#move in the next year and find that sense of peace in a more permanent setting

[hazzasultimatekiwi]

.

[httpknjoon]

quiet moments | ksj

plot | just a peaceful moment in the backyard of the a-listers' household.

word count | 630

genres | fluff, domestic au

pairing | actor!jin x famous!reader (also, pregnant!reader)

note | just something short and fluffy for the a-listers while I'm working for angst in my other series...

main masterlist | the a-listers: confidential masterlist

Sitting on the green grass of your spacious backyard, Jin strummed on his favorite acoustic guitar, humming to some melody he thought of, as you watched him. Your hand landed on your growing belly when you felt something in it.

“I think they like it. Maybe you should play something for us.” you grinned, teasing him.

Your husband looks up from you with his disheveled hair covering almost half his eyes. He smiled before strumming again. He cleared his throat. You felt your heart flutter as you heard a familiar song.

“To lead a better life, I need my love to be here…” he began singing.

It was The Beatles’ Here There and Everywhere. The song was one of the most sentimental songs for you and your relationship. It was the song your mother loved to play on her record player in the small apartment unit that you called home when you were younger. It was also the song you and Jin first slowly danced to as a married couple. In short, the song occupies a big place in your heart.

“Here, making each day of the year, changing my life with a wave of her hand, nobody can deny that there's something there.”

Jin looks at you as he sings every word from the song, taking a mental picture of you at this very moment. You were smiling softly with your hand rubbing your belly. Sunshine lights on you and your hair. You were glowing and ravishing with your most natural self, wearing no makeup and your most comfortable clothes. It’s crazy how he finds you more breathtaking each day he sees you. 

He felt butterflies playing around his stomach just by glancing at you. Quiet moments like this always take him back to the first time he met you, which was totally in contrast to this scene. It was a crowded, loud night of awards, filled with shining stars and flashing lights of Hollywood. He rarely enjoys those types of events but he always felt blessed to meet you there.

“I want her everywhere and if she beside me I know I need never care, but to love her is to need her everywhere…”

You swayed along to the tune, still listening quietly to Jin. He never sings in public. He jokes that he will just do it every day with or for you. And it makes you feel lucky that you get to be private will all these things going on between you and Jin. Growing up in front of the cameras, you always wished for something like this. Something quiet and peaceful, something that can make you at ease.

“I will be there and everywhere. Here, there and everywhere.” Jin ended and you clapped and cheered.

“Yay!”

You acted like a fan in a concert, making him chuckle. You clapped like a seal before you flinched, your hand instinctively resting on your tummy. You spoke, “Oh, come here. Give me your hand.”

Jin carefully laid his instrument on the space beside him and moved next to you. You reached for his hand and placed it on your belly. Jin’s lips formed into a small ‘o’ as he immediately felt the small movements.

“That’s a lot of kicks in there!” he gushed. Then, he looks at you, “Does it hurt?”

You shake your head with a grin, “Nope. Just a little discomfort but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Hearing that, your husband scoots closer to your tummy. His lips were closer to it and you can sense his warm breathing on your skin. He whispered, “Don’t cause too much pain to your mama, loves.”

You giggled, shaking your head with the scene, while he placed a soft kiss on the top of your belly.

taglist rules

THE A-LISTERS: CONFIDENTIAL TAGLIST

@xiumo @joonsbvtch @firesighgirl

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie​ @jksjx​ @embrace-themagic​ @buttvi​ @starbtslove​ @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie

[acourtofthought]

I'm about to put my foot in my mouth because I just responded to an anon on how I don't see Gwyn playing a major role in an Elucien book because I think Elain's journey will distance herself from Nesta and anyone associated with Nesta (and Az). Just as Nesta needed to discover who she was outside of being Elain's protector, I think Elain needs to do the same and that includes Nesta's found family. I think they'll get along during holidays / dinners in the NC 100%, I just don't think they'll bond in any major way. With Gwyn as a Valkryie and her found a family in the NC, I don't see her traveling to Spring by herself or with Az in an Elucien book.

With that said...........I'm about to steal Mor from Feyre 😂

In SF we have Feyre saying that Mor was her drinking buddy however things are a bit different with Nyx......

Which wouldn't be worth a second thought unless you look at the following:

Rhys laid the groundwork in the novella. He's telling us that Mor is not completely happy remaining in the NC for major periods of time. We're also given her POV, showing that she has a bit of wanderlust:

In SF, Cassian tells us the darkness of the Hewn City lurks around her like Azriel's shadows, another possible nod to her leaving the NC on a more permanent basis.

At the end of SF, Mor had still not managed to get the peace treaty signed, a situation that had been going on for nearly a year.

That's where we left Mor at the end of SF.

It's possible a Gwynriel book could deal with Mor finally getting the treaty sign, she and Az are connected. Though I wonder if it would be better if Mor played a minimal role in a Gwynriel book. Not to mention I don't necessarily see Az or Gwyn being the ones to help convince those on the continent to sign the peace treaty.

I can easily see Elain and Lucien, along with Vassa and Jurian, being the ones to join her on the continent to work on obtaining an alliance through the treaty. Not only are both Elain and Lucien excellent at talking to others but along with Vassa and Jurian, they represent the voice of more than just the NC. They'd speak on behalf of the human lands, Autumn (especially if Eris traveled with them as well), Day Court, and the Spring Court.

Which again, might not seem like enough to convince some, however.....

Elain and Mor already have an interesting bond. When Az said that Elain was a Seer, it was Mor that Elain looked to. Mor also used her gift of truth on Lucien and found him worthy. It was Mor who subtly sat next to Elain after the ravens attack. Mor is protective of Elain, but not overly so. When Elain was glamoured to head to Graysens estate, it was Mor she shared a poignant moment with and Mor who she chose to sit next to:

And for some currently unknown reason, SJM also decided to tie Mor into Tamlins storyline whereas she could have left her minor part back in ACOMAF.

I don't necessarily see Mor settling wherever Elain does, or even remaining with her throughout the entirety of the book, she seems to need to roam. I'm not even convinced she'll end up in the NC with Emerie unless Emerie is willing to travel with her (though wouldn't it be interesting if the Golden Queen is alive and now a lion shifter - playing nicely into Mor being drawn to the "untamed wild things of the world").

However Mor leaving the NC on a more permanent basis makes sense to me. As travel companions / plotlines go, not only does it make sense that she and Elain would find common ground as Mor has always been about girl empowerment (something Elain needs) and they are both associated with light and sunshine but I think with Az most likely ending up with Gwynriel in one of the next books and Nesta and Feyre moving into a new phase of their relationship, it's a convenient time for Mor to make her exit, especially with the history that existed between she, Cassian and Az.

I could see Elain gathering friends all along her journey rather than having a smaller found family in the way Feyre and Nesta did. Vassa, Mor, some in Spring and Day, maybe even in Autumn once Lucien reconnects with the LoA. So to me, giving Mor page time in an Elucien book makes sense when you look at the outstanding plots and how Elucien could lend aid to the major one Mor is currently connected to. Not to mention Mor has a past with Eris that needs resolved, possibly before a Gwynriel book, so that when it's time for an Az pov, she's ready to tell him everything. And Eris sharing page time (but not a pov) with Lucien, Elain, and Mor gives SJM a chance to tie up a lot of loose ends including getting rid of Beron once and for all, especially when he also has been traveling to the continent to keep tabs on his father.

Edit / Also Adding: the more I think about it, the more this makes sense to me because now that Feyre has Nyx, she can't really be Mor's found family outside of Velaris. If Mor is meant to not keep getting pushed way into the background and her plans / plot involve her traveling outside of the NC, she needs someone to do that with her. She's got no found family / female friends that can easily leave.

[nico-esoterica]

It’s almost midnight and I feel like talking about LaLisa. Ms. Manobal—Didn’t I call for at least 2 years that she’d make a HUGE gargantuan career move at this time?

With the NN currently separating from (most) of her stellium, all but one, this indicates to me that her recent arrival at RCA records was probably finalized around the time of the solar eclipse on April 8th. This would be due to said eclipse occurring at 19° and formed a neat conjunction to her Mercury at 21°. 19 degrees falls within a Libra degree in Degree Theory, which can symbolize contracts and peaceful agreements (albeit rushed in Aries tbh), and Astrologer Kira Ryberg describes the second face of Aries as not only being highly dignified because of its amplified solar energy but creates a sense of royalty, honor, and the question of worthiness that follows with the 3 of Wands energy associated with this phase.

Before one embarks on their journey, they stare out into the horizon, waiting for the ship to arrive and are filled with a gnawing sense of anxiety amidst their excitement. Will fear or the courage for adventure take hold?

Lisa’s actions tell us that the latter is her decision. Especially since her Mercury, which is associated with writing, speaking, and the mind, was the catalyst. However, seeing as the last full moon and penumbral lunar eclipse occurred on her Sun and Venus, I can also see negotiations happening at that time, which would mean, imo, that the October eclipses on this axis were also relevant to this deal being made. But I alsoooo believe that since so much of her chart is being activated at this time (we haven’t even discussed PLUTO’S SEXTILES), there’s more down the pipeline coming that we don’t see. A lot of the kpop tarot readers have been mentioning that ONE particular member of Blackpink would outshine and out pace the others and my betting horse was always Lisa.

But with so much activating for her, esp with her Saturn Return in Aries on the horizon, I also feel like it should be mentioned that ‘pace’ should be a factor here. Aries, at its worst, even if it’s doing well, can run the risk of burning itself out often with disastrous results if they wait until the last moment. With the next nodal cycle occurring RIGHT on top of her Retrograde Virgo Mars next in Sep later this year and in March the following, we’re going to find out if she’s been learning that this power thrust of sudden momentum can only be sustained through Actual ™ periods of rest and downtime.

Meaning—not still working when you’re supposed to be sleeping and doing nothing. With a Scorpio Moon ruling said Mars and the stellium ruled later by that, she may not believe in the concept of rest or taking it easy. She’s so neurotic and frenetic that it just doesn’t make sense to her because that isn’t the way her body works. At rest, she’s often antsy, hard to pin down, and is most likely doing something ‘productive’ to channel that extra steam into. I can also see her being rather lazy and sleep prone during her down periods in response to it. ‘Lazy’ isn’t a bad word either.

However, this can also mean a more strategic shift in direction where she becomes more mindful of where (and who) she invests her energy into. She’d see herself as The Star ™ instead of a playing piece and would value her self worth and act accordingly. She’d also make more informed choices. With Pluto in Aqua sextiling her points after its official permanent ingress after December, this would amplify the inclination for her to want to be more reserved and discerning in how she conducts business and navigates her stardom. Imo, the South Node conjoining her Retrograde Virgo Mars feels like a growth period after a break out, if that makes sense. Breaking free into the wild and then re-learning yourself as someone who’s liberated opposed to imprisoned. It shifts you from a scarcity mindset of needing to sign everything, do everything, and reaching for the top for the sake of it to being more relaxed and self-assured that you’re doing everything right and don’t need to prove yourself.

It circles back to that creeping 3 of Wands worry of ‘worthiness.’ To project further, what comes next in the arcana series are the 5, 6, and 7 of Wands in Leo, the domicile of the Sun, who’ll occupy the South Node in the eclipse following the one to come. Since the Leo decans surround topics of earning your place, celebrating it, and defending it, Lisa’s next phase will predict how she’ll handle this one since the Sun exalts in Aries.

I think she’ll do exponentially well. However, I see an issue that I’ll bring up in my next piece about her.

[drdemonprince]

could you tell us about your experience with mushrooms? I've tried it many times, and I feel like it hasn't changed anything for me (though i had no expectations), but maybe i was "doing it wrong"

I posted about it a couple weeks back, so you can scroll thru for that, but it didn't do much for me. I felt high like I was on weed, I danced in a warehouse for a while, which was as pleasant as it always is substances or no, I went outside and the grass and leaves were shimmering, my friend drove me in their car and we listened to Bjork and it was very pretty and moving to watch the sunlight glisten on the skyscrapers and the lake, I felt a sense of peace and certainty in living here being an immense gift that I should cement by establishing more permanent roots here, housing wise, and then we went to the beach to watch a drag show and i drank a bubble tea and felt relaxed and good. later in the evening, mostly sober watching children's dog movies of the 90s like All Dogs Go to Heaven, I got kind of emotional. but nothing beyond my normal range of possible feeling. i was depressed the next day, sad like a forlorn child in a manageable way. i was irritable and pissy the next few days, desperately craving my own space and quiet, which used to happen a few years ago when i was in a worse living situation and place in my life. it felt like backsliding. i was annoyed that i felt that way. it stayed like that for a few days. now a couple weeks later im basically the same, but a little more resolute about some changes that i want to make. i feel like a serious adult man. if anything it just got me to where i was mentally heading a little bit faster.

sometimes the shrooms have something to teach you, my friend blair says, and sometimes they don't. while i was high in the car listening to bjork, i turned inward and asked the mushrooms, "hey guys, whats going on? what do i need to know, if anything?" and they said to me (im speaking metaphorically here) "you already know exactly what is going on in your life. you know what you're good at and what you want, and you know what has been persistently making you upset. youve made certain decisions about how to navigate the difficult things in your life, and you have an accurate gauge of what the costs of that are. not much else to say. you know what's going on." and i was like "bet." i didn't hallucinate, i had no big revelations, and i probably wouldnt do it again for a very long time because the come down sucked for me.

people overhype what substances can do for you, a lot of the time. it's just a tool. it can be fun. it can give you diarrhea. it can make you cry, and maybe that's good. it's not a solution to your problems it's just another problem but some problems are worth it in your own risk cost calculus etc.

and i find that many autistic people just aren't all that impacted by substances like allistics are. we're so reflexive at masking that our impulse may be to maintain composure and level headedness at all times. i was pretty sober after anesthesia too. i often wish that substances would give me some grand feeling of release, but once the drug hits my system all i want is to remain in control, as i always do. there's an infamous story about a guy who the CIA tested acid tabs on, who didn't hallucinate or act funny after like 30 consecutive doses. he just seemed normal. it turned out he was at baseline absolutely consumed with debilitating anxiety. so being super fucking high just gave him something to direct his hyperanalytical system's attention to. i hope someone reading this will remember this account and provide a link, im not being super precise. but. there's something about that experience that i relate to. ive never been out of control on any substance. i always seem pretty lucid, maybe a little sillier or more tired but even those things feel like a choice.

[officialbillhader]

There's something about Mac. Like that stupid movie from the '90s, except no one is chasing Mac, no one is lying to him, tricking him, finding him across the country and flying to him with blind hope. Not even Dennis, who isn't quite sure what he'd do if anyone else tried to get with Mac. But it doesn't matter, because no one but Dennis sees what he sees in Mac. There's something about Mac, but only for Dennis.

He remembers when they first met. When he overpaid for the blunt because he brought too much cash and didn't want to deal with the rest in his pocket, back when he was rich, when he didn't have an alimony payment and debt that wasn't his to begin with, a failing bar with his name listed in the paperwork. A failing bar with Mac, but he's off topic, because this is about Mac, and passing blunts around with him under the old football bleachers and talking late in the night about their fathers, inviting Charlie over every once in a while to watch him get high off glue, but Dennis's eyes were always on the pink of Mac's always dry lips.

He'd like to say it was hard to leave Mac for college, but it wasn't. It was a way for him to fulfill his long laid plans, and he had to make peace that he hadn't planned on seeing Mac ever again. But he did see him, because Mac would show up on weekends, crash in his frat room, smoke with the window wide open, chastise Dennis for smoking a cigarrete while he'd be chugging down a blunt. He's never made much sense like that, yet it's endearing. It's always been endearing. And stupid. So fucking stupid. College was the first time Mac watching Dennis fuck a chick, the only time he's gotten to see it in real life, but Dennis later found ways to conspicously watch Mac jerk off again at the same time he told him it's only what bros do.

There was one time they made out. New Year's Eve, both crossfaded, it just happened, and Dennis slipped out that he wishes they could always do this, and Mac looked at him dumbly and said nothing. Mac threw up the next morning, but Dennis never did. He invited Mac to watch him fuck three weekends after that.

There was no reason they needed to move in together except for haunting teenage dreams and before Dennis knew it Mac was cursing and saying he wouldn't be able to co-sign the lease because his credit score is fucked. Dennis's wasn't great, but it was better. Dennis made Mac sign a shitty handwritten contract that stated he would pay half the rent despite not being on the lease, and Mac signed it after some argument, but then Dennis never held him to it. He figured Mac made up for it in other ways, like sometimes making them burnt eggs for breakfast or restocking their beer supply or putting a blanket over Dennis when he passes out during movie night. It's something, at the very least.

And he never would have expected Mac to become gay, never would have expected him to admit it, but something shifted in him once Mac did. It was nothing, but it was the biggest experience of his life, and it wasn't even his expierence. There was just something about Mac. Something about their future. Something about a declaration of love and joy and fucking men instead of woman, which Mac quickly became no stranger too.

Leaving him for North Dakato was easy, until it wasn't. He soon realized that it wasn't college and Mac wasn't going to randomly show up every once in a while. It was real, adult, fatherly life. It was absolute hell. It was life about Mac without Mac.

He knows it hasn't been the same since. His abandonment left a permanent scar. Mac hasn't looked at him the same way since and the closest they got was during lockdown, was while royally fucking up the presidential election, but Dennis was oddly happy. He was singing with his best friend while they both had glimmers in their eye, and he never minded when Mac would steer their lyrics towards gay sex and Dennis would have to reel him back to more flowery things. It was all Mac's idea, everything they did during quarantine, but Dennis followed. He followed happily.

When he got Covid, he had fever dreams of Mac and the castle. Dreams he hasn't wanted to revisit since for good reason, dreams he hopes he forgets one day, if only so the unfettering ache in his chest will leave.

But there's always something about Mac. There's always something about Mac and their future. Dennis just isn't sure what.

[aurora-by-jacqui-natla]

8. THE EGYPTIAN COVEN

THE SUN ROSE THE NEXT DAY, AND ITS warmth and brightness were a stark contrast to the gloom that had greeted us upon our arrival. As we awaited the arrival of more vampires, I had the opportunity to acquaint myself with the members of the Denali Coven.

Tanya, the coven's leader, traced her lineage back to ancient Slovakian origins. She was Sasha's first adoptive daughter and her biological great-niece. Sasha, craving companionship, had chosen Tanya to join her, and over time, she had expanded her family with two more vampires: Kate and Irina. Their bond was as strong as any biological family's.

Kate, also known as Katrina, had once served as a protector to a noblewoman of a warlike Slavic tribe. Impressed by Kate's bravery and physical resemblance to Tanya, Sasha had turned her into a vampire after attacking the caravan she guarded. Kate swiftly became fiercely loyal to Sasha and Tanya, her defensive abilities manifesting within a decade.

Irina, the third addition to the coven, had been a beautiful peasant girl in a small farming community. Recognizing her resemblance to Tanya and Kate, Sasha had welcomed her into their family. The love between Sasha, Tanya, Kate, and Irina had been deep and unshakeable until Sasha's fatal mistake of creating an immortal child came to light. Although Tanya and her sisters were spared by the Volturi, the loss of their mother left them deeply scarred, leading them to become staunch enforcers of vampire laws.

Over the years, the Denali Coven had welcomed several newcomers, but none had intrigued them quite like Eleazar and Carmen, the most recent additions.

Eleazar, with his mysterious Spanish origins and centuries-old existence, remained a puzzle to all who met him. Details about his birth and the identity of his creator were shrouded in secrecy, enhancing his enigmatic aura. Known for his unique ability to perceive the special talents of others, Eleazar had earned a place among the Volturi guard, despite his reservations about their methods.

During his service, Eleazar had encountered Carmen, and their immediate connection had been undeniable. Balancing their love with Eleazar's duties had been challenging, and the violence inherent in his role eventually prompted them to seek a more peaceful lifestyle. With permission from Aro, they embarked on a nomadic journey, ultimately finding themselves drawn to the Denali coven and its "vegetarian" lifestyle.

For Eleazar and Carmen, joining the Denali coven marked a permanent commitment. They discovered a sense of community and acceptance they had never known before, grateful for the chance to live among vampires who shared their values. As the newest members of the coven, they had finally found a place they could call home.

My heart went out to them as I contemplated the turmoil they must be enduring with Irina. The betrayal of a coven mate falsely accusing them of a crime and reporting it to the Volturi was chilling to consider. The inner conflict they must be grappling with was beyond my comprehension. I wondered if their bond could ever be restored to its former strength.

As I ventured deeper into the thick forest, every sense attuned to the exhilaration of the hunt, Jacob and Renesmee accompanied me. Edward and Bella had disclosed Renesmee's delight in hunting alongside Jacob, yet I remained unsure if she comprehended his imprinting on her. Nonetheless, she appeared unperturbed by any complexities. Jacob, moved gracefully in his wolf form, Renesmee riding to him like a sovereign on her throne.

Suddenly, a magnificent elk came into view, and I swiftly leaped upon it with lightning speed, effortlessly bringing it down. Renesmee eagerly consumed the blood from the kill, her melodious voice chiming as she asked Jacob about the possibility of getting some chocolate. I couldn't help but yearn for the taste of food myself, a luxury that had been absent since my transformation into a vampire.

"What do you think it tastes like?" I inquired of Renesmee, genuinely curious about the flavour of chocolate.

"Um... chocolatey!" she exclaimed, her delight infectious as I chuckled at her response. Even Jacob, in his wolf form, appeared to grin at her enthusiasm.

Suddenly, Bella appeared, her long brown hair flowing behind her as she sprinted towards us. Renesmee swiftly dismounted from Jacob and rushed to her mother, enveloping her in a tight embrace. Watching their tender reunion, a pang of envy pierced me, imagining the warmth of my own mother's arms wrapped around me.

Bella proceeded to update us that another coven had arrived, though Jacob appeared cautious about their presence. She quickly reassured him that they posed no threat, explaining the longstanding peace treaty between the Quileutes and the Cullens. This revelation piqued my curiosity, prompting me to ponder how such a pact had been established. Bella assured us she would introduce the Egyptian coven to her daughter, sparking a surge of excitement within me at the thought of meeting them.

As I trailed behind Bella and Renesmee, the Cullen residence loomed ahead, a beacon of supernatural energy that drew me closer with each step. As I approached, my eyes widened in awe at the sight before me.

There, gathered outside the house, were the Denali Coven, my own family (minus Gabriel and Helena, who were likely off on a hunting excursion), and a group of unfamiliar vampires. The scene pulsated with a mixture of tension and curiosity, as though the air itself crackled with the meeting of so many powerful beings. I couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement coursing through me at the prospect of meeting new members of our kind, each one bearing their own unique aura and presence.

As I took my place beside Bella, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride at standing next to such a powerful couple. Their grace and confidence were palpable, casting a reassuring aura over the gathering. And, for once, Jacob was fully clothed, having returned to his human form, his demeanor reflecting a blend of wariness and respect in the face of the diverse assembly before us.

Four beings stood before us, their eyes fixed upon our every move. Two men and two women, each with a unique aura that set them apart from any mortal I had ever encountered.

The first man was a young, boyish-looking vampire with hair as dark as midnight and a pale, olive complexion that contrasted sharply with his oddly cheerful expression. His eyes, a deep shade of crimson red, seemed to sparkle with a mischievous glint as he stood at a height of five foot seven inches, roughly the same age as Ayla. His presence exuded a sense of youthful energy and an almost playful curiosity, which intrigued me as I studied his features.

Beside him stood a girl with a similar olive-toned skin and hair as heavy and straight as the darkness of night. Her eyes, too, were a striking shade of crimson red, and though she was a little shorter than the boyish vampire, she exuded an air of maturity that belied her youthful appearance. There was a quiet intensity about her, a depth in her gaze that hinted at experiences far beyond her years, making her presence both intriguing and slightly unsettling.

As I took in the sight of these two vampires, my eyes were drawn to the man standing behind them, towering over them like a protective father. His black hair and slight olive pallor to his pale skin gave him an air of mystery and danger, and his piercing red eyes seemed to bore into my very soul. He exuded a commanding presence, his stature and demeanor speaking of centuries of wisdom and power accumulated through ages of existence.

Beside him stood a woman of breathtaking beauty, her long, curly black hair cascading down her back like a waterfall of darkness. Her olive-toned skin was flawless, and though she was shorter than the three vampires before her, her presence commanded attention and respect. Her features held an ethereal quality, as if she were a living embodiment of elegance and grace, her eyes radiating both warmth and an underlying strength that hinted at her resilience in the face of countless trials.

Together, these four vampires formed a tableau of striking contrasts and intriguing dynamics, their presence sending ripples of anticipation and curiosity through the assembled company. Each one bore the mark of their unique existence in the immortal world, standing before us with an aura that was both mesmerizing and intimidating, beckoning us into their enigmatic realm.

"Is this the child?" The words echoed through the forest, bouncing off the trees and reverberating in my ears. I turned to face the boyish vampire, his eyes fixed on the small bundle in her mother's arms.

"Yes," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper, her gaze filled with a mixture of protectiveness and vulnerability. He and the girl approached us, their movements graceful and fluid, like dancers in a timeless ballet.

Bella gently placed Renesmee on the ground and watched as she sauntered towards them, her tiny feet barely making a sound on the forest floor. They looked down at her, their eyes filled with wonder and curiosity, as if they were beholding a phenomenon beyond their wildest imaginations.

The boy knelt down to her level, his eyes meeting hers with an intensity that spoke of both reverence and intrigue. "Hi, what's your name?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle, like a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves.

"Renesmee," she replied, her voice a delicate murmur that barely disturbed the stillness of the air around them. They shook hands, their fingers interlocking in a gesture of friendship that seemed to bridge the gap between their worlds effortlessly.

"I'm Benjamin," the boyish vampire introduced himself, his eyes never leaving Renesmee's face, captivated by her innocence and the depth of her gaze. "And this is Tia."

As they exchanged introductions, Renesmee placed her hand on Benjamin's cheek, her eyes closing momentarily as she allowed him to glimpse her memories - her birth, her origin, the love and protection she had known since her first breath. I watched in amazement as he gently took her hand in his own, his fingers closing around hers in a gesture that conveyed both understanding and acceptance.

Suddenly, dark brown earthly dust emerged from Renesmee's hand, swirling around in the air like a miniature tornado. Benjamin's right hand moved in a graceful arc, the dust following his every movement as if responding to an unspoken command. My mouth gaped open in wonder as I witnessed the elemental display, marveling at the harmony between Benjamin and the natural forces around him.

As Edward spoke of Benjamin's rare elemental influence, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement stir within me. The idea of possessing such power was exhilarating, igniting a spark of curiosity about the extent of Benjamin's abilities and the mysteries that surrounded him. Joseph's chuckle broke me out of my reverie, and I turned to him with a grin, sharing in the awe and fascination that permeated the gathering of supernatural beings in that enchanted forest clearing.

"I hope you're not feeling left out," he teased, prompting an eye roll from me.

"I'm not," I retorted, my voice tinged with amusement. "I mean, I can turn invisible and do this—"

With a flick of my wrist, a burst of vibrant purple energy shot forth and struck a nearby tree stump. To my surprise, flames erupted from the wood, leaving me momentarily bewildered. This was unprecedented. Before I could process it, Benjamin was already in action, manipulating water from a nearby lake to douse the fire. The flames extinguished, replaced by a lingering mist that hung in the air.

Turning back to the group, I found the vampires staring at me with a mix of astonishment and admiration. Renesmee's laughter rang out, filling me with a sense of pride in my newfound abilities.

"Since when can you do that?" Bella asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"It's a long story," I replied with a shrug, absently rubbing the Lunaris Mark on my wrist, feeling a slight burning tinge. "It started after the wedding, when I found out about Dina and Ayla being werewolves—"

"Children of the Moon," Edward interjected quietly.

"They're still around?" queried the tall, olive-skinned vampire, surprise coloring his voice.

"What do you mean, 'still here'?" I asked, intrigued.

"The last I heard, the Volturi had wiped them out," he explained.

"Well," I shrugged nonchalantly, "apparently not all of them."

Bringing Ayla into our circle had certainly been a fortuitous decision.

"And she's a vampire maxima too," Eleazar joined in, walking towards us with an air of excitement. "She nearly brought a building down from that blast," he exclaimed, his voice tinged with awe. "It's a rare thing to have."

Intrigued, Tia chimed in, her curiosity evident. "That is?"

"A single vampire with multiple gifts," Eleazar replied, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

As Tia approached Benjamin slowly, her interest peaked. "Who created you?"

With bitterness still lingering in my mouth, I answered him. "A vampire named Victoria," I spat out. "As part of a vengeful army. Then I found my place in this coven." Memories of my past still haunted me, but I knew I had found my true family here.

I gestured towards my family, and headed to the Egyptian coven turned to catch a glimpse of them. Suddenly, the olive-skinned male's expression shifted. Following his gaze, I saw their returning from their hunt.

Breaking the silence, Simon inquired, "How was the hunt?"

Helena beamed with pride. "We each bagged two deers," she announced.

As Gabriel's golden eyes locked onto the olive-skinned male, tension filled the air. Their gazes met, and the forest fell silent. The male's crimson eyes bore into Gabriel's golden orbs, his lips tightening.

"Dad, who is he?" I whispered.

"That's Amun," he replied quietly.

I watched as Gabriel nodded in greeting to Amun, then turned to acknowledge the stunning woman beside him. "Kebi," he said warmly and respectfully.

Kebi bowed her head in response, and Amun spoke up. "Gabriel," he acknowledged, his tone clipped and formal.

I couldn't help but wonder about their history. Were they old friends, or had they been enemies in the past? Whatever the case, it was clear they recognised each other, though with a hint of tension.

"I see Aro didn't need you anymore," Amun remarked with a slight smile.

"I left," Gabriel growled softly.

"Everyone knows leaving the Volturi isn't easy. They either discard or dispose of you," Amun retorted.

His words hung in the air like a thick fog, leaving me with more questions than answers. What had transpired between my father and the Volturi? Had he left because of their twisted ideology of taking human lives to sustain their own?

As I opened my mouth to ask, a deafening screech shattered the silence of the woods. It seemed as though even the trees were protesting against the secrets being kept from me. I turned to face the source of the noise.

[jawsthatbiteandclawsthatcatch]

LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU PUBLISH CARRIGAN STUFF. I WANT TO READ THE CARRIGAN STUFF.

OH GOD OK AUAUGHGHH

Actually. I think you asked me for a summary of her Deal several months ago. And, uh, I know it's taken forever, but here you go!

…This will get a bit complicated, but I'll start with the original incarnation.

Carrigan Grimm is, mechanically, a lv 14 pathfinder 2e forensic medicine investigator with the medic archetype + a smattering of rogue / thaumaturge. So, she's extremely good at healing, knowing things, investigating, sneaking, and finding weak points. Overall, she is "a prickly perfectionist with self-loathing issues up to her eyeballs. She's convinced that no one will like her, so she pushes them away to preempt the rejection. She loves the thrill of a medical challenge or the hunt for a monster, and has some distinct mad scientist tendencies, but they're more or less held in check by a deep sense of decency." (thanks, rp partner!)

Carrigan grew up in a city not-so-secretly ruled by aristocratic vampires, and was a normal human working in forensic science, specializing in autopsies. A body she was working on turned out to be not fully dead yet -- unbeknownst to her, he was in the process of becoming a vampire -- and his bite somehow turned her into a dhampir. After frantically trying to reverse it by self-amputating the fingers that were wounded in the attack, she had to face that she had become a dhampir permanently, and was closer than ever to the creatures that she loathed. She spent the next several years isolating herself, getting by as a back-alley doctor in the city's slums and drowning in self-hatred, until the day when an acquaintance asked her to look into the disappearance of a friend.

(begin campaign 1.)

Within a few months, she had honed her skills as a combat medic, killed a lot of bogeys, saved all the children of her city, and lost a close friend. She had also joined a secret order of vampire hunters called Lantern Hunters, who fight with magically summoned lantern-shaped flails that are specially suited to destroying vampires.

Carrigan didn't hate the work, and didn't hate the people she was working with, either. So, after the mission, she kept looking for new challenges and new mysteries to solve, new people to help -- anything to keep her moving.

(end campaign 1.)

Shortly after, the country was plunged into a civil war. She fought alongside the Lantern Hunters, against her homeland, at first, but got fed up with their reckless tactics and left to go monster hunting in the countryside with one of her companions for the next several years. It ended up being for the best, because the tide of the war eventually turned, and the Lantern Hunters themselves were hunted into near extinction.

(begin campaign 2.)

Fifteen years after her original mission, she was given a new one: find a dangerous artifact before it fell into the wrong hands. She spent months in enemy territory, found the artifact, had the artifact stolen by someone she thought of as a close friend, and ended up getting trapped in a city undergoing a diabolic invasion, where she and her companions spearheaded its liberation. For their deeds, they were given the opportunity to participate in the peace talks that ended the civil war, and offered roles on the Council that would replace the vampire aristocracy. Of the three, only Carrigan accepted, committing to spend two years in office.

(end campaign 2.)

At this point, she made the very difficult decision to leave the Lantern Hunters. Although they had given her purpose at a time in her life when she truly needed it, she knew that her new high-profile job could put the remaining members in significant danger, and, well… she no longer truly agreed with their ideology that all vampires deserved to be destroyed because they're vampires. Most of the vampires she'd met had been awful, wretched creatures that deserved to die, true -- but it was because of who they were as people. Vampirism had just given them the opportunity to become the monsters they had always wanted to be.

Close to the end of her council term, she was summoned by a mysterious figure for an unexpected mission -- investigate some small-town disappearances and deal with the malevolent force causing them. She was expecting familiar faces when she went to meet her companions, but there was an unexpected newcomer, sent by one of her fellow council members -- Victor, a young vampire who… shockingly, still seemed to have somewhat of a conscience, and a personality rather than a god complex.

She found him fascinating.

(In the meta, we decided to run a Halloween one-shot preview for the 3rd campaign featuring these characters, and invited another player to join us. They brought Victor, and what was planned to be a one-shot turned into a three-parter with a 12k word text rp thread.)

An explanation of Victor will come in another post.

After that mission, Carrigan and Victor were uncertain they would get to work together again, but they crossed paths and got to know each other enough that when the mysterious figure that had caused them to meet in the first place sent out a new summons for an important mission, he invited Victor directly, on the condition that Carrigan would share the blame for any potential problems arising from his involvement.

Meta story short, from there the game went on a ~ten-month hiatus where we switched campaigns to a prewritten adventure with different characters. Victor's player and I were desperate to keep RPing with these two dorks, but couldn't without making things unfair for the other players in the game.

So, we decided to switch to an alternate universe.

Victor started as the player character in my rp partner's playthrough of Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, which they had a lot of fic for. I converted Carrigan (Alexandria) Grimm into a character that would fit in that world.

Alex Carrigan is a forensic pathologist from London who had, a couple months prior to the start of the rp, been attacked by what she was pretty sure was a vampire -- but all the evidence of the attack had disappeared, leaving her to appear completely delusional as she desperately tried to convey that he was still out there and still a danger to people. She lost two fingers and spent a month being involuntarily hospitalized for her "delusions," eventually starting to wonder if the attack may not have happened as she remembered it. Possibly worst of all, throughout the experience, she received no support from any of her former colleagues or the people she thought were her friends. So, the moment she was free, she bought a plane ticket for Los Angeles, with the intent of not looking back for as long as she could manage.

A month later, walking to the bar, she found a broken, bleeding body lying in an alleyway, and begrudgingly decided to take him home and patch him up as best she could, rather than potentially bankrupting him by calling an ambulance. Within a few minutes, though, his heart stopped -- but he didn't lose consciousness or seem at all concerned when she brought it up.

And that was how she met Victor and begrudgingly joined the Masquerade.

In the months since, they've gotten to know each other, fought fleshwarp monsters in the sewers together, defeated a powerful fleshcrafting vampire, and become best friends.

Alex has gotten a (highly illegal) job at a shady clinic, unwillingly become a ghoul (a semi-thralled superhuman who drank a vampire's blood), adopted a cat, and lost her appendix.

It means everything to Victor that he finally has a friend, and he's terrified of losing her. He has also started working at a local theatre and is starting to get to know his new coworkers. Surely nothing weird or supernatural will happen with them.

[isekaimaiden]

I've always liked reading into things. Lately, I've been in a rut. Today, October 23, 2022, I will read into my profile in tumbler.

NICKNAME

I have just changed my nickname from minsushi to isekaimaiden. Minsushi was just something that sounded cute and tasty and so I made it my name a few years back. Now, my name is isekaimaiden, after the manhwa and manga genre I've liked the most.

Isekai - a Japanese genre of portal fantasy and science fiction. Why am I drawn to this? Perhaps it's because of my unsatisfied need for escaping reality and having certainty - knowing what will happen next. Security. Future security. Makes sense considering I like getting spoiled about movie/book endings etcetera. Is it because things in my life has always been uncertain? Has it always been uncertain? I feel like at some point, I knew where I was going - like I had a path to follow. Where has that path been? Since when have I strayed?

PROFILE

Has it always been a cube on a box? Is this photo a default? Was I able to choose from a multitude of choices and believed this four colored, resting cube describes me most?

According to umich.edu,

"The cube is a three-dimensional SQUARE; it is a symbol of stability and permanence, of geometric perfection. It represents the final stage of a cycle of immobility, it can be seen as the truth, because it looks the same from any perspective, it is commonly thought of as the counterpart of the sphere."

My interpretation of that is that I strive for such things - stability, permanence, perfection. This must be true considering I think of myself as a perfectionist. Some perfectionist I am, when I'm not even able to finish things. The me now is far from it. Additionally, my need for certainty somehow fits well here.

THEME

Purple shades, according to nixsensor.com,

"The color purple is often associated with royalty, nobility, luxury, power, and ambition. Purple also represents meanings of wealth, extravagance, creativity, wisdom, dignity, grandeur, devotion, peace, pride, mystery, independence, and magic."

Yeah, checks out the previous two. Not much on the first few descriptions but more on the mystery, pride, and magic. I find so much fascination among these things.

This part here is an open letter to my future self in hopes that I find this post again.

Things now aren't too good. You are affected too much by emotion yet it is also your source of hope. Right now, everything is falling apart. Well, not everything, but most things you care about.

Last year, you failed 5 subjects. Your main reason was that your trauma has resurfaced. This year, you are regretting not doing well.

At the start of October, your 5-year long-distance relationship showed signs of ending. Your partner refuses to tell you until you meet in person in December. Your heart aches each time the thought crosses your mind. You have cried for four days. I am assuming you will cry more towards December and even after that. Your partner seems to like going with the flow - like a cloud. You knew this, even from before. Now, things are unclear.

These two might seem like a small portion of everything else that's been happening in your life but as an emotional person, these has the most impact.

There are happy times too. You just started being a creator on a game app, here's to hoping you decide to push through. You also decide to make money online and start a self care routine. Not much luck but hey, we're still at the starting line.

Here goes the advice I'd like to give you. Keep going. Keep falling and standing back up. Never stop moving forward. Pause and rest, if need be, but DON'T ever stop. You'll be out of this hellhole soon. Please, even if everyone else gives up on you, don't give up on yourself.

I'll stop here for now. I'll be rooting for you.

With love,

2022 isekaimaiden

[drmarr]

Welcome to Africa…

“Good morning, beautiful… do you want tea or coffee?” Followed by the smell of fresh cut grass…

Oh, yeah… it’s summer… sweet!

Different sounds (new birds and horses…monkeys on the roof!)

Different smells (the African air (if you know, you know))…

This is the first morning I’ve woken up as a resident of Africa. 

Oh my god…we did it. We live in Africa!

Followed by this internal feeling that you can’t explain unless you’ve experienced it. An internal peace with mass excitement at the same time. The “This is what it feels like to be LIVING feeling.” I want to spend a life time collecting this feeling.

One of the questions I get asked the most, why Africa, and why Zimbabwe? (As opposed to any other African country.) 

We didn’t do it blindly.  Bermuda, I moved to never having been there before, and not knowing anyone…and where ever we move to next, will likely be the same!

Steve has been coming here for work for years, about 4 times a year for meetings. So we do know people here, we are familiar with the area, and we do feel very safe and welcome in the community. I had been an expat living in Bermuda for almost 10 years, Steve for over 20. We wanted to move our home base to be able to experience a different culture and explore more of the world. If we start in Africa, Zimbabwe seemed to make the most sense! 

We arrived yesterday (* “yesterday” from the time I wrote this*) and are staying at a friends farm until we get the keys to our new house tomorrow (so excited!!) 

We’ve been actively working on this move for about a year and a half. And while most people will think it sounds so exciting and like one big adventure (it is!), it also comes with underlying fears, anxiety, second guessing yourself - all while STILL being very confident and excited about the decisions you are making. 

It’s very weird feeling such conflicting emotions like that at the exact same time,  but I have relied on much of the life coaching tools I have learned from my training (ie: constantly checking in with my values to re-ground me!) - the exact same tools I use with/teach all my clients - How to keep inner peace and confidence with all the noise around you. The inner workings of your brain work the same way no matter where you are. If you tend to get stressed, you will keep getting stressed… if you tend to worry, you’ll keep finding things to worry about. 

How did we find our dream house? 

How did we pick the right school?

Aren’t you worried about stability? 

Did you move there permanently? 

How can you say you value family when you live so far away from yours? 

So if you want to join me on our move…

Welcome to Africa. 

[vintagemulti]

the cracks

pairings: marc spector x reader , steven grant x reader

desc: all good things must come to an end finally made sense, after all the devil works hard, but a certain someone works harder.

warnings: swearing, smoking, sex mentions, guns, talk of murder / reader is a killer, violence, injury caused by a gun, scars, self harm mentions if you squint, reader is a mercenary

a/n: forget cannon this fic is definitely not going with the moonknight plot☠️ also this is a bit of a filler chapter SORRY😭 layla and marc never dated but the origins of where they met stays pretty much the same

series masterlist

masterlist

the coffee you had bought yesterday morning was cold, not even being touched since you set it on the bedside table.

morning sunlight flooded into the room through the cracks in the curtains, waking you up. eyes flicking open, you saw marc’s sleeping form next to you, his eyes closed.

he looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, so beautiful. you brought a hand to his face, pushing one of his stray curls out of his eyes. everything about him looked ten years younger, the almost permanent crease in his brow disappearing, as well as the frown and the shit-faced grin that made an appearance every once in a while.

“you’re staring,” his voice cut through the silence, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“i am.” you stated, fingers still wrapped around his dark curls.

his eyes fluttered open, brown irises meeting yours. he didn’t say anything, just holding that eye contact with you for as long as you could take.

fuck, he knew just how to make you nervous.

you broke the eye contact first, electing to stare at his lips, instead. it made him laugh lightly, his hand coming to yours and pulling it from his hair.

marc’s knuckles were still littered in red, fading scars. there were a few that seemed awkwardly positioned enough that they would reopen every time he clenched his fist - which was at least five times a day, knowing marc.

“what time is it?” marc’s morning voice was the same as when he had been yelling for a particularly long time - raspy and hoarse, but fucking hot nonetheless.

you turned over, checking your phone. “half past nine.”

marc groaned, bringing his hand to your neck, fingers tracing the red-purple bruises that littered the surface of your skin. when you turned back around, he was smirking, eyes still fixed on you.

“we need to go into the markets today, i need to find layla. she can probably help us.”

notice that? we, us. maybe marc was committed to getting this marriage back on track, you thought.

humming in response, you moved closer to him, the fabric of the shirt of his you were wearing soft against your skin. you tucked yourself into him, body heat instantly rising with the contact.

“when?” you mumbled into his neck.

“soon,” he almost whispered back. “go for a shower, i’ll be there in a minute.”

whining at the thought of getting out of bed, but excited for the concept of joint showers, it took all of your energy to pull yourself away from him and out of the bed.

the tiled floor was cold on the sole of your feet, waking you up even more. the bathroom - the one steven had performed minor surgery in a few days ago - had more natural light than the bedroom, a huge window looking out to the pyramids of egypt.

you stripped down - not that it took much, just taking off marc’s shirt - and turned the shower on, making sure your hair was tied back before you stepped under the hot water.

every muscle in your body ached - a good ache, but an ache nonetheless. four days of steven’s gentleness didn’t prepare you well for marc, ever the rough one. not that you minded much.

the hot water soaked to your bones, and you could have stayed there for hours. the view, the comfort, the heat - paradise.

marc stepping into the shower behind you only made that better. you didn’t expect a quickie, both of you were too tired, and the mood wasn’t quite there.

he stepped under the water, curls dampening and sticking to his forehead. you wordlessly observed his body, noticing the love bites similar to your own, scattered over his neck, abdomen, all the way down.

“you’re staring again,” there was that shit-faced grin.

you rolled your eyes. “shut up, spector.”

“you shut up, spector.”

letting out a small giggle, you admitted defeat; “touché.”

it was his turn to observe you, the way your body curved and how he knew every single inch of you. from your ankle, where he had given you a drunken stick and poke tattoo on your honeymoon, all the way up to your hips, where his arms had snaked around your waist during your first dance.

your lips, your shoulders, your hands - marc had met every single part of you. not just in the outside - he knew the meaning behind almost every scar on your pretty body.

from the scratch your cat had given you when you were twelve, the short mark above your bellybutton where you had been shot a few years prior. from the little scar above your eyebrow where you had fallen of a chair, to the long scrapes on your wrists from your teenage years.

the only sad thing about you scars is that marc was ashamed to admit he was the cause of more than a few of them, although you could have said the same for his - you were most definitely to blame for at least a few of the nicks and cuts along his body, mainly his knuckles from the many mirrors he had smashed in anger, but it hurt you just as much to know that there was a mark on him - a permanent reminder of every argument.

“why do you need to see layla?” your voice broke the silence.

“she knows pretty much everyone in cairo,” he met your eyes. “i figured that’s a good place to start.”

you nodded. “i’ve not seen her in years, i wonder how she’s doing.”

“i saw her the other day, i think,” marc said. “it looked like her, but i might have been wrong.”

humming in response, you rubbed the hot water over your face.

layla used to be one of your closest friends - if not the closest. she had been the one to set you up with marc, in fact, who she had met through work. and thank god she did, right?

“how do you know she’ll be at the markets?”

“i’m more hoping, to be honest.” he sighed.

“well, if she knows we’re in egypt she’ll most likely be on the lookout.” you reached up to cup his cheek and pressed a short kiss to his lips.

not letting it linger, you pulled away and stepped out of the shower, leaving marc scowling to himself. it made you laugh, only what felt like a few minutes ago when he was sound asleep you’d never have guessed he could frown like that.

you grabbed one of the white, fluffy towels, wrapping it around yourself and walking out of the bathroom. just before you walked out of the door, you heard marc call back to you;

“you should wear that yellow dress,” he said over the running water. “it’s pretty.”

smiling, you walked to your travel bag and pulled out the yellow sundress. it was one of your favourites, actually. marc had always demanded that yellow was your colour.

along with red, orange, green, blue, purple, black, white and pink, that is.

-

the day seemed to get hotter by the hour, the egyptian sun bearing down on you with no respite - even in the shade it was still swelteringly hot. three years in london had most definitely not accustomed you to warm weather.

you had been at the markets for at least two hours now, the stalls just getting busier and busier. not a single sign of layla, though.

rummaging in your bag, past the handgun, spare clip of bullets and pocketknife, you pulled out your pack of cigarettes once again, offering marc one - to which he gave you a look that could kill, making you laugh.

pulling one out, you raked for a lighter, but to no avail. “shit,” you mumbled, looking around you for somewhere that would sell one.

“wait, let me get a light,” you mumbled to marc, walking over to the stall.

picking up the first zippo your eyes laid on, you handed the money over to the stall owner, not bothering for your change.

lighting the cigarette, you turned around, marc giving you a look like a teacher catching a student doing something they shouldn’t be.

“what?” you puffed the smoke into his face again, knowing how much it annoyed him.

“i’m sure those things take like, twenty minutes off your life every time you inhale.” he muttered.

“marc, honey,” you looked at him. “we are literally guns for hire. i’m sure that takes about fifty years of your life, one cigarette isn’t going to affect me that much.”

marc muttered something about chemicals under his breath, but you couldn’t quite hear him.

looking around the market, you eyes fell on a familiar head of curly hair.

“marc, that’s her, right?” you tugged on his shirt, pointing in the direction you saw her.

“fuck, yeah it is,” he started walking over to her. “layla!”

she turned, eyes widening when they landed in you two.

“oh my god, look who it is!” she beamed, but when her eyes caught the cigarette between your fingers she frowned. “still smoking, y/n? those things will kill you.”

“for fucks sake,” you muttered, ignoring marc’s chide of agreement. “both of you can shut up.”

layla smiled again, embracing you in a tight hug before doing the same with marc. “so, what brings you to cairo?”

“looking for someone, actually,” marc answered. “you might be able to help.”

“what happened to ‘hi, how are you’?” layla smirked. “i’m kidding. who?”

marc continued the conversation, telling her all about harrow and his plans fo free ammit, but something wasn’t right. you could feel it - something was hanging in the air, like a foul smell.

the feeling of eyes on you was painfully strong, so much so that you were sure everyone was watching you, just turning away when you were looking. but it wasn’t just that. your gut was screaming danger, every alarm bell ringing at the exact same time.

your hand instinctively went to your handbag, fingers brushing against the cool metal of the gun. you scanned the market once more, still seeing nothing abnormal.

nothing. it was like the world went silent. one second ticked by, two, three-

“marc, get out of the way!” you yelled, pushing him back.

the sound of a gunshot ripped through the air, making the tourists and merchants around you crouch to the ground. you had only pushed marc by centimetres, but if he hadn’t moved at all he would’ve been shot.

you pulled the gun out of your bag, taking off the safety instantly. “where did that come from?”

layla pointed behind her. “that way, i think.”

looking at marc, you checked he wasn’t injured. “you ok?”

he nodded. “you?”

“fine.”

another gunshot came, this time from just behind you, barely missing the side of your head. you spun on the spot, shooting as soon as you saw who was firing at you.

marc and layla were shooting too, but after another two gunshots came their way, each of you was occupied on a different target.

in the mercenary world, you were known for your good aim, so it didn’t surprise you that you had taken out the shooter in just two tries, even though they were at least twenty meters away.

“careful!” layla called, looking to the right of you, where another shooter had appeared.

almost all of the civilians had disappeared from the market, leaving just those who couldn’t move in fear of being in the firing line.

you turned to where the shooter appeared, getting the kill shot in one go. choosing to help layla, who had two people shooting at her, you aimed at the person on the left side, hitting their shoulder then thigh straight away.

marc seemed fine on his own, but more and more people kept arriving, all firing at you three. you were outnumbered, at least three to one.

“marc,” you yelled over the shots. “help us out here!”

it was as if he was waiting for someone to say it, because as soon as the last syllable fell from your mouth, marc’s body was covered by the all white suit, eyes gleaming golden. he pulled the moon-shaped blades off of his chest, launching them at two of the shooters at a time.

although you only used a few bullets per person, you knew you were running low. three or four left, then you’d be out.

using your last bullets to take out two of the guys, you yelled to marc;

“cover me, please!”

he came straight over, pulling the protective armour around you as you reloaded the gun. “you look so fuckin’ hot doing this, you know? i forgot how much it turned me on.” he said, and you could tell he was smirking behind the mask.

“you’re only saying that because i have a loaded gun in my hand.” you said sarcastically, clicking the safety off again as he moved from in front of you.

taking the gun in one hand - you were a better aim that way - you took a step forward, taking out three of the guys with one bullet each - which would have been good if more people didn’t keep appearing. you were getting closer and closer to them, which was only doing you favours. it was so much easier to aim at people when they’re close to you, after all.

none of them seemed to be particularly interested in aiming at you, either, most of them pointed at layla. you wondered what kind of trouble she was in now.

one of the guys, the one you were closest to, ran out of ammo at the exact moment you stepped in front of him. he looked at his gun, then back at you, and seemed to cut his losses, because he instantly dropped the gun and threw his hands up.

“please, no.” he said, shaking his head.

you clicked your tongue, moving your aim from his head to his foot, electing to shoot him there instead. there was only four guys left now, the rest of them with either bullets or blades inside of them.

part of your job was about taking risks. you were a gun for hire, so injury was always going to come with the job. clearly, there was nothing in the job description about having an ounce of common sense, because you were somehow surprised when one of the guys turned his aim on you.

before you could register where it came from, the pain in your thigh was a burned and seared, making your hand shake just slightly. it was like a thousand knives had been set on fire and launched into your skin. you didn’t scream - although you thought you might. looking down, you realised the bullet hadn’t even gone in, it had grazed the lower part of your thigh, just under the hem of your dress.

“ow!” you exclaimed, looking back at the man who shot you and taking aim on him again, not hesitating to put the bullet between his eyes.

by that time, the other guys were either injured or dead, marc and layla having dealt with them.

you looked down at your leg again, crimson blood spilling out of the wound and down onto your… white shoes. “fuck,” you whispered. sure, it hurt like a bitch, but you really liked those shoes.

“y/n!” marc called, rushing over to you. before he made it to you, his armour changed, fading to an all white, three piece suit. steven pulled the mask of, showing his features, laced with concern.

“oh my god, y/n!” he looked between you and the man behind you. “what- can you walk?”

“it’s fine, steven,” you mumbled, putting the gun back into your handbag. “can you give me your tie?”

“my tie?”

“yeah,” you looked down at your leg. “to stop the bleeding.”

“oh, shit, yeah,” he pulled it off. “here, let me.”

steven knelt down in front of you, taking your leg in his hands and wrapping the tie around the wound, pulling it as tightly as he could before tying it in a double knot.

his fingers lingered on the flesh of your thigh for a second after he was finished, and he looked up at you. the state felt like it lasted a million years, but he was on his feet and in front of you again before you could say “sexual tension”.

“are you sure you’re ok, darlin’?”

you nodded. “it’s another scar in the collection. you should’ve been a doctor, stevie. my arms almost completely healed already.”

“what can i say?” he gave you a boyish smile. “i’m good with my hands.”

“amen to that.” you replied, before he even realised what he said.

“oh for gods- i didn’t mean it like that!”

you laughed, walking over to layla, feeling yourself limp slightly with every step.

“i’ll not beat around the bush, lay,” you sighed. “what have you done?”

she huffed, tucking her own gun into the back of her jeans. “it’s a long story.”

“i have a hotel, you can tell us there.”

“yeah, i’m fairly fucking confused as well- oh my god y/n! are you ok?” marc’s voice came from beside you, and when you turned to look he was back in normal clothes.

“it’s just a graze,” you reassured him. “i’ll clean it when we get to the hotel.”

“is that… steven’s tie?” he raised an eyebrow.

“what do you want me to do, bleed to death? hurry up, spector, i don’t want to get shot at again.”

you were already walking back in the direction of your hotel, leaving both layla and marc slightly slack jawed.

“yeah,” layla mumbled. “it must be a spector thing.”

“why does everyone keep saying that about my last name!?”

-

it had taken layla a whole hour to explain her situation. sixty two minutes to be precise. from the second you had gotten into the hotel, she had told you of her fathers enemies, and how they were calling in his debt on her.

although in all fairness you had only been partially listening, having to sterilise and bandage yet another bullet wound. you had cleaned enough in your life, having scars all over your body from a hundred different bullets.

sure, it hurt like a bitch, but you knew that getting it cleaned as soon as you possible could was a priority - if you liked it or not. it didn’t sting too badly, you had to grate your teeth as you wrapped the white bandage around your thighs, the cloth almost instantly fading a crimson red around the wound.

“you alright, y/n?” layla called from the other side of the bathroom door.

“yeah, just a sec,” you mumbled back.

pulling the yellow dress over your head, you dumped it in the corner of the bathroom, red streaks lining the bottom of the material. you hoped it would wash out.

raking in your travel bag for a second, you pulled out the most appropriate clothes you could find - a tight black, long sleeve top and dark gray cargos. normally you would’ve packed something easier to fight in, but you had came here with the intentions of a holiday.

but a mercenary never got a vacation, as you had soon learned.

untying the white laces of your shoes, you pulled them off and sat them in the sink. the right shoe was almost red, with how much blood had seeped down your leg and into the material of your shoe.

you slipped on your black boots, tying them as securely as you could before walking out of the bathroom and out into the hotel room.

marc was sat on the bed, layla pacing in front of him. his head was in his hands, fingers laced through the dark curls.

he looked up at you as you walked in, eyes trailing over your body. “you alright?”

nodding, you ran your hand over his shoulder, feeling at the muscle until it relaxed under your touch.

“what’s happening?” you looked up at layla.

“i know where we have to go,” she said. “but i don’t think you’re going to like it.”

you raised an eyebrow. “why?”

“we need to pay your ex a visit.” marc mumbled underneath his breath.

only having one ex in cairo, your face fell slightly. it had been, what? ten years, since you had seen him last? not ending on the best of terms would be an understatement for the two of you.

anton mogart, here you came.

[owletwriter]

Welcome to Hawkins

CHAPTER 9

Summary: Stranger Things and The Upside Down, they're both fictional, right? But what if it wasn't? What if somehow, someone comes across a gate and ends up in not only the 80s...but in Hawkins?

Slow-burn Eddie x Reader / Eddie x OC, Robin x Friendship!Reader

Disclaimer: Don't own the rights to any characters except the ones I created for this story.

Hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8

------------------------------

It's been a week of me being an idiot and not only do I remind myself that, but Robin tells me at least once a day. However, I try to ignore it because I have more important things to worry about like finding a new place to stay since it's been long overdue, but my distraction is failing and my mental capacity has been filled with focusing on avoiding Eddie. I'm sure from an outside of point of view, like Robin's, it looks absolutely ridiculous for me to do. No matter how I try to justify it to her, she's not convinced by the reasoning and honestly I don't think I am either at this point. At the same time, I know that no matter how hard I make an effort, I can't fit into their lives in a permanent way. I sigh with that thought lingering in my head while I sluggishly get ready for school.

"Hey, you ready yet?" Robin asks me popping her head into her room.

I stand up more alert with a forced smile and reply, "Yeah! I'll be there in a minute." She watches me for a moment squinting, but doesn't say anything and goes downstairs. I give myself a onceover in the mirror and take a deep breath. "Just one more day and then I can relax for the weekend." I murmur to myself before heading down the stairs into the kitchen. On rare occasions, Mrs. Buckley is around in the morning to have breakfast with us. This was one of those days as I see her at the small round table reading the newspaper sipping a cup of coffee.

She takes notice of my entrance and greets me, "Ah Kate, good morning. There's some coffee still if you'd like to grab yourself a cup."

"Morning, Mrs. Buckley. Coffee sounds great, thanks." I tell her while making my way over to the fresh pot of the hot beverage. Robin already had some along with a plate of Eggo waffles that she made for the two of us. She takes hold of her plate and cup, then joins her mom at the table sitting next to her. I follow quickly after with my breakfast and take a seat across from Mrs. Buckley.

We eat in peace until Robin's mom speaks up with a hint of concern in her voice, "Kate, any word from your parents?"

Robin and I glance over at each other while I stutter out an answer, "Uh…w-well, they said that they're going to stay a few more days…t-to make sure my grandmother is completely recovered."

"Wow, it must have been a really bad case of pneumonia." Mrs. Buckley comments and when I nod back at her, she then says, "Well, I'm glad she's feeling better and of course you're free to stay however long it takes for your parents to travel back here."

"Thanks, Mrs. Buckley. I really appreciate it." I give her my genuine gratitude and with that said, she finishes her breakfast first, then leaves for work after giving us both a quick goodbye.

While putting our dishes in the sink, Robin suggests, "You know, we could maybe say uh…that…your parents want to stay with your grandma to take care of her and they'd like you to stay here to finish your senior year."

"It wouldn't make sense for them to both be away leaving me alone. Plus, your mom would probably want to talk to them on the phone at that point." I reply washing my coffee mug in the sink.

Leaning on the counter, Robin asks with a hint of sadness in her voice, "So, you're still looking for a place to move to?"

Sighing, I turn to her apologetically saying, "I think it's the best and quickest option right now." I'm then reminded of Mrs. Buckley's newspaper left on the table and walk over to snatch it to shove it in my backpack.

"Fine, but I'll be checking in on you a lot." She tells me pouting a little as she picks up her own bag and then with a new thought, she says with a smirk, "Or…maybe not so you'll miss how awesome I am and just have to come back."

I chuckle as we head out the door, "You have been a spectacular host at the Buckley Hotel." Steve's car is parked in front of Robin's house and we walk over to enter it making our way to the school. The mood is a bit quieter today with just the radio in the background. It's at this point my leg starts to bounce a little and my stomach starts to flutter. I can tell that the two have glanced back at me a few times, but I ignore it just looking out the window.

Robin decides to break the silence when she calls back to me from the front seat to ask in a slight sarcastic tone, "You're going to execute your brilliant strategy again today?"

Knowing exactly what she means, I sigh and just respond with a simple, "Yep."

"Still avoiding the fre…Munson?" Steve directs his question to me.

I sigh again as Robin answers his question for me, "Yep, dingus here-"

"Hey!" I interrupt her when I hear the nickname she called me.

She calls back replying, "Yes, you've reached the level of dingus because you've been acting like one." I huff out a breath rolling my eyes and just let her continue what she was saying before, "Anyway…dingus here has been going out of her way to make sure there's no opportunity for the two of them to talk. It was a bit entertaining for like the first few days, but now it's just been frustrating. I feel like I need to grab the two like dolls and mash them together!"

"It's not that big of a deal, Robin. We aren't friends or anything." I finally comment when she finishes her rant.

Steve hesitantly chimes in, "I mean, if it wasn't a big deal, why avoid him?"

"B-Because…" I reply quietly trailing off my words as I stare out the window. Sensing my mood, the two don't say anything more and change the subject to try to lighten the atmosphere a bit. We arrive at the school and Steve gives us a small wave while the two of us make our way to the entrance. Robin and I part ways as usual and I walk over slowly to my first class. This week, I've done the opposite of what I routinely do.

Instead of arriving early, I made sure that I enter right when the bell rings so the class can begin immediately. On two days, I even skipped the class and just went to the library to either work on some homework or just doing something to keep my mind busy. Surprisingly, on the days I went, the metalhead attended every class and as I walk up to the door, today's no different. My eyes land on him as he gazes out the window and my stride stops right before I'm at the door. I stare at his profile without meaning to and one word pops in my head. Wow. His trance breaks away from the outside casually scanning the classroom until our eyes suddenly meet. Without much thought after getting surprised, my reaction is to turn around deciding to skip today's lesson. As I calm my beating heart, I make my way quickly down the hall, turn right, then a left, and arrive at the school's library.

There's only about three students, which is normal for the beginning of the school day, and the librarian who doesn't really pay attention unless there's too much noise. Instead of sitting at a table, I go to my usual spot which is near the back of the library in the history section and sit on the floor in a corner. I take a moment to center myself and before starting to overthink, I take the newspaper from this morning out of my bag and open it to the housing section. Every two or three days, I check to see if any new places are for sale in my price range, which is hard since my budget is very low. My best bet is to either get an advance at work or ask to postpone the payment for the property, but both options seem to have an unlikely outcome. I circle about three options on the paper and pause my search putting it down on the floor. Sighing, I grab my knees and put my head down closing my eyes. I hear footsteps coming close to me and I assume it's one of the three students or librarian, but then I hear my newspaper being lifted which causes me to look up at the person.

"Shopping for a new home? Family Video must pay you pretty well." Eddie casually says while looking at the newspaper.

Taken aback by his sudden appearance, I stumble over my words asking, "W-What are you doing here?"

His attention is now away from the paper in his hand and gives me an unconvincing answer, "Me? I remembered that I had to get a book." His eyes now dart around the bookshelf I'm leaning against and then swiftly pulls out a random one exclaiming, "A-ha! Here it is." Now playing with the book in his hand, Eddie states, "I should ask you the same question." Then, with fake concern he says pointing at me with the object, "I think you're developing a habit with skipping class."

Still hugging my knees staring at them, I quietly reply, "I just didn't feel like going today."

"Right…I hear you." The metalhead comments as he gets himself comfortable to the left of me on the floor and then adds, "It's not at all about you avoiding me, right?" Shocked, I lift my head turning it to see a smirk plastered on his face and he explains, "I had a hunch…plus you're not really that subtle."

Embarrassed, I let my head fall again and mumble, "Sorry."

"It's okay. I should've assumed that might happen after last Friday." He simply states playing with his rings.

"What do you mean?" I ask him gaining my attention confused about what he just said.

Eddie leans his head against the bookcase looking up at the ceiling before saying, "You know, the whole thing that happened by your locker and then me inviting you over to our table at lunch." He chuckles and continues with a tight smile, but I can hear the bitterness in his voice, "I mean I get it. Most people don't want to be around the town freak."

"You're not a freak." I tell him seriously without any hesitancy whatsoever. I can tell he's a little surprised by my sudden steely nature, especially since I'm usually timid around him. He doesn't say anything waiting for me to say something more. With his full attention on me and now having to inform him with my reasoning, the confidence I had a second ago quickly fades away. What am I going to say? I ponder for moment gathering my thoughts. I start with saying, "I told you before…D&D and metal aren't weird to me." After taking a deep breath, feeling his eyes on me, I finally explain, "I-I wasn't avoiding you…I mean I was, but…m-more like keeping my distance, and you're not the only one."

"Why?" Eddie simply asks me.

I glance over and I can see he's still perplexed, but very focused on my words, so I continue, "Me being here…in Hawkins…it's only temporary. I…I don't know when I'm leaving, but eventually I know it'll happen. I-I just don't want to get close with anyone. I'm afraid of getting attached."

There's a moment of silence before Eddie speaks, "Isn't that usually the case?"

"What?" I respond not expecting that type of answer.

"Well yeah, I mean, high school doesn't last forever. Once I graduate, I'm out of here." He tells me smirking and then changes on a more serious note saying, "I get what you mean though, I was kind of like that when I first entered here." He then states with sarcasm, "It might surprise you, but I wasn't always immensely popular." Eddie's tone then goes back continuing, "I've always been the odd one out and I thought it was pointless to make an effort, but I realized, even though I can't wait to get out of here, I don't want to just wait for it to be over. I created the Hellfire Club so outsiders like me can hang out and actually enjoy some of the experience." Tilting his head towards me, he asks, "Even if it's temporary, don't you want to be able to look back at your memories here knowing it wasn't a waste?"

Thinking about what he said, I look down trailing off with my answer, "I guess…"

The newspaper I had was then suddenly in front of me and Eddie makes a hypothesis about it, "I'm assuming this is part of you trying to get some distance?"

Taking it back I shyly tell him, "Kind of, but not really. I've been staying at my friend's house, since my parents are in New York because of my grandmother…but…her mom doesn't know that they're planning to stay over there." As I lie to him, I'm surprised and feel bad at how easily the words spilled out of my mouth.

"What about your brother?" He asks me curious about my circumstance.

I simply reply, "He's away at college."

There's a moment of silence before Eddie states, "So it's just you here. Hence why you're looking for a place to move." I nod in response, but then he questions me, "Why not just tell your friend's mom? It seems like she'd be cool with it." Once again, I can't tell him the full reason that Mrs. Buckley would want to talk to them, but that actually won't be possible.

Instead I just give him part of the truth, "They've already done enough for me and I-I'd feel guilty staying for the entire senior year." Staring at the listings on the paper I sigh, "But I might have to since I can't find a place yet."

Snatching it away, Eddie quickly scans the houses for sale and scoffs, "Well, no shit. They only list the really good places on here that are usually out of most normal people's price range." Suddenly the metalhead stares at me while pondering something as I fidget from his gaze. However, his train of thought is broken when we both jump a little from the school bell ringing. He's the first to get up from the floor putting the random book he grabbed earlier back on the shelf, I follow swiftly after. Before I bend down to get my backpack, Eddie is a step ahead and lifts it off the ground handing it to me. I give a mumbled thanks and when I assume he'll turn around to leave saying goodbye, that doesn't happen. Rather, he hesitates for a moment playing with his rings before speaking up, "Look, I know you're on the fence about hanging out with anyone, but if you change your mind, you should stop by the Hellfire Club after school…if you're not busy." I'm about to reply, but he interrupts, "Think about it first."

"Okay." I give him a timid response.

He starts to back away replying, "Cool. So…I'll maybe see you later." I reply with a nod and then he surprises me with one of his infamous dramatic bows again saying, "M'lady." Even though this isn't the first time, I still can't help but chuckle at his playful nature and he himself grins before finally turning to leave. I'm left standing there still with a smile on my face before snapping out of it realizing I'll be late for my next class.

There's now a levity to my steps and overall mood while attending my classes. The whole week, I've been feeling anxious and just pretty much sluggish, but it amazingly shifted so quickly by a simple conversation with Eddie. I guess all the effort of trying to not interact with him put too much stress on me and him ripping the band-aid made it go away. I conclude the reasoning to myself while exiting the classroom of my last lesson before lunch. As I walk over to my locker, I find Robin already there waiting for me so we can go to the cafeteria.

"No extra band practice today?" I ask her as I arrive opening my locker.

Looking at me suspiciously she answers, "No, not today since our instructor has some sort of meeting."

"Oh, nice. So let's head over to the cafeteria then." I lightheartedly say as I finish with swapping books and begin strolling over to lunch. Robin follows after me and after retrieving today's meal, choices of sandwiches, we make our way over to sit at the usual table. During this week, I made sure to sit in a different seat that had my back to the metalhead, but no longer feeling the need to do that today, I sit back in my initial spot.

This inclines Robin to finally ask the question that has consumed her thoughts since meeting at my locker, "Are you going to tell me or do I have to actually ask?"

"What do you mean?" I reply casually taking a bite of my ham sandwich.

She leans towards me watching me incredulously exclaiming, "What do you mean what do I mean!? Not only today, but this whole week, you were so tense and jittery that I was even feeling the residual effects of it. Now suddenly you're so…relaxed!" Robin leans in closer and sniffs me before asking in a whisper, "Did you take something?"

"What!? No!" I shout a bit, but also laugh at the insinuation and simply answer, "I'm just tired of stressing over something I can't control."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" She interrogates me with an eyebrow raised determined to not let this go.

"Well, I skipped Pre-Calc and-" I start to tell her what happened, but Robin interrupts me.

"That's why! You just fully steered clear, so you didn't have to worry about you-know-who." She determines by my very brief explanation.

I shake my head and interject, "No, no. Robin that's not why-"

However, she continues talking, "Kate, I know it's hard, but you can't just skip class for most of senior year."

"Yes, I won't becau-" Once again, I try to get my words out.

"Good, because even though it kind of doesn't count, it would be good if you graduated." Robin concludes her little lecture and at this point I decide to just let her have the win. Plus, thinking about it more, she'd probably have a bigger outburst if I told her everything. The rest of the lunch went along its usual routine. This time it's filled with Robin telling a story of an incident that happened in her chemistry class. Apparently, one of the jocks wasn't paying attention to the rules so he ended up mixing the wrong solutions together, having said concoction spray in his face without eye protection, and running to the eye-washer station which not only got his face splashed with water, but the front of his pants. We're two tables away from the jocks' table, so Robin pointed to which guy it was and as soon as I spot the tale tell signs of the now semi-wet pants, I throw my head back in laughter causing a few students around us to look over at us oddly.

Even after lunch, I still have random fits of giggles when the image I saw pops in my head as the two of us make our way towards History. It finally dies down and I inhale a deep intake of air through my nose blowing out through my mouth to settle myself as I sit at my desk. I'm about to ask Robin something before class begins, but lose my chance when the teacher enters starting the lesson right away. It's boring as usual and about a quarter of the way through, I start doodling in the margins of my notebook. Without really paying attention, lost in a trance, I only realize once the bell rings that I ended up drawing a cute puppy, a D&D die, and a very specific guitar. Before Robin or any student sees them, I shut my notebook fast, shove it in my backpack, and get up to go over to the last lesson of the day.

During my last class, my mind wanders a bit, debating on whether I should go to the Hellfire Club. I have a shift today, but I was about to ask Robin to cover for me. At the same time, I technically didn't say yes, so I'm not obligated to go. Plus I mean…it's not like Eddie is anticipating for me to come, right? It was just a casual friendly invite that was optional. I pause my thoughts for a moment to check the clock behind the teacher's head and see I have about five minutes left. I feel the familiar butterflies starting to take flight within my stomach, but I try to relax fidgeting with my two rings on my right hand. I'm doing it again. I'm talking myself out of it. I sigh shaking my head trying to clear the doubts and continue my thoughts. Robin and Eddie are right, I should make the most of it while I'm here. I'm in a crazy once-in-a-lifetime scenario where I landed in a dimension where Hawkins and everyone here is real. Sarah would probably slap me if I didn't take advantage of this. There are still some concerns about all of this, but for now…I want to stop worrying about it. Finally the signal for the end of the school day arrives and I quickly walk over to my locker first before going to Robin's. As I head over, I see that she's finishing up and has her trumpet.

As soon as I reach her I ask, "Hey, can you cover my shift at work?"

"Sadly I can't today, since we couldn't practice at lunch, it was moved to after school. Yippee!" Robin does a fake cheer of enthusiasm, but I can hear the actual aggravation in her words.

 "O-Oh…I see. That's fine." I reply clearly with disappointment laced in my voice.

It doesn't go unnoticed by her and she questions, "Why? What's going on?"

Quietly, now feeling shy saying it aloud, "I was going to…well…check out…Hellfire Club." I flinch when Robin immediately slams her locker with a surprised look on her face and I then ramble an explanation that won't cause any large reaction from her, "I-I mean Dustin has told me about it a couple of times whenever we got the chance to talk and I finally thought it would be interesting to finally check it out." Glancing up at Robin, her arms are crossed with an eyebrow raised not believing a word. She then takes hold of my arm and drags me to the nearest empty classroom.

She lets go spinning around to face me and demands, "Okay, spill."

"Just to let you know, I was going to tell you later since I didn't know if you'd get too excited about it before." I start off with and then just straight up tell her, "I went to the library instead of Pre-Calc and…Eddie found me. He knew I was kind of avoiding him-"

"Oh you were totally avoiding him like he had an incurable disease." She chimes in with a remark.

I just roll my eyes and continue, "Anyway…we talked a little and before he left, he asked me, that if I want to…to stop by after school at Hellfire Club."

Instead of any type of outburst, Robin just suddenly grasps my shoulders and with a smirk calmly declares, "You're going."

I sigh responding, "I would, but this time I actually have to work and you have practice."

"A-ha, but you forget my fun-sized friend…we have Harrington." She reveals to me proudly.

"Uh, I think we used up that favor for my birthday." I remind her poking a hole in her solution.

She just shakes her head with the smirk still plastered on her face replying, "I've got plenty of favors to call in on that dingus since I've covered for him after the many different times he'd ask for a spontaneous date from some particular customers. So…" Robin turns me around gently pushing me out the classroom door and goes on, "I'll deal with my guy while you go over and spend time with your guy."

My face gets warm from her comment and I immediately correct her, "H-He's not my guy!"

Before I can say anything more and object to her plan, Robin is already jogging down the hall shouting back to me, "Have a good time! Curfew's at ten!"

Even though I initially was planning on visiting the club, with Robin going out of her way to make sure I can go, I'm starting to feel nervous about it again. However, it's already been executed and I don't want to waste a favor from Steve, so I make my way towards the school exit. If I remember correctly, it's supposed to be in the drama department. I ponder for a moment while scanning around the area once outside. Spotting the building, I make my way over to it and with each step, I try to ignore my heartrate increasing. Without letting myself think about it, I enter and now tread slowly over to the room. As soon as I find the right door, I stand in front of it letting my hand hover over the handle. Closing my eyes and taking a deep shaky breath, I grab the doorknob, turn it, and enter.

The room is how I remember it, but it feels different actually being in it. It's a bit hard to see, but I squint letting my eyes scan around the room. There are clothes, which I assume are costumes, on racks along the right and left walls, props piled in a semi-messy way towards the back, a large Hellfire Club logo is hung on the back wall and the long table is in the center of it all everything dimly lit with an orangey glow with the help of some candles surrounding the area. Slowly tiptoeing my way over, afraid to make a sound, I go towards the head of the table where there's an ornate looking chair that's larger than the others. Glancing at the table's surface, while gently running my fingers along it, I see there are papers scattered along it with a few dices and mini figurines. As I reach the end of it, my temptation to sit in the fancy seat gets the better of me and slowly descend in it. I smile to myself suddenly feeling slightly more confident and even playful which causes me to fully lean back sinking deeper into it.

"Having fun are we?" A recognizable voice remarks softly to the left of me close to my ear and I jolt straight up in the chair with a hand on my chest turning sharply to see a beaming Eddie. He then halfheartedly apologizes, "Sorry for spooking you. I couldn't help but jump at the opportunity that time." After getting my heartrate back to a normal level, I sigh slowly rising up out of the seat, but Eddie holds a hand out while saying, "Oh no, you don't have to get up!" I stop my movements and he declares in a playful tone, "As Dungeon Master, I give you permission to sit upon my throne."

Smiling, I relax in the chair once again and almost as if I'm talking more to myself, comment quietly, "It is pretty comfortable."

"Perks of being the DM." He responds admiring the chair patting the top of it with his hand while the other rests on his hip. As if he remembers something, he suddenly jogs towards the back of the room behind some props, which I assume was where he previously was before surprising me, and I hear him rummaging. I deduce that it's his backpack when he comes back with it and pulls out a black notebook plopping it on the table. The metalhead then starts setting up his spot haphazardly.

Feeling a little awkward just sitting doing nothing, I ask, "Um…do you need any help?"

Eddie pauses his movements glancing between me and the table thinking before replying, "Hm…actually, do you mind grabbing those papers over there?" He gestures to the scattered pages I saw earlier along the table and nod lifting myself from the chair. I start collecting the sheets one by one in my hand while he continues his setup and tells me seeming slightly embarrassed, "Thanks. You're here a bit earlier than when we usually start." He then adds, "Too bad though because I would've liked your first impression of when it was all put together."

"I-I still think it looks cool…especially the throne." I reassure him with a small smile and he returns it with his own.

Putting the final details in place on his side, he asserts, "Well if you think it's cool now, you'll definitely be blown away when the campaign starts." As he says this he smirks holding the black notebook from before proudly flipping through a few pages. I collect the last piece of paper placing the pile next to his setup and then the metalhead asks me, "Do you want to join? You said your brother dabbles in it, so I'm guessing you know how it works."

Not looking up at him, I shyly reply, "Um…kind of. I've never played myself. Do you mind if I just watch?"

"Yeah sure, no problem at all." Eddie quickly reassures me now darting his eyes around the room in search of something. Once he spots what he's looking for, he goes over to it bringing it back and it's revealed to be a chair. He places it on the right side of his seat on the corner of the table and comments, "It's not a throne, but I guarantee it's the best spot to view the action." The doors abruptly swing open and we both turn our heads to view the members enter the room. They slow their movements almost to a stop when their gazes catch on me. "Today we'll be having an audience. You guys remember Kate, right?" Eddie announces holding out his arms presenting me as if I were on display while I awkwardly wave at them. My eyes land on Mike and Dustin who are definitely surprised and confused I'm here.

The first one to speak up as they go to there spots setting up is Gareth, "Future girl, right?"

I mentally facepalm at the nickname that's been established by the two bozos which I quickly glare at them and then smile curtly saying, "Yeah, that's right." As if I don't already stick out like a sore thumb, Eddie then pulls out my chair for me smiling. A little embarrassed, I sit down hastily and view a few of the members mumble to each other.

Eddie takes his seat on the throne, opens up to a page on his black notebook, and then I see a shift in his demeaner as he speaks bringing a chill up my spine, "Shall we begin?"

In the beginning, even though I knew the basics, it was a bit hard to follow since the campaign started from a previous one they've done. However, I was able to get lost in the story as it went along and that was mainly because of Eddie. He's so enthusiastic, passionate and immersed in it that it made the campaign so entertaining to not only the guys playing, but to me who's just enjoying the ride. He drew everyone in when establishing settings and we laughed when he became so animated for different voices embodying the many characters the guys' own came across on their journey. It was mesmerizing to watch Eddie in his element and I'm really happy I got this opportunity to see it for myself. Papers was scattered, dices were flying, and the room filled with excitement.

After about two hours have passed, the campaign comes to an end, finishing with the members' characters badly injured, but winning the battle obtaining the long searched for item on their mission. Everyone starts to clean up and I also help in anyway that I could. When everything is accounted for, the club plus myself all exit the building to see it's now nighttime and they begin to split off heading home. Dustin and Mike are the last to go after waiting for Nancy to pick them up which then left just me and Eddie under the single blaring light in the front of the building.

Eddie is the first to break the silence hanging in the air saying, "So…I hope it lived up to the expectations I made for you earlier."

"It was great!" I exclaim a little more enthusiastically than I imagined I'd say and try to recover from it now embarrassed, "I-I mean it was enjoyable to see everyone have a lot of fun…a-and the story was really entertaining."

He chuckles at my flustered behavior and I lift my head to see him smirking replying with, "Well, I'm glad you had a good time." There's another moment of stillness until he speaks up again, "Um, do you have a way to get home? I could drive you if that's okay with you." I'm about to answer, but then there's car horn echoing into the night. We both survey the area until landing on a car I recognize. It's a slightly annoyed Steve in the vehicle watching the two of us and gesturing with his hand for me to go over there. "Looks like my question has been answered." Eddie comments giving a little salute over to Steve with a half-smile.

I bring his attention back to me when I express my gratitude, "Thanks for inviting me to watch your campaign."

He nods his head while responding with, "You can come back anytime, M'lady."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" I finally ask the question I've been curious about.

Smirking he teases, "I mean I could call you Future Girl." I shake my head side to side furiously and he laughs at my reaction, then actually gives me an answer, "Honestly, I don't know. After calling you that the first time…it kind of just…stuck with me." He then immediately adds, "If you don't like it, I could stop."

"No!" I reply a bit too loudly embarrassing myself once again which earns another chortle from the metalhead. Now in a quieter voice, I tell him, "I don't mind it." Another two honks from Steve's car breaks through the silent atmosphere. "I should go." I remark, but before I make my way over to him, I take a deep breath to summon my courage and turn back to ask Eddie something I should've done for a while now, "It's um…p-probably pointless to go over that test now…b-but I know there's a quiz next week and if you want to…I…we can uh…"

Eddie kindly saves me from malfunctioning and answers what I'm trying to ask, "It definitely won't be as fun as Dungeons and Dragons, but sure, I could use all the help I can. We could meet here around three tomorrow?"

"Th-That sounds good." I tell him grateful he understood my stumbling mess of a question. Steve honks his horn a third time and I look back over my shoulder feeling bad.

Eddie gets the message too finishing our conversation, "Great, I'll see you tomorrow then." With his hands behind his back taking a few step backwards, he does a short bow grinning while saying his last words to me, "Have a good night…M'lady." From the sudden warmth of my face despite the cool night air, I can definitely tell I'm a few shades redder.

"Good night." I reply back fast before finally turning around and jogging towards Steve. Once I enter his car, I immediately state, "Robin made you pick me up."

Starting the car while watching the metalhead drive off in his van, he comments, "Well, yeah, but I didn't expect to wait so long for your date to finish."

"It wasn't a date!" I exclaim flustered by his assumption.

Now on the road to Robin's, Steve lectures me, "Whatever it was, you should've thought about getting home afterwards. I mean I totally don't mind, but have a backup at least that doesn't involve Munson and his van."

While gazing out the window, I tell him, "There's nothing wrong with getting a ride from Eddie."

"You've only really known him for a week, two at most." Steve says as he makes a turn down a street and adds in a calmer tone, "I'm just looking out for you."

I just roll my eyes knowing that's technically not true, but I can't comment on that, so I tease him playfully whining, "Yes, dad."

He goes along with it now in a fake dad tone, "No more of that or you won't get ice cream tonight."

"Well, if it's not from Scoops Ahoy, I don't want it anyway." I pout, but then that stops when I catch myself with what I just said. My eyes dart over to Steve nervous to see if he notices it.

Thankfully, it goes over his head and he continues the gag, "Oh you're missing out because I make an awesome sundae." We arrive at Robin's house which is a relief to me after my little slipup that goes unnoticed.

"Raincheck on the sundae." I respond before thanking him for the ride and exiting his car. I watch Steve drive off and once he makes the turn, I smack my forehead for my dumb mistake. "It wasn't that bad. I could've said Robin told me about it." I sigh giving myself some reassurance.

Taking a moment to enjoy the night breeze, I think about today and how it started out with me so tense, to having a great time at Hellfire Club with the metalhead who was the reason I stressed out in the first place. I stroll up to the door of the Buckley's house, pause to mentally prepare myself for the bombardment of questions, and enter. 

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Sorry for the long wait! I was busy making some exciting things happen and as you can see this chapter is quite long lol. Thanks for waiting patiently!

Likes, Comments, & Reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also I have an Etsy Store with my artwork!

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Taglist!

@edenstarkk @fentyreligion @maicclg @bellegirl16 @sadbitchfangirl  @preciousbabypeter @secretsicanthideanymore  @bookworm0492 @girl-with-an-orange-cat @thatsamegirl @pinknerdpersona @nb26fort 

[mcnuggyy]

What was everyone doing before becoming a part of the Rainbow Factory?

Oc lore dump below!! It’s long… but there’s lots of doodles for you to enjoy so feel free to click that readmore for silly fun times ♡

(if you’ve read the rainbow factory doc feel free to skip this intro! If not I recommend reading, or if you just want a quick refresher of some things I mention later on then that’s cool too <3)

I feel like I should preface by saying that there are some things I’m still figuring out the names of although the concept and idea is already there and solid. For example money isn’t actually a thing, it’s more like a credit or point system that can be used to buy luxury items! Housing, food, and basic clothes and necessities will always be provided to members of unicorn society who don’t/can’t/prefer not to work! These credits are usually used for unnecessary things like drugs, drinking, entertainment, etc. However since most unicorns love those things many of them will work small odd jobs, do community service, or find other ways to make some credit to spend on fun stuff! So, concept is there! I just need to like… name it lol.

Also when I refer to the “usual” route for a unicorn it goes something like this: You appear into the world as a fully grown adult in this magical society, you get 5-10 years to kinda just learn the ropes, go to school if you want, have fun, make mistakes. After that most unicorns usually find themselves ready to decide where to go from there! Whether that’s to study magic, get a job, party all day every day for all eternity, serve the community etc. and this is of course by no means permanent or necessary but having some form a structure definitely helps when getting started! Usually around year 100 most unicorns have a pretty good sense of self and find a form they gravitate towards that feels like themselves! (sometimes things happen and it’s not unheard of to just leave everything behind and start fresh as someone completely different, so although big changes like that aren’t necessarily encouraged they’re definitely something a handful of unicorns have done and continue to do) Immortality is also like… a long time obviously so as centuries pass most either just end up chilling and making peace with the endless possibilities of their existence, try and find purpose, or do anything to try and forget the fact that they’ll live forever. But unicorns are hedonistic by nature so at the end of the day if they feel good then it’s fine (usually) <3

This also makes it fun for me as it adds an extra layer of queerness that I find interesting to explore, what it means to know yourself and how all these factors can affect how you view yourself vs how others view you, and which version of you is the “real” you. The expectations of others vs. who you actively choose to be every day. Does the ideal self have to fit these impossible standards, and if those standards were hypothetically achievable, then what? What comes next? Is it then somehow more fulfilling to be ‘imperfect’? And if we could live forever how long would it take before the person we started as was someone so so so far from where we end up? Or would our core selves truly remain unchanged despite everything? Anyways… lots to think about :o]

Enjoy!

So… What was everyone doing before becoming a part of the Rainbow Factory?

Hev

Was never adopted or taken in by anyone so they went the common route of entering the education system and learning all they could before deciding what to do with themselves. They instantly felt drawn to humans as many unicorns do in their first few years before eventually moving onto other things. But Hev’s curiosity only continued to grow, especially when they found out about Unicorn Hunters and how dangerous humans could be while still being told unicorns were the superior beings, they were determined to learn the truth about humanity. So they entered into the internship program with the goal of becoming a field operative, and with a great amount of magical potential they were clearly on the way of doing so successfully until the incident. After somehow surviving 100 years on earth The Boss decided to make a deal with Hev, keep the tragedy under wraps in exchange for a free apartment, a job with good pay, and pretty much any and all luxury expenses paid for. Hev only really cared to help humans and saw this as the perfect opportunity to hold what happened over the company´s head and get some real change going towards a better future for both humans and unicorns.

Trixie

Trixie was immediately adopted into the Princess household, a family started by one of the original Elders (said elder is no longer alive). They tend to adopt unicorns born with white-blonde hair as they are seen to be signs of great natural magical ability (not true). Under the pressures of his highly influential and successful family Trixie always felt trapped. He didn’t have as much magical ability as a lot of his siblings, had no real motivation, only really did things because he had to, and only cared to do things in the moment based on what felt good and his emotions. At the fear of being disowned by the unicorns he grew up with he decided to aim high, Field Operative, making sure to go somewhere prestigious like the Star or Rainbow factory just to ensure he would be seen as a success… despite his lackluster grades and performance he managed to get into the same internship program as Hev… though it still pisses him off that he only really got in because of the “Princess” in his name. He would continue to try and prove himself again and again, but always falling short of his families expectations even as the current number one F.O. in Unicopia.

Kay

Kay was adopted by a musician, so naturally it was no surprise when she found herself also gravitating towards music. Her “pops” only really took care of her for a few years before getting bored of fatherhood… Kay later realizing she was nothing more but a publicity stunt for him to keep his career interesting to the masses. However this would come to bite him in the ass as Kay’s band blew up with a ferocity no one could stop. Under the name Kayden Night their band Bricked In was a roaring success. She loved everything about it, the night life, her band mates, creating music she cared about, the fans, and of course the fame and money was prettyyy nice. But of course the band got so big that any little change to her physical appearance, music, or style became a big point of tension between her and her fan base. It became draining and her voice, her music, her body, her whole life, was no longer hers. So at the end of the biggest concert in her career, she thanked everyone for coming to her last show and was never seen again. She changed her name and form and entered the happy tech field shortly after. The only unicorns who knows about her past are Hev and Sprinkles.

Sprinkles

Sprinkles is what’s known as a “renaissance unicorn”, a unicorn that basically dedicates their lives to learning every skill and spell possible, every job, taking every class, every hobby, etc. in search of fulfillment. You name it, Sprinkles has done it. He met his husband while taking part of a research group focused on unicorn history and magic development in hopes of bringing back old and powerful spells now lost to time. He had reached a point of desperation, still feeling empty and alone. He became committed to finding someone who could sneak him to earth so he could leave once and for all and maybe even find the peace of death. Blue (his later to be husband) convinced him to try just one more thing, joining the Field Op’s, if he didn’t like it then he could easily just stay on earth. Sprinkles had been a Tech before and just assumed being an FO would be the same, but he decided to humor Blue anyways. Eventually he found a reason to stay, and as he fell in love with Blue he found himself falling in love with humanity as well. He settled down, got married, and has been at the Rainbow Factory ever since. (They’re hoping to adopt in the near future <3)

Butterscotch

Butterscotch was adopted by a small studio focused on getting new talent for their films. Her beauty and grace was something close to perfection and she quickly became a famous actor just a few years after her creation. She was the perfect idol, did as she was told, didn’t speak unless spoken to, and could shapeshift quickly and for long periods of times for any role she had to fill. Everything she did was for someone else’s sake, she knew nothing else but the life she was adopted into. It wasn’t until a century later that she finally found the strength to leave, she did this gracefully and without a word, as with everything else. She had no plans, no real motivations or dream, she just knew she had to start by making a choice for herself. So when she saw a flier for the internship recruitment program, she saw it as a sign and went for it. (She was in the same group as Hev and Trixie!) Of course all the fame and influence followed her but this time it was her own and nobody else’s so she was okay with it. This is why you will often hear her referred to as “The former Shining Star of Unicopia” “Unicopia’s Radiant Diamond, once actress, model, and idol” etc.

Cupcake

Cupcake was adopted by a small family, they had no parents but 3 very caring siblings! They encouraged her to go the classic route of 5-10 years of school and fun before deciding on anything major. However after just 3 years they dropped out and went to work with the rest of the family at their bakery. She loved making cute little pastries and treats and making other unicorns smile. As time passed her desire to make others happy only grew stronger. On her free time she would find herself obsessing over the time before Unicopia, when humans and unicorns lived together in harmony. In the illustrations they always looked so happy… the obsession turned to longing and the longing turned to desperation. Eventually she went back to school and worked towards becoming a Field Op! It didn’t quite work out as she was chosen for the Tech position instead but her desire to help never faltered. She hopes one day they can all go back to living on earth again, happy, loved, accepted, and free.

Mikey and Clay

These siblings have only ever had each other since the moment they were born. Mikey was always motivated and excitable, he wanted to try anything and everything, just existing felt so exciting and new to him and he wanted to do it all! Clay on the other hand was content to just follow Mikey wherever he wandered to. Ironically Mikey wasn’t very good at the things he tried… sure ey were charismatic and got along well with everyone but when it came to magic or anything too complicating he definitely struggled. On the other hand Clay sucked at the social stuff but magic and new skills came easily! Many times Mikey would try to encourage his sibling to pursue the things Clay was good at it, especially magic, but Clay refused to do anything without him. So when Mikey was set on trying for a Human Happiness Facility next, Clay was happy to follow along. Together they became the youngest team to ever reach the top 6 ranking.

Elly

Adopted by a bigger family and went into the education system, she always had a love for learning. She did some community work for a few dozen years while learning everything she could about humans. Elly thought they were so interesting and wonderful, she loved how they all looked so different and made such interesting things, she read their books, listened to their music, and watched their movies even if it had to be through illegal means. It got to the point where she would fantasize about meeting a human one day, and eventually decided to join the Rainbow Factory as a H.T! Like Cupcake and Hev, she is a believer in finding a path towards peace with the humans and eventually coming out of the shadows to live on Earth once more.

Dustin

Dustin hated school, he went for a few days, got bullied a lot and ditched. He ended up traveling through various districts before eventually finding his way to an “underground” fighting ring. I say underground but the government knows about these rings and doesn’t really care as long as it isn’t done in broad daylight and never spoken about openly. It also tends to be small groups of 10-25 unicorns and the average unicorn doesn’t even know they exist so it’s not really anyones biggest concern. There’s betting and competitions, both with magic and raw strength, testing the limits of their abilities and just how far their immortality really goes. A lot of those who end up in these groups become obsessed with death to the point where it becomes some sort of unachievable goal to either kill or be killed. However at the current happiness rate it’s impossible to ever cause any permanent damage to one another that isn’t just mental/emotional. Dustin’s obsession with death eventually lead him to become a F.O., hoping to one day achieve the impossible by becoming the first unicorn to ever kill one of their own. Nobody knows about this at all because 5 years into his job and he completely lost interest after watching one episode of Soul Eater with one of his kids… so anime, manga/comics, action movies, and shows like Wipeout, Ninja Warrior and Survivor are all he cares about now LMAO.

Craig

Craig has always been a bit unmotivated and nervous, but the first 3 years of his life spent in public dorms definitely didn’t help what would become a constant sense of anxiety. The dorms themselves are great at providing a unicorn with their basic needs but the roommates and groups Craig would end up with were somehow always the absolute worst. The lack of privacy, the constant teasing, the loud noises… he hated it so much he decided to go to school and speed-run his way into whatever career paid the most for the least amount of work just to have his own apartment, his own bed, his own clothes, etc. He is very much the complete opposite when it comes to what most unicorns enjoy (parties, drinking, loud music, drama, etc.) The peace and quiet alone will always be worth having to work as Mel’s tech in his opinion LMAO. Asides from that Craig has no real aspirations or goals, he just wants to spend his days chilling with his void (has the form of a little cat with wings and antennas) and reading whatever he can get his hands on :o] (he is currently trying to read every poem ever written jaja)

Mel

Mel got adopted by a small group of what can only be described as “human item smugglers”. There are only about 2 groups that exist like this and are completely invisible to district leaders and Unicopia society. Their sole focus is smuggling human food, clothes, movies, art, knickknacks, and oddities into Unicopia through illegal portals, handmade invisibility potions and/or human disguises, and any other means necessary. Sometimes it would even involve working with humans (while still keeping their whole unicorn existence a secret of course) to get the extra good stuff. Mel did this throughout the 1920’s to 40’s which is why her mannerisms and way of dress are heavily influenced by mobsters and pachucos. Eventually she got sick of taking orders from anyone and left the group that had taken her in. Knowing they wouldn’t let her off the hook so easily, she took a government job, changed her name and form, and has been working at the Rainbow Factory ever since. Nobody knows about this and she will probably never mention it to anyone ever.

In a lot of ways you could say Mel never had a childhood, and sadly most unicorns never really get one, most are fine without such “human” things, but I think Mel more than anyone really longs for something like that….

Thanks so much for reading ♡ immortal shapeshifters sure make for interesting situations that’s for sure jajaja! I’m not entirely sure how concrete some of these are and things might change as I figure out what kind of story I want to tell w these guys but I think digging into their pasts ( or what could be a potential past ) makes for really interesting character studies :o] <3

[helliontherapscallion]

Phantasmagoria (Adrenaline Junkie Part 16)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of injuries, death, depersonalization, grief

REMINDER: you are real. the topics discussed in this is fiction and not reality. you are loved and valid, hydrate and eat 3 meals a day <3

Word count: 2,645

You were in and out of it for the next few days. Whenever your eyes would crack open and you would even slightly move your arm, you would be in immense pain before you would pass out again. You could sometimes hear the voices of your family talking to you, but never Arthur. Good, he definitely shouldn’t see you like this. 

Whenever you heard Philza, he would be talking to you about all the journeys he’s been on in his hundreds of years of living. Oh yeah, you found out that he was an immortal being that can’t die. Your brain was too tired and clouded to contemplate it. 

Whenever you heard Technoblade, his monotone and deep voice always eased your worries. It gave you something to focus on; if anything, his voice was the one that cut through the fog the most. He would always recite Greek myths to you, often telling you that you reminded him of a few characters. 

Whenever you heard Wilbur, all you heard was him asking you questions such as ‘how was your day’ or ‘what do you think of someone-so’. He would talk to you as if you were conscious, often having one sided conversations with you. Sometimes he would bring his guitar and compose new songs, asking you if he should keep a lyric or if he should throw it away. 

Whenever you heard Tommy, it broke your weak heart. It was like your little brother was a completely different person; his usually loud and upbeat tone was reduced to a quiet and broken one. He was the one that wouldn’t talk much, instead he would sit with you and eventually after a day or two (you think) of silence he would play his jukebox. But whenever he did talk (which was rare) he would tell you how scared he was seeing you like that on the table. 

As time passed, you could feel yourself slipping deeper and deeper into your subconscious. It was like you were fading away, but you couldn’t fight against it. You wouldn’t fight against it; you could feel your pain fading and it was a great relief. You only wished you could hear your family’s voices before you completely left them, they were fading as well. Eventually, everything slipped into nothingness and you felt… euphoric. 

When you opened your eyes, everything was black. You were sure that you had your eyes open, so why was everything so dark? Was this the afterlife? You expected it to be more… heavenly. However, you weren’t complaining; your entire body felt light and you felt waves of peace waft over you. This was nice. You didn’t have much time to relax while you were living. 

After a while of staring into nothingness and just peacefully floating in one place, you became restless. Sure this was nice, but your hands itched to tinker with something. You’ve never done well with sitting in one place for too long, that’s always been your weakness. You tried to push your body off from anything so you could at least float around, but that proved useless when there was nothing to push off from. When you tried flapping your wings- well, wing- you only succeeded in spinning in circles. At least you thought you were spinning in circles, the inky abyss was unchanging and it was starting to mess with your perception. Your senses felt like they were deprived, but the worst thing about it was the overwhelming silence. 

So, you talked to yourself to fill the ringing silence. You were merely voicing your thoughts, repeating your lessons you’ve taught Arthur over the last few weeks. After a while, you were running out of things to talk to yourself about. So, you sighed and crossed your arms. They were very pale, you were actually dead this time, huh? You could only wait to see your brothers and Arthur when it was their time, hoping that they wouldn’t come to you too soon. It pained you to remember that you would probably never see Philza again, but who knows; the universe has a strange way of working. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, (y/n).” You screamed at the soft voice that cut through the overwhelming silence and whipped your head around. There stood a woman that looked to be in her early thirties with long black hair and tanned skin. You could not see the upper half of her face as it was covered by a crow mask, however her eyes glowed a bright white. She was smiling at you with melancholy and bittersweet happiness. The two giant white feathered wings sprouted from her back were glowing slightly. The powerful and intense aura that loomed around her was the complete antithesis of the gentle smile she was giving you. 

“Calm down,” she flew over to you and wove her hand in the air. You immediately felt a wave of calm ease over you. “That’s better. You’ve been through so much, my little fledgling.” Her little fledgling? That was something you’ve recently started to call Arthur. 

“Who are you?”

“Oh where are my manners? I’m Kristin, the Goddess of Death. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’m here for your life.” You hummed, “that makes sense.” She tilted her head slightly and somehow the eyeholes of the mask morphed into an eyebrow raise. Was that her actual face? “You’re not scared of death?” 

“No, I’ve already died twice- no, three times already. But this is- it’s different. Is that because I’ve lost my last life?”

“You’ll find out in due time. Ender, you’re everything Phil described you as and then some.”

You perked up slightly, “you know my Dad?” Her airy chuckle brought you even more at ease, “of course I do, he’s my husband.”

You gaped at her, “so does that- does that make you my mom?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with it, I wouldn’t want to push you into something you didn’t want.”

“I’ve always wanted a mom. D-don’t get me wrong, Dad’s done more than enough for me he’s an amazing parent-”

“I understand and I’d love to be the mother of someone so smart. You’re destined to do great things one day, my little fledgling.” You tilted your head slightly, “greater than being an inventor?”

She nodded, her black locks swaying with the movement, “greater than being an inventor. Our time together is coming to a close.” She flew over gracefully and pulled you into a hug. You reciprocated it. Her hug felt warm and welcoming. It was hard to believe that she was the Goddess of Death, you always thought Kristin would be ruthless and cruel. 

“You will face many trials and tribulations and you must persevere through them. This is indeed your reality, but you share it. Do not be afraid to ask for help. The world can be a lonely place, but remember that you are never truly alone.” 

She pulled away from you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, the beak of her mask poking you. Suddenly, the weightlessness feeling disappeared and you felt a tugging sensation from deep within your chest. Your body was sent flying through the abyss, the gripping sensation you felt in your inner chest felt very intimate somehow. After a bit of screaming, you were still flying through the void. You had no idea how long you were flying for, but eventually you just crossed your arms and went limp in the mysterious embrace. Aaaanny time now. 

Eventually you saw a pinprick of light far off into the distance and it was rapidly approaching you. You sighed out a drawn out “finally.” And watched as it came at you at mach speed. After you crashed into it, everything went white. 

You jolted up with wide eyes and looked around panting. You saw the walls of your childhood room? So you didn’t die? Then what the hell were you doing in the void? You were so sure that you died permanently. That you lost your last life. When you glanced out the window, everything was dark. When you sat up, you felt the familiar tugging sensation of the scar tissue around the base of your wing, except it was less intense and you had less mobility in your right shoulder. You glanced at the hearts on your wrist expecting to see three empty outlines. Instead, two ruby red hearts stared at you.

Impossible. Impossible. You were in your last life so even if you didn’t die, you should still only be in your last life. Your second life was taken from you in an explosion. It should not show up on your wrist. Furrowing your eyebrows, you ignored the sound of the door opening and footsteps rushing towards you. You ignored hands appearing in your vision and hovering unsure above your hand. 

You only looked up when the hand grabbed your wrist and blocked the two perplexing ruby red hearts. You saw Philza with a look of immense relief on his face. “How’re you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” You looked back at your covered wrist and took it out of Philza’s grasp, staring at the two red hearts again in confusion. “I-I should only have one life. Where’s Arthur? Ender, he’s probably so scared. Did you leave my prosthetic in the cave?” Your rapid fire questioning was stopped by a hand on your shoulder. 

“Slow down, you only just respawned.” You threw your hands up in frustration (well, you tried with your right arm, it only moved to about two thirds of your full range of movement before you felt a slight pain and a stretching sensation), “how the hell do I respawn when I was on my last life?” 

“You aren’t-”

“Yes I am! Fuck man, how do you forget that?! First time: Warden. Second time: explosion! I know I just died for the last time, so how am I still here?!” You glared up at him. It astonished you that he just forgot about the first two times you died. Who forgets their own kids’ deaths? It takes a real monster to forget things like that. 

“(Y/n), you’ve only died once and that was because the infection you got was too severe,” he put a gentle hand on your shoulder and pulled you into a hug. You pushed him away and seethed, “How do you not remember! Ender, did the last two and a half years just escape you? You’re fucking immortal, almost three years is nothing to you!” 

“Two and a half- (y/n). Two and a half years ago you were fourteen and you were barely just learning how to do tricks midair.”

“No, I’m twenty years old! How the fuck do you forget your own kid’s age?” 

“You turned seventeen six months ago, (y/n).” 

You ran a frustrated hand through your hair and laughed sardonically, “I’m not dealing with your bullshit right now. Where’s Arthur?” You stood up with shaky legs and swatted his hands away. “I don’t know an Arthur. Please lay back down, you’re-”

“First you forget my deaths, next my age, and now Arthur?! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Where is he?” You gritted the last sentence out through clenched teeth.

“Who-”

“Curly red hair, freckles, always smiling, about yay high,” you flailed your hand from side to side rapidly at your mid torso, “your grandson. That ring a bell?”

“No because I don’t have a grandson. Sit down, I think I know what’s happening.”

“No. Not until I see Arthur.” You brushed his shoulder as you walked by him and out of the room. You could hear him following behind you, but you ignored him. After you ripped Arthur’s door open, you paused in the doorway. 

The entire room was decorated with Wilbur’s belongings. Instead of random bags of redstone dust and small contraptions that Arthur was too proud of to throw away, piles of sheet music and the occasional book was strewn about. Instead of the poster of you Arthur had hung up on the wall (you had laughed at it at first, he still geeked out over you even though you were his parent), a picture of the family was there. Despite it being a sweet picture (it was one of the very few ones of the family where everybody was smiling at the artist and not moving around), it shook you to your core. “A-Arthur?” You whispered in a broken voice. What was going on, where was he? 

You faintly felt someone put a hand on your shoulder. You however stood frozen clutching the door handle in your hand until you walked over to the nightstand. It was completely barren except for the glasses case sitting near the lamp. This isn’t right, this isn’t right at all. Arthur’s things should be there, not Wilbur’s. 

“No, no, no, no this isn’t right.” You broke off into mumbling while staring at Arthur’s (or Wilbur’s?) nightstand desperately trying to find the feather hidden somewhere. Once again, you felt a hand on your upper arm. “Everything’s right, (y/n).” You said nothing as you stared at the glasses case on the nightstand. “C’mon, let’s go sit down.” You barely registered him leading you gently back to your room and handing you a glass of water. “(Y/n)?” 

“Why is his stuff just- just gone? Everything was there before I left.”

Philza was silent for a moment, his feathers ruffling and brushing against your arm. “...Sometimes when a person’s been through something traumatic and they’re about to die, they sort of… make up their own reality without knowing that they’re doing it. It’s the brain’s way of coping. 

“This reality could last anywhere from a few days to years for them with the events seeming real, but in actuality only a few minutes have passed and nothing that the person thinks happened actually happened. It’s just the person’s subconscious mind playing out scenarios that they think would happen or wished had happened.”

You felt like you were previously walking on a stable sheet of ice before you were plunged into the icy abyss of unknowing. You felt several emotions coursing through your veins ranging from anxiety and frustration to grief and disbelief. The cup of water in your hands became incredibly blurry before you were pulled into his chest. He wrapped his arms and wings around you tightly and held your face securely against his shoulder. He started rocking you back and forth as you felt the tears silently leave your eyes and your breathing shudder. You felt yourself start to sob when a barrage of thoughts came and the reality of the situation hit you.

None of your inventions actually existed.

L’manberg doesn’t exist. 

Your name was unknown.

The last two and a half years were pointless.

Arthur doesn’t exist. 

Your precious Artie, the little boy that idolized you, begged for you to teach him everything you knew, followed you around like a little duckling, held your feather against his chest as he slept, enthusiastically asked you if you could take him flying, your little fledgling, your pride and joy, your son, didn’t fucking exist. You were never going to see his smile again. You were never going to laugh with him as you took him into the clouds. You were never going to cook breakfast with him again. He was never going to give you magnets again. He was never going to ask you to teach him something or ask you to help him with his own inventions. He was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back. 

“I- I prom-mised him that I’d never leave him.” You sobbed into his shoulder, clutching onto his shirt. “I fucking promised him and I’m never gonna see him again.”

(A/N): ok so a little explanation, chapters 4-mid 15 didn’t actually happen. It was in the reader’s mind as after they passed out in chapter 3. There was foreshadowing (esp in chapter 4, I consider chapter 4 to be the chapter where the brain is getting used to the illusion it set up (hence the title “what is real”)). It explains why the reader couldn’t remember their own death. The line “You were probably still in the cave bleeding out as your delirious mind turned stone into the comforting walls of your home. You were probably imagining hearing your dad’s voice in a last chance to comfort yourself as you neared your impending doom” was pretty self explanatory. In the last chapter, the souls saying “wake up, we need to get you out of here” and “don’t leave me” were Philza’s voice cutting through (”The voices ranged from... familiar to unfamiliar”)

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[kurowrites]

That Boy.

So, as the start into the new year, have Lan Zhan getting hounded by his brother’s groupies and despairing over Wei Ying’s compulsive flirting. :)

---

“Hello, handsome,” the woman said, smiling at Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan looked at her, and tried to remember if they had met somewhere before. She was carefully styled, wearing a tight black dress and high heels, with long hair and equally long red nails. She looked somewhat out of place in this cosy coffee shop, more like she was on her way to a fancy event than looking for a cup of coffee. It was certainly someone he would remember, if they had indeed met before. She was, however, entirely unfamiliar to him.

And if that had not been enough of a hint yet, there was a certain gleam in her eye that immediately put him on edge. Her smile was friendly, but there was something about her that made her feel not unlike a predator, smiling at her prey before she opened her mouth and swallowed it.

Lan Zhan sighed internally. Another one of his brother’s fans, he assumed.

He was happy about his brother’s success, and he would always support Lan Huan, there was no doubt about that. But ever since Lan Huan had his big break as a pop musician two years ago, right after he left university, Lan Zhan had found himself constantly hounded by fans of Lan Huan. Some of them genuinely confused Lan Zhan with his brother and were thrilled to meet a pop star on the streets. Others confused him with Lan Huan, but also hit on him in the process, trying to shoot their shot with a celebrity. (Which would never happen, Lan Zhan thought uncharitably. His brother was better than that.)

The ones that were possibly the worst, however, were those that had done their homework, realised that Lan Zhan was not his famous brother, and still decided to go after him. Those were usually the ones that were the most difficult to get rid of, and they came in all shapes, sizes and genders.

Frankly, Lan Zhan was getting tired. He was getting tired of people hitting on him in general, but he was particularly tired of people hitting on him because he was the brother of a celebrity who also happened to look very similar to said celebrity.

He glanced at the woman who had accosted him while he was drinking his tea, and tried to figure out which category she belonged to. And, of course, how he could get rid of her quickly and efficiently.

He wanted to drink his tea in peace.  

She did not seem to be cowed by his critical glance, and gestured to the empty armchair across from him.

“Are you here on your own?” she asked. “Do you mi-”

Before she could finish her words, there was a mad scramble, and with rather more noise than necessary, a large cup of coffee was unceremoniously dumped onto the small table between the two armchairs, and one Wei Ying dove onto the empty armchair across from Lan Zhan, throwing his bag under the table as he did so.

“Sorry, m’lady,” Wei Ying said as he pushed his hair, messy from his athletic stunt, out of his face. He smiled at her broadly and in a way that showed that he very much was not sorry. “This place was reserved for me. I fear you have to look for another seat.”

The woman stared at him in disbelief. She opened her mouth, presumably to lodge a complaint, but Wei Ying could not be bothered. Ignoring her, he directed his gaze towards Lan Zhan.

“So Lan Zhan,” he said loudly. “I heard that you got engaged. Congratulations, I have to say. Took you long enough. Where you failing to find the perfect engagement ring or what?”

Without another word, the woman turned around and walked away in a huff.

Lan Zhan was not sorry to see her go. Still, he felt his face twist into a frown. Wei Ying’s words made no sense to him. What engagement was Wei Ying talking about?

“Wei Ying, I have not gotten engaged.”

Wei Ying laughed loudly, his face shining with mirth.

“Lan Zhan! Of course you didn’t get engaged! I just said that to make her leave! You should have seen your face when she descended on you, like a small, helpless rabbit! Of course I had to help!”

He sighed dramatically and reached out to take hold of his overly large coffee cup.

“I know Lan Zhan is handsome and irresistible, but the nerve of that woman. You were obviously not up for conversation! It’s your strictly scheduled tea break! Which is why I will drink my coffee in silence now, so you can meditate over your tea or whatever it is you do.”

He took a big gulp of his coffee.

Lan Zhan considered Wei Ying for a moment. He was obviously grateful for Wei Ying’s unexpected help, but it came with two problems: First, Wei Ying never did anything silently. Second, Wei Ying himself flirted with Lan Zhan incessantly, calling him handsome and whatnot, so in all fairness, he was hardly better than any of the overenthusiastic Lan Huan fans that approached him.

There might also have been a third problem, though Lan Zhan did not admit to that. He definitely did not notice Wei Ying’s handsome face, brightened by his irreverent, sparkling smile. Neither did he notice his long, deft fingers, carelessly tapping out rhythms on the coffee cup, nor the way he was slouched on the armchair in a way that should have looked sloppy, but instead ended up looking artfully draped.

After all, it was only Wei Ying, irredeemable and obnoxious flirt, and there was nothing for Lan Zhan to notice.

Still.

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, because he was grateful. “I think she mistook me for my brother.”

Wei Ying raised his eyebrows, an incredulous expression on his face.

Lan Zhan could divine the meaning of that look. After all, Lan Huan was the friendly, approachable one out of the two of them, and he was also a pop star. Certain physical similarities aside, no one with eyes in their head should ever mistake Lan Zhan for his smiling, gentle older brother.

Wei Ying was evidently of the same opinion.

“Haha, Lan Zhan, don’t worry about it,” he eventually replied between two sips of coffee. “I could hardly have looked on while the impeccable, incomparable Lan er-gege was in distress.”

There we go again, Lan Zhan thought to himself, trying to suppress an eyeroll. Incorrigible.

---

It was not often that Lan Zhan went out with his brother, considering that his brother was a very busy person, so of course they had to run into Wei Ying when they did the next time.

Oh no, Lan Zhan thought to himself when he saw Wei Ying’s eyes flit back and forth between Lan Huan and himself.

This, he would have wanted to avoid. Permanently.

It had been his biggest fear, ever since he had met Wei Ying. Wei Ying was bad enough with Lan Zhan, when he could hope for nothing and had no encouragement. How Wei Ying would act once he had the encouragement of a friendly disposition in addition to Lan Zhan’s oh-so-handsome face, he had never wanted to know.

And now they stood in front of Wei Ying, giving him a truly perfect opportunity to compare and judge.

What the judgement would be, Lan Zhan already knew.

(It would never be him.)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying chirped once he was apparently finished with his thorough analysis. “Is that your brother?”

“Lan Huan.” His brother stepped forward and introduced himself, always a little bit better at being polite than Lan Zhan. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Wei Ying smiled at him, and Lan Zhan quietly begged Wei Ying not to say–

“Nice to meet you, Lan Huan,” Wei Ying said. “I’m Wei Ying, one of Lan Zhan’s university friends. Did you know, Lan Zhan staunchly refuses to talk about you? But actually, I think he’s really proud of you, and he’s just careful to not spread private information.”

Lan Zhan was so surprised about these words, he could only stand there and stare.

That… was not what he had expected from Wei Ying. After all, when it came to Lan Zhan, Wei Ying couldn’t open his mouth without saying something flirty or suggestive.

And know he looked Lan Huan in the face and managed with a simple ‘nice to meet you’?

“Thank you,” Lan Huan replied with a small, but genuine smile, completely unaware of Lan Zhan’s current internal crisis. “I’m proud of him too.”

Suddenly, Wei Ying perked up.

“I know, right?” he asked excitedly. “He’s such a good, serious student. And so smart! And also ha-” he interrupted himself and coughed once. “Well. You are handsome, too. And he’s your brother. So I guess you know.”

He twirled his hair around his finger and pulled once.

“Well, I guess you have things you need to get done,” he chirped. “And I do too. Have a good time! And see you at university, Lan Zhan! Don’t be a stranger!”

With that, he hopped off, quick as a fox.

Lan Zhan just stared after him, not understanding what had just happened.

You are handsome, too.

When had Wei Ying, of all people, learned moderation?

When he turned back to Lan Huan, he found his brother smiling at him widely, and it put Lan Zhan on the defence immediately.

“What?” he asked, rather more harshly than he had intended to.

“Oh, A-Zhan,” Lan Huan said, his smile becoming smaller, but also more intimate. “I’m very happy for you.”

Lan Zhan frowned. Why would Lan Huan be happy for him? Because one of his university colleagues had finally managed not to embarrass themselves in front of Lan Huan? Because Wei Ying had managed not to completely expose himself? Because he had somehow survived this encounter without getting his heart smashed to tiny pieces?

Of course, there was no good way to ask these questions.

“I think you should move fast, dear brother,” Lan Huan observed, continuing the conversation without needing any input from Lan Zhan. “He’s very handsome, this Wei Ying, is he not? And smart. You might have some stiff competition if you’re not careful, so you need to be quick.”

Lan Zhan stared at Lan Huan, uncomprehending.

What, exactly, was his brother talking about?

“A-Zhan,” Lan Huan sighed when he saw that he had lost Lan Zhan. He reached out and squeezed Lan Zhan’s shoulder once, a quick, familiar comfort. “That boy only has eyes for you, and absolutely nothing else. I don’t think I have ever seen someone more in love.”

His brother let him go and walked away, leaving Lan Zhan standing there, as if he had not just dropped a bombshell of truly earth-shattering properties on him.

That boy only has eyes for you.

That boy.

Only has eyes for you.

 Wei Ying??

[angstysebfan]

The Truth Will Set You Free- Part 3

Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader, Thor x Reader (other Avenger characters)

AU: Modern

Summary: You dated for two years, and thought he was the one for you. One day you came home and found him with someone else. After running away from you, you return home and found yourself in the arms of Thor. When Thor decides to introduce you to his friends at a dinner, you realize that there’s something familiar about the house you were visiting.

Warnings: implied cheating, language

--

Steve allowed you and Bucky to go up to his guest room to talk without being interrupted. You walk into the room, and immediately start to pace, as Bucky walks in and closes the door. He watches you with a mix of guilt, sadness, and relief that you are here.

Bucky never thought he would see you again, and that thought killed him. When you left that day, he thought he was going to die from the pain. He shut himself out from everyone, because nothing was going to take the pain of losing you away. You refused to answer any calls or texts, and when he went to your job and heard you were transferred, he knew that he had lost you forever.

Now he stands in a room with you as you pace, and he worries that even though he has an excuse for what you saw, he might be too late, and you have moved on with Thor. Bucky takes a deep breath and tries to find some courage to speak.

“Y/N?” he says softly, which makes you stop pacing and glare at him.

“Tell me, Bucky. Tell me now. Why did you cheat on me?” you ask angrily, trying to hold back tears.

Bucky wants nothing more than to grab you and hold you, but he walks further into the room and sits on the bed. He looks at his hands for a moment before turning his beautiful blue eyes on you. “I didn’t cheat on you,” he says.

You scoff in disbelief, “I know what I saw that day, Bucky!” you scream and start pacing again. 

“I know what you saw, but it wasn’t what you thought. I never cheated on you. I would never have cheated on you. I love you!” Bucky says as he stands and stops you from pacing but grabbing your arms.

You violently pull away from him, “Oh please! You and Nat sleeping in our bed, naked?” you say sarcastically. Who did he think he was kidding?

“We weren’t naked,” he said calmly.

You stare at him, blinking a few times. You remember that day. You have that image ingrained into your memory. Was he just messing with you? You open your mouth to respond, but Bucky beats you to it.

“I didn’t have a shirt on, but I was wearing sweats. Nat at that tube top thing on that you wear sometimes. We were both wearing clothes. I mean I can understand how it looked, but I swear I didn’t cheat on you,” Bucky said.

You don’t know how to respond. How can you honestly know if he is telling you the truth or not? So many questions entered your mind at once, you didn’t know which to ask first. You take a deep breath and try to calm down your nerves. The adrenaline seems to have evaporated and you now feel exhausted from todays events.

“Ok, let’s just say, for arguments sake, I believe that you were wearing clothes. Why was she sleeping with you in our bed? Why did you have your shirt off?” you ask looking out the window, not knowing if you could handle looking at him at the moment.

“I-I want to tell you everything, but I am not sure how much I can actually tell you. I know that sounds bad, but there are things that I am not at liberty to tell,” he says.

You glare at him and stand, “Then there is nothing left to discuss. If you cannot be honest with me, then we are done here,” you say as you start walking toward the door.

Bucky grabs your wrist, “No! Please! Don’t leave. There are things I can say. If you are not satisfied after what I have to say then I will see if I can tell you the whole story. I know this sounds crazy and maybe it is, but I really want to explain my side. Please?” Bucky begs.

You sit back on the bed and nod for Bucky to continue. “Ok,” Bucky breathes. “I should have worn a shirt. I was working on my bike outside when Nat showed up. It was really hot out, so I didn’t have my shirt on. Even when we went it, I was just so warm that I kept it off. I should have put one anyway but there it is,” he says shaking his head.

“Nat came over to talk to me about something. That’s the part I can’t really disclose without her permission. But she was really upset. We were in the living room and she was crying and I was trying to console her. After awhile, she fell asleep. I decided to leave her on the couch, and went into our room to nap myself. Next thing I knew, you were barging into the door screaming and Nat was in the bed with me,” Bucky says, looking at you sadly.

“You really expect me to believe that you had no idea Nat joined you in our bed?” you ask.

“Y/N, if you recall, I didn’t sleep well the night before because of nightmares. I passed out and I am dead serious when I say, I had no idea Nat followed me into the room I swear,” he says, hoping to god you believe him.

You stare out the window, taking in everything he said. I mean you could remember him not sleeping the night before, so it would make sense that when he fell asleep that he completely passed out. But Nat going into your bed is so inappropriate! Why won’t he tell you what their discussion was?

“What did you and Nat talk about?” you ask quietly.

Bucky sighs, knowing you were going to ask that question. “If you give me a moment to ask her if it’s ok. I will tell you, but I’m afraid I can’t without her permission,” Bucky says.

You look at him and wonder if you should allow him to bring Nat into your conversation. You don’t understand why he can’t just tell you. Will it even matter? You sigh and rub your brow as your thoughts fly through your head. 

“I- I have to go find Thor,” you surprise yourself by saying. Bucky looks down and can’t help the tears that start falling down his cheeks.

“I know you care about him, but--”

“I am falling for him Bucky. Even if what you say is true, and I am the asshole in this story. I’ve moved on. I’m sorry, but you moved on too. You and Nat are dating, so maybe we should just close this chapter and move on,” you say, as tears start to fall down your cheeks as well.

“Nat and I are not dating. I haven’t dated anyone since you. You are it for me. Please, Y/N,” he begs. 

It breaks your heart to hear his voice crack at the end of his plea. You sniff and stand.

“I have to think about this. I need to talk to Thor. I-I don’t know what will happen from here,” you say as you grab your things and walk to the door. You stop and turn toward Bucky, who continues to sit on the bed and silently sob.

“I’ll reach out to you, and hopefully you can tell me everything, but I can’t waste anymore time here and let Thor think I don’t care about him,” you say, feeling guilty for leaving Bucky like this.

Bucky stands and walks over to you. “I will tell you everything. I will make sure it’s ok, but I need you to know that I still am irrevocably in love with you. I know you care for Thor, but I want you to think if there is any love left for me, because as far as I am concerned, you are the only one for me,” he says before kissing the top of your head and leaving the room.

You stand there in a shock for a second before coming to your senses and heading back downstairs, your Uber already being called. You don’t bother to say anything to anyone and just head out of the house. In a few minutes, your ride picks you up and you head toward Thor’s apartment. You hope that he will let you apologize.

Your emotions and thoughts are everywhere. You know you still love Bucky, and yes you have deep feelings for Thor. Now you are in a position to make a choice, but you want all the facts first, plus you don’t know if Thor will even take you back.

You sit in your Uber and silently cry as you realize the pickle you are truly in.

--

Part 2 / Part 4

What do you guys think of Bucky’s excuse? What could Nat be hiding and will it make a difference? Will Thor forgive Y/N and his friends? Who should Y/N choose when it comes down to it? So many questions, so little time! Feedback is appreciated! 

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