#my brain doesnt have many ideas
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There is never enough of these two
Though I won't lie I do need to get more creative SDRFTYG- then again it never hurts to be simple
#I got major deja vu drawing this#I mean I have drawn these two like this a lot#my brain doesnt have many ideas#just rot#trafficlights#srs x nsh#srs#nsh#seven red suns#no significant harassment#toxart#rw#rain world#emergence#rain world au#iterator#also playing around with new designs for Emergence~
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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What if Nimh was a toxic mom
#swapdreamtale#swapdream#ac rambles#nimh means venomous or something related to that in an old language#this idea was from either owl-bones or byrdblood idk#nimh#nim#anyways#heard of mommy issues#lets make the sd boys have LOTS of them 💅💅#pov: blue ari zu and keegan's writings have been influenciating me a lot nowadays#just bc im not posting much it doesnt mean my brain juices arent working ;3#soooo many ideas help me
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so, been thinking would you want me to redesign the zonau for the rewrite project too?
botw alone barely has any info about them so i would take totk as a basis but move them closer to what we had in botw (mainly more nature based)
personally i dont like how perfect and sterile all about the totk zonau look, tho i dont want them to be "barbaric" as botws only description has it but still move them to something more .. natural, and perhaps make them more of an underground species, which would be a neat paralel to the shiekah who were all about the stars, and tho both cultures never truly met their tech does in a way and both reached to the part of the world most foreign to them (shiekah reaching into the earth despite them being more astrological, the zonau having reached to the heavens despite having come from below the ground; perhaps its bc of that that they found old remnants of the long forgotten past there in the depths, and reached to the folks above to warn them of ancient dangers- ... whoop im coming up with more ideas ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rewrites totk#i dont know if im chaning too much#i guess it doesnt matter anyway since this is all my brain farts and ultimately dont matter#but i want to make a cool alternative for the people that dont like canon totk#so .. i wanna make it enjoyable for as many as possible#also i have literally never any idea if my ideas are any good#maybe im a writing genuis but think of its a childs game#but maybe i think its a childs idea of writing and it actually is#brain why
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i'm seeing three times as many people bitching in the tag about the very idea that someone might not like this breed than i see people actually expressing unambiguous dislike for this breed
#the preemptive counter-bitchers are consistently orders of magnitude meaner and more uncharitable about it too#like i'm convinced at this point these people just have these counter-bitches ready to go on launch regardless of actual reception#it's starting to feel like they just fill out a generic “what moral failing can i accuse the potential idea of dislikers of” template#and post it as soon as the thing's out whether or not anyone actually complains much less the way they accuse people of#these people are getting to the point that even when it's about something i unambiguously *like* i still have to resist the urge#to comment “fr staff aren't gonna fuck you bro”#there's like 11 different posts all insisting that the only reason anyone could dislike the new breed is fatphobia#meanwhile i scrolled down the entire tag and found like 2. maybe 3 people that even mentioned it in the same post as disliking the breed#before anyone gets ideas i'm generally-neutral-to-appreciative of the attempt at moldbreaking on the breed#and am completely indifferent the weight of dragons. the only thing i care about is if the design is original and interesting#a vast majority of the dislike posts i've seen so far have been in the vein of “nah man this one's just not for me” or “too maggot”#or “i hoped for an eldritch horror”. and there's not that many of these dislike posts in general. especially compared to normal.#meanwhile the counter-bitching has all been like “YOU'RE ALL JUST GREEDY UNPLEASABLE ENTITLED WHINY BABY FATPHOBES DIE MAD”#it's like this every time and i feel like it takes less and less to get people going like this every time#it almost feels like they get angrier faster the *less* anyone actually complains in the first place#a behavior pattern i'm well versed in from experience with my mother#and they always seem to get angriest at the most mild polite complaint posters rather than any of the actually questionable ones#like they'll ignore someone spouting clear fatphobia to go fling bigotry accusations at someone who just said “eh i kinda hoped for scary”#they also consistently have a bad case of “fr players are a monolith who all ask for the same things”-brain#i don't know what it is that makes it so fr players are so insecure about liking anything that the possible existence of anyone who doesnt#makes them feel like they're being directly attacked#flight rising#i suspect it's downstream of a similar kind of “we know if we don't get what we want we lose our chance because the devs are fickle” thing#to the fundamental flaw that doomed the minecraft mob votes
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buck and eddie would be the most insane PTA moms ever, actually. because eddie loves his son and being a bitch and buck loves bossing people around with a clipboard and being involved.
#eddie would absolutely have beef with one of the moms over something stupid like the bake sale banner colors or something#and would convince buck to join the planning/organizing commitee and buck would be all okay!!!! yay that sounds so fun!! :)!!#and buck would end up taking it Very Seriously and whenever eddie tries to tell him ideas for the bake sale buck would get all ah ah ah#as a member of the committee i cannot consider new ideas without consulting the other committee member#eddie always complains that hes just brain storming and needs to bounce ideas off of buck and buck would just be all rules are rules eddie#so eddie has to present his ideas to the pta like all the other parents and buck doesnt ever appear to treat his ideas any differently so#eddie always catches his eye after hes done and winks at him and buck just glares back at him with red ears and ofc buck (usually) ends up#voting in favor of eddie and buck scolds him after meetings because “its inappropriate to flirt to try and get my favor eddie”#“i already have your favor buck. and when you have a clipboard its really hard not to flirt.”#also you know buck would be all over the micromanaging#like “hi jill you wrote down on the spreadsheet that you were going to make four dozen brownies#NOT four dozen chocolate chip cookies. now we have more chocolate chip cookies than we'll be able to sell and not enough brownies.“#and eddie would love getting involved like “yeah jill WAY too many cookies. now the sale is ruined and the kids will never get their trip.”#“eddie why dont you go set up your booth? you shouldve already done that by now...”#“right....”#like eddie would love arguing with the moms about like which activity is more suitable for earth day or whatever#they would literally love it so much#me thinks
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Sketches
#shuichi iguchi#shigaraki tomura#spinaraki#these were 2 unrelated sletches but then my brain starting brewing some thoughts#mainly an au where spinner is sent in as a spy (for???? not the heroes lmao) to get into Shigaraki's confidence which of course means#wink wonk bedroom activities ANYWAY spinner catches feelings and doesnt really want to inform on Shigaraki anymore and is feeling conflicted#about what he should do and shigaraki knows something is up with his maybe boyfriend but not what and just :))) angst and split loyalties#amd feeling torn in two directions#(i sya not heroes but the only group with enough prescence is the mla but thats not really their m.o. either so???? idk what group would#have the reach/influence to feel threatened by some upstart kid in the villain world and manipulate a member into taking this espionage job)#anyways ive got so many au ideas and not enough time to write a fic or 12 lmao#like the research + planning + plot points + writing + editing + energy to pull it off.... im tempted to dabble in it all again tbh#im a year behind the manga tho and still havent watched the last season so idk where characters have ended up#and id rather not write anything until i catch up (idk maybe horikoshi has revealed some fun/character specific info?)#here i am talking on + on in the tags. anywho if anyone wants to write a fic based on any of my posts feel free bc i probably never will
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i think the decision of who gets to medically transition probably should not be given to people who find trans bodies inherently disgusting and undesirable, personally
#crazy idea i know#suddenly remnered that fuckhead psychologist i went to for hrt approval#and one of the many many stupid ignorant and wildly presumptuous things he said to me#he was warning me of the ooo so scary effects of hrt (which last time i checked is not the expertise of a psychologist but ok)#and i was like yeah im well aware but also if it really does cause unmanageae health issues somehow#i can just stop. takimg the hrt#and he launched into a whole soiel about how that will leave me a half transitioned freak who is neither true man nor woman#seemingly the idea that i might actually prefer some effects of hrt over none and not find that fate worse than eternal full force dysphoria#having not even for a second occured to him#anyway the entire report i got back was so full of horseshit made up on the spot and so poorly communicated to me i nearly [redacted] myself#lolllll#luckily my mistrust paid off as i had a backup appointment still scheduled#its not paranoia if its right! wahoo!#and surprise surprise literally none of the super scary life ruining dangers that guy was going on ablut happened#not even a little bit#whst a crock of shit. i want that man to be held responsible for how totally dogshit he handled my case#but he never will be#i just gotta live with how this rando nearly indirectly killed me for the rest of my life#while he doesnt have to ever think of me again and if he does he'd probably think he handled it so well#having a lovely time with my brain today
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#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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amadeus is getting more deranged earlier than originally planned but im leaning into it because i'm having fun
as far as im concerned this just means i have to get even more deranged as it goes. continually escalate. in the middle of episode 3 if you hear a single piece of tonal music i'm not doing my job
#in my defense#if YOU just finished having 12 years of memories yeeted from your brain by a witch#and then find that you've been mega trolled. if that happened. would you be entirely sane#probably not#and would your mental state not warrant a deranged track to convey it#well. i would think so#i say im writing umineko 2 and in SO many ways i rly am but the difference between amadeus and umineko#is i am physically incapable of the masterfully pAINFULLY slooooowwwww buildup in episode 1#so i think the pacing is going to be more like. well. yeah i mean idk he's completely unwell.#enjoy!#also further in my defense i wrote a whole devlog several months ago about how this game is inspired by sonic adventure#you dont write a game inspired by sonic adventure that doesnt hit the ground running#my main goal is just for you to be running and have no earthly idea where you're going#and if it helps neither does amadeus <3
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got the best ending im now satisfied with this patch, now just waiting for 3.8 /j
#caluutalks#I played this hangout IN CLASS and still slayed the class god bless#I will get his other endings when i get home#I have so many thoughts alr so i might doodle them heheheh#also the parallel between kaveh's parents hanging out with people and 4ggravate#im so normal abt that just so yk..... very VERY normal#now with me saying that im dooding this hangout..... *eyes at my 3 other art ideas*#it doesnt sound like a lot but like#its gonna expand the further i am in my school semester#because I have responsibilities#school is fun until your hobbies are getting less of the time of day#but tbf mainly my brain is just. hkv. no other thoughts#okok i'll stop now cya when i get all endings this evening
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i’m never actually going to talk to my professor about it but can’t she just read my mind and realize i have like the worst case of time blindness in history PLEASE ToT
#i wouldn’t even know how to explain this to someone like i can;t describe something that just isnt there and my sense of time just simply#doesnt exist at all man#i just live in a void and things happen and then suddenly im in deep shit im sorry this literally cannot be fixed#okay okay okayi went insane for a minute im calm now#ouough#in a class where you have to check in regularly and show what you’re doing and i just realized i only was there ONCE#i thought i had SO MANY more weeks omg im sosrry ifdjidjifhfidfh#i thought i had so much more time apparently i have only one more im going to explode#i had no fuckign idea i knew the dates and everything but my brain just dont work plllleeeeeaseeeee ToT#ggrhejehudhducdgucdgcud#throws up#pls pls pls pls#pls i have a disordar
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This a ramble about some thoughts I'm having while playing bg3. Please ignore if you want cause I'm only just now about to start act 2 on my first playthrough.
I wonder if due to the general rarity and more animalistic appearance of a dragonborn, if Ronan is a hard sell on the 'attraction' front for a lot of people. I can't imagine most people's first reaction to meeting a new lizard man is 'the pants are coming off', unless they are a very particular kind of person or have been around people of that race enough for the general wariness for the visual peculiarities to have worn off. Especially not in a crisis situation where if you really wanted to bone down, there's other more human options with skin and normal teeth and...lips.
Obviously, all the companions are video game bisexual and also seemingly devoid of personal aesthetic preferences in order to help facilitate you the player's personal role-playing fantasy adventure. Everyone is available no matter what race you pick in a game mechanic sense but thinking logically in a worldbuilding/narrative sense...
I understand Lae'zel wondering outloud to Ronan if she could 'ride him like the red dragons'; that makes sense for her and her...interests. She seems like a certified freak (affectionate). And I would get it if Gale had a dialogue option that implied or directly stated he'd wondered what it'd be like to be with a dragonborn because he seems like he's spent a lot of time reading weird porn inbetween simping for an actual goddess who probably can and did true polymorph herself into some fucked up shit for him. Their sex life had to be crazy if he's willing to turn himself into a thermonuclear device to try and get it back is all I'm saying ANYWAYS
But since I'm romancing him this playthrough, I have to imagine for someone like Astarion, that it had to take some personal pep talk before putting on the fawning voice and asking Ronan to sleep with him. And even more psyching himself up because in my game, it took two additional long rests after that conversation to actually get to the awkward sex scene. He had to really think about that one, literally had to sleep on it TWICE to make sure he's got his head in the right place to find out what dragonborn dick is about.
Not that hes disgusted, just... put off by the prospect on how he's going to sell this whole charming, super into the dragonborn shtick when he's just not all that much. I just cannot imagine, even outside of the manipulation game he's playing with the PC, Astarion sitting there, being like 'you know who I'd like to get rowdy with now that my body is my own again? Out of everyone at this camp? Thats right. The Lizard.'
I'm only just now about to start act 2, so I could be super off base, but that's the headcanon I'm running with right now. Vampire didn't find much physically of the big dragonborn tantalizing before deciding sleeping with him was the best course of action. The idea that this would obviously change over the course of time is compelling to me.
#jacq writes#part of the idea is also he psyches himself up. assumes hes going to have a bad to mediocre time.#and then uh oh! he has a Really Good Time and maybe thats annoying#or at least bothersome on some level for a while#this whole idea is subject to change but it is initially funny and compelling to my brain#also ronan is aware hes getting bullshitted most of the time#he just a) has a crush b) craves physical intimacy and c) doesnt care#hes gunna make sure rogues have a good time regardless because he would like the intimacy to continue#okay im done for niw#i have many thoughts#all of them are probably bad#bg3
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and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
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[Image description: a digital drawing of Thomas from Transatlantic holding Varian's hand and kissing his fingers while crying. We only see Thomas's face and their two hands covered in dripping blood. Behind them are black shards with designery red eyes on them. The pieces is coloured in desaturated blues with red accents. End description.]
We all have blood on our hands.
#transatlantic#lovefry#varian fry#thomas lovegrove#so uhhhh yeah if anyone remembers me saying i was sketching some ideas to do w how they met this is one of them#i started getting too many ideas in the middle of it so i kind of lost the original vision but thats ok bcs experimentation baby#basically the first idea was to have knives in the bg but then i was like glass shards bcs of the beer glass that was probably shattered#and bcs its less complex than a knife while still signifying violence (wanted simpler elements in this bad boy)#and then the eyes are all the people who just watched and the red signifies the underlying violence of being a silent observer#in these kinds of situations#and then i got distracted w thomas's suit lol bcs i accidentally did stripes and i was like omg criminal symbolism#and then i was like ok what if they werent normal stripes (bcs that strict angularity is more a part of varian's symbolism)#but instead were more scale-like bcs thomas is resilient but his throat is open bcs a part of his resilience is a lack of fear#of vulnerability#see what i mean by got distracted lol#it doesnt belong in this piece bcs it almost creates a second accent colour when red is meant to be the only one#but id love to do something w it in a different piece#thanks for coming to my ted talk it has to be in here bcs ill see this in 6 months having forgotten everything#and i hope u enjoy the drawing bcs if i cant be completely happy w it (artist disease) at least someone else might enjoy it#artist brain insists i shouldnt share it but i must face the horrors in order to grow /hj
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i am reading "art and fear" and i want to peel the skin off my face its so. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#minnie post#this isnt negative by all means#its just hitting sooo close to home#but its rlly inspiring tbh .#ive been struggling w art for a bit#im a huge perfectionist and lately i cant work on a piece for long i have too many ideas or just . get bored of it#i have so much to say but idk how to say it!!!!#then i have all these other ideas that i want to do but idk when ill do them so therye just fantasies rn#this work is making me both extremely self aware and i dont like it but also#its making me feel normal and therefore motivated to just Do stuff#cuz who cares#if i died tomorrow and left my current work behind and that was it#i would be so upset#it doesnt feel like !! authentic enough to me#but also AUAGFUIASIFUGASIUASF#art weird#i want to share more#im gonna share so much#no use keeping it hidden away in my brain for it to just die when i do
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