#muse monday
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Hi Nopal! I've got a Muse Monday question for Axtapor, if you wish to answer in character:
Can you describe Mariel to me the way you know her? What do you love most about her?
Can you describe Mariel to me the way you know her?
Let me understand ye true. Ye want me, with words proper, to tell ye what it feels to have the sun shine on ye? Or to catch wind in yer sails? 'Haps next ye been fit to ask what sittin' 'side a fire durin' midwinter time feels as! She been my wee star, my wee daft thin', my wee cream puff, my blessin'... Everythin' good in this bleedin' world and 'haps any other. She been strong, stronger than I, and givin'. She been funny too. Nay been so sly though. And shite at cards. But, by and by, that fool god Orran did one good thin' and it been to create her.
What do you love most about her?
Choosin' just one thin' been a keen torture. The sight of her wee face and smile been enough to melt ye. The way her hands land sweet in mine. The way she laughs when somethin' been pleasin' to her or how her wee lips form a pout when I take to pesterin' her. How gentle her heart be. She been a gentle creature. Nary 'nother gentler than my Mariel. But, as ye been askin', it been her eyes that I love most. They be...lovin'. She makes me feel as I been the only one to exist when she claps 'em on me. As if I been somethin' special and worthy, no just some dumb bastard with luck grander than Kava. She been deservin' of a better man than I... Can only hope she keeps choosin' her days with me and no 'nother.
#thanks for the ask!#nopal answers#aasoaf#axtapor#mariel#muse monday#brb going to lay down and cry now#WAAAAAHHHHHHH#wherein axtapor screams “MY WIFE” for an hour straight#he simp the littol clown
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A belated Muse Monday to you! This one is for your Fay: What is your approach/strategy to a successful back to school shopping trip?
"Strategy" is the right word for it. If you go in without a plan, you're gonna come out with twice as many school supplies as you went in for. Because the school gives you a list, but that's not what your kids want. I tried "you can get three things that aren't on the list" but then of course they found the most expensive stuff and didn't even use it. It went on the shelf, like we were making a shrine to paisley duct tape. So the next year I said "here's your budget. You can get whatever you want if you're going to use it AND it's in the school section"—you know they were going to get creative if I gave them rules but not enough rules. I was not going to buy Isabel another belt that would start peeling within the month. And, you know, if they went over by a few cents that was no big deal. You have to lowball those budgets anyway because then they're both trying to strongarm you into more bonus school supplies and you gotta have space to say yes, to a point. Because they go batshit about that stuff. The stamp markers, the animal magnets, the glitter glue, the thing they don't even like that has their TV character du jour on it—like, I don't blame them, but you don't get it for free because it's cool. As they got older I just sent them to the store to get it all themselves because they liked it better that way, and most of what they have to get is on the list anyway. I'd check it after they got back, but they usually got everything. After the first time paying with cash Isabel wore me down until I let her have my credit card—and to her credit she used it like she was supposed to, mostly.
Oh, yeah. [sighs] Back to school is clothes, too, isn't it? At Isabel's middle school there were uniforms, and I always had to modify them because they never fit her right, but at least they were easy to buy. In high school, though—both of them—it was a nightmare. Because the stores put all the damn clothes right out where you can see them going down the main aisle and SAY that they're on sale but both of my children always wanted the stuff with characters on them and you can FEEL yourself paying for the licensing. I basically just handed them the money from their asshole father and said "go ham but you have to send him a picture of how happy you are with your weird t-shirts, okay?" So I guess he was good for one thing.
Nicea taglist: @kahvilahuhut @kk7-rbs @outpost51 @writernopal @athenswrites
#this was a delightful question. I've been thinking about it for almost two months now I guess#c: Fay#c: Isabel#c: Rodney#muse monday
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Hello, and happy Muse Monday! :D I'm gonna gun for someone other than a Magical Mistakes character today—gasp! For Lucifer, who is your greatest fear? 8) 8) 8) As in, who do you fear the most? 8) 8) 8) 8)
Happy Muse Monday, sweet Jax!!
Since I have TWO Lucifer’s you get a double answer!! 😂🤣
For Lucifer who is Abriella’s grandfather in @theimperiumchronicles -
My single greatest fear in all creation is my grandson, Cruz. Now that may seem odd given that Abriella’s step-dad is on known to pull the wings off of other beings, but at least he leaves them living. The Divine, aka Dad, again he kicked me out of Heaven, but I'm alive and Hell wasn't that bad. The problem with it was that I couldn't see HIM anymore and he wouldn't take my calls. It hurt, but I was still alive.
Cruz, he doesn't leave things alive. When Abriella pinned me to the wall of the ballroom, I knew it was a mercy. Had Cruz finished with me, I would have been no more. See, there is no afterlife for my kind. When we're done, we're done. So when I took on my grandson, it was a gamble. Shortly after starting that skirmish, I realized my miscalculation. If he were to wish me ended, he could, and unlike the other Horsemen, his capacity for mercy is far less.
For Lucifer from @devil-in-the-details-ay
I fear fucking no one. Did you see my son-in-law come in and try to intimidate me with that whore of a daughter of mine? Did you see me flinch? NO! Of course not. I'm Lucifer. I'm the King of Hell. There is no one that can intimidate me.
*demon sticks his head in and announces a gift from Lord Astaroth*
See, he has learned the err of his ways and is asking forgiveness. *grins*
*opens box to find wife's head and note reminding Lucifer who the Lord of Death is. Lucifer pales significantly *
I still don't fear him
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Happy belated Muse Monday! This one is for Gullin: What is your 'type'? (Applicable to friend, adversary, lover, or choice of weapon!)
You mean, beyond the fact I'm into men? According to Catnip, I don't have a type, and to be fair, I haven't noticed a pattern either. See, here's a problem with being the youngest brigadier in history. Anyone your age is much more junior in rank. Any senior officer outside my chain of command is multiple times older than me. And you could say, folks much older than me ain't my type. So my choice is fairly limited. It's not so bad though, I'm not looking for a relationship, and there are plenty of Guild-certified brothels in Redguard.
As for friends, smart and funny is a good start, but really, it just needs to 'click', you know?
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Hello and happy Muse Monday! I'm so sorry, but I couldn't resist. Selene, what could you tell me about the dragons of your world? And have you/the others ever encountered one? 8)
*Selene grins and immediately summons a large stack of books onto a table* Right then, let's get started.
The origins of dragons upon the world of Titan are actually a little shrouded in mystery. The creation myth of our world dictates that the dragons were created by Kilanirax, the King of Dragons, in collaboration with Glantanka, the Mother of our world. This seems to bear out for the vast majority of dragons on Titan, though there are some exceptions to that rule, but I'll get to those in a minute. It's unknown how many dragons Kilanirax created, but among them was the Night Dragon, the first dragon to be corrupted by Evil. How many of his kin followed suit is also unknown, but many of the most evil dragons in our world are likely descended from the Night Dragon.
We tend to group dragons by the colour of their scales as this is the easiest way for the layman to identify the various types, though each colour is also distinct physiologically and each has a reasonably distinct breath weapon- though some subspecies share an elemental type, the way the breath weapon is utilised between the subspecies is still reasonably distinct. Each colour grouping also has distinct personality traits that they share with others of their subspecies. However, there is still a degree of variation between individuals in each subspecies, as the dragons are an intelligent and fully sapient life form fully capable of speech and wielding magic. All subspecies are grouped together into two distinct cohorts, chromatic and metallic, with the chromatic dragons being generally considered evil and descended from the Night Dragon, while the metallic dragons are considered at least neutral to the rest of the world and are descended from those First Age dragons that remained uncorrupted by Evil (yes, there's a difference in this world between ordinary evil and the Evil that caused corruption in our world. That is a whole other story I'm not going to get into right now).
There are rumours that there are Gem dragons around as well, though where they have come from is a hotly debated topic. I have it on good authority that at least one of them seems to have been a direct creation of Throff and may be the only example of a First Age Gem Dragon on Titan, with the others theorised to have arrived when the Outer Gods (Pelor, Correllon , Moradin etc) found our plane and took on followers (just don't ask me when that was, it was enough of a headache trying to avoid another dwarven religious war from breaking out when Edwin and I told the dwarves of Fangthane what we found in the God Vault with the portal to Mechanus in it). Other, more elementally-aligned, subspecies of dragon are also found here and there, though it's obvious they've come through minor portals and tears from the Elemental Planes.
As far as dragons I've met, there are a few. I never got to meet Kypris myself, but I did get to meet his mate and numerous children during my first adventure, though Alexis did recall her interactions with Kypris quite fondly. Then there's Karlylax *shivers*. Karlyax was a Dracolich, one of the most evil creatures I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, and he was the one responsible for Kypris' demise. So, naturally, we were asked to find and destroy him. We did, after an extremely hard fought battle and, hopefully, he will never rise again.
Then there's Old Red, the dragon that took over Firetop Mountain and is Toreguarde's comparitive neighbour. He's not exactly pleasant, but we did manage to make a deal with him to protect the area around his mountain during the Demon War. I don't think he's entirely happy that Drakemar came along and took Toreguarde as his own. I think the two of them have some sort of history with one another, though I'm not stupid enough to ask either of them about it. I value my life as it is a bit too much to risk it.
While not common knowledge, there are some in the upper echelons of the Toreguarde Council (the Triumverate chief among them) that know that Drakemar is a dragon. That's something kept a bit close to the chest though, as most people dislike the idea of a Red Dragon, in particular, having any sort of authority over their lives. Not that Drakemar actually has anything to do with the running of Toreguarde besides taking taxes these days, but he does come along to protect the city if the need is dire enough, and he's not busy defending Wyrmholme.
I did meet Silver and White dragons during my adventures too, and visited the lair of a Green dragon by the name of Arakas at one point.
Then there's Harbinger, a dragon that likely came from the Elemental Planes during the recent Ragnarok Event. He was an ancient Pyroclastic dragon, and he set about trying to level Toreguarde to the ground, starting with the wizard's tower and the surrounding area. It's only thanks to Elowyn and her friends that only the Wizard's Quarter sustained any major damage at the time.
Of course, I can't forget Aurianna either. I don't know much about the hows and whys of the link she shares with Elowyn (you'd need to ask them directly), but she is the dragon I have the most contact with these days, even if she's normally in the form of a cat.
I'll be happy to waffle on some more if required, but that covers the basics of your question, I think. I hope my answer was useful to you.
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Hello hello, and happy Muse Monday! For the Archivist, what's one autumn tradition that you miss from your home world?
(Answering below in character as per the rules of Muse Monday...)
Autumn... it would be that time of year now, wouldn't it, with the equinox not long past. Or would it be spring? Hard to say with this place only having two real seasons to speak of, dry and rainy. And the Village is just barely south of the equator, so I suppose that technically offsets the seasonal cycle as well.
Autumn... what was it like again? No, that's too dramatic a wording. I haven't forgotten, it's just that I have to concentrate on it. It's a period defined by transition. Spring is the beginning of warmth. Summer is a middle and heat. Winter is a cold ending. But autumn? Autumn is the space between. A winding down and a handing off. A stop to take a breath. Seasons are cycles and all of them are in perpetual transition to the next, but none of the others embody it so fully.
But that doesn't say what it was like, now does it? It varied with climate, of course, but most archetypically it was defined by the changing of the leaves on trees. For many species in many places their leaves would, for a few months, change from green to a vibrant spectrum of reds, oranges, and browns. Warm colors set alight in contrast to the falling temperature. And along the way the leaves would begin to fall in preparation for the cold and dark of winter, lending the season it's other name. Fall. It was my favorite season, I think. I have this impression of being from someplace too warm to get much of the classical look of autumn in the trees, but being surrounded by the imagery all the same. It was the perfect time of year for me to be outside, with the overbearing heat of summer finally gone but the biting chill of winter not yet arrived. For all that it's the season of life winding down, I do believe it was the season in which I felt most alive. One would think that spring should have been similar, but something about it just wasn't the same. And once again I am reminded that my body must have changed when I came here to tolerate this endless summer so well.
Autumn... what were its holidays again? Those are always so hard for me to recall. Strangely, it seems that the only ones I can remember the names of were the ones I know I didn't celebrate. There were four in that season I observed though. Or maybe it was two holidays and two days with personal significance. At any rate, I can only remember anything about two holidays in that part of the year. One was, if I recall, much like the solstice celebrations here. A time specifically meant above all else as being for gathering with family and loved ones, culminating in the sharing of a meal.
The other one though, it tugs on my memory more than any other now that I turn my mind in its direction. I suspect it was my favorite, not only of the season, but of the year. How do I describe it in a way that anyone in the Village could understand? It was just such a strange one, lacking the ties that most other holidays had to religion or patriotism. Then again, how would I even describe patriotism to people from a world consisting of exactly one Village? Suffice to say, it had unusual cultural roots compared to most others. And as for what it was even celebrating there was a fascinating duality to it. On the one hand, it was a holiday about confronting and embracing fear, horror, darkness, and death. On the other hand it was a time of playful whimsy that turned the darkness into something fun. Alluring. Familiar even. Whether one leaned more to one side or the other or found a way to blend them was entirely a matter of individual preference. It was a time for those who didn't fit in or harbored love for things other found unsettling to embrace that about themselves. And on the day itself the tradition was to don a costume and be something, or someone else for a night, whether that be a monster, a character from a story, another profession, or a walking joke. Or for some, it was a chance to doff the figurative mask they had to where for the rest of the year and have a moment to be themselves for once. In many places, houses would be decorated for the holiday with symbols and figures of horror made whimsical and costumed children would go from door to do as the houses' residents handed out sweets. Something like the equinox festival here, except with everyone dressed as a shade all at once.
If autumn is a season of transition and liminality, of things changing from one form to another and nothing being as it was seems or will be, then that holiday may have been the purest concentration of that.
Autumn... once upon a time it meant so much more to me than a change in average ambient air temperature. More than just another step in the natural cycle and its cultural associations. It was dear to me... I think. I find myself thinking of how when I first arrived here I cried tears of joy at not recognizing myself in the mirror and didn't know why. I still don't, not entirely, but now I wonder if my love for that holiday was for a similar reason. Perhaps it is for the best that I can't recall it viscerally enough to miss as acutely as I otherwise might in this world of endless summer.
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Hello! This is a Muse Monday ask for Lonel, if that’s alright!
What are some of the positive and negative aspects of your job?
He shifts in his seat, leaning back with his ginger ale in his hand, blue eyes holding your gaze.
“Should have seen it coming, right?” he jokes, however he doesn’t smile. Gaze fluttering to his drink, before he shifts his attention back to you. You have an odd feeling as if he is either regarding or reading you. You can’t help but look away for a moment. “Some would say the positive is this. You learn to make people act as you want them to. You read them after a while, even if you don’t want to. With very little actually said, you can know a lot more about strangers than you usually would be able to. But, some say it’s the negative too.”
He takes a sip, releasing you from his stare.
“You make people uncomfortable. In our profession, you need to be empathetic. And we are. Yet, we need to keep it in mind that this is a job. However, distance make people uncomfortable no matter what.”
#muse monday#answering asks#Lonel#Project Lonel#thank you for the ask sweetest <33#didnt want to drag out too much#(((((((i also need to do more research on the job lmao tho i already have many resources i went through))))))
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Happy Muse Monday!!
Becca Darkwaters, what is the biggest challenge you've faced as female pirate?
Aye, want the honest or the answer everyone gets?
*She sticks her tongue to her cheek, head in her neck with a challenging glance*
Dealing with those bullheaded morons of pirate captains is surely a challenge, especially for those who had been sailors before changing their paths. Superstitious and stupid bunch, I tell ya. There was more than one run-in with them that ended in one of them losing their pants in the not so amusing way. Well, not for them, but surely for me, but a cut belt will teach them to behave, hopefully.
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[Muse Monday!] Hello, Isley! What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever gone through, and how did you get through it?
Hi Jax! Thanks for the question!
Soon after my friend and future bandmate Micah moved to our town, I got suspicious that his foster dad -- despite being a highly respected police officer -- was corrupt and setting him up to take the blame for something he didn't do. So I enlisted our mutual friend Bo to try to trap this guy into confessing. Needless, to say, she wasn't thrilled with the idea of me, seventeen, never having done anything even remotely dangerous in my life, skulking around in some spooky woods at midnight to trap someone potentially dangerous in an attempt to help a boy I barely knew. Of course, I was terrified, but I couldn't let her know that.
“Don’t," she said. "I’m not an idiot. You like him, okay? You want something more. And after the way he was raised, I’m not even sure he knows how to give that. To anyone.” “So that’s it?” In the oak across the street, a family of crows sent up a sudden, harsh protest when a hawk crashed their party. “You think he’s going to break my heart?” “Uh, yes? But also, he’s not worth it. Yes, he’s talented, yes he is so beautiful, but he’s a throwaway kid. He will never repay you. He will never be able to give you what you want.” “You’re wrong.”
As to how it went, I'll let you speculate. 😂
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Hi Tess! I'm not sure if you accept Muse Monday asks, but this is your excuse to answer a question as Adrin (in-character):
What scares you the most? Who knows about this fear and how did they find out?
Hey, Sam! I’ve never answered questions in character before but I’ll give it a whirl!
I’m afraid of quite a lot, as much as it pains me to admit. Horses, bears, insects…The one fear that keeps me up at night, only Mara knows, and that’s because it scares her too. I can see it in her eyes.
Neither of us can live with failure. Mara’s last failure nearly killed her, and mine actually did kill Sophie. I swore after that day that I’d never fail another person.
#muse monday#answered asks#have some super ominous foreshadowing#wip: tomb of light#silver sentinels#oc: Adrin
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Happy Muse Monday! This one's for Axtapor and/or Fay: would you ever consider serving on a spaceship? Why or why not?
~ @void-botanist
(you can take "spaceship" to be as futuristic as you want. the main point is that it's different from a sea ship)
(I'll answer this as Fay and for the sake of the question we'll pretend she knows what a spaceship is bc thats more fun haha)
Serving? Do you know who I am? I don't serve anybody. Pity the captain of any flying tub who thinks they can control me.
These spaceships of yours. They're interesting. I can't say I haven't wondered about the heavens. Any sailor worth their salt watches them, you'd never go anywhere otherwise and it would be idiotic to think they were created for navigation. But to go there? Hmm...
They tell stories, whoever they are, that dragons and faefolk come from the heavens. If that's true, then you'd come across either one eventually. And you'd have nowhere to hide. Normally, I'd like the sound of that. But you don't get to live and die then live again like me without weighing your odds.
So, ask me again when you've got a spaceship and I've killed a dragon and faefolk each.
#thanks for the ask!#nopal answers#aasoaf#fay#dragons#faefolk#aasoaf lore#muse monday#the woman who never turns down an opportunity#but merely says 'not yet'
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Hello hello, and happy Muse Monday! This one's for Avis: Avis, what one, single event in your life is your biggest regret?
The moment I let my parents back into my life. They're assholes. Always have been. But when I was in college they had a fire, lost most of their shit, their house was gone—I didn't live there anymore, and they survived, so like, whatever. But of course they came around begging me to let them stay in my apartment. 'Just one night'. And then it was 'just one week', 'just one more week', while they filled up my living room with their new shit and ate all my food, and—they fucking ate my fucking breakfast for my 8 am final exam. I didn't fail the class, by the way, somehow, but after that I came back and packed up their bullshit and loaded it all into their car and left them a note that said their 'just one week' was up. When they tried to talk to me I just shut the door in their faces and eventually they left. And I haven't talked to them since. Good fucking riddance.
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[Muse Monday!] Hi, Carmen! If you could summon one person back to the world of the living as a ghost, who would it be and why?
friend, i can't tell you how ironic it is to ask carmen in particular this question. and i won't. here's her answer:
"A ghost! That's fun. It would be fun to believe in ghosts. I think I read something about Shadow Mages being able to communicate with spirits once. Let me see...
"Oh, what am I thinking? I would bring back Leone Kaya, of course! He was the original konyenon. Because of him, 'Valerius rises,' as the Archmages would say. There's quite a bit written about his sacrifice, but nothing in detail. Accurate detail, anyway... it's a lot of poetry and song. But... if I'm to be the konyenon, to carry on his legacy... I think I should know what he gave, so that I can properly raise Valerius too. And imagine the insight-- the inspiration-- he could bring us! Yes, there's simply no other option. That's my answer. Thank you for the question!"
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Happy Muse Monday (@blind-the-winds idea of answering questions in character)! To Ianim, you introduced your friends to marshmallows, what else are they uncultured in that you feel you must rectify?
Why, thank you for the question!
I have indeed tried. In terms of food, I know Gullin doesn't have a sweet tooth. With Lissan, my first attempt was to bring him brushwood cakes - you know those strips of white dough deep-fried in lard, so thin that they crumble in your fingers? He liked them well enough, but can you imagine, he complained that they were sweetened with beet sugar, which isn't as aromatic as honey. I suppose he's more used to homely dishes, and he genuinely enjoys them. He will try something new every now and then out of curiosity, but he doesn't have a deeper desire to explore foreign or otherwise unfamiliar cuisine.
Other than that, I have offered my advice regarding their outfits, and while Lissan is amenable enough, I swear Gullin wears that old jacket of his purely to tease me. I know when to consider something a lost cause, and besides, he'd look good in just about anything.
I can't imagine either of them enjoying classical music, though Gullin has some innate talent for dancing - and he'd let me teach him some ballroom dances back at the Academy, when it was just the two of us.
Still, I have a feeling they agree to my attempts only to humour me or to enjoy my company more than the activity itself, and I can't begrudge them for it. At times, I envy how little they need to enjoy themselves.
#ask and i shall answer#oof i am out of practice writing Ianim's voice#thank you for this!#this was fun#muse Monday#Ianim#days of dusk
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Happy Muse Monday! :D For as many as the heroes as you'd like (they are absolutely allowed to discuss this question): What's the best sort of tea, and what's the best thing to serve with tea?
Selene: Thank you very much for your question, we're so sorry it took so long to get around to answering.
Edwin: Wrangling two children for a visit to another city on the other side of Allansia was a bit more difficult than we expected. Meredith and Yoruk are here too, they're just hanging back a bit.
Selene: Quite. Nonetheless, we have some time now, so let's answer this question. I'll start. While I am partial to several different types of tea, my favourite has to be the spiced Khullian variety. It's hard to get a hold of, and therefore ridiculously expensive, but having friends in high places helps a lot. When that's not available, I generally settle for dandelion. As to what is the best thing to serve with tea; anything that's sweet and baked. Scones are a favourite, especially with jam and cream, but don't ask which order you should put either condiment on, that's just asking for an argument.
Edwin: That's because you insist on doing it wrong. Anyway, I'm a man of fairly simple needs so I stick to nettle tea, though I can be persuaded to have some blackberry tea when it's in season. AS to what I think is the best thing to have with tea; much like Selene, I prefer sweet baked goods. Fangthane rock cakes, while an acquired taste, are best when served warm and slathered in butter with a mug of freshly brewed tea. I must admit to missing having these regularly now that I'm ministering in Toreguarde instead, but Oakrose is doing her best to find a recipe that she can manage to bake for me that doesn't require too many ingredients from Fangthane.
Meredith: Oh, it's my turn. Alright then, greetings and well met and all that. To be honest, I'm not much of a tea drinker myself. Had too many experiences with the medicinal teas that were shoved down my throat as a wean to want to bother. However, while I was pregnant wi' Gavid, I couldn't drink Bloc, so I had to make do with teas instead. The only ones I could stomach in the end were peppermint and ginger. Ginger's a right pain in the arse to get a hold of here, so I was mostly on the peppermint. Got right sick of it after the fifth month, but what can ye do? Anyway, the best thing I found to have with those was tablet. The sweetness offset the aftertaste of the peppermint, but it wasn't so sweet as to be sickly. Not that I was allowed much of that either *falls into grumbling in dwarven*.
Yoruk: I suppose I'll take the opportunity to answer while ma wife's otherwise distracted. Like Merri, I prefer Bloc to teas generally, but I am partial to blackberry and raspberry tea when they're on offer. They were a favourite afternoon tea treat in the summer while I was growing up. I suppose it helped that we had a large enough garden to grow our own fruit in so the kitchen staff could make their own jams and preserves. We were lucky enough to live directly under one of the air shafts and that it let in enough sunlight to grow such things. I adored having the sweetbread rolls with it, on the rare occassion I was permitted to have any as... well... there were others in the family who were more senior who liked them just as much and weren't too willing to share.
Selene: I'm not too sure if Elowyn and Snotgrut said they were visiting as well, but for those of us currently present, I hope that answered your questions.
#writeblr asks#muse monday#answered ask#titan fighting fantasy#selene frigidwake#edwin goodwin#meredith gruksdottir#yoruk bloodvein
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[Muse Monday!] Hello, Mika! What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever gone through, and how did you get through it?
The scariest thing so far was seeing my mother die within a few months from cancer when I was barely an adult myself. I still don't know how I managed to get through this and work to pay for the apartment and stuff.
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