#mu qing is a hot mess

[thornycoconut]

Do people not realize the people who enjoy mu qing as a character like him because of his flaws? It's not that he can do no wrong. It's not that we think he made no mistakes lol. He makes them and has a shit attitude.

We aren't celebrating his wrongdoings. We're loving his willingness to apologize.

We're appreciating him finally admitting he wants to be f-f-friends. There is a reason that word pops up like that in posts and fanfic all the time. We are definitely making fun of him. He is ridiculous.

No one makes fun of or criticizes mu qing better than a fan.

Where many draw the line is at unfair or inappropriate criticism. Or excessive grudges (looking at you hua cheng 🤣).

Mad at him for quitting his job? Inappropriate.

Mad at him for the spiritual land fight? Appropriate, but we have things to say about the grudge being excessive.

Mad at him for little honger not being kept by xie lian? Unfair.

Etc etc.

We make fun of this man all the time. everything from his terrible disguise, his dramatics, emotional constipation, to even his weapon etc from canon. Also, memorizing a poem about your rival? Yeah okay, totally normal.

In fanon we even exaggerate or expand on his flaws. Ever read some mu qing centric fics? You'll notice a pattern of making life harder for himself because of them. It makes it all the more satisfying when everything goes sideways on him and he has to actually do a real simple emotional thing he'd avoided initially. Only now it's so much worse than before.

In fanon mu qing's greatest obstacle is his avoidance of saying, "I care about you" or some other thing that most people say easily. That's it. He could even pass it in a note, but the ridiculous man is too scared and fussy.

That isn't to say mu qing fanon creations are simple or easy. He as a character just turns something that should be easy and makes it an anxiety inducing trip to hell. and you have to prod him every inch of the way to claw his way out. Ao3 is full of fics where he has to tell someone he loves them or he'll die, and he really is set on dying half the time. The other half he really has to think about it and wait til last minute. Like he is REALLY RIDICULOUS in fanon.

Another major part of mu qing fanon is getting him to face and work on his major flaws. Like sir, you can't just say friends? It has to come out like f-f-friends? Really? Get it together, man. Let's get you some therapy and an emotional support dog. You'll be acknowledging you might love someone in 50k words.

Anyway, yeah, mu qing is appealing because of his flaws.

[bafvkun]

In my mind Feng Xin is really the kinda guy that would do little acts of love all throughout the day, like a good gentleman. He’d hold the door, hold Mu Qing by the small of his back to guide him when there’s a lot of people or straight up take his hand, put MQ’s hands in his own pocket to keep them warm (I love the MQ always cold and FX always hot HC) but like he does it all with a straight face, he doesn’t realize how actually romantic he’s being.

And I can just see Mu Qing build up inside because of all those sweet acts of love and care and start getting more flustered the more Feng Xin does them and at some point the oblivious idiot that FX is will realize that there’s something wrong with MQ. He’ll just be confused as fuck as of why MQ is blushing and everything WHILE having his hand resting on his hip to keep him close while looking at cute things and telling him « they look like us ».

Mu Qing would just be a fucking mess internally while Feng Xin is eternally at peace because he doesn’t realize what he does, it just comes absolutely naturally to him.

[veliseraptor]

WAIT ONE MORE IF YOU'RE GAME: mu qing/hua cheng 👀

yesss. hahaha yesssssssss <- me, about these two, constantly. like, the only reason I'm not thinking about them more is a decided lack of people to share that thinking with but oh boy would everything about their relationship be an absolute hot mess and it'd be great (for me)

the devotion here is for sure the fucked up kind but particularly hua cheng's devotion to loathing mu qing forever is Notable to me. all that remains is for them to get weirder about it. but also like. what if post-canon huaqing, that could be fun too, mostly I think about 800 year timeskip huaqing but consider--

[purplehanfu]

Rising Feather: Episode 1

notes: Spoilers! Master list of all recaps

We start with… oh my.

Have not seen this before in a cdrama.

But we don't have time to dwell as we need to keep the story moving- we only have 12 minutes per episode, after all.

We meet our male lead Yun Huan who is out in the woods, exterminating Princess Huai's rebels. Just as he finishes the fight, a messenger arrives with a letter. It must be important to be delivered in the dead of night in a remote wooded location, right? Not really- it's Yun Huan's father-in-law Lord Mu announcing that he's taking in a new concubine. Yun Huan heads home immediately as instructed.

And when I say home, I mean a brothel where the concubine-to-be is dancing a solo. Tonight's lucky lady is the female lead Qing Que, who has a complicated past, if all the flashbacks are anything to go by.

Qing Que begins to make meaningful eyes at Yun Huan as soon as he arrives, and tries to incorporate him into her act.

Yun Huan shoves her away but steals a sachet from her as they tussle.

Later as she walks back to her room, Qing Que has a flashback where we find out Que is an assumed name and she's targeted Lord Mu's family on purpose. The ultimate goal: assisinate Yun Huan. And speak of the devil, he's in her room waiting for her.

He tells her he knows there is poison in the sachet. Instead of turning her in, he gives it back to her and essentially says good luck murdering your new husband. He also makes the following observation:

(This will become important in less than a minute.)

After she returns to the party, Lord Mu grabs Qing Que and starts to remove her veil.

The veil comes off and Lord Mu recognizes Qing Que. So does Yun Huan. Cut to flashback!

It's snowing and no one is wearing a coat but everyone has an umbrella that they can dramatically let fall to the ground at just the right part of the OST.

We find out that Yun Huan and Qing Que had a relationship.

A relationship that ended when Yun Huan found out that Qing Que was Lord Huai's daughter.

Oh noes, those are the rebels he was fighting back at the start of the episode! This level of betrayal merits a stabbing.

oof, right in the ovary

Yun Huan lets Qing Que slide gracefully to the ground and sadly makes the following promise:

Naw dog, I'm good. Qing Que is still alive, but Yun Huan roots around her clothes and steals a broken jade ornament.

Then he walks to where his current wife is waiting for him and they leave.

Cue the single tear. End episode.

why do I keep switching directions?

Final Thoughts This is either a masterpiece of non-linear storytelling or a hot mess.

Master list of all recaps

[ilovereadingandstuff]

SO, I SAW THIS PICTURE RIGHT HERE ON PINTEREST...

And I thought, at first, that it was just a fanart, right??

just a fanart, a really nice one.

And, i mean, why would the novel include such a situation of Xie Lian in heat to say the least, completely overwhelmed by lust and mortal desires, accompanied for Hong-er (who i finally know it's hua cheng's younger self)...right??

Like, that kind of situation only occurs in fanfics, right?? right?!?!

so...I WAS WRONG!!

This picture is FUCKING CANON!!!

I CAN'T STILL FUCKING BELEIVE IT!!!

I can just say that...I'm falling in love with mxtx novels. That's it.

Because...IT WAS SO CONVENIENT, MAN!! BUT ALSO SO WELL DONE!!

Mister laughstocking of the three realms here was drugged in the middle of the forest by flowers with an aphrodisiac effect (basically).

And yeah!!, HE STARTED TO FEEL SO HOT INSIDE THE CAVE, Y'KNOW??

IT WAS A LITTLE TO HOT IN THERE, am i right??

So he started to stripped down, sweating like crazy, moaning, winning all the way...

and then... HE NEEDED HELP!! He was trying to keep up with the 'purity of mind' bullsh*t and was mostly going insane for bloodlust...

SO, GUESS WHO WAS ALSO THERE?!?!

Not Feng Xin, not Mu Qing nor Wind Master...

NON OTHER THAN MISTER SATAN ITSELF, HUA CHENG!!!

I mean...when he was a kid. his younger self.

He was just thirteen back then.

So yeah!! I loved it wasn't weird the narration, to be honest. Nothing weird nor cringe happened between them even thought xl was...impotent at the moment...

because, yeah, a 20 yo guy messing up in that way with a kid 7 years younger...would have been quite weird to read, honestly.

But it wasn't!! It didn't end the way i was preparing myself to be.

And, well, for the context, it made sense all of it, obviously.

I was actually surprised.

As a obsesive reader myself, i'm used to see this kind of specific situation only at fanfiction most of times. and when they happen in canon...i've find myself reading really uncomfortable scenes which a later regret to read, y'know?

So, I was truly taken aback when I realized where all the 'yao flowers' were about, and when xl entered inside the cave with Hong-er and started going insane for the heat, lust and all...

not gonna lie, i was excited. but nervious, at the same time.

I knew that this situation could become weird at any moment with the wrong line or wrong description...but I was soooo relieved that it wasn't that way!!

I'm truly happy for that. and even when Hong-er touched him!!! even that scene didn't feel cringe nor inappropiate.

you get what i mean??

I just wanted to share my reaction with this chapter and also wanted to point out that, yeah, the novels are good. like, reallyy good.

I don't regret discovering this new fandom and show, not a bit. and yeah...i'll continue reading. I'm heading towards book 4 now, hehe.

[winepresswrath]

My real problem with bitter exes Mu Qing/Xie Lian is that I love a hot mess so enough messy bitterness has me sitting up like, hey maybe these crazy kids can make it work after all! Maybe they SHOULD kiss!!

In all honesty, same. I like to envision a universe in which I could prefer the bitter exes as exes but I don't think I've ever actually managed it. I do sort of think Mu Qing dating Xie Lian would be an exercise in misery, but tbh that's pretty hot. And I am genuinely really interested in the idea of them (and Feng Xin) becoming friends again, but Mu Qing getting to know the version of Xie Lian who understands that someone has to actually do the laundry and is kind of a bitch sometimes is particularly appealing to me, because I think he'd really just like him so much!

[paradife-loft]

A Smattering of More TGCF Thoughts, Having Finished Book 3

*not exhaustive, because that would be way too much; but still apparently enough rambling to need a cut for length

EVERYTHING IS METAPHYSICAL WORLDBUILDING...... I don’t even know if I have a specific place I’d want to start with this, bc it’s all just deeply fascinating trying to tease out how it all works, but. mmmm delicious crunchy worldbuilding on what heavenly officials (of each court) and ghosts even are, and how spiritual power works! what exactly ascending is, and what role “fate” plays in that, and what even is fate really? what relationship does fate have to social standing in one’s mortal life?

this is my shit. I love to know how it all works. I will poke at all the things.

BLACK. WATER. XUAN. it is probably obvious by now that I am in massive hearteyes with He Xuan?? just. the dramatic flair! the extent of being SO wronged! intense murder aesthetic!  d e d i c a t i o n. power and planning and being utterly terrifying as a trap closing in when the time comes - and an absolute Weirdo antisocial half-person Mess the rest of the time! “I am going to give you all these tests as opportunities to show that you see me, the person your successes came at the very literal physical cost of, and CARE to rectify that horrible injustice. show me that you give a fuck! show me that you’re not just stuck in your pampered myopic little heavenly heads!”

I am a little disturbed by how quickly I’ve built up a whole headcanon persona and POV for He Xuan already despite. not having finished the book yet. :’D what can I say though, intense capacity for violence, plus messy depression/depersonalisation badbrains, plus unstable identity and literally subsuming other beings into yourself, plus hella fucked up relationship with food... This Is Coming For Me Where I Live rn <33

(nom nom transmisogynists make a delicious crunchy snack~)

honestly it’s kind of like, the more intense my feelings & thoughts about a character are, the harder it is for me to really ramble properly about them without more specific prompts.... oops. but just know, I have many He Xuan thoughts. hot damn.

Yin Yu and Quan Yizhen ;____; god, I just have.... a lot of feelings about the way in which Status Issues Fuck Them Up. and about how Yin Yu ends up taking all this blame not because he’s A Bad Person, but also not because he’s Framed Horribly and Is Totally Innocent? he’s just very real, and imperfect, and his personal shortcomings combine with events to create a complete and utter clusterfuck :(

CORPSE RATS CORPSE RATS :D I am enjoying literally everything that’s eaten other spirits in this book honestly. delightfully fucked up favourite “taking on traits of a thing you consume” trope :D

Mount Tong’lu especially, but also just a certain amount of the aesthetic of this book in general, is once again Reminding Me Of Dark Souls. it’s the combo “gain more power by murdering other entities and consuming their souls” / “transformational Final Level specifically called a kiln” thing, I think.

so I guess it’s canon that the Supremes are a “mentally unstable obsessives only” club??? :’D I have a lot of feelings about much-younger-ghost!Hua Cheng just kind of. spending ten years alternately nerding out over trying to learn to read a dead language, and trying to... depict his devotion and somehow express/externalise the very story of who he even is into this empty underground series of caverns? trying to pound it into his head to, like, remember who he is and make SOME part of the world witness to what’s made him, even though (and because) he can’t actually open up about any of that to any other people?

like hmm, certainly I don’t think he’s losing it during the Mount Tong’lu experience as much as, say, certain other individuals might have (*cough*), because he’s not literally taking the essences of other beings into himself, just getting a power-up - but that alone, killing so much and experiencing that kind of metaphysical change, must already be kind of disorienting and weird? especially if you’re functionally alone the whole time?? which is to say, sure, the thousand gods and all the murals might have been a little bit of a monument to Hua Cheng being batshit crazypants for a while, but given the material circumstances of 10 years of isolation/ling nerding/murder, I really cannot blame him. (I would also rather not have other people, certainly not the object of my affection & obsession, get to see those things! that is entirely relatable, not sinister!)

(obligatory “what would a centuries-old sourdough starter from Mount Tong’lu be like“ joke....)

although. that said. I continue! to be not okay! with the extent of Literal Hero Worship happening in this relationship! “if you don’t have anything else to live for, then live for me!” like ok ok it is all very well and good that you said that as a dumbass naive teenage god, and clearly don’t believe in any such thing anymore, but. Hua Cheng! has not gotten over that! he is still very much in that headspace! “oh don’t worry my ashes are in a totally safe place bc if the place where I hid them was destroyed then I would have no reason to live either ~<3″ NO. NO BAD. EXTREMELY BAD, HUA CHENG SIT DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANT UNTIL I FIND YOU SOMEONE TO TALK YOU THROUGH THIS SHIT.

I just. mmmmmmmnnn. I really enjoy how they interact with one another most of the time! I’m also just... not cool with the level of power disparity in terms of psychological vulnerability to one another, that seems pretty fundamentally baked into the dynamic :/

(it’s funny bc this is the opposite of the panic Mu Qing & Feng Xin were having over Hualian, oops)

actually while I’m being a whole-ass Downer about ships, I will also mention that I do Not get shipping those two..... like “excessive bickering” has never appealed to me in the first place but also. FX seems to genuinely think MQ is a bad person?? and doesn’t understand what his perspective is like in general? perhaps I am simply A Bit Sensitive to people misunderstanding someone and thinking they’re a bad person bc they’re not Nice And Cheerful And Personable, but. eugh, no thank you.

miscellaneous thoughts....

Ling Wen can honestly do as many murders as she feels like, I’m not too broken up about this ultimately :////

Xie Lian’s trauma response panic mode whenever he sees White No-Face! it’s upsetting!

White No-Face is not valid specifically for the reason that I wanted the next ghost king to come out of the kiln to add something cool to the Calamities’ color scheme >:( Give Me A Purple Ghost You Dumb Motherfucker >:(

(actually in part I make fun of him because I am otherwise also terrified of him! he is creepy and horrifying! he seems like substantially less of a Person and more like a Horrible Force of Nature than the other calamities!! also HE WAS LIVING IN THEIR HOUSE *screams*)

(you may notice there is approximately no book 2 content on here and that is.... largely bc I found book 2 very upsetting and unpleasant to read, as “overwhelming futility in the face of world affairs and mass suffering” is in fact my Least favourite emotion to have evoked in fiction. or in real life for that matter. “biological phenomenon wherein foreign entities grow in or on your body” is ALSO a least favourite thing in both fiction & real life too, funnily enough! not actually to the same extent as Futility Forever, but. no thank you.)

there’s definitely more I wanted to talk about at one point or another and then forgot, so, if there’s something you want to hear about in particular, ask me questions!

[docmanda]

1, 13 and 29 please?

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Hm, depending on my mood we’re either going down the ANGST! hurt/comfort route or the tooth rotting fluff hurt/comfort route :-) I do like me a good hurt/comfort fic, there’s something reassuring about being taken care of after something bad happened that I gravitate too. I like a lot of cuddling/comforting touches with the occasional smutty thing so yeah, that’s usually what will happen. Add some snark and were good

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I think the [they get there]-trick. As in you do not have to write your fic chronologically (I nearly never do) and you don’t have to have everything worked out there yet. With me there’s usually a few scenes or dialogue parts stuck in my head that I will write first and then connect, the introduction to the fic (as in the first part) is usually what I write last. Sometimes it is just a single sentence or a scene that I can’t get out of my head and work the whole fic around (for example “ Like a smooth river pebble between diamonds, Mu Qing mused, beautiful in it´s own right but unremarkable by comparison.” or “ Ancient power congeals around them like blood, ripping apart everything that stands in their way as they come for their God´s body, unheeding of the chaos and destruction they leave behind in their wake.” Those were both single sentences/scenes that appeared in my head and spawned fully sized, multi-chaptered fics...).

So, just go with the flow without worrying how to combine things yet, you can shuffle and change things as much as you want later just get the inspiration you had onto paper and worry about the details later. Especially since English isn’t my first language and I sometimes can’t find the right words so there might be random German words just hanging out until I have the time to look up the proper English word or any synonyms I might wanna use.

My first drafts are usually a hot MESS with just snippets and scenes everywhere, barely any grammar or proper pronunciations, big holes between scenes and no coherency at all. But for me, simply writing whenever inspiration strikes without caring for anything else works best, thinking too much about details makes the ideas go away sometimes and it is a lot harder for me to get back into writing something.(For example, I am kinda stuck with the new chapter for Running through your veins because I have no idea what I want to do with the end of it and can’t connect the dots that I have written yet..)

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Eh...I honestly have nothing on my mind that would fit this?

[chisie12]

Friends and Butterflies, An After Ending - Part 4

Because I’m dumb and forgot to post (for weeks now oops)

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20490521/chapters/48755888

~~*~~*~~

Day 73: Mission: Surprise Ma! T-minus 6 days.

The next day started off relatively simple for Xie Lian. Hua Cheng must have woken up a lot earlier because he didn’t see him when he did. With a dejected sigh, he got out of bed and helped the boys bathe before going to the kitchen to make breakfast.

But it didn’t seem like it would be as simple as he thought anymore.  

They had laughed and giggled, making jokes as they opened the kitchen door only to see four grown men freezing at the presence. Feng Xin and Mu Qing were powdered white with flour on their faces, said bag having dropped onto the ground and ruthlessly painting the entire place like snow. Shi Qing Xuan on the other hand was trying to fry something by the stove, the fire crackling and licking out from beneath the wok. He Xuan was hidden behind the former god, having been watching the flames warily like an angry cat. Spices and rice were strewn all over the countertops with bundles of vegetables in disarray.  

Xie Lian sighed. “Why... are all of you here? Making a mess in my kitchen?”

He knew they had stayed the night before. But didn’t they intend to leave!?

“We got hungry,” Shi Qing Xuan said. “So, I tried to cook.”  

Xie Lian: “...” Three former gods and one water demon, trying to cook.  

Wait, He Xuan should be able to cook, right?

He Xuan turned to look at Xie Lian with a flat expression. “I only know how to grill fish.” Before Xie Lian could ask him why did he not just do that, he continued, “I couldn’t find any fish to grill.”

Then, go catch some!?  

“Ma,” Huang Shao tugged on his father’s hand. “What do we do?”  

Just as the words left his lips, the flames on the stove roared, growing into a demonic size that everyone in the room began to panic. Xie Lian shoved his boys out of the room while He Xuan bent down to pick Shi Qing Xuan up and set him outside as the remaining adults frantically searched for a bucket to douse the flames.  

When Xie Lian reminded his boys for the umpteenth time to stay there, he quickly rushed back inside and shot out his arm. Ruoye immediately flew towards the bucket that was placed atop the cabinets while he rushed towards the bamboo fountain that was set up right outside the kitchen. Ruoye rushed through the kitchen door with the bucket and he immediately scooped up the water before rushing back in. With a fling of his arms, the water flew and enveloped the raging flames, immediately dousing a large portion of it.  

Shi Qing Xuan hobbled over to the kitchen door, seeing the black marks scorching the kitchen before piping up, “Aren’t you all gods? Why aren’t you using your spiritual skills?”  

“Shut up!!” Both Feng Xin and Mu Qing screamed, feeling flustered at having been reminded of that fact as they threw the scooped water in the wooden bowls they found.  

It wasn’t long after that the flames were fully doused and the three of them walked out with soot on their faces and clothes.  

Wait, three?  

“Why weren’t you helping?” Mu Qing glared at someone behind Shi Qing Xuan.  

The former Wind God curiously turned his head back to stare at Black Water standing shamelessly behind him. “Why are you here?”  

“It got too hot in there.”  

“Felt like grilled fish?” Mu Qing rolled his eyes with his arms crossed. “You should have stayed inside. Then I could have fried you up.”  

He Xuan snarled with a mouth full of pointy teeth from behind Shi Qing Xuan. “Try. I’ll eat you instead.”

“Cats eat fish, moron.”  

“Last I check, you’re a human.”

“I ascended , dumb fish.”

“But gods and humans can eat fish?” Feng Xin added unhelpfully as he coughed from the smoke.

“No one asked you!” Mu Qing and He Xuan seethed simultaneously. They turned to face each other with blank faces before narrowing their eyes, thin mischievous smiles curving sinisterly upon their countenances.  

Somehow, Feng Xin felt a slither of dread settle in him at the sight while Shi Qing Xuan remained confused.  

The former god spoke up, “But Mu Qing, I was on the stove cooking? I think I would have fried He-xiong instead of you.”

He Xuan with a broken heart:  ‘...Shi-xiong, I thought you liked me.’

Emerging from the black smoke was Xie Lian coughing, his hand waving the smoke out of his eyes. The twins standing at the same spot rushed up to him. “Ma! Are you alright?”  

He nodded his head as a couple more coughs escaped. His throat felt dry, scratchy. “I’m fine, A-Qing, A-Shao. But it seems like... we’ll have to eat out again. And have someone fix the kitchen... again.” He then turned to the snarling pair before shaking his head. “We’ll... bring them along as well.”  

Who knew if they’d destroy Paradise Manor even more or not?

Yet, somewhere on the way, Feng Xin and Mu Qing were separated from the group. Thinking nothing of it, the group had a quick breakfast at a restaurant in Ghost City and headed back to Paradise Manor when something small and white zipped past.  

...With Feng Xin running after it.

“Why was Uncle chasing after the cat?” Huang Shao asked his father.  

“I don’t know?” Xie Lian frowned, watching the silhouette rush past and thought to himself, ‘Where’s Mu Qing?’

“Ma, can we keep a cat?” Huang Shao then asked when they continued their way to the manor.  

“Ask Hua Cheng ba ba,” Xie Lian replied after pondering for a while. A pet? Maybe? It does sound like a good idea?  

He turned around to ask He Xuan and Shi Qing Xuan who were quietly walking behind them. “Aren’t you guys going back?”  

Shi Qing Xuan feigned a mock hurt expression as he hobbled closer to He Xuan. “Your highness, do you not like us anymore? Do you wish to chase your good friends away?” He sniffled.  

Xie Lian shook his head with a smile but Huang Shao already spoke before he could. He turned his small body around as he kept a grip on his father’s hand. “You can stay if you want, Feng-ge! Then, ma will have friends to play with!”

“See! Even your son likes me!” Shi Qing Xuan huffed indignantly, leaning his weight onto He Xuan whose arm was wound around his broken one when he got too tired. “What do you want to do? Do you have wine? Let’s drink! The kids can have fruit laced crushed ice!”

At the prospect of dessert, the twins both snapped their heads toward their father, stars sparkling in their eyes while their mouth started watering. Xie Lian intentionally shifted his gaze to avoid their puppy dog eyes when he caught the sounds of miserable sniffling and soft crying.  

The pair behind them snickered when Xie Lian’s shoulders slumped and he looked at his sons with jutted lips in silent protest, but Huang Shao’s mouth parted, the bottom lip trembling and tears swimming in his doe-like eyes.  

“Ahh! No, no,” Xie Lian closed his eyes and looked back to the front, steeling his heart. “You’ve already had some this week! You can’t have another.” Yet, when he saw the dejected expressions of his sons, he felt the resistance breaking and so, he sighed resignedly and grumbled softly. “You can both share a bowl but nothing more than that! And if Hua Cheng ba ba ask you anything about it, you tell him Feng-ge fed you some!”

Shi Qing Xuan released a bellyful of laughter when the sons emerged victorious in the exchange, uncaring if he was made the scapegoat as his heart melted in the process. He stole a glance at the demon beside him, thoughts running through his mind before turning his attention back to the family of three.  

He hadn’t known – but He Xuan had caught his expression, full of longing and wistful hopes.  

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

Heavy footsteps trudged towards the sound of joyful laughter in the garden pagoda. Blood and scratch marks marred his tanned scowling face, his robes torn by the same claws. In his arms nestled a perfectly contented cat, white hair shining in a lovely silver hue as its bushy tail flicked side to side.  

“You’re a fucking menace,” Feng Xin grumbled under his breath with a glare at the cat who – he swore – was grinning mischievously at him.  

The cat simply mewled, his whiskers twitching when he scrunched up his face. He raised a paw and repeatedly swatted Feng Xin at his chest.  

“Stop whacking me, fuck. You already took your revenge,” Feng Xin’s growl lose its bite as a low rumble vibrated against his wide chest, his arms bringing the cat higher to his face. He nuzzled the feline, tender and loving, and murmured softly, “Unless you want more?”

The cat’s dark grey eyes widened. He started struggling in the archer’s arms, flailing limbs wielding their claws outstretched while he tried to attack the man, but the man simply chuckled and held him by the scruff of his neck, raising him to eye level.

“You’re a little kitty cat right now. There’s nothing you can do to me.”  

“Fuck you, who said I can’t?”  

A similar voice, silky smooth and charming entered Feng Xin’s mind through his private communication array while the cat hissed in anger. A sly smile curled itself onto his face and he held the cat up with both hands, nuzzling the cat’s neck once again.  

“I know you can fuck me. I’ll take you up on that offer tonight,” Feng Xin replied.  

A furious yowl echoed, scaring even the birds away, which was followed closely by painful screams. Confused and curious, the group in the pagoda turned their heads to see Feng Xin walking towards them with scratch marks covering his entire face.  

There were clearly more marks than before.  

“Feng Xin? What happened to you?” Xie Lian inquired while he got to his feet.

“Kitty!” Huang Shao called out, pointing the spoon at the animal in Feng Xin’s arm.  

Instinctively, Xie Lian stretched out his arm to stop his excited son from approaching. “Where’d you get that cat from?”

Feng Xin smiled and lifted the grumpy looking feline. “This fella? I found him outside in Ghost City just now.”  

“Where’s Mu Qing?” Xie Lian then asked.  

Feng Xin merely shrugged his shoulders. “He said he had something to do, so he returned.”  

A tug on his sleeves got Xie Lian looking at his son’s pouting expression. “Ma, I can’t play with the kitty?”  

“It’s not that, A-Shao.” Xie Lian crouched down and pointed a finger at a confused Feng Xin. “See all those injuries on Uncle Feng?” At his son’s nod, he continued, “Those are made by the kitty. I just don’t know if the kitty is safe for you to play with because ma doesn’t want you hurt.”  

Hearing his father’s reasoning, Huang Shao took a step back warily with the spoon in his mouth, which made Feng Xin’s smile falter.  

“It’s all your damn fault, you fucking cat,” Feng Xin cursed in his private communication array, certain that the cat was still connected.  

“It’s not my fault. If the plan fails, it’s all on you for pushing me against the wall,” the cat mewled, the sound soft and timbre and tugging at their heartstrings but the voice hissed angrily in Feng Xin’s mind.

Ignoring the voice, Feng Xin crouched down to settle the cat on the pagoda’s floor and patted him. “This cat is well behaved. I just frightened it a little. Here, come and pat it.”  

Huang Shao glanced at Feng Xin’s outstretched hand and then at his father who reluctantly nodded his head; He’d trust Feng Xin for now, but he still held his suspicions. A tap on the boy’s shoulder made him turn around to see his older brother holding out a hand. Huang Shao tacitly put the spoon into his brother’s hand with a grin and turned back to the cat. With slow steps, he inched forward, little by little and a hand raised. Everyone watched with bated breaths as he got within an arm’s reach of the feline, who remained calm and silent.  

Soft fur tickled his fingers, the sensation warm and welcoming. Seeing the cat leaning into his touch, Huang Shao was overjoyed and he got closer while he kept patting the cat.

“Ma! Look!”  

When the cat remained docile under his son’s touch, Xie Lian let out a sigh of relief and left the pair be. He then turned to Huang Qing and asked, “Do you want to play with the cat too?”  

Huang Qing stared at his brother playing the cat and scooped another spoonful of the fruit laced crushed ice. There was a small frown on his face, though his eyes gleamed with restrained eagerness.  

“What’s the cat’s name?” Huang Shao looked at a smiling Feng Xin who was startled by the question.

“Oh? Uh... Hmm,” he gently stroked the cat. “How about we name it Miao Qing?”  

Huang Shao nodded and greeted the cat, “Hi, Miao Qing! My name is A-Shao!”  

Miao Qing had gone frozen stiff at the nickname. He turned a glare onto a lowly chuckling Feng Xin and swatted the man while mewling. “Fuck you!”

“Tonight, Miao Qing . Tonight,” Feng Xin proudly retorted in his private communication array. The emotion bubbled and churned in his stomach, a heat pooling deep in his lower body as memories of last night flashed through his mind. Of hard kisses and muscled body, of tongues battling for dominance and unrestrained emotions, of finally leaning over that perfectly slender body with a trail of wet, hot marks of lust marking the tender skin as he finally penetrated the man’s defences, again and again; their bodies sleek with sweat and spittle from glorious worship, and the sight of the proud man flushed red and in lust turned him harder, made him go faster until the man moaned and moaned, thick with sensual pleasure that pleased the god.  

At a loss on a comeback, Miao Qing could only swat at Feng Xin with a paw before jumping into Huang Shao’s lap, curling until he was nestled comfortably with a purr. While stroking the fur, the boy asked his brother, “Qing-ge, do you not want to pet the kitty?”  

Huang Qing scooped the last spoonful of the crushed ice and walked over to his younger brother, holding the spoon close to his mouth. As Huang Shao obediently ate the last spoon, he replied, “Sure.”  

Xie Lian took the emptied bowl from Huang Qing who stared at Miao Qing, who stared back just as flatly. He reached out a steady hand, Miao Qing reached out a paw across the crook of Huang Shao’s elbow.

Huang Qing stretched out his index finger as the paw neared. Slow, heavy with anticipation.  

And then, they touched.  

A slow grin crept at a snail’s pace to carve onto Huang Qing’s face, Miao Qing’s tail flicked sideways in utter glee, mirth dancing on his furry face.  

It was Huang Shao’s bubble of laughter that broke the silence, lifting the unexpectedly tense atmosphere. He held out a finger as a mirror to his brother’s action and his laughter grew in volumes when Miao Qing established a connection with him too.  

Shi Qing Xuan took a swig of the wine, feeling the alcohol burn the back of his throat and then he watched the brothers smile, practically exploding in joy. He smiled a bitter smile when Huang Qing reprimanded Huang Shao for being a little too rough with Miao Qing when the cat yelped and jumped away from them. A memory, one of old and the distant past, played out in the former Wind God’s mind.  

Phantom images appeared beside the twins, blurry silhouettes of the younger Shi brothers, of when they were still mortal, still healthy – still alive. A cat just like Miao Qing had made its way into the garden, its fur a snowy white and golden orange; a common tabby cat.  

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

“You can’t be so rough with it!” Shi Wu Du chided when the cat slipped away from Shi Qing Xuan’s hands. “Be gentler!”  

“But ge , ” a younger Shi Qing Xuan whined, “Its fur is so soft!”  

Shi Wu Du lightly scowled at his little brother. “Then keep being rough with it! See if it’ll ever come. Hmph .”  

With laughter tinkling like the most pleasant of bells, Shi Qing Xuan acted in acquiescence and scooted closer to his brother, who looked away with the same scowl. “Ge~”  

“Ge~” He called again with the same smile.  

“Ge is the best~”  

His laughter came again when he saw Shi Wu Du’s ears go red. “Ge is really the best!”  

“If you think so, then why won’t you listen to me!” Shi Wu Du scoffed but Shi Qing Xuan tugged innocently at his sleeves, laughing heartily when strong, muscled arms wrapped around his own slender body.  

“Because I know ge loves me the most!”  

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

Shi Qing Xuan shook the memory out of his head, blaming the alcohol for the sudden unappreciated trip down memory lane.  

His brother was no longer alive. He would no longer scold him. Talk to him. Hug him.  

Shi Wu Du was dead.  

He was killed –  

A cold hand covered his own, the fingers, smooth without the bumps and traces of fingerprints, gently pried his fist open before interlacing the fingers. Shi Qing Xuan’s fingernails dug deep into the cold-blooded skin, feeling the anger boil to new heights.  

“I’m sorry.”

The former god looked up to catch Black Water’s forlorn expression, traces of regret in that deep gaze – that deep gaze that reminded him so much of Ming-xiong's –

They were the same person .  

A smile forced itself onto his lips, bitter and taut, but a smile nonetheless. “It’s alright, He-xiong. Just a bad memory.”  

He- xiong . He Xuan. The Devastation-class demon that –  

“Feng-ge! Look! Miao Qing is so nice!”  

Huang Shao’s squeal stole the former god’s attention and a memory sparked in his mind.  

“Keep his highness as busy as you can!”  

Shi Qing Xuan kept his fingers locked with the demon’s when Huang Shao politely asked if he could let the cat sit on his lap, to which he gave a nod of assent. The silver cat looked up at him, the dark grey eyes sharp and again so familiar, and then he looked up to catch his former colleague, General Nan Yang’s gaze focused on the silver feline snug in his lap.

Oh.  

He looked back at the cat and his gaze.  

Oh.  

He knew who it was.  

Did Xie Lian?  

When he looked at the god in question, he chuckled at how dazed Xie Lian was. His face was cradled in his hands whose elbows rested against the table but his eyes, so full of tender affection, love and joy were fixated on his two sons as they cooed and stroked the cat. Even Huang Qing who normally had a flat, serious expression was grinning, looking very much like the child he was.  

“What do you think we should feed Miao Qing?” Shi Qing Xuan asked with a slight decline of his body since he didn’t want to remove his hand from He Xuan’s.  

“Cats eat fish right?”  

The former god stifled a laugh when the demon went still. “Yes, cats do eat fish.”  

“Ma,” both the twins turned to look at Xie Lian, “Do we have fish?”  

Xie Lian shook his head. “We don’t. But we could always get it in the river outside Ghost City.”

“We can catch fish?!” Huang Shao leapt to his feet in excitement. At his father’s confirmation, he cheered.  

Xie Lian smiled at his son’s antics and stood up. “Then let’s go. Do you think we should ask if Hua Cheng ba ba wants to fish with us?”  

Huang Shao tilted his head to the right and blinked, a finger tapping his lips. After a moment of thought, he righted his head and said, “It’s okay! Ba must be busy! We can have dinner with ba later!”  

Xie Lian forced the smile to remain when disappointment washed over his mind. He hadn’t seen Hua Cheng since he woke up and he’d admit, he missed his husband. But, as they were going to eat dinner together, he’d suppose it was fine if they didn’t meet now.  

Could he lament on having such an understanding son though? He wanted to see Hua Cheng, damnit! Wasn’t married life supposed to be easier? Why was it so hard to be separated now? Maybe it was because he didn’t know where the damned demon went.  

He never felt like this when he had been in the Heavenly Court, working day and night for the prayers that came through from Puji Shrine, that it’s alright to not see Hua Cheng for a little bit.  

Boy, was he wrong.

The day had gone by pretty quick. The group frolicked in the river, hands swift in plunging into the water to catch some fish but their scales were slippery, tails strong as the fishes flailed until they somersaulted back into the watery depths. Laughter rang across the place, even Shi Qing Xuan who was sitting by the shade and stroking Miao Qing threw in a joke or two, his face full of smiles. The twins were drenched. From head to toe, with their robes stuck to their bodies, hair pressed flatly against their skull as river water dripped down their tips, and their faces glowing in utter glee under the sunlight, pouncing and splashing more water on each other.  

When dusk settled, Xie Lian had called for his boys who ran towards him with big grins and hands behind their back. Curious, he peered closer after pulling down his white robe he had hung on the branch. “What do you have there?”  

“Tada!”  

“Ahh!”

The twins threw the fish they had caught and hidden behind their back, the blue scales sparkling under the fading light and forcing their father to catch it. Flustered and panicked, Xie Lian fingers squeezed and gripped, but the fish was still as slippery as ever, and as energetic even out of water!  

Just before the fish dropped onto the ground, a pale hand shot out to effortlessly grip the fish, sharp claws mercilessly digging into the sturdy scales, and he threw it into the bucket with the other trapped fishes. When He Xuan walked away, Xie Lian mock scowled at his sons who at least had the gall to look guilty, though it didn’t last long when cheeky grins simultaneously curled upon their lips.

With a dejected sigh, Xie Lian held out his white robe and gestured for them to come over before proceeding to dry their hair. Even if it was summer, they could still catch a cold!  

“Do you feel cold anywhere?” he asked them.  

They both shook their heads.  

“Alright. We’ll go home then! Maybe Hua Cheng ba ba is waiting for us!”  

...  

But of course, he wasn’t.  

Instead, Xie Lian was greeted by a pair of flustered Shi-xiong and Shi-di that were cordoning off the garden in Paradise Manor.  

“What happened?” Xie Lian asked, his two hands each gripped tightly by his sons.  

“It was Crimson Rain’s orders,” Quan Yi Zhen explained. “I’m not sure why either. I just came to visit Shi-xiong when I got pulled in to help.”

Xie Lian stared at the few meters high cloth sewed onto tall stilts covering the garden’s perimeter and mentally sighed, choosing to go against his curiousity before smiling at them. “We caught fish. Have you had dinner yet?”  

Yin Yu and Quan Yi Zhen shook their heads.  

“Maybe we could build a campfire and grill fish?” The younger one of the two suggested.

And it was a suggestion approved by the majority. It was only Xie Lian that felt reluctant.

Just where was Hua Cheng?

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

Day 78: Mission: Surprise Ma! T-minus 1 days.

Xie Lian opened his eyes, expecting to see the smile he longed to see, to feel the familiar body close to his, but there was only the empty sheets and unused pillow greeting him when the morning came.  

His breath hitched in his throat.  

For the past four days, Xie Lian had been going to bed alone and waking up alone, and he soon realised that the feeling sucked. He wanted his husband. He wanted to hug the man and kiss him and love him. But he wasn’t here, wasn’t there, wasn’t near.

And he didn’t want to contact him through his private communication array. He wasn’t clingy.  

Mentally? Yes, he was. Why wouldn’t he?  

Hua Cheng was the best husband he could have ever wished for, the best lover, the best listener –  

‘Damnit. San Lang, where are you?’ Xie Lian thought when a dull ache stubbornly passed through his heart.

He turned around and pressed his face onto the pillow, the cotton muffling his sobs and soaking up the tears that dared pool around his eyes. It hurt not knowing, not understanding. Where was he? Where did he go? Why didn’t he tell me a thing?  

‘I miss you. ’  

Until he thought, their sons must be missing him too.  

Jolting out of bed, he quickly washed up and ran into the boys’ bedroom, only to find it empty with the beds perfectly made. He ran the day’s schedule in his head and looked at the sun, roughly estimating the time. By now, the boys would have actually still been in bed, but... they weren’t.

Confused, Xie Lian ran towards the main hall where his ears caught wind of murmured voices and chuckles. Opening the door, he went still at seeing the entire crowd there with (of course) the exception of his husband. The twins were sitting side by side with a book on the younger boy’s lap. Feng Xin was lying down by the side and absentmindedly stroking Miao Qing’s fur while Shi Qing Xuan was helping the boys read, with He Xuan listening attentively. Yin Yu and Quan Yi Zhen were leaning by the wall and speaking in low mutters, with the younger one occasionally chuckling.

“Good morning, everyone,” Xie Lian greeted and they returned the greeting in waves.

“Ma! Good morning!” Dropping the book, the twins rushed up and gave him their daily hugs and kisses.  

“What were you reading?” Xie Lian asked the boys in his arms.  

“Flowers!” Huang Shao responded.  

Flowers. Hua .  

“That’s nice!” Xie Lian smiled but this time, he felt no warmth seeping through. “Smart boy ah, A-Shao.”

The boy giggled and glowed under the praise. Xie Lian kissed each of his boys on the forehead before regarding the freeloaders that’s been living at his house.  

“What do you want to do today?”  

A few days ago, they had gone fishing and camping. The next day, it was a two-day trip searching for any wild animals beyond Ghost City and then camping outdoors beneath the stars (Xie Lian hoped they wouldn't choose this again. His sons feared nothing but their father and so, his heart ached for the tigers that had dared neared their group. No, it wasn’t his sons beating them to a pulp, though A-Qing would have. It was their five uncles that did so for frightening the baby of the group. Demons. All of them.)

Then, the last two days were fairly simple days of lazing in Paradise Manor with food adventures in Ghost City.  

Today, what (mayhem) will it be?

Feng Xin hefted himself up with Miao Qing steadily standing on his shoulders. “I think I'll go back to the Heavenly Court today though. I've got unanswered prayers and blessings to do.”

Xie Lian nodded. He’s been here for more than half the week already. There must be lots to do. “Say hi to Mu Qing for me then, when you go up. He didn’t eat with us in the end.”

The cat on his shoulder stiffened while the general grinned, lifting a hand to pat the feline, “Sure!”

Feng Xin then promptly left with the cat after the boys stroked it goodbye.

“We’ll stay if that’s okay,” Shi Qing Xuan said. “One more night.”

“Sure, of course,” Xie Lian responded, seeing no issue with it. “What should we do today?”

Quan Yi Zhen bounded up to the boys with a grin, Yin Yu closely behind. Having spent some time with the twins, he found them quite to his liking, unlike the devils his colleagues had become. Obedient and polite, cute and good at swords! “What do you want to do today, A-Qing, A-Shao?”  

Evidently, he landed the first hit on the poor oversized feline when Huang Shao had cried out, just a little before Ruoye slapped it.

“Ying-ge!” Huang Shao’s eyes lit up. “I want to go shopping!”

“Shopping?”  

Every male in the room turned their heads to the boy.

“En! Shopping! I want to buy ma new clothes. Qing-ge and I saved up!”

There was a collective coo around the room, mentally done or not. Xie Lian squeezed his sons tighter, his dejected spirits lifting at the sudden gush of warmth filling his lonely heart.  

Oh, why’d he ever even have a sliver of regret for such lovely sons?  

Even if Hua Cheng wasn’t here, he still had them!

Holding back his tears and the choke in his voice, Xie Lian hugged his sons tightly, burying his head between theirs as they reached their arms up to return the affection. “Let’s go.”  

Shi Qing Xuan couldn’t help but glance at He Xuan from the corner of his eyes. He never thought of having children before, but now.... It was still a long way to go. But his thoughts were interrupted.

“Shi-xiong! Should we have children too!?”

Aghast, Yin Yu turned a falling mouth towards the grinning god before lips twisted into a scowl at the sparkles surrounding said god. The hope was almost blinding him! “And who’s gonna take care of the children with you?”

Quan Yi Zhen looked at him in innocent confusion, the sparks not dimming in the slightest. “Aren’t you?”

A furious blush crawled up Yin Yu’s neck at the exclamation, painting his cheeks a delicious red as he spluttered out, “I’m not even your husband!”  

He watched in discomfit at his junior’s spiral into confusion. “So, you must be my husband if we want to take care of children? I guess that’s true! Cause His Highness is married to Crimson Rain and they have children!”

Yin Yu’s mouth fell open in shock at the next words. ‘You are a baby yourself! Am I supposed to take care of all of you!?’

“Then, marry me, Shi-xiong! I don’t want to take care of children with anyone else!”  

A wailing cry reverberated through the room. Quan Yi Zhen flew across the hall in the blink of an eye from Yin Yu’s punch. The older man scowled at his still naively confused junior and rubbed his reddened cheeks, the embarrassment and shyness painted so clear upon his face, yet the passionate colour only served to highlight his handsome countenance.  

“No one proposes like that!”  

Yin Yu ran out of the hall in such a fluster without a glance back.  

“And I'm not saying yes!”

Quan Yi Zhen groaned and crawled out of the hole he created in the wall while Xie Lian rubbed his temples.  

Why did it seem like Paradise Manor was constantly getting destroyed? Should he place some protective talismans around the house?

Huang Shao crawled out of his father’s protective embrace when the strike happened and walked towards the fallen general. “Ying-ge, are you okay?”

“A-Shao!” Quan Yi Zhen exclaimed, looking as though nothing had happened. “Ying-ge’s okay. I'm strong!”

Huang Shao giggled. “En! Ying-ge’s strong.”

Quan Yi Zhen bent down and picked up the boy to set him on his hip. “Let’s go shopping!”

“But what about Yu-ge?” Huang Shao asked, wiping off the dust of crushed bricks and sticky rice mortar from the man's cheeks. “Ying-ge should go and find him! He’s angry. A-Shao thinks its sad if Yu-ge is alone like that.”

“Oh.”

He Xuan came over with Shi Qing Xuan to stand next to Xie Lian. Huang Qing immediately slipped a hand into his father’s hand.

“You should go, Qi Ying,” Shi Qing Xuan said, a tinge of regret laced beneath this words. “Don’t leave him alone after that .”

“Oh,” Quan Yi Zhen said again as he held Huang Shao out towards He Xuan who readily took the boy into his arms. Whether he truly understood their meaning was still unclear but a sense of loneliness swirled in his nerves when he properly looked at the group.  

‘Shi-xiong...’  

He looked back at the last direction Yin Yu left in and bit his bottom lip.

“Then I'll be off first!”  

Huang Shao waved goodbye at Quan Yi Zhen’s quickly decreasing figure. “Let’s go shopping!”

“Where do you want to shop?” Xie Lian asked.  

“Is there a city where we can buy nice clothes?” This time it was Huang Qing who spoke.  

Shi Qing Xuan hummed, tapping the fan to his lips. “I know a place! Let’s go there!”

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

“Waa! Everything is so nice!”

“Qing-ge! Look at the bunny!”

“Oh, oh! The fox! Doesn’t it look like ba?”

Huang Shao abruptly halted in his steps, coming short just before a little girl, small and petite with porcelain skin and big bright eyes. She stared at Huang Shao, pink tainting her cheeks and took a flower from the basket she was carrying.

Huang Shao looked at the flower. “Is this for me, mei mei?”

She shyly nodded her head and Huang Shao gently took it into his hand. He then noticed the price that had been tagged on the flower and he quickly dug around for his money pouch.

“I can’t let you give it for free! Here you go, mei mei! Thank you for the flower! It’s pretty!”

His fingertips brushed against hers as he dropped a silver into her hand, the fleeting touch causing her cheeks to flare.  

“It’s too much, ge ge!”

“It’s alright! Keep it!”  

Huang Shao ran back to his father who was watching at the side with the others, the pink peony in hand. He gestured for his father to bend down and when Xie Lian’s face was within reach, he tucked the peony behind his father’s ear.  

With a giggle, he planted a wet kiss on Xie Lian’s cheek. “Pretty!”  

“Thank you, A-Shao.”

“A-Shao, I think that girl just fell in love with you,” Shi Qing Xuan pondered out loud.

Huang Shao scrunched up his face. “Nah, I don’t love her,” he said with finality before turning back to a chuckling Xie Lian, “Ma, did you know, this flower’s name means ‘most beautiful’?”

“I didn’t know that,” Xie Lian grinned, the tender pink bloom accentuating his beauty.

“En, just like how ma is the most beautiful,” Huang Qing nodded solemnly.

Xie Lian’s grin could only grow wider as the group continued their way down the street full of shops bustling with customers. The happiness made him feel giddy, loosening his muscles and relaxing his mind. He paid half attention on the clothes the boys wanted him to try, soaking in the joy and love they readily gave. Thinking back to the first time he met the younger twin, he wasn't as cheerful as he was now, but the biggest change was still Huang Qing. Looking down at the boy sticking close to him, Xie Lian’s gaze softened.  

He vowed to himself silently there and then, he’d protect his family with everything he could.  

“How about this?” Shi Qing Xuan pulled out a robe while He Xuan steadied him. It was of a simple pale blue tone with long sleeves.  

Immediately, the twins rejected it.  

“Too simple.”

“Then this?”

“Too dark.”

“This?”

“That red suits ba more.”

“What exactly are you looking for?” Shi Qing Xuan lightly groaned at having all his suggestions rejected. He pouted and playfully hit He Xuan on the arm with his fan for chuckling at his expense.  

“Something...”  

“That makes ma look really handsome and cool!” Huang Qing finished his brother's sentence when he trailed off.  

“What is this for anyway?” Xie Lian couldn’t help but ask. “I don’t need something so extravagant.”

“Nooo! You do,” Huang Shao stubbornly argued and huffed, “We want to buy one for you!”

“Alright, alright. We’ll find one. But it cannot be expensive!”

They continued to look through the shops but none satisfied the boys. It wasn’t until they entered a shop that was fairly secluded and empty that Huang Qing and Huang Shao spotted a robe they liked. The shop was quiet, filled with traditional paintings and accessories, and elegant robes on display.  

“Try this one, ma!”  

Xie Lian took the robes into his arms, the smooth silk a familiar touch of a life in the past. The details of the embroidery intricate and fine. He ducked under the curtains and carefully placed it on the rack before stripping himself of the plain robes.  

He laid his robes next to the store’s, his reflection in the mirror capturing his attention. A fair body, sculpted and defined with the contours of muscles stared back at him. Shoulders slightly broad with a slender neck that carried a face who held a small smile. Long fingers traced the dips in his collarbone, the warmth of his fingertips a reminiscence of an icier touch. They trailed down his chest, bumping along the hard abs that further trailed down his pants; a look of longing shining in his gaze. He imagined the pair of beautiful lips planting themselves upon his skin, sucking and biting, leaving marks of his love like flowers blooming on a painting. His fingers intentionally skipped over the growing bulge, sliding back up to his neck, the caresses teasing with the back of his fingers. His lips parted, a gloss glazing over his eyes as the lusty flush  looked brighter with the peony as a backdrop. His fingertips lightly dipped into his mouth.  

“Ge ge .”

A deep sultry voice. He shivered.  

His tongue licked at the fingertips, the sensation racking against his body. His fingers. His touch. Hot. Deep. In me –  

“Dear customer, do you need help?” A low gruff voice called out.

Jolting from the shock. Xie Lian’s eyes widened and he hurriedly called out while wiping his fingers on his robes. He quickly stripped out of his pants, his cheeks flushed utterly red in embarrassment. “No, no! I'm okay. Sorry I'm taking a while!”

“It’s alright. Please let me know if you require any assistance.”

Xie Lian quickly donned the extravagant silk robes and pushed the curtains aside in a rush after patting his cheeks. Please, go away blush! “H-How do I look?”

Shi Qing Xuan and He Xuan shifted their attention and went still at the sight while the twins gasped in admiration. The silk robe was as clean as the freshest snow, clouds of a pale platinum silver rolled in waves at the collars and trimmings where a similar coloured dragon majestically curled up and around the sash as a display of its might. The sleeves weren’t long and were instead cuffed shirt sleeves that fitted perfectly around his wrists.  

Even though it was still a white robe, it gave off a strong, dignified aura when placed on Xie Lian’s shoulders, showing off every bit of the swordsman that he was, while the peony reminded them of exactly which god stood before them.  

“Let’s get this one, ma!!” Huang Shao exclaimed and Huang Qing reinforced the idea with fervent noddings of his head.  

Xie Lian checked the price tag and his face fell. “No, no! It’s okay. It’s a little too expensive!”  

Disagreements arose between the family members and the demon-god pair could only stand to the side. Shi Qing Xuan sighed wistfully. If only he was still as rich as he was before, he could splurge and buy... him exquisite robes too.  

“Are you paying for this, young masters?” the shopkeeper asked. He was an old man, possibly an octogenarian from the deep wrinkles and age spots dotting his sagging cheeks, but his gaze was deep, profound and bright.  

“Yes!” Huang Shao cut in before his father could. “Qing-ge and A-Shao wants to buy this for ma with the money we saved.”

“A-Shao, stop being disobedient. It’s too expensive for you,” Xie Lian chided before turning towards the shopkeeper embarrassedly, “I'm really sorry. We won’t be getting it. So sorry for the trouble!”

“No, ma!” Huang Shao huffed and stood rooted to his spot. “Qing-ge and I will get this for you!”

Xie Lian groaned and rubbed his temples. He opened an eye to look at his oldest son who stared back with a solemn expression. Huang Qing took a step back to stand with his brother. A silent declaration, a silent opposition.  

“How about this then, young masters?” The shopkeeper said. “Can you write?”  

The twins nodded at the same time.  

“I have a fan here with a painting a dear friend of mine did, but I couldn’t find the right words to inscribe upon it. If I like what you wrote, I'll give you a 90% discount. Do you want to give it a try?”

The brothers shared a look with each other and turned back with resolute nods. The old man went back to grab the fan.

Hearing the situation, Shi Qing Xuan limped forward with an excited grin. “Can I help? I do love fans!”

“Yes, please, Feng-ge!”

Xie Lian sighed yet again and went forward to help since he’s had training before but the old man returned and barred his way. “You can’t help them. If you do, the price doubles.”

Xie Lian could only gulp the lump in his throat.  

Huang Qing and Huang Shao looked at the open fan traditionally painted in ink. A tall temple stood in the centre, which trailed down to a land of beautiful peonies covering the ground. A lone bird, looking small and far, stood before the temple, staring at the bird that flew above the flowers.

“Here, is the best spot for you to inscribe something,” Shi Wing Xuan pointed at the empty spot between the flowers and temple eaves near the top right corner. “What will you write?”

The twins sunk into silence, their eyes drinking in the painting. The old man patiently waited to the side, the ink and brush already ready.  

“Do you have some scrap paper for us to practice?” Huang Qing politely asked, “May we have some, please?”

The old man nodded and returned with a few pieces of scrap paper to which the boys immediately got to work. Every stroke, every essence of determination, they never wavered.  

Two sticks of an incense passed before the twins stood up, each having written a line on the fan. Xie Lian watched at the side, now dressed in his own robes as the old man gingerly picked up the fan and read the inscription, a smile stealing his cracked lips.  

“It’s simple but I hope you like it,” Huang Qing said.  

The old man replied, “It’s perfect.”  

He laid the fan down gently for it to dry and accepted the money from the boys, praising them to the Heavens for being so good.  

With the new robes folded and wrapped neatly, Xie Lian asked, “What did you write?”

“It’s a secret,” the twins giggled.  

When Xie Lian looked at his friends, they simply turned away and feigned ignorance, though a smile played off their lips as well.  

Seeing as he was going to lose this round, Xie Lian let it go and patted his sons’ head. “Thank you. I love it. Now, let’s have dinner and go home.”

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

Day 79: Mission: Surprise Ma! T-minus 0 days. It’s today!  

The next day, Xie Lian was surprised awake by the small bundle that crawled into his bed.

“A-Shao? What’s wrong?” he asked, ignoring the small twang of disappointment in his heart.  

“Can I stay with ma today? I don’t feel so good.”

Immediately, Xie Lian shot up from the bed to loom over his son, placing a hand over his head. “Where do you feel unwell?”

Huang Shao looked pitifully at his father and slightly uncurled his body. He patted the space above his heart and whined, “My heart hurts. I need more loooove.”

Xie Lian deadpanned at his son’s antics and flopped back onto the bed with a smile. Pulling Huang Shao close, he affectionately patted his head. “Where’s A-Qing?”

“Qing-ge’s busy,” Huang Shao whined, dragging the word out. “A-Shao just wants to sleep.”  

“Mm, then A-Shao sleep. Ma won’t go anywhere.”

A lonely heart felt heavy after all.  

By the time Xie Lian woke up, it was already very late in the day, which surprised him greatly. He rarely ever slept till the late afternoon. Huang Shao wasn’t in his arms either.  

“Ma, ma! Are you awake?”

“A-Shao?” Xie Lian rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  

“En! Hurry up and wake up. You haven’t eaten anything.”

Xie Lian swung his legs off the bed and started washing up. As he dried off, Huang Shao came rushing in and gave him the new robes to wear with a grin.  

“Hurry, hurry. A-Shao’s hungry!”

Without second thoughts, Xie Lian quickly dressed up in the new robes, his mind filled with his son being hungry.  

However, once he stepped out of his room, he was dragged towards the garden. The cloth was taken down, its beauty finally unravelled for all to see.  

Unlike the plain grounds it had before, orange daylilies were in full bloom by the entrance, the flowers proud and inviting on tall scapes. There were no other plants in sight, resulting in a blanket of soft topaz waving above the sea of green.  

“Ma,” Huang Shao spoke as he pointed at the daylilies. “Did you know, this flower means a mother’s devotion? It is basically a flower that symbolises someone as a mother!”  

Xie Lian hummed in acknowledgement, caressing a petal, soft and powdery. They walked further down the newly paved stone path, leaving the orange jewels behind and entering a scene of tenderness. White and pink blooms of tree peonies covered the path on both sides, soaking in the summer sun. The tallest stalks were nearly two meters tall, posing charmingly by the wall. There was a bamboo fountain on the opposite side, surrounded by a small rock garden, the rhythmic tapping a serene music in their ears.  

“And peonies! A-Shao told you before. Their name literally means ‘most beautiful’ but they are also a symbol of good fortune and peace, especially when displayed in full bloom!”

“A-Shao learned a lot,” Xie Lian praised.  

He giggled in response. “Ba gave me the book to study.”

“Such a smart boy!” Xie Lian again tried to ignore the pang of loneliness in his heart.  

Shadows casted over their figures as magnolia trees sheltered them from the sweltering heat, the buds of also white and pink fully open. Its fragrance of sweet candy mixed with a slight tinge of citrus-honey filled the skies, freshening the air that they breathed.

“These are magnolia trees!” Huang Shao buzzed in excitement. “The flowers are also called ‘Jade orchid flower’.”

“What do they symbolise?”

“A-Shao thinks it symbolised the beauty of a woman, but I know it definitely symbolises gentleness! Just like ma!”  

Huang Shao tugged his father down to give him a big kiss on the cheek. “Ma is the gentlest person A-Shao knows!”  

More and more love kept filling Xie Lian’s heart. He gripped his son’s hand tighter as they walked further down the path, enjoying the cool shade provided by the trees. The scent slowly faded into something bitter and sweet while they neared the garden pagoda. A tug on his hand caught his attention, and his gaze followed the finger pointing up.

“And cherry trees! A-Shao learned that they are usually about the beauty of youth.”

“That’s right,” Xie Lian nodded. “It’s a beauty to love and appreciate, because we’ll all grow old one day.”  

“Is A-Shao going to grow old too?”

With a soft smile, Xie Lian pinched his son’s cheek. “Yes, you will. A-Shao isn’t a god or a ghost after all.” Seeing him open his mouth, he hurriedly added, “Don’t you dare say you'll become a ghost too!”

“But can’t I be a Heavenly Official like ma?” Huang Shao pouted.

Xie Lian heaved a sigh of relief. “Yes, you can. But it’s a lot more fun to pick up scraps than work as a Heavenly Official.”

“It’s okay! I want to live forever with everyone!”

“Haha, I'm sure you'll do it!”

By now, the sun was already setting, his stomach rumbling angrily at having not been fed. The path opened up towards the pagoda, and Xie Lian sharply inhaled at the sight.  

Standing atop the arched bridge was a tall man whose inky hair cascaded freely down his back, waving softly with the warm breeze. Lotus flowers of pure snow bloomed above the water, like sparkling diamonds in the dusk. Cherry trees of only a light pink lined the perimeter behind the pagoda, the backdrop serving to only enhance the lone man’s beauty. Donning crimson red robes exquisitely adorned with golden embroidery, he looked like a man of noble born.  

Xie Lian’s memories rushed into his mind, the love and longing overflowing in his eyes. A soft voice, trembling and thick with emotions escaped his lips, and the man turned around. A single red bead at the end of a braid caught his eye.

There was a loving smile gracing those addictive lips. A black eyepatch covered his right eye, just like how he always remembered it. Silver vambraces adorned his arms, the metal glittering under the setting sun. His lips parted, slow and tender, but the smile only grew wider.

“I'm home.”

The small hand slipped out of his grasp and there was a soft push on his back, like an ignition that sent him rushing forward. Everything fell away around him, the flowery scenery a blur and the sweet scent hazy.  

“San Lang –!”

A force tackled into the taller man who easily steadied his footing, wrapping his arms around his sobbing man.  

“Where did you go? I missed you so much! I wanted to wake up next to you, eat breakfast with you, but you weren’t there. Why’d you leave us alone?” Xie Lian cried into his embrace, his voice muffled by the clothes.  

The slight rumble of Hua Cheng’s broad chest told him that his husband was chuckling, and with the lack of reply, it only incensed him further. Before he could bite at him with his words, two hands tugged at his robes.  

“Happy birthday, ma. Please don’t be angry at ba.”

“!?”

Hua Cheng chuckled at his frozen husband, as though his mind had chosen instead to shut down. Declining his head, he placed a long kiss on his forehead.  

"I'm sorry I didn't inform you of anything. I got too caught up with the surprise."

Xie Lian frowned and stared hard at his husband who flinched under his gaze. "It's fine. But next time tell me if you'll be gone for a while, okay? It wasn't nice not knowing where my husband would be."

Hua Cheng repeatedly nodded seriously in acquiescence. "Yes, I will!"

And the demon then leaned down to softly kiss his lips, murmuring, “Happy birthday, ge ge.”  

Xie Lian blinked in confusion before his face scrunched up while he calculated. After a while, he gasped and lightly planted a fist into his palm. “Oh, yes. It is!”

Huang Shao giggled while Huang Qing shook his head helplessly.  

“Ma, this is for you.”

Huang Qing held out the bamboo basket in his hands and Xie Lian opened it, his senses immediately filled with the delicate scent of food. There was bread and assorted meat, with fluffy white rice and vegetables inside!

“You made all these!?”  

His oldest son scoffed and looked away in embarrassment, “Yes, I did. Do you not believe me?”

“Even the bread?”  

“Yes? It took me the entire morning!” Huang Qing glowered, feeling dejected and fear that Xie Lian might not like it.  

“Definitely not! My sons are the best in the world!” Xie Lian exclaimed as he tackled his scowling son into a hug, the basket tacitly held by Huang Shao.  

Huang Qing grumbled and struggled out of his father’s grip, only to relent and slowly return the hug. Happiness evidently bubbled inside him.

“We planned this surprise for you!” Huang Shao exclaimed while crouching beside them. “Ba planted all these flowers for you! Then, A-Shao was in charge as the guide!”  

“And A-Qing was in charge of the food,” Huang Qing softly muttered.

“And I'll have to say,” Hua Cheng added, “Your friends are certainly good at keeping you occupied.”

Then, it finally clicked.  

“They helped!?”

Hua Cheng nodded, helping his husband and son up from the pagoda’s floor. “I requested for their help.”  

“In return of...?”

“A favour. Any favours that I can fulfil. They readily agreed.”

For the second time, Xie Lian’s brain registered another fact. “You planted all these!?”  

Hua Cheng laughed and nodded. “Is it so hard to believe?”

Xie Lian pondered for a second then shook his head. “No, not really. San Lang’s incredible. You can do anything.”

“I'm honoured you think so.”

Hua Cheng leaned in to kiss his lips, a quick taste of affection as he wished again, “Happy birthday, ge ge.”

Xie Lian grinned at the touch he longed for before looking down at the box placed in his hand. Opening it, he removed the paper folding fan and unravelled it. Upon it was an ink drawing of peonies and a temple, with neat calligraphy inscribed upon it.  

“This...”

Curious, the twins peered over his shoulder and gasped in surprised.  

“Isn’t this what we inscribed yesterday?”

“Surprise! It’s perfect, by the way. You two did a good job,” Hua Cheng praised. The twins were in awe of their father from also being surprised. They thought they had all the inside info!

“But that old man?” Xie Lian inquired.

“Was an old friend of mine.”  

Xie Lian traced the fan gently, feeling so loved. “Thank you,” he breathed out. “I love it. Everything.”

“It’s not over yet,” Hua Cheng winked and the boys took that as a cue to quickly set up the food by the jade table in the pagoda.  

When they were done and Xie Lian was seated on a chair, the silver vambraces lit up as thousands of wraith butterflies emerged, flying out towards the garden like starlight on Earth.  

Hua Cheng walked towards his husband whose eyes were wide in wonder at the sight. All the flowers he had painstakingly found and replanted glowed beautifully under the sparkles, though some had begun to wilt for they only lived for a day. However, the vase of daylilies on the table had only begun to bloom at the first silver light, a species he found to only bloom at night before wilting in the day.  

He bent down to kiss Xie Lian’s forehead once more as each twin kissed either side of his cheek, murmuring tender wishes against his glowing skin.

When Hua Cheng pulled away, he told him: “Before the stars of the night arrive, these will be your Heavenly Blessings on Earth.”

━━━━━━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━━━━━━

Life had truly changed for Xie Lian. For one, he now had a family blessed with two smart and loving sons, and a husband he’d sacrifice anything for. Their family was, intentionally or unintentionally, extended to the uncles – chaotic or not, intended or not.  

But never again would Xie Lian feel lonely.  

...

In the bedroom shared by the married couple stood a folding fan nestled in a stand, its art free for any to appreciate. Moans echoed in the dark, lewd sounds resonating shamelessly loud as it’s been a week since.

Upon the fan, it was inscribed only ten characters, simple and short, but it spoke volumes of their love.

[ When you catch someone’s heart, you will never be apart. ]

愿得一心人，白首不相离 。

[orangememory]

Mu Nihuang and Xia Dong being army buddies!

This kind of turned into a Xia Dong POV thing, with tons of feels and angst. The angst is never far from me, sorry! :P 

For the first time in many years, Xia Dong uses aword that is in rusting in her vocabulary – ‘impressive’. Xia Dong’s toleranceof mediocrity is low, and today she has seen one of the most shockingly brave,most insane acts in her life – a seventeen-year old Mu Nihuang leading an armyto victory.

There is a sense of pride, and yet there ismelancholy in Xia Dong’s heart – she remembers that little Nihuang’s laughter, tinklinglike the sound of clear water skipping over stones in a stream. Five years ago,Xia Dong had taught Nihuang how to notch her arrows, how to steady her sword,and this time, Nihuang was leading her first army, face ashen, armour over mourningrobes, resolve icy and impeccable in the face of insurmountable odds. Xia Dongalmost wished she didn’t have to know this sad young woman, forced to bear burdensthat would topple Emperors.

Xia Dong has never known her parents, she hasbegged outside temples before Mistress found her and took her to Master – and yetshe has never felt the acute sense of loss that she feels for this child. Theloss of Nihuang’s innocence, the loss of that child’s heart. Nihuang’s army wasbeing pushed back when Xia Dong had arrived with her troops, but she could onlysee Nihuang charge on, ready to fight to the death, boosting the morale of themen behind her. Her tenacity, the bloodlust in her eyes was remarkable, andonly reminded Xia Dong of the people she and Nihuang had lost - Lin Shu’s eyeswere made of the same fire once.

Silently, Xia Dong had sworn to protect Nihuang inthat moment, let her never become another Xiao Shu, whose fire was buried bythe cold plots of his father. She had given her battle-cry, and charged down, andvisible relief, and happiness and warmth had come upon Nihuang’s face. It hadmade Xia Dong’s heart flutter then, it still warmed her heart now.

Now it is midnight, and Xia Dong wants to findNihuang, hold her close and tell her it will be okay, that she will overcomeLord Mu’s death, that what she has shown today can quell the Emperor’s fearsand let her protect Mu Qing. But as she nears Nihuang’s tent, she senses how antsyNihuang’s trusted guards and retainers are, Old Wei is practically ready tothrottle her from the looks of it.

Xia Dong has mastered her own martial arts, and cansense Nihuang isn’t there. She smiles, nods at Old Wei and runs off into thewind, ears alert for the sound of tinkling bells. The wind rises, and the faintsound rings – and Xia Dong glides across the tree tops till she arrives at acave a little deep into the forest near their encampment. Her cat-like tread isundetectable, as she finds Nihuang inside the cave, crying her heart out, sobbinglike the little girl who had almost drowned once due to one of Lin Shu’stricks.

In front of her were small memorial tablets, thelong-passed Lady Mu, the one with the freshest ink for Lord Mu and….and tabletsfor the Lin family and Xiao Jingyu. Xia Dong’s anger flared, coursed through herquick and hot and all she could think was – How dare you?

 Xia Dong wanted to rush in, to scold and censureNihuang for her impropriety, and for being unfilial to the Emperor who calledher his own, threaten to drag her to Jinling in chains like her Master wouldwant her to do, but something stops her.

It’s those heartbreaking cries.

“If you’re looking at me from heaven, Mother, Uncleand Auntie Lin, Shu-gege, help me, please. The Emperor took father away too.Help me live on for Mu Qing. I have to survive for him, I can’t see him starveto death like the little princesses. Help me bury my anger, my hate. Help mesmile, please.”

The words weigh down like a ton of bricks on XiaDong. Mu Qing is just seven, and Xiao Jingyu had two young daughters, both sentto work as slaves, beaten and starved to death in the Palace without any shredof remorse from the Emperor. Xia Dong had personally investigated and found manyevidences of treason – yet even she had found it reprehensible what had happenedto the children.

Nihuang was not impressive, she was a torn, bloodymess, barely holding it together for her little brother under the scrutiny ofthe Emperor. Her tinkling laugh were now battle-cries and muffled sobs, and XiaDong did not even have the right to comfort this little girl.

Against all her righteous will, Xia Dong buriesthis in her mind, and quietly flies away, perching atop a tree and waiting inthe shadows till Nihuang comes back, still shaking, and invites her generalsfor a meeting. She doesn’t sleep till dawn. And Xia Dong just watches her.

In the morning, Xia Dong visits her in the tent,where Nihuang is getting dressed by herself, solemn and proud as her silverarmour glints in the frosty sunlight. Xia Dong’s heart gives a leap again,seeing how broken children grow up this quick.

“Nihuang,” Xia Dong addresses using her first namein ages, “I just wanted to say how proud I am of you.” She pats the little girlshe once knew on the back affectionately, like an elder would. Nihuang has noone by her side, so Xia Dong will be there, when she can.

And Xia Dong will keep all her secrets, until theday Nihuang breaks the code of vassal-liege and goes against the Emperor. XiaDong hopes such a day will never come.

Nihuang breaks into a wan smile at those words,nodding at Xia Dong. It feels like the sun has peeked through the clouds aftera day of dismal rain.

Xia Dong smiles back. They will be okay – at least that’s what she hopes.

[veliseraptor]

If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

so this got. long. to nobody’s surprise probably. 

Scum Villain Self-Saving System

I feel like this is the novel where I have the fewest characters I really have strong feelings about? Which is not to say that I don’t love the characters! I just haven’t latched onto as many of them in the same way that I have with the other two. So there’s really only two that I wanted to list here.

1. Shen Jiu. Like, okay, this is one of those “didn’t see this coming but hoo boy should I have seen this coming” things where I’m like. Oh, did you say “emotionally dysfunctional misanthropic character shaped by abuse, incapable of communication, full of self-loathing, unlikeable and ultimately destroyed by his own actions? well will you look at that I have adopted a new character.”

Didn’t see it coming but ultimately very predictable! thanks, extras, for doing this to me and making me constantly in my feelings being sad about Shen Jiu kind of never having had a chance. Like, he did, but also he didn’t.

And I just have a big Thing for characters who kind of ruin their own lives.

2. Luo Binghe. He is a Mess and a bundle of issues and I love him. I mean - abandonment issues! deep insecurity! temperamental and emotionally unstable! a love interest...okay not quite made for me but still definitely a delight because he’s such a disaster. And I am here for both canon Binghe who is less...awful, and PIDW!Binghe who is patently awful and you can still see...how he got there, and the disaster living underneath. I just really love a hot mess.

Also all credit to Liu Mingyan for living her erotica writing dream, though.

Heaven Official’s Blessing

1. Hua Cheng. The smooth, suave ghost king who is constantly screaming on the inside and has a concerningly low level of self-worth independent of what he can be to the object of his devotion? Sign me up. I love Hua Cheng because he’s like. Ruthless, competent, powerful, and also in certain very specific places deeply insecure and certain of his worthlessness and monstrosity. He’s got such a delightful flair for the dramatic, and he’s honestly hilarious, and at the same time a deeply traumatized wreck badly in need of self-actualization. Love him, want good things for him.

2. Xie Lian. It’s funny because Xie Lian is one of those characters who feels...against type, for me? In some ways? But I love him so much. He’s just...augh. His profound kindness, his deep guilt and self-hatred/doubt, the downward spiral of his history and then how he manages to come back from the edge, but just barely. He’s in some ways painfully self-aware but also in this very skewed way where he doesn’t - can’t - see himself clearly. He’s just...augh. He’s a sweetheart but in this very deliberate, thoughtful way where it’s a choice he’s made after being ground down and losing everything. Flower in one hand and sword in the other, balanced in between. A treasure.

3. He Xuan. You give me a ghost driven by single-minded determination and an elaborate revenge plot that takes centuries to set up, getting attached to one of the objects of that revenge that he’s determined to take down, and going through with the incredibly precise and cruel revenge plot anyway? Oh, yeah. What do you expect from me? Even if the skeleton fish and everything weren’t so Aesthetic I would love He Xuan, but the messiness of their relationship to Shi Qingxuan is really what sells me.

4. Shi Qingxuan. Again kind of a “against type” pick for me! But...augh. I love them. I love them and their ebullience that feels like a very thin mask over a lot of insecurity and a desperate need to be liked and a holdover from the childhood spent living in fear. I love them for how quickly and eagerly they adopt Xie Lian as a friend, and how they continue to defend him from basically day one forward. They’re good.

5. Mu Qing. What a mess!!! Love him. Mu Qing Has Rights and every reread I’ve done just underlines my feelings about this more. He’s so prickly, and so conscious of his status (or lack thereof); so determined to have independence, abrasive and temperamental and bad at expressing himself in ways intelligible to others. And he does the Thing that I love where when people think badly of him he’s like “OH SURE, WELL, I’LL LET YOU DO THAT AND NOT BOTHER TO CORRECT YOUR ASSUMPTIONS.” I don’t know why I like that, except that it’s the ‘oh you’re just going to tank your own life for the sake of your pride aren’t you’ thing. Anyway this isn’t making a lot of sense but. Mu Qing, y’all. He’s good and I want good things for him post-canon.

(with bonus mentions for: Feng Xin, Ling Wen, Banyue, Yin Yu, and Quan Yizhen, the last of whom I developed a sort of late-blooming dumb affection for.)

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

I feel like I have a much stronger feelings about the CQL versions of the characters - have still only read the novel itself once, so these are mostly CQL verse versions by virtue of that...being the lion’s share of my experience. Always just feel like I need to establish that.

In pretty much the converse of what I said about SVSSS, this is the canon where I have, like. Deep fondness for almost every character. So I went ahead and added some of the extra spots I had leftover from the Scum Villain not top five and put them here instead. I can do that if I want.

1. Xue Yang. I mean, anyone who has followed me recently for any amount of time may have noticed this. I walked into this fandom and took one look at this gremlin and went “oh, that one is mine now” and haven’t really looked back other than brief fits of guilt that change absolutely nothing about my feelings. I Just Love Him, Xue Yang Has Some Murder Rights Actually. I just...love a disaster of this magnitude who ruins his own life because he doesn’t know how to not do that. That’s the good shit, you guys.

2. Jiang Cheng. Boy do I gravitate toward insecure younger siblings with abandonment issues who don’t know how to communicate their feelings, don’t I. There’s so much crunch in Jiang Cheng’s character, so much messiness and confusion and difficulty. He doesn’t make anything easy, for himself or others. I just love how...he loves so much and so hard and yet he has all this dysfunction that makes it so impossible for him to express that, most of the time. I mean, I have written multiple several-thousand-word odes to my Jiang Cheng feelings, I don’t know how to really talk about them here except how much I think about the fact that I do not think Jin Ling has never doubted that Jiang Cheng cares about and loves him and how much that’s what Jiang Cheng would’ve liked to have in his life - that certainty of being loved.

3. Wei Wuxian. I feel like I don’t talk about Wei Wuxian enough and I think that is mostly because I feel like everyone else has already said what I would say and said it better, but like. What a character! What a character written to tap into so many of my very favorite archetypes of like. Trauma! The intersection of selflessness and selfishness! Deep loyalty to those he cares about and a willingness to destroy people who get in his way! Determination and ingenuity! And like. The fact that he dies dramatically and tragically and then gets to come back and have his...not even redemption arc but something like that, sort of? v v v good. I get to have my cake and eat it too.

4. Xiao Xingchen. Like, okay, yes, I recognize we don’t get a whole lot of him in canon so I am building a lot of headcanon edifice on a very small foundation but so sue me. I mean - someone described Xie Lian in my inbox a while back as “Xiao Xingchen if Xiao Xingchen were the protagonist” and honestly in some ways I can see it? His determined kindness, his desire to do good in the face of being repeatedly punched in the face by the fact that his world is not kind, the way that he is weird in his own society, the absolute tragedy of his life’s arc. Xiao Xingchen deserves the world. But also I love thinking about his...imperfections, and the ways in which the idealization of him by the world around him is incredibly isolating and lonely, and I will always be in my feelings about characters with a public image and the isolation that can create - when you are less a person than a symbol.

5. Lan Xichen. Again one of those characters where I didn’t see it coming and he kind of snuck up on me but now I’m like. Oh Lan Xichen I want you to have nice things only! Someone give him a break from trying to shoulder sole responsibility for everything and the burden of being the only person who is willing to give people a shred of the benefit of the doubt! Like, fuck but he’s carrying so much, and trying so hard to bear it well and gracefully, and someone needs to wrap him in a shock blanket or something and give him a minute to breathe. And also remind him that it is okay to have boundaries.

6. Jin Guangyao. Are we surprised? I hope we’re not surprised. I feel like I should just link to this post since this thing has already gotten ridic long and I don’t need it to get...even longer.

7. Jin Ling. I really didn’t see this one coming but here I am in loving Jin Ling hours all the time. He’s just...I feel like I keep saying this, but he’s such a mess but he has a good heart and he’s trying and he’s just so...determined! He has so much to live up to and a big chip on his shoulder but he is a sweetheart deep down, he’s a brat for sure but he’s also such a kid who wants to think he’s not a kid but boy, is he. I love him very very much and I think he’s going to be all right, more or less, eventually.

but like. this is a thing where I’m very fuck I love everyone in this bar about it!!! as you can see picking top five was not even a thing I could do except that Jiang Cheng and Xue Yang are pretty solidly my two Babies with Wei Wuxian only a hair behind by virtue of me feeling like he doesn’t need my support as much.