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puckinghischier · 1 month ago

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I can just imagine doing a “soft launch” with Nico and him not understanding the concept of it and posting just a picture that’s very much you and the teams gc blowing up giving him shit

when you opened the burst of notifications suddenly flooding your phone, you’re confused. sure, you had just posted a soft launch of nico on your account, but you didn’t expect this kind of reaction to it, most of your close friends and family already knowing about him.

when you open the instagram app, though, you see none other than a post from your oh so sweet boyfriend, your smiling face next to his looking right back at you. his comments are full of fans talking back and forth about who you are and where you came from. you noticed the sudden influx of followers to your account, quickly switching your profile to private before any more make their way through.

the two of you had discussed doing a soft launch last night, agreeing that now is the time to do it, seeing as you’re getting pretty serious. you thought nico understood the concept, but bless his heart, he didn’t.

he had posted one of the most recent pictures the two of you had taken together. you were standing nestled close to him in front of the large tree at rockefeller center just across the bridge, big, loving smiles on both of your faces. the icing on the cake, though? he tagged you in the picture.

you noticed a few of his teammates in the comments, cheering the new relationship on and congratulating him for making it social media official.

ones such as timo, jack, and jesper, however, were poking fun at him. the three of them were the first of nico’s teammates you ever met, so you feel a bit closer to them than some of the others. you had actually crashed their lunch yesterday, joining the four hockey players for a quick cafe meal in-between practices.

they were included in your conversation, asking them their opinion and if it was too soon. when they all gave you their approval you continued the conversation with nico later that night, setting the plan into motion.

jack’s comment read “wow cap, this launch was about as soft as a rock,” while timo’s was along the lines of “soft on the ice, but not on the launches.”

jesper’s was a bit more to the point, simply stating “you’re not supposed to tag her, dumbass.”

before you could read any further comments, your screen was taken over by an incoming call from none other than your new instagram official boyfriend.

“sweetheart, i fucked up. i’m so sorry. i should have asked what you meant last night, but i thought we were just posting about each other. i had no clue it was supposed to be secretive and clever. you should have just told me what to post, now-“

“nico, neeks, calm down. take a breath, it’s fine,” you laugh at his rambles, interrupting his spiral that started the second you answered the phone, not even getting to say hello.

“you’re…not mad?” he stops mid-sentence, confused at your lack of fury at his mistake.

“no, i’m not mad. even if it did cause my phone to nearly crash because of how many notifications were coming through, it was cute,” you smile through your sentence, even though he can’t see you.

“oh…well….i guess i didn’t need to leave practice early then, huh?” he tells you, right as you hear the door open to your apartment, nico standing there with the key you gave him in hand.

you hang up your phone, standing from your couch and walking over towards him.

“why in the world would you leave practice early for something as silly as this?” you stand with your hands on your hips, looking at him disapprovingly.

he doesn’t meet your eye, seeming bashful all of a sudden. “well…if you were going to yell at me i would rather have had you do it in person, that way i could kiss you and tell you i loved you in person instead of over the phone,” he tells you honestly, looking like a little boy getting scolded by his parents.

rolling your eyes at him, you walk over and run your hands through his hair, letting your hands stop at the nape of his neck, arms resting on his shoulders as he looks down at you.

“well i’m not mad, but you can still kiss me and tell me you love me, since the entire state of new jersey—well, the united states and most of switzerland, probably—knows now,” you poke fun at him, scratching the bottom of his scalp while his arms come to circle around your waist.

smirking down at you, he meets your lips in a sweet kiss, barely able to savor it before his phone starts buzzing like crazy in his pocket, distracting both of you.

“now listen, i know i don’t have that many followers to freak out about my new hockey star boyfriend, so who’s blowing your phone up?” you pull back from the kiss, looking down at where his phone rests in the pocket of his sweats.

he pulls the device out, bringing it over so both of you can look at it. you see the messages continue to come through, the same name being seen on all of them: “the handsome devils”.

“that’s your groupchat name? the handsome devils? how original” you laugh at the team’s lack of creativity.

“it was jack’s idea,” nico shrugs, the explanation making perfect sense.

you can hardly read the messages because they’re coming in so fast, but you catch a few.

“nico, do we need to host an instagram class in lieu of practice one day?” dougie offers his admin skills to his captain.

“cap, even i know that soft launch means partial, not a full face shot,” followed by “i didn’t mean that the way that sounded, jack, don’t laugh,” from curtis, and then a “HAHAHA” from jack.

“does this mean i have to start calling her mom?” from luke was the last one you saw before looking up at nico, his furrowed brow showing his annoyance with his teammates.

you reach up to smooth the wrinkle between his full brows, leading him to look up at you instead of his phone.

“nico, they’re just poking fun. they all mean well,” you assure him, taking the still buzzing phone from his hands.

he pouts at you anyways, huffing out a sigh. “i just…felt really bad about all of this and they were all laughing at me when i was rushing out of the locker room, worried you were about to break up with me.”

you can’t help but let out your own laugh, finding it comical he actually thinks you would break up with him. his pout deepens at your laugh, crossing his arms and tucking into himself, yet again looking like a child.

“nico, i’m sorry, i’m not laughing at you, it’s just funny you think i’d break up with you over being too excited to tell people we’re dating and posting one of my favorite pictures of us on your very public instagram,” you assure him, untucking his arms from themselves and placing them back around your waist.

he lets himself relax a bit, getting comfortable in his hold on you again. “it is a really good picture of us, isn’t it?” he asks, looking down at you.

you nod your head yes, humming out a “mhmmm” before standing on your tip toes and pressing a kiss to his nose.

“now, why don’t we go make ourselves comfortable on the couch, order food, and think of snarky comebacks to send to your teammates for making fun of you?” you suggest, causing his face to light up.

“i knew i loved you for a reason,” he says enthusiastically, taking your arm and dragging you over towards the couch.

#i thought this was very silly and a fun prompt #i hope you enjoy hehe #nico hischier #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier blurb #nico hischier fanfic #nico hischier imagine #nico hischier one shot #nico hischier x y/n #nico hischier x you #hockey #nhl #new jersey devils

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mostlysignssomeportents · 10 months ago

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Podcasting “Capitalists Hate Capitalism”

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

This week on my podcast, I read "Capitalists Hate Capitalism," my latest column for Locus Magazine:

https://locusmag.com/2024/03/cory-doctorow-capitalists-hate-capitalism/

What do I mean by "capitalists hate capitalism?" It all comes down to the difference between "profits" and "rents." A capitalist takes capital (money, or the things you can buy with it) and combines it with employees' labor, and generates profits (the capitalist's share) and wages (the workers' share).

Rents, meanwhile, come from owning an asset that capitalists need to generate profits. For example, a landlord who rents a storefront to a coffee shop extracts rent from the capitalist who owns the coffee shop. Meanwhile, the capitalist who owns the cafe extracts profits from the baristas' labor.

Capitalists' founding philosophers like Adam Smith hated rents. Worse: rents were the most important source of income at the time of capitalism's founding. Feudal lords owned great swathes of land, and there were armies of serfs who were bound to that land – it was illegal for them to leave it. The serfs owed rent to lords, and so they worked the land in order grow crops and raise livestock that they handed over the to lord as rent for the land they weren't allowed to leave.

Capitalists, meanwhile, wanted to turn that land into grazing territory for sheep as a source of wool for the "dark, Satanic mills" of the industrial revolution. They wanted the serfs to be kicked off their land so that they would become "free labor" that could be hired to work in those factories.

For the founders of capitalism, a "free market" wasn't free from regulation, it was free from rents, and "free labor" came from workers who were free to leave the estates where they were born – but also free to starve unless they took a job with the capitalists.

For capitalism's philosophers, free markets and free labor weren't just a source of profits, they were also a source of virtue. Capitalists – unlike lords – had to worry about competition from one another. They had to make better goods at lower prices, lest their customers take their business elsewhere; and they had to offer higher pay and better conditions, lest their "free labor" take a job elsewhere.

This means that capitalists are haunted by the fear of losing everything, and that fear acts as a goad, driving them to find ways to make everything better for everyone: better, cheaper products that benefit shoppers; and better-paid, safer jobs that benefit workers. For Smith, capitalism is alchemy, a philosopher's stone that transforms the base metal of greed into the gold of public spiritedness.

By contrast, rentiers are insulated from competition. Their workers are bound to the land, and must toil to pay the rent no matter whether they are treated well or abused. The rent rolls in reliably, without the lord having to invest in new, better ways to bring in the harvest. It's a good life (for the lord).

Think of that coffee-shop again: if a better cafe opens across the street, the owner can lose it all, as their customers and workers switch allegiance. But for the landlord, the failure of his capitalist tenant is a feature, not a bug. Once the cafe goes bust, the landlord gets a newly vacant storefront on the same block as the hot new coffee shop that can be rented out at even higher rates to another capitalist who tries his luck.

The industrial revolution wasn't just the triumph of automation over craft processes, nor the triumph of factory owners over weavers. It was also the triumph of profits over rents. The transformation of hereditary estates worked by serfs into part of the supply chain for textile mills was attended by – and contributed to – the political ascendancy of capitalists over rentiers.

Now, obviously, capitalism didn't end rents – just as feudalism didn't require the total absence of profits. Under feudalism, capitalists still extracted profits from capital and labor; and under capitalism, rentiers still extracted rents from assets that capitalists and workers paid them to use.

The difference comes in the way that conflicts between profits and rents were resolved. Feudalism is a system where rents triumph over profits, and capitalism is a system where profits triumph over rents.

It's conflict that tells you what really matters. You love your family, but they drive you crazy. If you side with your family over your friends – even when your friends might be right and your family's probably wrong – then you value your family more than your friends. That doesn't mean you don't value your friends – it means that you value them less than your family.

Conflict is a reliable way to know whether or not you're a leftist. As Steven Brust says, the way to distinguish a leftist is to ask "What's more important, human rights, or property rights?" If you answer "Property rights are human right," you're not a leftist. Leftists don't necessarily oppose all property rights – they just think they're less important than human rights.

Think of conflicts between property rights and human rights: the grocer who deliberately renders leftover food inedible before putting it in the dumpster to ensure that hungry people can't eat it, or the landlord who keeps an apartment empty while a homeless person freezes to death on its doorstep. You don't have to say "No one can own food or a home" to say, "in these cases, property rights are interfering with human rights, so they should be overridden." For leftists property rights can be a means to human rights (like revolutionary land reformers who give peasants title to the lands they work), but where property rights interfere with human rights, they are set aside.

In his 2023 book Technofeudalism, Yanis Varoufakis claims that capitalism has given way to a new feudalism – that capitalism was a transitional phase between feudalism…and feudalism:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

Varoufakis's point isn't that capitalists have gone extinct. Rather, it's that today, conflicts between capital and assets – between rents and profits – reliably end with a victory of rent over profit.

Think of Amazon: the "everything store" appears to be a vast bazaar, a flea-market whose stalls are all operated by independent capitalists who decide what to sell, how to price it, and then compete to tempt shoppers. In reality, though, the whole system is owned by a single feudalist, who extracts 51% from every dollar those merchants take in, and decides who can sell, and what they can sell, and at what price, and whether anyone can even see it:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/01/managerial-discretion/#junk-fees

Or consider the patent trolls of the Eastern District of Texas. These "companies" are invisible and produce nothing. They consist solely of a serviced mailbox in a dusty, uninhabited office-building, and an overbroad patent (say, a patent on "tapping on a screen with your finger") issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office. These companies extract hundreds of millions of dollars from Apple, Google, Samsung for violating these patents. In other words, the government steps in and takes vast profits generated through productive activity by companies that make phones, and turns that money over as rent paid to unproductive companies whose sole "product" is lawsuits. It's the triumph of rent over profit.

Capitalists hate capitalism. All capitalists would rather extract rents than profits, because rents are insulated from competition. The merchants who sell on Jeff Bezos's Amazon (or open a cafe in a landlord's storefront, or license a foolish smartphone patent) bear all the risk. The landlords – of Amazon, the storefront, or the patent – get paid whether or not that risk pays off.

This is why Google, Apple and Samsung also have vast digital estates that they rent out to capitalists – everything from app stores to patent portfolios. They would much rather be in the business of renting things out to capitalists than competing with capitalists.

Hence that famous Adam Smith quote: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices." This is literally what Google and Meta do:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

And it's what Apple and Google do:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/27/23934961/google-antitrust-trial-defaults-search-deal-26-3-billion

Why compete with one another when you can collude, like feudal lords with adjacent estates who trust one another to return any serf they catch trying to sneak away in the dead of night?

Because of course, it's not just "free markets" that have been captured by rents ("Competition is for losers" -P. Thiel) – it's also "free labor." For years, the largest tech and entertainment companies in America illegally colluded on a "no poach" agreement not to hire one-anothers' employees:

https://techcrunch.com/2015/09/03/apple-google-other-silicon-valley-tech-giants-ordered-to-pay-415m-in-no-poaching-suit/

These companies were bitter competitors – as were these sectors. Even as Big Content was lobbying for farcical copyright law expansions and vowing to capture Big Tech, all these companies on both sides were able to set aside their differences and collude to bind their free workers to their estates and end the "wasteful competition" to secure their labor.

Of course, this is even more pronounced at the bottom of the labor market, where noncompete "agreements" are the norm. The median American worker bound by a noncompete is a fast-food worker whose employer can wield the power of the state to prevent that worker from leaving behind the Wendy's cash-register to make $0.25/hour more at the McDonald's fry trap across the street:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#neofeudal

Employers defend this as necessary to secure their investment in training their workers and to ensure the integrity of their trade secrets. But why should their investments be protected? Capitalism is about risk, and the fear that accompanies risk – fear that drives capitalists to innovate, which creates the public benefit that is the moral justification for capitalism.

Capitalists hate capitalism. They don't want free labor – they want labor bound to the land. Capitalists benefit from free labor: if you have a better company, you can tempt away the best workers and cause your inferior rival to fail. But feudalists benefit from un-free labor, from tricks like "bondage fees" that force workers to pay in order to quit their jobs:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/21/bondage-fees/#doorman-building

Companies like Petsmart use "training repayment agreement provisions" (TRAPs) to keep low-waged workers from leaving for better employers. Petsmart says it costs $5,500 to train a pet-groomer, and if that worker is fired, laid off, or quits less than two years, they have to pay that amount to Petsmart:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

Now, Petsmart is full of shit here. The "four-week training course" Petsmart claims is worth $5,500 actually only lasts for three weeks. What's more, the "training" consists of sweeping the floor and doing other low-level chores for three weeks, without pay.

But even if Petsmart were to give $5,500 worth of training to every pet-groomer, this would still be bullshit. Why should the worker bear the risk of Petsmart making a bad investment in their training? Under capitalism, risks justify rewards. Petsmart's argument for charging $50 to groom your dog and paying the groomer $15 for the job is that they took $35 worth of risk. But some of that risk is being borne by the worker – they're the ones footing the bill for the training.

For Petsmart – as for all feudalists – a worker (with all the attendant risks) can be turned into an asset, something that isn't subject to competition. Petsmart doesn't have to retain workers through superior pay and conditions – they can use the state's contract-enforcement mechanism instead.

Capitalists hate capitalism, but they love feudalism. Sure, they dress this up by claiming that governmental de-risking spurs investment: "Who would pay to train a pet-groomer if that worker could walk out the next day and shave dogs for some competing shop?"

But this is obvious nonsense. Think of Silicon Valley: high tech is the most "IP-intensive" of all industries, the sector that has had to compete most fiercely for skilled labor. And yet, Silicon Valley is in California, where noncompetes are illegal. Every single successful Silicon Valley company has thrived in an environment in which their skilled workers can walk out the door at any time and take a job with a rival company.

There's no indication that the risk of free labor prevents investment. Think of AI, the biggest investment bubble in human history. All the major AI companies are in jurisdictions where noncompetes are illegal. Anthropic – OpenAI's most serious competitor – was founded by a sister/brother team who quit senior roles at OpenAI and founded a direct competitor. No one can claim with a straight face that OpenAI is now unable to raise capital on favorable terms.

What's more, when OpenAI founder Sam Altman was forced out by his board, Microsoft offered to hire him – and 700 other OpenAI personnel – to found an OpenAI competitor. When Altman returned to the company, Microsoft invested more money in OpenAI, despite their intimate understanding that anyone could hire away the company's founder and all of its top technical staff at any time.

The idea that the departure of the Burger King trade secrets locked up in its workers' heads constitute more of a risk to the ability to operate a hamburger restaurant than the departure of the entire technical staff of OpenAI is obvious nonsense. Noncompetes aren't a way to make it possible to run a business – they're a way to make it easy to run a business, by eliminating competition and pushing the risk onto employees.

Because capitalists hate capitalism. And who can blame them? Who wouldn't prefer a life with less risk to one where you have to constantly look over your shoulder for competitors who've found a way to make a superior offer to your customers and workers?

This is why businesses are so excited about securing "IP" – that is, a government-backed right to control your workers, customers, competitors or critics:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

The argument for every IP right expansion is the same: "Who would invest in creating something new without the assurance that someone else wouldn’t copy and improve on it and put them out of business?"

That was the argument raised five years ago, during the (mercifully brief) mania for genre writers seeking trademarks on common tropes. There was the romance writer who got a trademark on the word "cocky" in book titles:

https://www.theverge.com/2018/7/16/17566276/cockygate-amazon-kindle-unlimited-algorithm-self-published-romance-novel-cabal

And the fantasy writer who wanted a trademark on "dragon slayer" in fantasy novel titles:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/06/14/son-of-cocky-a-writer-is-trying-to-trademark-dragon-slayer-for-fantasy-novels/

Who subsequently sought a trademark on any book cover featuring a person holding a weapon:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/07/19/trademark-troll-who-claims-to-own-dragon-slayer-now-wants-exclusive-rights-to-book-covers-where-someone-is-holding-a-weapon/

For these would-be rentiers, the logic was the same: "Why would I write a book about a dragon-slayer if I could lose readers to someone else who writes a book about dragon-slayers?"

In these cases, the USPTO denied or rescinded its trademarks. Profits triumphed over rents. But increasingly, rents are triumphing over profits, and rent-extraction is celebrated as "smart business," while profits are for suckers, only slightly preferable to "wages" (the worst way to get paid under both capitalism and feudalism).

That's what's behind all the talk about "passive income" – that's just a euphemism for "rent." It's what Douglas Rushkoff is referring to in Survival of the Richest when he talks about the wealthy wanting to "go meta":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/13/collapse-porn/#collapse-porn

Don't drive a cab – go meta and buy a medallion. Don't buy a medallion, go meta and found Uber. Don't found Uber, go meta and invest in Uber. Don't invest in Uber, go meta and buy options on Uber stock. Don't buy Uber stock options, go meta and buy derivatives of options on Uber stock.

"Going meta" means distancing yourself from capitalism – from income derived from profits, from competition, from risk – and cozying up to feudalism.

Capitalists have always hated capitalism. The owners of the dark Satanic mills wanted peasants turned off the land and converted into "free labor" – but they also kidnapped Napoleonic war-orphans and indentured them to ten-year terms of service, which was all you could get out of a child's body before it was ruined for further work:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/26/enochs-hammer/#thats-fronkonsteen

When Varoufakis says we've entered a new feudal age, he doesn't mean that we've abolished capitalism. He means that – for the first time in centuries – when rents go to war against profits – the rents almost always emerge victorious.

Here's the podcast episode:

https://craphound.com/news/2024/04/14/capitalists-hate-capitalism/

Here's a direct link to the MP3 (hosting courtesy of the Internet Archive; they'll host your stuff for free, forever):

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_465/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_465_-_Capitalists_Hate_Capitalism.mp3

And here's the RSS feed for my podcast:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/18/in-extremis-veritas/#the-winnah

#pluralistic #technofeudalism #yanis varoufakis #rents #profits #economics #podcasts #locus magazine #mp3s

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ohimsummer · 1 year ago

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DARK RED ft. BULLY!SATOSUGU

— minors dni, angst w/comfort, mostly bully!satoru x reader, ft. bully! suguru, one implication of male masturbation, some fluff, also one (1) kiss

summary; bully! satoru manages to seriously upset you, and now he’s scrambling to give you a genuine apology

wc 2.8k

"I thought love was supposed to be easy."

Geto pauses mid-sip. "Oh, is that what you're calling this?"

Satoru leans further into his hand. His cheek smushes against his palm, muffling his grumbles. "Duh. What else would it be?"

"You being a dumbass."

Gleaming, white hair sways over Satoru's forehead, brushes his skin. "She wasn't supposed to react like that." You don't usually react like that, he thinks.

He toys with you all the time. The constant teasing and insults towards you is a regular occurrence, as much as you seem to hate it, but you always end up angrily leaving Gojo in the dust, and then the cycle repeats the next day. Only it was different last time; they’re your usual cries and shouts, but it’s a different type of outburst. Real tears in your eyes, your choked words of 'you suck!' and 'why can't you ever take anything seriously for once?' piercing through Gojo's heart and leaving a still-bleeding wound. They don't have your usual, pissed-off bite to them, but instead sound miserable. Heartbroken and disappointed, like the victim of a betrayal. Your expression shriveled any incoming words up in Satoru's throat, leaving him wide-eyed and dumbfounded as he watched you messily wipe away flowing tears and shove past him. That was last Wednesday, and he hasn't seen you since, not a glimpse or even a whiff of you on campus. It's like you never attended this college to begin with.

Satoru looks at his text messages with you, the last one being a dismal 'princess?' that you hadn't even read. He'd thought about threatening to leak one of the many sex tapes he had of you in his phone, but usually those coercions were bluffs, as Gojo nor Geto would dare leak their precious videos of you like that to anyone else. Besides, somehow forcing you into showing yourself made Satoru's stomach queasy. Like he'd vomit up his own heart.

"There."

He looks up at the sound of Geto's voice, following his pointed finger to the drink machine in the cafeteria. After loitering around for 2 hours, you'd finally shown up, alone and looking a little worse for wear. Even from a distance, Satoru can spot the dark circles under your eyes.

You stand idly in line, awaiting your turn to fill your cup. Eyes flitting from person to person, looking out for a fray of white strands or dark hair. It's hard to discern when the cafeteria is so busy at this hour, though you're not too concerned. Gojo and Geto don't usually frequent the cafe, not unless they're here to cause trouble. And you've been avoiding Satoru for about a week now with no complaints from either of them, so you're hoping you can get in and out without being spotted.

It’s an easy walk out of the cafeteria building, and you’re on your way back to your dorm when a familiar nickname stops you in your tracks. "Hey, princess!"

Fight or flight kicks in, and unfortunately your feet cement to the ground. His presence grows stronger as he draws near, until you can sense Gojo right behind you.

"Been avoiding me, Y/N?"

It feels off. He never really calls you by your actual name. "Why do you care?"

A few seconds of silence pass. Then, "Guess I missed my pretty girl is all."

Your heart aches for a second, before you scoff. "Sure you did. What, it's not the same making some other girl cry?"

Gojo doesn't answer, and you finally force your legs to pick up, heaving yourself towards your destination.

"Sorry."

Aaand, they're stuck again. Blinking, your head eases to the side, catching sight of Gojo in the corner of your vision. He looks awkward, staring at you with hands in his pockets and scuffing the ground as he kicks at the concrete. A knot forms in your stomach, hearing him utter an apology without his usual sarcasm or malice. It almost makes you want to talk things over, until the pain of your previous encounter comes flooding back, and you leave him standing there by himself. Rejected.

Day turns to darkness, and Satoru is stuck with another night of humping his fist like a desperate virgin. Suguru’s out, no telling where, leaving him alone with regretful thoughts to torment him. The next day passes. Then two. Then three. Satoru feels like he's going insane, and it's not just because he misses fucking you on the daily. He never realized just how much of a constant you were in his life until suddenly you weren't. Fuck. He groans into his pillow.

"Maybe give her a non-half-baked apology, like a normal person.," Geto complains. "And stop making so much noise, you're distracting."

"Fuck off."

"Fine, she can stay mad at you forever for all I care. You're the one who can't get in her pussy, not me."

Satoru jolts up, jaw falling slack as he glares at who was supposed to be his best friend. "Wha–, you're still fucking her? I just saw her for the first time again like three days ago!"

A smile stretches across Geto’s face. "Do you think our darling is stupid? Why would I get punished for your wrong-doings, she knows I’d fuck her up for that. "

Gojo flops face-down back onto the bed. "Not fair. We should be suffering together."

"Hell no, this is a personal problem between you and Y/N."

He groans again, legs kicking in the air. "Suguruuu, what do I do?"

"...Give her a genuine apology? I coulda sworn I just said that.”

"I already said sorry!"

"Genuine, I said. Not lazy. Give her something she likes."

Satoru turns slightly, brows furrowed. "What, like flowers? I don't know her favorites."

"Sunflowers."

Gojo pauses, directing a curious stink-eye towards Suguru. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I asked?"

Satoru rests a cheek against his arm, thoughts wandering off as he thinks of all the things he knows about you. Small things he's noticed. Like how you wear necklaces more often than any other jewelry, what certain colors catch your eye, things you've mentioned in passing when arguing with him. And now he does remember offering you a random weed he plucked from the ground as a joke, and you muttering 'what the fuck? for future reference, i like sunflowers’ before walking away from him.

"Suguru!," the mentioned man jolts at the sudden bellow of his name. "I'm making Y/N a bouquet!"

"Right." Geto rolls his eyes. "Do you even know how to do that?"

"Do you?"

"Not really–“

"Excellent, cancel your plans tomorrow, we're going out to get flowers!"

Suguru sighs. "Fine."

Both men, well Satoru, and a very grumpy Suguru after being shaken to consciousness, get up bright and early the next Saturday morning in search of a florist.

"Are these vibrant enough, ya think?" Satoru questions Geto, rubbing a hand over his own chin in contemplation. These flowers needed to be perfect, he wanted only the best for his ba–, you.

"These for someone special?," the lady behind the booth inquires. She smiles politely as she admires the golden petals. "A girlfriend, or wife, perhaps?"

"Uh–“

"Wife.," Satoru cuts Geto off. "So yes, very special, indeed."

He narrows his eyes at Suguru, who poorly muffles a chuckle behind his hand. "What?"

"Nothing. Didn't know you were married, is all."

Satoru shrugs, turning to examine the sunflowers again. "Hmph. That just shows you know nothing about me."

“I know you’re a jackass.”

“Anyway,” Gojo brushes him off. “I think these look terrific, perfect for my girl. I’ll take them all!”

Silence passes. The florist’s lids flutter in astonishment. “All of them?”

“Yep! This bouquet needs to be huge!”

Suguru places a hand on his shoulder. “I think that’s enough for several bouquets.”

Gojo’s grin widens. “Even better! Give ‘em to me.”

The looks both men get as they walk the streets with giant armfuls of sunflowers are…peculiar, but Satoru is too busy firing off his own praises on how he’s going to give you the best apology of your life to notice.

“I’m gonna make her cry!,” he beams, pauses, before adding, “Happy tears this time, though.”

Shoulders bounce as Suguru laughs, unable to stifle it with his hands full of shining yellow flowers. “She might just tell you to piss off.”

“Would it kill you to have some faith in me?”

“A little, yes.”

Geto curses under his breath. ‘Shit!’ as he goes stumbling forward right over Satoru’s foot, almost loosing his grip on the assortment in his arms.

“Hey, don’t you dare drop those.,” Gojo pouts. “These are for my wife, and they’re her favorite.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

It takes Satoru hours before he’s happy with the final product. Along with countless tutorials on how to organize a bouquet properly.

“Hold it this way.,” he commands Suguru, who rolls his tired eyes, ready to catch up on the sleep he missed this morning. “There, perfect! Wait, hold on, let me just redo this.”

“Can you hurry up?,” Geto frowns at him. “You’ve redone it like a million times already, damn.”

“Hey, my marriage is at stake here, excuse me for trying to make this look like the best bouquet she’ll ever see!”

“I’m letting go.”

“Nonowait! Okay, I’m done, promise.”

The bouquet comes out stunning, given the fact it was whipped up by two college boys who’d never created a bouquet in their lives, and especially when one of those college boys was Satoru Gojo. He boasts to Suguru, who’s yanking a blanket over his head, how it’s “his best work yet”.

“Maybe be a little more humble when you give it to her.,” Suguru grumbles as Satoru heads out, eager to present you with the display of his apologetic affections.

There’s a certain pep in his step, an excitement Gojo doesn’t often feel unless it’s to see your pretty face. Elated can’t even begin to describe it. The image of your soft lips curling into a smile, eyes sparkling as you see the large array of your favorite flowers, pushes Satoru closer and closer to your dorm building, which stands tall before him. He can’t help but mentally pat himself on the back. Heart swelling, Gojo can see it now, this surprise is going to make you ecstatic–

“Gojo?”

He halts mid-stride, foot hovering in the air, arms loosening around the bouquet. Satoru turns towards the sound and there you are, standing ten feet from him. Your mouth is open in a small ‘o’ as you notice the gift in his hand. Both of you stand there for a moment, eyeing each other, before you eventually break the silence.

“What’s that?”

Satoru snaps back to life, fumbling terribly to stuff the large bouquet behind his back, and he damns himself for making something so awkwardly huge. You watch, biting back a giggle, as he tries to hide what you’ve so obviously seen already. He stutters “u-uh, nothing!’ as a few petals flutter down from his hard work, and he curses ‘fuck!’.

It's easy to sneak up on Gojo when he's so busy floundering with the bunch of flowers. Your mouth threatens to grow into a smile, teeth sinking into your lips at the outlandish sight of him struggling to completely conceal the massive bouquet from your sight. The sharp pinch of your fingertips on his shoulder snatches Gojo from his frantic thoughts.

“Is this your way of apologizing again?”

“No!,” is his instant reply, startling you until Gojo averts his gaze to the concrete. “I mean...yeah. You ruined the surprise.”

This interaction feels more routine, less delicate. The way his lips jut out in a pout, his teasing banter. Crossing arms over your chest, you give Gojo an unamused look. “Ummm, it’s huge. How did you plan on hiding that from me?”

“…”

Satoru thinks his heart stutters as you hold out your arms, hands gesturing for the bouquet, and he slowly reveals the assortment of flowers behind his back. Through his panicked, rushed efforts to hide them, the paper has torn, some of the flowers are missing petals, and some aren’t in the exact position he and Suguru had so meticulously arranged them.

“Dumbass.,” you huff, wrapping fingers around the stems, which are adorned with a crinkly, cream colored paper and a dark green bow. “I’m still mad with you.”

Satoru’s breath hitches as your fingers brush his, as if it's the first time he's ever touched you. He relinquishes hold of the bouquet. “You like ‘em, though? Don’t lie, I can tell.”

“Just shut up.”

He flashes you a toothy, boyish grin, one that makes your heart beat a little faster. “It’s all for you, my pretty Y/N.”

Eyes rolling, you intently study the bouquet, raising it to hide your flustered expression. A warmth creeps over your body at the way Satoru utters your name, like if he says it too loudly, it will break apart into glass pieces. The paper creases under your restless fingers.

“Thank you, Satoru.”

The flowers are striking, but Gojo doesn’t think they compare at all to your beauty. Blue eyes admire you, at the way you marvel over the bunch of sunflowers, beaming at how fresh and vibrant and downright captivating they are. You glance up to meet Satoru’s eye, and he rubs at the back of his neck.

“So, uh,” he starts, avoiding your gaze. “I’m sorry about what I said. Really didn’t mean to upset you that much.”

Your eyes narrow. “That much?”

“Well, you know you’re really hot when you’re mad, but I didn’t mean to do that–“

“And did I look hot then?”

“No! Well, you weren’t ugly, but I didn’t like seeing you so upset–, usually it’s a turn on when you’re all angry but it felt different that time and Suguru didn’t tell me until later you were having a super rough day so I figured I might have hit a nerve–“

You cradle the bouquet to your chest, thoroughly enjoying the clumsy flow of his words, determined not to dig himself a deeper hole or upset you all over again. His lips pause, and then Gojo interrupts another sentence with a new one, before the downturn of his brows as he catches your gleaming eyes.

“My point is that I’m sorry.” He spots the twitch of your frown. “I know you wanna smile, let me see it.”

You can’t help but grin as your mouth opens. “No I don’t. And I guess you’re forgiven, now get away from me so I can enjoy my bouquet in peace.”

“Wait, that’s not it!” Before you turn away, Satoru reaches into his back pocket to pull out a small, white, silk bag with a white ribbon securing the opening. “I got this too. Here.”

You recognize the design of the tiny sack from a rather expensive jewelry store, one you could only dream of buying from. And now here you were, in possession of something from that same store, mouth gaping open as Satoru snickers.

“You just gonna stare, baby, or…?”

The fabric of the bag is soft in your hands, smooth and easy on your fingers. Hugging the bouquet to your side, the ribbon loosens to reveal a dainty, silver necklace inside, adorned with a small, heart charm engraved with your initials.

“Oh, wow . .” You’re awestruck at how delicate and pretty it looks. Turning it over, you find a “G.S” on the other side of the heart. “And Suguru’s initials on the back? How sweet.”

“Don’t play.”

“Whatever.,” you giggle at his downturned lips. “It’s very nice, I like it.”

Satoru can’t help pat himself on the back. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it? Cost a hefty chunk of change, especially since I wanted it so quick and on such short notice–“

“Uh huh.” This big dummy. Your smile grows at the thought.

“–and you know I just had to get the best for my pretty girl, plus I got kinda hard at the thought of my initials on your chest–“

Gojo’s words catch in his throat at the soft press of your lips to his cheek. Blood shoots to his face, instantly, and you can’t help bursting into a round of giggles, barely gasping out ‘you look like a strawberry!’. He’s so embarrassed that the realization that you willingly kissed him of your own accord doesn’t even register. All Satoru feels is a burning heat on his cheeks and a tightness in his chest, desire squeezing a fist around his heart as you smirk up at him through a fit of laughter.

“You are really somethin’ else. Bye, Satoru, also learn to stop talking sometimes.”

All Gojo can do is wave as you depart, leaving you with a ‘see ya, princess’ as you disappear into the building, sparing him one last glance. His phone vibrates as you leave his line of sight, announcing a text from Suguru.

asshole🤮: you give it to her yet?

s: i thought the sleeping beauty was getting a nap in?

asshole🤮: she told you to fuck off, didn’t she?

s: stfu

#bully! satosugu #bully! satoru #satoru gojo imagine #satoru x reader #Satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #satoru gojo x reader fluff #jjk x reader fluff #satoru gojo angst #jjk angst

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cressidagrey · 2 days ago

Text

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 1

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes:

Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

The smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the cozy café, the kind of place that hummed with quiet conversations and the occasional clatter of ceramic cups. Lizzie sat in the corner, tucked into her usual spot by the window, her mind was elsewhere.

The Laptop was open, her fingers hovering over the keyboard, but the words…the words refused to come.

Instead, she sipped at her now lukewarm tea, absentmindedly, running her fingers through Mara’s soft fur. Mara’s chocolate coloured head was resting on Lizzie’s knee, watching her, her tail rhythmically thumping against the floor.

They often came here..nearly every day, to be exact.

Elizabeth Treshton’s life was built around her routine after all.

She knew the exact number of steps from her apartment to the cozy coffee shop on the corner. She knew the best seat—by the window, tucked away, where Mara could curl up at her feet while she wrote. And she knew the barista always had her order memorized: earl grey tea with a dash of milk, one sugar, and a small bowl of water for Mara.

They knew them both. They knew not to bother Mara while working, even when it looked like the dog wasn’t working. She was.

Mara told Lizzie when her body once again decided that having seizures was something it should do and then stayed with her through the whole…shitty ordeal that were said epileptic seizures.

Still, they thrived on their usual routine. And they hadn’t been able to have that for weeks, because Lizzie had been busy with all the publicity surrounding An Autumn of Flames and Stone and the fact that her little book had reached No. 1 of the New York Times Bestselling list.

Which meant…that she now got to write the last book in the Seasons of Fate Series…Something that she never thought she would get to do.

This had been her dream since she was a child…and now…now she finally got to do this. This was her job! Her dream job!

And if this chapter was finally going to start going her way, then maybe Lizzie would be feeling like she actually knew what she was doing too.

Just at that moment, Mara suddenly lifted her head, ears alert and then stood. Lizzie’s pulse spiked. She waited with baited breath for Mara to tell her that another seizure was incoming, even when Lizzie couldn’t feel anything yet.

“Mara?” Lizzie murmured, feeling her stomach knot.

Her service dog didn’t react to her voice. Instead, Mara’s attention was locked on something—or someone—across the café.

Lizzie turned just in time to see Mara move.

Straight toward a guy at the counter.

“Mara, heel!” Lizzie called, already pushing back her chair, heart pounding.

But Mara wasn’t listening.

Mara always listened. Lizzie had not once been in this situation.

Mara was always well behaved. Mara had been trained so well that this was nothing Lizzie had ever needed to worry about…but apparently that day Mara had decided that her time as picture-perfect seizure dog was over and instead she would run across the cafe, straight to random guy…

The guy turned just as Mara reached him. He was tall, wearing a hoodie pulled up over messy brown curls, and he looked as confused as Lizzie felt when Mara pressed her nose against his hand.

“Oh,” he said, blinking down at her. “Uh. Hi?”

Lizzie practically skidded to a stop beside them. “I’m so sorry—she doesn’t normally—”

And then she got a proper look at him.

Her brain stuttered.

Because that wasn’t just any guy in a hoodie.

That was Lando Norris.

Formula 1 driver. Twitch streamer. Walking, talking social media chaos generator.

She knew who he was. Of course, she bloody knew who he was.

They were literally in Woking. A stone thrown away from the McLaren Technology Center.

And even if Lizzie hadn’t grown up seemingly right next to the headquarters of a Formula 1 racing team, she still would have grown up as the daughter of a man that believed that Formula 1 was just as important on Sundays as church services were.

Her dad was the original F1 fan and Lizzie had easily inherited his love for the sport.

So to say that she was…a little bit starstruck, because there was Lando freaking Norris standing in front of her, holding a coffee cup in one hand, a half-eaten croissant in the other, looking between Lizzie and Mara with increasing confusion, was an understatement

“So, uh.” Lando tilted his head. “What’s happening?”

Lizzie swallowed hard, her mind racing. “She’s a service dog,” she managed, her voice tight. “She only does that when—”

Mara insistently pushed her nose against Lando’s hand again. When he didn’t react she started to headbutt his thigh aggressively.

The realization slammed into Lizzie with the force of a freight train. Mara had alerted to him.

Lando still looked baffled, shifting slightly like he wasn’t sure what to do. “Is—uh—is she okay?”

Lizzie swallowed hard. “I—I think she’s actually asking you that.”

His brow furrowed, then a flicker of something passed over his face. A split-second of realization. “Oh.”

Lizzie watched as Lando’s hand curled slightly, his fingers flexing like he was suddenly hyper-aware of his own body.

“Do you feel off?” she asked, voice softer now. “Lightheaded? Dizzy? Aura?”

His lips parted like he wanted to argue—but then he hesitated. “I mean… I was feeling a bit weird this morning.”

Mara let out another small whine, nosing at his wrist.

Lizzie exhaled sharply. “You need to sit down.”

“I’m fine—”

“Sit. Down. And drink some water, for god’s sake.”

He blinked at her in mild shock, but something in her tone must’ve struck him because he moved, letting her guide him to an empty table.

Lizzie crouched next to him, all business now. “Do you have any underlying medical issues? Mara was trained to alert to my Epilepsy. Have you ever had a seizure?!”

Lando shook his head. “No, nothing like that. But—” He ran a hand through his hair. “I do get migraines sometimes. And sometimes before I get one, things feel… off.”

Oh.

Lizzie sat back on her heels. “Then she probably picked up on that.”

Lando looked down at Mara, who had now settled next to him, still watching carefully.

“Is this—normal?” he asked.

“For her, yeah.” Lizzie scratched the back of her neck. “She’s trained to detect seizures, but she picks up on other stuff too. She’s never alerted to someone else before, though.”

Lando let out a short laugh, like he wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned. “Huh. Well, I’m still here, so I think I’m good,” he finally said and Lizzie exhaled.

“Sorry, about that,” she apologised. “She has never done that before.”

Lando grinned, slow and teasing. “Guess I’m just special, huh?” he teased.

A pause. Then, hesitantly, Lando reached down, fingers brushing Mara’s head.

“Thanks, I guess,” he murmured. Mara’s tail gave a small, reassuring wag.

“So, like… I am not dying, right?” Lando asked her suddenly, and Lizzie let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head.

“No. But she’s never wrong about this kind of thing.” Lizzie sighed. “Drink some water. Eat something. Just—don’t ignore it.”

Lando hummed. “Noted.” Then he tilted his head, studying her. “And you are?”

She blinked. “What?”

His smile widened. “Your name. And her name too.”

Lizzie felt warmth creep up her neck.

She bit her lip.

“I am Lizzie. That’s Mara.”

Lando grinned, like he was committing both names to memory. “Lizzie and Mara. Got it.”

Lizzie wasn’t sure why her stomach flipped at the way he said her name, but she pushed the feeling aside. “And you’re Lando,” she said, more to ground herself than anything else.

His grin widened. “So you do know who I am.”

Lizzie scoffed. “I live in Woking. I’d have to be actively avoiding the internet to not know who you are.”

Lando let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “Fair point.” He glanced down at Mara, who had finally relaxed, still keeping a watchful eye on him. “So… does this mean I have, like, a cool dog guardian angel now?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, though a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Only if you promise not to ignore your body when it’s telling you something’s wrong.”

He hummed, tapping his fingers against the table. “Noted.”

The café felt warmer than it had before as they looked at each other. Lizzie, still crouched next to Lando and Mara. The air between them felt charged, and Lizzie was suddenly reminded of a fact she had never forgotten: Lando Norris was unfairly attractive.

"So...are you here often or was today my lucky day?"

She blinked at him, caught slightly off guard by the question. “I—uh. Yeah. I’m here most days.”

Lando nodded like that was exactly the answer he was hoping for. “Cool. I might have to come by more often then.”

Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “Because of the coffee? Or because of the dog that just diagnosed you?”

He smirked. “Both. And maybe because the company’s not bad either.”

She stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was actually flirting or just naturally charming. Either way, it was… a lot.

Lando hesitated, then scratched the back of his neck. “Look, this might be weird, but—can I give you my number?”

Lizzie’s brain stalled. “What?”

His grin turned a little sheepish. “I mean, you know, in case Mara ever wants to check in on me again. Or, uh, if you ever want to.”

Lizzie exhaled a laugh, shaking her head. “That was smooth.”

“I try,” he said, dimples on full display.

Lizzie couldn’t help the smile tugging at her lips, part amused and part baffled at the whole situation. She had gone from sitting in her usual spot, writing away in her notebook as Mara dozed by her feet to now crouching next to a Formula 1 driver giving her his number. What sort of alternate universe was this?

She hesitated, but then Mara nudged her hand, like she was making the decision for her. Lizzie huffed, pulled out her phone, and slid it across the table. “Fine. But if you start texting me memes at 2 AM, I’m blocking you.”

Lando chuckled, tapping in his number before handing it back. “No promises.”

Lizzie glanced down at the contact name he’d put in: Lando ‘Not Dying (Yet)’ Norris.

She sighed. “You’re impossible.”

Lando shot her a cheeky grin as he got to his feet. “It’s part of the charm.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, the smile stubbornly clinging to her face. It only widened when Lando bent down to say a quick goodbye to Mara, who promptly licked his hand in response.

Lizzie shook her head, but she couldn’t quite fight back her smile. “Come on, Mara. Let’s go before you decide to start diagnosing other random strangers too.”

As she walked away, Lando called after her, voice warm with amusement. “See you around, Lizzie.”

She didn’t look back—but her stupid smile stayed all the way home.

***

The morning air was crisp, the kind of early autumn chill that made your breath curl in the air but wasn’t quite cold enough for a proper coat. The park was quiet, save for the occasional jogger or dog walker, the golden sunlight filtering through the trees.

Lando arrived a few minutes early—not that he was eager or anything. He just… didn’t want to be late. Which was not the same as being eager.

He shifted on his feet, hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie. He wasn’t nervous. Not really. Okay, maybe a little.

It wasn’t a date. Not officially. Just a walk. With a girl. A very cute girl. Who had a dog that might have magical powers if yesterday was anything to go by.

He heard her before he saw her—the sound of Mara’s paws on the pavement, the soft jingle of her collar. Then—

“Morning,” Lizzie said, smiling as she approached. She had a bright red scarf wrapped around her neck, her dark hair pulled up into a messy bun, and Mara trotted happily at her side.

Lando tried not to notice how good she looked or how her smile lit up her face. He was cool. He was casual. He wasn’t a blushing teenager getting flustered over a girl.

He failed utterly.

Lando exhaled, grinning back. “Hey. You actually showed up.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of amusement in her expression. Mara padded over and sniffed at Lando’s hand, her tail wagging excitedly.

“As if you weren’t expecting me to,” she said, eyes glittering with humor. “Did you really think I’d ditch you?”

Yes. Yes, he had.

“I dunno. Maybe you’d wake up and realize agreeing to go on a walk with a random guy from a coffee shop was a terrible idea.”

Lizzie laughed, the sound surprisingly musical. “It probably was. But you’ve got Mara’s seal of approval, so you can’t be too dangerous, right?”

She glanced down at Mara, who panted happily up at Lando, as if in agreement.

"Can I touch her?" he asked carefully. "I should have asked yesterday, I am sorry." He may had spent too much time yesterday reading up on Service Dogs. And what exactly they did for their handlers, especially if they had handlers that had epilepsy like Lizzie had.

Lizzie smiled, her expression softening. “It’s okay. I know it’s not exactly common knowledge.” She nodded. “You can touch her. She’s off-duty right now, so you’re good.”

Lando crouched down, holding a hand out, allowing Mara to sniff him. When she didn’t shrink away, he cautiously patted her on the head. Her fur was silky-smooth to the touch.

"Hello Mara," he greeted her. "I even brought Peanut Butter for my saviour.”

He probably shouldn't have said that. At the sound of these two words Mara suddenly perked up, immediately sat down before Lando’s feet.

“You shouldn’t say the magic words unless you plan to give some to her right at that exact moment,” Lizzie said drily.

Lando laughed in surprise, looking down at Mara as she sat there, looking up at him expectantly. “She is serious about peanut butter, huh?”

He pulled the jar out of his pocket, unscrewing the cap before holding it out for Mara to sniff. She stuck her nose in it, tail wagging furiously.

“I think she approves,” he said, watching as Mara licked at the peanut butter.

Only after she had been allowed to stick her snout in there for a full 5 seconds was Mara ready to continue their walk.

“So, how’s the head?” Lizzie asked, tilting her head toward him.

“Better. I took something last night before it got too bad and slept it off.” He glanced down at Mara. “Not sure I would’ve done that if someone hadn’t warned me.”

Lizzie hummed. “She’s good at her job. Even when she has never alerted to somebody else before.”

Lando tried not to let that go straight to his ego. Tried.

Lando tried to sound casual as he spoke, but couldn’t quite hold back a hint of satisfaction. "I guess that means I’m extra special, then?"

Lizzie raised an eyebrow at that, but there was a laugh in her eyes. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

He chuckled, shoving his hands back in his pockets. “Yeah, too late for that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, just walking together, the sound of the leaves crunching under their feet and Mara’s paws filling the air.

“So, what do you do, exactly?” Lando asked, trying to shift the conversation somewhere less awkward. Though he was pretty sure that the abrupt topic change was not gonna help at all.

Lizzie smirked. “You mean besides walk dogs?” she joked.

“Yeah. You know, because you know what I do” He gestured at himself dramatically, trying to be playful. “It’s not fair that you are the big mystery.”

Lizzie laughed and shoook her head. “It’s not fair,” she agreed. “I write books.”

Lando blinked. “What kind of books?” he asked, his curiousity piqued.

“Romantasy,” Lizzie answered, watching him closely, waiting for a reaction.

What?

Lando frowned. “Like… romance and fantasy?” Was that a thing?

“Exactly.”

“Is that, like, dragons? Or is it—”

“Faes,” Lizzie supplied. “And magic, and epic love stories, and usually some kind of dramatic war.”

Lando’s eyes widened as she talked, the concept of 'romantasy' sinking in. “Wow. So, like… magic powers and romance and all that good stuff?”

Lizzie nodded, a faint smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “Pretty much. And there’s always a bit of adventure thrown in for good measure.”

Lando thought for a moment, picturing tales of epic battles and star-crossed lovers. It sounded…. Nice.

“You write those books that people fight over on the internet, don’t you?” he asked. Because he was pretty sure he had seen things about Morally grey love interests and a enemies-to-lovers arc and people fighting with other people about which fictional man was hotter.

Lizzie’s smile widened, her eyes glittering with humour. “Guilty as charged. I write the books that people have passionate debates over online. The ones where people are way too invested in the love triangle and have very strong opinions about which fictional man is hotter.”

His brows shot up. “Wait—are you, like, famous?”

She shrugged. “Depends on who you ask.”

Lando narrowed his eyes, then pulled out his phone and started typing.

Lizzie swatted at his arm. “Are you Googling me?”

“Uh, yeah?”

"What are you evening googling? Lizzie Romantasy?" she asked him with a snort. "You probably won't find me. Try Elizabeth Treshton."

The results for 'Elizabeth Treshton' appeared on the screen, and he scrolled through for a moment, articles and book covers, reviews and interviews popping up.

A moment later he got his answer.

"You sold millions of books."

Lando stared at Lizzie with a mixture of incredulity and awe. "I think that counts as famous."

Lizzie shrugged. “And yet, my dog still expects me to carry her up the stairs when she’s being lazy.”

Mara wagged her tail like she agreed.

Lando laughs, shaking his head. “I have a feeling Mara has you wrapped around her paw.”

She hummed in agreement, her hand going to the end of Mara's leash as the dog stopped to sniff at a tree.

“I swear, she knows exactly how cute she is and uses it to her advantage.”

Lando slipped his phone back into his pocket, shaking his head. “That’s actually really cool. How’d you get into it?”

Lizzie hesitated, then exhaled. “I have epilepsy. Had a lot of seizures when I was younger, which meant a lot of time in hospitals. You get really bored after a while.” She snorted. “So, I kept busy. Told myself stories, read, learned to crochet. But writing stuck. Studied English lit at uni, got a publishing deal right after. I was really lucky.”

Lando nodded. “That’s kinda sick, actually. You get to make stuff up for a living.”

Lizzie chuckled. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.” She glanced at him. “What about you? What’s it like, racing cars all day?”

He grinned. “Honestly? A lot more boring than you’d think.”

Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “You drive 300 kilometers an hour for a living.”

“Yeah, but I also stare at spreadsheets for hours. It’s not all fast cars and cheering crowds.”

“I mean, if you didn’t look at data, I think there would be bigger problems,” Lizzie said, teasing.

He rolled his eyes. “I do look at it, I promise.”

“So, how’d you end up doing that?”

“My mum tried to get me into horses—wasn’t into it. But I wanted to drive. Did quad biking, motorcycle riding… then my dad took me to a kart race, and that was it.”

“That’s sweet. My dad and I have watched F1 together since I was a kid," Lizzie said with a grin.

Lando glanced at her. “Really? That’s awesome. So, are you, like, one of those people who actually knows what’s going on during a race?”

Lizzie grinned. “You’re just mad because I probably know more than you.”

“Impossible,” Lando said, acting affronted. “I drive the car, I know what I’m doing.”

Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “Do you, though?”

He gaped at her. “I can’t believe you just questioned my driving skills.”

She just laughed. “I can’t drive at all, you know.”

“I can teach you,” he offered immediately.

She laughed. “I am legally not allowed to get behind the wheel,” Lizzie told him drily. “Epilepsy, you know. If I get a seizure while driving, I would accidentally murder people,”

“That sucks,” Lando said quietly.

“It’s just one of those things you get used to. You get used to not having control over that part of your life.”

Lando felt a pang of sympathy. “That must be tough.”

Lizzie shrugged. “It is, sometimes. But Mara’s a huge help. And I get by.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Lando said, glancing down at the dog, who was happily leading the way once again.

Lizzie smiled. “She’s the best. And it’s not all bad. Gives me more time to write, at least.”

Lando grinned. “I’m definitely interested in reading some of your work now.”

She laughed. “You are aware that they are all like 500 pages, right?”

Lando groaned dramatically. “You’re telling me you’ve published multiple million-selling books, and they’re all doorstoppers?”

"I am a wordy person, you know," Lizzie shot back.

Lando groaned again, but he smiled, too. “You’re making me work for it here.”

Lizzie just shrugged, her mouth curving into a smirk. “You’re just going to have to deal with it.”

” Lando grinned, already planning his next move. “Alright, super important question,” he said, stuffing his hands into his hoodie pocket.

Lizzie raised a brow. “Oh?”

“Who’s your favorite F1 driver?”

She let out a soft laugh. “You really want to know?”

Lando nodded, deadly serious. “This is crucial information. Make or break.”

She laughed, a strand of dark chocolate brown hair escaping her bun.

“My dad is a die hard Ferrari fan,” she told him. “Seriously. Like you know that quote that there are only two religions in Italy, Catholicism and Ferrari? That’s pretty much my dad,” she said with a shake of her heard. “So for him it was always Schumacher…

As they strolled through the park, Mara trotting ahead with her nose to the ground, Lando shot Lizzie a sideways glance.

Lizzie hummed, drawing out the suspense. “When I was little, I loved Kimi Raikkonen.”

Lando groaned. “Kimi? Seriously?!?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “You asked! I was, like, ten. You weren’t even in F1 yet.”

“Still hurts,” Lando muttered. “Alright, fine. What about now? Who’s your current favorite?”

Lizzie smirked. “Are you asking because you want me to say you?”

He feigned innocence. “Noooo… but also, yes.”

She pretended to consider. “Well, I do appreciate drivers with great car control and a smooth racing style.”

Lando’s grin stretched wide. “That does sound familiar—”

“Which is why I love watching Lewis.”

Lando gasped, scandalized. “Lizzie, what the hell?”

She laughed. “What? He’s a seven-time world champion! You can’t be mad at me for that.”

“I can definitely be mad at you for that.” He shook his head in mock disappointment. “I thought we had something special.”

Lizzie smirked. “Would it make you feel better if I said you’re my favorite driver I’ve ever gone on a walk with?”

Lando narrowed his eyes at her, fighting a smile. “Barely.”

***

175 notes · View notes

maplesyrupsainz · 1 year ago

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙do-over | MV1˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: max verstappen x fashion designer!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, "enemies" (exes) to lovers

warnings: i just be making shit up fr

summary: in which they meet again and rekindle their relationship much to the delight of their fans

a/n: tbh i got no idea how to do enemies to lovers so i went for like a past messy breakup nd rekindle of the relationship now they're older nd more mature or wtvr let me know what u think!!! this was a req but it was super duper vague so i jus pulled this together nd pls fr bare in mind tht im not a max verstappen fan by any stretch lol

request!!!: Enemies to lovers with Max please

fc: maggie lindemann

my masterlist

alternate ending

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, yoursister, and 83,238 others

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and 927,194 others

yourusername heard you need inspiration

view all 18,293 comments

yourbff my girl forever nd ever ⭐️

liked by yourusername

user1 new fan gained

user2 omg i rmmbr her from when she dated max & now im just rediscovering her she's sooo gorgeous wtaf

user3 i can't believe max fumbled her

user4 my competition for her hand jus tripled

user5 quadrupled more like

user6 max verstappen found dead

user7 cant wait for a new collection

yourusername posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and 318,928 others

ynupdates I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

yourusername i love u 🫀🫀

user8 u are fr the coolest girl in the world

yoursister so proud of you 🥹

yourusername stop it you'll make me emotional 😭

user9 you are so so loved

user10 nothing you could've said would put us off supporting u forever🤟

messages ->

instagram ->

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername, and 719,948 others

maxverstappen1 life lately ⏰

view all 15,283 comments

user11 Y/N IN THE LIKES I REPEAT Y/N IN THE LIKES

user12 no freaking way

user13 i need to know what's going on have they spoken since the podcast ?!!

user14 exes to lovers arc incoming🥹

user15 he's so cute

landonorris why is your comment section so full up of drama max

maxverstappen1 i didnt ask for this

user16 max is so tired of us LOL

user17 not sorry

user18 i love drama

user19 max acting dumb like he didnt post this to get her attention

ynupdates

liked by user17, user3, and 18,294 others

ynupdates y/n y/l/n spotted today outside a cafe with ex beau max verstappen, following the release of a podcast episode on which y/n discussed her feelings on how the relationship played out. the meet up has come after they were seen liking each other's instagram stories & posts, however the discussion they were having reportedly seemed heated and as though they were having a disagreement. rumours/theories of them rekindling their romance were rife but what is the consensus now? we are sending our love to y/n as always!

view all 6,183 comments

user20 omg what is happening

user21 im so surprised she even met with him

user22 he wants her back & she cant deny him bc every girl has a soft spot for their first love

user23 agree but tbh it's probs good tht they argued or wtvr coz she isnt giving in to him she's making sure he fights for her 🤷

user24 some of u guys are delulu af

user25 what i would give to be a fly on the wall in that convo

user26 i hope he's changed or at least fr lets her move on

yourusername

liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, and 798,373 others

yourusername never lonely 🖤

view all 6,183 comments

user27 omg first time we've seen y/n with her guitar in ages

user28 the guitar omg

yourbff best girl in the world

yourusername i love u 🫀🫀

yoursister hard at work or hardly working?

yourusername shut up you

danielricciardo you better not be drinking tequila without me!

yourbff we wouldn't dream of it

user29 omg daniel publicly being friends with y/n !!?

user30 something is changing here

user31 there's something in the air 🤔

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, danielricciardo, and 88,294 others

danielricciardo hang tight

yourusername lol thanks??

user32 send locaysh 🤟🤟

user33 we miss u y/n

user34 omgggggg i cant wait for more designs from u

maxverstappen1 posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and 213,293 others

yourbff MAX WHAT ARE YOU DOING

maxverstappen1 getting coffee what does it look like

yourbff i know you're not taking that to y/n

danielricciardo if y/bff/n msgs u ignore her

maxverstappen1 👍

user35 SOMETHING IS HAPPENING HERE

user36 is this for y/n

user37 this plus y/n's story .... the maths is mathing

user38 No freaking way

yourusername posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, and 134,293 others

charles_leclerc im on the edge of my seat!!

yourusername 😭 hi charles

yourbff I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING Y/N U GUYS ARE NOT SLICK

danielricciardo ignore y/bff/n

yourusername done & done

user39 im spinning around

user40 i've connected the dots

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourbff posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 22,293 others

danielricciardo have you forgiven me yet

yourbff i'll forgive max before i forgive you

maxverstappen1 have you forgiven me?

yourbff what do you think max emilian

yourusername you are not mad at all

yourbff of course not. i always loved max

yourusername 😜

ynupdates posted a story

liked by user22, user8, and 84,283 others

user45 oh my god it's real

user46 NO WAY IS SHE BACK IN THE PADDOCK

user47 & she said she couldn't ever be just friends with her first love...

ynupdates NO YOU'RE RIGHT

user48 they are soulmates for real

user49 i can't believe all it took was a podcast episode

yourusername posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 548,293 others

charles_leclerc i will say i am shocked but happy beyond words to have you back!

yourusername ❤️❤️ catch up soon!

danielricciardo she's back for goood

yourusername don't speak too soon

yourbff can i come

yourusername max said only if you forgive him in writing

yourbff 😑

user50 shameless 🥹🥹🥹

user51 YOU GOT THAT GLOW OF A NEW OLD RELATIONSHIP

ynupdates not you trying to pretend you aren't ecstatic

user52 i want whatever max verstappen has

ynupdates posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, user44, and 128,103 others

user53 the lol

ynupdates trying to pretend i care about racing😕😕😕

user54 he's down bad for her always has been always will be

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 828,045 others

yourusername weekend off

view all 5,921 comments

user55 they're just friends they're just friends they're just friends

user56 i dont believe it for a second

yourbff get back to work

yourusername im busy right now

yourbff oh i wonder what with

user57 max max max max

user58 she gets prettier everytime i see her

maxverstappen1 so glad to have you back on the paddock y/n ❤️

yourusername glad to be back !

user59 they r so stiff

user60 trying to trick us into thinking they arent in love

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and 982,193 others

yourusername all the good in my life

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourbff

view all 21,283 comments

user64 SHE LOOKS SOOO HAPPY

ynupdates her smile😭😭😭

yourbff the way you're glowing

liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1 i love you ❤️

yourusername i love u too 🥹🫶

user65 i'll never recover

user66 the new (old) f1 it couple

user67 best wag of all time

user68 cant wait to buy all of y/n's new collection

user69 literally same it looks soo cool

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 1,284,083 others

maxverstappen1 i won

tagged: yourusername

view all 34,838 comments

ynupdates omg she is so hot what the hell

maxverstappen1 you're telling me

user70 OH MY GODDD

user71 her in max's car oh myyyy

yourusername wow

yourusername i love u fr

maxverstappen1 ❤️

danielricciardo you're welcome everyone

yourbff you do not get credit for this

danielricciardo have you forgiven me yet

maxverstappen1 and me?

yourbff no never

yourusername tell the truth y/bff/n

yourbff ok fine i was never mad

THE END 🤍

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #smau #f1 smau #f1 x reader #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #mv1 #mv1 imagine #mv1 x reader #maddie's smau

2K notes · View notes

homesick4la · 3 months ago

Text

complicated — hamzahthefantastic

3. brown eyes at the entrance

contains: goofy drunk hamzah, quick mention of sex but no actual nsfw content in this one

summary: what do you do when your ex shows up at your front doorstep?

a/n: short but i just wanted to post hi

last part: with you all night

you left hamzah’s apartment that morning feeling more confused than ever. you two ate breakfast together and then you were out the door. he hadn’t even asked to hangout again or talked about breaking the whole “no contact” thing. he simply said he enjoyed the night with you and told you to have a good day.

how could he spend such an intimate night with you and not ask to see you again?

as hard as it was, you tried to be nonchalant about the situation. you could hook up with your ex in a casual way, right?

you call mandy, practically begging her to meet you for coffee.

now you were at your local cafe, anxiously walking up to the table you spotted mandy at.

“y/n! hey!” she said excitedly. you can almost see her eyes analyzing your facial expressions as you walk up to her. “so what’s up? you look like you’ve got something to tell me.”

“oh, it’s definitely..something.” you laugh nervously, “i uh, ended up talking to hamzah last night…”

“oh that’s great!” she interrupts, “did you get any sort of closure?”

“yeah, about that…i actually ended up going back to his place..”

she sighs at your confession.

“and we had sex but listen! i know that it was probably a bad idea but being around him again- it like made my brain go all fuzzy and all common sense went out the window.” you ramble, trying to defend yourself.

“y/n, i told you to go out on the balcony to get closure, not to hookup with him!”, she shakes her head at you. “but i get it. you guys have history, you’re comfortable with him. it’s easy to go back in that situation.”

“exactly! it was so comfortable! it felt like how things used to be. so now, i’m all confused because i thought i had finally gotten over him. and there’s matthew…”

“the guy you said was boring?” she questions.

“he is a bit boring but he’s nice- stable.”

“but what are you gonna do now? keep seeing him?”

“ugh, i don’t know. i guess i should end things with him- because clearly i have not moved on from hamzah yet.”

she nods slowly, deep in thought. “you think you’ll get back with hamzah again?”

“i don’t know,” you let out a harsh breath. “sometimes i think that maybe if we tried again, things would be different. like we’d be able to figure it out this time.”

she smiles softly.

“but today, he didn’t ask to meet again or ask how he could contact me or anything so i don’t even know if he wants to try again.” you shrug your shoulders.

“honestly, y/n, you might want to figure that out before cutting things off with matthew.”

she was right. you didn’t want to ruin a good thing simply for the possibility of getting back with your ex.

after another thirty minutes of catching up over coffee, she reminds you to keep her updated before the two of you part ways.

as you start driving home, your phone rings.

*incoming call: matthew*

“hey babe, you never texted me when you got home?” he questioned, his voice concerned.

you let out a soft sigh, “yeah, sorry- i went to sleep right when i got home.”

“you feeling better today?”

“yeah, yeah i think i just had a migraine or something.”

“good! i was actually wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight?” his voice is hopeful.

he was kind and cute and he knew what he wanted. how could you say no?

“sure! were you gonna pick me up on the way or should i meet you somewhere?” you ask, a soft smile creeping on your face.

“i’ll pick you up at six. oh- and wear something fancy! i wanna take you to a nice place.”

you agree and say your goodbyes. you were excited to get dressed up and be taken out. you hoped that this dinner would change things- show you how interesting and exciting matthew really is, helping you move on from the chaos of hamzah.

…

the restaurant matthew had chosen was beautiful. the warm candlelight and low jazz music playing in the background creating such a romantic atmosphere.

he sat across from you, retelling a story about a hike he had went on.

you could tell he was making an effort. telling you this story with you in an attempt to share something meaningful with you. feel closer to you.

but as he kept talking, your mind kept slipping into memories with hamzah. you thought of how beautiful his face looked when illuminated by candlelight. the way his smile had always been on the edge of a smirk.

hamzah knew exactly how to pull you into each of his stories. he entertained you effortlessly. just one of his jokes could leave you clutching your stomach in laughter.

“and then i was there, completely lost.” he chuckles slightly as he ends his story.

“oh my god, that must’ve been so scary.” you reply, doing your best to give him energy.

he smiled softly as he looked into your eyes. “that’s what i’ve always loved about hiking though- you never know what adventure’s around the corner.”

“yeah.” you respond, smiling sweetly while all you can think about is how hamzah would’ve made fun of that corny line.

“you okay? you seem distracted.” matthew said, watching you as he took a bite of his steak.

“oh! yeah i’m fine, i just had a long day.” you explain, telling yet another lie.

“i get it.” he smiles, “no worries.”

god, did he have to be so kind and patient? it’d make you feel much less guilty if he was a complete asshole.

no, he was everything you should want. he was sweet, understanding, and so open with you.

but there was no allure. no mystery. no edge. all of the surface-level conversation you two were having was driving you absolutely insane.

“well, i actually had something to ask you.” he broke the silence.

you look up at him, nervously waiting for him to continue.

“i’m going on a trip to seattle next week. it’s completely covered by my job and i have a plus one. i know it’s a bit last minute but i wanted to know if you’d like to join me?”

traveling together would change this “casual dating thing”, into something more serious. something you were definitely not ready for. not yet.

you clear your throat to speak, “can i uh- think about it? it sounds super fun, i just have a lot of school work and stuff…”

he nods. “yeah, just let me know whenever you decide.”

“thank you.” you smile.

after finishing dinner, he drives you back home. he thanks you for the night, explaining what a great time he had with you.

he walks you to the front of your apartment complex and presses a gentle peck to your lips before telling you goodnight.

as you ride the elevator up to your apartment, you decide that you have to end things with matthew. you couldn’t go on that trip with him and lead him on any more than you already have. it was unfair of you to be constantly comparing him to hamzah. the truth was that there nothing wrong with him at all- you were the only person to blame in this situation.

you look up as you start walking toward your apartment to see hamzah leaned up against the wall next to your front door. his head tilted back, eyes closed- simply waiting.

“hamzah? what are you doing here?” you say, your voice coated in shock.

his eyes are low. a goofy smile plastered on his face. he was either drunk or high, or both.

“you look pretty.” you can practically hear his smirk.

you stand directly in front of him. “are you drunk?” you ask as you cross your arms in front of your chest.

“a little bit”, he laughs. “and maybe a little bit high but listen- i just wanted to see you.”

“oh and this couldn’t wait until you were, i don’t know, less…drunk?”

he shrugged, “but you were out with ‘new guy’, what’s his name?”

“matthew.” you roll your eyes at him. “how’d you know i was out with him anyway?”

“mandy might’ve mentioned that you texted her about it.” he grins, “i think watching paint dry might be more exciting than going on a date with that guy. i couldn’t let you go home and just be with that kind of…energy.”

you bit your lip, trying not to laugh. “hamzah, you can’t just show up at my door every time you think i should be around better “energy.”

“oh i can”, he shoots back at you. “it’s actually one of my best skills- showing up uninvited and reminding you of how fun i am.”

“you’re unbelievable.” you laugh, already feeling defeated by his charm.

“and yet”, he pauses. “here you are, laughing. i’ve still got it.” a cocky grin creeps on his face. you can’t help but laugh.

“you’re so full of yourself.” you shake you head, smiling.

“i just feel confident around you, that’s all.”

“oh really?” you tilt your head to the side.

“c’mon, y/n. tell me the truth- was he as funny as me?”

“no.” you admit, rolling your eyes.

“as charming?” he pushes.

“also, no.” you answer.

“then what are we doing here?” he lifts his hands up dramatically. “why are you spending your night with boring ol’ matthew when you could’ve had all this?” he gestures to himself, that goofy smile of his still lingering on his face.

“hamzah. you are being ridiculous.” you reiterate.

“did you mean ridiculous-ly hot and sexy or?” he can’t help but laugh at his own joke.

you shake your head and roll your eyes once again, still unable to contain the smile that seemed stuck on your face.

“you are impossible to argue with.” you tell him.

“is that a yes to me coming in?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes. “please? i’ll just sleep on the couch or even, the floor. whatever you want me to do.”

“you came here to sleep on my couch?”

“i just want to be around you.” he whined.

how could you say no to those brown puppy-dog eyes of his? and you couldn’t send him home drunk- that wasn’t safe. you just had to let him in.

“fine. get inside before i change my mind.” you tease as you unlock your front door.

the second you two get inside, he walks over to the couch, flopping onto it and stretching out with a smug look on his face. “see? look how harmless i am?”

“mhm, very harmless.” you say as you grab a blanket.

you start tucking him in with the fluffy blanket until he grabs your hand, looking into your eyes. “thank you for letting me in.”

“yeah, well you’re just lucky i’m too tired to kick you out.” you joke.

“yeah, lucky.” he repeats, his voice soft as his thumb rubs your hand softly.

just from the way his gentle touch and low voice had such an effect on you, you knew you were in trouble all over again.

next part: stay here forever

a/n: next part soon. promise. also i did not proofread bc it’s 2 am and im tiredddd also writing this kinda reminded me of the song memories by conan gray so that is where the title for this part is from yay here’s the song if u wanna listen

#hamzahthefantastic #slushy noobz #hamzah imagines #hamzah x y/n #hamzah x reader #hamzah #hamzah fic #hamzah fluff

194 notes · View notes

dreamdolldiary · 1 year ago

Text

#𝟏𝟎𝟎𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

This is how we are NOT going to wait until the new year (or a new whatever) to be the best version of ourselves, we are going to change now.

When you want to change, change. Don't wait for anything.

There are about 100 days until the new year. That is 3 months. You can get so much done within that timeframe.

But with the "new year" aside, please know that there is absolutely no rush to improve. It can be July and you can still decide to "reinvent" yourself. This is just a fun thing to do and keep track of.

Not a "challenge" but a way to stay accountable for your goals for a better you.

୨୧ Here is how we are going to absolutely kill it!

1. Pick a number of goals (3-4, both small and large) for every aspect of your life.

Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, professional, personal.

Physical: 10k steps a day, working on being sober, moving your body around more, getting into bed earlier, reducing screen time, cooking healthier meals, brushing your hair, wearing the nice clothes you're saving for a "special occasion", trying out new looks and clothes, venturing out new styles, upgrading your basic hygiene routine, celibacy, drink more water

Mental: writing down your thoughts, keeping track of your emotions both negative and positive and what triggers them. Get rid of the negative triggers and bring in more of the positive triggers.

Emotional: getting in touch with a therapist, dedicating a journal to release you emotions instead of bottling them in, talking to friends, anger management

Professional: working 1 hour or more of deep work to improve your skills, networking events

Personal: find your old hobbies, discover new ones, pleaseee get a hobby. seriously! trying out new restaurants and cafes, complimenting people and be open to making new friends.

Spiritual: meditation, prayers to yourself or religion you are a part of, nature/solitude walks. These are super important, it brings you peace of mind and a time to really be with yourself and be at peace after your jam packed days

Finance: learn how to budget, no impulse spending, learn how to invest, find a way to increase your income

Important habits to have: waking up and going to bed early, planning your next day, having a set routine and freedom to change it to fit your priorities

Important skills to build: time management and how to focus better

These are just some ideas and I know looking at this list can be overwhelming so you need to remember and understand that you are not going to be doing every single one of these every single day. You are going to pick a few from each category (and seriously, if you think about it, I discuss this in the next section about time blocking, it really does not take a lot of time. Trust me.) and include them into your daily routine.

2. Setting up reasonable time blocks for these goals. Revamp your schedule to fit your goals around your life.

Getting up early is how you get more done in a day. Yes, you can reach your goals even with a full time job.

I work almost 12 hour shifts every week day while taking care of kids, my dog, basically running a household and I still get so much done.

So you've picked your goals. Great. Now take a look at your schedule and figure out what things are taking up most of your time. Is it a long commute? Spending too much time scrolling on your phone? Waking up late? Going to bed late?

Example of time blocking/a schedule:

☆ Mornings:

4am-5am: exercise, pray/meditate

5am-7am: study

8am-4pm: get ready for the day and go to work.

during your work break, you can read a book, get steps in, meditate, have a nice meal.

☆ Evenings:

4pm-5pm: get back from work, eat, catch up with family or have alone time

5pm-7pm: review any notes, clean, meal prep, attend a class you may have, do laundry

7pm-9pm: plan the next day if you have appointment or deadlines, shower, go to bed

Assess how you spend your time and utilize it. Instead of scrolling on your phone during your free time, spend time with your loved ones (pets, kids, partner), instead of staying in one place while you're on a call, walk around to get steps in, there is always a way to implement your goals into your daily life.

Notice how I say fit your goals around your life. You don't want to be taking away important things like errands, jobs, school, being a parent just meet your goals- no. Use your time wisely. That's all. You can fit them.

On the larger goals like taking up a class/large skill, like dancing and painting. On fridays, you'll have dance class and on other days that you have free, you'll be painting a piece or reading your anticipated book, learning a language, trying out a new recipe, planning the next day, taking a spontaneous art class, etc!

Weekends.

Because I work a lot, I like to use weekends to really do deep work. Intensive study sessions. And because I deep work (work with no distractions) I don't need to study all day. I'm getting so much done in little time that I'll be done by the afternoon and I can go out and do errands, get all dressed up and have a nice day out in the city, or just have a relaxing day by doing chores, watching a nice movie and more!

3. Setting up a system so you can actually stick to those goals.

Keep a journal to keep track of what you did today. If you didn't reach a goal that day (and that's okay), ask yourself why? and how does it make you feel? Then take action on what you can do to reach it tomorrow.

Switching. We all know it’s best to not push yourself so hard. For example, don’t do intense exercise everyday. Walking and dancing throughout the day counts as exercise too, so by switching (depending on YOUR goals), you’ll have time for your other goals as well. Here is an example: on a rest day of no exercising, maybe that day is the night I have a ballet class. That is exercise as well. So instead of exercising in the very early hours of my day, I can use that time instead to do more studying OR have more time doing something else.

which means I can do one do the following: spend more time with my pet, read a few pages of my book, make a new recipe, etc.

Ex. 4am-5am - on a no-exercise day, i can study during that time instead. 6am-7am - more time to tackle my other goals.

Create a foundation. If you have an amazing day, felt very productive and accomplished, what's a habit that really helped? For me, it's always getting up early. If I wake up late because I slept late or my alarm didn't go off, my day is thrown off by a landslide. So if you had an off day, figure out why and maybe your foundation can help.

★ That’s all!

If you have questions or need an example to jump off from, click below to read more on how I personally did my reset and how I am still able to get much more done with a full time job.

Stay safe, prospering, and amazing!

Share your accountability posts with the tag #100DaysWithDDD or we can chat through my inbox if you need extra tips, questions or want to share how you're doing/did.

I will be logging my days too, you can find my goals here.

Welcome, welcome!

Here is an example of what I did when I did my reset and still doing now with working.

I chose my goals. I was studying deeply, spending more time with my dog who I felt bad would be bored during my study hours, be more active, get through my books.

How did I start? First of all I got up earlier and went to bed earlier. I noticed that I focus better in the mornings so I would stretch, workout and started studying. Next, I would get ready (nice clothes, my face is clear, hair is brushed), take my dog out, play with him, etc and head to work. See? I already tackled so many of my goals there! Physical, personal, and professional.

Want to get more books in, want to meditate, want to journal? Listen to an audiobook or podcast while you drive, commute, or have a lunch break at school or work. Or don't. Sit in silence and let your mind wander, let those unconscious ideas come up! That's also a form of meditation and having more creative skills.

During my study breaks, I would stretch, walk my dog. Another break, I catch up with the kids, do any short tasks like laundry, mini tidying up. Any break, at all I would do micro-task.

I stopped doing useless things like spending so much time on my phone for what? If I was truly bored, I had done all my tasks but I didn't feel like getting up or doing anything, I would go on my phone... to clean out apps and my camera roll (which has A LOT of things on it I still need to get through). That's the only time I would go on my phone really. The lack of storage on my phone makes it lag- I'm heavily scolding my past hoarder self for keeping so many photos on there

If you work a desk job, get up for phone calls, take laps when there is nothing to do, just get your body moving! Stretch! There is always something to do, you just have to know how and what.

2K notes · View notes

kittsyspaw · 3 months ago

Text

── ✦ HCS .ᐟ ꜰᴛ ᴊᴏᴋᴇʀ ɴ ᴡᴏᴏɪɴ

𝑆YNO ✦ .ᐟ NSFW & SFW & ANGST HEAD CANONS ft. Joker n Wooin !

彡 Not in order ! (And not every HC cuz my head just emptied) no proof check !! No actual warnings, but you can skip anything that you are uncomfortable with! Likes and reposts are very much appreciated ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

First part ꩜ Second part

ᯓ J𖹭ker ── ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 SFW ⠀ᰋ

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 the greenest flag. Whoever says hes a red flag...i disagree.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 real love 100% joker doesn't allow himself to he with someone who he has no interest for. So you being his girlfriend just means he's gonna marry you.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 talk abt marriage, he plans his future with you UGHH imagines baby versions of him and you running aroundddddd

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 okay okay, in your current relation He tries his best to NEVER disappear or go on long missions when you are together... he'll find a way to text you, call you or whatever if he does. He cares smmmm abt you <3

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Literally Husband material, wife Material, boyfriend material.... everything! You're hungry? He's got chu ! Sleepy? Just put your head on his lap you two can cuddle in bed

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Look look now, Hajun knows exactly who wants and what type of relationship he looks forward for AND BOOM you dropped on him! Literally the ONE for him.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he isn't very picky of course, but the moment his eyes landed on you, he knew you two were made for each other and he hoped you felt the same

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Made the first move ofc but he was soooo anxious before ....you don't even know where he got the courage from

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 (he got help from the sabbath crew)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 loves holding you...in any way. It doesn't matter as long as his hands are on you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 one of the main reasons he struggled with confessing was because he feared that a relationship would make things even worse for him, he has a handful of things to do and feared that you might get involved with everything

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Calls you things like 'Sweetheart' 'babe' 'baby' or 'sweet/ pretty thing' <33

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 would NOT allow you to see his underground fights unless you don't back down...or find it hot how he fights, but he still doesn't want you in any danger

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Would love going out in dates with you, esp cafes or parks where he can just relax and stare at you deeply in love

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 pleasseee pepper his face with kisses, he'll literally melt inside, hold him too.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Falls asleep everywhere, would snore like a little baby if you play with his fluufffyyy blue locks and give his head scratches like a lil puppy

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 goes crazy if you match his tattoes...OR TATTOO HIS NAME ON YOU

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he isn't much with words...but his actions speak up a lot for him

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 actions... you're always protected btw. Nothing is gonna get you. Who's ever bothering you is losing their teeth and leaving with broken bones

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 see hajun doesn't smile...or like have a lot of expression but his eyes are always on you and he stares at you with suchhhh warmth in them <33

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he would cry if he saw you taking care of his brothers when you have the time and he just comes back home to see you all cuddled up sleeping on the couch or playing games together

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Exactly that he loves because you bring such a warmth to his cold, dry and dull home.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 his brothers love you equally as much. The dog too.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 you trim his hair and give his brothers sometimes haircuts

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 if you feel like it, you do volunteer work with at an animal shelter AND ALWAYS have to end quickly before you adopt the whole damn place.

Physically can't share his food (even wooin) except with you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Since he doesn't really have much...yk income, he would hand make you gifts or save up enough, he's sooo sweet.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 joker loves matching outfits with you or style but he doesn't mind if you dress differently, he finds everything you're in cute

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 oh yea, gives you his clothes because he loves when people know you're his. Very territorial 🤭

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 teaches you how to defend yourself from creeps (...wooin?)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 outside when you two go on dates, your hand is literally melted to his DO NOT LET GO

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 you might not realize it but he trust you so much, literally tells you everything in his heart.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 cares a lot about your opinion!! On everything.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 likes to try things that you like so he can feel closer to you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 drag him along, he'll go anywhere with you if he has the time

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 ANGST ⠀ᰋ

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Talking about time... Joker probably won't have much because of his part time jobs and constant work BUT I PROMISE he will try his best so don't leave him :((

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Other than that... Yes he can and will go missing for a few days with no messages and won't be able to explain...matter of fact speak about it as why he does.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Arguments probably end up on the not good side with him...he won't say anything to you until he has calmed down and you did too, so you two can figure out something properly.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 He hates silent treatment from you, he likes silence but when you start acting like he doesn't exist it makes his chest squeeze Because he knows he fucked up

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 hajuns heart breaks in million pieces if you cry because of him...would blame himself sooo hard

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 since he ain't got with communication...he trys his best...asks his brothers or even online posts for advice because he doesn't want to make you unhappy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 yes...he also cries when wether you yell at him or after an argument, he just fucking adores you, okay? So he didn't expect any mean tones from you :(

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 please don't make him jealous. He hates that feeling because it makes him feel like he's not good enough.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Don't flirt with the sabbath crew boys either plz, he finds most of them weird and to be honest doesn't see them as friends but rather co-workers

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 now yes... he isn't insecure, he knows exactly that you're his. (he knows when its just for fun cuz u want his attention 😒)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 the pressure from his work makes him snap somtimes, he doesn't yell but he's snappy and gets an attitude. Don't blame him...he feels like a fucking dog on a leash with them.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 doesn't like raising his voice at you, but when you two are arguing, his voice breaks instead of getting louder... :')

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he's so cold on the outside, so if you want him to be all cutesy n saying sweet stuff to you...yeah sorry...

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 But! Hollup! Before that! He also can make you jealous, he just finds it unnecessary (finds it unhealthy) and if he does... it's NOT on purpose, unless ykwim

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 oh yeah, Hajun keeps away when he gets badly hurt, it got better after you told him that you don't want that...but he feels like he's in an extreme vulnerable state which isn't embarrassing but very disappointing for him

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Yeahhh, i would take this as angst because hes super obsessive.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he has a many bad habits

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 please don't nag him about his work either...yes he knows that you care about him but don't act like his mom... support instead, figure out something.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 If Hajuns (ever) annoyed by you, he'll just give you half lidded, cold eyes omg i would cry

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 yes he can be mean... Don't try it out

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 If you're insecure, he doesn't have the best words but would hug you, kiss you and tell you the opposite, that you're perfect.

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 NSFW ⠀ᰋ

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 breeding kink, breeding kink, breeding kink oh, and! Did i say breeding kink?

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 like c'mon this huge fucking dude would want a big ass family

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 always cumming inside, unless you're uncomfortable with that, he'll cum on your pussy and tummy

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 he has a thing for lingerie...that or those knee high socks and pink panties

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 about panties....he pockets some of yours.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 things like you wearing his shirts with nothing beneath makes him very horny

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 likes positions where he can watch your face, plus one of his favorites is doggy because he can pull one leg of your back or pull at your hair

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 sex while standing up? Also yes.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Hajun gets so turned on by you, literally whines after you stroke him with your smaller hands while he's super hard

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 cries if you run your other hand up his side or stroke his hair

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 fingering + Hajuns big fingers nghhh

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 lovvvvesss your pussy, eats it like breakfast, lunch and dinner

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 likes to play with your clit, or running two/three of his fingers up and down your slit to stimulate you (bites your clit with his canines)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 talking about that, overstimulating with Hajun is gonna ascend you to the heavens, you'll either black out or pass out

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Okay, he doesn't make much noise but groans + whines or sobs while burying his face into your shoulder or head

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 wouldn't do anything that hurts you like choking he just doesn't enjoy it but likes spanking n making you count

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 HE HAS SO MUCH STAMINA?! LIKE NEVER GETS TIRED OF FUCKING YOU

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 exactly!!! He'll only stop when you pass out or say your safe word

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 loves squishing your cheeks (face, but also ur rear) together while you're cockdrunk

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Hajun can make you squirt so many times until you spasm

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 strokes your head while you're giving him a blowie and leans his neck back, his neck just soooo beautiful to look at

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 oh yeah, he probably tattooed your name on his hip, throat or on his groin

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ALSO ROUGH but sooo sensational <333

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 doesn't really have a huge daddy kink BUT likes when he can punish you when you're being moody n a brat

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 maybe he would even buy you little collars to wear :33

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 does not like sex toys. Seriously, he can't understand the hype and would only use them to edge you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 it doesn't matter if your boobs are small or big HE WILL BITE THE THEM AND THE NIPPLES

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 thinks that there will be milk coming out and once he does...he starts thinking about you with a swollen belly... waddling around the house ughh he'll cum

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Joker likes to drill into you, but his cock probably won't fit all in

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 fucks you from behind and wraps his tattooed forearm around your neck, pulling your back to his chest

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 whispers with his deeeppp voice in your ears that you're doing good for him

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 HIS CUM IS SO UNEXPECTED its super heavy and milky, it's really hard to swallow but tastes good

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 his main priority in sex is making you feel good, that's it, he gains pleasure from that.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 YES TALKING ABOUT DICK EIZE its unimaginably huge....like that shit is fucking enormous shits like... 8.5 inches soft 9 inch hard

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 but hes super careful with you, slowly until you're used to him (soft at firsttt ughhh)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Especially on your first time, either way you are his first and he's yours so he's actually a virgin

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 you didn't believe that because Hajun observes and easily figures out your sensitive spots

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Dies when you cover him wth hickeys to mark him as yours, he wil do the same by the way, he likes it when you show them off but you don't have to.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 it's just a sign for him that your his and he's yours. He's so obsessive and territorial

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 scratching his back with your nails counts too

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 also one thing he's ashamed of is that he jerks off to pictures of you....not on phone but polaroids that he printed and keeps in his wallet (anyone who sees them gets a broken nose challenge, go!!)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 grips your ankle or hip and bruises when ruining you

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 walking is going to be hard on your cramped legs for the next few days :D

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 either way, sex with Hajun is exhausting and will make you feel heavy after tho his aftercare makes up for that

ᯓ W𖹭𖹭in ── ⪩⪨

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 SFW ⠀ᰋ

⪩⪨ Ugh this player, idk how to even start this bs with him

⪩⪨ So okay if he actually settled for a relationship (you must be some kind of angel...) he would obviously want his partner to match his freak

⪩⪨ Since in my FF he was childhood friends with you, it was a "first love" thingy so he's had a crush on you for a long time – and just the same...he probably observes his crush or gets extremely close with them before dating and starting a relationship.

⪩⪨ But seriously, he would love his partner a lot because they finally put his shit together

⪩⪨ BRAINROT . you + him = dumm.

⪩⪨ He loves it when you give him a lot of kisses esp with striking red lipstick...near his lips and he would leave it there.

⪩⪨ Same with lip balm, if you bought a new one, he'll give you a long smooch to try it or taste it

⪩⪨ Other than that, he loved PDA extreme...and flirting in Public, like c'mon he's not ashamed of anything

⪩⪨ Probably does on purpose too for people to see that he's your, winks mockingly at girls or boys who gawk at you two French kissing in the park

⪩⪨ If you're not very comfortable in public, he'll have you hold his jacket, wrap an arm around him or stay very close

⪩⪨ part of it so people know you're with him.

⪩⪨ Or he holds you by the nape and drags you along, the sleeve works too.

⪩⪨ He's camping at your house 24/7, just can't get enough of you

⪩⪨ Yes, his visits are just out of nowhere and pops up to day hi, drop of a gift then leave

⪩⪨ Would make you paint his nails, do his eyeliner and then do your makeup or suggest a new style for you HE LOVES STYLING IT'S CANON, I SAY SO

⪩⪨ Deffo wanted to be a designer once

⪩⪨ he likes when you wear his clothes and likes to steal your clothes :)

⪩⪨ So stupid but he cries watching sad movies and LOVES dramas like...the tea is boiling

⪩⪨ He knows many manyyy piles of Gossip too, but repeats the themes sometimes and you just go like "baby...you already told me that" "oh? Did i?"

⪩⪨ YEAAA NICKNAMESSS ughh he loves babying you and loves when you do it back 'doll' 'love' 'baby' 'Bae' 'babe' anything like that

⪩⪨ Yes ok he acts fruity but he can be so serious too, no he won't laugh when you're exhausted or not in the mood for his jokes that's when he'll be careful

⪩⪨ Takes you on many car rides at night, his hand stays on your thigh, tapping along to the rhythm playing from the radio of his car

⪩⪨ Loves piercings and gets curious if you have them in places where the public eye doesn't meet :)))

⪩⪨ But he's actually a soft spoken person, he can be, but he can also be VERY freaky n just vile

⪩⪨ Oh yeah he also loves when you two match, but he loves it when you wear revealing clothes, your his. Others can stare, they can try to touch 🙂

⪩⪨ Shares lollipops with you, bonus points if you also like lemon and any sour flavor

⪩⪨ No gen, its disgusting he licks it like crazy then gives it to you

⪩⪨ buys you a lot of gifts and rambles to you about his day Oftentimes

⪩⪨ Always snoops around your stuff and likes to have matching pfps, phone background n stuff like that with you

⪩⪨ Now.... don't speak about family with him...not yet.

⪩⪨ he's kind off bossy? But I does not like getting orders he can take them from you but don't tell him to change or for example stop certain behaviors

⪩⪨ if he behaves weirdly around you that just means that he's gotten comfortable with you enough to trust you

⪩⪨ talking about trust, he doesn't trust his crew with you...like not at all maybe joker but only for a few seconds

⪩⪨ Wooin can love you so much he starts to overthink it and it can cause some problems...

⪩⪨ yes he's weird and silly in the head but if he tells you his secrets or about his childhood then that means you're gonna be a long time together

⪩⪨ this dude DOES NOT like kids...

⪩⪨ but he's also a trickster, so wooin probably already observed all your behaviors and knows when you're sad, angry or lying.

⪩⪨ one thing he loves about you is your smile...Wooin doesn't notice the way people look or their personalities but the way their smile shines, he likes it when it reaches your eyes and it is just so genuine

⪩⪨ Takes you to Parties or clubs with him but you guys don't stay there for long and he understands of you don't want to go.

⪩⪨ Wooin trust you fully that xou wouldn't cheat on him but from a cheater himself, he's paranoid.

⪩⪨ He's actually very good at calming conflicts....and creating them

⪩⪨ Wooin isn't a person who likes to argue a lot, sometimes he can't take thing you say seriously...

⪩⪨ BUT he apologizes when he notices this, unlike Hajun, Wooin is a smoother talker and is good with both words and actions

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 ANGST ⠀ᰋ

⪩⪨ Being a smooth talker means that hes also a master manipulator....

⪩⪨ Yes he's dated TONS of girls before but he gave xou a certificate from the hospital that he doesn't have any sicknesses (you had to scream at him until he took it)

⪩⪨ Yes. A bright red flag...and im colorblind 🤔

⪩⪨ But i promise he's trying to change after getting together with you (that's what they all say...)

⪩⪨ Don't be surprised if some girl jumped at him in public calling him 'babe' NO he's not cheating, its one of his exes

⪩⪨ He immediately notices when you get frustrated or jealous and speaks with the so said woman directly, hard glares

⪩⪨ If they don't get the hint he'll fucking shove his tongue down your throat

⪩⪨ and Wooin likes making you jelaous...

⪩⪨ BUT OH! OH! WHAT'S THIS?? He gets so surprised if you don't stay quiet and actual humble his ex, falls in love with you for a second time, just smirks but it drops quick when you give him a pissed face

⪩⪨ Wooin and you got into an argument before because of this and the whole time he tried to calm you down instead of putting the blame on anyone

⪩⪨ And gets pissed when you tell him to leave your house

⪩⪨ He doesn't text you right away for the next few days and leaves you hanging but if you ghost him, he'll run back to you like a little puppy and beg for forgiveness, promising that he'll deal with this problem while holding chocolate and movie tickets in his hands

⪩⪨ Yes he has a lot of red red flags and bad habits that sometimes you won't be able to change

⪩⪨ Wooin doesn't like to change for others but if it's the person he truly loves, he'll try.

⪩⪨ Won't let you have close relationships with guys specifically the ones from the opposite team or his team hypocrite

⪩⪨ Ignores it if you call him that and this dude can get really fucking mad and jealous if he finds you laughing loudly at jokes from his teammates that were unfunny to him in that moment of fury

⪩⪨ He crosses his arms when he's angry with you and gives you silent treatment until you get back home where he speaks up about it and try to explain to you that he was disappointed and didn't like your behavior

⪩⪨ If arguments get so bad that you start crying, the guilt slaps him immediately in the face and he starts apologizing and hugging you, even if it was after something really deep

⪩⪨ HE DOES NOT LIKE SEEING YOU CRY?!

⪩⪨ Wooin would panic matter of fact

⪩⪨ seriously tho, he's bad with comforting others but can make you smile in a second with his silly jokes

⪩⪨ immediately switches the topics when you ask him about the future wooin hates to seek after what comes next and just tells you to enjoy the present, the future will come later.

⪩⪨ this sounds so mean but doesn't speak up when someone makes fun of you... he'll wait a few minutes until something (he knows it will) to that person and just brutally roasts them for it and can just sweet talk everyone into believing that person has sinned for eternity so its a one for one

⪩⪨ hes okay with you defending hum but keeps telling you that you don't have to.

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 NSFW ⠀ᰋ

⪩⪨ Okay but the punishment after misbehaving has you doing it on purpose sometimes

⪩⪨ This dude just edges you so hard until you combust and start begging him to cum

⪩⪨ ALWAYS WEARS A CONDOM he ain't getting no damn children any day

⪩⪨ Wooin loves loves lovesssss your mouth, pussy and boobs

⪩⪨ But your clit the most...loves the way it gets so puffy and sensitive after he's been running his tongue piercings all over it and teasing it with his forked tongue.

⪩⪨ And he's in for dick warming, mouth or pussy doesn't matter.

⪩⪨ ok, ok but...there was an image i saw once where a guy fucked girl while smoking...yes wooin

⪩⪨ So okay... he's slow during sex BUT ON PURPOSE. Loves the end effect it has on you and him so he takes it painfully chill so he can fuck you super fast after anf it has you squirming around

⪩⪨ Grips your hair or gropes your boobs

HICKEYS HICKEYS, MARKS AND HICKEYS

⪩⪨ bite marks. Dude took w fat chomp out of your neck and shoulder AND HE GETS SOOO PROUD WHEN THEY'RE BRIGHT PURPLE GREEN AND BLUE

⪩⪨ And puts his markings on display for the whole world

⪩⪨ Weirdly enough he likes biting your earshell too, thighs and the sides of your stomach

⪩⪨ He hungy ok ᵔᴗᵔ

⪩⪨ Presses down on your stomach when he's going in w hurry

⪩⪨ Makes you squirt sooo good

⪩⪨ Quickes are his favorites pulls you into a nearby bathroom and lets your pussy lips hold your panties to the side as he bucks into you

⪩⪨ ALSO PUSSY SLAPPING AND SPITTING ON IT

⪩⪨ One hot thing he does is spit on his palm then rub his cock to make it wetter like ughhhh

⪩⪨ HE'S LOUDER THAN YOU WTF??? Just moans and moans and makes you shiver by doing it directly in your head, holding your neck when you turn away

⪩⪨ His dickie isn't huge like jokers BUT its soo thick and has a nice curve that hits all the spots

⪩⪨ Wooin hopes that one day someone would walk in on you two fucking, while he's just sending you to another universe

⪩⪨ Expressions are everything to him, the way your tongue lolls out and your eyes roll back make him orgasm

⪩⪨ Asks you to send nudes and videos of yourself when he's at work or away for long time

ᯓ C𖹭mb𖹭 ── ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 SFW ⠀ᰋ

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 okay so first things first...its a miracle that these two agreed to share you

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 don't get me wrong tho, together they're literally the best dynamic. IM 100% SERIOUS.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 you're like the missing puzzle piece to Hajun amd Wooin, they both have mommy issues and need a warmth in their life, even if you're just as silly...you don't realize how touching you really are.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they would worship the ground you walk on lets be real, they're so whipped too, you could train them like dogs

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 both would NEVER leave you out on anywhere...this relationship is a threesome whee their love focuses more on you than each other...yes okay they also like each other but you're probably the grip that holds their sanity together

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 like these two arguing? Boom! You walk in and they're quiet or they'll feel your wrath

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 you're always standing in the middle, holding both of their hands

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 ALSO PLS TREAT THEM THE EXACT SAME wooin n joker are like little children who get easily jealous of each other

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 when sleeping, they're both holding onto you like Little infants... don't be surprised if one of them is sucking on your Boo– OKAY OKAY SORRY continue

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 okay but learn to lose personal space...they love your personal space

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 in all seriousness, it's the most fun you're ever gonna have with them, they're so silly and would take you on adventures everyday

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 unless they got work...

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 THEY SHARE THEIR CLOTHES WITB YOU im so sorry but im such a sucker for such actions...it makes them both so happy

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 anyways, you're protected and can sleep so soundly at night cuz you know exactly ain't no robber coming inside yo house to see a 201cm standing man who's actually a softie holding boxing gloves

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they share their money to buy u gifts •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they're so grateful too if you buy them gifts, if its a bracelet or necklace its never getting taken off

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 THEY'RE SO CUDDLY AND SO TOUCHY WITH YOU, you're getting head pats and kisses left and right

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 ANGST ⠀ᰋ

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 But of course...in every relationship they're struggles

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 so firstly, arguments....a lot with Hajun and Wooin... sometimes it's over who's gonna message you today... sometimes it's about who took this and that....and....badly sometimes it bossed around tasks from one to another to act better or behave

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun is okay with getting bossed around...he does by Wooin anyways but WILL NOT STAND FOR IT in a relationship...he will immediately tell you to say something to wooin whereas the other boy groans at him not to involve you

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 things can escalate quickly and your discomfort goes unnoticed until they both part ways and you end up all alone...which is highly toxic for you to angrily shout at them or text them that they're being selfish and acting like babys

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they apologize. Immediately.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 sharing is also quite a problem... seriously one day you're whooping their asses

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 other things are like.... speaking about rhe future.... something that Hajun likes but Wooin dislikes.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun wants kids. A big family whereas Wooin wants you for himself at the moment.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 AND FINALLY your fury at them after you can't find some of your clothes...esp panties, thongs and bras WHO THE FUCK IS WEARING THEM?! (It's wooin)

೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 NSFW ⠀ᰋ

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Ughh double penetration THEYRE TEAM TAGGING YOU

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 It's gonna be very fucking exhausting, your body is gonna be sore for weeks and that if they don't want to fuck right after the next day THEIR STAMINA IN UNIMAGINABLE??

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they use you for their training....🤭🤭

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Joker from behind and Wooin fucks you from the front and they work their way with you

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Your mouth would be occupied the whole time too, they would stop for breaks in-between where you would get smoches and a bottle of water

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun also likes it when you ride him while wooin uses your hand

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 They bith leave their (BIGG) share of marks on you AND YOU DO THE SAME GIRL, AIN'T NO BACKING DOWN

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Oh yeah, they take the "not stopping until..." Too seriously....fuck if you don't die right there

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Wooin would teach Joker some tricks on you, for ex. How to finger you properly in return, Joker tells him all your sensitive spots

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they're both up for sex everywhere, although a bit private because of Joker, he doesn't want to break someones nose because they saw you.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Both probably got a size kink with you and usually have you in the middle BUT if you switch roles and take lead 😳 they'll be shocked BUT GYAATTT they would enjoy it c'mon

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 JOKER AIN'T INNOCENT EITHER he's freaky too LOOK AT THOSE TATTOES

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 OH they both would tattoo your name on their bodies

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Wooin would go feral if you have a clit piercing or nipple piercings, would run his tongue over them OH AND he has a dick piercing...feels incredibly dreamy

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Hajun would creampie you Everytime and wooin would cum on your tummy, face or chest then make you lick it off his thumbs

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Talking about that, Hajun likes stuffing his fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 they're also ready to try anything new Bdsm, roleplay...

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶 Ughh they're both sooo skilled

FINALLY FINISHED UGHH IT TOOK SO LONG

I apologize if the last part and wooins part were a bit shorter BUT I WAS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS but i might keep adding some sooo yeah

Teehee i hope you guys enjoyed this...took some time lol

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