#my adhd just makes it hard to keep up w stuff like this and also i just havent been watching the anime lately so i kinda fell out of

[ratskinsuit]

can I request a adhd!reader x any character (pls not Valentino or vox..) any gender

Hazbin Hotel Characters With An ADHD!Reader Headcannons

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A/N: Since I don’t get much info (I’m so sorry) I just decided to do heacanons. Now I don’t do mental disorder specific readers because I don’t wanna mess things up, but I personally have ADHD so I can do this. Although these may be self projecting a bit with my experience so I’m so sorry if it’s not okay.

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Charlie: Also has ADHD (Its just my personal headcanon, it may not be your personal one and that’s okay)

You two honestly can’t be together when you have something to do

Like you won’t get anything down when your together

Because the two of you just feed off each others energy and get distracted the entire time

Vaggie has to physically separate you two so you can focus

Forgetfulness

You could misplace you phone and ask her “Hey Charlie can you call my phone, I dunno where it is.”

And she will just be like “I don’t know where mine is either.” 😭

You two honestly share one single brain cell and switch it every other day (as an ADHD person I can confirm we do this with friends)

Vaggie: Keeps you focused

Okay so If you get distracted a lot she will be there yo try ti get you to focas

Mrs girl has fidgets and things to help you stay on tasks if they gel, if they don’t however,

Well she will try her best

Literally like the mother to you and Charlie so you two don’t do something stupid and he introuble

Melatonin is her best friend

If she can’t calm you down and it’s important, melatonin (unless you take medication)

She makes sure to keep track of all your stuff just incase you forget where you placed it

“Hey Vaggie, do you know where my-“

*Holds out your phone* it was on the kitchen counter

If you take medication (bcs for some people it lowers you appetite) she will remind you to eat.

Alastor: Doesn’t really understand; teases you

When you first tell him you have ADHD his old ass is just like

“Erm, my dear what’s that?”

Thinks you might be crazy till you explain

He honestly finds your energy and do-before-think attitude amusing

Does get pissed when he’s talking to you and you get distracted or forget what he was saying though

Finds it hilarious when Vaggie tries to get you to focus on things

Will finds diff ways to distract you, making it harder for Vaggie

Just enjoys the chaos of your energy

If you take medication for it he may or may not hide occasionally it just to see the chaos unfold (Before you come at me: he . Is . In . Hell . For . A . Reason)

Unless HE needs you to focas

Then you better be focused

Angel Dust: Loves hanging out with you

You two are probubly best friends fr

LOVES your energy because he finds it so fun

You two just go hang out and wander the streets, laughing and giggling together

He’s fine with the distracting and forgetfulness part, he knows it happens

Makes sure you eat. Eat or he will make you.

Honestly he’s just really understanding and knows that it’s hard for you to be able to control it

(Plz send best friend requests for him I did headcanons and I love writing best friend Angel)

While he does understand and love your energetic-ness, he also makes sure that you don’t act ok impulse TOO much

Like, stops you from making rash decisions that could hurt you in the future

Late night sleepovers

You two on the couch packing yourselves full of sugar and watching movies

Husk: Dies on the inside, also designated babysitter (Jkjk. Also I do realize that people with ADHD arnt children or stupid, this is just a reference to the energy)

Giving depressed dad energy

Like he’s just sitting at the bar cleaning up and your just talking at 50 miles per hour

He does however listen to the random things you say, he’s used to listening

Sometimes if you a bit chiller he will be able to follow along better and will input into the convo

Let’s you ramble and doesn’t mind the little quirks you have like interrupting him

He’s delt with worse

He has a alot of different stories, so if you have a lot of energy expect to be dropped off at the bar

His stories are exciting and can surprisingly keep most people’s attention for a while

He knows what it is but not the knowledgeable on it

But understands the basics on what it does and blah blah blah

Generally doesn’t mind the energy or the getting distracted, or the forgetfulness

Once again he’s delt with worse

Velvette: Somewhat gets it, gets pissy sometimes though

So she gets some of the “quirks”, like having a lot of energy, fidgeting, forgetfulness and getting distracted

If your her friend/partner she’s fine with it

She can deal with high energy and talking, she also talks very fast so she can keep up and keep a conversation

Finds different ways to keep you entertained so she can work if she can’t be in the moment

During parties she finds it hilarious

Doesn’t do the best with impulse control, she likes seeing what will happen and where it will go

Doesn’t mind the distractions unless she’s talking to you, then expects you to listen

However if you are one of her models or workers

She takes no excuses

You better pay attention and pay attention well

We all know she’s very demanding of her employees so you better hope she doesn’t notice you

Becwuse if she’s talking to you and get distracted or arnt paying attention…

My guy your fucked

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A/N: So this person asked for anybody but Vox or Valentino. But if anybody wants or if this does well I’ll make a pt 2 with them and more characters.

[krypticcafe]

Hi! I love your writing sm!!! Could I request how the boys + könig would react to a reader with curly hair? (We’re talking tight, kinky coily curls)

COD:MWII Boys w/a curly-haired partner

rating: PG-13

character(s): GN!Reader, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, John "Soap" McTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, König, Hound

warning(s): none

a/n: aw thank you! And I love this request!! I'm not someone with curly, kinky hair, but I hear a lot about how they're super underrepresented. Even I'm tired of the "brushed his hand through your hair" or the "y/n with a messy bun/straight hair" bc PLEASSEE, my hair is a rat's nest, this would not work 💀 Anyways, I hope I did you justice and lmk if I got anything wrong!!

Gaz

Let's be honest, it's nothing new to him. He's experienced with coily, kinky hair, whether it be himself or his family or a friend.

I actually like to think he experimented with longer hairstyles before cutting it for military.

He gets you the most out of all of them, honestly. Knows exactly what you mean when you need a certain product or talk about maintenance, doesn't belittle you when you get upset over your hair, and helps a lot, too.

He doesn't have to do as much maintenance, so he doesn't use too much product, but sometimes he'll eye yours and make a note to try some for himself.

Since you and Gaz can trust each other, you sometimes have nights where you help style each other, just to spend some quality time.

Also yes, you guys have matching bonnets, it was actually his idea. You guys take so many pics together, too.

Gaz will notice if your hair looks healthier or fresher, and while he always thinks your curls are beautiful, he'll make extra compliments so that you know that he pays attention.

Oh, and if you do something special with it? He's all over you, all like, "What's the special occasion? Or am I just lucky today?"

Price

Your hair was one of the many reasons Price had noticed you so much, particularly because the military didn't really allow room for soldiers to do much with their hair and most have to gel it down if necessary.

When you tell him about the amount of care that goes into it, he starts thinking that his facial hair routine isn't so bad after all.

Once you get together, he starts looking into the product you need to get.

Unfortunately, he will have a bit of a hard time, so it's probably best if you show him the ropes for stuff like oils for protective styles, specific tools you use, etc. Otherwise, he'll be wandering around the aisle for a while. Please.

Sometimes, there'll be days where both of you guys take up the bathroom and go through your routines together, it's a pretty good way for him to learn your process and for you to learn his. There's a mutual respect.

Realistically, I don't think you would let either party take over for each other. At least, not for a long time.

If you put on a real nice outfit and let your natural hair out, oh this man will be on his knees, so use that information wisely.

Soap

Ooo, he's obsessed, I'm telling ya!!

Definitely gets stunned at how much it takes for you to take care of those curls, but not surprised that it's so difficult.

He does kinda wonder how you deal with it if you're someone that's on the battlefield.

You definitely had to tell him off for toying with it once, and he has stopped, but it's taking every inch of him to keep his ADHD ass from mindlessly twirling one between his fingers whenever you guys cuddle. But he isn't gonna do it! Unless you let him, then he loves how the texture feels.

You won't admit it, but sometimes you only let him touch it because of how happy it makes him, and you know he's being as respectful as possible.

He'll always be your #1 hype man too! Loves it when you experiment!!

You've definitely caught him wearing your bonnet multiple times, too.

One time, you decided to tease him by guiding him to help you detangle your hair, and frustration was absolutely worth it.

He got so pouty afterward when he had to give up, but you let him know he did a good job trying.

Ghost

He doesn't mean to be rude but he's definitely like "Can't be that bad."

And then you show him your grocery list.

It is that bad.

He gets frustrated and just buys one of everything, walking out of the store with like a dozen bags. He memorizes the ones you pick so there's that at least.

Don't mind him, he's just a bit blunt because he'll then ask, "Why don't you just cut/gel it?". Just explain it, and he'll respect your choice, though it intimidates him a little.

At one point, you're actually the one that lets him feel your hair, so he knows what it's like. He would never touch it unless invited, he's got too much self-control. People also become too intimidated by him to try to touch your hair too, so that's a plus.

It oddly soothes him, he likes how the texture feels on his fingers and especially when it's softer than usual.

One time, you used your own hand to help guide his through your hair, and oh man, was he flustered. Mans was glitching out for a few seconds.

Roach

He thinks your curls are so cute,

Like he literally can't stop watching you because of how they move when you walk.

On occasions where you let him touch it, you'll find that whenever you both are close to each other and really deep in an activity or conversation, he'll absent-mindedly roll a curl between his fingers.

His hands are good for many things, signing, fighting, and other fun stuff. Styling your hair is included!

One of his favorite things to do is help you find and try new styles with your hair. Roach loves looking up and researching about your hair type and what you can do with it, he finds it all super interesting!

Often buys you clips, beads, or whatever he thinks is pretty so you can try it on!

Loves to kiss your head because of how your hair tickles his face a little. He's been tempted to just bury his face in the back of your neck just to plant a bunch of kisses on more than one occasion.

On days where you put extra care into your curls, he's absolutely showing you off to everyone! He wants others to know how hard you worked to look so damn good!! (Gary says it's a full-time job, really)

König

Expect to find him staring all starstruck a lot.

Like a lot.

When you tell him it's your natural hair, he's surprised, he thought you just did a lot of work to make your curls so coily.

He once asked (very) politely if he could touch your hair, and because he was (extremely) nice about it, you let him.

Only for him to panic when the velcro from his glove got caught and he apologized a dozen times over. Afterwards, he treated you like porcelain, keeping his hands straight at his sides around you and acting like a spooked animal.

It got to a point where you had to confront him and tell him it was an honest mistake, and he didn't have to apologize which made him apologize more.

On the other hand, König enjoys watching you do your hair, just sitting there quietly with the occasional question. Sometimes, he helps comb your hair, but that's the most he'll let himself do since he doesn't want to mess things up.

Really loves how your products smell.

While he thinks you look amazing no matter what, he likes it best when you go natural.

Hound

Knows a lot more than you expected. They aren't well-versed, but they know more than the average person when it comes to the deal with kinky hair.

They'll go out with you on shopping trips and often help you pick out scents, one that you like but one that isn't too sensitive for their nose, it's something you didn't expect them to enjoy so much.

You can trust her to always have stuff on hand for you if you live separately or in different quarters. Oils, creams, custards, moisturizers, a hair pick (all from your fave brands, of course), she's got you.

He surprises you again when you come home one day, way too tired to do your routine, so he offers to do it for you.

If this was a test, they passed!! They even knew how to brush your hair the right way not to damage it and had already refilled some of your stock.

After that, you often find him helping on wash days when you're far too exhausted, as his way of pampering you. His favorite thing is doing your edges.

Her scary dog privileges also help ward off weirdos trying to touch your hair, and much like Soap, she hypes you up regardless if it's a frizzy day or a special occasion.

Expect them to be mildly addicted to the way your hair smells, it's literally one of their comforts because of how much it reminds them of you.

[sushisocks]

DO U HAVE ANY ANGSTY SEAN HEADCANONS??? OR ANY AT ALL??

DO I HAVE ANGSTY SEAN HEADCANONS???!? Is my tumblr url sushisocks??? I'm including just a couple non-angsty ones that are v important to me bcz we're here to have fun, after all lolol

Lets start out with a light one; Sean absolutely has ADHD and dyslexia. Everybody knows Sean can't read, but nobody asks WHY Sean can't read despite frequent opportunities to learn. Based on the camp interactions with Lenny, we know he has been willing to attempt to learn, but has given up. This reads a lot more like learning disability to me, than it does laziness!!

In a similar vein; Sean taking frequent naps/falling asleep a lot is because he's a light sleeper - he has had a hard time falling asleep and staying that way ever since his father got murdered in his bed by the law. Left an impression Sean can't really shake even when surrounded by friends and allies - it's easier to nap when it's light out and people are awake in the area. Combine that with the ADHD and suddenly he's sleeping when he's not supposed to - like on guard duty.

Btw Sean has REAL BAD nightmares so that doesn't help at ALL either

Sean's mom probably passed when he was very young - he doesn't have any tangible memories of her in the same way he does his dad. Telling stories about him is how Sean keeps the only real family he had alive.

SIMILARLY I imagine it was just the two of them fleeing to America together; Sean was right there when Darragh got killed in his sleep - I imagine him waking up to a gunshot tbh.

In previous posts I've talked some about Sean's parallels and similarities to Arthur. Consider; Sean having similar self-esteem issues as Arthur, but instead of being quiet and disparaging about it, Sean covers it up by boasting and talking a big game. Nobody tries to talk Sean up because they all think he has a big ego, and it sort of just feeds into the insecurities Sean already has & is trying to avoid thinking about.

Also; Sean is generally an open book about his feelings, but he struggles a LOT with being truly vulnerable or getting at the deeper stuff. He'll also always downplay and make a joke out of truly traumatic and desperate situations he's been in. Though he DOES tell you what happened, he's chuckling and acting like it's nothing. (This isn't even a headcanon, he actually does this very consistently. It's why Karen is so mad at him in that one camp interaction after the party lol)

The only times Sean feels comfortable not being The Camp Clown is when Dutch isn't around, with a limited amount of people to witness. He still feels weird about the fact that he did actually try to kill him, when they first met, like he actually pulled the trigger (I feel like people are prone to forget this abt him), and he's never sure if Dutch might resent or distrust him a little for it. Same goes for Hosea.

A MacSummers one I came up w on discord literally yesterday; Sean has a Claddagh ring heirloom he got from his late mother through his late father. He gifts it to Lenny at some point, who doesn't realize the symbolism, just the sentimental value. Lenny wears it on a chain around his neck.

The previous one could work for MacJones too but tbh I think it hits harder for MacSummers lol (im biased)

Sean blocked out a lot of what he experienced while holed up at Ike Skelding's; the teethpulling and the burned feet were probably some of the lighter things he had to endure.

Sidenote the fact that his feet were fucking burned being as brushed off as it is makes me fucking insane. How bad were they burned Sean? Are you in pain atm? Should you be walking?

[dissociacrip]

this turned into a long adhd rant whoopsie

it really does suck how people seem to downplay autism and adhd now lol. autism has been reduced to people who can mask and have low support needs and adhd hasn't really changed from its status as a joke.

i don't talk about adhd much but it probably gets in the way of me being able to function just as much, if not more than autism does (in my personal situation) when it comes to mental disability. not showering enough. not cooking. not cleaning my living space properly. forgetting to brush my teeth. dishes sitting in the sink for so long they start getting moldy. only being able to maybe do 1-3 tasks a day maximum because my brain can't organize itself enough to do more than that. difficulty committing to things and being consistent in overarching ways. being late to things a lot. highly impaired verbal recall so i forget things people say to me, forget verbal instructions, etc. on top of the other acutely stressful situations that come with memory and regulating my attention span (e.g. locking my keys in my car or locking myself out of my house when i have a very limited support network to remediate those situations.)

my meds barely touch this stuff for me and i'm not especially inclined to increase the dosage after bordering on psychosis when i was taking 40mg of vyvanse. i've just become so accustomed to living the way that i do (because my case is pretty bad afaik) so i can't just will myself to be another way. any efforts i make to change or be more organized and routine and consistent end up getting dashed away because i just cannot do it lol. my shit just doesn't work. adhd is a massive barrier between me and being a functioning person or being able to take care of myself. i'm pretty sure would still be a "gross" and unpalatable disabled person even if my muscles worked and i didn't have POTS/etc. that also get in the way of my hygiene and the cleanliness of my living space.

that doesn't even go into how other people react to it. a good chunk of physical and verbal abuse i faced from my family as a child was related to my adhd symptoms. i was diagnosed at a young age but my parents "forgot" it happened and it was never addressed otherwise. i got constantly called disgusting for my hygiene problems and was threatened with violence over it (on top of the times where i was actually getting assaulted.) people take my impaired verbal recall and lack of impulse control irt accidentally cutting people off or interrupting them personally, accusing me of not caring enough when it's something that is extremely difficult to be aware of or manage when adhd is a condition that distinctly involves impaired awareness of your own behavior.

so when i see shit like "just set alarms" or anything else that amounts to "you're not trying hard enough" or adhd not very much being a disability, especially when it's coming from other people w/ adhd, it kinda makes me wanna stab things with knives.

sure, it's not the worst condition ever, but just like most other disabilities, the way it affects everyone who is it is different and some are gonna be able to manage it better than others. sure, there a lot of really fucking annoying people (usually able-bodied) w/ adhd on social media that have large platforms and who very often profit from or encourage liberal pop psych bullshit when it comes to adhd, but it's still very much a disability. it can affect hygiene. it can affect employment or otherwise means of earning an income. it can affect our social lives and whether we have a support system. it can affect whether someone can keep their house from getting infested with bugs or mold. it is very much something that causes dysfunction in ways that aren't nearly as cutesy as the little comics you might see on instagram are drawn.

just remember that.

[toon-bunny]

Cathal head canons!!! I'm crazy about this guy so please be warned that there is a LOTTTTT under the cut

voice: Andrew VanWyngarden. soft tone, high pitch, speaks kinda slowly, little bit of vocal fry. breathy/hiccup-y laugh. definitely has that muffled synthetic sound like the in-game voice too

speaking sample (please ignore the weird title, this is just a good compilation)

singing sample (I don't imagine them singing, but I do like the voice effect here and the cadence)

personality: extremely perceptive and smart. friendly, light-heartedly sarcastic guy with a metric ton of non-emotive autism. it's kind of deceiving? because when u think of non-emotive autism u think of a guy who never smiles or changes pitch but Cathal is passively very smiley and has a laid back demeanor. very interesting guy to me. he is VERY passionate about his interests, they just aren't indulged/taken seriously by others so it's believed he just doesn't give a fuck about anything. that and they're still not very animated when infodumping

background…

very alienated from living kind of outside of the cogs lifestyle. not that he should be pitied for not having to work, but how do you live and socialize in a culture completely dedicated to work when you don't Do That. but I think he would have odd friendships with other sellbot managers and probably some others

they have a good relationship with dad of course. I like to think that Allan Gets him and doesn't give him a hard time for his perceived lack of passion or anything like that. but giving him a very cushy job and continuing to encourage him w/ said job that doesn't interest him is just how Allan thinks is the best way to support him. I don't remember where I read this but I love the idea that Allan isn't emotionally getting anything out of his job either BUT he's better at masking that and believes he will if he keeps doing his best - it's "supposed" to feel good. sorry wait this is just me thinking about Allan

I do like the idea that, in addition to this job not really aligning with Cathal's interest, they also dgaf because no one would take them seriously in this position anyway even if they DID try. not only do they look silly and non-serious, they'd still be resented for having this position even if they proved they were qualified for it. so it becomes a feedback loop. I'm basically making a ton of reasons as to why he acts the way he does in canon which might seem excessive when ONE trait would explain it alone, but I really like when there are a bunch of experiences/symptoms/etc that foster a particular behavior/outlook and can't be untangled from each other

I think he likes TV shows because they kind of fill the void of connection with others… cartoons kind of endear them to toons but also whenever a character that represents someone like him shows up, they're 1) malicious and greedy, fat as shorthand for capitalist monster or 2) a selfish, stuffy nerd who's meant to be ridiculed by the audience. so no, liking cartoons doesn't necessarily make him more sympathetic to the toons' cause or push him to help, bc he's led to believe he also doesn't have a place in their society

all of the above points also make them a little intimidated by activism and seeking a better life. I think he got cornered into a particular brand of quiet nihilism. I am definitely inspired by this song

in terms of disabilities and conditions…..chronic insomnia from snoozing and lazing about all day, not getting any energy out when it's appropriate. CFS like crazzzzy. autism of course. and also ADHD's brother, cognitive disengagement syndrome

hobbies/interests…

expanding on their canon interest in TV shows, I'm handing my luv of animation to them, but I also think this is the type of guy who could watch scarier stuff and just enjoy the artistry of it. as in "oh wow those practical effects are so well done" (guy who's unfazed by the horrors). (I'm so jealous of this I want to have this ability)

I think they'd like retro games more than I do, he seems like they'd enjoy a good GBA title. maybe roguelikes and metroidvanias, stuff that could be considered tedious and punishing to some but a really fun and rewarding way to waste time to others. he's got a lot of time on his hands to metaphorically bash his head against the wall with more difficult titles ykwim?

this bit's inspired by my friend's AU Toon After Time, I can't undo the association between them and tech knowledge/know-how LOL. I knowwww he collects VHS tapes and other old equipment and can also troubleshoot anything to do with old TVs, VCRs, etc

other details…

I KNOWWWWW it's so cliche to give the cogs tails but I can't help it I LOVE ROBOT TAILS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. plus I love the idea that if cogs have tails, they are prehensile, but Cathal can't even be arsed and just lets it drag everywhere so it's all worn out and torn up from getting stepped on/caught in stuff. I also like the idea of it flopping VERY slowly once or twice if they're happy. like a very old dog wagging its tail

inspired by this post by bunglefication, I love the idea that Gizmo is treated well by Cathal and is more like a service animal to them :D so awesomes

bc my friend suggested "closet femme Cathal" once I am now 100% sold on Cathal dressing at least a little more femme at home 🌈 likes to get cutes with it for funsies. other than that, I like the idea of 90s tech guy/TTRPG guy type clothing for them. like imagine a Best Buy employee or Blockbusters employee in the 90s do you see my vision

[iraprince]

hi ira, you're a big inspo for me! especially as a fellow adhd artist.. i often struggle with "letting go" sketches / leaving them be, i always end up focusing on each as if it has to become a full piece. i personally feel this is bc of my adhd and was wondering if you struggled with something similar, or had any advice on sketching?

thank you so much! and yeah, okay, let's chew on this one and see what we can come up with.

so i actually usually have the opposite problem: I can generate a bunch of loose sketches really quickly, but i have a really hard time buckling down and putting the focus in to take any of them all the way to being full pieces. i think sketching and leaving those sketches as-is comes easily to me because i enjoy it (as in i physically enjoy the feeling of drawing in a loose, gestural style, AND i aesthetically enjoy how unfinished sketches look), and i'm extremely accustomed to it (most workdays i start up by doing ~45-90 mins of sketches, usually a few digital pages worth). these things combine so that the habit of churning out a bunch of little images and then immediately moving on is something that's really natural to me.

HOWEVER i am def not just advising "sit yourself down and sketch for an hour and a half every day" with no other context; i think "draw every day" as ironclad advice is usually pretty clumsy and isn't always applicable to how people work best, or always effective against what actually trips people up with art stuff. i think a lot of this is abt getting mindset right!!! drilling and repetition is good later for building speed and confidence but it's not as useful until u've figured out the underlying struggle imo.

so, some thoughts:

do u keep going on the sketch bc u get distracted by the idea of the final piece, and u just get sucked in to progressing toward that? for me, sometimes i do nail a sketch and im like "ooh, i want to do something more with that!" — but because these sketches happen during my warmup time and i need to keep moving, i don't do it right away. i usually just make a note right on the canvas, or i copy/paste the sketch into a separate file to come back to later. if u get the urge to keep going on a piece bc u want it to have more, but what u Actually want is to do a few more sketches, consider scooting the sketch over into a wip file/folder/etc for later (if ur working digitally; set it aside in a physical wip folder if you're working traditionally).

do u keep going on the sketch bc ur insecure about the fact that it isn't polished, or bc u feel like it "needs" more to look good? u may be affected by The Spectre of Posting. something i have wrestled with constantly and that i think many artists wrestle with is that, even if we aren't having these thoughts consciously, whenever ur drawing there is kind of this little voice in the back of ur head that's like. "is this gonna be good enough to post. if it turns out crappy i won't want to post it and then i will have wasted all this time. will this flop? if i post this will it make me look like i'm bad at drawing? what if this isn't as good as the last thing i posted and then it looks like im getting worse" and on and on and fucking on. this is all fucking nonsense, but also it's really hard to break out of. try, as hard as you possibly can, to start becoming okay w the idea that not everything is for posting, and that if something doesn't turn out great or u don't necessarily want it to like Artistically Represent You then nobody ever has to see it, and i think u might find that a lot of the tense little subconscious urges and hangups and anxieties you have about your work will start to unravel. any statement abt your art that starts with "i feel like i need to...." or "i feel like i should...." is probably somehow tangled up with the idea of other peoples' eyes on your work, and as long as you're letting a vibe like that breathe down your neck, you really can't draw freely.

do you keep going on the sketch bc you just don't like the sketch and you think if you keep picking at it it will eventually get better? well — okay, sometimes you're right! sometimes picking at something endlessly is how u eventually get something really nice and fleshed out and cool looking. but also we are mortal creatures with a limited amount of time on this earth and i am assuming from the fact that u asked for advice that u want to create More drawings. so the only real advice for this category of sketch hangup is: dude, fuck it. make a bunch of bad sketches. do it on purpose, if that helps loosen you up! designate "fucked up stupid sketch day" and make a bunch of the most dogshit drawings you can muster. remember when earlier i said part of why this is easy for me is bc i do so MUCH of it? sometimes it's about volume. if every time u start on a sketch, it ends up being the only thing u pick at for the next few days, of COURSE it's going to start feeling super precious and high stakes to you. you're not being irrational for getting attached to stuff u spend time fussing over. but if u want to be LESS fussy and LESS attached, probably the fastest way is to just start making yourself churn a bunch of shit out, because if you've made TWELVE little sketches today who actually cares if four of them are dogshit. make MORE of them, and it becomes way less serious. u can use time limits to push yourself along, if that helps — an exercise i really like is putting my music on shuffle and then doing a bunch of little drawings where i work on each one for ONLY the duration of one song each. when the song ends, i stop working on the sketch i'm on and move on to a new one. and sometimes they're totally dogshit, because the best songs in the world are all sub 2mins! or draw yourself a bunch of very small rectangles on a sheet of paper and fit a bunch of little drawings into those. anything to help Shove u past the idea that a drawing has to, like, LOOK LIKE anything or be cute or appealing or look good in any capacity will help break up the apprehension u get about wanting sketches to come out a certain way.

i have talked ur ear off as always but i hope that some of this is helpful!! or if i totally missed the mark and none of this connects w u re: why u find this stuff challenging, pls feel free to send me another ask clarifying what u get stuck on and i'll see if i can think of any potential fixes :)

[thedawningofthehour]

6, 14, 17, 18, and 29 for the fic writer asks (or however many of those you want to answer!! I know thats a lot sorry lol)

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

@spectralsleuth's Little Scraps of Wisdom. It's the perfect blend of just fluffy enough to not require tons of mental energy, but also serious and angsty enough to keep my attention. Also the format makes it really easy to pick a section and just dip in-perfect for my ADHD ass.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Doth, at least parts of it. The whole thing wouldn't translate well to visual media-there's tons of introspection, conversations that wouldn't be all that interesting visually. (at least not animated-you don't really get Cersei Lannister-esque performances from animated characters) Stuff like the actions scenes, big scenes with multiple people speaking, those would probably translate the best.

My Dishonored fic, god no. It's video game media and it's very obvious that that's the source material. It would be incredibly boring if you weren't in Daud's head the whole time.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Uhh. Like. So much stuff?

For doth, it's been insanely broad. On any given day, my writing window might be filled with Wikipedia pages on scientific topics, cultural, history, law. Right now I have a bunch of pages open about military tactics and technology, a Google Maps of NYC, and then some articles on nobility and royal titles.

For The Red Queen, I had to learn a lot of architecture terms when writing Daud running around doing backflips off rooftops. I don't even think half of them even made it into the text, but I had to know what he was perched on top of like a daddy seagull. I also did a whole dive into the Black Death for that one. Oh, if you want an interesting fact, did you know the plague was actually carried by fleas and not rats like many assumed? That's partially why it was so bad in cities. Poland actually had a much lower death toll than the rest of Europe in part because of its high Jewish population (mostly refugees because many cities blamed them for the plague-because of fucking course they did) who washed more frequently than the average peasant at the time and their neighbors decided to get in on that too. Milan survived relatively unscathed because whenever someone showed signs of plague, they and their family members were walled up in their homes and set on fire.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I like the entire exchange between Leo and Draxum on the roof. There were a lot of details written into those lines that gave extra information or conveyed something about their mental states.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

I've played around with writing out Cass's consensual kidnapping and walking in on Gale being brainwashed, with some blurbs about her adjusting to life in the Hidden City. They never really got past scraps, but I can post this scrap.

She’s just getting back from school, last week before winter break, her head swarming with final this and final that. Tom says hello to her from where he’s working at the dining room table. Casey says hello back and promptly excuses herself to go work on her final paper for English.

He should be happy about that. She’s actually doing her homework.

Tom’s not bad, she supposes. He’s nice enough and doesn’t try to catch her coming out of the shower. He and Cindy offered to pay the fee if she rejoined the hockey team this year. But he gets on her every last nerve. She’s their first foster and they are absolutely trying too hard. At least Cindy isn’t home enough to annoy her.

She shuts her bedroom door and drops her backpack on the floor. Ugh. She could kill whoever invented academic papers. Well, the Odyssey isn’t going to write about itself.

“I have to say, this wasn’t-”

Casey whirls around, grabbing the first thing she registers-some Hello Kitty knick-knack she keeps on her dresser, in this case-and hurls it at the intruder.

Draxum bats it away, barely raising an eyebrow.

[cheemken]

The E4 friendship with Drayton gives me life fr so I'm coming in hot with Amarys and Drayton friendship!!

I will say that this is heavily influenced by my personal hc that Drayton has ADHD (for being unmotivated in classes, lethargic/sleepy a lot of times, eating something like the Academy Special and snacks for multiple texture, being keenly observant of his friends to name a few) but I like to think that Amarys would help him when he's like having a bad brain day

Amarys just makes me think that she has multiple items on hand that could make good fidget toys! Chains, little metal trinkets, just something that Drayton can fiddle with. Amarys also speaks in a clear, concise way that makes it easy for Drayton to understand / pick up the tone right away so he secretly appreciates that! I can also see her perhaps helping him in ways to make taking notes / organising school work more manageable when he's really not the sort to sit in the classroom

In return I can see Drayton being quick to defend Amarys if someone misunderstood her stoicism for being rude, standoffish, etc. IIRC he was the one in the game to say that despite acting that way, Amarys has a sensitive side. He's observant of his friends and cares for them a lot so he won't tolerate anyone being mean to them. Could also see Drayton showing Amarys his Archaludon and discuss various ways to care for Steel-types like how to polish em so that they don't rust, type of feed to give, etc

AND if we're having each of them giving him a Pokemon, I def love the idea of Amarys giving him a Piplup! Lil fella that plays around with the Cleffa and Torchic till they're tuckered out and now Drayton's trying to pick up three lil babies without waking any of them up

Me reading that

Anon that's so fucking soft😭😭

Oh I love this, this is canon to me, this is canon in my heart

But oughgh I just answered an ask too saying that Amarys would give Drayton an A. Sandshrew bcmdnd but Piplup is still a dope choice tho, imagine if it's like Dawn's Piplup in the anime hahah love that funky lil shit hahaha

Also Amarys having lil items that are like fidget toys is just so special to me, that reminds me of my friend🥹 her letting Drayton borrow them, giving him smth to do. Y'know imagine if Amarys is one of the very few (probs the only one really lmfao) peeps who'd actually lend him her notes. I picture her like,, the one to take notes but never really using them much, she's a good student, and like Crispin she memorizes a lot of things quick (plus small hc from me, that she's the kid of Lenora and Hawes, and ofc those two are really smart ofc their kid would be smart af too hahah), so she usually just gives Drayton her notes, often telling him he could keep it

Carmine wonders why Amarys would just give her notes which she really went above and beyond to be so clear w stuff to Drayton who'd just crumple it while he's studying. If he even studies. But hey, Amarys didn't mind, not like she needed the notes much, plus she knows how Drayton has a hard time w class too, sometimes the notes would be enough to let him pass their tests

Anyways your honour BB E4 friendship real, god now I wanna make more stuff abt them, their dynamics w each other, they're interesting ofc, it'd be dope if we still get more of them if we do get bw3

But yeah anon omf love this hc, it's canon to me, this has a special place in my heart, Drayton w BB E4 friendship is so so real

[n7punk]

We’re stl here! She ra fans are still here!! YOUR fans are still here and not going anywhere! I think a lot of fans are just horny and give more engagement for rated E stuff lol. Also I (personally) try not to bombard my fav writers when I can tell they have shit going on irl- and I know you have dealt with a lot of sickness/pain lately so I dont want to be annoying! Could be the case for others. But we are here :)

aw i do appreciate it <3 ive been having such issues this year it has shaped.... literally everything, from irl stuff to slowing down my writing and also making interacting hard not just with yall but with my friends and family. sometimes messages stress me because i know i cant answer them (especially when i really want to), but i also like talking to you guys a lot its just very difficult at times. ive been having an extended episode for like three weeks now so thats. fun and easy. but! honestly its good to hear that and it is very kind of you <3 rn im on the border where im a little incomprehensible but feeling good enough to kinda ramble.

i feel like i keep mentioning the fandom "shrinking" but honestly i usually bring it up because i know it discourages new people who want to start making art or w/e for catradora and feel like "they missed their chance" but like yeah, youre exactly right, we're still here! if you're interested in catradora, you WILL find other people who still are and we're glad to have you (two cakes, etc).

i don't think the catradora fandom is small by any means, or even shrinking fast, it is just a fact that we used to be very high on the list of top ships, and now we're number 38 - still a big number despite the difference (ive never been in a fandom that ranked before im sure). which is why i brought it up for locked fics now seeing more "engagement" loss than before and part of my motivation to keep working on my stories comes from you guys! because im adhd and struggle with motivation/staying on task lol, so if i cant do something quickly (which hasnt been possible for like a year, you might noticed some of my "long fics" this year are shorter than years previous, though thats also story differences. look at SaD, which i thought would be short, and, well....), hearing other people be invested in it helps to stir up my own investment and keep me going so that was the reason it was a con i had to weigh despite generally focusing on what i like to write/read (side adhd tangent, i love how i started in my fics being like "well i could write adora as adhd or autistic but i worry about my outside perspective" and even worrying about how i do autistic representation to now knowing full well im both and gaining a deeper understanding of my life from it /end). i do think the lock will be very temporary (most likely because the damage is done, but hopefully because of some improvement/we find something new)

i did not mean to harp more on that and i think this will be the last time i mention it im just very rambling right now. anyway this message was sweet and i appreciate you <3

[kurjakani]

Hiii! I was wondering if you’re still into cyberpunk if you could give us (mainly me) some more Dum Dum/ Royce hcs I love the way you interpret them 💛 just go off the rails plz

I am DEEPLY into dummybaby still even tho its been a while since i played cyberpunk 2077.. the tech stuff is cool in a lot of places but the only ppl who rllly wet my appetite for scifi humanity r the maelstrom and the little hints we get about how they function.. Im not like. adept w any technology i can barely keep my comp 2gether so i dont quite understand it, but the part about Maelstrom bodies or brains somehow amplifying music in Totentanz? Made me d r o o l

ANYWAYS im not gonna talk abt te canonical stuff i barely remember it i need 2 refreshen my brain abt it but ill give. u a quick reminder of how i visualize/characterize Dum dum mostly but ill also give some royce stuff and then ill just go ham w some headcanons abt their basic life.

2 me as like, one of the CHillest maelstrom, which, isnt saying a lot, but 2 me (maybe as an adhd person who experiences the same and mayyy be reflecting a bit teehee) hes someone whos experiencing some level of understimulation who gets over it w extremity.

I usually imagine ngl that its caused by being so overstimulated by an extreme enviroment for his whole life (i mean. night city yk?) that he needs constant punching to get through life. this makes for a vERY hollow feeling life for him but 2 me.

Royces chaos kinda enhances it for him 2 some kinda point of like. purpose? Almost? which is why he seems 2 have at least. like some mild genuine respect & dedication to him. yipee yk.

Royce is just batshit and he loves his music and is the exact opposite he seems 2 be full of energy and so on. Royce is hyped Dum dum is exhausted but seeking smth that feels real and alive and exeptional.

2 me. we get so little abt their personalities in game PLEASE leave me alone this is ENTIRELY speculation and reflective.

anyways yeah just some random stuff!!!!

bc of that i kinda like to think that they r both. unwell sleepers if that makes sense? Dont sleep enough. Royce sleeps naturally very little and dum dum keeps up w him. We doo see dum dum usually just hanging about, lounging, I can totally imagine him taking mininaps constantly, eyes flickering from time to time, head nodding. Snapping 2 awakenness suddenly when Royce starts speaking again.

ive looked at some rotations of dum dums model and some of his bodymods are DEFINETLY more just aesthetic than functional.. at LEAST his upper lip rings. Those r trditional piercings. Probably also is chin metal n much of the stuff around his mouth. Again im not technically adept and Idk what the designers were going for, but I'd love to think that also the cored part around his neck, where they've just taken a part around his spine and replaced it w a dent of metal, is fully appearences, just bc its so extreme and interesting. He likes his bodymods he enjoys the process!!!! Perhaps he even enjoys the care that goes into them, bodymods that heavy must require a lot of care.

I dont. think he has tattoos in his final design right? og dumdum had the tats? Though i do love to think that he got tattoos when he was younger but most of them have just gone through being torn apart by his later bodymodifications. Maybe he has some shitty stick & pokes somewhere thatd be cute. bonding w the boys.

he mentions he likes classic rock music- tbh i kinda love 2 imagine that hed also enjoy old movies/shows? classics enjoyer. i knoww they have like those brainfilms n shit but its rly hard for me to imagine film going out of style fully, just like books havent fully gone out of style bc movies exist. i dont remember if movies r much mentioned in the game though. STILL yeah I bet hed like some horror movies... He would 1000% watch texas chainsaw massacre etc, and movies from our day as classics. Midsommar w / dum dum sounds like a nightmare.

Secretly dumdums a lil interested in philosophy. He kinda dismisses stuff like that but he does have a secret admiration for the world and thoughts. This comes out particularly bc Royce has some weird ideas.

I think he must be running warm most of the time.... My friend asked me if i think his metal parts get cold enough for your tongue to get stuck and yeah thatd be funny he prolly hates cold weather and needs 2 wear a balaklava when its wintery outside so his metal parts dont freeze his face.

seeks purpose but u might not realize it bc hes made chaos his purpose

Litcherally never prolly thinks about cyberpsychosis. if e does, maybe he even wishes for it in some way? in a self destructive sense. Royce is more likely to experience it faster, though which i imagine would be a big blow 2 dumdum

Has a lot of CASUAL friends in the maelstrom but it never gets fully to the level of found family/genuine friends. Yes they have a lot in common, yes he spends all his time w them, but it often feels surface level to him, and "unreal". Hes found a more profound connection in Royce, but i feel like his admiration is a little one sided, and that he realizes it? But is like. whatever this is still nice.

dehydrated, forgets to eat and eats like shit when he does eat. Loves carbs and sugars. Possibly caues some of his exhaustion.

He kinda plays up his emotional outbursts!!!! He isnt that angry. He does it to assert dominance in a very outbursty enviroment. If he was in a chiller enviroment you could actually mess w him quite a lot and hed just laugh and mess back w you.

BOTTHH of their eyes can flicker 2 the beat of music like those old computer apps that played music and had some kinda visual indicator of the rythm. fuck w them

Dum dum prolly drives some kinda rly shitty van most of the time, just bc hes usually hanging out w so many people. Big driver in general!!! Not like a car/bike person but enjoys sitting at the wheel and feeling out how the car runs. usually a p good driver but sometimes he gets too focused on getting some adrenaline and becomes a bit of a mess of a driver.

[dracoryss]

Venting so ignore ig

I hate being treated like a hysterical woman no matter what I do. I am totally aware that today morning I did let anxiety win at many moments and got snappy and tearful stupidly fast, and probably yelled and got mean. But even now, several hours later, being totally collected, calm, and just really trying to have my shit together and not let anxiety win until tomorrow, and explaining rationally my concerns, my dad asked if I took my 'night pill ' (migraine med, and yes) because he thinks is an anxiety med??, he followed asking if weed would make me feel less anxious because it's apparent I need to calm down.p

And also I have totally legitimate reasons based on my own past experience to feel this anxious and not some word case scenario I'm making up in my mind; I think Gorda needs to be seen again by the vet because I'm noticing a limp and wanna discard a fracture or any major problems, and my dad thinks I'm exaggerating because she seems fine and moves a bit, and if the vet says she's ok, the vet must know better, etc etc but BRUH when Baby fractured her femur 5 years ago, she was around with a broken femur a couple of days before she got surgery and she did all her normal stuff, including walking and jumping and at the first x ray, some vet (not her usual) told me baby was totally ok w no broken bones and thank got her usual vet followed her instinct and asked for a second xray, so in this experience, I could totally see Gorda having an issue and not being noticeable right away but I'm just a anxious crazy woman what do I know

Also it drives me nuts and makes me feel such a junkie that my dad keeps casually asking for my meds as if I were taking 50 of them as opposed to 1 daily adhd pill and 1 Migraine pill, with prompts like ' don't u take something at night to sleep' 'dont you have something for this *generic pointing any distress*' 'doesnt your pills help you with -totally unrelated issue-' why is it so hard to pay attention )):

[likeasurgeon]

climbs back into your inbox

do u have any tips on making and keeping up aus ?? I made an au a little while ago but just kinda. Ghosted it.

also should I ask this on boralouges or

HELLO and u can ask on here that's all cool :p I'm also more likely to see the ask on here so ya LOL

And as for tips... for making an au specifically based off song(s) I usually look for reacurring themes in the song/music video like for Two Wuv I got the themes of like creepy/obsessiveness/abandoned house/woods and I just took that and turned it into an au if that makes seeense??

I've also done this w Danny songs (autism incoming) I created a few ocs based off of Danny's music just by searching for themes in the songs or the music videos.. I hope this helps

As for keeping an au active it's kinda hard even for me to do that im ngl bc I have adhd and I hyperfixate on different stuff rlly quickly (i had a lot. Of tally hall aus that i just abandoned) , but I kept two wuv alive bc

1. People were interested in it (even in 2018 when there was like 20 people in the Tally hall fandom lol) and

2. I spent like a LOT of time rewatching the internet show episode/the music video and like listening to the demos and then designing the au characters + the setting they're in. So just like I sunk a lot of time into it and I'm rlly proud of it so I like 2 draw it occasionally and I hyperfocus on it a lot :p

I HOPE THIS HELPS MY FRIEND GOOD LUCK W MAKING AUS N STUFF 🤝🤝🤝

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Director's commentary on Taking cues please 👀

Also, I take every bit of information about 179cs, of course 😘

Whahah ok so this is a little long...

I'm laughing just a tiny bit because there is exactly NO commentary available for Taking cues! I watched that video, saw what @captainsy-cookiemonster said about it, opened a doc and just rattled that down in maybe 2 hours tops? There was no thinking involved in making that at all - only the horny.

Now 179CS... God why do I need to think about this so hard because I could talk about that series for hours probably?

I slightly regret tossing EIGHT of the boys in that house, because I can hardly keep up with my own life, now I'm also managing their agendas, and honestly, I feel like I need an assistent!

I made Elena left-handed on a whim, and then I had to look up whether left-handed violins exist. (They do, although 'left-handed violin' would be a misnomer, because you already hold violins in your left hand, that being said there is virtually no good reason to use one, especially when you play in an orchestra or whatever because it turns into a logistical problem to have your bow arm be your left arm! Also, you can't just play a normal violin reversed, because it's not a symmetrical instrument.) (I'm sorry for this very concise infodump on violins.)

I have special things planned for NYE, and I might try to write some (if not all) of it from the perspective of the guys? There's some interesting stuff coming up w/ Marshall, that I can't talk about yet, because I don't want to spoil that particular storyline. I do predict that y'all aren't going to like me for some of the NYE things I have planned....

I have a half-finished essay in my drafts about August and Anjelica's relationship. The first chapter with them started of kind of strong, and because the series is structured (hahahahahaha ok...... I'll never go as far as calling that 'structure' again, sorry) the way it is, there haven't been a lot of details given about that yet. NYE might change that! I know the dynamic is quite heavy, but I just wanna assure everyone that Ange needs whatever happens between them as much as August does.

Some commentary on some of the characters that may or may not be new to people: Mike has ADHD, both Sherlock and Elena are autistic. Elena is bisexual. She's not my only queer character, but I can't talk about that yet... Dani has anxiety issues.

Eh... I mean I'll take any and all questions about this series, tbh, so if you anyone is wondering about anything....

[pjsk-writin]

WHOA YOU SAYING IT'S SUPER NEAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY WAAAA

I wanted to get into writing for some time now but the problem is that well.. I'm not lacking with creativity overall since I'm an artist and I do get ideas but when I try to write theres only like just ONE scene in my head and I just cant figure out how to work around it if you get what I mean 😭

I have a whole lot of problems especially with how to start it's so frustrating sometimes 🧍‍♂️

writing and composition is so hard for me like HUH

also it's not like I'm lacking time at all like nah-ah I have alot of free time but the problem is I cant bring myself to do anything at all and keep procrastinating (ADHD) or just start daydreaming for uh... hours on end yea (malaptive daydreaming WHOOOO *colapse*) not like I'm blaming these disorders but that daydreaming problem is actually getting out of hand like atleast 3h a day I just walk circles in my room and imagine stuff 🧍‍♂️

+ I also wanna draw and practice some other things or like play games with my friends but I could be doing so much more if I could just bring myself to it LMFAO

WEHEH OFC !! and OH YEAAA no I totally get what u mean !! as someone who kinda still struggles w the same things, well idk if what worked for me would work for u but lemme give u some things I've done to help !!

the one scene in mind thing is actually the way I write a lot of my works !! it can definitely get to the point where I only fixate on that scene, but to work myself around it, I try to consider what leads up to the scene/the aftermath ! like for a confession scene, what happened for them to start feeling emotions? even for angst scenes, I try to think abt what led up to the big fight and how they are after !

as for starting, honestly the best thing I've done is just. write absolute nonsense or whatever you have on ur mind. yes it might feel dumb but once you find a bit of nonsense that u can build up on, it gets easier and easier to write ! u can always come back later and make it prettier anyway-

honestly i dont have much for procrastination and daydreaming bc. well I still ride the waves of both dhfjdkjf- w the way my brain works, I usually end up fixating on what I'm writing/need to write anyway- it's usually easier to get to writing tho if u just write whatever ur brain is thinking/daydreaming abt ! again I don't have much advice here but thats what works for me !!

SORRY IF THIS IS UNCALLED FOR BTW I just like sharing stuff in case they can help anyone !!

[ichnoviriformula]

i really should do a bunch more short courses to learn things i spend so much time brooding over not knowing how to do, like basic coding, bass lessons, language like japanese n arabic.. i never end up signing up bc i could spend the money in better ways like donating it but like, then i just stay miserable n upset w myself for wasting so many years

like, i'm 27 n still fucking around basically, maybe finally in jan i'll start this pathology cert to get a job, but i'm still somewhat depressed over not being able to go to uni.. like, i wanna get my microbiology phd yknow.. but also i think i'd hate academia n would rather be doing tangible "useful" stuff like physical work, but instead i've spent the last like 8 yrs dragging out these tafe courses n getting nowhere it feels. so much time's wasted.

i'm somewhat able to accept writing off my teen years bc i was Going Through It but age 20-27 i just feel like a failure. yeah yeah i only JUST got the adhd diagnosis n i've been making slow progress despite just constantly getting hit w bullshit. but man. i wanna feel hopeful for age 30-50 as things coming together n finally feeling like a person, but 1) idk which person i want to be (baker, microbiologist, pathologist, artist..) 2) all my health anxieties make it likely i won't live to 80 lol... i'll be glad of the decades i get n i should aim for them to be Fulfilled. i'm just paralyzed by anxiety basically

anyway back to my orig thought: the pathology cert is like $2k n my dad's helping me pay for it which i already feel bad about but. it'll get me stable work. i shld use my savings on some short courses, i'm medicated now, maybe i won't drop out like i always have before. maybe this time can be different.

money's such a stressor, i feel so guilty for the failed courses my dad paid for. he's always said he's happy 2 pay for me bc it's just money but he's struggling n whole family's always struggling.. free resources aren't really enough for me bc i need feedback, i need people around me to keep me accountable to keep studying. so it'd be worth it.

i've spent so many years being annoyed over how little language practice i've done..i shld just take a damn course.

the alternative is staying mad at myself n probably picking up smoking again or something stronger, n bro hard drugs r too much of a money sink, at least w lessons i could play bass better. or code a game.

[theatricuddles]

[ID: A comic of a person talking about her experiences with ADHD and knitting. The artist is a person with long hair in an undercut pulled into a bun.

The first panel is the artist knitting with the caption “I’ve been knitting on and off for ten years, and I’ve still never made a pair of socks.” The piece of fabric the artist is knitting is so long that it runs out of the panel border and forms a huge pile outside of the panel.

The second panel is the artist wearing a pair of fingerless mittens with one mitten not quite reaching the fingertips. The artist says “The most complicated project I’ve made to date has been a pair of fingerless mitts for my wife. They were meant to be a christmas gift last year, but at the time of writing this they are STILL UNFINISHED”. There is an arrow pointing to the unfinished part of the mitten.

The third panel has a caption reading “Instant replay: how did this happen?” The artist says “Wow, I’m 80% done with the mitts! I’m finally going to finish something! Ah, but in the next part of the pattern, I really have to keep count of my decreases. Even with a row counter, that’s really hard for me, and I’ll have to be focused- I’ll take a break and come back to it when I can do this without distractions”. Text obscures the last sentence, and reads “AND THEN A YEAR PASSED.”

The fourth panel is the artist standing with the long length of knitting weaving decoratively around him. The artist says “But Ira, you say, what the hell does any of that have to do with socks? Or ADHD, for that matter? Well, the point is that I haven’t actually been knitting “for ten years”. For a period of ten years, I have sometimes knitted off and on with long, random abandonments in-between brief periods of frantic excitement. Like this, not only do I feel like I don’t have much to show for all this time, I also feel like I, like, NEVER GOT ANY FUCKING GOOD AT IT! (Not good enough to try most intermediate techniques. Like, y’know, the ones required to make socks.)

The fifth panel is the artist sitting upright in bed, looking at her phone with the caption “It’s like this with every new hobby or interest.” The artist says “I have to learn to make resin jewelry. It’s my calling.” The clock reads 3:00 AM. An arrow is pointing to the artist reading “Watched one too many youtube videos,” and the artist’s wife (still mostly asleep) mumbles, “...huh? Okay, baby, that’ll be really cool.”

Text on the sixth panel reads “What can I say? I get excited. That excitement becomes fixation. I try to nurture my interests and not fall into the same thing a lot of us get from our parents growing up:” This panel is art of the artist as a child, holding out a book to a larger adult figure. The adult says, “You never stick with it, so leave it alone. It’s a waste of money and time. Why don’t you just go back to one of the things you gave up on?”

The seventh panel is the artist crushed under blocks, sweating with a nervous expression. The artist says, “But, as an adult, the thing is... Dude, it does cost money! And time! And I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t have much of either to spare! And as fun as the initial burst of excitement is, I get really down on myself when it fades, and I’m left buried in a pile of unused stuff that used to be a symbol of an exciting new journey, but now just serves as a reminder of my low success rate of sticking with it”. The blocks are labelled “cost of supplies”, “time invested”, “disappointed with lack of results”, “frustration with repeated false starts”, and “abandoned interconnected plans”. The knitting from the first panel is piled in the foreground.

In the eighth panel, the artist says “When I think about it, though, most of this distress comes from perfectionism. Like, look how I’ve been talking about it: “nothing to show for it”, “never getting any good at it”. I always forget to think back on whether I’ve been having fun.”

In the ninth panel, the artist continues by saying “versus, you know what my wife says about it?” The artist’s wife (wearing a hoodie and hoop earrings) is posed excitedly clutching her hands into fists, and says “Babe, you’re so cool! You know how to do so many things!”

In the tenth panel, the knitting from the beginning winds around the background as the captions read “I exaggerate the degree to which things get “abandoned”. In reality, a lot of my hobbies just rotate.  And I do a bunch of cool shit, all because of those bursts of sudden interest!” There are a handful of drawings of the artist saying and doing various things: “I can make a few cocktails!” “I’m a v-tuber!” “I collect vintage erotica!” “I... can’t rollerskate yet but whenever I want to get back to learning, I own a pair of skates!” “I know how to make simple screenprints and linocuts!” “And in the time between drawing the draft for this comic and coming back to ink it I have started to learn HTML and CSS and have become obsessed with making my own early-00s website from scratch.”

The eleventh panel is text running along the length of the knitted fabric, finally coming to an end at a ball of yarn with a pair of knitting needles. The text reads: “My interest in all of this stuff doesn’t have to be justified by, like, grandmaster levels of skill or achievement... and sure, it may be frustrating to stop-and-start all the time, and to know some things might never stick. But none of it is ever really wasted -- it’ll always be here whenever I want to pick it up again -- and if I never do, it still played it’s part in making me the person I am!”]

it's time again for the ✨#ADHDCosmicTakeover!✨ my comic this year is about pinballing helplessly between interests and the frustrating feeling of being a "jack of all trades, master of none" (but who said i have to be a "master" of anything anyway? fuck off!)

thank you so much to dreamadoodles for organizing this year! pls check out the tag to see more comics from other contributors 🌠