#my biological father the bus driver is OUT

[probablygayattorneys]

According to on this day, it’s been one year since I watched the episode of the anime where the Professor and Kat were reunited and I just want everyone to know I’m still absolutely not over it.

[sapanulatnitiyangligaya]

POISON IVY

I can't stop crying and sobbing as I see the cops handcuff and take my mother to the police car. She appears horrified by what has happened to our home and is unable to cover the tragedy-plagued look on her face. She gave me the saddest face when her eyes met mine and she shook her head in a hurting manner as if she wanted to tell me something that had upset her. I then recalled the first time I had seen her look like that, which was when she found out that my stepdad, who was at the time my mom's lover, had been abusing me when I was still in fourth grade. She nearly killed Jerry because she was so enraged and upset. Jerry was the name of my stepfather, and I genuinely despise him. It's even more painful because Jerry was my best friend and we were close long before she met my mother.

I spotted my step-dad staring at us, drinking his beer, and sitting in his recliner looking perplexed while I sat on the floor playing some card games. Since it's a Saturday and he's off work, my mom asked him if he could remain  so he could take care of me while she's gone to work. By the way, my name is Ivy, and my mother told me that she chose it because she loves the poison ivy flower, and since May is the blooming month for that flower, which is the month I was born in, she decided to give me that name.

My mother kissed me on the forehead and caressed my hair as she got ready to leave. She quickly went to Jerry's and bid him goodbye after that. However, Jerry soon learns that my mom left her phone on the living room table while getting ready and that she had forgotten to take it with her. As a result, Jerry ran out of the home while yelling my mom's name to gain her attention.

Hey, Hon! Lisa! You left your phone behind! Wait up," Jerry said.

Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t notice it! Thanks Hon! I’ll go ahead then!” Lisa replied.

“Sure, thing Hon! You take care”

          After that, he headed back home and continued drinking his beer while looking after us. After a while, Jerry came to me and asked me if I wanted a friend to play with and I immediately said yes since we really played a lot together even before he became my step-dad.

Due to the death of my biological father, we were compelled to leave my mom's hometown, and on my first day at my new school as a grade 4 pupil, where I transferred, Jerry was our bus driver and that’s when our friendship started. My parents learned that my father has cancer and has only a limited amount of time left to live by the time I started 3rd grade school. Considering that I was still quite young, my mother was devastated to hear such news. Mom, however, has never abandoned my biological dad; she has cared for him until he was no longer able to function normally. After a while, my dad passed away and I really missed him so much. That’s when we have to leave town and transfer to a new one for us to be able to move on.

Meeting Jerry was like a miracle for me since I instantly loved him and became friends with him because I could see my father in him. Moving on was not difficult for me since I knew I already had Jerry as a friend and that anytime I missed my dad, he would always buy me ice cream and drive me to the park. Seeing him every day makes me happy since I get to ride with him to school and home after my classes. I admired Jerry so much and had such a high level of trust in him. My mother is aware of how close we are because we stay friends till the sixth grade.

As time went on, our connection grew closer, and when I started junior high school, I found out that Jerry and Mom were dating. I was thrilled for them because it would just increase the amount of time I would get to spend with Jerry. I was delighted to learn that they had already decided to move in together after how long they had been dating. My relationship with Jerry as my step-dad was excellent for the first three months.

Jerry then requested me to play with him in the room at that point. As soon as I walked into the room, I noticed him grab his towel and tell me to join him in bed. Particularly when he took his hands off my legs, I was really baffled. Because I was too little to grasp what was occurring, I just let him keep doing what he was doing, which led to him molestation of me without my knowledge. I only know that we are playing together. He made me do things that adults should only do, but since I can make Jerry happy, they feel normal to me.

He persisted in abusing me while my mother was away, but when I was in the eighth grade, I realized what we were actually up to thanks to our sex education lesson. Though I was astonished to have realized it, I was unexpectedly not angry at all. I wasn't insulted, and I never harbored any animosity toward Jerry. It turned out that I was enjoying what he was doing to me, and I then realized that I was already beginning to like him. By that time, I confronted him.

I went home immediately after school and grabbed his arm towards the backyard and then told him what I discovered.

“I know what you’re doing to me!”

“What do you mean Ivy?” Jerry said.

“I know that you’re molesting me and that it’s not normal!”

“Uhh. Uhmmm.”

“But don’t worry, I won’t tell mom!”

“What? Why?” Jerry asked.

“Because I like you! I like you Jerry! So, I won’t ever tell mom. But promise me that you’ll give me all your attention. That you’ll love me more than Lisa!”

“What? Are you crazy? Ivy, that’s impossible. I love your mom so much!” Jerry said.

“Then I will call the police and tell mom you raped me!”

(I took out my phone in attempt to call the police but Jerry grabbed it from my hand)

“Hey stop! Give me that Ivy! You’re not calling anyone!” Jerry said.

“What do you want Ivy?” Jerry asked.

“You! I want you Jerry!”

“But your still young!” Jerry said.

“You should have thought of that before molesting me! You know what I want Jerry! I want you to be mine!”

“Fine! You psycho!”

Jerry then went, leaving me in the backyard, where I was grinning. Jerry is someone I adore and I want to be his forever. Jerry is mine no matter what. Therefore, if I see Jerry being so kind to Lisa, I will do something to stole Lisa’s attention.

One day I was minding my own business in the school's restroom when some girls entered and began to harass me. They are the Queenbie's gals, who are known for harassing numerous students at school. Because I knew they would harm me, and that is exactly what happened, I became extremely upset. I reported the Quuenbies for what they did, and the administrator asked mom to come to school. Mom was surprised to see how badly my face had been punched and was bleeding, which enraged her. As a result, she reported the queenbies and asked for their expulsion. They went crazy, accusing me of lying, but it was too late for them because they had already been expelled.

Mom took care of me till we returned home, but I told my mom to start working again because I can take care of myself. But as Jerry entered the room shortly after arriving home from work, he was startled. He was shocked to see me looking like that, so mom explained what had happened to me. After some time, Jerry informed my mother that she could already return to work and that he would be the one to look after me. Which actually made me happy to hear, so I grinned secretly.

Jerry took really good care of me and I enjoyed the care and attention he showered me. Then I asked him something that I know would make him happy.

“Don’t you love me back Jerry?”

“What kind of question is that?” Jerry asked.

“Why haven't you touched me since I told you I liked you?”

“I don’t think I have to answer that” Jerry said.

He stood up and turned to go when I grabbed his hand and began to entice him. After some hesitation, he finally gave in. I restored his joy, and I was overjoyed to do it. He was relishing the moment, and I was overjoyed since it indicated that he is already beginning to like me. I know why he molested me when I was young, it is because mom can’t tend to his craving for pleasure and I was happy to fulfill it for him. But then I noticed that the love he has for Lisa is still strong so I felt so upset.

I made the decision to act after recognizing that Jerry is not truly mine. I went to Mom's office and told her that Jerry had assaulted me ever since he moved in with Mom and had committed a sexual assault on me. I put some victim behavior since I need to seem so factual. Additionally, I told her that Jerry had threatened to kill my mother and me if I ever revealed what he had done to me. Even though it wasn't entirely true, I told him the worst things he had ever done to me. Because he didn't deserve to be happy if I wasn't going to have him as my own, I was determined to end their relationship at any costs.

Mom stormed home quickly, grabbed a knife from the kitchen, and waited for Jerry to get home. After some time, Mom became enraged and attacked Jerry as I was at the corner acting tearful. Mom jumped onto Jerry and attempted to kill her in her rage. However, the police had already arrived, so Jerry was taken into custody. Jerry later appealed to the court, claiming that it was all a fabrication and that he had never touched me. My mother became irater and more ordered him never to speak to her again.

I felt so happy cause I got victory of tearing Jerry down and ruining their relationship with mom. I was laughing on my mind but then I have to compose myself because the police are going to get my testimonies so I have to really act so pitiful and that they will believe me and assumed that I’m harmless. But Jerry really fought back claiming that he’s innocent but he was sentenced to life imprisonment. Jerry was enraged after hearing the verdict and immediately turn to me attempting to hurt me that’s why the people even believed me that Jerry is as a psycho.

Three months after the tragedy my mother experienced, I can immediately see that she has moved on and I have noticed that she is already seeing someone. Even though I hadn't yet seen who she was dating, I still stood by her. As I can never see Jerry again after locking him up, I also let go of my feelings for him. Additionally, I began dating Nick, a student I met there. We frequently hung out and helped one another. I nevertheless showered her with love and attention despite the fact that he was unaware of my secrets. It was easy sailing until I realized he appeared to be having an extramarital affair, but since I trusted him so much, I didn't bother to ask him. He abruptly ended our relationship, though, and I was left wondering why. He said that he can't see a future with me when I asked him why, and he was very straightforward in his response. However, I'm aware that he is concealing something, so I need to look into it.

He then revealed that he is dating my mom, who had introduced him to me. I was fumingly angry when I saw them together, but I kept my composure. Because I care so much for my mother and don't want to hurt her, I kept Nick and our true relationship from her.

When my mother left for work, I confronted Nick and warned him to keep away from her, but he refused, so I punched him as hard as I could. I was so enraged that I wanted to ruin Nick's reputation with my mother. I enraged Nick and challenge him to hit me too so that I can have evidence that he hit me and he did. But since it was all my plan to make him angry, I brought out the knife I was hiding and pointed it to him which made him ask me questions.

"Ivy, why are you acting in this way? Why did I offend you, exactly? I've already told you that I no longer like you and that I don't see a future with you." Nick enquired anxiously.

“Why? since I'm not my mom? You and your brother Jerry are identical! So fixated on my mom when I am the one taking care of your needs! I've had enough of the two of you!”

“What? Why do you say that? You know my brother? You are the one who jailed him, right?

“Yes! He was the one I jailed for destroying my life, using me, and hurting my feelings. You'll be the next in line because I was the one who put him in jail!”

He grabbed the knife from me and began punching me in the stomach as I tried to slash his face. We then began to harm each other, but I was determined to kill him because, yeah, I am a psychopath, and I would never let him win.

When my mother unexpectedly arrived at my house and saw us fighting, she intervened to break up the fight, but because I genuinely detested everyone for bothering me, I also attacked my mother and ordered her to stop.

I already started to cry and reached into the drawer where I had been hiding to get the gun. I directed it in the direction of them and Nick, which astonished my mother. I told her everything, including all the heartaches I had as a child and all the horrible events I had. I expressed to her my grudges and told her the truth.

I informed her that what happened with Jerry wasn't actually real and was simply made up. I told her the truth about how I destroyed their relationship and how I did it because I adore my mother. The truth is that I adore her not only as my daughter but also as my lover. Yes, I'm in love with my mother, and I've been envious of Jerry and Nick for taking her love and attention away from me. I never felt envious because I adored Jerry and Nick, but I did feel envious because I adored my mother and yearned for her to be mine.

I also let her know that the encounter I had with the Queenbies wasn't the actual event. like I was the one who damaged my appearance and made it appear like it was their fault because I overheard them making up stories about my mother and became irritated. I even admitted to her that I had only used seduction to get Jerry to want me since It wasn’t true that he had actually raped me; as a result, I planned to set him up.

Then, after hearing a gunshot and realizing that I had shut Nick while I was laughing, crying, and smiling, my mother collapses to the ground in tears. My mother remained on the floor in disbelief because she was unable to grasp what was happening. I then pulled out the kitchen towel to clean my fingerprints off the knife and gun before placing it next to Nick's body. I then grabbed the knife and struck myself with it. The police then rushed inside and discovered tragedy.

Because I know that mom would hate me to the core, I pointed her to the police and told them she did everything. I can't stop crying and sobbing as I see the cops handcuff and take my mother to the police car. She appears horrified by what has happened to our home and is unable to cover the tragedy-plagued look on her face. She gave me the saddest face when her eyes met mine and she shook her head in a hurting manner as if she wanted to tell me something that had upset her. As if she was trying to tell to the police that I am the real culprit and that she raised a Poison Ivy. Then I turned my back to her secretly grinning because I succeeded.

[aworldofyou]

In light of the recent personal I had to block let met explain something to you all very clearly. Just because I do not air it out here, does not mean that I, or the people around me, do not suffer. Okay. I have stories and I am used to things that it is occurring to me aren’t quite normal. I wasn’t going to talk about it but the recent Reservation Dogs episode had got me thinking, and you know what. Yeah I’m going to fucking talk about it and my experiences because I shouldn’t get a message saying ‘indigenous community doesn’t suffer police brutality because the media doesn’t talk about it.’, or see a blatant lack of attention on the fact that suicide ideation is a real big problem in the reservations.

tw/ gore mentions, because guess what it’s irl.

ffs, in 2008, my mom and my father figure witness a POLICE OFFICE intoxicated on duty run a high school girl over because he was angry she didn’t get in the car with him, and you know what. It ripped her legs off. The police stopped by our house and tried to smear dried paint on her car to make it look like she was the one who ran the girl over, yeah - we had to tell them to get the fuck away or we will defend ourselves. But guess what, this isn’t the first time that particular family - ancestors look after them, lost their daughter to police brutality because their oldest girl? A cops son ran her over in the early 2000′s, you know how I know? Because my cousin was in the car with him and he was passed out drunk, woke up and the guy was cleaning blood off his bumper - said he ran over a deer. Guess what tumblr, the guy ripped her entire chest cavity open and left her entrails along the road. Both of these men who killed these girls and young ladies were police officers? The paper work was lost, destroyed, and my mom was told to shut up and be quiet or they will do the same to her.

in 2010, my biological dad accused me of being a runaway - mind you he gave up his rights on the reservation and left but his friends are judges. So as I was leaving the store and going to my grandma’s house, a police officer who is friends with him pulled up and slammed me on my face right on my grandma’s porch and threw me in jail for three days. And guess what, they had to let me go BECAUSE THERE WAS NO CHARGE ON ME AND ME BEING THERE? NOT ON MY RECORD BECAUSE I WAS ILLEGALLY HELD .

In 2015, my best friend, who I loved entirely and completely, was walking to her grandmas house. And guess what, an inebriated jail guard hit her and threw her body 20 feet into the air, if her neck was broken on contact with all the broken bone the fucking 20 foot drop might have. And guess what, the charges? the fact the woman was on duty? never went to court. Paperwork was lost, my best friends obituary didn’t even make the paper.

IT IS A WIDELY KNOWN FACT HERE IF YOU ARE A POLICE OFFICER AND YOU KILL SOMEONE? NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. There are SO many instances where native people have disappeared because our own police officers make people and cases disappear.

Don’t even get me started on the suicide rates, in 2006, I had a classmate who hung herself in her closet. I felt so guilty because I hadn’t done enough to help her emotionally, but remember everyone we were in the SIXTH GRADE. SO how could I have known that the girl sitting across from me was struggling when I didn’t even know what suicide WAS back then. I will forever remember hearing the cops screaming on the scanner because they had never seen a kid so young take her own life.

In 2011, one of my classmate's cousins took her own life and she was discovered when her school bus driver drove by her house to pick her up. Him and the whole bus of kids.

Just a few weeks ago my other cousin tried to hang himself in his deceased dads basement. Just two weeks ago a 14 year old confided in me she went to treatment for hurting herself with a scissors.

I myself, have made attempts on my own life.

AND THIS ISN’T EVEN EVERYTHING.

We have countless cases of suicide here, just as well as we have constant cases of police murder and police brutality. There is corruption, there is pain, everywhere I look.

We. Suffer. Too.

 Don’t fucking talk to me about the ‘lack of suffering’ because you don’t see it in media or the fact that I don’t ‘seem to be that bad’ for fuck’s sake.

[rosieshipper]

Runaway

Summary: After Rose and Tony get into a fight and Tony says something he later regrets, Rose runs away later in the night

Rose let out a shout of frustration as she slammed her bedroom door shut. The 14 year old paced around her room, her face red hot with anger. She had just gotten into a heated argument with her father, Tony, over how Rose wanted to start going on missions. But Tony disagreed with her and told her that she was too young.

Rose only shot back saying how she had a year of training under her belt and would be perfectly capable of holding her own on a mission. But once again, Tony denied her. When Rose started to have an attitude with Tony, that’s when the real argument broke out. The two argued back and forth until Tony yelled something at her that stunned her into silence.

“Zip it, kid! I am the adult here and you are the child! And what I say goes! If you don’t like that, then leave!”

Rose couldn’t even believe what he was saying to her. Tony only ever called her “kid” when he was really pissed off at her. How could he say something like that? In that moment, Rose started to back off when she felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn’t want Tony to see her cry. “Fine, maybe I will.” She muttered disdainfully, a whimper slipping through her words before she ran off to her room.

Now back in Rose’s room, she had eventually stopped her angry pacing and collapsed on her bed in a fit of tears. Did her father really think that? The man that took her in and raised her thought that she should leave. After a few minutes of crying, Rose was starting to consider his words. Maybe he had grown tired of taking care of her and didn’t want to bother caring for her. Just like her biological father did. Eventually Rose decided that Tony probably meant his words and wanted her to leave. So she did just that.

At one point during the night when everyone was asleep, Rose opened her bedroom window and climbed out onto the fire escape. She climbed all the way down to the bottom of the tower before eventually making it onto the street. She started to walk down the street before stopping for a moment and looking back. A quiet whimper of sadness left her as she looked back at the place she once called home. Now, she was no longer welcome there. Turning back around, Rose headed down the street.

Meanwhile back inside the tower, Tony was wide awake. He hadn’t been able to sleep because the only thing he was thinking about was the argument he had with Rose. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he said to her. Of course, he didn’t mean it. It was completely in the heat of the moment and he didn’t mean a single word of it. And when he saw the look on Rose’s face after he said those words, it broke his heart. He didn’t talk to her for the rest of the day since he thought she might have needed space. But now it was the middle of the night and the guilt was eating him up. He had to apologize to her.

So at one point, Tony got out of bed and made his way to Rose’s bedroom. When he got there, he knocked quietly on the door. When he got no response, he assumed she was asleep so he cracked open the door to check on her. But when he looked inside, Tony’s blood ran cold. Rose’s bed was empty and her window was wide open. Tony’s heart sunk even more as he threw open the door and frantically looked around the room, calling out her name.

Eventually, he ran out of her room and started to head down to the garages. “Jarvis, tell me you know where Rose went.” He said as he rushed to the elevator as quickly as possible. “Already on it, Sir.” Jarvis responded as Tony moved down to the garages. Once down there, Tony quickly got into one of his cars and drove off into the street. “She couldn’t have gone far. Oh Rosie, please be safe.” Tony muttered to himself as he sped off down the street.

Meanwhile, Rose had been walking for about an hour when it started to pour down rain. Not wanting to keep on walking in the freezing rain, she eventually found an abandoned bus stop station and sat down on the bench. Her clothes were soaked and she was freezing to the bone. Rose curled up on herself to try and preserve her body heat and keep herself warm. Most of Rose’s brain was regretting the choice she made. All she wanted was to be back home in her nice warm bed. But would Tony even let her back in?

Rose’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she heard the sound of someone slamming on their breaks, the loud squeaking sound of the tires stopping making her cringe. But when she opened her eyes, Rose jumped when someone came running up to her and hugged her tightly. But after a few seconds, she recognized the person from their voice. “Oh Rose, thank god you’re ok!” It was Tony. He came looking for her after all.

Tony eventually pulled away to look her over. “Are you hurt? Munchkin, you’re freezing and soaked.” He said worriedly as he looked at her. “Come on, let’s get you home and in warmer clothes.” Rose was in absolute shock. Tony was so different from when he was yelling at her earlier that day. Suddenly, Rose started to tear up. “Y-You actually want me to come home?” She whispered as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Tony frowned sympathetically and gently cupped her cheeks in his hands, gingerly wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “Of course I do, Bug. I never wanted you to leave in the first place. I was so scared when I saw that you were gone.” Tony explained to her. At this point, Rose couldn’t even talk because she was crying so hard. This whole time, she believed that Tony didn’t love her anymore and wanted her to leave. But now she was so relieved that he wanted her to come home.

“Come on, let’s get you home, munchkin.” Tony murmured before picking her up and carrying her to the car. He set her carefully in the passenger seat, kissing her temple softly before going around and getting into the driver’s seat and driving home.

When the two of them got back, Rose took a warm shower while Tony prepared her some warm pjs. Once Rose was out of the shower and in her pjs, she walked into her bedroom where Tony was waiting for her on her bed. She slowly walked over and sat down next to him. There were a few awkward moments of silence before Tony eventually spoke up.

“Look, I wanna start off by saying I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I was angry and I didn’t mean a single word of it.” He told her softly. “I’m sorry too. I was being a huge brat and I kept pushing the subject.” Rose said as she pulled her knees to her chest. “You don’t have to apologize, Bug. You’re a kid. And kids always want to do bigger and better things. I should have realized that earlier. But I want you to know that missions are really dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Tony explained as he looked over at his daughter.

Rose just nodded slowly as she looked at the ground. “Hey, look at me.” Tony whispered as he reached over and lifted her chin with his finger. “One day, you’ll go on a mission. It may not be anytime soon, but it will happen one day.” He whispered softly to her. Rose nodded as she listened to him. “Thanks, Papa.” She whispered as she looked at him.

Tony smiled warmly before pulling her into a hug to which she gladly returned. “Now before we both go back to bed, I wanna see you smile so I know you’re good.” Tony said as he pulled away. Rose nodded and tried to give him her best smile but it was at least subpar. “Oh come on, I know you can do better than that. Guess I’ll have to bring out my secret weapon.” Tony said with a smirk.

Rose immediately knew what he was referring too and groaned. Tony was about to start telling his “famous” dad jokes. “You know, Rose, I’m reading this book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.” Tony said with a grin before laughing at his own joke. Rose almost face palmed at how corny the joke was but she couldn’t stop the small smile forming on her lips. “I got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.” This time Tony snorted at the unbelievably corny joke. Rose was struggling to keep her composure at this point. “Wait, wait, one more.” Tony wheezed. “What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.” At that point, Rose and Tony were both laughing hysterically with each other.

Eventually the two of them calmed down and Rose leaned her head against Tony’s shoulder. “Thanks for everything, Dad.” She hummed softly before yawning. “You’re welcome munchkin.” Tony smiled before kissing the top of her head. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He whispered softly before laying her down and covering her up with her blankets. “Goodnight munchkin. I love you.” Tony whispered before kissing her forehead. “Goodnight Papa, I love you too.” Rose whispered back before eventually drifting off to a peaceful sleep with a soft smile on her face

Tags: @astralshipper @aricka-and-her-fictional-others @frankiesselfship @cringyalienships @nougatships

[crestomanci]

Synopsis

             “The Lost Princess” follows the story of Nick Sullivan, a girl that finds out, on her sixteenth birthday, that she is the daughter of a queen and is summoned to ascend to the throne as the princess of Combellmont island. She initiates, then, a difficult and dangerous journey that could put not only her life at risk as everyone’s she loves.

Chapter 1

           What do I know about my mom? What a tough question. Besides all the biological processes I’ve learned in school, like genetics and stuff, I only know some physical characteristics: she was tall, the prettiest lady my father has ever known, and she smelled like mint. And that’s all I know because whenever I talked about her, my father always was already drunk and I needed to help him out and take him from his armchair to his bed.

           I’ve never tried to pressure him in order to get information, though, since he always looked so ashamed of himself the next morning and I didn’t want to make him feel sad… Or make me sad. After all, the feelings I’ve grown towards my mom were migrating between sadness and anger. How could someone leave their child with some guy she’d only met once and then never tries to keep in touch? Okay, I was lucky enough that my dad was a cool guy and took me in, but this doesn’t make her less guilty at all.

           I wonder if she ever wanted to know where her daughter could be for these past 15 years. If she has ever asked herself if I was okay, if I went to school, if my dad treated me nicely… Nothing? Then, after a while, I started to believe that she never loved me. That I was a mistake she made during a U2 concert after tons of beer and that I didn’t matter to her.

I got up from my bed and decided not to think about her. The less I knew, the less it would hurt, and today I was supposed to be happy, right? Because it was my sixteenth birthday. “Happy Birthday, Nick”, I said to myself. My dad was surely still asleep and I would only see him at night.

           “Oh, crap!” twenty minutes late meant that I was late to school and this would be my third time this month. I ran as fast as I could and was able to catch the bus. Luckly, the driver was George and he always stopped for me, even when I was running late.

           “Andy again, Nick?” he asked.

           I nodded, not wanting to talk about it. Third delay of the month… This would make me stay in school after class and then I would be late for work at Tiffany&Thommy, which would not please Miss Picket. Will “I’m so so sorry, but today is my birthday and everything is nuts” work as an excuse? No. Everyone in town knew me and my dad, so it was known that whenever I was late it was because of him.

           George offered me a little red box with a white bow wrapping it around and a tiny card. “Hey, you didn’t think I'd forget, did you?”

           “George, you shouldn’t have! Thanks” I thanked and my cheeks turned red while I was getting the present, in a mist of hurry and happiness (after all, I was already late and he had taken his time to hand in the present despite knowing everyone was waiting to carry on the trip!).

           “That’s nothing, Nick. Tomorrow, tell me if you liked it. Have a great day and a happy birthday!”

           I thanked again while I started to look for a seat. The real bus to Abeley High School was deactivated because no one used it. Most of the students didn’t need to use public transportation since they had their own cars or chauffeurs, and so every single day I had to take the only bus that drove all the way to my school, when, in reality, it dropped me off two blocks away.  After spending a whole life in Abeley, I was already used to it, but I wished - as if I was about to blow my birthday cake candles - this year I’d get a car. Or that at least my dad would accept that I should start to study at the school he now works at.

I got up when we were getting closer to the stop and hurried up while going down the stairs, and ran to school.

Yeah, I was definitely late. And obviously I had to face Mr. William, after going to the principal’s office. I smiled bluntly, and then tried to sneak into his class.

“Oh, Nicolle! I can’t believe someone hasn’t given you a clock yet. I mean, we have been starting the classes at the same time since 1864, and yet…”

           I heard my entire class smothering a laughter as I gave Mr. William the piece of paper that allowed me to take his class, which was prior given to me by the principal, and, then, I went to my desk.

           Today’s history class was about smaller islands and countries all over the world. Internally, I kept telling myself that there was no use to learning all of that, once we lived in a small city closer to New York, so that subject should have been self-explanatory to us and, even though Abeley should be a school for rich people, the greatest part of us, including me, would never travel abroad. Like ever. Let alone stepping on a small island somewhere that was probably built to make money from tourists. Whatever. Mr. William had already had his moment of glory today and I didn’t need a lecture anyways, so I decided to loosen my hair and put on my earphones again, as I kept pretending that I was paying attention.

           Everyone’s goal in Abeley was to get into an Ivy League and, for the unlucky ones like me, the ultimate goal was to get a scholarship or a way out of this town. It felt weird not knowing what to do or what I’d like to become, but when people ask me about what I would like to be when I grow up, I used to lie and say I’d like to become a lawyer. Knowing my dad’s behavior, it would make total sense and that was enough to get me out of that subject during conversations, after being told that I should “hang in there” in order to become what I used to say.

           The truth was that it would be enough if I turned eighteen and convinced my father that we should leave this town or state. To build a new life in which we weren’t pity case or a subject to gossip spreaders.

           Tiffany&Thommy was a library and bookstore two blocks away from my school. It used to be owned by two brothers who have lived here since the city was founded, and I was a part-timer there. After Mr. Thommy Picket’s death, his sister needed help and I offered myself, as I needed money because my dad’s salary as a Spanish teacher was not something we could brag about.

           I apologized for being late to Miss Picket and she (with her always pleasing humor) told me to find my computer and sit down before her nephew could find the cash register and steal everything they’ve made so far, like he did last month,

           “Good evening, Nick. Are you early again?” I hear Rupert saying with his annoying British accent. He was sitting on my chair, staring at me with his weird brown eyes and dark hair.

           “Yes, Rupert. And thank you for keeping my seat warm. Now you can go.” The best solution with him was to use irony and sarcasm. After all, wanting or not, he was the future owner of that store and his aunt wasn’t looking that good anyway.

           “I don’t know why my aunt keeps you here. Or why did she hire you in the first place.”

           “Your aunt knows me since I was born, we live in the same neighborhood and she trusts me.” I was as rough as possible and then started to browse through the record book on the decrepit computer.

           He kept there, looking at what I was doing, as he was laying on the counter. I waited until he left for five minutes, but I was never known for my patience.

           “So? Do you want a book or something?” I asked, trying to smile.

           “Not really.” he replied and kept staring at me. Then, he nodded and left.

           I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, while I watched him leave.

           On my way home, I decided to open the present given by George when I was already on the bus. It was a little pendant shaped like a heart. Those in which you can put a picture on both sides. I loved it. I’m going to choose a picture of me and my dad, I thought as I got off the bus.

The weather was terrible as always and the fog made me put on my hood. When I was close to my building, I saw a man wearing a suit leaving and getting in a luxury black car that was parked on the other side of the street. I had no idea someone in town had something to do with the White House, I thought, trying not to laugh as I passed by the lobby.

The elevator was, once again, being fixed and it would take at least forty-eight hours return, so I went up the stairs hearing some of my neighbors complaining about the elevator like that would fix it faster.

After finding my keys, I saw my dad sitting on his armchair that, this time, was facing the door. He looked more tired and sadder than usual and was holding a letter.

“Dad?” I called, leaving my backpack in the hall and getting closer to him.

“Oh, Nick, you’re here” he answered and I could see that his eyes looked swollen and red. He has cried. I sighed and looked at the table, but I didn’t see any beer bottles there.

“What happened?”

“I need to talk to you. And I ordered pizza, so you don’t need to cook today. Change your clothes and take a bath, I know you must be tired.”

“That’s okay, dad. I’m fine” I claimed, feeling a little bit afraid.

He didn’t say anything else, just stood up and went to his room. I kept staring at him while he closed the door.

Ordering pizza on my birthday was almost a habit, but the conversation part… I started to bite my upper lip and picked up my backpack on the floor, but refused to take a bath. I felt nervous and anxious and waited to hear if his bedroom door would open so that I could leave mine.

When I left, he was in the living room. He had opened and served himself with a pizza slice and soda. He looked a little better as he smiled, so I sat down.

“Happy birthday, kiddo.” It was all he said, giving me a sad smile. We started to eat after that.

After I finished, I felt like something bad was about to happen and I realized he was looking at me, God knows for how long, and that the letter he was previously holding was still there, in his hand. I stopped and looked at him, wanting to know for how long he would stare without saying anything.

A couple minutes had passed, but it felt like an eternity to me. Then, he finally started:

“Nick, did I talk about your mom yesterday?”

I took a deep breath and felt a little bit relieved to realize that it wasn’t something that important after all. I was used to that kind of conversation, even though it made me sad, since he usually stood up for her in the end.

“Yes, dad, but just the usual, you know, blond, tall, smelled like mint” I remembered while I was taking my dish and got up.

“Nicolle, sit down, please” he stared at me with his blue eyes and it looked like it was an order.

I had no idea what was going on, but if it was serious enough for my dad to boss me around…

“Okay.” I agreed, sitting down again.

He looked like he was trying to control himself so that he could continue his speech.

“Nick, you know your mom handed you in when you were only six months, right?” he asked and I nodded, leaning on the couch. “Child, what I have to say is serious and I need you to handle it until the very end.”

He paused. The pizza I ate started to move around in my stomach, bothering me.

“Your mom didn’t leave you here because she wanted to, but because she needed to keep you away from the place she lived in. She had to leave you here, with me, so that I could take care of you and make you a good person. When I met her, we spent the whole week together. She told me about her world and I realized it wasn’t easy. Our story wasn’t just a concert and a single night, and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner. Actually, I’m sorry about everything I have to tell you today… You can’t imagine how much it hurts to tell everything like this. But the point is: she loved you, as much as I do love you. And last week, I discovered that unfortunately your mom has passed away.” He told me with every strength he had, even though he let some tears roll down his cheeks, which he cleaned fast. Then, he took a box from the table, one I haven’t seen before, opened it and showed me everything that was inside.

“I thought that it wasn't a good idea to tell you, dear. You always seemed hurt about your mom, but, then, today I received a message and now I have no other choice but to tell you the truth. The man that came here earlier wanted to wait for you, but I begged him to let me speak with you first. I needed to tell you the whole story. You’ve probably already studied about Europe and must know that there are a lot of small countries there. Your mom lived in one of those countries. Actually, your mom ruled one of them. When I met her, she had just received a convocation to claim the throne of Combellmont and, like any 18-year-old girl, she wanted… An adventure before her real life began. Like in the romances she used to read.

“We met when I went to live in New York. She came on a trip, running away from her hotel, and we met in the middle of Central Park. It was love at first sight and we had the best week in the world. Nine days, to be exact, but she always needed to go back and sleep at the hotel, so I left her on the street corner so that the guard that escorted her would be aware of me. Until the last day, when her sister saw and denounced us. She was grounded after that and I got beaten up by her guards. And well, I thought I’d never see her again, so needless to say it was a surprise when she came back, fifteen months later, knocking on my old Brooklyn apartment with you in her arms. She asked me to take care of you, keeping you safe and sound, away from her world. She asked me to give you a normal life until the day she would come back and explain everything. That she would do it once you turned 18… I wished she had time to do that…

“Ever since, I could only watch you grow and kept collecting everything that I saw about her. Her marriage with an ambassador that was twice her age, her coronation as queen, the birth to her first child for the media, the death of her husband and, most recently, her own death, not long after giving birth to her second child. Oh, Nick, I would have loved to tell you all of this at the right time, but it so happens that you need to know it now. This afternoon, your mom’s kingdom counselor came in and brought this letter to you. You see: with her death, it would be pleasing if her oldest royal child ascended to the throne, but she’s only a kid! And as you are, in fact, the oldest of them all… They demand you there for some kind of training. And, being crystal clear: you are obligated to do this, or they will appeal to judicial measures to make you do it anyway. They can even take you by force, Nick.”            After hearing all of that, I ran to the bathroom. My head was spinning, my face was wet with sweat and tears, and I wanted to throw up every slice of pizza I ate. My dad didn’t even dare to chase me, he just let me go.

I was overwhelmed, to say the least. My head was exploding with the wave of information I’ve received and I’ve never been so shocked in my entire life. I don’t know how long I’ve stayed there, hiding, puking, crying. I was hugging my knees against my chest, just hearing my heartbeats. How come my life turned upside down in less than one hour? My mom, a queen. Country, children, baby, my dad, kingdom… Those words were spinning in my head and making me dizzy. How come my father hid everything from me? How come my mom found it better that way? And, mainly, what was I supposed to do now? I had no clue how someone could actually obligate me to do something, after all, besides taking care of my father and the house, I’ve never had to lead, or been a leader.

https://www.inkitt.com/stories/romance/748079?utm_source=shared_web 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/274223573-the-lost-princess 

[knock-off-krolmeister]

Things I observed binge watching Spongebob:

- Everyone seems to forget a literal god and king of the sea, Neptune/Poseidon, wanted Spongebob to cook for him. Spongebob is worthy of going to Olympus.

- Greek gods, or at least a Greek god, is a part of their life. It's unsure whether or not they worship Neptune.

- Squidward used to have blonde hair.

- The Krusty Krab is confirmed closed Sundays except during the few 24 hour all nighter episodes.

- Sometimes Squidward is working when Spongebob isn't, and vice versa. Unless they're technically part time employees, I think we can infer the Krusty Krab is open on Saturdays as well and that it's a trade off sometime during the week when one of them is working. Makes sense from a business standpoint, of which Krabs is very much oriented, though he's been in trouble with unions for overworking his employees. EDIT: Confirmed, watched Squidward walk past in uniform while Spongebob was at home all day. Unless they work split shifts, which I don't think they do.

- The Krusty Krab employees work from 7 AM to 8 PM. That's a 13 hour day, often with no breaks cause Krabs is a slave driver. EDIT: One episode they clock in at 9. This may be a consistency error on the writers part, making the boys' day an 11 hour one rather than a 13 hour one.

- Despite his slave driving tendencies, Krabs isn't apparently too much of a hardass, cause Squidward is reading whenever they're slow, and Patrick and Spongebob will play boardgames at the tables if Spongebob doesn't have anything to do.

- Krabs seems to be out and about in the restaurant more often in those episodes, possibly working the kitchen (though apparently he's actually a garbage cook according to himself). EDIT: Confirmed in Season 5, Krabs does the cooking when Spongebob isn't there.

- Krabs is likely in his 50s.

- Family owned businesses are rare in Bikini Bottom. Plankton and Krabs are some of the few Mom and Pop stores left. A corporate conglomerate has bought out the rest.

- Plankton went out of his way to get a computer wife who degrades him. Quite literally stole her on their third date.

- Krabs and Squidward, in their very twisted ways, care about Spongebob very much.

- Gary and Patrick are biological cousins and Gary is royalty.

- Krabs has mixes feelings about mammals. He is insulting to Sandy about being a mammal, but was the one responsible for teaching Pearl to breach. It can also be inferred Pearl's mom died giving birth to Pearl or similar complications, else she would have been teaching Pearl to breach since Pearl would have needed to do so upon birth.

- Only noticed in my twenties that all the homes in Bikini Bottom are boat mufflers and the Krusty Krab a lobster trap. This is likely meant to be more cute/entertaining on Hilbergs part than anything else, but as he was a marine biologist himself, it's likely it could have also been a comment on ocean littering. It likely doesn't cost much to build your own home in BB if you can use derelict.

-Every week Spongebob and Patrick have a falling out and threaten to leave Bikini Bottom to avoid the other. The bus driver for the route they live on comes to expect the falling out every week and tells folks not to cheer for their reunification because it happens all the time. That's one hella messed up relationship they have for two people purported to be best friends.

- Spongebob and Squidward get paid in nickels. Per day. A can of soup at their grocery store is about $1.58. I don't know how they afford their homes, unless there's zero land tax and homes are technically free because everyone is using debris. Sandy likely has the most expensive home in BB given that it's made by an actual company owned by three monkeys with doctorates and money.

- Every other episode the KK has no customers. It's one of the few food establishments in BB, so I doubt folks are eating out elsewhere. I wonder of folks only really eat there on pay day weeks.

- Krabs was unbelievably poor as a kid, with only his mom and occasional help from Old Man Jenkins. He was also good friends with Plankton, whom he stood up for in school. This explains both why Plankton and Krabs work so well together in past episodes, as well as a reasonable origin story for why Krabs is a penny pincher. EDIT: Krabs does mention his dad once, saying his father gave him a single dollar, to which Krabs became super attached and treated like a best friend, possibly because it was the only thing his dad ever gave him, and potentially is another ready why he and his mom had very little growing up and he became a miser.

- Spongebob has more self respect in the earlier episodes, but doesn't seem to have as much in later episodes. A former fry cook of the KK believes Spongebob has an incredible future ahead of him, but only if he comes to respect himself enough to leave Krabs for not paying his employees enough for the work they do. Given that Spongebob is worthy of living on Mount Olympus, this isn't surprising.

[murderdaddymayhem]

One Of The Clan - Otis Driftwood x Male Reader

 Synopsis: Otis comes out to the Firefly Family and tells them you're his boyfriend.

(Because who cares that they're a gross murder family, they're also really sweet with each other and super supportive so this is totally a thing, thanks)

Wanted to write more Otis x Male Reader for all you guys out there so here you go!! A cute emotional support fluff piece!!!!! (Also be warned there's like one mild slur but no homophobia or anything cause this fic is happiness only zone)

"How are you feeling?" you ask Otis, squeezing his hand. He looks over to you, sulking. 

"Like a million fuckin' bucks, thanks for asking." 

You shove him playfully, which turns into a dunking match. You finally see a smile clear up Otis' face, but it quickly disappears when he remembers what he's about to do. 

Otis met you about a year ago, at a bar somewhere outside town. He had quickly discovered that you were different from other people in the area, just like him, and instead of taking you back to the house to Chik-Fil-A you, he ended up kinda... sorta... liking you. 

You two had talked for hours, and he had felt more and more attracted to not only your appearance, but your personality. Otis was very selective about who he gave his time to, and you just turned out to be his favorite person to be around. Otis had brought you around the house a few times, and after a good few months of walking in on some form of anarchy, you had been accepted as a good friend of the family's. 

Of course there was one thing that presented itself as an obstacle (at least for Otis). He was adamant that guys just didn't do things like this around here, that if anybody saw you two together, god forbid in public, you'd be strung up on Dr. Satan's hanging tree. You had insisted you cared for him enough to brave all that, and he cared for you too, so you had kept your relationship under wraps. 

Until now. 

Otis had said something the other day to you on one of your long drives together in your pickup. (It was a favorite date activity of the two of you, other than coming along for a night of murder and mayhem, to drive for hours out into the Texan desert listening to old 70s music, philosophizing, and talking about life.) 

"What if my family doesn't want me around anymore if I tell em?"

You had turned off the engine, and sat there in the middle of the dusty plain, Gerry Rafferty's Right Down The Line playing on your beat up old car radio. 

"Tell them what?"

Otis had sat there for a long time. "Y'know, about... this whole thing." You had waited expectantly for him to elaborate, since your talk about using words. Otis had huffed, rolling his eyes. "Us, okay! The two of us." 

"I'm fairly certain that your family, who regularly chases people around in bunny onesies and holds ceremonial funerals for fun, wouldn't much care who you date or fuck."

Otis throws his head back against the seat. "Yeah but shit, this is different! They let me in, gave me a name I'm proud of, gave me a home. My own biological father used to beat me, call me less than shit, and all for..." He gestured to you and him. "For bein' me, I guess."

"It's fucked up," you say softly, taking his hand. 

"Yeah, you got that fuckin' right handsome." He had wiped his eyes. "And them back home... hell. It'd be close to testing their kindness to tell them I'm a queer at this point."

A silence enveloped you both as you switched the radio off.

"Why don't you try?" 

"They don't gotta know," Otis snapped, then looked at you, apology clearly written in his eyes. You had just nodded, used to his hurried responses. 

"What I mean is... if you're ready... you might feel better finding out if they really are there for you." 

He had looked at you, and you took off your shirt, handing it to him to dry his eyes. He used it, and tossed it back to you in a ball. You had laughed, and he had climbed on top of you in the driver's seat, sticking his knife in the seat recliner to make it flop down. 

"Mmf," you had complained, his lips smothering yours, "Thanks for breaking my seat." 

"Ain't nothing but nothing."

"Bu--"

"RJ can fix it," he had replied, before reaching down to your jeans. 

Now, four days after that night, he decided he was ready.

Mostly. 

Somewhat.

"You know, you don't have to do it today if you're not ready," you reassure him, but he takes your hand, grasping it tightly. 

"Damn it all to hell if I haven't spent all morning working myself up to this. I'm not lettin' that go to waste." 

With his usual headstrong determination, he walks through the front door of the house, past Baby's burnt doll collection. He walks on into the living room, where Mama's on the couch watching some show with Baby, Spaulding is in the kitchen, and Tiny is carving a pumpkin at the table.

"Otis, I love you honey, but get the hell outta the way," Mama says sweetly, "Svengoolie's on." 

"Fuck Svengoolie," Otis responds, and Tiny looks up from his work at the table, unsettled. Otis holds up a reassuring hand to him, and Baby finally looks away from the TV.

"Brought your friend?" She lets out a giggle, and waves to you. You haven't told Otis, but you're convinced Baby knows about you two already. 

"I've... got an announcement to make." Otis shifts around from foot to foot, still holding your hand. Seeing that Otis is serious, (and that he's holding your hand) Mama turns off the TV. 

"Who turned off the god damn television? I was watching that," Spaulding comes walking out of the kitchen, scratching his back with a wooden cooking spoon. "Oh. Hiya, you two." He scratches his head with the spoon, raising his painted clown eyebrows when he notices Otis has now got your hand in a deathgrip. "Somethin' we oughtta know, or can we keep watching the show?"

"Daddy, Otis is in love," Baby coos. 

"Hush now, angel, let Otis have his moment," Mama hushes, "Go on now, hun, tell us." Otis gives Baby the finger angrily. Baby sticks her tongue out at him in turn, and you shake your head. 

"(y/n) and I... are..." He clears his throat about five times, and RJ comes in the door, making a racket.

"RJ, shut the door, Otis wants to tell us something real interesting!" Baby says. RJ frowns, looking over, and Otis rolls his eyes, trying to get back on track.

"We're..." Everyone in the room is hanging on the edge of their seat in anticipation. Even Tiny is sitting forward expectantly. "We're...."

"You're what? Spit it out boy, haven't got all day to listen to you goin' 'we're... we're...' like some kinda yokel fuckin idiot," Spaulding calls.

"Yeah!" Baby yells. Tiny nods. 

"We're together, you impatient assholes!!" Otis blurts, holding you close to him, "This guy here. And me. We're together."

"Well, we can see you're--" Mama starts, then she has an epiphany. "OH! Oh my goodness..."

Everyone is quiet for a moment. Spaulding takes a deep breath, and drops the spoon. "I, uh..." he murmurs, "I'll be in the shop." Everyone waits, listening to him peel out of the yard in his car, and Mama waves a hand his way. Then she starts clapping.

"Oh, honey!!"

"I knew you swung different ways, big bro," Baby grins, jumping up and prancing around him, "But it's real swell that ya opened up that big mouth of yours and told us!" Tiny comes over and nearly crushes you and Otis together in a hug. Otis coughs a few times, and swats at him. RJ walks over, smiles a little (the most you'd ever seen him do so) and slaps you both on the back so hard it sends you stumbling. Then he leaves out back, off to do whatever the fuck he does. 

"You guys... don't mind?" Otis asks, and you smile his way. 

"Mind?! What the hell've we gotta mind about, you two are in loooove!" Mama shrieks. She gives you a huge hug and pinches your cheek. "Love is a beautiful thing that must be celebrated, no matter who it is between."

"Hey you must be real talented off your feet to net this one, if you know what I mean sugar," Baby says to you, and you blush as Otis glares. 

"Cut it out." 

"You cut it out!" 

"Fuck you!" 

"Fuck you!" 

You clear your throat, and Otis takes his place beside you again. 

"And... what about Cutter?" Your boyfriend's voice wavers a little, and he probably hates himself for it. Spaulding is like a dad to him, even if the two are rarely on speaking terms. 

"Don't know why daddy left," Baby shrugs. "Seems fucking weird."

"Don't pay no nevermind to that old clown," Mama huffs, "Actually-- you know what? I say we eat the dinner he cooked, then go out and pay him a visit, see just where his head's at. That ain't like him to just up'n leave like that."

"No, I--"

"Come on y'all, we's having a banquet then we’s goin' to the gas station!"

So, after a very nice dinner, everyone piles into the family car. You have to sit on Otis' lap to fit, which is okay with you and okay with him. Once you get to the gas station, Mama stomps out, ready to tear Spaulding a new one... but instead, she gasps.

"Oh, it's so bea-utiful!"

"Jesus Christ, woman, I wasn't even done," Spaulding comes out, complaining. Your face lights up as Otis' jaw hangs open. Tiny grins, and Baby squeals as you all gather around the shop that now has rainbow flags adorning everything. 

"Oh my god," you whisper, chuckling, and Otis turns around, face red. He walks right back to the car and goes to get in, but everyone drags him back out. 

"What do ya think?" the clown beams, "I'd say I outdid myself." He pulls the string on his skull bowtie, and goes "yaiyaiyaiyai." 

"It's amazing," you tell him, "Thanks, Cap." He puts a hand on your shoulder.

"This is an event, son! This is a cause for goddamn celebration, ain't no way I'm gonna miss it." He turns to Otis. "Now I called Charlie, he's gonna bring the girls and the good shit then we're all gonna have a big party tonight." 

"Aw shitfire," Otis mutters. Spaulding's eyes widen. 

"I dare you to complain! You got no idea how hard it was to reach the ass-backwards fucker, let alone find all this multi-coloured bullcrap in rural Texas to build a shrine for your homo ass!" 

"You didn't fuckin' have to, Cutter, I didn't specifically request you throw me a big fuckin' gay bash!"

"You-- shut the fuck up. Charlie's comin'."  

"I hate Charlie, that fuckin' nutsack." 

"Well he hates you too, but that's just cause you're an asshole."

"Not wrong," Baby hisses, dodging Otis' swipe. You nudge him. 

"Your family's happy for you. This is better than what you were imagining would happen," you whisper to him, and he sighs, giving you one of those deep looks you know so well that conveys everything he's feeling to you without words. He hates attention, but deep down you know he loves feeling appreciated-- you know that from your own relationship experience with him. 

A cop car suddenly comes driving by, and the window rolls down. You always get worried when that happens, but the others are used to it. Otis takes a few steps in front of you, protectively, and holds your hand. 

"Hi there, folks," Wydell says, tipping his hat, "Just asking people in the area if they've seen a missing g--" 

"Sheriff Wydell, you miserable motherfucker, GUESS WHAT?! " Spaulding yells, "My son got himself a BOYFRIEND! The anti social one?! Roped in this one right here, ain't he a looker?!" Mama nods excitedly, waving one of the little rainbow flags and pointing at you. The Sheriff awkwardly frowns, and nods slowly, noticing all the rainbow paraphernalia around the station. 

"That's... real nice. Y-You folks... have a nice day, then..." 

"Holy shit," Otis whines, wishing he could crawl underground to the family catacombs, and you kiss him on the cheek happily. 

"Here," Spaulding starts passing greasy paper bags around to everyone. "Tasty fried chicken for everyone to get this shindig going!" 

"Alright, fuck yeah," Baby giggles, and goes to dig inside for some booze as well. 

"Your chicken is fucking disgusting," Otis mutters, handing his extra bag to Tiny, though he can't help but smile a little. Spaulding gets right in his face with a pointed finger. 

"Boy, I'mma let you get away with your ass today, cause you're finally OUT OF THE CLOSET!" 

"Announce it to the whole state of Texas, why don't you old man?" Otis retorts, hiding deeper in his plaid sweater. You have to laugh. Tiny joins in, grabbing a rainbow party blower and deafening everyone. He then picks you up and puts you on his shoulders, and starts dancing, poking Otis to join in. 

"Oh, I... okay, stoppit, all of you, I just... alright, enough! Tiny, stop!"

"Ohh, but this is so exciting, baby!" Mama grins, trailing her flowy dress around. 

"Hell yeah!" Baby calls from inside, coming out with armfuls of beer, "My brother's got himself a pretty boy, let's get fucked up and do fucked up shit!"

Tiny plops a rainbow party hat on top of Otis' head, and your boyfriend sighs. 

"You know at this point, I would've preferred you kicked me out of the family or something."

"We'd never do that to ya, big bro," Baby smiles, leaning on his shoulder, "You're one of us." She turns to you. "And now it looks like you are too, (y/n)." 

Otis looks at you in irritation. "Lucky for you, babe." 

"I actually think I am pretty lucky," you smile, and embrace a big Firefly Family hug.  

[mikhaelkosanik]

Chapter 2 (google translate)

Autumn day played with its faded colors. Smears of colorful leaves, the gray sky hiding the sun, the smell of dampness in the air - all this accompanied me in my expectation.

Ahead there was a mesh of fence, blocking the sleepers from the adjacent territory and the city, and several roofs of warehouses and shops. Behind all the same, separated by a fence stood spreading massive trees. Their wet foliage played with bright yellow, red and brown colors. I stood on the platform of the station, trying to hide under a visor between two dusty lamps and a sign with the inscription "Brumaltown" hanging from it. Another cigarette smoldered in my hands, dispersing the bluish smoke. I smoked when I was nervous.

A chilly day, filling my gut with chill, made me look for ways to keep warm. I wrapped myself in a raincoat, but only the smoke from the cigarette warmed, striking my nose with the smell of tobacco. Though now my bad habit came in handy. And still it was worth throwing the cigarette out faster until a guard or controller passed by, ready to write a fine for smoking in the wrong place. Well, the platform was empty waiting for the train.

When I finished smoking, I peevishly looked around - if anyone was coming - and quickly threw the goby onto the rails.

“Uh, they didn’t notice,” I breathed with relief. I did not want to pay a fine of one hundred dollars.

This year, my family came together for the first time in a long time. Eunice, the youngest of the four, came last. This exciting event made me go to meet such a rare guest in these parts.

The train arrived a few minutes late, which gave me the opportunity to think a little about my problems. For the past week, protecting family values ​​has demanded a report from me. But I was not in a hurry, making it clear: even without this paper work, it’s full of business. The deadlines were running out every day, and on top of the documents they demanded more and more insistently. There was no way to deal with the faceless bureaucratic machine, and I just pretended to be extremely busy. In any case, all these pieces of paper did not concern me much. My job is counseling. And above it knew no worse than me.

Finally, in the distance, the nose of the train appeared, looming with the warm yellowish light of the headlights. Usually at such times the fog was shrouded all around, but, fortunately, the air was crystal clear, making it possible to enjoy the autumn before the rains came to these parts. I sighed, understanding what tonight would be.

“It's good that I was able to come. Without her, there would have been a real nightmare, ”I thought, looking at the incoming train.

The train stopped with a loud clang, opening its doors. It seemed completely alien to this place: massive, angular, with a huge bell between the tiny windows of the driver's cab. A muffled sound came from the car, informing passengers of the name of the station.

Unlike the old wooden station, whose floorboards creaked, the gigantic violet-orange color with the railway symbol looked new. And even though the composition was covered with dust, and the train itself looked like a tin can in places with relief and inserts made of ordinary metal, where corrosion showed through the paint, this did not at all plead its novelty, regarding the kind of wooden platform.

As soon as the doors opened, people began to hurry out of the cars. Among them were locals who returned from work and tourists who wanted to see the town about which there were legends. In this small mosaic I caught my eye with a familiar figure.

“I don't have to meet, Leo!” Eunice said displeasedly, coming up to me. - I have not been a little girl for a long time!

Despite the discontent, the sight of the sister said otherwise. She was clearly happy about the care on my part. As soon as Eunice came up, I immediately smelled a strong smell of perfume. Apparently, she wanted to hide behind him the fatigue from the trip and the excitement with which she was waiting for a meeting. I did not dare to criticize this suffocating and tasteless smell. Noting that the sister was off the road, and wrinkles and swelling were spread under her eyes with a treacherous net, I quickly waved my hand:

- Come on. Everyone is waiting for us.

We went down the wooden stairs, which sounded like a subtle creak, and passed several shops.

The railway passed behind them, circling the poorest district of the city. Not surprisingly: the city was located quite far from major highways and highways. The lion's share of supplies - what was earlier, what is now - was made by train. That's why the station was rebuilt in the industrial zone during the reconstruction of the city.

Once in the old car, we headed towards the parental home. Our area, located in the northeast, was considered prestigious. Far enough from here. The path came through the whole town. As I drove away from the station, I noticed nostalgia in the eyes of my younger sister. Eunice almost never visited Brumaltown, living with her family on the other side of the country. Her income was low, and she could not always come to such family gatherings, often limiting herself to calls once or twice a week. Moreover, albeit a small, but still “family” demanded a lot of strength from her sister.

Eunice sometimes could not cope with her wayward and lively daughter, which only added to her problems. Noisy, mischievous, as if in her uncle and aunt, Poppy was at times ugly at school, organized pranks, sometimes very offensive, and even frustrated her lessons a couple of times. No exhortations worked, and Eunice at times simply looked at her daughter’s actions through her fingers.

Poppy's father almost did not participate in raising his daughter, preferring work to family. Eunice justified this with expensive housing and high expenses, but I understood that this was not entirely true.

No, I do not argue, Noel loved Eunice, but over the years this love began to turn into a routine for both. In their relationship, the former spark went out. As a result, the whole household and daughter rested on her sister's shoulders. It is sad that from this her talents were wasted. She is, after all, an equally capable psychologist, as father used to say. But I was not FVP and did not want to interfere in her life.

The trip to the parents' house also turned out to be long and exhausting: fly by plane, and then transfer to the train. For everything - about six hours. Here Eunice appeared extremely rarely in her native land.

While we were driving, I myself involuntarily recalled the history of this place, which has become home for our family. I remember how we moved here during the restoration.

As far as I remember, the town of Brumaltown has never been large. Formed around a woodworking factory at the beginning of the century, he could hardly boast of city status in those years. The population at that time was from the strength of two thousand people, and all of them were workers of this very factory, and even their families, who were not afraid to move to the wilderness. Before the war, almost no one knew about this town. Even the names did not bother to come up with.

When the world plunged into bloody strife, the invaders from the south did not attach much importance to the small settlement of a dozen tiny shack houses and only destroyed the factory, having stolen everything of value that they could find in it. Compared to the capital and major cities, where after the armistice almost every building had to be rebuilt from scratch, the town of Brumaltown looked quite decent. This was written on the pages of textbooks and remembered during the celebration of McKirby Day.

When the war came to an end, the town was completely empty: the destroyed nature has now become very valuable, and all the states that have survived in the least have been equated with nature reserves. From that moment on, it was forbidden by law to use more than ten percent of natural resources per year. Here the factory bent, not getting a chance for a new life. Local, devoid of a single income, then willingly left their houses in search of a better life. But before the war ended, a new disaster came: the period of overpopulation of large cities came. The war, together with the fuel crisis, did their job and turned the great country into two bits with empty and contaminated lands in the center.

The migration of survivors of dead lands destroyed by biological weapons has increased population density to unimaginable limits. The stuffy, dusty megacities have become shelters for hundreds of thousands of afflicted. This led to a lack of housing and work. Consider the new Great Depression. It was then that many towns that had sunk into oblivion began to be remembered and re-populated.

So this town again found its inhabitants. Because of the cold winters, he was dubbed Brumaltown. I think it is justified. Unlike the capital, the town is far enough from the bay, and the climate here is much cooler and harsher. And if you take into account that the chilly wet air from the bay still reached, the winters here were felt very cold and snowy.

Since the rebirth, the town has grown. There was also public transport. Although the language didn’t turn out to be called developed: the bus route, and the three-lane railway station with a branch from one to the shipping docks of the shops — that’s all public transport. No airport, no taxi, no tram or metro.

The town was very small. If you wish, you can walk around it in a couple of hours. Therefore, no one saw the point in the dominance of transport.

I found those times when Brumaltown was not yet located on every map, and the inhabitants deceived that they lived in larger neighboring cities. True, then the population hardly exceeded 5-6 thousand people. Now in the town there were about 25 thousand inhabitants.

The town was obliged by the last round of popularity to the history of the Grasse family. I was then a very young child, so I could not track the development of this story. I could hardly then predict how the story of one girl would change the whole world.

Emma's notes, released a couple of years after moving to Brumaltown, influenced all orders in society, forcing a number of laws and conventions to be adopted. The fact that they had not advertised before, became unpleasant, but officially recognized: there is the Mehoni virus, it cannot be cured, and there is no getting around it. These diseases and the diaries of Emma stirred up the whole world and left no one indifferent!

After the scandal with the publication of records, society in many countries can only accept the fact that 8% of women in the world are sick with the Mehoni virus, which causes autoimmune necrosis.

Gradually, very scarce information about the virus and the history of Emma herself began to exaggerate in society, which allowed the inhabitants to put up with a constant number of patients. Emma lived the rest of her life in Brumaltown. She did not like to talk about where she lived with her family, wanting to spend the rest of the days alone. But rumors about Brumaltown still went around the country, glorifying the town at the level of local folklore.

There were also enough sights here: the Grasse family house, which became a museum, a small planetarium, and a monument to the same soldier McKirby. But rare tourists annually visited to look at the "town from the story of Emma."

Someone came from other countries to satisfy their curiosity: is the town really so terrible as it was sometimes described in urban legends by residents of larger neighboring cities. But there were far fewer foreign tourists compared to the inhabitants of the Northern States or Dixieland.

“How's Poppy doing?” I asked, remembering the lively and mischievous niece.

“Good,” Eunice smiled, continuing to look out the window.

The landscapes of childhood flashed before her eyes. The central square, small streets and low houses with a maximum of five floors evoked fond memories of Eunice, although she rarely visited the town. Her childhood passed here, and she appreciated this mischievous and fun time. Now he cannot be returned; years have taken their toll. They, like sand in a watch, flowed away, changing everything: only smiling smiling good eyes the color of moonlight reminded of a little brisk girl, and freckles scattered from cheek to cheek, framing red faces with their red stars, like a pink sky.

And yet, sometimes, the sister wanted, as before, to run along the old paths in the park, walk through the shops, and eat ice cream in her favorite cafe. It is a pity that this did not work: instead of a cute girl, a tired adult woman with her problems and concerns looked at Eunice from the reflection in the glass.

- Already in the fifth grade I went. She says she likes it, ”continued Eunice, not looking up from contemplating the view from the window. - So far, it’s not a hooligan.

In the meantime, I was thinking about the upcoming meeting. It was lonely, because only two such gatherings in the parental home I did not come alone. The younger ones, on the contrary, always came with their families, pouring salt into my wound.

The only consolation now: Eunice, too, this time alone. And the younger sister is very close to me. She is closer to me than the twins. Eunice understood a lot and often helped in difficult situations. It somehow brightened the upcoming evening. I even smiled sadly: "Only after becoming a widow do you begin to appreciate scandals."

Having arrived at a small two-story house at the very beginning of the street and parked at the sidewalk that separated the lawn from the road, I already wanted to help my sister with my luggage, when my cell phone rang.

  - Good afternoon, are you Leo Berdnik? Asked a trembling male voice on the other end.

“Yes, I am listening to you,” I answered a little cautiously, having seen earlier that the call was from an unfamiliar number.

“They gave me your phone at the Everplace Hospital.” They said that you specialize in difficult cases with foster children and children under guardianship. That you are one of the few psychologists who take difficult cases with “pink” families, - the person who addressed was nervous. This made him speak very fast. Almost chattering. And I had to concentrate and listen very carefully so as not to miss anything from what was said.

“Let's meet in my office tomorrow,” I suggested, realizing that I could hardly help on the phone. Yes, and the very combination of the “pink” family inspired a lot of unpleasant memories. “Please write down my address.” When I finished dictating and hung up, I got out of the car.

There was nothing to help: Eunice quickly picked up a small suitcase on wheels from the trunk and ran into the house. Most likely, she was already embracing with her stepmother and father, enthusiastically talking about her household.

Sighing, I took out a cigarette again. The stepmother was against smoking in the house - so I have to do it nearby. While smoking, I decided to look around: a lot of houses were empty this year. This was indicated by tablets on the lawns with the inscriptions: "For sale." Well, yes, the children grew up, they need to be taught for something. Yes, and there is little work. If you want a lot of money, either ride to larger cities, or moderate your appetite.

The area was considered prestigious, located quite far from the industrial zone, but not so far from the center of the town. The houses here have always been famous for their comfort and spaciousness. Except for one, on the outskirts, they sold easily and found their customers at any time. A lot of neighbors were replaced in my memory. Families, although they valued this town, often settled here only while the children were growing. Over the past twenty years, the situation with overpopulation of cities has returned to normal, and the small outback was of much less interest to young people than large cities in the east or west of the country.

Of course, there were those who remained, living their years in the shadow of sprawling massive trees and surrounded by hedges. The silence of the town, its small size liked the old-timers, and savings or third-party incomes allowed these people to not cling so eagerly to work. There were those who returned after school. But for the most part they preferred the center with its cheap apartments. Yes, and I knew a little. Mostly young people left the town to study in college, and then did not return. Parents also left for them in search of new hobbies and new life goals.

The dank day did not want to end, which is why the cigarette smoldered slowly in my hand. This allowed to peer deep into the street for a long time with its yellow-green colors of autumn, which bright spots and drops diluted the gray background of the clouds. When the decayed and finally damp cigarette butt was thrown aside, it was time for me to go to my parents' house. I tried to get in as quietly as possible, but it didn’t work, and I was immediately greeted by the rumble of voices and the smell of food. As soon as I crossed the threshold of my parents' home, I immediately became the center of attention of my three nephews. They liked to communicate with me, because, unlike my parents, I did not condemn them and tried to help if they shared problems with me. I tried to smile so that the children would not see my confusion and longing that autumn evening. My nightmare began slowly.

***

The evening was lively. All the guests had fun talking, Eunice and Jay helped the stepmother set the table and cook dinner. Father told his grandchildren stories about his turbulent youth, and then we all laughed together, recalling various funny cases from our childhood. As I expected, Johan and his twin sister Jay came here with their families.

This half-brother this time brought his weather boys and his wife Lulu, and his sister took only the youngest daughter Sammy, who recently turned three years old. There was nothing surprising in this: the parental house could accommodate a very limited number of guests.

I was always surprised that the children of Johan inherited blond hair from him, while Lulu, his wife, was dark and rather dark. Most likely, in her family there were immigrants from Mexico, but I'm not sure about that. But the kids Jay went to their father with their bright red curls, because their mother had a completely faded, "mouse" hair color. But that only concerned hair. Surprisingly, if Johan’s children went to mother with facial features, taking only hair from their father, then Jay’s children, on the contrary, only inherited hair from their father, the rest was taken from their mother. “Well, castling!” I thought, looking at my nephews.

“Why didn't you bring the rest?” - Johan was very surprised at the sister’s decision to take only the youngest daughter. “You usually dragged the whole family.”

“Brought it if some had not cut off and brought all their horde!” - parried Jay, poking at his brother with a finger with a bright manicure.

Boy Jay, whom I remembered with eternal bruises and a band-aid on her nose, was now a well-groomed and beautiful woman. Yes, she did not look like a mother, unlike her brother, but she more than compensated for her appearance with character. So quarrelsome and restless. And yet this couple had something in common ...

After school, the brother and sister left, creating their own families and preferring to see each other only at such family gatherings. Why they did this, I did not know. In childhood, the two were very close. Literally everything was done together. Maybe Johan was tired of his sister’s eternal commands? Or maybe he just got bored with a maturing Jay over the years?

“Where am I?” - immediately grumbled brother. - Every year we come here. - Johan inherited from his stepmother blonde hair, the same dark eyes and nose, the tip of which bent down. My brother had to work hard to provide for his family. This was reflected in his character - from a bully he turned into a calm guy.

- Yes? - the sister did not let up, clasping her sides with her hands. - Last year I was only with my wife, the year before last ...

The twins, unlike Eunice, came every year, shaking the parental house with quarrels or noisy gatherings. Jay herself sometimes visited her parents, but she alone was quite quiet and even tolerable. Affected work in a bookstore.

- I also remembered! - Johan interrupted, glowing. - You would still remember how I stole candy from you in three years.

- By itself! - laughed Jay. - Drive my candy!

For a word, she did not climb into her pocket, and a good memory only helped her in a variety of squabbles. It is simply amazing that Jay had four children, and in some way incomprehensible to me, she coped with all of them. The half-sister obviously went to stepmother!

I remember how often I received because of these unbearable children. It was impossible to keep track of them in childhood, and they constantly broke something, climbed up somewhere and regularly messed up at school. Well, Eunice wasn’t a hassle. Probably because of this, she was very close to me. Or maybe the big difference in age affected?

There was still time before dinner, and the family members gathered together communicated with each other. The little one also had fun: the boys of Johan brought toy pistols and played, running around the house one after another.

- Injured! - shouted alone.

- Not fair! - answered the second. - Not injured! That you are killed! Aah! Zombie! The aliens have revived you!

- Fool! There were no aliens in the Wild West! - Catching up the younger, shouted Will.

  - There were! On it were!

Soon the boys climbed to the second floor. I think they had something to play with there. Oh, and the stepmother will be angry if her now unbearable grandchildren break something! But I don’t have to follow them: adult parents, over there, are sitting at the table in the dining room. Sammy, meanwhile, went from room to room, tapping the pan with a spoon.

“Why did you get a jar from the kitchen?” I was surprised when my niece came up to me with a can on her head, hitting me in the pan, as if in a drum.

- I'm a jerk! - the girl grinned right away. - I'm leading a palad! And after me is an oestre! - a small puffy pen pointed to a small column of dolls tied to a rope. They all dragged along the floor on their leash. For a three-year-old girl, it was a parade, but I had completely different associations. But I decided not to sound like that. He grows up - he learns at history lessons.

Judging by the fact that neither mother nor the rest did not scold Sammy for the theft of utensils from the kitchen, they were not up to her. Looked around. Well, yes, Eunice talked with her father, Johan and Lulu discussed children's assessments, and Jay in the kitchen argued about something with her stepmother. Surprisingly, the stepmother, Bernice, did not respond to the loss. Maybe I didn’t notice? In the heat of heated debate she could.

I removed a can from my niece’s head, took a spoon and a pan, offering to watch a cartoon. Just walked the old "Wolf, dog and mouse." So many memories of this post-war cartoon. Yes, there was an allusion to “pink” families in it, but the cartoon was no worse from this. Even his father, a skeptic in life, a terrible bore and a rather gallful person, liked this cartoon. What can I say about me and Eunice who grew up on these heroes. Sammy said with displeasure that she wanted to lead the orchestra, but still sat next to me.

- Who took the can and pan? - squealed Bernice, leaving the kitchen.

With her nose bent at the end, dark large eyes and a very magnificent chest, her stepmother was like an owl. Especially now, going out in a dress with ruffles and the same openwork apron. Well, like an owl! You look at that, it will start to hoot. Which would be very comical with her tall, nasty, squeaky voice.

I handed out the utensils, pointing to my niece, absorbed in the action in the cartoon. Bernice immediately jerked up the dishes, grunted, and hid again in the kitchen. I could not resist this and smiled ... Yes ... The stepmother's children are great. Their taste for life is relentless. Only Eunice and I remained aloof with our problems. I envied the twins a little: their spouses supported them, loved and, most importantly, were with them. Not like that with Eunice ...

When the cartoon ended, it was the turn of the news. The clock was just seven in the evening. Sammy reached out to the remote in frustration, but I did not give her that. For once, I wanted to see the news block without comment. “The next fuel crisis is beginning,” the announcer said measuredly from the screen. - The Southern Independent Confederation delays fuel supplies for several days. The production of hydrogen elements fails, and the citizens of the North States of America are preparing to raise food prices, ”then they showed several interviews on this subject, where people bought food for the future. Someone complained that insurance and fuel are too expensive, and keeping a car is more at a loss. I knew that gasoline prices had already risen, even though the government was trying to contain this growth. True, the state could not restrain prices forever. And I understood that very well. Yes, right after the split of the north and south, a lot of effort was devoted to creating alternative fuels. Hydrogen blocks, nuclear engines, and electric motors appeared. But they received the main distribution in heavy equipment. Combines, trains, planes - all of them worked on hydrogen. Cars still required gasoline. No matter how many attempts there were to create a small and powerful hydrogen engine, nothing came of it. The technologies of electric cars of the past also did not take root - they were too expensive for the mass buyer after all the crises. Although biodiesel engines have recently begun to appear, the production of this fuel has proven to be more expensive than buying oil from neighbors.

It is good that Brumaltown was rebuilt very compactly after a new settlement. It is quite possible to live without constant trips by car: everything is at hand.

  “To other news. The first tourist group visited Utah. According to experts, the level of biological pollution has decreased and returned to normal over the past fifty years, and now this territory can be equated to the reserve. However, according to experts, pollution levels are still high in neighboring states. Cleansing procedures can take several more decades. ”

I involuntarily recalled the lessons of history from high school, namely, as we were told about the horrors of biological weapons of the past. Yes, I did not find any war, nor those times when the south and north were one. But I knew those who caught. Then, eighty years ago, there was a single country, and not two flaps with dead lands between them. Millions died in that war. And the saddest thing is that not a single country in the world could survive. Everyone suffered.

Having finished this news, the announcer passed the floor to his charming colleague: “This year, additional funding was allocated to support the“ pink ”marriages. The state congress believes that it is possible to increase the percentage of new unions ”- continued this news by an interview with one of the WCC employees who complained that during the period of liberalization the percentage of cohabitation without official registration began to grow. Due to several laws, it was difficult to track such a thing, and the “defenders” only had to wash their bound hands. I smiled sadly at the latest news:

- Cancel the Epo and restrictions - get such an increase, which has not been since the beginning of the century!

Sammy heard this and, turning to me, asked:

- Uncle Leo, and what is Epo?

- The procedure is this. After the wedding they go through it, - it seemed to me that this explanation is enough.

I knew the essence of the procedure, but I did not see any reason to acquaint the three-year-old even with official information. What can we say about the real component.

“If you grow up, you will learn more,” I added.

- I know! - the niece jumped up right away, shaking her red curls. - Mom was talking! These are the cools!

I shrugged: courses so courses. I had no idea what Jay was saying to her children and what was not. I did not want to quarrel, and I was more silent and listening, occasionally assenting.

About what is the Epo, I did not want to think even more so. These memories were very painful for me, and I tried to drive them away from me as far as possible. But only from year to year it became increasingly difficult. It was too painful to recall that the consequences of this "procedure" killed my husband Ivy.

The fact that this procedure is necessary and is the key to a happy marriage was said to all representatives of the third sex - eno. Everyone was introduced to the official information. Someone took it, someone not. But as soon as the official union took shape, any eno had no choice. For each person of the third sex, there was always only one choice - either loneliness or Epo a year after the wedding. True, in some places the procedure was carried out before the registration of marriage. It really depended on the region and the family.

- Hey! - Over my head came a few clicks of fingers. “We are only waiting for you.” They set the table! - Eunice still knew how to rescue me from captivity of heavy thoughts.

I sighed and, getting up from the couch, wandered into the dining room, where there was just an empty space between my father and Eunice. To my misfortune, Derek and Matilda joined the family meeting, who were not our relatives, but considered themselves good friends of the family. They either came, or pretended to be very busy. Predicting their appearance from year to year became increasingly difficult, and each time I was afraid of a new awkward meeting.

The appearance of this couple in the house became tense: Derek is my ex-boyfriend, and Matilda was constantly jealous of him to me. And although our relationship came to a standstill many years ago, Matilda still did not trust me, considering her rival. It is amazing that a guy who used to wear a pink hoop and considered himself eno can get a wife who will also be jealous of him. I understood that the third sex had a choice: to be with a man or a woman, but I still wondered how Derek got along with his wife. Although, perhaps, the similarity of characters and interests helped them? Ivi used to come to the rescue, protecting from the barbs and rudeness of Matilda. But he was not with us. Now the title of my defender passed Eunice. She snapped a couple of times at lunges, forcing me not to speak badly about me with the rest.

“You also came off in college,” said Derek, kissing Matilda. “Or should I remind you of George?”

Blushing with anger and resentment, the woman fell silent, lost in thought: she remembered the last unsuccessful novel, which ended on the initiative of the guy. When peace reigned in the house, I began to think that tomorrow I would communicate with a very difficult client.

“Okay,” I decided, realizing that I wanted to stay with my family, “you can’t rush to conclusions for now. We need to talk with these people. ”

The rest of the evening went over a family dinner. We remembered both good and difficult times in our lives.

[sprut6]

The Society Thoughts and Theories

Lots of spoilers if you haven’t finished season 1! This show is bananas and I absolutely love theorizing things like this where we don’t know what’s going on. I have some ideas below and some way more out there than others. Would love to hear what others think!

Where are they:

1. Parallel Universe – I feel like the show was pushing this hard with the strange solar eclipse, bringing it up multiple times (more than other theories). For that reason, I don’t think that will be what it is. However, I loved the twist about the eclipse. I really feel like they pushed PU hard in S1 even though people also threw around other ideas I still felt like this one was pushed the most. I think in S2 they’ll push a different theory to take us in a different direction and I think we’re seeing that with how S1 ended.

2. Kidnapped – I think this is a strong theory and where the show really wants us to go in assuming they’ve been taken and are being held hostage for ransom. I’ve seen some theories about the season finale saying that we don’t know what the dog represents and I agree but I definitely think that’s what the writers want us to assume – the dog is the same dog so it’s earth and the dog was able to get from New Ham to West Ham somehow. I think this will be the main theory for S2 that everyone will work around.

3. Afterlife – A reasonable theory now that we know that West Ham still exists and there is a memorial to the kids. But it’s too similar to (SPOILER – even though the show has been over for almost a decade) Lost. I think it would be disappointing if they copied it and I just think that everyone is alive.

4. Dream – I actually really like this theory. I could even see it being something like they wake back up on the bus and they (and the viewer) don’t know if it was a dream or what really happened although as a viewer that would be frustrating if we don’t have closure.

5. Simulation – They were kidnapped and they’re in a coma/simulation where this is all playing out while they’re being held for ransom. I actually was just like eh/maybe about this theory but as I was thinking it through more I think I’m getting more behind this one. (More thoughts on this below). At the moment this is my front runner.

6. Experiment – I actually don’t like this one but still wanted to include it. Again (spoiler) it’s copying The Village kind of and I just don’t know how likely I think it would be especially if the parents are supposed to be involved. Just bizarre all around if this was it.

 Theories:

1. Now that we know their parents aren’t dead, I’m thinking we’re going to see the parents a lot in S2. I think it’ll flip back and forth between perspectives between New Ham and West Ham. Maybe even some flashbacks leading up to field trip day.

2. We’ll get a new mayor. I don’t see Harry/Lexie staying mayor throughout. I think Allie will be re-elected at some point in S2 or we’ll see a breakdown of the system and she or someone else will take back over. 

3. We’ll learn who Eden’s biological father is. I strongly felt like it was Luke (because of problems it would create) until the Thanksgiving episode. When Luke and Helena announced they were getting married it showed Becca as really happy and I’m not sure that would have been authentic if it was Luke. I think the creators would have either showed a slower response or not shown her at all. I think Campbell is a stronger possibility because of Becca asking Sam to never ask her that again. I think she regrets whomever she slept with. If it’s Campbell I think it would be pretty devastating to her relationship with Sam. Even though they’ve never been in a romantic relationship she has seen how Campbell has treated Sam over the years and I think Sam will be hurt that his best friend slept with his abuser/bully. I think it would really change their dynamic and could possibly push Sam away from Becca.

4. Luke and Helena’s wedding doesn’t happen or gets postponed. I think their relationship will breakdown. It could be if Luke is the father but I don’t think they’re going to go that route because of how S1 ends and Luke having to side with Campbell. I think Helena will learn what really happened and she’ll have strong feelings about Luke lying to her.

5. I think we’ll see more side characters added. The cast is large already but we’ll need to continue to see alliances made between sides and new problems added so I think they’ll introduce more people who have been in the background just like we saw Lexie take a more prominent role right at the end. 

6. We’ll learn more about Pfieffer. I’m not convinced that’s a person. I’m wondering if that’s a code word, company name, etc.

7. Kelly and Harry’s parents aren’t having an affair. I think the meeting at the hotel will actually be a meeting between council members surrounding the smell/blackmail/mystery, etc. I think the group will start expanding on the council knowing more leading up to the field trip and they’ll start looking at other council member’s offices, homes and find more were at the hotel meeting.

8. The parents are working on a plan but the show might not let us know that. If the show wants us to think it’s possible the group is dead then I don’t think they’ll show us much of the parents but I’m thinking we might see S2 pick up with the parents. We have only a few parents in the library as opposed to a large group like an official memorial. I think its council members meeting. I think they know the kids are alive and they’re being extorted for money or something that is very difficult for them to get.

9. Harry knows something. He called this all a game and he’s inferred several times that everything would be okay. I think he knows something more specific or his parents said something to him to make him think that something could possibly happen but that everything would be okay. He also was one of the few that wasn’t worried at all in those early days.

10. I really debated mentioning this theory because I worried some people might think I was victim blaming or glamorizing Campbell but bear with me. I think it’s possible Elle has a mental disorder and she is actually harming herself and not Campbell. We know Campbell is a diagnosed psychopath but the show hasn’t shown us the physical abuse they’ve led us to believe is happening. It didn’t show him branding her or hitting her. Elle also hasn’t specifically stated that Campbell is hurting her, she lets people infer it. I think there’s a reason for both and I think it’s because he didn’t do it and it was actually Elle who branded herself with the C. Also, remember the dog. If the dog is the same then Campbell didn’t kill it as we were originally led to assume. If Elle has a diagnosed mental illness then most likely she hasn’t been on medication for months. I think we’ll find out more about what her home life like in S2 because as it stands she is the most central character that we know the least about in regards to backstory. It also would add another layer of complexity to the show. The group might have to decide, do they hold someone against their will if they consider them to be a danger to themselves or others (she tried to kill Campbell). In S1 we saw how they had to handle illnesses like a snake bite, poisoning, pregnancy but they didn’t deal with mental illness outside of Harry’s depression. I could see them tackling something like schizophrenia and the stigma around mental illnesses.

11. Maybe no one is dead. If it is a simulation maybe the deaths are the parents getting kids out/rescued. This is hard because of Allie and Cassandra and the idea that a parent would have to choose a child to rescue and leave another behind (at least for now) except Cassandra had a serious heart condition. Maybe the parents would pay her ransom first because of her illness and have to wait longer for Allie. I just think in a lot of shows there are reasons why characters have illnesses, etc and it’s because the show is going to use them later but Cassandra’s was never really used because she died so quickly and in a way that had nothing to do with her heart so why even have the character with that issue? But if there had to be a reason why one child would be chosen and another left then illness could be a factor. Also, maybe two parents paid at the same time – Cassandra’s and Dewey’s and that’s why their deaths are somewhat tied together. I’ll admit, this is pretty out there. I totally get that but I like the idea that no one is dead.

 Questions I want the kids to start asking themselves:

1. Where did the bus drivers go? They dropped them off and then the buses left. If they’re not in town then that should mean there’s a way out.

2. Why is the power still on and water running? We’ve seen multiple shots showing electricity and water but both should be off at this point without anyone running those systems. Power and water plants won’t run for months on their own.

 Random thoughts:

Love the nods to different forms of governing. Really interesting and smart insights!

I see some parallels to Animal Farm. Especially with how power corrupts.

Kind of pondering if the literature/movie references are important. 500 Days of Summer has a nod because of the creator but we’re seeing some of the books and movies in certain shots and just curious if there are more to them than face value. For example, The Princess Bride is a story within a story...which brings me back around to the simulation theory.

I told you, the series is bananas.

[alarawriting]

California Road Trip (Good Omens/Lucifer (TV))

OK, it is normally not my policy to post fanfiction to this account, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like a bad idea to do it if it’s a brand new fandom I haven’t done stuff in before, so here I go.

A few notes before I start here:

Both Good Omens and the tv series Lucifer are very, very much situated within Christian mythos - Christian specifically, not Judaism. However, Jesus Christ is very much Jewish. I don’t want to offend any Jewish readers, but I just won’t put up with the Christian historical attempt to somehow erase this fact. So I’m going to try to write him as a practicing Jew, which I admit is going to be weird, because generally speaking, Jewish people do not believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ, which puts him in a kind of “who shaves the barber” situation here.

If there are any Jewish folks out there who would not be bothered by being asked questions about Judaism for the sake of a fanfic starring Jesus Christ and the Antichrist on a road trip, please let me know, because while I’ve been reading about Judaism my entire life and have a great deal of interest in the religion and culture, the fact remains that I was raised Catholic. 

BTW, the title is a working title and may very well end up changed.

Adam Young sat morosely on a bench in the baggage claim at LAX, occasionally kicking his satchel as an expression of his frustration. Bloody stupid America had to be so bloody damn big. And he couldn’t do anything mundane about it – couldn’t hire a car, his driver’s license wasn’t valid in the States; couldn’t get a flight to San Francisco, because Mum and Dad were hardly made of money and his own funds had been just enough to get here; and maybe there was public, a bus or something, but how was he supposed to find it? All the signs and adverts on the walls were for car rental agencies and buses to local hotels.

He fussed with his phone, trying to get Google to tell him how to get a bus to San Francisco so he wouldn’t have to use his other options. The data plan didn’t work in the States and the airport didn’t have free wifi, so he was trying to find an unsecured network he could hop on. Strengthening the signal of an unsecured network seemed to him more legitimate than, say, hacking a secure network, and much more so than, for example, shortening the distance between Los Angeles and San Francisco so he could hire a taxi. He was definitely not going to go that far.

“Hey there,” he heard a man say. “You look frustrated. Anything I can do to help?”

Adam looked up. There was a tall, skinny man with shaggy brown hair in a ponytail, the almost-not-quite sprinkling of facial hair on the chin that people were calling a “soul patch”, and light brown skin of the kind you might see on an Arab, or a Greek, or given that this was the States, maybe a Mexican. He was dressed in very nondescript American clothes – gray t-shirt, plaid long-sleeve shirt unbuttoned, blue jeans, sneakers – and had the kind of friendly smile that made you immediately want to trust him and tell him your problems. Adam was deeply suspicious.

“Oh, no, don’t put yourself to any trouble on my account,” Adam said. “I’ve just got a thing I need to work out, is all.”

“No problem,” the man said. “But if there’s anything I can do to help you, please, just ask. We’re family, after all.” He grinned widely.

Adam blinked at that. “…Family?”

The man extended his hand. “Josh Carpenter. I’m your cousin.”

Adam’s da had no siblings. Mum had one, Adam’s flamboyantly gay uncle who definitely did not have any children or Adam would have been hearing about them his entire life. “I don’t have any cousins.”

“Well. Okay. Technically I’m your uncle, but you and I are a lot closer in age than the rest of the family so I really don’t feel comfortable calling myself an uncle.”

“I’ve only one uncle and you’re definitely not him.”

“Other side of the family,” Josh said.

Adam stood up, preparing to put some distance between himself and the obvious scammer. “My da hasn’t got any brothers or sisters.”

“Other other side, Adam,” Josh said. “The side you don’t like to think about much.”

And that knocked the wind out of him. Adam stared at the other man, who looked to be at most a year or two older than Adam himself. “…My other other side. You mean… my bio-father.”

“That’s a rather cold word to use, but I can see why it would be your choice,” Josh said. “Yes. Your bio-father’s my older half-brother.”

“So you’re a—” He hesitated. How did you publicly call someone an angel, or a demon, and which would it be? And wouldn’t it be offensive if he got it wrong? He’d gotten the distinct impression from Crowley and Az that most of their people were not nearly as laid-back or friendly as they were, and if this was an emissary from his bio-father, was he going to have to unleash his other side after all? They weren’t supposed to interfere on Earth, not in any way that inconvenienced him, anyway.

“Oh, no, no. I’m as human as you are.” Josh smiled again. The expression lit up his entire face, making him practically radiate ‘I’m a great guy, you should want to be my friend.’

Adam was about to retort that if Josh knew as much as he thought he did, he’d know exactly how human Adam was, and wasn’t, when his brain finished processing the name “Josh Carpenter” in the context of the other things the man had said, and realized who he was talking to. “Wait – you’re – my God.” Abruptly he realized that what he’d said was so apropos it went out the other side to being inappropriate. “I mean—”

Josh laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I know what you’re trying to say,” he said. “Anyway, I’m not, you know. Not like people think, anyway. I’m basically like you.”

Adam, entirely too aware of how close to being a god he was, was not reassured. “So, um… do we need to fight now, or something? Because I really don’t want to fight anyone.”

This time Josh’s laugh wasn’t a gentle chuckle, but more like a belly laugh. “No, no!” He got his hilarity under control. “No. You made your decision when you were eleven, and I’m really glad, because I never wanted any of that nonsense either. And to be perfectly honest I don’t think Father did either. The whole thing came from John’s predictions, and I think they all somehow got the idea that John was channeling information directly from Father because he was one of my best friends, but the truth is? John was… a little weird, to be honest. Wonderful guy, great friend, but… he was never all that grounded, if I’m being honest.”

“So wait. None of that business was in the Divine Plan after all?”

“Contrary to popular belief I don’t generally have any more idea what Father is up to than anyone else, but I do know Him better than most, and no. I don’t think any of that was His idea.”

“Huh.”

Adam must have made a face that somehow indicated his bemusement, because Josh asked, “What?”

“It’s just… I’ve got a pair of friends. Well, I’m sure you know about them if you know about the Apocawasn’t, and Crowley and Az both refer to God as Her.”

Josh shook his head. “It’s a thing He’s been encouraging lately because the English language doesn’t have a good neuter pronoun, and obviously God is larger than any concept of gender, and He’s not really thrilled with what humans have assumed about Him based on the pronoun. But He doesn’t really care which you use, as long as it’s respectful, and… I had a biological mother. I’ve had quite some time where I’ve been using masculine pronouns, so I’m not going to switch unless He asks me to.”

“But it’s okay that I call Her my grandmother? Because that’s hilarious.”

“Sure. Grandmother, grandfather, granddeity… whatever you want. Long as it’s respectful enough.”

“I’m not sure my mental picture of God in a babushka kerchief and a rocking chair is respectful though.”

“Ah, ‘respectful’ when I say it doesn’t mean what the people who supposedly listen to me mean when they say it. I’m Jewish. If you want to picture God as rocking in a chair and wearing a kerchief, maybe doing Her knitting, creating a planet or two? That’s fine. The respect we’re called on to give to God – and by we, I mean humans, but I don’t think it’s much different for half-humans like you and me – is exactly like the respect you give your grandmother. If your grandmother says something that’s stupid and insensitive, you challenge her, because it was stupid and insensitive. If she has rules that make no sense, you challenge them. If She disowned your brother and most of his friends because he talked back to Her, absolutely you get to call Her on that and tell Her that was a dick move. But you still respect her, because She’s your grandmother. You exist because She gave you life, directly or indirectly.”

Adam thought he had stopped talking about a merely hypothetical grandmother about halfway through that. “Really? You tell God that something She did was a dick move?” He laughed.

“Every chance I get,” Josh said, grinning. “We actually disagree about a lot of things, but He listens to me more than He does to anyone else, I guess. Youngest son syndrome or something.”

Adam had in his life had conversations about ending the world, about life on the planets of Alpha Centauri, and about the management structure of Hell, but this still counted as one of the more surreal conversations he’d ever had. “So. Um. Were you just doing something when I happened to stroll by, or did you actually come here to see me?”

Josh put up his hands. “Guilty, I admit it,” he said. “I knew you were here and I knew you were in a little bit of trouble. I didn’t want to pry enough to find out what, though, so you want to tell me? I can probably help out.”

“I don’t need a miracle. I can do that for myself.”

“Good for you. I don’t do them anymore unless it’s an emergency, either, so I think we’re on the same page about that. What’s wrong?”

Adam sighed. “It’s such a bloody stupid mistake to make. I forgot how big the States are. In particular, this state. I came here to see Pepper at Berkeley, she’s doing her grad studies there… you know my friend Pepper, right?”

“She was there that day, so yes, I do.”

“You weren’t there, though.”

“The angels knew I disapproved of the whole thing and kept interfering with me getting a chance to talk to you, but I definitely checked out the whole thing afterward. So yes, I know of Pepper.”

“Right. And the price for a flight to Los Angeles was so much less than San Francisco, I could afford it myself without asking Mum and Da for money. And I had completely forgot that it’s a three hour drive between the two cities, because seriously? That’s much too much for the same state! Who even drew the boundaries for this state, because it’s ridiculous!”

Josh laughed. “I won’t argue against that. And I think I may have just the thing. Although it might take a miracle of the more mundane variety to get it to actually drive for three hours straight without breaking down, but I do have a pickup truck.”

Adam raised an eyebrow, taking in Josh’s appearance. “I’d have thought some kind of, I don’t know, tiny enviro-friendly electric car would be more your thing.”

Josh snorted. “Do you have any idea how much those things cost? If I had that kind of money, it’d go straight to a soup kitchen, maybe a homeless shelter or two. My pickup’s not the greatest, but it still runs, and it lets me carry furniture donations and things like that.”

“You do some kind of ministry or something?”

“Always,” Josh nodded. “Though not like you’re probably thinking. My day’s over; I’m here on Earth because you are, not for my own sake, so I let humans take the lead. I do volunteer work for several of the local Jewish charities, helping the homeless, the hungry, you know.” He leaned on the wall with one hand. “So. Up for a road trip with your cousin?”

“Uncle.”

“You’re making me feel old.”

“You’re two thousand, I should hope so!” Adam said, grinning.

“Yes, but all my brothers and sisters are billions of years older than me, so by that standard, you and I are practically the same age.” He pushed off the wall. “And speaking of my brothers. Did you know your father is in town?”

Adam went cold. “Wait, what? The Devil is here in Los Angeles?”

“Yes. Running a nightclub, apparently.” Josh put a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “You know, I really think you should meet with him. You shouldn’t completely shut your father out of your life even if you don’t want to be close.”

“He’s not my father,” Adam scowled. “My Da’s the one who taught me to ride a bike and who read stories to me at night and cooked me terrible hash browns when Mum was poorly and couldn’t make supper.”

“Right, I get that,” Josh said. “My dad taught me how to build a house, or a cabinet, and taught me how to ride a donkey, and used to walk me to Temple so he’d know where I was because he said I was going to go anyway so he might as well walk me there. But I also have a Father. It’s okay, you know, to acknowledge more than two parents. Step-parents and adopted parents have been a thing since humanity came into existence.”

“Yeah, well, your Father never appeared to you as a giant monster crawling out of the pavement trying to destroy your entire planet.”

“And I really think you ought to try to meet up with Lucifer and talk to him about that. Put some of those conflicts to bed. He was frequently a pretty terrible person when he was running Hell, but… it’s Hell. It makes people terrible even if they were great to begin with. He’s so much better now that he’s not there anymore.”

“What, do you hang out with him often?”

Josh shook his head. “He doesn’t even know I’m here. I haven’t gone to look him up in person, but… you know how it is. If you’re interested in knowing about a person… sometimes it just happens. That happens to you, too, right?”

Adam nodded slowly. “Yeah. Actually it does.” The thought occurred to him that Josh was the only other person on the planet who might really understand some of Adam’s challenges and sorrows in life. The stress of having to restrain near-omnipotent power, so often, because you wanted to be a human and to fit in with humanity, not to stand above it as some sort of lonely god – or devil. Crowley and Az knew a bit of it, but they’d never been human, and Warlock understood some of the weirdness of Adam’s life but had never had the power to perform miracles.

He made a decision. “If you’re offering, I’ll take you up on that trip to San Francisco, and you can maybe talk me into… meeting my bio-dad. Maybe. No promises.”

“That’s all I can ask,” Josh said.

“But if your car will hold together well enough… I’ve got a friend in the States, out on this coast, but I knew Washington was much too far away for me to visit him without a second plane trip. Maybe we could head up north and see him?” Warlock had fled the East Coast and the influence of his toxic parents as soon as he’d turned of age to do so. Adam had met him once or twice after the Apocawasn’t, when his father had had to come back to England – he hadn’t been the American ambassador anymore but he’d still had reasons to come back – and Crowley and Az had brought him to see the boy who should have been his parents’ son, his quasi-brother, at his insistence. But they hadn’t met in person in a few years; Warlock wouldn’t take money from his parents to fly to England and this was Adam’s first trip to the States.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Adam grinned, remembering something. “Oh yeah. Is there an ice cream place around here? I heard as a kid that America has thirty one ice cream flavors.”

Josh laughed. “Only thirty-one? You’re in for a treat. Yeah, I know where to find the nearest Baskin-Robbins, that’s the chain that advertised about the thirty-one flavors. There’s actually a lot more than that. Though sadly, Baskin-Robbins’ stores don’t generally have all thirty-one at once.” He gestured toward the door. “Come on. It’s kind of a hike. I couldn’t afford to park in the closer lots.”

Adam picked up his satchel and followed Josh. “I don’t mind a walk,” he said.

[verypersonalscreencaps]

An interview with Lesley Manville on World On Fire

BBC One | 24th September 2019

Lesley Manville plays Robina Chase in World On Fire.

What is it about Robina Chase that attracted you to the part? Robina is an upper middle-class woman who is widowed and is the epitome of the very posh end of Manchester. Her son Harry is her only child and he goes off to war - Robina’s story revolves around that. Harry’s father, we learn, committed suicide some time ago and she lives in a large country pile that’s a bit cold and soulless. I was drawn to play that class of woman because it’s not something I’ve had to do often before.

How do we see her evolve throughout the drama? There is something quite frozen about Robina at the beginning of the series and then you get to see this woman who melts a bit and comes to some level of understanding about herself and how she’s conducted her life. The fact that Robina is quite emotionally repressed and finds anything to do with love and being tactile quite a challenge says a lot about where she has come from. It’s partly to do with her background, partly the class she belongs to and partly her upbringing and the time period. She’s quite a closed door and nothing gets in - in fact you get the impression that nothing much has ever got in. In that respect she’s quite an interesting person to get your acting chops around.

How did you react when you first read the script? The first thing you look at when considering any part is the writing and if the writing and narrative are strong then it becomes a much easier decision to say yes and this script is wonderful. It’s beautifully written by Pete Bowker and the characters are all very specifically observed. I love the way the story dipped in and out of all these different lives. Yes of course there are the central characters, but it’s a real cocktail of stories about how this epic and tragic event affected different people in different parts of the world. It looks at what the war did to peoples’ lives on a big scale, on a very small scale and on a very personal scale. What it does to love, relationships and families.

How are we first introduced to Robina in the story? In the story we first meet Robina in her mansion, lonely, on her own. Harry has gone off to war and you get the impression that she’s not been the greatest mother in the world. It’s not that she’s an evil woman in any way, it’s just a muscle in her that she doesn’t quite know how to flex; how to be this person who gives warmth and love.

Harry comes back with Jan, a young Polish child, for her to take care of. She’s aghast - why on earth he would think she has any qualifications to look after a strange child who doesn’t speak her language is beyond her. Jan becomes a sort of challenge for her, and it's what I like about the way Peter’s written Robina: you can write her off as selfish, privileged with a blinkered view of the world - someone who only thinks upper class people are important - working-class people don’t really exist in her world - but she has a great sense of humour and is quite wicked and dry, which I liked a lot about her. The journey for her is that she discovers how to be a mother.

How does her relationship grow with Jan? In the 21st century that we live in families are not necessarily made up of biological members. Families now are about embracing children that are not your own; grandchildren that are not your own, but that was obviously not the case in the 1930s and 40s.

However, Robina actually embraces this young boy and very slowly finds herself attached to him. A whole set of feelings that she didn’t know she was capable of start to emerge and it’s very touching. You see the strange relationship she has with her own son, where, by her own admission, she’s been a terrible mother, but they have something that binds them together. They have a humour and archness with each other and sometimes that’s all it takes. Of course it’s not everything and it’s not nearly enough but it’s what binds them. I do love the way you see this woman who has been so bad at being a mother all her life begin to, through maturity, the war, loneliness, whatever find somewhere in her heart where she can open up a bit and give something to this foreign child.

What does Robina make of Harry’s choices in women? Robina thinks Harry’s choice in women is appalling, especially when you know her expectations for him are that he will marry an upper middle-class girl who knows which knives and forks to use; knows how to dress, knows how to speak properly and will be a credit to her husband.

Being in love doesn’t really matter to Robina. If he could only meet somebody who was presentable and could keep up the ridiculous game that she’s played all her life she would be reasonably pleased with that. She’s embarrassed about the manner of her husband’s death. To Robina it’s shameful and embarrassing and a good marriage for Harry would go some way to eradicating Robina’s embarrassment. However, with two women on the go, one a polish waitress (Kasia) and the other a cabaret singer (Lois), it is looking increasingly unlikely that her wish will come true.

Describe Robina’s relationship with Lois’ dad Douglas? Robina’s relationship with Douglas is at first a necessity because of the relationship between Harry and Douglas’ daughter, Lois. She thinks she can handle Douglas easily because he is a bus driver, but he disarms her with his candour and honesty. Given everything that’s happening in Robina’s world she actually opens up to Douglas and realises that he’s an intelligent man. She can see he has a tenderness and warmth that she envies in some way so we see this unusual friendship begin to develop.

Apart from when she’s with Harry we never see Robina with her own people, so it was quite tricky to get that right because there were no other upper-class characters to bounce off. But then one of the directors (Andy Wilson) gave me a great note which is that Robina is naturally upper-class because it’s in her DNA, so she would never think about how should she behave with a bus driver - she would just be Robina.

What was it like to work with Eryk, who plays the little refugee boy Jan? Eryk is quite an exceptional person, and not just as an actor but as a charming young man. He’s full of warmth and life and love and understanding and compassion. One of my early scenes with him was when she starts to see quite how vulnerable he is, how young he is and how far away from home he is. Eryk played it so brilliantly and I found him very easy to work with. It was also very easy for me to take what I felt about him as a young man and convert that to Robina’s growing sense of compassion and love for Jan.

Eryk’s instincts are quite exceptional for a young actor and there’s not a lot that you have to tell him, he understands it instinctively and you cannot teach that. You could send a child to drama school every Saturday school for ten years and they could learn all the techniques, but you could never teach a child that. He has an inherent understanding and he can tap into his heart and feelings and relay them to the actor he’s working with.

How does war change her? Robina’s perspective of the war is from a very cosy and safe position really. I mean obviously nobody was safe, but she is relatively cosy and safe. You could say she is experiencing the war through Jan, and strangely, she seems to care more about him than the fact her son is on the front line. You will see him arriving back and she’s there, waiting with a polite kiss on the cheek if anything, but there’s no kind of charged emotion at the thought of her child returning from war. Somewhere deep inside those feelings are there, it’s just that it was such a repressed time for her class.

[lostonehero]

A split

Lazarus read the note again, his mom is working again so he had to make dinner alone. She probably wouldn't be back until he was asleep even then she would be at her second job before he woke up for school. She worked too hard for this shithole of a place.

His father well he never met him. His mother was raped and that's how he came to be. His mother was an amazing women she gave up everything for him because she was pregnant out of wedlock. She would tell him so many amazing stories of her old family and how she missed them, but she can't go back because of him.

This hurt him but his mom never blamed him nor harmed him. He just felt the weight of that burden even if nobody told him he should. He removed his eyepatch showing off a black eye where the white should be and a yellow snake eye glowing against the black. Mom says he is a half ghoul which she says was impossible so she calls him a miracle. She even help trains him to control the inhuman abilities.

He finished making his mother's day card filled with a essay of why she is an amazing mother. Leaving her favorite chocolates on the card before heading off to bed.

.....

Lazarus stared at his bedroom ceiling with unease settling in his stomach. He was going to a special summer school for people like him as a precursor for college. His mother kept going on about how he will meet people like himself. He had no idea what that meant but she was really excited for him, and it will help pay for college. That made him excited because his mom didn't have to work so hard.

......

It wasn't even a bus it was a hearse that stopped in front of his house.

"Have a nice summer remember to write and don't forget to tell them what you need to eat I love you Lazarus." His mom said trying not to be seen by the driver. "Oh don't forget the extra eyepatch I got you and I packed you something special."

Lazarus could only smile as he nods and he hugs his mom. "I will never understand why you hide from this stuff. Love you mom."

Lazarus walks out and enters the hearse with a suitcase in hand and his note that he hands to the driver. He removes his eyepatch to show off what he is.

The driver looks at Lazarus in pure shock. "I thought they were fucking with me. I will tell the headmaster that you are for real." The driver says pointing to the seats that Lazarus sits in. The hearse driver mumbles "half ghoul wow I might ass well be in heaven I've seen everything."

Lazarus sits next to a princely fellow tieing his eyepatch back on as the man looks at him in shock.

"You're a half ghoul, your in my prophecy." The prince guy says.

A much more disheveled prince guy jumps to look over the seat. "Looks like you're getting hitched Roman didn't think it was possible."

"Oh shut it Remus you're suppose to marry a demon." The prince guy Roman says.

Lazarus stays quiet not knowing what to say.

"You know where we're going right?" Remus asks.

Lazarus looks up. "A summer school for monsters?"

"YES"

"NO Remus it's an educational training facility for beings other then pure humans. It's a training on how to blend in with humanity and how to be associated with hunters as not to be killed its require if you want to live with humans." Roman huffs.

"But I already live with humans this is paying for my college." Lazarus responds.

"Wait you already live among humans? What's it like? We've never left our kingdom Oh right I'm Roman that's Remus we're fae princes and we're going to live with humans for a long while until we marry or just decide to go home." Roman says smiling

Lazarus shrugs "I dunno hopefully this is better."

.........

Lazarus ended up rooming with Roman after the headmaster passed out realizing he was a half ghoul. He was thankful since Roman he already kind of knew him, his brother got paired with a guy with really thick glasses and two other people he wasn't paying attention to.

He was setting up his room and placed a picture of him and his mother on his desk as he finished laying on his black and gold checkered bed. He was growing uncomfortable with Roman gawking at him.

"You didn't use any magic. How did you do that?" Roman asks amazed.

Lazarus blinked obviously confused. "What? That's how I normally make my bed and put things away."

"Can you teach me? I've never done things the human way." Roman looks at Lazarus with eyes filled with curiosity.

Lazarus nodded and began to teach.

.......

It's been a month and he got his first letter from his mom.

"Hey sweetie how are you? Sorry for taking so long to respond things came up, you'll understand when you get home. Anyways this Roman guy you keep going on about sounds amazing you should bring him home for dinner. You made other friends too Logan Remus Patton and Virgil they all sound nice. Oh make sure Patton eats before a full moon it will help him, and sweetie I hope your eating right because we both know you can't go too long without eating han flesh. Anyways keep sending letters it sounds amazing, love mom."

Within the note is attached what looks like jerky which Lazarus begins to chew on.

"Oh got a gift from home, what did your parent send you?" Logan asks his speech finally sounding less robotic he was a demon not a robot.

"Jerky my mom makes it herself, she works as clean up in a hospital biohazard stuff aka human flesh." Lazarus mumbles chewing on his food.

"Huh neat isn't your mom human? Its surprising that she is ok with all this." Virgil says sipping on his blood milkshake.

"Well she has been doing this since I was born so I guess knew what happened after she was raped." Lazarus frowned at the shocked faces. "How did you think I was made anyways?"

"Love and compassion." Patton sniffs looking upset pulling Lazarus into a hug.

"You do know what ghouls are Patton. Soulless creatures that are neither demonic magic or angelic in nature they are in a category in of themselves which makes them dangerous and extremely hard to predict. They are violent and powerful a half ghoul is well was impossible usally ghouls just kill outright I guess yours got frisky with juicy things." Remus winks.

"You had me in the first half bro." Roman says leaning on Lazarus.

"I have to disagree that was quite informative you really do your research." Logan says impressed.

Lazarus shrugs. "Eh she is fine never blame me."

"I want to meet the wonderful woman who made you Lazarus." Roman says

Lazarus blushes. "Ah shut it Roman."

Roman sticks his tongue out.

.......

The end came way too fast for Lazarus's liking but Roman was coming home to meet his mother. Hopefully she wouldn't be upset. He stops for a second remembering a picture from his textbook on hunters. One of the reoccurring pictures reminded him of his mother. He shrugged it probably wasn't her.

Lazarus opened the door to his house Roman behind him. He stopped dead when he heard Roman shreik.

"THE HUNTER QUEEN DON'T KILL HIM." Roman pulls Lazarus behind him and prepares to take the blow but is only met with a soft tisk.

"Lazarus who's your friend? Oh is this the Roman you wrote to me about he is cute." Lazarus's mother says looking over the two.

Roman was shaking he heard horror stories of how countless faes fell to her blade. "Y-y-you know me?"

"Of course my son sent me a bunch of letters."

Then it clicked for Lazarus. "Oh that makes sense you used to be a hunter no wonder you're ok with everything."

"Oh correct I'm retired now unless someone here breaks my son's heart." She chuckles "oh I'll make your favorite for dinner do you have any requests Roman?"

"Not to die." Roman looks pale as a ghost.

"Do you like spicy chicken I'll make that." She smiles.

Roman can only nod now hiding behind Lazarus who goes up to his room.

.....

"Your mother is what horror stories are for my well every supernatural kind. The cursed immortal hunter who can kill everything she sets her mind to." Roman gasps

Lazarus hums. "That explains why she looks so young."

"Why are you not freaking out she can kill us."

"Roman you forget she is my biological mother, and retired." Lazarus looks to Roman who seems to be in deep thought

"THAT'S WHY SHE VANISHED IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. Also explains why you went to the summer school so you wouldn't be targeted."

Lazarus sighs. "Why did I fall in love with you?" He quickly slaps his hand over his mouth.

"You love me?"

Lazarus looks away nodding.

Roman looks at Lazarus with amazement. "Fuck fear I love you too."

They kiss.

[sallylikesmovies]

Film Review: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Shaun of the Dead is a zombie horror/comedy/slightly romantic film directed by Edgar Wright (who also made the recent Baby Driver). Since it’s release in 2004, it’s popularity has not withered but has become a cult classic and loved by fans from all over the world. It is also known as one of the movies that ‘rebooted’ zombie films in the 2000s.

There is a lot that I love about this film, so bear with me through this super positive, complimentary film review!!

First off, the music!! And most notably the way actions are synchronized with the music, which is a technique Wright often uses in his films, including in sequences in Baby Driver and The World’s End. My favorite of these scenes must be the one where the main character Shaun (Simon Pegg) and his friends beat up the zombie bartender with pool sticks. It’s one of my favorite parts of the movie because of it’s absurdity, but that’s what makes it so fun and funny. It’s also a fantastically creative way of making a song look like it’s meant to be diegetic, but in actuality “Don’t Stop Me Now” in the scene is a non-diegetic mood conveyor, because the characters are pumped up and adrenaline filled, ready to fight their way to survival. Besides, who doesn’t love a bit of Queen?

Shaun of the Dead is an excellent example of how enormously successful Wright’s way of visual comedy really is. I found a video on Youtube that summarizes what I think makes it so successful, so I’ll post the link to that right after I post this review, but here are the main ways I think he does it: He exaggerates the way things happen to make humor, including sound effects.  Wright uses sound effects to demonstrate a transition, jump scares, as well as to dramatize actions to create humor. In the scene where Shaun and Ed (Nick Frost) are trying to defeat two zombies in their backyard and resorts throwing random objects they had gathered in the house defend themselves from the zombies. Every time they picked up an object, an unrealistic “whoosh” sound effect would be added, and each time they threw the object, another louder “whoosh” would be used. I think this just makes their actions look much more dramatized and silly, creating humor in the process. I’ve explained it very unfunnily, so if you really want a laugh, go watch the film!

The foreshadowing of the zombie apocalypse is so clear and obvious to the audience, but seemingly so inconceivable to Shaun. The first 25 minutes or so of the film (and of most films) was for the introduction of characters and their relationships, but here, it is also filled with pieces of foreshadowing. The most obvious way Wright did this was through the TV. Whenever a TV was part of the mise-en-scène, a news broadcast surrounding some sort of virus outbreak, or when flipping through the channels, a perfectly comprehensible message is spoken, most noticeably right before Shaun and Ed finds Mary the zombie in their backyard: “Although no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it ‘Judgement Day’. There’s panic on the streets of London as an increasing number of reports of serious attacks on people who are literally being eaten alive. A witness reports a sketchy, one unifying detail seems to be that the attackers in many instances appear to be dead—”. Shaun appears to be slightly dumbfounded by this, which is his reaction to most of the more obvious foreshadowings. This is such an incredibly clever and creative way of creating dramatic irony, I wish more comedy filmmakers could learn from Wright, and his attention to detail.

A visual foreshadowing of the apocalypse how the extras in scenes are made out to seem. For example, when Shaun takes his normal commute to and from his job, the other passengers on the bus seem like they are partially zombies already. Apart from Shaun, the passengers are all super pale, and have a blue tinge to them. While some passengers are sleeping, others stare into space, as if they are already brain dead, and some passengers cough uncontrollably, which is a nod to the biological contamination and sickness that is widely known to be connected to a zombie apocalypse.

Another notable foreshadowing is in the line “You’ve got red on you”, which brings me to the screenwriting. Simon Pegg co-wrote the screenplay with Edgar Wright, as this was their first film together as creative partners. They wrote an authentic screenplay that shapes each character perfectly, creating some interesting and compelling characters. The first use of “You’ve got red on you” is when Shaun puts his red pen in his shirt pocket and it leaks and leaves a red ink stain on his white shirt. This was a sign that blood will be shed, as the color red is commonly analogous for blood, therefore the meaning of “you’ve got red on you” is that the red on his shirt will soon no longer be pen, but blood.

The genuinely amazing performances from the cast just pulls the the movie together (not that it needed pulling together). Simon Pegg in particular gives a gripping performance, which can be seen through the entire movie, but most riveting during *SPOILER ALERT* the death of Phillip (Bill Nighy), Shaun’s stepdad. He gives a heart wrenching, realistic performance, making all of us cry along with him as he finally realizes that Phillip only ever wanted to be good father to him, making the scene one of Shaun’s best character arcs. *ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT* Furthermore, his acting capabilities really shine through when he finds out that his mother Barbara (Penelope Wilton) was bitten by a zombie and will inevitably die and turn into one of them. This makes his character all the more lovable as he conveys just how much he loved his mother and the closeness of their relationship, making the audience weep as she dies. These moments in the film make the movie more respectable as it shows that it is not just a ‘zomedy’ movie, but can include realistic and emotional characters, absorbing the interest of the audience and giving the film the capability of executing effective ‘drama’ scenes.

Lastly, there are innumerable parallels between Shaun’s monotonous and joyous life and the zombie life. In the beginning of the movie, Shaun cannot even realize that a zombie apocalypse is upon them because of way he sleepwalks through his tired daily routine. And because Shaun is a metaphor for people living that standard life with a mundane daily routine, the film is basically calling us zombies, which I understand because I often feel like a zombie walking through life because of my repetitive life, waking up each morning similarly to the way Shaun does.

I know I’ve said a lot about why I think this is such a great movie, but there’s so much more!! Please go watch this movie, or go re-watch it if you have seen it already. Truly one of the best movies of the 21st Century, and one of the few movies that I’ll never get sick of watching because it never fails to make me laugh and put a smile on my face. A timeless piece to say the least!

Rating: 5/5

P.S. Sorry for attaching two movie posters. I think they’re both great and are pieces of art in themselves so I couldn’t pick between the two.

[keepingupwithlinmanuel]

But I ain’t goin’ back because I’m telling your story

My earliest memory takes place in a bodega on Dyckman Street in Washington Heights. I am three years old, and walking hand in hand with my Abuela Mundi. Abuela Mundi isn't biologically my "abuela" grandmother, but she lives in my house, feeds me, tucks me in and walks me to and from nursery school. She took care of my father when he was a kid in Vega Alta, Puerto Rico his parents never stopped working, and when I was born, she came to take care of me and my sister our parents never stop working. It's a hot summer day; there's an open hydrant on Beak Street and I can see the top of the Cloisters across the park as Abuela and I walk down Seaman Avenue. Dominican and Puerto Rican flags hang from nearby windows.

The bodega's glass door is covered in Corona ads and half-scratched decals. Merengue plays on the stereo as Abuela Mundi exchanges a wink and a smile with the man behind the counter. We walk past aisles of plantains and canned goods to the storeroom in back, where we see Abuela Mundi's true passion: three gleaming Vegas-style slot machines. For the next few hours, it will be my special job to pull the machine's arm as Abuela feeds it quarters, watching rows of fruit spin around and line up just so, hoping for the lucky spin that will make her rich and change her life. She wins some quarters and sinks them back into the machine. The bodega man gives me candy, I'm pulling the arm for Abuela, music is playing and life is good.

If In the Heights has any particular genesis, it's the memory of this day and so many others like it. I grew up in Northern Manhattan, and if you've ever even driven through the neighborhood, you know that music comes out of every corner. Salsa horn lines wail from fire escape windows; bachata guitar lines blare from pimped-out car stereos. As a teenager, my father was the president and maybe the only member of the Puerto Rico chapter of Debbie Reynolds Fan Club, so we grew up on a bizarre diet of Juan Luis Guerra, Marc Anthony, Fiddler on the Roof and Camelot. Meanwhile, my friends and I obsessed over hip-hop music: I remember poring over Fat Boys albums and forcing my school bus driver to teach me the words to "Beef" by KRS-One.

I wrote the first incarnation of In the Heights my sophomore year at Wesleyan University. In the winter of 1999, I applied to put up a new show in the student-run '92 Theater. At the time, I had one song and a title: In the Heights. I was given the theater for the weekend of April 20-22—now all I had to do was write a show. I barely slept, I barely ate; I just wrote. I put in all the things I'd always wanted to see onstage: propulsive freestyle rap scenes outside of bodegas, salsa numbers that also revealed character and story. I tried to write the kind of show I'd want to be in. Two remarkable things happened. One, we broke box-office records for the '92 Theater that year—it was insanity. Two, I was approached by John Buffalo Mailer son of Norman, a senior at the time. He loved the show and said, "My friends and I are starting a production company when we graduate, and we want to help you bring it to New York." I said, "That sounds awesome," went to the cast party and promptly forgot about his offer.

Fast forward to the summer of 2002, when I meet director Tommy Kail for the first time in the basement of the Drama Book Shop. John Mailer has made good on his promise and has founded Back House Productions with Tommy, Anthony Veneziale and Neil Stewart. I've just graduated, and Tommy is breaking down what he likes about Heights and what he would do if he directed it. Two thoughts occur to me. The first is: "This guy is smarter and understands the show better than anyone I've ever met." The second is, "Crap. I have to completely rewrite this show."

Over the next year, while I teach seventh grade English at my old high school by day, Back House hosts at least five readings of Heights in its various, pupating stages. Producer Jill Furman comes to a reading, enjoys herself and joins us on the journey. Rent producer Kevin McCollum comes to a reading in June 2003. He digs the music, he digs the bodega and he wants more. His producing partner, Jeffrey Seller, concurs, and the hard work begins.

Fast forward to January 1, 2007. I'm house-sitting for my parents tonight, writing this essay in exactly the same room I wrote the first draft of In the Heights. I'm not alone in this endeavor anymore: I'm sure our brilliant book writer, Quiara Hudes, is up late tweaking dialogue, and our arrangers, Alex Lacamoire and Bill Sherman, are orchestrating the latest music at Alex's house. Somewhere Tommy is working on script notes, and Andy Blankenbuehler is refining and tightening his incredible choreography. The payoff for me will be in late January, when my Abuela Mundi comes to see the show for the first time. There's an Abuela character in the show now, Abuela Claudia. She plays Lotto every day, hoping for the lucky numbers that will make her rich and change her life. I don't know what I've done to deserve the luck I've had, but while I'm here, I'm pulling the arm for Abuela, music is playing and life is good.

[dorepil]

i need somebody

pairing: reader x dowoon ( ft. day6 )

genre: angst, a bit of fluff

word count: 3.9k

note: okay so it’s my first time writing, so please bear with me because this is actually very messy ;-; i actually only wanted to write a really short story but it became really long so pardon me for any mistakes made :> enjoy !! -admin sun

sypnopsis: dowoon was your best friend ever since the both of you were young but when it came to attending high school, he met this group of guys who he eventually considers as his best friends and disregards your presence, without realizing.

“DOWOON WHERE ARE YOU, I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES” you shouted from outside his house, trying to look into his window with your hands holding onto the straps of your backpack, barely keeping still. If he doesn’t come out anytime soon, both of you were going to be late on your first day of high school and you were pretty sure he knew just HOW MUCH you hated being late.

“Y/N, LET’S GO,” Out of sudden, he burst out of his front door, and without any prior notice, he grabs your wrist, making you run for the bus. You saw the bus slowly approaching the stop and ran even faster. You were lucky that the driver saw the both of you running from far away because if he didn’t, he would’ve already left. You thanked the ahjusshi and proceeded to take sit at the back of the bus where there weren’t many people. 

Once you both have sat down, you punched his shoulder several times making sure he knew just how mad you were at that moment of time. Despite already knowing you were upset, he still had the guts to smile in your direction, thinking his little some could fix it.

“What the hell dude? Weren’t you the one who said that we should meet at the bus stop at 6:30 in the morning? It was already 6:45 and you were nowhere to be found? YOU OWE ME.” you told him while looking out the window with your arms crossed in front of you because if you were late by even half a minute, you swore he won’t live to see the next day.

Dowoon casually placed his arm around your shoulder and gently shook you, doing what he did best, using his aegyo to make it up to you.

“Y/n ah, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you later when school ends! I’ll even buy you that expensive cake you love from that cafe! ” he says, batting his eyelashes in your direction. He was lucky he was cute because if he wasn’t, he would’ve already felt your wrath a long time ago.

Dowoon was the first ever friend you made when you were 7, he was new to the neighbourhood when he happened to find you playing in the sand pit in the park all alone. He slowly approached you and, being someone who found it hard to open up and talk to people, you backed away leaving your toys on the sand. He picked up one of your toys with one hand and with the other hand, he extended it out to you.

“I’m Yoon Dowoon, you are?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips.

On that same day, he made a promise to make sure you will never be alone and that he would always be by your side. You two eventually came in a package, when one goes somewhere the other follows too. Both of you did everything together. But that was until he met a new group of friends. You really never saw it coming, especially when it came to him, he made sure you knew he was there when you needed him but sadly, not all promises are kept.

As time passed, you noticed a change in Dowoon, you could no longer recognise him. You didn’t want to say anything about it because you were afraid that you would severe the friendship that was already hanging by a thread.

He used to always hang out with you during lunch, after school, on weekends and basically every possible time you could be together, but lately, he barely ever glanced your way. Like you mentioned, he used to always be there for you but it doesn’t seem so anymore. He was always around these four other guys that he prioritised over you. They would do everything together just like what you and Dowoon used to do in the past.

You never really thought of it much when Jae asked Dowoon to eat with them for lunch when they were about to walk out of the classroom. He turned to look at you for approval and you just nodded your head thinking it was only going to be a one-time thing, what you didn’t see coming was that it would last from days to months to what seems likes forever.

Dowoon would have always gone to school with you, eat lunch with you and even go home with you but now he hangs out with the four other guys, practising to be a band. You barely got to see him anymore, it was as if he cut all ties with you. He didn’t just leave you, he abandoned you. Every morning, you would drag yourself to school feeling lethargic because of all the late night you had just thinking about dowoon. You would walk down the halls, people whispering in their ears while giving you a look of disgust. A rumour has been going around about you being adopted and also that your biological mother was a prostitute that had the inability to take care of you because she never knew who the father of her child was. You were absolutely clueless about what was going on. but… someone did… Dowoon and his crew heard the rumour thinking it was only a small matter but boy was he wrong.

In just a few days not only did the freshmen knew but so did everyone else. Everywhere you went, people would point and laugh. You never knew about it until a girl in your class approached you while you had your earphones in, in the morning. You had come to school early that day to avoid all the icy cold glares people gave you as you walked down the hallway and towards your classroom. 

You were listening to some music with your head on the table when someone lightly tapped you on the shoulder. If you remembered correctly her name was Nancy. You took your earphones out of your ears and put them on the table along with your phone. You turned to look at her waiting for her to say something.

“I know we’ve never talked since school started but have you heard the rumour that’s been floating around about you? I was wondering if you knew about it because if I were to be in your place, I would’ve just run away” she spoke with a tinge of sympathy in her voice.

You raised your eyebrows. “Rumour? What was the rumour about? ” you had no clue what was going on, what rumour could she possibly be talking about?

“I heard people saying you were an orphan because apparently, your mother was a prostitute and she didn’t know who your father was? That’s why she gave you up for adoption” when you heard that, you felt so sick to your stomach that you wanted to vomit. You were on the brink of tears about to the break anytime soon. Was that how people look at you everytime they saw you wandering around?

“W-who told you that” you manage to croak out without your tears falling. Nancy just shook her head patting you on the back trying to comfort you. You just waved her off telling her to go back to her seat before the bell rings any minute. You looked to your left where Dowoon sat happily talking to Wonpil who sat in front of him. Just then, it dawned upon you how much of an outcast you were; not only did no one talk to you but even your one and only friend whom you considered to be your best friend for years turned his back on you. Dowoon looked so happy that you not only did you feel unwanted but also neglected. Maybe some of them were right, you didn’t deserve someone like Dowoon as a friend.

You swiftly got by the first three lessons of the day, trying to hold every emotion you had inside of you stay without your tears falling, that when the time finally came for lunch break, you briskly walked up to the rooftop with your phone in your pocket and your lunch box in your hands. Wonpil noticed you rushing to gather everything you needed for lunch that he was curious as to how you were doing despite the absolute lie that’s been going around. Dowoon had told the members that the rumour that’s been going around about you wasn’t true because knowing you for more than half of your life, he knew almost everything about you, except the hidden emotions you’ve kept deep inside for far too long. 

Dowoon thought the issue would’ve been resolved soon enough so he told his bandmates not to do anything regarding the subject but it only got worse from there. Almost everyone knew about it.

Wonpil excused himself from the boys to follow you up to the rooftop because he’s worried you’d do something that can harm yourself. You sat on the bench, hair blowing in the wind with your lunch box and phone on your lap. You looked down at your phone, without hesitation, dialling in your mom’s handphone number then putting it beside your ear. At that point in time, your tears just won’t stop flowing out of your eyes.

“Mom, I don’t know what to do,” you told your mom, the sound of your cries being choked in the palm of your hands.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” you could hear how worried she was just by her voice. You really didn’t want to tell her knowing your mom would freak out but you had no choice.

“Mom, can you pick me up after school? I’ve been having a really bad week and I just really want to get out of here” you say as you looked down tears still rolling down your cheeks.

“Y/n-ah, I don’t know what’s going on but be sure to tell me later alright? Don’t be afraid to tell me anything, mummy will be here for you. I’ll see you later darling, just wait for a little while more and I’ll come pick you up after school. I love you sweetie and stop crying, I’m here” she says as she tries to comfort you.

“I love you too mom” you reply back mumbling, still trying to stop tears from falling. You pulled your phone away from ear ending the call as you let your tears continuously rolled down from your face to your lap, allowing the emotions buried deep down inside of you rise. You were bawling your eyes out when you heard someone open the door to the rooftop. You quickly tried wiped the tears from your face, trying not to make it obvious that you’ve been crying for the past few minutes. You really didn’t want anyone seeing you be so vulnerable not even Yoon Dowoon.

“It’s just me Wonpil, you know, Dowoon’s friend. I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with you and your mom earlier but I just really wanted to know how you were doing?” he says as he takes a seat to your right, looking at you for you to only have your head down with your hair covering your face.

“W-why are y-you here, shouldn’t y-you be with your friends in the cafeteria?” you mumbled to yourself, loud enough for him to hear.

“I told them to head there first, I wanted to check on how you were doing, you know after that awful rumour that went around a few weeks ago.” You looked up at him, it’s been a few weeks ever since it started?

For weeks you had to deal with everyone’s glares, hurtful words were thrown at you, notes, telling you how useless and pathetic you were, fell out every time you tried to get something out of your locker. Everyone would laugh at you, no one tried to help you. Was that the reason why dowoon no longer wanted to be associated with you? Did he not want to be friends with someone who had a terrible reputation? Was that why he eventually just left?

“Wonpil-ssi, why didn’t Dowoonie tell me? Am I a terrible person? Is that why I’m all alone? Is that why nobody likes me?” You ask as you look up to him as tears continue rolling down your cheeks. Wonpil felt really bad seeing you cry because of that stupid rumour everyone believed to be true. He pulled you closer to him, placing your head on his shoulder as he put his arms around you.

“Y/n-ah, it’s not what you think. Me, Dowoon, Sungjin, Jae and Younghyun wanted to help you out… We just thought the issue would’ve already died down but we were wrong. I’m- we’re sorry for not trying to stop it. You’re not a terrible person Y/n-ah, in fact, you’re the nicest girl I have ever met. I see you greeting the janitors every day, helping the gardeners outside water the plants and basically helping other people out when they needed a hand. I know it’s hard for you right now but we’ll help you get you through it. Trust me, we will.” he pats your back, wipes your tears off your face and hands you his handkerchief. 

“then why did he leave me” he snapped his head to look at you, he wondered who you were referring to, was it Dowoon?

“I’m sorry for crying in front you,” you tell him, dabbing your eyes with his handkerchief.

“No worries” he replies, grinning brightly. “Do you maybe wanna head for lunch with me to meet the boys?”

“You mean with Dowoon there too? He doesn’t mind me tagging along?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, are you and Dowoon in a relation-” before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off.

“NO!” you exclaimed, “we’re just friends, well we were friends”

“what happened to you and Dowoon? Aren’t the both you still friends?”

“It’s just that after he met the four of you, everything he did when he was with me, he now did with you guys, it just felt like he’d rather be with all of you than be with me. I mean who wants to be friends with a loser like me” you hung your head down low once again, feeling your heart slowly breaking into pieces.

“And who told you that? We’ve just been practising for the battle of the bands that are coming up in a few weeks, I guess that’s why he doesn’t get to spend time with you and on behalf of the boys, we’re sorry we took him away from you if it looked that way. As for Dowoon, I don’t think he meant to neglect your presence, you know how much of perfectionist he is when it comes to drumming right?” you nod your head in agreement. “See, and besides he talks about you all the time. He talks about you SO much, the boys and I wish he’d just shut up at times.” you raised your head to look at wonpil.

“Are you sure? why didn’t Dowoonie tell me about the rumour that went around,” you ask him, hoping he would give you an answer.

“I think it’s best if you talk to him yourself, so the both of you can clear things up. Now let’s head down for lunch before time’s up” he helps you carry your lunch box and swiftly grabs your wrist heading for the cafeteria where the boys were at. You put your phone along with Wonpil’s handkerchief in your pocket.

When the both of you entered the cafeteria, it was full of students mingling among themselves but when they noticed that you’ve walked in with Wonpil holding onto your wrists, they all then started whispering, eyeing you up and down in disapproval. You were quick to hide behind Wonpil while looking down, hating the amount of attention that you were currently getting. He noticed your feeling of discomfort and walked even faster towards the table where the four of them stayed seated, conversing. Only when you were nearing the table did you hear Jae shout out something to wonpil.

“You told us to head first so you could bring y/n with you?” with the mention of your name Dowoon snapped his head in your direction where your head still hung low. “That’s very smart of you Wonpil-ah, you can finally do something right for once” Jae continues teasing him.

Wonpil places your lunch on the table and lays the food out for you. He then handed you your utensils, shifting down the bench so you had enough space to sit. Once you’ve sat down, the boys introduced themselves one by one.

“I’m Sungjin, the leader of the band, I have the worst role” he whispers in your ear “I have to look after these idiots every day” you giggled while Jae glared at him, kicking him in the shin under the table, Sungjin groans in pain.

“You giggling is my new favourite thing now, anyways, I’m Younghyun but you can call me Youngk,” he says smiling brightly, you slightly blush from his comment. He hissed at Dowoon as he shoved him. Did Dowoon still care for you? you thought.

“I’m Jae the coolest member around” he exclaimed, winking in your direction. You just laugh and all four pair of eyes were on you as if you grew another head. This was your first time laughing in front of someone besides Dowoon and they found it endearing.

“You guys are really funny. I’m y/n, nice to meet all of you” you told them as you bow slightly in their direction. Everyone made an effort to have a conversation with you except for one particular person, Yoon Dowoon.

For weeks, you didn’t attend school. It was really weird opening up to Wonpil since you’ve never talked to him much before besides schoolwork, but you surprisingly felt comfortable around him.

You had told your mom everything, from Dowoon neglecting you to the rumour that went around the school. She never would’ve never thought Dowoon would do such a thing because the both of you were inseparable but sometimes things just don’t go the way you want it to.

You had asked your mom for permission to take a break from school to be able clear your head. She questioned your decision but looking at how emotionally unstable you currently were, she wanted you to take a breather. 

Back in school, the boys were worried about you. They thought things would get better for you if you sat with them for lunch. They wanted you to feel like you were now apart of them but the following week you didn’t turn up for school and they pondered whether they should visit you to make sure you were okay. Dowoon felt really guilty despite not knowing what he had done to feel this way. Wonpil on the other wanted to tell him so badly but he wanted you and him to patch things back up yourselves. However, he felt bad that Dowoon had been oblivious to the situation and decided to tell him anyway.

Wonpil had pulled Dowoon away from the group to talk to him in private. 

“Aren’t you worried about y/n?” he says, disappointment evident in his voice.

“Of course I am, I know just how much she hates missing lessons, let alone being absent from school” Dowoon retorted, “I just feel so guilt-ridden. It feels like I’m held responsible for the reason of her absence” he puts his hands in his pockets, unsure of why Wonpil was acting this way. “I know it’s none of my business to bug in but you really need to talk to y/n. I talked to her the other day and she asked me why you left her and wondered if the rumour was what made you leave. She’s been in the rough for some time now and you weren’t there for her like you promised you would be. It’s best if you talk to her before she slips out of your reach dowoon-ah.” wonpil the pats dowoon on the back waiting for him to process everything he had just spoken to him about.

“I had no idea... All this time I felt so lonely... It was because she wasn’t in the picture. I’ve spent most of my time on my drums to notice I was hurting the girl that has stood by my side for years.” the memories of when y/n would watch him practice for hours just came to mind and he missed those old times. You were practically always there with him through every bump in the road. He wanted you back even if it meant that you won’t forgive him that easily, he just wanted his best friend back and that was you.

All you ever did at home was sit on the couch as videos of you and dowoon were playing on the tv in front of you. Your mom had already gone to work and your dad was a businessman overseas, so you were usually by yourself one way or the other. You can’t help but feel depressed at how much things have changed between the two of you. You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of the doorbell resonating in the whole house. You dragged your feet towards the front door, hair in a mess and still in your pyjamas, thinking who came over this early in the morning. You took a glance at the clock and It was only 7a.m.

You opened the door slowly not wanting to entertain anyone for today but as you looked up, your eyes met a pair of familiar ones. What was he doing here you thought?

“Hey y/n, is it okay if I come in? I need to talk to you about something and it’s really important” he says scratching the back of his head, this is the first time he has spoken to you in ages and you really didn’t know how to react. So you just nodded your head, moving aside as you let him in the house. He makes himself comfortable on the couch as he waits for you to take a seat beside him only to realise that videos of you and him were still playing on your TV. You followed his line of sight and you instinctively grabbing the remote turning the device off.

Dowoon shifts closer to you and holds your hands. “y/n-ah, I’m sorry for what I have done, I really didn’t mean to leave you in the dark..., It’s just that I want to prove to my parents how serious I am about this band that we formed and in the process, I forgot the most important thing there is, you. About that stupid rumour, the boys and I wanted to help stop the wildfire from spreading but it got too big that it was beyond our control. I’m sorry for neglecting, I really am. I just really want my best friend back y/n-ah”

“I don’t know what to say Dowoon-ah... I forgive you, I really do but it’s just really hard for me right now and I—” you stopped mid-sentence when dowoon decided to pull you towards him, tightly embracing you. “D-dowoon-ah what are you doing?” you asked, pulling yourself away from him but he won’t let you.

“Can’t we stay like this for a little while more? I missed you y/n-ah, I really do” he says, sounding very genuine that you understood once again how impossible it was to stay upset at the boy for too long. He held you even tighter and in response, you hugged him back, reassuring him that you had forgiven him. 

[srsadvincula]

Chapter 1: Welcome, Rotonda!

My views and opinions do not reflect that of the website and its management. Furthermore, the views and opinions of the people involved in my posts do not reflect mine, this blog, or this website. Also, the following scenes and languages may only be suitable for some young readers. Reader discretion is highly recommended.

Kumustasa Kalabasa! Welcome to my official blog site! Here, I share my experiences and thoughts that I have kept in my heart and mind for quite some time. This is like a diary where I pour out my secrets and let you take a peek into my world. This blog will cover the gray areas and what you want to know about me. I am excited to share my journey with you, and I hope you will join me as I open up about my life. Whether it's about my interests, advocacies, struggles, or victories, I promise to be as honest and open as possible. So, come and take a seat, and let's start the journey together.

Kaya naman kung sa tingin mong hindi mo nakikita ang sarili mo na magiging totoong kaibigan ko in the near future ay may pagkakataon ka pa para umalis sa page na ito at kalimutang minsan kang nakarating dito dahil ako na mismo ang nagasasabi sayong hindi ka makakatagal sa mga chika at talak ko dahil sobrang haba. Kung tingin mo naman ay magkaibigan talaga tayo then, ang page na ito ay para sayo. Dito mo matutuklasan yung ibang mga bagay na hindi ko nasasabi noon. Perfect avenue na rin ito para magtanong ka sa akin anonymously sa mga susunod kong mga post para naman walang sisihan sa mga tanong at sagot. Tara, simulan na natin ang unang bahagi ng aking page, ang introduction na puro kuwento.

The Basics

My name is Toei, also known as Rad by my parents, relatives, classmates, and close friends. I was born in Marikina City and spent most of my childhood in Quezon City, where I finished my studies. Growing up, I learned to speak Tagalog and English fluently and later picked up Korean through my love for K-pop. I can also converse in Cebuano Bisaya, Waray, and Mandarin Chinese, which I learned from my travels and exposure to different cultures. Recently, I have been trying to learn Ilocano, Kapampangan, Japanese, Thai, and Vietnamese to expand my linguistic horizons. Moreover, I can also write in various writing systems, including the traditional Philippine scripts of Baybayin, Hanunuo, and Kulitan. I currently work as a customer service representative in an in-house contact center in Pasig City.

I have two families - my biological and adoptive families. My biological father used to work as a bus driver, while my biological mother worked as a domestic helper. I am the result of their forbidden relationship. Though I was able to meet my biological father twice, I have not had the chance to meet my biological mother since I was born. Despite their situation, they chose to give me up for adoption, and a couple took me in.

As an only child in the adoptive family, I grew up knowing that my adoptive mother had an operation that made it impossible for her to have a baby. Unfortunately, my adoptive father chose to leave my adoptive mother for his mistress, separating them. At a very young age, I had to learn to be independent and navigate life independently. Though my circumstances were difficult, I am grateful for the love and support my adoptive mother provided me, and I am proud of the person I have become today.

As a gay and proud individual, I believe in using my voice and platform to advocate for important causes, such as HIV and AIDS awareness. Aside from my passion for advocacy work, I also enjoy exploring new cultures through food and travel. In my free time, I channel my love for animals by rescuing cats, and I currently have ten furry friends at home.

The Purpose

The platform I created serves a multifaceted purpose. Firstly, it allows me to share my thoughts about anything under the sun, expressing myself freely and without inhibition. Additionally, I want to use this platform to share my knowledge in several fields, passing on what I've learned to others and hopefully help them along the way. Furthermore, I aim to use this blog to share my advocacies and passions, inspiring others to take action on issues that matter to them.

In doing so, I aim to clarify any issues around me, setting the record straight and dispelling misunderstandings. This blog also serves as an opportunity to clear the gray areas and can of worms created by my biological and adoptive family, allowing me to put these issues to rest and move forward with a clear mind. Ultimately, this blog is a tool for self-expression, growth, and advocacy, and I am excited to see where it takes me.

The Plan

As of now, there are several things that I am focused on achieving. Foremost, I want to ensure that all my bills are paid and updated, giving me peace of mind and financial stability. To help manage the stress of demanding workloads, I plan to travel occasionally, taking some time to relax and unwind. I also hope to meet new people who share my interests and values, allowing me to expand my network and find a sense of community.

In doing so, I also plan to declutter my circle of friends, letting go of those who only seek my company when it benefits them. Finally, I will continue to prioritize my advocacy work and passion projects, using my skills and resources to impact the world around me positively. By taking these steps, I am confident I will achieve the balance, growth, and fulfillment I seek.

The Future

I aspire for a future when the gray areas created by my birth and adoptive families are eventually cleared. I look forward to the day when others' one-sided arguments and reasonings are refuted, and my side of the story is heard and understood. As I look to the future, I aim to discover my happiness, satisfaction, and tranquility. I intend to forge deeper bonds with the folks who consider me a part of their circle as I reach this objective. I am prepared to make the challenging decision to let go of those who have hurt me too much in the past, even though I know that doing so will need me to do so.

I will continue to support causes that are dear to my heart and follow my hobbies with the same fervor and commitment as I always have in my quest for happiness. I will find the contentment I'm looking for if I stay true to myself and concentrate on the things that count. Above all, I imagine a world where people may get to know the genuine me without relying on hearsay or rumors. May we all aspire for a future where empathy, understanding, and open communication are cherished and respected, and everyone's unique stories are appreciated and respected.

You can visit my AskFM or CuriousCat sites to shoot me your questions. I will love to hear from you if you have any questions, comments, or feedback. Thank you again for your support, and I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you.