#my birthday is about to hit in a week too! im gonna be 28!!

[benevolentscars]

Ive got a job working in a humane society with both helping with kennel work and as a vet assistant there and im sososooso happy!! After 3 weeks applying to places, interviewing to multiple, and also touring and applying to double digits of apartments, ive got both an apt and a job for march!

my goals right now are directly towards being a veterinarian and going into college for it next year after saving, but I also get to take my dog under my care again and Im BEYOND excited to be with katara (pubbyy) again!!

[babyyweebbitch]

Please stay with me — Remake

Soo I reread the one I did before and I wanted to remake it because it wasn’t as good (heres the first one) I hope I can make this one better ���😭 Also, grab tissues. I made this TOO sad

TW // death ; blood ; funeral ; severe depression & relapse

summary: Chris Redfield and his wife were on a mission a seven months after Piers’ death. His wife has been Captain of their team ever since that day.

Seven months ago Piers Nivans died in order to save Chris’ life and for the BSAA. Chris was still fucked up after that day and he thinks about it almost every day. He took a break from the BSAA since his wife made him. It wasn’t a very long one though, he missed being at work, he missed his coworkers and he missed her

Chris resigned as Captain and let his wife replace him. It was a very emotional day not not only for her and Chris but for the entire BSAA because they’ve never had a woman as Captain before. She was a good captain probably even better than Chris. Despite her height, weight and basically being the youngest on that team at 28. She was undoubtedly the best captain in years

Her team along with Chris were on a mission. Their mission was to take out the enemy, find three hostages and disable the bombs set in the building “Okay men… we’re gonna be splitting into three teams since there’s a lot of us here. Team A; Corey, John and Andrew. Your job is to find out where the bombs are and disable them as quickly as possible.”

“Yes ma’am!” The three went off to do their job as told

“Team B; Phil, Jean and Mark, you’re in charge of finding and getting the hostages to safety out of this building. You three can split up, stay together I don’t care. As long as your job is done”

“Ma’am” the three left

She turned to Eric and Chris who were standing together “what a coincidence, you two are with me.” She said with a slight smile on her face, walking ahead of the two Eric leaned over to Chris “She’s so cool…” Chris thought of Finn the moment he said that, he couldn’t help but to smile and look at him “I know…”

“Stop standing around we have a mission you know!” She yelled out to the two of them. Chris and Eric quickly made their way to the door the enemies were behind, Chris was silent the entire time before he was quickly checked back into reality with a pat on the shoulder “you okay? We need you fully here for this” his wife said as he looked down at her and nodded “yeah I’m okay…”

Chris, his wife and Eric all prepared as the door was blown open and guns were firing. The three did take cover just in time. After about five minutes of gun fire and fighting it finally stopped, thinking they had all the enemies taken care of they all stood up “good job! We did it — Chris!” Y/N called out as she did catch a glimpse of an enemy that didn’t die somehow standing up and pointing their gun towards Chris.

She quickly ran towards Chris and pushed him out the way, for Chris it’s almost like everything was happening in slow motion. He had to process everything leading up to that moment. He heard a scream of pain when his head finally cleared, looking up to see his wife shot in the sternum and Eric shooting the enemy down

She started to fall and Chris caught her before she hit the floor, his eyes started filling up with tears as he looked at her “baby please… tell me this is a joke!”

She knew she was dying, her body felt so cold from the inside out she, she coughed before reaching into one of her many pokes on her pants “c…Chris… do me a favour okay? Please…. stay safe” she handed him her wedding ring, she never wore it during missions to avoid it getting broken, rusted or something. So she held it in her pocket where it was safe “I… feel so… cold”

Chris looked at the ring then at her “no don’t say that! You’re gonna be fine! You’re gonna be fine! Please stay with me!” He started crying, Eric stood by as Team B; Phil, Jean and Mark came in. They surprisingly finished the bomb quicker than expected “Captain w—“ Mark was starting to talk but he quickly stopped when he realised what was happening

“Guys… take care of him for me…” she struggled to talk. She looked up at Chris to see him crying, she lifted her Hand up to his cheek to wipe his tears one last time “no no… don’t cry hon… I’ll tell my parents you said hi… I love you..” Chris held onto her hand and his heart practically stopped the moment he felt her hand and body go heavy and her head fall back … she was dead now

“No…. Please come back! Please don’t go! Y/N!!!” He held her body close and just sobbed, Eric and team B were tearing up and trying to wipe their tears

It took a while to get Chris to let go of her body and let them put her on a stretcher and on the truck so they can go back. When they finally did everyone on the team was there. It took three guys to pry him off of her This was the first time they’ve ever seen him cry like this

—————————

It’s been almost a month since she’s died, Chris looked horrible. He hasn’t shaved, left the house, he started drinking again and Claire had to clean him up at night since he wasn’t sober enough to even do it himself. The house looked like shit especially the room Chris and his wife shared

It was the day of the funeral and Chris was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the picture of him and her on their wedding day back in 2007. He somehow managed to even get up that day and not drink. He showered that morning, got dressed in a suit and did his hair. He still didn’t shave though

Claire came in “Chris? You ready?” She asked. She had on a black dress on “I guess so…” Chris responded. He stood up and placed the picture down on the night stand and grabbed the necklace he had with his wife’s ring on it.

Claire fixed his tie and jacket before they left. Chris was always taking care of her when she was younger so now it was time for her to take care of her older brother “good. Let’s go” Claire let him walk in front of her to the car. She drove because one he couldn’t think straight enough to drive and he was completely hung over from drinking too much

After about a 45 minute drive they arrived to where her funeral was being held at. Everyone they knew was there, Leon, their BSAA team, Her family. It was hard for him to see her brother and sister at their older sisters funeral

The ceremony, the viewing and speeches all happened and Chris barely even got through his speech without crying

(Im so so so sorry for this next part)

Chris’ speech: “Y/N was an amazing person, she always took care of everyone, me, her siblings, our team, Claire… everyone. She put everyone before herself no matter who they were. She joined the BSAA not because of herself because of her parents death in Raccoon City. She promised them she would do something in any way to stop what happened in Raccoon from ever happening again. She treated our team like her family and even the rookies as her kids even if they were a few years younger then her. She was an even amazing person and wife. And I miss her dearly.”

There wasn’t a single dry eye in that room when Chris said his speech. After everything, everyone went inside to eat and talk.

Chris sat with Claire and Y/N’s siblings. He just picked at his food and stared at the plate. He was terrifyingly silent before Leon came over “hey Chris… how are you holding up?” Leon asked as he stared at Chris. He could tell how hard this has affected Chris. “I’m fine…”

“Chris… You need to eat. All you’ve done in the past month was drink, workout and cry… You need to at least eat something” Claire said “she wouldn’t want this… Her or Piers wouldn’t want you to be like this. Y/N would be yelling at you if she saw you picking at your food like this. We both know she would”

Chris’ eyes started to water once again before he spoke “I…. I know.. but I just miss her so much, Claire… we were gonna start a family together… she wanted to have kids and get a bigger house so we can have a big family… now I can’t have one because she’s the only person I wanted a family with…” Chris sighed softly as he wiped his eyes

“I miss her too… we all do…” Leon commented looking down at his plate. Chris eventually ended up eating his food and everyone left to go home. The entire drive home was deafening to the point you can hear a pin drop

When he got home he changed inside a fresh pair of clothes and he started to clean the house, starting with the bedroom and ending in the Kitchen. He cleaned it exactly how she’d like it and when he was finished around 3:32 am he sat on the couch and sighed

They were right… She would yell at him if she saw the way he was, how the house was when she died

—————————

After a few years pass it’s before the entire Village situation. Every week since the funeral Chris visited her grave and just talked to her for a bit. On her birthday he spent almost half the day there, on new year’s he watched the fireworks by your gave.

He still hasn’t moved on since her death he can’t even get into another relationship with a woman since her death but it’s not like he can find anyone else like her… and honestly he didn’t want to.

IM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR MAKING THIS EVEN SADDER tbh tho I started tearing up writing this

[goldenxsunshine]

50 questions you’ve never been asked

I was tagged by the lovely @softboylwt​, thank you darling ✨

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? edit: so I realized I didn’t read that correctly the first time around, but I don’t usually brush my hair, tho I do have one that’s brown

2. a food you never eat? it’s not really a food but i never eat plain butter, like in cakes and all that, when it’s cooked, alright, but on bread, in sandwiches or anything else it just grosses me out to no avail!! I can’t even touch it!! Also any sea food is a no-go for me, i just can’t!!

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? i think it can depend, but in general i tend to get cold very easily

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? i was catching up on niall and liam’s live and feeling very emotional about it

5. what is your favourite candy bar? here we call it kinder tranche au lait, which literally translates to kinder milky slice but idk if that’s what it’s called!! Anyways, it’s the kinder that you have to keep in the fridge with the creamy white thing in the middle, i just love it!!

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? Nope never, i don’t really care much for any sports tbh afdhkj

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? “good night” to my little sister about five seconds ago

8. what is your favourite ice cream? salted caramel!!!!!! it’s my LIFE

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. do you like your wallet? I do actually!! I had another pink one that was too big but i received a small dark blue one for my birthday that’s just perfect

11. what was the last thing you ate? something very very VERY good!! it was a polish recipe: tomato soup with some homemade kluski (some sort of pasta i guess you could say) and basil

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope

13. the last sporting event you watched? as i said before i really don’t care much for any sports so i think the answer is none, if i did watch one well it was so long ago that i forgot afskdly

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? sweet popcorn OR those with some chocolate you can buy, both are equally good

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? well technically the last message i sent was on here to, but if we mean irl texting then an old friend of mine

16. ever go camping? nope not really, i went a couple times when i was younger with some friends but not anymore

17. do you take vitamins? nooe i don’t, but i should

18. do you go to church every sunday? nope

19. do you have a tan? as of right now, only the beginning of one on my back

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? oof tough one, but im gonna have to go with pizza!! I actually had some today

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? nope not anymore

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? small white ones, sometimes black

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? wellll since i still haven’t got my driver’s licence i can assure you that i’ve never once driven above the speed limit in my life 😌

24. what terrifies you? loneliness

25. look to your left, what do you see? i can see my bedroom door as well as my cupboard and the front door a bit further

26. what chore do you hate? washing the toilets

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?  i have no idea tbh ajdsfkds 5sos maybe

28. what’s your favourite soda? i actually don’t really drink any sodas, but if i had to get one i’d say sprite or lemon iced tea

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? i don’t think we have any drive-through here, or if there are i’ve never been, so i’m gonna say fast food place

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my little sister

31. favourite cut of beef? i have no fucking clue, i only eat beef when i eat burgers so that one i guess jsdkajl

32. last song you listened to? some song off a random sport playlist i listend to when i was working out earlier, it’s called hometown apparently

33. last book you read? if we’re talking last book i read through but haven’t actually finished yet, it’s une bête au paradis (a beast in paradise)

34. favourite day of the week? i don’t really have one tbh, i just know it’s not monday nor sunday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? yes i can actually ajkdjfld, well i need to say it thorugh once in order (mentally is enough) but yeah i can

36. how do you like your coffee? i absolutely despise coffee, in any form

37. favourite pair of shoes? a pair of shoes that i found in italy a few years ago, but i just can’t describe them asjdhfk they have too many things idk how to say in english

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? i’d say usually it’s around 11pm or midnight, but lately it’s been more like 1 or 2 am

39. at what time do you normally get up? again usually would depend on my classes, but lately it’s between 8 am and 10 am

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? i literally cannot choose one!! boht can be so magical, but maybe i’ll go with sunset cause i’m almost never up for sunrise ajdfkjl

41. how many blankets are on your bed? only one

42. describe your kitchen plates? i still live wiht my parents so they’re just plain white, but modern-ish 

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i don’t really have one, but the only alcohol i can enjoy drinking is vodka so anything with that i guess

44. do you play cards? ugh way too much, or well not anymore, but when i was in high school it was literally all my friends’ favourite thing to do and tbh i just don’t really like them

45. what colour is your car? again i don’t have a driving’s licence adjfhk

46. can you change a tire? there are too many questions concerning driving in this jadshkj, nope or well never tried, who knows maybe i have a secret talent

47. what is your favourite state/province? i haven’t been in the US, or well i went when i was much younger so i don’t remember!! But i’ll pick a country and say tulum, Mexico!! i went there once a few years ago and it was just magical

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? i haven’t had a lot of experience in real jobs i guess, but one of my favourite closest to a job thing was the internship i started right before this whole mess in something called psychopédagogie (i haven’t got a clue what it might be in english im sorry)

49. how did you get your biggest scar? i don’t have many scars and the few i have are pretty small, but i guess the “biggest” would be on my foot, i was at a friend’s for the summer and we were going around in quads, then there was a little slope and my dumbass panicked and pushed the accelerator instead of the brake and well....we bumped into a littel tree and yeah adfjhkjs

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? i haven’t done much today i don’t think, but maybe helping to make dinner ? idk

I apologize in advance if you’ve already done this, but i’m tagging: @essercipertuttienonperse, @rosegoldeyelids, @ltpolari, @watermelonsugarhii, @bigsparrowharry, @herefortommo, @arouiis, @farmjpg and @strawberryhabit

[fishmech]

DaNcInG-iN-yOuR-dUsT.nEt

.x.Welcome.x.

Welcome

to Dancing-in-Your-Dust.net. The name comes from the AFI song Paper Airplanes (makeshift wings). This is just a place to express my thoughts and ideas, if you don't like it..simply leave. If you do however, stick around and enjoy =D

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Lizzy. Arizona. sXe. Vegetarian. Sarcastic. AFI. Tiger Army. Nekromantix. <3 <3 Davey Havok. Make-Up. Music. Movies. <3 Johnny Depp. HUGE Dork. Despair Faction. TNBC. Lock, Shock & Barrel. Jack Skellington. Halloween.

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This is the 9th layout for DIYD. It features the Movie Sleepy Hollow ! =). The pictures are from

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<3 Sadey

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08-11-03: My B-Day 09-09-03: Jeanelle's B-Day 09-10-03: Work @ Merch Booth 4 the Starting Line 09-20-03: EdgeFest 03' 09-24-03: Seeing AFI/Hot Water Music/Bleeding Through in Fresno 09-26-03: Seeing AFI/Hot Water Music/Bleeding Through in Las Vegas 09-27-03: Seeing AFI/Hot Water Music/Bleeding Through in Utah 10-13-03: Kevin <3 <3 & Ashley's Birthday 10-14-03: Nightfall 10-30-03: Seeing AFI/Hot Water Music/Bleeding Through in Universal CA for Halloween Eve show 10-31-03: Halloween AFI'S Halloween Show??

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.x.At the Moment.x. Date:October 1, 2003 Mood: Tired Eating: Nothing Drinking: nothin Watching: nothin Hearing: Transplants Wearing: Night of the living dead Shirt and duck pj's Thinking: AFI IS ONLY 28 DAYS AWAY!!!!!!! Talking to:  nobody Drooling over: Davey Havok Wanting: The 30th to get here! Surfing: Nothing .x.Tagboard.x.                                      Name:               URL:              Message:                      

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October 6, 2003

Hello all..thought I'd write in here since I have pretty much nothing else to do. I've been up to pretty much nothing. Sadey and I went to the mall and bought our AFI limited edition Art & Artisha dolls..which cost an arm and a leg. We also talked to kevin..just him tho cuz Bobby-o wasn't there today. It was hilarious because when we were leaving I go to hug kevin and I accidentally hit his nose...he's all like "oh great she's trying to beat me up too!" good times man, good times. Anyway in other good news, Sadey's mom is thinking about opening a store sorta like Hot Topic @ the mall..and it's gonna be hella rad cuz well, I can work there =D We'd carry much more cooler things than Hot Topic..I mean I like that store at times but, they never really carry anything that cool now. Speaking of HT im gonna start working there prolly in mid november. Im putting my 2 weeks @ Target in tommorow. Anyhoo while I was at HT I saw this rad velvet black dress with like flared sleeves and I want it for the show in Universal but I checked the price and its like 90 bucks so I was like hell no..so Im gonna have my mom make one for me and im adding shit on it like red laced trim...its gonna be so super awesome =D Im trying to think of what else that has happened..Oh I was sick this weekened and I called in for work and Nickey (the LOD) got all pissed and told me im not taking my job seriously anymore and all this other BS and she hung up on me...so she basically called me a liar....and im telling you, I was really sick! So I woke up the next morning and it was already like 11:00am and my shift was supposed to start at 9 and I was like shit...they're gonna fire me. So I called Nickey and she apologized for hanging up on me and that she doesnt wanna lose me as an employee and that she values me and shit..I was just like yea, well you're in for a rude awakening cuz im quitting haha..no I didn't say that but I was thinking it..so she told me to just take the day off. I was like cool ok. So I guess thats all that really happened...I went to this wedding party thing on Saturday night w/ sadey a whole bunch of Italians from brooklyn...awesome as hell im in love with their accents..lol. There was this annoying kid there that was trying to impress Sadey and I by acting all drunk and telling us how much he had to drink when in all reality he wasn't really drunk he was just pretending because all his mom would let him have was one drink..little does he know we're sXe..haha loser. Alright anyhoo I guess thats all for site news.. my wonderful katie (rapturous voice davey fansite) is leaving me ::cries:: she bought a domain,

davey-havok.net

Ill miss you much Katie =D Go visit her now BTW. But the good news is that I got a new hostee,

Barbara

. She's gonna open the fanlisting for AFI's

Morningstar

which I am very happy about..it's about damn time someone decides to make a fanlisting for that song cuz it is such a beautiful song =D Alright so..enough of my rambling im out, later =D --Lizzy--[Deadjournal] | [Plug]

(8) are dancing in the dust

October 1, 2003

[EDIT]

Ok Im taking my blog down because it was wayyy too long and for some reason my ftp is not letting me write anything else on to my notepad sorry kids..if ya wanna know what happened just drop me a line on AIM @ dancinginurdust or email me at lizzy@dancing-in-your-dust.net and ill be sure to tell you everything...you can still click the pics and look at those if you like =D

[/EDIT] Happy October..new layout in spirit of Halloween..ill have loads more halloween ones than this..being as this is my fave holiday =D

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17, 18,21,  22,  23,  24,  25 click here for autographs =D --Lizzy--[

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(7) are dancing in the dust

[hualicn]

50 questions tag

okay this was pretty fun!! i was tagged by @gunsatthaphan thanks for tagging me!! i didnt proofread these so good luck lol

1.      what color is your hairbrush?: so my hair is too short to really brush but before I shaved it all off I used a blue hairbrush lol

2.      name a food you never eat: I honestly will eat anything?? Sometimes ill pick out tomatos and not eat those I guess

3.      are you typically too warm or too cold?: I am sweaty 24/7

4.      what were you doing 45 minutes ago?: baking a cake for my friends birthday J 

5.      what’s your favorite candy bar?: I feel like I always choose a different candy bar, last I had was twix 

6.      have you ever been to a professional sports game?: yeah ive sat on the field during an la galaxy game once

7.      what’s the last thing you said out loud?: “by the way theres donuts inside”

8.      what’s your favorite ice cream?: hmm I like mostly any Tillamook brand ice cream rn all im thinking is the marionberry pie one 

9.      what was the last thing you had to drink?: kamboucha it was strawberry coconut flavor

10.    do you like your wallet?: this one is so random haha I mean yeah it’s a simple brown wallet

11.    what’s the last thing you ate?: a donut

12.    did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: just got some shorts from goodwill actually

13.    what’s the last sporting event you watched?: probably the superbowl?? Televised ofc

14.    what is you favorite flavor of popcorn?: kettle corn slaps

15.    who’s the last person you sent a text to?: strictly text and not like snapchat messenger was my sister (about getting donuts)

16.    ever go camping?: god yes I used to all the time and im finally going again soon!! 

17.    do you take vitamins?: vitamin T ;)

18.    do you go to church every sunday?: no I don’t practice religion 

19.    do you have a tan?: actually yeah I tan very easy and live in the desert, my friends look very pale compared to me lol

20.    do you prefer chinese or pizza?: 100% Chinese  

21.    do you drink soda through a straw?: ok listen I don’t drink soda unless its at a restaurant and they always give you straws so yeah almost every time which is wild

22.    what color socks do you usually wear?: black ones for work and then I have a bunch of random neon colors too

23.    do you ever drive above the speed limit?: not as bad as I used to

24.    what terrifies you?: the future

25.    look to your left, what do you see?: my water bottle

26.    what chore do you hate the most?: cleaning my pets cages fo sho

27.    what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?: my coworker who does a really good Australian accent

28.    what’s your favorite soda?: …la croix 

29.    do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru?: drive thru always

30.    what’s your favorite number?: ?? idk maybe like 72 idk why

31.    who’s the last person you talked to?: my parents

32.    favorite cut of beef?: tbh don’t eat a whole lot of beef

33.    last song you listened to?: listening to motion sickness by phoebe bridges rn actually

34.    last book you read?: currently re reading its kind of a funny story by ned vizzini 

35.    can you say the alphabet backwards?: maybe if I go super slow haha

36.    favorite day of the week?: hmm maybe tuesdays

37.    how do you like your coffee?: over ice and just a lil bit of sweetener, always very bitter 

38.    favorite pair of shoes?: probably my spiderman vans cuz good mems

39.    time you normally get up?: like 3 am for work and 6/7 am off work

40.    sunrise or sunsets?: sunsrise

41.    how many blankets on your bed?: honestly like for but I only use one at a time

42.    describe your kitchen plates?: paper lol

43.    describe your kitchen at the moment?: cake and donuts on the counter lol 

44.    do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?: vodka cranberries hehe 

45.    do you play cards?: yes all the time!! Its what we do whenever my family gets together

46.    what color is your car?: its like a dark grey and its brand new (to me) and I am in love with him

47.    can you change a tire?: ..maybe if I used youtube… tbh I actually helped my uncle change a tractor tire but they r like bike tires not car tires

48.    your favorite state/province/county/etc.?: that ive been to?? Probably oregon

49.    favorite job you’ve had?: working at a Halloween store was really fun but I also really love my job as a barista rn 

50.    how did you get your biggest scar?: honestly I don’t really have any?? The only on e I can think of I cant really see anymore but the story is we used to have this giant revolving table that was hocky table on one side and pool table the other. Anyways a friend and I decided to spin it super fast and somehow I got my hand stuck in it and uhhh yeh yikes that wasn’t fun haha

im gonna tag... @lovetines cuz she told me to and any of my mutuals who see it do it and tag me love ya mwah

[chasing-rabbits]

Update:

Been very bad mentally as of late, what’s new. I’ve been getting a lot of intrusive thoughts about the past which is never fun. I also cried a little over my Grandma. She died last year in June from cancer and it’s just it still hits me that she’s really gone and I miss her. The place next to me they’ve converted the BnB into a wellness centre well its being rented out and it turns out my ex therapist is now private practice and she’s doing a course there with another woman its a trauma based yoga course its not normal yoga the yoga woman is trained specifically to teach some special yoga for trauma its done differently and is disabled friendly and I can’t remember exactly everything that was mentioned but basically it’s a trauma focused workshop/course. Tomorrow we’re gonna go up and visit it and meet the people running the course although I already know one of them since she used to be the head therapist at my CMHT/Psych unit. I wondered what she’d done when she left I assumed she was working in another NHS role as a therapist somewhere. I’m kinda anxious about it all tbh but I’m hoping it will help. Earlier this week an incident with my dad caused some issues I guess I should say it triggered me into an emotional state that was less than great. It’s also around this time of year that I was strangled last year by my brother which I guess has been on my mind lately because I’ve had some breakdowns and its led to me talking about it during the breakdown. I’m not always consciously aware of the exact or ‘real’ reason Im upset sometimes until like mid breakdown and then suddenly everything spills out. It’s my birthday sunday, can you believe I’ll be 28 and here I was never thinking I’d make it past 25. I never planned to live this long so I’m lost. I never thought I’d have a future, I didn’t plan one I wasn’t expecting one. It’s surreal that Sunday I’ll have lived 3 years longer than I ever thought I’d make it. It feels like I’m just living on borrowed time that suddenly it’s gonna come crashing down and it’ll all end because I shouldn’t have lived this long I wasn’t meant to, I never thought it was possible not even a little bit. I’m just depressed and I don’t even know what kind of future I have to look forward too. I’m inching closer to 30 at which point I have to consider kids before it gets too late especially with family history. I don’t feel ready for that I’m not sure I want to bring a child into this world with my conditions and the possibility they could inherit them - all of my female cousins they both had bpd diagnoses as well my family has a host of mental illness and addiction and physical health issues that could be passed on, but also what kind of mother would I be if I can’t get this under control. Also how do I live happily when my past does affect my present. I have behaviours that I can’t erase, memories that haunt me because of my childhood how do I not let it affect my present. How do I move on and even if I could I’m still left with these mental illnesses to battle every single day for the rest of my life. I’ve already had so many bad experiences how much more should I be willing to go through for the good moments in my life. Like idk if I’ll ever get to a point where most days won’t be a struggle and if they are going to be a struggle then you have to wonder what’s the value in living if everyday you’re left wanting to die? Or depressed and crying or being haunted by flashbacks and trauma. What’s the value in a life like that? Is it worth it?

[wovenstarlight]

85 truths

tagged by @alotofpoisonbutalittlebitofsugar​

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people. (as much as you want)

im gonna tag uhhhhhh @toasttedbaguels​, @lisawilbourn​, and @evelynstarborn​!

last

1. drink: cereal milk 2. phone call: my mom lmao 3. text message: “also high five [my cousins] for me” 4. song you listened to: down by marian hill 5. time you cried: uhhh sometime last year i think?

ever

6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: hmmm i wouldn’t say so? 10. been depressed: Oh Boy 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i havent touched a drink in my life

fave colours (i can’t pick only three sorry sdjflsks)

12. purple/pink/blue!!! 13. gold/silver/bronze 14. black/white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: ya!!! i love them 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: sometimes jsdlkjsflksd 18. found out someone was talking about you: im a dumbass and have a shit memory so i don’t THINK so but im not sure 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your true friends are: yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no (facebook whomst?)

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: don’t have any facebook friends 23. do you have any pets: no but i really want cats 24. do you want to change your name: not rlly! 25. what did you do for your last birthday: ....what DID i do 26. what time did you wake up today: like 1pm sdjflskvsdl 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: working on an assignment for my literature class 28. what is something you cant wait for: to meet my friends irl 29. fave band: i have no idea but rn it’s probably fall out boy (hit me with that M A N I A) 30. what’re you listening to right now: was listening to down (marian hill) but im opening stay frosty royal milk tea as we speak 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope 32. something that’s getting on your nerves: why do i have so much fucken work to do lmao 33. most visited website: tumblr probably. ao3/discord/google docs come close 34. hair colour: black 35. long or short hair: longish 36. do you have a crush on someone: uwu 37. what do you like about yourself: i can’t sing as well as some people but i really like my singing voice 38. want any piercings?: oo difficult.... maybe more ear piercings but i dunno 39. blood type: when i first saw my blood type i was so proud and told my mom ‘look i got an A+ in this too’ 40. nicknames: dev 41. relationship status: Oh You Know 42. zodiac: virgo 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv shows: uhhhh does anime count? bn.ha, haik.yuu, voltron 45. tattoos: none but i want to get some at some point 46. right or left handed: right but im working on that 47. ever had surgery: no i don’t think so 48. piercings: ear piercings 49. sport: sleeping 50. vacation: idk i prefer staying at home but ill go wherever 51. trainers: the what??? sorry?

more general

52. eating: oh that’s a difficult one 53. drinking: water or chocolate milk but that’s it 54.I’m about to watch: newest season of voltron 55. waiting for: bn.ha/hq manga to update 56. want: for this weekend to not end i have stuff to do next week but i dont wanna 57. get married: maybe 58. career: artist or something in compsci

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: you think i’m a coward? both obviously 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: taller 62. older or younger: .... 63. nice arms or stomach: both bitch 64. hookup or relationship: relationship def. 65. troublemaker or hesitant: somewhere in the middle thanks

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: no 68. lost glasses: no 69. turned someone down: no 70. sex on first date: no??? 71. broken someone’s heart: no 72. had your heart broken: no 73. been arrested: no i’m like 5 what is up with these questions 74. cried when someone died: ...no i don’t think so 75. fallen for a friend: Oh You Know

do you believe in

76. yourself: more so recently, yes!! 77. miracles: not really 78. love at first sight: nah 79. santa claus: no 80. kiss on a first date: not unless the date’s been a long time coming 81. angels: got two of em as my closest friends of course i do (honestly tho. not really?)

other

82. best friend’s name: rhian, amy 83. eye colour: dark brown 84. fave movie: black panther/wonder woman 85. fave actor: all of the folks in black panther probably

[gayhags]

bruna tagged me and i gotta do it cus her life is on the line if i dont so like i guess ill tag some of u if ya wanna do it 

(it’s supposed to be 20 but like i dont know 20 of yall so like ill tag @evelynebrochu @delphines @odetteannable @gaytiemcgrath mm yeh

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - almond milk latte

2. phone call - i ignore all phone calls

3. text message - my best friend 

4. song you listened to - monotonia // the growlers

5. time you cried - mmm like a month ago

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it - not really

8. been cheated on - not that i know of so like no

9. lost someone special - in a way i guess

10. been depressed - mmm yeh

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yeah thas why i cant stand tequila

fave colours

12. light pink

13. black

14. white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yep

16. fallen out of love - no ive never been in love so like lmao

17. laughed until you cried - yeh

18. found out someone was talking about you - mmm yeh

19. met someone who changed you - no not really

20. found out who your friends are - this is some tea but yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no facebook is for pussies

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - everyone except kate and soph ://

23. do you have any pets - no i fuckin wish bich i want a dog

24. do you want to change your name -  in a way i guess...like i dont really think my name fits me like idk my name makes me uncomfortable but like im used to it now 

25. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing bc houston thas when hurricane harvey hit and like everything was closed down for like a week so happy 20th to me thas mother nature saying fuck u bich 

26. what time did you wake up today - 7:40 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - idk...i was probably crying bc of sendrick 

28. what is something you cant wait for - for me to be rich and sex see

30. what are you listening to right now - the growlers listen to them theyre sexy 

31. have you ever talk to a person named tom - no all toms are creeps

32. something thats getting on your nerves -  a lot of things like life and being alive in general 

33. most visited website - tumblr

34. hair colour - light brown

35. long or short hair - long

36. do you have a crush on someone - i havent had a crush on someone since last summer thank fuck 

37. what do you like about yourself - sometimes i like her sometimes i hate her it depends on the energy that day but like shes pretty funny i guess like i make myself laugh 

38. want any piercings? - yeah my cartilage

39. blood type - in case im like dying my blood is O- im that universal donor ass bitch 

40. nicknames - my friends call me bitch or b or henny

41. relationship status - single lmao

42. zodiac - virgo

43. pronouns - she/dat/bich

44. fave tv shows - the office, parks and rec and ob

45. tattoos - no  but like i might get one soon idk of what yet 

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - yah

49. sport - no lmao i was tha lazy bich in high school i only started to get into like fitness and shit my senior year of high school 

50. vacation - i wanna go to england

51. trainers - what does this mean idgi

more general

52. eating - i just ate some chickpea pasta w/ tofu

53. drinking - my 3rd coffee of the day 

54. im about to watch - my life crash and burn bc i have nothing figured out and i feel like wasting my time lmao 

55. waiting for - my lana concert feb 10th and then i can die 

56. want - this moneyyyy

57. get married - no 

58. career - i dont know!!! im a junior in college i should kno but i dont im gonna have a breakdwon 

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - eyes 

61. shorter or taller - im a short as bich so taller 

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - stomach bich i want this stomach to be flat like where are u bich im so tired

64. hookup or relationship - hookup cus like people are annoying after a while like leave me alone

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant is boring but like troublemaker is too much work so like neither

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no id never im a pussy

67. drank hard liquor - yes 

68. lost glasses - i dont need glasses but ive left my best friends shades in an uber once bc he left us in the middle of the road at a festival and we had to run out the car cus it was illegal to stop there so like we ran out and i feel so bad bc they were expensive

69. turned someone down - yes lmao

70. sex on first date - no 

71. broken someones heart - i think...

72. had your heart broken - yeah

73. been arrested -  no oh myg od i always have nightmares in which im arrested like i just want a mugshot but no 

74. cried when someone died - ok but liek who hasnt

75. fallen for a friend - mmm lmao

do you believe in

76. yourself - yes i have to push myself tho like its just me and myself fighting all the time but yeah ultimately i do 

77. miracles - yes like i really do after like me n my best friend almost got caught smoking we*ed in her house and like her mom came home early from a trip and like i really thought we were gonna die that day but im smart and lit a candle so like idk how she didnt smell it but like after that day i believe in miracles i do 

78. love at first sight - yeah but like only in fiction like irl it’s lust at first sight 

79. santa clause - yes i love her 

80. kiss on a first date - yeh if im into it 

81. angels - by the xx, gr8 song

other

82. best friend’s name - she dont have a tumblr 

83. eye colour - dark brown

84. fave movie - silver linings playbook, prisoner of azkaban, and the polar express i said what i said 

85. fave actor - anna kendrick and emma watson and like katie and evelyne 

[fallontheangel]

I’m really doing this to remind myself what not to do

March 24 - 34th entry

I miss you so much. Why would you go out of your way to push this only to push me too far. (In reference to the first time we snapped again today & then me seeing you went to the places you used to hang around with)

April 8 - 35th-36th entry

Happy birthday I love you.

I wanna say that bc I miss u and bc I love you. I thought about you a lot today to use u as an excuse in so many ways. Just reminded me of the truth.

Almost a month and it still hurts just as bad

April 21 - 37th-38th entry

Im just mad for a lot of reasons

U didn’t like me ——— “I broke up w u”

I should be better off — ur doing better

Nobody wants me -everybody still want u

U think we’re friends - I can’t be

//

U talk so much shit and then go back like???? And you want me to see ??? Like ur a worse piece of shit for this. You can’t be my friend if u blatantly act like this and hurt me. Who raised you?

39th entry

Whats going to make me hate you to get over you. The worst part about all of this fuss today is the fact that it’s been a month and a week and this little post on vsco sent me SPIRALING. When can we be normal. When can you notice. when will YOU ever hurt?

40th entry

April 30 - 42nd entry

Precisely what I’m doing thanks to the courtesy of your best friend telling me that you are so not worthy and that I can be bigger beautiful and better. I’m here for life and I’d like to live it. This new drive includes you coming to me if you would like. But I’m establishing now I’m never coming to you. Stooping down. Lowering myself to your below average self again. Never.

May 27 - 43rd-44th entry

Im just gonna say I was feeling low and like drake said “I needa one dance” and that shit lifted my sprits and every since then it’s been a sprinkling of you with a downpour of everything else.

Yesterday I got to yelling inside my head (I wish I could do it at you out loud but we all know why we didn’t do that in the first place) fr tho do you even think I’m the best thing to happen to you? Do you even get that I cried the day after for hours? You could still see it in the beach photos that made u think I was fine. How could you be so naive to tell EVERYONE I WASN’T HURTING. HOW DARE YOU TELL PEOPLE HOW I FELT WHEN YOU COULDNT EVEN TELL ME HOW YOU FELT. HOW DARE YOU ACT THIS WAY

May 30 - 45th entry

My chest was tight because of you

I thought it was past this point

The point of no return

Until she told me about the event

And oh did it burn

I felt my body dive for the cement

But instead my heart lept out

I knew the words were coming

But I didn’t think I’d wanna pout

My cheeks burning heart drumming

I just needed to never know

I hate this world for doing this

It’s never stop always go

It seems like I’m a swing and a miss

And you’re always hitting a home run

This game is exhausting because you win

Will This game ever be fun

Im not a poor sport u just make my head spin

U never deserved me or my cheer

My attitude always bright

Ur winning is my biggest fear

Myself and your actions to fight.

May 28 - 46th entry

. I need this closure and I need it now, I need it from you

Maybe just a rebound would suffice

But that would mean mommy has to be nice

I need to go and run a muck

So I can forgot you with a quick little fuck

June 5th - 47th entry

June 20 - 51st entry

I came in open to being friendsn today and u had to FUCK UP. I’m more hurt by the fact that you have no respect for my space or feelings (but why is this even surprising) you left the party to fuck MY FRIEND who KNEW ABOUT US SO FUCK U BIG TIME

June 29 - 52nd entry

I am not going to lie I really be feelin good lately until I see someone tall n cute n then I just wanna ask if I can put my head against their chest lol fuc after typing that I Feel ewie sorry

July 6 - 53rd-55th entry

At this point I think I’m scarred for life of dating friends. I think the timing ruined everything. These friends associated with the both of us and even though IM being mature about it I just feel like the loyalty aspect is killing me and the whole squad so

Ur fault I’m not going to expect anything anymore

//

I want you to see me thrive but I think u not even being able to see or (actively not like my photos) will send you a better message so check soon xo

//

I wanna have a big family meeting and call you on your bullshit but at this point like will I gain or lose ?? I kinda feel like is it better to speak or die

///

....almost done

[hoseokslegsandjiminsthighs]

92 statements

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people!

(if i tag you, no pressure at all to do this!)

i was tagged by the precious @o0yoongifreckles0o

THE LAST…

1. Drink- Water

2. Phone call- My mum

3. Text- My sister

4. Song you listened to-  Love Me Like You Do - Topp Dogg cover

5. Time you cried- Like a couple weeks ago 

HAVE YOU…

6. Dated someone twice- ya

7. Kissed someone and regretted it- too many times to count

8. Been cheated on- Not that im aware of

9. Lost someone special- yes

10. Been depressed- since i was born

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up- That’s like my weekend plans 

LIST 3 FAV COLORS:

12. Black

13. Dark Green

14. Grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made any new friends- Quite a few, and i love them

16. Fallen out of love- painfully, yes

17. Laughed until you cried- Many times

18. Found out someone was talking about you- Every day

19. Met someone who changed you- I’ve met a few that have 

20. Found our who your friends are- Yeah, lost a lot of people this year tbh

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list- lmao, at least 40% of them

GENERAL

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life- most of them

23. Any pets- 3 cats and a doggo

24. Do you want to change your name- yes, i do not suit Jessica, like ????

25. What did you do for your last birthday- literally nothing because my partner at the time didn’t let me lmao

26. What time did you wake up- uhh, 8am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night- ;) ;) ;)

28. Name something you cannot wait for- get my certificate for my automotive course

29. When was the last time you saw your mom- like, 20 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- nothing, i mean, i hate it, but somehow it’s worth it

31. What are you listening to right now- Darling - Taeyang

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom- yup, hooked up with one too

33. Something that is getting on your nerves- people trying to do things for me

34. Most visited website- pornhub

35. Moles- i have beauty spots, but not actual moles

36. Marks- like 0

37. Childhood dream- fashion designer, or be a dinosaur trainer (i was geniuenly upset when i found out they weren’t real)

38. Hair color- Just coloured it back to black the other day

39. Long or short hair- i have a long mohawk

40. Do you have a crush on someone- I do, and he’s 2 years younger than me and it feels weird but he makes me feel so good

41. What do you like about yourself- my legs, my tattoos, my hair, my eyes

42. Piercings- None currently, have had 7 though

43. Blood type- Q, for queen

44. Nickname- Princess

45. Single- ya

46. Zodiac- Aquarius

47. Pronouns- homie/bruh

48. Favorite tv show- Bates Motel atm, it’s so good, i advise everyone to check it out

49. Tattoos- I have 9, but going in soon to get my back piece done

50. Right or left handed- righty

51. Surgery- yup

52. Piercings- 0

53. Sport- i watch rugby if that counts

54. Vacation- South Korea, South Africa, Spain

55. Pair of trainers- i wear heels or steel caps b

MORE GENERAL

56. Eating- kinda want noodles

57. Drinking- water bc diet

58. I’m about to go- flirt with my crush

59. Waiting for- my bank loan to go through lmao

60. Want- money, a car, my tattoo

61. Get married- im not too phased really, prefer a career over family

62. Career- Studying to be a mechanic 

WHICH IS BETTER

63. Hugs or kisses- Kisses while being hugged

64. Lips or eyes- both b

65. Shorter or taller- Taller, but my crush is short but he young so he got time left to grow

66. Older or younger- older, BUT CRUSH IS YOUNG HELP ME

67. Nice arms or nice stomach- tummy, i like me my abs. but i also need someone to carry my drunk ass home

68. Hookup or relationship- i like me my hook ups

69. Troublemaker or hesitant- depends if im drunk or not

HAVE YOU EVER

70. Kissed a stranger- too many times to count

71. Drank hard liquor- what else am i supposed to drink?

72. Lost contacts or glasses- i have lost every pair of sunglasses ive ever owned

73. Turned someone down- always, guys are creepy af in bars

74. Sex on the first date- ;) ;) ;)

75. Broken someone’s heart- yup, but that cunt deserved it

76. Had your heart broken- ya, but he lost out on the best thing in his life.

77. Been arrested- not yet

78. Cried when someone died- does fictional characters count?

79. Fallen for a friend- yup, awkward af

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

80. Yourself- im starting to

81. Miracles- yeah, i guess

82. Love at first sight- nah

83. Santa claus- ya, it’s me

84. Kiss on the first date- if they cute

85. Angels- i am an angel

OTHER

86. Favorite animals- sheep, goats, rodents

87. Important albums- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

88. Favorite books- uhhhhhhhh

89. Introvert or extrovert- omnivert 

90. Current best friend’s name- Lennard

91. Eye color- brown/hazel

92. Favorite movies- Human Centipede, Lego Movie, Moulin Rouge

Im gonna tag @youngjaesloudlaugh @sixiz @kaep-jjang-veryjjang

and anyone who wants to do it, i need more mutuals on here, so hit me up :*

[berserker-official]

Then allow me to be the one who does it. -ahem- Answer all 200 questions, please.

YOU

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now?

199: I was born in: A hospital in Colorado

198: I am really: Really tired

197: My cellphone company is: Cricket

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: I think 12?

194: My ring size is: I have no fucking idea

193: My height is: 6′2

192: I am allergic to: Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was: I share a Jeep with the family

190: My 1st job was: A pizza man at Little Caesars in Texas

189: Last book you read: All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka

188: My bed is: Small.

187: My pet: She a good girl and like 6 different breeds

186: My best friend: I have too many

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever’s cheap

184: Xbox or ps3: Both but I’m a sony man at heart

183: Piggy banks are: Neat

182: In my pockets: I don’t have pockets right now

181: On my calendar: Nothing special today but I have the Danganronpa V3 release date on it in a couple of weeks

180: Marriage is: Neat

179: Spongebob can: go steppin on the beach

178: My mom: is neat but I’m mad at her right now

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Silence by Marshmello & Khalid, OTONA HIT PARADE and Emotional Literacy by Bradio

176: Last YouTube video watched: Oney Plays D. Premonition WITH FRIENDS - EP 6 - Minesweeper175: How many cousins do you have? I honestly don’t know. My parents don’t really keep in touch with immediate family. My mom is an only child and my dad doesn’t talk to her sister.174: Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother who’s a fucking loser going for an astrophysics degree.

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? By two feet.

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play percussion in middle school

170: What did you do yesterday? A bunch of stencil work[ I Believe In ] (I’ve already answered these but here u go)169: Love at first sight: Not really168: Luck: Heart of the Cards167: Fate: No166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yeah164: Heaven: Not really163: Hell: Not really162: God: Not really161: Horoscopes: No but I look at them randomly160: Soul mates: Yeah159: Ghosts: No but not yet158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: No it bad156: Orbs: I BELIEVE IN THE ORBS155: Magic: No but not yet[ This or That ] (I’ve answered some of these already but here u go)154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair but I don’t really care?150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blonde cuz I’m ready to have fun149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn’t matter141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate showing off my feet and I actually wore high heels once so HIGH HEELS138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m sweet and poor so that one137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither one I actually don’t like carbonated drinks136: Hillary or Obama: Thanks obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated it’s better for the earth134: Singing or Dancing: Singing even I fuckin suck133: Coach or Chanel: I have no idea132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Whichever is the hand one127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m in the middle so doesn’t matter126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas cuz my birthday is in the summer so I’m dying of heat.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Neither cuz going outside sucks123: Yankees or Red Sox: Cubs cuz they finally won the world series[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It bad121: George Bush: He did Nine Eleven120: Gay Marriage: It’s great why the fuck do people think it’s bad119: The presidential election: In general I used to not care but NOW GO FUCKING VOTE118: Abortion: I think it’s important117: MySpace: I never had a myspace but bring back the grunge emo shit116: Reality TV: It’s obviously fake so115: Parents: Parents are good without them I would not be here (But if they’re abusive fuck them)114: Back stabbers: Drop them faster than you can say bye bitch113: Ebay: I’ve only used it once and it was good so I say sure112: Facebook: Needs to chill the fuck out111: Work: Work is good you get money and gain retail horror stories110: My Neighbors: One of them is a drunk so meh but The Best Neighbor is a guy that used to build his own motorcycles but has heart problems so he had to sell them but he’s a chill guy and I love him109: Gas Prices: TOO DAMN HIGH108: Designer Clothes: Too rich for my blood107: College: A good choice for your future but it’s not for everybody106: Sports: The only sport I care about is MLG Gaming105: My family: They cool but highly problematic104: The future: I’m at a big turning point right now so[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Last Saturday?102: Last time you ate: A couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Last week I think I hung out with a friend and we watched Willow100: Cried in front of someone: Months probably99: Went to a movie theater: I went to see Spider-Man Homecoming when it came out but next month I’m going to see Jigsaw with @warlord-official so that’s fun98: Took a vacation: I don’t know? When I got out of school for summer vacation?97: Swam in a pool: 2011?96: Changed a diaper: I actually never changed a diaper95: Got my nails done: Never94: Went to a wedding: Two years ago93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Sophmore year I got my lip pierced so...2008?91: Broke the law: I think I ran a red light once so a couple years ago?90: Texted: A day?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Me cuz I do the dumbest shit88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: I was watching the Rugrats Movie on Netflix a little while ago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Danganronpa V3 and then Jigsaw in October and the Ixalan MTG set at the end of the month.85: The thing im not looking forward to: The next time I have to go to jury duty84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: Be an adult82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad79: First time you had a crush: Probably in elementary school? She was partially deaf and my teacher told me to help her out for the year and we got pretty close78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My friends cuz I gotta let my baggage out77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don’t remember cuz all my friends think the same way76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I wanna do photography maybe teaching74: I have/will get a job: When I graduate73: Tomorrow: I gotta get up early for school72: Today: I did a bunch of school readings71: Next Summer: I’m gonna die from heat again70: Next Weekend: Hopefully I can hang with friends69: I have these pets: A good dog68: The worst sound in the world: When a racist opens their mouth67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Roman from the FH team cuz he’s NOT FUCKING NERFING CENT66: People that make you happy: All my friends65: Last time I cried: Just now boi we goin in hard64: My friends are: Good boys and girls63: My computer is: I have an 5 year old ASUS laptop that I should try to upgrade cuz it runs Overwatch poorly62: My School: MSU Denver61: My Car: I share a Jeep with the family60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat my friends like they’re subhuman59: The movie I cried at was: Death Note cuz it was fucking awful58: Your hair color is: Dirty blonde57: TV shows you watch: The only stuff on now that I’m watching is Rick and Morty and AHS: Cult56: Favorite web site: Tumblr even though this hellsite is full of sin55: Your dream vacation: Japan?54: The worst pain I was ever in was: My wisdom teeth were pretty obnoxious53: How do you like your steak cooked: Rare52: My room is: Very messy and small51: My favorite celebrity is: Gal Gadot50: Where would you like to be: Anywhere not stressed out49: Do you want children: Only if I have an S/O that wants kids48: Ever been in love: Yeh47: Who’s your best friend: I have too many to count but @warlord-official is one of them46: More guy friends or girl friends: I think it’s a tie?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my friends are happy or I eat a good burger44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend that’s in Japan I miss her43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope41: Have you pre-named your children: I did when I was dating someone and thought we were pretty serious but then I found out she was cheating on me so not anymore40: Last person I got mad at: My mom39: I would like to move to: Japan or somewhere that is cool all the time like Washington maybe38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pay Day36: Vehicle: Reasonably priced car is one of the new Jeeps. Super expensive car would be an Aston Martin or Maserati35: President: Obama34: State visited: Georgia was nice33: Cellphone provider: Cricket cuz it’s the only one I’ve had32: Athlete: John Elway31: Actor: Chris Evans30: Actress: Gal Gadot29: Singer: Kesha28: Band: Bradio or Starset27: Clothing store: DXL cuz it’s the only store that sells clothes for Big Boys26: Grocery store: Safeway25: TV show: Hannibal or Future Diary. Rick and Morty is always good24: Movie: Saw, Pacific Rim, Back to the Future, or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift23: Website: Tumle dot hell22: Animal: Dog?21: Theme park: NONE OF EM20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: I used to do tennis so that one17: Magazine: Shonen Jump or Game Informer16: Book: The Disaster Artist15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: I’ve never been to a beach13: Concert attended: Either PVRIS or A Perfect Circle with @warlord-official12: Thing to cook: It’s like a mix of pizza and spaghetti11: Food: A nice burger10: Restaurant: I like Smashburger9: Radio station: I don’t remember the one that plays rock music here but that one8: Yankee candle scent: Something about rain?7: Perfume: There was a vanilla one that I thought smelled nice a long time ago6: Flower: idk?5: Color: a deep blue4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres?3: Comedian: Bo Burnham2: Dog breed: Mutt1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I hope so   

[bentfire]

85 questions game

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by @madi-starlight  thanks!! i’m procrastinating and this was a v nice distraction

i’m gonna tag @zoetekohana @zaatanna @puddingmcmuffin @mininjas @fireonallwires @distopianpixie + anyone else who wants to, sry i’m shit at tagging people in these things

the last

01. drink: water

02. phone call: to a local restaurant for food delivery bc i was too lazy to cook

03. text message: one of my friends is obsessed w/ lisa frank so i sent her the link to the lf tarot cards

04. song you listened to: "dinosaur” - akmu

05. time you cried: last week probably. my best friend and i currently aren’t talking and i’ve been taking it pretty hard lately.

06. dated someone twice: yup

07. kissed someone and regretted it: not really

08. been cheated on: yuuuuup

09. lost someone special: my childhood dog, balki. i’ve lost all my grandparents, but none of those hit me anywhere near as hard as my dog, honestly.

10. been depressed: i mean i go through phases where i’m sad? but i think to say i was depressed would be embellishing it.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: almost every time tbh. unless i’m home drinking alone, then i know when i’ve hit my limit. but if i’m out with friends i usually don’t realize i’m ~gone until like....... i’m way fuckin gone

3 favourite colours

12. turquoise!!

13. green

14. b l a c k

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: i don’t rly think so

16. fallen out of love: never been in love!

17. laughed until you cried: oh yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you: no! but i wouldn’t be surprised if my coworkers do lmao

19. met someone who changed you: nnnnnno

20. found out who your friends are: regrettably

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup!

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the vast majority of them? i don’t use fb anymore but i honestly don’t think i added anyone on there i hadn’t met. OH there’s a few tumblr friends on there, but i think only three maybe that i haven’t actually met.

23. do you have any pets: yep! a dog, khloe.

24. do you want to change your name: i used to?? i mean. i’m not in love with my name. heather is kinda ..... lame tbh. but i mostly go by nicknames so it doesn’t bother me too much

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i don’t think i did anything, actually. 

26. what time did you wake up: noon. ooops. but i didn’t fall asleep until almost 5am soooo

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: probably working out. that’s usually the time of night i finally force myself to lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: young justice!!!!! getting my hair/cut dyed in a couple days! i ordered new glasses and i’m excited for those to come in!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a year and a half ago

31. what are you listening to right now: the crickets chirp 

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i work in a retail pharmacy so yaaaaa probably on a daily basis, there’s a zillion ppl named tom/thomas

33. something that is getting on your nerves: blogs w/ impossible to find back buttons!! i’m trying to scroll through your blog like pls don’t make me work for it

34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, ulta

35. hair color: blonde

36. long or short hair: medium?? it’s a couple inches past my collarbone

37. do you have a crush on someone: vaaaaguely. there’s a dude i semi-work with and he’s just so gosh darn nice?? he’s coming back to work with us for a few days and its Glaringly Fucking Obvious to my coworkers i like him so when head boss dude told me he was coming back he announced it in front of allllll my coworkers so they could laugh at how badly i blushed. i hate that i’m fucking obvious!!! but at least he doesn’t know lmao

38. what do you like about yourself: i like to think i’m pretty funny. also my hair. eyes. booty. not to be totally self-involved but tbh i really love my toosh.

39. piercings: two in each ear and a nose ring!

40. blood type: i probably bleed kpop at this point

41. nickname: benny, peetah, pikachu, little bit

42. relationship status: single, thank fuck. i like my freedom too much.

43. zodiac: libra.

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: AVATAR: THE LAST DAMN AIRBENDER, young justice, voltron (i hate putting voltron next to those two though bc no offense but like....... voltron could never ever compare to how glorious a:tla/yj are)

46. tattoos: none! i’m debating getting one before my bday in october though

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: i had my gall bladder removed when i was 15

50. sport: i was a goalie in soccer for years!

51. vacation: like dream vacation?? australia. california. vegas. seoul. 

52. pair of trainers: apparently trainers = tennis shoes????? idek these things. i have a white pair of keds that i wear almost daily bc work

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: the last thing i ate was a couple apple slices?? idk what this is asking

54. drinking: waaaater

55. I’m about to: try to get some sleep

56. waiting for: sleepiness to hit me tbh

57. want: money. to kiss a pretty girl. to have my own house.

58. get married: maybe? i honestly can’t imagine myself caring about someone enough to wanna marry them though. and if i ever did no wedding pls thanks.

59. career: pharmacy technician!

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs

61. lips or eyes: lips

62. shorter or taller: TALLER tho it aint hard bc im way too short

63. older or younger: i guess older? 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms

65. hookup or relationship: iiiiiii guess relationship? 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker duh

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: i don’t think so

68. drank hard liquor: yaaaa

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

70. turned someone down: yupyup

71. sex on the first date: lmao yes

73. had your heart broken: i’m currently mourning the loss of question 72 so yes?? but truthfully yeah. i wouldn’t say my heart was broken as that’s melodramatic af. but there was a dude i could’ve really seen myself falling for and it didn’t pan out and that was probably the saddest i’ve ever been over anyone.

74. been arrested: nope. but i have been pulled over by the cops five times in one night. four?? maybe it was four times idk

75. cried when someone died: my dog, yeah. 

76. fallen for a friend: i’ve had crushes but def never fallen.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: sometimes

78. miracles: not really

79. love at first sight: lust, yeah. love, nope.

80. santa claus: nope

81. kiss on the first date: i actually used to be anti-anything on the first date, but that’s mostly bc it takes me a long time to warm up to people and feel comfortable enough around them to do anything. but the last girl i dated i did literally everything with on the first date so ?????? guess that shits out the door

82. angels: not so much

OTHER:

84. eye colour: mine?? blue. kind of a greyish blue.

85. favourite movie: the first thing that came to mind was ‘forgetting sarah marshall’ tbh

[aw-yeah-jimin]

get to know me

tagged by @honey-hoseok - i havent been tagged in a thing in ages lol thank you~

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (im like gonna tag like 3 people tbh)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: i lit cant remember the last time i made a phonecall... mightve been when the hospital rang about my address change 3. Text message: mum about picking me up 4. Song you listened to: neyo because of you 5. Time you cried: idk couple of weeks ago

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: nah 9. Lost someone special: not really 10. Been depressed: ye 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah lmao

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. orange 13. blue 14. grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: kinda idk??? theyre kinda more like acquaintances really i dont talk to them much outside of uni and theyre all like from birmingham so they have their home mates anyway 16. Fallen out of love: nah 17. Laughed until you cried: i do all the time tbh 18. Found out someone was talking about you: ye... but like everyone in the flat talked shit about each other so im not surprised but it was joke because she thought i banged on the walls when her and her bf had sex??? like no i just hit my head a lot because i cant sit still 19. Met someone who changed you: nah 20. Found out who your friends are: kinda 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nah

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like all but about 10-20 23. Do you have any pets: ye man we got a dog like 2 weeks ago lmao 24. Do you want to change your name: nah 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing tbh went bank and doctors lol 26. What time did you wake up: about 10:20 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: just watching tv 28. Name something you can’t wait for: tbh to go back to uni/find out if me new flatmates are terrible or good this time lol 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: im not really unhappy with anything rn 31. What are you listening to right now: the tv 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ye lol one of my uni flatmates was a tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not a lot really 34. Most visited website: youtube probably

LOST QUESTIONS. 35. Mole/s: ye a few 36. Mark/s: i have a few from rashes that i kept scratching but then they went away but you can still see where they were 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a policewoman i think lol 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: short-ish 40. Do you have a crush on someone: not really 41. What do you like about yourself: er like looks wise i like me nose lmao n like just in general i think im good at communicating like i can make a convo out of any random crap 42. Piercings: i have the standard lobes, and then daith and conch on me right ear 43. Blood type: AB+ 44. Nickname: lou/loulou 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: cancer 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: omg so many like rick and morty, adventure time, steven universe, coach trip, hollyoaks, its aunny 49. Tattoos: nah 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: nah 52. Hair dyed in different colors: i used to dye the ends different colours but i havent for a couple years 53. Sport: i lit havent done sport since school n i was only good at netball n table tennis tbh n like i just messed around in P.E. most of the time and me and amy made up our own versions of how to do things lol 54. There’s no question here so fun fact: ???idk likeee... i really actually enjoy doing laundry but everyone else seems to hate it and idgi bc i find it to be one of the easiest chores even when you hang it out on a washing line its really not that bad 55. Vacation: i havent been away since 2011:( but on that one it was a school trip, we went to america skiing, and on the way back had a stop over in france because it was cheaper than direct to england lol 56. Pair of trainers: i just live in vans tbh lol but i have a pair of nike hitops that are like 6 years old but theyre so comfy for like long distance driving/walking far lol

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing         58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: do nothing tbh lol it's chill out time 60. No question here either so another fun fact: erm like i think im good with money??? like compared to me mates and that i think im less like sponteneous and i think more about what im buying and also what i could buy instead that i actually properly need lol 61. Waiting for: this was already a question??? 62. Want: i want the zephyr vans but we dont have that colour here;( 63. Get married: im honestly not too bothered if i do get married or not 64. Career: im like still not fully sure what i want to do, like i just do business in general at uni, but im leaning towards something in accounting and finance

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: the same height or taller, like im quite tall too so 68. Older or younger: i lean toward older but younger by a year or 2 is cool 69. No question here: ??????????????????????k 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms i guess 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant:  hesitant i suppose

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nah 75. Drank hard liquour: ye 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont use either 77. Turned someone down: nah 78. Sex in the first date: nah 79. Broken someone’s heart: not to my knowledge 80. Had your heart broken: nah 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: no one i know has died since i was like 6 so idk if i did then or not bc i cant remember 83. Fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: most of the time 85. Miracles: sorta 86. Love at first sight: not really  87. Santa Claus: nah 88. Kiss in the first date: depends how it goes 89. Angels: nah

OTHER: 90. Current best friend’s name: i dont really have one tbh 91. Eye color: green 92. Favorite movie: im not much of a movie person tbh i probably watch three a year lol but my fav one i saw recently is girls trip

okay tagging: @run-run-run-rn @chensguns @auroraemberneko @22wooji n yeah cya

[tophbiefong]

❤ Shoutout to my hunnis @beliamyblakes& @bellxmyblakes for tagging me ❤

Rules: you must answer these 83 statements and tag 20 people

Under the cut bc its pretty long soz 

Last… 1. drink? lemon lime sparkling water (that sounds so boujee but its actually not) 2. phone call? my mom  3. text message? I sent my bosses a meme lmaoo  4. song you listened to? I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys (I just recently bought a ‘BSB Greatest Hits’ cd and its all I’ve been listening to) 5. time you cried? a couple hrs ago for absolutely no reason Have you ever… 6. dated someone twice? lmao nah 7. kissed someone and regretted it? hells yah 8. been cheated on? nope 9. lost someone special? yes 10. been depressed? 4 sure 11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve got a puking-phobia so I’ve figured out how to get hella fucked up and not puke favourite colors: 12. blue 13. grey 14. pink in the last year, have you… 15. made new friends? so so many, and I’m so happy about it!! 16. fallen out of love? nah 17. laughed until you cried? aw hell yeuh 18. found out someone was talking about you? idk for sure but probably 19. met someone who changed you? oui  20. found out who your friends are? I’ve known that shit since a week after I graduated high school  21. kissed somone on your facebook list? ew yes (~regret~) 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? almost all of them, except distant family members who’ve added me  23. do you have any pets? two dogs  24. do you want to change your name? I will forever wish my first name was my middle name bc Brooke is gross (both the name and the person ayyyeee) 25. what did you do for your last birthday? went to a boujee restaurant wit my fam and had my first legal drink (it was a mojitio and I hated it bc mint is gross) 26. what time did you wake up? 9:21 am bc my ma was calling me askin about oranges 27. what were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, which literally never happens   28. name something you can’t wait for: moving to van with Danni ( @beliamyblakes​ its gonna happen i s2g) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom? literally 2 seconds ago 30. what are you listening to right now? Supernatural on the tv 31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom? ew yes, my mom works with a douchey guy names Tom and I hate him sm  32. something that is getting on your nerves? being an adult 33. most visited website? probably netlfix or youtube 34. hair colour? dirty blonde wit a red streak (I didn’t copy a fictional character wtf r u talkign abt ??) 35. long or short hair? I love my long hair, but I recently cut it all off for the summer 36. do you have a crush on someone? no one irl but bob morley 4ever n always 37. what do you like about yourself? lmao nothing ?? i suck ?? 38. piercings: 6 on my ears and my nose  39. blood type: does anyone actually know this ???? 40. nickname: B, kate calls me Brooketh, my mom calls me Ethel 41. relationship status: single (BUT SOMEONE PLS TAKE ME) 42. zodiac: Leo  43. pronouns: she/her 44. favourite tv show: the 100, b99, this is us, the office, parks and rec, bob’s burgers, gravity falls is a new one, teen wolf (even tho it pisses me off so fuckin much) 45. tattoos: the ‘I solemnly swear’ HP quote on my right foot, and I want like 12 more 46. right or left handed: right 47. surgery: I had my appendix taken out when I was 6 48. sport: I used to swim competitively, and I wish I still did  49. vacation: I’ve literally never gone on vacation, but I go up my grandparents cottage a lot in the summer 50. pair of trainers: blue nikes if we’re talking actual running shoes, but I prefer flip flops in the summer and uggs in the winter 51. eating: nothing rn 52. drinking: lemon lime sparkling water still  53. im about to: start working on a special sth 4 my bbs 👀👀👀 54. waiting for?: someone to love me  55. want?: the motivation to actually do the shit I say I’m gonna do  56. get married?: yes, but imma be single forever so it doesn’t matter  57. career?: IDFK 58. hugs or kisses?: both, but kisses more  59. lips or eyes?: eyes (mine are blue, but i love brown eyes so much) 60. shorter or taller?: taller 61. older or younger?: older, bc ppl my age are idiots  62. nice arms or nice stomach?: for me ? stomach  63. hook up or relationship?: relationship 64. troublemaker or hesitant?: hesitant, I worry waaaay too much & am therefore v cautious   65. kissed a stranger: nah 66. drank hard liquor: oui oui  67. lost glasses/contact lenses: nah bc im v cautious 68. turned someone down: yes (and deeply regretted it after) 69. sex on the first date: no thx 70. broken someones heart: i really don’t know 71. had your heart broken: yes  72. been arrested: IM V CAUTIOUS 73. cried when someone died: yes ?? obviously ?? 74. fallen for a friend: yes do you believe in… magic 75. yourself? lmao no  76. miracles? not really  77. love at first sight? maybe  78. santa claus? nah 79. kiss on the first date? If the date was good and I like the person 80. angels? nope 81. current best friend’s name? Alexandra, Danni, and Kate  82. eye colour: blue  83. favourite movie: The Little Mermaid 

tagging: @starboybellamy @clarkegryphus @bellammy @the-princess-and-the-king​ @griffinnblake​ @as-inevitable-as-morning​ and anyone else who feels like it

[skiasurveys]

Talk about...

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. - I cant remember that well since I was a little kid.. ( The lion king), um but I remember being so into it and I loved animals and it kind of started me wanting to draw. But i cant remember the first time i watched it. 

2: Talk about your first kiss.  We were really awkward, I liked him..but not enough, and so we went driving around, got starbucks, and then found this bench and we were talking/flirting, and then he just kissed me. But it was nasty asf, it was so gross. his spit was all over me, blehh. I hated it. I remember being like if this is kissing i do not want it. It wasnt tell i kissed another person that i was like Oh thats what its supposed to be like..

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for. He is my current boyfriend. We met on Okcupid in 2015 right after i had finished high school. It was like September. its funny because i wasnt rly serious on that site but then I started to talk to him and we hit it off really well.. we dated for  a week then broke up LMAOOO. But then in April 2016 we started to talk again and in May we dated. so its been a year so far, and i am really in love with him. He and I click very well, he’s  7 years older than me. we play video games together but sometimes i watch him play by himself cus its fun that way too. He likes anime tho and i hate it lol. hes very funny and he can be super sweet and romantic and sometimes hes jusr a fkn nerd. idk what else to say before i start going on forever about it.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.  Meeting the dude who assaulted me. we were just friends and i had a bad feeling about him but i shoved it off. and then he attacked and assaulted me. I wish i went with that gut feeling. Thank god hes gone.

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.  My best birthday was either my 18th or 19th. My 20th was boring. But my 18th I got a wii U and i got drunk too, and i had fun. but yeah, like idk the best prob was when i was a child and had lotsa friends and cake.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.  My 16th because my dad was dying.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.  My biggest insecurity is my body shape.weight. I just hate it because I feel fucking ugly and fat and I really am not, but idk i just want to be skinny and tiny.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I am proud that i graduated and got my license, since I was struggling to graduate which was like 2 years ago but i was going through a lot.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my eyes, and I do like that i have small hands and feet. ( its easy to find shoes). But I also like my legs and that I have a bigger butt. 

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.  theres been a few. But i think with my ex friend who just said she hated me and it was random asf, but she ghosted on me after and so it wasnt really a fight. another one i had was when i started to date my current BF and he wasnt being the best and I was like maybe i should drop him so i tried too and then we fought and then we actually were adults and explained the situation and we sorted it all out. since then we have been so good. like we know how eachother works. Lol fuck.

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had. I cant think of one.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. i had a nightmare where this creepy ass creature was crawling up my walls and turned its head all around and had lifeless eyes and creepy sharp jagged teeth, and it was just terrifying. but then my mom killed it.. wtf

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The first time i had sex I was super nervous. ( It was with my current bf), and we tried and then i started to cry because I was nervous and also from my trauma, and then he was like okay thats fine. Then later that night he asked if we wanted to try again so I said sure. and so we started to make out and then before i knew it was actually inside me and I was like wtf that wasnt bad, and it felt really good. It wasnt overly romantic like they make in movies but it was super good and he was slow and good with me. ever since then i crave dick every minute LMAOOO.

14: Talk about a vacation.  I went to disneyland with my mom the year i was graduating high school. It was so much fun, I felt so safe and happy . I cant really explain what i felt just felt like everything was gonna be OK and the rides were just so awesome and the food was great lol

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.  It was when I was starting to date Connor again and we were hanging out and I was like wow, my life is going perfect right now and I felt so happy.

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to. I never go to parties but the one i went to was at my boyfriends friends house and I just started to drink rum n coke and it was really good and made lots of friends but there wasnt that many people there but i felt really happy.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.  I cant think of anyone lol

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.   i got bullied alot for stupid shit.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.  I was in foods class and I was with my friend Jenna, Brittney, Shae and Julia. There was orientation for the kids from elementary that night, and so we asked if we could stay extra and make the cookies and so we were allowed. Then Julia and Shae left to use the washroom. Jenna and I had finished up and were heading to our other class, and as we walked in there was a alarm for a lock down and we were like holy shit. There was somekid with a knife walking around. they calmed him down, but it was really creepy. But our friend brittney was by herself in the foods room and she was crying and i felt so bad omg rip brittney

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.  I had math class one afternoon and the class before me apparently this girl had a seizure. But i didnt know, so when we walked in the classroom I was like wtf why are the desks all pushed around and so i thought they did some activity, but it turns out this girl had a seizure, and my friend told me about it and how it was super traumatizing our teacher even got bit. it was really weird..

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.  He is my friend still but he really liked me and he asked me out and I had to tell him No and i said that i wasnt looking for a relationship but it was super awkward but hes cool.

22: Talk about your worst fear.  choking.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. I really liked this one guy and we went on a first date and then he asked if  i wanted to chill the next week and so i said sure. But then that day he had texted me and said he was busy and that i couldnt come over and so I was like Oh ok, cool. and then he told me to make sure i wasnt looking for anything serious, and then so i never saw him again after the first date. But he was really boring so thank god i didn’t. and its funny cus a few months after he had some gf and i think he is still with her cus i would see them at the mall all the time. but yeah im glad it didnt work out!

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. One night ( this is cheesy ) It was like 4 am and Connor was watching TV and I was scrolling through tumblr lookin at funny memes/posts and he just turned and looked at me and said “Jen, youre my best friend” and it just made my night. It was super sweet and i felt great. 

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.  ho ho ho okay, so we were friends since grade 9 summer/beg of grade 10. we were close asf, we liked the same shit, we thought the same. she was great. she was the first best friend i ever had rly. so a couple times through out our friendship she would kind of vanisha nd not talk but it was her depression and it was annoying asf. anyways.. after grade 12 grad  (this is like oct 2015), i tried to message her but it wouldnt let me! so i soon realized she blocked me on everything. i texted her thanks for that and then feb 2016 we became friends again, then may 2016 she ghosted on me but she finally sent message saying how she hated me etc and really too this day it hurts but i still dont know what actually fucking happened.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.  if im really sick  i just sleep and watch youtube videos. or ill have a bath.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.  i really love my boyfriends arms. theyre so big and strong. mmmm.

28: Talk about your fetishes.  i dont rly have a fetish tbh.

29: Talk about what turns you on.  i like when my bf dominates me, but not too hardcore. I like neck kissing, facial hair, deep voices, motivation. I like being tackled like play fighting and i like when he touches my thighs etc. mm

30: Talk about what turns you off.  being an asshole, racist/sexiest, if youre super smelly. if youre really tall and skinny.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.  i dont know. its probably weird asf.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.  i remember this place called Moonwalkers and it was this crazyass jungle gym we had and it was the best shit ever.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.  i draw, listen to music, have a bath..etc

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. getting hit by a car.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.  i wish i would stop comparing myself to every fucking person i see.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.  some anime. 

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. i thought i loved wade, but i really was just liking the idea of someone. this was in high school. lol it was really weird and i didnt like it.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. it depeds on the song and the person. pink floyd reminds me ofmy ex friend. Anime/kpop songs remind me of Kyra and super lovely songs and omam remind me of connor

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.  not everyone you lose is a loss.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life. the end of high school and teenage years was really weird. i remember feeling so out of place and not sure what t do with myself.

[donaldtrumpsrightear]

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end choose 25 people to tag.

 i was tagged by @honeyy-tongue who is just the best


LAST: 


1. drink: Cran-pomegranate juice 


2. phone call: Dentist (look at me adult!!)


3. text message: Joe

4. song listened to: De-Punked - Gorillaz, Space Monkeys


5. time you cried: ???? probably some time since new years

HAVE YOU EVER:

 
6. dated somebody twice: nah


7. been cheated on: kinda?? 


8. kissed someone and regretted it: YUPPPPPPP

 
9. lost someone special: No

10. been depressed: Clinically? no

11. gotten drunk and puked: oh boy yes

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS: 


12. Black 


13. Teal


14. Copper


IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 


15. made new friends: I think?

 
16. fallen out of love: nope 


17. laughed until you cried: naw


18. found out someone was gossiping about you: No

19. met somebody who changed you: No


20. find out who your true friends are: lol no how do you even do that

21. kissed somebody on your Facebook list: no

 
HOW MANY/MUCH: 


22. facebook friends do you have in real life: i don’t know what this means? 

 
23. pets: 3 cats (Oscar Wilde, Aphra Behn, Tipitina), and a dog (Frannie)

24. want to change name: *ambivalent shrug*

WHAT:

25. did i get for my last birthday: Oh shit who remembers that far back...A book, probably?

26. time i woke up: 8-ish

27. doing at midnight: ignoring my self-imposed bedtime

28. something you cannot wait for: Summer, when I get to do RESEARCH and have an INCOME to buy TATTOOS

29. last time i saw my mum: this morning (its her bday yall)


30. something you wish you could change about your life: the fact that it’s in florida

31. listening to right now: The Pixies

32. something that gets on your nerves: creepy guys skeeving on me

33. talked to a person named Tom: like two weeks ago? Lol but you don’t talk TO him, he talks AT you.

34. most visited website: lbr its tumblr

 
35. elementary school: St. Pious 

36. high school: I’m not gonna say it, because the city’s like, in the name. 

37. college: A Florida State college


38. hair colour: Ash blonde naturally

39. long or short hair: medium?


40. crush: They’re all on this site right now, so...na

41. what do you like about yourself: My intelligence (is that a shitty thing to say?)

42. piercings: normal ear holes, weird ear holes, and tongue. I’ve been thinking about cyber bites too

43. blood type: O+
  just like like 33% of all white peoples

44. nickname: K2

45. relationship status: single 


46. zodiac: leo 


47. pronouns: she/her


48. favourite show: Lady Dynamite

49. tattoos: a WIP on my back

50. right or left handed: right


FIRST: 


51. surgery: tonsils


52. piercing: ears 


53. best friend: Helen, who, in retrospect was a terrible friend and person

54. sport: Soccer

55. vacation: Family vacays to Wells, ME 

56. pair of shoes: White sneakers with light up soles

RIGHT NOW: 57. eating: snap peas 58. drinking: nothing i’m fucking parched 59. im about to: get some tea 60. listening to: Missy Elliott 61. waiting for: I feel like these are repeats? 62. want to see: Like? movies??? PEolple?? so vague. Get Out 63. want to get married: ehhhhhhhhh 64. career: none WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs/kisses: hugs, because with kisses you get rated on skill  66. lips/eyes: lips. 67. shorter/taller: whatever 68. younger/older: NBD, but mostly older because I cannot tell whether a person is 16 or 22 and I don’t want to make that mistake thanks 69. romantic/spontaneous: idfk what this means but seeing as I need a week’s preparation to make a phone call, definitely not spontaneous 70. nice arms/nice stomach: idgaf 71. sensitive/loud: pls not loud 72. hook up/relationship: relationship for sure 73. troublemaker/hesitant: mmmmm bad boys/girls/people (but no actually if we’re both hesitant, neither of us would make the first move) HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: no 75. drank hard liquor?: friend, let me introduce you to my freshman year 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t use em 77. turned someone down: yes because the only people who hit on me are skeeves who hit on anything with a heartbeat  78. canoodling on first date: depends on how the date’s going 79. broken someones heart: errrrr probably... 80. had your own heart broken: yea but it was ultimately my fault 81: been arrested: no 82: cried when someone died: yup 83: fallen for a friend: constantly??  DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: Sure? 85. miracles: no 86. love at first sight: No. but that doesn’t stop me from trying 87. Santa Clause: no 88. kiss on first date: as a possibility, yes. as an obligation, no 89. angels: nope OTHER: 90. current best friends names: Joe, Tiffani, Jenna 91. eye colour: blue 92. favourite movie/s: Arsenic & Old Lace, The Perfect Host, Monsters tagging: jeez 25 people? I don’t think i have that many mutuals... @benjaminbreeg, @papertiger94, @undergoingcalibrations, @cookiepixel, @starla-nell, @loveisnanelement and anyone else who wants to seriously if I didn’t tag you its cuz I was worried I’d annoy you