#my body is um in pain but i am doing okay :3 i am going to eat roast potatos in t minus 5 minutes so thats good

[obsob]

a house that is warm and full of love :3

[javiscigarette]

Emergency Contact

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Summary: Frankie gets in trouble and this is the last time you're helping him. At least that's what you tell yourself.

Warnings: angst, smut, post break up, mentions of drug/alchol use/abuse, military ptsd, frankie on a downward spiral and needs to get his shit together, emotional smut because I had to, fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, frankie is literally this emoji -> 🥺 the whole time

w/c: 6.8K

a/n: part of @iamasaddie writing challenge 2.0!!! I picked puppy eyes brown and my genre was angst with the prompt: "Tell me how to fix this." And guys listen. I literally never write angst I’m such a softy but I tried my best with this okay! and I obviously had to include some smut I just couldn't resist hehehe. Also thank u to my baby love @undrthelights for finding theses pics and for everything else you do :) enjoy!

my masterlist

You should scream at him, yell at him. Tell him to get the fuck out, fight him tooth and nail to prevent him from worming his way back into your heart, to avoid anymore pain.  But then he’s against you, his chest flush against your back, legs tangling together under the blankets. He slips an arm around your waist, the other underneath you, pulling you against him tighter as he nuzzles into your neck, burying his face into your hair and takes a deep breath. “Just one more night" he whispers. "Please. Just let me have one more night."

The vibrations of your phone buzzing on your nightstand pulls you from a deep slumber, your heart is already pounding at the sudden noise, the rest of your body slow and sluggish as you try to gain your bearings. 

You paw for your phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen when you find it. A call from a number you don't recognize. You debate letting it go to voicemail but the area code is local and that makes you pick up, a raspy Hello? leaving your mouth as you roll over in bed, glancing at the clock. 

2:13 am.

The sound of your name crackles down the line, the immediately recognizable voice causing your heart to plummet to your ass.  

"Frankie?" You ask, sleep quickly leaving you as tension takes its place.

"...Yeah, sorry, I…I didn't know who else to call." His voice is frail and pinched.

You don't have to ask him what's wrong, your brain already piecing the puzzle together You've been in this exact position before. The anger is already starting to creep in, your brow furrowed and stomach twisting as a familiar rage blooms in your chest.

"You couldn't have called anyone else?"

You know the answer is no. The rest of the boys are on a mission, leaving him behind after he failed on his promise to stay clean for long enough to get cleared to go. And now, you’ve fallen victim to that decision too,being the only person left to call whenever he finds himself without a leg to stand on. Frankie in trouble, you bailing him out. Just like normal. 

"I'm sorry I didn't want to bother you I just..." he takes a deep breath and sighs. "I'm at the station on Oak street. Can you maybe... pick me up?"

You close your eyes and take a moment to compose yourself and reign in the anger at the way he's gotten under your skin already.

"What did you do this time, Frankie?"

He's quiet for a second before he finally says, "DUI. And um, slightly resisting arrest? It’s uh, it’s my first one and I didn’t blow too high so they’re letting me go as long as I show up for court in a few days."

His voice is soft but you can hear him fighting back emotion, his voice cracking and straining under the pressure. the sound eliciting sympathy you desperately wish you didn't feel.

"Jesus, Frankie," you sigh, defeated already.

It shouldn't even faze you at this point. It should be expected given the path he's fallen down since his return home from their last mission 3 months ago. The Frankie you knew before he left had been a steady force. Protective, headstrong but soft in his demeanor, so sweet and full of love. The man now standing in his shoes still holds some traits of that Frankie, but they've all been scarred and tainted with his fall from grace.

Memories of the nights spent tucked in his bed, his arms around you, his hands buried in your hair come flooding back like they usually do. The sound of his laugh, the feel of the downy hairs on his forearm pressed against your skin and the steady thrum of his pulse under his jaw as you placed kisses against his neck. The words you would speak softly to one another in the early hours of the morning, secrets only shared with each other under the protection of black velvet night sky. 

All of it traded for bitter resentment and anger towards a version of the man that was ripped away from you.

When he was gone, you’d sleep in his shirts and on his pillow, clinging to the faded scent of his cologne as your brain conjured up ghost touches from his fingertips. Dreaming of the day that he'd come home, how he might touch you, and kiss you, the taste of his lips and the feel of his skin on yours. A reunion so deeply desired that the day after he returned was a sharp double edged sword - a blessing, and a curse. The Frankie that walked back in your life was broken, smothered with the weight of the innocent lives on his hands. 

Warmth and tenderness traded for stony silence. Nights now spent at the bar, warming himself up with vodka instead of your embrace. Fights ending in harsh words and raised voices as he stubbornly dug his heels in deep, too ashamed to admit he needed help. Staying out late with no warning and coming back at dawn smelling of smoke, weed, and liquor. You are always wondering where he went, who he was with, if he was safe, or if he’d found someone else to soothe the pain. 

Then the coke. An old habit that was kicked to the curb in his earlier years now back with a vengeance. Your ultimatum quickly following.

This or you.

A choice you prayed he'd be strong enough to make, but was clearly not.

And now here you are. Two months since you walked away, trying to convince yourself it was for the best. The majority of the last two months of his life is a mystery to you, which you've accepted is probably for the better. 

"I know," he finally replies. "I'm so sorry baby, you know I..."

You can almost hear the way his jaw snaps shut, three words catching on his tongue. You don't need to ask to know what the next words are. Tonight was not the first time he's tried to use them in a vain attempt to patch up a crack in the foundation of your crumbling relationship.

There’s nothing but silence on the line as a war wages within you. Part of you wants to believe that he’s the selfish, careless man that he’s recently proven himself to be. But your heart whispers in your ear a softer notion. He's scared. Fragile. Battered. Embarrassed. Alone.

With a heavy sigh, you run your hand down your face in a feeble attempt to wipe away some of the grogginess clinging to you.

"I'll be there in 20," you say.

There's a pause before he speaks, "Really?"

Always an air of disbelief.

"Yes. But this is the last time I'm doing this Frankie, I mean it,"

"I know, I... thank you."

You don't bother to reply, simply hanging up the phone as the heaviness of this final gesture sets in. The gravity of the situation, of the line you're about to cross, already threatening to consume you.

This will, without a shadow of a doubt, be the last time you show up to save Frankie’s ass. 

At least that’s what you tell yourself. Just like you told yourself the last time this happened and the time before that. But this time will be different. You'll set new boundaries. That's it, just ride this storm one final time and be done.

You know it’s a lie, one you desperately want to believe it.

___

He’s standing outside the doors of the small station, a cigarette dangling between his fingers, wisps of smoke rising and dissipating in the still night air. He looks up as he hears the engine of your car approaching, the red glow of his cigarette temporarily highlighting the deep frown on his lips as he takes one last drag before he flicks the butt aside and heads your way.

The anxiety radiating off of him is tangible as he drops into the passenger's seat, gently shutting the door and peering at you with wide puppy dog eyes full of shame. You don't look at him, focusing on backing out of the parking spot before pulling onto the road.

He picks at the skin around his thumb and bounces his leg, his jaw tight. You wonder how long he’s been at the station. How long he’s been sober. You’re still not sure if he entirely is right now.

Most of the ride is silent save for the hum of your engine and the clicks of your turn signal. His eyes never leave you, he can feel him boring a hole in your profile, trying to catch your eye as you watch the road.

"What?" you finally snap.

"Nothing, just...I was wondering if I could stay with you tonight. I can sleep on the couch, I…I don’t really want to be alone right now" he speaks so softly it makes your stomach lurch.

"Absolutely not."

"Please? I'll leave early in the morning, by the time you wake up I'll be long gone."

The rage is back, glowing red hot in your chest, fingernails digging into the leather of the steering wheel, your knuckles white and tense. How fucking dare he ask. 

"Absolutely. Fucking. Not," your grit your teeth with each word, biting off the end of the sentence with a sharp finality.

"Right. Okay."

Silence takes over once again, your heart slamming against your chest, heat crawling up your neck as your cheeks grow red and damp. No. No. Absolutely fucking not. Absolutely not.

Frankie leans his head back against the headrest and rolls it to the side to watch you again. You can feel the disappointment radiating off him, hear him sniffling, his eyes, big and glassy, pleading when you glance over at him. 

It would be a lie to tell yourself that your “plan” isn't already halfway out the window as your jaw clenches and your gaze ping pongs between the road ahead and the man beside you. Deep in the darkness of your soul you know that with Frankie is where your comfort lies. It’s tucked in the space between his ribs, squished alongside his heart and lungs, running the length of his spine and settling between each vertebrae. You worry you may never be able to completely dislodge it, unsure if it would ever fit anywhere else in any other person.

Maybe it would be easier if Frankie didn't fill up the cracks in your heart with the fractured parts of his. If he didn't take up room in your brain that's not his to own, if he didn’t crawl under your skin and take root into your DNA. Now every cell in your body knows what it feels like to be next to him, now programmed to cry out for his presence when he isn’t near.

And it’s no different now. He’s here, looking so pathetic it’s almost laughable, staring at you with tears sliding down his cheeks that glisten in the glow of the headlights passing you by. Crying over something that’s entirely his fault. You should be the one crying right now. Not him. 

So you do. 

Hot angry tears spilling over your lash line. Though you can’t decide who you’re more upset with. The man who drank himself out of your life, or yourself for falling for him once again in spite of it all. Either way, it’s not enough to convince yourself to stay firm in your decision. 

Fucking pathetic. Both of you. 

“You’re out first thing in the morning and then I’m done Frankie. I fucking mean it this time, we can't keep doing this to each other."

“Okay. I promise baby, I will. First thing, I promise." He replies quietly. 

Your hand flinches with the urge to reach over and slap him for calling you baby. But instead, you clench your jaw and you shake your head at him.

"Don’t call me that, Frankie."

He quickly nods his head in understanding, his eyes again facing forward as he wipes away the wetness from his cheeks, watching the road the rest of the way to your house. 

—

Neither of you move once the car is parked in your driveway. The silence is heavy, cut only by the tick of the engine slowly cooling once you remove the keys from the ignition. You chance a look at him and find him picking at his thumb once more, his face red, his eyes soft and timid when they meet yours. 

“Tell me what happened, Frankie?” 

You ask even though you don’t really want to know. 

Frankie sucks in a breath and scrubs a hand down his face. 

"I got into a fight at the bar, got kicked out, made the dumb fucking decision to try and drive home and...now I'm here," he laughs mirthlessly as he waves his hands as a vague gesture to you, your house, his current situation. You can't tell if he's telling you the whole story, his answer simple and devoid of context. The context you’re sure wouldn't be good for you to know. 

“You could’ve killed someone, Frankie. yourself included,” you say after a few beats, your voice comes out sharp, frustration bleeding in each syllable.

He slowly nods as huffs out a breath.

"I know... it was stupid, and I was an idiot I...shit I was really careless and not thinking straight I’m sorry. I'm really sorry I-"

"I mean seriously Frankie,” you snap, cutting him off. “Do you ever, I mean ever, think about anyone but yourself? Or has it genuinely never crossed your mind that your shit might possibly affect the people around you?"

Frankie opens his mouth, eyebrows furrowed as he's about to respond. You don’t give him a chance to. 

"How many more times are you going to take advantage of me, make me look like a fucking dumbass always showing up to rescue you? Why am I always the one covering for you, taking your crap, cleaning up your messes, only to have you throw it right back in my fucking face, every single time!"

Your voice cracks at the end of your sentence, chest heaving with each word that flies from your mouth. Two months worth of bitterness bubbling up from deep down, spilling over and cascading down your face in the form of frustrated tears.

"When did you become so fucking selfish, Francisco?!"

Hearing his full name fall from your lips spurs Frankie on, the last of his shards of resolve flying away as his walls come down.

"I don't fucking know okay?! I don't fucking know!" You flinch at the rise in his voice and his tone stings. But it's how quickly he follows up with a softer, feeble excuse that adds fuel to the fire, "I'm doing the best I can."

That does it for you. Hot searing molten rage pulses under the skin of your face, the tips of your ears hot with blood.

"Doing the best you can? The best you fucking can, Frankie? Fucking bullshit! Getting into bar fights, spending all your money on booze and blow, losing your fucking pilot license because you were too coked up to see straight? Was losing your driver's license just putting your best foot forward? Throwing your whole life away just because you refuse to get clean? Is that really the best you can do?"

You pause and swallow, giving Frankie a second to take it all in, letting him process the onslaught of scalding truths you've thrown at him, before you quietly continue,

"I can't keep doing this, Frankie. I just can't."

He sniffs and shakes his head in what appears to be defeat, his gaze fixed on his hands folded in his lap. 

“I know...fuck. I know I’ve fucked up alright? I know that. I just don't know how to fix this," he admits quietly, his wide eyes watching you helplessly. “Tell me how. Tell me how I can fix this. Please."

You bark out a laugh, sarcastic and cynical.

"Are you serious right now? What do you mean you don’t know what to do? How many times did I help you try to find a therapist, try to get you into a program? How many times did I suggest AA? Don't fucking tell me you don't know what to do because you do."

He nods, shifting around in the seat, sniffling yet again as he looks back at you. "Okay, okay. I get it, okay? But what can I do right now? To fix this at least for tonight?"

You sigh, deep and heavy, your entire body now just exhausted. You half wish he would put up more of a fight, call you a bitch, snap back at you for going off on him. Maybe it’d make it easier for you to let him go. But instead, he looks at you with desperate eyes and you can feel your resolve crumbling once again. 

"Just forget it, Frankie.”

But he won’t give up that easily. The man is persistent, you’ll give him that. 

"I'm serious. Tell me what I need to do right now to fix this. What can I do to show you how sorry I am?"

You stare back at him, jaw clenched, biting back the next words you were about to speak. They die on the edge of your tongue. You know the answer is.

Not a single damn thing.

"Look, I'll try harder, I fucking promise alright?” His tone becomes more frantic as your silence stretches on. “I’ll fucking try harder, please just...please," Frankie pleads, more tears welling in his eyes.

Your throat is tight, your head spinning and aching as your blood roars in your ears. He's already taken enough, stealing more would simply be the end of you. Giving in now would mean you've swallowed the bait, falling hook line and sinker into his trap, stepping back onto the slippery slope you've fought so hard to escape. And for what? More heartache, more bullshit excuses, more fighting, more pain?

But one glance into his wide-eyed, watery gaze and you know he's got you. Again. Faster than you can tell your mind no, your heart, foolish and hopeful, speaks for you instead.

"Lets just get some sleep, okay? It's late. We can...we can figure it out tomorrow."

"Thank you," he whispers immediately, relief coming off of him in waves. "I really mean it, I-thank you, I promise I’ll—“

“Can we not talk anymore Frankie? I just wanna go to sleep."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, let’s go."

There's nothing left to say, washing over the two of you as you make your way inside. You give him a towel and dig up some of his old clothes that live in the back of your closet from when he was here almost every night. You're back in bed before he’s done with his shower, tucked underneath the covers with your face pressed against your pillow, the silk fabric soaking up your tears of sadness and frustration.

The water shuts off and you can hear him getting settled in the living room. A pillow being fluffed, the creak of the couch when he sits. 

And then soft footsteps on the hardwood 5 minutes later, padding their way into your room.

He doesn’t knock. He doesn’t bother speaking either. He just simply creaks open the door and walks over to the other side of the bed, peeling back the covers before slipping into bed beside you. 

You should scream at him, yell at him. Tell him to get the fuck out, fight him tooth and nail to prevent him from worming his way back into your heart, to avoid anymore pain. 

But then he’s against you, his chest flush against your back, legs tangling together under the blankets. He slips an arm around your waist, the other underneath you, pulling you against him tighter as he nuzzles into your neck, burying his face into your hair and takes a deep breath.

“Just one more night" he whispers. "Please. Just let me have one more night."

You don’t have any fight left in you. Because at the end of the day, a night spent wrapped up in his arms, inhaling his scent, touching his skin and his beating heart is worth a thousand fights. And a million shattered dreams.

You don’t answer him, but you don’t tell him to leave either. Instead, you block out any looming thoughts, the impending worry of where this could go, or how bad the damage will be. For now, you chose to focus on the rise and fall of Frankie's breath against your skin, the way you fit so perfectly into his arms. 

One more night.

Frankie presses a kiss into the back of your neck, repeating his previous sentiment in a rough scratchy whisper, "Just one more."

And you listen to it resonate, bouncing around the walls in your head and tickling the space behind your eardrums.

Inhale

Exhale.

You should want to fight.

But instead, your body melts his, molding your bones and flesh against his, fitting into all the creases and gaps that have been carved out and reserved just for you.Trying to forget, to bury this pain as deep as possible,. Just for tonight. 

He waits a few more minutes, waiting until your breathing levels out with his before he makes his next move. His fingers trace mindless patterns on the skin of your stomach, goosebumps erupting under his fingertips, rippling outwards like a rock being tossed in a pond. He leans in once more, slowly dragging his nose up the length of your neck and curling his lip to press another kiss behind your ear. Then another.

And then another, this time lingering as he sucks softly on your skin.

Inhale.

You close your eyes, hoping for anything but this, yet feeling the sting of arousal spark below your skin.

And exhale. 

You’re better than this. You won’t stoop down to his level, you won’t let him chew you up and spit you out again.

But fuck, his lips are soft and warm, so is the breath as he exhales against your neck, lightly swiping his tongue and soothing the faint red mark he left behind with a small little hum.

“Frankie..." You warn, albeit much more breathless and weak than you would have liked. 

“Tell me to stop and I will," he murmurs, his beard gently grazing your sensitive skin, causing your toes to curl.

You take another deep breath, but this one is shaky, as you can't help but tighten your grip around his hand, squeezing his fingers as you lean your neck to the side, exposing more of your soft skin to him.

Dead in his trap. Caught so fucking easily. Pathetic.

But if his teeth and lips and tongue and soft, gentle touches are how you go down, then so fucking be it.

He hums his appreciation against your skin, scraping his teeth down to your shoulder, latching his mouth on a spot and sucking harder. Strong, callused fingers continue exploring, fiddling with the hem of your shirt, waiting for you to give him permission.

He rolls his hips forward against your ass and you bite your lip to stifle the whimper at how hard he is against you, his soft grunts in your ear traveling straight between your legs and fanning the flames building.

Then suddenly, he's sliding his hand up your shirt, squeezing your waist and traipsing over your chest until he’s cradling the weight of your breast in his palm, his thumb slowly brushing over your peaked nipple, and it takes every ounce of willpower not to moan out loud.

A small gasp escapes you instead, your fingernails digging into the back of his hand. 

"Frankie."

This time not a warning. It’s a plea. A desperate, burning want that you should be ashamed of. 

He murmurs into the shell of your ear then, his tone is deep and scratchy. 

“I miss you...I need you, baby. Just tell me to stop if you want. But I... fuck I miss you so much."

You don't tell him to stop.

You roll your hips back instinctively, a warm wave of arousal washing over you at the feeling Frankie's hardened length pressed firmly against your ass. He grunts in satisfaction as his palm slides from your chest and up your throat to your jaw. His grip is gentle as he turns your head to face him, his lips against yours without missing a beat. 

It’s too easy to fall right back into him, back into the practiced, very well rehearsed routine. To let him glide his tongue along the seam of your lips and coax them open so he can lick into your mouth, getting the taste of his tongue stuck behind your teeth. Too easy to let him remind you just how easily you fit in the palm of his hand, how tightly you’re wound around his finger. 

He kisses you fervently, desperately almost, lips and tongue moving against yours as though he’s trying to devour you whole, just like he used to. He’s been starving for too long.But right now, he's finally found nourishment, the feeling of your body under his hands and the taste of you on his tongue feeding his soul. Wanting more. Always more, entirely unable to help himself.

“Wanna make you feel good,” he murmurs, his mouth half a centimeter away from yours. “Let me make you feel good baby, please.”

As if you could say no.

As if you even wanted to.

He pushes his leg between yours, thick, firm muscle under warm skin pressing against your clothed core and you answer him with a roll of your hips, seeking out any sort of friction you can. 

It takes less than half a second for him to have you flipped over on your back. When Frankie truly wants something, he does it quickly and efficiently.

He moves above you, licking and kissing a trail down your neck. He makes his way down your body, greedily nipping at the skin stretched over your collarbones. He swirls his tongue over each nipple, only moving on when he’s satisfied. He presses wet, open mouthed kisses to your ribs and your tummy just above your navel, his beard tickling skin, making it twitch under his mouth. 

Your body is cooperating far more than it should, your hips lifting up instinctually when he hooks his fingers into the elastic of your panties, your thighs automatically parting further, and your hands migrating to his head. Your fingers tangle in his soft curl, your nails softly scratching his scalp just like you know he likes. 

And when his tongue drags up your thigh you have to sink your teeth into your bottom lip to stop the reactive moan. But your back arches with pleasure anyway, the last bit of your resolve evaporating into thin air as you give into him freely.  

His hands burn hot where they smooth over your skin, a comforting weight and a familiar drag of calloused palms fueling the fire and tightening the coil in your stomach. 

“Missed you so much,” he whispers, his breath fanning over your pussy before you feel the first stroke of his flat tongue up through your center.

This time, you're not strong enough to hold back the breathless mewl that leaves your mouth. You immediately push down on his head while simultaneously canting your hips upward, needing more friction, dying for more of everything he's willing to offer. He slides his arms underneath you and hooks his hand over your hip bones, holding you down and keeping you in place as he tries to find salvation between your thighs.

Heavy breaths through his nose as he uses his mouth, lips and tongue working in tandem to take you apart. Lapping and sucking at your clit while his fingertips nudge at your entrance, dipping just enough to tease, waiting until he hears the high pitched whimpers that he's after.

And when you've reached that level of desperation he wants from you, whimpering and panting, he slowly dips a finger in.

He moans along with you as though he's the one experiencing the pleasure. He's always gotten off on this almost just as much as you. The warm, slick slide of his fingers in and out of you, how you gush on his tongue, your thighs trembling on either side of his head, the tingle of his scalp when you tug on his hair.

More addictive than any substance he's ever found solace in.

And against your better knowledge, you're more than happy to indulge him, let him chase the high you give him and let yourself drown in it as well.

Your back arches off the bed as he adds another finger, grunting into you and thrusting faster as you tighten and flutter around them. He finds the spot he's looking for with practiced ease, whimpering into you and groaning along with you as he drags his fingers back and forth along the spot that has you bucking your hips into his hand. 

He knows how to get you there. Knows how to do it fast. And right now, that's what he wants. He's craved it too long, spent far too many nights with his hand wrapped around his leaking cock your name on the tip of his tongue as he fucked up into his own hand. He wants to hear you fall apart again, feel you coming on his tongue, your walls clenching as they try to suck his fingers in deeper. Wantsto know that he hasn't ruined absolutely everything between the two of you.

"Come on baby, lemme feel you,” he urges, voice deep and rough as he brings you to the edge. His mouth, licking and sucking at your clit, works in perfect rhythm with his fingers, sliding in and out, crooking them at the exact angle and speed he knows will get you there. 

"Please, Frankie...need to– fuck, I'm..." Coherent words evade you as he works you towards your peak, your breath stuttering as you struggle to keep air in your lungs. Your grip tightens in his hair, tugging roughly in an effort to ground yourself as the wave of euphoria starts to crest, the undercurrent pulling you down. 

Frankie growls in approval as you tighten around his fingers, all your muscles tensing as the sensation crashes into you. Your mind and body shut off and float into that sweet state of oblivion as Frankie's name falls from your lips, mixed in with a litany of profanity and slurs and choked back moans. He doesn't stop, doesn't even slow down until you're yanking on his hair hard enough for it to hurt, trying to wiggle away from his touch.

Frankie raises his head up and locks eyes with you, the tip of his nose, beard, and cheeks shiny with your arousal as he looks up at you through his dark, heavy lidded lashes.

"Want you so bad," he sighs, breathless and needy, crawling up your body and resting his weight on his elbows on either side of your head. He kisses you again, soft and sweet as if he has the right, tasting yourself on his tongue. 

You whimper into the kiss and hook a leg over his hip to pull his hips towards you. His cock strains almost painfully in his boxers when he grinds it against you, your warm arousal dampening the front of the fabric.

"Gonna let me baby?" He rasps when he moves to your neck, his teeth scraping sensitive flesh.

You both already know he's won. You're not even putting up a fight at this point, any dignity you thought you had left totally abandoned the moment you picked up the phone. But he asks anyway, needing the verbal affirmation, needing the confirmation that you want him as badly as he needs you.

And you can't lie.You're both equally weak and vulnerable. Two pathetic, heartbroken creatures chasing a temporary relief. A small glimmer of something to make the pain more bearable, something to fill the hole for the briefest amount of time.

You both know. And neither of you care.

No response to his question. Instead, you push up the hem of his shirt up and he does the rest, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor before he hooks a thumb underneath the waistband of his boxers and tugs them down his hips and off his legs.

Your hand finds his cock and he hisses at the contact, his hips shuddering as he pushes forward into your grip. You swear he's thicker and longer than before, heavier and hotter where you hold him. Your thumb brushes over the tip, spreading the pearls of pre cum around, coating the rest of his length to ease your glide. Frankie's mouth finds your neck again, tongue and lips tasting and teasing, his shaky breath in your ear.

You try to push up onto your elbows in an effort to roll him over, wanting to take over. But a palm finds your chest, gently pushing you back down until your flat against the bed again. 

"Wanna look at you," he says simply, as he pushes his length into the palm of your hand once more before sliding out. 

He lets his length rest against your sensitive clit and gently rocks his hips, slicking himself with the mess between your legs, sighing whenever you gasp each time his tip nudges at your clit.

"Please..." you whisper, feeling pathetic and needy, but at this point too desperate to care.

And he’s equally impatient, not waiting another moment before lining himself up and slowly pushing in. 

You tense at the initial intrusion, not having been with anyone in far too long and the feeling is almost overwhelming. You're trying to remember how to breathe again as you let your head fall to the side, trying to hide from his intense stare. But Frankie's there, using a gentle finger to tilt your face back up towards him as his hips moving at an agonizingly slow pace to let you adjust.

"That's it baby. Look at me."

And you do, the heat in your belly burning brighter with his eyes boring into yours as he witnesses your surrender to him. Your heart aches, still raw and tender and in pain from all the hurt that's transpired. But you ignore it and tell yourself the tears in your eyes aren't a result of a broken heart, but rather of how full you feel as Frankie's length finally bottoms out in you.

"Fuck..." You both curse under your breath as he stills for a moment, letting you adjust before he starts to move his hips. You cling to his broad shoulders as he pulls out of you, his eyes glued to where you’re joined, his thick cock slick and shiny with your arousal before he slides back in again with a quiet groan. He repeats the motions over and over watching as he pulls out almost completely before pushing back in, stuffing you to the hilt.

"Shit,” he hisses under his breath, his eyelashes fluttering when you clench in response. “You feel so good baby, fuck."

He buries his face into your neck, panting and pressing soft kisses as his pace starts to speed up. The soft grunts in your ear turn into more desperate moans when you lock your legs around his waist, pulling him, trying to get him even deeper than he already is. 

Your fingernails dig into the skin of his shoulders, holding on for dear life, hoping that you’ll leave half crescent moon shapes embedded into his flesh. A painfull reminder for the morning that you were here and this was real, despite the circumstances.

His hands slide under your ass, angling it upwards to let him hit just that little bit deeper inside, pushing the air from your lungs with each thrust. The muscles in his forearms flex and strain as he tries to hold back, always making sure you finish before he does. 

And he doesn't have to wait much longer. Your orgasm is creeping up and taking over your body and Frankie can sense it. He knows exactly what to look for, knows all the signs.

One hand moves to reach between the two of you two fingertips pressed against your pulsing clit, drawing fast, tight circles just like you like it. Your grip on his shoulder tightens, your nails digging into the skin and dragging down his back as his thrusts become more erratic. 

"Keep lookin' at me," he grunts and you struggle to keep your eyes open. They sting, the image of him above you starting to blur around the edges as he drives you closer and closer to your release.

"That's it, baby. Lemme see it, lemme see you come on my cock."

He doesn't have to tell you twice.

You come undone again just like that, dizziness spreading and heart hammering in your chest as you sob out, pleasure consuming you from within. He fucks you through it, not giving you a chance to catch your breath, as he curses and rambles in your ear about how he's missed this, how he's missed you.

You've barely started to come down when he grabs one of your legs behind your knee and pushes it into your chest, letting himself sink even deeper into you. The new angle has your head spinning, drowning in an unparalleled amount of pleasure. Your eyes flutter and roll back in your head as you whimper his name, fingers curling into the pillow above your head.

He doesn't last much longer, breathless moans and strangled whimpers into your neck as he gives you the last few sloppy thrusts. He's almost there, and when he tries to pull out, it's the way your leg tightens around his waste and your needy whine that sends him over the edge, groaning and cursing with his face in the crook of your neck as he spills himself into you.

His cock pulses inside you with every wave, his hips chasing his release, tiny jerks as he empties into you. He stills, his heavy breathing in your ear, his weight resting on you, heavy but grounding, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

Once the room stops spinning and the stars clear from behind your eyes, you drop your legs. With a shaky sigh, Frankie starts to pull out, both of you groaning in protest as he slips out.

His cum leaks out of you, quickly pooling between your thighs no matter how hard you squeeze your legs together. And when he catches sight of it, it makes your face burn. At the mere sight of his sticky, warm release spilling out of you, mixing with your own, Frankie swears he could go another round right then. Something about knowing he marked his territory, his claim on you established once again. He looks up at you, your eyes closed, forehead creased, and he has to dig his nails into his palm to keep from dragging his fingers through the cum leaking out of you and pushing it back in, keeping it where it should be. 

But the weight of reality is starting to press on him once again, the fear and shame from earlier taking root again and tugging at his stomach and pulling him out of the euphoria.

He kisses your hip bone once before making his way to the bathroom for a wet washcloth. The room is silent as he cleans you up, wiping gently between your legs, both of you keeping your eyes on anything except each other's. 

When he's done, he stands and moves to gather his clothes off the floor, tugging his boxers back on before heading towards the door. But your shaky, watery voice breaks the silence and freezes him where he stands.

"You're leaving?" You ask, voice squeaking at the end as you pull the sheet up to cover yourself, as if it would protect your heart when he ultimately breaks it again.

He turns to look at you, his heart aching in his chest from the innocent way you're looking at him. The way your eyebrows draw together, and your lips pull into a frown, the way your lower lip trembles as your eyes fill with tears.

"Can I stay?"

His voice is quiet, fragile, as if speaking any louder would scare you off, would cause you to start yelling at him again until you ultimately kick him to the curb for good.

He stares at you through the darkness of the room as you chew on your lip and try to grapple with the split decision you’re facing.

The logical part of your brain is screaming at you to say no and end this right here and now. But that part of your brain is buried and silenced underneath the heaviness in your heart. That desperate need to hang onto whatever's left. You swallow the lump in your throat and give in.

"Please," you plead softly. "Don't...don't want to be alone anymore."

A rush of air leaves his lungs as the pressure is released from his chest as he climbs back into bed beside you. Your head finds his chest, curled into his side and letting his arms wrap around you. His embrace is familiar, comforting, your safe space.

You count the steady beats of his heart in your ear as his blunt fingernail scrape lightly up and down your back, knowing it always soothes you. No words are spoken but the air between the two of you is thick, full of the things you both want to say, but neither of you speak.

Sleep wraps its tendrils around you once again, exhaustion settling in your bones. You welcome it fully, even though you know when you wake up, you'll have to face the reality of the situation once again.

You can only hope that he'll still be here in the morning to face it with you.

For now, you let yourself drown in the warmth of his embrace, pushing away all the other things that are gnawing at you and letting yourself relax in the arms of the man who broke your heart.

Just one more night.

Thank you for reading!! :))

[scribblesofagoonerr]

Cos' sometimes sleep isn't enough anymore | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, C - Cos' sometimes sleep isn't enough anymore

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

I guess I'm on a roll tonight? 3 parts posted so far, I'm not even sure how many parts this will end up with but, um, yeah, i hope you like this one and it's not to heavy to read.

Absolutely none of it's proof-read so yet again it could seem jumbled up or not even make sense but umm I can't sleep and my brain is overthinking at 4 am so this is the result of it :)

Thanks for all the continuous love and support on this so far!

Waking up in hospital, you think over your thoughts about what happened and wonder if you really did mean to do it?

tw: heavy angst, talks of SH, MH, suicide and death.

Bright lights and slow repetive beeps followed by the sterile smell of a hospital enrivoment.

That's how you knew it was bad when you woke up.

You really hadn't mean for it to get to that point though, you made the mistake of cutting deeper than you should have and now you have landed yourself in the hospital.

This was definitely not your smartest move you had pulled.

Something tells you it wouldn't be so easy to hide your pain behind a fake smile now.

You felt the wet tears covering your own hand along with the heavy weight of another body practically leaning on you.

"Geez, did somebody die in here or something?" Was the first words you spoke since you had fallen unconcious and of course, it was with your usual cocky teenage atttiude.

Dark humour has always been your go to, you hate to show any type of vulnerability.

"Y/N/N" Leah voice croaks in surprise as she sits bolt up right to look straight at you. "You're awake, finally!" she immediately breaks down into sobs again as she reaches towards you and wraps her arms around you.

"Yeah, I'm awake but there's no need to cry about it" You struck back with the same cocky atittude, that drove your team mates crazy but loved you never the less. "Seriously though, did someone die? Cos' you're crying that much right now that I'm begining to think so" you note, hiding your own pain behind the smile.

Just keep smiling, nobody will ask questions.

Everyone will think you're fine.

"Seriously, Y/N?" Leah is quick to smack you around the back of the head as she's now giving you one of her famous glares, one that you knew all too well. "You scared me to death, you little shit!" she admits, showing her vunerability.

"Ow. Ow-- Hey, you can't hit me, I'm fragile right now" You can't help but pout and hope for sympathy from the older blonde girl.

"Fragile, huh? You seem fine enough to be making jokes" Leah remarks as she continues to glare at you.

"Come on, you know that dark humour is the way to go sometimes Le" You grin at the blonde, who doesn't seem to have the same idea.

See? Totally easy to hide your pain.

Leah just stares at you in disbelief you're really cracking jokes right now, "You're unbelieve sometimes, Y/F/N" she mutters aloud.

"Uh oh, your using my full name, am I in trouble now?" You can't help to continue with your cocky, I don't give a shit attitude never the less you had worried all of your team mates like you did.

"Right now I'm just glad that you're alive," Leah admits as she rewraps her arms around you and squeezes you gently. "But if you ever scare me like that again then we'll be having a very different conversation!" she tells you, sternly.

"Okay" You wince slightly as the tightness of the hug that the blonde was very reluctant to let go off you. "Seriously, Le. I'm fine now, why are you still crying so much?" You ask, confused.

"I'm crying because I... I thought I had really lost you this time" Leah speaks her thoughts aloud as she still holds onto you like you would disappear all over again. "When I found you, like the... like the way I did, I thought you was going to die" she adds in, quietly.

Your own amused smile starts to falter as you glance down at the bandages wrapped around your arm. "I'm sorry... I am really sorry for scaring you like that" You apologise quietly, starting to realise the seriousness of it all.

You must've had all of your team mates so worried and right now you were only acting like a total jackass about it.

"I was so scared" Leah replies as she pulls away from hugging you before she readjusts to move onto the bed beside you. "There was so much blood, Y/N/N. I... I thought when we arrived at the hospital, it would be too late and I'd be saying goodbye to you instead" she explains, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat.

Shit, why did I go and do that? I've made Leah almost have a nervous break down.

How could you be so selfish? You didn't deserve the love you recieved from your team mate.

"I bet the bathrooms' a right bloody mess now then" You can't help the comment that slips out of your mouth.

Once again, dark humour is a key to hiding the reality of pain.

Leah clicks her tongue at your comment, although she can tell exactly what you're doing now.

You had been doing it all this long so easily, it was just that nobody realised it.

"Why didn't you tell me that it was getting bad again?" The blondes' question is something that catches you off guard.

Guilt-striken to hear her words, you found sudden interest with the crisp white sheets currently covering you.

There was a lot of things that you could have said, but would she want to hear any of it?

Nobody can help me with the way I feel,

I'm so tired,

I wanted to relieve the pain, I wanted a way out.

All of the questions racing through your mind, you actually began to wonder if you had cut yourself that deep on purpose? Did your own selfishness overshadow any other feelings inside of you.

The battle with your inner demons was just too much sometimes, you was just so exhausted now.

So, why couldn't you have just been left to die instead?

"What's going on inside your head, Y/N/N?" Leah's next question brought you out of your dark thoughts. "Talk to me, you know that I'm here to listen" she states with a gentle tone of voice.

Although the next words that you speak are nothing that she can be prepared to hear.

"I think... I think I wanted to die, I wanted an out on life" Your voice quivers as you admit the truth to the blonde, finally.

"W... What?" Leah looks at you with a mixture of shock and hurt.

"I'm so tired, Le-- I'm just so fuckin' tired. I... I can't do this anymore" You express your feelings as you feel yourself tearing up.

It was as if Leah hadn't quite regestered the words you had said, or she had but she refused to believe that you actually did want to try and kill yourself.

"The girls all went to get coffee, um I think that all of the girls will be back soon though" The blonde tells you quietly as she wraps her free arm around you and gives you a small smile.

Denial, it was so easy to pretend there wasn't anything to read into with your most recent confession.

"Leah--"

"I bet they'll be happy to know that you're awake now" Leah cut you off as she continues to give you that weary smile, you weren't sure if she was now clutching onto you a bit tighter in fear of you pulling another stunt like you did.

"Leah, didn't you hear me? I said I wanted to die!" You shout loud enough for her to suck in a sharp breath.

"I heard you, Y/N/N-- I heard you, I saw you, I... I was there for it all. I was the one who found you in the bathroom; You was lay in a pool of your own blood while you were slipping in and out of unconciousness" Leah broke her game of where she didn't pretend you as she turned to face you, you had her whole attention now. "I sat there, pressing a god-damn towel against your cuts, praying that you would make it and you... you tell me that you want to die? You don't get to die. You can't, we need you-- Damn it Y/N, I need you! Y... You're my family! So you don't get to tell me you want to die!" she tells you, the shake in her voice so evident that she's close to tears again.

"What? You... You want to die?" Beth broke the tense silence as she has a distraught look on her face.

"Do you really mean that?" Lia questions as her eyes widen in shock.

Neither you or Leah realise that some of the older girls had made their way back to your room, when they arrived they were delighted with the realisation that you were now finally awake after the long 24 hours but that quickly turned into shock and hurt when they heard Leah's words so boldly, that even the patients down the hall probably would've heard.

"I do, I did... I don't know. I'm tired, I can't... I can't keep doing this anymore" You admit out loud for every single one of them to hear.

You hear the blonde beside you suck in another sharp breath as she keeps her arm firmly attached round your shoulder.

The confession is left hanging in the air, leaving a tense feeling and it was suddenly so quiet that in the room that you were certain that you would even be able to hear a pin drop.

Nobody utters a word, a state of shock written across each one of their faces.

"Sometimes sleep isn't enough when it's my soul that's tired" You tell them, leaving them all stood there grief-stricken with the realisation that you really had been struggling for longer than you wanted to admit.

[ellielatinagf]

Lacrosse! Ellie part 3

Summary: You finally get to meet up with ellie on a date! Is it a date? Technically….

Warnings: cursing, mentions of sexual activity, FLUFFFFFF lmk if I missed any

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

“Girl no those colors DO NOT match” Dina huffed

“Then what can I wear??” You asked almost getting annoyed. Dina had been at you house since 8 am. It’s now 10 am. You’d both been trying to plan a cute outfit for your little “date” with Ellie. Unfortunately Dina is going overboard and dressing you like your going to the red carpet.

“I’m gonna go take a shower Din, can you just pick something cute and casual for me please?” You asked

“Ugh. Fine. I guess no dress then” Dina said grinning a bit. You rolled your eyes smiling and went into your bathroom.

You looked in the bathroom window to see a small amount of snow on the ground. Winter came a bit early this year. Not that you were complaining, you liked the winter. You removed your clothes and turned on the shower to warm water.

As you stepped in you thought of your meet up with Ellie. You’d be wrong to say you weren’t eager about it. You’d thought of both the meet up and Ellie all week. Maybe Ellie a little bit more. You thought of Ellie at your front door holding a bouquet of roses and giving you that goofy grin she has. You thought of Ellie holding your hand while you two sat in a large fancy restaurant. You though of Ellie’s lips on yours at your own made up wedding ceremony. And guilty enough, you thought of Ellie above you naked and prepared to give you all the love she had for you.

Your thoughts were soon cut off by Dina talking behind the door

“Hey are you almost done? I had a lot of fiber this morning!” Dina said. You quickly finished in the shower and put on what Dina had picked out.

You had some boyfriend jeans with a Nike hoodie and a puffer vest over it. It was cute and simple. You looked at your shoe rack. You’d remember Ellie’s shoes. Crusty, old, torn apart converse. As much as it was kind of disgusting, it was kind of cute and made you giggle. You put on your plain converse, maybe Ellie would notice.

dina unlocked the door and came out of the bathroom and smiled at you.

“You look gorgeous” Dina smiled “thanks to me” you giggled at her weird compliment.

“Call me after okay? And give me every detail too. And I mean I wanna know the exact time she blinked too” Dina said

“Okay okay okay I’ll tell give you how many freckles she has” you replied giggling

“More than 50 and I’ll be concerned” Dina joked back and you both went your separate ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*10:45 am*

You walked in the coffee shop that Ellie had given you the address for. It looked small and family owned. Those were typically the best coffee shops in your opinion.

As you walked in you scan the facility. Would Ellie be here already? Does she like to be fashionably late? Maybe she’d think you were too early.

Your thoughts all went away when you looked and saw a familiar figure sitting behind the counter on the window.

She looked so good. Ellie wore a black t shirt with a red flannel over it. She also wore some faded jeans with them. The jeans has some pain splash’s and…is that charcoal? She also, as assumed, wore those same converse.

You walked towards Ellie and smiled. You tapped her shoulder and she removed her headphones to look at you.

“Hey” You smiled.

“Hey You” ellie smiled back. She turned her body to look at you. You felt her eyes travel up and down your body. You didn’t feel uncomfortable by it, it was almost like she was taking you in. She seemed to have come back to reality and patted on the stool next to her.

“Sit. Um, I ordered you a coffee already if that’s okay?” Ellie asked. She seemed a little nervous. You couldn’t help the small blush forming in your cheeks.

“That’s perfect” You smiled. “So how’s your week?” You asked trying to make small talk.

“My week? Um. Just a lot of practice” ellie chuckled.

Hot

“How about you?” Ellie asked

“It wasn’t bad” You smiled. A waitress came over and brought out the coffee.

As you two sipped your coffee Ellie talked about lacrosse. You didn’t know much about it but with Ellie, she could talk about a single grain of rice and you’d be interested.

“Sorry, am I talking to much?” Ellie asked cringing at herself.

“What? Oh no. I like hearing you talk” You replied. You felt yourself blush once again.

“I just think maybe I talk too much and it like, scares people away” Ellie chuckled awkwardly.

“I like hearing you talk” you repeat. Your cheeks were starting to feel hot. You contemplated going outside and shoving your face in the snow just to cool down.

“Yeah but…I like your voice too” Ellie mumbled. She said it so low, but you could just make out what she said.

“Is that the only thing?” You asked softly.

“Hm?”

“Is that the only thing you like about me?” You asked. You have absolutely no idea where and why this boldness has hit you like a speeding truck.

“….no” ellie replied sipping her coffee. You both looked out the window. The empty road. The white snow covering everything. The way that even though it was the afternoon, the grey sky illuminated the whole view.

“What else do you like?” You asked.

“….I like your smile” Ellie replied once again so softly you could barely make out the words. Your blush grew deep. But not as deep as you saw Ellie’s grow.

“I like your hair” Ellie said.

Oh she’s doing this…

“I like your pretty face” she says looking down in the cup of her coffee. You smiled and looked at Ellie. She turned her head to look at you. Once she saw that you weren’t uncomfortable by her words she smiled back.

“You wanna hear a good song?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah sure” you smiled putting your coffee down.

Ellie got out her phone and plugged in the earbuds. She handed you one as she looked for a song. You blushed and took the earbud in your ear and looked at Ellie with a look that said “I love you”.

Ellie looked at you and smiled. That smile. That grin your always thinking of. Those eyes you can never remove from your memory. Those freckles you wish you could kiss. Is there anything really stopping you from kissing them?

Ellie pressed play on the phone and you both listend to the lyrics

I thought that I was dreamin’ when you said you love me

The start of nothing

Had no chance to prepare, couldn’t see you coming

And we started, from nothing

Ooooh I could hate you now, it’s alright to hate me now

You listened to the rest of the song with Ellie. After it was done she smiled at you

“You like it?” Ellie asked

“Like it? It’s Frank ocean. Who doesn’t like Frank ocean?” You chucked.

“That’s what I’m saying! My friend, Jesse, says he’s mid and it doesn’t even make sense! Frank ocean is a lyrical genius, with the voice of an Angel” Ellie said. You giggled and smiled at her. She returned your smile.

For what seemed like eternity you stared into each others eyes. Her green orbs could light up any room. Her pink cheeks only helped bring out her freckles that were decorated around her face.

“What time do you have to go…pretty girl?” Ellie asked. Your face felt like it was on fire. You looked outside to see it be somewhat dark. Figures, with the winter change. You look at your phone clock

*3:17 pm*

“Hmm..probably now. I promised Dina I’d go to her house” you replied. Dreadfully of course. You wished you could just take Ellie everywhere you go.

“Me too. I have a game today” Ellie replied.

“Oh, you should send me your schedule. I want to go to another game” you smiled. Ellie chirped up and looked at you.

“Really?” She asked “but I thought you said you didn’t know anything about lacrosse?”

“Yeah but I mean…I can learn” you replied.

“Is there….any other reason you’d want to go?” Ellie asks. She knows what she’s doing doesn’t she?

“We’ll maybe…there’s Someone I’m looking forward to seeing” you replied blushing once again. With the amount of blood rushing to your face in this “date” you probably don’t have anymore blood in the rest of your body.

“Maybe someone’s expecting to see you too” Ellie replied smirking. That smile. God that smile.

As you both started to leave you both said your goodbyes at the door.

“Text me when you get home, mkay?” Ellie’s asked.

“Text me when you win your game” you replied. Ellie smiled at you. You stayed there, smiling and staring. You felt yourself leaning in toward Ellie. Like something was pulling you in. Ellie felt it too. You stopped when your lips were inches from hers.

*Dinasaur calling*

What a cockblcok

“Um sorry” you said chuckling nervously scrambling to turn off your phone.

“Oh heh no yeah sorry about that um…text you later?” Ellie asked

“Mhm yeah…bye Ellie” you said

“Bye babe” ellie replied smiling and walking away

after a couple minutes of walking you revived a text from Ellie

*if you could see my thoughts you would see our faces*

Your heart almost stopped. You thought your body was gonna explode. You knew it was yet another Frank ocean lyric, but you couldn’t help but be delusional over the fact that maybe it means something more. Maybe she wants something more.

You picked up the phone to call Dina back

“I’m gonna kill you” you huffed at your professional cockblocker.

I actually LOVEEEEEE this part omg. I hope you guys love it just as much as I do and I sooo wanted more fluff and I know you guys probably do too!Thanks so much for reading and I hope I won’t disappoint with the next part! Bye loves!! Free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Tag list: @vqxen @bready101 @vampyangel @gato-chino @a-little-bit-of-everybody @lilylynne11 @lively-blues

Love you all!!! Free Palestine 🇵🇸 from the River to the sea🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[alatushours]

☆ 3:27 AM, featuring xiao — even during the tough times, he’ll always be by your side.

contents. fem! sick + insomniac reader, hurt / comfort + lots of fluff <3 xiao calls you “angel,” reader is rather clingy, self indulgent, xiao takes a bubble bath with you bc he loves you sm ♡ tw. illness, nightmares, crying, and non sexual nudity. word count. 1.6k.

notes. hey um… i apologize if this was not what you expected during the holiday season but i am have been sick + incredibly stressed this month (∩ ˃̣̣̥᷄ ᴖ ˂̣̣̥᷅∩) so i kinda needed this… on the bright side, i am so thankful for all of the positive feedback on my previous post! it makes me very happy to see you all enjoying my work ♡

thin beams of moonlight filtered through the curtains, illuminating your shivering form on the bed. it was several hours past midnight, yet you still lay wide awake, hair splayed across your pillow like a halo.

it’s cold, you thought, pulling the blankets tighter. why is it so cold? 

it felt freezing outside, yet your body felt like it was baking in an oven. that, and the dark visions swirling in your already throbbing head was enough to make you sob in misery.

you lifted your head slowly to check the clock on your nightstand. 3:27 am. 

you buried your head deeper into your pillow, as if that could take the pain away. oh, how you wished your lover was here. he always made you feel better, loved and cherished. 

as if on cue, the door clicked open and a lone figure stepped inside the room. 

“hey, angel,” xiao whispered. “i heard you call my name… are you doing alright?” 

you stayed silent. it would only trouble him if you told him about your condition. you didn’t want your boyfriend to worry about someone like you, not when he was already battling so much himself. 

unluckily, xiao seemed to be able to read your mind; or at least, he was awfully good at knowing when you were hiding something from him. 

“hey, don’t ignore me like that.” xiao made his way over to the bed, turning on the lamp on the nightstand before sitting next to you. “i know you’re awake, and something’s wrong. just tell me, what happened?” 

hearing his voice, so worried and gentle, was enough to make your determination break. you threw yourself into him with a sob, feeling his warmth envelop you as his arms immediately snaked around your waist. you started crying, confessing your bottled-up emotions to him. 

“i-i… my head hurts s-so bad a-and i can’t sleep and everything is j-just so hard right now and i can’t do th-” 

you were cut off with a soft kiss. it was short, just one peck on the lips, but it was enough to make you calm down just a little. your sobs slowly turned to sniffles as xiao gently stroked his fingers through your hair, whispering kind words in your ear. 

“shh, angel, it’s okay… i know things are difficult right now, but i’ll always be here… i’ll always be by your side, alright? as long as you need me, my love.” 

you nodded into his chest, burying yourself deeper into his warmth. “i… thank you…” 

“there’s no need to thank me. this is what lovers do, right? they look out for each other. you’ve cared for me so many times before, when i was injured or struggling with my karmic debt. it’s about time for me to take care of you.” he took one of your hands in both of his own, circling his thumbs over the back of your palm.

“now, is there anything i can do to make you feel better? a glass of water? some food? do you want me to draw a bath for you?”

“… a bath would be… nice…” you murmured. 

xiao pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i’ll get it ready for you, my love.” 

he started to stand up, but something triggered in the back of your mind, for you didn’t let go of him. “no… don’t leave me alone… i don’t wanna be by myself…” 

xiao sighed, but didn’t complain. instead, he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you over to your shared bathroom. he kissed your forehead again before setting you down on the toilet lid to fill the tub with nice warm water for your bath. bubble baths always seemed to make you feel better, xiao had noticed before, so he made sure to add extra soap to the water.

before long you were seated in the bathtub, which was filled nearly to the brim with bubbles. seeing you giggle at the sight brought a smile to xiao’s face, but he couldn’t help but still be worried. how did you deal with this when he wasn’t here? 

he’d discovered your insomnia a few months ago, and you’d assured him that you were used to dealing with it; but were you really okay by yourself? he’d seen the dark circles under your eyes. and the way you had broken down tonight… 

“xiao?” the sound of your voice brought him back to reality. “is something wrong?” 

he shook his head. “i was just thinking, darling. don’t worry about me.” he sighed, letting go of his doubts. “is your bath okay? do you want me to be with you?” 

you looked down at your hands, fidgeting under the water. “i’d like that, but… i haven’t been feeling well, and i don’t want to get you sick too…” 

xiao chuckled. “i’m a yaksha, love. i don’t get sick that easily.” he stood up from where he was, removing the mask from his belt. “just relax, alright? i’m here.” 

he undressed and joined you in the bath, foam swirling around his body. "come here, i’ll wash your hair for you," he gestured. you obeyed, making yourself comfortable by his side as he moved to grab the shampoo.

“it’s been a while since we’ve been together like this…” he sighed, feeling himself relax as he lathered the shampoo into your hair. “i missed doing this with you.” 

“me too…” you smiled softly, remembering how you used to wash his hair for him after he had a nightmare. funny how now it was you who was getting your hair washed instead. 

the feeling of his fingers massaging your scalp was soothing, as was the feeling of bubbles on your bare skin. 

xiao’s hands removed themselves from your hair, moving down to your back. a sigh left your lips as he massaged your shoulders. “is this nice?” he asked. 

“mhm,” you closed your eyes, leaning back against his chest. you both stayed like that for a while, held in each other’s embrace. you couldn’t stay there forever, though, as the water was starting to get cold. 

xiao got out of the tub first, quickly drying himself off before holding out a hand to help you step out. a big fluffy towel was draped around your shoulders, followed by a soft kiss to your temple. 

“did that make you feel better?” xiao asked quietly. 

you smiled. "yeah, i'm doing a lot better now…" you turned around, standing up on your tippy toes to kiss him. "...because of you. thank you, xiao." 

"of course," he replied immediately. "it's what i'm here for." 

he helped you get dressed in your pajamas, draining the bathtub and hanging up the towels before walking you back to the bed. "i know you said you were feeling better, but i don't want you to get worse tomorrow. i'm gonna get you some medicine, okay?" 

you hesitated. "y-yeah, that's fine…" 

xiao raised an eyebrow. "are you sure? the lamp will be on and i'll only be gone for a minute or two, but if you don't feel comfortable by yourself, i can take you with me." 

"um…" you looked around the bed, spotting your favorite rabbit plushie that xiao had bought for you as a gift when you first started dating. you grabbed it and hugged it close to your chest before nodding. "yes! i'm fine on my own, don't worry about me!" 

xiao chuckled, "that's my brave angel." he kissed your hand before standing up. "call for me if you need anything, alright? i'll be right back." 

he left the room, leaving you alone with your stuffed animal and the feeling of your lover’s kisses to keep you company. 

all was silent for a few moments. you were trying very hard to think happy thoughts; how grateful you were to always have such a loyal and caring boyfriend by your side. however, the darkness that lingered in the back of your mind were starting to push their way forward again. you squeezed your rabbit tighter as you tried to shake the thoughts from your mind.

 i need to be strong, you thought. for xiao. he’s been so brave for me, so i need to be brave for him, too. 

before long, xiao returned with your medicine and a glass of water atop a wooden tray. “i’m back,” he said, putting the tray down on the bedside table. “were you alright on your own?” 

you smiled at him. “yeah! it was a little scary, but i wanted to be brave for you.” 

“for me?” he sat down, measuring out your medicine for you. “you could’ve just told me you were scared, and i would have taken you down with me. come on, take your medicine.” 

you did as he said. xiao sat behind you, brushing your hair for you as you downed the bitter medication. 

soon after, you and xiao got ready for bed and climbed under the covers together. xiao pulled the blankets around your shoulders. “are you comfortable, love?” 

“mhm…” you mumbled sleepily. “can we cuddle?” he chuckled and pulled you closer to him. you laid your head against his chest, tracing the tattoo on his right arm down to his hand, which was intertwined with his other. 

“sleep. i’ll be here when you wake up.” xiao whispered. 

“do you promise?” 

“i promise.” 

“seal it with a kiss,” you joked. he did just that, pressing a kiss to your lips. 

“there. now go to sleep.” 

"okay!" you giggled and snuggled close to him. slowly, the doubts from earlier in the night started to fade. although the fear wasn’t fully gone, having your boyfriend by your side definitely made it a lot less scary. 

"good night, xiao. i love you." 

"i love you more."

ending notes. edit, i wrote the first authors note about a week ago so i am not sick anymore lol but i still wanted to post this for those who are needing a bit of comfort this holiday season <3 also just bc xiao and forehead kisses >>> i hc to be taller than he is canon lol but anyways, there will be some special holiday posts between today and christmas day, so look out for those :)

© alatushours 2023. please do not copy, modify, or translate my work in any way, nor upload to any other platforms. in the meantime, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and consider leaving a follow! it helps a lot ♡

[darthgloris]

Hi! Could you maybe write what Berlin would be like if his girlfriend/wife got pregnant? Can be a one-shot or just headcanons <3

A/N: Hey! Of course you can, this is actually an adorable idea!! Here it is honey, hope you like it ❤❤

Warnings: pregnancy, fluff, spoilers

...

I think Berlín would be a bit shocked to find out that he got his girlfriend pregnant

Especially when they were dating in secret

He'd feel extremely guilty for putting her body through that pain

Let it be childbirth or abortion

But most importantly for not telling her that he wouldn't be with her and their kid for long because of his ilness

She had pulled him apart from the others that day to tell him

"Honey, can we... talk for a second?"

"Of course, what's going on? Should I be worried?"

"Depends... you know what, probably..?"

"Now I am a bit worried actually."

"Yeah, um, listen... I took a pregnancy test last night and... it's positive."

Berlín almost fell over

He had no idea how to respond

For once in his life he was at a loss for words

"But- but- how did we... I mean, we were careful..."

"'Oh, no, I have fast swimmers, boo-hoo!'"

He was confused for a moment

He was used to Y/N's sarcasm, but this was the first time he had to hold back his laughter

When she realised that she had snapped, she tangled a hand in her hair out of embarrassment

"Sorry, I don't know what got into me."

"It's okay. What do you want to do with it?"

He wasn't going to force her into anything

Instead of jumping in with a decision for both of them, he thought it was better to let her decide what to do with her body

"I... don't know. I have to think about it."

"Of course. Take your time, honey."

After that day, he was much sweeter and gentler with her

He didn't care if anyone noticed

He'd never let her make any big effort

He'd rub her stomach much more often, trying to get contact with the baby

Y/N saw how he acted with the baby, even if it was unborn

And she just couldn’t take that away from him

"Berlín."

"Yeah?"

"I want to keep it."

His jaw dropped open

"...wh-what... are you sure?"

"Yes."

She'd always remember how his eyes lit up and filled with tears

She was glad she could see this side of him

In fact, her pride grew at the fact that she was the one who got to

The next couple of months were very enjoyable for the two of them

The baby bump was still coverable

So she wore oversized clothes to keep it hidden as much as possible

Soon enough they started thinking of names

"How about... Nadia for a girl?"

"That's a beautiful name. Oh, what if we tried to keep the city name tradition alive?"

"And what did you have in mind?"

"Vienna. Bali. Londres. París. Whatever you please, my love."

Berlín handled her hormones like a pro

He'd never take her attitude moments personally

Comfort her when she cried

Even if it was the dumbest reason you could think of

If she had to be honest, she preferred the cuddly, sweet and thoughtful side of him to the cold, distant one

She absolutely loved the attention and butterflies he gave her

So much so that the relationship was barely even a secret anymore

The gang noticed how he started acting towards her but didn't think much of it

Until they noticed her stomach starting to get bigger

Their secret was saved though, but it came at a price

Y/N had a miscarriage

Berlín was devastated

He had gotten much closer to her than he'd expected

And as much as he loved the kid

There were a lot of things that were taken off his shoulders

For example, breaking her heart by telling her he had a year left to live

And would have left her and their child alone

But otherwise, they were deeply heartbroken

He didn't stop with the attention, though

It kept them both sane

At least enough to hold on until the heist

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 3: HOLLY, JOLLY

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: We do not take what Jonathan did lightly and neither does Diana.

Warnings: Bullying.

Word Count: 2122

Masterlist

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV

HAWKINS HIGH 

The day goes by in a blur. I don’t remember what I learned in my classes today because I can only think about Barb. If something happened to her—My body is pushed to the side and I squeak staggering on my feet. 

“Sorry!” Jonathan says, holding my arms to steady me. 

Jonathan. I forgot Mom wanted me to talk to him today. 

“It’s okay, I’m glad I found you.” I respond with a small smile. 

“Oh…” he says, fixing his buttoned shirt. 

I give Jonathan a quick once over, feeling a pit in my stomach. Jonathan looked like he was slowly spiralling. His hair was sticking out in all directions from running his hands through it too much. I know the Byers don’t have a lot of money, but they were always put together…Jonathan’s clothes looked like he threw them all haphazardly. The bags under his eyes are what stuck out to me the most. I’ve known Jonathan since we were little kids. Despite our little brothers being best friends, Jonathan and I don’t hang out one on one like Nancy and I do. The only time I have was freshman year, last year. I was his model for his photography project. We took a lot of photos at the park some regular, others with me in my pointe shoes, doing various poses and positions. The photos came out beautifully and Jonathan gave me a couple to keep for myself. Mom framed it and put it on the fireplace.

“I just wanted to know how you’re doing. I’m sorry for not checking in sooner.” I shake my head. “I didn’t know how.” 

“It’s been…rough.” He says, avoiding eye contact. “My mom isn’t doing so well.” 

“I can only imagine what you’re going through. I hope you know we’re here for you.” 

“Thanks, Diana. It means a lot.” 

I bow my head, pursing my lips. “My mom made cookies for you guys yesterday and she stopped by, but your mom wasn’t home. She left them on the porch.” 

“Oh yeah. My mom got them,” he said with a small laugh. It sounded forced. “I only had a few. They were really good. Tell your mom I said thanks…from both of us.”  I can tell it pained him to say both because they are a family of three. 

“I will.” 

Jonathan shifts from side to side. “Um, do you need a ride? I can drive you home.” 

What is it with boys offering me rides? 

“You live on the opposite side of town.” I point out. 

“I know, but I don’t mind. Really.”

I sense Jonathan doesn’t want to be alone and nod my head. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you.” 

As we approach Jonathan’s car, I am surprised to find Steve, Carol, Tommy H and another girl, who I don’t recognize standing around. I am immediately filled with dread, having spent the entire day avoiding them. Steve watches Jonathan with a scowl on his face and pushes himself off the car, walking toward us. 

“Hey, man.” He greets Jonathan. It’s as if I don’t exist. 

Jonathan swallows, eyes scanning the group. “What’s going on?” 

“Nicole here was telling us about your work.” 

“We’ve heard great things.” Carol says sarcastically. Tommy H and Nicole smile, but it looks more like a sneer. 

“Yeah, sounds cool.” Tommy H adds.

I squint not understanding what’s going on. 

“And we’d just love to take a look. You know, as…connoisseurs of art.” 

Jonathan pushes pass Steve to his car. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, no?” Steve asks. 

Tommy H quickly snatches Jonathan’s bag from his shoulder, throwing it to Steve who catches it with ease. Jonathan goes to Tommy H who bumps him in the chest, antagonizing him. 

“Hey!” I shout, marching to separate them. 

Tommy H stares down at me, like I’m an insect. “You hanging out with freaks and perverts now, Sinclair?” He taunts. 

I ignore him, pushing Jonathan away. Tommy H smirks at me as if he’s in on some inside joke I’m not sure about. 

“Please, give me my bag.” Jonathan stammers. Steve begins to unzip his backpack. “No just…” 

“Man, he is totally trembling.” Steve muses, “He must really have something to hide.” Steve pulls out a stack of paper. “Here we go.” 

“Let me see.” Tommy H says and Steve hands him half the stack. He’s glaring at Jonathan and I’m wondering what has him so mad. 

Tommy H flips through the paper, scowling as he goes. He looks up at Jonathan in disgust. “Dude. Yeah, this isn’t creepy at all.” 

Jonathan shifts from side to side. “I was looking for my brother.” 

It’s then I realize these are photos. Carol takes some out of Tommy H’s hand to look for herself. She pops her gum obnoxiously wearing the same disgusted look on her face. I swallow, glancing at Jonathan. He looks so uncomfortable; I fear the worse about the photos. 

“No. This is called stalking.” Steve snaps. 

“Give those back.” I demand. I don’t know what those photos are, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for everyone to be seeing, Especially if they are supposedly that bad. 

“You defending this creep?” Steve spat. 

“I’m not defending him. Just—” 

“There’s some of you too, you know.” Steve says, cutting me off. He hands me a stack of photos. 

I take the photos flipping through them. He wasn’t lying. There were photos of me by the pool while I was dancing by myself. Some with me and Barb sitting on the lawn chairs. Some of me in the Scorpion pose in front of the group. I see the grimace on Tommy H and Carol’s faces and am instantly transported to that moment last night. The feeling of embarrassment creeps up my spine. My stomach is in knots. From the corner of my eye, Jonathan is looking at me. I can’t believe he’d do this. Part of me feels betrayed and foolish. I was consoling him about his brother and he was…I rip the photos in my hands, shoving them in my bag. 

“This is so inappropriate for everyone to be looking at, don’t you think?” 

“What’s going on?” 

I turn around and see Nancy approaching us. I haven’t seen her since lunch. This day just keeps getting more and more worse. 

“Here’s the starring lady.” Tommy H announces with a smirk. 

Nancy arches her brow. “What?” 

“This creep was spying on us last night.” Carol responds, gesturing to Jonathan. She pulls a photo and hands it to Nancy. I glare at the red-head, shaking my head. “He was probably going to save this one for later.” 

Nancy takes the picture and I can tell by the look on her face and the flush in her cheeks, the photo is less than pleasant. She looks at Jonathan who avoids her stare. Steve rolls the photos in his hands. Usually, Steve is happy and aloof at school, but right now he looks menacing as he approaches Jonathan. 

“See, you can tell that he knows it was wrong, but…” he fixes Jonathan’s shirt, wiping off imaginary dust off his shoulders. “Man, that’s the thing about perverts. It’s hardwired into them. They can’t help themselves.” Steve rips the photos in his hands, throwing them on the ground. I watch Steve walk back to Jonathan’s bag by the car. “So, we’ll just have to take away his toy.” He opens the bag pulling out Jonathan’s camera. 

“Steve.” Nancy mutters.  

Jonathan charges for Steve but is quickly pushed back by Tommy H. 

“No, please, not the camera!” 

“Tommy. Tommy.” Steve cautions. “It’s okay.” He coos, walking to Jonathan. He hands him the camera. “Here you go man.”

Jonathan goes to take it from his hand, but Steve is faster and drops the camera on the ground. My jaw drops as the lens cover pops out and bits of the camera shatters. Tommy H laughs and Steve stares at the ground. I notice he avoids looking at Jonathan. There’s a flicker of sorrow behind his eyes but it’s gone as soon as it appears. 

“Come on, let’s go. The game’s about to start.” 

Nicole follows behind Steve and Carol rips up the remaining photos dropping them on the ground in front of Jonathan. Tommy H saunters toward him. 

“Boo.” He whispers. 

Tommy H then turns to me and grins triumphantly and makes sure to brush me when he walks away. When everyone is gone, Jonathan immediately drops to the ground reaching for his camera. I drop to my knees picking up the remnants of the photos. I see bits and pieces of Nancy in what I assume is Steve’s room and clench my jaw, snatching them from the ground before they flew away. Nancy drops to the ground beside me picking up a few scraps. I assume she’s helping until Steve calls her name. She looks at me and Jonathan before apologizing. I watch her hurry to Steve and walk with him towards the school. 

I continue to pick up the photos trying my best to avoid looking at them too much just wanting to get rid of them. My eyes betray me at the sight of another photo of me dancing by the pool by myself. If the photo was taken in better circumstances, I would’ve found it pretty. I crumple the picture in my hands shaking my head. 

“Jonathan…” I groan. 

“It’s not what it looks like!” 

I stare at him in disbelief. “It doesn’t look like you’ve been taking unsolicited photos of us?”

Jonathan shakes his head. “No—” I scoff standing to my feet, walking to the nearest trash can. “Diana I can explain.” He calls from behind.  

I look back at him, feeling nothing but disappointment and anger. Anger about Nancy, Barb, Steve Tommy H, Carol, Nicole now Jonathan and these photos. I feel like everything is coming at me in all directions and I don’t know what to do.

“I was giving you my condolences for Will and you had these in your bag the entire time!” I shout, waving the scraps in my hands.  

“I’m sorry, okay!” Jonathan cries, rushing toward me. 

I scoff throwing the photos in the trash. “You developed them, Jonathan.”  That was the worst part about it. It’s one thing to take the photos, but to develop them. For what? For what reason? 

“I know, I know!” Jonathan exclaims. “I didn’t…I just…” he runs his fingers through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. I know he feels bad, but I don’t care. 

“How long were you standing there taking photos of us? Some of these photos are of…” I look around before continuing. “Nancy taking off her shirt.” I hiss quietly at him. 

“I was looking for my brother and then I heard screaming and ran thinking it was my brother, but then I saw Tommy and Carol—”

“Oh, my god.” 

“I don’t know why I did it! There’s no excuse for it. I messed up.” 

“I am so…” I clench my hands into tight fists and squeeze my eyes shut. My chest feels tight. “Ugh.” I stomp the ground. “I can’t even think straight. You boys are so…so…stupid!” 

“I’m so sorry, Diana.” 

I open my eyes and take a deep breath finding Jonathan looking at me. I notice the bags under his eyes and how disheveled and stressed out he looks. He’s been through a lot the past few days, but it’s no excuse to do something like this. He looks down at his camera, toying with the cracked lens. For as long as I’ve known Jonathan, he’s never without his camera and now with Will gone, I know he has been more attached to it now, more than ever. 

“Let me see,” I sigh, extending my hand. Jonathan looks at me for a moment, but hands me his camera. 

I inspect the damage. It’s bad. He definitely won’t be able to use the camera anymore. Part of me thinks he deserved the confrontation, but the other part doesn’t think Stee had a right to break his camera. That was going overboard. Nonetheless…

“Steve didn’t need to break your camera to prove his point.” I begin, handing the camera back to him. “But honestly, it was justified. You invaded his privacy too, Jonathan.” 

When he doesn’t reply. I shake my head, fixing my bag on my shoulder. From the corner of my eye, I see someone coming towards us and I brace myself for round two, but when I turn, it’s Nancy. She’s speed walking and there’s a worried look on her face. Nancy touches my arm and pulls me. 

“I need you to come with me,” she whispers.

NEXT -> PART IV

[cato616]

PREDICTABLE FEELING (part two)

kendall roy x fem reader

note! I wanted to make a note then I forgot what I wanted to say but this stays here tho lmao

summary: you spend the whole night at kendall's celebration party, you'll be fighting the urge to not jump over kendall all night, even when you've been feeling some type of jealousy that makes you mad mostly at yourself.

parts: pt.1 /// pt.3 // pt.4

content/warning: fluff and intense moments, jealousy, and some alcoholism?

Being an assistant of one of the roy family, means being there 24/7 for them, meaning, not being in your place that much. And as for now, you are now at your apartment, to dress up for the party, but you'll have to hurry, you will have to be one of the firsts to be there; so rapidly you dress up, a black short ordinary dress, very assistant-ish, that will also try to have some fun, your most comfortable high heels, if you're gonna have some fun time, then your feet shouldn't be in pain; finally, basic makeup and voilà. Your rushed outfit it's now finished, you grab your purse and now you're ready to dash yourself to ken's.

You come down the elevator, the doorman opened the front door of the building for you and then closed it. You have the 'range rover' waiting for you outside. You kept looking at your phone, arranging every last piece you had to organize of the party the ken left you to do, while you also open the car's back door, eyes fixated on those texts, even when you already sat down and had closed the door. Nothing was coming between you and that phone, nothing to be distracted by.

"am I invisible?"

That was ken that was beside you, you didn't see him at all when you got in the car. vision totally getting worse. "AH fuck jesus christ" You definitely got yourself scared there. However you did felt some presence of something next to you, but somehow you thought it was just some pile of boxes, didn't even felt like questioning yourself. "oh-my-god, you really can't see, that's bad." Kendall says while smiling. "uuh b- but, what are you doing here? shouldn't you be at your place?." Although you were pretty confused as to why kendall was inside the car you're supposed to take, deep down you were relieved he was next to you privately before going to the party. "I was actually in some other place, and thought I should stop by yours, since it's passing by to mine." He smirks as he thinks he's so intelligent for thinking that. "we saved some fuel." He says while he points his head with his fingers. "oh of course absolutely smart mr eco-friendly." You sarcastically said; he laughs, "oh okay, don't cross the line there." He kept on smirking. "don't worry, I won't." As you said that, your smile fades, but you try not make it obvious, so you decide to turn your head to the window, just to hide your gloominess to him. He sees you suddenly turn you head the other side, basically killing the nice vibe he was feeling, he was thrown by your reaction. He smiles awkwardly not knowing what to say. "um okay." He whispers to himself, and then turns his whole body back to the seat.

You didn't plan to start the night so sad because of kendall, even that, in front of kendall; so you try to break the ice a little bit before getting to his place. "um... I rechecked the list, and at least 40/45 people comes tonight." You informed him, in a 'professional' tone. "great, great... is she coming?" You hope he's not talking about what you think he's talking about. "who?... your, ex? You asked him trying to get your answer. He chuckles and looks at you confused by your question. "um yes, my ex, of course." You didn't want to admit that your were feeling jealous. why does he want her there? "I think... I think she does." You cut off and again not wanting to look at him, you feel like such a fool thinking he would care you were gonna be there, except from being an assistant to him. So long for trying to break the ice. I'm an idiot

You arrived at his place, kendall gets to open the door first and get out of the car quickly before you, then surprisingly opens the door for you out of nowhere. You did reply thank you to him, as he smiles and takes his hand out for you to take it, but, you ignore that; thank you was enough, however, trying to deny your feelings for him is goal for now, you can't keep your hopes up, even if it's disregard his gestures. You walk out of the car to inside the building, while kendall felt ignored by you, standing there with this hand in the air. He looks at you walking down the building, he close the car's door, and very fast and sophisticated runs over the main door of his building to once again, open it for you while he smiles feeling stunned. You stopped walking when you jumped by his action. "Are you now getting inside or are you suddenly going to walk away." He laughs, referencing the hand you stood up back there. "thank you." You replied again, trying not to sound too irritated, by then you passed the door and grabbed the handle yourself from the inside when he was still grabbing it as well. "And now you can go." You weren't feeling the small gesture thing he was doing, so you tease him by doing what he was doing; you smile at him very unserious, it looks like you really got mad by the situation after all. He smiles slightly fades away too this time, he was joking around before, but he doesn't realize you're, deep down, a bit hurt. You entered the elevator, and for him it felt a little awkward. 'why does she seem so angry?' On the other hand, you acted like you didn't care, looking over your phone once more.

You got to the floor, without saying a word this whole time, but you acted careless at the moment, you didn't look at him, you can't, but you want to. The elevator opens up and you go out first and not waiting for him, walking down to his flat. Of course at least two or three people were already there, the housemaid opened the door for them. Shiv and roman where already there. You felt a little bad for not wating for kendall, so you stopped right when you arrived at the door, but eyes over your phone. Kendall got to the door as well, but you could feel his confusion without looking at him. He then opens the door, automatically changing his mood to greet everyone. "Hey! hey! how's the party people doing?" You can hear roman sighing from a far as soon kendall yelled that. "well no, now that you're here I don't thinks so" Roman joked, although you couldn't tell ever if he was serious or not. "nice to see you excited rome." Responded kendall. Both shiv and roman looked very elegant for a "small" party, you think they looked pretty nice. "hey, tell your partner to stop staring at us like that" Roman tells kendall as he tries to make you feel embarrassed twice this day; as for you, totally get super uncomfortable and rapidly shift your eyes to your phone. "hey come on man, I thought today I told you to stop it." Kendall said to roman very quietly.

We were still, right at a corner, keep on messaging. Roman and shiv left the room to get to another, and kendall walked straight to you. "y/n, I think everything is pretty good, so are the people coming any soon?" He asked, standing right in front of you, however, not any eye contact there. "yes, they should arrive pretty soon." You replied, stoney-faced. He didn't leave just yet, some words wanted to be addressed. "... is there, something wrong?" Asked pretty concerned, and curious to see if maybe it was his fault. "what do you mean? they all are getting here..." You said thinking he meant the guests. "y/n hey." He waives his hand over your phone to get your attention, and he got it, you looked up at him, jumbled. "finally, hi again" As he said that, he looked intensely to your eyes. "what the hell is up to you?" You frowned, you wanted to tell everything, yet again, that wasn't your plan, getting attached to him; you looked down to think your steps, then stared back again, this time, with a grim expression, quietly said, "im sorry, kendall, but what do you care?... yes, I am your closest employee, but I am still just an employee to you." You stayed still, already regretting how you remarked it, hoping he doesn't fire you out of disrespect or something like that.

Kendall kept gazing at you, and didn't seem annoyed by your saying. "I understand that, but I think you're wrong" He said chuckling looking down, pausing, and just like you, stared back up. "you didn't tell me tho, what is up to you." Stepped even closer to you. Your face was even brighter than before, scared to make a move; you had to answer him but couldn't form any words. "...I, can't." You truthfully said. Kendall felt confused and was about to say something. "Guests are here, excuse me." You fortunately found an excuse to get out of that situation and compose yourself. You looked back at kendall who was still leaning against the wall trying to process what you just said; and by then, you try to avoid him the whole night.

Time passes and you try to have some fun, chatting with some of the other assistants and employees, distracting yourself from kendall, and drinking is also a choice you make to relax yourself; the party wasn't at a party salon, but it was pretty well organized, kendall even hired- actually, you hired, a bartender; so that's who been doing your drinks all night.

At moments you wanted to go out to the balcony to have the drink, see the view, and be by yourself, and you like it like that. However your enjoyable time alone was interrupted, when you hear the door behind you open up, and then closes behind you. "We discussed you were supposed to have fun, are you having fun?" And of course it was kendall, trying to be friendly. "I was, just a second ago." You implied, kendall responded right after that, feeling aggravated. "Seriously you need to tell me your issues with me, 'cause I don't get it." Kendall exclaimed, yet you didn't say anything, but he continued. "And honestly, you're supposed to be my assistant, we should be getting along, and if we don't... that's a problem." He signified, trying to get your attention, once again it did, you turn to him. "are you trying to fire me?" You asked with indignation. "I don't want to, you know, but yes, it's logical, if you keep playing like that." You are now feeling outraged by his response, and can't control your saying. "well sorry that I actually feel and don't want to tell you about it! what's your problem?" You're feeling pissed off by his egocentric attitude. "it's definitely not wanting you to tell me your pretty feelings, it's because you have something against me, I can see it because you show it, at least try to not make it obvious." There is silence between you two, he looks away but you don't. "no, I don't have anything against you." Don't want to explain yourself, but you had to, since he was your boss, and because, you felt pretty bad. "I don't, and im sorry that it looked that way." If you could, you would be hugging him right at that instant, it was like an urge to you, like a strong magnet was attracting you to him, and you were fighting it. "yeah but don't lie to me, out of fucking nowhere, you decided to avoid me, rolled you eyes and shit, that's not cool, what did I do? tell me." He remarked his question very strongly. Your mind was blank, what am I supposed to say.

You try to calm yourself by telling what you can only say to him; you got closer and put your hand over his chest. "first of all, you didn't do anything wrong, but I can't... I can't say more." You try to leave, walking towards the door to go inside. Quickly and unexpected, you feel a force pulling you back, kendall reached your arm and grabbed it from behind to stop you from leaving. He snatched you right back, pulled to get you closer to him, feeling how warm it was when near him; there was only eye sighting at the moment, you felt an immense desire to get all over him, and profoundly kiss him all night long. "I can take it, you can say it." Ken insisted, as both couldn't resist but to stare at each other's lips as well. "I think you don't wanna hear it." Somehow those words came out of your mouth since you couldn't concentrate by the tension. "I think I do." He whispers, then initially tries to get a closer look to your face, touching your cheek, and slowly lowering to your lips, his fingers gradually passes over it, savouring it with his touch, oh how much he needs it to taste it. While you were very still and scared to move a muscle, that aspiration you felt, it was getting stronger, but you couldn't kiss him, if someone was getting kissed, he should be the one making the first move, you felt you shouldn't do anything if he doesn't feel the same, since he's your superior. But he didn't, he wasn't doing anything, why isn't he doing anything. You felt irritated. "I think I know now how you feel, fuck." He wanted you as much as you wanted him, and the angry it now went away. The only word that could come out of your mouth, "please.." you whispered, begging him to do something to you, as he was grabbing your face with both his hands, and quietly responded too, "yes, yes, I know oh I need it trust me i-" he cut off as each other's lips got closer and closer, gasping for air, how infuriating that you weren't even hugging, but he couldn't do it. "-i want to, but I can't..." He stands back feeling so much misery. "there's people in there, and you know, what people are inside... so we can't, not at the moment." You know he was right, it's irresponsible to launch myself at him like that, the assistant. You felt awful.

As he was about to leave back inside, he comes back and suggests, "tell you what." He grabbed your face with one hand. "stay for the night... after the party." You nod excited, agreeing; he almost tried to kiss you at that moment, but couldn't, instead, once again, touched your lips with his thumb and he couldn't stop staring at it. "I can't wait when i-... I can't wait." He couldn't finish he's sentences, but you know what he meant, and you finally answered to him. "I can't fucking wait either." He grinned and left slowly walking without taking his eyes off of you. I'll see you later ken.

continue.

[bingbongsupremacy]

The Letter Pt. 3

Pairing: Ellie Williams x fem! reader

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used

Summary: Ellie and Y/N are in two very different social groups at school. One day when Y/N's crush is cruelly exposed in front of the whole school, Y/N is brutally shot down. Finally, five years later the two run into each other again.

High School AU

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*Not Proof Read*

A/N: Day one is bad. I didn't know what to do for the first day. I just wanted it to look awkward af bc it's supposed to be super awkward and tense between Ellie and reader. Guys idk how good this is. I feel like I had an idea but idk if I executed it very well. I kinda just ran out ideas for this story. Lmk what you think. Also sorry for not updating yesterday. I just started a new job and shit's wack. I feel like whenever I go to work my body insecurities get worse, ya know? Idk why. Maybe it's the uniform or whatever but I just feel shitty whenever I show up. Anyways, ya'll aren't here for my life story so here's what you came for.

Also I changed it to only three days bc I couldn't think of enough things for them to do.

*****

Day One

Trixie's. Must be a new business.

I don't remember it being here before.

A cool breeze brushes past me as soon as I walk in. The first thing I notice is the large bar in the back of the room. What I'd give for a fucking beer right now...

We sit towards the back of the building. A waitress is quick to bring us some bright red menu's. " I'll be right with you two in a moment. " She smiles before rushing off.

Ellie and I are silent as we scan over the menu's. I don't think either of us knows exactly what to say. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to someone who caused you so much pain?

Just one hour.

Ellie sets down her menu. " Hey so, there's a fair coming through town this week. Do you maybe want to go on Thursday? " She asks cautiously.

I glance up at her. Bad mistake.

Fuck she's hot.

" Um, " Fuck I don't know. Do I want to go? Fuck. " Sure. " I shrug, setting aside my menu. " I mean we've got to do something Thursday anyways, why not? "

The rest of the evening seems to drag on. Small talk is quickly overcome with awkward silence.

How the fuck am I going to do this for 6 more days?

_____

Day 2

Here we go again.

I pull into the movie theater parking lot. People flow in and out of the building, smiles adorning their faces.

I spot Ellie waiting by the entrance, cigarette in hand. " Hey. " I greet with a tight smile.

" Oh hi! " Ellie smiles, snuffing out the bud. " Ya ready? " She asks.

" Yup. " I mumble. In an ideal world both of us will end up disagreeing on a movie to watch and end up splitting up to watch our own show. I doubt it'll happen, but a girl can dream.

" What should we watch? " Ellie asks while looking through the movies. " Oh shit, the Savage Starlight movie came out. " She mutters, her eyes lighting up slightly.

" Wait really? " I glance over her shoulder to look. " I thought it was coming out next month. "

Ellie nods. " Me too. Should we watch it? "

" Sure. "

At least something good will come out of this.

" That fucking sucked. " Ellie blurts as we walk out of the building. " Whoever made that needs to fucking read the comics. "

" Oh my god, I thought I was the only one. " I sigh. " They completely ruined the plot. "

Ellie nods in agreement. " And Daniela Star...fuck what the hell did they do to her costume? "

I chuckle. " They sexified it. Like bro, just let a girl live without having to show her tits. " I roll my eyes.

" Yeah. "

There's a moment of comfortable silence. No tension. No anger. Just two people bonding over a comic series. For a moment I almost things feel okay.

" I don't know about you, but I'm fucking hungry. Do you wanna grab something to eat? " Ellie asks.

" You read my mind. " I nod, pushing myself off of the wall. " Where are we going? "

Ellie and I walk down the street to a small pizza joint.

" I'll have the cheese pizza, please. " I say after examining the menu.

" Alright, your total is $4.50. "

" I got it. " Ellie pulls out her wallet before I can speak. She hands over a five dollar bill. " Keep the change. "

" Ellie. " I shake my head. " You've paid for everything so far. I can't let you do this. " I try to hand her another five.

Ellie backs up shaking her head. " No. I told you I was gonna make what I did up to you. This is the least I can do. "

We quickly grab our food and head outside.

" This shit is the best. " Ellie mutters between bites. " I don't know why I haven't been here in so long. I used to love this place as a kid. "

" Marco slips something in his dough, I swear. " I agree. " I haven't found another place with pizza this good. "

The sound of crickets fills the air. A small click captures my attention.

" That shit's gonna kill you. "

Ellie shrugs, lighting up the end of her cigarette. " At least I'll die happy. "

I roll my eyes. " You'll die hacking up blood. "

Ellie's nose crinkles slightly. " Thanks for the visualization, dad. " She mocks slightly. " I only smoke when I'm nervous or stressed. "

I purse my lips. " Ellie Williams, are you nervous right now? "

Ellie doesn't respond. Instead she takes a deep breath.

" What happened to you, Ellie. " I ask genuinely curious. " You used to be... "

" Perfect? "

" I was gonna say an asshole. "

Ellie chuckles. " I grew a fucking spine. I ended up cutting majority of my friends off and dropping out of college. Now I sell weed and work at a supermarket. " She says nonchalantly.

" Definitely a big character change. "

Ellie grins. " Speaking of weed. " She pulls out a blunt. " You ever try one? "

" Of course. "

Maybe tonight won't be so bad.

-----

Day 3 (Thursday)

" I will win that stupid bear if it's the last thing I do. " Ellie huffs in frustration. Her face hardens in concentration as she tosses another dart at the dart board.

" You really don't need to, Ellie. " I grin at her 20th attempt.

Ellie doesn't respond. A small alarm goes off as Ellie finally makes the final dart into the center of the board. " Fuck yeah, baby! " She cheers. " Told you I'd do it, Y/N. "

I roll my eyes. " Yeah yeah. "

Ellie accepts the large stuffed bear from a game operator who's obviously very annoyed with us. Yeah, we've been here a bit.

" Here, this is yours. " Ellie hands me the large brown bear.

" Are you sure? You spent like 40 bucks trying to win this thing. "

Ellie takes a sip of her beer. " It was worth the smile on your face. Keep it. "

The past couple of days have been...unexpected. I came into this fully expecting to hate Ellie when I leave.

Now I'm not so sure.

We make our way to our last ride of the night; The Ferris Wheel.

" God, Jackson looks beautiful up here. " I sigh while peering down at the bright lights.

Ellie hums in agreement. " It's a nice breather from the world. I feel like I can just...be. "

" It definitely is. " I glance over at Ellie.

She looks back at me. Her smile slightly falters. " I guess this is it. "

It's the third day.

Have I forgiven her? I'm not sure. On one hand, I don't feel like she's the same person. On the other hand, how can I be sure. I mean, I haven't been here in five years. She could be lying for all I know.

" I'm not sure about you, Ellie. I don't think three days is enough time to fix what happened. "

Ellie nods, gaze dropping to her lap.

" But I'd like to get to know you. "

She head snaps up. Confusion flashes across her expressions. She obviously wasn't expecting me to want to talk to her after this.

" Maybe I can...stay a little longer. "

A grin spreads across Ellie's features. " I'd like that. "

" Well then. To new beginnings. "

" To new beginnings. "

I don't really like this last chap. I might remake it if I can come up with some ideas for it. Hopefully some of you guys still enjoyed it.

Tag list (Sorry if I missed you): @octavias-next-meat-bite @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @3lliesrifle @mokeysthings @mqddieas @elliesinterlude @ashlqyy @villainousbear

[sturniolos-blog]

band - pt 3 (pt 2 here)

warnings - swearing, abuse

12:58 am

Matt and I then walked into Dans Motel, we walked in to see and old lady with a cigarette.

Matt spoke up first, “Hi, uhm- we need a room for two, preferably two beds.” He spoke up,

The lady cleared her throat, letting out a harsh cough, jeez. She looked up at me, her eyes lingering on me for a second, probably because of my beat up bloody face.

“Nuh uh, that won’t work.” She says, typing something on her computer.

Matt looks at me with a confused look, i look back at him. She then clears her throat,

“But we do have a room with one bed.” She said, looking between the two of us.

I sighed and nodded.

“That’s fine. thank you.” Matt says.

“How many nights?” She coughs again.

Matt looks at me and I just shrug, “one night?” He says, sort of a question, i nod in agreement.

She typed something on her computer,

“300.” She says, looking back at matt.

My eyes widen, “300? what the hell- i don’t have that kind of money-” Matt cut me off by shushing me, pulling out his wallet and taking out 3 hundred dollar bills.

“Matt what are you doing?” I grab his shoulder but then he hands the lady the money.

“Alright, room 215. have fun guys.” She winks.

I sigh as matt takes the key,

we start walking to find the room.

“you didn’t have to do that, i’ll pay you back i promise..” I rub my forehead as we walk.

Matt looks at me, “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”

I look up at him, taking a breath and nodding,

We make it to the room, he opened it, it was small and manageable.

Matt grabs my hand and leads me to the bathroom, “Sit.” he says as he points to the closed toilet seat, I give him a confused look and he gives me a “sit down now” look, so i do, he then crouches and goes through the sink cabinet.

He grabs a towel and rubbing alcohol, i swallow harshly,

“Um i can do this myself-”

“Shut up,” He hisses, i close my mouth. Letting out a frustrated breath as i look away.

“Thank you..” He says, his voice softer now.

He then puts the towel under warm water, squeezing it out slightly before grabbing my chin in his hand and making me look at him, he stood in between my legs as he dabbed my cuts with the towel, i let out a wince, he stopped.

“Sorry..” He whispers before continuing again, wiping all the blood off my face.

He then grabs a Q-tip and puts some of the rubbing alcohol on it, he goes to dab one of my cuts but i grab his wrist,

“That won’t work for me.” I shake my head,

Matt let’s out a sigh, “I have to clean them, Y/n..” He looks down at me, his gaze made me want to crumble.

I let go of his wrist and let him clean my cuts, as he continued cleaning them i let out hisses in pain, him muttering a sorry every now and then.

After we were done Matt walked out of the bathroom, i followed suit. He kicked off his shoes and took off his vest he had on, throwing it over an arm chair.

I looked at him for a moment, not really sure what to do as he got under the covers.

“You gonna get in or what?” He says.

I kick off my shoes too, climbing into the space next to him, the bed was small so we didn’t have much room between us.

“Matt?”

“Yes, y/n?”

“I’m not tired.” I whispered.

“Me neither.” He said as we both stared at the ceiling.

“Matt?” i broke the silence again.

“what, y/n?”

“Thank you..”

Matt cleared his throat, “Of course.. you were hurt. I would never leave you like that. and i’m sorry for rachel, she can be a real bitch sometimes.” He says softly.

I turn on my side to face him, he turned his head noticing i turned my whole body, doing the same now.

“It’s okay..” I whisper.

Matt shakes his head, “It’s not, she doesn’t know you like that she had no right to say that kind of stuff.”

“You don’t know me like that either, matt..” I said.

Matt swallowed, “What really happened?”

I shook my head, not wanting to answer.

“Y/n.”

“Matt.”

“What happened?” He asked again.

“I came home late and i didn’t answer his texts, it was my fault.” I said lowly.

Matts eyebrows furrowed, “A fucking guy put his hands on you!?” Matt sits up,

I sit up too, “Matt it’s okay he never does it that badly-”

“I don’t fucking care, y/n! That’s fucking sick.” Matt scoffs.

“Stop acting like you care matt you don’t know me!” I yell.

Matt sighs, “I know you well enough to know you don’t deserve anything like that, okay? i’m sorry but that’s really fucked up, and you can’t go back there, after what he fucking did to you? yeah no.” Matt shakes his head.

“I can’t go anywhere else, Matt. Trust me i’ve tried. And he ends up finding me anyway.” My voice cracked as tears welled up in my eyes.

Matt put his hand on my back, rubbing up and down. “Stay with me.” He whispered.

I looked at him, “What? i thought you got kicked out?”

Matt shook his head, “That’s my apartment not hers, it’s all under my name. She just moved in with me, she doesn’t even pay anything she spends all her money on weed and drugs.”

“Oh..” I whisper.

Matt nods, “yep.”

“That doesn’t mean i can stay with you, Matt. Jonathan would literally kill me.”

“No the fuck he would not. I wouldn’t let him.”

I let out a sigh, “Can I think about it?” I bit my lip.

Matt nodded and laid back down, on his side so his back was towards me, “Goodnight, y/n.”

“Goodnight, matt.” I laid down too, my back facing his.

the end

[kay-i-guess]

snow on the beach | Percy Jackson

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Percy Jackson x gn!Reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Swearing, a monster

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | an unlikely meeting results in something fucking beautiful

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | based on this request <3 

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 1.4k ish

Holly shit I need to clear my head. I hear our apartment door slam behind me as I rush down the stairs. My head was reeling, why was this happening and why am I the only one who can see it? I feel their cool air hit my face and I just start walking not sure where I'm going. I'm brought back into my thoughts at the sound of a car horn. I stop and look around I know where I am just a few blocks from my family apartment. I rub my arms to keep myself warm even though it's still early winter it's a cold day and my fleece isn't doing much to keep the brisk wind out. 

I bite my lip as I try to get my thoughts together. Not going to lie to myself my entire life has been pretty wacky. But the last year has been something else. Today was the typing point, the tv was on with the news of some massive fire, but I could have sworn in the crowd amongst the smoke I saw 3 massive dogs, and not like mastiff size like a rhino size with glowing red eyes. When I pointed them out my family all thought I was joking and I played it off like that but the truth was I've been seeing things like that on and off for months now. I know what I saw but no one else can see it and it infuriates me.

I scan my eyes wildly for some answer as if one would be on the streets of new york. 

Fuck it, if no one else can see them then ill just have to pretend to be like them, I've been doing it my whole life just because now I have to add giant scary dogs to the list doesn't mean I can have a giant life crisis. 

I turn to head back but I stop in my tracks just a few meters away was one of them staring right at me. Okay, maybe the pretending could start when I was safe inside my home. I turn the corner and start running I can hear the pounding of its feet, or maybe that's my heart I turn to check if it's behind me but suddenly I slam into something. I tumble onto the sidewalk and I feel burning pain on one side of my body.

“Oh my gods I’m so sorry are you okay” I hear a voice say 

“Im alive if that's what you're asking” I push my body up so I can see who is talking, and my eyes widen as I see what he's holding “fuck dude is it even legal to have that!” I scramble away from the buy with the might I add very deadly weapon” 

“I think so?” his eyes widen as if releasing something “Wait you can see it” 

I wince as I stand up “You mean the fucking sword in your hand? yeah. I can see it” I scan my injuries “Dude these are my favourite pants!” where my knee and leg hit the ground there was a giant tear

“You’re more worried about your pants than the gash in your leg?” he says jokingly 

“Skin will heal my pants will not” I eye him “Who are you anyway and why were you surprised I could see your sword?”    

“Oh um this might sound weird but do you ever see anything” Taking in my bewildered expression he tries to explain “Like weird things and other people cont see them or see something else” 

 My eyes widen in shock my brain is telling me to run as far as I can but for some reason, I blurt out “Like the monster dogs?”

He seemed to be thinking then his eyes lit up “Yes! The ones with red eyes?” 

“That's what I was running from dude! There's one a few blocks around the corner!”

“Oh! Why didn't you say so?” his eyes snapped from me to the corner of the street and back to me “Meet me here tomorrow at noon okay?” 

“Sure?” I’m confused, my head is spinning and the pain from my fall is starting to kick in 

“I'll answer all your questions I promise but right now go somewhere safe. Now!”

 I do just that as I sprint away taking a different route to my home.    

Later that night I was lying in my bed my thoughts spiralling.

Who was the (quite attractive) guy?

Why can he see the same stuff as I can?

Why can I see it?

I groan as I roll over in bed, I can't deal with this right now. Even though I would see him in a few hours it felt like I would have to wait a lifetime. 

✭✭✭

I tap my foot as my eyes dart around the street, I had gotten there early due to my nerves. I gnaw on my lip. What if he died? I would never know, and I would never get answers. 

I glance around again and this time I spot the sea-green eyes I was looking for, I smile out of relief and almost break into a grin as he smiles back from across the street. I can't help it this guy is seriously cute. 

“Oh thank god I had thought you had died” I grab his arm pulling him towards a coffee shop to get out of the cold air.

“Awwww missed me already?” he teases as I push the door open and step inside.

“Don't flatter yourself, you owe me answers.”

We slip into a booth in the back where no one would hear us. 

“So?” I ask 

“So what?” he asked cluelessly

I roll my eyes “Well I know nothing about you except you can see stuff like me, a name would be helpful for starters”

“Percy Jackson at your service, and you are?” he extends his hand 

“Y/N L/N, a pleasure to meet you” I shake his hand and giggle slightly at the formalness of it.

Percy explains about the gods and monsters and how it was all real in our world, then about how he was a demigod and went to a camp with all of them.

I nod slowly “Okay” I can hear my voice shake slightly and I take a deep breath “Cool, cool, cool monsters and Greek gods I can get my head around 

Percy tilts his head slightly scanning my face “You seem to be taking this well”

I laugh lightly “If I'm doing well I hate to see others, but yeah after what I've seen in my life it's not hard to put a reason behind it, even if the reason is slightly mind-blowing” I joke

Percy smiles but then scans my face again,

“What?” I ask he furrows his eyebrows “You keep looking at me like you're trying to figure something out.” I explain 

He sighs “I'm just trying to figure out if you're a half-blood”

 I cut him off “Like you?” 

“Yeah like me, but if you were we should have found you already,” his face told me it was a long story for another day “This might sound weird but do you have both of your parents?”

I laugh thinking he's joking but I stop when I see no humour in his face “I do yea” I tense I don't like where this conversation was going 

“Then you probably like my mom, she is completely mortal but can see through the mist”

“The what? Like fog?” my head was spinning 

“No, like a magical veil”

I shake my head “Can we talk about something else for a minute I think my head is going to explode,” 

“Of course, I remember when I first learned about all this.”

I smile gratefully “Tell me about your friends, from this camp place”

He tells me all about Tyson Grover Annabeth and Jason, it's obvious how much he cares about this place. We're both smiling and laughing, it was the happiest I felt in a while. His smile was contagious.

 After not long enough I look out the window and realized it was getting late 

“I should go, my dad is waiting for me” I sigh

“Oh okay,” he sounds as disappointed as I felt “Can I walk you back?”

The question takes me by surprise 

“Only if you want of course-”

 I cut him off “I would like that”

We grab our coats and I start leading the way.

Too quickly I stop at our apartment complex 

“So this is goodbye?” I ask 

“For now” he smiles reassuringly  

“Oh fuck it” I mumble and lean forward to kiss him on the cheek 

His eyes widen and a smile grows on his face “You missed” he jokes 

My nervousness melts into happiness “I guess il have to try again”

I pull his head down to meet mine, before our lips meet I whisper “I kinda have a crush on you Percy Jackson”

“Me too” and with that he closes the gap between us.

As we pull apart I can feel the coolness on my exposed skin, I look up and gasp

“It's snowing!” 

Our eyes meet and time feels frozen for a second, I'm afraid to speak too scared of ruining the perfect moment. It's like snow on the beach unlikely but fucking stunning.

[traumabuddies]

am i too late? hope not <3 how about "i'll carry you if you want."

if you want of course <3

Eddie would like it to be known that this is Buck's fault.

Well, technically, it's not, but Buck was the one who plucked him out of the very comfortable bed at the resort they've been staying at, and he was the one who insisted they go hiking with the promise of a beautiful view up into the mountains.

(And, maybe, the promise of a blowjob up there if it was as deserted as it's supposed to be, but Eddie will not admit that this is what picked his interest the most.)

The point is, Buck is the reason they're here in the first place, which means he's the reason they accidentally wandered off the hiking trail, which means he's the reason Eddie tripped and twisted his ankle.

"Eddie!" Buck screams, running back down to where Eddie slid.

"Careful," Eddie says through gritted teeth.

The path is steep, and the last thing they need is for the two of them to end up injured.

But Buck makes it, his big, earnest eyes wide open as they look him over.

"Are you okay?"

Eddie groans. "Peachy."

"Is it you leg?"

"Ankle," Eddie grits out, figures he won't be able to hide it anyway. "Pretty sure it's twisted."

"Okay, let me take a look."

There's soft press of lips to the crown of his head, and then Buck is removing his shoe and sock. It hurts, each touch sending searing white pain up his body.

The cold rush that comes with it is worse, especially when Buck starts proding.

"How bad is it?" he asks when Buck doesn't say anything, and Jesus, when did his breath leave him like that?

"Um." Buck sends him an apologetic smile that looks more like a grimace. "Feels like it's broken, part of the bone definitely isn't where it's supposed to be."

"Fuck."

"I know, I'm sorry."

It may be Buck's fault that they're here, but Eddie cannot stand the guilt already swimming in Buck's eyes. The gears are already turning, pinching his brow and tauting his features with worry.

"'s my fault, I tripped," Eddie says. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"Eddie—"

"Just call 911."

At least, Buck doesn't try to argue with that.

Except his face falls as soon as he takes his phone out.

"What's wrong?"

"No service," Buck says, and Eddie swears it's only a coincidence that the pain flares up. He feels himself stiffen.

"Shit."

Buck shakes his head, reaching into his bag. "It's fine, there was service about half a mile back down, we'll get back there and we can call for help, alright?"

His movements are frantic, too quick for the way Eddie's brain is fuzzing up. Still, Eddie can see him pull just about everything from his first aid kit, before looking around.

"How are we gonna get back there, I can't walk."

We'll—ha! This'll do." He reaches for Eddie's ankle again, and Eddie watches as he wraps it into a makeshift splint with twigs and tape.

When he's done, he turns to Eddie again. His face is twisted like he's the one in pain, his figners gentle on Eddie's face as they wipe the sweat off his forehead.

"I'll carry you if you want," he says softly, and Eddie snorts.

"Don't think I have much of a choice."

It's a bit of a hassle with the incline being that steep, but thankfully Buck is trained and extra careful. Soon enough—although it feels like a fucking eternity—Buck is carrying him piggyback, hands secured at the back of Eddie's knees while Eddie clings to him as hard as he can.

It's definitely not his favorite way to have his arms wrapped around Buck's neck, but who is he to complain.

Buck takes a deep breath, and Eddie holds on tighter.

"Be careful," he says.

"You trust me?"

Eddie never has to think about that answer. "Always."

A kiss to his shoulder, barely there, before Buck straightens up. "Then let's get you some help."

send me prompts!

[hwangphoria]

It’s time for a break. (Bangchan Oneshot)

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

WARNING: this Oneshot contains She/Her Pronouns and has a high amount of angst and mentions of abuse. If you are not comfortable. Please do not proceed.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Why in the world hasn’t he come home yet?

I checked my watch as I laid there watching the drama that I binged every night while chan was away at work… it was nearly 12 am.

He has been working late every single night and it’s absolute bullshit. The company fails to recognize that he is a human being. He deserves a break too, but he is constantly overworked to his limits.

The blood inside of me is almost boiling at the time I hear the beeping of the buttons from the keypad on the door, signaling Chan’s arrival as I got up from my spot on the couch and made my way over to the front door, my heart softening at the thought.

A smile had crept on my face as the joy had also crept in my heart after feeling so empty all day. As soon as I got there, Chan has already taken off his shoes, and locked the door behind him. His curly hair tousled from the long day of work, only making him look that much more attractive.

He soon turned to face you and the smile that had made its way on your face, soon faded as your heart dropped in your chest after you were met with his emotionless eyes.

Even after such a long day he was usually pretty happy to see me

“Baby what’s wrong…?”

I asked him softly, his eyes turning away from me, still as emotionless as before as he tan his hand through his hair and made his way past me into the living room. Without even saying a single word, my heart had shattered into a million pieces.

“I have dinner ready! I made your favorite Channie!”

I chimed as I followed him from a distance into our shared room, still not receiving a single word in return.

Why in the hell is he being like this? I mean I know work is hard sometimes but I can’t remember a single day in the past 3 years where it has ever been THIS bad. I’ve never seen him this way in my entire life.

“If you’re not hungry, that’s okay if you’d like I can run a bubbl-“

“Wont you just shut the fuck up, please? I’m tired and I want to sleep.”

He snapped, causing me to stop dead in my tracks as we had finally made it to our bedroom, before I could even process another thought my heart absolutely crumbles like a pile of dirt, a pain shooting through my chest already feeling the lump begin to form in my throat.

He paused as well, a few moments later turning around to face me, and the regret had already coated his face and filled his eyes, beginning to walk towards me to apologize, but I held my hand out for him to stop.

“Y/n-“

“No Chan. I’m… completely fine. I understand that you have had a long day… I just need a little bit of time for myself… and I think that you should too… I’m gonna go for a walk… and um…”

I paused in the middle of my sentence, trying to find the right words to say, but my mind struggled as I tried to focus on not breaking down and sobbing, a few moments later regaining my train of thought.

“I just need to think about things for a little bit okay? And… I’ll give you some time to unwind and give you time for yourself. Okay?”

I gave him a soft smile, which I had to admit was kind of forced, but I knew that he probably needed it. I let out a deep breath to contain my tears and turned around and headed back out of the room.

I need to hurry up and get out of here before I turn into the biggest crybaby the world has ever seen.

I quickly made my way to the front door, pulling my coat over my body to protect my air from Seoul’s brutal chilly wind, along with my slippers before heading out of the door, and eventually out of the building.

It’s going to be okay Y/N… you… just got to learn not be such a sensitive crybaby all of the time. He’s just tired…

Chan’s POV:

Oh my god…

Why in the hell did I just say that? Why didn’t I stop myself? I don’t even… mean that I’ve just been overly stressed and… my god.

I then turned around, coming face to face with the small, now fragile girl in front of me, my heart breaking in half as the regret automatically filled within me.

“Y/n-“

I began to walk towards her, but she held her hand out for me to stop, which I had obeyed, sitting there trying to find the right words to say.

As she spoke I could feel my heart eventually breaking into a million more pieces, wanting yo just run and hug her but I have to respect her wishes… and her personal space.

I watched them walk out of the room, walking into the door frame myself as I watched them leave the apartment from here, feeling my heavy heart sinking down into my chest.

I can’t believe I let my stress get the better of me… it took her so long to trust me this much, and I’m afraid I just ruined it all.

I know that may seem dramatic. But Y/N is a very fragile person who has had… so many people hurt them in the past, and I promise them I would never become one of those people.

But I think I just did.

Y/N’s POV:

I looked down at the time on my phone, thinking for a few minutes and finally deciding I’ve been out here long enough, taking a deep sigh and getting up, beginning to make my way back to the apartment.

It’s been about an hour… and I’ve thought about plenty of things…

Chan would never do anything to purposely hurt me, and I know that. I think he just needs a break from work, but I know the chances of his company letting him do that are low to none. Chan is also a workaholic, and I don’t want to be controlling and restrict him.

But for the sake of his mental health, I think it’s the right thing to recommend he ask for a short break.

As soon as I had seen the regret in his eyes, I knew that he hadn’t actually meant it. He’s a good guy, and he’s helped me through so much of the shit that other people have caused me from my past. I shouldn’t be asking for anything more.

I had then arrived at the apartment building, walking inside and making my way up and down the hall to our specific room, taking a deep breath within before clicking in the code and pushing the door open.

I slowly opened up the door, peeking around to see if Chan was anywhere near. After seeing that he wasn’t, I made my way inside, shutting the door quietly behind me, feeling to warms snake their way around my waist, causing me to jump just slightly.

There they are. The butterflies.

“Y/N.”

He buried his head into the crook of my neck, feeling his hot breath against my skin as he let out a shivering sigh. He had been crying.

He then loosened his arms and turned me around so that we were now face to face, my eyes automatically meeting the tears that filled his own, a frown subconsciously growing on my lips.

“Baby what’s wro-“

“The dinner that you made was so so so good. And I’m so sorry… you didn’t deserve any of that. Work… is just… I’m so fucking tired and I don’t know what to do. I need to be there but I really don’t feel like it…”

He was practically sobbing, shaking his head as he buried it back into my shoulder, the ache in my chest returning as I wrapped my arms around him, a deep sigh escaping my lips as all the tension left my body.

This boy just doesn’t know when he’s reached his limits… it happens to the best of us.

“Baby, please don’t cry. I’m okay. And I know that you didn’t mean it, but look at me please.”

He waited for a few moments, sniffling s bit begote he listed his head to look at me, a smile growing on my lips as his bloodshot eyes had met mine.

“You need to ask for a few days off. It won’t hurt them I promise. Your mental health is important. And they need to understand that. Okay honey?”

I spoke softly, cupping his cheek with my hands as I wiped his test stained cheeks with my thumbs, a nod coming from him in return, nodding back at him in response.

“So, you liked my food eh? I told you I had made your favorite.”

I side eyed him as a smirk grew on my lips, causing him to roll his eyes playfully and shake his head.

“Yes, it was very very yummy.”

He wiped his eyes from the rest of his tears, feeling another ache signal from my chest at the sight of him crying, taking ahold of his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

“Where are we going baby?”

He questioned, following close behind me as we did. When we reached the bedroom, I placed him in front of the bed, sending a little smirk as I looked up at him before pushing him back onto the bed gently, his eyes widening.

“Oh?”

He smirked, raising his brow as he leaned back even more as I walked over to the bedside table shaking my head in disbelief as I pulled out the remote to the tv from the drawer.

“No, you dirty dog. We’re watching Nemo, so get your horny ass up so we can cuddle.”

He let out a sigh, causing a giggle to escape from mine as he shifted himself up into a higher spot on the bed, opening up his arms wide for me to climb in.

And I did exactly that, feeling all the tension leave my body.

finally back in the arms I belong in.

[scarlet-ancunin]

I'm so happy that your Ask Box is open again, and I hope your elbow feels better. <3

Maybe I want all three... Convincing a very stubborn Reader to go to sleep at reasonable hour because, I am kind of sleep deprived lately, haha ^^"

Mini fic time hehe

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

Telling Their S/o To Rest

Desire of the Endless

You and Desire been together long enough to know each others bad habits and unfortunately yours was currently becoming overwhelming.

You was lacking more and more sleep and it was a serious problem to desire seeing as it may lead you to not think rational or so.

So Desire finally approached you about it.

"You need to start sleeping better y/n its becoming irritating to see you wasting your sleep for tedious things"

You pout looking up at Desire "im not harming anyone and i do fine with little hours of sleep besides i have coffee to keep me going to"

"No i don't want to see you suffering in silence any longer understand"

You was suffering in silence with headaches and sometimes body aches.

Desire picked you up suddenly, you cling to them and closed your eyes opening them to see you was inside Desire chambers where they laid you down on the bed and placed your head on their chest. You could hear their heart beat steady and that steady thump slowly lulled you to sleep.

They said nothing while you rested but they made sure when you woke up next time you was way better and more focused so much so that you would ask Desire if they can do this until you have a normal sleep pattern again.

You both knew it was a lie you just wanted Desire close to you and they wouldn't have it any other way.

Dr. Ian Wright

Ian walked in on you once again on the computer working.

"You talk about me over working but at least i know when to go to sleep y/n this is becoming to much and i can tell your not really focusing at this point."

They noticed your sleeping schedule was screwed up worse then when they were troubleshooting Ziggy.

"Im fine beside all my work gets done on time plus i have my energy smoothie and such-"

"Love your look tired and your very stubborn what will it take to get you to finally get some sleep or at least go to bed at the same time i do?"

You wanted to ask Ian but you was to nervous to ask. "Um....can you....can you hold me?... maybe i can sleep better knowing your close to me" you said softly looking away and blushing deeply.

Ian chuckles "you could have just ask to cuddle Y/n i wouldn't have minded i love having you close to me."

So thats what you did, you hug Ian and rested your face at the crook of their neck their scent leading you to sleep immediately.

Ian promised to give you proper cuddles until death do you part.

Gren - Cowboy Bebop

You and Gren had a set system to help each other if they become to stubborn and right now you was being very stubborn about you sleeping habits and Gren wasn't having it.

Gren called you over one leg crossed over the other sitting at a table. You smile coming over and your eyes fall to their legs.

"Eyes up here love we need to talk about you and your sleeping habits."

You scoff "nothing is wrong with my sleeping patterns besides im awake now" you complained

"Yes you are up now but don't think i didn't notice you never performed today when you was supposed to ana told me you almost lost your balance and i know your heads been hurting because you ask one of the girls to give you something for your head pain so"

Gren raised a brow and you fold "okay i haven't had the best sleep but love i promise im trying.....okay im not really trying but im fine really"

"No dear im going to change my work hours so that me and you finish at the same time and ill make sure you get the proper rest"

You blush lightly. You would love it if Gren sleeps beside you again so you hoped Ana would agree.

Luckily for you she did and you was able to have Gren beside you kissing you softly and lovingly before watching you pull away turning around and smiling when they pulled you close to their chest resting their head against your own feeling you wrap your leg around one of theirs.

"Night baby" you said softly

"Good night sweetheart"

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

Taglist: @justaproudslytherpuff , @sherazyjade , @the-masked-scorpio , @sugakookieswithacupoftae16 , @happilydangerousworld , @harlekin6 , @supermegapauselouca

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Hi, hello, hola, and happy Stab Caesar Day! Tumblr ate my original draft because, um, I guess its hunger is horrible and insatiable? But here I am for take two. Thank you to @artsyunderstudy, @larkral, and @forabeatofadrum, who tagged me today and who continue to craft delightful things.

Updates on My Good Egg (Good morning, good night, good morning): My plan of posting Chapter 4 today ain't gonna happen. I updated the author's notes, but the next posting date is TBD. I need to focus on my health right now, and then I'll be travelling for a bit (March 24-April 7). But hey, if you've been meaning to read this one, now's a great time to catch up? 🤣

In the meanwhile, I'll share a snippet featuring several of my OCs, Baz's queer, chaotic uni friends. Behind the cut for mild spice. 🌶️

Bunce goes off with Simon so that she can pump the American bartender for information, and as soon as they’re out of earshot, Emma leans forward, her eyes glittering. “Well?”

“Well what.”

“I told Liu and Ramesh you got kidnapped,” Emma says, waving her hand dismissively, “and of course we’re all very worried and hope you’re doing okay and acclimating to regular life again, but have. You. Ridden. That.” 

Baz regrets downing a few rats before they left for the pub, because it means he has enough blood in him to blush. “We’ve been figuring out this kidnapping situation,” he says coolly. “It hasn’t left much time for carnal pursuits.” 

“Baz,” Liu says, aghast. “Why haven’t you fucked that nice himbo? He’s clearly gagging for it - he couldn’t stop staring at your arse in those jeans.” 

“Is he a himbo?” Ramesh says. He pulls out a pen and starts to doodle a triple Venn diagram on a napkin. “He seemed like more of a twunk to me. And he’s got a great bear belly.” 

“Ladies,” Emma says, her hands fluttering in mock-distress, “please don’t objectify that sweet boy before Baz gets to objectify him. Baz will eat his fill of the man-meat and then give us a report.” 

(Please put in the comments/tags if you think Simon Snow is a twunk, a himbo, or something else delightful. 🤣)

Hello tags and tagbacks: @whogaveyoupermission, @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, @captain-aralias, @fatalfangirl, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @whogaveyoupermission (THE EDGING CONTINUES), @raenestee, @ileadacharmedlife, @shrekgogurt, @hushed-chorus, @shemakesmeforget, @theimpossibledemon, @imagineacoolusername

More about the hiatus for My Good Egg:

(Warning for some hard stuff, Big Feelings, trauma recovery. Feel free to skip and just bask in Ides of March posts instead!)

Okay, so introspective life/writing blather here... I keep meaning to write a post, at some point, about some of the best practices that I follow when I am writing about material that is heavy, like in Baker boxer teacher grief or the Rosethorn girl universe.

A lot of stuff that works for me is probably self-evident: go slow, be gentle, ground yourself, talk to safe people, have a release valve, be able to walk away, offer yourself a lot of self-care and self-compassion, take care of the soft animal of your body. And don't feel like you have to put everything in - some of what you can write can just be for you, and it can be enough to have written it, and not include it in the finished product.

I honestly didn't expect Good morning, good night, good morning to get me where I live. It is, as I've always maintained, a dumb horny rom com (that somehow developed a plot and backstory and plot TWISTS and OCs but ANYWAY). But there was a line in Chapter 3 that kept rattling around in me:

“You were a kid,” Simon says, his voice low and angry. “You were just a kid.” 

This is not the first time I've been triggered by own fic (and probably won't be the last, LOL!), but this one did me a doozy. I've had to take a few steps back, and just focus on recovering from trauma that's been reactivated in my body. It is wild what the body remembers, and how it holds onto pain.

(There is, at the same time, other stuff happening with my family with grief and estrangement and just a whole mischegoss of hard feelings, so that adds another element into the mix.)

To circle back round to My Good Egg: I'm putting it to the side for now while I tend to my health and just recovering from the past few weeks. It's funny - I don't think it's a particularly angsty story or one that does a super deep dive into trauma, but I need to take some pieces off my plate right now, and this fic is one of them.

I will always keep writing - the WIP game has been a delightful brain refresher, and I have a very fun Six Sentence Sunday post that I'm already excited to share. But for now, My Good Egg is gonna have a li'l nap. When I come back to it, I think I'll switch over to writing the second draft in its entirety, and then posting the chapters weekly, whenever that happens. I'm not putting a timeline on it right now.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk making your way through this personal essay, if you've gotten this far. I am continually blown away and delighted by everyone who engages with the fic, and I am so excited to serve you up some treats in the future.

To end on a lighter note, here is an exchange with my spouse, the inestimable EarlobeGreyTea who continues to offer thoughtful and nuanced feedback on this fic, Exhibit A:

EarlobeGreyTea: Did they fuck in this chapter?

Me: No Me: And they didn't fuck in the previous chapter Me: It's the EROTIC Grope Fest. It doesn't have to have explicit sex (yet) EarlobeGreyTea: Yeah, I guess it isn't the Sloppy Fuck Fest

Love you all. ❤️❤️❤️

[aureliacetinn]

gerodi la forge differently designed

(image desiption

Gerodi la forge without vizor eyes unfocused going in slightly different direction, wearing his yellow uniform standing stoic but proud, the spectrum the vizor lets him see from (or should only read thread as to why I think that) it refracting of his face as the effects  surrounded him a lil like he being beamed up to a ship.)

Embrace the spectrum of blind/V.I eyes artists!, embrace the nuance of disabilities people!

Gerodi la forge is a complicated representation for the blind/chronic pain  community though probably more positive than most but still falling under the technology ruining the nuance of disability.

So I wanted to draw him and show a more accurate(imo) portrayal of his eyes without the visor to 1 cuz white clear eyes trope annoys me

2 to not want to hide blind person eyes as media often tends to do (minus sunglasses needed for blind actor due to sensitivities)

3 cuz they cause pain and so he should have them off more often.

to note a lot of what im going to say is written way better an documented better by janet jay a lot of my sources are from here amazing piece on gerodi you should read: https://www.janetjay.com/what-star-trek-got-wrong-about-geordis-disabilities/ also if you in blind community are fine with his eyes portrayed as more cataract, that’s valid too.

So gerodi la forge for me as a avid star trek fan was important, hey I can exist if he can he not been erased!  Buuuuuuuut,

 it did urk me that 1 he was kinda a lil nerdy creep trope that never got a gf which levar burton himself has called out as racism from the shows writers (sources at bottom of thread) id also argue ableism also and many able bodied people treat disabled people as sexless.

 but also that he never got to be disabled really, he suffered from chronic pain form the vizor but kept choosing to not take pain pills or treatment, which you know that’s some inner ableism right there I did to myself as a teen, and I kinda think gerodi reinforced it a lil in me,

“look where he is, he deals with the pain he never shows it”

Not a great message really, gerodi never is allowed to show the struggle they choose that the vizor existing was enough, and yes we got that amasing ep where he didn’t want to be fixed, but that would then be countered by never showing the struggle. Women at warp did a great ep where on disability karrisa mehr calling gerodi a disabled version of a “manic pixie dream girl” feels very apt.

Never allowed to complain just be quirky gerodi.

And on to the vizor

The vizor is complicated , it apparently let him  see much of the EM spectrum", ranging from simple heat and infrared through radio waves” now I personally am all for mobility aids that have cool attachments but it’s a delicate balance of unique features and fixing and or making them more powerful than able bodied colleague-cuz thats fixing, and I feel gerodi with how show wrote it and portrayed him it was a magic fix more than an aid, why I chose to only show the thermal spectrum in image, instead of how it apparently can see everything more than human eyes can anyway which yeh defeat aid purpose.

image of vizor silver sem ring over eye with gold lines across not fullyblcokign vision 0

and it gave him chronic pain, they choose this as a balancer, okay…but then never portrayed it just did to show how gerodi overcame his disabilities and gets on with it like a good soldier. So yeh im mixed on it. They made great use in ep when it was hacked by cardassians this is the cool thing you can do with mobility aids (unless you just destroy them, fuck you then) and that was interesting for the time, but um then in he insolence of office the ebook gerodi forced to have his vizor REMOVED so he can stay in star fleet as its now a security risk- NOT OKAy you could have just had a redesign or a arc of gerodi having to fight for it if you must but no , brain surgery remove this part of you!!

(gif desicription men seeing tea they drink is funky to show how gross what they did to gerodi waas)

so yeh my ending take is gerodi is complicated overall that’s still a positive over most disabled rep in sci-fi but many mistakes were made and some part of gerodi was harmful and picard sure as hell didn’t address that. They show his eyes now but its still the white cloudy trope and knowing its for awful reasons kidna ruins that. So I hope my art here just shows his potential and blind eyes diversity, but opens up discussions in not fixing and overcoming can be toxic and that

pain is part of a disability its part of the rep and it sucks

this is very important to remember when depicting disability that there’s nuance guys.

Thank you

Levar burton on gerodi: https://boundingintocomics.com/2021/12/15/star-trek-the-next-generation-star-levar-burton-says-geordi-laforge-never-finding-love-was-racist-those-white-men-who-wrote-the-show-had-an-unconscious-bias-that-was-on-display-to-me-and-to/