#my blog is 1 year old and I still don't know how to do it
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bookishbroadwayandblind · 6 months ago
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My Top Five Cosmere Characters!
Renarin. There's just something so profoundly relateable about him! Maybe it's the fact that disability is so extremely difficult to deal with and yet no one seems to notice your inner struggle because no one understands... maybe it's the fact that Dalinar still pretends he does not exist and Renarin's struggle to reckon with that is so poignant... but I just adore him and would die for him tbh! Also can we please see more interactions between him and Hoid? Thanks.
2. Lightsong. The idea of a god who does not believe in his own religion has always been so very fascinating to me! He's funny, he's insightful, and his arc is unbelievable. Love this dude. Also someone made a parody on 17th Shard about him to the tune of "Gaston" and it is everything to me.
3. Tress. I am absolutely the type of person who would rather curl up with a book than undergo a daring adventure, and yet Tress's bravery and ingenuity have always been astounding to me! She is the Buttercup of our generation and I love her for that.
5. Kaladin. I have to include him. He is the OG fave, the beginning of my love for Cosmere. To see someone struggle with the continuous drain of depression while finding it in himself to care and to hope is so beautiful. I also just love keeping a running smile count throughout the series. Plus, he has some pretty iconic lines and I like occasionally laughing at him for his endearing obliviousness.
5. Lift. Yes, I know this list is heavily Stormlight-skewed, but it was my first exposure to the Cosmere, and Lift is just the best! I love seeing her interactions with Szeth, Wyndle, and just everyone else! Her Peter Pan complex is also very real... wishing her the best in her impending teenage crisis!
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yeoldenews · 9 months ago
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A Guide to Historically Accurate Regency-Era Names
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I recently received a message from a historical romance writer asking if I knew any good resources for finding historically accurate Regency-era names for their characters.
Not knowing any off the top of my head, I dug around online a bit and found there really isn’t much out there. The vast majority of search results were Buzzfeed-style listicles which range from accurate-adjacent to really, really, really bad.
I did find a few blog posts with fairly decent name lists, but noticed that even these have very little indication as to each name’s relative popularity as those statistical breakdowns really don't exist.
I began writing up a response with this information, but then I (being a research addict who was currently snowed in after a blizzard) thought hey - if there aren’t any good resources out there why not make one myself?
As I lacked any compiled data to work from, I had to do my own data wrangling on this project. Due to this fact, I limited the scope to what I thought would be the most useful for writers who focus on this era, namely - people of a marriageable age living in the wealthiest areas of London.
So with this in mind - I went through period records and compiled the names of 25,000 couples who were married in the City of Westminster (which includes Mayfair, St. James and Hyde Park) between 1804 to 1821.
So let’s see what all that data tells us…
To begin - I think it’s hard for us in the modern world with our wide and varied abundance of first names to conceive of just how POPULAR popular names of the past were.
If you were to take a modern sample of 25-year-old (born in 1998) American women, the most common name would be Emily with 1.35% of the total population. If you were to add the next four most popular names (Hannah, Samantha, Sarah and Ashley) these top five names would bring you to 5.5% of the total population. (source: Social Security Administration)
If you were to do the same survey in Regency London - the most common name would be Mary with 19.2% of the population. Add the next four most popular names (Elizabeth, Ann, Sarah and Jane) and with just 5 names you would have covered 62% of all women.
To hit 62% of the population in the modern survey it would take the top 400 names.
The top five Regency men’s names (John, William, Thomas, James and George) have nearly identical statistics as the women’s names.
I struggled for the better part of a week with how to present my findings, as a big list in alphabetical order really fails to get across the popularity factor and also isn’t the most tumblr-compatible format. And then my YouTube homepage recommended a random video of someone ranking all the books they’d read last year - and so I present…
The Regency Name Popularity Tier List
The Tiers
S+ - 10% of the population or greater. There is no modern equivalent to this level of popularity. 52% of the population had one of these 7 names.
S - 2-10%. There is still no modern equivalent to this level of popularity. Names in this percentage range in the past have included Mary and William in the 1880s and Jennifer in the late 1970s (topped out at 4%).
A - 1-2%. The top five modern names usually fall in this range. Kids with these names would probably include their last initial in class to avoid confusion. (1998 examples: Emily, Sarah, Ashley, Michael, Christopher, Brandon.)
B - .3-1%. Very common names. Would fall in the top 50 modern names. You would most likely know at least 1 person with these names. (1998 examples: Jessica, Megan, Allison, Justin, Ryan, Eric)
C - .17-.3%. Common names. Would fall in the modern top 100. You would probably know someone with these names, or at least know of them. (1998 examples: Chloe, Grace, Vanessa, Sean, Spencer, Seth)
D - .06-.17%. Less common names. In the modern top 250. You may not personally know someone with these names, but you’re aware of them. (1998 examples: Faith, Cassidy, Summer, Griffin, Dustin, Colby)
E - .02-.06%. Uncommon names. You’re aware these are names, but they are not common. Unusual enough they may be remarked upon. (1998 examples: Calista, Skye, Precious, Fabian, Justice, Lorenzo)
F - .01-.02%. Rare names. You may have heard of these names, but you probably don’t know anyone with one. Extremely unusual, and would likely be remarked upon. (1998 examples: Emerald, Lourdes, Serenity, Dario, Tavian, Adonis)
G - Very rare names. There are only a handful of people with these names in the entire country. You’ve never met anyone with this name.
H - Virtually non-existent. Names that theoretically could have existed in the Regency period (their original source pre-dates the early 19th century) but I found fewer than five (and often no) period examples of them being used in Regency England. (Example names taken from romance novels and online Regency name lists.)
Just to once again reinforce how POPULAR popular names were before we get to the tier lists - statistically, in a ballroom of 100 people in Regency London: 80 would have names from tiers S+/S. An additional 15 people would have names from tiers A/B and C. 4 of the remaining 5 would have names from D/E. Only one would have a name from below tier E.
Women's Names
S+ Mary, Elizabeth, Ann, Sarah      
S - Jane, Mary Ann+, Hannah, Susannah, Margaret, Catherine, Martha, Charlotte, Maria
A - Frances, Harriet, Sophia, Eleanor, Rebecca
B - Alice, Amelia, Bridget~, Caroline, Eliza, Esther, Isabella, Louisa, Lucy, Lydia, Phoebe, Rachel, Susan
C - Ellen, Fanny*, Grace, Henrietta, Hester, Jemima, Matilda, Priscilla
D - Abigail, Agnes, Amy, Augusta, Barbara, Betsy*, Betty*, Cecilia, Christiana, Clarissa, Deborah, Diana, Dinah, Dorothy, Emily, Emma, Georgiana, Helen, Janet^, Joanna, Johanna, Judith, Julia, Kezia, Kitty*, Letitia, Nancy*, Ruth, Winifred>
E - Arabella, Celia, Charity, Clara, Cordelia, Dorcas, Eve, Georgina, Honor, Honora, Jennet^, Jessie*^, Joan, Joyce, Juliana, Juliet, Lavinia, Leah, Margery, Marian, Marianne, Marie, Mercy, Miriam, Naomi, Patience, Penelope, Philadelphia, Phillis, Prudence, Rhoda, Rosanna, Rose, Rosetta, Rosina, Sabina, Selina, Sylvia, Theodosia, Theresa
F - (selected) Alicia, Bethia, Euphemia, Frederica, Helena, Leonora, Mariana, Millicent, Mirah, Olivia, Philippa, Rosamund, Sybella, Tabitha, Temperance, Theophila, Thomasin, Tryphena, Ursula, Virtue, Wilhelmina
G - (selected) Adelaide, Alethia, Angelina, Cassandra, Cherry, Constance, Delilah, Dorinda, Drusilla, Eva, Happy, Jessica, Josephine, Laura, Minerva, Octavia, Parthenia, Theodora, Violet, Zipporah
H - Alberta, Alexandra, Amber, Ashley, Calliope, Calpurnia, Chloe, Cressida, Cynthia, Daisy, Daphne, Elaine, Eloise, Estella, Lilian, Lilias, Francesca, Gabriella, Genevieve, Gwendoline, Hermione, Hyacinth, Inez, Iris, Kathleen, Madeline, Maude, Melody, Portia, Seabright, Seraphina, Sienna, Verity
Men's Names
S+ John, William, Thomas
S - James, George, Joseph, Richard, Robert, Charles, Henry, Edward, Samuel
A - Benjamin, (Mother’s/Grandmother’s maiden name used as first name)#
B - Alexander^, Andrew, Daniel, David>, Edmund, Francis, Frederick, Isaac, Matthew, Michael, Patrick~, Peter, Philip, Stephen, Timothy
C - Abraham, Anthony, Christopher, Hugh>, Jeremiah, Jonathan, Nathaniel, Walter
D - Adam, Arthur, Bartholomew, Cornelius, Dennis, Evan>, Jacob, Job, Josiah, Joshua, Lawrence, Lewis, Luke, Mark, Martin, Moses, Nicholas, Owen>, Paul, Ralph, Simon
E - Aaron, Alfred, Allen, Ambrose, Amos, Archibald, Augustin, Augustus, Barnard, Barney, Bernard, Bryan, Caleb, Christian, Clement, Colin, Duncan^, Ebenezer, Edwin, Emanuel, Felix, Gabriel, Gerard, Gilbert, Giles, Griffith, Harry*, Herbert, Humphrey, Israel, Jabez, Jesse, Joel, Jonas, Lancelot, Matthias, Maurice, Miles, Oliver, Rees, Reuben, Roger, Rowland, Solomon, Theophilus, Valentine, Zachariah
F - (selected) Abel, Barnabus, Benedict, Connor, Elijah, Ernest, Gideon, Godfrey, Gregory, Hector, Horace, Horatio, Isaiah, Jasper, Levi, Marmaduke, Noah, Percival, Shadrach, Vincent
G - (selected) Albion, Darius, Christmas, Cleophas, Enoch, Ethelbert, Gavin, Griffin, Hercules, Hugo, Innocent, Justin, Maximilian, Methuselah, Peregrine, Phineas, Roland, Sebastian, Sylvester, Theodore, Titus, Zephaniah
H - Albinus, Americus, Cassian, Dominic, Eric, Milo, Rollo, Trevor, Tristan, Waldo, Xavier
# Men were sometimes given a family surname (most often their mother's or grandmother's maiden name) as their first name - the most famous example of this being Fitzwilliam Darcy. If you were to combine all surname-based first names as a single 'name' this is where the practice would rank.
*Rank as a given name, not a nickname
+If you count Mary Ann as a separate name from Mary - Mary would remain in S+ even without the Mary Anns included
~Primarily used by people of Irish descent
^Primarily used by people of Scottish descent
>Primarily used by people of Welsh descent
I was going to continue on and write about why Regency-era first names were so uniform, discuss historically accurate surnames, nicknames, and include a little guide to finding 'unique' names that are still historically accurate - but this post is already very, very long, so that will have to wait for a later date.
If anyone has any questions/comments/clarifications in the meantime feel free to message me.
Methodology notes: All data is from marriage records covering six parishes in the City of Westminster between 1804 and 1821. The total sample size was 50,950 individuals.
I chose marriage records rather than births/baptisms as I wanted to focus on individuals who were adults during the Regency era rather than newborns. I think many people make the mistake when researching historical names by using baby name data for the year their story takes place rather than 20 to 30 years prior, and I wanted to avoid that. If you are writing a story that takes place in 1930 you don’t want to research the top names for 1930, you need to be looking at 1910 or earlier if you are naming adult characters.
I combined (for my own sanity) names that are pronounced identically but have minor spelling differences: i.e. the data for Catherine also includes Catharines and Katherines, Susannah includes Susannas, Phoebe includes Phebes, etc.
The compound 'Mother's/Grandmother's maiden name used as first name' designation is an educated guesstimate based on what I recognized as known surnames, as I do not hate myself enough to go through 25,000+ individuals and confirm their mother's maiden names. So if the tally includes any individuals who just happened to be named Fitzroy/Hastings/Townsend/etc. because their parents liked the sound of it and not due to any familial relations - my bad.
I did a small comparative survey of 5,000 individuals in several rural communities in Rutland and Staffordshire (chosen because they had the cleanest data I could find and I was lazy) to see if there were any significant differences between urban and rural naming practices and found the results to be very similar. The most noticeable difference I observed was that the S+ tier names were even MORE popular in rural areas than in London. In Rutland between 1810 and 1820 Elizabeths comprised 21.4% of all brides vs. 15.3% in the London survey. All other S+ names also saw increases of between 1% and 6%. I also observed that the rural communities I surveyed saw a small, but noticeable and fairly consistent, increase in the use of names with Biblical origins.
Sources of the records I used for my survey: 
Ancestry.com. England & Wales Marriages, 1538-1988 [database on-line].
Ancestry.com. Westminster, London, England, Church of England Marriages and Banns, 1754-1935 [database on-line].
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penkura · 17 days ago
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where you belong [4/10]
Summary: As Luffy's big sister, you've viewed it to be your job to see him become King of the Pirates in place of your absent parents, even as you try to find where it is you belong in the world. You never really expected to draw the attention of Trafalgar Law in the process.
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!reader
Warnings: Discussion of feelings of abandonment, age gap relationship (four years), brief secret relationship, mentions and heavy refences to sex, mentions of alcohol, typical One Piece stuff. Other warnings to be added if needed.
Note: This chapter has heavy references to sex, but nothing explicit. I'm an old maid, I don't have that experience yet. :') Also its 9k words, I'm so sorry, but I hope it sustains you all until chapter 5 is done lol.
Taglist:
@pinksaiyans | @sukunas-play-thing | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog | @mineymak | @valen-yamyam16 | @shimmerxc | @luffy0s | @fluffybunnyu | @laws-wife-things | @crmnic | @eyes-ofhell | @hopelesslover06 | @nyfwyeonjun | @extremely-ashtridic | @idk67876 | @mysweetmagicworld | @lorelexi-main | @pandabiene5115 | @shakysif | @bern87 | @nymeriiiia | @arcanumlaw | @sp1ng | @birdie-24-05 | @bi-narystars | @mars-mizuko | @tojirin
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[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3]
“You know,” Law can’t help the slight smile that makes it’s way onto his face when you look at him mid-bite but he does think it’s cute, “I thought you had feelings for Penguin for a while.”
You laugh after you swallow the bite of food you have, shaking your head but still smiling. The two of you decide to stay on the ship for the night, you’ll go into town tomorrow for a lunch date, but for tonight, you’ll just share some leftovers in the kitchen and sit close together. Every now and then you both place a kiss on the other’s cheek, it makes you giggle when Law does it, his goatee scratching your face a little, but you like it.
You like him, he already means so much to you, and you can already tell he feels the same way with you.
“No, no, definitely not. I think of him more like a big brother, really.”
“I’m sure he’ll be heartbroken to hear that.”
“Oh yeah,” you roll your eyes a little but still smile, “One of the two people who knew about my feelings for you is going to be so heartbroken that I think of him as a brother.”
“He’ll be devastated, I’m sure.”
You both laugh a bit, knowing that Penguin would absolutely play along if you brought it up, his acting skills on display if needed. He will be happy for the two of you when he hears, but it's fun to think of different reactions from his crewmates, you’ve been thinking about Luffy’s reaction since you realized your feelings for Law. You know he’ll be ecstatic, though he’s probably going to ask you to stay with the Straw Hats, at least for now. You don’t mind it, you’re sure Law will be fine with it.
The current plan is to drop you in Sabaody in a few months anyway, you’ll be separated for a while. At least you have transponder snails, you’ll be able to keep in contact that way easily. Less likely for letters to be intercepted and read in advance by Nami once she finds out.
“How long do you want to wait to tell your crew?”
Law shrugs, he hasn’t thought that far ahead about all this yet. He knows it’s going to happen, they’re going to find out somehow, maybe even by accident knowing them.
“A while, I’m not sure. I…I haven’t done this before…”
“…I haven’t either. Luffy and Ace would chase off any boys I liked, or any that they thought liked me…so I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
“I see,” Nodding, Law leans over and kisses your cheek again, making you giggle while he smiles, “We’ll figure this all out together then.”
“Yeah…together.”
Even when the rest of the Heart Pirates come back later that night, you and Law spend your time together, making sure at least that those who haven’t noticed your feelings for each other don’t find things out right away. You’re not ready for that, but you’ve both agreed to let Ikkaku and Penguin know, just for sanity’s sake and not having to sneak around everyone.
The rest of your evening is spent in his office after you’ve finished dinner, talking and making plans for the next day together, plans for after you go back to the Straw Hats if this sticks. You hope it does, Law does too, neither of you wants this to fall apart even if it’s just starting. Law takes you back to your room again, as he always does now, it’s become your favorite part of your evenings. If any of his crewmates come around the corner the two of you separate just enough that it doesn’t look weird, still talking until the other person is out of sight and you move back beside each other.
You’re sure that if he keeps walking you and kisses you before he leaves these times are going to be your favorite from now on. Practically none of the other guys come down towards your and Ikkaku’s room, giving you and Law enough time to enjoy each other before he says he needs to go, he’s got things to do before your (real) date the next day.
“Lunch tomorrow right?”
“Right.”
You nod with a grin, before leaning up to kiss Law again, which he gladly accepts and returns.
“See you in the morning then, Law.”
“You too,” Law gives you a smile and kiss on the forehead before he turns to leave, “I promise I’ll come get you this time.”
You fight not to laugh but nod, still smiling as you go into your room, all giddy and happy. Ikkaku is asleep so you won’t bother her, but once you get into bed, you’re trying not to squeal even though you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you fall asleep. Law does the same, even though he has no one else around him at the time. Its another night he sleeps easily, only because of you he believes. He has hopes this will be good, that you won’t leave him, and he won’t leave you even when he drops you off in Sabaody. He wants this to last, you both do, and it feels like it will.
Neither of you plans to give up on this easily.
+!+
Your first date off the Polar Tang is a success to both you and Law, he feels relieved after it’s over though, but he’s not opposed to another one of course. The rest of his crew goes about their business on the ship, leaving you and Law to slip off without anyone else noticing, Ikkaku and Penguin promise to keep everyone busy so you won’t be found out and you can enjoy yourselves.
You start off at a small café for lunch, laughing when the waitress suggests a sandwich to Law who nearly recoils at the thought of bread but just orders a salad instead.
“Stop laughing, you dork.”
“Your aversion to bread is so funny though, I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like it!”
“Yeah well,” Law looks away as he takes a drink, cheeks just the slightest bit pink out of embarrassment, “I’ve never liked the stuff, ever since I was a kid. I’m sure there’s something you don’t like.”
You stop to think, as your food is brought to you, the waitress had been able to convince you to get the sandwich they were offering, as you look at Law’s lunch once it’s set down.
“Radishes.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t like radishes,” Nodding, you shrug a little, “Never have, I don’t like how strong they can taste.”
“Guess I’ll take your radishes and you take my bread.”
You grin and agree, the rest of your lunch spent in comfortable conversation, nothing feels awkward or weird, not after the night before. Law hopes you don’t ever find him passed out in his office again, though knowing the anxiety he can have, it may happen again. He's grateful you’re so understanding and willing to help him navigate this new territory.
But it’s also new for you, so you’re glad to learn alongside him.
Once you’re done with lunch, neither of you are ready to go back to the Polar Tang, so you take off to look at different shops through the town. Of course you find a bookstore, both of you excited to go in, though Law less obvious about it, you drag him inside and start to look at everything available. While you end up looking at the different books on poisons, Law ends up picking out a medical book almost immediately, before being drawn to the novels and comics, where you end up finding him several minutes later, lost in thought.
You just watch him, he looks like he’s thinking through which volumes of Sora Warrior of the Sea he has, to see if he needs any that are on the shelf in front of him. It makes you smile, he's so feared by so many so people simply because he’s pirate captain, but this side of him makes Law so cute to you, he keeps it to himself most of the time, but when you see it, you can’t help it.
He really is a good guy.
Law picks a book up off the shelf to read the back as you come over, pressing yourself again his side to try and rea it yourself.
“Find one you need?”
“Maybe…I don’t think I’ve read this one before.”
You hum and look at the cover yourself, reading the synopsis before Law puts his arm around your shoulders and brings you closer to him. It doesn’t surprise you that much, but it makes you smile. Despite how he looks to some people, you know Law is much nicer than anyone could ever expect, especially when he starts to explain the plot of this volume while you just listen and in turn wrap your free arm around his waist as Law decides he'll get this book too, asking if you found what you need before he goes to purchase his items.
“Yeah, I think I found everything I was looking for.”
~~
The two of you walk back to the Polar Tang while chatting lightly, Law trying to explain the full plot of Sora to you, which makes you laugh as you ask questions and he looks almost annoyed like it’s something he just explained but you weren’t listening.
It's not your fault he looks so happy as he goes off about his favorite series, the bright look in his eyes and slight smirk he has, he’s just so handsome when he’s happy.
“…maybe you should just read it.”
“If you let me borrow your copy I will!”
Law nods, thinking that’s definitely a better idea than him having to try and explain it. He’ll have to get you the first volume later so you can start it, see something he’s liked ever since he was a child. Maybe you’ll enjoy it too and he can have someone to talk about it with again.
As you approach the Polar Tang, you take Law’s hand in yours, he pulls you a little closer to kiss your head in return. You aren’t ready to go back yet, to have to pretend nothing is going on, but you’re willing to deal with it for now, just for Law. He might be older than you, but you understand he isn’t in the mood to be teased by his crewmates about his first relationship, so you can accept this situation. At the very least, Ikkaku and Penguin know, you think Bepo has his suspicions after you ran to get him when Law had passed out, but none of his other crewmates seem to suspect a thing yet.
“I wish we had more time today…”
“We don’t have to go back in immediately,” Law shrugs while you look up at him confused, making him smile softly, “We could, you know, stay on deck for a while…if you want, I guess.”
That suggestion causes you to smile back, nodding and dragging Law back to the ship, settling both of you in a good spot so you can talk and watch the sunset, maybe stay long enough to see the stars. He knows being in a submarine is completely different from what you were use to with the Sunny, so Law doesn’t mind staying outside for a while longer with you, he’s more than happy to do so, especially when you lean against his shoulder and continue to hold his hand.
“I think today was a good second-first date.”
“Oh is that what we’re going to call it then?”
Nodding, you hum before kissing his cheek, leading Law to press another to your temple.
“We’ll definitely have another date sometime.”
“Good to hear.”
You’re excited to see where things go with Law now that you’ve had this real first date, and when you tell Ikkaku everything later that night, she starts betting you and Law will be married in no time at all, which makes your face heat up at the thought. She’s joking of course, even as she says you’ll have four kids, but even you start thinking about what that could be like one day, though you never tell anyone else about it. It’s far too early to be thinking about such a thing, but Ikkaku’s insistence that she’s correct makes you laugh in the end.
You end up sleeping better than night that you have in a while, and Law does the same, after relaying the date to Penguin who is happy for his captain and proud he took that step with you. All of the Heart Pirates want Law to he happy, and if that means he’s with you, Penguin knows the rest of them will approve when you two decide to tell everyone about your relationship.
This family Law found will be happy for him, just as you know Luffy and the other Straw Hats will be for you.
+!+
“Have you heard of the Will of D?”
“Hmm?”
You’re laying across Law’s lap in his bed one evening while reading a book, him doing the same, before he asks such a seemingly random question. He’d been running his fingers through your hair (carefully, nervously, you’re both still getting used to this) and you thought he’d been so focused on his book, but it seems he has something on his mind instead.
You wrack your brain a bit, knowing it sounds familiar but at first, you’re not sure why until it hits you. Nodding, you close your own book and sit up beside him.
“Robin mentioned it once…she asked if Luffy and I knew anything about it.”
“Do you?”
When you shake your head, Law sighs a bit but nods, pulling you against his side gently to have you lay your head on his shoulder.
“Sorry I’m no help there.”
“No, don’t be,” Law waves off your apology, kissing the top of your head as you hum, “I was just wondering.”
You both return to your books for a while, you trying to focus but keep thinking about what Law asked. You know that you have no information for him about the Will of D, you only know it's something Robin has brought up; you, Luffy, Garp and Dragon have the D in your names, you’ve seen others have it as well, but that’s the extent of your knowledge. You’ve never really been interested in learning the meaning, even with Robin questioning you and Luffy, Garp never had an answer either if you asked him, not a real one. He just said it was like a middle name, nothing for you to worry yourself about. You were too young to argue with him, or maybe it was just that you respected him too much to do so, but it never set right with you. You wanted to know, why you saw that letter on wanted posters too.
Sometimes you wonder if it would give you more information about who you are.
“…what do you know about it, Law?”
He’s not sure if you want to know the very little he does, but since it’s brought up to you before, and you both share that letter, though he hasn’t told you yet, it might not be a bad thing. Sharing what he knows might give you something to look at yourself, maybe even the next time you see Garp he could give you real answers. You aren’t a child anymore, you deserve to know anything that could help you find yourself and where you belong in this world.
“Enemies of the gods.”
“…what?”
“That’s what Cora-san said once,” Law shrugs while you start to think, “I don’t think he knew anymore than that, really…”
“…I don’t really like that thought, being an enemy of the gods.”
“Don’t dwell on it, I’m not sure what he meant by it.”
You end up nodding, turning your attention back to your book but not really reading it anymore. You don’t understand why having a D in your name is so important in this world, what it would mean for you, Luffy, your grandpa, really anyone with it, it’s so strange. If Dragon were around, maybe he would know something. Maybe he does but you can’t get any kind of answer from him since he’s never around. Garp probably still wouldn’t answer you, he’d tell you it’s nothing for you to worry about still, even though you’re all grown up and now want to know since Law brought it up.
The world you live in is a strange place after all.
“I have it too.”
“Huh?”
“A D in my name, I have it too.”
Honestly you’re not completely surprised, but just a little shocked to hear that. You know there are several people with the D in their name, you just didn’t expect Law to be one of them.
“So—”
“Trafalgar D. Water Law. That’s my full name.”
You don’t say anything about it, not for a while. Honestly Law starts to wonder if you’re upset he never told you, when you’d given him your full name the first time you really met. He'd kept his name secret for so long, it only felt natural to do so back then too, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust you.
Well, when you met it was, even after he learned you were Luffy’s sister, he hadn’t planned for you to join his crew for two years, or to develop feelings and a relationship with you. You were a stranger that simply was related to another pirate captain and had a D in their name, why should he have revealed it back then? The two of you weren’t close at all, so he’s hoping you understand that since neither of you really knows much, not telling you his full name at the time was a safety measure. It wasn’t anything personal.
“I wonder if we’ll ever find out why we have this letter, and why it seems like no one knows anything.”
To say he’s relieved you’re not upset with him is an understatement, leading Law to sigh a bit before nodding in agreement. He wants to know too now, more than he has before, to understand why this Will of D is so important to the World Government especially, that there’s so little information on it.
He wants to find out for you too now.
~~
“Have I told you why I wanted to write a book?”
Shaking his head, Law glances up from his notebook to you, sitting across from him with your own book that you’ve kept every tiny note and detail about your crew’s adventures in hand, giving him a smile.
“Wanna know?”
“If you want me to.”
You roll your eyes as bit, finishing a line in your book before setting your pen down to rest your chin in your hand.
“My other brother, Sabo, wanted to write a book about our pirating adventures for kids. I wasn’t really into writing back then, I thought it was boring but I did like reading,” sighing you lean back against your chair as Law stops his own note taking to watch you, “After he…after he died, I decided I’d take up his dream. It’s not going to be only for kids though, I want everyone to read how Luffy becomes King of the Pirates.”
“Hmm, I see.”
“…do you think it’s silly? To take up Sabo’s dream like that?”
Law wonders if people have laughed at you for taking your brother’s dream on yourself. You’ve told him how you’d lost Sabo, thanks to a Celestial Dragon, and how it affected you, Luffy, and Ace as you continued to make your plans to leave and become Pirates. You’ve always kept him in your mind, especially when you’ve gone to make your notes and write whatever needed to be done next, Law's even read your writing more recently to help you proof it.
You have a talent for writing and detail, even he’s gotten tucked into your unpublished work and wants to know what’s next. It's like he’s anxiously waiting for the next Sora novel, except his girlfriend is the author and he wants to see what’s next for a rival instead. It’s how he learned more about the way you all helped free Alabasta, your adventure in Skypiea, Luffy’s declaration of war against the World Government at Enies Lobby, the zombies you fought on Thriller Bark, and when you arrived in Sabaody. He wants to see how that moment you two first locked eyes was for you, but he doesn’t expect that in this book. It’s not important to Luffy’s story, so you’ll probably leave it out, he thinks.
He does hope you’ll send him copies once you’ve gone back to the Straw Hats, he wants to keep reading the story and stay up to date with you.
“It’s not silly at all,” Law smiles when you look at him with relief in your eyes, your own smile making it’s way to your face, “Taking on someone’s dream like that takes a lot of strength and courage, I think. I’m sure your brother is happy.”
“I hope so…”
“Makes me wish I had known what Lami’s dream was…so I could make it happen for her.”
It makes you feel a little bad to hear that, but you know Law isn’t trying to garner sympathy, like when he’d told you his life story. He didn’t get the time he deserved to have with Lami as her big brother, she didn’t have the chance to grow up and live out her own dreams and desires.
If he knew what they would’ve been, you know Law would be fighting to make it happen, like you with taking on Sabo’s dream.
“I bet she would’ve wanted you to be happy, Law.”
“…I would’ve wanted the same for her.”
Twenty more hearts…
Just a little more before Law will feel better about sending you back to your brother and crew, knowing he could extend Warlord protections onto you at least.
Just a bit longer before his plans can really be enacted.
+!+
You make a realization one day a few months later.
It happens while you watch Law work as you try to do the same, but somehow he’s distracting you just by being there. Not in a bad way though, it’s not like how Luffy and Ace would distract you when you were younger. It’s more of you simply letting your eyes and mind wander towards him, even when you should be working yourself, you just can’t help it.
The last couple months have been more than you ever would’ve expected. It may be your first relationship, and Law’s too, but you’ve both enjoyed every bit of time you’ve spent together. There have been a few close calls with your relationship almost being exposed to the rest of the crew, but no one has said anything to you or Law about it. You’ve done well to keep it secret, only Ikkaku and Penguin know everything.
You’ve felt nothing but safe and happy with Law, before you ever started dating, but now you feel it more and he’s told you how he wants to keep you safe, no matter what happens. You feel the same, it doesn’t matter that Law is older or stronger than you, he deserves to feel safe and loved too.
It's right before your birthday, and the Heart Pirates planned party to celebrate Law becoming a warlord at the same time, that you decide you know exactly what it is you’ve been feeling lately. Watching Law, enjoying the quiet moments, learning a little more about each other every day, you’ve come to realize you love him.
Everything you’ve come to know about Law and his life, how he’s treated you and his crew, the way he’s made space for you in his room and office, allowing you to stay as long as you need, it's brought you even closer to him and caused you to notice how strong your feelings for him have become.
You love Law and you have every intention of telling him that tonight, even after you both slip away from the party his crew threw together. Penguin notices, pointing it out to Ikkaku, and they both work to make sure the rest of the crew doesn’t notice or suspect anything. They’ve done their best to keep your situation a secret, you two can have all the privacy and time you need before you’re ready to tell anyone else.
Once you’re back to his room, after Law has given you your gift (a new notebook for your writings and your own copy of the first few volumes of Sora), you can’t help but to kiss him almost nonstop, leading Law to pull you into his lap as he kisses you back before you decide something.
“Wait, stop.”
When you put your hand on the one he has just under your shirt, Law thinks he’s moved too fast for you, that you aren’t ready for anything more than kissing and dating, that’s fine if so, but he starts to get anxious that he’s screwed everything up. He didn’t mean to, he wanted to make your birthday special, but only if you’re comfortable. If you aren’t, he’ll apologize and make it right however you want. He doesn’t want to ruin what you have right now, taking that next step in your relationship can wait if you’re not ready for anything more.
“Sorry, was that too fast? I didn’t—”
“No, Law, relax,” you giggle a bit seeing how flustered he looks, before continuing, “I just…I need to tell you something first.”
Now he’s more concerned and thinking he’s definitely done something wrong. You seem nervous about whatever it is you have to say, looking like you’re thinking about it. The silence is making Law more anxious as seconds go by, it feels so much longer. He tightens his arms around your waist just a bit to try and coax the words out, which makes you sigh, arms still around his neck, a soft smile on your face.
“…I love you, Law.”
“You…you what?”
You’re not worried that he didn’t say it back, or that he looks almost horrified at your confession, you know enough about Law to understand why, so you don’t feel like this was a mistake. You needed him to know, as soon as possible, you just had to get those words out to him, even though he’s looking more scared than you’ve ever seen and his hold on you is tighter than it’s ever been, you think.
It doesn’t matter though. You keep smiling at him while you kiss his cheek to try and calm down what you know are racing thoughts.
“I said I love you, Law…I just wanted you to know.”
He wants you to take it back, but he can’t seem to speak. With everything that’s happened in his life, you’ve said the three words he's been scared to hear come out of your mouth since you started your relationship.  What he’s dreaded happening ever since he agreed to be your boyfriend.
Not because he didn’t want this relationship, it’s not that he doesn’t want you, it’s that he’s now utterly terrified of what may come next.
The words you’ve said, your first ever love confession to Law has him near a panic once he realizes what you’ve done. You’ve said you love him, it’s only been a few months, how are you so sure?? Why did you have to say that, why did those words come out of your mouth, don’t you remember what’s happened to those who have said they love him?!
“Law.”
No, no, you’re not serious, that’s it. Maybe you’re tipsy or flat drunk, it’s your birthday and you’ve been drinking, that must be it. You don’t know what you’ve said and won’t remember in the morning, he's sure of it. It’s better you don’t remember, he’ll make himself forget this ever happened. You’re not in love with him already, you didn’t say those three words that haunt him with Corazon’s smile, or his mother’s perfume, his sister’s hugs, and his father’s laughter.
“Law, hey.”
It’s not real, none of this is real right now. He’s going to wake up and this won’t have happened at all. You can’t die, you can’t follow the footsteps of those who have loved him in the past. He can’t lose you too, he just can’t, not again. It won’t happen again, he won’t allow another precious person to be taken from him, not for the third time, please don’t die. Please don’t leave him like the others have.
“…you can’t die too…”
It breaks your heart to hear him say that, with shallow breaths that tell you he’s not okay and you need to do something, leading to you gently shushing him as his breathing picks up. You start to feel awful and know you’ve got to calm Law down before he goes into a full blown panic attack.
“Oh, Law, calm down. Breathe, honey,” Law doesn’t even notice he’s nearly hyperventilating until you place your hands on his face, bringing your forehead against his to try and calm him, “I’m not going anywhere, shh. It’s okay. I won’t die, Law.”
Oh, he must’ve been saying everything out loud, not in his head. He didn’t notice that either, it all must’ve come out so rushed he couldn’t stop from running his mouth with his fears and worries. He only realizes the tears in his eyes when you wipe them away, placing a kiss on his forehead before bringing his head to your chest, letting him wrap his arms around you as tightly as he can while he listens to your heartbeat. As he slowly starts to calm down, you run your fingers through his hair while he continues to hold you as close as he possibly can, it’s probably going to be a while before he lets you go.
“Law—”
“I,” his voice is strained from fighting not to cry but your shirt’s already damp from his tears even as he tries to choke them down, “I can’t lose you too…not you, please.”
You shush him again, kissing the top of his head this time before laying your forehead against his hair.
He feels a bit pathetic at the moment, if he were to be honest. Nearly twenty-six and clinging to his twenty-two year old girlfriend like a child does to their mother. If he were anyone else, Law would’ve pushed you away and tried to look more manly in front of you, but he knows you don’t want that and he doesn’t care to hide his feelings right now. You just wanted him to know, that’s what you said when you told him those words, it's why you say them again and brush your fingers through his hair once more.
“I won’t leave you, don’t worry. Even when I go back to Luffy and them, my heart is yours, Law.”
It’s an impossible thing to promise, that you won’t die and you’ll be safe after you return to the Straw Hats, but it’s enough for Law at the moment to calm him. He nods but continues to hold you close, face buried in your shirt while you stroke his hair and whisper your love and sweet nothings to him. He wonders if he should say it back, even though he’s not sure where his feelings are at this moment, but he still opens his mouth to speak.
“Stay with me tonight. Please.”
“Of course, Law. Whatever you need.”
“…I just need you.”
He’s not there yet, not where he can say the same words to you, but you don’t seem to mind. When you repeat them to him, over and over again, Law starts to believe that this time is different. Maybe this time, he won’t lose someone who loves him. Maybe he’ll be allowed to love you back, to have some happiness in his life for the first time in over a decade.
Maybe this time he’ll be able to return those words when he’s ready.
~~
The rest of the Heart Pirates know something must have happened the night before, after you and Law returned to the ship without them, since none of them see him for quite a while that next morning. Those who still don’t know your relationship think you two must’ve had a fight about something, while Ikkaku and Penguin, your confidants on the ship, have the full story from you when you bring both into your room after breakfast. You tell them not to expect to see Law much today, and when you finish explaining, Ikkaku gives you a sympathetic look while Penguin sighs and scratches his head.
“Damn, I never thought Captain would react like that…”
“Can you blame him?” Ikkaku makes an annoyed face at Penguin before turning back to you, “The last person to tell him that…”
“Was Corazon, and he died soon after.” You nod, the story is still fresh from when Law told you everything, so you do understand. You understand why he nearly had a full mental break down last night after you said ‘I love you’ to him, he hadn’t expected it and in his past experience, those words do not lead to positive outcomes. “I feel so bad about it…”
“Oh, no, no, you shouldn’t,” setting a hand on your shoulder, Penguin tries to reassure you as Ikkaku hugs you, “I think it just means Captain cares about you a lot more than he even realized, if his first thought was that he was going to lose you.”
“Penguin is right, Law definitely has strong feelings for you. He was probably just worried. He seems to think all he ever does is lose people…”
“He’s not going to lose me,” you grip the pillow in your lap tight for a moment before releasing it, “I love Law, and I’m going to prove it to him that he doesn’t just lose people who love him. He's still got all of you, right?”
They both nod as you sigh, moving to get up from your bed when Ikkaku asks where you’re going.
“I’m going to bring Law something to eat, he’s been in his room all morning.”
“He may not want anything…normally he’s good to just—”
“No, I’m gonna make sure he knows I’m here for him,” once you’re up with shoes on, you give the two a smile, “Let everyone know Law and I are fine, I’ll take care of him today.”
Penguin goes and lets everyone know it’s a day off, he tells them Law isn’t feeling well and to go do what they want, practically everyone leaving to go back to the island for shopping or relaxation. You, of course, stay aboard, starting to make something for you and Law to share for lunch, anyone still hanging around leaves you alone, knowing you’re taking care of things. Whatever might be wrong, because none of them believe Law is sick, you’ll make it okay.
You’re nearly done making the food when you see an arm come around your shoulders, the other around your waist, Law presses a soft kiss to the back of your head before putting his forehead on your shoulder.
“How are you—”
“I’m sorry about last night,” he’s quiet as he speaks, you shake your head before setting down the spoon you were using and turning around to take his face in your hands, “I just. I didn’t expect that and it freaked me out because I thought of my…my family and Cora-san, I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean you’re going to die, but I—”
“Shh, it’s okay,” You kiss him before hugging him properly, letting Law continue to hide his face in your shoulder, “I know I surprised you, but I really just wanted you to know that I love you.”
Taking a breath, Law still doesn’t like hearing that from you yet, but he nods, tightening his hold on you. The two of you stay like that for a while, you once again speak sweetly to him, making Law feel better but he still feels like he’d look like a child to anyone else if they saw this. Some people wouldn’t see an adult relationship but maybe think he's leaning too much on you, but you haven’t had any problems with that yet. It doesn’t fully make sense to him, why you haven’t pushed him away and said this is all too much, with the emotional baggage he has, he doesn’t understand it at all.
“I’m scared I’ll lose you too sometimes, you know,” Law pulls away enough to look at you, confused by what you mean at first, “You’re a Warlord now…I know it keeps the Navy off you, but other pirates will still come after you. I don’t want to lose another loved one.”
“You’re not gonna lose me.”
“Then you have to believe you won’t lose me either.”
He gets that and understands you didn’t tell him you love him because you were trying to scare him or anything like that. You really do just love him, Law knows he’s going to have it accept that even if someone tells him those words, it doesn’t mean they’re doomed immediately. It doesn’t mean he’ll lose them, precedence be damned, he’ll be the one to make sure nothing happens to you. He was too young, too small to protect Corazon or his family, but now that he's grown and stronger, he can at least protect you while you’re under his care.
“I’ll try.”
“That’s enough for me,” you give Law a smile that he slightly returns, before leaning up to kiss him briefly, “I love you.”
Although he’s not ready to say it back to you, Law nods before kissing your forehead and hugging you again, quietly thanking you. Its enough, you know it’ll take him some time to get to the same point, but that’s okay.
You’ll just keep loving Law, helping him where you can, to show him that he doesn’t only lose people he loves. He’s not going to lose you and you’re not going to lose him.
“You should probably eat something.”
“Yeah, probably,” Law watches you as you turn back to finish the lunch you were making, “Also…before I freaked out last night, we…are you okay...going further?”
For a moment you’re confused, before you see the light blush on his face and realize what Law means, your own face heating up when you quietly say ‘oh’ as you remember. Things got interrupted after you said you love him, and the two of you had settled to laying in his bed, his arms around you and face in your shirt while you just held Law close and calmed him.
After another minute or so, you just nod.
“Yeah I…I’m okay with that,” you can tell he’s relieved when Law sighs and nods, making you smile, “But another night. Right now we should eat!”
Law doesn’t really get how you’re able to change subjects so quickly but he is hungry so he’s not going to complain about it. Not when you’ve made one of his favorite meals and taken the time to make sure it’s perfect for both of you. You both enjoy your lunch together, and whenever another one of his crewmates comes by or returns to the ship from their time on the island, they all seem just as relieved to see Law is out of his office and doing well, he’s back to acting as a captain should later that day.
Everything is fine, and they all know you’re to thank for that. Every one of them, that doesn’t know yet, hopes that you and Law will come together one day, and they’ll all support you and their captain through everything.
+!+
When Law wakes with you in his bed after your first time together, he’s still not sure he believes it. He watches you sleep peacefully for several minutes, knowing you’re safe with him, that you chose to spend the night with him for the first time because you love and trust him.  Honestly he couldn’t even believe the night before was the first for both of you. He’d figured that, even though you’ve never had a boyfriend, you’ve probably hooked up with someone before. It’s common for pirates to do, or he thought maybe Sanji or Zoro had managed a situationship with you. But when you tell him neither had ever even made a move on you, he’s surprised.
“Probably because I’m the captain’s sister haha. I’m considered off limits to those boys.”
He’s not sure if your crewmates would like knowing you’re with him, he hasn’t been since your relationship started, but he’s started not caring. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions. You did last night, after Law made sure multiple times you were comfortable with taking your relationship further. He hopes you don’t regret anything when you wake up, but with how much you said you loved him last night, he knows you won’t. He really does wish he was at the point where he could tell you the same, but you understand, he doesn’t know how but you do.
Law watches you sleep for a few minutes longer, stroking your cheek while you bury your head deeper into his pillow in your sleep.
“Mm���love you…Law…”
It’s strange how you can say that so easily, even in your sleep, and how it makes him feel so emotional at the same time. How do you do this, make him want to cry at 5:30am just from saying you love him? It’s enough for Law to leave his bed finally, going to his bathroom to wash his face and calm himself down before he wakes you. Splashing water on his face, Law stops to look at himself once he dries off, he doesn’t know how to handle this. How to handle the love you give him so freely and easily. The last person to do that was Corazon, that’d been so long now.
“Cora-san…I don’t know how to handle this…”
Law never really expected to fall so hard for someone, it wasn’t something he ever worried about. Falling in love, getting married, having children, it’s not something Pirates normally do, he’s only ever viewed it as a civilian lifestyle. To be settled in one place where they could raise their family, it sounded good when he was a child but now, it’s such a dangerous thing to think about.
If the right person figures it out, he’s afraid he’ll lose you like he’s lost everyone else that’s told him they love him.
So many new ‘what-ifs’ are taking over his thoughts, there’s so much to think about now.
What if someone finds out and uses your relationship against him, or against Luffy? What if you get pregnant? Of course you were safe last night, but even Law knows protection is only so effective. Law would protect you of course, but it's another fear that someone could find out and use it against him. He doesn’t think he could handle losing a family again if that were to happen.
What if you decide he’s too much with the baggage he has? Would you leave him and want to forget your relationship even happened?
No, after last night, Law is sure you won’t do that, at the very least. You’re in this for the long haul, and so is he, neither of you are getting out of this relationship easily. You’re both too attached at this point.
He’s there for a few moments longer, thinking and trying to work things out in his head, before he’s surprised by your arms coming around his middle and your head laying on his back. You place a soft kiss to his tattooed back with a ‘good morning’, which Law returns.
“Did you sleep well?”
“I did. You?”
You nod, smiling up at him when he looks over his shoulder at you and places one of his hands on yours.
“I borrowed your shirt, hope that’s okay.”
“More than okay. It looks better on you.”
It makes you giggle while Law smiles, you tell him you’re going to steal it then and he doesn’t fight you on it.
“Do you wanna take a shower with me?”
“I’d love that, Law.”
Your shower is quick, only due to you needing to head off to your room so no one is suspicious of you being gone all night, especially Ikkaku so she doesn’t start asking questions. You’d rather stay with Law for the next couple hours before everyone else is awake, since you personally believe that most of his crew has figured things out by now, but you do understand his being worried that it might leak to the World Government and someone could target you to get to him once he becomes a Warlord. You try to extend your time with Law by wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing his face over and over, enjoying the slight blush he gets from it that only you ever notice.
“All right, all right,” he doesn’t sound annoyed, more like he’s appreciative of your affection, “You need to go on back.”
You pout, shaking your head before burying your face in his chest while he sighs and pats your head. “Last night was nice…I don’t want to go yet…”
“It was nice. Next time, you can stay longer…”
“Next time, hm?” Your grin makes him roll his eyes before responding to you.
“Don’t read too much into it, dork,” Law pinches your cheek a bit, making you whine before he kisses you one more time for that morning, “Of course there’ll be a next time. You’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I sure am,” nodding, leaning up just a bit more, you rub your nose against his briefly, “And you’re my boyfriend, my love.”
You leave a moment later, after telling him again that you love him, and Law wishes he could’ve responded in kind to you. You don’t seem to be upset he doesn’t, you never have. You’d told him that a simple ‘thank you’ is enough of a response until he’s ready to say it back to you. You’re willing to wait until he’s ready.
Law hopes he works things out before you have to return to the Straw Hats in a few short months. He doesn’t want to leave you wondering once you’ve separated.
Cora-san…I think I found who I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life…
Despite the worries and he has about losing you, about someone finding out and trying to use it against him, Law is determined not to let anything happen to you, even after you return to Luffy and your crew.
He's not going to let another person who loves him be harmed again. He’ll prove he doesn’t just lose loved ones and he can protect them.
Even if still may take him some time to return your words, Law is going to protect you, even when you’re miles away from him again.
I won’t let anything happen to you.
+!+
You’re not surprised when the Heart Pirates throw a going away party the night before you’re set to return to your crew. They’ve docked in Sabaody, but your intentions are to leave the next morning, you arrived a day early thanks to Law’s planning, so you have just a bit more time with the people who have become another family to you. They’ve all celebrated your birthday twice now, and tonight they’re celebrating you as an honorary Heart Pirate, you’ll never be rid of them, they all laugh when Shachi says it with a grin. It makes you laugh too, though you feel sad at the thought of leaving them, you’re anxious and excited to go back to your crew.
You want to see Luffy again, despite the part of you that wants to stay with Law.
Speaking of, you notice after a few more minutes that he’s not been around or said anything, and don’t see him when you stop to try and find your boyfriend. When you ask Hakugan, he says Law had gone back to his office a bit ago, telling him not to worry about anything and to keep the party going for you. It makes you wonder if he’s gotten overwhelmed once again, to the point you sneak off like you do often it seems, to go check on him. You don’t plan to let him stay locked away in his office, not when you have so few hours left before you have to leave, so you knock on the door and say his name, not getting a response at first.
“Law? Can I come in?”
“Go back to everyone, I just need a few minutes.”
“Are you sure? We can—”
“I’m fine, don’t worry.”
You don’t leave, trying to find something to say, before you nod to yourself.
“Okay, I’ll see you when you come back then.”
It’s not the party itself that overwhelmed him, Law only got that way as he heard everyone saying such nice things about you, how much they’ll all miss you when you leave and they’ll be waiting to see you again. The strain in Bepo’s voice when he talked about how much he’ll miss you being around too, the grins Shachi and Penguin had when they talked about your stories you’d tell them, Clione and Uni bragging about your cooking, Ikkaku nearly in tears because she was going to be the only girl on board again. It was just too much for Law at the moment, especially when Penguin nudged him and told him he needed to say something too. It felt too final to do that, made Law anxious, and he had to leave. He didn’t want to seem like a downer or make anyone else sadder than they already were to have you leaving, so he chose to step away for a bit.
You’ve changed things in the last two years, Law really does believe that. Especially with him, you’ve made him realize he's not going at things alone with his crew just along for the ride.
You’ve fallen in love with him and given him something he’s needed for a long time, reassurance more than anything, that you aren’t going to leave him alone.
Even if he doesn’t come back to the party, you’ll be okay with it. You’ll join him that night once everyone else has started to wind down and it gets quiet again. You’ll have one more night together before you leave, that’s more than enough for Law right now.
~~
“You could stay.”
“No,” Sighing you set yourself up on one elbow, holding your face in your hand, while you brush your fingers through Law’s hair with the other, “I really can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
“Luffy needs me,” you lay your head on Law’s chest, while he keeps an arm around your shoulders, “I’d love to stay but…I need to be with him.”
Law doesn’t say anything at first, placing his hand on your head and stroking your hair. He knew that would be your answer, even with an open invitation to join his crew and stay on the ship. Every one of the Heart Pirates loves you, they’re all happy Law has found you, and they wish you’d stay. Ikkaku wants to have a roommate still, even if you’ve been spending most of your nights in Law’s room, she’s going to miss having someone to gossip with. Penguin and Shachi want you to stay because they’ve never seen Law so relaxed before, and Bepo just loves you so much, you’ve helped him with so many things the last two years.
They’ve all come to see you as a member of the crew, if the going away party they threw for you is anything to go by.
“…I wish you would stay.”
You stay quiet but nod, moving enough to lay on top of him with your arms crossed under your chin. You’re sure you haven’t seen him look so sad since he'd told you his past, but he's definitely not near tears or anything. You don’t expect that anyway, it’s not Law and that’s okay. You love him as he is.
“Are you going to tell him about us?”
“Mm,” you nod a little, already having that planned, “Luffy needs to know, I don’t like to keep things from him.”
Law understands that, he’s perfectly fine with you telling Luffy. If you had said no, he was going to try and convince you to do so anyway. He deserves to know, maybe he’ll be understanding and let you join the Heart Pirates, who knows? You know Luffy the best, you may have the same idea, but Law also knows you probably won’t leave right away even if Luffy is okay with it.
“I love you, Law,” you lay your head back on his chest and Law simply hugs you close, kissing the top of your head, “Nothing’s going to change that.”
“I know…”
Once you fall asleep, Law watches you for a bit, wishing you would make the choice to stay with him and his crew. Everyone loves you, they feel like you belong there with them, he can’t count how many times they’ve all told him to just steal you away from the Straw Hats, but Law could never do that. He’d never force you to stay if you didn’t want to.
He's realized he loves you too much to do that. When you’re ready to stay, you will, he knows that.
“It’s so stupid…” Law is quiet, whispering mostly to himself to keep from waking you, “I wish I could just tell you. But the words just don’t come out when I try…”
He worries he’s woken you when you start to stir in your sleep, until you settle back down, he breathes easy again and holds you closer.
“…I do love you…I hope you know that.”
I promise I’ll tell you when I can.
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selamat-linting · 2 months ago
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Want a gifset of your favorite cartoon/show/movie?
Look no further than here! I'm opening a gif commission slot for Palestinian Fundraisers. I want to help Muhammed Shehab ( @zeanyahyaa ), he and his family, consisting of his sick mother, father, wife (Hiyam), and two kids (Zain and Yahya, 7 and 4 years old respectively). They've been displaced nine times, so they've been fundraising for months as a way to finally escape and settle somewhere safe.
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However, Shehab's fundraising blog kept getting shadowbanned, so he has a hard time fulfilling his goal. Theyre still at 8k out of the 25k goal. That's why I'd like to give an incentive for anyone who donates to them. I encourage others to do the same
HOW IT WORKS :
1. Donate €5 or more to Shahed's Gofundme (click here)
2. Send me a screenshot of the confirmation receipt through tumblr's direct message
3. Talk about what kind of gif you want. It can be anything, scenery shots, short dialogue, five gifs of your fave character doing something or wearing a certain outft, parallel scenes, action sequence, anything you'd like! I don't have to know or be into it. If you're in doubt, just ask. Here and here, are my gifs for reference. Slots are limited to 15 for now
Please DONATE. Their fundraiser is currently at :
9,700 / 25,000
1/15 SLOTS FILLED
vetted by 90-ghost
tagging for visibility. dm me for removal
@teethburied @commissions4aid-international @transmutationisms @determinate-negation @evilponds @rongzhi @yu-tap @orbcube @wammbam @gabajoofs @soup-mother
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blorbocedes · 5 months ago
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let me take you guys on a journey. one that will help you understand how annoyingly obsessive and hung up my brain can get......
so here is where our wild goose chase starts. I was going through a 2012 f1 blog's nico tag. it's actually pretty rare for early 2010s blogs to have comprehensive tagging systems so whenever I find one I try to go thru it all. and I come across this v cute nico image (cropped for posterity. payoff will be worth it promise)
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here we have a picture, from 2012, and in classic 2012 fashion there is meme text on it. OP of the original pic deactivated. so I want to find the version without the meme text. pretty easy, just reverse google search right?
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WRONG!
google reverse search is functionally dead and defunct and absolutely dogshit.
ok back to square one. I'm trying to sus out from whatever information I have.
the other meme watermark of f1humour.tumblr.com? deactivated.
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okay 37 notes. maybe I can do something with this.
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tumblr kind of breaks (?) with very old posts. so even if someone tagged it, I can't see it. ok but 14 people liked it!
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of the 14 accounts only 7 actually show, including mine. so what I do is I go through 6 of those blogs, and their public archives because those accounts are all inactive for several YEARS now. and I check their blogs for April 2012.
no luck.
back to the drawing board.
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the meme has a MOTORSPORT.COM watermark.
here's all the information I have: this was posted on April 24th, 2012, which means that's my upper limit on the date this could be taken. Nico got in Mercedes in 2010. So from anywhere between 2010-2012 motorsport images couldve taken this pic.
so, because I was born with excessive intelligence, I think hmmm... let me search the archives of Motorsport Images dot com. surely that is where Motorsport dot com would keep their Images.
two years of a racing driver's pictures means thousands of pictures. okay. let's start from April 2012. unfortch for keen eyed listening, April 2012 was also the Chinese Grand Prix aka Nico's first f1 win.
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why is that relevant? because it means every photographer and their MOTHER took a picture of nico for his first win. over 900+ images.
while I am exhibiting extremely unemployed levels of behavior here, I don't actually have the time and brain capacity to sift through 900 images.
I go back to the original tumblr post. this time I go to the empty reblogs. there's lots!
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but because there's no tags it can't help me. still I go through every one of them because you can see the blog I found the pic from @the-fastest-waffle is listed in the other reblogs even though they clearly had tags!
and I find my silver lining. from @fuckyeahf1drivers's tags
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just this simple. #bahrain #lol
if this picture is from bahrain 2012 it changes everything, as in it narrows my search a shit tonne.
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375 images. This means 1-15 pages and I know the exact picture I'm looking for. I feel like I'm SO close. I can't give up now. gambler mentality 💎
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so I guess what. I go through all 15 goddamn pages. and I DONT FIND IT!!!!!!!!! SCREEEEEECH
now I've lost hope. if it's not from bahrain 2012 then it can be from anywhere from 2010-2012 taken by motorsport.com which is just too big a search. there isn't anything I can narrow it down with. my search is futile.
but I have one tiny little thought bugging my mind. how come motorsport images don't have the motorsport.com watermark... so I consult a fellow archivist @vegasgrandprix on the matter.
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WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO ADDRESS WHY MOTORSPORT.COM AND MOTORSPORT IMAGES.COM HAVE THE SAME FONT
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finally. finally
I go on motorsport.com
which is actually kind of not super user friendly interface finding their pics if you have excessive intelligence like I do. I go into this knowing if the bahrain 2012 long shot is actually NOT when that picture is from, I'm fucked.
I filter and say a prayer.
and lo and behold.
salvation.
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one person's singular tag of 'bahrain 2012 lol' led me down this spiral, where if it wasn't for that bit of information this would be lost forever because finding the version of the pic without the meme text is otherwise near impossible. google reverse search is no help, and f1 drivers simply get photographed way too much. reblogs + tags with context literally are a holy grail. this is what I imagine archaeologists feel like. so if you ever want someone 12 years after you've posted something to go down finding out, tag your posts accordingly (assuming tumblr survives the next decade)
so why did I do it? why did I spend hours of my life on this? cause it's fun. it's like a mystery and it itches at my skin. many times I'm not successful which is why the times I am feels so rewarding because it feels almost like detective work, finding and refinding something, overturning evidence. and I have a brain that just functions Like This.
and now for the fruit of my labour, if you guys still want to see. the picture I spent hours to find the original version of. sitting proudly at the time of posting at 9 notes 😌😌 here's what goes behind actually finding and archiving 2010s retired f1 drivers online. click below!
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👆👆👆
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kosmosguk · 4 months ago
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Lineage (M) | Special Chapter: How It Began
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Pairing: Duke Yoongi x Princess Reader
Word Count: 4.4K
Summary: When an engagement locks you, the 8th and forgotten princess, to the duke infamous for his cruelty, you find yourself counting the days until your inevitable death. It’s terrifying to think of your end, but when you arrive at his territory, you realize there’s a more morbid reason behind your marriage, and that the duke is much worse than the rumors have painted him out to be. But many years before the events of Lineage's main story takes place, there was once only the love of a beloved goddess and a damned demon.
Warnings:  HEAVY yandere themes, death, gore and death, near-death experiences, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, mentions of smut, 18+, explicit language
A/N: Surprise, everyone! It's been, what, 4 years since I finished Lineage and 3 years since I stopped writing on this blog. I've been through a lot of ups and downs in the meantime (to underplay it), but I'm now in a pretty good spot. I've thought about writing this for years and there's probably at least 10 incomplete versions of this on my old laptop, but writer's slump was a huge barrier. It wasn't until a conversation with a roommate who had complained that a fic she liked was never fully fully complete that I thought about trying again, from scratch, to complete this part for Lineage. Lineage will always be my baby, and on a reread of it to prepare to write this chapter, the me of the past did do better than expected (probably better than the me of today). I don't know if any of my original readers are still here from the days when I was active on this blog, but even if it's just one, I hope I brought this story alive just a little longer. Will I write the epilogue though (which also has 10+ incomplete drafts)? We'll see :) Hopefully it won't take another 4 years!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Special Chapter |
A beautiful clearing stretched on underneath the heat of a sun that always remained warm. It was green and lush, but void of any budding blooms. There were bits of dried flowers that showed that there might have been flowers once, which had blossomed as quick back then as rain drops fell from the sky. This clearing was eternal, and it could only be changed by the touch of a being blessed by the divine or damned by the evil.
A man, cloaked in black, bent down into the clearing. There was only one more bloom now that still remained, a reminder of a time that seemed distant and far. It was hard to pick out from the shadows that spread from his feet, but he restrained the shadows until the yellow flower could tentatively peek out through the green.
It was time now. He could bring her back. She would fill this clearing with flowers again like she did before, and she would laugh as he clumsily wove together a crown from them.
He plucked the flower out of the grass and pressed it against his lips tenderly. It shriveled and dried up, leaving a colorless husk. He let it flutter out of his grasp and looked up at the sun for the first time in his existence.
"I will bring you back," he promised then. His voice sounded like he had not spoken in many years. He pulled out his sword and pierced it into the grass, watching the green shrivel into gray.
In the glint of his sword, there was a reflection of a young maiden, her fists kneading against a ball of dough. When she moved slightly, nudging the hair off of her shoulders, a hint of red was seen on her skin.
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You were born in a field of flowers, blooming beautifully underneath a sky lit with gold. The daughter of the God of Life and the Goddess of Creation, you were beloved by all beings who relied on the earth to live. You, who had lived under the protection of all who was Good, were woefully ignorant of the true darkness of those who lived in the shadows of Evil.
But then on a peaceful day, not unlike the day you had been born, you realized then how easy it was for Evil to creep into the realm of the Good.
“Wake up, my goddess!”
You flinched, peeking your eyes open to the Fairy of Tulips pulling the hem of your tunic with her small fists. “I am sleeping, Little Tulip. Only official orders will wake me.”
The sun was warm against your skin, and the clarity of your mind was still soft from the blurry haze of sleep. Though deities had little need for sleep, your habit of naps was known far and wide through the Creators’ realm. You tried to close your eyes again, nestling back into the bed of grass, and brush her off your clothes, but she clung onto your palm, chomping on your thumb. You yelped, now wide awake.
She squinted down at you, fluttering up off your palm, and placed her hands on her hips, the sunrise tulip petals adorning her body swaying in her frenzy. “The flowers have been murmuring that there’s evil nearby! We have to leave. Now!”
You laughed. Evil? Evil had not existed in this realm for many eons, after the War ended with victory of the Good. But when the little fairy’s expression didn’t show a hint of amusement and the muttering of the flowers around you remained, you frowned and pushed yourself up to stand.
“If you are certain of evil, then I will bring myself to check it out. It would not do any of us good if I left the situation unchecked, as we are by the border of the realm.” You stepped forward, flowers blooming underfoot to soften your path. The little fairy tugged at your clothes, hoping to stop you, but you kept walking further away from the clearing you had been lazing in towards the forest by it. Instead of the welcoming lush green that usually greeted you, the forest was coated in darkness.  
When the muttering of the flowers pitched in volume, you knew you were getting close. You placed your hands out, ready to call for nature’s aid if the situation called for it. However, instead of some vile creature looming over you with venom oozing from its pores, a young man laid in the midst of the darkness. A closer look prompted a gasp to leave your lips. He was beautiful, more beautiful than any deity you had ever seen, and if you had not been entrenched in shadows, you could have been fooled to believe him holy. But the oozing black blood from the wound on his side and his eyes, which flickered open to glower at you, were a startling red.
He scooted back, his free hand falling to the blade by him.
“I will not hurt you!” you spoke before you could process the thought, mesmerized by the sight of his eyes. You showed him your hands. Your eyes dropped to the curve of his lips, which if it had not been pulled in a sneer would have been lush and have softened his features. “I am a healer and a grower, not a killer.”
His expression decreased in hostility. You hesitatingly asked: “Is it alright if I come close? You can keep your sword by you, and if I do anything unpleasant, I will understand if you slay me but...” You teetered for a moment. “But if you kill me, I cannot ensure your safety and that would be bad for you and me. Me because I would be dead and you because you would also be dead and...”
You were interrupted by a laugh. Your eyes flickered back to him. He looked startled at the sound he had made, and you smiled brightly in response. You took a step closer. When he did not tense, you dropped to your knees and raised your palm over his side. You lifted your gaze to meet his, and both of you sat in an entranced silence, staring at the other. His eyes dropped to your lips, though there was still a guarded look to him, and you held your breath.
“Do you want me to put my hand down?”
“What?” you sputtered. Oh. Heat burned at your cheeks as you noticed the playful tug of his lips. You nodded quickly. He must have thought you were amusing. You focused back on healing, and you would leave and tell Little Tulip to not say a word. You vowed that you would never see this brute, who enjoyed your embarrassment, again.
When he dropped his hand, you called your healing power, but the unpleasant quirk of your lips increased the time it took to fully heal his wound. When the flesh closed over the wound, you leapt back to your feet. You felt foolish, very unlike the noble and dignified deity you were supposed to be.
“I am going now. I will not tell a soul about you. You do not need to thank me, but I will tell you that you must not wander into this realm again. I guarantee that the next deity you meet will not be as forgiving as me and...”
Your lips pinched together when you felt his touch around your wrist. He pulled your hand down, and lifted his head to kiss the inside of your palm. You flinched at the press of his lips on your skin. He looked up at you, mistrust no longer in his eyes. “You are my savior. May I not be able to see you anymore?”
You dropped your gaze from his. If he heeded your words and you no longer saw him again, would the emptiness in you at the thought grow more and more?
“Only here,” your voice was but above a whisper. “If I see your shadows in the woods, I will come find you. But you must not come find me.”
He was silent for a second. “You are as cruel as you are kind, my goddess.”
He still had not let go of your hand and though his touch was cold, you felt fire licking up where his fingers made contact with your skin. You pulled your hand back like he had scalded you and spun on your heel, flowers having barely enough time to bloom underneath your bare feet with the quickness that you fled.
When you left the woods, your feet scratched up for the first time in your existence and your cheeks red, you could only force yourself to squeeze out a sentence at the quivering little fairy: “There was no evil.”
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Your encounters with him continued, in secret and away from prying eyes. You talked about your visits to the human world: the songs you had heard and how you wished you could have danced and the loaves of bread you spotted cooling on the tables. You even talked about how your duties burdened you, though you were made to fulfill them, and how you felt like you were only able to handle them out of love for your humans. He talked about the books he had picked up in the human world, how he had found them meager and naïve at first and then interesting, and the little lake of lava he had grown up by and skipped rocks in. Though he spoke very little, when he did, you were captured by him.
And with the increase of encounters, your feelings of love, which you had reserved for only the creations that had been blessed by the hands of the Creators, grew. You let him hold you close to his chest, and when you laid your head on his flesh, you swore you could almost hear a heart beat quicker and quicker.
On your seventh encounter, when you had brought a basket of flowers into the woods to weave into crowns, you had placed one on his head. When he reached out into your basket and pulled out a handful of flowers, you watched him clumsily weave the flowers together and place the lopsided crown on your head. How could this man, as tender and clumsy as he was, be evil?
When he looked dejected at the sight of the crown limply hanging onto your head, you laughed and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. You had seen your lovely humans do this to express their adoration. And it was accurate to the moment: you adored him, to the point where you could ignore where his origins had laid root in.
Immediately, his hands reached up around your waist and pressed you close until you were on his lap. You gasped against his lips, and his tongue was in your mouth, delving into its depths. You burned underneath his exploration, your hands clenching onto his clothes into fists. Oh, you had never known pleasure like this, so unlike the simpleminded happiness you felt watching the trees hum in the wind and your humans create art. This pleasure was different: it blazed hotly, burning down trees and creating destruction in its path.
When the two of you were separated, your eyes blurred in a haze, he brushed his finger over the plumpness of your bottom lip, soaked in the mixture of saliva. His eyes were filled with anguish, but for what, you did not know. “My name is Yoongi.”
You let out a startled gasp at this. Oh. Oh no. You knew this name. You pushed away from him and onto your feet, flinging an arm out to point at him. “You are the Demon God. You...!”  
He was on his feet now, his hands reaching out to grab onto you. But you were inconsolable, banging your fists on his chest. Fire burned before your gaze, glimpses of your beloved humans hopelessly shielding their children from horrible monsters that would tear them apart and consume their remains. You knew those screams. You could hear them even now.
“You are the one to harm my beloved humans! I have seen your creations rise up, full of evil and malice. I have seen them destroy and terrorize and kill-!”
He held your hands to his chest, pressing your fists against where his heart would have been had he been human. The fight drained out of you, as you laid limply in his embrace, tears wetting the fabric of his clothes. His voice was ragged as he spoke. “I am full of evil, my goddess. I was full of evil. I admit, I who had been wandering in darkness did not know good. But you, who could have slain me, showed me good when you saved me. I can be good for you, as long as you do not leave me. You hold my pitiful existence in your hands.”
He reached up a hand to touch the flower crown. The crown disintegrated underneath his touch, leaving bits of ashes. “You see, whatever I touch, I destroy. But with you, I can control this damned ability of mine. I can see reason.” He swallowed heavily. “I can see you. And when I see you, I see all that is good. I can see the flowers that you love to smell and out of all of them, you love lilies the most. I can see that you love humans, though they pillage and lie and kill. I can see why all beings seek the warmth of the day and fear the coldness of night.”
You looked up at him. You could only see the redness of his eyes then. But beneath it, there was a being who you were certain loved you. And you loved him, as much as you loved your humans. He, who was evil, was nothing more than a creation led astray.
“I am sorry,” you finally whispered, a stray tear slipping down your cheek. “I...You will have to give me time.”
When you pushed yourself away from him, this time for good, you walked away.
When he saw that you had left without even a look back at him, he looked up as a large crow flew down. When it landed, it transformed into that of a handsome man with narrow eyes and bronzed skin and cheeks that would have revealed a dimple had he been a smiler.
“Namjoon,” Yoongi spoke, “Keep an eye on her for me. I will leave to deal with the issues of the Demon Realm.”
Namjoon nodded his head and hummed in agreement. “I will. A favor for a friend.”
Yoongi laughed. “Your associations with humans have made you more like them. A demon has no need for friends. In our existence, there are those who lead, and those who follow.”
Namjoon turned his head to look at where the little goddess had been. “And how would you describe her: a leader or a follower?”
Yoongi’s hands clenched briefly, like he could still feel her warmth, and his eyes were still pinned to where she had been. “She is holy. Holier than my damned existence. And yet I still want to monopolize her and make her look only at me.”
“So then?” Namjoon asked again. “How would you categorize her?”
Yoongi remained silent for a moment. Then, he vanished, leaving Namjoon alone in the forest. Namjoon thought to himself then: what about this little goddess captured the attention of a demon that had been damned from the beginning?
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Namjoon kept a careful eye on the goddess. Though on the surface, it was due to orders from his liege, he could not help the insatiable curiosity about her. She was kind—though kindness was not much familiar to a demon like him. She certainly loved those humans, as foolish and terrible they were. And when she watched a wedding, there was a certain sadness lingering in her eyes that captured him.
And so, as Yoongi remained away from her side, Namjoon found himself fixated on this presence.
He had been following her in a crow form when he was caught by the pudgy hands of some kid who was little more than the neighborhood bully. The kid had thrown him onto the ground and menacingly reached down to start plucking at his feathers. He had thought about growing back into a fierce snake, who could rear up to bite the human that dared to grab him and leave him on the verge of death, when a voice cried out.
“Leave that bird alone!”
The child bully looked up, prepared to viciously attack the person who dared to interrupt his fun time, but swallowed his words at the sight of the glowering adult. The little goddess had taken on the form of a muscular man, with biceps that bulged like the size of a boulder, and the kid had been too flustered to come up with a retort. Instead, the kid dropped Namjoon’s bird form and sped off.
When the muscular man shifted back into the form of the little goddess, Namjoon watched as you ran up to him and lifted him up to inspect him. “Oh, I am so glad you were not harmed! I love those humans, but I do not particularly enjoy it when they decide to hurt other innocent beings.” You squinted down at him with analytical eyes. Namjoon gulped, fearing that you would have caught onto the true self that lingered underneath the disguise. “Do you think I was too mean by taking on that scary form, right?”
Namjoon shook his head, forgetting that birds should not have understood the human language. But you laughed like this was to be expected, and Namjoon felt silly: of course, animals like birds would understand the words of this goddess. “Good! Well, I will let you be now, little guy. Try to be more careful, so you will not get caught again. You are a handsome bird, with very beautiful feathers. There are many humans who would catch you just to capture your feathers.”
Namjoon puffed up in pleasure. Of course, he was beautiful. He was a high-ranking demon. This crow form was nothing for him. If anything, he was the most handsome crow out of all the crows that occupied the human realm. He squinted his eyes. What was he even thinking?
In his agitation, he fluttered his wings and flapped away, ignoring the tinkling sound of laughter that she made when he almost rammed into a tree branch.
When Yoongi returned and had asked Namjoon on how his goddess had fared without seeing him, Namjoon could not help the zip of pleasure that ran through him when he had answered that she had been more than fine, and Yoongi had glowered in response.
Namjoon then understood why Yoongi had been unable to answer him when he had asked which category the little goddess had occupied. She was neither a leader nor a follower. Her existence itself was a source of contentment, of happiness that destroyed the boundary between who was meant to control and who was meant to be controlled.
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There were many creations that were beautiful. And there were few creations that were both beautiful and kind. But beautiful and kind creations never lived long.
You loved most the most beautiful and kind of the humans: a young girl who had lived as a daughter of a baron. You had chanced upon her on one of your visits, watching her help the poor though her family itself had little means, and when she had begged for help from a deity to help save her from her plight, you had been listening to her pleas that she not be sold to the vicious king that ruled over her kingdom.
You did something that you reserved for only your most favorite humans: you appeared in front of her. When you had offered her a way to avoid the favor of the king—a bell that would turn her into a bird that could fly out of the king’s grasp—she had laid on the ground and kissed your feet in joy.
But word of the goddess that appeared with the golden bell spread far and wide. And when you entered the human realm, wanting to see how that human girl was faring, you were soon captured by the king’s army. When you were lead to the throne room, your hands wrapped in chains, you were distraught at the sight of your most favorite human pointing at you.
“This is the goddess!” she declared. She turned to the king, who looked like a walking corpse with sallow skin and hollow cheeks underneath the gold and silk he wore. “Your majesty, I implore you to remember our deal. For her capture, you will let go of my parents and give us enough gold to revitalize our land and tend to our people.”
Oh, though she had betrayed you so, you felt a rush of pride. Betrayal for a good reason, you could tolerate, for you loved her so. But the king had merely raised his hand, and a knight rushed forward with a fell swoop of his sword. When her head, bloody, fell in front of you, you let out a ragged cry.
The king knelt down in front of you, a blade in his hand. You flinched as he wielded the knife...and sliced his palm open. He reached up to cup your cheek, smearing his blood on your flesh. “I heard tears from a goddess could cure all wounds.”
He lifted his palm back and watched with awe as the wound on his palm closed up. His eyes glowed with a sick greed. “Then it must be true. That the blood of a goddess can cure all ailment. You know, I had this knife brought to me for this very moment when I first heard the legends. It is made of a terrible evil capable of killing good. You should know that I was granted this knife from the Demon God himself after I sacrificed many peasants.”
He raised the knife and sliced your palm. You felt pain for the first time in your existence, but even more hurtful, you felt anguish bite at what might have been your heart. Gold ichor spilled out of your wound, and he hastily bent down to drink your blood. Color returned to his cheeks at once. You watched in disgust and horror as he laughed with glee. He sobered up, looking down at you. His eyes glittered with the remnants of the sickness that had imprisoned him so.
“Then it must be true. That the sacrifice of a goddess can fulfill any wish, a wish that would last for all of time. Your death can bring anyone back to life. For with your death, life will follow. I will be able to see my wife then.” He lifted the knife, and you were silent as he brought it down in a fell swoop. The blade pierced the flesh above your clavicle, but not a sound of pain left your lips. You pinched them together, even as your body collapsed on the cold floor.
You thought of Yoongi then. You wanted to let him know that you forgave him, for his deceit and for how he had tricked your beloved humans. But you were no longer capable of doing so. You were bleeding out on this floor, just like any other mortal that you had loved. You hoped that the Creators would not hurt the humans who had harmed you. There were many you had loved. And you knew that the Creators loved them even more so.
You saw a flash of red in front of your blurry gaze. A voice called your name, begging. You had never heard a voice that despaired like this voice did. You wondered, for a moment, why it sounded like Yoongi. Something wet splashed onto your skin, the sound of a crackle and a pop following. Ah, the tears of a demon, unlike the tears of a god, caused pain. But you did not feel any pain, not now. Ah, it was Yoongi.
You wanted to tell him that you loved him, that you saw good in him, that even when you were not around he could still be good. But your time, which had seemed to stretch on infinitely before, was now finite, limited by a few seconds left.
You whispered, gasping out short little breaths between the words. “I...forgive...all.”
“Wake...!” you heard.
And then you could speak no longer. And you could hear no longer.
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The end of the realms was imminent. Underneath the grief of the ruler of the demon realm, fires roared and overtook earth. Soon, once earth was taken and destroyed, rage would spread and bring all that existed down to the burning afterworld.
The God of Life could not stand by and witness the end of all that he had created. When he had found himself in front of the Demon God, he had been prepared for the sword that the Demon God had pointed at his chest.
“You...! She is your daughter, and you wish me to spare the lives of the humans who...!” The Demon God had screamed in anguish. He laughed then, the sound ironic and cruel. "I know you beings are both cruel and kind. For if she had been less kind, she would have been less cruel, choosing her love of humans over...over our love."
The God of Life loved all he created very much. And he had loved his daughter, who had sprung forth from the love he had with his wife, very much as well. But as the Giver of Life, he was unable to upset the balance of the world he had created, not when the balance was so fragile. He could not bring his daughter back. Not without an equal trade. Not without a deal.
“More than you would ever know in your damned existence, I love her very much." Loved. "Yet, I too am unable to go against the tide of Fate." In that moment, for the first time in his existence that had always been steady and predictable, the God of Life relented.
"However, there is a chance for her to return.” He started. “But you must adhere to what I will tell you. So that you will not destroy the world, I will tell you of how you may be granted mercy from Fate. But there is little in this world that is certain."
The Demon God was silent now, his face stony and emotionless. But there was something dangerous taking root in his eyes. A sickness that could not be cured: Hope.
And Hope was the most dangerous thing, for as much as it could create, it could also destroy. Hope would be the reason why humanity would continue. And hope would be the reason why the king, who in his madness had killed a deity, did not die. And why many, many years later, a princess that once had been the most loved existence in all of the realms would be born into this kingdom in the absence of love.
For hope could destroy lineage, as much as it tried to preserve it.
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A/N: As always, leave a comment! Though I'm not active like I used to be, I do check messages that come into my inbox and do see when y'all (if anyone is still here haha) comment. If anything, another motivator that had me come back to this blog just for this story was someone who messaged me two years ago. @theedungeonwitch, though I was in a not so great place then and wasn't able to respond to you, I'm leaving my flowers here for you now. No tag list, since I'm not sure who's still here and still willing to read this chapter :)
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monimccoythings · 9 months ago
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Alastor x Daughter!Reader III (Platonic)
Yeah, this is going to take place after the end of season 1, just after Sir Pentious has ascended and the hotel has been rebuilt into a bigger better version. I just don't know how to fit Y/N in season 1.
Reminder: Alastor is in Hell for a reason.
TW: This contains a very delicate matter, like PTSD and panic attacks, even though I wanted to keep it brief because I'm not very well versed in these kind of subjects and wanted to be careful and respectful with it, I'm not entirely satisfied with how I wrote it, I researched and looked into my past experiences, but still don't think I truly adapted it as best as I would have liked. Also several mentions of cannibalism. Brief mentions of controlling behavior.
This isn't proof read so sorry for any grammar and/or vocabulary mistakes.
Part I |Part II|Part III (You are here!)
tags: @anonymousewrites, @nonetheartist, @littledolly2345, @sunnyx07, @ouroborostheunholy, @mo-0-o, @sydneyyyya @lbcreations-blog
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Soft jazz music enveloped the room, accompained by a strong smell of coffee and magnolias, someone was humming quietly to the music. Somehow, it reminded you of home.
You blinked groggily, trying to get the sleep away from your eyes, and leaned on your elbow. Why was the ground so soft and cushioned?
Yor eyes shot wide open when you remebered the events that led you there. The blood, the laughter, the eyes, the smile, the radio static... Your heart started beating wildly inside your ribcage, and you suddenly found yourself gasping for air. You clutched your old dress, hoping that would alleviate the growing pressure in your chest in some way.
"Well, look who's finally awake!" Alastor left the newspaper on the table and turned towards you, if his grin was supposed to be comforting it was not working. Just the fact that he was acting so casual, as if nothing had happened in the last ninety years made everything a million times worse.
"You are quite the hide and seek champion, ma petite faon. It took several years for my shadows to casually find you and then it took even longer for me to believe you actually had been sent here, ha ha!" His neck bended in an unnatural way as he laughed.
Crap. Did he always know where you were? Was this just a game of cat and mouse for him?
As if he had read your mind, his eyes adopted a more relaxed expression that did nothing to soothe your nerves. "Well, for the last ten years you gave me quite the chase, cher. Always on the move, never stopping, from one part of the ring to the other. And then there's that seven year gap." He muttered to himself that last part.
You still felt on the verge of a panic attack. Your body couldn't and wouldn't stop shaking, and felt like reality was blurring around you. Everything was happening too fast, it brought you back to that night decades ago when you found that your beloved father had actually been a serial killer. It almost felt like it was mere minutes ago.
Alastor knew of your discomfort, your fear. He could see it as clear as a day, he could almost taste it. He had always enjoyed tasting the fear on his victims, but yours only left an aftertaste of bitterness in his mouth. It was rotten, putrid and nauseating. Maybe because it was the only fear he should never had a taste of. Watching you like this also brought him back to the night he lost you.
As he held your unmoving body in his arms, for a couple of seconds his brain stopped functioning, unable to accept what had just happened. The pain he felt was just like someone had ripped his chest open and pulled out his still beating heart, only to crush it, leaving an empty and cold hole in its place.
He had taken you to your room and laid you in the bed, tucking you in. You looked so peaceful, if your face and clothes weren't stained with blood he would have believed you were sleeping. But you would never wake up again.
The next couple of days passed in a blur, tracking down the man who had dared to do this to you and then run away, and giving him his fair punishment. And as he dragged his mutilated body through the forest... Well... the rest is history.
"Anyways! All's well that ends well! Now I found you, and you won't need to worry anymore!" His chirpy radio filtered voice portrayed some genuine happiness that didn't reach you. The bond and trust that used to tie you two together, had been damaged beyond repair. And Alastor knew. That didn't mean he was going to give up, though.
Before he had the chance to make things even more awkward between you two, the door bursted open, revealing several people behind it.
"Oh, you're awake, that's so great! We were all sooo worried since Al suddenly brought you here, and you seemed passed out, we didn't know if you were alive or-" The blonde haired demon kept rambling, but you barely listened to her, way too much in shock. Behind her, there was a bunch of demons: a winged cat who would be rather doing anything else than be there, a tiny cyclops with a psychotic and perky smile; a spider demon who, if anything, looked confused; a taller cyclops demon girl who found the dirt in her nails to be way more interesting than you, and some kind of moth demon girl? You wondered if they all were going to participate in your slaughter or were just going to watch.
"-aaaand who were you again?" The blonde demon asked with an awkward smile.
"I'm very glad you're asking! Because this is no other than my beloved little girl!" Alastor opened his arms widely in a dramatic form of presentation as the sound effect of a studio crowd cheering mixed with his voice.
"Wha- hold the fuck up? Your daughter??? Didn't you sing to Luci-?"
One glare full of murderous intention and loud static was enough for the spider demon to shut up.
"Now, now, how about we let the newest addition to our merry little band have a well deserved rest." Your dad not so gently pushed the uninvited guests back towards the door.
"Addition? Is she our new guest?" The moth-like demon girl asked.
Alastor's face darkened and loud static filled the room. "A҉b҉s҉o҉l҉u҉t҉e҉l҉y҉ ��n҉o҉t҉.҉". He swapped back to his more charming persona. "She'll be joining our facility as an assistant!" His tone admitted no further questioning, and, quite reluctantly, the staff and guests left the room.
So that's the story about how you ended working in the Hazbin Hotel.
Your work was mainly small chores or helping others. Nifty needed help to clean the rooms? You were there. Someone needed you to take cover at the reception? On it. Whatever tiny task someone needed help with, you had to do it.
You were not allowed to leave the hotel. Alastor made sure of that. Wherever you went, he made sure some of his shadows followed if he was not around, just to keep you controlled; although he'd rather call it, 'lovingly checking on his little baby'. It really was not needed, even if you didn't trust nobody there and your guard was still up, where else would you go? It was literal hell outside.
Years of hiding and living in constant fear of death or something worse had left you extremely mistrustful and fearful of people. There were times were you believed this was all a ruse to lure you into a false sense of security and then hit you were it hurt most.
It's not like you didn't believe in Charlie's dream, it was just you couldn't believe it could be possible, your father had very sincerely stated that he was just sponsoring it because he loved watching doomed souls struggle to achieve something meaningful and then fail spectacularly. Of course he did.
So, at least you had a roof over your head, enough food to eat, and a no-killing rule inside the hotel. Things could be worse.
Yet, there was still something inside you, something that you so desperately tried to let go but were unable to, as it had rooted itself deeply inside your mind and heart.
It started with small things, maybe a loud sound, maybe a bit of blood, it didn't matter because you could already feel yourself breathing heavily and sweating. It was like the entire world vanished around you. You couldn't breath, you couldn't think, your mind was on edge and your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. You were completely paralized with fear, your hands shaking furiously, making you drop whatever you were holding.
These episodes started becoming more and more frequent, the more you tried to fight against them, the stronger they became. Whenever Charlie, Vaggie or any guest tried to ask you about them you always tried to brush them off, not wanting them to see it as a weak spot to exploit.
After several episodes and you refusing to open yourself, Alastor had enough of watching you suffer and decided to take matters into his own hands. So, he took you to Rosie.
If you expected something out of a place called 'Cannibal Town' it certainly wasn't that. It looked so... normal, like any other town you would have found back in your time. Well, if you ignored the people eating an entire corspe on the street. Your father gently moved your face to face front, because apparently it was rude to stare.
Oh Rosie immediately adored you. 100% godmother material. That southern belle couldn't wait to pamper you and dress you up in all kinds of fancy clothes.
Talking to Rosie was surprisingly, easy, if you looked over her cannibalistic tendencies. She kindly offered you some fresh fingers, but quickly backed up when she saw you turning green, jokingly saying "Ah, teenagers and their diets."
Sessions with Rosie always left you crying and drained but in a positive way, you felt like a huge load had been lifted off your shoulders. It may be a long road ahead but it was a great start.
Talking to Vaggie also helped. Turns out being a former exterminator had left not only physical but psychological scars on her. The first months after she had been left to die in hell had also been very struggling for her. She helped you with breathing exercises, held your hands when they started shaking, and even was willing to teach you some self defence. Which your dad opposed to.
Charlie was... Charlie, always positive and upbribing but also respecting your boundaries, you were almost starting to belive she was being genuine.
There was another member of the staff who had not been present when you were first brought there and you had yet to meet. The King of Hell himself, Lucifer. Just knowing he could be there send shivers down your spine, wondering what kind of diabolical entity could he be. When you first saw that 4' overly excited manchild, at first you thought it was a joke.
Lucifer took a liking to you pretty easily, much to the annoyance of Alastor. He was curious about how someone as innocent and young as you could have ended in a place like that and vowed to protect you if someone ever gave you trouble. Your dad is seething. "Here, take this." And he just gives you a toy duck who backflips and makes the cutest rubber ducky noise. You loved it. Your dad is about to break the no-killing rule.
Alastor tried to win back your trust and love, even if he knew it was going to be a long and arduous task. He didn't care. He just got you back he was never letting you go.
He may not believe entirely in Charlie's dream, but he knew that if it was possible the one who had more chances to go straight to Heaven would be you. And he was not having that.
Alastor briefly considered making a deal to own your soul, just to ensure your safety and his control.
Up to this day he still doesn't know how you ended down there, and can't wait for the day when you will trust him enough to tell him.
He will respect your boundaries begrudgingly, he is your dad, he knows best. Will play nice and let you take your time with things. He will quietly show support for your emotional progress and make light physical contact, just enough to be supportive and not freak you out.
He cooks for you, and only you. The old homemade grandma's recipes he used to make back in your living times. At first, you didn't trust it, thinking he could have poisoned it. But the second you tasted his Jambalaya you felt like crying. Not only because after ninety years barely eating you were famished, but because for a couple of seconds, something there in the taste and smell had brought you back to simpler times. (like the Ratatouille guy)
Alastor truly desires to hear you call him 'Dad' again, you had yet to do so. Yes, you recognise him as your father, but after everything it just pains you to address him as such. It's like your dad and Alastor were two separate people. The loving father vs the serial killer, the guardian vs the Radio Demon.
He really loves you very much and it's been hard on him to keep that much distance from his little fawn. So he takes out his frustration on others, don't turn the radio on when he tells you not to.
And with time, his efforts were rewarded. Somewhat. You seemed to have gotten a bit more comfortably around him, at least you didn't flinch or recoil anytime he approached you. But you couldn't forget, you couldn't overlook the fact that he was a murderer and a cannibal and still doubted if anything you two had lived together had been truly genuine.
Honestly, it offended him that you would even think that way. Wasn't he there for you, always? Didn't he protect you from the darkness of the outside world during your living times? Wasn't he, as a father, devoted enough to his fawn?
But of course, actions spoke louder than words, and his actions had left too many cracks in your trust. But he will keep trying to win you back. Alastor's very patient demon, he has all the time in the world.
Y̸̗͉̺̱͂̕o̸̧̯̞̟̰̪̗̱̳̱̎̈̿̄̄͛̅͝͝û̴̦͔̹͈̣̥̾͛͑͗͋̅̏̂̚ͅ ̷̭͋̈͛̽͒̅̀̈́́̚ă̷̢̢̖̦͕̞͚͔̻̳̅̇̃͌̿͐̄̃̕r̵̨̢̺̦͇͚̙̈́̅̽́̊͠ę̶̺̖͋̐͐͌͘͠͝ ̶̖̲͎̜̮͚͉̰̒n̵̢͕̝͖̗̜̣̾̾̇̾̅̽͊͘ǫ̴̼̺̠̱̦̘̒̈̎̿̇́̔̉t̴͙͇̼̱̻̦̦͔̖͙̍͌ ̸̩̂́̎͒͘g̶͔͚̰̺͔͉͓͍͔̈́̽̈́͋͘͜o̵̹͔̫͚̼͚͒͑į̷̧̫͔̹͉̰̘̮̍͋͒̈n̸̢͕̙̙̞͔̓͐̓ͅg̵͖͇̜͚̗͙̤̫̱̝̉̂́̚ ̴̪̂͑̓̊͛a̷̖̞͊̄̈́͑͋̈́̄͘n̶̻̟̙̝̪̩͂̋͗ẏ̸̨̛̱̱͇̱͖̤͕̥͛́̍̂͛̕͠w̸̛̖͎̫̑h̵͔̝̣̀ẹ̵̝͍̳̟͚̪̍̒͋̒̀̊̏r̷̨͉͉̒̑̉̒̄̎̓̎͜͝͠ȅ̸̩͇̳.̵̠̪̖̍͂͠.
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imaginaryf1shots · 8 months ago
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My Girls (X) | Max Verstappen
WC: 2.9K
Driver!OC x Max Verstappen
Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.
Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandonment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)
This is a secondary blog so I won't be able to respond but I'm adding you all to the taglist.
Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Max Masterlist
Previous | Next
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Admit? Deny?
2022
Hungary GP
With Hungary being in europe Laurent, Cecilia’s brother was able to make it to the race with his oldest two children, who he was in charge of as well as Nathalie, his wife had to stay back home with their third child, so had to take care of the three kids on his own, which he’s done one many occasions.
One difference this time, he did not take into account how much the kids would take in and get hyper, they’ve been given sweets and running circles around him all day, the only time they settled down was for Qualifying the day before and parts of the race. Nathalie had her cousins sit down and watch as her mum secured another P2, and how her daddy got P1. She was the proudest little girl and as always she liked showing her parents off, well to those that knew about the couple anyways.
Laurent doesn’t know how it happened, but Nathalie had managed to slip away from his grasp. The girl was out of his sight in a second, he had no idea where she went, he had both his kids by the hand as he panicked and asked around, asking for the help of Mercedes team members, the whole of the team was searching for the 6 year-old, if they don't find her and it gets back to her parents they’ll have a very angry Mercedes and RedBull drivers on their hands, if not all the grid.
*
Cecilia was unaware of her missing daughter as she waited for a spot in the media pen to open up so she’d go inside. Charles was finishing up his last interview, and came over to her side, they both talked for a couple of minutes, no doubt the fans spotting them in the back of the interviews. Max was more than halfway done with his lap of interviews when Cecilia went in.
Charles was still lurking around when he saw a familiar head of blonde hair slipping around, dodging people left and right, he knew the headband on top of her head, he got her that one, it was red. Charles frowned and moved to intercept her from getting into the pen, but she saw him and gave him a mischievous look and just as he was about to get her she slipped inside the pen.
“Nattie!” Charles called, gaining the attention of the parents, just as Nathalie reached her destination hugging her parent’s legs, looking up with an innocent smile.
Max looked at his girlfriend and gave her a reassuring nod, not wanting to draw attention to her daughter choosing Max over her, she turned back to the interviewer with a smile. Max picked up Nathalie, the girl beyond happy to be with Max, but overly shy when she saw the cameras around her.
“Say hi to the cameras, Nat.” Nathalie smiled and waved to the cameras, Max and the interviewer smiled at her cuteness, Max gave Charles a nod for the monegasque to calm down, the Ferrari driver looked more worried than the parents. “Looks like I have a companion today.”
“Cecilia, it looks like your daughter has made it to the arms of your rival at RedBull.” The interviewer stated and she turned to look at Max and Nattie, Nathalie was looking around in wonder, her first time seeing the action from this point of view and not from the garage and on screen.
“Yeah, well we're off the track so I'd say she's with my friend.” Cecilia replies with a smile, more than a friend.
“How do you feel having her here, seeing your face and on the podium.”
“I feel beyond happy, her seeing me achieving my dream, being the first woman to do what I'm doing, you know it sets her up with the mentality that she had do whatever she wants and that her gender is not a limit that she can achieve whatever she wants if she just set her mind to it.” Cecilia had that smile on her face, her voice was loving and bright not just from her podium but from thinking and talking about the best thing that has ever happened to her.
“And do you think we'll be seeing her on track in the future?”
“Maybe, she's been karting before, and only over the last year that she started wanting to go every weekend, so we'll have to wait and see, Charles has also been taking, he’s making her a Ferrari enthusiast.” Cecilia said with a laugh before the questions then turned back to the race and she moved from interviewer to another doing her circle.
She'd hear Nathalie laughing and giggling as all the drivers passing her would poke her or tickle her and Nathalie is at the age now where once she gets over her shyness and just LOVES the attention.
Max was moving to his last interview with Nattie still refusing to let go of him, he asked her if she wanted to go to her mother and she refused.
“Daddy, are you almost done?” Max's eyes snap from Nathalie to the interview and everyone around him, wanting to see if anyone heard Nattie, and no one showed any reaction, he breathes a sigh of relief.
“Last one, schatje.” He whispers to her and kisses her cheek. “You can go to the garage if you want. Uncle Lewis can take you.”
Max said and looked at the Mercedes driver who just answered his last question. Lewis, having heard him move closer, opens his hand for Nathalie. Nathalie looked conflicted for a few seconds before she moved toward Lewis, she was starting to feel tired from all the playing she's been doing with her cousins, she sugar crash hitting her hard.
“Hey sweetheart.”
“And there goes your daughter to your teammate.” Cecilia turned and saw Lewis walking away with her little girl, shaking her head at the attention her daughter managed to gain by crashing the media pen, it’ll be all over her social media by the time she’s back in the garage.
“She loves her grid uncles.”
Unbeknownst to them, how much her presence is about to change.
The interview was live and as much as nobody on scene didn't pick up Nathalie’s words, people at home sure picked it up. And Twitter was on fire, theories and demands for answers were raised. Neither drivers had their phones yet both in debrief, RedBull and Mercedes’ PR teams were the first to find out that there's something going on, both teams' social media were blowing up.
Toto was talking with his team when a frazzled woman rushed in from the PR team, all eyes snapped to her. She looked nervous as she walked up to Toto and whispered something to him. His eyes snapped to Cecilia making her and Lewis share a look. Cecilia stood from her place and walked closer.
“What happened?” She asked knowing full well that it has to be about her.
“Nathalie… she uh.” The female trailed off looking to Toto to continue, but just the mention of her daughter had Cecilia on edge.
“What's wrong? Did something happen with her-”
“No, no she's fine.” Toto interrupts her shaking his head, knowing how the mind of parents work. “She just accidentally called Max dad on live TV, and apparently social media is in uproar.”
“Oh.” Was all Cecila could say, as her mind ran over what she just learned, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen, but this isn't what the couple or the teams had planned. “What do we do?”
“We'll have to talk to RedBull about it after the briefing.”
By the time Merc team were done both PR teams were gathered at Mercedes meeting room. Lewis was in charge of Nattie with Laurent wanting to stick around and see what the teams would agree on.
Cecilia sat down in an empty chair, she didn't have to wait long before Max and Christian came in. Max sat next to his girlfriend while Christian took the empty seat at the head of the table across from Toto.
And so the talking began, she felt like she was back to when people first found out she's a mother. Words were flying around the room as both teams struggled to agree on the best course of action for both drivers. And they were set aside no one asking them what they wanted to, as if this didn't involve them at all.
Deny. Say the truth. Slipped. Accident. Agree. Children are innocent. And so on and so forth. A repeat of last year. This time Mercedes and RedBull are at each other’s throats.
“I don't understand why we're having this conversation.” Max didn't have to raise his voice for everyone to shut up and listen to him. He was unamused. All this talk made nonsense to him and he's not the type to hide his distaste. His hand was intertwined with Cecilia’s under the table.
“What don't you understand?” Christian asked his driver leaning back in his chair, he knew how to handle Max, but it doesn't mean he loved it. Max is good at what he does but sometimes, sometimes his temper gets the best of him. Christian sent a silent prayer for this meeting to end well.
“What are you all arguing about, I mean Cecilia and I are dating and you all knew that, it was only a matter of time before someone slipped.” Max explained shrugging his shoulders with a slight shake to his head.
“It's not just the fact that you’re both in a relationship, which is a big thing in itself but Nathalie called you her dad.” Toto pointed out.
“When no one knows who her father is.” Christian added and his eyes went to Cecilia.
“I'm not telling you who he is, if that's what you're concerned about.” Cecilia tone left nothing to be added to that subject, this is a sensitive topic for her. “We can say he's not her biological father, but that's all I'll ever say about this topic.”
“Look, its nobody's business anyways, just confirm that we're dating.” Max stated wanting to be done with this.
“Its not that simple.” One of the staff said.
“Then simplify it.” Max leaned forwards speaking with his hands now, Cecilia placed her hand on his thigh under the table to try and calm him down.
“Its not just you two that are involved, there's the teams, sponsors, fans and even the FIA.” The same staff added, they were brave to be honest because Max was getting agitated and they were not handling the situation right.
”Again, we didn’t break any rules, both our teams knew about our relationship and about Nathalie, so why does it sound like you’re all surprised?” Max asked his brain not comprehending why they’re still making a big deal out of this, this just doesn’t make any sense at all.
”Because they thought we’d break-up before it ever went public.” Cecilia stated and everyone went silent, Max’s head snapped to look at his girlfriend, Cecilia looked up from her hand on the table and met every single eye that was looking at her. “Isn’t it right? Both teams? You all secretly hoped we’d break up.”
”For fucks sake.” Max muttered, he rubbed his eyes in frustration realising that what Cecilia was saying is true, the teams continued to stay silent and that just proves it, Merc and RB may be rivals and handn’t talked about it but they had the same hope. it would’ve been easier and made the duo more competitive on the track. Alas little Nathalie ruined their hopes and dreams with her slip up.
”I don’t think we’ll be coming to an agreement right now.” Toto said and Christian agreed, that was all it took for the couple to stand up and leave as did everyone else. Cecilia went back to her room and Max to his. They collected their things, Cecilia met Lewis and her brother giving them a brief talk about what happened at the meeting before they got her nephews and daughter before she was led out discreetly off the track and into her ride back to the hotel.
Max wasn’t as lucky, on his way to the car, the media found him and surrounded the dutch driver. Max kept a poker face as he moved through the crowd with his team and to the car. He had received a text from Cecilia that they made it to the car and were okay, that was the only thing calming him down.
But as the car ride was silent, Max’s mind brewed with all kinds of things, he knew where he stood and he didn't care about anything else at the moment.
When he got to the hotel room he shares with his girlfriend and Nathalie, Nattie was already showered and in her PJs while Cecilia was doing her skin care, they would be leaving the next day, so they could relax for the rest of the night and pack everything up early morning.
“Daddy.” Nattie shouted and ran to Max, as she always does whenever they’re alone, and he knows that it must’ve taken everything out of the little girl not to do the same thing whenever she saw him on track.
”Hey, sweet girl.” Max stopped her up for a hug, that she returned and clung to him, Cecilia finished up in the bathroom and joined them, Max leaned in and they shared a short but sweet kiss.
”Come on cheri, let daddy shower and then we can watch a movie and cuddle.” Cecilia said knowing that her daughter loved nothing more than cuddling between her parents and chilling, she did miss them when they were travelling so she held the moments they shared close to her heart.
”Can I pick the movie?”
”Of course you can.” Max replied and gently threw the girl onto the bed, Nathalie screamed and giggled, making the adult chuckle at her cuteness.
After Max had showered they did exactly what they were set out to do, and had a movie playing of Nathalie’s choosing, she was cuddling up to Max before she fell asleep not half an hour into the movie, having run around all day had exhausted her. Nathalie moved in her sleep and cuddled up to her mother instead, Cecilia was fighting sleep herself, wanting to talk to Max, but her tiredness was catching up to her.
”Just sleep, shatje.” Max whispered seeing how every time she closed her eyes it took longer for her to open them, Cecilia didn't even try to fight him and just let her eyes close. Max sat there watching his girls as they slept peacefully and he was the happiest he could. In that moment he was content, moments where he has his family besides him gives Max a kind of happiness that he can never get with winning a race, he never expected a few years ago that he’d be in a committed relationship with his childhood rival and that they’d have a daughter together albeit she’s not biologically his, she’s everything to him. And so he knew what he had to do, so he took one out of Cecilia’s books and decided to break his instagram feed that was only racing related and post something, hell with his team and their ideas, what will they do? Fire him? Not a chance he’s winning them championships and gaining points every week, they wouldn't lose him for something like this, he turns the do not disturb on his phone and Cecilia’s to ignore the coming calls from the teams through the night.
So he went to sleep like he woke up, with his family feeling happy.
The next day Cecilia wakes up first and gets out of the bed to use the bathroom, once she is done she goes back to the bedroom and looks for her phone finding it on Max’s side of the bed. She frowns seeing all the text messages and notifications she has, one thing that catches her eye is the post notification for Max’s instagram, clicking it she smiles, before she laughs, the noise wakes Max instantly and causes Nathalie to move on the empty side of the bed.
”What?” Max asks his morning voice rough and slow, he takes Cecilia’s hand and she just shakes her head at him in amusement, a smile on her face.
”You Max Verstappen are a one of a kind.” Cecilia says and leans down pressing her lips to Max’s in a loving kiss.
”What did I do?” Max asks his brain not fully on yet, but he’s happy if that’s the reaction he got. Max places his hand on the side of her thigh furthest from him after she leans back now sitting on the bed beside him.
“You just told the world that you have a 6 year old girl and for everyone to essentially go fuck themselves if they’re bothered by it.” Still smiling, Cecilia looks at her boyfriend.
”Well, it’s the truth and now I can have Nathalie on my side of the garage.” Cecilia shakes her head at him.
”I love you so much, Max.”
”I love you too.” Max says smiling and he tugs her slightly. “Get back to bed, it’s not even 6 yet.”
Cecilia felt too awake to sleep but she slips back in bed between Nathalie and Max this time, Max pulls her flush against him wrapping his arms around her. It doesn’t take too long for him to fall back asleep, while Cecilia stays on her phone and scrolls through the text messages she’s gotten over the night before heading to her social media to see what people are saying.
Maxverstappen1
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liked by landonoriss, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 4,235,648 others
maxverstappen1 my girls ❤️
758,963 comments
username1 AAAAAAAAAAh
username2 this is not a drill I repeat this is not a drill 😤
username3 they’re so cute wtf 😍
username19 cutest couple on the grid
alex_albon the only couple on the grid
georgerussell63 are they?
username19 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? GEORGE EXPLAIN YOURSELF
username4 and she calls him daddy 😭
username5 honestly a round of applause for Max for posting bc I know I just know both teams would’ve been against it 👏 👏 👏
username6 so true like he’s a daddy and he isn’t about to hid it anymore
ceciliahannson15 my man je t'aime tellement (i love you so much)
maxverstappen1 je t'aime tellement
username7 my question is how long has they been together for 🤔
username8 I’m guessing a while for Nathalie to call him dad and everything
username7 true
username9 So did all the drivers know or?
username8 Charles definitely knew, and if Charles knew Pierre knew
username12 and if Pierre knew than Yuki knew as well
username7 I mean if we’re guessing then LAndo, lewis, daniel, alex and Carlos as well
username11 yeah… I think they all knew
landonorris FINALLY 🥳💃🕺
ceciliahannson15 why are you acting like it was hard for you hide it
landonorris do you know how many photos i couldn’t post because you and Max are disgusting???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ceciliahannson15 1. that’s an alarming amount of exclamation marks 2. why are you taking photos around us anyways 3. we’re never inviting you anywhere with us again 🤨
landonorris how dare you! I was on call the first time you lot went out also max will tell me @/masverstappen1
maxverstappen1 hey, what she says goes
landonorris I see how it is, first you steal my ex-teammate now you’re choosing her side
maxverstappen1 😇🤷🏻‍♂️
username this^^
Charles_leclerc and I’m still the favourite 😁
maxverstappen1 I’m convinced you give her something bc why aren’t her parents number 1
charles_leclerc I’m just special 😇🤗
maxverstappen1 until Seb is around that is
charles_leclerc we don’t talk about that
username34 these comments are everything
username56 so all this time we thought it’d be lestappen but it was Milia 😑💀🙃
NEXT ->
Taglist:
@luciaexcorvus . @vellicora . @tpwkstiles . @belennasif . @eugene-emt-roe . @fanboyluvr . @fangirl125reader . @christianpulisic10 . @belennasif . @itsjustkhaos . @crashingwavesofeuphoria . @mynameisangeloflife . @mirrorball-6 . @skynel09 . @barcelonaloverf1life . @lilipiggytails . @rebelatbay . @christianpulisic10 . @ironmaiden1313 . @dark-night-sky-99 . @amalialeclerc . @bborra . @allsouls-emma . @buckybarns4life . @distancedss . @xoscar03 . @aquangxl .
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sgiandubh · 6 months ago
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From barf bag to pity party
The whole 'Kick in the hornets' nest' involuntary series was started by this Anon, received by the de facto leader of the Disgruntled Tumblrettes yesterday evening (in Europe):
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The next morning, another Anon chimed in, on the same page, with what prompted the First Kick: S has a child with 'a woman', but God forbid, not with C 🤣🤣🤣.
And then, one of their group felt the need (then the clearly irritated urge) to come back and comment on the above Anon. No less than 5 (five!) long and plethoric comments were written, prompting my Second and Third Kicks - as you all know, the woman practically begged for them.
I feel it's time to show some mercy and draw the line here.
This blog is read (and trusted) by many. Comments were received. Very interesting, matter-of-fact submissions, to say the least. You know: FACTS (🤣🤣🤣). People who have rich and full and loving lives, people who travel. People who don't even agree on many things, yet spontaneously concurred on what things very probably looked like, on that Palm Sunday morning.
Exhibit 1: Mom and Traveler #1 (a mom I am not - but I was a child, unbelievable as it might sound, and I absolutely confirm every single bit of it)
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I am not yet ridden with dementia, and I remember very well waking everyone up at ungodly hours and refusing my mandatory afternoon siesta (a very bad habit we have in Southern Europe). I wish I would still have that same insane energy now. I also wish I would have kept my 3 year old fashion model food quirks - but that is another story.
However, I am a dog slave (not owner) and as such, I am taking Baby out for his short (but excruciating) morning routine at 7:30 AM. Come rain or shine. Beg him to finish his business with grace and dignity. He never listens. Labs are a charming, addictive handful and my Greek boy is no exception:
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Exhibit 2: Mom and Traveler #2. Who happened to be in GLA on Palm Sunday, March 24, 2024 (for the thick people at the back!):
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All that trip was abundantly documented on her own page. I am reasonably sure she might be reblogging this with her own pics from that day.
And now, for the real questions at stake:
Why make such an unbelievable fuss over an Anon with no pic, that I was reluctant to publish myself?
Why have a cosmic meltdown, in public nonetheless, if you do think this is such a pile of unbelievable nonsense crap? (*imagine the freakout in DMs, if this made the headlines!)
How many times has/have S (or C, or SC) been seen by Antis in GLA in similar postures, without a word being uttered in public?
Why would such an occurrence be An Event, outside of this (help me, I have no words) fandom?
Why insist with your crappy arguments, when it is plain to see you have got all your facts dreadfully wrong?
Why mention 'central Glasgow', when it is public lore (and included in Waypoints!) that S does not live there anymore? (* I blacked out the exact reference, which makes total sense - the least thing I would like to see happening is freaks like you stalking them)
One last time, you insist - comments 6 and 7 (wow, girl!):
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First comment is a lie and if you read my Anon (and you know you all did and discussed it to oblivion) you'll have also read this:
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Which part of 'he didn't approach' you don't get, in plain English, madam? I am lousy at drawing, but hey - for the cause (open in separate page, questionable humor included):
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Second comment, I won't even get into it. God only knows what the hell you meant. I am Romanian and we tend to be a very sarcastic bunch - especially the Southerners.
You posted those at about 2:45 AM, local time (if you are, indeed, a Scot). That's 4:45 AM my time.
I am a lifelong sufferer of insomnia. You, madam, you are mad wae it, as they say in Glasgow.
Don't drink and post, seriously. It makes for a very #sorry hangover show.
And with this, I am done with you. All of you, in that corner. You showed me more than enough. You know there is substance to that Anon, despite the lack of a picture - hence the collective freakout.
From barf bag to pity party. Who knew?
[Later edit:] re-reading the sixth comment, I think she wants to imply it was the 'other child' - I was literally blind with sleep when I first saw it. Well, there is no evidence of whatever she is trying to explain (has she contacted The Climber? between midnight and 2 AM, local time?). Also, a 5 year old child is not a toddler anymore: kids are considered toddlers up to 3, only. That boy, as we all know (and I am sorry we do), has dark hair - where is the resemblance Anon noticed?
Desperate, grasping at straws, lying through her teeth and mad wae it, all the way.
@pamalissou, thanks for bringing us a third mom's POV in your reblog.
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mylovelies-docx · 1 year ago
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Sorry, I Love You - Part 5
Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood afternoon, everyone.
:) Have fun
Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?
C/W: Awkwardness, flashbacks, feels
Word Count: 1,950
Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)
[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4]
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This wouldn't be your and Bucky's first undercover mission together, but it would be the first one where the tension between you is decidedly not sexual. You're not even sure how well the two of you can pull off this charade since you have no idea what your chemistry is like anymore. Used to, you could do anything together, be anything together.
Not so much now.
There’s an awkwardness between you. Silences pregnant with all the things left unsaid – or should have been left unsaid. You’ll catch Bucky watching you from the corner of your eyes, always with an unreadable expression like he’s trying to figure you out again without actually asking any questions.
You can't imagine that you've changed so much in the intervening months, but Bucky makes so much progress in therapy that his confidence in himself and his personality grow by leaps and bounds all the time. 
You don’t know this new Bucky, but you wish you did. You wish you had been with him to see his growth, encourage him on. 
You’ve missed out on so much of your life by staying away from the Tower. You’d had so many plans that never came to be – no walks in the park when the flowers started to bloom, no trips to the beach on the hottest days of the year, no ice skating when the first snow fell. You kept a tab on everything that should have been on the calendar in your mind, noting all the days that had significance in the past but went uncelebrated this year.
But what’s done is done, and you have to pay for your actions – half a year away is a small price to have Bucky back in your life, even as a stranger instead of your lover. 
You’re now trying to organize your new life on the outskirts of a small town in Russia, just a few miles away from a HYDRA base. Snow was falling thick and fast as the quinjet touched down hours ago, leaving behind a pristine blanket of white outside your new home. The small, two-bedroom cottage looks rustic, but it is still nicer than most of the surrounding homes due to Tony’s influence. There is hidden technology that will help the house to stay warm in this cold climate and random high-tech appliances, lights, and other things that look normal and are anything but.
With the HYDRA base going radio silent, you may be in this little home for longer than was initially expected earlier this year. Bucky is sure that the base is still active, though.  He spent a lot of time here as the Winter Soldier, but no one has received reports from the embedded spy in recent months. This inactivity is concerning since you're no longer sure what is going on inside the building anymore.  
It would be too obvious for Bucky to go undercover inside the facility, so that leaves it up to you to infiltrate as a researcher. The spy had assured last year that no one from the facility lived in the town you’ve settled in, so it’s safe enough for Bucky to remain close by as you work.
But the small town you’ve settled in is so traditional that the only way to remain inconspicuous as a younger woman is to be connected to a man in some way – be it living with family members or a husband.
And since you don't want to be labeled an outcast or worse, Bucky is here.
Bucky is going to be a mechanic at the small family-owned shop just down the road, and his prosthesis is covered in Stark technology that makes it appear as if he’d never lost it. Bucky used to spend a lot of time fixing up old cars and motorcycles between missions, so he should really enjoy spending his days in the garage helping out the Kowalds.
Unfortunately, your background isn’t as fun. You’re a whiz when it comes to biology, so Nat cooked up a false resume full of lab work that centers around eugenics and biomanipulation – things your spy had reported the facility was actively looking into. In order to get your foot in the door at the HYDRA facility, the Avengers had to create a background so disturbing that you're not even sure if you can interview for it properly.
 You're just zipping up into your thick winter coat when Bucky walks out of the kitchen drying his hands on a dish towel.
“You headin’ out now, doll?” He asks, a small worry line between his eyebrows.
“Yup,” you answer back with a comforting smile on your face. “I need to go meet with our contact to make sure that everything is still okay.”
“Just be careful, yeah?” he tells you, slinging the towel up onto his shoulder. Today is his first day at the mechanic shop, so he's dressed in blue overalls with a small name tag stitched onto his chest. The sun is just barely rising, but he's going to be late if he doesn't hurry.
"You know me, Buck. My middle name is Safe."
"Your middle name is Trouble and you can't convince me otherwise, babygirl."
You stick your tongue out at him and blow a raspberry, holding your middle finger up in the air as you turn around and head out the door. Once out of his sight, you smile and bask in the feeling of having your friend back.
You'd missed the banter and easy wit you used to share together, so this small exchange feels like a return to normal. The awkwardness might return in time, but you hope Bucky has forgiven you enough to power through.
You trek along the deserted streets. The early hour and layer of snow on the ground seems to be keeping the townsfolk within their homes, wrapped snugly under their warm blankets. You sigh heavily and watch your breath fog in the air, the mist condensing and freezing your skin as you walk through the cloud.
You pass house after house, noticing lights turning on and the sound of hairdryers, televisions, and conversations humming in the air. Everything has a vague, indistinct quality to it, lulling you into daydreams of what their lives are like. Is it simple? Do they enjoy this cold, snowy location? Or are they also dreaming of a warm day laying in the grass in nothing but a pair of shorts and a tank top?
A memory worms its way to the surface of your mind of a day spent just like that with Bucky. 
This was only a few weeks before your friends-with-benefits situation started. It was the hottest day of the year so far, the humidity heavy in the air and making the sidewalks and parks of New York City intensely uncomfortable. Even though Stark has the Tower equipped with the latest technology, he's incapable of leaving anything well enough alone. He'd been tinkering with the HVAC and somehow short-circuited the entire system. Everyone in the Tower was miserable and cranky, choosing to avoid one another in an attempt to stave off arguments and confrontations. 
You'd been sitting in the shade of the balcony, fanning yourself as you watched all the teeny tiny people on the ground maneuver the crosswalks and traffic to get to where they were going. It was no warmer outside than it was in your room, so you chose to people-watch instead of lay there and sweat miserably on your clean sheets.
Just as some bratty kid you’d been watching chucked the ice cream he’d been yelling for only moments ago onto the sidewalk, the sliding glass doors behind you whooshed open. The sound of metal knocking against the doorframe had let you know that Bucky was the one to interrupt your spying.
Regretfully turning your neck, you felt your skin sliding wet and hot against itself. A frown marred your features as you stared at Bucky as he stood behind you, his eyes alight with mischievous glee.
“What did you do…?” You question slowly, almost afraid to know what that look was all about.
He shrugged a shoulder and smirked. “Nothing too bad.”
“BARNES!!!” a voice roared from the depths of the Tower.
You quirked an eyebrow at him and a small, disbelieving smile graced your lips. “That doesn’t sound like nothing, Buck.”
Bucky hmm’d and glanced back into the building when a CRASH reverberated from where the voice had yelled moments ago. “I was going to get out of here for a while. You wanna come?” he questioned breezily.
“And why would I want to leave when Tony’s working on fixing the AC?” you replied as you continued to fan yourself. Bucky’s eyebrows had quirked ever so slightly.
“Y/L/N!!!” 
Your hand had frozen mid-fan and your eyes widened so much that Bucky couldn’t help but laugh.
“Where’d you say we were going?” you asked as you rose quickly from your seat and bypassed Bucky at the door.
***
“You little shit!” You had laughed uproariously when Bucky finally admitted to the prank.
“What else was I gonna do?” he responded, turning his face to look at you.
Even with the intense heat that day, you and Bucky had decided to forgo the climate controlled vehicles in the garage and went instead with the fastest getaway vehicle – Bucky’s bike. The wind had whipped against your body when you held onto Bucky and watched the city fall into the distance behind you. 
He apparently hadn’t had a destination in mind, so you had ridden until cities and towns disappeared. He’d pulled off beside a barely visible hiking trail and jumped off his bike. You had followed suit and watched as Bucky pulled a blanket from inside the storage compartment on the bike. You hiked your eyebrows questioningly, but only got a grin in response. 
That’s how you had found yourself lounging on a blanket in the middle of a field with Bucky on the hottest day of the year. You’d chatted and laughed for hours until the sun had slowly faded from the sky. Out that far, the light pollution of the cities couldn’t touch the stars. You had gazed upwards, trying to draw the constellations as you remembered them.
You weren’t any good at astrology or astronomy, but the stories behind the figures in the sky captivated you nonetheless.
You laughed again and turned to face him as well. “And why’d you have to implicate me, huh?” 
“Figured it’d be more fun that way,” he had answered slyly. 
You had wound your arm up and smacked him on the stomach, your hand bouncing off of the toned muscles. He’d caught your wrist on the next swing and held it up and away from his body. You’d tried to tug it away, but his metal fingers held fast and didn’t let you go. You rolled over toward him and began trying to use your body as leverage, but you had only succeeded in pulling yourself closer to him.
You huffed and blew the piece of hair that had fallen over your eyes away and looked up at him. He’d had a look in his eyes that he hadn’t directed at you before, but you’d seen glimpses of it when he’d find someone to bring back for the night.
You can’t help but think that that moment had been the turning point in your friendship with Bucky, the moment he thought about asking you to be friends-with-benefits. Of course you’d found him handsome long before then, but that was a moment that really cemented your attraction to him. 
You didn’t have romantic feelings at the time, but you should have known they were inevitable.
Part 6
@jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshine @happinessinthebeing @nash-dara @calwitch@stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283
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toonafeesh · 2 months ago
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Spare Merch for Gaza + Sudan
Hey guys, I'm following @jayssparemerch's merch for Gaza + Sudan donations! I'm giving out old merch in exchange for donations to Palestinan and Sudanese fundraisers. Most of these are fanmade danmei merch and trades from friends so please do not resell them :(
$5 items | Baihe & Danmei $5 items
$15 items
Take a look and see if there's anything you want! This is all first come first serve so don't hesitate to donate. More information about how exactly this will work under the cut. Please read everything carefully!
Feel free to claim 5 items or more in the $5 tier. I'm trying to declutter so it doesn't really matter to me how many you pick as long as you donate to a fundraiser! Make the shipping cost worthwhile. Don't be afraid to ask if you want more than 5 items. :)
Donation minimums are just that - minimums. Please donate as much as you can spare.
Please donate directly to people in need and grassroots orgs. Gaza Funds will spotlight a random campaign if you have trouble choosing. E-sims for Gaza and Khartoum Kitchen are both great choices. Another one you could donate to is to help disabled Sarah and her family evacuate from Gaza. Hopefully your dashboard has people sharing fundraisers on it, so it shouldn't be too hard to find somewhere good to send your money to!
You'll be expected to pay for shipping on your own items. I will ship both domestically within Australia and internationally outside of it. Please note that it can be a bit expensive to ship things to outside of Australia.
All mail except for stickers will be tracked! AFAIK Australia doesn't let me send out untracked letter mail if they aren't paper goods. Stickers will be untracked and cheaper to mail, but if you choose to get stickers WITH something else then they will be tracked.
Once you've decided on an item you want, send an ask or message to this blog (if you are from twitter, feel free to DM me on albacorenim @ twitter) with the following information:
- The item you want - An email address where you can be contacted for followup in the event that you're the first person to claim an item - Your zipcode, or country and postal code so I can estimate shipping
After I receive this information, if yours is the first claim, I will contact you at the provided email with a quote for shipping and ask you to provide a confirmation/receipt for a new donation made after the creation of this post. A screenshot is fine as long as the date is visible
Feel free to donate in whatever currency is most convenient/required for the fundraiser you're donating to, as long as it's equivalent to the required donation amount in USD
I will try to ship out items within 1-3 business days. I'll send out confirmation as well as the tracking link to your email address one shipped out.
REGARDING ACRYLIC CHARMS/STANDEES: These may appear cloudy in the photographs. This is because some still have their protective film on them! They will be crystal clear once the film is removed. But do note the epoxy charms may have some yellowing because they are couple of years old.
If you buy something from my shop and want to combine shipping, just let me know in the email so I don't charge you twice!
Feel free to ask any questions you have that weren't answered here, and I'll reply to you/update this post as necessary
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coolemmasulivan2 · 6 months ago
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Love Wins (Even in Red) | 3
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Pairing: Mason Mount x Reporter!Reader
Summary: Fate reunites them under the red lights of Old Trafford. Interviews are frosty, leaving people wondering why. Can Mason forgive Reader for something that happened in the past? Can she win Mason's heart and prove love wins even on red?
Word Count: 3526
Author's Note: You could read part 1 and 2 in my now old blog, but my account was closed by Tumblr, but I still wanted people to read part 3 (even if the other parts have died), so here it is. If you haven't read or don't remember the other parts, I think it's best not to read this one.
Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called And said, "I miss you", I caught it
Your shoes on her feet were pissing you off. Everything about her visit, the bad timing, the unwelcome reminder of the past, was starting to grate. Lily was your little sister, and despite the years of hurt and betrayal, a sliver of love still flickered within you. It would always be there, buried deep, but trust and affection? Those were long gone.
Across the table, your roommate glared at Lily with daggers for eyes. Clare wasn't happy about this surprise visit either and the way she chopped her steak said it all.
Clare's voice, sharp as a knife, cut through the awkward silence. "So, Lily, what brings you here?" 
Lily offered her a smile. "Oh, I just miss Y/n so much! And since she couldn't make it to my graduation, I thought I'd surprise her with a visit. You know, it's been ages!"
You scoffed internally. Lily wasn't the sentimental type, and affection had never been her strong suit. Neither had it been for the rest of your family.
"Right." She managed, forcing a neutral smile. You shot Clare a glance, hoping to restrain her hatred, but your roommate ignored you completely. "How long are you planning to stay?"
"Only three days!" Lily said. "I got a job back in London, going to start next week."
"Oh, that's good."
You stayed silent, picking at your food without much appetite. You could practically hear your mother's voice in your head: "Y/n, don't play with your food!" Your stomach was already churning from the earlier incident, and the awkward dinner atmosphere wasn't helping.
"Y/n? Did you hear me?"
You blinked, startled by your thoughts. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
"Just wondering how things are going with you. Work? Everything alright?" Her voice dripped with a sweetness you found questionable. Was she mocking you? Or maybe trying to pry about how you were doing with Mason now that he was around?
Across the table, Clare let out a loud scrape as her knife snagged across her plate. The harsh sound did little to hide the tension radiating from her. You could practically see her clench her jaw, trying to control her anger.
"Everything's good," you mumbled, forcing a smile. You didn't want to get into a conversation, especially not with Lily. But the silence felt suffocating, so you offered a bland reply, hoping to deflect further questions.
The Christmas lights twinkled on the tree, casting a warm glow on the richly decorated table. You, recently graduated, sat across from your parents, a nervous excitement bubbling in your chest. You'd finally landed your dream job – a football reporter. Tonight, you wanted to share your accomplishment, to celebrate this pivotal moment in your life with your family.
"So, Y/n," your father started, "tell us all about this 'football reporter' job of yours. Sounds… interesting." His voice held a faint undercurrent of scepticism that sent a shiver down your spine.
Your smile was big. "It is, Dad! I get to meet incredible athletes, analyze the game from a different perspective, share the stories behind the players that make them human, not just statistics on a page…"
"The stories behind the players," your mother echoed, her perfectly manicured red nails tapping a rhythmic counterpoint against the tablecloth. "Like what, exactly? 'Football Star caught eating pizza before the big match'? Don't you think you could be using your talents for something… more important? A doctor, perhaps?"
The air hung heavy, the weight of their disapproval pressing down on you. "Mom, I love this job. It lets me be creative, connect with fans, capture the passion of the sport…"
"Creative?" Your mother mocked. "Medical school, that was clever. Imagine the impact you could've had as a doctor, Y/n, making a real difference in the world."
A heavy silence fell upon the table. Your mother pursed her lips, her disapproval a palpable presence. You glanced at your younger sister, Lily, who sat beside you, seemingly engrossed in her phone, like always.
"At least we still have Lily." Your father finally muttered, a hint of resignation in his voice. "She's on track to become a Lawer, just like we always hoped." His words, though apparently meant to be comforting, only deepened the depth that had grown between you and your family.
You sprawled on your bed, watching a random movie on TV. The awkward dinner had left a sour taste in your mouth, and the tension with Lily still crackled in the air. You sighed, a wave of exhaustion washing over you.
The door creaked open, and Clare poked her head in. Her usually bright eyes held a dark glint. "Can I please kill her?" she whispered, gesturing towards the living room where your sister was sleeping.
You chuckled, the sound echoing in the quiet room. "No, Clare, you can't kill her. She's still my sister, even if…" Your voice trailed off, searching for the right words.
Clare walked into the room, closing the door behind her and flopping dramatically onto the bed beside you. "Even if she's a… leech?"
A ghost of a smile played on your lips. "Something like that."
Clare propped herself up on one elbow, her gaze fixed on the flickering TV screen. "But seriously, why do you think she's here? The timing is awfully convenient, wouldn't you say."
You couldn't argue with that. "Maybe she just… missed me?" you offered, the doubt heavy in your voice.
Clare snorted, a skeptical eyebrow raised. "Honey, let's be real. Lily missing anyone besides her phone or free vacations? Not likely."
Her words were harsh, but they held a ring of truth. "So, what do you think she wants? You don't think…" you stammered, the unspoken question hanging heavy in the air.
"Think what?" Clare prompted, her gaze sharp. "That she's worried about the video being leaked, especially now that Mason plays for United and is practically your neighbour?"
You stared at the ceiling, the image of Mason's smile flashing before your eyes. The idea of Lily sabotaging your relationship with Mason once again filled you with a cold fury.
"Well," you finally said, your voice steely with resolve, "if that's her game, she's underestimated me. I won't let her hold this over my head anymore. It's my time to be happy."
Across the white tablecloth, Olivia's voice buzzed like a nervous bee. "So, my parents dragged me all the way from California to Manchester when I was eight. Talk about culture shock!" Her laugh, light and tinkly, didn't quite reach Mason.
His smile, felt heavy tonight. It was a mask hiding the knot of butterflies twisting in his stomach. The fancy lobster soup in front of him remained untouched, a sad contrast to the vivid picture playing on repeat in his head.
You! Your long hair illuminated by the warm sun, your eyes sparkling when talking about the things you liked and made you happy, your pink soft lips touching his. He could almost feel the warmth of your hands as they brushed against his cheeks, sending a shiver down his spine.
"It must've been tough." He said, moving uncomfortably in his chair.
Olivia, oblivious to his internal baggage, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It was, but Manchester grew on you, you know? There's just this… vibe here. It's electric."
Mason forced a chuckle. Vibe! His brother loved throwing that word around. It was probably the same way he'd described the blind date he had set him up with – "She's got this great vibe, Mase, you'll love her!" But that wasn't what he was feeling.
"So, Mason…" Olivia continued, her smile fading under his distracted gaze. "Tell me about yourself. Is there anything you're passionate about outside of football?"
Mason blinked, pulled back from the memory of your face by Olivia's question. "Uh, well, football obviously takes up a lot of my time, but…" He trailed off, his mind searching for something, anything, to fill the silence. However, he knew he should end the dinner soon, it was not fair to Olivia. Your image always in his mind, vibrant and passionate, made it hard to stay present. "Olivia..." he started.
Olivia's smile faltered slightly, but she recovered quickly. "No worries, Mason. It's clear we're not really on the same page. It's fine."
A real smile finally broke through on Mason's face as they said goodbye. After paying the bill and making sure Olivia got a cab, a wave of relief washed over him. He pulled out his phone, his heart pounding, as he typed a single message to Bruno: "Can you send me Y/n's number?"
The sunlight sliced through the gap in your curtains as panic jolted you awake. A frantic glance at the old clock you still had on your nightstand confirmed your worst fear. You were late. Way late.
Your phone lay lifeless on the nightstand after a tense dinner with Lily. No phone alarm, no clue what time you'd fallen asleep, no idea if you'd missed any messages or calls. Mostly, you worried about work. Being late wasn't your thing.
Throwing off the covers, you launched into a record-breaking morning routine. You put on the first thing you pulled from the closet and practically ran out of the room, searching for your coat. 
A glance towards the kitchen caught you off guard. Breakfast sat on the table, a spread fit for a king compared to your usual morning routine. 
"Good morning!" Lily appeared with a glass of orange juice in her hand. You couldn't help but wonder if you even had oranges in the house.
"Hi," you mumbled, pulling your hair into a messy ponytail. "What's all this?"
She smiled, clearly proud of herself. "Breakfast, silly! Sit down and eat something."
The tempting aroma tickled your nose, but you couldn't. "I can't. I'm already late." You reached for your coat, glimpsing out the window to see that it was raining.
"Oh, I hoped we could talk," Lily said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. "You know... without Clare around."
"I'll be back later. We can talk then. Now I really have to go." You grabbed your bag and everything you needed, throwing a hurried goodbye over your shoulder.
"Have a nice day." 
Lily's words echoed in your ears as everything went wrong. You missed the bus, the rain hammered down as you stepped outside, and to top it all off, you'd left your phone uncharging at home in the morning chaos. By the time you finally reached your work, you were soaked to the bone.
When you were finally leaving work, one of your coworkers who witnessed your day of misfortune, took pity on you and offered you a ride home. At least something seemed to be going right. 
Stepping inside the house, the clean, fresh scent greeted you like a warm hug. Lily sat on the couch, laptop open on her lap and a smile on her face.
"Hi, big sis! How did your day go?"
You wanted to scream the first words that came to mind: awful, the worst, horrible. Instead, you settled for a simple, "Busy!"
"Did you clean?" You asked, gesturing to the spotless living room. She nodded. "You didn't have to."
"It's the least I could do."
"Well, thanks." You took your coat, hanging it by the door. "I'm going to take a shower and then we can talk about what you wanted to talk about this morning."
"Okay."
In your room, you tossed your bag onto the bed and flopped down, staring at the ceiling. It had been a long time since a day had gone so wrong, and all you wanted was to sleep and erase it from your memory. But Lily still wanted to talk.
With a sigh, you got up and spotted your phone, still dead, lying on the nightstand where you'd left it. You grabbed the charged cable from your bag and connected them, a flicker of life returning to the screen as the battery symbol lit up.
Grabbing some fresh clothes, you headed to the bathroom, letting the warm water wash away the stress. You didn't know how long you stood there, but eventually, the water grew lukewarm, and you stepped out.
Back in the living room, you dropped onto the couch, the TV playing some random show Lily had left on.
"So, what do you want to talk about?"
Lily closed her laptop and faced you, her expression serious. You mirrored her posture, sensing the conversation was going to be serious.
"Okay, so, I have some news I haven't shared with you." Confusion clouded your face. She shifted slightly, a sign of nervousness. "Well, I have a boyfriend."
You smiled. "Lily, you're a grown woman, you don't have to tell me about your boyfriends."
She stood up and walked over, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. "This time I do have to tell you." Your silence encouraged her to continue. "You see, it's a serious relationship and... We're engaged!"
Your jaw dropped. You were happy, but deep down there was also a sense of jealousy. So, she was supposed to be happy but you weren't, you thought to yourself. 
"I— I don't know what to say. Congrats!" You opened your arms for a hug, which she returned. "How— how long have you been dating him? I mean, what's his name?"
"His name is John. John Kingsley." Lily said a nervous smile on her face.
The name hung heavy in the air, a suffocating weight pressing down on you. Lily felt a sense of dread as she saw a flicker of recognition in your eyes, her nervous anticipation replaced by fear.
Blood roared in your ears, drowning out everything else. "Professor Kingsley?" you choked out, the words barely a whisper.
Lily's expression was replaced by a grimace of apology. "Yes!" She stammered. She knew the truth would explode, and the fear in your eyes was a reflection of her own.
"How could you?" you said, the anger you'd bottled up for three years finally bursting. "That video, of both of you, forced me away from Mason! He ruined my life!"
"It was not him that blackmailed us."
"Blackmail us? You mean Blackmailed me!" Tears welled up in Lily's eyes, but they did little to extinguish the fire in yours. "How could you even think about marrying-- How old is he?"
She'd known this anger was coming. She still remembered the fear and the disappointment in your eyes as you'd agreed to leave Mason and London behind.
"Y/n, I—" she started, but your voice cut through her like a knife.
"I had to leave Mason," you choked out, your voice thick with unshed tears. "I had to give up everything because of that video. And you're going to marry him?"
"Like I said, It wasn't him that blackmailed you."
The weight of your sacrifice, the years of unspoken hurt, crashed down on you like a tidal wave. "It doesn't matter, Lily! It was because of your video that they were able to blackmail me." You shouted. Lily reached for you, a silent plea for understanding, but you flinched away. "Don't touch me," you whispered, the words laced with ice.
"Y/n, please." she pleaded. "Let me explain."
"I don't want to hear it," you said, your voice trembling with the force you were trying to contain. "I want you to be happy, Lily. Seriously, I do. But I can't be a part of this. Not after everything you two did to me."
Without another word, you grabbed your coat and stormed out of the house. You slammed the front door shut, the rain hitting your face. Tears streamed down your cheeks, blurring the world around you. You didn't see the familiar car pull up in front of the house.
Mason.
He approached the house, unaware of your presence as you left the house. He quickly got out of the car, his concern etching on his face as he knocked on the door.
Lily opened the door, a flicker of surprise crossing both of their features. 
"Ahm-- Lily?" He said, unsure of the name. He had only met her once and she didn't exactly look like that young girl anymore.
"Mason? Hi. What are you doing here?" She looked nervous and looked like she'd been crying.
"I've been trying to reach Y/n, but her phone is off. I needed to talk to her."
Lily's eyes darted nervously around, avoiding his gaze. "She's not home."
Disappointment clouded Mason's face. "Oh, okay. I guess I'll try her again later. Thanks anyway." He turned to leave, his shoulders slumped.
But before he could disappear into the rain, Lily spoke up. "Wait, Mason. Can I talk to you for a minute?"
He stopped, and a flicker of confusion appeared in his eyes. "Sure." Lily stepped aside, guiding him into the house.
Your breaths mixed in the quiet aftermath, soft sighs escaping your lips. Mason traced a finger along your cheek, his touch sending shivers down your spine.
"You know," he began, his voice husky with tiredness. "Spending time with you it's the best part of my day."
A shy smile bloomed on your face as you ran your fingers slowly on his chest. "Really?"
"Absolutely," he confirmed, his eyes searching yours. "I just... I really like you, Y/n. More than I thought possible."
Your heart skipped a beat. "I... I feel the same way," you confessed, your voice barely a whisper. "So," You murmured, your voice filled with unspoken hope. "What does that mean for us?"
He pulled you closer, his forehead resting against yours. "I think," He said, his voice gaining strength. "That maybe we should make things official. Be a couple, you know?"
Your eyes sparkled with joy. "I'd like that more than anything."
He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss.
Pushing open the front door, you were greeted by an unfamiliar darkness. The dining table was illuminated by the soft glow of two flickering candles, casting the rest of the house into darkness.
"Clare?" you called out, your voice echoing in the silence. No answer. You reached out to find the light switch, but there was no light when you clicked it.
"Clare's not home." a voice startled you from the shadows.
You felt relieved at the familiar voice, and for a moment, the intense emotions you were feeling were pushed aside. "Mason? What are you doing here?"
He stepped closer, the candlelight painting his features in a warm glow. "Been trying to reach you since last night." You remembered your phone, still charging on the nightstand. "Lily opened the door for me." You looked around for any sign of her and Mason could tell. "She's also not here. She left." Good, you thought. "She told me everything. About the video, the blackmail... Why didn't you tell me?"
Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring the image of his concerned face. "I'm so sorry," you choked out, the apology tumbling from your lips before you could stop it.
He reached out, his fingers gently cupping your cheeks. "Why are you apologizing?"
"I shouldn't have ended things with you." You confessed, your voice thick with regret. "It was Lily's mistake. But then they blackmailed me and I couldn't... I did it to protect her. I had to."
His eyes softened with understanding. "I know. I understand." He said, his voice gentle. "Hell, I would have done the same for my family." The tears came harder then, a torrent of relief and regret. He pulled you close, his embrace a safe place in the darkness. You missed his hugs. "Don't cry, please." He murmured, his fingers stroking your hair. "It's okay."
"I'm sorry." You murmured against his chest. "I broke your heart and you didn't deserve it." 
"Stop that." He whispered. "Look, romantic dinner by candlelight wasn't exactly the plan, but the power's out, so..."
A choked laugh escaped your lips. "I missed you. Every single day." You admitted, the words tumbling out before you could hold them back any longer.
His smile, illuminated by the flickering candlelight, was the most beautiful thing you'd seen in days. "I missed you more." He confessed, his voice husky with emotion.
He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that tasted of forgiveness, relief, and a love that had never truly died. It was a slow, and tender kiss, filled with unspoken promises of a future where nothing, not blackmail, not family drama, would ever tear you apart again. As you pulled away, his hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear.
"No more goodbyes, okay?" He said, his voice firm with resolve. "We'll face everything together. Always." You nodded, a new strength blooming in your chest. No more running, no more hiding. 
He leaned in once more, his eyes searching yours. "Mason?" You murmured. "I love you. I always did." 
"I love you too. Since the first moment that I saw you." You locked your arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. The future, with him by your side, was all that mattered now.
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psyches-love-nest · 4 months ago
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Sex advice for first timers and late bloomers (paid tarot reading)
I lost my V-card past 24 years old. People always go "surprised Pikachu meme" every time I tell this story, even though I found this age most appropriate to start my sex journey. I feel extremely empowered at the fact I chose when and with whom to do it. Before that, I wasn't a kid playing dollhouse. I was barely past my sweet teenage years, an anxious young adult dealing with Uni and some minor issues at home. I was busy, yes, but not at the point where I stopped getting myself involved with others who was either horny or struggling with their own sexuality. I don't have an excuse for not engaging in sexual activity earlier, I just didn't care and I was hoping to fix my trust issues before putting myself in a situation where I would most likely have a meltdown than getting pleasure from. Now that I'm nearing my 30s, I feel in position to guide others with their sexuality outside the Tarot advice.
I have received messages from various people where they state their concerns about still being "chaste" past their 20s. Some have only kissed one person in their whole life. Others fear the opposite gender, so they don't know how to approach them or accept their advances. They feel like weirdos and lacking community. If you feel identify with my personal story or theirs, then these readings are for you! I assure you are not alone and I would love to help you.
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[Pack 1] $35
✧How will your first/next time play out?
✧How does your sensuality look like? (and how to master it)
✧What's blocking you from enjoying your sexuality?
✧Gift question: How can you improve your sexual expression?
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[Pack 2] $35
✧What are your limiting beliefs about sex and your first encounter?
✧How can you improve your relationship with your body to start perceiving yourself on more positive (sensual) way?
✧What others finds attractive/appealing about you?
✧Gift question: short description of your first/next partner
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▹DM me to book a reading
▹It's my PayPal link. A screenshot of the payment should be sent in, please
▹Feedback on my services (@solar-serpent is my main blog)
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worlds-worst-ships · 4 months ago
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Do you ship it? ((C*nt of the month edition) trying not to get banned)
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Hi Matt! Since I know comedians these days love googling themselves and finding things about them that piss them off so they can whinge on stage about it, I have something to show you. Here's a list of people in history with disabilities who made more of an impact on the world than you could possibly imagine;
1: Michael Bisping, professional MMA fighter, had multiple fights at the highest level on the trot with an impressive win ratio with a missing eye, unbeknownst to anyone but him (would love to see you make fun of him)
2: Albert Einstein, most famed and celebrated professor of the 20th century, was on the autistic spectrum. Gave more to the world in a year than you did in your life.
3: Tim Burton, among the most famous directors, producers and animators in history, revolutionizing goth culture in his long career, is also autistic. He put in far more work than standing on stage and being a dick.
4: Stephen Hawking. Even an idiot like you knows this one. I'll leave it at that.
5: Hellen Keller, was literally deaf and blind for most of her life and was still a famous author. So whats your excuse for writing such shit, tasteless jokes?
6: Zack Gottsagen, an actor with down syndrome, became the first actor with down syndrome to present an Oscar.
7: Stevie Wonder. I imagine even he could see how utterly insufferable modern comedians are.
Nooooow then, lemme guess, "yOu'Re jUsT a PiSsEd oFf TrAnS pErSoN gEtTiNg OFfEnDeD" lemme tell everyone something about myself.
I'm not trans.
I'm straight.
I have no physical disabilities whatsoever.
I actually don't get along with a lot of lgbt people because they're, guess what, PEOPLE, very few of whom I get along with anyway. Its never once been to do with their identities or rights, but purely because, as is the case with every demographic, most of the ones I've met are pricks.
"BuT ThEy GEt OFfEnDeD-" yes, when you deliberately scroll twitter looking for offended lgbt people, you tend to stumble across them. Wouldn't ya know it?
Anyways. Comedy is dog shit. Getting up on stage and deliberately being edgy because you've lived no sort of life away from people who you know you'll offend is not talent. Its something a 14 year old with an inferiority complex would do. Thanks for being another nail in the coffin of actual, watchable comedy.
Oh yeah, and if you want an example on how to actually joke about domestic violence, cross-reference the name "Wilbur" on my blog. See, its funny when you're making fun of the abuser and the fact that they do these things, but not when you mock a victim and make fun of them for having these things happen to them. Never once do I mention his victims, its purely making fun of him and the sheer absurdity of his behavior in the scope of who he is. And we're on Tumblr, literally the symbol of people getting offended, and never once have I gotten backlash for those jokes, so you, as a man with a Netflix special, have no excuse for such lacking creativity.
One last thing, for my readers... anyone wanna bet some petty cash that a woman or three from his past are gonna come out with a few tasty bits of drama about ol' Matty boy, if you know what I mean?
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otomiyaa · 1 year ago
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nice.png
(literally how I named the image, couldn't think of something else)
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Hi guys :') To my followers and tumblr friends, I'm really sorry if my sudden disappearance scared or upset you. It wasn't quite... planned. And today was a busy day and I needed some time to consider what I wanted to do.
Short version of the story:
My tumblr account got terminated for copyright infringement. A certain Mr. Green got me in unlucky trouble (ref 1, 2).
I won't get it back, or try to get it back. It's gone.
Needed a moment to consider 2 options: ask Mia to extend my dramatic farewell letter and stay gone, or make a new blog.
Not planning to post new writing here. I won't be using words like 'never' or 'forever' because I'm a known clown with things like this, but the intention is to no longer post fics. I will finish Tickletober on AO3 and then take a break from writing. So yes, I cancel the swiftscribbles event too, sorry!
When I opened my laptop, I could see my old blog in its final hour lmao (I found out about the loss on my phone). So that's what the snap is from on a fitting grave. It was fun while it lasted!
Long version of the story:
Losing my blog(s): My Tumblr account with main blog + sideblogs got terminated overnight, it was quite the surprise! I've either been reported or tracked by bots. The posts are a bunch of numbered URLs I can't open, but the message is clear: for including anime content, genshin impact or media from other sources (whether it's videos, screenshots, official art, gifs or even fanwork) you technically can get a strike. Upon googling the claimer I quickly found this first, and knew it was a lost cause. Although it feels shitty and unlucky, I am in no place to appeal. It's like when I used to make AMVs in the past, you never knew whether a song or even anime footage was going to give your YT account a copyright strike or even a ban, it was a gamble. I have lost YT accounts before, and now I lost the Tumblr one. With 7+ years of tickle trash content and a bunch of sideblogs. But oh well, moving on!
Starting a new blog: It was a serious consideration whether this was my ultimate chance to do what I've always said I wanted to do eventually - quit my blog. My first thought was to ask Mia to share my explanation and literal goodbye with you guys, and stick to my chaos of a Twitter account to indulge in fandom stuff. But then I thought of how happy Tumblr made me, even without the fic writing, but just.. reblogging things, getting random asks, shouting about life and of course, about tickles. I decided to make a new blog after all, but also decided the following:
The 7K+ milestone swiftscribbles event is cancelled, for which I apologize! The follower milestone, together with the motivation to write the fics, and even the asks with the requests I got, all died with my former blog.
I will see how long I can survive without posting a new fic or drabble. A loose headcanon or two might fly around sometime. And if necessary, a link to a new fic on AO3.
Tickletober? Hell yes I'll finish it, I would cringe in bed for 49 days at least if I would stop. I just won't post the fics here, but on AO3.
Reposting/reblogging my old works? Undecided at the moment but I'm tired and lazy. I don't feel too upset since most of my fics are still on AO3 at least and not completely gone.
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Anyways, I'll see what happens and how long I can enjoy this nerfed version of blogging.
Surprisingly I'm not upset about losing my other blog, there were a lot of memories but it was also very cringe. I'm gonna be just as cringe here, but at least I feel cleansed.
For those who choose to follow me again, thank you, but please know that there won't be much original content coming from me, for now!:)
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vanessalocke · 3 months ago
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Why is official APH France an underrated character?
Today, I would like to repost a post about France that I wrote a long time ago. Please note that this post does not reflect my current views. Next, this is considered my personal blog, so if you disagree, please click back. And this post will only talk about what I (used to) felt about France in the official version, not exactly the France in my current headcanon and fanfic (even though that is the foundation for today).
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[This post is controversial and has a personal opinion. If you disagree, just skip over it. But also because this post is mainly to express my secret thoughts that I don't dare tell anyone, so it's completely hypothetical]
Okay, this is a post about why I like APH France, and why I don't see him the way most people see him.
In short, because his aura looks very bright and when he smiles he is very cute (like the photo below).
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I wonder when I fell in love with him, because it's been so many years, I can't remember. I will never be able to remember exactly how I fell.
Yeah pretty sure when people first watch Hetalia everyone thinks he's the typical sweet badboy, some people even say he's ex f^ck boiz and I'm no exception. But... damn, the more I follow this guy, the more I see his stereotype being wrong.
At this point it should be noted that when I talk about APH France, I am talking about France from 2011 onwards. It must be clarified that in the early days of APH, Hima's expression was quite dark. Maybe at that time Hima drew APH to be satirical or something, so not only was the plot quite ironic at times (and a lot of times he was sarcastic wrongly) but also the characters he built were very... But c'mon, MORE THAN 10 years have passed, just 1 year is enough to change people's way of thinking, let alone 10 years. Not to mention, APH does not have a specific plot or spirit to be consistent from beginning to end, so the later APH compared to the first APH has a completely different atmosphere and attitude, otherwise I want to say that APH has almost transformed into a new shape and only takes the first period as the root to develop. APH later became much gentler, lovely and brighter.
(When I wrote these lines, I still liked APH so I still defended it. Oh, what beautiful old days)
And I'll say it straight out that I didn't like the early APH. I also didn't like the way Hima built his characters in the early stages.
Okay, back to the main point. France is a very special character in APH. Why do I say France, not Italy - the central character, Germany - the king carrying the team, or Japan - the artist’s mother country? That's because when I read the early APH comics, I had a pretty clear feeling that the artist didn't like France.
It's not that he hated him, but he didn't like him and looked down on France a bit. Not to mention that Hetalia is strongly influenced by America's point of view and men often dislike France, think that French people are sissy. Basically, back then the way this artist looked at France was no different from the way everyone make memes "the white flag is the flag of France", "France is useless", etc. It was like everyone feels that this guy is very perverted, very annoying, very colorful, like a vase and can't do anything else. But like I said above, more than 10 years is a long process. Although the entire APH series does not have a consistent plot, Himaruya had a "development" in the way he views the main character he created. Partly because this is a series that takes references from real life and is not completely fiction, it is completely understandable for Hima to change the way he builds or even the perspective of his own character.
That's why later on France had a few solo episodes, all the deep emotions were attributed to France - something that is very contradictory to the "dark humor" stories he drew about France in the beginning. I don't know if it was to "compensate" for Himaruya pushing France down too much before.
Anyway, that's about the background. Below I will list the reasons I like this character:
- As for the character's personality, as I said, France has a very bright aura. I'm not talking about literary history or French reforms in real life, but just in the main story alone, I can see that there's something very... intelligent about him. Not trivially clever, but intelligence like, knowing a lot and understanding deeply. The fact that he is sharp and intelligent is also confirmed by the strip where he holds a knife to Prussia's neck and laughs.
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- Then there's the emotional aspect. From Jeanne d'Arc to Napoleon, it is completely obvious that France is a very emotional person, a bit childishly attached to those he loves. Yes, that's right, he always says "I'm the big brother of Europe" but when he's with people he loves, he's EXTREMELY childish, likes to act spoiled, likes to attract attention (For example, he was cheerfully excited when he was with Lisa or was chased by Napoleon).
- France's way of expressing emotions is very vivid. When he is angry, he will say that he is angry; When he feels sorry for himself, he bites the towel; If he likes attention, he acts like a clown;... but never once has he lost his temper to attack others just because he was hurt. I mean, from all the symptoms I've seen in France so far, I can determine that France can be arrogant, picky, and difficult to please, but I've never once felt like he lost control of himself.
- Yeah sure, when he broke into England's house, was talkative, wore a pink dress and had eyelashes, you can see that he no longer has any shame, but I like people like this. Funny, optimistic and extremely confident.
- He really likes to care and take care of others. This is based on:
1. He is very attached to his previous bosses (as mentioned above),
2, He cooks very well, people who like to cook and cook well are people who like to take care of and see joy from others,
3. On America's independence day, he not only patted America's head but also gave him the Statue of Liberty,
4, Italy often confides in France. France also works as a newscaster giving love advice to others, and he is one of the few people who not only is not afraid of Russia but even comes up to ask about the other person's health,
5. Do you remember the Christmas episode where England called and scolded France? That evening France was alone and looked down at Paris. In the episode about a soldier meeting France and wondering about the life and death of the nation, the ending is also a scene of France sitting and watching the flow of people passing by. France is not only proud of himself, he also loves being close to people and
6, I didn't include this but if you want to take an example from APH in the first few years, there is this scene: when England was so sick, France was really panicked and worried. Even without bringing a romantic perspective here, for me it is a genuine concern between human.
- He is mean, meticulous, and profiteering. Damn him. I don't understand how he can play with Spain. One person remembers that people owe him every penny, one person "Huh? Do I have debt? When did I owe it??"
- Actually... sometimes this guy's EQ is unexpectedly low, especially with things related to England. I don't know how, every time England shows a little interest in him, he always "?:D huh? What's going on? You're planning something with me, right? Let's get to the main point, why are you rambling on?". I don't know how many times Mr. Kirkland has sighed at this guy.
- He is only mean to other countries, but to ordinary people he is very gentle and loving. With women, he has distance but is not impolite.
- It looks radical but is actually extremely conservative. In fact, no matter how much his country reforms and changes, he always seems to be somewhat attached to the monarchy, always recalling his past. Not to mention that he is one of the oldest men in Europe, and he is always nostalgic for previous bosses. As an old man and a secret royalist, it can be expected that France is quite a conservative person.
- That's why the aristocratic blood is deeply ingrained in the personality. Except when he is in a joking mood, every scene of Hima drawing France always has something quite aristocratic. Not the type of strict and meticulous aristocrat like Austria, but the type of guy who wakes up and carries his messy hair out into the street but still looks beautiful.
- France has "an iron fist covered in velvet". He seems very easy-going and pleasant. There are many cases where others just need to beg him a little and he will give in. But in the cases where he said no, it meant no. When he is serious, he is very decisive and does not compromise. One time America broke down and asked for a drink, but he firmly refused (Yes, the fact that America doesn't know how to drink alcohol has been confirmed in official). When he met his idol's reincarnation, he disappeared completely after talking, leaving his idol to live her own life. When he collects debt from others, he is also very decisive LOL.
- He is very beautiful in a feminine way. Beautiful in a feminine way to the point of having to grow a beard and body hair to make people feel masculine. I bet he has endured sexual solicitation from old men.
- He has a lot of part-time jobs, from waiter to announcer to stylist. Was hired by England to be a chef at his place for a while => didn't go to work because of lack of money, but because he was multi-talented => liked to go on strike probably because he was "tired of being too good", because he is afraid that the world is not chaotic enough, because he is bored. He's not lazy, because if he was lazy he wouldn't go to work so much, and with his great body, I think he works out quite hard at the gym.
- Sometimes he's quite silly and weird. America just has a childish personality, but this guy is sometimes inexplicably euphoric. He cares too much about auxiliary things like clothes and hair accessories, but forgets about the main things. He argues with people about silly things. When he fights with people, he asks where the fabric comes from to make such beautiful clothes instead of focusing on fighting. When people asked his opinion, he always talked off topic. When people criticize him, he looks away, covers his ears, and whistles, "The weather is so beautiful today." He also raises dozens of silly birds.
In general, this man is not what he appears to be. He looks like a typical Don Juan but in reality he's mostly just an embellishment, seems mature but actually has a very childish temperament, seems to be sociable but is the type of person who can restore his own energy and doesn't need too much human attention. He doesn't seem to care about his appearance but is actually very proud. He seems heartless and shallow but is actually a thoughtful person. He likes to talk off topic, collect debts, drama queen- no, drama king. Extremely crazy and silly.
This guy's mind is so contradictory and complicated that the more I dig, the more interesting things I find.
And that's why Francis Bonnefoy is loved.
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Ps: let me tell you a little about the Zodiac: Francis is a typical Pisces.
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