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bloodorangesoup · 3 years

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Work Song | B.B.

Request: Have you ever heard work song by hozier? It gives me such bucky vibes 🥺 like imagine him waking up from a nightmare & singing it to calm him down

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.05k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, bad singing (unless you can actually sing), Bucky being a big softy

My Masterlist

Notes: Anon you need to name yourself cause you obviously have good taste in music and I kinda want some moots on here. This song is so perfect for Bucky. I truly appreciate the suggestion, it gives me inspiration of what to write while procrastinating on works in progress <3

You were awoken when the sheets and comforter were yanked off of you, shocking you awake with the chill of the night air. You squinted your eyes open only to be faced with Bucky’s back as he was sat up in bed. You could see by the rhythmic curling of his spine that he was breathing fast and heavy, prompting you to sit up with him.

“Baby,” you groaned as you stretched your back and faced him, “you alright?”

His eyes stared forward, expressionless, until he snapped out of it and looked at you with a worried face. It was almost as if Bucky hadn’t even noticed you had sat up until he heard your voice. You wanted to kiss in between his eyebrows to smooth the lines that the furrow of them had formed. You leaned towards him and laid your hand on his back, feeling the expansion and deflation of his breathing, it had calmed a bit but you could feel the still rapid beating of his heart. He opened his mouth for a second, hesitating before releasing a breath and answering.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Sorry I woke you up. There's still a couple hours left before you have to get up, lay back down.” He said, motioning with his head towards your pillow. You simply shook your head and dragged your hand from his back up to his neck and around to his cheek. He leaned his head into your cupped palm, closing his eyes at the comfort your touch gave him.

“Can we cuddle then?” You asked, more for him than you. It was an unspoken declaration in the air of “you’re a terrible liar,” but by now in your relationship, Bucky knew that if he wanted to talk about his nightmares, you were always there and ready to listen. If he didn’t want to talk then you could at least try to get him back to sleep or calm his nerves.

He answered you with a nod. You grabbed his pillow and stacked it on top of your own, giving you a cushion to comfortably lay down with your back slightly elevated. He understood what to do and without hesitation crawled over to you and wrapped his arms around your torso, laying halfway on top of you and resting his cheek on the top of your breast, right over your heart. Both your bodies shifted a few times until they found the perfect interlock with each other, sinking down into the bed.

“Do you remember that song I showed you the other day, the one you said you really liked?” You didn’t know where you were trying to go with this conversation, but you figured that getting him sleepy again would be hard, so talking about whatever came to your head might help put him down. Bucky could feel the vibrations of your voice all throughout your chest. He wished in that moment that the two of you could stay like this forever, that he could feel your sweet voice like this for the rest of his life.

“The “take me to church” one?”

“Yeah, that one. The dude who sings that has another song I really love, it makes me think of you whenever I hear it.”

“What’s it called?” He mumbled weakly. You gave him a squeeze and continued.

“Work Song.”

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed against your chest, waiting a moment before speaking, “could you sing it for me, doll?”

“If you want, but I can’t promise it’ll sound pretty,” you answered with a breathy chuckle. You wanted to comfort Bucky, but you definitely weren’t a singer. It was difficult enough to be in tune with songs, you weren’t sure you could even manage with half his body resting on you.

“It doesn’t have to sound pretty, if you sing it it’ll be perfect. Please?”

It took Bucky a long time to be okay with asking for things and accepting that receiving favors didn’t equate to weakness. You knew that him asking you to do this for him was hard and you weren’t going to let him down.

“Alright.” You cleared your throat and breathed in before exhaling quickly, cutting the words out of your mouth as your brain tried to think of how the song goes.

“Well, it starts with a low piano note and this soft clap, and there's a harmony that goes ‘hmmm, hmm mmm’ and then another clap and ‘hmm mmm’,” you explained, emphasizing every clap with a light tap if your hand on his back. You looked down at him and lifted your other hand, weaving yo fingers through his hair to gently move back and forth over his scalp. You looked back up to the ceiling with your eyes open, imagining how the stars would look if the roof was gone.

“And that part goes on for a bit…” you said into the silence of the room. As you explained, Bucky had shifted his head to rest the underside of his chin flush against your chest and looked up at you. Due to the way your face looked up he couldn’t see it completely, but he could see how the light of the moon pouring into the room cast a glow across your cheekbones and jaw. He watched as you fumbled through the intro, trying to explain to him how the different sounds come together, and he swore you had never looked more beautiful.

He drank in the way the hums of the song rattled under his chin, how you would pause for a few moments trying to think of what came next in the song. He felt your heartbeat against his throat and the rise and fall of your chest with every breath you would take before letting out another hum. He was right, you could be singing any song and it would be perfect.

“And then he starts singing, he goes,” you took in a breath before singing.

“‘Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat’

“‘There's nothin' sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me’.”

He noted how the corners of your mouth tilted upward at that last line. You weren’t singing it exactly as the song went, the melody was a bit off and the pitch was much lower than it was supposed to be, but Bucky felt like every word you sang floated out into the world, carrying its refreshing life and coolness into his soul.

“And then there's this really deep bass note that hits and then the chorus goes,

“‘When, my, time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her’.”

Bucky thought of how he always seemed to crawl back to you. For once, he didn’t feel guilty for his presence in your life. He relished in the feeling of having you under him, in the knowledge that of all the people in the world, you would let him crawl home to you. If he had to crawl to someone, he would thank any and all higher powers that it was you.

“And then the song gets lighters and the hums come back,” you mumbled.

“‘Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib’

“‘And I was burning up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear, I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did’.”

Memories swirled around in Bucky’s head of all the times he felt like ending it all. He knew he was perfectly capable of doing it, but there was always a stubborn sliver of hope splintered in his head that prevented him from going through with anything. He didn’t like to think back to those times, but hearing the words leave your lips made it clear to him that you were the sliver of hope, some force of the universe had kept him around long enough to reach you and hold on. He closed his eyes and listened as you gently worked through the chorus twice more.

“‘My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me’.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he thought of how unconditionally you cared for him. You weren’t blind to the troubles that came with loving someone like him, with accepting what he did and offering him sanctuary from himself. He didn’t know if he would ever be sure of the idea that he deserved love, but he was okay with being selfish if it meant having you by his side.

“‘When I was kissin' on my baby

And she'd put her love down, soft and sweet

In the low lamp light, I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me’.”

Tears had started to well in Bucky’s eyes. He looked up once again at your face, delicately bathed in moonlight, and thought of how he looked in the light, how you both looked together in the light. If you looked so beautiful and lovely, maybe he could too. He didn't feel exposed or ugly, he felt safe, he felt free. He was overwhelmed with emotion. His heart was pounding and he was choked up, he had never felt as completely and dramatically in love with you as he did in that moment.

You wrapped up the song, carrying it out with the same hums and claps that brought it in. Looking down, you saw Bucky’s face buried in the space between your breasts and could hear a sharp intake of breath, indicating that he was crying. You ran your hand that had been tapping his back up and down his spine. You took your hand from his hair and used it to push his disheveled hair out of his eyes and off his forehead, causing him to look up at you.

To Bucky, you looked like an angel. You both laid in silence, looking into each other's eyes, while Bucky simply hugged you closer and let his tears fall freely. You leaned down and placed a few gentle kisses on his forehead. He finally settled his breathing and sniffled a few times before speaking, he was ready to talk.

“I’ve killed enough people,” he sniffled before continuing, his voice croaky, “I’ve killed enough people to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.” He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling too shameful to keep looking at you.

You sank down lower in the sheets and tightened your hold on him, bringing his face and body up and closer to you.

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I wish there was more I could do.” You finally let go of the few tears building in your eyes, letting them roll down your cheeks to the corner of your lips.

“You’re here. You love me. That’s all I need,” he let out with a sob. You nodded your head and tugged on his body, signaling to him to come up.

He shifted himself higher in the bed, his face coming parallel to yours. You snaked your hand around his neck and craned him to look into your eyes. You observed the glassiness of them and how it accentuated the bright blueness within them. You thought of how, even when he was sobbing, he looked more beautiful than ever.

“I love you so much, y/n” he whispered with shaky breaths.

“I love you too, Buck, more than anything.”

You pulled him completely into you, your swollen lips gliding against one another, mixing your salty tears. You brought your hands to the sides of his face, rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, feeling how beautiful he was even with your eyes closed. You both pulled back slowly, only far enough to rest your foreheads together.

“I love you.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Spotify

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bokutobaes · 4 years

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inarizaki boys when you have a bad day

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita

☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu

☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry

☆- author: lu <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ atsumu:

-his baby had a bad day :((

-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj

-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning

-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/

-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had

-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him

-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile

-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”

-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving

-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math

-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing

-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe

was against you or something

-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩

-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for

-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL

-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”

-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.

-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores

-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”

-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)

-“oh okay babe” you text back

-whatever u don’t need him independent queen

-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores

-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..

-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”

-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.

-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.

-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today

-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(

-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time

-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you

-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”

-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll

-so with that, you started your walk home

-“y/n!!”

-fuck. atsumu.

-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry

-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh

-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you

-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”

-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest

-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest

-“its okay babe.. “ :(

-“you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”

-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath

-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.

-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled

-he also gave you a hoodie :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ suna:

-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep

-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had

-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now

-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom

-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”

-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you

-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened

-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone

-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk

-“nice hair.”

-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled

-“good morning” suna hugged you

-“good morning”

-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye

-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you

-“mmm nothing probably why?”

-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”

-“okay” you smiled

-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful

-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom

-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home

-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together

-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences

-it was a comfortable silence until...

-“what’s wrong?”

-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?

-“what are you talking about”

-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”

-“oh..”

-so suna just saw right through you

-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”

-“did something happen?”

-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”

-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”

-“can i?”

-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way

-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix

-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap

-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would

-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked

-“do you want to talk about it now?”

-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably

-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.

-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket

-“i love you, you know that right? always.”

-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that

-“i love you too, suna”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ kita:

-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay

-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache

-so this is it? this is hell? ok.

-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important

-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza

-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.

-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school

-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today

-spoiler alert it did not work

-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita

-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest

-“wow”

-“good morning y/n-chan”

-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”

-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway

-he felt your forehead and both cheeks

-“you have a fever y/n”

-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”

-he said 😐

-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle

-“why did you come? you look sick”

-“thanks. I have a test.”

-“how do you feel?”

-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through

-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test

-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse

-and off you went

-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous

-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”

-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick

-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing

-you weren’t even done the test yet

-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”

-one question left

-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher

-kita was right there when you left the classroom

-“hey ..hey.. y/n”

-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms

-“okay I’m taking you home.. “

-“but..”

-“shh let’s go”

-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets

-kita came in

-“what time is it?”

-he looked at his phone “half past 4”

-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”

-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you

-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands

-“what’s that” you asked

-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”

-“what do you mean” you laughed

-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”

-he’s so cute...

-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”

-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea

-literally tasted like heaven

-“mmmmm oh my god”

-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed

-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms

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scottspack · 4 years

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SO YOU JUST FINISHED THE UNTAMED AND YOU WANT TO READ SOME FIC

Congratulations Jen @jlf23tumble on finishing The Untamed (tomorrow)! Now that you’re done with the show (tomorrow), you can finally dive into the wide and wonderful world of untamed fic!!! I’m ecstatic to be personally curating your reading experience! LET’S BEGIN!

I’ve started off with a list of 5 fics I think you should read in this specific order to 1. get some resolution from the end of the show and 2. get you acclimated to untamed fics! Then, I’ve listed a bunch of fics in different categories for your perusal to read at your leisure! This is an unbelievably long post holy shit brace yourself.

I’m like fairly certain that all of these follow the tv show canon BUT also its very typical for authors to combine many aspects of all of the different forms of canons to their liking. Therefore, I feel like I need to give a quick explanation of a couple things from the novel that show up frequently in fics that idk if you know already or not:

In the book, when Wei Wuxian is resurrected, he is brought back in Mo Xuanyu’s actual body and has his face and everything. Mo Xuanyu was pretty young when he died, I wanna say maybe 17 or 18??? and he was also short and pretty and flamboyantly gay. This is where the references to their crazy height difference come from, but again, I think I tried to include mostly fics that skew more heavily to the tv version where WWX keeps his same body and he and LWJ are more evenly matched physically.

Its novel canon that LWJ smells like sandalwood incense and has golden colored eyes. This is mentioned in like almost every single wangxian fic ive ever read, even if the author said they were strictly adhering to show canon lol

At the end of the novel wangxian run away together and elope! Obviously in the show that’s not how it goes down, but I think a couple of the fics I’ve recced might mention it in passing. (Oh also when they elope they make a pact to fuck “everyday,” a concept that might be mentioned as well.

Obviously, we have to kick it off with some fics that both reunite wangxian and give more resolution to the actual show. If you’re like me, it both took you a while to get all the way through the show AND took 100% of your brain power to remember all of the characters and plot lines. If that’s that case: these fics should be helpful in serving as a kind of emotional refresher for the show to wrap up some loose ends and to dive deeper into some of the things the show glosses over for one reason or another!

1. A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k)

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt COMPLETE. Beautifully written, seamlessly fits with canon, and has a super fulfilling resolution. The perfect way to kick off reading untamed fic!

2. One Rogue Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan, E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!! While this fic is like, almost pure smut, I think there is a ton of value to it in terms of emotional perspective on how fucked up LWJ was after WWX’s death. Also, it’s very hot.

3. Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he rescues Sizhui from the Burial Mounds until they bring WWX back to the Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I think this gives a lot of emotional depth to the Wangji/Sizhui family relationship that is very important in most fics, so this acts as a good base since the show doesn’t really talk about it too much.

4. Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Since we got the emotional depth to Wangji/Sizhui in the last fic, here’s some emotional resolution for Sizhui and his other dad!!!!!!!!!! Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

5. climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, & Wei Wuxian, T, 15k)

Jin Ling had begun to suspect years ago that there were parts of his family history that had been crossed out; long streaks of black where Wei Wuxian had been. The truth is more like whole books being brought up from their hiding places again.

Or: Jin Ling tries to figure out what family means, now.

OKAY!!!! Last emotional resolution before I send you on your way to explore! This is the emotional resolution for the other half of WWX’s family. Featuring just a FUCK TON of family feels and a lot of TALKING that this fucked up family needs so damn bad. *chefs kiss* muy delicioso! ALSO i think this is a good introduction to a lot of the naming conventions that are used frequently in untamed fic that took me a while to pick up on!

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that you’ve gotten some post-show catharsis in the form of a few extremely well-written fics, it’s time for a full rec! I’ve divided it up into seven categories: long fics, smutty one-shots, 3zun (lan xichen/nie mingjue/meng yao) fics, fics about the juniors, family fun fics, some miscellaneous fics, and then some yizhan RPF! I wouldn’t have put any of these fics on here if I didn’t think they were worth reading, BUT! I did mark my particular favorites with asterisks to demark the crème de la crème of the bunch. SO! LET’S DIVE IN!

EPIC TALES (LONG AND/OR IMMERSIVE)

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k) ***

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOU’LL READ THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it. (Also I know you said you’re not into fics that are long just to be long and I think this fic is the exact opposite of that, it’s long but for good reason and has such an insanely satisfying payoff that it’s completely worth dedicating a few hours to!)

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

further than the grave by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 32k)

There is something about grief that turns Lan Wangji numb. He cannot be certain if it is not some kind of defect inside him that makes him so. But just as he grieved his mother’s passing with dry eyes and a stone in his chest, so he grieves Wei Ying: quietly, frozen inside, without tears. Beyond the Jingshi window it might be spring, but Lan Wangji’s body and mind are still held within the winter’s grasp.

As the anniversary of his leaving seclusion approaches, Lan Wangji ponders the nature of grief and healing.

One last fic from the same verse as the previous two, this talks about Wangji post-WWX’s death and then them dealing with the past post-marriage. Its just as good and immersive and amazing as the previous two parts, but this is the only untamed fic that actually made me gasp out loud and if you read this and can guess what it was we will be best friends forever. (There are two other fics in this verse that are also good but these three in particular are god-tier in my eyes.)

Vagabond by xantissa (Wangxian, E, 66k)

Wei Wuxian comes back to Cloud Recesses after a year of wandering the world, hoping to start a relationship with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t expect to come into the middle of a case of sleeping sickness mysteriously killing people, nor does he expect what follows, putting everything he holds dear on the line once again.

OOOWEE CASE FIC! CASE FIC! This is truly the twisty turny intense and INTERESTING type of fic from this fandom that blows my mind. This could fully be a stand alone novel its that good and there’s that much to it. Another one that isn’t long just to be long, it has so much PLOT!!!!! REAL GOOD SHIT!

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and Jin Zixuan?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

A follow-up fic set in the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (Wangxian, T, 20k)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”

“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.

In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

I kept avoiding this fic, even though it was really high up on the list of most popular fics in the fandom, bc the premise sounded pretty goofy BUT I finally bit the bullet one day and AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Very very very cute and fun, made me smile like an idiot throughout the entire thing. Heartwarming and very well written!!!

never let me go by yiqie (Wangxian, E, 69k)

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

Another extremely good and super immersive case fic. If you ever just want to sink really deep into an untamed fic, this is a great one for it.

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (Wangxian, E, 24k)

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

You want hurt/comfort? I gotcha hurt/comfort RIGHT HERE!

shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k) ***

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is…..fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (Wangxian, M, 28k) ***

The second time Lan Zhan said Wei Ying, come back, Wei Wuxian did.

okay so this is literally getting added to the fic rec one day before i send it to you because i just finished it and WHEW BABY!!!!! YES it is just another wangxian post-canon reunion get-together fic, BUT 1. i cant get enough of that specific brand of fic and 2. ITS SO GOOD. ITS. SO. GOOD. achingly tender and incredibly soft but also funny and sweet and very in-character! i love it!

THE BONE ZONE (WANGXIAN SMUT)

Sweet Night by corteae (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

An in-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

the crucial point by dissembler (Wangxian, E, 7k) ***

Months after parting on the mountain, Lan Wangji makes up his mind, plots his course on a map, and has faith.

I LOVE THIS FIC! Very realistic and sweet wangxian reunion fic from wangji’s perspective. Has so many good little details and is very true to their characters. Good shit. Great.

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

To Recklessly Confess by la_dissonance (Wangxian, E, 8k)

Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.

The “what if they just fucked in episode 43” au but from a different angle.

all the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 15k)

Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.

Another “what if they just fucked in the show” fic, this time set when WWX has the curse on his leg and Wangji has to carry him back to the inn.

Every Day, Learning More by phnelt (Wangxian, E, 6k)

The pink was high on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “I mean I haven’t been able to… that I can’t. Not without you.”

Lan Wangji stared. “In this body, the whole time you’ve had it -- you’ve never…”

Wei Wuxian kicked his heels into Lan Wangji’s back. “I just said that!”

I knew at least one of these was more book verse than show! WWX hasn’t been able to jerk off in his new body, LWJ helps him out :-)

the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (Wangxian, E, 8k)

“Lan Zhan… wants to bed me?”

The hand on his chest is shaking, slightly. “Mn.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breaths out.

There’s something— something powerful, about that. Lan Wangji wants to bed him. Lan Wangji wants to sleep with him. Lan Wangji wants to touch him, and kiss him. The immovable, implacable Second Master of Lan, with a face and principles both carved from jade, wants him.

“Is this a fantasy of yours?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Forcing all the demonic energy out of me with your—”

Lan Wangji claps a hand over his mouth. “Silence, now.”

When the entire cultivation world turns against the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian makes a risky gamble— he'll agree to participate in an ancient ritual for cleansing the spirit, so that his character can no longer be called into question. The catch? He has no idea who his partner for the ritual will be.

This is also book-verse! As the tag says “Let Lan Wangji Fuck the Yiling Patriarch”!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k) ***

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

WORLD’S WORST THROUPLE (3ZUN)

The body is a blade by rheawrites (3zun, E, 2k) ***

In which Lan Xichen is taken by surprise, Nie Mingjue takes what he can get, and Meng Yao gets what he wants.

This was the first 3zun fic I ever read and whew baby, got it in one! It’s actually a slight AU but it gets their characterization so right and is a very fun read. One of those fics I go back to frequently because it does so much with so few words.

shang tiantang by fuckwarlock (3zun, E, 4k)

They wanted so much, and with the way A-Yao gasps at the saber-calloused hand unfastening his belts, he does, too. The night air twirls with the scents of osmanthus and cinnamon and melon. Lan Xichen smiles, leans in, and ghosts his lips over the crook of A-Yao’s neck. What kind of brother would he be if he didn’t give A-Yao what he wanted? “I think it’s your turn to ascend, A-Yao.”

The Venerated Triad celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival the best way they know how.

Truly the only way the venerated triad works is if meng yao gets Destroyed :-)

Favour and Fate by soulgusttheguardian (3zun, E, 8k)

There have been times in Meng Yao’s life when he couldn’t help but wonder how he came to be in his current situation. Found himself reflecting on the choices leading up to whatever misfortune had befallen him that day, and pondering why fate hated him so.

Granted, there had also been times when he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to earn the favour necessary to be rewarded with certain things...

The current situation he found himself to be in, however, was definitely the latter.

More of the same! Truly I personally can never get enough of the 3zun dynamic in smut fics its just too goddamn motherfucking GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

the stars do not take sides by everyearning (3zun, E, 4k)

Mingjue isn’t sure he’s ever seen Xichen do anything other than treat the boy like a porcelain doll and it’s laughable to him, to think of Meng Yao as something breakable, instead of the sharp, deadly object he is.

Okay one last “Destroy Meng Yao” 3zun fic! Enjoy!

never as alive as we are right now by ThirtySixSaveFiles (3zun, E, 12k)

Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship.

(Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)

Wait actually I want to end the 3zun fics on this one because it has true Emotional Resolution at the end and I think they deserve a little healing.

BABY BOYS. BABIES. (THE JUNIORS)

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k) ***

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

A MUST-FUCKING-READ!!! Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng AND being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

His Merit All My Fear by violettressed (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, G, 16k)

It’s too late for any of Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits to be awake -- one of the sundown chores for young disciples is to herd them back into their hutch -- but the rabbit field is as good a spot as any for quality sulking, so Lan Jingyi makes his way there.

Someone has beat him to it.

Lan Jingyi stares at Hanguang-Jun. Hanguang-Jun stares passively back.

When Lan Sizhui is swept away with the Ghost General, off on a new adventure, Lan Jingyi is the one who returns to Cloud Recesses alone.

Not only another extremely cute Sizhui/Jingyi fic BUT one that includes a Wangji/Jingyi friendship??? Incroyable! *chefs kiss*

spirit running wild by idrilka (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, E, 17k)

He doesn’t know, exactly, when the friendship he shared with Sizhui over the years has changed into something that’s made Jingyi finally understand why Hanguang-Jun always wears that expression whenever he looks at Senior Wei. There hasn’t been one single moment that he can point to and say, yes, this is where it started, because the thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens gradually, until it’s impossible to tell which step has been the deciding one.

Jingyi goes to Baling with a crush.

Written by the same genius that wrote the first three fics I made you read so you know it’s good. Its truly the childhood best friends to lovers of it all! Sizhui is adorable and Jingyi is a mess! *muah!*

FAMILY FUN TIME (NO ROMANCE, JUST FEELS)

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

the stone-filled sea by yukla (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 9k) ***

He forgets how quickly Wei-qianbei changes faces, sometimes. Like pulling a theater mask over a bruise—color over color, a diversion with the swipe of his hand.

Lan Sizhui navigates a world that hates his father, one endless wave at a time.

Oh man oh man. I will never get enough of the fics where Sizhui (and the rest of the juniors) get ANGRY on Wei Wuxian’s behalf!! That’s their dad and their teacher and their friend and they will DEFEND HIM!!! YEAH BAYBEEEEEEEEEE!!!

PICK & MIX (MISCELLANEOUS)

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, M, 15k) ***

The realization strikes Song Lan like a bolt of lightning: Xiao Xingchen laughs, and he wants with a sudden, stunning desperation to kiss the mirth from his beautiful mouth. How, precisely, he is meant to manage that—that, he has no idea at all.

Or: introspective meditations on touch, trust, and the problem of desire.

I Am Baby and for some reason cannot handle how sad the entire Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen storyline ended up so I rarely read songchen fics, and when I do they’re always soft pre-canon fics like this one. Luckily there are some very beautiful and moving pre-canon songchen fics!!! I love you fandom!!

purpose and ritual by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 8k)

Song Zichen has beautiful hands. He's a powerful swordsman, strong and skilled, unfairly impressive and unreasonably handsome. He is devoted and self-disciplined and he takes direction like a dream. And he doesn't touch people—no one at all, if he can help it, except for Xiao Xingchen.

The poets might call him a saint, but Xiao Xingchen is so very, very human.

More of the same :-)

born to sweet delight by la_dissonance (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 10k)

Xiao Xingchen lightly jumps into the center of the pool, the water a shock that cools his sticky, heated skin, and does nothing for the heat building inside him. When he surfaces, pushing the hair out of his face, he finds Song Lan's gaze and meets it. Between them, everything goes both ways. What Song Lan will offer, Xiao Xingchen will freely give too.

Or, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan meet, pledge their lives to each other, and then fall in love.

This is about the angstiest I will go for songchen and its still absolutely Baby Soft lmfao!!!!!!

Pin it down by rheawrites (Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan/Nie Mingjue, E, 2k)

“Yanli, I did not lie on our wedding night. You are the only woman I have gone to bed with. But… there was a man.”

“Oh?” Yanli blinks up at him. She does not appear horrified, or betrayed, which is surely a good sign.

Jin Zixuan swallows. “It was Sect Leader Nie,” he says quickly, as though that will make it easier.

“…Oh,” says Yanli, and her eyes are dark.

Jin Zixuan tells his wife a war story. Or, two thousand words of Jin Zixuan getting railed.

Have you ever looked at Jin Zixuan and been like “I bet that mf likes getting PEGGED!!!!!!!!” Well here’s the fic for you.

*YIBO VOICE* DIDI LOVES YOU! (YIZHAN RPF)

never really over by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

The thing is: it would be good to see Xiao Zhan again — if Yibo could just trust himself to be normal.

Author gdgdbaby is the yizhan master, so here are five of my personal favorites of their fics, starting with this post-filming reunion fic that was the first yizhan fic I ever read and HIT real good after having just finished the show myself.

pedagogy by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 17k) ***

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

Quick-fire Yibo comes too easily and Xiao Zhan helps train him to last longer :-)

you’re the reason that i just can’t concentrate by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Yibo was only 20 when they filmed the untamed, which lends itself perfectly to fics like this.

a truth so loud you can’t ignore by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 5k)

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

If yibo has to be a fictional virgin than SO DOES XIAO ZHAN!

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 32k) ***

"Well?" Yibo demands. Past the severe frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, a flicker of the old him slips through, the persistent boy who shoved his way into Xiao Zhan's space without a second thought and made a home for himself there. "Are you coming or not?"

Xiao Zhan's heart twists. He forcibly settles it back in his chest. He's only told Yibo no once in his entire life, and it was already the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "Okay," Xiao Zhan murmurs, quiet but decisive, and thumbs his phone off. "Let's go."

Like I said, all gdgdbaby fics are incredibly good, super well written, and very hot, but this one does stand out from the bunch for being a Full Epic Romance! This is one of Chi’s favorite fics so that should speak to it’s quality!

baby, who’s counting by nobirdstofly (Yizhan, E, 12k)

Xiao Zhan gasps, trying to rein in another peal of giggles. “What do I owe you anyway?”

Yibo shrugs one shoulder, and his smirk deepens. “Haven’t decided.”

Xiao Zhan’s still staring at him, laughter gone in his dry throat, when he hears someone yell for a reset. Yibo’s eyes are so, so dark, and he hasn’t stopped watching Xiao Zhan this whole time. Xiao Zhan swallows, nods, and pushes every dirty thought out of his head.

(Or: Yibo bets Xiao Zhan he'll break first during a take, Xiao Zhan loses, and it's all downhill from there.)

Ah sex bets, who doesn’t love sex bets!

Mystery Dance by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 16k)

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!"

"Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from.

"Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

WHAT’S better than a Yibo virgin fic? A SECOND YIBO VIRGIN FIC!

This author also writes extremely good yizhan threesomes so here’s three of them!

Some Nights by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Xuan Lu (Jiang Yanli), E, 2k)

Xuan Lu opened her legs to him and Xiao Zhan wasted no time diving in. He pressed his mouth against her pussy, licking her out steadily as her thighs trembled around him. She was nestled between Yibo's legs and if Xiao Zhan looked up, not only could he see the planes of her body, her small breasts going up and down with her breathing, ribs expanding, her tipped back head and open mouth, but Yibo, gaze boring into Xiao Zhan's as he ate Xuan Lu out.

The entire cast is hot and there is no reason they shouldn’t ALL fuck! Not one reason!!!!!!

gege loves you by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Wang Zhuocheng (Jiang Cheng)), E, 7k)

"We are very sorry," Xiao Zhan murmured as he unbuttoned Zhuocheng's jeans while Yibo kissed his ear, "for how we've been acting."

"Is this how you apologize to everyone," Zhuocheng panted, hands already going for his zipper to help Xiao Zhan along, "or am I special?"

WHEW LORD!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!!!!!!

Talking in the Dark by mrsronweasley (Yizhan (Side Xiao Zhan/M/F), E, 14k)

Xiao Zhan has a light-hearted romp of a threeway with some friends, then makes the mistake of telling Yibo. It goes down.

A non-yizhan threesome BUT features jealous!yibo which is a ton of fun.

Finally, a couple AUs!

With Joy and Purpose by feenwitch (Yizhan, E, 30k) ***

Yibo has been alone for approximately five Earth years when Xiao Zhan crash lands on his planet.

YIZHAN ANDROID AU!!!!!!!! This is a very star trek-esque universe which is fun, but the fic itself is also CRAZY interesting and moving and beautiful!!!!!!!!! It’s A LOT! This was a rec from Nina, so thank you Nina!

Bound With a Same-Heart Knot by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 59k)

London, 1892. Xiao Zhan, a promising young attache at the Chinese embassy is tasked with showing the new ambassador's son Wang Yibo around London. The inevitable happens.

Victorian AU! I actually think you already read this, but included for posterity.

AND SCENE! This is the result of two months of daily fic reading, having 50 tabs of fic open at any given time, reading truly anything and everything, and Loving The Untamed. I’m SO EXCITED you’re diving into fic for this show and I can’t wait to talk to you about all of them and to have someone to scream with! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

#the untamed #fic #the untamed fic rec #holy gosh diddly darn moly #this is long as hell and has approximately 950k words of fic in it #my magnum opus!!!!#what's even more wild is that this literally doesnt even scratch the surface #i am constantly reading more #from the time i started putting this rec together until now #i added two new fics that i read and thought were amazing #there is no dearth of good shit to read in this fandom #ANYWAYS congrats on finishing (tomorrow)!#i cant wait to talk fic!#i hope you enjoy this list!#sorry it is genuinely absurdly long!

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fictionally0bsessed · 4 years

Text

Mammon x MC one shot/Fic

Just something I whipped up listening to these two songs lol. BIGBANG - FANTASTIC BABY

youtube

And Cobra Starship - Hot Mess

youtube

EDIT: Taio Cruz - Troublemaker for the dancing scene.. It fits xD

I am calling it a one-shot or fanfic just because it turned out a lot longer than expected. I haven’t proof read it so apologies if some of it doesn’t make sense. I just sat down and typed lol. Either way, hope it is enjoyed. I might edit it again at a later stage or delve further into it, depending on the feedback received.

Warnings: dirty dancing, sexual tension, a wee bit of violence

Word Count: 2357 Mammon had manage to twist your arm into accompanying him to the local casino. It sounded like it'd be fun. Apparently there was a club upstairs and a pool and spa outside on the deck of the building. You didn't particularly feel like taking a swim, and you'd heard all about the heat demons preferred their waters to be at. No way did you feel like being boiled alive like a lobster. Honestly, you had wanted to let your hair down and have some fun. It had been a while, the club sounded like your best bet.

-------------

Instead, here you were sipping your drink through a straw watching as Mammon was repeatedly losing at a poker game, only to make an incredible comeback after a few rounds. He'd give you a knowing wink every time he won. You just rolled your eyes looking around the room for something anything more interesting. Right now, Mammon was too interested in the game and his promise of a good night for both of you had left his mind completely. That's The avatar of Greed for you, you thought to yourself with a small bit of affection towards the white haired demon.

He'd just won another round and was pulling a ton of chips towards him, grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat, his greedy eyes gleaming. You sigh and smile as he then looked over to you. "Check it out, didn't doubt THE Mammon for a minute did ya?" he leans over to you, shoulder ever so slightly touching yours. You rolled your eyes, grinning and pushed his face away with your hand. "Glad someone's having fun," and you were, but the alcohol you'd been sipping on was urging you to find the fun you wanted.

As Mammon went back to placing down more bets you looked up at the roof, listening to the bass thumping ever so lightly. The demons in the massive gaming lobby didn't seem to mind. You found your heart and mind wandering. It had been a while since you actually went and had a dance. Sure you'd watch the demons' dance out their battles, but it wasn't the same as just letting loose. Another drink was served to you in which you quickly skulled down. Mammon was still busy looking and thinking deeply about his cards. Time to move.

You got out of your chair and started for the stairs leading up, turning around to see that Mammon hadn't noticed you leave. A passing demon butler bowed to you and held out a tray of drinks. "A drink for the human?" he smiled at you. You quickly grabbed one of the glasses and downed that one too. Putting the glass back down on the tray you turned on your heel racing towards the stairs without so much as a thank you to the demon. Another set of demonic eyes watched as your farm ran from the one guarding you. Mammon still hadn't noticed you leave as a dark figure moved through the room behind the Greedy demon.

With a deep breath and hands on knees you had finally made it to the door of the club. As you stood up your head swam and felt light. Probably shouldn't have skulled those drinks earlier but... YOLO! It was dark in the foyer, only the pulsating lights emanating from under the doors illuminated the room a little. The door handles were neon as well, so as to be able to find them. It was already loud in the hall as your hands reached for the doors. You were practically brimming with excitement as your hands reached for the way in, giddy on the spot you watched another hand grab your wrist from behind. Thinking it'd only be Mammon you went to throw the hand off and swing around, only to have your mouth covered by another one. "Mmphf." A chest pushed against your back. This certainly is some joke, Mammon.

In one swift movement you seen the demon get thrown to the side of the room and a hand grabbed your arm to stop you from sailing with it. Looking to the demon who, in fact wasn't Mammon, crumpled on the floor you heard a familiar voice speaking over the music, hand still grasping your arm, albeit a near vice grip on it. "What do ya think you're doin' leavin' my side?!"

You turned to Mammon then, trying to shrug his hand off, seeing he was in demon form and looking rather angry. "OK, well I'm sorry, I just wanted to-"

"Ya could've been killed!" he cut you off. His eyes flashed a little as he spoke. "I'm meant ta be protectin' ya but how am I s'posed to do that when you're always wanderin' off?!" his words sliced the air but his grip lessened. "What if I lost ya, are ya crazy?"

His last sentence was said in a lot softer tone.

Mammon horns started retreating back into his head and his form returned to normal in front of you. "I just wanted to have some fun, and gambling isn't my kinda fun, Mammon." Your arms folded across your chest in annoyance.

"Yeah but didn't ya see the money I made?" he smiled then, eyes closed. You rolled your eyes again, this time huffing. Grabbing his arm now you dragged him towards the doors of the club and reefed them open. "We're dancing," maybe it was the fact you'd been in the Devildom for a while, and was nearly used to having your life threatened, maybe it was the alcohol talking, but this time it was your turn for fun, and if he wasn't going to let you do it without him, then he was coming with you.

"MC, wait!" you, being smaller than he was you were able to make your way through the dancing demon bodies, eyes watching you as human heat touched demonic skin, fairly easily. He was pushing demons out of the way, one that was moving to follow you Mammon wasn't as polite to and shoved the demon extra hard, added a quick life threatening glance as he made his own way through.

You slowed down and turned, you'd found a spot that was a little less crowded. The bass boomed through your body, reverberating in all the right ways. The music was taking you in. Mammon reached you then, yelling over the music he looked around warily and back to you, "These demons in here all wanna eat ya, ya know that right?" His eyes were flicking to the various staring eyes and various moving bodies around the room. "I'm not the only one who can smell ya human scent."

You moved closer to him then, holding one of his hands pressing yourself against him, his eyes quickly flicked back down to you then and a blush on his cheeks as you pressed your body into him. Was it the atmosphere making you so bold? Your mouth moved to his ear, his heat radiating onto your flushed cheeks, "Then dance with me, and show them I'm not here alone."

He shivered against you and as you leaned back down you watched his eyes full of wonder and surprise.

Letting his hand go you took a few steps back and swaying in rhythm to the music. Your eyes closed, allowing the sound of the beat flood your mind and guide your body. As the music thumped you began rolling the up half of your body and hips followed along in time. Your hands moved into the back of your hair as you swung your head.

Mammon stood there arms crossed, and eyeing off the demons that were also dancing but their eyes were focussed on you and lips were being licked. He looked pretty pissed, so you stepped still in rhythm over to him and grabbed his jacket. "Oi, no. We need ta -" pulling him closer that his body pressed against you for the second time that night. He felt so warm that a rush of heat flushed over your own body. Looking into his eyes, swinging your arms around the back of his neck you swayed your hips inviting him to hold them. His cheeks and neck were alive with a red blush you noticed in quick flash of lighting amidst the blue hue. It made you giggle, filling you with all thoughts of ways to get him flustered enough to dance.

A voice boomed over the music close to your ear, "Do you want to dance pretty little thing?" Mammon hadn't noticed the demon close in on you two, being too fixated on you and what you were doing to him. His hands quickly moved possessively to rest on your waist. Turns out that jealousy was all he needed.

Mammon eyed the demon until he back away then his gaze moved to you again. "Fine," it was his turn to roll his eyes. "But don't think for a secon' I'm gonna be enjoyin' this. I'm only keepin' you safe is all." You beamed then, and began to move with more excitement than you had. As your hips swayed with more fever, Mammon's hands slowly made their way down to sit on them allowing you to guide how he also moved.

He was tense against your body, and felt hotter around his neck than he had done a moment ago but he couldn't take his eyes of the way your body convulsed and rolled in time with the music and feeling you move this way against him - he couldn't deny he was loving it. Your scent was tickling his nose and causing hungry thoughts to ravage and beat at the doors of his mind. You swung around then so your back was against his chest, and your arse swayed against his own moving body. Intentionally you moved your arms back up and ran a hand down from his shoulder as you dipped and moved back up.

Mammon's hands moved back to your hips as you stood but kept sliding up and down against your hips and waist, one hand pushing your top up ever so slightly and you shivered with the feeling of skin on skin contact. His hand left a burning trail where it roamed. Mammon's face moved to reset in the crook of your neck between the arm you kept over the back of his shoulder. His body was pushing into your back with more force, his hands and arms drawing you in close. The familiar feel of arousal pitted in your stomach when you felt him take a long sniff in against your skin. An arm scooping around your middle, the other still caressing your side. "Ya smell different, ya smell good," he voiced in your ear. Even with the music deafening, you could hear a rasp in voice, making it sound husky. Again another wave of heat burnt through your body at his words and tone. Pushing back in against him, too his grip on you wasn't budging. It was almost like he was holding onto you to keep himself grounded, like he might float off is he dared to let go.

It wasn't far off the truth. He growled, low, a noise you hadn't heard from the demon before, not like that. A small quirk made it's way to your lips and you signalled with body movements you wanted to turn to face him again. He allowed it, and you spun moving your arms again to rest over his shoulders. You couldn't deny that you were being caught up in the sex-fueled atmosphere of the room. You drew in again towards him, again body pressed flush against him, though he seemed to be keeping his lower half out a little. His yellow and blue hued eyes were half lidded, and there was a hunger in them. It sparked you once again inside your gut, that familiar arousal again. You couldn't deny you'd always been attracted to the demon. Always getting in trouble together, causing havoc and playing pranks around the House of Lamentation. But seeing him looking at you the way he was right now, it was your turn to blush.

In such a close proximity you could see his nostrils flare as he breathed, was he.. smelling you? Your eyes must have reflected the thoughts starting to flood your mind. He moved down close to your ear and neck again, you shivered. The tension at the moment between you was nearly palpable. His fingers moved up your flimsy shirt and touched the skin of your back and then retreated as if you'd set him on fire. Moving his face away but enough to speak so you could hear, "Follow me," he grabbed your hand and pulled you over to a wall. In one swift move he spun and rested his back against it lazily and legs slightly open he pulled you forcefully into his embrace, and spoke low into your ear. At this point you had both hands against his chest and honestly quite shocked that you couldn't move, standing between his legs and pressed against him like this.

"I can smell ya," he repeated, this confused you. Of course he could, you had had it made clear in the first couple of days in the Devildom that you smelled like prey. You looked up at him, your lips slightly parted and your bafflement at his words clear on your face in question. He looked beautiful in this light but was hesitant to answer you. "We need ta get you home," he lamented, not giving you any answers. He looked like he was battling a war within himself. He couldn't decide something, but he also looked really concerned all of a sudden and looking around the room again. You followed his gaze, noticing his hand still on your back. There were a lot of eyes on you now, and they all reflected a hunger that you'd seen in the demon against you. You turned back to face him.

"OK," you nodded with a little disappointed beading in your heart. "Let's go home."

#Obey Me!#Obey Me! Mammon #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral #Shall we date?#swd #swd obey me #obey me #Mammon #club #dancing #scent #smell

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humanemotionssuck · 4 years

Text

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

#quaranthings #just quarantine thoughts #2020 #bye2020 #new year

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

817

Does it make you nervous when someone does something dangerous showing off? If it’s something supposed to be taken seriously, like an athlete doing a risky ice skating spin, then I’d be nervous in that I don’t want them to fail. But if it’s someone doing something rather foolish like doing a moonsault off a roof or putting out a candle with their bare fingers, the mischievous side of me will silently half-wish something goes wrong haha. Have you ever had to take a pee test? You mean a urinalysis? Yeah. Angela’s doctor mom suspected I had UTI a few weeks ago so she had written up a recommendation for me to take a ‘pee test,’ as you put it. Have you ever had to supply someone with clean pee? I mean, I did for the aforementioned urinalysis lol. And what do you mean by clean pee? How is that different from dirty pee? Lmao Are you a bit of a nerd? Guh, I loved calling myself this is a teenager...because...y’know...I was a teenager and wanted to sound cool and ~not like the other girls~ lol but I was definitely trying too hard at the time. I don’t consider myself a nerd now and I don’t think I ever was. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? Just my own dishes for the most part, but that’s it.

Are you good at HTML? At one point I was, because it was once a common practice on Tumblr to customize your themes, add your own pages, and basically just mix up your blog. I dunno if normal Tumblr still does this haha but if I tried to do this today I’d be rusty for sure. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? Nope. I always feel like I’d get caught. Most interesting place you've ever visited? I’d say Shanghai was the most interesting mostly because it was SO incredibly first-world and the whole place was just so modern, so technologically forward and the experience was so jarring considering the dumpsite I live in. It was very daunting seeing all the bright lights, people dressing up so well, luxury shops on every corner, and how rich their nightlife was. Have you ever had anything tailored? Yes, my lola knows how to do that so whenever I need my clothes adjusted I’d just ask her to do it. Fan of Walton Ford artwork? Ever even heard of him? Nope, haven’t heard of him. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I never get my eyebrows done; I don’t find it necessary. They’re naturally on the thick side, but from years of trichotillomania and plucking my left eyebrows, the hair eventually never 100% came back and the end of that eyebrow has juuuust a bit of a bald patch on it. It’s only noticeable for those who know about my trich, but still. What color is your bedroom door? It’s brown, but the bottom part sports a lot of chipped-off paint due to my dog scratching on it to get in and out of my room for the last twelve years. Do you value your personal space, or do you hate being alone? I value both since I tend to need either at different points. Have you ever been hunting? Never. Your take on one-night stands? Are they okay? You do you, and it’s definitely okay. It’s just not my thing. Do you always wear a bra? Not when I’m at home. I for sure haven’t worn one in a while due to the pandemic forcing me to stay home, but I did wear a bra when I went to the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Felt so weird lol. Do you have a wrist watch? No. I always lose them under my watch (hehe) so I just stopped wearing them altogether so that I don’t keep wasting my parents’ money :/ Do you usually jog or go for walks? I’ll sometimes go for walks, but for leisure. I don’t think of them as workouts at all. Could you be happier? Yeah, I think this is how most of us, if not all of us, feel.

Don't you just love aerial views? Like...from airplanes? Yessss, I love them a lot. When my dad books flights for us I always call dibs on a window seat as I never get tired of seeing cities and towns from the sky. Do you own a pair of Dr. Martins? As far as I know it’s Martens, and no I don’t. I’ve always thought they were too chunky for my liking. Do you like wine? Hate it, I never liked its bitter taste. My girlfriend and some of my aunts love wine though so sometimes I’ll have a glass or two and pretend to like it so I can spend time with them haha. Do you scrapbook? Nope. We do have scrapbooks at home, but it was my mom who made all of them for mine and my siblings’ baby photos. Have you ever been told not to do something you desperately wanted to do? Of course. ^ did you listen? Not always. Why are the angry birds so mad at the pigs? ...I don’t care. I never played the game actually. Would you feel bad about breaking up with a kid on his birthday? Kid sounds weird in this sentence lol, and yeah I’d say that’s a pretty shitty thing to do. There are 365 days in a year and unless my significant other has been an abusive shithead, I’d pick a date other than their birthday to break up with them. Have you ever sung anyone the happy birthday song? On their birthday, I guess...? How many followers do you have on Twitter? At the moment, 722. Do you like Hello Kitty? Not really. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Not that I can recall. My sister has always been the one better at those than me, she wins something every time. Though there was one time I was at the arcade and was just fucking around with the claw machines until I saw a kimono-wearing Hello Kitty left behind in one of them; I figured someone won it but didn’t want it, so I gleefully took it and gave it to my sister who’s super into Hello Kitty AND anything Japanese haha. Is there an actual word for those? I call it the claw machine. Have you seen the movie Remember Me? I never have but I remember wanting to because Robert Pattinson is in it, heh. Do you like thunderstorms? Love them. I can see myself living somewhere where it rains all year round. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I’ve ridden a horse before but I don’t think it counts as horseback-riding? It was part of the itinerary on one of our trips to Tagaytay nearly a decade ago, and a skilled rider was maneuvering the horse for me. I was like 12 and didn’t know any better, but today I absolutely wouldn’t take part in some tourist attraction thing that would use and tire out animals. Have you ever seen your naked back? I’ve had to turn around and look at it in the mirror a few times because I have scoliosis and I had wanted to see the point where my back starts to curve. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Noooooo. I hate doing PDA myself so I’ll likely be sheepish at my own wedding actually, considering the fact that I wanna invite like 400 people lol. Do you think girls generally look better with their natural hair color? I don’t base attractiveness off of hair color, so I don’t really care. Who is the last person you held hands with? Gabie. Was ages ago though. Would you agree that wedding cake is so much better than any other cake? (: I mean, wedding cake isn’t even a type of cake lol. I think cheesecake is the superior cake, though. Do you feel awkward with strangers in elevators? Not at all. It’s a lot more awkward if I know the person but am not close with them or don’t know them all that well, so then I’d have to spend the next few seconds figuring out if I wanna make small talk or just ignore them altogether. Do you cuss excessively when you're upset? I can cuss excessively regardless of my mood. I don’t do it as much as I did when I was a teenager, but my potty mouth will still slip out every now and then. Would you rather cheat and tell your other about it or be cheated on? Eugh, this is an awful question. Can we just go with no cheating? Do you own a pair of shorts that could be mistaken for underwear? I don’t think so. Have you ever felt free after losing something once important to you? Yeah, I was recently reading my old survey answers from 2015 when my breakup was fresh, and apparently I was a super happy camper who felt free as fuck when Gab and I had broken things off so I guess that’s one example lol. Have you ever been to a rave? Nope, no raves for me. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? I’ve only eaten a whole banana once my whole life and that was a few weeks ago when I had a fever. Mom said it’ll be good for my body so I was made to eat one for breakfast. It wasn’t all that bad, but it will still take a whole lot for me to have to eat another banana. Have you ever felt like you can burn the world down? I’ve never been that angry before, no. Can you read/speak in any language(s) other than English? Yuh, Filipino is my first language.

Have you ever had sex outside? I’ve had it outside but we were still hidden, like inside a car lol if that still counts. Have you ever been outside naked? ^ Same situation. Do you like guys with long, brown, shaggy, flippy hair? If it looks majestically taken care of, yep. Do you have a beauty mark? I don’t. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. I’ve been terrified of them ever since watching The Shining, and I don’t think I’ll ever be up to entering one since I hate getting lost. Do you think you're the best thing that's happened to someone? I dunno. I don’t really need this big of a validation, so it’s genuinely fine if no one thinks of me in this way. Is the best thing that's ever happened to you a person? Yes, but also a dog. What's your boyfriend's style, or what style tends to attract you? I’ve observed that Gab jumps from one style to another. Some days she’ll dress like a sophisticated aunt and wear nice flowy dresses, other days she’ll opt to look a bit tomboyish and wear a graphic or tie-dye t-shirt and jeans. Do you know anyone who works in a cafe? Yeah, my cousin Bia. How many songs do you think you know all of the lyrics do? Hundreds is a safe guess. Do you enjoy jazz or blues music? I enjoy both, but I like jazz a tad bit more.

What's the most emotionally painful thing you've ever been through? Finding out about Nacho. My grandpa’s death hurt as hell too, but back then I had no choice but to harden up and force myself to be ok and focus because I had an insanely important college entrance exam coming up five days after his passing, and I couldn’t afford to get distracted. With the news of Nacho, I was doing nothing that night and I was completely vulnerable when it hit me. How many band t-shirts do you own that are black? I only have one band t-shirt, and it’s black. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? Nope. Would you agree that Beck is a musical genius? (: Beyoncé lost to him for Album of the Year at the Grammys for her 2013 album which she highkey should’ve won, so he’s kinda on my shitlist for that looooool Do you ever feel like the main people in your life don't know you at all? No. I wear my heart on my sleeve for the most part, so I don’t have to worry about that. Do you like Ben Folds? I’ve never heard of him. Do you watch The Voice? Nope. Do you have a protective father? To an extent. He hates catcallers and always tells me to tell him if there are any around when we’re out so he can beat them up. He’s not crazy protective to the point of being possessive or overly strict though. Have you ever worn a headdress? Just for school productions when we would represent cultures that have headdresses.

Last thing that caused you to get sick? A UTI. What's the biggest misconception about you, personally? It annoys me to no goddamn end when people say or assume that I’m fake. It’s called being polite and civil even around people I don’t like which I’m pretty sure is more mature than fake, dude. Have you ever seriously thought you loved someone without telling them? No. Are you squeamish? About certain things. I hate watching clips of people having their bones break or get dislocated, people passing out, too much blood, among other stuff.

#survey #surveys

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nylenol · 6 years

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do all of them like a True Lesbian u pussy

i hate you but im also thriving thanks BITCH!

1. Femme or butch?im a butchy femme bitch but i like both! i think i have a preference for femmes tho

2. Do you have a “type”? If so, describe itidts?? all i know is girl hot

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?plaid button ups god i wish i was hot enough for leather jackets

4. Describe your stylehomeless lesbian

5. Describe your aesthetica mess of other aesthetics! neon, pastel, grunge, the whole shebang

6. Favorite article of clothing?my watermelon pj shorts.

7. Favorite pair of shoes?answered!

8. Current haircut?n/a. im tarzan

9. Any haircut goals for the future?I WANT AN UNDERCUT!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I HAVE TOO MUCH OF A BABY FACE SO I CAN’T IM DEPRESSION

10. Describe the best date you’ve been onnever been on one haha sandra loney!

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been onnever been on one haha sandra loney!

12. Single? Taken?haha sandra loney!

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!haha sandra loney!

14. If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?answered!

15. Describe your dream weddingsmall…… relaxed,, in some rich bitch’s backyard……. matching dresses bitch!!

16. Do you want kids?not while im in my 20s for sure but maybe one or two later?? i wanna adopt and i feel like the experience is important to have before i die

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?I’d probably stay where i am,,,,,, i like cali! i’d like to travel a lot tho

18. Favorite lesbian movie?THE HANDMAIDEN (2016) PLEASE. WATCH IT.

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?FINGERSMITH SARAH WATERS THE BOOK THAT THE HANDMAIDEN (2016) WAS BASED OFF OF PLEASE. READ IT.

20. Favorite lesbian song?answered!

21. Favorite lesbian musician?answered!

22. What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?the hating men thing is kinda there! but other than that, nah

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?idk what this is asking but ive come out to ppl before and they ask again like..”forreal ?”

24. If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?be comfortable with me! and a caring friend, first and foremost

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?GIRL HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also me girl ??? they girl ?? ? same ? ? ? safe

26. Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?cat person if i had to choose but god i love dogs…

27. Turn ons?ppl that believe in me like hello…………………………………………………….. also when ppl are Genuine.. and Care…. Wow…

28. Turn offs?answered but also ppl who don’t see a problem out to its resolution like. waht the ufck

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?im a brick so. wait for others LOL

30. What is your dream career?ART PLEASE….. CONCEPT ARTIST / CHARA DEV

31.Talk about your interests or hobbies!i love DRAWING kekekke also gaming! i really like single player rpgs with immersive stories theyre sexy,, also i enjoy reading/watching gay shit thanks for ur time - i also wanna get into writing prose + poetry but im ugly at that so yuh

32. What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?sincerity like hello

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?i love easily! romantically idk but platonically definitely,,,,,,,, i love People

34. Ever fallen for your best-friend?heeheehoohoo

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?answered!

36. The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)never seen it keke

37. Favorite comfort food?i have a few but im craving banh cuon rn,, the dim sum kind (its like rice cake with shrimp and this sweet soy sauce)

38. Coffee or tea?tea! but only the horrendously sweet, fruity kind u get at boba shops keke

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?neither im an omnivore

40. Do you have any pets?nope! there’s a stray cat that visits a lot though

41. Early-riser or night-owl?early riser but not by choice………..

42. What is your sign?answered!

43. Can you drive?no jsghdg

44. Who was your first lesbian crush?lul i didnt realize until recently but it was this girl who was in a couple of classes in middle school w me kek, it was just a superficial thing tho and i didnt even know i was gay for sure LMAO

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?i started questioning around 11-12?? went with pan from 14-15 and then i was like Who Am I Kidding…….Girl Hot

46. At what age did you come out (if you have)?I came out as pan when I was 15, but now I’m out @ school as a lesbian! I’m not out to my fam tho i need a roof above my head and food in my mouth unfortunately

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?crushing isn’t the word I’d use - miss someone tho

48. Talk about how your day wentfucking WACK classes were a fever dream, i got caught with like 10 different hotel and anime expo tabs open in 2nd period, the teacher read out each tab name before he closed them and jskldghdggggg ; math murdered me, i got 2/9 on a quiz :) interviews for 2 hrs afterschool and we have our new club board sorted out! so big excite, it’s gna be a really good group for this year!!!!! and i studied for a few hours, ended up having to go home and now i cant focus - i still need another 6 hrs to study i think

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the futureanswered!

50. Least favorite gay celebrity?cant think of any rn but in terms of favorites the ows mods r my fave gays xoxo

#asks #flying-frappucino #THANK U FOR DISTRACTING ME hf w hw

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cutegirlmayra · 7 years

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Hiya! I really LOVE your stories! I have 2 prompts ( choose the one ya feel like doing) 1: Slightly angsty Sonamy boom where sonic gets in an argument with amy and ends up having to be saved by her after angrily running off.😆 2: Silvaze fluff where blaze is sick and silver has to take care off her. At first she doesn't like him babying her but eventually gives in☺️

I want to do both! lol, could you send me an ask with the other one? for now, I’ll just do Silvaze fluff :3

(x)

This pic actually helped inspire this xD

Prompt:

Blaze tried to keep up as much as possible with Silver, as he flew straight through the rings of flames, and fired upon Iblis.

She halted and fell to one knee, gripping it as she breathed hard and coughed.

“Out of all the days…” she wiped her mouth, realizing she probably had a fever from the night before…

“Blaze?”

She looked up, seeing she had caught the attention of Silver.

He looked down, a bit disturbed at her appearance, before seeing a massive clawed hand coming down for her.

“Oh no!” he dived down, “Not my friend, not today, Iblis!!!” he flew in front of her, narrowing his eyes, and then crossed his hands.

“Rrrahhh!!” he stored up power within himself, his aura channeling throughout his outer body and then shooting into him, as if being absorbed. “HA!” he threw his arms out to have a huge blast ripple like a zig-zagging energy bolt up his arm and crack it apart from it’s earthy bounds.

The whole hand and arm exploded, making Iblis fall back and cry out in pain, before sinking into the lava… only to be heard from again and again, reborn in full strength, but Silver hadn’t any time for that.

He quickly turned around, getting out of his rushing thoughts to bend down to Blaze, hesitating to touch her as he nodded his head forward.

“You okay?”

“Silver… that was… impressive.” she squinted her eyes, holding her body as she felt the sickness spiral through her.

He looked her over, before waving his arms around to gesture to her. “You were sick, weren’t you? Darn it, Blaze! The world can wait! If we lose you, then I’ll be the only thing left defending it!”

“Ack!” she coughed up a nasty sounding noise, as if she had a problem with her throat. “You’re so… naive…” she started to lean forward, but jerked herself up straight.

His eyes widened, looking more concerned, not knowing what was happening. “Blaze..?” he was ready to catch her at any time, worriedly keeping his hands on either side of her.

“I… I suppose you could save the world… on your own.. but that wouldn’t be… very fair. Ack! would it..?” she collapsed into his chest, as his hands quickly wrapped around her.

He narrowed his eyes after a minute of shock from her words, and then looked down, as if trying to understand.

“Blaze… I would be lost without you.” He admitted, before taking a second to keep his head down, rested next to her, then shooting it up to look seriously to the sky, and picking her up.

With a hero’s walk, he carried her bridal style away from the lava’s edge…

Back at their hideout, Blaze breathed faintly, but with heavy lifts of her chest, and a hand to her stomach, leaning her head wearily against the side of the wall.

When her eyes fluttered open, they were half closed, still too tried to really get up.

“What’s happening?” She looked around, as Silver carried a tray over to her, and looked away, as if embarrassed.

“I found a wound that was festering on your back… hope you don’t mind. It was getting all over your clothes..” he looked away again, as she looked to see he to take her jacket off to get to it.

She looked a little frazzled about that, but shook her head, refusing to let him see her uncomfortable blush.

“I-It’s fine. You had to address me. I understand.” she looked away as he held the bowl of rations to her.

“Drink this. It’s more than enough.” he nodded, taking on a serious but reassuring tone, as he knew she was touchy about ration portions.

She knew he was right… but still.

She took the bowl.

“It’s got some added packets from the supply unit we found, so more nutrients. If you don’t take it, you won’t be prepared for the next time Iblis appears.” he walked away, going to the device they created to have water come down from the roof, drain out any nastiness using a few different strainers, and then leak out into pan that served as fresh water.

He picked up a pan and replaced it with another, before washing his face from the soot and burns from the last battle off on it, getting his arms too, before looking back at Blaze.

She was slurping up her portions, but hadn’t realized he had put his own portion into it as well.

So he’d go hungry for a night, not a big problem.

He sighed, looking into the dish.

His white fur reflected back from it, along with his eyes.

He wondered a moment longer about Iblis, about any future from this terrible life… but he did his duty. He was the only one who could…

Besides-

He looked back over, slowly towards Blaze.

“I suppose you could save the world… on your own.. but that wouldn’t be… very fair.”

He thought of her words then, and turned back to the dish.

….What if it really was… just him?

He shivered off the eerie feeling of loneliness and despair, before getting back up and taking the dish over to her.

“I need to change out the wound.” he stated, “Here.”

She took the dish and washed her face off, before sliding it back to him, nodding.

“It may hurt, you twitched a lot in your sleep.” he admitted, using his telekinesis to pick off the bandage and watched as it neatly folded to his side.

She braced herself.

He used his hand this time, reaching for a cloth and then dabbing her back.

“Ah!” she winced, trying to hold it together.

“Sorry…” He arched his eyelids back, before continuing as she tried to remain more silent this time.

“If you would have told me about this sooner, instead of keeping it yourself, we wouldn’t have to worry about this.” he had a bit of irritation in his voice, and her ears picked up on it at once.

She huffed a sigh, “I didn’t want you… to worry.” she admitted, closing her eyes as she once again held in the pain, but let it out as a elongated, grunted sigh.

He made a face, and she looked down to the water to see it, before he saw her looking at him through the reflection of the surface, and fully gave her a frown.

“You know, I worry without the injuries.”

She smiled, kindly and fondly to his childish looks.

She leaned her head up and sighed again, as she felt his hand lightly rub the spot over her wound, as if trying to take some of the pain away.

“You usually use your powers to address wounds…” she opened her eyes lightly, “Why the sudden change?” she looked over her shoulder.

He flinched, immediately using his powers to get the fresh bandages and quickly wrap it around her.

She moved her arm back, and stopped his hand.

“Calm down, Silver… I liked that it wasn’t so… ghostly.” she admitted, before letting him go and watching the bandages, glowing with his influence, suddenly drop to her lap.

She smiled, before growing nervous and frowned with a blush, seeing his hands move through her arms, and pick up the bandages.

She blushed harder as she realized he now had to manually tie around her…

She put her hands to her chest, although covered, it was extremely more intimate than she realized.

“I… I hadn’t realized.” she whispered, mostly to herself, before looking away, embarrassed at her folly.

She heard a humorous chuckle escape Silver’s lips lightly, and bent her ears back, pouting in frustration at being so foolish.

“And you call me naive.”

He gently rotated the bandages around her, one hand at a time, moving to almost embrace her as he had to lean forward to grab the other end to make sure it was fully around her, bring it up from her waist, and more tediously strain to make sure the bands were tight enough.

Once done, he placed a hand on her back, and used his powers to stretch her skin together, helping it heal as she arched her back, her eyes twitching at the pain of that sensation.

“Almost done…”

“You could make it less painful…”

“…” he strained his power out more, and suddenly his green essence was all around her, and every time a strand touched her, it felt soothing and warm, as he let it fall around her.

“…Better?”

His voice was calming too, as she closed her eyes, before he helped her put her jacket back on.

“…Yes.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you. For not leaving me to fight alone.”

“Hmm.” she smiled, turning around to him. “You wouldn’t last long without me.”

He nodded, “Therefore, you should tell me when you’re hurt.” he wagged a finger at her, before she nodded.

Suddenly, he embraced her, as she was caught off-guard by the motion.

“S..Silver?” she blinked her eyes, looking over at him.

“…I’m glad you’re alright.” he admitted, but in all honesty…

He didn’t want to miss another opportunity to get close to her again.

And surprisingly, even more so, Blaze didn’t want the sensation of having him close to dissipate either, as she took a hand to bring him closer, and smiled as the two friends held one another for a long minute…

(Awww~ I love these two lol)

#silverxblaze #silvaze #sonic prompt #silvaze prompt #silver the hedgehog #sonic 06 #cutegirlmayra #blaze the cat #sonic

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swordarkeereon · 7 years

Text

Day 8: Moving Again #DoMagick

I feel that so far, my posts have been rather banal. But then real magick isn’t always about exciting revelation, quick changes, and physical manifestation of the Daemonic. Sometimes it is slow and plodding and there’s not much going on but thinking, small baby steps with regard to follow-through, well-placed placed prayers and offerings, and small magickal actions. This is how I feel right now. My magick isn’t bold and sweeping at the moment, but then I suppose it doesn’t need to be. I go with my intuition a lot of the time and do what’s necessary WHEN it is necessary.

Today I pulled the Three of Pentacles for the day bringing up the topics of assistance, planning, cooperation (teamwork) and employment. It’s interesting that this came up.

Assistance – Yesterday, I brought back my assistant, Frank, who I hadn’t needed for awhile. But upon examining my situation, I was shocked to discover I was spending as little as five hours a week (many times seven or more) answering reader email. That’s five hours I could be using to write or do other important and necessary writing/publishing to-do’s. Remember, writing is not a hobby for me or something I twiddle with in my free time. It’s my actual job and how I keep a roof over my family’s head. So five hours spent answering questions that could easily be researched on the Internet, or found in one of my blog posts or books. Between today and yesterday, seeing what’s coming in and watching Frank deal with it in real time, he’s already saved me about three hours, which I’m VERY grateful for.

Planning – I decided I need to get back to journaling. I did so well journaling for over a year and it really kept me organized. I am re-starting my journal today for the coming weekend so I have a clear path to getting more accomplished. When you have goals – you need organization. And writing things down, for me, is the best way to stay organized. I always feel I have firmer footing. I fell out of journaling this spring because things kind of spiraled out of control. Now it’s time to redirect myself and get back on the path of organization. I really hate being disorganized.

Cooperation – Never underestimate the power of groups. People are awesome and will help you promote your work if you just ask. Today I posted an ad for a book I have on sale for .99 cents at the moment (Training Amy on Amazon), and people in the groups it was posted to (all fiction) were happy to promote the sale, resulting in a wonderful jump in numbers for that book. I need to remember not to dismiss the power of cooperation, especially by those who are more than happy to promote what they love with others.

Employment – I’ve actually been praying and leaving offerings for some help with my husband finding steady work that he enjoys, and with people he enjoys. Many of my readers know that he took a sabbatical from a regular day job to do consulting and to go back to school to brush up on some new technology. Well, his sabbatical is up, and it’s time for him to let go of the consulting gig. He has been a consultant for years, but the work is sporadic. Luckily he’s been taking classes and learning new things in between the gigs, but through all of this, he’s learned that he’s not a stay at home kinda guy. He gets cabin fever and has decided going back to a regular steady job is what he wants to do. We have already seen positive signs here and I couldn’t be happier with the speed and manifestation. I didn’t expect results so quickly. But then I never do, even though time and time again, I tend to get these kinds of results when it comes to job magick for others. LOL I guess I’ll always be a skeptic at heart, which is why I experiment so much.

On that note – today I decided not to go see my terminal friend who is now in a medically induced coma, and will be until the end. This time, her last days, are for her family and close friends and I don’t want to intrude on that. I had a dream about her the night before last and she was happy and alive (and looked healthy, young, vibrant) and she was smiling and saying to me, “I’m free! I’m finally free!” This makes me believe that her consciousness may have already ascended her physical body. Now we’re just waiting for the shell to cease functioning. That sounds so clinical, and even harsh, doesn’t it? But that’s how it is. None of us is guaranteed another day and death is the natural conclusion to life. So be it. I find comfort in the idea that she is separated from her physical body now and has gone back to all that is.

There was another reason I didn’t go today and that’s deadlines. I have so many deadlines past that need to be dealt with. That meant final edits on one novella, and getting another ready for the editor, while I finish up a third. And I’m still putting off ETG edits, but plan on working on this this weekend. My hope is that by tonight I can finish Thirteen Covens #6 and send it to my editor for initial edits before sending it to the beta readers.

What about spells? Yeah, tonight I did some work with a tablet I made for this month’s magickal work. Included on it are symbols and sigils with personal significance to my situation. I anointed it with an oil made of frankincense and cinnamon and charged it. The idea is to keep this on the altar during the work I’m doing. You can see I baked the clay a few minutes too long. The green signifies both abundance and creative work.

That’s really it for today. I still plan on doing my nightly meditation at which time I will likely medidtate on my tablet some more and do some ascension work for guidance. I still have yet to do the attraction spell between novels + success. But that’s because the novella I wanted to finish isn’t quite done yet. Going to go work on that for the next hour. Have a great night everyone.

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dlwngadventures · 7 years

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02/26/18, BALI!!!!

click to view the BALI PHOTOS :))

Let me tell you about Bali though...

A lot of people (at least I definitely did) think Bali is this beautiful oasis. First thing that comes to mind is yoga retreat, vegan heaven, crystal blue water, zen type vibes, but our experience was very different. There were 10 of us so if that doesn’t already set the scene for how crazy it was... traveling with that many people just makes it a mission to make any decisions or get anything done.

On Friday we flew into Denpasar (Brittney and I were on a separate flight bc we of our spontaneous booking lol) and we went from the airport to our Airbnb. The roads are wild!!! There are basically no traffic laws and everyone rides their scooters and just goes. We drove through so many different areas to get to our Airbnb. It was so interesting to see the mix of the very poor, developing areas contrasted with the modern, hip shops you see on Instagram etc. Even just the contrast of our very cute Airbnb to the housing around it. Our Airbnb was hostel style kind of with multiple rooms. Our room was 2 double beds and a bathroom. It was super cute with the owner’s house right by it -- filled with loud roosters and dogs. From the Airbnb we walked to Batu Bolong beach to meet the others. First impressions: It was so so hot and the water was a nasty brown. The sun is crazy bright there. The sand was literally too hot to walk on barefoot. I don’t ever burn tbh but my shoulder burned a little this trip and that was crazy to me. I experienced peeling skin from a sunburn for the first time and for sure lathering on the sunscreen from now on!!!!!! Always!!!! We paid for a couple lounge chairs and umbrellas in front of a restaurant on the beach because there was no way we would be able to just lay out on the sand. This beach is a prime surfing location, aka the waves will knock you flat on your back (which admittedly happened to me multiple times). For some reason all of us still loved it. It was fun just to run into the water and being KO’ed by the wave idk. This first day was our chill day. We spent majority of the day by the beach and then we chilled at our group’s villa. The villa was wild. It had an incredible pool, open concept roof business, right by all the shops and restaurants, about 5 min walk from the beach. We showered and went out for food. We ate at a ‘warung’ as it’s called in Indonesia. It’s basically a small, family style restaurant. I got so much food and I can’t remember that last time I’ve been that full. I could barely stand up straight. Yet, we walked by a vegan ice cream place and of course I had to get one. I got tumeric ice cream and it was so good. Worth every inch of bloated belly lol. We spent the night chilling in the villa -- drinking, catching up, in the pool etc.

Saturday was our busy, busy day. We hired a private driver who took us around to all our different locations. We visited the Ubud Monkey Forest (Sacred Monkey Sanctuary) and it was our first close experience with monkeys in South East Asia (at the tree top walk I only really saw them from afar). These monkeys were so clever and quick!!! If you had food they would just snag them from you. The sanctuary had a bunch of rules to follow to help prevent monkey attacks -- ex. don’t look them in the eyes!! We saw the monkeys pick out bugs from each others fur (including around the butt area) and eat it. You could pay to feed them bananas and they absolutely devoured them. The monkeys just roam freely around the park so if you’re not careful they’ll just snatch things from you. At one point we were in this open area and we were all taking turns feeding the monkeys. This girl just got peed on by a monkey and I had just fed another monkey. I was backing out of the circle of monkeys eating when I accidentally stepped on a baby monkey’s tail and lemme tell ya, commotion ensued. There was an AWFUL awful scream from the baby monkey and then literally everyone else who was in the area backed away until it was just me and the monkey, and the big daddy monkey. He looked so pissed I was so scared. He started punching my leg, of course it didn’t hurt, but I really was terrified he was about to bite my leg off. I apologized but of course it didn’t understand...it was so scary alright.

After the monkey forest we went to the Tegalalang Rice Terrace. We had lunch along the rice terrace and hiked in after. The restaurant had this super cute swing that you could take a photo with and then when we walked in it was so cool to see how far the rice terraces extended. Honestly, so beautiful. We visited the Tegenungan Waterfall after. It wasn’t the waterfall that we wanted to visit, but our driver took us to the wrong one (lol ty driver). It was really brown because it was winter so there was a ton of water and took a lot of mud with it. We didn’t end up swimming in the big waterfall because of time, and because the water was just flowing too fast, it was kind of dangerous. There was a baby version before you reached the big one and we spent some time in that. It was so refreshing!!! But I also think this is where I got my worst mosquito bite /: (which I am convinced is how I got mild dengue fever bc I had a mild fever that made me skip all my classes and sleep for a day two days after we got back. Prian scared us all about dengue and that was all I could think about for a lot of the trip tbh)

We wanted to catch sunset at the Tanah Lot temple so we were rushed for time from the waterfall. We ended up getting there a little early and snagging some food. I tried this sticky coconut rice snack that was so delicious. The temple itself was honestly not that impressive. There were way too many people, it made it really hard to enjoy our time. There were too many clouds so the sunset was eh as well. The temple is supposed to be really cool because you walk on this sort of natural bridge path to the actual temple that is surrounded by water, but we couldn’t reach it because water levels were too high (aka not really ideal time to visit Bali tbh). That night we were beat but I will say I had a dank meal that night. Mi goreng!! Mi goreng is an Indonesian fried noodle dish that we got for nearly every meal and was so good.

The next day a couple of us wanted to rent scooters and ride around. The area that we were staying in was pretty mellow so we figured it wouldn’t be too dangerous to ride them around. However, the rental guy wouldn’t even let us get them. It was actually really sweet of him. He said that if he rented them to us he would make a bunch of money and if we got injured or ruined the bike he would make even more, but he didn’t care about the monkey, he didn’t want us to get hurt. In the end we tried the scooters in an alley way but didn’t get to rent them /: probably smart though...definitely smart actually.

We hired a driver that the other part of the group (everyone minus me and brittney) had from the airport for the rest of the day. Apparently he was really cool and would Facebook live their journey (kinda weird tbh), let them hotspot his wifi in the car, and was just a cool guy??? We didn’t spend that much time with him this day so I don’t really know. We were leaving this day but we wanted to spend the morning seeing a beautiful temple and experiencing some actual clear blue water. We drove to Uluwatu Temple which was so beautiful. It was a temple on this rocky cliff with amazing blue water below. One of the most stunning views I’ve experienced if I’m being honest. Before we walked into the temple though, there were these SAVAGE monkeys on the outside parking lot. I’m telling you, these monkeys are so feisty and conniving!!! The monkey came and snatched this women’s glasses out of her hands and then proceeded to snap them in half. Two people in my group also had glasses and immediately became super cautious, but even still, one of the monkey’s jumped on Prian’s back and swiped his glasses off his face. He was just biting and playing with the glasses for awhile and we were all praying that he wouldn’t snap them in half. Eventually, our driver called over one of the local temple workers and she gave the monkey a banana bunch and he finally dropped the glasses, unharmed (minus a couple bite marks). Strong start to the day ya know. For the rest of the time at the temple, we all clutched on to our stuff to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. Also, random fact but the temples have weird rules like if you’re pregnant or on your period you can’t go in...

After the temple, we ventured to Dreamland Beach. All we wanted was a beautiful clear blue water beach like we saw from the temple. Dreamland was a resort, private beach and we decided to splurge (when I say splurge I mean it was $3 entrance fee instead of free basically lol) on this private beach. From the outside it really did look incredible, but once you looked closer there was trash everywhere. We didn’t even spend time in the water because we ended up just swimming in trash. It was really sad actually. There was a river type deal that the ocean ran into and it was FILLED with trash. The sustainability side of me was really torn up by it, I almost got a bag to help clean up, no lie. It was heartbreaking. The worst part was people at the resort who were just tanning in the sun, taking these Insta photos with no regard to the trash around. Insta vs real life has never been more real. Post beach we drove to the airport, blasting some Canadian jams (Drake and “Out for a rip”) and listened to Prian belt some Jackson 5.

Bali, man. Definitely not what I expected, but also as always no regrets.

There were just a lot of annoying admission fees. The people weren’t the nicest. Dengue fever paranoia. I was just overall on edge because it was my first trip out in the real Southeast Asian area and people kept freaking me out about getting hit by a scooter or getting cholera from the water or dengue from the mosquitoes (mossies!!!), it made it hard to enjoy the trip. But Bali was still very beautiful. We didn’t have time to see Heaven’s gates or climb Mount Agung but I would for sure come back to do a more retreat type trip and do those things :-)

an eye opening experience to say the least. first trip done and I am STOKED for more

#bali #dlwng

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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659

Mosquitoes find you particularly delicious. The rainy season where I live is essentially equivalent to mosquito season, so there is definitely a certain period in a year where they are more than usual; and because I like having just my windows open when I sleep (I find the aircon too cold most of the time), the mosquitoes find their way to my room and so there’d be days I’d wake up filled with new bites. I’m lucky enough to have never had dengue. You cheated on Heads Up 7 Up in elementary school. We don’t play that here. We do have a game called 7 Up and it *may* be a variation of that, but 7 Up involves running and chasing haha. You had a favorite Spice Girl. I’m definitely not old enough to have reached Spice Girls’ peak, and out of all of them I only know Victoria Beckham. You remember watching the first episode of SpongeBob when it came out. I was only a year old when Spongebob first came out, so I didn’t watch it by then. I do know what episode you’re talking about, though – Spongebob was pretty much all I ever watched as a kid. You like to draw. I was never any good at drawing, so I hate every bit of it.

You wish you had a car. Sort of? I have my own car bought by my parents, but I am aiming to get my own car when I could afford it. My dream car is the Mini Cooper Clubman. You used to want to be a model. I’m embarrassed by it now, but it was a legitimate dream of mine before, so much so that I let my dad know of my intention (then) of becoming a runway model. Idk, I had a past friend who was into VS models and reblogged them all the time, so her interest rubbed off on me and I wanted to be like them as well. I cringe every time I remember, lmao. You wanted to be on the show All That. I wanted to be on all the Nickelodeon shows that had the same theme as All That. You enjoy public speaking. I’m good at it and can enjoy it on a good day, but sometimes I’ll get anxious. You have witnessed something supernatural. Nope. I’ve had friends tell me their stories and I believe them, but I can’t say the same for myself. You believe in the supernatural. Just ghosts. I don’t believe in folk creatures, like the ones we have in our native culture. You aren't heterosexual. My survey answers in the last six or so years have made this very blatant. You think the whole transgender thing is stupid. That’s twisted and sad and pitiful. You own a dreamcatcher. Two – one mini dreamcatcher and another giant one. I’ve had an attachment to them since seeing New Moon of the Twilight Saga – there’s a part where Jacob gives Bella her own dreamcatcher at a time when she got depressed and was having nightmares every night, and I know there had been many times when I was like Bella, so I wanted one for myself as well. You'd want a boho wedding. So not my style. My wedding’s going to be minimalist and at most, pastel-themed. You think pink is the best color for cars. Not for me, no. Simple is better; I like my cars white. You've been called a free spirit. Nope, and rightfully so. I wouldn’t call myself a free spirit either. I like trying out new things, but I also like having security blankets and safety nets around. You're the same height as your mom. Yeah pretty much. She’s just a tiny bit taller. You grew up watching Nickelodean. I grew up watching Nickelodeon*, but this works too. My cousins and I just flipped among three channels – Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, and Cartoon Network.

You have a sibling who looks like you. Nah we all have our own distinct looks. There are angles and expressions wherein we look more similar, but generally it’s easy to tell us apart. You like to write in a journal. This account is pretty much like my journal, and I love using this blog for my thoughts and ramblings. You're tired. It’s Friday, it’s the end of the week, and I’m so, so, SO tired. And of course I’m celebrating by drinking two cups of coffee and staying up as late as I want, lol. You felt sick today. The last time this happened was late last year. I felt feverish while I was out for dinner with Gab, but the weird thing about it was that I felt better and as if nothing happened literally a half hour later. You're very creative. That is the LAST word I would use to describe myself. You can be disorganized. I’m organized about a lot of things, but I’m also disorganized about a lot of things. I could never maintain my closet no matter how much I put an effort to fold everything neatly and start from square one. You have a fever right now. Nope.

You've enjoyed babysitting. We never explicitly used this term but I was always the go-to elder kid to look out for my baby cousins, especially when we still lived under the same roof as an extended family, and I loved every bit of it. I was okay with being the motherly figure while everyone else played games or with toys. You want to go to New York City to visit. Yeah. I like bustling cities, so I feel like NYC would be right up my alley. I don’t care much for Times Square though and I would probably spend most of my time going to their museums. You love tea. I’m not obsessed with it; I can take it or leave it. And I don’t like the teas that come with a teabag; I drink either the traditional Chinese tea or just sweet, unhealthy iced tea altogether. You don't play an instrument. Yeah and I get sad about this like two times a day lmao. I wish I could play just a tiny bit of piano and/or violin. You used to want Taylor Swift's hair. I never actively wanted to be anything like her. You enjoyed High School Musical. Of course. I was THERE when it came out, and I stayed for every bit of the first film, High School Musical 2, and High School Musical 3. I was right smack in the middle of the HSM frenzy and it’s one of the more cherishable moments of my childhood haha. Everybody knew the songs, the steps to We’re All In This Together, and had HSM shirts, bags, pencil cases, and notebooks. You watched The Rugrats Movie in the theater. I barely remember that it had a movie, and I don’t think I ever saw it. Definitely not in the cinemas. You've performed on stage in a musical. I’ve performed on stage (as part of a big group) for annual school productions, but I think they were all plays. Hated every second of it. You've had the lead role in a musical. Certainly not. You've had cramps so bad you threw up. No, but close. A few weeks ago I had a headache SO bad I actually had to run to the toilet only to dry heave. It’s never happened to me before so I got scared and I just slept it off to see what happened the next day. You've never had Nutella. 2010 Tumblr pressured everybody to get Nutella because it was all the rage at the time and all the cool kids were having it, so I also did at some point. You have a favorite blanket. The one Gabie gave me two Christmases ago is my favorite. You own family heirlooms. I’m sure we have some but they haven’t been passed on to me yet.

You have carved and painted pumpkins before. No, pumpkins aren’t really a thing here. As far as I know, coloring/painting on Easter eggs is a more common activity. You have colored Easter eggs. Yes, I used to do this with my (second) cousins when they were younger.

You've walked through a haunted house. I always say I’m into horror stuff, but tbh I think horror movies are the furthest I can go HAHAHA. I’ve never been in a haunted house whether day or night, and I think the only time you’d get me to do it is if I got paid for it. You've dressed up on Halloween. Plenty times. I was Dora the Explorer last year :D :D You've tried to kill yourself. You've had a false rumor spread about you. In Grade 6 I had a rumor come back to me saying I was bi and was seeing my friend Andi (who, to be fair, I had a crush on at the time but I didn’t realize it yet). I just found it cool at all that I had a rumor about me considering I wasn’t a popular kid and had literally 2 friends, so I didn’t let it bother me haaaaah. You've been kicked out of a store (whether for a good or bad reason.) It was at a McDonald’s lmao. My friends were playing a card game and were yelling every five seconds; I knew people were going to get pissed so I distanced myself as much as possible even though I was at the same table jkfghdgh. Eventually an old man had had enough and asked us to leave, which I was GLAD to do. You have a favorite stove burner that you always use. I don’t have a favorite...the one I use often just happens to be my regular one. You enjoy eating at fast food restaurants. I find them dirty and nasty so I only eat there if I absolutely have to, but I do like getting takeout and enjoy fast food in general. You like arrows and feathers and peace signs. Ugh cringe, this SCREAMS 2010 Tumblr hahahahaha. I mean I liked all of these at some point, but not now. You want to wear a flower crown for your wedding. Hell no. It was cute for a while, but not anymore. You have signed someone else's yearbook. We don’t do that here. We pay tons of money for our yearbooks that it’s practically destroying them if we ever wrote on them lmao. You were shy in high school. For the first half, I was shy and pretty unpopular. By the latter part of high school I managed to gain friends and end up in the ~popular~ circle, but I was still shy compared to my peers. I didn’t take up a lot of extracurriculars (which is what the popu kids tended to do) but I managed to stay within the circle until the end of it. You're shy when first getting to know someone. Of course, as most would be I would imagine. I can warm up fast, though. You've gotten all A's in a class before. In high school, this was me with English and history. In college, this would be me with my history electives.

You had a favorite class and a favorite teacher in high school. Sure! Our biology teacher in sophomore year was evvvvverybody’s crush. She was so pretty and kind and smart; when we went to a beach for our field trip, I tried getting stung by a jellyfish just so she’d treat the bite on my leg cos she was one out of two faculty members who knew how to treat stings HAHAHAH. I didn’t get the highest marks in her class, but I enjoyed nonetheless. You were a teacher's favorite. BY NO MEANS. Gabie was, though. We were total polar opposites when it came to how we acted in class. You've won a costume contest. I...don’t think I ever did, but my mom did go all out when it came to coming up with our costumes as kids. You have a favorite Disney princess. It used to be Ariel, then I found her annoying. My present favorite is Rapunzel. You get carsick. Only if I excessively do something while in a moving vehicle, like text or read. You've flown first class. Never have. You hate inequality and wish life were more fair. Don’t we all? You've had a bad neighbor. They weren’t bad per se. Just a bit chaotic and the kids (a little older than I was at the time) clearly had behavioral issues. I was so relieved when they moved out. You've done a cannonball. I don’t think so. You have fallen and hit your head. Nope, and that sounds like the literal worst thing. You like sunflowers. Sure! It’s a popular UP symbol – every year, a few weeks before the university-wide graduation, they’d plant huuundreds of sunflowers to line up the entire road leading to my school :) We usually refer to sunflowers as a sign of encouragement to keep on keeping on, so that one day the sunflowers will bloom for us as well. You like the name Skylar. It’s alright. I like it because it’s the name of the badass mom in Breaking Bad, but otherwise it’s nothing too special for me. You've had a friend named Sarah. I have acquaintances with the name Sarah but they’re not my friends. You have an Aunt Robin. Nope. I would end up being the Aunt Robyn in a few years, hahahaha. You have an Uncle Rick. I’ve never heard of an Uncle/Tito Rick, but with how big Filipino families are I wouldn’t be surprised if I turned out to have one. You have a cousin Annabelle. No, but close. I have an Auntie Bel whose whole name is Amabel. You think flying a kite is boring. I never had fun doing it, or whenever we had to do it as a school activity. You were born in the year of the Dragon. Tiger, yo. You like your Chinese zodiac sign better than your American one. I don’t care for either. Your laptop has shut off because it got too hot. It’s never done this before, thank goodness. I try not to overwork it either. You've accidentally caught something on fire. Nope, I don’t think this has happened to me before. You make your bed every day. Aside from my mom requires me to, a neat bed makes the entire room feel much cleaner so I do it anyway. You wear a digital watch. I have a bad record of losing watches, so I never like wearing them. You have a favorite park. We don’t have a lot of parks here to even pick favorites from to begin with, which is a shame. You've hiked a mountain. I want to sooooo bad. It’s just never happened before/yet. You want to hike a mountain again. ^ You've been a slave. What the fuck. You feel like you've had your free will stolen from you. My parents were quite strict before but it never felt this bad. You speak in tongues. If you mean I can speak more than one language, then sure. You enjoy medieval festivals. Never been interested in anything medieval. Your favorite fair ride is the pirate ship. I don’t ride rides. Cotton candy isn't that good. It’s a cute concept but I wouldn’t always pay for it. Men look good in pink. Men – and anybody – would look good in any color so long as they’re comfortable with it lol. You went to youth group. Hell no. I’m glad my mom never forced me either. You were baptized in a lake. No. Just in a church. You were on Color Guard. I have no idea what this means. You went to your senior prom. We had a junior prom that I went to, and that was it for my school; but I was also asked to go to a senior ball of another school. Your first kiss was just an experiment. No, it was a legit kiss. You dated a guy you didn't like. Almost did, though. You have fallen asleep in class. Never. I never want this to happen, either. You have won an award. A few times. You type fast. Yeah, you get used to it through the years. You have a lot of dreams for your future. I still want to do a lot, yes. You've gone camping in the woods. Never, but it’d be a cool experience. I wouldn’t want to be alone though. You love to sleep under the stars. I don’t get to do this but it sounds like a lovely time. You've gone camping in the fall. I haven’t gone camping at allllllll. You own a pair of slipper socks. That sounds way too hot for where I live lmao.

#survey #surveys

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