#my OTHER best friend toby ziegler who i didn’t even get to see for a final time i just 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

[shortson]

just finished the west wing

[companionjones]

My Job

Pairing: Josh Lyman x (She/her)Reader

Fandom: The West Wing

Summary: After a heroic but tragic act, the Senior Staff waits for you to come out of surgery in a hospital waiting room.

Warnings: Surgeries, some cursing, major angst, about as violent as West Wing can get on its worst days

This story is inspired by @fanficfanatic1997’s story Fresh Bruises. If you’re a West Wing fan, I highly recommend you read this. It’s a multi-part story, and it is very beautifully written.

*******

    The waiting room was quieter than it should’ve been. Of course it was. A member of the United States Senior Staff was currently being operated on. CJ was leaning her head on Toby’s shoulder as the two sat on a couple chairs. Sam and Donna sat, quietly talking. They didn’t know what else to do with themselves. Josh was who sat alone. No one knew what to say to him.

    Leo walked in then, setting everything into motion. “How is she?”

    Even though he wasn’t the President, mostly everyone else in the room stood when Leo entered.

    Sam started filling in the Chief of Staff. “She has one stab wound in her abdomen, the other in her shoulder, pretty close to her neck.”

    Toby kept his voice down, in light of Josh. “It doesn’t look good. She lost a lot of blood.”

    CJ, as always, was the voice of compassion. “She fought him off. I don’t know how she did it. She fought off an assailant of the President and won. The guy went down.”

    Donna asked, “Do we know who he was yet?”

    Normally, Leo couldn’t have told a secretary such secretive information, but it wasn’t sensitive anymore. Really, it wasn’t sensitive as soon as you killed the attacker, but it definitely wasn’t sensitive by then. Most of the news stations were already reporting the whole story. Leo informed, “His name was Carl Henrikson. He was acting alone. The last stimulus apparently wasn’t enough for him to keep his home and job.”

    “Like he deserved them,” Donna remarked as CJ got on the phone.

    The Press Secretary apologized, “I’ve stayed here too long already. Toby, you’ll keep me updated?”

    “Yes,” he confirmed.

    “And not just for--”

    “--Not just for the job, I know. I know you care about her just as much as the rest of us, Claudia.” It was one of the rare moments Toby Ziegler had softness in his eyes.

    CJ nodded in sincere thanks to her friend, then took her leave.

    Leo did the same, except instead of exiting the room, the Chief of Staff went to sit next to his deputy. “She’ll be alright,” he told Josh. “You know Y/n. She’s the best fighter there is. She’ll make it through this.”

    For the first time since you had left his arms, Josh spoke, “I don’t think I can do this without her.”

    “Do what?” Leo wondered.

    “My job.” Josh’s voice cracked when he answered. He looked so empty. “I don’t think I can do anything without her.”

    “Mr. Lyman?” a doctor suddenly interrupted, approaching the Chief and his deputy.

    They stood, and so did everyone else in the room.

    “What’s the news on her?” Leo inquired, knowing Josh was too far away in his head to really pay attention.

    The doctor gave her spiel, but all Josh really got was that you were still unconscious. “Can I see her?”

    He alone was granted visitation. Josh was shaking so much on his way to you. When he finally saw you, Josh thought he died because his whole body froze up. Maybe he was only dreaming. Maybe you weren’t actually laying there, in that be, barely breathing and looking entirely lifeless.

    “You look horrible.” Josh’s tentative jibe barely did anything to break the suffocating silence of the room. Josh thought he was going to throw up when you didn’t reply with a slight in kind. “What were you thinking, taking that guy on? Did you think you were some bulletproof superhero that could kick everyone’s ass? God, you would need to be a real idiot--” He cut himself off then, finally realizing that he was taking his anger out on you. “I-I’m sorry. I know you didn’t deliberately take him on. I know he tried to shove his way past you, and you probably just reacted...” Josh took the steps needed to get to the side of your bed. “...Though, knowing you, it probably wasn’t just a reaction. You were protecting the President. I probably would’ve done the same, but I’d probably be in worse shape than you if I had...If there is a such thing as worse shape...this really isn’t your best day. Maybe it’s your hair?...” Josh shook his head. “You’re killing me with this ‘not answering’ thing...You gotta wake up. You’ve gotta wake up, and then we’ll go home, and then you’ll force me to go to bed even though I’ve got work to do at home like I do every night...Just...wake up...please?...Come on, babe. I need you to wake up for me. God, when I saw you go down, I don’t think I’ve breathed since then. And when I had you in my arms, an-and your blood...” There was that feeling of throwing up again. “God, they couldn’t have brushed your hair or something--?”

    “Would you shut up about how I look already?” sounded your weak, scratchy voice.

    Josh’s heart simultaneously dropped into the pit of his stomach and jumped into his throat. “Y/n? Y/n, oh my god. I’ll ring a nurse.” He pressed the button above your bed. “How are you feeling? Do you need water?”

    “Yeah,” you rasped.

    Josh turned his back to get you some but when he turned back, he barely thought to put the cup on your bedside table before lunging for you. “Y/n! Don’t try to sit up now.”

    You sighed, laying back down. “It was worth a try.” You took the straw Josh offered you in your mouth. As you took a few sips of water, you saw Josh staring at you. “What?”

    “You’re just--so beautiful.”

    That got you to snort. “Nice try at a save, honey.”

    He was smiling with all his teeth. “Doesn’t matter if you believe me or not. It’s true.”

    “Yeah, yeah,” you chuckled.

    A few hours later, your room was buzzing with people. All the Senior Staff were there. Even CJ made it back about an hour after you woke up. There were happy reunions, and everyone refused to leave you and planned to stay by your side until the nurses threw them out. Only Leo had to head back to the White House, and he reluctantly did so after asking you several times if you were okay with it. Of course you were.

    By then, you were all doing your jobs, despite the late hour of the night. There had just been an assassination attempt on the President, after all. You had begged everyone, especially Josh, to give you some work. What else were you supposed to do? Josh was still a little hesitant about putting you under any sort of pressure, but have the reason you wanted to work was to annoy your partner. You chuckled at Josh when you finally got your way.

    “Who the hell gave Y/n a laptop?”

    Everyone in the room sprung to their feet. “Good evening, Mr. President,” was said by everyone almost at the same time.

    “Good evening, Mr. Prez--” Josh took his turn to say, but then he caught sight of you out of the corner of his eye. “What are you--?”

    CJ saw you almost simultaneously, and she worriedly sprung toward you. “Y/n!”

    Nearly everyone else voiced their alarm as well, and several others tried to stop you from standing up in the President’s presence.

    “Y/n, are you crazy? You’ve just been stabbed! You don’t need to stand up for the President.” Josh reprimanded you, only fighting a small smile.

    President Bartlet backed up his Deputy Chief of Staff, “Y/n, I promise I won’t be disrespected if you don’t stand. Hell, after what you’ve done for me tonight, I wouldn’t feel disrespected if you threw a tomato at me every time I entered a room.”

    “Yeah, but I would,” notified Dr. Bartlet as she entered the room with Zoey and Charlie behind her. “The stains would be hell to get out.”

    The President jokingly rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you had to do my laundry?”

    She raised an eyebrow. “I’m still surprised I had to do it at all seeing I met you when you were already old enough to vote.”

    Ignoring her parents, Zoey walked up to you and kissed your cheek. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much for what you did for my father.”

    You didn’t know what to respond with either, so after an affectionate smile to Zoey, you referred back to the 'trying to stand up when you were seriously injured’ thing. “Sorry about that, Mr. President. It’s a force of habit.”

    President Bartlet’s brow raised. “Oh boy, I hope you’re not apologizing for saving my life earlier.”

    “Of course not, sir. I just--”

    Dr. Bartlet stepped in to save you. “You don’t need to clarify, Y/n. My husband was just trying to be funny. Which he really has no room to do because he likely wouldn’t be standing here without you.”

    “Oh, I doubt that, ma’am. There were tons of secret service--”

    “But you were the one to take him down, Y/n,” Abbey cut you off to say. “Thank you. Thank you so much for what you have done for us. We are truly in debt to you for this.”

    The President nodded, “That is true, Y/n. There is nothing I could possibly do to get you back for this.”

    “With all due respect, that’s not on the table, sir, ma’am.” You clarified, turning back to Jed, “You are the President of the United States. It’s my job to protect you. Although, I never thought I’d be doing it in such a direct way.” You tried at a joke, then quickly grew serious again. “And...you being the President really had nothing to do with this, sir. I look up to you. Just like everyone else in this room. I did what I felt was right in the moment, and I got lucky.”

    “And thank God you did,” Jed thanked you sincerely. He took your hand, kissed the back of it, then clasped it in both his hands. You shared a moment with the President, then he placed your hand back at your side.

    President Bartlet then noticed Josh, whom Jed realized had been staring a hole into your forehead pretty much since the President and his family had entered the room. Bartlet rescued the Deputy Chief of Staff. “Alright, everybody out. It’s well past midnight and all of you need some help.”

    Although a couple of them looked disappointed to leave, they all, of course, followed the President’s casual order. Everyone had a quick personal goodbye to you, save for Toby, who only gave you a quick nod on his way out. You knew he wasn’t really one for sentimental words.

    Josh was the only one who didn’t move from his spot, and he gave a look to President Bartlet that said he was sorry for disobeying his sort-of-order, but there was no way Josh was leaving your side for a long time.

    Jed nodded, “I understand, Josh. I got everyone else out so the two of you could be alone for a little while.” He said the last part much lower, “And I am truly sorry for all of this. What this must have triggered for you, and nearly losing--”

    Josh couldn’t heart that said out loud. “I’m just happy she’s okay, Mr. President.”

    Bartlet understood. “That’s right. You two have a nice night.”

    “I should be back at work in about a week or so, sir. If you don’t need me,” Josh notified.

    Bartlet smiled at that. Leo must have told the President what Josh was thinking about doing. “Take all the time you need, the both of you,” were his last words before taking his leave.

    Josh turned his attention back to you. “Yeah, I’m not letting you back in the White House until a month after the doctors give the okay.”

    “You’re not gonna let me,” you laughed, “Yeah, okay. We’ll see how that goes...You’re staring again.”

    Josh grinned, “If I tell you why, you’re gonna yell at me again.”

    “Maybe I won’t this time. Try it,” you encouraged.

    His smile grew. “You’re beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and you only get more beautiful every day.”

    You snorted, “Yeah, right.”

    He raised his eyebrows. “It’s true. I’ve never said anything more true in my entire life.”

    You chuckled, “Get over here and gold me so I can fall asleep.”

    “Yes, ma’am.” That dopey grin was back. Josh climbed into your hospital bed with you and you settled into his arms. The two of you rested in the silence for a moment before Josh said in a more serious tone, “I really did miss you.”

    “I know.”

    “I was terrified that you were--”

    “I know, but I’m still here.”

    “I know,” Josh swallowed, and pulled you closer to him. “I know.”

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, I have more West Wing stories over on my page. You should check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[psychiatristreturning]

forty minutes late (toby ziegler x reader)

a/n: me adoring toby ziegler? yes. me ignoring season seven? yes. for anon who asked for a lil toby angst, which i didn’t really succeed at but.... take it. set in season 3. (i mean they brought r*b l*we to be the eye candy and everyone fell in love with toby and josh) word count: 1.1k all credits to gif over warnings: some angst???????  masterlist

No matter how many times Toby looked at the clock time wouldn’t speed up, if anything, it had slowed down. He was supposed to be in your office talking about the effect entering a trade deal with Jamaica would have on how other countries perceive the US. But instead he sat in a meeting in the Roosevelt Room arguing with a republican congressman from Alabama complaining about how abortion is legal in all 50 states. 

“Congressman, I don’t know why you are complaining to me about this. I am in charge of communications, not your personal issues with laws.” Toby leaned back in his chair tapping his foot impatiently. 

The congressman answered, “Well, Sam Seaborn told me to talk to you.”  

Toby rolled his eyes and sighed, “Of course he did. Well, this is technically Josh Lyman’s area-” 

“I have been waiting to see you for two months!”

“Well that’s your issue, congressman.” Toby couldn’t believe that Sam had passed this meeting to him. Thankfully, an out-of-breath Bonnie ran through the door, “I’m so sorry, Toby! I was at lunch and-” 

Toby ran a hand over his tired eyes, “What do you need Bonnie?” he questioned, hoping she could get him out of this.

“Y/N is waiting in her office.”

A small smile floated across his features, “Okay. I’ll go down now,” and as he walked out the door he looked at Bonnie, “And get Sam to finish this meeting with the congressman.” 

While Toby was excited to get away from that god awful meeting, he wasn’t happy to show up a half an hour later than expected in your office. Recently you had been in a sour mood and no one in the west wing really wanted to annoy you. Still, this didn’t deter Toby, he was just glad to leave the congressman. 

Rounding the corner Toby was stopped by Josh, “Hey, just so you know, the president has a press conference tomorrow at 1:00- Where are you off to so quickly?” 

“Y/N’s, I was supposed to be in her office,” he looked down at his watch, “now forty minutes ago!”

Josh’s eyes widened, “Well she’s going to be pissed at you,”

“I know, but we really need to have this meeting,” Toby anxiously tapped his foot looking hurriedly around the busy hallway which was bustling with interns and staffers. 

The deputy chief of staff started laughing and hitting Toby with his elbow, “You, ya know, also, kind of, sort of, have a crush on her.” 

He rolled his eyes, trying to hide the fact that Josh may or may not be right, “No, I don’t. But anyway I have to go.” 

Toby rushed away from Josh and practically ran down the hallway and stood in front of the door to your office wondering if he should even bother at this point. If he goes in he’ll be yelled at, if he leaves he’ll have to avoid you for a week so you don’t kill him in the White House. Toby decided the former would be the best option, and he slowly swung open the door to reveal you sitting at your desk, jaw tense, and face expressionless. 

He timidly stepped in muttering a small ‘hello’. 

“Nice of you to come by,” 

Toby rushed to defend himself, “I’m sorry! I was in a meeting that Sam should’ve been in charge of and-” 

“Toby it’s fine.” you locked eyes with him, you could tell he was sorry just from the sad look in his brown eyes. And he could tell that the smile you gave him was tired and not sincere. But, just as quickly as you recognized the feeling in eyes it was replaced with worry. 

“Y/N are you alright?” 

You stared at your desk and nodded, seemingly convincing yourself that you’re okay. “Yeah, I’m good.” 

“Okay well, let’s get on about Jamaica.”

~~~~

By the time the two of you had finished talking it was about 4’o clock. And both of you were ready to go home despite knowing that you still had about eight hours at the White House. You sat back in your chair staring at the ceiling practically falling asleep, you peacefully sat with Toby in a comfortable silence, until he softly whispered, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure,” you tilted your head over to him. 

“Tell me, truthfully, are you alright?” you quickly looked away from Toby and spun around in your chair. 

“Why do you keep asking me that?” You were simply confused, you weren’t and you knew that, but why did he care so much? 

“Because I- we’re worried about you.” 

“Who is we? The senior staff ‘cause I hardly think-” 

You were cut off by Toby who scoffed before answering, “I mean, do you really think that, as the person who first brought up the fact that Josh changed after being shot, that we didn’t notice that something was up with you?” 

“Okay! Fine! Maybe I’m not entirely okay, but, it is my personal business and not the White Houses!”

Toby had lost his calm composure as usual and exclaimed, “Your personal is business is the White Houses business! If you go to dinner I know where, what time, with who, when you left, god- what you ordered! When you were hired you practically surrendered the right to a personal life! Do you think that Sam wanted all of us to know he was friends with a prostitute, let alone have it on the front page of newspapers globally? No I don’t think so! So I’m sorry that I’m concerned about you, I’m only asking because I love you okay! And I’m afraid that something will happen to you and I won’t be there to make sure you’re okay!”

You were taken aback. Toby Ziegler, a man that you had bonded with while trying to do the impossible, elect a good man as president, which you had succeeded at, and had cared for since the day you met him. But, you were always sure that he was still in love with Andy, not you, most definitely not you. Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined this. “What?”

Toby slunk back into his chair and looked down, “I’m sorry, that was unprofessional.” 

“So, since you always know what I order because of the press, how about you actually come with me?”

He breathed a sigh of relief, “That sounds wonderful.” You both entered a comfortable silence, “Was it Roslyn?” 

“Yeah,”

“I’ll call Dr. Keyworth.”

[smallblueandloud]

HEY HI WHAT'S UP so i'm almost at the point where i can FINALLY read the tww sense8 au, i'm so excited, you have no idea. so anyway- whenever you're in the mood to write for this verse- how did early cj/andy/toby work? how did they meet, and figure out they were in the same cluster (yes including will i'm so in love with him as a part of this)? what were/are the individual relationships like within it? literally talk about anything- any relationship- within this au, i love the concept so much. ❤

(the sense8 au in question)

hmm, okay, so as i mentioned to you i actually had written a bit about their relationship in some snippets that will probably never be posted. but i don’t LIKE what i wrote, so i’m gonna change it, and we’re all just gonna pretend it was like this the whole time lmao.

andy and toby met first, as always, in boston because i am predictable. in this au you don’t know you’re in the same cluster until you make eye contact without being on blockers (which are telepathy-supressing pills, essentially), so they had no idea it was coming, but toby is running a campaign that one of andy’s college friends is working on and andy’s there because her friend was supposed to go to lunch with her an HOUR ago and toby glances up from the papers he’s holding, and-

well. that’s that. toby isn’t so militant about refusing to get close to andy, although he does still feel a bit odd about their age gap and still doesn’t agree to date her for a while. richard schiff is 6 years older than kathleen york, so i’m gonna say that andy was 24 and toby was 29. but, as andy points out: she’s just as smart as he is, and besides, something in their souls said they were equals, and there’s nothing he can do to avoid it. so they date.

they come up with some ground rules for their relationship. no blockers while they’re together in person. no blockers without a good reason, because they both like being connected. if one of them finds one of the other members of their cluster - because the cluster isn’t complete, they know, they don’t know how big it’s going to be but they know it’s not JUST the two of them - they have to call the other IMMEDIATELY. both of them are idealists like that. they know they’re going to share their lives with their other cluster mates, even if it’s not quite romantic.

and then about a year later, when toby is 30 and andy is 25, toby gets introduced to the new press representative of his latest campaign, a 26-year-old cj. and i think they actually even manage to get into an argument before they make eye contact - but it happens, and toby takes a step to the right into the office where andy has a meeting today.

“i found her,” he says. “the third one.”

andy, forgoing any other kind of conversation - that would only waste time - turns to the politician she’s meeting with. “i’m so sorry, something’s just come up,” she says. “we found another member of our cluster.”

“oh, of course,” says the politician. he smiles at her. “we’ll reschedule, naturally. and- good luck.”

andy thanks him and hightails it out of there. back at the campaign, cj and toby are still staring at each other. toby says, “you’re-” and cj says, “come here,” and grabs his arm to pull him into a broom closet, because you KNOW that was cj’s first reaction.

toby’s still kind of staring at her, because let’s be honest, young allison janney. cj says, “are there any more?”

toby says, “what?”

“in the cluster. have you found any others?”

toby blinks. “yeah, i’ve- yeah. she’s on her way. my girlf- my partner, andy. wait, wait, does that- have YOU found any others?”

cj shakes her head. “not yet. i’m cj, by the way.”

“toby ziegler.”

andy breaks SEVERAL traffic laws but gets to the campaign in a record ten minutes, which by the way are possibly the most awkward ten minutes of both cj and toby’s lives. she makes a beeline for the broom closet and makes instant eye contact with cj, because she is NOT going to lose this connection.

later, cj will think that that’s about when she fell in love.

it’s 1985, and bartlet is elected in 1998, so they still have a ways to go. they eventually fall into a collective relationship, as andy and toby realize that their relationship is never going to be able to return to a pre-cj dynamic. they met her a year after each other, but she’s just as important to the relationship as the two of them are.

cj moves to california eventually, fed up and cynical about the public sector. she takes a job with a media consultation firm, as she does in every world, they’re better at communication in this au. hard to be bad at it when you share a soul, bodies, talents. andy and toby move back to andy’s home state of maryland and andy starts to get closer to her goal of running for congress, while toby just keeps losing campaigns for honest politicians. i’ll say that cj moves to california in 1992, and toby and andy get married in 1993.

it’s a lot easier for you to stay in contact when you’re in a cluster. cj watches tv with toby and andy every night. it’s less of a breakup, in this au, and more of cj saying “i want to go work in california, and we have to be more careful”. she’ll only do romantic things in the psycellium, which is where, say, andy would perceive her if cj was visiting telepathically. no one else can see her, is the point. but she sits on their couch and watches tv with them and heckles toby when he makes dinner and goes to lunches with andy, where she sits on one side of the table and eats while andy makes herself at home in the other chair.

and it’s not great but it WORKS, and it works until jed bartlet calls them all in and cj closes herself off even MORE for the sake of andy’s career and andy and toby’s marriage falls apart. and then we get to their approximate relationships in canon.

toby and andy are divorced and spend a couple of years not speaking, but they’re still CLUSTERMATES and that MEANS something. they still hold to their rule of no blockers when in the same room and, once they start talking again (i think around mid s1), they start talking to each other for comfort and catharsis. oftentimes they’ll argue to get out their frustration with everyone else in their lives. it works.

toby and cj are as non-flirty as cj can manage, which is to say that they’re at canon levels of flirting. i would say it’s PRETTY FLIRTY. they’re keeping their cluster under wraps, and they’re even pretty good at it. senior staff knows because one time they got REALLY drunk during the campaign and had a conversation at normal volume about the boston globe. from opposite ends of a bar. but most of the press doesn’t know, except MAYBE danny, and they do their best to keep it that way. exceptions are at rosslyn and other situations like that.

neither of them generally take blockers, so toby’s attempts at briefing are SLIGHTLY less catastrophic than in canon, since cj can stand next to him and quietly advise. she doesn’t take over his body to do it, though, and they try to limit her advice, since it can get really obvious really quickly. toby takes blockers whenever they hide something from cj.

and cj and andy... are the most romantic of the three, just because cj and toby can get away with flirting and cj KNOWS that toby knows she loves him, but andy has always been better about physical affection - and they generally see each other in the psycellium, anyway. (look, i just want them to KISS.) if marriage equality existed at the time, they’d have probably gotten married and toby would’ve had a Crisis about it, but it didn’t and they don’t. they only very rarely see each other in public, generally at balls and the like, during which they both have to pretend they’re not about to burst out laughing. someone ALWAYS tries to introduce them, assuming they’ve never met before, and it’s worth it for the simultaneous “oh, no, we’ve met.” it’s explained by “cj was toby’s best friend while he was dating andy”, but you and i know the Truth.

okay, and then sam goes to california and meets a spirited young speechwriter and sends him back to the west wing, and he walks into toby’s office first.

toby looks up, meets will’s eyes, and something clicks into place. the last piece of the puzzle. the last member of their cluster. and toby goes, “oh no.”

will says, “uh- can we just. uh.”

“come in,” says toby, sighing and waving a hand. “we’ll handle that later. you have an appointment, right?”

they have their canon conversation, in which toby critiques will’s writing and refuses his help on the inauguration speech, and blah blah blah we get to the end of the episode where they’ve both revealed that they respect each other.

it’s the middle of the night, two days after they met, they’re sitting in the mess hall writing, when will goes, “and the cluster thing?”

“what?” says toby, glancing up. “oh, yeah. there’s two more of us. i’ve gotta introduce you.”

“i went home and looked it up,” says will. “there’s nothing on your cluster anywhere.”

“yeah, well, that’s on purpose,” says toby. “and it’s yours too, now. do you know cj cregg?”

he introduces will to cj the next morning, then gets andy to come into the west wing so she can pass will in the hallway and meet eyes with him. they’re very serious about keeping their cluster under wraps, and it would look REALLY suspicious if toby ziegler’s ex-wife came to the white house to meet the california speechwriter that sam seaborn recommended after two months of casual acquaintance. donna is the only one who notices it, but that’s another story.

the dynamics: toby and will are basically the same as in canon, complete with the s6-7 Rift™. toby isn’t as comfortable with will, hasn’t known him for as long, but they understand each other. they’re both writers. it’s something that andy and cj don’t know, even if they love toby more than will ever will.

as for cj and andy, they basically adopt will as their brother and move on. will and cj can’t be seen getting too cozy, but they talk through problems with each other a lot. andy and will can’t be seen in public together at ALL, but they make it a point to sit with each other in the evenings while they’re doing paperwork or reading or writing. it goes more easily with company, and they want to get to know each other.

and everything’s well and good and happy until toby commits treason. but that’s another story altogether.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Tagged by @comepraisetheinfanta exactly when I would have wished for the tag!! <3

List the first lines of your last 10 published stories (or whatever number you like). Look to see if there are any patterns that you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any!

“Maybe we should get married.” That was Schneider’s idea of a romantic proposal, on a random Tuesday night while Penelope was studying math at his place. She was so lost in equations and word problems–god, she hated math even more now than she did the first time around��that she didn’t process his words right away. When she looked up and over at his side of the couch, he was watching her. Waiting. “What did you say?” (A Truth Universally Acknowledged)

Donna Moss was a U.S. History teacher at an underfunded public school in DC. Her second year there had just begun, and she was grateful to have made a few friends among the other teachers–leaving behind everyone she knew in Wisconsin wasn’t easy, but she wanted to go where they needed teachers, and she felt like her determination and empathy were more valuable in the District. (Continuing Education)

“Rise and shine!” Syd’s voice broke through Elena’s dreams, eliciting an indecipherable “Urrgnnh” before she pulled the blankets over her face and tried to fall back asleep. “Nope nope,” her girlfriend declared, tugging the covers back down. “Wake up, Elena. Or I’ll have to eat your breakfast myself.” (Long As You’re Here With Me)

It was the summer of 1968 and Toby Ziegler was about to marry his fiancee, in between marches and work on radical campaigns that he knew probably wouldn’t win but that he loved fighting for. Claudia Jean Cregg had been his closest friend since they were still in college, and she agreed to be best man in his wedding–right before getting arrested at a protest for punching a cop whose hands roamed south of anywhere legal. The ceremony was rapidly approaching, 13 hours and counting, as Toby went to bail her out of jail at 1am. (Silent All These Years)

They each find the other super frustrating. Because my god does Leslie ever stop being cheerful?? it’s way too early and dear lord why won’t Ben do things the right way? aka her way!! Months of confined space and forced collaboration lead to grudging respect and heavy sexual tension but neither of them is going to be the one to make the first move because that would require admitting to having feelings. (Breathless)

Frank doesn’t have much of a life once he’s on his own. His day-to-day rhythm is erratic, just like his moods. But he does have one routine that he stick to as reliably as the seasons change: every year since they died, he buys flowers five times and leaves them for his wife and kids. Three birthdays, one anniversary, and once to mark the day they were taken from him, as time continues to pass and the years turn him more to stone. On each of those days, despite the risk, he allows himself the memorial…and every time, he buys the flowers from the same florist, pretty Karen Page with her kind, watchful eyes. (Dangerously Tangled)

It's Penelope’s 40th birthday. Schneider is a joyful presence at the family party, of course, where he brought extra cupcakes even though he knew her Mami would be baking. Penelope’s been quietly freaking out all week about getting older and what this year means, so it doesn’t strike her as unusual that Schneider wanted to do something more. And she knows the kids will be happy to eat the extras. After the singing and the presents, when the others are sitting around the living room fed and happy, he finds her in the kitchen and hands her a cupcake. (Make A Wish)

Josh tried to argue with Colin ‘impossibly handsome and well-traveled photographer’ Ayres about his feelings for Donna, but he knew he wasn’t very convincing. He had dropped everything to be there, after all. He arrived sleepless and disheveled and panicked, because he hadn’t been able to relax or take a deep breath since the news hit the White House. (When It All Falls Down)

Schneider was the 40-year-old son of old manufacturing money in Canada. He spent his life making the news for excessive partying and affairs with actresses and models, until he suddenly dropped out of the public eye. Rumors speculated that he was in witness protection, evading law enforcement, or had been disowned by his father and left destitute. Penelope Alvarez turned her ex-military background into a career as a bodyguard who was highly selective about which clients she took on. She was solicited by Schneider’s father, the well-regarded Canadian billionaire, and met with him knowing only what the world did: he had a son with a reputation…and enough money to pay whatever it took for her protection. (I Will Keep You Safe And Sound)

Alex didn't show much interest in the idea when she explained it to him the first time. Since he was five years old, she couldn’t blame him. A girl at school had introduced herself to him--to every kid in his class, it turned out--by saying, “My name is Gabriella and maybe you’re my soulmate.” Penelope had to laugh at the mental image of a first-grader proclaiming her destiny, the solemn words coming out in a rush each time she met someone new. But she hadn’t expected to have to give Alex the talk so young. She hadn’t even given him his first sex talk yet! (Some Truths Are Stubborn As Gravity)

I tag... @actuallylukedanes, @mossdonnatella, @when-did-this-become-difficult, @fandammit, @finehs, @aerosmiley219 and any other writer friends who want to do this! just say i tagged you <3

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

A - Z (Fandom ‘Come At Me, Friend’ Meme)

WELL THEN *cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO 

(all 26 letters behind a cut bc this is very long)

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

As of this hour, my top OTPs are Penelope/Schneider from ODAAT and Joyce/Hopper from Stranger Things. But I have endless numbers of them, even within each fandom.

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Jean/Alice from TDBM. 

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Um…hmm. I’m such a multishipper, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my NOTPs. I’ve never been onboard the Keens from The Blacklist, though. Not even a little. I only enjoyed Tom in his original villainous state.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

A couple of my spouse’s faves, I really wish I liked too, especially Sam/Josh and Mal/Simon. I don’t like one of the characters in each very much, so I’ve never been able to get into them–even though I understand them, and have had fun writing them…I just don’t love them too.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

Yeah, mostly graphics, though. I don’t think I’ve ever written crackfic. I did New York Times Minus Content edits for TDBM, a ton of those. Also Sext Message Error sets for Lizzington and for Josh/Donna. And Welcome To Nightvale sets for iZombie and Lizzington. And OTP Bot sets for Lizzington.

And this isn’t EXACTLY crack, but my original tumblr claim to fame was this Hamilton/TWW crossover that got reblogged by Lin himself.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Mm, the first time I actively joined a fandom was Buffy, and I was about 14 when that started for me…so as of this year I’ll have been in that fandom for 20 years! But I’ve been a fangirl literally my whole life, I just didn’t really join fandoms before the internet, and I started using the internet more in junior high and HS.

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Lou/Joey from Brotherly Love, or Claire/Trevor from Cupid (original run), or Dharma and Greg, or Allison/Wade from CryBaby, or Idgie/Ruth from Fried Green Tomatoes. I was a shipping prodigy, and the couples I was obsessed with as a literal child blur together a bit in the timeline, so I’m not completely sure which came first.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.) 

TV shows.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

The Aaron Tveit fandom made me uncomfortable watching BrainDead before I even had the chance to decide if I liked it or not. Most fandoms I love, though. I prefer to ignore the drama and focus on the people I actually like. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

SO MANY. Parks and Rec, TDBM, Stranger Things…a significant portion of my watchlist comes from this hellsite by now–I have friends with good taste.

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

@mossdonnatella is in a lot of my fandoms. She is a much better fic writer than she thinks she is!!

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

I really ended up disliking Jacob a lot, on Grace and Frankie. But I will say that in the beginning he is very respectful of Frankie’s boundaries and tries to be patient with her, and I did like that.

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

I don’t actively ship Jancy on Stranger Things after seeing S1 (I don’t really ship Steve/Nancy either, though…I think I mostly just ship Nancy x happiness) but the moment when her mom knocks on her bedroom door and they reach for each others’ hands instinctively? That is a damn fine understated sweet connection moment and I really enjoyed and believed it.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Okay since a lot of my top fandoms are for shows that ended a long time ago, I’m going with One Day At A Time. In fic or in canon, I want to see a lot more of Schneider being Penelope’s BFF and her confidant. I want more serious!Schneider moments bc it turns out the actor rocks at them, and I want to see Pen really get to move on from Victor as her kids get older, I want real confirmation that she’s finally past any possibility of reconciliation with him bc she deserves SO MUCH BETTER.

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Randomizing my music gave me “Quiet” by MiLCK feat. GW Sirens and Capital Blend. 

Sample lyrics:

Cuz no one knows me, no one ever willIf I don’t say something, take that dry blue pillThey may see a monster, they may run awayBut I have to do thisI can’t keep quiet, no A one woman riot

Despite the mature meaning behind the lyrics, and probably because I’m watching Stranger Things right now, it reminds me of Eleven, the tiny badass fighting her way to freedom.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Alright, I’m gonna invent one right off the top of my head right here and now since you asked. Um… a One Day At A Time AU in which Penelope meets Schneider not as her landlord but as a patient, once she becomes an NP. Doctor/patient “okay if you won’t stop asking me out then get a new doctor so I can say yes” fluff ensues.

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

Lizzington. I’m technically still writing fic for it bc I have a chapter fic to finish, but I haven’t watched the show in years, I avoid content for it, and have no interest in it anymore besides the phantom limb feeling of having been so invested in a ship for that long and making friends around it.

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Well, since I mentioned it earlier, I think I’m the only person ever to watch the scenes Bud and Brianna have together in Grace and Frankie and think “that should really be a thing.” 

Also…Kate/Donna from The West Wing. Based entirely on one scene.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I genuinely don’t understand this question, sorry. What’s an ‘example’ of my headcanon, and how does that relate to prompts? If somebody wants to explain this to me, I’ll answer it. 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

Yep yep yep. Andy was the leak, not Toby, and that is the hill I will die on always. I’m sure I have others, but that’s the big one.

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Toby Ziegler (TWW), Alice Harvey (TDBM), Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Jim Hopper (Stranger Things), and Spencer Hastings (from what I just saw of PLL with @actuallylukedanes). 

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Luke/Lorelai, Gilmore Girls. Parker/Hardison/Eliot, Leverage. Joyce/Hopper, Stranger Things.

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

Josh/Donna (TWW), Donna in control. Matthew/Alice (TDBM), hurt/comfort sex. Alvareider (ODAAT), “whoops are we kissing wait do we like each other?”Jared/Miss Parker (The Pretender), conflicted kisses up against wallsI’m having trouble thinking of a 5th one but I used to really like Lizzington angry!sex bc damn that ship was angsty

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Eleven, Toby Ziegler, Schneider, Lena Luthor, Logan Echolls, literally every main character on The Good Place.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Game of Thrones, Agents of Shield, Doctor Who (though I finally have started this one!), Jane the Virgin, The Worst Witch, and lots more…I like learning about fandoms secondhand. 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

Every single one of these tiny Stranger Things children in S1 is the epitome of epic friendship and I love it. Mike jumps off a cliff to protect Dustin and Dustin’s willing to get his teeth cut out to protect Mike and Lucas offers a sincere apology when he’s wrong, something most adults still suck at, and Will tells Mike the truth even when he would benefit from lying and Eleven chooses death to save them all and they are beautiful and perfect and I love them.