#mostly that it's really really tough haha

[effses]

Would you catch a precious little snowflake on your snout, knowing it would melt?

(Date: Nov 2021)

[backwardsbread]

Hazbin Hotel Characters:

~Marriage proposals~

Warnings‼️: genderneutral!reader, established relationship, characterxreader, lots of fluff, Valentino existing, mentions of cannibals/cannibalism, possessive behavior, pet names used, mentions of divorce, some swearing.

A/N: How would the Hazbin hotel characters propose! I might do a vise versa, where reader proposes. But this one is the characters proposing to YOU. Enjoy~!

This is pretty long- I don’t know how to find word count, but if anyone wants more, drop a request :))

?Semi proofread?

Lucifer:

This man is a NERVOUS WRECK.

When he realizes he wants to marry you, he lowkey panics. Starts acting like you guys just now started dating.

He’s super anxious, trying to impress you, and prove that he’s good enough for you.

(Whether he’s trying to prove that to you, or himself, is up for debate.)

The two of you met on a whim. You didn’t really know it was the king of hell you were talking to when you first met.

How could this be the king?? He was so goofy. His playful demeanor immediately drew you in.

With even learning about how Lucifer was, it didn’t stop those fuzzy feelings towards him that bubbled in your chest.

It took him a long time to even get into a relationship with you, due to him being caught up in his past with Lillith.

But overtime, your affection is what gets him through the tough days.

He gets all flustered and embarrassed at your sweet gestures, trying to hide the fact that he’s realizing he wants you to always only be his.

As we know, he had a previous marriage and that commitment failed him before. He had a right to feel nervous of the subject that once bruised his soul.

But in his heart, he truly knows this is what he wants. He wants to spend his eternity with you if you allowed him to.

When the thought has finally settled, and he knows he’s ready to try marriage again, it doesn’t settle his nerves.

This has to be PERFECT-

He needs the perfect ring, the perfect setting, the perfect outfit. All of which he had easy access to, he is the king afterall.

Yet, nothing seems to be perfect enough. Nothing is enough, nothing he can think of matches how strong his feelings are for you.

Once he thinks he’s decided on what will be perfect, he ditches the idea to try and come up with something better.

He consults Charlie on this issue a lot. Including her in this is very important to him. He makes sure she’s comfortable with the idea of him being married to someone who wasn’t her mother.

Charlie is a bit put off by the idea, it’s strange to think about. She never thought of her father getting remarried, but the thought doesn’t necessary upset her. She’s more worried about history repeating itself.

Overall, she wants her father to be happy, and helps him prepare for the proposal in any way she can.

(Mostly moral support because this guy is in emotional turmoil over this.)

He’s in a constant inbetween of if this was the right thing to do. Was it too soon in your guys relationship? Was it too soon after his divorce? Would you even want to spend the rest of your damnation with the one who started it all?

With heavy encouragement and reassurance from Charlie, he finally has the guts to ask you the big question.

But….. when he takes you out on the date where he meant to propose…

He chickens out. (Or ducks out haha)

“It is quite beautiful tonight.. you know I love you, right?……. Good! Yeah-! U-Uh-.. oh my golly! Look at the time! How that darn old thing does fly-Haha! W-We should head home!- boy am I tired-!”

Rinse and repeat this process a handful of times.

You do start to get a bit skeptical of your partners behavior. You guys had been going on extremely fancy dates at least once a week.

And while you had no complaints on spending time with Lucifer, you did notice his strange behavior.

The way his mood would incline before your guys’ date, and then suddenly decline when it was over. Then having to take the rest of the week to heal his pride.

It was just a big rollercoaster of emotions. You were starting to worry you were the cause of his stress.

(I mean. Technically you were)

During one of his many attempts in asking you, he had already internally given up when he stumbled over his words in the middle of dinner.

Your date was coming to a close, and like clockwork, Lucifer’s chipper mood deteriorated.

His shoulders slumped, he was pouty, and dragging his feet on the way back to the castle.

Before the two of you can enter, you grab Lucifer’s hand, stopping him. He gives you a confused look, posture straightening to look at you.

You give him small pecks all over his face, in hopes to cheer him up from whatever was troubling him.

Your actions have the affect you were hoping for, as he laughs and steals your lips into his own, a wide smile on his face as he rests his hands on your waist.

His nerves seemed to dissipate as he felt an overwhelming sense of security and love for you.

His body was moving before his mind could keep up. The moment just felt right.

He pulls away from your shared embrace, reaching into his pocket, and getting down on one knee. He opens the ring box, revealing the glimmering jewelry within it.

You look at him in shock and he returns the same look, surprised at his own actions. Well there was no backing out of it now- (saY SOMETHING LUCIFER-)

It takes him a few seconds to recover from the shock and he’s tempted to just pretend to tie his shoe. But you knew his intentions and watched the nerves wrack their way up his body once again.

Before he can even speak, give a speech he had rehearsed probably a hundred times in front of his mirror, you say yes.

And the relief that washes over this man— the weight that lifted off his shoulders in that moment— felt amazing.

You bend down with him, smiling ear to ear and chuckling as you realized this is why he was so worked up the past couple months.

Tears fill Lucifer’s eyes as he slides the piece of jewelry onto your ring finger.

You kiss away the tears that slip down his face and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

His tattered heart feeling stitched back together that day.

Alastor:

We all know Alastor isn’t the biggest on romance.

He’s a true gentleman, of course, but public displays of affection and intimate relationships weren’t his cup of tea.

The two of you had know each other for years in the afterlife, yet it was only recently you had put a label on your relationship.

Falling for you was never part of his plan.

He first saw you as an prey, only a possible soul he could claim for his ongoing collection.

But your sickening sweetness unfortunately grew on him over time. He once wanted to take advantage of it, but he became too fond of you to corrupt it.

You moved from his prey to his acquaintance.

You lived in cannibal town where he would frequently visit.

You join the gossip sessions with him and Rosie, indulging in their banter. It starts by you just walking by and throwing a comment towards their conversation you were listening in to. Eventually you had your own designated seat at their table.

Rosie definitely saw the potential the connection you and Alastor had, so she subtly pushes the two of you to hang out more.

This leads to your relationship advancing from mere acquaintances to good friends. The transition quick due to Rosie’s persistence.

Anytime Alastor would visit cannibal town, he would make effort to pay you a visit. He just felt so drawn to your company.

His smile felt less strained, his body would relax, and he could do what he wanted while you served up some fresh pinkie fingers.

There would be occasions of Alastor realizing he’s dropped his guard around you, and he would be snippy and aggressive those days. In fear of going soft and losing his mojo.

The first time he did this scared you,

(I mean obviously, the mans body grows two-ten times in his demon form)

But after a talk with Rosie about it, you tried to be understanding. Instead of falling away or distant with Alastor after his little tantrums, you simply waited it out. When he was back to normal asking softly if he wanted to talk about it or move on.

It wasn’t clear to you when you guys really started being affectionate towards one another. It just kind of happened.

You knew Alastor to be a gentleman before formally meeting him. So him linking arms with you, kissing your knuckles, holding open doors was nothing new.

It seemed like everyone besides the two of you knew the true feelings you two had for each other before you guys did.

You were holding hands, seeing each other everyday, Alastor would give you his coat to borrow on colder days, etc. Just small sweet gestures the two of you would share.

It took an incredible amount of time for Alastor to come to terms with his feelings. He hadn’t done this before and had no control of what his heart wanted. It was scary.

Putting a label on what you guys had didn’t seem necessary. The two of you knew what you meant to each other in an unspoken agreement.

(Rosie did eventually pressure him to actually ask you out however. It was the gentleman’s thing to do)

(But enough backstory)

More often than not, Alastor found himself spending his nights with you. Not to leave until the morning or midday after.

The two of you practically lived together when the overlord wasn’t too busy with other matters.

We already went over how the two of you weren’t big on labels. It wasn’t until Rosie asked that Alastor had even thought about marriage.

“Sooo… when are you going to put a rock on your pretty thang’s finger?”

“Hm? I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“What?? You’re kidding right? That darling and you have been together ages! You wouldn’t want someone else swiping them away from you, right?”

“Hah! Never going to happen. Who in their right mind would try that?”

“…”

“You do know where we are, right?”

It had never occurred to the Radio demon before. You guys had made your relationship official of course. Anyone else who would try and court you and take you away from him would be simply insane.

But the thought wormed itself into his brain and flourished.

The thought of not knowing what you were doing 24/7. The thought of someone possibly stealing you away without his knowledge.

The thought of some undeserving sinner having their hands on what belonged to him.

It irked him.

After that conversation with Rosie, say goodbye to your privacy. You’re not going anywhere alone. He can’t risk someone even attempting to steal you away.

It was irritating how he was always tracking you, keeping a shadow with you at all times.

If someone even dared to hold open a door for you that wasn’t him or his shadow, he’d show up at your side in an instant.

It made you anxious and overall, you felt your partner didn’t trust you.

You did express these feelings to Alastor, but your words seemed to phase right through him. You had no idea what had gotten into him to make him (even more) protective.

You joined him in bed one night, as he was stilling up, enjoying a book with jazz music emitting from his aura.

You cuddle close to him, the feeling of fuzzy static that enveloped you a comforter for your slumber.

Before you can let yourself drift off to sleep, your partner closes his book with one hand, the loud thump making you jolt.

“Say darling, what do you think of marriage?”

The sudden ask has you dumbfounded, giving him a deer in headlights stare. (Hah-)

He had never even mentioned marriage before yet here he was now, smiling at you as he waited for your response.

You give honesty, telling him you never really thought of it yourself and you were surprised to hear the idea from him.

You did mention how the subject didn’t draw you away. You knew you loved Alastor with your entire soul. Your heart and soul were his without one of his binding contracts.

Once he hears your approval he snaps his fingers making one of his shadows appear, holding out his signature red coat to him. He reaches into the pocket of his jacket, fishing out what he desired.

He pulled out a small box and handed it to you, his shadow dismissing itself from the scene.

You give him a confused look, before gently opening the box. Your eyes meeting the small band inside.

Oh- he was serious?????

You give him a puzzled look, while he just tilts his head at you, silently asking ‘too soon?’

Your eyes continue to track from the ring, to him, back to the ring, then back to him.

Your hesitation comes off as denial to Alastor, so he reaches out to take the box back. Before he can even lay a finger on it, you pull it to your chest protectively.

You give him a glare for even having the audacity to try and take this away from you. Your actions make him chuckle and hold his hands up defensively.

You slip the band onto your ring finger. Once it’s perfectly snug onto your digit, you pull your partner close to you, peppering his lips with small pecks. Scolding him in between your kisses for being so nonchalant.

He simply chuckles against your affections, telling you the ring will be a reminder you are always his.

And you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Vox:

Vox is not one for settling down. No shot in hell.

Have you seen this man?? Holy hell take a chill pill.

A lot of Vox’s priorities lie with his work. He’s always pushing the boundaries of tech, eager to create something new and be on the face of it.

He never thought of dating. Being tied down to one person made him cringe. So the thought of marriage never even entered his system.

Then there was you of course. Messing up his plans.

How could he not fall for you? You were charming, beautiful, and down right too good for him.

(According to him.)

Your presence and the feelings you gave him made him feel threatened. He tried to put him a wall between the two of you, avoiding you at all costs.

But when he would look at his phone, seeing your icon pop up with messages to him. His fans would kick into gear, his cold heart ticking rapidly in his chest.

Yeah he had it BAD.

When you became a priority to him as well, it kind of threw a wrench in the balance of his schedule.

Yes he loves you but that fact scares him. He wasn’t exactly the safest demon to be around.

So he found it better that the two of you keep your relationship secret. Mostly spending early mornings and late nights with you.

It was difficult to manage. You wanted nothing more than to try hang out with your partner all day but he was always busy.

You would visit him at work, but on very rare occasion. You still owned your soul, which meant Valentino saw it as up for grabs, despite Vox’s warnings (threats) to not lay a finger on you.

As much as you enjoyed visiting your partner at work, you understood his reasonings for being uncomfortable with it.

Besides that, the chance of others seeing the two of you in public was way too high. You guys didn’t usually go on dates.

Your partner was more comfortable having you stay at home, having a double life without him. You lived with Vox, but outside of the time you two spent together, you had your own things going on.

Vox knew about it of course, he cares about you more than anything. He needs to know what’s going on at all times. And what you had going on outside of him was important to him.

He always has a screen pulled up in his monitor room while working. Just to see what you were up to.

The screen usually tracked a camera on you whenever you went out, it displayed your phone screen whenever it was in use, and showed your vitals on the bottom corner of the screen.

He didn’t trust the sinners that roamed these streets, rightfully so. Being able to track you gave him a source of comfort when he couldn’t always be around.

As mentioned before, going out on dates wasn’t really a thing. But Vox would usually clear up one day a month in his schedule. Just to spend the entire day with you.

(Of course he occasionally shuts down, checking how everything is going at V headquarters while he’s not around. Cant take this man entirely away from his work)

You’d spend those days cuddling, ordering in some takeout, and just catching up with each other. Getting in as much affection as you could.

The nights were soft and intimate. It was what you always looked forward to.

Vox had some things to do early morning on the day designated for the two of you. You did pout and complain to him, but he promised to be back as soon as he could.

Hours passed and you started to get a little bit peeved that your partner had yet to return home. Checking the time, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

You get dolled up, pack up a small container of snacks, and head to V’s headquarters.

Making your way through the crowd of demons and sinners. You head up the elevator, but it stops on Valentinos floor.

And with just your luck, the lustful demon is standing there, waiting to get on. When he sees your face, he grins wide and enters the elevator. Standing uncomfortably close.

He blows out his pink slut smoke into the small space, making you cringe and try to waft the stench away from you.

Valentino is touchy and that’s an understatement.

So when he bends down at your level, once again offering a job to you, your heart rate spikes.

Meanwhile, Vox is having a one sided argument with Velvette, the young overlord scolding him as she changed his outfit several times.

It wasn’t often Vox was used as a model for Velvette, but he had actually asked her ahead of time to design something special for you and him.

By ahead of time, he asked yesterday, not giving Velvette nearly enough time.

While he tuned out of his teammate reprimanding him, his watch buzzed, alerting him of your abnormal heart rate.

He gives a confused look, his screen going black for a second as he brought up his home security camera on his screen. When seeing you weren’t at the house, his eye twitched.

Where the hell did you go??

He was brought back, his face glitching in and out as he pulled out his phone, bringing up your location.

He saw how close you were and immediately thought the worst.

He zaps himself into the nearest camera, zipping through the electronics to find where you are.

Within a minute, he’s found you in the elevator, practically cornered by Valentino who was literally drooling on you.

The lights flicker in the elevator as it comes to a screeching halt. Cue your partner showing up with a crack of blue electricity, yanking Valentino away from you by the moth’s wing.

He puts himself in front of you, acting as a shield so you don’t have to be near Valentino’s poison.

“W̵̰̻͍̉̔̅̀̐͐͒͆̒̚ḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ǎ̴̯̀͠t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ f̵̢̻͈̫̬̻͔̘̞͈̆̇̍̈̌͊ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓c̵̛̥͊k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ d̶̓��̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝i̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓’r̵̡͕͈͚͍͍̼͕̍̀̈́̽̎̍͗̍́̏̚͜͠ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅi̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝ǧ̷̡̟̲̹̩̱͉̮̭͇͚̮̖̟̽̓͊̔̓̕??”

(What the fuck do you think you’re doing??)

Vox’s voice glitched out, muted TV static layering his voice as the fans whirled in the back of his head. In a desperate attempt to cool him down.

Valentino doesn’t give much of a reaction, putting his hands up in feigned innocence.

“𝒟𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒱𝑜𝓍𝓍𝒾𝑒! 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻-“

“You better watch your mouth.”

“𝒪𝒽𝒽, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓈𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑒𝓉. 𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝑔 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑒.”

Valentino speaks with sickening sarcasm. You look between the two, incredibly confused. Vox looks like he’s about to explode.

The lights flicker back on, and the door opens, Vox demanding his business partner leave.

The moth scowls at the both of you, before putting one set of hands on his hips, the other set of arms crossing across his chest. In the most sassy way possibly leave the two of you behind.

Vox waits for the elevator door to close before he can breath again. He’s muttering angrily to himself, one hand on either side of his screen as he tries not to blue screen.

You put your hand over his, his cold hand giving you a subtle shock of electricity as you touched him. You give him a concerned gaze, silently asking if he was okay.

Vox looks at you, shoulders relaxing just looking into your comforting eyes. Little bolts of electricity shoot out from the side of his screen as he tries to calm himself, his fans working overtime.

You set down the bag of treats you were bringing for him to hold his hands in your own. You give him a bright smile, concern not leaving your eyes.

You reassure him that whatever he had planned isn’t ruined. You could just pretend you didn’t know! You didn’t want this little run in to ruin your guys’ day.

You ramble on as he just stares at you, almost blankly, his screen fading from blue to a baby pink as he listened to you.

As you’re apologizing for causing trouble, he puts a hand up to stop your little speech.

He reaches into his pant pocket, pulling out a small halo shaped piece of jewelry. He holds your left hand in his own as he gets down on one knee in front of you.

I mean.. you knew he had a surprise planned, but seeing his actions didn’t fail to shock you.

He gives a little speech to you, stuttering and glitching over his words as he tries to explain himself.

For being a perfectionist overlord, this was one hell of a show.

He’s a blushing glitching mess, cursing to himself when he couldn’t find the exact words he wanted to say.

You grab the sides of his screen, looking him in the eyes and forcing him to meet your gaze. You’re saying yes before he can embarrass himself anymore.

He looks a bit shocked by your response, he can’t believe you said yes after that display he just put on. Before he can get the ring on your finger, he blue screens from shock and embarrassment.

You kind of chuckle and sit down beside your partner while you wait for him to reboot. Not like you could go anywhere with the elevator being stuck with the two of you inside. You do gently take the piece of jewlry, sliding it onto your finger and admiring its design.

Cuddling into Vox’s arm, you can’t help but smile brightly at the decorative piece snug on your ring finger.

It was perfect.

[monicaeidolith]

it's been 8 years and she's still down bad for her neighbor (who wouldn't)

and so there she is: Step 3 Athena! 🌙✨

Step 1 & Step 2 here

(Infos about Athena in every steps except 4 below if you're interested)

(watch out it's long.)

Step 1 -

At 10, Athena is a very curious girl, somewhat nosey and a bit clumsy (main reason why she often has bandages). She likes puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing (but nothing that serious about that hobby yet). While she isn't very shy, she's still uneasy around people she doesn't know and moving to a new town isn't helping. She has trouble accepting changes, and this whole situation is a way too big change.

Athena is very close to her mom during step 1. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't really look like her that much and she's kind of bothered by that, especially because the person she obviously looks like, her "dad", isn't there. Not having a dad isn't really a huge problem for her, but Athena fears a little bit people's opinion on that subject: "Is it weird that I don't have a dad...?".

She's feeling sad and scared about moving out, as she has to get used to a completely different world (in her eyes). "At least I have my mom", she thinks. But if moving in Golden Grove was scary at first, meeting Qiu and Tamarack was a huge help for Athena to feel included.

She thinks Qiu, aka "Autumn", is funny but also a huge show-off, haha. She LOVES to tease Qiu. But Athena's also genuinely worried about Qiu sometimes, because that kid is a huge people-pleaser.

When it comes to Tamarack, man... Athena totally puts this girl on a pedestal. She thinks Tamarack is amazing and pretty. And should Tamarack say anything positive about Athena, you can be certain the latter will go crazy internally. At 10, Athena doesn't realize she actually has a huge crush on Tamarack yet, though.

Step 2 -

At 14, Athena became a sort of troublemaker, she barely cares about rules. She's not mean but she grew to be more blunt and direct than she was as a 10-year-old, this and her current appearance make her seem unapproachable. However she kept her soft side, a side that she ironically doesn't even keep that much hidden but that you still have to deserve. If at 10 she would often have bandages because of her clumsiness, at 14, it's mostly because she's reckless. Some things that remained are her love for puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing, in fact, she started to get interested in visual arts.

In fact, the tough side of her personality grew when her first group friends with Qiu and Tamarack slowly fell apart. She couldn't do anything to prevent that from happening, so she felt like she had to toughen up. But to be honest, she's becoming tired of being the sole link between them, she's barely trying to now. Maybe Qiu and Tamarack won't become friends again. She has to accept it... but maybe Athena still has troubles accepting changes, no matter how old she is, after all.

Despite all that, Athena still treats both of them nicely. She still teases Qiu whenever she can (watch out Athena, the teasing could backfire on you). Her worries about them are still present too, but for different reasons than in step 1. Even 4 years later, Athena still retrieve Qiu's lost papers because they would NOT do it themselves. No matter what, Autumn remains her dear friend and the feeling is mutual.

Tamarack, aka "Tam", is her best friend! ... and the girl she has a crush on, Athena realized it now. Athena doesn't know if Tam feels the same way or not, though. Athena still thinks Tamarack is the most amazing and most talented person out there, she wishes Tam could see it too. She's highly worried about Tamarack potentially leaving Golden Grove at any moment but she tries to hide it from Tamarack. "Tam probably has enough of people walking on eggshells with her", she thinks. Athena dislikes Tamarack's parents for not only never being there for their daughter but also for making her situation so uncertain, only for their own interests (in her eyes).

Another feeling started to grow: jealousy. Athena will feel jealous of anyone who seems a bit too close to Tamarack. Does she think she's no match for Tamarack? Yes. Does that stop her from being jealous? No. She knows she has no right to be, Tamarack is a wonderful girl, it's impossible not to like her, but she can't help it.

Athena grew to be even more bothered by her lack of resemblance with her mother. Some times before turning 14, she started to dye her hair cranberry, just like her mom's hair color (let's say Opal didn't really like to see that her daughter started dyeing her hair at her young age, reaction Athena didn't appreciate, all she wanted was to look like her mom, what's the problem?). Ironically, while Athena wishes so hard to look like her mom, her relationship with her became somewhat strained. As if resembling a completely unknown guy wasn't enough. Living his best life nowhere to be found, uh? Resentment is the word here. Never towards her mom, even if their relationship is not that good at this point, but towards this guy who gave her his physical traits she never wanted and started to despise.

At least she became used to live in Golden Grove.

Step 3 -

At 18, Athena is not the rough troublemaker that she was at 14 anymore. Now she's more like a silly prankster, seemingly always up to something more stupid than before, although she remains reckless and blunt (but less on purpose and more out of habit). Of course, her interest in visual arts remained intact. Her liking for creepy stuff turned into a huge love for horror and its aesthetic.

Her relationship with her mom is getting better than it was 4 years ago. Athena grew out of the resentment she had for her "dad" during step 2 and learned to accept she may not look that much like her mom, but that it doesn't cancel the fact she's Opal's daughter no matter how she looks. Plus "some bits of [Opal] did end up in [her]" after all, right?

Athena's relationship with Autumn is what you could describe as "siblings by hearts", Athena does consider them as the sibling she never had.

Athena and Tamarack are still officially "besties for life", but little do they know that they both ended up falling in love with each other, plain and simple.

Her jealousy and resentment did tone down, but when she thinks back to her 14-year-old self, she feels bad, so bad. For being jealous of Tamarack's friends, for being resentful of a random donor and basically making many things about herself. "Man, I was such a prick. And for what?".

If when she was 14, Athena felt like she was no match for Tamarack because she put Tam on a pedestal, at 18, she now thinks she's simply not good enough as a person for Tamarack. She kind of "accepted" that if Tamarack only wants to be friends, then it's fine, she cannot force Tam to love her back. It's silly to think someone like her could be extra-special in Tam's heart anyway (girl if you knew.), it's nice enough to be her best friend.

Between step 2 and 3, Athena managed to put a label on herself: she's lesbian.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 [Part 1: Goldrush]

There's always a certain sense of childish sadness in a man consumed by rage and anger- because in a man like him, those feelings are simply born from the pain of the past, and the crushing fear of what the future might yet make him face.

Tags/Warnings: Mafia!Tiger!Jungkook, Deer!Reader, mentioned abuse, mentions of underground fights, graphic descriptions of violence, a gun oh no, Jungkook in a suit, it's pretty dark read at your own risk, there is like a hint of fluff?, just let me cook I promise it'll be worth it, do not read this if you're easily triggered/upset by dark and violent themes please thank you

Length: 6.5k Words (oh boy look at the size of that thing)

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: Haha remember when I said it'll be 3k words per chapter? well I lied oops

-> Masterlist

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Jungkook met you after his first fight for the Golden House.

Humming a tune you'd almost danced through the kitchen- though you were mostly focused on helping the other maids and cooks prepare the food for the higher up's currently invited for dinner at the estate. He remembers he'd scared you- probably due to his rather beat up face, none of it having been treated most of the time, just so he could scar up and look tough on the outside.

It had worked- somewhat. Though his hybrid genes had made it rather difficult to hurt him enough to permanently scar- all of them eventually fading, needing to be remade, night after night.

The look of fear in your eyes had been something he got used to- or maybe he simply didn't notice it after a while, maybe it became normal to see you in a constant state of fight or flight. He never saw you rest, only saw you work- but when you were away from the Boss and only amongst yourself or him, you had a certain sense of lightness to yourself. Like a feather, as cliché as it sounds.

If it wasn't for your hybrid features, Jungkook would've sworn you were more of a bird than a deer- put in a cage, fear used against yourself to lock you in and to the Golden House forever. Just like he himself was shackled up, bought and owned by the highest man just so he could have some amusement watching the tiger hybrid fight in the ring.

He was a toy to him. Just like you. Just like any other hybrid at the Golden House.

Sometimes, when no one was paying much attention, you'd visit Jungkook in his room. You'd clean his wounds, and most of all- you'd talk to him like an equal. You'd tell him of dreams you had at night, of thoughts you'd come up with during your chores, or with fantasies you had about the world outside the walls of the estate. And he'd listen to all of it, quietly, your voice soothing his wounds more than any medication ever could.

Maybe your fear towards him didn't just become normal to him, so he didn't notice it. Maybe it disappeared, slowly, and that's why it left your gaze. You didn't fear him. Didn't see him as an enemy. And maybe that's what really changed.

It was winter when he found out about the consequences to your actions.

He'd spotted you outside in the snow, white flakes falling steadily onto your head and clothes, feet naked and red from the cold. It was punishment- for caring for him, doing something you weren't told to. You'd hidden it, kept it a secret so he probably wouldn't feel bad- but the true nature of it was more selfish than that. "I don't want you to stop talking to me." You'd said when he'd confronted you about it. "I don't want you to ignore me like everyone else does." You'd cried. He hadn't even spoken much to you at all, and yet the few words he'd gifted to you were more than you had ever received before.

And so he had to compromise, and instead tried harder not to get injured in the ring, so no one would notice when you'd help him heal.

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He knows that you saw the signs when his mind had started to slip. When his anger grew, and his sanity took a backseat inside his head.

Especially when the Head of the estate had decided it would be a delight to make you watch Jungkook fighting in the ring every time he had to as a way of trying to make you stop your foolish actions of helping the fighting hybrid- to show you how cruel and brutal the otherwise quiet and reserved tiger could really be, as he'd dislocate limbs and break bones night after night with a certain sense of bloodthirst in his gaze, eyes no longer kind but cold. How he'd bite and scratch with pure intent to hurt and end the fight in his favor, no matter the outcome for his opponent.

Jungkook knows that your view on him changed back then, even if you did not tell him that. He could feel it, in the way your hands would begin to tremble before touching him, or how you'd suddenly no longer reach out to him.

Gone was your attachment to him, murdered was any emotional connection you'd been creating.

At the end of the day, you had been nothing but a puppet to the head of the Golden House, nothing but a doll fed with orders because no matter what, you'd do it if it meant you'd survive another day. You would've probably even killed him if it had been asked of you- even though he wouldn't have let you.

You wouldn't have stood a chance against him.

The kiss you'd shared had been more than questionable, and he does feel bad about the circumstances back then.

He knew that it could've gotten you killed if anybody had ever caught you both, and he also knows that if it wasn't for his own initiative, you would've never made that step either. But he loved you, he loved you so much it hurt, and he hated being hurt because it was a constant for him he could never escape.

Everything he did, every situation he found himself in, every waking moment had been nothing but pain in one way or another. Nothing could soothe that ache in his body, could somehow make that burn in his bones feel a little lighter.

Nothing but your touch.

You cared. Even though he knew that you feared him, you still cared. And he hated it.

Why didn't you push him away, make him angry at you so he could have a solid reason to just get rid of you? The only reason he continued to endure wasn't so he could survive- he never gave a fuck about survival, none at all. But the heartbreak in your eyes, the fact that you'd be alone, the memory of you crying so bitterly about being ignored and put aside was continuously making him pull himself back up whenever knocked down, to win the fight and come back to the Golden House-

where you'd wait for him, soft hands on his skin relieving his rage just for a moment. Giving him a second to breathe. Where you'd kiss his wounds, and lift all the weight off of him for just a second.

And then you betrayed him.

"Thats a train ticket! I got it from Chun, she said it'll take you to busan." You'd told him, panic in your eyes as you'd pushed the slightly torn canvas bag filled with clothes and other necessities further into his arms. "After your fight tonight, there will be a dog hybrid named Min Yoongi in the locker room. He'll take you to the station.!" You said.

"And you?" He asks, dreading the answer he'd inevitably get.

"I'll be your insurance." You'd smiled.

"He'll take all his anger out on you-" He'd worried, and you'd nodded, and never looked so brave.

"I know." You'd told him. "But you'll live- and that's enough for me."

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"Flake has been replaced with Dohyun. The people aren't very happy with it, but he'll make them accept the change soon enough." Namjoon offers, setting some papers down in front of Jungkook, who looks like he might be asleep- face resting on his hand, arm perched up with his elbow on the armrest of his chair.

"Hm, they're never happy when a hybrid's on top." He mumbles lowly, eyes not opening. "I assume Flake didn't go… voluntarily." He asks.

"No." Namjoon responds. "Was executed on his balcony."

"Classy. I like it." Jungkook chuckles, eyes slowly opening as he takes in a deep breath. "Hm, I'm hungry-" He starts, looking at his watch on his wrist. "-let's hope Hideo doesn't piss me off tonight, or I might just have to swap him too." He growls, slowly getting up to prepare for the dinner he has to attend with the human gangleader.

Jungkook had the chance to get out. He's been given the chance after all, by the only person he's ever really considered he 'loved'- and yet his thirst for blood wouldn't let him go. The need for revenge was way too big inside him to be just satisfied with living his own life away from his past- but he couldn't.

They took everything he ever had away from him. They took you away from him. And he'd never forgive that.

So he began to convince Yoongi to join him in his plans, took the first few pillars out to make the fundamentals of the underground gang life crumble. He shook up the entire game, and began to 'swap out' human leaders with hybrids from his own rows- a gang he'd build up himself, consisting of almost exclusively hybrids of all kinds. He knows he's not doing any good with the way he's doing things- but he doesn't care.

If he can't change the game, he'll become the best player instead.

And currently, he's definitely on the road to take the seat as the king.

"Jungkook!" The rather eccentric man stands up, opens his arms for the hybrid who does not attempt to return the gesture or accept the invitation at all. "My favorite big cat, come take a seat!" He laughs it off, sits down with Jungkook, who keeps his face stoic and expressionless. "Can we have some chairs here please? I'd hate for your friends to stay standing while we eat-" He tries, but Jungkook shakes his head.

"No need. I'd rather have them pay at attention." Jungkook responds, and Hideo laughs in front of him.

"Always so on edge. Never change my boy!" He jokes, before the food is being placed on the table. "So. I heard you let Flake tumble down his balcony like a dramatic movie-climax." He chuckles, cutting into his steak. Jungkook nods, begins to eat as well, but keeps his eyes on the man in front of him. "Quite the spectacle. Made the higher up's a little nervous." He tells him.

"Good." Jungkook simply answers, and Hideo laughs.

Hideo is one of the only few human leaders left in his original spot- mainly because the man is rather interested in surviving, and keeping his head in one piece. He's smart, albeit a little bit unhinged- sometimes even causing Jungkook himself to feel uneasy around the man. He's a wildcard, and does what he wants whenever he wants, only follows rules if they're in his favor.

So Jungkook is wary of him, and doesn't trust that man as far as the bridge of his own nose.

"They say his minions aren't too happy with your new choice." The man mumbles, shrugging his shoulders however, clearly unbothered. "But they just don't like the change. What you should worry about however, is the money you're loosing." He says, making Jungkook's eyes sharpen.

"What money are you talking about?" He asks, finishing up his plate.

"The money you're not aware of." Hideo chuckles. "Flake had two daughters, and rumor has it they both emptied their bank accounts a few days before you struck and pushed Rapunzel down her tower." The man informs him, licking his knife while looking at Jungkook, who tries hard to make nothing visible on his face. He knows exactly what the man is trying to tell him.

Somehow, those daughters knew Jungkook would attack. Which in turns, means someone told them.

Which hints at a snitch.

"Sakata is currently finding them as we speak, so no worries about that." Hideo suggests, finishing his meal as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. "The only thing you should do, would be to.. sniff out who needs to go, so to speak." He says, grinning at Yoongi, who pins his ears back in irritation at the joke. Jungkook leans back, tilts his head once, before he stands up.

"I want to know the whereabouts of those two daughters the moment you have them." Jungkook says dryly. "Do not kill them. I want to.. talk to them personally." He orders, and Hideo laughs, nodding with his hands clapping once.

"Of course! Oh and-" The human man grins, and it tells Jungkook that the man has something to say that will definitely cause problems. "-I heard my dear Chisoo left you a present at your estate?" He says, catching Jungkook off guard for a second, as the tiger hybrid looks to his side towards Namjoon, who shares an equally confused gaze. "Oh, you've not seen it yet? Hm, it does explain his good mood, doesn't it?" Hideo asks one of his guards who doesn't react. "Ah, I really liked that guy. Don't be too harsh on the boy, yeah? He doesn't know how to.. read a room, you know? His jokes can be terrible." He laughs.

Jungkook slowly leaves, but as soon as he sits inside the back of his car, he's growling out orders. "Call Chisoo right now." He demands Namjoon, who already dials the number. "If he doesn't answer we'll pay him a visit right now." He says, waiting for the speaker system of his car to reveal the voice of the man.

"Jungkook! What's up my guy?" The young voice chimes out.

"Cut the shit. What did you do?" Jungkook demands, and Chisoo just laughs on the other end.

"Oh you've not seen it yet? I thought you'd like it!" He says, clearly eating. "Saw the poor thing and remembered something I heard from a former guard of the Golden House." He chuckles, and Jungkook's blood runs cold. "Look man, I have some urgent business right now. If you don't want it, you can just get rid of it- I won't judge." He laughs, before he hangs up the phone.

"Tell Seokjin to check the premises before we drive back." Yoongi informs him from the driver's seat, instructing Namjoon who calls the man right away.

"Seokjin." Jungkook says as the phone is picked up. "What the fuck did Chisoo bring?" He demands to know, and grows increasingly uneasy when the answer isn't what he hoped he'd get.

"I.. you should just not worry about it. It was probably meant to just anger you." He tells the tiger hybrid, not specifying things. "I've already dealt with.. it, just-"

"That's not your decision to make." Jungkook growls. "I'm on my way back right now, and I want whatever it is in my office before I'm back at the estate. Am I making myself clear?" He demands.

"..yes." Seokjin simply complies, though with great hesitation.

Because he knows, the moment Jungkook knows what it is, there will be nothing capable of calming Jungkook down.

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One, two, three.

You're counting each tick of the clock standing on the table in the office, waiting for something to happen. That's all you've been instructed to do- the man earlier having escorted you here, and just told you to 'wait', and nothing else. So you do just that, naked feet on the soft carpet, intricate details on the fabric almost hypnotizing you. It's already a lot warmer in here than in your room at the Golden House- and the man who brought you here had given you his jacket too, probably because he thought you were shaking from the cold.

Which you did- but you also tend to shiver from fear, mostly due to your hybrid instincts.

Just.. in here, you don't really feel scared. It smells familiar in here, like something you forgot existed- almost like a childhood memory, far away but reawakened right in this moment. It soothes your worries and slows down your thoughts tremendously.

ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six.

You can hear faint noises now, ears turning towards the door behind you, though your body otherwise doesn't move. you don't dare to, since the handcuffs around your wrists might make a noise, and no one told you if you were allowed to move anyways. So you just stay still, even when you can hear someone argue in front of the door, angrily, upset. The voice is familiar, again- but you don't recall a face to it whatsoever.

One hundred.

The door opens, people walk in. Your face stays lowered, you don't even dare to swallow the saliva in your mouth. "Why the fuck did he send me a hybrid?!" Someone growls, and it makes your throat clog up, angry tone causing your muscles to tremble once more. "Fuck. And why is she not-" He starts, before he stops right next to you, frozen in place almost like you are- though due to different reasons.

"Jungkook-" Someone sighs, when Jungkook next to you talks again, but in a truly bone-chilling tone.

It's so low, and steady, that it makes everyone wordlessly follow the command.

"Out." He says. "Everyone, out, right fucking now." He growls, and both Namjoon and Yoongi leave, though the dog hybrid hesitates a little- shocked as well by the sight of you, most likely.

Once the door closes, it quiets down. All you can really hear is the way the man called Jungkook walks around, paces for a good while, clearly in distress. You're not sure why you're causing him to be like this- maybe he doesn't know if he wants to kill you or not. Or he's fighting primal urges to hunt you down as a predator hybrid. It could be a lot of things.

You lost track of the ticking. You can't hear it properly with Jungkook moving around like that.

"Don't- stop doing that.!" He suddenly says, and you notice yourself panicking. What are you doing right now? You're not moving, you're not looking at him, and neither have you said anything- though that's out of the question anyways. What are you doing that you need to stop? You're barely even breathing- maybe that's it? It's an odd request, and you doubt you can properly follow it for long, but if he wants you to do that-

"Stop being scared!" He suddenly roars at you, hands on your shoulders making you whimper out of pure instinct, as you watch his chest rise and fall rapidly. "Don't-.. I'm not.." He stammers, before he takes a deep breath, seems to control himself as his hands leave your shoulders, instead push themselves into the pockets of his slacks. "Look at me." He demands, and you do just that.

His hair is fairly long, growing over his ears, curly and a deep black. There's two round tiger ears between his wild hair, one of them a little torn, but the scar seems long healed. His eyes are piercing, watching you intently as if he's searching for something with desperation, jawline sharp but his face has a certain roundness to it.

It doesn't distract you from the danger he radiates, tail swaying impatiently behind him. He's a tiger, in every way- large shoulders and powerful muscles unable to be hidden even underneath the suit he wears.

But there's a certain shift in his posture and most of all his gaze as he seems to realize something about you.

"Who am I." He asks, or more so orders you to answer. You begin to panic once more. How are you supposed to answer that? "Who. Am. I." He repeats slower, and you open your mouth to say something-

though no coherent word leaves your lips, only barely a noise that even sounds like it hurts, and it makes your eyes sting.

Jungkook seems to grow angry again. Is he upset that you can't answer? Will he kill you now, because you're unable to give him a proper response?

"Do-" He looks absolutely devastated, and for some reason, it makes you sad. "Do you know who I am?" he quietly asks, bracing himself for the answer he might receive.

Though nothing could prepare him for the pain he feels in his entire body when you quietly shake your head, confirming his worst fears.

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You've not only forgotten him- but everything else too, it seems like, according to Namjoon, who'd been trying to sort you out since Jungkook left you in his office, unable to really have you close like that any longer. His friend had tried it all, and had also let someone with medical knowledge have a look at you- which also gave an explanation about why you just won't talk.

You can't. It's not clear what exactly must've happened, but there's a definite injury there that won't let you make any sound without pain.

It's now pretty obvious to him that you must've gotten caught giving him a way out- and you probably paid the consequences for it too. Whatever happened caused you to forget most of your past, and no one can be sure if it's permanent, or just temporary. What is clear however is that you're completely hollow. There's no trace of a personality in anything you do, no personal preferences towards anything, no interest, not even very noticeable emotions.

It's not surprising to him- and maybe that's what pains him the most.

"So if you don't tell her what to do, she will just do nothing at all?" Jungkook asks as he looks through some documents to distract himself. The more he thinks about you, the darker the possible punishments that you most likely received become in his head- mind forcing scene after scene of you into his brain.

"Won't even sleep if no one tells her to. She was awake the whole night because no one told her when to sleep I guess." Namjoon says, arms crossed. "It's hard to tell what she's thinking considering she doesn't talk." Namjoon sighs defeated, while Jungkook stares at the papers for a moment.

You used to talk a lot, back when he was still used for underground fighting, and you were nothing but a maid for the gangleader. He remembers you humming random songs while dressing his wounds- something you told him was to mostly distract yourself from not crying in front of him.

"I'll fight better next time." He'd told you while you carefully placed the large plaster onto one of the scratches that's still bleeding. "So you won't have to cry."

"I want every bit of info as to where she came from before Chisoo got his hands on her." He tells Yoongi who's been sitting in the corner.

"I believe Chisoo bought her straight from the Golden House. Overheard him talk to one of the guests." Yoongi responds, and Jungkook nods.

"Good." He smirks, standing up, and bracing his hands on the table with a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. "I've got some unfinished business with them anyways." He says. The Golden House was no longer a place of fear for him- because just like you, Jungkook isn't who he used to be.

"You're going to start a war over a hybrid friend you made years ago?" Namjoon worries. "Jungkook.." he sighs, but the Tiger hybrid doesn't back down.

Because you're not just a friend.

You were his Savior, the only soft thing he's ever had in his life.

"No. I'm not just starting a war-" Jungkook growls like the predator he is. "I'm getting my revenge."

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Yoongi watches over you like a guard dog, just like Jungkook had told him to.

You'd overheard the tall tiger hybrid give those instructions to Yoongi just before he left in his car, and now you're left standing in the hallway where someone last told you to wait. "Come. You need to eat." The dog hybrid mumbles, walking a step before he checks if you follow. You do.

Of course you do.

You'd jump out the fucking window if someone told you to do so.

Before you were taken in by the Golden House, you'd actually roamed the streets with the dog hybrid together. You'd slept in a storage unit his past owner had rented before he died, a small place of shelter you eventually shared with Yoongi before you met Yuan Shun, the past head of the Golden House. You'd been way too naive back then. Told Yoongi you'd finally found a home to go to, finally found work to pay him back all his kindness.

You didn't know what you'd get yourself into. Not before Shun had forced you to get the small tattoo on your wrist that would forever bind you to him no matter if he died or lived. Every member of the Golden House had to get it one way or another- there was no way around it.

It was burned into everyone's wrist, whether they wanted it or not.

And once you're in, there is no out.

"Jungkook won't harm you." Yoongi says as he pulls out a bowl of something prepared, before he puts it into the microwave to heat it up. "He's just.. he can be a bit.." the dog hybrid sighs, shaking his head a little, unsure how to phrase it properly. Jungkook has his own problems, and it's pretty obvious to everyone around him that he's not the sanest of people any longer. No one can blame him for cracking a few braincells after what's happened to him, that's true- but that doesn't mean that he's a monster.

He's just scarred by his past, and haunted by his potential future.

You want to ask Yoongi what your connection to the tiger hybrid is. You really do- but you also feel like it's none of your business. If anything, you're simply waiting for orders, for a job you'll be working as from now on, a task you'll be given in this new place. The dynamic of things here is confusing to you, how everyone seems to walk freely, no one ever standing in one place waiting to be needed. You even saw someone laughing in one of the hallways.

It's eerie. You don't like it here.

"Eat." Yoongi says, before he holds your wrist, one of his ears twitching in irritation when he notices it's the one with the fine lined burn mark of the Golden House. "- when it's cooled down a little, of course." He sighs, and you nod after a moment, staring at the bowl of pasta.

Waiting. Counting the ticking from the clock in the kitchen.

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"I don't give a flying fuck-" Jungkook growls, knee connecting with the man's jaw once more before he pushes the chair back, gripping his face to force him to look at him. "-about your so-called loyalty." He finishes his sentence. "The only reason I'm not breaking your jaw yet is because I need you to be able to talk." He threatens, before he steps back, and wipes his hand on a tissue.

"I'm not talking. Daeho will-" He starts, when Jungkook slowly and carefully loads a black gun in his hand, pulling the magazine back to ready it in his hands.

"Daeho will what?" Jungkook almost sings. "Kill you?" He asks with feigned innocence in his tone, while he walks forward, and points the nuzzle of the gun straight at the man's kneecap. "How nice. But you see, I'm not Daeho." The tiger tells him, tilting his head a little.

"And I'm not nice."

A shot rings through the small room, followed by agonized screaming, and the gun reloading in Jungkook's hands. "Now, I'll try again. Why did Daeho sell her to Chisoo?" He asks, and the man takes a few deep breaths.

"He wanted to fuck with you." He grits out from between his teeth. "He knew it would piss you off. He technically wanted to send you a tape- you know what kind." He says, and Jungkook's blood boils up again. Of course he knows what kind of actions that sick man would have forced you to do, what exactly he'd make Jungkook watch. "But he thought-.." The man needs to catch himself a little. "He thought it'd make more sense to give her to you instead. Alive."

"Why?" Jungkook asks.

"Because you'd lose your fucking- whatever the fuck you're doing!" He groans. "You'd turn soft. Maybe even break at the sight of her all fucked up like she is now." He explains. "That's why he messed her up before you got her." he says, clearly sweating now from his body trying to keep up with the rapid bloodloss.

Jungkook is silent, before he unloads the gun, clicks the safety in place, and puts it back into it's holster on his belt, turning to leave the room. "Wait- wait, what about me-!"

"You can bleed out right here like the pig you are."

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Nothing will ever return to what it once was.

Mostly, because whatever was, isn't any better than what is now. The blood staining Jungkook's hands is still the same consistency as back in the fighting ring, it still washes down the drain the same way as it did before. There's nothing new to the way his knuckles hurt from the force of the punches he'd delivered to the man, and yet, there's a new sting in his chest that just won't leave.

Before you came here, he had at least a way of pacifying his worries about you. Before, he'd been able to just convince himself that you probably got yourself killed for him- that you'd been set free after all, finally escaping your cage once and for all.

The fact that you did not, and instead just went from one cage to the next, makes him nauseous. He doesn't even want to know what you had to endure throughout the years you'd been apart. Now you're just a shell- a plastic lifeless version of what you once were, nothing of your soul remaining inside of you. Could he even consider you 'you' any longer? Or were you now someone else?

Are you someone at all?

"Where is she?" Jungkook asks Seokjin, who'd brought him a plate of dinner into his office.

"She's eating with Yoongi downstairs in the kitchen." He tells his boss and friend, who's currently looking outside the window facing the balcony. "What do we do with her?"

I don't know, is what Jungkook's only answer can be. Because he surely doesn't- he's unsure if actually killing you would be a more generous thing to do than letting you simply waste away in the state that you're in right now. What you are, in this moment, can't be called 'alive'. There's nothing living behind those eyes, nothing but fear.

But he also knows that he'd never be able to put the gun to your head and shoot.

"Can I give a suggestion?" Jin asks after a moment of silence, and Jungkook turns his head, nodding. "What if you turn this whole 'joke' around?"

"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks, body now moving as well to face his older friend.

"Right now, her presence is doing exactly what it's supposed to." The cat hybrid says. "She's making you lose focus, makes you act without thinking. That's what they want."

"I'm not killing her." Jungkook defends.

"I'm not asking you to." Seokjin says, walking closer. "But think about it. What about her is making you feel like this the most?" He urges.

The fear you have. The fact you forgot him. The terror in your eyes. The emptiness you represent.

"Jungkook, you told me once that back then, she was the only thing keeping you sane in that place." The man says, white ears twitching between his hair. "And she can become just that once again."

"Have you seen her?" Jungkook growls.

"Have you?" Jin challenges. "You're in a place of power here. You call the shots, this-" He gestures around. "-all of this is yours. You offer us protection, a home, a place to let our guard down for once. You're not who you were before. You turned your life around- and you can do it again, but this time, it'll be her's." He says, and suddenly, Jungkook understands what his friend is trying to tell him.

This is his place. His territory. He's in charge. He's in control.

Nothing will ever return to what it once was.

Because he'll be the change it needs to turn this twisted joke around.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Remember, he's nothing to be scared of." Yoongi tells you, before he opens the door, and gently pushes you inside by your lower back- before he leaves you alone with the tiger hybrid in the room, no longer wearing his jacket, only dressed in a casually unbuttoned black shirt and slacks.

Even his gun is on the table. You could take it at any moment, shoot him, no problem. You know how to shoot a gun. Is he that stupid?

Probably not. There has to be a reason for his actions- you don't think he got to his position by being reckless.

He moves slowly, a lot more confident and most of all relaxed than when you last saw him- the person he is right in this moment a stark contrast to who he'd been when he first saw you. It makes you suspicious, unsure, because if he houses so many different versions of himself inside his body, how could you ever know who the real one is?

"The rules in this house, and under my hand, are simple." He says, voice surprisingly calm as he speaks. "Loyalty." He states, looks at you- and from the fact alone that he doesn't seem to mind, you guess that Yoongi was right when he said that you were allowed to do that. "As long as you don't betray me, I will offer you a safe place, and protection."

That doesn't make sense to you.

If that was true, that would mean that he'd just take in random people just because they don't snitch on him- what the hell would he even get out of that? Inside the Golden House, there were already rumors about him. That he's possessed by the drive to 'change the game' and put hybrids up on top, an odd way to live since apparently he'd escaped this entire circus years prior. Why would he willingly return to it?

Even worse, play the game he barely managed to get out of?

He sits down on the edge of his bed, and only now do you realize where exactly you might be right now. And it confuses you even more. He's letting you into his personal rooms?

Why?

"Come here." He says, and your legs move without any of your control. Like a puppet on a string you're pulled towards him, unable to really go against any orders told to you, like you're mind controlled. The moment you stand in front of him, he reaches out his hand- and you're torn by the possible choice given to you. But if he reaches out, you're supposed to take the hand, right?

Instead, you put your own in his, not making a decision at all.

Control is a scary thing. You don't want it.

He looks at your wrist as he turns your hand over, thumb running over the signature branding you have on your skin, burned in scar never fading. It's when you can spot something on the hand that holds yours, between all the ink and color he's placed underneath the skin. A scar, achingly similar to your own.

Your eyes find his- but he's not looking at you.

So he's from the same place as you once were. Is that why he smells so familiar? Did you forget him? Or did you never know him at all, and simply caught traces of him during your time at the Golden House?

Who is he?

"From now on, you're mine." He tells you, and you soak up that info like a sponge. "You belong here, and nowhere else." He says, and you nod to make sure he knows that you understand. There's a small moment where he simply looks at you, before he nods as well, and lets go of your hand. "Can you write?" He asks, and you eagerly nod, finally expecting a task from him. You'll be useful, you'll have something to do- you won't just have to stand around and wait for something that never happens. "Good. That gives me at least some way you can talk to me, I guess." He mumbles to himself as he gets up and walks past you, to dig around in a small drawer of a desk close by. "I want you to talk. If not with your voice-" He offers a small, palm sized notebook to you, a pen clipped to it's side. "-then with this."

You take the booklet with a nod, opening it to write something down. He expects a thank you- but that's not what he gets.

'What is my purpose here?' you've written, and he sighs to himself.

"Heal." He says, making you look at him confused. You're already starting to show a lot more emotions he notices, and it calms him down quite a bit, because that means that even though you may have forgotten him, you're at least slowly adapting to the overall environment you're now in. You move to write something again, before you hold out the booklet.

'There has to be a job for me.' you write, and he tilts his head at you, arms crossed, veins clear under his forearms, exposed since he'd rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

"And I just told you what it is." He responds, face expressionless, but eyes glimmering with something almost mischievous. "Your job is to heal, adjust, and adapt to the way I run things." He tells you. "But if you want a.. job, I can try and arrange something for you." He huffs, dissatisfied, but still caving in.

You show him the opened page again, something added to the bottom.

'Thank you' is written there.

He just nods, and knocks on his door to give Namjoon the sign to take you to your room so you can sleep- and leave him by himself for a moment, as he watches the calm night-sky from his window, world steadily moving on while he doesn't know what's to come for him.

Even if Seokjin is right, there is no guarantee that this whole thing won't just backfire horribly. And there's still the looming threat of someone amongst his people who's currently the biggest danger to the house of cards Jungkook had barely built up over the years until now. If that person just so much as pushes one more card, it might all come falling down-

and this time, he'll take you with him.

If he dies, you can't survive.

Because if you do, you'll probably face a fate he doesn't even want to imagine.

[mister-mickey]

Okay okay so this is exposing me as probably the cringiest person ever maybe but‼️ descendants au!

Okay so for anyone who doesn’t know the basic premise of descendants, all the characters are the kids (aka, descendants) of (Disney) fairytale characters, both villains and heroes. The descendants movies mostly focus on the villain kids and their redemption, and that’s what the trilogy is basically about (ignore the new movie, it sucks, don’t even bother watching it)

Okay so, Darry, soda, and ponyboy are the sons of Gaston because I think it’s silly. Darry is strong like Gaston, soda is good with the ladies, and Ponyboy is the biggest disappointment ever.

He likes to READ like a FREAK so Gaston hates his stupid little child. Gaston isn’t too fond of Darry either because although Darry is big and strong, he sucks with the ladies, and is also intelligent and dislikes his dad.

Soda might be Gaston’s fave, but even he isn’t perfect because he’s skinny and not tough. So they all have severe daddy issues lol

After that we have Dallas who is technically the main character because he steals Mal’s spot as maleficents child. (He’s a fairy haha so funny)

He’s like a little demon and we love/hate him. He does magic and all that. He hates his mom because… she sucks but he also lowkey wants her approval because she is the most powerful person on the isle. He has almost the same relationship with her as Mal does in the movies, so there isn’t a whole lot to change

I gave him horns because I felt like mal should have had horns

Next is Johnny! His mom is mother Gothel because none of the main parents seemed to fit him. They have a complicated relationship because that lady is crazy but she’s also really good at pretending that she loves him

Poor guy is so conflicted 24/7. He’s got long hair because mother Gothel has somehow gotten it into her head that he will eventually become magical.

And then there is twobit!!!! His dad is Jafar which I’m pretty sure was @crazability idea

This was mostly because he seemed very similar to jay in the movies, but also because like… it just works. We like it

He’s goofier than jay is because he’s twobit but I think he plays a similar role

Then Steve!!! Steve is Cruella DeVil’s son. He is very smart obviously because he’s Steve but since Cruella owns the only car then he is ofc the car guy

Steve is the same except he is deathly scared of dogs because of his mom lol. He HATES her she is absolutely off her rocker

Now after them is the auradon kids!! These are obviously the socs because like, come on

They get tiny doodles because I got lazy.

Paul is the son of belle and the beats! He is the future king of auradon and that power goes to his blond curly head. He is also hopelessly in love with the person he keeps seeing in his dreams (if you’ve read the descendants books you know, but if you haven’t, I’ll explain later in the plot section)

Cherry is Ariel’s daughter! She’s a mermaid obviously and I’m assuming she’s melodys younger sister. We made her Ariel’s kid because she’s a redhead lol. Cherry is super chill until she meets annoying Dallas. She’s currently dating Bob

Marcia is fairy godmothers child and she takes Jane’s role in the original movies. She’s kind of insecure (though not AS insecure) and it does affect the way she behaves

Bob is literally just chad charming if his name was Bob. Also if chad was violent. Bob is Cinderella and Prince Charming’s son. He’s very eugh I guess

Randy is the son of aurora and whatever her husbands name is. He dislikes Dallas because of that but I’ll expand on that further down

OKAY! PLOT!

20-25 years previous, the villains were resurrected and sent to the isle of the lost. This was as a punishment becuase apparently death was not punishment enough. Obviously the villains have kids and the heroes have kids, but the villains kids grow up in an incredibly violent and poverty stricken environment. Cruelty is not just encouraged, but necessary for survival. Nobody cares about these kids so they often raise themselves

Well, the good guys elect a king to rule over all the lands (auradon) and they pick the beast from beauty and the beast. Whatever. Well now Paul is about to be king (despite his father being alive and fine. Stupid descendants lore)

Paul has been having dreams about blue eyes for months. He doesn’t remember anything else. It’s haunting him and he’s been searching for the person with blue eye for so long. He eventually figured that the person may be on the isle, so his first decree as a soon to be king is for some of the kids to be taken off of the isle.

So Darry, pony, soda, Dallas, Johnny, Steve, and twobit get picked. They are carted in a limousine and taken to auradon. Now, these guys have an EVIL plan thanks to Dally’s mom

The plot is basically the same after this except dally is the one doing the magic, but Darry is the one with the romance plot.

Basically, dally thinks Paul’s is gross and he refuses to seduce him. They all draw straws and darry loses. Dally makes the love potion, darry gets Paul to eat it, and then darry has to deal with Paul being head over heels for him. Eventually Darry falls in love back (which is super scary for him) which makes him not want to take over auradon.

Dally is conflicted because he wants to take over auradon to show his mom that he’s powerful but he’s quickly realizing that she will never care. He feels stupid for ever wanting her approval and sticks with the people that he KNOWS will always love him (the gang)

Now, they all get their arcs where they realize that they like living in auradon and they like being happy and not on the defensive 24/7.

Steve gets the dog arc where he realizes that his mom lied to him to keep him under her thumb

Twobit flirts with girls and tells jokes like he does on the isle, but in auradon people act likes he’s special for being witty. They want to be his friend. They actually try to get to know him and it makes him realize that his humor was a sort of defense tactic. He realizes that he doesn’t want to be funny just as a defense. He likes to make people smile. (Also room for marbit where he jokes with her and makes her feel good and she is a little less insecure but still insecure because insecurity doesn’t just go away after one conversation)

Johnny cuts his hair! It was an accident and he felt so nervous he almost passed out, thinking about how mad his mom would be. But then the teachers helped him even it out and make it look okay, and made sure he was okay. He felt free and happy that he was given a choice. He realizes that he wants the space to make choices

Soda is used to feeling dumb. He doesn’t like to read or do much of that stuff. He leaves it to darry and pony. It’s never been an issue for him, until the teachers started caring. It was awkward for him having all his teachers offer extra lessons because he struggled so much. It was weird having adults CARE about his issues. He starts to hate his dad a lot more

Pony is clear cut tbh. He likes to read, he hates fighting, and gangs, and wars, and everything else that the villains DO want. He meets belle and they become besties. He was on the auradon side since the beginning tbh. He felt very validated swapping his stories about his dad with her.

But! Trouble still happens when Marcia tries to make herself “better” and accidentally opens the barrier. Maleficent comes, causes trouble, and dally defeats her with the power of friendship

Darry realizes that the spell on Paul wore off ages ago and that Paul really does like him, boom! Happily ever after!

For now. Descendants two will include the Shepards 😈 and other characters if anyone has ideas on how to make that work

Also forgive me if this is confusing my phone is super laggy and I’m having trouble actually typing

Also! @batidochokolat wrote a few cute little snippets a while back of this au and I’m still crazy about it

[lemony-and-zesty]

Your au has hit me with the hyper-fixation stick. If I became annoying, I’m sorry.

How does everyone react/feel about JD being a hitman and him being so different from the brother they knew

And how does JD feel about himself being so different

I am sorry for taking a while to get to this but man I am so devastated by this question - especially the last part. And I wanna do right by it so I’ve been thinkin about it really hard.

I’m putting it under the read more, not just cause it got long, but it also got kinda,,, sad haha.

I’m thinkin they all have that initial reaction of “You’re a WHAT” ofc but it’s what comes directly before and after that that i really wanna nail down right.

Honestly I don’t even know which brother to start with 😭,,

I guess Floyd.

He’s shocked, of course, when he sees JD for the first time. Why’s he covered in so many scars? What could’ve possibly happened to him?

Why does Floyd feel like he’s seen him like this before

The main thing is trying to speak with him beyond just hellos. JD always seems to find some excuse to run off when Floyd’s involved.

It’s almost like he has to treat his oldest brother like a scared animal that’ll flee if he moves too quickly.

Floyd doesn’t know how he feels about that.

Once he finds out about it, he’s horrified. Both of and for John Dory. They’ve all been through so much, but this feels like something else entirely. He can see how affected he is and he’s devastated.

—

Next up is Clay.

He’d be the most,, angry,, about it all I think.

When he first sees John he’s quick to brush him off (like in canon) and that’s about the extent of it for a while. He honestly barely notices cause he’s too focused on his other brothers - especially Floyd.

It takes a long while for him to warm up to JD, and it doesn’t help that a lot of that bossiness JD had is still there. But he can tell he’s trying. Hell, they’re both trying. But Clay can’t help this feeling of unease that he gets around JD.

When he finds out,, god I can’t imagine anything but him getting furious and screaming at him. I feel like he’d storm off before even hearing JD out. He’d probably only be able to be calmed by one of his other brothers or Viva.

—

Bruce is mostly shocked at how quiet his older brother is. JD was a lot of things, but quiet was never one of them.

Honestly, much like Clay, a lot of things fly over Bruce’s head cause JD tends to just,, fade into the background when they’re all together.

And, y’know, it’s not easy to talk it out when he deflects and runs away from anything that gets anywhere close to what he got up to the past 20 years.

Bruce doesn’t want to pry, but he’s worried. The man before him is so unlike his older brother and it makes him nervous.

Once he finds out he’s devastated for his brother. Especially once JD explains the situation with the boss. And though it sounds kind of awful, Bruce can’t help but feel happy when JD finally cracks and explains it all to them, cause that’s the most like himself he’s seemed in a long time.

—

Branch is a bit of a tough one. Especially since she finds out well before the others,, what with JD being hired to target Poppy and all.

She’s furious when he first shows up, and even more so when she finds out who he is. Cause how could he do this? How could he leave her for twenty years only to come back and threaten to take away the one person she cared for most?

But, she needs him to help save Floyd, so she buries it and moves on. Still never letting herself be comfortable around him.

During the journey she finds herself noticing little things about John Dory. The way he carries himself, the way he tends to get lost in his thoughts. How he always seemed to be on guard.

She can’t help but feel a twinge of,, something.

He seems so much like she did back before she got her colors back.

She really doesn’t know how to feel about that.

When the truth comes out she’s horrified, but she can’t find it in her to blame JD too much. Not with how he describes the boss.

—

Overall, they’re just,, worried about him.

As for the target of all their worries? How does he feel about it all? Honestly, it’s pretty simple.

John Dory hates himself.

He hates every single thing about himself.

He tore his family apart, and almost like that wasn’t enough he just had to tear everyone else’s families apart too.

That’s the worst part, he thinks.

Every target, every hit, every kill. They had families. And all because of John’s mistakes, those families are ripped to shreds.

He can’t even stand to look at his own reflection cause every part of him just serves to remind him of everything he’s done.

Sometimes, especially after fleeing his boss and saving Floyd, he considers running again.

He considers just,, leaving and going back to the Neverglades and just letting the beasts tear him to pieces. At least like that he couldn’t hurt anyone else.

—

But yeah. That’s the gist of it :]

It’s a rough situation but I like to think they manage to navigate it.

Eventually,,

[glitter-stained]

Why dc has yet to contact me to write a comic: a snippet of a potential script

Rose and Jason are drinking cocktails together on a beach.

Rose: So how has your family been doing?

Jason: Well, it's been complicated, what with everyone cutting contact with Bruce, but we're doing better I think. I heard he's been going to therapy to deal with having been possessed by an evil ghost for over ten years of his life, so maybe we'll try to get in contact again after he's gotten better, if everyone feels safe enough.

Rose: That must have been tough. How have you been dealing with that?

Jason: Haven't had the time to process it yet, I've been pretty busy dealing with the different clones of me running around once I found out what was going on... Can you believe Luthor thought it would be a good strategy? We didn't even look like eachother -and some of them were so low-effort...

Rose: And to think, once again, the villain was capitalism. What about your siblings?

Jason: Well, not much is new. Tim did go on that complicated journey full of adventure and growth recently culminating in finding himself a new hero name and leaving Gotham to lead his team, someone sure should tell the story of how that happened haha. But this isn't about him. Mostly we're all really happy the Joker slipped on a banana peel and died. But enough about me! What about you, what have you been up to?

Rose: Oh well, Joey and I are relearning how to he siblings, it's a journey... I'm very happy we were able to bring Eddie and my mom back from the dead before we destroyed the machine that's been stopping death from mattering for a while together. Also mom and Adeline have started to date, we're all very supportive.

Jason: And what about, y'know, Deathstroke ?

Rose: Fell in a hole.

Jason: Since when?

Rose: couple of months ago. Sometimes I toss him little bits of cat food when I walk past the hole.

Jason: Neat. Hey Wanna go to space and ask Kyle Rayner if he'd be up for a threesome?

Rose: God I thought you would never ask.

Like, I get it, dc. You guys are intimidated. It's okay, not everybody can understand the vision.

[simplyreveries]

Can I request dorm leaders x reader whos Sam's younger sibling and its just chaotic at times with them and their partner but its sweet and adorable yet they also see a protective sam nearby or his friends on the other side watching them

You can ignore this if you don't want to or its a bother,have a lovely day/night

thats so cute what😭

riddle rosehearts

he finds how sweat you are to be endearing — it truly is what won him over with you… even though you get into trouble and chaos with ace, grim, and deuce a lot even when you're at heartslabyul to see him you find yourself attracting some sort of crazy situation to occur. nevertheless… riddle is a little bit more lenient with you and he does give you special treatment that the heartslabyul students have a love-hate relationship with because that means riddle wont exactly be Harsh on them either.

he was in the gardens with you one day showing you the pretty flamingos and cute hedgehogs that live there. he thought it was sweet to see as you held them in your hands, he watches you with a loving gaze only to be like utterly surprised when he catches a little shadow friend come and just disappear??? and you didnt even bat an eye when that happened too, just placing a hand on his arm giving him a reassuring laugh of “classic sam”... SAM??

riddle is a bit nervous to talk to your brother now whenever he comes by his mystery shop for something, but he tries his best to look and act his absolute best! sam chuckles because it's clear that he's trying to be exceptionally better in his eyes. though he does appreciate it when riddle does come up to him and ask him for advice on things that you would like as he peers around his shop looking for the perfect gift for you and such.

leona kingscholar

imagine having a good relationship with your brother, leona doesn't seem like he minds or cares much of sam or his little protective tendencies he may have over you. he'll shrug it off, thinking it’s more of annoyance when he's catches his friend finding the two of you together, like can't he see it's his time to sleep and rest on your lap right now... his ears always quirk at the faint noises of the shadow, and he huffs in irritation.

he's already used to a lot of chaotic behavior from a lot of people in this school and his own rowdy dormmates as well, so he doesn't really bat an eye when that sometimes gets yourself into trouble to which you would just playfully shrug off with a grin.

leona does think you are cute; your attitude comes to be very surprising for an all-villains school. but you've got him impressed with some of your own talents you've learned with sam, heavily within the business world- whenever you drag him into his mystery shop to say 'hi' to sam when walking through the campus. he does catch glimpse and hear your own inputs and even crazy but helpful ideas.

azul ashengrotto

it's a bit tough considering sam is basically his business rival... they have their own "battles" if you will with their businesses, like in their dorm ssr vignette where azul successful got customers back from sam by getting rights of his "mystery drink". he may or may not try to get some info out of you in terms of what ideas sam has for his store, but you just shut that down quickly haha.

azul does try to convince you that working at the mostro lounge is so much better for you. he keeps it as just a mere lighthearted suggestion - but you can tell he means it. he can't help it, i mean, your personality would be just great for customers! your chaotic energy would only just match floyds. azul would much rather have you around him more anyways.

sam wouldn't be the most trusting of azul, especially when it comes to you for more obvious reasons. so, it's going to take a while for him to start liking the idea of azul or let alone any of those untrustworthy octavinelle students, he knows what they're mostly about— he's been working at this school for a looong time. he says that like he isn't as well though….

he internally freaked out though when he notices sams shadow come and leave to just check up on you?? during one time when he was sharing a meal, small dessert and a moment with you during the calm after hours in the mostro lounge. he kept a cool and collected look, but this guy was sweating BULLETS.

kalim al-asim

he loves your energy, as kalim can always match it. he is just like you in many ways- you two are a perfect pair. he also gets along great, (at least he thinks) with sam as well. i mean, sam really doesn't worry much about kalim anyways, because its kalim. if he happens to notice sams little shadow friend on the off chance he'll happily wave and call out "hey! look who it is (name)!".

kalim straight up goes to sam all the time whenever he wants to know something like what he thinks he should get you as a gift or what kind of activities and dates would you like... but that sometimes just ends with kalim rambling about you to your own brother hehe. but hey, he also does want to be on sams good side!!

sam gave his approval though when kalim came in worriedly during near closing hours of the shop and literally bought anything and everything treat, chocolate, jewelry— things he thought you’d like and what. when sam was asking him what's this all for he’ll exclaim something is wrong with you and that you're clearly upset about something! (you only hugged him twice that day).

vil schoenheit

he thinks your relationship with your brother is endearing… he always been an only child so he wouldn't completely understand but he does value family a lot, which in his case, his father who he has a good relationship with

he believed he had a pretty solid relationship with sam, he does work there as a part timer during the new year's event. so, surely sam does have a good idea on the kind of person vil seems to be and believes he's a diligent person. not to mention he does have a popular and famous rep so surely; he's heard people talking about vil.

vil lowkey takes it personally when he notices sams shadow friends…. like theres no way he doesnt trust him?! he’ll have his brows furrowed, his hands on his hips and huff, and like riddle he’ll put on the best and most charismatic side of him to gain that brother of yours trust. like he did with the mostro lounge drink once, he’ll do the same for sam and promote a something new in his shop on his magicam-! plus you’ll like that too so it's easily a win-win for him.

idia shroud

he and sam have an interesting relationship considering they've once made some secret deal so idia could lowkey cheat in the beanfest event. so, they're both kind of chill together- well, sam was definitely a little... unsure when you happily came up to him you were dating idia.

besides that, one instance he hardly sees idia unless it's during the night to buy instant meals and recently released manga. but even then, it's the quickest in and out interaction with him. sam will always tell you finds that boy so strange, but then again everyone is here at this school, he’ll shrug it off… for the most part.

idia probably gets more nervous around him too though knowing he's an older sibling, as idia is older sibling himself he knows how overly protective they can be. he does like your relationship together as he likes that you two have something to relate with by having siblinhs. but he nearly freaks out when he catches glimpse of one of sams shadow friends. his eyes go wide and you're just like “oh…! my brother is so silly” and he's so confused?? as you just brush it off used to your brother??

malleus draconia

sam would be a little surprised needless to say when you happily come to him one day and excitedly tell him that you've been confessed to, confessed to by the malleus draconia…! he is quite used to hearing other students from various dorms gossip and nasty rumors, talking mostly ill about him, but he doesn't feel as if there’s a real threat or anything with him even when it comes to you… like anyone can see from a mile away that he is the epitome of a “gentle giant” with you.

like during the off chance that sam did send out his shadow… merely out of slight concern once it was literally when you were just making malleus a flower crown and placing it on his head and gently around his horns… literally nothing to worry about.

whenever malleus catches your more mischievous side come out when with your brother, he thinks it is quite amusing. you seem to take a lot from him,,, and not to mention he finds your relationship with him to be sweet. he in fact appreciates sams watchful eye over you, because it just means you're extra safe, you know?

[catacombbee]

school bus graveyard headcanons because im thinking about them

and because im projecting

just general / random headcanons

Tyler has arachnophobia and entomophobia. creepy crawlies are a HARD NO for Mr. Hernandez. Jackass bullies? No problem. Phantoms trying to eat him? Easy. Tree? Been there, done that. Fucking spiders? get it the FUCK away. mans has a visceral skin crawling reaction to even SEEING something creepy crawlie. it's one of the only things that makes him seriously panic other than yk someone being hurt

Ashlyn has autism yes this is basically canon i think. BUT Ashlyn has a lot of texture sensitivities both with clothes and with food. itchy scratchy clothes are a no. she cannot stand t-shirts keeping their tags they rub and scratch her neck and it makes her want to scream. she cuts the tags out before wearing anything. and food she can't have anything too squishy or tough or else she just loses her appetite entirely.

^^ to build on the clothing tags. everyone else in the group cuts the tags out of their jackets/hoodies and some shirts so if Ashlyn wants to borrow something she can be comfortable

Aiden is down bad for someone wearing his clothes. this can apply to any ship you want, i like him with Ashlyn Tyler or Logan (ive like never seen any talk abt Aidgan? Loden?) but regardless. whoever it is Aiden likes he gets so giddy butterflies giggly seeing someone wear his clothes. this is moreso for Ashlyn or maybe Logan because Ashlyn is so much smaller than Aiden that his sweatshirt would probably hang off her and Aiden would just abdjshfkefbns she's so cute!! this is mostly an Aidlyn hc for me but Logan would also be cute in anyone else's sweatshirt

uh if it's not clear by now im a multishipper ive said it before BUT i like Tyben a lot. they find calm and quiet in each other and bond through expressing themselves through something much healthier: music. i adore Tyben. AND because of Ben in the canvas webtoon: Tyler calls him ladybug. "Hey ladybug" "It's okay ladybug ive got you" "ladybug, you okay?"

kinda related to previous one but like blush hc. Ben does not blush. maybe a little pink on his cheeks. but his EARS. his ears get so RED when he's angry or when he's flustered. his face might be 😐 but you look at his ears and they're red you know he's flustered

ALSO everyone learned ASL for Ben so he didn't have to just use notes n stuff. Aiden was already learning but everyone else picked up on it

Logan likes compact spaces, they male him feel safe and secure. Like the tire! He feels very nice and snuggly in his tire. But also like. under beds. in closets (haha). one time they played hide and seek in Aiden's house and Logan won because he fell asleep curled up in an empty cabinet. Logan loves being little spoon because he just fits snugly in everyone's arms

it's been mentioned Tyler plays guitar, but i hc that he's also a really good artist. because he got into baseball for a scholarship he's kinda dropped both art and music, but in getting to know the others and especially Ben he gets back into playing music which leads to him drawing again. he doodles pictures of his friends and they realize what a good artist he is. that's how he realizes he actually has passion for creativity and decides he wants to be a tattoo artist.

(i was writing a tyden tattoo artist Tyler au on a reblog draft from a post @\the-killies made and like forgot abt it. someone peer pressure me if you think that sounds like snth you wanna read. it was probably over 1k words by the time i forgor)

Taylor likes mechanics (cus. the club) but she also knows some programming. this is solely because I think Taylor would like making little robots just for fun. Aiden would beg her to make him a little robot like that one companion toy robot Cosmo

in canvas sbg Logan brought a bunch of clothes for them to wear in the pictures/videos they took. so. Logan likes cosplay and renn faires. History is one of his favorite subjects (the other being science. english/literature is a very close third. he doesn't dislike math just isn't his favorite) so he has a lot of clothes from different time periods because of the renn faires he's been to.

This is a really unhinged headcanon and isn't something ive ever thought about before but thinking about Logan having outfits and stuff made me think who would be the most likely to be a furry. and no not Logan. it would be Aiden. hes rich enough to splurge on his fursuit. THIS IS A JOKE I DONT HC HIM AS A FURRY THIS IS A "WHOS MOST LIKELY TO" PLEAS

Aiden's favorite subject is history, he likes reading about wars but he also enjoys learning about other cultures and differences from how we live in modern day America. Aiden would probably study anthropology just for the fun of it. he and Logan bond over their love of history. Aiden can't remember what he had for lunch yesterday but he can tell you every little detail he knows about the Civil War start to finish, dates and names and locations and all.

this is a really weird hc but. Ashlyn is an amazing rapper. there was a karaoke night and one song someone did had a rap part coming up and they were like ahaha it's too fast for me and Ashlyn just stood up. took the mic. and fucking blew everyone's minds. and then she sat down like she didnt just rock their world

this last bit is self indulgent. assuming the phantom world things don't last forever, the kids get therapy eventually :D

^^ building on that, Ben specifically, he lives in my head rent free. i love him sm. Ben gets therapy for not just the phantom world things but everything beforehand. slowly and surely, starting with Aiden and Lily and maybe whichever person he's shipped with, he starts talking again. Some days are better than others, sometimes he gets quiet again, other times he goes for days talking as much as anyone (except aiden he yaps.) everyone almost cries when Ben is doing something and begins singing to himself because they realize he's better

im gonna do like gender & sexuality headcanons too,,, maybe later. might do silly ship hcs too cus i ship so many pairings here

[idyllic-affections]

So I JUST got this idea after reading your mist recent adoptive dad!Kaveh piece and now it WILL NOT leave my mind. You emphasized on how his child's emotions are his emotions and how he's much more empathetic when it comes to them. So naturally, as a connoisseur of all things angst, I keep thinking how Kaveh will handle it when his child has their first heartbreak! Being so emotional himself will he be able to hold up or will he cry with them? and I wonder what the rest of them will do, there's just so many possibilities

how is [name]'s first heartbreak handled?

summary. how does [name]'s platonic co-parenting family respond to their first breakup?

trigger & content warnings. gaslighting, tough breakups, abusive behavior, lots of tears, & medical malpractice (briefly and pretty non-seriously).

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort. tighnari & reader, alhtiaham & reader, adoptive dad!kaveh & reader, cyno & reader, collei & reader. 1k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of what if kaveh adopted a child?

author's thoughts. THIS IS SO TASTY THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS.... ive never been in this situation before nor do i really understand what heartbreak feels like so i just kind of went with the flow. focused mostly on what [name]'s lil family would do and how they'd all react. anyway keep sending me your adoptive dad!kaveh thoughts guys i love this kind of interaction haha <3

tighnari is furious. alhaitham is level-headed and logical as usual, but not indifferent. kaveh cries with them. cyno is livid. collei is calm, comforting.

kaveh is very sensitive to his kid's mood; i have indeed emphasized this already. he knows when something is wrong. he senses the shift in their mood almost instantly. depending on where they are, he may or may not be the first to know.

do they return to gandharva ville after they break up with their first love (for the sake of angst, let's say it's because the ex-lover in question sought to abuse and take advantage of their selflessness, but [name] was not having it, and they were gaslit upon pointing it out and ended up being called needy)? if so, tighnari will know first.

archons forbid their ex ever show up at gandharva ville for any kind of treatment. tighnari will treat them, yes, but he will make it hell. he will make it worse before making it better. medical malpractice? no, that's not what it is, silly. he's not even a licensed doctor! how can he commit malpractice if he doesn't practice medicine in the first place?

...

tighnari can think all he wants about doing such a thing, but he really wouldn't. he couldn't do something like that. he'd have a guilty conscience forever if he did. however, that does not mean he won't give [name]'s ex attitude. oh archons, he has all the attitude in the world to spare for the asshole who hurt his nibling (a/n: that's the gn term for niece or nephew).

[name] is not needy. sensitive and clingy at times, perhaps, but needy? tighnari scoffs at the idea. they're self-sufficient, if anything. the simple truth is that [name] likes affection because they were spoiled with it when they were little. the fact that their first love gaslit them in such a disgusting way makes the forest watcher's blood boil.

"[name]..." he'd sigh, heart squeezing painfully in his chest as he held them against his chest, unable to do much of anything except listen to the way they sobbed. tighnari's tail instinctively curled around their waist. "it really is not your fault. some people are just... horrible like that. ultimately, you deserve better, so this is for the best. it may not feel that way right now, but one day, it will."

do they return to kaveh and alhaitham's shared home instead? is kaveh home? if not, then alhaitham will know first. it isn't improbable. kaveh is often away on work trips, so it isn't hard to imagine that the akademiya's scribe would know first.

alhaitham hates seeing kaveh cry. he wishes he would stop expending himself to a harmful extent for the sake of others.

he also hates seeing [name] cry. why should they spend time crying over a manipulative asshole who had no capacity to understand them as a person? they shouldn't, and yet... they are.

like tighnari, alhaitham sighs. he's stroking their hair away from their face with one hand, stopping every now and then to gently pat their tears dry, even though his efforts are fruitless; they end up crying more regardless of how many times he dries their face. their head is laid in his lap. it's the least the scribe can do until kaveh gets home.

"[name], they're not worth your time. you were raised to be kind and emotionally articulate. it isn't your fault that they tried to take advantage of that."

he sighs again.

"i'm proud that you refused to let them manipulate you."

alhaitham's blatant, clearly-worded praise is rare. it soothes their soul a little.

if kaveh is home, however...

they will be sobbing in his arms within the hour. he always knows when something is wrong, and when something is wrong? he's there to support and console them. that is what any good father would do. kaveh's heart shatters on their behalf when they manage to choke out between tears that their love had so callously tried to abuse the kindness they offered to all those around them.

kaveh undoubtedly cries with them, holding their figure tightly against his.

"honey, it—" he chokes, aggressively wiping his face with one hand while the other remains secured around their waist. "it's not you, okay? it's not your fault. people, they— they like to try and take advantage of things they don't have. kind people don't take advantage of kindness. good people don't take advantage of goodness. you did well. you handled it well."

cyno will always be the last to know, regardless of what order everyone else finds out in.

cyno is also the most furious.

it's probably in [name]'s ex's best interest to flee the country. the wrath of general mahamatra cyno is an utterly horrifying thing to be the target of. he won't physically hurt them, no (although he would have to put all of his self control into practice in order to not knock all of the kid's teeth out...), but he will make it very clear that he does not want them anywhere near his nibling ever again unless it's to apologize, and even then... he had better not see them lingering too long.

the next time he sees kaveh and his kid, cyno plants a firm hand on [name]'s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze, saying, "they won't bother you again."

a slight chill runs up their spine at that. "...what did you do to them..?"

"don't worry about it."

anyway congrats to [name]'s manipulative ex! they have made enemies with four of the most influential people in sumeru <3

(and as a little bonus treat:

collei, now in her late teens, is some kind of mix between tighnari, alhaitham, and kaveh. she's not mad. she's just disappointed, really; she loves [name] like a little sibling and just doesn't understand why anyone would knowingly hurt them. she knows very well that such cruel people do exist—she was the victim of one such person, after all—but... it's so hard for her to fathom. collei is very gentle and understanding in this situation, letting them cry on her shoulder for as long as they need to. once their tears have dried, she takes them out on patrol with her.

she makes them fresh pita pockets over a fire and spends the afternoon laughing and joking around with them to help them feel better. she'll even tell one of cyno's awful jokes if it will make them smile. <3)

adoptive dad!kaveh taglist: @kaoyamamegami. send a non-anonymous ask to be added. please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[zarla-s]

well i have no clue if you answer random asks like this but hell yeah it's great seeing one of my fav artists get into omori!! how far are you into the game / have you finished it already? any thoughts on it? :0

I finished both routes about a week or so ago! I wrote up a giant post about it over here (SPOILERS). It's hard to think of how to talk about it without spoiling it, haha.

But I think it's really effective at what it's trying to do! It has a great sense of atmosphere and sound design, a lot of neat uses of color. The quirky RPG parts are a lot of fun! Silly and lighthearted and the battle system has a nice level of depth to it, not too much but enough where you have to really think about your plans when battles get tough. The horror parts were also done well, very good at creating palpable feelings of dread and unease, and I think the execution of those sequences was done really well. It would've been easy to go too hard and make it sort of a parody of itself but I think it showed just the right amount of restraint. There's a lot of layers to it in general, you can really dig into it and untangle symbolism and metaphors if you want, and there's a lot of room to interpret and explore people's emotional/mental states, which is something I also really enjoy.

I liked the characters too! Got attached to all of them, they're all charming in their own ways. It hit some very realistic and relatable emotional beats for me.

I think maybe some of the Headspace bits ran on a bit long, but that's mostly because I was really interested in the mystery of the game and wanted to solve that sooner than later (before I got spoiled), haha. But on the whole, although it would sound weird to say I enjoyed it exactly, given how mentally/emotionally draining it could be, I do think it was a good game and a definite worthwhile use of my time.

[yandere-daze]

Something I started giggling about: yandere x yandere being frowned upon due to the fact that there's two darlings out there w/o a yandere now. Multiple classes of yanderes x one darling, leaving much more than just two darlings without a yandere. "Well, shit. We didn't think this through." "We didn't even know it was possible!" "That lucky son of a gun."

gn reader

tw yandere, normalized toxic relationships, allusions to victim-blaming for drawing the attention of a yandere

Haha yeah, that´s kind of exactly what I had in mind there! Yandere x Darling relationships are so idealized in this society that people would actually call a darling with mulitple yanderes "greedy", even though they really, really don´t want that kind of attention at all.

There´s way more darlings than yanderes already so how dare they take more than one for themselves? Don´t you realize how you´re taking away a different person´s perfect future? How selfish can one be?

That´s also one of the reasons why yanderes are (if they´re discovered anyway) mostly kept in their own separate school. If there´s no darlings at this school then that means the issue of several yanderes falling for the same person lessens. You secretly being in that school is a huge irregularity! And one you better hope no one finds out about.

Yandere x Yandere relationships are frowned upon but if people found out that you´re actually a darling? ( read: normal and sane person)

You´ll be facing a hellish nightmare: Yanderes suddenly vying for your attention and doing anything to gain your favor and then other darlings admonishing you for "taking away their future partners".

It just really is tough for you all around.

Tag list:

@charming-mage @blueventss @tonightwrites @lady-of-the-sith-leia-skywalker @kio-may @heartsforseo @1aplepi @shiki-jin

[yuikomorii]

Helloo! I don’t know if you remember me but I sent you once something about Yui in LE and now, after I played some routes, I can confirm that she’s my last fav Yui. 😬

// I have a complicated relationship with LE Yui, haha. I appreciate her for being more lively than CL Yui, but she mostly gave me the ick because she was definitely one of the most annoying LE characters.

I typically don't mind characters that are represented as jerks and upright mean, since you know what to expect from them, but I really dislike when characters who are portrayed as goody-shoes, do such messed-up and morally wrong things.

When I first went through LE, I didn’t start with Ayato’s route, given that I heard from many people about how tough it is and I wasn't emotionally prepared, so I started with others. I didn't like how she talked ill about her lover behind his back (more than once) and how her foolishness caused her to disclose critical secrets to people she shouldn't have and get into more troubles than normal. Nonetheless, I didn't think she was too bad… until Ruki's route, where she convinced the Mukami brothers that Karl wasn't a bad person because he returned their lives to "redeem" himself when we all know he only used them as pawns. But, if I thought THIS was bad, Ayato's LE route came.

~Things wrong with Yui in Ayato’s LE route~

1. Yui tried to convince Ayato that despite the fact that Cordelia abused him, “she only did it because she cared about his future”. And then had the audacity to act surprised when he started feeling sick.

2. The main reason why Ayato didn’t want to trust Richter, wasn’t necessarily his trauma, but the fact Richter actually hurt Yui and, in his book someone hurting his girlfriend is unforgivable. Nevertheless, when his brothers started a scandal about Richter and all ganged up against Ayato, not even letting him express HIS point of view, Yui did nothing but stand there staring. Although, after Ayato blew up the mansion again as a result of reactive abuse, she acknowledged that his brothers attacking him like that wasn’t right, but she still didn’t say it out loud to defend him, when she knew the reason behind his actions.

3. After Reiji and Ruki became Ayato's enemies, she went to them without telling him, which made him concerned, to convey her man's sadness and loneliness. I'm sorry, but this was the dumbest plan ever, considering that it was evident they wouldn't have cared about it, and hearing such a thing made them even more eager to mock and plot his downfall. In the end, despite her good intentions, she solved nothing but made things worse, including being bitten by Reiji, which caused Ayato to lose his mind. Based on the previous events, I'm not shocked he believed she would betray him.

4. The scenes in which Ayato began acting coldly towards her were my favorite parts of his LE route. In other LE routes, after doing or saying stupid things, the disputes were resolved in the next chapter or those actions were never mentioned, but I enjoyed how she was actually humbled here. I love Yui in general, but in LE, she deserved this treatment.

5. I assumed she had learnt her lesson, given that Ayato still cared for her despite his coldness, but then she goes to the Viboras to prove herself worthy of his trust. I liked how she tried to solve something (even if she didn't), but what made her behavior even WORSE was that 1) she justified Ruki giving Ayato a hard time and joining forces with the Church to kill him, and 2) she talked ill behind her lover's back despite telling Ayato the exact opposite face to face. I understand that Ayato didn't act very king-like, but at the same time, no one truly took him seriously or believed in him. Also, idk, but she should have tried to defend him, at least this time, instead of empathizing more with someone who hurt her man—?

Credit to: dialovers-translations on Tumblr

I also find it amusing how LE is the only main DL game with no wedding at all, especially since Ayato was usually the one to marry her. I think he secretly didn't want it in LE, given that he didn’t even think of proposing. :”)

She’s definitely not a bad person though, but she kinda started acting up. I think that’s another reason why I don’t want a new game. I’m afraid they’ll ruin her even more. T-T

[daflangstlairde-art]

attached, severed (you're here, you're not), word count: 4,763

Work 2 of DFL's Whumptober 2024

Summary:

The Technodrome never wanted to let Donnie go of its own volition. Krang One quite literally had to pull him out. Something terrible lingers, not quite gone. (Alternatively, The Prison Dimension never wanted to let Leo go of its own volition. Mikey quite literally had to pull him out. Something terrible lingers, not quite gone.)

Okay, so, everything was a little woozy. Leo would be right back on his feet, like, tomorrow at most—sure, Krang One beat up pretty solid, after they’d already had a whole big time fighting, but they're tough! Mutants, huh? Couple of bruises, couple of strains, that sort of thing. Some cracks along his carapace, yeah, yeah, nothing lethal. 

But he was still bed-bound, mostly due to his fam’s worries. He didn't wanna worry them, because he will be okay, he was fine. It was really a very small price to pay for, y'know, saving the entire world. Heroes simply do this kinda thing. It's what they do. 

Anyway, point was: Leo was on pain meds and maybe kinda had just a little concussion. Just a tiny bit. 

So. He was dozing off. The lights in med bay were pleasantly low, and the beeping of the heart monitor and Donnie’s tapping around on his tech were pretty soothing. 

Leo was just focusing on resting. Feeling the way his plastron would gently rise and fall, as the air passed through his nostrils and throat and lungs and abdomen. Yeah, okay, the sensation had to pass through some obstacles, like bruised ribs or a bruised throat, but really, it was okay. Considering everything, it was okay. The bruises were already halfway faded after just a day or two of resting. Or however long it’s been. Not like he was all that conscious for it.

He still had all four limbs. He still had all three brothers alive. Earth kept spinning. Leo kept breathing in the faint smell of antiseptic and bandages. 

So, he didn't really care for a random tap-tap-beep from somewhere off to the side. Donnie was just moving around quietly, doing whatever Donnie did. It was sweet, the way he also fussed. Heck, Leo heard him shoo Mikey and Raph away to go make dinner. 

Leo’s eyes were closed, but he sorta just sensed the presence of his twin approach. Probably to fuss over him more, haha. Man was Leo lucky to have brothers who love him so much. Even when he was being a bit of a dunce. 

He loved them so much. So, so much. It was so much bigger than some bruises and sprains and whatnot. 

He swallowed and oh, he should drink some water. Tried to crack his eyes open. His eyelids stuck, and when they finally gave way to vision, they were heavy. Leo breathed. He blinked lightly, to clear up his sight. 

“Hey,” he said, voice a bit raspy, to the sight of his twin standing over him. Couldn't help but smile up at him. 

...

Donnie was... looking at him weird. A kind of... stare. Kinda like the way your sleep paralysis shadow man stares at you at 3 a.m. haha.

“Wha’s with th’ look?” Leo huffed in amusement. “Got somethin’ on m’ face?” 

Donnie stared. 

He wasn't... really saying anything. Or reacting. Ooor doing anything except keep his hands to his sides. That couldn't be good.

Leo’s mood wilted a little. 

Y'know, it’s fair, it made sense, that Donnie would be mad at him, actually. Or otherwise upset. Leo did kinda cause a whole apocalyptic event... and then almost got himself killed too... and right after he'd given Donnie the chance of a lifetime—to control a spaceship! Probably totally rained on his parade. Leo should ask him how that went later. He was sure it must've been totally badass. 

Maybe asking him now would help his mood...? It was understandable that everyone would be feeling... complicated, after the Krang stuff. But Leo wanted to make them feel happy. He wanted to help them as much as he could. 

“Hey you–” Leo started, and then blinked, trying to catch up with– okay, Donnie’s hand was at his throat. Alright. Maybe that's what he was concerned about. Him and Mikey did watch Leo get a little strangled and almost killed by the Krang-controlled-Raph, yikes. 

Leo tried to make his smile soft and reassuring as best as he could. 

“Hey, I’m alright,” he placated his twin. “I really am, I knew Raph wouldn't actually–” okay, well, he didn't know know, but he had hopes– 

–Donnie’s hands circled his throat. When Leo swallowed, he felt the tight press of it against his brother’s palms. 

“Pretty sure my throat is structurally sound, Dee, you don't have to check,” he joked, voice rasping. He just needed to drink some water. “Hey, can you–”

Donnie squeezed. 

“Okay, okay, keep your water, yeesh!” Leo reacted, sounding appropriately strangled. Except–

Except Donnie started squeezing much harder, and, okay, that was actually hurting–

“Donnie, hey–” Leo tried to speak around his constricted airway, hands lifting, placing them at Donnie’s wrists. “Bro, chill, loosen up a lit–” his words cut off entirely from the pressure, and okay, okay. Uh. 

Donnie was positively gripping his throat now, zero mercy. And sure, Leo could hold his breath for a hot minute, maybe a dozen or two, but his throat was bruised. And the sensation of the walls of his airway pressing against each other and the harsh jab of his larynx and–

Leo’s throat reflexively started spasming, and he gripped Donnie’s wrists in return, legs curling under the blanket. The pressure building in his head. 

Leo tried to jam his fingers between Donnie’s hands and his throat, the way he did with the Krang tentacle thing Raph used. To get just those precious few moments of air, to talk, because it worked with Raph, it had to work now–

But, well, Donnie isn't the Krang. Donnie is smarter. Donnie knows Leo’s affinity for blabbing and with the pressure pressure pressure at his throat, he was giving Leo zero leeway. 

Leo couldn't even yell for help. 

Instead, Leo’s jaw worked soundlessly, popped open with the building pressure, the pressure. It felt like his eyes were going to burst from his skull, and he was choking, now. Lungs spasming, the bottom of his throat convulsing and gurgling. Feet kicking uselessly, tangled under the blanket. 

Leo’s hands were weakly thumping against Donnie’s arms, desperate but never, never hard enough to actually hurt his brother. He was slamming his heels into the gurney to make noise, scrabbling for anything, he didn't have his panic button, anything to grab onto, anything to do, he can't BREATHE–

Lungs convulsing, straining, aching–

“You don't get to escape that easily, little pest,” Donnie spat–

There was drool sliding down Leo’s chin now and hot tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. And he stared up, up into Donnie’s cold eyes, and past the confusion, he tried to plead, Donnie, Donnie it's me, it's Leo, Donnie it’s okay, please just calm down, you're hurting me bro– 

—

After all the stress of the Invasion, Raph only felt a little ridiculous when he finally BUSTEDthat door open. He’d just– he heard the heart monitor! And it was way too fast! Leo could be freaking out after a– a nightmare or something! Who the heck locked the med bay door anyway?! It was usually with a sensor, automatically opening when someone passed, why did someone need to lock–!

And at once, all that sheepishness was blasted away through the sight that greeted him.

In two strides Raph was by Donnie, grappling him and wrenching him away from Leo. 

Leo, who immediately gasped for air like he hasn't breathed in a week. But it was too thin, too weak. Immediately, Raph heard him start choking and coughing and spluttering. 

Meanwhile, Donnie broke away from his stupor, still in Raph’s tight hold. He didn't waste a moment to start thrashing and snarling and biting! To the point where Raph was struggling to hold him! Especially ‘cause he didn't wanna accidentally hurt Donnie! The guy still had his entire torso BANDAGED!!! 

(Raph’s had enough of hurting his family for a lifetime.)

“Donnie!” Raph cried, “Don, chill! What the heck is goin’ on–?!” sure, the twins bickered, but all of them bickered! It was never like this! 

“Let me go you PARASITE–” Donnie sneered at him, and, what??? What?! 

Leo was still gasping and choking, and, and– a-and Raph couldn't handle this on his own, he, he–

“MIKEY!” Raph yelled, “DAD! HELP! SOMETHIN’ IS GOING ON A-AND RAPH CAN'T–” 

Donnie fighting in his arms, clawing at his arms, Leo’s awful awful desperate gasps–

—

“Hold him, Raph!” Mikey’s voice raised against his will, “I think– I think he's infected–!” his hands (hurting, trembling, swathed in bandages) hovered uselessly. 

“INFECTED–?!” Raph’s voice cracked, still wrangling the feral Donnie.

“How?” Splinter’s head snapped towards them. He was taking care of calming Leo down, and the beeping of the heart monitor was still too fast.

“From the ship!” Mikey exclaimed. “It makes the most sense!” right??? Right?! 

Leo, in the middle of coughing and gasping, turned to gape at him. 

Oh. Right. They hadn't told Leo about the ship yet. 

...MORE IMPORTANT THINGS! 

Raph yelped as Donnie finally bit down on his forearm. And Mikey practically saw the word INFECTED slam in Raph’s poor panicking brain, and he wrenched his arm away–

No, no, no– 

Don't panic Mikey, THINK. 

He yanked open a cupboard and then a second and a third–

“DAD!” Mikey yelled because his hands, they were useless right now, he couldn't do it himself–! 

“To me!” Splinter exclaimed and Mikey tossed him the syringe and the bottle. 

“YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE KRANG, WE ARE INFINITE–” 

And in a few swift moves Donnie collapsed, knocked out by the tranquilizer liquid thingie. 

Splinter drew the needle out of his neck in order to catch him, so he didn't crack his skull on the floor.

They all, collectively, sagged in relief. Heavy breathing filling the room. The loudest of which was Leo’s, labored and struggling. Raph held his arm, where a little bit of blood trickled. 

“O...kaayy,” Splinter drew out. Cleared his throat. “Good thinking, Orange. Uh. Do weee... have... a second bed maybbeeee–?” 

Raph sighed, already moving. “I’ll get it–” 

“Uh, you're bleeding and might be infected, I’ll get it,” Mikey snarked. 

“...Mike, your hands–” Raph hesitated. 

“Can handle a bed on wheels, Raph,” Mikey deadpanned. And then softened up a little, “Do us all a favor and take care of that dang wound,” 

“Yes,” Splinter agrees. “We don't want a second case of this,” 

Or third, rather, but Mikey prided himself on being emotionally intelligent, so he kept that comment buried deep, deep down, and moved along to bring out the second hospital bed. 

—

Donnie is... well. April supposed his reaction was fair enough. 

She’s the one that took charge of driving while the others took care of each other in the back, so she couldn't see that much of it. But she saw enough. 

While she was... okay, sore and sticky with sweat and tired as hell, and probably gonna bruise ugly; she was, objectively, not that bad compared to some others in their group. She was a human, sure, but she knew how to take care of herself, and Splints and Casey Two really helped. They themselves were about in the same boat as her.

The guys? Yeah, they were mutants or whatever, but man. 

Raph’s eye was jacked up, and there was a whole hole in his shell, and his left hand was shaking. Mikey’s both hands were crawling with some worrying mystic nonsense, and through his manic-delighted laughter, she'd caught something about a portal. Leo was... well. Leo, apparently, cracked a quip and dropped unconscious. April thought that spoke volumes about his current state. It ain't easy to knock these thick-headed turtles out.

Donnie’s right hand was also shaking. That was the least concerning part about him. 

His back was... eugh, Casey was taking care of it in the back while April kept her eyes on the road. But she'd seen it for a few moments, when the construct of his battle shell dissipated to make way for treatment. 

It was bad. 

So bad. It was gross. Skin pulled and stretched and torn, like the worst amalgamation of flaccid stretch marks and bloody cuts. Like prosciutto made of dead flesh. April has never seen skin be torn by being pulled apart. Like ripped fabric, but all loose and mangled and eugh. That stuff only happens in horror movies!!! 

She shuddered, clenching her jaw. Trying hard not to gag, because it would not help. Stay strong, O’Neil. 

Maybe it would've been better if Donnie acted normal. And he did! ...For a few moments. After they'd (apparently, somehow, they hadn't shared the details yet) saved Leo, and informed everyone else about this through the comms, Donnie sounded fine! He sounded just as vibrant and relieved and elated as everyone else! 

But in the few minutes it took for Sister Squad to free the Turtle Tank and drive it to Staten Island to pick ‘em up... 

Maybe it was an adrenaline crash. She turned the wheel again, waited for the garage door to open. Entered into the Lair. 

Maybe it was just a simple adrenaline crash. Everyone was visibly exhausted. Raph was swaying on his feet and Mikey was trembling and Splinter was basically limping. 

“Commander–”

“Got it,” April immediately joined Casey’s side to help him lift Leo. He needed a lot more than just emergency first aid, though he seemed stable. “Dee, wanna–” she turned to ask–

Donnie... just stared. 

He just stared. 

This. This is what was worrying her. 

Maybe it was an adrenaline crash. Maybe a shutdown. Maybe processing everything was just too much for him at the moment. 

She was trying really hard to not judge how he was just staring. 

At Leo. 

“...Ooor not, nevermind,” April said quietly. 

Maybe... maybe it was grief. Or something. They did have that whole “twin” thing after all. So. 

“Casey, uh–” April turned back to the guy as they started moving Leo to med bay. “Donnie...?” 

“Not great, but he'll live,” Casey said quietly, picking up where she trailed off. “There was leftover matter, but I couldn't tell if it was dead Donnie flesh bits or dead Krang flesh bits. Just... a lot of dead flesh,”

April shuddered. Gross. Casey, however, kept speaking like the grossness of it didn’t affect him.

“I had to wrap him quickly to stop the bleeding, but I think I’ll need to cut off more of that skin, he'll definitely need stitches in some places but hopefully no grafting–” he spoke briskly, getting onto the task of filling her in on everyone’s condition. As they brought Leo in to med bay, she prepared herself to assist Future Boy with medical treatment. 

Thank fuck for Casey Jones, huh? They always seemed to save the situ at the most critical times. Bless.

They started hooking Leo to an IV drip and a heart monitor and stabilizing him, a flurry of movement. April doing her best to follow through on whatever instructions Casey handed out—man, he was definitely experienced with this, the way he worked fast but efficient and calm. 

And to her even bigger relief, Donnie joined in. He seemed to be in a daze, disoriented maybe, but he started pulling up scanners and data on some monitors in the room. 

His hands kept... kinda lagging. His face remained... well. Well. It's like his face simply wasn't a part of the rest of his system, just slapped on top. 

But, well. He was helping them. So. 

Maybe it was okay. 

...April would just... pull him aside, once Casey’s done with him too. Donnie was definitely not in a talking mood right now, but leading him through some grounding, maybe some comfort, it might help. Get him to drink water, get his headphones on, that sort of thing. 

Oh, and then she should also do that for the rest of the fam too. 

With an action plan in mind, April O’Neil focused on the task at hand.

—

There was something wrong with Leo, Donnie was sure of it. And he was sure it happened while he was in the Prison Dimension. 

He just didn't know what. 

It was fine mere moments ago! It was fine during his altercation with Raph dearest! It was fine. 

It was not fine anymore. 

But no matter how much Donnie stared at Leo, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He didn't stop staring at Leo’s prone form in the Tank, in fact. And all he had as proof at the moment was this wriggling, invasive pulse of something's wrong, something's wrong, something is seriously wrong.

Something was so, so wrong with his brother. 

Donnie couldn't help but feel a... revulsion, looking at him. Something that made him curl his hands into fists, nails pressing in. 

He felt like if he stopped looking at Leo for even a smidge of a moment, he would... he would... he didn't know. Donnie didn't know. And he hated it. 

He felt like Leo would snap up and lunge at him. Or their brothers. He felt like Leo would die on the spot. He felt like– he didn't know. 

All he could do was stare. 

He didn't register anything else. It was only this. It was only this. 

Buried in his shell, this bone-deep conviction that something was disgustingly wrong, and the moment he took his eyes off of Leo, it would all surface with a bang. 

He wanted–

He needed–

Donnie needed to know. 

So he stared. He watched, he observed, he waited. 

When they brought Leo home, he took advantage of the moment. While O’Neil and Jones took care of the... remnants of violence on Leonardo, Donnie did one of the things he did best: he collected data. 

It was simple: just a scan whilst the other two hurriedly patched up wounds. And when that scan showed nothing out of the ordinary—a second one. And when that yielded no more results—a third one. 

And when Leo’s injuries were taken care of, when everyone’s injuries were taken care of–

(Skin flesh living snipping away from his back–

No, no, no, they would live. They would live, they would triumph.)

–Donnie simply sat and watched. 

For a bit, Raphael and Michelangelo and the rest were with him. For a bit, everyone took care of each other. Then–

Oh who cares?! 

It was waiting, it was injuries, it didn't matter. None of it mattered! It all fell into a blur. 

Until, finally, finally. 

Donatello knew. 

It was as easy as locking the medical bay’s entrance. It was as easy as a few steps to his “brother”’s body, laying on the hospital bed, bruised and cut and ruined and wrong wrong wrong. 

That was not Leonardo. 

Donatello knew. It. 

He knew it the way he knew his own heartbeat. 

That... thing, inside that body, was not his brother. 

He saw it. He saw its true nature, the way its skin wriggled. Tendrils under the surface, eating away at the insides and taking their place.

It was something so ugly, so heinous, so repugnant that it was difficult for the mind to conceptualize and therefore circled right back around to awe-inspiring. 

It was as easy as his hands around its disgusting little throat. 

It spoke to him in his brother’s voice, the wretched thing. How dare, how dare it use his brother’s voice, his smile. 

Donatello wanted to rip it apart. It was a nuisance, a parasite, a pest. Lowly and disgusting and undeserving of its breath HOW DARE IT BE FREE HOW DARE IT LIVE–

—

Donnie woke up sore and dazed. 

“Wh... huh...?” he muttered, swallowing dry, trying to blink for the sake of his vision clearing. What... did he fall asleep...? 

He lifted his arm to–

He– couldn't lift his arm. Huh. That's... odd...

Donnie blinked, everything a bit blurry at the edges. A little cotton-y. He felt a bit nauseated, to be quite frank. Not a pleasant thing to wake up to. 

There was... noise. Speech. Somebody was saying something. To him. 

“What...” he muttered again, lifting his arm– nope. Right. Right right right, he... couldn't do that. Hm. 

Did he get kidnapped by the government? 

...Mmm, no, no. There was the beeping of a heart monitor, the smell of antiseptic, yes. But he's always had sensitive senses. Beyond that, he could hear... papá’s shows? Breathing in the same room, as well. He could smell home. Raph was here. 

Raph smelled like... hm. Something sharp, tangy, sort of unstable. But warm. 

Worry, concern? Perhaps hesitation? Meh, Donnie has never been good at parsing emotions. 

“Donnie? ...You with us?” floated in his older brother’s voice.

“Mm,” Donnie affirmed, trying to look around more properly. Yes, the medical bay. Yes, Raph, alongside Mikey. 

...Hm. That's... odd. Why was Donnie strapped down on a gurney, exactly? 

“Wha...” he vocalized, staring down at the restraints. He didn't even know they had those. Maybe The Fam simply used a couple of belts. 

“Heeeyyy buuuddd, how... are you feeling?” Raph approached, with a careful smile.

“Confused, disoriented even,” Donnie stated. “Uh. Nauseated. Do I... do I have a concussion?” he tried blinking, squinting.

“...You could... say that,” Raph said, trying to be gentle in an off-putting manner.

“Boy you were infected!” Mikey delicately informed him and–

And.

Donnie’s brain blue-screened as it loaded the history of what he'd done.

Oh, dear Cain. 

What has he done? 

The way he’d stared at and spoken to Leo, contemptuous, inimical, disgusted. Murderous. 

The way his palms had wrapped around his very own twin’s already bruised throat, feeling the fragile pulse under, the pulse he’d scrambled to preserve. Head deluded by thoughts and visions of parasites, of wriggling little things under the skin, hidden and revolting and deadly. 

The way he’d squeezed–

A single tear rolled down his face, soaking into the bed sheet of the gurney. 

“BUT WE FIXED IT!” Raph was quick to exclaim, worry cranked right up at Donnie’s absolute stupor, the horror no doubt glinting off the whites of his eyes. “We, we–!”

“CJ and Barry cut it all off!!! You're totally clean, Dee!” Mikey attempted with increased cheer. 

But all Donnie could think was no, no, no, how could he do this? Is this how Raph felt? How could this happen? 

What had he done? 

“Donnie, hey, hey, it's okay, you gotta breathe,” Raph reached out a hand, forehead scrunched in anxiety. Donnie flinched back, but it's like it wasn't him. He could hear the rapid alarm of his electrocardiogram, but he could not connect it to the existence of the heart beating within his ribcage.

It's like he wasn't himself. 

How could he possibly recognize if he's not himself? 

His older brother was talking to him, but it was all static, it was all ringing. It was sinking into a squirming-squelching-living nightmare, repugnant and alive and all-encompassing oh unholy Lorecraft– 

Shouts, a clattering– 

Red and green turned away from his face, and, and– 

Replaced by green and red and blue, blue, blue. Standing over him, smiling. Green skin and red markings, white eyes and red bruises, blue mask, blue bruises, colors of the flesh of the flesh the flesh– 

“Heeyyy bro,” a jarring moment, a smile, how could he be smiling? “Wanna help me calm down real quick? I’m feeling a lil’ panicky here,” 

Something inside Donnie reached out, fell into line at that. His hand shot up–

–no, it didn't, they were restrained, the hands he'd used to– 

Lighter green. Unlatching the restraints.

“Leo–!”

“You said he's fine now, so chiiilll it's fiiine! Donnie would never hurt me,” 

Donatello never would, but how could he possibly be sure he’s Donatello? 

Hand freed. He jerks them back close to himself, pushed himself away. 

“Hey, hey, naw don't do that, or I might get sad,” pouting, silly, like it's all fine and not horror-inducing. “Mikey, could you get a glass of water, and Raph– yeah the blanket–” 

“His headphones too–?”

“Oh great idea, yeah, totes– Dee? Donnie-dee? Wanna show me how to breathe, huh? I can't get my numbers straight,” Leo’s eyes back to him, smiling, smiling. 

The image of his beatific smile as Donnie’s hands strangled him to death– 

The way he’d smiled at Raph as he was being STRANGLED TO DEATH–

Why was he SMILING?! 

There was something wrapped around Donnie’s lungs and squeezing, and his brain screamed KRANG KRANG KRANG–

“Donnie, focus on me,” Leo snapped his fingers in front of his face and Donnie wanted to bite him, Leo knew how much that irritated him–!

Wait, why the flippity pancakes was Leo OUT OF BED?! 

The panic, jittery and sharp and ringing, was suddenly replaced by anger, jittery and sharp and ringing.

“Why,” Donnie hissed, and his suddenly narrowed focus picked up on Mikey stiffening several feet away. Leo, smiling, calm, subtly moved to cover it. 

“Why wh–”

“WHY ARE YOU OUT OF BED.” Donnie seethed, high-pitched, hands on Leo’s shoulders. Shaking him a bit. Leo was smiling and it felt surreal.

Leo was smiling the entire time Donnie was strangling him to death. 

Leonardo, his beaten and bruised brother, his brother wrapped in bandages– the idiot, he must've torn something getting up to reach Donnie because he was bleeding through said bandages–

Leonardo, his brother who’d dished out serene reassurances before throwing himself into a death trap– 

–was just smiling at him. 

God, he hadn’t even fought back. 

He didn't even fight back. 

“Why didn't you fight back?” Donnie’s voice broke over whatever Leo had been saying. “Why, why did you– I-I w-was going to kill you–” horror, oh horror. 

“What?” Leo blinked, and he turned as Raph walked back in, yet Donnie had mind only for one thing and it was his stupid, stupid twin. 

“Why didn't you fight back? Leo, why didn't you do anything?” Donnie spoke in desperation. He needed to know. It would ruin him, but he needed it. Just like the stream of information from Technodrome, the knowledge was cursed and horrifying, and yet he needed to know. “I could have killed you are you listening to me? Leonardo you could have DIED–” 

“Hey,” Leo, bleeding, supposed to be resting, smiling, was putting a weighted blanket over Donnie’s shoulders. He offered Donnie his noise-canceling headphones, and Mikey was finally handing over that water he’s been holding for minutes now, hands shaking. Leo was looking him in the eyes, and saying “It wasn't your fault, bro,”

Donnie stared back at him, shaking with the shock of– of– frankly? Of everything. There was a parasite in his brain, apparently, right after the Invasion, so it was all crashing on top of him in the worst way possible. 

“Took you guys long enough,” Leo had said, had smiled and laughed and hugged them, like it was fine, but it wasn't, it. Wasn’t. 

There was absolutely no conceivable way for Leo to have known Mikey could rip apart reality itself. There was no conceivable way he’d known there was any way out. 

And the Krang were hateful, hateful things. Donnie would know. 

So Donnie stared at his twin, smiling and saying something to Mikey that made their little brother crack a laugh. Donnie held a glass of water in one hand and noise-canceling headphones in the other, given to him by his twin Leonardo, Leonardo whom he’d strangled with those very hands. 

“I’m so sorry,” broke out of Donnie, crushed and angry and disbelieving and sad and loving and grieving and ecstatic. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry–”

“It’s okay,” Leo said, easy, “Hey, it’s okay, it wasn't your fault,” he opened his arms and Donnie put the items aside to drag Leo into a hug. Leo oofed and laughed, and a tension dropped from Raph’s shoulders as well. 

“You're okay Marsh-Tello,” Leo said, teasing and lighthearted, rubbing the back of Donnie’s neck instead of his bandaged shell. “It wasn't your fault, mkay? It was those big dumb aliens, and we got it all off. It wasn't your fault,” he reassured Donnie, Donnie, as if Leo wasn't the hurt one, as if Leo wasn't the one who’d nearly died several times. What a moron, apparently caring for others even at the end of his own rope, what a dummy. 

Donnie just shook his head, holding the idiot closer. He reminded himself to not hold him too closely, because Leo was still littered with injuries, including cracks in his shell and his inner ribs. And now Donnie knew, if he wasn't careful, Leo wouldn't even eek in pain about it. 

His twin. His idiot. Gah.

Donnie squeezed his eyes shut and held him close. 

[velnna]

Hiii!! I have a question I'd be thrilled if you answered. You make such detailed pieces so often! And you're making a webtoon on the side of it all. Is being an artist your main job? If so, how can I follow in your footsteps

Being an artist is my main job, yes! I've only been doing it proper full time for a year so I'm still trying to find the best balance in the content I create.

I've always been fast at art (mostly because I get bored of a piece easily so if it takes me more than 2h I lose the will to finish haha), and got faster when I started working with webtoon in 2019/20. For a long time that was my main focus, but I also use side illustrations and comics to chill so I never *only* worked on the webtoon itself. I'd always have 2-3h in a day for other random doodles

Currently I barely work on the webtoon, sadly, and it's been like that for a long time since I hit an insurmountable sort of writing block with it. I'm just now trying to work around it but it's tough. Besides, patreon has been my main source of income for a while, and that's independent from webtoon, so I've been spending a lot more time working on content that's more focused on that (different comics/stories and fandom stuff I guess)

As for "how", it's a trickier question. I wouldn't recommend anyone do things like I do because it's not a one-size-fits-all and can be unhealthy sometimes. I'm very obsessive with work and creative projects, so I can easily prioritise that over almost everything else, and once I have an idea I like I tend to not stop until I see it through.

I will say though generally a good mix of passion and discipline should give you some progress. Evolving in art (or anything) generally takes some sacrifice and structure, but at the same time needs to be a process sustained in passion, in my opinion. It's unfortunate not very concrete advice but I'd just say find the stuff that REALLY makes you itch to pick up the pencil, then find a way to commit a decent amount of thought and time to it without losing the spark

[artycomicfangirl]

I guess I wanted to experiment some more until I find the right design for Daisy's Mum? so here's some random quick sketches and what-ifs. Excuse my messy handwriting haha. Part 1, cause I have more!

• I reckon that face wise, Daisy shares a lot more resemblance to her mother. I took inspiration for this from the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie, as Daisy’s mother is literally played by the same actress in the flashback. But with much darker hair.

• But in terms with the flair and colouring, Daisy’s traits from her father shines much more!

• Usually I did want for the Queen to have Middle Eastern/Persian inspiration. But i kind of given her the name Laelia, because it is a flower of Mexican origin. I know it’s too much of a reach. But sort of like Sarasaland’s Portuguese/Spanish influence?

• I’m thinking so far that Laelia is from a Kingdom that prides itself in artifacts? Knowledge? Gems? Honestly not sure yet! But I know that she really adores nature and studies subjects relating to nature.

• As a Princess, she wears mostly Mauves and blues, to symbolize a blue orchid. And possibly the colours or her kingdom. After she marries into the Royal Sarasaland Family, she starts to wear more brighter and warm colours, showing how she truly loves and embraces the land’s culture.

• The King, Richard (since the fans seem to have given him this name, so I’ll refer to him as that!) Absolutely adores the Queen. From their first meeting, he was already quite smitten with her! But she wasn’t focused on love at first, and was studying at the time. Every simply glance she gives him. Every time she politely calls his name. It reduces the tough and stern King into a flustered mess.

It was even more prominent even before they were crowned! He tried to impress her on some occasions haha.

He’ll be afraid of silly things. But if it’s right in front of her, he’ll puff up his chest and brave it out…most of the time!

Is it cheesy for him to say that her eyes shine like the most beautiful of gemstones? Well, according to his Royal friends they might!

• It’s also why that if the Queen was ‘whisked away forever’, Richard becomes absolutely devastated. Heartbroken. The Queen brought warmth into his life, and it was taken away from him. But knowing that he still has his Daughter, is enough to keep him going.

But! I wonder if there’s a possibility of her returning somehow?