#muster roll
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they should invent a me that isn't exhausted all the time
#not to be a debbie downer but i cannot remember the last time i did not feel utterly drained like right down to my core#even when i'm having fun i still feel just... emptied out#yesterday i crawled under my bed to get something and i couldn't muster the energy to crawl back out so i just lay under my bed for an hour#i really do feel like syphilis rolling his damn rock up the hill :-( goddamn!
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You know, I think Clark and Lex’s relationship really could have benefited from a safe word. Something either of them could have said to the other to communicate “your current line of inquiry is infringing on my privacy in a way I cannot elaborate on without further compromising my privacy, so I need you to redirect or drop it.”
#smallville#clark kent#lex luthor#clex#and their friendship still struggles for a while but with the help of clear boundary setting they muster through#and they come out the other side stronger than ever#eventually their friendship blossoms into a romance#they marry in the spring in a lovely outdoor ceremony in Smallville#several years later they have a beautiful baby boy named Conner#and one day Clark looks at Lex over the breakfast table and says you know I can’t remember the last time we had to use our safe word#Lex raises an eyebrow like you can’t remember last night?#and Clark rolls his eyes no the other safe word#Lex smiles (he knew that’s what Clark meant) and says 8 years 5 months and 12 days#and Clark smiles back because of course his husband would remember down to the day#but the conversation is interrupted by Conner toddling in wanting his daddies to play with him#and all was right with the world#(wow I just went on a journey there huh)
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Jim may be in the 43rd NY regiment....I'll continue to do research
#back on my bullshit with the morphine addicted doctor#his backstory is a mess but i'll figure it out#he's a vi corps man in my heart and i can't abandon that#so if i can't put him in an MA regiment I'll make him from NY then he moves to boston for his first practice#but the 43rd NY recruited mainly out of Albany and a few companies from NYC and some other places#and mostly i think i can swing him coming from a rich family in one of those two cities#reviewed wilderness and spotsylvania yesterday and today so he's on my brain unfortunately#i'm sorry everyone#i imprinted on a one off character from bonanza and i'm making it everyone else's problem#looking at the muster roll and seeing the regiments surgeon and asst. surgeon and Pretending I Don't See It
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I always smh at people who dub Jason as “whiny” “and therefore ooc” in tt 29. If you died and all everyone did was taint your legacy, and not a single person remembered you fondly or deemed you worthy of commemoration after your death, wouldn’t you be a bit upset too?
#the only thing that was ooc about Jason there was all the shit talking the other characters were doing about him.#and some of the things Jason said about himself because he left whatever small amounts of self esteem he actually had back in his grave#he was very cooperative shy and clever with the titans in the 80s#it’s not enough that his own father told him to his face that he is a product of his own problems#everyone he knew and had good working relationships with just completely shut him out and turned their backs#even if you don’t mean it/it’s more complicated than that#if someone you knew died but now you got a chance to tell them what you couldn’t wouldn’t you at least muster up an ‘I’m glad you’re back’#apparently not lol#kelseethe#it’s the fact that people label him *being upset* as ‘illogical’ or stupid that irks me#I was talking with a mutual about this too but#if a female character did exactly his actions#I don’t think people would be so quick to stomp all over her and call her weak/overbearing/hysterical#or to give her the dismissive patronizing eye roll treatment#even though they deemed her actions to be exaggerated/misdirected/an outburst by any standard#they’d probably say she’s written like an actual human and that she resonates with a lot of people haha#he evaded all their security systems and effectively took down anyone who was present in the tower.#I’d say his skills are pretty in-character.#the idea that men can get emotional is just not palatable to you people just admit it#if it isn’t silent brooding stoic manpain you people will projectile vomit all over it and call it ‘bad characterization’
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god i wish my meds would let me think if i could think right now i'd be making such juicy mrs kaidou x mrs saiki falling in love and making out fanfiction
#and kicking kuniharu out#very important that part#like ayumi figures out that kuniharu has been gaslighting kurumi and it all rolls out from there#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my brain is so smooth and wrinkle free right now i can't do it i can't muster it up
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just reblogs of my own art! Find me elsewhere
--
HADES FANCOMICS
🚦 First Flight
🥐 Taste of Life
– 📚 COMIC PDFS (free/pay what you want): https://ko-fi.com/lianabnana/shop
🖼 INPRNT: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/lianabnana/
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TWITTER - http://twitter.com/lianabnana IG - http://instagram.com/lianabnana/ WEBSITE - http://lianasposto.com
#I’ll clean this up in a bit#it’s Monday#Twitter my home is now a grungy X#the biggest eye roll & heaved sigh I can muster
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Winter Blues - Mega Man (Classic)
Chapter 1: Peaceful Mornings Never Last With a Little Brother
Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Fandoms: Rockman | Mega Man Classic, Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types Characters: Blues | Proto Man (Rockman Classic), Rockman | Mega Man (Rockman Classic), Roll (Rockman Classic), Dr. Light (Rockman Classic Universe) Additional Tags: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Winter, Snowball Fight, Siblings, Light Angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Summary: Blues used to spend winters crammed under rubble and worn down abandoned buildings, huddling with whatever little clothing he had to keep himself warm. His faulty core couldn't supply enough energy to his heating systems to properly keep him warm- not without draining too much of what little he had. So he would grit his teeth and bear the cold, each and every year it passed, never knowing which winter would be the last. Nowadays, his core no longer struggles to keep up with the high energy demand, and he's never lacking in E-Tanks when he needs one. Not to mention, he has a proper roof to live under and a place to call home, even if comes paired with two annoying (but lovable) little twin siblings. But still, the unpleasant memories of winters gone by don't do him any favors, so he isn't exactly eager to engage in the typical outdoor winter activities. Staying inside until the cold passes seems like a much more pleasant idea to him, thank you. Unfortunately for him, it seemed his little brother Rock had very different ideas of what counted as a proper use of their "precious" winter time. And Blues had stopped being able to say no to the twins a long time ago.
Read here on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46973668/chapters/118333699
#megaman#rockman#protoman#blues light#rock light#mega man fanfic#roll light#thomas light#mild hurt/comfort#fluff#winter#snowball fight#siblings#tooth-rotting fluff#reposting this again after the flag incident with my first ao3 work#hopefully i can muster the energy again to finish chapter 2#but please still read#and i hope you enjoy!#myart
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i havent had a srs trigun moment in 10000 yrs i feel like im withering away
#ive paused my reread indefinitely (literally <20 chs in)#bc i cant muster the strength to go thru that again rn😭😭#which is CRAZYY to me bc its like .. idk how 2 explain jt#trgn is definitely sad / versed in heavy themes but i dont feel like its overtly like .. upsetting yk#wherein its a pretty fast paced story and theres quite a bit of comedy & optimism scattered throughout#but its like .. ill think about a mildly sad moment for longer than the two seconds it appeared for#and then im like floating face down in a river#sinking into the mud and clay yk#HAIAHAH#anyways all that 2 say its been on my periphery but i want to be so immersed in it rn#i want to be rolling arnd in trigun meta and scs#googling how 2 emotionally disconnect frm a story w emotion-driven mc and story#i need 2 quit my job tbh. lets all join hands and quit our jobs and stop having responsibilities so we can have hobbies again❤️
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Every year I say I’m gonna take off work around Christmas and every year I thoughtlessly end up offering to cover for someone. Sigh.
#prince text#I’m kind of going through some burnout right now#I really want time off#so hitting burnout during the holidays where I offer to take on more work#lmao#tryin to muster up the gumption to ask for some time off in January for my bday#also I didn’t say thoughtlessly like a sef brag#I mean thoughtlessly bc I offer and don’t gauge my energy#it’s a bad thing lol#I wanna roll around and draw and relax
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tonight I wish to commemorate all the nicknames my cat has acquired. for context his name is Bunny.
dumbass (sorry the first one sounds mean but he really is such a himbo and this nickname is so old he recognizes it as His regardless of tone)
Little Bunny Foo Foo
Bunbee
Mother Bun
Mr Bun (evil)
Goofy Goober
Monkey
Chunky Monkey
Chunkus Monkus (latin)
Big Chungus (obviously)
Boomer (he's old)
Crybaby Bun
Biscuit Boy
Uncle Baby Bunny
#and you gotta say Mr Bun with the worst Boston accent you can muster#also if you know the origin of the Uncle Baby Bunny nickname i am kissing you on the mouth#anyway I'm excited to have my little guy living with me again#he is a howling roll of cling wrap and i love him so much#cat#Mary screams into the void
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okay this has been bugging me for a few days so im outsourcing to tumblr to see if anyone here has talked about it/is talking about it even though the book is a few years old. is there a consensus on morgan from bernardine evaristo’s girl woman other? ive been reading it for a class and it just screamed borderline transphobic character written by a well meaning cis author who has “concerns”. idk is there some 5d chess im missing? am i reading it too literally? whats the deal with it
#myposts#text of kin#girl woman other#doesnt rlly help that like no reviews ive seen really talk about it in depth beyond 'oh yeah and trans rep'#i wanna know whats going on there.#and like dont get me wrong the book is fine--very liberal and kinda annoying for that--but fine#just....i think it generally has the sense its doing things better than it is#the abusive relationship in dominiques chapter...fuckin. everything about yazz??#i struggle to see some of these stories as groundbreaking when theyre like playing into highly established shit in order to do so yk#the same w morgans chapter imo. really had to go to 'ive always hated pink and dolls!'#rather than. anything else#i guess it stands out the MOST with morgan just bc its so off base and so typical and so typically borderline transphobic that i can#immediately see and roll my eyes at it--same w dominiques chapter ig#just seems like....ticking off boxes on 'the right way' to do certain portrayals and then posing the most boring questions imaginable#about them so when i see such effusive praise for it i go kinda ???? like am I wrong??? maybe im crazy and it is done well#idk i suspect its so highly praised because its so liberal-friendly which is exactly why its so boring to me#i dont hate it. its fine. but like....just fine. i cant muster much enthusiasm#and what the FUCK. with morgan! thats my ultimate question here whats the deal whats the consensus
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25 Days of La Fayette: December 5th - John E. Hagey
(A short notice before we begin; I really enjoyed researching Hagey - although he drove me crazy once or twice. First of all, everybody spelled his name differently. While Hagey is the most common spelling, there is also Hague, Hagar, Haguy, Hagie and what not all.
I first came across Hagey when I stumbled over his entry in the databank of the Valley Forge Muster Rolls. The muster rolls describe him as an aide-de-camp and a member of La Fayette’s lifeguard. While some other men we have looked at thus far had only served for a very short time as La Fayette’s aide-de-camps, Hagey might have served the shortest – if at all. I thought I had a pretty clear picture of the man’s life and the life of his descendants until I found his application for a pension – that document was a wild ride.)
John E. Hagey was born in 1748 in Strasburg and died on July 13, 1841 in Nashville where he was laid to rest in the Nashville cemetery. His grave is marked with a headstone bearing a short summary of his long and eventful life:
The Nashville City Cemetery Association, Inc., Hagey, John E., Section 28.4, ID # 280352. (08/22/2022)
John E. Hagey
1748 – 1841
Born in Strasburg, Alsace, went to France 1777. Came
to America with Genera Lafayette. Chosen as a companion
and later a body guard for the General. Served in the
French Light Horse and became famous in the Battle
Of White Plains and the Siege of Yorktown and was dis-
charged at Newcastle, N. Y. Went to Harrisburg, Pa.
Became a U.S. Citizen. Married Catherine Ault. Migrated
to Greensboro, N.C. Moved to Knoxville, Tenn. and
then to Nashville where he lived the remainder of
his life. In 1825, his work took him to Huntsville, Ala.
for a short period. While there he learned his old
General was to visit Nashville. He walked over 100
Miles to see Gen. Lafayette 44 years after his dis-
charge. He was 77 at the time. Arrived at Nashville
while the parade was in progress. Placing himself
Properly as the General approached, Mr. Hagey
bowed before him. Arose and was recognized and
emotionally embraced by Lafayette. The crowd was
moved to tears. John Hagey was member of
McKendree M. E. Church. A devout Christian. He died
In the Faith July 13, 1841. Was given a military
funeral attended by 5000 people. Laid to rest
4 p.m. 7-14-1841.
Asleep in Jesus
The Nashville City Cemetery Association, Inc., Hagey, John E., Section 28.4, ID # 280352. (08/22/2022)
This marker was erected by Hagey’s great-great-great grandson Dwight Bennett. The homepage of the cemetery also mentions that the current marker is a replacement marker. It underwent restoration in 2008.
There are a few things I would like to mention concerning this stone. First, you see the spellings Catherine and Catharine equally often in official documents. For the sake of this post, I will go with the spelling that is inscribed on the marker. Second, I could not find any primary record of La Fayette and Hagey meeting again in Nashville. There is nothing in La Fayette’s correspondences nor in Auguste Levasseur’s journals. There are however a number of secondary sources mentioning and describing such a reunion.
John and Catherine had ten children, Mary (married Steven H. Cheek), Catherine (married Joseph Baker), Elizabeth (married Nicolas Becker), Susan (married Hiram W. Martin), John (never married), Sary (married James Nealy), Margaret (married Odle B. Thrift), Nancy (married John E. Wilson), George W. (never married) and Mariah (married “Jenkins”). It appears as if there were still some more children who sadly died young. The application for a pension mentions the name of the children listed above along with their spouses and ages. As, going from the given ages, some children have died prior to the pension application and some are still alive, these ages can not be linked to a certain date and are therefore rather unhelpful.
Some of John E. Hagey’s descendants however made quite a name for themselves and we find them and the family referenced in several, more local, history books. The following is written about the Reverend James Columbus Petrie:
The History of Union County, Kentucky, Courier Co., 1886, p. 848-850.
Then there is this piece about the Honourable William Brown of the firm Brown & Bruner, bankers from Metropolis in Illinois:
The Biographical Review of Johnson, Massac, Pope and Hardin Counties, Illinois, Chicago Biographical Publishing Co., 1893, p. 560-562.
All of these leads us to John E. Hagey’s application for a pension. His record has been transcribed and revised in 2015 and can be found along with many, many other pension records in various archives. The typed document is seven pages long, so while I will not include it in full, here is the link to the PDF document for everybody who wants to read it.
The record starts with a statement by Hagey himself, made on August 1, 1832 and then two affidavits. The first statement was made by Daniel McCoy (made on October 24, 1837) and the second statement was from Peter Jennings (also made on October 24, 1837). Next in the records is a letter from George W. Hagey from May 14, 1841 on behalf of his mother who was recently widowed and also an official statement from George, given on July 8, 1859. It follows an obituary for John E. Hagey, a letter form the Department of the Interior, dated November 2, 1859 and lastly an official document from the Senate of the United States.
Hagey’s claim for a pension was initially denied in 1832 because it was concluded that he was part of the French troops and not a regular member of the Continental Army. He was therefore not entitled to a pension from the United States. After his death in 1841, his widow Catherine (who lived to the ripe age of 106) applied for a widow’s pension and was in the end denied as well and on the same terms.
To make matters short, Hagey’s statements contradict with themselves and with the history of both La Fayette’s life and the American War of Independence. He claims to have been with La Fayette in places where La Fayette had not been at the stated date, he claimed to have been with La Fayette when he had been wounded – in a battle that the Marquis actually never participated in and so on and so forth. While some of these discrepancies can be attributed to old age and a failing memory (La Fayette himself confused some events from the War for Independence during his tour in 1824/25), others are a bit more confusing.
The whole application can be summoned up by this report, written by J. Thompson, Secretary in the Department of the Interior on November 2, 1859:
Sir [Hon. George C. Whiting, Comm’r. of Pensions],
I have carefully considered the claim of Catharine Hagie, widow of John Hagie, for bounty land under Act of March 3d 1855, &c, and also for pension under Acts of June 7th 1832, and July 7th 1838,upon which an appeal has been taken from your decision.
The soldier in the application he made in 1832 declares that he came over to this country with La Fayette, as a volunteer to assist the Americans in the Revolutionary war, and that he served as a private in the regiment of Light Horse under Col. Polorotski and Capt. Escaline, to the end of the war. His claim under the Act of June 7th 1832 was rejected, and since his death the widow has renewed it, and asserted in her own behalf her title to bounty-land and pension.
To justify the allowance of either of the claims for pension it is necessary that the soldier should have “served in the Continental line or State troops, volunteers or militia,” And to obtain bounty-land under the Act of 1855, that he should have been regularly mustered or paid by the United States.
His own statement shows that he could have come under neither of these conditions, for he served (if, indeed, he rendered any service) in the French Troops, and was paid by the King of France.
I am of the opinion, therefore, that these claims are bad, and accordingly affirm your rejection of them.
The papers which accompanied your report are herewith returned to your office.
I am, very respectfully,/ Your Obd’t. Serv’t.. J. Thompson, Secretary
Interesting, is it not? I started this research by think that John E. Hagey was, maybe only for a very, very short period of time, one of General La Fayette’s aide-de-camps and otherwise served as a lifeguard – a fascinating aspect of army life in and on itself and one that I have never really looked into. There were quite some interesting sources relating to Hagey and his case seemed to be a very simple one at first. Now, at the end of this post however, I am no longer entirely sure if Hagey truly served under La Fayette in the way that he had stated. I do believe however that he had been acquainted with La Fayette one way or another.
Opinions anybody?
#marquis de lafayette#la fayette#24 days of la fayette#lafayette's aide-de-camps#french history#american history#american revolution#letter#history#john e hagey#muster rolls of valley forge#nashville#j. thompson#1748#1841#1832#1837#1859#george w. hagey#catherine hagey#tour of 1824 1825#farewell tour
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also to all the people who have sent me asks that I haven’t answered yet I’m sorry I don’t have an explanation my brain is just soup
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youtube
This scene. Forever on the brain. I love you nami i love you luffy i love you one piece
#i wanna see a video essay on this style. where the tension isnt ‘can the protagonist beat the challenge’#but instead like. ‘can you muster up the courage to cast everything aside and be brave.’#i love it so much. one piece is all about unspoken love#the ‘of course i love you. ive been by your side the whole time waiting for your word that its ok for me to act’#i think later one piece has fallen away from it but theres some good scenes#corazon is a good example. i also loved in amazon lily#when boa gives luffy the choice between meeting his crew again or saving the lives of the gorgon sisters#and luffy bows so deeply that his hat rolls off his head and hes like ‘thank god. that means youll save those 2 right?’#like luffys one dream of being the pirate king. that he never shuts up about and he’s been obsessed with since a young age#he’d throw it away in a heartbeat if it meant ruining the lives of 2 people. its not even a question for him
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truely am still okay and things are okay. just. mannnn. 'i dont know all the things [about transgender topics] i dont know what am or am not supposed so say to people' says person who outed me who in turn, only knows cause i got outed to them. i know you know thats not true.
#some shit#please use the most deadpan tone u can muster.#i HAVENT the wearwithall to. generally touch the why of it all but. it was certainly an impressive lie#said person is... (eyes rolling to heaven) a managed... presence....#i just factually cannot and do not expect more of them on ANYTHING more emotionally deep than. no ive come up blank.#There are ppl in this world you can converse with and help and help you in turn but there also. never gonna..... yeah well you get it#DEBATING. on the posting of thissss. full piles mode okay? piles of good and bad. THE GOOD PILE. IS ALSO pretty big of late#[world weary two cakes voice] TWO PILES#anyway please. enjoy with me the. extremely rye humour. of how thin the statement is. that is all. the cis audacity. if you will.
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