#much ado about nothing au

[teddy06writes]

Much Ado About Nothing

Alfie Solomons x fem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of drinking,

Premise: It's a Much Ado About Nothing AU, with Alfie as Benedick and Reader as Beatrice

Useful links: click here for a plot summary of the play, here for access to a version w/David Tennant and Katherine Tate, here for a proshot of a production at the Globe, and here for a wonderful video essay that discusses the plot and has a very insightful tangent about Judaism in Shakespeare.

{I've got a lot going on right now what with the production I'm in being in tech, plus even if I'm doing a simplified version of this, it's still quite a bit of work to go through the script bit by bit, I've decided that I'm going to just release the bit that I have done, and then if people really want more I'll do it in parts}

{Most dialogue is either directly quoted or paraphrased directly from the original text}

It was a beautiful day in the seaside town of Margate, and for the first time in years, you and your family were finally able to enjoy it. The war had been over for months, and with the arrival of spring, it felt like the world was finally alive again.

You were out lounging on the veranda with your cousin Esme, and her friend Ada, enjoying the fresh air when you heard footsteps coming down the gravel driveway. Esme sat up, in her deck chair, "Are we expecting company?"

"I didn't think so." You frowned.

Ada was already at the railing, peering around to try and make out who it was, "I don't recognize him- but he is wearing an army uniform!"

Esme let out a squeal, all but jumping up out of her chair and rushing over to look over Ada's shoulder. You let out a groan, reaching for your drink.

It only took a few moments for your uncle, Johnny Dogs to come bursting out onto the veranda, a letter in hand, and followed closely by Polly and the messenger Ada had seen, "I've learned, in this letter, that Tommy Shelby and his unit are coming to Margate, this very night!"

Esme let out another squeal, quickly chattering away to Ada, filling her in on the events of the Unit's last stop in Margate just before the war.

"He was very near by this," The messenger offered, "They were just getting into town when I left them."

Johnny Dogs nodded, "And how many gentlemen did you lose in this- action?"

"Our unit seems to oppose the rest of the war: we lost few of sort and none of name." The messenger said proudly. This prompted another little burst of excitement from Esme.

"A victory is twice itself when the achievers return home in full number."

Johnny aimed a pointed look at her, reading a bit more from the letter, "It says here, that Tommy has bestowed much honor on his younger brother John."

You chuckled as Esme went bright red, practically glaring back across the veranda with the look of someone caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by the Sergeant Major. He bore himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion. He has indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect me to tell you." The messenger excepted the drink offered to him.

You pulled yourself up out of your chair, "I pray you, has signor Mountanto returned from the war, or no?"

The messenger turned to you with a frown, "I know none by that name, Lady."

"My cousin means that Captain Solomons from Camden town." Esme spoke up, glad the attention was finally gone from her and her crush.

"Oh, he's returned and as pleasant as ever."

You let off a scoff, "I pray you, how many has he killed and eaten in this war? How many has he killed, for I have sworn to eat all his killing."

"Niece, you tax Mr. Solomons too much." Johnny Dogs scolded.

Polly chuckled from where she'd taken up your empty chair, "But he'll meet with you, I have no doubt."

The messenger still focused on you, "He has done good service in the war, lady."

You raised an eyebrow, "You had stale food, and he helped you eat it. He's a very brave eater. He has good stomach for it."

"And a good soldier, too, Lady."

"And a good soldier to a lady," You shot back, "But what is he too a lord?"

"A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all honorable virtues."

"It is so indeed," You nodded, punctuating your words with a sip from your drink, "He is no less than a stuffed man. but for the stuffing- well, we are all mortal."

"You must not mistake my niece, sir," Johnny Dogs interrupted, quickly explaining, "There is a kind of merry war between Mr. Solomons and her: they never meet but there is a skirmish of wit between them."

You groaned, "He learns nothing by that!"

"It's true enough." Ada teased.

You crossed to the rail of the veranda, leaning back against it, "In our last conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and now the whole man is governed with one. So that if he have wit enough to keep him warm, it marks the difference between he and his horse. It is all the wealth he has left, to be known for a reasonable creature."

The messenger let out a laugh, "Truly?"

"Aye," You nodded, "Tell me, who is his companion now? He has a new sworn brother each month."

"Is it possible?"

"Very easily possible, he wears his faith like the fashion of his hat- it always changes with the next block."

"I see, Lady. The gentlemen is not in your books." The messenger nodded as if he finally understood.

"No, and if he were I would burn the whole library." You nodded in a agreement, "But truly, who is his companion? Is there no young man who make voyage to the devil with him?"

"He's mostly in the company of the younger Shelby brother: John." And as he gestured back toward Esme, who blushed again, you had to hand it to the messenger: he was a quick learner.

"Oh lord," You groaned, "He will hang upon him like a disease. Alife is sooner caught than the pestilence and the taker always runs mad. God help young John, if he has caught the Solomons it will cost him much to be cured of it."

The messenger chuckled, "I will hold friends with you lady."

You grinned, reaching out to clink your glass to his, "Do, good friend."

"And you'll never run mad niece?" Your uncle asked.

"No, not till a hot january." You quipped.

Before anyone else could retort, the sound of gravel crunch under tires filled the air, and Johnny Dogs was leading the way off the veranda and around the side of the house to meet the new guests.

There in the driveway, your little party was met with the grimmer one of Mr. Shelby. Thomas himself was leading the way towards the house from the cars, flanked by the others as he called, "Johnny Dogs, you've come to meet your trouble. You know the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, yet you encounter it."

Johnny Dogs let out a barking laugh, "Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of you and your good men. For trouble being gone, comfort remains and when you leave- sorrow abides and happiness leaves with you."

"You brace your charge too willingly." Still, Tommy allowed himself to be dragged into his hug. When they seperated, Tommy caught sight of the rest of the party, "Ah, then this your daughter, Esme."

"Her mother has many times told me so."

Finally disentangling himself from the ruckus being made by the soldiers now that they were out of Tommy's orders, Alfie appear at his side, "Were you in doubt sir, that you asked her?"

"Ah, Mr. Solomons, no, for then you were only a child." Johnny said, slapping him on the back.

"You have it full Alfie, and we can tell what kind of man you are for it," Tommy, turned making his way back to Esme, "Surely the lady fathers herself. Be happy lady, for you are like an honorable father."

"If Johnny Dogs be her father, then she would not have his head on her shoulders for all of Margate!" Alfie laughed, but the group had already moved away, as Tommy caught up with the rest of the household.

From where you had found a perch against the side of the house you sighed, "It's a wonder you will still be talking, Alfie. Nobody marks you."

"What-" Alfie slowly turned on his heel, taking in the sight of you, lounging in the sun, "My dear Lady Disdain- are you yet living?"

You smirked, raising your glass towards him mockingly, "Is it possible disdain should die when she has such food to feed on as Alfie Solomons? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence."

"Then is courtesy a turncoat. But, it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepting," He wagged a finger in your direction, "and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart- for truly, I love none."

"A dear happiness to women!" You cheered, pushing off the wall to stalk closer to him. "They would else have been troubled by a horrid suitor. I thank god and my cold blood that I am of your humor for that, I would rather hear a dog bark at a crow than a man swear that he loves me."

Alfie barked out a laugh, pointing a finger your direction, "God keep your ladyship in that frame of mind! So some gentleman or other can escape a scratched face!"

"Scratching could not make it worse, if it were such a face as yours."

"Well, you are a rare parrot teacher!" Alfie scoffed.

Your face suddenly felt hot, and you scrambled to retort, "Well better a bird of my tongue than a beast of yours!"

"I would my horse had the speed of your tongue and so a good continuer. But keep your way, in god's name, I am done." He all but waved you away, turning to follow as the rest of the company began to make their way into the house.

You sat for a long moment, watching him disappear, before shaking your head and making your way back around towards the veranda, muttering, "You always end with a jade's trick. I know you of old."

[kanthonyficrecs]

Featured Fic (Modern AU)

my heart was never pure (you know me) by thesunwontset Rating: T Status: WIP Summary: Kate Sharma has hated Anthony Bridgerton ever since he pushed her off the swings when they were little, and now she doesn’t quite know what to do with that pull under her skin that emerges whenever Anthony walks into a room.

[just-anotherrandomartist]

big fan of female rage and grief and also the gender implications of this line

[emotional-support-demon-crowley]

Is Not That Strange?

Chapter 15 of the Good Omens human AU has escaped containment.

Crowley has shown an aptitude for avoidance. Perhaps Aziraphale needs to try alternate methods to telegraph his intentions...

(If they don't get their shit sorted soon, I'm going to run out of gifs of David Tennant looking disgruntled from his run as Benedick in Much Ado...)

Fic updates every Monday and Thursday!

[ausandsuch]

Ok remember how i said I was done with Hamletcraft and I was gonna get back to work on my actual story well I lied Joel is Beatrice and Etho is Benedick and they are Much Ado About Nothing

[transfemmbeatrice]

claudio is engaged to beatrice after hero actually fucking dies and he thinks, for the briefest moment, that his wife with the hellfire in her eyes might someday be capable of love because he can't understand that she already is. she's fucking possessed by it. it keeps her from choking on her vows, it keeps her from flinching from his touch, it keeps her calm and sane, not love for benedick but love for HERO so that in the bed they would have shared, she removes the knife benedick had given her, hidden on her, and presses it against his throat, letting him know that this is for hero before she bleeds him like a pig. benedick is waiting with their horses, and they are gone long before his body discovered.

welcome to "hero dies" au, cocreated with @zaxal

[liveblogsandthots]

pynch much ado about nothing au

[shameless-pug]

Good Omens au where everything's the same except Crowley wears these glasses instead of his normal glasses

[jewishrizahawkeye]

what if i wrote a much ado about nothing royai fanfic that took place in high school/college and then got it published as a book and then it gets so big they adapt it into a teen romcom and that’s how i finally get my 2000’s teen romcom for much ado about nothing?

[softquietsteadylove]

can you write thenamesh The Tourist AU pls? if you can’t/don’t want to it’s totally alright i love your work anyway <3💌

Gil just stared. He couldn't believe it, and he was seeing it. But this woman - the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on in his life - just...sat right down. He looked around a little, trying to see if she had mistaken him for someone else. But she was looking right at him. "Uh, h-hello."

"Hello." God, even her voice was gorgeous. He closed his lame little spy book on the table between their seats. "I'm Thena. What's your name?"

"Gil."

"That's a terrible name."

"It's the only one I've got," he shrugged sheepishly, and she smiled. This was different from the smile she had sat down with, too. This was more genuine seeming (cuter). "It's short for Gilgamesh."

"Hm," the woman's eyes dashed down to the table for a second before coming back up to him. "Better."

It was still the only name he had. "So, uh, what brings you to Venice?"

She eyed him, and then those killer eyes floated a little away from him too. She still seemed to be looking for someone, even if he was the one on whom she had settled. "Meeting someone."

"Ah." Of course--of course the positively stunning woman was already meeting someone. Probably a husband, if not a very handsome partner. He watched as she peeled her gloves off.

She didn't have a ring on. "And you?"

"Hm?" he blinked, still borderline dizzy from the appearance of this woman in his life.

"What brings you here," she paused, her perfect lips forming his name before it was spoken aloud, "Gilgamesh?"

"Just Gil," he corrected her and then immediately shook his head. She smiled again, though--that more real one. He smiled too, somewhat encouraged. "I'm just a tourist, really."

She tilted her head at him. "Just a tourist?"

Gil blushed faintly, fiddling with the worn and frayed edge of his book cover. "I teach."

"Here for summer break, is it?"

"Something like that," he chuckled, looking at her hands again. It was entirely possible that she simply didn't feel the need to wear one. Or perhaps they had been together so long it was a formality. But he couldn't help but tilt his head right back at her.

"What?"

He shrugged, shaking his head faintly. "Look, far be it from me to ask a lady this. But you seem...I dunno, a little lonely?--or something."

But she smiled at him again, although it was back to being that faker one. It did seem a little sad, though. "Aren't we all?"

He was a single teacher taking a train to Venice alone, who was he to talk? "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Wife?"

Definitely not. "Nothing of the sort. You?"

She looked down at her hands too, and maybe the lack of ring was not entirely by choice. "That has yet to be seen."

Were they going to be engaged? Or maybe was she was going to break things off, offer some dramatic ultimatum.

"Invite me to dinner, Gil."

He liked how she said Gil. It sounded so gentle and warm off her lips. Truly stunning lips. He cleared his throat, "would you like to have dinner?"

"Don't phrase it as a question."

"You said ask you to dinner."

"I said to invite me to dinner," she countered, and hints of the smile were returning. She was a woman who knew what she was after (god he liked that). "Try again."

He laughed, but sure, he gave it another shot. "Have dinner with me."

"Too demanding." Okay, now he was pretty sure she was just having some fun with him. "You are not summoning me. Again."

He sighed and rolled his eyes, and he did get a more genuine laugh out of her. Y'know what?--so long as she was having fun, maybe this wasn't so bad. "Uh...dinner?"

"Still a question," she borderline teased him. She leaned forward in her seat faintly, "once more."

One more shot to have dinner with the woman of his dreams. He straightened up in his seat, rolled his shoulders back and tugged at his sports coat. She seemed to respond to this, mirroring his posture. "I'm having dinner, if you care to join me."

Now the smile was back, and in full force. She smiled with all her teeth, which was really cute. She had a very pretty smile for an even more beautiful face. But he got the distinct impression there was a lot more to her than her looks.

"I would be delighted."

"Well then," Gil nodded, tapping his fingers against the edge of the table and its white table cloth. He still didn't know what made her come over to him, and ask him to dinner (or ask him to ask her to dinner, more like). But he smiled, "shall we?"

"Lets," she agreed. She was waiting for him to make the first move again.

Okay, sure; Gil stood, adjusting his plain old blazer and tugging at the sleeves to make sure they were straight. He was a little underdressed compared to Thena in her stark white dress and fancy gloves. But he held his hand out for her, "madame?"

"Enchante," she smiled, slipping her hand into his to stand as well. Her eyes darted around a little over his shoulder but perhaps he was being paranoid thanks to his silly spy book. "Have you had the food board?"

"From Padua to here," he nodded as he led them in the direction of the dining car. How she walked in those heels was beyond him, even if the train was pretty smooth a ride. "It's not bad."

"Padua," she mused and them grinned at him again, "you really are a tourist."

He pinked again, and he was beginning to think she just enjoyed flustering him. "Where are you coming from?"

She did that thing where she kind of scanned behind around them again before answering, "Paris."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, "overrated. And you call me the tourist."

She tugged at his sleeve faintly, as if to admonish him, "you're the American."

He chuckled, "guilty."

"Not yet," she whispered as she moved in the train aisle to walk ahead of him. He was about to ask her about it when she turned back to him, "are you ready for this?"

He wasn't entirely sure what she was asking about, but he was damn ready to find out.

[just-anotherrandomartist]

i am being consumed by thoughts of them they are so silly to me

[marcianoliterati]

Bea and Ben: or, A College of Wit-Crackers - Chapter 1 - TheFledglingDM - Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare [Archive of Our Own]

This is one of my fave modern adaptations of Much Ado About Nothing, it does a great job updating the setting and giving Claudio and Them what they deserve

[lipsticklens]

i can put myself + my f/o in any au i want.

[sweetlullabyebye]

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED (I'm fine I don't know why I'm writing in all caps):

Anderperry, but as greek mythology?

As actual Shakespearean plays?

Because I have.

Todd and Neil as Orpheus and Eurydice.

As Hades and Persephone.

As Romeo and Juliet.

As... something else that I cannot think of right now.

I don't know, I just, like, yes??? They're just made for tragedies and myths, and yeah. Yeah.

[lajulie24]

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

Answered here, thank you! Although I will add that Han and Leia are very Benedick and Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing, so would definitely be open to that as a specific AU idea as well.

Thank you so much for the ask!

Fanfic writer asks!

[chaotic-aro-incarnate]

Me several years ago: I will die not being an ABO author

The overly complex worldbuilding I've created for a My School President ABO au: *exists*

Me now: When I said I would die not being an ABO author, I did not think I should live till I had written one