Erosion (5789 words) by Lady_of_the_Refrigerator
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Les Misérables (Movie 1978), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Javert/Jean Valjean
Characters: Javert (Les Misérables), Jean Valjean
Additional Tags: Javert (Perkins) - Freeform, Valjean (Jordan) - Freeform, Montreuil-sur-Mer, Bottom Javert (Les Misérables), Top Jean Valjean, Wall Sex, Hate Sex, First Time, Enemies to Lovers, Shameless Smut
Summary:
Valjean took a shaky breath as a flush crept over his cheeks. “Why?” he asked.
Javert very nearly laughed. Such a simple word. A simple question. A lifetime worth of justifications.
“The love of the chase,” Javert said, and then he wrenched his neck forward so he could claim Valjean’s mouth roughly.
javert going “there is no place for you to hide” while valjean goes “this i swear to you tonight” is big “i thought you gave ME your sacred promise” energy
Edit about when that neuron hit me with "wait, that camera movement through perkinsvert's body but it's the typical music of when the sexy bad girl protagonist's love interest enters the room With a remarkably attractive air with her
(Something like Lola Rabbit Or Tina from the Mask)
And of course, the music from Scooby Doo's live action movie because perkinsvert reaction = Shaggy's reaction (And bc I don't remember any other scene with the introduction music idk)
Please mind the #wineposting tag. Regardless: are you asking, "Should I watch this adaptation of Les Misérables?" I'll give you advice, though I suspect if you are reading this blog post you have watched all of these anyway (and quite possibly a few more, besides!).
'25 (Fescourt): Probably! If you are a Brick fan none of the adaptation choices will startle you, but having visuals to go with key scenes is a treat. This is a loyal piece. Toulout as Javert, Gabrio as Valjean, Milovanoff as Fantine, and Nivette as Éponine all give excellent performances. Be prepared for a lukewarm Cosette. You might struggle with silent film conventions, length, and French intertitles.
'34 (Bernard): Probably! This is a fairly loyal adaptation of the Brick that makes internally consistent choices where it deviates from its source (sometimes it has goofy continuity errors—politely ignore). Baur as Valjean and Gaël as Cosette give fabulous performances. Moments of silliness do not detract from the quality. Another long haul.
'35 (Boleslawski): Probably not. As an adaptation of Les Misérables this film is bad. That being said, Charles Laughton is a lauded actor, and you can't say he didn't put his whole laughussy into his performance. Because it is accessible and prominent, a lot of LM fans will have seen this film, and you might benefit from shared context if you're in fandom. Speaking personally, I'm glad I saw it, but I'm not sure you will be.
'52 (Milestone): No. Most likely based on '35 rather than on the book, this film is also a bad adaptation of Les Misérables. There are no notable performances. Because it is accessible, this is another adaptation many fans are familiar with, but understanding jokes about Valjean's boyfriend Robert and Javert's sentient hat probably don't justify sitting through the movie.
'58 (Le Chanois): No. Not the English dub, at least. "Bland" is the word of the day. Contemporary French audiences wildly disagree with me per Wikipedia.
'72 (Bluwal): Strong maybe. If you are an intense fan of the Brick, yes. Its use of a narrator to draw from the novel directly and its focus on the Amis makes this adaptation unique on this list. You might not end up liking it but you will have had an experience. If you have zero investment in Les Misérables but are still reading this post for some reason: no, do not watch this.
'78 (Jordan): At some point I will talk about this film and not make a gay joke but today is not that day. If you are not queer, get off my blog, you cis straight, begone. Everyone else: yes, watch this movie, c'mon. Perkins. That performance. At some point I need to make a serious post about queerness and '78 but right now all I've got is Javert's literal on-screen boner. Jesus Christ. Not a great adaptation of the novel but a virtuoso example of unintentional homoeroticism.
'82 (Hossein): No. This is an odd little adaptation without the charisma of a '35 or '78, somehow not as bad as either of those but not as good either. The GIF of the Amis walking in heavy wind is the best this film has to offer.
'98 (August): No—but I stared into my wine glass for a long, long time before typing those two letters. If we are judging adaptations by how they handle the source material, this is a disaster. As a film? I'm sure entertained. I call it bitchslap Les Mis. I should note here I am also a huge fan of Uma Thurman. Possibly I should recuse myself. I don't know, pal. IDK.
2012 (Hooper): I dwell bitterly on the fact that this is our film version of the musical. Brick fans are restless, musical fans are restless. People who first encountered Les Mis via this version are making feral noises. I'm afraid. I'm moving on.
2018 (Davies): It's really unfortunate that I am at my most drunk while commenting on this adaptation. Sure, watch it, it's one of those BBC series that has watchability sheerly because of production value and proximity to contemporary narrative/film expectations/standards. Personally I hate it. My partner is so tired of the tone in which I utter the syllables "Oyelowo".
#miss twinkleton's seminary for young ladies - 75 posts
#oh… - 25 posts
#newsies - 22 posts
#oh my god - 19 posts
#les mis - 18 posts
#goncharov - 16 posts
#unreality - 15 posts
#bud's study abroad tag - 14 posts
#prev tags - 13 posts
#kath you absolute icon - 12 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#also possible synergy update soon... usually updates are correlated with academic pressure i'm under and hoo boy is there a lot of that rn
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
all of tiktok needs a ticket to the theater and to touch grass
6 notes - Posted January 31, 2022
#4
what the fuck is up with the new dash thing where you click on someone's blog
7 notes - Posted March 3, 2022
#3
get to know me game
rules: answer the questions and tag a few people you want to get to know better
tagged by @shamedumpster - tysm!!
Favorite Color: oorgh uh. maroon and hunter green
Currently Reading: I guess technically some Latin novellas and also have been intermittently reading Circe by Madeline Miller. also i reread Red, White, and Royal Blue twice in the past week.
Last Song: ABC Cafe/Red and Black from the 2010 les mis live album
Last Series: uhhhhhhh. if like. the stuff on dropout counts, i watched the latest episode of make some noise with my roommate last night. if not, i think bridgerton? which i watched while studying abroad
Last Movie: embarrassingly, c*nderella (2021). not worth it. i have many regrets
Sweet/Savory/Spicy: savory
Currently Working On: wrapping up my internship, theoretically writing for exr games, self-teaching a year's worth of latin by the end of the summer, synergy chapter 3 (~1400 words of it exist!!! i swear!)
uhh tagging @thefactsofthematter, @swarmkeepers, and @livingchancy, though absolutely no pressure to do this haha
7 notes - Posted August 24, 2022
#2
It Is My Birthday
10 notes - Posted March 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
RIP 2016-17 broadway season. you were really something else
VIRGINIA MAESTRO.. siguiendo con la tragedia (aunque no se de que murio) de tu amigo de adolescencia en CORDOBA "ALVARO DE RUEDA OÑORO (=apellido de mi abuela MAGDALENA o Mujer de mi ABUELO SALVADOR y la cual murio DE CANCER justo antes de nacer YO).. la frontera entre ESPAÑA Y PORTUGAL en SALAMANCA (x donde la CRUZE en agosto 22 en HARLEY tras dormir en su HOTEL CORONA SOL camino de OPORTO) es FUENTES DE OÑORO y sale en la pelicula LISBOA de 1999 donde un tal ALVARO [q muere en supuesto Accidente] es el AMANTE [y socio de su marido] de una tal BERTA Y SU MADRE.. La cual (Berta) tiene un accidente y la busca su Marido Corrupto al q va a DELATAR.. y al final BERTA se SUICIDA.. y sale FUENTES DE OÑORO en lugar de la Frontera x BADAJOZ xq se la encontraron entonces (1999) totalmente DESMONTADA:
"Lisboa”, es un largometraje dirigido en 1999 por el peñarandino Antonio Hernández, un thriller, con estructura de road movie, mezclando corrupción con una total falta de escrúpulos por parte de los protagonistas y unas finanzas nada claras en el seno de una burguesía acaudalada.1
Varios de los momentos decisivos de su metraje, en su tramo final nos llevan hasta la frontera portuguesa de Fuentes de Oñoro en octubre de 1998. Inicialmente, ese escenario no estaba previsto, pero cuando el equipo de rodaje se acercó a la aduana de Badajoz, —la acción se desarrolla en esa zona de la Península —, encontró desmontado el entramado fronterizo, lo que obligó a recurrir al paso de Fuentes de Oñoro–Vilar Formoso. Así, por exigencias del guion y de modo anecdótico la frontera salmantina aparece en la representación como la provincia de Badajoz, por lo que fueron cambiados los letreros de la carretera.2
En su trama, João, un joven portugués vendedor de cintas de vídeo y música, encuentra, una día en la carretera tras un accidente, a Berta una mujer demacrada pero de buena posición, quien le pide que la lleve a Lisboa, a lo que accede reticentemente. Pero al no fiarse de ella avisa a su familia aunque ésta insiste en quedarse con él, entregándole una llave de un apartado de correos lisboeta que contiene información comprometedora sobre las actividades fraudulentas y delictivas de su marido. Por otro lado Berta y su madre comparten amante, Álvaro, antiguo socio del marido de ésta, quien acaba de morir –en el comienzo del film– en un accidente de tráfico del que ella culpa a su familia. Posteriormente, convencido ya de que la mujer no miente João la lleva a Badajoz para despistar a su familia, pero se arrepiente y la deja en una gasolinera, aunque regresa de nuevo. Entretanto aparece José Luis, marido de Berta que los persigue y con ayuda de un sicario les hace hablar, obliga a su mujer a irse con él y a João a devolver la llave. Mientras, éste le hace llegar a Berta una pistola por si se decide a usarla…
3 > > Así, por exigencias del guion y de modo anecdótico la frontera salmantina aparece en la representación como la provincia de Badajoz, por lo que fueron cambiados los letreros de la carretera.
Las escenas filmadas en este límite salmantino entre los dos países aportan las imágenes de los tramos finales de la película. Tramos en los que los planos filman unas espectaculares panorámicas en picado que muestran amplios espacios de la zona de la aduana, el paso fronterizo, La Pedresina, y otros edificios del entorno.4
La recopilación de estas imágenes en las que Fuentes de Oñoro aparece en escena son las siguientes: (62’11”-62’26”). Paso fronterizo de Fuentes de Oñoro, por donde cruza el protagonista, João, hacia Portugal.
(65’00”-65’32”). Fugaz regreso por el mismo lugar del vendedor portugués. Más tarde, dentro del Bar–Restaurante La Pedresina, le pide al camarero que le guarde una bolsa donde esconde la llave que le ha dado Berta.
(78´57”-84´46”). Llegada de Berta, acompañada de su familia y por João, de nuevo a la explanada entre La Pedresina y la gasolinera. El grupo ha de esperar hasta el amanecer a la apertura del establecimiento. En esa tensa espera José Luis le confiesa a su mujer que Álvaro era su amante sólo por su dinero y que debe convencerse de que la muerte de éste fue “un accidente”.
(84’46”-93’36”, Final). Amanece. João irá por el paquete al bar. Planos del paso fronterizo. Entra acompañado por José Luis, deben esperar que llegue el camarero al que entregó la bolsa. Desayunan. José Luis le da a João un cheque por valor de 3 millones de pesetas para que se compre un coche, en compensación por los destrozos ocasionados al suyo al capturarles. Llega el camarero, le entrega la bolsa a João quien a su vez se la da a José Luis con la llave del apartado de correos. Planos generales enfocando al pueblo y al paso fronterizo. Antes, el portugués ha sacado de la misma bolsa una pistola y se la hace llegar a Berta. La familia se marcha, se ofrecen más planos del lugar. Berta se suicida, salen del coche, José Luis y João se miran, el primero se vuelve a meter en el vehículo y se marchan, lo importante para él era que su mujer no hablara. Nuevos planos de la iglesia oñorense y de la frontera, hacia la que se dirige João cojeando, imágenes con las que termina el filme.5
Asimismo, Antonio Hernández ha indicado que, en otras escenas de la película, se insertaron imágenes rodadas en carreteras y márgenes del tramo entre La Fuente de San Esteban y Ciudad Rodrigo, aunque en el desarrollo de la acción figuren engarzadas entre otras localizaciones.
Cuando la cinta se presentó en junio de 1999 en el I Festival de Cine Español de Málaga, Sergi López consiguió el premio al mejor actor del certamen. El film tuvo muy buena acogida entre el público y la crítica, hasta el punto que la Twentieth Century Fox, le propuso a Hernández rodar un remake de la cinta en Estados Unidos, quien rechazó la oferta alegando que no se sentía capaz de hacer dos veces la misma película.
They should let me write a movie adaptation on les mis I'd do such a great job I promise. Every thirty minutes the actual movie gets interrupted by a documentary on something barely relevant and you think it isn't part of the movie but actually it is and you have to sit down and watch those bits fully that's the intended vision
i came up with a 78 les mis drinking game but alas i am not 21 so here y’all can have it:
• take a shot whenever javert looks at valjean lustfully
• take a shot every time valjean does that stupid fucking run
• take a shot every time an action sequence looks like it could be from looney tunes (e.g. fantine doing the thriller when she dies, the random civillian hiding behind a wall to trip valjean and then just leaving)
• take a shot every time the irons should be constricting the prisoners’ movements more than they are
• take a shot every time a new male suitor for valjean is introduced (there are a lot of them actually)
• take a shot every time something sounds like a euphemism (e.g. “beads? you make beads here?”)
• and, last, but certainly not least, take a shot every time anthony perkins has a visible boner (IT’S TWO TIMES IT’S TWO WHOLE TIMES WHO LET THIS MOVIE HAPPEN IT’S BATSHIT INSANE)
I was talking with @aflamethatneverdies today about Les Mis adaptations (and I now have a list to watch of ones I haven’t seen yet!) and this caused me to remember that book that came out in like, 2014 I think, about Javert’s backstory. I never read but I considered it and now I’m like hmm I am tempted. Just to see. Did anyone in this corner of fandom read it?
Be assured of liveblogging whenever I get to watch more of the movie/TV adaptations though.
Re your BBC post: I think it's funny just how entertaining BBC Les Mis becomes when you just throw away any idea it's earnestly trying to be accurate. Rating it as a les mis adaptation? it's pretty damn bad, Infuriating even! 3/10 im made about it like once a week. Rating it along the same lines as one would for say the Fuji TV Les mis adaptation (aka the "im just along for the ride"-ness of it all)? Wild time, solid 8.5/10, I just think valjean and javert are SO funny, also rivette is there
EXACTLY exactly!!! I think it's still (understandably) a sore point for a lot of people who watched it live at the time because davies was a huge dick about how his adaptation was the superior one... only to turn around and make all of the characters objectively Worse. I was initially dismissive of it too, but I agreed to watch it with my mum because she likes it a lot and I found myself seeing it with new eyes
when you divorce it from the (very valid) fandom salt oh my god is it funny. after seeing so many versions of the same story I appreciate when actors/writers try a different tack, yknow? even when it fails, it can still be entertaining! I love that the terrible 1998 movie had cosette pull a GUN on rushvert, I love whatever the hell was going on in the 1978 version with perkins and jordan, you all know I love drunk stars and every weird chaotic choice mann threw at the character
I really hope that more people reevaluate the bbc adaptation in the future because oyelowo genuinely brought the funniest energy I've seen in a long time. that scene at the start of episode four (five?) where he demands everyone ignore the revolution and focus on valjean instead had me in tears! it's stupid and completely misses the point of javert's character but god it's funny! also his gay little medal that he never takes off!! I'd be prepared to argue that there's actually a good amount of brick javert's weirdness and overconfidence in him and I have to love him for that
there's definitely flashes of Good in west's valjean too despite the bad moments. I love how done he is with javert right from javert's first monologue in episode one (I FORGOT TO MENTION JAVERT'S CONSTANT VILLAIN MONOLOGUING ABOUT MORALITY oh my god what is happening. what is wrong with him. I love him)
I think I already posted about valjean's awkward little mayoral speech? I liked that too, it was cringingly awkward and funny, and you don't often see adaptations tackle madeleine's obsessive aversion to actually speaking to the people he's mayor of
poor rivette.... he needs to unionise with that one incredibly tired cop javert keeps ranting to in the 78 movie (was that chabouillet? idk)
TLDR: if we can grow to love the other bonkers takes I've mentioned above I don't see why we can't accept this one into our hearts too! I 100% agree with you anon 💖 also I've never seen fuji les mis but now I desperately need to