#mushrooms .. and flowers … and many morbid things

[emmriches]

alistair i’m scared of my wife theirin

[undead-merman]

Man-eating monster Eden with GN-Reader NSFW

Beware

The hunters always warned their children of the forest. Not because of the wolves, strange plants, or other things, but because there was a dark and disturbed creature who lived deep within. 

It sometimes felt like they were exaggerating with how morbid they made their tales. Yet when they heard those noises in the tree line. An uncanny mix of human and animalistic. Everyone ran when they heard the calls of the man-eater. 

Yet grim tales couldn’t stop you. At least, they could have, but you simply didn’t have a choice. Collection day was coming and you were short. You weren’t going to suffer another punishment like that again. The memories still give you nightmares even to this day. Not again, never again. 

So you grab your basket and head inside. You’ve been in here often enough, you know some of the trails and know where the wolves have their hunting grounds. 

Confrontation

It was peaceful for a time. The trails were open and a pleasure to walk through. Lady luck even blessed you to see some of her more innocent creatures like many songbirds, a mother doe shielding her child from the rain, and even in the deeper parts plant folk were weaving flower crowns and gifting them to each other. 

Yet none of the normal plants were ready to be harvested. Picked clean before you could get your hands on them. 

So you dared to venture deeper. Slow and steady so as to not attract too much attention to yourself as the forest became wild, tangled, and even darker. Everything inside you was telling you to turn back but what Bailey might have had planned scared you more. 

You spotted some strange claw marks in the bark of some trees, bullet casings, and even deep stains around mushroom circles. Yet the yield from your gathering was satisfactory enough for you to turn back. 

And just as you turned you saw a beast. Back hunched while looking down at you while its arms hung far too low on his body, multiple near-black eyes focused right on you, and as it came closer a pair of mandibles split from his face, causing his humanoid face to have two sets of jaws and show nothing but his horrible teeth. 

And even with its monstrous features it still stood like a man, dressed like one, and even carried a gun, as if it needed it. 

Trying to run doesn't help as he slams his hand against you and knocks you to the floor. Slowly moving his body to tower over yours. You could only gasp for the breath that was knocked out of you as this mock humanoid, this wolf in sheep's clothing just looked at you. His hunter's coat swayed slightly as the wind changed. 

Struggling got you nowhere and biting didn't bother it at all, it's flesh thick like rubber. 

The monster didn't have to speak as it dropped its hunting rifle. You knew it was the end for you. 

Last Ditch Effort

But with reason out the window and your primal instincts telling you to do anything, anything to survive. 

So you spread your legs. 

The monster froze and stared down at your legs and nervously gave a wiggle trying to entice it, even while your whole body was trembling and on fire. 

His free hand shifted and took off his pants to reveal a human cock starting to chub. 

He moved and pressed his cock against your spread legs and started humping. It was slow and gentle, testing the waters perhaps. His cock grows harder and harder each time and warm precum starts to soak into your clothes. The cloth is warm and sticks to you unpleasantly. 

It wasn’t long before this man-eater pulled it off you like it was made of tissue paper. It exposed your genitals to the semi-cool air of the deep forest and fading sun. He took a minute to admire them. Even if you didn’t dress as gender norms would like to dictate, he took it in stride. 

Saliva dripped from his sharp teeth as he marveled over it and placed his split face between them, ignoring your fearful flinching as he clasped down and took you into his mouth running his tongue over the most sensitive parts of your body. His jaws refuse to let you squirm away from the twisted pleasure. 

The teeth pressing into your skin are gentle, not too forceful and you can only think it was because you presented yourself to him. You don’t even want to imagine what could have been while those teeth were still on you. His tongue then slithers into your hole and wriggles around driving every single nerve you had into overdrive, your head fuzzy with adrenaline. 

You shamefully cum, cum the hardest you have in your entire life as your hips uncontrollably lift into that mouth, the teeth piercing into your skin with sudden force, and he pulled away, so much saliva stringing from you and his mouth. 

But his cock pressed against your hole, your sloppy and twitch hole was opened just enough for him, and with a single brutal thrust he was inside. You could feel his heartbeat from his cock and its size was stretching you so much, yet it wasn’t painful somehow. You felt like bursting yet there was no burn or sting. He didn’t let you linger on that for too long. 

His fat balls slapped against your skin as he buried himself into your gut, almost chuffing with delight at your face and whiny moans and only getting rougher with each snap of his hips. 

You came again still not coming down from the first orgasm. But now he was focused on his own. Pounding into you hard enough you swear your stomach was bulging. You could feel just how hot his semen was as he spilled so much inside. That feeling of fullness was nothing compared to this. You could feel his cock bulge and twitch with how much shot inside and when he pulled out, it shot out of you. So much, so much. 

His mandibles folded back against his face and the skin smoothed so he looked almost perfectly human. Almost. And he began to tie you up tightly. A meal that turned into a spouse. 

[mor-beck-more-problems]

When Death Comes || Morgan & Deirdre

TIMING: Before the mushrooming

LOCATION: Hambry Park

PARTIES: @deathduty, @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Morgan wants something more from her death.

CONTAINS: discussions of death and dying, soft goth girlfriends

“...When it’s over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real.” Morgan punctuated each line break in the poem she read with a kiss to Deirdre’s spine, climbing up the vertebrae, colored auric and purple-shadow by the golden hour, until she was mouthing the final lines into the nape of her neck: “I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” The poem finished, Morgan set the book aside and wrapped herself around her love’s body, pressing in until they tumbled sideways onto the blankets and pillows they’d spread over the grass. “It’s your turn, my love.” Morgan said. “How do you feel about reading with a zombie on top of you? While also eating pie? You still have your slice, you know.” As she spoke, Morgan finagled their bodies so she was resting against Deirdre the way she liked best, tucked against her side with her face cradled between her neck and the gentle slope of her chest.

Hambry Park was gilded all around them by evening light. Even the most weathered angel monument or the most moss ridden death’s head icon turned lively in the glow. Red wildflowers, weary from a day’s worth of swaying with ghosts, folded down to brush their petal cheeks against the earth that held the dead. Morgan pressed a finger into the ground with them, wondering not for the first time what it would be like to be held that way too. “I wonder who designed these things,” she said, thinking out loud more than anything else. “Like, did the person who died say they wanted cherubs, or a bible verse, or a cute little flying death head? Or was it their family? Or some funerary designer? They’re so beautiful, and they’re all a little different, right?”

There was some measure of amazement in hearing the same words said a dozen times, not tiring of them. How many times had Deirdre heard that poem exactly? And yet, it was always a treasure to hear it said again by Morgan’s tongue---as though she might have been reciting scripture from her heart instead of a poem from another’s. The poem ended (too soon, always too soon) and they tumbled away, bubbling laughter erupting from Deirdre’s grinning mouth. “As if I’d want it any other way.” Her fingers tangled into Morgan’s hair, playing absently with the strands as she reached out for the book (the picnic basket with the pie was too far, and she would never dare have them separate, even for a second). Thumbing through the pages with one hand in search of the right poem to recite, was no easy task. She had to thank the flimsy paperback for being flexible to her stubbornness, but in the time it took her to flip the pages, a breeze rolled over their picnic and claimed all of Deirdre’s progress in navigating the book. “Hm?” She abandoned her search in favor of tossing the book down to air her irritation with the wind. “You mean the graves?” Deirdre couldn’t quite make them out from her angle, but she’d been to Hambry enough to have the scenery memorized.

“Depends. Some people plan these out; funerals can be expensive, and picking out and saving for a headstone can be a weight you alleviate later on. Some people never think to decide, and so the family might pick through catalogues and displays--fighting over what Bible verse they think suits grandma better. Some people are...even less fortunate than that. But Hambry is on the nicer end, and anyone buried here undoubtedly had money, so it wouldn’t even surprise me if the headstones are custom pieces.” Another gust swept over them and the book flopped out of reach. The poems were a lost cause now. Deirdre sighed. “Why do you ask? Thinking of buying a headstone?”

“I know all that,” Morgan sighed, pulling down the ends of Deirdre’s hair and starting to arrange them in a loose eight strand braid. “When it was time to bury my mom, she had everything set out, like a really...awful, morbid, pop-up book. With lots of fees and fines. I opened the lid of the storage box she’d shoved everything into and a brochure literally flew out at me. And then they didn’t make the coffin she’d picked out anymore, so I had to pick out another one almost at random.” She smirked sadly at the memory. “But I wondered if things might’ve been different back in--” Morgan squinted at one of the gravestones she could see from her place. “19-0--something.” She kissed her love’s clavicle and wrapped them tighter together. “Maybe I do want one, though,” she shrugged, as if she were thinking about getting a new dress. “I mean, that would be kind of ridiculous, because where would it go, right? And then a whole plot of land doing nothing, just being there? But, I don’t know… I mean, a girl should get to have something for dying and mostly coming back.” Even flowers could be dried or pressed to commemorate what they offered to the world. Even the dead remains they’d burned in the woods had ash and bone that now lay comfortably at the bottom of Dark Score Lake. Animals, at least, had bones to leave behind and flesh to be devoured or return to the earth that had helped feed them. Her death didn’t even make the paper; it couldn’t. And if anything happened to her permanently, who was to say her remains wouldn’t become goo in a few days? Morgan bristled at the thought. It wasn’t even her dead self she wanted to lay in the ground; she had made it far enough out of the pit to not long for that anymore. But she wanted something. “It doesn’t feel right that everything I used to be has to be invisible, or written over. Does that make any sense?”

Deirdre’s brow quirked up, silently asking why, then, Morgan was wondering about it. She didn’t have to wait long for her curiosity to be answered. “It could go anywhere you wanted it to, my love.” Deirdre paused her brushing of Morgan’s hair, considering it. Morgan had died, and she had lost parts of herself, but it never felt that way to Deirdre. What was there to bury but memories--and those could always be carried just fine in the heart. But she knew Morgan missed herself; missed her magic and her heartbeat and the ways she connected to the world--now forever changed. Deirdre sat up slowly, not wanting to push Morgan off her chest but wanting to look at her a little better as they spoke. She reached a happy medium of propping herself up on her elbows, half-raised. “I wouldn’t say it’s invisible, or written over. They’re still a part of you; in my mind, at least.” She stared out at the rows of gravestones and statues, claimed by nature. “You never did get to have a funeral. You could always have some memorial, some way to remember yourself as you did--or put those parts to rest. If that’s what you want.” Deirdre pushed herself up to sit properly now, urging Morgan back in her arms so she could hold her tight. “...is that what you want?”

“Only a few people even know I died at all, I think that counts as pretty invisible,” Morgan said. Of course, some part of her had always been partly a secret and always would be. But for some reason, hiding her death seemed even worse than her species. Even nobodies got obituaries, or a funeral director to process their body and give it one last look before burning up into ash. Even the supernaturals who were not more than parts in that storage units had her, Lydia, and Deirdre to watch them, to try and carry their pain. “I had to tell everyone at work there was a death in the family, and then make up some distant cousin, because everyone already knew I didn’t have any family. I didn’t even bring home all the bereavement cards. And I’m never going to be--” She swallowed, voice growing thick, and sat up with Deirdre. She crawled into her arms as she beckoned, nuzzling her way into her grasp and finding the right place for her arms so she could squeeze her tight or rest almost effortlessly if she wanted. “I’m never going to be just the way I was. I’m never gonna warm you up, or make anything beautiful just by willing it. Or enjoy fish tacos. I don’t know if I’ll ever have patience or belief or hope like I used to. You love me the same, maybe even more, but I’m different. And I-- want a place for that...stuff. That missing stuff that just belonged to Alive-Me.”

Deirdre looked back at the gravestones, overtaken by nature, forgotten by time--pillars of memory. She knew enough lonely ghosts to fill her own obituary. She’d seen enough deaths that would remain unanswered to know the great tragedy of one gone unmourned. But it didn’t work in black and white. The gravestones were relics practically, if there existed a soul who cared about the names written on them, they hadn’t visited. The ghosts thought it worse that the flowers left at their grave slowly dwindled over the years, just as the memory of them faded. And every loss was mourned, even if the person they were mourning wasn’t dead. Death was both never invisible and always, but she knew that wasn’t Morgan’s point. “Where would you put her? Your alive-self. Where would you bury her?” Deirdre longed to tell Morgan that she still warmed her, that she always made beauty, that her hope hadn’t left at all---but refrained. Morgan would always miss herself, how could she not? It didn’t matter how perfect Deirdre thought Morgan was, it wouldn’t bring anything back. And it wouldn’t stop Morgan’s rightfully deserved mourning. “Would you want a ceremony? We could do something...whatever you want. We could burn everything, bury it, I can buy you a plot of land and the best headstone any cemetery has ever seen. Tell me what you want it to be like.”

Morgan gave a wet laugh and squeezed Deirdre tight. She wasn’t sure why having Deirdre’s support, her tender questions and touches struck her with the kind of gentleness that melted and stung. “Oh. Um--I didn’t think that far. Well, not realistically. I thought, alive me liked those dates at the beach we had, so maybe I should put something in the sand or float it off to sea. Or she could go in the back yard, in the flower beds, and she could pretend like she was helping to grow the flowers Moira likes to play in. Or, um, gee, if I actually left behind a body, I’d get to have the fun debate of whether to get buried in Texas or get buried here. And, maybe my bereaved girlfriend would get me one of those big fancy statues goth kids take pictures under, but like, more pagan, because judgey angels aren’t really my thing, or our thing. Or maybe there would be a pyre, like we had in the forest, and someone could say...here burns the Morgan that was. She made crystals out of dirt and trash and sold them for tens and hundreds of dollars on Etsy. She cried over dead deer, and the cats that spent their lives in animal shelters, and the parts in Grey’s Anatomy where they saved lives in the nick of time, and sometimes herself, because no one else would. And um…” Morgan shrugged, laughing now in the kind of way that hid tears. “...For a while her only real friend was her cat Anya, but she came to...stupid, probably-cursed White Crest, Maine and almost made everything different for the better. She had friends, and roommates, and a job she didn’t hate, and big, dramatic love, and there were even days when her magic was actually good for helping people. She believed, more than anything, that she could make things different. That she...had a better life, just around the corner. And it never felt closer to it than when she…” Morgan pulled away to scrub her hands over her eyes, breathing tenuously through the sobs that wanted to break through her chest. “She had so much hope, she died thinking she could say ‘I love you’ one more time, even though her lungs were probably filling up with blood. It was so stupid, but she really...thought she could…” She tried breathing again, but the sobs she was holding in broke and she couldn’t make herself say any more.

Deirdre reached for Morgan again, anchoring her back as she pulled away. She wrapped her arms around her; tight, secure, as if she knew nothing else. Hearing Morgan's sobs rack her undead body, spurring to life dead lungs, and a eulogy spoken with shattering honesty, Deirdre made poor work of trying not to cry. For all the love she held, she could not take this pain away. But she kissed her like she could, pressing her lips to every exposed inch of skin she could reach—urgent, rough and desperate.  Between each breath she spilled was an unspoken declaration of love, and ending each quivering sob was one of devotion. She gathered herself together just enough to speak. "Texas, obviously. Your family is there. I'd fly every one of our friends out to see you there if I had to. And I'd get a monument here too; I don't know why you'd have to be remembered in just one place. I obviously deliver a eulogy that makes everyone cry—I'd tell them all about how amazing you are, how much love you put into the world, how strong-willed, how you fight even when you don't have a fighting chance, and how brave you are. How unfathomably brave.” Deirdre sniffled, memories of Morgan’s death surged through her mind. She could remember where the rod was, which parts of Morgan hadn’t been stained by blood, the way her legs bent. “I’d tell everyone how much I love you. How much I’ll always love you. And how lucky I am, to have been loved by you too---how lucky I am right now.” She leaned down to kiss her again, whining as her lungs burned and forced them apart. “But you’re here, Morgan. You’re here and you get to decide how you want to remember yourself, how you want others to. And you get to say ‘I love you’ as many times as you want now.” She breathed out, trying to calm her rapid heart, which was only trying to adjust for the way her stiff body resisted crying more than she already did. “What do you want to do right now? We could...have a mini-ceremony...for now. Anything. Whatever you need.”  

It was almost a relief to hear Deirdre cry. The last time Morgan had declared how dead she was, Deirdre had been too intent on holding her together to cry for any of it. But there was an ache to the words she gave, to the way she fastened her against her body. Maybe Deirdre didn’t miss Morgan the way she missed herself, but she hurt for her, cried for her, and still carried a wound from that awful day. Morgan imagined that their hurt throbbed in synchronous harmony, that something was missed together, even if they felt it differently. Morgan didn’t know the word for it, she could only think of it as a kind of magic, two disparate parts brought into the same vibration and bound closer until they looked like one. As Deirdre held her, there was no rush of cold, no illusion of being submerged into her deathly calm. But there was still the weight of her, steady as gravity, keeping her fastened to the earth, to the life she still reached for, no matter how far away it drifted. Morgan pressed back into her, filling her hands with as much of Deirdre as she could fit.

She could imagine everything Deirdre said so perfectly, that even if she’d stayed sleeping and broken, Deirdre would have done everything for her. She would have found out where her family was, she would have brought her down to be with her family and made a place where they could be together. Even if she had stayed dead, there would have been a way to stay close to her. She turned to look at her love as she heard her cry, and stoked back her tears. “I love you,” she stammered, gasping through cries of her own. “I love you, Deirdre. I love you so much.” She sniffled. “Even if I hadn’t pulled myself together this much, it’s pretty good, to be able to tell you. That I--” Another sob heaved out of her and she hid herself back against Deirdre’s body, aching for the soothing wave of cold being this close used to give her. “Breathe, okay? Breathe for me, my love,” She sniffled and tried to remind her lungs how to work too, wheezing for breath as she struggled. “You. You saved me, when I came back. And I love you, and I want you with me. And I want...something, even a small something that...that proves what happened to me wasn’t nothing. It wasn’t nothing. Everything’s been so hard ever since, it wasn’t nothing. Do you think...we could bury something I kept? A crystal, or something else I made, or can’t use anymore? It can be at home, or on the beach, or anywhere else. It doesn’t really have to be some...gothic statue. It can just be...something that can rest. I want that. If those parts of me can’t come back, they can at least rest somewhere. I’m not going to be able to anytime soon, you know? But, when we get home. For now, we can just lay here for a little while. If you want that too--?” She mumbled most of her words into her shoulder and held on tighter.

Deirdre held Morgan tighter, with great fanatical desire to meld their bodies together—hold her pain inside of her, take it away and give her all of the love that bloomed instead. She imagined that in her arms held her gratitude, for whatever God there was, or whatever twist of fate it might have been that allowed Morgan to speak those words as many times as she wanted. For each 'I love you', Deirdre swelled with her own 'thank you's—to Morgan, to the world. "You're one to tell me to breathe," she laughed, pressing a kiss to Morgan's forehead. Her lungs might have protested, and her heart might have had an argument or two lined up, but she knew how important being able to hold Morgan—kiss Morgan—the right way was. Not just for Deirdre's sanity, but for the desperation to feel she knew coiled inside of Morgan. She must have read Morgan's letters and words about her cold body a dozen times, she must have asked to hear them a dozen more, but she never dared ask if Morgan missed it. She knew the answer, and Deirdre had a response of her own. She held her tighter. Closer. Her head against her chest, flush to the slow pounding of the heart that beat for her. She might have frozen her body if she thought it'd bring back the feeling for Morgan, but there were better ones she could make. That she was learning how to make. "If I saved you, then you've saved me a thousand times, Morgan." Deirdre smiled and nodded. "Okay. As soon as we get home, we'll do that. We'll find the right piece, and the right spot. And if you want some pillar to remember where it rests, we'll do that too." For her arguments—that all of Morgan, and especially those parts she thought she lost, had never left—she shook them away. This wasn't about that, she knew it. Even as she ached to reassure her, to tell her love of all the beauty she had never stopped seeing—all the magic that existed inside of her; in her smile or her eyes or the delight of her laughter. "Do you miss her?" Deirdre asked after a moment. She knew the rudimentary answer to the question, and she'd inquired down similar paths before, but she asked knowing time had passed since her last query and she always loved to hear Morgan's thoughts anyway. Even if she heard them a hundred times before, even if she knew them by heart. "Yourself. As you were before you died. Do you miss her?"

Morgan sighed into all of Deirdre’s kisses and touches, soaking up each cotton brush of ghost feeling as if it fueled the magic keeping her alive. She whined, wordlessly asking for more, and brought them down to lay on the blanketed ground. She could touch more of her at once this way, and if she closed her eyes, it even seemed like her romantic fantasy of alchemizing themselves had come true, the two of them, distinct and dissolved at once. “I miss getting goosebumps when you touch me, and the way it was like falling into melting ice water when I put my head against you. And I miss pasta night, and tacos, and pie, and Al’s. I don’t care about it anymore, but even that was nice. And I miss the way you made fun of my hair when it was all flat and sticky after sex. I miss falling asleep in your arms, and naps in the afternoon with Anya.” She sniffled, remembering the little black cat and how they used to pad around the house together, enough that she would sometimes call Anya her shadow. She kissed Deirdre wherever she was closest, passing back whatever vitality, whatever warmth that went beyond physical sensation. Back and forth between them, in such a balance that they always seemed to be bursting with an abundance of feeling. “I miss breathing. And my heartbeat. And getting sweaty. And being so tired I could practically fall over. And smelling my own cooking, and...my magic. There were years when the Universe was the only one who would really hold me at all, when it was just me and my magic and trying to break the curse. I could just make the world prettier with a touch of my fingers. And patience. Alive-Me would never have lost my temper at you, not the way I have since I died. And she never threw a real punch in her life. She thought she could power her way though anything, and that habit is still there, but it’s hard not to second guess or feel like an idiot when I know that it’s just the kind of thinking that helped get me killed. And sometimes it feels like...those parts of her couldn’t take it, and that’s why they stayed behind. She was so naive because it just hurt too much, after everything awful that had happened, to realize that’s what most of the world was going to be. She thought she couldn’t find that happy other side because of her curse, but there’s just...more mess, and more unfairness from people who don’t care enough to make things different. We have to make our own good. It was never gonna fall out of the sky like some weird Christian angel light.”

She shifted on the ground to look at Deirdre and brush away the wetness on her cheek. “Do you miss her too? You can say, if you do. I know you love this me too, and you’ll love me longer, just by, you know, how math and linear time works. You can tell me, Deirdre.”

Just as Morgan spoke, memories were breathed into existence. Deirdre closed her eyes and allowed them to filter through her mind. She knew the way Morgan shivered to her touch and the delight that curled up her own lips at the sight---she was different from all the humans that flinched or shrieked, she seemed to like the cold just as much as Deirdre. She remembered nights of fighting Anya for Morgan’s affection--some happy medium was reached with Anya in Morgan’s lap and Morgan in Deirdre’s--with their plates stained by pasta sauce sitting unattended on the table (Deirdre would pick them up later, but it always spurred a whine to be pulled away from Morgan). Plans of a breakfast at Al’s would be shared between them, right before Morgan fell asleep in Deirdre’s arms---she always waited to hear her breathing to lull her to sleep. She knew well the way that sweat built on Morgan’s body, the places she’d grow the warmest in, and the way her hair stuck flat to her reddening face---she remembered each time she brushed that hair away, pressed kisses to her burning cheeks and watched with awe as Morgan caught her breath. Deirdre opened her eyes. Lazy rolling clouds above greeted her. “For each moment that will remain a memory, there are new ones…” She sighed, speaking to herself. She might not have been able to watch Morgan shiver, but that didn’t matter much when she could feel every bump and curve for herself. Moira would wiggle her way between them. Morgan watched eagerly for her reaction to her latest cooking venture, unable to taste for herself. Deirdre slept now to the sound of Morgan’s voice, holding her love tight in her arms, and woke just the same way. They didn’t go to Al’s anymore, but she wouldn’t replace their morning jogs for anything else. And sex--well, now the only limitation was Deirdre’s abundant stamina.

“That’s why I don’t miss it. I don’t miss her.” She smiled, quickly catching up to explain herself. “I don’t see you as lacking anything, you know that. And if that’s how I think...there’s nothing for me to miss. I love you, just like this. Just as you are, always. I don’t want to be thinking about anything else, I don’t want to look at you and think about the things that aren’t. You’re perfect to me. You always have been, and you always will be. So, no, I don’t miss it. I...well--not like how you miss it, at least. I don’t want to, and I won’t allow myself to. What kind of a person would I be if I thought that way? If I missed what I have?” She tilted her head down, pressing a kiss to Morgan’s nose. She wouldn’t be sure she was making sense, and she figured she probably wasn’t--even for as impeccable Morgan was at deciphering her thoughts--but she felt it in her heart. To claim she missed something was to say there must have been an absence, and there wasn’t. Morgan wasn’t less to her, she never would be. Morgan might have mourned the pieces of her that were gone, and she should, but Deirdre never would allow herself that. She never would indulge the idea. “I miss you when you’re gone from me. I missed you that one day I had to wait for you to wake. I miss you when I’m at work. I don’t miss the things we used to do, I remember them and I’m happy they happened, and I love what we can do now just the same. How you were when you were alive...to me that’s still you now. I just won’t do it. I won’t miss you when I have you.” She paused. “But I know you miss it. I won’t stop you from doing that, and I’ll always be here if you want to talk about it--or remember it. But every trip to Al’s we don’t take, we’ve replaced with hikes and picnics and graveyard visits or movies at home. And I love that. And if that changed, if we had to replace those moments with something else, I won’t miss them either. Because I’ll love what we do next, and I’ll always love whatever it is we do next. However it is we change. I would have loved you as an old woman, I’ll love you as an immortal. I don’t miss it. I have you.”

Deirdre closed her eyes again. “I think Alive-You would have lost your temper at me all the same. Alive-You might have grown to learn more painfully about the world. She might have thrown a good punch one day. She’s not so different from you. She was just alive.” When she opened them, the cloud had shifted and somewhere beyond them she knew a world continued to turn. Change was inevitable; to the living and to the dead. But it wasn’t so bad to mourn what changed. “Your optimism isn’t what got you killed. That was Constance.”

Morgan thumbed Deirdre’s cheek as she spoke, watching every turn of her expression, trying to follow her down her maze of thought. She liked their life, which had grown around her death like weeds bursting through asphalt. She was stronger since she died, and maybe even before then, without all of the extra curse-related anxiety and running for her life. There were hunters, still, but she was learning how to handle that, and they were so much easier to get rid of than a ghost or a curse. But she was still drifting in a strange form that kept her at one degree of remove. And yet to hear Deirdre speak of her, it was as though nothing had been severely disrupted, as though their life had merely taken an unexpected turn in its ever continuous growth towards abundance. “You can let yourself miss something,” she whispered, confused. “You don’t have to lock that away…”

But Deirdre was so confident, so gentle and firm with her estimation of the past and everything that had changed shape around their present, their future. From Deirdre’s lips, their life was a wonder, something to be faced with the same curiosity she approached a freshly gored corpse, its bones shining with promise. Morgan couldn’t imagine taking the ache of the pieces they’d left by the wayside. There were days when everything different she did felt like a desperate excuse to cover up what was missing. No damage! Nothing to see here! Morgan even tried to imagine how she might approximate her new self into those spaces she’d left behind. What if she could go for a burger and not feel alienated out of her existence by not being able to taste it right? The thought of having to shift again for the sake of some other cataclysmic change frightened her. She had just gotten morning jogs and bone crafts. She didn’t want to jettison those too someday. But the years ahead of them were long, and if she dared to look at them, she would know that it was all but inevitable. But she kissed Deirdre tearfully instead, and brought them tight into each other’s grasp once again.

“W-wow, I really don’t deserve you, babe,” she whispered, trying to make her voice light. “But I am so glad I have you. I mean, keeping me around even when I was old and decrepit? That would’ve been a lot to take on. I will, hypothetically speaking, have a lot of fun poking at your gray hairs, but that would be a long way off, obviously…” Morgan’s voice caught, unable to keep up the game she was playing with herself. “Why do I feel so different if we’re the same? What Constance did to me--she-- Why are there days when there’s even less of me than there is right now? And you don’t know that Alive-Me would have stormed out or yelled. Apparently multiple zombies have written that they feel more aggressive after they die, more prone to being...awful, and--” Morgan brought her head down to rest on Deirdre’s shoulder. She didn’t know why she was trying to convince her that things were worse or less than before now. She cherished the survival of their love more than anything else she had managed to keep, though the list felt pretty short. “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore,” she mumbled into her skin. “I love you. I want this to be good. I want to be here, and feel more okay. If I could just skip to the part where none of this hurt and we’re good and doing our best, that’d be really great.”

“I’m not locking it away. It just---even if I try to think about the things we can’t do anymore, I just remember all the new things we do instead. And I get excited for everything else we might do in the future. It’s not--life is a stream, as I see it. It’s hard to swim up-river and say I miss it. I--does that make sense?” Deirdre grimaced at herself. It probably didn’t. She watched Morgan consider it, her thoughts flickering across her face in the turn of her expressions. When she spoke next, Deirdre shook her head. “I could say the same thing about you…” She leaned into the quiver in Morgan’s voice, matching it was a steadiness in hers. If only she could make things better with just the sound of her gentleness, or the pressure of her arms around Morgan, or her words or any number of the things she did that made her wish she could pull Morgan’s pain away. “I would do anything for you, my love. I would then, I would now.” And yet, there was only so much she could do. She couldn’t kiss Morgan like a lullaby to sleep any more than she could love her heart to reanimation. Even that hadn’t changed much from before; she couldn’t ease away Morgan’s curse or the trauma it wrought. The feelings of love never shifted, the desire for care never wavered. Morgan’s pain, in the same way, had only turned to another source. Life was cyclical, wasn’t it? “Because you died. You died and nothing can change that fact, but you’re not some new person--not entirely. I--you died, Morgan. Of course that feels...different.” Deirdre frowned, clumsily stumbling through her explanation. “You don’t know that she wouldn’t have. Isn’t anger just a natural reaction to pain? And you have so much pain. I don’t---none of this is bad to me, Morgan. But I understand how terrible it must be for you. You don’t have to see it the way I do; you’ll figure it out your own way, I know you will.” Deirdre laughed gently, a sound bred more out of a need to prevent an onset of tears than some kind of joy. “It’s okay. You can say whatever you want, whatever you’re thinking. I want to know, always. And I’m forever glad you share yourself with me like this.” She shifted, urging Morgan’s head up with her hands, just enough so she could kiss her better. To kiss her like sacrament, offering prayers of a brighter future and present--to absolve pain and allow it passage to what existed beyond it. “It’s fine. Whatever you are--now, tomorrow, forever--it’s okay, I’m sure I’ll love her too. Don’t worry about...being anything else than what you are, Morgan. Just feel...however you want to feel.” She kissed her again--the benediction.  

Only Deirdre could have spoken so calmly and perfectly of rivers and tides and in doing so washed away the harshest sting of Morgan’s confusion. Maybe that was why she felt stuck on her worst days; there was a tide trying to carry her one way, and all her pain was driving her the other way. In this moment, with her voice as steady as the Earth’s turn, as the resting hum of the energy in the universe, Deirdre’s voice cut through the stagnation and carried Morgan to safety. Morgan nodded along to her words, as rapt as if they were the gospel of the stars. Yes, she was a babbling mess, and that was okay. Yes, she was in pain, no matter what she did she couldn’t shake or bury her pain completely like she had when she was alive. Sometimes when she could bear to look ahead more than a few days, she feared that pain was all that lay ahead for her. If dying hadn’t been enough to stop it, surely nothing would. And the unfairness and the heaviness that came with this fear made her snap at each new hurt that got added to her pile. That was no excuse, but Deirdre’s silent forgiveness fell over her as surely as any cleansing charm.

Morgan took Deirdre’s face in her hands and kissed her as if she were the scion of salvation. If she drank enough of her in, blessed herself with enough of her touch, maybe she could finally will the strange property allowed her banshee to see goodness and certainty in a world marked with death to come into herself and stick as seamlessly as any alchemy she’d ever performed. Morgan clung to her with all her strength, reaching for that hope with each tug of her lips. What tears she had been fighting to keep back fell harmlessly past her lashes and dried up. Morgan was consumed only by this moment, this needling urgency to taste Deirdre’s conviction in exchange for surrendering all her messy doubts and worries. “I want that,” she murmured between kisses, meaning I want it now. For all the frustration and hurt that roiled silently in her dead body, Morgan hadn’t lost the human need for urgency, and so she pressed Deirdre’s body against hers as if it was that magical horizon in the land of ‘better,’ as if she could make come to her by dragging it over with her bare hands, as if it were magic itself. She pulled away  just as her longing bottomed out into hunger, when hope watered in her mouth like desire and Deirdre’s neck seemed as gratifying as any tomorrow she could ever look forward to. “I love you,” she said, voice cracked and starved for air. “Thank you. I am...trying. I can keep trying. I want everything you said. And you’ll be here? And you’ll take me home? And we’ll… we’ll keep going until we can’t, and we’ll make everything as good as we can.”

Loving Morgan always felt inexpressibly right; a place where everything fit and all the world faded away. It was the two of them, against the tides of the earth, the pull of life and death around them. The two of them, standing together at the frontier of something brighter than bright. Deirdre couldn't explain it. She had tried countless times to commit the feeling to words; to write it down or vocalize it in a signature metaphor, but she could only ever pick at the surface. When Morgan said "I love you", it never was just those three words. When Deirdre said it back, it too was something much greater than she knew how to say. Love to her had been nonexistent, conditional or something dangled in front of her like a goal she might reach if she was just good enough for it—her fault then, if it was never given. But with Morgan, everything was different. She never had the words to explain how much everything meant to her, how much Morgan meant to her. All she could say was— "I love you too." And kiss her back. "One day," she murmured against her, "I'll be able to tell you just how much, with the right words. One day, maybe, I'll just be able to love all of the pain away. I want that. I wish I could right now." There never was an old Morgan and a new one, not to her. Always just Morgan, just the woman she loved most. "I'll be here for you. There's no place I'd rather be. And I'll take you home, I'll take you anywhere you want to go. I love you." Deirdre held her tighter, squeezing her arms around her girlfriend as hard as she could, for as long as she could and far past muscle aches. "No matter what happens, I love you. And if you want to mourn yourself, I'll be here. And, well—maybe I wish we weren't in such a public place." Deirdre laughed lightly, keenly aware that even their intimate cuddling probably broke some modesty rules. "As good as we can…" she smiled, "I like that."

[theliterateape]

The Cinema of 2019: A Literate Ape End-of-Year Review

By Don Hall and Brett Dworski

Editor’s Note:

With projects like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Watchmen, The Mandalorian, and pretty much everything produced for the CW, we are smack dab in the epicenter of the Age of Fan Fiction. The films of 2019 have some nods to this trend with Joker, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and Yesterday playing hard and loose with expanding the existing iconography to tell new stories.

We enjoyed a lot of movies in 2019. While not a banner year like 1968 or 1999, the year certainly had its standouts. Here is our end of the year list of the films that impacted us the most compiled by Don Hall and Brett Dworski, both film fans and people with acceptable vision and hearing.

NOTE: These are not ranked because generally, we believe the practice of ranking films is fucking stupid. However, we do rate them from 1 to 5 Apes. Enjoy.

Apollo 11

4 Apes (DH)

There really was a time when America was great. Sure, there was still segregation and violence, the war overseas, the draft, and the host of problems faced by the country but the men and women who took up Kennedy’s challenge to get a human being on the surface of the moon elevated us all. Apollo 11 is a documentary using entirely archival footage of this historic moment when mankind exceeded itself.

Honey Boy

1 Ape (BD)

The anticipated debut of writer Shia LaBeouf is choppy and disappointing. Newcomer Noah Jupe plays child actor Otis—based on LaBeouf—whose drunken father disrupts his recent success. The film’s inconsistencies stem across the plot, casting and performances. The father, played by LaBeouf, flops between abusive asshole and tender daddy by the minute; neither is compelling. Lucas Hedges, who plays Otis as a drug-abusing teenager, looks nothing like LaBeouf or Jupe. And once things get interesting, Otis forgives his pop and tells him he’s “going to make a movie about him.” Very original, Shia. The fact that Honey Boy is based on LaBeouf’s life is intriguing, but the film is ultimately a huge letdown.

Midsommar

4 Apes (DH)

Ari Astor gives us a twisted break up story wrapped in the bloody flowered crown of a horror film set in blinding sunlight. I loved Hereditary for a million reasons. I loved Midsommar for five: Florence Pugh, the bizarre mating ritual, the fucked up mushroom visuals, old people willingly plunging to their deaths, and a dude being stuffed into the skin of a recently slaughtered bear and burned alive.

Dolemite Is My Name

3 Apes (BD)

Eddie Murphy rewinds the clock to his Raw and Delirious days in this biopic of Rudy Ray Moore, a comedian and musician behind the Blaxploitation movement of the 1970s. While wildly erratic at times, it’s also an affectionate and sobering look at the hustle of show business. It took years for Murphy to ditch his affable family-man routine, but it was worth the wait: Dolemite Is My Name cements the raunchy, cocksure comic as one of the greatest talents of all time.

Yesterday

3 Apes (DH)

I wrote about this here. Loved it.

The Lighthouse

3 Apes (BD)

Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe are exhilarating in this delirious indie thriller. They play 19th century lighthouse keepers who struggle to maintain their sanity upon learning they’re stuck on an island off the coast of New England. The stunning black and white landscapes of Nova Scotia are overshadowed by Dafoe’s and Pattinson’s constant bickering, farting, masturbating, and binge drinking. The Lighthouse is bizarre, hilarious, terrifying, peculiar… and quite good. You’ll never view seagulls the same way after watching it.

Endgame

5 Apes (DH)

The culmination of nearly two dozen interconnected films all stemming from my Gen X childhood? I’ve been waiting since I read my first Avengers comic when I was ten years old for this and it did not disappoint. Packed with incredibly satisfying moments (Professor Hulk, Cap gets the Hammer, “...on your left...,” and “I... am... Iron Man”) this was the most fun three hours I could imagine that didn’t involve cheese or sex.

The Art of Self Defense

4 Apes (BD)

This deadpan and absurdist comedy highlights toxic masculinity through a ruthless karate class. Jessie Eisenberg plays Casey, a lonely, frightened accountant who enlists in the course after a mugging leaves him hospitalized. Led by a vain and puzzling instructor, the class soon absorbs Casey’s life and brainwashes him to commit barbaric acts beyond self-protection. Although clearly a blend of Fight Club and The Karate Kid, The Art of Self Defense carries an unusual rhythm that separates it from its predecessors—and displays a refreshing kind of filmmaking from newcomer Riley Streams.

Joker

4 Apes (DH)

The politics that suddenly surrounded this were nothing more than distraction. Was it a response to the humorless Woke culture? An Incel Fantasy? Who gives a fuck. It was a film that did something a lot of movies lately refuse to do—it surprised us. It also included an amazing, painful performance by Joaquin Phoenix and, like Logan before it, used the pop culture iconography of the comic book tropes and deepened them in ways that only a bold approach could.

High Life

4 Apes (BD)

Visually-stunning cinematography and a harrowing storyline carry High Life, one of the most daunting films of the year. Set in a futuristic world where death-row inmates are sent to conduct eerie experiments in outer space, High Life is as morbid as it is alluring. The movie—which was made in 2018 but not released in theaters until 2019—resembles a space version of The Shining with its isolation-leads-to-madness concept. While too edgy for some, High Life is one of the most uniquely made films in years.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

5 Apes (DH)

Tarantino’s homage to revisionist history, the plight of growing old and becoming replaceable, 1960s Hollywood, and chock full of snappy dialogue, incredible performances, and both a sense of celebration and melancholy makes this one of the best movies about movies ever made.

John Wick Chapter 3

5 Apes (DH)

With next year’s Keanu-mas when they release both John Wick 4 and the Matrix 4 movies on the same day (yes, I will participate fully) the franchise that spawned the newfound love for all things Reeves is absolutely worth noting. Full of that comic book/video game world-building, odd but sensible rituals and oaths and rules plus plenty of head-shot, bloody violence, I sat in a Las Vegas theater with a crowd and we all gasped, laughed, and applauded at the absolute action-porn that is John Wick. Yes, these films are pornography of comic book violence and Reeves is our big-dicked John Holmes.

The Painted Bird

5 Apes (BD)

Those seeking a feel good shan’t see The Painted Bird, a bloodcurdling Holocaust drama seen through the eyes of a child. Petr Kotlár gives a robust performance as a nameless boy fighting to survive the violent societal breakdown in Eastern Europe. In doing so, he experiences one nightmare after another—each worse than the former—and loses hope in human kindness along the way. The beautifully shot black-and-white landscapes are a mirage for the routine abuse the boy encounters, leaving audiences as numb to it as he is by the film’s end.

The Irishman

4 Apes (DH)

Scorsese caps a triptych of films over decades with this much slower but no less magnificent look into the Italian Mafia from the inside/out. Goodfellas is an Irish kid’s ascent and is an explosive young man’s movie. Casino is a Jewish man’s climb up in the Mob and, while still explosive, is a bit more subdued and a decidedly middle-aged man’s film. The Irishman is an old man’s view, looking back, reliving awful and magnificent moments.

Together, the three films mark a masterwork in a genius director’s canon.

Ad Astra

5 Apes (BD)

Ad Astra takes a different approach than most solar-system journeys by exploring the man behind the suit. Brad Pitt is Roy McBride, an accomplished astronaut whose dedication to space has damaged his marriage. When called upon for secret mission to Neptune, the stoic McBride finds he’s more than a government robot, and his ascent to madness results in one of Pitt’s finest performances. Supported by a wonderfully played asshole in Tommy Lee Jones, Ad Astra is as much a family drama as it is a space adventure.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

5 Apes (DH)

Sure, there were unanswered questions leftover and I really didn’t care for that kiss at the end but I loved this film from start to finish. Completing a story as massive and, in many ways, disconnected, was a tall order and I think Abrams and team did about as good a job as anyone could expect. This will be in rotation at least a couple more times in the next few weeks.

Marriage Story

5 Apes (BD)

Oscar-worthy performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson drive Marriage Story, a clever, poignant narrative about divorce. Noah Baumbach’s behind-the-scenes view of the crippling situation separates it from movies alike, exploring factors beyond courtroom troubles and custody battles. Marriage Story empathetically—and even comically—shows both sides of the fight, and its effect will last far beyond the screen. Get your box of tissues ready.

Alita: Battle Angel

3 Apes (DH)

Not a Manga-Boy so the inconsistencies with the story and characters didn’t bother me. I thought this was the closest to watching a dramatic video game with some cool performances and great use of camera and technology. It was also the film I saw first as a resident of Las Vegas so that counts for something at least to me.

Parasite

5 Apes (BD)

Superbly written, shot and performed, Bong Joon-ho’s account of class discrimination in Korea is an electrifying and emotional masterpiece. What begins as a lighthearted story of two families—one rich, one destitute—spirals into shocking sequences of deception. It has every element of an instant classic: witty comedy, sexual tension, thrilling violence, social themes and a stunning finale that mirrors the horrors of reality. Calling it the best movie of 2019 isn’t enough: Parasite is one of the top films of the decade and transcends the arc of modern cinema.

[canaryquillastrology]

Ruling Planet Deity Archetype

SUN: THE CREATOR

He is a golden Sun god, handsome and strong, with a youthful face and body. He is often depicted with a shining smile as an expression of his warmth and boyish optimism. The Creator is a god of creativity and the ego, associated with the forge, the arts, and sculpture. He is also an embodiment of male fertility and fatherhood, and patron to young children, of which he is very much alike. At his worst, he is egotistical, selfish, self-centered, and arrogant, demanding what is not given to him. He is a god that thrives on love, praise, and attention, and in turn is endlessly generous, proud, and kind to children, artists, and those seek him out.

SUNFLOWERS | ALOE VERA | SEEDS | HONEY | FORGE, FIRE | JAGUAR | SPIDER | PARROT

MOON: THE CHILD

She is a silver Moon goddess, small and fragile. But what she lacks in size and light, she makes up for in emotional strength. She is the daughter of the Mother, and clings to her gravitational pull like a dependant child. The Child governs the tides, the oceans, and all bodies of water, pulling them back and forth toward her whenever she rises into the sky. At her worst, the goddess is needy, clingy, moody, temperamental, and childishly irrational. She needs comfort and security in order to settle her highly reactive moods. But in return, she gives us intuition, compassion, empathy, and all the emotions we feel.

WHITE LILIES | IVY | WATER | ALL WATER-DWELLING CREATURES | BLACK CLOAK

MERCURY: THE SCHOLAR

He is a fat, soft looking young man in a modest cloak. He is most often depicted over a book or a scroll, writing or reading, to show he is a god of knowledge, communication, and intellect. But in myths, he is usually at the center of conversation, debate, or discussion, either teaching in a classroom or in a crowd of his peers. He is a patron of rational thinkers, philosophers, scientists, and anybody else engrossed in their studies. His dark side is his intellectual egotism, short attention span, and tendency to stir the pot out of boredom. But he is a god of intelligence, memory, and language, and gives mental gifts to those who worship him.

BOOKS, SCROLLS | QUILLS, INK | SMALL BIRDS | MONKEY | IGUANA | SAGE | PIPE

VENUS: THE MAIDEN

She is a beautiful goddess, much adored and sought after by the suitors who covet her. The Maiden is depicted as a young, lusty woman with long hair and pouting lips. A goddess of love, beauty, sex, and true femininity, she is sensual and seductive, with a want for beautiful mortals and all the finer things in life. Her darker side comes out when she isn’t desired, where she becomes vain, possessive, jealous, fat, and lazy. But when she is secure in the knowledge that she is loved, she is pure and lovely; polite, cooperative, diplomatic, sensitive, and open to compromise.

FLOWERS | MIRRORS | LACE, SILK, SATIN, CASHMERE | DEER | FOX | HARE

MARS: THE WARRIOR

He is the torrid god of war, violence, and bloodshed, often depicted in battle as a heavily muscled man with rough skin and a thick beard. The Warrior fights first and foremost for his own personal gain, be it to win an item of his desire, attain some goal, or extinguish some enemy. At times his efforts are noble, heroic, justified in their brutality. But at other times, he rapes, pillages, and slaughters scores of innocent victims. He gives strength, conviction, bravery, independence, and determination to those who worship him, chiefly to soldiers, assassins, and hunters on the prowl.

WEAPONS | ARMOUR | BLOOD | DOG | HORNED ANIMALS | ROOSTER | NETTLE | YARROW

CERES: THE MOTHER

She is the green Earth mother, goddess of female fertility, motherhood, pregnancy, family, food, home, and caregiving. She is depicted as a pregnant woman with wide hips and large, swollen breasts. All living things are her children, whom she loves and takes care of their whole lives long. But in this respect, her dark side is that she loses all rational sense when something threatens her child, and cries when they grow the nest and try to leave her. At her worst, she is coddling and manipulative, prone to guilt-tripping and cries of loneliness. At her best, she is protective, strong, soft, warm, and kind.

WOMB | MILK | NEST | EGGS | HOME | HEARTH | CORN, RICE, WHEAT | LIVESTOCK

JUPITER: THE JESTER

He is a nubile man who calls himself a fool, a comedian, a trickster, and a seducer. He sees and speaks the truth nobody else wants to hear through jokes and sarcasm and wit. His charm is in his frankness. He can say things nobody else can, and get away with it, because he can make the gods laugh at their own folly. The Jester is drawn center-stage and to parties, feasts, weddings, and theatre, where he parades his antics on stage to the amusement of the crowd. He is a patron of actors, musicians, travellers, and entertainers from all walks of life, worshipped to rid themselves of homesickness, stage fright, and pre-show jitters.

DRAMA | MUSIC | CARAVAN | MASKS, COSTUMES | COYOTE | GREY JAY | RACCOON

SATURN: THE CRONE

She is an old woman, close to the end of her life, draped in grey hair and sagging skin, criss-crossed with bulging veins and knobby joints. She is the grandmotherly patron of wisdom withered from experience; of the harvest; of elders passing down knowledge onto the younger mortals below. She teaches responsibility, preparing for the future, focus, and sensible choices. To some she is boring, ugly, restrictive, a harbinger of a slow death and the horrors of old age. But she is respected as the one who taught mankind how to harvest and preserve food, allowing them to survive in hard times.

SICKLE | SALMON | MAMMOTH, MASTODON | WHALE | ROOTS | OLD TREES | BONES

CHIRON: THE HEALER

The Healer is an elderly man, scrawny, with a short beard and a body covered in scars and bandages. He is said to be very kind, caring, and gentle, with delicate hands dedicated to his mortar and pestle. He is the grandfatherly patron of the healing arts, of medicine, tinctures, herbology, and surgery. It is said he hears more prayers than any other god, of desperate voices wishing for good health and to overcome what horrors they’ve fallen to. At his worst, he is useless, an embodiment of false hope in desperate times. At his best, he is a miracle worker, able to pull mortals back from the void.

MORTAR AND PESTLE | ST. JOHN’S WORT | WEREWOLF ROOT | BETONICA | ACHILLEA

URANUS: THE USURPER

His face is hidden, so we do not know if he is a young man, or an old one. What we know is that he is a disruptive, anarchic, rebellious man, set out to overthrow those in power and free the people from tyrannical leaders. Revolutionaries pray to the Usurper more than any other group, for he is the embodiment of their cause, no matter what it is. At his worst, he is a god of madness, chaos, mayhem, and destruction. He is both feared and hated for the disruptive changes he brings upon society. At his best, he is a symbol for freedom from slavery and subjugation, of revolution, and a leader for anyone who feels abandoned or alone.

SWARMS | POISON, VENOM | WOLF | STORMS | DISEASE, MADNESS

NEPTUNE: THE MYSTIC

She commands the veil that separates this world from the next. When we are born it is she who pulls out a droplet (a soul) from the sea of creation. When we die, she is there, easing our soul back into the waters of the afterlife, where we dissipate and become one with one other. She is a goddess of birth and death and rebirth, of magic, sleep, dreams, drugs and alcohol, and spirituality. Associated with death, she is frightening, foreboding, morbid, and macabre. But associated with birth, she is joyful, exciting, and a welcome sight.

POPPIES | PEYOTE | MUSHROOMS | VEILS | BUTTERFLY | FROG

PLUTO: THE MONARCH

She is a queen, a patron of royalty, money, precious metals and jewels, and seats of power. She represents those who reign safely from the throne rooms in castles in state capitals. To many she is an abusive, tyrannical, exploitive Monarch who exacts war and violence upon those under her control. But to others, she is a dedicated and faithful ruler who serves her people loyally. She and the Usurper are forever battling against one another, with him trying to overthrow her, and her trying to stay in power, the two of them locked in an immortal, unwinnable battle for all time.

CROWN | JEWELS | COINS | THRONE | LION | BEAR | EAGLE | ROSE

[tavinafanfiction]

Capax Infiniti: Holding Infinity

So, NejiTen Month 2018 is starting....It’s August everyone and I’m too excited so have my first offering. 

Read it here on FFnet, or here on AO3 or just under the cut. 

Holding Infinity

This is how it begins.

He watches Tenten retrieve the weapons she’s used over the course of a training session, one normal day in late summer and suddenly there is a knot of tension in his chest.

It is a day exactly like every other. There is nothing to determine it special or distinct from any other day, any different than any pearl in a long long string of pearls that were their days together.

Nothing.

But today something shifts and changes.

Something about the way the setting sun hits her hair casts it in shades of gold. Something about the way she turns to him while pulling a kunai out of a target — a bull’s eye, how could it be anything less — settles the tension deeper.

“Neji.” She says, lips curled up in happy laughter. “You’ve got leaves in your hair.” She raises a casual hand, brushes them away, and he stiffens.

It is barely noticeable, such a little thing, but she notes it; he’s certain she does.

He pulls the last of the leaves from his hair himself. “You’ve improved.” He says, by way of conversation because he’s at a loss as to how to recapture the moment. “Open handed combat has always been harder for you.” Than me. The last two words do not go unacknowledged between them.

There are some things to be said for a conversation without words.

“So have you.” She nods. “You can control the size of your kaiten much more accurately now.” She’s about to say more, but Gai-sensei and Lee burst into the clearing.

“100!” They shout together.

“Yosh!” Lee’s energy is always impressive. “Tomorrow I shall run fifty extra laps.”

He shares a glance with Tenten as the rest of their team dissolves into manly tears and extra promises to continue to work hard. The set of her mouth says she’s annoyed, but her eyes are happy and fond

It is a habitual scene, almost as normal as the many dents and cuts in the targets on the other side of the training field. Perhaps when this all began, he found it annoying, but now?

Now he’s fond of the sight as well, even if he would have to die before he said anything about it.

“I see you two have fanned the flames of your youth impressively today.” Gai-sensei looks about the training field.

Half an hour of cleanup has not made Training Ground Five any less of a disaster zone.

“There have been improvements.” Neji allows.

Gai-sensei nods enthusiastically. “It is good to know that you have embraced your youthful vibrancy, Neji!”

Something about his facial expression must have been funny, because Tenten giggles and starts dragging him away. “We’re going to dinner, Gai-sensei. See you tomorrow!”

The settled tension in his chest becomes a dull ache.

Has her hand always been so warm?

That night after dinner he walks her home just like he’s done for the past year and a half and bids her goodbye at the door before heading home himself.

The ache is gone and he doesn’t think much more of it.

A hard day of training, he thinks. Nothing to worry about. He forgets about it soon after.

This is how it begins.

He finds himself standing over the sink a month and a half later, coughing uncontrollably into his hands. He might have caught the flu sometime during their last mission in the Land of Water.

It has been an unbearably chilly fall. Almost unseasonal really, Konoha is a temperate place, and most winters, it doesn’t even snow.

He might have caught the flu, but he doesn’t think the flu has much to do with the pale spotted pink petals that he’s fishing out of his sink, or the small drops of blood peppering their surface.

He hasn’t eaten any flowers that he’s aware of, much less ones that he’d be regurgitating so violently.

Still, the coughing fit subsides, and there are only three petals in his sink and a miniscule amount of blood that he has detected only with the byakugan, so there’s nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about.

He throws the petals in the trash.

Hinata-hime’s waiting for him in the garden. He’d promised to oversee her training today.

This is how it begins.

“Umm...Neji-niisan?” Hinata pushes her fingers together in that habitual nervous tic of hers that he’s tried to correct time and time again — and she’s getting better, truly, it just comes back when she’s very, very nervous — without much success. “There’s something growing in your chest.”

He drops his jyuken stance. “What?” Something growing—

The flowers.

There’d been petals in his sink this morning.

“I-I can’t see it very clearly.” Hinata shifts uneasily on the balls of her feet. Her fidgeting has gotten even worse. “But it looks like flowers in your lungs.”

“Don’t be silly, Hinata-hime.” Neji ignores the rapid tightening in his chest — the same one that’s been hurting on and off for about a month now — He really needs to stop, stop thinking about it.  It’s nothing to worry about. “How can anyone grow flowers in their chest?”

Hinata looks like she wants to say something else, but he takes a deep breath, just to prove to her that he can — it hurts; it hurts like that one time when he was seven and nearly drowned in the pond in the back garden — and he can still breath just fine.

Hinata looks down at her feet and then looks back at him. “Alright then, Neji-niisan.”

Her admission doesn’t taste sweet at all.

That he ends the day coughing over his sink again doesn’t mean anything either.

He fishes four petals out of his sink and throws them in the trash.

Nothing to worry about. The mark on his forehead burns.

This is how it begins.

He’s running laps with Lee during the morning a week later when suddenly the ache in his chest gets worse, and he’s coughing by the side of the road.

Thankfully, there’s neither flowers, nor blood.

Just the concerned eyes of his most youthful teammate when he straightens up again.

“Are you alright?” Lee asks, his heavy black brows drawn together. “This is most unlike you, Neji.”

“It’s most unlike you to be so subdued.” Neji snarks back. It is unusual, unusual for Lee to be serious and concerned instead of effusive and concerned. The subdued nature doesn’t suit him.

“You don’t normally start coughing not ten laps into our run either.” Lee crosses his arms and frowns. “What’s the matter?”

“I caught a bout of the flu when we were in the Land of Water.” The lie slips off his tongue as easily as breathing. Which is to say, his ability to lie has gotten worse recently. “I’m not a hundred percent yet.”

It’s likely not what’s happening to him, but he doesn’t know how else to explain it — doesn’t want to explain it, so he won’t.

“Ah,” Lee takes a deep breath. “You should have said so then, my eternal rival!” He bellows. “We ought to get you checked up at the hospital!”

“It’s not serious.” Neji looks away. “Don’t get so worked up, Lee.”

They continue running, Lee taking a slower pace than usual.

His coughing fits don’t come back until he is alone that evening.

This is how it begins.

He and Tenten are out to dinner in one of Konoha’s relatively more well known hot pot destinations, and he is doing a very good job of ignoring the ache in his chest that’s been building all day. Training hadn’t been entirely productive. He’d been trying harder not to cough up more petals than paying attention to actually improving.

Outside, it is still unseasonably cold, with a light dusting of snow on the ground.

She has his jacket around her shoulders as they try to warm up a little from the cutting wind outside, rubbing her hands together close to the pot in the center of their booth as he diligently adds mushrooms and tofu. “Neji, was there something specific you wanted something for New Years?”

He looks up at her, and for a moment, can only stare, dumbstruck, at the way the winter wind has scrubbed her cheeks raw and red. She’s not supposed to look pretty right now, half frozen as she is, but it’s on the tip of his tongue. Tenten, you look nice today.

“Not really.” He says and tips the pork into the hot pot as well. He should have done that first, since it’ll take longer to cook than the tofu, but he wants to stay here, just here in this moment until this moment becomes the rest of his life, and if improper hot pot use will do that, he’ll take it. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Hmmm.” She fiddles with an old kunai as her hands warm up, staring off into the distance. “If it’s going to be so cold for a while yet, a hat would be nice.”

“You don’t already have one?” She came to team training that morning without a heavy jacket, a hat or gloves, but he had assumed she’d just forgotten it at home.

She laughs, the sound like warm honey. “The last time I wore my old winter hat was eight years ago. I think it’s a little tight now.”

He resists the urge to cough and sets his chopsticks down on the table. “Excuse me for a moment.”

He notes the worry in her eyes before he goes.

It’s more than single petals littering the sink of the men’s room in the Golden Dragon. This time, there’s no denying the blood. It looks like he cut himself on a kunai and then let the wound drip onto the white porcelain.

There are full flowers clogging up the drain, bell shaped and pink with a hint of dark green stem.

“Neji, are you okay?” She calls through the door.

He braces himself against the sink and doesn’t cough again. “I’m fine.” He doesn’t sound fine.

His throat is on fire, and apparently, he’s growing flowers in his lungs.

He gathers up the two pink things in the sink and rinses all the blood away, even if he can’t quite wash the iron tang out of his mouth.

He’s not quite morbid enough to give them to Tenten and pretend that he left to find her a gift. Instead, he tucks them in his leg pouch. Maybe Hinata will know what they are.

She’d looked like she wanted to say something more the last time they’d discussed this nearly two months ago.

“Really Neji, you sounded like you were coughing up a lung or something in there.” Tenten drags him back to their booth, hissing quietly at him all the while. “You need to get that checked out by a medic. Go see Sakura after dinner. You don’t sound like you’re fine.”

He’s worried her then, because normally Tenten doesn’t outright demand things anyone but herself. Tenten only expects herself to be perfect.

He doesn’t want to say no to her though, even if going to a medic and saying something along the lines of “ah yes, I got this mysterious tightness in my chest a few months back and it appears that I’ve been growing flowers which I now cough up at inopportune times like a dinner out with my teammate” is probably a one way ticket to a psych eval and a padded cell.

“Alright.” He says. “I’ll go see a medic sometime this week.”

The fire in his throat eases long enough for dinner.

It’s happy enough, even though Tenten keeps casting worried glances at him. “Are you sure you feel fine, Neji?” She asks when they’re done and about to head out.

“Yes.” On some instinctual level, he’s always known that Tenten cared about him, that if he pressed it, they could be more than friends, more than teammates, more than two people who trusted each other to watch their back.

But he doesn’t press it.

He’s not free with his affections, no. He doesn’t have the freedom of a choice in the matter.

“You’re certain you’ll go see Sakura?” Tenten pauses to shrug off his winter jacket at the door of her childhood home. “Absolutely positive you’ll get a diagnosis and antibiotics for that nasty cold of yours?”

“Yes.”

Tenten’s parents are immigrants from the Land of Iron, and her own background is closer to samurai than shinobi. She is their only child, the first in her family to break past an Academy graduation and sprint headlong into life as a chunin.

Perhaps once, he would have looked down upon her without ever seeing her dedication, her steel-forged will, her warmth. Perhaps.

But that is not now.

They stand there for another moment under the porch light until it gets too cold and she has to go in. No words are said, but she doesn’t worry any longer.

She knows that he’ll go, if only because he hates lying to her.

Tenten is free as she is, and he has never been one to chain swallows down to the earth.

This is how the end begins.

He goes to visit Hinata’s room, even if it is rather late. “Hinata-hime?” She’s sitting at the table, poring over a scroll.

“Oh!” She hurries to bring out a second folding chair. “Neji-niisan, I didn’t know you were coming tonight. All the tea I have has gone cold.”

He’s startled her. “I didn’t say I was coming.” He softens just a little. His younger cousin tries too hard to please everyone, is far too kind to deserve this sort of anxiety. “Don’t worry about it, Hinata-hime. I’m the one intruding.”

Sometimes, he wonders if he’ll ever be able to mend the bridges that he broke during the Chunin Exams all those years ago. He’d done is level best to kill her, and he would have succeeded had not three jounin held him back from it.

Hinata’s forgive him for her near murder at his hands, but years and years of criticisms, cruel barbs and outright death threats are not so easy to erase even for someone as kind as Hinata.

Perhaps he is meant to build a new bridge instead of trying to mend the old ones.

“I’ll go heat up some water.” Hinata flies across the room for her electric kettle. “There are tea leaves in my cupboard.” She pauses at the doorway before she leaves for water. “You look all frozen through.”

It would comfort her to make tea, so he allows himself to smile. “Then tea would be heavenly, Hinata-hime.”

She comes back with boiling water from the kitchens and fidgets with the right amount of tea leaves and what kind he’d like at a table a little ways away, but eventually, her hands settle, and her shoulders straighten. “Neji-niisan, why are you visiting?”

“I needed your help identifying some flowers.” His cousin presses flowers like his aunt once did in her free time. Surely she’d know at least what he’s been coughing up, if not why.

He opens his hip pouch and gives her both blossoms that ended up drenched with his blood in the sink of the Golden Dragon.

“Azaleas.” Hinata looks over at him, worry in her lavender eyes. “They’re not in season right now.” She hands him his tea, wrists straight and steady. “They’re a summer flower, Neji-niisan.”

She doesn’t ask him why he has them though. She’d been the one to note the something growing in his chest.

“What do they mean?” He had only come to see her because he wanted a name for the things falling out of his lips, but now, suddenly, a name is not enough.

“Take care of yourself for me.” For a moment, he thinks she’s trying to ask him something, but she continues, in that same quiet voice of hers. “Temperance.” Hinata pauses for a long, long moment as her throat works and nothing comes out. “Fragile passion.”

He has half an idea who these flowers refer to now. Tenten. But he still has no idea why.

“P-please go see a doctor, Neji-niisan.” Hinata clasps her hands together so hard that her knuckles turn whiter than her pale skin. “The...the growing in your lungs has gotten worse.”

He certainly feels worse these days.

“Don’t worry about me, Hinata-hime.” He takes his flowers and rises to go. “I already promised Tenten that I would go.”

This is how the end progresses.

It’s a slow, steady march to the hospital the next morning, like an inexorable pulling in the pit of his stomach. He’d promised. He has half an idea of what this means.

He just still doesn’t know why.

“Here to see Haruno Sakura for my scheduled physical.” He’d put off going to Konoha General for weeks now.

Technically, he’s already missed the time slot for his physical because he didn’t want to be here, but he had promised Tenten because not promising Tenten would make her sad and prone to doing rash things like bashing him over the head with a nunchuck and then dragging him to the hospital anyway.

If he’s going anywhere, he would prefer to at least have the illusion of free will while getting there.

“You’re late.” Sakura’s standing in the doorway of her office, arms crossed, and mouth in a thin, straight line.

Neji sets the two wilted azalea blossoms on her desk. “I coughed these up in the men’s room of the Golden Dragon yesterday.”

Sakura blinks. “You what?”

“Hinata-hime says that I have something growing in my chest.” He might as well say it all and hope that Tenten doesn’t have to come and visit him in the long term care ward of Konoha General’s mental breakdown division. Knowing her, she’d try too successfully to break him out and then he’d spend the rest of his days hiding in her parents’ basement or somewhere equally insane.

Sakura drops her clipboard. It skitters over the linoleum floor between them. She looks paler than usual.

He bends over and picks it up. “You should be more careful of your things, Sakura-san.”

“You said you have something growing in your chest?” Sakura accepts her clipboard from his proffered hands with nerveless fingers. “How long have you known?”

Neji considers it. “Three months or so.”

“Three—” Sakura’s mouth snaps shut into a thin, hard line. “Get on the examination table, Hyuga. We’re going to get to the bottom of this.”

He takes a deep breath — as deep a breath as he is capable of taking at the moment — and gets on the table.

It doesn’t take long for Sakura to stop probing his lungs with her chakra, turn away from him, and shriek several choice words at the opposite wall. She turns back to him with some strange cocktail of fear and sorrow in her eyes. “Who do you love, Neji-kun?”

He blinks. “I fail to see how that has anything to do with my medical status, Sakura-san.” Not exactly true. He suspects the flowers he’s been coughing up have something to do with—It’s not important.

“You have Hanahaki Disease.” Sakura’s emotional cocktail has switched straight back to rage once more. “You have late-staged Hanahaki Disease.”

He blinks again, although this doesn’t help much. “I have a disease that makes me throw up flowers.”

“Because of your unrequited love!” She throws up her hands. “Just make a confession or your only other options are a completely terrible operation or death.”

Love.

Tenten.

He swallows, hard. “Why is the operation terrible?”

“You’ll never be able to love again.” Never—what does it mean to never love again? Does it mean that he will change? He’d rather not be as he was during the days where he vowed that only destiny mattered. “You’ll forget that you’ve ever known them.” Unacceptable.

He has not cultivated this friendship, has not been joyous with her successes and and depressed with her stumbles, has not lived the past six years of his life just to forget them. “No.”

Sakura looks over her clipboard at him. “Why don’t you want to confess? I don’t think they’d reject you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“No.” Neji smiles rather sardonically. Tenten, kind, wonderful, worried Tenten, tell him his feelings are silly? He might as well try to hold the moon in his hands. “But I would rather not confess.”

He might be a caged bird, but Tenten deserves the vibrant life that she’s now living, deserves only good things and far more than he could possibly offer her.

Things are changing within the Hyuga Clan, but that does not mean that life is good, only that it is better. There’s a world of difference between better and good.

Thus, it is best if his connection to Tenten remains something like favorite teammate rather than a burgeoning romantic relationship. The Clan cannnot use something that just plain isn’t there.

“Then I will warn you that if something doesn’t change you’ll be bedridden within three months, and likely dead within the next six.” Sakura sets her clipboard aside and sits down on the floor. “Why, Neji? Why won’t you confess if you aren’t afraid of rejection?”

“I think my reasons are my own, Sakura-san.” He rises and heads for the door. “Thank you for your time.”

Since the available operation is...unacceptable, he’s left with two options, of which neither one looks particularly appetizing.

Well, he’s never been afraid of dying even if without this disease, his life has been comfortable for the past few years. At one point, he thought it was his destiny to die for something trivial. He just never thought it would be for something like unrequited love.

Take care of yourself for me, Tenten.

Temperance.

Fragile passion.

So that’s why it’s fragile. I won’t be here to enjoy it.

Well, there’s no reason that anything has to change right this moment. At least he’s identified the raw ache in his chest now.

The end progresses something like this.

There are firecrackers going off in front of Tenten’s house when he visits for New Year’s Eve. He is obligated to spend New Year’s Day inside the clan compound, observing the necessary rites, which means that he has to leave before midnight, but it’s only early evening, so there’s still time to give Tenten her present and stay awhile.

Yingyue-san welcomes him into the foyer as he slips off his snow covered shoes.

“Tenten!” Yingyue-san calls over her shoulder. “Neji-kun’s here.” Tenten’s mother smiles pleasantly at him. “You’re here just in time; the sesame dumplings are ready.”

“Neji!” Tenten crashes through the hallway in her old cloth slippers, hair loose and wet down her back in a shower of cascading water droplets. “It’s so good that you made it again this year.” She looks radiantly happy as she does every New Year’s that he’s ever seen her.

It is a tradition from the Land of Iron to wear red for the New Year, and practically every surface is covered with that same shade of bright red.

He holds up her wrapped present. “I promised I would come.”

He’s been here for enough New Year’s celebrations to know that the wrapping ought to be red tissue paper. “Is Lee or Gai-sensei here yet?”

Tenten’s face falls. “They’ve been called away for a last minute mission. Tsunade-sama’s afraid that there are people raiding Orochimaru’s old bases in the Land of Rice.”

He had been distracted enough in the recent days not to notice. “I see.”

Tenten gestures for him to follow her to the living room. “How was your trip to the hospital? We never did have time to talk about it.”

“It’s fine.” Not a lie, just an omission of the truth. “The cough will go away within the next half year.” Presumably because he’d be buried by summer, but New Year’s Eve is not the time to speak of such auspicious things.

“Half a year?” She side-eyes him. “Neji, don’t be so dramatic about it. Covering your bases gets you nowhere.” She shakes a finger in his direction. “It better be gone by this time next week, you hear?”

He laughs and nods.

“Neji! Tenten! The dumplings are ready!” Liushan-san pokes his head in around the door. “And to celebrate how well the forge is doing this year, I bought specially imported erguotou from back home.” He smiles while holding up a bottle of something that could only be the Land of Iron’s most famous white wine export.

Tenten slides off the couch. “Tou-san! You shouldn’t have!” There in that moment, with her hair in disarray and her laughing dark eyes, he is sure that he’s never seen anyone as positively radiant.

Which is of course, why there is suddenly a stabbing pain in his chest and three flowers trying to make their way up his throat.

“Neji?” Tenten’s turned back to him now. “Neji?”

His vision’s fading. “Neji!”

This is how it ends.

He wakes up in the hospital to Tenten pacing the length of his bed with the energy of a caged tiger. Her hair’s still loose, and it flies out behind her rather impressively. Sometimes, he forgets that Tenten’s hair is about as long as his own since she wears it up so often.

“Sakura told me everything.” She says before he can even open his mouth. “And then I went and bullied your sweet cousin into telling me everything else Sakura couldn’t possibly have known about.”

“Tenten—”

“How could you do something like this, Neji?” She throws her hands into the air, something like a sob in her voice, but that’s impossible, because Tenten never cries. “How could you just sit around choosing death for months at a time without ever even talking to me?”

“Tenten you deserve more—”

“I sure as hell deserve more than an idiot who would kill himself before telling me that he is literally dying of unrequited love!” She buries her face in his chest. “But I don’t want it.”

“I didn’t want to worry you.” He settles for that instead. I didn’t want to chain you down. I didn’t want to make your choices for you.

When she raises her head again the front of his hospital gown is wet.

He’s made her cry. “Not telling me made it worse, Neji.” She says watching him with her red-rimmed eyes. Tenten’s an ugly crier, which is one of the reasons why she never cries. Her cheeks are red and splotchy, and she looks like she rubbed her nose too many times. Neji doesn’t care. “I don’t get to chose you if you don’t tell me that you’re a choice.”

And he’d always known that it’d end this way if she ever found out about it. “The Clan.” He says sighs with more lung capacity than he’s had in months. “Will not be pleased if I want to become just Neji.” Tenten doesn’t have a family name.

Liushan-san once had a title that passed for a last name before he had moved his family to Konoha, but that had been left behind in the Land of Iron.

Leaving the Hyuga Clan without being dead is not a done thing.

Tenten stifles a laugh. “Then we’ll hide you in the basement until they stop trying to find you.” She twists her hands together in her lap. “It’s me, isn’t it?” She doesn’t sound certain, which is halfway silly, because she’s one, already volunteered to hide him in her basement, and two, who would he love half as dearly as Tenten?

“Of course, it is.” As if it could ever be anyone else.

“You were coughing up my favorite flower.” She says after a long pause. “Azaleas meant homesickness, from before, you know, but whenever I saw them, I’d think of home. So they were my favorite.”  

“I see.” So they had meaning for her too. “Hinata-hime said that they meant take care of yourself for me.” And fragile passion, but this love isn’t fragile. Not in the same way that other first loves are fragile.

He’d hurt her by hiding the reason for his sudden descent into illness, but still, here she sits by his bedside anyway.

She sighs. “Will you let me love you?”

The corners of his mouth turn down. “Will you hide me in your basement?”

“Of course.” She takes his hand. “Don’t be an idiot again, Neji.”

Tenten rarely demands anything from him that she wouldn’t be able to do herself.

“I won’t.”

It begins like this: a bitter bent boy meets a girl with a fire in her eyes and steel in her spine, and somehow they grow up to be better people for it.

[flourishingbatter]

Turn 8 ;  Intermission

 When the enhanced blades from Revak and Lilith were sent hurling towards Johnny, yet they hadn't taken into account that a slight misstep and re-positioning from the titan would leave this attack moot, had sent the attack to pierce wall which embedded the sharpened energy into the stone before dissipating completely.

 He was more or less, focused on trying to retract the arm as the eye slowed it's blinking yet squinted slightly shut. Whatever the case, he still needed time to recover.

The incessant pecking from the swooping Vain-Bird and the efforts of Happy whipping his vines to smack Johnny did manage to leave a stinging sensation when they hit their mark but again, the only thing this had caused was to elevate his anger. 

 Adding onto this, it didn't help that Avarice's laughter seemed to continue mocking him. The best solution to all this was for him to thrash around ; smacking away Vainglory along with kicking Happy away from him.

 Thankfully...This had worked in their favor to actually get them out of harms way as Malevolent 's energy beam crashed dead set on him as the active flow was pushing and carrying him back into a wall where upon impact, prismatic light and dust clouds burst from the blast zone, creating an explosion that to some degree, had resulted in a gaping hole to be left behind.

 ...An eerie silence soon settles, the occasion of the drafting winds whistling about the coliseum.

The storm isn’t over...Yet.

Paul | Flourishingbatter

Paul had briefly fumbled, stepping back as he had not taken into account at how crazy that attack from Malevent had been. 

Though, as soon as the moment had passed, he regains his bearings and looked towards the place where he could definitely tell that beam brought about some form of collapse, what with the rubble obscuring their sights of the titan. Frankly, he grew momentarily anxious and wondered what else would Johnny do besides...Be knocked out?

 Who knows, he wanted to call out to them but again, what type of risk would that bring? Either way, he decided to share his concern with the group he was with. "I-...Wow. Are you guys okay?"

Malevolent | @devoidmalevolence

"He's either going to be lightly toasted and really pissed or hopefully unconscious and a little crispy around the edges.... I shouldn't use food terms..." 

Mal leaned on his tail a bit, second mouth closing since the energy beam had already done it's work, he definitely needs a small rest after that attack, hadn't used it in so long it took a little more outta him than he'd care to admit

Revak | @blazing--soul

[Revak couldn't help but be really impressed... As a dragon, he couldn't help but admire the sheer power and force of a mouth-based magic attack. But of course, the dissapointment of witnessing his and Lilith's own attack become a simple gouge in the arena wall admittedly soured the mood.]

 [Giving a brief dissapointed glance to the skelewoman, as if to say "of course this is our luck", he then turned to Paul to respond to his concerned inquiry.] * I'm fine, only major damage at the moment is to my pride. Hehe... 

 [He doesn't move from a combat stance though. Never a safe moment for that unless you find your opponent defeated.] 

 * ...Though, I daresay most of that is due to a bit of healing, so thanks for that. 

[A fanged grin is thrown Hollow's way in thanks... Though, curiousity and unease starts to set in, shutting the dragon up pretty quickly. Where could he be? Surely they weren't gonna have to go through that hole in the wall, right...? His tail swished nervously behind him, his eyes, which had returned to their normal golden hue, now locked onto the new opening in apprehension of what was to come.]

Lilith | @ribbcn-bxnes

[* Allow Lilith to internally second that amazement. Not to say she couldn't attempt such an attack too but.... perhaps just because it turns out she wasn't the only one who could  fry someone with a beam of magic. Her eyes keep trained on the Titan shaped hole in the wall made by her comrade. A shame her and Revak's attack went wasted, but what could ya do. Her own tail swayed readily behind her as she responded to Paul, only turning her head slightly.] 

 "I am fine. Only minor scrapes, nothing that would hinder me."

 [* Now the only question was...was Johnny still going to rise out of that crater? And if he was, were they going to be met with an even harsher force? The maiden steeled herself as these thoughts went through her mind. Better to be ready than caught off guard.]

Hollow | @misunderstoodkings 

Hollow was standing behind Mal when he fired the laser, and could feel the backflow of energy to his core. He'd forgotten just what some Omegas were capable of in dire situations.

 He watched in awe at the destruction it caused, and luckily it seemed nobody but Johnny got hit. But, even though he was their enemy at the time, the former king was concerned, hoping he wasn't dead.

 "I'm....going to check on him..." 

The former king slowly made his way over, both out of caution and still gathering energy. He examined the large hole in the wall and the pile of debris and rubble. In the state he was in, it'd take too long to dig through, even though he was strong enough to move the rocks. 

"Any ideas on how to clear this quickly?" He asked, partly to himself and partly to the others. At the question, something sparked inside him, a yellow gleam appearing in his eye.

 "This isn't just....he just wanted to protect his friends. If he's dead, then we were no better than him. " 

There was a layer of gruffness to his voice as he spoke. Raising his trident, the large monster started to blast apart the rocks with yellow rays of energy. If anyone wanted to help, he'd gladly accept it. But he figured they'd be busy working things out among themselves.

Avarice | @thesmilingtragedy

Avarice stands somewhere at the top of the colisseum, waving some pom poms!

 WOOO! Y E A H! WOO WOO!

BANG BANG! He shot a gun into the air, living up to his name.

Vainglory | @puppet-time

Vainglory had hit the ground with a feathery SPLAT! as he was smacked to the floor by Alpha.

 He slowly got up, his form changing back into his usual form: a four mouthed flower. 

He was relieved to see that him being smacked away saved him from the wrath of the giant beam that just took down the titan. The inkling let out a cackle of victory. 

 "Aha! It appears the titan no longer stands! Mushroom pal and friends have come out on top!" He proceeded to do some sort of floral victory dance, feeling somewhat encouraged by the cheering coming from Avarice.

Revak 

[Revak couldn't help but chuckle at Vainglory's eagerness, but there was still unease in the pit of his gut.] 

 * ...Let's try not to count our chickens just yet, Vainglory... if there's one thing I know after being in so many fights... 

 [Filled with BRAVERY, the dragon cautiously makes his way towards the hole, a flame lit in his hand to aid in his vision as he attempted to peer through, without getting too close...] 

 * ...Is that things are rarely this easy.

 [Revak... wouldn't acknowledge the cheering, but would nod his head in the jokester's direction, acknowledging the presence of the strange, scribbly entity he'd ended up acquainted with.]

 [He tilted his head upon hearing Hollow speak, and frowned. He didn't like how that had been phrased.]

 * ...Listen. I don't want him hurt either. But I will not be told that we're "as bad" as him for trying to fight our way out.

 [He turned to look at the sizable old goat with a gleam of his own.] 

 * I've had to fight my way out of bad situations before, and if you wanna say that attacking something that is actively attacking, or is refusing to give us any other choice to go back to our own homes is unjust... 

 [His gaze seemed a million miles away, remembering when he and Solo watched in horror as Hellbent had sent Johnny and many others plummeting into the depths of Waterfall..  The same beast he'd narrowly escaped with his life.] 

 * Well then, you've clearly never been in true danger.

 [His golden eyes turned back to the rubble, which he would begin helping to clear with a few bolts of lightning, called down to blast the debris as he strained his eyes trying to peer deeper into the hole.]

Lilith

"There are times we have to tackle an unjust decision with unjust actions just to attempt to make it justified again. Funny and morbid as that is, I have dealt with such circumstances in my own home. It's never a desired path. Not for me."

 [* Lilith's hands planted themselves on her hips once more. God she could really use a cigarette right now... but she wasn't going to take one out to smoke around others right now. Maybe later. For now, she eyes the silent gaping hole in the wall... and the occasional flying rubble from Hollow and Revak's 'janitorial work'.] "With all those souls and the amount of power he has, I would doubt he is dead. Unconcious, maybe, but not dead."(edited)

Sela | @the-junk-sela

"... Smiley Face, get down from there." 

She sighed, now that the dust had settled. 

...At least temporarily. Her other sleeve hung unnoticed as her hand found her hip, thinking. He was certainly hitting and taking hits like a mother fucker before, she didn't think much on Hollow's grim words.

 Many things, she wanted to say to that, but chose not to. Even if being somewhat scolded like a child only made her more pissy. 

 She remains in place, slightly tense, as if waiting. Sela looked ready for a round two.

Avarice

He's too busy doing the Can-Can to get down, but he waves to Sela regardless!

Hollow

"We could have beaten him without going this far...Justice knows when to pull the punches. His defenses were going down...we would've won in a war of attrition."

 He paused in his clearing to look down at Revak, and back at the others. "But you have a point, we've never been in true danger...." As he looked back at the rubble, the yellow color flickered, "We were the danger....that is why we try to do things the right way. Because unjust actions lead to unjust results....have you never heard the phrase? Two wrongs don't make a right..." 

With that he fell silent, going back to his work. He likely wouldn't be responding again any time soon.

Sela

Her expression soured, before a 'tch' sound of annoyance escapes her. The wave from Avarice is noticed, but as her mood is low she does nothing more than acknowledge it. 

She just wants to go back home, but right now she's more willing to fight. Probably to vent her anger.

Revak

[Revak had to resist the urge to strike Hollow with lightning... But restrained himself, halting his lightning, fearing accidental friendly fire, fueled by mounting frustration.]

 * ...I see your "two wrongs don't make a right", and raise you a "sometimes fighting for what you believe in isn't the wrong thing to do".

 [Leather boots stepped closer to the hole, eager to get away from the king that was frustrating him so, brows knit in irritation.]

Avarice

A

MYEEEEGH, V i o l e n c e !

is thrown from Avarice.

Vainglory

Vainglory's dance of victory had finally stopped, and his gaze focused on Revak and Asgore's dispute. He would comment, but he was much more keen on seeing what came next. 

He accepted Revak's subtle warning with caution, looking skeptically at where the titan had stood.

Lilith

"Careful, Revak. We don't know if he is still concious." 

 [* She was still very much on edge. The sudden silence from the titan was... damn near deafening to an extent. It was giving her very, very off vibes, keeping her posture tense. She was no longer paying attention to what the Ex-King had to say, having told her two cents on the matter. For now, she would anxiously watch out for any sudden ques from the giant.]

Vainglory

"If he's concious, Vainglory guarantees he will be pissed and ready to thrash." He added, scowling. His gaze remained fixed on the hole.

 "All must hope he's down for the count. At least until a solution surfaces."

Corrupt | @corruptedflora

[After the Damage had been Done to Johnny, the Omega Went to Pick up and Make Sure Happy was Alright. He Stared at the Rubble in Silence as He Thought. That Lead to Zoning out for a While... and being Brought Back by the Voices of Other's Around Him. Funny How it got so Calm... or as Close to Calm as They could be After being Thrown Around.] 

 [He was Ready to Move if the Power-Tripping Johnny Called for it. For Now He'd Wonder About the Familiar Voices' View on Things and Why it was Unwise in the Current Situation. He would Add His Own Two Cents but Decided Against it. Dragon Boy Already had it Covered.]

Happy | @happyflowey

Happy was picking himself off the ground and was rubbing  the part of  his head where he was kicked. when Corrupted picked him up. He was surprised for a second from being suddenly lifted and a relieved "oh" escaped his mouth.

 He quietly hugged Corrupted, but he was listening to what the others were saying and frowned, especially at the words of Hollow. He mocked half of what the goat monster said about "Two wrongs don't make a right."

 * It's not like we don't fucking know that, pal. But most situations don't go down fucking peacefully, especially if someone's having a fucking power trip. It never really does. 

* Do you expect us to just passively take hits and let someone who isn't even gonna listen to reason do whatever the fuck they want with you? 

* Hell no. Unjust or fucking not I'm not taking this shit, I wanted peace this entire fucking time.  I'm pretty sure if even if we stopped there, he'd still open his god damn mouth and force things anyway! 

 Happy continued to angrily stare at Hollow. 

 * Honestly knowing how this shit goes, he probably isn't done taking a beating so we're just gonna have to smash his head in harder.

Malevolent

Mal stopped supporting himself on his tail and approached Hollow "To me it sounds like your perception of justice is very fucking flawed. Is it Just to try and trap everyone and prevent them from ever leaving?” 

“No. He clearly wasn't willing to listen and have a nice little tea party where everyone is fucking happy and there’s sunshine and rainbows and everyone meets a perfect understanding that hey this isn’t right and everyone should be free yaaay happy ending for everybody and why not we throw in some cake there too because life is perfect"

 He growled softly, tail lashing about. He had half a mind to punch Hollow, but no he would rather avoid harming temporary 'allies,' even if they would rather call everybody out for no reason other than to tell everyone that they are wrong and he is right.

Such fights are best saved for where others aren't around to get involved or in harms way, as tempting as literally slam dunking him off the massive tree like a basketball may be...

 "Standing around and doing nothing doesn't make a right either. For one who's supposed to be seen as a 'wise king' you sure don't know how to deal with a situation where fighting is neccessary." 

His expression distorted a bit and he took on a rather mocking tone, "Oh nnnooooo there HAS to be another way, fighting is wrooong" afterwards he spoke more normal once more 

"You know nothing about dealing with other beings with multiple souls, do you? When power gets to someones head, there's no talking sense into them with words. You gotta smack them down a bit THEN talk once they're off their high horse. And for the record, someone with that much power is very likely not dead, so don't go all accusing others because you think you're right and everyone is in the wrong."

Paul

Well this was...Getting heated, even without Johnny around momentarily that this Hollow person seemed weird. 

He had nothing to throw in at the moment as he didn't want to fuel the fire essentially. Still, he kept his sights trained at the hole, being the most wary about how long this was taking.

Sela

Sela has found herself a seat on the floor during all of this, chin in her palm as she listens to them all.

...The sound of a jet engine begins humming to life.

[miselleany]

On one of the many traverses into the out to walk the dog found these fun guys just hanging out. 🦋 I have this odd fascination with fungi, likely one of the morbid tendencies of mine. All things that live, die...and sometimes return to give life to something else. 🦋 Another reason...I prefer growing things to people. While mainly a gardener who prefers herbaceous perennials I have minded after both flowers & food. The mushrooms & their kin, never intentionally...but they still fascinate me so. 🦋 What things interest you others don't know about? https://www.instagram.com/p/CA3eYFeH_qm/?igshid=1cii7qldc23ja

[theburglcr]

“Finders keepers, suckers!” note: i haven’t added a quote for every single thing in the game, but it’s still a long read. i mostly just came up with the relatively ‘important’ quotes. that said, please enjoy.

Shovel- “Truly my best friend.” Pickaxe- “I love the rocky irony here.” Razor- “This is why people don’t have beards.” Hammer- “Any work well done just begs for a load of this.” Lucy the Axe- “Between you and me, he thinks ya look sharp.” Feather Pencil- “My grammar is better than most.” Brush- “Never been the hairdressin’ sort, myself.” Saddle- “But is it comfortable for the animal?” Salt Lick- “Don’t taste-test, don’t taste-test...” Miner Hat- “Never thought I’d find one again!” Endothermic Fire- “All sense is gone along with the darkness.” Mushlight- “Will my stomach glow if I eat this?” Willow’s Lighter- “I should never be trusted with this.” Bottle Lantern- “My brightest idea so far.” Buoyant Chiminea- “Water can’t steal the fire from me now.” Backpack- “Imagine all the money you can fit in there.” Piggyback- “Here’s hopin’ it’s not as sweaty.” Bug Net- “What a fearsome, vicious hunter I am.” Fishing Rod- “I hope to catch hidden treasure with this.” Straw Roll- “Sleepin’ with straw gettin’ in your clothes. Great.” Fur Roll- “This feels morbid somehow.” Umbrella- “Not today, elements.” Compass (generic)- “Wish it could point me towards treasure.” Luxury Fan- “I bet I could fly with two of these.” Siesta Lean-to- “I’m a shade master.” Pretty Parasol- “Frilly, but will do.” Telltale Heart- “Why do I hafta fix them if they mess up?” Booster Shot- “Rot injected through a bee stinger. Healthy!” Water Balloon- “Takin’ a bath the fun way.” Whirly Fan- “The things I do for a lil’ coolin’...” Bernie- “Ya don’t look like you’d be worth much.” Bundled Supplies- “Oh hoh! The thrill this brings me!” Booty Bag- “Where have ya been all my life!?” Silly Monkey Ball- “The humane solution to their meddlin’.” Anti-Venom- “Tropical insurance.” Crock Pot- “I ain’t no cook, but it should help me.” Bee Box- “They work hard, then I steal from them.” Bucket-o-Poop- “Ew. Good thing I wear gloves.” Science Machine and Alchemy Engine- “This is where the magic happens.” Thermal Measurer- “Let’s see the cold sneak up on me now.” Lightning Rod- “Never hurts to lessen the chances.” Gunpowder- “No safe is too strong!” Cartographer’s Desk- “Closest thing to an artistic outlet.” Accomploshrine- “I don’t know what I did, but I did it?” Spear- “I miss my daggers.” Boomerang- “A loyal weapon if I’ve ever seen one.” -- (hit self)- “$!@#! That smarts!” Blow Dart- “I ain’t no coward, but when in Rome...” Fire Dart- “Fear the albino dragon!” Sleep Dart- “Should I worry if I yawn after usin’ this?” Football Helmet- “I’m wearin’ the pig’s butt as a hat.” Grass Suit- “... Sure this will protect me.” Log suit- “I’m not on board with being hurt. Heh.” Marble Suit- “This armor’s the direct opposite of what I am.” Bee Mine- “Boom, bees.” Tooth Trap- “Come get a piece of me now, doggies!” Shelmet- “Function over fashion...” Snurtle Shell Armor- “A less dignified way to hide from trouble.” Scale Mail- “I’m this hot on my own, thanks.” Electric Dart- “Can’t come up with a joke. I’m shocked.” Tail o’ Three Cats- “I’m not even using it and I feel sorry already.” Spear Gun- “Now this is more my style!” Trident- “This means mermaids exist around here, right?” Cactus Spike- “Like my daggers, but much weaker. Shame.” Cactus Armor- “Always been told I’m kind of a prick.” Birdcage- “Reminds me of jail.” -- (occupied)- “I know the feelin’.” Pig House- “Wait, does this mean they have stuff inside?” Chest- “To store my stolen goods.” Scaled Chest- “Summer ain’t gettin’ to me or my stuff.” Mini Sign (drawn on)- “What? I’m an artist too, ya know.” Friendly Scarecrow- “His smile looks like my mom’s.” Wardrobe- “If it’s purely green on the inside, that wasn’t me.” Potted Succulent- “Her name is Erikita.” Sand Castle- “Totally sure this is not a waste of time.” Seaworthy (Vanilla or ROG world)- “Buenas!” Sea Chest- “Bring your stuff everywhere ya go.” Rope- “I use this often.” Purple Gem- “The downfall of the greedy.” Nightmare Fuel- “This stuff makes me uneasy.” Marble Bean- “Is there a money bean, too?” Empty Bottle- “Not very interesting on its own.” Prestihatitator- “Prestowhat now?” Shadow Manipulator- “Not sure I should be anywhere near this thing.” Pan Flute- “Makes pickpocketin’ so much easier.” Night Light- “See to $!@# believe.” Dark Sword- “Knew I had a sharp mind, but this...” Chilled Amulet- “So this is what cool people use, huh?” Nightmare Amulet- “Makes me see what I shouldn’t see.” Life Giving Amulet- “Could make a pretty penny off of it!” Telelocator Staff- “Probably dumb to mess with this. I’m doin’ it anyway.” Old Bell- “Do the work for me, big fella.” Moon Dial- “I’ve been mooned. Heh.” Piratihatitator- “Para... Piri... MAGIC $!@#!” Straw Hat- “This’ll prevent fires from startin’ on my head.” Beefalo Hat- “Convenient humiliation.” Beekeeper Hat- “I look honest in my stealin’ with this.” Feather Hat- “Probably the most colorful I’ll ever look.” Top Hat- “Rich people headwear. I hate it.” Puffy Vest- “I’m warm, but at what cost...?” Bush Hat- “Disguise 101.” Garland- “How to look pure and unsuspectin’.” Cat Cap- “I’m sorry, kitties...” Fashion Melon- “All the green doesn’t make it less embarrassin’.” Floral Shirt- “This one was made for me.” Eyebrella- “Rain is in the eye of the beholder.” Desert Goggles- “Got somethin’ in my eye... just kiddin’.” Blubber Suit- “Eugh! It’s noisy!” Windbreaker- “I’ll stop giggling when I forget its name.” Particulate Purifier- “For when chili night gets outta hand.” Shark Tooth Crown- “Bet I can impress the mermaids with this.” Dumbrella- “More like... oh, wait.” Log Raft- “I mean... nah, can’t defend this.” Raft- “It’s a slight improvement.” Armoured Boat- “Safe piratin’.” Iron Wind- “Doubles as shark chopper, too!” Boat Cannon- “Can’t be a proper pirate without this.” Sea Trap- “One step closer to a fancy dinner.” Trawl Net- “To steal junk from the sea.” Super Spyglass- “Could only dream to see this far until now.” Captain Hat- “Makes me feel like a sea cop. Feh.” Pirate Hat- “Ahoy, ye scallywags!” Obsidian Machete and Obsidian Axe- “Hot and sharp, much like me.” Obsidian Coconade- “I can feel it burn with anticipation.” Sail Stick- “To sail away from my problems faster.” Thulecite- “My highly valuable object senses are tinglin’.” Thulecite Medallion- “Ain’t useful here.” -- (calm)- “Nothin’ worth notin’.” -- (warning)- “Woah, something’s happenin’.” -- (nightmare)- “But what does it mean?” The Lazy Forager- “Nobody can blame me for snatchin’ their stuff now!” Magiluminescence- “I’m brilliant. Heh.” Construction Amulet- “Of course the green gem is the most economic one.” The Lazy Explorer- “Catch me if ya can!” Star Caller’s Staff- “Do the stars grant wishes too or...?” Deconstruction Staff- “ ‘Tis like a magic hammer.” Thulecite Crown- “Should be worth a fortune!” Houndius Shootius- “Those ancient guys were geniuses.” Birds of the World- “I like the tauraco leucotis one.” Applied Horticulture- “Good, I’m no farmer.” Sleepytime Stories- “I can’t tell if it bores me or it’s workin’.” The End is Nigh!- “Good thing I enjoy readin’ during storms.” On Tentacles- “I’ve read enough on them to know where this is goin’.” Joy of Volcanology- “Adds more than a lil’ spice to your current situation.” Kittykit- “Cute and clever, just like its momma.” Vargling- “Cachorrito!!!” Ewelet- “Smelly but soft.” Broodling- “Gosh, so ugly yet so endearin’.” Glomglom- “I ain’t one for hugs, but you’re just so fluffy.” Giblet- “Always wanted to have a chicken.” Candy Bag- “I wanna fill it to the brim with chocolate coins.” Gift- “The best things are the ones ya don’t hafta pay for.” Winter’s Feast Tree- “I feel something growin’ three sizes inside of me! Is it my wallet?” Lucky Whistle- “I HAVE THE POWER!” Charcoal- “Oh. Christmas came early.” Pine Cone- “I stole that tree’s baby. Nice.” Marble Tree- “Okay, now gold trees must be a thing.” Totally Normal Tree- “Tremblin’ like a leaf here. Heh.” Living Log- “Same.” Flower- “Green with a dash of pretty.” Evil Flower- “Green with a dash of evil...?” Cactus- “That one’s still got its daggers.” Tumbleweed- “Let’s see the trash it’s collected!” Jungle Tree- “Sensin’ lots of loot from that tree!” Snake Den- “I can hear ya hissin’, ya know.” Brainy Sprout- “The sea’s got a comparatively tiny brain.” Palm Tree (sapling)- “I’m callin’ ya Rosie.” Regular Jungle Tree- “You’re goin’ down like a sack of bricks.” Beehive- “It contains sweet, delicious treasure.” Killer Bee Hive- “Heck no.” Hound Mound- “Those barkin’ pests come from there.” Bones- “Mine will not be found like this.” Harp Statue- “Unlikely as it sounds, I don’t have the head.” Rundown House- “If you’re gonna steal an idea, make it better at least.” Merm Head- “My nose begs for mercy.” Pig Head- “This world does make ya lose your head...” Boulder- “Destruction comes with a reward.” Gold Nugget- “I might’ve been a hero in a world without this.” Grave- “Time to work!” Grave (dug)- “A job well done.” Wooden Thing- “It feels... incomplete.” -- (fully assembled)- “Long as I can take my gold with me.” Ring Thing- “What use is a ring with no jewels?” Worm Hole- “Disgust and logic say no...” -- (open)- “... Morbid curiosity says yes.” -- (exited)- “Disgust and logic were right.” Skeleton- “Thanks for the free stuff, man.” Spider Eggs- “Wonder if I can teach them to pickpocket?” Walrus Camp- “Gives a rich Walrus vibe somehow.” Mini Glacier- “Wonder how many ‘cool’ jokes it gets.” Hollow Stump- “It’s fulla hairballs on the inside.” Glommer’s Statue- “Looks important and exploitable.” -- (mined)- “Hope it was neither.” Skeleton (self)- “I meant to do that.” Florid Postern- “Got the feelin’ its beauty is just for show.” Magma- “Great, more things to be burned by.” Stagehand- “Far too pretty and harmless. I don’t trust it.” -- (walking)- “I’m always right.” Loot Stash- “Nobody leaves something like this all on its own.” Prime Ape Hut- “My old room pales in comparison to that disaster.” Magma Pile- “Now if that doesn’t beg to be dug up...” Steamer Trunk- “The sea smiles upon me today!” Volcano- “Dangerous. Something valuable must be inside.” Slot Machine- “I know better than to linger ‘round this.” Electric Isosceles- “For the insanely lazy explorer.” Octo Chest- “We’ve made a fair trade, friend.” Debris- “Ain’t proud of that one.” Wildbore Head- “Looks mad he’s dead.” Seashell- “One of these’s gotta have a pearl inside.” X Marks the Spot- “My fingers itch in anticipation!” Rawling- “I’m deranged enough, I guess.” Watery Grave- “That’s one heckuva way to die. Hah-hah!” Wreck- “I can wreck it all the more.” Volcano Staff- “If only it made it rain money instead.” Plugged Sinkhole- “A poor attempt at hidin’ a hole.” Rope to Surface- “Shame some sunlight is neccessary.” Splumonkey Pod- “Imagine all the valuable junk they’re unaware they have.” Odd Skeleton (complete)- “Well, curiosity sated. Or is it...” Ancient Statue- “Now that’s one statue worth a million.” Ancient Pseudoscience Station- “A museum would pay a lot for this, probably.” Ornate Chest- “How temptin’! It must be a trap.” Large Ornate Chest- “Outside matches the inside.” Nightmare Light- “Shouldn’t be ‘round this, however convenient it is.” Ancient Chest- “My greed is far too great to leave it alone.” Ancient Murals: -- (first)- “Those guys sure look miserable.” -- (second)- “Can’t read this...” -- (third)- “What’s that covering them? Ink?” -- (fourth)- “Eww! What the heck!” -- (fifth)- “What was that all about?!” Coffee Plant- “I did not expect these to grow here.” Elephant Cactus- “Dagger-filled cactus ready to fire!” Obsidian- “Almost sure this costs as much as it did to get.” Charcoal Boulder- “I’d save Santa some work if I mined this.” Burnt Ash Tree- “What did ya expect?” Dragoon Den- “Looks like the ideal thieves den if I’ve ever seen one.” Woodlegs’ Cage- “Nobody’s gonna be left behind bars while I’m around!” Clockwork Knight- “A knight of shinin’ metal.” Clockwork Bishop- “Never been the religious type.” Clockwork Rook- “Can hear it stomp from all the way over here.” Charlie (the darkness monster)- “Who’s there?” Charlie (attacked by)- “$!@#! Ya coward!” Hound- “Stand back! Don’t make me run!” Red Hound- “They’re fireproof now!?” Blue Hound- “They send a chill down my spine!” Hound’s Tooth- “I’m not tremblin’, you’re tremblin’.” Krampus- “You’re not even sneaky. Bad thief!” Krampus Sack- “Ah, a proper sack for a burglar.” Tentacle Spots- “Be right back, burnin’ my gloves.” Big Tentacle- “Surface doesn’t seem so bad all of a sudden.” Werepig- “I thought I could trust ya!!!” Ghost- “This time ya might just disappear.” Tam o’ Shanter- “No newsy cap, but still nice.” Mosquito- “If ya steal my blood, I’ll steal yours. Fair warning.” Mosquito Sack- “Didn’t think I could take my threat literally...” Cave Spider- “Now that’s just unfair.” Spitter- “Can’t blame it. They’re uglier up close.” Batilisk- “Yeesh, it looks so full of hate.” Meat Bulb- “Thinks it can trick me. How cute.” Fleshy Bulb- “My personal, living trap.” Eyeplant- “The plant spies with its little eyes.” Slurper- “It leeches off my lunch. Yuck.” Dangling Depth Dweller- “If they weren’t so aggressive, I’d adopt one.” Depths Worm (lure)- “Something’s very off ‘bout that.” Varg- “No! No! No no NO!” Ewecus- “Walkin’ ball of wool and gross.” Floaty Boaty Knight- “Great, the mechanical navy is here.” Poison Mosquito- “Ya can keep the poison, thanks.” Stink Ray- “Woah, man! What’s that funky smell?” Swordfish- “This fish got its own natural dagger.” White Whale- “All white, fearsome and hates everything. Like me!” Dragoon- “Sadly, they’re not intelligent enough for a truce.” Killer Bee- “Okay, I get it. I should buzz off.” Pig (normal)- “I could mug him if needed.” -- (follower)- “I’ll teach ya to steal for me.” Bunnyman- “A white ball of adorable. Like me!” Bunny Puff- “Hope they can forgive me.” Frog- “Rana o sapo?” Rock Lobster- “Well hello, potential bodyguard.” Pengull- “Lookit all that meat waddlin’ about.” Splumonkey- “Stealin’ from the thief. The nerve!” Catcoon- “I appreciate its eye mask.” Volt Goat- “I want one.” -- (charged)- “Maybe gettin’ one can wait.” Blue Whale- “Is it cryin’? Nope, just wet.” Bottlenose Ballphin- “I love you so much.” Prime Ape- “More like a prime pain in the $!@#.” Wildbore- “Doesn’t look like someone ya can steal from.” Gobbler- “Only I steal food ‘round here!” Chester- “A burglar’s second best friend.” Mandrake (planted)- “Should be picky with this one. Heh.” Glommer- “I want a statue for doin’ nothing, too.” Grass Gekko- “Your tail is grass and I’m gonna mow it.” Hutch- “There’s empty space where its brain should be.” Canary (poisoned)- “Keep your distance.” Shifting Sands- “Sure, hide like I do- I mean a coward!” Sharkitten- “One day you’ll grow up to be as fearsome as me.” Packim Baggims- “Stop hoardin’ my fish.” Parrot Pirate- “A bird after my own heart.” Seagull- “We just want to survive. Am I right?” Doydoy- “I feel sorry enough for this thing not to kill it.” Fishermerm- “Finally, someone I can steal from without consequences!” Tallbird- “Something can only be so territorial over one thing.” Tallbird Nest (with egg)- “Looks cozy in there. I can fix that.” Tallbird Egg- “Could sell this as a dinosaur egg...” Hatching Tallbird Egg- “Am I gonna be a mom? I don’t wanna.” Smallbird- “Expected ya to have more leg. Huh.” -- (hungry) “Don’t have to regurgitate something for ya, do I?” Smallish Tallbird- “I ain’t tellin’ it about the birds and the bees.” Treeguard- “I stole too many tree lives.” Spider Queen- “Gonna need a bigger sandal.” Spiderhat- “Thinks whatever a spider can.” Deerclops- “Well, $!@# me.” Ancient Guardian- “Whatever it is you’re protectin’ will be mine.” Bearger- “A thief doesn’t share her food, bud.” Moose/Goose- “Sorry, I just haven’t laughed this hard in a while.” Moose/Goose Egg- “Can’t mess with something this big.” Mosling- “Curiosity is likely gonna kill the cat.” Dragonfly- “It was nice to meet me.” Bee Queen- “Gimme your sting, Imma give that thing right back.” Bee Queen Crown- “Fool bees, get honey.” Klaus- “Lookin’ different, Santa. New haircut?” Stag Antler- “Ya better be worth all that mess.” Toadstool- “This ain’t no prince!” Sporecap- “That thing just screams magic.” Reanimated Skeleton- “It should not be alive.” Ancient Fuelweaver- “Almost wish I didn’t have to bring ya down.” Bone Armor- “It protects a lot more than you’d think.” Bone Helm- “I’m scared of usin’ this...” Shadow Thurible- “Why does it smell like money?” Palm Treeguard- “Nothin’ a good bit of fire can’t fix.” Quacken- “The bigger they are, the more loot they give!” Chest of the Depths- “Seein’ this is very satisfying.” Sealnado- “Time to break some wind.” -- (seal form)- “Killin’ it would be easy. Far too easy.” Tiger Shark- “Tigre y tiburón... Tigreburón?” Maxwell- “He used my greed against me.” Pig King- “I can smell his richness from afar.” Wes (trapped)- “What do I get if I help ya?” Abigail- “Sucks to be you.” Bigfoot- “I need new pants.” Abigail (revival failed)- “I feel kinda sad it didn’t work. Just a little.” Antlion- “I know that face. The ‘I want your things’ face.” -- (upset)- “What did I do now?!” Yaarctopus- “Snazzy getup, man.” Egg- “Like a fragile chest with tasty treasure.” Monster Meat- “This is far from a good idea.” Morsel- “Meatling.” Leafy Meat- “I can make it tasty. Just leaf it to me.” Fish- “Dad used to eat these a lot.” Eel- “Think I’m feelin’ eel.” Winter Koalefant Trunk- “Looks warm and big enough for me to wear it...” Cooked Frog Legs- “How is this fancy food?” Dead Swordfish- “Could make a good weapon if it didn’t smell so bad.” Dead Jellyfish- “I’ve always liked jelly.” Cooked Limpets- “Should stick my pinky out while eatin’ these.” Shark Fin- “The pest’s hat.” Delicious Wobster- “Now this can be called a delicacy.” Bile-Covered Slop- “May as well eat manure.” Extra Smelly Durian- “Smell’s stronger than a corpse’s.” Halved Coconut- “For the true tropical experience.” Red Cap- “Never trust red fungi.” Green Cap- “Still hardly sane to consume.” Blue Cap- “Mixed feelings...” Cactus Flower- “I see flowers awfully often ‘round here.” Bacon and Eggs- “English breakfast is weird.” Butter Muffin- “Don’t think killin’ the butterfly was neccessary.” Dragonpie- “Hopefully not as hot as it looks.” Fishsticks- “I bet a cat would love this.” Fish Tacos- “And now they will swim in my tummy.” First Full of Jam- “It doesn’t help I’m a messy eater...” Froggle Bunwich- “A delicious blasphemy.” Fruit Medley- “More delicate-lookin’ than I’m used to.” Honey Ham- “Surprisingly, it works really well.” Honey Nuggets- “Oh... gonna enjoy every part of it.” Kabobs- “I’m a culinary genius.” Mandrake Soup- “I consider this a good idea somehow.” Meatballs- “Missed these so much!” Meaty Stew- “I’d be stewpid to let it go to waste.” Monster Lasagna- “Only dogs would like this.” Pierogi- “How do I even know how to make all these neat recipes?” Powdercake- “Wouldn’t even feed this to a dog. My prey, however...” Pumpkin Cookie- “Interesting. And tasty.” Ratatouille- “Used to eat this a lot back before all this.” Stuffed Eggplant- “It’s as fillin’ at it looks.” Taffy- “Good thing I don’t care that much ‘bout health.” Turkey Dinner- “I ain’t festive, but this deserves celebration.” Unagi- “Deelicious! Heh.” Waffles- “Always wanted to try these. Mmmm.” Wet Goop- “Somethin’ went wrong.” Flower Salad- “Yes, I’m eatin’ the flower too.” Guacamole- “Not baa-aa-aad.” Ice Cream- “Ahhh, so refreshin’.” Melonsicle- “Perfect to chill with.” Spicy Chili- “ ‘Tis what I call dragon food.” Trail Mix- “What’s that I hear? Is it... jealous gobblin’?” Jellybeans- “These fattened me up as a kid.” Banana Pop- “I stabbed this banana.” Bisque- “Picky in ingredients, but worth it.” California Roll- “Fancier than I’m used to.” Ceviche- “It’s funny to see other people try to pronounce it.” Coffee- “Not a huge fan.” Jelly-O Pop- “Wonder if I can make one with peanut butter?” Lobster Bisque- “Everyone goes nuts for this one.” Lobster Dinner- “Now this is the kinda rich people food I can get behind.” Seafood Gumbo- “Dad would have a ball with this.” Shark Fin Soup- “Don’t think I can eat it with a good conscience.” Surf ‘n’ Turf- “Sure’s got a fun name.” Fresh Fruit Crepes- “Wow, looks pretty.” Monster Tartare- “Eugh! If I really gotta.” Mussel Bouillabase- “Buy... bi... uh, food.” Sweet Potato Souffle- “Sorta looks like a big muffin.” Seeds- “Normally I steal what they produce...” Honey- “Sticks to my gloves.” Butterfly Wings- “The loot of a dead bug.” Butter- “... Well then.” Rot- “Nothing is eternal, I guess.” Rotten Egg- “Takes one to know another.” Phlegm- “I’m gonna hurl.” Blueprint- “Bet this’d burn nicely! Just kiddin’.” Gears- “It’s not murder if it ain’t organic, right?” Ashes- “Nothing valuable ever winds up like this.” Red Gem- “A lively ruby.” Blue Gem- “Sapphire! So refreshin’.” Yellow Gem- “Not gold, but good enough.” Green Gem- “The best color, period.” Orange Gem- “Garnet? I’m not sure.” Manure- “Gotta be pretty bad for me to need this.” Melty Marbles- “Oh, canicas.” Fake Kazoo- “Maybe it can still hold some value.” Gord’s Knot- “Need to read that story sometime.” Gnome- “This could kill a zombie.” Tiny Rocketship- “It ain’t blastin’ off again.” Frazzled Wires- “Don’t remember cutting these off...” Ball and Cup- “Mastered this as a kid.” Hardened Rubber Bung- “Rubber harder than the sole of my boot.” Mismatched Buttons- “I’m cuter.” Second-hand Dentures- “Hope I can find a proper toothbrush instead.” Lying Robot- “Please. Brutal honesty is where it’s at.” Dessicated Tentacle- “Got the feelin’ this will make me very happy...” Webber’s Skull- “Fine, I’ll respect the dead just this time.” Pile o’ Balloons- “If only I had a reason to party.” Codex Umbra- “Smells like a bad idea.” Leaky Teacup- “Wonder if there’s a matchin’ teapot?” White and Black Bishop- “Kinda miss playin’ chess with dad.” Bent Spork- “Get bent.” Toy Trojan Horse- “This one’s actually really cute.” Unbalanced Top- “Lil’ nostalgic lookin’ at it, broken as it is.” Back Scratcher- “Ya scratch my back, I steal when you’re not lookin’.” Beaten Beater- “How much is this worth? Beats me.” Frayed Yarn- “Kitties would find it more endearin’ than I do.” Shoe Horn- “Boots are better for a reason.” Lucky Cat Jar- “If that pig’s got taste at all, he’ll know how important this jar is.” Air Unfreshener- “Should be poop-shaped instead. Ugh.” Potato Cup- “Now I, too, can drink potato-flavored water.” Wire Hanger- “My clothes may be tattered and dirty, but no longer wrinkled!” Iridescent Gem- “I like to look at it... is it lookin’ back at me?” Moon Caller’s Staff- “Now I can moon others too.” Shadow Atrium- “It should not be beatin’.” Beach Toy- “Some sandy guy could use this.” Crumpled Package- “Ya know what they say. One man’s garbage...” Venom Gland- “Fight fire with fire.” Dubloons- “Yes!! Proper money!” Message in a Bottle- “Not now, I’m busy lookin’ for treasure.” Snake Oil- “Tryin’ to fool me. For shame.” Orange Soda- “Sodarn excited to find this.” Voodoo Doll- “Do I or do I not have the heart to ‘play’ with it?” Ukulele- “Well, Aloha O’e.” License Plate- “M’sure I can use this for something...” Ancient Vase- “Ancient things are for museums. Museums pay for this.” Brain Cloud Pill- “Can’t remember what it does. Memory’s foggy.” Wine Bottle Candle- “Waste of good wine.” Broken AAC Device- “Doesn’t seem at all valuable like this.” One True Earring- “Sounds like something worth a fortune!” Old Boot- “Looks good to kick bums with.” Sextant- “Heh. Heheh.” Toy Boat- “I wanna paint a skull and crossbones on the sail.” Soaked Candle- “May have some use still.” Sea Worther- “Feel like a scallywag for not knowin’ what this is.” Iron, Bone and Golden Key- “It unlocks something important. I can feel it.” Tarnished Crown- “Doesn’t seem like sellin’ material.” Failed (Adventure Mode)- “That was a waste of resources.” Obelisk (sane, down)- “This thing gives me a bad feeling.” -- (insane, up)- “So it wasn’t decoration!” -- (sane, up)- “Lemme guess. I can’t blow it up.” -- (insane, down)- “Whoa, who chopped it down?” Divining Rod (before being picked up)- “Why is that radio on a stick?” -- “You’re gonna be a useful friend.” -- (cold)- “Who knows where it is...” -- (warm)- “Must be in this area.” -- (warmer)- “Gotta keep my eyes peeled!” -- (hot)- “It’s mine now!” Maxwell’s Door- “A creepy door in the middle of the woods. Hm.” Maxwell’s Phonograph- “Make that thing stop!” Maxwell Statue- “Vandalism just waitin’ to happen.” Maxwell’s Tooth Trap- “Nice try, old man.” -- (went off)- “Nicely done, old man...” Nightmare Throne- “My butt hurts just lookin’ at it.” Generic- “Heck if I know.” Freedom- “No prison is eternal!” Freezing- “$!@#, I’m cold!!” Battlecry- “De España con amor!” -- (prey)- “Right behind ya.” -- (pig)- “Time to smash the piggy bank!” Leaving combat- “Not my kinda approach anyway.” Dusk- “The sun hides as crime awakes.” Hounds are coming- “I hate that sound.” Deerclops is coming- “What the heck was that!” Eating (painful food)- “Oof. That wasn’t wise.” Hungry- “El hambre...” Lightning miss- “Gave me a $!@# scare!” Overheating- “I’m meltin’...!” Tree shelter- “Nature ain’t so bad, after all.” Giant arrival- “I know for a fact that’s no good.” Refusing to eat Eternal Fruitcake- “I’ll never be desperate enough.” Cave-in warning- “Keep movin’! Keep movin’!” Encumbered (carrying heavy object) - “Hrng... Huff...” - “I ain’t... made for this...!” - “This... is no work... for a thief...” - “Ugh... my everything...” Volcano eruption warning- “Be prepared.” Volcano eruption- “Run like heck and don’t stop!” Sea hounds are coming- “Not even in the sea...” Sealnado is coming- “Pretty windy today, huh.” Map border approaching- “A dead end. Or is it?” Entering map border- “Who knows by this point.” Exiting map border- “Whatever the case, we’re here now.” Riding wave- “Yeehaw!” Formal Set- “Nobody suspects a thief under this perfect look.” Survivor Set- “Sometimes, to find the diamond in the rough, ya gotta become rough yourself.” Shadow Set- “Now acceptin’ worship in the form of your valuables!” Halloween Costume Set- “Monkey business afoot.” Rose Set- “I am now even more of a prick.”