#my beloved came to ask
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What is chelldos? /genq
TL;DR: Chell + Glados ship from game franchise Portal
Long answer under the cut (im surprisef im talking this much about this random thing)
Long answer: (im assuming you asked this due to my header) So essentially about a year or more ago, before i started to socially transition online (mostly on tumblr) my header used to have my fake internet name, which right now is also my internet deadname. Anyway at some point i started experimenting with she/her pronouns, as one does, and eventually i decided that i wanna start using the name "Carla". My url and profile still went at that point by my deadname so i mustered as much creativity as i could (read: not that much in the grand scheme of things) and came up with my current url as of writing this post (undead-dreams-of-overmorrow) and had then to come up with a new header. Because portal was one of the few fandoms i was in at that time and because chelldos was my favourite ship and because i was a lesbian i decided fuck it "chelldos made me who i am"
#green bear spam#my beloved came to ask#< was that the tag i used for asks? i cant recall i just know i stole it from someone but tumblr wont autocomplete properluly#mightvebeen actually#my beloved came to talk
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ok hear me out.... totally crazy idea.... max / lando mind games
Lando stops from where he's grinding against Max's thigh to look up hesitantly. "Hey, you're not like, mad at me from last week's radio, right? Cause Daniel was saying in the media..."
Max is broken out of his spacing out, blinking and then frowning as he registers Lando's words. "I have not spoken to Daniel." His hand curls against Lando's thigh.
Lando nods. Right. Cause it would be pretty awkward of them to be doing this if Max was mad at him. Max's thigh is a solid weight under him and his dick is missing the friction already. They're not supposed to have sex during race week so they improvise. This is basically building core strength for Lando.
"So, we're cool." Lando says nonchalantly, squeezing Max's shoulder in a friendly manner and also to balance himself, gearing himself ready to start back up. His underwear had pooled a small wet spot of precome already.
This time Max stops him. The grip on his waist tightens, stopping his hips from moving. Max holds his gaze in that intense eye contact he likes to hold, that Lando can't shy away from. "Why would we not be cool? It is, of course, your championship to win now,"
Lando's dick is so hard, it twinges in pain. To gain some leverage, he palms Max's half-hard cock through his briefs.
"Which makes it my championship to lose." Max finishes wryly.
"Don't say that." Lando mutters, ears going red, flaming downwards. Lando thumbs Max's bulbous tip to be petty, and Max digs his thumb and fingers into the soft flesh of Lando's waist, who takes the opportunity to continue rutting against him. He knows, okay, Lando knows it's a possibility even as he tells everyone he's taking it one race at a time. There's a chance. But it's also Max. And Max is the driver he rates the most, why it feels so, so rewarding to beat him. 70 points is not nothing, in 9 races, anything can happen. A single safety car can change the entire standings.
Lando grinds against Max's thigh, bare skin against harsh sensations of cotton making him feel all sorts of frayed. This entire year, he wanted to be taken seriously as a title contender and now everybody's treating like it's a done deal, causing major whiplash.
"Why not? It's true." Max says matter-of-factly, appearing unruffled even as his pupils are completely dark drowning out that ocean blue as he watches Lando's breathing get faster and his hands on Lando are practically pulling his hips forward in rhythm.
"You've got the same chance as me, mate." Lando's heart rate is speeding up. He paws at Max's dick, which is now fully erect, and jerks it off in harsh strokes. It's a nice dick, average sized on the girther end, not terrifyingly large like in porn. Very friend shaped. "It's still anybody's game."
By anybody he means just the two of them. But then again, Max knows that too.
"I can only outdrive the car. You have the fastest car. 9 perfect races. Vettel's done it before," The 'I've done it' goes unsaid but heard regardless. "It's in your hands now."
The only trophy in Lando's hands right now is attached to Max. Fuck you, Lando thinks. When he was first starting to jerk off as a hormonal teenager, he was scared he was doing it so much he would rip it straight off. He imagines ripping it off Max, blood spurting everywhere, misses the race, the championship is secured. He doesn't actually want to do that. He imagines getting on his knees, and taking Max's length in its entirety in his mouth - the way he can never quite manage in real life - look up at him, recently as heavenly light shines on him. The pressure is building in the pit of Lando's stomach, he's thinking every thought that crosses his head to find the one that pushes him over the edge into sweet release.
"When you're in the fastest car, everything below first in underperforming." Max is rolling his own hips now too, voice more breathy.
"You think I don't fucking know that?" Lando snaps, emotional regulation out of bounds, as if he isn't very well aware of the mountain to climb, the ones Max has scaled and back. They're all fucking competitors. Second place is first loser.
Max pulls Lando close, their dicks finally, finally making contact through two thin layers of cotton. Still, he can feel the weight, the shape of it under him and it feels obscene. Like pretend sex, instead of the real thing. The touch feels electrifying, even as it's not enough. They're in a kind of fucked up embrace, hips moving in tandem. Max pats Lando's back reassuringly, going down to his spine.
"Come on. We can be World Champion, Lando." His words are mocking, but they do it for Lando who buries his groan into Max's neck, feeling his orgasm being pulled out from him.
Max doesn't let him relish in the afterglow, wastes no time in taking Lando's hand and pulling it down his pants and jerks himself off. He bites Lando's shoulder as he finishes, making Lando twitch, spilling over both of their hands.
Finally, Lando flops over him on the sofa, both of them sharing wet patches on the front of their underwear. When the high from the orgasm subsides, the shame of rubbing one out against his main rival's leg and wanting his approval creeps in.
9 perfect races swims in his head.
He knows Max will do everything in his power to win, it just doesn't occur to him he's one of those things too.
#woah that's a crazy prompt did you come up with it yourself#came to me in a vision wouldn't leave my head etc#if you see the vision with me. hold my hand and please tell me#f1 rpf#my fics#frottage my beloved#norstappen#blorbocedes ask#kitten friends
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remember when we were all speculating pre 4.0 after the livestream that neuvillette would be some kind of mastermind controlling everything behind the scenes, but in reality hes just a gentle soul trying to navigate the ways of being human and protecting fontaine
like
okay. sign these papers for our marriage ig.🧍♀️
#just genshin <3#he gives me sm whiplash but its okay it adds to his charm 🫶#neuvillette the beloved 🥹#send help its nearly 4 am and ive been having an existential crisis abt my life but i had to post this bc it suddenly came to mind#ill answer asks when i wake up later 🥹
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Just gonna drop this here… 🤭
Ah yes, my comfort ship: Blonde Superman x Supreme Commander of the Argo II <333
#my babies#valgrace my beloved#when ppl ask me to tell a tale more tragic Romeo and Juliet:#one best friend died and came back to life only to find out that the other died because in the end the prophecy needed to be complete :(#doodles#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#the trials of apollo#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa#leo valdez#jason grace#they deserved so much better#valgrace
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tbh I was wrong when I said that trans Estinien wouldn't have done anything different except she'd knock the stomach plate out of her dragoon armour once she realised what she wanted to present as.
Aymeric would woo the fuck out of her with full courtly hand kisses and calling her "my lady" and dancing in front of the fire etc and she would be helpless.
#ffxiv#estimeric#grumpy butch Estinien my beloved#I understand no one else has this headcanon because it just came to me in a dream with no explanation#and no one else is casually perceiving this off canon Estinien vibes#but I do think about her every few weeks and it makes me smile :P#I'll ask Feo Ul to drop by and update a few more people on this so you feel what I felt#then you'll get it
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knight yuta who at first glance looks like someone clumsy and who barely knows how to hold a sword but who's actually the most skilled and bloodthirsty of all the knights, he simply doesn't like you to see that side of him and he also likes the attention you give him when you think he got hurt 😊
oh the best of both worlds… the other knights always say he goes easier on them when the princess is watching, and they don’t get why—wouldn’t he want to show off when you’re watching? but yuuta doesn’t want you to see him as violent… he wants you to know that he can protect you, but you shouldn’t have to see him do the worst 😇😇 also liking the attention you give him so true, he would like that you worry and fuss over him when he returns. also the idea of him being so self-sacrificing in battle, not just to protect the others and you, but because shouldering the brunt of the injuries means he has your undivided attention caring for him when he gets back he is so not slick omg..
#anonymous#hes so..... i did say he was the secretary of not being shit 😐 and i meant that!#knight yuuta my beloved.....#the first thing that came to mind when you sent this ask was him covering the little kid's face when he comes back in s2#bc he doesn't want her to see rika destroy the curse..... omg....#yuuta.ask#royalty au
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I don’t know what I’m more baffled by, the fact that he apparently refers to her as my beloved Penelope or the fact that he thinks about her when he thinks about home so essentially she’s his home
The absolute cheek of that man. HOW ON EARTH DID IT TAKE A DAMN KISS FOR HIM TO SEE THAT THIS IS NOT JUST BFF BEHAVIOUR????
#my beloved Penelope#tell me he doesn’t refer to her as my beloved#even before he came home#which is her btw#she’s his home#and this man cannot see it until she literally asks him#omg#I really can’t#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3
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It says in your little thing that your Mormon, are you still Mormon cuz respectfully I've heard a lot of shit about Mormons and how they are very transphobic and homophobic! So not trying to be rude just genuinely wondering if I read that wrong or something.
Hey! Yeah, I am a mormon, but I love all my queer siblings, including/especially my trans people. But it's a complicated religion and I have a complicated relationship with it, so I understand the confusion.
The short answer is that I was raised mormon, continue to find a lot of comfort and truth in SOME of their teachings, and I am perpetually very pissed with a lot of their other teachings, cuz yeah, a lot of them are Not Good. So I'm mormon and mad about it. It's kind of like. . .imagine if you were raised Catholic and only really have good memories of your Catholic community and find a lot of comfort in teachings about God's love, but you absolutely despise the administration of the Catholic church and like, everything they say about queer people. It's like that.
The long answer is this:
A) The mormons get a bad rap on the internet for stuff that isn't actually true. If you ever have a specific question, I am happy to answer to the best of my abilities.
B) Having said that, a lot of the teachings of the mormon church regarding queer people are really really bad and I do not support or encourage this even slightly. I myself am queer, and I have to put up with hearing all kinds of queerphobic shit from the church all the time. And I hate it and I speak against it whenever it is safe for me to do so. It just. All of it goes soooo against the other teachings of the church. I am not the only queer member. There is an entire community of us on tumblr over here. We all work and suffer through it together.
C) I still believe in the stuff that's at the fundamentals of the gospel though. Namely, God exists and he loves all of us unconditionally. He sent us to Earth so that we could learn and grow and become happier through our experiences here. Free agency/the ability to make independent choices is very VERY important to him. He sent Jesus Christ to suffer for our sins so that when we do fuck it up, we don't have to live with that guilt forever. Jesus also suffered for our pain and sorrow so that we didn't have to and can bring us healing. We're supposed to love our neighbors with our whole hearts.
I also believe that Joseph Smith did translate the Book of Mormon, although he was still a human being who made mistakes and I don't believe in a LOT of the stuff he said and did. I doubt you've read the Book of Mormon, but it's really just The Bible Extended Edition. There's a reason it's full name is The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It covers what the hell was going on in the Americas during the biblical times.
I also believe that God has chosen prophets for our modern day to continue giving us revelation. I also believe those prophets are mostly crusty old men with outdated personal opinions that they mistake for revelation, that they fuck it up a lot, and I wish a lot of them would hurry up and die so I no longer have to listen to their bullshit.
D) Religion and faith are personal. I'm not here to convert anyone, especially other queer people. I continue practicing my religion because I have had literal years and some really amazing people to help me sort out what is good and bad and to figure out what parts of it are best for me as a person. I understand that what's best for some people is literally none of it, and I also understand that while some people could benefit from just doing what I do, that the way the church treats queer people (and also women sometimes) does more harm than the good parts help. So while I talk about my religion sometimes, it's always more about my personal relationship with it and never to try to convert people. I fully support ex-mormons who left the church, because sometimes the environment can be truly toxic and the religious trauma they have experienced is real.
E) The culture of the church and the actual doctrinal teachings of the church are two very different things. Utah mormon culture is also different than regular mormon culture. All of these things have good aspects to them, but church culture and Utah mormon culture also have a lot of really harmful things too, and these don't even have anything to do with the crusty old men being homophobic/transphobic. I am also mad about this, and I also complain about this fairly frequently.
I'm glad you asked because I understand that this stuff can be confusing. I think it's impossible to be any kind of religious queer person and not have a really complicated and deeply personal relationship with your religion.
I hope that answered your question, and I completely understand if this makes my blog feel like an unsafe space for you and you feel like you need to unfollow me. I do, however, tag every church related post I make, both with a religion cw and the tumblr mormon tag. Do what's best for you, and much love.
Also, unrelated, but I really appreciate all the posts you make and every time I see a little notification from you on one of my posts, it makes me so very happy.
#giraffe's ramblings#tumblrstake#cw: religion#tw: religion#mormonism#mormon#asks#my very liberal parents are probably the only reason I can stay in the mormon church#because they fully support queer people and are some of the kindest people alive#and they were very clear about their opinions whenever one of the church's wrong teachings came up#if I had more fundamentalist parents I would almost certainly be an ex-mormon#but my parents my friends and my little community of religious tumblr gays helps me through it and lets me stay for the good parts#beloved mutuals
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You are amazing! Amazing! And I'm a greedy person, so I propose: Older! Time traveler! Baek Cheon and Tang Bo compete for Cheong Myeong's affection. CM is oblivious and CMun is in hell reserved for protective older brothers. Those perverted bastards! How dare they lust after his precious, naive and innocent sajae?! He'll break their heads!
You're so sweet to me 🥺🫶 thank you so much!!!!
also I ADORE TIME TRAVEL AUs sm you have no idea how giddy I got when I saw this ask WAHAHAHA
»—————————–✄
"Oh? He's pretty handsome..."
Tang Bo almost spills the alcohol he was pouring into his cup. His eyes immediately snap towards Chung Myung's face as he slowly lowers the bottle back on the table.
This guy slouched in front of him wasn't someone who gave compliments that easily. It took months of nudging and stubborn insistence for Chung Myung to finally admit that Tang Bo was 'passable-looking, sure, whatever'—a compliment that had to be drawn out tooth and nail but one that Tang Bo won through hard work and effort.
So, surely, he must have misheard Chung Myung's muttering.
"Did you say something, hyung-nim?" Tang Bo asks, smile twitching stiffly at the way Chung Myung's gaze remained locked on something—someone—behind Tang Bo as he took a long sip from his own cup.
"That man behind you," Chung Myung replies, pointing at the subject of their conversation with his mouth non-too-discretely. "He looks like a traveling prince or something."
Tang Bo doesn't know what minute expression passed through his face, but Chung Myung catches it well enough and raises a questioning eyebrow at him.
"I'm serious." Chung Myung insists, not realizing that Tang Bo is irritated for a completely different reason. "He really does look like some well-off to-do guy."
Tang Bo huffs and turns around without any subtlety whatsoever, determined to see what 'this prince guy' looked like to have managed to snag his hyung's attention so easily.
Tang Bo lets out an indignant noise. Okay, he'll admit it. The guy was abnormally handsome. He had well-defined androgynous facial features and an equally well-defined body, Tang Bo thinks, as his gaze locks onto the man's thick and muscled arms.
There might have been merit in Chung Myung's comment about this guy probably being a prince of sorts. If he was, Tang Bo would hedge a guess that he was a runaway one.
The man wore faded, plain white robes without any discernable insignia marking him from a sect or family. He had a similarly white headband strapped across his forehead with dark bangs framing an unblemished face.
If he was trying to disguise himself or hide his identity, he was doing a terrible job at it. Despite the simplicity of his outfit, his presence alone (and face) demanded attention.
"Told you." Chung Myung cheekily says, laughing at Tang Bo's disgruntled expression.
Even Tang Bo could admit that the man looks like he stepped out of one of the many heroic epics that common folk often passed around through books and verbal tales. How unfair.
Grumbling lightly, Tang Bo turns back to their table and throws back his cup of alcohol. "Bet he's just some rich runaway brat."
"Eh? Probably. But—ah, huh?"
A shadow falls over Tang Bo and he watches as Chung Myung's surprised face ends up trained above Tang Bo's head.
"Hello." The man greets them with his deep voice.
Ugh, Tang Bo grimaces as he pulls back his chair away from the man's shadow. Even his voice sounded handsome if that were even possible.
But Tang Bo was the gentleman between him and his hyung, so he replies, faking politeness, "Can we help you? My companion and I are in the middle of a meal together, you see."
Tang Bo tenses, immediately on guard when he sees the man's eyes sharpen as it turns towards him, clearly recognizing the dismissive tone Tang Bo used.
Other than an indecipherable flash in his eyes, the man's face (which felt more punch-able by the second, if you asked Tang Bo) remained unchanged.
The disruptor kept his gentle smile and Tang Bo was certain that he chose to stand where he did because of the way the lightbulb illuminated his face from above.
"It's alright, I can wait."
If Tang Bo had any less self-control, he would have already grabbed the man by the lapels of his faded robes and tossed him out of the establishment himself.
Who the hell was this man to have the audacity to look at his Chung Myung with such a warm gaze as he said that?
"Ha. Ha." Tang Bo grits out, a vein in his jaw ticking.
He doesn't care if this man looks like the textbook and fairytale version of a heroic warrior. His shamelessness should cancel out that stupid-looking face of his...!
Tang Bo feels a part of his soul leave at the unfairness of it all when Chung Myung shifts in his seat in involuntary self-consciousness.
Normal people wouldn't have noticed that—hell, not even Chung Myung himself probably realized!—but Tang Bo knew his hyung. They've spent too much time together to not not know each other's body language.
So why?
Why the hell did Tang Bo just spot a smirk on the man's face, huh?!?!
Chung Myung's eyes waver momentarily for reasons Tang Bo couldn't pick out, but Chung Myung hesitantly (why, hyung?!) opens his mouth and asks, "Have we...met before?"
Tang Bo's eyes nearly bulge out of his skull at the flirtatious-sounding sentence.
He knows Chung Myung doesn't realize it, but his hyung was personally handing over a signed warrant to this man, allowing him permission to take as many shameless liberties as he wanted.
In times like this, Tang Bo wishes his hyung wasn't as socially oblivious as he was.
He knows it's a futile hope to wish that the man missed the opening. But he seemed to recognize that Chung Myung was asking the question with pure face value.
Nonetheless, Tang Bo wishes he hadn't suggested this very detour for some alcohol because then they wouldn't have encountered this tall man in front of them.
The stupid, headband-wearing man hums as he fiddles lightly with the pink tassel on the hilt of his sheathed sword.
His gaze goes a bit distant as if recalling a far-off memory, and when he blinks back to reality, he lets out a deep, vibrating chuckle and locks eyes with Chung Myung.
"You were unforgettable."
Tang Bo's lips tremble. Why did it sound as if this man was insinuating something? His words felt like a romantic confession as well as a pointed barb directed at Tang Bo.
Chung Myung coughs lightly at the odd compliment thrown at him and throws back in one go the remaining alcohol in their shared bottle. He chuckles awkwardly before motioning at the man to sit down on the other side of the table.
Tang Bo doesn't think Chung Myung realizes it, but a light pink flush is spread over his cheeks.
And Tang Bo, unconsciously crushing the cup of alcohol in his hand, knew that it wasn't because of the alcohol.
#cmun when cm comes back to mount hua with a new man and tang bo glaring daggers at the man: dear god he found ANOTHER one?!#cmun's brother instincts go into overdrive when he catches bc and tb standing outside of chung myung's room in the middle of the night#cmun with his teeth grinding: why are you outside my sajae's door#tb and bc staring each other down: to make sure this guy doesn't get up to any funny business#cm visits his office one day#and cmun accidentally destroys his table when cm turns his head slightly and he catches sight of a bruise on cm's neck#sorry i had to cut it off before cmun actually came in#i would've run off with this and ended up with a full-fledged fic ☠ HAHAHSD#i can try making a part two if people are interested 👍#ALSO I JUST NEED TO YOU TO KNOW IM OBSESSED WITH THIS PROMPT#I LOVE TIME TRAVEL SM IT'S SO FUN AND NEAT TO ME GUHFUHFS#tangchung#baekchung#chung myung#tang bo#baek cheon#oblivious cm my beloved <3#rotmhs#rotbb#return of the blossoming blade#return of the mount hua sect#tin writes#my ask hole#w-s-kibela
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I just saw the excellent post about Chuuya's loyalty and 1) how he hasn't questioned his philosophy and 2) "In a world where a "path" typically involves challenging the characters' philosophies and forcing them to reevaluate, what the hell is going to have to happen to get Chuuya to do the same?" (quoting you)
Chuuya is always used by others. He's not the only BSD character whose been taken advantage of, but it does seem to be reoccurring with him? First by the government who intended to use him as a super weapon, then by the Sheep who used him for his ability, then by mafia/Mori (getting him to join in exchange for sparing the sheep, keeping his past from him and giving him incentive to become an executive and stay in the organization). He's constantly used for his power.
Please tell me if I'm misinterpreting what you all said, but it seems (to me) that Chuuya ignores the mafia's/Mori's manipulation because they have helped him and given him a home+family, so he's instead loyal to them.
Because even though Mori has not and is using him for his power, he still allows it/goes along with it because they've helped him in the past and earned his loyalty.
So Chuuya tolerates being used.
He's now being used again, obviously, in part, because of his power. We have Fyodor referring to him as just his ability and bragging about how he can "use" him better than Dazai ("doesn't that mean you're unfit to USE a gravity manipulator")
Do you think it's possible that just being vamped and used again will cause him to reflect on his mentality? He's once again being used (but be it in far more blatant way: literal mind control. Also reminds me of Verlaine+his creator). Reflecting on how he's been used in the past and no longer accepting being used by others anymore?
Or do you think it might have the opposite affect and push him deeper into the mafia somehow
Also it's interesting that Fyodor is using him but hasn't earned his loyalty (like the sheep+mafia) and how that'll affect Chuuya
I'll get to the second ask in a bit but I'm combining these because they're related.
About the first ask: I mean, yeah, you're right about this. I don't know that I'd consider it so much "ignoring" though as "the benefits outweigh the costs so whatever", and I do want to state that I'm pretty sure Mori is genuinely at least a little fond of Chuuya (see: their conversation about leadership at the end of Fifteen), and his Mafia colleagues do respect him.
But yeah, you are absolutely right to say that there is a pattern of people who want Chuuya for his ability and his loyalty, and/or reduced him down to these traits. Playing hot potato with the escaped military lab experiment and the Mafia won (<-simplification for the funnies but still).
But here's the thing: if this was the end of it, we might expect to see some resentment mixed in there from Chuuya. He was blackmailed with the Sheep's lives. His past was intentionally locked away from him until he worked his way up to executive. That's... not great.
But instead we find pretty much only gratitude from him. Why?
Well, see, there's a reason I put the return of Chuuya's screwed up self-concept in the tags on that post, because it's kind of at the heart of his impressive loyalty. Chuuya believes that since he is the one with the strongest power, that makes him responsible for protecting everyone else, which means that he rationalizes any concern or protection directed at him as something "above and beyond", and worthy of recognition and repayment. Remember that he genuinely felt like just a vessel for power and nothing else for apparently quite a bit of his childhood, and the Sheep emphasizing that he owed them for taking him in probably did not help.
When it comes to having his back, the Mafia did this for him in a way no one else did. They protect their own, a value that aligns closely with Chuuya's own personal philosophy. The Mafia is also relatively safe from external threat, if we recall Dazai's pitch to Odasaku in Day I Picked Up Dazai - Odasaku is being targeted, but no one in their right mind would challenge the Mafia just to get to him. So, the Mafia has provided Chuuya with protection, comradery, and relative safety, which in my mind all condenses into a central need that takes precedence over everything else to him.
Chuuya's core need is actually stability.
And this makes quite a bit of sense. He started off as a kid with no memories and a whole lot of trauma he couldn't remember the roots of. One's past is a source of stability, but that had been taken from him. His position as leader of the Sheep was shaky. Even his identity as a human being was called into question. Chuuya as a kid and teen was largely untethered, separate from everyone else with no way to ground himself. Under those circumstances, something that originated as a chain could easily become a safety rope.
And once Chuuya found this stability, there was really no need for him to change anything. So he didn't. He settled into his new role and became really, really good at it, and didn't bother to re-evaluate beyond that. Why would he? That minimal core need has been met, despite the rocky beginning.
Which brings me to this second ask because it's actually incredibly relevant. Yes, Chuuya and Sigma are alike. You are not losing it anon.
Let's run a list, shall we? They both awoke with no memories and a missing history, and had their humanity called into question. They were used and blackmailed repeatedly, which they were, fortunately and unfortunately, consciously aware of. When they find something that matters to them, they become violently defensive of it. They both operate on principles of reciprocity and transaction because that is what they believe to be normal in relationships (Sigma's ability even is quite literally a transaction!). They both have pretty low standards for their assistance (Sigma hearing one (1) single person (Atsushi) be kind to him in what he thought were his last moments, Chuuya "You have helped Chuuya! Chuuya will now kill and die for you!" Nakahara).
Above all else, they are looking for stability. They are looking for a home.
As of yet, Sigma hasn't found a true home, but it seems we may be building up to him joining the ADA. The key part is Sigma's realization that the Agency doesn't rely solely on transaction. Dazai is not using the Agency, the Agency is not using Dazai. The Agency members are all helping each other. They care about each other.
Meanwhile, Chuuya has already found a place that provides his core need, but there's one caveat about the Mafia that should be clarified here - as Odasaku says in Dark Era, people within its ranks don't talk about personal matters and feelings with each other, and everyone instead keeps to themselves. If you don't talk about your issues or air them out, relations tend to stay personally shallow and dictated almost entirely by the demands and positions of the organization. This is not a conducive environment for reappraisal or self-exploration.
Unfortunately, this is ideal for Mr. Chuuya "I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die" Nakahara.
Chuuya has found some measure of stability - solace in his own self-defined identity in spite of the initial ambiguity as to his humanity. "This is who I am", "Till those flames die down, I can't just do whatever I want", "I'm gonna do what I need to do", etc. But importantly, this identity is entangled in whichever group he happens to be a part of, which in this case is the Mafia. This kind of self-identity cannot exist without the structure of an organization. It relies on the reciprocity of a group.
Moreover, it relies on Chuuya showing very little vulnerability. Compartmentalize, and move on. He expects that of himself.
So, we've established that Chuuya has his core need for stability met by the Mafia - a relatively secure place that runs on transaction, which is familiar to him - yet it also doesn't push him out of his comfort zone with respect to emotional vulnerability and openness. What this means is that, in the Mafia, Chuuya is practically invincible, both physically (his ability, his martial arts prowess) and emotionally (personal life kept hidden and guarded as a Mafia expectation).
Unfortunately, this means Chuuya also remains stagnant as a character, which finally, finally brings me back to your original question anon.
No, I don't think the vampirism is enough to trigger change in Chuuya's character. Chuuya has some standards, and treating him like a tool (and Dazai's tool, no less) is going to seriously piss him off, but that's anger at Fyodor, and it doesn't impact his stability with the Mafia any which way. If Chuuya had've been forced to activate Corruption to escape the drowning then maybe he would've been angry with Dazai enough for something to shift (activation being his own choice is a huge theme with them), but since he didn't, I expect Chuuya will unfortunately just shrug it off and roll with it. Probably yell at him for a bit, but nothing that would have far-reaching consequences for his character unless there is something about his current situation we don't yet know.
I think for Chuuya to grow and change as a character, he needs something major to shift in his life - the threat has to come from within his place of security. He needs to be destabilized. Something needs to happen that specifically targets his tethers and his self-concept.
Personally, my money's on the destabilization of his bond with Mori, who he has the most respect for, because that might trigger development related to leadership and goals, but I guess we'll see. I think it'll probably be incredibly heart wrenching and hurt us all severely, whatever it is.
Huh. I wrote a lot. Congrats for making it to the end! I'm going to sleep now. :D
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Edited by removing the entire middle section because it was absolute garbage and probably should’ve been its own post. I hope the rest of this holds up. That’s what I get for writing things at 2 in the morning I guess.
#i hope this answered everything ok! i wanted to be thorough#your ask is so neatly organized omg.#thanks for the ask!#bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd analysis#bsd meta#bsd sigma#i hope what i'm trying to say came across properly#storyrambles#every time i think i've said all i can about chuuya i go on another deranged ramble about him. incredible.#chuuya's screwed up self-concept my beloved#(except not actually beloved it's kind of sad honestly)#also i think the flags' influence on chuuya's loyalty cannot be understated#by killing them verlaine i think actually assured chuuya would stay - he has to make their sacrifice worth it. he holds onto their memories#the entire rest of the story. and well after it too.
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Incognito is a feature on most browsers so that your search history and stuff like that isn't saved
Im a computer nerd, i knew that
Also incognito is for the mlst part useless cayse it provides a false sense of security :)
At least if you dont build on it
The better option without going ballistic would be using Tor, possibly with a vpn if possible
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SUPER LATE BUT
Happy Birthday Kel <333
I dubbed the comic I made last year for his birthday! I've been meaning to do this since I got like. 400 notes FHDJKASKFSH but this is my first time ever editing a comic dub so PLEASE DONT JUDGE IT LMAOOOO
Shoutout to my friends Void and Chip (and my brother) for the additional voices im so sorry i made you guys do this I love you thank you so much you tried your best <3333
#star art#ren's blorbos#omori#omori kel#kel omori#kel birthday#kel voice my beloved i hadnt done it in a WHILE#sadge boy :(#dude my editing skills are being put to the TEST#this it like . the second official time ive edited#not counting that first time#anyways#FGDSAJKFHJ THANKS TO MY FRIENDS IM SORRY I JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND ASKED THIS#that was so randome#i genuienly dont know why i added ''woohoo'' in the comic i admit that was a very dumb addition#YAYYY!!!
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Ooh. 5, 14, and/or 24 for the ask game?
(Just answered 5!)
14. Is there a character or ship you were so sure you would never write/draw but now you’ve changed your mind?
If i’m being real here, yes: MY OWN OCS HAHAHAHAH i was so convinced i would never even make ocs, much less draw them, ship them, write for them… The Julie of the not-so-distant past would be starstruck!
24. What’s you favorite thing about [Phoenix]?
AHHHH THIS IS SO DIFFICULT!!! I love so many thing about him i’m literally sitting here like “oh my favorite thing? [lists everything]”. That being the case, safe to assume literally anything i say will fit so…. I love how he fights for what he thinks is right, and does so with that pathetic tweak in his spine that signals to the audience his homosexual flair:
also his dark/brown eyes i’d do anything for u gorjus
#sorry for cheating on 14 but that’s what came to mind… they have been taking over my brain lately lol#genuinely yall are giving me the toughest questions like how do i PICK JUST ONE??? PHOENIX WRIGHT IS MY BELOVED#kissing him kissing him kissing him kissing him kissing him kissing him kissing him smooching him even and then kissing him some more SMOOOO#asks#ask meme
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The Madhumati Gupta Buaji Weekly
Mugzeen Adison (Magazine Edition)
Namaste Nandkisore!
Aasaa karat hain ki, nandkisore, aap sab logan theek haai. Hum logan bhi theek haai, nandkisore. Sasi babua bhi ab theek hi haai bas pahile se tanik kamjor hui gaye, chhari ke sahare chalat haain ab. Aoor humka bataye rahe ki oo ki ee halat bhi oo Syaam ki kirpa rahi. Humra mann toh karat raha ki oo sasure ko ek ghumaai ke lagay de ki jindagi bhar phir aisan kucho karat ki jurrat naa karihe, haa.
Chalo choro babua/bitiya. Arre nandkisore ab tanik aapan baat bhi karau, ghar mein sab logan theek haai na? Tohre Amma-Bauji, tohri kauno humre jaisan Buaji hau toh oo sab theek haai na, nandkisore?
Ab kaa batyay tohka, nandkisore. Kal parso ki baat rahi, Sanka Devi aayi gayi phudakti-phudakti Laxminagar. Humka kahine lagi ki Arnav babua ke daftar mein kauno mugzeen-wugzeen ke khaatir humka kucho likhna haai. Hum kahe ki ab nandkisore humre jamane mein toh hum aoor tohre phuphaji itni chitthi likhat rahe ki bas pucho naahi. Toh oo kahi ki theek haai buaji aap chitthi likh ke humko bataay dena hum aa kar le jayenge, ab humri buddhi bhi umar ke kaaran mand pari rahi, oo ka jaaye ke baad, hum bhi bhul gaye nandkisore.
Saara kaam karke aaike baithe the, ki oo ka fone aayi gaya, humka puchi ki chhitthi likhe haai ki naahi, toh hum kahe, nandkisore, kaam mein thora byast hoyi gaye the, abhi likhat rahe.
Ab hum kaa bataay, nandkisore, humri jindagi mein kauno bataane layak khaas toh kucho haai nahi. Athaarah (18) ke the, amma-bauji ne byaah karaaye diya, tohre phuphaji un dino rail maashter kaa kaam karat rahe. Byaah ke baad humka liye eehan Delhi aayi gaye Laxminagar, ab nandkisore tabahu se hum idhar hi rahat haai.
[Buaji aur phuphaji honeymoon ke liye puri dilli ghume the. Phuphaji jab bhi kaam ke wajah se dusri jagah jaate toh wahan se buaji ko chitthi likhte the. ~Buaji ki pyaari SD ;)]
Sabahu theek chalat raha tha. Byaah ke teen saal baad, ek din khabar mili ki kauno train mein aag lag gayi haai, aoor bohut logan ki jaan gayi haai, a phir hum bhi chakkar kaat kaat kar thak gaye, nandkisore, daftar se aspataal aoor aspataal se phir daftar, phir unke daftar se ek din chhitthi aaye ki tohre phuphaji toh milat naahi toh unki penson ki raakam ab humko mila karegi, hum bohut roye oo din.
Bohut hi ache insaan the, nandkisore, hum behad prem karat the, ab kaa karaein, oo din ke baad se hum aapan nandkisore ke charno mein samarpit hoye gaye. Khair jaane do nandkisore. Ee sab toh bohut purani baat rahi.
Aye nandkisore, agar tumlogan ka kauno dikkat paresaani rahe toh humka bataayi dio, hum tohka tanik samajhaai denge, aoor baaki sab humre nandkisore ke haathon chor denge, theek haai naa? Bilkul kauno dikkat rahi toh bitiya humka aapan buaji samajh kar, eehan aaike bataai dena, mann bhi thora halka hoat jayi. Aoor hum toh waisan bhi jyaada kaam-kaaj naa kar sakat haai naa, toh pura din bas baith ke hi gujar jaat haai. Tohka chitthi likhan ke khaatir humra bhi tanik samay beet jaye.
Ab hum thehre bujurg, humse kaun baat karihe? Oo bhi chitthi likhke, nandkisore? Aajkal toh naa jaane kaa oosab bhatsup-discaard bhagwaan jaane aoor kaa-kaa aayi gaye haai, chitthi likhne ka phursat kaun ke paas rahai?
Khair choro. Humka toh aoor kuch soojh hi naahi rahat haai nandkisore, aoor kaa likhe? Chalao phir rakhte haai kuch batana hau toh likhat dena theek haai naa?
Aoor haan. Humka sunne mein aawat haai ki Sanka Devi ki kauno saheli ka aaj janam din raha? Ee baat sach haai ka, nandkisore? Janam din ki bohut bohut subhkamna tohka, nandkisore. Khub kaam karau, mehnat karau, Arnav babua aoor titaliya ke jaisan naam-paisa kamao, aoor tohka pati-parmeswar toh bohut hi bhagyawaan raha ki oo ka tohre jaisan patni milat rahi, nandkisore (byaah kee ho ki naahi, nandkisore?)
Aoor humri taraf se kauno meethaai wagerah khaa lena, tohka ghar ka pata (address) hota toh dukaan se jalebi aoor kucho dusri meethaai bhijwai dete par kauno baat naahi bitiya muskuraayete rehna. Jindagi mein rone ke bohut mauke milenge par muskuraaye ke mauke khud hi dhundne parat haai, nandkisore.
Chalao phir, ab rakhat haai. Garima ke saath mandir jaanat haai nandkisore. Namaste.
P.S. : Lol. I got this idea today like literally today and then thought of getting started but now I am kinda confused about something whether I should continue this one from buaji's POV only or I should write from all the characters' POV's. Let me know. And also ket me know ki yeh kuch samajh mein aaya bhi ki ekdum kachra kar diya hai maine. Lol :') Ok so I should have added this bit in the beginning but nvrmnd *shrugs* So I have considered double 'a' for आ sound, double 'o' for ऊ sound, double 'e' for इ sound and single 'a' is for अ sound, rest if you find any kind of confusion, please feel free to ask for help, considering this is not regular Hindi so :) Ok. Bye. God bless you.
#arshi#arnav and khushi#arnav singh raizada#ipkknd#khushi kumari gupta#there is a friend who follows this blog and it's her birthday today like yeah after 12 am#from being the follower to ask/wait for my Live Blogs to being one of the closest friends within a month#we came a long way#happy birthday to you dear :)#i hope this matched up to your expectations :')#may you achieve all your dreams and have a happy life ahead nandkisore#and also to all those who read#do tell me if you found it weird or did you get irritated#by the number of times i chose to throw 'nandkisore' at your face after every two words#lol#ok bye y'all#have a shubh ratri/prabhat whatever#ok bye#and also nandkisore guess who added the parts in brackets ;)#yes our beloved titaliya improvised her buaji's letter a bit y'all :)
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it’s deeply funny to me that the manual that ended up making eggman a feminist by mistranslation is for sonic heroes. which introduced neo metal sonic worlds most accidentally transfem character design ever. sonic heroes just keeps being based as shit.
#metal came out to him before locking him up and he instantly became a feminist#he doesn’t think his daughter should be subservient to him bc she’s a woman. just bc she’s a robot 🥰#she can be a girlboss but she needs to stop Locking Him In Rooms and also like. having autonomy. okay#eggman canonically did ask sages preferred pronouns. he supports trans wrongs and womens wrongs#he doesn’t support their rights but that’s bc he supports no one’s rights 💚#anyway. sonic heroes my beloved.
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Voted for Warlock because he looks tired and I am also tired 🩵
AWW THATS SO SWEET he is a pretty tired guy though he’s very chill about it HAHA he’s like the older cool brother of my group
#warlock my beloved he’s just chill as hell#i know im putting callus and warlock against each other but#it’s funny because warlock is the only guy who can even stand callus LMFAO#Lunara is VERY not fond of him and lotus just thinks he’s annoying#but then again warlock likes everyone so#ANYWAYS ENOUGH WARLOCK TALK BACK TO THE ELECTION#also came back from the concert hehe#warlock dude posting#ask bob#bob elections of 2024
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