#must-try-harder

[i-think-2-loud]

need jeremy with one of those remote controlled plugs and jean sitting next to him in his boring little business class driving jeremy absolutely wild with it

[delicatepointofview]

i mean this kindly but you guys need to learn to ignore trolls and insensitive people in general

[lovesickeros]

☆ from gold, i am undone

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, implied self harm, implied suicide attempts {☆} word count 0.9k

You weren't meant to be here.

You can feel it in the marrow of your bones– it weighs you down like heavy shackles, gold bleeding from your pores until it is all you know. The taste of ichor on your tongue, the warmth of its invasion beneath your skin, that gleam of gold that lingers in the color of your eyes like specks of dust.

You are changed, and you are whole.

But you are so unbearably broken.

A shattered piece of porcelain hastily put back together with gold to fill the cracks.

Decoration, in the end, for you are not fit to walk as "mortals" do. This gold had filled every empty crevice of your body, spilled the red into your frantic hands and made you bleed so it's callous gold could make room inside your body. It has taken from you many things, given many more, but you scratch and bite and tear until it drips onto the floor and even then it never leaves. It stains the floor no matter how hard you scrub– a permanent reminder of the sickening gold that molds you into something that used to look like you– that does look like you. Desecrated, yet so horribly divine.

All you see is a monster.

Something new, something old.

A hollowed out shell, wounds left to rot and fester until you suited the image of the Creator they bore upon statues and murals, the Creator worshiped in prayers spoken in hushed whispers and joyous chants praising your magnificence.

But what magnificence is there in detachment? What joy is there to be found in carving a God out of a human? They kneel like lambs before the shepherd, but the flock has made you– and you want to unmake them. Unweave the tapestry of their being stitch by stitch until it all falls apart and the world knows the cost of casting molten gold into the shape of a human, knows the price that has been left unpaid.

You want to take it from them. Watch them squabble and pray, blind sheep stepping into the wolf's open maw– to tear the seams of their being until the world is unwound by your heavy hands.

But you know it will not satisfy you.

Nothing does anymore.

You are no wolf. Only the shepherd who guides.

And with every drop of blood spilled, they ripped the humanity from your very bones until your body was the cast in which they made something anew– something gold, something horrific. A monster as much a God, a beast as much a man.

There is nothing left but absolute authority.

You try again and again to mend this act of desecration, to peel back the outer shell and rend the gold from your marrow– but your body cannot, will not, die. It mends itself back into place no matter how damaged, and all you feel is the uncomfortable tug of your body forcing itself to live. You cannot die, but were you ever truly alive at all?

Yet with every cycle, you know only one constant besides the thrum of golden ichor in your veins– cold.

Ice that burns, ice that spreads and festers and devours. Claws that pull you apart until the gold runs thick, teeth that burrow into your bones and rip it out from the source..eyes that witness the fall of a God with reverence– hungering, all consuming reverence.

You welcome it.

It is the first time you felt pain since you were cast into an image of a being you were not meant to be. The sting of cold upon your skin makes you shiver, your body tries to reject it, but you want to welcome it– for a brief moment that lasts only as long as it takes for you to blink, you see the glint of something familiar in the reflection of her empty eyes. Something achingly, horribly familiar– something human, all the more terrifying for it.

Even when Teyvat itself crumples like paper beneath the weight of her sins – of this desecration anew, this wretched heresy – you allow her hands to do it again. You grasp her hands in yours like chains, willing her to shackle you, willing her to pull you apart and make you whole again. To break you until the gold cannot put you back together again.

You long, each time, for those eyes like spears that lodge into your skin– burrow deep and sting deeper, making gold flow like water. You long for the biting tongue, the cutting words and those teeth like weapons– long to see the spite and anger and impure disgust aimed at the woman of silver who leads you down a hall that ends only in damnation. You follow each time like the lamb led astray by the wolf, but you do not wail in betrayal when she sinks her teeth into your throat and devours you whole.

For is it a sin if you welcome it? Has their God sinned, in the eyes of the flock, for welcoming such heresy with open arms? For allowing the wolf into their home?

Is it a sin to be broken beneath the only hands that have loved you?

Is it a sin to want to love, too, those hands and teeth stained in gold?

Then you shall be damned, you swear it. Damned, but gold no more.

For death is the closest you have ever felt to being human.

[morocosmos]

💙💚💙💚 It is his nameday today (21/04) 💙💚💙💚

[crow-caller]

A book i clearly really really gotta read is Modelland by Tyra Banks, but honestly it is extremely intimidating. Listening to 372 pages talk and read it makes it seem like a surrealist campy body horror masterpiece. Well. Not masterpiece as in quality, but it's so off the walls bonkers I don't know how i could tackle it.

Its just bizarre, full of these teen girls being tortured by over the top 'tests' and monstrosities. Coherence is secondary, but I'm not sure what is primary.

[dea-thynote]

Death note au where L transfers to daikoku academy in undercover to catch kira, and light yagami is not one of his suspects. The reason being this kira is too reckless and relentless, there is no rhyme or reason why they kill, they just do. This also means they leave more trail to where they are, but also puts more pressure to the police since so many people are dying randomly, and the broadcast confrontation L did just solidified the theory this kira is in Japan. Since this kira doesn't really have any connections with the Japanese police they never knew that they've already narrowed it down to kira being a student. With this, they then narrowed it down to daikoku private academy in which L coincidentally becomes classmates with Light. And Light hates him.

(Don't mind this, I just need to draw it first to put it into words, but yeah, this is the idea?)

Light's first impression of him was that he was certainly unique (read: weird). This guy suddenly transfers to the academy when it's the last term of their third year. Sits crouching in his seat and his legs tucked to his chest and starts eating sweets in his table. He doesn't even talk to anyone unless it was to creep or interrogate them, and just looks at other people. He once saw him standing and observing an entirely different section. It was annoying, and he could barely suppress his annoyance to the whole situation. So he ignores the transfer and waits for the teachers to reprimand the transfer themselves. It doesn't take while for the teachers to notice the transfer doing these.

"RYUGA!" the teacher shouts. The transfer pauses with what he was doing. "Can you answer the question from the board?" The transfer barely glances to the board before saying the answer. This doesn't satisfy the teacher however, and asked him random mathematical questions, some which light knows haven't been taught, and the transfer, once again, answers them perfectly.

Light is surprised. And only caught himself staring when he saw ryuga is staring at him back. The teacher moves on and asks light to answer, which he answers correctly. The teacher started complimenting him, and how that's how a student should be. Light just sits down again, and sees ryuga's attention somewhere else. (He doesn't know why, but slightly pissed him off. But he ignores him, better not associate himself with him)..

Is what he would say, if the teachers didn't just unanimously agreed that the transfer needed to be seated near light so that ryuga could learn from him. (Read: let light deal with the transfer, and any to no improvement of his behaviour would be blamed to him instead). So he tries to talk to ryuga, only to be met with short or cut out answers and sarcasm.

But then the open debate happened. With the news about kira, a mass murderer with no morals or reason, the philosophy teacher decided it would be a great topic to debate on. Which L was on the side of kira and light against kira. (Idk, maybe they argue the world is too overpopulated and lacking resources to provide for basic needs, and something about programs and also murder shouldn't be the solution and the fact that lives are being killed for no reason) and after the debate (which lasted the whole time for the subject, the debate ended in a draw and none of the teams are happy) light became intrigued with ryuga. He made points he could barely argue with, without directing it to another topic, and how he manages to sometimes take over the conversation by twisting his words to something else. Light is annoyed. And intrigued. But before he could even congratulate him, he just ignores him and walks over to the other section!

(Lmao, I just imagine light fascinated but also hates L, but gets jealous because he seems more fascinated with the other people in other sections. While L ignores light because, although he is also as fascinated with him, he's not a priority considering he needs to catch kira).

[taibobo]

just calculated my current finances after my car insurance came out... ONE MUST IMAGINE SISYPHUS (FREELANCE ARTIST) HAPPY

[asgardian--angels]

things I wish I could relive for the first time again:

that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.

because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.

like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

estrogen would have saved boss FGA . You know what being able to be openly queer would have saved her

[seanconneraille]

stop shipping characters. it is unsafe. once you start shipping characters you get too attached to them and what happens when they get merch??? are you telling me you're going to buy just one half of the ship??? what are a you??? a heartless monster????? you think that keychain will be happy if you don't buy its soulmate????? stop shipping characters.

[jellyvibes710]

Ohmigoshohmigosh

GUYS LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND

Hdikabwunej????!!!! I noticed that a panel in the most recent part is missing B U T

This is so amazing!!! SUPERMAY!! Thank you so much for adding the link to my tumbler and credit!!! you did an amazing job and your English is so good!!

I don't even know what to say?? Just

EEEEEEEE

[beastiaried]

Making davrin 6'5" and shredded so that everyone's muse has to do this:

[dunadaan]

The curse of trying to make dúnedain men is trying to make “tall, dark haired, grey eyed” look uniquely different without being mistaken for each other

[jrueships]

guess whos not going in at all this week, actually

[artekai]

Those are her vibes

[silviakundera]

Haha I also used the dickless bore. I thought that only the two main characters came back didn't know he did as well. I still don't buy him ever being into her but that's just me I do wonder if he's going to try and kill her again. I do think Li Rong is treating him too well for my liking she should at least treat hit similarly or worse than she treated ML I want to see wet paper towel non stop suffer.

on one hand, imo a SRQ who is heartless doesn't work for the story the writer is trying to share with us. On the other hand, it's totally ok to decide to be a full-time hater towards a minor character, just because it's fun. I support haters! 🎉 \o/ 🎉

One thing that I think is relevant when comparing LR's reactions: if PWX had killed her, the motive would have been as part of his mission to have his childhood love Qin Zhenzhen's son become the next emperor. (Remember, he came over to threaten her life over that right before she died and called his ex Zhenzhen lmao) THE AUDACITY. In contrast, LR is viewing her murder at SRQ's hands as part of the revenge plan for the Su family's execution.

Some passages of Li Rong's POV:

After a few moments, she whispered: “Where did the scent on you come from?”

“If I say it, you might be upset.” Pei Wenxuan’s eyes had a hint of gloating at others’ pain.

Li Rong thought for a while and frowned, “Su Rongqing?”

“Yes.”

...Li Rong said nothing. She blankly stared into the fire.

Pei Wenxuan turned the fish over and looked at her with a smile, seemingly quite happy. Li Rong found that he had a fearless, unabashed look of enjoying a good play and couldn’t help but be a little fazed.

She believed everything Pei Wenxuan said.

---

Su Rongqing was someone that she saved with her own hands.

That year, Prince Su rebelled, and Su Rongqing’s elder brother spoke up for Prince Su. Later on, he was falsely accused of colluding with Prince Su, implicating the Su clan with treason.

At that time, Li Chuan was so furious that he fainted. He put the entire Su clan in prison without going through the Joint Trial of Three Divisions first and put the men to death and the women into exile. She disagreed with this decision and rushed to beg Li Chuan before the Su clan received their sentence. After being subjected to ten planks, with Pei Wenxuan’s intervention, she was finally able to ask for amnesty for the Su clan.

Even if the death sentences can be forgone, it was impossible to escape punishment while still alive. Even though the men of the Su clan could live, they would be subjected to castration. The others couldn’t bear the humiliation, so they all committed suicide in prison. When she arrived, there was only one man “desperate for life and afraid of death” left among the men of the Su clan, Su Rongqing.

At that time, she had told Su Rongqing that she saved him without the intention of asking him to repay her. She could give him silver and a position, so that he could continue to live a good life in the future.

Back then, she didn’t have any special feelings towards Su Rongqing. It was just that he had saved her before, so after he took care of her, bit by bit, she felt grateful, and…vague sentiments towards him.

For the most part, she sought to save the Su clan for Li Chuan and her own conscience. The Su clan was a prominent, noble family. It was difficult for her to sit back and watch if they died in such an ambiguous manner.

At that time, Su Rongqing refused to go.

...It wasn’t that she had never thought that Su Rongqing would not take revenge on her. After all, it was Li Chuan who ordered all the men of the Su clan to be beheaded and exiled all the female family members. It was impossible for anyone to forget this blood feud, let alone the formerly first and most outstanding gongzi of that year?

For so many years, she had never dared to give him real authority, observing him and guarding against him while still trying to help him live a better life. She couldn’t actually kill him because of her own conscience, but she couldn’t actually trust him and give him power.

In the end, he still decided to act. He killed her first, then successfully took her authority in the name of eliminating Pei Wenxuan. If she guessed correctly, he would not leave with the advisors. Instead, he would borrow the excuse of taking revenge for her and enforcing the will of the people to join forces with the Empress, assist Li Xin in ascension, and fight to the death against the remnants of Pei Wenxuan’s faction.

...

She had anticipated this possibility from the moment she took Su Rongqing in, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit regretful when it actually happened.