#ms word too you can participate in the helping

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝟑𝐊 𝐕-𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

welcome to the table of contents for my three-thousand followers celebration !!!

i’m amazed that we’ve reached this milestone, and so quickly at that! in under three months there were one thousand more of y'all !!! in that short period, i did succeed in staying active on tumblr and interacting with many of you—i got so many requests that i’m STILL working my way through, i’ve chatted to some of you through my inbox, and dm’s or replies, and i will forever be grateful for the endless support, laughs, and encouragement y’all have offered me.  sending love to my moots: ilysm. thank you for any bit of chatting you’ve had with me—i really do cherish every one of you, no matter how small or large our interaction has been. extremely happy to call you my moots < 3. @biancathecool @barnestatic @ashiekins @saintslewis @lorarri @ham1lton @loomiscorpse @vetteltea @hookhausenschips @shurisasthmaticgf @mauvecherie-writes @omgsuperstarg @justaf1girl @emjayewrites (i'm sorry if i've forgotten someone, i love you dearly, i promise x) and, of course, a huge ily & tysm to the members of the taglists! i would tag you here but there are too many of you (pls i love y'all down < 3) and it would break the post :)

i mainly write fem!black/poc!readers so if you would like another race/ethnicity for the !reader please send that in your request! please feel free to send a faceclaim too! i accept male! & gn!reader requests as well!

before sending your request check for: an approved driver(s) from the mechanic list below, you've specified which prompt list and number you are selecting, and that you've adhered to the blog guidelines !!!

accepting requests for this event from february 1st to 14th.

please send all requests here through an ask with the "#3k vday celly" included.

all posts for the celebration will be tagged under # httpss :// 3k vday celly

i can’t promise that i will be able to answer every ask, but i will try my hardest to do as many as i can. i love you all and thank you so much, loves. xoxox

-> return to main nav | for mlist, recent & upcoming words, joining the taglist, blog guidelines, and author info.

choose your mechanic(s) — mv. 1 | ls. 2 | dr. 3 | ln. 4 | pg. 10 | ka. 12 | fa. 14 | cl. 16 | ls. 18 | yt. 22 | aa. 23 | ll. 30 | eo. 31 | fc. 43 | lh. 44 | ms. 47 | cs. 55 | gr. 63 | op. 81 | ob. 87

🚗 let’s take a look! — send me the @ of someone you want to show love to! it can be absolutely anyone: a writer, a moot, a friend, or a funny blog you love !!! be the positivity we all want to receive :)

🔦 shine the light right here! — ask me anything !!! questions, writing/smau help, my faves, fic recs, writer recs, would you rather, never have i ever, fmk, etc. xxxx

🛞  tread’s uneven: time for a tire rotation! — send me a driver and a prompt from this list of pre-relationship prompts, or these established relationship prompts, or these hurt/comfort prompts, and i’ll write a blurb or drabble for you xxx (prompt lists are made by me!)

🛢️ 3,000 miles: time for an oil change! — send me a driver and a random word/theme/vibe (literally !!! any word/theme/vibe) and i’ll make a tiny social media au for you !!!

🧽🪣 would you like a complimentary car wash? — send me any five (5) drivers and one (1) kink from this list, and i will rank the drivers in order of who i think is most to least likely to participate/avoid, or love/hate that kink !!! each driver will have a small blurb written xxx

🧾 the policy states: cuties don’t pay! — send me a driver and two (2) letters from this nsfw alphabet !!!

© httpsserene — photos used in header are from pinterest. mdni divider from @cafekitsune.

[andifthestarsweretodie]

I am still in the trenches...

[ikeuki]

is riki in the room with us . . . ? / 니키

( pairing ) nishimura riki x fem!reader ✶ grumpy x sunshine ; fluff/crack, light cursing + idiot-icy — ( wordcount ) 1.1k

ᯓ★ ikueki’s note. he’s sooooo ‘smh’ it hurts ; riki trying to act cool & failing + making a fool out of himself pt.1 !

synopsis. introducing riki’s new seatpartner: you! this is either the best or worst decision you’ve ever made.

“oh ms. y/l/n! i thought you were transferring next week?” the teacher spoke.

“oh i apologize, my counselor decided to move me today, so i would not miss any more material than necessary.” you replied with such sweetness. you were apologizing for a ‘mistake’ that wasn’t even your fault.

all of the students, girls and boys, stared in awe at your almost gleaming presence. “well no worries—for the better if anything! why don’t you go sit down in any empty seat,” the teacher continued, gesturing to the class.

you bowed and scanned the room for an empty seat. there was one by the front of the class, but felt uncomfortable with feeling pressured to raise your hand for every question. especially when there was an obviously smart looking kid sitting in the seat beside it—meaning you would be constantly competing with him for #1.

so you settled for the other one in the back, next to some sleeping kid. all the students’ eyes fell upon you as you made your way to the back row. they all knew your name, your face, everything!

not only were you ranked second of the entire school (first being yang jungwon), you were known to be the school sweetheart. always helping other students study, participating in volunteer work, a member of student council, and on both the tennis and volleyball team.

your résumé was quite impressive. not to mention in the social surroundings as well. every boy wanted to go out with you and every girl wanted to be your friend. there was just a special bubble you seemed to be in that everyone wanted to join!

click. clack. click.

riki’s mind was playing tricks on him, replaying the little clicks your heels made in that gym last friday. but just then the prominent vanilla scent flooded his senses.

he lifted his head, taking a deep breath and losing his head for possible scare methods. until he was met with a familiar yet unfamiliar face.

you didn’t even notice that your unknown seat partner had woken up, too focused on taking notes. riki observed your neatly arranged desk. your pastel colored pencil case at the top, with two notebooks laid out in front of you. the math textbook was next to those and you were writing at the speed of light. in the most neatest handwriting riki had ever seen!

to be fair, he’s only ever seen heeseung and jake’s writing which were not much to compare to.

his eyes slowly wandered from your organized desk to your sparkly gel pen writing formula after formula. he soon found himself admiring looking directly into your eyes, realizing he was caught staring.

“can i help you?” you whispered, staring straight back at the frozen boy.

riki was speechless for the first time ever. no snarky comments or insults. no eye rolls or scoffs.

he was star-struck.

you titled your head to the side, smiling. you noticed a faint rosy blush on his cheeks as he looked at you with wide eyes. the tension could’ve been cut with a knife, so you took the chance to do it first.

“oh! actually i wanted to thank you!” you exclaimed and bent down to your backpack, rummaging through the bag.

“thank me?” riki finally spoke, narrowing his eyebrows. he sat up straight, facing you with his entire body and completely disregarding the teacher’s lecture in the front of the class.

you popped back up and turned to him with your school id in hand. “i listened to your advice and smiled ‘like i always do’” you put air quotes around riki’s words from the gym.

riki leaned in slightly to look at the little plastic card on your shared desk. you had such a natural yet cheery smile that almost put one on his face from just looking at it. but he stopped himself.

instead he looked up to see your face, inches away from his.

your attractive scent filled his senses and he could see the little sparkles decorating your eyelids. his eyes naturally trailed from your brightly-lit eyes to your rosy cheeks and down to your freshly glossed lips. as if on cue, your lips curled into a small smile and he found himself entranced.

flustered, he quickly cleared his throat and pulled back. he acted like there was something terribly wrong with his throat. just then, he did actually start choking a bit. enough for the entire class to go silent and turn back to yours and riki’s desks.

“mr. nishimura? are you alright back there?” the teacher asked, clearly unamused at the boy who always sleeps in class.

“are you okay? do you want some water?” you subconsciously put a hand on his arm in order to get his attention.

which you certainly did…!

riki froze and looked down at your hand.

your hand. on his arm.

he immediately stopped “choking” and awkwardly realized the entire class watching him. “oh…n-no i’m okay.” smooth.

“good.” the teacher replied coldly and returned to the lesson.

“are you sure?” you inquired yet again, your hand remaining in place.

what the hell was wrong with him? why did he feel sweaty and weird? why couldn’t he think? why was he stuttering like an idiot in front of you, trying to think of an answer?

more importantly, why did he care?

he blinked back his honest thoughts and shielded them with his cool-guy persona once again.

“yeah. i’m fine.” he brushed off, a little colder than he wanted.

you withdrew your hand. the corners of your lips faltering a little at his harsh tone. if there was one thing you knew, it was to know when you were not wanted. riki noticed the slight change in your face though, you didn’t want to show your hurt expression but he could tell from your eyes that you didn’t expect his reaction.

however, riki continued with his tough-guy act. he folded his arms and slumped back in his chair, acting as if he didn’t have a care in the world. when in all honesty, he did care. he cared a lot—about what you thought for some weird reason.

you took his response as a sign to cut the conversation short “anyways, i owe you one with the whole picture thing,” you whispered and retracted the school id. riki’s eyes betrayed his actions though, following your adorable id picture all the way to your pencil pouch and you zipping it up in there.

you simply returned to your note-taking as if your interaction didn’t just completely obliterate riki’s world. your eyes stayed on the blackboard ahead the rest of class, not even sparing a little glance to your seat partner. riki peeled his eyes off you and forced himself to stare out the window.

what was he looking at? nothing. absolutely nothing.

he just tried to think about something. anything!

but the clouds began floating together to form mushy hearts. birds flew by, four pairs of two all resting on a tree branch by couple. and what was that now? a rainbow?!

god, it must be the sleep deprivation kicking in, riki thought.

riki thought wrong.

[nemesis-writer]

[Unwanted Ransom(Chapter 4)]

Glided Lily Masterlist TW- mentions of the movie Jersey Girl

9 years ago...

I was going to a pool party for my friend's birthday, but little did I know there was someone else that was gonna be there. I bought him some new sneakers he wanted because he never shut up about them. And since, I had hand me downs, I sold them to earn enough money for the sneakers.

By the time I reached the party Daniel, the friend, approached me saying, "Hey, Xerxes thanks for coming, I thought that you were a bit too busy for this."

"Fuck nah men, I wouldn't miss this for the world." I admitted.

Everything was going smoothly until I saw a person, I thought I would never see again...

Damian.

"What the hell are you doing here, freak?" He shouted at me.

"He is my friend what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You have no friends, dipshit."

"You have no mom dumbass."

Before I had time to know what I said, a fist came toward my face. Luckily I missed it, and responded with an uppercut to his cheek. Finally a taste of his own medicine, too say I was proud of me was an understatement. Until I heard,

"Ms. WAYNE".

Fucking cocksucker had to ruin this day. I felt Mr Wayne grab me by the collar and escorted me out of the party. Dennis muttered a 'sorry', but no one was allowed to do anything, so I couldn't ask for help.

At home...

"Ms Wayne what were you thinking!?"

"Before you continue, it's Ms Amala."

"Don't you give me that tone."

"You don't even know my name, you just call me be your last name just with a Ms."

"You attacked your brother"

"My 'brother' slashed me in my fucking arm and you didn't do shit."

"Maybe if you weren't such a bitch to him he wouldn't have."

"I HATE YOU I WISH MOM NEVER MET YOU!!! "

"SO DO I YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU AND YOUR MOM RUINED MY LIFE."

"Go fuck yourself."

With that I ran to my 'bedroom', and no words were ever exchanged between me and both Bruce and Damian. I never gave them the satisfaction of looking at them, or even apologising.

Damian oddly, left me alone, well it sends a message to any bitch in school. I didn't care for their approval, I stopped when I was 7, feeling like it was pointless to care about them.

It never though, stopped me from joining competitions. I won multiple gold trophies, certificates, medals, even participation awards. I have 3 binders full of my achievements, containing pictures with the president of music, and the presidents of the sports I had joined.

But I kept a scrap-book of all my birthdays celebrated either by Alfred, or my friends. I was grateful, but it always felt like a pity-party, I always was the Wayne outcast but the more I say that, people would think I care.

Present Time.

"Xerxes?"

"Nope, nuh uh, wrong person." I reached for Morgan only for my arm to be grabbed by Jason again.

"What the fuck happened to you! I thought you were dead."

"Xerxes Wayne is dead, you can either address me as Jinx, Jennifer, or Ms Stark."

"Xerxes-"

I raised my eyebrows and cleared my throat at the rage of hearing a name, that was made to be neglected.

"Jennifer, we have been looking for you."

"Oh please"

"Bruce and Damian found your old trophies."

"I thought I told Alfred too clean up."

"The point is we miss you."

"You left me to rot with those people, the point is, now I have a life. You guys never cared about me, I was almost sent to military school for defending some autistic kid."

"Princess, I-"

"No, that ship sailed a long time ago" I ran to Morgan and carried her to our limousine, I never looked at Jason because even though he was the one that actually brought a bit of life to that place, he left us alone.

For now...

At the Wayne Manor...

Jason's POV

"Father we've got to bring her back, she is with the enemy."

"Damian, let's calm ourselves-"

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM!!!"

"We are gonna bring her back soon Damian."

"She's not gonna come back", was all I could let out. I could feel the pointed glares of everyone, even demon spawn's stare pierced.

"What do you mean? She's our family, look at us who wouldn't want this?" Dick asked me, holding his veneer pride, but truly masking guilt and confusion.

"We weren't there for her, she left us when she had a chance." I was irritated to admit it, but it was true, our little bird flew the nest and we were to negligent to realise it.

"We have to bring her back, right?" Tim, was obviously the most idiotic out of all of us, because he decides to think we are picture perfect.

"We can't live on false hope Tim." I screamed with all emotions just completely bursting forth.

"WE WILL BRING OUR SISTER BACK!!!" and with hearing that, I immediately punched Damian, to be honest, a bit too hard for my liking. The demon did deserve it, depending on how you ask.

"Jason, calm down, she'll come to her senses and come back." hearing Bruce say that, before I react I felt something sharp pierce my neck, and slowly I lost consciousness, when I turned around I saw Cassandra murmur, 'sorry'.

Then everything became black

Taglist....

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

But At What Cost?

Warnings: This chapter: Thoughts of suicide, non con, physical abuse, miscarriage; the series: non-con, dub-con, depression, forced marriage, angst, forced pregnancy, 18+

Word count: 2,925

Pairings: Dark!Bucky Barnes / Reader

Summary: Reader is the youngest girl in her family. After being sold to Bucky Barnes, and forced to have his child, she and her sisters look for a way to escape.

~ indicates time change

- indicates a POV change

A/N: Holy shit, I have not updated in 4 years... Life has been so busy with moving, having a child, and starting my new business but I am so incredibly happy to be back! I would get that writing itch but would never scratch it, until now. I plan to post weekly for a long as I can stand it. I also hope to participate in challenges and NANOWRIMO next year, so hopefully this year can be a warm up to where I used to be. Anyway, enough rambling. Let's get into the third and FINAL part to my most popular series, Small Price to Pay. Enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three months. That’s how long it’d been since you and your sisters had escaped your Hellhole of a life. That’s also how far along you were in your pregnancy. You weren’t showing yet, but all your sisters and nephews and nieces knew. Nobody allowed you to stand too long without offering you a chair, and you were exempt from all household chores, to your dismay. The one thing you begged to let them allow you to do was shop on your day and take care of the young children.

Today was your day to leave to get groceries. This time was always extremely stressful for you and your sisters, none of you knew what lay beyond the door. There was no way to know if today was the day that you would all have to separate. More stress was in the air due to your pregnancy. 

Lucille wrote the list of supplies before handing it to you, smiling. “Okay, here’s everything we need. Do I need to remind you not to talk to strangers?” She lifts an eyebrow, her lips turning into a smirk as you slap her arm playfully. 

“Don’t worry, mom, I promise I won’t.” She laughed at you before hugging you close. You all always did this, just in case it’d be your last time together. 

Anne was next to hug you. “Stay safe, baby sis.” You hugged her tight, calming your nerves as you smelled her candy perfume.

 You went on to hug Vienna and she rubbed your belly. “No matter what happens, just know baby boy will keep you safe.” You smiled at your sister.

“You’re so sure it’s a boy?” Vienna nodded.

“Positive. I predicted all my kids’ gender correctly, what makes you any different?” She lifted your hand from your belly, replacing it with yours. You’d always wanted a girl, but deep in your heart you felt it was another boy too. You’d never admit this to your sister, you’d never hear the end of it.

“Your witchcraft doesn’t work on me, devil woman!” you joked, causing all your sisters and you to laugh. You savored that moment, how you felt and the way you all sounded at peace. No doubt none of you had felt that way in a long time. A piece of you knew it all was temporary, soon you’d all go back to worrying. Was that shadow or a person following them? Was that stranger living near us before or did they just move in? What do we know about them?

You were pulled from your thoughts when Anne clapped her hands. “Well, on your way. You want to get there and back before rush hour.”

~

You shopped the aisles of the American store, looking for your last items. As you're pushing the cart you hit something. No someone. You looked up shocked and immediately apologized upon seeing a woman with white hair. Her hand travels down to her protruding belly protectively, and your eyes get wide.

“I am so sorry, Ms, here let me help you.” You rush to the woman’s side as she tries to bend down to pick up her dropped items. She stands back up as you bend to get her items before handing them to her.

“Don’t worry about it, I should really look where I’m going. I don’t have a giant sign on me.” She chuckles at her joke, and you just nod your head. You couldn’t help but feel you knew her, but shook your head. That’s impossible. You knew no women except your sisters and nieces.

“Well, I’m sorry again. Have a good day, ma’am.”

“Wait!” You look back at the woman when you turned to leave her to her business. “I’m sorry to bother you, but could you help me with my groceries home? I live just down the road in Kilven’s road, I was going to ask a grocer to help me but they’re all men. I don’t feel comfortable with that, I’d rather have a woman. If you can’t I completely understand, just thought I’d try anyway.”

You considered the woman for a minute. Kilven’s road was next to yours, it would be an extra 5 minutes max to help this pregnant woman. You understood her wariness to ask a male to help her home. Besides, you did hit her with your cart.

“Sure, let me just check out and I’ll be happy to help you out.”

The woman smiled at this. “Really? That’s great, thank you so much! My name’s Nat by the way.”

~

You and Nat talked the short walk to her house, she had just moved there a year prior to be with her German boyfriend-turn-husband of 6 years. You  nodded your head as she told you stories, you kept your life story vague. You had just moved there yourself, but that’s all you offered.

“Do you have any kids?” You opened your mouth to speak before closing it again, unsure how to answer. You wanted to trust Nat, but you were still getting a weird feeling around her. “I’m sorry, that’s very rude of me. Don’t answer that.”

“It’s okay.” You smile at the woman as you readjust the bags on your shoulders. One held Nat’s items and the others yours. You both shopped light to your luck. You continued to walk in a bit of silence until the woman pointed to her house. 

“Here I am.” You followed her up the steps as she took out her keys. “Would you like to come in? My husband baked a mean German chocolate cake.” She took her bag from your shoulder, and you smiled at her generosity. 

“No, thank you, but I should really be getting home if I want a headstart on dinner.” The woman nodded at your response.

“Of course, of course. Thank you again for your help, get home safe, dear.”

You thanked the woman as you waved goodbye and stepped away down the steps. You hurried off the road with your bag and to your own, never looking back. Little did you know the woman was following you the entire time. 

~

When you got to your house, you took out your keys swiftly before putting them in the lock. You opened the door, looked out and saw nobody there, then locked it behind you.

“I’m home!” You walked to the kitchen, noticing the eerie silence. That’s weird. “Hello?” You walked up the stairs, still not hearing one child. Did they leave? They didn’t call you. When you reached your room you gasped at what you saw. 

“James?” Your husband smiled back at you as your sisters sat in the small room’s corner. James had a gun pointing at the bathroom where you heard small whimpering sounds, no doubt the children were in there. 

“Hey, Baby, miss me?” You gulped.

“James, please. Let my sisters and their children go. I’ll go with you peacefully, just don’t hurt them.” James shook his head.

“Can’t do that, Doll. These women have husbands who are worried sick about them and their kids. Would it be right to just let them kidnap their children and disappear halfway across the world with them?”

You looked to your sisters as tears fell from their eyes. This was all your fault. You should’ve never stayed with them, you and Bucky should’ve found your own place to escape to. You should’ve known James would find a way to you.

“James, please. Don’t do this.” Just then the door downstairs bursted open. You all, except Bucky, jumped at the sound. Fast steps made their way up the stairs, and then Nat appeared in the room’s doorway. Only this time she had no belly.

“Natasha, perfect timing.”

Natasha?

Suddenly you remembered. How could you be so stupid? The woman before you with her own gun was the woman you met at your wedding. She talked to James about moving to Germany to live a life on the downlow. Back then she had red hair.

She sauntered into the room, smirking at you, before aiming the gun at the same door James just was. “Their husbands are on their way here. They should be getting off the plane in about 5 minutes and they’ll be here to get children and wives back in no more than 30 minutes. I’ll keep these lovely ladies company until then.” Your sisters’ eyes widened at her words, and you started crying. 

James smiled and lowered his gun before walking to the bathroom. “Good.” He opened the door and your nieces and nephews started crying. Your heart broke for the pain you were causing. James walked from the room with your son in his arms. “I have everything I need, so I think I’ll take my wife and son and head out.”

Your son calmed down his cries when he was in his daddy’s arms, snuggling closer to him and laying his head beneath his chin to suck on his thumb. 

Natasha turned her attention to you, still keeping the gun pointed at the door. “Look at what you caused. Your son could have grown up without a father. Is that what you want?” She raised her voice at you causing you to jump a little. You shook your head, closing your eyes as more tears poured from them.

“It’s okay, Nat, all that matters is we’re all back together. Isn’t that right, honey?”

“T-that’s right,” you whispered, not wanting to speak the venomous words. James walked over to you before grabbing your arms in a tight grip. 

“Happy you agree, let’s go home. Now.” The last word was growled in your ear, causing you to stiffen again. You opened your eyes to see your sisters again. They smiled weakly at you.

“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed out. James pulled you from the room then the house. A car came to pick you up as you traveled back to the Hell you had tried so hard to crawl away from.

~

When you got back home, James beat you. Bad. You cried and screamed at him to forgive you. Punches flew at you from every side. Your eyes threatened to swell shut from his blows and your lips were purple and bruised. You tried to tell him about the child you were pregnant with, but he couldn’t hear you through his rage. When you were down he kicked your stomach and you cried out in immense pain. He just grabbed your face and kissed you roughly.

James then picks you up from the ground before pushing you down on the bed. “Take off your clothes,” he demands, leaving no room for negotiation. Your mind was still foggy from what had just happened that James had forced on you the minute you both walked through the door and he handed Bucky to a maid you had never seen before. “Now, Doll, don’t make me repeat myself. I’m already pissed.” His nostrils flared as he spoke. 

With shaky hands, you steadily reached for the white button up you had been wearing. You discarded the fabric to the floor, revealing to James your white lacy bra. His pupils dilated as he watched on, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. Next was your skirt, and then you were left with just her matching underwear set. You looked up at James with doe eyes, waiting for your next order. Just like the obedient little girl James had made you. 

“Keep going,” was his only command as he reached to pull off his white dress shirt that hugged his muscles just right. He palmed his growing hard on, the outline very prominent in his black dress pants. The size made your eyes water with more tears. You knew he wouldn’t be gentle. No matter how many times James fucked you, you were still just as terrified as the first time, nearly crying every time he’d stuff it into your tiny cunt. 

James reached behind you aggressively to undo your bra and let it fall to the floor along with your other clothing. Your boobs bounced from being free, and you slowly slid your panties down next. 

You were looking to the floor as you untangled the lacy fabric from your legs, but looked up when you heard a chuckle. You met James’ eyes as his face was turned up in a smirk. 

“Such a fucking tease,” he tsked, “You just want me to destroy that tiny little pussy of yours, don’t you?” You kept eye contact with him as you nodded her head.

“Yes, sir.” 

James leaned down in front of you, grabbing her face and pulling you roughly forward to his lips. He squeezed your jaw so you would open to him, wanting nothing more than to assert dominance with his tongue. 

James’ kisses were never loving, just hungry. He moaned into your mouth as his tongue explored; all the while you sat back with submission, allowing your master to take full control of what’s his. After what felt like minutes, James finally pulled away, pushing you back even more and causing you to whimper at the force. The fight in you dying forever ago.

James unhooked his belt as you held his gaze, dropping eye contact was a rule that you had learned not to break. Once her clothes were off, they had officially begun; after that she wasn’t allowed to look away from him. 

“Turn around. You’re going to learn not to disobey me one way or another.”

“Yes sir.”

“Did you really think you could escape me?” You started to cry again.

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, not yet you’re not. But you will. Look at me.” You turned around and your eyes widened. James’ left arm was replaced with that of a metal one. “You wanna know how I got this?” He tossed a cast that was in the shape and color of his arm that you were used to to the floor. “I was a prisoner of war in World War 2. I was used as a war machine long after the war ended. I’m an ex-supersoldier, Baby. Did you really think you could escape me?” James was starting to raise his voice as you started to cry again. 

He spanked your ass with his robotic arm and you lurched forward at the force. James continued spanking your bare ass until you were so raw you could barely feel it anymore. Your stomach cramped so bad and you screamed at the sudden pain, clutching it and falling to the bed weakly. 

“Get up, I’m not done with you.” But you couldn’t move. You could just stay in the fetal position as your body convulsed in the worst pain you could only relate to birth. Then you felt a liquid escape from your vagina. Your eyes squeezed shut as you begged the pain to leave you soon.

“Y-you’re bleeding. Are you okay?” James’ words barely reached your ears as you suddenly felt nauseous. You couldn’t move as your stomach emptied it’s contents on the bed. Then you saw black.

~

James had beat you so bad you had a miscarriage. When you woke up, you were in a hospital bed. A nurse was checking your vitals when she noticed you were awake. She greeted you, asking how you were feeling, before informing you of the terrible news. She asked to confirm what your husband had told them, that you had fallen down stairs and that explained your bruises and swollen eyes. You said yes.

After that day you were forever broken. You never stepped out of line with James, and you became the wife he had always wanted. No more did you dream of an escape, nor what the future held. You didn’t care.

James was never the same, either. After the incident, he was doting. Always saying he loves you, buying you expensive presents daily with flowers of different kinds. He tried to set you up so you could see your sisters more often, and he even let you leave the house. But you wanted none of it. You took the gifts with not so much of a smile, you rejected to see your sisters, and you chose to only leave the house when food was needed. You only bought Bucky clothes online, not being able to stand being in a child store. 

When Bucky’s 4th birthday rolls around, 3 years later, he is eager to start preschool. He didn’t remember his aunts or his cousins, and he was closer to his father than ever before, shying away from you as you grew colder and colder to both of the relationships you had in your life. It was him who dropped him off to school as you stayed home with a maid to take care of you and your needs. You were currently pregnant with a girl. James said you’d name Dahlia, Dolly for short. She’d be your perfect rainbow baby, he said, a real Doll. 

When Bucky came back home he showed you a card he had made for James at school, insisting it go on the fridge. You obeyed, hanging it there with a magnet that made Bucky happily skip away. 

The card showed Bucky and James hugging, not a sight of you or the child in your womb. You were a waste of space, a visitor in the home you’d created. A hollow shell of who you used to be. You thought about your suicide. It seemed easy, too easy. It’s a small price to pay for freedom, but at what cost? 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @jtargaryen18​ @coconutqueen21​ @collette04​ @nsfwsebbie​ 

[elysianfieldsarchive]

For the fifth year, we are excited to announce the Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange!

That’s great! Except I have a question: What the heck is the Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange?

Ahh, glad you asked, friend. The Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange is our final event of the year. The how is simple: sign up to give a fanwork gift, and receive a fanwork gift!

If you’ve never taken part before, or if you need a reminder, here’s how it works: 

Everyone who signs up to participate will create one fanwork (a fic or a piece of art) and receive one fanwork. (You can opt out of giving and/or receiving art in the Google form if you’re only interested in giving and/or receiving written fic). Each fic MUST be a “one-shot” (a complete work, posted in full, within a single chapter). This means the word count MAX for written fic is 15,000. There is no word count minimum so long as you have satisfied at least one of your giftee's requests in the story.

So a one-and-done fic or piece of artwork that is complete at the time of posting?

Yes!

And fic can’t be more than 15k words?

Correct!

Though, please note that 15,000 words is defined as how our software tracks word counts. Unfortunately, predicting that is a bit nebulous as every writing program defines words differently. In fact, there’s a difference between our textbox counter and the official site word count because sometimes we just can’t have nice things. Suffice it to say, there may be word count discrepancies between Google Docs, MS Word, or other programs. Ultimately, it’s every participant’s job to make sure that your story fits. If your fic is approaching the limit, we recommend leaving ample time for edits to make sure you can post correctly and before the deadline.

So we know the word count max; what’s the word count minimum?

There is no word count minimum for this event. All we ask is that all works be created with care and fit with your giftee’s requests. Some people want a lot of words to do this, and others can make magic with just a few (or none, in the case of art!). We trust our members to be thoughtful when creating gifts for one another.

You mentioned artwork. What if I want to make sure I get a fic, not art?

You can opt-in/out of receiving art on the form.

Since this is a Christmas-themed event, does my gift need to be Christmas-themed?

Nope! But if your giftee requests a holiday-themed work, definitely consider it.

Do we get pretties?

Of course! What’s an EF event without pretties? And because we’ve streamlined crediting, ALL AWARDS ARE UP FOR GRABS. Author, artist, beta/sensitivity reader, and commenter. 

How do I get an author award?

Create a work for the event that is either entirely word-based (fic) or fits our narrative artwork definition.

Can I work with someone else on my event response?

We do not allow co-authored stories for this event, as it would make it too hard to match people. Artists can collaborate with an author by providing art for their story, however, as one way to receive the artist award.

How do I get an artist award?

Create a story banner for someone else’s Santa work, contribute artwork to a Santa work, or create artwork for your giftee.

How do I get a beta/sensitivity reader award?

Help a creator out by providing feedback on their work in progress. You can volunteer to beta or sensitivity read on our Discord server, or create a beta profile.

How do I get a commenter award?

Leave a minimum of 15 comments comprised of at least 15 words over the course of the event. These comments do not need to be on event submissions but can be left on any fanwork on the site.

I’ve signed up! What happens now?

Once you complete the form, the Mods will work together to make best case matches from all of the responses and then reach out to each participant with the penname and fanwork preferences of their giftee. Please remember that this gift-giving is confidential. Don’t share who you have for a giftee until you post your fic! 

Work together to keep the SECRET in SECRET SANTA.

Can anyone participate?

Unlike other EF events, we do have restrictions on participation.

Any member, whether they've previously written a fic on EF or not, is eligible to partake in this event––UNLESS you signed up for last year’s Secret Santa event and did not complete your fic or did not complete your fic by the deadline. Those members will have already been notified (at the end of last year’s event) and will not be eligible to participate this year, but may participate again in 2025.

Please note that bad behavior toward your gifter or giftee, regarding either the gift you receive or the gift you deliver, will result in a permanent ban from this event for all future years. We wish we didn’t have to say it, but we do.

We hate leaving anyone out, but since the spirit of this event is gift-giving and impacts other members, we take sign-ups very seriously. Everyone who decides to participate should both give AND RECEIVE a gift.

What if I sign up in good faith but something comes up?

We understand life happens. All participants who have yet to post their gifts will receive an email on or around December 15 to confirm their intent to complete. If you must drop out, please inform the Mods before this date. This will give our Rescue Writers/Artists time to swoop in.

Dropping out DOES mean you won’t be able to participate next year, but we’d rather know so we can make contingencies than have someone go giftless. If you do not communicate with us at all regarding dropping out, you will be banned from participating in all future Secret Santa exchanges.

I want to make sure everyone gets a gift, regardless. How can I help? / You mentioned Rescue Writers/Artists. What are those?

Rescue writers/artists are members who sign up to help out just in case someone is unable to complete their work. If someone drops out, we may reach out to see if you can help make sure their giftee doesn’t go empty-handed.

What if I am paired with the same person as last year/year’s past?

Hopefully, this won’t be an issue; we will do everything possible to avoid pairing repeats. That said, it might be that your best match is someone you were previously paired with. People who were previously paired were paired because their wants-to-receives and willing-to-creates were in harmony. If that hasn’t changed, then it could be you are again the ideal creator/recipient for someone you were paired with in the past.

Anything else?

Just one thing. Please thank your gifter when they publish the gift they make for you. Sometimes we get gifts that don’t live up to our expectations, but they were still made with enthusiasm, love, and a love of our community.

We take this very seriously. Bad behavior toward your gifter or giftee, in regards to either the gift you receive or the gift you deliver, will result in a permanent ban from this event for all future years. If there is an issue, let the Mods know.

Okay, so what are the dates?

Important Dates:

November Now-17: Signup to participate in the 2024 Elysian Fields Secret Santa Fanwork Exchange 

November 22-23: Assignments Distributed

December 1: Posting begins!

December 15: Your drop-out deadline

December 31, 11:59 pm, site time: All gifts must be posted. 

No late sign-ups or publishing will be allowed.* Leaving a participant giftless will make Spuffy deeply sad, and we can’t have that. It will also result in ineligibility from participating in Secret Santa for at least one year. (A one-year ban if you don’t post but at least tell us, or a lifetime ban from participating if we never hear from you.)

*If you miss the deadline to post, please still send your gift, just be aware that it won’t officially count toward the event. And—we cannot stress this enough—keep the mods informed about your gift.

Any questions? Email us or comment!

And in case you missed it: HERE'S WHERE YOU SIGN UP FOR THE 2024 ELYSIAN FIELDS SECRET SANTA FANWORK EXCHANGE

[sk1bidi-n1k0-e4ts-people]

Tony basically scaring his kid during the whole Iron Man 2 movie because of his self destroying tendencies (becoming Iron Man, blood toxicity, leaving his job at S.I, the race car incident, his crazy birthday party…). Obviously the kid is scared! So his daughter stays at Pepper’s maybe for the meantime he is trying to heal and create that new element, but he eventually ends up going to her to apologize and take her back home because he can’t live without his baby girl with him

Cant live without you

Summary: tony becomes reckless, but apologies

Warnings: tony being reckless, crying, y/n being afraid she is not loved,

A/N: sorry it took me so long to get to this reqs. It was amazing 👏 I don't think I did justice to it.

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•++•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You loved your father, yes. But it became hard as he began to be very reckless. It had been weeks since he had even spoken to you.

He was your best friend. And he suddenly stopped speaking and spending time with you. You were beyond confused, especially since you were only 8 at the time.

You had a terrible day at school. And you would have gone to tony about it, but you didn't think he would even listen. So you went to happy, who was the one who picked you up because your dad was "too buzy".

"Happy?" You said, getting his attention.

"Yeah kid" he said looking away from the road to glance at you, then ultimately back to the road.

"I had a bad day, can i talk about it?" You asked sadly.

"Of course, go ahead" then you began to ramble on and on about your terrible day. Happy, unlike tony, listened to every word that came out of your mouth.

When you arrived at the Malibu house, you headed straight to your room. Not expecting anyone to be there, but when you walked in you were greeted by pepper, sitting on your bed casually.

"Hey pep" you said walking into the large bedroom. She noticed how your eyes were drooped, and you were frowning. You were clearly upset.

"Y/n? Whats wrong sweetheart" she asked with kind eyes.

"Daddys been not spending time with me, i cant even remember last time he talked to me. And i had a bad day today, just sad..." you said, holding back tears.

Pepper noticed this and immediately took you into her arms. You began to cry into her shoulder. Small sobs coming from you. Wrapping your arms tightly around her neck.

"And hes been really dangerous and.....can i stay with you for now?" You asked, pulling away from her, and she immediately answered

"Of course sweetie" she said as you began sobbing once again. A few moments later she helped you pack a bag.

+•°+*°•+

tony was in the workshop when he suddenly remembered it was recently his birthday week, you always got him one handmade present per day on the week of his birthday. But he hadn't seen you In a while.

He went up to your bedroom, but you weren't there. He checked the whole house in fact, he was about to call the police when Jarvis spoke up.

"Sir, ms stark is at ms potts house."

"What, why?" He decided not to come retrieve you right now. Given that he could put you in more danger then you already are in. But after 3 days, this took a pretty hard hit on little 8 year old you.

You thought he wasn't coming because he didn't care, did he even love you anymore? You would ask yourself that all the time. You even ditched one of your soccer games. (Or whatever sport you participate in)

Pepper and happy were your entire support system. You didn't think that anyone cared about you anymore, except happy and pepper.

One day, (just after he created the new element and destroyed his garage) there was a knock at the front door, pepper opened it and upon seeing tony standing there, she tried to shut it in his face. But he stopped it with his hand. You were peeking around a corner, and accidentally made eye contact with tony. Immediately stepping back so he couldn't see you.

"Y/n/n? Baby?" You slowly walked out from your hiding place. And saw that he was wearing his matching black sabbath shirt. And had something behind his back.

Slowly, you walked up to him, he knelt down to be on eye level with you. And spoke up.

"Y/n, i am so, so sorry baby. I shouldn't have done the things I did. Im sorry. And if you dont wanna forgive me, i get it-" He said choking back tears, being interrupted by you throwing your arms around his neck.

"Its okay daddy" you mumbled into his shoulder. That's when he broke. Sobbing into you, he held you tight. He didn't deserve your forgiveness, your kindness, but you always believed in second chances.

Pulling away from this hug, he held the back of your neck, you leaned forward and kissed his cheek, he closed his eyes for a small moment before saying something

"And plus you forgot philip" he said holding up a teddy bear. You gasped and snatched the stuffed animal.

He took you back home, you sat in the passenger seat, holding onto his arm the whole way home.

When you arrived at the house, you walked in holding tonys hand and saw the whole place practically destroyed. The entire living room covered in black as if something had exploded, and a hole in the floor.

You stopped walking immediately, tony being jerked back since you were holding him.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" you screamed out. He chuckled, and lead you upstairs to his bedroom and picked you up. He lied down on the king sized bed, holding you to his chest. You fell asleep against him.

After you fell asleep tony made way down to the garage once again after tucking you in.

+•°+*°•+

You were now at the expo, when Justin hammer started to present the hammer drones your jaw dropped in awe, you glanced at pepper who did not seen impressed. You turned back making the same face as her.

When your father randomly showed up, you probably cheered the loudest.

When pepper and Natasha went behind stage, you followed. When nat pinned hammer down, you clapped a few silent claps, bouncing slightly. And stook your tongue out at him.

When pepper walked out of the building you followed her once again.

After a few minutes a destroyed hammer drone started beeping, pepper took you into her arms, lifting you off of the concrete ground. You looked around uneasily that's when you spotted your father.

You barely had time to process this before he swooped down, grabbed the two of you and took off.

When you landed on the roof, you slid down peppers side as they started arguing.

"Oh my god, i cant take this anymore!" Pepper said as she covered her eyes "you cant? Look at me"

"My body literally cannot handle the stress, i never know if your gonna kill yourself or wreck the whole company"

"I think i did okay!" Tony yelled out "i quit, im resigning...thats it"

even you did not expect her to say that "what'd you just say, your done? Thats surprising. No its not surprising, i get it. You dont have to make any excuses"

"Im not making any excuses" they started to speak over each other, and you just sat there. "You deserve better." tony said taking her hand. "You've taken such good care of me"

"Im in a tough spot, but you got me through it, so...right..yeah lets talk clean up" then they began to say a bunch of words you didn't yet understand.

"Well for you its like dog years, its like the presidenc-" being cut of by tony pulling her in and kissing her.

You whipped around covering your eyes and muttered a small "blah!" When you turned around you saw Rhody sitting in tonys suit. He put his finger up to his mouth and mouthed "shhhhh"

"Weird....run that by me again" he said pulling her close once more

"I think it was weird.." Rhody spoke up. You standing next to him.

'You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape"

"You should get lost" tony said pointing a finger at him. "I was here first, get a roof" you chuckled at this clever remark.

"Listen, my car got taken out by the explosions, so...im gonna need to hang on to your suit for a minute okay"

"Not okay with that"

"Wasn't a question" Rhody said standing up, you immediately took a few steps back and he took of.

"How are you gonna resign, if i dont except" you giggled and brought them into a group hug. Kneeling down so they could get to you.

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

Tags

@animealways // @white-wolf-buckaroo // @tonystark-au // @yummyangy // @zebralover //

[hoshibatake]

FREEDOM – Epilogue

Previous chapter

<Several days later. On a set based on the fictitious city “FREEDOM”>

Subaru: Whoa…! It looks a lot more like FREEDOM than I thought it would!

Subaru: You can even actually play games in the arcade. That’s amazing. It’s just like the real thing☆

Mao: FREEDOM is a virtual city, so calling it “the real thing” is a bit confusing.

Mao: But this really is amazing. This place looks just like what we saw on our screens.

Hokuto: I agree. Although it’s just a set, so it's not as big as that virtual world…

Hokuto: But even if it’s just the central area, it makes me happy to see it recreated in such detail.

Makoto: Yeah. This area is especially packed with our “love”¹, after all.

Makoto: Anzu-chan, you asked Tenshouin-senpai to let us film a music video in FREEDOM, right? Thanks for doing that for us♪

Subaru: ...Oh～? Among the project’s business partners, there was a production company that you knew, so you got them to help you with a proposal?

Subaru: So FREEDOM thanks its existence to the network you’ve built up, huh?

Subaru: That’s our Anzu! Ms. President～♪

Hokuto: What is it, Anzu?

Hokuto: …“I didn’t do anything”? Don’t say that.

Hokuto: You handed FREEDOM over to us, and let us develop it freely from the start until the end. You must have thought about correcting our unskilled attempts multiple times.

Hokuto: But instead, you watched over us as we learned, didn’t you?

Hokuto: Not because you didn’t want to guide us, but because you believed that we could do it. I’m grateful for that.

Mao: Yeah. And you even casually conjured up this extra job of filming a music video.

Mao: Our miniature city of FREEDOM, which was only known by a couple of people, will be appreciated all over the world because of this new song.

Mao: In other words, we’ll be able to show our fans what we’re like in this new year. We get to show them our “love”.

Mao: As usual, you’re an impressively competent producer, Anzu.

Mao: ...Alright. It looks like everything’s ready, so let’s start filming♪

Hokuto&Mao: “♪～♪～♪”

Mao: ...But this sure was a strange job offer. Building a city and all that.

Hokuto: Indeed. But it was fun. This isn’t something just anyone gets to experience in their daily life.

Mao: True. I’d love to try out lots of other new things this year.

Mao: Normal things like the stuff other idols do just don’t fit us as well♪

Hokuto: When we just met, all you wanted was to live in peace. It seems as if you’ve been thoroughly corrupted too, huh?

Mao: Ahaha, you might be right. I still prefer peaceful times, but goofing off with you guys is just so much fun.

Mao: At this point I’m fully immersed in Trickstar...♪

Subaru: “♪～♪～♪”

Subaru: After we’re done filming, this set will be torn down, right?

Subaru: I wanna keep singing and dancing here forever. I wanna stay in this world for as long as I can!

Subaru: Maybe I should mess up my dance moves on purpose, so we’ll have no choice but to do more takes～♪

Makoto: Ahaha. You’ll cause trouble for the staff if you do that.

Makoto: If we finish early, they might allow us to explore the city at our leisure. Let’s do our best and make a great music video♪

Makoto: “♪～♪～♪”

Makoto: Akehoshi-kun, can I reminisce about the distant past with you for a bit?

Subaru: The distant past? The time when you were a baby?

Makoto: Ahaha, not that distant. About when I became “Yuuki Makoto” the idol.

Makoto: Do you remember the Venus Cup²? It was before we even formed Trickstar.

Subaru: Yeah. That was the DreFes we participated in during our first year, right?

Makoto: That’s the one. At that time I had more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. The only reason I even attended the Venus Cup was to balance the number of representatives from each class.

Makoto: I was just another nameless idol, one of a countless number at Yumenosaki.

Makoto: But back then… in that venue where most of the seats were empty, you called out to me.

Makoto: “Let’s sing together”, you said. You told me I wasn’t all alone up on that stage.

Makoto: (When I was a model, I was always alone.)

Makoto: (...No. I “didn’t exist”. I just played the role that was expected of me. I was empty inside.)

Makoto: (I enrolled at Yumenosaki because I didn’t want to be like that anymore.)

Makoto: ...That’s the moment I became an idol.

Makoto: By telling me “let’s do our best together!”, you breathed life into me.

Makoto: Although you might have forgotten about that moment.

Subaru: Ahaha, I remember! How could I forget?

Subaru: We stood shoulder to shoulder and sang like friends. Just like this, woo...♪

Makoto: W-Whoa! Akehoshi-kun, let go of me. This way we’ll have to redo the take.

Subaru: Ahaha! It’s okay, the camera is focused on Sari～ and Hokke～ right now☆

Subaru: ...That day there was almost no one who bothered to watch us, but now we have loads of fans.

Subaru: All those people are proof that we’ve been doing things right all along.

Subaru: That’s exactly why I feel like we’re unstoppable as long as we’re with the four of us! If we work extra hard, we might even be able to perform in the unexplored expanse of space one day☆

Subaru: There’s no bigger joy than working towards a shared goal with your friends, don’t you agree, Ukki～♪?

Makoto: Yeah… I think so too.

Makoto: In the past I didn’t believe in myself. Even after I got into a school for idols, I didn’t have a clue what to do.

Makoto: I was gathering dust like a shelf full of unplayed games.

Makoto: But then I met the others, and we formed Trickstar. I became myself… I became free.

Makoto: Sometimes I still get frustrated because I feel incompetent, but…

Makoto: ...as long as I get to sing and laugh with the others like I am right now, I’m incredibly happy.

Makoto: I’m so glad I decided to become an idol...♪

Makoto: “♪～♪～♪”

TL notes:

Every time any of the characters talks about “love” in quotes in this chapter, it was the word 『好き』“suki” in quotes in Japanese. Suki can mean love or like (love for objects, hobbies, people, etc.), and it can also be used in the sense of “the way I like/want”. I interpreted it like this: they were talking about their “suki” in many senses of the word. So things that they enjoy, people they love, the way in which they express their love/enthusiasm, as well as having the freedom to do what they like.

The story that describes the events surrounding the Venus Cup in more detail is “Rocket Start”.

Translated by me, proofread by Altea (@icaruswasthesun on Twitter)

Big thanks to Altea for proofreading all of my work, and thank you for reading!

[as8bakwthesage]

My Experience With Lily Orchard + Fuck Her

Now, if those of you who know me or have been following me for a while will know that I used to be a massive Lily Orchard fan. I used to support her, I defended her, and I was once a member of her patron even.

I’ve heard stories from people, former friends, former fans, about how much of a manipulating and nasty bitch she is. At best, she’s lashed out at fans for drawing innocuous fanart and for bringing up topics in stream that she doesn’t approve of (I’ve been there, I’ve seen it), and at worst she’s a lying abusive cunt who can’t help but make people around her miserable.

And while I’ve not been the subject of Lily’s abuse, I have been witness and bore the blunt of her passive aggressive horseshit, her manipulating situations to make me appear like a cunt for daring to correct her on an opinion of a book she never fucking read, her shamelessly putting me on blast in one of her videos where she insinuated I was stupid for asking a question about LGBT+ rep, for telling me and other fans to stop talking when we tried to defend our positions in chat.

I’ve had to walk on eggshells around her because I feel like every word I say or anything I do will be seen as an attack on her despite me being a fan of hers for literally fucking years and she knows this. I’ve been a fan of hers since I was 15-16 and I’m 22 now. With no other content creator have I felt the need to be so fucking careful of what I say.

And when I sent her an ask telling her that her yelling at others on stream for seemingly no reason was actively triggering me (mind you, in the nicest way possible because I couldn’t hurt Ms. Orchard’s feewings oh nuuuu) she ignored my ask. Do I have proof she saw it? No. Is she a large enough content creator that she receives so much interaction/asks on her tumblr that my ask got swallowed? Also No.

If you’re a Lily Orchard fan, I am not a needless hater, I am not a stalker or a troll or a bigot. I’m a transgender and biromantic/asexual person myself who is Native and actively participates in activities regarding my tribe and culture. I’m white passing like Lily is. I used to be a fan of hers for fuck’s sake and an active one too.

But here’s the thing - she’ll suck you in with her bold commentary and criticisms and some of it is genuinely really thought provoking and interesting. On the outset she has a “no tolerance for abusers” policy and she’s charismatic to an audience of teenagers who were being abused. Fuck, she helped me realise I was being abused and when the Toonkritic shit came out, that slowly started to help me realise I was being groomed by my exe (TheHauntedReader)

I convinced myself for the longest time that just because Lily wrote “Stockholm” that it didn’t mean anything. That all of her weird takes and opinions were just a quirky “haha i did this in my youth and i regret it” moment. But this isn’t 13-year-old me writing weird fanfiction between an adult and a child when I didn’t fucking know any better and was being actively groomed and abused, this was an adult who wrote CP and romanticised it and tried to get away with it and who should have known better!

And once you are a fan of hers, it’s hard not to become emotionally invested, especially if you’ve always seen her behaviour as normal, which I did. A lot of her fans are abuse/trauma survivors and she knows that. So many of us have confided to her that she helped us realise we could be happier and that we could escape. That we were more than our abuse. These are powerful things to talk about.

But she doesn’t care about us. Never has. Never will. She convinced me and has convinced others that us asking her stupid/silly questions is damaging to her. That it’s caused her so much emotional damage and stress that she can justify lashing out and verbally abusing her audience, y’know - the people who gave her a career. By her own admission, she hates us, but expects our support when she’s being harassed??

Girl, fuck off.

But that is just my own experience. I’ve seen some shit in the past couple of days that I can’t unsee and I encourage you all to look into it because it’s such a dark hole that the phrase “stare into the abyss for too long and it stares back” is what I feel like right now.

And I know why I feel like this - I invested energy and money and emotions into this woman and her channel. I’ve supported her. And no, Lily, this is not about me wanting to be your friend. It’s about me asking for some fucking decency as someone you at least know of and at most you know supported you? To not lie and misrepresent what I’ve said and then vaguepost about me?

Have I made mistakes? Yes. But that’s no excuse to berate and yell at people who have only asked stupid questions or fuck, even made goddamn harmless jokes??

Also, if fans/friends of Lily’s are harassing @asunnycoffee you guys are the fucking worst. Don’t fucking attack my friend you raging cunts. I have a couple ideas of who you might be, but I know you won’t air out your dirty laundry with me, Ginger.

You guys are pathetic.

Lily doesn’t care about her fans, she doesn’t care about her friends, and she’s certainly not going to start anytime soon.

[1dpridefest]

We want to extend a massive thank you to everyone who participated in the first ever edition of the 1D Pride Fest! Whether you submitted a prompt, wrote a fic, created some art, or reblogged everyone’s works, this fest would not have been the same without you, and we thank you all for helping us celebrate Pride Month together!

Links to all of the fics and artworks that were submitted as part of the fest can be found below. Don’t forget to show our authors and artists some love by leaving kudos, commenting, and reblogging their lovely contributions!

We hope you all had a happy Pride Month!

🏳️‍🌈✨🏳️‍⚧️

Artworks

🏳️‍🌈 Collaboration between @wendersfive & @broken-beak-flower-feast

🏳️‍⚧️ just get there your own way by @nouisforlife

🏳️‍🌈 Drawing by @harryshandbag

Fics

🏳️‍⚧️ Hold Me Tight (Or Don’t) by @hellolovers13

Falling in love with Louis is easy enough.

Separating Louis from the singer persona Harry has been a fan of for years, however, is not.

But she's not the only one making assumptions.

🏳️‍🌈 The Magnificent Ms. Malik: A Brand New Era Starts Here by @fifthnormani

In 2013, 1D records the Best Song Ever music video and Zayn feels different after he puts on his Veronica outfit. He doesn't know what to do with these feelings or what they mean; luckily Niall is there to help and gives Zayn a new word that opens up a world of previously unimagined possibilities.

Ten years later, in 2023, she calls Niall up again to tell him her new name.

🏳️‍⚧️ Ask Him by @fxckingprincesspark

When Lewis Capaldi gets pressed for information on who he's dating, he admits it... he's been seeing Niall Horan. The only problem? He jokes so much that no one believes him.

🏳️‍🌈 Inner Crisis by @neondiamond

Louis calls an LGBTQ+ crisis hotline after coming out as asexual to his friends and family doesn’t quite go as well as he’d hoped. Harry answers his call.

🏳️‍⚧️ you made my heart stop by @itsnothesameasitwas

Don’t you ever feel like your life has been perfectly composed until one day it wasn’t, that everything seemed more than fine but it was not, because sometimes as simple as it might sound or look, it could change your life?

OR a Heartstopper AU, but in HarryandLouis Universe.

🏳️‍🌈 somewhere in between and not at all by @greeneyesfriedrice with art by @alphalouis

He’s always known that he’s some sort of queer. There’s no doubt about it. When he was younger, he loved the feeling of his sister’s pantyhose on his legs, and loved to play dress up whenever he could. But it never went any further than that, and as he got older, he hid that part from himself. There were more homophobes than not in his school, and he couldn’t risk anything getting out.

While he was hoping that he would become more involved in the gay scene, he wasn’t expecting it to happen so immediately. He’s barely been in NYC for two days, and he’s now surrounded by all different types of men and…others? God, he isn’t even sure what to call them. He really doesn’t know much.

(or, Harry is new to NYC and discovers something about himself, and Louis is there for him. Always.)

🏳️‍⚧️ Paint A Rainbow Inside My Heart by @cyantific

A story about hiding in plain sight and the journey to revealing your truth, told in six acts.

Or, the five times Harry queer coded with actions, behaviors or clothing and the one time he was too proud to hide anymore.

A 5+1 fic.

1D Pride Fest Collection on AO3

[thegoddessprose]

Felt like writing outside my main fanfic again... So here's another fic! For now, my Chitarch content will be here on Tumblr... I don't think it's up to snuff for Ao3 and there are a couple of spoilers. Also, the Heavensbadies are more alive here than my other platforms 😁

Anyway, this is about when Chiasa and Plutarch had their first meaningful conversation after she found herself helping out with a minor operation; you could call it the first real spark between them. Enjoy!

Chiasa stared at her comm, contemplating what to do. She had to talk to somebody... But who? She'd had her hard feelings toward the government for decades, but she was normally able to keep them to herself. This time was different... This time, she aided and abetted the rebels directly.

It was Yuletide night... One minute she was enjoying herself at her nephew Marcus's party, the next, she'd heard talk about "undercover," and "safehouses" near a suite's ajar door. She found Marcus, his girlfriend, Ann, and Plutarch Heavensbee with a little family and three festive bags filled with essentials. From what was gathered, the woman, "Agent Hale," was compromised. She was rescued in time and getting ready to get somewhere safe.

There was so much going through Chiasa's head... She'd heard whispers of a "cold war" between the government and a rebel cell, but for the most part, she dismissed it as propaganda. Even so, she was more inclined to side with these rebels. As happy as she was that Marcus turned out to have a conscience, his being an agent filled her with a new kind of worry. Still... That wasn't what compelled her to help. It was the two scared and confused kids. She knew what would happen... Snow would dangle them in front of that poor woman, at least... That couldn't happen, especially when she'd troubled them when she overheard. Helping Plutarch smuggle Agent Hale and her children to her studio and disguising them further was the least she could do. And of course, giving Plutarch her solemn word that she'd keep quiet... Even if Marcus wasn't involved, she still heard that some damaged reputations in the past were the cell's retaliation.

In the end, it was the right thing to do, but being on the sidelines and participating were two different things. As much as she'd always wished to... She had her family, friends, and business to think about. Maybe that ship had sailed... At least with her nephew. He was young, but far from stupid, he had to know what he was getting into. But worrying about him was natural... as was the agony over what had happened, how many rumors were true...

Who would she call, though... Talking to her sister and brother in law were out... Talking to Marcus might end in a lecture born of her anxiety... Tigris maybe? No... She might be estranged from her cousin but who knew where her politics stood? Well... There was one person left... Mr. Heavensbee. She barely knew the guy, only exchanging a polite conversation here and there over the years... But he was there, he knew what he was doing... As much as he didn't seem like the emotional type, there wasn't anyone else. She found his office number and dialed. At the tone, she steadied her breathing... Be polite, but vague...

"Head Gamemaker's office, how may I help you?" a female voice answered.

"Oh! Um... Hello. You must be Mr. Heavensbee's assistant," said Chiasa, "My name is Chiasa Lapin... Is he available? I have to speak with him."

"I'm sorry, he's quite busy... Can I--"

"It's about Marcus Natale's party last night," she added.

The line was silent. She really should have gotten this poor woman's name... Was shein on this, too?

"Oh... What did you say your name was?" the assistant asked.

"Chiasa Lapin."

"Hold please."

Yet another few moments to agonize.... Please don't hang up, please don't hang up....

"Hello?" a male voice answered, "Ms. Lapin?"

"Yes, Mr. Heavensbee? Hello! I know you're busy, but I was wondering if I could speak to you about las--"

"Not now," he interrupted, "Not here."

That would have been rude in another setting, but maybe he had a point... Spies could be anywhere.

"I, sorry, I-I..."

"We can talk tomorrow at 5 PM. My estate in the Gilded Hills," he said, "I'm sure I don't have to warn you about trying anything."

He really didn't, but... She thought it would have taken more convincing than that. Maybe the cerebral man had a soul after all?

"I, yes, thank you, I'll be there."

"I'll see you then."

The line went dead. At least he was straightforward... Those tended to be better men in general. Hopefully the trend would continue...

To be honest, Chiasa didn't know what to expect when she arrived at the grand villa. Nothing was really certain at this point... But that was why she was there, wasn't it? The minute she was let in, two plain-clothed flocked to her. The woman took her coat and purse, then started searching through each.

"Excuse me," Chiasa started to protest.

The man pointed to her skirt pockets, gesturing for them to empty them. She only had her comm, but nevertheless, the man handed it over to his companion. He then took out what looked like a scanner... Something one might find at the presidential palace's entrance. Nothing seemed to be off, so she was escorted through the Roman style home to the parlor, where Plutarch was waiting.

"Hello," she greeted, "Well, that was thorough... Awfully invasive."

"I'm sorry, but one can't be too careful," he said, "You understand... Don't worry, you'll get everything back when you leave."

"I guess..." she replied, "Mr. Heavensbee, if you wanted to frisk me, you could have just asked."

She giggled nervously, and Plutarch blushed lightly. Noticing this, Chiasa immediately went pale and regretted her choice of words. Maybe there was another reason she wasn't an active rebel... Too many slips of the tongue under pressure.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean anything by that, I just--"

Luckily, Plutarch just laughed. "I know you didn't. You're probably just nervous... It's understandable after what's happened."

Chiasa let out a sigh of relief... Even with rebel leanings, at least one of them could still mind their manners.

"Care for a drink?" he offered.

"Yes, please... A decaf with cream would be nice."

"Julius?" he called out to the male avox, "Please bring us two decaf coffees, one with milk, one with cream."

It said a lot about a person's character when they called avoxes by their names... Chiasa remembered a time when the practice wasn't the norm it was in the present... But even she couldn't escape it. Bettina had been with her for about twenty years... Only because she could go to someone crueler if Chiasa let her go. The best she could do was give her nice clothing, tips, and a better place to sleep. Ideally, she'd have her sent home with her tongue intact, but the world wasn't ideal. Chiasa was learning quite a bit about this man, yet the real conversation hadn't yet begun.

"Mr. Heavensbee," she started.

"Please, Plutarch," he interjected, "I get enough honorifics everywhere else, at least let me escape them at home, Ms. Lapin."

"Well then, I'm just Chiasa. I may be old on paper, but I don't need a reminder around every corner either."

"Noted."

Julius had since returned with their coffee... While taking a sip, Chiasa studied her companion. Plutarch was oddly relaxed, having the same idea... It was simply another Tuesday for him! She'd seen such a poise under fire in her elders when she was a girl, but it was rare in people younger than her. She wondered what he’d seen... What he'd done... To master such a skill. It was simply how things worked...

She had to admit, he wasn't bad-looking... In all the years they'd been acquainted, he was. He was freckled, plump, salt and paprika, human. Such a thing was becoming rarer and rarer nowadays... As much as she staved off her age, she was still old fashioned in her belief that beautiful people looked like people, not animals or whatever other fantastic creature was "fashionable." Even her own mentor, Tigris, had fallen into that unfortunate trend.

"Now," Plutarch started, "I guess you're wondering why I agreed to meet with you."

Why indeed... She had a couple of guesses, at least.

"I don't know... Maybe you felt sorry for me? Did Marcus ask you?"

"Maybe a little," he replied, "And he's got nothing to do with this. As far as I know, he doesn't even know you're here. No... I'm curious."

Chiasa found herself shifting in her seat. She knew what was coming. She literally walked right into it, yet she felt a familiar lump in her throat; the one she always got whenever she had to hold her tongue.

"Why? Why did you help?" he asked.

Clearly, he was a rebel. There wasn't much of a need to hide, but she still felt the need to be diplomatic.

"Because it was the right thing," Chiasa replied, "There were kids involved, I couldn't have anything go awry for their sake."

"Is that so... Believe me, if you'd stuck your neck out before, I'd know. The right thing... I'm sure Snow would believe they'd have it come, it's just the way for traitors--"

"Well, Snow can go straight to hell! These are children! No matter what their mother did, they don't deserve death! Actually, since their mother obviously believes the same with what happens every damned summer for so many--"

Surprising herself, Chiasa covered her mouth and averted her eyes. Even though she had some mishaps in the past, nothing on this scale ever happened. For a moment, she forgot where she was, tearing up and starting to tremble.

"I-I'm sorry, I forget myself," she whimpered, "Forget I said that... But they're safe, right? They're in a safe place."

"They are, they're in a much safer place," said Plutarch, "But I can't forget what you said. I think you know by now that I'm not going to condemn any of that... Did you mean it."

She looked back up at him to see him carefully scrutinizing her. Of course... He was still making sense, at least. Either way, she was in too deep to turn back. All she could do was nod. Plutarch seemed pleased... Or perplexed? Both, maybe. He was still hard to get a read on.

"Either I've been misled, or you're a lot better than you're given credit for," he pondered.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't worry yourself with that.... How long have you felt this way? I know you were a stylist."

It was true... Chiasa had been the stylist for District 3 for years. It was typically humiliating to be let go for someone younger and hipper, but she took her retirement as a blessing... It was the least painful way to escape. She couldn't remember what drove her down that path in the first place... Her parents being quietly displeased should have been the first clue... Running away from reality with a "bad habit" in her youth should have been a red enough flag... She really should have gotten out while she could, before Snow had that much power, but she was so damned stubborn back then...

"Quite a while..." she admitted, "My mother did plant a few free thinking seeds in my head... But I didn't have strong opinions until I started work and met the poor children... I didn't take it well the first few years, but that's another story. But yes... I was so determined to have my fashions on top, then I had my kids and had to support them... And if you've heard anything about me, I'm not one to just settle down and marry rich."

"And all those years, you hadn't done anything?" His tone wasn't quite harsh, but still kept the guilt coming.

"I'm sorry to say no... Maybe this sounds pathetic to someone like you... I imagine you're pretty seasoned in this rebel business," she replied, "If you know as much as you say, then you know what's at stake if something goes wrong. You should, after what happened. What about the less lucky ones, like your friend Gus Petra? Even innocent people like my d-- Never mind. I don't want anything happening to me or my family. I'm no fool, Plutarch... But if it helps me survive, then it's best that people think that of me."

Chiasa wiped away her tears, and glanced back at him. The room was silent for what seemed like an eternity... But there was no angry reaction. He continued to scrutinize her, and she felt exposed. It was only fitting, finally getting a dark secret out there. Still, it wasn't ill-intentioned like many men... Moreso he was trying to pierce her soul.

"It's good to put up a front, especially in this world," he finally said, "But it's still simply that, a front. I wouldn't say you're pathetic... Nor callous, shallow, stupid... As for the fear... If it didn't work, we'd be out of the woods by now. You seem like the caring type... Always wanting to protect everyone. In doing so, however, people are still hurt. In the end, not everyone can be saved. I understand."

"I guess... Yet, you're still doing this, being a rebel without the fear, always with that possibility of ultimate failure. How?" she asked.

"I never said there wasn't any fear," Plutarch replied with a slight smile, "But it's not about that. It's about knowing something else is more important. You know Chiasa... You could have just walked away, stood by like always, but you didn't. You can't tell me you weren't afraid."

"But I was... I was terrified. But those children, lost and confused... Simply because their mother did what we both thought was right... I hate that this is the world we live in."

"And that outrage clearly outweighed your fear of any consequences."

He had a point... Chiasa wasn't thinking about herself at all in that moment, but them... Something in her had snapped that night... Too many years of pushing it all down, she guessed.

"Yes... Yes, I suppose you're right," she said, "But it was an anomaly. You still probably go about this stuff every day like it's nothing. Maybe some people think it's stupid... But I admit... I think it's admirable."

The truth was, she took comfort in those rebel cell stories. Even if she couldn't do anything, there were people that could, and did out there. She felt herself flush at her words, although she didn't know why. Maybe she was simply coming down from her emotional state, finally getting to say these things out loud.

Or maybe it was the way Plutarch beamed at her words. Such a natural smile was such a rarity, and adorable. Forty years off the face, not forty light years

"Thank you. That's kind of you to say," he replied, "However... Right now I know you're capable. Who knows what might happen in the future..."

It was nice of him to believe in her, even if that was a little too much faith in her opinion. Maybe that was it... People didn't often assume the best of her anymore. Even in the past, her mother in particular wished she'd think beyond beauty and frivolity "for once... Good people have much better things to think about."

"I suppose that's nice to have that kind of faith in people, but I don't know if I'd hold out for me."

"Not people, you. Maybe not in the present," he said, "But your actions told me otherwise."

"Because I simply did the right thing and helped?"

"And just now, when you told me how much you hate Snow and his bloodlust. Maybe I won't see you taking up arms, buy you care about others, Chiasa. You have the spark. It's a real shame that you've had to keep it to yourself. But right now, right here, you don't have to. You're safe.

You're safe.... You're safe.... You're safe....

Those last two words kept echoing in Chiasa's mind. She'd heard them many times in her life but hadn't been inclined to believe it. So many had tried to tell her how the Capitol was an oasis, yet she'd seen and heard about a lot of messed up nonsense that went on behind closed doors... The dirty deals, the deaths, the pressure.... And she hadn't even gotten into the few times her father spoke of the late war... Simple proof that the outside world couldn't be ignored forever. With the whispers and Katniss's influence... Maybe such a thing was coming a second time... In a few years, maybe.

"Am I?" she asked, "Am I truly?"

Plutarch hesitated, but thankfully was simply pondering again. What was going in that pretty little head of his.... If he was even more aware than she was, how was he not broken by then? What motivated this much rage that called him to action rather than fear. Or was it passion? Both? Even having spent a few minutes with him, Chiasa was woman enough to admit she was wrong about Plutarch Heavensbee. The man was far from boring... Intriguing was the better word now.

"As safe as I can keep you," he replied seriously, "Which is more than I can say for the Capitol... Having to keep your mouth shut to stay alive. I'll say that you don't have to keep your thoughts to yourself while you're in here."

"How refreshing... An honest answer," she remarked, "I guess you picked up that I know when people are trying to sell paradise."

"If you'll pardon the expression, people your age are either completely fooled by illusion or all too aware of how things truly are.

"You're pardoned. Once," she quipped, "You're spot on there... And I suppose you're young enough to still be optimistic.

Plutarch laughed... Somehow the hearty sound relaxed her. Those contagious laughs were just the best; always better than a forced guffaw at some terrible joke.

"Pleased with yourself?" he asked, still smiling.

"That's a loaded question.... In the moment, I guess. I'm pleased with you too... You know, there is something I really want to know."

"What's that, Chiasa?"

"The black... Is it a sort of protest against frivolity? Mourning for humanity? Or simply your color?" she asked.

Chiasa adored bright colors as much as the next Capitolite, but she had to admire people who pulled off simple black. There were too many who looked standoffish or desperate... But those who could pull it off were something special. Plutarch had always been one of them, no matter what she may have thought about him in the past.

"A bit of both, perhaps," he quipped, "I still don't think there's anything wrong with a little bit of indulgence... Life would be terribly dull otherwise."

"Oh, I agree completely..."

She spotted a familiar wicked gleam in his eye... Something she'd recognized in a lit of men. It had to be the lighter mood, but did it matter? Plutarch was cute of course, but now he had that air of mystery, intelligence, and valiance about him. What a combination indeed... It wouldn't hurt to brush his hand a bit... Or maybe his leg. Maybe she could find an excuse to fix his hair or vest...

No, no... That would be too forward. The focus should be on herself at first. If it weren't so damned cold out, she would have forgone the wool tights under her skirt. If only she had her purse... She could reapply her lipstick. No matter, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear would do the trick... His smile widened, even if only for a second. Maybe a subtle lick of the lips would do...

What on earth was she doing? She should have some decorum.... No matter what was going on, this was Marcus's boss. She had to change the subject and be boring and proper.... Maybe she didn't feel too bad.... Plutarch had done nothing to appear uncomfortable or stop her. She'd behave herself for now... Maybe she could test the waters later. After all, her nephew didn't know about all her flings, and he certainly didn't need to.

"It's sad we haven't really talked until now," she said.

"I'm sure the rumor mills are to blame, feeding us both lies about each other," he replied, "But now we know."

Before Chiasa could reply, Julius had wandered back into the room and pointed to his wrist. Plutarch in turn checked his pocket watch and sighed in frustration.

"I'm afraid I have to cut this short, I'm due for another meeting," he said.

"Aww... And we were really getting somewhere," she said, "Business, pleasure, or other business."

"That's classified. You know.... In two days, my schedule is clear after 5," he suggested, "You could come by again if you wish."

"After today? It's no question... I'm so intrigued that I must."

Plutarch had indeed become more interesting and dashing overnight... It was rare Chiasa met a man she wanted to scrutinize on the inside as well as the outside, especially in this day and age... It was definitely rare to find one who wanted to hear what she really thought... Not only did he not judge her, but he encouraged her opinions. He'd told her she was safe. Just this once, she believed it. What an oddly... Joyful? Exciting? Beautiful? Well... Positive feeling for sure.

Plutarch insisted on showing her out himself and all was returned as promised. He'd offered his hand as a polite gesture, but now.... A shake seemed too formal. She lightly squeezed it and he reciprocated with a smile before she turned to leave.

Chiasa wasn't sure to expect at their next meeting, but one thing was for certain... This time, rather than dread, she counted down the minutes in anticipation.

[moon-and-seraph]

Camp NaNo Writeblr Directory

This is a directory of writeblrs participating in Camp Nano of April 2023. We hope to help writers find new friends to cheer each other on and offer accountability throughout the month!

How does the directory work?

Step 1: — You'll create a new post based on the template later in this post. (Don't reblog this post with your post attached. You'll want to create an entirely new one so it doesn't get too long and difficult to read.) Step 2: — Title your post "Camp Nano Directory: (type your username here, without the parentheses)" Step 3: — Add the hashtag "MS: campers of 04-2023" to it. This is the directory part, so it's how people will be able to find your post. Make sure to add this or no one will be able to find you! Step 4: — Share your post as soon as you're ready! We recommend posting before Camp Nano begins, but you're welcome to write a post for this directory any time before April, all the way through April 30th. Step 5: — Browse other writers' posts here to find writing buddies!

Please link back to this post somewhere in your directory post (the title is a good spot!). That way, anyone who finds it can easily learn about this directory and join it too!

Learn how to create links here.

You can take a look at one of our directory posts here if you'd like an example!

Template

Camp Nano Directory: your username

— Share a bit about yourself — Keep this to 1-3 sentences. It can be personal or strictly related to writing, whatever you're most comfortable with!

— What kind of stories do you like to read? — Share what genres, themes, aesthetics, etc., that you like to read. This will allow others' to know if you'd like the project they're working on for Camp.

— Goal(s) — Share your goals for Camp Nano! This can be word count, time count, page count, whatever you choose.

— Camp Project Title — If you'll be working on multiple projects, simply copy this section and the following two and paste them below your answers for your first project.

— Project Description — Try to keep this to 5 sentences or less!

— WIP-related Art — This is completely optional, but if you have some WIP-related art you'd like to share, put it here! (Please use alt text and only share 1 piece of art to keep the post brief and easy to read.)

[trolagygirl2022]

hiii girlie 💗 I'd like to participate in your game. the question changed a bit but thats what came through when i was channeling lol

what it will be like to be with your future spouse:

the lovers, 2 of cups, the devil, 3 of cups, page of cups, the fool, 4 of swords, high priestess, the magician, 3 of wands, 2 of wands.

using he/him pronouns bc you guys are for sure that cute ass high priestess + magician couple lmao.

his overall energy is VERY refreshing, like diving into the pool on a hot day. i feel like thats what it would feel like to be in a relationship with him as well, waking up next to him every day and just seeing him gives you energy for the day and the same goes for him, you give him the energy he needs for the day. no matter how tired you were, sleeping in his arms and you feel WELL RESTED. this turns you guys into that magician and priestess couple, it just makes you work harder and become better at what you do for work yk? loving him makes you feel closer to god in a sense (if you believe in all that yk)

however, the downside to all this is in that devil card: without him, you have no energy. you guys become EXTREMELY codependent on eachother like i can picture in the early stages of dating you sleep beside him once and you cant sleep on your own again 😭 you guys are FOR SURE never ever ever breaking up lmao (at least thats how he feels). the 2 and 3 of wands indicate you both probably plan your days around each other and plan your futures with eachother, the 3 of cups giving "i wanna spend every birthday, christmas, new years, halloween etc. with you".with the fool there as well this is probably something you knew early on in your relationship perhaps even the moment you met, ik a lot of men know very early on what they think of women like "will this just be a one night thing or will i marry this girl?" and he knew FOR SURE that this is it for him ‼️

a few extra thoughts: "i gotta find peace of mind" by ms lauryn hill (he is your peace of mind basically), that one street interview where that guy is all defensive until he realizes the interviewer asked how he and his wife met then hes excited to talk about her 😭, jude bellingham, milo manheim type looks, yall read together, "in the cut w my twin we be vibing" lol, cottagecore couple vibes

please dont feel obligated to reciprocate the amount i wrote, your man is a yapper when it comes to you 😭 hes giving very air/mercurial energy, maybe gemini or libra mercury/venus? hes very romantic with his words

Thank you so much for this!! Here's your reading.

Your future spouse:

2 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, The Hierophant, 7 of Swords rev.

Your future spouse is someone who is very honest. They hate liars and untruthful people. I see them having this "just" mindset. They might have some traditional values that they believe in and like to practice. Could be religious or have some sort of beliefs that tie to it. They probably grew up experiencing the harder side of life and so they've always wanted to change the system and how it is. They always want to make things right. I see them as someone that fights for others. They can be quite protective as well. I'm picking up on something tense here, that could just be their energy. They like to make positive changes in their community. So if they grew up in a bad area, they would want to help repair it, stuff like that. A very selfless soul that advocates for the rights of others! They definitely have some Libra/Leo energy, maybe some Aquarius too.

[atenea14]

Chapter 2: Web of Hearts

In the Wake of Heroes

Soulmates AU

Pairing: Katsuki x Eijiro x Shoto x Izuku x OC (not physically described though)

Warnings: Season 7 spoilers, events of the anime not represented accurately, soulmates AU, slow burn, not beta read, nothing else for now.

Word count: 2,5k

Divider from: @saradika

Previous chapter Masterlist

Comments or any interaction is appreciated

While Saya had left in the arms of Katsuki accompanied by the rest of the boys, the adults gathered there stood still in silence and confusion for a couple of minutes, almost as if they were in denial of what they had witnessed. Finally the movement of the medical staff brought them out of their stupor. Mitsuki shared a long look with her husband before speaking. 

You’re that girl’s father right?- Her question brought the attention of a black haired man that was pinching his nose with two fingers, he looked at her and extended his hand. 

- Yukine Renji - Mitsuki reciprocated the handshake and presented herself and her husband. 

- We’re the parents of Katsuki. - 

- By your features I guess we’re talking about the boy who was carrying Saya.- 

- That’s right. - Renji nodded and turned to face another one of the parents. 

- Todoroki Enji. - Pleasantries were exchanged again and another uncomfortable silence followed. 

- So… are we going to address the matter or… - Mitsuki was the one taking the initiative again but only received a shrug from Endeavour and a sigh from Renji. 

- Good evening, I’m Aizawa Shota, I’ve also witnessed it. I’m a teacher at UA and I tutor the class where these boys study. I’m not sure if the school or me can be of any help for the families but please let us know if we can do something. - Gratitude was expressed.

- Thank you Aizawa but this is too recent for us to be able to do something, let alone some parents are still missing.-

- Yukine is right, we should warn Inko and Kirishima’s parents. I can go find Inko, she’s also in the hospital.- 

- Do you know Kirishima’s parents too, Ms Bakugou? - Endeavour asked. 

- No, I don’t have a relationship with them.- 

- I believe they're also in the hospital, I’ll ask what Kirishima's room is and ask them to come. - 

- I’ll call my wife.- 

- Should we all meet in the cafeteria? We may be a bother in the middle of a corridor.- Everybody agreed at Renji’s suggestion and after 20 minutes they were all seated. 

- Uhm… Can you tell me what this is about?- 

- Yes, we’d also like to know.- Inko and Kirishima’s parents needed to be filled in. Some sights were heard. 

- I believe our sons are soulmates.- Mitsuki was as blunt as always. 

- Really? Izuku-chan and Katsuki-kun? But… How has the bond been activated now? They have known each other since forever. - 

- No, no I meant… All of our sons are soulmates.- This time Mitsuki made a circular movement with her arm signalling to all the presents. Some parents needed reaffirmation and after another uncomfortable silence and some whispering Kirishima’s parents talked. 

- We’re Eijiro’s parents and we’re aware that Shoto, Bakugou and Midoriya’s parents are here too but we don’t believe we’ve seen you before sir, does your son also study at UA?.- 

- Apologies, I should've presented myself first. I’m Yukine Renji, and Saya, my daughter, does not study at UA. She’s the girl who entered mid fight in the aerial coffin. - 

- She was really brave, I believe her participation was crucial in the war. - Renji softly smiled at Inko. 

- It was, and now she’s also helping with some heroes' recovery. - 

- She’s a good girl. - The man replied curtly with a nod. 

- That’s amazing, aren’t you happy about this Yukine?- He lightly tilted his head and looked directly at Kirishima’s father. 

- I’m proud of her but… I just wished the situation was different. - Kirishima’s father nodded at this.

- I can understand the feeling.- 

- Excuse me for changing the topic but what are we going to do about this situation? - It was the first time Rei spoke that evening. 

- What can we do? If they are soulmates we can’t interfere. - Masaru chimed in. 

- Surely we can do something, it’s not as this is a common soulmate bond. - Kirishima’s mother frowned and gently rested her right hand on her cheek. Masaru also frowned.

- It’s uncommon but not unspoken for, especially in younger generations. I don’t think that the fact that they’re five and not a couple gives us any right to intervene. - Everybody looked genuinely surprised at Endeavour's statement.

- I agree. I’m aware of your concerns because I share them. I know that my daughter is a good girl and I want to believe that your sons are also good. At least I know they are all responsible because of their interventions in this war so I suggest we don’t make any intervention for now and wait to see what the kids want to do. A normal relationship can get really complicated because of the family's intervention but with 5 sets of parents… - Renji didn’t end the phrase but showed a troubled expression. 

- I guess you’re right. - Kirishima’s parents relented. 

- Well, Mr Yukine if our kids decide to have a romantic relationship I promise I’ll be the best mother-in-law.- Mitsuki’s determined expression made Renji smile. 

- You’re going to need to fight for that spot. - Rei’s statement surprised even her husband. 

- I’m not planning on staying behind. - Inko quickly chimed in. 

- Me neither. - Kirishima’s mother brightly smiled while Renji cleared his throat and smiled.

- I appreciate it, a lot. - A nurse suddenly approached them.

- Mr Yukine, we're going to fetch Saya for her appointment. - 

- Thank you, I’ll be there in a moment. - 

- Is she alright? - Rei looked genuinely concerned. 

- She has recovered from her injuries but between the stress of the fight and the endeavour of using her quick to heal she’s still weak. What about the boys? - 

- Eijiro is being sent home in two days. - 

- Izuku still needs to stay. - 

- Shoto needs to stay too.- 

- And Katsuki. - 

- I see, I hope they have a fast recovery. We should exchange contact information later, now if you’ll excuse me I’ll go with Saya. -

Your pain is probably due to over exhaustion so from now on you’ll have to rest in bed after using your quirk but with the new diet, supplements and medical control there should be no further complications. You’ll have to stay in the hospital until we’ve finished treating heroes with your quirk. We’ll schedule the operations depending on your health state but you shouldn’t need to stay here more than a month. 

- A whole month in here? O come on can I not go home between interventions? - 

- Saya is for your health. - Saya side eyed his father.

- We’ll talk about this once we get there. If you have good recovery rates I’ll let you go home, if not you’ll have to stay. Does that work for you Saya? -

- You're making it sound as if I had a choice. - She just sighed and nodded. 

- But you’ll be with Mirko, she will spend more time here than a month. - The girl's eyes shined. 

- You don’t need to send me home. - 

The doctor laughed and left the room. 

- You are incorrigible Saya. - 

- It’s in my genes. - Reiji chuckled. 

- I guess it is. - 

- Aren’t you going to ask me anything? - 

- Do you want to talk about it Saya?- 

- I don't know, it’s really confusing. - 

- You’ve talked with them right? - 

- Uhm… well more liked I had anxiety and cried and they comforted me. - His expression softened.

- I see. Well, they seem to have good families. - 

- What? How do you know? Have you investigated them already? - 

- No, most of the parents witnessed the soul bonding moment so we’ve been talking. - 

- This gets worse by the minute. - Renji looked at the ceiling as if he was talking with someone there. 

- Oh don’t be so dramatic. They have good parents and we’ve decided to not intervene for now so don’t worry about it. - 

- What do you mean for now? - He gave an exasperated sigh and ignored her question. 

- I have to make a couple of calls, I’ll come back later. - 

- No that’s fine, you can go home, it won’t be long until dinner time so don’t worry. -

- Are you sure about this? - 

- Yes, I’ll watch something with my mobile. -

- Okay, I’ll come back tomorrow morning. - 

Saya’s POV: 

Someone knocked at my door when I was about to start eating dinner upon looking I realise they’re here.

- Can we come in? - Izuku gently asks. 

- Oh sure. - I’m a little taken aback upon seeing them with their dinner. 

- We were going to have dinner together and we thought that maybe you would want to join us? - Shoto is the one who clarifies the situation. 

- Yes I’d like to, but there’s no room for all of us in here. -

- The nurses let us use their resting room, they have been spoiling us. - Eijiro cheerfully smiles. 

- That’s great, then let’s go. - I pull the sheet of my legs but before I get up Katsuki speaks. 

- Wait, you shouldn’t be walking. -

- Oh I’m already fine, don't worry I can walk. - Katsuki frowns at my words.

- No you can’t, the nurses have told us to not let you make any efforts. -

- But walking two minutes it’s not an effort. - Katsuki crosses his arms. 

- It is. - Now I’m frowning too. 

- It’s not. - When I’m standing up he gently pushes me down with one hand. 

- Let me carry you. - 

- No, you’re still injured and you are the one who shouldn’t be making an effort. - 

- I’m perfectly able to carry you. - The other three boys were silently watching the interaction not knowing who is more stubborn of the two of you. 

- I’m awar - Eijiro interrupts you. 

- I’ll carry you. I’ve not been sent home because I’m not in the priority list for some final tests but I’m completely fine. - Katsuki pouts and I sigh, surrendering, they won’t let me walk and nod. His smile is contagious so I can’t help it and smile back at him when he picks me up. 

- Thank you.- I look up at him and realise he is already looking at me, our faces just a couple of inches away. 

- You’re welcome. - I chuckle a little when I see blush creeping his cheeks but I’m aware I must look the same. 

Eijiro softly puts me down in one chair, Katsuki helps me by pushing my chair to the table and Shoto places the dinner in front of me while Izuku passes me a glass of water. I can’t help but get a little overwhelmed at all their attention. 

- Thank you guys. - They smiled and reassured me except for Katsuki who tells me to not be a dumbass and that makes me smirk. We start silently having dinner. 

- Soooo… Are we going to talk about this or…? - Eijiro leaves the question hanging in the air. 

- What would you like to discuss? - I’m suddenly nervous and I’m not sure why.

- Well we’re soulmates - I look at Eijiro and smile softly. 

- There’s not much to discuss about it, it’s not like we can do anything about this. - 

- I know… but what are we going to do? Are we… Does this mean that we’re dating now? - Eijiro’s boldness made all of us blush. 

- Have more tact shit hair. - 

- Kacchan stop insulting us. - Their antics always make me smile. 

- I think it’s too soon to define what kind of soulmates we want to be. You’re already friends but I’ve just met you. - 

- So you want to wait some time until we know each other better and then decide? - Shoto is a little stiff, probably because he’s nervous. 

- Yes, I think that’s the best option. - Shoto smiled. 

- I agree. - 

- I don’t mind waiting whatever time to define our relationship - Looking at Katsuki I realise the intensity of his stare towards me. - But I don’t want to have a friendship with my soulmates. - 

- Kacchan what… - 

- No Izuku. Now that the bond is formed I wouldn’t be able to date someone who’s not my soulmate and I won’t bear it if I see any of you with someone else. Do you want to have a friendship now? I’m fine with that. I do want to meet you but I also want to focus on my career so I also think that acting like friends is the best option but keyword, acting. - I look at him with the same intensity, his words have made me really happy. 

- I’d like to reprimand Kacchan for his bluntness but… I’d break my heart to have soulmates and not be in a romantic type relationship. - Izuku grabbed his neck with his hand to soothe his nerves. I smiled at them after hearing Eijiro and Shoto agreeing with them.

- I’d be lying if I said that I disagree with you guys. I couldn’t stand it if you got a girlfriend. Silly right? I just met you but I know I’d get really sad. - 

- I don’t think it is silly. - Eijiro beamed at me. 

- To sum it up, we’ll give ourselves the time we need and we’ll just be friends. Knowing that all of us want to have a romantic soulmate bond in the future. - Shoto was a little bit more relaxed now. 

- Yes, I’m glad we’ve clarified this. - Izuku beamed at me too after hearing me. - Oh, one last thing. Can we keep this to ourselves? I mean I don’t mind if you tell someone in your family or a close friend but I would like to keep the relationship things as private as possible. - 

- I can understand why. - Shoto smiles at me. 

- Yes, our bond is just ours. I’m not giving explanations to extras. - 

- I don’t mind but I don’t get it.- Eijiro tilts his head in confusion. 

- Third parties interventions can make things difficult for us, especially because we have a bond group. That doesn’t mean that we won’t say anything about our relationship but we have to be careful to not overshare. - Eijiro grinned again at Izuku’s explanation, he’s like a golden retriever. 

It was getting late and the nurses started staring at us so once we finished eating we decided to call it a day after exchanging our contact info.

- Izuku-kun? - 

- Ochako-chan! I’m glad to see you. - 

- Me too, we haven’t been granted access to your room until today. I… I’ve heard what happened yesterday, is it true? - Izuku blushed and slightly hid his face with his hand. 

- Ah… yes I’ve found my soulmates. - Ochako got confused. 

- Soulmates? In plural? - 

- Yes! We have a soulmate bond. - She forces a smile.

- I see, with Bakugou-kun and Todoroki-kun?- 

- Yes, but Eiji-kun and Saya-chan are my soulmates too. -

- Saya-chan?- 

- Yes! I’m sure you’ll be friends, she’s great. - Ochako had lost colour in her face

- So there’s a girl in your soulmate group? - Izuku frowned at her expression.

- Yes, what’s wrong?- She tries to hide her feelings by putting on a smile. 

- Oh nothing! I’m glad for you. Now I’ll let you rest, you look tired. - 

- It’s ten in the morning, I'm not… Ochako-chan? - Izuku is completely puzzled and tries to go after her but his wounds aren’t completely healed and he can’t catch her. And that’s why Shoto finds him panting and resting against a wall in the middle of a hallway.

- What’s wrong?- 

- I have no idea Shoto-

AN: The most oblivious boys of the group are going to handle this weird situation. What could go wrong?

[leopardwrangling101]

What about setting intentions. You want things to change, you need to convince yourself that they can change, that they are changeable.

Intentions sometimes help with that.

Setting intentions is a balancing act, there’s an art to tricking the brain this way and it’s about time you tricked your brain with how often your brain tricks you.

Because your brain does. It tricks you into thinking bad things quite often, that you’re not enough or not important, or not as absolutely amazing as you actually are. So, time for some payback.

Intention setting basics

They have to be positive (the words No or not are to be avoided)

They have to be present tense (the brain gives a lot of push back to the future tense)

You have to believe it, feel it, really want to connect to the intention. (Don’t be wishy washy about it)

That last one is the hard one. So here’s a little help.

Get a bag of jelly beans or m&ms or gummy bears or whatever candy you like, it just has to come in different colors. If it comes in different colored wrappers that works too. If you don’t like or don’t or can’t eat candy, pick something you can or like to eat that comes in different colors, fruit, vegetables, or add a little food coloring to a glass of water, whatever it takes.

What color?

Here you have options. Colors have meanings. They have cultural meanings, social meanings, religious meanings, psychological meanings. They have personal meanings too.

So this is a double down on the believing the intention thing.

You pick something that is a color associated with the intention.

You can look up color meanings or you can assign them yourself.

You’re about to trick your brain, you are in control here.

If yellow makes you think of happy things and your intention is I wake up every morning an active participant in a happy life, you hit that with the yellow color and the taste of the yellow thing and you hit the brain with a triple tap…Happy Happy Happy

If pink makes you think of love and your intention is I love everything about myself, you hit that with the pink color and the taste of the pink thing and once again…triple tap….Love Love Love

Get the idea?

Give the brain some pay back. All those unhappy thoughts, those self destructive or defeating thoughts, those negative thoughts, those anxious thoughts - push back.

Set an intention, pick a color, and then feel it, see it, taste it and let your brain know you’re in charge for a minute.

You want another tap? Want to give the brain four signals instead of three? Wear some thing that color whenever you want to remind yourself of the intention.

Another? Getting a little greedy. But that’s okay. I feel you. Use the mindfulness exercise Notice. Set your brain to noticing the color, every time that color appears in your field of vision notice it. Just think to yourself a couple times, today I will notice (color) and then the focus will come in to place and you will spot the color all the time, and since you’ve tied that color to your intention, there’s the tap. Love, Peace, Happy, Joy, Content, whatever the feeling is, the intention, the thought that’s important to you, every single time.

Still more? Okay, one more. Think about your color and how it feels. Does it feel warm? Cold? Soft? Squishy? Find something that feels that way. Hit the brain with the thought, the sight, the taste, the repetition, and the touch.

Really? Not enough? Okay, okay. One more. What does that color sound like? Is there a song or a piece of music that makes you think about that color or that feeling that you associate with the color? Is there a shorter sound like a chime or a bird or a bug that makes a noise and you think of that emotion or feeling or color? Play it. Hit the brain with the thought, the sight, the taste, the repetition, the touch, and the sound. Overwhelm the brain with the feeling. Every sense that sends a note to the brain engaged.

Be positive about it, be present, and then feel it. Use every thing you can to help as needed.

A multicultural perspective on the meaning of colors: https://www.color-meanings.com/color-symbolism-different-cultures/

A magic perspective on color: https://www.colorsexplained.com/color-magic-meanings/

A resource on the psychology of color: https://www.colorpsychology.org/

[oldcoffeeart]

Chapter 2: Reunion

CW: Anorexia, Mild blood, Bullying

Brook could feel her blood run cold as that voice rang out. That sweet, soft, and cursed voice. Savannah. It's been years since Brook spoke to her, thought about her, or saw her. But that voice brought so much back to her, so much she thought she had killed and buried. Rachel and Alicia looked at her, confusion on their faces. Brook had mentioned her old friend briefly but besides that she didn't say much about her. Brook needed to act though, say something to get this ghost of her past away.

Brook turned to face the girl and she could feel her resolve crumble seeing that angel face. She looked so soft and innocent, how Brook looked years ago. Brook forced the words from her mouth. "Who are you?"

Savannah's smile faded, her tail wagging slowed. "It's me, Savannah. I just moved here." Brook crossed her arms. "And…? Look I'm sure you're nice and all but I think you have me confused for someone else." Savannah's excited smile completely faded, her shoulders slouching. "Oh." She muttered. The muffled laughter around them made Brook's eye twitch, fuck how she hated that laughter. Brook placed a hand on Savannah's shoulder, whispering in her ear. "Meet me at lunch alright. By the vending machines." The look in those innocent eyes was enough to make Brook want to melt. She couldn't, never again. 

Savannah shakily stepped away, returning to the two girls she had left behind in her excitement. Brook turned back to her own friends who looked at her in curiosity. She spoke just loud enough for them to hear. "In a moment, let's get out of this crowd." Rachel nodded, gently pulling the confused Alicia with her. Once alone by their lockers Alicia spoke. "So what was that? Who was she? Did you really not know her? What did you-" Rachel wrapped a hand around Alicia's muzzle. "One question at a time. Let Brook breathe." Alicia looked up at Rachel, pulling her muzzle away. "Okay okay, I was just curious. I have never seen her before."

Savannah sighed as she thought over her friend's question. "Brooklyn was my best friend. My only friend back in Montana." Lina hummed quietly, laughing a little. "So Ms. Queen Bee was a homeschooled freak. No offense to you Savvy." Savannah sighed a little. "She never used to act like that." Genny shugged. "I'm sorry to say but Brook has always been like that." Savannah sighed. "Where did that even come from? Brooklyn never went by Brook." Lina shugged. "People change Savvy." Savannah sighed, crossing her arms. "Yeah I… suppose so."

Rachel looked down at Brook, her expression unreadable. Alicia was far easier to read, her eyebrows knit. "Why did you ignore her then? She seems really nice." Rachel looked over at Savannah. "She wouldn't fit in." She stated. Brook nodded, her eyes closing. "Exactly. She'd be too innocent for this anyway." Alicia watched quietly, absent mindlessly pulling at her dress. "So you're just going to pretend not to know her? Couldn't you be friends outside of school?" Brook shook her head. "No, it'd be less painful for us both if I just told her to stick with those two." Rachel held Brook's shoulder. "Do you want us to… keep her safe from the sidelines?" Brook looked up at her, that would be a fair trade off. "Yes." Alicia smiled, squirming a little as the bell rang. "Oh! Looks like it's time to go."

Savannah was pulled along by Genny to their shared class. Upon arriving Savannah sat with Genny at the front of class. "So for summer we were assigned to read "The Great Gatsby". I don't think you're going to need to take the test but Mr. Collins might want you to read it so you can participate." Savannah smiled a little. "Oh I read it before, I should be okay." Genny nodded as the teacher began class. He introduced himself and what the class would be about. Savannah's mind couldn't help but wonder, what happened to her old friend? Why was she like that? Savannah's nail drifted up to her mouth, her teeth biting down on it. It broke off easily enough but her mind wouldn't stop bombarding her with anxiety filled ideas. She moved to her next nail, then the next, and then… nothing. Her teeth were met with fur and skin. Her pointer finger was starting to ache, she could taste a mild amount of blood on her tongue. 

Mildly panicked she pulled her hand away, wrapped her finger in her skirt. Next to her, Genny seemed bored. Not paying attention to Savannah nor the class. Mr. Collins seemed inraptured in his own speech. In front of her Savannah noticed a pile of papers. It would seem that Mr. Collins was talking about them. Savannah's eyes glazed over the requirements for class, the different sections of lessons, and finally where she and a parent needed to sign. She retrieved a pencil from her backpack, quietly taping it against her paw three times before signing the paper. 

Genny, meanwhile, had fallen asleep. She was snoring ever so softly. Savannah's attention turned back to Mr Collins. “Now who can tell me what the main theme of “The Great Gatsby” was?” Savannah raised her paw, a smile on her face. Mr. Collins seemed surprised, glancing around the room briefly before calling on her. “Yes Ms. Reed?” Savannah rested her paws in her lap. “The American dream, every character calls into question how we view America's wealth and poverty and the story as a whole is a critical look into the notion as a whole.” She answered, her tail wagging behind her. Mr. Collins smiled, nodded in acceptance. “Very good Ms. Reed. I might have to give you that summer test after all.” Savannah smiled with pride, though that was quickly dashed as she heard laughter around her. “Fuckin teacher's pet.”

“Maybe you can give Ms. Ryan some of that work effort.” Beside her Genny jerked up, a trail of saliva down her chin. “Wha?” Mr. Collins sighed, shaking his head before going back to his lecture. Through the day Savannah had very similar experiences. She would answer a question only to be shot down with laughter and muttering. Lina shot Genny a smile, her arm wrapped around Savannah's soldiers. “Genny, we adopted ourselves a complete nerd. Looks like we're gonna have a nice easy ride.” Genny rolled her eyes, laughing softly. “Oh come on, you know that's not why you like her.” Savannah's smile couldn't quite reach her eyes. She assumed, hoped, that they were both joking. Lina gave Savannah a squeeze before pulling away. “C'mon it's time to eat.” 

Savannah's eyes drifted to the vending machines, chewing on her lower lip. “I'll be there in a moment.” Genny looked at her, crossing her arms. “Savvy, it's not a good idea.” Lina nodded. “You can't say for sure if she'll even show up.” Savannah rubbed her shoulder. “I… want to see what she has to say.” Lina sighed, their eyes closing. “Alright, we can't make you come. Just be careful.” Savannah nodded, Genny patted her arm. “I'll save you something to eat.” Savannah smiled shakily. “Thank you.”

On the opposite side of school, Brook was panicking. She hung over the bathroom sink, slow breaths leaving her mouth. Deep in her stomach she felt sick, it would have risen to her mouth had she eaten that morning. She turned on the sink faucet, cupped her hand under the flowing water and poured it down her throat. School water was always gross, but right now it was the best option for her. Once it was down she lifted her head, swallowing the nothing on her tongue. Her ears folded backwards as she stared at the ceiling. 

God how she felt like a middle school meeting up with her crush for the first time.

The thought made her jolt, her fur standing on end as she looked into the mirror. “No.” She announced to herself before turning to leave. She hit her forehead with her paw pads, cursing to herself. Outside the bathroom her boyfriend, well not really her boyfriend, was standing there. His name is Sage. Objectively he's handsome, beautiful blue eyes, perfect fur, a heart melting smile… he really is a perfect cover for school. Sage leaned against the wall, picking out dirt from his nails. He looked over at Brook, a smile curling up his lips. “All good?” Brook nodded, sighing. “Yeah, you look gay doing that.” Sage huffed, rolling his eyes. “Oh that's great coming from you.” Brook laughed dryly. The laugh was enough to make her grimace. It was enough for Sage to place a hand on her shoulder. “What's wrong?” Brook smirked at him. “Worried about your girl now?” He didn't smile back, his expression firm and worried. “Brook.” She let out a breath, placing a hand on top of his. “She's here.” 

Sage couldn't help but make a sound of pain, his body physically reacting to that. Childhood crushes that never ended, that's the one pain he could always understand. Gay ones, that just pulled on a part of him that's extra tender. Sage pulled his friend to the floor, sitting them both down. “Tell me about it?” Brook shook her head, her lips pressed together. “Not here, you never know who could hear.” He nodded, folding his paws in his lap. “What are you going to do?” Brook rested her head on his shoulder. “Get her away. I'm going to talk to her at lunch.” Sage hummed quietly. “So now?” She nodded. He pulled her up. “Go on, sitting like this will only make you think about it more.” Brook looked up at him before pulling herself up to her feet. “Talk to you later then, wish me luck.” Sage laughed quietly. “Yeah yeah, now go you silly lesbian.” Brook flipped him off, a playful smile on her lips as she left.

Savannah leaned against the vending machines, her nails having met with her teeth again. Savannah looked up as she heard paw steps. There she is.

Brook looked at the canine infront of her. Big, innocent eyes and fur that looks silky-smooth. It was, Brook knew it was. Her paw twitched by her side, all she wanted was to draw her hand through that fur again and-

“Brookie?” Savannah asked, she felt vulnerable under her gaze. Here was her old friend and she wasn't anything she knew. So cold, her expression looked foreign on her face. Brook let out a breath, crossing her arms. “Why are you here?” Savannah blinked dumbly. “You… asked me to meet you here?” Brook paused. “Yes I mean, here, at OCD. Why are you at this school?” Savannah looked away, shrugging. “My family moved here and they thought this school seemed the best for me. All the after school stuff and the amount of people who continue to college.” Brook's tail flicked behind her. “Well, focus on that then. It's for the best if we don't talk.” She said, gesturing between them both. Savannah sunk into her sweater, unable to look her in the eyes. “Why?” Her voice was hardly loud enough to be heard. “We're best friends forever.” 

Brook closed her eyes. “Not anymore Savannah. I don't want you getting into the shit I'm in.” Savannah held onto her own sweater's slaves. “You're not my mom.” Brook let out a slow, hiss of a breath. “I know what's best.” Savannah shook her head looking up at Brook. “No.” Brook placed a hand on her shoulder, offering the canine a ghost of a smile. “Savannah, please. Take this as the last thing I'm doing as your friend.” Savannah pushed her hand away, her lips pulling back in a grimace. “That's a bunch of shit. What happened to you? You're not the Brooklyn I knew.” Brook's paw closed before getting shoved to her side. “I grew up.” Savannah looked up at her, her eyebrows knit. “You let the world twist you into someone you're not.” Brook's ears folded backwards, shoveling her finger into Savannah's shoulder. “I became who I had to be.” 

Savannah shoved her hand away. Brook gripped onto Savannah's wrists, pinning her hands over her head. Savannah looked up at her, not fighting though she was un-wavered. Her voice became quieter. “You didn't have too, I was right there.” Brook's hands tightened around her wrists. “You weren't.” Savannah breathed quietly. “I would have done anything for you, I still would.” Brook pulled herself away, her paws curled into fists. “That's the issue. Just let go, Savannah.” She left before Savannah could call back, her shoulders bumping against Genny. Lina hissed at her, holding onto Genny's shoulder.  “Fucking watch it!” Brook flipped the other feline off before continuing to leave. “What the hell was that?” Genny asked, watching as she stabilized two trays full of food. Savannah sighed quietly. “I wish I knew.”

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