#my beautiful bitchy bastard man

[hellish-heart-ships]

I’ve had yandere Chaddie, Addakuya and Kokiddie on the brain so like, do y’all wanna hear about them?

[tumbld-out-of-my-bed]

So, I finally gave in and watched the first season of Our Flag Means Death and here are my thoughts on it:

-I've been pronouncing Stede wrong all along

-He reminds me of Aziraphale w that hair haha

-Nvm, he IS Aziraphale (seriously? The parallels are INSANE, y'all were not kidding)

-When will he meet Ed

-I want Jim to be a lesbian

-Damm, what's up w Middle Aged couple representation being all soft blonde bitchy man and goth disillusioned angry man who's secretly soft

Not that I'm complaining

-THEY COME UP WITH AN ARRANGEMENT, HOLY FUCK

-"Massive Aggression" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, COMEDY GOLD I've been laughing at this for a while now

-Sorry, I was wrong. PYRAMID SCHEME IS COMEDIC GOLD

-Okay, got v engrossed, so we'll just ignore I forgot to do this for Ep 6

-I love how everyone is unproblematically accepting Jim and their pronouns. This is how it should be.

-Okay, I take back my Aziraphale comment. Azi could never replace someone's books w the ones he's read before. He'd hoard all of them, that beautiful bastard of a hedonist

-"Oh my god, this is really happening" ME

I know I know, I'm supposed to know what happens in the end, but hey! It's still kinda insane, okay?

- *sees Ed thrash a Snake into oblivion* *nods head* Crowley Kinnie

-OHMYGOD THEY WERE CO-CAPTAINS

-Jealous!Stede is my baby. I need to go hug him

-Nooooooooo, Karl!!!

-Yes, we're all children of Divorce, Black Pete... Don't rub salt on his wounds

-"Friend"

-"Various stages of fucking each other over" I think the over was definitely not needed here

-"You came back" "Never left" OKAY, I SEE WHY Y'ALL WERE LOSING YOUR MINDS OVER THIS

-They're standing up for Stede

Found family T_T

-HE'S WILLING TO GIVE EVERYTHING UP FOR STEDE??? WTFFF, MY HEART!

-Okay, I low-key wish I went into the end blind. Not that it didn't still make my heart sink to the bottom of my chest, but the sucker punch of it all didn't come as hard. But gosh, I'm so excited about S2

(...and I get to see it immediately MWAHAHAHA)

(...I'm sorry)

[aziraphales-library]

Hello dears! I am not quite sure if I have asked this before, so I do apologize if I am repeating myself.

I'm looking for some hurt comfort in the form of a reader with chronic pain. Some fics with the reader being comforted by Crow and/or Az.

If it proves difficult to find fics where the reader has chronic pain, I would also love recommendations on fics where either of the boys struggle with it.

I've had a fair amount of trouble finding them myself, so I thought to ask the masters!

Thank you, and have a wonderful 24/7!

Hi! You check our #reader insert and #chronic pain tags for more fics you may enjoy! I can only find one reader insert fic in which the reader has chronic pain--please be aware this is an explicit fic! The others are more fics in which Aziraphale or Crowley have chronic pain...

Comfort porn for anyone who's feeling sore and in need of some special pampering by GayDemonicDisaster (E)

An angel and a demon turn up on your doorstep to dispense some care when you're not feeling great.

Written by request for a couple of people on our Good Omens discord server who are feeling rotten right now from injuries and chronic illness. CousinSerena started the idea of customised comfort porn, and more was requested, so it was my turn to do one. I also suffer from chronic pain so I know what it feels like to be like this. This one goes out to anyone who needs some one on one NSFW pampering from everyone’s favourite demon and angel. There isn’t any plot, it’s pure indulgent Porn Without Plot.

For this one, the reader will have a vulva, just a CW in case that’s not your cup of tea.

Aches by flowersandfairylights (G)

Crowley is dealing with joint pain, Aziraphale is in distress, somehow they finally (although vaguely) actually tell each other things instead of leaving each other guessing... oh right with a shit ton of comfort from and to both sides.

Balm by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

A summoning leaves Crowley with serious injuries. Despite all of Aziraphale’s healing, some of the damage is permanent. Crowley struggles to adjust to the constant pain, but maybe his angel can make it easier to bear.

Breathe Some Life Into My Bones by PinkPenguinParade (G)

It would be okay, he told himself, standing to clap with the rest of the theatre. One look to his right and he couldn’t stop smiling, even as his corporation complained. Aziraphale wanted him around. Aziraphale wanted him to do things, to be present, to be with him and there was no way he was going to turn that down, not now he finally got to enjoy his angel being kind and bitchy and pouring that ridiculous love out onto the humans and being just enough of a bastard to be worth loving.

Crowley deals with chronic pain, and he hasn't told Aziraphale because he doesn't want to stop giving the angel everything he wants...

Unpacking by cassieoh (M)

Turns out the “moving” part of moving in together is the easy bit.

First Impressions by DawnOfTomorrow (M)

The first time Crowley saw the most beautiful man in the world, he was… in a bit of a state. Hammered, you could say.

The second time he saw the most beautiful man in the world, he was, while not drunk, possibly even more of a mess than when he had been drunk, because he was sitting on the hallway floor of his apartment building, sweaty, covered in paint splotches of various colours, and about 30 seconds from having a nervous breakdown.

It all got worse from there.

- Mod D

[mamamittens]

Got another charming rendition of Nikia! (Same lovely anonymous person as last time!) And I'm not so tired I forgot to share lol so here!

She looks so cute, like she just spotted a friend and wants to play it at least a little cool but is super happy lol

Usual, rambling blurb beneath!

So there's this thing about wearing glasses that's easy to forget, even if you regularly wear glasses.

And that's that glasses bend light.

Hold on! I'm not being sarcastic or getting super into a physics lesson or whatever!

But basically, depending on if you are near or far sighted (able to see better up close or far away respectively) your lenses will be shaped differently to bring things into focus. Specifically, if you can't see up close (or need to see even closer up close, like with magnifying glasses) the lens is convex, which is basically just saying the glass bubbles up in the middle/focal point rather than concave (indenting towards the focal point).

This is why you have shots of people with those ridiculous headgear magnifying glasses for whatever eccentric shit they're doing and their eyes are like... Massive.

It's literally magnifying on both ends and this is generally what reading glasses do (though not as dramatically as this skit here).

But if you can't see well far away (and slowly but surely far ends up being not very far away at all if you're like me and unlucky like that), it makes your eyes seem smaller by increasing increments based on prescription. Which generally seems to be the case in anime shows where 'secretly pretty glasses protag removes glasses to reveal the most beautiful eyes, luscious lashes, and intense gaze you've ever seen' or whatever.

Where am I going with this?

Well, much like a lot of my own traits, I gave Nikia my shitty ass eyesight as well (and is the inspiration for Oh Sweet Child of Mine's bad eyesight as well by the way).

I haven't really illustrated this well because honestly it's hard to keep track of and looks goofy irl anyway if you focus on it too much. But her eyes definitely look pretty small compared to how they actually should be. Combined with a resting bitch face with naturally lowered eye lids, it's quite shocking to actually see her eyes clearly.

And where am I going with this all, really?

Well, for quite a while after their first meeting, Thatch makes several assumptions (as does Izou but he'll never admit it).

Mainly at first that she's a young man (got that nonbinary, vaguely masculine vibe about her). Then, after a short bit, that she's super cold and perhaps a bit bitchy and strict. She's a good host, but definitely more about safety than actual, warm hosting like most others on her home islands. Not helped by the static, standoffish expression she wears, eyes just deep set enough to be mostly shadow in the firelight where her glasses don't catch the reflection.

He does work through her awkwardness enough to recognize her actual traits and ends up a little (a lot) obsessed. Izou being a good sounding board and reminding him that not everyone is bitey bastards and that genuinely well meaning but awkward people still exist.

And then.

One day he gets a little smile from her and it's basically that. Face lit up with delight and Thatch (and Izou watching in great interest) are hit from several directions all at once.

Darkened, colorless eyes bright and pale blue like a winter sky. Lips curled into a small, somewhat awkward smile that clearly struggles to not be a flash of teeth with delight. Not the most dramatic expression, but so clearly happy it floors them both.

They know her fairly well at this point. But it's that somewhat hesitant smile that seals everything in place for them. Stamped into their heart with a soft, throaty chuckle.

[winderlylandchime]

The man is back and better than ever (well kinda but whatever). So here I come with 2x08 and 2x09 but tumblr sucks so this is 1/2, anyway. He got into the house took his pills, immediately went out on a smoke and screamed to me ‘he was right! Who the fuck made that rule about smoking in hospitals?!’ Came back and said ‘cmon loser!’ He silently groaned for 5 minutes until the locker room scene and yelled ‘BRIAN YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU!’ He is now watching Mikey and Ben and goes ‘*loud groan* for the love of Beyoncé, please tell me this dude isn’t THIS boring the whole time? If his whole thing is Buddha and HIV, i am gonna hate it here’ cut to the club scene ‘JUSTIN YOU BEAUTIFUL RASCAL! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! of course my boy can spot a rolex the second he sees it! Attaboy!’…’OH BEN IN A CLUB? Maybe he isn’t boring! *ben takes his shirt off* what a whore, i like it *raises his soda as a cheers*’ and now the introduction scene happened and he almost had a stroke ‘Well of course he’s positive, he studied Buddha and all that crap. And you just complimented him so obviously he’s happy, why are you so bitc- *pauses the ep and is silent for a sec* YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU MEAN POSITIVE AS IN HIV?! HOW DOES THAT AFFECT ANYTHING YOU FUCKI- AND WHY IS THAT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS TO TALK YOU LITTLE DWEEB!…*looks at the paused tv*…Justin looks really good in that jersey’ ‘okay Mel is funny sometimes..but dude we don’t throw food on the ground..damn it, i like her at times but she’s so bitchy sometimes but the feminist in me is saying she has the right for it but like she’s just so *blows a raspberry* at times’ and we are now at the diner scene and he is STRESSED! This man is ready to fight ‘Ted..dude, shush. I get it, the year is 2001..2?3? Wait is this before the towers? Whatever, the year is early and you are scared but listen to me *snaps his fingers at paused ted on screen* i am from the future and we are alright! I mean most of us..some of us…okay so like a group of us are good..you know what? The world sucks but like we’re dealing with it, there’s always a tomorrow, now calm the fuck down bc you are stressing me out…plus doesn’t vic have hiv? Someone call Deb to smack ted bc i am only one man’ And now Deb is up and im not prepared for whats going to happen, it’s like witnessing a train crash ‘exactly Deb! Tell him he has a shitty attitude, smack him for me please. tell them Deb! why does she look like she just ate dog shit? Well i mean it is a lot to hear since its like 200early’ oh sweet summer child. I will say he was pleasantly surprised that Brian was silent and not assholey. ‘Who the fuck has clowns in their home? Deb this is weird even for you. Why can’t she talk to Vic? *pauses the ep* vic my boy, I’ll talk to you. These bitches *holds up the dvd with the cast on it* have me stressed out of my fucking mind. Anyway continue, man’ i would like everyone to know at this point i am holding my breath preparing for the crash.

WELCOME BACK DEAR SWEET ANON AND BROTHER ANON! You’ve been missed.

Literally loling from the start about Brian being right about smoking and hospitals. (Someone should tell Brian and your brother about oxygen tanks)

I love how he sees how BORING Ben is but definitely is protective of Ted’s shitty moment of disclosing his serostatus and warning Michael off of him. And then the total letdown with “Doesn’t Vic have HIV?” and “who the fuck has clowns in their home?” OUR MAN HAS A VERY GOOD POINT.

And yes… the crash. Let’s get to that…

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Smol, Ask Game - Yakuza I'm curious

So. Full disclosure. I've only played Kiwami and 0, and am like...most of the way through Kiwami 2? So any knowledge I have of the rest of the franchise is via Tumblr and reading Majima's Wiki page (that's how I got here) So do bear with me lol.

3 male characters I love: To the shock of no one, Goro Majima. RGG really just made The Best Fictional Character Ever and just use him less and less huh I KNOW a lot of the characterisation came LONG after the first 6 games but IT STILL STANDS. Also also, Akira Nishikiyama. I know I've been more stuck on him recently but he's shoved his way to the front of my brain, but I still love Majima. They are both my boyfriends <3. Now hmmm, who gets the third spot....I know he was around for MUCH less time than I thought he would be, but I'm gonna say Homare Nishitani. He's a fucked up horny freak, he's just ACTUALLY a mad bastard and he loves it and I love him for it. I genuinely wish we got to fight him more it also makes fic more difficult cause I'm like 'wait when can he show up how does Sunshine fit in WHAT IS THE TIMELI-'. He's great, even though that first fight was very fucking bitchy.

3 female characters I love: Bold of you to assume there's more than 3 characters for me to pick from. Nah but uhhhh, can we count Yuko Nishikiyama when all my love for her is basically based on my own personal headcanons and interpretations? Let's call her a bonus option. Obviously Makoto Makimura, like I don't think I need to explain that do I? I think I also have to go withhhh.... Hibiki-chan and Yuki-chan. The fucking LORE IMPLICATIONS of Goromi's dress being a custom-made pink-snakeskin version of Hibiki's outfit?? And she was probably one of the most in love with him, idk she's just very sweet I love her. And Yuki is so cringefail but she thinks she's girlboss, I love that. Honestly I love all the Sunshine girls, more importantly I love the 'spares', yknow, the Golds and Silvers and Bronzes but I've mentioned that before, I should give them their own post.

3 romantic ships I love: Good morning Majimako nation :) It's a ship that brings me nothing but pain in canon and I love them so much, so thank God for fic writers vbhjnbhjn. I say canon brings me pain but they're just so cute and they understand each other's pain in a way others can't and it's like...all Majima had to do was give her closure, yknow? There's such a tragedy to it but I love them all the same. Also shoutout to the 7 other Majinishiki shippers out there. Yes I just put my two favourite beautiful men together. But the more I think about it the more I'm like "oh but this could be SO GOOD" cause they're both assholes and would both dislike each other and reckon they're polar opposites, which they appear to be on the surface, but they're more similar than they think and the idea of them learning that and being like "oh wait a minute....oh hang on...". They could be fun and funny and beautiful and hot so yeah, I've gotten real into it lol. Now....you know, I could pick the obvious, but it's time to push another agenda: Majima x Dolly. Yep. As in Doll Girl's mum. Look her kid has already decided he's her new dad, why not make it official? I just think Dolly is super cute, she's one of my favourite girls, and idk man it's really cute even though 0 content exists gvbhnjbhjn

3 platonic dynamics I love: Yuki and Majima's sibling bond means the world to me. Two cringefail weirdgirls who take turns being weird. Like one does something weird/stupid and the other is like "bro what the fuck is wrong with you" but then they switch and it's a constant bickering back and forth but you can tell it comes from a place of affection, and at the end of the day they do have each other's backs. Speaking of siblings, Nishiki and Kiryu. Yeah took my time bringing up the fuckin' protagonist didn't I? For all my Complicated Feelings towards Kiryu, his brotherly connection to Nishiki is clearer in 0 than it is in Kiwami, but when it's there it's there, man. These boys have each other's backs, they're the closest family they have, and seeing it fractured so tragically is heartbreaking. I wish they had more Heat Actions but the one they do have is delightful. OH, sorry, I had to take a minute irl to think of another platonic dynamic and I remembered: Kiryu and Rina. Yeah, the lesbian hostess from Kiwami who got the job to look at cute girls! The one who told Kiryu he can be wooed by men if he wants and he told her to not judge girls on such a binary femme/butch scale (well, 'cute/not cute'). I loved going to chat with her, they're really sweet and fun. Genuinely quite heartfelt conversations and I'm surprised how like...idk, progressive their chats are? It's sweet.

3 favorite moments in canon: This is actually very tricky to me, I've never really thought about ranking moments. Like, the games are a matter of 'vibing vibing vibing do some substories that give us some fun Kiryu characterisation do some plot I don't understand or particularly care for HOLY SHIT SUDDENLY IT'S REALLY GOOD AND THERE'S SOME GOOD CHARACTER/REALLY FUCKING COOL ACTION SCENES vibing vibing vibing' In no particular order:

The bit where Nishiki fuckin shanks Matsushige. I KNOW his psyche is shattering before our very eyes, I KNOW it's him well and truly crossing the line but like....Goddamn. I cannot have stated multiple times I find it to be his pinnacle of beauty and NOT include it, surely.

The entire Goromi interaction. What starts as a joke quickly just becomes a very heartfelt, honest chat between the two characters, and gives us a very welcome insight into Majima and what she's like when she's not wearing the Mad Dog mask. The cowards should give us a Goromi dating game.

Oh it's GOTTA be Majima's introduction, right? I feel like I can't be a Majima or Yakuza fan and not mention his intro in 0. Just the shot of those iconic shoes, seeing how he handles the whole customer conflict and faces it with such humility and grace and showmanship ALL WHILST HATING IT???? BUT MAINTAINING THAT COMPOSURE AND HAVING FUN FUCKING WITH HIM WHERE HE CAN???? Holy hell. Does the bit where he learns Essence of Blade Biting count tho because that's a favourite for a DIFFERENT reas-. (But also his intro in Kiwami was my actual introduction to him and I fell in love with him then so *shrugs*)

3 favorite headcanons: How to narrow it down to just 3? Hmmm. Actually now I think about it suddenly Every Headcanon I've Heard Has Vanished gvbhnjmbhjn. I'm not very good at making my own or ranking them so uhhhhh. Okay okay:

Trans man Kiryu is canon in my head. Idk man it just feels right.

OH I REMEMBER!! So I don't give a FUCK what canon says, too many people tower over Kiryu for him to be 6 foot. So my actual height headcanons are that Nishiki is 5' 8" (good height) and Kiryu is 5' 10", whereas Majima gets to remain his full 6' 1" glory, however, he slouches a fair amount so people sometimes people forget how fucking tall he is, so when he straightens to his full height people are like oh FUCK. These heights also mean that Nishiki, Who Is Not Short, looks quite small compared to the two men lmao

Sure he's willing to hide in empty trashcans, giant traffic cones and potholes to get the jump on his Kiryu-chan, but Majima actually can't stand being dirty. (1 year of constant torture probably does that to you) He has about 10 different products in his bathroom, a very thorough and regular hair-and-skincare routine. Probably has a floral or citrussy undertone hiding under the smell of smoke, sweat and blood he usually has.

3 least favorite things about it: *sighs*. Okay: 1. Its treatment of female characters. See Exhibit A) Yuko. As we introduce more female characters I fear it'll only get worse. And the thing is, I quite like the women we get!! They just Keep Being The Same!!! Like can I have something beyond Hostess/Bar Employee Who Is Nice To Kiryu and preferably DOESN'T die with little fanfare or just get written out? Makoto probably got out of this the best but even then, not really imo?? She still had her agency taken from her in that last choice. Idk man that's the crux of it ain't it, these women having little agency beyond how to serve the men in the story.

2. I Do Not Care For These Main Plots. By that I mean I am FAR less interested in these bits of political intrigue/conspiracy and plot twists about who works for who because I simply forget who half of these cunts are and I don't actually care. I care about the relationships between the characters, which granted is a more personal taste, but it always feels like....they have something there, and they kinda know it? But not enough to give it the rich and in-depth exploration it deserves because it'd rather throw a twist my way that someone's actually Korean or something about Jingu. (NO SERIOUSLY WHO THE FUCK IS JINGU WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN KIWAMI?!?!?) It leads to Substory Kiryu and Main Story Kiryu being two different men in my head, and I much prefer one over the other

3. Kinda related to the treatment of female characters but like. The softcores. The telephone club minigame. The catfight club. MesuKing. Please stop. They're not sexy, they're not fun, they're just really uncomfortable. It doesn't help that the girl in the background for telephone club game is the fucking same but with a different bikini colour like would it KILL yall to get some body diversity?? Actually if you did that the joke would be she's fat and ugly hahahahaha so funny I loooove this I'm Having Fun Playing the game alongside bae and/or bestie honestly makes it more uncomfy, but watching softcores on my own for the sake of a substory somehow feels sadder. We started fuckin' reviewing them lmaooooo like "Okay THAT'S a pretty tasteful and sexy pose, I'll use that for ref. And now I don't know what she's doing. Please stop looking at me like that" etc etc. Basically anytime the game tries to offer me a 'sexy surprise' or a minigame with tits in it I'm just very uncomfortable. I visited that catfight club ONCE for the uh. Wait which Billionaire was it? GAMBLING KING!! Yeah him and then I never went back because why the hell would I, this is MesuKing But Even Worse. So yeah. Please stop. (I feel like they won't)

That was very long and rambly and probably more in-depth than ya wanted/expected, I'm sure others just write their faves and leave it at that lol. Despite my little experience with the franchise overall and my many issues and criticisms, I do actually quite like this franchise so far. By that I mean my brain has decided to adore Two Characters so I have a feeling I know what games will be my faves overall lol.

HOWEVER I'm actually really looking forward to playing 3 because it's got Mine in it and I've heard it's good, 4 gives us my boy Saejima who I'm excited to learn more about (and Akiyama?? I think?? Idk I'm pretty sure he sings Baka Mitai in 5 aka The Best Version of The Song). 5 introduces us to a Ms Mirei Park and BEFORE YOU ALL START: I'm reeeeally looking forward to making my own judgement because she's SO divisive as a character I cannot help but be fascinated. Ooh same with Yasuko in 4. I think I'm gonna like her, but I might not. Who knows?

And of course from the Entire Hour we played of 7 I already love Ichiban and I think he's gonna be my best friend ever, what a cutie. I'll even sit through turn-based combat for his sake (I KNOW SOME OF YALL LIKE IT AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU I'VE JUST NEVER BEEN INTO JRPGS THE CLOSEST I'VE GOTTEN WAS POKEMON MOON WHICH I NEVER FINSIHED BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME)

Anyway uh. Hope yall enjoyed my ramblings lol

[chaotic-orphan]

This is so interesting to me, because I’m kind of in the Whump writing community, but definitely more of a reader and fan of it and I have seen a couple posts go off on rants about the gender of Whumpee’s and Whumper’s and how it impacts the response they get from their audience…

So I am a straight girl, and most of my favourite Whumpee’s are men, right? I think it’s fair to say that the first option applies to me.

I have seen a couple posts now about how authors in the Whump community write women Whumpee’s it’s not as well received, and not only engagement wise, like they get more negative feedback on the piece than they would if the whumpee was a man. Which is interesting to me.

Especially because of this poll! Because as of right now the majority of people who enjoy Whump are aroace? Or aro/ace. Which is wild. I knew there was a big presence of aro/ace people in the Whump community, but maybe it’s just because I’m straight I assume everyone is like me because it’s my experience. (You can give out if you want, it’s human to assume please don’t crucify me) Like obviously it’s not a thing of attraction to Whumper’s or Whumpee’s (in my opinion at least) but there is just something so magnetic about Whump writing?

And obviously the joke of “I just want a boy tied up in basement” going around is fucking hilarious to me, like same, but then at the same time it’s like— why don’t I just want a girl tied up in my basement? Maybe because it sounds a bit too real? Like serial killerish and almost fetishised in the real world. Maybe if we wrote women Whumpee’s it would be just a tad too real. Too on the nose that our escapism would turn into a rabbit hole of morality and pondering real world problems.

I don’t know why to me, but it’s just so much more interesting I guess is the word when Whumpee’s and Whumper’s are both male?

I am 100% speaking for myself in this entire rant so forgive me for it, but I especially love @whumblr ‘s Zayne and Jay’s Whump dynamic it’s so tense and scary and beautifully written, but now I’m like… what if Nate was a girl? Would Zayne be so cruel? So brutal? So creepy? More creepy? Like is it just the fact that we can take off a male whumpee’s shirt off and have him whipped til he cries… so we don’t have to do the extra step of taking off a bra because that would be labourious to the narrative?

And also I love @painsandconfusion ‘s Nate and Ethan series Whumping the Whumper’s. The raw emotional vulnerability of the pair in this series is so real and so guttural. Like Ethan is still pissed at Nate for being his Whumpee before, and so closed off while Nate is this inquisitive, intrusive bastard wanting to get that vulnerability and fear he once had off of Ethan. One of my favourite parts of this series however (SPOILERS IF I WERE YOU I WOULD JUST GO READ IT NOW AND I AM GOING TO WARN YOU THAT YOU SHOULD JUST READ IT BECAUSE IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE PAINANDCONFUSION WHUMP——)

.

.

.

.

But one of my favourite parts of the series is seeing Nate interact with a female Whumpee and he is so gentle and friendly with her, still horrifying and sadistic, but different… and it is just as engaging as Nate and Ethan’s dynamic.

The golden rule of writing is write what you want to read/ write what you know, what series has you in a chokehold. What dynamics? What genre. So clearly if all we see is male whumpee/male whumper dynamics, then writers are going to be like: oh fuck yeah I want to write a dynamic of whumper/ whumpee boys that just go at it and tear skin from bone— but also have this intricate relationship and emotional rollercoaster attached to it.

Maybe in another world we are feral for female whumpee/whumper dynamics, or maybe I just haven’t fully branched out into female whumper/whumpee dynamics — which I think has a lot to explore, where it’s not just cat fights and ripping each other’s hair out and bitchy like how women are portrayed in media when things get violent.

Anyways, excuse the rant, this poll just had my brain thinking actual thoughts that I wanted to share. . .

I’m curious about the overlap (or lack thereof) in romantic/sexual orientation and whumpee preferences. So:

[thigholstercas]

March & April

hi :) I don't know where this two months went but here are some more fics I read (and a cute little banner). as I said in the last one, this list includes drabbles or ficlets, even poems, that I read here because fic writers should also be praised when they only write a couple of lines. on another note, you should go throughout the deancaspinefest fics and the deancasreversebang fics, and spnpoetryrenaissance, I listed some here, but you should take a look to the others. remember to give kudos, leave comments or just let fic writers know you love their work. it's a long list so it'll be under the cut

the coffee kissing crisis (4.6k, GA) by FallenAngelOfThursday @pointyearedelvishprincling

I’m just gonna share what I thought the second I finished it (yeah I took note off that)

Aoife!!!! They are dumbasses but they really love each other. The last paragraph...THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. Dean is sleepy and kisses Cas after he gives him coffee. Some time later he freaks out. Cas talks to the bees 🐝 ♥. (Honestly just read everything Aoife has written )

sequitur (23.4k, E) by butterflyslinky

The pain...of Dean grieving...is horribly good. They changed the ending (you’ll understand when you read it). Freaking good!!! Cas is also awkward during sex, is so cute.

The Legend of the White Light (50k, E) by EllenOfOz

Purgatory my beloved <3 I literally read the first chapter and my first thought was "this is so fucking cool". Cas and Dean's pov. For me the first half is the best (purgatory) and then is mostly in canon for all season 8, up to the crypt scene. I'd read this again just for purgatory.

heal me with (3k, T) by ilovehowyouletmefall

Cas comes back from the Empty during the call from 15x19, but he's dying. Dean's soul reaches for him. So nice. Sam getting angry at Cas is so funny for me personally.

Samson went back to bed (9.7k) by piesexuality @twoheadedcas

Look I probably wouldn’t read it again because I swear I cried a lot, but at the same time it was so good. Cas is a selfish bastard and erases everyone's memories about Mary. No kidding, so fucking freaking painful but good. (art from @citruscas for it)

Desideratum and other mishaps (28k, T) by thefandomsinhalor

I thought that it was so sweet. Instead of Dean using the pear, Jack uses it and let´s just say things don’t go as planned. Sam is the bitchy brother. Cas is a dad!!!! Dean is a dad too!!! 

with this stab I thee wed (9k,T) by TheSilverQueen

Adore how it is written. It starts the moment Cas is fighting demons to rescue dean from hell, it ends with them married, really nice.

What's already mine (2.1k, T) by elephantsinthestars @blanketforcas

I swear I’m not putting this one here because I love her. This is just really beautiful. Cas learns to love his body and something something about loving yourself first before being with someone else.

the closer the star, the greater the parallax (8.7k, E) by kettleknight

Cas shows and explains to Dean how he rescued him from hell. I don’t know how to explain how much this fic changed me as person..

Okay, you should also read some of these:

divine by @bixlasagna

nothing but this by @buglovescas

castiel’s guide to loving a human by @redleavesinthewind

Dean x Cas: a prayer for a prayer by @faithdeans

Dean overthinking “[...] the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you" by @mishacollinsthighsss

about a boy by @universalcas  

cas trails his fingers across dean’s chest by @angelscas

To Dean Winchester, 1995 (tw sexual abuse) by @jactingjoices

my faith is shaken, but I still believe by @interrogatethecat (last minute addition)

I re-read these ones and I think they deserve to be here:

The Mantra (3k, GA) by amirosebooks

“You're safe, you're home, I got you”, this one is so soft, is pretty much about Cas and Dean taking care of each other.

Damn You Auto Correct! (8.3k, E) by Chiyume

Porn without plot but I like it, Dean can´t talk cuz’ he's sick. 

What to do when a good man hurts you (8k, T) by @fellshish

Dean thinks that the way he'll stop the empty for taking Cas is telling him he hates him and every bad thing he can think. Turns out it doesn't work...angst okay a lot of angst. But there´s a happy ending.

Alright this is already too long, I read so much more, but I can’t put them all here, anyway give all your love to writers <3

[cangrellesteponme]

Hmm…maybe #7-12 for a fic of your choosing? 📚

i'm going to be answering these for Howl :)

7: Which character gave you the hardest time writing correctly?

I think no one's surprised to hear that it was, of course, Vanitas. Part of the process of writing Howl was about figuring out what major character flaw could/would/does negatively impact their desired/future/current relationships, so writing Vanitas was hard because I could very easily name over ten, each one as terrible as the next. I kind of had that problem with Domi too, but it all comes back to her being too giving (and her characteristic absence of self), so I easily focused on that aspect (and of course the fic was initially only her part, so i already had a lot of inspiration for her). With Vanitas though... the multifaceted bastard man doesn't ever show the same flaw twice. It was so hard I almost gave up on his part, but ended up just taking a break from it, writing Jeanne's part, and coming back to it. In the end I just went for the "bitter bitch who observes the misery of others and refuses to look at how to get his own shit together" angle, which is something I consider to be a major character trait and flaw Vanitas regularly exhibits, but you can disagree with me on that one.

12: What are some aesthetics/images you often associate with your fic?

Okay, I think anyone who has ever read anything I've written might notice the severe lack of background descriptions. The thing is I write about feelings a lot but I'm not actually fond of the Romanticism movement (think of me as Flaubert, if you will- I know how to do it but I'd rather make fun of it), so I see no point in talking about the environment unless I want to paint a very clear image for the reader- which I don't do a lot, as it would actually undermine my work because I write a lot about confusion, and hazes, and identity crises, and uncertainty... So no full backgrounds in text.

BUT I'm an artist still, of COURSE i have TONS of imagery in my head as I write. And the ones for Howl... delightful.

(This is going to be very long.)

Chapter one, aka dominoé and the bedroom of infinite sexual tension

I didn't take a look at Dominique's actual bedroom while I was writing, so I really just imagined Noé, with his monochrome look (though at this point he's barely dressed), on a red bed, in a red room, plunged in the obvious representation of Domi's feelings yet unaware and unaffected, which would be represented by the lighting which obviously clashes with the intended colour of the room. Basic symbolism aside, I often imagine dominoé interactions with warm, domestic, indoors aesthetics (and a whole lot of red for obvious reasons) so I really just want to give them all the soft beds in the world.

Chapter two, aka Vanitas trying real hard to out-stupid Dominique

The aesthetic is just that one "Mal D'Amour" episode (don't ask me why i remember that name, i don't even know. isn't the english name the incurable disease or something??). It's one of my favourites, of course it haunts me.

Imagine grumpy, frowning, bitchy Vanitas on a double date in the beautiful streets of Paris, just staring at Domi while Noé and Jeanne desperately try to get his attention. All of this with that episode's vibe. Peak comedy, and Vanitas is a whole clown.

(no pics because i cannot be bothered to get screenshots of this one. you've seen the episodes.)

Chapter three, aka Jeanne, haunted by love (and homophobia tbh)

So yeah the general vibe was "no thoughts only Jeanne".

No, seriously, since the whole point of that chapter was Jeanne going "if i think hard enough about how embarrassing vanitas's whole existence is, i can forget how i'm also hopelessly in love with dominique", the whole vision was Jeanne turning and tossing around in her bed in the middle of the night, red in the face, absolutely haunted by the horrors of love. There could've been more of an aesthetic, but I'm gay, and all I had was blushing maiden Jeanne.

Isn't she so pretty though?

Chapter four, aka Noé being very lovely and a little silly

Noé and Jeanne are having a coffee frienddate but by the end of the date the friend part is questionable ngl. Need I say more?

and yeah, that's it for my silly rambling, have a nice day

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 11 “VoiceFarting” [Episode List] Tim and Adam are hanging out on... Liscord, playing some stuff together, waiting for Dave to join them for a game. When Adam unexpectedly has to leave however, Dave decides to do some… microphone testing.

VoiceFarting

“I’m going in as a mage ‘cause you fuckers can’t cast for shit” I heard Adam say right into my ears.

This was one of our usual game nights. We’d voice chat on Liscord on our own server and all that stuff. Adam was being, for the lack of a better term, kind of bitchy, ‘cause he thinks as himself as the most skilled gamer around even though we’re always reviving his ass. In the end it’s all in good fun of course, but we’d all happily mute him during a match if we could.

“Yes, Adam. Have fun with the ‘easy mode’ character.” I said, deliberately baiting him.

“Listen here you little shit” he immediately blurted “I can accept that you’re gay but I’m not going to accept the fact that you’re a scrub.” he said, obviously joking, though he did take skills seriously during a match.

“Yeah yeah but I’m the one using the axe, fighting enemies face-to-face like a man.” I kept teasing him. “How’s going up there? Still casting light arrows from your safe space?” I cackled.

“Excuse me???” his icon lighting up, the audio clipping “Why don’t we check your stats instead? Too afraid of looking like the scrub you are??? I literally made no mistakes last time.”

“Of course you didn’t: the chance of making mistakes is like 0% when you stand still and far from the battle.”

There was a moment of silence, then I heard Adam’s breath into the mic “You know I know where you live, right?”

I laughed but before I could continue this very deep and mature battle of wits, we both heard the sound notifying us that our bud Dave joined the voice chat. Now, whenever Dave joins, we usually hear every sound except for his voice, so we were ready to have our ears busted because of the noi-

“Hey noobs!” Dave greeted us, with a voice that was instead crystal clear.

“What the hell” both me and Adam said, our avatars lighting up at the same time.

“I see you noticed that you can now hear my beautiful voice perfectly.” he bragged, and rightfully so.

Normally we could hear his PC’s fans, what was going on down the street, cars passing by, atoms crashing into each others… farts. But now it was just Dave with his now-soothing voice calling us names.

“Are you finished?” Adam said.

But there was no response from Dave.

“Did he finally die?” Adam continued.

I heard a faint sigh of relief from Dave and then he went “Yeah, now I’m finished.”

I kind of suspected what happened but I didn’t say a word.

“Wait. You didn’t hear a thing?” Dave asked, puzzled.

Both me and Adam shrugged as if he could see us, but then said that no, we didn’t.

My detective skills told me that my gassy straight bud ripped one of his classic loud farts, but the new microphone had that “background noise reduction” feature (which my friend seriously needed) so it didn’t register his ass-blast as the old one usually did, so much so that Dave’s frequent farts would eventually turn into white noise for the rest of us. But now, his new headset was actually worth the price and all we could hear was indeed his voice.

“Can we just get into the game befo-“ Adam blurted, but was cut off mid-sentence by a loud, ear-piercing sound coming from Dave, though that wasn’t him speaking or screaming.

My fartbro really didn’t want us to miss what his ass is capable of, so we were both startled by a powerful, audio-clipping fart that completely overwhelmed our voice begging him to stop. And he did stop, but only after like 12 seconds. The rip was followed by the sound of Dave re-adjusting his microphone and laughing. “Hopefully you heard that now.” he chuckled.

I did hear it. I was very familiar with it. Truth is that Dave farting during our game sessions wasn’t anything new however. Even I was used to it, though that did pitch a tent in my shorts. I started wondering whether Dave was in jeans, shorts or boxers. Probably the latter, and shirtless, given that it was a warm evening. I tried to not to let my usual simp-ness over my bro take over me but apparently it was already too late, as I didn’t even notice Adam begin pissed off about an unwanted phone call.

“I’m sorry guys, I gotta take this one.” he said, annoyed. “Do not wait for me. Cya tomorrow I guess.”

And logged off, another sound notifying us that he went into the terrible real world realm.

“Alone at last, bro.” Dave said, in a flirty tone, just as Adam left.

I laughed and mindlessly switched to a different, this time single-player game as we needed at least 3 guys to play, one of those brutal action games that I suck at but I have to beat.

Dave did the same, with a similar game, and we both started gaming on our own but keeping each other company, like we usually do, occasionally exchanging opinions on what we were playing and so on.

“It’s probably his ex-girlfriend” Dave said.

“Yeah. I figured.” I simply answered.

Adam wasn’t really talkative about his personal stuff like me or even Dave, so neither us really knew what was going on. But if our bud didn’t want us to know, not fully know at least, then we respect this decision.

After a couple of more minutes of silence, I heard some sounds coming from Dave. Not a fart, this time though.

“Did you say something?” I asked.

I heard some muffled noises and then Dave’s voice, lower than usual though “I’m just messing with the settings here. I feel like sometimes the volume gets messed up.” and he was right.

“Yeah the audio is kind of low now.” I warned him.

I heard some more noises (keyboard tapping, mouse clicking, etc.) and then I heard him speak again.

Or, to be more precise, he did make a sound with his mouth, though those weren’t words; a loud belch, actually, right into my ears. Dave was more of a farter, but he wasn’t new to wild, incredible burps. I honestly prefer the more disgusting butt explosion, but I still tip my hat at my bro being a masterful air-bender from both ends.

“Yes, I did hear that.” I said, anticipating his question.

He laughed. “Thank you.” he answered, belching both word with care.

A couples of minutes of silence followed, with just me and Dave occasionally chatting but overall trying to be focused on our respective games. My straight bro was however not done with the “testing”.

“Are you hearing this bro?” he suddenly asked, trying not to laugh.

“No…?” I was puzzled.

“Wait. Let me just…”

I heard Dave removing his headset and as it got farther away from his head, a familiar sound got louder and louder instead, until it became unbearable.

“Are you hearing this now?” he shouted, though I could heard him over that sound.

The sound of yet another loud blast of gas, so loud it was glitching the audio. It was long and proud, dry as some of his best rips, and it just wouldn’t stop. The boss I was fighting somehow felt how distracted I was and one-shotted me with a swipe of his flaming sword but I couldn’t even hear any in-game sound ‘cause my straight gassy bro was basically farting right into my ears, albeit indirectly.

I instinctively reached for the pitched tent between my legs as the fart kept going strong and loud, so loud in fact that I had to lower the volume ‘cause my hears were starting to hurt.

After a grand total of 18 seconds, I once again heard Dave putting his headphones back on his head, wondering whether they were radioactive or melting at this point, due to all that poisonous gas.

“I gotta say… the sound quality is pretty spot-on. What headset are you using?” I joked.

Dave chuckled. “The same as yours actually. Thanks for the advice.”

We kept chatting a bit more as if he wasn’t a gassy teasing bastard but since he *is* a gassy teasing bastard I once again heard him, with no warning nor request from me, removing his headphones again and putting them (I assume) closer to the source of his underwear-clad ass.

Unsurprisingly, yet another manly, loud rip blasted through my own headphones right into my eardrums, renewing the hard-on I had only moments before. It sounded like a motorcycle passing by and I could only imagine how badly the stench was in Dave’s room. Lasting around 11 seconds, this time it got dangerously wet-ish towards the end, which I found hilarious but also made me rightfully worried about my bro maybe going a bit too far even for both of our standards.

“Dude.” I said, laughing a bit “You might want to go easy. That sounded risky.”

Dave, being the chill guy he is, just laughed about it. “Don’t worry, dude. I’m an expert.” and he ripped a short toot that was so loud I could even hear it without the microphone going straight into his butt this time.

We then kept gaming a bit more on our own. Dying over and over to that same boss made me think about how chill Dave was being -as usual- about my kink. I mean don’t get me wrong he always farted a lot while voice chatting but this time it was different, as he was now aware of my fetish. And, as always, I really appreciated that, just as I appreciated yet another thunderous blast, one that actually startled me, making me lose YET AGAIN.

“FUCK!” I blurted.

As the fart kept going, Dave moved the microphone closer to his face (but I still could hear the fart going) just to laugh at my gaming skills, completely aware however that his farts were a huge distraction on its own. He then planted the microphone once again in front of his butt and the blast went loud and proud.

“It’s just too easy.” he then chuckled, after finishing ripping that monstrous fart.

It was. I had to pause the game for a couple of minutes to calm down, the tent between my legs going harder and harder. Was Dave aware of this part as well? Of course he was, but he didn’t care. It was just a game for him, and he was constantly proving me how much of a pro gamer he was.

I hope he never gets nerfed.

End of Episode 11

[tommydarlings]

drivers license

pairing: Tom Holland x singer!reader

warnings: sad and heartbreaking again sry, swearing

w/c: 1.1k

Requests: CLOSED 

Summary: Tom and you were maybe young, but you were so in love with each other, right? 

Part 2 ? 

Music Video -> tap here

masterlist

„What do you mean Tom? Are you serious?“  I said while tears were streaming down my face.

„I´m sorry y/n, but we just don´t work out“ he said.

„I thought that you love me“ now i started to get angry.

„I loved you y/n, nothing is holding forever“

„You know what? Fine! It´okay!“

That was the first lie. It wasn´t okay.

„Without you i´m better anyway“

That was the second lie. I fucking need this man.

„When i walk out of this door, then were done!“ I yelled at him.

„Then go y/n“ he said with no expression on his face.

I couldn´t belive that this man, who want´s me out this house- no, out of his whole life, was my boyfriend.  

I grabbed my Jacket and my purse and went out the house.

---

While i was sitting in the Uber that i called a few minutes ago, i searched for money in the pockets of my jacket.

„Ah, Finally i found- what is that?“ I quietly asked myself.

I didn´t pulled out some money, no , i pulled out a paper with lines written on. Suddenly i realized what it was.

„O-oh m-my god“

It  was a short but romantic and lovely song that Tom wrote for me. I know, Tom was an actor and i was the singer in this Relationship, but i loved when he sang something to me or when we sang together. Tom was a really good singer!

Tears started to build up in my eyes as i read each line word for word carefully.

1 month later

I sat on my Couch in my new tiny Apartment while i was watching the news.

Today is my Birthday and i´m sitting at home watching the news while eating pizza… great y/n.

„Hello ladies and gentleman! And welcome to the daily news! Today we got very exciting news! Tom Holland got a new girlfriend!“

„WHAT!?“ i shouted after i heard the ´very exciting´ news.

„His new Girlfriend Lily and he are togheter for already nearly 1 month, could that maybe mean that he met up with Lily while he was in a Relationship with y/n y/l/n?“ said the Reporter with a grin into the camera.

„Bastard“ i murmed before i packed my things and drove to the Studio.

Tom Pov:

„I FUCKING SAW YOU AND HIM MAKING OUT LILY! DON´T EVEN TRY TO LIE TO ME!“ i yelled at my ´Girlfriend´.

„I have no idea what you saw Tom“

So she really wants to play dumb now?!

„You know what? Were over! Leave.“

With a sigh and an bitchy expression on her face she left.

„FUCK“ i shouted at myself before  i picked up my phone and looked trough it if i got any important messages. Suddenly a message from my Calender App popped up.

´Y/N BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY!!!´

„Shit“ i let out a loud sigh before i get into my car and drove to her house.

---

Knock Knock. That was the third time that i knocked on her door now, but nobody opened. Where else could she be?

„The Studio!“ i said to myself before i picked up the bouquet of flowers and drove to the Studio.

When i arrived there i went into the Studio and made my way to the Instruments room, where she´s always sitting on the Piano.

Suddenly i heard at tiny but beautiful voice singing.

y/n.

There she was, on a tiny stool infront of the Piano, singing with her angelic voice.

She just sang a few words that didn´t made any sense, but then she started to sing then lines that she wrote on a piece of paper that laid infront of her.

I got my drivers license last week,

Just like we always talked about,

´Cause you were so excited for me,

To finally drive up to your house,

But today i drove trough the suburbs,

Crying ´cause you weren´t around,

„Fuck, i fell so guilty that i left her and broke her heart“ I thought.

And you´re probably with that blonde girl,

Who always made me doubt,

She´s so much older than me,

She´s everything i´m insecure about,

The lines broke me. Because Lily was older than her. Lily was 22 while y/n just turned 18. Lily was blond. But Lily was never better than y/n, no one could replace her.

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs,

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

„Does she still love me?“ I whisperd quietly to himself.

 And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one,

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone,

 „Oh darling, please belive me when i tell you that i´m not okay“  I though.

 Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me,

 „So she found the song“ I whisperd.

 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street,

 „I´m s-so s-sorry darling“ now i started to cry. Fuck.

 And all my friends are tired,

Of hearing how much I miss you, but,

I kinda feel sorry for them

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah

Today I drove through the suburbs

And pictured I was driving home to you

 „You can visit me whenever you want darling“ I whisperd with tears in my eyes.

 And I know we weren't perfect,

But I've never felt this way for no one, oh,

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone,

I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me,

 „I mean every single word“ I whisperd to myself with a devasted voice.

 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street,

Red lights, stop signs,

I still see your face in the white cars, front yards,

Can't drive past the places we used to go to,

'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh),

 „Omg, she still loves me“ I though with a tiny smile on my face.

 Sidewalks we crossed,

I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing,

Over all the noise,

God, I'm so blue, know we're through,

But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh),

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one,

 „I´ve never felt this way too darling…“  I whisperd to myself.

 And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone,

'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me,

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street,

Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.

 And there i stood with a bouquet of flowers, tears in my eyes, and a broken heart and a guilty feeling, right behind the girl that i broke and still love.

 a/n: Hope you like this one! Should i make a part 2? My Requests are closed! ily,liz <3

 dt´s

@goodgirlgonetom @majo240820 @misshale21 @itstaskeen @pure-ghost

[jaskierswolf]

I don't mean to bother... but i am going through an exceptionally difficult time at the moment and was wondering if you had a piece of fluff tucked somewhere that I might be able to borrow? Your work is amazing and I love how you support everyone you interact with <3.

💖 My darling nonny! It is never a bother. I’m sorry you’re having such a bad time!  This turned out a little hurt/comfort with a fluffy ending but I hope it works for you love! Thank you very much for your kind words!! _______

One word. Sometimes one word was all it took. Over the years the criticism had become easier to handle. He knew deep down that it was his mistakes that helped him grow as a performer, writer and bard but it stung. He’d always reacted more violently to criticism than his peers at Oxenfurt. They were able to brush it off and move on but not Jaskier. Jaskier still thought about that one performance where he’d accidentally said ‘shit’ instead of ‘sit. That was years ago now but it haunted his nightmares and probably always would. These days he brushed off the bad reviews with a swear word or three and a sneer. He pretended that he was above all of that. They didn’t get to see how much it hurt.

He didn’t owe them shit.

It was such a stupid feeling. All the thug of a man had said was that he preferred the first song but in Jaskier’s mind it spiralled. What had been wrong with the second song? It was a song of aching heartbreak and  Jaskier had worked hard on the imagery and metaphors. It was, in his opinion, some of his finest work but they’d preferred the first piece. A short little drinking song he’d made up one night when he’d been completely off his head on ale that tasted like fucking horse piss.

He pulled the pillow tighter to his chest and let out a wordless scream. There were tears prickling in his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He was better than that.

“Jaskier?”

Fuck.

He wiped the snot from his nose and sat up in the bed. He should have known Geralt would find him. They were sharing a room after all. Geralt was standing in the doorway. He was scowling up a storm but Jaskier could see the concern hidden in Geralt’s lovely golden eyes. He always saw what the witcher tried to hide from the rest of the world. He sighed and pulled his knees up to his chin. “Hi.” He mumbled.

Geralt was across the room and on the bed in a heartbeat. His strong arms wrapped around Jaskier’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and let Geralt’s familiar warm, musky scent surround him, leather and horses. It shouldn’t have been a pleasant combination for a bard who’d grown up as a noble but it was Geralt, and Geralt was as far away from Lettenhove as possible. Perhaps that’s why he loved him so much. Even if Roach did stink half the time.

“Hmm.” He said as he buried his face in Geralt’s chest. Geralt’s hands were running through his hair in slow but steady caresses.

“They were wrong.” Geralt murmured and Jaskier felt a press of lips to his hair. He let a breathy laugh, he hadn’t even needed to tell Geralt why he was upset. Bloody bastard. Jaskier hated how well Geralt knew him some days.

“An opinion isn’t wrong.” Jaskier sighed as he snuggled closer into Geralt’s arms, frowning at the feel of the leather under his fingers. It was all well and good for slaying monsters but terrible for cuddling. “Off.” He prodded at Geralt’s chest.

Geralt let out a heavy sigh, dramatic enough to rival his own. He methodically removed his armour and then gestured for Jaskier to stand up. He huffed but did as his witcher asked. Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s forehead and then gently tugged his bright teal doublet off his arms. Geralt folded it neatly along with his armour and then laid down on the bed with wide arms.

Jaskier beamed and practically jumped into Geralt’s waiting embrace. He fell on top of Geralt chest in a flop before frowning. There was a lingering energy crawling under his skin and his heart was still fluttering in his chest. “Flip?” He grumbled and he heard Geralt’s low chuckle before the witcher rolled them over. Jaskier’s back hit the mattress  and he let out an undignified squeak.

Geralt loomed over him with a bloody smirk on his face. Jaskier glared up at him but his words of protest were muffled by Geralt’s lips on his. Jaskier groaned in frustration but it didn’t take long for him to relax under his lover’s affections. He let out a happy hum as Geralt’s lip moved along his jaw and he nipped at Jaskier’s neck.

“You were brilliant tonight, Jask.” Geralt murmured. “The song was beautiful.”

“Hmm.” Jaskier replied, not convinced.

“I like when you sing like that.” Geralt insisted as he let his weight fall onto Jaskier’s chest, snuggling up just like Jaskier had just moments before. Jaskier’s fingers immediately found Geralt’s soft silvery hair. He loved playing with Geralt’s hair almost as much as he enjoyed Geralt stroking his. There was something incredibly calming about gently running his hands through his lover’s hair. It was even better when Geralt really started to relax as there was something about his witcher mutations that meant that when he was extremely happy, he would purr. The soft rumbling in Geralt’s chest grounded Jaskier better than any song he could write. “There’s an understated beauty in the words. The bastards don’t appreciate that.”

Jaskier hummed as he gently pulled Geralt’s leather hair tie from his hair. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. They know shit all.” Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s chest through his shirt.

“Thank you, darling.” Jaskier sighed. There was still a heaviness in his heart but Geralt was there with him, and he was doing ok.

________

Tag list: @alwenarin @slythnerd @davidtennan-t @flippinfricks @awitchersbard  @innocentcinnamonpun @marvagon @elliestormfound @geraskier-trashh @panerato @moonysourenza @artistsfuneral @victorieschild @hailhailsatan @wherethewordsare @havenoffandoms @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @electricrituals @geralt-of-riviass (reminder you can be added/removed at any point)

[bibbykins]

At-Fault Acid Rain

Who is the clown that decided to write fight drabbles for no reason? Me? Oh, damn.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it and feel free to keep sending me questions about the soft yandere boys I love them!

Word count: 2.1k

Pairing: Soft Yandere! Jin x Reader (Scopophilic Affection drabble)

Summary: You and Jin did not fight often, you barely disagreed on anything, except for one big thing: your family. After a tense dinner with your family, and the shedding of your tears, Jin understands he needs to change his approach.

Alternatively: all the soft yandere boys go to mush during a fight the moment their darling starts to cry

The door was nearly ripped off its hinges as Jin opened it, passively aggressively, but still chivalrous, for you to give him the side eye as you stepped through the threshold of your shared apartment, "I'm sleeping on the fucking couch."  You seethed as you kicked off the pumps you wore.

"No, baby, let me." Sarcasm dripped from his tone as he followed suit while you fiddled with the zipper on your dress, "I obviously don't do enough for you, so I'll sleep on the couch." His tone was bitter to say the least.

You scoffed as your arms reached to get the damn dress off. You just wanted to shed this night off of your body. Your lovely lover thought it would be super wise to make underhanded verbal jabs at each and every member of your family until the entire dinner was eaten in silence before everyone even got their main course. 

Needless to say, you were mortified. Regardless of how shitty your family has been to you, you did still love them. You did still see them as family, even if they just saw you as a disappointment, now a bitchy gold-digging disappointment. You and Jin had bickered the whole way home about what was and wasn't called for as well as his motives behind his very thinly veiled insults to your family. Was he standing up for you or did he genuinely look down on your family? 

And by extension, did he look down on you?

You felt him pull the zipper down as your arms returned to your side, "How can you be so goddamn stubborn sometimes?" He muttered under his breath as he leaned down to try and kiss your neck, obviously hoping for makeup sex before a fight fully breaks out. You and Jin had been pretty good about not fighting, but when it came to the topic of your family, it was difficult, to say the least.

Jin despised your family very, very strongly. He was crazy about you, and crazy in general, so he hated anyone who made you feel like anything less than the goddess you are to him. You, on the other hand, still maintain a wry smile to your family's backhanded compliments. This drove him to the brink of insanity, resulting in his much harsher quips back to your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, and especially your parents. 

Overcome with love and an unwillingness to fight in risk of relenting, Jin always tried to have sex and deal with it then. 

Keyword: tried. You marched towards the room before his mouth could make contact and extinguish the angry fire in your body, "I would love it if you didn't touch me right now." You snapped as you put on a large t-shirt, deliberately choosing one you already owned instead of one of Jin's.

Taking notice of this, Jin found his libido drop and his irritation spike. How could you not understand he was on your side?! "I would love it if you could stop being mad at me for being honest during dinner about your shitty family!" You flinched at his volume when he crossed the threshold of the bedroom while you took off your jewelry.

You laughed humorously, "Honest or not, they don't need more fucking reasons to despise me anymore!" You shot back, "The way they looked at me tonight… I couldn't even eat!" You were beyond irritated that Jin couldn't see why you were angry, "The last time they looked at me like that was when I told them I wanted to major in Theatre!"

"Well, I ate just fine and the food was delicious." Jin clipped back as you slammed the earings on the nightstand

"Unbelievable." You murmured as you grabbed a pillow and brushed past the broad-shouldered man in the doorway.

Jin scoffed as he followed you, "I don't see why you still give a damn about what they think of you!" You pursed your lips and shook your head, "You're not a kid anymore, they're opinion shouldn't matter!" He tried to reason with you.

"Of course you don't get it." Your voice dropped lower, usually a signal to Jin to reel it in, but he was far too stubborn and confident he would win this fight.

"What does that mean?!" He challenged with all of his bravado as you patted the pillow against the armrest of the couch.

You whipped your head around to scrutinize his form, still suit clad with only the tie loosened, "You have no idea what it's like to be brought up with expectations so high and miss the mark so terribly, not only do you get shit on all the damn time, you aren't even given the decency of a chance to redeem yourself!" You were hurt, and Jin began to regret his big mouth, "Your parents love you and respect you and trust your judgement." Jin's jaw clenched, "My family loves me, yeah, but because it is expected of them, and they meet their fucking expectations unlike their creative mistake from a family of accountants!" You could hardly keep track of your words, "They love me but they don't respect me, not even enough to expect anything from me anymore!"

Jin knew he should've stopped but he couldn't stand the way you looked at him, and he wanted to be right, "I earned my parents respect!" He retorted, "You…!" He trailed off, having to reevaluate the very shitty and incorrect thing he was going to say, hoping you would just drop it.

When he saw the pain flash through your widened eyes, he wanted to crumble, "I…?" You waited expectantly, "What? I didn't earn their respect?" Your voice was eerily soft and Jin knew what it meant. You were going to cry. Your tears stung him like acid, dissolving his fight within seconds. You seldom fully cried, so when you did Jin saw red at the cause, but when the cause was him, which had only happened once before this, he spent weeks apologizing. You were his everything, the last thing he ever wants is to make you feel like anything less. Jim never won any of your arguments, though he likes to think he has once, but the moment you cry the idea of winning or loosing becomes insignificant.

Jin's eyes softened as he took a very tentative step towards you, "No, baby, I didn't mean-"

You held your hand up, effectively silencing him, "No, no, you're right, what have I done to earn their respect?" You shrugged and your voice shook as Jin stepped closer to you, "I have been nothing but respectful to them even while they spit on every accomplishment I've had, and when I finally bring home a boy, he makes them feel as small as they have made me feel and…" You inhaled shakily, as Jin braced himself, "And if that's what you think of them… what on Earth do you think of me?" Your voice cracked as the dam in your tear ducts shattered and you broke down into tears and Jin's stubborn resolve dissolved with it.

He engulfed you in a hug, despite your initial fight to put as much distance as possible between you both. With his strength your efforts were fruitless physically, but affected him emotionally as he held you firmly against him until you gave up. You cried into his chest, undoubtedly getting mascara all over his very expensive dress shirt as he held you close, stroking your hair, "I think that of them because they are cowards." His tone was softer, "I think that you, on the other hand, are the most courageous and passionate person I know." 

"You're just saying that because I'm crying." You hiccuped as you gripped his shirt.

He laughed shortly, "I'll admit that I hate to see you cry, Leopard." You relaxed a bit against the nickname, "But I mean it." He kissed the top of your head, "I just get so fucking angry when I see those bastards looking down on you, like they all wanted to do fucking math for a living, like they weren't just too cowardly to follow their own fucking dream, so they channel all their self hatred onto my beautiful fianceè, who doesn't need a boy to make her look better when compared to a family full of idiots." He swayed you both back and forth as you caught your breath, "I think the world of you, fuck, you are my world." You sniffled, relaxed against his form as he swayed, "I'm sorry I was an asshole and most importantly," He cupped your face to look at you, "I'm sorry I made you think for a second that I think of you as anything less than the person I admire the most." Your eyes softened as he wiped the stray tears from your cheeks with his thumbs.

"Ugh, Jin," You groaned into his chest, "Why are you so good with words?" You sighed, leaning into his touch, "I'm sorry I freaked out, I really don't give too much of a shit what you say to them, but I'm just so used to them being the standard for perfection and so I just thought that if you think they suck, then I really must be nothing more than a pretty face to you." You shifted your gaze to the floor, uncomfortable spilling your insecurities after a fight.

"Are you kidding?!" Jin's tone demanded your attention, "I think you're a goddamn magician with the shit you can do for sets and for screen plays, your mind is fantastic and your personality lights up my life!" 

"Jin-"

"I love you so much, you are beautiful, yeah, but you're also intelligent, strong, hardworking, clever, fearless-" Jin's gushing was cut short by your lips smashing onto his in a kiss he quickly melted into. His hands went to your waist as he pulled you flush against him and massaged your mouth with his own.

You both pulled away to catch your breaths, "I love you too, you obnoxious, crazy, and stubborn man." You huffed against his mouth, "Thank you for standing up for me, babe, but just wait till we finish eating next time, hm?" 

Jin nodded before pressing a quick kiss to your lips, "Now that's how you compromise." He grinned, "To make up for it, I'll make you your favorite, since my poor little Leopard didn't eat." You smiled before stealing another kiss, "Also I feel terrible for making you cry, so I'll get started." He chuckled lightly.

Before he could pull from your embrace, you pulled him in for another kiss as you stood on your tippy toes, "Darling?" You nuzzled your nose onto his as he hummed in question, his knees weakening, as you gripped his collar to bring him down and whisper in his ear, "If you really want to make my family sweat, tell the more about what you do for a living Mr. Board Member and Computer Science man." You mused playfully before placing a kiss to his ear as he straightened and met your eyes. The light had returned to them along with the smile you gave him, "Or whatever your impressive title is." You giggled, making him smile wide as he took in your features.

"Stop distracting me, beautiful." Jin chided before giving you a quick kiss and heading towards the kitchen, "You can seduce me after you eat the apology meal!" He called from the kitchen making your roll your eyes as you sat on the couch, "Gosh, my fiancè keeps trying to have makeup sex with me!" He whined sarcastically, making you smile.

You scoffed mockingly, "Oh really? Do you want me to tell her to stop?" You joked as you heard a small clatter of pans.

"NO!" Jin called as he collected himself, making you laugh, "I can handle it just fine, I'm a strong man!" He called out, not knowing you had snuck into the kitchen.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, chest pressed against his back as he stirred the pot in front of him, "I love you, dummy." You mumbled against him.

Jin paused his movements for a moment before placing on hand over yours. He closed his eyes for a moment, blissfully sighing before his face relaxed into an equally blissful smile, "I love you most, Leopard." He squeezed your hand as you nuzzled into him. Jin could put aside his pride for you and you alone, he would move mountains for you. However, he had all intentions to put your family in their place, and to make sure they understood their place was beneath you. You, his goddess, his universe, his lovely Leopard.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you, but do you have any good "enemies to lovers" recs, may they be books or movies?

I neeeever am bothered by people asking for recommendations.  Those are my favorite asks because I am nothing if not in love with my own opinions, lol

Books

Obviously, The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn, the best Bridgerton book, because I’ve been blogging about it lol.  If you haven’t read it, it’s basically “rake tries to seduce the beauty of the ton, beauty’s older sister cockblocks him, he realizes that He Is Into It” 

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne is a classic.  Very light and fluffy contemporary, two people who’ve always hated each other begin competing for the same job and fall in love.

Kate Quinn’s Mistress of Rome series is a saga and the initial big ship of the first book (which you do have to read lol) is not enemies to lovers.  However, the NEXT ship which dominates the last two books of the series (which is four books long, and tbh... I recommend the second book but it’s a prequel and can be skipped technically) is SOOOOOOO GOOD.  It’s really “childhood friends to young lovers to SEVERE ENEMIES still secretly in love” and it’s literally epic lol.  Essentially, the series is set in Ancient Rome and Sabina (very bitchy Roman noblewoman) and Vix (child of a former gladiator, soldier) are friends who I think lose their virginities to each other?  And are in love as kids.  But then she fucks him over and marries the emperor.  Who he actually begins to loyally serve!  But he haaaates Sabina because she.... constantly backstabs him lol.  But he also looooves Sabina and gets off on everything she does.  And she wants him so badly.  And it is delicious.  And I live for it.

Both of the Evie Dunmore books I’ve read, Bringing Down the Duke and especially A Rogue of One’s Own are very enemies to lovers.  In Bringing Down the Duke it’s a bluestocking versus a duke who for political reasons is her enemy.  In A Rogue of One’s Own it’s another bluestocking versus a rake who has known her basically all their lives.  They have to begin working together and fall in looove.

Sarah MacLean LIVES for this trope lol.  Her first true enemies to lovers was Twelve Scandals to Start to Win An Earl’s Heart, in which the heroine is a scandalous young woman and the hero is a duke determined to avoid scandal--and he rebuffed her before the book began, so they hate each other.  But he also has a massive boner around her, of course. 

My favorite MacLean book, A Rogue By Another Name is another “childhood friends turn enemies to lovers”.  The leads, Penelope and Bourne (last name lol) were best friends as kid and he basically fell off after life set in.  Her family now has hold of his ancestral lands, and Bourne essentially blackmails Penelope into marrying him so that he can get those lands, after which she DESPISES him even though they had..... extremely great sex lol.  It’s SUPER GOOD, and it involves borderline voyeurism, which is great.

Then No Good Duke Goes Unpunished is very enemies to lovers.  The heroine was set to become the hero’s stepmother--then he woke up covered in blood with her missing. He then finds out, after years of being despised by society as a presumed murderer, that she is very much alive with a fake identity lol.  It’s WILD.

The Rogue Not Taken is an enemies to lovers roadtrip romance.  The heroine thinks the hero is a horrid rake who purposefully ruins marriages.  He thinks she’s a stuck up brat.  They end up journeying together and he eats her out in a moving carriage.

Theeen there’s Daring and the Duke.  The hero literally thought the heroine was dead (MacLean loves this) and is OBSESSED with her, but she hates him because the man who raised them both basically pitted them against each other after their days of being childhood sweethearts.  It’s very dark and delicious, and there are blow jobs!  Blow jobs don’t happen enough in romances, especially historical romances.  More BJs!  They are fun!

If you’re interested in a dark and BONKERS romance, Desperate Measures by Katee Robert is a retelling of Disney’s Aladdin about a modern Jafar and Jasmine getting together after he takes over her father’s criminal empire.  It’s definitely extremely explicit and a bit fucked up.  The book comes with content warnings; the first sex scene is dubcon.  (Like you’re reading from her perspective and she WANTS IT but she says no.)

Beach Read by Emily Henry is a cute contemporary in which the hero is a literary author and the heroine is a romance novelist.  They find themselves in neighboring beach houses and basically challenge each other to write in the other person’s genre.  Very light enemies to lovers.

A Heart of Blood and Ashes is a fantasy romance by Milla Vane!  Essentially, the hero’s parents were killed by the heroine’s father and he’s out to kill her father and overtake his throne.  Luckily, she’s on board.  But he needs to marry her in order to accomplish his goals.  They do not trust each other whatsoever and torment one another a lot.  For context, within the first fifty pages she gives him a handjob while her hand is covered in her own brother’s blood (and yes, he did kill her brother).  It’s great.

The Worst Best Man is about a wedding planner who suddenly finds herself needing to work with her ex-fiance’s brother... who she holds responsible for her fiance leaving her at the altar.  Very fun and sexy contemporary.

The entire Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa.  In each book, the heroine falls in love with a literal embodiment of one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, who is here to bring the end of the world.  VERY heavy enemies to lovers.  Kinda dark at times?  Kinda fucked up at times?  I love it a lot?  It begins with Pestilence; War and Famine have already been released, but Death has not.

From Lukov with Love by Marina Zapata.  It’s a figure skating romance; a down on her luck skater pairs up with a male skater who is extremely successful, and who she’s known for years and hated.  Verrrrry slow burn, but fun.

Movies

The Proposal, of course, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.  You’ve probably seen this, but the setup is that she’s his evil boss, he’s her assistant, and she’s about to lose her visa so she bribes him into marrying her so that she can get citizenship.  But ruh-roh, they have to go to Alaska for his family reunion and he’s also got a great body and is like, an Alaskan Rockefeller?  

Obviously, Clueless which is enemies to lovers by way of former stepsiblings, and also by way of the only valid retelling of Emma.  Emma itself is not enemies to lovers, really, but Clueless amps that aspect up a bit.

If you want a super tragic version, warning lol--House of Flying Daggers.  It’s a wuxia movie, so melodramatic to the max.  She’s a blind daughter of the leader of a vigilante group, he’s a soldier who’s gone undercover to follow her to their stronghold.  Many reveals and one of my favorite dramatic love stories ensues.

Princess Diaries 2, duh.  Baby Chris Pine?  Anne Hathaway?  PLEASE BITCH.

365 DNI.  If you haven’t watched yet, watch it and thank me later.  The greatest cinematic contribution of the last decade.

Down with Love.  It’s a delightful take on like, 50s/60s sex comedies in which the heroine writes a book that convinces women to ignore love and men, which makes the hero look bad and makes it difficult for him to get laid.  So he sets out to basically.....  wear a different persona?  And seduce her?  It is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, and I adore it.  Renee Zellweger and Ewan Macgregor have great chemistry in it too.

The Thomas Crown Affair, starring extremely hot Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo.  She’s an insurance investigator, he’s a billionaire who basically is suspected of stealing priceless works of art because he’s bored.  She investigates him and immediately begins fucking him.  Has a scene where she dances with him while wearing a completely transparent dress.  Then they fuck everywhere in his house.  I have never wanted to be between two people more.

The Painted Veil.  A socialite marries a dorky scientist for convenience, then cheats on him.  He finds out and basically forces her to go to China with him, where he is fighting the cholera epidemic, as an extremely long and petty murder suicide attempt.  But they get to know each other!  And the ice begins to melt!  Warning: tragic but lovely.

Casino Royale YES I SAID THAT.  The James Bond reboot movie that explains why he’s such a whore!!!  HE WAS BROKEN!!!  Basically James Bond is not like... a learned man... in this movie.  So he’s a cocky bastard and the Bond girl is impossibly sexy Eva Green as Vesper, who’s the “money man” on his mission.  They begin as bickering assholes and then fall in love.  But also!  Tragedy!

The animated Anastasia movie is one of the finest enemies to lovers movies of any time, I will defend this forever

Anyway....  Hope this gives you some ideas!  Lol

[artistictiliqua]

So the colors made my eyeballs bleed but! Heres a human Zim design spawned from a conversation with my HELLA cool friend @gh0stlyart about what the hell human Zim would wear and we agreed that the only thing this bastardous little gremlin man would wear is EXTREMELY tacky 80s clothes.

He runs a YouTube channel where he does makeup tutorials and bitches about other beauty youtubers, probably. Like a bitchy James Charles or smth

His twitter is probably full of drama and he probably has 20 callout posts written about him on the daily.

[gayregis]

do you have any examples of the witcher subverting common fantasy tropes? (other than the obvious like ciri being the chosen one but doing evil actions, the male lead being a pacifist etc) i like the books but i have friends who don't wanna read it bc they think it's just another generic fantasy story based off the netflix trailer, i obviously am not gonna force them to read it if they absolutely don't want to but it always hurts when good works go unnoticed because of misinformation

okay!! i won’t give book quotes for this one, this is just off the top of my head, because i think including quotes would take a really long time and wouldn’t helo the point. also there’s probably things i missed here

geralt 

tropes: Icy Cold Killer / Witches Stealing Kids

actuality: is a very emotional man who was born into his profession of killing and never had a choice in the matter. doesn’t want to kill for a living, is a pacifist at heart. adopts ciri because he truly is a good father and loves her and eventually teaches her witcher skills so she has a form of self-defense.

yennefer

trope: Bitchy Witch

actuality: sincerely selfless woman who risks her life multiple times to save her child from harm, does many things to save her lover, only seems bitter and closed off to the most of the world because she has been hurt by everyone she knows and doesn’t let everyone in.

ciri

tropes: Prissy Princess / Chosen One

actuality: she is a princess for approx. 1.2 seconds and then she loses everything she’s ever known, and will continue to lose everything she’s ever known. 

as the chosen one, her powers don’t help her much, she’s super powerful but still super vulnerable and her life continues to be shit - she loses everything again because of her powers, which make her a target. everyone is after her for her powers, she’s the macguffin of the story, she’s been reduced to the holy grail because of them. being the chosen one is more of a curse than a blessing.

dandelion

tropes: The Coward / The Freeloader / Slovenly Bastard

actuality: okay yeah he’s all of these things never mind he demonstrates incredible bravery and loyalty (doing something even though you’re scared to death to do it is bravery), he keeps being by geralt’s side not as a nuisance or a leech, but because geralt genuinely needs him there as his best friend.

milva

trope: The Girl of the Company

actuality: isn’t just there to be sexy while shooting arrows, is not a love interest to any of the main male characters, literally just exists in the company as a woman and no one is creepy towards her because of it. pregnancy arc is handled relatively well and she is given actual story and emotions of her own instead of being reliant on any male characters for developent

regis

trope: Every Single Vampire Trope Ever (esp. being heartless/part of an evil organization)

actuality: “the epitome of humanity,” is a healer/medic/surgeon whose profession it is to preserve life, is kind and acts with goodwill. 

the vampires in the witcher don’t drink blood to survive like hungry beasts or out of evil cultlike activities, but instead it’s like alcohol to them and they face the same social issues as humans surrounding it. also of course every other vampire trope is broken, like sunlight, garlic, wooden stakes, running water, religious symbols...

cahir

trope: Evil Soldier of Darkness

actuality: he is a young man who was manipulated by his family and his society into service of an imperialist nation, he never wanted to cause harm to ciri but raher just sought honor for his family. he then spends the entire rest of the saga redeeming himself.

angouleme

trope: Shitty Orphan Does Crime For Fun

actuality: she’s an extremely young woman who has faced abuse her entire life and has stolen and killed out of pure survival. she is actually a genuinely good person and warns geralt of the attempt on his and his company’s lives.

the sorceresses who were on thanedd and of the lodge

trope: Vain Women Get Nothing Done And Only Think About Men

actuality: 10 insanely powerful women form a powerful political cabal, at least one is a lesbian, they unanimously decide to bar the organization from men because they speak about how men are too emotional and can’t be trusted, they are capable and dangerous as an organization and would have succeeded if not for freak accidents.

witchers in general

trope: godless fiends who thrive on violence

actuality: they were created as a profession to eliminate monsters as being threats to humans, but the threat of monsters has faded and now finding work is more difficult than ever.

sorceresses in general

trope: witches steal kids

actuality: sorceresses take in unwanted daughters, from families who gave them up, and if they show magical prowess they continue to be trained

the striga (princess adda)

trope: Horrific Monster

actuality: a 14 year old girl who has been mistreated all of her life

a grain of truth

story: beauty & the beast

actuality: the real beast is the beauty who tries to rip her boyfriend’s head off

the lesser evil

story: snow white & the seven dwarves

actuality: snow white is no princess, she has been forced into a life of killing which she has become comfortable with

the last wish (heading into the bounds of reason)

trope: love at first sight

actuality: electrocute your ass at first sight, yennefer and geralt fight in the last wish, and after they fall in love date for 4 years they inevitably break up again because love at first sight doesn’t exist and they’re both too immature to hold a sincere relationship until much later

the bounds of reason

story: a peasant can kill a dragon, dragons are beasts that attack villages

actuality: you’d need professionals to kill a dragon, and also the dragons were trying to protect their child and are sentient, intelligence, respectable, and beautiful creatures.

dudu

trope: Evil Doppleganger

actuality: dopplers are incapable of being evil, they mimic forms to survive in this world dominated by violent humans.

the aen seidhe

trope: Elves Are Pretty Boys Who Don’t Do Violence

actuality: these pretty boys do a lot of violence. they kill humans because humans have usurped nearly all of their territory and pushed them out.

the aen elle

trope: Elves Are Pretty Boys Who Don’t Do Violence

actuality: these pretty boys do a lot of violence. they’re colonizers and slavers who take over entire worlds.

unicorns

trope: Unicorns Are Pretty And Docile Creatures

actuality: unicorns and elves have been at war, unicorns are incredibly intelligent and sentient and are their own civilization

nilfgaard

trope: Evil Empire

actuality: it is an imperialist nation, thus it is evil, but there are many nilfgaardian POVs throughout the saga which demonstrate that even though they are committing atrocities they are still very much human. they’re not faceless evil.

geralt’s company

trope: Grand Quest To Save The World

actuality: geralt in the saga, i think as one of the sorceresses said, is just running around lost, getting upset. geralt running around with his gathered company in the wilderness is not a grand march towards power or fame, but rather the journey of how geralt becomes a better person and a better father, he finally accepts help, he finally becomes a leader.

the quest doesn’t concern power or being a grand hero, it’s not a beautiful march. it’s a bunch of idiots traipsing through the forests, grasslands, and marches, trying to dry out their boots and footwraps because the ground is muddy. 

the goal of the quest is not to save the world or find great power or complete a prophecy or save a desperate lover, but rather to just get geralt’s daughter back. his daughter. because he loves her and wants her to be safe. that’s all.

you can’t step two inches in the witcher without breaking a trope. they’re strewn everywhere, like crackers on the sidewalk. step, step. now the pigeons are eating the crumbs

i think largely you have to look at sapkowski’s personal history with writing and fantasy bc iirc he was a scholar or something about arthurian legend and also he was influenced by many polish folktales