#my brain hurts owie owie owie

[hulloitsdani]

In today's episode of cleaning out the wip backlog, we got an attempt to reimagine the Alfonse brave alt that got totally derailed by the Elden Ring DLC soundtrack! I have been chipping away at this for MONTHS now, and will probably continue to do so, but I think it's at a stage where I am willing to share it.

But uh, to say that I only drew this would be a big fat lie. So if you would be so kind, come with a journey under the cut as I show you some of the methods to my madness.

With me? Awesome. Let's get a little weird.

So I initially intended this to be a one and done drawing. Similar to the outfit prompts. I had an idea and only intended to make one illustration of it. Since it was on the brain at the time, I wanted to reference the Miquella and Radahn shot from Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree. That resulted in this sketch:

Fun! I had a good time with this one.

So during the time of Alfonse's Brave alt release, there was conversation about how, despite how pretty the art was, it was not quite fitting for Alfonse's character. And I was inclined to agree. Alfonse had a loaded relationship with his dad, and giving him an alt that was strictly him in his outfit didn't work in the same way it did for a character like Ike. So I was playing with how to solve for that here, went through a few options that aren't visible anymore, and came to the conclusion to keep the silhouette but change the details. Alfonse, a not very tall or buff guy, didn't really look right in Gustav's chest plate. So I threw on the dragon scales back on and things started falling into place. Neat!

Problem: I didn't really want to be working on this sketch anymore. Happens. Sometimes you reach the maximum amount of fun you're going to have with a piece and it's healthier to just leave it where it is. But I was still having fun with the idea of a Miquella and Radahn power dynamic with Kiran and Alfonse. Maybe not as fundamentally and delightfully fucked, but running with the idea of how bad it might be for everyone involved if Kiran was able to put their friends under contract.

So here is when I opened up a new file and started brainstorming.

So is the premise for this au(?). I guess this is an au! Cool! Idk I was just having a little bit of fun. This is also as clean as these sketches are gonna get. If messy doodles and thumbnails are your thing, you've come to the right place.

So something I wanted to explore right away was how, unlike Miquella and Radahn, both parties are still somewhat mentally present in this new state they're in. It gets a little weird, as Kiran is in Alfonse's head so often that it starts to become unclear where one starts and the other ends. But they're in this predicament because their loneliness issues got the better of them. Overriding the other's thoughts and presence would defeat the point. So they'll have moments where you can see them... separate, for lack of a better way of putting it. Where Kiran will pop up from their apparent malaise and check if Alfonse is (physically) alright.

Next up is spectral arm time. I imagine that Kiran has a jack pot of different powerful abilities, but they're not a fan of using them. Got this visual in my head of them summoning these hands to cover more weapon types, but doing so makes them physically recoil. The force of it tries to push them away, but it can't, so they come back to rest, more winded than before.

These marketable plushies are often bought together please do not separate!!! Idea here being that if enough damage is dealt to Alfonse to knock him down, Kiran will get PISSED, grab the axe, and go nuts. A little spooky considering that it wasn't clear that they could leave Alfonse's side up until that point. Is definitely the most emotion we've seen on them so far too. But while in their frenzy, Alfonse, upon realizing the god on his shoulder is gone, will grab the bonds connecting them and pull them back. Very desperate moves from the both of them. Rational thought has left the building.

Last but not least, hey this looks familiar! Found the sketch for initial illustration. Neat! Genuinely forgot that I initially sketched it here, and then copied it elsewhere to make a full illustration. But that's her!!! That's the bones!!! Kinda crazy looking at it now considering how long I've been tinkering with this one.

Also I couldn't fit this anywhere, but before I forget, Kiran can't really see? They're having an Everything Everywhere All At Once moment where, if not grounding themself via Alfonse, they will be blinded by the infinite amount of everything their divine domain now ties them to. So they look out of it a lot of the time because... well they are. Alfonse is seeing for the both of them.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! This was rotating this in my head for a while and I'm glad to have it finally out there :D

[fatratinatophat]

Did some doodles with my best friend, @towost at 12:00-1:00 am today, mine are mostly all just 5 Pebbles cause he's cool and best. He did some ocs, Smiling Friends, Regretevator, and some Rain World too :) this is gonna be a nightmare to tag

Everything with the purple/pink color on it is mine, the stuff in white is my friend's

(For all my very few followers I haven't been uploading because LOTS of shit has been happening so I haven't felt like drawing recently but I liked these doodles a lot so I might do more soon, not sure)

[tdutb]

i mighta spent a bit too much time on OJ,,,,,,,, @peppermintz-25 oooooo au stuff be upon ye

[destroyscout]

The dual sensation of "this chapter is shit" and "thank fuck I posted a chapter"

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

Oh.

Prompt:

Jason is terrified of Damian al Ghul-Wayne.

Talia dipped him in the Pit, fed him lies, put him through the worst kinds of pain possible for the sake of training and turned him into a monster that went to heel when called. A monster even Ra’s was wary of.

He’s terrified of Damian, because if his mother managed to manipulate and play him like a fiddle, then she must have taught the same to her son.

Damian, who only has memories of a catatonic Jason cooing at him, cuddling him and protecting him, is becoming progressively more distressed by Jason’s perpetual cold shoulder and skittish behavior whenever Jason sees him.

[enchantedephiphany]

today felt better. mind fog annoying rather than almost impossible to work with. despite waking up a bit early and lying in bed a while feeling like 0 energy, I had some energy to start with even tho my mind was prone to wander and did without me realizing it. had enough mental energy to write! coherently. some thoughts were popping out of my mind, ideas, which often happens after it's been fallow for a bit. with this new energy of mind healing from whatever that was...

then winding down in the afternoon. to the point mind seems fuzzy again and i think maybe i should rest bc i don't want it to go back to how it was

[faineant-girl]

been having really weird joint aches the past few days and shit. fuckin. iooooo it hurts its weird

[nighty-night-nh]

BITING THROUGH CONK-CREET but I'm getting there

[jamiethebeeart]

Ha. Whoopsies. I put all my thoughts in the tags. See there.

Hehehehee I may have..... Made a little Spinner...

Currently lacking hair and clothes but eeeh that's tomorrow me's problem

[mirensiart]

do u think anyone would have a variable pain tolerance?

cause like I’m VERY pathetic if someone flicks me or pulls my hair I will cry cause it’s owie :(

but at the same time I have legit broken bones without noticing multiple times (both bones in my leg (picked up 11 months later during a mri), elbow (picked up cause it started to swell), wrist (picked up cause I fell on it again (that did hurt tho lol))

idk it could possibly work for anyone but tbh i think itd be especially funny if fours colours all had different pain tolerances or smth 😂

ok but anon, you’re so relatable for this! I also have high pain tolerance, but anything that has to do with teeth pain makes me go full on baby mode lmao like dentists….oh my GOD

also twins on the broken wrist thing lol 🤝🏻🤝🏻

Now, when it comes to this au…I think you have the biggest most galaxy brain ever cause four’s colors having different pain tolerances is hilarious and I love it and I want to make it canon to the au now lmao

like imagine if against all expectations it’s blue the one with the lowest pain tolerance while red has the highest lmao vio & green are somewhere in the middle

anyway this is great, I love it, thank you!

[keefessketchbook]

THUNDER SAGA pt. 2!!!

these last three are a doozy

Scylla 🍴

LITERALLY MY FAVORITE

love how Scylla gets in their heads

ALSO HAD NO IDEA IT WAS EURY WHO OPENED THE BAG LIKE WHAT

LOVE LOVE LOVE the call backs to other songs (full speed ahead, survive)

LOSING MY SHIT OVER THE INSTRUMENTALS AFTER SHE SAYS HELLO. LIKE WHAT??????? THEY'RE SO FUCKING GOOD

I adore scylla's growls and lyrics like ahhhh

The blended harmonies at the end are beautiful

saw somewhere that the danger motif didn't play cause ody was never in danger like ow

Mutiny 🕴

Eury's little angry rant in the beginning is cool also him bringing up the past when Ody was trying to greet the world with open arms, kinda feels like he's just burying the hatchet

ody's I can't hurts

love how ody calls eury brother trying to fix the bond (also references luck runs out, which this song does a lot)

The meoldies from "there is no price he won't pay" sounds like its from scylla and the line "I am not letting you get in my way~" is literally my fav

Love the callback to luck runs out with the melody

also the whole scene on apollo's island is great

like those lyrics are so good

ody saying "Please don't tell me you're about to do what I think you'll do" kills me

Escpically with Eury's line after

Their little duet is so cute and heartbreaking

ALSO EURY SAYING "IM JUST A MAN" IS JUST AUHGGUHGHGH

THUNDER BRINGER ⚡

This song is such a bop!! like Luke has such a rich voice

the whole second verse is just a big owie

how luke says Enlighten me, King of Ithaca scratches an itch my brain

the whole choose thing is so good. like their voices carry so much emotion

callback to the horse and the infant has me bawling/balling (iykyk)

also callback to suffering is so pretty

same with just a man

ok the whole exchange between Eury and Ody is the saddest part to me. like this guy has lost everything and the god is making him choose.

ALSO THE "i know" HAS ME LOSING MY SHIT. HE SOUNDS SO SMALL AND SAD LIKE POOKIE

the instrumentals at the end are to delicate for what just happened. also way too happy for how that ended

also tell me if im wrong, but i swear that there is some character motif/callback to another song in the ending instrumentals

Sorry if it was a little long. kinda loved this saga. esp since it was my first livestream, like the listening party so its special to me

Honestly can't wait for the wisdom saga, like god games, love in paradise, legendary are all going be so badass and good

[angie-long-legs-moved]

I'm sorry, too.

Of all the things Vox could have said in response, this was the last thing Angel had expected. Hell, it didn't even make the list, not even as a flight of fancy or a shot in the dark. He hadn't anticipated that Vox would respond to him at all, in all honesty. Or if he had, his prediction was for him to react in blind anger, as he was so prone to around Angel - as Angel was so prone to himself.

But for Vox to apologise? So quick Angel could convince himself he'd imagined it, but even so - for Vox to say he was sorry at all?

Angel exhaled, teeth gritted, uncomfortable. Disbelieving. This wasn't their dynamic, this wasn't the routine. The script had been thrown out the window, stamped on, torn to shreds. He shrank under the spotlight as it bathed him in cold, harsh truth; as he was asked with piercing, pleading sincerity if he really loved Val.

Angel conceded: Vox apologising was not the very last thing he had expected to hear. This inquiry ranked far below.

Yes, he might have said, some time ago. It wasn't a fairytale love, of course, not even a whirlwind romance so much as a fervid fever dream that made less and less sense to Angel the longer it persisted. Valentino was all sharp edges, even at his sweetest: all professions of love had been lined with barbs and bristles, always hungry, always wanting. The moth was a flame: all-consuming, blinding bright and beautiful. To be around him was to feel like seeing in full colour for the first time, to feel the warmth of pure desire, hot-blooded passion that was unlike any affection Angel had ever been the subject of. But a step too close and he was burning, engulfed in the shameful, heart-wrenching hatred that the Overlord spat like sparks.

Vox knew that fire too.

No, Angel might have said, not long after the flames became more inclined to swallow him than warm his blood. The fleeting moments of softness, those times where Val decided Angel was deserving of fond humour or gentle touch - they were few and far between, and these days they caused Angel more heartache and confusion than they did anything real or comforting. He might have vehemently denied that he had ever felt anything for the Overlord, even insisted he hated him.

He had tried so hard to hate him.

"My favourite memory of Val... is the first time he, uh. Took me home," Angel finally broke the strained silence, immediately cringing at how ridiculous it felt to talk about sleeping with Val to the mans' long-term partner who hated him. "Not cuz a' the sex. I mean, uh. That too." Fuck, why had he chosen this memory? He swallowed, resting his head on his knees as he gazed straight ahead and continued.

"I was workin' fa this asshole, real slimy creep of a guy, but he owned this seedy strip joint just outside a' the Doomsday District, so I was just happy ta spend half my hours dancin' rather than workin' street corners. And I was good at it, too. Makin' good money, makin' a name fa myself, attractin' new clientèle... that's when Val starts showin' up. Suddenly I had this.. admirer who tipped like a motherfucker, bought dances with all the bells and whistles... My boss was practically droolin' over him, couldn't believe he had an up-and-comin' Overlord as a regular. Bastard was too dumb ta realise Val was just tryin' ta poach me out from under him.

"And when he finally paid fa the works, ya know, the whole night... he's like, this perfect fuckin' gentleman. Picked me up in a goddamn limo, took me out fa dinner ta this real classy restaurant - fuck, Vox, I never felt so outta place in all my life. I was gettin' picked up on the street literally the night before, now some big shot Overlord was takin' me to his fuckin' Penthouse. It felt like somethin' out of a movie.

"And the sex was... I mean, I'll spare ya the details, don't want ya ta blow a fuckin' fuse in the state yer in... but it didn't feel like I was workin'. He, uh. Took care a' me. Like I was more than just some cheap trick, ya know? Made me feel... worth somethin'. Like I mattered ta him."

For a moment, Angel allowed the silence to creep back in, his words hanging in the air like an echo.

"But, uh, none of that is my favourite memory," he continued, sheepish but with stubborn resolve. "The best part was after. He was so fuckin' sweet, Vox. Never slept with a guy that wanted anythin' ta do with me after we're done fuckin', and here this guy is, gettin' me warm towels and helpin' me clean up, offerin' me somethin' ta eat, ta drink... Even insisted I stayed over. He... told me I was good. Kept sayin' it, too. Said it like it meant somethin'."

Hugging his knees tighter, Angel shut his eyes. "But the best part... the part I always think about..."

He took a deep breath.

"We were goin' ta sleep and... fuck, it's so dumb, but he leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. Not fa any reason or nothin', just... because. He was smilin', and it was... nice. And sometimes he's still nice, ya know. Looks after me in some kinda way. But... he's never done that again. The kiss, I mean."

The sigh that escapes the spider is almost a laugh, a mockery of his own sordid circumstances, his irrational attachment to such a trivial gesture. "Always find myself thinkin' about it," he smiled grimly. "About why he did it. Why he never did it again. Hah, maybe it don't mean nothing. That'd hurt the most."

"I don't, though. Love him," Angel heaved the words out of him as though they had been weighing him down for decades. Perhaps they had. "I thought I did. Still think I mighta, once. Maybe. Before he... before this." He gestured vaguely to himself, to the pitiful scenario he and Vox had found themselves ensnared in.

"I dunno what it's supposed ta feel like." This admission had his voice down to a whisper, cracked and splintered as the face of the man sat beside him.

Finally, he braved the task of actually looking up at the Media Demon, returning his own question.

"What's your favourite memory of him?"

Usually, Vox's powers were something Angel could very well avoid, should he need to. Living with the Vees, he had learned what to look out for, what small mannerisms or sharp remarks might indicate that the Overlord was on the verge of invoking his mind control abilities. It wasn't something he commonly used on Angel - Vox barely paid him enough mind to warrant using such a tactic on him, but under specific circumstances, he had been known to use his influence.

Angel knew when to look away, to shut his eyes so as to not get caught in the thrall of his televisual hypnosis. He knew the signs to look out for. But now? The media demon's surge of anger had caught him entirely off guard, as did the split second of limp, mind-numbing catatonia that captured him. It was only for a moment that he was held in that listless, submissive prison, before he experienced a rude awakening in the form of a sob.

He lurched back into full conciousness with dizzying force. Did Vox just... was he crying? He had to still be in the trance. There was no way he was seriously watching the esteemed Media Overlord, leader of the Vees-

Vox choked and gasped, face in his hands.

All Angel could do was watch.

Vox's words held no power, not a fraction of his usual command. He was by no means the tallest demon in Hell, positively dwarfed by Valentino's looming stature, and even the lowly porn star himself stood a head and shoulders above him. But his presence was all encompassing, the omnipotent force of media manipulation - he lived in every screen, every electrical current that pulsed through the Pentagram, every placid, passive admission of trust that he pulled from his captive audience.

Yet, here, in this moment, hunched in on himself on the floor of his Penthouse, breath crackling with static and rasping sobs, tears throwing threads of light to the lines of damage that laced his screen...

The Overlord had never looked so small.

Every lingering hint of satisfaction that still toyed with Angel was zapped from existence. This was nothing like justice. This wasn't what he wanted, what he expected. This was... This was...

This was him.

Vox never cries. Valentino's disdainful taunt echoed through his mind, a remark often thrown at Angel when his emotions ran riot after one of Val's outbursts.

Vox can take it. Vox doesn't act like a bitch. Vox doesn't whine or beg or pull any of this pathetic bullshit. Vox never cries.

A stark contradiction to the sight Angel was witnessing.

He felt himself shrink in shame as the matter of the shirt came up. Fuck, Angel felt low. Scummy and rotten, the sleazy homewrecker that took so much pride in every crumb of approval that the man they shared tossed his way, that delighted in the sporadic occurances in which Val would choose him. Where Vox would be tossed to the side like yesterday's news. Like one of Val's broken toys.

Like Angel.

The spider took a deep breath, staring directly forward. It was bad enough he was feeling sympathy for the Overlord without having to look at his cracked, crying screen. Why couldn't he just hate him? Why couldn't it be that simple?

Vox loved Val. And Angel... well, whatever he felt for Val was twisted with contempt and terror and shame, but perhaps it had been love, once. A long time ago. He had been so sure it was love that he would have done anything for him. He had done anything for him. He still did.

He did everything for him.

"I... I get it, ya know," Angel spoke quietly, breaking the thick silence that had enveloped them. Fuck, he wished he was wearing something else.

"I mean... I don't. I've never... well, I've never known him like that." Angel paused, the air around him heavy and thrumming with tension.

"But I know him like this."

Was it a comfort to Vox, to know he wasn't alone? He'd made it crystal clear that he detested being compared to the porn star, that he loathed the idea that they shared any semblance of similarity. But it was lonely here at the bottom, Angel knew that. It made for unlikely company. Maybe he could work with that.

"It's... it's like, no matter what ya do, no matter what ya say, ya know what's comin'," he breathed steadily, his voice flat and defeated. "And just gotta... get through it, let him do it so he'll leave ya alone. And then there's the waitin'. For him to come round, treat ya right again. And when he does, it's... it's perfect. Better than perfect. Makes it all seem worth it, sorta. Sometimes. 'Til it happens again."

Angel hugged his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them.

"For what it's worth... I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't ask for this. I wanted him to... want me, but not like this. This ain't what I thought I was gettin' into."

"I never wanted this."

[smgsyndicate]

Little!Swiss - CG!Aether & CG!Cirrus

TL;DR Swiss having a bad pain day and his body doesn't wanna work with him. Refuses to take care of himself, so his pack does it for him :) (Completely self indulgent)

Swiss curses, kicking the ground out of frustration. A strangled whine of pain leaving him despite his best efforts to keep it down. Aether perks up from his spot on the couch, glancing in mild concern at Swiss who was in the kitchen. “Swiss? You alright?” The multi ghoul quickly tries to regain his composure. “Ah- yeah! I'm alright Aeth. Just ,,, stubbed my toe.” He adds a laugh at the end, hoping to sound more convincing.

Aether doesn't seem to fully buy it but shrugs it off as weird Swiss behaviour, going back to scrolling on his phone idly. The multi lets out a quiet relieved sigh, moving to go to his room. A sharp yelp of surprise leaves him when he goes to step but his knee bends backwards instead of staying straight. He barely catches himself, bracing against the counter for a moment, repeatedly applying and removing pressure on his knee to make sure it won't fold under his weight again.

The quintessence ghoul in the living room shuts off his phone and stuffs it in his pocket before making his way to the kitchen. Upon seeing the slightly shorter ghoul hissing under his breath and testing his leg, he sighs in sympathy. “Where are your braces?” Swiss' head snaps up, a growl leaving him. “I don't need them! Just . Give me a minute!” He says with aggravation, standing up straight with a glare.

Aether glares half-heartedly back, very prepared to deal with a stubborn ghoul. “You're in pain. If you don't let me grab the braces, I'm going to go fetch Cirrus. You don't want that, do you?” The defiant expression Swiss’ face wavers, but he steels himself. “You wouldn't! I'm fine, see?” He takes a step. To his credit, his legs seem to hold steady. .. against his credit, he winces as a bolt of pain zips up his right leg unwarranted.

The taller ghoul just sighs, taking out his phone and sending a quick text to Cirrus. The multi ghoul’s eyes widen and he tries to snatch the phone from Aether. “No!” He tries, pleading desperately. “Yes. Aaaand there. Sent.” The rhythm guitarist says with just a bit too much amusement in his tone.

Swiss deflates slightly, a loud whiny tone leaving him. “Noooo….” Aether smiles, seeing the signs of him slipping into a regressed headspace. “Awe, come here little one.” He says in a soothing tone, holding his arms open for a hug. Swiss looks torn between going to the comfort or pouting instead. Eventually, the sound of a hug is too alluring and he takes a step before falling into the bigger ghoul’s arms.

“There you go bambi. Let me and Cirrus care for you.” The multi ghoul lets out an upset whine. “No.. m s’posed to be big ‘n protect eve’yone. Can't do that if ‘m not big..” Aether just shushes him gently, swaying side to side to try and calm the upset ghoul in his arms. “We're alright. Let's focus on you for once, okay little dove?”

Cirrus enters the room before Swiss can respond. Despite his hesitation to letting himself slip, something in his brain still registers her as his caregiver. He perks up, a happy chirp leaving his mouth. “Mama!” He wiggles out of Aether’s arms, aiming to launch into Cirrus’ arms. He pauses, a look of confliction on his face when he sees she's carrying a few things. Knee braces with rotation locks, wrist brace with extra support, and something else he couldn't see well.

“No.” Swiss pouts, already upset. “Oh, come on little one. You know they're good for you and important. Don't want the owies getting to you!” The air ghoullette says softly, a baby talking tome slowly creeping into her voice. The multi crosses his arms and glares, hating how his body refuses to work with him. “Don't need! M fine. An’ it still hurts even with the thingies! Don’ make me… p’ease..”

Cirrus let's out a soft sound of sympathy. “I'm so sorry, my baby. But you know it has to happen.” She nods to Aether who gently holds Swiss so Cirrus can put the braces on. He whines, trying to wiggle out of the quint’s grasp. The ghoullette crouches, starting to secure the knee supports. When Swiss tries to gently kick her away, she stands up and makes him look her in the eye.

“Baby, kicking isn't nice. If you don't behave, I'll have to take away a bit of TV time.” She would never cut off all his entertainment, but even the threat of 5 minutes less TV was enough for the multi ghoul to relax and let her do what she had to. Aether coo's and gently praises Swiss for being so brave as they get him all set up.

Cirrus makes a gentle sound to get his attention after all the supports are secured. Swiss has slight tears in his eyes, the slight pain mixed with stubborness finally affecting him. The air ghoullette’s eyes soften with pity. “Look what I've got, little lune.” She shows off soft black gloves with little kitty paw pads on the hands. She slips them on over his hands, the larger size of the gloves able to fit over the braces.

His eyes light up a bit, hesitantly clapping his hands. The giggle and happy trill leaving him was relieving to the two caregivers, happy to see that he's returning back to the happy little one they know he can be. He bounces in place slightly, pouting when his movement is slightly restricted at his knees. “Alright little one, let's get you some TV time. Do you want to play with blocks too?”

Swiss pouts and shakes his head, taking Cirrus' hand and half stumbling, half walking to the living room. “Noooo. M wanna play wif uh.. da cars!” Aether smiles, watching them go to sit on the couch. Cirrus gets comfortable before beckoning for the multi to sit on her lap. He's a little heavy, but it's nothing she can't handle. Aether starts to grab a few snacks for them while the TV plays.

“Okay little dove, what do you want to wa-” “Paw Patrol!!!” Cirrus giggles as the excited little one on her lap. “P.. p’ease? Now! Want now! P’ease!” She smiles, turning the show on. “Of course! What a polite little baby, using his words so nice.” Swiss chirps happily, wrapping his arms around her neck and burying his face in her collar. He shifts so he can see the TV but is still happily snuggled against her. “‘Fank ‘ou mama.” “Of course, little lune. Anything for my little one.”

[faeriemarie]

RESISTING THE URGE TO SCRIPT IS SO PAINFUL LIKE MY BRAIN AND BODY HURTS OWIE 😭😭😭

[rorytunes]

Achievements for today:

- Began watching X-Files finally (mostly because of X-Files mutual (you know who you are) and partly because that big character quiz once told me I was closest in personality to Fox Mulder and I had no idea what it meant. Will update with whether or not I'm happy about it)

- Finally listened to Blonde by Frank Ocean in full. Amazed that it took me so long. Absolutely spectacular album if you haven't heard it before

- Picked up guitar after a few days' break on account of my brain hurting and my eye as well apparently. Owie

- Breathed a sigh of relief and smiled a full facial smile when I remembered I never really have to see anyone I went to school with ever again unless I want to (I do not)

- Made the resolute decision to, tomorrow, finally dye my hair and free myself from the previously inescapable and lifelong horrors of being ginger

[petrichor-reminiscence]

my restoration thots

everything is gonna be under the cut just incase people havent seen it yet, so uh spoiler warning under the cut!

there were a lot of things that bothered me. enough that tbh i don't remember them all, but i wanna start this off with the positives and things i liked ^^

first of all, my favourite thing ever, TEX AND CHURCH FINALLY GOT THE ENDING THEY DESERVED! i actually screamed when caboose brought back tex instead of church actually, and the whole thing also about her being brought back in their memory instead of the directors? their memory of her always kicking their ass and winning and being strong and brave and oaisjdgoasg all of that? screaming actually screaming. and her and church walking away in the memory unit thingy into the distance and jsiogjasdgiojadsgiosdg they got their happy ending that i've always wanted for them and that makes me very happy.

also, the va for caboose, let's talk about him rq. ofc it sounded wrong to me, he wasn't the og caboose, it wasn't joel, but the guy tried his best and i absolutely love that for him. i think he did a pretty good job, especially since the poor guy had 17 fuckin seasons of iconic caboose to live up to so ofc no one is going to actually live up to that. he did pretty damn good and if i see any hate about him i will cry thank you.

now, onto things that i enjoyed kinda but also were just oaijdsgioasdjg ahhhh y'know?

first, sarge's death. ouch. owie ouch ouchies ow. that shit hurt man. i think they did it pretty well though, and the fact that he died protecting a blue?! gave simmons his shotgun and told him he was proud of him?! told grif he never gave up on him even when grif himself had?! oasjdgisadjgs. he's their dad, their dad fr. it broke my fucking heart, but i like how it was handled, i was decently satisfied with it. i like how they buried him back in blood gulch, where it all started. it felt really fitting.

also, the fact that they kept church dead. tbh i'm glad they did. i was thinking with their whole talking about memories around the campfire, like if it were to bring back church, tbh i wouldn't have liked it. his death in 13 wouldn't have been as meaningful, as impactful. plus, them bringing back tex who we haven't really seen since season 10? iconic i loved it they brought my wife back and i loved every fuckin second of it.

next, something i have big big big thoughts on that i don't know how to organise: wash's ptsd and everything. first off, finding out he'd been hallucinating doc the entire time?! fucking OWCHIES :( and like at the end when lina was talking to him and reminding him that these things weren't his fault and how it came across in visions of his other beloved freelancers showing up and talking to him? screaming actually. watching wash and his mental state and how everything unfolded hit particularly close to home for me, as a ptsd-havin bitch myself ^^; the way he was treated like he was fuckin crazy in the hospital made me sick to my stomach, and then finding out oh hey wait he actually is a bit crazy he's hallucinating doc because he blames himself for his death i'm like welp okay that's oaisdjgosadjgoisgj. just seeing how they handled that reminded me so much of things i've gone through myself, and idk if i'd say it was handled well or not but it was certainly handled in a way that's for sure ^^; might just be some of my internal biases because topics like this make me feel sick for personal reasons ofc, but uh yeehaw lol yeehaw.

also, meta tucker. screaming. the flashes of him pulling through while being controlled and him like apologizing to caboose and caboose being like 'i've already forgiven you for whatever you'll do' AOIGSDAIG YEOWZERS :( my brain hurts man. and with sigma too, sadly it wasn't elijah wood, but miles luna did a phenomenal job imo, it really sounded like og sigma to me and had me convinced they got elijah for the final season up until i saw the credits lol. also, the fact that there was such a lack of meta/tucker and wash interactions??? heresy. blasphemy. illegal. i will be beating my head against the wall thank you.

ALSO. LACK OF DONUT WAS FUCKING TRAGIC. but, ADMIRAL donut? proud of our boy for working through the ranks! but i'm so upset we didn't get to see him other than a simmons flashback/vision of him in a fuckin cheerleader outfit - which honestly? iconic. at least we got something.

and the last thought of the post, fuckin grimmons. grif and simmons. i'm gonna put my head through the wall osaidjgsioadjgsdiogjsdag. the way that the first thing simmons did as red team leader was set grif free because he's always known about how much he wanted to leave, 'if you love something let it go' or whatever oiasdgjdsoiagjsd. grif deciding to stay for the fight before heading out, their goodbyes and grif inviting him to visit even though he knows it's probably never going to happen but he had to try anyways, aiojsdgoisjgoisdjg i'm screaming crying throwing up actually. they should've made out though so rip for that missed opportunity :( i enjoyed the moments we got but i also wish we got more if that makes sense, y'know?

anyways that's all i have the mental energy to blab about for now, because oaisdgjodsiag agh y'know? drained from fuckin sobbing so much all day lmao i'm just a lil guy ^^;

might post a pt 2 to this though, copy-pasting the notes i took on my phone like while i was watching lmao. fair warning though it's a MESS because i was typing without looking plus a lot of autocorrect haha. i'll probably post it anyways though because i find it really funny tbh lol