#movingly

[obrazkovepribehy]

[primepaginequotidiani]

PRIMA PAGINA Daily Mirror di Oggi lunedì, 17 marzo 2025

[asurrogateblog]

thoughts on broken china

[fragmentedblade]

Goodness, apparently Argenti's One and Only is named in Chinese after Rocinante, which is so fitting for him, especially with Himeko's words about him in mind

[hawkepockets]

actually. 🫷😀🫸 THOUGHTS ON AVELINE

i think aveline is a CORE da2 character, and her relationship with hawke is super super interesting. she’s hawke’s oldest friend in the game & by act 3, maybe the only enduring connection to their homeland & childhood besides the mabari. her voice, her bearing, her stated values are all very noble & movingly fereldan—but her actions both as guard captain & as a party member should be so profoundly disappointing to hawke almost no matter how you play them, which generates a powerful tension. imo it’s really poignant and adds a lot to the game’s central tragedy.

because how can hawke cut her off! but look at how she behaves: ignoring the serial killing & sexual assault of isolated older women and elf girls, baiting the arishok, slut shaming isabela, condescending to merrill. but how can they cut her off? the question is a privilege and a torment!

in this way i think she strikingly complements gamlen. like no matter what gamlen does and says to you, your love interest, leandra, the surviving hawke twin—he’s family and the only way into kirkwall. hawke is not permitted to sever those ties. and no matter what aveline does and says to you and all the women in your party, she remains your oldest friend and the only way back to ferelden, emotionally.

both aveline & gamlen will maintain a warm relationship with hawke as long as hawke tolerates their picking on those in proximity to hawke—but if hawke pushes back with aggressive dialogue options, both will tone match and became sour and hostile. aveline can be really quite awful to a red hawke, and will throw them to the ground and beat them at 100% rivalry. so there’s kind of an underlying challenge in both of these characters: how much will hawke, as gang leader & player character, put up with when it’s not directed at them?

of course, for all the nostalgia that seems to occlude av’s wrongdoings in kirkwall, she’s not really a childhood friend of hawke’s. she was a grown woman when they met, lothering was lost, and the moment was pretty heated thanks to aveline’s hostile templar husband.

and yet hawke is no more reliable & objective in their treatment of the past than varric is. and aveline is what they have! she’s standing in for all of ferelden, all of the past before the blight!

and likewise hawke for her! hawke is the only one left in act 3 who remembers wesley! aveline is the only one who remembers the dead hawke twin!

and as reprehensible as some of her decisions are, aveline’s grief for wesley and her enmity toward the old corrupt guard captain are sympathetic and her voice is sexy and husky and beautiful enough that. well im sorry i just lost the plot for a minute. uh

there’s also the act 3 subplot of the templars trying to take over the city guard, which sets up aveline as the only thing standing between kirkwall’s mages & absolute templar authority in the city. it’s literally her or cullen at his most brainwashed & violent. (to cullen’s credit he also thought it was a bad idea. but i won’t give him so much credit that i believe he’d turn down the position if aveline was removed.) between a knight-commander and a hard place, a pro-mage hawke has to choose the hard place.

so both of my playthroughs i’ve felt like hawke’s friendship with her is at the very least strained, if not completely ruptured, but they have to back her. how much that feels like fucking sandpaper may vary from hawke to hawke.

ultimately i just think she brings a lot to the table. i don’t necessarily understand why she’d be anyone’s all time #1 favorite companion, but you know.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Instinct (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer explains the biology of sex to Reader during the act. Request: Spencer Reid explaining what happens to your body during an orgasm while giving you one 🥵 Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Fingering, biological processes, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, mild degradation/dumbification Word Count: 1k

MASTERLIST

When you find yourself in Spencer’s bed, there is no time to wonder what led you there. You have no interest in debating it, either. Your attention is diverted, devoted to more pressing things—things like the feel of his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck.

You’d never even allowed yourself to wonder what instinct drove you straight into his arms… not until his mouth shifts to your ear.

“Do you want to know why you’re really here?” he asks.

You nod before you’ve even considered the question.

This was the correct answer, and he rewards you by sneaking a hand between your thighs.

“You’re here because I want you to be,” he says, “and humans are, at their core, simple animals acting on the same instinct as everything else.”

You try to focus on the words he’s saying but you’re too caught up in how beautiful his voice sounds. You are also distracted by his fingers that gently cup your heat.

He pauses, his chest heaving with excitement as he taunts, “You wanna feel good, right?”

You try to nod, but he’s already speaking.

“I know, sweetheart.”

Mercifully, two fingers slide between slick folds. Your back arches forward, seeking to feel the weight of his body but he stays too far away.

He just watches you with a clever smirk. Your stomach tenses under the lustful gaze, but you say nothing.

It’s the right answer.

“You know, your brain actually changes when I touch you like this,” he chuckles.

His fingers continue to trace the outline of your heat but fail to breach the entrance. He is movingly entirely too slow and seems to be taking far too much pleasure in your squirming. 

“The part of your brain that dictates your values and how to make decisions… that’s long gone.”

You know you’re supposed to nod, but you whimper, instead.

“No fear, no anxiety, no pain,” he hums, “your mind can only focus on one thing…”

“Please,” you beg.

He punishes your interruption by sinking both fingers into you without warning.

“Me,” he confirms, “All you can think about is how to get me to keep touching you like this.”

You cry out for him, reach for him like a tether.

He more than lets you. He revels in your nails digging into his skin.

“Your heart and lungs are working so hard, but they can’t keep up.”

Spencer’s motions are faster, his fingers thrusting into you with a ruthless pace. Exactly as he said, you are gasping for air between desperate moans.

But he just prattles on, still sporting that dark, almost condescending smirk.

“Do you want to know why your thalamus is active during sex? It’s because it helps integrate memories. Memories about touch and those secret last-second thoughts just before you fall apart.”

You can’t focus enough to even try to conjure a fantasy beyond his fingers that you are figuratively and literally wrapped around.

He has you exactly where he wants you at the precipice of oblivion. Only then does he remove his fingers and drags them over the swollen pearl at your crest.

“What are you thinking about?” he teases.

“You,” you gasp.

It’s the right answer.

Spencer is quick to kiss you, his lips crashing against yours while his fingers feverishly stroke at the most sensitive part of you. His tongue sneaks between your teeth until you feel there is no part of you he hasn’t claimed.

You sob against his lips while your body writhes beneath him. You tremble with tension and overwhelming relief until you collapse back into the bed.

Spencer, though, seems unfazed by your exhaustion. Instead, he pulls his hand back and continues his lecture despite your glazed-over eyes.

“Now you’re here. Dopamine is rushing through your body. You might think it’s just about pleasure, but you’re actually learning.”

He stalks closer, crawling over your half-limp body. His eyes are still burning with that same predatory look.

“Right now your body is telling you that I know how to fulfill your needs and it’s trying to figure out how to make sure I’ll do it again and again and again.”

With the same hand he used to touch you, Spencer touches himself.

“But see, this is where it happens. These formative moments when you’re nothing but a blissful mess, that’s how I make sure you come back to my bed.”

He lines himself up against aching folds. He groans at the nearly formed wetness, but he hesitates to push forward.

“Right now your body is begging you to find someone, anyone to take care of you,” he says with great satisfaction. “This is the most important moment, when your blood coursing with dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, and prolactin…”

Then, right before he fills you past your breaking point, he chuckles against your lips.

“This is where you fall in love.”

As if on command, your body clings to him. You wrap all your limbs around him and try to bring him closer somehow.

But he’s already too close. Each time his hips crash into yours, you can feel him bottom out with an almost euphoric jolt of pain.

You can feel it, the truth in everything he’s said. His skin burns into yours as your heart struggles to keep up with the slew of sensations. Your chest, face, and neck are on fire, and he seems dedicated to trying to quell that heat with feverish lips.

After what feels like forever and not nearly long enough, he fucks you even harder. His teeth sink into your neck and the almost-pain makes you shiver.

“Do it again,” he growls against bruised skin, “Come for me.”

With a particularly brutal thrust, he fills you until you have no other choice. Your body snaps, seizes around him and begs him to reward you one final time.

You feel the gentle waves of warmth, the heavy throbbing of his cock as he joins you in the bliss. Your bodies begin to slow from frantic motions until you are left cradled in an exhausted embrace.

Spencer moves just enough to be able to kiss you, soft and slow and without any hint of pain.

And you know that… is exactly why you're there.

(Tell me what you thought about this fic here!)

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Thanks for reading!

[halyasgirl]

This is just my personal reading, but I think Ethari is a very interesting, and morally greyer, character than he's generally perceived as.

He's kinder than his husband, gentler, more open-minded; and he holds the exact same values that led Runaan to try and murder a child.

He knows what Runaan does is evil. He knows it takes a toll on him, on their marriage. But he believes it is necessary evil, and comforts Runaan with that when his husband shows the slightest flicker of self-awareness some doubts.

Runaan and Ethari once again manage to demonstrate they are deeply, movingly in love, while simultaneously revealing some pretty questionable cultural values. This isn't a knee-jerk “stand by your man,” either. It's not an accident they're so well-matched despite their different personalities; Ethari believes in this just as much as Runaan.

He made Runaan beautiful, deadly weapons Runaan used to kill other people. He Ghosted 3/4 of his family. He told his 15-year-old daughter her father's blood was on her hands, which f*cked her up at least as much as the Ghosting.

However, I don’t want to judge him too harshly. I’d only be so rational days after living with the knowledge that my husband was likely tortured to death, and I think this is just as much an indictment of Moonshadow society as it is of Ethari personally. I think he deeply regrets wronging his family, and I think he’ll be among the first of the Moonshadows to denounce Ghosting, publicly, to make amends for the times he did not. I think he’ll be among the first to realize the damage they have done, and urge them to make it right.

Ethari is kind and sweet and gentle. But his society is not, and does not encourage this, especially in dark times.

[anxietymadmax]

~You don't look dead, Killer~

Been a bit since my last stp art, and what better a day to get back to it.

(Aside, one of my favourite things about the writing is how unabashedly it remains a love story, no matter what happens. I suppose it's why the opening reminds you every time. It's deeply and movingly sincere)

Though also being host to my favourite route, Spectre is just so delightful to draw

[pillowspace]

Have a pikachu sea slug

Yayyyy thank youu! Ohh it moves so movingly

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#54: The Missed (1.06)

gif cred: @nerd4music

All those years without Richonne on my screen, they were dearly missed by me. And I love how after all those years Richonne spent apart, they now get to express how deeply they missed each other too.

Also, it was nice to realize that the regal Richonne bedroom location wouldn’t only be shown in the teaser as they revisit it several times throughout episode 6. And this first time they cut back to it is one of my favorites 🥰...

After Beale tells Rick that today is “a day completely about tomorrow.” in the briefing room, we get this lovely scene of Rick and Michonne resting in bed.

I like how the cut to this bed scene seems to imply that this moment with Michonne is what Rick is thinking about while in this meeting with Beale. I know now that Rick is back to his senses and fully intent on going home with her, the CRM can hardly keep his focus anymore. Because for Rick, now it’s just about handling business and finally heading home with his wife. 

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

On the bed, Michonne is facing away from Rick and I love that her wedding ring is visible on her finger. Also the way they were getting it on in that teaser, you know Michonne’s a little understandably tired. And I'm inclined to think she knows she has to rest facing away from him because they know how irresistible they are to each other - so if she faces him they’re surely going to be back up on each other. 😊

It’s really sweet seeing Rick rubbing her back with his thumb and then especially sweet is when he says another one of my favorite things he’s ever said as he tells Michonne, “I missed you so much. Words can’t even say it right.” 😭

gif cred: @nat111love

Since returning to himself and coming alive again Rick has got Michonne multiple gifts, got down on one knee with a ring, and expressed in several ways how much he loves her and can’t live without her, and yet he still feels like he hasn’t quite found the way to truly capture how much he’s missed her. 🥲

Rick Grimes’ heart will never fail to make my heart melt. He loves her so much. Just when you think that’s already been made clear, this love story goes and makes it even clearer. Also, the fact that he told Michonne she never has to thank him ever meanwhile he's still eager to search for all the ways to let her know how much he missed her. 😭

And I love that he’s telling Michonne this here after everything they’ve been through - telling her that while he was away, it was her that his heart ached for every day.

gif cred: @nat111love

(Side note: I was just thinking again about how it really does track with Rick's character that he would decide to die once he felt he'd lost Michonne for good in TOWL. Because even in TWD, a light turned off in Rick anytime he thought he lost Michonne. Rick's resilient spirit is not easy to break, but his will to fight and live always takes a major hit whenever he thinks Michonne has been taken from him. 🥺 Especially because to love someone as strongly as Rick and Michonne do means to grieve them just as strongly when they're taken from you.)

Another headcanon that I always envision is that at some point when they’re settled back home, Rick shares with Michonne just how close he came to permanently ending it all during his darkest moments in the CRM.

Like when he says 'words can’t even say it right' it makes me think that part of that is because it’s hard to fully convey the depths of despair he felt when he thought he’d never see her again. He movingly opened up about it in Episode 4, but when you love and feel as deeply as Rick does you know what he expressed in ep 4 probably still feels like the tip of the iceberg to him in capturing exactly how he felt while apart. 

But fortunately one of the longest standing elements of Richonne’s soulmatism is their interconnectedness. They feel what the other feels and understand each other without even having to explain, and so I adore that Michonne responds by saying, “You don’t have to. I know.” 😭

gif cred: @nat111love

She says it so tenderly and assuringly. I love that this is her response because it has layers to it. One; it’s freeing Rick from feeling like he even has to find the words because she already knows and trusts how much he missed her. I mean even just from every time he kisses her it’s more than clear.

It reminds me of their ily scene in season 8 when Rick tells Michonne he’s sorry and she says “You don’t have to be.” She’s always so understanding and so good at lifting away anything that could make Rick feel like he hasn’t done enough.

And then two; best of all is that Michonne is saying Rick doesn’t have to find the words because she missed him that much too. 🥺

She knows exactly what it felt like to have her heart ache for him everyday they were apart. I’m sure when she told Nat that she could feel Rick out there in ep 2, what she felt was the immense longing he was emitting and it felt akin to the immense longing within her. 

And once again, this reminds me of the Top 10 Richonne scene in TWD when Michonne tells Rick she knows he’s okay because she’s okay too. I love that since season 4, these two have always had this unique connection that allows them to know each other intimately and innately and share the same feelings at the same level.

So after all these years, how badly they missed each other doesn’t even have to be said because it’s something they both know and felt equally. 🥲

Then, after Rick and Michonne express that they know how deeply they’ve missed the other, Rick then wants to know another thing -  if they’re crazy lol.

gif cred: @nat111love

I love that he just asks outright, “Are we crazy?” And yes they absolutely are and we love them for it. 😌 I mean, one of the first things Richonne beautifully bonded over is that they interact with dead people. They have a lot going on in those minds of theirs.

Michonne knows they’re crazy too so I love that she answers, “Certifiable.”

I think Rick asks this here because he knows they’ve concocted a whole plan to essentially go right into the belly of the beast and expose the most powerful military on the planet as their quick stop before going home together. Just a short little homebound detour, ya know? 😋

Ordinary people would probably be too afraid to risk taking this on, but Richonne said...

Like forget 'go big or go home,' Richonne knows they're capable of going big and going home. And they were smart to devise a plan that's more of a secretive inside operation rather than attempt to start a whole war against the CRM or something.

I like how Michonne’s response shows she has embraced the crazy in both her and her husband, so she’s just calmly ready to go through with this plan. 

gif cred: @nat111love

When they say this, there are then several TWD clips shown of memorable Rick and Michonne moments. They show Rick when he killed Pete, Michonne when she tore the Governor up and left him with one eye, Rick leaping from the RV onto a Walker in The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be, and Michonne killing walkers with her katana on the beach.

These scenes were included to show that the two are in fact a bit off their rocker but to me, these clips really just emphasized why Rick and Michonne are the baddest to ever do it. 💁🏽‍♀️🔥

They cut back to Rick as he listens to Beale’s spiel - his thoughts clearly elsewhere and his crazy clearly bubbling up to the surface slowly but surely.

gif cred: @nerd4music

Then there’s a nice and ominous callback to the TWD pilot as Michonne finds a stuffed toy bunny lying in the middle of the floor.

A soldier can be seen carting in even more stuffed animals in the background which has a chilling element to it because it lets you know that somehow children are involved in whatever destruction the CRM has in store. 😰

gif cred: @nerd4music

It’s an interesting visual with these children’s toys contrasting the cold and sterile environment. And it also had me like...CRM, what exactly do y'all got planned because...

Michonne picks up the bunny, curious, and then hands it over to a soldier. Then I’m hit hard when she thinks about her kids and they show flashbacks of Michonne with Carl in Clear, Michonne and Rick running to get Carl to the infirmary in No Way Out, and Michonne being pregnant with RJ on that horrible day when Joycelyn and her Children of the Corn attacked her. 😖

There's also the great moment when Michonne and Judith took down walkers together with their swords, and when she had a family group hug with Judith and RJ during their beach day. 😭 Michonne with her babies never fails to warm my heart. It's such a reminder that she's come so far in her journey. 🥹

And to me, any viewers' claims that Michonne "didn't have an arc throughout the franchise" and was a "stagnant character" are easily disproven when you really pay attention to Michonne’s story. People are entitled to their opinions of course, and in my opinion, Michonne has such a moving arc in TWD and TOWL.

Some seem to think that because she’s been extremely competent since Day One that means she didn’t grow. But if anything, I've found it particularly impactful how Michonne's story explores the distinct growth journey of someone so competent and capable. Someone who could have easily just lived life as the "efficient weapon" but learned to put her walls down and also live life as a human being with plenty of multifaceted emotions expressed over the seasons.

Plus, while a lot of Michonne's early days of the apocalypse weren’t shown, she wasn't always okay mentally, having struggled to recover from the incredibly hard losses of her toddler, boyfriend, and refugee camp. 😔

We saw that she obviously took the losses extremely hard and went crazy carrying her dead boyfriend and friend around on leashes. Like, imagine if Rick carried Lori and Shane’s corpses around on a leash. It was a bit insane to have been carrying around the walker-version of people super close to her.

I believe I remember Michonne told Ezekiel that when she put Mike and his friend on leashes it was first and foremost to torment herself and punish them, and it was only secondary that she realized they actually had a practical use to shield her from other walkers as well. So it makes sense that Michonne previously acknowledged she was a “crazy lady with a sword” when she found team family. 

And for Michonne to go from the 'crazy' closed-off lone wolf that her trauma turned her into, to being a sound leader, adored wife, and cherished mother surrounded by the love of her family was truly beautiful to watch organically evolve over the years. 👌🏽

So then, after seeing clips of young Carl, Judith, and RJ, they land the Grimes kids montage with the absolute gut punch of seeing Rick and Michonne burying Carl. 💔

I’ll always be broken up over the wrongful death of Carl Grimes btw. He’s forever missed. And while Carl may be gone, he is certainly not forgotten by us or his parents...and that’s made fully evident as the TOWL finale goes on. 👌🏽🥲

[sinnabarmoth]

Chasing Your Shooting Star (2/19)

Pairing: Uni Student|Xavier x Uni Student|Reader (fem)

Summary: Reader has breakfast with her mother and Xavier seems to be around every corner.

Content warnings: Adult language.

Length: 2600

Chapters: (First) (Next)

Read on AO3

The first weekend of the semester blew in without much interest. But as with every weekend you were set to have breakfast with your mother. Because your schedules were always so busy the only time during the week you had time to see each other was on the weekends. Even then you rarely did more than breakfast.

You went to your mother’s rooms and sat down as she served breakfast. “So, my dear,” she said, “how has your first week been?”

“Exceedingly normal, nothing much to report.” you said. It was the truth, outside of Xavier beating you in every combat training you had that week. You swallowed back the bitterness and continued eating.

“I suppose that is good. And your combat training?” she asked, “How does that fare?”

“Oh, it went well.” you said, hoping she wouldn’t dwell on it.

“I heard you had a bit of a challenge with that new transfer student.” she said, taking a sip of her coffee, “It was Shen, wasn’t it? A Xavier Shen.”

“Oh uh, yes.” Hells! You were hoping that because it was the first week she would have been too busy to pay attention to you. “Xavier has a great talent for swordsmanship. He actually gave me a challenge for once and it threw me off. That’s all. It wasn’t like they were even real duels. It wasn’t for a grade. It is the first week, everything is just assessing. It’s fine.”

“Fine?” your mother said, her gaze sharp, “Does fine create leaders?”

You sighed. “Mother--”

“Answer the question.” her words cut you off as if they wielded a blade themselves. “Does someone doing just fine create a good leader?”

“Someone who does fine can make a good leader.” you said, hands clasped tightly in your lap. Your appetite had fled and any hope of getting out of this conversation unscathed went with it.

“But does it make an excellent leader?” she continued, “Does it make an enduring leader? If I was only a ‘fine’ dean would I still be in charge of this university? If this Xavier was only a ‘fine’ swordsman would he have bested you?”

“No.”

“Then, though the situation may be fine to you it can always be…”

“Better.” you answered. “I will do better, mother. I promise. It was the first week, I was acting lackadaisical. It won’t happen again.”

“Make sure it doesn’t.” your mother eased back into her chair.

Though you had no appetite you forced yourself to eat. You knew what your mother would say if you abandoned your food after she went through the trouble to make it.

When you were finally able to leave you waited until you were outside the building to let the tension bleed out of your body. That could have gone a lot worse. You hadn’t left unscathed but at least the damage had been minimal. If you didn’t want a repeat though you had to get this situation under control now.

You had hoped going into this final year that you may have been able to relax a little but that clearly wasn’t an option any more.

You went back to your dorm and changed into work out clothes before heading to the gym. Since the university trained some of the best warriors in the world it meant that the gym was state of the art. Not an expense had been spared in creating it. That included the simulation machine. A high-tech marvel that combined realistic graphics and machinery with real time response capabilities to create realistic fight simulations.

Seniors could use it whenever but anyone below had to fill out the necessary forms and await approval for permission to use it. You decided to go see if it was free to run a simulation and found that someone else was already using it. Not just anyone but Xavier in fact.

He was movingly quickly in the machine as well. You watched as the holographic enemies swarmed around him like an angry beehive. Good gods above, what level of a simulation was he running? You went over to the tablet that controlled the input and your eyes went wide. The program he was running was an extremely intense one. It was only usually used for finals and here he was treating it like a daily training program!

Just who in the hells was this guy and how did he get to be this good at fighting?

You stood watching him until finally the simulation was done playing out. The practice sword he carried clattered to the ground and you watched as he shook the sweat out of his hair like he was a dog. He turned around to grab a towel to sponge off more of the sweat that rolled down his neck and stained a large triangle down the back of his shirt. He spotted you and stepped out of the machine.

“It’s you again.” he said. “Are you here to train too?”

“Yeah.” you looked back at the tablet. “Can I ask why you were running such an intense program? Are you a glutton for punishment or something?”

“Oh that,” he sighed, “I accidentally put on the hardest program and I didn’t know how to switch it back after logging it in so I decided not to let it go to waste.”

“And you just aced it? No problem?” the more you learned about this boy the more irritated you got.

He scoffed. “I hardly call what I did acing it.” he tapped on the tablet screen. “Just look at all the enemies it says I missed. I was fighting to stay alive in there.”

“Huh,” you looked over the numbers. “You were doing a lot of dodging. Still impressive.”

“Thanks.” he gave you another small smile. It barely picked up the corners of his mouth but it was a smile nonetheless.

“So, are you done or…”

“Oh yes, it’s all yours.” he stepped out of your way.

“Thanks.” your hand hovered over the tablet. There was a reckless part of you that wanted to prove yourself and do the same program but you knew that attempting that was only going to stress you out more than you already were. So you did the responsible thing and chose a more manageable program to run.

You stepped in and took up the practice sword. For the next several minutes all you did was focus on the simulation. You let your frustrations and your feelings of inadequacy go as you cut down holographic enemies and dodged out of the way of strikes. Your body was burning with the effort to keep up but you kept going until it finally came to an end.

You turned to leave and check your numbers when you saw that Xavier was still there. He was sat on the ground watching you.

“Why are you still here?” the question flew out of your mouth before you could stop it.

“Oh sorry, I was curious to see how you fought.” he said. “You were really good in class and I wanted to see more of your skills.”

Why did he need to see more of your skills? The only reason you could think of was that he was studying your fighting style to be able to beat you more efficiently during your next duel. That’s what you would have been doing in his position.

“Well, you saw them.” you were really trying not to let how annoyed you were but you didn’t think you were doing a good job of hiding it. “I’m going to go get a shower now.”

You started heading for the gym showers. Xavier fell into step next to you.

“Why are you following me?” you snapped.

He blinked in surprise. “I don’t know where the showers are. I thought I’d follow you to find them.” he said.

“So you knew where to find the very expensive high tech machine that lets you run through highly realistic combat simulations but you didn’t bother to check where the showers were before that?” you asked.

“No. Probably should have now that you’ve pointed it out.”

Your eye twitched. Really? This airhead was the one that was blocking you from your number one spot in combat training? It wasn’t fucking fair!

“Yeah, well showers are right down here.” you pointed ahead where a pair of doors stood.

“Great. Thanks again.” he started walking ahead of you, “Guess I’ll see you around, either here or during class.”

“I guess.” you said, watching him leave. You took in a deep breath. “I am going to beat him into a pulp.”

---

Your agitation only grew when you returned to class the following week.

Someone that sat near the center of the room waved him over. “Hey Xavier, come sit with us.”

“Yeah, we saved you a seat.” the girls pointed to an open seat between them. “You can see the board a lot better from here.”

“Thanks. But I have a seat already.” he said and sat down right next to you, oblivious to the confusion of the others and the ire that rolled off of you in waves.

The girls that had invited him to sit with them glared at you as if it was your fault he chose to sit next to you. You hadn’t asked him to be here! You would have preferred if he wasn’t. But for whatever reason he had decided that next to you was where he was going to sit for the semester.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Morning. You know you can go sit with them, it looks like they really want you to.” you said.

“I want to sit here.” he said simply.

“Okay.” You gave him a nod but otherwise ignored him, busying yourself instead with preparing your space to take notes.

“Did you have a good weekend?” he asked.

What was this guy’s problem? Did he not see that you obviously had no interest in talking to him? You especially did not have any interest in insipid mind-numbing small talk.

“It was fine.” you muttered.

“You ready for combat training today?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” you snapped and his eyes went wide.

“I didn’t mean to imply anything, I was merely curious. I was looking forward to us sparring again.” he gave you an easy smile. “I like our duels.”

Liked how easily he was able to beat you more like. But that wouldn’t last for long. You were better prepared now. You had spent the rest of the weekend at the gym fighting through simulations. You would be better prepared to take him on and regain your spot at the top of the class.

Thankfully classes started right then so you didn’t need to respond. That didn’t seem to stop Xavier though. You were listening intently when a folded up scrap of paper landed on your desk. Note passing? What was this? Grade school?

You thought about just crumpling it up but then you made the mistake of glancing over at Xavier who was watching you out of the corner of his eye. Ugh, fine. You opened the note.

I nodded off for a minute there, what did I miss?

It was signed with a little star at the end with big tearful cartoon eyes.

Your head snapped back to him and you could see the tips of his ears turning pink. You sighed. A part of you wanted to tell him that it was his own problem and he could reap the consequences. But damn it if you could ignore those big panicked eyes that were looking at you with such distress. Fine. You didn’t like him but you weren’t a monster.

You slid your notebook to the edge of your desk so he could see your notes. He flashed you a grateful smile and quickly copied down your notes before returning his attention to the class.

What was his problem that he was falling asleep all the time? First the welcoming ceremony and now class? Was he not getting a lot of sleep? Was he narcoleptic? Or did he just not care because he knew that damn soft smile could get him anything he wanted? If that was the case you were going to curse yourself for having fallen for it. That was it. He wasn’t getting any more notes from you ever again. You decided it. Let him fall behind, wasn’t any skin off your nose.

When class was over you started packing up your stuff again. “Thanks for helping me.” Xavier said, shuffling everything into his own bag. “I think I was only out for like five minutes but I know that it is pretty much a guaranteed failure in this class if you miss even the littlest detail.”

“Don’t expect me to keep bailing you out.” you said. “Your terrible sleep schedule isn’t my problem.”

“It isn’t that I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, the teacher has a pretty dull voice. It put me right to sleep.”

You wanted to say something in the professor’s defense but came up with nothing. As much as you admired her she was not a great speaker. She spoke as if she didn’t know how to make her voice move. It was honestly impressive just how flat she sounded when she was teaching.

“Be that as it may, try to stay awake from now on.”

“I will.” he scuffed his foot against the ground. “So, I was actually wondering if--”

“Xavier!” one of the guys from further near the front of the lecture hall called out to him. “We’re going to get something to eat. You wanna come with us?”

The girls from before that had been trying to get him to sit with them were with the other guys at the front of the lecture hall. “Oh uh, I was actually just--”

“I gotta get going.” you hefted your bag on your shoulder. “Fifteen minutes to get across campus, remember? Bye.”

“Oh okay. Thanks again, I’ll see you this afternoon.” he waved as you fled the scene. To get out of the lecture hall you had to walk past the group that was waiting for Xavier. It didn’t escape your notice that they grew quiet when you passed by. The girls were glaring at you again so you glared back. All of this over a stupid boy that they had barely known for a week? Gods almighty, this was going to be the longest semester of your life.

It wasn’t until you got to your next class that you realized that you still had Xavier’s note. You had slipped it in between the pages of your notebook. You inspected the note for a moment before deciding to throw it away. Then, for whatever reason, you paused. Something about that stupid little star he used to sign the note with made you stop and stare at it.

Why sign it? He was the only one sat next to you, there’s no way you would have thought it was someone else. But why if he was going to sign it did he use a star and not his name? He could have even put an X if he wanted to but he drew a star with those stupid little pleading eyes.

Those dumb pitiful eyes stared back at you as if begging you not to throw it away. “Oh whatever, I’ll throw it out when I clean out my binder.” you tucked the note away, deeming it not worth standing up and walking all the way to the trash can at the front of the class.

You were focused for the rest of the class but when you went back to review your notes later that day you noticed that you had made all the bullet points in your notebook tiny stars.

This idiot was worming his way into your subconscious now! You needed to get some distance and do it fast.

[revenantghost]

Listen. LISTEN. I know Wolfwood is probably going to die in Stampede. There's a 99.9% chance. It's movingly tragic and an excellently executed story beat, I can't even say that I want them to change that moment because the emotional impact is so deep. I don't even know how Orange would manage to hit that depth without it.

But also, that .1% chance they've set up with the changes they've made is so tantalizing. After living a life of torment, a life truly not lived, Wolfwood only has a moment of self-redemption and catharsis before that's it. Before he realizes how much he wishes he could live, and he can't. And that's what makes it so well done, but on the other side of the coin, it can be so moving and meaningful and impactful for someone to get dragged through hell, come out the other side of it, and keep walking. Do better and be better. Be the change that Vash himself sees in the world. Sometimes it means the world to see a trauma survivor keep kicking instead of crumbling under the wounds that the world's given them.

Like I said, I don't know if they could make that as powerful or as meaningful as what always happens to Wolfwood in every other universe. And I trust Nightow and Orange to do the story justice. Tbh I think the first season is going to seem light and fun compared to the darkness that will be coming. But until I am once again inevitably emotionally gutted, I'm going to cup this thought in my hands and admire it, even if I know the odds are a mountain against me.

So I know I'm off my rocker, but Stampede's Wolfwood stays Schrodinger's Wolfwood. To me.

[saintsenara]

more @hprecfest!

day seventeen: a fic that makes you cry

the white road by @perverse-idyll harry potter/severus snape explicit | 48k words

why i recommend it:

well, it more than fulfils the requirements for this day of the fest, because it's made everyone i know who's ever read it cry and stare blankly into the middle distance...

it's an amazing premise - which i won't spoil - executed really interestingly. the worldbuilding is beautifully done, and feels sensuously and tangibly real [there is a scene in a marsh which is so visceral you can smell the dank air].

but where this fic really shines is in the emotional heft it delivers on the strangeness and unpredictability of love, in all its forms. the recurring metaphor of romantic love as an avenging angel always stands out to me, but it also deals incredibly movingly with platonic and familial love and how none of these things are perfect, but simply enough. 

the characterisation is also masterful. perverse-idyll is more dumbledore-critical than i am in my own writing, but they provide a great model for how to write dumbledore's more malicious side without descending into farce. its version of lily is also wonderful - and i love in particular how the fic delves into the fact that she's not a great friend to snape in canon, and that she never truly understands him, but without treating that flaw as anything other than a perfectly human mistake. but the heart of the piece is its snape: brave and cruel and capricious and greasy all at once.

[leohtttbriar]

star trek fic recommendations

(small Note: i don't read a lot of fic and don't seek it out very often, so i am one hundred percent sure there is a lot more beautifully written star trek fics out there and if anyone has any recommendations for me i am very happy to take them!)

+ piercing music played with bloodied fingers - by 1nterlaced @firstroseofspring

T'Pring takes her fill.

This fic blew out the little we get of T'Pring in the show and created this fascinating person with history and perspective in both a convincing way and with this underlying theme of the value of "choice" in personhood--which not only springs off from canon but enriches it in such a way that I really think this should be published into the ongoing canon of this character. The language is considered and interesting and really engages with the conceit of Vulcan aliens. The craft of this whole fic is truly gorgeous and makes the ending, the climax of choice and interest and attention all established so beautifully in T'Pring as the story progresses, all the more intense in resolution and feeling.

Quote: "One week into her arrival, the sky is cloudy and starless and has been nothing else. Despite the heavy pollution on the planet, the sight is beautiful- emerald green with a constant blanket of thick white clouds. The storms in the area are incessant, roiling and loud. She’d taken a trip to the coast the day before and found that the seaside was much of the same- a ferry trip she'd planned to take to a small island was forced to re-accommodate to be taken by a safer mode of transport, and she’d watched the turbulent waters through the glass instead of feeling the water under her feet."

+ say it soft, and it's almost like praying - by @daemonologywrites

In space, she is simply Lieutenant Uhura. (Or: isn't it a little fucked up that Uhura's first name doesn't get canonized until 2009?)

An incredibly sensual and sensitive examination of Uhura's name and the intimate nature of names and language in general. Absolutely adored it as a framing for how Uhura perceives a varied universe and how she feels perceived by it in turn. The attention paid to details of sound and phrase is reflected by the language of the fic itself, which is beautifully and artfully written. Since it's canon that Uhura translates poetry in her free time (and speaks significantly about moonlight), this fic reads as exactly the sort voice needed to describe her relationship with words and with others.

Quote: "The issue being: that no matter how Uhura thows herself into the fires of dialect and idiom, there are yet those phonemes too fine to be heard by human ears, too harsh to be uttered by a human tongue. Her universal translator can analyze the sound waves and synthesize the appropriate components, but woman-to-woman, alien-to-alien, her heart skips a beat and that fine name worthy of study and finesse (she'd only heard it once in its entirety but the tune of it had lingered oh-so-long) becomes simply—'T'Pring.'"

+ Cut the Strings - by @lostyesterday

During an attempt to secure dilithium from a seemingly abandoned refinery, a terrifyingly powerful and perceptive artificial intelligence takes control of Seven’s body and holds B’Elanna hostage. B’Elanna must rely on her engineering skills and her wits to save both Seven and herself.

This fic was fascinating--it could really be one of the truly memorable Star Trek episodes. The questions coming from its story and characters and writing were all of a sci-fi short story quality and the conceit underlying the plot sticks with you. It's also a particularly good story for the character B'Elanna, capturing the things that arouse B'Elanna's sympathies and showing so movingly how she controls those sympathies and uses them to react and to think and to protect and to just be B'Elanna. The touch of real intimacy between the characters works so well at the end of the story, the way they both wanted to reach out to the other, in a way that finally overcame the tension between them, was really lovely.

Quote: “I had a body once, you know,” Lady Aria whispered. B’Elanna’s eyes flew open. The expression on Seven’s face had turned soft and wistful. “It was fully mechanical – not partially organic as this body is. But they destroyed it.”

+ Simulacra - by TheonlyDan

Philippa Georgiou will always fall into Michael’s arms. You kiss her. She angles her face just in time so your lips land on her cheek, not her mouth. So there’s your last kiss.

This fic portrays a tension between Michael and Georgiou so completely; Michael's yearning, her rationalizing, her acceptance, her non-acceptance--it's all laid out in sparse intimate moments, with evocative figurative language, arguing really well that there is both horror and comfort in being something significant to someone else.

Quote: "Georgiou is fixated on being everything to you, everything and a little extra. So there’s love."

+ patience - by @trillscienceofficer

“I thought eating azna would be enough to calm me down, but I was wrong.” Lenara didn’t hold Jadzia’s gaze for very long, like she was ashamed of something. “I’ve been missing home— I mean Trill, terribly lately.” Jadzia frowned. She’d had no idea. Jadzia and Lenara share a meal (and some feelings) at the replimat.

Everytime I think about this fic I ache. It shows precisely what it is that Lenara left for in "Rejoined," while still being a story about her staying. Lenara's distinct loneliness in this is almost difficult to read because in the moment in the fic there truly is no solution to it except (as Jadzia says in this) to grow comfortable with the discomfort. Jadzia and Lenara, in both dialogue and interpersonal interaction, are so real in this, acting and speaking as any person does about things so beyond their control. And the details in the world-building are both so interesting and lend their choices and their regrets so much depth. When Jadzia remarks that she hasn't ever been to a particular Trill festival, not in any of her lives except one (who remembers it differently), the weight of all the memories that Jadzia and Lenara carry is felt, which is so important I think to both the characters and any version of how their romance plays out.

Quote: “Depths,” she said, hiding her face behind her hands. “It’s really too late now, isn’t it? I can’t bring you the festival, not now and not ever.” She met Jadzia’s eyes, stricken, and Jadzia’s chest constricted painfully. Lenara continued: “The stupid part is, I never really cared for it before. I don’t like the smoke, or the spiced cider, or freezing outside while the fire runs out. And yet now it feels like I’ve lost this— big part of my life. It doesn’t make sense,” she finished forcefully.

+ words for the way you live - by Mirekat

The Dax symbiont, in the wilderness

There's something so special in the idea of exploring the perspective of the symbiont itself and this fic delves so beautifully into what that personhood would feel like; memory and sensation and what it means to be beloved parasite or to have a parasite, the ineffable relationship between symbiont and host. The language in this fic implies a person of deep feeling and attachment and (I might just be inferring this for my own interpretation--it's a very rich fic) makes the argument that part of the Trill conceit to gain vast experiences is sourced in the symbiont itself for the symbiont loves (in a complicated way) each body it is and mourns and continues, inevitably.

Quote: you will know symbiont. you will know parasite. you will know that you can think, and that because you can think you can choose, and that it is right for you to choose symbiont and not parasite, to choose bodies with words and long memories 

+ When Janeway met Tuvok - by mystery_ink

Janeway appears in front of three admirals after what she thought was a successful mission.

This take on Janeway is so inspired and so fascinating, I wanted to live with Lieutenant Janeway for several long years. The tension in the story unfolds so well and the realism inherent in the situation makes the characters feel so real. The indignation on both sides, the change that will happen to them both (only artfully hinted at), and the way it's not a large action that Janeway takes to concede something to Tuvok at the end but it's nonetheless significant: it's all compelling.

Quote: “Lieutenant,” Aates said gently. “We’d like to hear your side of the story.” - “What story?” Densa asked. “This is real life we’re talking about here.”

+ Speech - by raven (singlecrow)

Five languages she learned to speak, and one she already knew.

I found this fic in a crazed fit, desperate for Uhura content, by basically blocking every male character tag and relationship on ao3, and then some. It was very worth the effort. This is so creative and so interesting and so fun and so moving and exactly what I want to see explored more and more and more. The ideas of different languages described in this are delightful and watching a character encounter them and seek, determinedly, to understand them was even more so. I want whole books dedicated to the morphological constructions of the smell-language. Actually, all of them. I want a book for all of them.

Quote: The people of the Light worked with their hands. Their world was made of chromium and glass, wood and stone, smoothed with saltwater, and time. Nyota had told Spock about their intricate art, their solidity of tradition, and the elegiac sparseness of their poetry. She had talked with her hands over breakfast, about cultural continuity and fluidity, and how a world never recorded was never objective, described and experienced in flux.

[agentrouka-blog]

What do you think will happen to Jon and Sam? Will they see each other again? And more importantly, will they still be friends?

Yes, absolutely, the whole point of sending Sam to Oldtown is to get him into a strategic position that will bring him into plot-relevant contact with Jon again, by being in the vicinity of the archives of the Faith and the Citadel (where important information of some kind is bound to be uncovered), as well as close to the unfolding developments involving Jon's half-brother and the arrival of his aunt. He's ideally placed to be a "neutral" envoy (as a member of the watch) and a connector of interesting dots.

Sam is the POV that gives us a judge over Jon. Everyone else either doesn't even know him or is prone to idealizing him as their beloved family member or is Way Way Way Worse. Not Sam. Sam knows and respects and values Jon, but he has also come to realize something horrible about how he used his power over Gilly. The way this conflict is resolved is key to Jon's character and his future as a political leader, and only the kindness and critical thinking that Sam is capable of can credibly, movingly, help turn this open wound into a healing moment. He is Gilly's lawyer, essentially, and Jon has to live up to a standard that their society is unwilling to set for leaders, because his friend Sam will insist, and that is absolutely vital for Jon's character arc. Accountability, amends, improvement.

[bitchmael]

i do know the post you're referring to. my original post was made in response to people who felt that it was making an unreasonable criticism of the show. and i agree that it was poorly worded & that to claim the show is "not queer" for those reasons is silly. but i don't think it's, like, crazy to assume that the reason bs included straight + lesbian sex but none between its gay male characters is because it was felt to be alienating to its heterosexual male audience in a way that straight and/or lesbian intimacy weren't. also afaik all the writers & directors were straight, as were all the actors playing gay/bisexual characters (i'm willing to be wrong here - i just have never heard otherwise. also not true of hannibal fwiw) so, i think it is worth asking what was motivating the choices they made to portray gayness/queerness in these specific ways! i think that's a fair critique to make!

i think "black sails was very willing to show explicit heterosexual & lesbian sex scenes but extremely hesitant to show any kind of sexual intimacy between men" is a totally reasonable critique of the show, actually