#my bro puts the b in bff

[jobesbabe]

Treats me right / Bukayo Saka SMAU

Reader x Bukayo Saka

warnings: reader gets cheated on, Jamal Musiala as an ex (he’s not a bad person, someone just had to take the piss) maybe swearing??

A/n- I don’t see many ppl write for Bukayo so I figured I’d give it a shot! This might be rubbish but here we go 😌

Bundesligarumors

liked by xavisimonsilove,user12 and 1,387 others

Bundesligarumors: Germany’s starboy Jamal Musiala spotted making out with a girl who is allegedly not his girlfriend Y/n L/n! Does this mean the pair has split or is Musiala in hot water!!

musialaluver ugh a new girl and its not me??

xavisimonsilove guys y/n still has the photos of them together up…. he probably cheated!

user54 how sad is that

view all 95 comments

crying, your phone buzzed from an unknown number and you checked it feeling defeated.

His words of “comfort” did nothing more than provide curtesy in your eyes, but to him, It was him telling you how beautiful and wonderful you were. How no man should ever treat you badly.

You kept in contact with Bukayo, and there was an obvious spark there, but you were scared to ignite it because of Jamal, and how you had seen the “Wag life” turn so sour before.

That modeling gig though, It changed the course of you and Bukayo’s “friendship”

yourusername

liked by bukayosaka87, yourbff, and 894,711 others

yourusername: Chanel. Timeless, iconic, THE BRAND.

bukayosaka87 WOW. 🔥🔥

trentarnold66 Bukayo what are you doing here man??? bukayosaka87 enjoying some chanel x y/n content…. user54 bro got called outtttt

yourbff DO I SEE POCKETS ON THAT DRESS??

yourusername OMG yes u dooooo

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finally you were not going to let your past trauma take control of you and you were just going to do it.

So what if Bukayo doesn’t end up being your soulmate! It’s just one date.

But one date turned to two and two to twice a week you were out with Bukayo. Before long, he was asking you to come to his games and support him like a Wag would.

You were his girlfriend, it made sense, but you had only ever been Jamal’s wag.

It would be new, being an Arsenal Wag for the beloved Saka, but you felt so intensely for Bukayo, you were willing to face that head on.

yourusername’s story

yourusername

liked by bukayosaka87, user5 and 643,521 others

yourusername: COYG!!

bukayosaka87 ❤️

trentarnold66 I THOUGHT YOU WERE A RED??

yourusername i still 🫶 u trentski

bukayosaka87 she just loves me more!

yourbff gunners are 🔛🔝

user54 breaking the internet w/ saka i see?

user98 real like wasn’t she just with Jamal??

user54 babe that was 6 months ago and he cheated on her…

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bukayosaka87

liked by benwhite, yourusername and 879,624 others

bukayosaka87: happiest man on God’s green earth

trentarnold66 is this why y/n never hangs w me anymore 😭😭

yourusername i do too still hang out with you liar

trentarnold66 not enough😕

yourusername 🥹❤️❤️

view all 47,812 comments

yourusername

liked by bukayosaka87, your bff and 563,519 others

yourusername: I’M SO PROUD OF YOU B!! I know the season felt bittersweet, but I’ll always remember how you put your heart into your game and how good it felt to be cheering for you in those stands of the emirates 🫶 Here’s a lil photo dump of my manssss

bukayosaka87 aww baby ❤️❤️

yourusername I love you!

bukayosaka87 I love you more!!!

yourbff It couple for real

user88 i love them

bayernmunichlover i don’t ship.

user6 nobody asked youuuu

view all 3,418 comments

yourusername

liked by harrykane, bukayosaka87 and 658,912 others

yourusername: I know it’s not the result you wanted but I’m proud you made it this far and how you played 🫶

bukayosaka87 time for holiday with my bae yeah

yourusername It’s long overdue 🙂‍↕️

yourbff england’s best!!

bayernmunichfann how did it feel to be back in germany?? 😏

user52 shut up you incel

view all 76,544 comments

bukayosaka87

liked by yourusername, trentarnold66 and 635,215 others

bukayosaka87: You know I treat my girl right 🏝️🍹

yourusername hell yeah you do

yourbff bukayo i need an invite next time!!

trentarnold66 cuuuuuuuute

user3 awww look how happy she isssss

view all 61,492 comments

yourusername

liked by bukayosaka87, user7 and 324,819 others

yourusername: i ❤️ my mannnnnn

bukayosaka87 my girllll

yourbff i know he treats you good!!!!

yourusername yes he doessssss

user62 y’all are the cutest and i swear this on my life

view all 47,710 comments

[firesighgirl]

athina’s endless list of fav seokjin fics

welcome! after almost 2.5 years of reading bts fanfiction and almost 1.5 year of deciding to use this untouched side blog as a bts fanfic review blog (bc i hate being a silent reader), i think it’s time to do a list of the seokjin stories that i liked the most! don’t forget to show love to all the fanfic authors!!! thank you for providing us such incredible stories❣️

key:  💖 indicates my all time fav stories

SERIES

crystallised saga by @floralseokjin (complete, s, a, f, fuckbuddies2aquaintances2friends2lovers)💖 

hideaway by @bonvoyagenoona (complete, s, a, f, childhood friends2lovers)💖

effleurer by @sugaurora (ongoing/on a hiatus, s, a, sex work!au, boss!jin, bdsm themes)💖

instatiable by @heartbeatan (complete, s, a, succubus!oc)💖

fire & desire by @joonbird (ongoing/on hiatus, s, a, fuckbuddies au)💖

my tiny secret by @personasintro (complete, s, a, f, mistress!au, unplanned pregnancy)

girls want love by @raplinesmoon (ongoing? idk im just enjoying the ride, s, f, a, sometimes ft.hobi)💖

satisfy by @suga-kookiemonster (ongoing, s, f, a, kim line series, sex work au)💖

the platonic collection by @joheunsaram (ongoing? idk im just enjoying the ride, s, f, a, bestfriends2lovers, bdsm themes, idiots2lovers)💖

by your side by @sodoyouknowbts (complete, s, f, a, roommates2lovers, idiots2lovers, ft.joon)

show me yours & i’ll show you mine by @ktheist (complete, s, f, a, bff’s big bro!jin)

blurred lines by @yoonia (complete, s, coworkers au)

off limits by @floralseokjin (complete, s, a, f, big bro’s bff!jin)

the devil wears armani by @floralseokjin (complete, s, a, f, devil!jin, human!reader)💖

of bears and bonds by @yoonia (complete, s, f, a, were-bear/bear shifter!jin, witch!reader, fated mates!au)💖

made-up love song by @floralseokjin (complete, s, f, a, dilf!jin, single dad! jin, teacher!reader)

9 months to fall in love by @floralseokjin (complete, s, f, a, unplanned pregnancy!au, strangers2lovers to put it simply)💖

refinery29 by @kpopfanfictrash (ongoing, s, f, established relationship)

feral by @ilikemesometaetaes (ongoing, s, vampire!jin ft. werewolf!tae)

whims & inconsistencies by @hisunshiine (complete, s, f, a, historial!au, pride & prejudice vibes)

the light of dead stars by @ahundredtimesover (complete, s, f, a, arranged marriage, fake romance, ft. ex!joon)

chip and dip by @demonhoseok (complete, s, f, fuckbuddies!au)

feeling nauti by @ohharrow (ongoing, eventual s)

the a-listers by @httpknjoon (complete, f, a if you squint bc we all felt ANGSTY at some point) and confidential (ongoing, f)💖

little do you know by @yoongiofmine (complete, s, f, a, idol!ot7 ft. reader, playmate!au)💖

acquainted by @xpeachesncream (complete, s, f, a, professor!jin, engaged!jin, ft. jin’s little step bro!jk)

paraluman by @muniimyg (complete, s, f, a, sm!au, ft.bff!jk)💖

into the rush by @minisugakoobies (s, f, a, bff’s bro!jin, dodgeball!au)

internal conflicts by @yoongiofmine (s, f, a, step siblings!au but they didn’t grow up together so it’s not weird)💖

ONESHOTS/DRABBLES

thank you, daddy by @ktheist (s, a, sugar daddy!seokjin, sugar baby!reader)💖

kairos and the follow up story, appetence by @luffles424 (two shot, s, a, f, a/b/o, alpha!seokjin, omega!reader)💖

warm this winter by @jamaisjoons (s, f, a, ft. ex bf/still bff jungkook, one night stand!seokjin)💖

all i don’t want for christmas is you! and the drabble by @minisugakoobies (s, a, coworkers, enemies2lovers)

aubade by @junghelioseok (s, f, one night stand, domestic vibes)💖

in the dead of night by @ot7always (s,f, friends2lovers, vampire!jin, human!reader)💖

sunglasses by @joheunsaram (pwp, dom!jin, brat!oc)

on the ropes by @raplinesmoon (s, f, a, ex boxer!jin, ft.jk) + the extra drabbles💖

arrogant by @dreamyjoons (pwp, enemies2lovers)

the end. by @jimlingss (a, f, prepare to CRY YOUR EYES OUT)💖

jealous by @hobisuniverse (pwp, idiots2lovers, friends2lovers)💖

god of mischief by @wwilloww (s, f, ancient god!jin, priestess!oc)

winter solace by @floralseokjin (s, f, a, friends2lovers, neighbours2lovers)

what he wants by @likeastarstar (pwp)💖

final sleigh and the drabbles by @floralseokjin (s, enemies2lovers, coworkers!au)💖

knotty or nice by @lavienjin (s, f, sugar daddy!jin)

once bitten, twice shy by @fantasybangtan (f, coworkers au, so much bickering)

salt + shadow by @floralseokjin (pwp, strangers2lovers, ft.incubus!tae)💖

view by @noteguk (pwp)💖

small tuna fish by @floralseokjin (s, friends2lovers)

launderette by @hamsterclaw (s, a, strangers2lovers)

call me papi by @jjksblackgf (pwp)💖

my type by @floralseokjin (s, f, virgin!jin)💖

copy room christmas by @feliix (s, workplace!au, boss!jin)💖

wet & wild by @jamaisjoons (pwp, friends2lovers)

glazed & dazed by @floralseokjin (pwp, pornstars!au)💖

sugar by @wwilloww (s, sugardaddy!jin)💖

wallflower by @heartbeatan (s, onenightstand!au)

ravished by two by @yoonia (pwp, a/b/o, ft.joon, fated mates!au)💖

opaline moon by @missgeniality (s, f, a, friends2lovers)

strings by @sugakookitty (pwp, s, f, dilf!seokjin, strangers2lovers)💖

kiss it better by @ppersonna (s, f, roommates2lovers)

last november by @kithtaehyung (s, a, exes2lovers)

messy by @minisugakoobies (s, enemies2lovers, bro’s bff!seokjin)💖

ghostin and pt.2 by @pradaksj (two shot, f, a, SO MUCH CRYING)💖

love, lust, and life mushrooms and following drabble by @miscelunaaa (s, f, a, established relationship)

pink lemonade by @jjksblackgf (f, implied s)

hit;record by @kithtaehyung (basically pwp, ft.yoongi)💖

winter whiskey by @kth1 (s, f, established relationship)

sin for you by @inkedtae (s, a, historical!au, priest!jin)

make you scream by @luxekook (s, monsters inc!au, monster!jin, human!reader)

fast lane by @yminie (s, f1racer!jin, pitcrew!reader, enemies2lovers)

switching positions by @lavienjin (s, a tiny bit of a, sex workers!au)

urgent matters by @aamalaaa (pwp, established relationship)

cool’n by @sugakookitty (pwp, sugar daddy!jin)

all wound up (harder) by @minisugakoobies (s, strangers2lovers, rockstar!au, ft.bandmate!jimin)💖

damelo dos, papi by @jjksblackgf (s, ft.hobi)

allez by @hamsterclaw (s, a, fencer!jin)

sunday by @here2bbtstrash (pwp, established relationship)

day 12 drabble by @minisugakoobies (f, s, established relationship)

count suckula by @dreamyjoons (s, f, friends2lovers)

all you’re giving me is friction by @hot-soop (s, f, a, lovers2enemies2lovers, surfer!jin, lifeguard!reader)

mood lighting by @sugalaritae (s, f, established relationship, dilf!jin)

knocked by @sailoryooons (s, roommates2lovers, streamer!jin)

just what i need by @sailoryoons (pwp, established relationship)

wallflower in bloom by @bluewhale52 (pwp, sugar daddy!jin)💖

christmas warfare by @gimmethatagustd (s, f, a, exes2lovers)

soarin’ by @aquagustd (s, f, a, established relationship, pregnant!reader)

shush by @mapofthesea (pwp, ft.tae, implied ot7 x reader)

roses by @taehyungsgrowl (s, f, established relationship)

cupid’s on holiday and picking peonies by @persephonesorchid (s, f, a, cupid!jin)

the one with seokjin and the marathon by @eoieopda (f, friends2lovers)

[weirdboi]

SHARK AND PIRANHA FANFIC AAAAA

Requested by: @salamireal

Shark-Lou

Piranha-Pepe

Lou and Pepe were having an argument. Pepe ate too many burritos(cuz he a dumb Lil bitch/jk) and threw up on Lou's new jumper he spent eternity to knit. Lately, it hasn't been going on the best for the two. Everyone had their moments, and fish bro were surely having their own now for the past few days. Pepe kept yelling, and Lou tried to calm him down cause he really didn't like loud noises.

"WAA WAA WAA! THAT'S ALL I'M HEARING FROM YOU FOR THE PAST 4 DAYS!"

"Pepe, stop yelling-"

"NOT LIKE I DID A CRIME! BESIDES, YOU RUIN MY STUFF TOO!"

"When have I ever?!"

"MY SUNGLASSES! MY MIC! THE LIST JUST GOES ON!"

"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"-Lou finally raised his voice back.

"WELL, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I ACCIDENTALLY DO THIS?!"-Pepe started chewing a matching necklace Lou made for him. Lou gasped and quickly went over, trying to stop Pepe.

"PEPE STOP!!"-But he kept chewing and chewing. Soon, he broke the necklace. Lou's eyes widen. Pepe's eyes widened too, as he saw he broke the necklace. He didn't mean to. It was just supposed to be a bit ruined, not entirely.

"C-Chico, I-"-but Lou didn't listen. He just got up and went to his room. Pepe felt like a jerk. Lou was his BFF since, like, always!! He shouldn't have let some stupid arguments get in their way of friendship. He got up, abd quickly went towards Lou's room.

Lou was in his room, crying into the pillow and hugging his plush. He hated arguments. Especially arguments between his friends. Pepe heard the crying, making him feel even worse... With a deep breath, he knocked on Lou's door.

"Lou...? Chico..?"

*Sob* "I-I w-wanna be a-alone..."*sniff*

That was a lie. And Pepe knew it. He knew Lou all too well.

"Chico, don't lie. Please...I'm sorry"-he felt his own eyes getting watery. Lou's tears were his biggest weakness.

"N-No...I *sniff* L-Leave me a-alone.."

"Chico, I ain't moving from this place. Not until you open that door"-Pepe said. He won't let Lou cry alone in his room. Not on his watch. After a few seconds, doors opened. Pepe hesitationlly entered the room and closed the door. He saw Lou hugging his plushie, his face into the pillow. He jumped over next to Lou, his voice shaky.

"L-Lou..?"

"What.?"-Lou's voice was muffled by tears and pillow.

"...I'm sorry, amigo. I'm so so sorry...I shouldn't have let a few misunderstandings get in our way of friendship. I never meant breaking this masterpiece, or your heart..."-tears filled his eyes. Lou looked at him slightly, seeing Pepe's teary eyes made him put his fin over Pepe and hug him close.

Pepe was very surprised by the gesture. But, didn't mind. He leaned into Lou's fin, few tears getting away. He whispered "I'm sorry".

"I-I'm sorry t-too... I always m-make everything a-about myself. You have e-every right to b-be mad..."

"Wha!? No no no Chico!! Don't speak like that-he made Lou look at him

"We all make Mistakes Chico. Nobody is perfect. Best friends make mistakes, too. But that's normal. Please, Don't be so hard on yourself."-Lou hugged Pepe, calming down slightly.

"T-Thank you..."-Pepe smiled at him, glad his big guy is calming down. For the rest if the evening, Lou abd Pepe were cuddling and made new friendships necklaces!!!

THE END AAAAAA

Hope ya ENJOYED CUZ I SURE DID/Lou lover

🐟🦈🐟🦈🐟🦈🐟🦈

[dogcodedcatboy]

pre relationship: 3, general: 3, 6, love: 10, 13, domestic life: 7 !!

hihihihihihi !!!! i cant wait to start s2 tonight i need to see my kittycat i need to see him !!!!! thank u for always sending asks my aaroman warrior o7 u should rb this ask game 2 so i can pelt u w waystarshipping and jermstone questions

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

absolutely fucking not!!!!!!

by the time any of the roys find out its too late, theyre already very much together. i think the fam knows abt aaron before 04x03 and like, willingly keeps him a secret (have 2 believe none of them would out a family member for personal gain. if not just to avoid the shitstorm for logan). some of them wuld obviously would prefer for roman to a) not be gay or b) at least not be dating a Fucking Weirdo. oh well!

aarons friends are also not. thrilled. for obvious reasons. reactions range from 'ok...u r gold digging, right? does this mean we can afford a hot tub :D' to 'morally/ethically what the Actual fuck is wrong with you bro???'

What was their first kiss like?

hmm the first time they kiss probably an impulsive. half-drunken thing. prolly after their first '''date''' (which roman insists is not a date despite calling him up and inviting him for dinner and drinks). it's rlly messy, roman is kind of an awful kisser at first (out of practice #nobitches) so aaron is kinda like...ok....but it's very endearing somehow.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

i could write a dissertation on. aaron and the roys. i think he's...polite? i mean, he knows roman is super close to them despite how fockin shitty they are to him all the time, so he's willing to grin and bear it. he doesnt like ken for Reasons (annoying on twitter, involvement in 'dog pound', annoying in real life)*, he's rightfully intimidated by shiv, he thinks connor is rlly fuckin funny, he has a weird psychosexual obsession w tom (as stated, would put tom in a saw trap), he thinks greg is cool and would like to talk about his record collection w him.

*authors footnote: i personally like kendall a lot i do love the fucked up brother dynamic between ken and rome BUT aaron is protective and an asshole and doesnt care abt nuance if youre mean to his boyfriend you go to the gulag for 1000 years ! aarons friends are hsi family! he lives w his childhood + college besties! they are all spectacular assholes as well so roman weirdly fits in! roman likes aarons bff because he is also a snarky asshole. one of aaron's college friends actually is from LA, so that's another person he can relate to somewhat. ovi he's a rich asshole tho and like, has to adapt to how normal people live and socialize (aaron and his friends arent even normal theyre like a weirdly codependent found family) but. they all kind come around to him! (will post extended oc universe lore someday on god)

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

i think they both are kinda stupid abt feelings and prefer physical affection, as sometimes its easier to manage than like, pouring your heart out. aaron is big on words of affirmation tho, once they r more comfy in their relationship/roman is more comfortable w receiving stuff like that.

Who remembers the little things?

aaron is def a romantic, he's big on anniversaries, quick to pick up little things like roman's coffee order, his favorite snacks, etc. roman is a little rusty but is surprisingly sensitive when he cares about someone. he's super in to aaron, so he makes sure to note all of aarons favorite movies and albums (so he can bring them up later and Totally sound like he knows what he's talking about).

[also they r a beautiful ocd (aaron) x adhd (roman) couple so in general aaron is Incredibly on top of things (or else he might die, who knows!) while roman is a fockin mess with remembering shit.]

Who kills the bugs in the house?

the real answer is gustav. he eats them. aaron will hold the cat up and he will take care of business.

[chaos0pikachu]

Okay, so I finally had time to log back into tumblr and see you explained about Midnight Museum but now I am even more confused. So like, Khatha is immortal, but Dome isn't? But they were ~sworn brothers~ in the 1800s? Or is Dome also immortal but he doesn't remember Khatha? Or does he remember him and that's why he's his shit employee? But like if I was remembered being someone's ~brother in arms~ I'm not gonna like be your employee, lol. Are they really running a brothers thing when this man is like on the ground with this other's man foot on his thigh and like giving him an anklet? AN ANKLET? In 2023? And they're straight people? And brothers at that? With a $3 BILLION anklet? Why does Off get to be paired with damn near every woman in this company but Gun can't be in a show with another dude being his man? THAILAND EXPLAIN (pointing at map like the america explain vine).

Okay, first, I love how stuck you are on the 3 billion dollar anklet cause bitch me to the fuck Khatha lmaooooo

Lemme see if I can break this down, some light spoilers:

Khatha owns the museum, we know this b/c he says so and he's wearing a sexy suit and has a sexy cane to boot. All mysterious supernatural building owners wear sexy fashion statements Hotel Del Luna taught us this. Khatha is immortal, but via a curse, so he's constantly sad and struggling. He's a wet cat, just sad, pathetic, and crying. It's very hot, good for him.

Khatha was cursed by his """"bro"""" Chan something like 200 years ago. Chan is played by the same actor as Dome (we'll get there stay wit me) so they share a face. Khatha found Chan passed out in a boat b/c God likes to gift angel faced twinks to struggling disabled men sometimes I guess. Khatha is an orphan so he had no name, so Chan names him "Khatha" which means cane/spector apparently so whenever Google translates tweets from Thai fans they always say "I can't believe cane/the mace did this" and it's unintentionally hilarious

Oh and Khatha names Chan, Chan b/c he "found [him] under the moonlight". Khatha and Chan are Tragic AF for some reason Khatha thinks naming the angel faced twink after the moon is like, a lead in to being brothers. So Khatha is like "hey 'let's be adopted bros now" and Chan is like....I'm new here so I guess? Chan also has magic, he's able to heal ppl. Eventually he accidently becomes like a worshipped deity in their small village and another dude named Boon is like his top worshipper. This all causes friction between Chan and Khatha cause Khatha's low key lonely and jealous.

Khatha is like "let's run away together just the two of us as brothers like how it used to be" and Chan's like, nah. Khatha tries to join the army so he can be worthy of standing by Chan's side and the army is like "we gotta burn the witch (Chan)" and Khatha makes a deal with the army that they'll let him join if he gives them Chan and they're like "we totally won't hurt your brother" and Khatha's like I totally trust y'all won't hurt my brother

The army burns Chan alive.

Chan cursed Khatha and we zoom back to the present where Khatha is the museum owner.

Enter Dome! Dome is also magical and at first Khatha wonders if he's like Chan's reincarnation or something but he's not. Dome is a separate being (??). Dome gets invited to the museum by Khatha and Dome's ex bff breaks in and steals a bunch of evil shit with some buddies. Dome feels bad and is like "I gotta help you get the evil shit back!"

Dome and Khatha go on Getting Evil Shit Back adventures and proceed to Have Moments and Khatha keeps touching Dome's face like it's going out of style. Also holding him cause Dome passes out more often than a frat dude during rush week.

After like, the 5th time of Dome putting himself in danger b/c he's brave but dumb and shockingly fragile Khatha is like "I'm buying you this protection anklet" and then fires Dome for his protection. The next episode 85% of Khatha's screentime is dedicated to pining after Dome, looking at his corkboard of Dome photos, gazing longingly and sadly at Dome's photographs, crying on the phone after Dome calls him to wish him well. It's pathetic, it's beautiful, it's romantic.

Other stuff like cults, the end of the world, that dude from Bad Buddy showing up, that dude from 2Gether also showing up, the two dudes from the Thai adaption of Cherry Magic are also here, a whole episode of soul crushingly attractive women some I think were in F4 are also here as well. There's also like, four versions of God, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse are here too. Chan shows back up too for funsies.

Dome ends up in like, an alt realm where he imagines Khatha to keep himself company and they look at the universe together. Dome is able to see real!Khatha by picturing the person he's "longing for". Khatha is hella determined to get Dome back.

Some more plot stuff happens, more crying, more resolving one's inner grief, a couple deaths, some deals with evil spirits are made. Khatha and Dome meet their world's version of God who 3rd wheels their floating rock date. They have and the height difference has a chokehold on me.

At the end Khatha has to find Dome even tho all the higher beings in the universe are like "don't do it" and Khatha is like fuck y'all I gotta find my "missing piece". They find each other, they hold hands and then run into the future together (away from gun fire and stuff like ya do).

So Dome's not immortal but he is magical, Khatha was immortal via a curse. The series is Khatha getting over a past love (Chan) and moving to a new love without guilt (Dome) and no one can convince me otherwise.

We all need a season 2.

[choupiee]

Okay but, imagine Chishiya and Kuina (no borderlands au and they’re in college) just being bffs or Kuina ranting at Chishiya for dress codes or talking about the most randomest shi-

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kuina: Oh my lord

Kuina: Chishiya, answer your damn phone

Chishiya: ??

Kuina: I’m too lazy to crash at your place

Chishiya: And that’s a problem why?

Kuina: Bc I got tea to spilllllllll

Chishiya: Well hurry up and tell me right now

Kuina: Heading, it’s about dress codes

Chishiya: Pass

Kuina: Bro c’mon oml-

Chishiya: Just follow the dress codes, it’s not that hard

Kuina: I actually did but apparently my jeans aren’t allowed bc of tHe hOLes

Chishiya: Sad

Kuina: Give me a good comeback to getting dress coded, and yes I think your smart so I’m asking you

Chishiya: “Nah I’m good”

Kuina: Oml Chi you little b

Chishiya: Just walk into a crowd of people and escape the professor, what’d they gonna do? Hurdle at you?

Kuina: Some of them would ngl

Chishiya: Bro that’s harsh

Kuina: Damn tell me about it

Kuina: Also I’m here bc Tatta, Usagi and Chota are begging for you to check their assignments

Chishiya: Am I suddenly a professor now?

Kuina: They thought you were when I described you to them

Chishiya: Girl what did you say??

Kuina: ‘stoic, calm, smarter than the professors, quite moody ect’

Chishiya: What am I? A tired leader, leading a whole group?

Kuina: YO YOU WATCHED THE HOBBIT THING?

Chishiya: Yeah I did because I was bored man

Kuina: I’m so happy you actually did something

Chishiya: Oh why no problem at all, fuck you

Kuina: And yes I did tell the others your smarter than a professor

Chishiya: How am I smarter than a professor?

Kuina: You pulled up with an actual counter-argument to my rant on a professor disregarding women getting their period products for free from the school’s office

Kuina: And I sent them that

Chishiya: I shit you not, did you actually?

Kuina: Yes I did b

Chishiya: Did they pull up?

Kuina: Sadly, no

Kuina: BUT-

Kuina: They did put the products for free after I sent that

Kuina: AND BRO DW I TOLD THEM IT WAS FROM YOU

Kuina: They kinda didn’t know where you are from so I did tell them you were at that one ‘apparently smart’ priv college

Chishiya: And you let everyone in the main gc know-

Kuina: Yes tf I did

Chishiya: I’m gonna cry

Kuina: That’s a first lmao

Chishiya: Fine I’ll check the assignments, I have nothing else to do anyway

Kuina: Sad, and I’m gonna tell them now

Kuina: They’re ecstatic, the others started sending in theirs in

Chishiya: Bro-

Kuina: DAMN NOT MY FAULT THEY ALL GANGED UP ON ME

Chishiya: Why you always start fights ong

Kuina: I’m not that bad chill tf out

Chishiya: Damn alr

Chishiya: Tatta sucks at math, Niragi’s not actually that bad, Ann’s too, Usagi’s pretty good, Arisu’s on thin ice, Karube is long gone, Chota is fine, got one question wrong and that will maybe-maybe-not affect his grade though

Kuina: Okay ty bby

Chishiya: Wh-

Kuina: I call everyone bby

Chishiya: Yeah duh

Kuina: lmao

Kuina: I’m bored

Chishiya: Do something

Kuina: Yo they all replied

Kuina: Everyone said ty btw

Chishiya: Even Karube and Arisu?

Kuina: Even Karube and Arisu.

Chishiya: Sad

Kuina: Damn Ikr

Chishiya: Yo got a text from my crusty af boss again, he said he needs me

Chishiya: You got all my permission to kill me

Kuina: Kk I will bby 💕

Chishiya: Your weird fr

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Slightly ooc, but hear me out-

[miumura]

GET TO KNOW ME — 🤍

— tysm for the tag bff @hannikz <3

tagging . . (no pressure; sorry for the tag/if you were tagged already!) : @wonieleles @urszn @son4taa @wonillaa @wonyoungsvirus @ox1-lovesick @yenqa

BIRTHDAY? — october 27 🫶

FAV COLOR? — green!! i love those lighter greens,, they are so pleasing to look at

ANY PETS? — no </3 had a fish but it eventually got flushed down the toilet 😞💔

HEIGHT? — 160 cm 😵 or like 5’3… the short person agenda lives on 🙏

HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU OWN? — oddly specific question but okay 😇 i say about 5-8 pairs?? idk i get new ones yearly but i always wear these two certain pairs LMFAO

FAV SONG? — sweet by tbz. its too good. (and yk its good when someone me has over 3k plays on it). tbz always puts out bops—just saying .

FAV MOVIE? — over the moon! i find the movie pretty cute ngl,, comfort movie frfr

IDEAL PARTNER? — jay. park jongseong.

DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? — bff how can i have children when i can’t even take care of myself.. plus younger kids kind of #scare me !

HAVE YOU GOTTEN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW? — im a minor who stays in their room like always. i have not 🙏 and whoever says yes to this part,, im concerned bff

WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING? — bold to assume im wearing socks. (JP JP) im wearing black socks rn cause im out 😵 rarely wear them indoors unless im at someone else’s house

FAV MUSIC GENRE? — r&b??? idk i rly like anything… anything catchy or sounds good, im adding it to my playlist ..

HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH? — one pillow for my head 🙏 i js have a plush next to me too 🫶

WHAT POSITION DO YOU SLEEP IN? — on my sides ALWAYS!! sometimes on my stomach tho cause it’s comfortable!!

SMTH U HATE WHEN SLEEPING? — when it’s too cold 😞 i like being warm but not THAT warm if ykyk.

BREAKFAST? — not a breakfast person.. i always feel not hungry/feel like im abt to 😵 if i eat smth.. i should change that tho </3 but whenever i do eat,, i eat like cereal, bread, or anything my mom cooks for me <3

HAVE U TRIED ARCHERY? — do those cheap plastic ones count 😓 (i suck btw)

FAV FRUIT? — cantaloupe HANDS DOWN. like esp those rly rly sweet ones, those r literally the best. runner ups would be strawberries n mangoes <3

ARE U A GOOD LIAR? — i mean…idk?

CURIOUS ABT MBTI? — tried a test multiple times, always got infp 🙏 i say its true too, all the stuff fits me LMFAO

INNIE OR OUTIE? — def prefer to stay indoors, but it doesn’t hurt to go outside once in a while

LEFTY OR RIGHTY? — righty ‼️

FAV FOOD? — sushi 🙏 it’s too good

FAV FOREIGN FOOD? — tteokbokki (is that how u spell it?)

CLEAN OR MESSY? — i prefer being a clean person; i hate being unorganized and messy… but really, it depends on my mood. 

MOST USED PHRASE? — um what?

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR U TO GET READY? — i don’t think it takes me too long? like give me 10-15 mins and im already out the door ..

DO U TALK TO URSELF? — who doesn’t?

DO U SING TO URSELF? — the effects of music

ARE U A GOOD SINGER? — im the ace of saf ofc !!! 😝 (JP. JP.)

BIGGEST FEAR? — what happens after death ..

ARE U A GOSSIP? — whenever there’s smth new,, the first thing im telling the info to is my friends 🙏 who doesn’t love doing that??

DO U LIKE SHORT OR LONG HAIR? — i have beef with short hair now.. like my haircuts in the past screwed me up fr. THEY DID ME DIRTY. so long hair (but not too long).

FAV SCHOOL SUBJECT? — science 🤞

EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? — definitely an introvert..

WHAT MAKES U NERVOUS? — fear of ppl constantly looking down/making fun of me 😞

WHO WAS UR FIRST REAL CRUSH? — dude some kid from 1st to like 5th grade… like i think i started “liking” him in 2nd but feelings started fading away once we kept moving onto grades ! this other dude would be like “bro ure blushing” and the guy i liked would go “whats blushing?” BRO WAS STUPID,, but my stupid guy back then ig 😓😓😓 younger me was wild

HOW MANY PIERCINGS? — two (one on both ears)

HOW MANY TATTOOS? — none !

HOW FAST CAN U RUN? — i say im pretty decent with my speed 🙏 watch me cough out a lung if i try too hard tho.

WHAT COLOR IS UR HAIR? — dark brown 🙏 natural hair 😇

WHAT COLOR ARE UR EYES? — brown!

WHAT MAKES U ANGRY? — hate it when people refuse to cooperate… like im being nice here and you’re being a straight up asshole. i hate it when i try to make up for smth ppl are like “hm” “yea” and don’t respond .. like js bc i said no the first time doesn’t mean u can be like that .. in conclusion : i get irritated at everything.. sometimes?

DO U LIKE UR NAME? — my name is cool 👍 don’t have issues with it at all

WOULD U WANT A GIRL OR A BOY IF U HAD A CHILD? — probably a girl, i feel like i wouldn’t be able to handle a boy. i wanna js have mother daughter bonding time 🙏

WHAT ARE UR STRENGTHS? — staying calm in situations / being convincing (idk) BRO IDK IM PROBABLY LYING TO MYSELF 😭

WHAT ARE UR WEAKNESSES? — being too nice to others .. like i would try to stick w my current friends and try not to hurt their feelings (prioritize them over me). since my social battery kinda runs out most of the time,, me feeling down is 🤕

WHAT COLOR IS UR BED SPREAD? — currently its like a white sheet with pink, yellow n green patterning (lines)

WHAT COLOR IS UR BEDROOM? — white ! not a big fan of colored walls…plus white goes with everything 🙏

done ! that took…a while.. but 🫶

[very-grownup]

Anime Superhero School: Callback Edition

CODENAME: Civilian Two POWER: This is Civilian Two, a dipshit who also needs to get rescued when a supervillain is feeling particularly ambitious, but not as often as Civilian One needs to get rescued WEAKNESS: This is Civilian Two, a dipshit who also needs to get rescued when a supervillain is feeling particularly ambitious STRENGTH: Less likely to get kidnapped than Civilian One because she doesn't try to dress like she's a superhero unlike SOME PEOPLE SHE COULD NAME (oh my GOD, Civilian One, get a clue)

CODENAME: Stupid Tyler POWER: Provides 60 seconds of distraction per villain on his entrance into a room as the villain has to pause their villainy in order to insult him WEAKNESS: If anyone ever cuts his stumpy little braid off, he will be powerless

CODENAME: Kinetic Kinoko REAL NAME: Kinoko Komori POWER: Hair functions as class 3-4 head armour if impacted hard enough WEAKNESS: Prone to anxiety attacks and fits of paranoia whenever she's in the same room as Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu the Battle Barber BACKSTORY: Moved to rural America from Japan at a very early age. Without cable television or internet, Kinoko spent much of her time riding her bicycle (and later, her dirt bike) and constructing obstacle courses and performing tricks and stunts to impress the rough boys and girls from nearby farms. One rainy day when she was stuck inside, flipping through the meager channels that the antenna was able to pick up on TV, she caught a few minutes of flickering footage of a true American hero. Her life forever changed, she swore she would one day become his disciple. The next day, she straddled her dirt bike and left home to find the mysterious “Super Dave” and become his student. Now back in Japan for high school, she vows to spread Dave-sensei's wisdom and ways to her fellow students.

CODENAME: Blade Face “POWER”: Face blades, very good kisser WEAKNESS: His face is as cuttable as a normal boy's TRAGIC DOWNFALL: Face blades FAVOURITE METAPHOR: Hedgehog’s dilemma

CODENAME: Satan's Bride POWER: Sick shredding, the constant attendance of low level demons protecting her from all who threaten her and also helping her with her homework WEAKNESS: Has never actually met Satan and is going to be so embarrassed when she does. BACKSTORY: The daughter of timetravelling hippies from the original Woodstock, she rebelled against them when she hit puberty, becoming a metalhead and vowing to never travel in time except forward, in the usual way. Her sick shredding in a YouTube cover of a Slayer song went viral all the way to hell, earning her the attentions of several generals of hell. The sweet horns are a recent development and gift from her fans below.

CODENAME: The Screaming Void REAL NAME: Rien Blanc POWER: With discipline, he can usually “empty” his mind so that a cute kitten or simple white space appears, however stress, anger, arousal, and hunger can all cause a variety of BAD SPOOKS to appear instead, which drive villains who see it to madness WEAKNESS: He's sixteen, you don't want to know what's up there when he's horny but it's not nearly as effective in a fight BACKSTORY: A young French manga artist who gained fame early in his career for his suspense/horror re-imagining of “Much Ado about Nothing”. In seeking ever more twisted inspiration for the sequel, Rien wandered into an "evil" bookstore (also known in the rest of the world as a used bookstore) and read some seriously bad shit that read him back. Now, the horrible things he imagines become visible above his shirt collar, and the book he left behind? THAT CONTAINS HIS REAL FACE NOW. BANNED LIMERICK THEME SONG: There was a young man born in France/Whose face matched the stripe on his pants/His power or ‘Quirk’/Allowed him to do work/By driving foes mad with a glance

[mythicalshipping]

I am not even fully through the ep yet but it’s just...So. Much. Rn. Lol. And from what I’ve seen/reblogged on here, it’s only gonna get More. So, here’s Part 1 lmao:

So, A.) this is very sweet (but also B.), like...what are you doing when the office door is closed/locked? ;) ;) ;) )

So, this was Link telling Rhett how Christy was encouraging him when he was DJing at the Christmas in Spring Mythical party (which apparently involved a physical demonstration for Rhett but okay). And just ;-; the Mythical OT4 feels of Rhett being like, ‘yeah, Jessie points out to you when you’re taking over a conversation’ and ‘you make this really weird, serious face when you’re concentrating; you’re wife pointed it out to me.” I JUST ;-; PLS.  

And then we get a story about how one time, Link was going out with a girl, and Rhett drove them to their date. And so it’s like “okay, a best friend doing his best friend a favor and giving him a ride, pretty simple, normal.” BUT THEY DESCRIBED IT AS ‘YOUR BEST FRIEND TAKING YOU ON A DATE’ AND RHETT PRETENDED TO BE THE CHAUFFER AND PUT A SHEET DIVIDING THE FRONT WHERE HE WAS DRIVING AND THE BACK WHERE LINK AND THE GIRL WERE SITTING AND I’M LIKE. So...you had to invent a whole character?!?! A more involved character?!?!? A ‘wouldn’t it be funny if’ character?!?! RHETT PLS. 

So then, before they start talking about the perfect day they planned for the other person (because “oooh let’s get away from the friendship-themed podcasts”) and Link goes on about how “oh the other person doesn’t have to be there for it to be a perfect day.” And Rhett’s like ‘okay so I’m your chauffer.’  LIKE.  HOW EVEN. 

...

Rhett talking about the night before the start of Link’s perfect day, despite him making the stipulation that the day needs to start and end in the person’s own bed.

So, Rhett talks about there being some kind of spa band and masseuses. He also specified at the top of the episode that he purposefully didn’t think much about this beforehand to be able to plan Link’s day with some spontaneity.  And it involves Link disrobing. 

You’re thinking about your bff’s perfect day on the fly, and this is like, step 1. 

OKAY THEN.  

So then he’s like, ‘okay, so remember that one time when you had two ladies giving you a massage and you got a b*ner? what if it was three ladies?’ 

HI YOU’RE MY BFF LET ME THINK OF WAYS TO MAKE YOU H*RD.

(Me knowing it’s three people because Rhett did the math for us ;) ) And then they’re talking about how ‘oh, let’s not just make it three women,’ and Link is all like ‘I want to be inclusive’ and then RHETT is like...

Two women (Jessie, Christy) and one man (Rhett)...I’M JUST SAYING OKAY LIKE...BRO. BRO. BROOOO. 

[incorrectquotesconaisseur]

SO GUYSSSS I JUST FINISHED READING RULE OF WOLVES AND WHAT THE HELL???? I am a MESS

(so here are my thoughts that I had while reading it)

❗❗RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS❗❗

• Lol Nikolai has a horse named Punchline, I love him so much

• Sankta Zoya Y E S

• Nina is sooo badass I love her - Brum needs to die btw

• Fjerda is a little shit

• "If not for Nina, their blessed termite eating at the heart of Fjerda’s government" - did I mention I love Nina?????

• Nikolai is a freaking mastermind and I love him

• OMG THEY HAVE AN ANTIDOTE FOR PAREM NOW???? HELL YEAH take THAT Fjerda!!!!

• Nina adopting Kaz's mindset when back at the Ice Court is what I live for

• UGH THE APPARAT

• Nikolai is soooo in love with Zoya I AM GOING CRAZY

• Zoya's "you forget that in Kerch greed is a virtue" gave me MAJOR Kaz vibes... I miss my crow babies

• Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I don't really like Ehri

• ZOYALAI NATION, HOW ARE WE??? ARE WE CRYING?

• I just REALLY love the found family trope and seeing everyone gathered in Zoya's rooms and Zoya curled up on the couch next to Genya I just AAAAAAAAA

• I absolutely adore the whole concept of the Darkling's prison and the CONSTANT sunlight he has to face HA - Alina vibes

• OMG "bring me Alina Starkov" WHAT THE FUCK I have literal chills ESPECIALLY after seeing the S&B trailer:)

• Nina being so confident in everything she learned from the Crows gives me so much serotonin I WANT MY BABIESSS

• Oh my god... I like prince Rasmus, he gives me major Nikolai vibes

• I draw immense satisfaction from Kaz and Zoya using "podge" as their preferred curse word :))))

• NIKOLAI CAN SEPARATE HIMSELF FROM HIS DEMON???? King behavior

• HOLY SHIT ALINA AGREED TO THE MEETING here we go again, fam

• I'm seeing Nikolai talking a lot about accepting his death and being undisturbed by the prospect of it and it feeaks me out - if he dies, I die with him

• Random, but: they need to get the thorn stuff from the Order of Sankt Feliks or whatever, right??? Maybe they have to steal it... and they would require expertise... MAYBE SOME CROWS PLS???????? (I am such a clown)

• Okay wait... so the letters that prove Nikolai is a bastard are in the druskelle sector... PLEASE TELL ME NINA HAS TO BREAK IN THE ICE COURT the fact that she is back there ALONE makes my heart clench so hard... I MISS MY CROWS

• FUCK ALINA SHOWED UP (also Oncat apparently and now I want to cry about Harshaw again)... AND MAL I can't take this I AM HYPERVENTILATING

• I AM LEGIT ON THE FLOOR Yuri is still there FINALLY understanding that the Darkling is evil AND NOW MY MAIN MAN GOT HIS POWERS BACK oh, I love the chaos

• NIKOLAI FUCKING CARRIES ZOYA'S RIBBON IN HIS POCKET nobody fucking touch me

• THE WEDDING IS FOR GENYA AND DAVID????? I AM SOOO CONFUSED what the heck

• Nikoali is the most fucking badass amazing cunning freakishly intelligent idiot I have ever seen in my entire life, my love for him is immesurable, I cannot put into words just how awesome his awesomeness is TAKE THAT MAKHI YOU BITCH

• OH HELL NO the demon is trying to escape SMACK THAT BITCH NIKOLAI BABY

• Oh wow, Rasmus is crazyyyy af he isn't anything like Nikolai my perfect boi SORRY

• OMG Nikolai's dad us a good guy??? I feel so sorry for him... SO NIKOLAI WAS RIGHT TO BE A ROMANTIC huh

• FUCKING HELL again with the nichevo’ya???? Darkling bby, what the HECK

• Nononononooo NO NOOOO NOT DAVID WHAT THE FUCK LEIGH

• "This is what love does" one of the most powerful quotes tbh

• Wait... they want to???? STEAL??? titanium from the Kerch??? .... DOES THIS MEAN.... C R O W S?????

• Okay but... the Darkling's POV? POWER MOVE I love it!!! And the fact that he uses Aleksander as his name with zero reticence now is just *chef's kiss*

• I'm sorry but... I don't like Mayu's chapters I AM SO SORRY I DON'T

• Nina is my badass queen STEP ASIDE PEASANTS

• All these SoC Easter Eggs and mentions are driving me insane

• Idk why but imagining the Darkling drinking beer is sooo funny to me

• I AM LOSING MY SHIT they are in Ketterdam KETTERDAM does that mean ....DOES THAT MEAN ....I better see my Crows or I am throwing hands

• The Zoyalai conversations in this book are KILLING me

• OH MY FUCKING GOD so Kaz took the Emerald Palace over and renamed it THE SILVER SIX???? LIKE???? I AM LEGIT CRYING???

• Ummm...Zoya, honey, WHY do you want to VOLUNTARILY stay away from Nikolai, HUH?????

• THE ONLY REASON HE AGREED TO HELP NIKOLAI WAS BECAUSE HE GUARANTEES INEJ'S PROTECTION if that's not L O V E idk what is YAAASSS KANEJ

• FUCKING SHIT JESPER!!!! IT'S JESPER!!!! WYLAN!!!! I AM FAINTING MY BABIESS

• The Crows' banter is WHAT I LIVE FOR

• Kaz is the most cold, badass and calculating motherfucker on the planet, I love him soooo much

• No NO NOO JORAN IS THE ONE WHO KILLED MATTHIAS????? HOLY SHIT I am sooo scared LEIGH WHYYYY

• Kaz's reaction to Nikolai's demon is legit the funniest shit ever

• Kaz and Nikolai are bffs - THIS IS HEADCANON LEAVE ME BE

• Queen Leyti has severely disappointed me

• I am having waayyyyy too much fun reading about the Darkling among blindly faithful monks - this is the stuff of sitcoms

• (I know the Crows only had a cameo and they won't pop up again, but I can't help desperation wanting to see Nina reunite with them and PLEASE GIVE ME INEJ!!!)

• Honestly, it's pretty cool getting to have a look in the Darkling's head - it's SUPER fucked up

• OOOOO the blight vs the Darkling = the only confrontation I want to see

• FATHER AND SON REUNION

• I don't care much for Hanne x Nina, but I have to admit that they make a very cute couple

• FUCK THEY BROKE STURMHOND'S BLOCADE FUUUUCK

• WAIT NO it was their plan all along HOLY SHIT electricity RULEZZZZ who knew physics would prove THIS useful???

• UUUGHH FUCK THE APPARAT I am so sick of this guy - Zoya was right, they should have killed him

• I am really pissed at the Darkling- YOU FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH RAVKA NEEDS YOUR HELP, YOU SEE NIKOLAI'S BRAVERY, YOU KNOW YOU CAM HELP, AND YOU DO NOTHING??? BRO WHAT THE FUCK

• HELL YEAH ZOYA IS A DRAGOOON fuck some shit up sweety Y E S

• MY SKIN IS CLEARED AND MY CROPS ARE WATERED BY THE DARKLING RAISING A MOB TO CALL ZOYA "SANKTA"

• Also... the Darkling winking at Nikolai? FLERT

• WHAT THE FUCK???? HANNE DIED??? holy shit, why???? WHY CAN'T NINA BE HAPPY???????

• Nikolai is an absolute SAVAGE in a debate

• Idk what to think abt Rasmus... he was kinda badass for standing up against Brum

• SOLDIER. SUMMONER. SAINT. slap me and call me a hoe I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT

• ZOYA AS QUEEN, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

• Okay I stan the Darkling again

• ZOYALAI IS CANON I REPEAT ZOYALAI IS CANONNNNN

• OKAY WOW HANNE IS A FULL-ON BADASS yep, I stan

• I really???? LOVE??? this ending for the Darkling??? Idk but it is VERY fitting

• ALINA!!!! AT ZOYA'S!!!! CORONATION!!!! my life is complete

• FUCKING SHIT INEJ!!! INEEEEEJJJJ my queen my love AAAAAA

• The conversation at the end between Alina, Zoya and Genya DESTROYED ME

• STEALING THE HEART OF SANKT FELIKS yes please BRING THE CROWS BACK!!!!! I NEED ANOTHER CROWS SEQUEL!!!!

• I fainted, I ascended, I DIED at the last page

• NOW I NEED A SEQUEL!!!

• Leigh, you ARE goig to write what happens next, right? RIGHT? RIGHT????

[fanaticfangirl001]

Headcanons For Being Sarah's BFF and Dating Sam Wilson

Supporting Sarah and the boys while Sam was blipped.

Y/n offered to move in but Sarah refused.

Trying to hide the relationship from Sarah at first

She found out really quickly because she knows you.

Sam worries about you while he’s away with Bucky.

Sam calls you when he can.

Joaquin calling you once and the three of you now have wine and whine nights/ Sarah is invited as well.

The boys really like you, and call you Auntie Y/n.

You help out with homework and projects if it’s something in your wheelhouse.

Zemo tries to taunt Sam with your existence and the danger you would be in if he becomes Captain America.

Z-“All it takes is one time...one time you’re not fast enough. You don’t save her.”

S- “Man, do you ever shut up!”

B-” I could shut him up.”

John Walker tries to set up his wife and Y/n to be friends because it must be hard having hero boyfriends/husbands.

J-” It’d be nice for them.”

S-” Y/n doesn’t like people, and she has a best friend already. My sister.”

J- “Dude, that’s like the one bro code, don’t date your sister’s friends.”

S- “Bro code, are we twelve?”

Being with Sarah when Karli calls.

S- “What?”

K- “Hand the phone to Y/n, now.”

Y/n: “ Sarah, you look like you’re gonna faint.” *takes the phone* Who is this?

K- “Karli, I just need to talk to you.”

Y/n: Well you have my attention.”

Sarah packs up the kids and takes them to your place and spends a few nights after Karli’s threat.

S- “Y/n are you guys okay?”

Y/n: A little shaken, but fine. I’m more pissed than anything.

S-” Take a breath.”

Y/n: Sam if she hurts you I’m wringing her neck. These hands are rated E for Everyone.

S-” Easy, baby girl. I’ll be home soon.”

When Sam returns Y/n tackles him with kisses.

B-” Me next.”

Y/n:*looks up from Sam*

S: In your dreams. *helps Y/n up*

Y/n watches from the porch as Sam’s training.

She puts out the first aid kit when she sees Sam nearly bust it to avoid getting hit by the shield.

After a few hours she comes back out with some lemonade, she pats a spot on the steps beside her. Sam sits with her.

Y/n: I know you don’t need anyone else telling you what to do. But I need you to know that I’ve always thought you’d make a good Captain America.

S: Why is that?*wraps an arm around her.*

Y/n: Your heart. Too damn big for your own good. It’s what they need.

S: They?

Y/n: Yeah, the big three are out there. Someone needs to kick ass.

After the cookout, Y/n stays behind helping the boys make a leftover plate.

S:Can I steal you for a minute?”

Y/n: Sure *Walks with Sam to the boat, he helps her and then joins her. He’s behind her.

S- I’ve been thinking about us.

Y/n: Captain America is going to be a commitment.

S- I’ve never been afraid of commitment. Find it kind of exciting.

Y/n: I understand, Sam, don’t feel bad. I won’t tell Sarah.

S: No, Y/n turn around. I don’t think you understand.

Y/n: Sam I..*she turns around to find Sam on a knee holding a ring.*

S: Will you marry me?

Y/n: Yes.

[saviorofunicornsinneed]

A summarization of the 2012 Avengers fandom:

(To my knowledge obvi because I wasn’t around at that time tho I’m wishing I was…pretty much always)

*clears throat* Okay so—

Everybody lives in Stark Avengers Tower

Natasha knows all (canon tho lbr)

Thor being obsessed with pop tarts (…why?)

Team Bonding

(movie nights, team dinners, paintball, game nights, etc…)

Clint always in the in the vents

(most of the time spying on the main ship’s couple-y moments and reporting-spilling the tea- to ‘Tasha)

Speaking of which-

Calling Nat the nickname ‘Tasha (this one’s cute even tho it what usually just Clint)

But also not just the vents- top of the fridge as well and also a random bookcase for whatever reason..

Steve blushing…a lot

Thor having no concept of regular volume or an ‘inside voice’

(always shouting his sentences and-for whatever reason-always texts with the caps lock on)

Clint & Tony prank wars

Steve’s Puppy Dog EyesTM

Jarvis and Tony being bffs

Main action (in the fic) happening on the team common room

Tony constantly upgrading the other’s suits/gear

(because he cared and didn’t want anything to happen to them 🥺 but shush don’t tell 2012 tony that 🤫)

Natasha just always cleaning/sharpening her knives at the table(subtle threat/reminder she could f u up if you try something? Possibly)

Science bros to the extreme

(like wow some people really stressed that- always having them in the lab when someone couldn’t find them on the other floors)

Steve being the ‘Mom’ of the team

Steve always having to haul Tony out of his lab for team dinner

Bruce being the most comfortable and outspoken with Tony-he let’s that sassy side we all know he’s hiding, out- and especially in the lab (yep, circling back to science bros)

The team trying out the prototypes of Tony’s upgrades on their suits

(sometimes hilarious disasters occur 😆)

Tony always covered in grease(from the lab)

Clint being the only one allowed to do certain things with/to Nat while the others couldn’t and could only wonder how did he not get stabbed for ruffling her hair she would’ve poisoned my coffee if I did that-shut up tony-don’t you tell me she wouldn’t have done the same to you, Capsicle-

Capsicle insult/nickname being a thingTM

Clintasha friendship goals

But also Clintasha being a subtle married ship- making the rest of the team wonder are they together orrr…? (but being to afraid to ask for clarification)

Pepper dropping by weekly to check in on the team

Make sure they haven’t done more damage than the last time she was there

(most of the time PR but it could also be actual physical damage to the tower when they got into a playful argument that escalated)

And she(Pep)always expects Natasha to be better than them and on her side with the exasperated eye-rolls

And she is, mostly

But sometimes, she likes to be in on the fun with her boys

So enter Pepper- who is utterly aghast because et tu, Natasha? 🤭

(Nat-on those occasions- just shrugs and smirks like the badass she is because-unlike the boys-she’s not afraid terrified of Pepper)

(looking at you tony)

Steve calling Pepper, “Ms. Potts” almost religiously

Steve looking up at the ceiling when talking to Jarvis

Tony’s HeightTM

(you guys called him short but I mean he’s literally almost as tall as Steve?? it’s just a few inches 😂😂)

Thor’s All-Speak (wish I had this)

Tony being obsessed with coffee

Like seriously

You guys had him drinking his seventh cup by the first 10 paragraphs

Pepper-or Steve-having to put a limit on how many cups Tones is allowed to have

(and back to nicknames, I love that Tones was one for tony)

Clint&Tony agressively playing Mario Kart with each other

Oh and of course, #Stony❤️🤍💙 was main ship if you’d didn’t do #Pepperony 😜

Those are the main ones that I can remember but tell me if I’m missing stuff pls

(I’ve seen other posts like this and I wanted in *pouts*)

[savoryscribbles]

Kaminari Relizes He Might Be Bisexual

Main masterlist

Bnha masterlist

So I love Kaminari, Shinsou, Bakugo, and Kirishima, and I ship them all with myself. But subversive that’ll never happen I also ship them with other characters, I love Kiribaku, Tododeku, and and Shinkami, because I’m a sucker for the grumpy/rude x ball of sunshine trope, it’s my favorite ever. So here have this drabble I have made up which is based on this post here by the lovely @paunchsalazar specifically the first panel. I hope I did it justice. :;(∩^﹏^∩);:

Also, haha, Sweater Weather played while writing this, completely by accident, I just put my playlist on shuffle, and I have over 1,000 songs on there so it was like over a 1/1000(probably less than that? Idk how shuffling works on spotify) that it would play and it did lmao.

Warnings: Angst(I guess it is considering the kind of stuff I write), boi questioning his sexuality, fluff, platonic comfort(I guess)????, swearing, Kirishima being the best gay bff everrrrr, Shinsou being lowkey heteronormative(even tho he’s big gay), teeny tiny manga spoilers(only about the stuff right after where the anime leaves off), Shinsou being oblivious(surprising I know)

Another thing I’d like to say, this isn’t my usual content, I usually only post x reader stuff, but I hope you all enjoy nevertheless. Without farther a due...

⊱ ❀ ✿ ꕥ ✿ ❀ ⊰

Kaminari knew he liked girls since he was younger. Sure he had gay friends, and sure he might have thought once or twice ‘do I like boys?’ ‘Am I gay?’ But he always shot down these questions quickly, because he liked girls, he can’t be gay if he liked girls, right?

Then why did he feel this way? Why was his heart racing whoever Shisou walked by? He thought this feeling was solely reserved for girls, at least for him. Need less to say he was confused. And scared, what if he wasn’t straight? He knew he had no reason to be scared, and there was nothing wrong with not being straight.

Shinsou knew he was gay. He never likes girls as more than a friend, and when he started his teen years and looked at yah know... porn. He always found himself to be the most turned on by the male, even when he first started, and watched the most basic boring ass porn ever, he’d always focus on the man more.

So while it was a surprise that he found himself staring longingly at the blond fuckboy, it was not because he was a boy. His suprise had was more because Kaminari was not his type, at all. His type were the most stereotypical ‘bad boys’ or people who were openly gay. He liked to say he didn’t have time for people questioning themselves.

Both of them on the outside acted unfased by their realizations. Well, Kaminari tried, he failed though. Shinsou didn’t though, which made Kaminari more worried. Because what if Shinsou doesn’t like him?

All of these thoughts about his sexuality ran through his head nonstop, ever since Shinsou had done the joint training with classes 1-A and 1-B. And he tried to push them down, and hope they went away, but they didn’t. And they got worse when Shinsou joined 1-A. And one day Kaminari was just so sick of being confused, and had the courage to actually talk about his thoughts, so he brought it up to Kirishima. ‘He’s gay, so he would know stuff, right?’

“Hey. Um Kirishima?” Kaminari started in shire of where to begin.

“What’s up bro?” Kirishima responded.

“Nothing. Not nothing though, there’s something I need to ask you.”

“Well shoot bro, anything you need you can tell me.” Kirishima said, and luckily his encouraging words helped boost Kaminari confidence.

“How do you know if your gay?” Kaminari asked quickly.

“Hmm, well that’s kind of difficult, I guess I didn’t know if I was gay, I kind of just didn’t like girls, and found boys more attractive.” Kirishima answered, tapping his chin.

“Why do you ask? Do you think your gay?” Kirishima asked.

“Well no, because I like girls, I know I like girls, I like them a lot, but there’s a boy, and he makes me feel how I feel when I see a really cute girl.” Kaminari said nervously, finding it difficult to actually put his feelings to words.

“So you think you like boys and girls?” Kirishima questioned, trying to understand the situation at hand. Kaminari nodded, saying silent.

“Well to me it sounds like your bisexual, if you want a label for it, you don’t need a label if you don’t want to though.” Kirishima deduced, trying time help his friend the best he could. But Kaminari nodded and said a simple ‘thanks’ before walking away.

‘Bisexual huh? Bisexual, I like girls and boys, I am bisexual’ Kaminari said inside his head over and over again, testing how it sounded. He liked it, it brought him peace he hasn’t felt in a while. ‘I am bisexual. I AM BISEXUAL!!!!!’

But just because he knew his sexuality doesn’t mean that he has the confidence to tell the guy he fell for. But it’s a start and he’s happy.

Shinsou found it increasingly harder to ignore his feelings towards Kaminari. Especially when they sat right next to each other, or when they trained together, or when Kaminari invited him to a study session with Kirishima and Bakugo, or when Kaminari would sit next to him at lunch.

His schedule consisted of, wakings up, think about Kaminari, get read for school while thinking about Kaminari, go to school while thinking about Kaminari, pay attention in school but inevitably getting distracted by Kaminari, go back the dorms and in his room, study while thinking about Kaminari, stay up late while thinking about Kaminari, go to bed, and repeat. This annoyed him to no end. ‘Why wont that straight fuckboy get out of my head?!’

He always did this whoever he fell for a staight boy, he’d push all the feelings down until they were gone, and it worked, so why they fuck wouldn’t it work this time? Whatever was happening, he was not having it, he was fucking done with these feelings, and one solution he never did was confess. But that was the only solution he had left.

Kaminari was ready. He was ready to tell Shinsou his feelings, he wasn’t ready for rejection but that’s not something he wanted to think about. He had just came back from the nearest floral shop, and was making his way to his dorm room, when he ran into Shinsou. He almost dropped the flowers he got. Which was something he didn’t want, he had to pay extra to get it custom made with the flowers he wanted. The bouquet consisted of blue, purple, yellow and black flowers, all colors he knew Shinsou liked, but they also represented both of them, the blue and purples for Shinsou, and black and yellow for him.

‘Oh he must be on his way to ask out a girl.’ Shinsou noticed. He hated the sting he felt in his chest, but that’s why he was here.

“I need to tell you something-“

“I need to tell you something-“ They both said at the same time.

“You can go first.” Kaminari said, as Shinsou went silent.

‘Why did he need talk to me?’ ‘There’s now way right?’ ‘No no no.’ ‘I couldn’t even date him if he did.’ ‘I don’t date people like him.’ He was to distracted by his thoughts to hear Kaminari speak.

“Hello? Earth to Shinsou?” Kaminari said waving his hand in front of him.

“Oh sorry, what did you say?” Shinsou respinded snapping back to reality.

Kaminari laughed “I just said you can go first.”

‘I love his laugh.’ ‘No bad Shinsou! No feelings no feelings for straight dudes!’

“Okay. Well I wanted to tell you... I find you attractive, like really attractive, like in the gay kind of way. But I know you’re straight, which is fine, I just need to tell you so I can get over you and move on with my life.” Shinsou said with a straight face.

Kaminari stood in shock at what he had said, happy the he felt the same. However Shinsou took this shock as the ‘suprised a gay guy likes me, a straight guy.’ Kind of suprise, so he nodded and started to walk away, which made Kaminari come out of his shock.

“Wait! That’s what I wanted to talk about though!” Kaminari said running after him. Shinsou was taken aback as he heard Kaminari’s words. He turned around to face him.

“I like you too. I find you attractive too.” He explained

“Oh and these are for you, I’ve never dated a guy before, but whenever I go out on a date with a girl a bring her flowers.” Kaminari nervously put his hand with the bouquet out, while the other found the back of his neck.

Shinsou was confused, Kaminari liked him, but he mentioned girls. He had no problem dating bisexual guys, but he had one to many experiences where they would say they’re bisexual, but end of being straight and breaking his heart.

He took the flowers “uh, thanks I guess? I’ve never gotten flower before.”

“But about the like me and girls, are you just questioning? Are you bisexual? What’s going on there?” Shinsou asked.

“Oh, umm. Well I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual, I talked to Kirishima, and he suggested it to me and I liked it, so yeah.” Kaminari shrugged.

“You don’t just ‘like’ a sexuality, it’s not something you choose.” Shinsou responds, starting to get angry, ‘so he might be messing with me huh?’

“No no it’s not like that! The label felt comfortable, like more right I guess? Than straight?” Kaminari rushed, trying to explain himself.

“Look I get that you like me, and I may like you too, but I don’t date guys who are still trying to figure their sexuality out.” Shinsou responded, and started to walk away again, he might not stay true to his words if he didn’t.

‘He’s to cute. Why does he have to be cute? He’s probably just straight.’

“Wait!!!” Kaminari cried, he wasn’t just going to let him get away, not when he knew Shinsou liked him too.

Shinsou didn’t stop this time, he kept going. ‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around. You don’t date straight boys. You told him, these feelings should be gone!!!!’

“Please!!!” Kaminari said, his voice getting closer to Shinsou. “Please wait let me explain! I’m not confused about my sexuality, I figured it out I’m just having a hard time putting it into words!”

‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.’ ‘Fuck it.’ Shinsou turned around to find Kaminari right behind him, and he did something he’s never done. He grabbed Kaminari’s shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. ‘His lips they’re soft, so soft.’

Kaminari stood still for a moment before he started to kiss back. Snaking his hands around Shinsous neck.

“Was that as good as kissing a girl?” Shinsou asked after pulling away.

“Honestly? It was better, way better.” Kaminari reponded before kissing him again.

And it would be one of many kisses they would share.

[mantra4ia]

Lucifer 5x06 "Blueballz" reaction'd w/ spoilers

August 27th 2020

Pre ep. thoughts: This is the episode where Lucifer and Chloe finally sleep together, with the title like that how could it not be? The writers aren't even trying to hide it from us anymore.

That's a red herring. Oh what teases.

Finger locking foreplay? Yes.

He's holding up the crime tape for her...yeeees.

"Excuse us" not me, Us. ‼️‼️⚠️

Don't try to fool the lab tech. Ella sees all the evidence. They drove together. They're flirting at a crime scene. They are like high schoolers. Lopez knows.

"We have about 500 potential witnesses, that are all drunk and most likely very high." Lucifer has never looked so disappointed that so many people were on drugs.

Lucifer about DJ Karnal: "One DJ with a modicum of talent...but does everything have to be about sex" you waltzed right into that one...

Finally, we get to see an ex that's not Dan. Compared to Lucifers library of exes, It shouldn't be a problem. But it still seems to ruffle his feathers just as much.

"Cherry Jane?" Are you kidding me? That's too much temptation for Lucifer to ignore. That's like personal torment straight from God.

Jed: "are you still with Dave" Lucifer: "Dan!" You know we're in deep jealousy territory when Lucifer is defending Dan without a second thought.

Jed: "Are you in a relationship?" Ooooooooooooooooh noooooooooooooo! Lucifer's face does not like that.

You have no idea how close you are to death you are Jed. You've got a devil on your shoulder.

Lucifer: "The Detective had a child with you and I never felt the slightest bit threatened." Zing #1

Uggh, I hate those protesters. Sidenote: This episode feels very personal to me. Jed supporting a low income housing project which is awesome, and people are protesting for "the quality of their neighborhood." We have a similar development in my neighborhood except it's not low income housing. It's a project to turn a vacant hotel property into a mental health and rehab facility. Yet people in the neighborhood are affluent and are constantly protesting because they're worried about property value and the quality of their neighborhood and their schools. I'm so sick to death of it. I would do exactly what Chloe did. So much kudos to that woman. Great job on that bit writers!

Jed named the charity after Chloe. "He's trying to get close to you again. / No one would go that far just to be near me." 💜 "I did go to hell and back for you twice but who's counting?" Oh snap! 😈 Lucifer is tripping hard.

Chloe: "Are you jealous?" Lucifer: "Of that man child who scratches records for a living." Zing #2

At least Charlie doesn't have wings popping out everywhere.

Dan: "I have faith in you pal" Amenadiel: "Great cop, great dad, and your hair is so high" Dan and Amenadiel, bff's are too precious for words. #Dandielion

Lucifer's solution to a snake is poke it with a stick - how very Whovian.

"Chloe dumped you?" Oh man, you can just see Lucifer's nerosies are going into overdrive. There's practically smoke coming out of his ears.

"Lucifer's really experienced [in bed]" Oh man, Chloe's nerosies are going into overdrive.

"Oh, you're waiting on an STD check, smart." I still can't believe Amenadiel had an STD scare and a baby before Lucifer ever did.

Sweet, first the Dan twins now the Ella twins. Whatever happened to Dan and Ella? Put her back on the path to goodness.

"Did you steal my clothes?" Borrowed with no intent to give back.

Ever plan a raid: Let the return of lady's night commence!

Amenadiel: "Linda handed me the baby and left." Dan: "what did you do?" Dan is the perfect human.

"As long as the killer doesn't cry or wet themselves, I am in. I am gonna find the killer." Linda's zeal is out of this world, but don't burn yourself right out of the gate. Steady on.

Hohooo - Guys night in, incredible. It takes a village to raise a Charlie.

Although let's be clear, recycling these plots from seasons ago is going to get old real quick unless they get creative and mix things up.

Come on Lucifer, be like Trixie, make a funny face. It would be hilarious if Charlie was soothed be Lucifer's devil face.

I find it really interesting how Maze reads Ella. how she knows that Ella needs an improved sense of self worth. And that all it takes is to challenge her, throw down the gauntlet, and say "Step up your game Lopez!" Now I hope that Maze takes her own advice.

Did Chloe really just ask Linda about her sex history with Lucifer? I am turning purple.

"He's the oldest immature person in the world, nay, universe." Drunk Linda is still so stoic. Perfect foil to "the oldest young person Lucifer's ever met."

"You got played son." Dan's finest hour.

I CALLED IT. Straight out of every fanfiction ever written. Funny faces, right Trix? Faces that make babies laugh and grown men weep. I think we have an official new kind of Heavenly Bros tag team: Heavenly Bros versus the baby.

"Do it again Luci" my thoughts exactly Amenadiel. No wonder they've been saving up the devil face all season so far.

It's a little Sonic-the-hedgehog weird to see a devil face and human hands. I would have gone full effect on that shot.

So much body glitter. And dang, Linda crashed hard.

"You can't find a soulmate if you don't have a soul." 😭😭😭😭 But we were doing so well with her character development. Naughty writers, bad! Fix this now.

Oh Lord, the face and the dagger eyes Amenadude and Luci make when he thinks Dan or is going to wake up Charlie. And here I thought Lucifer's devil face was funny. DB Woodside's face is adorably 1,000 times better.

"You want my advice? Stop asking for advice."

NoNoooNoNoNooo, I want to Dan to find out about angels, but from Amenadiel. NOT LIKE THAT. Michael you ****HEAD! Oh this is going to mess with Dan's head. I hope Amenadiel can talk him down. Don't let this break up the BFFs #DanDielion and #Bracelet Bros. Please dear Dad! We just had Dan's finest hour, don't swing to the darkest hour.

Yep, set up the friendships just to knock them down. F---

"Incredible!" Isn't that what I said, like five or six points ago?

"Goodnight." 3...2...1... I think you're taking christening the new piano a little too literally Deckerstar. 😈💜🕵️‍♀️

I like how she says "oh God" when she can't unbutton his shirt, but he doesn't protest.

Yikes, I bet that's Dan calling trying to warn Chloe.

The writer's room are such teases. This whole season has been so heavily weighted with Deckerstar: will they, won't they, almost to the point where it got tedious. Almost. And now you're telling me that they got all the way to the penthouse bedroom, and we've seen all of Lucifer and Lucifer has seen all of Chloe, and WE don't get to see them...*Amenadiel-esque epiphany* oh, that's why you called the episode...

You cruel, manipulative b*******s!

So how are you going to explain the sleepover to Trixie? 😉

Grade: 9.5/10 DETECTIVES!

If you're here this season for the Deckerstar, there's a ton so far written specifically for you. Personally, while I love the good ship Deckerstar, I'm glad we finally made it to this destination so that it can evolve.

[birbleafs]

[fic] It’s A Matter Of (In)Convenience

Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Humour, Breaking The Fourth Wall Character(s): Saiki Kusuo, Aiura Mikoto, Toritsuka Reita, Kaidou Shun, Kuboyasu Aren, Nendou Riki, Yumehara Chiyo, Teruhashi Kokomi Warnings: None, save for canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Saiki Kusuo’s plan for a quiet Sunday spent shopping for desserts in an ordinary konbini is thrown into disarray when he runs into several… inconveniences, much to his dismay. A/N: I've been re-reading/re-watching Saiki K. during this quarantine period and I haven't laughed this hard since I was into Gintama. This series has given me so much ridiculous joy, it’s great for helping keep anxiety and existential despair at bay lol. Fic can also be read on AO3

_______

Saiki Kusuo could not say he dislikes commuting by public train but he’s not particularly a fan of it either. After all, it’s exceedingly more troublesome and vexing for someone like him, encumbered with psychic abilities beyond human comprehension. He’s unable to switch off his telepathy at will, so it’s no small feat being stuck in a packed cabin and trying to filter out the cacophonous thoughts of fifty-odd passengers buzzing incessantly in his mind throughout the long ride to the next town. Distance isn’t an issue today, however. Not that it had ever been an issue, mind you—he could teleport to almost any location he so wished. But Kusuo had long since mastered inconspicuousness into an art form, and teleporting to his destination and appearing seemingly out of thin air in the middle of a packed convenience store was sure to draw unwanted attention to himself. No, it’s not worth the risk, even for such a coveted goal at the end of his journey. Besides, Kusuo is a man of principle, one who does not easily succumb to using his powers for self-interest. He will do this the ordinary, pedestrian way.

In any case, travelling out of Hidariwakibara-chō to neighbouring Tonari Machi on a random Sunday morning would also mean the chances of him running into certain... inconveniences are very nearly zero. Forty-five minutes and twelve stops later, Kusuo beams in quiet triumph as he walks past the automatic sliding doors and into the aforementioned convenience store, barely registering the musical jiggle over the speakers. He steps through the sparse crowd, pausing midway through the snack and desserts aisle when he finally catches sight of the neat row of orange boxes with silver trimmings on the top shelf. Kusuo allows himself a tiny grin as he reaches for a box, eyes bright with anticipation as he gazes upon its wondrous contents—three cups of chocolate brownie and cherry parfait, infused with coffee jelly and topped with dollops of luscious cream and cinnamon sprinkles. A simple but unmatched delicacy right here in this nondescript konbini, he thinks, savouring the glorious moment a little longer. Still, as fate would have it, he would be reminded in less than ten seconds that his life is but an unfortunate series of daily disasters, and his current reprieve short-lived. And it comes in the form of a young woman who had waltzed through the crowd and is now latching onto his arm with garishly pink manicured nails, her wavy blonde hair already casting a dark cloud over Kusuo’s face. Aiura Mikoto, resident soothsayer and trendsetter gal. Inconvenience No. 1. Ah. So it begins. “Wassup, Kusuo!” Aiura chirps a little too brightly. Already two or three mob characters in the konbini are throwing scandalized looks their way, but to Aiura they’re nothing but background scenery and lazily drawn silhouettes. “Who woulda thunk we’d meet here like this? It must totes be our destiny as soul mates, fer sure!” Isn’t it more because someone is totes a stalker? Kusuo deadpans telepathically her way, even as he makes no real attempt to avoid Aiura’s smothering embrace. Instead, he fixes her with a stare as blank as stone canvas. This is an invasion of privacy. Also, what’s with the meta observation in the previous paragraph? Stop messing with the readers like that. “Man, you sure are a ray of sunshine sometimes,” Aiura pouts, before she breaks into a giggle and relents. She unlatches herself from him, putting some distance between them. “Anyway, can’t your BFF like, just accidentally bump into you while shopping for the same box of snacks you no doubt travelled all the way out here for?” So you admit you really are a stalker then, Kusuo counters drily, only to frown again at the sudden creeping presence of another aura. He feels the weight of another arm draping carelessly over his shoulder, followed by the brusque yapping of an over-eager and desperate hot-blooded young male in his ears. “Yooo, Saiki-san! What a coincidence!” Toritsuka Reita, the spirit medium and an exemplary specimen of the most depraved life-form, the lecherous scum. Also known as Inconvenience No. 2. Saiki Kusuo, a man most unfortunate, lets out a weary sigh. “I see you’ve got that accusatory glare painted all over your face.” Toritsuka wags an annoying finger before Kusuo. “Now, now. Before you also accuse me of stalking, Mister Doom and Gloom, let me just say that I’m only here for one thing.” He flicks a furtive glance towards a discreet corner of the magazine section. The shelves are filled with magazines wrapped in plastic, large R-18 stickers plastered across the covers and over the spines much like indecent warning signs. Toritsuka dabs towards the third shelf, waving a mini poster at both Kusuo and Aiura, and this sentence then abruptly proceeds to describe the close-up of said poster—a particularly titillating centre spread featuring a curvaceous model’s skimpily clad... assets. “Surely there’s no better reason to be here now than for the special compilation of EROmag’s Greatest Upskirts And Panty-shots Of The Month!” Toritsuka exclaims, echoing the thoughts of all resident perverts. “Ugh, grody to the max,” Aiura says, lips curled in utter revulsion. For once, the stars are aligned and Kusuo finds himself wholeheartedly agreeing with her sentiment. Before he can get a retort in edgewise however, he’s unceremoniously tugged closer into Toritsuka’s one-armed embrace, who then proceeds to thump a hand over Kusuo’s chest in a grand show of obnoxious male posturing and solidarity. “You women will never understand,” Toritsuka counters with an ingratiating smirk. “But Saiki-san and I, we’re bosom buddies, connoisseurs of refined aesthetics. Together, we’ll finally gaze upon those heavenly lace panti—A-ACKK!!” He hacks up a lung just as Kusuo nonchalantly drives a sharp elbow right into his solar plexus, causing him to stagger backwards onto the floor. Bosom buddies? Kusuo echoes ominously, glaring daggers at the pathetic writhing form before him. Pretty sure that ridiculous thump you just pulled is both an outrage and insult of my modesty. Hey, can I call the police? I’m calling the police. Aiura nods at that, lips curved into a Cheshire grin and looking extremely pleased with herself as though she’s the one to suggest calling the cops. “Delusional sleazebags should just crawl back into the garbage bin where they belong. Like the skeevy trash panda that they are, right Kusuo?” “Who are you calling delusional, huh?!” Toritsuka snaps, jumping back to his feet. “I’ll have you know that Saiki-san and I have been nothing but the most loyal, the tightest of all bosom buddies—” Refer to me as your bosom buddy again and I’ll crush your windpipe, Kusuo interjects without missing a beat, and the EROmag poster in Toritsuka’s hand spontaneously combusts into flames. “Argh, not the panties!!” Toritsuka yelps, watching in despair as the poster shrivels up in the blaze, only to catch sight of the eerie, voidless depths of Kusuo’s inscrutable gaze. The spirit medium pales at the split-second reminder of his fleeting mortality, sweat dripping down his nape as he carefully backs away from the precarious jaws of death. “B-B-Bros! I-I meant that we’re the best kind of bro-some buddies, ahahaha! T-That is to say, brotherly and wholesome—R-right, Saiki-san? So don’t get all conceited just because you’ve got big knockers, Tits McGee!!” “Pfft, brotherly and wholesome? As if!” Aiura scoffs, unimpressed. “You’re about as wholesome as your d*ck aura and a college frat boy’s porno stash. Just admit you ain’t nothing but a tiresome anime trope!” “Look who’s talking, Miss Fanservice. This is a wholesome shounen series, so how about you take those bazongas back to Hooters where they belong!” “Haaah? You looking for a fight, you raunchy racoon?!” “Bring it on then!” Kusuo scowls at the petty squabbling, exasperated at how easily his quiet Sunday was already going awry, much like the metaphorical train wreck poised for a manic spiral off its rails. He decides to take his leave then from the two inconveniences bickering loudly, making his way towards the self-checkout station near the entrance. He pays for his items, stealthily packing them away with a subtle flick of his psychokinesis, and is only a few paces away from complete freedom at last when the generic musical jingle blares from the speakers overhead. “♪~Welcome to F☆mily Mart Konbini, We Guarantee 99.9% Shopping Satisfaction! It’s A Matter of Convenience~! ♪” Kusuo frowns at the jingle. Why is it only 99.9% satisfaction? And really, a matter of convenience? Not when he’d already run into two inconveniences in a row and all in a convenience store. Is God conspiring with the universe and pulling a sick prank on him right now? What a horrible sense of humour. The automatic doors at the entrance slide wide open then, and in saunter three terribly familiar faces—Kaidou Shun, Kuboyasu Aren, and Nendou Riki. Inconvenience No. 3, No. 4, and No. 5 respectively. “What did I tell you, Aren? Not only did we manage to beat traffic, but this unexpected change in my Sunday routine would’ve thrown a wrench into Dark Reunion’s plans of attempted kidnapping. Too bad I, The Jet-Black Wing, am always several steps ahead. Heh.” “Uhmm, yeah I guess… Hey, Shun, look! There isn’t a queue for the limited edition Ginta-Man figurine raffle tickets here at all. Good thing you insisted we meet at the crack of dawn—Tch, Nendou, don’t dawdle around and block the entrance like that! What’re you looking at anyway?” “Oh? I thought I saw my pal just a few seconds ago...” “Huh, Saiki’s here too-?! Oh, you mean that. Don’t be daft, Nendou, that’s just a cardboard cut-out of that kiddie hero show, Cyborg Cider-man Mark II.” Seriously?? Kusuo curses irritably as he dives inconspicuously out of sight from the passing trio, right into the bath and shampoo aisle. It’s just been a series of inconveniences one after another this morning, the metaphorical train wreck already hurtling itself past the edge of no return. Good grief, what a pain. May as well have the rest of the cast show up next— Another cheesy musical jingle, another swoosh of the sliding doors, and— “Waahh, it’s really you, Kaidou-kun!” “Hello, what a nice surprise to run into everyone here.” “Oh, hey there, Yumehara and... Offu~! T-T-Teruhashi-san?!” Saiki Kusuo, ever the suffering protagonist, drags a hand over his face. See? God hates him. Two aisles over, he can still hear Aiura and Toritsuka’s voices drifting over: “Man, I’m sick of looking at your pervy mug. C’mon, Kusuo, let’s ditch this loser—Huh, where did you run off to, Kusuo?!” “Your petty squawking has given us all an earache and must’ve driven Saiki-san off as well!” Oi, oi, Kusuo flinches inwardly, seized by a helpless fear of watching his quiet Sunday careening off the cliff and further away from his grasp. Quit yelling out my name like that and throwing me to the wolves already! Too late. At the mention of Kusuo’s name, Nendou cranes his neck 270 degrees Exorcist-style like a hideously monstrous owl and rushes over to Toritsuka’s side. “Oh! Did you just say my pal is here?!” he exclaims happily, shaking Toritsuka by the shoulders like a dog shaking an unfortunate chew toy. “I knew I’d seen him when we walked in earlier!” Not to be outdone by Nendou, Teruhashi also leaps forward before Aiura with none of her previous composure, her unblemished, porcelain visage now dusted with a hint of rose, a conflicted mix of perplexity and (envious) shock pooling in her angelic eyes. “D-Did you say ‘Saiki’?! H-Hey, Aiura-san, you did say ‘Saiki’ and not actually ‘Kusuo’, right? M-My, I must have misheard things, right? R-Right?!” “What the heck is going on? Is Saiki really here?” Anxious, Kusuo grits his teeth at the growing clamour as his friends converge from all corners of the store towards the aisle where he’d been forced to hide. Guess there’s no avoiding it after all, he frets despairingly, and in less than a nanosecond, teleports unnoticed from the konbini to an empty street outside. Kusuo sighs, relieved to have finally escaped. Minor inconveniences aside, perhaps a quiet Sunday spent savouring chocolate brownie and cherry parfait in the comfort of his home isn’t beyond his reach yet. What? Didn’t he just use his powers for self-interest to teleport out of a sticky situation? Foolish readers, that was for self-preservation and completely acceptable, of course. He holds his shopping bag close, pleased that he’d managed to avoid a disaster, and begins to walk down the street—only to freeze mid-step when he feels a sudden splitting headache jolt through him… A flash of images appears: Aiura and Toritsuka crouching in fear together, Kuboyasu bracing his bleeding arm, Kaidou screaming shrilly as he shields Yumehara and Teruhashi from a masked man brandishing a gun, Nendou digging his nose with his pinky—That’s just disgusting, no one wants to see that, stop it!! The vision finally ends, and Kusuo lifts a hand to his face, massaging his temple to clear the precognitive fog from his mind. An armed robbery, huh. He lets out another resigned sigh. Good grief—What a pain, Saiki ‘I-don’t-(but I actually really do)-care-about-my-friends’ Kusuo mutters internally in annoyance, even as he yeets himself head-first into other people’s business and right back into the convenience store to stop a future robbery. Still he smiles, eyes soft with perhaps the slightest flicker of affection for this dysfunctional bunch of people in his disastrous life. Someone has to protect them and save the day, after all.

  –End–

[branwyn-says]

i just want to tell you that while i haven't read new sherlock fic in literal years and have no interest going back to that fandom or browsing the ao3 tag ever again, compatible damage is so important to me that i reread it regularly and if i ever got an e-mail notification saying you updated it, i'd drop everything immediately and check it out. this isn't meant to be a shitty please update ask though, i just want to say that i have a lot of feelings about that au and i appreciate your writing!!

You’re wonderful. I feel the same way about Sherlock fandom but sometimes I wish I could get back into that headspace just so I could finish The Silences, Here is how that story was going to go, if anyone cares: --The premise of the story was that it would mash up the basic plot of the Arthur Conan Doyle story The Abbey Grange (Holmes decides to let a naval officer off the hook for killing his friend’s abusive husband) and the Holmes backstory from The Adventure of the Gloria Scott (Holmes’ bff at college was a guy named Victor Trevor whose dog bit him on the ankle). --The same early 20th Sherlock Holmes pro fic (the Baring Gould book) that gave us William Sherlock Scott Holmes as his full name speculates that Mrs Hudson came into Holmes’s life via the Australian criminal named Hudson who blackmailed Victor Trevor’s father. --In my fic, “The Silences”, Victor Trevor and Mrs. Hudson have a close bond, because she was around his family when Victor was a kid and when her husband died it was good for both of them. He was abusive and Victor saw the ugliness and pain of all of that first hand. 

--Years later, after going into Ambiguous Spy Work following a naval career, Victor finds out that an old friend, Mary Foster, is now trying to escape an abusive marriage. He tries to help Mary get out, but when her husband finds out, Victor kills him, and the case is unsolvable by the police because Victor is MI6 and just that good. --...Yeah I am just now realizing that the plot of this story is basically John Reese’s back story from Person of Interest which explains a whole lot now I think about it. --Anyway, in the period between “I have to get Mary to safety” and “oops never mind, the abusive jackass is dead”, Victor writes to Mrs Hudson: “Do you happen to know if Sherlock is still alive because I would like to discuss A Situation with him.” Mrs Hudson gives Sherlock that letter, prompting Sherlock to reach out to Victor. --Victor has already committed the murder he wanted Sherlock’s help to avoid having to commit, so...he acts real cagey. But he’s a spy so, that tracks, and Sherlock is not that suspicious at first. --But Lestrade has been tasked to solve the murder of Sir Eustace Brackenstall because blah blah important dude unsolvable case, so he attempts to get Sherlock and Joanna in on it. Joanna is down. Sherlock is, “No, my one purpose in life is to tend to Joanna’s medical needs until she is fully recovered.” Joanna: Getting you out of the flat is a medical need that I have. On account of, you are suffocating me. Sherlock: That’s just the opiates I drugged you with talking. --This story was always meant to be the culmination of the <a href=“https://archiveofourown.org/series/13134”>Compatible Damage series</a> theme of “Joanna Watson has expert knowledge of how trauma and domestic violence cause people to behave in irrational ways that baffle Sherlock’s deductive logic” --Because Joanna is recovering from the serious injuries sustained in <a href=“https://archiveofourown.org/works/294574”>Let Sense Be Dumb</a>, she spends a lot of time chatting with Mrs. Hudson while Sherlock is investigating for Lestrade and getting reacquainted with Victor. Mrs. Hudson talks a little about her awful marriage (this was all plotted out long before there was any Mrs. Hudson back story in BBC canon) and thus, Joanna is very In That Headspace where she’s having trouble with the concept that healthy relationships can exist, especially heterosexual ones. (I am not sure if I ever made it clear but Sherlock and Joanna are both biromantic and slightly ace spectrum in my stories.) --Things are very tentative between Sherlock and Joanna. They’re both aware that they want intimacy with each other, of some kind, that they love each other, to the extent they understand what that means, but how the hell do they proceed? Joanna’s in bad shape, Sherlock is constantly anxious and overprotective and slightly smothering in his nursing duties, and is also terrible at nursing. Joanna is just tired of Other People and sometimes, Sherlock Specifically. --Mrs Hudson offers to cook a big dinner so they can have a small party and invite Victor and his new fiancee Mary over! This will end well. Actually, it goes great, and Victor is over the moon to meet Joanna and they bond over Sherlock’s baby pictures so to speak, and then Sherlock takes Victor aside for...idk, something, and Joanna and Mrs. Hudson and Mary all have an after dinner tipple and a chat... --...and by the time Victor and Mary are getting into a cab, Joanna knows for A Damn Fact that Mary’s previous relationship was abusive, and that Victor was trying way too hard to charm everyone. She doesn’t say anything to Sherlock because...it’s a friend! A Sherlock friend! She isn’t going to fuck that up! Please get Sherlock out of the flat, Victor, Joanna needs some space! But boy that was some suspicious body language and protective behavior she saw. --Lestrade is coming over a bunch, because he and Joanna are bros, and Sherlock is Unavailable For Detective Work Because Joanna is Hurt, so Lestrade gets Joanna to help him think shit over. So that’s how Joanna finds out that Mary Foster was Lady Brackenstall, until recently. 

--From the outside, there is no evidence of abuse in the Brackenstall’s marriage. Lestrade isn’t even looking at the wife as a suspect or a motive. The “gang of thieves in the area” thing from ACD canon is still his best lead.  --In the ACD story, Holmes stages a mock trial where he exonerates the naval officer, acting as judge, with Watson as the jury. He’s cleared and sent on his way to marry Mary and start a new life. Watson is not thrilled that Holmes is “taking the law into his own hands”, but as Holmes says, furiously, “I am not retained by the police to supply their deficiencies.”  --In this story, that decision is going to fall on Joanna. She is the only one who has figured out, or can figure out, that a) the murdered dude was beating his wife and that b) his wife had a close friend who was dangerous as hell and would do anything to keep her safe. Unless she makes that link for Lestrade, the case will just go unsolved. --And the thing is, she doesn’t even feel completely certain that Victor did the killing. The timing of the murder is off, for one. He would have had to show up at the Abbey Grange house and shoot Sir Eustace more less within an hour of getting back to England. It’s a really narrow time window, and it only creates a bare sliver of possibility, and she really wants to ignore it. --Except, then she and Sherlock have a moment. Joanna tells him that Mary’s husband was abusive, without drawing the connection to Lestrade’s murder investigation. Sherlock doesn’t put the pieces together until the next time he’s with Victor and Mary together. He thinks about what Joanna told him, and he sees how tender and protective Victor is toward Mary. It gives Sherlock a nasty turn, because 1) That is how he looks at Joanna, so does that mean that he and Joanna are supposed to be a couple like Victor and Mary are? and 2) He knows how he feels about the various people who have hurt Joanna, which is to say he wants very much to Kill Them All, and if Joanna got married to another person, and that person trapped her in the house and hurt her on a regular basis, then Sherlock would... well Sherlock would do what Victor undoubtedly did, and kill the fucker. --The resolution, as far as I had it planned out, was that Joanna confronts Mary (instead of Holmes confronting Captain Croker, as in the ACD story), Mary admits it, Joanna feels satisfied that the actual killing really was unavoidable self defense. She feels bad keeping it from Lestrade, but Mary and Victor are planning to leave the country and not return. So Joanna lets them go. --And then she tells Sherlock what happened, and what she did, and is prepared for it to be a Thing, except then Sherlock admits he made the same deduction at practically the same moment, and explains how he came to the conclusion, and they agree that after Victor gives them an all clear, they’ll give Lestrade enough information to close the case.

--And then Sherlock and Joanna awkwardly face down their big big emotions and it’s painful and weird but they smooch, and are a couple, and that is the end of the series.