#my children. my loves. my complex weirdos

[raspberry-arev]

INKTOBER DAY 20: Frost

I feel like whenever there is a winter prompt, I must draw Tori. I simply must. And I have drawn Tori cold and unimpressed before, but I want to give her a lanky curly guy to hug this time <3

[sainzproductions]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ⋆ 𝐜. 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐳

where you belatedly realize, you and carlos may never want the same things in life

INSTAGRAM 🔒

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris and others

yourusername favorite time of the year🌅🧜🌊🩷🍷

carlossainz55 eres mi chica favorita todos los días

translation: you're my favorite girl every day

landonorris i think my invite got lost in the mail..

yourusername sorry i didn't want my competition on a trip with me🙄

landonorris why are you so jealous of me

landonorris carlossainz55 tell her who came in your life first🤨

carlossainz55 y/n did. '10. she was wearing a black cami top, with a dark navy blue jacket with a nets print in the front.

yourusername 💅💅💅

landonorris okay... you weirdos🙄 go and be disgusting off my timeline

yourusername you want me to fly you out huh?

landonorris so badly... i'll do anything for it😩🙏

maxverstappen1 can i fly out with lando? 🙋

yourusername depends, can you make it clap?🤔

maxverstappen1 i can make it go wooo!!

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

You'd somehow, found yourself entrusted with a bright eyed, enthusiastic baby who was blowing bubbles from his mouth; chubby arms flailing by his side, as you held his small frame cautiously. His mother, one of carlos' many cousin had dropped the baby on your lap, before clamoring towards the bathroom in a haste to relieve herself.

“Don't look so stiff, y/n.” Blanca laughed at your shaken expression, crossing her arms in a resolute manner when you tried to hand the babbling baby to her. “Consider it practice, hermosa. He loves you, look.” she raises her eyebrows, gesturing with her hands to the baby who's bright eyes were intent on your face, giggling and muttering incoherently to himself.

You held the baby like it was a foreign object, hands hoisting him up by the armpits— your posture betraying your lack of finese in handling a fragile human being. In all the years, you've maintained a safe distance from any and possibly all soft headed creatures called babies. You've always appeared scared, and cautious when presented the opportunity to hold other people's children, opting to, instead politely decline and shrink behind whoever was accompanying you at the present moment.

“He's... something.” You tilt your head at the baby, slightly taken aback by the way he mirrors your movement. Blanca laughs, clearly enjoying your predicament.

“I don't know who's more charmed.” She teases, leaning back in her seat as she watches the hesitance slowly, but surely transform into fascination. The young one, as if sensing your initial reactions to his person, garbled more nonesense as if to maximize his cuteness— his chubby cheeks buldged, lips wobbling as he giggled, appearing delighted by your complex expressions.

“He's drooling, blanca.” You state, exssperated yet somewhat amused.

“Babies drool, y/n. They aren't the most intelligent creatures at that point.” You faintly hear the distinct sound of a shutter clicking, and you snap your head towards her— catching her with a phone in hand, a sheepish expression present on her face. “You looked identical, i'm sorry! I've always thought this would be you, someday. I mean, you went at it like bunnies when we were all younger—”

“Blanca, eso no es algo que digas en voz alta,” that's not something you say out loud. you chide, feeling your cheeks warm.

“Lo siento, hermosa.” She giggles, nudging your shoulder in apology, although you couldn't help but notice her expression shift slightly. “You can't blame me. When i think of you and my dear brother, i see you with ten little juniors running around your yard whilst the rest of us just borrow one of your children.”

You roll your eyes playfully at her ridiculous dream, “If i ever let it get to ten, you should tell him to get off me.”

The baby you were holding whines, wriggling to rest his head on your hands while blinking slowly. He was incredibly well behaved despite his drooling antics; and you couldn't help but notice the distinct features of a sainz in his face. Those warm brown eyes... and he was growing into his tall nose and matching trademark grin. He was adorable, you begrudgingly admit.

In a lapse of proper judgement, you allowed the baby to rest it's head on your shoulder. The toddler melting into your arms, quietly. Well behaved. Making himself comfortable in your arms. He was so tiny, you muse. So fragile and weak, you'd easily understood why there was such a thing people call a mother's instinct.

“You should have one first.” Blanca states, a soft smile on her face while you have your moment of realization.

“What should she have first?” Carlos asks, raising an eyebrow at your hushed conversations, pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek as he takes the seat beside you.

“Kids, carlos. It's impossible you have never thought of it.” Blanca answers like it was the obvious.

“I don't think it's anywhere near our future.” Carlos chuckles as if his sister had just told a joke, appearing taken aback as he belatedly notices the toddler on your arms who'd easily amused himself with the strands of your hair.

“How can you say that?” Blanca chides, hints of reproach evident in her tone. It is, afterall, somewhat strange that he thought of it in such a way— your relationship had been longer than any of hers had lasted, and it left a truly icky taste in her mouth.

“It's a converstation between y/n and i, Blanca. I don't think it's any of your business.” Carlos turned civil all of a sudden, snapping at his sister.

You bit your tongue to stop yourself from saying anything, the atmosphere suddenly becoming charged with tension.

“Oh muchas gracias, chica! I'm sorry i shoved him in your care,” the unnamed cousin thankfully interruped, oblivious to the tension in between you three as she took the baby from your hands. “Carlos, i haven't seen you in some time! How long will you be in spain?” she started chatting up to your boyfriend casually.

Blanca saw your eyes cloud briefly, she could distinctly class the change in your visage to longing.

Perhaps you weren't at all allergic to babies. Maybe she'd read you wrong. Maybe Carlos read you wrong.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1, 894,929 others

carlossainz55 you and me against the world

landonorris called me single in every language

username taking a toaster bath later🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

username my unproblematic parents🥺😭😭

username i'd trade a limb to have a love like carlos and y/n🙃

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

The drive to your home was silent. Neither of you spoke. You allowed yourself to bask in the tender, but welcomed ache in your limbs as a result of a day spent under the sun and swimming for the better part of the eventful day. You'd thoroughly enjoyed the time you've spent just frolicking in the water and playing around with Carlos. It was always worthwile, there weren't many opportunities you had to spend some uninterrupted time together.

If he wasn't on a racetrack, zooming by in a blur, he was occupied with meetings, press and proper workouts inbetween, leaving you with scraps of his attention.

“Y/n?” Carlos repeats your name, failing to snap you out of your thoughts. With one hand on the steering wheel, and the other in your grasp, he tugs at your intetwined hands. It made you look at him. “I've been calling your name a couple of times, querida. Is there anything wrong?” He worries.

“Nothing's wrong.” You assured him, trying to muster a smile. He pauses, as if measuring his words. “You've been quiet.” you hum in response, looking out of the window as the car moves again.

“Talk to me y/n...” he utters, resembling a plea.

You take a deep breath, clearing your throat. “I'd rather not.”

His jaw clenches, muscles tensing at your short responses. “Is this about the conversation with Blanca? We've talked about this a million times; there's no one else i'd want all the permanent shit other than you. But you know right now is a very delicate time of my career and i can't—”

“risk jeopardizing any of the opportunities that comes my way.” You repeat monotonously, looking at him. “I know, Carlos. I know where i stand.” you said it with such certainty, the fact itself ingrained in your very being after so many years of falling behind his priorities.

He's made it clear, time and time again.

“But i don't want to wake up one day, and realize i have to start all over again because i spent all my time waiting for a moment that would never happen.” you weren't loud, nor were you screaming. Yet it dealt the same weight and hurt, that made him unable to refute you.

[queer-ragnelle]

I'm honestly kinda disgusted by the way a lot of authors just seeped their misogyny onto Guinevere to make her so horrible, lol. effectively destroyed a lot of people's view of her and she gets blamed for everything?? people keep shitting on her, saying Lancelot should be shipped with "someone better" and I'm just really annoyed because.. Guinevere is horribly characterized by these weirdos authors 💀. It does not take much to portray her as a complex character while also not making her shitty on purpose because you don't like her for her affair, lol.

I love her so much and it's disappointing how she's been treated :(( which is why I'll never be able to hate Guinevere or her ship with Lancelot

My friend it’s honestly so exhausting at this point. It’s not even limited to writing Guinevere herself as insufferable, but writing other characters behaving worse toward her than they ever were in medlit. Arthur hitting and degrading her when he cheats on her? (Warrior of the West by M. K. Hume) Lancelot using her for political gain and never loving her at all? (Enemy of God by Bernard Cornwell) Owain blocking her passage as she flees danger? (Legend in Autumn by Persia Woolley) Agravaine threatening to rape her? (The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf) Gawain threatening to rape her? (Guinevere by Lavinia Collins) WHO are these characters bro you got me fucked up!!! The subtext here is that the authors hate Guinevere (read: women) so much they’re willing to warp everyone around her to treat her like garbage!!!

“Guinevere is bad because she has sex outside marriage.” Yeah so does Arthur. He fucked his own sister. In the dark. Leading her to believe he was her husband. So there’s Mordred, but there’s also Loholt and Arthur the Less etc. Arthur has many bastards from his extramarital affairs. (Vulgate and Post-Vulgate) Yet he isn’t canceled. Hm. Wonder what the difference could be? Let’s investigate. Seems authors treat Morgause and Morgan similarly to Guinevere. Gee, what is the common denominator here? Meanwhile in medlit, Morgause didn’t commit any crimes—she didn’t rape Arthur to have Mordred, she never neglected her children, she never cheated on Lot, and she didn’t prey on young men, she had ONE consistent lover who was younger than her AFTER her husband died. And she was murdered for it. (Post-Vulgate) Yet every other author writes her as a rapist (The Once and Future King by T. H. White), child grooming (The Wicked Day by Mary Stewart), pedophile (The Book of Gaheris by Kari Sperring), trying to put one of her sons on the throne (many examples). Now, Morgan is evil. But not for lewdness, for trying to murder people. In literally every source. Hello. It’s very simple. These authors are ridiculous. They care more about highlighting their opinion that fictional women having sex is BAD than writing a good story. When there are plenty of actually bad things happening in medlit they could condemn instead. You know, like the misogyny? Burning Guinevere at the stake??? You couldn’t make this up. It’s the utter disdain for the material for me. Assuming these dumbasses are even reading the material. Write something else where I can’t see it. (To be clear, I don’t even hate all the books I listed as examples, but they are unfortunately examples.)

Thankfully I haven’t encountered the blogger discourse regarding this. At least not lately. My advice to anyone who sees people shitting on something you like is to block them. Just do it. Fuck that noise. It’s not worth it.

Also I have to laugh at ship discourse about Guinevere/Lancelot. Of all pairs! It’s so unserious. They’re not some random comphet duo from the newest tumblr trending fandom. They’re mythological characters from a medieval literary tradition. Lancelot was created for her. In the 12th century. That was 900 years ago. It feels juvenile to reduce them to ship discourse. Especially because the story is fluid, it can be reshaped to fit the author’s narrative. So if Guinevere sucks, it’s because they made her that way. This is the epitome of making up a girl to be mad at.

“Oh but in Knight of the Cart—” Shh stop talking. If you’re pulling out KotC like some “gotcha” about Guinevere’s treatment of Lancelot, then you’re lost, buddy. You may be seeking entertainment in the wrong place! Guinevere and Lancelot aren’t real. Nobody was “abused” because they’re characters, narrative tools, to tell a story. Guinevere is flawed. Nobody ever said she wasn’t. If that’s too much complexity for you then I don’t know what else there is to say.

Honestly? Nobody is obligated to like Guinevere. I think it’s stupid to dislike her but the real take away is—if you dislike Guinevere so much, hate her even, why the are you writing so poorly about her? She’s as old a character as Arthur himself. Show some fucking respect or get out.

Anyway I’m going to end this with a recommendation! Today I started the third book of Sharan Newman’s Guinevere trilogy. The first two, Guinevere and The Chessboard Queen were utterly AWESOME!! Lots and lots of named women, like Guinevere’s mother Guenlain, Cador’s wife Sidna and daughter Lydia, Guinevere’s handmaiden Risa, and so on. The one downside is Morgause and Morgan are your typical modern retelling baddies, but overall it’s two thumbs up from me. Many points of view, but Guinevere is fascinating and complex and most importantly she is beloved!!!!!! Really hoping it stays enjoyable through to the end. Miss Newman is still in print, so I encourage everyone to seek these books out at your local library or from your favorite bookseller. Here’s a quote from book 2, The Chessboard Queen.

[toon-topaz]

HIII so basically i am obsessed with your vampire if. I've never even had a specific fixation on vampires lol but i LOVE the idea of giving subaru even more reason to be paranoid of the people around him!!! :D ALSO ALSO the trauma of being killed by vampires?? beings he idolises?? Something else he'll probably have a breakdown about yay!!! ^^ ANYWAY if you don't mind me asking how do you think him being human would affect his relationships with others who know/don't know?? Like in canon he's already an incomprehensible weirdo but now that he's ACTIVELY trying to hide something do those not in the know suspect/distrust him even more?? For those that DO know how do they feel about it?? Do they have to like. Actively cover up for him when he slips up?? Does the shared secret bring them closer?? e.g., in Pristella haha what do you mean its suspicious that you've never seen Natsuki eat?? Now that i think about it since Emilia's been established as a subpar liar its probably Otto who has to save Subarus human ass lol assuming he's eventually told as a part of his camp. Sorry for the uncomfortably detailed ask lmao ur au just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go!!

Oh please don't apologize, I am absolutely delighted to be getting interest in my silly little au :D

I’ll try my best to answer all your questions but feel free to ask more or just throw in some ideas of your own hehe, either in reblogs or DMs I don’t mind.

So yes absolutely he will be having many breakdowns about it on top of your usual “stuck in a timeloop of death” breakdowns lol. He learns very quick why being in a world full of vampires is absolutely not fun, and to be fair he did sort of assume he’d get turned at some point and get to live as one. Alas, he’s simply too fragile to withstand the process, if he even gets that far before just dying of blood loss. He’s very tasty.

His relationships with everyone are made even more complex than they already are by the fact that they could straight up kill him if they pick him up wrong. He has to walk on eggshells and he hates it, and so do they. He’s trying so hard to be a tough masculine man like his father, hell he likes being all rough and tumble and play fighting and all that, but he just can’t. Back home he was at least fairly fit and resilient but here, in comparison to everyone else (even the village children)? He feels utterly worthless, and it absolutely starts to skew his sense of self. Was he ever even that athletic? Has he always been so breakable, or is it just that everyone here is superhuman? It’s not even limited to just Reinhard or Garfiel anymore, it’s everyone, including random thugs. The malnutrition from a lack of a balanced diet in the first few months aren’t helping his physical state, nor is the insomnia.

It isn’t helped by the fact that after just a couple loops, he’s legitimately quite afraid of his friends and enemies alike. He doesn’t hold a candle to them, and if any of them were so inclined to harm him, if they suddenly became hostile (he’s carrying a LOT of miasma, AND his human blood is like ambrosia to pretty much every vampire), there would be quite literally nothing he could do to stop him. And the only failsafe he has is rewinding time a bit to try and stop whatever happened from happening this time.

His developing brain is pretty much fucked, because while he’s terrified of his friends he still loves them all so very much, even the ones who have actually killed, maimed, tortured and/or eaten him. The idea of love in his mind goes hand in hand with fear and pain, and there’s no separating it at this point, which leaves him at once incredibly wary and paranoid, and paradoxically very susceptible to manipulation. He can’t hold it against them, if they get a whiff of his blood they can’t help it, no matter how many nights he spends awake and trembling under his covers. The only one he doesn’t fear like this is Beatrice, because she isn’t a vampire. Once they form their contract he at least has someone to hold onto and keep an eye on the door for him. Beatrice swears she won’t let anything get him in his sleep, and she means it.

The one boon all this has given him, if you can call it that, is that it’s turned him into a VERY good liar. He’s much better at improvising a cover story than his canon counterpart, even able to keep track of multiple lies at once. He allows himself to be a bit more open with his own camp, who all are informed eventually, and with a little bit of help from resident fraud expert Otto, he’s able to have a fully crafted and rehearsed backstory, paperwork and all. He’s only this weak because he’s afflicted with a chronic sickness that stunts his vampiric powers. Yes, it’s permanent, it’s a family curse. Don’t worry about how there’s no records of such a disease existing outside of this one certificate that definitely wasn’t forged.

The constant lying is isolating, but at least this secret is one he keeps on purpose, for a very good reason. At least it’s not something he physically cannot talk about lest he and his loved ones be violently punished, like that other thing. Thanks Satella.

As for how everyone else feels about this, I’ve mostly detailed it in that other post (that I have a followup reblog to in the works I promise), I can link it in the replies if you haven’t seen it.

The whole Priestella thing would be VERY funny though, and by funny I mean horrifying, because these damned Archbishops are even scarier now. I haven’t yet thought about how Dragon’s Blood would affect him differently but man it sure is fun to think about.

Anyways yea that’s my brain dump for now uwu, hope you enjoyed and again, don’t be afraid to start a conversation I love to chat

[leuke-rants]

Some fan facts about the four heroes in my rewrite of trotsh:

Motoyasu:

- He is half Finish-half Japanese. I like the idea of Motoyasu being a natural blond so he has to get the genes from somewhere.

- He is ambidextrous, though he favours his right hand.

- He has excellent memory and can learn things very fast if he wants to. I think this is kinda canon considering he learned the Melromarc language in just one day.

- He can speak four languages: Japanese, English, Finish and French (five if you count Melromarc's language)

- He majors in linguistics

- He is really into fashion and wanted to major in fashion but his mother shut down the idea rather quickly. Too many girls in that major .....

- He knows how to sew and cook (he is an average cook)

- Although he is very flirty and doesn't mind the idea of having a girlfriend he does not want to get married. His parents marriage is proof enough that it doesn't end well for either parties.

- He is a certified himbo

- He is a people pleaser and doesn't like making others upset.

- He trusts women more that men.

Naofumi:

- He is a very relaxed and lay back guy

- He knows how to read people and acts accordingly.

- Used to take care of his younger brother when his parents were at work so he has a soft spot for children.

- Just like his brother he has anger issues. He learned to control his anger over the years and even helped his little brother with his.

- He is generally friendly but his introverted nature make him seem unapproachable.

- He is rather distant and may seem a little cold to strangers but once you get to know him he is a the sweetest guy ever.

- His parents were so busy with work so he basically raised his brother.

- Learned how to cook for himself and his brother since their parents were barely home. He is an excellent cook and always tries recipes from different cuisines

- Just like his father he has a talent for the trading business. Because of that he majors in international trade.

- H is e also very good at gambling and knows how to manage money. Thankfully he reserves his talent for card games with his friends.

- He has no idea how to talk to women his age so whenever a girl approaches him he becomes a stuttering mess . He can talk to them normally if they are close friends or talking business.

Ren:

- The most antisocial person you will ever meet.

- He is autistic.

- He noticed that people treated him differently and not in a good way. Because of this he became really closed off.

- He puts the 'Too good to talk to you" persona so that people will leave him alone.

- He found solace in video games and spends most of his times in his room.

- He doesn't know he is autistic, he just thinks that people dislike him for no reason.

- Although he loves his parents and they love him back they have no idea what is wrong with their son and they can't seem to understand his problems.

- He has a bad reputation among the students for being the "creepy-quite kid". The teachers don't mind him,he is quite and has pretty good grades.

- He has no idea he is autistic.

- He really loves cats. His parents noticed this and bought him one. He named her after his favourite video game character and has been his close companion ever since.

- He is extremely blunt and people don't like that. That's the reason he has only one friend.

- He finds it easier to talk to people through the internet. He has a lot of online friends and they even have a discord chat together.

- His only friend is a senior girl from his school. They met at a comic con and became friends after they realized they liked the same anime and video games.

- He started to have a crush on her and fell in love after she defended him from her friends who thought he was a weirdo.

- He became heartbroken after she moved away and vowed to never get close to anyone ever again.

- After that he became more cold and intolerant of people.

Itsuki:

- Lives with his mother in an apartment complex.

- His father always told him to protect his mother and stick up for the little guys and he took that advise very seriously.

- He is being bullied for being a late bloomer and for his feminine features.

- He always defends other kids from bullying and isn't afraid to throw a punch. Because of that he gets into a lot of trouble.

- He has a talent for archery. He found out during gym class and ever since he took part in competitions and tournaments to earn some money and help his mother.

- He has dyslexia and isn't aware of it. Because of this his grades are not the best. He doesn't tell his mother about his problem because he doesn't want to burden her.

- He is very flexible and pretty good at gymnastics.

- He gets frustrated rather easily and can lose his temper quickly.

- He will either think things through or act on impulse, there is no in-between.

- He really likes animals and feeds the strays very often.

Well that's all I have so far. Perhaps I "ll make a part 2 or give information about their allies,who knows?

[morgana-ren]

Hello! Came here from ao3, I really love your fics and writing style.

I just wanted to ask (and feel free to ignore if you dont want to answer) since you write a lot of dark content, have you ever gotten rude messages from people or pearl clutchers commenting on your fics?

I'd like to write darker fics but I'm lowkey worried about the reception to some ideas. Thats why I really admire authors like yourself who write with a great sense of attitude. Do you have any advice? Were you nervous when you first started posting dark fics?

Ooh! Interesting question! So sorry this turned into something SUPER long, but I actually have been exactly where you are right now!

So, funny story! When I first started writing fics fuckin' years ago, I desperately wanted to get into writing darkfic. Traditional, cutesy fics— while awesome for other folks— just did not do it for me at all. It was actually something I'd known and understood since childhood and always wanted to foray into. I never read vanilla stories, and I had genuine trouble writing them for a lack of passion or interest. It was something I was deeply interested in and had ambitions for.

It was actually Tomura Shigaraki that made me dust off the old keyboard and begin writing again, and that... Was a huge problem.

See, the MHA fandom was NOT as accepting as it is now back when I started writing— and I hesitate to call it accepting even now. Darkfic was heavily demonized and even fairly rare to come across. It was a fucking wasteland of nosy, pathetic busybodies who thought very highly of themselves and their opinions and dubbed themselves the saviors of the Internet and took it upon themselves to be horrific, vicious little cunts without a single modicum of self-awareness or shame. They got their jollies bending over backwards to antagonize authors who did anything they didn't like by ironically showcasing their own staggering ignorance of how the mind works and making it everyone else's problem in real life. They were very loud and pretentious about it, and unfortunately, some of them garnered quite a following of vulnerable, ignorant children who hung on their every word and command and were tricked into thinking these people had a single idea what the hell they were talking about.

Harassing real people over fictional characters. Using pop-psychology terms they didn't understand. Biased claims that had no basis in reality. Siccing followers on authors. Stalking and doxxing— you name it, they did it with malevolent, self-righteous glee. People getting death threats and doxxed was a very real problem that had some talented, lovely authors disappear from the Internet entirely and put people's actual lives in danger. Over words. On the Internet.

Darkfic authors were one of the groups that were harassed relentlessly. It was pretty rare to find someone brave enough to post it on AO3, leave alone Tumblr, and those that did were pretty much guaranteed harassment on one level or another, whether it was death threats or call-out posts day in and day out, or just cruel, mean-spirited anons. The pioneers of darkfic in that shithole of a fandom were braver than any US marine lmao.

Needless to say, I was petrified. The first fic I sat down and wrote for the fandom (Vermilion) was pretty harmless for the most part, although it dipped its toes in dark subject matter if you were particularly squeamish. If I had my way, it was going to be much, much darker. I wanted it to be darker desperately, but I was so terrified of the petulant, pathetic fandom mommies that literally made it their job to harass authors over fictional characters that I ended up policing myself over it.

The tipping point for me was making friends who with the few people who did have the balls to post it. Authors who were unbelievably talented and didn't give a fuck what some fandom-obsessed weirdo with a superiority complex had to say about it. They actually gave me the courage to be true to myself, and even then, holy fuck it was harrowing at first. I was shaking when I posted the first dark thing I ever wrote on here.

There was an outpour of support. People who loved the story and wanted more. Slowly, I totally overcame the fear with the mix of people in the community being kind and supportive, and simultaneously realizing how utterly pathetic and almost sad the puritanical pop-science fandom police were. Even now, I feel bad for them. No one healthy has that level of fascination and hatred with someone they don't know or something they don't understand that is ENTIRELY OPTIONAL to consume. It's genuinely sad and strange and is far more dangerous than reading about dubious topics in a fanfic.

Slowly, more people started to write darkfic and post it in defiance of these weirdos, and now it's fairly common! I can also say that thankfully, a lot of the weirdo, obsessive puritans have disappeared. I'm hoping they grew up and realized how absurd the whole thing was and are deeply ashamed of their past actions. You don't have to like or respect stories with dark topics, but talking out of your ass and making up reasons why the authors are bad people who deserve to be harassed and die is... Hilariously ironic.

Now, all that being said, I actually have never received hatemail. I was shocked. Hell, I still am, because some of my stories are genuinely heinous. I think I got someone's attempt at it once, but they were either drunk or a 3 year old, because it was literally incoherent. (And it was over the fact I hate Bakugo and not the content of my stories lmao Bakugo stans be wildin' sometimes.)

I think the closest thing I've gotten to a mean comment is someone commenting (incorrectly) that my German translation was off, and one that basically equated to "I love this story but anything more would be too extreme for me," which was very polite and not intended to be rude (although I wasn't quite sure what the point of the comment was lmao)

My best advice? Be yourself. Unabashedly and without fear. Write that dark content and post it with a smile. Your audience will find you, and you'll find so much love and support in the community eventually. Your fics are for you, and if others don't like it? They can act like an adult and not read something that upsets or offends them. Mean words suck, but there is nothing more liberating than spitting in the face of someone who tries to smother you and doing it anyway happily.

Most people who pearl-clutch and sling insults have a tenuous grasp on their own logic and are extremely entitled. I've found that more often than not, they're hateful, reactionary youngsters looking for an excuse to feel superior by pretending they have the moral high ground. They talk out of their ass about things they don't understand and all it does is make them look foolish. Like, they are literally factually, scientifically incorrect most of the time. They are the fanfic/literary equivalent of evangelical white moms having a panic over metal music being from the devil and DND turning their kids gay.

Fanfiction is just that: fiction.

Understanding yourself, your kinks and your own mind can also help immensely. You don't care much if some snotty anon calls you a degenerate if you understand why you write what you do and have no shame regarding it. Understanding the impact of fiction vs. reality, kink science, trauma coping, psychology, and other related topics (depending on what you write) can also help if you want to waste time trying to educate them.

Truthfully though? The funniest response to hate is either not responding at all (oh my God they hate that one) or responding with complete and total nonsense a la "your mom suck me good and hard thru my jorts."

These days? I don't worry about it at all. I write what I write and it brings me great catharsis and joy. I've made incredible friends and met talented people. I've improved my own skills and I have a "productive" hobby. Some folks don't like it? Cope and seethe and piss your pants and suck the liquid back out of the fabric and tell your mom my jorts are feeling a bit dry.

[ryp3004]

OC ask game by @/yvesdot

Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite? Ryanne has 1 (one) stuffed animal named Moo Cow

Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child? Ryanne can NOT take care of plants. That girl has the brownest thumb ever seen. She doesn't do good with things that don't tell her what they need. She definitely likes kids, but she likes kids once they start talking. Baby's freak her out because crying could mean any number of things.

Ask them to describe their love interest. Wes is, in her words, "the sweetest, handsomest, strongest, consideratest, charmingest man she has ever met"

Do they look good in red? I want to say yes, but I think the shade of her hair throws off warm colors a lot so she sticks to cool tones.

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about? Ryanne will give a speech about anything! She usually falls back on the "acceptance is great" and "love everyone" because that's usually all it takes to get her classmates to be friends again

Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is? She hangs on every word her parents say. They are two incredibly successful hollywood elites, she figures they know what they're talking about. She does not take advice from people like Asher, Max, or even Chase. People that think they know better than her before they even listen to her.

Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words. My three are kind, hardworking, and ambitious. Hers would be perfect, sweet, and dependable

Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them? On the inside I think she gets frustrated quite easily with things she thinks she should get right away but on the outside she's a shake it off and keep working at it kinda gal

Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)? YES everything is something she wants to love and care for. When her grandparents threw away her childhood toys it was like someone died.

What age do they most want to be right now? She's happy at 17

They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save? Spend/donate the majority. She's already rich, she doesn't really see the need to keep it. Plus, if everyone knows she donated so much money she will get Good Girl Points™.

Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)? I think that Ryanne loves love, but she doesn't like reading/watching it. The lack of communication in a lot of fictional couples frustrates her.

Name one thing their parents taught them. Rebecca taught her how to pick locks as a kid. Wes finds this out before they start dating and it's an immediate "holy shit"

Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any? Because of her upbringing, every time she's not helping/working/sacrificing-for-others she feels guilty, though she's working on it. Her biggest guilty pleasure is definitely celebrity drama, especially when her parents can give her the inside scoop

What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work? Any time she's by herself, sitting still.

If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear? What she wears now! She loves flowy dresses! Though, I do think she has a special interest in rococo fashion and if she could she'd have a full rococo outfit just to have

Do they like children? She does! Though like i said before, she likes them from like 3 onward

Kissing: tongue or no tongue? This is a high schooler 🤨

Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews? YES she needs to be perfect and get the perfect outcome!

What do they like that nobody else does? Bugs! She thinks spiders are cute (weirdo)

What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw? Disrespect of her friends/family. Once she loves someone they are part of her family and she will not accept any show of disrespect of her family. The exception is Max, but she often gets very short and abrupt with him, especially when he gets to be too much.

Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to? She doesn't use them often, they're not her favorite thing, but she doesn't mind being called them. Wes calls her Babe and Sweetheart a lot, and her Bio-dad calls her pumpkin

Stability or novelty? Stability

Honesty or charity? Charity

Safety or possibility? Safety

Talent or effort? Talent

Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)? Forgiveness

Would they date a fixer-upper? Yes

What recurring dreams do they have? She often has dreams where she's lost in a maze

What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven? Get angry. Gnashing teeth and lashing out angry

[dollivication]

Hihiiiii, this is gonna be long, i've got a rant AND an idea thingy. i've mentioned before not bein into anyone other than Wesker in Resident Evil buuuut I just watched Resident Evil: Vendetta and I GET THE HYPE, I ADMIT, I GET IT. LEON'S MODEL IS SO FINE. I'm guilty to say seeing him in the movie and the old games vs in RE2+4 Remake, I prefer this design. He's more rugged? LAIK I KNOW HE STARTS OFF AS A ROOKIE BUUUT THEY COULDA KEPT HIS LOOK I saw people speaking about the newer design for his character saying they gave him the 'dumbass pretty boy' look cuz it makes more sense for him as a rookie cop in 2 but man.... Rookies can look like anything so if that were the case for the change....eeeeeh.... Also unpopular opinion, I also prefer Louis' old design. I'M SORRY, HE DOES GIVE OFF THE CREEPY UNCLE VIBE IN THE REMAKES MODEL. ANYWAY, I hope you're doing well today, staying hydrated and fed! Gotta look after yourself above all else. To make this less of a rant, I shall be the first (I think) to make a Wesker scenario/idea thingy. Wesker is all about himself, right? It's a part I surprisingly love about him. BUT LAIK, if he deems you special enough to make you his 'pet', just know he's NEVER letting you leave him. He knows all, where you go, who you talk to, what you're doing, etc. And if you even think of trying to contact anyone (perhaps a certain STARS agent...) you can find yourself tied up by his Uroboros tentacles and used for hours until he's done with work and uses you himself. He's superior, he tells you that, and he'll fill you up with his cum, talk about giving you a 'purpose' , laik breeding you to have his obviously 'superior, god-like children' OOP- He's a feckin menace, I can imagine if you go to get help in person (he has eyes on you at all times, so ofc you can roam around but not for long if you keep creep round some rookie or CHRIS) you'll end up in a bloody puddle, not dead but certainly taught a lesson... ☉▵☉ JUST AN IDEA FROM A DEPRAVED WESKER FAN DON'T MIND MEEE Love ya, Dolly (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ -Nell 🍓

NELLLLLL HAI HAILLO HEY :3!!!! WHEN I SAW THIS I LIT UP I CANNOT LAI… it’s always a treat to hear from yu!!! ^.^ and oh my we have MUCH TO DISCUSS TAKE A SEAT MWAAA 🩷🩷🩷

VENDETTA LEON IS JUST A SKRUNKLE!!!! HE IS a sopping wet andgrumpy kity… AND NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,, it would be interesting to see him laik dat in re2.. laik how could this stingy critter get even stingier… a leon miserable from the start would’ve been pretty funy methinks LMAO

you are SO right about luis’ old design you are voicing thoughts i am 2 shy to say.. laik his new design is great!! but there’s a certain peculiarity to his old wan that screams yucky weirdo uncle.. might be dat wack ass hair and outfit GIGGLING he looks laik a vampire too !!! they’re both in special parts of my heart…. 🩷

I AMMM DOING SPLENDID and oh my lordy lord i forgot to drink water today THANK you for the reminder LMHREKSLFG i promise that’s not usually like me.. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING THE SAME HOWEVER !!!!!! please take lots o care!!!! >.<

THE. THE WESKER SCENARIO. IM SAT.!!!!??? TENTACLES,, ESPECIALLY FROM UROBOROS,,, ARE THE WAY TO MY HEART …. THE SUPERIORITY COMPLEX. BY JOVE!!! he’s so narcissistic and he’d probably tell you to be thankful that he chose you to have his kids… anyone would die for a chance like that!! (he is NOT wrong HEL))

his freaky ass would probably even put a shock collar on you,… god forbid you do anything that’s remotely out of line! AND ESPECIALLY god forbid you go near chris he’ll actually tweak the fuck out … i want wesker to stab me and say it was my fault for pushing him i CANNOT lie.. laik yur rite king i’m sorryIMSO SANE IM SO SANY

nell i’m hugging yu so tightly rn this crumb of thought was yumy… i lauv wesker so badly….sighs dreamily💔💔💔

[concretecrisiscompatible]

tldr: Let's stop calling things 'demonic'.

When we as Christians start labeling anything any one of us could possibly disagree with as 'demonic' it takes away all the power that word has and reduces spiritual warfare to something only weirdo conspiracy theorists believe in. It's even more insidious when people use it as a marketing tactic.

"Secular music is demonic, so you should listen to my song out on Spotify!" Are there destructive artists out there? Absolutely. There are artists who write hateful songs and do horrible things outside of their music, too. Does that mean all secular music is bad? No.

"[Insert brand here] is demonic, so you should buy this thing I sell!" Do brands do immoral stuff sometimes? Absolutely. Sweatshop labour, exploitative working conditions, environmental impacts, etc. are all very real things. Does that mean that only Christian brands are good?

Boiling everything down to 'Christian vs non-Christian' is super destructive. When it comes to brands or music or behaviors it assumes that every person in the world has no ability to discern good and evil for themselves. It's never black and white.

Not everyone is able to consume alcohol in a healthy and safe way, so not everyone should have alcohol. Does that mean we should ban it altogether? No. We should empower people to make their own decisions in life.

This 'Christian vs non-Christian' mindset is also super exclusionary and divisive. Who is a "real Christian" and who isn't a "real Christian?" Does this mean that we should treat people of other faiths differently?

There are absolutely forces of evil in the world, just look at systemic racism and poverty, the prison industrial complex, Islamophobia and anti-Semitism, etc. Not any one person started that, and not any one person will fix it by making Christian sweatshirts and guilting people into buying them. (And I have SO much more to say about using guilt as a marketing tactic, but that's for another day. And even more about treating evangelism like marketing, again for another day.)

Jesus speaks about lifting up the marginalized, loving your neighbor, and creating a healthy community through which injustices rectified.

The Beatitudes:

“'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

'Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

'Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

'Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

'Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

'Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.'" - Matthew 5:3-12

And from the rest of Matthew 5:

“So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison." - Matthew 5:23-26 NRSVUE

"But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven, for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." - Matthew 5:44-48

That's all I have to say for now.

Happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⚧

[sugarpsalms]

Hello! About the book recs! I'd like to hear your gorgeous rambles on some (or all??) of these: 16, 35, 55, 85 🫶

from the book recs ask game!

A book you'd recommend to your younger self?

Oh you know what? I wish I could have Little Sonny read Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. I read it for the first time when I was around 19, and as much as I loved it, I know I would've enjoyed it so much more as the target age group. I was very much a fantasy kid, and I still think it's weird I somehow didn't read it then. My only guess is that a copy just wasn't in my school library, so where would I have come across it? If I could time travel and leave a copy on Little Sonny's pillow, though, I would. It's such a fun, cozy, and well developed kid fantasy. The world-building is fantastic, Sophie is SO funny, and Howl is kind of me. Over all, I just know I would've developed a very special bond with it.

Also, I think I'd have been more likely to continue the series if I'd started then. I was less likely at that age to get attached to specific characters over a universe, and having the second book in the series not mention Howl and Sophie at all wouldn't have put me off in the same way it did at 19.

A book featuring the found family trope?

The first that comes to mind is The Saturday Night Ghost Club by Craig Davidson, which is a very touching coming-of-age story. It centers on a twelve-year-old boy, a pair of siblings (new to town), and his weird uncle, all who spend the summer together exploring their town's ghost stories and urban legends. It does that really special thing all good CoA stories do, where it makes you feel warm and fuzzy but also devastated at the same time. The MC forms really deep, complex, and lasting relationships with these two other kids that no one else in town their age likes. They get to be weirdos together, have fun, and explore and learn about themselves, as well as the town around them from someone older who, you get the sense, was once very much the same kind of kid they are. It's got a lot of incredibly loving and silly goofy moments, all with this undercurrent of mounting dread, because the 'devastated' aspect of this story is the MC having to learn a painful lesson: sometimes there's something deeply wrong with the people you love and there's nothing you can do about it.

Honestly, really, truly, it's one of my favorite books ever, and if you can get your hands on it, I think you should! It makes you cry in all the best ways, and when it ends, your heart feels so so full <3

A book with a satisfying ending?

Sisters of the Crimson Vine by P.L. McMillan! This is another book I've gotten one (1) other person to read and been so pleased with myself over the fact. It's a quick and weird little folk+cosmic horror blend that also hits some of my favorite gothic fiction notes (repression, taboo sexuality, & desire as consumption). It follows the MC after he wakes up in an isolated convent following a freak car accident, and the escalatingly weird, dangerous, and supernatural events that play out while he's there. It's a lot of fun if you're a fan of simultaneously creepy and sexy nuns (who's relationship with the MC kind of gave a more punched-up version of Jonanthan Harker's relationship with Dracula, to me), children-of-the-corn-esque religious cults, and off-kilter relationship dynamics.

What made the ending so satisfying, I think, is that about a third of the way in, how I initially wanted the story to end did a 180. From like the first three pages up until that point, I had a very particular way I wanted the story to go, but the growing companionship between the MC and the sisters of Crimoria Convent just, at a certain point, hits like a truck. And from then on I was desperately hoping what I first wanted WOULDN'T happen. And lucky me! It didn't! Things wrapped exactly how I (secondarily) wanted, with there still being lots of great weirdness and gore to keep that part of my brain satisfied.

Your favorite book about magical realism?

It's got to be Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia for this one, which is a nice blend of Mayan mythology, historical drama, and magical realism. The story follows a young girl who gets swept up into a clash between the god of death and his brother who, in league with the MC's grandfather, sealed him in a box. It's simultaneously a family drama, a love story to mythology, and the MC's struggle for liberation and agency, set on the backdrop of Jazz Age Mexico. It hops between her nowhere hometown, booming Mexico City, and the Mayan Underworld, and does a phenomenal job of blending the reality and fantasy. It's honestly the best example I can think of for this particular brand of world-building. On top of that, the relationship between the MC and death god is just! So interesting! I loved the slow build of trust and understanding between them, and how, especially from the god's perspective, you could really feel that shift.

I can't lie, there was a huge discrepancy between the ending I WANTED and the ending I GOT; but to be fair, the ending I WANTED wouldn't have been nearly as emotionally rounded or ultimately as satisfying. It's one of those that, if you're like me, you have to sit with for a minute to really appreciate, but once you do, it feels right and good and perfectly suited to the narrative's needs.

[isleofair]

3 things (:

1. I read on the wiki that one of Nathan’s dreams is to build a happy family with a lover!!?? Do you agree with this being canon (in your opinion) and if so how would you interpret it? (Maybe just Keith and the dogs or something else entirely?) I personally can see it, Nathan is such a thoughtful and aware person, even her interactions with the younger heroes alone just sells the idea for me.

2. What's a personal habit (or habits) you think Keith and Nathan have generally? (exampe: nail biting, pen clicking, doodling on important papers)

3. Love your stuff! Just dropping in to say hi! (I don’t rlly used my tumblr but why not start again!)

OMG hiii!!! 😍💚💚💚

I'm honestly honored you'd ask my opinion! 😅 Like... Maybe I have finally achieved that level of obsession with characters that gives off a vague aura of "my thoughts about them are somehow interesting"? 🤔😂🥰

But brace yourself, because this is now that "you have asked me about my hyperfixation and thus triggered an unskippable cutscene" post, lol 😅

I do think that is as canon as anything that's not directly in the show can be, yeah! (By which I mean "I hold it to be true because the authors wanted me to know about it and put it in an official product, but if someone wanted to argue that it's not really canon because it's not in the show, I'd go, 'eh, fair enough'".) My interpretation is a bit complex: I absolutely do think Nathan wants a lover and a happy family. (Like you say, she's so thoughtful, and she loves love, and supporting other people.) Now, does that 'family' imply kids? Nathan seems to love children (the same source says she wants to increase company profits to donate more money to kids), but... I think she might do so in a slightly, how to put it, more theoretical / slightly less hands-on way? I'm basing this on how she interacts with baby Sam in episode 1x09. When handed a baby, her first instinct is to go "no no no that's not for me"; she only holds him when Bunny says they need a woman because Sam is calling for "mama", so it's more of an identity-affirming thing than an I-really-like-babies thing. OTOH, she is quite nurturing, and she doesn't look too uncomfortable once she does hold Sam. But, OTOOH, she treats Rose and Kid as her peers; in spite of them being teens and her (probably) being in her 30s, she acts more like an older sister than like a parent or even an aunt to them. So I think the "happy family" thing is mostly about... you know. Having someone you share an unconditional love with; someone you can go home to. Which doesn't seem to be something she has from her parents any more. 🙁 (But she does seem to get along well with her younger sister, which, well, see the thing about Rose and Kid). And I absolutely think that is Keith and the dogs for her, yes!!! They seem to want so many of the same things, and they get along so easily and so well (as soon as they get over their slight communication bump), and they obviously like spending time together in all contexts. (It's probably one of those "Oh. Wait. I already have that family I wanted, and it's this adorable weirdo and his fluffy boys" kind of things.) ❤️💜 (I could see both of them maybe wanting to have kids in the future; but I also don't see Keith ever retiring unless he has to, and Nathan probably wouldn't want to stop being his Buddy, and they're both ridiculously busy. So my personal idea is they just keep helping and supporting kids everywhere forever, including mentoring more and more younger heroes, but they never have their own children... Although that might be me projecting, because I'm very much an "I don't want kids EVER" kind of person. 😅)

Oooh. I don't usually naturally come up with such minute headcanons on my own, but now that you've asked... 🤔 I think Keith might be someone who grounds himself by touching stuff? Like, petting his dogs, holding objects, something like that. (Possibly the kind of person who, when holding hands with someone, would keep stroking his thumb along the other person's hand without quite realizing he's doing it.) As for Nathan, I could see her maybe biting her lip or the end of a pen or something when she's frustrated, or maybe also when she's trying to focus. (Or her nails, too, but only if she can do so without ruining her manicure, lol.)

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Thank you so much again!!! Love to see you around here, as well 💚💚💚 And... Look, I gave you that freaking novel of an answer at point 1, but I realized as I typed it that my thesis statement on that matter already exists, and it's essentially my fic Sunday, lol 😅 So I'll shamelessly plug it for your further reading (just because you already said you'd like to read more of my stuff 💖), even though it says pretty much the same things I wrote here 😘

Thank you so much for this ask, I absolutely adore talking about FireSky (obviously, lol 😅) and I love every chance to do so! We can chat about them any time you'd like! 🥰🥰🥰

[warningsine]

Judged purely on style, HBO’s “True Detective” is a great show. Every week, it offers up shiver-inducing cable intoxicants, from an over-the-top action sequence so liquid it rivals a Scorsese flick to piquant scenes of rural degradation, filmed on location in Louisiana, a setting that has become a bit of an HBO specialty. (“Treme” and “True Blood” are also set there.)

Like many critics, I was initially charmed by the show’s anthology structure (eight episodes and out; next season a fresh story) and its witty chronology, which chops and dices a serial-killer investigation, using two time lines. In the nineteen-nineties, two detectives, Marty Hart and Rust Cohle (Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey), hunt down a fetishistic murderer, the sort of artsy bastard who tattoos his female victims, then accessorizes them with antlers and scatters cultish tchotchkes at the crime scene. In the contemporary time line, these ex-partners are questioned by two other cops, who suspect that the murders have begun again. If you share my weakness for shows that shuffle time or have tense interrogations—like the late, great “Homicide” or the better seasons of “Damages”—you might be interested to see these methods combined. The modern interviews become a voice-over, which is layered over flashbacks, and the contrast between words and images reveals that our narrators have been cherry-picking details and, at crucial junctures, flat-out lying. So far, so complex.

On the other hand, you might take a close look at the show’s opening credits, which suggest a simpler tale: one about heroic male outlines and closeups of female asses. The more episodes that go by, the more I’m starting to suspect that those asses tell the real story.

This aspect of “True Detective” (which is written by Nic Pizzolatto and directed by Cary Fukunaga) will be gratingly familiar to anyone who has ever watched a new cable drama get acclaimed as “a dark masterpiece”: the slack-jawed teen prostitutes; the strippers gyrating in the background of police work; the flashes of nudity from the designated put-upon wifey character; and much more nudity from the occasional cameo hussy, like Marty’s mistress, whose rack bounces merrily through Episode 2. Don’t get me wrong: I love a nice bouncy rack. And if a show has something smart to say about sex, bring it on. But, after years of watching “Boardwalk Empire,” “Ray Donovan,” “House of Lies,” and so on, I’ve turned prickly, and tired of trying to be, in the novelist Gillian Flynn’s useful phrase, the Cool Girl: a good sport when something smells like macho nonsense. And, frankly, “True Detective” reeks of the stuff. The series, for all its good looks and its movie-star charisma, isn’t just using dorm-room deep talk as a come-on: it has fallen for its own sales pitch.

To state the obvious: while the male detectives of “True Detective” are avenging women and children, and bro-bonding over “crazy pussy,” every live woman they meet is paper-thin. Wives and sluts and daughters—none with any interior life. Instead of an ensemble, “True Detective” has just two characters, the family-man adulterer Marty, who seems like a real and flawed person (and a reasonably interesting asshole, in Harrelson’s strong performance), and Rust, who is a macho fantasy straight out of Carlos Castaneda. A sinewy weirdo with a tragic past, Rust delivers arias of philosophy, a mash-up of Nietzsche, Lovecraft, and the nihilist horror writer Thomas Ligotti. At first, this buddy pairing seems like a funky dialectic: when Rust rants, Marty rolls his eyes. But, six episodes in, I’ve come to suspect that the show is dead serious about this dude. Rust is a heretic with a heart of gold. He’s our fetish object—the cop who keeps digging when everyone ignores the truth, the action hero who rescues children in the midst of violent chaos, the outsider with painful secrets and harsh truths and nice arms. McConaughey gives an exciting performance (in Grantland, Andy Greenwald aptly called him “a rubber band wrapped tight around a razor blade”), but his rap is premium baloney. And everyone around these cops, male or female, is a dark-drama cliché, from the coked-up dealers and the sinister preachers to that curvy corpse in her antlers. “True Detective” has some tangy dialogue (“You are the Michael Jordan of being a son of a bitch”) and it can whip up an ominous atmosphere, rippling with hints of psychedelia, but these strengths finally dissipate, because it’s so solipsistically focussed on the phony duet.

Meanwhile, Marty’s wife, Maggie—played by Michelle Monaghan, she is the only prominent female character on the show—is an utter nothing-burger, all fuming prettiness with zero insides. Stand her next to any other betrayed wife on television—Mellie, on “Scandal”; or Alicia, on “The Good Wife”; or Cersei, on “Game of Thrones”; or even Claire, on “House of Cards”—and Maggie’s an outline, too. Last week, Maggie finally got her own episode, in which she is interrogated by the cops. She lies to them, with noir composure, as the visuals reveal a predictable twist: Maggie had revenge sex with Rust. That sex is filmed as gasp-worthy, though it lasts thirty seconds. We see Monaghan’s butt, plus the thrusting cheeks of McConaughey. Yet the betrayal has no weight, since the love triangle is missing a side. An earlier sex scene is even more absurd, and features still another slice of strange: a lusty, anal-sex-offering, sext-happy ex-hooker. She seduces Marty with her own philosophical sweet nothings (“There is nothing wrong with the way he made us”), and, since she’s a gorgeous unknown, we get to see her ride Harrelson like a bronco, as ceramic angels and devil dolls look on from the dresser.

I’m certain that, if you’re a fan of the series, this analysis irritates you. It’s no fun to be a killjoy, particularly when people are yelling “Best show ever”; it’s the kind of debate that tends to turn both sides into scolds, each accusing the other of being prudes or suckers. A few months ago, a similar debate erupted about Martin Scorsese’s “The Wolf of Wall Street,” a film that inspired its advocates to rage that those who didn’t “get it” just needed to get laid. There were more nuanced arguments out there, though: in the Times, A. O. Scott argued that, while the film did a fine job sending up the corruption of the grifter Jordan Belfort, there was little distinction, visually, between Belfort’s misogyny and the film’s own display. Cool girl that I am, I didn’t entirely agree: like “True Detective,” “Wolf” unfolds in flashback, through voice-over, but its outrageous images bend and ripple with Belfort’s mania. With the exception of a few shots—like one of a stewardess, whose assault is treated as a joke in a way that made me twitch—the nudity, however nasty, makes sense.

On “True Detective,” however, we’re not watching the distorted testimony of an addict, punctured by flashes of accidental self-revelation. The scenes we see are supposed to be what really happened. And when a mystery show is about disposable female bodies, and the women in it are eye candy, it’s a drag. Whatever the length of the show’s much admired tracking shot (six minutes, uncut!), it feels less hardboiled than softheaded. Which might be O.K. if “True Detective” were dumb fun, but, good God, it’s not: it’s got so much gravitas it could run for President.

It’s possible that my crankiness derives from having watched so many recent, better crime series, telling similar stories, in far more original ways. Most notable were Jane Campion’s soaring “Top of the Lake,” on Sundance, and Allan Cubitt’s nightmare-inducing BBC series “The Fall.” In “Top of the Lake,” Campion jolts the viewer with actual taboo nudity: she films the saggy bodies of middle-aged women, members of a feminist encampment. Then she stitches this subplot, in which she satirizes the cult of self-help victimhood, onto a small-town mystery about sex crimes against teen-age girls, who are filmed with comparative discretion. A moody, pastoral twist on the rape-and-murder genre, Campion’s mini-series torqued viewer expectations, exploring provocative themes about the way that communities agree to treat these crimes as if they were bad dreams. “True Detective”’s hinted-at mystery seems strikingly similar. The difference is that, while “Top of the Lake” is about survivors, “True Detective” is about witnesses. The acts themselves are mere symbols of the universe’s unspeakable horror.

“The Fall” (which is available on Netflix) has even more conventional nudity than “True Detective.” It, too, tells a story about a team of detectives hunting for a rapist-murderer obsessed with symbolism. It features pervy stalker shots, along with sick-making imagery of female corpses, in bondage, photographed as keepsakes. Some critics called the show “misogynistic torture porn”: by turning viewers on, they point out, it takes a rapist’s-eye view. But this imagery has a sharp purpose. The show reveals the murderer immediately, forcing us to see the world through his eyes. Then, episode by episode, it tears that identification apart. Just like Rust Cohle, “The Fall”’s rapist has an elaborate pseudo-intellectual lingo, full of Nietzsche quotes and talk of primal impulses. But an icy female cop, played by Gillian Anderson, sees through him—and, in the finale, she shreds his pretensions with one smart speech. Anderson aside, “The Fall” overflows with complex female characters, and not merely the killer’s victims but their families, the murderer’s wife, his daughter, and his mistress. Beautiful as “The Fall” looks, it’s harder to watch than “True Detective,” because there is a soul inside each body we ogle. When women suffer, their pain isn’t purely decorative.

“True Detective” isn’t over, of course: like any mystery, it can’t be fully judged before the finale—it might yet complete that mystical time loop Rust keeps ranting about. There are hints of the supernatural, with endless references to the “Yellow King” and the “Lost City of Carcosa”: maybe the show will reveal that it was Cthulhu all along, in the library, with the candlestick. But for now I’m an unbeliever. Bring me some unpretentious pulp, like Cinemax’s “Banshee,” or an intelligent thriller, like FX’s “The Americans,” which is beginning its second season later this month, and actually does have fresh things to say about sex, sin, and the existential slipperiness of human identity. Or, to quote Nietzsche: “Is life not a hundred times too short for us—to bore ourselves?”

[wizzard890]

Top three fictional series/ settings/ properties which intrigue you enough to go "huh, neat!" when you see stuff from it but not enough to actually get into it yourself for whatever reason

Netflix's Castlevania: by all rights, this show should be my catnip. I love goth shit, and vampires, and blond weirdos who make their family trauma everyone else's problem. It looks like a lot of fun! But something about the art really puts me off? It's too clean, too generated, it lacks texture and personality. Not a single frame lives up to the teaser poster, and when it comes to vampire media, I need the aesthetic to feel like I could sink my hands into it. Castlevania just misses that mark for me.

Warhammer 40k - Inquisitor: listen, I don't know what to tell you. I love hugely complex, sprawling, thematically dense tabletop games, and everything about the 40k Inquisitor setting whips absolute ass. Labyrinths beneath the surface of Mars? A heretical machine cult? A god emperor powered by forsaken children? Just great, all of it, no notes. Well, okay one note, one large note, and that is that for the setting to hold together thematically, the setting has to be correct. And I don’t know if marinating my brain in “total war and the hard authoritarian hand of the One Government actually and literally keeps humanity from the unending horror of chaos demons” is good for my monkey id. 

Berserk: speaking of unfriendly blond hotties out to ruin your life, I think I was probably born to imprint on this wretched bitch as the sparks fly upwards.

I've always always known that Griffith was My kind of character, and that's almost pulled me into the grand project of Berserk many times, but the scope and frankly its bleak reputation have kept me from ever taking the plunge.

[daenystheedreamer]

so in the context of that au what is theons relationship with ned and cat

ok it is complex.... theyre his legal foster parents and they consider him a son but but its distinctly different from the way they consider their biokids their children. and theon was like 12-ish when he got taken in so he already had a solid foundation of personhood, he has a 'real' family (who he has a horrible insane relationship with but theyre still his family!) and his 'im a burden' family that he knows took him in more because theyre kind and good people than because they love him specifically. he grew up feeling like a stray dog that they took in! yes they love him but in a pitiful almost dehumanising way, as if he is a concept rather than a human if that makes sense. because obviously when youre normal people and you wind up with a weirdo abused mafia brat with very obvious gender and sexuality problems tee-em youre gonna treat them with kid gloves like theyre glass like theyre a wounded animal!! idk if this is making sense.

PLUS this is throbb so theon+robb had a very weird brotherly/friendly/boyfriendly relationship which affected nedcat's idea of theon and theon's idea of family. theon more considered nedcat as "my friend robb's parents who i freeload with" as opposed to "my own legal parents who i live with as their son". i think ned and cat considered theon a brother to robb(+ the kids in general) more than a son of them if that makes sense, he's family in a very complicated way. and then here are these boys who THEY see as brothers who are clearly engaging in behaviour that is not brotherly (getting high and jerking each other off) which makes them go all pursed lipped which makes theon think they hate him and think that he's an outsider corrupting their perfect golden boy son

anyway specifically their relationship as adults... when theon turned 18 he was like Ok i will stop being your fucking burden you have to clothe and wash and theyre like cmon theon dont think that we love you. here let us show you that by clothing you and washing you but not hugging you and also pretty obviously disapproving of your relationship with robb. after theon reemerges from his horrible terrible ramsay year from hell they don't really know how to talk to each other. after ramsay, robb and theon sort of became essentially a couple (this post is already long enough i CANNOT go into my insane idea of their relationship basically its complicated) and now ned and cat have to reckon with the fact that throbb isnt just teenage sexual experimentation and it's like a real thing they cant just ignore. also they pay for his therapy but never have conversations with him about his problems(not that theon is like TRYING to or anything lol. he is actively working against it but yknow. complicated).

[psychelis-new]

Hi lys, how are you?

angel, melody, silk, rose, film, gorgeous, diamond, valentine, parchment, oasis, sweater.

Hope you're doing great!

Hey :) I had a bunch of complex days (let's say) since leo moon but it seems I'm starting to do better now. Thank you for asking! How are you? Everything's good?

angel; is there anyone you’d do anything for? Right now I'm trying to do anything for me. I know it may sound selfish, but it's not: it's about giving me my self worth back, which is the same worth of anyone else on this planet. I am trying to focus more on how I can take care of myself and how I can make myself happy: if I am not doing this, who will? I cannot depend on others, it would be so wrong. I wanna do anything I can especially for my inner child: they deserve it so much. They deserve to experience real magic for once.

melody; favorite artists? It depends on the type of art. For example I can mention Aivazovky in painting, Erwitt in photography, maybe Nolan as a film director and Idk, there are so many good inspiring artists! It's hard to mention even just a bunch (I cannot do this in music and writing)

silk; what outfit makes you feel confident? Any type of outfit, it depends on my mood. I more commonly wear comfy clothes and shoes but I also like to occasionally dress up. It really depends on how I feel

rose; favorite flower? I'd say white flowers, especially white tulips but tbh I just saw pink roses so... yeah, those too

film; favorite movie/tv show? Since I don't know which movie to choose among my favs, I'm gonna mention one I watched recently: "When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit" and it's basically about children and the shoah (it's based on a book, js).

gorgeous; what do you like in a person? Generally their heart, their mind, their passion/drive to reach their goals, seeing them experiencing what they like and makes them happy, their will to make themselves better. Everyone of us is made of different aspects/layers anyway and I think, each one of us, has at least a part of those layers that is so interesting and loving. And I like that.

diamond; favorite color? Uh.... Black and white? Grey? Blue, purple... Occasionally green. I tend to be attracted by all of these but more often to black, grey and white (especially if it's clothes/items. I rarely get anything red, pink or yellow... despite I have)

valentine; best gift you’ve ever received? This weirdo guy in the bnw pic here on the left. Actually I made the final choice (there were 3 puppies) but he was/is/will be still the best gift I ever received by all means. Thanks to my family, especially my granny.

BUT if we wanna joke a bit more around the answer to this question and talk about the unexpected (never thought I was gonna say what I'm going to say here but yeah, let life surprise you ig): these funny slippers on the right, which Idk what animals are, make a very terrible squishy sound at any step I take but I can't use to knock on doors (long story...), and make me walk about like Krusty the Clown. But are SO warm and I am appreciating them sm these days in which my feet are SO cold. Thanks brother. To be fair, there was another part of the gift (Xmas 2023) which is a Bambi wool-filled sweater that makes me look like a green dwarf with Bambi's ears when I wear it (it has a hood and it's like... oversized?), but that makes for another story.

parchment; favorite book? I haven't been reading for long now and I feel like I may always suggest the same old ones (the few titles I can remember, moreover) so... Okay, let's mention one: "The impossible lives of Greta Wells" by A. S. Greer. And "Silence: in the age of noise" by E. Kagge (so very inspiring and suggested)

oasis; dream destination? Atm, among the many other destinations I'd like to reach, I want to go see the Northern Lights in Iceland (not like right now cause it's still early but yeah...)

sweater; do you prefer loose or baggy clothes? And non-English native speaker me thought they were synonyms lol anyway I tend to prefer and wear loose/comfy clothes. I had my baggy-style period but it apparently ended long ago. Except for the Bambi-sweater. That is like... more than baggy I guess. But yeah.

Thanks a lot for sending, have a great day/night and take care<3

[talenlee]

The Man In The Memer

Hmm, is that a Michael Jackson reference too spicy to use. Not sure. Well, I’m sure my better judgment will kick in before I post this. Or maybe it won’t, because what I want to talk to about today is the idea of autoconnoisseurship.

Look you get this or you get me venting anxiety about realising that not only am I not connected to the lives of my students, but that disconnect is going to only ever get wider. My brief window of time of teaching people who share the same brainworms with me is a fleeting memory of the before lockdowns.

What a word. Look at it. It gets all French in the middle there. Double ses and suchlike. I bet if you showed me a noisseur in a D&D rulebook I’d be like oh yeah of course it’s like a lance. It’s a long word, and it’s a long word made up of other words bolted together. It’s such a wonderfully complex word, like other ones I’ve introduced you to. Do you remember autoethnography? What about hyperintertextuality? It’s a word like that, and it’s a word I get from an author called Estelle Barrett, in the book Practice as Research. Great book, love it, reading it over and over again to try and make sure I understand it hasn’t scrampled my prains or anything.

Connoisseurship is the idea of being an expert, competent, critical judge of something, and particularly, in the context of that thing’s subtle distinctions. A connoisseur isn’t a fan; they’re someone who can recognise all the distinct and varied ways in elements within the space of interest are similar and different. The connoisseur appreciates deteails, appreciates nuance. The connoisseur is by practice, an expert, because without expertise, there can be no appreciative comparison. To be a connoisseur is to have context, and appreciate context, and be able to share that context.

Connoisseurship or as the ‘pronounce it aloud’ button on merriam webster asserts, connor sir ship, is therefore the practice of being a conoisseur. It’s about putting in work to understand, catalogue and recognise these nuances and their distinctions. And autoconnoisseurship is about being able to do that in the context of your own work. To look at your own work as if it is worth being catalogued, sorted, scrutinised, recognised and considered.

Barrett, by the way, is building on ideas from Michel Foucault, notorious baldy and prison-mentioner, so this isn’t like weirdo outsider ideas.

This is hard. Connoisseurship means positioning yourself as an expert, and one capable of recognising distinctions between distinct elements. When examining one’s own work, I feel like there’s a natural flexibility. If someone compares one of my games, for example, to another, similar game, I can feel the need, for the sake of conversation, to concur, even if another person bringing up another wildly different comparison might seem equally valid. Setting aside the social grace and the natural imposition of capitalism in here (if I didn’t have to convince people to pay money for my games, would I still feel the need to couch my games in terms of appealing to people?), there’s a question about what I really mean in terms of expertise. What’s nailed down about these things, how much room and flex is there in their discussion?

I am a little sensitive about my OCs and the characters I write in fiction, for example; I can see very clear delineating lines, different kinds of scenes and narratives into which they fit, the assumptions of their world. Rafe and Tideward are both orphaned children of royal parentage with a bad dad and a gift for violence, but one of them can make his problems go away by finding the right wall to burst through and the other sulks a lot. I am thrilled by knowing from my friends that Talen Boy is its own archetype, almost its own gender (indeed, having been told that ‘this girl is a Talen boy’ at least once), but that always comes with the anxiety that I am boring my friends, that I am sharing with them creative stuff that they think could be better, more or original, that this character archetype they’ve seen before is something depriving them of something new.

In the context of connnoisseurship, though, there is an element for the connoisseur that I think this blog has built in me over time; that there is, along with the assumption of expertise, the right to be heard. A connoisseur presents expertise and that expertise is itself worthwhile in its presentation. Being interested in presenting this information is reason enough to present it. By having this expertise, I demand the elevation of the subject in which I am expert.

Which is pretty cool.

That’s not all there is to it, though. There’s a little more, which is an idea from Melissa Febos (Associate Professor at the University of Iowa), of the idea of how this autoconnoisseurship imposes on ourselves a preoccupation with your perceptions of others’ perceptions. Does this read right? Is this joke tasteful? Am I making something that presents an idea I’ve heard because it’s interesting, or am I mining others’ grief for sport? Am I being kickass, or just an ass, or am I showing my ass?

There’s this phrase Febos uses that I think about a lot, which is you have to write for the reader of best faith.

The internet has geared me to be generally confrontational over the past oh god thirty years I’ve been using it. I know I’ve gotten better about that, because in my twenties I was ferocious about looking for fights. But now I think there’s a natural impulse to pre-emptively defend ideas from people who are looking for ways to criticse it. The piss on the poor website effect.

Exile the thoughts of the person who is looking to invalidate the art you are making or it will be a brittle, sad version of what you would have done if you had imagined the loving reader who is grateful and interested in what it is you are actually trying to communicate.

(Paraphrasing Febos).

Oh and part of why I wrote this was to share this idea but also to get used to writing connoisseurship a lot by hand without just googling it and copy-pasting.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!