#my bets are Japan or America

[localgardenweed]

You thought i was done with just 1p?? No we going all the way. Same rules as before this is a DEFINATE answers they know by heart and get it first try not a hunch or a lucky guess

[museganjin]

@starrysharks 's v.a. angel just has this memeable quality to him

[mistyechoes]

what would be the disadvantages of using a sea turtle for a tmnt species

[rosy-hollow]

Toji...underestimates his own strength sometimes.

And you know this - the man has probably broken the furniture in your house far more times than you can count (by accident of course) but it still never failed to amuse you.

The two of you had met while you were on a business trip to Japan - and immediately the two of you hit it off after the burly man had saved you from some random drunk off the streets of Okinawa.

However, you were in Japan for a business trip - and thus once your time there was up, you were forced to move back to America.

It was a strange dynamic the two of you had, not fully long distance because you two always tried to fly in and spend time with each other as much as possible - and as much of a hassle that it was, you made it work.

Eventually, Toji had decided to move in with you in the United States, and to say the very least... it was a major culture shock.

Learning English was one thing (seriously, how many sounds can 'ough' make?!) but American life was a stark contrast to the Japanese way of living that Toji sometimes found it difficult to wrap his mind around.

You made it easier though. He would never admit it- but the only reason he went through all of this was because of you.

It was strange, Toji never thought he'd get so attached to someone that he'd uproot his entire life and move across the world just to be with the one he loved, but you made it worth it.

Your laugh, your smile, your kindness, your witty banter - Toji would move planets if he could just be with you a second longer. You were like a drug - addicting and euphoric. No amount of rehab could get him over you.

But the main thing about America that captivated Toji's interest? (other than you)

Football.

And by football, I mean American football. To Toji's knowledge, football was what the Americans called 'soccer', but here, football was a whole different story.

You had put it on one day, for the hell of it - you weren't entirely into sports that much, but you understood the basics of the game. Toji at first thought it was stupid, why the fuck would he give a shit about big beefy men throwing around a deformed ball?

But begrudgingly, your boyfriend got oddly into it, going so far as to buy you both matching jerseys and keep tabs on the progressions of each game.

You thought it was cute - how into it he got, yelling and pouting at the screen in ways that he would deny later on as if the players on the TV could hear him.

Tonight was no different, Toji relaxing on the couch with you pressed up against him, reading a book, with the semi-finals of whatever football tournament he was following - when suddenly:

CRASH!

You blink momentarily, beer dripping down your shirt as Toji stares what used to be his beer can, the can now completely decimated by your boyfriend's death grip.

You gape at him in shock - your boyfriend turning uncharacteristically bright red.

"Did you just-"

"Shut up."

"Toji, that's the third time this week-"

"I know-"

"You're so lucky it didn't get on my book or you'd be so dead right now."

A/N: in honor of the super bowl heh - toji would so be a football dad (he probably bets on the games all the time too)

[thirstkanaphan]

So here are my thoughts and predictions on the tour:

I am surprised to get a tour announced before a cb announcement, but the timeline puts us square into a May/June cb season (Xikers cb is in April, so I doubt they would promote at the same time)

I'm obviously excited for a new setlist and seeing them perform a new and bigger venues (Wrigley Field has a 45k capacity and the stadium im Mexico City has a 65k capacity!!)

CitiField the Sequel: The Reckoning

I'm also disappointed for the SEA, Oceanic, African, and LATAM atiny who have waited patiently for a tour and are understandably frustrated by this announcement which clearly favors Japan and NA atiny.

Like most of you, I also hope the members are rested and ready for what will be a marathon schedule (three concerts in a row at the same venue in Japan?)

Hongjoong has told us off before, they know their bodies and don't want us to "advocate" for them about rest and breaks. I always expected they'd do another tour this summer (just not this specific tour). Given they are at their peak of popularity both domestically and abroad, why would they pump the breaks now?

Here's what I'm speculating...

Whether or not the next cb is an EP or LP, it's already been recorded and the mv has likely already filmed. GH Part 2 was finished 5 months before cb, so if they're preparing for anything right now, it's for a Fall/Winter cb.

There's a 2 week gap with only 1 LA show listed, there's probably a LOT of promo they're scheduling in that week. I see this possibly coinciding with the upcoming kpop show on Apple+ with Megan Thee Stallion.

They just signed with a new tour company, AEG, which probably means they were contractually obligated to finish the Towards the Light tour start a new tour under their management.

What does that mean for us?

AEG has a strong presence in South America, SEA, and Africa so it's very likely possible this tour will be extended to other continents.

AEG also manages Coachella, and Coachella has a clause that performers must finish a North American tour 6 months before the festival. One theory is that Ateez will be invited back to Coachella in 2026 (blackpink did 2019 + 2022) so they need to get a North American tour finished first.

Given that Mexico City counts as North America, this makes more sense for why it's included on the tour list and other LATAM cities aren't.

I am optimistic that Ateez will have their tour extended with a couple of months between tour legs to different continents.

Here's my theory:

(Spring 2025) Comeback probably an EP

(Summer 2025) Japan + North America

(Q4 2025) Comeback maybe an LP this time? + Japanese single(s)

(Fall/Winter 2025 - Early Spring 2026) Asia/LATAM/??

(April 2026) headlining???

Does this make sense?

As for the setlist, we'll probably keep the core title tracks (+ Answer? Inception? Deja Vu??) and mix in some new/old b-sides (SELFISH WALTZ? MIST?! GOOD LIL BOY?!!!) and depending on the new album, I bet we get new unit songs OR some new solos. We can all see Wooyoung performing Sagittarius right?

Anyway, let me know what you think!

[paper-mario-wiki]

hey, can I ask you for some advice? sorry if this is uncalled for or you just can't answer this, I understand if so

how did you work up the courage to actually get to HRT so fast? I've found out I was a trans woman around when I was 15 and im about to have my 23rd birthday, and due to my financial/working/academic/housing (I live w my fairly conservative parents) situation it does not look like it's in the cards for me any time soon. but also I feel like I should just try to find a way and try to start out ASAP, for the sake of my own happiness. but also im afraid of whatll happen if things go Topsy turvy and I need housing from a family that thinks I'm a freak. how did you do it? again, apologies if this ask feels unwarranted or to big to ask to "Funny lady play tf2 dot blog", but I'm fine if this doesn't see an answer

First of all, I don't have insurance, so keep in mind that I did it out of pocket (note: I am broke).

I used Zocdoc (America only, sorry) to find a hormone therapy consultation, went to that appointment, and they referred me to an endocrinologist. After I got some blood tests done, I got prescribed a 30 day supply of sublingual Estradiol for about $16, again, without insurance. Now, this is of course in Biden's Seattle so it might not be as easy where you are. But at least for me, the process from booking the first appointment, all the way to taking the first pill was about half a month, because I got lucky finding a doctor. During covid, according to my endocrinologist, there was a HUGE explosion of people wanting to medically transition, so a very common thing I've heard is that a lot of doctors are booked out for months. I was lucky enough to get this appointment on Sep 1st, because the next person available in my area wouldnt have gotten me in until November.

Critically, here's my main piece of advice: You can't start until you take the first real action towards accomplishing it outside of your head. You can think, and plan, and crystalize how great it would be if it happened, but you have to actually make the first step and google "HRT doctors in my area", and schedule an appointment. To do it, you must first do it. This goes for many things in life. Simply starting the processes instead of keeping them in my head had me accomplishing many things I never thought I actually would, like starting HRT, going to university in Japan, and moving to Seattle.

Many people like me, including maybe you, are really good at getting in your own head and thinking of every possible way something could go wrong, or could be denied to you. And you get so tied up in the reasoning that you forget about the Doing. To the best of your ability, try to stop thinking, and just start doing. Anything. Choose to do something that you have wanted to for a while. Just one thing. Doesn't have to be buying a plane ticket to France, or confessing a huge secret, maybe start with that thought you had the other day of "ya know I bet pottery on those big goofy wheels is fun" and google 'pottery wheels near me' and see where it takes you. It's easier than you'd think to try. And who knows, at the end of this process maybe you'll have a beautiful vase. Or, even better, a vase with a personality, flaws, and a new hobby that you're excited to get better at.

[mangobabygirl]

Hi darling, i love reading your stuff. Its the first time i write to you but i have these recurring fantasy of watching luigi makeout with another man. Like, i had dreams of being in thailand and him being in a naughty/idgaf mood and persuading him to kiss another hot man and eventually leads up to a threesome. What do you think?

Oh my God anon this is so hot 🥵 I wish I had dreams about Luigi like that!

Okay hear me out on this one- AU where you, him, and Jack Schlossberg are in college together, the three of you getting shitfaced in Jack and Luigi’s shared dorm room off some off-brand Vodka and orange juice. You’re leaning your head against Luigi’s shoulder, hands tracing gentle circles on his thigh, snuggled closely together.

You couldn’t explain why, but you always felt you could be unconditionally affectionate with Luigi in front of Jack. It was just the vibe you got hanging around him. Jack was like a light switch; very flamboyant and theatrical in public, but intellectual yet easy—going in private. You never felt judged or uncomfortable in front of him; his warm brown eyes and charismatic smile always made you feel relaxed, accepted as you were to a point you felt you could tell him anything.

You were collectively 3/4 through the bottle of Vodka, and somehow, the conversation had shifted towards societal commentary. It wasn’t unfamiliar territory for Jack and Luigi to slip into this topic of discussion; the two of them talked about everything, from Japanese Shinto culture, to hiking and traveling, to the present state of the nation.

“..technology has created a profoundly asocial element in the fabric of modern society,” Luigi explained, “people aren’t fostering authentic social interactions with each other. They replace sex with porn, athletics with e-sports and video games. This is why hyper-industrialized countries like Japan have chronically low birth rates.”

Jack nodded, mulling it over in his brain for a moment. “You’re not accounting for the economic factors. Most people in America are living paycheck to paycheck, and the median income per person in America is only around thirty-seven thousand dollars a year. That’s not enough money for a single individual to live comfortably, let alone have to have children. And you know what- what I find the most frustrating out of this situation? It’s these Republicans making it worse. Their tax cuts are causing hyperinflation, which further squeezes the American family…”

You roll your eyes, pouring you self another drink of Vodka. You loved Luigi and Jack, you really did, but sometimes their tendency to get drunk and mansplain over arguments made you want to blackout on the spot.

Still, you couldn’t deny there was an unspoken tension between them. They were both perfectionists, and it felt like they were always competing to intellectually one-up each other. Luigi would talk to you about Jack all the time. He’d mention his senatorial internships, comments he made in class, grades he got on assignments. One time, Jack earned a 98 on an essay assignment in a Philosophy of Religion class he took with Luigi; Luigi earned only a 96. He was fuming for a solid week; when you came by before various dates, he’d look at Jack like he was pure poison, his casual, “see you later”s laced with unmistakable venom. That was also the week he fucked you roughly for the first time. “Mine, all mine,” he’d growl between thrusts and spanks, covering your body in bruises and marks of possession where you knew Jack would be able to see them.

“…why don’t we ask what she thinks?” Luigi said, squeezing your thigh and shaking you from your reminiscence, “‘Bet she has a different perspective entirely on the whole declining birthrates situation.”

You did, in fact, have an entirely different perspective on this birthrates situation. You wanted to bring up Marx’s theory of alienation, that humans are becoming more isolated each other because they’re degraded to cogs in the machine of a capitalist system, and the economic factors are just a symptom of unchecked capitalism working as intended, a perspective their homogeneous upper-class backgrounds would never have considered materially outside their introductory political science courses.

But the Vodka was starting to create a buzz, and you felt overconfident, emboldened to say what was truly on your mind.

“I think you two should shut up and just kiss each other.”

The words leave your mouth without second thought, hanging in the air between the three of you like a thick, uncomfortable heat. Jack and Luigi laugh nervously, their cheeks blushing red, staring uncomfortably at you, then each other.

“I mean- I wouldn’t necessarily oppose..” Jack stammers out, trailing off as Luigi scotches closer to him, like he was challenging him to finish his sentence. There’s an intensity, a fire in Luigi’s eyes as he stares Jack down, his thick brows furrowed in a display of calculated dominance. It was as if he was torn between fighting him or fucking him.

“Yeah?” Jack smirks at him in response, unintimidated in the slightest. In fact, Luigi if nothing emboldened him, his brown eyes gazing wildly into Luigi’s shamelessly, “what would happen if I just-“

You watched his hands slowly maneuver their way up Luigi’s leg, gently stopping to rest on his bare-upper thigh. A queen’s gambit if you ever saw one.

Luigi gasps, his cheeks glowing red-hot. Jack’s smirk widens to a smile, as if Luigi fell right into his trap, everything set in perfect motion.

That is, until Luigi grabs Jack by the jaw, closing his eyes and locking their lips in a bruising kiss. You watched their mouths move urgently against each other’s, their lips enveloped in desperation, tension and petty jealousies collapsing into an insatiable hunger. You hear Jack moan desperately into Luigi’s mouth, Luigi grunting in response as he leaned harder into the kiss, the wet sounds of their smacking lips a symphony to your ears.

The two separate breathlessly, chests heaving, heartbeats beating so loud you swore you could hear it pounding in their chests. Luigi’s fingers graze Jack’s cheek as he looks down at him, their gaze starry-eyed as they stared into each others depths.

Something within the room shifted as they looked back at you, the three of you eyeing each other with a mutual understanding of what was to come next.

Luigi reaches for your hand, grasping it lightly, rolling his thumb over your palm.

“Get on the bed, princess,” he says.

[diedraechin]

[Sneak Peek] What Chapter are we on now????

Chapter 52? Really? Damn.

Anyway, I have like one half of a scene to write before giving this to Io to edit, but I didn't want you all to think I've forgotten you since we're in the midst of the Grand Prix series. Besides the spills in the Skate Canada Men's Short (I'm still in the process of watching) reminded me of the even splattier place I left you hanging... So I thought I'd give you some fan chatter from the stands as a treat!

I did cut a bit out for length because I needed the set up but wanted to end on a specific punchline. So just know that there is more back and forth as a certain pole dance instructor gets a Katsuki lesson... 😉

“Ok. I found it.” Tabitha squinted at her phone. “He’s skating in the second to last group according to Skate Trails.” She looked away from her phone and over at her wife. “I don’t really keep up with Men’s though, so I can’t tell you anything about Katsuki.”

Jade just shook her head and leaned back into her seat. “That’s fine. I just wanted to see if we’d missed his skate because it’d be nice to see how he does.”

“I didn’t realize that you were a Katsuki fan!” One of the women behind them leaned forward. Jade and Tabby had chatted with her during the Pairs event earlier before going off on their antiquing adventure with the friends they were staying with during the break between the Pairs event and the Men’s. Though they’d ended up missing most of the first two groups all together since dinner had gone long. Still, it was kind of nice to see a familiar face. While Jade had known this was going to be an all day thing, it was really an all day thing.

<snip snip for excerpt length>

“I heard that a Grand Prix thing is coming to Detroit.” Jade was just happy to have something to add to the conversation.

“Really?!” Tabitha looked at her. “To Detroit? I haven’t looked to see where Skate America was going to be next season yet.”

Katsuki fan nodded. “Oh yeah. And I really hope that Yuuri gets assigned since he trains in Detroit because I will definitely drive down from Guelph if he does. I’d love to see him live again. And when the events are smaller like Grand Prixs, it can be easier to meet the skaters if they have the time and inclination.”

"Time and inclination? Katsuki?" No one could miss the snark from Newcomer, but given that she knew Yuuri wasn't the most...forward person, Jade didn't exactly disagree.

Katsuki fan smacked her hands on her thighs. "Let me dream!" Then she broke out into a wide smile and laughed.

“Looks like they’re going to let them onto the ice.” Katsuki fan’s friend said as she shook her friend's arm.

Jade and Tabitha turned around in their seats and sure enough, almost as soon as they settled, the announcer was declaring the start of the group and the skaters all took off onto the ice, some handing things off to the people standing on the other side of the boards as the six skaters scattered across the ice.

“I can’t tell who is who.” Jade said.

“Fluffy hair in the Japan jacket is Murata, he’s the other Japanese skater. Slicked back hair is Yuuri.” Katsuki fan said.

Over the speakers, the announcer started calling out the names of the skaters and the country they represented and each skater was greeted with cheers and applause even though none of the skaters broke from their warmup to acknowledge it. Behind them, Katsuki’s fan cheered for each skater but was especially loud when Yuuri’s name was called, shouting “Yuuri, Ganbaaaaa!”

On the ice, Yuuri unzipped his jacket as he headed to the boards and he handed it over to someone there.

“Oh my god! Is that Kai Tamm?! Kai showed up?! Hallelujah!” Katsuki fan certainly sounded overjoyed. “Should have been checking the forums, I bet her showing up was already mentioned.”

So did her friend. “My prayers have been answered! Do you think if I pray hard enough, he’ll come to his senses and go back to Alexei?”

Jade glanced over her shoulder at them.

“Kai is the assistant coach at the Detroit Skate Club that Yuuri works with. She’s the tiny Hawaiian woman next to the idiot Italian with the big hair who is supposed to be Yuuri’s coach. Sorry, I’m just from the side of Yuuri’s fandom who isn’t really pleased with how Cialdini is coaching our boy.”

And when Jade looked back, it was the woman who was talking to Yuuri as he nodded. Another skater came up and stopped in a way that sprayed Yuuri with ice, but Yuuri just leaned over and brushed the crystals off his black pants without looking away from the woman.

“Rude.” Tabitha muttered. “Shouldn’t he get in trouble?”

“It’s Michele Crispino. It wouldn’t be a competition where they competed together without Yuuri getting sprayed by a Michele hockey stop.” And as Newcomer finished their commentary, Michele left the boards, but not without patting Yuuri once on the shoulder. Without looking Yuuri held out a thumbs up to the other skater which Yuuri’s coach seemed to approve of since he looked like he was laughing.

“Michele is going to regret that because KAI IS HERE!” Katsuki’s fan cheered. A few people around them chuckled.

“Using the Goncharov (1973) soundtrack for his Free is reason enough for Mickey to come ahead of Katsuki!” someone commented.

“Are you a Mickey fan or a Goncharov fan?” Newcomer asked.

“Does it matter?” came the reply.

[yantalia545]

can I request yandere England, America, France, Japan and Italy with a darling that has depression? I love your content, it's genuinely written so well!

Thank you so much! I'm so happy to see that people genuinely like my work :)

England:

He has taken note of the frequency in which you've been visiting your local pub as of late and your sloppy choice of clothing. Even the way your hair had begun to lose its shine. England tried to comfort you on it. But let's be honest, nothing is comforting when someone comments on how you've let yourself go. He did leave the pub that night with a bruise on his cheek, so guess that's fair.

He really should learn that it's nice and gentlemanly to make comments on a woman's looks. So what if she's wearing the same sweatpants from three days ago.

England did look into your politics and saw that your government was currently going through the biggest economic crisis it's ever had. People were of course blaming you for their downfall regardless of you working tirelessly day and night just trying to stay afloat.

"You know, things wouldn't have gotten this bad for you if you just accepted my offer to be my wife," England stated as he casually sipped his drink.

You could only send a drunken glare his way.

"You know this is all your fault. You have no one to blame but yourself." He added.

"I'd rather fuck the devil than spend one night in your bed." You slyly threw his way before downing another shot.

"No need to darling, it seems the he has already had its fun toying with you."

You glare hardened. You'd ask for him to be removed but he's already paid off the bartender and bouncers. "I know this all you, so cut the crap. You just have your dick bent because I turn you down flat."

"You really should slow down on the drinking my love or the next thing to leave you will be your good name. Now all you can manage to spit out is lies and batters."

"You'll never take my last name from me." You grumbled, sinking into your chair.

"We'll see to that, love. You know charades don't stretch for eternity."

Japan:

Have you had anything to eat today? How often have you drunk water today. You really have lost the motivation to care for yourself ever since you lost the baby.

The two of you were so happy when you were expecting. Japan was beginning to think that you were finally coming around to him. You even hand-painted the nursery. That was until the faithful day you two were told that the baby didn't have a heartbeat.

It was like you gave up entirely. Creating a beautiful grave in the backyard for the child you never got to have did nothing to ease your pain.

Japan sighed as he came home to see you've made no effort to get out of bed today again. You only laid there snuggling a stuffed bear dressed in the clothing you wanted to bring the baby home in.

He was worried about you. He knows this is hard. It's hard for him too. Japan was so excited to have the opportunity to start a new chapter of his life with you. He even tried to consult England to see If maybe a spell could do something to ease your pains, but there were none. In fact, this was a common occurrence for countries. Personifications just can't have children like normal humans.

"It's a lovely day today. Maybe (B/N) would like it if we visit them today?" Japan offered; Trying to cheer you up.

You made an indication of his presence other than a sad grunt.

"It's almost summer now. We could go out and pick some beautiful summer flowers for them too. I bet the new scenery would make them very happy." He continued. Hopeing that something will motivate you.

Slowly, you got up. The bags under your eyes were sunken and dark. You were obviously crying today. Japan slowly made his way over in careful strides. He didn't want to set you off. Occasionally, you'd yell about how this was all his fault. That the stress of being held captive was what killed your baby.

That stung him more than anything. If it was true, Japan hadn't taken his responsibilities as your husband seriously enough and let your health slip because of his own feelings. Due to that, he caused you to lose your baby.

You made no effort to fight him today. For the first time since you had the operation to rid your womb of your passed child, he embraced you softly. You didn't even struggle.

"We'll get through this together."

France:

His darling...is depressed? No, no, no this won't do. This is not what was supposed to happen. You were supposed to dive right into his arms and see that this was the perfect thing for the both of you. Now nothing will keep you two apart. You'll be safe from this dirty world and he, your valiant prince, saved you.

He understands that change can be a difficult task for some and takes your tantrums with patience, but laying in the same spot for hours crying? That won't do. Don't you see darling? This is a good thing. You'll never have to worry about the world outside these walls ever again and nothing will ever hurt you. It's just the two of you now.

France will question everything that could be out of place and not to your liking, besides himself or his actions. He's only following his heart. He knows that the world can be a terrible place and he only wishes to shelter you from it. Just give it some time. You'll see. This is a good thing.

He'll do anything and everything within his power to see that beautiful smile again. Do you wish for jewelry? Or maybe some art supplies? What about a new craft that you've been wanting to try? France will provide you with everything, besides your freedom.

America:

Things haven't been the same since he found you again. It was very sneaky of you to hit him over the head and run into the night. Luckily, it takes more than just a hit in the head to take down a nation, and with all his friends in the F.D.A., it didn't take long to bring you back to him; Kicking and screaming.

You had nowhere to run. No one to turn to when running up against America. The police were on his side and your friends were long dead. Courtesy of your one and only. The only thing you could do in a last-ditch effort of retaliation was to cry.

No one was coming to save you, your 'hero', was already by your side And besides, how many times have you tried and failed to outwit him now?

America is no fool, He can see the pain he's caused you, but frankly, he's gone too far in this to turn back now. The damage has already been dealt, and if you continue to avoid him, deny your destiny, there will only be more.

He'll try to talk to you himself but when he's only met with more tears and screams, he'll be in the best psychologist money can buy.

Don't try to use them to worm your way out of here either. They're already aware of your situation and have been paid handsomely upfront. Besides, they're expendable. If America has to rehire a new psychologist then so be it.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

I can't believe I didn't say anything about the seduction attempt!

It was during a colaboration with a few international heroes, one of the women took a look at Ingenium and decided 'I WANT!'

The rest of the Japanese Heroes that she talked about, were very clear that "Ingenium has been in a very public relationship with two women he adores."

She snorts, it's not like he'd be the first man with a girlfriend she'd seduce.

What happens is a succession of comedic errors whenever she attempts to do so.

She blows up after two weeks, and explains what she's been trying to do, thinking Ingenium was dense and not getting the clues.

Only no. Tenya has been fully aware of what she was attempting (it took a while, but he was very aware that he was a very physically attractive man) he was just ignoring it since he has no interest on anyone but his girlfriends.

She didn't show up the next day, and avoided Ingenium during the rest of the colaboration. Not out of embarassment, but chaffed Pride, because apparently EVERYONE else was also aware of this. Including a very vindicated coworker whose ex-boyfriend had been a target.

Tenya only sighed when he explained the situation in the group chat, only to discover that there was a bet going on. Ochako was the only one that bet on him being the target of seduction.

Monoma's girlfriend is also a theater child and very dramatic, and "What's the Tea!?" is very popular in the Hero Community, while Hagakure's wife works there part-time when she doesn't have photoshoots. She's also good friends with Ojirou and is trying to set him up with a fellow coworker.

The Trio love their two daughters, as do their families.

Tsu and the others from Class A and Class B with Mutation Quirks, started an organization and each one of them has at least one T-shirt with sassy comebacks towards discrimination, with all proceeds going to charity. Kouda has one with 'Sorry, I understand animals, not Bigots.', while Shouji's most popular one says 'You can't even look me in the eyes, why should I care." Kamakiri has one that says 'While you were busy being a Bigot, I studied the Blade!', and Jurota's most popular T-shirt says 'Fortunately for you, I am a proper Gentleman.'

They're all insanely popular.

Oh man that's better then my thought and I love it. This is also how the Trio kind of get world wide press because someone catches this on camera and it is viral fast. The heroine gets her ranking tanked and everyone is all over this trio.

You then get more idiots thinking they could have a shot because they're hot/they are better for whoever. One memorable time someone legit though to just join all three which didn't go well. At all. Sorry/not sorry they aren't into you.

Doesn't help while everyone respects them we do have the really weird fans convinced they're better for their idol or someone else is better for them and write like a lot of fanfiction over it.

Usually they kinda just… ignore it. Fans are weird.

Monoma’s girlfriend is the drama queen of them all and she was an aspiring actor before she lost almost all her money thanks to her ex. She'd been going to school in America with dreams of Broadway but got into a really bad relationship with a passport bro who was thrilled he didn't have to go to Japan to land a ‘Asian Housewife’ stereotype. Her scammed her out of a lot of money, she snapped, kicked his ass and went home to open a tea shop. She still sings and acts but lost her interest in going professional. Thanks Derek.

Hagakure’s future wife is watching the screen and making plans on meeting her cutie soon. She has no regrets and is very excited.

The ‘Bigot’ line is very popular and of course some idiots try to launch their own brand of like ‘I am a Real Human’ or whatever and it just… it falls so flat. It truly does and its hilarious.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 02x09 - Rampaging Power of the Evil Ring / The Emperor's New Home

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The Chosen Children finally met Ken Ichijouji. Daisuke got the respect of his idol, Miyako got a new crush, Poromon got physical trauma, and Daisuke went back and got some emotional trauma out of jealousy. He called dibs first; All-a y'all fuck off.

Though they aren't partitioned in the usual "Part 1, Part 2, etc." way, this is actually part 2 of the previous episode, which ended kinda abruptly. We pick up not just where we left off, but a little earlier.

We open by replaying Ken's departure.

Ken: It's no coincidence. It's exactly what you think. Daisuke: It... It can't be. Ichijouji Ken! Ken: I'll concede defeat for today. But from now on, I'm going to fight you seriously. AHAHA AHAHAHAHA!!!

Ken pounces atop a passing Airdramon and whisks away to plot his next move.

Instead of sticking with Daisuke, however, we follow Ken back to his base of operations. Wormmon is waiting to greet the Kaiser, so I guess he fucked right off after Ken-chan fell down that hill.

When Ken approaches, Wormmon cutely squibbles over onto his foot.

Wormmon: Ken-chan, are you okay?

The Kaiser silently kicks Wormmon over onto his back and keeps walking. He enters his command center and takes his seat, silently watching the monitors.

Wormmon: The sun's setting. Ken: ...

On one of the screens, Ken's eyes are fixed on an interview he gave to a reporter.

Reporter: We're here today to take an honest look at the boy genius Ichijouji Ken. Ken: I haven't really done anything special. Reporter: You say that, but I bet you must be working really hard behind closed doors. Ken: No, not really. Reporter: They say genius is 1% talent and 99% sweat, don't they? Ken: I suppose.

1% 才能 saino and 99% 汗 ase is the same idea as "10% inspiration, 90% perspiration" but Japan has different proportions. I guess they work harder than we do.

That's okay. At least ours rhymes.

The dub skips over the replay of Ken's departure and starts right at him returning to his base. The ominous silence following him is immediately filled.

Wormmon: (thinking) Uh-oh. The Emperor's not in a good mood today, which is like every other day! Maybe I can cheer him up. Wormmon: Hey, Ken, did you hear the one about the man who--OOF!!! (Emperor kicks Wormmon over and keeps walking) Wormmon: I guess you heard that one already. (Emperor sits in his chair) Wormmon: Master, what are you watching? Emperor: ... Reporter: Join us as we talk with young genius Ken Ichijouji Ken: I'm just your average boy genius. Reporter: You're so modest! Do you spend a lot of time studying? Ken: Some geniuses do but I'd rather play soccer. Reporter: Ahaha! And funny too! They say genius is 1% brains and 99% hard work! Do you think that's true? Ken: Mine's 2%.

...we have a phrase for that. You could just use ours.

In the original, Wormmon points out that the sun's going down, implying that Ken should be heading home soon. Today's activities have finished. But he's not going home. He's here. Lost in his own mind and giving Wormmon the silent treatment again.

Dub Wormmon starts us off all wrong by describing Ken's mood today as "like every other day". Coupled with cutting out the repeat of his confrontation with Davis, and we're a little confused on the timeframe. This could just as well be a new day.

Reporter: By the way, you're still in elementary school so I'd assume you like animals. Do you have any pets? Ken: No, my family lives in a condo that doesn't allow pets. Reporter: Is that so? You live in a surprisingly normal place for a boy genius, don't you? Ken: I suppose.

Though the interview continues to play, the Kaiser isn't watching it directly anymore. He slumps in his chair, looking silently down at the floor, visibly depressed.

Reporter: In places like America, there's a grade skipping system in place so that even children your age can attend college. Would you like to skip ahead? Ken: Well, we don't have a system like that in Japan so there's not much point in thinking about it. Reporter: But if we did have a system like that, wouldn't you like to skip ahead? Ken: I suppose.

There's a pattern to these questions. Ken gives an initial response, the reporter then pushes him to talk about what an unrelatable super-mega ultra-genius he is, and Ken falls back on his shrugging non-answer.

In the dub:

Reporter: Eheh, you are funny! And to think you came from such humble beginnings in an everyday apartment building. Are you glad you're just a normal, average kid? Ken: Yeah! (snarky) There's absolutely nothing I love more than being average. Reporter: So, you've mastered chess, 3-D chess, and the Donkey Madness video game. Is there anything you can't handle? Ken: Hehe, reporters. Reporter: Aha! The big question on everyone's mind is: What does a genius do for fun when he's not solving complex math problems? Though I know that math is already more fun than most people can handle. Ken: Well, I'm always busy writing one of my computer programs. But like I said earlier, my favorite thing to do is play soccer. Reporter: I'm sure you'll be a big success at that too, Ken. I don't see how anything could possibly get in your way!

Ken's smug and self-assured here, but this otherwise comes off as a fairly normal interview. What they seem to be going for here is a bitter irony. The reporter kissing Ken's ass and Ken answering smarmily contrasted with the weight of the Kaiser's multiple defeats.

Flashing back, Ken recalls being there on that day.

Reporter: Thank you very much, and keep up the good work (ganbatte) on your studies. Ken: Thank you.

She gives Ken a pat on the shoulder, then departs. Ken is left alone with his teacher.

Teacher: Thank you for your effort, Ichijouji-kun. Ken: No, it was nothing.

Ken brushes off his shoulder as if trying to disinfect himself from being touched.

Teacher: No, you really helped us out. You've done wonders for our school's reputation. Ken: Well, I'm happy to be of service. Teacher: By the way, on a more personal note....

The teacher leans in conspiratorially as he makes his offer.

Teacher: Perhaps I could convince you to 'tutor' my daughter....

The predatory smile and lascivious tone in his voice as he quietly makes this offer make his true intentions pretty clear. He's trying to matchmake his kid with the boy genius. Ken shoots the teacher a sharp disgusted glare before composing himself.

Teacher: (more casually) What do you think? I would compensate you accordingly. Ken: Someone as young as me couldn't possibly be an appropriate tutor for a teacher's daughter. Please find someone else to do it. Teacher: (disappointed) That right? Yeah, I guess. Sorry, sorry.

And he's offering Ken a salary to do it. God, some parents are fucking gross.

Even without that, the teacher is subtly presented here as a predatory opportunist. Note that it's now been a recurring plot point that Ken's unparalleled skill and brilliance has no clear explanation. And yet, the teacher mentions Ken being a boon to the school's reputation.

The school is taking credit for the phenomenon that is Ichijouji Ken. While Ken's gross-ass teacher seeks to opportunistically claim Ken for his family lineage.

All of this, from the reporter to the teacher, serves to paint a portrait of Ken's life.

In the dub:

Reporter: Well, that about wraps it up. Thanks for your time, Ken. (pat) Best of luck. Ken: You're welcome! Teacher: That went well, don't you think, Ken?

Once the reporter's gone, Ken drops into his wicked voice that he uses as the Digimon Emperor.

Ken: Of course. I always look good to the press! Teacher: That 1%/2% stuff was brilliant! Although I'm not really sure I understand it! Ken: I'll explain it to you later. Teacher: There's something else you can help me with too! (Teacher leans in conspiratorially) Teacher: How do you get past Level 4 on Donkey Madness? I just can't get the scepter! (Ken shoots the teacher a sharp, disgusted glare, then composes himself) Teacher: Of course, you know I wouldn't tell anyone else your gaming secrets. Ken: (returning to public facade voice) I'd be glad to tell you everything I know! I'll even come over and help you play the game. That is, of course, if you don't think you're too old to be playing video games, hm? Teacher: (disappointed) Oh, yeah. Too old. I always forget that I'm an adult....

Censored that inappropriate request straight into the bowels of Donkey Madness.

Teacher: Oh! It's getting late. I should probably head home.

As the teacher departs, Ken turns to leave. But suddenly the teacher calls after him.

Teacher: Oh, right! Could I ask you for one more thing? Ken: What is it?

The teacher holds out his computer.

Teacher: Signature?

Ken autographs the teacher's laptop, making it out to the teacher's daughter Yuriko-chan.

Ken: Will this do? Teacher: YES, THANK YOU!!! Oh, the signature of the boy genius Ichijouji Ken! She's gonna be thrilled!

Taking the computer, the teacher finally leaves. Ken's face hardens as he watches his teacher walk away.

Ken: Tch!

Fuck everybody but also fuck that guy in particular.

In the dub:

Teacher: Oh! Look at the time. I gotta get to my Advanced Joystick class. (Ken starts to leave) Teacher: Oh! Could you do just one last thing for me, Ken? Ken: (annoyed) Rrrgh... What is it!? Teacher: Um... Autograph?

The dub edits Ken's autograph to read "Good luck with Donkey Madness!" in English, but oddly leaves the actual signature itself in Japanese.

Ken: (patronizingly) Here you go! Teacher: Thanks, Ken! You are the best! Even better than a graphics accelerator card! WOOF, the guys will be jealous! (Teacher leaves and Ken's expression turns to a glare) Ken: Fool!

In the dub's take on Ken's encounter with his teacher, all we get is that Ken's a condescending asshole. His teacher is nothing but supportive and encouraging. A bit of a goof, but undeserving of the hostility that Ken shows him.

From here, we return to the Kaiser's command center for a moment to see him still slumped down in his chair.

Wormmon: Ken-chan?

Still, Wormmon's concern falls on deaf ears. The Kaiser enters into another flashback, returning home. As he opens the door, his mother peeks out into the hall.

Mother: Oh, welcome home! Dinner is ready.

This exchange gives us a bit of an understanding of the timeframe we're working in. Ken eats dinner with his parents, so this is well before the practice of his mom delivering his dinner to his room on a cart became normal.

Mother: I saw you on the TV just now, Ken-chan. They were shooting over in the park, weren't they? Mama should have gone over to watch. Father: That was great! Especially that 1% talent and 99% sweat part!

Ken closes his chopsticks, places them on the table, and stands up.

Ken: I suppose.

That was the fucking reporter who said that you--

Mother: What's wrong? Ken: One second.

Ken excuses himself from the table and goes up to the roof, looking out through the fence at the city beyond. Grabbing hold of the bars, he screams at the top of his lungs.

Ken: YOU WORMS!!!

Linguistic note: The word Ken uses to deride the people around him here is 虫けら mushikera. This can generally mean "insect" but can also specifically refer to "worms". And is used as a derogatory insult to throw at someone who is beneath you.

I believe the more specific meaning is relevant here, as it creates an obvious parallel to his Partner Digimon.

In the dub:

Wormmon: Cheer up, you can destroy somebody tomorrow! (Flashback to family dinner) Mother: Oh, Ken, honey! Your dinner is ready, dear! (Ken comes inside) Mother: Ken, it's getting cold! It's your favorite, dear. Liver, squash, and lumpy mashed potatoes! Father: Saw you on the TV today, tiger. Soon you're gonna need a stick to keep all of the ladies away. Just like your old dad. Ken: (sigh; gently) I've lost my appetite. (Ken stands up suddenly, startling his parents) Mother: Well, what's the matter? Ken: Nothing.... (Ken goes up to the roof) Ken: Look at all of those fools out there. Dreaming away their meaningless lives. Running around like rats in a maze. Not one of them is worth half of what I'm worth! RRRRRRRGH!!! NOTHING BUT FOOLS!!!

Again, the thorns stuck in Ken are removed here, and he's just played as one-note egotistical shit. Throughout these flashbacks, all of the nuance that's here to flesh out his character and convey why he's so bitter, misanthropic, and self-involved get sanded off, replaced with jokes and wickedness.

Original Ken is alienated by the way the world treats him. Dub Ken alienates himself through his patronizing temperament.

Returning to the Kaiser's command center one more time, he rises from his chair, walks to what passes for a wall in this nebulous void, and types on an invisible keyboard.

Wormmon: Ken-chan... Right now, you're thinking about all kinds of complicated things... many of which I wouldn't be able to understand, huh?

The Kaiser doesn't answer. He silently keeps working at his console, filling the command center only with the sound of his keystrokes. On the screen, his Dark Digivice seems to be the subject of his programming this time.

Even though the sun's gone down and he should be getting home soon....

In the dub:

Wormmon: Master? Master? Master, I-- (Ken stands up) Wormmon: Oh! (Ken walks to his computer) Wormmon: Don't be depressed. I've got an idea. Let's grab some Dark Rings. We'll capture a couple of innocent Digimon and make their lives absolutely miserable. That should make you happy!

"The Emperor is depressed for no particular reason and thinking about how much he hates people" is as deep as the dub's reading of this whole opening goes.

With that, it's time to move over to the protagonists of our show. The dub takes its first commercial break here to mark this transition.

New day, new team meeting at Computer Club. And boy, does Daisuke have a whopper of intel to deliver.

Koushiro: The Digimon Kaiser is...!? Daisuke: Yeah! It's the boy genius Ichijouji Ken! Chibimon: I had a bad feeling about him!

Nice try, but no, you didn't. If anyone gets to claim credit for disliking Ken from the start, it's Iori.

Iori: How could someone so talented and brilliant do something like this? Hikari: I can't believe it.... Takeru: That reminds me. Last time I turned on the TV at home, they were talking about Ichijouji Ken. Koushiro: (considering) The Digimon Kaiser was this close to us... (announces) Let's look into this. Takeru: Eh? Into what? Koushiro: Let's get in direct contact with Ichijouji Ken-kun.

The inevitable next step from finding out who he is: We're going to go jump him in an alleyway and beat the shit out of him have a pleasant conversation with him in the human world and try to work out our differences.

In the dub:

Izzy: You mean Ken is the Digimon Emperor!? Davis: Right! And, as Emperor, he's not just a genius; He's an evil genius! DemiVeemon: And a super-evil genius at that! Cody: I just don't understand why such a talented and smart person would want to use their gifts to hurt others. Kari: He seemed so nice. T.K.: You know, there was a report on him on TV yesterday. I saw it on that show "The Genius Parade". Izzy: (considering) ... Kari: I can't believe the Digimon Emperor is a kid like us! Izzy: (announces) Let's find him. T.K.: What!? Find him!? Izzy: Yeah! We'll track him down and confront him outside the Digital World.

Mostly solid, though they take a moment to emphasize that Ken's super-mega-ultra-evil in case that didn't come across yet. The dub really does not want you sympathizing with the Digimon Emperor.

Also I just find it funny that Izzy makes the mistake of covering his mouth while he thinks aloud, allowing his kleptomaniacal costars to steal his line from him.

So, Koushiro has a plan but not everyone's interested in talking shop right now.

Upamon: Whatever, who cares. I'm hungry dagyaa! Koushiro: Ah, yeah. Miyako-san sure is late.

Summoned by the calling of her name, Miyako appears! Throwing open the door and entering Computer Club with an I-Mart bag full of her parents' financial distress.

Miyako: Hey-hey-hey! Sorry to keep you guys waiting

Four out of five Digimon dogpile on her bag, though Poromon hangs back.

Chibimon: CHOCOLATE!!! Tailmon: CHEESE FISH CAKES!!! Upamon: JELLY DRINKS!!! Patamon: ICE CREAM!!! Poromon: I want kanpyoumaki from Iori-san's mother! Miyako: (wryly) So, you don't want anything? Poromon: ACK!!! I DO, I DO!!!

Finally, Poromon joins the dining Digimon. The children watch their Partners ravenously devour it all.

Miyako: He's so picky about his food.

Look, just be glad that the part where you have to manually clean your V-Pet's poop off the floor has been quietly ignored. Gonna go out on a limb and say the Japanese team worked out a solution for that on Day 1 and the American team makes Davis do it.

In the dub:

Upamon: Does this plan include a part where we get to eat? Izzy: For you, anything! Hey, I wonder where Yolei could be?

She's getting the food. Did you not know that? What were you about to feed Upamon? Pencil shavings?

Yolei: Hey, everybody! Sorry I'm late but look what I've got! DemiVeemon: CHOCOLATE!!! Upamon: COOKIES!!! Gatomon: FISH!!! Patamon: ICE CREAM ICE CREAM ICE CREAM!!! (Poromon doesn't join the others) Upamon: You're the best, Yolei! You could be head chef of the cafeteria one day! Yolei: (wryly) So, you're not hungry? Poromon: WHAT!?!? (Poromon joins the others and they all dig in) Yolei: I'm surprised they didn't eat my arm right off.

Compounding consequences of past creative decisions. Poromon's unfulfilled desire to try that kanpyoumaki turning into an obsession has been a running joke that the dub has elected to ignore. Consequently, they're left with nothing to put here as to why Poromon held back and didn't join the others right away.

The result is a really awkward gag where Poromon needs to be encouraged to join in due to what is now a random and unexplained hesitancy.

Miyako: Also!

Miyako pulls a magazine out of her bag and holds it out to Daisuke.

Miyako: There's something in here about Ichijouji Ken. Daisuke: WHAT!?!?

Daisuke rips the magazine out of her hand so hard she grunts in shock.

Miyako: Ack! You don't have to be so rough!

Daisuke flips through the magazine until he finds what he's looking for. The article is about that programming contest Ken won, with the professor that was interviewed on the news. It also has a nice photo of Ken's pleasant smile.

Daisuke: Ahh, here it is! Iori: Just looking at this... He wouldn't seem like the kind of person who'd do those awful things. Hikari: He has a kind smile.... Takeru: Well, I guess appearances can be deceiving. Koushiro: Let me see that, please.

Koushiro takes the magazine and checks the article for himself.

Koushiro: Oh, it's this boy? I've seen him a few times.

Koushiro had no idea who were talking about this whole time. Junior team just started throwing the name Ichijouji Ken around as if everybody's been cyber-stalking him. XD

Miyako: He's what you'd call a real Chosen Child! Daisuke: (offended) What's that supposed to mean!? You saying that just because he's so smart!? Miyako: He's not just smart. He's got a pretty face too! Iori: He's also an exceptional athlete. Daisuke: WELL I'M SORRY THAT I'M NOT AN EXCEPTIONAL ATHLETE!!! Group: ... Koushiro: ^_^;; H-Hey... We should try contacting Ichijouji Ken-kun.... Daisuke: How?

Nobody points it out. They leave Daisuke hanging there in his self-inflicted humiliation.

In the dub:

Yolei: Oh! I found this! There's an article in it about Ken! Davis: (snatch) I'll take that! Yolei: HEY!!! You gave me a papercut! (Davis flips through and finds the article) Davis: Yeah, that's him! The evil kid! Cody: Who would think that such a normal-looking boy could be the Digimon Emperor? Kari: His smile makes him look so gentle.... T.K.: Uh, yeah, but his haircut makes him look like you, Kari.

Okay, fair criticism of the character design. XD

Izzy: Let me see it! (Izzy takes the magazine) Izzy: Ohhh, this kid! I've seen him on the news before. Yolei: Look at his IQ! He could program my computer any day! Davis: Are you crazy!? He may be smart but that guy is completely rotten to the core! Yolei: Well, he's not just smart. He's got dashing good looks, too! Cody: And he's also really athletic. Davis: Rrrrgh! Hey, I'm just as good at sports as that guy is! Group: ... Izzy: Okay, okay! Don't get your knickers in a twist, Davis! Let's just find him! Davis: What are knickers? Izzy: Never mind!

Solid. The dub plays Davis's awkward silence punchline in the opposite direction. In the original, the vibe is a sort of "...uh, you said it, not me...." awkwardness. While here it's a sort of, "...sure, man, whatever helps you sleep at night...." awkwardness.

Getting back on track, Koushiro teaches the junior team how to really cyber-stalk someone.

Sitting at the computer, Koushiro holds the magazine with one hand so he can study it while typing with the other.

Koushiro: Look at the background of this photo. Haven't you seen that somewhere before? Miyako: Now that you mention it.... Koushiro: This picture was probably taken around here....

On the monitor, Koushiro uses the cursor to circle a small area of a map. Hikari points at a spot.

Hikari: Oh, so then the building is here! Koushiro: That's right. In other words.... Daisuke: Ichijouji Ken lives somewhere around there!

In the dub:

Izzy: I'll use my map program to locate the apartment building behind Ken in this picture. Yolei: Looks like a nice place to live. Davis: Yeah, if living next to a heartless kid who wants to rule the world is nice! Izzy: If my calculations are correct, he should live... right around here. Kari: (points) Yeah! I know that area! Izzy: You smudged my screen! Davis: I think there's an apartment building right there under Kari's fingerprint!

XD That got me.

But also, "Have I mentioned in the last minute that Ken is super evil?"

The constant reminders of what a vile piece of shit he is almost feel like an overreaction to the original script playing him sympathetically earlier. But it's specifically Davis doing it, so it's more likely that they're playing up his "WHY ARE YOU ALL STILL IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY!?!?" freakout and extending it across the whole scene.

Daisuke is thoroughly disenchanted but Miyako is still crushing hard and even Iori's found nice things to say about him. So it does fit that Davis keeps reminding everyone that, uh, hey, we hate him. You remember that we hate him, right?

Cut to the Ichijouji residence. The sun's going down, and Ken's parents are getting a little nervous. His mother goes out into the hall, looking at Ken's closed door.

Father: Well? Mother: It looks like he's not going to come out today either. Father: He's been in there ever since that soccer game. He won't even go to school. What is he thinking!? Mother: What do we do? How are we supposed to handle this? Father: Did you talk to his teacher at school? Mother: His teacher said we should just let Ken-chan be Ken-chan. Father: The hell is that supposed to mean!? Mother: They said that he's so smart, we can't possibly understand what's going on in his head. So they've given up. Father: (angry) That's just irresponsible! Mother: What should we do? Father: Tell you what, I'm breaking down the door. Mother: EH!?!? Isn't that a bit excessive? Father: What else can we do!?

Ken's father smashes the door open with his shoulder, bursting into Ken's bedroom. But they don't find their suddenly solitary child avoiding school inside. The room is empty.

Ken hasn't been skipping school. Ken is gone.

Father: Ken!?

Ken's father goes out onto the balcony, but Ken isn't there either. While he's looking around, Ken's mother investigates his computer. And there, she finds his note left typed out on a note in the center of his screen.

Mother: PAPA, COME LOOK AT THIS!!!

Ken's father comes quickly, reading it out for us.

Father: What!? "I have no place in this world anymore. Goodbye, you worms." What's that supposed to mean!? Mother: WHY!? WHYYYYY!?!?

Mom's a bit quicker on the uptake. We know what Ken means by that but out-of-context, that's a suicide note. ...and in-context, it kind of is too. Ken made a choice after revealing his identity to Daisuke. Ichijouji Ken is dead to the human world. He's never going back.

In the dub:

Mother: Ken! Ken...? Father: What's up? Mother: Well, usually I hear the furious scribble of him doing math problems. But today, nothing. Father: Hmm, he's been awfully quiet since that soccer game. Mother: I don't want to barge in. I might set off one of his booby traps. Father: When you met with his teacher, did he say anything at all to you? Mother: No, all his teacher could talk about was something called Donkey Madness. Father: Donkey Madness!? Mother: I know! It's strange! I mean, we don't even own a donkey! Father: (angrily) Let's go in there! Mother: Oh, should we do that? Father: I say we break down the door! Mother: WHAT!?!? No, don't break it down! Father: Well, I've gotta break something! (Father breaks the door down) Father: Ken? (Father looks around while Mother finds the note) Mother: Ahh! Look at this! Father: What's this!? "Goodbye to all of you. Your trivial lives will plague me no longer. My destiny awaits." Rrrrgh NO!!! He's run away! Mother: (cries loudly)

Donkey Madness seems to have seriously triggered Ken's dad. He must not be very good at the game.

Unsurprisingly, Ken's phrasing is rewritten to definitely not be a suicide note, and Ken's dad even explains how we're supposed to interpret it. Can't go that dark on FOX Kids.

Since Ken didn't leave a body, he's going to be reported missing, not dead. So it's not that much of a change. Just a tonal one.

Outside the complex, the Chosen Children arrive... right around the same time as the police.

Daisuke: Is this it? Iori: (looking over papers) According to the map Koushiro-san gave us, it has to be this condominium. (Sirens grow louder as police cars approach the building) Miyako: Eh? Looks like something's happened. Group: ... Daisuke: Let's check it out.

The children hurry down the sidewalk to the front of the building, where they overhear three people gossiping about what's going on.

Gossip: Apparently Ken-chan from the Ichijouji family has gone missing.

Ken's parents are standing in front of the doors, giving testimony to the police.

Father: Yeah... I don't understand what happened.... Iori: Missing? Daisuke: Where would he go?

Cut to the Digimon Kaiser in his command center, working at his wall keyboard. Then we go to commercial.

In the dub, they actually are going with my joke suggestion to jump Ken and beat the shit out of him.

Davis: Here it is! This is the place where we stop Ken once and for all! Cody: (looking over papers) Okay, I wrote down a battle plan. (Sirens) Yolei: Uhhh, does it involve the police? Davis: Huh!? Group: ... Davis: Man, that kid's trouble! (The kids go around to the front) Gossip: Little Ken Ichijouji is missing and no one has any idea where he might be. Father: I think... he's run away from home.... Cody: Run away from home? Davis: I bet I know where he's gone! (Cut to Emperor's command center) Wormmon: Speak to me. Just two words. One, even.

Again, since he didn't leave a body, they can only say he's missing despite the dark tone of his suicide note. So here, the two tones shore back up with each other, though the dub's still taking care to emphasize that he's a runaway and not a missing person.

The dub also foregoes the commercial break here, kicking it out to later.

Following the commercial break, it's a new day. The junior team meets with Koushiro again at Computer Club.

Koushiro: Word is that Ichijouji Ken-kun has been missing since Sunday. Hikari: They didn't know he was gone until yesterday. Iori: And it's Tuesday today. Koushiro: (considers) Then that makes two days....

I appreciate Iori for giving us an exact timeframe but also it's funny that he needed to tell Koushiro that. Very awkward exposition.

Koushiro turns on the computer and brings up their territory map. It's covered in black squares.

Takeru: There's so many more black regions! Koushiro: It would seem that Ichijouji Ken-kun has been in the Digital World all this time. Daisuke: Eh!? Why!? Koushiro: He intends to remain there for the foreseeable future and steadily expand the black regions. Hikari: What does that mean? Takeru: Could he be planning to stay in the Digital World... And never come back to the real world!?

Iori picks up the magazine, looking somberly at Ken's smiling, seemingly happy photo.

Iori: ...he might be. Miyako: EHH!?!? He wants to spend the rest of his life in the Digital World? That's weird. Koushiro: In any case, this will make things much more difficult going forward.

It will. That's definitely true. Ken gets to be the Digimon Kaiser full-time now. They may have a numeric advantage on him but he just gained the advantage of time. He never has to go home or go to school. This is his life now.

The dub's already let Davis claim credit for the revelations that Izzy's about to give them, so it continues from that track.

Izzy: I think you're right. Ken is probably in the Digital World, but it's dangerous to just rush in there. Kari: But the longer we wait, the more time he has to plot against us. Cody: We need to make a new plan. Izzy: (considers) Hmm... We need to know what Ken's doing. Let's check the computer. (Izzy pulls up the map) T.K.: Does that mean what I think it means!? Izzy: Ken is taking over areas in the Digital World faster than ever before! Davis: Well then let's go! Izzy: We can't afford to be reckless! Remember the expression: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Kari: So what do you think we should do? T.K.: You know, being a fool is really low on my priority list but I can't just sit here and do nothing! (Cody picks up the magazine) Cody: Why do evil geniuses have to be so evil!? Yolei: Ugh! He doesn't look capable of causing such trouble, y'know! Izzy: Well, he is! And don't let yourself forget it!

I see where the dub is coming from here. The revelation of where Ken went is pretty obvious. For the Chosen Children, it's the first thing they should naturally assume, so it makes sense that the DigiDestined pick up on it immediately.

But that leaves them with nothing to discuss for this scene, so they end up vamping for time. Consequently, despite how obvious Ken's whereabouts are, the Chosen Children get to more closely examine the circumstances of his depature: How long he's been gone and what his intentions are.

Daisuke: We're going too! Iori: At this hour? Daisuke: We'll work something out!

According to the clock, we're coming up on 5 PM in a couple minutes. For context, the Japanese school day typically ends around 3. ...no idea what they've spent the last two hours on since it seems like "club activities" just started a moment ago.

Hikari: We should go anyway. Takeru: That's right. MIyako: We'll be right back. Koushiro: Please just take a quick look around and then come back right away. Daisuke: Got it! Miyako: DIGITAL GATE, OPEN!!! CHOSEN CHILDREN, LET'S ROLL!!!

I don't think they're coming straight back.

In the dub:

Davis: Well, I've had enough talk! The clock keeps ticking away and I'm getting ticked off! I want some action! Kari: He's right, so let's get it into gear. T.K.: Yeah! Yolei: I'm with you! Let's fight! Izzy: You've convinced me! No more hesitation! Davis: Excellent! DIGI-PORT OPEN!!! Yolei: Let's go get that evil cute guy! Izzy: I'll be watching over you. Good luck, guys.

The dub does some editing here. The original scene closes with a panning shot over everyone holding out their Digivices to transfer over, then cuts to a closeup of Miyako's face while she says her catchphrase.

The dub puts the closeup of Yolei first for her "evil cute guy" line, then goes to the panning shot of the group while Izzy says his extra line. It also plays the panning shot in reverse for some reason? IDK What that's about.

Then we go to the second commercial break and come back to Yolei's closeup again.

Yolei: IT'S GENIUS STOMPING TIME, LET'S GO!!!

And now they transfer over.

As the Chosen Children enter the Digital World, we cut to the Kaiser in his command center still typing away at his wall keyboard, and then they arrive.

Their destination is a volcanic region with fire shooting out of pits.

Miyako: So hot.... Daisuke: What's this place?

In his command center, the Kaiser's moved back to his chair. He's got a Digivice radar on the central monitor showing the Chosen Children arriving, as well as various screens showing Greymon.

Kaiser: They're here.

Wormmon hugs the Kaiser's ankle and nuzzles him. Ken kicks Wormmon away from him, then approaches one of the Greymon monitors. Wormon flails his legs helplessly on his side.

Wormmon: (teary-eyed) But Ken-chan, we'll be together forever now, won't we? (rights himself) I'm so glad.

Ken offers Wormmon no response. His eyes are fixed on Greymon, and he grins a wicked grin.

Kaiser: Huhuhuhu....

This is a healthy relationship.

In the dub:

Emperor: They're heeeeere... Heh! (The DigiDestined arrive in the volcanic region) T.K.: Look at this land of fire! It's like the movie Land of Fire! Yolei: (irritated) I know. Sure is hot! Davis: Five-star chili hot! (Cut to command center) Wormmon: Why don't you let me fight instead of capturing Greymon? Emperor: You fight? Hmph! (Wormmon nuzzles the Emperor's ankle and gets kicked off) Wormmon: I guess I'll take that as a no. (Wormmon flails helplessly on his side) Wormmon: (teary-eyed) Uh, Master, can I get a little help here? I'm having some trouble standing. (rights himself) I'm okay! (Emperor's attention is fixed on Greymon) Emperor: Hehehehehehehe.... That Control Spire will be their doom....

As usual, the emotional impact of Wormmon being battered and abused is painted over with goofiness and wicked banter.

Back in the volcanic region, the Chosen Children begin their march for the Dark Tower.

Daisuke: Where are you, Ichijouji Ken!?

Ken does not reveal himself, but several Meramon do. They erupt out of the lava pools to block the Chosen Children's path. Each one has an Evil Ring around their neck.

Hikari: MERAMON!!!

Meramon is an Adult-stage Data-attribute Flame Digimon. We got to know one of them back on File Island, where they were the guardian of Mt. Miharashi corrupted by a Black Gear in much the same way that these ones are now.

That Meramon returned later to join Mimi's army and fought in the last battle at the end of the Digital World.

Narrator: Meramon! Their flames and fiery temper burn through everything around them. Their special attack is Burning Fist! Daisuke: They're mine! Let's go! DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

An instrumental version of Break Up plays during evolution, with none of the lyrics because this isn't quite the fuck yeah moment that Daisuke thinks it is and I think we all know what's about to happen.

Fladramon: KNUCKLE FIRE!!!

One Meramon throws a Burning Fist fireball at Fladramon, who responds in kind. Fladramon's attack blows straight through Meramon's slamming into their pec. Meramon absorbs the attack and is no worse for wear.

Daisuke: (confused) Knuckle Fire had no effect? Hikari: Fire attacks might not work on them!

Shockingly, she refrains from calling him baka for that because she has more restraint than I do. Daisuke, you are so green. XD

In the dub:

Davis: Keep your eyes open! Trouble could be anywhere! (Meramon burst from the lava pools) Kari: Meramon! Kari: (rundown) Meramon are very dangerous. They can burn you with their Roaring Flame attack or just by touching you. Davis: Let's show 'em who's boss! DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!!! (Veemon Armor Digivolves into Flamedramon) Meramon: ROARING FLAME!!! Flamedramon: FIRE ROCKET!!! (Flamedramon hits, but the attack fizzles) Meramon: Ehehe.... Davis: Don't do that anymore! You're just tickling him! Kari: I don't think fire attacks are going to work on them!

Davis scolds Flamedramon but like what did you think he was going to do, my guy?

I always love it when the veteran kids give the diegetic rundowns themselves.

Okay, this isn't working. Miyako's turn.

Hawkmon: Miyako-san! Miyako: Okay, let's go! DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

Evolving into his own Armor form, Horusmon spins up a vortex and fires it at the Meramon.

Horusmon: TEMPEST WING!!!!

The wind vortex spreads their flames wildly.

Miyako: STOP!!! YOU'RE JUST FANNING THEIR FLAMES!!!

This is so pitiful, the Meramon aren't even attacking. XD

In the dub:

Hawkmon: My turn. Yolei: Get 'em, Hawkmon! DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!!! (Hawkmon Armor Digivolves) Halsemon: TEMPEST WING!!! (The attack makes things worse) Yolei: HALSEMON, STOP!!! YOU'RE MAKING THE FLAMES BIGGER!!!

While the junior team is humiliating itself, the Kaiser puts his real plan into action elsewhere.

In a forested region elsewhere, five Airdramon descend on Greymon.

Greymon: What's this?

Good question, Greymon. Airdramon, to my knowledge, never gets a rundown. So, real quick, Airdramon is an Adult-stage Vaccine-attribute Mythical Beast Digimon.

They hail from the very first Digital Monster V-Pet, where they were another option for Betamon's evolution alongside Seadramon, Devimon, Meramon, and Numemon. Greymon and Tyranomon come from there as well, but are exclusive evolutions to Agumon.

All of those Digimon have appeared in Adventure thus far, unlike Airdramon. With this debut, the first V-Pet's roster of Adult Digimon is complete.

Four of the Airdramon hang back while a fifth descends slowly in front of Greymon, revealing the Digimon Kaiser mounted on their neck.

Greymon: (defensive) You wanna fight? Kaiser: I want to perform a little experiment, but I'll need your help to do it.

The Kaiser raises his arm and an Evil Ring descends towards Greymon.

Greymon: What are you doing!?

But we cut away before Greymon can get his answer.

In the dub:

Emperor: There's my prey! Greymon: Come and get it! (The Emperor's Airdramon descends towards Greymon) Greymon: What do you say the two of us go at it? One on one. Emperor: As much as I appreciate your offer, Greymon, I'd rather we play Sphere Throw! Greymon: What!? But I hate Sphere Throw!

I love Greymon demanding that the Emperor face him in fisticuffs. XD

Absolutely no idea what "Sphere Throw" is supposed to mean. It's the line the Emperor delivers right before calling down the Dark Ring, which... is not a sphere...?

I can only imagine it's some obscure turn-of-the-century thing but I grew up at the time this was broadcasting and I do not for the life of me recall anything this might be referencing.

Back at the Meramon battle, it's Iori's turn to join the fray.

Iori: Hikari-san, Takeru-san, I'm going in! DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

This time, when Digmon evolves, the full version of Break Up finally begins.

Digmon: BIG CRACK!!!

Digmon's Big Crack takes the whole team at once, plunging all of the Meramon into the lava below.

Iori: We did it!

But the Meramon pull themselves back out of the lava and leap up onto the ground above, no worse for wear. They came from that lava, guys. You're all so bad at this.

Daisuke: Careful, everyone! Miyako: Nothing's working!

Have you tried aiming for the rings? I would try aiming for the rings.

In the dub:

Cody: Nothing is working; It's up to you, Armadillomon! DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!!! (Armadillomon Armor Digivolves) Digmon: ROCK CRACKIN'!!! (Digmon drops the Meramon into the lava) Cody: Way to go! Kari: Look! (The Meramon pull themselves back out and return) Yolei: WATCH OUT!!! Davis: Nothing stops 'em! Yolei: HERE THEY COME!!!

Yolei and Davis swap lines so that Yolei can slip a secret third line in there.

Patamon: Takeru! Takeru: Got it. DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

Once Pegasmon is in the game, he and Horusmon double-team a pair of Meramon.

Horusmon: UDJAT GAZE!!!

Horusmon's Udjat Gaze paralyzes two Meramon where they stand, making them vulnerable to Pegasmon.

Pegasmon: SHOOTING STAR!!!

Pegasmon, in turn, pummels the incapacitated pair with Shooting Stars, none of which actually strike the Evil Rings. Not exactly demonstrating the pinpoint accuracy he showed the Bakemon last episode.

In the dub:

Patamon: My turn? T.K.: LET'S DO IT!!! DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!!! (Patamon Armor Digivolves) Halsemon: TEMPEST WING!!! (Two Meramon freeze) T.K.: It's working! Pegasusmon: STAR SHOWER!!!

It is working, T.K. Udjat Gaze is pretty broken and we should use it more often. Too bad about that follow-up though. Headbonks and crotch-shots, while funny, do little to stem the tide of enemy Meramon.

This fight has been a cavalcade of fuckery. Hikari, show these idiots and Takeru how it's done.

Hikari: Tailmon! Tailmon: Hikari! Hikari: DIGIMENTAL UP!!!

Tailmon goes through her Armor Evolution sequence but then gets narratively snubbed as we cut away to the Digimon Kaiser. Greymon is now under control of an Evil Ring around his neck, while the five Airdramon air-lift him to the battlefield.

Kaiser: Huhuhuhu.... Wormmon: What are you laughing about, Ken-chan? Kaiser: I lost control of Andromon, but if I can evolve one from Adult-stage to Perfect-stage, then I should be able to manipulate them from there. (Kaiser holds the Dark Digivice up) Kaiser: ABSORB THE POWER OF DARKNESS!!! DARK EVOLVE INTO METALGREYMON, BECOME MY SERVANT, AND SWEAR YOUR FEALTY TO ME!!!

The Kaiser's own holy light issues forth from the Dark Digivice. By his power, Greymon evolves.

Oh, errors have been made. This is like watching a train-wreck in slow motion. We know what's going to happen here from the moment he says "Dark Evolve". The Kaiser continues to not have a goddamn clue of what he's doing.

As prompted, Greymon does undergo Dark Evolution, but the form he takes is not MetalGreymon. Welcome back, SkullGreymon.

In the dub:

Kari: Are ya ready? Gatomon: Always am! Kari: DIGI-ARMOR ENERGIZE!!! (Gatomon Armor Digivolves and we cut away to the Emperor) Emperor: Sending Greymon to attack those kids is my best plan yet! Wormmon: But, uh, what about the problems you had with Andromon? Emperor: I learned from my mistakes! If I can make a Rookie Digimon Digivolve while under my control then I can control its other forms as well! Wormmon: Master, you give me chills when you act all tough. Emperor: Oh, be quiet. GREYMON, DIGIVOLVE TO METALGREYMON AND BE MY SLAVE!!!

Rookie... what? At no step of this process has Greymon been in his Rookie form. The Partner Digimon have been hanging out in Champion forms long-term (apparently a thing they can do now) in order to defend their territories from the Digimon Emperor. We just saw that for ourselves.

In the original, Greymon/SkullGreymon does not go through the typical "Greymon SHINKAAAAAA!!!" callout during his evolution sequence. But he does it in the dub.

Dub Emperor does not mention that this is a Dark Evolution. So the original is more informative about what's going on, while in the dub it's more of a shocking twist when SkullGreymon suddenly emerges from the process. Both have their merits.

The dub also uses that shocking twist as a cliffhanger, to play us out to our third commercial break. "Wait WHAT THE FORKS!?!?!?" "Hey kids, wanna buy some Hot Wheels?"

Once SkullGreymon's on the scene, we cut back to Hikari to see how that's going.

Nefertimon: CURSE OF QUEEN!!!

It's going super well, as Nefertimon's Curse of Queen breaks the Evil Rings off two Meramon's necks. I'm going to say those are the paralyzed ones and she's shaming Pegasmon for his poor accuracy today.

Also, she's back to "Curse of Queen" instead of the briefly accurate "Curse of the Queen" she used the first time. Maybe the director corrected her actress between episodes.

Hikari: NOW GO FOR THE DARK TOWER!!!

Yep, today is Hikari's turn to hold the Competency Stick. She's got her eye on the prize.

While Kari sees this as a good spot for a triumphant quip.

Nefertimon: ROSETTA STONE!!! (Nefertimon shoots the two Meramon down) Kari: That's what you get for playing with fire!

Shot with Egyptian queen lasers until you can speak Portuguese is what you get.

No time to celebrate, though. The Digimon Kaiser arrives with his wicked new Digimon in tow.

Hikari: (shocked gasp) Takeru: IS THAT...!?!?

Don't know what Hikari's gasping about. She wasn't there for that.

SkullGreymon is a Perfect-stage Virus-attribute Undead Digimon. He originally evolved by mistake, as a consequence of Taichi corrupting his virtue of Courage. The consequences were disastrous for the Chosen Children, as SkullGreymon proved wildly aggressive and attacked everything indiscriminately.

Narrator: SkullGreymon. Though his body has perished, he remains animated solely through his unrelenting will to fight. His special attack is Ground Zero. Kaiser: (stunned) SkullGreymon...?

The Kaiser fares no better with this Digimon than Taichi did way back when. SkullGreymon's first order of business is to tear out the ropes carrying him, yanking four of the Airdramon to the ground in the process. The only Airdramon still in the air is the Kaiser's personal mount.

Wormmon: Ken-chan... It's SkullGreymon! ...I'm scared.... Kaiser: Tch!

His next order of business is to attack whatever's in reach. In this case, one of the Kaiser's own Meramon, who SkullGreymon swats like a bug.

In the dub:

Kari: (shocked gasp) T.K.: Oh no! It's SkullGreymon! T.K.: (rundown) The only thing more terrifying than his looks are his fighting skills! Especially his Dark Shot attack! Emperor: SkullGreymon!? (SkullGreymon tears himself free and pulls down the Airdramon) Wormmon: Suddenly... This plan doesn't really seem... so good. Emperor: Rrgh!

Solid. Wormmon's delivery is a little awkward because he has to account for the pauses in the original line, but it can be justified by him being so freaked out that it's affecting his ability to string sentences together.

And T.K. is exactly the right character for SkullGreymon's diegetic rundown. Not to mention that having T.K. exclaim SkullGreymon's name and then explain him makes it feel like the Emperor is reacting in real-time to T.K. explaining how bad he fucked up.

Daisuke: What is that thing!? Hikari: It's SkullGreymon! Daisuke: Skull... What was that? Takeru: Run.... Daisuke: Eh? Takeru: We can't beat him in a straight fight!

Despite Takeru's warning, the newer Digimon rush in. Fladramon, Horusmon, and Digmon all go for SkullGreymon at once.

In the dub:

Davis: Can we beat that thing!? Kari: I have no idea! Davis: Not even one? T.K.: I have one. Davis: What!? T.K.: I say we run and then, after that, we run some more!

Solid. The dub does not have Kari call out SkullGreymon by name which makes sense because she wasn't there for that.

The original's acting like Hikari's just as traumatized by SkullGreymon as Takeru is but I sincerely don't know why she would be. Veteran though she is, this is Hikari's first time seeing this shit too.

Fladramon: KNUCKLE FIRE!!!

Fladramon scores direct hits with all of his shots, but his attacks mean nothing to SkullGreymon. The colossal undead titan backhands Fladramon, sending him flying.

Much like the fight with Andromon, it takes only one hit to bring down the Armor Digimon, as Fladramon hits the ground hard and drops out of form.

Daisuke: FLADRAMON!!!

SkullGreymon follows up by punting Digmon across the volcanic terrain, oneshotting him.

Iori: DIGMON!!!

And then he concludes by slapping Horusmon out of the sky.

Miyako: HORUSMON!!!

In the dub:

Flamedramon: FIRE ROCKET!!! (No effect. Flamedramon gets slapped) Davis: He got Flamedramon! (Digmon gets kicked) Cody: DIGMON, NO!!! (Halsemon gets slapped) Yolei: HALSEMON!!!

Not a lot to say here but simple translations like these really call attention to the pronunciation difference between English and Japanese.

Davis needed to add two words because Flamedramon is three syllables, but counterintuitively Fladramon is five. Fu-rei-do-ra-mon.

Cody needed to add one word because there are three syllables in Digmon. Di-gu-mon.

But Yolei's fine because Horusmon is spelled Ho-ru-su-mon but pronounced Hol-su-mon.

With SkullGreymon now advancing on the children, Pegasmon and Nefertimon urge them to get out of here.

Nefertimon: EVERYONE, RUN!!! Hikari: But we have to stay together! Pegasmon: We'll take the other Digimon with us. Find a safe place and wait for us!

Before this discussion can be settled, SkullGreymon halts his march. For the first time, he speaks. To call an attack.

SkullGreymon: GROUND ZERO!!!

SkullGreymon launches the missile from his back. It twirls in the air and sails straight for the Dark Tower.

Kaiser: WHAT!?!? Wormmon: I'm scared!

The impact is clearly modeled after a nuclear blast. Hell, it's specifically named after one so the reference is pretty obvious.

First, a great flash of light. Then a blast wave sweeps across the volcanic region, knocking Pegasmon and Nefertimon out of the air. The Dark Tower crumbles into dust from the impact force.

Daisuke: WHAT IS THAT THING!?!?

We should bring SkullGreymon back to traumatize every new generation of Chosen Children.

In the dub:

Nefertimon: EVERYONE, RUN!!! Kari: But we have to fight SkullGreymon! Pegasusmon: (sarcastic) Yes, great idea. Stay clustered together so you create an easy target! (sincerely) GET TO SAFETY!!! SkullGreymon: DARK SHOT!!! (SkullGreymon fires at the Control Spire) Emperor: (gasp) Wormmon: He's got good aim. (Nuclear blast annihilates the Control Spire) Davis: I SHOULD PROBABLY PUT ON MY GOGGLES!!!

Davis riffs on the animation but I don't know if goggles would help. You need sunglasses here, my guy.

In the original, Hikari's concern was that she didn't want the kids to be separated from the Digimon. Nefertimon and Pegasmon are offering to hold the line while the children get to safety, and Hikari understands what that might entail and doesn't want to go.

Kari is inexplicably gung-ho about keeping the fight going.

Kaiser: A-a failure....

The Kaiser whistles, summoning reinforcements: A horde of DarkTyranomon.

DarkTyranomon is an Adult-stage Virus-attribute Dinosaur Digimon. We met one of them before during Vamdemon's invasion of Odaiba. They were tasked with guarding the prisoners inside the Big Sight convention center, up until Lilimon purified them.

Narrator: DarkTyranomon! A ferocious Digimon infected by a computer virus. Their special attack is Fire Blast!

The horde stomps past the Chosen Children, circling SkullGreymon.

Miyako: More enemies!?

In the dub:

Emperor: YOU WANNA PLAY ROUGH!?!? (Emperor whistles) T.K.: I'm afraid to find out who he's calling! (DarkTyrannomon horde appears) Yolei: What are those things!? Cody: They're DarkTyrannomon! Cody: (rundown) A computer program turned Tyrannomon into the evil DarkTyrannomon! Watch out for his Fire Breath attack! Kari: Why can't we ever fight anything short!? Yolei: Like some mice!

Cody delivering the rundown here makes less sense than the previous two, but I guess it was someone else's turn.

The five DarkTyranomon form a semicircle around SkullGreymon and hit him with their Fire Blasts all at once.

Daisuke: What are they doing!? Takeru: They're attacking one of their own.

Despite everything, the Chosen Children are very slow on the uptake today. I don't know how much more obvious it can possibly get that SkullGreymon isn't under their control. He nuked the Dark Tower!

Ignoring their flames, SkullGreymon slaps the DarkTyranomon aside and grabs one of them. He holds them up in his hand, crushing them for a few seconds, then tosses them down onto a nearby hillside.

Daisuke: He's so strong...! Miyako: But this doesn't make any sense....

SkullGreymon snatches up another DarkTyranomon and hurls them into one of the lava pools. They float unconscious to the surface shortly after so we know they didn't die. DarkTyranomon can swim in lava; It's fine.

Having nothing to do in this scene anymore, the dub kids pass the time by quipping.

Davis: With all that fire, they can bake, broil, and braise him! If he can't stand the heat, he'd better get out of the kitchen! T.K.: Stop! You're making me want to barbecue! (SkullGreymon smacks the DarkTyrannomon aside, then throws one against a hill) Davis: He's throwing them around like ragdolls! Painful! Yolei: Hope he doesn't get the idea to throw us around! (SkullGreymon throws one into the lava pit) Kari: He beat them all single-handed!

At this point, they're just narrating. But. Like. They've got nothing better to do. Our whole protag cast has been reduced to peanut gallery. They stopped being part of this scene as soon as he shot the tower.

Finally, after lava dunking that last DarkTyranomon, SkullGreymon runs out of stamina. He regresses to an unconscious Agumon, with the Evil Ring still latched firmly around his neck.

Hikari: (gasp) Is that...!?

The four Airdramon that SkullGreymon yanked from the sky seem to be doing fine and are back up there. One descends to retrieve Agumon, picking him up by his tail.

Hikari: Agumon? Takeru: Wait, what!? Hikari: AGUMOOOOOOOON!!! Takeru: Taichi-san's Agumon!? Daisuke: What!?

Daisuke needs Takeru to explain why they're freaking out but he gets there.

The Kaiser and his five Airdramon withdraw, taking Agumon with them.

Hikari: WAIT!!! YOU CAN'T TAKE AGUMON!!!

He takes Agumon.

In the dub:

Kari: That's Agumon! (Airdramon descends for Agumon) T.K.: That slimy creature is coming after him! And when I say slimy creature, I mean Ken! (Airdramon picks up Agumon) Kari: AGUMON!!! T.K.: LET HIM GO!!! Kari: AGUMOOOOOOOON!!! T.K.: YOU BETTER NOT HURT HIM, KEN!!! Davis: YEAH, JERK!!! Emperor: From defeat, I snatch another victory! Huhuhuhuhuhu! Kari: T.K., DAVIS, SOMEBODY, DO SOMETHING!!! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!!!

It takes T.K. a moment to realize we're done doing tongue-in-cheek narration and actually this is serous.

Davis isn't sure what he's supposed to use his line for.

Back in the human world, Koushiro's still waiting for the junior team to report back.

Suddenly, on the map, a ton of white and gray squares fill in as black squares. I remain confused about what the gray squares are supposed to represent.

Koushiro: Huh? The areas that Taichi-san's Agumon were guarding have turned black.

He doesn't have to wait long for explanation. An email arrives soon after from diligent Iori explaining it all.

Koushiro: "Taichi-san's Agumon was captured by the Kaiser"!? "The Dark Digivice made Agumon Dark Evolve into SkullGreymon"! What the hell... Is the Digimon Kaiser trying to destroy the Digital World!?

I mean. He plans to live there forever so probably not, but I understand. Koushiro's freaked out.

That ominous exclamation brings part 2 of this arc to an end.

As usual, the dub rewrites the email lazily so there's only a body, with no subject line or From or To fields.

Izzy: Whoa, that's the strangest thing I've seen since my ethernet configuration collapsed! (gasp) Izzy: What!? "The entire area that Agumon was guarding has been taken over by the Digimon Emperor!" Does that mean that Agumon is under his control!? Or worse yet, what if Agumon's been destroyed!? Then who's next!? If he was able to get Agumon, that means every one of our Digimon are in danger! Narrator: How will the DigiDestined rescue Agumon? The answer on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

Narrator lies. There's two more episodes of this arc.

Also, screw whoever sent that email. Really sending him the bare minimum of what just happened, forcing Izzy's imagination to send him into a panic spiral.

Great job, guys. Your bad intel broke Izzy.

Assessment: There are a few things from 02 that I vividly remember and have been looking forward to, and next episode is going to be one of them.

This one starts off really strong, with a deep-dive into Ken's persona. We learn so much about where Ken's coming from. We see his own personal life experience and the way it colors his view of the world; Things that don't justify what he's doing but make him sympathetic and understandable. Ken is what his experiences have made him into. He is the child that all of these people raised.

But it ends kinda weak. The Kaiser's second attempt at controlling a Perfect Digimon blows right up in his face, which is good on paper. But once SkullGreymon actually takes the field, it just feels like repeating the SkullGreymon episode from the first Adventure but without all the interesting character drama.

It's an episode that needed to happen but I wish the cast had more to do. As is, all six of them including Ken basically just run around going "OH SHIT" until SkullGreymon tires out and then break for next episode. The only thing that's learned is that Ken will need to scratch Plan B off the "Control Perfect Digimon" list and figure out a Plan C.

But the fact that he still has Agumon at the end nonetheless sets up some solid tension going into Part 3 of this arc.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Have you got any advice/resources for non US writers trying to write something set in America? The internet is so US centric that it’s kind of tricky to find research sources that don’t assume you know a lot of things already, making it difficult to work out cultural differences I should be aware of, or to find points of reference I can properly understand. I need a part of my story to take place in the US and I want it to fee asl accurate as I can get it (but I can’t afford to fly over)

Non-U.S. Writer Setting Story in U.S.

I don't know of any resources dedicated specifically to non-U.S. writers who want to set their story in the U.S., but keep an eye on the comments in case anyone knows of any.

The cultural differences you'll need to be aware of depends on your own culture, where in the U.S. your story is set, and who the specific characters are, as many places in the U.S. culturally diverse.

Google Searches - Specific Google searches may be your best bet. Like, for example, "What are some cultural differences between Tokyo, Japan and Atlanta, Georgia?" You can also try something like, "What is the cultural makeup of Atlanta, Georgia" (for example) and then research those specific cultures. And, to get a feel for the general city/state/regional culture, you can try searches like, "What is the culture of Atlanta, Georgia" or "What is the culture of Georgia, U.S.A. like?"

Groups and Forums - Groups and forums (such as on Facebook, Discord, and different web sites) can be a great way to chat with others about specific topics. If you can find travel groups/forums based in your country, you might be able to find posts about traveling to the location of your story setting. Or, you could post and ask if anyone from your country has traveled there and what it was like.

Blogs, Vlogs, and Articles - You can also look for travel blogs written by travelers from your country, as well as travel vlogs on YouTube, to see if they have gone to the location of your story setting. Travel articles in online travel magazines published in your country are another option.

Location-Based Web Sites - Most towns, cities, counties, states, and regions have their own web sites and web-based travel guides geared toward visitors. For example, if you Google, "Visit Atlanta, Georgia, U.S." the first hit is a web site called "Discover Atlanta," which features information about things to do, popular events, areas of the city, getting around, and more. In fact, under their "visitor guides," they have a guide specific to international visitors available in multiple languages. Odds are, other big cities as well as states will have something similar.

My post Setting Your Story in an Unfamiliar Place has some other general suggestions that might be of help. You can also send your questions here, and I can do my best to answer them as will others in the community who are from/familiar with the location of your story.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[communist-hatsunemiku]

omfg this morning I was chatting with this girl on snap and I mentioned my love for Miku and she was like "oh i bet your love for Miku is kinda like my love for eminem" um. no the fuck it is not and I'm kinda upset you'd think that's an okay thing to say to me. but I decided to look past it.

and then the topic of 7/11s in Japan came up and I said they're really great and she goes "yeah there's way less crackheads than in america" like ok so this is officially joever.

[falloutboylyricss]

Fall Out Boy and Places

note: this post only includes names of specific places, both real and fictional

Evening Out With Your Girlfriend

"I'm deep with futures like Chicago / No, Glenview never meant a thing to me, she never meant a thing to me" - Growing Up

Take This to Your Grave

"Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria with promise and precision" - Saturday

"Landing on a runway in Chicago, and I'm grounding all my dreams of ever really seeing California" - Homesick at Space Camp

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago (title only)

"But there's a light on in Chicago, and I know I should be home" - Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

From Under The Cork Tree

none

Infinity On High

"Put love on hold, young Hollywood is on the other line" - The (After) Life Of The Party

"And everyone's looking for relief, United States versus disbelief" - You're Crashing, But You're No Wave

"New York eyes, Chicago thighs, pushed up the window to kiss you off" - I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers

Folie à Deux

"Erase myself and let go, start it over again in Mexico" - I Don't Care

"Let's hear it for America's suitehearts, but I must confess, I'm in love with my own sins" - America's Suitehearts

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet (title only)

"Plant palm trees on Lake Michigan before it gets cold" - The (Shipped) Gold Standard

"Said, 'I'll be fine 'til the hospital or American embassy'" - What A Catch, Donnie

"And you're a bottled star, the planets align, you're just like Mars" - 27

"A Roman candle heart, keep us far apart" - Tiffany Blews

"Have you ever wanted to disappear and join a monastery, go out and preach on Manic Street?" - 20 Dollar Nose Bleed

West Coast Smoker (title only)

"Got my degree in the gutter, my heart broken in the dorms of the Ivy League" - West Coast Smoker

Save Rock And Roll

"Did you trip down twelve steps into Malibu?" - The Mighty Fall

"Bel Air baby, did you get dressed up?" - The Mighty Fall

"But we are alive here in Death Valley, but don't take love off the table yet" - Death Valley

"When Rome's in ruins, we are the lions, free of the Colosseums" - Young Volcanoes

"Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful, baby?" - Young Volcanoes

PAX AM Days

"Cargo and despair, all American made" - American Made

American Beauty/American Psycho

"You know you look so Seattle, but you feel so L.A." - Irresistible

"She's an American beauty, I'm an American psycho" - American Beauty/American Psycho

"Take me down the line, in Gem City, we turn the tide" - Uma Thurman

"In between being young and being right, you were my Versailles at night" - Fourth Of July

"There's a room in a hotel in New York City that shares our fate and deserves our pity" - Twin Skeleton's (Hotel In NYC)

MANIA

none

So Much (For) Stardust

Heaven, Iowa (title only)

"6 AM, Mulholland Drive, Moonlight Sonata and I" - Heaven, Iowa

Misc.

"I wanna put the Midwest home again" - Alpha Dog

"Sometimes, when I'm in Heaven, I get forgetful of the Earth" - Lake Effect Kid

"And joke us, joke us 'til Lakeshore Drive comes back into focus" - Lake Effect Kid

"I love you, Chicago, you make me feel so summer fling" - City In A Garden

"You know the world can get my bones, but Chicago gets my soul" - Super Fade

"Captain Planet, Arab Spring, L.A. riots, Rodney King" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Oklahoma City bomb, Kurt Cobain, Pokémon" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Nuclear accident, Fukushima, Japan / Crimean peninsula, Cambridge Analytica" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"More war in Afghanistan, Cubs go all the way again / Obama, Spielberg, explosion, Lebanon / Unabomber, Bobbitt, John, Bombing, Boston Marathon" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Stranger Things, Tiger King, Ever Given, Suez" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Elon Musk, Kaepernick, Texas failed electric grid" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Great Pacific garbage patch, Tom DeLonge and aliens / Mars rover, Avatar, self-driving electric cars" - We Didn't Start The Fire

[ironwoman18]

Change Japan with our goals - Part 3

Chapter 3: The Striker Queen

“That goal was amazing, her passing and dribbling were really good but what striked me the most was that shot... I was expecting a shot with her left leg but I guess she wants to use her right leg so she can surprise with the left” thought the doctor looking at her iPad “her shooting is outstanding and the effect was incredible”

She turned to see the center of the field and seemed Alexandra there “but now she has the ball, Alexandra “The Tank” Müller, 180 centimeters tall and with great strength. She is the biggest bet of the trading market this year, she came from Bastard München after she lost to be part of the starting 11 ever since her knee injury, now their main striker is Giorgina Materacci, the Italian prodigy. She’s here to recover her good shape and to beat her”

Katiuska passed the ball to Alexandra and the match restarted, team A was already on defense, Natalia and Emily were playing as central backs, Clara was a little bit ahead of them on the left and Mikasa on the right at Clara’s level.

After the first pass, Alexandra started to run with it and her objective was clear, she headed to Mikasa. She stood in front of her smirking, looking for an opening to dribble her but Mikasa trained her defense in America.

She threw her body at her “I’m bigger and stronger than this pettit girl” she thought smirking, however Mikasa lowered her gravity center and she was unbothered by her tackles “what?! This girl is holding her own against me”

“Alex, pass me the ball!” Screamed Katiuska looking at the blonde woman, running pass Clara’s personal mark.

“Fuck off!!! I have to defeat this Asian girl!” Mikasa smirked and moved her foot a little and stole the ball with ease.

“This Asian girl trained with high school American football fullbacks and with former WWE fighters, a tall German woman without strength won’t ever win against me” she said dribbling away and passing it to Clara.

Both girls started to pass the ball until they reached the two defenders, Lucia tried to stop her by cutting her angle but instead of shooting she passed the ball to Clara who ended up scoring.

“GOOOOAAAAAALL!!!” Clara was an offensive midfielder so she wasn’t a stranger to score goals, however she never expected that a striker would send her a pass and it was an amazing tight pass.

“She isn’t using her left leg, she must be waiting for the right moment to do it but her defense is pretty solid too” 

Alexandra was enraged after losing and wanted revenge so after receiving the ball from Katiuska she did a powerful shot from the center, the ball went really high, almost touching the ceiling.

“There it is… Alexandra’s special shot… the moon volley” thought the doctor as the ball reached its highest point and went out at max speed and with an insane rotation hitting the ground and the extra spin sent the ball in, and the goalkeeper wasn’t able to stop it.

There were a couple of seconds of shock then the internal voice in the stadium said “GOOOOOAAAALLL!!! Team A 2-1 Team B”

“Fuck… that was amazing” smirked Mikasa “that was an amazing goal”

“Are you excited, striker?” Asked Clara smirking as they walked to the center.

“Yes, I am…” 

Meanwhile Sae was finishing his training when he received a call from his agent “hey Sae… bad news, your passport is about to expire so you will have to return to Japan to have a new one” 

The young midfielder sighed cursing slightly “that’s terrible, I will inform my parents but I would rather stay in a hotel, made the reservation Satoru” 

“Already did them. We will be leaving tomorrow and… Sae…” He hesitated whether to tell her or not “I planned an interview for you while we are there”

He could feel Sae’s angry aura even at that distance “if I had to…” then he hung up without another world.

Back to the match, Team B scored the second goal with another moon volley when Mikasa was returning from their attack. 

“Damn it…” whispered Mikasa frustrated “that shot is dangerous and unstoppable” 

“We need to stop it” said Natalia as Mikasa held the football “me and Emily will move further, close to the midfield, Clara and Mikasa will attack and Mikasa, I can tell you have a secret weapon so use it”

“Yes, captain” she nodded and went to the middle with Clara “ready?”

“I was born ready” she smirked and she stood next to the ball and Mikasa was at the other side of the ball.

They exchanged a nod and began their attack. As usual they exchanged passes, Alexandra was bad on defense so Mikasa dribbled her with ease. 

She passed to Clara and her marker, Lucia, was cutting her path to her right leg “she’s good, she is covering my attacks with my right leg and her leg is in position in case I try another trivela”

She was moving her body, looking for an opening and she found it so she dribbled the ball and she passed her “she’s good…” thought Lucia.

Mikasa ran to the area and, like typical lefty players, ran into the area and shot with her left foot to the upper corner at the left, scoring the final goal.

“GOOOAAAALL!!!. Team A won 3-2!

“Her stats are out of this planet… she scored two goals and had an assist” thought the doctor smiling and looking at Mikasa.

The coach was watching the match and smirked, then got out her phone and called the president of the club “sir. I think we should fulfill Miss Isagi’s wish and hire Miss Tanaka. I’m pretty sure she will join the first team sooner than expected” 

Then she called her assistant “Prepare a special training for Miss Müller, the doctor will send you her stats and the ones we have to work on but her moon volley is amazing” said the coach “the other defenders and the midfield are Ok but not great... They might be good substitutes” she continued “we will see how to work with them.... Yeah... See you later” she finished the call and left.

Mikasa stats:

Speed: 95

Offensive: 97

Shoot: 97

Defensive: 85

Dribbling: 95

Pass: 96

Overall: 94 - S tier

Alexandra stats:

Speed: 90

Offensive: 97

Shoot: 97

Defensive: 45

Dribbling: 50

Pass: 45

Overall: 70 - B tier

“This test was a testimony of how strong the two forwards are, the midfielder and defenders were useless and maybe we are going to need a better way to measure them” said the doctor looking at the stats in front of her “Mikasa is overall superior to Alexandra, however even with the moon volley, they are both tied in offensive and shooting power. I think if Alexandra works on her lower abilities, we can make her a better forward and Mikasa just need to keep evolving to be as good as she is”

“Now… there’s something I want to try out… I made a call and her partner at the U-20 team is coming to Spain. We will have a training match against the Espanyol, I want to test those two in real action”

“When?”

“In a week, test her as quickly as possible and let’s make a deal for her. I think we got an overpriced central forward and a underpriced right winger” she smirked “we will see”

The doctor nodded and smiled, this Barcha will be the greatest team in Liga F and Champions League.

The rest of Mikasa’s days in Europe were calmer, she did some city tours, the team gave her a tour to see the Masia, the place where the future players of Barcha train. Some were about her brother’s age and some were about her own age.

She saw some small stadiums that the Barcha use whenever the main stadium isn't working. 

Meanwhile the doctor was running an analysis on Aiko Tanaka without telling Mikasa, they wanted to make sure she was capable of playing with her.

Aiko stats:

Speed: 97

Offensive: 95

Shoot: 90

Defensive: 85

Dribbling: 97

Pass: 98

Overall: 93 - S tier

“We might just find two monsters worthy of a world new gen 11 place. Just like Sae Itoshi, Michael Kaiser, Don Lorenzo, Julian Loki, Clara Fernández, Giorgina Materacci and Natalia Sánchez” 

Before going back to America, the coach called Mikasa to go back to the Camp Nou.

When she was back there was Aiko next to the coach “Miss Isagi... We decided to hire you both. I hope that with this you will be happy and work with us”

Mikasa hugged her best friend and nodded “Of course” she smiled.

“Perfect, next week you will have to come back to sign your contract, we already have some apartments you can use while you earn enough to buy your own and you will share it with Miss Tanaka” said the coach “and you will be presented to the public” they nodded “welcome to Barcha girls” they smiled and hug each other once again.

Their new adventure just started and they will face stronger enemies as they become the strongest team.

The news started to spread and it reached Sae Itoshi via the internet “Good news for Barcha fans... They just hired two U-20 champions for their female side. Mikasa Isagi and Aiko Tanaka which will turn this team even stronger. The official presentation will be next week and they will play against Espanyol in a friendly match” Sae’s face was cold as usual but her aura scared his manager next to him.

“Ummm... Sae?” He said nervous but Sae didn't answer at him he was enraged because the Real Madrid just fuck it up for their chances to win anything in the female side.

OOooOOooOO

I hope you liked this one. Mikasa doesn't have a special shot yet, however she will have developed the meta vision and the predator eye. But I still can't think of a weapon for her (Isagi has the direct shot, Nagi has his insane control, Chigiri has his speed and Bachira has his dribbling) so if you came up with anything let me know and I will give you credit.

This is happening in parallel with the beginning of season 1.

Part 1 and 2 are available on here and on AO3.

[lovehypegirl]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓

ACT 1 CHAPTER 1

SNEAK PEEK

"How's that kid you caught for…uhh Sawamura?" y/n asked as she laced her fingers with his

"Mhmm" Miyuki held onto her hand as the walked up the steps "He's got fastballs"

"…and? Any breaking balls?"

"Nope"

"Really? At his age he should have about one or two under his belt. Even a half-assed curve ball y'know? I mean at middle school that's all I had"

"You were younger in middle school no?"

"I was. Last year of middle school in America - eighth grade - students are thirteen turning fourteen instead of fifteen turning sixteen"

"American schools are weird"

"Nuh uh! I'm a senior in America but a second year in Japan now that's weird. So instead of graduating uhh next year? I have to go through second year, and two third years cause it's a four year school or whatever. Point is, now I have more school"

"Awwe poor y/n" Miyuki smirked at her as they walked onto the field toward home plate

There were other people doing late night swinging in field B, far enough that y/n and Miyuki would have their privacy

"Shut it! At least I have a free period since I'm exempt from learning English" y/n swung their hands back and forth

"You should be using that free period to practice your batting. You won't make it to clean up if your batting sucks"

She stuck her tongue out at him "I'll use that free time to rest from early morning practices. It's like military drills at five am. Not my shit" she let go of his hand as he set up the tee at home plate and she got in the righty batters box "I'm gonna hit this shit outta the park" she said confidently as she kicked at the dirt a little

"4000 yen" (25.54 USD)

"Oh so now we're betting on my obviously incredible skills?"

"If you're that good then you won't need to worry about getting 4000 chased outta your pocket" Miyuki shrugged and placed a practice ball on the tee

"Aw shut up. You know damn well I'm broke. Exploiting the poor" she muttered as she did a few practice swings

"Your arms are low" Miyuki pointed out

"Nuh uh"

"What do you mean 'nuh uh'" Miyuki said as he went to stand behind y/n, his broad chest to her back and he reached his arms forward in a back hug fashion to place his hands over hers on the bat and raise her arms up

"There, you'll get the most out of your swing from that height"

"You're just ensuring that you ain't gettin' that 4000 yen"

He shrugged "Then hit it outta the park"

"I will" she squinted her eyes at him and swung

She in fact, did not hit it out of the park

"4000 yen"

"Goddamnit"