#my bestest friend is percy and we get so so so low when we are apart | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pastrycreamsicle · 1 year ago

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why am i so bad at keeping in touch with people??!? not knowing what a frienship actually means???! i feel like im doing everything wrong. i feel like i never tried hard enough in all my 23 years of coordinating with people

#personal #girl i am so burnt out #my bestest friend is percy and we get so so so low when we are apart #i feel like all my classmates hate me???#or just generally unlike me??#i also dont push myself to hang with them after class. its mostly bc im 23 with own place. bills. cats #i also have a job where i work to live.#i feel.like im constantly fucking up #and then theres just the timing/money when everyone goes out and i work every fucking weekend at 6am #i really dont wanna go to class tomorrow #u ever realize HOW lonely you actually are?#family isnt close due to divorce. childhood trauma on the res. no communication amongst cousins.#dont know how to talk to people #i constantly feel like im fucking up every conversation #it still happens when i try and talk about something. anything. and im immediately ignored or the topic instantly changes #im not even the oldest or youngest in class but i feel so out of place??#everyone is either approaching 30 or fresh out of high-school/covid so like 18-20 #no one is really that middle age that im in rn???#i dunno im getting really sad about school bc i thought i was making friends but now im not included in conversations 🙃#i dont know what i need

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