#murder was the case remix

[djevilninja]

No more indo, gin and juice. I’m on my way to Chino, rollin’ on the grey goose. Shackled from head to toe, Twenty-five with a izz-L, with nowhere to gizzo.

Snoop Doggy Dogg - Murder was the Case (Remix)

[autisticandroids]

outsider pov

time is fake. these are some outsider pov fics for @spnficrecfest. there's a lot of conceptual overlap here with my casefic reclist, since i'm such an enthusiast for law enforcement chasing the boys. any crossovers do NOT require familiarity with the crossed over material. all of these are gen.

in order of wordcount:

identity theft solutions by ivyfic, 1k

a guy gets a letter in the mail from a bank he doesn't have an account with about a credit card he's never used.

the glomourous life of john dillinger by dwarfankylosaur, 1k

henriksen and his partner have a bet. extraordinarily charming.

not long enough by gayeld, 1k

salmondean tell victor about the supernatural. in particular, meg.

the outsider by denihil, 1k

henriksen has some sympathy for sam.

breathe on, sister (they pass me by remix), 1k

henriksen puzzles over sam and dean saving people from a fire. i would read the fic it's a remix of as well, if i were you.

days without feathers by pyrebi, 1k

jess's mom sees sam on tv.

the mysterious cold oak murders by anonymous, 2k

buzzfeed unsolved does an episode on the events of all hell breaks loose part 1.

perseverance by grumkinsnark, 2k

henriksen interviews a series of season one characters in search of the winchesters.

paper weight by vaznetti, 3k

kathleen hudak, from the benders, pokes into the winchester case at henriksen's behest.

the death defying mystery of the brothers winchester by dyed_red, 5k

buzzfeed unsolved again, this time on our boys.

the angel killer by vikki, 5k

cas is caught by the cops, circa season five.

the henricksen files by ante down, 9k

technically abandoned, but it's more a series of codas and character studies than a story, so it being abandoned doesn't really matter. so old it was written before henriksen's name spelling was canonized. this fic is a series of henriksen-centric codas, following him as he follows the winchesters over the course of season two. it has some of my favorite henriksen characterization, actually.

no way out iii by kelincihutan, 21k, violence warning

criminal minds crossover. real feds meet fake feds, and problems ensue.

minimal loss (what a joke) by eden22, 26k

criminal minds crossover. the feds go into a hunter compound. they meet some hunter children, including ten year old sam and fourteen year old dean. they try not to cause another waco.

this fic is one of the ones that i revisit when i want to be reminded that fanfiction can be good. it's THAT good.

the right to remain silent by boundlight, 27k, chose not to warn

svu crossover. tfw are caught by the cops in new york. i lied, this one is destiel.

nothing to see here by innie, 30k

a canon divergence starting from in my time of dying. kathleen hudak chases the winchesters. a number of other things also happen. john makes a different deal.

[artyandink]

amoralism | six

Summary: You and Dean Winchester are the top agents from Major Crimes. You’re also assigned as partners on the same case- a crime syndicate is running loose and buying out most of downtown New York. He hates you cause you hate him. You hate him cause you think he got in his position with his daddy’s influence. But this case is personal to one of you more than the other- and you may be getting too personal for comfort.

TW: So much sexual tension it’s illegal, Agent Dean Winchester (yes, he’s a warning in itself), mention of murder, murder, Knights of Hell but they’re just murderous humans, description of injuries, gunshot wound, description of gore, blood, use of firearms, a mole in the FBI, office shenanigans, President Shurley, Asmodeus, Lucifer, Azazel, smut (very hardcore smut)

STW: marking, missionary, riding, protected sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f. receiving and implied m.)/face sitting, brief handjob, dom Dean (switch if you squint, also Dean’s an everything man), sub reader, really filthy stuff, light choking, thigh slapping, dirty talking cause FBI Dean’s a slightly rough dom and he’s good at this

A/N - I might have cooked with this chapter, who knows :)

Song Inspo: Crazy in Love (Remix) by Beyoncé (listen to this during the first scene I am not kidding it does wonders for the soul)

SERIES MASTERLIST

authoritarianism

You felt dizzy. You felt intoxicated. You felt amazing.

Dean’s lips moved hot and fast against your own, one hand of his sliding to grab the strands of your hair between his fingers and keep your mouth occupied, the other moving to grab your waist and cage you in his arms, against the rippling, irresistible planes of muscle.

One hand of yours was tracing every dip and curve of his upper back while your other was carding through the wet strands of his hair. His shampoo, conditioner and body wash acting as a drug - a stimulant - for your pressured mind.

A drug that you wouldn’t be arrested for.

You felt that muted haze dissipate and another replacing it. One more heated. Welcome. One that made your head spin and your lips collide with Dean’s over and over again, that is until his lips veered off to burn a trail down your neck.

Your head tipping back to show the artist his canvas.

Open mouthed and reverent, pressing onto your skin like claiming stamps, gripping your hair to tilt you to his liking while his other hand groped and squeezed whatever he could reach. Feeling you up with possessive intent.

To claim you.

Make you his.

His free hand slid to your ass, massaging it, kneading it in his strong fingers. Slapping it, squeezing as if he was also depleting his own stress on top of yours.

"Jesus- fuck-" Was all you could get out under the present circumstance.

Now, you weren't usually turned on by an ass man, but his ministrations had you moaning, leaving red lines on Dean's shoulders with your nails and a truly sinful sound rolling off his tongue.

"Fuck, baby." Dean growled, nipping at your neck until there was a mark that could be covered easily by your blazer and not be a pain. What a gentleman.

Dean's towel hit the floor, and it was like a switch flipped in his brain when he used the grip he had on your ass to help grind you in a dizzying pace against his rapidly hardening cock this time around rather than his thigh.

Both felt like heaven. You were sure you'd be transported there once he was pounding into you.

However much the friction of your sleep shorts appealed to his dick, Dean needed you out of those skimpy excuses for pyjamas. He took the hem of the sleep shorts and yanked them down until they pooled at your feet, biting his lip as he fisted the hem of your shirt and whipped it off.

Oh. Oh.

On you was the goddamn sexiest black lace lingerie he'd ever seen. Sweet Jesus. The bra was just the right amount of sheer and framed you beautifully, while the panties- good Lord, if Dean started describing how perfect it was he wouldn't be able to stop. Oh, hail Mary and fuckin’ Joseph.

Didn't help that he could see how soaked you were even from his position in front of you. The small grind he did as a test also confirmed it, his teeth now worrying his bottom lip as he now no longer thought with his brain. His cock was sitting in the driver's seat, thank you very much.

And he was gonna have you hitch a ride.

"Fuck." He cursed softly in comparison to the rough movements the moment before that had your nails grazing his scalp and bare upper back.

Dean gazed down at you, licking his lips. His stare lit your cells on fire while his body language paired with the way he held you - hard and so damn possessive - enough to convince you that you were a five star, five course meal that he was about to devour.

He'd be damned if he left any crumbs.

“You’ve ruined this sexy little number, baby.” Dean murmured, the backs of his fingers trailing down your side, down, down, down until he gripped your thigh with a sure hand. A smirk tugging at his pouty, kiss-swollen lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll ruin your pretty pussy to match the set.”

You’d let out a gasp had it not been for Dean hitching your leg over his bare hip, supporting you with his other hand on your lower back and lifting you effortlessly, carrying you with a smooth motion over to the conveniently placed bed and almost slammed you down, and before you knew it, his lips were back on your neck. It was different than before. Less reverent, less worshipping, more feral.

As if the very feel of you had Dean’s pure instinct taking over.

Pure instinct had you arching into the hard ridges of his muscle, baring your neck shamelessly, your mouth falling open as the hand previously on your lower back rushed to keep himself upright by planting it firmly into the mattress beside your head. Dean’s other hand used the purchase on your thigh to grind down hard and heavy, his breaths coming the same against your jugular as he bit at it, sucking but not enough to leave a mark.

He did vow in his head that he’d only leave it where you could cover it. Couldn’t have the office asking questions.

“Dean…” You whined out in a voice that you could barely discern was yours, your hand in his hair until you felt him take that hand off, fabric sliding off your shoulders and skimpy lace being discarded carelessly off to some odd corner in the room. You couldn’t expect Dean to care where that thing went.

Dean took his thumb into his mouth, swirling his tongue over it while he came back up to watch you, you in your glory. Forget God, he’d worship only you from now on cause damn, were you a goddess.

You.

He let his thumb go with a slick pop, trying to hold onto the last thread of his restraint as he took you in. You, flushed, panting, your eyes slightly hazy from the intense sparks of heat he’d sent through you with a few hot brushes of his lips. His own defined chest heaving just as his eyes locked on your tits, and- mhm.

That thread was cut fast.

His thumb made contact with one hardened nipple, making your jaw go slack again and your hands fly to him again, letting out a moan that would make a hooker blush. Rolling it over and over and over as he buried his face in between your tits so he could kiss the valley between them, the underside and-

“Oh, shit!” You cried out when Dean’s hot mouth closed around your nipple, that damn talented tongue swirling around it before he sucked masterfully, flicking the other in a way that had your hips attempting to lift to make contact with his again, and he answered for you. Grinding down so you could feel every damn inch of what you did to him. What he’d been enduring five years ago and even now.

You were Dean’s drug. And when you weren’t there, he had withdrawal symptoms. Serious withdrawal symptoms.

He sucked, nibbled and licked, sucked, nibbled and licked until you were a moaning mess on the bed from the way his hand tweaked your other nipple and how his cock felt against your clothed pussy.

God, Dean could do this all day. Give him a chance and he would.

You never noticed when his hand left your other nipple, never noticed when your soaked panties left your body and were tossed aside, never noticed until you felt him dragging his fingers over your cunt and to your clit, the sharp but needy sound from you making him grin devilishly into your skin.

Dean popped up, licking his lips and then chuckling. “Got so much pressure built up, dontcha, sweetheart? Want someone to release it for you, dontcha?” He heard a needy whine and plea for him to ‘not stop’, which had him clicking his tongue.

“Oh, baby.” He purred, rubbing his thumb on your clit. The calloused pad having shocks of pure, welcomed electricity through the tips of your fingers to your brain and down back to your cunt. “That little session we had in my office ain’t enough for you, is it? Needy little thing.”

No thoughts. Pussy in charge.

It was definitely in charge when he thrusted two thick fingers into you, demanding and possessive and- fuck, that’s good. Your hips bucked into the touch, another moan leaving your mouth that really had you questioning if you knew your own voice; it sounded so shameless and needy and wanting.

It sounded good. It felt even better.

You didn’t care that Dean was your colleague, the one rule you’d had for five years smashed with a sledgehammer because no, you didn’t care anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when his fingers were pumping in and out of you, working you, making your back arch and hips rocking to meet his ministrations. Yep, you knew he could play you like a fine tuned violin and god, was he doing that.

He crooked his fingers just right, an “oh, fuck!” leaving your mouth and moans in quick succession as his tongue laved at the nipple his mouth had neglected, which did not help you to think straight. It had you clenching around his fingers, the pads of them hitting your g-spot deliciously instead.

Adding another finger and doing it again.

“Shit, sweetheart.” Dean growled against your skin, licking over your nipple as well. Looks like he was a tits man as well, with how eagerly he was worshipping them. “Squeezin’ my fingers so tight. This pussy’s so tight- you sure it can fit my cock? Shit- fuck.” He groaned as you clamped down on him again at the syncing of his fingers against your g-spot and his thumb rubbing at your clit. You were about to drive him insane.

“Dean,” You took a moment to breathe, your head falling back as you tried to get your bearings. You failed, but ah, well, another day. “Mmh, s’close. Gonna come. M’gonna come.”

“That right, baby?” Dean chuckled, sucking a mark in the valley of your tits. Hey, you had absolutely no problem with that. “Gonna come for me? Come so pretty for me?” He bit his lip and then licked them at the sight of you nodding and writhing on the bed, your hips meeting the movements while he made a mess of you with his mouth on your tits and his fingers buried knuckle deep inside you. His mouth moving to hover by your ear, teeth teasing your earlobe. “Go on. Wanna hear my name when you do it. When you release all that tension that’s had you bitchin’ all this time. Just needed me, didn’t you, sweetheart?”

The words, so dirty and filthy. His breath, hot and searing. Teeth skilled and precise.

It was like Dean had been rehearsing for this moment. Got the perfect cadence of his gravelly voice just for you. The perfect rhythm of his fingers just for you. Just for you, so they would have you coming - eyes rolling back, jaw slack, hips stuttering and thighs twitching, sweat beading at your temple as your foot propped on the bed and curled the best they could into the grey satin sheets - just like you were right now.

Oh, dear.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, fuck-

You could barely fathom after your first orgasm of the night what would happen next, but you found out right when Dean got further down the bed and pulled his fingers out of you, getting a taste of you and moaning at it. You were ambrosia in human goddamn form.

Before you could adjust, he licked a long stripe up your soaking cunt, lapping and getting all of you on his tongue, the sweet flavour flooding his taste buds and dimming everything in the room but you. You. You-

My god, this wasn’t enough.

Within seconds, Dean manoeuvred you both so he was flat on his back, head pushed back against the pillows, nestling your thighs on either side of his head. You looked down at him from your position, hand flying to grip the headboard just as he grinned up at you from beneath you, your pussy right there for him to devour. Where he felt like he belonged.

Dean looked like sex. Hell, he probably was sex.

Without a word, Dean rubbed up and down your thighs, feeling the softness in his palms before he seized your hips, pulling you flush against his face and beginning to- oh, God, shit, fuck, hail Jesus and Mary and Joseph, and all of Nazareth.

Fuck.

“Dean- oh, Dean- Dean!” Your brain was short circuiting. Your eyes were rolling back. Hand gripping the headboard so tight your knuckles went white. Your other hand finding your hair and gripping it tight as your mouth fell open and let out a string of expletives adorned with his goddamn name.

Dean was devouring you. Lapping at your pussy, sucking, drinking you dry like you were his first meal in so long. His tongue sliding over your cunt before pushing in once, twice, thrice before slipping out and repeating the rapid strokes. And then a harsh suck on your clit, just to get you to your limit that much faster. To get you to whine, moan, whimper - anything - his name.

That’s what his shit-eating grin was for as he got his lips and chin messy eating the living daylights out of you.

He groaned out something about you tasting like heaven, but you didn’t hear, instead focused on chasing your orgasm while your hips mindlessly ground against his face. He slapped your thigh in response, but when you stilled obediently - thinking he wanted you to stop - no, he took your hips in an almost bruising grip and did the work for you. Rolling your hips down to meet every suck and lap of his until you were shaking again, falling over the edge again to the rhythm and play of his tongue sliding over your pussy.

Once he’d gotten that second fill of you, he hitched himself up so he sat with his back to the plush velvet headboard, so you could see him after he’d wrecked you for the second time around- going on a third, at this rate.

His lips were glistening and his chin the same state, pupils blown wide as he panted and grinned at you like the pure goddamn sex he was.

“Fuckin’ beautiful, sweetheart.” Dean muttered before he cupped your jaw and drew you into a searing kiss, so that you could taste yourself on his tongue. Taste yourself while he gave you the most sloppy, filthy, sinful, perfect kiss of your life.

Don’t tell him you said that.

With a bite of his lip, a checking out of your body and a quick slap to your ass, he took a hold of you and rolled you over, pinning one hand above your head by entwining your fingers with his own and keeping them there.

"Ready, sweetheart?" Dean smirked, spreading your legs and in turn spreading you open. He caught sight of your dripping cunt, and he felt a swell of pride that he made you feel that good. That he forewent his own pleasure (he only realised how much his cock ached for you round about now, he was that focused on you) to take care of you.

He was about to smirk out another sentence, but then he was cut off by a groan, caused by your hand on his cock, rubbing your thumb over his slit and spreading the pre-come before using it to pump your hand up and down. Dean could have spent forever with you jacking him off, but he stopped you, panting.

“Sorry, baby, but if you continue like that, m’gonna embarrass myself.” He chuckled, tearing a condom packet with his teeth and rolling the rubber on. “Need to be inside you. You ready?” When he didn’t get a response, he slapped your thigh- which got a squeak from you. “Words, sweetheart. I need words.”

You nodded, frantically, panting. “Yes, yes, I’m ready, please, I’m ready-” You let out a broken moan when Dean thrusted roughly unto you and god, the pace was bruising but felt… so. Damn. Good.

Dean’s thrusts were rough, but deep. Purposeful. As if every move was calculated. He had gripped the velvet headboard in his free hand until he went the extra mile, changing the angle by hitching your leg over his hip, his eyes rolling back when your heel pressed against his lower back and had him magnifying the feeling of you wrapped around him so deliciously tenfold.

“So fuckin’ tight, baby.” He groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder as his hips snapped forward, the bed creaking under the force. His teeth nipped at the skin, the hand holding your thigh securing your leg over your hip before placing his hand on your throat; not squeezing, just letting you know that it was there.

And by the way you moaned and your head fell back, you enjoyed it. Damn, Dean never knew you were freaky.

He loved it.

With a few rough snaps, he felt himself suddenly fall over the edge, spilling into the condom with a low, guttural moan. Even so, he sloppily thrust into you a few more times to have you going down with him, your lips meeting in a filthy, desperate kiss.

Now, you’d have thought three mind blowing orgasms would be enough for you, but it didn’t seem close to enough once Dean rolled you both over, seizing your hips and making you ride him. At first, it was him lifting you to the head of his dick and lowering you until you sheathed him completely but then it was all you, you, you.

“Dean,” Was all you could say as you set a steady rhythm, your nails raking down his chest and leaving red trails and crescent marks. Those had him chuckling and nodding in approval.

“That’s right, good girl. Mark me up.” Dean grunted softly, gripping your hips tighter, the vein in his neck popping for an extremely good reason as his head fell back against the pillows. “Ride my cock, baby. Look so good, bouncin’ like that. Fuck, never stop. Could see you like this all day. Shit, sweetheart.”

You took gasping breaths, trying to reduce the embarrassing amount of moans leaving your mouth, your pussy clenching tight around Dean and letting him know you were close. His hands slid to your ass, kneading and rolling the softness in his hands, propping himself up to suck and lick at your nipples, which got you there that much faster. Didn’t help when his thumb found your clit.

Rubbing. Flicking. Ruining you.

Damn, he knew exactly what he was doing. Because now your eyes could only see stars and you were coming on his cock, him following you about five thrusts later with a loud and choked moan. You could have almost collapsed forward had it not been for Dean holding you up, and the next thing you knew, you were both breathlessly chuckling.

“Well, that’s a way to, uh, let out the stress.” You breathed, biting your lip and running a hand through your sweaty hair. “Carajo.”

“Damn straight.” Dean laughed, pulling you off his cock gently and laying you down next to him. “I’ll give it to you, sweetheart, you are one damn good fuck.”

“We just…” Fuck. “We just fucked.”

“Yeah, we did. Objections?”

“Dean, this is what I’ve been avoiding. Sure, we torched the Code of Conduct by making out in your office but now I’m pretty sure it’s disintegrated.” You sighed, the growing throb in your pussy from being pounded into by Dean Winchester beginning to take over. Yep, you’d be walking funny. “It's not a mistake, I participated with sound mind, body and soul, but I just...”

Dean understood. "You're confused."

"Yeah." You nodded, biting your lip. "And with everything that's going on, I'm not even sure that getting in a relationship - let alone with you - is a wise option. I'd just be a shitty girlfriend."

"Sweetheart, I don't want you downplaying yourself like that again, you hear me?" Dean said sternly, his jaw set, looking the picture of perfection and porn with his skin shiny from the water and sex induced sweat, the remnants of bliss clinging to his gorgeous features, cheeks still carrying a slightly rosy tinge. Not to mention how his lips and chin still shone with the sweetness he'd tasted eagerly on his tongue the moment before. "I'm not gonna judge you for wanting to take it slow. Especially when we got crime Lords out there."

Beat.

"But if you need some assistance in satisfying that gorgeous pussy, then I'm one text away."

Shit. You needed a round two stat.

The White House. What a place for pretentious politicians.

“Mr President, you have a meeting with the Russian Ambassador at four, and the British Ambassador at six.” Chuck Shurley’s assistant, Becky Rosen, read off a tablet while President Shurley himself was looking at himself in the mirror to check if he was wearing the right suit for his next press conference.

“So many ambassadors.” Chuck muttered under his breath as he took off his blazer to exchange a tie for another one. “Look, Becky, can you be a dear and move my six o’clock to three tomorrow? My days’s too swamped and you know the Russians, they’re probably going to take up most of my time.”

Becky nodded eagerly, tapping on her keyboard. “I can do that, sir, let me put in a phone call.” Then there was chatter on her earpiece, and she let out a small “oh!” of surprise. “You have a visitor, Mr President.”

“And who’s that, Becky?” Chuck turned around with two ties each in his hand. He took a look at the four and put two back in the drawer, examining the other two.

“Your sister, sir. Amara.”

That piqued Chuck’s interest. “Yes, I know who my sister is. Send her in, and you leave.”

Becky nodded, already beginning to leave. “Of course, sir.”

The door shut behind her, and while Chuck was busy trying to figure out which tie worked best with his slacks, the door opened and closed, in coming Chuck’s sister.

Amara Shurley. Sister of the President and the First Lady since Chuck had no game.

Her black dress swished and her heels thudded against the soft carpet as she looked out upon the massive crowd and array of cameras waiting for Chuck’s statement on the recent leak of there being a crime lord called Asmodeus out wreaking havoc in America. “What will you say to them?”

“Anything.” He turned around with a soft sigh. “Those people out there just want reassurance. They’re willing to believe any lie, even if it’s on some cue cards that they can’t see on my podium.”

Amara frowned slowly, fiddling with her hands. “So, what was that policeman? Nick Santiago? Was what you said strictly for reassurance?”

“Of course not.” Chuck scoffed, shaking his head as he examined the ties. “I wouldn’t be in this office had it not been for that police sergeant. I wrote that bit of speech myself. I have to give myself some credit for that. I could be a writer if I hadn’t become President.” Chuck laughed slightly, then turned to Amara, holding up the ties that had made the cut. One navy, diagonally striped red and another that was plain navy. “Which one? Can’t choose.”

“Plain.” Amara replied simply and almost curtly, pacing. “You need to play this smart. Some criminals are out for your blood and there will come a time where your security detail isn’t as good as you think they’ll be. My advice is to tell everyone the truth.”

Chuck spun around, vigorously doing the tie in barely restrained shock. “The truth?!” He burst out, shaking his head and pointing out of the window to the masses of people, oblivious people. “Those people will go insane if I tell them the truth. That there’s a high profile crime syndicate out to kill me and possibly a large section of the population with their large-scale attacks. I’ve been briefed by the Major Crimes unit’s director at the FBI. There are dangerous individuals out there who haven’t been properly identified. If I tell all that to the public, America descends into chaos and I lose my position as the President.”

“So… you’ll lie.”

“Politicians lie, Amara.” Chuck snapped, putting his suit jacket on and beginning the last finishing touches to his hair. “I’m a politician. I lie. It’s how people like me get by in this train wreck of a country!”

“And I’m one of the only civilians that aren’t left in the dark.” Amara muttered, dejected. “Fine, Chuck. But know that if this goes downhill, I warned you.” Amara turned on her high heel, leaving the room promptly.

Chuck rubbed his forehead, smoothing out the creases, but he didn’t have time to worry over an argument with his sister. He put on his cuff links, checked that every strand of his hair was perfectly set, then stepped out of his room and met his bodyguards.

“Carlson.” He muttered to one of the guards, who nodded back.

“Mr President.” Carlson replied curtly, looking forward with an earpiece attached to a wire that disappeared down the front of his suit jacket.

Time to lie again.

“Alright, every agent involved has to be on the clock and alert, y’hear?” Director Singer informed all of us. We’d gotten word from our contacts undercover in crime rings that the syndicate dubbed ‘Hell’ was going to make their move on the British consulate. Tonight, at a meeting in the British Embassy. It was Agent Lafitte, Agent Garrison (who had been taken off suspension) and S. Winchester’s job to secure the perimeter.

As for Dean and I, we’d been assigned a full sweep of the building with some MI6 agents on the case to protect the British consulate: Agent Mick Davies and Agent Arthur Ketch. Neither you nor Dean looked forward to be meeting with the Brits, but hey, it was your job.

“You two,” Director Singer gestured between the two of you, “everything needs to go smoothly with these MI6 agents. I don’t want any reports to come back from their supervisor. Winchester, I’m lookin’ at you.” He pointedly stared at Dean, who returned the glare with a deceivingly innocent expression. “They’ll meet you in T minus five minutes.”

Beat.

“What’s everyone waiting for? Go, go, go!”

Everyone split off, and you and Dean were left alone, and he shot you a sideways smile. “So… Sam knows.”

“Yep.” You nodded, sighing. “Andréa knows as well.”

“Damn.” Dean whistled lowly, folding his arms and giving you a sideways look. At least it wasn’t the usual searing looks that had your mind going places. It was more muted, probably from the previous day’s intense release(s) of the day before.

You didn’t know whether to call it a mistake or the best damn night of your life. You had to admit, relinquishing control, letting Dean put you under him and hearing him talk dirty with that deep voice into your ear was heaven and hell on earth. But when he rolled you over and set you above him, you felt almost powerful.

So you didn’t know what to think. All you knew is that you and Dean Winchester in the same room was a recipe for disaster. Because it always ended in hardcore sex.

Or even hardcore making out. Anything with the term hardcore would do.

“You the FBI associates?” Two men walked up to the two of you. One short, and frankly dressed in the least stylish suit you’d seen. He gave you the impression of an extremely off brand Patrick Dempsey. He put his hand out to Dean with a polite smile, eyes scanning the both of you. “Mick Davies, MI6.”

“Dean Winchester, FBI.” Dean replied, shaking Mick’s hand, and with the small flinch in Mick’s expression, Dean had pulled out the ‘hell of a grip’ move due to the inflation in testosterone.

Davies’ associate, however, was taller, and he looked like he permanently had a bad smell under his nose. That is, until he saw you. That was when he put on a rather ‘pretentious dick’ smile and extended his hand to you. “Arthur Ketch.” His eyes had a glint in them that you didn’t trust. “MI6.”

“Nice to meet you.” You said curtly, then cleared your throat. “Our work is to protect the Consulate. Our agents are securing a perimeter as we speak. We need airtight security, and airtight security detail. That means no distractions, and all eyes on any suspicious figures in the room.”

Dean had a feeling the ‘no distractions’ bit was very aimed at him. Knowing you, it probably was.

“We have it covered, darling.” Ketch flashed you what he thought must have been a charming smile but instead looked constipated. “You hang tight.”

“I’m not ‘hanging tight’.” You responded with a hint of frost to your words. Who were you kidding? That frost was as strong as a tequila shot. “I’m doing my job. Do yours as well.” You walked off, adjusting the straps of your FBI vest, going to Director Singer to check if the perimeter was secure.

One thing. Can one thing in your life go right?

“Harvelle, what do you mean by ‘the files are scattered’?” You hissed into your phone, trying to watch the room but also dealing with a problem back at the office.

‘That’s the literal term.’ Jo almost winced as she seemed to be collecting all the files. ‘Somebody broke into the office and searched through.’

“Ok.” You took a breath so you wouldn’t spontaneously combust and fantasise about Dean taking care of you again. “Right. Here’s what you need to do. Sort the files, get Tran to help, and run all the collected files and its contents through our database. If anyone’s taken anything, we know it’s a class one priority. You report to me, tell me what’s missing. Any evidence that’s been tampered with, report to me. Got it?”

‘Yeah.’

“Now, I have a Consulate to watch. Bye.”

‘Bye.’ Harvelle squeaked, and cut the call. You sighed, rubbing your forehead. Nope. Nothing could go right.

Dean walked through the halls, radio up to his mouth as he gave orders and updates on the situation. He passed a large group of people, and as he did, a very discreet movement with made. Using a sharpened pocketknife, with one clean flick of the knife, they cut the side of Dean’s bulletproof vest. If, by chance, he made one wrong move, he was exposed.

While Consulate Sutherland of Britain was shaking hands with the mayor of Washington, Vince Gray, you were approached by a lady asking for the bathroom. She seemed innocent enough, then you saw it. White suit, slicked back salt and pepper hair, raising a pistol.

Asmodeus.

The lady was a distraction.

You quickly cuffed her and handed her over to Agent Lafitte, running, but you didn’t think you’d get there fast enough. “GET DOWN!”

Dean saw your sprinting, and he got there before you, diving to tackle the Consulate and mayor down, but his cut vest ripped, and the bullet that was fired with a deafening bang struck him in the side.

Your steps faltered for a moment, especially as you saw the supposed ‘distraction’ raise a small-duty detonator. You snapped the fastenings on the metal table, flipping it. You heard her make the cry “For Azazel!” before a much smaller blast than the one at the President’s speech ripped through the building, pushing you back and replacing all sense of sound with high, white noise in your ear.

It was deafening, blocking out all sound, but your eyes were in full working order. Asmodeus raised his gun again, and that prompted you to quickly flip the table in front of you just as the bullets flew, making dents in the metal from your side. Reaching for your handgun, you cocked it and flipped the safety, Dean saying something that you couldn’t make out through the ringing in your ears, instead popping up from behind the table to fire a shot before ducking back down.

“Sweetheart.” You could make out from under the ringing, alone with Dean’s hand clutching his side, compressing the blood flow.

You couldn’t hear a thing, looking blank even as you kept shooting at irregular intervals, only able to remain up for a short amount of time which sent your aim off kilter a bit. Didn’t help that Asmodeus was surprisingly agile for a man that seemed to be older.

You fired a quick and precise shot, having regained your bearings a bit, hitting the gun from a diagonal and sending it skidding, which forced Asmodeus to run. You could have run after him. However, as you’d recovered, you nodded to Dean. “Yeah?”

“The mole.” Dean panted, holding his hand to his side. “Probably compromised our position. You need to go get ‘em, sweetheart.” He grunted, unable to move much. You were torn between staying and leaving, but he chuckled. “I can see the cogs. Go. Now.”

Your job’s duty was right there, with the rapidly retreating figure of Asmodeus. But it was also with protecting your colleague, so you took off your jacket, gesturing for Sam to move in on Asmodeus and begin chase, while Benny, Cas, Meg and Ruby headed to secure a tighter perimeter.

Rolling up your sleeves, you took a look at Dean, gently removing his hands and checking for his signs of consciousness. “You’re gonna have to keep talking, ok?” You paused, and then chuckled. “As if you had any trouble with that before.”

The comment got a laugh and a shake of Dean’s head, huffing. “Smartass.” He coughed slightly. “I’ll fuck that attitude out of you when m’healed up.”

“Trust me, counting on it.” You grinned. Even if you weren’t sure if that would happen again. You pressed your hand firmly over the wound, quickly calling for medical backup and checking it over. “No major arteries. But this needs to be checked out, Dean. I’m not leaving you.”

“Yes, you are.” Dean insisted, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re better kickin’ ass instead of checkin’ on me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Double sure?”

“Double yes.”

“Dean.”

“I’m not hearing this.” He lightly shoved your shoulder. “Go on, get.”

“Classy.” You sighed, replacing the clip of your gun and cocking the barrel. But you conceded, sighing. “Fine. Fine. I’m going.”

“Good girl.” Dean murmured, cradling your jaw. “Give ‘em hell, darlin’.” You nodded, then ran after Asmodeus, leaving Dean alone as he saw paramedics pull up outside.

“Son of a bitch.” He grunted, looking at the scarlet on his fingers.

In the meantime, you sprinted down where you thought Asmodeus went, but found nothing. Nothing except a dragged trail of red, which you followed.

The streaks of red on the stone floor ended at feet. Which were obviously connected to legs and then hips and a torso and a... neck. Oh, God.

The guy you'd found was deader than dead. His throat was slit deep and almost surgically, blood dripping steadily into a puddle on the ground.

And over the cleverly painted mural, above the poor dead civilian, were words painted in blood. Hasty and hurried words.

I WARNED YOU.

NEXT UP:

"My baby." Your mom whispered, sitting beside you in your hospital bed, smoothing back your hair. "God, look at you."

You rolled your eyes, prepared for the worst. After all, nothing more or less could be expected of your traditional mother other than and personal comments to your appearance.

"Spit it out." You groaned. "I look like hell." You felt like you'd combust. You'd do it. Fragile chine be damned.

Like, comment or reblog! I’d love to hear your feedback. Comment if you want to be added to the taglist.

TAGLIST: @goldngguk @sweetpeachbombshell @slut-for-stiles @staple-your-mouth @daddyscrimsstuff

@dob-4-life @marcis-mixtapez @nonoreas0n @gabrielasilva1510 @lucyholmes13

@pandadork-blog1 @nicolstancu @malusinhaaaa @dybalabandolero @a-cup-of-nightshade

@tomatoessoup @sh0rtcakee @fall-06 @mckaykay-fandomsfandoms

@b3th13 @demonxangelomegaverse @deanwinchestersgirl87 @capailluiscedove @i723l-interrupted2323

@niyomiii @all-the-fan-fic @eviekinevie8 @sunflowerlover57 @1-800-dean-winchester

@darichvep @idk-usernme @supernaturalmarvel3000 @ega2025 @deanbrainrotwritings

@targaryenluvs @bucky-hydra-hoe-barnes @leigh70 @aintnowayboi

@ripoffsteveharrington @gleefulleve @sacrosankta @riteofpassage77 @eevvvaa

@thedevilortheangel @thorsballhair @barbienotdoll @4e1h3r @wolfieblue03

@kianaleani @vicky199625 @sassyslut2003 @impyrz @didisull

@miwp @lastcallatrockysbar @rizlowwritessortof @zepskies @angelbabyyy99

@autisticgothic @yourgoldengirls @deansobsessedgirl @mrsjenniferwinchester @aylacavebear

@lailawinchesterr @brightlilith @arcanaa @hobby27 @lyarr24

@ximm19 @a-girl-who-loves-disney @jeneelsworld @deans-spinster-witch @deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist

@kayleighwinchester @k-slla @muhahaha303 @suckitands33 @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

@katherineeekai @freefallthoughts @angzls

To be added to any character’s taglist of mine , find my form on my master list.

[melefim]

Dead Boy Detectives full soundtrack!

(Or at least all the ones I could find)

I’ve seen several soundtrack playlists floating around, but unfortunately a lot have other songs added or are missing some that were used in the show, so I went ahead and made my own!

Below the cut is a full listing of when each song was used during the show, timestamped as accurately as I could manage.

Please let me know if there are any songs I missed, and I’ll add them ASAP! Score will be added if/when it’s released. If anyone would be interested in separate posts for each episode, let me know and I’ll get right on it!

Enjoy!

🎥Promotional🎥:

“Psychobilly Bandits” by Alibi Music: Teaser trailer

“Welcome to the Black Parade” by My Chemical Romance: Full trailer

“Young and in Love” by Fast Forward Romance: Meet the Characters teaser

🔮The Case of Crystal Palace🔮:

“Doorman” by slowthai, Mura Masa: Hotel hallway chase scene. (2:33-2:47)

“Hang on to Yourself” by David Bowie: Prep for Crystal’s case. (11:59-12:30)

“Bad Feeling” by Cobra Man: What Crystal is listening to on her headphones in the subway before the David the Demon fight. (12:36-13:04)

“I’m Telling Your Mum” by Danny Farrant, Paul Rawson: Jenny’s introduction. (21:46-22:44)

“It’s Not Unusual” by Tom Jones: In the Malt shop after they find Esther’s house and after Crystal sees David the Demon. (26:42-27:38, 29:24-29:47)

“Bones of Rock” by The Boneless Ones: In the background during Crystal and Jenny’s talk in the alley. (34:03-35:07)

“Take the Rest of Me” by Brocklesby Crooke: Dandelion sprites- Crystal meeting Niko. (36:39-36:51)

“Deal Wiv It” by Mura Masa, slowthai (instrumental): Meeting David the Demon flashback. (38:36-39:10)

“So What?” by NOISY (instrumental): Planning Becky’s rescue in the butcher shop. (41:34-42:19)

“White Teeth” by The Screaming Gypsy Bandits: Record playing inside Esther’s house. (43:33-44:30)

“Surfing in the Sky” by The Vaccines: Fight in Esther’s front yard. (49:08-49:50)

“Missing” by slowthai (instrumental): Sending Becky home, heading back to the butcher shop. (51:23-52:34)

🌼The Case of the Dandelion Shrine🌼:

“Take the Rest of Me” by Brocklesby Crooke: Dandelion sprites- Niko faints outside the bathroom and attracts attention in the butcher shop. (12:48-12:52, 28:29-28:57)

“Natural Successor” by Pictish Trail: Turning Monty human. (47:22-49:16)

🪓The Case of the Devlin House🪓:

“Free Tonight” by Skymachine: Charles & Crystal walk into butcher shop, just a few bars on radio before anchor talks about the storm. (8:13-8:15)

“Oceans” by The Yada Yada Yadas: on radio after anchor talks about the storm while Charles and Crystal are asking Jenny about the Devlin murders. (8:21-8:50)

“Owner of a Lonely Heart” by Yes: Devlin house time loop, repeated multiple times. (First full loop 19:06-21:09. Loop repeats: 21:31-23:05, 23:36-24:38, 25:02-25:35, 26:52-27:17, 29:04-29:55, 30:22-31:24, 33:17-34:30, 34:34-35:35, 35:48-37:01, 37:18-38:55, 39:28-40:50. Final loop: 42:23-42:36)

🌊The Case of the Lighthouse Leapers🌊:

“RoMaNcE” by ShitKid: Jenny reading letter from her secret admirer, gets rent from the girls. (1:16-2:40)

“Fire Escape” by Nine One One: Jenny reading letter before finding the Night Nurse upstairs. (29:06-29:32)

“The Wellerman” (original music box version): Charles winds up music box, hits Night Nurse with it, kicks her into Angie. (43:07-43:49)

“Young Blood- White Sea Remix” by The Naked and Famous, White Sea: End of episode- Niko starts to read letters from mother, Charles and Crystal kiss, end credits. (48:22-50:59)

🐉The Case of the Two Dead Dragons 🐉:

“Thunder” by ZEE MACHINE: Interviewing students about Brad & Hunter. (14:24-15:11)

“Apocalypse” by Cigarettes After Sex: Jenny and Maxine mid-date. (26:54-28:04)

“Melting” by Kali Uchis: Jenny and Maxine late date until stalker reveal. (36:25-38:10)

“Disorder” by Joy Division: End credits. (49:49-50:41)

🍄The Case of the Creeping Forest🍄:

“Who’s Ur Girl?” By The Mysterines: Niko redecorates her room. (1:15-1:29)

“The Wellerman” (original Music box version): Sea calming music box, playing inside Angie. (13:45-14:07, 15:35-15:49)

“A.T.T.A.C.K” by Arre! Arre!: Niko tries to get Jenny to forgive her in the butcher shop. (20:49-21:57)

“Shakedown” by Infamous Stiffs: End credits. (51:17-52:11)

🕷️The Case of the Very Long Stairway🕷️:

“Under the Milky Way” by The Church: Charles’ memories of his death. (11:06-13:15)

“Dinner Jazz” by Tony Kinsey: Limbo/Hotel lobby in Hell. (17:27-18:27, 44:13-44:30)

“Revolution Action” by Atari Teenage Riot: David turns on lights and music in abandoned bowling alley. (30:20-30:48)

“Window Shopping” by Robert Foster: Gluttony/Café when exiting Hell. (43:13-43:35)

“Circle In The Sand” by Belinda Carlisle: Jenny singing in Crystal’s head while possessed. (31:43-33:50)

“Burning” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Monty flies away from rooftop, Esther works on her machine, Jenny sleeps while Niko looks at Cursed Magic 8 ball, Night Nurse knocks on supervisor’ door, Crystal eats first memory marble, end credits. (52:37-55:16)

🐍The Case of the Hungry Snake🐍 :

“Standing In The Way of Control” by Gossip: Crystal’s first memory marble. (1:18-2:04)

“I’m What You Want” by Walt Disco: Crystal Club fight memory. (8:35-8:48)

“When I’m Gone” by Ging: Crystal says goodbye and leaves the butcher shop. (16:18-18:13)

“Sleeping On Grassy Ground” by The Heavy Heavy: Charles and Edwin wake up in Esther’s house. (25:55-27:43)

“Who’s Sorry Now” by Connie Francis: Niko and Crystal break into Esther’s house. (30:35-31:17)

“Loss & Relax” by Black Belt Eagle Scout: Talking in Niko’s room. (40:44-42:59)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detective ones here!

When Charles’ shirt color changes

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Moves, Incidents, and Cases masterlist

Swearing Stats Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress.

[ierobots]

This is the entire My Chem Discography

I’m deleting my old song master posts in favour of putting them all into one: here’s all My Chem and solo project songs that aren’t on Spotify, some that are but you may not know are MCR, with links to everything except lost media and scrapped songs. PS: I may update to add James Dewees and Jarrod Alexander

My Chemical Romance

All Not On Spotify (Playlist) My Name Is Jonas (Live Feature) Live Covers (Playlist) Nine Volt Heart (Lyrics Only)

Documentary: Punk’s Not Dead

No Links/Scrapped Titles & Songs: Number of the Beast, American Idiot (Live Covers) Stabbing, Wish You Away (Sorrows and Drowning Lesson scrapped titles??) First Chance, Still Alive, Teenage Girl, Pretty, Monster Jam (+ over 30 scrapped DD and CW songs/titles) Dark Cloud, Witch, Wake Up (no longer online)

Frank Iero

Cameo: Punk Rock Holocaust (with Ray Toro) Addiction: A 60s Love Story (with James Dewees)

Bloodnun: Self Titled (full demo) Beneath the Unholy (full side of split) Straying Further From God’s Light (feature)

Sector 12 (aka Steve Weil aka Hybrid): New Demo (full demo)

Death Spells: Sunday Came Undone (unreleased song) Demos (full album)

Leathermouth: Myself (bonus track) What’s A Pulse Got To Do With It? (Bodysnatchers demo) Murder Was The Case (demo)

The Lovecats: Performance Playlist (live band only)

Pencey Prep: …trying to escape the inevitable (full demo EP) Last Rites (short clip) All Otherwise Unreleased/Not On HIS (Playlist: 6 songs) (Cotton Candy is not a Pencey Prep song)

Reggie and the Full Effect: No Country For Old Musicians (Full Album - Ray Toro on lead guitar, Frank on bass, vocals on tracks 8 & 13)

Solo: All Not On Spotify (Playlist) Live Covers (Playlist)

Features: All Vocal Features (Playlist) All Guitar Features (Playlist) All Live Features (Playlist) All Music Video Features (Playlist)

Can’t Find Links: Live at BBC Maida Vale (EP), 2022 (L.S. Dunes Demo) Little Boxes, On The Road Again, True Love, Can’t Hardly Wait (Live Covers)

Gerard Way

The Mo-Fo’s: Demos (Playlist)

Solo: Soundcloud Releases (Playlist) All Not On Spotify (Playlist)

Features: Vocal Features (Playlist) Live Features (Playlist) I’m A UFO In This City (Album Producer) Sleep When I’m Dead (Song Remix)

Ray Toro

Prev. Mentioned: Punk Rock Holocaust 2, No Country For Old Musicians

The Rodneys (Band with Matt Pelissier): Soccertown USA (full album playlist)

Aurelio Voltaire: Raised By Bats (full album)

Mikey Way

Waterparks: Cluster (full EP)

Features: Makeshift Love (music video) We Don’t Have to Dance (bass) Louder Than Your Love (bass)

Matt Pelissier

Prev. Mentioned: Soccertown USA

Revenir: Exiled From Bear County (full album) All Demos (Playlist)

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/23/24

i woke up at ass o'clock monday morning to find BOTH of my cats sleeping on the bed with me :') temporary peace and love on planet niceys

also read a book where my takeaway was that there are SO many opportunities in the world for evil engineering but not nearly enough for evil puzzle games

listening

my sister sent me ONE instagram reel/screencap of a tiktok and ive been muttering "emergency! emergency! paging DOCTOR BEAT!" under my breath for the past three days. alarmingly catchy remix of this gloria estefan song. this specific video below is pretty close but there are approximately eight zillion versions

-

reading

Dark Wire by Joseph Cox (photo from here, description from the publisher's site).

The inside story of the largest law-enforcement sting operation ever, in which the FBI made its own tech start-up to wiretap the world, shows how cunning both the authorities and drug traffickers have become, with privacy implications for everyone. In 2018, a powerful app for secure communications called Anom took root among organized criminals. They believed Anom allowed them to conduct business in the shadows. Except for one thing: it was secretly run by the FBI.    Backdoor access to Anom and a series of related investigations granted American, Australian, and European authorities a front-row seat to the underworld. Tens of thousands of criminals worldwide appeared in full view of the same agents they were trying to evade. International smugglers. Money launderers. Hitmen. A sprawling global economy as efficient and interconnected as the legal one. Officers watched drug shipments and murder plots unfold, making arrests without blowing their cover. But, as the FBI started to lose control of Anom, did the agency go too far?   A painstakingly investigated exposé, Dark Wire reveals the true scale and stakes of this unprecedented operation through the agents and crooks who were there. This fly-on-the-wall thriller is a caper for our modern world, where no one can be sure who is listening in. 

i really liked this one! cox did a really good job of slowly unfurling the extremely technical details as they became relevant, instead of one horrible infodump near the beginning, and has a real gift for humanizing little anecdotes that illustrate the concept. he's also dryly funny in a very british way, eg the transition between one paragraph describing a very talented olive oil salesman and his lifestyle to how that olive oil processing covered up drug labs with the sentence "But Catanzariti didn't stay with olives; he pivoted instead to methamphetamine." i loooooove reading about how the drug trade gets around customs. i love edge cases and figuring out why things fail. i truly think some of the finest materials engineers of our time are out there trying to figure out how to get cocaine into australia.

this is deeply reported in a way that's very different from a lot of popsci and pop-history books that annoy me: this is NOT a book where it feels like the author is simply padding out a wikipedia page, supplemented with articles he's already written. he's been on this beat since 2016 and it shows: he has quotes from hundreds of people on many sides of the drug war. something i also appreciate is that cox is not automatically, rabidly pro-cop; he does not gloss over the very real tortures and kidnappings and all the other nasty realities of the global drug trade, and frequently shows how much overreach and entrapment took place during this whole endeavor. i particularly liked a chapter where he flipped back and forth from various law enforcement officials assuring him they of course complied with all relevant privacy laws and blacklisted anyone using it for simple secure communications, and lawyers telling cox "no the cops very much did spy on my privileged communication with my clients and i know this because these texts came up in court". also gratifying to read about some cases overturned or thrown out, in the odd case a judge decided it looked too much like entrapment.

i feel like i devoured this book SO fast but it's a solid 352 pages in hardcover. i also had to wait a good two months on the libby holds lists so there is strong interest in this book! good for cox!

how did i find this book: it's austin underscore walker's fault. they used to be coworkers at vice and cox and three others broke off last year to found 404 Media, which has had an absolutely crazy amount of real-world impact for the size (again! four people!) and how long they've been around. rip vice. wish u did better by your people.

-

watching

watched Hercules (1997, dir. Clements & Musker) with my bestie's five year old. i did not grow up with disney movies and don't really have a nostalgic affinity for them but this shit holds up! i like how meg has the silhouette of a greek vase

-

playing

powerwash simulator has a new free DLC out! we get to go to the aquarium and wash some exhibits and wash the research submarine!!! VERY soothing. took me a good solid two hour podcast episode to clean the exhibits.

the temporary summer event in genshin impact is very darling this year-- there are big indie game vibes and unlocking every chest is a little more complicated or has a little bit more story attached than usual. very excited to see if this continues with the next big update that introduces a whole new land.

i also like that they've picked An Art Style to work with-- everything is very toy-like or origami. not that genshin doesn't have a distinct art style, but playing around with something less realistic is fun!

-

making

look im going to have to add a cross stitch update to the morning reblog. the lighting in here is simply Not Good Enough

[saturnaftertaste]

I would like to hear your hirarchie opinions!

oh anon, you’re too sweet. you do spoil me so ♡

so, my take on hirarchie?

look. as a feminist, my first thought in the archie-ronnie-hiram subplot/relationship triangle will always be veronica. as such, my thoughts on hirarchie come from the angle of thinking about veronica, who is a very interesting figure in the case of the Jughead-Narrated Riverdale Universe.

first of all - veronica is a legacy outsider to Riverdale. i’ve mentioned this before, but out of s1’s protagonist cast, ronnie was the only one to not be white. not only this, but hiram’s history itself starts outside of riverdale. unlike betty | alice, archie | fred, cheryl | penelope, jughead | fp, veronica | hiram do not have history here. in fact, archie, betty, jughead, and cheryl all have direct ancestors who landed in riverdale in 1580 - i.e. as per colonial “american” practice, the town was “built” by them and their descendants.

so what role do the lodges play in all of this? the blossoms are rich, the andrews’ are good, the coopers are cunning and the joneses write the history, so what role do the lodges play in the existence of riverdale? are they even necessary for that existence? my point is this - nothing happens in riverdale until a lodge shows up.

think about it! we’ve seen riverdale prime start up twice - once in season 1, once in season 7. a lot of people pin jughead’s narration from s1 on jason blossom’s death (“little miss inciting incident”) but my take on this is that the starting point of any riverdale story is the entrance of a lodge. one of my main riverdale theories is that while the events of s1-4 are narrated by jughead, s5-7 are original written pieces by jughead within the meta of the river-verse. as given in the canon, jughead is not a very good writer - so to keep riverdale afloat from s5-7, the stories he tells are essentially ripped off from the first four of seasons, remixed and then re-presented: hence, when s7 starts in the 50s, it starts on the day when veronica comes to town, just like s1, except there is no murder; jason blossom doesn’t exist.

what does this have to do with archie? good question. i’m getting there (i promise. i hope).

this post by @/wallbeatjournal talks about how just because archie and hiram aren’t related, it doesn’t make it any less incestuous. that is what got me thinking about the riverdale citizens’ roles in their society. as the town pares down in terms of citizens, season by season, and the “following in. families’ footsteps” themes become more and more in-your-face, one must question the cycles and where they came from. interestingly enough, the modern-day riverdalians are 1-to-1 copies of their ancestors, with a specific focus on gender. the farthest ancestors shown are not patriarchal heads of houses— instead you have: asher andrews, blessing cooper, james jones, charity blossom. obviously, we do not know if these are “true”; as per my personal theory, this is all jughead making filler backstory for s6 bc he’s alone and trapped in an empty bunker trying to power a dead universe for himself. however, the genders and the naming conventions match our current protagonists. moving forward in time and referencing the parents of the riverdale citizens, all of them who have a historical colonial ancestor become one of their parents, usually looking like one of them as well, despite the end goal being to break out of their cycles of perpetual violence; usually, the parent they become is the one they share a gender with:

betty is the “gang leader’s girlfriend/perfect small-town girl/thrill-seeking investigator” -> all roles alice has occupied, in that order. notice how despite hal’s attempted influence on her, she does not become a serial killer.

jughead is the “writer/gang leader/scholarship kid/alcoholic” -> roles both F.P and his grandfather occupied. he is incapable of leaving riverdale permanently, like F.P., but unlike gladys who left prior to any inciting incident.

cheryl is the “alive half of a pair/center of tragedy/repressed rich kid/witch” -> roles occupied by penelope blossom as more of the story is unveiled, reflecting cheryl’s life? or cheryl reflecting penelope? (remember, clifford blossom dies before s1 is up, so in this way, jason and clifford match in that they are the Dead ones.)

(remember, this is all through the jughead lens, so it’s all subjective. anyway)*

so where does that leave archiekins and veronica?

veronica is interesting, like i said before. she has no colonial ancestor; her ties to riverdale do not extend beyond hiram’s own. in fact, you could say that veronica and hiram have no ties to riverdale at all, since it was jaime luna that came to riverdale, and hiram lodge who left to manhattan after he married hermione.

veronica is also interesting in that she’s the only one out of the main cast to not be the same gender as her primary-complex-relationship parent. although hiram is not present for season 1, most of veronica’s conflict still stems from his existence as her father. veronica is a girl, yet she does not resemble hermione in her riverdale role**; she is her father’s daughter, constantly actively fighting him while mirroring his own traits. the owning of businesses, the murderous intent, the guns for hire (reggie, circa s3?) thé illegal activity? the mob interactions? she is not a gangster’s moll like hermione ends up as; she is the gangster. remember that episode when they all got sent to therapy in the guise of “college counseling” in their senior year? it’s openly stated that one interpretation of hiram and veronica’s relationship is combative, and that hiram doesn’t see her as an extension of himself, but rather an outside agent who might take his place (hence veronica has to “beat” him to win.)

all this to say that the lodges are, on a narrative level, instigators. (the party don’t start till i walk in! - veronica lodge, 2017) not the blossoms. veronica comes to town, and the story starts. hiram comes to town, and veronica and hiram start fighting on various battlegrounds, for some unnamed, constantly shifting purpose. the lodges do not belong in riverdale, and the story is aware of this, but the story/the town also knows that it cannot exist in reality without the lodges jumpstarting it’s existence. only one lodge can bring back the other (veronica in riverdale brings hiram to riverdale; hiram’s nefarious plans for sunnydale truly bring veronica back to riverdale); only one lodge can get rid of the other (hiram attempts to send veronica to harvard, veronica chases him out of town with the shotgun AND orders a hit on him), and yet - the town needs one lodge to keep things moving (the juvenile prison, the speakeasy under pops. the sunnydale development project, the babylonium) the lodges are the only access to growth and change the town has. otherwise, it sits on its haunches, repeatedly producing people who are named like their ancestors and look&behave like their parents.

all except for one person; the one person who becomes the rope in the lodges’ metaphorical game of tug-of-war.

see, archie, through the jughead lens, is special. archie is complex. where everyone else has to be bent to fit a stereotype (girl next door, rich girl, tragic victim, mindless jock, gay best friend), jughead’s narration expands to fill in the gaps about archie (he was a victim? he was clout-chasing football star? a musician? a folk hero?every government service? he fought a bear???) archie, i think, is the only one he allows free will/choices—archie is his protagonist, so he must have a story, but also is the object of his affection. hence, archie “tries” to be like his perception of his father (“good” “kind”, “strong”, male) but often ends up behaving like his mother (leaves people, bisexual***, protective, desperate for the american dream****, redheaded) while also making other choices - presumably, those choices were based in the reality that jughead is recording from s1-s4, and everyone’s actions around archie’s choices are folded into their characters to the fit the stereotypes and story arcs they inhabit.

so what happens when an instigator meets the only other person in their path who has free will? when veronica comes into contact with archie, she jumpstarts the betty/archie thing that supposedly has been simmering for years. when hiram comes into contact with archie, archie unlocks a new ability to take matters into his own hands. veronica consistently enables the choices that archie makes, whether good or bad, and hiram constantly unlocks new levels of action in archie, whether good or bad.

hiram’s influence on archie is obviously paralleled with hiram’s own story, but instead of inflicting it on his daughter who he comes into conflict with, he tries to instigate new levels of action from archie. i think if hiram had had a son, riverdale as a story would cease to exist because the point of lodges, (and i do mean lodges, not lunas) is to be different, even to each other - hence them creating change. riverdale’s near-all-white population in hiram’s years? he moves there, and now the town has someone new and different to them in poverty. his daughter comes to riverdale, and all of a sudden the entire social balance and relationship structures of the town’s youth are upended, because she’s new and different to them and rich. he becomes a lodge; she becomes a luna. he pushes archie to take action (i.e, red circle); she takes actions for archie (raising money for the community center). if veronica had been a son, chances are he would’ve followed so completely in hiram’s steps that he wouldn’t have come to riverdale at all.

why else would they fight as equals? only one of them can be in riverdale at a time. otherwise, they cancel out - hiram puts archie in prison, ronnie gets him out. hiram buys pop’s? ronnie buys pop’s back. and so on and so forth.

hirarchie exists and functions because hiram is one of the only two factors the town can rely on for any kind of change, and archie is jughead’s clumsy (remember he’s a bad writer!) projection of the town’s soul onto his best friend; thus archie is at the mercy of the lodges because the town wishes to express itself through a story, and a story requires conflict, something that cannot be produced without the presence of an outsider.

*the jughead lens is both misogynistic and apathetic but most importantly it’s simplistic. jughead himself does not make it as a writer in nyc beyond his one book - this is because he is unable to write characters that cannot eventually be folded into one-dimensional tropes that are very obviously props for his own opinions and desires.

**side note: while hermione does not have any ancestors mentioned in historical riverdale, someone matching a younger version of her/teenage veronica does exist in rivervale. this, along with teenage hermione’s description of her mother’s job cleaning houses in the “midnight club” episode, establishes that hermione may have been here longer than hiram — and yet, veronica only follows hiram’s patterns, not hermione or her unnamed grandmothers’.

***bisexuality is presumed on account of the interest-in-reggie-and-jughead sub?text and the absence-is-presence of jarchie in the polycule from s7.

****it is implied that mary explores her sexuality after she leaves fred (at least, that’s how i remember it, please correct me if i’m wrong) and the marrying fred and settling into the american dream as fast as possible draws parallels with archie being desperate to maintain “normal” - the wedding fantasies with veronica in s2, the trying to make it work with betty in s5, the insistence on a baby in s6 - this, apart from the red hair, is the greatest similarity archie has with his mother.

[several-ravens]

post season 2 horny rant about elias don't click if it's going to upset you

MY HUSBAND. A MURDERER. who would have thought???

so it was him at the murderous end of that pipe. good for him

when i tell you i screamed when he walked into the room. i mean damn he can talk to me like that whenever he wants. HIS VOICE??? and that little evil speech at the beginning oooooh that's enough to kill me

maybe he didn't need to murder leitner as well but also who am i to stop him? like eurgh brotha eurgh but also ooooh baby heaven is a place on earth like that one remix that's on tiktok atm

AND because that wasn't enough, on top of being evil and fucked up he's also very powerful

excuse me but that's hot af. his place of power should be me.

(i have a thing for evil powerful men in case that wasn't clear)

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Rewind, Remix, & Replay Jay & Kim 6x2

You can read the rest of the series here

Alright guys, let’s buckle up for the next few chapters. We are in the midst of one of Jay’s spirals. He has gone through a lot and now he has to figure out how to live on without his dad or the closure he needed from him.

I'm not quite sure if I hit the mark with this one- I had some trouble getting what I wanted down on paper. The episode was so emotion driven it was kind of hard to add anything more to it. 

Kim's surprise shows on her face when Jay joins her. “Are you working this case?”

“It’s good to see you too.” Kim’s dark brown eyes were worried. Jay dismisses it off hand. “I’m fine. There is a murder out there and it’s my job to catch him- end of story.” Kim gives him a skeptical look. Jay starts walking and Kim falls into step with him.

“No, not end of story. You just lost your dad, Jay. You should take some time-”

“Kim, I don’t need time. I’m all good.” Kim didn’t know who Jay thought he was lying to she had seen how wrecked he was in the hospital. She grabbed his arm forcing him to stop and stand across from her. “C’mon, you know my relationship with my dad wasn’t like that. We weren’t close. We were distant at best, I got used to it.” Jay’s tone bodes no argument but Kim pushes anyway.

“I think you want to believe that. But Jay I was there- You need more-” Jay feels his frustration hit a boil suddenly- the tight control he normally had on his emotions busted and in need of repair. He doesn’t even have time to process the awful words that he slews her way, he just wants her to stop talking.

“Look I know you have daddy issues but don’t project them onto me.” They burn his throat like acid. She doesn’t respond but her face says it all. She had gotten so good at keeping her face unreadable for the job the last few years. But she doesn’t even try to hide them this time. Jay feels it like a punch to the gut. His anger fades and he feels immediate chest heavy guilt. He goes to apologize for his very out-of-pocket comment but doesn’t have a chance because of the sound of gunfire.

Kim takes off without looking back to see if Jay is following. He is right at her back pulling his gun. When they see the girl bleeding from a gunshot wound to her chest. Jay stops and puts pressure on her wound, telling her she is going to be okay. Kim takes off after the shooter.

“You listen to me because it is my job to keep you safe and I will always do my job and you will do yours.” Kim stays back as Voight’s voice carries across the street. She wanted to run to Jay. Touch him and feel his heartbeat. She can see that he is very much alive but still her brain is having trouble believing what her eyes see.

He is shirtless and pale as a ghost sitting on the bumper of the ambulance. She can see the ugly black bruise already taking up most of his peck and growing. The spot where she rested her head to sleep. The spot where he had been shot, only saved by his bulletproof vest. His side was bandaged from where the bullet had gone through luckily missing anything major. Still, Kim feels sick to her stomach.

Voight finishes his conversation with Jay and starts stalking back her way. Kim wants to go to Jay but it is clear that he has something he wants to say to her. “Kim,” She straightens and leans closer. “Take a couple of days off. I want you to watch Halstead.”

“Of course, Sarg.” Kim can see the worry in Hank’s eyes. He nods at her and she starts to walk over to Jay. Voight grabs her wrist and she pauses to look back up at him.

“I don’t want him back until he’s got his head on straight.” Kim hears the seriousness in his tone and nods at him. “You call if you need anything.” He squeezes her arm in support and gestures with a tilt of his head to Halstead.

Kim doesn’t waste any time heading over to him, eating the distances with her hurried strides. Her fingertips ghost over the bruise on his chest without thought. It would be a long time before she would be able to sleep on him. Jay’s hand catches her wrist bringing her hand up to kiss her palm. “Baby, I’m so sorry about what I said. It-” He huffs out a breath his ribs burning as he starts to come down from the adrenaline. “It was completely out of line.”

“You just got shot and that’s what you want to talk about?” Kim had been upset about the comment. It had cut her deeper than she cared to acknowledge. She knew Jay was only lashing out because he was in emotional turmoil. That didn’t excuse his hurtful words, not completely. However, she felt like there were bigger things to talk about considering his injuries.

“It’s important. I want to make sure we are okay. I need to know we are.” His blue eyes were overflowing with emotions, begging for assurance. His grip on her hand was tight. She brought her other hand up to cup his cheek. He leaned into her hand and she pressed a kiss to his jaw.

“Jay, we are okay.” Kim watched some of the tension leak out of his body. He was still holding himself stiffly, favoring his one side. His hand wraps around the nape of her neck pulling her closer. For a second, she thought he might be trying to steal a kiss, but he just pressed his forehead against hers. His fingers tighten in her hair. She rubs her hand down his forearm and eases down next to him on the back of the ambulance.

“I just couldn’t help myself. Not after being a bystander to my dad’s… I couldn’t help get him out of the fire. Couldn’t help him in the hospital like Will. I just- I had to do something. I had to get this guy. I had to help.” Kim squeezed his hand thinking of how to respond. She was saved by his abrupt change in topic to something safer. “Did you see how pissed Voight was?”

“You scared him Jay- scared the hell out of me too. He just wants to make sure you are okay.” Kim closed her eyes tightly. Another spike of fear rushed through her system like a shot of adrenaline. The thought of losing Jay had tears stinging her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” She nods wiping away a tear that had escaped. She licks her dry lips and slowly stands.

“We will figure it all out later. Let’s get you to the hospital to get checked out.” Kim has barely lifted her hand to get Foster’s attention to load him up to get him to Med. Jay grabs her arm to stop her.

“I can’t go back there, I just can’t.” His blue eyes were pleading with her to understand. His grip was tight on her forearm, his jaw clenched, tension returning to his body.

“Jay,”

“I just want to go home. Lay in my own bed- with you- and sleep. Please, baby, don’t ask me to go back there.” Kim knew that she would spend all night worrying about Jay if she didn’t take him to the hospital. She knew she would toss and turn and be constantly checking to make sure he was okay, that he was breathing, and that his heart was beating. But the look in his blue eyes broke her heart. She knew why he didn’t want to go back to the hospital and it wasn’t his hatred of needles. Not this time.

“Let’s get you home then.”

[eerna]

How is the hate watching going? Love your rants 😭

Dhshshsh thank youuu~~

I finished the show, but I was so weak from how dumb the ending was that I forgot to blog about it. God. God what is this show. I will sum up my opinions here.

This isn't an adaptation, it's a totally different alt history with a fantasy twist story. There isn't a single plot point that happens the same way in both the book and the show, including the actual historical guidelines. I don't even think I noticed any book quotes (aside from a few remixed ones, like Jane inventing the "you come here often?" line). Idk why they didn't just call it something else, it's not like MLJ has a big fandom they could mooch off of.

I already whined about this but I need to re-establish it. All the changes made were to make the story into tiktok romantasy brainrot. The book was already super sweet and silly with the horniness appropriate for a YA romance, but these guys went full "booktok authors advertising their romantasy works" with it. It has tropes just for the sake of tropes a la Bridgerton, where it doesn't take its time to relish in any bc it has to sprint to the next one to check the box. How you mess up an arranged marriage plotline is beyond me, I think that Jane and Guildford called each other "wife" and "husband" like??? Twice???? Bc they were too busy holding each other at knife point or looking at each other's showering butts or whatever. They didn't even TRY to include the shared curse, apparently that was too boring and vanilla for them once they wrote in that Ethians keep their clothes on when transforming.

The plot is simply wack. The pacing is off because they stretched the first half of the story across 8 eps 50 minutes each, so a lot of the time everyone is pointlessly meandering waiting for the next plot point/reveal so everyone can move on. And this usually happens in the form of sex scenes. It is actually hilarious how many plot relevant sex scenes there are, at LEAST one per ep, where characters are discussing the plot and/or convincing each other to reveal their secrets. Do the writers know there are other situations that allow characters to talk to each other??? Even Jane and Guildford have sex and she goes "So about your dead mother"

The writers keep forgetring previously established stuff. Edward and Henry can imprison/execute anyone without trial, but Jane has to "find evidence" that these guys are trying to kill her. It is established Ethians absorb their clothes and any items they are holding into their animal form, but then Guildford is running around with a shackle around his neck claiming it will break his spine if he turns into a horse while it is on him, BUT THEN later he gets out of thick ropes that couldn't be cut by turning into a horse??????? Did they forget their own rules of magic??????

The dialogue isn't as bad as something you'd see on CW, but it still isn't good. I hate it when you can tell a show is trying to be edgy by constantly swearing and saying and doing shocking things, it feels unnatural and dumb. Mary in particular is the worst case of this, I don't think she has a single character trait there that isn't there for humor edgyness. She keeps licking and chewing random things, doesn't bathe, keeps getting turned on when her father and brother are mentioned, and has meltdowns like a spoiled child (at one point this is a plot point, as in "Jane gets her to get upset in public so she loses her political credibility", but there are 0 consequences and Mary keeps acting like a child in front of the entire court and NO ONE does anything and she is STILL QUEEN when credits roll on ep 8). This is the MAIN VILLAIN why is ANYONE afraid of her is beyond me. Also the cursing, murderous, racist, genocidal 10-year-old was so annoying and I kept imaging her parents and all of the writers getting sent to the salt mines for putting that little actress through that.

The lead actors are stuck in this mess. Jane and Guildford had good chemistry, in a "these actors clearly know what they are doing even if no one else in the production does" way. It went a step further and Jane had strange charged chemistry with others too, to the point where I was like "... Did she ever smash Susannah???" and "Are we adding Archer into the mix????". Lady Frances and Lord Dudley also made me think "I wish you were in a better show".

Around the midpoint of the show when I realized Jane is not yet gonna be deposed I was like "Oh no, are they splitting it into two seasons???" But then Edward finished up his portion of the story to join the finale and Archer joined Jane so I was like "Oh, they are just changing the culmination to happen during the execution". But THEN the show ends with a cliffhanger and a promise to dethrone Mary. S2 will look even less like the book, but maybe that's a blessing.

The soundtrack sounded so cheap and digital. Amazon do not lie to me and say you couldn't get an orchestra to record it. The tracks were on loop you literally needed like a few days tops to record it.

All in all. This show sucks man I am so annoyed at it

[autarkiia]

My hannigram fic is now complete! Take this, all of you, and eat of it.

Do you know what it means to be loved by death? by autarkia

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Hannibal (TV)

Relationship:

Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

Characters:

Will Graham

Hannibal Lecter

Alana Bloom

Beverly Katz

Jack Crawford

Will Graham's Dogs

Brian Zeller

Jimmy Price

Freddie Lounds

Dr. Frederick Chilton

Additional Tags:

Angst and Fluff and Smut

Religious Imagery & Symbolism

especially in sex

Discussions of Morality

some heavy symbolism in this one

creative tableaux

book recs in social sciences lol

Blood Kink

they flip TM

dom/sub dynamics

Domestic Fluff

Murder Husbands

Non-Consensual Drug Use

non-consensual cannibalism

BDSM

Biting

light Knife Play

all they do is scheme have gay sex and lie

Codependency

mutual obsession

Breathplay

Dark Will Graham

Unhealthy Relationships

toxic old man yaoi

Language: English Words: 88,123 Chapters: 24/24

Summary:

A story in which Will Graham gets everything he's ever wanted and loses everything he's ever been.

Notes:

The story diverges from canon in multiple ways, it's roughly set at the beginning of season 1, albeit in more modern times. I've taken the approach of remixing different aspects of the original story and creating something new that suited my vision. Either way, it's an AU story, where Will is a teacher and a profiler, and Hannibal is his FBI-appointed psychiatrist who also happens to consult on the cases if it means spending more time with the object of his obsession. The works of the Ripper also diverge from canon; I've taken some artistic liberty with his history and introduced new killers for Will to catch, who serve as a reflection of his inner struggles.

[maxwell-grant]

which of the SF characters would watch Oppennheimer and which would watch Barbie ?

Not doing all of them but

Ryu: Barbie. Probably got dragged into it by Sakura. Didn't get most of it but he liked it. Hopes Ken is doing allright ("I too know what it's like to struggle with my worst self") and gifts his Ken a "I am Kenough" shirt.

Ken: Mel wanted to watch Oppenheimer and Ken went along with him. Mel liked it, but Ken got bummed out at the story of a neglectful husband and father trying his best to help people and ruining lives over it.

Chun-Li: Her and Li-Fen went to Barbie in matching outfits. The mother's speech in the middle of the movie really, really resonated with her.

E. Honda: Goes to Barbie screenings painted pink to promote his business. If you even think about suggesting Oppenheimer to him he will slap you and you will deserve it.

Blanka: Barbie. Loved it, a little confused but trying to get the spirit, called up his mom and Sakura later to apologize in case he ever oppressed them or made them feel inadequate. Look out for pink variants of Blanka-chan in stores soon.

Guile: Neither, but his family dragged into Barbie. Spent most of it stone-faced but by the time of the Just Ken musical battle number he did crack up a bit.

Dhalsim: Neither.

Zangief: Went to Barbie with R.Mika. Laughed so loudly during the movie you could hear it outside the room. Launches an all-women wrestling course because he thinks muscle power is the solution to misogyny as it is to everything. Marisa enrolls in for a laugh.

Balrog: Neither. Thinks long movies suck and wouldnt be caught dead attending a girl movie.

Vega: Enjoyed both from a reserved patrician distance, couldnt relate to either of the protagonists in any way. Offended by the existence of Weird Barbie and the scenes with old women in it.

Sagat: Neither. But if one of the kids at his village asked, he would go watch Barbie with them and pretend he had a good time, would heavily criticize Ken for betraying his community in vain pursuits of power.

M. Bison: Barbie, and he likes it, not even for any nefarious reason. Doesn't care to watch Oppenheimer, 3 hours of a guy getting cold feet about doing something that Bison happily does at home for free (murdering scores of innocent civilians).

Cammy: Oppenheimer. Only attended Barbie because the other Dolls asked her to, but she didn't think much of it.

Dee Jay: Barbie, and he had a great time. Plays his own remixes of Just Ken and Dance the Night for several nights at the club afterwards.

Akuma: Neither. If he did, he would quit Oppenheimer in the first minutes, in disgust at Oppenheimer's weakness for trying to murder his teacher with a poisoned apple instead of his bare hands.

Dan: Didn't plan to watch either but people kept seeing him in the street and assuming he was on his way to watch Barbie. After doing so, he tries to aggressively rebrand the Saikyo Dojo as a feminist dreamhouse over the following weeks and fails.

Nash: Oppenheimer. Didn't feel anything other than sadness.

Rose: Doesn't enjoy movies very much, her powers predict the entire plot before it happens, but still went to watch Barbie with Menat and Maggio.

Sodom: Neither, but protests Oppenheimer screenings in defense of Japan and genuine disgust over the movie's subject matter, runs away crying whenever it's pointed out that he's a white jock.

Rolento: Disliked Oppenheimer for the protagonist being a lily-livered coward who couldnt stand by his own choices in defense of the country.

Sakura: Barbie. Had fun, but the parts where Barbie punches a guy and outruns the police and the mother outfoxes the Mattel executives in a car chase is kinda what she wished most of the movie was like, dissappointed only the Kens got to fight.

Gen: Neither. Dead.

Cody: Barbie. Liked it fine, I guess, wasn't boring.

Dudley: Went with Elena to watch Barbie. Found it a smashing good time and felt offended at how rudely the Kens treated the Barbies when they took over.

Necro: Cried during both with Effie. Barbie's crisis over her humanity and her moment at the bench really got to him.

Hugo: Went with Poison to watch Barbie. Enjoyed it more than she did, found himself relating a lot to the tiny violent Allan man who belongs nowhere.

Makoto: Barbie. Didn't like the daughter's character arc one bit and walked out of it hating Barbie as a concept more .

Rufus: Went to Barbie at Candy's insistence and my God you could not get this man to shut up about it for days afterwards. Added feminist to the list of self-aggrandizing adjectives he uses.

Seth: Pre-Doll Zero, he would have watched Oppenheimer and not liked it for it's preoccupation with pathetic human morality. Post-Doll Zero, he would resonate unbelievably hard with Barbie's arc and have a breakdown over the ending.

Juri: Saw both. Spend the entirety of Oppenheimer browsing her phone and making loud bomb/fart noises with her mouth and laughing. Thought Barbie sucked.

Poison: Went with Hugo to watch Barbie and kept planning ways to cash in the pink/Barbie craze for her business. Thought the movie was funny but kinda dumb.

Rashid: Barbie, really really liked it. Pirates the movie before it's out on digital to make a reaction stream and gets sued over it.

F.A.N.G: Oppenheimer. Besides the skin melting scene, dissappointed at how little it showed the scientific process behind building an atomic bomb or civilians dying, he kinda signed up just for those things.

Luke: Liked both, really wants to have his own Mojo Dojo Casa House and, besides the whole oppressing women thing which is totally uncool, doesn't think the Kens were doing anything that wrong.

Jamie: Wanted to watch Barbie but drunkenly wandered into Oppenheimer by mistake and had a really bad time.

Manon: Criticizes Barbie for muddled politics and found Barbie apologizing to Ken at the end viscerally disgusting.

Marisa: Neither. Went to watch Meg 2 because watching action stars fight a giant rampaging shark seemed like more of a good time to her. Thought the first one was a lot better.

JP: Majority shareholder at Mattel stock, politely claps during the screening.

AKI: Has spent the last weeks furiously testing out poisons on various plastics and chasing down Mattel executives for intel. Has a cunning plan to take over Barbieland and gift it to her master.

[lorekeeper-backset]

Okay, no, I have thoughts about Looker and Emma Ace Attorney Investigations style game now. We'll call it, Pokemon Investigations. We can decide if there's a subtitle or not later.

So, spitballing some thoughts around here and then if I'm still feeling it I'll start drafting up some cases. Let's go. The rest of you can feel free to jump in with ideas this would be a great collaborative writing project (or more if I can find someone with some coding knowledge).

Gameplay would be in the Investigations style that way we can have the classic Ace Attorney gameplay without having to find an excuse to put Looker in a courtroom.

Two settings options: 1, an alternate universe where Looker stays in Kalos or 2, Pasio. I personally lean towards 1 because it allows for a more varied set of locales and more opportunities for mystery.

Mimi serves as the method for the game's special mechanic. While I'd like to do Psyche-Locks but considering the fact that the main gameplay look is the same as the courtroom, breaking down lies in testimony, they'd be redundant. Maybe something more like Apollo's bracelet could work. Mimi's thousand yard stare sees all your lies and nervous twitches. Your soul lays bare before her.

Looker and Emma have a Phoenix/Maya style dynamic.

There will be a ladder/stepladder debate this is non-negotiable.

The game starts simple,l obviously, as a way to ease the player in and give a tutorial. As such, I think the first case should be a Stolen Pokemon Case with mostly original characters except for Looker and Emma. The thief is caught and everything's wrapped up nice and tight. No loose ends.

From the Second Case onward we start getting into murders. This is also where we could start dropping hints at an overarching plot. Personally, I kinda want it to be established that unlike in Ace Attorney, murders are not the standard. Looker and Emma deal with Missing Pokemon cases, not murders, and while Looker isn't a stranger to death as a part of his job as an International Police Officer, his job wasn't to investigate it.

In setting 1 (Looker Stays AU), the murders end up getting Looker thrown back into the Interpol life he tried to leave behind, with old cases coming back to haunt him.

All the Murders are significant enough to be investigated by Interpol with Anabel serving as the main Detective and, as a result, one of your main opponents. Essentially, she serves the same role as Shi-Long Lang.

Anabel refuses to let Looker and Emma investigate at first because they're civilians and not Interpol but they eventually convince her.

They start in Kalos but travel to other regions, likely ending in Alola where Nanu shows up.

Zinnia shows up at some point because I like her and she'd be a great witness to go up against.

Should we kill off canon characters? I'm not sure I have the heart to do that we should probably stick to OCs.

The music would ideally be pokemon-ified versions of Ace Attorney tracks or ace attorney-ified versions of Pokemon tracks (for example, a Pokemon-Style objection and confrontation theme or an Ace Attorney style remix of Heirs to Eternity or Emma's Theme). We could even have an Objection theme that incorporates Looker's theme.

Since Emma would have Xerosic's Pokemon we could have Pokemon Battles maybe? Or Pokemon Battles that are combined with Logic Chess so that instead of breaking imaginary Chess Pieces when you outmaneuver your opponent, you land a hit on their Pokemon. That might be too complicated.

[doubleddenden]

Had a thought about Pokemon for the first time in a while. DD's theory corner time:

Legends Arceus- Arceus is in the title, basically the kick to get the plot ball rolling, our ultimate goal

Legends Z-A, if we were to try basing it on the one title before it, probably references Zygarde. Makes sense if we compare the Z to XY- except the A.

Theory: Legends "2" has two title legendaries associated with it. The A is a new Norse inspired Pokemon that represents some new aspect of dimensions (like the X, Y, and Z planes of a graph that formulate latitude, longitude, and the spaces between).

I know I'm not the first to speculate this, but I think I do want to speculate exactly what the A could be. A certainly doesn't fit in with the XYZ planes (or at the least, nothing is really turning up on Google). HOWEVER, the Norse angle does have a hit we could try to wrestle with.

Xerneas, Yveltal, and Zygarde all represent various aspects of the specific Norse iteration of the World Tree mythos (the reason it's so popular world wide is because- much like the world turtle- mythos for world trees exist all around the world)- in this case, Yggdrasil.

Xerneas is the embodiment of life, and embodies aspects of the tree itself, plus seems to be based off of the 4 stags that eat at the branches of the tree. Their names are Dáinn, Dvalinn, Duneyrr and Duraþrór- no, I don't know how to pronounce those either, but basically as they eat at the branches, the life dew that forms on their antlers flows downwards to create rivers of the world. That's how we get to Xerneas being the tree, the stags, and life itself.

Yveltal is death, and possibly based on an "unnamed eagle" that sits atop the World Tree- aka the Y axis- Or it could possibly be the hawk called Veðrfölnir that sits between the eyes of the unnamed eagle. These birds are attested to be a source of knowledge and possibly are based off of Odin's ravens, which fly off and return with new knowledge. Hawks, Eagles, and Ravens are all birds associated with death to some degree, whether killing prey itself or scavenging dead corpses. That could be how we get a death bird that opposes a life deer

Zygarde is most likely based on the Nidhogg, a dragon that feasts on the roots of Yggdrasil and in particular seems to actually be a villain in early stories. The Nidhogg apparently nibbled and ate corpses of those who lost honor, particularly those guilty of adultery, murder, and oathbreaking. In this case, the fact that Zygarde watches the ecosystem could be a simple role reversal to what Yveltal was supposed to be, and could even embody various aspects of Norse pantheon itself.

Now there is one more prominent creature that could be worked with- Ratatosk- which is a squirrel like creature that communicates messages between the unnamed eagle and Nidhogg, and basically was sort of a chatty gossip that seemed to start shit on purpose, basically harassing the fauna of the tree and continuing the fued between Eagle and Nidhogg. This could already be incorporated into Zygarde's cell system, as the cells communicate with each other across the world- but seem to exist to SOLVE problems instead.

Still, as we've seen from the above, Game Freak isn't afraid to remix or twist ideas to make their own. So I'm gonna say Ratatosk has a strong chance of being legendary A, in this case. Something to note is that it may not be 100% a squirrel in this case, much like how Zygarde is a snake and a dragon, but it's still something that can be meddled with.

Now the question would be: what does A bring to the table that Life, Death, and Order does not?

Before that, let's ask WHY there'd be a Legendary A. Xerneas and Yveltal, by nature, are beings that go into long slumber once they've done their jobs- according to XY, that would have been about 3k years before the start of the story, where Yveltal drained the life of everyone and thing around it before turning into a cocoon, and/or Xerneas becoming a tree that granted life instead.

GF can do whatever they want, but there's something else to note: if ZA takes place ENTIRELY within Lumiose, that means we're not going to Geosenge where the cocoon or tree were to power the cannon Lysander almost destroyed the world with. Now they'll probably bring them back anyway, but if they'd play as big of a role as Zygarde, why not call the game XYZ like the anime?

Hence A. Pokemon loves legendary duos, and so A could potentially be the opposite of Zygarde. In other words: CHAOS, the opposite of order.

This could fit imo, given that Ratatosk loved to start shit. Not to mention, A is opposite to Z in the alphabet- certainly would explain why it pops up against the established XYZ.

Of course, you can't talk about Norse mythology in the modern Era without bringing up Thor or Loki. While Thor has yet to be represented imo (and hey, who is to say all we get is A in this case for a new legendary), Loki is probably one of the most well known people from this mythos. And, again, given that we've established that GF isn't afraid to mix things around, I personally think A will be a mix of Loki and Ratatosk.

In other words, a trickster that THRIVES on starting shit.

While it's initial basis for Ratatosk is a squirrel, Loki was a shapeshifter that took on various forms, including the infamous horse that would give birth (yes Loki got pregnant and gave birth) to the 8 legged horse, Sleipnir. Loki also took forms of creatures such as a fly, a salmon, and even an elderly woman.

Now picture this: doesn't this sound like something that could be used for traversal? A salmon or fish form for surfing, a fly or flying insect form for gliding or flying, a horse for faster traversal- if we throw in the squirrel, that could easily climb things, and the elderly woman could easily be worked in either as a villain, npc, or even integrated into a final form akin to Zygarde's 100% form.

So does the Pokemon transform? Does it work like Zygarde and have bits and pieces to collect? If it's Chaos, why would it help us?

That I'm unsure of. It may not even happen- but we do need a reason as to why suddenly Zygarde is okay with humans rebuilding Lumiose. And again, it could simply be trying to start shit, perhaps helping us retake a Lumiose reclaimed by nature as a way to simply piss off Zygarde. Of course, it could also be the enemy that took over Lumiose to begin with, or it could simply be a generic friend Pokemon, who knows.

It could even be that those forms mentioned earlier could be taken separately as new forms or special Pokemon akin to the likes of Wyrdeer or Kleavor. Or not at all of course.

We won't know jack until we get an actual trailer for the game itself, but I think that the red tinge in the title art could indicate something. Unclear what.

If I were to think of a name... Aosk? Like Chaos and Ratatosk. And the animal? A rat. On the nose, but snakes eat rats, and Zygarde is a snake. Duality, bitches.

We can probably assume AZ will be here since he's cursed with immortality, and we can't ignore the fact that Z-A is AZ backwards. So whatever it is, legendary A might have something to do with him as well.

In fact, now that I think about it, that red tinge does match the color of the canon... what if this was a Pokemon directly created as a result of the canon?

Anyway that's all my rambling.

[heyftinally]

I don't understand the fortnight cd??? Like they can buy a cd with 1 song on it?? How would that get it more streams if it's physical sales? And if it's a remix it would be that version getting the numbers?? I don't get any of it??? I dont get how she can be so greedy and butthurt that she might not be number 1 for 2 minutes???

So from the Official Charts website, this is how singles play into it:

"The Official Chart is the most comprehensive survey of its kind, almost a full market count in fact, it captures over 99% of all UK singles consumption, 98% of all albums and over 90% of all videos and DVDs. We count sales and streams from 8,000 sources every single day and then combine them all every Friday for the Official Charts, unveiled by BBC Radio 1 and published on OfficialCharts.com.

"Because buying a single or album is different to streaming a track, we use a formula to combine all of this information: 100 premium streams (when you pay for a subscription) or 600 ad-funded streams are counted as 1 single ‘purchase’.

"For albums, we count the 16 most-streamed tracks from any album, and divide by 1,000 to create an “album stream” unit. Each of these units are counted as equivalent to 1 album purchase (whether download, CD or vinyl) for chart purposes. Sales and streams of all versions of a track, including for example remixes, acoustic versions, live versions, sped-up versions, are all combined together into one total and one chart position in the Official Chart."

So that's how that works. As for her inability to not be the most worshipped person on the planet, my working theory is that her ego combined with her victim complex is blinding her to reality.

She's the definition of spoiled rich princess "I see it, I want it, I buy it". In this case, she's buying being the best/most liked (which...says a LOT if you ask me).

But because she's constantly the victim (in her eyes) of everything that happens, then "clearly" (sarcasm) her not being number one is because something has gone wrong, and not, y'know, because people just happen to not like her gross ableist garbage song as much as actually good music.

Basically, she has narcissistic behaviors through the roof, and if everything isn't about her and to her liking 24/7, she's automatically the victim in her mind.

The woman needs boatloads of therapy from a therapist who isn't afraid to tell her the cold hard truth. But that will almost definitely never happen. Which makes it all the more ironic that she used psychiatric torture and murder as an aesthetic for her shitty song.

[f1ghtsoftly]

All The Women’s News You Missed This Week

10/7/24-10/14/24

A South Korean Novelist takes home the Nobel Prize in Literature, Trump, and Harris vie for women voters. Women around the world continue to organize and fight male violence most notably this week accross South Africa, in Kolkata, and rural France. 

Want this sent to your email? Subscribe here

US Election:

Trump to join Fox News town hall with only women in audience

Obama’s callout to Black men touches a nerve among Democrats. Is election-year misogyny at play?

Abortion has passed inflation as the top election issue for women under 30, survey finds

Women’s Health and Reproductive Rights:

‘I found out I had cervical cancer while I was pregnant’

‘The View’ abortion ad signals wider effort to use an FCC regulation to spread a message

Moreno’s abortion comment rattles debate in expensive Senate race in Republican-leaning Ohio

Texas man drops case against 3 women for helping his ex-wife get abortion pills

Transgender/Gender Critical:

A kitchen staffed by trans women is a refuge for Mexico City’s LGBTQ+ community

‘Saboteurs’ release thousands of crickets at gender-critical group LGB Alliance's London event

Colorado court ducks deciding if baker could refuse to make LGBTQ-themed cake

California Gov. Gavin Newsom signs and vetoes LGBTQ+ legislation

Florida mom of trans student sues school district, claiming retaliation and violation of rights

Women In The News:

The stats and shoes behind Chepngetich's amazing marathon world record

New Zealand ship didn’t sink because its captain was a woman, the ‘appalled’ defense minister says

American equal pay icon Lilly Ledbetter dies aged 86

Lupita Nyong'o speaks of family ordeal and condemns 'chilling' Kenya crackdown

'My employers locked me in the house and left when the bombings started'

How South Korea's 'real-life mermaids' made Malala want to learn to swim

Marine Le Pen hits back in EU funds misuse trial

Ukrainian journalist, 27, who chronicled Russian occupation dies in prison

Mothers seek justice for minors detained in Venezuelan election aftermath

Male Violence Against Women:

NY prosecutors want to combine Harvey Weinstein’s criminal cases into a single trial

Jury finds ex-member of rock band Mr. Bungle guilty of killing his girlfriend

Dad told police he killed Sara Sharif, court hears

Chris Brown concert shines spotlight on violence against women in South Africa

YouTuber Yung Filly charged with raping woman in Australia

Interpol asks public to help crack murdered women cold cases

Accused men confronted with abuse videos in French mass rape trial

Madeleine McCann suspect cleared of rape charges in separate trial

Sean 'Diddy' Combs' sex trafficking trial set for May

OnlyFans user pleads guilty in child pornography case

Arts and Culture:

South Korea's Han Kang wins Nobel Literature Prize

Art becomes outrage: Kolkata festival confronts crime against female doctor

K-pop star to testify on music industry bullying

Muni Long believes ‘Revenge’ is a dish best served with success

Riley Keough felt a duty to finish Lisa Marie Presley’s book on Elvis, grief, addiction and love

Music Review: Charli XCX’s ‘Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat’ remixes, ranked

Music Review: ‘Sex Education’ star Dua Saleh’s debut, ‘I Should Call Them’ is arty, experimental pop

Rekha at 70: Bollywood's timeless icon

Tributes paid to author's 'empathy and respect'

Experience artist Es Devlin's powerful new work

Disclaimer review: Cate Blanchett gives an 'increasingly frenzied' performance in this 'engrossing' revenge thriller

'I was told Mr Loverman was too niche for TV'

As always, this is global and domestic news from a US perspective covering feminist issues and women in the news more generally. As of right now, I do not cover Women’s Sports. Published each Monday afternoon.