#my art class involves me writing more than drawing

[koka-mi]

IT'S THE WEEKEND LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[i-study-anons]

Hello, Tumblr users and Anons! I am Dr. Oren Sulien, and welcome to my SCP RP blog that is definitely just an RP blog because the SCP Foundation totally isn't real!

I'm here for the very first research project that I personally have been put in charge of: Studying SCP-8947, commonly referred to as "Anon(s)". So please, Anons, by all means, send in as many asks as you would like! Every single ask sent to this blog WILL be answered.

Oh, and I suppose it is also important that I introduce my current assistant, D-9983, who will be answering any asks that may be harmful to the answerer.

Blog Rules and such under the cut!

((OOC for this blog will be in double parentheses like this. Also, hi! You can call me Rii, and my pronouns are they/he. I'll introduce myself more properly at the end of the post. Oh, also everything below the cut on this post is OOC despite the lack of parentheses.))

RULES:

- No outright NSFW. Suggestive is fine, but nothing explicit.

- I don't do chain asks. They're exhausting and come off as pretty meaningless to me.

- Asks that sign off with an @ will not count as anon asks. This is because asks cannot be sent from sideblogs. Any asks sent as Oren or the assistant will be on anon and signed of with "- @i-study-anons"

- Don't be homophobic or racist or transphobic or any of that nasty stuff. I don't want that here

- I WILL RP with non-gimmicks

- I am RPing as a character running a Tumblr blog, hence the lack of actions or anything else that isn't dialogue. However, there are exceptions*

- If you have a question for ME and NOT Oren or the current Assistant, PLEASE SPECIFY that the ask is meant to be answered OOC!

- Be nice and polite when interacting with me OOC

*If another blog that has been deemed anomalous does an action that affects Oren or the current D-Class (ex. punching one of them in the face), the affected character will also end up having actions for the rest of that interaction as a result.

TAGS:

#Posted by Researcher - posts made by Oren

#Posted by Assistant - posts made by the current assistant

#Posted by OOC - OOC posts

#OOC reblog - mostly stuff to ask from RP/Writing meme blogs, self explanatory

#in character reblog - posts that Oren would decide to reblog (and did decide to reblog)

#someone to study! - anons, both from asks here and looking at anon asks on other blogs

#ordinary ask - non-anonymous asks

#other anomalies - post pertaining to anomalies other than the Anons

DIRECTORY TO OTHER IMPORTANT POSTS:

-List of anomalies (and staff!) involved with this blog

-Character Info

-Current File on Anons/SCP-8947 (coming soon)

OOC INFO:

You can call me Riiviir or Rii. I'm transmasc, almost 18, and my pronouns are they/he. I'm also autistic and have ADHD, both of which might be accidentally self projected onto any character I write. (I am not comfortable sharing my actual birthday, so if you want to wish me happy birthday, do it on September 15th, since that's the middle of my birth month.)

My current hyperfixations are Animal Crossing and Cult Of The Lamb, and my special interest is sound and audio. This is my first serious RP blog here, but I have been RPing outside of Tumblr for about 7 or 8 years. (I don't know when exactly when I started, but it's something around that. This has been a hobby of mine for awhile.)

Aside from RP, I also like drawing, songwriting, and probably any other sort of creative art. I'm also working on learning RPG Maker so I can make my own game!

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

HELP your time travel shenanigans fic idea about toji being very much alive but still putting the fate of his two little ass kids in the hands of a bunch of 16-17 year olds even if he’s still breathing. if i was megumi then my abandonment issues would’ve gone crazy if that happened to me 😭. mamaguro is looking down from the pearly white gates IN ANGER at toji’s audacity i just know it.

but now i’m curious on other ideas (that you have) for fics about jjk that you may or may not get to after sea glass gardens.

see the sad thing is that letting a bunch of 16-17 year old bitchy disaster gays discover the magic of teen parenthood is actually a step up because he had already sold Megumi to the Zenin and feral wolverines would be a better alternative to them. This was the best parenting decision toji has ever made.

(Time travel!Megumi: look we don’t have any other options. Anything is better than the Zenin.

Gojo, in the distance: they’re what three? That’s old enough for a red bull

Geto: I will actually kill you over this satoru

Time travel!megumi: *deep breath*)

A loose catalogue of my jjk fics, which may or may not exist one day:

Sea glass gardens verse:

I am forever compelled by the siren call of expanding my fics into universes because one story is never enough for me. I’ve got threeish stories in this universe, with no promises of how many, if any, I’ll write.

1. The Teen Parenting Chronicles: Gojo, Nanami, and Shoko’s expert guide to raising children when you are, in fact, children. Featuring what the fuck happened with the Zenin the first time around.

2. Megumi’s pov of what just happened leading up to sea glass gardens: someone asked me if I’d ever write this and it has the highest chance of existing because I have. Sort of. Started writing it. I have impulse control issues.

3. Okkotsu Yuuta and the world’s longest distance panic attack: crack fic of Yuuta on his study abroad trip becoming increasingly more frantic at the other second year’s updates as to how His Boy’s first year as a jujutsu sorcerer is going. What do you mean sukunas there. What do you mean he doesn’t have a shirt. Well put one on him!

Time travel AU:

1. The Time Traveler’s Guide to Fucking Shit Up And Living Well: following another attempt on their lives by the higher ups, the first year gang is forced into a desperate, high stakes gamble with a time-centric curse that puts their very existences at stake. If they want to survive, they have to complete one task of their choosing in the past before the clock runs out. Their mission?

To punch fushiguros shitty bio dad in the face, something which will surely have no long term consequences on the timeline.

See this one has the most chance of actually existing one day because it is by far my FAVORITE jjk fic I have. It even beats out sea glass gardens. I desperately want to write it.

2. The 2006 Gang and the Art of a Good Union: following a confusing incident with the star plasma vessel and three unknown sorcerers, the 2006 Tokyo jujutsu high first and second year class inexplicably goes off the rails and retires from jujutsu sorcery, claiming that they’ve discovered the magic of teen parenthood and can in no way risk themselves in such a dangerous profession now that they have kids to think about. At least, not with the way things are run now.

No one knows where they got the children from.

3. Toji Fushiguro and the Dead Beat Dad Chronicles: in which toji fushiguro succeeds at being a dead beat baby daddy to two teenaged gay boys and their crew of bitchy lgbtq compadres, who in no way want him to be involved in their children’s lives.

Standalones:

1. “Fushiguro is unleashed in junpei’s school like an invasive superpredator” AU: I’ve talked about this one in way more detail in another post for an ask game, but the idea is that itadori discovers junpeis abuse at school and says Not On His Fucking Watch and escalates the matter to gojo, who decides the funniest possible solution while they try to draw out mahito is to unleash his all star delinquent son into junpeis high school to bully the bullies.

Fushiguro resents this as a problem solving strategy.

2. The Zenin raise Megumi AU: also discussed in more detail in an ask game. In which people took Tsumiki’s little brother from her, but she’s trying to get him back, she promises.

Or, in which the Zenin take megumi, leave tsumiki, and they both spend every day after fighting to get back to the other.

3. Sort of a no curse AU: Itafushi romance story, in which local himbo Itadori Yuuji falls for delinquent Fushiguro Megumi when his grandpa is placed in the room next to Fushiguros comatose sister. Starts as a no curse AU… except there’s totally curses, Tsumikis mom just moved them to Sendai without telling anyone so the Zenin never found Megumi, and he’s just never told anyone about the curses he sees because he’s worried he’s schizophrenic. He thought the shikigami thing was a metaphor for self actualization or something.

4. Fushiguro Megumi and the World’s Most Inconvenient Custody Battle: pre JJK0, Geto decides to be a shithead magic terrorist at a local school that represents all the worst of monkey society: it’s known for a rampant bullying issue, which is a breeding ground for cursed spirits, and it contributes to the risk to jujutsu sorcerers by feeding a local legend of a haunted bridge that could explode into a serious curse any day.

What he didn’t count on? Finding the new Ten Shadows in the student body, who’s fully willing to kamikaze them both if it means saving his sister’s life.

And who doesn’t seem to be aware that he more than has the potential to take suguru in a fight.

In which Fushiguro just wanted to shut up, go to school, and go home, and instead finds himself in a binding vow to give cult life a whirl to save the lives of classmates he doesn’t even like all that much.

It involves oddly more parenting than he expected.

5. Fake Fiancés AU: prodigy and noble prize winning physicist Gojo Satoru, following a very ill advised fuck buddies arrangement with fushiguro toji, has settled down into domestic bliss with the two kids he took from the relationship despite them not, in any way, being related to him. The problem? His ex is back in town. The hot one. The one who broke up with him and started a cult. The one who he wants to convince he got over when he absolutely did not do that.

The solution? Tell everyone he’s happily engaged to Nanami Kento, who cannot express enough how much he does not want him to do that.

… until, all of a sudden, he needs a show of domestic bliss himself. His adoptive son’s older brother, sukuna, has crawled out of the woodwork and decided to make a play for custody himself. And Nanami does not know what Sukuna truly wants, but he knows it does not have Yuuji’s best interests at heart.

I share custody of this story with my best friend, who cocreated it with me over deranged text message. I may convince her to joint write it with me if I ever get her to publish her fanfic.

6. Todo Aoi and Schrodinger’s Boyfriend: Todo’s beloved brother, who is most assuredly a man, suffers some kind of terrible brain damage that leads him to confess he loves an assless boy. Todo cannot abide by this, until it’s pointed out to him that if Fushiguro’s type is his brother, that would make him the most interesting man alive. If it is not, he continues to be a boring and uninteresting boy.

Todo sets off on a mission with two goals: determine if fushiguro megumi is interesting, and get him to do some squats. because there’s simply no ass there.

Fushiguro wonders why his life is suddenly harder.

7. Choso and the Art of Being a Big Brother: choso discovers the truth of kenjaku early and does the only logical thing in response: he kills his father in his sleep, cuts out his brain, and delivers it in a jar to his new brother Itadori Yuuji as the first step in wooing him into domestic sibling love.

Megumi doesn’t know where these people come from. Or why all of them think itadori is their brother.

8. SatoSugu realizes their little boy is all grown up when he gets his first crush on a boy when he meets yuuji.

They do not fucking take it with grace.

Also co-written with my best friend via text message.

9. The instagram chronicles: crack fic in which the jujutsu sorcery personnel crisis gets worse, because nobara Kugisaki keeps trying to hard launch her instagram influencer career, and keeps accidentally making every jujutsu sorcerer instagram famous except for her

10. So I don’t actually ship Yuuta and Megumi, but I do really like the idea of low stakes relationships? Like, especially for teen romances. You tried it, decided you were better off as friends, and just went back to being friends. I just like the idea of fumbling around in relationships and getting a sense of boundaries and what you’re interested in without it being a big, world-shaking romance. It seems like a more realistic portrayal of high school relationships than every one of them being this world-defining mature love.

Pre season 1 but post JJK 0, Yuuta and Megumi dated for maybe a month and half, held hands maybe twice, and decided that they were better off as friends and parted on good terms. The issue?

No one realized they were dating. And when it is realized, everyone thinks their relationship was torpedoed because the second years kept inviting themselves onto their dates.

Cue the jjk high school students trying to amend old mistakes and get Yuuta and Megumi back together, who do not, in fact, want to be back together. Headlining Inumaki Toge, who is half in love with Yuuta and does not know why he’s helping get him together with someone else, and Itadori Yuuji, who is half in love with Megumi and also does not know why he’s helping get him together with someone else.

[hannahyesss]

Last year was a remarkable one for me. I started a new career that I love and find challenging and rewarding. I fell in love with exercise and gave up feeling guilty about eating, and now I’m getting into the best shape of my life. I turned thirty. I jumped back into writing fanfiction and drawing fan art. I made new friends (and gave up on some friendships). And I’m poor as hell because I spent a month in Europe during the summer, and my school district hates teachers! But honestly, I’m so happy to be here. We’re already a week into the new year, and I can really sense that this is going to be a tough one, yet I feel ready to take it on.

Instead of a New Year’s Resolution, each year, I pick a word or theme. Every time I have a choice, I ask myself: which action would align with my overall values for the year? My theme last year was “Health.” Mental, physical, emotional, etc. I’d ask myself “Is this healthy for me?” Should I take a solo trip to Portugal? Should I eat pastries for breakfast? Should I go for a run? (The answer to all of these was yes.)

Here is how I embodied “Health” in 2023.

I had ADHD for nearly thirty years and didn’t know it. In that time, I graduated from high school and college and earned my graduate degree. When I reflect on how I achieved these things without the slightest idea I had a combination type ADHD, there are two things that stand out to me.

First, for most of my life, my anxiety has been debilitating and has kept me on track in a very rigid, uncomfortable way. Fearing that I would miss a deadline, my brain used to cycle through checks almost compulsively—which assignment is due? Did I pay my doctor’s bill? Do I have enough money in the bank? I was always at least twenty minutes early to everything because I was terrified of being late. I did my homework in class during work time because I didn’t want to bring it home and forget. (I was also very lucky that I took naturally to traditional education—I had good teachers in high school, but the curriculum was also very easy for me.)

Anxiety is an excellent mask for ADHD—but the cost is constant exhaustion.

Second, I have always gravitated towards jobs that keep me on my feet and running around solving problems. I managed a retail boutique for about five years which suited my ADHD very, very well. I was never involved with a task for more than fifteen minutes at a time. If I’m creating a book order and a customer walks in, I’ve got to stop my current task for a short amount of time and come back to it. I could always switch my brain very easily from one task to the next. Very stimulating! I’m a teacher now, and it’s basically the same thing.

By 2019, however, my anxiety had become so unmanageable that I couldn’t look at my bank account, I couldn’t keep my apartment clean, and I couldn’t even begin to think about doing laundry. I began working with my therapist specifically on getting my anxiety under control. It was really hard work! It involved identifying triggers and sitting with exceptionally uncomfortable feelings without judgment of myself. The story of getting a firm handle on anxiety is fairly long, so I’ll skip over several years of work to say that my anxiety is manageable now.

It took years, but my constant state of high energy anxiety has calmed significantly. While this is good, I had no idea what it was masking. ADHD symptoms began to take over my life. I cried all the time because I kept losing my phone or I set my keys down somewhere stupid or I was starting to be late to everything. Laundry was even more of a herculean task and keeping my apartment clean was a constant battle. Tackling anxiety with my therapist helped me see that untidiness is not a moral issue, but damn! I was still frustrated that I tripped over stuff or that my clothes were never clean! My therapist started squinting at me as these problems cropped up, and eventually, they were like, “These are fairly classic ADHD symptoms.”

I really, really resisted this diagnosis. I had been fine fine fine for my whole life. I have a Master’s degree! I’m a teacher! If it’s hard for me to do laundry, it’s just because I don’t like doing laundry. If it’s hard for me to brush my teeth twice a day, it just means I’m a person with poor hygiene. And the thing is, I was completely capable of doing these things. I did them all the time! It’s just that I felt so tired, and it was just a matter of forcing myself to get it done. After all, does anyone really like doing chores?

“But I don’t think you understand how much harder you’re working to do them,” my therapist argued.

“It’s hard for everyone,” I remember saying.

“Right, but for the ADHD brain, you have to use a lot more energy to get started and to get finished the things you don’t want to do.”

All right, fine. That might be true.

So I started to accept that I miiiiiight have ADHD. My mom was shocked when I told her and insisted she didn’t remember me bouncing around or having trouble keeping up with assignments in school. (Except that wasn’t…actually true. I had a gazillion late assignments in elementary school but then I switched from private school to public in sixth grade, and school became much easier. I could keep up because I was usually finished before other kids.)

But diagnosis seemed impossible. I didn’t want to go through the whole debacle of setting up a doctor’s appointment, calling insurance, finding someone to assess me, yada yada yada. (Side note: the cruelest thing to do to a person with undiagnosed ADHD is to make them jump through a lot of administrative hoops to get to their diagnosis. Which is exactly what you have to do.)

At the same time, my sister was going through her own journey of getting an ADHD diagnosis. However, when she began treatment for ADHD, I wasn’t particularly surprised because her behaviors looked much more like classic symptoms to me. She went on meds as soon as she could and told me that it just felt like she wasn’t so tired anymore. That she could just… do things. And like, yeah, speed can do that for a person. But honestly, I was thinking I could use some controlled substances to boost my brain energy if they’d give them to me.

By the time I was able to get in with a psychologist, I was already most of the way through my first year as a teacher. I couldn’t sit through curriculum planning meetings without getting lost in the conversation, I couldn’t keep my mind focused during my own lesson planning, and I couldn’t fucking grade papers for more than ten minutes at a time. Damn, though, I was really good at pretending I was a well-functioning adult. I can lie my ass off, and I am a fairly good actor, so I was terrified the psychologist was going to tell me that it wasn’t ADHD—I’m just lazy and dumb and I need to try harder.

Shockingly, this is not what he told me. He said I have combined type ADHD which means hyperactive and inattentive. Hilariously, he said since Covid started, he has seen a huge influx of teachers getting diagnosed. It’s a job that attracts ADHD types because you’re never doing the same thing for long and it’s just constant stimulation. (I was chatting with a fellow teacher friend about it who also has ADHD—two other teacher friends overheard our conversation, grimaced at each other, and muttered that they might need to make appointments with their doctors too…)

Pretty soon I started meds, and it was life-changing. I realized that I was using food for stimulation for most of my life which was why it was so fucking hard to keep a healthy weight. I can now run longer distances because I’m not sabotaging myself by constantly remembering how bored I am or how much I want to stop. Grading papers still sucks but I can now grade for a few hours at a time, take well-planned breaks, and then jump back into it. Although not officially designated a symptom of ADHD, my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is much more manageable. I’m not constantly critiquing myself in the mirror anymore.

It’s truly been fascinating to see these changes in the last six months.

That’s not to say I’m cured or things are super great all the time. Laundry is still a struggle and I spent most of my weekend just lounging around the apartment (and called it rest). Last week, I increased my Adderall dosage to 15mg because what worked in the summer when I’m off work is NOT enough during the school year. In any case, I’ve been reflecting on how my diagnosis has helped me to see areas of growth in my life. Instead of “oh, I’m just an impulsive shopper,” it’s more like, “Oh, you are very susceptible to targeted ads. Let’s be cognizant of that and create a check system that helps you decide if you really need to buy that thing.”

I’ve learned that ADHD is NOT an excuse. I do NOT get to opt out hard things because of neurodivergence (I mean, sometimes yeah, I do, but not all the time, lol). Instead, it’s been a fun challenge to assess what I feel like I can’t do and figure out a way to trick my brain or work with my cute little weirdo brain to get shit done. I love puzzles! And damn if my brain isn’t one huge puzzle.

So here’s my advice: there is no such thing as laziness. If your problem is that you think you’re lazy, but since laziness doesn’t exist, it has to be something else. It could be ADHD—it could also be that you expect someone else to do the thing for you or that you’re depressed or that doing that thing you’re ignoring just isn’t something you care about.

Keep reflecting and remembering that you are not static.

Book recommendation: How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis

[candythepuppy]

Insanely basic tips for writing fights:

So... You wanna throw some characters at other characters and tell them to kill each other, huh? Well, in order to make all that interesting, ya gotta consider these tips first.

1. I've been in martial arts for over six years and animation for just as long. So of course I'm going to suggest you plebs do a little research first. Wanna know how it feels to punch someone? Punch someone. Wanna know how it feels to get punched? Come over to my place.

Even learning simple stuff like rolls, stretches, differing exercises, and the most basic of techniques can help out a ton. At the very least, it'll keep people from making this face at you: ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

You don't have to go all out like me, but at least learning the fundamentals of physics and how certain injuries will affect the fight can help. Take these fun little tip for example: there's a vein on the neck that, when hit properly, will make you instantly pass out. It only takes eight seconds to choke someone out to the point of fainting as long as you're holding them right..and if you keep it up, then just wait five minutes and they'll be dead. Anywhere in-between can give them serious head injuries they'll likely never recover from. There are a thousand more, but I'll stop there. Trust me. I've learned more about biology from karate than from actual Biology class.

2. I feel like this is also a given, but at the very least, know what your surroundings are. Find ways to implement the setting into the fight creatively.

Example: two people are fighting in the desert and one tosses sand into the other's eyes. Or, two people are fighting in that same desert, but the one currently losing is being shoved into the sand, choked alive by all the granules.

Also please remember that when your characters are in extreme heat or freezing settings, they will fight differently. Maybe it's even the setting itself that is slowly killing the fighters, and the battle is really all about who can last the longest.

At the very least, I'd suggest you do two things in case you have a hard time with this one. (1) gather images of the setting, or at least settings like it. Then, take note of all the elements, obstacles, and even ambiance involved. (2) pick out objects to scatter about the setting that your characters can later pick up and use in the fight. Just make sure they have to do with the setting.

3. The destination of the fight can greatly impact the "vibe."

In the sky: superman level fights, typically very grandiose, larger than life, and impressive (even if written realistically). These are great locations for if/when you're trying to make your character look cool in some way.

On top of buildings/canyons: similarly grand but with more emphasis on stakes. You typically want that sense of uneasiness every time the main character sways or is knocked a little too far away. These scenes are often used around a climax thanks to the perfect level of grandiose tension and realism. It's a great way to get your character on edge and reveal their true feelings, mainly fear.

On the ground, outside: these fights are often much more grounded than most. Often deals with a lot of running/trying out other options beyond fighting. Typically, you're trying to establish what kind of a fighter your character is in these fights + what their morals may be.

On the ground, inside: oddly enough, this is where it gets personal. Mostly because I usually think of someone's home or a grocery store where every action means something. This is typically where the most drama takes place. I'd definitely suggest you lean into the importance of the setting they are fighting in much more than the setting of other fights. (This is also where every word counts.)

Underground: by far one of my personal favorites. The claustrophobia one can draw from these settings is truly something else. The most grounded of any other fight setting. This is where I like to strip the flashy powers and magic from my characters and let them brawl the old fashioned way, getting dirty and going all out. Down here, every punch matters.

There are of course more, but these are the basics!

4. Similar to the first step, please know how the weapons your characters are using work!

5. And of course no fight is complete without (A) build up, (B) understandable reasons for the characters to fight, and (C) clear stakes/what would be lost or gained if either were to lose. Remember, a fight is just an argument acted out. Keeping that in mind will make the whole process so much easier.

Anyways, that's just about it. I could ramble some more, but these are supposed to be the basics!

Anyways, I hope to see you guys again. Thanks for your time. And, seeya!

[fool3]

I've realized that most of my interested are involved in or have at least a little bit of escapism inside. I love acting, and I've never really asked myself why until now. I think it's because of the fantastical and outlandish things I get to do as someone else or even multiple people sometimes. The thought of being something completely different than yourself for even a minute in a strange or familiar place excites me. In fact I can't think of an example of any of the arts not having escapism, even in my comic book style illustrations it's a way to just forget about everything and let your hand move, creating whatever you want, and in that moment you are separate from the world you actually live in. Or if you're making art of something that already exists, like a character that you possibly love, it's a way to surround yourself and meet that character again in a new way, your way. It's the same with reference art, drawing something that does exist in the world. You can find escapism in reality just as easily as watching a television, look at things differently, think about how they were made or the idea behind them, and the new ideas in your head about them.

Things that I escape through in reality are animals. I've thought about why I like them so much but I still haven't come to a definite answer. It could be because they are some of the only things that remain of the world before humans, and that makes me happy. Perhaps it's their huge complexity, their cellular components all functioning together as machines in a machine. It's probably because humans are awful and boring, because I'm one and why would I want to learn more about myself, and looking into an unfamiliar duck's eye and seeing emotion and though, is so much more interesting than seeing it in a familiar human's. These bring me escape because it is a trip out of my world and into one I've never seen before. In a way this secret side of Earth is it's own fantasy land that I want to explore, with its own races and languages.

The last thing that I love the most (I can't decide if I love animals or this more) is Lord of the Rings. Before freshman year in high school I was a fan, I had watched the movies and loved them very much, but only perhaps as an average enjoyer. I got put in the class Reading for Pleasure and decided to take up the Hobbit because my mom and I were talking about it, I even bought my own copies. I read it in nine days and fell in love instantly. After reading the entire thing, I was already hooked, but going to the Hobbiton set in New Zealand, seeing where they filmed Gollum's Pool and the plains of Mordor, and crying while watching them just days after the trip filled me with more joy than I could ever imagine. Middle Earth to me is not just a place in a book with fun cool races, it is a world I think about every single day, full of courage and herosim and inspiration. It is hard to put to words how much I feel about this series, and reading the Silmarillian has only made it better. Just hearing Howard Shore's shire music brings tears to my eyes as I am transported to Bag End, and Bilbo's little Hobbit hole at the top of the hill. The history and world created by Tolkien is so rich that it is just REAL, it has inspired me to create and write things that make me feel the same way, and that is the ultimate escapism.

[incomingalbatross]

Finished my first week (I don't go in on Fridays) of Commute Listening! (Plus a day technically because I did have to go in last Saturday.)

Here's the summary of the undertaking so far...and of just how much car/public transit time I've logged:

Bach's Brandenburg Concertos 1-6 My beloveds--the only classical music that IS for sure on my faves list, because in the period when I had a CD player in my bedroom and about three CDs, these were two of them. Still not sure how well I could identify them, but I recognized them once they started playing and greatly enjoyed them.

Artifexian podcast ep 1. Interesting! All about worldbuilding. Just far enough removed from my own interests (yes I love fantasy, no I don't enjoy worldbuilding, it took me years to process that) that I can listen as, like, a spectator, but also listening to two people who do love worldbuilding makes me feel more positive about it. Like the energy.

Several Masses by Haydn (St. Cecilia, Mass in B flat, Mass in honor of the Blessed Virgin). Beautiful, obviously, but... did not grab me. Might just be that Masses and commuting are not the right combination. Might be my chant-inclined mind going "you're drawing out the words too much." Idk.

Art of Manliness ep 1, about Easy Company. INteresting and informative—a window into a subject I wouldn't have sought out on my own.

Out Alive ep 1. About a skier buried in an avalanche! Again, not something I would have sought out myself, but hearing the skier and the other people involved talk about the impact of a crisis situation and near-death experience, without any polish or dramatization... oof. Really interesting.

Reply All Billed as a "podcast about the internet," the first ep was about a social situation enabled by the internet. Also interesting as a window into someone else's personal experience that I don't think you'd quite get in any other medium than this unpolished interview format. This time about relationships instead of death, though.

In the Wind (album) by Peter, Paul and Mary. Branching aside from classical for some folk, since I was in the headspace for something between podcasts and instrumentals. Good! I recognized several of the songs but definitely not all. They also reminded me of several other country and folk artists I could listen to if I want to keep going down that road, in addition to listening to more of their work.

Vivaldi Concertos for Diverse Instruments GOOD. I loved these! They got stuck in my head afterward! Definitely want to try more Vivaldi. Also reinforcing my theory that any kind of music is good music if it involves violins going wild.

Mozart Violin Concertos 3-5 ALSO very very good. And I think I could hear the cleaner/plainer sound of Mozart as opposed to the baroque I'd just been listening to.

My Writing Sucks podcast ep 1, in which an author lovingly roasts her 14-year-old self's writing. Very fun. Endearing. Kinda makes me want to pull out my oldest, worst writing and approach it from an outside perspective, which I think would be Growth if my fragile ego could actually follow through on that. :P Maybe after a few more episodes of this.

Pints With Aquinas episode 1. This is an introductory episode giving background on Aquinas, as opposed to later episodes which will have more actual theology. Already good, though. Little harder for me to stay focused than some of the more fun ones, but I'll be coming back.

Classics for Kids Short and educational segment about classical music. Definitely told me things I don't know! A little short and a little flat in delivery for my needs, but good stuff.

Stuff You Missed in History Class ep 1. Interesting, but same issue as the above—it was just short. I need to check if episode length varies, and if they're all short I might load up six or so at once to give it a better trial. It was interesting but I couldn't get much flavor from one segment.

In conclusion, this project is definitely a success so far. I've been enjoying my commutes even when there's traffic, and I feel like I'm taking in things that I enjoy and are constructive in some way! It's fun for me. And I have a bunch of podcasts in store for next week that I haven't even touched yet.

[fanarchoslashivist]

Based off your tags.. Im curious to know what type of anon hate you get last year?? Is it because of fandom ship? Im so sorry you’ve been through that!

I hope you have a nice year of 2025! ☺️

Its a bit complicated, I don't know if it's two dedicated people or a group (definitely more than one) but there's more than just "ship war" but yes it does have to do with my shipping Jackrabbit.

Theres a certain subset of fans that think Bunnymund is abusive because of his words towards Jack in the beginning and the how he raises his fist after Easter. They consider the Jackrabbit ship to be excusing that abuse, the issue a lot of people have with me is that I think Bunny is fully justified in not liking Jack. Jack is an ASSHOLE, and I love him for it. Bunny is the character through which we learn about how Jack spent the past 300 years, CAUSING PROBLEMS. He isn't an unknown spirit the Guardians have never heard of, he has a reputation and history and a personal connection with one of them.

The second issue is they argue that Pitch is the "real" hero because fear "keeps kids alive" and the guardians don't bother solving real actual problems facing kids like poverty and abuse.

My discussions over the years about how the start of the movie establishes Jack as someone who causes mischief that other people are left to clean up, both in his interactions with the kids and how Bunny holds a grudge, illustrating that Jack being a bit careless and dismissive of others feelings for his own enjoyment doesn't make him a "bad" person who is incapable of changes. A perfect role model for so called "problem children" who act out to gain attention. I love Jack as a little bastard, writing him causing problems on purpose is my favorite thing. But it does mean I get on the wrong side of a lot of people who flatten his character into tragic fairytale sad-boy.

My discussions about Pitch as being a brilliant allegory for old-style parenting, the classing "do what I say or there will be consequences" and as a symbol of generational trauma due to his tragic backstory, and how cutting off your toxic or abusive family members will get a lot of sympathy for THEM because they are Sad and Lonely and Miss You. This did not go over well with a LOT of people.

Normally I would get a few rude messages, block them, and move on, but last year apparently one of my art peices, or one of the peices made for me it wasn't really clear but SOMETHING about the Stocking Stuffer event got me accused of using fandom celebrations as a way to Block Evade, which is when you use someone else's account or create a new blog to get past a person who blocked you and spy on or try to contact them.

The reason it got so bad last year was because during all the stress, medical, and financial issues I faced the past few years I really started leaning into my fandom to give myself a break and work through it, usually by doodling stupid art for polls and pausing the movie to draw bunny making weird faces to practice him. So I was a lot more active in the tag than I've ever been and as the fandom quieted down that meant my posts were always some of the first things to be seen in the tags, so I got a lot of attention.

Attention isn't a good thing when you are racebenfing the "ethereal white twink" of the fandom into a native trickster spirit. I was accused of being anti-white a lot.

There is I think only two people involved in this that are actually harassing me, with other people only showing up every now and then to voice their opinion in a way that feels hate-adjacent because it's the same old song and dance.

I just delete them and block the new accounts they make, but I deleted most of my art from the site and started drawing on paper and shredding it after to give myself some relief and remind myself i was drawing for myself and nothing other people.

I was very close to just deleting my whole blog and ao3, but there were some very good people in this fandom that helped draw my attention out of fanart and fanfic and focus my energy more towards archiving and collecting. So I made the blog @yetitakinginventory to create a collectors catalog.

[emerulynn]

hi!! i saw a post where u mentioned u go to wdka, im also applying for illustration and im super nervous. whats the worst thing about the school? or do you have any tips for the portfolio?

oh shit sorry I haven’t been checking my asks, but I think yesterday or Friday was the Open Day, idk if you could’ve gone bc that would also help but I hope my rlly late answers help as well 😭

Hmmm the worst thing about the school and I’m gonna be honest here is how it sometimes feels like some of the assignments aren’t helping me all that much?? Like wdka’s concept of illustration is broad, it’s less than just drawing and more of visual storytelling through any medium. So sometimes I find myself struggling with an assignment that doesn’t involve drawing and pushed way out of my comfort zone.

I think it gets better now that I’m in my second year tho because I know how to navigate things better and also learn how to put a bit more balance on personal work and assignments. You just have to get through the Practices and Second big assignment in first year Illustration tbh, that’s the point where most people dropped out 😭 The most useful thing in the school is the facilities, teachers (ask for suggestions or networking opportunities from teachers you think have the same career path/vision as you) and ofc your peers, sometimes classes. Also if you don’t feel like you align with illustration that much you can always switch majors after the first term without having to repeat the year.

Note that I might also be harsh about the academy bc I’m paying international fees which is like 10x the tuition EU students have to pay.

As for the portfolio, they love to see you explore and experiment with different mediums and methods of art-making, so include photography, clay, mixed media work if you have them. If you don’t, don’t worry because my portfolio barely has any range, that was their critique for me after receiving my portfolio too since I mostly drew digitally and only included some analog drawings and photos. but i got in heyy

Another thing is make your portfolio easy to navigate ofc, you don’t have to go over the top with the design, just write concise texts of your work and make it not look confusing. Number your works and number the pages.

That’s it I think they love versatility that’s the main takeaway. Good luck and hope this helped!!

[kaycode1999]

Hey, if you're still doing match-ups, I'd like to request one for mha and kny (I'm giving you two to work with cuz ik there aren't a lot of girls in either 😅)

Age: Minor (over 16)

Sexuality: Lesbian

Pronouns: They/them

Gender: Agender

MBTI: INTP

Zodiac: Gemini

Kins: Bakugou, Jirou, Dabi, Tamaki, Hawks

Aesthetic: Casual grunge/alt fir clothing style, but I love alternative and soft emo

Talents/skills: Drawing/art, writing, dancing, marksmanship/shooting, singing

Love languages: Acts of service, gifts (but I don't know how to respond when given gifts 😅), I HATE physical touch. No touching for me lol

My type: Someone patient and understanding. Supportive and encouraging, but knows when to back off a bit. Also rational, who'll hear out both sides of an an argument and will be willing to negotiate and debate

Physical appearance: I have short (A bit longer than buzzed) blonde/dirty blonde hair and green eyes. I'm 5'6" and have a slim body type

Personality: Around people I don't know, I am very quiet and reserved and barely talk. But I've been told I'm the "class comedian" by people I know. Around people I know, I can be very obnoxious and/or annoying, always making jokes. Despite that, I wouldn't say I'm irresponsible or reckless. I have been told that I'm the parent friend of the group because I'm cautious and care for those around me. I also overthink everything lol

Simply explaining my kins:

Bakugou - I tend to have a short temper and can't handle losing very well. I have a strong desire to excel at everything I do

Jirou - Her and I's aesthetics are similar in terms of clothing and likes. I have a good singing voice and am obsessed with music 😆

Dabi - I have a bunch of traumas and bitterness involving mentally and emotionally abusive parents and spoiled/favourited siblings.

Tamaki - My social anxiety and nervousness around new people. I tend to have a few select friends that I have contact with. I am also very insecure and unsure of myself

Hawks - I am loud and funny with friends and am always doing goofy shit, but I can be serious when the situation calls for it.

I match you with

Itsuka Kendo

*you did say minor and over 16 and what I found said she was 17 so I hope this works*

From what I remember of her she is definitely someone who is; patient and understanding. And she will always be supportive and encouraging, to those she cares about she's their #1 fan *seriously, no matter what it is she’ll be there cheering the loudest*

She will also give you your space when you need it

She is very logical and needs to hear out all the evidence or sides before making her mind up about something

She isn't the most outgoing or talkative herself, so if you're more quiet that's not a problem

She enjoys when you're more joking and outgoing too, and she wouldn't call you annoying or anything like that

She is also caring and the mom friend of the group so you can work together to take care of everyone

[whiterosechrista]

Introduction

So. I'm realizing (with the vent time post kerfuffle) that it'd probably be a good idea for me to give people a basic understanding of who I am and where I come from, so that they can reference it if any of my posts come off odd/offensive/etc. out of context.

Basic Facts

I'm 24 years old, Caucasian, American, biologically female, comfortable with she/her and they/them pronouns. I'm an introvert who doesn't get out often, but I'm not some basement-dwelling Neckbeard-equivalent. I have a strong sense of empathy, which leads me to want to play mediator often (though thankfully I'm aware of my limits and don't act on every want). My likes include anime, storytelling, art, history, SCP, Kpop, science, outer space, and mac n' cheese (among other things). My dislikes include racism, ablism, homophobia, transphobia, and basically anything else involving unreasonable hate.

History

I grew up as effectively a single child, moving back and forth between houses because my parents were already separated, though not officially divorced. They both loved me, and tried their best to raise me well, but (for reasons I'll touch on later) I definitely bonded more with my mom than my dad. There was one house that at least one of them always lived in consistently, so I think of it as my childhood home.

I was a fairly happy child, I think, though there were some issues with bullying that I can't remember clearly anymore, and it did affect me, though maybe not as much as the school itself; I used to love to draw/paint, and I stopped after I got into school because art class convinced me I wasn't doing it "right."

The teachers (some, at least) didn't like that I learned differently than other kids (e.g. making connections between concepts in Math and English at age ~8), and so made me take one of those "morality tests"; multiple-choice questionnaires about moral decisions like returning a lost wallet (which, btw, I left blank because they hadn't given me enough info about the situation; they decided that meant there was something wrong with me).

(Ironically, this was a Montessori school, which are supposed to be less rigid about teaching styles than standard schools.)

So I transferred to a different Montessori school at age ~10, which had a system where kids would sign their name on their class sheet when they came in, and didn't like that I stopped to say hi to kids in other classes first (for reference, my class was on the second floor, the other kids' were on the ground floor).

Thus, for either this or some other reason, they recommended I go to therapy. My mom, thinking "well, she might have reason to need it", agreed. I spent a while there before the therapist said "this is the most well-adjusted child I've ever seen, please leave so I can tend to people who actually need me."

After about a year of this school, Mom asked if I'd like to try homeschooling, and that's what I've been doing ever since (though technically what we did was unschooling, which is a bit different).

It was after I started homeschooling that I started writing, got really into anime to the point of learning Japanese by watching it, and made my best friends to date.

I've done things like ballet, gymnastics, parkour, circus arts, piano, roller derby, and sang/played at Girls' Rock Camp/Club Boston (though I think the name's changed to be more gender-inclusive). I don't do much of this stuff anymore, though I might get back into it at some point.

Pre-Covid, I was taking drawing classes and Japanese classes (mostly for reading it, since anime didn't teach me that), and back in 2022, I got officially certified to teach English as a second language (though I've yet to find a job, unfortunately).

I'm currently living in an apartment with my mom, sitting around with a sprained back, hoping that it'll heal in time for my best friend to take me on a Duck Boat tour in Boston on June 2nd, and blogging for the first time in my life.

I hope this has helped. It feels like an info-dump, but apparently I can't make anything concise, so here we are.

Feel free to ask/comment/dm me for more details about anything (or just to chat). I might not be comfortable with sharing some things, but most things I should be fine with. Just be respectful about it and we should be good. :)

Edit; just realized I didn't touch on why I bonded more with my mom than my dad. The short version is that mom is open-minded, gentle (though she can definitely be stern), and always asks what I want before doing something, and my dad sort of doesn't always "get it." For instance; the moment I turned 16, he started badgering me about getting my driver's license, even though I barely went anywhere that wasn't in walking distance and anywhere I didn't could be accessed by either public transport or someone else driving me. He also wanted me to do SAT prep and similar things, got stuck in the "Alternative Medicine" rabbithole and somehow still manages to be surprised that my mom won't make me try it without my consent (for reference, this was after I sprained my back; it's not the first time he's wanted me to try Alt Meds and definitely not the first time my mom's refused). So, yeah. He's not a bad guy, and he definitely tries, he's just a bit too stuck in his own world sometimes.

[keii]

Okay so I watched these two One Piece movies over the past couple of nights and the different experiences that I have gone through with both of these movies... First of all... I had A LOT of fun watching both of them (tbh more fun than when I watched the One Piece: Red) and I want to watch it again just from recalling it. I won't go super in depth, this is just me going on a tangent about em.

One Piece Gold (left) was a lot of fun, I loved the premise where they entered this huge ass island/boat city of gold filled with entertainment and casinos (I'm like "ohhh they're on the strip! LOL). I liked the build up of the plot and backstory of the villain. Tbh I think this movie did a way better job at building up the villain in comparison to One Piece Red where it just... IMMEDIATELY went into action??? I enjoy being able to immerse myself in the specific plot and feel of a movie, and so I think this movie did better in that aspect. ALSO, THERE WERE SO MANY OUTFIT CHANGES IN THIS MOVIE!!! It's so cute that for a number of them, they're all matching??? Also... um... Zoro in the beginning of the movie where he just had the baseball cap and he's shirtless... uhhhhh he looked so good wtf... wished they had him in that for longer LOL I also thought Luffy looked SO CUTE in the all white outfit with the orange shades and cowboy hat. Really enjoyed the Sabo appearance in this, tho wished I saw him crush a guy's head!! LOOOL Anyway, really liked this movie.

One Piece movie 6: Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island is what I watched last night after holding it off since FOREVER AND TBH I DON'T THINK I'LL LIKE A ONE PIECE MOVIE MORE THAN THIS ONE LOOOL. So the main reason why I wanted to watch this movie was primarily because of the ART STYLE. I LOVE HOW CUTE AND EXAGGERATED IT IS. The flat colors, lanky limbs, thin lines, angles, and expressiveness UGH EVERYTHING. I kept wondering why it felt so familiar and it's because the director of this movie is Mamoru Hosoda! And he directed movies like Mirai (my Goro projection movie), Summer Wars, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Wolf Children (I watched this movie when I was in a 3 hour life drawing class and was bawling), etc. ANYWAY-- his influence was STRONG in this movie because the thing I like about his style is the human INTERACTIONS he has between the characters and showing the closeness, with their touches, or expression, and even utilizing the awkward silences in the conversations. It was SO nice seeing the Straw Hats interact in this kind of way and I am just IN LOVE WITH HOW LUFFY LOOKED IN THIS MOVIE HE WAS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM!!! I also love how when Nami wanted Luffy's attention, she would just GRAB HIS FACE. So anyway, as I was looking more into who was involved in this movie, I saw that Masahiro Ito did the screenplay. I had to do a double take on that name. BITCH. OF COURSE HIS NAME WAS FAMILIAR BECAUSE THAT MAN IS THE ART DIRECTOR FOR TEAM SILENT? MR PYRAMID HEAD CREATOR MAN HIMSELF. WHAT IS HE DOING WRITING THE SCREENPLAY FOR THIS ONE PIECE MOVIE. The whole time I'm just thinking "Oh my god. This movie is going to get REALLY weird." And my god... for One Piece/shounen standards... yeah. There are scenes where I had to turn around to Hun while I was watching and go "... You seeing this." LOL LIKE... I KNOW THIS MOVIE WILL NOT BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT??? It was like watching the weirdest collab One Piece fanfiction come to life. I just really appreciate the direction and vibe this movie had and seeing One Piece in this kind of style. Honestly would love if other anime directors wanted to take their own spin of One Piece and just make a movie. Yah well that's my tangent, I love One Piece LOL

[vera-deville]

"Curiosity Killed the Cat"

02/03/2023 - 02/06/2023

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 2,375

Warnings: ANGST; there's a lot of death here; character death; reader death; let me know if there's more.

Gender: AFAB

Alternate Universe: College AU

Notes: Okay, so lowkey, never thought that I'd ever write angst in my life because I don't even like reading it, but this just happened, okay-

So, basically, I came across a video in YouTube where it asked people, if they wrote a book where the first and last sentences would be the same, but they had completely different meanings, what would it be? Well, the people in the comments section went the ANGSTY route, and like GOD DAMN THEY WERE WILDLY SAD-

But weirdly enough, I felt compelled to write my own version. Except, instead of just writing the sentences, I wanted (and ended up making) an entire one-shot fanfic (so this isn't a request).

I had no idea what sentence I was going to make, or which character I was going to write for, or what fandom I'd write for, or really, anything. But that didn't stop me, because pretty soon enough, I'd decided to write for Shinsou from Boku no Hero Academia, and use an idiom I really like - "curiosity killed the cat."

Now, with the idiom, I ended up adding my own little spin on the way the rest of the idiom goes. It's supposed to go "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." Mine went a little differently (which you'll soon see).

In which the Reader has to through a horrible experience like no other.

"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

It was the same every time. The same words. The same little boy. The same little rockets. The same little happiness.

So why did it have to be like this every time?

︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶

Shinsou remembered the first time he met Y/N.

It was at the playground back in school. All the other kids had their own little groups to play in, and as usual, Shinsou wasn't a part of any of them. Standing oddly off to the side, his childish heart yearned for companionship.

But he knew better than to try and involve himself in one of those groups. The last time ended badly enough. So, with a mind set on not interacting and a heart dismal, Shinsou sat down next to the sandbox and drew shapes in the sand with his fingers. The other children avoided him like the plague (nothing new about that), but it was noticeable to the young purple-haired child that he was gradually becoming used to it.

Shinsou was in the middle of adding legs to his rocket sand art when he heard a rather shrill voice.

"Hey you!" Shinsou flinched.

Slowly turning to the voice, Shinsou readied himself for the rather harsh words children were capable of, though it almost felt like a chore to even bother.

"What are you drawing?" Asked the shrill voice. Shinsou frowned at the source of the voice – a girl around the same age as him (obviously, they were in the same class) wearing a frock and headband that suited her petite frame nicely. She looked put-together. Unlike him with his baggy clothing.

"A rocket." Muttered the young boy. With her hands on her hips, and her brows furrowed, the young girl marched up next to the boy and judged the rocket as an art critic would. Shinsou awkwardly shuffled his feet around the area of sand untouched as he awaited the conversation's continuation (which would without a doubt be terrible).

"That's not how you draw a rocket." The little girl said firmly. Shinsou was slightly pissed. Who the hell was this girl who up and out of nowhere charged over to him, asked to see his sand art, and then judge it the way she did? But before he could get another word in, the girl sat down next to him, careful to not get her dress dirty, and started drawing her own version of a rocket next to his. With some amount of fascination (but still mainly annoyance), the little boy watched the girl draw the strangest looking rocket he'd ever seen.

Before he could stop himself, he muttered, "That's a really weird rocket." Stunned, the girl looked at him, and then chuckled. Without any warning, she suddenly bolted into the classroom, with the teachers telling her to slow down or else she'd hurt herself (she did not listen). Shinsou stared in the direction the new girl left in, before eventually turning back to the (now) two rockets in the sandbox.

Shinsou looked at both the rockets back and forth. His looked like a rocket. But so did hers. Even though it was odd. His looked like the rockets he saw in that one cartoon his mother would put at home. Hers looked...well, he didn't know what it looked like. It looked like there was a tiny airplane attached to the rocket (which looked like a stick). Why was there an airplane on the rocket? And if that wasn't confusing enough, there were two more sticks next to the main stick (which Shinsou could tell was the rocket).

The little girl furiously flipped through the pages of a few different books, determined to find a picture of a rocket to teach the boy what an actual rocket looked like (definitely not the childish one he'd drawn). Fairly soon enough, she found what she was looking for, and rushed right back outside with an even greater speed than when she rushed off to find the picture.

Just as Shinsou was about to erase the rockets to start drawing something else, a familiar shrill voice screamed, "THIS IS WHAT A REAL ROCKET LOOKS LIKE!" Confused, and not to mention slightly embarrassed by the looks he received from the kids around him, he wondered if the girl had something called tact. Clearly not as she was running towards him like a buffalo with the most crazed look he'd ever seen on a person's face.

The little girl sat down once again next to Shinsou, ever careful to not dirty her frock, and pointed at a picture that looked much like what she had drawn earlier. Shinsou was fascinated by the girl's ramblings about rockets and wondered where on Earth she'd learnt about such things.

Before he could stop himself, Shinsou asked the girl, "Why are you talking and being nice to me?"

Confused, the girl looked at him and retaliated his question with a question of her own, "Why shouldn't I?"

Shinsou pondered her words. Why shouldn't she talk to him? Why shouldn't she be friends with him? Oh right. Because eventually she'd find him to be a freak just like everyone else. So, in an attempt to sound cool and broody, he said "I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

Shinsou thought to himself that this girl who randomly popped up (somewhat literally) out of nowhere was a little weird. No scratch that. She was very weird. Typically, kids took one look at him and decided that they wanted nothing to do with him. Not this kid though. She was definitely weird.

︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶

Y/N panted and gasped.

Her chest felt like it was on fire.

Her mind felt foggy and light.

She was late once again. And right when she said that she wouldn't be late. Shinsou would no doubt lecture her about punctuality. Ugh, screw her mind (and her severe lack of ability to run while she's at it) for getting carried away in a matter of seconds because her muscles can't keep up-

Running across one more street and crossing a corner, Y/N was finally in the home stretch of her destination – the café she and her best friend had agreed to meet up at.

And there, right in front of her eyes was the familiar mop of mesmeric purple hair she'd grown to love over the years. The figure who sported the hair had already sat down at a table for two, no doubt having saved a seat for her. He had earplugs in his ears, probably listening to music. He looked peaceful. And completely unaware of the girl planning on jumping him.

"OH MY GOD-" screamed the purple-haired man. "Y/N!"

"Hey~" Teased Y/N as she finally let Shinsou out of her deadly grasp and ruffled his hair before sitting down opposite to him.

"For fuck's sake, can't you ever greet people like a sane person?"

"But where's the fun in that? Besides, I'd never give up on a chance to sneak up on you."

Playfully pouting, Shinsou stated, "You're 9 minutes and 40 seconds (and counting) late." Sheepishly grinning, Y/N was about to explain her excuse when Shinsou said, "Let me guess, you just thought of a blueprint and got carried away with designing it and forgot about when you were supposed to leave the house?"

Y/N blinked. Curse this man who'd stolen her heart and continued to know her like the back of his hand.

Shinsou chuckled at his best friend's silence, and switched the topic. "So, how's Aeronautical Engineering coming along for our future rocket scientist?" Y/N's face morphed into one of extreme joy and immediately began her ramblings about how her university days were progressing. While the woman rambled, Shinsou couldn't help but think to himself about how pretty she looked, and how she'd barely changed since he'd first met her. Still obsessed with rockets and seemingly never running out of things to say about them. He didn't understand some of the terms she used, but he could care less. His mind was too focused on the ethereal goddess in front of him.

Somewhere along her ramblings (and after ordering a couple drinks), Y/N noticed the blissful face on Shinsou's visage and suddenly felt a little consciously aware of how she'd been talking this entire time and she'd not even once asked him how his degree was coming along. Abruptly quitting her thought process for the moment, she questioned Shinsou about how his Bachelor of Fine Arts was coming along.

A little surprised over the sudden change of topic, Shinsou composed himself quickly so that Y/N wouldn't catch him all day-dreamy over her. He explained that so far, his music composition had been great, and music performance was fairly easy as usual, but music theory did require a little more effort from his side (not that he didn't put his all into his studies, but rather they came fairly easy to him).

He talked about how his best bud Denki Kaminari who studied Sound Technology was getting more popular with his YouTube channel. Y/N was happy to hear about it since she wished the best for Kaminari (though he was closer with Shinsou than her).

The two payed for their bill and walked side by side, with plans to head to the nearby mall, with Y/N still drinking her beverage. They exchanged whatever they wanted to exchange with each other (including shenanigans from their respective friend groups).

As the two neared the main street, they stopped and clicked on the call button and waited for the countdown to indicate that they can walk so that they could cross the road and get to the mall. Once it did, the two looked both ways before starting to cross the street.

And that was when a truck blaring its horn frantically crashed into the two of them.

The whole world was spinning and ringing incessantly, and Y/N couldn't tell what was what. But she remembered Shinsou so clearly and tried to move to see him, but she couldn't. She could hear screams and the frantic voiced of many people around her. What they were saying however, managed to evade her comprehension.

Slowly, her eyes shut and she could feel herself drifting away.

The feeling was nauseatingly intrusive.

Y/N tried to lightly open her eyes, and barely registered a room so unnecessarily bright and people in green (or was it blue) with masks on their faces crowding around her. But as quickly as she opened her eyes, they begged her to shut, and her mind slowly slipped away.

God, she knew what was coming. And she wasn't ready for it at all. She needed to see him one last time. 

︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶

"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

Y/N found herself back on that fateful day, in the same frock she wore, with the same hairband and everything. And with the same purple-haired boy in front of her. And the rockets drawn in the sand. They looked exactly as they did before.

What on Earth was happening? Was she dreaming? But this felt too real. Far too real to be a dream.

She noticed the little boy looking at her oddly, and she noticed that she wasn't saying anything and that her face had been scrunched up into a frown for who knows how long.

Immediately changing her facial expression, she decided to think about it later once she was home. Which she did. And for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what was happening. Her life was repeating. Almost the exact same way it did before (minus her own actions). It was rather horrifying. The last thing she knew, she'd been hit by a vehicle, and now she's a kid all over again.

For the first few weeks, Y/N tried to come to terms with her new situation whilst trying not to seem odd to anyone lest they realize that she isn't the same. Eventually, months later, Y/N had in fact completely come to terms with this reincarnation of hers. She still had no idea how or why this happened, but all she knew is that she had another chance at life, and more importantly, with Shinsou (who was alive and well).

And so the years went by, with Y/N obsessed with isekai manwhas (Shinsou never understanding the obsession, but found it cute and interesting that she was as obsessed with them as she was with her rockets) and her trying to keep Shinsou safe, away from harm.

However, it turned for naught as one day, she received a call from her mother who broke down and told her that Shinsou's mother had called earlier in absolute tears about how Shinsou had been on his way home on his bicycle, and had slipped and fallen into a canal and drowned. Apparently it had rained earlier and his bicycle had needed repairs, but before he could have the chance to have his bicycle fixed, he'd died.

Again.

And the strangest bit was when Y/N lied down on her bed after sobbing into her mother's arms, feeling her eyes begging to close and she could feel herself drifting away.

The feeling nauseatingly familiar. 

︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶

"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

Y/N felt like crying, but sucked it in the best she could and tried to seem as normal as she could to Shinsou.

This was the second time this was happening. The third time she'd live this life. And she'd already failed the first two times. Miserably so.

And just like that, multiple lifetimes went by, with certain revelations occurring, but the feeling of helplessness never going away. Y/N eventually determined after dying multiple times that her lifeline was somehow connected to Shinsou's and she'd die soon after he did. And what's worse, he would always die an early death. Meaning that she followed soon after. And then the cycle would repeat.

Again.

And again.

And again. 

︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶

"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

It was the same every time. The same words. The same little boy. The same little rockets. The same little happiness.

It never ended.

︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶꒷♡꒷︶

[rebeccathenaturalist]

My apologies for the radio silence, folks! The past couple of weekends have been super busy--but with a lot of great stuff!

Weekend before last was Wings Over Willapa, the birding and nature festival that happens on and around Willapa NWR in the very southwest corner of Washington. It's one of my favorite events throughout the year, and I have been involved from the very beginning back in 2018. This year I actually got to be a tourist in addition to a tour guide, getting to explore the old growth cedar forest at Ellsworth Canyon with a Nature Conservancy employee. it was incredible getting extra perspective on this special place. I also got to guide tours through even more old growth cedar at Long Island on Saturday, someplace that I never, ever, ever get tired of. I love how the thousand-plus year old cedars have crowns on the top, since the storm winds often shear off the trees' leaders, so another must then sprout. It gives them more personality.

Right after that I hustled on over to Loomis Lake State Park to lead my beach tour. We explored the dunes, and I showed the participants how to tell the difference between the native Leymus mollis dune grass, and the invasive Ammophila grasses that have taken over that habitat. We found some neat things while beachcombing, like marine snail egg casings, and had some great wildlife sightings, like lines of brown pelicans coasting over the waves, and a lone Hudsonian whimbrel picking its way along the beach in search of food.

That evening we were treated to the keynote speech by author and conservationist Paul Bannick, who spoke on how woodpeckers and owls are very often keystone species in their habitats. I had just enough time that night to get some sleep before peeling myself out of bed for an 8am tour that I led around the Art Trail and Cutthroat Climb at the old Refuge headquarters. I am in love with that place, and I am overjoyed the trails are open to the public after extensive improvements were made earlier this year.

This past weekend was just as much fun! I have been very excited to see the development of Snow Peak's new campfield in Long Beach. For those who aren't aware, Snow Peak is a quality outdoor supply company based in Japan, analogous to REI or Patagonia. Each of their flagship stores has a campfield within a couple of hours which has camping and events. The Long Beach location is associated with the Snow Peak store in Portland, and is just about ready for a soft opening!

I have been hoping to get in touch with folks there since I really, really want to see more ecotourism out in the Long Beach and Willapa Bay area. We're so lucky to have so much beautiful nature out here, and I want to see more people getting to enjoy it. I was thrilled when a representative contacted me some weeks back inviting me to teach a couple of mushroom foraging classes during this year's Snow Peak Way, an annual camping event that draws hundreds of people and which was held this year over on the east side of the Cascades in Tygh Valley.

To say that I had a great time would be an immense understatement. I have been to a lot of festivals, conventions, and other events over the years, and this had all the things that I love about these events, without the things I find obnoxious. I made a lot of friends and connections, was fed VERY good food, and if my experience with borrowed gear is any indication, Snow Peak is well worth the hype. I am very much hoping to get to partner more with these folks once the campfield is open and running.

There's no time for downtime right now, though. I'm back in Portland later this week for several classes, and I have less than three weeks before I'm on the road to Missouri again for my fall visit. In between now and then I have several writing projects due, including the first deliverables for The Everyday Naturalist, plus various other tasks around the home and farm. Things will slow down once we get closer to the holidays, but for now it's all go, all the time!

[whinlatter]

Hello,

(Apologies in advance for my poor English - it's my third language) I want to say how excellent your stories are, particularly Orchards and Beasts. They're both favorites of mine and I reread them often. You're so skilled at writing emotional moments - it's like Ginny's and Harry's (and Hermione's, Ron's, Bea's ect) emotional states come off the page and into life!

<He looks down at his plate and is surprised to see four immaculately crispy roast potatoes, truly world-class crispiness, O, outstanding>

^^ Insane - in a positive way - for you to write that segment.

I also have a question, if you don't mind. I'm not new to writing fanfic, and I've had serious relationships, but I have never been in love (Thank you, Catholic parents and Catholic country, for preventing me from discovering my true sexuality until the age of 26 🙄). Cause of that, I'm struggling to show characters falling in love in my own works. How did you represent the process of Harry falling in love in Orchards so truthfully? I understand this process changes between people, but there must be some things shared? Many thanks!

Really, really treasure this message — thank you so much, anon 💌

Have been mulling over your extremely kind and incredibly interesting question ever since you sent this, and trying to think of a response that is better than ‘I’m extremely honoured you think I managed it but I mostly just winged it and worried about it and hoped other people thought I’d got enough of it right’, which was honestly my first thought (other than yes! for sexuality discovery, especially under adverse and/or hostile circumstances — you’re a boss, and I wish you only good things, including tons of love in the form that you seek it).

The thought I’ve settled on is that I absolutely don’t think you have to have been in love to write about falling in love. Works of art that I love that depict falling in love, or any kind of emotional arc that feels true, feel that way not necessarily because the authors lived them themselves, but because a) the authors saw the characters involved very clearly and deeply and rendered those characters shrewdly, and b) because they didn’t claim to be depicting something universal (‘this is what falling in love looks like’), but instead let the love story or whatever other emotional arc between characters be extremely partial, individual and particular (‘this is what this very particular example of falling in love might look like’). I feel wildly unqualified to be discussing this, but I’ve tried to think through some of these ideas in a little more depth below and hope some part of it is helpful to you for your own writing, (which I know will be good because good writing comes from people who care about trying to get it right). It’s waffle because I don’t know what I’m talking about! But hope there’s something in the waffle that means something to you!

It’s true that there’s a lot of power in people telling stories about or based on their own experiences of living in and moving through the world. Writers writers put themselves into their work, both consciously and subconsciously, every time they write, and the results can be very compelling. It’s also true that people writing about things they have no knowledge or experience of can go horribly wrong (and, in the case of depictions of marginalised and dispossessed groups by people who do not belong to a marginalised or dispossessed group, can be wildly offensive). If the aim of writing is to make things that feel true, drawing on personal experiences can be a powerful way of making art that does just that.

Equally, though, lots of people have been in love and would do (or have done) a horrible job of rendering it in art. People don’t always see themselves that clearly, especially their own experiences of romantic love! And lots of people haven’t been in love (or at least, haven’t felt or received romantic love either by choice or by circumstance), and yet can still write a story of people falling in love that will feel true to readers. I say this because I think sometimes we mistake the liberating potential of sharing our experiences of the world as being the only way to truth, when actually most people writing fiction are writing things that haven’t happened to them all the time — yet there still tends to be all this stuff that feels true and real around that must feel that way for reasons other than personal experience.

I actively draw on some of my life experiences in my writing. How I see the world shapes the work I produce in ways I probably don’t see all that clearly. I also write stories about experiences I haven’t had. I can’t say there aren’t elements of my real-life experience of romantic love folded into Orchards, because there absolutely are. But my experiences of falling in love are partial and particular to me, and I’ve never been a traumatised, griefstricken, obtuse (sorry, Harry) teenage boy falling in love, which is what Orchards is about. Part of the fun of writing Orchards was imagining how a character who is so very different to me could possibly develop the strength of the feelings Harry develops for Ginny in canon and not notice. I found it much less useful to think about my own experiences of falling in love than trying to think specifically about what fifteen-turning-sixteen year old Harry looks for in people he is drawn to (eg. compassion, loyalty, deep mutual understanding, a sense of emotional shelter), what he finds sexually attractive (humour, daring, athleticism, bangin’ hair, frankly) and also what he searches for in life as a character (family, permanence, futures).

Another example is that I also write a lot these days about grief and grieving. I’ve been very lucky in my life (touch wood) that I haven’t yet had much experience of really deep grief for someone very close to me. I worry about rendering that truthfully in my work, and am trying to do the work to approach writing about those topics by reading a lot of other people’s works, fiction or nonfiction, about them, and trying to hear the people around me who have experienced huge grief when they describe what it is to live with it. Would I do a better job of writing what it feels like to grieve someone close to you if I’d experienced that? It’s very likely. But it felt less truthful to the stories I’m trying to tell in the fanfiction I’m writing to avoid that topic because I don’t share the experience of it with the characters, so doing the work it is.

The thing I think it boils down to is it’s more important to try and see people and their stories clearly, and to understand what is individual and specific about them, than it is to have had some dubiously universal experience of falling in love. I think it’s much more important to do other (quieter, harder, more underrated, boring, crucial) things like be empathetic, be interested in trying to understand who people are: their influences, their worldview, their fears, their way of conceptualising and expressing themselves, their hopes and fears and capacity for change. For what it’s worth, if you’ve had any kind of meaningful relationship with another human being, I reckon you can draw on that to write about being in love. Making characters’ emotional arcs feel true as a writer, including but not limited to them falling in love, is about working hard to see people for who you they are, and that’s the basis for having any kind of good relationship with another human being, including platonic and romantic relationships: empathy, selflessness, generosity of interest in all that a person is, seeing a person clearly, not idealising them but admiring some parts of them and accepting the others without judgement. We definitely reify romantic love at the expense of platonic love, even though the latter demands all of these things just as much, if not more, than romantic love, and I think you should trust yourself that you probably have it in you to write and render these stories well if you come from a place of humility, empathy and deep care and investment in the characters whose stories you tell.

[artsy-hobbitses]

Oh boy what kind of horrors have you been through dude?

Do I need a second phone or straight up voice recording device for this???

Bless, the damage on me was more emotional than anything else really!

Anyway since I'm 720% sure she's not on here, at one point I got roped in to be the (seemingly only) friend of this one senior (Four years give or take) after I agreed to help do some voice work for her final project. We hit off OK, she was EXTREMELY socially awkward and really didn't seem to realise it all, but we had (at surface level) similar interests in comics and animation and I was happy to have someone I could yap at about 90s animation (my passion then)

TLDR she got obsessive, got mad/whiny when I'd move on to an interest she couldn't share (she had 1 interest and that was Furry stuff ONLY which should have been a red flag for me, anytime I got anything human involved, she 'didn't get it', pushed me to go back to the old interests and the ONLY way for her to get interested in anything outside of her wolf OCS was to insert them into everything I was exploring---Transformers and Pro Wrestling, being two examples). There was gaslighting (she'd harp on me about being 'flaky'/not finishing sketches and utilised carrot and stick methods to try to get me to do 'X' thing, she'd say I couldn't last doing anything long term and needed her around to push me, she'd get huffy if I shows interest in new internet friends), some pretty skeevy sexual stuff (I don't want to say it was grooming---we were both adults, but I did, at 18, feel pressed into it to keep her happy) because she was THAT kind of furry and often tried to get me to dabble in it art and writing-wise and emotional manipulation (If I did something she didn't like, she gave me the silent treatment for days even if it was just messages from me asking if she was OK, and she'd CONSTANTLY bemoan about how her art was crap and getting no engagement and how she wanted to draw more like me in days-long episodes which I had to talk her out of)

During this time I'd made other friends in my class and one or two were repeating a class from a year before, and they were shocked when they found out I was friends with this girl, because THEY had been this person's room mate a year or two back and moved out when, after an argument, she'd apparently pissed on all their stuff. (I did not ask her to confirm this obvs but given the state of her room---she had a master bedroom of a townhouse to her own as opposed to sharing like I did with two other people because she couldn't get anyone to move in with her---which smelled and was an absolute pigsty, I wasn't discounting it. Would never have stayed there overnight, got itchy/uncomfortable just being there for fifteen minutes)

She was NOT HAPPY when I started pulling further and further away from her to do my own things (The point of contention was a piece of art we worked on together which she uploaded to her gallery but I didn't, because my gallery is reserved for works I 100% did on my own), even got on someone else's Deviantart account to contact me when I blocked/cut off contact with her on the site and stopped chatting with her regularly (She was attempting to emotionally bully me back into doing the things she liked). Long angry paras and tears were shed, but I cut her off completely from then and have never looked back since!

She's the reason I bleurgh at ObiKin (her favorite ship, with her genderbending Anakin to make it straight), anything Shawn Michaels (She was, despite the sexual furry stuff, deeply religious and latched on to him because of this) and have major red alert warnings when someone starts getting too obsessive around me.