#move to my gay mansion

[mindmelter]

Felix The Perfect Toy

Felix was the hottest jock in my school. Everyone knew who he was and everyone wanted to be his friend.

And I was no different; I was obsessed with his good-looking face, his fit athletic body, and his loud yet charismatic personality, and he had this casual, effortless way of carrying himself like he didn’t even realize how perfect he was.

But it’s not just the looks. Felix is different. While the other popular guys are absolute douchebags, Felix is kind, even to people like me. He could have anyone he wanted—everyone wants to be around him—but he never treats anyone like they’re beneath him. That’s what makes him even more attractive: he’s not just the best-looking guy in school, he’s actually good. It’s maddening how perfect he is.

I dreamed of having him all for myself, but I could barely approach him without having a full-blown panic attack. I knew someone like him would never pay attention to someone like me.

He was the captain of the school's swim team which gave him a fit athletic body to fantasize and drool all about.

Every time I watched him swimming, my mind would wander, fantasizing about licking the water on his body, tasting his hairy armpits, or finally seeing what he hides under those speedos. Unfortunately, that was all he was to me; a fantasy.

When my parents died when I was twelve, I moved in with my very wealthy grandfather. At first, he seemed like a frightening and enigmatic figure—an imposing man of few words, as people would say. But as the years passed, I gradually grew accustomed to his unique personality.

I never knew what he worked for, how he became so rich, or why he was always traveling, which consequently would leave the mansion all to myself. It was lonely, I will admit, I had no one else to share that beautiful mansion with.

One day we were having breakfast together. He was wearing a black robe, flipping through the newspaper with his usual silence, rarely acknowledging me. I sat across from him, stirring my coffee absentmindedly, my mind wandering back to Felix, as it often did.

"You seem distracted," my grandfather said without looking up.

I froze, unsure how to respond. I never talked about my feelings, especially not around him. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who cared about teenage crushes.

"Just... thinking about school," I muttered.

He lowered the paper slowly, folding it neatly before setting it aside. His cold gaze fixed on me, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat. “You’re not a very good liar, boy. What’s on your mind?"

“It’s… this guy,” I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. I could feel my face heating up.

He already knew I was gay, so that wasn't a surprise to him.

“A guy?” he repeated, almost as if testing the word. "Go on."

"Yeah, a guy from school," I said, avoiding eye contact with him, “Felix. He’s... I don’t know, he’s just... perfect. And completely out of my league.”

My grandfather remained silent, his eyes never leaving mine. I couldn’t tell if he was judging me or just waiting for me to keep going.

“I mean,” I continued, unable to stop myself now that I’d started, “he’s popular, everyone loves him. He’s the captain of the swim team, and… well, I like him. A lot. But there’s no way he’d ever notice me. I’m... no one compared to him.”

For a long moment, my grandfather just watched me, his expression unreadable. Then, he gave a small, almost imperceptible nod.

“I see,” he said slowly. “So you have feelings for this... Felix. You wish you could have him?"

I nodded, feeling embarrassed for even admitting it. "Yeah. But like I said, he’s way out of my league.”

There was a strange look in my grandfather’s eyes, a glint of something I couldn’t quite place. He stood up from the table, smoothing his robe as he moved toward the door.

“Enjoy your breakfast,” he said cryptically before disappearing into the hallway.

I didn’t think much of it at the time. I thought maybe he was just being his usual mysterious self.

A week later, it was my 18th birthday, but it could as well be any other day since I had no one to spend my birthday with, not even my grandfather, as he was still traveling.

That day at school, I noticed Felix had missed all his classes. That was odd since he had swimming practice that day. I was sad because I was eager to watch him getting all wet in the pool that day; it would be my birthday gift.

Later that day I came back home from school. The house was eerily quiet, as it often was.

When I opened the door to my room, the sight stopped me dead in my tracks. There, in the middle of my room, was a large and long box. Confused, I approached it cautiously, there was a red present lace on top of the box, I pulled it off and slowly opened the box, and inside I saw... I let out a scream and fell to the floor.

My breath caught in my throat.

Felix?

He was motionless with his eyes open, while he was wearing a white tank top and black shorts. He looked perfect, too perfect—like a doll.

I backed away, my heart thudding in my chest. "W-what the hell...?"

This couldn't be Felix; it must be an identical replica of his body, I thought. There was only one way to find out. I slowly approached him and ran my hand on his face, and I felt his soft and warm skin. It was really him, but somehow... different. His eyes were empty, and his body was unnaturally stiff. I gently placed my hand on his chest and felt a heartbeat. It was very slow... actually, too slow for a person—one beat for every five seconds—but at least he had a heartbeat.

A low chuckle came from the doorway. I turned and saw my grandfather standing there with a grin on his face. He stepped inside the room, his cold eyes drifting between me and Felix.

"I see you’ve found your gift."

I swallowed hard, "What... what did you do to him?"

"Consider it your birthday present," he said, "I couldn't let my grandson put himself down over a dumb boy, now you have him."

I stared at him, speechless.

"You don’t have to be alone anymore. He will keep you company when I'm out traveling. He’s yours now, exactly how you wanted."

"But... he’s not... he’s not real, he can't be real!" I stammered.

My grandfather smiled. "Oh, he’s real. But let’s just say I’ve made some... modifications to his brain." He stepped closer, looking down at Felix with a clinical detachment. "You can do whatever you like with him. He won’t resist. He was programmed for obedience only. He sees himself now as a toy, and you as his ultimate owner. Isn’t that what you wanted?"

*Programmed for obedience?* The thought of it sent a shiver down my spine, but not in a bad way.

I glanced up at my grandfather, and for once, I didn’t feel like I had to hide my feelings. “You... did this for me?” My voice cracked. I could barely believe what I was seeing. Felix—*my* Felix—was lying right in front of me, his perfect body ready and waiting.

My grandfather nodded, his expression still cold, but there was something else in his eyes—satisfaction.

"Of course, the way you spoke about him, I know what it means to desire something so deeply, you feel powerless. So I decided to remove that powerlessness for you."

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, my eyes never leaving Felix’s perfectly still body inside the box, “I’ve... I’ve wanted this for so long, but I never thought...”

My grandfather chuckled, “No need for words, boy. Just enjoy your present, he’s been prepared for you.”

I stepped closer to the box, Felix's features were serene while he stared at nothing. He wasn’t just a fantasy anymore—he was real, and he was mine.

I reached out, my hand trembling as my fingertips brushed against his handsome face. Warm. Awake. And yet completely not.

“He won’t... fight me?” I asked, almost breathless.

“No,” my grandfather replied. “He’ll do exactly as you say. He’s been modified to please you, to follow your every command.”

I turned to my grandfather and smiled. “Thank you,” I said.

My grandfather gave a small nod. "I knew you'd understand. You're my blood, after all. Just remember to never let him out of the house. He's still missing as far as everyone knows. You're 18, so he's your responsibility now."

I looked down at Felix again, feeling a sense of ownership, of power, that I had never felt before. My fantasies were no longer just in my head—they were right here, ready to be made real.

As my grandfather turned to leave the room, he paused at the door, giving me one last glance over his shoulder. “Oh, and there's a manual in the box, enjoy your present."

Once he was out of my room, I locked the door for privacy. Then I picked Felix up from the box. His body was heavy, as expected, but after some hard effort, I managed to drag him to my bed.

Just for fun, I posed his right arm, making him flex.

He looked so serene, so peaceful like he was asleep. But his eyes, those beautiful eyes that I had dreamt about, stared into nothingness. They were the only indication that something was wrong—or right—with him.

I couldn't hold any more second and started to undress him, first taking off his white tank top, then I pulled down his shorts. I was surprised to see he was wearing his swimming speedos.

He probably was abducted after his swimming practice. His body was even more amazing from closer, and to think that for so long, I just watched him from afar...

The realization of having Felix lying on my bed made me start leaking.

I lifted both his arms into a flexing pose.

A smile crept onto my face as I buried my face into his armpits and took a deep sniff, but I was disappointed; he didn't smell like I was expecting to. I wanted to smell his sweaty, musky armpits, but instead, he smelled faintly like a factory or a lab.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I had to figure out how to make him more 'alive'; I needed him to produce the sweat I was so looking forward to sniffing and lick. I wanted him to act more like the real Felix.

That's when I remembered about the manual my grandfather talked about, the instructions were surprisingly detailed. It was like a manual for a very expensive, very human-like sex doll. But this wasn't a doll; this was Felix. After searching for a while, I found a section titled "Activation and Customization."

"To activate your toy, you must press a button installed in your toy's nape. This will initiate the awakening process," the instructions said. I quickly started searching Felix's stiff neck for the button, finally, my fingertips found a small, unnoticeable button hidden under his skin at the base of his neck.

I took a deep breath and pressed it. Nothing happened at first until his eyes fluttered and started to roll in circles as if it was imitating a loading icon.

Suddenly, Felix's body jerked to life. He looked around the room with a vacant expression, his pupils dilating as he took in his surroundings. I watched, frozen, as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"H-Hello, Felix," I managed to say, my voice quivering.

He stared at me, his gaze unflinching and his movements mechanical. "Hello, Master," he responded in a monotone voice. "I'm your toy, Felix. How may I serve you?"

"Ummm, can you... Can you act more like the old... umm, real Felix?"

I watched as his eyes started to swirl again; he then looked at me—the same look that I had seen countless times at school when he was about to tease someone or when he was flirting with the girls. "I'm sorry for acting weird, dude," he chuckled, his voice sounding so much more natural, he then smirked and looked around my room. "That's a nice room you have, did you win the lottery or something?" He joked.

"Well, kinda... ummm... but you are definitely my best prize so far," I said, It was funny how I was still nervous about talking with him, even though I knew he was my brainless toy now. "So, how do you feel?"

Felix rubbed his head and chuckled. "I feel fine, man. A little stiff, but I guess that's to be expected after being in a box all day." He looked down at his body, then looked at me with an eyebrow raised, "But, dude, what the fuck? Why am I in only my speedos?"

I blushed and stumbled over my words. "Well, you know, you don't have to wear clothes around me, you're my toy now."

Felix relaxed, "You're right, I don't have to wear clothes around you." With that, he stood up and pulled down his speedos, revealing his big soft cock. I gasped at the sight.

"W-what are you doing?" I stuttered, my eyes glued to his cock.

"You said I don't have to wear clothes around you, speedos are technically clothes, aren't they?" He said with a cheeky smile.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

He walked over to me, his cock swinging gently with every step. He was so close that I could feel his warm breath on my face. "So, what do you want to do with me, dude? I'm your toy, and as a toy, I deserve to be played with."

"I-I would like you to do push-ups for me, p-please," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

Felix nodded and dropped to the floor, his muscles rippling as he pushed himself up and down. I watched, mesmerized, as he performed the task with ease.

"Is this what you had in mind?" He asked, looking up at me with a smirk while still doing push-ups.

I nodded, my cock now rock hard in my pants. "Yes," I managed to say. "It's exactly how I fantasized for so long," I pulled my hard cock out and started jerking off to the sight of my crush, obeying my every command.

For so long I had jerked off to Felix's photos, and now here he was, in the flesh, doing push-ups in front of me. The reality was so much better than any of my fantasies. I couldn't believe this was really happening.

After almost one hour of nonstop push-ups, Felix's amazing body was glistening with sweat. The smell was starting to fill my room, it was heavenly! He looked up at me with a hint of exhaustion in his eyes, I kinda wanted to know how far he could keep doing pushups, but I didn't want to break my new toy.

"That's enough Felix, sit on that chair over there with your hands behind your head. I want to taste your sweaty armpits."

"Yes Master." Felix obeyed immediately, sitting down with his arms behind his head and looking up at me expectantly.

My cock bobbed as I walked to him and sat on his lap; I leaned down and took a deep breath, filling my nose with the musky scent of his armpits. I then slowly stuck my tongue out and licked the saltiness from his skin, savoring the taste of the most popular jock in my school. His body tensed, but he didn't move away.

"That's so disgusting dude, how can you get off by licking the dirty armpits of another dude?!" He exclaimed with a mix of shock and confusion, but he didn't resist.

I chuckled and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "It's not just any armpit, Felix. It's yours."

After spending the entire evening sniffing and licking every inch of Felix's sweaty body, I decided it was time to take things to the next level. "Alright, Felix," I said, getting off from him, "I want you to lift your legs and spread them, keep your hands behind your head."

Felix looked at me with a mix of curiosity and confusion, but he did as he was told, his body now programmed to obey his new owner.

"That's so humiliating," he murmured.

My heart was racing. This was it—the moment I had been dreaming of for so long. I looked down at him, his body now mine to explore and use as I wished. "Don't worry," I whispered, trying to reassure him, "you're going to enjoy this, I promise."

I leaned in between his legs and kissed him softly. His body tensed up, he clearly wasn't happy about kissing another guy, but he didn't pull away and just let me explore his mouth. Encouraged, I deepened the kiss, my tongue sliding into his mouth and exploring it as he lay there, unmoving. "That's fucking gross.... uuurrghh, I'm not gay," he mumbled against my lips.

"It doesn't matter if you are gay or straight, Felix," I whispered as I continued jerking him off, "You're my toy now."

He stared at me, his eyes wide with a mix of fear and anger. "What the fuck, man? I'm nobody's toy!" He breathed out, his voice cracking slightly.

The programming really did a good job at mimicking Felix's real straight personality. Ignoring his protests, I reached down and grabbed his cock, stroking it gently, but he wasn't getting hard, of course he wouldn't, I thought with a chuckle.

"Get hard for me," I commanded, watching his cock swell in my hand. "Does this feel good?"

Felix let out a moan, his body betraying his protests. "No, it...uurrghhh... it doesn't," he gritted out, his voice filled with need.

"Then let's try this," I aimed my cock against his tight ass, I felt his body tense up, but before he could react, I inserted the tip, feeling his muscles clench around me.

"What the fuck!" He shouted, trying to sit up, but I pushed him back down gently.

"Don't move," I whispered, "I want you to love this. Remember, you're not just my toy, you're my sex toy. Your purpose is to give me pleasure."

I watched Felix's eyes rolling in circular movement for a few seconds, then he suddenly looked at me with needy puppy eyes.

"Aawwwwwwghhh! This feels so fucking good! I love how you fill my ass, dude!" He moaned.

I grinned and pushed deeper inside him, feeling his tight straight ass envelop my shaft. I began to thrust in and out of him, setting a slow, deliberate rhythm. His moans grew louder and louder; the command for him to love it was really proving to be effective.

As I fucked him, I couldn't believe how perfect it felt. Soon I was fucking him real hard, my hips slapping hard against his ass, the sound echoing through my room. As I thrust inside him, I leaned in and buried my face in his armpits. I took deep sniffs as I heard Felix's moans grow louder and more desperate.

"You're mine Felix, forever!" I moaned against his armpits as I came inside him.

While I was still inside of him, I commanded him to cum, but just when he was in the middle of his orgasm, I pressed the button in his nape, and he froze mid-orgasm, his face now frozen with his eyes rolling back and tongue sticking out.

But I was surprised to see his cock was still shooting cum all over his abs, some even landed on his face and tongue. I guess the programming isn't able to stop an ongoing orgasm.

Pulling away, I looked down at him, lying on the chair with his body covered in sweat and cum leaking from his ass. His handsome face, was now distorted in a mindless dumb expression.

I decided to give him a bath, to clean off the sweat and cum that covered him, but also because he still had some of the "factory" smell on him.

I filled the tub with warm water and called him to get inside the bathtub. He was in his mindless, obedient state; that was his default mode. I wasn't in the mood to bathe a loud and rebellious toy.

His eyes were glazed over as I cleaned his body, it was so cute.

As I washed his pecs, I couldn't help but playfully pinch his nipples. I continued my exploration, moving down to his abs and then to his hard cock, which was still hard since I first commanded him to be.

"You're such a good toy," I praised, giving his shaft a gentle tug. "I've always loved you, Felix, yet you never noticed me," I whispered as I washed his hair with shampoo, "you were always surrounded by so many friends and busy with girls, why would you notice someone like me, right?" I said, washing his pecs and abs. He didn't respond since he was in default mode, but I wasn't expecting him to. "I'm so glad we have each other now. I promise we will have a lot of fun together."

When I was finished, I told him to step out of the bath and sit so I could dry him. As I was drying his muscles, an idea suddenly came to me. I pressed his nape and gave him a command...

After I was done with the command, he tilted his head and smiled at me.

"Why use a towel, Master? Use your tongue to dry my sexy body." He then pulled the towel from his lap, giving me full access to his throbbing shaft, "And I think you should start with my cock."

__________________________

I've been enjoying my new toy for months now.

Felix's disappearance is commented on to this day, no one knows what happened to him after he left the swimming practice. Somehow, the organization in which my grandfather worked managed to clear all the evidence of his disappearance from that night.

I was back home after a boring day at school, and like every day since I got Felix as my toy, I spent the day looking forward to coming back home to him.

As I walked into my room, I was greeted with the sight of Felix "sleeping" on a chair.

He always spends the day "Inactivated" when I am out. I walked to him and pressed his nape, activating him.

When he saw me he gave me a warm smile and stretched his arms, teasing me by showing his armpits.

"Welcome back Master, please come take your daily dose of your toy's armpits."

[a-simple-imagine]

Too Cute to be Angry

Synopsis: A night spent talking to politicians and alt right superheroes is enough to drive anyone crazy but it's sister sage that puts you over the edge

Pairing: Victoria Neuman x fem!supe!reader (feline shifter)

Words: 3k+

A/N - self ingulgent little cat girl fic with my favourite supe written entirely for myself :)

WARNINGS - swearing, brief mention of murder and homophobia

Victoria Neuman was the busiest woman you know. if she wasn't spending her days in meetings or on Zoom calls, she was attending interviews or making speeches. she was a very driven woman. had big goals. ones you could hardly even fathom but not from lack of trying. you wanted to be part of her world but at the same time, it was so difficult to comprehend. it's not as simple as black and white. the people she surrounded herself with weren't always the best and for the most part, it's clear she tries to keep you out of it. possibly some misguided attempt to protect you.

it was a rare afternoon that was cleared just for you. nobody else around. no work calls or meetings. just the two of you sharing a quiet moment. laying on the couch with your head in her lap.A delicate hand scratches behind the feline ears that live upon your head. it feels good; and calming.a sluggish but continuous rhythm that was drawing you to drowsiness. She wouldn't mind. it wouldn't be the first time nor the last that you fell asleep on her.

"babe,"

"yeah?"

"how would you feel about going out tonight?" the answer was no. it was always going to be no. you were too content with a quiet evening to suddenly have plans thrust upon you.

"Where?" you question anyway and her hand slows.

"Tek knights." a mumbled answer that your ears pick up loud and clear. she couldn't be serious right now. there is absolutely zero reason why she would be going to see Tek Knight for anything but business and she already promised you no business tonight. it was just gonna be the two of you.

"Are you... serious?"

"some fancy party."

"no," replied snappily. "dude is creepy."

"When have you ever met tek knight?"

"once actually," you state, moving yourself up to look at her. "and he was fucking weird- asked inappropriate questions about my tail." you swish your tail, gently grazing it against her cheek.

"Well, you can just avoid him all night," Victoria insists, shoving your tail away. "I'd really like you to come."

"no thank you, can you go back to scratching behind my ears now." you lay back down.

"no,"

a heavy sigh. "Victoria," whined softly, as you nuzzled into her lap. you're tempted to gently bite her thigh but you don't. that would not help your case right now. "please?"

"if you agree to come I'll give you all the ear scratches you want."

"that's not fair."

"I need a buffer for when I can't take it anymore and that's you," she gives your side a firm pat. "I got you something pretty to wear."

"how pretty," mumbled against her legs.

"very," that meant expensive. you groan, stretching your arms and legs before sitting up. she raises a curious brow that makes you roll your eyes. She wasn't going to let this go.

"fine but you owe me," she places her hand on your head, ruffling your hair, making sure to get behind the ears. you naturally lean into her touch. this was gonna be a very long night.

Tek Knight lives in a mansion. like an actual massive mansion that's old and creepy but also kind of cool. gothic in nature and not an ounce of homeliness to its name. Victoria annoyingly leaves you alone pretty quickly and you're forced to find your own source of amusement. music plays as background noise and there really isn't anything to do here other than touch ornaments or talk with Republicans. She didn't tell you this was gonna be a party filled with right-wing nuts but here you are anyway. conversing with old white men about reproductive rights and how gay people are fine but need to stop shoving their lifestyle down Americans' throats. you observe the party from the corner of the room. helping yourself to the hors d'oeuvres as trays rush by. It's always a wonder why they don't just have actual food at these events or at least something a little less fancy. something actually tasty.

"you're Neuman's girl, right?" it's not inherently wrong so you allow the nickname especially when you realise who it comes from. she has never tried to hide your relationship but she hardly advertised it either. can't scare off the voters or whatever. you don't mind. you're not exactly in a rush to be hounded by the general public. Homelander stands beside you; strong and tall in his red, white and blue super suit. You've never been next to such a powerful supe before excluding Neuman. he was intimidating in real life.

"homelander," you declare obviously. you're not sure what else to say here. Victoria speaks about him a lot. he's also in the news all the time. you very recently watched him on TV. "I saw your trial," blurted out before you thought of the consequences. he probably didn't like to talk about him murdering a man.

"so you saw that I was found innocent,"

you nod a little. he'd been found not guilty despite the overwhelming evidence which was kind of insane but also expected. "Vicky says you should have been locked up," you agreed.

"and what do you think?" he turns his whole body towards you and you do the same. such intense eyes it's almost like he's looking right through you. you may be a supe but you were hardly on his level. Victoria says he's kinda unstable these days and anything can set him off so you try to think of something safe to say.

"I think... your eyes are really fucking blue- no wonder fascists love you," he smiles. you don't know if it's amusement or menacing but surely he understands you're joking. and if not, he likely won't attack at this fancy little party.

"calm down, I'm not going to hurt you."

"What makes you think I'm worried." he wasn't a mind reader that you knew for sure.

"your heartbeat," he replies. "but mostly the ears," the blonde points to the cat ears on the top of your head. "anyone else would call it cute," and with that, he walks away. he was a... confusing man. even from that short interaction, you can tell he can be elusive. alone once more you decide to go in search of a drink but it isn't long before Victoria is at your side.

"hi baby," you're happy to see her. you hope it means you can go home soon.

"hey,"

"What did he want?"

"Who? homelander?" why did she care? "just chatting about his trial and how cute I am."

"how cute you are?" she repeats back slowly.

"Hmm it's no surprise- everyone is obsessed with me so."

"you are adorable,"

a very bright exaggerated smile, showing your canines before your face immediately falls. "can we go yet?"

"you promised you'd hold out a couple of hours," and it was starting to feel like a lifetime.

"and I have," you groan dramatically.

"It's barely been an hour,"

"y'know, I literally got told women have too many rights," you reply. "too. many. rights- what does that even mean?"

Victoria sighs softly. "I know they can be... opinionated but just suck it up for me okay? it'll be over before you know it,"

"I wanna go now,"

"I know," she runs a gentle hand along your back. "but this is important."

"why is it so important?"

"I- I can't tell you that right now," Victoria replies. She never told you anything. it was always just important calls or important meetings or important parties. it made you want to roll your eyes. "just please behave for me," you put on a pout. "and I'll take you to the nice restaurant with the fancy cakes you love,"

"Really?" said cautiously. when in doubt she'll bribe you. not because she doubts you'll do it for free but rather as an insurance policy. better safe than sorry.

"Always so easy," she chuckles. "you gotta work on keeping your ears in check. perked right up when I said that,"

you frown a little, reaching up to cover your ears with your hands. "stupid ears."

"It's cute," she hums softly, a kiss placed against your temple.

"I hate you," said sharply.

"Just... mingle or something." Victoria pats your shoulder before leaving you alone again. you follow her with your eyes as she walks up to some old man. you decide to go for a walk and find that drink you were after.

"you arrived with Neuman," stated matter of factly. sister sage walks up from behind you. you cover your mouth as you finish the little pastry you stole off a tray.

"Sister Sage," mumbled through a mouthful before you swallowed. "newest member of the seven- I heard you're like the smartest woman ever."

"smartest person," she corrected.

"smartest person," you repeat. "what's someone so smart doing in a place like this?"

"we're surrounded by some of the most powerful people in the United States of America right now," Sage explains. you know on some level that should mean something to you but you hardly feel excited or proud. quite the opposite. you were in a room with some of the worst people in the United States of America. Almost all of them are against the very things you are.

"but not the nicest," you grab a champagne flute as it passes by, taking a long-needed sip of bubbly liquid.

"nice only gets you so far," she continues. "you're probably the nicest person here but also the least important."

wow. okay. rude. "I wouldn't call myself the least important."

"I would," she replies. "even the waiters are of more value right now. you're just Neuman's basically pet, cute but useless."

you're not sure what to say to that. is that why Victoria never shared anything with you? didn't think you were important? just a pet to be paraded about like some cute little mascot in her parade for power? "I'm not her pet."

"how do your ears and tail work? they're biological right?" the question catches you a little off guard. such a change.

"uhhhh shouldn't the smartest person alive be able to figure that out?"

"you're a shifter but only into a feline," her eyes trail over you like this was some sort of interview or examination. "do you keep the ears for aesthetic purposes? surely, you can get rid of the cat ears and tail."

"you'd think," you shrug. "but no, I'm cursed to be every nerdy incels wet fantasy." the cat ears and tail were considered cute by many, disgusting by others and a fetish by too many. for a long time, vought used you in a lot of advertisements and commercials until you quit. you still occasionally do some ads and stuff for extra cash. Not often do people see a real-life cat girl. a hand snakes across your back and you instinctively jerk away before realising it's Victoria. "hey,"

"Can we talk?" she wears the fakest smile ever.

"hmm," sage hums. you quirk your brow.

"What?"

"Nothing," she insists. "you have the exact dynamic I would expect. don't mind me." you'd ask what she meant but she is already walking away and Victoria is leading you in the opposite direction.

"what's up?" you wonder.

"I don't want you talking to sister sage."

"why?".

"Can you listen to me for once?"

"for once?" all you do is listen to her. this whole night was for her. "I'm here listening to old men tell me I deserve to go to hell for you. this is worse than that political banquet where that man followed me around the whole night and kept trying to pet me." you huff.

"you don't think I haven't thought about popping my own head every time one of these rich idiots tries to talk to me about reproductive health?" her voice is quiet but stern. she's trying not to cause a scene. "but I put up with it so just suck up. it's important."

"oh really? never would have guessed." you roll your eyes. "I'll just go sit in the corner and stare at the wall since I'm not important enough."

"That's not what I said,"

"no I get it, don't worry," you force a smile and brush past her. "I'll be a good kitty."

it's a quiet ride home. silent even. staring out the window as bright lights zoom past. you can hear Victoria chatting on the phone. much too busy to take note of your angry brow or vacant stare. you're angry at her. Sage's words weren't helping either. playing over and over in your mind. cute but useless. you couldn't necessarily disagree. Even Vought just wanted you because of how you looked. sure you had enhanced strength and senses but that was only compared to humans. there were plenty of much stronger supes. there were even more useful shifters. you just became a cat. agile. sneaky. but ultimately just a common house pet.

"Are you gonna pout all night?" Victoria eventually asks as you pull up outside her home. it pissed you off more.

"I'm sorry, I thought I wasn't allowed to speak." replies sharply as you exit the vehicle; a quick slam of the door. you hear her get out the other side and follow behind.

"I didn't say you couldn't speak,"

"semantics," you huff back. maybe she didn't say you couldn't talk but she did try to control every conversation. who you could and couldn't speak to. always checking in to make sure you weren't saying the wrong thing. "I don't feel like talking."

"We need to."

you just ignore her. That was much better than an argument right now. all you wanted was a hot shower and to go to bed. As soon as you get inside, you march upstairs. She doesn't follow, instead heading towards the kitchen.

the hot water was a welcomed distraction from your otherwise terrible evening. it was supposed to just be about you too and she just couldn't help but make it all about herself. propping herself up to important people. sneaking off for private meetings that you weren't allowed to attend. you go to bed alone. she was probably downstairs working like always. you don't know how long it is before she joins you.

"you have to talk to me eventually," Victoria hums. "can't sulk in your other form forever."

whenever you fought you liked to shift. being a cat was simpler. nobody had any expectations for cats. it was like the perfect excuse to not have difficult conversations. She couldn't understand you after all but you could understand her. loud and clear. "just tell me what's wrong."

you stretch out. fluffy kitty paws morph into human hands and legs sprawled out in the darkness. you sigh softly following on to your back. Victoria is sitting on the edge, looking down at you. "I'm not your pet," growled quietly.

"I never said you were,"

"that's all anyone sees me as," you reply. "Neuman's girl. neuman's pet. cute but useless/ that's what sage said."

"that is why I didn't want you talking to her," she replies.

"but she's right," you express. "you don't treat me like we're equals. you hide stuff from me. tell me it's too important and I won't understand. I'm not a fucking child or your silly little house cat, Victoria."

"Baby," a gentle hand moves to your arm but you shake her off. Moving onto your side and away from her.

"don't."

"Okay," she retracts her hands slowly. there's a moment of silence before she continues. "I don't see you as a child or some silly cat."

"Sure you do,"

"I don't," she insists. "I'm a politician there are some things I just can't share with you-"

"but you don't tell me anything," you interrupt

"but I admit I could share with you more," she proceeds with. "I just... I try to keep you out of all that bullshit. not because I think you're stupid or useless but because it's just easier. I don't want them tearing you down to get to me,"

"But I'm willing to take it,"

"you shouldn't have to. I don't want that for you- for us." she urges. "Sage can say whatever she wants but I don't believe those things about you. You're smart, beautiful and adorable sure but you're not useless. I'm so lucky to have someone as caring and wonderful as you."

"gross," said playfully after a moment. a small smile tugs at your lips though. "Victoria?"

"mhmm?"

"I'm sorry for acting like a spoilt brat tonight,"

"I'm sorry I made you spend an evening with all those awful people," you chuckle lightly as you roll over to look at her. they really were awful people. and maybe you weren't one of the most important people in America but you were a good person. a nice person. and that was much more interesting.

"World's worst and most boring party," you voice. "how did your private meeting go?"

she hesitates. probably a debate on whether to tell you or not. "...pretty well I think."

"Vice President Neuman has a nice ring to it," you tease. smiling up at her in the darkness. a strip of moonlight crosses her face. twinkling in her pretty eyes. it was a wild thought. one day soon you could be dating the vice president of America.

"how do you feel knowing you'll be the second lady?"

"oooh so official. so important."

"you're already so important,"

"to you maybe." you huff.

"does anyone else matter?"

"you of all people saying that is crazy," you semi-tease. it was kinda true. she cared a lot about her image. about how the world saw her. "let's just go to sleep."

Victoria doesn't answer but she does lie down, shuffling up behind you. there's a slight hesitation like she's not sure if you've truly forgiven her. you move closer to her, resting your head against her chest. listening to the way her heart thumped in her chest "night."

"good night," you hum softly as you let your eyes flutter closed. "I'm gonna get so many fancy cakes tomorrow."

[yanderestarangel]

hello! i just found your blog and i've been obsessed with your writing <33 can i request a smut with a poly relationship with johnny and kenshi. i feel like they'd be so drastically different but work so well together in bed

HEADKANONKS MK1 | KENSHI TAKAHASHI X JOHNNY CAGE X READER

TW: afab anatomy, fluff, soft headcanons, threesome, smut, nsfw, double penetration, blowjob, kenshi and Johnny make out with each other, gay sex, anal sex, vibrators, ice play, switch!reader, sub!johnny, dom!kenshi, daddykink.

♡ A relationship with both of them at the same time would be quite an adventure. Kenshi is the balance between you and Johnny - he knows that if he leaves you two alone, you and Johnny might do crazy things and end up in jail, like the time you two accidentally set one of Johnny's cars on fire on a public street. -Kenshi had to pay the two of you bail, with Johnny's money of course -

♡ The three of you have a group on WhatsApp, everything you need to talk about you will talk about in that chat, be it gossip, news or even asking where each one is, when the other is away, you named your boyfriend's contact as "gay son " and "thot daughter" - I don't even need to say who is who, right? -

♡ Kenshi has the love language serving, showing that he cares about you and Johnny, if you ask to be carried or a glass of water or anything within his reach, he will do it.

Example: You, Kenshi and Johnny watching a movie on Saturday night, on Cage's king size bed, Kenshi on the left side, you in the middle and Johnny lying on your thighs as he took Kenshi's hand too. You felt thirsty but were too lazy to get up and help yourself, soon turning to Takahashi.

"-Can you get me a glass of water, my love?" -You asked calmly, smiling at the man who just waved and stood up.

"-Can you get it for me too baby girl?" -Johnny said laughing to Kenshi who gave the middle finger in response to the actor.

"-What's up Takahashi? I'm your boyfriend too!" -Cage said in response, as he looked at you pouting, you soon asked Kenshi to bring it to Johnny too, and he obeyed - he was already going to do it anyway, but he loved seeing Johnny beg and get angry and you knew it, affectionately in your other partner's hair.

♡ Johnny Cage has a different language, he likes to spend money on you and Kenshi, shopping in luxurious malls, sports cars, branded watches, everything you and Kenshi imagine and want is yours, just ask and Cage will move mountains if it takes to see you two smile.

♡ You live in Johnny's mansion, in the same room, in the same bed. If you're not used to sharing a bed, it's best to get used to it. Johnny will hug you, suffocating you on his chest, it's an uncontrollable and involuntary gesture of his, while placing one of his muscular thighs on top of you. Kenshi sleeps straight, with his stomach up, but sometimes he will also do the same as Johnny with you - you could barely breathe due to the weight of them together -

♡ Kenshi lends you his clothes, but tells you not to pass them on to Johnny, which you disobey and do the opposite, sometimes Johnny himself asks you to take Takahashi's shirts for him to wear, all to tease the poor swordsman.

"-I thought I asked for my shirt for you to wear, not Cage." -Kenshi said, laughing aside, watching Johnny parade around the house in his red satin shirt.

"-This blouse looks better on me than on you Takahashi, that's why our dear (Y/N) lent it to me." -Johnny said, giving you a kiss, and then another one with Kenshi, making him agree and not be angry with you two.

♡ Johnny will always take you two to his awards, he doesn't care about judgement, he has two extremely hot partners by his side, why would he be embarrassed?

♡ Kenshi and Johnny get along well, that is, your relationship has almost no fights, if you are insecure about something, especially with them being together more and leaving you out, they will sit down and talk, it's a little scary because it was The first time you saw Johnny was extremely serious, saying that he loves you equally as he loves Kenshi, and that he would never leave either of you for anything.

♡ They can work very well together in bed to give you pleasure, Kenshi loves being rougher and more dominant, watching you squirm and beg for him, Johnhy makes you excited and satiates you at the same time, he can't contain his dick in his pants. seeing you beg so beautifully for him and Kenshi to fuck you.

♡ Johnny likes to fuck your pussy with his fingers and tongue, while Kenshi loves watching you squirm, Johnny's fingers go on your clit while Takahashi pushes his dick into your pussy, both of them smiling as he sees you moan and turn into a crying mess. Cage would help Kenshi's dick enter you further or even suck Takahashi's dick while lying on your belly, to help lubricate the way.

♡ They both like to give double blowjobs, that is, your poor mouth will have both of their cocks at the same time, while they both smile and moan in unison, kissing each other sometimes while praising you for taking their cock so well.

♡ The three of you like to tease each other outside too, using vibrators. You would use a small internal oval, inside your pussy. Johnny would use it on his dick and inside him, while Kenshi used one only on his dick, the adrenaline was not knowing who would activate the speed or increase it, ending with Kenshi fucking Johnny while Johnny fucked you hard - Kenshi between Johnny's legs and you sitting down with your pussy in the movie star's mouth.

♡ They also like to do double penetration, with Kenshi going in your ass and Cage in your pussy, they accelerate the rhythm together, holding you between the two of them, while Johnny praises you, Kenshi degrades you...

♡ Kenshi will play with ice on your nipples, while Johnny used the cube to rub it on your clit, while you were blindfolded, completely at the mercy of both of them - you would have to guess which dick was entering your pussy at that moment, Kenshi's or Johnny's , both are thick and big, so you would have to use maximum touch to find out -

♡ When one or the other is tired, you can fuck him, you can always turn to your other partner. If Kenshi is too tired Johnny will fuck you on the mattress moaning and whimpering while Takahashi sleeps. If Johnny is too tired, Kenshi will fuck you all over the mansion and record the fuck for Cage to watch later - and obviously tease him -

♡ Johnny will also want to be fucked by you, don't have a dick? just grab a strap on and fuck his ass, he'll whimper at you while calling you "daddy/mommy" muffled by Kenshi's dick in his mouth.

Johnny smirks against your clit, his tongue swirling and flicking expertly, his lips occasionally sucking gently. The sensation sends shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. Meanwhile, Kenshi groans softly as you take him into your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat. His hand finds its way to your hair, gripping it gently, guiding your movements. You can feel the intensity building in both of them, their desire for you palpable in every touch and caress.

Johnny, his lips leaving a trail of wet kisses along your inner thigh, slowly moves up your body, his eyes locked with yours. He positions himself between your thighs, his erection pressing against your entrance. Kenshi, still enjoying the lust of your mouth, watches with an intense gaze. Johnny, lost in the waves of pleasure, moans deeply, his grip on your hips tightening. As Kenshi's thrusts grow more intense, he leans over Johnny, his voice dripping with domination.

"-You're such a greedy little slut, Johnny..." Kenshi sneers, his tone laced. "-Taking pleasure from both ends, unable to get enough. Look at you, being fucked like the naughty little whore you are." A mischievous smile tugs at your lips as you witness Kenshi pulling out of Johnny, leaving him panting and needy. You lock eyes with Johnny. Slowly, you lower yourself onto his hard cock, your tightness enveloping him completely.

Johnny's eyes widen with pleasure as he fills you, his grip on your hips tightening in an attempt to control his own urges. You move your body in slow, tantalizing motions, savoring the feeling of him deep inside you.

Meanwhile, Kenshi positions himself behind Johnny once again, his hands firmly gripping his hips. With a single fluid motion, he pushes back into Johnny's willing ass, eliciting a chorus of mixed moans and gasps from all three of you. Johnny's body trembles, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he nears the edge of pleasure. He looks up at you with a mix of desire and desperation, his voice strained as he fights for control. "-Please...please let me cum. I need to release, to feel the warmth of your pussy and the grip of Kenshi's dick..."

Kenshi, his grip on your breasts tightening, thrusts into Johnny with a renewed vigor, adding to the overwhelming sensations coursing through all of you. Your eyes lock with Johnny's, a knowing smirk on your face as you give him permission to release. "-Cum for us, Johnny. Coat me with your warmth and feel the pleasure surge through you as Kenshi fills your tight ass."

With a final thrust, he pours his lust into your awaiting pussy, moaning out your name in ecstasy.

Simultaneously, Kenshi finds his release inside Johnny's willing ass, his body shuddering with pleasure and fulfillment. The intensity of the moment overwhelms you, the sensation of being filled from both ends heightening your own pleasure.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[thatdeadaquarius]

Soon.

☆

With a puzzled squint, you could see the adeptus was running over what you said in his mind, trying to parse out the meaning. Xiao then threw his head up out of his slight bow, almost glaring at you, “There is no task nor person more important than guarding you, my Lord. I will stand guard, worry not about my state.”

Nodding to you, he abruptly turned on his heel to shift to the side of the entrance to the mansion, his spear tall and ready. You’d have twitched a smile at him if you could, as you're sure he’s gotten a little more comfortable with you than when you first officially met. You’re also sure from meeting Zhongli just once in person that he’d have a small heart attack if he saw some of Xiao’s informal behavior.

But you’re glad he hasn’t, the more relaxed they are, especially considering your form, the better.

You duck inside, though the ceilings are so raised that you don’t have to go that low surprisingly. Huh, it was nice to be anticipated in a building usually sized for human heights. Wow. You’ve really reached the point of casually calling yourself inhuman.

…well, to be real with yourself right now, it might actually help to get more accustomed to that in case you’re never human again.

You also put that possibility back into the vault at the back of your mind.

☆

HEY I live, again,

I had a big life update what with my sib graduating grad school (getting their masters degree) at the same time we both moved like 2 states over from our home state 😅

and unfortunately, i wasnt able to get my monster of a sequel out in time to post it remotely to get it out to you guys while i was afk

(as i havent had wifi/free time consistently in like 2-3 weeks)

which, phew, im finally able to be settled in one place enough to write again, and have enough time in the day to not be dealing wiht my apartment to write ToT

i hope you guys arent too mad at me! (or have forgotten me?? sobs)

also.

i hear Natlan's coming out. 👀

I don't think it'll be out before i post the full (3 chapters total planned) sequel, but just in case, disclaimer-

🪄I am not to be held liable for not writing about Natlan bc it wasnt out yet woooo🪄

anyway, yeah its also taking a bit bc i wanna post the completed thing all in one go, over the course of like 3 days or so, that way u guys can actually look forward to the next little chapter in a reasonable amount of time lmao

well yknow, if anyones still reading this or my blog lol

happy summer you guys! I hope u all are having a good one so far, esp those of you in school, heart going out to yall fr <33

Catch you on the flip side (ao3 side?)✌️

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@karmascreeches / @yomilyy / @0rah-s / @idontknowwhatimdoingbutweball / @blackstar-gazer / @voidsgarden / @a-gay-piece-of-paper / @oxyotl / @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback / @kurayamioterasu / @randompersoninyourworld / @byakuren100 / @lemonade7255

[swappingforgood]

Missing it Already part 2

Still enjoying the effects of my orgasm, I go to Larry’s bedroom to see his large mattress and lay down. Letting my hands explore every inch of my new form. I’m still in shock, and honestly, being Larry for a week is not the worst thing ever. Day Three was not bad as I went to work and saw Larry in my body who was wearing gym clothes. "Oh, hey Boss,” Larry said as he greets me. I couldn’t help but notice how clean my house was, but I mean it would make sense since Larry is a cleaner. “Did…you clean this up by yourself?” I asked as I sit my larger frame on the couch. “I sure did. I had time after work and honestly figured you could use the break, so I decided to do both of our jobs,” Larry said as he walks around in my body. It’s kinda weird to hear my body sound so happy and cheery and full of energy. He then joins me on the couch and holds my hand. “Boss, you have been so kind to me that I really hope you get to relax in my body. Take the next few days off. I’ll see you on day 7; where will we swap back, okay?” Larry said as he ushered me outside my own home, but I didn’t think too hard about it. Honestly, he is right; I deserve a break. After going to my apartment and feeding my hungry body, I used my typical gay dating apps, but the only people who were interested were guys who looked like me, well, Larry. Bummed out, I didn’t let that stop me as I met up with this one twinkling only for him to ghost me and call me a fat slob. It made me upset because obviously I’m not a fat slob; Larry’s body is fat, not me. However, I find personal pleasure with myself, and on day 7, I go to my mansion and I’m greeted by Larry, who was wearing a robe and underwear. Showing off my hard-worked body and salt and pepper hair. “Hey boss, come on in, let’s celebrate,” Larry said as we share some drinks and discuss our weeks. I couldn’t help but let the alcohol talk for me as I mentioned his choice of attire. “Larry, why do you have my body dressed like that?” I said with a drunken slur as he moves closer to me and puts his hands on my belly. “I’m going to miss this body, so I figured, why not, and plus, you like what you see?” Larry said with my voice, which turned me the heck on, and he noticed it. Next thing I know, he is between my larger legs and we are grinding our cocks together as he whispers, “Do you miss this body?”. I moan in response, “I do; I missed it every day. I loved being in your body, but I miss mine,” Larry chuckles as he lowers our underwear and places his cock against my fat ass. “Let’s have sex as each other, please?” He said with a grin that I didn’t notice due to being drunk. I moaned as I felt my fat ass getting fucked by my former cock and Larry moans. “Can I call you Larry while I fuck you?” He says, and I nod in approval, giving into my desires. “Oh yes boss, fuck my fat body,” I say in a desperate tone as Larry grins and whispers into my ear. “I’m gonna cum inside you, Larry,” and it drives me over the edge. I feel my small cock spurt all over my stomach as I feel the warmth of the seed of my former cock filling my ass. As we lay down together and catch our breath, I ask. “That was amazing; you did good using my body like that, but can we swap back now?” Larry stays quiet as he gets up and grabs the amulet he kept by the bedside, and in a dark tone, he told me to touch it just like before, but nothing happened. I looked in utter shock as I noticed Larry had a massive grin on his face. "Whoops, did I forget to mention? If the swapped people have sex, then the swap would be permanent." I hold onto the amulet tightly and plea. “No, this can’t be happening. Larry, why didn’t you tell me?” “My name is not Larry anymore, you fat loser. It’s Michael, but to you, it’s sir. Now put on your clothes and get to work.” 

[vixynntranzity]

what type of bitch every creepypasta is����

What type of bitch every creepypastas is💀😭

Jeff the killer - the type of bitch who will act like he’s cool but is suddenly scared when you pull out a lighter.

Slenderman - the type of bitch who acts like a mom

Ben drowned - the type of bitch who purposely annoys everyone

Sally - the type of bitch who pretends to be innocent but she’s really a little trouble maker

Puppeteer - the type of bitch who will manipulate you and than gaslight you.

Eyeless Jack - the type of bitch who would use you as a dummy for medical practice lmao

Jason the Toymaker - the type of bitch who hoards all of his belongings 

Laughing Jack - the type of bitch who makes really shitty jokes that only a few think are actually funny

Laughing Jill - the type of bitch who gives off horse girl vibes.

Nathan the nobody - the type of bitch that has way to bad anger issues

Nina the killer - the type of bitch that acts like a pick me.

Lazari - the type of bitch you would have to push off a building just to get her to move

Jane the killer - the type of bitch who makes every argument about Jeff

Ticci-Toby - the type of bitch who will cause an accident and then say “wasn’t me.” Then blame it on one of his close friends.

Masky - the type of bitch who needs to chill tf out on smoking and alcohol 

Hoodie - the type of bitch who seems really straight but he’s really gay with Masky.

Candy Pop - the type of bitch that has mood swings worse than a woman on her period.

Vine the DollMaker - the type of bitch that sits like L and will threaten you with scissors 

Lulu - the type of bitch who is really shy

Suicide Sadie - the type of bitch who will start an argument with you and then beat the shit out of you

Kagekao - the type of bitch who gives everyone ‘cutesy’ nicknames…

Trenderman - the type of bitch who will hold a whole ass photoshoot at the mansion 

Offenderman - the type of bitch who is literally, canonically, a rapist.

Splendorman - the type of bitch who isn’t actually a bitch and is just really fucking wholesome and sweet 

Nurse Ann - the type of bitch who has resting bitch face.

Papa grande - the type of bitch who acts and sounds like Caine from TADC 

Smile dog - the type of bitch who will bite you….cause why tf not?

Dr. Smiley - the type of bitch who will just randomly start manically laughing outta no where.

Hobo heart - the type of bitch who will literally steal your heart

Asylum Nancy  - the type of bitch who is way too fucking happy and hyper up all the damn time

Stripes - the type of bitch who will have a full on mental breakdown because they saw something adorable or saw a fit, beautiful woman and got jealous 

Sadiya - the type of redneck, cowgirl, western bitch.

Clockwork - the type of bitch who will punch you when she laughs

Zero - the type of bitch who always fucking brags about how cool she is.

homicidal liu since @my-jukebox reminded me!: The type of bitch that has his inner emo alpha wolf side.

[ramblingautisticman]

Here is part 1 of my new series 'And They Were Gamers!', a series in which Logan and Wade play video games and be cute and gay- enjoy!

I'll be posting it here and on A03! I've got about three-ish chapter ideas/things I'm writing, any suggestions or idea please comment!!

(Based on this post!)

(Tagging @ineffable-monster-romancer because you gave me the idea for the tiny house and flowers!!)

------------------------------------------

It had started simply. Wade scrolling through YouTube at 3am due to insomnia, and wasn’t that how most things started?

He was used to staying up late, his body refusing to give in to the tiredness running through him. Logan had tried to get Wade to sleep easier- tried to find a way to get him relaxed enough to pass out- but nothing had seemed to work, so he did continued to do what he always had, didteacting himself with his phone until he either fell asleep or it was morning.

Eventually, he moved from tiktok to Youtube, and after awhile he found a video that seemed interesting. Something about a game called Minecraft. He had heard of it- the kids at the mansion had talked about it briefly when he was there a few months ago- but he had never actually seen it. So he pressed play and lay in bed watching it, finding himself quickly enamored in the video.

Before he knew it, he had spent the next 5 hours watching videos and looking up the different versions, and quickly it had become something he needed to play.

It seemed like a fun little time waster for when he couldn't sleep, plus, it seemed very relaxing compared to the other games he enjoyed.

So when Logan finally stirred, Wade had quickly started rambling about it, telling him anything and everything he could about the game- coming up with 100 and 1 reason as to why he should buy it- and even if Logan had no clue what was happening, when he left to go shopping and left Wade to watch even more videos about this game, he threw in the copy of Minecraft Wade had wanted (and yes, he had to message Laura to ask what one Wade needed for the switch thingy he played on, and spent a good hour being annoyed at how many different versions of it there seemed too be).

When he came home, Wade had helped bring the groceries to the kitchen, spending the whole time talking about a video he had watched about someone making a castle in the game- and by the end of his ramble- the only thing left in the bag had been the game.

Wade had nearly exploded with excitement when he saw it, quickly wrapping his arms around Logan in a bone crushing hug and thanking him about 50 times, before grabbing Minecraft and rushing over to his Switch.

And that was Wade for the next 3 days solid. It was all he did, and thank god they had no missions, cause honestly? Wade would've probably just taken the thing with him.

Luckily, Logan found his excitement over it cute so he was allowed to get away with not doing much else. And it seemed to be helping Wade when he couldn't sleep which was a bonus.

After about a week, Wade had greeted him at the door after walking Mary Puppins, tears in his eyes as he held the screen up for Logan to see.

"My dog died!! I had him since the first night! And now he's dead and I didn't even get to finish the dog house! Stupid fucking skeleton shot him!! I'm such a bad dog owner! Don't let Mary near me!!" He cried, tears now rushing down his cheeks, a frown on his face.

And Logan really didn't know what any of that meant, but he didn't like Wade being this upset. And he didn't like hearing him think he was a bad dog owner. "Hey, it-s okay- you are a real good papa to Mary." He said softly, gently holding the dog closer to Wade, watching as she licked his face.

It seemed to help alittle, Wade gently holding her with one arm, kissing her forehead before looking back to the screen of his Switch. "I wanted to make him a house...I was so close to getting a nametag for him.." He muttered, looking back up at Logan with those big sad eyes that made his heart ache.

"I'm sorry baby, why don't we cuddle up on the couch? You can show me the monster farm thingy you were making, yeah? Maybe you can get another dog?" He suggested, gently guiding Wade to the couch and gently sitting down, listening as Wade slowly explained that the monster farm was called a 'Mob Spawner', and that he didn't know if he could find another dog because of where he lived.

Logan thought that maybe it would pass in a few days, but Wade was still heart broken about his Minecraft dog, and Logan needed to fix it. So, he devised a plan. Well- him and Laura.

It seemed that Wade had messaged her about it, because she knew exactly what Logan was on about when he had sent her a text for help. Initially, he just thought that Wade could find another dog, and even though that was technically true- Wade didn't seem very happy at the idea of going and getting another one. Something about not wanting to go exploring and loosing all his XP if he died.

So Laura suggested something else. She had suggested that Logan learn to play it so that he could go and find Wade a dog himself. Which made him very very confused. He wasn't good with technology- had only just figured out smartphones- but he wanted too. Wade deserved to have his dog back, and here he was, sneakily using Wade's switch to try and learn the game.

It took a few days to get the controls down, but Logan quickly got used to them- and honestly? He began to understand why Wade loved it so much. The relaxing music, the cute animals, the addition he was gaining to mining.

Now, playing it himself, Logan understood why Wade had gotten so upset when his dog died. It was easy to get sucked into the game- to shut your brain off while collecting wood or getting attached to a chicken you managed to hatch from a random egg- and it made him want to get Wade his dog even more. That, and play it with Wade himself.

It took another few days to get a dog. He had to wait for Wade to go on a mission, but as soon as he left the apartment, Logan booted up Wade's world and got to work. He still wasn't good- he had to Google a few things- but eventually he found and tamed a dog.

Logan spent about an hour getting it back to Wade's house, and then proceed to spend another hour figuring out how to fish for a name tag. As soon as he started fishing, he realized that maybe he was enjoying Minecraft more than he had expected. It surprised him to enjoy a video game- he had only ever really played a few in the 80s with the kids at the mansion- but here he was, 4 hours later still playing.

He hd originally just wanted to get a dog for Wade, name it Mary Puppins and be done, but he couldn't help but get more and more into it as he contuined to play.

At first he realized Wade didn't have an anvil, so he went mining for iron. Then he needed some more levels for the name tag to make sure he didn't used Wade's, so he went and killed some mobs. Then he decided to make the dog alittle house, even if it was just a square of wood, then he found some flowers and decided he wanted to decorate with them.

Before he knew it, Wade was opening the door and loudly announcing he was home. Logan tried to save and exit the game quickly- but as usual- Wade was faster than he was, quickly looking at Logan with a confused expression.

"What is this??? Your using technology beyond an old android? Am I dreaming?" Wade said dramatically, taking his mask off and plonking down next to Logan on the couch. "Wait...why are you on Minecraft?.."

Logan looked up from the Switch and over to the man sat next to him, blushing slightly, as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Oh well- you seemed so sad about your dog- ya know? And I wanted to cheer you up, so I messaged Laura and she said about me finding you a dog so you didn't die with your XP, so I tried to join on a different profile thing but I couldn't, so I logged in on your one- I promise I didn't lose any of your XP or use any of it- and look! I found you a dog- and I called her Mary Puppins, and I even made her a house! Also, I found some red and yellow flowers, so I thought that would look nice....." He rambled, suddenly worried he had upset Wade. Should he of asked before he played? Did he mess the world up?

He held the screen infront of Wade- the same way Wade had done to him a week and a few days ago- and glanced at it, pointing at the little dog. "It's a grey dog, so I thought she kinda looked like Mary, ya know?.." Logan added, looking back at Wade, who seemed to be crying? Shit.

"Sorry- did I ruin it? I just wanted to help- I can get rid of the dog hou-" like usual, Wade interrupted him.

"Oh my god! Peanut! That is the most amazingly romantic thing that someone has ever done for me! You learned how to play it- and then got me a new dog?? And you got yellow and red flowers to decorate? Our colours!? You are the most amazing boyfriend ever!! I'm going to keep her so safe in her adorable little house and-and I'm buying you a Switch and we are going to play together and make a house together and we can put our beds together!" Wade rambled, somehow with on breath, and Logan couldn't help but smile widely at his excitement.

He kissed Wade's cheek softly before handing over the console. "Yeah, that sounds good...I've already been looking at one actually- Minecraft is really fun. And I'm glad your happy." Logan said softly, laughing alittle at how stupid it was he was nervous about this. It was a video game, why did he need to be anxious?

"Oh, I am buying you whichever Switch you want, I'm buying you Minecraft, and we are going to spend the weekend making the best house ever." And honestly? Logan wasn't going to argue.

[mullty]

-Spoilers for Call of Duty Black Ops 6 Ahead.-

Bro I literally teared up. I am honestly only playing for the character that is Frank Woods. I grew up with Alex Mason and his story and recently I've gotten back into it as an adult. I love the arc we have sort've been on with Alex and Frank. They are so special to me and I could go on forever about them- but enough about me-

So Far there are two moments that I've just loved and been incredibly sad at. The shorter one, that you will probably barely notice, is when we are back at the mansion-manor?, home? house?-

We, as Case, are next to my new favorite person maybe ever Felix. The rest are near a fire they have and before Adler radios in with bad news, you hear the end of a funny memory Frank is sharing with the team.

So far, I have felt that even though we have the same Frank Woods, he is a very obviously subdued version of him. It's felt like... I don't know. Do you know when you're pretending you are normal and cracking jokes but you're so exhausted and you'd rather not say anything but you don't want anyone to ask you anything. I do think he's like making an effort but this whole situation starts off with Adler who we later learn is the one being blamed for Frank's "Condition" and the deaths of Alex Mason and Jason Hudson. I wouldn't want to be reminded of that dang mission ever in my life but suddenly Adler is back into the mix and suddenly it's all about Panama and Mason and who Frank once was- and I think it's a lot for him. He's older. He can't fight. He can't move as he once did. Now, he has people he is mentoring. He's staying back while they go. He had built a wall around these people because this isn't forever and he didn't owe them a sob story. Anyway- so yeah it's a big deal that he's sharing a story with them because it's a story about Alex. It's not confirmed but all we hear is something in the realm of (I'm paraphrasing)

"Yeah, we are in D.C. now- Not Alaska." Which prompts a laugh from the people there.

Now. Let's put on our thinking caps on and try to remember who in the game is canonically Alaskan.

ALEX MASON. HE'S TELLING THEM ABOUT ALEX AND A FUNNY STORY ABOUT HIM. BECAUSE FRANK KNEW HIM. FRANK KNEW HIM AND KNEW ALL SIDES OF HIM and Alex wasn't just some coworker that survived getting brainwashed and was basically the best soldier there ever was.

Alex was his best friend. They mention it multiple times in the story.

Frank lost his Best Friend. Most of all, he feels it was his fault because he pulled the trigger.

He let his walls down and he's letting these people in to know someone so important to him.

The next moment is when we go up to talk to him and ask how he's doing. I think there is a visible change in him. He feels lighter.

He talks about enjoying the "thing they have going on." They don't take orders from anyone and they're kind of their own paramilitary group in a way. No hidden agendas just stopping the bad guys. and Case responds with, "You don't have to go back to Langley."

And why would he want to go back there let's be honest.

And THEN HE RESPONDS WITH "I haven't told anyone this but with Mason gone, I wanna look after his boy... Bring him up."

And what had me in this scene isn't that he is going to raise David, We know he ends up doing that.

BUT how much Frank has come to terms with letting go.

Frank obviously to some degree enjoyed his job. I don't know how long he did it for but, he is still involved back at the C.I.A so we can see that he didn't want to be left out completely.

And he gets a taste of that back.

He has found something that works for him and allows him to continue on this path. But. BUT.

"With Mason gone, I wanna look after his boy."

He's going to leave it behind for David and Alex.

He's not going to leave David alone. ALEX WENT BACK TO THAT LIFE despite having PROMISED his son that he was done. because of frank. Frank needed him and Alex saved him.

A lot of fans point at Frank and Alex and say Gay lovers.

and like yeah what about it.

But also I think what the writers are going for is the most devasting option is that these guys are Best Friends and that's so much worse.

Idk if any of ya'll ever had a best friend, but there are moments when you question if God made them just for you.

Because the closeness you feel in your soul and the Love that is the same Love and Loyalty you reserve only for Family outpours to them as well. And they aren't family but they're someone who knows the most inner parts of you. A best friend is someone who loves you back just the same.

I honestly believe that there was nothing Frank could've ever done that would've turned Alex away from him. Frank was blinded by revenge and accidentally killed an innocent girl, but Alex remained by his side.

It just killed me because Frank could've kept going, Idk if he retires after COD 6 something tells me he does, but he doesn't.

David needs him. He needs to keep Alex's memory alive and I personally headcannon that Frank mentions Alex all the time. Like it's rare if you don't hear about Frank's best friend Alex in a whole week because that was Frank's best friend and he was a Badass.

Anyways there might've been more for me to say but it's late .

(Excuse typos and anytime I type in caps it's because I'm yelling.)

[charmedreincarnation]

My sucess story

Trigger Warning: Abusive, homophobia, mentions of suicide

Hey there, Maya! I just had to take a moment and express my appreciation for all the fantastic posts you put out. I can now confirm, without a shadow of a doubt, that shifting is real, manifesting is real, and so is the void. Our desires and ambitions aren't in vain.

I've been part of the shifting community since 2020 when it exploded on TikTok. It might not matter much, but as a gay man, I rarely saw other guys in the community (though Reddit and Amino have a more diverse crowd). I've always felt more comfortable in women-centric spaces because they tend to be less judgmental.

I never saw success stories from guys, especially the kind I wanted to see - like waking up in a new world, not just manifesting money or a girlfriend (or boyfriend in my case >.<). I've always been spiritual and interested in witchcraft, voodoo, deities, and now manifesting and shifting. But it felt like nothing would let me shift.

Growing up with homophobic and physically abusive parents, struggling with poverty, depression, homelessness, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and more, I began to feel like you could only manifest and shift if your life was okay. I didn't have the luxury of time or safety to practice methods, constantly dealing with noise, verbal abuse, or physical violence.

Then, I read this post

https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/14v4lw3/how_to_shift_the_next_time_you_go_to_sleep/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

It led me to your Tumblr because OP used some of your old posts and talked about the concept of the void. All searched lead to tumblr. A couple of months ago (2.5 ish) after one of the worst days of my life, I went to bed sobbing, trying to block out the noise around me, praying and crying for anything - death, shifting, a new identity...

Everything around me started to fade - it was as if I was being engulfed by a white, serene blanket of nothingness. It was completely silent, and I couldn't see or feel anything. The only thing that seemed to persist was my awareness.

Now, I've read about the void before, but mostly in the context of it being a black, empty space. So, I'm not entirely sure if what I experienced was indeed the void or something altogether different. The concept still baffles me a bit, but I'm learning and growing through these experiences.

Regardless of where I was, my heart was set on reaching my dr.I kept praying and hoping, to wake up in my DR.

I woke up in my Twitch streamer DR! I found myself in a completely unfamiliar yet perfect place. My room was equipped with a high-end PC, top-notch gaming gear, and quaint decor items. Milo, my dog, was there too. I was sharing a mansion in LA with my boyfriend and four other streamers. The house was beyond my imagination, and streaming here was a dream come true. As night fell, my friends and I explored the vibrant LA nightlife, creating lasting memories.

After a week, i can’t lie I almost forgot I had shifted here. Then, I set an intention to shift back into this reality but where I had moved out, lived with my best friend and their supportive parents, mastered shifting and manifesting, had my desired looks, and money came easily to me. And it worked!

Since then, I've been living my best boujee gay life, and I shift all the time. I even created a waiting room where I'm immortal and use it whenever I need a break. I wish I could offer better advice, but like everyone says, there isn't a key to shifting. It's different for everyone. But you can and will shift. You can manifest your dream life. You can and deserve to be happy

Oh my god, I'm so happy for you, love 💕💕. I also completely related to what you felt. I know it can seem like your circumstances are holding you back, but believe me when I say this - that couldn't be further from the truth.

It's that same resilience, and your ability to persist despite the odds, that paved the way to your dream life. There’s nothing, I mean nothing that can stop you. Not wavering, crying, or doubt. Nothing. If you want it, it’s yours.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Batman: No, I'm not happy, you know what? Because we have been here for three days already, and you know what day was yesterday? Valentine's day, my husband said he was ok with me being here, but I saw the deception in his eyes. I would have taken him in a five stars restaurant, and you know the best part? All my kids have partners so the mansion would be just for us, so I would take him home, pick him up and make out with him from the garage to our room, where we would have hours of kinky gay sex untill we can't move anymore and we would cuddle so hard that we would break the law of two bodies can't occupy the same space, but NO, I'm here trying to save the world from some alien AGAIN.

Clark:... I only asked if you wanted some coffee.

Bruce: ....

Clark: ....

Bruce: ...no, thank you. My husband's trying to get me to cut back.

Clark: I wonder why.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Don't you think it's funny cause actual canon gay characters in BL manga will say "I love you" but only the shounen bromance can spew out some of the most romantic shit akin to a 19th century poet writing a letter expressing his surpressed love for his lover 😭.....

Genuniely can't tell if it's bait or not, but I'm going to treat this ask seriously anyway.

Here, have some examples of beautiful and poetic expressions of love in BL media!

I'm going to start with my favourite murder husbands, Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu from Word of Honor/Faraway Wanderers!

This happens in episode nine, less than one third into the story- it's that early, they've known each other for like a week and are already able to tell they're meant to be. They've made their decision to be together, and over the course of the story:

They defend each other multiple times and fight side by side in multiple episodes, sometimes protecting their adopted kid/mentee Chengling as well

Zhou Zishu is willing to go against the whole martial arts society for his boyfriend. With zero hesistation, might I add.

They both know the other has done horrible things (lots of murder on both sides here) and that's not only okay, it's a big part of why they're soulmates and get each other so well!

Zhou Zishu is slowly dying (poisoned nails in his chest, long story) and Wen Kexing can and will risk his life to save him. Don't worry, they get a happy ending both in the show and the novel even if the show's last episode is behind a paywall and Netflix didn't even include it for some reason?

But enough about them, let's move on to the immortal fantasy genre boyfriends Hua Cheng and Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing!

Please note how Hua Cheng is ready to accept Xie Lian in whatever state he's currently in- as a god, a fallen outcast, even grieving and angry and at his absolute lowest. He's stood by Xie Lian in his worst moments, even if at the time Xie Lian had no idea it was him.

Hua Cheng has loved Xie Lian for 800 years, ever since he was a boy Xie Lian saved from falling to his death during a procession.

Xie Lian became a god, then fell due to horrible circumstances, almost committed a war crime against another nation that destroyed his country, spend 800 years wandering the mortal realm as a poor cultivator with his powers greatly reduced, and eventually ascended to become a god again. Throughout it all, Hua Cheng loved him and did his best to help him and then find him.

They're both adorable and the definition of a power couple once they're reunited- no spoilers, but they eventually fight an incredibly powerful god side by side and win & the last scene in the story is them reuniting for good since there's no more obstacles to their immortal love.

Let's move on to my favourite Japanese BL, Our Dining Table (also available as a series that came out semi-recently, but the examples below are from the manga.)

Yutaka is a lonely salesman who meets Minoru, a restaurant worker and his much younger brother Tane grieving the death of their mother.

Yutaka and Minoru hit it off by bonding through food they cook and share. The series is incredibly heartwarming, and as seen above Yutaka becomes a much happier person thanks to both his new relationship and big brother-like bond with little Tane.

As a little bonus, the whole found family together!

This post can't be complete without Golden Stage (or Golden Terrace, as the English official translation calls it).

Fu Shen and Yan Xiaohan aren't even in love at this point! This is at the beginning of the story, when their marriage has just been arranged by the emperor and they're still bitter rivals.

Yan Xiaohan is already protective of his future husband- later on, he also builds him a mansion meant to accommodate his disability (nerve damage in both legs, which requires a wheelchair and/or crutches). They're both incredibly powerful military generals, and the emperor was an idiot thinking an arranged marriage would humiliate them.

Of course they fall in love, of course they're a power couple, of course they send each other letters through trained geese when they're separated during the war, of course they run to each other as fast as they can across a wide cold river when they're finally reunited! Of course they're important to me!

....Aaand how about some Wangxian to wrap up this post? They need no introduction, an absolutely wonderful and complex relationship in a complex fantasy/intrigue story available in several forms - the books, the animated series (as seen above), the live action series, the audio drama, there's so much!

Some of their most beautiful moments:

Lan Wangji writing a song for Wei Wuxian and naming it Wangxian. Years after it's composed, Wei Wuxian plays it and LWJ is able to recognise him even in a different body.

LWJ begs WWX to come with him to Cloud Recesses, to safety, after WWX makes himself an enemy of the whole cultivation world for protecting innocent people.

They confront the final villain together, and work together to expose his crimes. This is also when their final love confession happens, and it's hilarious- in front of everyone's salad, WWX declares he also wanted to sleep with LWJ.

Despite censorship, the animated series was still able to allude to their wedding, showing them in red wedding robes (unfortunately can't find a gif rn)

Respectfully, if you genuinely think BL doesn't have beautiful love confessions and displays of romance, you need to find better BL.

[drownedinlavender]

Chaos Victor, my beloved, I had this particular scene for this fic written since FOREVER AGO!! It was one of the first pieces I wrote, I am SO glad I finally got to it in my story 😭😭

Excerpt from Chapter 12 of Be Nice to Me featuring Butters being Victor Chaos:

“Hey, guys,” Cartman reaches over to sit in between Kenny and Leopold when suddenly, both Clyde and Craig block him.

“Woah, dude, hold up,” Clyde warns.

“Yeah, man, trust me, you do not want to do that,” Craig slowly shakes his head no.

“Here, man, sit here,” Clyde scooches over, making some room between himself and Leopold.

“Uuuh,” he skeptically looks around, confused, but ultimately concedes, “yeah, sure.” He takes a seat and asks, “Soooo… what the fuck was that?”

Kyle sits across from him.

“It’s a long story,” Craig dismisses, getting back to his lunch.

“I guess we should catch him up to speed on it, huh?” Leopold suggests.

“On what?” Cartman arches an eyebrow.

"Well, for one thing, Leo," Kyle pointedly sends a glare at the seemingly innocent blonde's direction, Leo shrinks a bit at the stare. He nervously laughs while Kyle continues, "got really into crypto. So into it, in fact, that he ended up making his own coin. The buttcoin."

Kenny giggles at the name. It gets him everytime.

"E-everyone in town kept i-investing in it. It became quite the b-bi-b-bi-big ordeal," Jimmy adds.

"Our idiot parents even got seriously crippling loans to buy into it," Stan scoffs, recalling the stupidity of his father and the disappointment of his mother.

"Mine put out a loan on our car and house." Clyde dejectedly frowns.

"Mine their mansion," Tolkien sighs.

"All of them did, th-they're all m-mm-m-morons," Jimmy quips.

"We were all gonna end up homeless thanks to Leo," Craig blankly points.

Cartman’s eyes widen. “Holy shit, really?” He’s honestly impressed. He didn’t know Butters had it in him.

"Aw, I said I was real sorry, fellas." He meekly looks down at his knuckles, tapping them together.

"Kenny even threatened to tell his parents he was Victor Chaos, the guy that made Buttcoin, but his parents were happy to find out their kid was a billionaire and didn't ground him for it," Stan adds.

"We had to hire Bitcoin scammers from Russia to hack into Leo's account and return everyone's money," Kyle summarizes.

"Yeah and he got hella grounded after that," Clyde laughs while pointing at Leopold.

"Yeah," Leo looks down, "my parents were awful sore with me."

"Pfft, no way dude, that's so weak," Cartman taunts, but then wonders, “okay, but how does that have anything to do with what just happened?”

"So before that Kenny had this whole big fight with him, right?” Clyde keeps going.

Kenny avoids eye contact, still embarrassed about what happened.

“He threatened that he wouldn't be his friend anymore if he kept selling Buttcoin, and the Asian girls saw it and drew a bunch of dramatic yaoi art about it.”

"Yeah, my parents were real upset about me being gay when they found out," Leo pouts.

"My dad wasn't too happy about it either …" Kenny mutters, his eyes seemingly pensive.

"Yeah but then everyone started giving him money and he became pretty pushy about it," Stan reminds him. Kenny looks down at his food, seemingly deep in thought.

"Leo's dad sent him away to some anti-gay all boy boarding school again and Kenny felt kinda guilty so we decided to help break him out. Apparently, the boarding place was experimenting on kids, trying to make them all super powered gays to use in the army or something. We let one out and they blew the place up," Kyle nonchalantly explains.

"Yeah, kind of a dick move to not wait until we were fully out. I mean, we did save him after all," Stan fusses, still miffed about it.

"How did we survive the blast again?" Leopold tries to remember but for the life of him can’t.

"I shielded you guys…" Kenny answers under his breath, barely audible, his chin resting on the palm of his hand.

"What was that, Ken?" Leo asks.

“Actually, Kenny, where did you go after the explosion? I can't remember,” Kyle curiously asks.

Kenny takes a deep breath in before letting it out, centering himself. "I was just knocked out for a bit," he lies.

“You were?” Stan questions, still unable to properly remember.

“I'm here now so it doesn't matter, continue on with what happened,” he motions with his hand to continue, seemingly not in the best of moods.

“Huh, well,” Stan notices but decides it’s best to drop it and keep telling the story, “Leopold’s dad was just happy to see his son alive and decided to accept him no matter how gay he was.”

"Which I'm not! The stupid Asian girls made me," Butters protests with a huff.

"Now you know how we felt," Craig says.

"Yeah, but you guys are, like, actually a thing now so…" Stan gestures at the two.

"Yeah, you can't complain, I mean, look at you," Tolkien points at Craig who has his arm around Tweek while Tweek's resting his head on top of his shoulder.

"W-well, that may be true, but we can still complain about how it happened!" Tweek tugs on his crew neck.

"But Kenny loves tits… and pussy! Like, to an unhealthy extent," Cartman stares at the two blonds, dumbfounded at the turns of events that took place in his absence.

Kenny shrugs, simply continuing to eat his lunch.

“.... My dad did tell me that everyone’s at least a little bit gay once,” Stan states, glancing a bit at Tolkien while speaking.

“Yeah but your dad’s dumb as fuck, dude,” Kyle casually remarks.

“Hey, he can be right sometimes! … On occasion,” Stan looks down at his lunch tray, not fully believing what he’s saying himself.

“Yeah, I think my dad said that once, too,” Tolkien tries to casually agree, also averting eye contact.

Stan lightly blushes.

“No, you guys are just f-f-fa-fa-fags,” Jimmy smiles.

_______

I really used the whole ass roster for this one lmaoo 💀💀 I love writing when all the main kids are together

[thesnazzysharky]

Semi-lore accurate responses from the specimens (and some other characters) to you coming out

Found this post interesting and charming and wanted to do a sjsm themed one for the funnies.

Specimen 1

"..." (You've come to realize that, yes, this entity is indeed made out of cardboard and can not, in fact, speak)

Gel

"G-go...goo...go...good fo-for (groans and rubs throat in pain) y-you... (coughs)"

Subject 5

"*spiderpede noises* (are you food?)"

Ringu

*laughs* "Oh wow! I never could've guessed! Well, come here and get in my belly child. I can protect you from those who oppose your nature..."

Bab

(WEIRD ASS CREAKING AND CROAKING NOISES OF APPROVAL)

Ben the Merchant

"Ah. I suppose I don't mind it. But to think that stating such a thing would get you faced with endless ridicule or possibly even worse back in my time... intriguing how such a thing works..."

The White Cat

"To not be afraid of who you truly are from within. To not keep yourself locked away within a vault. That is a skill many more should learn from"

The Wall of Flesh

(HISSES AND SCREECHES LOUDLY)

Deer Lord

"I SHALL ESTABLISH PEACE WITH YOUR LIKING CHILD. SO LONG AS YOU CAN RETURN SUCH PEACE BACK"

The Worm Eel

(Happy worm noises) :)

The Parasite

(Alien noises of confusion. Doesn't seem like it understood what you said)

Beef Demon

"…maercs uoy raeh llits ot teg I sa gnol oS .etanimircsid t'nod I .em ot ecnereffid on sekam ti ,reveohw ,yranibnon ,naibsel ,yag ,dlihc ,namow ,nam ti eB" (Be it man, woman, child, gay, lesbian, nonbinary, whoever, it makes no difference to me. I don't discriminate. So long as I get to still hear you scream…)

The Mansion Within a Mansion

"Happy for you! You should stay here where you are welcomed and appreciated :)"

The Old Man

"That's great! Why don't you stay put here so I can get to know you more :)"

The Siren

(She gives you a big and toothy smile)

White Face

"How great!"

Otto the Otter

(Deep laugh) "Otto will always love you!"

Spooper

"..."

Tirsiak

"I sensed such an attribute within you prior. But I peacefully approve nonetheless"

Lisa

"Aww. No need to be so shy about it dear! I understand"

The Security Guard

(Groaning zombie noises of indifference)

The Body Bag

(The corpse doesn't move a muscle, but you hear a faint whispering voice from within your head) "Keep being you"

Baby Face

(Wailing and crying)

The Hanged Man

"Great... NOW HELP ME GET THIS COW THING OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER MINUTE OF THIS TORTURE!!!!!"

Ghost Cow

"Heh... you humans sure are amusing things... say... how would you feel if I possessed your body and walked it off a high cliff?"

Bekka

"To receive such news! Oh I'm happy for you! You got up to tell me this before Saturday however..."

Husks

(After explaining in detail because they didn't get it the first time) "Wait, so... guys can... like... LIKE guys... and girls can like LIKE girls...? Woah..." (They seem genuinely mindblown by this)

Woormy Charles

(He tilts his head to the side. He doesn't seem to fully understand but he gives you a hug anyways)

The Clown

*laughs manically* "Now that is a surprise!"

Hooked Doll

"As long as you don't hurt me like they did... we're fine with each other..."

Frenzy

"That's sweet dear! Just keep care of that doll of yours..."

The Class Shadows

"We don't mind..."

The Violent Deer

(Hisses at you)

W.A.M

(Throws up a peace sign and disappears)

Howard

(SCREAMS LOUDLY)

The Brain

(Weird brain noises)

The Virus

(Lightly hisses)

Scare Chair

(Yep. That is indeed a chair you're talking to)

Carl

(Smiles brightly at you)

Clicky

"B-but when I told Daddy if I could marry a girl he told me that was bad! This isn't fair!"

Watching Doll

(Stares blankly)

Nightmares

(SCREECHES)

Spooky

"Well If I support trans rights then I obviously support gay rights! You will always be welcomed to the army friend!"

Spooky's Father

"Well... I guess I did say in the job offerings that anyone is welcome to work at my company... welcome!"

The Protagonist

(Nods and gives you a thumbs up)

Taker

TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS TO TAKE THE GAYS

[themysteriousauthor18]

Alastor comes out as Ace to Lucifer

(HEY ALL MY ACE'S OUT THERE! If you are or are not a radioapple shipper thats fine. But...I'm praticing trying to write Alastor as ace, or I think grayace? (please feel free to correct me.) Anyway I'd like the opinion of people on that spectrum to tell me how good or bad I did. And were I could improve if needed. Thank you! And thanks for reading!

The current scene is set somewhere in the 1990s. Alastor and Lucifer have been dating (around) a month at this point (can be changed later). Lucifer and Charlie are having a sleepover at Alastor’s house (they do this often now) and Lucifer is laying in bed with Alastor while Charlie is bunking it with Alastor’s mom in her room.(?) The concept of gay is a new concept to people in this era and while its legal its frowned upon. So being asexual is an undiscovered thing and while Alastor is ace he doesn't understand it. Or understand its okay and there isn't something wrong with him.

Lucifer liked Alastor’s house. 

He liked how warm, cozy and inviting it felt opposed to the gigantic mansion he owned. He liked how small Alastor’s bed was compared to his own. Because his bed felt empty. Hallow. Alastors was small and cozy and because it was small it made them have to lay closer to each other. Which…neither ever seemed to mind. 

He liked it here. 

He liked taking Charlie out along the banks with Alastor to go exploring. He liked how warm the neighborhood was. How kind they were to Charlie. How the fellow kids in the neighborhood played with her. It was such a stark contrast to the wandering judging eyes of his own neighborhood.

As Lucifer lay there though, Alastor in his arms. He felt something was off. Alastor felt…tight. His body was tense. “Alastor?” He asked, gently. His voice is quiet. “Are you awake?” It had to be almost midnight if not early morning by now. But since the birds were quiet, he assumed night.

“Mm.”Lucifer lays there for a moment. He’s unsure if Alastor is really awake or if he’s sleep talking. He’s about to try going to sleep himself when he feels Alastor move in his arms. When he opens his eyes Alastor is moving away and sitting up. Lucifer lays there for a moment, watching Alastor with growing worry as he sits facing away from him. He’s hunched forward and his head is hanging low. 

After a moment, Lucifer sits up too. 

“Whats wrong?” He asks carefully. 

Alastor's response is immediate. “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay?” He shifts forward but Alastor turns away. So…he keeps his distance. 

They sit there in silence for a few minutes. Lucifer tries to fight the anxiety growing in his chest like a beast. And the desire to start pacing around the room. He settles for tugging at the sheets repeatedly. 

“I understand we have been together for a month now. And this may seem sudden. But I believe there’s something we need to talk about.” 

“ …I’m listening.”

Alastor looks nervous, he’s staring at the wall without a hint of a smile on his face. Lucifer noticed Alastor smiled a lot as a person. A long sigh comes from him. And at least a few minutes pass before Alastor even tries to speak again. It's like he’s contemplating dropping the subject altogether. Lucifer’s grateful he doesn’t. Because he’s not sure he wouldn’t be able to not worry about it if he knew something was on Alastor’s mind. And that it was bothering him.

“I…” He starts, messing with the bottom of his hair. “I’m not a very big fan of sex, or…sexual activities in general.” 

The statement catches Lucifer off guard. Because…well, like Alastor said they’d only been together for a month. And sure he’d known plenty of people and friends who had done way more than he’s done with Alastor in a month. But, he enjoyed that they were taking things slow. After literally marrying someone at 18 and having a child at 19 (even though he loved Charlie very much)  just to be divorced not long after, taking things slow was what he desperately needed. Having said that, neither of them had even glanced at the topic of sex. So to hear Alastor bring it up felt…strange.

"Where's this coming from?” he decides to say. Unsure about what he should say on the statement itself yet. He needs to know where Alastor’s mind is at first.

Alastor is fidgeting. Being around him for this long, he’s picked up on the notion that Alastor does that when he’s nervous. Not a man to typically wear his heart on his sleeve. But it's not entirely difficult to figure out what he’s thinking or feeling if you knew what signs to look for. 

Lucifer slides up, and places a gentle hand on Alastor's forearm. Alastor doesn’t look at him. He’s looking down, his long hair covering his face and making it impossible to see his expression. But he doesn’t move away, or move the hand. “Hey, you can talk to me Al. I’m not judging, I’m just trying to understand what's going on.”

It makes him worry when Alastor doesn’t seem to relax. Even when he’s said that. But Lucifer waits there, patiently. The two of them tangled in the sheets, sitting together. Eventually Alastor does speak again and it's slow and cautious. Maybe even a little…scared?

“I’ve never…been a fan of sex. Or sexual things. It's just….it's not something I could ever really get into. That's not to say I don’t like it? I just like it in a different way?” He leans his face into his hand. “I’ve only had two relationships in my life. And maybe that’s pathetic for someone who is 25 but that doesn’t matter. I suppose 3 if you count us but I’m not counting us in this particular situation.” Lucifer frowns, unsure of what that’s supposed to mean. Should he be worried? He keeps those thoughts to himself for now, letting Alastor go on. 

“The details of those relationships aren’t important. What is important is that they both were very physically intimate people. They both liked to indulge in sex quite a lot. And I tried to satisfy them both when I was with each of them. But I felt…uncomfortable, with how much it happened.” Alastor shifts, pulling his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Lucifer can see his eyes now but not the rest of his face. His eyes are dark and they are facing down. Away from him. “My first relationship was with a woman. And naturally I lost my virginity to her. But I remember my reaction to sex itself was just… ‘that's it?’ She seemed to enjoy it and love it. But I didn’t, not really.  I liked that it made her happy. I tried to like it as much as her. For her.” 

Lucifer remembered Alastor discussing his second relationship briefly, on the night of their first kiss. He remembered that one was with a man. He briefly wondered if Alastor was into both men and women or just men now? Another time…

“Eventually, we’d been together for long enough that I thought I could bring my discomfort to her. And talk about it. But she took it as an insult. That just because I didn’t particularly enjoy sex itself, I didn’t love her. But that wasn’t what I was trying to say. However she didn’t see it that way,” he pauses. Lucifer sees the way Alastor’s shoulders tighten. “She looked at me like something was wrong with me. And that was that. And I was on to my next relationship within a year. You already know about that one. But what you don’t know is that the end result was more or less the same.”

Lucifer wants to hug him. …He doesn’t.

“I…I actually quite enjoyed Vox’s personality. He was similar to me, in a way. We both liked to dance, we liked jazz and singing. We shared a lot of common interests. And once again I thought we’d be on the same page if I voiced my discomfort. But again, he had a similar reaction. He didn’t take my statement as not loving him, but took it as there being something wrong with me. ‘How can a man not love sex. You're a man. Are you sure you like men? Because maybe you just prefer to bed a woman.’ Is essentially what he told me.”

“What a dick.” Lucifer mutters, unable to help it.

Alastor actually chuckles, just a little.  “Yes that…didn’t feel too nice to hear.” He shrugged, “he also said that it was something I’d learn to like in time. And that I was just getting bored, or it was because it was new. So…we tried a lot of things. …I tried a lot of things for him. But I didn’t like any of them. I liked how he seemed to like it. But, I didn’t like it. And I didn’t really like how much we did it. I just wanted to hang out or cuddle honestly. Having sex was…fine, once in a while but I felt guilty. Like, there was something wrong with me because I was never as into it as they were.”

“In the time I’ve come to get to know you, Lucifer. I’ve learned you are a very open-minded and down to earth man. That’s something I’m very grateful for, because it was something those two lacked. But you are still a man, a person. And I imagine you still have needs and desires. And…” Alastor hesitates, he swallows and continues a bit more cautiously. “Truth be told, I’m a bit scared. That I will disappoint you the same way I disappointed them. So, that's why I’m bringing this up now. I do adore you, and Charlie. But I can understand if this…if me being broken like this deters you from going any further in this relationship.”

“Alastor.” Lucifer says abruptly, Alastor flinches. He flinches?! Lucifer tried to hold his tongue but couldn't help it anymore. So he lets everything spill out about what he’s been thinking. Uncaring of how messy it comes out. 

“There’s not a damn thing wrong with you Alastor. You're not broken or anything.” The brunette finally looks at him, and he’s…surprised? Taken aback? Like he was expecting him to say something else. Lucifer continues. “Look, I…I’m not really that into sex either. I like it, sure. But that's not all there is to a relationship.” He shrugs, his cheeks tinting pink a little but he continues to look at Alastor. He needs to know Alastor is listening. “I love hanging out with you, I love it when you go with me and Charlie on outings.” He pauses, taking one of Alastor's hands in his own and squeezing it. Alastor smiles. Lucifer does too. “I like this. Just sitting here in bed with you. I like having these sleepovers where we just lay in bed and talk about things we like. Or talk about our day…I like you. And I want you to be comfortable with me. I don’t think it’s weird that you aren’t into sex. It’s fine. And you shouldn’t think you're broken or anything like that because you're not. You're amazing Alastor. And if you're not super into sex that’s completely fine with me. As long as I can still smother you with kisses.`` He pauses, “if that's something you're comfortable with?”

Alastor grins. His face lights up. “Always.” Lucifer pulls Alastor in for a hug and he gladly accepts. Pressing his face against Lucifer's shoulder. Lucifer holds him there like he’s protecting him from the world. And Alastor holds onto him with a new found love.  “Should we ever get to that bridge though…” Alastor says, his voice a little muffled but Lucifer can understand him. “I…I wouldn’t be against it. With you.” 

He can see the tips of Alastor’s ears tinting red. But he doesn’t make a comment on it. “Yeah well…” Now Lucifer blushes. “Likewise. But…let’s just enjoy being together for right now.” 

Alastor hums, more than happy to do that. His body finally relaxes in Lucifer’s hold and before either of them know it they’ve fallen asleep. 

[asheurbanipal]

If I have your wife, then kill me and eat me whole

on A03

<<Previous Episode : Next Episode>>

Summary:

As Logan and Wade move out of their honeymoon phase, more complex relationship issues emerge. For Wade, it's a surge of jealousy. A jealousy that Logan is doing everything in his power not to reflect back, reigning in its destructive power. It takes a harrowing encounter with a bolt cutter to get them on the same page.

Deadpool/Wolverine

Explicit

Words: 7044

One-shot in series

Content: angst, oral, jealousy, violence, mild torture. kidnapping

Should have gone to the gay bar. Those vibes look immaculate over there.

Wade laid his hands loosely around a chipped highball glass and a bottle of the shittiest beer imaginable, the bar dark against his back. He ran through the last few days, double checking everything off the list.

Day one: recon. No issue. Their security was garbage. 

Day two: copy the data. Easy. Just slap that bitch on a flashdrive. 

Day three: flash drive delivery to a drop location but not before making a copy to pass off to the X-Men. Not that the client knew about that part. 

Day four: attacked by a group of ninja? Samurai? Some kind of a fighting force all in black with a weird overtone of anti-Asian stereotyping. They were clearly pissed off about the whole "stealing information" thing, and he and Logan kind of accidentally killed them all before finding out the details. 

Oops.

And not even any hand-written letters laying out revenge plans to scavenge from a corpse.

In order to do mercenary work while still upholding the moral standards of the X-Men, Logan had a set of rules and compromises to follow if he was going to join Wade on a job. No politics. Nothing that harmed a pro-mutant organization. Nothing that got in the way of scientific progress (that was a special request from Hank). The X-Men got a copy of any data obtained during corporate espionage. They may not need it, at the moment, but knowledge was power. 

And as few corpses as possible with the ideal number being zero. 

Oops, again.

I'll take the heat on that one with Mr. Lazer and Wheels. 

If Logan slipped up too much on a mission or let Wade get too far afield, they might lose access to the little cottage on the edge of the mansion property. Xavier, at some point, had conceived of a version of the school that was a little more…general? Something like that? And that meant non-mutant teachers, maybe? Wade was still unclear on the reasoning, just that it meant there were little two-room cabins scattered at the far extents of the grounds. These had been offered as a place for him and Logan to live as long as they behaved.

It had been very hard to behave. 

They had been able to get a drop-off from the Blackbird on its way to whatever business, but they had to drive back over the next two days. They had taken off right after dealing with the vaguely racist commandos, so they were still dressed in their suits from the neck down. Logan needed a "goddamn drink" before they settled in for the night at the nearby shit-fuck motel. The only place that would take cash and not ask questions. No credit cards when someone was on your ass. 

And Logan had pulled him into this place. Dark. Depressing. Okay, yeah, maybe perfect, honestly. Wade slammed back a swig from his bottle, then rolled it along its bottom edge. 

A body dropped onto the barstool next to him. Wade gave the guy half a glance but didn't linger. He didn't look like someone out to kill him. Not a recognizable antagonist. Kind of weird that he sat right there, but then people were allowed to be weird in a perfectly mundane fashion. 

Still…

He flicked a knife on the inside of his wrist and waited for shit to get stupid. 

"You here alone?" the fucking weirdo asked. This time Wade actually looked at him. Big guy, soft and jowly, trucker cap on backwards, greasy with a sort of mullet thing happening. Patchy, gross-ass goatee. Just a real mess of a man. 

"No, here with my boyfriend. But he's taking a piss." Wade tapped the edge of the glass of Wild Turkey that he was guarding for Logan. 

"Boyfriend?" Gross-dude took a swig of his Coors Lite. 

"Yeah. He's The Wolverine. The X-Man Wolverine."

"I'm sure he is." They guy leaned in, moving his body into Wade's space. 

"No, I mean that literally. And he will kick your ass." Wade flexed his wrist, tipping his knife into place. 

Gross-dude dropped his hand from the bar then started sliding it across Wade's thigh. 

"Maybe you give my little wolverine a try?"

Oh that is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.

Wade twitched the knife. He saw the image in his head, blade through the man's hand into his thigh. His reaction would be worth the pain and annoyance of repairing his suit.

Then out of the corner of his eye, the bathroom door opened. 

Oh no let Logan do it. That'll be hilarious. 

#####

What an absolute nightmare of a job. 

And now some asshole had his hand on Wade's thigh. He knew that was Deadpool, right? That he was about twenty seconds away from massive amounts of pain? 

But Wade wasn't doing anything. PTSD reaction? Freeze response?

No, Wade was fucking with him, probably. Some kind of weird goof. Better to step in before the guy got knocked down and didn't wake up again. He moved across the room to Wade's other side, slid a thumb through a loop on the back of Wade's suit, and plucked the worst bourbon he'd ever had up from the ring of Wade's arms.

"Hey, babe, are we ready to go soon?" They hadn't opened a tab, paying in cash, so they could just leave if this was going to be a problem.

"Yeah, I was just talking to my new friend." Wade's eyes narrowed at him in annoyance. Logan glanced down to see the man's hand slowly retreating. He had gotten the message. They were good to go. The man started backing away, hands up. 

But Wade kept looking at him. Then back at Logan. Then back at the man as he moved away. Then back at Logan. There was something there, like he was attempting to communicate without words. He could barely communicate with his words, so this wasn't effective. 

"Really?" Wade finally said.

"What?" Logan took another sip of his drink. 

"Fucking…fine." 

The mad had made it back to his group of friends. Wade broke from Logan's light hook on his suit and took two steps to close the gap. With a single downward motion, he slammed one of his wrist knives into the guy's shoulder. Nothing vital, but something that would hurt like a sonofabitch going in and coming out. The guy spun around, falling back against the hightop behind him.

"It was a joke!" he gasped. "Hundred bucks for whoever pretended to hit on you."

"Oh. So you have to pretend? Not hot enough for a truck-stop impulse buy Billy Ray Cyrus?" 

Logan hooked his arm under Wade's. There was a stack of cash on the table; the payout for the bet. He snatched it and tucked it into his belt. 

"Payment for me not letting him kick your asses," Logan growled. "Wade, let's go." He dragged him across the room.

"Consent motherfuckers!" Wade barked as Logan managed to wrestle him through the door. They stumbled out onto the sidewalk, something saccharine and poppy but tantalizingly addictive drifting from the neon-colored club across the road. 

Their motel was right down the street, a planned walking distance. 

"You good?" Logan asked, wrapping his arm around Wade's waist. He pulled away. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he whined. 

"With me ? What's wrong with you ?" 

But Wade just huffed, taking off into the darkness. 

It was going to be one of those nights. 

"Like I just love how you see a man flirting with me, and you don't do anything."

There it was. It was two in the morning and Wade had been laying there next to him in their shitty motel bed, fuming silently. Logan had drifted into a very light sleep, but knew this was coming. He pressed his palms to his eyes and sat up a little, bed complaining under his weight.  

"He wasn't actually flirting with you."

"You didn't know that when you came out of the bathroom. I didn't even know that. You just saw a guy with his hand on my thigh, and you didn't do anything." 

Logan took a few deep breaths. Wade always worked from an internal logic. He just had to figure out what it was. 

"I came over. I put my hand on you. Acted intimidatingly. He left without a fight." He tried to be measured without sounding condescending or sarcastic. They couldn't both be bad at this, and he was trying so hard. "What else would you have liked me to do?"

"Stab him in the face."

"I'm not going to go straight to stabbing if I can de-escalate. We de-escalated….until you stabbed him, I guess. We talked about this. Stab first and ask questions later is something I'm trying to move away from."

"No, okay. I get the little code of ethics and anger management routine you're stuck on. That's not the problem." Wade lifted his hands, gesticulating in the dark.

"Was there something I didn't see? Were you in danger that I didn't notice?"

"No! He was just some asshole." He was getting madder and madder, but this line of questioning was working. He was narrowing in on the actual problem. And even under the anger he could hear Wade forcing himself to work out his issue verbally. As frustrated as he was, he was still managing to peel away layers. 

"Then I don't understand. What did you want me to do?" 

"I wanted you to be mad!" 

"I was upset." 

"No!" He shot up in bed. "I want you to be so mad that a guy is touching me that you inflict massive bodily harm." 

Logically, that wasn't going to happen. Yeah, he had sliced and diced for lesser things, but he was actively trying to not do that, now. Trying to rein it in. Create some fucking longevity instead of being ready to go out guns blazing at the next given opportunity. 

But, holy fuck, maybe he actually saw what Wade was upset about. 

"You want me to be jealous of other people showing you attention."

"Yes! Yes oh my god! Yes! Thank you. What is the point of having a super hot X-Men boyfriend with metal for fingers if he doesn't use them to scare other men away?" 

"Is it just men?"

"What?"

"What if a woman hits on you?"

And that short-circuited him, body-slumping over to think.

"Okay, come on, lay back down." Logan opened his arms, and Wade crawled in obediently. He was a creature of habit if nothing else. "We'll talk about it more in the morning." 

Wade nodded against his chest. He would either forget about it completely, or this was going to last for a week. Only the next day would tell. 

#####

"Jelly bean, buy me this shirt."

"Why?"

"Because you love me."

"Well, yes. Obviously." Logan's hand found a place in the small of Wade's back as he leaned in for a closer look at the display through the window. "But you have literally a dozen shirts with that fucking cat on it. You don't need another one." 

"Yeah, but this one has Kuromi." Wade swung around the archway into the store and made for the t-shirt wall, hoodie up, one hand in his pocket, the other around his drink. He didn't actually want anything. They had only stopped at the mall to grab some food and shake this black van that had been following them the past hour. Dragging The Wolverine into Hot Topic was just the top five funniest things of all time. He looked ridiculous in work boots and tight Levi's and t-shirt stretching taught over his chest

fucking stop it you're in public

I'm gonna tear that ass up later, though. 

Logan was better at compartmentalizing his horniness and letting it all out at once in an appropriate place. Maybe that was part of the issue.

Because the bar thing was still needling at him. 

They had resolved it last night. Logan understood why he was upset. He, in fact, went out of his way to try to understand why Wade was upset. That therapy shit was working. Maybe he ought to start going again. Because goddamn they were killing this whole communication business. 

He watched Logan sip his fountain drink and gently flick through the metal grate of earrings. Logan pulled one off the display. 

"You think Laura would like these?" he asked, showing them to Wade around the side of the grate. They were little bloody daggers that dangled, so yeah probably. One problem.

"They're one hundred percent her vibe, but her ears aren't pierced." Wade sipped on his bubble tea loudly. Logan stared at the earring card. 

"They aren't?"

Wade leaned in to speak in a low voice. Fuck if he wasn't going to occasionally practice a modicum of decency in public. 

"Remember when we were talking about dick piercings?"

"Right, healing factor." He slid the earrings back. 

"That is some excellent fathering, right there."

"Shut the fuck up."

"If your daughter can't get piercings, you can order clip-on converters online." The girl came out of nowhere, anime shirt and baggy jeans and oh my god was scene hair coming back? She was with a small group, maybe seventeen or eighteen years old. 

And all of them were staring at Logan as they milled around the store. Hungry eyes. Undressing him in their minds. He knew that look because he did it all the time. Only he was allowed to do it. These girls…these minors… weren't.

The rage was hotter than he expected. Like… a lot. Like if he had his guns on him, there would be a non-zero chance of brain and blood splatter across the Nightmare Before Christmas display.

"Shit. Okay." Logan pulled the earrings right back down then grabbed a few more sets, a variety of skulls and other cutesy depictions of deadly weaponry. "Did you actually want that t-shirt, babe?"

"No, I was just fuckin' with ya, honey bunny." The girls looked between them, taking in the implication of the exchange. Good. 

Yeah, I get it. I look like a hairless cat in drag. But I'm the one that pulled that hottie. That ass belongs to me. That mouth? Around my dick. Conversations about our deepest fears and lingering traumas? Yeah, I'm the one he has those with. 

That last one was the sexiest. 

"Wade?" Logan was at the door, already checked out and shoving his wallet back into his jeans. 

"Coming!" Wade shuffled back out through the door, glancing around the edge of his hood at the nearest girl. 

Coming for me TONIGHT more like. 

fuck, chill out, Wade

"You were giving that girl in there the evil eye," Logan said quietly, knocking his body against Wade's. 

"She was making eyes at my boyfriend." Wade slipped his arm into Logan's forcefully. Logan chuckled. 

"I think they were just being friendly. They saw a useless old man and tried to help."

"You cannot be this fucking dense, you immaculate asshole." 

"I…okay…I'm flattered you think teen girls would be into me, but you might be a little biased." 

"I'm certainly bi about that ass."

"That was a really bad one."

"They can't all be winners." Wade sucked down the last of his drink and tossed it in the trash as they passed. Logan reached over to do the same, and kissed Wade on the cheek in the process. 

"Does it make you mad to think of other people being attracted to me?" Logan asked, fishing.

"Absolutely livid. If I so much as think about someone looking at you with a lustful gaze, it's like…flames…shooting…off the side of my face. And I think about it all the time. When we're out in public I just know that people are looking at you then looking at me and being like 'oh, the bar is in hell, I guess.' But I'm sensible enough to know this level of obsession isn't normal, so I haven't stabbed anyone. Yet."

"Hm, okay." Logan's voice settled into a cadence of contemplation. 

no no no that makes me feel icky inside

"'Hm, okay' what? I don't like it when you think inside thoughts."

"I'm allowed to have those."

"Not around me you aren't." 

"Jesus fuck, Wade. Okay." He moved them into a side hallway that led down to the bathrooms and other backside navigation. "I didn't understand why you were upset last night because I don't think the same way you do. I don't get mad about people hitting on you. I don't even really think about it. It's not something I worry about at all. So-"

"Why don't you think about it?" Wade shoved his hands in his pockets. There was that sick feeling. The one that lurked in the back of his head. That this was all temporary. A happiness that he wasn't allowed to have. 

"That's what I'm getting to-" 

"You don't think I'm attractive enough? That other people wouldn't look at me like that?"

"Wade-"

"I mean I get that I look like a piebald moose testicle-"

"Please don't do that-" 

"-but to actually hear it from you." 

Logan slapped his hands around Wade's shoulders. 

"Wade, I-"  Wade didn't hear the other side of the statement, his vision going suddenly black. 

#####

Wade crumpled in front of him, and he only just managed to catch him as he fell. 

The people in the black van had found them, but where the fuck were they? There were too many people here. He couldn't get a scent on them. No sound. 

Something sharp bit into his neck and he slapped at it. Tiny blow dart. His vision swam, but it would take more than that to bring him down, the healing factor working immediately to purge it. Another one caught him in the middle of his back. Where the fuck was it coming from? He scrabbled along his own spine, trying to pry the dart out while still holding Wade against him. This one had more of a punch, and the sway started overtaking him. 

No. 

This was a bullshit way to go out. 

He hit his knee, bringing Wade down with him. 

"Wade…wake up. Fucking heal already." But then he felt his body fumble and fall into blackness. 

"They're waking up. Dose them again."

"These motherfuckers are heavy."

Ropes around the wrist and knees. Laying in the back of a van. Moving down the highway fast. Another bite on the ankle and the world faded again. 

"Hey, pookie bear, wake up." Something bonked lightly into the back of his skull. 

"Fuck." He startled back into consciousness. They were tied up back to back on chairs in a dark, nondescript room. "Oh this is stupid as fuck. Are these the people we stole the data from?"

"Probably," Wade said idly. There was a one-way window to his left, and he looked at Wade in the reflection. He was slumped a little but alert. 

 Logan tested how he had been tied to the chair. It was tight. Something stronger than it looked. Any old asshole could get adamantium and vibranium and all that shit, anymore. He flung out a claw, but the angle was wrong to do a direct cut. Together they should be fine to get out, though. Wade had a dozen knives on him at any given moment. 

"Alright. What's our plan?" Logan asked. 

"What do you mean you don't worry about people hitting on me?"

"Are we really doing this, right now?"

"We've got time!" 

"Gentlemen. You're awake." A nondescript man dressed in black sauntered in through a gray metal door. A pair of bolt cutters were slung over his arm. This was one of those kinds of sessions.

"Can this wait?" Wade asked with a pout. "We were in the middle of a relationship altering conversation."

This gave the man a bit of a pause, but he kept moving slowly, circling around to Wade. 

"Now, I recognize some professionals when I see them. So I'll cut to it quickly." He tapped the bolt cutter to Wade's hand. "Who sent you to steal from me?" He poised the cutter over Wade's pinky. 

"Bruh," Wade tsked. "I don't fucking know. Logie, my question."

"Wade, honey. Please pay attention to what's happening, right now." Logan wriggled their lashed together chairs. 

"Oh what's he gonna do, take a finger?" 

And he did, the cutter moving through Wade's pinky with a crack and squish. Wade jerked with the pain, but moved right back into the conversation. 

"I need an answer, Logan."

"Christ," Logan muttered. "No you're not conventionally attractive. Okay? So realistically I wouldn't expect you to get hit on by randos compared to, I don't know, fuckin' Ryan Reynolds."

"AHA! I THOUGHT SO!" The chairs jumped with his movement. 

"But that's not the point, goddamnit. I think you're hot as fuck, and that's all that should matter. I'm the only attention you should care about."

"Oh. Hm." Wade rocked their chairs a little. 

"Okay, as adorable as this is, I still have my own questions." Bolt cutter guy positioned the thing over Wade's next finger. "Who are you working for?."

"Your mother," Wade replied. "She hired me after I was done blowing her back out then providing appropriate after care."

The sound of the crunch on his next finger got lost under Wade's next complaint.

"So you wouldn't be mad if someone tried to pick me up in a bar?"

"No…not really...Because you're going home with me, in the end." 

"I really need an answer to my questions, so let me remind you," bolt-cutter said. 

CRUNCH. 

"Okay, that one fucking hurt a little," Wade said then turned back to the window to look at Logan in the reflection. "So you just…don't care? You don't care if some drunk dude slides his hands down my pants." 

"I don't understand what's happening here," bolt cutter guy said. 

CrUncH?

"I know that if some drunk guy slides his hands down your pants, he's not going home with a hand, Wade. If he goes home at all. So, yeah, I'll be mad that you had to go through something like that, and take revenge as needed, but I know you'll fucking deal with it. You're supposed to be the one I don't have to worry about." He hadn't said it out loud. It felt like too much pressure to put on the relationship. But now things were getting dire. 

cr-u-n-ch

"What the fuck does that mean?" Wade tried spinning, but he was stopped by the strapping on the chair. 

"I swear to God…" Bolt cutter guy started moving away, but Logan was too focused on Wade in the reflection to keep tracking him. 

"Everyone I love dies. Or gets converted to sapient space dust. Or didn't actually exist because the memory was implanted by some asshole. You just lost five fingers and still have the energy to bitch at me. I don't have to worry if my claws come out at the wrong time around you. If anything, you like it."

"I do. I'll admit that."

"I don't have to worry about you 24/7. I don't have to constantly think about how I'm going to protect you or if I can rescue you in time if a merc job goes wrong. Because you can take care of yourself. I can just breathe and focus on just being a person. Being a couple. Because I know you're going to come home at the end of the day."

"Maybe I want to be saved, sometimes." Wade squirmed in the chair, trying to get his face around to Logan's shoulder. "Maybe I don't want to have to take care of myself and let someone else do it. Maybe I'm also tired of having to protect everyone that I Iove all the time from goddamn mystical, world-ending bullshit. It's literally the reason I came and got you. To help me. So that I wouldn't have to do it alone. Maybe I don't want to have to carry that weight all the time either. It's too heavy."

"Fuck," Logan sighed. "You're right. I get what you're saying. Let's take some time after this to work it out."

"Maybe you stab a barista that smiles at me too long."

"We'll circle back to that." 

"You people are fucking insane." They both jumped, briefly forgetting  bolt cutter guy was there. "But I still need my answers. So maybe I switch gears." He moved from Wade to Logan, and tapped the circle of blade to Logan's hand. 

"Oh, no, those little piggies are mine, " growled Wade.

With the disgusting crunch of a dislocated shoulder and elbow, Wade managed to wriggle out of the bindings around his arms. 

"Could you do that the whole time?" Logan asked. 

"We were having a conversation," Wade replied. 

Loose from the bindings, he had enough space to pull the knife from the hidden space in the pocket of his hoodie and swing it hard into the side of bolt cutter guy. These idiots hadn't fully patted him down. Rookie mistake. 

The bolt cutter guy had thought this would go his way. He didn't have a backup plan beyond screaming about the knife now in his pancreas, swinging the cutter around in a panic. This left  plenty of time for Wade to reach down and break the chair legs free of the base. This didn't release the bindings around his ankles, but he could walk. He snapped his joints back into place with a series of cracks. 

"Who the fuck are you people?" Bolt-cutter backed up against the wall. 

"You really don't know? Holy shit." Wade pulled the knife free. With the force of that he lost his grip on the bolt-cutters. 

Wade sliced down through the bindings keeping Logan to the chair. 

"I'm Deadpool, and that's the goddamn Wolverine."

The bolt cutter guy reared back to swing the cutters, aiming for Wade's head with the rest of his strength.

Logan was as fast as Wade, ripping free from the chair, claws coming out in the time he crossed the room. A single movement up through his ribs, and bolt cutter guy dropped like a rock. They stared down at him, both covered in splatters of his blood.

"How much do you actually want to fight your way out of here?" Logan sighed. 

"My swords and guns are in the car, so it won't be nearly as fun." Wade leaned against the wall, wiping his knife on his hoodie. 

"Thinking the same thing." Logan moved toward the one-way window. Someone had to be on the other side. He tapped on the glass with the tip of his claw. "You got ten minutes, and we're busting through that door. We will be leaving. You decide what that looks like. This is the chance you get to go home to your kids tonight." 

Wade sidled up to him, slipping his arms around Logan's waist.

"I've…uh…I've lost a little more blood than I realized." 

Logan went to the bottom of his shirt and ripped strips away. 

"Give them here," Logan said. "Wrap your hand while I see where your fingers got to." He wandered back to the chair, searching the floor. 

"You don't have to do that, chicken tender." 

"It's faster, right? And they're all right here." Logan scooped them up from the floor. "Pretty clear cut. What fucking brand are these?" Logan also grabbed the bolt cutters, throwing them over his shoulder. "See if this brand makes hedge clippers." He held the fingers out to Wade. 

"Why the fuck are you thinking about hedge clippers, right now?" 

"The bush in front of the main window is too tall." 

Wade held the first of the fingers in place, waiting for it to attach. 

"I thought the kids on landscape duty took care of that." 

"They just run the riding mower. We do the hedges and edging. Well, I do. You haven't done shit."

"Ohh, when I get all these fingers back on we should do some edging." Wade bit his bottom lip as he worked on the next finger. 

"Hilarious." 

"Wait, who put in the dog-run for Puppins? I assumed that was one of the kids." He had made it through all his fingers but didn't dare stretch them, yet. 

"That was me. Laura helped."

"Oh…thank you. That was nice." Wade pecked Logan on the cheek.

"Those fuckin' zoomies…" But Logan didn't know what the rest of that sentence looked like and just sort of vaguely mimicked the act of running with his fingers. The crackle of a speaker came from somewhere above them, and a voice blared out. 

"Okay, you might talk a big game, but if you think you're getting out of here-BLACHT" 

The voice through the speaker cut off violently with a wet, choking sound. Splatty and gross. Wade jumped against Logan with surprise at the scream, clutching Logan's chest with his still healing hands. 

"Oh. Wait. It's the X-Men." Wade set his head against Logan's shoulder. "No big deal." Wade knocked on the  window. "We're in here, you sexy little spandex aficionados." Logan slapped his hand from the window.

"It could also be someone more annoying to deal with, and we just lost our escape window."

"Oh, no, it's totally them. I have a microtransponder in my shoe that I set off when I woke up here. These people did not pat us down well, at all." 

"You have a transponder…in your shoe…"

"Mhm. They don't want to lose you as an asset, so if you come with me on a job, I have to wear it. But I also wasn't supposed to tell you. Oops." 

"How long were you awake before me?" Logan canted his head toward Wade, pieces coming together now that the tranquilizer was working its way out completely. 

"A while. Ran my mouth at them so they'd torture me first. Figured I hold out longer than you. Also…you know…Don't like other people putting sharp things in you."

"Wade," Logan sighed. The bolt on the door cachunked , and Logan spun, claws clicking out. 

"Hallo! Please don't kill me." A furry blue hand slipped out the gap between the door and the wall and wiggled its fingers.

"Kurt, holy shit." The door swung open and Logan met Nightcrawler across the room. They shared a quick hug. "You haven't been at the mansion." 

"Business to attend to." He leaned around Logan. "Good to properly meet you Wade. Bad circumstances." Logan turned. Wade had gone a bit slackjawed, thinking. He snapped back, grinning.

"Let's get the fuck out of here, huh?"

#####

I didn't like it. I didn't like him hugging the little blue man. 

Wade, what the fuck is wrong with you? He's known them longer than you. 

I guess technically not, because it's not actually the same Nightcrawler. But conceptually he has. Fucking hate this multiverse shit. 

Just need to get my hands on him to feel better.

Get my fingers in his flesh.

The Blackbird might have swooped in to save them, but the team wasn't actually done with whatever weird little diplomatic mission they were on. Wade had been told that if he left the plane he would suffer dire consequences. Logan could join them if he wanted.

He didn't.

Suck my dick, X-Men. Logan keeps choosing me. 

Why am I in goddamn competition with the entire X-Men?

"Wade, you stopped talking." They were in the cargo hold. Logan was doing arms and ammunition inventory. Wade was cleaning the rifles. It was something to keep them busy. 

"You always tell me to shut up."

Logan turned sharply. 

"Then I won't do that anymore. I don't actually like it when you're quiet for too long. It means you're upset about something." Logan moved across the cargo hold and dropped in front of him on the floor. 

Wade put the rifle parts he was cleaning back in the bag and shoved them to the side. He opened his arms and that was the cue for Logan to crawl into his lap. He rolled forward over his knees and nestled his head into the pillow of Wade's crossed legs. Wade ran his fingers through Logan's bangs and combed them up over his crown. 

"I'm still thinking about the bar thing and the torture chamber stuff. I'm not mad, though." Wade waved his hands a little to shake off that presumption. "Just trying to sort myself and why I felt the way I did. And I'm not quite there, yet. I'll get it together, eventually." 

"I'm not stabbing any baristas."

"Just a little pokey poke if her hand lingers on mine and we share an unexpected moment?"

"I'll compromise by severing the ACL of the next waiter who laughs at your jokes just to get a bigger tip."

"Oh wait. No let them flirt for, like, one minute. Then crck. " He gestured across his throat with the back of his thumb. Logan chuckled, then his eyes flicked in thought. 

"To be perfectly clear, I'm not actually going to do that. However, I will have a bigger reaction to you getting hit on, and I will include minor threats of violence if they're being handsy. If that's something that makes you feel good about yourself." 

"Eh. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about flirting in a bar, anyway. Not like it's a regular occurrence. Mach speed blobfish isn't exactly a look that gets a lot of play."

"Hey." Logan reached up and poked him hard in the cheeks. "What have I told you about insulting my boyfriend?" 

"Self-deprecation is the foundation of my comedic genius, sugar bean. Take that from me, and I lose half my material." 

He's so pretty like this. Deep, creased laugh lines. Little crinkle between his eyebrows. Long nose. 

Wade ran his hands down Logan's jaw. Then he leaned down and kissed him upside down. 

Spiderman style.

Wade pulled back just enough to talk. 

"I don't actually need or even want you to protect me. You clearly need me to protect you, though." 

"Oh, what makes you say that?" Logan reached up to peck him on the lips.

"I'm the one with a radio in my shoe."

"That they forced you to wear."

"That I was clever enough to actually wear when they told me to instead of…not…doing that…" Wade ran his hands down Logan's chest, studying the place where he'd reattached his fingers only a few hours before. There was still a thin line as the flesh continued to knit itself together. He sat back up a little, drawing his hands back to Logan's temples. 

"So neither of us want to carry the weight of the world," Wade said with a drifting hum. "But we worked together on that TimeSplitter motherfucker, and we saved all of reality." Logan curled his hand over the top of Wade's.

"And we did it holding hands." Logan brought Wade's hand to his lips and kissed his palm.

"Fucking gross. When did we get this disgustingly cute?" 

Logan lifted his hands to catch the sides of Wade's head. 

"I've always been cute, you just had to catch up." He pulled Wade down to kiss him. He broke the kiss too soon, and Wade was about to complain before Logan turned over on his knees. He moved Wade's legs to part around him.  

Oh ?

Logan hooked his thumb around the zipper of Wade's jeans and drew it down. 

Yep.

His lips pressed to Wade's bulge through his boxers. He nosed open the fly and brought Wade's cock into his mouth, tongue running small circles over the tip. Wade wove his fingers through Logan's hair, locking into place, steadying himself against Logan's rhythm.

Logan Logan Logan

The refrain started up like it always did, a rattle that snaked around his brain and wiped everything else away. When Logan was touching him, he stopped thinking. He just was . He just existed as body and sensation. As nerve endings and neurochemicals.

Words that were already stupid became more senseless, that part of his brain going on autopilot.  

"Take me deeper, daddy." 

God, why the fuck did I say that?

Logan obliged, though, pushing into him until Wade's cock was brushing the back of his throat. His fingers went tighter in Logan's half-curls..  

Sweet baby Jesus, this man is going to kill me. 

#####

Wade's dick was rough, calloused like the rest of his skin. He loved it. Every time he put his mouth on Wade in some form or fashion, he fell a little more in love. In love with Wade's body. His form. In love with the pulse and beat of breath underneath.

Every time Wade talked, even when he spiraled out into nonsense, Logan found himself falling a little farther down into him. It was becoming harder and harder to imagine the version of himself that had hated him. That grew rabid with rage at his voice. 

Now? He wanted to devour him. He had spent so many years suppressing his rage just for it to explode and destroy everything at the exact wrong moment. He'd spent every moment since then trying to prevent something like that from ever happening again. Even if it didn't mean anything. Even if it didn't matter. And he'd almost done it. He'd packed every emotion away into the deepest part of himself and drowned it so he'd never have to feel anything. 

Then this motherfucker opened everything up again. And it became a tumult, emotions crashing over each other. 

He tucked his hands up under Wade's shirt, pressing his thumbs into Wade's stomach as he took him deeper. All the way to the back of his throat. The friction of his jeans on his own erection was bringing him to a mini-climax as he ground on Wade's shin. 

It rose like an ember, tensing his hands. Wade moved one hand out of his hair to touch his knuckles. 

"Let the claws out if you want, peanut. No organs, please."

The double sensation of Wade in his mouth and the dry, half-orgasm was enough to overwhelm him after the day so far, and he lost control of himself before he could change his hand shape. The claws came out his palms, instead, digging into Wade's lovehandles.

It hurt like fuck, but Wade's shiver underneath him was worth it. 

#####

And he might as well kill me now, because I'm already in heaven.

He clenched around the blades in his side, trying to focus on both the pinpricks of pain and the center of pleasure rising in his pelvis, wallowing in the combined rush of dopamine and endorphins. 

There was the tiniest puff of sound somewhere toward the front of the jet. Through his haze of ecstasy, Wade found a way to focus his attention in that general direction. 

Kurt.

He had realized what was happening mid pulling a bag down from the rack and froze. Wade lifted a finger to his lips and gestured violently with a throw of his head for him to leave. At the same time, Logan took a particularly long drag on him, drawing an absolutely unearthly sound out of Wade's body. 

Kurt puffed out of existence.

That'll learn ya. 

Fuck. Shit. Logan Logan

Distraction gone, his brain started shutting down again. 

Logan Logan Logan

"Logan," he whispered, the sound barely forming around his lips. Logan pulled away, and Wade almost cried. Logan looked up at him through his lashes, keeping his lips barely half an inch away from the tip of Wade's cock.  

"If you're going to say my name, say it properly instead of so quietly you think I can't hear you." He kissed the head. "Because I always do. Every time." He took him in again.

"Logan," Wade moaned. The moan turned to a whine as his stomach and pelvis went alight, his toes curling his shoes, tension breaking around his body. He came hard in Logan's mouth, pulling his face against his body until Logan's nose was touching where his pubic hair used to be.

He released his hands with a hard sigh and gasp, falling back against one of the bulkheads. Logan pulled back, cum and spit creating a bridge between Wade's cock and Logan's lips. He lifted up, pressing those messy lips to Wade's 

"I need to do you," Wade panted into Logan's mouth.

"I'm fine," Logan said. 

"Did you come in your pants, ground bear?" Wade grinned. 

"No," Logan said, but there was a shade of embarrassment. 

He totally did.

There was a clanging knock on the access hatch on the side into the cargo hold. Storm's voice followed. 

"Entering the ship!" 

"Good timing," Logan said, zipping up Wade's pants. "Imagine if they were just a few minutes earlier."

"Hahahah yeah."

Oops.

#####

Logan stood on the back porch, shirtless, letting Puppins out for her last romp of the night. The cherry red of his cigar burned out against the night sky and the glow of the mansion up the lawn. 

No smoking indoors, and Wade didn't really like the smell. So he'd reduced the frequency considerably. The booze, too. He hadn't felt the need to drink nearly as often, but it was never going away completely. After the last few days, for example, a high quality scotch and a cigar did just the trick. 

His phone buzzed on the side table, and he picked it up. It was Kurt. All Logan read was the word " Entschuldige"  before his phone blew up with text messages from everyone on the team. 

"Babe," he called back into the house. "Are emojis the same in this timeline?" 

Wade drifted into the open doorway in just boxers and his off-brand Barbie hoodie that was printed off-center. 

"What the fuck are you talking about, happy feet?"

Logan held up his phone to give him a better look. 

"I just got a whole lot of text messages, but they're all just an eggplant, a knife, and a plane. I don't know what that means."

Wade's nostrils flared. 

"Oh, I have another little German man to kill."

[b3lz33bub]

[warning: Enstars brainrot is back after a whole year, I still ramble like a nerd, spoilers for Raison d'être event story]

Valkyrie - Le temps des fleurs

*:･ﾟ✧ Lyrics, video and story analysis :*✧･ﾟ

(even if it's so obviously gay)

I have resurrected my enstars obsession and I found myself fated to dissect Valkyrie's intriguing songs once again, as it seems their relationship has progressed much since last time I had checked on them. This is one going to be elaborate since the song is heavily tied to the event story Raison d'être and to the stage performance which is filled with plenty of symbolism.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚ Relevant links ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚

Lyrics translation by ForeverAsia

Raison d'être translation by Mika Enstars

Official MV

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ Title *:･ﾟ✧*:･

The title of the song, Le temps des fleurs, which translates to "The time of the flowers", could be a reference to the infamous french song from the late 60s with the same title. The original song sung by Dalida directly derives from a russian romance song and depicts the tale of a woman who misses her lover and commemorates the time when they were together, young and carefree.

This is important to note once we provide context from the event story.

*:･ﾟ✧* Raison d'être *:･ﾟ✧*

In the event Raison d'être, which translates to "reason for being", a common french expression, we discover Shu's grandfather wishes to hold a live funeral and turns its preparation into a competition between the other family members. He creates a rather elaborate scenario in order for Shu to uncover the truth about his youthful days in France. Shu's succesful deduction, with Mika's help, enables him to prepare an opera for the funeral.

But Valkyrie had decided to partially cover the truth from the rest of the family in the narration of the opera. Thus, the story birthed actually ends up as an allegory for the relationship Mika and Shu have. (That is why, I will refer to the characters in the story by whom they represent)

Shu, a foreign student in France, passed by a mansion covered in roses and sighted through the window Mademoiselle, whom he fell in love with. Each time he had seen her, he fell deeper and deeper, ending up entering the mansion, unable to contain his feelings.

To his dismay, the beautiful woman he had fallen in love with turned out to be just a life-sized doll.

But the story isn't simply just that. In the mansion was also, of course, a dollmaker, Mika, who had modelled Mademoiselle after his appearance in women's clothes. Deeply moved by Shu's devotion, who had been sending love letters and had been whispering his love in the night, Mika had fallen in love with him, only having been accustomed with the solitude of his own mansion up until then.

But since the discovery of Mademoiselle's true nature, Shu had fallen depressed. Mika decided to dress up in women's clothing and warmly recognise the man's feelings.

「 Je t'aime 」

"I love you"

Mika thought it would end up as a heartfelt, passing moment and their lives would fall back into monotony. But Shu's wishes had just become true — the woman he loved had loved him back.

Since then, he had visited the mansion time and time again. Everytime there was a knock at the door, Mika would hurringly put his women's clothes and makeup on.

This concludes the first act, a comedic tale about the tumultuous existance of a same-sex relationship in a time that wasn't very accepting of it. (As stated by Shu himself)

The second act is an epilogue of the events. Shu had gone back to Japan to fulfill the duties of his family, but promised himself he'd reunite with Mademoiselle. Years later, upon his return, the mansion of roses had decayed, the flowers withering. The only thing left was an inscription on the walls, written in red as if it were fresh blood:

「 Je t'aime 」

"I love you"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Instictually, you'd think that the roles of the story should be reversed. Since Mademoiselle is an extension of Shu, and Mika is a devout follower of Shu as an artist, wouldn't it make more sense for Shu to be the dollmaker and for Mika to be the foreign student?

That is clarified by the diverse use of the pronoun "I" in japanese throughout the retelling of the story by Shu and Mika. When talking about the foreign student, they use "boku", the pronoun version Shu usually uses. The dollmaker, instead, uses "ore", the pronoun version Mika uses. With that in mind and a little thought put into it, you'd see the pieces falling into place.

The first act depicts the relationship Mika and Shu had up until that point. Shu had fallen in love with Mika, the marionette, but the events of Valkyrie made him realise Mika being a mere marionette in his eyes was inhumane — it wasn't real love, but a devout admiration. Mika, though, had proven himself, slow and steady, to be a real human with free-will, wishes and ambitions, in front of the person he loved — an equal. Thus, Shu could truly love the person he only dreamed of loving previously because love can only really bloom between two equals.

The second act depicts Shu's fears about their future. At the beginning of the event story, he reveals he had already prepared a room for Mika to live in Paris so they will continue their lives together. When Mika told him about wanting to remain in Japan after graduation to maintain Valkyrie , Shu spirals out of control, betrayed and fearful. In his eyes, Mika refused maintaining, or even strenghtening, their relationship. In the opera, that is what Shu imagines would happen if they remain separated; one day, Shu would not find Mika waiting for him, having dissapeared from his life, their love withering.

Unlike the opera, we will discover the song, Le temps des fleurs, "ties the knot" of their thread of troubles and feelings.

*:･ﾟ✧* Lyrics & MV *:･ﾟ✧*

[Shu] - pink

[Mika] - green

[Shu and Mika] - blue

In the stage background is depicted the Eiffel Tower to represent where the story takes place, in Paris. This coincides with the city where Mika and Shu sort out their feeling about their future.

Mistakably compared to a marionette, those blue eyes seem vacant

As this foreign romance spun with a stranger begins to close

Wayfaring through an illusion, traversing on streets of stone

Wandering, endlessly, like melting wax dripping in diurnal rhythms

The two commemorate the circumstances of their early relationship, Shu mistaking Mika, a masterful artist, for a mere marionette, leading to a temporary love that couldn't truly exist this way, that melts with each passing day under the sun rays.

The night burns into the dawn, and the heart that yearns without reward

Has long since overlapped

Even if it’s the same as the breeze, that blows through in its flurry of gales

Even if Shu finds out the truth, that love for a doll can't be truly love, he still holds onto it despite all the misfortunes that have come his way, mainly the rough days of Valkyrie. His love for Mika was a "breeze", a gentle wind, in the midst the despair reminiscent of a "flurry of gales", a circular mass of strong winds that entrapped him.

In the MV, during this part, Shu and Mika hold hands and sway together as they sing. It is a crucial moment since (from my knowledge so correct me if I'm wrong) Mika and Shu haven't made such heartfelt gestures on stage before. It highlights how the songs have gradually become more concentrated on themselves, rather than Valkyrie talking to the audience like in the past.

O city of flowers, this love too can bloom, even on the wayside.

It shall remain as a single song

Sear that gorgeous splendor onto each other’s hearts

As this beloved shadowed silhouette[1]

Turns this into a phantasm tale

From the story of the opera written by the two, we can conclude that flowers represent love. Paris, the city of flowers in this case, is also the city of romance.

Even if their feelings seemed impossible of becoming reality because of the rather troubled beginning of their relationship, their strenght had led the two to believe it is possible to achieve, "even on the wayside". They would even accept it even if it were just a passing moment, "a single song", as long as it was real and satiatied their desires by "searing that gorgeous splendor on each other's hearts". When the moment of love would cease to exist, if it ever does, they believe it will be immortalized in their memory as a "phantasm tale", thus having no regret ever experiencing it.

During this moment, the MV background switches to the Temple of Love on the grounds of the Palace of Versailles. The choreography in front of this place dedicated to the women "loved" by the french royalty[2] is also very suggestive of the ignition of romantic feelings. Mika and Shu reach out their arms to each other's hearts as the camera focuses on their shared gazes during the moment. Not long after, the camera focuses on their hands as they join together in front of the Temple of Love, signifying their romantic union.

[1] The original translation on the fan wiki says "silhouettier", which is a word I couldn't find on any online dictionaries. I will assume they meant "silhouette", like other translations.

[2] The factuality of that statement could be debatable, but I am no expert in the matter, nor is it the focus of my point.

-------------------------------------------------------------

[The following segment isn't in the MV so it will be delimited with red.]

Even if we cling onto such ridiculous prayers

The feeling of hopelessness will never disappear, will it?

In that case, let’s leave the meaning of our encounter behind

As we change the regalia belonging to coincidence and fate

In this verse, they seem to be voicing each other's perception of their new relationship.

Shu is still on the edge about their future, as seen especially at the beginning of the event story. Despite both of them having shared such devotion for each other, he cannot help but feel hopeless that it would all end at any step.

Mika recognizes this and keeps looking forward, wanting Shu to adopt the same way of thinking. He has also been the first push that had led to the rehabilitation of Valkyrie, with the help of his faith in his mentor and the love he harbors for him. In this verse, it is also suggested that Shu isn't quite over their relationship during the ex-Valkyrie, thus the source of his hopelessness. It is also evident in the event story when he keeps mentioning Mika had become a human, probably fearful they would regress to their past dynamic.

Some things are unforgivable

Rather than grieving over those sins

Shall we dance the night away instead?

As I reach out my hand to you

And for you to look back at me

They seem to accept their irredeamable past that had led them to the present moment. If it meant reaching that point where they could share their love, "dance the night away", reach out their hands and look back at each other, it was worth it.

Is it possible to worry about the destination of an endless dream?

Even if it’s something that is not finite in nature

Let’s keep it forever, the shine that lasts only in this world

As we are sought and lured by each other

While having our souls turn into a phantasm tale

Unlike the love for a marionette that would melt with each passing day, this love, the love of an equal, is an "endless dream" and "not finite in nature". This current love that they share is more important that their "destination", meaning that they shouldn't worry about the future, which they did at the beginning of the event story, since their love would triumph even against time. This act of being "lured by each other" is compassionate enough to not just dissapear, get immortalized in their memory as in the first chorus, but instead the devotion for each other would be the one to immortalize them as lovers of a "phantasm tale".

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Before the bridge commences, the background of the MV becomes pure white, turning Mika and Shu into mere silhouettes. The atmosphere is heavy. When they try to reach out for each other, they miss each other's embrace, unable to look back at one another. This could represent the moments when they feel lost during their relationship, an example being the opening scene of the event story.

Even if it’s worn and arenaceous

If you lift its casing, its contents will overflow

So even if time is bound, the shades and chromes will still remain

Painting the future in a blinding iridescence

Each verse of the first three is split in half between the two, representing a separation, but proving that, despite the circustances, they share the same feelings about their relationship.

Even if their love is "worn and arenaceous", almost on the brink of dying, "if you lift its casing", its coffin's lid , it will prove to be as strong as ever, "overflowing". Even if their love will die out, its impact will leave an imprint on their lives.

In the final verse, their voices join and their gazes meet. The conclusion is that, no matter the outcome, their love would brighten their future with "a blinding iridescence". Stripping themselves of the worries about both past and future, by embracing the present moment of their love, they have freed themselves.

In the background, the Arch of Triumph is revealed and the stage is filled with blooming flowers, a symbol of their love as established earlier. Then, the second[1] chorus begins.

[1] It is the third chorus if we talk about the entire song. But since this chorus mirrors the first one, it would be more suggestive to call it the second one, like it is in the MV.

O city of flowers, the entire town itself is wrapped in your love

Even the days that passes on by has bloomed and scattered

Let this continue to reverberate forevermore inside each other’s hearts

As this beloved shadowed silhouette

Manifests for this very reason to make you dance

Alongside this song of love, this song of love

The choreography is the same as the one in front of the Temple of Love. If the first time it was about the reciprocity of their feelings that had no clear duration, this time it is the confidence that they are eternal. Mika and Shu are victorious in their love's battle against time and, once again, can reach out for their hearts, look back at each other and join hands.

The final statement is made as their love is finally triumphant over all the hardships Valkyrie had to endure. Their love is so radient, "the entire town itself is wrapped" in it. Even if these moments of love, which have bloomed, would "scatter" in the past, they believe their feelings would keep "reverberating forevermore inside each other's hearts". The song ends with the acknowledgement of its true nature, it being a "song of love".

The MV ends with Mika and Shu looking into each other's eyes, arms ready to reach one another, but far enough to not yet be touching each other — for it is only the first step in their true relationship. The camera pans to Shu's face who, usually, doesn't allow for his affectionate side to surface easily, lovingly looking at Mika.

On a final note, it is really important to mention the outfits. There could be many interpretations for the split appearance of them: funeral and marriage, shadow and light, masculinity and femininity. Either way it may be, the outfits themselves represent union. If in the past, for example in "Eternal Weaving", Mika and Shu were distinguished by a certain symbol, like shadow and light, through their love, they have attained balance. It is both a funeral and a celebration of love. The clothes are the recognition that the lovers are both composed of light and shadow and that they complete one another. They are a symbol about appearance and essence, where one half is seen by the world (Shu in a tuxedo, strong and independent; Mika in a dress, soft and innocent) and the other only by the lovers (Shu in a dress beause he is quite emotional and compassionate; Mika in a tuxedo because he is strong-willed and would do anything for their hapiness together).

In the silence that follows, we can only have faith their love would prevail over anything in their way of looking into each other's longing eyes.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Thank you for bearing with me! I am so crazed by their love story I had to go all out. I don't think straight romance has achieved this kind of depth yet, I am afraid. (Don't try to prove me wrong, I am right).