#mutually constituted

[thatonebirdwrites]

19 and 23! for the ask meme pls

From this ask game.

19. What fictional doctor do you wish was your doctor?

Well, the 13th Doctor isn't necessarily a medical doctor, though she can still heal and get me to her Tardis for the worst of it. But I'd love for her to be my doctor. Absolutely loved her run and her and Yaz's relationship. She also has that playful (and often angry) approach to life that I relate to.

23. Share a bit of philosophy?

I wrote this essay by hand awhile ago, then typed it up sometime in 2021. I'll just copy/paste it for your enjoyment as it sums up my own philosophy. :)

Communality

Communality is the communion of subjects (living beings, world/Earth) not objects, and is based in the relationality of all living things and the Earth itself. What is relationality then? It is the relational way of being, knowing, and doing as defined as the socionatural configurations that arise from the recognition of the radical interdependence of all living things, where nothing preexists the relationships that constitute it (See Paulo Freire's and Arturo Escobar's books).

Our atoms come from the Earth, and thus we are interconnected, entangled. As the Earth lives, we live, and we are in communion with all living beings on the planet. We cannot separate ourselves from the Earth without falling prey to the lie of ‘individualism.’ The lie of ‘individualism’ teaches that we are all independent, not connected, and are separate from the world and thus can act upon it without consequences. This is based on the false dichotomy that undermines much of Western philosophy, that we are separate and thus not part of nature.

We cannot ever be separate from nature as we come from it, and we live within it and we use it – often in harmful ways for ourselves and the habitability of the planet. This individualistic philosophy severs us from the interdependence of our relationality with the Earth, thus we end us causing extreme harm to ourselves. So what is a better way to be with the Earth?

Relationality, where we recognize that we are not separate from the Earth but interdependent on it and all that live on it. Where we realize we are not true objective observers outside the system, but we are entangled IN the system, and thus unable to ever be one hundred percent removed and truly objective. For example, in Buddhism, we, everything in life, are the result of processes of dependent coarising.

Nothing exists intrinsically; everything is mutually constituted. This belief aligns with the results of quantum mechanics, and how our atoms are all constituted of star dust — Big Bang dust, all mutually constituted, unable to exist without all the universe also mutually existing with, in, and around us.

In a sense, our particles that comprise us are entangled with the particles of the universe. From that one starting explosion that expanded outward in all directions and dimensions to form the lattice of superclusters, galaxies, stars, planets, and us. From that one beginning, we were all formed. The universe made conscious in us (and any other sentient beings), burning with a curiosity to know itself.

Thus, we cannot truly separate ourselves from the universe in order to obtain true objectivity.

True Objectivity requires full separation from the universe to observe and rationalize it from outside its systems, but no one is one hundred percent separate from reality. This myth of true objectivity poisons our relations; it claims that only logic and separation must rule — as if we can separate ourselves from our emotions, from our unconscious biases, from our prejudices, from our socialization, from the situations in which we find ourselves. As if one can separate our minds from our bodies, our bodies from the universe. This simply is not possible in our reality.

The best we can do is analyze with a mixture of subjectivity and partial objectivity, where in partial objectivity we examine only a small segment of reality, but even in this action, our subjectivity remains because our act of observing impacts the system. Thus, again, true objectivity remains out of our reach.

Act of Observing

Quantum mechanics have shown that the act of observing a system changes the system. The observation is entangled in the system being observed, where the observer becomes part of the system they are observing. When light passes through a narrow slit with no detectors to determine where it will hit and at what velocity, it does not show any interference pattern. As soon as the detectors are added, that act of observing the photons influences the system and the interference pattern appears.

The observer becomes part of the system; the observation changed the results by the sure act of observing. Quantum particles are governed by the uncertainty principle, where particles exist and simultaneously not exist in a probability cloud, where we cannot know all attributes, such as position and velocity, at the same time and with the same accuracy. The more precise we measure one attribute, the fuzzier and more ‘spread out’ the probability cloud becomes for the other particle’s attributes.

For quantum mechanics, Schrodinger’s Equation can show where a particle is ‘likely’ to be versus ‘unlikely’ with amazing accuracy. Another interesting feature is how quantum particles’ probability clouds smear enough that sometimes they “tunnel” through barriers (Electron scanning microscopes and MRIs rely on this), but they also can become entangled so even when separated by vast distances, they still act in tandem (an example: if one particle is measured in an up spin, the other will change simultaneously to a down spin).

This entanglement is at the root of why our observations influence a system. We cannot divorce ourselves from our own particles and the universe itself. We have to include ourselves in the analysis of reality. We are interconnected and interdependent. We are mutually constituted.

Dualism is False

Descartes, a philosopher of Western Europe, separates reality into a dualism: physical stuff (realm of science – physics, chemistry, etc) and mind stuff, that although they may influence each other, they are distinctly separate. This mind/body dichotomy would influence centuries, but in the end can easily be prove false as I show above.

There is no separation — no dualism — mind stuff and physical stuff are the same, they are entangled and interconnected. Mutually constituted. Each made of the same collection of particles, and each interdependent. We cannot have our mind without our bodies.

What creates a conscious mind? The emergence of billions of particles, entangled, working in concert within the neurons of our brains; here the emergence of a new process (mind-thought) can appear. The particles of our body – of which our brain is part of our body — is necessary for the emergence of consciousness to even exist.

All is Alive and Interconnected

In Indigenous knowledge, Everything is Alive. All things — animals, people, rocks, rivers, planets, etc – are alive; they are emergent minds that exist because of the organization and energy of billions of entangled collections of particles. As much as we are dictated by the physical laws of the universe, made of the same particles originating in the Big Bang, the emergence of each of our consciousnesses stems from our unique configuration of collections of particles, and how our behaviors (responses to stimuli) begets our ability to learn, be creative, think, act — the higher level portion of a nested story that began with a collection of particles.

Thus, the point here is even an observer to a real-time situation is still part of that system they are observing and thus influence the system (even if their action is only to stand in observe). The person cannot be detached from their presence and impact on the system. At best, they can share their subjective experience and cross reference with those present (or recorded analogs or experiment logs from detectors, etc)_ to find commonalities, differences, and shared facts.

Free Will and Cooperation

Each of us unique in our configurations. As for why we are here, that is up to us to decide. I believe it is rooted in curiosity and relationality — humanity has survived NOT because of competition (it is a myth that nature is only red in tooth and claw, there is much cooperation in nature that helps species thrive), but we have survived because of cooperation.

We, even in the darkest and most dangerous disasters, tend toward cooperation. Even when people are looting stores in disasters, they aren’t doing it just out of selfish need (though their needs are valid and worthy of help) but also to share with their relations — whether those relations be biological relatives, neighbors, or other people in their area. This tendency toward cooperation has played out again and again and again throughout history. Even as children, we tend toward cooperation.

Society had to teach us how to be competitive (sometimes unsuccessfully and sometimes far too successfully), and that socialization is what severs us from each other, from the root of our being (our interconnectedness with the Earth), and from who we are.

What about reconciling our realities?

Let’s say we are looking at a cat in the box. The box is closed. We have no way to measure if the cat is actually IN the box or if the box is empty. We could try to lift the box and check its weight, but without the knowledge of the box weight or the cat weight, it is hard to definitely say the cat is in the box or not.

So until we open the box, we can disagree on reality all we want. It’s the act of measuring by opening the box where the reconciliation of our realities happen.

Now, because sentience is a weird thing, the person who claims there is no cat in the box, can go on doing that all they want, even as they reach in and touch the cat’s fur. (This is how conspiracy theories are born). They can have all the evidence the cat is in the box, but if their mind is so rooted in denying that reality, for them, they create their own made-up reality and may even fail to see what they are actually touching. We can trick our own minds. So yes, there is instances where we may disagree and have no way to reconcile it. Brains are funky like that, but now we’ve entered into the realm of psychology, and that’s not my forte.

Suffice to say, the universe reconciles the differences, but we have the conscious decision to reject that reconciliation or embrace it. Because our interdependence — us being part of the system means our act of observing the opening of the box causes the universe to reconcile the interior of the box for us to observe. The waveform collapses, and we see the cat or not. But because we are conscious and sentient, we can reject that reality still. That’s a decision that is one step beyond the moment the wave-form of quantum particles collapse from our observation.

Thanks for reading! And thank you for the questions! :D

[contemplatingoutlander]

“A representative democracy, where the right of election is well secured and regulated & the exercise of the legislative, executive and judiciary authorities, is vested in select persons, chosen really and not nominally by the people, will in my opinion be most likely to be happy, regular and durable.” --ALEXANDER HAMILTON, in a letter to New Jersey Governor Morris, 1777

This article* by George Thomas, a professor at Claremont McKenna College, provides a rebuttal to the MAGA Republicans who claim that the U.S. "is a republic, not a democracy," as if the two were mutually exclusive, and as if that were an excuse for minority party rule and/or the establishment of an autocracy. Below are some excerpts:

Dependent on a minority of the population to hold national power, Republicans such as Senator Mike Lee of Utah have taken to reminding the public that “we’re not a democracy.” It is quaint that so many Republicans, embracing a president* who routinely tramples constitutional norms, have suddenly found their voice in pointing out that, formally, the country is a republic. There is some truth to this insistence. But it is mostly disingenuous. The Constitution was meant to foster a complex form of majority rule, not enable minority rule. The founding generation was deeply skeptical of what it called “pure” democracy and defended the American experiment as “wholly republican.” To take this as a rejection of democracy misses how the idea of government by the people, including both a democracy and a republic, was understood when the Constitution was drafted and ratified. It misses, too, how we understand the idea of democracy today. When founding thinkers such as James Madison spoke of democracy, they were usually referring to direct democracy, what Madison frequently labeled “pure” democracy. Madison made the distinction between a republic and a direct democracy exquisitely clear in “Federalist No. 14”: “In a democracy, the people meet and exercise the government in person; in a republic, they assemble and administer it by their representatives and agents. A democracy, consequently, will be confined to a small spot. A republic may be extended over a large region.” Both a democracy and a republic were 'popular' forms of government: Each drew its legitimacy from the people and depended on rule by the people. The crucial difference was that a republic relied on representation, while in a “pure” democracy, the people represented themselves. [color/ emphasis added]

I strongly encourage people to read the entire article. The link above is from the Internet Archive and is accessible to all.

______________ *Note that this article was written in November 2020, when Trump was still president.

[etirabys]

I've failed at "eat meat once a week" reducetarianism but I've been drifting towards "only eat meat I'm excited about", and now I've articulated that explicitly as a direction I think I can go further in it

[gothhabiba]

actually if I think the discussion about literacy that my mutuals on here have begun & propelled could use anything, it's a historicisation of when, how, & why certain ideas about literacy arose within the field of literary studies, & how those ideas led to the field, like, existing in the first place

[barbatoskisser]

Whoecer cooked this pizza tonight deserves millions of dollars

Real rn

I love whoever they are this is the best pizza ive had in years (i usually dont eat pizza nor like it)

[howlsmovinglibrary]

What's Saltburn? 👀

Me reading this ask:

(no shade, it's just it was a film that was really big, at least in the UK, for the whole Christmas period so I was surprised!!! it was like a solid 3rd of my insta reels for a while.)

Saltburn is I would guess... a contemporary thriller or murder mystery (?) film with some gothic undertones, about a sinister (extremely homoerotic) friendship that develops between two men at Oxford University, one of whom is extremely upper class (called Felix). The other guy, the protagonist, gets invited to his ancestral home, Saltburn for the summer and the film kind of devolves into weirdness from there.

There's a lot more to story than that, but the consensus seems to be its best to go in mostly blind or armed with a list of trigger warnings so you know what to expect but not how it will be delivered! Anyway some 'weird stuff' happens and yeah the camera shots will stay on those moments for a deliberately uncomfortable amount of time.

But I found it a really interesting film to watch unfold in the purity culture of the current media landscape. The film does not *endorse* the events of the narrative at any point, but some of them are, quite frankly pretty hot. Or pretty cool to watch. Like it's a well told story! So I think a lot of people pearl clutched at this film bc they feel like they have to performatively be shocked or it looks like they're into it :') There's a lot of 'reaction' reels being like... "oh my goodness, what a shocking film! I'm so shocked!!" Meanwhile, I wasn't into it, I just have also consumed much creepier horror novels/podcasts and I think a lot of people on this site will have read hornier fanfics.

I can't work out if it's the queer/homoerotic element?? the moral component to media consumption these days, where you can't 'like' 'bad' things??? But like, Gone Girl came out 10 years ago and I don't think people needed to be this performative then! More weird media, lads!

The film is up for a lot of acting/film awards so I'd definitely recommend it, but would recommend checking out a list of triggers before making a decision if that has any bearing on your tastes in fiction!

[dykementality]

you guys im sorry but you seriously need to read a lover’s discourse by barthes. i can sometimes go a few days without thinking of it at most

[mizuta]

i keep considering making a mutuals' server, but like... i know it will be a dead server.

[himbopunk]

nowhere/my tavs relationship with gale mostly just

- im just trying to be nice i dont want to fuck dude can you chill out

- yeah i know, i'm magic too buddy. Yeah i know, still magic. Yeah. I Know. I Am Made Of Magic. Please.

- i want magic loredump but i am begging you to shut up about your ex man it's honestly almost depressing how badly you fumbled quite literally the multiverses baddest bitch

(im still in act 1 no spoilers)

making an edit to this now that i know things: mystra when i get you. when i get you mystra.

i do think nowhere still thinks gale is kind of pathetic and gale does flirt way too much for their taste but like. hes a victim

[handicappedbuenchico]

Uh... hi guys... so I'm deciding to come back after a long month of internal healing, soul searching, and a desperate need for social media decompression (you would be surprised how easy it actually is to just not be on social media and just how much it can help your mental health. I should make social media breaks a normal part of my life holy shit). Although...I'm not going to coming back HERE specifically. Let me explain, it's the least I can do:

While I was gone from RP writing I realized that I lost my muse for Carlos a long time ago, I was just fooling myself into thinking that I hadn't. So, I'm retiring Carlos for a while; he needs a break from me I think. If anyone else wants to pick Carlos up as a muse, I would love to see how you handle him, surely you'll do him better than I have ever done him 😂. That doesn't mean that I suddenly hate Carlos or anything!! Far from it, actually. He's still my second favorite character in the entire Elm Street franchise. I still love him like he was my own son.

ALSO, I'm retiring Ted along with Jamie and Alejandro as muses too. Like I said, I don't hate any of them or anything, I just no longer have muse for them like I used to. I also literally created Jamie and Alejandro's blog based on a whim and some encouragement lol I was NOT prepared to write for them at all. They were barely finished cooking in the oven when I started writing for them.

You may have noticed that I never said that I lost muse for ALL of my muses. There is still one muse connected to this account that I still have a strong steam of muse for, and let me not beat around the bush anymore. It's Spencer. Spencer is the only muse connected to this account that I still had consistent muse for. You also may have noticed that I still haven't gotten rid of his main blog yet. Well now I can get rid of it with the intention of redoing it!

ALSO TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THIS ISN'T AN "I'M DEACTIVATING" TYPE POST!! These blogs will still be available to all of my rp partners and just people casually scrolling alike, I just won't be posting on them anymore at this point. So this isn't really a formal goodbye, more like an "I'm going out to lunch with an old friend and I'll be back sooner or later" type of sentiment.

For those who are waiting for stuff in my askbox/ drafts throughout all my blogs: I'm sorry to say that you probably won't see any answers or replies any time soon.

Thank you for reading, and I don't know if anyone still checks my blogs anymore, but thank you if you do. Thank you for also putting up with me throughout my highs and my lows, I really appreciate you all.

[ardl]

kinda werid white supremacy is seen as only part of the construction of patriarchy and not like a whole ass thing that needs addressing at the same level

[iphigeniacomplex]

[Transcript:

“Cut down my trunk and make a boat,” said the tree. “Then you can sail away… and be happy.” And so the boy cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away. But even though the wind blew and the waves slopped against the side of the boat the boy knew he wasn’t going anywhere. “I know this isn’t real,” he whispered and he knew the tree was smiling and he was right. There was no boat. And he had never left her, she had never let him leave her, not even when thought he had. She had never let him really leave her. And the tree was happy.

]

the giving tree retelling daniel m lavery did back in the day was about riverdale all along

slumping over in my seat and sighing loudly until someone asks whats wrong. “town won,” i say. they ask me to elaborate, and i make some sort of weak gesture which clarifies nothing. i take a long drag of a cigarette. “town won,” i say again, shrugging. town always wins. what can you do

[allthegeopolitics]

Last week, President Joe Biden amplified a dangerous myth when he claimed that the Middle East has long harboured an “ancient hatred for Jews”. This assertion, made during Holocaust Memorial Week, suggests a fundamental misunderstanding of the region’s history. By alleging that Hamas is “driven by an ancient desire to wipe the Jewish people off the face of this earth”, Biden not only spreads falsehoods but also engages in a troubling revisionism of history. It is no exaggeration to suggest that the rhetoric of the US President serves to justify Israel’s genocidal actions in Gaza and its takeover of historic Palestine. Biden’s statement effectively transposed the historical anti-Semitism prevalent in Europe and the ancient animosity toward Jews within Christendom onto the Middle East. How can Hamas, a group established in 1987 in response to Israeli occupation, be attributed to an “ancient hatred”, especially given the absence of a historical precedent for such animosity towards Jews in the Middle East compared to Europe? In fact, for centuries, Jews found sanctuary and co-existence in Muslim-ruled lands while facing persecution in Europe. This fact is attested to even by some of the staunchest critics of Islam and Muslims. “The coming of Islam saved [Jews]”, an essay in the Jewish Chronicle concluded.  The author goes on to state that Islam provided a new context in which Jews “not only survived, but flourished, laying foundations for subsequent Jewish cultural prosperity.” The historical reservoir of anti-Semitism that led to the Holocaust did not originate in the Muslim world, but rather in Christian Europe. Contrary to Biden’s assertion of “ancient desires”, the Middle East, where the three Abrahamic faiths were born, was not the breeding ground for such sentiments. In fact, Muslims and Jews have a rich history of peaceful co-existence and mutual support, dating back to the time of Prophet Muhammad. As early as 622 CE, the Prophet ratified the constitution of Medina, a ground-breaking pact that unified Muslims, Jews and others into one community, as part of the Ummah, demonstrating a long-standing alliance and shared heritage.

Continue Reading.

[caxde]

bright eyes | eddie munson x reader

summary you and Eddie have just become a couple, you meet hellfire club, Wayne finally meets you, navigating your relationship with him and his little girl (6.8k)

warnings fem!reader, girl!dad Eddie!!!!, fluff, mutual pining, yearning etc, slowburn strangers to lovers, idiots in love!!!, , english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read! 

a/n: thank you guys for the support, and thanks to the lovely @criesinlies for her help and motivation, this one is for u babe <3 part1 part2 part 3 (they can be read seperatly)

“As you feel the air collapse in your lungs, I’m gonna need a constitution saving throw from you, Tayr.” Eddie explains, as his voice changes into that dramatic tone he always uses when he’s in the middle of a session, pointing at Mike who is stunned and on the verge of having a meltdown. 

“Wha-Whaddumean the air collapses in my lungs?” He asks frantically, as he shuffles through papers, trying to find something that will get him out of this, his die on his hand, rattling anxiously. 

“Counterspell!” Will screams, his hand on reaching for Eddie, he just scoffs. 

“It’s not a spell.” His voice remains calm, not stopping the visual contact he had going on, enjoying the menacing aura he had going on, something he didn’t get to do as often now that most of the stories and voices he could do were the ones for bedtime so Lua would fall asleep. 

He enjoyed looking at the chaos that ensued at the table, how they all were chatting amongst themselves, trying to find a solution, something useful so Mike’s character wouldn't die. 

Eddie hears the soft knocks on the door, his eyebrows raise a bit as he looks over at the trailer. The kids were around the table, buried deep with character sheets and spell cards, Max and El were on the living room floor drawing and colouring with Lua, Steve and Robin weren’t supposed to come pick them up for another forty minutes and uncle Wayne had yet to come back from work. 

He made his way to the front door, excusing himself from his usual DM spot, Dustin nodding in understanding, a curious look on his face as he looked over at him, and who could be behind the door. 

You had left work a bit earlier, for once they actually respected your work hours, and understood that if you started your shift at ten in the morning, you shouldn’t stay past six in the afternoon. So for once, you were back in the trailer park beforehalf past, and lucky for you, you caught some pastries they wanted to throw out, they said they were too old to sell, but you had baked them yesterday night, so you knew for a fact the blueberry muffins that where Lua’s favourite and the Cinnamon rolls that Eddie liked were good to take. 

So, there you were, your work clothes still on, and a little cardboard box in your hands. 

You looked up at him, as soon as he opened the door and his head tilted ever so slightly to the right, your lips were already curving upwards as you made eye contact with him. His eyes melting a bit at the sight of you, he made a step back, letting you in. 

You didn’t really have any reason to be alert, you were just happy to see him, and excited to do so, even if the nerves of the dinner you had in a couple hours were starting to manifest in your body, you paid them no mind. Instead, you pointed your feet up, the distance between both of your bodies closing, a small peck left on his lips from yours. He smiled as he always does when you kiss him. 

You realised right there that something strange was going on, when the usual noise that rummaged through his trailer was gone. Even worse, the noise you had heard from the other side of the door had ceased, you pulled away, not too far for that matter, your body still a breath away from his, his hand resting on your waist. 

“Got out of work earlier, they gave me some sweets… I thought maybe Lua..” That’s when you realised that he wasn’t exactly alone. 

There was a group of kids sitting around a table, their eyes about to pop out of their heads, mouths opened in shock, whilst Lua was in the company of two girls. You recognized the red head, Max lived a couple trailers down from you, she always had some kind words to say about your outfit, and you had helped her a couple of times when her mom was away and her washing machine was making the same funny sound as yours did. 

She was the one that seemed more shocked out of them all, standing up in one swift movement as Lua clocked that you were there. Her usual gigle as a greeting as she started walking clumsily to your feet, her arms opened for you to hug her. Eddie gave you the same nod he always did, as he took a step further from you and took the little box with sweets out of your hands. It always happened when Lua wanted attention from you, you looked over at Eddie a ‘is this okay? can i hold her?’ look he had become used to, and that he absolutely adored. 

“Princess!” Lua cheered as she wrapped her arms lazily on the back of your neck, Eddie had told you about the whole princess accident, and you had become somehow warmed up about the nickname that she had gifted you. You pulled her in a warm hug. 

“Hi dude, you doing okay?” You asked, your voice higher in pitch as it always did when you talked to her. 

“Yeah. Friends over!” She pointed out to the two girls that remained silent on the floor, her mouth still slightly opened. 

“Eddie you rat!” Max broke the silence, the cascade of comments starting to flow as the kids were coming out of shock. “I live right next to you, how did I not know!” She continued, you looked at her, a bit afraid of her if you were being honest. Her hard tone contradicts with her wide smile. 

“Is she your girlfriend?” One of the boys asked from the table, his tan skin made his blue shirt pop, just as much as his question did. Making you both blush in a similar way, looking at each other, Lua looking between the both of you, still on your arms. 

“She’s dada’s princess.” She explains, as best as she could, her sweet words making you chuckle, as Eddie took her from your arms, pulling her in a soft embrace. 

“Yes, and she got you a snack, d’you want some?” Eddie rattled the box, and Lua’s eyes widened as she cheered. 

The chattering continued as you sort of stood in the middle of the room, not sure where to go to, or what to do now. 

“How did he get you to agree to go out with him?” A boy with curly hair half covered with a cap that had some writing you couldn’t quite read spoke, an incredulous tone evident by the way his face looked, a raised eyebrow following his question. 

“It wasn’t that hard, really… he just… asked?” You could hear Eddie laughing from the kitchen, the sound of it making your shoulders relax, you weren’t used to that much attention. 

“Unbelievable, I should have been asking Eddie the Freak Munson for girl advice, not King Steve… who would have known.” The same boy replayed, you caught the same dramatic voice and flare you had caught on Eddie a few times, it made you chuckle. 

“Eddie the Freak?” You questioned, more to yourself than to anyone else, as you took a step closer to the table.

“Oh, yeah. He’s a big nerd, even bigger when he was in High School.” Max was the one talking now, teasing him as Eddie walked out the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest. 

Lua was walking with a plastic plate on her hand, half of the muffin on it. She was trying really carefully to not drop it, concentrating on finding her way to the couch. 

“Hey, enough teasing the one that’s housing you, ‘kay?” That was an expression you still haven’t seen or heard in Eddie. His head tilted to the left, his hair falling a bit in front of his face, his eyes wider before he closed them a bit, his lips pressing against each other. Eddie was embarrassed, and didn’t really know how to manage it. 

“Yeah, we’re literally in the middle of a campaign.” The boy with the black hair and arched nose points out frantically gesturing at the board on top of the table. “I might be dying!” Urgency comes back into his voice, and you can see the way Eddie tries to mask a laugh, his hand hiding his smile, only growing when he makes eye contact with you. 

“Well, at least someone kisses her girlfriend.” The girl that was beside Max and had been quiet spoke out, a spec of hurt in her voice. Her words made the boy that was somehow about to die shake his head in disbelief at her, while Max and the two other boys that had spoken chuckle. The boy that hadn’t spoken yet looked at the dying boy longley. 

Eddie enjoyed the teasing when it wasn’t focused on him, so he let out a chuckle as soon as she heard how El teased Mike back for not being as affectionate as he was. Then again, Eddie was aware that he was highly affectionate, and even now, not being next to you, or holding your hand was a weird feeling now that he could call you his girlfriend. 

Maybe that’s why he uses the small moment where they were chuckling and quietly teasing Mike to walk over you, his hand finally resting on the small of your back, where it fits in a perfect way, the small touch reassuring you in a way you didn’t think possible. Your head spins to look at him, his eyes half closed when they meet yours, he can’t help but leave a small kiss on your forehead. And you can’t help but rest your head on his chest as soon as he breaks the tiny kiss. 

“Okay, roll call or they won’t stop looking at us weird.” Eddie half jokes as he speaks up, you just enjoy the way his chest vibrates when he talks, for a moment you let yourself daydreaming of the day you get to sleep with him as close as you were now. “You know Max.” You nod as the red haired girl looks up at you again, before sitting down back on the floor. “That’s El” The one that had teased the other boy about kissing mouthed a silent hi, her eyebrows slightly raised “She also goes by Jane.” Eddie turns to your ear, whispering it to you. 

“Dustin, Henderson. Though right now I’m Nog.” The boy with the curled covered hair spoke next, he seemed excited to meet you, his smile was contagious. 

“Uh… Okay?” You weren’t exactly sure what he meant with right now, and you had a habit of not masking your emotions, so your face could be read like a poem, your eyebrows raised in misunderstanding and confusion. 

“She doesn’t know about D&D?” The boy that was supposedly dying erupted again, and you heard Eddie audibly roll his eyes. 

“It doesn’t matter.”The guy next to him talked, though he almost cut him off, frustration on his voice, the rest of the party scoffed and tried to hide a chuckle “I’m Will, or Will the Wise. He’s Mike, or Tayr in this case.” He pointed to them both, you nodded, trying hard to remember everyone’s names. 

“I’m Lucas or Sundar the Bold, also Max’s sometimes boyfriend.” He tries to charm the girl who just rolls her eyes as she shakes her head. Even if you clock a soft curving of her lips. 

You smile to yourself, trying to hold as much information as you can. 

“Do you also have a second name?” 

Eddie laughs, as he pushes a little hair away from his face, tucking it away nicely under his ear. 

“No, I uh… I’m the, uh… Dungeon Master.” 

“What’s-”

Luckily for Eddie, Steve walked in at that moment. Robin followed him closely. Giving him another moment of quietness and self reflection as they walked inside, observing the scene as they did.

He had never been embarrassed about playing, or anything of that matter, but for some stupid reason that he wasn’t sure of, he felt just that seeing you in his space when he was not expecting it. He wasn’t prepared, for you to see him actively nerding out, even worse, when the stakes at the table were as high. 

“I think we got here a bit early, Steve.” Robin pointed out, her voice doing that sing along tone that you found charming. Lua waved at them from the couch where she was still enjoying her little treat. The reason you were here after all. 

“Oh, shi-” Eddie glared down at him before he could finish the sentence, a quick nod to the little girl listening in. “You’re one to talk.” 

“You are!” Dustin halved screamed from his chair, an accusatory finger pointing at him. “You’re the one giving out girl advice, while Eddie somehow managed to find a respectfully hot girl to go out with him.” You can’t help but giggle at the way he said respectfully, his mouth enunciating every syllable of the word while he looked at you in an apologetic way. 

Eddie blushed harder, the palm of his hand hitting his forehead. The vein on his neck grows larger every second. Unlucky for him, and due to the fact that he was far too distracted, he missed the look on your face when you caught that, the half second where the image of Eddie biting his lower lip trying to hide a cocky smile as his vein pulsed had made your thighs clench, and your eyes darken. 

“Henderson’s right, Steve” Robin added in her teasing tone, her words felt like they had an extra space written in between them. “That’s another point on the you suck table.” For some reason that you didn’t understand, that snarky comment made them all laugh, an inside joke you hope to understand someday. 

“I uh… should go back to my trailer.” You point to the opened door with your head, your hand now was somehow tangled with Eddie’s. 

“You can stay.” He pleas with a sweet soft voice, like honey to your ears. His eyes looking down at you, somehow becoming doe-like. 

“I would, but I need to make dinner for four.” You remind him as you wink. A lovesick smile appears on his lips once again, forgetting that he was surrounded by people that will tease him as soon as you’re gone. “I’ll leave the door unlocked, come whenever.” 

He stands there for a moment, knowing full well that their friends are talking to him, teasing him relentlessly, but he doesn’t really care, he’s too focused on seeing the way your body moves, and how even your steps reflect how happy you feel. 

-

“I thought she was coming over here.” Wayne pointed out, standing against the bathroom door, looking over Eddie's shoulder, as he brushed out Lua’s recently clean hair. 

“She was, but she wanted to host, said she’d feel more comfortable.” Eddie explained, not really focusing on what he was saying, more centered in the job he was doing. He had an experience with curly hair, and knew just how much care it needed, and how much he hated detangling it when he himself was a kid. “I’ll be done in a second, bug.” He tried to reassure her, her hands pushing him away. 

“Right.” Eddie wasn’t expecting much words out of his uncle, but he was still a bit anxious, and he wasn’t really sure he knew why. “You should shower, I’ll change Lua.” He told him, as he grabbed Lua in a soft embrace. 

That’s when Eddie realised he had been anxiously brushing his daughter’s hair for the last fifteen minutes. 

And that he probably just needed a second, a moment or a minute just for himself. 

 Turns out, silence can also be an overwhelming sound. 

For Eddie, silence was the time his thoughts gained free raign on his brain.

Even if he tried to quiet them down, hot water hitting the back of his head as he takes his time washing his hair, he wasn’t sure he could do it. 

He was used to judgment. First it was him being a nerd, which evolved into freak, which ended with reckless. First he had been an outcast, then he had been the dangerous teen, now he was the young dad who barely finished high school. 

His problem -he realised as the water pressure hitted the knot that he had on his left shoulder- was that that had all happened before you met him. 

And he hadn’t told you a lot about that. Or about Hellfire and just how important and life saving it had been for him, despite it’s nerdy side, which was what you had only seen. 

He had a river of what if’s as he brushed his damp hair, putting leave in conditioner and drying it. 

He kept thinking. 

What if you seeing him with (ironically) even more kids had somehow pushed you away.

What if you knowing that he had been on the verge of expulsion made you reject him. 

What if you getting to actually know him made you wish you never had in the first place. 

Wayne knew what was going on, but he had realised through experience that the best he could do is just give him space, facilitate the tasks he had to do. So he left him his comfort black button up shirt he always wore when he wanted to feel better, his usual blue jeans under it. 

He had dressed Lua, with the hand-me-down clothes Jameson from three trailers up had given them a few months ago, a pastel baby blue dress she had a fuss about, until she realised it was actually comfortable. Wayne smiled to himself, remembering how Eddie used to do the same. 

Across the street, you were setting up the table. 

The meat cannelloni your grandma used to make for you -or your best attempt at them- where being covered in bechamel that you had just finished, the bottom of the pot that you had used was barely brown for once, a good sign, you thought. Maybe a bit too nutmeg, maybe not enough salt, but it drowns the cannelloni in a warm blanket, before you put some shredded cheese on top. 

Once they were in the oven, the whole trailer smelt like warmth. 

And you started fidgeting with the hem of your long sleeve. 

You checked again that the white wine was chilled, and that you had plenty of water and orange juice for Lua. 

You repainted your lips red, and checked that you didn’t have any mascara stains in your eyelids for the third time. 

You decided to set the table, soft music playing in the background. A tape you had had for a while, with Bowie, the Smiths and some songs you just knew the name of. As you placed the last fork, the familiar soft knock came from the door. A smile appearing in your lips as a response. 

Eddie’s breathing slowed down as soon as he locked eyes with you. His shoulders dropped a bit, his eyes softened, just by seeing you, the river of thoughts stopped. 

Wayne’s eyebrows raised -as soon as he saw the effect you had on his anxious nephew- but neither of you noticed. 

“You look nice.” You let out, your voice softer, kinder. 

“So do you.” He said back, his voice no longer shaking. Lua in his arms, reaching for you. 

“Hi dude!” Your pitch became higher, as you grabbed her for a quick hug, letting her on the floor so she could investigate as she loved to do. 

Eddie stepped a bit closer to you, leaving a kiss on the spot he liked so much, right where your right temple met your hairline, before introducing you to Wayne. 

“It’s a pleasure.” You tell him, a firm shake of hands proceeds your words, a kind smile in his lips as his eyes are framed by smile lines. 

“I’m sure it’s all mine.” He replays, you like how he drags every word, his accent being so different form the one Eddie has. “It smells heavenly.” 

“Grandma’s recipe.” You tell him, as you move to the table. 

Eddie sees that you had fixed a chair with a couple of your hard pillows, so Lua could actually be seated on her own chair, with you. For some stupid reason, it warmed his heart. He hadn’t asked you to, assuming that she’d just be in his lap once again, but seeing that you had taken the effort, made him see -even if he thought it before- just how much you do care. 

Wayne caught it, the way Eddie’s smirk appeared as he looked at the chair, the small plastic plate and utensils you had set up for her. Water and orange juice. Wayne was starting to like you already, and he had barely talked to you. 

Everyone seemed to like the food, a soft wow escaped Wayne’s lips when non one was looking, as his eyebrows raised in amusement. Lua had wanted to try them as soon as they were set up on the table, Eddie telling her as he cut them up in a soft voice that they were too hot, she didn’t care. She grabbed the end of the fork Eddie had, trying to take a bite. 

“Do you really wanna burn your mouth?” He asked, even if he was a bit overwhelmed, his tone stayed sweet, calm. She nodded, only looking at the food. He let her take a small bite, which she did eat, chewing with her mouth opened. “I told you.” Eddie gave her a look that you found endearing. His head tilted ever so slightly to the right, his eyes opened a bit too much nodding as he did so, a soft giggle escaped your lips. He couldn’t help his from curling as soon as he heard you. 

“Yummy” Is all she said, and it made your eyes squint a bit, your smile growing bigger. Eddie’s voice stopped for a second as he saw you, and how proud you looked. 

“You like it?” Eddie could swear your eyes shined when you asked, even a bit brighter when you saw Lua nodding. 

Wayne realised something in that moment, the small bubble that you seemed to be in. 

From where he was, it already looked like you belonged. Like you always had. You seemed to understand Eddie just as good as he was, maybe even better. 

Wayne did try to get to know you, asking you things every time he felt like he had an opportunity. He was always kind, and gave you a smile when you answered. 

The thing that you found out that Wayne and Eddie shared was how much they listened, and remembered. 

“How come you ended up in Hawkins?” 

“They lied to her.” Eddie replayed before you could, food still in your mouth. 

“Whaddumean?” Wayne responded in shock, his eyes staring at you, wanting you to answer. 

“I uh… I got a call about a teaching spot that was supposedly open, in the High School, but uh… they forgot to add that it wouldn’t actually be available for another six months so… I’m in the cafe, saving up… you know” You felt like you were overexplaining yourself, or that you were coming across as pitiful, but as soon as you felt Eddie's hand on your thigh, a small squeeze on it, you knew you were going to be okay. That you were doing okay. 

Wayne looked over at Eddie, a smirk appearing on his lips, that Eddie knew the meaning of, and for once he was welcome you didn’t. It said, you also want to get out of here. Eddie couldn’t unpack that, not now. 

“Well, I’ve heard you’ve already met some of your future students.” He said instead, taking a sip of the white wine you had poured for him. 

“Have I?” 

“Didn’t your little fan club come?” Wayne was now looking at Eddie, who had gone quieter. Not only was he not talking, but he had that shyness that he had grown to hide coming out, right there in the open. 

“Fan club?” You asked back, giving him a little look. He seemed lost, present, but still not entirely there. 

“Hellfire, we uh… play a game together.” 

“I didn’t know you had more kids beside Lua.” Even if you were smiling sincerely, even if he knew you were teasing him, he still gave you an apologetic smile, not really looking at you but at Wayne, begging him to stop. 

Wayne understands, so he waits a few seconds for the music that had been softly playing to stop, he wipes his mouth with the napkin as he nods at his nephew. 

“I should get Lua to bed.” He excuses himself, as he walks over to her. Lua looked up at him with a puzzled look in her eyes, her head swinging between his dad and his uncle. “Let’s go to bed, Lu.” It’s the first time that you hear him being sweet, almost like honey. 

Lua stands up on her own, her arms up in the air, waiting to be lift up by him. He waves you goodbye in sync with Wayne as he walks out the door. 

You stand up. 

You don’t really know what you have done to make Eddie quiet, but you give him space, as you clear the table, and you catch him playing with his index finger, a repetitive movement that lets you know he’s got something bugging him in his mind. 

You let him stay in the chair while water runs down your hands. Calming yourself whilst you come out with the right words. 

“Are you okay?” You end up asking the most basic question, but the only one you can actually think of. He finally looks up at you, and in doing so he realises due to the iron taste in his mouth that he had been biting his lower lip a bit too hard. 

“Yeah, just… Sorry.” He tried to brush it off, finally standing up, walking to the kitchen. His hands hidden deep in the back pockets of his jeans.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He knows that took courage out of you to ask, you start cleaning the plates, the sponge bubbling up as you squeezed it. 

“Do you want me to dry?” He asks back, stepping closer to you, nodding to your previous question, looking for a way to be close to you. 

“Sure.” You step to the left, letting him a bit of space for him to fit, his waits hitting his, a comforting touch that makes his brain slow down once more. “Did I do something? While we were eating?” You try to ask, not sure why he went quiet all of a sudden. Not sure why Wayne had vanished and let you two alone, or why he nodded at Eddie before doing so. 

“No, you were amazing. I can tell Wayne already likes you.” He admits, drying the first plate, his voice was shaking a bit in anticipation about the conversation he knew you were about to have. “It’s just… I haven’t been embarrassed about Hellfire in like, ever. And suddenly the fear that you might I dunno, think it’s dumb, or that you wouldn’t like me being like, this huge nerd, that hangs out with Highschoolers while you are supposed to be a teacher and I…” He was talking faster and faster, his words were starting to fuse together, catching up to the speed in which his brain was thinking about it all. 

You turn the faucet off, paying him full attention. He catches that in the midst of his rumbling. His eyes lock with yours, as nervous tears make his eyes crystallize. 

“Shit I barely graduated. I hated school, I was a freak who liked to play or still likes rather, who tried to defend anyone even if I got beat up or called shitty things and then I got a kid and shit… You have been nothing but nice and you literally are like a I dunno, a princess. Kind and all that shit I don’t… I don’t really deserve it.” 

You shake your head as he talks, wanting to interrupt but not really being able to. You just take his hand, a soft touch that lets him know he’s being heard. 

“Moon.” He can’t help but look at the way your lips move when you call him by the sweetest nickname he had ever been called, only made better by your voice. Your thumb tracing drabbles on the back of his hand. “I like that you’re a nerd.” He can feel the sincerity of your voice, only made more evident by the smile that painted your lips. “I like it because I like you.” You tell him, your eyes looking at the way his lips part, his head shaking in embarrassment. “I don’t care if you play whatever game, or hang out with whoever, because that makes you who you are. And that’s who I like.” 

“Idiot.” It’s the only thing he can manage to say back, with the stupidest widest smile you had seen from him. 

“Hopefully yours.” You tease back, turning back to keep cleaning more dishes. 

He just stands there, mesmerized by you, and the way that you treat him, how you make him feel. He just gives in the urge, his arms wrapping to your waist, his chest hitting your back. You gave in a bit, pushing into him, melting in his arms. 

He took the opportunity to kiss your neck, right where it made your skin tingle, goosebumps being sent through your body. He kisses the same spot again after he hears a giggle turning into a soft moan. 

You turn to him, finally giving him a decent kiss. 

His lips intertwined with yours, the softness contradicted with the underlining neediness of his touch, both of you smiling through the kiss, his hands in the small of your waist, pulling you in closer, your hands lost in his hair, tugging it in a way he thought was heavenly. 

“Yeah, hopefully mine.” He finally responded, once he broke off the kiss, his forehead still touching yours, his hands tracing circles on your skin, under your shirt. You couldn’t stop playing with the ends of his hair. 

You stayed a bit longer like that, soft caress left on your body, as you just held each other, whispering sweet nothings to one another. 

-

He had come over, right when you were ending your shift, panic in his eyes. He was stressed, you could tell that much, switching his order from regular to decaf. He told you, that he had just been called to cover a late shift, and that he didn’t know if he could take Lua with him, because it would be too late, that Wayne had the night shift and wouldn’t be home until 6 in the morning, how much he just needed some reassurance, maybe a little kiss -he couldn’t stop teasing, not even if he tried, not even when he was panicking- but he wasn’t expecting your response to all of this. 

“I could go over and watch her.” 

You saw how his thoughts stopped for a moment, and how the warmth he felt in his heart after he heard your words spread through his cheeks. He asked if you were sure, if you actually didn’t mind. He reminded you that you didn’t have to do it, that it wasn’t your responsibility nor did he want to impose you with something you weren’t ready for. 

“I’d love to spend some time with her. Maybe she’ll even like me more than you in the end.”

He chuckled, added a no way and thanked you a bit too much, finalizing it all with a quick kiss before he headed out, already late for his shift. 

A to go cup in his hand.

Wayne had also thanked you profusely, even if he was a man of no words, he gave you a smile and a comforting squeeze on your shoulder. Lua was sitting down on the couch, mumbling along to the words to her favourite princess movie, while she swanged her hand around, holding on tightly to her chocolate chip cookie. 

You sat down next to her, she squeezed in closer to you. 

“You really like Aurora, don’t you?” Your voice was always higher in pitch when you talked to her, slower, softer. You thought that maybe you did that, in a way, because if someone had been kinder to you when you were little, maybe things would have been easier. 

“She’s the best.” She answered, as if it was painfully obvious. “She lives in the woods, like me!” She pointed out, as soon as the little cottage came on the screen. 

“She does.” 

“And Dada says I’m special like her.” You noticed how her eyes shined when she talked about Eddie, the care and love he had for her reciprocating in the way she talked. 

“You are.” You reassured her, brushing her hair with your fingers, she cuddled with you, a smile on her face. 

-

Three fast knocks on the door made you startled. Lua had just gone to bed, and you were a bit busy cleaning the mess you ended up doing. Thankfully, you were used to cleaning after yourself, white papers filled with doodles, and teddies laid on the floor next to the couch. You looked at the clock, and you saw that Eddie still had a while to come home, and he wouldn’t knock, he would just barge in. So with an unsure pace, you made your way to the trailer door, opening it as the little boy was screaming Eddie’s name. 

“Oh, hi.” He mumbled, as soon as he saw you. 

“Hi. You’re… Dustin?” He took a quick look at you, scanning the scene before he dared to say anything else, not really understanding why you opened the door and not his friend who actually lived there. 

“Uh, yeah. We met.” He was measuring his words, still a bit unsure as to what he was supposed to do now. “Where’s Eddie?”

“D’you wanna come in?” You both had asked the questions at the same time, so when he nodded, you just stepped to the side so he could come in. You noticed the backpack he had glued to his back, his straps tighter so the weight wouldn’t bother him. “What do you got there?” You pointed at the heavy back with your finger, a curious tone in your voice that made him grab it, before putting it on the table. 

“Oh, I was supposed to meet Eddie.” He said, before seeing you nod, wanting to know more, as you sat down. He followed your movements, as he opened the bag. “He left me some of his D&D stuff, and he was supposed to help me with some things I wanted to add to my first campaign.” He started yapping, you saw that just as Eddie, he talked faster when he was excited about a topic. 

“That’s the game you were playing the other day?” You ask sincerely, he nods, as he starts to fill the table with books, little figurines, papers that had scribbling with two different handwriting, sketches… You got lost into all of it for a second, Dustin watching at the way you seemed to analyze it all. “Could you… like, teach me stuff about it?” 

“Why?” Dustin scrunched his nose, not really following you, his eyebrows almost meeting on the bridge of his nose. 

“Eddie really likes this game, and he talks about it, and I don’t always follow, but I don’t wanna bother him with too many questions so…” 

Dustin's wide smile was all the confirmation you needed. 

You were starting to get it, you had races, and classes and the little numbers on the paper sheets where abilities, that you decided rolling weird sided dice. 

You were in to deep, trying to understand and following him closely, as he flipped through the pages of the big dense book he had between the both of you. 

Maybe that’s why neither of you heard him when he walked in. 

He was about to talk, his mouth remained open, but as soon as he saw you both, he stayed there. His body against the door frame, his arms crossed above his chest as he just looked, with the fondest stupidest smile on his lips as he saw just how much interest you had in whatever Dustin was talking to you about. 

“So you can mix and match any classes and races?” You ask, Eddie's heart stops for a moment, he hadn’t realised you were talking about his game. 

“Yeah, I mean if you were to play a bard which was…?” Dustin was questioning you, seeing if you remembered what he had just spent some time trying to explain to you. 

“An unhinged rockstar that likes to tell stories.” 

“So basically Eddie.” Dustin made the same joke again, making you giggle, whilst Eddie tried to hide his chuckle, wanting to know what you’d say without you knowing he was there. 

“That’s my man.” You teased back, in a singing tone that made Dustin laugh as he looked back down at the book. 

“Yeah, so, if you made your Bard a Half-Elf, it would automatically get a +2 to charisma, which is extremely useful to them.” He cheered, you nodded. You knew that Dustin was feeling a bit proud, as he was explaining these things to you. 

“And they also get a +1 stat boost to other abilities.” Eddie finally chirped in, making his presence known. 

He smiled widely, as he walked over to you. His arms falling to his side, his heart beating faster as if it were eager to finally be near yours. 

“Hi.” You said, voice barely above a whisper as he got closer.

“Hi.” He answered, closing the distance between your lips with a quick peck. 

Dustin was happy, seeing the way Eddie melted when you were close, he liked seeing his friend act like that. All soft, as opposed to the thought persona he had to give out when he was still in school, back when they met each other. 

“Dustin was helping me understand your game.” You told him, eyes shining up at him. “But you’re the one he wants to ask stuff to, so… I’ll head home. See you soon Henderson.” You told the cap wearing boy, with a soft squeeze to his shoulder, he waved bye to you, looking as Eddie walked you to the door. “Lua’s been asleep for a while, so don’t worry about that.” You told him, getting a bit lost into him, which you were starting to realise you had no control over, when his eyes looked like chocolate pools under the moonlight. 

“Have I told you how amazing you are?” He told you, pushing a small flock of hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek with his thumb a bit longer than he really needed to. 

You shook your head in disbelief, your eyes not letting go from his stare. You bite your lower lip, a bit from shame, a bit from childish excitement over kind words. He lowered his thumb, pulling your lip down so you wouldn’t bite it. 

The delicate move, the roughness of his callused finger contradicting with the softness of it all, sends your body into overdrive. 

Goosebumps not only filled your body, but his too. He felt it just as much as you need, the spark, the electricity, the fire. It screamed i need you, though sometimes, it seemed like it was screaming i love you, or rather i could love you if you let me. 

“Why?” Is the only thing you could gather to ask, your voice shaking a bit from want, or need. Eddie felt like your voice was a velvety hug on his skin. 

“Just, you really are.” 

He kissed you. His thumb tilted your jaw upwards so he could reach your lips, even if it was a simple movement, it still made your head a bit dizzy. You took a step closer to him, amidst the kiss, so your waist would touch his, so you could get your hands on the back of his neck, burying them in his hair. Your tongues touch, and you feel out of breath. Eddie couldn’t stop himself from smiling, he was too happy, and it was all thanks to you. 

“Goodnight Moon.” You whispered into his ear, finally pulling away. 

“Goodnight Princess.” 

He could have stayed there, watching you leave forever, if it weren’t for Dustin’s soft teasing. A stream of oh lover boy! that came from inside the trailer, it couldn’t even bother him, not even a little bit. 

Because deep down he knew, he was falling deep in love with you. 

-

if you enjoyed it please leave a comment or reblog. i promise it makes a huge difference <3

-

requests! are open

@took-me-hours-to-steal-those @edens-vices-art @micheledawn1975 @peachystenbrough @mewchiili @bylermaxmayfield @yujyujj @honeymoonmunsonn @paleidiot @ali-r3n @sunshineandwitchery @supernaturalstilinski @womencriedpower @saramelaniemoon @cultish-corner @babyloutattoo89 @witchwolflea @serenadingtigers @readergf @guineveresghost @saramelaniemoon

part 4 is up, thank for the support dudes <3

[sewerfight]

Mutual 1: I think if there was anything even remotely going on I'd like to partake in it right right now. Even if it involved glassing people at the bar #loneliness

Mutual 2: these fucking CUNTS have NO IDEA what constitutes a well rounded healthy breakfast and if I SEE people hating on oatmeal again I'm coming into their house to do unspeakable things to them

Mutual 3: just saw a really dumb post on my dash. People need to remember that some folks don't like oatmeal cause most of the accessible oatmeals out there are from Quaker Oats, a food brand infamous for feeding mentally disabled children radioactive substances in an illegal experiment that took place in the 40s. As well as because this link states that there are incredibly high levels of chlormequat in their products

Mutual 4: what the fuck is "accessible oatmeal". what the hell is anyone talking about.

Mutual 5: honestly I've started blocking people cause of this oatmeal thing. wish you guys were normal

Mutual 6: *picture of a cigarette stub held between two fingers from a strangely impossible pov* at the pond..... lotta ducks out today

[dailyanarchistposts]

Turbulent times are upon us. Already, blockades, demonstrations, riots, and clashes are occuring regularly. It’s past time to be organizing for the upheavals that are on the way.

But getting organized doesn’t mean joining a pre-existing institution and taking orders. It shouldn’t mean forfeiting your agency and intelligence to become a cog in a machine. From an anarchist perspective, organizational structure should maximize both freedom and voluntary coordination at every level of scale, from the smallest group up to society as a whole.

You and your friends already constitute an affinity group, the essential building block of this model. An affinity group is a circle of friends who understand themselves as an autonomous political force. The idea is that people who already know and trust each other should work together to respond immediately, intelligently, and flexibly to emerging situations.

This leaderless format has proven effective for guerrilla activities of all kinds, as well as what the RAND Corporation calls “swarming” tactics in which many unpredictable autonomous groups overwhelm a centralized adversary. You should go to every demonstration in an affinity group, with a shared sense of your goals and capabilities. If you are in an affinity group that has experience taking action together, you will be much better prepared to deal with emergencies and make the most of unexpected opportunities.

This guide is adapted from an earlier version that appeared in our Recipes for Disaster: An Anarchist Cookbook.

Affinity Groups are Powerful

Relative to their small size, affinity groups can achieve a disproportionately powerful impact. In contrast to traditional top-down structures, they are free to adapt to any situation, they need not pass their decisions through a complicated process of ratification, and all the participants can act and react instantly without waiting for orders���yet with a clear idea of what to expect from one another. The mutual admiration and inspiration on which they are founded make them very difficult to demoralize. In stark contrast to capitalist, fascist, and socialist structures, they function without any need of hierarchy or coercion. Participating in an affinity group can be fulfilling and fun as well as effective.

Most important of all, affinity groups are motivated by shared desire and loyalty, rather than profit, duty, or any other compensation or abstraction. Small wonder whole squads of riot police have been held at bay by affinity groups armed with only the tear gas canisters shot at them.

The Affinity Group is a Flexible Model

Some affinity groups are formal and immersive: the participants live together, sharing everything in common. But an affinity group need not be a permanent arrangement. It can serve as a structure of convenience, assembled from the pool of interested and trusted people for the duration of a given project.

A particular team can act together over and over as an affinity group, but the members can also break up into smaller affinity groups, participate in other affinity groups, or act outside the affinity group structure. Freedom to associate and organize as each person sees fit is a fundamental anarchist principle; this promotes redundancy, so no one person or group is essential to the functioning of the whole, and different groups can reconfigure as needed.

Pick the Scale That’s Right for You

An affinity group can range from two to perhaps as many as fifteen individuals, depending on your goals. However, no group should be so numerous that an informal conversation about pressing matters is impossible. You can always split up into two or more groups if need be. In actions that require driving, the easiest system is often to have one affinity group to each vehicle.

Get to Know Each Other Intimately

Learn each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities and backgrounds, so you know what you can count on each other for. Discuss your analyses of each situation you are entering and what is worth accomplishing in it—identify where they match, where they are complentary, and where they differ, so you’ll be ready to make split-second decisions.

One way to develop political intimacy is to read and discuss texts together, but nothing beats on-the-ground experience. Start out slow so you don’t overextend. Once you’ve established a common language and healthy internal dynamics, you’re ready to identify the objectives you want to accomplish, prepare a plan, and go into action.

Decide Your Appropriate Level of Security

Affinity groups are resistant to infiltration because all members share history and intimacy with each other, and no one outside the group need be informed of their plans or activities.

Once assembled, an affinity group should establish a shared set of security practices and stick to them. In some cases, you can afford to be public and transparent about your activities. in other cases, whatever goes on within the group should never be spoken of outside it, even after all its activities are long completed. In some cases, no one except the participants in the group should know that it exists at all. You and your comrades can discuss and prepare for actions without acknowledging to outsiders that you constitute an affinity group. Remember, it is easier to pass from a high security protocol to a low one than vice versa.

Make Decisions Together

Affinity groups generally operate on via consensus decision-making: decisions are made collectively according to the needs and desires of every individual involved. Democratic voting, in which the majority get their way and the minority must hold their tongues, is anathema to affinity groups—for if a group is to function smoothly and hold together under stress, every individual involved must be satisfied. Before any action, the members of a group should establish together what their personal and collective goals are, what risks they are comfortable taking, and what their expectations of each other are. These matters determined, they can formulate a plan.

Since action situations are always unpredictable and plans rarely come off as anticipated, it may help to employ a dual approach to preparing. On the one hand, you can make plans for different scenarios: If A happens, we’ll inform each other by X means and switch to plan B; if X means of communication is impossible, we’ll reconvene at site Z at Q o’clock. On the other hand, you can put structures in place that will be useful even if what happens is unlike any of the scenarios you imagined. This could mean preparing resources (such as banners, medical supplies, or offensive equipment), dividing up internal roles (for example, scouting, communications, medic, media liaison), establishing communication systems (such as burner phones or coded phrases that can be shouted out to convey information securely), preparing general strategies (for keeping sight of one another in confusing environments, for example), charting emergency escape routes, or readying legal support in case anyone is arrested.

After an action, a shrewd affinity group will meet (if necessary, in a secure location without any electronics) to discuss what went well, what could have gone better, and what comes next.

Tact and Tactics

An affinity group answers to itself alone—this is one of its strengths. Affinity groups are not burdened by the procedural protocol of other organizations, the difficulties of reaching agreement with strangers, or the limitations of answering to a body not immediately involved in the action.

At the same time, just as the members of an affinity group strive for consensus with each other, each affinity group should strive for a similarly considerate relationship with other individuals and groups—or at least to complement others’ approaches, even if others do not recognize the value of this contribution. Ideally, most people should be glad of your affinity group’s participation or intervention in a situation, rather than resenting or fearing you. They should come to recognize the value of the affinity group model, and so to employ it themselves, after seeing it succeed and benefiting from that success.

Organize With Other Affinity Groups

An affinity group can work together with other affinity groups in what is sometimes called a cluster. The cluster formation enables a larger number of individuals to act with the same advantages a single affinity group has. If speed or security is called for, representatives of each group can meet ahead of time, rather than the entirety of all groups; if coordination is of the essence, the groups or representatives can arrange methods for communicating through the heat of the action. Over years of collaborating together, different affinity groups can come to know each other as well as they know themselves, becoming accordingly more comfortable and capable together.

When several clusters of affinity groups need to coordinate especially massive actions—before a big demonstration, for example—they can hold a spokescouncil meeting at which different affinity groups and clusters can inform one another (to whatever extent is wise) of their intentions. Spokescouncils rarely produce seamless unanimity, but they can apprise the participants of the various desires and perspectives that are at play. The independence and spontaneity that decentralization provides are usually our greatest advantages in combat with a better equipped adversary.

Bottomlining

For affinity groups and larger structures based on consensus and cooperation to function, it is essential that everyone involved be able to rely on each other to come through on commitments. When a plan is agreed upon, each individual in a group and each group in a cluster should choose one or more critical aspects of the preparation and execution of the plan and offer to bottomline them. Bottomlining the supplying of a resource or the completion of a project means guaranteeing that it will be accomplished somehow, no matter what. If you’re operating the legal hotline for your group during a demonstration, you owe it to them to make sure someone can handle it even if you get sick; if your group promises to provide the banners for an action, make sure they’re ready, even if that means staying up all night the night before because the rest of your affinity group couldn’t show up. Over time, you’ll learn how to handle crises and who you can count on in them—just as others will learn how much they can count on you.

Go Into Action

Stop wondering what’s going to happen, or why nothing’s happening. Get together with your friends and start deciding what will happen. Don’t go through life in passive spectator mode, waiting to be told what to do. Get in the habit of discussing what you want to see happen—and making those ideas reality.

Without a structure that encourages ideas to flow into action, without comrades with whom to brainstorm and barnstorm and build up momentum, you are likely to be paralyzed, cut off from much of your own potential; with them, your potential can be multiplied by ten, or ten thousand. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world,” Margaret Mead wrote: “it’s the only thing that ever has.” She was referring, whether she knew it or not, to affinity groups. If every individual in every action against the state and status quo participated as part of a tight-knit, dedicated affinity group, the revolution would be accomplished in a few short years.

An affinity group could be a sewing circle or a bicycle maintenance collective; it could come together for the purpose of providing a meal at an occupation or forcing a multinational corporation out of business through a carefully orchestrated program of sabotage. Affinity groups have planted and defended community gardens, built and occupied and burned down buildings, organized neighborhood childcare programs and wildcat strikes; individual affinity groups routinely initiate revolutions in the visual arts and popular music. Your favorite band was an affinity group. An affinity group invented the airplane. Another one maintains this website.

Let five people meet who are resolved to the lightning of action rather than the agony of survival—from that moment, despair ends and tactics begin.