#my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and i’ve heard chatter from friends about poto-related surprises so i wouldn’t be shocked

[kyannnite]

i’ve decided to keep a record of my current phantom of the opera-related collections… so. in order (under the cut):

1. my bookshelf, left to right:

- my first ever copy of phantom of the opera (de mattos, but also including a bunch of other gothic stories)

- a copy a friend gifted to me which is abridged in a very peculiar way where it completely leaves out the first chapter (de mattos, but without the first chapter)

- another copy of the de mattos translation that i used for my “intro to phantom of the opera” night with my boys (my friend group)

- lowell bair translation

- mireille ribiére translation

- david coward translation

- phantom by susan kay

- the phantom of manhattan by frederick forsyth (for those unaware. what love never dies is based on)

- dvd copy of phantom of the opera 25th anniversary performance live at the royal albert hall

- dvd copy of the love never dies proshot

- dvd copy of phantom of the opera (2004) movie adaptation directed by joel shumacher

- dvd box set + photobook of Studio Life’s stage adaptation of phantom by susan kay (is it entirely in japanese? yes. do i speak japanese? no. but they’re very good regardless)

2. a postcard a friend (pio thank you) bought me in paris that i have since framed and look at every day

3/4. POP MART universal monsters erik figurine (comes with a little rose and magnetic mask that you can take off and put back on)

5. incredible erik ornament that pio was also able to grab in paris at the palais garnier gift shop. he looks so silly (according to them they were very low on erik stock but the christine stock looked like no one had bought any. fucked up honestly)

6. i do have a few more things that pio snagged for me that i haven’t found places for yet. but i Will. and i am also going to try to track down my tickets/playbill for the LND US tour that i may still have lying around in my childhood home somewhere… a time before i realized how important seeing that performance was…

i’ll update this post with reblogs as i acquire more which is at this point inevitable. i’m in too deep. if you’ve read this far thank you for indulging me this was very fun to write

[ughdontbeboring]

Pay Back pt 2

Ez x Reader

Ez makes things a little worse before making them better

Warnings: um? Ez is a cheeky bitch? Lol, cursing, implied smut

Part One

Note: it’s short and I’m starting to realize it may not flow with part 3 so yea but it will be with the same couple just a different name since it’s not back to back but in the same AU.

Do not reuse or re post my works anywhere.

BUT do reblog,like,love and comment all that good shit if you fucking with it ☺️

@thesandbeneathmytoes hope you enjoy it!

It hadn’t been more then a few minutes after she walked out the room that her keen ears picked up on the shower turning on. She laughed to herself,

��that’s right baby take a cold one.” She said mostly to herself.

“Quién?” Carmen asked her. She looked up startled from her thoughts, to see all 8 women staring at her. She cursed under her breath knowing they wouldn’t drop it until they knew what was going on. Nosy bitches.

So like girlfriends do she filled them in on what had happened, not going to into full details about EZ well endowed ness, since 2 of the women she didn’t really know. They were friends of the birthday girl, one of her besties Deja.

“He’s gonna be so grumpy til you give him some” Shanice said laughing, “I feel bad for the guys when he goes to the yard for his shift”.

“Well that’s what he gets” you said shrugging your shoulders, and quite frankly that wasn’t even the full punishment, y’all still had to talked about it.

“Girl pleaseeeee” Deja said playfully sucking her teeth, “Yo ass gonna give in, I’ve seen photos of the man and on FaceTime a few times and ain’t no way you staying off of that”.

Now was your turn to suck your teeth as you scrunched up your face.

“Chill he alright Sis” you said lying through your teeth as all your girls started yelling and laughing calling you out on your bullshit.

“¡Basta ya!” You fussed before laughing. “Enough about me and my man that’s on punishment, let’s get this birthday brunch for my boo thang started!” You yell hyping the group up.

Everyone picked up their champagne glasses and toasted to the birthday girl.

The round table you had brought in especially for the occasion to fit all 8 women was packed with food, drinks and beautiful decorations. The whole front of your house was actually, decorated to the 9s. Pink and white everywhere. Conversations were in full swing, the noise level was definitely up there, women speaking to another across the table and such. It had been a good 40mins since Ez started the shower, there was no way he was still in there. The only times you’ve known him to stay that long is when y’all were fucking in the shower or when he took baths with you. You shook your head as you pushed the thoughts out of your mind not wanting to let yourself get excited at the table of women.

What you didn’t know was Ez had spent the rest of his shower after finding his release thinking of a way to get you back, to tease you as you did him, to match your cruelty after such a long time apart. A week was too long in Ez’s eyes. And if you wanted to play games he was all for it.

You were so engrossed in taking your selfie with Imani and Shanice, you didn’t hear bare feet lazily thud down the hallway. And you didn’t notice the chatter come to a abrupt stop at first. The silence only catching your attention as you heard your refrigerator door open and a deep sigh from you right.

A scowl graced your face as your eyes took in your shirtless boyfriend standing and drinking OJ out the carton, refrigerator door covering the lower half of his body. In the moment you remember how much you hated that refrigerator, old ass thing. You couldn’t wait for your new one to finally arrive.

One of the girls cleared their throat as they all stared in awe of the shirtless man before them with the exception of Shanice.

Ez turned slowly as if he didn’t know there was a full ass birthday brunch happening at the moment. He eyes found yours and you could see the challenge in them with a hint of lust still lingering from earlier.

“Oh ladies, my bad I didn’t remember there was a brunch party”.

All the women started to speak at once save for you and Shanice, who maybe even rolled her eyes harder then you at the women’s desperate attempt at getting Ez’s attention.

“Princesa wheres your manners?” He asked before he shut the door and strolled just a bit closer.

One of the women behind you dropped her champagne glass, the breaking glass the only thing to be heard over the gasps of the women. Even you gasped. You couldn’t believe him! Ezekiel fucking Reyes stood in front of you in a white towel hanging low on his hips. His tan body even tanner from the summer sun of south Cali. And dick print in full view. The thick long print held the gaze of all the women and Ez didn’t even try to hide the boyish grin that covered his face. Your friend Rebecca started to cough on her champagne.

“I’m Ez, the boyfriend”.

All the women stunned by the sight. He strolled just a bit closer since you were at the end and leaned down to kiss your head, his towel coming face to face with you. You bit you lip, your sure if you opened your mouth drool would just pool out. As mad as you were a big part of you was turned on.

“Pull it down” You heard whispered from someone in the group behind you, your head shot back to glare at the women, not fully sure who said it as Ezekiel chuckled.

“I’m about to head out baby, don’t wanna be the only cock in the hen house” he smirked as he turned to walk away, “Oh Feliz Cumpleaños Deja” he threw over his shoulder with a smile.

And just like that he was off into your bedroom. Your once chatty dinning room was now deathly quiet as all the women sat in shock. You knew most of them probably never even seen a man that half a divine as your, or what he was working with. The body that looked like God sculpted it with his hands taking his time along with all body parts.

“Sisssssssssss” Imani said as she looked at you with a proud face.

“I-“

“Girl your man is BLESSED, and you one lucky puta”. One of Deja’s friends said.

Lucky wasn’t a word you would use to describe how you felt in the moment. Mad, annoyed, horny were some. But you knew once you got over this you would definitely feel blessed and lucky. If Ez wanted to play this game you’d play.

But as much as you wanted to you wouldn’t go into the room it was a set up. And if you did you’d let him fuck your brains out while your girls listened.

“Who wants henny?” You asked as you got up and walked to the kitchen, desperate to focus on something else.

Another 20 mins had past when Ez walked out. Still shirtless, but this time had his white short sleeve shirt and kutte in his hand. His denims hanging low with white boxers visible and a sliver chain hanging on his belt next to a knife.

Again the women watched as you rolled your eyes while walking past him into the kitchen again. He slipped his shirt on and then his kutte before leaving against the counter to watch you angrily grab forks for the cake.

If you though Ezekiel would just leave with saying a proper goodbye to his annoyed girlfriend you were wrong.

“Babe”

There was no answer with your back still to him as you grabbed a large cutting knife. Before you could shut the draw you felt a firm hand grabbed you arm and pull you back, almost making you lose you balance in your heels, but his other hand snaked behind your back to help you stay steady. And then his mouth was on yours in another passionate kiss, it was all so fast your head was spinning. You were so caught in the kiss you didn’t care about the 8 sets of eyes on y’all getting a free show. The forks laid on the counter as you free hand went to grabbed his face and your would hand with the knife on his shoulder. You made sure it wasn’t close enough to cut but your brain wouldn’t work properly for you to actually put it down. Your moans slipped into his mouth as his large hands roamed down to your ass, slowly spreading your fat ass cheeks in your short dress. You felt a hardness near your lower belly and pushed back. Both out our breathe as you stared at each other in a daze.

Ez licked his lips before kissing you forehead again, “I’ll see you later baby” he said before working to the door. Nodding at the ladies as he passed them.

A shit eating grin graced his face as he heard one of your girls say “dammmmmmn chica you dickmitized off that biker” before the door had shut and stepped into the summer heat.

Ez sat on his bike while putting his helmet on, he had to think of something good to make up for missing last night, and he’ll prob need Shanice’s help to do it. He decided he would text her later as he started his bike before pulling out into the street.

x

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Comfy, my darling, I come requesting the delight that is Jaskier as Persephone! Please and thank you 🐺🌼

HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY BABE!!!!

Ily and i’m very glad we’re interweb friends!!!

Pomegranate Seeds

I took some heavy creative liberties here and twisted the myth a little bit for the sake of the vibes. Geralt is Hades, Jask is Persephone and that’s the only character crossover bc I wanna give them all my attention. There will be more too 🥰

Warnings: ...none? jask runs away? its greek but like we got rid of the shitty bits.

______________

Geralt seethed as he stalked up the winding path through the gardens of Mt. Olympus. He liked the underworld. It was his home, his realm, and more importantly, his brothers never ventured there without warning. He grumbled about the ‘fucking humans being needy and bothering him’ as he cut through an orchard.

As he neared the largest tree, he slowed his walk, feeling his irritation melt away little by little as he heard an entrancing voice floating from its upper branches. The song was sorrowful and filled with a simmering resentment Geralt had never heard anywhere but his own thoughts. He came to stop under the tree and leaned against its trunk, listening in rapture. 

When the voice went quiet, he spoke without thinking, “That was beautiful.”

There was a yelp and a couple cracking branches before a young god dropped almost gracefully to the ground, “It’s rude to eavesdrop.”

“Is it?” Geralt chuckled, still leaning against the tree and watching the god closely as he righted himself and brushed his soft brown hair out of his eyes, “I live with the dead. They don’t talk much.” 

“Oh?” there was a flirtatious glint to the younger god’s blue eyes before he finally put two and two together, “Oh! Oh no, you’re- shit- My apolog-”

“No need,” Geralt interrupted, “I intruded on your singing,” he hummed with a sly smile as he brushed past the confused god to amble along his path to the wretched meeting he was due at. 

“I- well, yes you did! Why?” the god seemed to get his wits about him as he jogged to catch up. 

Geralt shrugged, slowing his walk, “I… appreciate the lyrics.”

“I’m Jaskier. By the way,” the singer bounced along in front of Geralt, walking backwards as he chattered, “You appreciate my mourning the loss of my autonomy? That I am forever to be singing in a garden to make things grow just because of my mother?” 

“Demeter’s Jaskier?” Geralt frowned, knowing very well how Demeter liked to control her human pets. He couldn’t imagine how… well yes. He could imagine what kind of a controlling mother she would be. Gea had been no picnic after all. 

Jaskier wrinkled his nose and nodded. 

“You don’t want to sing?”

Jaskier spun on his heel and fell into step next to Geralt, “I love to sing. But I want to do it for me. Making it a duty sullies the… the…” he trailed off for a bit, staring at the blossoms and fruits in the trees with his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Geralt found it unreasonably endearing and waited patiently for him to find the word.

“When I sing for myself it is cleansing. When I do it for others it feels disingenuous and wrong.” Jaskier decided. Clearly, he had been spending time with the muses. 

Geralt nodded, “You want more than what you’ve been offered here.”

“Yes!”

They had, to Geralt’s dismay, come to the edge of the orchard.

Geralt stopped and faced Jaskier, a slight upturn in his lips, “Maybe you should find what pleases you.”

Jaskier smiled like the glittering diamonds embedded in the walls of Geralt’s palace, nodding fervently as Geralt turned to go. Just before he was out of reach he heard the singer whisper, “I think I just did…” 

_

Geralt paid even less attention to the discussion than usual, his mind wandering back to Jaskier. He decided, as he glared at his brother boasting of his bastard child and that bull thing he’d made, that he would find Jaskier and… and what? He wanted to whisk him away to his realm and spoil him with fine jewels and the most delicate of silks. He wanted to hear that voice and see that brilliant smile everywhere he went. 

But that was selfish.

How could someone so full of life and ambition ever be happy in the underworld? He couldn’t possibly expect Jaskier to leave the color and warmth of the surface world behind for a shadowy cave system that barely qualified as Geralt’s palace. There would only be Geralt and the Furies for an audience, for the most part, and the only trees in his courtyards were haggard at best. No child of the harvest would flourish there. 

He left the way he’d come, hoping to find Jaskier in the orchard again, but he was long gone by the time all the other gods had aired their ‘concerns’. 

Weeks passed and Geralt found himself even more withdrawn than usual. 

His time was spent glaring down at his pathetic little courtyard with the one tree still bearing fruit. He had always been resentful to have been stuck below ground, where the humans feared him and the other gods judged him for having made a home. Bitching and moaning wouldn’t make anything better, so he played the hand he was dealt and enjoyed his solitude. But now? Now he was simply bubbling with rage. Had he been made god of the sea this wouldn’t be a problem. He would pick a comfortably private but not secluded inlet, build his lovely little singer a castle, and spend all their free days wandering the beach.

Not that he’d laid awake at night thinking about it. 

He dealt with his duties with a biting tongue and vicious sneer as he pondered what to do with himself. 

Nothing seemed to satisfy.

Finally, he made a decision. He would pay Jaskier a visit and ask to hear the song one last time. Just once before he promised to leave the lively singer alone. 

When he arrived at the gates to Mt. Olympus, he expected to have to search for Jaskeir or at least search out his voice.  

Jaskier, however, was furiously charging down the path, his angry scowl turning into a feral grin when he recognized Geralt, “Oh! Hello! This is perfect! I was just coming to find you!” 

Geralt blinked, “Find me? Where would I be but home?” 

“Here. Apparently,” Jaskeir pointed out, with raised eyebrows.

“I’m here to find you,” Geralt smiled, feeling something akin to hope soothing the loneliness that had nested in his chest. 

Jaskier positively beamed, “I have chosen to find what pleases me. And now that I’ve found you, I would be eternally happy if you absconded with me to your realm.” 

If he were nervous or hesitant in the slightest, Geralt couldn’t see it even as he looked for any hint in his features. 

“You want to come with me to the underworld?” Geralt frowned, not believing his ears.

“Sounds more fun when you say it my way,” Jaskier answered, rubbing at the back of his neck, that little bit of embarrassment and worry finally showing through his facade, “but yes. That is exactly what I want.”

“I have no gardens.”

“All the better.” 

“I would be your only audience.”

“You’re the only audience I’ve cared about since I met you,” Jaskier’s tone became defiant as he puffed up his chest just enough for Geralt to think he did it unintentionally.

Geralt let himself melt a little bit more with his every reply, “The sun doesn’t warm your face in my home.”

“Are your eyes not a brilliant golden warmth enough?”

Geralt blushed for the first time in centuries, “If it is truly what you want…”

Jaskier hesitantly stepped closer, staring Geralt right in the eye, “I want you.”

[writingsfromhome]

Nuclear Family I

A/N: As requested (accidentally deleted the ask soz) a Dad!Harry where you visit him with your daughter and you live together as a family even though the reality is far from it. But for the sake of your kid you put up with it. The next part gets better promise!

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V

--------

“Charlie don’t get too far,” I call out to my three year old. She gives me a disappointed look but I return one of my own and she drags her feet back to me.

Sometimes it felt like it had always been just me and Charlotte and other times it was hard to believe it would be almost four years since I’d had her. The moment she was born-two weeks early-on a rainy August day, I knew I made the right choice to keep her.

“When are we getting on the airplane?” my daughter pouts. She reminded me so much of her father with her bold eyes framed by her lowered brows. I remember when I held her for the first time in my arms and she blinked up at me, her big eyes were a dewy field reflecting her father. It was then that it hit me that no matter where he and I were on earth-we were still somehow connected. And since I was still in love with him then, it hurt. But I learned soon to pour my love into Charlotte and focus on raising her the best I could.

“We’ll be boarding soon." I pick her up and hold her on my knees to keep her from running off again. This was my first time travelling with her-her father generally came down to LA a few times a year to visit her so we never had the need to make the trip. This time, for her fourth birthday, we’d decided to go to London and stay there for the month. And since I was my own boss, I could take my work anywhere.

“I want to see daddy,” Charlie whines.

"We will babe,” I try to soothe her.

“Daddy” was Harry Styles, the Harry Styles. We met through a friend over six years ago when he was in LA. Up until meeting him, it felt like I was living a grey version of my life. Our chemistry was explosive and our connection instant--colouring my world a vibrant hue. We were in love-so in love I moved to London a few months later to be with him and it was going perfectly until I got pregnant. We agreed to keep the baby-it was a no brainer, but as the months went by and the reality sunk in, our relationship took a hit. Suddenly we were arguing about insignificant things, Harry stayed out late with friends or in the studio and wasn’t as supportive as he should have been, and I wasn’t happy. When I brought up the separation Harry looked almost relieved-which hurt. When I brought up moving back to LA he was enraged, but after a few days he agreed. Now, our Charlie saw him a few times a year when he lived in LA and she would stay with him. Our interactions were limited to picking her up and as I’d heard it Harry had a steady girlfriend for the past year. Despite all that, I still loved him. What we had was unlike anything I’d felt, seen, or read about before. I knew he'd felt it too, the music he released spoke the words he never said. But the ugliness of the last few months of our relationship always kept me from remaining wistful. Harry didn’t want commitement. He only had room in his heart for our daughter and I was fine with that.

We were staying around the corner from Harry’s at an air bnb for convenience. Ever since having Charlotte, I hadn’t been outside of the US so this was exciting yet daunting. The idea of seeing London again, all my old friends, and Harry gave me a rush of mixed emotions.

The landing and locating of our luggage had a few bumps and a minor tantrum but our taxi takes us to the flat where we are met with the hostess.

“There’s been a terrible mistake,” she wrings her hands as we stand in the heat of the summer afternoon.

“What kind of mistake?” My heart drops and there’s a tugging on my dress. Charlotte demands to be picked up.

“We accidentally booked another couple to the flat.” The woman responds.

“What?” If I wasn’t this tired, I would be shouting. “How can you make a mistake like that? I booked this well in advance!”

“I understand,” the woman says. “Your booking must have been accidentally cancelled and I-the couple is fine with sharing the flat-”

“I have a small child with me as you can see,” I cut her off not going into detail why our privacy was extremely important. “I’m not living with two strangers when I secured the place for all of August. This is bullshit,” I spit out, forgetting Charlie could hear me. This trip was not going how it should be. “I’m contacting air bnb and-”

My rant is cut short when my phone vibrates. Harry.

“Hi,” I answer.

“Daddy!” Charlotte yells into my ear. I hush her with a glance and try to listen to what Harry was saying.

“-landed? I was trying to reach you where are you?”

I sigh and give the woman a dirty look. “We’ve just arrived at the bnb and apparently there’s been a ‘mistake’ and it’s double booked so now I don’t know where-”

“Shit, stay with me,” comes Harry's steady voice.

“I couldn’t,” comes my own, slightly less steady voice. Staying with Harry would be bad for me. It would only stir old emotions back up and make it harder to leave once again. I just knew it.

“I’m right around the corner Y/N. Just stay until you find another place at least.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I agree and order an Uber, giving the woman a piece of my mind before I go.

Charlotte had fallen asleep on my shoulder in the midst of all of it so I struggle with the child, our luggage, and my phone when I reach Harry's.

“I’ll be right down,” he says. My stomach is suddenly doing sommersaults and I can barely feel my legs. I saw Harry near Christmas! Why was I suddenly so nervous?

“Hey,” Harry enters the lobby in a black shirt and jeans and his glasses sit atop his mess of hair. “You look lovely Y/N, but that’s nothing new.”

Harry's grin is like a crack in the ice surrounding us and I give him a quick hug hello.

“Let me get that.” He grabs the luggage and we wait for the elevator again.

“She fell asleep,” Harry brushes our daughter’s hands and she shifts on my shoulder.

“She’s been doing that since the ride,” I say. “I think jet lag is already doing her in.”

Harry smiles at her and the tenderness in his gaze holds me captive. It was a while since I saw Harry look like that.

Harry gets the luggage onto the lift and I follow him in. The mirrored interior reflects the glimpses he takes of me but I stay staring forward, not wanting to give in.

“Won’t your girlfriend mind?” I ask Harry when we enter his flat. “That we’re staying with you.”

“About that,” Harry scratches his nose. “I’m sure she’ll understand. We should talk though…about the trip.”

“Of course, let me just put Charlotte to bed.” Harry points out the spare room and I can tell Charlie will like it here with the amount of stuffed animals Harry's decorated the bed with. She was spoiled.

“So you can stay as long as you want here,” Harry begins. “Or if you want to find someplace else I understand. Whatever you feel comfortable with.”

He holds my gaze as he talks and I nod along. It was all very proper and polite, almost as if we’d never had anything more than a friendly relationship.

“What’s your schedule like?” I ask. “I know we already figured things out but if I’m staying for a few days here will I be in the way of anything?”

“I’m filming in a few days, I took a lot of time off the next couple weeks for Charlie but that’s it. Then I'm in the studio after that." Harry scratches the back of his head. “Just make yourself at home don’t worry what I’ve got to do.”

“I don’t want to get in the way. I know we didn’t plan for this,” I flush. Harry reaches over and squeezes my shoulder.

“I want you to feel comfortable, love...”

I’m suddenly 21 and Harry and I are on one of our first dates at a bar. He holds onto my hand and tells me he really likes me. He asks me if we wanted to take our relationship past the dating stage. I’m giddy and drunk on love and kiss him yes.

“Mom?” A small voice calls out.

“Yes!” I jump up and shake the memories off, rushing to the spare room. Charlotte sits up in bed with a frown on her grumpy face. “I’m right here babe.�� I scoop her up and she holds onto me, already holding a stuffed koala in the other hand.

“So you’ve met Mr. Blake.” Harry walks into the room and points to the koala.

And just like that Charlotte is jumping into her dad’s arms and bubbling with laughter, explaining how his real name is Oreo. My heart squeezes watching the two interact. Charlie is more awake than before the plane ride as she continues with her endless chatter. Harey is wide-eyed and drinking in everything she says. She says something funny and he throws his head back laughing, kissing the side of her head while she giggles. Seeing them two made my heart full.

“Momma I’m hungry,” Charlie says abruptly.

“You must be,” I look at the time. “It’s been a while since we ate.”

“Let’s have an early dinner out,” Harry suggests.

“That’s not necessary-” I try to say but Charlie cuts me off with a big cheer and soon Harry joins in and he’s off with her riding his back with her hands clasped tightly around his neck. I would never win with those two together so I find my wallet and join them.

“I didn’t realise how much I needed this,” Harry says on our walk to the restaurant. It was a ten minute walk Harry wanted to take, reassuring me that we wouldn't be bothered. Charlotte holds her dad’s hand and stares in wonder at the new city around her. “I can’t believe you-she-Charlie hasn’t ever been down here.”

“She was so excited to finally see where her Dad lives,” I laugh at the image of her bouncing off the walls in happiness.

“I think the weirdest thing for me is that my baby has an American accent,” Harry comments.

“I never thought about that!” I laugh. “At least she won’t be saying things like crisps and the loo!”

“Oi that’s offensive,” Harry jokes. “My english is just as good as yours mate!”

“Now you sound Australian!” I tease.

Harry laughs and bumps his shoulder into mine.

“Australia has kangaroos,” Charlotte comments randomly.

“We’ve got a clever one,” Harry winks at me. “They’ve got massive spiders too.” Harry says to our daughter but little does he know she actively picked up spiders.

Charlie starts jumping like a kangaroo and soon Harry picks her up and sits her on his shoulder where she shouts to anybody who listens that she was on top of the world.

“I always tell people she’s got that energy from her dad,” I tell Harry quietly. There a shine to his eyes as he looks to Charlie and she looks down at him and shouts it louder.

“My mum and dad were thinking of coming around this weekend to see her,” Hadry suddenly says.

“That would be nice for her. To see her family,” I say.

“I mean you’d be there too?” Harry says.

“Oh, right.” My mouth dries at the thought of having to see his family. They were a great bunch but the way Harry and I ended things so abruptly was an uncomfortable reminder. “I’ll try to make it.”

“Charlie can have some sort of a normal family dinner,” Harry jokes.

“Both parents and grandparents? That would make her trip actually.” I say with a little bit of sadness. Charlotte wouldn’t grow up with both parents like Harry and I had the privlege of and that hurt me thinking about it.

“I wish she could have that all the time,” Harry sighs. He glances over at me as he says it and there’s something unspoken. But Charlie grabs a fistful of his hair and he has to get her down in her drunken power.

The restaurant is cozy and Charlie talks a mile a minute with the attention of both her parents. Every so often when she says something ridiculous or something related to an old inside joke from years past, Harry will glance over at me with a smile. It’s a secret language between us, and I swear I even feel his hand brush my own but I chalk it up to accidents. Harry had a girlfriend, he had no business doing that with me.

It gets more confusing later that night. Harry had plans to go out at 8 and Charlie falls asleep by half past 7. Being in LA time, I stay snuggled in the couch, watching a random movie Harry recommended. My eyes drift shut halfway but I’m awoken by a bang. My eyes squint in the dark as my hand feels for my phone. 1:47AM the bright display reads.

“Sorry,” comes a voice. The lights flick on and Harry stands dishevelled in the clothes he went out in. “I was trying to keep quiet I di'know you were sleeping!”

He was drunk-whispering which meant his voice was only slightly lower than normal. He stumbles towards me and falls onto the sofa, yanking his shoes off with a great deal of effort.

“Were you sleeping?” He asks me up close.

“I guess so,” I respond. “Did you have a good time?”

A part of me feels awash with sadness, the dull and familiar ache settling into my chest. Another part of me is angry at myself for still being in love with a man who could not love me the same way.

“It would have been nice if you came,” Harry reaches out and twists a strand of my hair. “Are you naturally a brunette?”

“I am,” I say gently. “You should drink water before bed.”

“No-no don’t start taking care of me!” Harry puts a pillow on his lap. “I’m supposed to be taking care of my girls. But I’m doing a shite job I guess.”

He stifles his laugh. I try to stifle the pang in my chest when he says 'my girls’ because it meant nothing more than just words. I couldn’t afford to read into these things. But when Harry switches the pillow to my lap and lays his head down, all self-control gets chucked out he door.

“It’s been so long since we talked,” Harry tries to whisper again. He reaches out to touch my hair again, his fingers lingering on my face before lowering to his side again.

“You came to LA a lot,” in my statement is also an accusation. He never came in to my apartment or asked me to go out.

“You never invited me in,” Harry says quietly.

“Surely I did?” I tell him.

“No,” his reply is almost a sigh. I realise maybe I didn’t make it so explicit.

“My mistake,” I admit. “But you know you were always welcomes.” I trace the bridge of his nose.

“I know,” Harry says with a boyish smile. “I was slightly nervous when we were on your terf. I didn’t ask either-you’re right.”

Involuntarily I brush my fingers through Harry's hair. Instantly, his body relaxes with a sigh as he closes his eyes. So I remove my hand immediately and nudge him.

“I should go to bed,” I wait for him to clumsily get up. We walk to the stairs together where Harry wishes me goodnight. He leans foward and misses my forehead by an inch, kissing my eyebrow instead.

“Night,” I back away into the spare where Charlotte sleeps, rubbing my eyebrow. In bed, I try to sort through my feelings. My eyes land on the sleeping body next to me and I pull her into me. She was all I needed, I try to remind myself. I was only here for her. Harry and I were never getting together again.

[starlightrows]

Something Sweet

Chapter 2 - Scoops and Scones

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Series Masterlist

Pairing: Modern!Paz Vizsla x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: None!

Summary: You are welcomed with open arms into the group Paz told you about, and feelings start to bloom as the spring turns to summer!

On Tuesday you make sure to wear something kind of cute that you can wear to meet everyone after work. You want to make a good first impression, but also not be overdressed. You’re excited and a little nervous all day, the steady stream of customers keeps you busy. Springtime is a great time of year for business because lots of people have birthdays and anniversaries, lots of weddings too!

Just after 7 pm the door to the shop opens, and the bell above the door chimes. Paz steps in and marvels at how you have the shop decorated.

“Did you do all of this yourself?” he asks

“Yeah!” you reply, delighted in his interest “I love a good project, and I’ve been planning how I wanted this to look my whole life”

“Well it looks incredible, you did a great job!” he says

You blush a little and smile “Thank you”

You finish closing out the register for the day, make sure all of the lights in the back room are turned out and the heating is turned down before stepping out with Paz and locking up. He walks beside you, leading you a ways down the street towards the bar his friend Boba owns. Paz pushes open the door for you, and you see a group of people laughing and chatting sitting at a big round table.

Everyone looks up from the conversation and enthusiastically welcomes you and Paz in. They all stand up coming to introduce themselves and shake your hand. Of course you’ve already met Din. Boba owns the bar and hosts these Tuesday night hang outs, he’s a slightly older man with a bald head and a firm handshake but he’s quite welcoming. His business partner Fennec, a pretty woman with sharp features and a kind smile. Cara, who owns the boxing studio on the opposite side of the street. And Peli, a short firecracker of a woman with curly brown hair, owns the auto parts and maintenance shop around the corner.

They already have a place set for you at their table and start filling you in on all of the goings on in this city and their little group. Boba gets you a beer, and insists friends don’t pay. They tell you about the locals who come around to their various businesses, events happening at the clubs and bars a little further into the downtown area, they recommend restaurants you have to try, and ask you all kinds of questions. Where you’re from? What brought you out here? How did you get into botanicals? You answer their questions, laugh with them, talk with them and have a great time.

Then the conversation takes a bit of a turn… “That guy came back?” Cara says with an annoyed tone. The group groans, and hums with disapproval.

“What guy?” you ask, not wanting to pry if it’s a sensitive topic but she also said it in front of everyone so you figured it would be a fair question.

“Gideon” Cara spits

“He’s a high and mighty investor with a silver spoon in his ass that’s been bothering everyone that works on this street and next couple blocks,” Fennec explained “He’s trying to convince everyone that lives and works around here that we should sell out our businesses to him,”

“Why?” you ask indignantly

“He’s got this idea of turning the whole downtown area into a high end shopping and restaurant district,” Paz says “Which would be fine if this was a really big city with people that could afford to go to places like that every weekend. But this isn’t that type of city, and not the right kind of community for that,”

“Hmm” you sip your beer “sounds to me like he wants to change the city itself. Push out the locals and turn this into a major city” you say

“That’s exactly what he wants” Boba comments “that and to make tons of money”

“But he hasn’t been able to convince a single business owner around here to budge” Peli tells you “All of us are here because we want to be here. We worked hard to get to where we are and maintain our businesses. We’re not about to sell out to a sleaze like him”

“He wasn’t happy when the people I inherited by storefront from sold to me instead of him” Paz admits “and he’s probably pissed you got yours on the open market before him”

“So that means he’ll probably come around at some point and try to talk me into selling” you conclude

“Probably” Paz says darkly. He doesn’t like the idea of Gideon hanging around your shop… talking to you… trying to intimidate or manipulate you into selling out your shop to him.

“Don’t worry you guys” you assure the group “I worked too long, and too hard to hand over my dream to an asshole like that”

“Atta girl!” Cara claps your back and the group gives you a cheer of approval.

The conversation turns back to casual chatter. The group splits up so some people can play a couple rounds of pool and others can still sit and chat. You have an amazing time, it’s been so long since you actually got to hang out and have fun. You could see yourself coming to these group hang outs every week and becoming close with everyone in the group.

Eventually the night does come to an end. Din has to get home to his son and his girlfriend. Paz needs to get home and go to bed so he can be up early to get the bread in the ovens in time so they’ll be ready for customers in the morning. And you need to be getting home as well, there’s a big delivery arriving tomorrow morning and you need to be at the shop earlier than usual to receive.

You bid everyone goodnight and promise them that you’ll be back next week to hang out again. Paz walks with you out to your car.

“Thanks for inviting me out tonight” you say

“Told you, you’d fit right in!” he grins

“Mind if I come by tomorrow morning for one of those amazing breakfast sandwiches?” you ask him, as you reach your car “I’ll bring you a cup of coffee”

“It’s a deal!” he says smiling at you

There is something in the air… you don’t want to leave… he’s so kind and so attractive… but no, you steal yourself and get into your car. Pulling out of the parking lot with a gentle wave. Paz felt it too… damn he wanted to kiss you. But he literally just met you a few days ago… no matter… he’d see you in the morning.

———

The next few weeks go by, spring turns into summer. You continue hanging out with the group on Tuesday nights, they teach you to play some card games you’ve never heard of and you try fun and interesting cocktails Fennec invents. No matter what you always land up laughing and having a wonderful time. Paz has been teaching you to shoot pool, and walks with you every week to join the group. Your little crush on him is growing, and people are starting to notice.

“You like him,” Cara points out. You’re sitting at the table with all of the girls playing cards while the guys are shooting pool.

“Who?” You try to sound nonchalant

“Paz” Fennec chimes in

“He’s my friend!” You try to defend yourself

“Yeah,” Peli says “but you like him”

“Okay…. so maybe I’m attracted to him, so what? He’s my friend and he brought me into the group, I don’t wanna mess that up” you explain

“He likes you too” Cara says, placing down her cards and effectively winning the round. Everyone around the table groans and slides over game chips to Cara.

Over at the pool table the guys are having a somewhat similar conversation.

“Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, pal” Din says while lining up his shot.

“What?” Paz looks over to Boba thinking their friend was actually sick. Boba is eyeing him with a quirked brow and a smirk.

“Lovesick” Boba shakes his head while Din takes his shot “incurable and terminal… damn shame”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Paz moves around the table to get a better view of the ball placements

“You” Din says with a laugh “swooning over Miss Flowers over there”

Paz gets distracted and completely misses his shot. His head whips around to look at you. Giggling and talking with the others. He looks back to his friends, and shakes his head.

Paz stands back up and rubs the back on his neck, Din’s not wrong, he’s got it bad for you. “You think she’d go for a guy like me?” Paz asked them

Boba and Din rolled their eyes, “You’ve lost your touch Vizsla” Din says “she hangs on your every word. Yes she would go for you”

Still at the end of the night Paz walks you to your car, just like always, and says goodnight without asking you to hang out one on one.

Another week or two passes just the same as always. Hanging out on Tuesday’s, stopping into the bakery to pick up some bread every now and then, seeing each other in passing with a smile and wave.

One Tuesday evening Paz is hanging out in your shop while you close, like usual when both of your phones ting with the sound of a text message. It’s Boba saying he had to close the bar for the night and he wouldn’t be able to host the group tonight. Apparently it’s not an emergency or anything, he just had to leave town to go “take care of something”

“Well that’s ominous” you joke

“Boba’s an odd guy” Paz laughs “he’s got a history, but he changes the story every time you ask him”

You shake your head and laugh, agreeing that Boba quite the character. “Well… I haven’t had a free Tuesday night in months” you joke

“Well since I know you’re free right now” Paz says, working up a bit of courage “wanna go get ice cream or something?”

“Oooh yes!” You say excitedly “Have you been to that place that makes the fancy rolled ice creams down on 10th?”

God he’s so relieved you said yes…. “Yeah, it’s really good”

The two of you chat and laugh as you walk from your storefront down a couple blocks to reach the ice cream place. You both order fun and pretty rolled ice creams and sit at one of the outdoor tables, enjoying the warm evening and each other’s company.

“See now that I’ve got everything up and running, I really want to start trying to make pastries to sell at the shop” he tells you

“Have you tried anything yet?” You ask

“Well I tried making chocolate croissants from scratch but apparently they are ridiculously hard to get right” he laughs “so I’m looking for simpler things to start with”

You laugh with him, and agree chocolate croissants are deceptively difficult to make correctly. “What about scones?” You ask

“Scone? Like those British cookies?” He asks

“Well sort of, they’re more like blank canvas bread” you explain “because the base is so simple and basic you can jazz them up anyway you want. Sweet, savory, fruity, chocolate… I even like doing meat and cheese scones”

“That’s actually not a bad idea” Paz says thoughtfully “You got any good recipes I can steal to work off of?”

“I do actually. Old family secret” you say mischievously “but lucky for you, the old family is not here to curse me for leaking the secret” He laughs and shakes his head.

“I could teach you sometime” you offer, having a moment of bravery “I mean, they’re not difficult to make or anything, but I… uh… I thought it could be fun”

“No no” he says quickly “that would be great if you could teach me. Are you free this weekend?”

Your cheeks heat up a bit and you smile “Yeah, I’m free this weekend”

“Come over on Saturday evening?” He asks “I’ll cook you dinner as a thank you?”

“Yeah, that'd be great”

———

Saturday can’t come soon enough… you flip back and forth in your head between this being a “real date” or not… you thought about texting the girls but decided against it.

On Saturday you wear something cute but comfortable, something you don’t mind getting dirty from baking but presentable in case this actually is a date. You pick up a nice bottle of wine on the way over to his apartment.

At the door he greets you with a hug and thanks you for the wine, welcoming you inside. His apartment is nice, well decorated and clean. Better most men’s apartments you’ve seen in your day. It looks like he’s got his shit together.

“Dinner is almost done,” he says. You look around to see that he doesn’t exactly have a dining table, the space isn’t quite set up for it. But he does have a peninsula that functions as a dining table. It’s already laid out with plates and cutlery, with a small sweet smelling candle in the middle.

“A baker and a chef” you laugh as both of you start in on the beautiful chicken parmesan he made.

“I wasn’t always” he says with bit of a bashful smile “Just a few years ago I was exclusively a boxed Mac n cheese and canned peas for dinner kinda guy”

“That’s a pretty drastic change, what prompted that?” you ask, enjoying your dinner just as much as the conversation.

“Moving out here actually,” he says “I used to live back east in the big city… had a shoe box of an apartment with no real kitchen and a dead end job… not a lot of motivation to cook. Coming out here, changed my life for the better”

You sip your wine and listen, as he describes what it was like living in the city and commuting for six hours every day, and his life changing trip out here to visit Din.

“It was actually my dream to move here when I was a kid” you tell him “I’m from a tiny little town way up north, and everyone used to talk about this place like it was the big city ya know”

“So what prompted your big move here?” He asks

“Well I’ve been saving up to open my shop for years, and working really hard to make this dream come true… but I woke up one morning and felt it in my bones that I needed to search the property website again…. and I am so glad I listened to my gut because I got my storefront pretty much the minute it got posted”

“Man.. luck was really on your side that day huh?” He finished his plate, and sips his wine

“Oh yeah, count my lucky stars every day!”

Paz wipes his mouth on his napkin, seeing you’re just about finished eating as well, and begins clearing the table. You help him wash up, despite his protests.

“Come on chef, if we’re gonna make scones we have to have a clean work station right?”

He agrees and the two of you get the workspace all cleaned up, just to mess it all up again with flour and butter and toppings!

They don’t actually take that long to bake, but you’re both a little flour dusted while you teach him to make a simple glaze for the citrus orange flavored batch.

When the scones come out of the oven the sweet batches get glazed or sugared, and the savory batches just need to cool. You ask to use his restroom to freshen up a bit so you wouldn’t get flour or butter on his nice couch, while you wait for the scones to cool to do a taste test.

To your delight, his bathroom is clean. And not just… cleaned up like there’s no clutter on the counter. Actual hand soap that’s appears to be regularly used, a liner in the trash can, more than just a five in one shampoo/body wash in the shower, and the mirror is clean! Either Paz deep cleaned in anticipation for your… not exactly a date?.... or he has his shit together… or, more likely both!

You spend the rest of the evening laughing, talking, sampling the scones, writing down flavor ideas together, and yeah definitely flirting. Somehow you get on the topic of music.

“Oh yeah, the city does free concerts in the park on Friday nights” he tells you “you bring a fold up chair and some snacks, and get to listen to free live music!”

“That sounds so fun! This city really knows how to do community events!” You put down your pen, having just finished writing down an idea.

“It’s amazing, you would love it” he says “would you want to go? With me?”

Your heart skips a beat “Yeah” you say softly with a smile “Yeah, that sounds like fun”

Featured Recipe: Simple Scones

Tag List: @gallowsjoker @simping-for-clones @mxndoscyarika @hayley-the-comet @blackmarketmummy

[baby-bearie]

take me home - part 3

(not my gif)

jj maybank x reader

a/n: literally 3k+ of fluffy fakeness lol. i promise next chapter is a little more exciting. also, sorry about how late this one is. 

“The Dating Things”, as JJ called them, turned out to be the easiest part of having a fake boyfriend. JJ’s hands felt comfortable, almost familiar on you. Around your waist, your shoulders, on your thigh. 

“Here, Kiara’s looking.” After only a week, you were used to cueing him into Rafe and Kiara’s angry glances. For the first couple days, he was a little clueless. You would have to pick up his arms and drape them over you before their eyes turned away. Eventually, he got the hang of it. Once you pointed out the looks coming your way, he was automatically more than a few inches closer. 

Soon enough, he became insanely good at noticing the stares and glanced even before you did, and startled you whenever he suddenly tugged you towards him. 

You were currently right by his side on a log. The bonfire in front of you was roaring already, illuminating the faces of the people sitting around it. JJ chattered eagerly with a couple of tourons near you two. You glanced up from the fire but immediately shot them back down when you met Kiara’s blazing eyes. The fire just made them that much more intense. 

You jammed an elbow into JJ’s side. He winced, turning to you in annoyance before you gave him a look. He immediately recognized the meaning behind your glare and subtly snaked an arm around you. Kiara diverted her eyes then, down to the sandy earth again. 

“Success,” you whispered. JJ smiled and turned back to his momentary friends. You elbowed him again to get his attention once more.

“Ow! Would you stop doing that?” He yelped.

“JJ, you remember how I said my mom wanted to have you over for dinner sometime?” You whispered. Now is as good a time as ever. 

“Yeah? Why?” 

“Well, sometime is tomorrow.” You sheepishly smile. 

“What?” JJ’s eyes turn into saucers. 

“Yeah, she’s making a whole chicken. She’s very excited.” 

“Tomorrow night? Why are you telling me this now, there’s no way we’ll be able to pull this off!” JJ’s voice is getting a little too loud for your liking, but he notices too. 

“C’mon, we’ll talk. I’ll walk you back to your place.” JJ grips your hand abruptly, yanking you up and pulling you away from the bonfire. 

“JJ, it’s really not that big of a deal. The only one in my family who would be angry about me and you would be my dad, and he’s in California on business. You have nothing to worry about.” “I have everything to worry about here, Y/n!” JJ drops your hand as soon as you’re out of sight from the pogues, walking nearly sideways to face you as he talks. “First of all, you have a little sister. Isn’t she like eight? I’m not exactly a little-girl type of likable.” 

“She’s nine.” You correct him. 

“Second of all, the whole point of this was to make Rafe think we’re some super cutesy couple, right?” He gesticulates wildy. 

You don’t answer, wondering if that was really what was behind you and JJ’s relationship. 

“Right?” He tries again. 

“Okay, maybe it was. So, what?” 

“So, if I mess up in front of your mom, it’ll eventually get back to Rafe, won’t it? He knows you well enough, Y/n. I’ve seen the way you guys used to look at eachother. He’ll see right through our bullshit!” 

JJ’s accusation stops you in your tracks. “What does that mean?” 

“What?” JJ gets a little bit further before realizing you’re not with him. He turns around to face you. 

“What?” 

“What does that mean?” You crinkle your face. 

“I mean, you know.” JJ raises his eyebrows and gives you a look. 

“No, I don’t know! What does that mean?” You’re getting defensive. You don’t mean to, but you know what JJ means. And you don’t want to. 

“C’mon, Y/n. It’s obvious you and Rafe have, I don’t know, unfinished business?” JJ finishes his sentence slowly, trying to not set off any fuses. 

“Okay, fuck you, JJ.” You scoff. 

“C’mon, Y/n! It’s nothing bad, you guys just have a history! All I’m saying is he still knows you really well! Probably better than I do!” You start walking again, a lot faster this time. JJ jogs to catch up to you. 

“Maybe, but what Rafe Cameron and I did or didn’t have isn’t any of your business. And it’s definitely not yours to shove in my face when I’m obviously trying to put it behind me and get away from him.” You draw your brows together. You know your anger is bordering completely unjustified, but JJ makes it seem like Rafe Cameron knows you inside and out. 

You hate the idea of that. The idea that the you that Rafe could read like the back of his hand is the same you that he aggressively flirts with. You hate the idea Rafe doesn’t see you any different than he used to. 

You hate the idea that Rafe became a whole new person, and you stayed the same. 

“Yeah, okay, trying to put it behind you?” It’s JJ’s turn to scoff now. His voice is edged with annoyance. He walks backwards to stay in front of you, his whole body tense. You keep your eyes trained straight ahead, refusing to look at him as he glares at you. 

 “Right, so if you’re trying to put it behind you, then why are you trying to act like you’re with me? You’re obviously not over fucking Cameron if you’re throwing you and I in his face like this.” 

All the anger falls off your face and is replaced by hurt. Fucking Cameron? Is that why he is so certain about your history together? He thinks you slept with Rafe? 

If JJ thinks that, how many more people do? “Fucking Cameron?” You whisper. 

The way you pause again seems to make JJ realize what he’s just said to you. His whole face washes over with regret, his mouth opening, then closing again in surprise. 

“Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that.” He shakes his head. 

“Right. Right, of course. You have a nice night, JJ.” You begin to speed-walk again, trying to put as much distance between you and JJ as possible. 

“Y/n, wait! Y/n! Where are you going?” JJ yells after you, but he doesn’t follow you. 

You turn around again, forcing a small smile. 

“I’ll meet you at two tomorrow by the ferry, okay? If you’re going to ruin my dinner tomorrow, you should at least do it in a nice suit.” 

JJ laughs, exasperated, and shakes his head. He rubs his forehead for a second, looking anywhere but you. 

When he finally meets your eyes, he looks tired. 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you at two.” He nods. 

You press your lips together and nod, folding your arms and continuing your walk back home. 

This time, alone. 

The next day at two, JJ is already waiting for you when you get to the port. He has sunglasses on, but judging by the logo on the side, he definitely shoplifted them. 

His tank top is thin, but he’s shaking the bottom of the shirt up and down, as if he’s fanning himself. It’s scorching outside, the sidewalk could be frying you. 

“Hey,” he pushes himself off the railing he was leaning on. “You ready?” 

JJ’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, which are searching your face apprehensively. 

He thinks you’re still mad at him. 

“The real question is are you ready, Maybank. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m kind of a makeover queen around here.” You bump his shoulder and he puffs out a breath. He grins again, and this time, it’s a genuine smile. 

“Makeover? What do you mean, makeover?” The smile falls as he processes your words. 

You grab his arm and pull him up the ramp onto the boat.

 “You didn’t say anything about a makeover, you said I just needed new clothes. Y/n, what do you mean makeover?” JJ frantically presses you with questions. 

He complains the whole ride over to the mainland, pestering you about what exactly you have in store for him, but you refuse to show him the list you’ve made. You have to move your hand far away from him whenever he reaches for the little piece of paper.

 You know JJ could easily overpower your smaller arms and take the list if he really wanted to, but he won’t. He just likes reaching for it and watching you giggle at his grabby hands. 

When you’re finally on the street, you uncurl the paper you’ve been tightly clutching onto this whole time. JJ peers over your shoulder, glimpsing at the list. You lean back, holding the paper close to your face. 

“Okay, well, lucky for you, first things first is just the fit. Let’s go, I know a place.” You stuff the paper into the pocket of your jeans, setting off to the small shop where your mom bought your dad a new suit for his birthday.

“Okay, are you trying to make me feel poor?” He stares at the shop window in front of him, mannequins displaying expensive button ups and shoes. 

“Settle down, I’m paying.” You pat his arm. 

He raises an eyebrow as he looks at you. “You are?” 

“Yeah,” you nod, “the one with the balls usually pays on a first date, right?” You smirk, swinging the door open and rushing into the air-conditioned store. JJ follows.

“What? What did you just say?” JJ follows you around like a lost puppy. You sift through a pile of stiff, collared, button up shirts stacked on a table, draping a few over your arm. 

JJ leans forward over the table of shirts. “Did you call this a date?” He smiles knowingly. 

You blush a bit, but keep your face focused down. “You know what I meant.” 

JJ hums in agreement, pressing his lips to keep his smile small. 

“You see anything you like?” You ask him. 

“I don’t know what I like around here, you’re paying.” He follows after you as you scan through black trousers. You pull a pair out and unfold them, holding them up to JJ’s hips. 

He jumps back, startled. 

“Hold still,” you mumble, putting the too-short pants back and pulling out a bigger size. JJ raises his hands so you can hold the longer pants up to his legs. “Hold these here?” 

JJ huffs, but puts his hands on his hips to hold the trousers up. You lean back to check the sizing, then realize how stupid he looks. Before he can move his hands and drop the pants, you whip out your phone to snap a picture. 

“Delete it.” JJ drops the pants into a bundle in his arm and points at your phone. “Now. Delete it.” You clutch your phone closer to you. “But what if I need to get them altered or something?” 

“Y/n.” JJ’s voice is monotone, but his eyes are dancing with joy. He lunges for your phone and you squeal, jumping back and darting behind a shelf of cologne. JJ maneuvers around it and runs after you, rushing through racks of sweaters and khakis. He catches up to you quickly, his stride surpassing yours. 

He flings an arm around your stomach, yanking you back against him before he swiftly grabs your phone. He keeps you pinned to him as he holds the phone up, out of your reach and deletes the photo.  

He releases you and you stumble as he tosses his phone for you to catch. 

“Asshole,” you grumble, picking up the pants you dropped running from JJ. 

You wander the store for a while, gaining odd looks from the other shoppers as well as the cashier ringing up clothes.

Once you’ve been satisfied with the enormous mess of clothes JJ is cradling in his arms, you shove him into a dressing room. You crash in one of the comfy leather chairs outside the rooms. 

After a few minutes of JJ crashing around and the sounds of hangers clashing, the room falls silent. 

“JJ?” You knock.

“No.” His voice is firm.

“No?”

“I look horrible. Like someone’s grandpa.”

“I don’t trust you to judge fashion. Come out here.” You back away from the door, and JJ begrudgingly shuffles out.

He’s wearing a maroon crew neck over a white collared polo and khakis. He turns to face the mirror, tugging at the collar of his shirt. 

You suck a breath in. “No, you do look like my grandpa.” 

JJ gives you an unamused look through the mirror. 

“In the best way possible!” You follow up.

“You’re not making me wear this.” JJ points a finger at you, retreating back into his dressing room. 

“Wait,” You push the door open just as he’s about to close it. “Here.”

You pull out the black trousers and a black suit jacket. You shuffle through the huge pile of crumpled clothes he’s dumped there. You eventually find what you’re looking for - a navy blue button down. You push the clothes onto JJ’s chest. 

“Try those.” 

JJ rolls his eyes, but accepts the clothes and pushes you back out. 

“Y/n, this is even worse.” He groans as he pulls on the jacket. 

“Would you stop complaining and let me see you?” 

JJ keeps grumbling but comes out of the dressing room. 

You had expected the outfit to look good, but you weren’t expecting it to look that good on him. 

“It’s, um, it’s alright.” You nod slowly, blinking away you thoughts. 

“Alright? That’s all? No rude comments?” JJ smiles. “Who are you and where is my Y/n?”

You try not to react to JJ calling you ‘My Y/n’ as you stand to fix the way he’s bunched up the shirt to tuck it in. You smooth out the wrinkles in his jacket when his hand catches yours. 

You meet his eyes. They have the same look in them that they did last night. 

“Hang on,” he speaks quickly and quietly. “I’m sorry.” 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about last night. It was out of line for me to say that.” He holds eye contact as he talks. 

“It’s okay,” You break it first and focus on the jacket again. 

“No, it wasn’t. Rafe is just a,” He pauses, “sore spot for me. I’m sorry.” 

“JJ, it’s alright. I was getting angry over nothing, really. I overreacted. I guess it’s a sore spot for both of us.” 

JJ lets go of your hand then, letting them fall back to your sides. He purses his lips as if he’s thinking, but simply nods and leaves you outside alone once again. 

After he’s taken the outfit off and returned himself back to normalcy, you take the clothes from him. 

The cashier gives you some more looks as you pay for everything. Your family has been shopping at this store for decades. You’re sure they’re not used to the ladies of your bloodline dragging in boys with muddy sneakers and thin tank tops. 

JJ lugs the bag along with him to more shops as you move down the list. Shoes first. You browse a few watches in a jewelry store but ultimately decide you can easily give him one of your dad’s many old ones. You nearly convince him to let you take him to get a haircut but he’s too stubborn and oddly protective of his hair. 

After you’ve dragged JJ around for a couple of hours, and his arms are sufficiently dragged down with shopping bags, you usher him back onto the ferry back to the island. 

Your legs are tired, and JJ’s arms are tired. 

To keep him occupied and from complaining, you point out obvious tourists on the boat : an obscene amount of sunscreen, usually carrying bags and always wearing such fancy outfits. JJ turns it into a game: you sort each person on the boat into either pogues, kooks, or tourons. Or at least which category they would fall into if they lived in the Outer Banks. You take the game another step, and begin to create elaborate life stories for the people. 

You’re mid-monologue, trying to explain why the little lady with a large Sunday hat and a string of pearls obviously murdered her three ex husbands and now finances the wealthy lifestyle of her and her poodle’s with the inheritance money when JJ’s head lolls onto your shoulder. 

He’s fallen asleep. Your heated speech trails off and you sniff for a second. Do you wake him up? You consider it for a second, but he looks peaceful. There’s a serene look on his face that you’ve never been able to see when he’s awake. Instead, you lean your head against his. You mean to just close your eyes for a moment, but you black out before you know it. 

You’re suddenly shaken awake by someone grabbing your shoulder. It’s the elderly couple that sat a few rows in front of you. JJ had claimed that he was certain they were high school sweethearts that went on to rob banks together. The woman shook you awake, and is smiling sweetly down at you. 

“Hi, sweetheart, we’re unloading.” There is no way this sweet lady was a bank robber.

JJ wakes up as you stir. 

“JJ, get up, we’re here.” You shrug your shoulder a little, and JJ picks his head up. 

The old couple begins to leave again. For a second, the old lady leans down and whispers to you. “You two make a very sweet couple. Remind me of us when we were that young.” 

She pats your shoulder and follows her husband. 

“Bank robbers,” JJ groans as he stretches besides you, obviously not having heard what was just said. 

A sweet couple? You know you’ve been playing as a couple, but do you really look the part even when you don’t need to be seen? 

Once you’re on the dock and wide awake again, you deposit all of the bags onto JJ. 

“Ask Kiara for help getting ready if you need it. That’ll make her insane.” You smirk. 

“Genius. You make sure Rafe hears that I’m coming for dinner.” He points out in return. 

“Look at us! We make a pretty good fake couple.” You raise your hand for a high-five and JJ slaps it. 

“Okay,” You check your phone for the time. “It’s 6:45ish now. I’ll see you at eight at my place, alright? Don’t be late!” You emphasize the last part. “Late? Who, me? You must have the wrong person.” JJ fakes confusion. “Oh, shit, did you say 6:45? I told John B I’d be back by 6:15!” He yelps. 

“Bye!” You yell after him as he runs further and further from you. 

He would definitely be late tonight. 

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[floralguccistyles]

epilogue

...he probably loves you

After four months of dating Niall, our families and friends still couldn’t believe it. 

Apparently, Niall’s feelings had only been apparent to my sisters, because when we told our parents that we were dating, they had stared at us with supportive confusion. Niamh had mourned the loss of the five hundred dollars four our Jamaica trip, but she had thrown an arm around my shoulders and congratulated me. And then, in a surprising turn of events, had started crying when Patrick announced he couldn’t contain himself anymore and proposed to her shortly after Niall and I had made our announcement. 

Niall had just smiled his beautiful smile at me and pulled me closer into his side, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“I’ve just realized!” His mom shouted in the middle of our movie. It was Greg’s pick tonight, so naturally he had chosen a Disney movie that Theo would actually be interested in. His wife had already dozed off to sleep, pregnant with number two and according to Greg, “unable to stay awake for more than five minutes.”

“Christ, Mum,” Greg complained, jumping from her loud exclamation.

“We can get Rose and Niall couples gifts for their birthdays!”

Niall raised his brow. I was curled up against him, my own eyes falling shut every couple of moments. The new job working for Eric’s brand was exhilarating and exciting, but it was a lot of work getting a start up business off the ground. Often, I would come home late and simply collapse on my couch while Niall took pity on me and made me dinner.

“Mum, our birthdays are five days away. Have you not gotten us anything yet?” he joked, his thumb running back and forth across my arm.

“You’ve always been hard to shop for,” his mum said simply, waving us off, her brain looking like it was going a million miles a minute with the new possibility of a couple’s present. “Not you though, Rose. You’re an angel to shop for.”

I grinned up at Niall. “I’m an angel,” I whispered.

His nose wrinkled. “Whatever.” But he quickly kissed my nose, ignoring Violet’s protest against PDA.

Violet was sitting on the floor by my feet, her nose buried in her phone as she waited on a text from the cute guy in her summer anatomy class she had a crush on. She had been hesitant to tell me about him, but three weeks ago, at one of our weekly-Thursday lunches, she confessed that he’d asked her to study with him. After hearing that, I had pushed and demanded she show me a picture and tell me his name.

He seemed nerdy and sweet. His name was Arjun, and he had helped her study for the final, where he stammered his way through the entirety of their study session before blurting out that he thought she was pretty and wanted to take her on a date.

They had been texting each other back and forth since. 

“Don’t make a big deal out of this,” she had told Lily and I while we gushed over how cute it was that she had a crush on someone, especially after her good friend started dating the last guy she’d had feelings for. 

Lily, on my other side, was leaning on the arm of the couch, her eyes slowly blinking in and out of sleep. She officially had her law degree and was going through what her coworkers lovingly called “Hell Year.” Her first year of being a lawyer and dealing with all the shitty cases was getting to her. However, she still managed to drag herself to our weekly lunches and had even mentioned that she had decided to go on a weekend getaway to London with Carmen, her coworker.

Violet caught me looking at her phone and shielded it from my view. I just playfully kicked her side.

After the movie, Niall drove us back to my apartment. It was nothing special, just a one bedroom, one bath. But it was mine. And while I still didn’t sleep all the way through the night except on the nights when Niall stayed over, I was working on it. I unlocked the door and let the both of us in, kicking off my shoes and flipping the light switch on.

Before I could take another step, Niall’s arms were around my waist and his mouth was on mine. I would never get tired of his kisses, of the way his hands would tease under the hem of my shirt and touch my heated skin. He always kissed with an eagerness, the kind of happiness that only someone who had been in love for a long time possessed. 

“It’s so hard to sit next to you at family functions,” he sighed out against my lips. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Unlike my mother, I already got your birthday gift.”

“If you say my birthday gift is sex with you, I might actually have to hit you.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “That would be your birthday gift to me, Rosebud.” 

I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. We hadn’t taken that final leap into our physical relationship yet. He was cautious and I was still unsure it was something I was ready for after my incident with Kent. The group I had been attending had been a huge help and I got coffee with Wendi and Carlos (two sexual assault survivors I had met and befriended at group) occasionally. Still, there was a small part of me that wondered if I would ever truly get over it.

And I wondered if Niall resented that.

He saw the look on my face and his smile melted away. “I didn’t mean it like that, Rosebud. You know that,” he said softly, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

“I know,” I replied, “I know. I’m sorry I’m a piece of work.”

He shook his head, his arms encircling me and pulling me into his body. “You are not a piece of work. You’re the girl I love and will continue to love, no matter what boundaries you set. You know that. Nothing could make me love you less.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder, letting out a contented sigh. Every time he told me he loved me, I got butterflies in my stomach and my lungs stopped working properly. “You staying over tonight?”

“If you want me here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I always want you here, Niall.” 

He kissed me again, his lips soft and gentle. “Mind if I shower really quick?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna make some hot chocolate.”

I watched him walk up the stairs, a smile on my face when he turned back to wink at me. When I heard the shower start up in ym small bathroom, I turned towards my kitchen and grabbed two disposable coffee cups and a Sharpie. Niall liked his hot chocolate made with the little chocolate sticks I bought at the store, so I poured milk into the saucepan and heated it before depositing one of the little sticks inside. He was also a big baby who demanded the little marshmallows, so I grabbed the bag from my pantry and set them on the counter to add to his drink later.

My heart was pounding. I had been planning this for a while, but just tonight felt confident enough to do it. So I poured his hot chocolate into his cup with shaking hands and raised the Sharpie to the side of the cup, scribbling down the message. I still had pictures of all the notes he’d written me, including the one from this morning, when he had written “love you more than you know, Rosebud.”

And he did. He loved me more than I could ever comprehend. The four months being with him, he had never failed to show me just how much. He held me when I woke up with a nightmare, kissed me on the forehead when I was frustrated with work, held my hands when I got home from group. But I’d realized the things he’d done for me before, too. Like picking me up when Lily couldn’t, staying on the phone with me when I asked it of him, always making me laugh. 

Niall Horan truly loved me. More than I’d ever been loved.

And I needed him to know that his feelings were reciprocated.

I heard him before I saw him. He was loud as he walked over my hardwood floors, chattering on about some thought he had in the shower. I should have been a better girlfriend and listened properly, but my hands were still shaking and I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest and run away. I turned, catching sight of him in his comfy black sweats and a white tee with that signature grin on his face.

“I forgot my shampoo at my place, so I used yours and now I smell like a lovely lilac spring.”

Just like that, my nerves evaporated. I didn’t know how Niall did that, make me so sure of myself, but he did. This man loved me. And I loved him. He deserved to know how much and not have me chicken out at the last minute. 

I walked over to him, giving him a little sniff. “Very nice, very manly.”

“Nothing manlier than using my girl’s shampoo. Just shows how much I love her.”

“Is that what it does?” I asked playfully, reaching his cup out towards him. He took it in his hand, bringing it up to sip at it.

“Hey, you put in the little marshmallows this time,” he commented happily, taking another drink before he pulled the cup back. His large thumb covered my small writing, but he caught the tail of the ‘y’ and maneuvered his hand so he could read it. I saw the moment the words caught up with him, the moment he registered what I had written.

I love you more than you know.

“Rosebud…” His voice was delicate, like it could shatter in a single moment. “Do you mean it?”

In lieu of a response, I took the hot chocolate cup out of his hands and set in on the coffee table. I grasped his face in my hands, giving him a watery smile. “Thank you for being patient with me. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” he breathed out. I felt honored and cherished when I saw the tears in his eyes just from my simple confession. “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. So much.”

The earth could have collapsed around us. The ground could have opened up and swallowed us whole. All that mattered was Niall as he surged forward and kissed me hungrily, his tongue delving into my mouth to tangle with mine. His hands were tightly wound in my hair, but didn’t pull or tug. He just held me there, like if he let me go I would dissipate. He’d never kissed me like this, but I’d never kissed him when he was a Niall who knew how much I loved him. And he’d never kissed the Rose that had finally stopped running and admitted her feelings to him.

“My birthday present to you feels shitty now.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled to the surface. “This wasn’t your birthday gift.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “This was more. So much more.”

He kissed me again, his touch sure and unwavering. “Thanks for loving me, Rosebud,” he whispered, repeating my words from so many months ago. 

So I decided to repeat his back. “It’s the easiest thing in the world, Niall.”

~

Oh my god. Wildflower is over. I cannot believe this. This started as a random thought in my head one day because I needed a good friends to lovers but with a twist, and suddenly Rose was born. This is the first story I’ve finished on this blog and will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you to everyone for reading this little story and for all your support. I refuse to let go of Niall and Rose forever, so don’t be surprised if I write little drabbles for them, but I’m excited for what the future holds in terms of my writing. 

I give one big giant virtual hug to all of you. You don’t know how much you guys mean to me.

[pcychedelic]

Purple Rain (Part II)

Relationship(s): Kim Junmyeon/Reader

Tags: Professor-student relationship, college AU, slowburn; angst, smut

Rating: Explicit (mature themes, strong language, and sex)

Synopsis:  After a fateful encounter that results in the trunk of your car getting wrecked, the handsome stranger responsible for it turns up in your lecture hall and introduces himself as the professor.

Chapters [Word Count]:

Part I: Chapters 1 to 5

Chapter 6 [3.6k]

Chapter 7 [3.8k]

Chapter 8 [3.4k]

Chapter 9 [6.0k] + Chapter 9.5 [4.2k] ᴺᴱᵂ

Next update to be determined

Click on the links above to read the latest chapter on Asianfanfics (AFF).

Friendly reminder that mature words are censored when you’re reading as a guest on AFF, so make sure to log into your AFF account and turn off the content filter to read the chapters without censors.

Read Chapter 6 below.

Chapter 6

The urgent knocking on your apartment door interrupts you in the middle of making dinner. You glance at the wall clock, the time reading 9:01 p.m., and you wonder who could possibly be at the other side of the door at this hour. You aren’t expecting anyone this late at night.

You pad toward the door in your bare feet. A familiar face greets you when you peek through the peephole, though the sight of him standing outside your apartment door isn’t familiar at all. It’s so strange that you have to remind yourself that you aren’t dreaming.

You open the door.

“Junmyeon?”

“Hi,” he smiles. “Can I come in?”

“Uh…”

“Were you studying?” he asks, already taking off his jacket. “I hope I’m not bothering you. I should’ve texted first, but I kinda came here on a whim.”

You shake your head. “No, no. I was just making dinner.” You open the door wider and let him inside, bringing him house slippers to change into.

“What’s for dinner?” He looks around your apartment, his eyes eventually settling on your kitchen counter. A smirk creeps into his lips when he sees the pot of water over the stove and the noodle packs. “Instant ramen,” he says. “How very… college student of you.”

“Hey!” you protest. “I happen to like instant ramen, thank you very much. It’s delicious and it’s cheap.”

Junmyeon scoffs as he sits on the couch. “You’ve deluded yourself into liking it because it’s cheap,” he corrects. “Stop eating that garbage. Your body will thank you in ten years.”

“I’m sorry, what are you doing here again?” you ask, because you’re pretty sure that he isn’t there to just criticize your dinner choices. “And how did you come up? Mr. Bong just let you?”

You’re not sure if you’re seeing things, but you can swear you just saw Junmyeon’s cheeks blush a little. “Oh, your doorman let me up because… um, because he saw us…”

“Oh.” Now you’re blushing, too. “Right.”

You know that he’s talking about the night of your birthday, the night he drove you home from Esperanza, the night you kissed.

You still remember everything about that kiss, even the tiniest of details. You still remember how Junmyeon’s lips still had a faint taste of strawberries because of the ice cream the two of you shared before he drove you home. You still remember how his perfume smelled like lavender, warm and comforting. You still remember how soft his lips were, and even now, about a week later, a phantom of that kiss still lingers over your mouth.

It had been everything you imagine it would be, and more.

Definitely more.

“Water’s boiling,” Junmyeon says, reeling you back into the present. You head toward the kitchen and put the noodle squares into the pot. Junmyeon follows you, this time settling on a seat at the dining table. “I came here because… Well, I wanted to talk about that night.”

Your heart suddenly feels a bit too heavy on your chest. He’s here to lecture you again, isn’t he?

“I’m sorry,” you tell him.

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything. But you feel him stand up from his seat and walk toward you, coming closer and closer until he’s close enough that the skin on your neck tingles from his proximity.

“I’m not,” he whispers.

“You’re not what?”

“I’m not sorry.” You turn around, and the first thing you see is Junmyeon’s chest. He towers a couple of inches over you, so you have to look up to meet his eyes. “I’m not sorry,” he repeats. “God knows how many times I’ve imagined that happening. I know it’s a wrong thing to imagine, but it’s true. And I’m not sorry.”

“Jun—”

“But,” he cuts you off, “that doesn’t mean we can be reckless now. I like you. A lot. Maybe more than a lot. And I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, which is why we have to be careful.”

“I understand.” Truly, you do. Junmyeon has said it over and over again, that he doesn’t want you to get in trouble because of him and especially now that you’re just a few exams away from graduating.

After all, you know now how Junmyeon feels about you. I like you, he had said. That’s a guarantee you didn’t have before, and now that you do have it, it makes the complications more bearable.

“You only have about a month and a half left,” Junmyeon says. “After that, we’ll talk again. If our feelings haven’t changed, that is.”

You shake your head. “I’m afraid my feelings aren’t going anywhere. Not sure about yours, though…”

Junmyeon laughs, his cheeks beaming as he does. “My feelings don’t change so easily, either.”

“Are you staying for dinner?”

“I can’t,” he says. “I have to grade a bunch of term papers. I still haven’t read and graded yours, to be honest. Besides, I’m not really a huge fan of instant noodles.”

You playfully slap his arm. “Stop making fun of my dinner.”

“Alright,” Junmyeon laughs again, and you can swear that it’s the sweetest sound you’ve heard all your life. “Good luck on the rest of your finals.”

Before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, “Don’t I get a kiss? For good luck?”

The smile dissolves on Junmyeon’s face. He steps toward you, walking until his face is only a couple of inches away from yours. He cups your cheek in his right hand, the pad of his thumb brushing your lower lip. An electric jolt races up your spine.

But he pulls away.

“No more kisses until graduation,” he says.

You had expected this, but it was worth a try. “And after graduation?”

“We’ll see,” Junmyeon says. You catch the corner of his lips curling into a smirk once more before he suppresses it.

* * *

On your way back home from your last final exam, you run into an old friend at the convenience store you always go to after school.

You almost hadn’t recognized him. The last time you’d had a good look at him had been a couple of months ago, and that hadn’t exactly been a friendly encounter.

“Chanyeol?” you call incredulously as you approach him by the beverage section of the store.

The last time you’d seen him, his dark mop of hair had been long and unruly, almost covering his eyebrows. Now it’s bleached strawberry blonde and cropped short, like a military haircut that has grown a bit longer, the undercuts fading from the crown. Chanyeol has always been handsome, but the clean hairstyle has accentuated his features even better.

“Long time no see,” he says in that deep voice that used to tie your stomach in knots. It still does, actually, but maybe not as much as before.

“Your hair… Wow.”

You can’t stop staring at him. He doesn’t quite look like the Chanyeol you knew, but at the same time, seeing him look so differently floods your brain with so many memories, and surprisingly, none of them are bad.

Perhaps it’s because he looks like a better version of himself, the version you’ve only seen in the happy memories you have of him, the version you would’ve enjoyed to get to know more back when you still loved him.

You still feel something, especially now that he’s standing right in front of you, but you’re sure that it isn’t love. It’s more of a what-if. No other term can encapsulate Chanyeol better. What if.

“Is it bad?” Chanyeol asks shyly, running his hands through his new hair. The dimple that you had always found adorable appears on his cheek as he smiles.

“No, no. It’s good. It’s very good.”

Chanyeol laughs. “That’s a relief. I thought it looked horrible on me since everyone can’t stop staring.”

“Well, it’s just that… You look so different.”

“Yup,” he says, “that was the idea. I wanted to be different. Figured I should look the part while I’m at it.” He looks down at his feet, and swallows nervously. “Listen, um… I’d like to talk about a few things, if that’s okay with you.”

You stare at him for a while, trying to gauge his expression. He looks apologetic — sad, almost — and you can tell which direction this ‘talk’ would be veering toward.

But there are still some loose ends to tie up, and you figured that this conversation is long overdue.

You nod. “Sure, Chanyeol. Let’s talk.”

  The afternoon is relatively cool for an April one. The streets are filled with college students going out to eat and whatnot, filling the air with the buzz of chatter and laughter.

You and Chanyeol have taken a table outside the convenience store, a rectangular umbrella sticking out of its center and hanging over the two of you. Wisps of steam rise from the cups of coffee you’ve bought from the store. Neither one of you has drank.

The tension in the atmosphere is thick, not with resentment, but with awkwardness. It’s as if the two of you have forgotten how to talk with each other. You want to ask him, How did we end up like this? but you already know the answer to that.

Finally, when you can’t stand the silence any longer, you say, “What did you want to talk about, Yeol?”

The nickname feels strange as it rolls off your tongue, like it no longer belongs there, but you say it anyway to show Chanyeol that you no longer harbor bad feelings toward him.

You’ve forgiven him, even if he hadn’t apologized properly, because that’s the only way for you to stop hurting. And it has worked. So far, at least.

“Right,” he says. “I’ve talked to Kyungsoo and Jihyun, too. About the, um, way I’ve been acting for the past months. I’m sorry about ghosting you guys suddenly. It’s just that… I needed a lot of time to myself. To think about the shit I did. I’m sorry if it took so long for me to figure out.”

“I understand,” you answer.

Not It’s okay or It’s fine or any of that. I understand. That’s the best you can give him — your understanding. You’ve forgiven him based on that, but that doesn’t erase the pain he’s caused you.

Chanyeol continues. “I’ve apologized to Kyungsoo and Jihyun about those things, and you’re the last person I wanted to apologize to because… well, you’re the one I hurt the most.”

The cups of coffee have gone cold on the table, and so has your heart.

“I know that apologizing doesn’t cut it, but still, I’m sorry,” says Chanyeol. There’s no question about the sincerity of his tone. It’s the most genuine sentence you’ve heard from him in all the years that you’ve known him. “I’m sorry that I led you on, that I took advantage of how you felt for me, that I didn’t think my actions through when I was with you. I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. None of it is. It’s me. It’s all me. I was too afraid of my own feelings. That’s the truth.”

You stare at him, your throat beginning to tighten.

Chanyeol’s eyes are traveling everywhere except on you. You’re not sure if you’re just imagining things or if his eyes have really turned watery.

“I know that nothing’s gonna change what happened before, and I’m not even entirely sure if it’s gonna change anything now, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the things I did, the things I’m doing right now that I may not even be aware of, the things I’ll do in the future. I’ll never do anything intentionally that’ll hurt you, I just fuck up sometimes. I’m pretty sure I’ll fuck up in the future, too, but I’ll try to be better. I’ll try if it’s the last thing I do. I care about you. A lot.”

The awkwardness seeps back into the air. Chanyeol picks up his coffee, which probably doesn’t taste that good anymore, and takes a small sip from it.

“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago, Yeol,” you say after a few seconds of silence. “There’s nothing else to forgive. But I appreciate your apology.”

It’s true. What’s done is done. Neither of you can do anything about the bad memories you have of each other now. All you can do is move past all that.

Chanyeol may have done a lot of hurtful things, whether intentionally or not, but it’s not his fault that he didn’t love you the way you loved him.

“I know I’m not in the position to ask for favors, but can I ask one all the same?” Chanyeol asks.

“Sure.”

“Can we be friends again?”

You smile. “I’d like that. Yeah, let’s try again as friends.”

Chanyeol’s lips curl into a smile as well, his dimple making another appearance. “Thank you. For hearing me out. And for the coffee,” he says. “See you around?”

“You can’t stay for a while?”

Chanyeol regretfully shakes his head. “I have to study for my major demo prod final.”

You can’t help but laugh. “You are different,” you say. “You never studied before.”

“Never too late to start again, right?” Chanyeol laughs. “See you around.”

You nod. Chanyeol stands up from his seat, gives you one last smile, and then disappears into the fading afternoon. Your heart feels the lightest it has been for a while, and you wonder until when this happiness will be good for this time around.

Apparently not for long.

Your phone dings, displaying an e-mail notification from the last person you’d expect it from. The message reads:

  From: CCU Department of Literature (literature@ccu.edu)

  Good day.

  You are respectfully invited to the department chair’s office for a dialogue regarding a sensitive matter. Kindly reply promptly with the schedule that works for you.

  Best,

  Lee Yeong Hoon, PhD

Chair, Literature Department

* * *

Your heart feels like it’s about to burst inside your chest any minute now.

You’ve never been personally asked into the department chair’s office in all your four years in college, and the churning in your gut tells you that your first visit isn’t going to be a pleasant one.

Students only ever go to their department chair’s office for either one of two reasons: (1) to ask for recommendation letters, in which case they go willingly, or (2) they fucked up and are in trouble, in which case they’re asked to go whether they like it or not.

You definitely aren’t there to ask for recommendations, so the only other logical option is that you’re monumentally screwed. As far as you’re concerned, you haven’t done anything to warrant the department chair’s attention.

Well, there is one thing…

No, you tell yourself. That’s impossible.

How could Dr. Lee have known? How could anyone have known? You and Junmyeon have been careful enough around campus. Heck, you haven’t seen him more than once outside of campus since the night he drove you home from Esperanza. It just isn’t possible that you’re in trouble because of that.

The shrill, robotic sound of a telephone snaps you back into reality.

The department secretary immediately picks it up. “Sir? Yes, sir. Right away, sir.” She turns to you, placing the handset back on the hook. “Dr. Lee is ready for you, sweetie.”

You can’t quite place the secretary’s expression. Is it distaste? Pity? Nevertheless, you thank her, and then hesitantly make your way toward the office.

The second you open the door and see who’s in the room aside from Dr. Lee, your heart sinks right through the floor. The other man is sitting with his back facing you, but he doesn’t need to turn around for you to know who he is.

Junmyeon.

He’s already occupying one of the two chairs in front of Dr. Lee’s desk, so you naturally go for the other seat. Your entire body has gone cold.

“I suppose you already know why I asked you here this morning,” Dr. Lee says, talking to no one in particular. Neither you nor Junmyeon respond.

Dr. Lee brings out a small, dark brown envelope from one of his desk drawers. He pulls out a single sheet of glossy paper — a photo, you realize — and places it gingerly on the table, as if mishandling it will make it explode.

Junmyeon doesn’t move an inch, perhaps because Dr. Lee has already shown him the photo while you were waiting outside just a few minutes ago. You straighten in your seat, craning your neck to see what’s on the photo.

It’s a bit dark and grainy, like it was taken on a phone from a distance, but there’s no doubt that the two people in the photo are you and Junmyeon. It was taken on that night, the night you sometimes still can’t believe ever happened. There it is, the first kiss you and Junmyeon have shared, immortalized in a photo meant to destroy the both of you here and now.

“This was dropped anonymously into my pigeon hole about a week ago,” says Dr. Lee. “The only people that have seen it are the people in this room right now, and my secretary. She opens my letters, you see.” He takes the photo, puts it back in the envelope, and then returns it inside his drawer. “No one will ever see it again.”

That takes a huge chunk of weight off of your chest, but it doesn’t remove all the dread.

Despite the anxiety simmering in your stomach, you manage to say, “Thank you, sir.”

Dr. Lee simply nods. The neutrality of his features is a bit unsettling, but it’s better than him being angry. Or maybe this is how he naturally is when he’s upset? That’s even more unnerving.

“As Chair of the Literature Department, it’s my responsibility to make sure that… things like this do not spill over to the entire Liberal Arts College.” He said ‘things’ with such dismay that you know he said it not because of the lack of a better term. Dr. Lee continues, “We have to deal with this on our own. Our department cannot have any more attention toward it, especially not after the scandal last trimester with Ms. Jeon. We have to cut off this problem’s head before it bites anyone else. Do you remember your Greek mythology?” he asks you.

The sudden question causes your brows to furrow in confusion. “Sir?”

“You were my student in World Literature 1. Do you remember your Greek mythology?” Dr. Lee repeats.

“Uh, I g-guess, sir.”

“Good. You will understand my analogy, then. You see, problems are like the Hydra — cut off one head, two more take its place. How did Hercules kill it?”

The answer comes naturally to you. “He burned the stumps before they grew back.”

“Good,” Dr. Lee says, his tone void of any emotion. “We have already cut off the head by not telling anyone else, and this is how we will burn the stump of this problem so that it remains beheaded.” He leans back on his chair, folding his arms in front of him. “I have already discussed this with Mr. Kim earlier, but for your sake, we will discuss it again.”

You turn to look at Junmyeon — the first good look you’ve had of him since you entered the room. His face is as rigid as a rock, his eyebrows scrunched together. He hasn’t spared you a glance, not once, since you sat down. He hasn’t talked, either.

Dr. Lee sighs. “Given your father’s position in the university and the fact that you are merely awaiting graduation, I am inclined to grant you the utmost leniency regarding this matter. Personally, I do not care about other people’s relationships, especially if they are of legal age, but unfortunately, my personal bias is suspended when I am acting as department chair. Because of that, I have no choice but to not invite Mr. Kim to teach at the university next trimester, or in the trimesters to come.”

Did you hear him correctly?

“You’re firing him,” you sum up. Your voice doesn’t feel like it’s coming from you; it feels like it’s echoing from someplace else.

Dr. Lee leans forward, propping his elbows on the wooden table. “My dear, I am not terminating Mr. Kim’s contract. I am simply not renewing it. There is a difference.”

“Well whatever you call it, it isn’t fair, it isn’t—”

“Don’t,” Junmyeon’s stern voice cuts you off. He throws you a pointed glance, silently saying, Please stop talking right now. He’s angry; that, you are sure of. What you aren’t sure of is if his anger is directed at the whole situation or simply at you.

He has the right to be furious at you, doesn’t he? After all, all of this wouldn’t be happening if you just hadn’t let yourself get swayed by your emotions and kissed him that night.

The fault is yours alone.

“It is settled,” Dr. Lee says with such finality that it’s hard to argue.

Unfortunately, you’d never been one to know when to give up. “Dr. Lee, please. It isn’t his fault, it’s mine. Please don’t—”

“Enough,” the department chair says. His tone has gone from neutral to venomous. “The only reason I am not taking your diploma away from you is because your father is the president of this university. One more outburst like that and I will no longer hesitate to forfeit your degree.” That shuts you right up. Dr. Lee then turns to Junmyeon. “It is settled,” he repeats. “Thank you for your time in this university, Mr. Kim. I wish you good fortune in all your future endeavors.”

Junmyeon stands up from his seat and offers his hand to Dr. Lee. “Thank you, sir,” he says. After the handshake, Junmyeon walks out of the room, and all you can do is watch.

What you don’t know is that it’ll  be a while before you see him again.

If you enjoy my work and want to send a bit more love, you can buy me a coffee! Donors will receive a small gift from me. ♡

< Part I (Chapters 1 to 5) • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 > Chapter 8 > Chapter 9 > Chapter 9.5 >

[toplinetommy]

Three Times Your Brother Got in the Way + One Time He Was Nowhere to be Found

Words: 2.8k

one

It was both you and your twin brother, Ryan’s, birthday, meaning that a way too large of a celebration was going on. Between the two of you, Ryan was the one that favored the overly large gatherings, whereas you were the twin that liked to party with just their friends. That’s how you ended up here; at a bar in downtown Philly with half of the Philadelphia Flyers roster and a few of your girlfriends. If it were up to you, which is usually wasn’t when your brother was around, you’d be at your shared apartment on the east side of the city with only people the two of you knew.

It was okay though, your twin was your best friend and you were thankful you got to celebrate with him. You were also pretty thankful for the tall dirty blonde he had befriended a little over a year ago that was seemingly always around now. 

Ryan was somewhere on the dancefloor with a few of his work buddies and a girl he introduced you to earlier that night. You chose to sit at the long table where part of your group had situated, sitting with Carter, Travis, Kevin, along with your friends Haley and Maddie. 

Carter was sitting next to you nursing an IPA you had never heard of while you were drinking your usual margarita, “Hey! Does anyone want to do tequila shots with me? I’m thinking I need to be on Ryan’s level pretty soon.”

Cheers came from around the table, signaling everyone wanted one as well. You and Haley got up from your chairs, her volunteering to walk over to the bar with you.

“So, you finally gonna make a move on Carter tonight?” She yells over the music once you guys reach the bar. You scoff in her direction as the bartender asks for your drink orders, telling him you wanted six shots of tequila.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You yell back, tapping your heeled foot on the wooden floor beneath you. You look over your friend’s shoulder towards Carter’s general direction once you’re done speaking, only to see him look at you as he took a sip from his beer.

The shots get handed to you right as you turn your head back to Haley and you walk back over to the table, setting them down on the table for everyone to grab. As you all lift your shot glasses to meet in the middle for a toast, Carter cuts you off, “To the gorgeous birthday girl!”

A warmth fills your chest and covers your shoulders as the rest of the group echoes the toast and takes the shot. Once you shoot back the shot you settle back into your chair, only to notice the blonde’s lengthy arm slung over the back of it. Pushing your feelings to the side, you lean back into anyways. If Ryan was going to come back and make a comment about his best friend being a little overly friendly with his sister, you’d blame it on the alcohol.

Chatter fills the table once again, the guys all making jokes about Ryan’s god awful dance moves and the girls laughing along with them. You feel Carter lean a little bit deeper into your side and suddenly he’s very close to you.

“You having a good time?” He asks, the softness in his voice sending shivers through your body. You turn your head to him, nodding your head yes in response, a light blush and shy smile on your lips.

“On a scale of 1-10 how drunk are you?” He questions loudly.

You knit your eyebrows at the odd question, “like a four?”

“Okay, cause I want to make sure you’ll understand what I’m about to ask you.”

The calmness and smoothness in his voice sounds like honey and even though he’s fighting over all the background noise he still sounds like he’s whispering to you. A tightness pulls in your stomach, and you're not entirely sure if it’s because of the man’s face that’s four inches away from you or all the tequila you’ve consumed in the past hour.

“I wanted to ask you if you wanted to, like, do something sometime. Ya know, like not with-” He starts before a very heavy and large, Ryan tumbles into you.

“Y/n!” He exclaims in a slur, “It’s our birthday, why are you over here and not hanging out with me?” He pouts at you and you know it’s time for you to get dragged away by him. Standing up, you turn towards a flushed Carter and give him a soft smile.

two

Football season was coming to a close and with a hopeful happy ending for the city of Philadelphia. The Eagles had made it to the NFC championship game, meaning the city was on a whole new level of crazy, hoping they could pull out a win to go to another Super Bowl in the weeks to come.

Ryan and you, being the football fanatics that you are, had decided to host some of your friends over for a watch party. To no surprise, Ryan had invited a few of the Flyers over, while you had invited your best friend.

Ryan was outside on the back deck grilling, showing Travis the new grill he had gotten for himself, while you and everyone else sat comfortably in the warmth of your home. The guys hadn’t been over for long so when Carter finally walks up to greet you by the back patio door, you’re shocked at the midnight green hoodie he was wearing.

“Getting into football now, huh?” You joke around, poking at the flying eagle on his chest.

He chuckles lightly, looking down at your hand as you pull it away, “Being in a sports town like this rubs off on you, what can I say.”

“Fly, eagles fly, baby.” You smirk, raising your Coors Light to clink with his IPA.

“Fly or die.” He agrees as your two glasses meet in the middle with a sharp clink. His clear blue eyes watch yours as he brings his glass away from his mouth, licking his lips. “I might have to ask you a few questions, there’s still some stuff that confuses me.”

You take half a step backwards, leaning on the kitchen counter behind you, looking out the back patio door to see your brother chatting Travis’ ear off.

“Just stick with me and you’ll know all the ins and outs of the game. You do the hockey and I’ll do the football.” You joke lightly, turning back to the goalie in front of you. Football had always been your favorite sport growing up and you had only really gotten into hockey once Ryan had befriended Carter and a couple of the other guys.

“I like that plan.” He says softly, taking a step towards you, making up for the step you had just previously taken away from him. “Speaking of hockey, we have a day game next weekend if you wanted to come?” His voice raises in infliction as he asks the question, nerves taking over his body.

“Actually, yeah, that’d be nice! I haven’t been able to go to a lot of the games Ryan always tries to drag me to.” You cheer. “Let me see if he can go too, but I imagine he can.”

You start to turn towards the back patio, planning on asking Ryan if he was free next weekend. You slide open the door a bit, poking your head out into the winter Philadelphia air, asking if he wanted to tag along to the game with you. As he lets you know you can make it, you turn back towards Carter, who seems to have a slight awkwardness in his slouched posture.

“Well, actually, I was, uh, thinking if you wanted to like, do something after with-” He starts, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand.

Suddenly the door slides open and Ryan barges in with an overflowing plate of burgers, sliding right between you and Carter. “The burgers are ready!” He announces, Travis following close behind him as everyone rushes towards the kitchen for some food.

three

Waking up, you squeeze your eyes tighter shut, trying to block out the sun peaking through your bedroom blinds. A groan slips past your lips, as the pounding in your head starts. The memories of last night flood through you. You had drank way too much tequila, the reason being Ryan getting a promotion at work.

As you rubbed your eyes awake, you could only imagine the mess that would be in your living room. Moving around you pull on a pair of running shorts and pull your hair into a quick braid. 

Walking down the hallway into the living room, you could still distinguish the scent of beer, causing a slight gag in the back of your throat. You make your way to the kitchen, on a mission for the biggest glass of water you could possibly get and anything that was overloaded in carbs. Once you get your water, you realize you left your phone in your room and make your way back to grab it.

Walking back to the kitchen you notice the large sleeping figure flopped onto your couch. The large, pale, shirtless figure with light brown hair all over the place. Carter Hart is sleeping on your couch and you look like you aren’t even wearing pants. 

You decide to ignore him, going back to the kicthen to find some food to make, trying your best not to wake anyone up in the apartment. As you pull the carton of eggs out and shut the refrigerator door, the same shirtless figure appears behind the once open door once it’s shut.

A soft ‘fuck’ slips past your lips as your eyes naturally fall onto his pale, toned abdomen. 

“Do you have water?” Carter asks in a raspy voice, breaking you from your thoughts. 

You nod your head, whipping open the fridge door once again to grab your Brita filter. You stick your head in the fridge for a little longer than necessary to avoid the shirtless man standing next to you. You finally hand him his glass and he takes it going to sit at the kitchen island. You choose not to follow him and instead start grabbing things to make some eggs.

“Hey, instead of making breakfast, did you maybe want to go grab breakfast? There’s a place nearby I’ve been to that’s pretty good.” He shrugs, spinning his glass around on the countertop.

You face the stove, contemplating the idea for a moment before turning around to face the shirtless hockey player in your kitchen. “Yeah,” You answered, “that sounds a lot better than homemade scrambled eggs right now.”

“Okay, awesome, uh, I just have to grab my shirt and I’ll be good to go.” He says, downing the rest of his water and setting it back down on the island. 

“I just have to change and I should be good, too. Just give me a few minutes.” You shrug, putting away the ingredients you were planning to use. As you round the corner to head to your room you run into a large body, Ryan.

“You guys going to grab breakfast?” He asks, running his hand through his bed head.

You and Carter look between one another before you look back at your twin. “Uh, yeah, Carter said he knows a place a few blocks away.” 

“Cool! I’ll just go change and throw on a hat and I can join you guys!” He exclaims before turning back around and disappearing back down the hallway towards his room.

plus one

Sitting on the couch of your apartment, your thoughts are pulled away from your laptop as you hear a knocking on the front door. Setting your laptop on the cushions beside you, you move towards the door to see who it is.

Swinging the door open, you find Carter in the hallway holding a box of some sort. Ryan hadn’t let you know he was coming over, so you’re confused as to why he’s standing at the door and even more confused at the mysterious box in his hands.

“Hey,” Carter greets, sensing the confusion written all over your face. “Is Ryan home? He said I could swing by anytime today.”

“Uh, yeah, I think his girlfriend is still here. I’m not really sure what he’s up to.” You let him know, moving to the side so you can let him into your entryway. You close the door behind him, and move back towards where you were previously sat on the couch, pulling your laptop back onto your lap.

“What’s in the box?” You ask, your curiosity getting the best of you. Carter walks further into the apartment, setting the box down on the kitchen island with a large ‘thud’.

“Tax stuff? I don’t really know what it all is. Ryan said he’d help me with my taxes and said he’d make sure I was doing everything right.” He answers.

“Oh, yeah, it’s getting to be that time of the year, huh?” You say, remembering that the tax season is coming to a close soon. You look up from your laptop to see him continuing to stand by the kitchen island, his hands awkwardly stuff into his sweatpants pockets. “You can come sit while you wait for him.”

Carter moves to join you on the sectional in the middle of the living room, sitting on the opposite side as you. “What are you working on?” He asks, pointing to the laptop you're typing away on. 

“I’m actually looking for a new job,” You start. Carter nods his head, urging you to go on. “I didn’t really plan on staying at the place I’m working at right now anyways.” 

Although Carter seemed to be around quite frequently over the past few months, you guys never really got to get to know one another other than the basic things. You knew he was a goalie and that he was on his season and that he was Canadian, which you had picked up on instantly due to his accent. 

“What exactly do you do? I think Ryan mentioned to me that you worked in communications?” He asked.

A smile spreads across your lips, the passion evident in your voice as you begin to speak. “I work in communications and marketing, or at least that’s what I’m looking for right now. I want to be a marketing coordinator but I’m just a PR assistant at my current job.”

Carter leans further into the couch, adjusting himself so he’s facing you. His head is leaned against his hand that’s resting on the back of the couch. He nods his head along as you speak, and he finds himself immersed into the conversation, asking more questions about exactly what you do.

The conversation flows for a little while longer before footsteps come from the hallway, signaling that Ryan and his girlfriend had finally emerged from his bedroom. 

“Oh, hey, man. When did you get here?” Ryan asks, slapping his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Carter looks back up towards your brother, “Not too long ago.” 

“Hopefully y/n hasn’t been too annoying.” He jokes, smirking at you, as he walks his girlfriend out. You roll your eyes with a scoff at the chirp, a slight blush rising on your cheeks.

“Not at all.” Carter responds with a smile, looking back towards you.

“I’m gonna grab a quick shower then I’ll be right out to help you.” He says before disappearing back towards his room. “Y/n don’t bore him to death!” He chirps as he shuts his bedroom door.

You get a little quiet after that, focusing back on the computer screen in front of you. Carter stays silent as well, trying to feel out the now-awkward atmosphere in the room.

“Hey, y/n?” He asks, grabbing your attention. You hum in response, turning your attention back to him where he continues to sit on the other side of the couch.

“I’ve been trying to ask you out for, like, weeks now, and now that your brother is finally not going to interrupt, do you wanna go out sometime? Like, on a date? Just you and me.” He asks, rambling a bit. A wide smile falls on his face as he finishes, watching your reaction at every word he speaks.

You smile softly at the blushing boy in front of you, your own blush starting to creep up your neck. “Yeah, I’d really like that.” You agree.

His smile widens further as he fishes in his pocket for what you assume is his phone.

“Awesome,” he affirmed. “I’ll look at my game and practice schedule and I can let you know what days work for you?”

“That works perfectly.” You smiled, “And by the way, Ryan is always going to get in the way.”

[iam93percentstardust]

Thanks for Watching part 3

Hey everyone! Yesterday, I reached 1000 followers! I’m a little shocked and a little in awe and I certainly never thought I would have this many so thank you for following and listening to my ramblings. I have a couple things planned for this milestone but I don’t have the time to talk about all of them right now, so for now I thought it might be nice to update Thanks for Watching and let our boys finally get together :)

Also on ao3 here

~

Okay, so he’s known Tony for six months now. It’s not super weird that they’re still not dating right? He knows that Tony thinks he’s attractive—he says it in just about every video that Steve’s in now—and he’s pretty sure that Tony likes the him under the hotness too—or at least, Tony makes sure to reassure him of that after every video—and he definitely thinks Tony’s pretty great.

But they’re still not dating.

He knows it frustrates both Bucky and Rhodey, who ask them about it at least once a week. He’s pretty sure it frustrates Tony’s fans too who always squee about them in the comments. He thinks that’s the term Tony uses.

Squee? Squeezes? Squeegy? No, that can’t be right.

Whatever.

They’re always talking about how cute Steve and Tony are in the comments and wondering when they’re going to start dating. But, hey, Steve’s taking his time, okay? They say the best relationships are those built on a good, solid friendship and that’s what he’s building with Tony right now.

He’s not afraid, no matter what Bucky says.

He’s not.

He might be.

A little.

Maybe a little more than a little.

Okay, so maybe he’s terrified. It’s just that the more he gets to know Tony, the more he gets to see what an incredible, bright, vivacious man he is, the less he feels…worthy, maybe. He’s just Steve Rogers. He can barely keep up with whatever Tony’s chattering about and he wears grandpa pants to go out and he only has followers on any of his social media because of Tony’s shout out. What could he have to offer someone like Tony Stark?

He looks up from where he’s working on his latest commission—a portrait of someone’s wife for their twenty-sixth anniversary since that’s apparently the art one—to where Tony is at the other end of the workshop, doing a Q&A. He does them periodically, usually for subscriber milestones but sometimes for other reasons like an anniversary or a birthday or when he gets enough requests for another one.

“Stuckinmicanopy wants to know how Dum-E got his name,” Tony reads off the screen. In the corner, Dum-E perks up at the sound of his name. “You know, that’s a really good question and it’s one that I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about before. So back at MIT, when Rhodey-bear and I were first working on Dum-E’s programming, he was originally named Laundr because he was supposed to be a laundry bot since we didn’t like doing laundry. And who can blame us? Laundry was created by the devil. Anyway, so Dum-E was supposed to be a laundry bot but then he fell down the stairs like three times in a row and we couldn’t get the bug out of his programming so I called him a dummy and the name just stuck. The spelling thing happened because on Dum-E’s first birthday, we showed him Wall-E and he was infatuated.”

Steve, who has been watching Dum-E steadily trundle closer throughout Tony’s speech, warningly says, “Tony.”

Just in time, Tony turns to stop Dum-E from spraying him with the fire extinguisher. “Nothing’s even on fire, you useless bot,” he exclaims. “Go back to your corner. Go. Shoo. Off you go.”

He gives Steve an exaggeratedly confused look. Steve laughs and shrugs. “He must have heard his name,” he says.

“Must’ve,” Tony agrees. “Okay, next question. Ooh new one just popped up from bellesbagels: is Steve there with me? Yes, he is. Steve likes to come do his art stuff in the workshop because his roommate isn’t there and because I got him a really great easel for his birthday earlier this year. I would tilt the camera so you could all see him but he’s working on a surprise commission and he doesn’t want anyone to see it until it’s finished. Maybe if the next person asks really nicely, he’ll get up and come over here so you guys can say hi.”

“I’ll get up and go over there now,” Steve says, He leaves his brush in the mug and heads over to join Tony by the computer. “Hi Tony, hi viewers.” He drops a quick kiss on the top of Tony’s head—even if he’ll never admit it, Tony craves affection—waves to the camera and meanders back to his easel.

Tony leans back in his chair to give him a fond smile before returning to his questions. “So apparently a lot of you want to know if Steve often gives me kisses and the answer is yes. Steve and I are very affectionate with each other, me because I’m naturally an affectionate person and Steve because I think he feels sorry for me that Howard doesn’t like me.”

“Hey,” Steve protests.

“I’m kidding. Steve and I are affectionate with each other because we both like each other very much and toxic masculinity is ridiculous. And seriously, everyone should take a chance to feel up those biceps at least once. They’re ridiculously huge. So since not everyone gets to see Steve like I do everyday, I will take one for the team and give Steve as many hugs as I can to make up for it.”

See, it’s things like that that make him think Tony is interested in dating him. But then he always adds a “just kidding” or doesn’t follow it up with asking Steve out and he’s just hopelessly confused.

“Shaylabee wants to know when Steve’s birthday is so they can send him a present next year.” He shoots Steve a questioning look. Steve thinks about it and then nods. He’s gotten packages from followers before. They always get sent to Stark Tower where they can be vetted. “Because he is All-American Grade-A beef, Steve’s birthday is ironically on the 4th of July. Next question: lovelyjules asks if Steve and I are aware that we keep acting like we’re dating.”

He pauses and Steve looks up from his easel. Over by the computer, Tony is frowning at the question. Steve gets it. He knows how much Tony hates it when people act like they have to be dating because they give each other hugs and compliments.

“I’ll take this one,” he offers, standing up and joining Tony again.

“Steve—”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He presses another kiss to the side of Tony’s head. “You get this question a lot. Let me handle it for once.” He looks at the camera and takes a deep breath. “Tony and I would like to remind you about what he just said regarding toxic masculinity. We’re very close friends who express our friendship in a physical way but that doesn’t mean that we have to be dating. Tony isn’t interested in anything like that and I respect his choices.” And then, belatedly so that Tony doesn’t suspect anything. “And I’m not either.”

It comes off as a little lame even to him and he thinks Tony might have gotten suspicious judging by the way he frowns oddly.

But when Steve doesn’t say anything else about it, Tony just goes back to the video and says, “That’s all we’ve got time for today. Thanks for listening to me jabber at you today, I’ll be back with a new Science Bros video next week, and as always, thanks for watching.”

Steve waves as Tony turns off the camera, smiling awkwardly.

“Tony—” he starts to say as soon as the blinking light stops flashing.

“Wait. What do you mean I’m not interested?”

He shifts uncomfortably. “Well, you know, you’re always making jokes—”

“You mean flirting with you?”

“You always tell me that you’re just kidding afterwards!” he exclaims

“Because you always look so uncomfortable!” Tony says. “Are you telling me that you never once minded me hitting on you?”

“Why would I mind? I’ve had a crush on you for months.”

Tony gapes at him. “But you never said anything. You just—you looked at me so I just figured you didn’t feel the same. We could have been dating for months?”

“I—” Something is stirring in Steve’s heart, something that feels a little bit like hope. “Yes?”

Tony breaks out into a huge grin and he throws his arms around Steve, hugging him tight. “Wow, we’re just as idiotic as Rhodey’s been saying we are.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Steve argues.

“No, no, Honeybear is always right.”

“We got here, didn’t we?” he points out. “Last I heard, Rhodey was betting on us never getting our shit together.”

Tony laughs brightly, nuzzling deeper into Steve’s chest as he does. Slowly, Steve puts his own arms around Tony. They’ve hugged before, many times really, but this feels…different, momentous even.

“Hey, Tony?” he asks hesitantly, wondering if he’s allowed to do this now.

Tony hums happily.

“Can I—may I, I mean—kiss you?”

His answer is to slide his hands up Steve’s chest, hook around his neck, and pull him down for the softest, gentlest kiss Steve thinks he’s ever had. His own hands slide down to fit around Tony’s waist, bringing him up close as he opens his mouth on a content sigh.

Tony pulls away but doesn’t go far, instead resting his forehead against Steve’s. “That was nice,” he whispers.

“Mmhmm,” Steve agrees. “You want to go out with me tonight? Something low key, maybe?”

“Burgers and milkshakes?”

“Share the milkshake?”

“Would we do any less?” Tony asks, mock-indignantly.

Steve chuckles and kisses Tony again, letting his lips linger. He’s allowed to do this, he gets to have this, have Tony. They’re going to be the disgustingly cute couple driving Bucky and Rhodey crazy, he just knows it.

“No,” he says. “Probably not.”

[hateswifi]

Rising from the Ashes: Of Galas and Fires

So this is Part two here is to my Master List and Part One. Enjoy

----------------

When she woke up to the bright light peeking through her windows the next morning she decided to get up and go to the park to design. Near lunchtime, a shadow fell over her.  "Hey Mar," Chloe greeted, looking down at her bluenette friend. "You realize its one and you probably haven’t been responsible by eating anything today."

"Hey Chloe, no I didn't realize it was that late and no I haven’t eaten anything," Marinette said, looking at her phone. "Since we're already going to be at your hotel, can we just turn it into a sleepover?"

"Ya sure, why not. I'll call up Kagami and tell her to bring her stuff. Movie marathon and spa night?" Chloe asked now sitting as she looked through contacts. Marinette nodded in agreement. “Hey Blueberry, I’m here with Mar. We want to have a sleepover after the gala. Yes, movies and spa. Cool, gala starts at six-thirty to around ten o’clock tonight. Bye love you!” Chloe finished hanging up. 

“Cool want to head to your house for lunch?” Chloe asked, standing up. 

“Ya mama made quiches don’t worry spinach and feta,” Marinette said standing up and holding arms with Chloe. They take a nice but short walk to the bakery. “Mama I’m home and I brought Chloe,” Marinette greeted as she entered. 

“It’s good to see you. We, Tom and I, are going to the gala tonight,” Sabine said, hugging the two girls. 

“So mama you know how I’m hanging out with Kagami, Luka, and Adrien during the gala because Kagami and Adrien’s parent won’t let them go,” Marinette said as Sabine nodded. “Well, we all want to sleepover at Chloe’s after the gala are we allowed to?”

“Of course it’s nice that you’re staying with your friends. I’m sorry you couldn’t get out of It Chloe,” Sabine said, looking sympathetically at the girl she started to see as a daughter. 

“I’ve learned to deal with it. Anyways, after I get to hang out with my family,” Chloe says with a smile. 

“Awww, Chloe!” Marinette said hugging her. “We’re going to steal your quiches bye, Mama!”

After eating the quiches it was already three. They were watching Yuri on Ice, Adrien had gotten the miraculous squad into it and anime in general. 

“Hey, Chlo, I’m going to grab my night bag. Tomorrow morning, want to go shopping for the winter social? It’s next week?” Marinette asked, standing. 

“Sure Mar, but I don’t know why you’re worrying over it, you already graduated. I don’t understand why you don’t just take a break from the stupid people we call our classmates. Also, can you come to the hotel before to help me with my makeup?” Chloe asked, standing up and turning off the t.v. 

“You know the only reason I’m still in school is that I’m class president,” Marinette sighed, taking their quiche plates to the kitchen. “And I didn’t want to be accused of wanting attention.”

“Well Mar, I’m proud of you. I’m going to head to the hotel to shower and by the time you get there I should be out and maybe dressed, depending on how I feel,” Chloe said, waving bye to her friend. 

Marinette climbed to her room and grabbed the essentials like her hairbrush, two outfits, always prepared for a disaster, a toothbrush, her favorite color nail polish, her super cute and comfy pajamas, and a fluffy blanket. She also stuffed the Miracle Box in her bag; she never leaves more than twelve hours without it. She grabbed most of her cash; she was hoping to buy some fabrics. She also grabbed her stash of snacks for the movie night. 

“Bye, Mama!” Marinette said leaving the house, but she didn’t hear her mama’s response and her papa went out to buy Sabine flowers. She didn’t worry about it, she’ll see them tomorrow after shopping. 

When she got to the hotel, she was let inside because Chloe and Marinette are now friends. She found Chloe’s room within the maze-like halls and entered. She took a seat on Chloe’s bed after she dropped all her stuff. She had fallen asleep but woke up when her vision flashes orange and she wakes up to Chloe standing by her bathroom door in a white fluffy bathrobe. 

“Mar, you ok?” Chloe asked, stepping closer to Marinette as she pats her golden-blonde hair dry. 

“Ya it was just a weird dream,” she answered, sitting up. “You want me to help with hair and makeup?”

“Yes, your makeup style makes me look naturally beautiful and would you be able to put my hair in the braided bun,” Chloe said as she dries her hair. 

“Ok,” Marinette said, standing up. “I’m going to do three French braids into a princess bun.” After she finished Chloe’s hair she started working on her makeup. Thankfully Chloe had stopped wearing the super pigmented blue eyeshadow; she toned it down for more natural color. “And you’re all done. Do you want to get changed now and have a small snack before the gala?” Marinette asked, appreciating her handy work. 

"Let's have a small snack before I get changed. I have cookies here for Tikki if she would like them," Chloe said, pulling off the cover to the cookie plate.

"Thank you, Chloe!" Tikki said, flying over to grab a cookie. Pollen was already sitting on the plate eating some honey.

“Want a smoothie as your snack, the one I ordered is blueberry, and honey," Chloe said, putting a straw in her cup. She had grown accustomed to honey after Pollen started staying with her permanently. "But I'm going to guess you would like a strawberry smoothie." Marinette nodded in agreement. 

After they had finished their smoothies, Chloe got changed into her baby blue shoulderless dress with a puffy skirt that landed around the knee. Marinette had made this dress for her friend's birthday a couple of months prior and it would be the first event she would wear it to. This was an MDC original. 

A couple of years ago Marinette started selling her designs to people like her Uncle Jagged, Clara Nightingale, and people had fallen in love with the designs, so much so that Gabriel requested a line with her. She had created the line and it had been a big hit. She put most of the money in her bank account. The money would help her parents if she had died as Ladybug, but if they weren't around to collect it the money would be split up amongst her friends, except for Adrien after he refused.

"Mar, you gotta get going my daddy will be here soon to escort me down," Chloe said, breaking her out of the past. 

"Oh yeah I also have to get going I'm supposed to be meeting the rest of the miraculous team at the Eiffel Tower," Marinette said then transformed. "Chloe, you look extra pretty tonight." Ladybug and Chloe hugged until they heard a knock on her door, her dad was there to pick her up. They broke away and Ladybug jumped off the balcony and ran towards the Eiffel Tower. When she dropped everyone was already waiting for her.

"Hey, Mar. Do you think I can drop my stuff in Chloe's room before heading down?" Ryuko asks, switching her bag to her other shoulder.

"Ya you don't want to show up at the gala with your bag, that would be weird," Ladybug answered, hugging the rest of the group. "You all ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Viperon grumbled, not wanting to be stuck at a stuffy gala all night.

"Don't worry about it the pain only lasts for the first couple hours," Chat jokes, then jumped towards the hotel. 

They all wait on the roof of the hotel for Ryuko to come back so they could enter together as a squad. They heard Ryuko join them so the miraculous team jumped down towards the red carpet entrance that was surrounded by paparazzi. Flashes from the cameras blind the heroes as microphones were shoved in their faces. 

“Chat! Are you and Ladybug dating?” 

“Who is Hawkmoth? Is it true you know who he is?” 

“Are you guys gonna keep being heroes?”

“What is your statement towards Hawkmoth if he is watching tonight?”

“Viperon! are you in love with Ladybug? Do you and Chat secretly despise each other because of it?”

"Who are you all really behind the masks?"

They ignore the questions and enter inside where clapping began as soon as they entered applause broke out throughout the room. They saw all of Paris there to celebrate and raise money to help people in need. Ladybug smiled knowing that she helped make these people happier and safer. She picks her parents out in the sea of faces, that she and her friends stood in front of, and is happy to see them enjoying themselves. She also saw her classmates everyone was fawning over Lila’s ‘MDC’ original dress, specially made just for her. She also noticed Chloe approaching the group. 

“My dress is an actual MDC dress because I actually know her. That’s right, MDC is a girl and her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe said, spinning to show off her dress.

“That’s a lie. Why would I lie about this beautiful dress?” Lila said, crying. 

“Because your life sucks,” Chloe stated, crossing her arms. 

Gabriel walked over to the girls, hearing the conversation of his prodigy. “You’re talking about MDC?” 

“Yes, Mr. Agreste, he’s quite nice, right? He could also be a model with his looks as well,” Lila cooed. 

“I believe you mean, Miss Dupain-Cheng. She is quite nice and talented. Chloe, I saw your dress as she was working on it and it turned out quite nicely,” Gabriel said, confirming Chloe’s statement. 

“Oh I’m sorry I must have been thinking of MAC,” Lila lied while glaring at Chloe before anyone could question. 

“Of course you did,” Chloe fakes a laugh while brushing her off. All of Lila’s group genuinely laughs along with Chloe. 

As time went on, she saw many people, by now her parents were long gone. The number of people was starting to dwindle all that was left is quiet chatter. That made it quite easy to hear the news reporter, who had been standing near the heroes. 

“There was a fire three dead, two bodies were recovered,” the reporter said. “Now sending you to the scene.”

The heroes immediately left the gala. They saw the lights and realized it was Mar’s house. Her parents had been home. They saw police and firefighters there along with paramedics. 

“What’s the situation,” Viperon asked, landing along with the rest of the team. 

“Three dead only two bodies were found though,” the fire chief informed the heroes. “We couldn’t find the daughter’s body. We think since she was smaller all that’s left is ash. The parents' bodies were recovered. The cause of the fire a silk dress left to dry by the stove, but was too close and caught fire.”

“Are we sure the parents are gone and how do we know the daughter was home?” Ladybug asked in a more timid voice than normal. 

“There bodies are bad, they’re on a stretcher over there and she wasn’t at the gala. We found something that looked like could have been remnants of her,” the paramedic answered. 

“Anyone know about their family situation?” Officer Raincomprix, Sabrina’s dad, asked the four young heroes.

“Besides one of Tom’s parents, who live here in Paris, and the other who travels and all of Sabine’s family from China there’s no one else,” Ryuko responded, looking to the stretchers. 

“Anything salvageable?” Ladybug asked, trying to gain control of her emotions. 

“There’s a safe with some stuff inside, Chat can you open it?” Officer Raincomprix asked.  

Chat shows some hesitation, subtly looking towards Ladybug for confirmation, which she gave. “Yes show me where.”

“It’s already out here, we don’t want anyone else entering. The building is too unstable and will probably collapse soon,” the fire chief said leading them to a medium-size safe that must have taken two guys to move.

Chat opens it with cataclysm, which he learned to control to smaller places, only breaking the lock itself. Inside was all three of the family’s wills. Marinette’s will surprised everyone because she was so young. She had written hers a couple of months after becoming the beloved hero, Ladybug. She wanted to make sure everything was sorted and hopefully helpful for her parents. Her will reads: 

‘If I die an untimely death, everything I own goes to my parents. If they are no longer here with me, then everything that I have is to be split up between my friends. Specifically Chloe, Kagami, Luka, and Adrien. If they are unwilling or not around donate it to a children’s charity.’

Her parents' will said:

‘Everything is to go to our daughter, Marinette Ann Dupain-Cheng. This includes our bakery and bank accounts. If our death comes before she’s an adult her Grandfather Dupain, Tom’s father has stated he would take her in and support her until she can support herself. If something happened to Marinette with us, follow her written will.’

Her grandmother’s pearl necklace and earrings were placed in a traditional Chinese jewelry box along with her grandmother’s engagement ring. There were also many family photos starting from Tom and Sabine’s wedding, all the way up to Marinette’s graduation. There was also quite a lot of money, but that was not too important at the moment. 

The heroes disappeared after that, leaving for Chloe’s room. Everyone was silent in shock. When they arrived Chloe was already there looking at her friend worriedly: she had heard everything from the reporter after the heroes had left. “Hey Mar, it’s okay to cry. You just lost everything and everyone thinks you’re dead,” Chloe said, rubbing her back in a hug. 

“You’re right,” she paused, letting out a cry. “Everyone thinks I’m dead. I have nothing left here, I can start a new life somewhere else. Maybe America.”

“Mar that’s the grief talking,” Luka said, joining in the hug. 

“I have no family left here, my classmates hate me, I already graduated, and you guys know I’m alive. I have the Miracle Box, which has the horse miraculous meaning I can stay in touch with you guys. You can give a statement I’m retiring as Ladybug and everything will... be.. fine,” she said, crying into Luka’s shoulder. 

“Mari, don’t make a decision tonight, at least wait till we can collect everything to give to you and after the funeral,” Adrien reasoned walking to the side to hug her, Chloe and Luka. 

“You can wear a mask, black wig, and grey contacts and say you’re a cousin or something,” Kagami said, finishing the group hug. 

“Chloe, Honey?” came a knock and call from the other side of the door.

“Mar, Luka, Adrien get in the closet,” Chloe whispered all breaking away and pushing them towards the door. 

“Why us?” Adrien asked as he stuck his hand out to stop the door.

“No boys in my room without daddy’s knowledge,” Chloe said, running back towards Kagami. 

“Come in,” Kagami called. 

“Ummm... Chloe, Kagami, your friend's house had a fire tonight and neither of her parents or Marinette made it out,” Mayor Bourgeois said, slowly. 

“No.. No! That can’t be true! She was just supposed to grab something. She said she would be right back!” Chloe screamed, falling to the ground Kagami following to rub her back and cry. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. The funeral will be held next week,” he said before leaving. 

“Nice acting Chlo,” Luka said, stepping out of the closet with Adrien and Mari following shortly behind. 

“Can we get changed, eat lots of ice cream, watch movies, and do a spa night,” Marinette whispered, hugging Adrien this time. 

“Of course Buginette, I’m going to jump home and grab some stuff. You’ll probably need to do the same, Luka,” Adrien said, calling his transformation then jumped out the window with Luka jumping out not even a minute later. 

The girls got changed, prepared the spa stuff including facials, nail polish, and a hair mask. They want to pamper themselves after being sad. 

When the boys arrived the girls were in their comfy pajamas and face masks, now they were working on mannies and peddies. Marinette’s were already done and drying. 

They decided on some wholesome Disney movies. They watched some of the Disney Princesses, everyone but Adrien agreeing that he is Rapunzel’s twin. They fell asleep during Snow White and stay curled up with each other till morning. 

-------------------------

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[atinytokki]

The Windy Road

vii. A Triumph and a Tragedy

The steps leading up the path to Dahye’s house were familiar and grounding, with their neatly trimmed grasses and elegant statues by the gate. Dahye had moved from crafting paper figures to sculpting solid ones in her time at Panhang.

As for Mingi— Mingi was fifteen years old but he knew he was in love.

He clutched the flower bouquet in his sweaty hands and took a deep breath.

Today was the day he was going to confess that fact to Dahye and, if she returned the sentiment, officially begin courting her.

It had been just over three years since both Mingi and Dahye had moved to Panhang, and together with Bosung they had become inseparable.

When he considered them, Mingi realised these had been the best days of his life. He was at the top of his class in school, he had wonderful moments treasured up with his best friends, his family was happy and healthy, and this “new” town had actually become his home.

A real home.

Something he had never had before.

On the evening of Mingi’s birthday last week, his father had seen how he smiled at her and taken him aside to offer some advice.

“Ask her now, before Bosung does.”

Mingi had paled and asked if it was that obvious and his father had smirked and told him it was obvious she liked him back, too. Apparently Mingi’s parents had become a couple around the same age and it was a small thing, but one that gave Mingi confidence.

Confidence enough to buy Dahye’s favourite flowers and turn up on her doorstep just after supper the next day.

Her parents already knew who was calling and why, so they directed him to the garden swing where she was waiting.

It had been a mild summer with an agreeable breeze blowing down from the hills, so they sat and talked for hours about many things, but to Mingi’s delight the first topic they agreed upon was that they had feelings for one another.

Watching the sun slide below the horizon on his short walk home, Mingi was perhaps the happiest he had ever felt. Somehow, he felt this one moment had affirmed him on the course of his life and it was good one.

Until he entered the sitting room and Mother shot to her feet from the armchair, clutching a wrinkled handkerchief, face falling a moment later as if she expected someone else.

Silently, he closed the door and stepped forward to have her explain. It was something to do with Minseok.

Mingi loved his brother. That much was true, and always had been.

He didn’t understand him, and he fought with him more often than not, but Mingi loved him and Minseok returned that love. Sometimes it was a ruffling of his hair, or a conceding nod and a smile— it was just how they expressed it.

Mingi loved his brother.

Which was why he could not believe his mother’s words when she told him Minseok was gone. Teary eyes peeked out at him from under her lids, hands clasped in front, and leaning forward as if he would bolt at any moment.

“He did us all in this time,” she cried. “And I fear we will never see him again.”

Minseok’s gambling issues had only been worsening in the past couple of years, despite multiple warnings from their parents. Mingi had noticed the behaviour and remained silent, knowing it wasn’t his place to beg Minseok not to make any rash moves that would hurt them. And everything had finally boiled over.

“He claims this old woman cheated him with some spell just at the opportune moment when he’d bet half our fortune— oh Mingi, my love, we’ll be ruined!”

So knowing this and thinking he could never be forgiven, he had run. Where to, none of them knew. And for a long time after his father returned alone from searching, Mingi wondered what had become of his brother.

On the heels of such joy, the worst pain he’d ever felt.

Eventually Mingi learned when you’re very sad, you simply exist. And that’s really all you can do for the time being.

Things were beginning to fall apart.

Dahye visited him the next week, and the two walked along the beach, not expecting to find Minseok wandering there, but taking in the fresh air and leaving the adults to deal with the aftermath at home.

Side by side, their footprints looked made for each other. Mingi had grown significantly, shooting up above the heights of all his friends, including Hongjoong who he didn’t see much of these days but who could often be found on the beach. He wasn’t out at the moment.

“What will your father do?” Dahye asked quietly, taking his hand and giving him time to answer.

“He can’t afford any more wares now that the witch put us in debt, so as soon as stock runs out, his merchant shop will be through,” Mingi explained, casting his teary eyes towards the sky. It was all just so unfair. “And he doesn’t know how to make anything with his hands so... I suppose he’ll have to find work.”

“Harvest is coming, you know,” Dahye suggested hopefully. “There’s always a need for fishermen.”

“My mother would never allow it,” Mingi sighed, remembering their first night in the cottage. “Not after... what happened to the Kims.”

Since her initial curiosity Dahye had gradually come to know Hongjoong’s story, at least Mingi’s version of it, and had taken a liking to him when she encountered him every once in awhile.

“But that was a tragedy, it only happened once! Besides the storms haven’t been nearly as bad this season,” she argued. “Surely your mother can be convinced?”

Mingi shrugged helplessly and clung on tight to Dahye’s hand in his.

The two were silent for awhile, pausing an watching the waves come and go, the glow of the lighthouse increasing as the sun went down.

Dahye leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed.

“I want to tell you your brother will be fine. He is grown, he ought to be able to take care of himself but... with his habits...”

“I know what you mean,” Mingi replied thickly. “He’ll be running all his life.”

Dahye nodded hesitantly and pulled him close. They’d get through this.

Yet even as he rested in her comfort, he couldn’t help but eye the horizon warily.

If a man was drawn to the sea in those parts, it was because he had nowhere else to go.

Predictably, Mingi’s mother immediately opposed the idea.

Even the combined force of Mingi and his father arguing for their fishing scheme was not enough to ease her worries, and Mingi stalked off to the beach again rather than push harder on an already strained marriage.

It was dark and he wasn’t allowed on the beach at night but he went out there anyway hoping for an answer to bump into him.

Strangely enough, that was exactly what happened, only the other way around. Hongjoong was wandering the shoreline too, watching the moonrise and taking a few well-earned breaths, this time in a small boat that he navigated just beyond the breakers.

Not realising he was being watched, he went about his business and soon returned the boat to the beach, dragging it up on the sand without noticing the tall boy running to meet him.

Mingi didn’t mean to knock him over but he was too excited to look where he was going and in the apologising mess of limbs he realised how lucky he was.

“Hongjoong!” He gasped.

“Yes?” Hongjoong coughed the rest of the sand out of his mouth.

“You can sail!”

Hongjoong looked surprised— at least from what Mingi could tell— but didn’t say anything about being afraid of the open ocean.

“I saw you! You were past the breakers,” Mingi panted, motioning in the general direction before taking his friend by the shoulders. “How long have you been back on the water?”

“I’m not sure,” Hongjoong said slowly, beginning to understand what was happening. “A year maybe?”

Without Mingi’s knowledge, Hongjoong had changed. But then again, he couldn’t expect him to remain the hollow boy he had chased into the market those years ago.

“I can’t believe you never talked about it,” Mingi laughed, chattering on without any explanation as to why he was there. “But then again, we haven’t seen each other much lately...”

“Right,” Hongjoong answered softly. “I... uh... heard about your brother. I know it’s been awhile since he left, but I couldn’t get away to see how you were. Is everything alright?”

Mingi sobered and wrapped his arms around himself. Instinctively, he almost answered “yes.” It didn’t matter how long it had been since he’d spoken with Hongjoong, they didn’t lie to each other.

So he just cut straight to the point.

“Father will be out of work within the week.”

Hongjoong blinked a few times and reached out a hand sympathetically. “I’m so sorry, Mingi. Do you have any idea what you’ll do?”

“I suggested fishing but Mother is against it,” Mingi huffed. “She said we’d have no idea what we’re doing anyway and that it would only be a waste of time.”

Trying not to push too much, especially having only just been reunited with Hongjoong, he let his voice drop and eyed the older boy carefully. “Unless... someone was with us who knows about fishing.”

Hongjoong nodded, a tiny smirk on his face. He knew what Mingi was after. “Someone like myself?”

Mingi bit his lip and abandoned all restraint. “Please, Hongjoong? I promise we’ll make it worth your while! You’ll be like a partner to us, I’m sure Father can divide up the pay fairly. Besides, I know you hate all the horrible work your family makes you do— wouldn’t this be better? I’ll even work with you, drop out of school if I must—”

Hongjoong interrupted him before he became too desperate, “Of course I’ll help you. I’ve been out far enough several times this season, I know where the best fishing grounds are. Shellfish harvesting, too, if you’d like. I’ll do anything I can to help you, you have my word.”

Mingi’s eyes were already brimming with thankful tears. If not for Hongjoong— and Dahye, who’s idea the whole thing was in the first place— he couldn’t imagine where he’d be headed. He might as well have run off like Minseok and enjoy his days before the loan sharks found him if not for their help.

“We just need to convince Mother then,” he sighed with satisfaction. Mother was much more agreeable in the mornings, and if they planned their attack well enough, Mingi had a feeling she’d surrender.

“I can drop by your market stall tomorrow if you like,” Hongjoong suggested, already a step ahead. Mingi was once again eternally grateful for his strategic mind. “I’ll tell her there are schools of fish overpopulating with no one to farm them while the people starve, should that suffice?”

“I think so,” Mingi chuckled. Mother was always one to be riled up at rumours of death and devastation. “Make sure Father and I fit the job description, and don’t forget to brag about your sailing prowess.”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes and pushed Mingi over. “Subtlety is the trick, stupid.”

It was Mingi’s turn to spit out sand while Hongjoong giggled at him. “Hey, I’m serious! She already knows you survived one of the worst storms to hit Panhang, play to your strengths.”

The snorts of laughter died away and Mingi was suddenly afraid he had gone too far, but Hongjoong’s face was unreadable. He simply hummed and returned to his boat, dragging it out of the water and turning in the direction of Jangwon Hall.

“Alright, good luck getting hired!” Mingi called after him and Hongjoong waved back with a relaxed smile.

The light of the moon shone down on them, and Mingi felt a glimmer of hope again. It wouldn’t be easy, but they would be alright.

He was nervous all day at school waiting for his mother’s mind to be changed, but sure enough, when he returned she acquiesced and gave them her permission, conditional on their employing a certain boy.

That was the true beginning of Mingi and Hongjoong’s friendship.

Fishing was hard work, but Mingi enjoyed being taught by someone who wouldn’t make too much fun of him, so he went out on the water as often as he could in the following months.

A dozen or so little things he had never noticed about his friend began to pop out at him the more time they spent together, like the fact that he sometimes squeaked when he was laughing hard or the look in his eye when he was daydreaming.

Of course, there were things that bothered him too, like the way he refused to ask for help or the way he spent all his pay on jewellery, but it was like that with everyone Mingi knew. Even Dahye had certain annoying habits, and Mingi rarely ever found fault with Dahye.

Working meant spending less time with her, unfortunately, and with school in the morning and fishing in the afternoon if he could be spared, he had little energy to spend with anyone else.

They sat together and watched the sunset as often as they could while it was still mild, and it was enough to tide Mingi over when he was too tired for much else.

On returning home for bed, he found more and more frequently that Mother would stay out very late. The income they brought in from selling fish was decent, though lower than their previous occupation, but the family’s lifestyle hadn’t changed accordingly. Mingi began to suspect she was out working during the nights.

And the more it began to happen, the more he became suspicious of what type of work she was doing.

She pulled old dresses out of the closet and the entire house smelled of perfume before she left, and if Father had any complaints, he never voiced them.

He worked during the day, and his wife worked during the night. Her side of the bed was empty because she was in someone else’s.

And so Mingi watched her go from his spot atop the southeastern facing bluff, travelling into town where, hopefully, the strangers she serviced would treat her kindly.

There was nothing he could do but squeeze his eyes shut and try to sleep those nights, admonishing himself for jumping to conclusions and helpless to fix things if he was correct.

It seemed nothing he did was ever enough. No matter how many nets came back full, Mother wouldn’t rely on him. Her contingency plan could ruin them nearly as badly as Minseok’s blunder, and Mingi would do everything in his power to make sure it remained a secret, whether it was confirmed for him or not.

That’s what a loyal son must do, he thought as he glanced over at Minseok’s empty bed.

All his things remained, in the hopes that he would return one day, a prodigal son. But they couldn’t sit around and wait for him, Mingi knew this in his heart.

And so he would work until every last penny had been repaid. And he would keep his mouth shut like his life depended on it. For all he knew, it did.

...

A/N: As stories often do, this will clearly be getting darker in its second half, so just be aware! Thanks for waiting, it's been a busy holiday but I'm trying to get back into a schedule so updates should be forthcoming, fingers crossed 🤞🏻 Don't forget to let me know what you think!

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[spoookymuulders]

perchance to dream.

read it on ao3 here word count: 15,018 summary: With two families dead, the BAU is called to Colorado to try and connect the murders. Something about the deaths seems familiar to Reid, but he can't quite put his finger on it. And when a familiar face shows up, it throws another cog into the machine, complicating things further.

chapter one. such stuff as dreams are made on.

I was a child, and she was a child, in this kingdom by the sea. - Edgar Allan Poe

    She isn’t sure how long she’s been walking. All she knows is that she can’t stop. Her feet are torn up from sprinting through the underbrush, then over a dirt and gravel road, and now solid pavement. Every step is agony, but she keeps going, knowing that she has to find somewhere or someone with a phone. Not long ago she’d spied lights in the distance, and she’s been heading that way since. As she rounds a corner, her saving grace comes in the form of a payphone outside a corner store in a small town.

    Grateful that emergency numbers don’t require any sort of payment, she picks up the receiver and dials 911, leaning heavily against the terminal until someone answers.

    “911, what’s your emergency?” The voice crackles through the phone line, and she thinks she could cry.

 “I’m at the corner of..” She glances up, squinting in the dim light at the street signs, “I’m at the corner of Shepherd and Walton Street. Please help me.” The hoarseness of her voice surprises her - but then, she supposes it shouldn’t. She’d given up on screaming long ago, had stopped speaking entirely not long after that. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been in that hellhole, or how long it had been since she actually spoke at all, but now that she is, her throat burns.

    Very suddenly, she finds that her legs can support her no longer. As the dispatcher requests more information, she repeats her plea for help, and collapses onto the sidewalk. Her skirt puffs around her and she slumps tiredly, closing her eyes. A chill breeze blows across her bare back and she sucks in a breath, vaguely aware of the dispatcher’s voice promising that help is on the way and asking if she’s still there.

    It isn’t long after that she hears sirens and sees the lights blazing as two cops and an ambulance pull up. They stop at the payphone, the EMTs immediately scooping her onto their gurney and pulling her into the ambulance. As she lays down and they begin checking her vitals, she closes her eyes, the ghost of a small, tired half-smile touching at her lips.

    She’s done it. She’s gotten away.

****

    Reid sits at his desk, fiddling with the picture frame next to his computer quietly. It’s one spot of bright and happy on his desk, something to break up the gray dullness of the rest of it - of the rest of the office, really. It’s a photo from Parker’s sixteenth birthday, when she had managed to convince him to go to a waterpark with her and her family, insisting that he needed a break from being a boy genius for a few hours. He hadn’t argued, because he knew he’d lose, and he had ended up having a blast.

    In the photo, Parker is seated firmly on his back, his hands wrapped securely under her knees while her legs lock around his waist. Her arms are settled around his shoulders and she has her cheek smushed against his as they both beam at the camera. A few of her curls are blowing into their faces, and Spencer remembers with a sad smile the way they had tickled his nose and made him sneeze.

    “You got a girlfriend you’re not tellin’ us about, Reid?” A voice behind him asks, and he jumps, startled out of his reverie. Morgan is standing behind him, holding his hands up to show he means no harm, and Spencer shakes his head, huffing quietly.

    “What?” He asks, squinting a little. Brows raised, Morgan points at the photo. “Oh. No. Um - that’s my best friend, from Vegas.”

    “She’s cute.” Prentiss says, stopping behind Morgan. Spencer hums quietly, nodding. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention her.”

    “I haven’t seen her in years.” He muses quietly, and sometimes he hates that he works with profilers, because the next question that hits him from Morgan is what happened to her? And he knows that Morgan can just tell . “She went missing. Two weeks before her seventeenth birthday.”

    At that moment, JJ leans over the railing to tell them they have a case, and Spencer thanks whatever higher power there is because he can’t endure the pitying looks and the questions he’s sure they’ll start firing at him. He grabs his phone off his desk and pushes between Morgan and Prentiss, making his way to the briefing room silently.

    As he settles in his chair and focuses on the file JJ sets in front of him, he can feel eyes on him as Morgan and Prentiss come in, but he ignores them as hard as he can.

    “What’ve we got?” Hotch asks, settling in his chair, and Spencer is glad the focus is off of himself. Looking up at the screen, he frowns as JJ pulls the photos up.

    “The Rodriguez family of Lakewood, Colorado was found dead in their house this morning. Three of the four had been stabbed, one had been smothered with a pillow.” She says. Prentiss frowns, looking through the file slowly.

    “Why the change?” She muses, looking back up at the photos. JJ shrugs.

    “Nobody can quite figure that out. That’s why they called us in.” She says. “Two weeks ago, another family was found murdered in their homes, similar MO. Three stabbed, one had his arms and legs cut off, as well as his head, and the last one..” She sighs, grimacing and closing her eyes for a moment. “The mother was made to eat coals.”

    “ Coals ?” Morgan repeats, eyes widening just so. “What the hell is this guy’s deal?”

    “Well the way he’s going after families makes him sound like a family annihilator,” Spencer muses, frowning at his file. “But the different causes of death are interesting. Could we be dealing with more than one unsub?”

    “It’s possible.” Hotch hums, gathering his things up. “But we don’t have any time to waste. We can discuss this more on the plane, we’re wheels up in thirty.”

    He should’ve known better than to hope that he would get any semblance of rest on the plane, really. Spencer is content to just lay down and fall asleep on the couch in the back of the jet after they go over the case a couple more times, but Prentiss and Morgan sit down across from him and he can feel them staring at him.

    “What?” He sighs finally, turning his head to look at them.

    “Why didn’t you tell us about your friend?” Morgan asks, and Spencer sighs, rubbing his face and sitting up.

    “I didn’t think I needed to.” He says, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been looking for her since ‘98.” He tells them shortly, rubbing his cheeks when their eyes widen.

    “We can help you look for her, Reid.” Prentiss says gently, and Spencer shakes his head. He knows that tone - it’s the same tone he’d gotten from the police when he had checked in with them monthly. The tone that said sure we’ll look kid but meant she’s probably dead it’s too far past the first 24 to hope for anything different.

    But somewhere in his chest was this consistent ache. Something that told him she was still alive, and that she was out there waiting for him. He’s not usually one to believe in things like that, but Parker had told him once about a Chinese story that said when two soulmates were brought into the world, they were attached to each other by a red string. The red string of fate, she had called it. And he had told her that logically and scientifically, that made no sense, and she had laughed at him in the way that only she could and he knew she wasn’t making fun of him.

    It doesn’t have to make sense, Spencer, She had told him, hooking her right pinky through his and smiling at him. Soulmates and love don’t make sense most of the time. But that red string of fate connects us. I can feel it. And she had squeezed his pinky and kissed his cheek and he had felt himself blushing but that happened most of the time when she kissed him so it was nothing new.

    He holds onto that hope. That she was right, and that there was a red string of fate connecting them. And that that red string of fate was why he knew she was still alive.

****

    The Lakewood PD are more welcoming than other police departments they’ve encountered in the past, and they’re all more grateful for that than they can say. Almost as soon as they walk through the door, they’re informed of a girl who just showed up last night, and Hotch sends Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid to the hospital. He sends Rossi and JJ to the most recent crime scene and takes charge of setting up their HQ for the next few days with Garcia.

    Reid isn’t particularly looking forward to a twenty-minute car ride with Morgan and Prentiss, but he endures it.

    “Would you stop looking at me like that?” He asks after five minutes. Morgan jerks his eyes away from the rearview mirror and focuses out the windshield again.

    “Reid..” Prentiss starts, and he sighs. “What makes you so sure that.. Well, that your friend is still out there?” Reid sighs again, shaking his head. He’s heard this question a million times, he’s been told over and over again that he should give up looking for her and that she was probably killed a day after she disappeared.

    “I just know.” He says softly, looking out the window. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Prentiss open her mouth again and Morgan shake his head just so, and he appreciates the gesture. He closes his eyes, tipping his head back against the headrest, and listens as Morgan and Prentiss chatter quietly about the case for the rest of the ride.

    “She hasn’t said a word since we picked her up.” Detective Jonah Harris says after introductions are made. “Called 911 and only gave the cross street and said ‘help me’.” Prentiss nods, looking over the chart as they walk. Morgan reads over her shoulder as Reid jogs up beside them, pushing his hair back.

    He peers around the hospital as they walk, wrinkling his nose a little - he doesn’t like hospitals very much, he never has. Prentiss fills him in, stopping at the nurse’s station to look over the chart better - she finds it’s easier to read when she isn’t trying to walk at the same time. She hums thoughtfully as Reid nods, peering over her shoulder and reading through the chart silently.

    “What’s the name?” He asks, almost absently.

    “Right now she’s just a Jane Doe.” Morgan says. “She hasn’t given anyone her name, we’re not even sure if she remembers it.” Reid nods again, leaning against the nurse’s station lightly and crossing his arms. “We’re hoping we can get more out of her soon. Maybe try a cognitive interview.” He glances down the hall as footsteps round the corner, and he straightens a little, touching Reid’s arm lightly. When he speaks, his voice is quiet. “Reid.”

    As Morgan grabs his arm, a flash of gold catches Reid’s attention and he glances down the hall as well, his eyes widening just so. It’s two braids that have caught his eye - two braids the color of honey held up to the sun. Slim fingers twist the end of one of the braids absently, a habit he recognizes without question. At the sound of the detective stating that she’s their Jane Doe, the girl looks up, and Reid’s breath catches in his throat painfully, because he’d know those green eyes anywhere - he’s been dreaming of them every night since November of 1998. He pushes away from where he’s leaning against the counter and takes two steps forward, eyes wide.

    “Spencer?” She breathes, her voice hoarse and brittle. Swallowing thickly, he takes half a step closer, still staring at her.

    “Parker.” He whispers. She needs no more confirmation than that, and she launches herself out of the wheelchair she’s in and stumbles into his arms. He rushes down the hall and meets her halfway, catching her easily and crushing her against his chest. Frail arms wrap around his neck in a vice-like grip and she presses her face to his shoulder as he holds her against him, burying his nose in her hair, and he can feel tears dampening his shirt. Her legs lock around his waist and he sinks into a chair that’s been pushed against the wall, before pulling away long enough to look at her properly.

    Cupping her face, he brushes his thumbs along her cheekbones delicately, drinking her in. A bruise under her left eye is turning from purple and blue to green and yellow, and there’s a split in her lower lip, but it’s her.  

    “He took me, Spencer.” She sobs quietly, curling her fingers around his hands. “He - he - he came, and he took me right out of my bed, and-” Reid shakes his head.

    “I’m here. You’re okay, you’re safe now.” He whispers, sniffling, his own eyes brimming with tears. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” He rests her forehead to hers, closing his eyes.

    From down the hall, Morgan, Prentiss, and Detective Harris watch the two, three pairs of arms crossed over three chests, three pairs of eyes widening simultaneously.

    “Is that.. That can’t be the girl from his photo?” Prentiss says incredulously, glancing at Morgan. Still staring at the pair down the hall, he nods.

    “It is.” He murmurs, completely stunned.

    “I’ll be damned.” Prentiss says quietly, shaking her head.

    “I haven’t seen her talk or even move that much since we brought her in.” Harris muses quietly, shaking his head. “Even when we picked her up. She looked like hell, just.. Sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. She looks a little better now, but she’s still seriously malnourished. We were able to get her cleaned up. She had to have a female nurse with her in the bathroom for it, but she wouldn’t let the nurse do anything to help her. And she didn’t say a word after she called us. Not until today.”

    Prentiss shakes her head, rubbing her face slowly. “Well.” She sighs, watching the pair. “If anyone’s gonna get anything out of her, it sounds like it’s gonna be Reid.” Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out, stepping aside and pulling Morgan with her when she answers. “What’ve you got, PG?”

    “Not a whole lot.” Garcia says regretfully, frowning at her screen. “I ran everything you told me through the databases and there’s a lot of missing girls who fit the description you gave me.”

    “Okay, uh - well, we’ve got a name now.” Prentiss says, glancing back down the hall. “First name Parker.” She can hear Garcia hum on the other end of the line, her fingers tapping away at her keyboard at lightning speed.

    “Check missing persons reports from Vegas.” Morgan adds suddenly, leaning over.

    “Vegas?” Garcia repeats, frowning.

    “She knows Reid.” Morgan tells her, watching his friend and the girl in his lap down the hall. Garcia gasps quietly, and Morgan knows she’ll demand to be filled in later.

    “Mmm.. Oh! Here we go - Parker O’Hare, went missing from her home in Las Vegas in November of ‘98.” Garcia recites, staring at her computer screen intently. “Her parents were gone on a trip, so she was home alone, kidnapper hacked mom’s email and sent a message to the school saying she had the flu and they’d be keeping her home for the next week or so. She was sixteen.”

    “Who reported her missing when she didn’t come back to school after a week?” Morgan asks, brows furrowed.

    “I did.”

    Reid’s voice startles them, and they turn around, moving down the hall. Prentiss thanks Garcia and promises to fill her in later, following Morgan closely.

    “You filed the missing persons report.” Morgan repeats, settling into one of the chairs. Reid nods as Prentiss perches in the other chair, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

    “We grew up together.” Reid says, “Parker was the only one who never treated me like a freak, never called me names or teased me. She pushed Donnie Haskins off the swings once in second grade for making fun of me. He broke his nose the way he landed. Well, Parker was in second grade. Donnie Haskins was in fifth.” From her seat in his lap, Parker gives the ghost of a smile, her fingers brushing along the neckline of his sweater lightly. Prentiss glances at Reid and he nods just so. Shifting into Parker’s line of sight, she offers a gentle smile.

    “Parker, can you tell me what happened?” She asks softly, smiling encouragingly when Parker looks at her. “Take your time.” She glances at Morgan and asks for a cup of water, thanking him when he brings it over and setting it in front of the blonde.

    “My parents were gone.” She says after a few long moments. “They’d gone to see one of my dad’s old college buddies. I was supposed to go with them but I had to stay home ‘cause I had rehearsals for the musical. We were doing The Sound of Music . I was supposed to be Maria.” Her voice breaks a little, and Reid rubs her back slowly. Clearing her throat, she sniffs and continues.

    “Um - Spencer walked me home after my rehearsal and stayed for dinner. We did homework and I took a shower after he left and went to bed.” She mumbles. She keeps her eyes on the floor as she speaks, her fingers curling around the edge of Reid’s sweater. He covers her hand gently, brushing his thumb along her knuckles. “When I woke up, there was this guy just.. Standing over my bed staring at me. I tried to scream but he put a knife to my throat and told me to stay quiet or he’d kill me.”

    “And this is the man who.. Kept you?” Prentiss asks, watching Parker. She nods, glancing up at Prentiss. “Can you tell me anything else about him? What did he look like?”

    “I never.. Really saw him.” Parker whispers, looking back at the floor. “He never let me. I heard his voice, he talked to me a lot. But he never let me see his face. Every time we’d be face-to-face, he.. He had a mask on, or he’d keep a hood down low over his face.” She looks, meeting Prentiss’ eyes, and the older woman can see just how tired she truly is. “He made me call him William.” Prentiss nods, offering a small smile.

    “We’ll find who did this.” She promises. “Can you tell me how you got away?” Parker furrows her brows for a moment as she thinks.

    “He was.. Out?” She says finally. “I remember hearing.. Hearing a door open somewhere, and then everything was really quiet for a while. And he’d left - he’d dropped a pocket knife when he came into my room the night before, and I don’t think he realized it. He had me tied to a bedpost and.. And I got the knife and I was able to cut through the rope.” Prentiss nods, glancing at Morgan - they both know the question she has to ask next, and they both know Reid isn’t going to like it. And Parker won’t, either, and the last thing Prentiss wants to do is upset the poor girl.

    “Parker.. I hate to have to ask this, and I know it’s an uncomfortable question.” She says gently, watching the girl as she looks up. “Did he ever.. Force himself on you?” Parker shakes her head quickly.

    “No. No, never.” She says, “I always.. Expected him to, but he never did.”

    She can feel Spencer’s hand tensing a little over hers, and she shifts her hand to wrap her thin fingers around his wrist gently. Morgan watches this interaction quietly, and any doubts he might’ve had about this girl being Reid’s long-lost best friend dissipate as he watches Reid’s hand relax while her fingers brush along the side of his wrist.

    Half an hour later, Reid had stepped away long enough to call Parker’s mother and make sure she could catch the next flight to Colorado. Prentiss had gone to a shop nearby to get the girl something other than a hospital gown to wear, and Morgan is on the phone with Hotch, filling him in. Spying Reid as he rounds the corner, he waves and jogs over as he hangs up the phone and tucks it into his pocket.

    “So that’s your girl, huh?” He asks, peering into the room. Reid nods, watching as Prentiss ushers Parker into the bathroom to change and hovers just outside the door.

    “It’s from her sixteenth birthday. The photo.” Spencer tells him, exhaling quietly. “First time I ever went to a waterpark.” Morgan smiles a little, nodding, and puts his hands on his hips lightly. He watches Reid for a moment, then sighs softly.

    “Listen, kid..” He says after a moment, crossing his arms when Reid looks up at him. “She’s not gonna be the same girl you knew. You know that, right?” Reid nods, turning his gaze back to the room and leaning against the wall.

    “I know.” He says quietly, rubbing his face slowly. He looks up again after a moment and Morgan reaches out, squeezing his shoulder gently when he sees tears in Reid’s dark eyes. “I’m not dreaming, right? This is - I’m awake, this is all happening?” Chuckling quietly, Morgan nods and leans against the wall beside Reid. “I’ve had this dream.. A million times.”

    “I’m not surprised.” Morgan hums, glancing at his friend. “Losing someone you’re so close to, at that age and in that way.. I can only imagine.” Reid nods and moves to perch in a chair, running a hand through his hair.

    “I’ve had so many different versions of this dream.” He mutters, hanging his head for a moment. Morgan sits beside him in another chair and waits patiently. “There've been versions of it where.. Almost this exact thing happens. There are versions where I get a call in the middle of the night and it’s her, or when she just walks through the front door of my apartment like nothing ever happened. And then..” Swallowing thickly, he looks over his shoulder and watches as Parker comes out of the bathroom and thanks Prentiss, looking much more comfortable in a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

    “Then?” Morgan prompts, tipping his head. He already knows the answer, he’s sure, and he won’t push it if Reid doesn’t want to talk about it, but something in the younger man’s face tells him he does.

    “Then there are the ones where I find her.” Reid says finally. Morgan doesn’t need to ask what he means. “It’s like.. The most common one is I come home and open the door and she’s just - there. In the middle of my living room on the floor, and I can’t even tell how long she’s been there, but I know it’s her.” Reaching over, Morgan rubs his back slowly and sighs. “And - and I know how lucky this is. I mean, you know the statistics as well as I do, by all accounts she should’ve been dead 24 hours after he took her. But for some reason he kept her alive all these years, and I just keep wondering-”

    “Why.” Morgan finishes for him. Reid nods, looking over and meeting Morgan’s eyes finally, and Morgan is struck by how tired Reid looks. “Go sit with her.” He says gently, waving a hand. “Prentiss and I’ll go back to the office and start working on a profile. We’ll fill everyone in. I’ll stop by your place and bring you a change of clothes later.” Smiling tiredly, Reid stands and lets Morgan hug him, clapping him on the back lightly and mumbling a thank you before slipping back into the room.

    Prentiss comes out as Reid goes in, squeezing his shoulder gently and going to stand beside Morgan. They watch as Reid pads to the bed and perches beside Parker, brushing a stray curl out of her face. The look in her eyes and the tenderness in her tired smile tells Morgan everything he needs to know and he hums quietly, draping an arm around Prentiss’ shoulders and turning her around.

    “C’mon, we got a profile to start.” He says as they go. “Coffee on me.”

    “I called your mom.” Spencer says softly, letting his hand fall from Parker’s cheek gently. “She’s gonna catch the next flight, she should be here tomorrow afternoon.” Sniffling quietly, Parker nods and takes his hand, brushing her fingers along the lines of his palm slowly. It’s a soothing action he hasn’t felt in years - something she’d done when they were teenagers to calm her anxieties.

    “Were they okay?” She asks quietly, glancing up at him. He hums thoughtfully, nodding after a moment. He’d told her before he’d stepped out to call her mother that her father had passed last year, had held her without complaint while she cried through that.

    “They struggled.” He says honestly. “We all did. But they did as okay as they could. They moved to Vienna a few years ago.” The smallest of smiles touches her lips and she nods just so - her favorite song, Vienna, had been the inspiration for the move, Spencer tells her. A crack of thunder outside catches their attention and they both glance towards the window as rain starts pelting the window. Parker shifts to the side of the bed, laying down slowly and keeping her hold on Spencer’s hand.

    “Will you stay with me?” She whispers, and his heart breaks to see the fear in her eyes. He shifts to lay next to her and she tucks herself against his side, relaxing a little when he settles an arm around her and brushes his fingers through her hair.

    “Nothing could make me leave.” He whispers back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She closes her eyes and rests her hand on his chest, just over his heart. Settling his free hand over hers, he watches the rain for a moment before she whispers his name.

    “Read me something?” She asks quietly, glancing up at him.

    “I didn’t bring a book.” He murmurs, smiling a little when she laughs quietly.

    “Never stopped you before.” She hums, closing her eyes again. He hums back, brushing his thumb along her knuckles and closes his eyes for a moment, flipping through his mental bookshelf and selecting a volume - one that he remembers is one of her favorites. Poetry had always been a subject she enjoyed, and though her favorite is Emily Dickinson, he knows she loves Poe just as much.

    “It was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea,” he begins, “that a maiden there lived whom you may know, by the name of Annabel Lee..”

    He’s finished Annabel Lee and is halfway through The Raven when he realizes she’s asleep, breathing slowly, deeply, peacefully. Settling the stark hospital blanket over the both of them, he closes his eyes and lets her breathing lull him into his own slumber.

We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep. - William Shakespeare

[onewfantaesy]

In firehouse surrender au, Boa finally convinces Heechul to meet Taemin by the end of that summer. It’s a couple weeks before Taemin starts sixth grade, and he’s already turned eleven-years-old.

“What if he doesn’t like me?” Heechul asks, sounding a little breathless as he sits with Boa. They’re at the same coffee shop where Boa net Taemin and Minho at the beginning of the summer, and Boa even got them the same booth and the same order of coffees and frappes waiting for Taemin and Minho.

“Don’t be stupid,” Boa teases him. “He’s been very excited to meet you. He lights up whenever I tell him stories about you.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m not what he thought I was gonna be?”

Before Boa can answer, she hears Taemin’s voice from the front of the shop.

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

Taemin’s voice was quiet, hardly noticeable over the music and other idle chatter. But Boa heard it, and it broke her heart. And she could tell Heechul had heard it as well.

“You have nothing to be afraid of,” Minho tells him softly. “You were scared to meet Boa, and look how well that turned out, huh?”

“But that was different,” Taemin says, his voice strained.

“Well even if he doesn’t like you,” Minho says, “you will always have me. I promise.”

When they get in sight of the booth, Taemin gasps when he sees Heechul and Boa already sitting there, and he steps a little behind Minho. Heechul feels his heart pounding in his chest.

“Hi,” Heechul says softly. “I’m Uh - I’m Heechul.”

When Taemin doesn’t say anything for a moment, Minho laughs.

“Hi,” Minho says, one hand ruffling the back of Taemin’s hair as he looks down at him. “Go on, say hi.”

“Hi,” Taemin mumbles.

“He’s shy,” Minho laughs even when Taemin pouts and pinches his arm, and he holds his hand out to shake Heechul’s. “I’m Minho. And this is Taemin.”

Minho ushers Taemin to sit in the booth, and then sits down next to him.

“It’s,” Heechul starts, not quite able to find the right words. “I’m glad to finally meet you - both of you!”

“It’s good to meet you too,” Minho tells him. “Taemin’s been very curious about you.”

“Oh, really?”

Heechul sounds genuinely surprised. Taemin just fiddles with the straw in his drink.

“Well, um,” Heechul says, “what did you want to know?”

Taemin is somehow more nervous now than when he met Boa. His heart is pounding, his palms are all gross and sweaty, and he’s just nervous.

“What do you, uh, whattaya do for work?” Taemin asks, his words fumbling over each other.

Heechul laughs a little.

“I’m in advertising,” he says. “Nothing exciting.”

“Oh.”

And Taemin takes a long sip from his drink. Minho just scoffs.

“You’ve been talking my ear off all day, and now you’re quiet as a mouse?” Minho teases, trying to get Taemin to smile. It works when he finally pokes Taemin’s side. “You had tons of questions. Now’s your time to ask them.”

Minho wraps an arm around Taemin’s shoulders, giving him a little reassuring squeeze.

“Are you still friends with each other?” Taemin asks.

“Oh, yeah!” Heechul laughs, turning to smirk at Boa. “She’d be lost without me.”

“We’re friends,” she confirms. “But we haven’t dated for a long time.”

“Oh. Um,” he fiddles with his drink and then peeks at Minho to whisper, “I forgot all my questions.”

It makes them all laugh a little.

“Well if you remember any of them,” Heechul tells him, “you can ask me anytime.”

Taemin smiles at him.

“Can I ask you a couple questions?” Heechul asks, and when he gets a nod back, he follows up with, “So what’s your favorite school subject?”

“History,” Taemin says without missing a beat. “And science. But I’m not very good at science.”

“Those are two very interesting subjects,” Heechul laughs, mainly because it’s so opposite of what he had been interested in as a child.

“I like dinosaurs and space, so I take what I can get.”

When Heechul sees the little smirk on Taemin’s face, it makes him just laugh.

“Dinosaurs and space, huh?”

“The dinosaurs are a fading interest,” Taemin answers, waving his hands. “I’m getting older, ya know?”

“Yeah,” Heechul says in a breathless voice. Taemin didn’t really seem to notice.

“I also like PE, but that’s just ‘cause I like any excuse to play soccer,” Taemin says, and then he starts talking on and on about his soccer team and how he always plays with his cousin, and how his dad has been his coach almost every season since he was four and started playing.

“So do you only play soccer?” Heechul asks.

“I do dance, too,” Taemin says. “Also with Kai. But only when it’s not soccer season, and we don’t do that competition shit-”

“Language,” Minho warns him quickly. Taemin just smiles at him.

“I’ve done, uh,” Taemin holds up his hand and starts listing off types of dance with his fingers, “jazz, tap, contemporary, a little ballet, and lyrical. I like contemporary best. I only do the others if they make us. I did acro for a little bit but then I did a flip and broke my foot and so I’m never doing it again.”

“He was six,” Minho informs them, laughing. “And you didn’t break your foot, you sprained your ankle. Big difference.”

“It still hurt!”

“So dance is a big thing for you?” Heechul asks.

“I guess,” Taemin says with a shrug. “It’s same as soccer. It’s just fun.”

Sometimes people give him and Kai a hard time for taking dance. Say it’s girly. Taemin gets very defensive about it. But Heechul just seems curious, doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything mean, so Taemin doesn’t snap at him or anything.

They spend a couple hours talking. Minho and Boa pitch in every so often, but they both want Taemin and Heechul to be the main focus today.

“So what do you wanna be when you grow up?” Heechul asks.

“A firefighter!” Taemin answers instantly, a proud grin on his face. “Like my dad.”

Minho squeezed his shoulder, and Taemin looked very happy and proud. Heechul loved it, but it also sent a small pang to his chest. He was a little jealous, but he’d never admit it. Not to Taemin. Not to Minho. That wouldn’t be fair to them.

“Boa said the whole family have been firefighters,” Heechul says.

“Oh, yeah!” Taemin says, perking up. “Uncle Key is a firefighter. And Uncle Onew is a Captain. And Uncle Changmin is Chief, and Grampa was Chief before him! I’m gonna be Chief one day, too.”

“Oh, are you now?” Minho teases, never having heard Taemin say that last bit before.

“Uh-huh,” Taemin says, turning to smirk at Minho. “M’gonna put you outta a job one day.”

“You’re too much,” Minho snorts, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, speaking of Chiefs,” Minho says, tapping Taemin’s cheek. “Uncle Changmin is working late today. Do you want to bring him a coffee and a dessert on our way home?”

“Oooh, yeah!”

“Here,” Minho says, pulling out his wallet and giving him a $20 bill. “Go get him something good.”

“Should we bring Uncle Key somethin’ too?”

“Ugh, I guess,” Minho teases. “Get him a cookie or something.”

“Kay!”

Minho lets Taemin out of the booth, and when he’s safely over at the counter, he turns to Heechul and Boa.

“I hope him talking about the firehouse doesn’t upset either of you,” he says softly. “But he’s really grown up there. Our whole family has.”

“No, it’s alright!” Heechul says quickly. “I just - Boa had said your family worked there, that he wanted to be a fireman too. It’s just different, hearing it from him.”

“It’s sweet how much he admires you,” Boa says, a smile on her face. “It’s nice to see.”

“Thank you,” Heechul says softly. “For taking him. It’s obvious how much he adores you, and how well you’ve raised him.”

“I’ve told Boa this countless times,” Minho tells him gently, “but you both gave me the greatest gift. Taemin is the light of my life. I can’t imagine my life without him. So thank you.”

That’s when Taemin comes back with an iced drink and two baggies.

“I got Uncle Changmin the gross americano thing he likes,” he says, sticking out his tongue. “And a cinnamon roll. And I got Uncle Key a sugar cookie that looks like a beach ball.”

“Perfect,” Minho says, standing up and turning back to the two across the booth. “We really should get going. But we shouldngrt together again sometime, if we’d all like that.”

Taemin nods his head very quickly, moving back to slightly hide behind Minho as he waits for Heechul’s answer.

“Yeah, I’d really like that,” Heechul answers. Then he fumbles with his pocket and pulls out a little box. “Oh! And um, I know it’s late but - happy birthday.”

He gives it to Taemin, and Taemin looks shocked as he takes it. Sure, Boa had given him a gift last month for his birthday, but he never thought Heechul would give him something.

“Thank you,” Taemin says softly.

Taemin waves a little as they leave, and when he gets in the car, he immediately rips open the wrapping paper and giggles.

“It’s baby Yoda,” Taemin snickers, waving the little toy package up.

“You’ll have to send him a thank you card,” Minho reminds him. “I’ll see if I can get the address from Boa.”

“Kay,” Taemin mumbles, his fingers fluttering over the birthday card that came with it. It’s simple. Star Wars themed. But what makes him most happy is that it’s just signed, “Love, Heechul”.

Taemin had mostly been afraid of finding a birth father that would want to replace Minho. That would try to pull some biological rank over him. That’s what Taemin was scared of. But it seemed like Heechul didn’t have that sort of intention at all. Taemin was very grateful for that.

Because Minho might not be his biological father, but he’s his dad.

[siriuslyblack12]

chapter 8

Remus watched as his fingers drummed along the table, seemingly separate from his own mind and body. Dinner with the Lupin family usually passed uneventfully, some light chatter and praise of whomever cooked the meal, and tonight was no exception. Or so was to be thought. Aimlessly poking his food with his fork, Remus racked his brain for something to say, anything that would shift his focus from the heaviness of his heart. He’d been on and off about this plan all day, but he was finally going through with it. Maybe.

 He was going to come out to his parents.

 He had no idea how, but he was.

 “The neighbours’ cats have been in the garden again, walked all over the flowers and everything.” Mr Lupin looked up from over the meal in front of him to see his son, quiet as a mouse, “How come you’re not eating, Re? You alright?”

 “I’m just not that hungry.” Remus admitted.

 His parents gave each other a look, a look that was common between the two when dealing with their son’s habits. They knew they had to help him, but they also had come to realise that the only way to do that was to make him feel comfortable. “I’ll get you some chocolate when I go to the shops after tea, how does that sound?”

 “Thank you,” Remus muttered gratefully, running a hand through his hair.

 And it continued like that whilst the meal slowly came to an end, warm yet distant conversation. The only thoughts in his head were doubts, anxieties, worries and negativity, not a hint of the positive outlook he occasionally had took (one he had to take, considering who he was friends with). Memories of his father making homophobic jokes when Remus was too young to know any better were there too. An offhanded comment every now and again, a scowl at two men holding hands down the street.

 He’s your father, he’ll learn to understand.

 But what if he doesn’t?

 “Re, darling, are you sure everything’s alright?” He could hear his mother say vaguely.

 His head snapped up defiantly, “Yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” The dismissive tone only made Mrs Lupin tilt her head, kind eyes studying Remus’s face. He was so unbelievably flustered that what he said next took a few minutes to get out, “Actually, mum and dad, can I-, can I talk to you about something?”

 His mother smiled, “Of course. Take your time, love.”

 Remus cleared his throat, though it came out as more of a violent cough. His cutlery was placed onto the table shakily as he gathered his nerves, pushing his plate away from him as to have no distractions. Even his father had abandoned his food to give his full attention. “Well, it’s not a big deal… well, it is but-, it doesn’t change anything.”

 He took another deep breath, before continuing with the gentle prompts of his parents. “I know that you love me no matter what, and this really doesn’t change anything. It’s just something I’ve wanted to say for a while, and recently it’s been more important to me-” He smirked subtly at the thought. “You both know Sirius, right?”

 “After he was here most of summer, yeah we know him.” Mr Lupin supplied.

 “Well, yeah. It’s just that he’s…” His eyes closed for a second, savouring his last moments before it was said. The last moments before everything would be out into the open, and there would be no secrets between them. “He’s my boyfriend.”

 His father’s face didn’t move, “What?”

 “I’m bisexual, dad. I like girls and boys. I like Sirius.”

 Without a moment of hesitation, Mrs Lupin burst out of her chair to wrap her son in a tight hug, tripping slightly over the table but getting there nonetheless. She pressed kisses all over his face, holding it between her arms as she laughed wetly. Remus was taken aback but hid that surprise with his face pressed into her jumper. “I’m so proud of you, love, so proud. The only thing it changes is that Sirius needs to come over for tea one night, yeah?”

 “Hope, calm down,” Mr Lupin warned.

 “Re, you’re so brave, so brave.” She praised, ignoring her husband. “We love you, we always have, we always will. How long have you known?”

 Mrs Lupin released Remus from her hold on him but pulled her chair to sit right in front of him and hold his hands. “I think for a couple of years-”

 “What?” Mr Lupin interrupted rudely. “We’re just supposed to except this that quickly?”

 Time seemed to stand still as Remus processed what he had said. He didn’t even bother to look in his father’s direction, instead staying with his eyes burned into his mother. She made an offended noise, “Lyall, come on now.”

 “Back in my day that wasn’t even a real thing, you’re just confused.” He shook his head dismissively and continued with the food on his plate, the only one still doing so. “And there’s no need to drag the Black boy down into that with you. He’s a good kid, good with girls.”

 Remus didn’t even realise what he was saying before it came tumbling from his mouth, but couldn’t bring himself to regret it once it did, “It’s a shame he’s gay then, isn’t it?”

 “You’re seventeen! How can you know that?”

 His mother’s grip on his hands hadn’t released itself and was now serving as a tether to reality. The only thing keeping him steady. “We were younger than that, Lyall.”

 “Well we’re not shirt-lifters, are we!” He shouted rather uncharacteristically, before settling back down into his seat. “Re, you know I love you, but you can’t expect me to just… accept this.”

 As soon as he heard it, Remus raised from his chair and walked hazily out of the room, unable to bear his father’s judgement. He could vaguely hear his mother calling out to him, but his ears were ringing with realisations going through his head. It burned with the pressure. He doesn’t accept me. He doesn’t love me. Not anymore.

 Stop thinking like that. Another voice in his head jumped in, Sirius’s voice. It’s not going to help.

 He stumbled into his bedroom, much more gracefully than before with the added confidence that the thought of Sirius brought him. His hand reached for his phone and he pulled it out- his eyes lingering on Sirius’s contact. I can’t bother him with this. It’s going well, we don’t need this. But before his pessimism could get to him, he sent the other boy a simple snapchat, a blank picture with the words “I told my parents”. Nervous yet relieved, Remus fell back onto his bed to wait impatiently for his boyfriend’s reply.

 Seconds slipped into minutes as time passed slower than he thought possible. For the third time that night his thoughts started to spiral, negativity overcoming him while his rational thoughts grasped at straws, trying to keep him afloat. Luckily, he was startled out of his own head by the sharp melody of his ringtone.

 Scrambling to pick it up, his clumsy limbs must have knocked over most of his night stand in the process, but once it was in his hand he pressed accept. The hazelnut brown of Sirius’s eyes through FaceTime already made him feel better. They sat in silence for a moment, until the boy before him spoke softly, “How’d it go, baby?”

 “I-, um, not so good.” He stuttered, hoping Sirius would understand somehow. One of those telepathic things that couples could do. “My dad…”

 “I’m so sorry, god Re, that’s awful. I swear I’ll kill him if I have to.”

 Remus let out a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding. “You don’t have to, he’ll come around, I know he will. He’s just surprised, that’s all.” Sirius nodded along as he spoke. “My mum was really good, you know her, she’s really excited that it’s you as well.” He chuckled at that.

 “I’ve always loved you mum,” Sirius began. “How is she?”

 “She’s fine, she’s great. I-, she wants you to come over for tea one night. Maybe.” He replied slowly.

 “I’d love that baby, I really would.” They both smiled giddily at each other, the tawny-haired boy not quite as happily as he usually would.

 Three soft knocks sounded on his door, and he looked to see his mum stood in the doorway. Remus hurried through his goodbyes, assuring Sirius that he was okay and that they’d speak later, before being wrapped in a tight embrace; his chin hooked over her shoulder, relishing in the comfort.

 It’ll be okay, he thought. It’s going to be okay.

  ~~

  “C’mon Moons, you just need to stop worrying about it. What’s done is done, you know?”

 They were all sat on their lunch table, James and Peter making conversation with the girls but now seemingly more concerned with their friend. Sirius’s arms lay across Remus’s shoulders, tighter than usual but the latter was grateful for the change. His anxiety had been getting much worse of late, and his dad was only fueling the fire. He couldn’t even meet his sons’ eyes that morning, the exact opposite of how he would have acted before. Before everything changed. Before I ruined it.

 “Re, I can practically hear you thinking right now.”

 “Sorry, sorry,” He murmured quietly.

 The arm around his shoulders only tightened as he leaned his head back onto Sirius’s chest, smiling slightly, but not quite widely enough.

 “We can’t have our Moony feeling like shit now can we,” James interjected far too cheerfully. “He needs something… a distraction.”

 Marlene quirked her head to one side, the curls of her blonde hair falling along with it. “In case any of you idiots forgot, it’s my birthday on Monday and my parents are out this weekend. I was thinking of throwing a little get together.” She paused, before adding slyly, “Invitation only, of course.”

 “And we’re just hearing about this now!” James said in mock offence, before turning to Remus and asking his opinion.

 “I’m not so sure a party is the best idea, we only had one last week.” He replied sheepishly.

 “It won’t be a party. Just us and some friends, we’ll have fun.” Marlene encouraged, nodding to the others for some back up.

 There was a general hum of agreement, until the only voice he truly cared about voiced itself. “I have to agree with Marlene, babe. It’ll be good to get your mind off things, even if it’s only for a night.” Sirius seemed as though he was convincing himself too.

 Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, Remus scanning his eyes for any hidden intention, but he couldn’t find it.

 Maybe it would be nice to let loose and be a teenager for once.

 ~~

  “For the last time, we’re not playing never have I ever, we’re not 12 years old!” Marlene rolled her eyes.

 “C’mon, Marls, it’s not like we have anything else to do.”

 She looked over at James from where he’d spoken from the chair next to her and got up to punch him in the shoulder, “It’s not my fault you’re all boring.”

 Shouts of praise sounded all around the living room they were all sat in, various people on the floor with no space left on any furniture. Turns out 8 people struggle to fit comfortably in a 3-person space. Sirius was one of the unlucky ones, sitting cross-legged on the floor, leaning his back against Remus’s legs. Raising his drink to his lips (non-alcoholic, Marlene’s parents had made her swear not to get people drunk whilst they were away) he smiled, “There’s no harm in never have I ever, McKinnon.”

 “As if you have a say, Black.” Marlene side-eyed him. “What does your boyfriend think?”

 Sirius put more of his weight against the boy in question, tilting his head back to look at him square in the face, “What does he think?” He prompted playfully.

 “I think,” Remus said lazily, playing with Sirius’s head of hair and scanning the room. To his left, James was sat, his legs across Lily’s lap. She seemed to have no objections, leading Remus to wonder if they’d finally gotten their shit together. To his right, Peter was in an armchair, knees to his chest, oblivious to the people around him; with Mary in the other armchair across the room. Marlene and Dorcas were both on the floor, deep within each other’s personal space in a tangle of limbs and love. Remus continued, “That we’re a little past the point of being too old for things. Remember when you made us have a Tinkerbell marathon?”

 “That was ironic!” Marlene threw her arms up exasperatedly. “I don’t actually like them. It was a good laugh.”

 “Is that why you cried when her wings tore?” Someone interjected.

 Marlene fell against Dorcas’s shoulder, as if they hadn’t been sat close enough already, “Remind me again why I’m friends with any of you.”

 They all erupted in laughter, sharing fond smiles and nudging each other. James took his legs from Lily’s lap and turned to face the girls on the floor, smiling just like everyone else as he spoke cheerily, “Whatever, unless you have any more complaints, I’ll start. Rules are simple: put a finger down if you’ve done it. Never have I ever…” He combed one hand through his messy hair, the other one stroking his chin as he thought, “…been arrested.”

 When nobody put a finger down, Mary jumped in, “I do not believe that for a second! Sometimes I wonder how you boys even got your reputations.”

 The boys shrugged, eyeing each other innocently as Lily jumped in before anything else could be said, “Alright then, never have I ever gotten drunk.”

 “Y’all are liars, I swear,” Mary huffed, putting a finger down as Remus, Sirius, James and Marlene did the same. Surprise was directed at Dorcas, who hid behind her hair to brush it off. She took the attention away from it as she said, “Ok, ok, my turn. Never have I ever had sex.”

 Various people barked shouts of disagreement, utterly shocked that she would ask such a thing. “That’s not very PG of you, Miss Meadowes!” Sirius said in a rather inaccurate impression of McGonagall. She put her own finger down proudly, followed by a pink-cheeked Marlene from beside her. James did the same, to the surprise of absolutely no one in the room. Surveying the couple to his right, he became suddenly curious, “I’d have thought Padfoot and Moony would be all over each other by now, surely.”

 Remus blushed profusely, looking down at Sirius to avoid the looks of the people around him. They hadn’t talked about the subject before, neither of them making any moves to take the relationship further than they had. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of it before, hadn’t wanked to the very thought of it but it was far too soon, and definitely not the right time. Thinking about it was enough… for the time being.

 Sirius coughed loudly, “And I’d have thought you’d stop being a dick after Primary School, but alas, we were both wrong.”

 James threw his middle finger up, his eyebrows and the corner of his mouth both raised slightly. “Whatever, what about Mary and Wormy? You guys not done anything yet either?”

 Remus looked over at Peter to see him in a similar red-faced state to what he’d been a few moments prior just as he looked over at his girlfriend for guidance. She shrugged, “Alright, stop perving on other people’s sex lives, people are going to think you’re creepy or something.”

 “We couldn’t have that, could we?” He responded snarkily.

 The game continued similarly for a while, various people asking various questions that invaded their privacy far too much. They’d always been an open group of friends, nothing to hide or keep from the others and they took pride in that. Not many people could say that.

 “Never have I ever liked women!” Sirius declared brashly, followed by eyerolls and groans from practically everyone.

 “Now you’re playing dirty, Pads.” James chastised. “Never have I ever liked men.”

 Sirius shook his head. “I’m sure you’ve had you’ve had your fair share of gay thoughts in the past, Prongs. You’re friends with Moony, for fucks sake, you’re straight but you’re not blind.”

 He looked up at Remus with both loving and giddy eyes, expecting a him to be angry at the compliment. Instead, he was given a pointed look and an affectionate ruffle of his hair, Remus ignoring the delighted noise he made and grin he wore. This served as a distraction from whatever James was saying, just staring at his boyfriend in awe. How did I find someone so willing to put up with my bullshit?

 Remus had a similar thought himself, Why am I so willing to put up with his bullshit?

 “Just for the record,” James had gotten up from his seat to get another drink, and talked from behind the door, “I haven’t ever thought of Moony that way, but I see where you’re coming from.”

 “Oi! You’ll pay for that!” Sirius got up and run after him.

 He may be an idiot, Remus thought fondly. But he’s my idiot.

  ~~

  A little while later, as the end of the night rapidly approached, the usually rowdy group of friends was quiet with tiredness and subdue, getting ready to leave. Outside was a beautiful sunset, oranges and reds and yellows like a perfect painting: picturesque, almost. Anybody looking in would assume the same, the perfect group of friends on a perfect night. They couldn’t be more wrong, Remus thought, partially self-hating but also more watching the idiots in front of him. He was cuddled into Lily’s side, both laughing as James and Sirius took turns in a game of charades. Somehow, it was entertaining.

 “Okay, okay, TV, 2 words,” Sirius stumbled as James acted it out over-exaggeratedly. “Hannah Montana! You’re obsessed with that show!”

 “I haven’t even started yet, Pads.”

 Sirius waved him off, “Was I wrong though?”

 James looked once at him, then at Remus and Lily on the sofa, before sighing and throwing himself on the floor, “You’re no fun.”

 Prompting Sirius expectedly, they hollered as he rose and took James’s place standing in the middle of the room. He made a few unidentifiable gestures, more like flailing his arms and contorting his face when the room was blank. Remus smiled, entranced and enthralled, as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to meet a nervous-looking Peter, chewing his lip and wringing his fingers. “Can you help me with…the um, the Birthday cake?” He whispered.

 “Of course,” He said, suspicious at his tone but following him through to the kitchen.

 Mary called out from where she was deep in conversation with Marlene and Dorcas, “Are you alright?”

 He nodded quickly and unconvincingly, pulling at Remus’s hand to take them both out of the room, breathing heavily. Remus checked to see that no one was had followed them, and leaned forward, “Pete, mate, what’s up? I know it’s not the cake.”

 “It’s nothing, I just wanted to talk to you about something.” He took another deep breath, composing himself before tilting his head away. He avoided the other’s eyes as he said, “You said that you and Sirius haven’t had sex yet, yeah?”

 “Peter, I swear to god-”

 “Remus, just hear me out. Please,” He pleaded, hands clasping together. Remus’s face softened slightly, still unsure of what was going on but asking him to continue. “It’s just that I know Mary wants to, like, really wants to, and I just…”

 He groaned, his frustration with himself and the situation apparent. Remus could guess what he was going to say but wasn’t going to take the moment away from him. Peter continued, “I’ve never really thought about it to be honest. I mean, I have, I sat in all those sex ed lessons and stuff but… I don’t get it! I don’t want to do it! And I know that Mary’s only waiting for me to be ready, but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. God, I sound so stupid, don’t I?”

 “You don’t sound stupid, Pete.” He smiled in understanding and support. “Have you heard of asexuality?”

 “What?”

 “Asexuality,” He repeated slowly, sounding out every syllable. “It’s when you don’t experience sexual attraction. It’s completely normal, actually quite common.”

 Peter’s face turned from one of embarrassment to one of pure shock and intrigue, eyes wide and shining. His mouth gaped. Laughing slightly, Remus continued, “It’s like a whole spectrum, some people are completely opposed to sex, other people like kissing and stuff but nothing further. Have you never heard of it before?”

 “I thought I was broken.” Peter whispered, causing Remus to make a sad noise in the back of his throat. Whilst he didn’t personally relate to the experience, he could at least show his sympathy. He’d remembered reading about it when he was researching his own identity, desperately filling out ‘What’s my sexuality’ quizzes as he grasped at the support this anonymous online community gave him. Support that Dad doesn’t give me.

 He will… eventually.

 “It’s also something that you should consider discussing with your girlfriend, you know. Whenever you’re ready.”

 “I know, I know, I just didn’t want to disappoint her.” Peter admitted honestly and quietly. A surge of sadness burst through Remus’s bones as he listened to what Peter had said. They both knew that Mary would accept him, but he supposed that paranoia was a part of the coming out experience.

 Before he could give any consolation, Sirius and James burst into the kitchen, “Alright mates, dad’s threatening to get a takeaway without us if we’re not home soon so we best be off.”

 Sirius walked over to where Remus was leaning against the counter and brought him in for a bruising kiss. “How was it tonight, love?”

 “Great, thanks for doing this.” He ducked sheepishly.

 James threw his head back and made a vomiting noise, “As much as I’d like to stay here and watch you two snog for the rest of the night, we really have to go.”

  ~~

  It was only a few minutes later as James and Sirius made their way down the street to the Potter’s house, pitch black with an evening breeze, both kicking at pebbles and humming to themselves. It was most likely a song that had been overplayed in the summer, or a Christmas tune that they couldn’t wait to be relevant again. James looked over at his friend, pushing his glasses further up his nose, “Do you think Remus is going to be okay?”

 Sirius sighed sadly, “Sure, yeah, it’s just hard right now. He’ll have forgot all about it by tomorrow, I bet.”

 “Is that what you did?”

 A stray pebble was kicked in James’s direction as soon as he said it. “Can we please go back to talking about your shitty love life. What was with you and Evans, huh? Snuggling up to each other, I thought she hated you.”

 “She probably still does.” James came to stand in front of Sirius to stop them, head leaning in close. He clearly wanted to reassure him but was drowned out by the sound of a phone buzzing in Sirius’s pocket. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but Regulus will come around. He’s just scared.”

 But Sirius didn’t answer, staring at whatever his phone was showing. “What? What is it?”

  Reg: I’m sorry I wasn’t at the Halloween party.

Reg: Mum and dad are spending the weekend at the house in Scotland, you could come round and stay in your old room.

Reg: Call me when you can.

[curlyhairallday]

Bump and Dumps - Part 4

Hattie wasn’t use to doctors she had developed a fear of the doctors after going to get contraceptives at age fifteen. The doctor had yelled at her basically calling her a slut without saying those words exactly and lecturing her on safe sex and absistence it did not help that the doctor was her best friends at the times mum shortly after that visit her friendship had also ended due to her not being a good role model. After that incident Hattie had healed herself she would wait out illnesses and pray they subsided. So walking into the doctors surgery was terrifying her it did not help that her and Harry were still in a rocky place so the whole situation was making her anxious.

“Cmon love, I’ve signed us in we just need to wait. I found the best doctor around I asked Ben on who they used when they were pregnant.”

She was thankful for his mindless chatter in this moment as it began to reassure her slightly, although she was still pregnant not in a relationship or a proper job. If anyone was judging her it was herself she had mucked up her life plan, she realised that her fears were coming true she would have to send her kid to some snobby school as you can’t send a rockstar kid to a normal school and it would be spoilt her kid was going to be some Malibu brat as Harry spent a lot of time out there what if he took the baby from her. Fuck, what had she done Hattie began to realise she had ruined everthing.

“Hatters, stop!” Harry demanded taking her hand and gently rubbing his thumb in reassurance, he was use to her over thinking although she usually managed to mask it very well Harry always knew.

“I don’t know..” She began to stand ready to leave in her state of panic.

“Harriet Styles.” The doctor called she began to panic more now she thought they were married but that was far from the truth.

“It’s Willams, we aren’t together.” She gestured between her and Harry to further exaggerate the point.

“She likes to play hard to get.” Harry chuckled Hattie shot him a death look.

“So when was your last period?”

“They are irregular, I looked on my app it was around three months ago.”

“Ok, I will do an internal ultrasound today to check everything, we will then take some blood work.”

Hattie removed her trousers and began to feel awkward she hadn’t shaved in a week there had been no need. Now not only was the doctor going to be down there Harry was also likely to see. This pregnancy had ramped up her anxiety she felt so judged constantly.

“Just lie down this may feel a bit odd.”

Harry sat at her head and reached for her hand, he also felt very nervous he wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to be excited or not as Hattie seemed so on edge.

They both looked at each other as they heard the heartbeat throughout the room. Hattie’s eye watered she felt love go over her, there was her little baby.

“I guess you both know that is the heartbeat and if you look here you see the small bean that is your baby, youre around eight weeks along.”

“Hello Spud, you’re gorgeous.” Harry muttered he kissed Hattie forehead, she didn’t know it but she had completed him with this baby.

“Wow.” Hattie muttered she looked at Harry and was glad that even though she may not have spud’s dad she would never let spud go.

The doctor discussed appointments and symptoms she may experience she prescribed her some tablets for her sickness. She also discussed the risk due to Hattie father having diabetes she was at risk to experiencing it during her pregnancy so meant she had to watch her diet more than usual.

“Do you want to get some food now? We can discuss everything. I know a good chinese place.”

“Can we just go Tesco’s then home, all Spud can stomach is soup.”

Once they arrived at Tesco, Hattie got out knowing the drill Harry tried to limit their appearances in public together to stop the media blowing up. As she got out she hoped he would prove her wrong and follow her but all he did was request her to grab him some chicken breasts and hummus for dinner.

She walked round Tesco and realised that this would be the baby’s life either it would be thrust into the spotlight or he would distance himself from spud.

“Harriet?”

“Aj, oh my gosh. I haven’t seen you since graduation.”

They quickly caught up on their new jobs and how they were. Aj was a very attractive solicitor who had gone into working for his dad company right out of law school. He and Hattie had one fun night during freshers the first year of uni after that they had stayed friends but had never explored it further. Harry hated Aj existence along with everyone who Hattie had been with before him. He had met Aj once when he had joined Hattie on the night out and all he did was taunt Harry with cheeky remarks about her moves in the bedroom. Where as, Hattie knew it was Aj he was sweet and funny and always knew what he wanted, unlike Harry.

“I am in a real rush sorry, but why don’t you meet me on Thursday at Ricardo’s around 7pm. I will text you.”

“Ok sounds fun.”

Hattie hadn’t been on a date in a while and seeing as her and Harry were just co-parents, it would be fun. Although, she would probably not be able to stomache any of the food at Ricardo’s  but she needed to begin living.

“What took you so long?”

“I ran into Aj.”

“Wait Aj like against the sink Aj.”

“Yes Harry, why do you call him that. Do you want to refer to me as Mums garage Hattie.”

Harry smirked as he thought back to his birthday last year, he had wanted a quiet time with family and of course Hattie. They had gone to the garage to look for some baby pictures for a documentary about his second album and Hattie had dropped something on her foot after Harry rushing to her aid. Afterwards, she had kissed him which led him to pushing her against the wall and taken her hard and fast. They had both been begging and grunting it was definitely a favourite memory of his.

“Or Camille the sofa.”

Hattie had soured his memory  of them and instead he flooded with guilt, Hattie had gone away for a week with friends although she had left early due to an emergency at work and she was an intern at the time so had to rush back if she wanted any chance of a job at the end. Harry had hated the look when she caught camille and him going at it on the sofa.

“So what did he want anyway?”

“Just to catch up, we are going to Ricardo’s this week.”

“Wait you’re going on a date.”

“No Harry I am seeing a friend.”

“No you’re not.”

“Harry you are away I can do what I want we are friends that’s it.”

Harry pulled over and stopped the engine of the car Hattie looked at him shooked unsure of what was happening.

“I love you for fuck sake Hattie, this isn’t going away. I loved you for ages Hattie but i didn’t want to ruin your life the one with the husband that makes you dinner and the children and the dog. The couple that is always around. I can’t be around all the time I don’t want you to be alone and sad. But I do not care anymore I want you and as selfish as this sounds that’s my baby and if anyone gets to date you pregnant it will be me. I have plans I didn’t want to do this now fuck.”

“Don’t propose.” Hattie panicked looking at him begging him to think.

“I am not. Not yet I will one day but it will be perfect. I have a new house a smaller one with the open kitchen so you can cook and watch spud play. It has five rooms instead of seven. Also has a nice garden its a twenty minute tube ride to work for you. I also want you to be mine. I am sorry I made you ever doubt the fact you were. What do you say?”