#movie night must be wild bro

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

Using this as an opportunity to keep rambling but they TOTALLY tell Bruce all about their art related opinions. Whether it's literature, film, photography, dance or paintings Bruce loves to hear his kids ramble about shit. He'll always listen very attentively and look up stuff they mention so he can join the convo next time. He also looks up museums and art performances so he can bring his kids along and bond with them.

I have been honored!!

You can tell me about them anytime that I can listen!! I quite enjoy your HCs!! :) (smiley emote)

Thinking about Bruce having a peaceful nights sleep for once and thinking about what all his kids have told him about that day. Dad moment

[bbrissonn]

𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 - 𝐤𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞 (𝟑)

𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃

he fell first but she fell harder

𝙊𝙍

two young adults become neighbors in the most romantic city in the world

pairing: kylian mbappé x fem!oc (brielle healy)

chapters 11-15

wc: 3.7k

- June 29 2019 -

𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀 small sigh as he walked into Neymar's house, softly closing the door behind himself as he slipped his phone back into his pocket, the tread of text messages between him and Brielle being the last thing seen on his screen before it turned back. The boy had almost reached the living room before getting attacked by a small boy yelling out his name.

"Kyky!" The young boy yelled with a laugh as he attached himself to the grown man's legs. Kylian let out a small chuckle before rubbing the boy's head, ruffling his hair.

"Hey, buddy. Is your dad around?" He asked, to which the boy answered with a head nod before pointing over to the kitchen, where his best friend soon walked out of.

"What's, bro? How you been?" The older man asked as he approached the two other. The two footballers quickly did their handshake before giving each other a small hug as Davi finally let go of Kylian's legs and went back to whatever toy he was playing with before.

"Pretty good, pretty good. You?"

"I've been great man, little man over there was sick for a couple of days but he's better now." Neymar answered as the two of them sat down on the couch, turning on the TV as they did so.

"How 'bout you? I heard you've been a bit busy." He then added, wiggling his eyebrows at his younger best friend, making him roll his eyes.

"I've been great if you must know." Kylian sassed, making Neymar chuckle at his response.

"Oh trust me, I know. A little birdy told me you didn't sleep in at your place last night--"

"How do you know that?"

"Presco has keys to your house, said you weren't there at like midnight, but your phone said you were in the building. So, I'm gonna take a wild wild wild guess and say it's that cute model neighbor of yours that kept you busy." Neymar teased him, making Kylian scoff before crossing his arms over his chest.

"It wasn't like that."

"Like what?"

"We didn't have sex, Ney." The younger boy defended himself, he will admit that he had been sleeping around quite a lot recently, but with her, it was so much more than just sex that he wanted. He wanted to know every single little detail about her, whether she likes coffee or tea more, cats or dogs, everything there was to know about her, he wanted to know it. He wanted to know her biggest fear, her pet peeves, her favourite meals, just everything. And he had never felt like that towards no one before.

"Jeez, alright man, no sex, got it. But you do admit you stayed at her place last night." Neymar said, throwing his hands up with a laugh.

"We kissed." Slipped quickly through the younger boy's lips before his brain even had time to register what he was about to say.

"Atta boy!" The Brazilian native hyped his friend up, dapping him up with a laugh.

"No, no, stop. I think... I think that messed it up, when I kissed her. Like, what if it was too quick for her and she realizes that and then she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?" The Paris native freaked himself out as his words fell from his mouth.

"Bro, you obviously like her, and if she kissed you back, then clearly she likes you too. And if it was to fast for her, she wouldn't of had kissed you, alright? Just chill out man."

━━━

"𝐇𝐈!" 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐒 she wrapped her arms around Kylian's neck, pulling him close to her body. His arms went around her waist, the bag containing the food hitting her lower back.

"Hey." He whispered in her ear, pressing a small kiss to her cheek before doing so.

"Come in, come in." She said as they pulled away from each other, closing the door behind him once he fully stepped inside. The two of them then made their way over to the girl's couch, the movie they hadn't finished the previous night on the TV.

"How'd you know these were my favourite?" The girl asked with a small gasp once the boy had placed the pasta he had picked for her in front of her on the coffee table. A small tint of red then took over Kylian's cheek before he answered.

"I, uh, I was with Ney, and I didn't know what to get, so he looked up some Q&A you did a while ago..." He trailed off, his eyes looking everywhere but in hers.

"Cute." She said with a smile on her face before playing the movie, Kylian letting out a sigh of relief when he realized she wasn't going to push the subject. The truth was, he had looked it up himself the night his best friend sent him the link to the article, but that was a secret he was ready to take to his grave.

"I need your help with something..." The girl started as the movie came to an end about an hour later, the boy nodded a bit before she continued.

"So, I have this photoshoot in a two days, and it had to be with a guy. And the people in charge, they said that I had until tomorrow at midnight to find someone or they'd pick the guy for me. So, I was wondering if you would maybe want to do it with me if you're not busy?" She finished shyly, biting her lower lip as she waited for his answer.

"Sure."

- July 1 2019 -

briellehealy

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liked by k.mbappe, kenzie.turner and others

briellehealy b&w

tagged k.mbappe

view all 8,917 comments

k.mbappe 🤍🖤

k.mbappe wow i look amazing

briellehealy @k.mbappe what about me?

k.mbappe @briellehealy you look great too i guess :)

kenzie.turner JAW TO THE FLOOR

kenzie.turner OMG BRI BRI WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS??

briellehealy @kenzie.turner ill call you tomorrow !!!!!!!!

kenzie.turner @briellehealy bitch you better !!

bellahadid stunning

briellehealy @bellahadid thank you love

user54 is it too soon to say i ship it...?

user91 @user54 definitely not

load more...

━━━

"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 person in the world, you know that?" Kylian whispered looking into the girl's eyes, making a dark red colour take over her cheeks. Bri let out a giggle before shoving her face into his chest, her arms, which were wrapped around his torso, pulling him closer to her.

"Shut up!" She mumbled as she pressed a kiss to skin over his rib cage. It had been two days since the girl had asked the boy to come with her to her photoshoot, she had posted the pictures to her instagram only a couple of minutes ago. Over the last 48 hours, the two young adults had shared kiss after kiss, compliments after compliments, along with loads of hugs, not to mention the fact that this was the second night in a row she was staying over at his place.

"It's the truth. Mama always told me to say the truth." He answered with a smirk, to which the girl responded with another kiss on his skin, sending shivers down his spin.

"What are we?" The girl slipped out before her brain even had time to understand the thought itself. Kylian was surprised by the question, not knowing the answer himself, the two had been acting like way more than just friends for three days now, but neither of them had said a single thing about how they felt.

"What do you want us to be?" He answered her question by asking her one of his own, making the girl frown a bit. That wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, but it wasn't one she was mad about either.

"I want us to be a couple... eventually." She whispered, pulling her head away from his hot chest and looking up into his eyes. A smile grew on her face as the words fell out of her mouth, the boy pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaning his chin on the top of it.

"Good, because I want that too. I like you, Bri. Like, a lot. Ever since we met, you're all I've been thinking about, when I wake up, when I eat lunch, when I go to sleep, you're all I can think about. You're kind, you're nice to everyone, you're crazy smart, and you're beautiful and the fact that there's a chance you might like me too is actually fucking crazy to me 'cause you're so out of my league and sometimes I think that this is just the universe playing a big prank on me, but then the way you kiss me and how you look me, God, it drives me fucking insane." He admitted, as a small blush appeared on his cheeks, his hands, which were resting on her waist, squeezing a little harder as his thumbs rubbed small circles.

"I like you too, Kyky. So, so, so much. And I want to be with you all the time and when I'm not with you, I feel sad and just tired all the time. But when I'm with you I feel so fucking good about everything and you just make me forget all the bad shit." She also admitted as the two of them smiled at each other. Kylian leaned his head down, their lips barely touching as their eyes stayed connected. Their mouth were about to connect, until a loud feminine voice could be heard throughout the apartment, making the girl's face drop.

"Kyky, babe, I'm home!"

- July 1 2019 -

"𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊." 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍 whispered as his eyebrows furred together before pulling away from the girl and slowly getting out of the bed. Footsteps could be heard from behind the door getting closer and closer to the bedroom door until the person stood right outside of it. Brielle's brain still hadn't understood what was going on, one moment the two of them were about to kiss, and the next one someone just walks into his home and calling him babe. What the actual fuck was that about?

"Kyky!" The same voice sang before the person pushed the door open, Kylian standing right on the other side of it as Brielle pushed herself up on the bed so she was sitting.

"What the fuck, bro!" The Mbappé boy yelled out once he realized who the other person was. It was no other than his best friend Neymar, making the younger boy hit his shoulder as Brielle let out a sigh.

"Bro, you should see your face right now!" Neymar laughed, placing a hand on his heart as he threw his head back in laughter.

"Shut up, dude, this isn't fucking funny." He said, but not before turning his head around and sending a small smile to the girl on his bed. The only thing he wanted to do was go back to bed and finish what the two of them had started, and finally ask her out on a real day, but because of his teammate this was now impossible.

"Hi, Bri! It's nice to see you again." Neymar ignored his best friend as he walked over to the bed flopped down on it, landing on his back near the girl, who was still confused and shocked at what had just happened.

"Bro, c'mon." Kylian whined as he threw his head back before walking over to his bed and trying to somehow get Neymar off.

"oi, sua puta, recue!" The older man said as he tried to push his best friend away. [Oi, you bitch, back off!]

"gros, s'il te plait, bouge! On était occupé!" Kylian whined once again, making his best friend laugh at his word. The Healy girl stayed seated in the same spot, the confusing in her head growing bigger by the second. [Big, please, move! We were busy!]

"Okay, what the fuck is going on right now?" She yelled out, making the two boys look at her like dears caught in headlights. The two of them had been so busy and their bickering that they had forgotten she was even there.

"I came to see my best buddy to ask him some questions, and now he's acting like a total bitch, that's what going on right now, meu amor." Neymar answered with a smirk on his face as he prompted himself up using his arm as a support. Kylian hit his shoulder at his last words before mumbling a small 'asshole' and letting himself fall on the bed as well.

"But-- The girl--"

"Hi! This is my cute little Kyky. Isn't he adorable?" The older one cut her off using the same feminine voice he had used only minutes early as he pinched on his Kylian's cheek, making the boy hit his hand away.

"Back off, bro."

"Alright, now that everyone's up to date, questions time!" Neymar said with excitement making Kylian groan before settling himself next to the girl, throwing an arm around her shoulder loosely.

"Okay, one, are you guys dating?" He then added with wiggly eyes, making the two twenty years old look at each other. Kylian bit his lips before looking back at his best friend and answering his question.

"Not yet."

"Ouh! So, you're saying, in the future, you guys are gonna be together?" Neymar asked, clearly pushing the subject to a place he shouldn't, but as Kylian honorary brother, he felt like it was his duty.

"Yeah."

"No." The two of them answered at the same time, making the boy turn his head quickly over to the girl, a small frown on his face. Brielle, on the other hand, was finding a new interest in the window next to the bed, not daring to look over at the boy until she felt his arm fall off her shoulder. When her eyes finally landed on him, his hands were on his lap, his eyes staring at it as well as he kissed his teeth with his lips.

Brielle let out a sigh before looking back over to the window, Neymar continued to ask his best friend questions, not even bothering to acknowledge the awkwardness that had set in the room.

- July 1 2019 -

"𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘, 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 was that about?" Kylian asked, his voice filled with anger towards the girl sitting on his couch. Neymar had just left the place, after Kylian pretty much force him out of it.

"What do you mean?" The girl acted clueless, but deep down she knew exactly what he was talking about, making him scoff at her answer.

"Don't fucking play dumb with me right now, Bri. One second you're telling me you like me and all these things that I've been dreaming of hearing from you, and the next one you're saying we're not gonna be together in the future!"

"Well, didn't it cross your mind that maybe I just don't want your friends all up in our business?" She sassed as she stood up from the couch and walked over to him, standing barely a feet away from him.

"Oh, so you can go open your fucking mouth to your best friend, but God forbid that mine knows something."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've seen the message, Bri. Mackenzie giving you advices on what to do about us, and you pretty much just telling her every single interaction we've had. Ney, he barely knows anything about what we've done, and you've been off telling everything to your best friend, and then say you don't want my friends all up in our business? What about me, huh? What if I don't want your friends all up in our business?" He yelled, and Brielle could see the hurt behind his eyes. Here they were, not even into a relationship yet and she already hurting him.

"I don't think we're gonna work out." The whispered as a tear fell from her eyes, making the boy's face fall.

━━━

"𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓, 𝐒𝐎, 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 left?" Neymar asked confused as he leaned on the armrest of Kylian's couch, thankfully the man hadn't left the neighborhood yet when he received a phone call from his best friend.

"Yeah, she said we weren't gonna work out and the next thing I knew she was gone. I tried knocking at her door, texting her, calling her, but nothing." The Mbappé boy sighed as his eyes stayed focused on the celling above them.

"Did you say something stupid?"

"Nah, I don't think so. But, I don't know, maybe I was a little harsh with her, I just-- I felt like betrayed or something. She was being all like mad at me and shit for saying yes because she didn't want any of my friend knowing what was going on, but then she went and told her best friend about everything. Like every little detail, every time we spent time together, just everything, and it made me so angry."

"Alright, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go to store, by her some flowers, chocolate, the whole deal, place it on her balcony and knock on her door, leave a note too." Neymar said, after a couple of seconds of silent, trying to figure out how he could help his best friend out. But the only response he got was a scoff.

"That's not gonna work, bro."

"You won't know until you try it. Come on, get up, I'll go with you."

- July 1 2019 -

"𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃?" Mackenzie yelled at her best friend over the phone, making the Healy girl wince at her words and tone.

"I--"

"Why on earth would you say that? You idiot!" She scowled her best friend, making the Healy girl look away from her phone.

"I don't know, okay? I was freaking out and it just came out!" Brielle defended herself, only making her best friend scoff at her words.

"Bri--"

"He was hurting because of me, Kenz. I hurt him, we've known each other for barely and week and I already hurt him. We aren't even together and we're already arguing, what happens if we started dating? We're just gonna constantly be going at each other's throats? And I don't want him to hurt because of me, he doesn't deserve that, Kenzie." She cut her best friend off, a tear falling from her eye as the words fell from her mouth, making Mackenzie frown at her words.

"Baby, you can't do this to yourself. You care for him, just because you had one misunderstanding doesn't mean you can't have a good healthy relationship with him. Communication is key, and if you can't talk and be open with him about how you feel, and if you can't have those type of conversation with him, then, yes, you'd be right about you guys always arguing. But that part is up to you, you get to decide if you guys can work or not." The Turner girl coed, her voice as soft as ever, making the Healy girl nod a bit before a knock at her balcony door made her jump.

"Hold on, K." She said before getting out of her bed and walking up to her door, moving the curtain a bit to be able to see outside. She didn't see anyone at first, but what she did see was a box of chocolate along with some flowers on the small table she had put out there.

"I'm gonna call you back, Kenz." The girl said with a small smile on her face, her eyes staying focused on the outside.

"Okay, but Bri, please, just talk to him, okay?"

"I will." The model said before hanging up the call and placing her phone in the pocket of the hoodie she was wearing, before opening her balcony door and stepping outside. She picked up the small not she hadn't seen from inside and slowly opened it.

Chérie,

I'm so so sorry for yelling at you earlier, I should've just spoken to you calmly and let out explain how you felt about it before blowing up. I'm sorry if I hurt you, just know that was never my intention. I care about you, so so so much, and even if we've only known each other for a couple of days, you mean so much to me and losing you would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. Please, just talk to me, I miss your cute little face,

Kyky :)

Brielle couldn't hold back the small tear that fell from her eye, she was in the wrong about what happen, and she knew that, but that fact that he blamed himself and himself only hurt her. She was so busy thinking about she felt and what she had done, that she forgot to even think about he felt about this. Of course, he knew he was sad about it, the way his face dropped when she said those words was pretty obvious, but the thought that he blamed himself never even crossed her mind.

Her feet were moving before her mind could even understand what was going on, and the next thing she knew she was standing right outside his apartment door. Her hand slowly reached him to knock on the door when it flew open, being met with a very smiley Neymar, Kylian right behind him as he laughed at whatever the two of them had been talking about.

The two young adults made eye contact, with soft smiles on their face as they slowly entered their own little world, completely forgetting Neymar was right next to them.

"You guys are gross. I'll leave you two alone, see you tomorrow, bro." The twenty seven year old said, fake gagging before walking past the Healy girl and making his way to the elevator.

"Hey." Kylian whispered as he leaned on the door frame, their eyes still locked together.

"Hi." She whispered back, before grabbing the hand he was holding out for her.

"Can we talk?" She asked after a couple of seconds, and the next second she was getting dragged into his home, a small yelp leaving her mouth at the sudden movement.

[mermaidsirennikita]

What are your favorite accidental pregnancy (oops baby) books?

HMMMM

These aren't all the books I love with oops babies, but they're all books I love wherein the oops baby is a big plot trigger versus an additive, if that makes sense?

Deep by Kylie Scott is a contemporary rockstar romance where the oops is the whole plot. The heroine is the new sister in law of one of the hero's bandmates (so basically, this is a best friend's brother angle) and she's been flirting hard and trying to seduce the bass player for a whiiile, but he's decently older (she's early 20s, he's late 20s, he's lives a lot of life and she's a coed) and trying to honor the bro code so he resists... until they have a one night stand. It ends badly (hurt feelings) so it's radio silence. uNTIL LOL. One of my favorite pregnancy reveals in a romance novel EVER, it's RIDICULOUSLY dramatic and comical and the entire plot is him having to learn how to show the fuck up for her.

Never Seduce a Duke by Vivienne Lorret. This one has a super nerdy but also stern glasses-wearing duke end up in this cat and mouse situation, chasing the heroine across Europe because he THINKS she stole something from him... Anyway, they sleep together, it's amazing, then they get separated and he thinks she ditched him.... And a couple years later, they run into each other and she has a souvenir from the adventure, as it were. So it's like. Part oops baby, part secret baby. So fun, so hot, so great.

The Recruit by Monica McCarty. My favorite Highland Guard book (thus far). They hook up while she's pretending to be a servant girl, and he says something that really pisses her off. So when her true identity (the woman Robert the Bruce wanted him to marry) is revealed, she's like "yeah it's a no on the marriage" and they part ways. But like, four or five months later they see each other again and he realizes she's pregnant and is like "OH HELL NO" and forces her to marry him lmao

Jane Goes Wild by Farah Heron is like, the aftermath of the oops? The hero and heroine have this amazing flign at the beginning of the book, they're head over heels for each other... and she finds out he's married. And then she finds out she's pregnant. Five years later, they've made it work, he's divorced, they're co-parenting and it's civil but they only see each other when they absolutely must. Until... they both end up at the same destination wedding, and they're both in the wedding party. Feelings ensue!

A Holly Jolly Ever after by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone. The heroine is a former child star who's recently divorced and starring in a sexy Hallmark Christmas type movie with a former boy bander. She actually has never gotten there~, and she ends up enlisting him to teach her a thing or two. It ends up becoming a hook up situationship, and.... OOPS happens. This one is so hot, so funny, and so authentically emotional (with smart critiques of purity culture).

Out on a Limb by Hannah Bonam-Young. Two strangers meet at a Halloween party, hook up in her friend's guest bedroom, and oops, now there's a baby. This one is really heartfelt and character-centric, and one thing that makes it extra special is that both leads have limb differences! (As does the author.)

The Music of Love by S.M. LaViolette. A mysterious woman gets hired by an arguably more mysterious rich man to be his piano teacher. Issue is, they're stupid attracted to each other, which leads to them hooking up almost immediately... and now she's pregnant. But he's actually pretty honorable and feels bad about knocking his employee up, so ARRANGE THE MARRIAGE! This is so Gothic and OTT in the best way, I adore it. The hero also has albinism (hence him not leaving his house often, he's treated horribly by society and he does genuinely need to stay out of the sun) which I haven't read in any other romance novel. Also. His name is Eustace. But he's called STACY. And that's the kind of historical romance hero name I find stupid hot.

[solitaryandwandering]

Tag Game!

I was tagged by the wonderful @waitmyturtles - I had so much fun reading her post and am super flattered to be tagged, thank you!! :) :)

Favorite Color: Tangerine!! But I love anything in the green family, so I often just say that.

Currently Reading: One of my goals this year is to get back into reading; I used to be a MASSIVE bookworm but that has fell off quite dramatically in the last few years. I miss reading fiction quite a bit. Technically, I am currently reading the script book of Dear Evan Hansen, my best friend's favorite musical. It's... a mixed bag for me. Super short, but it's taken me forever to complete especially as my love for movies and current obsession with BL has taken over my life. I also tend to turn to fanfiction quite a bit more than actual books, a trend that began in earnest in college in the midst of my required reading for courses. That must change!!!

Last Song: "Mercury" by Sleeping At Last on Spotify, all due to @ripeteeth using his lyrics in "Revachol Calling", a fantastic Disco Elysium fic I'm currently catching up on (another goal for this year: catch up on a bunch of the albums I've missed out on over the last couple years, primarily supplied by my lil bro @internetaddict2)

Last Series: Just caught up with the latest episode of Between Us last night, which is fantastic despite the boring filler. The last series I finished in its entirety was Cutie Pie which was a WILD ride I recommend to everyone and absolutely no one. I'll wait and see how the special turns out before deciding if I want to check it out, the co-branding and skinship behind the scenes of this show makes me honestly pretty uncomfortable.

Last Movie: Jerrod Carmichael: Rothaniel, directed by Bo Burnham - phenomenal stand-up (sit-down) special. I watched it on HBO Max. Highly recommend, especially to queers or to anyone interested in fresh takes on this medium of comedy. Fair warning, he does use the r-word at one point which is the biggest blight on this otherwise incredibly moving film.

Currently Working On: Folding laundry, calling people to get access to my antivirus account, eating and hopefully getting some chores done today. Working on pacing myself so I can tackle the huge projects happening for me this year. My intention for this year is to be more responsible in all aspects of my life, so here's to being gentle to myself while building new habits! ผ(•̀_•́ผ)

Now for tags! Uhhh, I got absolutely stumped so I'm just gonna tag five people who interact the most with my blog (other than you, Stephen, or anyone I'm unable to tag). I see you, I appreciate you, I think you're awesome!! No pressure at all to do this if you don't feel like it. @i-just-wanted-hyphens, @smileybiene, @theambiguoushero, @anonyma13 :)

[themovieblogonline]

The Matrix Reloaded (Again!): Goddard Directs!

Matrix fans, hold onto your red and blue pills because a new chapter in the mind-bending saga is coming! Warner Bros. just dropped a bomb, announcing a fresh Matrix movie with the one and only Drew Goddard calling the shots. Drew Goddard, the mastermind behind "The Cabin in the Woods", The Daredevil Netflix series, and the Oscar-nominated "The Martian" screenplay, is writing and directing this new flick. That's right, the dude who brought us mind-blowing twists and epic sci-fi is about to unleash his take on the Matrix. If you know Goddard's work, you know we're in for a wild ride. Respecting the OG and Bringing Something Fresh Here's the best part: Lana Wachowski, the original co-director of the Matrix, is on board as an executive producer. So, we can expect the movie to honor the legacy of Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus while adding Goddard's unique vision to the mix. The big question on everyone's mind: will Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss return? There's no official word yet, but come on, it wouldn't be The Matrix without Neo and Trinity, right? Here's hoping the rest of the original crew joins the party too. More Matrix Means More Mind Games For those who haven't entered the Matrix yet (where have you been?!), the story follows a hacker named Neo who discovers the real world is just a simulation. Cue epic fight scenes, mind-bending visuals, and the question that keeps us up at night: what is real? Goddard himself is a huge Matrix fan, calling the Wachowskis' work "exquisite artistry" that continues to inspire him. That kind of passion is exactly what we need to take film franchise to the next level. With Goddard at the helm and Lana Wachowski's guidance, this new Matrix movie has the potential to be legendary. So, get ready to dodge bullets, bend reality, and question everything you know once again. The Matrix is back! The World of The Matrix The Matrix isn't your average sci-fi flick. Keanu Reeves stars as Neo, a hacker who stumbles upon a shocking truth: the world he lives in is actually a computer simulation. Whoa! With the help of Morpheus (played by Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss), Neo ditches his boring life and joins the fight against the machines that control the Matrix. Bullet-dodging action sequences, mind-blowing special effects, and the question of what it means to be human make The Matrix a must-watch for anyone who ever felt like something just wasn't right about their cubicle job. The sequels delve deeper into this reality-bending world, but that's a story for another day. Just know this: The Matrix will have you questioning everything you thought you knew. (Source: Deadline) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPCWoGfnjLY Read the full article

[z34l0t]

“I’m Batman,” Michael Keaton declares in that old dramatic whisper, and the crowd goes wild all over again. Thirty-one years after the star of Tim Burton’s Batman and Batman Returns hung up the cape and cowl, he has donned them anew for another DC superhero spectacular. Keaton’s caped crusader, brought out of retirement via the reliable sci-fi magic of time travel, plays a supporting role in The Flash. But that hasn’t stopped Warner Bros. from making him central to the marketing with the iconic Bat symbol looming large on the poster and the trailers dominated by glimpses of the actor in his old battle garb, ritualistically uttering dialogue from a bygone era of comic-book movies. The roars of applause that greeted these scenes during coming attractions and advance screenings made it clear: Audiences have been dying to see Keaton back in black.

That excitement must be vindicating, on some level, for the star. Because it wasn’t always this way. If you could go back in time, Barry Allen style, to the fall of 1988 — during the lead-up to Batman’s historic release — you’d see some starkly different reactions to the idea of Keaton, of all actors, under the mask of comicdom’s most beloved vigilante. Back then, “I’m Batman” wasn’t guaranteed to earn cheers. Judging from the general response to the casting, it might have easily provoked an annoyed retort: “No, you’re not!”

When the news broke in 1988 that Keaton had nabbed the lead role in Burton’s expensive, buzzed-about adaptation, fans weren’t just perplexed. They were outraged. This was before the internet gave every enthusiast an easy way to log their disdain at the click of a button. To make their disapproval heard, they had to put pen to paper. Warner Bros. is said to have received some 50,000 letters complaining about Keaton’s casting. Signed petitions also made the rounds. So vehement was this analog write-in crusade that major publications covered the backlash as breaking news, filling columns with incensed quotes from the everyday Bat aficionado. The Wall Street Journal even devoted its front page to the controversy.

Part of the skepticism stemmed from Keaton’s physical suitability for the suit, or lack thereof — the ways that he did not fit the typical profile of an action hero, even in his youth. He was five-foot-ten with a medium build and what comic-book writer Beau Smith described in that Journal story as a “receding hairline and a less-than-heroic chin.�� A couple years earlier, Frank Miller had made Batman look like Clint Eastwood in his dazzling, dystopian graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns. Keaton, to put it mildly, struck a less imposing figure, especially compared to the more seemingly apropos stars, like Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson, who were bothin consideration for the role before Burton and his producers settled on their unlikely leading man.

But it wasn’t just that Keaton didn’t look the part. His sensibility seemed, to the average fan, all wrong for the caped crusader. It was the actor’s dramatic departure in the same year’s addiction drama Clean and Sober that allegedly won him the role — and won over an in-house skeptic, producer Michael Uslan. But audiences at that point knew Keaton primarily for his work in comedies like Mr. Mom and Burton’s previous movie, Beetlejuice, in which the star played the title role of a prankster apparition much closer in anarchic spirit to Batman’s archnemesis, the Joker. How was this cutup going to convince as a creature of the night, striking fear in the heart of hoodlums?

Concealed behind these complaints, like a secret identity protected by a mask, was the real insecurity that Keaton’s casting stoked. Putting a comic actor in the dark rubber duds seemed to hint that Burton would be taking a derisively parodic approach to Batman, playing him for laughs. Keaton had to shoulder the legacy of a fanbase’s lingering resentment toward what was then the most popular of Batman adaptations, the eternally campy ’60s Adam West TV series that drained every drop of menace and danger from the mythos. Acclaimed ’80s story lines like Miller’s and the disturbing Alan Moore one-shot The Killing Joke had reclaimed the superhero’s gravity, rescuing him from the frivolity of his previous live-action iteration. The concern was that Burton planned to walk that image rehabilitation back.

Such worries would prove unwarranted. Burton may not have been much of a comic-book fan, traditionally speaking, but his vision for Batman was much closer in spirit to The Dark Knight Rises than it was to West’s divisive tenure in the tights. Perhaps that’s one reason fans came around to Keaton. Or maybe they just needed to actually see him in costume and in action. An early press still, showing off the cumbersome but cosmetically appealing Batsuit, is sometimes credited for turning the tide and assuaging some fears. So, too, is the film’s oddly music-free first teaser, a collection of shots and lines from the movie — including “I’m Batman” — that went a long way toward convincing people that Burton wasn’t going to reduce Batman to a “wham-pow” joke again, and that he had operatic aims.

The irony of fans changing their mind about Keaton is that he did, in a sense, end up bringing a comic element to Batman, or at least to his alter ego, the wealthy orphan with the secret nightlife, Bruce Wayne. The actor looks dashing enough in a tuxedo, wandering Wayne Manor during a charity gala. But from the moment Keaton opens his mouth, he’s doing a certain eccentric shtick, playing Wayne not as a suave playboy but a fidgety neurotic whose immense, sheltering privilege has left him a little socially inept. Keaton, in other words, makes Wayne a rather likable weirdo — one of Burton’s signature sympathetic misfits. “You’re not exactly normal, are you?” asks love interest Vicki Vale, which puts a fine point on it.

Batman and Burton’s weirder, nastier, superior sequel find light humor in a rich aristocrat trying to balance his life in the public eye with his crime-fighting duty. In the first film, we get amusing scenes like the first date between Wayne and Vale, sitting awkwardly down for dinner on opposite sides of a long table in a room he claims he’s never entered before. Later, Keaton stammers through his attempt to explain who he really is, silently mouthing that same classic line when Vicki’s back is turned — a classic bit of screwball. Returns sidelines Wayne more, cutting his screen time in favor of the flamboyant villains. At the same time, the sequel would allow Keaton more room to be amusingly flustered, navigating a classic rom-com subplot in which Wayne and Michelle Pfeiffer’s Selina Kyle, a.k.a. Catwoman, tiptoe into a fledgling courtship while trading blows on rooftops.

There’s even a slight comedic quality to Keaton’s Batman. As much as Burton succeeded in framing him like a real threat, an almost vampiric force of ungodly vengeance in striking silhouette, he also found the faint humor in the superhero’s taciturn nature — through droll stares, silent reaction shots, and Keaton’s impeccable deadpan timing, somehow only enhanced by the stiff costume the actor had to endure for days on end. He’s borderline Chaplin-esque at times, a straight man at others; there’s comic tension in the discrepancy between his poker-faced stoicism and the theatrical capering of Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito, and their clowning, back-flipping goons.

What Keaton really brought to the part, though, was a human dimension. This is what the filmmakers saw in him. “The image of Batman is a big male model type, but I wanted a guy who’s a real person who happens to put on this weird armor,” producer Jon Peters told the New York Times. Burton shared his vision, hoping for a star who could make dressing up like a winged beast look like a convincing psychological choice, not a merely juvenile one. That’s something a Hollywood he-man like Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the actors floated by disappointed fans ahead of Batman’s release, could have never delivered. And in a real way, Keaton laid the groundwork for the stars that took up the mantle after him, setting the live-action precedent of emphasizing the man as much as the Bat— of playing Bruce Wayne like a tortured soul, vanquishing his demons through psychodramatic cosplay.

Of course, the premature hate for Keaton’s casting would prove influential as well. Plenty of the actor’s successors in the role have faced their own gauntlet of initial doubt and disdain, only to be embraced once fans actually, well, saw the movies they appeared in. Our most recent Batmen, Ben Affleck and Robert Pattinson, both took their social-media licks. Louder still was the uproar over the casting of Heath Ledger as the Joker — a retrospectively boneheaded conniption fit with unmistakable undertones of homophobia, given Ledger’s Oscar-nominated performance in Brokeback Mountain a few years earlier. In fact, if there’s a through-line in these instances of fan chilliness, it’s a masculine paranoia. Wasn’t that the big issue with Keaton all along, that he wasn’t macho enough?

That the Bat-faithful would come to accept him in the role — and eventually, loudly bellow for his return — suggests that fans don’t always really know what they want. They had to see the star in action to understand why he ultimately made sense as their adolescent hero, wiry energy and thinning hair and modest stature aside. Maybe there’s a lesson here in not kowtowing to the diehards in advance. Give them what they don’t know they want, and they might end up clamoring for it still, three decades later.

[anitosoul]

My Favorite Albums of 2020, 50-41

50. Drake, Dark Lane Demo Tapes

Favorite Tracks: Deep Pockets | Chicago Freestyle | Pain 1993

I’ve done a full 360 on Drake: I loved his output through Views, felt lukewarm about More Life, and was fully disappointed in Scorpion. It was simply too easy for Drake to put out bloated records and know he would come out of it with at least two major hits. Early last year I found myself revisiting Nothing Was the Same (imo the best Drake album, sorry Take Care) and wondering if Drake would ever return to the level of quality of his older albums. Dark Lane Demo Tapes, despite being a collection of loosies and snippets, provides Drake’s most cohesive-sounding project since If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late. It’s wild to think that a 49-minute album could sound concise, but for Drake standards, it does: each song adds to the late night vibe that Drake popularized in the first place, taking me back to what I enjoyed so much about his earlier work. And so, with a random collection of demos, Drake has somehow reeled me back as a fan.

49. Fennec, Free Us of This Feeling

Favorite Tracks: Boy-U | Dreemin | Together

This album came out really early in the year, so I must have found it when I was going through a heavy dance/techno/house phase: I’m glad I did, though, because this album is wildly underrated. Utilizing sampling as instrumentation a la The Avalanches, Free Us Of This Feeling is a sonic collage, taking bits from TV shows, video games, movies, nature, and other music (there’s even a sample from The Bachelorette tucked away in the album). The project is still very much a dance album, with my favorite song, “Boy-U,” featuring a bouncy looped sample that I couldn’t get out of my head for days. This is the first album of many where I’ll mention something about hoping to eventually vibe to this album in a Brooklyn club once COVID is over, but yeah, I can’t wait to vibe to this album in a Brooklyn club once COVID is over.

48. Mac Miller, Circles

Favorite Tracks: Blue World | That’s On Me | Circles

Posthumous albums are always tough, but Circles is an emotional last work from the late rapper Mac Miller. His death was the first that really hit me both in terms of its unexpectedness and because I got into hip-hop around Mac Miller’s era. Circles is a beautiful album stripped down even further from 2019’s Swimming: it provides an empathetic look into the mind of someone trying their best while dealing with depression and anxiety. It’s powerfully touching and at times difficult to listen to due to the circumstances of his death, but given the growing number of people struggling with mental health in the same way Mac did, Circles’ impact is immeasurable.

47. Joji, Nectar

Favorite Tracks: Run | Gimme Love | Reanimator

For some reason I feel like I have to defend my enjoyment of Joji, but I unironically love his music. “SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK” was one of my favorite songs of 2018 and he captures a vibey sadboy angst that I’ve definitely related to in the past. There’s probably some analysis to be had of Asian kids who came up on YouTube post-punk AMVs and whose only contemporary Asian celebrities came in the form of YouTube comedians (anyone remember nigahiga?) growing up to become Joji stans, but I won’t get into it. With Nectar, Joji has evolved musically, working with major producers like Clams Casino and Diplo and guests like Yves Tumor. He sounds genuine on this album, which features more complex lyricism and an expanded vocal range. While some of the songs are forgettable, it’s still a strong release that gets me excited for the sadboy anthems he has in store.

46. Dogleg, Melee

Favorite Tracks: Fox | Wrist | Headfirst

There’s probably not a timeline where I wouldn’t love this album given all of the references to Super Smash Bros. and classic Nintendo games. This album’s hardcore sound works extremely well, delivering a dose of high-octane rock fuel in a mostly played out genre: the tracks sound like a fresh mix of bands like At The Drive In, Deafheaven, and The Strokes. I can imagine any of the songs on the album serving as the next big anime’s opening credits theme, a place where I’m sure Dogleg would feel right at home.

45. Westside Gunn, Pray for Paris

Favorite Tracks: 327 | Allah Sent Me | George Bondo

Griselda, the rap group that defines themselves on grimy east coast bars that are (weirdly) a radical departure from the currently popular hip-hop today, has captured me since 2018 when I first heard Benny the Butcher’s project The Plugs I Met. With Pray for Paris, Westside Gunn released one of the sharpest iterations of the Griselda sound, infusing braggadocious opulence with his devilish raps (the cover art is also badass). One of my favorite moments on the album is how surprisingly well the Tyler, the Creator feature works on “327,” an admittedly softer side of hip-hop (at least in Tyler’s current form) that I would have never expected to sound so good in Griselda territory.

44. Don Toliver, Heaven or Hell

Favorite Tracks: After Party | No Idea | Cardigan

I remember first hearing ASTROWORLD’s “CAN’T SAY,” thinking it was Young Thug doing another weird voice thing. Since discovering it was an up-and-coming Houston rapper Don Toliver, I’ve really enjoyed his music and unique trap-singing voice. His early mixtapes became a mainstay of my late-night drunken train rides back to my apartment. It may not be revolutionary, but Heaven and Hell is a worthy debut from Don Toliver, leaning further into the sing-rapping that’s captured the hip-hop zeitgeist and providing woozy hip-hop that’s a fitting companion for both the pre-game bottle and afterparty blunt.

43. Run the Jewels, RTJ4

Favorite Tracks: walking in the snow | out of sight | JU$T

RTJ4’s politically and racially-charged catharsis was well-needed in 2020, the year when the Trump era reached new peaks of absurdity and fatal racism boiled over into global protests during an international pandemic. Killer Mike and El-P sound as sharp as ever, incisively pointing out the injustices of society with their signature whimsical irony (probably resulting from their Adult Swim origin story). The features are all great, including returning guest Rage Against the Machine-frontman Zack De La Rocha and Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age (which reminded me of how much I used to listen to them back in 2013). Protest music hasn’t sounded this good since Rage’s The Battle for Los Angeles.

42. Róisín Murphy, Róisín Machine

Favorite Tracks: Narcissus | Murphy’s Law | Kingdom of Ends

This is a must-listen for anyone who has ever in their life enjoyed dancing, even a little. The dancepop legend Róisín Murphy has released an hour-long mix of club euphoria that will instantly transport you to better times; I’m inclined to believe that Murphy actually is some sort of disco machine after releasing this album. It’s usually difficult for me to get really taken by music like this unless I’m sweating to it in a warehouse surrounded by other bodies, but Murphy’s ear for addictive grooves is too hard to ignore. It probably helps that my favorite track “Narcissus” sounds right at home on the acid jazz soundtrack of Persona 5 Royal, a video game I spent hundreds of hours playing over quarantine. This is yet another album that I’m impatiently waiting to experience on a dancefloor, an aspirational lighthouse for a post-COVID world.

41. Loma, Don’t Shy Away

Favorite Tracks: Thorn | Octotillo | Half Silences

I had never heard of Loma before, but found their album Don’t Shy Away through an r/indieheads post. I gave it a cursory listen and was immersed by its atmospheric gloom. The abstract darkness of the album was evocative of the rose in Beauty & the Beast or Maleficent speaking to the magic mirror, whimsical and murky at the same time. The band’s inverted take on indie rock, dark electronic, and even some elements of trip-hop were enough to garner the attention of ambient electronic legend Brian Eno, who’s featured on the final track “Homing.” The whole album is bathed in moonlight, a natural progression for fans of Radiohead’s darker, more downtempo songs. It even served as a big inspiration for a mixtape I curated inspired by the deep introspection that the nighttime brings, which I’ve included below:

[redrobin-detective]

Info dumping and other things to do with your mouth

Conner was on a date with Robin. Tim. His best friend and maybe now boyfriend? It was all kind of unclear. Everything had happened so fast; realizing mid mission he was in love with Tim, the awkward but amicable breakup with Cassie, sorta kinda confessing one night and Tim agreeing to go out with him. 

“What flavor do you want, Kon?” He heard Tim ask and Conner blinked away from the wall where he’d been staring. Tim had a concerned, hesitant little smile on his face. “Froyo, what do you want?”

He ended up with a chocolate vanilla swirl with Oreos while Tim made some unholy combination of flavors that had to be illegal somewhere. It had been a good date, as the last two had been. They’d done a drive through movie the first time, went to a fancy, expensive restaurant in Gotham on the second and now were strolling down the streets of San Fran after a light dinner. It had been fun even if it felt more like a hang out session than a date.

“Hey, lets finish these on the top of the pyramid,” Tim said suddenly with the neon pink plastic spoon in his mouth as they rounded the corner to the transamerica pyramid building. “Its a Saturday night and I think if I don’t brood on some precarious ledge I’ll go insane.”

“I guess it’ll have to do since there aren’t any gargoyles around,” Kon half joked as he and Tim ducked into the nearest empty alley. “Ready to ride Air Superboy?” he joked as he swept Tim off his feet. It looked so much more romantic in the movies but Tim was totally practical about the whole thing, not leaning to close and holding onto their treats instead.

 Cassie and Bart had been hounding him after every date about how it’d gone, if he’d made it to first base yet. What was Kon supposed to tell them? That he laughed until he cried when hanging out with Tim, that he felt safe and happy and free to be utterly himself with the other, that just being able look and talk to Tim was enough to make his pulse jump. But Tim never really acted any different than they did any other time. 

Tim was his best bro in the whole wide world but these dates made Kon wonder if Tim actually like-liked him the way Kon did him. Maybe this was just another doomed relationship and he should back off before things got really weird. He could live without Tim Drake as his boyfriend but not as his best friend.

“Nice view,” he mumbled to himself as he deposited Tim at the top of the pyramid. His eyes were firmly trained on the side of his friend’s head.

“Yeah,” Tim sighed, handing Kon back his treat. “This has been real fun, Kon. Thanks for inviting me out.” Tim said evenly, as he took another bite and slurped down a gummy worm. “We should hang out like this more often.” 

“Yeah, hang out,” Conner said, staring down at his partially melted yogurt. Kon had planned for this, understood that Tim probably wasn’t into him like that. But there were worse places to be than beside his Robin who still had his back no matter what. “So got any good cases you’re working in Gotham? I haven’t heard of any crazy death traps lately, you must be bored.”

“Yeah I guess even super criminals need a break too,” Tim said with an eye roll. “But I have been using the extra time to dig into some cold cases, the real tough ones that B uses for training and I think I’ve made some headway on this really wild one from 1927 that-”

Kon had finished his yogurt by the time Tim laid out the details of the case. The sun set fully and the streetlights far below flickered on as Tim dove into his theories. It was approaching Kon’s designated curfew time as Tim excitedly explained his breakthrough he’d had the other night after his second pot of coffee. He knew how Tim got when he was worked up, knew he should stop Tim before it got any later and they both got in trouble. But he couldn’t.

The Superboy of old would’ve told Rob to shut up ages ago but now he couldn’t get enough. Tim was waving his colored spoon around like a conductor leading the orchestra at a frantic pace. His dessert lay untouched since taking a bite would’ve meant he’d need to stop talking. His eyes were bright, his cheeks pink with excitement and he exuded a comfortable energy talking about the things that interested him. And Kon was interested too, Tim’s brains never failed to impress him but watching Tim just being Tim made Conner feel really, stupidly in love.

“Sorry,” he blinked and saw Tim frowning, his excitement dimming. “I didn’t mean to talk your ear off. It’s getting late we should head back.”

“No, no!” Conner exclaimed, “no I want to hear the rest, about how the crooked judge ignored the new evidence and the murderer being spotted on the farm not long after.”

“So you were listening,” Tim teased but bit his lip and looked away. “I thought I was boring you.” Tim bit his lip. “You looked kinda spacey there for a minute.”

“No, man, I want to hear it. I just-” how did Kon explain he got distracted by a bit of hair dangling in Tim’s eye and how badly he wanted to brush it aside. About how soft his lips looked as he spoke in detail about his passions. Those weren’t bro feeling and while Robin may have been able to lie with the best of them, honesty had always been more of Superboy’s thing. “I was thinking of how much I wanted to kiss you.”

“Oh, you can, if you want,” Tim shrugged and Kon thought his heart would stop. “This is a date after all, we probably should’ve done that earlier huh?” He leaned a bit into Conner’s space who didn’t hesitate to close the gap between them. 

Their first kiss was strange, Kon too nervous and Tim too shy. The press of warm lips, hot breath on his cheek, the comfort of closeness. Kon could have stayed that way forever. They pulled back, one of Kon’s hands reaching up to cup Tim’s face. The city below them could have blown up and Kon would only have eyes for his Robin.

“So, circling back to the farm. You’re right to pick up that Birmingham went there 3 days after the first murder was reported but he was was spotted there after the fourth and fifth murders too. I think he was-” Tim continued, launching right back into his tirade. Kon huffed a little laugh, pulling back his hand but scooting a little closer to Tim as he rattled off theory after theory. Tim was just wrapping up when Bat Wayne called him. They were officially late.

“Sorry B,” Tim grimaced, “I started talking about the Babysitter Murders of ‘27 and lost track of time. Kon’s taking me back to the tower now and I’ll zeta back to the Cave. 20 minutes tops.” He hung up and gave Conner an embarrassed pout.

“You should’ve stopped me, we’re both gonna be in trouble now,” he held out his arms and Kon happily scooped him up again. 

“I like hearing you talk,” Kon grinned back as he flew them back to Titan Towers. And if he took the long, slow scenic route, well, they were late anyway. They made small talk flying back when Tim yelped out of nowhere.

“We kissed!”

“Yeah, we did,” Kon snorted.

“That was our first kiss!” Tim exclaimed again, turning to Kon with wide eyes.

“Sure was.”

“I was talking about a 90 year old murder mystery, had my first kiss with you,” Tim groaned and hid his face in his hands. “And then went back to talking about the mystery without acknowledging it.”

“It was really cool what you found though, you should submit an anonymous tip and see if your theory is true.”

“I am SO sorry, Kon,” Tim said now turning his face to hide in Conner’s shoulder. It fit there perfectly. “I didn’t process it until now and that’s so rude of me and I’ve probably been giving mixed signals this whole time because I’m not, I’m not good at this. Steph used to rag on me all the time, said I had the romance of a rock and-”

“Tim, it’s fine,” Kon laughed just in time to land them on the roof of the tower. He set his bird down and took his hands. “I don’t like you cause you’re some Casanoda or whatever but because you’re you, weird obsession with true crime and all.”

“It’s Casanova,” Tim grumbled, looking down at his shoes before shyly peeking up through his bangs. “Still, I’m sorry can we um, have a do over?”

“I don’t know,” Kon said, already leaning down, “the first one was pretty special. Think you can top it?” He did actually and Kon felt like he could fight off a thousand over protective Batmans. Would every kiss get better and better like this? He couldn’t wait to find out.

“I’ll call you,” Tim said a little breathlessly. “We should go out again next time we’re free, I want to hear what you’re up to.”

“Yeah okay, just keep me up to date with that case. I’m invested now, I want to know what happens.” Kon said, floating up and away from Tim, ready to fly home and beg Ma for forgiveness. 

“Maybe I’m a little invested too,” Tim smiled, small and sweet. “See you later, Kon.” That said, Tim opened the door leading into the tower and back to Gotham. 

Kon’s heart was doing stupid fluttery things that had nothing to do with the butterflies also in his stomach. Best date night ever. He let out a cheerful whoop, doing a few loop de loops in the air before speeding back to Kansas. And if Tim Drake’s excited face in his mind put a little extra oomph into his flight, well, no one had to know but him. 

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[yandere-sins]

Now that the undatables are datable, can I see some thoughts on a jealous Diavolo who wants to hoard the mc? Just maybe a punishment for going on a trip to the human world with some of the bros and leaving him behind. Or he’s upset about how little time he can grab between the demon bros eating up all of their attention and his own duties. He’s just so cute, and I’m so happy he’s finally a surprise guest!!!!!

Bruh ask me!!!! Everyday I open the app to be welcomed by the handsome demon-king-in-making and my heart goes doki doki ♥ I decided I need a change of mind since I worked on the book for four days straight, so I wrote you a scenario instead of just my thoughts! Thanks for requesting and please enjoy!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««      

Humming, you were led down the hallways of the Demon Lord’s castle. With a smile and short waves, you greeted the little devils that passed you, snickering and welcoming you back. You had only been back home in the human world for a weekend, but they all seemed awfully joyous that their exchange student had returned, even though you couldn’t pinpoint why that was. 

Thanking the Little D that led you to Diavolo’s study, it swirled around you, giggling for a moment before leaving you alone, and you took a deep breath before knocking on the massive doors that separate you from the room. With a hint of anticipating nervousness, you waited for an answer, hoping Diavolo would be as happy to see you as you were to see him. Over your time in the Devildom - no matter how harsh the truths you had discovered were and how often you had questioned your capabilities since you met the brothers - you had grown quite fond of the Lord, always knowing he supported your progress and time here.

“Yes?” it called out from inside. You had no doubt that Diavolo knew everyone who knocked at his door, but it was still nice that his voice never lost a certain tinge of curiosity when he called someone in. With your smile growing wider, you entered, looking into the instantly brightening face of the man of the hour. 

“[Name]!” he called out, jumping out of his chair like an excited child, and you greeted Barbatos quickly before focusing your attention on the Lord in front of you. “I am back!” you announced, holding up the small package with sweets you brought as a gift from your trip.

“Where have you been?” he asked, his voice urgent despite the smile on his face. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Huh?” you muttered in surprise. “I thought Lucifer was going to tell you that we were visiting my home for the weekend?”

“Is that so?” Diavolo grumbled under his breath, expression faltering and becoming somber for a moment before the corners of his lips curled up again. He opened his arm as he approached you, adding, “It’s good you’re back then.”

Even before he could reach you, you quickly handed over the package in your hand to Barbatos, who whispered a short, “His majesty was a little... tense this weekend.” Then spoke up louder, “I shall prepare some tea.”

With that, he was gone, and Diavolo pulled you into a hug, an affection you two had grown used to. It was wild for a mere human like you to embrace the future Demon Lord, but you weren’t complaining, especially not since it was Diavolo’s wish to act more normal with you. “I’m sorry. I really thought Luci was going to keep you updated,” you mumbled into his hug, and Diavolo let out a long, sad sigh that tugged on your heartstrings. 

“I can think about why,” Diavolo revealed, and your curiosity perked up at that, showing in your face when you finally brought some distance between you two. “Why?” you asked, unsure what he could mean, but Diavolo’s answer kept you waiting while his eyes scanned all over you, inspecting all of you as if he hadn’t seen you in years. “It’s not a surprise. Anyone would want you all to themselves.”

Furrowing your brows, you let yourself be led to the discussion couch in the middle of the room, sitting down together with Diavolo on his urging. “If Lucifer had told me, I’d have insisted on tagging along. I am sure he wanted to be the only one to have all of your attention this weekend.”

Spluttering, you felt the heat shoot into your head as you shook it vehemently. “It’s not like that! I just showed him around my hometown, and we had all kinds of foods, and...” your words trailed off as you heard the door behind you open again, Barbatos walking in with an apologetic smile as if he had interrupted something, tea tray in his hands.

“As I said, it was just a change of scenery.” Clearing your throat, you tried to change the topic, looking Diavolo straight in the eyes as you spoke up. For a moment, you thought to notice a disapproving gleam in his eyes, but you merely spoke over the bad feeling his unusual stern expression and crossed arms gave you. “What have you been up to? I hope you didn’t just have to work all weekend!”

Prolonging his response, Diavolo hummed thoughtfully before sitting up straight and opening up his arms to receive the cup of tea Barbatos was handing to him, and afterwards to you. “That’s all, Barbatos,” he confirmed to his servant, the latter bowing before taking his leave. You thanked Barbatos too and took a sip of the hot beverage, letting the delicate aromas of the drink fill your nose. 

“I’ve... I’ve been busy, yeah,” Diavolo eventually simply admitted, an uncommon short answer coming from him. Not like he had much leisure to tell endless tales, but usually, he talked in longer sentences. “It’s been a quiet weekend, and I actually wanted to ask you to join me for tea, but I guess my message never reached you.”

“Oh, no...” you mumbled, realizing that since your DDD didn’t have reception in the human world, you hadn’t even checked it once in all this time. Not even know had you charged it and looked at it, having come directly to the castle instead after your return. A crude mistake on your side.

“It’s no problem.” A short smile crossed his lips as Diavolo looked into your regretful eyes. “I am used to it. You are always up to something with the brothers, so I am not surprised when you didn’t reply.” But disappointed. The words he didn’t speak were plainly visible on his face, and you felt a sting in your heart knowing that your carelessness had upset him. Biting your lip as you thought, you decided to make it up to him in the best way you could come up with.

“I’m sorry, your Highness... But I am here now! How about I wait for you to finish your work and we can go out together and have dinner? Promise I won’t leave this time!” Laughing, you tried to lift the mood, and at first, he gave you a raised brow and a somewhat skeptical look, but soon enough, even the Lord couldn’t resist your smile, chiming in softly. 

“Here, let me,” he prompted, taking your cup from you and filling it up with fresh, warm tea even though you hadn’t even finished. Being only able to see his back, you could only assume he even put sugar into the new brew for you, stirring your cup dutifully. It was an honor to receive such a treatment from someone like Diavolo, and you made sure to thank him plenty when he handed the cup back to you. 

“I think spending some time with you is a good idea. This weekend I’ve just been a bit too gloomy for everyone in the castle, I think. Can you believe it? I broke half of the entire inventory on tea sets we own in my frustration.”

Diavolo laughed out loudly while you couldn’t help but feel concerned about what he just revealed to you. It didn’t sound very healthy that he’d let out his mood on the items around him, much less on the people who had to endure the chaos he caused. Giving him a forced polite smile, you decided it was best to let him talk while you sipped your tea. It was almost too sweet now to enjoy it, but since Diavolo went out of his way to prepare it, who were you to refuse the gesture just because it was a little sweet?

“Everytime they brought me a new one, I felt so lonely since you never responded. Eventually, Barbartos decided no more tea for me.” His laugh became even louder as you felt your stomach twist anxiously, not liking what you were hearing. 

“But now you’re here.” Diavolo’s eyes focused back on you, blinking innocently as if he didn’t just reveal that he caused quite an unnecessary troubles. He opened his mouth, breathing in visibly before he continued to speak, one of his hands coming down to lay on your free one resting in your lap. “Let’s not talk about the past anymore. We should think about what we want to do when you wake up instead!”

“When I wake up?” you questioned, confused. Was this a dream? Did Diavolo meet you while you were asleep still? But everything and even his touch felt so real and warm, it couldn’t be. “Well, I didn’t think I’d stay the night. There’s school tomorrow, right?” you chuckled jokingly, nudging him slightly, but when you continued to talk, your voice betrayed you, cracking as you felt a nervous pull inside of you.

“I... I just thought we could go for dinner later, so we have enough time to prepare for tomorrow at home.”

As if on cue, the moment you finished your sentence, you looked back at Diavolo, feeling suddenly very light-headed. “I heard you, [Name].” Diavolo spoke slowly, sounding a bit like he was talking to a toddler, trying to pronounce his words clearly. “But you said it. You’re not leaving this time, and a promise is a promise.”

“W-What... What’s going on... ?” 

Indifferent to your growing discomfort, Diavolo took the cup of tea from you, putting it down on the coffee table before inching closer to you. An arm wrapped around your shoulders while another pressed between your knees and the couch, all while you felt dizzy and dizzier, your body slowly but surely growing heavy. “I think I deserve some extra time with you, and tonight must suffice for now. Maybe even tomorrow? Let’s see how long the magic lasts. Do you like movies?”

Really, it was more of a monologue by now as you could barely manage to speak anymore, being hit by seemingly the weight of the world as Diavolo lifted you gently from the couch. “We could watch one of the new movies I sponsored. Rate if they did a good job.” Giggling like an excited child, your head fell against his chest, your breathing growing slow and steady despite the inner panic you felt just seconds ago. Your eyelids felt like they were solid blocks of cement, ready to bow to gravity and fall closed.

“I know, you're very tired, you don’t need to answer me right away. I promise we’ll have a lot of fun together later, and you can tell me if you like movies then. If not...” Diavolo’s words came to a halt while he carried you forward, doors opening for him with seemingly no effort as he simply kept going and going. But it was too hard to comprehend what was going on, only a feeling of fear and disapproval left bubbling inside of you for a few moments more. 

“If not, I am sure we’ll find something,” he promised with a wide grin on his face. You felt his lips connect with the top of your head briefly before a second wave of tiredness overcame you, this time too strong to resist. Your eyelids refused to open while your mind was lulled into a dreamless sleep, your limbs hanging loosely from Diavolo’s arms. The last thing you remembered wondering was what he was going to do with you, but luckily, you didn’t finish this thought and rode yourself into more anxiety than the situation already gave you.

If Levi’s envy, Satan’s wrath, and Lucifer’s pride - feelings that were ever so possessive over you - were awful in your opinion, then you should have known better than to rise all of them in the strongest Demon that currently existed. Unless, that was, if you wanted him to catch you like a mouse with a piece of cheese?

If that was the case, you achieved exactly what you wanted.

[ladyartemesia]

Fic recs for taehyung? I love your stuff btw I’ve read them all uwu

As a beacon of extra-ness in an already extra world, I am entirely incapable of just recommending fics like a normal blog. No. I’ve got to wax on like a bloomin connoisseur. I have compiled some (but not all) of my favorite works in several different categories and sorted them accordingly. This crazy list is so long I had to add a “keep reading”... but I simply couldn’t bear to leave any of these off the list. They are all so good!

Fics have been divided into 8 categories. Some are under the cut. 

 ▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨  ▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨ ▨ FANTASY ▨ ▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨ ▨ HYBRID and ABO (alpha/omega) ▨ ▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨ ▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨ ▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex) ▨ ▨

▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨

Insomnia by @hobiwonder

This is one of those fics I read and literally could not stop thinking about. It is wildly hot and honestly hilarious. Poor reader cannot sleep and the beautiful bro she’s tutoring offers a rather unconventional solution.

(Ego) Hoe Chronicles: KTH by @suga-kookiemonster

Listen. If you find a niche fan blog devoted entirely to Ego Tae... I’m not gonna say it’s mine. But it’s probably mine. I once told suga-kookiemonster that I would literally read a story about Ego Tae going grocery shopping on a Wednesday night and I stand by that. In this lurid romp, the reader falls into the clutches of everyone’s favorite bohemian sex lord and he rails her into another dimension.

Falling, Falling, Gone by @johobi

Pining (mutual or otherwise) is not really my thing, but I would straight up read Jo’s laundry list if she posted it. As usual I was blown away by how everything she does seems somehow better than any other version of it. This reader is really unique as well, and her relationship with the wildly popular soccer star Tae comes to a sexy and hilarious head at a sort of bachelor auction. With sharp dialogue, delightful subtext, and fantastic side characters, you really shouldn’t miss it. It’s pretty much perfect.

A Friendly Favor by @baeseoul

This is the classic “teach me some sex for another woman” trope and it is done so well. Sweet best friend Tae is looking to benefit from your experience, but his is not the only world about to be thouroughly rocked.

Officer Kim and the Criminal Crush by @ddaengyoonmin

This is one of the best twists on childhood friends to lovers I have ever seen. Tae grows up to become a cop and reader grows up to be a societal menace. I won’t spoil it, but it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia, tenderness, and smut. This fic technically doesn’t have a name so I had to give it one to link it. It’s part of an AMAZING series Zoe did that I also highly recommend.

Out of the Blue by @jimlingss

This is one of those stories that blooms throughout the narrative until you are left with this gorgeous flower at the end. I loved the journey of these two characters. It was real and it perfectly captures the experience of finding your soulmate in the person you least expect.

Sin Pijama by @brilliantlybasicb

This fic is a switch culture fic. It is wild wicked hot and this Tae is unreal. I love the way he lets the reader think she is in control just long enough. It is a wild romp with an adorable sequel and honestly you should read it.

Girls Like You by @jjiminah

I was in jjiminah’s asks IMMEDIATELY about this fic because I had FEELINGS. The reader begins wordlessly teasing and tempting Tae on their morning bus ride every day until he is literally losing his mind. Everything that follows is fire. Jjiminah has hinted she will wrote more for these two and I NEED IT.

Sighs and Sonnets by @btsaudge

This fic is beautiful. Like it’s basically art. This is a bad boy who is bad for you. But he has the soul of a poet and the stroke game of a renaissance master. Bittersweet and seductive, this fic is a full experience.

The Text by @taetaesbaebaepsae

Tae is your friend with benefits but it looks like feeling may have been caught by one or more parties. When you attempt to soothe your aching heart with another pretty boy, Tae decides to stake his claim. This was very sexy. The whole fic was sexy.

▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨

Monster by @neonlights92

Monster and all of its companion series about each of the boys is one of those fics that I reread constantly and also just think about constantly. This is one of the best mafia AUs out there and it’s characters are vivid and unforgettable. Tae’s stubborn resistance to his lovely new wife in contrast with her quiet, clever strength really brings this story to life. A word of warning. The masterlist links are a bit messed up. To read part two you must click on part three. And to read part three must click on part four. The link to part four is at the bottom of part three (or you can just search it on her site. It is definitely all there though).

Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash

There is a reason the incomparable Shanna is on this list three times. She is truly incomparable. This is childhood friends-to enemies-to spouses and it is wonderful. I adore this Tae. He is sharp and vulnerable and occasionally heavy handed, but truly a gem. This fic also features one of the best angry sex scenes I’ve ever run my eyeballs across.

▨ FANTASY ▨

Chism by @kpopfanfictrash

The world-building in this story is genuinely awe inspiring. You could write series upon series within this vivid universe. The god of Winter is missing and Summer’s heat burns unchecked for many years. The reader is a warrior with a unique ability tasked with guarding a very interesting prisoner. This story is so good. I mean it is really bloomin incredible. It’s hard to say what I liked best about it, because it was stellar across the board.

Obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash

In the pantheon of delicious Tae incarnations, Obsidian Taehyung is essentially unrivaled as a grey witch who moonlights as a sexy rock star. His extremely erotic clash with a white witch detective plays out as the two of them track down a sinister killer (with the help of some truly memorable side characters).

Out of this World by @ddaengyoonmin

This one is really unique. Tae is a merman scientist on the water planet of Neptune and when the reader and her misguided crew crash into his sea, he takes it upon himself to improve inter-species relations. This fic features excellent world building alongside several twists and surprises. Clever scientist Tae is downright irresistible.

▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨

Picking Flowers by @jamaisjoons

So this story is a journey - truly a beautiful one and it’s a gorgeous addition to the hanahaki genre. There is real pain and I cried real tears, but gosh it was so sexy and so worth it. I was surprised by how truly immersed I ended up in this piece. I lost track of everything else. The end is insanely satisfying, but the journey is really what makes this fic unmissable.

Until Yesterday by @jimlingss

This fic destroyed me slowly then slowly put me together again piece by piece. When I say I went through it - I WENT THROUGH IT. The story is loosely based on the movie “The Vow” and it is just fantastic. Beautiful and tender till the last word.

The Foolish Muse by @bibbykins

This is the story of someone who is deeply in love, but knows they deserve better. It is a sexy and evocative work with allusions to mythology that fit seamlessly into the narrative. I think my favorite part is Tae discovering how much the reader meant to him and what choices ultimately lead them to a really delicious conclusion.

Back to You by @ladyartemesia

The last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake again. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Kim Taehyung is the love of your life, until one day he disappears without a trace.

Vacancy by @ppersonna

This one is the only idol AU on the list and I normally don’t read those, but Lindy’s work is too good to miss in any setting. I am thrilled I took a look because what I found was a glimpse into a beautiful relationship that weathers and eventually overcomes the challenges of loving in the limelight. There is a LOT of emotional depth and symbolism which really elevates everything about this lovely story. The reader’s internal struggles in the face of her lover’s fame are extremely well done.

▨ HYBRID and ABO ▨ (alpha/omega)

Eye of the Tiger by @opaljm

I am beyond hype about this story which is (very) loosely inspired by Zootopia and features a cocky tiger Taehyung and a fiesty prey hybrid he needs to fake date in order to keep panther Jimin from murdering him. (Tiger Tae got a tad too frisky around Jimin’s mate and now things are dangerously awkward.) This story is already so freakin good. I cannot wait for the rest.

Silver and Blue by @taetaewonderland

What happens when you get on the wrong side of the right werewolf? Very sexy - very crazy times. Chronologically this is the first of the Silver and Blue series which follows barely civilized were-Tae through his courtship and eventually his relationship with the spunky reader. Holla to all my impreg kink homies. This is the fic for you.

Heat Run by @ladyartemesia

As I said before, the last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake twice. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Alpha lawyer V is a man of many secrets, but his well ordered reality spirals wildly out of control when he crosses paths with a fiery omega set on saving the world from his wicked ways.

Beautiful Stranger by @interludemoonchild

This was a wild ride from start to finish. Taehyung is a tiger hybrid shifter who escapes from the circus to be close to a veterinary student he bonded with. There is a lot of interesting twists and surprises in this one. I was definitely screaming at the end.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by @jingabitch

A very young wolf hybrid Taehyung adopts you as his pet human when you are just a kid. After Tae leaves to serve in the military he returns to an adult version of his sweet little princess and chaos ensues. Mind the tags for this one folks. It’s excellent, but there are very triggering themes throughout.

▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨

Level of Restraint by @lemonjoonah

This is not strictly a Tae fic in that he is only one of three major players in this twisted masterpiece. Lemon is the undisputed queen of the surprise twist and this one is truly brilliant. People dropped this fic in the discord calling it the best fan fiction they had ever read and I am not here to argue with them at all. Fair warning, every word - every inch of this fic is sexy and it’s delicious brand of titillation is wrapped around your psyche good and tight by the end.

Four by @luxekook

The quadruplets next door are fueling your very lurid fantasies. It turns out they have some fantasies of their own... You will need water if you read this fic. This is the original patented Kim Taehyung Horny Hive Mind 4D Experience™

▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨

The Heat Wave Series by @curly-bangtan

The original story (chapter 1) in this series is definitely famous, but I don’t know how many people have read all 9 chapters and if you haven’t, you are really missing the incredible journey of two very horny idiots stumbling recklessly towards real and amazing love. Everything is set off when the air conditioner breaks and a pair of wild roommates shed their inhibitions along with their clothes.

Flicker by @chimoona

So this fic started out with adorable neighbor dynamics and ended with erotic rope tying. Baby I was ABOUT IT. This was so bloomin hot and also like sweet and tender. Really a sexy and sentimental treasure.

Not Your Typical Flower Shop Story by @jungtaeyoongles

This story goes from ��aww” to “WHAT THE-” real quick. Fast paced plot and twist after twist turn the whole flower shop au upside down and then inside out. I can’t say more because spoilers but like - WOW.

▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC ▨ (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex)

Extracurricular by @ppersonna

One of my favorite professor-student AUs. The reader writes her gorgeous professor a borderline erotic analysis of several major works of art and he feels compelled to discuss it with her privately. Lindy really outdid herself on this one. It is scorchin. Professor Tae is actually really sweet and somehow that just makes the whole thing hotter.

Akrasia by @nitaescence

This is insanely hot. Emphasis on the insane because it’s basically a super erotic romp where you have sex with a man you don’t know (Taehyung) on a crowded public bus. I literally felt my blood pressure going up the longer I read. Whew.

The Client by @jungkookiebus

This one hit me right in the feels. Taehyung is a sweet and lonely man who has a standing Wednesday appointment with an upscale sex worker. As the story progresses, feelings become involved on both sides. When I say I am checking her page thrice daily for part three... This is so engrossing. And this Tae. I just want to hold him.

Daffodil Dreams by @sombreboy

Tread carefully ladies and gents. This story is excellent, but it is easily the darkest fic on the list and, if you choose to read it, please read the trigger warnings carefully. The reader is a psychologist called in to analyze a very dangerous criminal. As their sessions progress, however, several boundaries are crossed.

Obey by @jjkfire

Taehyung is the most feared and ruthless member of the local mafia and you are the world’s most inept escort. You needed a job, but had no real interest in sex work and you’ve managed to fly under the radar as a glorified waitress until Kim Taehyung himself walks into your agency and decides that you’re the only girl he wants. Oh my gosh I loved this story so much. It was downright amazing and there is a surprise at the end that makes everything even sweeter.

[rosecoloredwriting]

Best Friend Tings~

A/N: This idea came to me and then boom! This might be a whole series of headcanons i got so many ideas bro!!!! 

Summary: Sometimes in life having a best friend is better than getting a s/o 

Pairings: Izuku Midorya x GN!Reader(Platonic), Katsuki Bakugou x GN!Reader(Platonic), Shoto Todoroki x GN!Reader(Platonic), Hitoshi Shinso x GN!Reader(Platonic)

Izuku Midoriya

We can see from the show he didn’t have any friends before u.a(katsuki doesn’t really count)

So boy must have been lonely before ua like todoroki

He nerded out by himself, no one else to talk to other than mama inko

So meeting you made his life better

he’s up to date on meme culture too

You slide in one vine reference during a convo ONCE when you met and he responds back subconsciously with his own

Instant connection

Like lightning strikes and you both just do the spiderman pointing at each other meme

Vine might be dead but that won’t stop you

Both of you start turning into beams of light

He gets sparkle eyes when you both don’t stop with the vine references

Numbers exchanged and you both find out to be major nerds for certain shows

Late nights are spent sending each other memes/videos and the next day you both are holding in fits of giggles

When the dorms are put in place pure chaos

Yall are inseparable 

There’s a lot of sneaking around because guess what you’re doing instead of sleeping 

watching✨✨TikToks✨✨

Or watching those Russian car crash videos

You go into a youtube deep dive at 3 am together

One brain cell is shared between you two ok

Deku squad are the vibes ok

Ilida can’t believe how 2 of some of the smartest people he knows can turn the exact opposite

“Ilida can you do us a favor? Would you be willing to run while holding us like balloons?”

“What are you talking about!?”

“Ilida me and (Y/N) thought of having Uraraka join us by making us float and have a rope tied around us with you running around!”

“As your class president I will not allow you to do such a thing-!” Cutting him off you turn to Izuku

“I told he wasn’t gonna say yes.” Sighing in disappoint.

“Should we try Kacchan?” 

“I’ll do the talking got it!” You leave behind a dumbfounded Ilida wondering why his friends can be so smart yet do such stupid actions.

Do not be fooled though

You call out izuku when necessary, you both may be chaotic with one another but like hell!!!! you’ll let him slip up because you’re besties and actually have brain cells(sometimes)

From the glare you’re sending him he feels like a disappointment because he caused his bestie trouble and worry

In conclusion: Yall are ride or die

Were talking the strength of the pillars of those temples in Greece

Katsuki Bakugo

It kinda just happened before the classes eyes

Like no one gets how bakugo manages not to blast your eardrums everyday

He just somehow sees you’re genuinely trying to be friends with him and get to know him

At first, he thought you were some extra following him like the rest of Baku squad at first and somehow saw that you don’t see him godly or anything you just really enjoyed being around him

Slowly you both understand one another

He’s kinda scared cause I don’t think bakugo has ever been like close close with someone before

So it’s slow like his friendship with Kiri

Speaking of Kiri cause this is a package deal if your friends with bakugo

You both will just watch him when someone pisses him off 

“Someone tried to test him right,” you said while passing Kirishima a water bottle. Coming back from the vending machine.

“Yeah he did” he replies deadpanning at Bakugou’s antics

You may be mostly a duo but its also a trio sometimes

So when he gets captured there’s a 50/50 chance that he will come to you

you managed to get knocked out during the attack so seeing one another safe really just lifts the blanket of fear off

So when the dorms come in he will barge into your room and start up your console and play

This distraction won’t last long cause at some point he just sits there stuck in his head

He holds back tears but you just help him through

Really just strengthens your bond

From then on he comes to you and he’s very vague on details but you just comfort him

somehow you both from this experience learn how to read what the other is feeling

If you have something going on the perceptive as ever bakugo will see and somehow do the thing that just gives you a boost, he’s not either an intimate or verbal guy

He’s trying his best alright

The same goes for you in bakugo accept your just a tad slower and use your words instead 

Best friend soulmate ✨✨tings✨✨

One of your past times is either playing fighting games or just relaxing in his room

Like you both will lay on the ground, speaker blasting, taking turns putting on songs

Feeling the vibrations 

Its how the aggressive boy cools down/relaxes

Being angry all the time is tiring

One time you were in a room with someone as they insulted bakugou

Right in your face not only did you defend your best friend but you also whooped some ass that day

Conclusion: the best friends that just get each other 

Shoto Todoroki

(If you’re an endeavor stan I don’t know what to tell you for this one)

Now hear me out on this

You find Endeavor hilarious

He is just the funniest person to you

Like just looking at him makes you cackle

So when todoroki fights midoriya and he used his fireside everyone was shocked because no one has seen him use it yet!!

But when you see endeavor on the other side of the stadium scream “SHOTOOOOO!” you burst out full-on laughing!!! WHEEZING IF YOU MAY!! Like do you not see his face

When he came back to the stands you just turned to him holding in a laugh

“Hey, Todoroki how are you so serious all the time with your dad looking like that all the time?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Don’t get me wrong he was pissed because like baby just had a mental breakdown but this type of comment is new to him

“Don’t you see how ridiculous he looks with those flames of him like damn. Of all the places! Why his fckin calves!!!!! Like what kind of egotistical man does that”

Todoroki hates his dad so you bashing him really opens up doors for you

Now to me, I think todoroki throws insults at everyone without even knowing himself

Like under his breath he will say a comment you will catch it and hold in a laugh

So you bashing his father made you an a+ in his book

And so the duo begins

Since todoroki does insult people without knowing you are there to be his audience

You will stifle and hold in giggles and laughs as you stand right next or behind him

Once he realized this he subtly increases the amount he says on the daily(These arent basic insults either but they aren’t harmful, plain fun ok)

One time your laughing got to the point Aizawa threatened to separate you two

But still, you helped cracked the boy’s frozen heart

Lots of hugs though cause the boy needs it

Once you’re close enough in the friendship you jump and hug the boy in surprise

Gets a little startled but loves the gesture cause guess what yall are besties

Opening his door, Todoroki meets the sight of you holding a pile of food. Ready for movie night. Quickly placing it down on the coffee table you jump and give him a hug. He stumbles a moment before he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Why are you hugging me? We saw each other all day.”

“Just thought you needed it.” Mumbling a thank you you go to the coffee table. The surface spilling with bags of snacks.

“I have my soba and more if you want any. I even got those candies you like.”

“Really! Thanks Sho-kun! I also got those chips you really enjoyed the last time. So you ready?” With a hum you both sit down opening the food you'll be eating for the rest of the night. Grabbing the remote Shoto hits play, the screen lights up to show the Disney logo.

Many movie marathons and binge-watching nights because you need to show him so much

When these hangouts happen you have hardcore munches together

You both will have a buffet of food because boy does he love his soba and you love to do to bring an entire pile and bag full of food

Just appreciates you and all you do for him

Will definitely sneak in really expensive gifts to you

Loves to watch Disney movies with you 

Conclusion: you are the best friend he needs, he wouldn’t have you any other way

Hitoshi Shinso 

Both of you met in gen studies class

At this point, everyone in the class knew one another names and stuff and when word got to you of his quirk oh boy

He was minding his business sitting in his desk

Slightly wishing he was dead or wanting to vibe at home

But here you come strutting on over and say hi to him

He was kinda nervous cause everyone knew his quirk and just got all those villain comments

You just talk and say how cool his quirk is and he’s like ‘aw shit here we go again’

Instead, you just ask why he isn’t in the hero course

Like his quirk amazing for that shit

He’s shocked alright

So you both just stick together

You are his wild friend taking him on adventures as he complains saying he would rather watch a movie or do something

Low key in on your plans 

He trusts you with his life so don’t take advantage of that

Teases you on a regular basis

Is the type of friend where if he makes fun of or teases you 

You’re his friend

at the sports festival, you treat him to lunch because he deserves it!!!!

He made it to the last round

And fought MIDORIYA!!!

“You don’t have to do this you know.” Dragging Hitoshi around the food stands he tries his best to stop you from doing this. Even if it’s your treat he rather pay himself.

“Hitoshi I swear if you don’t just pick what you want for lunch I’m fighting you.”

“I’m being serious you don’t have too. I didn’t even win against him.” You come to a halt both hands on his shoulders. Looking him in the eye you reassure him.

“You may not have won but you made it to the 3rd round. Do you know how amazing that is! A general studies student made it that far! You did that! You showed everyone we might as well be just as good as the hero course students! As your best friend to, I must treat you for this accomplishment.” This time he grabs your wrist. Pulling you around until he sees a food stand that peaks his interest. A soft smile on his face happy to call you his friend and to have someone care for him like you do.

He is the reason why you're an insomniac now

When you blame him for your sleeping schedule he just says in the deepest and seductive voice “it was part of the plan”

Makes you want to punch that handsome face of his(but you wouldn’t you love the boy too much)

Sometimes you guys sneak cats in like your dorms just somehow manage to have cats in them

The fur is everywhere but their you fur babies

You both spend your time playing board games and sometimes inviting the deku squad cause Hitoshi has a pretty chill relationship with Izuku(plus their too social for their own good)

So things become waaaaaaaay more lively

Both of your social batteries though are completely empty

There is late-night cuddling though as weird as it sounds

when you take turns slipping in one another’s dorm you both manage to hug like it’s super platonic and just find it comforting waking up to one another

the bond so strong that you protect one another even when you sleep

Conclusion: the besties that mess around one another but are like this🤞

[themovieblogonline]

The Matrix Reloaded (Again!): Goddard Directs!

Matrix fans, hold onto your red and blue pills because a new chapter in the mind-bending saga is coming! Warner Bros. just dropped a bomb, announcing a fresh Matrix movie with the one and only Drew Goddard calling the shots. Drew Goddard, the mastermind behind "The Cabin in the Woods", The Daredevil Netflix series, and the Oscar-nominated "The Martian" screenplay, is writing and directing this new flick. That's right, the dude who brought us mind-blowing twists and epic sci-fi is about to unleash his take on the Matrix. If you know Goddard's work, you know we're in for a wild ride. Respecting the OG and Bringing Something Fresh Here's the best part: Lana Wachowski, the original co-director of the Matrix, is on board as an executive producer. So, we can expect the movie to honor the legacy of Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus while adding Goddard's unique vision to the mix. The big question on everyone's mind: will Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss return? There's no official word yet, but come on, it wouldn't be The Matrix without Neo and Trinity, right? Here's hoping the rest of the original crew joins the party too. More Matrix Means More Mind Games For those who haven't entered the Matrix yet (where have you been?!), the story follows a hacker named Neo who discovers the real world is just a simulation. Cue epic fight scenes, mind-bending visuals, and the question that keeps us up at night: what is real? Goddard himself is a huge Matrix fan, calling the Wachowskis' work "exquisite artistry" that continues to inspire him. That kind of passion is exactly what we need to take film franchise to the next level. With Goddard at the helm and Lana Wachowski's guidance, this new Matrix movie has the potential to be legendary. So, get ready to dodge bullets, bend reality, and question everything you know once again. The Matrix is back! The World of The Matrix The Matrix isn't your average sci-fi flick. Keanu Reeves stars as Neo, a hacker who stumbles upon a shocking truth: the world he lives in is actually a computer simulation. Whoa! With the help of Morpheus (played by Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss), Neo ditches his boring life and joins the fight against the machines that control the Matrix. Bullet-dodging action sequences, mind-blowing special effects, and the question of what it means to be human make The Matrix a must-watch for anyone who ever felt like something just wasn't right about their cubicle job. The sequels delve deeper into this reality-bending world, but that's a story for another day. Just know this: The Matrix will have you questioning everything you thought you knew. (Source: Deadline) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPCWoGfnjLY Read the full article

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #30 - The Cybertronian Judicial System is a Friggin’ Joke

Have I mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of court case stories? I think they’re pretty boring, on average, so the last couple of issues have been slightly dragging for me.

Anyway, back to Megatron’s trial. 

Our issue opens up with a full back shot of Ultra Magnus.

Artists take note, he really is built like a capital T.

As Magnus reads out Megatron’s statement retracting his “guilty” plea, we get some decent points as to why. See, telling a guy that you’ll stab him in the brain, so his trial can be over as quickly as possible, maybe isn’t such a hot idea. Megatron wasn’t a huge fan of that, or of how those memories they would’ve yanked outta him would have been used to fuel the Autobot propaganda machine. Why, you may ask?

Well, I don’t know if you knew this or not, but Megatron… doesn’t particularly care for the Autobots, nor the rhetoric they uphold.

I know, I was surprised too!

There’s also the fact that Optimus Prime is the judge on this whole thing. You know. Optimus Prime. Off and on leader of the Autobots, whenever it suits him. The guy who fucked off into space for a year after the war. The guy who threw a hissy fit when someone pointed out that he was compromised the last time they did something like this with Megatron. This guy:

Yeah, there might be a slight conflict of interests here. Remind me again why this had to be a military trial?

Anyway, enough of that, it’s time for a fight scene.

A swarm of Decepticons storm the arena, going after Megatron so they can help him escape. Magnus, though acting as Megatron’s defense, cannot abide by this disorder in the court.

Wild to think there’s a tiny little Pringles man with anxiety in there, isn’t it?

Optimus joins the fray, because there really are, just, so many guys to deal with here. A dude goes to collect Megatron, stating that they brought teleport packs for this little shindig. Megatron isn’t super jazzed about that though, not bothering to grab on before the dude gets shot to death. There’s a brief recess, I guess so the janitorial staff can deal with the mess of corpses littering the courtroom.

Meanwhile, in the present day, Rung’s building a model spaceship in Swerve’s, which is a very brave thing to be doing, seeing how sticky and gross bars can be. Brainstorm’s brought a flask to the bar, and proceeds to pour the contents into a funnel sticking out of his arm.

Our bartender for the evening- I’m assuming it’s evening, but I doubt the concept of time has any real weight in space- is Bluestreak. Bluestreak was stationed on Earth for a while, which is some Phase One stuff, and took a liking to human media while he was there. He’s the guy who handles movie night these days, seeing as Rewind’s too busy being dead to do it, and I doubt Chromedome has the emotional bandwidth to take over for his late spouse.

Bluestreak’s favorite movie is Zulu, a film glorifying the colonialism of the English over the native populace of an African kingdom. Make of that what you will.

Whirl wants to watch À Bout de Soufflé, or Breathless, as it was translated for the English-speaking world, which is a French New Wave film about a criminal who shoots a cop, hides from the police in a journalist’s home, who he seduces and likely impregnates. She eventually finds out what he did, reports him to the police, but then has a change of heart and lets him know what she’s done. He runs, but is shot, and dies in the street. The film is notable for its final scene, in which the following dialogue happens, between the dying criminal Michael, his lover Patricia, and an officer.

Of course, any poignancy would almost certainly be lost on the average comic book reader, and is also somewhat nullified by Whirl praising the film with internet lingo.

Then again, I suppose Whirl would be the type to dismantle any deeper reading of his interest in such a film, lest he be subjected to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Over with Skids and Riptide, it’s revealed that Megatron’s been teaching classes on the Lost Light, specifically on the Knights of Cybertron. Riptide’s getting an education, because he’s been feeling pretty lost since the war ended- we’ll get to the potential whys of that later on. Swerve isn’t a fan of this community college thing that’s going on, stating that Megatron’s using it as a distraction, so he can devise plots most foul.

Back in the past, Autobot high command is having a talk about what Megatron’s demanding, and man is it a doozy— turns out, since the trial’s happening on Luna 2, the trial proceedings are subject to the laws of the moon. One of these moon laws is the right to request being judged by the Knights of Cybertron. Now, this is a problem, seeing as the Knights of Cybertron have been AWOL for the last several million years, but the law is the law, and you can’t just go ignoring it when someone’s pointed it out.

Bro, your SIC just suggested y’all pull the trial so you could slap it on Cybertron, thus negating any need to pay attention to the Knight law. That’s such a gross miscarrying of justice, it’s genuinely baffling. You’ve got bigger issues going on than flouting. My god, Optimus, you were a cop—

Oh wait, that’s right. Carry on, then.

Back on the Lost Light, First Aid’s checking to make sure that the coffin Rodimus they revealed last issue is true and proper dead. Now, this may seem like a given, but you’ve got to remember that Brainstorm was mostly dead for over a year and a half, and nobody fucking noticed, so it’s probably for the best that they’re checking.

First Aid’s been pretty withdrawn since Ambulon died, so this autopsy is really good for him, since it got him out of his room. Pretty fucked up that it would take a dead body to get him out and about. Has Rung checked in on his poor son of a gun, or has he been spending the last six months getting his professional rocks off psychoanalyzing a genocidal warlord?

Our coffin Rodimus died from having parts of his brain removed, and potentially died screaming.

Yes, that is a Furmanism, thank you peanut gallery, moving on—

Ratchet hands the phone over to Ultra Magnus, saying that a call has to be made, and it can’t be by him, because the callee is mighty upset with Ratchet at the moment.

Oh, I guess he’s fine after all. This must be where the sci-fi bullshit really starts kicking in for the series.

Because seeing your own dead body is likely very traumatic and awful, Rodimus is taking a while to string together his thoughts on the matter. Megatron doesn’t particularly care, because he’s not terribly sympathetic to this sort of thing, and the two get into a spat, where it’s revealed that they’re co-captaining the Lost Light.

Because things weren’t chaotic enough on this fucking ship. Need to mix in some peacocking between the McDonalds twunk and the man who killed half of Beijing.

Back in the past, Optimus Prime visited Megatron in prison to have a little chat. It’s not about that little rescue attempt, though the fact that those Decepticons may have been released from the Lost Light’s brig is certainly interesting. No, Optimus is here to sit way too close to his mortal nemesis on the floor of his room and talk about how Megatron is a sneaky bastard.

You remember the Hellraiser puzzle box from a couple issues back? Yeah, that was a communicube, one that was passed to Optimus to suggest that the trial be held on the moon, so the arena there would be able to hold all the people wronged by Megatron. This seems pretty damn convenient in hindsight, but Megatron swears that the legal loophole wasn’t his only intent when he sent the cube.

Because it’s all about you, isn’t it, Megatron? It’s all about how you’re perceived by future generations. Fuck the guys who had to actually deal with what your personal choices caused to happen.

Megatron wants to make amends with all those who were wronged by him. This doesn’t include being acquitted of his crimes, which, y’know, good- at least he’s being slightly realistic about how this is going to turn out for him.

What he wants to do is find Cyberutopia, so the Cybertronians have a replacement planet, since Cybertron kind of sucks now.

Oh, sorry, did I say realistic? I take it back.

In the present, Rodimus is still bummed out about being dead. Still, the day doesn’t stop just because it’s a bad one, and he calls in the experts.

CHROMEDOME YOU PROMISED TO STOP THIS SHIT

Yeah, no, Chromedome’s fallen off the wagon again, and does his thing on the coffin Rodimus. As he does, Megatron suddenly gets squeamish, Brainstorm pulls out his early early-warning device to lean on the fourth wall, and it’s revealed that the coffin that coffin Rodimus was in was built in the fashion of the Spectralist faith.

All Chromedome can suss out of coffin Rodimus’ memories is the really big important stuff, which includes the speech at Rivet’s Field inviting folks to come join the Knight Quest. Aww, that’s sweet.

With the analysis of the innermost energon complete, the results are in— the coffin Rodimus is a Rodimus. A real one, from the near future. Bummer.

I suppose denial is one of the seven stages of grief, isn’t it?

As everyone argues over whether or not Rodimus is going to die, Nightbeat brings up a good point— there aren’t any numbers carved into the coffin Rodimus’ hand. Rodimus is about to reveal some Ratchet-original wisdom, when things start getting really weird; whole sections of the Lost Light are disappearing.

Over at Swerve’s, Tailgate is regaling his peers with the story of his derring-do against Chief Justice Tyrest. Everyone is very impressed, and this includes our good buddy Getaway.

Jeez, think you’ve got enough antagonist shadows on this guy? It’s almost as if the art’s trying to tell us something about him.

Getaway lays it on real thick, saying that Tailgate could totally be the next Prime, with how courageous and awesome he is, all while completely ignoring Tailgate’s personal space and having a weirdly tiny hand. This seems to seriously bother Cyclonus, who is watching this shit go down from the doorway. Our purple space jet leaves once the drinks start being poured and conversation starts happening. God knows he hates talking about his insecurities.

Then the Pipes is Friggin’ Dead alarm goes off. But Pipes has been dead for a while now, so that must mean something else awful is happening.

Back during the trial, I guess because Optimus has a soft spot for Megatron, he allows him to join the Lost Light’s Knight Quest… even as he says that he could keep the guy locked up until Rodimus and pals find the Knights. However, there are rules to this, and one of the rules is that Megatron must publicly denounce the Decepticon cause.

It is a slow and painful experience for everyone involved, as he reads the statement he was given. It’s an immediate call to action- or rather, inaction.

Geez, think they could’ve made it any more obvious that this was being ghostwritten? I can’t wait to see how long it takes for “Megatron was blackmailed into saying this by the Autobots” to be a plotpoint.

Outside the prison, Ratchet and Rodimus are taking in the brand new Rod Pod, which is genuinely ridiculous in how large it is. Rodimus admits to having taken Atomizer’s list, though he knows that trying to use it to keep those who voted him off would be a pretty shitty thing to do.

Also, no one’s told him about Megatron coming along on the trip. As captain.

Or you could, I dunno, lock him up from the start. Or, if you want to give him a chance to prove himself, slap him into a bottom-rung role, like bilge cleaner, or sewage mucker, or whatever the equivalent would be on a spaceship full of giant gay robots. We don’t have to give the guy any power to hold him to scrutiny— any minimum wage worker will tell you that scrutiny comes far harsher for those who actually carry out orders than those who give them.

But what do I know? I’ve never fought in a several million year war, and I don’t plan to.

Getting back to the list, it seems as if Ratchet and Rodimus are on the same wavelength, in that both agree it’s only going to cause trouble and hurt feelings to keep the thing around. Rodimus destroys it with his usual flare, only to be blindsided by the fact that it was fake this entire time. How does Ratchet know this?

Because his name wasn’t on it.

...Man, that’s gotta sting. No wonder Rodimus was upset enough to not take his calls.

In the present, everyone’s in a panic, as they all bolt for the shuttle bay and start pouring into shuttles. The Lost Light is disintegrating around them, which is sort of a problem. Despite this nightmare scenario happening, Rodimus and Megatron still find the time to be assholes to each other. That’s dedication right there.

As the two bicker, multiple shuttles zip away from the rapidly disappearing ship, including the Rod Pod.

Man, now it really is the Lost Light.

[adamwatchesmovies]

That Awkward Moment (2014)

With the talented cast of That Awkward Moment, I was optimistic. Unfortunately for them -and anyone watching- every once of charisma the actors possess has been sucked away by this unfunny, predictable, contrived would-be romantic comedy that contains no insights into relationships.

Jason (Zac Effron) and Daniel (Miles Teller) are swingin’ bachelors who go to the same bar every night but still manage to pick up new ladies when they’re not ragging on their third musketeer, Mikey (Michael B. Jordan). When he admits to them that his wife has been having an affair, the friends make a promise to stay single and enjoy each other’s company for as long as they can. This proves difficult when Jason meets Ellie (Imogen Poots), Daniel realizes his female wingman Chelsea (Mackenzie Davis) is “the one”, and Mikey’s wife, Vera (Jessica Lucas) suddenly takes a renewed interest in his willingness to act wild.

As a general rule, I despise these “bros before hos” movies; derivatives of Superbad that try to imitate its crudeness and rude humor without understanding what made the 2007 film work. Here's a fact: if a friendship vanishes because you've met someone, you two weren’t that good of friends. Did a Martian write this film? I’m asking because human beings lock the bathroom door and don’t assume the women they meet in bars are prostitutes. Even if they did, they wouldn’t handle it as horrifically as Jason does. It isn’t normal for guys to want their buddies to stay away from normal relationships. Then again, this story has no idea what normal is. Dudes don’t go to the bathroom together so they can admire their junk while at the urinal. When you walk into a room and interrupt two people having sex, people react strongly.

Jason, Daniel, and Mikey must be some of the dumbest, most unlikeable protagonists ever to appear in a romantic comedy. These morons are taking their stupid pledges seriously enough to ruin family dinners, deep-rooted relationships, and public events. They’re so juvenile and inconsiderate that it's like someone decided to make a romantic comedy from the point of view of the evil boyfriend that normally gets dumped before the last act. If this were a parody, it might have been clever but of course, the plot inevitably metamorphoses them into normal humans to force the foregone conclusions to come “naturally”.

The objective of a romantic comedy should be to make for a good date. You bring a guy or gal to the theatre, you see beautiful people fall in love and it makes you feel all warm inside. You want to imitate what they’re doing and keep the date going, or book a second one! If that was the objective of That Awkward Moment, it fails spectacularly. Sure, there are plenty of shots of Zac Effron and Michael B. Jordan without their shirts on, but the film is so juvenile in its portrayal of the relationship between men and women I doubt your date will want to stick around for the end credit bloopers, much less another evening with you. (On DVD, August 23, 2017)

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

~~

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂😂

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot