#my brain: no sincerity allowed!!! only jokes!!!!!

[falmerbrook]

How I look reblogging posts about embracing your weirdness/being indulgent and how cringe culture is dead when I'm too scared to post anything about my favorite characters out of fear of someone getting mad at me or thinking I'm cringey

[sovamurka]

my brain goes brrrrrrrr after so few hours of sleep BUT you won't believe how much timebomb content I just got

Fractured Jinx voice lines?

CRAZY. all three versions of Jinx talk to him differently and yet all three share one trait - they care. A LOT. she cares and has certain feelings towards him that she can't really put into words that well. she's not at all antagonistic towards him, even when she taunts him.

These ones break my heart honestly because they're not said mockingly. There is no malice, or joke. They're said with exasperation and sadness. She especially can't bear the way he looks at her (you should hear it yourself honestly).

Jinx ruins fixes everything?

THEY SHOWED US THE FIRELIGHT TREE. It seems like it happened a little bit after they sincerely talked with each other. Ekko showed her his little paradise and it's the first time we see so much light in this game. The entire place is so warm even Jinx herself warms up, she's is both calm and excited, she's... hopeful, actually. Ekko, what did you tell her? How did you console her? What kind of hug technique did you use to make her so hopeful?

Jinx assembled her final weapon (and named it Rhino) in Ekko's engineering room after exploring the room for spare details. She also finds a photo of Ekko and Benzo.

And when we explore the entire hideout... We encounter their circle bike that they build and upgraded together (yes, the one we saw when we explored Benzo's shop in Wild Rift, yes, the one that only he and Powder could use because Ekko did not allow anyone else to use it).

And oh... Did you know that she still can't forget the way he looked at her on the bridge? And that she never will?

This one obliterated me, actually.

[helyiios]

Comfortable

(ethan/benji, pure fluff, this is an excuse to declare my undying love to simon pegg)

“C’mere,” Ethan softly calls out to Benji, holding out a hand.

They were hanging out in their hotel room, a movie on for the night—Suspiria, if he remembers well, and there were boxes of takeout he’d been forced to order on the small table in front of them, half-eaten, half-warm. The evening was calm. Their latest mission had allowed them to get some free time, something so rare these days that they’d jumped on the occasion to enjoy the boring aspects of life. They’d booked a room in Greece, with a view on the sea, and they’d gone around the island visiting and doing usual touristy things.

Ethan liked it. He liked the tranquility. The rest. Sure, running after terrorists was fun, and thrilling, but holding Benji’s hand sent the same adrenaline reactions to his heart and brain.

His hand is still held out. His partner makes his way towards him in a few steps, having gotten up to freshen up his face.

“Are you okay ?” he asks gently, settling himself on the couch again, leaning on Ethan’s lap. “Did something ha—“

“Nothing happened,” the other cuts him off with a smile, raising his hand to his cheek. It was warm, and soft. Despite the calluses, despite the small scars, he was still terribly soft. He loved that about him. “I just missed you.”

“I was gone a minute,” Benji retorts with a snort, “clearly we’ve gone without seeing each other for longer.”

“Mm.”

Ethan kisses his palm, nuzzling his nose against it. His eyes shoot back up, wide and impossibly green, with small flecks of gold that only Benji had ever noticed. He looks like an endearing puppy, handsomely boyish with his hair down.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathes out, taking the younger man by surprise. “You’re so beautiful, Benji.”

Benji blinks, clearly surprised by his declaration. He does not pull back, though, basking in his warmth instead. He offers him a half-disbelieving smile, something a little shameful and self-pitying.

That wouldn’t do.

“I mean it,” Ethan says again, a little more forceful. “Sometimes I look at you and I can’t…breathe. I wonder what I’ve done to deserve to be with someone like you. Everything about you is so perfect.”

“It’s not.”

“To me, it is.”

“I’m not that special,” Benji tensely replies, “I’m just…me.”

“You’re so dear to me, though. I love everything about you, the shape of your eyes, because it’s so delicate, and the way your hair looks blond under the sun but brown in the shade, your heterochromia, your moles and your sharp canine…everything that makes you special. You’re a gorgeous man, Benjamin Dunn,” his lovers murmurs, kissing his face reverently, like he was a sacred idol. “And you’re mine. It’s a chance I can never get behind. Everyday I am humbled to be able to be in your presence.”

The other smiles sincerely this time, letting himself be loved. Ethan’s mouth is soft, and his lips are not chapped anymore. Each kiss feels like a cleansing. Like holiness.

“You exaggerate.”

“You don’t realise it, do you ? Your kindest, your intellect…you really do have it all, don’t you ? Leave some for the rest,” he jokes, pulling back to stare in his eyes, irises crinkling in mirth. “Yours is the only voice I’ll trust no matter what. Forever. You could tell me to do the wildest things and I would follow. I’d follow you into the darkest pits of Hell, Benji. Because even then, I would be with you.”

“Ethan…”

“I breathe for you. My heart only beats for your laugh, for your smile. I was created for you and you only.”

Ethan’s face is serious now, yet impossibly fond and smitten. He’s cupping Benji’s cheeks, eyes flicking back and forth, landing on his mouth. The thin yet oddly red lips looked like the sweetest of cherries.

He wants nothing more but to bite them.

“I love you,” Benji can only answer, holding the other’s shirt, pulling him towards himself, nearly tipping him off. “More than words could ever say. You’re…you’re everything to me.”

“My wonderful, smart, sweet partner,” Ethan mutters, kissing him at last, sighing against his lips. He’d trapped him on the couch, keeping him in between strong thighs. “I can’t believe I got so lucky. I can’t believe the universe allowed me to meet you.”

“And I, you.”

They stare back at each other, feeling mirth bubble in their chests as they started laughing, low, genuine.

“I meant it, though,” Ethan adds again. “That you’re so terribly handsome. It drives me mad. I love you so much I wish I could carve you open and make one with you, just…just be close to you. Forever.”

“Come closer, then,” Benji murmurs, kissing him wildly, pushing him against him desperately, one leg hooked on his lower back. “Be close to me, Ethan Hunt.”

“Yeah,” he breathes out, closing his eyes. “I can hear your heartbeat, Benji.”

The other smiles. The sun is starting to set, and the waves crash idly on the beach.

“It beats for you, my love.”

[bugflies00]

I continue to wonder since you said fostering au wilbur continues to be entirely in denial and Not Realizing for some time after he and quackity re-meet how exactly DOES the Feelings Realization TM go down qcihdtiwdzgd

OOOH well its very gradual and very much a disaster because. well. its him .

i think i said they remeet when theyre around 22-23, and at the time wilbur was in a really bad relationship that he only breaks off two or so years later. his girlfriend was very controlling and always bringing him down and making comments about him, his appearance, his interests, what he ate, etc. so needless to say wilburs already absolute dogshit self esteem is so further down the gutter it’s actually Wow look it pierced a hole into the ground from how far down it is.

this is important context because it’s part of why he takes soooo long to realise his feelings, he’s just so deeply entrenched in trying to make his girlfriend happy and love him and to appease everyone that he doesn’t realise. its what i call his “ghostbur” era - none of this stuff is actually strictly based on the bursonas, but i find he does follow a similar pattern of evolution, and at that point in his life he’s trying to be the biggest people pleaser possible after realising that being the unapproachable loner he was in high school would only leave him alone (also bc his abandonment issues got worse after sally left). his new relationship makes that worse also.

in the beginning him and q are just sort of awkwardly tiptoeing around each other considering they last left each other with a bajillion things unsaid and they are extremely determined on keeping said things unsaid. they start to grow back into friends, albeit more normal friends than the absolute mess of a situationship/frenemies they were in high school. theyre still themselves meaning they can’t go a second without aggravating each other, but its definitely friendlier.

and as time goes by some of their joke flirting gets a tad bit too real sometimes- quackity will make a joke and stare at him a moment too long, or wilbur will stutter out of nowhere, etc.

but wilbur still has a girlfriend!!! so as usual he shoves his head in the sand and he takes melatonin so at night he falls asleep instantly without having the time to yearn or reflect lmao. (for the record i do not condone this if your feelings change communicate that with your partner etc)

time progresses, every stranger they meet think theyre either married, sworn enemies, or fucking each other. meanwhile wilburs relationship grows worse and worse, he’s fallen deep into an eating disorder (while he was already struggling with bad eating habits pretty much his whole life it gets much worse then), hes struggling with self harm a lot, and its just not a great time. his friends keep trying to convince him to break things off, especially tommy who, since he lives with them, has seen a lot of shit and absolutely despises wilbur’s girlfriend’s guts and makes this very well known.

eventually they do break up (its a longer story than that but it would require its own post) and wilbur falls deep into a depressive episode. it makes him doubt for so long if he did the right thing, if he just should’ve sucked it up and taken whatever scraps of love he was given, but in reality the depressive episode had been a LONG time coming its just his brain was in survival mode. he never felt safe enough with her, so subconsciously his brain only allowed falling into depression again once it was safe to do so.

and so my point is that with all these things happening he’s absolutely nowhere near ready to accept his feelings. meanwhile q is pining hard - that man is going through it LMAO trying to support his friend (they still pretend to be frenemies) whilst shoving down his own shit. he’s one of the few people wilbur feels safe with (even though theyve gotten into fistfights and q has sincerely threatened his life on several occasions), mainly because, in a way, q knew him at his worst (high school) and still came back. so he has more trust in him than some of his other friends because hes convinced he’s manipulated them into thinking hes better than he is.

anyway q is planning this trip for an internship he’s doing for his law degree, and he has to leave for a month or two. wilburs 25th birthday rolls around, and he knows q wont be able to be there. he’s already still feeling shitty, not really entirely out of that depressive episode, and he’s ready to just have a lame birthday and go back to rotting in his bed.

and then (this is so cliché LET ME LIVE) theyre about to do the cake whatever and tommy yells announces they have a surprise and he turns around and wham! quackity standing there looking downright exhausted, with his suitcases around him and the airplane neck pillow still around his neck (he came straight from the airport). wilbur runs to hug him and, to me, that moment is the kickstarter that forces him to start actually realising whats happening.

first off because theyre not exactly huggers but that one was so spontaenous and it felt so right!! second because hes already sad and a bit emotionally volatile and the fact that q cared enough to rush and try his best to make it to his birthday moves him a whole lot. and finally because well yeah he’s madly in love with him but the only thing he says is to ask whether the eyebags q got from jetlag are a fashion statement in europe or if hes just reaching for the raccoon look.

theres definitely more moments after that (they take a LOOONG time to get together. and so much pining. its so bad) but i just think that moment is really sweet and also i love how their relationship progresses over time

[chrismerle]

I'm writing a hazbin oneshot and I'm having issues with dialogue. Any wisdom on how to handle the balance between Alastor being an arsehole and wanting to write him having a couple of moments of geniune sincerity.

Hmmmm

I think it depends on the sort of sincerity you're aiming for

Like, I handle Alastor and sincere moments a handful of ways, but none of them are particularly straightforward.

Sometimes he's completely taken off-guard (Charlie fixed his mic stand without asking anything in return and admitted to being worried about him, Alastor's brain basically fully rebooted and he immediately fled the conversation; Charlie genuinely asked Alastor to help her learn how to fight, Alastor was fucking baffled).

Sometimes he passes the moment off as a joke himself (he coaches Charlie through the radio announcement but when she asks for his opinion afterward, he says he's still not convinced).

Once they get to know each other better, sometimes whoever he's talking to passes it off as a joke so the moment can pass without Alastor making a break for it (Angel bringing him coffee but calling him a fussbudget in the same breath; Charlie poking fun at the fact that Al only occasionally swears before he can realize he's airing his grievances like a functional adult; just generally Charlie and Angel sort of gently ragging on him to distract from the fact that they are, in fact, having a conversation with him).

Sometimes he's talking to Rosie or Niffty, who are allowed to actually have genuine moments with him (Niffty explaining the plot of her puppet show to him over tea/coffee; Alastor leaving the hatch to the studio open so Niffty can still talk to him while he's up there and she's cleaning the rest of his room; it's directly referenced and indirectly implied several times that they have late night tea/coffee "dates" pretty frequently).

My favorite method is that sometimes Alastor instigates the sincere moment, but then immediately claims it's for some sort of self-serving reason.

There's a sincere moment after he and Charlie have their first sparring match, where she attempts to convince him that he can rely on them, and he sticks around for the duration of the moment, but he does start getting noticeably annoyed and a bit mean, and also initially assumes he's in trouble for something.

Honestly, I think the closest he comes to just accepting sincerity is in 'put on a happy face' when Charlie is expressing concern over him, and that's only because A. it's Charlie, and he's come to expect that sort of nonsense from her specifically and B. she keeps it pretty brief before hurrying off to scold her dad. Even then, Alastor is still a bit startled.

tl;dr: If Alastor sees the sincerity coming, he's going to deflect it, so you gotta flank him with it and then be aware that he's gonna wriggle like a fish on a line.

[jewwyfeesh]

The Detective's Banquet 1

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Shino Hajime, Mashiro Tomoya, Hidaka Hokuto, Sakuma Ritsu, Isara Mao, Hasumi Keito, Sakuma Rei, Kazehaya Tatsumi, HiMERU, Shiina Niki

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Hokuto: Analysis result: no signs of life have been detected.

Season: Autumn Location: Luxury Hotel Room

[A dark and stormy night, in a certain hotel room…]

Tomoya: How did it end up like this…

At first, it was meant to be a one-off banquet with inference and logical reasoning as its main theme, but… suddenly, there was a real case to be solved.

Due to the unexpected rainstorm, the once comfy holiday spot became an island isolated from the outside world. Everyone’s stuck here, unable to leave.

We were like beasts trapped in a cage – despite looking for clues all over the place, wracking our brains trying to reason it out, we still couldn’t find the killer hidden amongst us.

As time went by, I had an ominous premonition. That’s why I’m here, recording, narrating my side of the story as truthfully as I can.

Afterwards, I’ll hide the memory card away. If something unexpected were to happen to me, I hope that there would be someone who’ll find the clues I’ve left behind, and bring the truth to light.

I remember that—

……?!

W-who…? Who’s there!

???: It seems like you didn’t close your door fully, ‘High School Student Detective’.

Location: Dead End Cafe

[The afternoon before, in the holiday resort’s main cafe area]

Rei: Dearest detectives, welcome to this island, an island far away from any hustle and bustle. I have prepared a banquet to welcome you seven, and of course, in this feast of inference… mysteries do run aplenty.

While we are to temporarily stay within the boundaries of the hotel due to the sudden storm, I assure you that the service here is the best of the best.

As the owner of this island, as well as the organizer of the banquet… Without further ado, kindly allow me to introduce the detectives that have gathered here today.

First of all, we have my little brother, Ritsu. The media has bestowed upon him the title of ‘Vampire Detective’, but I sincerely doubt those reports that shower him with praise have sufficiently showcased Ritsu’s unparalleled intellect and cuteness—

Ritsu: Haha, anija really loves to joke, doesn’t he? There are other skilled detectives here as well, and I don’t intend on making a fool of myself in front of the real experts. Please pay him no mind, and enjoy the banquet.

Rei: I’m sure everyone’s heard of this person — possessing superb reasoning ability and the ability to solve a case without stepping foot on scene… we have the aptly named ‘Armchair Detective’!

HiMERU: Thank you for the invitation, Sakuma-san. HiMERU is very happy for this opportunity to engage the other detectives in discussions of reason.

Tatsumi: I didn’t expect to see you here, HiMERU-san; I really do look forward to working on solving these with you ♪

HiMERU: Likewise. HiMERU wasn’t expecting to bump into you here either.

Tatsumi: Aah, I almost forgot to introduce myself to you all. I’m Kazehaya Tatsumi, a pastor from a nearby church. I happened to have helped solve a few cases while working. As such, I was referred to as the ‘Clergyman Detective’.

Mao: Both an idol and a detective, I am Trickstar’s Isara Mao ☆

Despite being called the ‘Idol Detective’, I only helped to investigate a case before a concert, which allowed the event to proceed as planned… it’s not really something worth boasting about…

Hajime: I’m the ‘Part-time Detective’ Shino Hajime. If you need anything, please feel free to approach me ♪

Tomoya: Erm… I’m the ‘High School Student Detective’, Mashiro Tomoya… Nothing special about me.

(Why are all the acting roles I get so plain… At the very least, I would’ve liked a higher rank or title of some sort… something like ‘Super High Schxxl Detective’, maybe. That does sound way cooler.)

(Ah, Hokuto-senpai’s about to do his introduction! I better pay attention.)

Hokuto: Hidaka Hokuto. ‘Bionic Detective’. Serial Number 3A1217.

Tomoya: (I nearly forgot that Hokuto-senpai’s character is an android who uses arithmetic calculations to emulate personalities… It does sound very difficult to pull off, but Hokuto-senpai definitely won’t have a problem!)

Rei: Now that everyone has gotten to a little more about the companions you’ll be embarking on this analytical journey with… Before we kick start the competition of brains and observational skills, let us first enjoy a pleasant banquet ♪

As wine will inhibit the brain’s precision and function, kindly allow me to use this cup of blood red tomato juice to prevent that—

……?!

Ritsu: Anija?!

H-how could this happen? W-why did he suddenly collapse?

Hokuto: An anomaly has been detected. Automatically running the body scan—

Analysis result: no signs of life have been detected.

Commencing further testing—

Analysis result: fingernails are pink, complexion is cherry red, and there’s a smell of bitter almonds near the lips. Cause of death tentatively determined to be cyanide poisoning.

Ritsu: Wh-what…?! No, no! I don’t believe it…

Mao: ……

Hajime: Ritsu Onii-chan… Wait no, ‘Vampire Detective’-san, please restrain your grief…

HiMERU: That’s right. HiMERU reckons that the most important thing right now is to ascertain the identity of the killer. According to what Sakuma-san said earlier on… due to the raging thunderstorm, everyone is to stay within the boundaries of this hotel for their own safety. That’s to say—

Tatsumi: That person may very well be hiding amongst us.

HiMERU: ……Yes.

Tomoya: (Whatever happened was really unexpected, yet everyone’s quick on their feet to react! I need to keep up!)

If he was poisoned after consuming the tomato juice, that means that the poison must’ve come from either the juice or the cup, right?

​​Mao: Indeed, these methods of poisoning are more convenient than others. May I ask who has previously handled these items?

Niki: I was the one in charge of the food and drink for this banquet, but I wouldn’t think of poisoning such holy food!

Keito: The cutlery was prepared by me. Sakuma-san and I grew up together, close like brothers[1]. I have no motive to kill him.

Ritsu: I was the one who handed him that glass of tomato juice… if I had known earlier…

Hokuto: Analysis complete. Lethal doses of toxins were not found in the juice nor the vessel.

Tomoya: —EH?!

Translator's notes: [1] 情同手足 - an idiom that directly translates to "as close as one's hands and feet", which means like brothers / with a brotherly love for each other

Chapter 2 →

[herunswithscissors]

Friends of ours lost their 22yo son to suicide recently. He was struggling, but kept the depth of it hidden. There are no words of comfort to give, only grieving alongside those who have lost one that they love.

A good friend pointed out that in the midst of this weeping, while it does not diminish the grief, perhaps something good might come out in that those who are similarly struggling with thoughts of suicide might get some perspective that their lives matter beyond the tiny world mental illness traps you in. Your life matters and is worth living.

Our brains are a precariously balanced mix of meat, electricity, and chemicals. Sometimes because of our experiences and/or biology our brains begin to lie to us. It withholds joy and pleasure. "It’s like trying to laugh at a joke that isn’t funny. Trying to smile for a photo you don’t want to be in. It’s like waking up in the morning and hating that you actually woke up. It feels like someone is just draining the energy out of you all the time, every moment you are awake." Doing anything requires immense willpower. Just plain old staying alive becomes a conscious choice made over and over again. You are just so tired and everything is just too much to deal with. The constant state of suffering leads one to try various ways to feel something positive, feel anything, or just escape the emptiness. It's why depressed people try so hard to bring joy to others and help others- they want to prevent others from suffering too and it allows them to feel some happiness vicariously.

The inevitable diminishing returns on the attempts to feel better, feel anything, or just escape eventually lead to the conclusion that there is only one way out of this hell. And depression shrinks our awareness of our own meaningfulness and inner world. The void is all we can perceive. The knowledge that we are loved, cared for, or important is lost. We can sincerely believe that our loss will not so drastically affect our loved ones and escape through death is a viable option.

These are all false of course. Falsehoods our sick brain tells us with honesty, because suicide is quite reasonable given what we are perceiving.

If you are feeling like you don't want to be here, wishing you would not wake up, desiring an accident, imagining about killing yourself, drugging yourself into oblivion, or seriously thinking about if or how you might kill yourself, you need to talk to someone. I got lucky. Someone who loves me more than I love myself saw me spiraling into self-destruction and made me get help and continues to support me in spite of myself. I spent years where my full-time job was not research or teaching, but just keeping myself alive. It's still my job now and then. But the difference now is that after many years of therapy and prescriptions I know that feeling is temporary and false.

I'm sorry it hurts so much right now. When you have some distance from these feelings (I hope that you will give yourself the chance to), I hope you can see that your life is worthwhile and important because you are.

But the only way out is through and that requires talking. I hope you have people nearby who love you you can talk to. If you do, talk to them. If you don't, this will be harder. Either way, you should also get into counseling. A good counselor will help you find ways to survive, build better mental pathways, & develop tools for processing emotions.

Brutal honesty- American mental health treatment system is shit and difficult to navigate. We have far too few professionals in many areas and online is often the only option. But you are a fighter. Look at you all alive and shit when depression has been trying to kill you 24-7. Live a little bit longer. You can do it. And if you are going to live a little bit longer, counseling can help you live it a little bit better.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Longass Crop Circles Notes (I Don't Think I've Changed Chapter Two):

I don't want to talk about how many weeks these notes have been sitting in my notes app because I couldn't bring myself to go through them yet. My sincere apologies @spicymiilk

-Ah that incredibly relatable feeling when you want to get to one part of your story and you have to force yourself to slog through to get to it. It happens to us all.

-KIRI AND LO’AK GOING TO SPECIAL SCHOOL WHILE NETEYAM IS REGULAR IS SO FUNNY TO ME. Poor Lo’ak I’m being so mean to him. But you really want their asses GONE gone.

-Calling Jake a white man and saying he can’t understand their hair is so funny. Dude NEVER helped with ANY of his kids hair ever??? He’s never done Neytiri’s for her because he’s her bitch? Come on Jake, I expected more. Even I’ve done my cousins hair a few times. Maybe Spider will fare better?

-Obsessed with the way Neteyam is about his morning routine and solitude, it jives so well with my opinion of him. He’s got to have things his way, and under his control. Taken care of well. He’s going to have a field day with Spider. I see we are already leaning heavily into Neteyam’s "I can fix him" complex. Even when he wants to help Jake, which I know is something wheelchair users don’t often want if it’s something they do all the time themselves. It’s the innate feeling of standing by and doing nothing while watching someone struggle, when it’s their day to day life. And if that isn’t Neteyam’s whole thing? I’m obsessed with how he just cannot handle anyone else’s bad vibes without trying to fix it right away. Speaking of;

-If there is not a moment where Jake allows Neteyam to help him when he needs it, I will throw myself off a bridge, Andrei. ~growth~ the opportunity is there and it’s ripe.

-JAKE AND NETEYAM BANTER, I did not realize I was in a drought until I got a little bit of rain and I realized I was DYING OF THIRST. PARCHED FOR THEM.

-Jake “Detective” Sully: You are gay, son, try not to be too gay to the new foster kid you stalk at the local Micky Ds.

-I am literally obsessed with My Father Jake Sully who was neglected and hurt as a child being the most desperate man alive to connect with and heal kids in the same situation he was in. It fits so so well in his character for me. I feel like he spends most of his life trying to heal old wounds and make up for the past, in a way.

-Neteyam “I thought this kid was named Miles for years but I guess legally on his birth certificate it def must say Spider because it couldn’t be a nickname, that’s for sure” Sully

-I am CACKLING at them both lying to each other about McDonalds as though they both don’t know exactly how often the other one is there because they both find the other hot I’m dead.

-Spider mad at Norm for enforcing child labour laws has me wanting to make memes about it. The children truly do yearn for the mines.

-All the tiny little details of how Spider focuses on the people around him, on their moods and their movements and the way his brain works is so well done. That survival mindset takes years and years to unlearn, if you ever can fully. It’s well done as always.

-OH MY GOD EVEN NEYTIRI ALSO THINKS NETEYAM IS BEING TOO GAY THIS IS AMAZING.

-Justice for Jake, I will get him one of the cars paralyzed people can drive. Also his joke about driving Neytiri up the wall? HE’S A COMEDIAN. GET HIM A NETFLIX SPECIAL.

-Spider can’t look at Tuk because he was close with a little abused foster girl, where is the nearest bridge. NO REST FOR US, ANDREI?? ALL THE PAIN AND TRAUMA POSSIBLE CRAMMED INTO ONE EPIC.

-God the line about Spider’s therapist saying that his habit will lead him down a dangerous path, but he doesn’t understand why because he only ever hurts himself because he doesn’t see damage to himself as damage because he doesn’t see himself as worthy? Not worthy of the phone, of food, of attention or love? Truly my fav paragraph of the chapter. You are a master at establishing a character in a few subtle lines. It's a tactic that I only get after a few rewrites; instead of saying "Neteyam wants to fix everyone" you show us him in a situations where he wants to and can't help. Instead of telling me Spider doesn't care for his own safety, you tell me he's confused by his therapist saying his coping is dangerous. Instead of saying emotion, tell me something that would make me feel that emotion. Writing 101, and yet so hard to pull off properly.

-I laughed out loud at Neteyam trying not to look at Spider’s muscles I am dying. Neteyam should ask him out loud.

-EVEN TUK HAS IT ON LOCK, SHE SAYS NETEYAM HAS A THING FOR PEOPLE WHO SOUND A LITTLE SAD. This is so not funny but so funny because it’s all specifically for me.

-Neteyam later in life is like that dumbass gum commercial where the guy reveals he’s been keeping the gum wrappers every time the girl gives him one and drawing on them when and where she gave it to him? That’s Neteyam when the piles and piles of smiley face receipts fall out of his trench coat pockets.

-“I didn’t realize that was you” filthy liar. Spider’s smiley face drawing rizz is crazy. You bet your ass he wasn't doing that to every fuckers receipts.

-WHAT ON EARTH IS LO’AK DOING AT SMART PERSON SCHOOL, EVEN YOU DON’T KNOW ANDREI.

-THE CUTE BOY AT THE WINDOW ASKED FOR HIS NUMBER? AS IN, SPIDER, PHONELESS SPIDER, OR ANOTHER SNEAKY BASTARD BUTTING IN.

-Also these people have real memory problems, I’ve never forgotten any awkward interaction I’ve ever had in my entire life, especially not with a crush. I couldn't hear my crush at a party last year and I just laughed and said yeah and she was like "no I asked what you think" and not a single day goes by it doesn't play behind my eyelids like the DVD in The Ring. So, unless Spider has asked every single man at McDonalds out, he remembers when he asked a guy out and the guy sped off like he had a warrant out from Dominic Toretto.

-Oh my god, it was Spider. And this man sURVIVED that encounter? This man who can’t survive a strong breeze rn? What was he going to do with number, call him from phone booths? Send smoke signals to the write telephone wire? I am cackling at the idea that he had rehearsed this so many times and yet never actually thought through not having a phone.

-The smiley face on the paper. That revived Spider from his death post awkward encounter. There will be smiley faces on the invitations to their wedding and only Tuk will understand.

[roseofithaca]

Bound (Part 3)

Final part. Set in @idiotwithanipad 's Gore AU. Mention of her oc Amy.

-

Slowing her twirls down to a graceful finale, she bows, allowing the mist to fade away. Silver giggles at the bodies of the silly boys that surround her, their black robes drenched in blood. Her echolation offers her an outline of their poses.

One, collapsed on his side, has his eyes still open, rolled back to show their whites, blood having streamed from his nose and ears.

Another lays on his back with a shard of ice impaled through his neck, his horrified expression staring up at the stars.

A third, their leader, is now merely a headless corpse like Amy's daddy, except there's a remnant of chin still attached, Silver having exploded his brain with such force that it burst through the top of his skull.

And lastly, her wannabe Master, is a disembodied torso being feasted on by Mr. Fluff.

An echo of screams tells her that their souls are leaving their bodies. Which way they fly, she has no idea. And she couldn't care less, just so long as it's far away from here.

"Hehehe. That was exciting, wasn't it! Aww, poor Ames, she's gonna be jealous she missed it. Usually it's me who sleeps through the fun stuff, huh?" Silver skips over the bodies like she's playing hopscotch; "Hopefully Mummy will be proud of me protecting our land. Do you think she will, Mr. Fluff?"

The sound of bones crunching and flesh being squished between teeth begins to fade out, replaced with broken huffs and whimpers.

Silver turns; "Mr. Fluff? Hehe...are you okay?"

It's not often she's heard him make that kind of sound, except for when he's having one of his 'bad days' as Mummy called them. Days when she would tell Silver to give him plenty of space and try not to giggle too loud as he wasn't feeling well.

Slowly, she steps closer to where he's crouched down over the bloody torso of the dickhead Warlock leader.

"Oh, sweetheart. Don't cry over these losers. They deserved what they got, hehe." She kneels down beside him; "They were going to take you away. I couldn't allow that, could I? Hehehe, who would be my furry pillow?"

Her joke doesn't seem to lighten his mood, his head still bowed. She reaches out to pet his mane, only for him to flinch away.

A sharp grunt of fear, not his usual warning grizzle when she tries to hug him when he's not in the mood to be touched.

She allows him a moment.

Eventually he reaches his paws out to take one of her arms, writing into her wrist.

'Not cry for them. Anyone talk to Cub like they did deserve death'.

"They'd already asked to be killed when they bound you. Everything after, hehehe, made them deserve to suffer."

On that they could agree. Long gone was the Silver Ravenstar who believed in her Wiccan Rede of 'An it harm none'. Leaving those shits alive would have caused far more harm, as far as she was concerned.

"So what's with the tears? Does he taste that bad? Need some BBQ sauce?"

That brings out a laugh, or what she assumes to be one by his huffing. But then he whimpers again.

'Made me do...' his finger shakes as it struggles to finish the sentence; '.....very bad thing'.

"Whatever it was, it's not your fault. You were under their control."

Mr. Fluff growls now, beating his fist upon the mutilated body beneath him.

'No matter. Not strong enough to stop. Useless. Hurt...Killed...' a sob chokes out; '....Killed a cub. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.'

Her heart stings for him. For as much or a mystery as he is, she knows one of the few chinks in his fuzzy armour is children. It can either be a huge trigger for him, or something that turns him into a big marshmallow.

Silver smiles, sincerely.

"You mean that little guy?" She turned to the woods, "Pspsps! C'mon, cutie pie! It's safe now."

A tiny meow rang across the field, followed by the padding of tiny paws. Mr. Fluff's whimpers quietened as the kitten approached them.

Silver giggled as she picked it up, cradling it against her chest, stroking its twisted neck.

"Who do you think came to warn me you were in trouble, silly?" She asks her ancient friend.

Mr. Fluff grunts, clearly surprised.

"Hehehe, don't you know kitties are super smart? He knew you hadn't wanted to hurt him, that someone made you do it. So you don't need to worry about him being mad at you, hehe."

Silver passes the kitten to him. She can feel his paws trembling as he gently takes him.

Even if she can't see it, the image conjured in her mind of her big, hulking, furry grump holding the tiny little kitten made her heart melt. She listened to it mewl softly in Mr. Fuff's hands, then beginning to pur, leaving no doubt that there were no hard feelings.

Mr. Fluff sobs again, gruffly, letting the little one curl against his chest.

"Hehehe, even he knows you're just a big old softie." She teases.

A warm glow tints her dark, clouded vision for a few seconds, along with a brief aria of angelic voices from above.

"Oooh! Pretty!" She claps her hands.

The kitten mewls again, the sound fading along with the choir.

Silver reaches her fingers out.

"Kitty? Is he still there?"

Mr. Fluff grunts, taking her hand.

'Cub go up to stars'.

"Ooh! He got sucked off, hehe? Like Mummy said? Lucky little sod, hehe." She grins as the glow fades away too; "Aww, how sweet was that though? He only stuck around so he could help save you!"

Her companion grizzles, bashfully.

'No deserve help.'

"Oh, stop that noise! Hehehe. The whole mopey broody shit is so 90s!" She gives him a playful shove; "You're not some big bad monster. I know who you are, Amy knows who you are, Mummy...well. Mummy's complicated, hehe, but do you think she'd let us spend time together if she didn't know, deep down, you were a good person?"

His paws start to tremble again; 'She get big mad if she find out this. Hurt innocent kitten. No matter if not mean to. Same as...when go mad...and she no forgive.'

"It's not the same thing, silly billy. Even at your most bonkers, we know you'd never hurt a baby, hehe." She tentatively touches his shoulder, shuffling closer, kicking the remains away.

'Dark cub's fada...think me no be trusted...unpredictable. Mad. Dangerous. He right. Was once bound to Mistress. No more. Even when me no try to hurt, can be taken...used as weapon...Would rather have brain burnt.'

"Don't ever say that, Mr. Fluff. Me and Ames dunno what we'd do without you. You're just as special to us as Mummy and Amy's daddy."

His replying grunt doesn't sound convinced.

Carefully, she moves her hands up to cradle his chin in her palms.

"Sweet Rogh...It's not just a fluke that the kitty trusted you. He saw the same thing that I saw, that Amy saw, that Lyssie saw...that Kya and Pin and all your other babies saw...Right here." She taps his chest with her fingertips, careful to avoid his scars.

Throwing caution to the wind, she throws her arms around his neck, giving him a bigger cuddle than he's comfortable with, she knows, but tough shit. He's going to know how much she loves her grumpy beast.

Thankfully, his annoyed grizzle barely sounds sincere. Then he's nuzzling against her, especially when she rubs at his temple, summoning her powers to cast the sound of rainfall into his ears, soothing his troubled mind.

"You said you're no longer bound to Mummy...is that like how I'm bound to the moon? Why they weren't able to get me?" She asks, stroking her fingers gently through his hair.

He huffs. 'Yes. Think so. Have felt....empty, ever since woke up after...'

After what happened in the cave.

"Well...You could bind yourself to me if you want, hehe?"

He pulls back from her arms, gazing at her.

"Sorry, haha, just a suggestion. Only if you wanted to. And I'd never ask you to do anything you didn't want to do, if that's how it works, m'not sure, haha." She blushes; "But would it protect you from any bad wizards like that lot from binding you?"

Mr. Fluff is quiet for a moment before touching her.

'Cub do that for me? Be new...Mistress?'

"Hehehe, only if you promise never to call me that. Just good old Silver or Cub is fine!"

The ancient spirit makes his weird laugh, then nuzzles her hand.

'...If sure. Yes. Will belong to Silver Cub. Promise to serve and protect Cub forever.'

"Well, to be fair, I am still young in my early forties, hehe. Maybe this should be a two-person responsibility...if she's happy to join in."

A grunt of confusion. She giggles again, picturing him tilting his head to the side like a baffled pooch.

Silver jumps to her feet and tugs on his paw.

"C'mon, let's see if Fizzy is awake and get her to come out and play." She encourages, brightly; "I bet she's gonna want a look at this lovely crime scene before the cops show up."

[arkhammaid]

AAAAHHHH, i was just toying around with ideas and am soooo happy i hit bullseye!!!!

Now the relevant questions...

when is the baby conceived? bc that HAS to be a magnussen (aka sticking it on pole and having a child 10 months later). it has to happen after BAKU, no? bc you said they kiss/fuck the first time after qatar and i don't think mark will allow to hit it bare yet. and hungary was so anticlimactic (pun intended 😏) that's not happening, so it HAS to be baku, right? Right?!!! RIGHT?!!!!! bc i don't think oscar cannot wait (me, it is me, i cannot wait) another year for the championship for it....

ALSO what will the grid family tree now look like with seb as charles grid dad and charles as oscars and mark as oscars wife... O.o

(violently kicking my legs under the table rn bc I'm in the office indulging in girl!mark brainrot and can't insanely giggle anymore bc the colleague two places down returned from lunch and already looked at me strange) sincerely, thank you for indulging me <3

- "pretty twinks half my age" anon (going with 💫 now bc that's how my head feels like)

anon i love you literally hit me with anything and my brain will make it work. send me gold and i will make a fucking ring out of it to put it on your finger because you are yapping at ME, like i feel so honored do you understand???

okay so. rough timeline of markoscar happening is:

qatar 2024 oscar wins, celebration is a dinner and oscar and mark get wine drunk and they kiss. then they fuck.

winter break is where they get real nasty, after mark sorts her shit out and oscar coming back in february 2025 is a changed man. rougher, nastier, cuntier, with a nasty aussie accent

the conversation of "i will peg you if you win the championship" happens after the first or second race week and oscar wakes up. taking his own joke 'no friends, only enemies' very seriously. oscar heart eyes is over we only have... oscar. future word champion.

it takes a few races and oscar starts to lead the championship and this is where mark gives him a reward (pavlov trained the shit out of him), aka allows him to fuck him bare. once. and would you look at that, ms mark webber is pregnant!

yada yada, oscar win's the championship in mclaren, mark is visibly pregnant but still pegs him as promised, he slaps a ring on it, max has his light bulb moment somewhere in between, oscar becomes a father, gets even nastier on track, 2026 is ANOTHER wdc where he was literally fist fighting god. like, NASTY. he brought the old f1 back and all because of one woman. the power mark has...

do NOT ask for the grid family tree because fernando just laid claim on oscar as son and max is happily his brother, due to nando also adopting him, while charles is oscar's father but also having an affair with max? the more you think about it, the more you get confused. what's important, markoscar is real and true

(you and me both nonnie. i'm typing away on my laptop while my dad is walking around while being on the phone and i'm trying to hide my grin or else he will come suddenly up to me and i will NOT do this today-)

[whenihaveyouromione]

When I Have You - Chapter 100

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3.

---

Happy 100 chapters all! This was not the chapter I hoped to be 100 (it will be 102) but the story called for some additions to be written to help progress it, so this is now chapter 100! Thank you to those who are still reading this after 100 chapters!

---

Chapter 100

“It’ll be fine, Hermione,” Ron said, for what felt like the tenth time that morning. He finished putting the last sock on Rose’s little foot and then stood up, allowing his daughter to roll onto her tummy and try and wriggle herself forward ever so slightly to reach one of her toys.

Ron hadn’t been too impressed the first time she’d done that just two days ago, because she was only three months old and wasn’t supposed to be doing that just yet. But she was determined and insisted on rolling now whenever they placed her on her back.

“What’s she going to do in a joke shop for eight hours?” Hermione questioned, also for the tenth time that morning. “Especially now that she seems to want to move more.”

“I’ll bring her some toys,” Ron said. “And, George — I mean, we — have products on the shelf for kids her age.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say to Hermione, who’d always been mildly opposed to the products, no matter the age of their user. 

Ron sighed. “Are you going to wish me luck? It’s my first day, and I’m feeling a little nervous.”

Hermione’s eyes snapped from Rose and settled on Ron, and he saw her expression soften. “Good luck,” she said. “You’ll be great. You’re just working with your brother.”

“I think that’s the most terrifying part,” Ron confessed. In the days leading up to him starting at the shop, increasing doubts had crept into his mind, settling themself deep within the parts of his brain he’d worked on over the years. Would he be good enough? Was he capable of running a business? But the worst one was could he work with his brother? 

Their relationship in recent times had become positive. He and George got along rather well, and the incessant teasing he’d received when he was younger had abated as both of them matured. But they also only saw each other a few times a month, mostly at the Burrow under the watchful eye of their mother. This was something incredibly new for both of them, especially for Ron.  And they wouldn’t really be working together. Once Ron got settled, George would go back to managing the Diagon Alley shop and Ron would be solely in charge of the Hogsmeade one. They’d probably only meet once a week to sort things out or discuss new products. So, it probably wasn’t going to be too bad.

“You’ll be fine,” Hermione said, stepping forward to kiss him. “It’ll take some time to get used to it, but you’ll figure it out. I know you will. Besides, you forget that you’re essentially in charge.”

“I’ve never been in charge of anything before.” Another fear of Ron’s. Hermione had stepped perfectly into the role of Head of the Office of Personal Law, and Harry had been blessed with a natural ability for leadership. But Ron… he had never had any real experience. He’d always followed Harry’s lead — having his say where he felt necessary — but at the end of the day, Harry had always been the leader. This time, he would be in charge. People would turn to him for advice, support… anything. 

“Well, you are now!” Hermione answered cheerfully. “I know you’re nervous. I was, too, when I first started. But you’ll be fine.” She kissed him again and then picked up Rose. She handed her to Ron. “You’ve got this,” she said. “Just… just don’t let Rose get too invested in what’s there.”

Ron knew she wanted to say it as a joke, but he heard the sincerity in her tone. He smiled and nodded, knowing that it would probably just about kill Hermione if their daughter turned out to be more of a Weasley than a Granger. 

…

He’d contemplated Apparting to Hogsmeade, but thought better of it, knowing that he had Rose with him. Apparition was a tricky thing to learn, and whilst Ron now considered himself quite apt at it, he wasn’t game enough to attempt Side-Along Apparition just yet (or ever). He’d never forgive himself if Rose was to accidentally lose an arm or a leg or have something horrible happen to her. He still remembered his own Splinching, and how painful it had been. He could never inflict that on his daughter. 

So, he Floo’d. The shop that George had found in Hogsmeade had its own fireplace. It hadn’t been connected to anything upon purchasing it, and it had taken George a little bit of fussing with the Ministry to open it up again for him. Apparently the name Weasley — especially given that their own brother was the Head of Magical Transportation — had meant little in the way of the Ministry’s fear of what it would be used for again. 

What Ron hadn’t known was this shop had once belonged to a Death Eater which had sold all sorts of unruly and illegal items. Since the war, it was cleared out of all its Dark artifacts, and had sat abandoned ever since. George had been eyeing it off for some time but only recently had the money to go through with it. 

“Ah, you’re here!”

Ron was surprised to see George already there, though he was thankful. In truth, he realised that he hadn’t had plans on what to do if his brother had arrived after him. Despite them spending some of Ron’s time off after leaving the Aurors going through everything, Ron supposed he wouldn’t really get the idea of it until he’d been there for a bit.

He likened it to starting with the Aurors. He’d been a bit lost and new at the start of that, but eventually, he got comfortable enough to become bored by it. He supposed it would be similar here, though he hoped he wouldn’t get bored by this job. Something new and different seemed to happen every day at the joke shop, from what Ron had witnessed. 

“Yeah.” The fireplace led into the space they’d set up as the office. It was slightly larger than the space George had at Diagon Alley, but not by much. Already, it was crowded with bits and pieces of products or prototypes of new products. It was almost like George was using this new premise as a dumping ground for all the things he couldn’t fit at the other one. 

But there was a small, cleared space in the corner with a chair which Ron knew was for him. Another reminder that he was in charge here. 

“You don’t sound thrilled,” George said. “You’re not nervous, are you?”

Ron shrugged and George laughed.

“It’s just me, mate,” he said. “Your brother.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Ron confessed. 

George chuckled. “Well, hopefully within a week, you’ll be rid of me and you can run things as you wish. Two weeks, max, because that’s how long I have Verity for. She’s been really great, volunteering to stick around for a few more weeks, but she’s been abundantly clear that two weeks is her max. After that, she’s out of here.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll be fine after two weeks,” Ron said, offering a smile. “You’ve already shown me the ropes, and I know where everything is on the shelves, I know all the products. It’s just the… the running of it that I’ll have to get used to.”

“That’ll be easy enough,” George said confidently. “You’ve met the staff we got, they’ve met you. I’ll help you with the rostering, too. That’s probably the hardest part, really. Oh, and paying them, of course.”

It had been agreed between them that once Ron got the hang of the store management part, he’d move onto other things, too, such as being responsible for paying the staff (both here and at the Diagon Alley premises) and a few other administration aspects of the business. There would come a time, George said, where the staff would be confident in managing the shopfront by themselves which would mean Ron could stay at home and do it. 

That had been the appealing factor in it and he’d agreed. 

He’d also play a hand in new product designs — as George seemed to think he had a knack for it — and everything else as time went on. It seemed busy, but Ron wanted busy. The reason he’d quit the Aurors was because it hadn’t been busy.

Today, though, he’d be merely learning what it was like to work with customers. 

“So, I have Oswald coming in today,” George said. “We agreed that he seemed the most competent so I thought it’d be easier to have him. He’ll be here in about fifteen.”

Ron glanced through the narrow doorway which led out to the shop front. Everything was set up and looking well. 

“You think the three of us can manage it… you know, with two of us not knowing what we’re doing?”

George nodded, though Ron saw the hesitation in his expression. “I think so. You’re not a complete idiot, Ron, despite what I used to tell you. We’ll be fine. Busy, but fine.”

Ron nodded.

George’s eyes finally fell on Rose, who had remained quiet the whole time as if realising it was important for her to do so. A small smile fell across his lips. “Besides, we have the biggest selling factor of all.”

“Don’t let Hermione hear you refer to her as that,” Ron warned, but he smiled. “You know, she’s worried that Rose spending too much time here will make her actually like it.”

“Inevitable,” George said. “She’s part Weasley, it’s in her blood to like what we sell here. Anyway, we have some stuff that’s suited just for her age.” He waved his wand and a moment later, a small, blue teddy bear landed in his arms. He tapped it with his wand and the bear changed to a deep blood, red. He tapped it again and now it was pink. This didn’t seem to interest Rose at all.

“Got anything that makes lots of noise?” Ron questioned.

George grimaced. “Didn’t we go through exactly what every product did last week?”

“Yes, but —”

George tapped the bear again and this time music began to play. Rose’s eyes landed on the toy as she watched it sing. He then put it on the ground, tapping it with his wand again and the bear danced around the room, much to Rose’s delight. 

“If anyone’s interested in this, make sure you tell them it can also be charmed to speak the kid’s name,” George said. “Perfect kid’s toy.” He nodded to Rose, who was still fixated on the dancing, singing bear. “Quite popular, too.”

“I can see that,” Ron laughed. 

“We’ll be fine,” George said. “Especially with Rosie here to woo all the customers.”

Ron smiled. “Again, don’t let Hermione hear you saying that. She’ll probably want to change our arrangements if she does.”

George nodded and winked. “Sure. Will be our little secret.”

For the next little bit, Ron walked through the shop, familiarising himself with where everything was. He wanted to be able to point people in the right direction if they asked for something. He just about had it all memorised when a young man of about twenty appeared via the fireplace out the back. 

He was dark-haired, olive-skinned and looked eager and excited to be standing in the small office. Ron remembered him from a few weeks back when George had introduced him to Ron. Oswald, his name was, and he had been looking for a job for some time. Ron had to admit he was a bit boisterous, but George insisted they needed enthusiasm in a place like this. 

He was one of five employees who’d be working here with Ron. Over time, Ron hoped he’d learn all their names. 

“Right on time,” George said, looking at his watch and then smiling at Oswald. “Impressive.”

“Can’t be late for my first day, Mr Weasley,” Oswald answered, sounding almost breathless. His eyes flicked to Ron, who had returned from his investigation of the shop, Rose still in his arms. “Oh, hello Mr Weasley. And Little Weasley.”

Ron hid a laugh at that. He wouldn’t say it, but he found the idea of Rose being referred to as ‘Little Weasley’ endearing. 

“Oswald,” Ron answered with a nod.

“I’m ready to go,” Oswald then said. “Tell me what I need to do, where I need to be, and I’ll do it and I’ll be there.”

“Your first step will be to slow down,” George said, grinning. “I do like how enthusiastic you are, though. But save some of it for when we have the streams of customers pouring in, in a little bit.”

Oswald didn’t seem all that perturbed by George’s statement, for he ploughed on. “Are the Hogwarts students coming here? It’s been a few years since I was there, but I know a few of the now seventh years. Will be good to see them again.”

“I sent an owl last week to McGonagall,” George said patiently. “Explained about our opening and whatnot. She has made special arrangements for an extra Hogsmeade trip — called in a favour, you know?”

Ron raised an eyebrow at that. “You and McGonagall are on good terms, are you?”

George answered with a shrug. 

“Oh, great!” Oswald explained. “Well, I guess I should set up. I’ll be out the front, right?”

“Yes,” George said. “However… you answer to Ron, not to me. Within a week, you’ll hardly see me. He’s your boss.”

Oswald nodded and looked directly at Ron, awaiting instructions. Ron flushed slightly, remembering all the times he’d walked into Hermione’s office at the Ministry and witnessed her giving orders to Malfoy and Maia with an air of confidence and authority. He would have done anything for that confidence now rather than the fluster that he felt instead. 

“Er, yeah… maybe you can walk around the store, you know? Offering help to find things.”

Oswald nodded again and left for the front. 

George laughed, causing Ron to spin around to face him. “What’s so funny?”

“You’ll have to learn how to be more commanding than that,” George said. “Otherwise they’ll walk all over you. Use the same authority you used when you used to kick those first years out of the chairs in the Gryffindor common room.”

“What?”

George waved him away. “You know what I mean. Also, we have five minutes until opening. What’s Rosie going to do?”

Ron stood there for a moment before answering. “I brought something to carry her in. Let me get it on.”

…

If there was one thing George had been right about, it was that Rose would be a huge selling factor. People apparently loved seeing a baby in the shop — especially one that smiled so much. And apparently, they adored men with babies, too, for Ron received many compliments throughout the day about how good it was to see a baby out with her dad. 

The day went well. George had also been right about Ron being fine. He was fine. In fact, he was more than fine. As the customers trickled in, in the morning, he got a good feel for what it was like to talk to strangers. Strangers were something he usually avoided, because most of the time they only approached him because they knew he was Harry’s brother-in-law, Ginny’s brother, or both. But it actually felt nice talking to someone outside of his family. He rarely did that, he realised. 

These people came in because they were interested in what he had to sell, not who he knew. They asked him questions, gave him compliments, and Ron was pleased to learn that it all felt natural to him. He wasn’t lost, he knew his way around the shop, and by the time the Hogwarts students piled in, excited and joyous for an extra few hours after classes, he felt extremely comfortable. 

Business went well, too. Ron remembered all those times he’d come to Diagon Alley and seen the place packed. This shop was slightly smaller than the other, and it, too, filled up with eager customers. They made a fortune at a guess, which left George grinning from ear to ear. 

Rose had stayed strapped to his chest for most of the day, save for when he had to feed her or change her. And things went smoothly enough that he was able to slip away for a few moments to do either. It probably wasn’t good for her to be in the carrier for as many hours, but he knew that most days wouldn’t be as busy. Eventually, the excitement would wear off and Rose would also become more active. But he made a mental note to himself that he’d have to figure out a way to keep Rose active and playing, but also be able to watch her simultaneously. And he’d find a way, because he was determined for this system to work. 

By the time five o’clock came, the last customers were leaving and George was bolting the door shut, manually and with charms. Oswald, who’d worked hard and tirelessly the whole time, collapsed into a chair by the counter, groaning. 

“My feet,” he complained. 

“You did well,” Ron said, realising it was appropriate to compliment the young man. It was the truth, anyway. 

“What a wonderful first day!” George said cheerfully. “I couldn’t even tell you the Galleons we brought in today. And look!” He indicated the almost bare shelves. 

Ron was about to ask if they had enough to restock before he realised he should know that. Then it occurred to him that he did know. There were stacks and stacks of products crammed out the back, shrunk to fit. 

“How do you feel, Ron?” George said. “Good?”

“Great!” Ron answered truthfully. “Honestly… it feels… right.” It felt more than right being here — like he’d been built to run a joke shop all along. Despite his nerves early on, once put into the situation, it had all come naturally — easily. 

“Well, get used to it,” George continued, “because I imagine the next week or so will be just as busy. Minus the Hogwarts kids, of course. Doubt I could convince McGonagall to let them out every day.”

“That was weird, don’t you think?” Ron said. “Seeing the kids, but not being one of them. Not being a kid anymore.” 

George waved him away. “You get used to it. Besides,” he nodded at Rose, “eleven years and you’ll be at the station again, waving her off.”

Ron looked down at his daughter strapped to him still. She’d fallen asleep not so long ago after he’d fed her a bottle. “You don’t think we can find somewhere for her to move around more, do you? She likes to move, and I just don’t think it’s good for her to stay strapped to me all day.”

George thought for a moment. Ron knew he wasn’t about to banish Rose from the shop after the hit she’d been with the customers. 

“I could put together a play pen or something. Give her some of the toys —”

“Even I draw the line at having my daughter on display, mate,” Ron said. “But a playpen could work. Just maybe… somewhere not in the eye of the public.”

George looked disgruntled, but nodded. “Yeah, we can figure it out. We will figure it out. Besides, in a bit you can do things from home anyway.”

“Thanks,” Ron said. 

“Alright,” George said, “I’ve got to head off to Diagon Alley and assist with the restocking there. You two alright to do it here?”

“Sure,” Ron said. “Part of the job, isn’t it?”

Oswald was slow to get to his feet, but he nodded. “On it.”

George nodded to both of them and was gone a moment later, leaving Oswald and Ron.

They spent the next half an hour restocking the shelves until they were bursting again, and Ron sent Oswald home. It was nearing six now, and Hermione would be wondering where he was — and probably fretting about Rose. He was surprised she hadn’t come here just to check it out. 

Before he headed to the fireplace to go home, Ron took one last look at the shop. He had a good feeling about this new job. It felt right, like he could manage it. It had been chaotic today, but he knew that once he got the hang of it, it would be easy. 

But he knew with one hundred percent certainty now that he had made the right choice.

He was no longer Ron Weasley, Auror. 

He was Ron Weasley, joke shop owner.

[arius6454]

When I got back with Klaus, I didn't know what to think about my family's home being destroyed.

"Jade, I'm so sorry," he apologized, his sincere gaze meeting mine right after.

"Klaus… we have started a war," I stated. Suddenly, I saw mom come into view as she growled and pushed him out of her path. Fortunately, I pushed Klaus out of the way in time, getting hurt in the process. I never understood her hatred till when I was 18. My mother and father had told me that I would be allowed to date, but only if they were a Wolf shifter. My mother assumed that me hanging out with guys meant that I like them which was extremely wrong and just some sort of misunderstanding.

I shook my head and mustered up my sharp nails, my mom knowing full well that I had taken her actions seriously. She then frowned and walked away to wherever she had to go, not wanting to start a fight with her daughter over some boy… or a dragon. Transforming back into my human form, a smile appeared on my face once I realized my sleeves hadn’t been ruined due to changing my form. But having clothes on did feel really nice.

"Klaus," I called out as I saw a serious look on his face. He faced me, before looking at a little cut I had gotten on my neck due to my mom’s actions. Noticing he was deep in thought, I couldn’t help but glance at him, butterflies erupting in my stomach.

He was considerably handsome, his slick black hair and his beautiful black eyes fitting his demeanor. Before knowing him, I noted that he tended to appear as a cold person but was a compassionate person at heart. Maybe it’s because he cared for me that I liked him. Or maybe it’s because he treated everyone equally or there were just more reasons I liked him that I hadn’t taken notice of yet. Either way, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. I didn’t care what my clan had to say with their ‘Don’t date or marry a dragon’ nonsense. From the nice things he had said and done to our past hangouts and to his lips, I liked him for him. At that moment, he looked up at me, catching me in the act.

“Why were you looking at me like that?” Klaus asked and I felt my cheeks burn red. I guess I’m doomed.

“…Maybe it’s because whenever I look at you, my brain seems to stop working,” I confess, my eyes focused on the ground. I didn’t know how to confess or how to scream out my feelings and it was nerve racking.

Klaus folded his arms, his eyebrows raised. “Do you… like me?” he asked as I felt his gaze on me. He really had to hit the mark, didn’t he?

A sigh escaped my lips as I thought of a response. A response that wouldn’t ruin our relationship or my relationship to my clan.

“I don’t like you, Klaus. I love you. I love you more than anything,” I explained, shutting my eyes in embarrassment. What kind of response was that since that had got to be the worst confession ever-

“I honestly never thought you’ll feel the same, Jade.” Klaus responded and it only made my heart skip a beat.

“You’re joking… right? And if you aren’t, then it means that you’ve liked me all this time?” I question, my head spinning at the thought of not realizing his feelings for me.

“I do love you but the reason for my aloofness was just… that I’m a dragon and you’re a wolf. People say we are incompatible but it didn’t stop me from liking you. However, it did stop me from thinking you’d like me back,” Klaus explained as he took his hand in mine.

A laugh escaped my mouth at his words. If only I knew he liked me, then I would’ve confessed earlier on.

“So… can I kiss you?”

(This isn’t my story. I helped the person edit their story so here’s their wattpad name: @LilyRaphael6. I would like to give a shout out to @youneedsomeprompts. Thanks for the prompts since it was really helpful and I’m shocked I used like four of them)

[bradleysbradshaws]

I keep thinking about what the anon had said about the Roosmav server having its own "corner" in the Roosmav fandom. But...compared to where else?

I don't know if they are aware that they have a monopoly on all of the creativity and conversation in this fandom. It may seem like a small corner to them because Roosmav itself is a very niche, concentrated fandom, but it's all there is to the Roosmav fandom. There is twitter, but really...those are kindergarten-grade takes on Roosmav that I am never going to be satisfied participating in. Just people making the same babygirl/MILF jokes. And while I think that was the conversation I had primarily participated in while I was on the Roosmav server, it certainly isn't the only thing I am here for now.

What I want to say is that I'm in Roosmav for all of it as much as everyone else. Underage omega!Bradley, included - it still isn't my personal nut, but it's something I have no problem at all reading or discussing and finding the thematic merit of. I have been planning, writing, and drawing bottom!Bradley for over twice as long as I had been complaining about it last year, and honestly, that is going to be a large part of me going forward, no matter what. Bella reposting her old fics really did throw me back nicely to the strict dynamics that I had loved for Roosmav last year, but I think I've commented the most on her omega!Rooster fic out of all of them this time. This is the type of brain exercising that I have found that I enjoy doing.

I wish they would know that we exist on the exact same wavelength, albeit on parallel paths. This isn't by my own choice, as what I sincerely dream most of doing would be to be able to contribute to the Roosmav server again - it truly was the honor and joy of my life to be able to draw those little dick!Rooster pics - but I respect their feelings and know it won't happen. I just hope that they can allow me to try to form as fulfilling of an experience for myself as I can in the place that they had explicitly told me to go. Me trying to make potential friends is not competing with the Roosmav server. I have no other choice if I want any sort of meaningful engagement or conversation about them again.

I keep saying this, but we are on the exact same side and doing the same thing - creating for and contributing to Roosmav. Please let me find friends in the future to do it with.

[nonenosome2]

The only kind of gender reassignment surgery being done on kids is whenever an intersex child is born, and they forcefully change their body parts to conform to the cishet gender binary.

Wait. I thought gender was fluid and the gender binary wasn't real. Wouldn't that mean they are changing the child's body parts to fit the "sex binary"?/s

Also, going "Well this also happens" isn't actually an argument. Especially when I don't think babies should even get circumcisions, let alone surgeries like that.

But you transphobes are deafeningly silent about that.

Damn. Is it transphobic to be for adults doing whatever they like if I'm also not for kids getting hormones, puberty blockers, and/or surgeries?

You HAVE to lie about what trans people advocate for, in order to get gullible people on board with your genocidal bullshit.

Oh. So it's NOT trans people fighting bills that say children can't get puberty blockers, hormones, or surgeries? Are those people secretly transphobes who are just doing it to make trans people look bad?

Also, genocidal?

But maybe you do know what that word means. I'm sure you could point me at something that is going to "genocide" transpeople.

I would respond with "actually, that is not how gender affirming care works for children," but I know that would just go straight through one ear and out the other.

Me: Adults can do what they want but children shouldn't be allowed to be put on puberty blockers, hormones, or get surgeries.

You: THAT'S NOT WHAT WE WANT!

Me: Cool. So we agree. 👍

---

Couple questions though.

Why are people fighting so hard to make it legal to do those things to kids if that's not what they want?

Why it that people are calling bills banning such things "genocide"?

If this is not how "gender affirming care works for children" then there is no reason for you to be arguing with me about why the things I listed shouldn't be illegal for children.

Your shit could fertilize a plant that would be more intelligent than you. I've seen multi-level marketing scams that were more honest. Your brain could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides. Calling you braindead would be speaking ill of the dead. You're not even a joke, because people actually like jokes. I don't feel sorry for you, because that would imply I see you as a human. Kill yourself, so that way a better person can use your computer.

Yes. Yes. I must be evil because I don't want kids getting hormones, puberty blockers, or surgeries. I couldn't possibly be saying exactly what I mean and you can secretly read people's minds but are hiding from the CIA so they can't use you as a weapon.

Edit: @a-silver-wind decided to reblog and block so posting reply here.

You are so confidently wrong, it is astounding.

Can't wait to see how wrong I am.

Puberty blockers are reversible,

Even if that were true, their side-effects aren't.

hormones are in everything,

Damn. So what do trans people need them for?

Or maybe you were deliberately misunderstanding what was said so you could pretend to be smart? Do you also say "chemicals are in everything"?

and the claim that trans people are forcing children to undergo gender reassignment surgery is false.

I never made that claim and it has nothing to do with my stance. I don't care if the parents are transphobes and the child sincerely wants any of the above.

It's fear mongering

So no child has had any of the above done to them and then found out they weren't trans?

made to rile up idiots like you and incite violence against innocent trans people.

Is this part of the whole "genocide" claim? I see you still haven't gotten me any sources on that.

That's like saying: blah blah blah

There's no need for a metaphor. Everything is right there in this thread.

[i-just-like-goats]

Karma x Female Reader

Summary: the confession scene

Warnings: none that I can think of

WC: 0.9k

Main Masterlist

Part 1

Karma seemed extra distracted today. He was paying even less attention than usual. You scribbled on a small piece of paper and handed it to Karma.

'You good? Your shuffling is distracting'

He gave you the paper.

'I've been thinking and I came to a realisation'

"Hey! Stop passing notes in class!"

Koro sensei took the paper from your hands and threw it in the bin before you could finish blinking. You sighed.

It had been two months since you first joined, and during those two months, Karma had easily become your best friend.

Your first meeting intrigued you, so you allowed yourself to get to know him better. You don't regret it at all, but there was a shift in your feelings. Annoyingly, you just couldn't put a finger on it. You sighed again, allowing Koro sensei's words to enter one ear and out the other.

Your sleep on the desk during break was disrupted by someone shaking you. You grumpily opened your eyes and allowed them to travel up the person's body until you met the devilish eyes of Karma.

"Morning sunshine,"

"I was sleeping peacefully until you woke me up,"

He laughed. It was music to your ears. You buried your face into your arms, pretending to want to go back to sleep, when in reality, you did it to conceal your warm cheeks. Around him, you were very easily flustered.

"Come on, let's skip next class,"

"Only if you tell me what's been bothering you,"

Karma paused to stare into your eyes.

"Sure thing." He smiled.

You pushed yourself out of your desk and walked towards your usual spot with Karma.

"So, spill,"

You leaned against a tree and eyed Karma expectantly. He sat down at the foot of the tree.

"You're nervous. Why? You haven't talked much and your eyes keep glancing everywhere,"

He made no reply.

"Did I make you flustered?"

"No,"

"So out with it. Unless you're professing your love for me, you can easily tell me what's bothering you. We're best friends aren't we?"

Karma started picking at the grass, while you were left to wait. With a sigh, you slid down to sit next to him. You gripped his cheeks to look at you.

"Well?"

"It's not funny,"

"What isn't?"

"You joke a lot, but what if I did want to confess? You would be making fun of my feelings,"

"Then I'd apologise straight away,"

"So apologise,"

You laughed at the absurd thought that Karma actually felt the same way you did. His eyes pierced into yours as realisation hit you. He was serious. Your cheeks instantly heat up from his focus on you.

"I apologise, Karma. I didn't know that you reciprocated,"

"You're forgiven, and I apologise for placing you in an uncomfortable position. I just feel so happy around you, so it's fine if you don't reciprocate,"

You lightly slapped Karma. He touched his cheek as he stared at you offended that you would do that.

"Still not paying attention are you?"

"What?"

"I said that I didn't know that you reciprocated my feelings,"

"And?"

You playfully rolled your eyes.

"Use that stupidly smart brain of yours,"

He pouted. Karma's eyes widened and darted to meet your exasperated, now relieved eyes.

"Get it?"

All his former embarrassment melted away and in its place was a devilish smirk ready to tease you.

"Has my Y/N been thinking about dating me? It's alright if I call you mine, right?"

His questions were teasing, but the last one was sincere.

"Only if I can call you mine, too,"

His grin widened.

"I plan to make you Mrs Akabane in the future,"

Your heartbeat pounded almost painfully.

"Stupid Karma, you haven't even taken me out on a date yet,"

He pulled you into his chest.

"We'll have time for that,"

"Should we tell the class?"

"Hm. We won't hide it, but instead we'll let them figure it out,"

You sighed at Karma's smirk thinking of the chaos the class would be in once you both revealed it.

Four months later, the class' plan to get you together amused you both. You both had just climbed out of an open window just as the class were locking the classroom.

"You really couldn't catch me back there?"

"I'm a helpless girl,"

"Bull, we both know you're much stronger than most of the people in our class,"

"Perhaps I'm even stronger than you,"

"Don't push your luck L/N,"

"Back to last names now? No love? It must be true,"

Karma made no reply. Dating you had led to your teasing becoming more frequent as you became more comfortable around him.

"Shut up,"

"Is that really how you should address your lover?"

"It's alright if that lover is you,"

"You wound me." You place your hand dramatically over your heart.

"Whatever. Come on, let's go surprise the class,"

"Their reactions will be so fun to watch,"

You were correct. Their exaggerated reactions amused you endlessly. Your eyes met Karma’s amidst the bombardment of questions from the girls. He smiled at you gratefully and you winked. 

The class doesn't ever have to know that Karma didn't confess to you today. Rather he confessed two months ago. You found today amusing, but you didn't think you could handle their anger at you for concealing your relationship from the class for two months all for the sake of your own amusement.

Some things were best kept as secrets.

A/N: yeah, the secret's super mundane but oh well

[etaleah]

I Love Pinky and the Brain.

I love how much they love each other and that the actors understand this to be the backbone of the show.

I love that they’re actually allowed to have sincere, genuine moments of emotion, something no other set of Animaniacs characters has ever been allowed to have.

I love that because they’re animal characters, they can have all these little physical cues like wagging tails and lowered ears to let us know what they’re feeling.

I love that Brain is allowed to be a little fat and it’s never mocked or insulted at all. There’s no fat jokes, no scenes of Brain greedily stuffing his face with sweets or huffing and puffing while he runs. He’s just allowed to be fat and no one cares. It’s the only show I can think of where the fat character is the smart one who doesn’t care about food and the thin character is the dumb one who loves food and gets excited to eat it.

I love their shameless pop culture references and political satire that goes impressively hard and gives zero fucks.

I love that Pinky is a kind and gentle character who for the most part retains those qualities even in cases where he gains intelligence. I also love that Pinky is not stupid 24/7 and will have occasional moments of brilliance.

I love that Brain always looks so nervous whenever Pinky tries to initiate any physical contact whatsoever. It’s one of my favorite character traits ever and I watch for it every time.

I love that because they’re cartoon mice, they can indulge in a little slapstick humor and have it be okay. If this show had live-action humans, there’d be all these think pieces about how Pinky and the Brain normalizes abuse or something like that, but because they’re cartoon mice no one cares.

I love the originality of a character who is not a villain but still wants a villainous thing (world domination) and how he always causes his own failures rather than the traditional setup of a hero swooping in to save the day.

I love that they manage to do interesting storylines and backstories with the animal testing angle without making it into a preachy PETA-esque mouthpiece about how animal testing is bad.

I love how catchy and memorable the theme song is, especially with the reboot’s new visuals.

I love their catchphrases and how you never know what Pinky will be pondering.

I love how well they manage to keep it from feeling formulaic even though it technically is.

I REALLY love the gay subtext.

Just have a lot of love for these mice. That is all.