#my brain doesn't want to let this go

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

[deerest-deer]

thinking of them tonight </3

[kojoty]

wash: can't hang out today tucker, my ears are hearing static

tucker: what the hell are you talking about

wash: so usually it sounds like the rising and lowering tides of the ocean and that i can deal with and we can hang out but when its static its a no go and im surprised i can even have this conversation right now so uh yeah we can't do the training i promised

tucker: okay. so you're hearing static. like a tv. got it. that's fucking weird. how about i just throw on always sunny and you lay on the couch then?

wash, who usually just hides in his room and stares up at the ceiling trying and failing to push away memory blips that override him into alternate realities in his own brain scape as he tries to neatly reorganize his brain and ignore the static that epsilon introduced to his brain equation: what.

tucker: like you don't have to do anything, but also dude being alone sounds like a terrible idea right now if you have a tube tv in your noggin so lets just smoke up and watch tv

wash, who is about to learn about parallel play and lazy sunday afternoons at the tender age of 29: i love you

[tallochar]

I keep turning this concept in my head but I can't manage to write it satisfactorily so here I am, setting it out in the wild:

Tim Drake being alerted that Batman INC is something that is in the planning stages of it happening (maybe by Lucius, maybe by Tam, who even knows, look he was CEO for a while and someone is worried about Bruce Wayne about to go public with Batman INC and they get in touch with him) and going to Bruce and refusing to let him do this.

Because Bruce is needed in Gotham and Batman is needed in Gotham, and while Dick is doing a great job and no one will convince Tim of the contrary, that's not Dick's job. It's Bruce's.

(Who also has a son who just got his father back and if anyone knows what it would mean for a son who lost their father to get that father back when you know it's not going to happen... well lets say Tim has Opinions about this [and while he might not get along with Damian all that well yet, they are in that neutral state where Damian is like a cat observing things and studying dynamics and Tim has always been able to work with people he doesn't like or even trust much, so he's not going to punish the kid over whatever's went down between them.])

And besides, let's be real here Bruce, if you want a Batman that can go around the world and pull together teams and make them cohesive and knows what it's needed to be a successful team of young / upcoming young heroes, that's way more Dick than you yourself. Would be preferrable if he was allowed to do it as Nightwing, but the point still stands.

Just ... Tim pow-wowing with Bruce over the whole sitch and convicing him to back down. Not abandon the project, Tim knows that will not happen no matter what Tim does, but trusting it to Dick, who is way better with both younger people and people skills in general than Bruce.

(Which actually is not meant to separate Damian from Dick, Dick can come in from one assignment to the next and check on Damian and this is not the time it was when Tim was growing up, they have communications all over the globe now, Dick can phonecall and videocall Damian as many times as he wants and check on him as often as he wishes, but if Batman INC is happening, and it will happen because Bruce has decided it will, then Tim can only do damage control over this)

And possibly Bruce leveraging Tim staying in Gotham (which, joke's on Bruce, Tim was going to do that anyway, but sure he'll "concede") and possibly "asking" (ordering, let's be real here) Tim to help train Damian (which Tim isn't enthusiastic about but fine, he'll make it work as long as Bruce has his back), for multiple reasons.

A bit because Bruce sort of feels guilty that Tim was kicked out of the Robin role (Bruce HAD promised it would be Tim's until Tim decided otherwise, [which I don't think Dick knew about and even if he had, the situation still had been what it was, to be fair to Dick]) but also Bruce doesn't quite know what to do with Damian (and it wouldn't be the first time he's trusted Tim to teach young heroes / guide someone in a vigilante role) and also he both wants Tim to be there with him (he's missed him) and needs him there with himself (Tim the emotional regulation parentified wonder!).

And then shenanigans from there.

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

[moghedien]

i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

[gyokujyn]

CATWS 10th Anniversary | April 2nd » Prompts: "But I knew him." for @catws-anniversary

a loving homage to A Softer World and @asofteravenger

[angelsdean]

✨ok manifesting productive vibes for august✨

things i want to get done this month

2 (short) fics

2 art pieces

3 edits

manifesting productive vibes for everyone else too!! let's get stuff done!

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

[narsh-poptarts]

The sun will rise, I swear it...

What we have of act 3 got me feelin a certain way man o|<

[adelle-ein]

oh my goddd so long story short

it's not the jp version of cotc i got running in bluestacks. that's why it's running but why it didn't seem to be fully up to date. according to google it's in simplified chinese. i saw it had 6*s and was like Surely this is the jp version. because i thought all the other servers were around where en is. after doing some research i think it's the taiwan version?? (it's published by fulgurite)

you might go "lace how the hell did you take so long to notice this" i was not paying attention At All, i was using google translate auto detect here and there but letting the game mostly play itself while i tried to figure out other things, and i'm really, outrageously bad with languages. don't get me started on my hebrew. that being said i thought i could recognize different ones APPARENTLY NOT i'm a moron

so the GOOD NEWS is that i can find and pull stuff from and even play the taiwan version for now!!! that being said it is entirely possible it'll start blocking emulators too with any update (or this server will close....) but all i can do is charge very blindly forward

but yeah. going to poke gently at a few more ideas, will keep ripping where and when i can, but it's all gonna be a toss up frankly

(can anyone playing jp cotc confirm for me that the current version of the app is 3.13? thank youuuu that's the impression i'm getting from their twitter but i want to make sure i'm right)

[rockethorse]

The way the default "dirt" neighbourhood terrain is my hands-down favourite of all four in neighbourhood view and looks like unending Windows Maze Screensaver texture hell in lot view

[fangirlfortress]

Every second remain alive I become more and more convinced that you only way someone could ever stand a chance of successfully romancing me would be to pretend they have zero romantic feelings for me (or even better, genuinely only think of me platonically) and be my close friend for a minimum of two years, and THEN broach the subject of them liking me. Because that's the only way my brain will ever even consider putting this person into the category of romantic partner/possibility.

[whump-n-comfort]

when you read a fic that gives you a hyper-specific whump scenario that you know would either A.) take forever to find in another story or B.) hasn't been written at all so the obvious conclusion is that you have to write it yourself

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.

And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.