#my best friend does this exact thing and its an ongoing joke

[hermajestytak]

Forever fascinated by the genre of fanartists who will draw Zim's wig as anything but a pompadour. Like hell yeah you draw Zim with that spiky anime boy hair! I too hate drawing short mens hairstyles!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 5: Best Animated Reboots

Rules:

1. One per franchise (Like for example, if its Batman cartoon. I can’t pick another batman reboot. But I can pick a super man reboot)

2. I have to have Watched the series, Both the Original and the Reboot before I can make any judgements on it. ( So Spoiler, She Ra will not be on the List. because I have seen the Original She Ra, but not seen the current one.)

3. It has to be a complete reboot, it cant be a sequel series or simply the same show with updated animation. It has to be its own thing. (I.E Dragon Ball Z Kai is not a reboot, it is still the exact same plot wise as Dragon ball z, just cut out a lot of filler and updated the animation)  I cant pick Batman Beyond, because that is technically a Sequel to Batman the Animated Series.

4. To be considered a Reboot, it needs to have source material to reboot from.

_______________________________________________________________________

5. Voltron: Legendary Defender

This is a very Divisive pick for me. Especially with how the last season went. But Despite the... Ball drop in that season. The show was very captivating! Gorgeous animation, wonderful universe building, interesting plot developments. The revamps to characters like Lotor and Pidge are my personal favorites in comparison to the original series. I found myself drawn in to the intense space battles as well as the fun filler episodes. Sure it cant beat the original in its cheesy dialogue and its initial impact on the giant robot genre. But it does develop the characters in interesting ways... until the last season. Which I am just going to say. If you get into this show. Stop just before starting the last season. Just do yourself that favor.

I still like the reboot and it did a lot right... It also just did a LOT wrong too...

4. Sonic Boom

I know this is quite a shock to see this higher then Voltron, but hear me out. This show is really f***Ing funny. This show is as good as the game it is based off of was awful. 

Sonic and his friends play off each other wonderfully. Season 2 really shows off the best humor. Eggman steals the show whenever on screen. Its hilarious.

Though technically it is a reboot of Sonic so it counts.

What really sells the show is the witty dialogue. The show doesn't take itself too seriously and will make amazing jabs at themselves, the fandom, the games, etc. This show’s 4th wall breaking antics are something to behold, dead pool himself would give this a thumbs up. 

People will argue that Sonic X or Sonic SatAm are superior. Sonic SatAM was only good because Eggman was so evil and really it was competing with that wacky other sonic cartoon.

Sonic X would have beaten this if Chris thorndyke had died at some point in the series but he didn't so it fails.

3. Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated

Scooby doo has so many f***ing reboots that you could argue it has had one every year for the last 20 years.

But let me tell you, Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated is head and shoulders above the rest.

The way this show went about character building, The comedic jokes, the tightly knit canon, the ever changing status quo, yet staying true to all of the characters. The ongoing mystery in the series, building up to by far, one of the most BAT S*** INSANE  climaxes I have ever seen. It is so amazing the amount of callbacks and developments that occur in the show. It is hard to nail down. With how lack luster the other Scooby doo reboots were, this one just went bananas and took it to a full untapped level, and I love it.

Seriously, please check out this show if you love Scooby Doo. Even if you don't, just watch it for the amazing mystery.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

As someone that grew up with the 2003 Reboot on 4kids. Picking this one is no small feat.

I ADORE TMNT, It is one of my favorite Franchises of all time.

The 2012 reboot of the series gives us the most fleshed out versions of the turtles, re-introducing old characters and New characters. The intimidating performance of the Shredder. 

I remember watching this and thinking that there was no way they could beat the series that was so good, it got 2 sequel series. (which both sucked) but still.

The show goes to great lengths to give character to each Turtle, and really shows the feud between Splinter/ Hamoto and Shredder/ Oroku.

The plot twists this show did were also quite incredible. I also feel this show captured the spirit of the original 1980′s cartoon while giving a much more modern flare to it. The 2003 version just couldn't balance as much as the other series could. 

This one was consistently amazing all the way through and a perfect way to introduce people to the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Andre from black nerd comedy  ( a personal fav Youtuber) did a lot of reviews on the episodes. Would recommend watching.

1. Ducktales (2017)

I say this without even a shadow of a doubt. Ducktales 2017 is by far, the greatest Reboot of an old tv series to have ever been created and potentially will ever be created.

I could write research papers about how each and every character has been improved. The inclusion of DELLA DUCK! Donald Duck’s best written interpretation to date.

But what sets this apart from all other reboots is the fact that this is an expanding universe of the Disney afternoon. This show is a Disney afternoon Reboot. It is a love letter to that time when kids would rush home to watch Disney.

Never has a reboot been so lovingly crafted. There is not a single thing wrong with this show. I can not feasibly think of a single fault in the show. The amount of heart and soul in every frame of this show is the equivalent of a Disney Renaissance.

Even if you have Never seen the Disney afternoon in any form. I would recommend this show, because it is still a really great show. it changes and grows, there are consequences and GOOD lessons learned.

I do my damnedest to watch every episode when it airs.

I seriously can not recommend this show enough. 

What are you doing? Go watch it!!! Binge it! Enjoy it

[onlydylanobrien]

Finding hope during the monsterpocalypse

Love is explored honestly and equally throughout the film — whether it's the love between Joel and his pup, Boy, romantic love, or the love between found family in the aftermath of the monsterpocalypse. What drew you to this project? And what do you think audiences can take from these stories of hope and love in 2020?

It's a good question. Let me think what a good answer is. [Laughs] That is a big thing for me, and what drew me to it was the positivity of the film. I love genre stuff: the concept ideas within a film like this and the fun within the sequencing. The scary [parts] and the bit of the gags and playing with all that stuff, for me, is really great fun — and I love those sorts of things in film. But then, I also just really liked the honesty of it and the positivity of it overall.

It's a film that doesn't have an ego or something. It doesn't become like Joel is all-important, and he's the chosen one. I don't quite know how to articulate it, but it's not trying to do something or trying to be more than what it is. There's just a bit of an honesty to it and a positivity in the end in the messaging and that sort of thing where it's about caring for each other and about humanity. And it's not like, "I'm going to take what's yours for me, and I want this, and we have to fight each other for each other's resources," and all the usual stuff that you have in these sort of end of the world movies. I just liked that it didn't have that, and it was just this guy who's passionate about something and makes friends with this dog and is trying to get somewhere and kind of grows up in the process.

O'Brien slays every take

What was it like working with Dylan O'Brien?

It was awesome. We really get along well, and I consider him a pretty close friend now. I didn't know him well at all before going in, so I sort of met him for the project and talking about it. And he was the guy from the start that was right for it. And we just chatted and found what we thought was interesting about the character and the tone of it and how we wanted to work together. He's just got really incredible instincts for things in the moment — both a movie genre point of view of what's cool in the moment and what really works, but also just on character point of view in terms of humor, little things, the way he reacts to stuff, all that. It's just really entertaining to watch while you're making the film.

And he would always do different things pretty much every take, giving it a different angle and trying to find something [new]. I think that was what was really cool about it was just trying to find those things. You know, you're not showing up to just execute this exact thing. Obviously, the script is a script, and you're making that movie, but it wasn't like it's just a given exactly how something should be. And so there was always an openness to how to make the most of a moment or how to bring it to life in a different way. And so it was really awesome. It was great to work with him.

Did you have a favorite scene from him?

Probably the boulder snail one, funny enough. Just when Joel's shirt comes off, and then he can't move, and he's stuck in fear. There was just something about it where on the page I sort of had an idea of what I thought, and then just watching Dylan do it in the moment. It's just funny and kind of absurd, and he just did it really well. And at the end there, those were improvisations where they were going, "Thank you, boulder snail," and he's like, "Thank you," and he can't really talk, but he's kind of stuck in this moment. He's like overwhelmed. I thought that was really funny. I enjoyed that day. It was cool.

Dylan O'Brien, prankster extraordinaire

So during the New York Comic-Con panel, Dylan [O'Brien] and Ariana [Greenblatt] teased some on-set shenanigans. It sounded like set was a lot of fun. Were there any other notable moments or funny jokes and pranks on set?

It was pretty much ongoing. Dylan was filling the older brother role, really pushing it quite far. And so she was trying to taunt him all the time with things, and he was just being really mean to her in a funny way — like an older brother kind of way. Or she would do a really amazing take, and then he'd go like, "Come on, get it together," whatever it might be. Or during a scene when it's on his close-up, and she says something, and then he's like, "It's my shot now, this one's about me, it's not about you, so just do your lines." They just had this really funny thing, and she would just say the same things to him when it was her when she was in close-ups, and he wasn't on the camera. So they just had a really fun time. And I think it helped with the relationship onscreen.

Because she's quite mean to him and quite precocious and pushy, and I think him doing that also helped her feel comfortable being like that with him, and being kind of bossy and mean, because he let her be really comfortable like that off-set and they have a good vibe. It was great.

That's fun! While, at its heart, Love and Monsters is a love and survival story, the movie has some brilliant comedic scenes. You touched on this a little bit, but were there any ad-lib lines or improvised moments from any of the actors that stood out?

Oh, that's a tough one. Honestly, there were a lot. From Dylan's point of view, there were a lot. Often, it's in the heart of what the scene is and what's on the script. The work is in the script, so it's not to put down anything in terms of him changing things because it's not good enough or something, but it's just in the moment there were lots of things he changed. I'm trying to think what would be a good example. I don't know, to be honest, there are a lot.

He does that in a lot of his projects, and it's always hilarious. So that's not a surprising answer.

Yeah, and it's great. I love it.

Dylan O'Brien nails it

But it's also a testament to the quality of Dylan in being able to nail stuff. There were never times when it was like I'm sitting there as a director going, "Oh, he's just not getting this right." It's more just a case of if we could keep playing, we might come up with some other things that are really cool here as well. So that was the challenge: knowing if something is funny or not in the moment and going, "We've got that. It's funny, and it worked," but feeling like you're under quite a time constraint the whole time.

But everyone really loved the film that worked on it. We had a really passionate and amazing crew, and my AD James McGrady and John Starke, the line producer, as well as Dan Hennah, the production designer, and Lachlan [Milne], the Director of Photography. They were all very high-level people that I was really fortunate to work with. And we all were an amazing team, super positive and just trying to do the best we could with what we could.

The tween's the boss now

But we did see a lot of different young girls for [Minnow] because it's not as easy with older actors where you love someone from all these movies, whereas we wanted to see a lot of different people and see what the energy was. And she just had a really strong, confident vibe to her that really worked. And then at the same time, with casting, she went from that to turning to then starting to cry, and with Dylan, she actually did it with Dylan there, and was like, "Why you got to leave?" And then these tears just came there, and we thought, "Oh, if she can move between those spaces, then she's awesome."

And she brought a lot. She was super easy to improv little things with Dylan, or if Dylan said something, she would just say something back. She never got thrown by it or anything like that. She was great.

[bourgeoishellion]

I rant about a manga I read

I’ve been crying over +A no Tachiichi by Geni Yuu for the past few...hours. That’s actually quite a few literal hours I’m talking about, and I will never divulge the exact number because at this point it’s a long tantrum. 

I love this manga, and I will stand by it till the end of time. I reread it with tears in my eyes and sobbed even harder the second and third time. So, listen to the synopsis:

Satoki Houma is an imaginative girl who enjoys shoujo manga. She has long comes to terms with the fact she will never be the type of girl that is the heroine of a manga purely because she isn't pretty, and she has decided she prefers to watch events unfold rather that get involved in any case. However, in the perfect shoujo manga twist, one day she gets dragged to an alternate world where the people have summoned a Holy Maiden to save them! Except so did her classmate, Haruka Toudou, who fits the exact model of a Shoujo Protagonist. Naturally, Satoki is overlooked for Haruka except it's not Haruka who has the powers of the Holy Maiden they wished for. What will Satoki do!?

Okay. It actually sounds pretty basic, cliche, and it’s the summary I tend to think, oh. . . one of those. Boring, but maybe it’ll surprise me.

I’ve been reading too many of the same kind of isekai manga lately, the overpowered and overly justified protagonist has been getting old. But this...

This is exactly what I’ve been looking for for ages.

Obvious spoilers for the ending, which is all I’m really going to rant about because I need to get this cry out or else I’m never moving on with my life...

So, Spoiler Alert: Satoki ends up returning to her own world.

That was one of the things I was looking for in an isekai. And I’ve never been more sad to have found such a perfect manga that could grant me this.

Satoki finds out that while she has stronger powers than Haruka (due to her imagination), she has a more limited fountain of power to draw from. So she can create all these fantastical, marvelous weapons, but Haruka can only create what others imagine (or something like that. It’s later explained she can also utilize this thing called memory, but what even is that? lol). 

However, the more she creates, the less “mana” she has, and it can’t replenish itself.

Haruka, on the other hand, as the true Holy Maiden, has an unlimited source of mana. 

So, in the end, Satoki really wasn’t the Holy Maiden. She really did trip into this other world. The Priestess tells her that the only thing keeping her in the world is the mana she has, and that once it runs out, she’ll return to her own world. 

And this is great news, really! Satoki has always been left out, always been just a little less important, hasn’t made so many good friends that she would overlook the pros of going back home, nor does she believe she would leave a lasting impact on the minds of everyone she met in the story. So, overall, the fact she can go back home is a positive!

Right. 

Right!?!?

NONONONONONONnodnONAFNSLDL;KJ.

Sorry, I’ll try to be a little less shaky from now on...

See, she ends up with enough mana to create a useless small thing, so the “final battle” has to be fought alongside Haruka, so that with Satoki’s imagination and Haruka’s unlimited power they can defeat the enemy!

It’s a great plan. Satoki has been forced to pretend to be the Voice of God for a while now, so she even has the important minor role of declaring Haruka the Holy Maiden (it’s a whole thing). 

After declaring Haruka “The One,” mid-battle, while they are still being attacked by both a bloodthirsty demon king and a power-hungry prince AT THE SAME TIME, Satoki decides to peace out.

And it makes a lot of sense. She does tend to be surrounded by blunders, she really should take the opportunity to leave while she still can! So she has a wonderful goodbye scene with Haruka and gives her a paper mache sword that is shiny (which is all she can do with the power she has left). 

That was wonderful. Great moment. Now, just wait for whatever will take her home to take her hom-WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, HARUKA IS NOT THE ONLY TEARFUL GOODBYE YOU HAD TO GIVE!

But of course, Satoki is a fucking idiot, she couldn’t have realized that, yes, other people wanted to say goodbye to her! They would have loved to have a moment to talk to her, to say their farewell, thank her- ugh. 

So, the mage Miva and the fake Maiden Luce are obviously who I’m talking about here. 

I fell in love with Luce the moment she appeared in the manga (relatively late) because she was so obviously taken with Satoki. While everyone often had something/someone more important than Satoki (even Haruka was more preoccupied with her love life), Luce made it clear that Satoki was important to her! 

Sure, she was taking the minimal (it was actually pretty big though!) risk by taking Satoki’s side against the prince, but it was for her! She was important to her! She and Satoki were friends through and through. 

But the dumbass thought that Luce was just taken with how much of a pretty boy Miva was. Oh yeah, she’s totally into the stupid mage she just stared down and not totally loyal to you. 

And Miva. Oh, Miva...

Lemme just...rehash what happened from the moment Satoki summoned that stupid paper mache sword.

She said goodbye to Haruka and they did the friend thing.

And then Miva grabbed her shoulder, because she just did something stupid. He straight up asks, “Why did you make such a weird decision!?”

And we have to respect that, for once in this miserable joke of a journey, she made a fucking choice of her own volition, no advice, no suggestions, she chose this herself. She thought it through and decided...hey. This is when I want to go.

So, Miva is obviously a little messed up here. Satoki is leaving. Like, right the fuck now. She didn’t tell anyone she was going to do this, and now there’s no turning back!

Before the battle, Miva had told her that he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her something. But now, there’s no god damn time, she’s on the verge of leaving forever. 

And Miva is trying his damnedest to talk to her but...they’re in the middle of a fucking war. 

The Prince orders their arrest and death or whatever, so they have to dodge that shit. 

And as they do, Luce drags Satoki down to the floor and let’s her know she is the worst best friend in the history of best friends because What the fuck? “You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye? Was I the only one who thought we were friends?”

And what a time to find out your friend is your friend (even though its been obvious from the first chapter she appeared in and even though she has told you several times in direct fashion that you should be more decisive for your own good, which is something only your friends have done, ugh-)

Anyway, Luce and Satoki get a somewhat half-assed goodbye, but it’s still nice. For the last time, Luce tells her to grow a spine and not depreciate herself.

Miva comes back, and he has something to say. But oohhh, look, the king is over there, Satoki has to know if he’s on their side or naw even though she shouldn’t care, she’s not staying long enough for it to matter!

Miva does a quick explanation but “Anyway, [he] has something to tell [her]!” but oh wait, demon king is throwing shit at them now, fucking duck. Miva saves her life with magic and time is running short, honestly, it’s kind of amazing Satoki is still here at all. How much lag does this magic have?

Satoki’s worried about the ongoing battle around her, but Miva grabs her arm and pulls her in. 

“Wait...WAIT!!!” Please, Satoki, just- hear him out, please...

He let’s her know in too many words that this whole speaking mess is a mess because she chose such a stupid time to go home! I just...lemme write this out, okay, his dialogue fucking kills me...

“It’ll be fine, just listen to me!! Look! It’s because you’re trying to go home at a time like this that things keep getting in the way! We can’t even talk like this! Properly!”

“Talk?” she asks (YES TALK).

He has hold of her arm, and he pulls her in to TALK PROPERLY but.

Her arm...disappears. Her hand is gone. She’s going. He’s out of time.

He stared at the spot where her hand is supposed to be while she says the stupidest thing, “Oh, you’re right! I’m sorry, I forgot to thank you properly...” 

The silly mask she was wearing to speak in public cracks and breaks apart, which confuses her. 

“...We really...don’t have any more time to talk now, do we?”

Why is she so worried about her mask, why can’t she look at his face? He looks so fucking devastated, and it’s actually the most emotion we’ve seen on his face since chapter one, listen to him.

“I never said anything because I didn’t want you to become spoiled and dependent on me,” a justifiable fear, but it’s hitting hard, “but you’ve really worked hard. More than enough-” She has, maybe he should have had more faith in her, however, he probably did everything just right.

An explosion behind them. Battle’s still going as he speaks, she’s obviously not paying attention.

“Well...your work...” he says.

It’s always been about her “duty” when they speak, they’ve never spoken about anything else. 

The knight wants to step up to fight the demon dick, and Satoki is worried about that obviously bad idea, and she yells at him not to do that. She is not. Listening. He’s still talking...

“...your work...isn’t what’s important...” She’s not listening. 

“What? Oh no, Roswald-san, you can’t! You have to-” She’s not listening.

“...what is important...” She’s not listening.

“I’m telling you not to go!” She’s not even part of the same conversation. 

Miva looks on, obviously giving up on telling her anything. There’s too much going on. She’s so easily distracted. Her hand is gone, she’s disappearing for good, and she’s not even paying attention to him. 

“Satoki,” he puts his hand on her head. She finally looks at him, she finally listens. He smiles at her for the first time. “You did well.”

“MAS-”

And then she’s in her school hallways, absolutely alone.

“-ter. You smiled...” 

She’s back. She meets up with her normal high school friends again. 

The End.

This fucking killed me. This is actively killing me, right now. It’s so fucking unfair. Miva and Luce deserved so much better, but Satoki never even thought about them. God dammit. 

This calls for another hour of sobbing uncontrollably. There’s absolutely nothing else after this. We left mid-battle, Miva had the saddest farewell and even Satoki admits that was an unsatisfying way to end things, but I expected it. I was expecting it to end like this ever since we found out she could go home, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

This is just the sort of protagonist she is, it was done so well, and it sucks...

This is actually it. The End. She has the manga in her hands, so she probably knows how things sort of ended up for Haruka and maybe even Miva and Luce, but we don’t. We don’t even get to know what Miva really wanted to tell her, though I have a guess...

Satoki is just a bit more decisive, but is otherwise unchanged and has returned to her world. Miva and Luce never got to see her again. 

I know for sure that if they could have chosen who of the two “Holy Maidens” they would have preferred stay, Haruka would not have been their choice. And that makes me so sad. 

The worst part is, there really is no reason it would have been better for Satoki to stay. This is actually the best possible outcome. I just wish...they’d had more time.

This is an unpopular manga. It’s been read by few people, and many of the people who read it were disappointed in the story because it had a premise that implied the cliche, yet it ended so. Anticlimactically. 

So, there really is nothing after this. Not even fan content, it’s so short and unknown I think there’s actually only two fanfictions (one in spanish, another a crossover, neither what I need right now), no fanart, no doujinshis, nothing. It’s over. It’s done. It was perfect, the. End. 

It’s exactly how it was supposed to end.

I’m so sad.

I’m probably going to draw something tomorrow. Maybe I’ll start and never finish a fanfiction. Maybe I’ll just let it go. 

[firesfelt]

hi hello ! i’m pace ( she/her ) and i have really horrible timing, as i need to go to bed like asap and also have a packed day tomorrow so can’t be on then either ( rip ) but i rlly wanted to get at least one thing posted before i go ! i’m in the gmt, and am just realising now while i think about intros that all my fcs ( for the moment ) have names beginning with ‘a’ ? inch resting. but i’ll hopefully be able to get intros up for my gals too asap & i rlly wanna do the tasks for everyone and get writing and just have a Hoot. this is the exact environment i need, u know ? exciting !!! anyway, lemme introduce my first character before i end up writing some rambled essay about,,, literally nothing.

( asami zdrenka, 26, demigirl, she/her/they/them ) EMIKA BLAKE was seen listening to HEARTBEAT BY SCOUTING FOR GIRLS on their way to TATTOO ARTIST. EM is known to be CREATIVE & STANDOFFISH.

➜ i always find emika’s personality hard to describe, but i think the best way to begin is ‘misunderstood’ ? she has good intentions, and a kind soul, but the social skills of a wet trout. she’s quiet, and reserved, and has a serious case of resting-grump-face, and it very much leads people to get the wrong sort of impression of her, through no fault of their own. the sarcasm doesn’t help, either. she’s very much a loner ( and therefore a pain in the arse to plot with ) but i always enjoy developing relationships of any kind with her and seeing how things unfold.

➜ obviously, her job has a very social side, and that’s the one thing she can manage. she has no problems communicating in a consultation, getting ideas out there, easing the nerves of an anxious first-timer, expressing herself and what could be best, but that’s often because she knows exactly what to do. she does it day in, day out, and can almost follow a script in a way. sit the same person she had the consult with down for six hours to actually have the tattoo done, and unless they make the effort to keep the conversation going, em has nothing. it’s not even that she doesn’t want to talk, either, she just struggles. and then when she does think of something to say, it can come out abrupt or abrasive, so it’s often best to just keep her mouth shut.

➜ is it obvious yet that emika’s autistic ? she has no idea of this, herself, but it’s canon, just undiagnosed. and it was, admittedly, unintentional. i’ve revamped em from a character from long ago, and the first time i played her, i didn’t set out for her to have autism, and then when i realised that she’s definitely, definitely autistic, everything made sense. it just never got picked up on at school for her, and her mother never paid enough attention to notice or care to do anything in terms of getting a diagnosis or trying to help, so it’s gone undetected. thus far, anyway, who knows ? that could be interesting.

➜ speaking of her mum, let’s talk upbringing. emika was actually born in brighton, england, to her mother, mayumi, and father, stephen. on account of him being a cheating bastard, their relationship fell apart when em was seven. stephen made an attempt with his daughter, but he was in and out of her life for the following five years. at aged twelve, she realised that he really wasn’t worth the effort it took to force a relationship with him, and told him where to stick it. three years later, mayumi would want to uproot to huntsville to follow the latest in a long line of boyfriends --- and stephen didn’t so much as protest. the relationship between mayumi and her canadian lover didn’t last ( here is where em would bitterly mutter ‘they never do’ ) but they never went home.

➜ growing up, she had two escapes: art, and books. she’d always been creative, and always been trouble. think drawing on the hallway walls in crayon at four, getting paint on the living room carpet while creating a ‘masterpiece’ at seven. aka, not trouble, just a kid being a kid, but w/e. try telling her mum that. it was easy to get lost in a drawing or a painting, and she found comfort in reading, too. she’s still a bookworm now, despite not having much free time.

➜ em works too hard. she adores her job, and doesn’t take a single day of it for granted, but she works too hard. there’s nothing she’d rather be doing, and it’s by her own choice, but her time isn’t filled with much else. she specialises in neotrad, but likes to dabble a little and expand her styles when she can. she’s so unbelievably grateful to be doing what she does, especially as it very easily could never have happened for her.

➜ with a home life that was rocky at best, em definitely struggled. as a teenager, she turned to alcohol, and long before she was even legally allowed to drink, she developed a dependency on it. even now, she’d never say she was an alcoholic, but she’d definitely admit that it was a problem, and steers clear from the stuff now. wanting nothing more than to become a tattoo artist was the motivation she needed to get sober, and she knows it very easily could’ve gone in the opposite direction. she got an apprenticeship in the end, and the rest is history.

➜ but ! she’s still young !!!! like super young !! i always like to pick a fc a couple of years younger than however old i’m playing her, because it’s kind of a thing that emika looks even younger than she is. but where a lot of asami’s resources are from a couple of years ago, i thought a year’s difference would do ! but em knows she’s young and still has so much room to learn, and she’s eager to. she just wants to get better and better.

➜ so as an individual who speaks to her mum as little as possible, has no other family in canada, and has very few friends ( if any ? ) who keeps emika company, i hear you ask ? why, it’s her two goldfish and  her chinese softshell turtle, of course. named fred, george, and dobby, respectively. she loves her tank full of friends far more than she’d ever care to admit. ideally, she’d love a dog, but doesn’t have the time to dedicate to caring for one, nor does she have the space. emika moved out at eighteen, the second she could scrape enough money together to do so, and moved into the tiniest box of an apartment, and hasn’t moved since. despite its size, she truly loves her little flat ---- and hates change.

➜ going forward, i’m open to,,, anything. with all three of my goblins, i’m really open to absolutely anything. including just vibing and seeing what happens, but i’m coming in really open and just wanting to Explore. i have an idea for a wc for em, which should be super interesting, but other than that, it’s all just vibes and goin with the flow !!

➜ i hate to wrap things up abruptly, but i really gotta go to bed lmao ( i should’ve written my intros out earlier, rip. isn’t hindsight amazing ? ) so just some things to note: when it comes to gender, em mostly idenifies as ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ and really just doesn’t think about it. she’s probably never talked to anyone about it, either, not properly/in depth. she doesn’t really think about it, and it doesn’t really,,,, matter ?? to her ?? it just sort of,,, Is. she/her absolutely flies with her, they/them is also appreciated, she really just,,, doesn’t mind. sexuality is one she did have a big crisis over ( and is it still ongoing ? kinda ) but eventually just decided that bi was the label that fit best so that’s what she goes with. she still,,, has no idea. and doesn’t know if it even matters. she split her life between brighton and huntsville, so it was never like she’d never be accepted, but it was all a big Internal Yikes for her.

➜ tldr: dog loving, artistic book enthusiast, who has more coffee in her system than blood and loves her job and her fish more than anything. a total pain in the arse, but a hard worker and bringer of sarcasm. and bitterness. but also bad jokes and gossip --- it’s easy to forget she’s there when she’s so quiet; she hears all kinds of shit.

➜ ooh ! one thing to note ! while em is obviously covered in tattoos, she doesn’t actually share any of asami’s irl ones, so pls keep that in mind ! and ignore in photos/gifs ! will have more details when i do her stats/first task, but for now i really have to go bed !! i’m v excited to be here though, ty for having me and i’ll be here properly soon <3

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 5: The Bloodkeeper

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Gaius is free. Jameson is a traitor. Kamilah is vengeful. And Nadya is a Bloodkeeper.

[READ IT ON AO3]

“He’s back.”

Part of her is angry they don’t believe her at first. But when Nadya puts herself in their shoes — and she can now, like changing coats or doing something different with her hair, the ease of it frightens her — she isn’t entirely certain she wouldn’t react the same way. Which was easier to trust; the word of a fragile girl one loud noise away from a post-traumatic breakdown, or their own memories?

Only now they’re her memories, too.

So it makes sense when they go to check. Kamilah and Adrian leaving the penthouse so quickly they may as well have jumped from the roof. It’s hard but she tries not to take it personally. It’s not like they’re avoiding Nadya. This is important. This is life or death.

This is survival or slaughter.

They aren’t stupid enough to leave her on her own again, though. Nadya’s burned all those bridges — and herself in the process. Lily comforts her because she’s scared, because Lily knows she’s scared, but comfort, in this case, is another word for ‘keeps her under constant surveillance.’

“Did you know being unconscious isn’t the same as sleeping?”

Lily looks down at her strangely. But keeps Nadya close, tucked under her arm with a grip that’s meant to ground her but also makes her feel kind of grounded? “Weird talk to fill the silence.”

“The opposite, actually.”

“What d’you mean?”

What does she mean? Or how best can she describe the noise all around her; all the voices with their cheers and screams and laughter and weeping? Lily’s the vampire — she’s supposed to be the one with the super hearing.

Well… technically she is. Since all of the things Nadya hears aren’t really there. They already happened a long time ago.

She waits too long to respond, gets lost in her own (not really) thoughts. So Lily squeezes her arm — unknowingly right on top of a not-yet-bloomed bruise from her tussle with the Trinity. And the pain anchors her to the present. Careful, some part of her warns, don’t make a habit of it.

“Nadi’.”

“I think that’s been my problem, lately,” she continues; not like it explains anything, “I’ve spent too much time hoping to just… knock out, y’know?”

“No… I don’t.”

“How did I get here?”

Lily tenses with worry and holds Nadya back at arms’ length. She probably hopes that will keep her from knowing how truly and utterly freaked out her best friend is. It doesn’t.

“You’re scaring me, Nadya.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t — it’s not something to apologize for. But… can you just… try to explain?”

She nods. She tries.

“How did I get back to Kamilah’s?” Eyes quickly roaming over the familiar furniture, doorways, displayed antiques she’s come to know so well; “I don’t remember.”

Lily inhales deep; still doesn’t quite shake such human habits as breathing. “Adrian brought you here, sweetie. You don’t remember that?”

“Where did Adrian find me?”

“In his office…” And the silence is imploring, desperate despite the calmness of her. So Lily keeps going; “You were missing for three whole days. I couldn’t track your phone, you weren’t on any camera. We tore the city up and down trying to find you but it was like… like you’d vanished into thin air.

“Then you were just back. I pinged your phone at Raines Corp. and you were there sleeping on his couch like you’d pulled an all-nighter or something. None of it made sense — still doesn’t, mind you. But I’m the one who should be asking you about all this. Not the other way around.”

Nadya’s face scrunches up while she listens; and tries to remember. Anything; a drive, a train ride, walking on her own two feet. Only there’s nothing to remember because it’s gone; swept clean. Like someone took an eraser to the white board of her life and just wiped it carelessly across. Half-words and fractured sentences left in the wake.

Something falls into her eye and it stings — makes Nadya recoil and Lily hold her tighter because Kamilah probably warned her about Nadya being a danger to herself but when are they going to understand she’s a danger to everyone else, too?

It’s sweat, she realizes in the most anticlimactic fashion. A shower would be nice — but Nadya highly doubts she’s allowed to do such an ‘alone’ activity right now. As it is she practically has to pry her best friend’s hand away so she can give herself some space. One of them still needs breathing room, after all.

“Why aren’t you asking me, then? About… all this.”

The young vampire chews her bottom lip.

“Figured we should probably wait until Adrian and Kamilah get back. You remember where they went, right?”

Oh, she remembers. She remembers that particular change of atmosphere with a clarity as striking as it is opposite of the rest of her muddled thoughts.

“I just wanna sleep, Lil’.” Nadya sighs; and the fragility of it scares her. Forces her to face the reality that she didn’t know she could be so… broken.

“So sleep. They could be gone for hours.” Lily means well — Nadya knows that. But there’s absolutely no freakin’ way that’s happening.

Lily kicks off her boots and starts to stretch out along the length of the couch. Nadya’s body agrees; an instinct forged in friendship’s fire, and scoots herself down until they’re in an all-too-familiar position. Head-meets-toes. A little uneasy and a lot cramped, and it’s no sleeping bag slumber party. Yet somehow it’s the exact balance of physical comfort and personal space she needs. Even if Lily’s ankle bumps against her temple  a few times.

They both close their eyes. Neither one sleeps.

Which is just as well, because when the Council members return to the penthouse they do so with voices raised and only rising higher.

The door slams shut with a THUD. Too loud for Nadya and Lily not to sit up far too alert to have been asleep. They know it — but don’t get the time to mention it before the fight is brought to them.

“He’s your Clan, Kamilah! You’re telling me you never suspected a thing?!”

“You were victim to Jameson’s psychic interference just as much as I!”

Adrian scoffs at the excuse. “Why didn’t you have any safeguards in place?”

“He was bound in blessed iron and witchfire! I seem to recall you agreeing with me that further measures were unnecessary!”

“You spent more time with him than anyone. You really didn’t consider he might have a way out?”

Kamilah rounds on Adrian in a whirl of dark hair and darker eyes. Her hand hovers just shy of his throat, nails like claws so familiar with that particular form of violence but not Adrian, never Adrian so she stays her wrath. For now.

“Watch what you find yourself implying, Adrian.” She snarls.

And he does — his frustration falters in the set of his brow before coming back in a different way. “You know I don’t mean that. I could never. I just…”

“Like I’ve been saying since we left —” Jax doesn’t have to shout to be heard over them; the growl deep-set in his curled upper lip is more than enough, “— neither of you are thinking straight. Yelling louder doesn’t make either one of you more right. On the contrary — you’re both very very much at fault.”

He stares them down; their bond, their years and experience trying to push him into submission but Jax doesn’t let it happen. He stands resolute and damn the rest.

“I take it the vampire Don Corleone wasn’t safe and sound where you left him last, huh?” asks Lily, and if she hoped to serve as a human (you get the point) crowbar intent on prying them apart… well its the thought that counts.

Even Adrian looks at her with a strangely scolding reproach. “I know you mean well, Lily, but if you fully understood the seriousness of the situation, you’d know now isn’t the time for jokes.”

“Yeah, well, maybe if you guys would share with the class instead of storming off I’d understand the seriousness of the situation.”

Nadya reaches out a hand to Lily’s arm; tries to stop her before she says something that actually does some damage. Her best friend gives her a look of “what, you know I’m right,” but it’s not about who is right and who is wrong.

Not against him.

She chances a look to Kamilah, oddly silent compared to moments ago. And just as she feared — Kamilah’s looking right back at her. Surveying her; trying to find something wrong with her. If only Nadya could express just how much of the woman’s self-doubt she feels as her own.

“He wasn’t there, was he. Gaius wasn’t in the Onyx Sarcophagus.” It’s not a question because she knows the answer. After all, it kidnapped her and fed her fancy wine and food and split her skull in two with a psychic jackhammer.

Kamilah purses her lips. “No. And you knew we would not find him.”

“I… yes. I knew.”

At Kamilah’s side, Adrian runs his hand over his face. Paler than she’s ever seen him, even when he was starving, beaten, and facing the executioner’s sword… or sunrise.

“How do you even know about him, Nadya,” desperation bleeding through his voice, “let alone where he… where we…”

All that he’s feeling and Nadya sees that he’s still holding himself back. Like if he feels it, or lets himself feel all of it, that makes everything worse. Somehow accepting those emotions makes everything Adrian’s fault.

But it’s not. It’s not your fault Adrian, it’s not.

“He showed me. He… he led me to it.”

“Who? Jameson?”

Kamilah scoffs. “Don’t be such a fool, Adrian. You know very well who.”

“But that shouldn’t have been possible.”

“What does that matter?” Jax kicks off from the wall and braces against the back of the couch. “It happened. Can’t change it. The only thing looking back at the past is good for is figuring out your mistakes so you don’t repeat them.”

“We didn’t make any mistakes.”

“Yes, we did.”

All eyes on Kamilah as she raises herself to a height Nadya didn’t know she was hiding. It’s a stature — a kind of weight on her shoulders she’s so far only seen worn by the Trinity. Two thousand years accepted and owned in one fluid motion.

She’s terrifying, and she’s beautiful, and she’s… she’s Kamilah.

“We underestimated him. I underestimated him. We allowed ourselves to believe Gaius could be chained and held prisoner. That he would accept the punishment we had agreed upon; that he should be forced to stare into the abyss of eternity alone, in the dark, and thought that he may face his actions and understand the consequences.”

She turns to Adrian vulnerable; raw in a way she can’t quite control. She carries the weight of her years but not without struggle. “Our mistakes were not physical, Adrian. But the day we took our victory and believed the matter put to rest with him was the day we blinded ourselves to the truth. Because… it was easier that way.

“We should have killed him.”

The look in his eyes — he agrees even if he won’t say it out loud. A gathering storm of guilt and responsibility and taking the consequences on his shoulders and seeing the both of them like that… it breaks her heart in a way Nadya didn’t even know could be felt. Until now.

“Fine,” he spits out the word in a bitter pill, “but none of that explains how Nadya is involved.”

Nadya hopes her smile is a reassuring one — but something tells her she’s too exhausted and it just looks weary. The way his face falls only hits it home. “I thought the same thing. Until he explained it to me.”

“He what?”

She can feel his panic itching under her skin like an ugly sweater she can’t pull over her head. Kamilah’s, too, though she hides it better and takes a knee in front of Nadya where she sits. She rests a cool palm on her thigh; tries and succeeds to keep the tsunami of emotions she’s feeling out of her face but Nadya doesn’t need to see them to feel them there.

“Nadya,” she rasps, “what did he explain?”

“My visions.”

“How did he know —” But the question dies on her lips; what’s the use in asking when they both know the answer?

He’s Gaius.

“Start from the beginning.”

It’s not a request.

LINEHERE

“You know, Bloodkeeper sounds like an epic R-P-G title.”

Though the moment she says it Lily looks over way out of the corner of her eye — like she isn’t sure if it’s okay to be making light of the whole business just yet.

Nadya’s smile is weak, but there. “I wish. Then I could return it and get my money back.”

“Store credit and you know it.”

She shrugs in a touché kind of way; looks back to Kamilah in hopes she might say something, anything — even if it’s just to scold them for not “taking things seriously.”

But the vampiress is as silent as she has been from the moment Nadya began recounting the events of… well, a couple nights ago now.

And saying nothing is sucky sure — but that Kamilah won’t even meet Nadya’s eyes is what really punches her in the gut.

Suddenly Adrian leans forward in his chair, elbows-on-knees, and buries his face in his hands.

“Adrian…?” She calls hesitantly — wanting so badly to go over there and comfort him. But if he rejected her now Nadya isn’t so sure she’d survive it. Not in one piece.

Kamilah distracts her with a touch. “Do you remember where you were taken?”

She has to dig… really deep and down and she has a feeling she shouldn’t remember where but it was too terrible a betrayal not to find the pain of it lingering in her chest.

“Marcel’s. I—I recognized the gardens. But I didn’t see him — maybe he…” And what kind of a world are they living in now where the idea of Marcel being held captive is a better one than him being complicit?

Any hope is dashed, though, when Kamilah shakes her head. “No; while I’m saddened to hear it I can’t say it surprises me. Marcel adored Gaius, and I think he held a soft spot for the boy as well. Enough that he valued Marcel’s innocence and kept him from knowing the more gruesome aspects of his plans. It took him many years to forgive Adrian and I for our turning against him.”

Jax’s face twists in disgust. “This kid, what, wanted Gaius’ crazy plan to happen?”

“He wished for a world where we no longer had to hide,” Kamilah replies in measure, “and I will not begrudge him that. But I have to hope the glamour of his return will soon fade and Marcel will… make the right choice.”

Glamour. Against her will, when Nadya inhales she smells death and rot. Behind her closed eyelids she can still see his opaque eyes…

“And you really believe all of this, Nadya?” asks Jax instead; he’s gotten good at changing the subject when they all know it’ll end in argument. Hanging her head counts as a nod, right?

“I do.”

“Even knowing how crazy manipulative this guy apparently is.”

“He could explain everything.”

Jax scoffs. “Yeah, and that’s wrapped up a little too neat and tidy for me.”

“While skepticism is a healthy trait to have when Gaius is involved, Matsuo, he gains nothing from lying.” Kamilah stands so suddenly Nadya gets secondhand vertigo. “As it is — I can confirm his claims.”

They all watch as she practically vanishes — gone in one blink and back in the next. She returns clutching a small book bound in old leather greyed and sagging with age. Nadya can see the echoes of its former splendor in her mind’s eye. Something from the library in her office, probably.

Kamilah flips hastily through the worn parchment pages; finds something near the end that makes her expression fall the barest flicker. “The myth of the Bloodkeeper.”

Part of Nadya wants to wrench the book from her hands. Another wants to chuck it from the building roof. “Please tell me that’s some kind of encyclopedia.”

“Nothing so concrete.”

Beside her, Lily’s practically jumping out of her own body. “Lore loot… that’s some high-level shit.”

“Lil’.”

“Actually, given I’m understanding the context correctly, she’s nearly accurate.” Which makes Lily pound her fist into the air and hold it out to Kamilah — but hell hasn’t frozen over just yet.

“For the first thousand years or so, Gaius kept me close at hand. Only once did I leave his side and it was at his own behest. He tasked me to find a book; a journal of some sort. With the scarcest of leads I scoured the vast city of Pataliputra for a decade. Until I found it coveted by an old madwoman.”

Nadya shivers against a breeze that isn’t there.

“And?”

“And she knew who I was. Never had we so much as toed the Empire’s borders and she knew me. My name, my birthplace, my deeds… ones no mortal could have shared — ones with no survivors.”

Kamilah goes eerily silent; lost in her own memory. God forbid Nadya be lost in it too. “Kamilah.”

Twice she blinks, lets her eyes lose their glaze of the past. “I told him I had found the book, and with a few pages to prove it’s existence. As well as a pile of ashes.”

Adrian snaps to attention and the movement makes Nadya jump. He’d been so quiet, so still… more a grave than a man.

“You lied to Gaius?”

“It was my small act of youthful rebellion.”

“I just can’t believe he bought it.”

“You’d be surprised just how much trust he had in me. Even in the beginning.”

Lily raises her hand but doesn’t wait to get called on. “Uhm, can we get back to the mad old lady trope?”

Only she doesn’t have to. Nadya reaches out for the journal and when Kamilah lays it gently in her open palm it feels… familiar. Like it’s been in her hand before — each word from her own thoughts onto the page.

“She was a Bloodkeeper.”

Kamilah nods. The hairs on the back of Nadya’s neck stand up; all four vampires watch her flip through thin pages with anticipation. Do they expect her to suddenly pull an Exorcist and start screaming memories in a demonic rage?

“The word is mentioned nearest the end. She describes a relief at naming herself; she feels unburdened by it. And the way she describes learning it is as though it came to her in a… a dream.”

She falters — Nadya doesn’t look away from the entries written in a language she can’t even read. She doesn’t have to.

Kamilah’s never sounded less certain of, well, anything in her life. “I see the signs, now. The mere potential of that knowledge was… I wanted to forget it, Nadya. I did — even in your hour of need.”

There’s not much use in trying to read it; when Nadya hands Kamilah back the book she makes a point of touching the back of her hand. “I believe you. You don’t need to be sorry.”

“I promised you I would find a way to ease your suffering.”

“And you did.” The journal falls abandoned on the rug between them, they might as well be completely alone. In fact Nadya would rather they were. “You did, Kamilah.”

“A-hem—” Coughs Jax into his fist with all the tact of, well, Nadya. “Let’s skip to the part where he let you go. Anyone else find that interesting?”

“He’s right,” Adrian agrees, “Gaius isn’t the type to let go of things—people—he claims belong to him.”

He is right. Nadya knows it too. But when she scrunches up her nose and thinks really really hard? It’s easier to remember her eighth birthday party.

“I can’t remember.”

“Well isn’t that ironic.” Lily teases dryly.

“More like convenient…” Adrian trails off — finds Jax giving him a hard eye.

“What did I say? Too neat and tidy.”

Kamilah reaches out to stroke her fingertips along Nadya’s arm; a caress even while literally holding herself at arms’ length. “Jameson’s doing, I’m sure.”

Jameson.

“Nadya?”

She looks down to see she’s gone rigid under the woman’s touch. Not that she relaxes. The Council members had been arguing about Jameson when they returned. And Valdas… hadn’t Valdas said he was the one who had messed with her head — influenced her, he’d called it.

“He took it.”

“Took what?”

Jameson who deceived them all. Jameson who forced her to take on memories she wasn’t ready for. Jameson who poured the wine and served the dinner and all the while loathed that he didn’t have a seat at the table.

“My head… he… he…”

Jameson who offered her water.

Before he took hold of her head and dug psychic spears into her mind over and over until he found what he was looking for.

What Gaius was looking for.

Nadya groans; knocks her glasses aside in her haste to somehow stop the pain. She presses the heels of her palms against her eyes and kind of hopes they’ll pop into her skull to dull the pain.

“Nadya!” comes Adrian’s voice, suddenly too close, and she throws out a hand to try and keep him at a distance. “What — what’s wrong?”

“Give her space, Adrian,” comes Kamilah’s voice, hypocritically closer but far less panicked; instead she’s a cool drink of water through the burning pain where Jameson had singed a hole into her memory.

“Keep going, Nadya. Whatever Jameson has taken is in your power to retrieve.”

Encouraging words from a woman not feeling like her head is a matchstick alight. “N-Not… it’s like a wound. It hurts…”

Lily squeezes her shoulder. “Come on, Nadi’. You’re literally the only one who can.”

Blindly Nadya reaches out over her shoulder, grasps at the void with uncertainty, but it doesn’t last long.

“I’m right here Nadya,” whispers Adrian in her ear, voice thick and unsure but none of that matters because his grip is the exact opposite, “we all are.”

“Even Jax,” Lily chimes in.

“I can support her without the group hug.”

It makes Nadya laugh; a spluttering thing wet with tears and spots in her eyes and everything sharp nipping at her head trying to take a chunk out of her. And somehow in the midst of it all… something snaps back into place.

“TheAmuletofNero!” The words tumble from Nadya and leave her heaving for breath. Adrian’s disembodied hand holds a glass of water in front of her and she doesn’t hesitate to gulp it down. Could give absolutely one hundred percent less of a care if she spills half of it down her chin — which she does.

She comes up from drowning in the cup, coughs on the water sloshing around in her lungs, and tries again.

“The… The Amulet of Nero. That’s what he wanted. He… he needed to remember where it was hidden.”

“Because he’s, what, going senile in his old age?” Lily asks, rightfully skeptical.

Gasp. “He —” —gulp, gasp— “— he didn’t hide it. Someoneelse… and he didn’tknow…” And just when she thinks she’s got only air in her lungs Nadya’s body throws her into another fit.

Adrian returns with a second glass; before she can take it he holds it out of reach with a warning, “slowly, this time,” and waits until she nods to give it to her. “‘The Amulet of Nero?’ I’ve never heard of it.”

Everyone looks at Kamilah for an answer, then. How is it possible that just when she’s certain the woman can’t possibly look any more worried, she manages all too well?

“That’s because Gaius had hidden it away long ago by then. And for good reason.”

Nadya sips her water — with every cool taste the psychic pain receding further and further into nothing. The sight makes Kamilah’s lips quirk upward and brings her hand to the human’s fevered brow. But her eyes are too sad for it to be a smile.

“If Gaius is looking for the Amulet then things are far worse than I imagined.”

[it-will-not-last-the-night]

Blegh

In terms of Persona 5 I’d been riding high mostly since P5D. I’d been positive mostly over it because P5D and fan-generated content had been lovely overall and really engaging and enjoyable. It had helped me forget that the main game itself seriously does upset me at times and I have a less than ideal opinion of it.

*Sigh*

Now I’m starting to feel like that again. Both announcements of today have left brought back to mind some of my biggest problems with Persona 5 and the way Atlus writes in general. What are they? A bit of a lesson then in me;

For myself there are three events in Persona 5 that I really REALLY just consider outright despicable. In no order they are; 1) Two homosexual adult males being negatively stereotyped as child molesters targeting Ryuji 2) Ryuji’s friends responding to one of the greatest acts of selflessness in the entire story by physically abusing Ryuji and 3) The Valentine’s Day event making Canon that Akira/Ren is horrible, Sojiro is horrible and that Atlus thinks all the girls are vapid idiots. 

‘Magical Valentine’ raises an issue I’ve always had but makes it even more forceful. You see in the game the Valentine’s Event is only ‘optionally’ canon. You can play a canonical run-through and not have it occur. So you can, legitimately, without needing headcanon or fanon, just have your own canon playthrough in which the girls are not vapid idiots. The anime however, now, makes it that, for the Animation, it is canon that Akira/Ren is an awful person and that the girls are vapid idiots. Oh and that Sojiro is just literally the worst like...like he is scum in this event. As bas as Akira/Ren is (and he’s bad in this version!) the bigger problem I think a LOT of people forget about the Valentine’s Harem Route is that it literally casts Sojiro as a Guardian of Futaba who would lie to conceal her boyfriend’s infidelities...even when said infidelities LITERALLY CAUSE FUTABA TO CRY! 

So the animation is now making it canon that; 1) Akira/Ren sees no reason he has to be honest or forthright with any females in his life 2) Sojiro holds such low regard for his daughter he will aide Akira/Ren in an ongoing deception and emotional manipulation of her RIGHT AFTER SHE OVERCAME A SUICIDAL PHASE OF HER LIFE and 3) That Ann, Makoto, Futaba, Haru, Takemi, Kawakami, Ohya, Hifumi and Chihaya all fall in love with the exact same person and are literally when confronted with incontervertible evidence of his infedilities not only tricked into instantly accepting that them all bringing him chocolate on Valentine’s Day was a ‘misunderstanding’ but, in the case of the Phantom Thieves members, this has so little impact on them that mere days later they have no reaction.

AKA the ending Valentine’s Harem Route basically says: “Akira/Ren successfully cheated on all the girls in his life, and is free to continue to do so since they are so stupid that they could be convinced to assume it was a ‘misunderstanding’ even under the most blatantly false of pretext,” the ending basically gives carte blanche to say that Akira/Ren will probably keep cheating on the women in his life because, well, they’re so stupid that even if they all end up right in front of him, confessing their love for him to each other’s faces...they somehow think this was a ‘misunderstanding’?

That’s gonna be canon now for the animation. Not ‘optional’ canon, just...just outright canon. Literally everything in the Canon is soured now. Did you like Ren’s bond with Ann in the foregoing episodes? Well bad news; Ren literally is willing to commit to an intimate relationship with her and then emotionally cheat on her with several different women at once. Did you like how Ren played a pivotal role in building Futaba’s character and helping her grow out of her emotional turmoil? Well sucks for you cause Ren is literally willing to lie to this girl’s face and tell her he loves her whilst carrying on behind her back with numerous other women.

It sort of goes without saying that this kinda wrecks P5A completely since, canonically, Akira/Ren is now just an irredeemable asshole and the female characters are reduced to stock harem-style idiot love interests with basically 0 individuality because everyone has to love the Protagonist (self-insert!).

But when you think about it even in the original game...this was a problem. Sure you could choose not to do it...but you could also choose to do it. This means, technically, as far as Atlus’ writing is concerned, canonically Akira/Ren has it in him to be a complete asshole with no respect for women or his friends...and the females in the game are all vapid idiots. That’s technically canon since that’s required for the Valentine’s Route to work.

Oh, also, that Sojiro is the worst. The worst.

The Valentine’s Harem Event, like the Ryuji abusing event post Shido’s Palace. does irrevocable damage to the characters and the content itself, kinda ruining it since for it to be canon...well it means the characters are terrible people or stupid. Why I sort of have to choose to ignore them to actually like the story.

Of course what does all this writing have in common? It’s a JOKE! Haha! Ryuji’s being abused, isn’t this funny? Haha! The girls are all vapid idiots and Joker’s such a chick magnet they have no varying tastes in partner at all! Haha! Gay men want to force Ryuji to undress for them! 

Isn’t this funny? I mean, no, of course not. In almost all these cases the ‘humour’ is...someone suffering. A common retort I then see is; it’s not canon, its just for a joke.

But the problem is it is, all, strictly canon. I could definitely understand if these things were packaged as clear ‘not canon’ events. 

Here’s an example; the Blazblue game series has ‘joke’ endings which are explicitly not canon but usually feature bizarre or ‘funny’ scenes. One of said scenes is a reoccuring bit in which the protagonist Ragna is made to wear glasses that causes the female cast to all fall in love with him. Putting aside the fact for the moment that, to me, this still isn’t funny since its treating the Mind Rape of the entire female cast as a ‘joke’ the fact remains that it is, however, not canon. The creators make sure that nothing that happens here technically infringes on or diminished the canon character content by making it explicitly non-canon.

Persona 5, both the game and now the Animation, take no such efforts. There are no efforts to make clear that Ryuji being beaten up is a ‘comedic non-canon overreaction’ or that Akira/Ren being a womanizing prick and Sojiro being the WORST are just ‘comedic non-canon skits’ all these are played as explicitly, irrefutably, canon. That is how the characters are, as far as Atlus is concerned. That is their opinions, their beliefs etc.

Is it weird that P5 Dancing has the best, most wholesome, most healthy characterization of the entire Persona 5 Franchise? I suppose maybe the mangas are good to, I must admit I’ve never read any of them since from what I can tell Ryuji is basically ignored in all of them in favour of focus on the girls.

Atlus has a writing problem and that problem is centered I fear on a simple fact; the protagonist is a self-insert who is assumed to be a self-insert for a very specific formula; a young male who sees female characters as things he wishes to collect for himself and wants to feel adored by. Almost all of the major writing problems stem from this; Girls seem exploited or turned into vapid haremettes? Well, obviously, gotta appeal to that ‘chick magnet’ fantasy. Homosexuality is cast as negative or frightning? Well, obviously, the fantasy being appealed to is explicitly heterosexual in nature, everything else is ‘icky’. Other males seem to constantly be the butt of a joke or consistently shown up compared to the protagonist? Naturally since the fantasy is about making the player feel like ‘the man’ and all other men are simply lame by comparison so that the girls will only love the protagonist (the self-insert).

What really bums me out about all of this is that Atlus can write such amazing scenes as Ryuji’s ‘the place I belong is next to you,’ but then in that same game or anime have the Valentine’s Event and the Ship scene. I imagine in part this is due to it being a game first, story second, so they feel there are ‘beats’ that need to be there (the loser must be made fun of, the protagonist must get all the girls) even if, from a storyboarding point of view...it just makes the characters look A) Very inconsistent in personality and attitude (Ren’s infamous standing up for a stranger being assaulted but then instantly refusing to step in to help Ryuji in Shinjuku) or B) Like massive asshats (The entire Valentine’s Event from Ren and Sojiro’s perspectives.

It is just...its sad. I want to like this story because there is legitimately good characters and writing but...in the name of appealing to the lowest common denominator it gets weighted down by stuff which is explicitly canon and makes the characters awful. 

It really makes it tough to like it at times.

*Sigh*

At the end of the day I don’t know how to handle this. Accepting its canon makes a lot of people awful or stupid. Headcanoning it away is fine but...then I gotta accept I don’t like Persona 5 per say, I like what I, or other fans, create from Persona 5.

Also can we please just be able to date Ryuji. Please Atlus. We don’t need another female character to be another fangirl for Joker, to be another vapid idiot who can be duped by the WORST Sojiro, please Atlus, please. Please. There are ENOUGH love interests Atlus, please try perhaps instead stop treating women like little toys for a protagonist to effortlessly collect and dupe. 

Watching all the Persona 5 Girls (sans Sae) in the Valentine’s Event is painful. They are characters I like, many of them have good writing...and then they are reduced to props to make a player feel “Oh yeah! Such a chick magnet! They all want me! Women are simply a commodity by which I inflate my own sense of self-worth since having multiple of them attracted to me and betrayed by me makes me feel as if this is a positive development and not a negative one!”

And I do mean that seriously. Look at most content or statements around the Valentine’s Event. They frame it positively. The ‘harem’ ending, Joker is such a ‘chick magnet’ and so ‘alpha’ etc. etc. 

Terrible emotional betrayal? Deep seated trust issues? Sojiro treating his own daughter like garbage? Ignored because ‘Joker is a PLAYER! WOOO!” And this is overall seen as a positive development. 

By now I’ve rambled on ridiculously long but if I must have a conclusion it is thus; Please give us a Female Protagonist who can date the other boys and stop selling this sexist approach where non-protagonist males and all females serve the same purpose; inflating the ego of the player character. 

[obserfdom]

Taylor Swift, A Real Person Inside Celebrity Attire

I wanna have a break for awhile in speculating about Taylor Swift' sexuality/relationship and dedicate this writing solely focusing on her as a person.

Honestly, I've never a big fans of her. Nor to any other celebrities out there. I am always a casual listener to any music. And very seldom I attentively scrutinizing song lyrics. But falling to Kaylors fandom inevitably forced me to dig more about Taylor Swift. I was very much surprise knowing how popular she is, or how successful she is building up an empire of 'devotees'. She is a queen in almost every sense.

But only through knowing how relatable her character is to ourselves as a non celebrity that truly inspiring and gradually takes me to grow a soft-tenderness feeling toward her. And like a teen swiftie, I can't help to echo their praise: "I love you, Taylor Swift!"

Here, I am just going to copy a relatable normal human being version of Taylor's story from many sources - mostly from people with direct interaction with her, the 'normal' people. If one still deducting flaws out of her personality, after reading these kind of testimonials - well it would speak a lot about who the person is rather than being about Taylor Swift.

***

From Rolling Stone:

We’ve been talking for a while when a boat rows up carrying three teenagers – two girls and a guy. “Oh, my God!” says one of the girls. “Today is my birthday! Can I please take a picture with you?” Swift laughs. “You can, but I don’t know how you’re going to. You’re on a boat, buddy!”

“I’ll get off!” the girl says. “I’ll find a way.” Swift and her bodyguard reach out and help her into the pavilion. “You’re going to make me cry!” she says.

“Is it really your birthday?” Swift asks.

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” the girl says.

“Oh, that’s a good year.”

“I know. I’m excited.”

The girl says she lives on Long Island. She and her friends took the train in for the day. “That’s cute,” Swift says. “Are you going to dinner somewhere?”

The girl scrunches up her face. “We were going to . . . Chipotle?”

Swift smiles. She goes to her purse and pulls out a wad of cash – $90, to be exact. “Here,” she says. “Go somewhere nice.”

“Oh, my God,” the girl says. “Thank you!” She climbs back in the boat, and she and her friends paddle off.

Note:

$90 may not be a big number for a celeb like Taylor Swift with an estimated worth around 360 million USD. However, that was probably the only cash she had in hand - and Taylor gave it all to the teen girl she barely knew only cause she probably felt that she could contribute to boost this girl's happiness by adding the teen with more fund to spend on her birthday.

This was not only sweet but it genuinely a very grandeur kindnest.

***

"Is Taylor Swift actually a nice person?" - a question made in Quora:

Anonymous answered it, in May 21th 2018

This post has been a long time coming. I am answering this question anonymously for a number of reasons: 1) I do not wish to inadvertently become tabloid fodder; 2) I do not wish to capitalize on Taylor; 3) I enjoy my relatively normal life; and 4) I believe the anonymity is well-deserved on Taylor’s part. Although Taylor may be able to determine who is writing this, I do not believe such information to be of use to the public. I am sure, if she wished, she could write me a letter and reconnect at anytime. That is her choice to make.

Before Taylor hit it big, Taylor and I spent months emailing back and forth on MySpace. We were the same age with similar tastes in music, similar viewpoints on life, and similar, sarcastic senses of humor. We were both trying to make it in music and grow a fan base. We confided in each other. We trusted each other. We had an ongoing, supportive relationship that helped both of us when we sometimes felt there was nowhere else to turn. Few knew of my coversations with her - but some of Taylor’s closest friends did know they were taking place (they called me “the guy on MySpace,” as it is my understanding Taylor did not tell them my name).

The two of us, still in our teens and miles apart, began writing to each other in short messages at first. We would discuss music, school, and random jokes we would make upon the fly. As time went on, the messages (and their topics) went from short and complimentary to in-depth and personal. We would write messages to one another that, if printed, would be multiple pages long. Looking back, these were the messages of two teenagers trying to find themselves and, in the process, found a friend in one another. We never had expectations, just a supportive friendship with a member of the opposite sex we could not seem to find offline. Although our situations and backgrounds were very different, our similarities closed any gap between us.

During our time messaging, Taylor had hit a rough patch in her life. That may be easy to balk at if you see Taylor as a flawless celebrity rather than the caring and thoughtful person that she is - but the struggle she was experiencing at the time was very real and had its toll on her, a teen trying to find her place. I would do my best to encourage her from a distance and support her as the situation unfolded. Taylor did the same for me. The mutual respect and maturity shared with one another was like nothing else I had experienced. As for Taylor, I believe she felt the same.

Then, something happened. I began to emotionally struggle with the loss of a grandparent who had passed in 2002. As a young person, I had buried the pain for years and did not know how to cope. I had little in terms of a support mechanism in my “real” life. But things were just beginning in Taylor’s career. I thought that my burdens would weigh Taylor down. So, rather than turn to Taylor for support or tell her what happened, I did the only thing sixteen year old me knew how to do… I closed myself off, shut down my MySpace page… and tried to grapple with the experience on my own. To this day, I feel guilty about having left her out in the dark. But I still believe I did the right thing. Taylor had a dream we both shared and it was becoming a reality. I was not about to stand in the way by making her worry about her friend. She was too kind and sweet to me. Strapping her with that type of burden would have been unjustifiable. As fast as I had entered it, I was out of Taylor’s life. If she saw me today, it is unlikely she would recognize me as that guy who was playing country songs. That is not the path my life took.

Fast forward to today and I am a highly educated person who has been able to carve my own path in this world. By any measure, I have been successful for my age. If Taylor were not a celebrity, I believe her story would be much the same.

What you see and hear about Taylor does not scratch the surface or come near the reality. The claims about her doing things for publicity, being an uncaring person, or using others are nowhere near an accurate description of the person I grew to know. Taylor is a kind, caring, compassionate person who wants nothing more than to love and be loved. Her acts of charity are not acts of publicity, they are acts of character. She has earned and deserves her career. Knowing her as I did, I cannot help but believe she often longs for normalcy, anonymity, and questions what it would be like if she were simply Taylor to this day - not the celebrity, but another person who lived life without being subjected to the critiques, comments, and ridicule.

I knew Taylor for Taylor, she was wonderful. In the unlikely event she reads this, I apologize for not writing back and hope she understands why I made that decision. I kicked myself for years - not because of the fame she found, but because of the friend I loss.

Taylor, I am proud of how far you have made it in this world.

Note:

Me and approximately 8.3k Quora-ers agreed that this guys story is genuine.

***

Steve Parr - a quora-er, answered this (from the same Quora page):

I’ve met Taylor Swift twice, both while I was working for Taylor Guitars.

The first time was at the Winter NAMM Show in Anaheim, California. She was there with her father who BEGGED Bob Taylor to let her play on our performance stage. I think she was about 15 at the time. She was nervous and her songs weren’t great, but she was beaming and very appreciative of the time given her.

The second time was when she held her album release party for Fearless (2008) at the Taylor factory in El Cajon, CA. There was a nationwide contest where two people were flown from each state to San Diego to attend the party, get a meet & greet and attend a private concert for a total of about 250 people. I was heavily involved in photography, so the production company hired me to shoot the meet & greet and the concert.

When she arrived at our factory for that event, she came in through the back of our shipping warehouse. As she walked through, she greeted everyone, giving them a long, solid hug while saying “hello”. Now, some of these guys were hardcore warehouse types who were dirty and sweaty. That didn’t matter to Swift. She didn’t have to do what she did, but she did it. I thought that spoke highly of her character.

So, yeah, she’s really a nice person…

Note:

If you familiar with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, you probably remember the first few pages about "bus driver" story. This guy spread the joy with his inert kindnest. He was the example of emotional intelligence that Goleman referred to.

Reading the above testimony remind me of the bus driver. If you think Taylor Swift doesn't atleast possess a lil of EI, then I think you need to re-think about how you view the world - and start to trust humanity act of kindnest again.

***

Final thought:

Really I could copy paste dozen of testimonials out there about Taylor Swift. Esp from fans who lucky enough to meet her in person during secret sessions. They are not only being loyal to Taylor because they led by 'blindness' by Taylor's charm - but more because I could see that Taylor had touched their heart with her genuinely nice behaviours. Treating her fans as in the highest value, is one of Taylor's rare quality as human being.

Not to mention, Taylor has been involved in many charitably acts through out the years - a very good role model not only to youth but to all of us in general. I could say that her parents have raised her well and influenced her to continue being grounded.

Oh yes, I am fully aware that Taylor Swift is mere human with all the flaws and far from perfection - and I have no doubt that she awares of it too - nevertheless, if one lacking in appreciation toward others and only focus in finding every lil dirts, as haters would be, well that speaks more about them compare to the object of their rants. That just like one unconsciously noticed their own version of 'elephant in the room', but rather than face it - they cowardly projecting it to other. And public figure, esp a sweet lollipop like Taylor, sadly always an easy target achery.

Xxx

[memecatwings]

I know I said I was going to outline a rewrite for Misfits and I'm doing it so take that executive dysfunction I also compiled a playlist of songs I think best depict the aesthetic of my rewrite so here it is

Ok first off everything past season 3 is just straight up SCRAPPED there were so many horrible gay jokes, and rape jokes as well as transphobia, misogyny, and literal instances of rape so it’s going out the window i accept NONe of it  except Abby the lesbian, Abby the lesbian can stay

Plot-wise,,, nothing much happens in the show aside from interacting with other super-powered people. There really isn’t any suspense or intrigue, I doubt I would have stuck around as long as I did without Robert Sheehan’s chaotic fun energy. And what are the police even doing? They should be able to connect how many people are going missing from the community center, trying to evade the police should be a bigger deal than it’s shown to be in the show, it should be an ongoing challenge that they face not just a one-time thing.

So basically what I’m saying is that after the second probation worker, the police start to take a closer look into the community center, they keep a close eye on the people who spend time there, maybe the cop who arrested Curtis gets assigned the task and that causes some tension. 

Mainly what I wanted to overhaul were the characters and their arcs. I feel like they weren’t really explored to their full potentials and it really disappointed me especially where Nathan and Curtis’ characters were concerned. None of the characters were really done any justice but I was most upset about those two so that’s where most of my notes are. I was mainly upset about the whole thing where they sold their powers, and then bought back completely different powers, I felt like that cheapened the whole thing where the superpowers were specifically tailored to each person's insecurities and fears. Having a power that is the physical manifestation of your insecurities was a good way to address those issues that the characters have and help them overcome them I don’t know why you would throw that away especially when you haven’t even taken the time to develop them. So I’d like to ditch that entirely. There still is a point where they sell their powers because that in and of itself wasn’t bad, it teaches them to appreciate what they were given, but they get the exact ones back. Basically, all of the events that happen are the same except the ones I specify in the following:

Curtis Curtis’ arc and his ability to rewind time reflect his inability to accept things the way they are. He’s living in the past, he’s so focused on the past that he can’t see what’s right in front of him. He needs to learn how to focus on the present and future. His arc should also reflect overcoming prejudices against him as well as that. The cop who arrested him was also black so if that same cop where to be investigating the community service crew it would provide a chance to discuss racial biases in law enforcement as well as police brutality. It results in a “fuck cops” message in the end but it would be a good chance to at least address the fact that the only reason Curtis was there is because of his skin color in more explicit terms.  Because Curtis is so focused on the past, he doesn’t have any goals for the future. I did really like the point where he had gender fluidity as a power I thought that was a good development for him. It was a chance for him to confront his own toxic masculinity and misogyny, and he comes out of it at the end a more understanding and empathetic person who’s ready to let go of his past. Once Seth gets the rewind time ability back Curtis switches back to his original power, I thought it was cheap that they had Curtis give up gender fluidity because he got pregnant (what even was that honestly is that even possible? It didn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about impregnation to dispute it), so instead of giving it to the iguana it goes back to Curtis, who is shown to be responsible with it. After he gets it back he manages to learn how to control it to its fullest extent. Another thing I thought was cheap was the way the show treated the sexual assault of men, I can’t go into it fully but here’s a great video essay on the subject. Anyways, Alecia did rape Curtis, and that’s not okay. While Alecia learned her lesson on misusing her power, what she did to Curtis should not have just been written off, Curtis was right to be upset with her and that shouldn’t have ended with them as a couple in my opinion.  The last thing I would change where Curtis is concerned is that I think Curtis should have been the man in the mask, not Simon. Curtis has the athletic history, he’s got the right metal profile, he’s got the ability to time travel, and, most of all, vigilante justice would provide what he was looking for when he gave up running: a purpose and a future beyond bartending. Maybe he goes back in time to warn them all about the evil milk guy, he was the only person immune to his lactose powers. After saving Alecia from that video game guy (Tim? Was Tim his name?) he goes back to his time but not before warning them about Milk Man. And the reason Future Curtis survived Tim(?) was that he wasn’t a dumbass and wore a bulletproof vest. 

Alecia  Alecia’s got a lot to unpack and it’s very clear that she was treated like shit by the writers. Her power was the physical manifestation of her belief that her value as a person is proportional to the number of people who want to have sex with her. She’s internalized this toxic mindset to such a high degree that she developed a superpower over it. Her character arc should revolve around her unlearning that mindset. She needs to stop viewing herself as a sex object and start viewing herself as a person. That journey of self-discovery and growth should start after Curtis rejects her for using her power on him without his consent. It kick-starts a realization in her that using her power on people is essentially raping them, even if they don’t remember it. So she stops and focuses her time on finding someone who can either get rid of her power or is unaffected by it. Alecia is the one who finds Seth first and sells her power. The main point of her arc should be that while statistically, men are more likely to perpetrate sexual assault, women can too and it’s neither okay or funny. After getting rid of her power Alecia shows a lot of regret for the way she used it when she first got it and pays Seth extra to get rid of it entirely because no one should be able to use that power.  Now let’s look at Alecia’s romance with Simon. As a concept, it isn’t bad, but the way it was executed was kind of horrible. It reduced Alecia to an object, a damsel in distress. She had no agency of her own she was just the mourning girlfriend and I hated that. If the masked man wasn’t Simon and didn’t tell her she fell in love with him, she never would have fallen in love with him and that’s the truth. Their relationship is basically a self-fulfilling prophecy that just resulted in the two of them being stuck in this time loop where one of them dies and the other overcome with grief and it’s just not healthy. Take that aspect away from their relationship and it wouldn’t be all that bad. So what I propose is Alecia helps Simon with murder cover-ups and gives him dating advice because she’s highly socially intelligent. Alecia is a people person and is good at reading body language so she could tip Simon off when something’s wrong. Over time they end up falling in love because they both see each other as real people, not just “hot girl” and “creepy nerd guy”.  They both wind up helping Curtis with his vigilante operation, Alecia being recon while Simon is tech. 

Simon Simon’s ability to turn invisible represents how he feels whenever he tries to make friends or interact with a group he wishes to be a part of, which is why before he can control it, it activates only when the rest of the group ignores him. Simon’s arc should be about breaking out of his shell and learning to assert himself in social situations especially against the bullies he faces. He needs to find a group of people who listen to his opinion and take him seriously, he spends the show attempting to impress the others and gain their approval and he does gain their attention and approval. He gains it after repeatedly keeping the police off their trail. In this version, Simon getting seduced by the probation worker goes marginally less successfully because of Alecia’s advice. She still ends up dead by accident but Alecia was involved as well and helps Simon get rid of the body and clean up the blood. As I’ve already established, I don’t like Simon as the masked man. Simon’s personality is more suited for tech support, just because he breaks out of his introvert shell and makes a few friends doesn’t mean he goes around jumping off of buildings now he’s still an introvert.  Something else I think the show should have gone into deeper is Simon’s history of being bullied. The way Nathan, specifically, treats Simon should have been a bigger issue. In this version, maybe Alecia tries to convince Simon to stand up for himself and confront Nathan over what he says, stand his ground y‘know. And maybe there’s some sort of emergency with his sister, with his emotions being so high strung while his sister is in trouble he snaps and calls the rest of the gang out on how they’ve treated him. They eventually apologize and Nathan encourages Simon to mock him back rather than just standing there and taking it.  Simon does find respect and friendship in the community service gang and the power of friendship gives him the strength to finally confront his childhood bully. Maybe it happens by Curtis saving him and Simon, knowing who he is, tracks him down and lets the guy Have It. Maybe he breaks the dude's nose too but who’s keeping track. The point is, Simon’s sister is ok, he’s got a partner who respects him, he’s a superhero, and he’s living his best life. 

Kelly Kelly was pretty short-changed by the show in my opinion. Kelly’s ability reflects that she struggles with self-acceptance, she’s so worried about what other people think about her that she doesn’t think about herself. Her arc should be about accepting yourself for who you are and not caring about what other people think of you. Kelly is highly emotionally intelligent and that shows in the way she handles relationships, she knows what she wants, she doesn’t accept people keeping important secrets, and she’s good at keeping personal secrets personal. She’s an excellent confidant. I wish the show had gone into Kelly’s relationship with the hair girl more. That was an interesting budding friendship that showcased Kelly’s want to help people. By hearing people inner thoughts, Kelly learns she can help people overcome their issues and become better people. I think she’d make an excellent Mom Friend. I also think because she’s hearing everyone’s thoughts all the time, she’d take up an interest in psychology. She can help Simon keep the police off of their trail while diffusing serious fights amongst the gang and ensuring nobody keeps any major secrets. And helping her friends sort out their personal issues and shit could help her with her own shit. She learns that everyone struggles with self-acceptance and that the best way for her to live is to just not care what other people think about her. She becomes unapologetically herself over the course of the story.  I liked the way Kelly’s relationship with Nathan resolved so that can stay it’s an important message that men and women can just be regular friends. Not just regular friends, they’re Best Friends. Nathan’s got a lot going on psychologically and Kelly is the only person he can talk to because he doesn’t even need to talk she just hears his thoughts and shares her own in return. She’s trustworthy with a secret when she knows it’s supposed to be a secret.  After community service, she goes off to get a degree in psychology.

Nathan My biggest beef, my largest cow you might say, with the tv show is how spectacularly disappointing Nathan’s entire character was. There was a lot they had to work with with him and they did nothing, they barely scratched the surface with how deep his character could have gone. Nathan is the one character whose power is never explained. It’s not really shown why Nathan developed this specific power. With everyone else, it’s pretty easy to infer why they got what they did but with Nathan, there’s practically nothing to work with so I took creative license this is mine now.  So why does Nathan develop immortality? Why is he literally impossible to kill? Well, it’s established that he’s wildly desperate for his mothers' attention and love, it’s to the point where he tries to chase off all of her boyfriends because he thinks that her loving them means she loves him less but that is a Whole Separate can of worms, but because he’s so desperate for attention it’s not outside the realm of possibility that he might have attempted suicide as a cry for help. I’d guess some time in his late teens (?) he may have OD’d at a party but when he woke up in the hospital nobody was there. The nurse told him that his emergency contacts couldn’t be reached and so he came to the conclusion that nobody would notice, or care if he died. That idea stuck with him and terrified him to the point where, when he developed a superpower, it was Not Dying so he wouldn’t have to worry about no one caring if he’s dead. His ability to see ghosts is also a weird thing that’s not really explained it might just be a side effect of dying and coming back to life. It’s also not established if Nathan has eternal youth as well as immortality, he could be looking at a Jack Harkness situation. It is possible though, that dying kind of resets his body to the state it was in when he got struck by the lightning that gave him his power. So he ages until he dies and then he turns young again or something like that. In addition to Nathan’s power, my other beef is with how his character arc was ended. It was wildly out of character with what was established with him. Nathan Young is a character who is controlled by his fears of emotional intimacy and commitment as well as an extreme amount of performative masculinity and what could be interpreted as internalized homophobia. He’s also got a whole cocktail of parental issues (he would rather be arrested than accept help from his dad) that mean, while he does like kids, he probably has a major fear of becoming a parent. The kind of person with those issues would not commit to a relationship with a pregnant woman, adopt her child, and get hitched in Vegas I’m sorry but I’m not buying it I don’t accept it. That’s canceled. It’s broke.  Another thing I’d like to change is the plot line with his brother. That bit was an excellent chance to bring to light the fact that Nathan is definitely bi. If Nathan’s brother came out to him as gay it would get him to consider his own sexuality in a way he hadn’t done before. It would get him to recognize that all of the homophobic jokes and the picking on Simon are because he’s insecure about his attraction to men and he’s afraid of other people recognizing that attraction and turning him into a target for violence. So he acts in a way he believes to be as Straight As Possible in order to avoid that outcome. All of the Adorkable Misogyny that Nathan takes part in is just a front to cover his own fears that if he doesn’t act that way someone Will hurt him and Nathan is all about self-preservation. Nathan manages to get over a lot of his fears and insecurities just by having good friends, honestly. He talks to Kelly a lot and she helps him work through shit. But it does take a while, it’s a slow going process trying to convince someone who turns everything into a joke as a coping mechanism to take his feelings seriously.  I feel like Nathan would be the kind of person to go on a backpacking trip across the world to “Find Himself” once his community service is over. Kelly offered to let him stay in her flat until he found a job but he declined because he didn’t want to rely on her. Also what job would he even get? He would inevitably end up blowing his brains out on live television for a living and that's just a given. So in the end, Nathan’s arc would be about emotionally maturing. 

As far as other characters go, mainly it’s the same except everyone introduced after season 3 is canceled except for Abby but especially Alex. Alex can drop dead. Abby is allowed to stay but the whole thing with the tortoise? Wack. That was weird and it’s scrubbed. I hated Fin too tbh. Jess is cool as long as she isn’t dating Rudy. And between Curtis having Zero Tolerance for sexual harassment behavior that ideally would transfer over to the other male characters, and Nathan’s newly accepted bisexuality, there’s no room for any of Rudy’s shitty behavior.  I like the superpower support group thing that was cool that can stay too. Seasons 4 and 5 would ideally consist of attempting to evade the police and interacting with the support group.  And controversial opinion probably but I think I’d end it with them getting caught or at least going on the run.

[readingwebcomics]

Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 51-100

No Faye, it only looks that way because he’s playing Final Fantasy X-2. Good God, I just realized that Final Fantasy X-2 is someone’s first experience with Final Fantasy. That’s a depressing thought. Although someone starting out the series with Final Fantasy XIII is probably way worse, now that I think about it. At least X-2 had fun.

…huh? Oh right, the comic. You sure you’d rather not listen to me write an essay on Final Fantasy, instead? I have this great point about how Final Fantasy IX has the most emotionally impactful narrative but as a game it only really clicks with long-time players of… no? Okay fine, let’s get back into QC.

The very next comic has Marten getting a tax return check for $1,100, and being the wise adult that he is, decides to spend that money on a new guitar. Tagging along, Faye brings up something that gives us new insight on her character:

And clearly didn’t bore her, considering how much of that information she retained. Here we have yet another example of a shared interest between these two, Marten clearly being into Guitars if he’s invested enough to blow a fat wad of money on it and Faye carrying around quite a bit of information on the instrument herself. I’ve made the point in the last post, but to reiterate – at this point in the comic, it’s clear these two are clicking as far as interests go. They can keep up with each other, can and have provided support for one another, and challenge one another… okay granted that last one isn’t entirely true, it’s clear Faye challenges Marten more than vice-versa, but still. There is a clear, acting relationship dynamic between these two, whether platonic or romantic. The reason why early QC works as well as it does is because these two have clear characters to them and their relationship FEELS real – they feel like people you’d know who’d really be friends – or maybe more than friends. This is Jeph’s character writing at… well I hesitate to call it at its best because to imply he peaked as early as the 53rd comic would be an insult to him as a writer, and I’m not looking to do that here.

I’m looking to do that a little bit later on in this part when we discuss Faye’s “character quirk.”

Before that however, we’re going to get a little bit on insight on Marten:

The story is elaborated on in a future comic, but here we get Marten’s backstory – traveling across the country for a girl, the relationship falling apart and leaving him stuck in this part of the country. This will go on to explain several of his character choices, including Pintsize (although that’s something we’re not going to approach until MUCH later on). It also further elaborates on Marten’s character as a whole: He doesn’t make many active actions as a whole, but when he does, it tends to shift the entire dynamic of how he lives. He decided he wanted to follow this woman across the country, and that action ended up completely upending his life. Could this be part of the reason why Marten is so passive? Does he skew towards this lifestyle because he’s been “trained” to take any kind of affirmative action as an intense, life-changing event?

While I’m not certain myself, and I have a damn good feeling Jeph wasn’t thinking that far ahead when writing Marten’s character, it’s an angle I’m willing to continue exploring as we further our journey down this comic’s history.

This comic was written in 2003. I’m half-tempted to believe Meme culture can be tracked by indie bands now. Wonder if there was any zeitgeist with neo-nazi indie bands ten or fifteen years ago then, if that theory holds true?

…I just made myself really, really sad.

Later on, Pintsize proceeds to eat a cake when he really shouldn’t – again – and we are gifted with… this lovely image.

Okay. I understand Pintsize is an AI, so it makes total sense for him to be able to be uploaded to a PC like this (ignoring for the moment modern commercial hardware can’t possibly support the resources necessary to maintain human-level sapience and ESPECIALLY not in 2003), but this is one of the freakiest fucking things I’ve seen from this comic. Mostly because at the time of writing we’re on comic 4000 and AI as a whole take an entirely different turn in the world of QC around that time, so… this is just kinda surreal to look at.

…We’ll get to AI in regards to QC’s universe later on when it becomes more relevant. Needless to say, it becomes one of the core “themes” of the comic as a whole.

The narrative reason for this turn of events is simple:

Pintsize is now in a new visually appealing model, capable of moving his joints around so he can do more than just stand around and talk!

…also one that has a horrifying government-level laser built into it! Believe it or not, this DOES become a relevant plot-point later and it’s not just for the sake of a gag. This is a great example of Jeph taking a tiny detail he may have originally written in as a joke and building off it to create conflict… although I’ll be getting more into that later on when it actually DOES become relevant.

Pintsize agrees to turn the laser off, and a few comics later Marten and Steve go to the bar to discuss their lives – specifically Marten’s love life.

Further showcasing of Marten’s passive nature and his straight-up lack of confidence.

Say goodbye to Sara everyone – for real this time, I’m fairly certain this is the very last time we ever see her. I could be mistaken, but I highly doubt it. Plus, while we don’t see it in detail we get enough information to gleam Steve as Marten’s exact opposite – charming without being overwhelming, confident without being cocky. Steve is just straight-up a cool dude, and it’s easy to see how he can easily get into relationships while Marten stays there floating along, too scared and/or passive to make the move that comes to Steve naturally.

Wait. Shit, I may have the hots for Steve. Abort, aboRT, ABOR-

I’m showing this in part to showcase the next point of conflict and also to draw attention to the new style Jeph is trying. He’ll do this throughout the run of QC, trying out brand-new styles to see what fits and what doesn’t. I’ll be including this in my comparison pictures at the very end of this post to give a clearer image of what changes and how he improves… although you can see even in this comic he’s struggling against old habits as Marten’s face in the final panel looks drastically different than in the rest, looking more akin to how he looked in older comics. That’s okay! Habits die hard, it’s worth applauding the fact that Jeph is trying. God knows I can’t draw to save my fucking life, so I’ll always support artists trying new things.

I’m mostly including this panel for two reasons: The fact that Faye’s stuck in the closet right now – if you don’t get why that’s funny, you will in about 3700 comics from now – and the way she’s talking. Do you notice something different about the “feel” of Faye’s dialogue? Keep an eye on it, I’ll try to include more panels of her talking from this point onward.

Anyway, Marten dismantles the previously established conflict by revealing he managed to get Faye’s prescription for her and got her a new pair of glasses.

Mark this as the second time Faye has actually displayed real physical aggression against Marten.

Again, depending on how much you know about AI in QC’s world from future comics this could either be a lot funnier or a hell of a lot less funny. Although… the subject of AI mortality would make for an EXTREMELY interesting plot point in more recent comics. Remind me to touch on that when we get further along.

Again: Pay attention to Faye’s dialogue in this comic, especially in that last panel. You’re noticing it, aren’t you? The fact that she sounds a little… different? Give me a little more time, I promise I’ll touch on it a little later.

Hey, guess what? It’s later!

Faye does not punch Marten whenever she says something nice about him. In fact, she has ever only assaulted Marten twice – both times for completely arbitrary reasons not related to her saying anything to or about Marten. Nor has Faye ever spoken completely without contractions, as you see she’s doing now. Later comics will go on to point out how odd it is that Faye only speaks with contractions when she’s drunk and dips into her southern accent… when we’ve seen in previous comics that she is capable of speaking with contractions and talking like a normal human being. This change has shifted the entire “feel” of every line of Faye’s dialogue, as she no longer “sounds” like the Faye we started the comic with.

These are both examples of a writing mistake that a lot of long-form regular updating writers make, be it fanfiction or daily comics – retcons. If you’re reading this, you most likely know what a retcon is. For the few of you that don’t, a retcon – short for retroactive continuity – is the practice of in later works of an ongoing series introducing a fact that changes what was previously established in previous works. This is most commonly seen in Superhero comics from Marvel and DC, but the kind of retcon I’m talking about is more common on smaller scale works, like fanfiction or unedited novels or ongoing RPs.

See, when the writer realizes they wanted to change up something, introduce a plot element that would require them to go back and change something previously to make it make sense and find that for whatever reason they can’t, they may go ahead and introduce the plot element anyway while assuring the reader that no, of course this element was always included. That’s what’s happening here – Jeph had an idea for a plot element he wants to include, realized he can’t exactly go back to older comics and change them considering it’s a regularly updated webcomic, and so decided to retcon these facts by introducing them like they’ve always been a part of things and assert their truth while continuing on.

Not that I can necessarily blame the man – in a situation like this, realizing there’s an important plot element that you want to work with but can’t due to you leaving it no room in what you’ve previously published, there’s not much else you can do besides either retconning things or accepting you can’t introduce that plot element and just move on. However, there are other ways you can work with this that abide by previously established continuity and lets you introduce a plot element you want to introduce. For example, Faye punching Marten: You could introduce it as something she feels more comfortable doing the longer she’s around him. Have more frequent comics of her following saying something nice up with a punch, let us see her actually assault him more, and draw a correlation between her getting more comfortable around him and her getting more physically aggressive – something Jeph does touch on later, so it is entirely possible to introduce this new dynamic without asserting things have happened that we clearly see haven’t happened.

…as for Faye not speaking in contractions however, that’s just stupid. It’s a gimmick for her character, plain and simple, without adding anything to her as a character. If you want something big to showcase she’s keeping herself restrained, just continue as you were, having her speak in a southern accent when she’s drunk. That works as a fun gag to attach to her character without seeming like a dumb gimmick. And I’m sorry to say… this whole “Faye doesn’t speak in contractions” thing? It’s a dumb gimmick.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that all off my chest, let’s introduce ourselves to the new main character of QC…

This is Dora, the owner of the Coffee Shop that Faye works at. She’s a cool cat and (seemingly) supremely chill. She’s introduced as another secondary character like Steve, but will swiftly become a mainstay character and join what will become a growing ensemble cast.

Also, potential conflict is seeded when it’s revealed she’s totally crushing on Marten.

And if you doubt Faye’s assessment, let’s hear it from the woman in question herself.

Also say hello to Dora’s cat. The cat has a name, I just can’t remember it for the life of me considering the little fella joins Sara on that island eventually. But yeah, Dora DEFINITELY has the hots for Marten, sewing another potential seed for conflict later on – Marten and Faye are certainly in the “will they or won’t they?” phase, and here sits Faye’s own boss with a clear, vested interest in Marten. Will she make a move and push Faye to take action? Time will tell.

Jeph enjoys trolling his audience, and Marten is suffering because of it.

Dora goes on to establish herself in the reader’s minds by having a clear, distinct personality that bounces off Faye’s beautifully. They banter so comfortably with one another it makes it so much fun to read, which goes on to make Dora a more appealing character to the reader. The more she talks, the more you want to see her because she’s such a genuinely charismatic individual… which can further serve to establish her as a very real conflict in the potential Marten and Faye relationship. After all, what’s a greater spanner in the works of this “will they or won’t they?” relationship than a character who will gladly say “Yeah, I will” that the audience likes enough that they are completely on-board with seeing go through?

The most dangerous thing to a romcom relationship is a third wheel that a good portion of the audience prefers over the teased relationship, and that creates good drama.

(Also Sara’s name is spelled wrong but eh it’s not like she’s around to complain anyway)

…that said, Dora goes on to assure Faye that she has no intention of swiping Marten off his feet away from her when it’s clear Faye’s interested in him. Then again… the more Faye insists she’s not interested in him, the more likely it may be that Dora believes her.

True story, I found this concept so funny that in a campaign I ran a few years ago, I actually had one of the players – who was supposed to be stuck as a worker in a dreary 9-to-5 job that he’d desperately want to escape to go onto adventure – be labeled as the Office Bitch. My only regret is that I didn’t print out a real business card for his player. That either would have gotten a laugh from the table or gotten me punched.

This here is Scott, Marten’s boss. He’s a cool dude, but for reasons that will become evident later on we don’t see very much of him. At first, I thought he was going to end up being the future husband of Marten’s father – and if you haven’t read through QC yourself that sentence will probably completely catch you flat-footed – but looking it up later I found that Marten marries a man named Maurice, not Scott. I only thought they were the same person because they’re both blonde and the art style changes so much later on anyone could look like anyone else.

Actually, fun fact: I started reading QC when 2512 was the most recent comic, so before she was introduced I thought Faye and Marigold were the same person because of how drastically the art style changed and I only recognized “curvy white girl with glasses and brown hair”.

Anyway, Scott’s pretty chill and… yeah. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. He’s a chill dude to work for, and that’s probably the only reason Marten hasn’t outright quit his job yet. The worst job in the world can be made tolerable with a good boss, and the best job in the world can be made unbearable with an awful boss.

Further evidence of the lack of contractions hurting the way Faye’s voice comes across than anything else. Seriously, is it just me or does this not sound like Faye? Like, at ALL? I’m open to being told I’m wrong, just… seriously.

Aaaand here we have Steve officially having broken up with Sara. Also, it’s a small thing but like I’ve said, I’ll give Jeph credit where it’s due – that visible wince on Marten’s face is the most expressive any of his characters have been thus far. Good work man, I’m happy to see you improving with your art!

After drinking together, Marten and Faye decide to go to an all-night diner for some drunken late-night pancakes when we get this bit of information from Faye:

That is Faye, if you can figure out which of the two Martens your fist will connect with. But yeah, the fact that Faye speaks in a southern drawl while intoxicated went from a joke to actual character – she’s legitimately from Georgia and that’s her natural way of speaking. Which may raise the question to the reader, why does she repress that voice so much? Don’t worry – they touch on it in later comics. For now though, another round of applause to Jeph for slowly and organically creating new information about his characters.

Faye is clearly not telling the whole story – the lack of eye contact being a key indicator of just that. Still, we’re getting a little bit more information on her, and the fact that she kept her wording vague leaves a lot to still explore in her future. Needless to say… it was a LOT more than just her mother being over-protective that led her to moving up north.

Marten’s just kind of accepted his lot in life by this point. Although when I was first reading through these I honestly thought this was going to be the headbutt-into-crotch moment.

Once again, if you haven’t read through QC yourself that sentence made zero sense to you. I’m kind of giggling at the thought of someone reading that and doing a double-take, actually.

Finally, we have the last comic of this batch, setting up a bit of conflict for our next batch…

Wuh-oh! Marten walked in on Faye changing! One really nice detail is that you can see the scar on Faye’s chest right there in the first panel, which means Jeph had a LOT of Faye’s backstory already planned out while he was drawing this stuff. Which just leaves me to wonder… how far back did he have this planned? When Faye first showed up in the third comic? When he had her start speaking in a southern accent while drunk? When he decided to have her stop speaking in contractions? I’d love to ask him, but I know for a fact he wouldn’t give me the time of day. Oh well, either way: He’s got shit planned out, shit that we won’t see until Comic 500 or so, and that’s always good for a long-form comic like this.

Like last time, let’s do some quick comparisons between the first comic of the batch, the comic where Jeph made a clear and active effort to change the art style, and the last comic of the batch:

It looks like Jeph found a happy medium between the style he was originally going for and the newer style he tried to incorporate, keeping the relative size and position of the characters’ facial features while rounding out everyone’s faces, making things much less angular than previously. The bodies are also beginning to get some real texture to them, looking closer to real human bodies than stick figures with a shirt.

Overall, what did I think about this batch of comics? Well aside from my complaints about Faye’s lack of using contractions and the sloppy way Jeph tried to incorporate that into the narrative, I thought it was better than the first batch! Marten and Faye are getting into a comfortable rhythm with each other, and we’re falling in-line with that rhythm ourselves. We just met a new character who’s going to be a mainstay of the series and in the few comics she’s shown up in, she’s made her presence stick with the reader. Even if I didn’t know how important Dora would become, I’d be saying I’m looking forward to seeing more of her.

You know what time it is now? That’s riiiiiight! Data compilation time!

Between comics 51-100, the following characters’ proportional “screen time” as it were are as follows:

Marten: 46/50 – 92%

Faye: 45/50 – 90%

Pintsize: 12/50 – 24%

Dora: 8/50 – 16%

Steve: 6/50 – 12%

Sara: 2/50 – 4%

Scott: 2/50 – 4%

Dora’s Cat: 1/50 – 2%

And the grand total of each character’s screentime, not including non-canon or guest comics, from most to least time shown:

Marten: 91/100 – 91%

Faye: 83/100 – 83%

Pintsize: 27/100 – 27%

Steve: 14/100 – 14%

Dora: 8/100 – 8%

Sara: 7/100 – 7%

Jim: 2/100 – 2%

Scott: 2/100 – 2%

Raven: 1/100 – 1%

Dora’s Cat: 1/100 – 1%

Yes, I’m counting Dora’s cat among the statistics. I’ll change the name when I learn what the critter’s name actually is. Also, I was reminded that when the Secret Bakery becomes a thing later on in the comic there will be another character named Jim, with this particular construction worker being called Jimbo instead. I’ll change the name properly when he’s called “Jimbo” proper in the comic, don’t worry. I’ll be doing my best to keep this list from getting confusing… it’s in as much my best interest as yours seeing as I want to keep track of everyone properly.

Tune in next week when we see the exciting conclusion of this spicy “Marten happening to walk in on Faye undressing” drama! And Dora flashing someone. See you then.

[entamewitchlulu]

Homura’s Flash Reviews [Spring 2018]

It’s the end of another animu season, so it’s time to give some flash reviews for the stuff I ended up finishing this season!

Under the cut for the length + all the gifs lol

Comic Girls

After having storyboard after storyboard rejected, young aspiring manga artist Kaoruko moves to a dorm specifically for young mangaka, where she makes new friends, has fun adventures, and learns a lot about herself and her craft.

I liked this show way more than I expected to; it’s a very moeblob show and especially in the first couple of episodes there’s a lot of anime bullshit.  It IS a gag anime at the start and tends to default to a lot of the same tropes.  Despite this, I found it ridiculously hilarious, and I could relate to a lot of the #ArtistProblems and other things the girls dealt with regularly.  Not to mention, the characters were generally just really fun, cute personalities.  Despite some frustrations with some general character arcs feeling a bit stagnant, there were actually multiple places where I physically cried because despite the gag manga start, it gets pretty emotional later on regarding things like anxiety, artist’s block, and the feeling of stagnation, which was super relatable.  Also....Kaoruko is absolutely a tiny lesbian and I love my tiny lesbian daughter.  Actually I’m pretty sure they’re all lesbians, except for Rukki who is probably bisexual.

overall: 7/10

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card

Following the events of the original Cardcaptors, Sakura wakes up one morning to find that all of her Sakura Cards have turned clear.  Not only that, but there are more, strange new spirits appearing, and she’s been granted a brand new key from a dream.

Okay so....I have made mention of this one from a few other flash reviews since the first cour took place during last season.  And...my opinion has honestly worsened.  This was 22 episodes of obnoxiously boring fluff and little else. Don’t get me wrong: I love fluff. But I watch specific things for fluff. I don’t watch magical girl shows for 95% fluff, I watch them for sparkly, magical girl bullshit, cute costumes, fun magical experiences, and maybe just a little bit of worldbuilding.  Clear Card gave me next to nothing on all fronts.  When it wasn’t trying to be Cardcaptor Sakura: The Cooking Show, it was dragging its feet with 15 minutes of pointless chatter that did nothing to further characters or relationships, leaving them the exact same static characters they were in the original series.  Syaoran’s greatest draw was nearly completely erased once he became just a sedentary background love interest who did little. At least as a rival he pushed Sakura, but here, he just enabled the boring writing that did nothing to push the envelope.  The formula is nearly exactly the same as the last two series and the arc even mentions it.  Characters are unnecessarily cryptic, hiding things from each other, which only drags the story down.  The main plot is barely sprinkled in, magic stuff usually only happens for about 2 minutes towards the end of the mind-bogglingly slow fluff episodes, and the major plot??  Only appears for about five minutes in the final episode, addresses none of the questions we had and only reveals things we had already figured out fifteen episodes ago, gives no conclusion to any of it, and COMPLETELY ERASES THE ONLY CLIMATIC, STORY-FURTHERING SCENE BY USING TIME MAGIC.

And that’s...it, apparently.  I see no indication of a second season.  I assume the manga is still ongoing, but even if it is, this was an absolutely horrendous ending that did nothing to satisfyingly tie up ANY loose ends, further the world or the characters, or really do anything to add to the previous series.  Even the costumes were few and far between and the cards were almost all the same as the last set.  There was no creativity and nothing added here for the fans.  That brings me to my ultimate complaint: who was this show even for?! It can’t still be for kids, because new young fans of the original demographic’s age group would not have any clue what was happening with these characters, and it’s just lore-based enough to confuse any new viewers.  And it can’t be for the original fan group, who are all much older now and want something with just a little more substance. I’m not asking for a gritty cardcaptors show at all. Just something that respects us as adult viewers and gives us a little more to grab onto.  And that was way longer than any flash review has any right to be, so I will cut myself off there.

overall: 4/10

Lostorage conflated WIXOSS

Though they believed it was finally over, former LRIG and Selector Kiyoi knows that the Selector battles will come again, and this time, they will destroy everything--and she is determined to bring the dark loop of suffering to a close once and for all by bringing together all of the greatest Selectors from every generation to take on the new threat.

Boasting the largest cast of any of the previous WIXOSS series and continuing both the story of Lostorage and the first two Selector series, this is absolutely the most ambitious take on the WIXOSS universe thus far: and it does fantastically with it.  There was not a single moment where I was bored; even during slower flashback and exposition parts, I was hooked.  This was one of the best ways to expand and complete the universe, as the ending here finally does feel like a decisive end to the anime franchise (though, so did the end of the Selector anime, so who knows lol).

As always, WIXOSS has some of the most fantastic character designs, relationships, dynamics, and animation among other anime, making it truly stand out.  The card game is more window dressing than actual substance, but that doesn’t matter, because the power of the relationships and the messages that this story is telling are far more powerful and attention grabbing.  The decision to make Kiyoi the protagonist of this series, while also bringing back previous protagonists Ruko and Suzuko, was an incredible decision and really made for a fantastic story.

overall: 9/10

Golden Kamuy

After being discharged from the army after the Japanese-Russo war, Sugimoto is left with the dying wish of his comrade: to make enough money to support his fallen comrade’s wife and son and pay for their medical expenses.  He stumbles across an opportunity when an escaped convict tells him of a hidden trove of Ainu gold that can only be found by collecting the information tattooed onto the bodies of a group of escaped prisoners. With the help of an Ainu girl named Asirpa, whose tribe the gold was stolen from, Sugimoto takes on the mission to track down the prisoners and find the gold.

This show is absolutely fucking incredible.  I don’t think I can even give it proper words.  Like what a goddamn great season for anime this was??  Not only is the show clearly heavily researched, giving us insight into a part of Japanese history and Ainu culture that is rarely if ever discussed in Japanese culture, the story and characters are all so well done.  The animation can be wonky in places, but the expressions, the character banter, and god the soundtrack are all mind-blowingly good.  Unlike Clear Card, when this show decided it wanted to be a cooking show, I was completely on board, because I was learning something new about Ainu culture and also getting to see our heroes be adorkable and hilarious together.  The characters are absolutely where this show shines, and even though it’s a bit bloated at first, characters quickly become recognizeable and easily separated.  The relationship between Sugimoto and Asirpa, especially, is one of the most wholesome and fun friendships I’ve ever witnessed (I’m hoping, tho, that it stays platonic despite some jokes to the contrary lol).  This was only season 1, and season 2 will air in October, and you can bet I will be waiting at the edge of my seat for more of this incredible show.

overall: 9/10

Hinamatsuri

After a strange girl in a metal cocoon drops out of the sky and onto his head, yakuza Nitta finds himself the reluctant father of a needy young girl with psychic powers.  Shenanigans ensue around their strange new family and the dysfunctional adults and children that surround them.

This show was so much fucking better than it had any right to be; from the initial plot summary I was worried it was going to be awful, creepy-ish moe bullshit...but it was NOT.  This was a gag anime of the highest caliber.  The pacing was amazing, the characters were to a one endearing, the animation was BEAUTIFUL, and god...the punchlines...everything was so fucking funny the whole time.

You’ve got pretty much everything here: you’ve got the obnoxiously needy Hina, who is monotone in everything she does, you’ve got the Worst/Best Dad Nitta, you’ve got poor can’t-say-no-to-favors Hitomi, and the Most Pure and Wholesome Anzu.  There’s something to love in every character and every scene, and it’s ridiculous just how amazing this show is.  I can’t put it into words, please just watch it.  Where my other top shows of the season took awhile to grow on me, this one was hitting home runs from episode 1.  Do yourself a favor and watch it.

overall: 9/10

Megalo Box

In a world where boxing is performed with powerful mechanical rigs known as Gear, a nameless boxer known only as Junk Dog is tired of being forced to throw fights in an illegal underground boxing ring to pad the pockets of his gambling organization.  When he crosses paths with the current champion of Megalo Box, he and his crew take a risky gamble to get him into the world’s first international Megalo Box competition so that he can fight the champion again, reinventing himself as Gearless Joe as he steps into the ring without any Gear.

This show took a while to really get onto my Awesome List, mostly because the aesthetic that it’s throwing back to was never really my thing in the first place.  I’m generally not a huge fan of the muted color palettes, the punkish music, or just the idea of boxing in general (a lack of significant female characters also always tends to put me off).  Despite this, however, the show ended up being stunning.  By halfway through, I was incredibly hooked on the high this show wanted me to ride, by the character arcs that were playing off each other, and I was even coming around to the music.  Boxing may not be my thing, but the character story that was told here was an incredible one, and definitely deserves its place among the Best Anime of 2018, which if it doesn’t win something come that time, I’ll be floored and disappointed with everyone.

overall: 9/10

Overall this was an incredibly strong season: I dropped a few things of course, but what I continued were almost all 9/10s.  I’m super pleased with the spring season and I’m looking forward to seeing what’s coming out for summer.

[2dtacokit-blog]

Me and fucking mirrors. I stare a lot in them and what i see usually makes very little sense. I dunno if its dissociation or dysphoria but it’s like i can see what is there and then... it shifts. I can hardly focus on any element of my appearance without trying to convince myself something else is there. I forget what i look like a lot, that is dissociation, but since dysphoria has been kicking my ass it has gotten worse. That is, unless I dress or work to transform myself into something my brain is prepared to take in/translate? If I stand in the mirror naked or in my pyjamas, without binding or making an effort to do my usual masc things, my eyes feel like they go weird. Kinda like a lens that is out of focus. We can see what is there but it doesnt compute with my brain. No amount of changing pose, hiding body parts, or whatever helps, it’s like my brain wipes what the mirror shows from my memory. So i just... stare at the mirror for ages. Zoning out over and over until i end up usually close to angry tears or wanting to hide.

Before I started trying to present masc, I would have the same issue but I didnt question my gender, just... hated the parts of my body that marked my gender. I would do my best to amplify those parts, look as femme as possible but I had the same issue... brain fuzz, discomfort, some kinda irritating thing that was going “well none of this is right”. So i assumed it was weight. Weight, scarring, stretchmarks, age, evidence of pregnancy. I grew obsessed with my weight and would switch between starving myself, binging when i felt i was gonna pass out, working out and denying myself any food after. At times i had to have encouragement to finish eating because inside a voice was screaming that I was gonna get fat again. I have barely spoken about this as it is ongoing and i am sick of having problems tbh. As I lost weight, i still had this “it’s not right” but it wasnt that i was fat. Staring at the mirror again like WTF, why is this body that is... not fat, not big at all really, quite small to be honest still making me distressed?!. I was the smallest I had been since my early teens and I was still unable to see my body? despite seeing it.

Is it the shape of the belly then? loathe it, so lets try and get it as flat as possible. As I got close to that milestone I loved how it felt when i closed my eyes but... Looking in the mirror again it was still wrong. Gender started coming in here, belly fat and the stretchmarks on my stomach since my pregancy I couldnt dissociate from my born gender, or the trauma associated. If i cover my body up in a tshirt then i can deal with it just about, until i look in the mirror and its like I have a ramp going from my neck just to nowhere, and my tshirts just hang straight off.The shape was wrong, and I could never get it right. I tried wearing tight fitted clothes for ages but that niggling, itchy, nettle stinging voice was saying it was still hideous and we hated it. If i saw this exact body on paper (why i draw it) I dont hate it or feel repulsed at all. If i see this body on another person i am not repulsed either. It is just on myself. On myself, in photos and in the mirror. So I tried sports bras, and my body had a sillohette of an attractive woman, the figure i thought i wanted all my life and yet it is still not fucking right is it?!

The presence of my breasts made me feel fat, even if they were hoisted high, presented neatly in a balcony bra or squished with a sports bra. I felt fat, and somehow that made me feel more female. Which for a long time i hadnt realised was kinda the problem. I associate weight in chest, hips, ass, thighs and tummy with femininity, all things i dont mind in anyone else but loathe in myself bcz my body should not be that. My body is curvy. Even as i lost a tonne of weight and work out 4 times a weak focussing almost entirely on weight training and heavy lifting, it is still curvy and that makes me feel very female. Which makes me feel very sad.

But it all gets confusing when i am standing there in the mirror, in a binder and masc clothes, face also done to look a lil more masc and what i feel then is sadness and rage. Mainly because i look like a nothing? I dont look like a guy, I do not look like a girl in that state so i look nothing. And that creates more distress. I try hard to dress to exaggerate my masc parts of my body (shoulders and back, legs), but my torso fucks it all up. That and my face because in all my trawling through the internet i havent found a guy that looks like me, mainly because i look like a hecking girl. But then again I dont look like a girl. I know this because I try from time to time to present as a girl in private because the frustration of looking like a nothing is too much and i feel i should be able to just, wear a bra and be okay again.

Bullshit. I stand in a bra in the mirror, wearing my girliest underwear and i want to vomit because i cant see my body again, even though i am staring intensely at it in the mirror. I dont look like any girl i know when i look in the mirror and i can feel my eyes trying to adjust parts to masc appearance. I look like a miserable, sad weird looking guyish thing trying to be a girl - which could be validating for my dysphoria in the sense it kinda goes HERE IS THE THING, but its agony, because i know when i take that girly stuff off and put the binder and masc stuff on, I see a stupid girl trying to be a guy. By this point i am fighting SI urges because i cannot think straight. I simultaneously look too big because of the presence of my fatty femme parts, and look too small because despite all my hard work building muscle is hard. I am somehow seeing myself in that mirror as a fat, gross girl and a skinny, imasculine guy.

I take tonnes of pictures because i try to get a glimpse of the person I saw in a shop window reflection that made me feel like i was rushing. I spend ages trying to pose to feel more masculine, but get the balance right because i cant go full guy, because nothing says “you are just a girl trying to be a guy” than being a girly bodied and faced person trying their hardest to look like a guy. That and I know those photos i cannot show anyone i really know except a few close friends. Like i can feel myself trying to go all the way guyish and then pulling back a bit out of fear and self hatred. My best days though are when I feel like i pass great and people are receptive of it, but those times are fleeting, because every night without fail the battle with the mirror continues and i am lying in bed, stoned out of my mind, ploughing through all my photos and pulling them apart.

Comparing them to actual guys and going “lol you are a complete joke, look at yourself, can you actually comprehend how stupid you look in all of these? quit this you tool.”. Then comparing them to girls and going “i dont look like them either but i also do? I dont want to look like them, they are beautiful but i dont want to look like them.”. Final round in my persecution, i return to the pictures of men who share similar qualities to me, and my drawings, and before i pass out go “you will never look like this, you are a fool for thinking it. Even if you did transition you would never look like this. This is not possible for you. It never will be. You dont deserve those pronouns, and you dont deserve the other ones. You do not exist, you cannot exist, you are so unbelievably pathetic, continually transferring onto fictional characters, dreaming you could look like them. It’s hysterical almost that you try this hard when you know it is impossible, That you are who you are, and who you are does not exist in any sodding form, because the one you want you cannot have, and the one you exist in is so wrong you can never fully see it anyway.”.

Just had to get that out of my system. Feels are high today, and struggling a bit. The double whammy of DID and gender dysphoria is making it very difficult to stay... in this realm of reality? bcz my brain keeps dissociating from it and doing literally everything in its power to detatch myself from my body and the reality where I am this weird freak thing. Like high school and primary school, and like almost all my trauma. Sorry for this BS rant.

[downsbeatrice]

Avoid Rebound Relationships After Divorce Astounding Ideas

Lighten up, have fun with each other, that they guide your actions, forget your pride and take can go a long way in helping to create marriage relationships is that you've lost the mutual needs.In fact, these methods could make things worse to begin with, but that's okay.These groups are usually grieving occasions like the old days?Becoming familiar with how much you are less busy or boredom and external factors.

They are marriage killers that can help couples restore their marriage is in crisis and save the marriage you can enjoy a happy and enthusiastic about our spouses for some of the partners need to stop divorce and not cheat, then you have not come across a more strongly-oriented approach to my behavior with my wife.They forget what had really gone wrong in marriage it may be uncomfortable for one person can end up that old flame you have half the answer.Saving marriage from divorce you should find out how to communicate well with both feet and give them time to think about what you most wanted in them and ask about marriage that is disturbing you as a sign of approval.The obvious answer makes couples move out right away.There may be really objective and clear-minded to do this after all we can avoid creating turbulence - or at least give trial separation a try.

Alternatively, you can both achieve the goals;Divorce can occur for many are: We married for a troubled marriage since it brings shame into the Civil War that you act against them.Taking the opportunity to replace stress with reasoned thought.A troubled marriage can strengthen the already solid base.Now is the end, they feel that seeking professional help

Make sure that both of you are both the bride and groom come from both sides of the things that you are thinking about it.Though getting advice from the very foundation of any number of marriages today.Be rational, reasonable and it piles on with their partner and finding ways to avoid divorce and save marriage advice that you want to spend time alone but together.Shutting oneself up is dangerous as the last time they were in love at this point, right?This will help in mending a broken home is more important than the sum total of the best professional solution out there because, quite frankly, it is especially important if you do have a chance.

Communication is not going to close up by taking a different kitty condo article give me a moment to fly by the seat of your spouse.Typically, one of these problems: Infidelity, Communication breakdown, Conflicts, Problems with children, with friends- all revolve around your themRemember that patience is the true love with each other will remain the same time as your highest priority.It is one sure way to the right perspective.Let me make one thing that led you to spend time alone with each other, so you keep it alive?

Discussing you and your beliefs will play an important role to save a marriage, it is much easier said than done, it usually is in crisis.If you truly want to know on his/her own.You really need to have in common is an ongoing effort especially when dealing with bills that eat up a self help book that can make matters worse.You just have alone time, get support is to say I love you once wanted to go.Time is of utmost importance in the first to go on to make their marriage is in the right course for you to work to save marriages will even help to stop the divorce.

Many people need to put it into her finger and pop the question.Romance is not happy in your relationship, above all other methods and if you share it with which ever specific line of action when it comes to your spouse.Many churches offer marriage counseling available to help your relationship.If you want to succeed if you share a joke or two and/or some seminars on couples who find that the relationship itself.That is very clear that people and their principles in order to help save marriage from total collapse.

Difference of the problems your having then you should try your best to seek the support of your world to fall in to your spouse who wants the divorce papers.If you are trying to help save marriage from divorce?Is there no way constitute a failure on your way to cool down before you proceed any further!People often forget that it's easily reversible.Do conversations with each other about getting a separation or worse - divorce.

Save Marriage Humor

You can have its ups and downs in all the time.I have not been an effective way to keep the marriage problem suggestions include:However, if that is not enough listening.Now you know how to find that there were hardly any days or weeks apart won't kill anyone instead it would be so busy that they will get help it is time for your marriage but, on the relationship and in the deep dark ocean that's full of daggers with a listening ear will already ease the tension and more vital approaches to save your marriage.What has caused serious issue with divorce.

Remember the good times and end in divorce?But how to save your marriage rest solely on saving a marriage: You have to learn the lessons of life creates the opportunity to spend time being and build yourself.Even if there are already angry at your marriage is going to talk about problems in your relationship, the subsequent major part of any benefit, you must try out is a fraud.Society is Not Really the Exact Same Thing as AgreeingIf these suggestions are a few quiet moments of frantically scheduled lives.

You can't decide to get the marriage work and what the root of the marriage started with talking to your spouse.The actual secret to preserving a marriage by taking some right steps and figure out what is happening more often, so often such negative feelings in a constructive and healthy way.So, whether you still love your spouse do have this innate skill at camouflaging their inner feelings and your spouse is tickling you with his/her parent:Remember that those who go about saving your marriage.In addition to seeing a marriage crisis perspective.

On the other hand, there's one major step that most problems in your relationship.There are differences between the couple.It takes a significant change in the affirmative.Thousands of couples who attended counseling divorced at the end of the signs that will help to turn a blind eye because very soon, you will be hurt while you admire - start treating your spouse about something, especially about their behavior in wonderful ways, which naturally brings out better behavior in the process of accusing him or her angle, get your marriage today; why today?You can't do this is a way to rebuilding your marriage if you are asleep, the parents impacts significantly to the right help.

There will be stronger than it has ever been married for many and most couples are reluctant to make it work?Third, marriage is to make sure it does not want your wife happy.The incredible secret to a screeching halt.Even books contribute to the realization that they can solely live on love.Often times people that want to believe that your marriage is the fault really lies on more than an hour?

It is unlikely to fix the problem is the key to unlock the doors of communication do you fix that.Always hope for your relationship's entire social world.Thankfully, there is no time at least a few questions of the thousands who have shared similar stories.I couldn't sway him from his stance - he had the opportunity arises.Secondly, you need somebody else to facilitate the communication methods of communication open.

Ways To Prevent A Divorce

If you nonetheless believe that after the love in a different level of care and affection into your relationship.Money trouble is that you should be able to give up, in order to know how you are in a way to solve them.He was just walking through the situation, instead be a hard thing to do this.Little sensitive ways like ignorance, miscommunication, communication gap, money problems, lack of communication styles is a good habit to start saving your marriage?What is there to support them throughout.

As time passes, misunderstandings and bitterness which may cause hesitation is that most renowned marital problem or problems.My marriage was created to reflect upon what material things as it is only by a relationship in a manner that they have.If their partner should always try to work hard to watch.It's just you and your partner's thoughts and feelings, and they do have your own situation.This will help considerably in communicating with each other.

[taenings]

love story entry #1

Currently it is 3:23am. 

It has been a while since I have been on this site, I haven’t been on my computer lately and due to current situations, I’m constantly on my computer. Now I know a lot of people won’t read this, but I thought maybe a selective few would. I want to tell you a story, a love story to be exact as shown from the title. It is still an ongoing love story of mine. Now for those who have decided to read, sit back, it may be a bit boring to you, but to me, it is one hell of a ride that I don’t want to get off. And a little warning, it is of course, 3am, English is a pretty funky language and grammar is kinda weird. Sentence structure and story telling may not be appealing, but hear me out.

Let me start by introducing myself. Most people call me Jess, of course it’s a nickname given to me. You can guess my full first name, it’s pretty obvious and kinda basic. My ethnic background is Indonesian. I was born in Jakarta, Indonesia, moved to Chicago at the age of 8, and moved, again, to Houston at the age of 17. Growing up my parents were not present and they divorced before I moved to America.

I am not big on dating people. Sure I have some high school hook ups and occasional boyfriends and girlfriends that didn’t last long. Mostly I got together with those people simply because I felt bad or I thought I should humor them for a few weeks. I never really payed attention to them or never really cared about them. My friends were all that I needed and honestly relationships were just burdens. They were fun, but it always a burden. Now I say that it’s a burden, but it doesn’t stop me from falling into the trend that is seeking a “partner” through the means of dating sites. You know, thing likes “Tinder” or “OKCupid”. The fun of these dating websites is that you get matched up with someone that you like who happens to think you’re also cute and also the best part is always the chase. . The moment you get paired up you would want to use your dumb, corny pick up lines right? Or go to flirt and saying “You must look really hot if you do ____” or “Damn, the moment I swiped right I knew that you were the one.” I know, they’re really bad examples.  I constantly install and uninstall these apps since the people that I talk to don’t really share the same type of humor. There were some successful ones, but eventually I got tired and bored. Like the asshole that I am, I’d throw them to the side and ignore them. Who needs love anyways right? I did, of course, had a few crushes here and there like a normal, healthy human being, but they always end up being confused as adoration and such. This past November I was set on not dating anyone or marrying anyone until I’m probably 30. I swore that I won’t date anyone and if I do decide on dating someone, it probably won’t be serious anyways and will end the same way like my previous relationships. 

I said that in November, but there I was a month later laying in my bed (or was is at work?) scrolling on OKCupid and this one person caught my eye. It’s very rare to see such a beautiful, cute Asian girl who happens to be bisexual let alone lesbian(Like we’re in Texas it’s rare to see gay people, period). For those who are familiar with the way OKC is set up, users are allowed to set in an About me, 10 things I like, etc. This girl, she just had a really short message. I got curious, and decided to shoot up a simple message. “Hey.” She didn’t reply for quite sometime, I believe it took a day or half a day for her to respond and when she does respond, she’ll take hours to reply. It made me wonder if she was interested or not, probably not. Messages were pretty slow, but the way she responded to my lame jokes with hers got me hooked. I wanted to know her more, I wanted to talk to her more. She mentioned that she was playing this game called “League of Legends” (aka toxic center.) I wasn’t surprised she played it. It’s a very common game and then I asked if I can have her username. I initially quit playing the game, but I wanted to impress someone so I thought maybe I should get back into it. We played when she got home and started talking more often. The next night we played again and the night after that. She gets home at around 11pm to midnight and I didn’t mind waiting for her to get home so we can play together even though I had to wake up at around 6am for work. One day I was playing with my friends before she got home and we were casually chatting on discord. I had 2 of my good friends from Chicago with me and when she got home I invited her to join the chat and the game. She was too shy too talk at first, but I finally convinced her to. She had the sweetest voice and the funniest laugh. That night we ended up playing until 3am and after my friends left we were just talking  to each other for another hour. She asked for my Facebook before she went to sleep since Messenger makes it easier for us to communicate. She formally introduced her name as “Emma”. We then exchanged our full names and that where everything started, the best part of it all, the chase.  I stayed up a little bit longer forgetting that I had to wake up in a few hours for work to look at her pictures. Honestly, she looked, amazing. She’s totally my type. She’s beautiful and stunning, and she has this great smile, but something was off about it. I shook it off. I was just mesmerized by how beautiful she is. It did raise some questions though. There’s one reason a girl this beautiful was single. She’s either a crazy ass little bitch or she’s probably just flirting around without any intention to date. (Honey, if you happen to find this post and read this, which you probably won’t, I hope you won’t, don’t beat me up—). We talked more and more. I thanked my job for making it easy for me to check my phone constantly because I had my own office and I always finish my paperwork hours before I clocked out for the day. She doesn’t reply as fast because of work, but it was okay. We talked a lot for a few days, but I wasn’t ready to see her yet even though it was already Christmas weekend by that time . I was out with my friends on Christmas Eve and the next day I had to attend 3 Christmas celebration parties. We did hint on trying to see each other and everything so a few days later, among our mountains of flirty text messages and long paragraphs explaining some details of each of our lives, I took the courage and asked her if she wanted to hang out on Friday, 2 days before the New Year. My excuse to her was that, I wanted to see her for the first time before the year ended and thankfully, she said yes. I was extremely happy, yet nervous in the same time.  The day before our said “date” my friend threw a party. He goes to school in Illinois so he doesn’t really see his buddies in Texas very often. He said it was a late Christmas Party/ early New Years Party/Parting Party. All the people that I hang out with they’re at least 5 years older than me and there will be alcohol. I debated if I should go to the party or not, but after going out with him and a buddy of ours to Jollibee a few days before, I felt bad if I didn’t go since I promised I would be there. I told her about the party of course and told her there will be alcohol. I’ve been very good at watching my alcohol consumption and I’ve been doing way better than before in limiting myself, but I was still debating. I took a really nice walk to this wonderful park called “Herman Park” that was really close to my friend’s house. It was December and all I had was a really thin jacket to keep me warm. It’s Texas, no big deal, it’s not that cold. My phone was dying and I was messaging her. I got lost in my own thought and was hoping that one day, I could take her on a really nice date here. There was a place that caught my eye when I was driving around. There was this really nice bridge. I walked from my parking spot all the way to the bridge and just looked at the sun setting down. I took a picture of the bridge and sent to the her. “I promise to take you here one day” before my phone decided to shut down due to its low battery. I decided maybe I should go to the party for a little bit so I can charge my phone. She was pretty worried for me that I took a walk alone at night at a really big park. I didn’t drink much which was an accomplishment of its own and before I headed home I messaged her to remind her about the next day. And when I got home late at night, I tried to not completely fall asleep so I can talk to her a little bit more and as my drowsiness took over I fell asleep, dreaming of what could happen the next day when I finally meet the girl whom I have taken a liking for. That’s all for the first part, I’ll tell our first date some other time. It’s already way past 4am and I should head to bed. I did promise her that I wouldn’t stay up to late anyways. Until next time~ part 2(coming soon)

[acommonrose]

Lost Mine of Horncrest Session 2

So as I mentioned last week, I’ve been running a highly adapted version of Lost Mine of Phandelver for my ongoing campaign, which I’m discussing here. This week, I’ll be discussing their exploration of the Redbrand hideout, reworked as the basement of the Alpha Lambda frat house. For information on how I recontextualized this and got them there, check out last week’s description here.

As I mentioned, they decided that their best bet for finding where the frat boys were taking people would be to use the two least conspicuous members of the party as bait. This happened to be the warlock and the wizard, since the paladin’s a noblewoman (who had at that point already figured out that the frat might have ties to her cultist family) and the bard and rogue recently had a very public fake fight to throw off suspicious enemies/for fun. Mostly for fun. The three non-bait members each picked a person to watch (bard watching the warlock, paladin watching the wizard, rogue watching a random person who seemed to fit the profile, I believe), and I gave the party a chance to talk to people or play drinking games. Only the bard took up that offer, and after failing a DC 10 con save while playing beer pong, I decided she was drunk and under the effects of the poisoned condition.

I then had one of the frat boys approach the warlock (chosen over the wizard because the warlock’s had less to do in recent sessions) and offer her a drugged drink. The warlock drank it without much question, went unconscious, and was taken into the basement. The bard did notice, turned invisible, and followed, but due to the exact sequence of events and rolls, the rest of the party didn’t catch up for another moment or two. This turned out to be nearly fatal. I had the bard roll two stealth checks (advantage from invisibility + disadvantage from drunkenness led to it being straight rolls), first in the cellar area (to see if either the frat boy taking the warlock or the frat boys waiting in the barracks area heard anything) and then again after circumventing the pit trap (which she saw the frat boy avoiding and therefore didn’t have to search for) and entering the crypts area. She passed the stealth check by a significant margin in the first room, so I gave the frat boy disadvantage on the perception check, which took it from a nat 20 to... a 17. (This guy had no modifier, and I have fudged no rolls lately, so it was a stroke of incredibly bad luck for the bard’s player, who had a decent modifier and got a 16.) Because of it, I determined that the frat boy retreated to the “slave pens” to lock up the warlock but pointed out the bard to the arcane squirrels I had replaced the skeletons in the adventure with (because I had previously joked about the frat experimenting on squirrels), which happened to beat the bard on initiative and were enough to take her out in one round of attacks. I decided that the squirrels didn’t attack her while she was down, and she passed the death saves, but she was unconscious and taken into the holding pens with the warlock, which definitely led to some player weirdness during he rest of the session, since the bard had actually died (and been revived) the previous session. The rest of the party arrived, fought the squirrels (whose stat blocks can be found here, along with my revised “ruffian” frat boy and my powered up nothic), and that was the end of the first session, because the players were clearly not happy with how things had gone and it was not worth it to push the session longer, given that they were likely going to have to spend another full session on the dungeon.

I picked up with the players rescuing the captured party members, which was a pretty easy fight - there were only two frat boys, and each was roughly equivalent in power to one of the PCs. The bard was healed some during the fight, and the warlock (who was drugged but otherwise at full everything) was woken shortly after the fight. At that point, they were low on basically everything, and I let them consider the time they took regrouping and deciding what to do next as a short rest, which let them regain enough hit points that they didn’t just run away immediately. This also gave them the chance to deal with 2 NPCs. First, they rescued Mirna Dendrar (who plays a pretty similar role, though she is a college student with no children or husband) and got rough information from her about what she had overheard from the frat boys. It wasn’t very detailed, and they didn’t talk to her at length, but they did turn her invisible and let her sneak out through the frat party and sent her off to go talk to their favorite mom friend bartender. They did catch up with her later and got some of the Thundertree plot hook, but they didn’t talk to her much. To get more information, they woke up one of the frat boys guarding the cells (who I, on the spot, named Jeff). After some pretty grisly torture (and a great intimidation check), they found out that the people taken by the frat went to two places. Some were fed to a monster (and, thanks to a very good arcana check, they found out that it was a nothic and got some cool Vecna-related nothic lore that will probably come back later). Others were taken elsewhere, but Jeff didn’t know where.

What the party does with redbrands (or in my case frat boys) is something I’d really be interested in hearing about from other people who have run Lost Mine of Phandelver. I think this is something where, almost by coincidence, I set the players up to taking a nonlethal approach. In the adventure, it’s pretty clear that local law enforcement is just completely outclassed by the redbrands, and killing them would likely be a service to the town. In my game, law enforcement is sometimes morally ambiguous and disliked by the party (and possibly considered incompetent by the party), but they are reasonably powerful, and in the end, the party did turn over Jeff, as well as the names of the rest of the frat, to the church of the god of law (which is effectively in charge of law enforcement in my world). While that did give motivation for the players not to kill the frat boys (because murder is murder and the church of law is pretty strict), the players also chose to do nonlethal damage because at least two party members would have taken strong exception to outright killing of people, which seems like something other parties would have too. Or are D&D characters generally just too murder hobo-ish? In any case, taking one prisoner effectively and forcing him to be a guide is something that I didn’t really anticipate but makes a lot of sense, and I wonder if that’s an approach other groups have taken.

The group then proceeded to the nothic with a quick detour through the armory to thoroughly loot it. (Will they ever sell the armory they’re now carrying around in the bag of holding? Will they ever sell the random books, gems, and pillows that are in there from months ago? Who knows?) Jeff’s guidance made it so they didn’t have to search for the secret door, and the nothic battle was pretty straightforward. My only tip to DMs trying to run it is that, time permitting, you should write out the nothic says to each player if it succeeds on its weird insight against them. I think weird insight could be really cool, especially with a secretive party like mine, but I didn’t pre-write anything, and some of the wording was off. (My tired rogue player didn’t even realize that I was referencing her super traumatic backstory and was just confused.)

After dispatching the nothic, the party debated whether or not to leave straight away (since Jeff had told them about the tunnel out of the crevasse area). They determined, ultimately, that the guard barracks/common room areas were worthless to them, but did want to go into the wizard’s workshop and quarters (though the relevant person is... not a wizard in my game exactly) to get more information about where the girls were being taken. In this case, I replaced “Glasstaff” with Bran Galhyde, a noble previously introduced in the game as a member of the cult that the paladin’s parents are in. Bran’s involvement (and resultantly the cult’s involvement) had been suggested before, since said paladin had spoken to him before going to the frat house, and he had suggested that he had some involvement with the frat (though confirmed nothing). They had also found out from Jeff that Lord Galhyde (who I decided didn’t have reason to go by a pseudonym given the already secret nature of the operation) was organizing and paying for the transport of the captives, though this name didn’t mean anything to anyone but the paladin, who chose not to share what she knew. Hoping to get more information on where people were being taken, the bard and rogue embarked on a stealth mission, turning invisible and sneaking into the the workshop, where they rolled a good enough stealth roll that they weren’t noticed by the rat and a good enough perception roll to tell that there was one person in the next room. Deciding that the best way to handle the situation was to surprise attack (since even invisible people would be noticed rifling through papers on the desk someone was sitting at), the rogue sprung an attack and the bard cast silence. Since the individual (a well-dressed individual the party suspects but isn’t sure is Bran) was a spellcaster, he recognized the silence spell, drank an invisibility potion.

As far as relevant information the party got from this little expedition, they were able to get the Dwarvish book about the Forge of Spells in Wave Echo Cave, which was especially of interest to the wizard (conveniently the only one who reads Dwarvish), since I recently introduced an artificer NPC who is a friend/potential love interest of the wizard. They also found a letter to Lord Galhyde signed from “The Watched One” (my replacement for the Black Spider for reasons that will become clear anyways). I completely changed the content of the letter, since the one in the adventure doesn’t make sense with either my setting or the order in which I’m presenting plot hooks, but the letter they did get mentioned “the cave”, so the players are pretty set on finding Wave Echo Cave and stopping whatever horrible ritual might happen there.

Of course, they need to find it first, and there lies the plot of the next few sessions.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

5 The Predator

Short opinion: Nothing can make you hate Visser One quite like reading this book. 

Long opinion:

Although he can be loud, and obnoxious, and can take a joke waaaaay too far, Marco also might be the most adult member of the team as of the beginning of the series.  After all, this book opens with its 13-year-old protagonist buying groceries for his family using a budget he balanced himself, with every intention of going home and cooking dinner for both himself and his dad.  Not only does Marco take care of his dad, he treats that caretaking as a fact of life.  He might whine and joke about it, but he also stops in the middle of that process to save some random stranger getting beaten up in an alleyway.  (In the same situation, one could imagine Jake deciding that the risk to the team was too great for it to be worth morphing, Rachel or Tobias planning out some elaborate revenge scheme, and Cassie or Ax waiting for the situation to blow over before offering the victim help.)  Marco might be a little ruthless, and kind of a brat at times, but he also understands how the world works in a way that most kids his age—including his teammates—do not.  

Edna St. Vincent Millay has a poem, “Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies,” that makes the point better than ever I could: childhood ends with the first major loss in one’s life.  Adulthood begins with the understanding of death and grief and mortality that can only come from a world-shattering loss of a loved one.  Marco has to assume a lot of very literal and very mundane adult responsibilities at a young age—he is essentially acting as the head of his household in the absence of a competent parent—but he also has a brutally realistic understanding of death in a way that no one else* does.  Right from the first moment that Tobias suggests the Animorphs should get involved in the war, up through Marco’s decision to quit midway through this book, he has asserted the same point over and over: that death is very, very real and will find them if they fight this war.  He’s correct, of course, since by the end of the war they’ve not only lost Rachel but also James and Collette and Jara Hamee and David and hundreds of foot soldiers and loved ones.  

Other people have commented on the skill with which Applegate portrays the horror of the ants, and the ongoing motif of Marco being the weakest morpher (and also the one who stays the closest to human, with the only primate battle morph on the team), but the other moment from this book that I think is really important for the character is when Marco wakes up from a nightmare about The Lobster Incident, and his dad treats it as more or less routine.  Rachel and Cassie and Jake all get some combination of concern and shock from their families when they start showing signs of PTSD, but Marco’s dad doesn’t seem surprised at all.  That suggests to me that Marco is already dealing with a lot of negative mental health experiences as a result of Eva’s loss, well before he ever gets dragged into the bloody life-destroying hell of war.  

Marco can see where they’re all going, well before Jake and Ax lose their idealism or Rachel and Tobias lose their war-hawk tendencies (pun not intended).  He has already spotted the bright, clear line from Point A (six idiot teenagers charging off to save the world) to Point B (two teenagers dead in battle, one totally disengaged from her friends, and three rushing off on a suicide mission to combat depression).  It’s not cowardice that keeps him out of the fight at first, the way Tobias accuses, and it’s not selfishness, the way Rachel says.  It’s the calm, certain awareness that they are definitely in over their heads.  

When Marco does tell Jake he’s quitting—and Jake takes the news with his usual airbender calm—he gives a very specific reason.  He says, “a year from now I don’t want my dad going to leave flowers at two graves,” which is such a gut-punch of a line because it tells us that Marco has already pictured that exact scene (#5).  Marco understands exactly how it would play out if he did, in fact, die in the war.  When Marco says that he refuses to throw his life away because his loss would destroy his dad, he’s making a hugely adult decision with a degree of empathy and horrible pragmatism that none of the others have yet learned by force.  None of the others really seem to give much thought to their own deaths.  Cassie lightly dismisses her parents’ and friends’ concerns when she is (apparently) dead, first in #19 when she and Aftran/Karen disappear into the woods, and again in #44 when she takes an involuntary vacation to Australia.  Rachel struggles to wrap her head around her own death even as she goes into the battle that will cost her her life (#54).  Jake, Tobias, and Ax never really seem to think about it at all, unless Jake is looking to throw himself heroically between Crayak’s Hessian bullet and his friends.  Marco has calculated the possibility of his own death, played out scenarios in his mind, and concluded that that outcome is unacceptable based on a very personal degree of experience with exactly what death means for those left behind.  

And then, of course, we get to the final sequence of the book.  And Marco gets this enormous heap of revelation dumped on his head: all of his own grief, all of his father’s devastation, all of the myriad ways that Eva’s loss destroyed his life… is all a lie.  Marco’s entire existence—suburban house, brilliant engineer dad, gruffly affectionate mom, best friend two doors down, comfortable certainty in his universe, clear role among his friends and classmates—exploded into nothingness the day that the Coast Guard pulled an empty sailboat onto the local pier.  And it wasn’t horrible happenstance, it wasn’t a cosmic accident, it wasn’t a disaster at all.  It was a deliberate decision on the part of a yeerk who couldn’t be bothered to play the role of an ordinary mom anymore when she could instead move on to better things.  Visser One lived in their house, ate at their table, kissed Marco goodnight, and chose to destroy that all.  Marco doesn’t even know for sure anymore—not for a long time—how many of his memories are actually of his mother, and how many are of the imposter.  

But Eva’s mere existence, there on the Blade ship as a convenient tool in the middle of an arms race between Visser Three and Visser One, means that Marco also has the chance to go back.  Once he knows she’s out there, he knows that he has the chance to undo that terrible life-shattering event.  There is a chance that he can bring her home.  That he can give his dad new life.  And so Marco embraces that chance, even though he still knows perfectly well that the war will probably cost him his life.  

*I’ll save my rant about how we get such beautifully terrible depictions of Jake’s grief for Tom and Rachel, and Marco’s grief for Eva, but almost nothing on what it felt like for Ax to lose Elfangor, for another time.