#my baby is really insecure and thinks pretty low of himself in actuality like that hes a fuck up and no one cares for him so like

[1980ssunflower]

jesus christ

[crazy-only]

nsfw alphabet oscar piastri edition !

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

sweet baby is probably making sure you came, getting in between your legs and licking you clean like the tease he is before cleaning you up properly with a towel and getting you your favorite drink. he jokes around a lot but does not play when it comes to caring for you.

b = body part (favorite body part on themselves, as well as their partner’s)

oscar is OBSESSED with your fucking tits. oh my god you cannot convince me otherwise. every time he sees your rack on display in a low-cut shirt (regardless of your size) he gets turned on. it’s gotten to the point where he has to take a “bathroom break” during family dinners because he just can’t believe you’re his.

once you guys got more comfortable during sex, he got you to ride his face, and oh my god oscar was so happy in that moment. after that, he made sure at least weekly you were nearly suffocating him with your sweet pussy, so, long story short, he likes his nose because you also like it! ≥︺‿︺≤

c = cum (anything to do with cum)

baby cums so much you get worried you might get knocked up sometimes (even though you’re on the pill). if you haven’t cum yet, his stringy ropes will definitely hit all the right spots, leaving you in a moaning mess.

sometimes he cums on your belly and licks it off you when you’re insecure that day, just to show you how much he worships your body.

oscar also loves making you taste your own cum after fingering you slowly for an hour. you just taste so good! he can’t help it. (>‿◠)

d = dirty secret (dirty secret of theirs!)

oscar secretly wants to fuck you while you’re tied up. he seems like the type to joke around and make sarcastic remarks during sex, but deep down he’s fucking sadistic. he wants to see how helpless you can get under his hands.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

yes. just yes.

haha just kidding. i actually don’t think he’s that experienced, just because of the fact he’s probably been focused on racing his whole life and never really had a chance to hook up with people. naturally, his body count is low.

that being said, though, he’s not scared at all to try new things with you. oscar has no shame when it comes to making you guys feel good—so don’t worry about experience!

f = favorite position (cowgirl, missionary, etc.)

oscar loves fucking you face to face, with your hands held above your head in his left hand and his other hand fondling your tits. he’s big on seeing your reactions, and making you face him while yours contorts with pleasure and pain.

g = goofy (are they serious or more humorous in the moment?)

oscar’s actually pretty scary when it comes to freaky time. you love to tease him just to be a brat, but when your man finally snaps, oscar can’t help it but show you who’s in control. he loves a good laugh, and sometimes when you guys are having soft sex, it’s not rare to hear giggling, but in all other occasions, your man is taming you.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

this man could care less about the hair situation down there. he shaves and whatnot so it’s never uncomfortable for him while racing, but he knows you like it when there’s a happy trail for you to get entranced in. he also loves forcing you down his cock so your nose is surrounded by his pubes. it makes him so much harder.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

oh my god this man literally asked you to be his girlfriend with a whole garden of candles and roses. he plays it off like these romantic moments are just to get you flustered, but he truly does enjoy making a good cute memory with you and learning more about you.

j = jack off (masturbation head canon)

oscar doesn’t have much time for getting himself off. (◞‸◟) regardless of his horniness level, most nights, he just falls right to sleep. when he does have a spare minute, though, he jacks off to videos of you moaning his name. he imagines it were your fingers wrapped around himself.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

like mentioned previously, oscar loves to tie your ass up, making you whimper and cum several times over before he even thinks about himself.

other than rigging, oscar loves some good food play, like eating whipped cream or something sweet from your tits until you beg for his dick.

l = location (favorite place to have sex!)

he is utterly addicted to fucking you in the car. he loves it when you think you’re the boss and drive him around town. even after you scraped another car trying to park (totally the other car’s fault), he still ate you out, reassuring you that he can afford to fix a little mistake like yours.

extra points if he gets you to suck his dick while he drives. he saw you cum in your panties one time just from sucking him off, and he found it really hot, but he knows you’d be so embarrassed if he ever found out, so he never said anything about it.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

absolutely anything to do with your tits turns him on. if you’re in the pool or it’s cold and your nipples become prominent—boom! he’s bricked up. if you spill something on your shirt and you try to clean it up with a napkin—you guessed it! man’s bricked up!

he also fucking loves it when you’re a brat, even though it seems otherwise. when you stick your tongue out at him, all he can think about is that tongue getting forced down your throat by his dick. it’s obvious because his cheeks turn red.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn off’s)

oscar doesn’t fuck with blood play or any cutting of the skin for that matter. it’s inconvenient as he trains daily and can’t afford injuries.

he also doesn’t really enjoy being dommed for a whole week. he’s got to have at least 60% control in the bedroom for him to be happy.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

oscar loves driving you insane with his tongue on your pussy, eating you out how he knows you like it, but he honestly loves it more when you suck him off. it’s just a power thing, and you don’t complain because it also turns you on. ( ^ω^)

he doesn’t mind how good or bad you are at blowjobs. as long as you’re putting in the effort, this man is bound to cum.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

oscar leans more on the slow side just because he wants to torture you and show you who’s in control. every now and then when you’ve proven your worth he’ll go fast and rough the way you like it, because, at the end of the day, he’s whipped for you.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh my god i just know oscar has a quickie before every race to calm his nerves down. if he doesn’t listen to music beforehand he has to chill out in some other way, no? usually he prefers you sucking his dick off in the family bathroom before hopping in the f1 car, but when he doesn’t have you, he makes due with his hands ＞﹏＜ (though he swears he preforms better after a blowjob from you).

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

your man loves risking being caught while fucking you because he simply doesn’t give a fuck. he personally thinks the chance of getting caught makes the whole situation hotter, and loves covering your moans with wet kisses.

to experiment with non-vanilla type sex, he’s more than happy to do so. he really doesn’t mind trying new things, because baby knows what to fall back on if you’re not getting the pleasure you deserve. (>‿◠)

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

oscar can go for as long as you need. when he has the time, he loves to overstimulate you until you’re near passing out. all of the training he’s done is more than enough to fuck you hard like you want it!

t = toys (do they own toys and use them? on a partner or on themselves?)

due to his busy schedule, baby has a toy that he knows will get him off quick and take away the horniness for at least a few hours. for himself, he’s never really adventured into the world of sex toys, preferring his hands or basic toy.

when he met you, though, he started purchasing all sorts of gadgets just to drive you crazy. his favorite one to use on you is the vibrator with a suction cup that attaches to the ground. he makes you ride it and cum all over it, stroking himself at the erotic scene before fucking you hard with his own dick, making you say that his is better.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

like mentioned previously, oscar teases you endlessly, mainly just to show you who’s the boss. you’re just so cute under his lengthy fingers; who wouldn’t tease you a bit?

v = volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make? etc.)

oh god oscar lets it all out when he’s fucking your pussy. after a day of dealing with the press and holding in all of the rude comebacks he could’ve made to the reporters, oscar needs to let off his steam vocally. he groans and tells you dirty things, calling you his slut, not bothering to keep his volume down for the neighboring hotel rooms. frankly, he finds it a bit funny for them to have to hear all of his sounds.

bonus points if he can make you scream cutely as well! ≧ω≦

w = wild card (a random head canon for the person)

“mmph, fuckkk oscarrrr, feels sooo goood,” you moan with your eyes closed, focused on riding his nose while his tongue did magic to your clit. oscar just hummed in response, the vibrations going right to your core. at first you were a bit worried in case you happened to suffocate your man, but thankfully, the worry dissipated and you were riding your high, oscar with his hands on your thighs. “so fucking hot,” he’d grumble from under you, making you ride his face even faster. when you were close, oscar made sure to tug you down so he could fuck you good with his tongue, lewd noises echoing in the room.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on beneath the clothes)

wow your mans is packing. oscar acts chill but that’s because he’s able to be so confident with his figure! there’s no reason to be insecure because baby is packing, and he knows it.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

his is quite average, or if anything, below average. he’s learned how to resist his urges when training, and for that reason, only really gets hot and bothered when he sees you! ~>_<~ as long as you’re nearby, all he can think about is that pretty body of yours!

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

oscar falls asleep rather quickly because he knows he’ll be able to have you all to himself the day after. he knows you’re loyal to him and you’ll also want to spend some quality time with him. you’re his safe space, so naturally, he falls asleep around you! *^_^*

notes:

omg i wrote a whole fxcking report on this man’s sex habits holy sh!t. i wish i could write essays like how i write smut. =_=

but yes, hope you enjoyed reading! <3 who should i do next?

[thelovelyruin]

𝖋𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : he’s your ex, and he’s having a hard time moving on from you.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓: smut, angst, porn with plot, vaginal sex, oral sex, praise, love, fluff, teasing, fingering (TOXIC CHOSO SHEESH)

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 4K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from fruit by abra.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello, lovelies, thank you so much for reading! one of my favorites. i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Tell me what you did last night.

“I don’t think so, at least not with some guy like that.”

“Believe what you want. She fucked him; couple sources tell me so.”

“The fuck are you, TMZ?”

Choso knew you didn’t, at least you wouldn’t, maybe; you’d been walking around with him, putting distance between you guys so as not to raise suspicion. But Choso knew you, probably better than anyone else. Deep down, he’d convinced himself you were still his, noticing how you’d keep eye contact with him or at the very least leave him on read, and when he asked you why you don’t just block him, you’d give him a smirk as you walked off, and damn, he loved to see you go.

Did you close your eyes and think about me like I think about you?

Choso was in love with you still, falling asleep to the thought of you. He missed your smell, your touch, your, well, you know. He knew he was a fuckin’ asshole though, saying some really rude things to you, terrible at times. But, he never thought you’d break up with him. Especially when you were a total bitch right back. Every fucked up thing Choso said, you’d follow up with some egregious shit, always looking for a low blow. Like that time you insulted him for not being able to get it up since you’d been arguing all day, which in turn, he fucked the shit out of you, getting you to shut up. For ten minutes. You’d had enough when he accused you of fucking with some guy you met at a party, conveniently the same guy you were talking to now. Which made him really fucking mad. It was one thing if you’d fucked the guy after the two of you broke up, or in Choso’s head, you were on a break, but the idea of you fucking him while you were together? That had him fuming.

Tell me why you always fight. Waiting on you to get with it; what's with the resistance, baby?

Choso wasn’t the aggressive type; as much as you’d argue, it really came from insecurity. He knew you were pretty, hot even, catching the attention of damn near every guy who walked by you. When you were together, he’d grip your ass to tell them to fuck off, but now that you guys split, they’d start approaching you, and you’d have to tell them off, reminiscent of when you’d yell at him like that. You shouldn’t have to do that, and maybe if he’d acted right, he’d be able to protect you still. When he got particularly tired of that guy talking to you, he walked up to the punch bowl. He interjected, like a shark swimming through the sea of party go-ers, pushing any motherfucker who got in his way. He’d cleared the distance fast, immediately bringing his arm around your waist.

“Sorry, buddy. She’s taken.”

You pushed Choso’s hand off, not even looking him in the face, instead pointing your attention back to the dude in front of you.

“No, I'm not. Now why don’t you fuck off so I can continue my conversation.”

“Uh, actually, I’ll talk to you later…”

Choso had scared the guy off, face bearing a shit-eating grin as you looked up at him in disgust.

“You’ve got some fucking nerve.”

“What did I do, baby?”

“You’re scarin’ the hoes, plus I’m not your fuckin’ baby.”

Don't listen to a word they say.

Before Choso could respond, you’d walked off in a fit; that made him really hurt. You’d just rejected him in front of some guy you barely even knew and brushed him off like a fly on your shoulder. You’d walked over to your friends, who, when you pointed at Choso, shot him death stares. He deserved that for sure, but nonetheless, it was insulting. He went off to meet Yuuji again, pulling the tequila out of his bag and throwing shots back like a madman. His tolerance was pretty high, but that didn’t stop him from getting dunk, probably one drink or two away from blacking out. He looked about the party, trying to find you, and when he did, you were with the fucker he’d accused you of cheating on him with again, his hand on your waist. Choso was to his limit at this point, wanting to steal you away and take you back to his apartment; he wanted to bring you home and show you just how much he missed you.

I'm in your head like every day.

Choso knew it was a bad idea, but that didn’t stop him from pulling out his phone and texting you.

“Bathroom. Now.”

You’d check your phone, looking around until your eyes landed on Choso, who was already making his way to the bathroom. He had something to prove: if you still loved him, you’d come to the bathroom with him, and if you didn’t, you’d leave him hanging. He walked into the upstairs bathroom, closing it behind him as he splashed water on his face to sober up. After a couple of minutes, there was a knock on the door. He opened it, ready to tell the guy who was knocking off. But it was you. Tits sitting pretty in that strapless dress, so fuckin’ short you couldn’t bend over at all. He pulled you into the bathroom, locking the door as he sat you on the sink.

And you deny yourself…

Choso began kissing you, using one hand to spread your legs apart so he could start to touch you. You’d thrown your head back so he could begin sucking the skin there, pushing him off of you the second he started biting you, not allowing him to leave hickies, and fuck that made him angry. In retaliation, he pulled down the top of your dress, tits falling out as he brought his mouth up to suck on them, taking extra care of rubbing your clit as he sucked your nipples into his mouth. A couple of people walked by to use the bathroom, every time pulling off your nipple and taking his hand off your clit so you’d shut up, telling them the bathroom was occupied. That was until Yuuji knocked on the door.

“Yo, Choso, is that you?”

He almost didn’t answer, coming back down to lift your dress completely up, all of the fabric bunched around your stomach until Yuuji kept talking.

“You wanted to know where she was, right? Asshole just left, but I haven’t seen her, probably left together.”

Choso looked up from your chest, smirking.

“Don’t worry, she didn’t. I’ll be out soon, had to throw up.”

“Okay, I’ll be in the car.”

With that, Yuuji walked off, leaving you and Choso to your own devices. You looked down at him with a twisted face as he slid his hands under your legs, positioning you on the counter so he could eat you out.

“Don’t you think you should leave? Someone’s waiting for you.”

“He can wait; I’ll make this quick.”

As much as he pissed you off, your pussy missed him. He’d been fucking you since sophomore year, meeting you at a car meet a month after the semester started; he ate you out the next day in the back of his S550, so you were his. It was hard to resist him a lot of the time, especially when he’d walk around campus giving you that hungry-ass look, obviously going through withdrawals. You’d heard it through the grapevine that he was keeping his dick to himself, rejecting every girl that decided to wait til you broke up to fuck him. That’s why fucking with other guys was so fun, you knew he couldn’t fucking stand it.

And then you scream my name…

Choso started eating your pussy, sliding his tongue between your lips, lapping at your bud as he moaned into you. Fuck, he looked good. Sucking your clit as you held his head up to your pussy, telling him you were ready to get this over with.

“So, that’s what this is about?”

He hadn’t lifted, keeping his face between your legs, fingering you as he spoke.

“The fuck are you talkin’ about.”

“You brought me here to eat me out because you thought I fucked him, huh? Needed to prove a point or something?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, enjoy it 'cause it'll be the last time.”

“Yeah, right. I see you still wearing that necklace I bought you.”

“Oh, don’t even-”

“Can you just shut the fuck up for once?”

Choso brought his face back to your pussy, sucking your juices up as he massaged your ass. You couldn’t lie, it felt really fucking good. You didn’t wanna cum for him, not like he deserved it, but your body had other plans. He’d been fucking his fingers into you, hitting that place he knew set you off; you hated how good he knew your body. Within seconds you were seeing stars, eyes rolling back as he chuckled into your pussy, drinking up all your cum as he slapped your ass. 

“Good girl. Give it to me, baby.”

God, you were perfect. Moaning his name as he brought a hand up to pinch your nipples, sucking your clit as he fucked you through your orgasm. When you came down, you pushed him off, fixing your dress as he licked you off his fingers. He put your panties in his pocket, kissed you quickly, and unlocked the door.

“If you want them back, you know where to find me.”

“Fuck you.”

And I can't take it.

Come chase the night with me.

You were back to ignoring him again, walking the other way when you’d see him about to walk by and stopping your conversations if he did happen to walk by. You’d been pretty dedicated to this little charade, telling everyone who asked that he was your ex, not even your friend. Which, in theory, he wasn’t, and he didn’t want to be. The only real option was to be your boyfriend, and you were giving him a hard time with that. He’d text you like he always did, telling you good morning and night, and then there were the gifts. It had always been his love language, so it didn’t surprise you when you had roses waiting for you at your door, or a bag of your favorite makeup from Sephora, or a perfume he’d want you to try. You were really coy about it, too; he’d smell you as he walked by, and you were wearing it; you’d wear the lipgloss he gave you and left the note for the roses outside your door. It wasn’t until one afternoon when he was particularly toxic, texting you to let you know he still had your things and didn’t want you to go without them.

“Okay.”

It was a basic text, which really pissed him off, but it was more than anything you’d given him since he ate you last week. You wore one of the dresses he’d bought you when you were together, wanting to get a rise out of him, and your mission was accomplished when he licked his lips the second you walked out of the building. You saw he got a new wrap on his car, the black chrome you’d encouraged him to get for the longest time, persisting that it would look great on his S550, but he insisted on keeping that deep purple wrap. He treated it like a surprise as he opened the door for you, to which you gave him:

“Nice wrap.”

Shit, he’d take it. As he climbed into the driver's seat, he placed his hand on your thigh, which you swiftly moved away. That didn’t stop you from putting your hand on the gearshift adjusting it as he pulled off. God, you were so fuckin’ push and pull. He decided to talk to you as he drove.

They say I'm bad, you say it back, but you know you don't believe that.

“So, how was your day?”

“It was good.”

“Nice earrings.”

“Thanks, they were a gift.”

“Oh yeah? From who?”

“Hm, his name evades me.”

“I see you’re on your shit again.

“The fuck does that mean?”

“It means we’ve only been driving for ten minutes, and you’re already talkin’ crazy.”

“Talkin’ crazy? That’s real rich coming from you.”

“Oh yeah? How’s that?”

“Don’t act like you’re not a piece of shit.”

“Didn’t stop you from fucking with me.”

“It did, actually.”

“Was that before after I ate your pussy?”

“Says the motherfucker still in love with me.”

Just like that, you guys were arguing again. It didn’t feel too good, but it was a glimpse into what you guys had, so he was willing to tolerate it. He tensed his jaw as he pulled up to his apartment, turning the car off annoyed, which didn’t go unnoticed by you because you scoffed at him as he opened your door. He walked behind you on the stairs, getting a nice view of your ass as you walked, and he wasn’t stupid; you’d put a lil sass to your walk.

Eat the fruit that feeds your spirit on your knees; now, baby, eat it, eat it.

Choso unlocked the door to his apartment, letting you walk in first, locking the door behind you. His apartment looked the same, but what you’d noticed was that your boots were still at the front door. Your makeup was still organized in the bathroom, and a couple of new products there, presumably gifts he hadn’t gotten the chance to give you. Your earrings were still on his dresser, along with the picture of you two at the fair a few months ago. When things were still healthy between you two.

“I see you haven’t moved my stuff.”

“Because you weren’t supposed to leave.”

“Not exactly ex-boyfriend behavior, Choso.”

“What would that be?”

“Moving on from me, giving me back my things or throwing them away, not talking to me, the list goes on. Let’s be real, you didn’t bring me here to get my shit. Why do you keep doing this? Can’t you see I'm hurt? I don’t wanna be hurt anymore; that’s why I fuckin’ left! I hate that I love you!”

Choso walked up to you now, bringing you into his arms. You hesitated at first, then softened into it. He was always so warm, especially when he was vulnerable like this. When things were good. You began crying into his sleeve, holding on to him tighter as he brought a hand up to caress the back of your head.

“I’m sorry, baby. I promise I’ll do better to treat you the way you deserve. I know I’ve been an asshole, and I’m sorry, but it doesn’t excuse the shit I’ve said to you. Just want you back, baby.”

You pulled back to look him in the face, him wiping away your tears.

“Yeah?”

“Of course, princess.”

You brought him into a kiss, deepening it as he held your lower back, your fingers in his hair.

“Then make me feel better.”

Are you really gonna stand there staring at me all the way from across the room?

Choso let you down onto his bed, standing over you as he pulled off your heels, his shirt and pants right after. He climbed over the top of you, making out with you again as he slipped his hand behind you, arching your back as he unzipped your dress. He pulled off you, tossing it somewhere on the floor. He thought a lot of things; when he asked you to come over, he fully expected to eat you out again, but what really surprised him was your lack of a bra and panties. You’d come over knowing you wanted to fuck him, which made him even hungrier for you, immediately massaging the outside of your lips to tease you. You writhe your hips, begging him to touch you how you need him to. With soft kisses, he made his way down your body, stopping at your tits to suck hickeys into the skin there. You hadn’t stopped him this time.

Are you really gonna stand there staring at me?

Choso’s head fell between your legs, pushing your hips apart as he brought his fingers through your lips, feeling how wet you were for him. He had half a mind to fuck you right then and there, but his main prerogative was to make you cum first, prepping you for later. He’d known it had been a while, a month since you guys had sex, and he wasn’t gonna believe those rumors. Not when he slipped his tongue into your folds, making you his girl again as you moaned his name into the pillow.

“Let me hear you, baby. Need to hear how much you missed me.”

Don't listen to a word they say; I'm in your head like every day.

He was sucking with a passion, practically making out with your pussy as you moved your body against his. He needs you more than anything right now. You were his water, his food, his air. It had been a long month, unsure just how bad he’d fucked up, praying you’d come back to him. And now here you were, letting him take care of you, please you, relieve the stress of the past few months. Taking you to a place where there was no arguing, no fighting, just you and him. You gripped the sheets as you came undone, moaning his name softly instead of screaming it; that’s how he knew he really had you.

And you deny yourself…

But he wasn’t done there. He would make it up to you; so many nights you had to sleep without his touch, nothing but your pillow to sleep on. He needed you to know just how much he loved you, and you were pretty damn sure two orgasms later. You whimper at this point from overstimulation, your body giving into him despite how spent you are.

“How many times are you gonna eat me out?”

“As many times it takes for you to give me another chance.”

Choso wasn’t malicious, though, so he gently laid your legs back down, kissing them as he let your thighs rest on the bed. He kissed his way back up to your neck, sucking hickeys there, groaning as he made you his again. He massaged the fat of your ass now, naked body humping against his as he moved his hips with yours, bringing his lips to your ears.

“Can I fuck you baby?”

At that point, you needed him. Bad. It felt like it had been forever since he fucked you, making quick work of taking off his briefs, helping him position himself between your legs. Choso towered over you as he took in the sight before him. It felt like a mirage, having his girl lay out in front of him, begging for his touch as her hand pulled his wrist, signaling she was ready, the side of her face pressed into the pillow. He brought his fingers to your folds, saturating them as he put your essence on his shaft, nearly shuddering at the feeling. He brought himself down to hover over you, kissing you as he slid himself in.

And then you scream my name…

“Fuck!”

“Jesus, baby…”

You felt so fucking good. He felt like he’d been in rehab for the past month, finally getting his fix again because you were fucking addictive. He started by making love to you, holding your hands as he fucked you deep and slow, whimpering in your ear. But then, he really missed you. He picked up his pace, hips beginning to rut into yours, making you moan his name so loud, he was sure the neighbors would hear you. As he fucked you, though, his mind drifted, thinkin’ about shit he shouldn’t. Fuck, he needed to know.

“Did you fuck him?”

“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Did you fuck that guy everybody’s been saying you did?”

You were pissed at him again. Here you were, blissed out, and he was asking about some fucker you only ever flirted with.

“No, I didn’t; now, please just fuck me.”

He believed you, but he wasn’t letting you off that easy. He had to make sure you didn’t get any ideas in the future. He picked your hips up as he fell back on his knees, fucking into you at a pace that made you feel so good you couldn’t even think. He was hitting you right where you needed him to, ramming that spot as he heard your moans pick up.

“Tell me, no one’s ever gonna fuck you like this.”

“No one’s gonna fuck me like this…”

“Who’s are you, baby?”

“I’m yours, Choso. Please...”

“Yeah? Then cum for me.”

 And I can’t take it.

He was fucking cocky, needing to hear you call out for him, need him, crave him. And that you did, which is why you gave him what he wanted. He drilled into that spot, and you burst like a firecracker, your body convulsing from your fourth orgasm of the night. You grip his arm, trying to hold on to anything as you give your all to him, as you’ve done time and time before. He was grateful this time; he wouldn’t take advantage of the kindness you’d shown him. That’s why he gave you all he had, too. He threw his head back as he came inside you, holding your hips close to his to ensure he gave you all of it, not missing a drop. You moaned at the feeling of him filling up, gasping at the motion of his body hovering over you again, arms struggling to stay up as he slowly pulled out of you, kissing you as you both came down from your high.

They aren't in your head like…

Fuck, he missed you. It took everything in him not just to pull you in and hold you there forever, so scared you’d leave. He knew he had to clean you up, though, so he carried you to the bathroom and held you in his arms as you took a bath together, nearly falling asleep on his chest. Then, he brought you back to the room, dressed you in one of his shirts, and laid you under the covers, coming under to hold you close. 

Like second nature, you felt yourself melt into his arms, trusting him to protect you as he kissed your forehead, whispering over and over he loved you. You drifted to sleep; all he could think about was what he would do next. He was tempted to move you in at this point, take you to class in his car every day; you pissed at the loudness of his exhaust. Pick you up and take you out to eat, bring you home to watch a movie, then make love to you. He wanted to be perfect for you because that meant you’d be his forever.

They aren't in your head like…

When you woke up the next morning, you got ready and woke Choso up to take you back to your dorm. He could tell you were a little distant; to be fair, you’d been upset with him for the past month, so he was taking what he could get. Still, you kissed him before you got out of the car and walked into your building; he left when he made sure you were in there safe.

You hadn’t really talked to him that day; when he asked you what was wrong, well, you said:

“I just wanna make sure I’m making the right decision. I wanna make sure things aren’t gonna be like before.”

He’d respected your decision; you wanted to see him change, and he was going to. But that was earlier today, and he was thinking about you now. Old habits die hard, huh?

“Missin’ you, baby.”

“I’ll be ready in ten.”

They aren't in your head like me.

♱ the song used in this story is fruit by abra. 🖤

(this was probably one of the most emotional stories i’ve ever written, but also the fastest, which is probably a red flag tbh.)

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[whinlatter]

something tells me you don't really like tonks, just a hunch xD

For the relationship ask if you're still doing it: harry and remus, molly and remus, teddy and adromeda. I would love to see what do you think <3

noooo i love tonks! i had a ball writing her and think that @evesaintyves’ rendering of her is one of fandom’s greatest gifts 😭 i just find it very funny that harry thinks she should low key get a grip. and as a clumsy young woman who should myself get a grip, i say: get off her case, hjp.

ok the remus + tonks/black extended family universe... hyped for this one. delicious choices, thank you anon. (i have a few more in the inbox i'm going to take a stab at but am trying to avoid spoilery ones or ones where i risk boring you all again by repeating old talking points, so if i don't get to one pls forgive me...)

right — to business. we begin with everybody looking at remus lupin waiting for him to put his crippling self loathing aside to write (1) singular letter to his dead friend's son:

i jest (to an extent). but i do think the entirety of harry and remus' dynamic is best encapsulated in one singular scene in PoA:

“When they get near me — ” Harry stared at Lupin’s desk, his throat tight. “I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum.” Lupin made a sudden motion with his arm as though to grip Harry’s shoulder, but thought better of it.

i know there's a very understandable move in AUs to imagine what would have happened if remus had raised harry - or, more often, if remus had been 'allowed' to raise harry by dumbledore. but looking past the whole plot-requiring-harry-to-be-at-the-dursleys thing, the truth is, canon remus lupin would never have put himself forward to raise harry, because of his own (not unfounded!) concerns about the precarity of his existence and the dangerousness of his condition. remus' sense of self - more specifically his fear of himself, and his very low self worth - consistently lead him to hold harry at arm's length from the moment he's introduced in the series until its bitter end. i don't think remus at all approves of the way harry is treated at the dursleys. but i can very much imagine that remus thinks it would still be better than the life he could have given harry if he ever had been called upon to serve as his primary caregiver. one of the most interesting implicit dynamics in the series is that harry notices this and does, to some extent, resent it (obviously the fact that he only ever calls him 'lupin' in his narration, though uses remus to his face, and also: 'Harry had received no mail since the start of term; his only regular correspondent was now dead and although he had hoped that Lupin might write occasionally, he had so far been disappointed.') while the harry & remus fight in DH is about harry's view of what remus ought to do re tonks and the baby, it’s also harry coming as close as saying to remus: you're letting your own child down like you let me down. ('I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually... He had it coming to him,” said Harry. Broken images were racing each other through his mind: Sirius falling through the veil; Dumbledore suspended, broken, in midair; a flash of green light and his mother’s voice, begging for mercy… ‘Parents,’ said Harry, 'shouldn’t leave their kids unless—unless they’ve got to.')

molly and remus: i think this is a very, very underrated relationship! i know there’s a lot of molly-bashing around these days, especially if you’re a marauders and/or sirius and/or wolfstar stan. but i think it is very very overlooked that the person who looks after adult remus the most from 1995 onwards, and who shows him some of the deepest trust and roots for his happiness, is molly. for a man who has plainly known a huge amount of financial/food/housing insecurity, and who is so villainised in wider wizarding society, it is no small gesture for molly to not only provide for remus materially but also to trust him in a house with all of her children and encourage him in a romantic relationship he struggles to feel entitled to and worthy of. (i love sirius, but he is in no fit state to ‘look after’ remus in the last year of his life, and fandom’s continued unwillingness to recognise the importance of domestic/caregiving labour as a vital contribution to the resistance will never not be problematic af). remus clearly values and admires molly in return - the only time he actually ever entertains a parent/guardianship role is when molly is weeping over her boggart, crying onto remus’ shoulder (‘what must you think of me?’) and he assures her that if anything were to happen to her and arthur, he would be a part of the team making sure her children are taken date of (‘what do you think we’d do, let them starve?’) remus’ relationship with molly is often the more mild-mannered translator of her viewpoint to others (especially others with hot tempers), and mediator trying to find middle ground between molly’s protective instincts and the battle/ready instincts of others. (more grist to my sirius & ginny parallels mill — in DH, when a fuming ginny is desperately trying to sneak off to fight in the battle, it’s remus who appeals to molly and ginny to find the compromise of ginny staying in the room of requirement to know what’s going on but not actively fight, a mirror image of his role mediating the dispute between sirius and molly over harry’s right to know what’s going on at grimmauld in ootp…) molly accepts this compromise, a sign that she trusts remus implicitly (she never frets that a werewolf is living among her children in ootp onwards, and invites him to christmas readily even after months undercover with the pack) and also feels able to call him out (‘i’ve always said you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, remus’.) this is too long but basically — justice for molly and remus, unlikely buds!

teddy and andromeda: i weirdly think a lot about teddy lupin these days. i tend to imagine teddy as a very mild-mannered, affable, calm child, like who remus might have been had he not been bitten, with tonks' heart and sociability but also with something of remus' more philosophical disposition. i think he'd slip very naturally into a big brother role because, in part, he does see himself as having a responsibility to take care of people, and i think this would shine through in his relationship with andromeda. we know teddy was raised by his gran, and i imagine she feels enormously protective of him, perhaps bordering on strict in her desire to keep him safe from the harm that came to all the rest of her family. but i like to imagine teddy didn't act out against this too much, in part because he understands where it comes from and in turn feels very protective of andromeda. growing up in the aftermath of the war would make teddy as a child particularly aware of the grief and pain and the silences among the adults around him, and i think teddy would take any compensatory protective strictness on andromeda's part with good grace, and humour her for it. i like to think teenage/young adult teddy serves as the translator for any of his gran's more prickly edges, and that they have a very close relationship that both of them really treasure.

[icanseethefuture333]

Can I have an post about NCT Mark's reputation in the industry or his ideal type? P.S You're legit look like a 90s superstar💌💖💖 don't be shy and drop your skincare routine please 🙏

WHY ARE NCTZENS BEING SO NICE TO MEEEE, THIS IS LIKE THE 2ND COMPLIMENT I'VE GOTTEN THANK YOUUU 😭💚 Ofc since we did TY Track I don't see why I can't do one for Mark 🦁

Mark from NCT's ideal type:

Qualities

I channeled: "Hmm... What do I like in a partner?" I think Mark hasn't really thought about what important qualities a partner should have and more so has thoughts about appearance or personality.

Mark would be interested in someone similar to him or someone with similar values, habits, or behavior as him, but with a more elevated mindset.

He could want to do date someone who is also a musician or a writer. I feel like Mark is curious about the twin flame dynamic? He could want to feel a connection with someone on a deeper level. Telepathy? Mark is wanting a partner who could read his mind and emotions so that way he doesn't always have to explain himself. Someone who is very aware and observant. A partner that eases his anxiety or relieves him of his everyday stress. He could also like if his partner was more optimistic and looked on the bright side of things because Mark can have a more "realistic" outlook on life.

Personality

I'm ngl... Mark has a toxic taste in partners LMAO 💀 I just feel that he wants someone who keeps him on his toes and he hates predictability. Like if his partner was too "normal" or too "stable", he's gonna hate that, he's gonna feel like he's the partner with the issues, so he wants someone that can be as imperfect as him. "It's more fun that way, no?"

I'm laughing pls 😭- "I'm not saying I want my heart broken, but if she's bad then she can take it [his heart]."

Mark really does not give a fuck 😂 (btw this is the first reading I've done for a celebrity where I cannot stop giggling??? He's so funny). He also wants someone who would like call him out on his bullshit. Mark doesn't want someone who's submissive or a pushover, "😁Feistyyy." It's giving: "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me"

Intuitively, I feel like Mark also has a lot of insecurity in his relationships as well. The partners who are healthier for him, he feels like he's not good enough for them, so instead he dates partners who are often unstable. It's okay to date someone who's more outspoken and dominant, but it seems like he's constantly attracted to partners who are too controlling towards him.

Physical traits

"Honestly I have a type. I'm not the tallest so I don't wanna date anyone who's like too tall but I don't mind the height too much. I like hair, the people I've dated their hair is pretty long and if they have short hair, it's gotta be like fluffy (voluminous is the word he was looking for)." Channeled songs: Trap Queen, 679, & Again by Fetty Wap

"I'm like "Hey, what's up? Hello" (Ayy)

Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in the door

I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll

Married to the money, introduced her to my stove

Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low

She my trap queen, let her hit the bando

We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go"

"Baby girl, you're so damn fine, though

I'm tryna know if I could hit it from behind, though

I'm sipping on you like some fine wine, though

And when it's over, I press rewind though, ayy

You talking bands, girl, I got it

Benjamins all in my pocket

I traded in my Trues for some Robins

He playing Batman, Fetty's gon' rob him, ayy

I got a Glock in my 'Rari, ayy

17 shots, no .38"

"I want you to be mine again, baby, ayy

I know my lifestyle is driving you crazy, ayy

But I cannot see myself without you

We call them fans, though, girl, you know how we do

I go out of my way to please you

I go out of the way to see you

I ain't playing no games, I need you"

Oh he's a giverrr 😝. Mark wants for his partner to look good, so he'd go out of his way to pamper them and spoil them. Like "oh baby you want your nails done? I got youuu 😌". He likes to show off his partner. I heard "I want that Beyoncé and Jay Z love." (😭💀 Mark go sit tf down please). I love the energy tho fr.

He's mentioned girls a lot + all 4 cards are women, so he has a obvious preference towards the female gender.

Long hair

Thick, voluminous hair

All hair textures (straight, wavy, curly, etc).

Varies from pale, medium, deep, or brown skin tones.

Girls with a "mean" expression or resting bitch face (🤨😠😒)

Feline beauty

Arched eyebrows

Horizontally wider eyes

Prominent features (big nose and big lips)

Likes lipstick or lip gloss ("Juicy lips")

Someone who plays hard to get (as in a tsundere, basically acts like they don't want him but secretly does)

Shoulders and collarbones

Pretty hands

Nice ass

Likes jewelry? Rings and earrings to be specific.

Something about fabrics is coming up, so Mark could like when women wear flowy dresses or like those sheer beach cover ups.

Instagram baddie style is very apparent here.

Soft glam makeup (U.K? Black London baddie makeup. Latina makeup coming up as well.)

Mixes luxury with casual

Long acrylic nails

High heels

Painted toes

I am being reminded of that song that goes "Ion want no barbie, I want me a bratz doll "

Bratz doll type of beauty

Celebrities/influencers who are similar to his ideal type:

Juliana Nalu, Ashley Nicole King, Kali Uchís, Camo, Jordyn Woods, Yarastargal, Mia Owens, lisajn37, amandaa_solis, Cindy Kimberly, asiaeros, bbv_g6rl, 200120_01, & bybrokelle

[cosmicjoke]

Well, after watching a recap of the first episode of season 2 of "Loki" (because I'm not paying Disney for anything at this point), I can pretty much confirm everything I said in my previous post. This show isn't about Loki at all. It's about the multiverse and just a set up for the next Avengers movie. Why is Loki even necessary as the main character, I wonder. They're just using him, and calling the show "Loki" to capitalize on his popularity, and that's about it. But otherwise, this show has nothing to do with him personally, as a character. It's got nothing to do with his own, personal growth. It's got nothing to do with his own, personal struggles. It's got nothing to do with his actual history within the MCU. It's just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo about the multiverse and Kang and the branching timelines. This is part of Marvel's problem these days. Everything is just a set up for the next movie or the next show. Instead of focusing on just telling good stories with the characters they're using, about the characters they're using, it all has to be a prelude to some big, universe spanning BS event.

They also had a scene, apparently, where Loki gets into an argument with Mobius about who "won" the fight between him and Sylvie at the end of the first season, and of course Mobius has to say it was Sylvie who won, while Loki gets all defensive and tries to claim it was a draw, because she's just better at everything than Loki, and Loki is an insecure, narcissistic little bitch. She's the better one. Obviously.

I heard that Loki doesn't get AS emasculated in this season as the first, but that's a pretty low bar to clear, since every other scene in the first season was him getting emasculated.

Also, it's just, every clip I've watched from this season still has Loki acting out of character. Why the hell does he RUN from the TVA agents in that scene in the hallway. He doesn't have that power repressing collar on. He should easily handle their asses. But as usual, Loki has no power when it's inconvenient for him to. And like, look, I love Tom Hiddleston. I think he's an amazing actor. But they're obviously directing him to try and be "funny", and it's lending an exaggerated, unnatural quality to his acting. It's been this way since the first season, and really since the dumpster fire that was "Ragnarok", where his movements are these over the top, exaggerated gestures, his line delivery has this forced, fake quality. His expressions look more like he's pulling faces than conveying any sort of nuanced or subtle emotion. It just feels like he's satirizing Loki instead of actually becoming Loki, and it sucks. I don't feel like I'm watching Loki, I feel like I'm just watching Tom Hiddleston acting like an idiot. Loki shouldn't be this clownish character. He can be funny, but his humor should always be understated, because Loki himself is an understated character. A master manipulator, someone who's always several steps ahead of everyone else, someone who's smarter than everyone else, someone who relies on trickery and deceit and misdirection to get what he wants done. Not this flailing around, desperate, overly emotional cry baby that they've made him into. It's unbearable to watch, and it's had a negative impact on Tom Hiddleston's acting to boot.

[woodchipp]

I find this particular response I received the other day very interesting because

"what is his point of living? why SHOULD he not die?"

is a question I genuinely found myself asking by the time me and my friends finished playing the game. After thinking about it a bit more, though, I realized that the question I was really asking was not "Why should he not die?" but "Why should I care about whether he lives or dies?"

And I think the answer ties into one of OMORI's (many) problems - Sunny isn't really a character. He has no personality to speak of. At best, he's a crude checklist of #relatable traits (shy, depression, low self-esteem) you're expected to form an emotional connection with purely on the basis of him having said traits (i.e. "he's just like me fr fr") even though we're never shown or told how he became that way in the first place and these traits alone don't constitute a character's personality - they inform it. At worst, he's a meat puppet present in the game only because the player needs a viewpoint character.

Technically, the biggest amount of "characterization" Sunny gets is Omori's big LTG speech in the final boss fight. And even then, I can't call it characterization in good faith because most of the information revealed about Sunny via the speech didn't factor into the story much right until it suddenly became relevant as a weapon his self-loathing uses against him.

For example, one of Omori's points is that Sunny keeps falling back on his friends to take care of him since he's the baby of the group, which implies that Sunny is insecure about being babied around by his friends

But Sunny doesn't undergo any development to address this problem over the course of the game. The story never puts him into situations that'd force him to assume responsibility and allow him to change the perception of himself as the group's "baby". Even on the Sunny route, where he's supposedly meant to be working on his issues, he's almost entirely passive (e.g. Kel has to tell him to jump into the lake to rescue Basil even though Sunny instantly diving in himself without any input from Kel or the player would've shown him as more altruistic) and the plot gets driven forward by pretty much every other character except Sunny himself. Additionally, when put into a situation when he could at least try to comfort a close friend and thus show that he cares (i.e. Basil's breakdown on Three Days Left), the game forces you to walk away instead. What does that say about Sunny?

This brings me to another point I consider to be relevant to what I'm trying to say - Omori, Sunny's depression and irrational self-hatred who spends the entire final battle convincing him to kill himself, isn't even wrong in his criticisms of the latter. Believe it or not, the story itself actually lends credence to a couple of his points

"You've never done anything for anyone else."

Sunny's aforementioned passivity aside, most of his interactions with his friends before and during the events of the game - and mind you, they're meant to establish the group's supposedly Strong friendship - consist of his friends and his sister doing everything they can for him. Mari allows him to sleep in her own bed when he has nightmares and takes the fall for him after he breaks one of their mother's vases. Basil gets the idea to gift Sunny a violin for Christmas and the entire group pitches in to make sure the violin they buy is a good one. Basil stages Mari's death as a suicide, keeps mum about Sunny's desecration of the photo album and takes the brunt of Aubrey's abuse for four years purely for Sunny's sake. Hero takes care of all the chores around the house Sunny had to do on One Day Left.

Indeed, Sunny is never shown doing anything of the sort for them.

"Your friends are wrong about you. The person they love isn't you at all."

"You let them believe in a lie to protect yourself."

This is self-explanatory - Sunny went along with Basil's cover-up and thus lied to his friends by omission - but what interests me the most about it is the "Cherish" action, exclusive to this fight. By recalling the supportive and inspirational quotes he heard from his friends and his sister over the course of One Day Left, Sunny replenishes his HP and stamina in full, along with calming himself down emotion-wise.

There's just a problem with this, though - Sunny's friends offered him their support without the knowledge of how Mari actually died. They were convinced that Sunny is struggling with Mari's suicide, not that he's wrestling with well-earned guilt over committing manslaughter. We don't know whether they would've supported him all the same if they knew the truth, and the game doesn't provide an answer either since the group's reactions to Sunny's confession are left ambiguous.

Simply put, Sunny is twisting his friends' words, taking them out of context to make himself feel better. The support Sunny received is built on a lie.

The exact same lie Omori points out.

"Cherish" is also the only way to survive in this fight. Omori points out that the support Sunny's using is based on him lying to his friends by omission, and the only rebuttal Sunny has to Omori's solid point is to keep using said support. peak writing

And just as the cherry on top, the game's "True" ending - and the best outcome for Sunny - indicates that he dropped the bombshell on his friends shortly before moving town, consequently leaving Basil alone to deal with whatever consequences the fallout would entail... which is exactly what he did after he ruined Basil's photo album. (granted, he couldn't have known that Aubrey would see the scribbled-over photos, but still, ruining your best friend's most precious belonging like that and then essentially ghosting them is a shitty thing to do either way.)

Oh, and the method you use to obtain the additional secret cutscene is worth mentioning too - you have to water Basil's plants in Sunny's fake dream world. Sunny doesn't help Basil in the real world when he actually has the chance to and Basil clearly needs it, but seems to be content with thinking about doing something good for his dream self while the real one is suffering.

Not only is Sunny an empty husk of a character, close examination of the game's story paints a picture of him being a shitty person as well. I can't say he has a character arc - he does shitty things to the people we're meant to consider his friends and the game invents convenient ways for him to avoid taking responsibility every time despite the story revolving around his need to accept his responsibility for Mari's death.

So, really, why should I care about whether he lives or dies? Because he's a cute boy? Because he's mentally ill? The game never gives you a legitimate reason to root for Sunny and care about his welfare, yet is predicated on that.

[meirimerens]

hi, i know you headcanon some pathologic characters to be homosexual, like Daniil, Artemy, Yulia, Stakh... what do you think their relationship with their sexuality were throughout their lives? also, i remember in one of your older answers you mentioned Daniil coming out to his mother... how exactly did that happen in your vision?

hello darling this reply has made tumblr give me that "there was an error processing your post" over 15 times now for no good reason. it's like it was too big at first but this is the same length and if you read this it means it sent. anyways.

i had posted something kiiinda similar here (below the cut) including bi characters (eva + the twins) but i had forgor to include stakh + by god i can repeat myself/elaborate (i love. repeating myself <3 for real honestly especially on this) so ooh baby here we

Dankovsky (longest because i'm writing about him so the thoughts are many) knew at a young age (like 11-12) he didn't like girls and instead did boys so he had to come to terms with it in some way Pretty Quickly. to me he was raised christian eastern orthodox, which like all christian denominations comes with its fair share of religious-specific homophobia, he wasn't particularly like. Thrilled per se. + the familial/ancestral culture comes with its own set of expectations around masculinity which homosexuality inherently challenges and the fact that he was already more into cello than like war as a kid made his father raise an eyebrow on him right. so from ages like 11-16, dankovsky was like Well i'm going to have to pretend i don't see it and hope the sky doesn't fall on my head. at around 17 it became evident that was IT really that truly what he was and there was nothing he could possibly do to not make it be this way. it came with a sort of like. acceptance that it just was going to be how it was, but he was already starting to think how he could push the Acting on It part long enough for him to maybe become busy with something else. i think as he grew up he shed the concept of "sin" as he actualized himself atheist so no "hate the sin love the sinner" for him, but you can't really pull the religious guilt out of a man raised religious ykwim. eventually as he accepted that He Was, and that by god it wasn't even a bad thing to be/started Embracing it as one more of his Transgressions (when it. not really is, a transgression comes with a degree of consciousness and will to violate a law or code, the fact that he's gay is just. how it is. that's him forever and that'd be him regardless of context etc), he started assimilating gay codes for himself (the red tie…) to be like. Yes. ykwim. he still had not met a gay person in his life so it truly felt like Him Against the World, but he started being more comfortable with the fact that he was gay. however, it still didn't stop him from started a whole… "i'm not in a relationship rn bc i'm focusing on my studies" mindset. at uni, he truly like. came into his own internally while still trying to maintain a certain ambiguousness outwardly. andrei saw right through that and, even if he's like not gay but bi, he was the first dude daniil met who was also (Loudly) into dudes. dankovsky owes andrei the first like. actual coming out to Someone else than his mommy when andrei would bait him into hanging out with other gay and bi men, dankovsky would sit in a corner not fuckin wit anyone just Soaking In The Homosexuality In The Air, and when andrei went "u got a problem with that? you homophobic?🤨" dankovsky had to go like "i don't have a problem with it at all… when it's other people" [implied: i might deal with it not too well when it's me myself]. and from that point on he was like ah fuck me [not literally] why do i bother being insecure about it. from ages 20+ he was still very much in his Married To My Work Era + as he founded Thanatica he tried to lay low to not get investigated and being very loudly homosexual was not the best way to "not make waves" so even as he settled in himself with the fact that Well he's gay and he's gonna be gay forever so he better live with it, he still stayed closeted for his safety. i think from ages 18 to current game-day 28, not getting laid pardon the frankness led to him developing like an internally Fucking Crazy relationship with love and eroticism and he might have kept himself from entering relationships because he needed someone who Understood He'd Want To Eat Him. (love wins!)

re:coming out to his momma i think she had had her Doubts for a while yknow has had her Doubts. his dad too, but from his dad's perspective it felt deeply Painful (bc when the son is gay it is the father's masculinity that is threatened.. i've spoken about it on the post i've linked in the beginning) whereas his mom didn't have that My Masculinity Threatened. dankovsky knew he was gay since age like 11-12 but only came out at around 14-15, when it became obvious for him and hard to ignore, especially as people begin to have little boyfriends and girlfriends at this age. he told his mom first because he was closest to her and she was like.

she believed him from the beginning because she had had her Doubts. for a while she didn't quite know what to do with this information as it all dawned on her that it likely meant no grandkids, no daughter-in-law to whom she could give her pretty jewelry and so on… but also i think she like. could relate her son's homosexuality to like. fucking Tchaikovsky. who attempted suicide because his marriage to a woman made him so miserable. so she was like… well. that's just how it is isn't it. she's just gonna have to make peace with it whether she likes it or not. i think eventually she came to the conclusion that she spent 9 months building him from her blood and bones and a full day putting him out in the world so it would be stupid to be mad at him for that. + that's god's doing isn't it. she can't be mad at god. and if god's mad at her son he can take it to himself. etc .

Burakh for the longest time um. Didn't know. i think he realized that about himself genuinely age 26 in the 12 days. he's going through an entire coming-of-age/coming-into-place story and i think that includes a realization story lol. i think for the longest time he just thought he didn't love anyone period. up until 20 methinks he was like "well i'm just a late bloomer". then he went to war as a medic and was like "well i'm just so fucked up in the head my mind's full of corpses that's why there's no place for love". then he went home and… lord almighty. for years he thought was just not made for love because he truly. hadn't looked the other way (he's just like me fr fr). he went from not knowing what a closet was to realizing he was in it and the door was ajar to being out and in a man's arm in the span of 12 days. he didn't really have the time to brood about what it meant for his future/himself/his relationship to his people for him to be homosexual because love slapped him across the face and he fell on his ass. as his whole story is about finding his own path and learning to cope with doing things that might not be approved of him and living with choices that are of love regardless it's truly just like. learn to cope FAST. you have way more problems. + as i think the herb brides Know i think he's not given too much grief by his community and doesn't have the religious trauma background of dankovsky. also since his parents are. well dead. he doesn't have to respond to them + his dad textually is like You're gonna have to do something boy. (and that something might displease him but that's out of his hands. and into burakh's).

.

Yulia knew early too like 12-13. she always was a tomboy as a kid and almost just like… naturally blossomed into a masc lesbian. i think from early on she was like. ok well we're coping with that. she already was going against social conventions by being an educated woman a woman in ""typically"" male professions a masculine-dressed woman so at this point the fact that she liked women that was like. well if you don't like it tough luck buddy. she always had a relatively distant (if loving) relationship with her parents so she didn't feel the need to justify herself to them + won't lie they saw it coming. they had it comin… she was not in any relationships for a while because she's kinda like Dry of a person/passionate about things most people just don't see/don't fuck with so while she is charismatic and handsome and knew she could be desired she didn't have any long-term relationship before eva because you truly need a girl who's a lil bit crazy to handle her. and vice versa. so love wins. i think that while she might not have frequented lesbian spaces like bars because her ass does not do well with crowds i think she never felt like she was So Alone like Only Lesbian on Earth. i think she did feel a sense of loneliness about it but it was also mixed with a deep sense of Well I'm Here and I'm One So Someone Like Me Exists.

.

Stakh for a little while was also that "well i'm kinda too fucked up for love" and he was also fighting for his life to be seen as a good student a good protégé a good foster son so romantic love was Far from his mind. i think he realized he was gay around age like 15-16 when it all starts to Dawn on you y'know everything Dawns on you. he was very quickly like. well that's how the cookie crumbles. i think there was a sort of immediate acceptance about the Being Gay factor but more of a restraint about acting on it because he too was like Married to The Student Behavior and didn't want to risk losing his place by isidor's side, especially since he didn't know how isidor would react to him being gay (i know what isidor did to that old man so i know he wouldn't have cared but rubin is not a mind-reader). it was truly like. well i am and i can't do much about it but i'm soo focused rn. as 18-20 came around the corner and his relationship with isidor truly felt like he was fighting for his life trying to be seen as a good student he was like I'm either going to war or becoming a monk. he was fully willing to commit to lifelong monkish celibacy because he's always been. kinda dry. kinda with issues. + i think subconsciously he was trying to not let Desire creep up on him because it would distract him from the menkhu way (nice dichotomy idiot what lies outside of it etc). he went to war [p1 lore which i abide by] and. well when you put a bunch of fit young men together away from the women of course something like this would happen. anyways he comes home having acted on his homosexuality which he is fine with + feels kinda like a weight being lifted off his shoulders but he stil hasn't tasted Desire ykwim. Want. Hunger in the lover sense. but he's like. shrugs. whatever. monk it is. he doesn't become a monk. he clings to being isidor's foster son until his knuckles go white. it ends up being for nothing. grief and anger scythe him right. and in what follows he bonds with someone who's Fucked up and who Knows Hunger and Desire and omg flushed emoji etc. (+ my belief when dankovsky comes to peter's loft to talk about god-knows-what they kinda realize pretty fast He's Just Like Me Fr and dankovsky appreciates his + peter's company kinda like he appreciated Just Sitting There surrounded by gay and bi men even if they barely talk. just knowing you're like. Not Alone. etc)

.

bit long. sorrey.

[dujour13]

18 and 22!

Thanks Romeo!! 💕I'm sorry, I wrote essays

18. They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves?

They both eat up the support and care with extra helpings on top.

Siavash is anything but stoic. He’s a cryer. When he’s got the blues, he doesn’t need to be babied but a hug and a few sensible words from Woljif can work wonders.

Once Woljif starts trusting Siavash, he’ll spill everything. His combination of smarts and low EQ means that he often finds himself trying to figure out his own feelings and getting frustrated when they don’t make sense or align with his worldview, and the funny thing is that he’ll work through it aloud with Siavash sometimes. Like “I don’t care if Gran’s gone. Why do I feel weird?”

Siavash will respond with due amounts of “poor sweetie” but most often his tactic is distraction. Still if it’s really bad he does know when, and how, to be there.

22. What does sex mean for them? Socially, religiously, what attitudes are they bringing with them? Is “virginity” something they care about? Do they want sexual experiences to occur within a certain “level” of relationship, or does that not really matter so much to them?

Desna is about personal freedom, including the freedom to be down for only one person! Siavash has had a number of flings and casual encounters especially when he was younger, but he’s mostly into sex as an act of love and profound connection. He would never call it sacred, but that’s his actual attitude. By the time Woljif confesses to him, he’s so completely in love he’s ready for it.

On the other hand Woljif learned all the wrong things on the streets of Kenabres. My personal (possibly contradicting canon) headcanon is that he’s not a virgin. People taught him to take what you can get. He hasn’t had a lot of offers, because although he’s objectively pretty attractive, the other Thieflings think of him as bottom of the barrel for being annoying and shady, which has led to some subpar experiences.

(I have headcanons. Like that Tavie was singlehandedly responsible for a little outbreak among the Thieflings and Woljif was one of the victims. Then there was someone else who absconded with his money and his best belt the next morning. Also he had a very brief, unhealthy thing with another Thiefling named Alix.)

Anyway he’s coming into this with low expectations but a sense that there’s something he’s probably been missing out on. He desperately wants the partner in crime and the benefits, but it’s not until their first night together that he starts to realize that the benefits can be mind-blowing toe-curling.

Post-ascension they both get a little giddy and start exploring their poly tendencies, but always together and always secretly a teeny bit insecure and jealous.

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Early New Year’s resolution: try to leave THREE (3) actual comments before getting on to the self indulgent wisecracks let’s goooo 🤠

1.) I gotta give it to her, reader has some unwavering focus when she has a goal in mind. I mean yeah it the goals seems to come from a place of low self esteem, but the determination is there.

2.) Lloyd is the straight up chaotic evil character in a dnd campaign. Unfortunately, his shit is pretty entertaining (to me lol)… like give the villain a few good quips and I’ll low key root for them (to have more dialogue). See also: Loki

3.) Colin seems… idk if he immediately assumed his wife cheated on him bc he’s insecure about himself/the relationship, or he’s just one of those guys that think all women are ~jezebels

MST3K style commentary under the cut 🙈

wrap the gift

Wrap??? Lady, may I introduce u to… the gift bag?

As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal,

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.

Don’t make me call my girl Kelsey 😤😤😤

He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles.

Spray him with that window anti freeze washer stuff!!! (I don’t have a car lol what is this function called??? 😫)

He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.

THIS IS SO UNHINGED. Sir, this is a parking lot not a fucking Chippendales so put your stripper money away 😒

You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away.

This is why u need those zombie cars from The Walking Dead with like pitchforks attached to the front

He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.

Ok… I’m not like living in extreme poverty or anything but u bet ur ass I’d circle around the block and then come back to retrieve this money 😳

“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”

Oh wait… nvm 😩

"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.

Wait.. not to be like “how much could a banana cost, Michael”, but are these things equivalent in price? Like, I know watches can be expensive but like dang. Imagine wearing a jeep on your wrist lol

"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"

I’m losing it lmao 🤣 yes yes he’s the villain here but I love this idgaf energy. Like, the next time a pushy salesperson (not Kelsey, obvi) says “can I help u” for the third time I’m going to say this EXACT thing in my head bc I’m deathly afraid of confrontation

"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on,"

Wow he trained at UCB huh… some impressive improv going on here.

"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy,"

She should have yes and-ed him tbh until it escalated to such a bizarre and obviously comedic scenario

"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?"

So hypothetically, if she was fucking him, would it make a difference if she got paid for it? I mean, from a husband perspective, is that really your primary concern when u think ur wife potentially cheated on u? lol

"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.

It’s the snappy comebacks for me fam 👌

"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers

Wait he’s a Harvard alum right? Maybe he wrote for the Lampoon 🤷‍♀️ Makes sense since SNL loves their Harvard boys

Tina Fey knows what’s up

Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.

3 kinds of ppl here:

Those who pretend they aren’t looking:

Those looking around awkwardly:

And me:

"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls

Lmaooo I feel like this is such a bitch boy perspective. He’s like, u might have cheated on me, but if u return this watch at least u won’t be a whore 😂 the idea of ur partner being a sex worker is somehow worse than them being a regular ol’ cheater lol

You don't understand what just happened

Me neither sis. Haha imagine if he just goes around doing this shit so he can crush his SNL audition or something lmao

Unsolicited 2

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, more dark elements to come.

Wouldn't mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

On your way out, you stop and grab a few groceries to justify your trip to the mall. You still have a lot to do when you get home and your mind’s already three steps ahead; tidy up, put everything away, wrap the gift, and the most tedious task of getting yourself done up. The reservation you made a week ago fills you with dread.

You pop the trunk and drop in the bags, tucking the watch safely between them. As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal, startling you. It’s him, that man.

“Excuse me,” he steps closer and you back away, “try not to dirty my car.”

You frown as he gets nearer and side steps you. You look around at the Lexus parked just behind your beat up Neesan. Fuck, really?

You huff and shake your head as you skirt around to the driver’s side, “you take that watch back for grocery money or–” You ignore him as you unlock the car door, “I got some spare change in my glove compartment if you really need the gas money.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.

“I might even take my wallet out if you take the coat off. Heave up the tits and–”

You growl and drop into the seat. Before you can slam the door, it’s caught and you look up at the man as his hand holds it back. Panic thumps in your chest and you pull on the handle frantically.

“What the fuck– get–” You hit the horn with your other hand, “help–”

“Oh, shut up,” he snarls and lets the door go. It snaps closed and you jolt in the seat.

He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles. You ignore him as you hit the lock switch and fumble with your keys. Why won’t he leave you alone? You twist the ignition and the engine chuffs to life.

He steps in front of your car as he reaches under his jacket. He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.

“How about a backseat handie, babe?” You hit your horn again and he winces, covering his ears, “fuck! It’s the best offer you’ll get.”

You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away. He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.

“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”

“Get the fuck out of my way,” you holler through the windshield, “now!”

You let off the break again and he stumbles out of your path. You roll on and he kicks the side of your car. You squeeze the wheel as your adrenaline pumps through your veins. As you steer between the rows of vehicles, your tears spill out at last.

You idle at the end of the column and take out your phone. You check your rearview. There’s no one behind you. Still, it’s good to be prepared. Just in case.

You breathe out and leave your phone unlocked in the passenger’s seat. You put your hands back on the wheel and continue through the lot, finding the nearest exit as you keep checking your side and rear mirrors.

As you turn onto the street, you see a flash of dark blue, the same shade as the Lexus. You putter at the red light and look over your shoulder then check your mirror again. It’s not there. You’re paranoid.

You wipe your face and sniff up your fear. You just want to get home and get everything sorted out. It was just one very strange, upsetting encounter. You aren’t going to let it ruin Colin’s surprise.

💎

"Babe, did I tell you how hot you look?" Colin purrs as he pulls out your chair.

You blush, touching your warm cheeks as you sit. You thank him as he sits across from you, the hostess handing out menus and reciting the specials. She leaves you to peruse as you hold your purse anxiously in your lap.

"Getting ready to go so soon?" Colin kids as he watches you wring the strap.

"N-no, no," you say, still uneasy.

You just want to give him his gift. It's what today's all been about yet that shadow follows you, the man from the jewelry shop calling out your extra rolls like you don't already know. At least your husband's kind enough to act like they don't exist.

"This place is nice," he says, "new job hasn't started yet."

"I know, it's my treat," you teeter on the edge of your seat "I've been saving and I just want you to know that I love you."

"Of course I know that–"

"No, no, I wanna show you and I wanna be better. I'm gonna be more active and keep up with things better," you chew your lip and unzip your purse, the fabric chafing your hips as you're reminded of the too small dress pinching your skin, "and I picked up some extra shifts."

You dig your hand in your bag and take out the wrapped box. The shiny green paper catching the chandelier above your table. You put it in front of him and sit back.

"I'm proud of you. Your new job, how you take care of me…"

"What…"

"Just open it," you insist, "please."

He chuckles and looks around, "I hope you didn't spend too much. It's been tight."

"It's not from our account, I've been saving, just don't worry about that."

"Alright, alright," he traces along a fold and jams his thumb underneath. He tears through and your anticipation has you vibrating.

As he pulls away the paper he turns the box over. He sees the jeweler's logo and gives pause, sending a look in your direction. His cheek twitches and he pops open the lid on its hinges.

"Gotta be spiffy for the new job," you say, "do you like it?"

He stares and for a moment, you're scared.

"I love it, but it must've been so expensive."

"No, no, I got a good deal and even added on the insurance so you can get it cleaned–"

"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.

"Colin, I–"

"I know, I know, it's amazing, babe, you're amazing but…" he looks up and his throat bobs, "what did I do to deserve you?"

"Me? What about you? You're–"

Your name interrupts your sentence. You freeze, the timbre throwing you off. You furrow your brow as Colin gives an equally confused look. You slowly look over as a man steps up beside you. It's that man. How does he know who you are?

"Hi, can I help you?" Colin interjects.

"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"

"I– I'm her husband, who the fuck are you?" Colin shifts in his seat.

"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on," the man continues.

"What? No, huh?" You sputter, "would you just go–"

"Babe, who is this?" Colin asks.

"I don't know, he–"

"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy," he winks at Colin, "jeez, wish you'd said something, I'd have been more subtle–"

"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?" He throws the watch down and injects himself between the table and the stranger, "you're fucking my goddamn wife?"

"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.

"No, no– I don't know him. He--" you grab Colin's arm and he rips away from you, "please, listen to me, he's just some jerk from the store–"

"And how does he know your name?"

"I don't know. I don't even know who he is, please. I–"

"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers and Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.

"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls at you, "fucking slut."

He grabs his jacket and storms out. You blink dumbly and turn to snatch your purse. The man moves into your path before you can follow your husband.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" You rasp.

"Like I said, you can call me daddy," he flicks your chin, "Lloyd works too."

You sneer and elbow past him, flinching as his hand bounces off your ass. You don't look back as you hurry away, desperate to catch up to Colin before he's gone. You don't understand what just happened.

[sanjisblackasswife]

(FLUFF/NSFW) Let’s Talk About: Gojo Having a Black Girlfriend/Wife

Fluff

This mf loves black women

Look at him

Ultimate light skin

We all know Gege said he wouldn’t be good in a relationship.

However it’s not because he’s a cheater

Why do people aim him to be a red flag do y’all even know anything about this man’s true character

But to circumstance .

But let’s say he can have a partner.

You are the first and only candidate for this man and if you turn him down he may hit on Geto

I HC Gojo as straight but I still enjoy making jokes about him and Geto being a couple

A lot of women threw themselves at Gojo but you didn’t .

Not to say you were not like other girls oh no

You wanted to sit on his cock too, but you had a standard of yourself

Tbh Gojo as a boyfriend would be like having a little brother.

He annoys

Your entire well being.

Takes your wigs (if you wear em) and plays Megan thee Stallion in the bathroom

Bro is the type to use that audio “I was out nigga’d and I will never be out nigga’d again” when he records himself braiding your hair

He braids amazingly btw

Speaking of TikTok yes he is TT Famous and y’all have an account together

Bro does damn near every couple trend just to show you off.

I’d also like to add Gojo didn’t start off showing you off you actually hid y’all relationship from anybody for about a year

He told you off rip he didn’t want many people to know about you just yet becasue he knew you’d probably be a target. If you didn’t agree to that then it’s curtains for your relationship

But since you were so understanding Gojo actually cherished that.

Hiding the relationship wasn’t that hard. He was a busy man and you were a busy woman so if anybody saw y’all together it was pretty rare.

Lowkey killed him though after a few months because he really wanted to do some PDA.

LOVES PDA

Love love LOVE

Lingering touches, butt slaps, kisses, whatever he loves it.

If you’re not into it he’ll try some self restraint but don’t get mad if he loses his mind when y’all get home

Would love to have kids with you!

“I’d call them my 2 piece and a biscuit.”

“The hell is wrong with you.”

“Little mocha babies…”

“CAN YOU—-“

Loves calling you mama(s) or mommy

If you like it it’s fine but if you don’t it’s worse because then he’ll keep going

Despite his confidence he can be very insecure sometimes

You didn’t even know this man could have such a low view of himself but that was about 2 years into the relationship he finally revealed the real him

Yes two years and that’s if y’all already been friends years prior to going out

He doesn’t open up easy but he learns to trust you

Some days he comes back to exhausted and mentally drained but he keeps a fake smile for you.

But you Seen right through his BS.

You don’t try and push any issues too far but you show with action you’re there. Some days you just grab him and place him on top of you on the couch, take off his blindfold and rub his back and hair

He’s gotten real emotional a few times when you did it, mostly because you’ve done it on days he just needed a hug.

You’re his literal teddy bear because of this.

He’s 6’7” so he towers over you when he slings his body on top of yours. He also throws you around a lot

“PUT ME DOWN MF—AH!”

He’ll pull your shorts down and give you brown booty a nice slap before rubbing it a little

“Shut up we’re taking a nap.”

Gojo really loves how you cook btw

Moreso what you bake

Mans has a sweet tooth out of this world so if you are a baker you’re now his personal chef.

Also don’t think the love you have for him is one sided he definitely shows his love for you too. He may be an ass sometimes but he’s an amazing listener.

His advice is usually what’s helps you best. Granted it’s not always what you wanna hear but Gojo is an exceptional listener and observer so if you ever feel bad it doesn’t go unnoticed by him

Can I also add y’all have so many inside jokes omg

The amount of references y’all can do in a conversation is so amazingly scary

Also once a month or so Gojo looks for a new show for you both to binge, and discuss about

Y’all are currently watching Hunter x Hunter together

“Killua would be an excellent student of mine.”

“He’d hate you.”

Dating him is like dating your best friend.

Gojo really likes to just have dates at home, you both cook together, play some video games , and just joke around

Not to say he won’t take you out he most definitely will though.

“I got you this dress be ready by 9…and don’t wear panties.”

“HELLO—“

Nsfw

Gojo is a pervert…he really is.

You didn’t know how bad it was when he was once really drunk and showed you his photo gallery to show you some memes he saved but accidentally showed the album of lewd photos of you on there.

“Oh! Ooooh! Oh this wasn’t the video…haha.”

A whole video of him recording you getting pounded from the back

“SATO—?!”

“Sorry…you look hot though lookit!”

Panty sniffer

Panty stealer

Takes the panties you wear when you’re on your period to replace them with thongs

“My pad wont fit—“

“It’s okay just wear a towel.”

You hate him sm

He casually makes remarks about sex

Like just randomly on a Thursday morning during breakfast

“Baby tonight when you suck my dick can you also sit on my face? I promise you’re not heavy.”

Like mf we are eating French Toast watching Sponegbob what’s wrong with you.

Speaking of being heavy he likes to pick you up and fuck you on the wall

Like

ALOT

He is most definitely the “Gentle lover but fucks you like a beast” trope

Wont admit it but loves eating your ass

He does very long licks when eating you from the back just to lick you ALLLLL THE WAY.

He has asked if you wanted to get your pussy pierced too.

He seen it in a porno and thought it’d look so hot on you.

“But—“

“No.”

Still asks like once a week

Gojo is a Butt man.

That’s why he loves doggy style with you.

The way your pretty melanin is so shiny and wet jiggling off of Gojo’s pelvis makes him so turned on he sometimes can’t last too long

“Fuck baby I’m cuming!” He whines as he slams behind you harder gripping at your thick hair.

His hand is never not on your butt

Ok one more thing on him being a pervert

He really likes taking pictures of you

Like ALOT

Sometimes you’ll know and other you won’t

Which are his favorite.

He has a few videos of you touching yourself without your knowledge and because of this he has 2 phones, one for when he’s out and that other phone hidden where nobody can steal it.

Really wants to make a sex tape with you

Like so bad

He doesn’t even use porn anymore to jack off he’d rather look at a video of you moaning his name

He’ll never admit it but he wants to be dominated by you so bad skshdhdiek

Why do you think he’s so teasing?

Your attitude is the most attractive thing about you and seeing you possibly snap at him one day and have him crying for more is something he hopes for you to do.

Also wanna know what he gave you for your birthday?

A dildo that was molded into the same shape of his dick

“Here! So then when I’m away you can help yourself!…still not as good as the real thing though eh eh.”

This mf is a menace.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

Hey bestie can u make a eren x reader one shot where eren just won’t let the reader move on🙃

thank u anon for this lovely idea

scumbag!eren x crybaby!fem!reader

WARNINGS: dubcon/noncon, past toxic relationship, slut-shaming, possessive behavior, yandere tendencies,

WC: 1.8k

He pins your wrists against the dingy bathroom tiles with an unrelenting grip, and you swear you've never felt more claustrophobic in your life.

The dark-haired boy eyes the glitter on your cheekbones, the neon-colored eyeliner, the rogue on your lips, and the black satin of your mini dress exposing a substantial amount of plush thighs. He's never seen you like this-never allowed you like this before.

You almost feel like uncharted territory but nothing escapes his observant nature. From the tremble of your lips, and the water starting to collect in your lower lash lines, Eren knows this you. Maybe not who you were pretending to be in the strappy heels, low neckline, and the party-girl masquerade you put on in front of your shallow ditzy friends, but he knows who you really are. Vulnerable. Scared of your own shadow.

"E-eren,' You stammer, "Please let me go." You try not to think about the voice cracks, trying to sound as assertive as you could without meeting his eyes. Eren, of course, thinks you look like a baby mouse. Hopeless and trapped.

"Don’t you miss me?" He mummers into the nape of your neck. You have an explosive No prepared in the roof of your mouth, ready to sound out the single syllable, until his hand, adorned with chunky silver rings, covers your mouth, muffling your whimpers. You could taste the metal.

“It’s a rhetorical question.” He’s smirking, green eyes lit up dangerously under the too-white bright lights, “Let me talk okay? I just want you to listen.”

All you’ve ever been doing is letting him walk and talk over you. And then when you finally got the nerve to stand up for yourself-

“I haven’t seen you the past three months” his low voice interrupts your contemplation, “It’s like you’ve been ignoring me.” He finishes flatly, his thin lips stretched into a line. His multitude of ear piercings catches the light, glinting sharply.

It’s too overpowering, his close proximity after going cold turkey. His presence is like a drag of a cigarette after not smoking for months. Hurts your lungs but the remnants of what you used to feel with the sudden rush of nicotine bubbling up again. Because when all is said and done, you’re still deliriously attracted to him. And you hate yourself for it.

You try to focus on the other sensations, sensations that aren’t busy on the feel of his warm breath or his hands holding yours down. You can still hear the song playing from the club.

All my bitches feel like I dodged the county

Fucking with you feel like jail n——-

Yeah, it really did.

Changing tactics, he holds you by your neck instead, giving your aching wrists sweet relief but that relief is nothing compared to the panic of having his beefy hand on your thrumming pulse.

His grasp wasn’t tight. You could breathe, but it was the kind of tight that let you know he would go tighter if you didn’t listen properly. React properly.

“You’re fucking ignoring me again” he’s practically growling the words out, baring all teeth, “I know I’m pretty difficult to tune out, so I would like to know what the fuck you’re thinking about.”

His hand leaves your delicate throat- his knee between your thighs keeps you in place- to roam down the satin of your dress, the fabric clinging to every curve. You hate how scrutinizing his viridian eyes are, feeling a wave of insecurity wash over the previous hot-girl-summer confidence.

He hated how good you looked on the dance floor, laughing with your stupid friends like you had lost all your inhibitions. Hated that you looked so good, everyone could see it. Hated how you didn't notice his eyes boring holes into you. Do you remember the time how you used to be hyper-focused around him? Aware of every movement, aware of every tonal shift?

And now you didn't even look at him.

"Are you thinking of other guys? I saw you grinding on those men like a slut." He presses his body deeper, "Have you fucked any other guys since we broke up? You must have. I know how slutty your pussy is"

You bite down on his hand. Hard.

You're counting on his reflexes, for him to retract his hand and give you an opportunity to run to the door. But Eren has been fighting for years and predicts your maneuver. With a calculated sidestep, Eren lets go of his hand, before promptly slamming you against the bathroom wall again but this time front-first.

Clouds dance in your vision, and you're sure you would have fallen by now if not for him holding you up. Eren uses this newfound position to his advantage by groping your ass, rutting his dick against your backside.

Deciding to be petty, you let the spite-coated venom escape your pretty lips, "Yeah. I fucked so many boys, and they were so much better than y-"

Anger blinded him. Roughly, he turned you around to face him once more, forcing you to look up at the green-eyed monster. He flipped your dress up, nearly ripping it during the process, shoved your lacy panty aside, and plunged his fingers inside. He felt a visceral sense of validation course through him at finding wetness coating his slender fingers to your utter mortification.

"Liar. I know you haven't been fucking anyone else." His smile is all teeth, pearly white and sharp,

You gulp, feeling sweat beading down your neck and arousal pooling at the bottom of your stomach. Damn yourself.

"You don't know that."

He looks almost feral, green eyes in slits and hair all mussed up, falling out of his usual bun. The top few buttons of his black button-up are left unfastened giving you a gracious view of his smooth muscular chest, and the dangling silver cross-chain.

"No, I do. See a little birdie told me all you've been doing the past few months is crying yourself to sleep, and eating frozen meals. This is the first time you've been out since I broke up with you, huh?" Condescension drips with every word.

He thumbs away the tear falling down your cheek with a mocking kindness and adds, "There, there. Don't cry. Good thing I happened to be here tonight, right?"

You're full-blown crying now, too upset to care if you're smudging your make-up. This is the real you. This is how Eren remembers you.

"Awe, my precious little crybaby, don't worry. You came here tonight looking for dick? I'll give it to you. It's okay," He coos, breath tickling the shell of your sensitive ears. Well, every part of you felt sensitive right now.

You're rubbing your eyes, sniffling, "E-exactly. You b-broke up with me, so why are you here? Why can't you just let me be?"

The dark-haired boy sighs, and with an uncharacteristic softness, leans his head down to press his forehead against yours, and intertwines his hand with yours, noses almost touching.

"To be honest, it was just to teach you a lesson." A soft exhale, "I didn't think you'd actually stay broken up with me." He's crushing your fingers now, "Didn't think we'd be broken up with for real."

Your eyes flash with indignation, feeling your body surge with an emotion you couldn't qualify, "I don't care. Yeah, I was sad but god, you were a terrible boyfriend! I'm so much better off without you. All those lonely nights are still better than any night I've ever had with you!"

You're breathless by the time you're done.

"Done with your little monologue?"*

You can feel your shoulders shaking, and you almost want to laugh from the indecorousness of it all. How could he not care? Was this how little you mattered to him?

"I know you're lying because" Without any preamble, he shoves his fingers inside of you again, finding that spongy spot that made your knees weak, eliciting a soft moan from your downturned mouth, "You're wet. And you want me."

"In fact," an edge of excitement colors his voice, "I bet your insides are still molded to fit my dick."

It's hard to talk when one thumb is violently brushing over your clit, and his tongue is forced into your mouth, drowning any whines of protests. You close your eyes, focusing and unfocusing. A hand snakes up your dress to fondle your tits and tease your perky nipples.

It's just one sensation over another, and your sex-deprived body was welcoming all these feelings with open arms. Eren knows your body like it came with an instruction manual and that manual advised him to bite your earlobe, which was especially sensitive. He knew where on your collarbone you liked to be marked, how hard you wanted your nipples pinched, and how you could ride his face with complete abandon.

But right now, he didn't want to pleasure you. He's coaxed enough orgasms out of you throughout your relationship.

He unbuckles his belt and frees his long slender cock, the head a flushed angry red, dribbling with precum. He lines his full-mast cock to your entrance. Fully alert as to what was about to happen, pretty pleas of "no Eren, please don't, no" are falling out of your mouth, wide starlit eyes dotted with pearlescent tears. He kisses the top of your head like the way he always used to.

And then he thrusts himself inside. You give up so easily, he thinks. Do you even realize how you're swinging your hips on your own accord? How you're wrapping your lush legs around his waist to pull him deeper?

His pace is ruthless, making your head bob up and down. Moans and grunts drown out the music from the club. You're begging him to slow down.

"You're mine. Always mine. Always were. Can't fucking believe you really thought-" He doesn't even finish his thought because a violent shudder rips throughout his body.

Your nails are digging into his back, so sharp it could have been clawed. You could feel yourself right on the edge-

The door shakes to reveal a tall young man with slicked-back blond hair with a frat-boy laugh.

"Holy shit! Eren?!"

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckcufkcufkcufckfuckfuckfuckfuc

Shame burns your face. You have no choice but to cover yourself behind Eren's broad frame. You're just hoping to every god he'll go away, and keep this to himself.

Your dark-haired ex-boyfriend turns around to face the blond, "A little busy here, Porco. Shut the door. I'm uh, getting reacquainted with someone."

"Goddamn. Is that ___" You don't even have to look at Porco to recognize how impressed he was.

"Get out Porco." Eren growls.

The door closes with a loud thud.

You're borderline hysterical at this point begging Eren to get out of you, but his grip on your hips is iron-tight.

Outside you hear stunned gasps, but one phrase stands out to your straining ears: "Yeah, I guess they're back together."

Eren kisses the top of your head once more, "After I fuck you, we'll go home together girlfriend."

----------

* {A/N}: This line "Done with your little monologue?" is inspired by this delicious fic by @hotwings0203.

[seita]

girls like you | (m.)

pairing: hanamaki/f!reader

genre: smut, fluff

wordcount: 2.526

cw: dilf!makki, college!reader

tags: age gap, loss of virginity, virgin kink, pussy slapping with dick, multiple orgasms, mildly wet and messy, dirty talk, mating press, sensitivity kink, squirting, brief aftercare

+ note: this is my installment of @kaijime's dilf collab!

summary: you never expected to find yourself in bed with your moms ex boyfriend, or for him to have a thing for sweet little college girls like yourself.

“God, this is why I love pretty little college girls like you,” he groans, looking at you splayed across his bed. You were in just a simple pair of panties, arms tucked across your chest to cover your breasts.

You shudder beneath his gaze. His eyes are lidded, bottom lip tucked between his teeth. You never thought you’d be in a position like this -- especially with Takahiro Hanamaki of all people.

You knew him years ago, he had been dating your mom for a few months. You two actually got along really well before they suddenly broke up and you were forbade from seeing him again. 

The last thing you expected was to run into him on the street in the city you moved to for college. And you certainly didn’t expect a casual dinner to turn into you pretty much naked on his bed.

You had never even had a boyfriend before, so to wind up in this position with a man twice your age was surreal. But the longer he stared at you with those sharp, heated eyes, the wetter your panties became. 

His words run around in your head. Of course, you knew younger girls -- girls your age, always threw themselves at Hanamaki. You were pretty sure that was a reason your mom dumped him -- too much insecurity caused from it. 

But to hear him pretty much confess that he liked to bed college girls made you squirm. 

“Bet you’re dripping into those pretty panties, aren’t you?” he breathes, “Move your hands, let me see you.”

You whine and slowly force your arms to your sides, fighting the urge to cover yourself once more as his eyes landed on you. You felt so exposed and vulnerable. 

“Hiro…” you whimper, making his heartbeat speed up for a split second at the sound of a sweet nickname falling from your lips.

“I’ve dreamt about this for so long,” he whispers, reaching behind himself to pull his shirt over his head, “You have no idea…”

“H-How long?” you manage to ask, eyes raking across his body.

He’s not fit or anything like you remember seeing him in pictures when he was in highschool. He had long since abandoned volleyball and his body had begun to show his age. He wasn’t unattractive by any means, he was filled out in all the right places. His skin looked soft and his biceps bulged with every movement he made. 

“Since I was with your mother,” he grumbles, finally working on his belt, pulling the leather out of the loops on his jeans.

“What?” you gasp, eyes wide, “I-Is that why you broke up?”

He pauses what he’s doing to look at you, shrugging after a second, “Not entirely…” he sighs when he sees that you’re not willing to let the conversation go, “You know how your mother is...she’s jealous of everyone. Even you.”

“Seems she had a reason to be jealous of me,” you mutter, biting your lip to fight back a smile.

It was no secret between the two of you how toxic your mother was. She was vain, always believing she had to be the prettiest, most important person in a room. It really put a strain on your relationship when she started to force those ideals onto you -- be the perfect daughter to the perfect mom. When you moved away, you pretty much stopped contact with her.

“Well, you are a threat,” he whispers, reaching down to grip your thighs. You squeal as he tugs you to the end of the bed, “Just look at you, darling, you’re just stunning...perfect body...pretty tits.”

“Hiro…” you whisper, squirming on the bed as you await his next move.

“Let’s get these off,” he hooks his fingers into the band of your panties, pulling them down your thighs. 

Strings of slick connected your pussy to the fabric. He couldn’t help but moan at the sight. He brought your panties up to his face, thumbing the wet material, your juices stuck to his finger when he pulled away and he couldn’t help but bring the digit to his mouth.

“Fuck, taste so good,” he growls through his teeth, “And you always did wear the cutest little panties.”

“Huh?” you manage to gasp out through the haze of lust that had taken over you.

He chuckled darkly, letting your panties fall to the ground, “You never noticed how your panties went missing all the time? Couldn’t help steal them when I found them in the laundry basket.”

You giggle, hiding your face behind your hands, “Dirty old man.”

He barked out a laugh, finally dropping to his knees, gripping your thighs to pull them apart, letting him see your glistening folds, “And you’re a needy little slut, aren’t you? Getting off on fucking this old man.”

You bite your lip and peek out of your fingers at him. It feels so lewd to be like this, having your legs spread apart with a man twice your age between your legs. He had a kid just about your age, yet there you were -- letting him spread your sensitive little cunt open so he could stare at your pulsing hole and clit.

“Seriously…” he finally gasps out, “Young girls like you...fuck, you’re always so sensitive and get so fucking wet...I feel like an addict.”

“Hiro…” you whimper, reaching down to wrap your hand in his graying hair. It was softer than you thought it would be, “I-I’ve never done this before...you know?”

He curses under his breath, “Yeah, I know sweetheart...trust me...I know,” he presses a kiss to your ankle, “I’ll take real good care of you.”

You whimper as he suddenly leans in, swiping his tongue between your folds. Your entire body tightened as he flicked over your clit. He didn’t mind your hand tightening in his hair -- not when you were arching desperately, already grinding your hips down in search of more stimulation.

You were so sensitive and wet, gushing into his mouth. He eagerly lapped it up, bringing his hand up to quickly sink two fingers into your cunt. You gasped and your body tensed up for a moment, prompting him to pull away.

“Does that hurt, pretty baby?” he coos, keeping his fingers still for you as you whimper and nod, “Sorry, baby...didn’t think about how it might be too much for you.”

“‘S okay…” you mumble, body slowly relaxing, “Y-You can keep goin’.”

He grins, wrapping his lips around your clit once again. He keeps his finger’s movements to a minimum, not wanting to overwhelm you too quickly. You sigh and moan happily, thighs twitching at the pleasure he’s giving you.

“‘M gonna make you cum,” he whispers, circling his tongue around the hard little bud. 

His fingers sped up, crooking up to hit that tender little spot inside you. You let out an adorable squeal, thighs suddenly clamping around his head. He growls in mild annoyance, using his other hand to pin you open for him to continue.

His cock is straining against his zipper, throbbing in response to your responsive body. Your cunt was tightening around his fingers and he moans against your clit, knowing you’re about to cum. Your thighs are trembling and you clutch desperately at his hair. He didn’t mind the pain, in fact it made his cock even harder. 

As you finally came, you cried out his name and it was like music to his ears. Your entire body trembled and jerked underneath him, cunt squeezing his fingers as you creamed around them. He swore he could feel your clit throbbing against his tongue.

After a minute, you began pushing him away and he did so almost reluctantly. He pulled his fingers from your cunt with a lewd squelching. Holding the digits up, he spread them apart so you could see the way your cum clung to them in sticky strings. 

You whimper at the lewd sight of it but he merely grins, popping them into his mouth with a muted moan.

“Virgins just taste so sweet,” he whispers, making your face flush hot.

With practiced ease, he grips your waist and pushes you back up the bed until your head is in the pillows. He straightens himself up and begins shedding himself of the final layer of clothes he wears. 

You squirm on the bed at the sight of his cock. It’s pretty, long and pink with a flushed red tip. Precum drools down the side which he quickly catches with his hand, stroking himself languidly to the sight of you gawking at his cock.

“You still want this, pretty?” he breathes, licking his lips as he waits for your response.

You swallow thickly and sigh. You can’t believe you’re in this position. It feels so unlike you to do something like this; lose your virginity to your mothers ex-boyfriend, a man she had forbidden you to even talk to after their break up.

But as you look up at him, you feel your cunt clench pathetically around nothing and know that you need him -- want him more than anything. 

“Please, Hiro,” you softly cry, reaching out for him.

He groans at your consent, climbing onto the bed. It dips under his weight as he positions himself between your legs. He wraps his fist around the base of his cock, shuddering under the feeling of his own touch. Slapping the thick head against your wet folds, he grins when your entire body twitches in response to the feeling.

Whining low in your throat, you grip the pillow beneath your head. Your eyes are lidded and your lips are parted as you pant under his intense gaze. 

“Hiro…” you sigh softly, watching his lips twitch in response to you whining his name. 

He feels drunk, head hazy as he strokes the tip between your folds, catching your clit and dipping into your hot little hole to watch you gush against him. 

His ex-girlfriends sweet little daughter was beneath him, damn near creaming around the tip of his cock every time he pressed it against you. You were just about the age of his own kid and it felt so taboo, so wrong. But that only made it feel more exhilarating. 

It wasn’t the first time he had sunk his fat cock into the tiny, tender little virgin cunt of a college girl. It certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“You sure you want it, pretty girl?” he groans, “Want me to pop this little cherry?”

You flush under his crude words and find yourself shyly nodding. A wide grin splits his face and before you can think twice, his hips are nudging forward, popping the head inside of you. Your thighs twitch closed at the sting but he’s quick to pin them down, rocking his hips to push more and more of his length inside you until his hips are flush against yours.

You’re panting by the time he finally stills, thighs trembling in his hold. He can feel your cunt spasming around him and he can’t help but fold your legs up against your chest, pinning you there as he slowly begins to fuck you properly.

His eyes are locked onto the way your cunt stretches around him, a thick ring of white at the base of his cock every time he pulls out. It’s mouthwatering and so cute just how responsive you are. You precious little cunt sucks his cock back desperately every time he pulls out. 

“Hiro!” you squeal, little hands slapping down onto the bed, unsure exactly what to do with them.

He smiles, taking pity on you before he leans down, taking your wrists in his hands, prompting you into wrapping your arms around his neck. The change in position allows him to grind against your clit every time he sinks in. Your thighs squeeze his sides, body keeping them pinned open as he continues to fuck you.

Your fingers wrap themselves in his hair and you find yourself clinging desperately to him. He presses his lips against yours and smiles as you moan softly into his mouth. Your entire body was trembling in his arms and it made his cock throb almost painfully.

“So sweet,” he whispers, “Does it feel good, pretty? Tell me.”

“F-Feel’s so good!” you squeal, eyes rolling back in your head as you pant.

He could tell you were getting close with the way your entire body seemed to be alight with nerves, twitching and spasming beneath him. Your back arched and your tight little cunt squeezed around his cock, making him slow his pace to avoid hurting you.

The action caused an almost disappointed cry falling from your lips but he quickly shushed you, instead changing the angle of his thrusts to hit that sweet little spot inside of you. 

“You’re close…” he whispers, looking down between your bodies to watch how soaked his cock had become in your juices, “C’mon, baby, lemme see you cum.”

“C-Can’t!” you gasp, “‘S too much!”

“No, you can do it, baby,” he encourages, “Just relax and let go for me, hm?”

A soft sob rips from your lips before you suddenly fall quiet. His eyes drift to your face and sees your lip is tucked between your teeth and your brows are drawn together. He reaches between your legs to find your clit, wet and hard beneath his fingers as he circles it.

Your mouth drops open and you release an almost timid little cry, hands reaching down to wrap around his wrist. 

Your walls clamp down around him and he curses, feeling the indicative feeling of your gushing around him, squirting against his abdomen and soaking the both of you in your cum. You’re squealing and crying beneath him, tears falling from your eyes as he continues to fuck you through the high. He pins your trembling body down, keeping you from moving as he works himself to his own high.

His heavy balls slap wetly against you every time he sinks in. His cock is soaked in your cum and the sight makes him throb, finally sending him over the edge. He freezes, sinking himself balls deep inside of your still spasming cunt, making sure to shoot his cum against your cervix. You whimper at the feeling of his hot cum filling you up but quickly relax when the two of you fall still.

Once he pulls out and works on cleaning the two of you up, he can’t resist pressing a chaste kiss against your forehead. You look so cute and sweet cuddled up in his bed, struggling to stay awake after he’d fucked you so well.

Neither of you knows what to say as he lays down beside you, pulling you into his arms. Both of you know how wrong this entire thing is but part of him knows he’s become completely and utterly addicted to you. 

The picture of his ex-wife and mother of his kid sits on his nightstand, collecting dust and you muse the outcome of if your mother found out you had fucked her ex-boyfriend as you fall asleep.

seita © 2021 | all content and its rights belong to me. do not modify or repost.

[soyouthinkucanwrite]

I can be your mirror - Daniel Ricciardo smut!

You feel insecure when you see his ex's instagram and Daniel decides to show you why you don't need to be

Warnings: smut! unprotected sex, low self esteem, etc

You were just chilling in the hotel bed, scrolling through your phone while Daniel finished taking a shower. It was Thursday night in Hungary, and media day was relatively calm (all eyes were still on Max and Lewis, after the whole Silverstone incident).

Your relationship was still new, you guys had just went public a couple months ago, and you liked that you were still discovering things about each other everyday, like how he prefers his eggs in the morning or that small scar under your chin he just noticed yesterday. Yet, some things weren't as fun to find out, like what his exes looked like.

A few fan accounts had started following you, including some F1 WAGs accounts, and you followed some of them back - you wanted to the updated, after all (or at least that's what you told yourself). The thing is, comparisons were inevitable to you - no matter how much you tried to be reasonable, low self esteem was always an issue to you. When a WAGs account posted about Daniel's ex hanging around in the paddock today and how cute her outfit was, you quickly found yourself clicking on the tag and stalking her ig. Perfect. Fucking perfect. You just have to set your own heartbreak up, don’t you? If at least you could let life do that, but no, you had to go and fall for the guy with the instagram models as his exes. You smiled ironically to yourself.

"Did you see Max shutting down that reporter on the press conference today?" Daniel said walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his torso and another drying his hair. You quickly locked your phone and looked up, startled like a kid caught with their hands on the cookie jar.

"Hum?" you asked him.

“What were you looking at?” he grinned you, throwing himself on the bed and sitting by your side.

“Nothing” you answered quickly, looking away.

“Don’t be like that. Tell me” he asked again, nudging you with his head.

“It’s nothing Dan, just silly old instagram”

“You wanna know one of the things I love most about you?” He asked before continuing. “You don’t really have filters. And even when you try to hide what you’re thinking, your face and body gives you away” He said. “That’s why you’re so perfect, you’re genuine” he touched your nose with his. “Let’s be honest with each other. Tell me what’s going on in there” Then he tried to lighten the mood saying "Can't be shirtless pictures of me that got you smirking, cause here I am in the flesh for you" you rolled your eyes but smiled at him.

“I’m laughing at myself” You said and he just looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “I’m setting myself up for heartbreak, more and more, and it’s just like me”

“What you’re talking about?”

“Please don’t say it’s stupid” you said before continuing. “You’re like, a rock star… fast cars, VIP, supermodels… these stuff are routine for you, you have the most interesting life. And you could have any girl. And your exes are like movie stars, fucking supermodels, and I'm not sure how much longer till you realize that and just, you know” you said gesturing to yourself and waving your fingers in front of your throat like who says 'abort mission'.

"I should know better, I really should and this might be nothing, but the deeper we get in this, the harder it's to wrap my own head around it and it’s so stupid, but how can anyone compete with that?” You weren’t making any sense, you knew and he was looking at you with his eyebrows raised and lips pressed, like he was holding a smile. “I’m rambling, forget I said anything it's so stupid” You said hiding your face behind your hand.

“I thought you said it wasn’t stupid” He said opening up a smirk and you opened your fingers to look at him. He pulled your hand down. “But you’re right, it is fucking stupid, because there’s no competing with you. I don’t care if I have to repeat that a thousand times for you to believe me, I mean…you had to have a flaw, huh?” You turned your head to the side. “This insecurity of yours, that you’re not good enough, it’s just the most crazy thing ever. Because I feel exactly the same. I’m the one that’s not good enough for you. You’re so smart, and good and you actually do good in the world. I’m just the lucky bastard that got picked to drive in circles around the world”

“You know that’s bullshit” You said.

“I’m serious. This whole stuff, fame, whatever… doesn’t mean anything. It’s just not real. I’m glad I realized that when I did” you were watching him intently. “Racing, challenging myself, working with the team, you... what we have, those are the stuff that are real to me, what really matters".

"Okay" you nodded agreeing.

"If you must to know, the reason why I didn’t work out with anybody else, it’s because we were never more than fuck buddies. Those girls are great fun, but they're more worried about showing than being, you know? And I’m not really interested in talking about them because it doesn’t mean anything, but I’ll tell you anything you ask me” You were dying to ask him more, to know every little details and to learn from their mistakes, but you knew you’d become obsessed with comparing yourself to them and didn’t he just tell you he wasn’t interest in anything about it?

“Sorry” you said quietly.

“What for?”

“Being a nag. Killing the mood” he smiled.

“Don’t-” “you-” “dare-” He kissed your face in between every word. “apologizing-” “for-” “your-” “feelings” he pulled away and looked at you. “Specially not to me. I meant it, let’s be honest, huh?” you nodded smiling back at him. “And if I’m ever a dick, please tell me before screw things up. This is not nothing, okay?”

“Okay”

“And I’m flattered you think I could have any girl” he said grinning. “I mean, I AM pretty hot, but-”

“Shut up. You know I’m right”

“Maybe any girl who cares about that stuff, and my amazing six pack” he says laughing and kissing you.

“And hard butts” you replied laughing and reaching to squeeze his, playfully.

“And hard butts” he agreed, rolling so he was on top of you.

“Those girls are usually the hottest”

“Do you honestly don’t have a mirror at home?” he said pulling away slightly from you. “It’s okay baby” he said in your ear, lifting your shirt over your head, then nibbling at your earlobe, making you moan. “I can be your mirror” he said in a low voice, taking your hands over your head and pinning them with his own.

Then he used his knees to push your legs apart. You were following his face, trying to kiss his mouth but he was holding you down, his lips barely touching your skin now, him hovering over your neck, your collarbone, your exposed breasts. You were squirming now, trying to get some release. He just wouldn’t let you have any yet.

“You have the most amazing skin” he begin saying. “So soft” he looked up to you, you had your eyes closed now. “The most amazing boobs. Fucking perfect tits, so round… and these perking nipples, so hard when you’re turned on” his lips touched your breasts lightly, barely.

“Your hair always smells so good, it’s the perfect frame for your perfect face” He went up again and kissed your lips, biting them lightly and dragging them out. “I love your lips, I love how plumped they are. I’m kind of jealous actually” he chuckled and you opened your eyes rolling them. “And those eyes. Fuck, I know it’s the first thing anyone notices about you, isn’t it? Are you sick of it by now? So big and green. I love seeing them rolling back when you come” he brought one hand down, pulling your pijama pants down and holding both of your hands up with only one of his. “I’m getting there in a minute” he said grabbing your pussy. “I just want to tell you about your ass first” he said sliding his hand through your hips until he reached your ass, grabbing it then releasing to give it a slap. You let out a yelp. “You in the mood for a little rough love?” he slapped you again and you smiled through your moan, this is so hot. And the best part of it was that no one else knew this side of his, just you. It's petty yeah, but you decided to indulge yourself in that thought.

“I love your ass, I swear I was trying to be respectful today, but you were such a tease, on those little shorts, made me hard as soon as you walked in the paddock” he went down to suck your left boob in his mouth and you were so sensitive you couldn’t help but moan, loudly. “Yeah baby, let me hear you. Let everyone hear you” He said releasing your boob and nibbling at it. “I saw how the guys were staring at your ass today. Fuckers, couldn’t help themselves. Let them stare…as long as they know who you belong to” he said leaning down to suck on your other boob. “Tell me who you belong to” his voice was so low.

“Uh…you” You were a moaning mess.

“Huh?”

“You, Daniel! I’m yours”

“That’s right”

“Please” you begged.

“What is it? What you what baby?” he whispered against your skin.

“Touch me, please”

“But I am touching you baby” he said and you heard the smirk in his voice. “Oh, I see what you mean… you want me to touch your pussy?”

“Yeah” you nodded. At the same time this was torture, it felt so, so good.

“This fucking perfect cunt of yours” he said sliding two fingers through your lips and opening them to spread you to him, you were soaking wet and pulsating, clenching around nothing. “Fuck, look at this” He said almost to himself, licking his lips. Then he slid his fingers in, curling them up, making a ‘come here’ motion. He dipped his head down, kissing the inside of your leg, then right over your clit, taking it in between his lips and sucking. You moaned loudly. “Oh sorry baby… you wanted it rough, huh?” he sucked your clit harder, then bit on it lightly. You could scream at how much pleasure he was giving you.

“Fuck! Oh my god Dan” He started to tease you with another finger meanwhile.

“Think you can take another one?” his words sending vibrations against you and making you forget how to form words. “I know you can, you take me so well. Such a good girl for me” he inserted another finger and started to pump them in and out of you faster. “So fucking tight. Can’t wait to feel you around me. That’s my favorite place you know? Buried deep inside your cunt” that was it, you came, hard. Arching your back and hips, Daniel releasing your hands to push you down and hold you there while you came and he kept sucking and licking and biting your clit. You couldn’t take anymore, you pushed him away, pulling his hair.

“Can’t-” You tried to say. “Dan”

“Yes, you can. Come here” He said pulling away and lifting you, dragging you out of the bed and into the bathroom, the rest of your clothes and his towel getting lost in the way. He pushed you against the sink, pulling your face up, making you look at yourself on the mirror. He was pressing against you from behind, his cock leaking in between your legs. “I want you to see what I see” he said staring at you through the mirror. “Gonna fuck you so good, you don’t ever forget how fucking perfect you are” and with that he slammed inside you. “Fucking-” he had one hand on your hair and the other around you, between your folders, massaging your clit. “Fucking heaven, taking me so good”

“Ah Dan” You screamed. He started to fuck you hard and fast, pushing you against the sink. You lifted your head and looked at the mirror, it was the most erotic thing you’ve ever seen. Daniel was dripping sweat, thrusting with perfect precision. His eyes were locked on yours and you knew he was as close as you. The thought of how deep the connection between you were at that moment made you clench again and he lost it, giving you one final thrust and a guttural groan. You came again, shaking more than ever, the feeling too much this time. “I can’t-” You tried to say again. “Too much-” Squeezing him over and over, so he pulled out, still spilling, making a mess over your legs and on the bathroom floor. He was still holding you though.

“I’m right here baby. Right here” He whispered on you ear from behind. You both were riding out your orgasms, rocking slightly, your body leaned on the sink, pressing your boobs against it, and he leaning over you, breathing hard.

After you both calmed down, you tried to move but his weight was too much. You let out a weak laugh and he moved. “Sorry” he said kissing your back. When you got up, you turned to him and kissed him lightly.

“You are-” You said against his lips “amazing”. And kissed him again, lovinly. “Thank you. You make me feel so good, Daniel. Let me take care of you now”

Daniel's POV

This woman is trying to kill me. “Baby I don’t think I have it in me-” “Not like that” she smiled. “I meant with a bath” she said gesturing to the bathtub.

“Yes, please” I said already opening the tap and letting the water run. She went back to the room and returned with a water bottle, taking a sip before passing it to me. I took it from her hand and almost finished it, before giving it back to her.

“Do they have any bubbles? Bath salts?” she asked.

“Hum…I don’t think so, baby” I answered looking around on the sink.

“That’s fine” she smiled, getting in the tub and motioning for me to sit in between her legs. Her hair was up in a knot, but some of it was clinging to her neck due to the sweat. She was so beautiful, I can’t believe she wants me.

“You don’t want me to stay behind you?” she shook her head smiling and I did as she asked, leaning on her. The tap was still running, filling the tub with hot water, while we two of us just soaked in there, relaxing. “This is nice,” I said while she ran her hands through my hair. When the tub was full enough, she turned off the water and applied some body wash on my skin, running her hand over my back and shoulders, it felt so good, so comfortable, like I didn’t have a worry in the world. Then I washed her legs around me, kissing her feet and calves and making her giggle. She kept massaging my shoulders. We stayed there for good while, half an hour? More or less? There’s nothing else in the world other than this bathroom anyway, so who cares?

“Can we stay here forever?” She asked me after a while, kissing behind my neck. I just hummed in response. “Actually, scratch that. I’m getting hungry. And thirsty”

“The limitations of the human body” I said jokingly but got out of the tub after a few minutes. If m’lady wants to eat, I’m getting her food. I dried myself, wrapping a towel around me and holding hers open for her to step out of the tub.

We went back to the room, she picked her clothes from the floor and put them away in her travel bag back inside the closet. I watched as she got a fresh pair of underwear and a clean bra, while I put on boxers and sweatpants. She wore some leggings that hugged her ass perfectly, what a view. I noticed her going through her bag, probably looking for a shirt but I just wanted her to wear some clothing of mine, so I took the hoodie I was going to wear and passed it to her. She smiled and accepted it, it looked oversized on her and covered her ass, but maybe that’s a good thing, I don’t need anyone thirsting over what’s mine, I don’t care how much of a prick that makes me sound.

"Do you wanna order or go out to eat?" I asked her.

"Let's just go downstairs, to the restaurant?"

"Yeah, that's fine" I say and peck her lips.

I put on a sweatshirt, and hold the door open for her. We walk out and the temperature was a bit colder out here in the hallway (or maybe it was just too hot inside the room), so I just take her hand and intertwine our fingers, passing my arms around her and holding her closer. I just love that I can do that whenever I want.

And I plan on doing that for the rest of my life.

[cyan-skulls-writing]

Reminders (AFAB Reader)

machine herald!Viktor/gn!Reader

Possessive behavior, vibrators, overstimulation, dacryphilia, size kink, subspace, p in v, no mention of chest.

AO3 Link AMAB Reader

You get flirted with while out on a shopping trip with Viktor. He takes it upon himself to remind you who you belong to.

You love your boyfriend. Really, you do. You loved him even before he was the Machine Herald, whose wonderful prosthetic limbs and cybernetics saved countless lives, improved countless lives in Zaun. You loved him when he was just Viktor, Hextech scientist and Man of Progress. You were glad he had finally slipped his chain and taken you both back home to Zaun, no longer living in his once-partner’s shadow.

You love Viktor very much and you are very proud of him and his achievements. You try to remind yourself of this as he throws his hissy fit.

You honestly had no idea what exactly had brought this on. You both were out, shopping for groceries and some other non-essentials, (no matter how many enhancements Viktor made to himself he would always have a sweet tooth— you had as many cookies and sweet milk as you had actual groceries) and you paused to speak to an employee to ask where the almond cookies were— they were Viktor’s favorite and you were running low on supply at home.

Then Viktor, unprovoked, decided that he needed to be Scary Viktor and start looming behind you like a steel golem at your back. He placed a heavy hand on your shoulder and said “We’re going home,” and you absolutely did not shiver and start to melt at the low, rasping growl, ringing metallic through his mask.

Now he was ignoring you. He was silent on your walk home, though he kept a hand on your back the whole way.

You love your boyfriend. You love him very much.

But lights alive he can be confusing sometimes.

When you get home, he throws the groceries on the counter and promptly picks you up and throws you over his shoulder.

You yelp in surprise and wiggle in his (quite literally) iron grip, trying to escape to no avail. He says nothing as he ducks into your shared bedroom, kicks the door shut (you’re pretty sure Blitzcrank isn’t here, he doesn’t spend much time in the house, but you can never be too certain) and tosses you on the bed.

Before you can even think of getting up, he’s on you, hands on either side of your head and knees bracketing your thighs. It somehow always shocks you when you are reminded just how big he is, that angled, steel mask peering down at you with glowing orange eyes.

Fuck, he’s massive.

“Baby?” you question, feeling very small and very turned on, “what’s gotten into you?”

The sound he answers with is less a reply and more an animalistic growl as he begins to strip you of your clothes with ruthless efficiency. Shirt, pants, underwear all gone in a flash, leaving you bare underneath him.

“Viktor?”

He doesn’t answer, humming low in his throat as he drinks in your naked form, running his hands up and down your body, tender and possessive, like he can’t believe you’re real.

When you reach up to pull his mask away he doesn’t stop you. Underneath, his gaze is heated, angry, his lovely amber eyes bearing that edge they get when he faces a challenge.

“That shopkeep. He kept flirting with you. Looking at you like a prize, something to be won.”

Ah. That made a bit more sense. You knew your boyfriend had developed something of a… possessive streak, even before he started his enhancements. Before, this culminated in insecurity you had to soothe out of him.

Now, though…

“You’re mine, дорогой. Allow me to remind you.”

You were in for a long night.

Viktor wasted no time in cupping between your legs, metallic fingers dipping into your folds reverently as Viktor coos at you.

“Already so wet for me, my little love. Spread a little wider for me, now.”

You were helpless to resist, your head already threatening to float into that hazy, blissed out state, where all that mattered was him.

He laid hard, open mouthed kisses all the way from your neck down your torso, introducing his teeth every once in a while to leave you a lovely trail of bruises to look over in the morning.

He paused over your dripping cunt, hot breath fanning over you. “If you want me to stop, what do you say?”

“Red.” Your answer was immediate. No matter how far you sunk into your subspace, you always remembered your safe word.

“Good pet.”

His lips seal around your clit, sucking hard, and lapping his tongue over you as two steel fingers seek out your entrance. His flesh hand, still wrapped in his leather glove, grips your thigh to keep you spread open for him. You immediately cry out, your hands coming down to grip his hair and tug, whether you’re trying to pull away the sudden onslaught of pleasure or pull him closer is unclear.

You whine and moan as Viktor spears you on two thick metal fingers and hums around your sensitive clit. You can feel him smirking, the bastard. He scissors and stretches you open, crooking his fingers to hit that one spot that makes you see stars.

His mouth pulls away from your clit and is promptly replaced by his fingers, and Viktor begins busily licking into you instead. As his tongue curls into you, his fingers make quick circles over your clit, winding you up to the very edge of your pleasure.

Then his fingers begin to vibrate.

You wail, almost screaming as your orgasm crashes over you. Viktor presses his vibrating fingers harder into your pulsing clit, as he continues to fuck you on his tongue.

You writhe on the bed, trying to pull away from that unceasing pleasure, now edging on pain.

“Viktor— too much, too much!”

Your second orgasm comes quicker and harder than your last. Finally, he pulls away, fingers falling still. He reaches up and kisses you roughly, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He leaves you gasping after him as he pulls away to suck more marks into your neck. You had approximately 5 minutes to catch your breath while Viktor marked you up, then you heard the telltale sound of Viktor pulling open to buttons on his pants.

He heaves you up off the bed and hoists you up to ride him, knees hooked over his elbows, the tip of his cock kissing your entrance.

“Beg for it, tell me you’re mine.” His eyes bore into yours, sharp and beautiful.

“Please, please Viktor, fuck me, I’m yours, only yours—“

When Viktor had first made an enhancement to his dick, you had laughed for about five solid minutes. You had found him more than adequate before, and this particular upgrade had seemed frivolous and silly, at the time.

You were not laughing now.

Viktor held you aloft as his thick, hard cock reached deep inside you, the angle allowing him to kiss your cervix at every thrust. The ridges at the base rubbed over your g-spot at every thrust (Gods, to think you giggled about that) as Viktor began to grunt and growl behind you.

“Pretty little thing, so sweet, so naive. Everyone who meets you wants to see you like this, to have you like this. But they can’t, you’re mine, understand? Nobody else could satisfy you, isn’t that right, дорогой? No one else can fuck you like I can.”

“Yes— just you Viktor, only you— ah!”

Just like his fingers, Viktor’s cock began to vibrate inside you, the added pleasure further scrambling your brains as Viktor rearranged your guts around him. Gods, you could feel him in your throat. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes, slipping down through your half-lidded eyes. The hexclaw reaches into your hair and tugs your head back, exposing the long line of your throat.

Viktor begins to lick up the tears that had begun to fall down your cheek, peppering kisses against the side of your face in a tender counterpoint to the brutal fucking you were receiving.

You whined as you reached your third orgasm of the night, and Viktor laughed as you tightened immeasurably around him.

“How is it, little one? Does it feel good?”

You can’t possibly respond, your mouth hanging open and drooling, spilling noises which only vaguely resemble words; yes, and so good, and Viktor, Viktor, Viktor.

“Ah, lost your words already, sweet thing? That’s alright, let yourself drift, I’ll take care of you.”

You lose track of time, Viktor fucks you hard and well, keeping you stuffed full and hazy with pleasure. You lose count of how many times you cum, and only when your whines of pleasure turn into ones of pain does he stop.

He carries you into the bathroom, and heads off to get you snacks and water while you use the restroom. After, he helps you bathe and feeds you cookies and sweet milk, washing yours and his release off of (and out of) you— you hadn’t noticed him cumming, but evidently he had, at some point.

As he strokes through your hair, your eyes begin to drift closed. He pulls you out of the tub and wraps you in a fluffy towel, carrying you back to bed. As he curls around you, you feel utterly safe. Curled into Viktor’s chest, you sleep.

[rickgrimesdoingrickthings]

Indeed, Rick's nature was sweet and peaceful. However, just like peace had it's advantages, it also had its problems. Richard often avoided discussions and arguments, specially when it was about him. Defending others? Rick could become a hero. But himself? He often suffered quiet or tried diplomacy. Rick and Shane completed each other so perfectly. And he always supported him and listened to him- he never felt lonely, even when things weren't well at home. Rick was the quiet, calm type. Never seeked for friends, never did effort to fit a group- it was the opposite, often people appreciated Rick's actions and ended up approaching him. He liked friends and family, but he didn't have the need to be popular or the center of attention. He would be quiet and enjoy the company of others...and that would be good. Such a sweet introvert. Rarely Rick judged people- he needed to be quite pissed to do so and most times he wouldn't say.

Shane was the sun, the energy that had popped in his life. His energy and action did him well...inspired him...and honestly, Shane was so funny. So cool.

"You were never a problem to me, man."

Rick looked at Shane in the eyes, voice low but serious and firm.

"We all got our problems. You got yours but you got your qualities too. You're...you. It's what makes you...be you." Rick understood Shane's sense of invalidation. He always had to be tough...both of them never managed to work their emotions as they grew up- they just had each other to vent...since venting to Lori often didn't end so well.

Shane's words shook him a bit. Invincible. Shane always seemed invincible, body and mind. And to hear and realize how hurt his friend had been...all those years...so lonely. Adventures of love with different women turned into stories and jokes to tell, while actually deep down, Shane was hurt he kept failing to build...something. A stray big dog...it's what Shane seemed like now to Rick's eyes.

"I never...thought you felt that way, all those years. I never considered....simply leaving you out of nowhere. You were...you're my brother. You're my family. Never doubt it."

Rick's eyes were getting teary again. The sweet way Shane was looking after his wounds didn't help...it only made Rick get even softer. "You always seemed to be ahead...I..I always did my best to catch up...and most times I did catch up but..." He took a deep breath. "I was sleeping at that hospital. I didn't see all this...happen. You...you were out here seeing the world end- I...I'm trying to catch up...I'm really trying."

Finally he opened up, lowering his head, exhaling the tension on his chest.

"I know I'm...behind. And that to you I'm pretty much pathetic now. Damn I didn't even recover my weight yet." He shook his head. "I feel like I'm running...the fastest I can to reach you, but you're so far ahead...and you're walking so fast I can't...reach- but I'm trying...I'll slowly...I'l...adapt. Like you. I will. Just....please don't let me behind. I'll get there. I know you think I'm not made for this but I can adapt to this- I've already killed two people...three now." he sighed. "That ain't easy...it messes with your head." He softened more as Shane was done bandaging his hands.

"Yes...you're going to be a dad." Rick smiled a bit, glad to see the legit joy in Shane's eyes. But the whole situation though it hurt Rick so much. Even though he knew it was justified, all what happened betwee Lori and Shane, the emotion and fragility- it still hurt him. And since it was so difficult to channel the hate at Shane at the moment, he just pushed it against himself.

"Maybe if I was a better father, a better husband- maybe it wouldn't have happened."

He shrugged, sadly, but also happy for Shane. He knew looking after the baby would approach Lori and Shane even more. It was a fact and it made Rick so insecure. Even if he chested Shane and became better than him at everything or even if Shane promised to never approach Lori again...he knew for a fact the baby would unite Shane and Lori again. Even if a romance didn't take place, it would be such an intimate bond with HIS wife.

Rick took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. Carl too had bonded so much with Shane- the gazes, the hugs...it was so obvious his friend had become a new father figure.

"In the end what matters is...that everyone survives. That Lori and the baby and Carl survive." Rick nodded, doing so much effort to put it aside, to try to push away all that story of Lori and Shane being together- "What happened doesn't matter anymore. Now we need to focus just on surviving..like you said. No fights, no memories, no morals...just...focus on survival." Rick affirmed, trying to force himself to leave all that issue behind. But he broke. He broke and cried- pressing a hand against one of his eyes, trying to contain the sobbing. Rick just kept sitting there, crying, as silently as he could. "It's a....new start...now." Voice so shaky and weak in trauma.

Fuck. Fuck the whole situation. He hated all of it. And he felt awful for feeling that way- he felt so inferior.

Covered in blood....

Rick looked at his arm, touched his forehead. Yeah. Randall's blood was all over him- he had practically exploded due to the shot.

"Right...I better get this cleaned up...and I don't want to wake up the others." Even though the shot was loud and probably could be heard from the farm, most people were sleeping.

@deputygonebye

Finally, they had talked about it. The core of Rick's anger- Lori and Shane. Finally, the matter had been treated, in private, with both of them calm. It was hurting- all the punches, all the hits he had received from Shane- damn, he was so strong. Rick also knew that if his friend really had meant to kill him, he would be dead. No in between. Shane hadn't actually tried to murder him, he knew- he thought so. That man could be brute when he wanted- he was aware Shane could have snapped his neck with ease if he truly wanted him dead- this is why he came back for him, this is why he still trusted and counted on his brother. As he watched Shane across the fire, as he saw his best friend hurt like that...it finally started to him him, all the damage, all the emotional pain Shane went through. There were no distractions now, it was just the night, the fire, Rick and Shane and nothing else, the silence of the night with the calm forms of life. Richard remained silent all the time, giving Shane space, mental space to work his thoughts and speak. As he watched him, he observed the wounds on his rough body- had Rick actually done that? Manged to hurt Shane? It seemed unreal. The difference between their strength always had been so....crazy. To think Rick had exploded and decided to punch his friend- he was aware he was the one who had started it. He was aware he was the one who had exploded. After a deep breath, Rick facepalmed- He had pushed Shane. Pushed him a lot. Kept provoking him, despite knowing his brother had been holding back- holding back a lot, even when he had won their fight, he had just let Rick there, on the floor- not stomped him, not punched him to death, not twisted his neck. It happened twice. And even so, Rick stood and tried to attack Shane again. He felt foolish now- but he really, he really didn't want Randall to get killed like that- Rick needed time to think, and when they got back to the farm, he had decided- but he...he felt he hadn't the guts to do it- to execute- and when he had build up some courage, Carl was right there, watching. He couldn't let his son see him execute someone in cold blood-

His eyes looked golden as the fire reflected the warm light, both hands together, covering his busted lips, he watched his friend. Slowly his eyes filled with sadness and moved down, palms rubbing slowly as he tried to relieve anxiety. Then, his blur orbs got glossy. "You and Lori...I..." His voice was low. Indeed....Shane had gone through hell...being the force of survival alone, saving his family, without any support but Lori. And Lori...also alone, thinking her husband was dead. "It's...it's okay. It's okay that it happened." It's okay." That bomb, that core, that seed of hate against Shane- that cancer inside Rick's soul had finally started to dissolve. Until then, despite understanding logically what had happened Between Shane and Lori, his heart hadn't accepted it- his feelings hadn't accepted it- and that had been poisoning his soul since he started to suspect it, since he found out. "When I figured it out...and I figured out pretty quickly...I...I kept wondering until when you two would keep hiding it from me. Until when you would keep lying." Rick confessed. "I'm not..." He took a deep breath. "I'm not dealing so well with it." Richard looked Shane in the eyes and nodded. "But I will. I just need time. Okay?" His voice was different. All the hostility he had been building against Shane, all that hate, all that secret anger, all of that had been disarmed. That reaction, that defensive attitude was gone from Rick's eyes. Now they just looked sad and tired. "Yes. We're good." His voice was a lot softer, near a breaking point actually. "I also hate what happened to us." There was so much nostalgia in his eyes, looking his brother with such delicate stare. "Remember that time...well, of course you remember- there was that asshole...that had some problem with me at the academy- I still don't know why that guy hated me so much- he was always messing around. I remember that time he slapped me in the face, soon after lunch- I remember how you stepped in and just...punched him and shoved that asshole through the window, as if he were nothing- he fell right into that huge water puddle, got soaked..." Rick smiled softly. "It was...it was so awesome. I thought...'Shane is so strong, to lift that guy as if he were nothing...he was bigger than me'- I couldn't forget even if I wanted. And then, another day, that same guy cornered me, came at me, to hurt me for real- he had tried to choke me, busted my lips...he was assaulting in such aggressive way- but I knew you were keeping an eye- this is why I wasn't afraid." Rick nodded as he watched the fire. "You were for real that time. With one punch...just one...and the guy was down. Blacked out. Blacked out for good." He looked at Shane again. "That was...when you got serious. You could have killed him. Maybe if you wanted, he would be dead." Rick shrugged. "When you fought me earlier...that wasn't you being serious." He looked down in shame, curling a little bit, licking his lips, then spreading his jaw to relieve the tension of clenching it so much. "I was an idiot. I know." Rick muttered. "I'm sorry for that. I truly am. But I do think I can...I think we can keep them safe. And it doesn't have to be just me." His eyes were getting glossy again. "We'll kill him. We'll kill Randall." Rick said, in tone of defeat. "I was going to...wait. Wait for tomorrow, but..." He shook his head. "Dale is dead. If...if we had just solved it...if I hadn't brought all this discussion to the group, if we had just DONE it- he would still be here. His death is on me. And I couldn't even finish him." A tear rolled down Rick's cheek. "Dale's gone, man. Dale's gone because of me."

Talking to Shane made him see. Made him realize. Shane wasn't insane. He just could see things Rick still couldn't. Dale had been naive and his destiny had been clear. "Shane...I forgive you." He muttered. His eyes were already different. No more egotistical pride, no more spikes pointed to Shane. "I just need some time to heal it....but...it's okay. It will be okay." The man seemed to be crying, silently. He stood, walked away to the barn. A dry gunshot resonated through the night. It was fast. Quickly executed. Rick didn't even think- he kept his feelings and thoughts out of it- he did it to show Shane he would follow his part of the promise. They both had agreed young man had to die- Daryl agreed, the others agreed- the only one who voted for mercy now was dead. There was no pointing arguing anymore.

Richard came back, covered in blood- shirt and face and neck and chest stained with the red liquor, still dripping, still running down over his skin down to his chest and stomach- after blowing Randall's head up with his Magnum- such explosive, violent gun- with one of the greatest recoils, such violent shot- just like Rick, a thin form capable of lethal explosions. But now, he was calm. All hate and anger replaced by guild and sadness, but also decision. Grimes felt he didn't have to keep proving he was a leader anymore- he just had to get things done. And he had. It would be with Shane from then on. If he had told about Lori's pregnancy before- if Lori had told them before, he was sure Shane wouldn't have exploded the way he did- same with Glenn, if he had told about the barn earlier, if they had managed to talk properly, Shane probably wouldn't have exploded the way he did. Rick was starting to understand. He had seen the type of man Randall was, trying to persuade Carl, smashing that walker with pleasure in his eyes- the brutality- the fun in violence, such great red flags. He couldn't keep fooling himself, pretending he hadn't notice, that he hadn't seen it. Not anymore. His chest was shaking, his eyes seemed a bit shocked, he blinked slowly, deep breaths. He took a small roll of bandages from his pocket, moved closer to Shane, sitting by his side, taking his wounded fists gently, wrapping the bandages around his hand and knuckles, head low, regretful tears dripping on the bandages from time to time. That hate was gone. The sadness and fear though, they had stayed. "You...you're going to be a dad, man... congratulations." Rick smiled sadly as he kept his eyes on Shane's hands as he treated the wounds. He wouldn't steal the kid from Shane. It would be low and unfair. It would be so unfair. It was his- Shane had a word in it- All of them would have to sit down and talk- Rick, Shane, Lori. They would have to stop hiding things from each other-trying to steal each other's rights from the truth. They had to be fair and decide things together from now on- it was complicated, so complicated, but it had to be dealt with. "We'll take care of them. We will. We will do this together. We'll survive. Above anyone else, we have each other. You're my best friend, always been. Always will be." Rick's voice was a bit shaky, he was broken, but healing. The devotion he had in his actions, in his eyes, that wouldn't change.

@deputygonebye