#mostly posting this cause I was reminded of an artist that just kinda blocked me out of nowhere | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aahsoka · 4 years

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So having been on tiktok for a bit I wanna talk a little about it.

What I like

It’s actually rather entertaining to scroll through up to 30 second videos one after the other. Sometimes the humor falls flat or it’s not your taste, but the algorithim is quite good at recommending the kind of content you will like.

I joined right when there was a big trend going around about sharing your culture, and soon after a Blackout trend where non-Black creators stopped posting for a day & spread/supported videos by Black creators. So I ended up with a fairly diverse fyp or “for you page”. It also quickly gathered that I am bisexual, so I get plenty of lgbt+ content. There’s some art mixed in there, some cosplay, some historical costuming/seamstresses, lots of avatar jokes lately, musical theatre content, fashion, girls in bikinis on rollerskates (in outer space), commentary on political issues, body positivity, all the kinds of stuff I like. To get a feed that caters to your interests you just have to watch & like videos you’re interested in & eventually it gets a feel for what you’ll watch and what you won’t.

Theres a trend where people say which ‘side’ of tiktok they’re on and I get ‘science side of tumblr’ flashbacks but I’ve mostly avoided the “straight” and conservative sides of tiktok. I would be considered a part of “woke”, “alt” (as in alternative) and lgbt+ tiktok (there are separate ones for each letter of the acronym). Possibly also “theatre” and “cosplay” tiktok. These categories are nebulous and you’re usually part of multiple communities; its just as arbitray as ‘science side of tumblr’ was.

The format reminds me of snapchat a little, and I love to talk to myself on video & post dumb thirst traps for my friends (none of which I’m attracted to so idk what my goal is there) and make stupid jokes. So this app is kinda perfect for my attention seeking side & hyperactive tendencies. Its very easy to consume on a short attention span, though not as easy as vine was.

Being in quarantine, its a way for a lot of people to engage in hobbies that involve community. Cosplay is pretty popular, as its a fun way to show off a costume & dress up & have fun without having to attend a convention. I enjoy the way lip synced audios can be used to emulate the character someone is dressed as; that’s something you couldn’t really do unless you were really good at impressions. Its a nice succinct way to show the process of creating a cosplay as well.

Those who enjoy theatre, but cannot perform in shows at this time, are able to create mini-monologues & sketches as well as sing parts of their favorite songs. Its an avenue through which to perform without putting anyone at risk of the virus. It’s also an easy way to show off your talents without having to go through the audition process & actually get cast in a show as a prominent enough role that someone will notice it.

It’s a convenient format for discourse and educational videos. Nice, short, easily digestible tidbits that stay in your mind. This extremely catchy song, for example: “Black neighborhoods are overpoliced, so of course they have higher rates of crime, and white perpetrators are undercharged, so of course they have lower rates of crime. And all of those stupid stats you keep using are operating off a small sample size. So, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up”.

As well as other videos where people take the time to explain historical events, satirize racist arguments to demonstrate why they are wrong, talk about prevalent tropes in movies, teach a few signs in ASL, share facts about their culture, etc, etc. I have found there are quite a lot of people there from unique and fairly unknown cultures and backgrounds- and this is a place where they’re able to share their culture & existence with people all over the world. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Their videos are doing far more for diverse representation than any other platform, I’d argue, as everyone is extremely visible on the app. (‘Their’ as in the creators, not the app itself).

I also have enjoyed coming across new artists on the app. It’s really fun to watch the process they go through, as most art videos deal with the whole creation of a piece. It’s inspiring. I have also come across a painter who’s work I’m in love with, and a woman who makes and sells the CUTEST ceramic mugs, and I need to purchase some stuff from them both.

Now onto the bad:

Unfortunately, the app doesn’t have much in the way of a filtering or warning system. I talked about that tiktok of the kids coming across human remains? That was just on people’s fyp. Just popped up. No warning. No reason for it to still be up. Traumatizing.

You can click on a video and say ‘not interested’ (I do this to literally every video I get where some girl is thirsting after kylo ren 🤮..... like I want the star wars videos just not THOSE videos). However, it doesn’t seem to know exactly why you weren’t interested, because I still get those videos from time to time. There’s no content filter where I can blacklist the kylo ren or any other hashtag.

There’s some very shitty content. There are racist conservatives. Misogynistic teen white boys. Really weird thirst traps. Videos where people lip sync to something with a straight face and tag it with #acting. Harmful body image trends. I thankfully stay very clear of this, but this kind of content makes me worry for the minors on the app. The one’s who don’t have enough of a concept of self yet to realize they don’t need to be able to do the newest pointless beauty trend to be beautiful, to realize it’s ok for them to be gay, to realize how predatory some adults can be, etc etc.

It is extremely easy to come across minors on the app who don’t look like teens. One time I went to a girl’s page and it said she was FIFTEEN. I’m usually good at guessing ages but something about this app messes that up. I wish there was a way to separate people under 18 and adults. Where I don’t have minor’s thirst traps popping up on my fyp. Where pedophiles don’t get a chance to curate that fyp intentionally. If anyone reading this has kids, I highly recommend they make their tiktok private or only viewable to friends.

Just like any site, there are plenty of bigots. Lots of racist comments. Plenty of transphobia. Any hatred you’ve seen elsewhere, of course it exists on tiktok. I have actually zero clue if you can report people & if it works. Most people seem to send a video commentary to their haters or duet a video of a racist pointing out their racism. I’ve heard of creators blocking people, however. I remember a tiktok of a Black woman who’s video somehow went fairly viral in Poland and now she gets a lot of racist comments from this large group of random racisf Polish followers she has and its extremely time consuming to block them all, as there’s no mass block feature.

The rumors about what works with the algorithm and doesn’t abound. I’ve heard well lit videos get more views. Many people suspect they have been shadowbanned for speaking out about current events. TikTok will remove the audio from videos sometimes if they deem it controversial enough. Most of us know they were criticized recently for intentionally keeping Black creator’s videos from being seen (a catalyst for the Blackout, actually). Or you may also recall when it was criticized for widely removing lgbt+ content. Those creators are fighting to be seen the same amount as straight cis white creators are allowed to be seen with no effort.

The effects some trends could have on teen girls. So many of them are already so uncomfortable in their own skin simply because of societal standards, but the absolutely meaningless challenges people come up with on tiktok make it so much worse. One trend was based around whether your finger touched your lips when you put it in your nose. Or if you could get your clasped hands around the back of your legs and over your butt (if they get passed, you have a flat ass, if they get stuck, its big). These completely arbitrary signifiers of the things you need to have in order to be pretty, are far more ridiculous that anything I have seen yet in my life. I worry about little girls taking these ideas to heart. There is a very kind body positive community on the app & I hope more people can find that.

There’s also that thing where they steal your data. Like most apps. But apparently they got a lot more invasive than usual, so I would look into it before making an account; if you want to do that.

I think the apps users can be great & its a pretty intuitive set up. It certainly deserves its popularity solely as a creative form of social media. That being said, its owners are so so insidious & do the worst things. Just like all other social media, its controlled by the worst kind of people. Who can never figure out how to effectively get rid of nazis or keep kids safe from adult content.

These are my less serious gripes with the app:

1) Lip syncing

When people lip sync and don’t do any kind of skit, joke, etc, just look as if they’re saying what someone else said; I hate that. I have to go back and find the original tiktok so I can like it instead. You literally did nothing interesting by ripping off someones audio and moving your lips along to it. So many people on this app are creative and so many others lack any semblance of creativity.

Also people are too easily impressed by lip syncing to kinda-fast songs. I lip synced to like....10 seconds of the devil went down to georgia and two people praised my lip syncing abilities. Like, I can also sing and talk fast, out loud, isn’t that more impressive? more skillful? The fiddle playing in that song is impressive, not the fact I can lip sync ‘the devil went down to georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal, he was in a bind, cause he was way behind.’ Have you ever seen someone play Johnny’s fiddle solo????? It’s insane!!!

Rather than see someone lip sync to the verse in Stressed Out 2x faster than normal (which is, extremely simple and the song was overplayed and ingrained into our collective consciousness) and go WOW what about someone.....doing the verse out loud. You can litterally just mouth random words and look like you’re saying the right ones. It’s driving me crazy lmao. I’m set to become a God of tiktok because I have a repertoire of fast songs and rap verses memorized. It’s not even an uncommon skill to speak or sing quickly, people literally make rap music for a living! Listen to it maybe.

2) “Acting”

I am begging you to stop making me sit through those horrible POVs. I cannot take another girl not quite fake crying towards the camera as she lip syncs the words from a song that apply to the random situation she decided she was in. I cannot take another boy who thinks its sexy to stare into a camera and smirk in every single situation he creates.

Back to lip syncing, making facial expressions along to words isn’t really acting. Try saying the words out loud perhaps? The inflection you use with your lines is a pretty big part of acting. Like you can lip sync all you want, just stop tagging it with #acting.

3) Comedic timing, or lack thereof

You don’t need the entire intro to sit there looking at the camera waiting until the first line starts and you can lip sync to the part that’s the joke. You could cut off at least 15 seconds. Brevity is the soul of wit.

When your joke involves both reading text on screen and listening to the song for the punchline, if it isn’t done prefectly, its so difficult to follow. I can’t read a paragraph in 5 seconds. Paraphrase.

4) self deprecating artist audio

the audio thats like ‘this wont get views’ ‘I suck’ ‘you probably won’t see this anyway’ LOVE YOURSELF

It sucks when people dont enagage with your art but it sucks worse when your value in yourself and you art is based solely on receiving that validation. Please find a healthy medium.

Also you’re asking for pity, and you don’t want that. You want people who genuinely love your art for what it is.

5) editing videos is really hard how do you make such cool & smooth transitions????

please help me I don’t understand

Finally

here’s my account if you’re interested

#this long ass opinion article no one asked for #tiktok #social media #jordan talks #long post /

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fics-for-my-heart · 6 years

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Art and Drama

Summary: Everyone can see it but the two of you.

Word count: 4512

Warning: Swearing, awful writing

A/N: This kinda sicks. Half way through I had some awful writers block but I still wanted to post it. This was for the Teacher prompt/idea thing I posted (here). Hope your guys enjoy.

Masterlist

“Class, don’t forget that we have the field trip to Road Art tomorrow. Please remember to bring a lunch. I’ll send reminder messages tonight. Does anyone have any questions?” You scanned the faces of the class in front of you waiting for a hand. “Alright. Well, work on your projects till class is over. We will meet out front at first bell tomorrow.”

All the Arts and Humanities teachers had decided on a field trip to a traveling art exhibit that was stopping at the local University. There would be different art pieces, instruments, and even plays. It tackled all the subjects of the arts so it was perfect.

Before you could walk away a hand went up, it was Ginger, one of the sophomores in your class . “Ms. Y/L/N. I have a question, but it’s not about the field trip.”

“What’s up?” You asked, walking over and sitting beside her while everyone else started on their projects.

She looked at Niki, another sophomore in the class before looking at you and giggling. “Have you seen Mr. Holland?”

“Ginge, I work with the man, of course I’ve seen him.” You rolled your eyes, you knew where this was going, all the girls loved him, mostly for the fact that he was cute and from England.

Mr. Tom Holland was the drama teacher. Being from the same department, the two of you saw a lot of each other, plus you both joined the staff three years ago. The two of you shared a few late nights here and there setting up different events or going over test and assessments. He alway wrote the best plays, and you always helped with the set design. He was cute, but that wasn’t something you were going to share with a group of gossiping teens.

“Is he single?” The girl snickered, her eyes wide waiting for your answer.

“I’m not sure.” That was a lie, he had expressed many times before that he was single, but again, not something they needed to know.

Ginger sighed. “Ya know, Ms. Y/LN, the two of you would be cute together.”

“Alright. That’s the end of this conversation. Get to work on your projects.” You shook your head laughing at the girls. They weren’t the first ones to say that. Some of the staff were worse. Like Addy Russell, your best friend, and choir director. The first time you and Tom had stayed late together you didn’t think you would hear the end of it.

The rest of the day was quiet. It was almost the end of the quarter so you let the kids work on their projects or other work. At the end of the day, you stood in your doorway to monitor the halls. Some students would come in and use the art class for an hour or so, or run up and ask you questions so the door was the prime spot for everything.

“Good afternoon Ms. Y/LN.” A familiar voice spoke behind you, causing your mouth to spread into a smile against your will.

“Good afternoon Mr. Holland.” You turned, facing the brown eyes man.

He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and a smile matching yours on his face. “How was your day?”

“Oh, ya know. Lots of paint, oil pastels, makers. Same old same old. How was your day?” You rested your head on the doorframe looking at him as he watched the kids laugh and chatter down the hall.

“Dramatic.” He laughed at his joke while you rolled your eyes. “Actually, I’m working on a new play.” His eyes locked with yours, that same brightness to them he always got when he was excited about a new project. “Want to read over it? You’re the only one I trust to work on the set and backdrop.”

Just as you smiled, a giggling group of girls walked by, Ginger in the middle very unsubtly winking at you. “I’d love too.”

“Sick. Well, I’m going to go make you a copy of it. I’ll stick it in your mailbox.” He pushed himself off the wall, walking backwards towards his door a few down from yours. “See you tomorrow Ms. Y/LN.”

“Have a good evening Mr. Holland.” You waved, watching the last of the kids empty out the hall before turning into your room.

“Alright guys, when we get there the coordinator is going to talk to us and answer some questions, then you are free to roam around the building and visit the exhibits. Anyone seen in an area they aren’t supposed to be in will receive a write up. Am I clear?”

“Yes Mrs. Russell.”

“Good. Now go line up with your teachers for roll and we will be on our way.” She hopped off the bench she was on as the kids started walking around.

After ensuring everyone from your class was present you lead them to the bus and counted them again and found a seat.

The seat beside you dipped. “Good morning Y/N.” It was Harrison, the Gym teacher and Tom’s best friend since they were in schools.

“Good morning, Haz.” He wasn’t big on having the kids call him by his last name so they all called him Mr. H. “How are you?”

“I’m swell. I’m glad you guys asked me to chaperone because Tom hasn't stopped talking about this and I really wanted to go.”

As of on cue, Tom bounced onto the bus. He instantly found the two of you but narrowed his eyes at Harrison as he made his way down the aisle. “I thought we would sit together?” His question was directed at you, his bottom lip out a bit.

Harrison draped his arm over you. “Sorry mate. I was here first.”

“You guys suck.” He whispered before making his way to the back of the bus. Moments later both your phones buzzed.

Tommy Boiii in Work Hoes: Haz u suk m8

Hazzy Boiii: slow feet loose ya seat

You: now now, are we in middle school?

Tommy Boiii: High school actually

You: l8r h8r

When the buses arrived at the Universities Art Center, you and Abby lead the group to the theater where the coordinator would be speaking. Once all the kids were seated, you scanned the rows for an empty seat only to be met with Tom standing in the back row looking right at you. He nodded his head and pointed at the seat beside him.

“I was going to yell your name if you didn’t look at me.” He laughed when you sat down.

“Oh shut it.” He opened his mouth to speak at the same time the coordinator started and you stuck a head up. “No. Really. Shh. I want to hear what he says.”

He introduced himself as Mel Robertson. He gave a short introduction on himself, and about each of the exhibits set up throughout the building. The painting and music exhibits held pieces from from different time periods and two different plays would be performed on the two stages with a chance for everyone to see them. After the short intro, he opened the floor up for questions.

“How long did it take to set this up?”

“About two years. There was a lot of rehearsals for the plays, and having to contact the right people in order to obtain permission to show the art pieces. Collecting the instruments was probably the most difficult part. But, it was well worth it because it’s been three years now and we always have amazing turn out.”

“Are any of the art pieces originals?”

“Sadly, no. It was too expensive insurance wise to be able to get originals. But, it was also safer to present copies because of the risks of damage while traveling. However, the copies we have are all professionally done and are almost indistinguishable from the originals.”

The questions rolled in for a few more minutes till Mr. Robertson looked at his watch. “Well, I believe it’s time to get started. I’ll let your teacher take it from here. If any of you have any questions feel free to ask.” He waved as he and Abby traded places.

“You guys are free to roam. All I ask is that you please be respectful and that you stay in the building. There’s a cafe in the basement if you guys want to eat, and we will make an announcement over the intercom when it's time to leave. Now, off you go, have fun.” All at once, everyone was up and making their way to the exits.

“So.” Tom started, taking a map from one of the people by the door. “Thanks. Where to first?”

You looked over his shoulder, pointing at the area for the paintings. “Obviously.”

——

In all honestly, you were surprised in the best way at the variety of artists and art they had displayed. Everything from pencil sketches to textiles, from Van Gogh to Raphael. The coordinator was serious about the pieces looking authentic.

“Wow.” The moment you walked in you were drawn to a Van Gogh piece. “This is incredible.”

“This is Van Gogh, right?” Tom asked, stepping beside you and examining the piece.

You pointed at the small label at the bottom. “Yeah. It’s “The garden of the asylum at Saint-Rémy”. It’s one of my favorite pieces he did.”

“Tell me about it.”

Your eyes scanned the colors as you spoke. “He painted it in 1889 while he was receiving treatment at the asylum. He did a lot of paintings there, all centered around the grounds of the building. The colors are my favorite part.” You point at the top of the tree. “The way he captures the different shadows from the light. This attention to the colors and the amount of detail takes my breath away.”

“It is beautiful.” Tom was almost whispering and in the room full of chatty teens it was almost inaudible. He moved, brushing his elbow against your arm as he looked at another painting. “Woah. Can you tell me about this one?”

You pulled your eyes away and followed his finger to another painting that was just as amazing as the first. “Oh my. That’s a Frida Kahlo piece called “The Broken Column”. She painted it in 1944 after she had surgery on her back. The white around her is said to represent the metallic corset she had to wear, and the column that’s broken is her back.” You were silent a moment, just taking in the painting. “The way you can almost feel the pain just by looking at her eyes. It's incredible how much emotion she can have someone feeling. A lot of her art was self-portrait. Another piece she did called “The Nurse and I” depicted her as a infant being breastfed by a wet nurse. It’s a very interesting piece, I’ll have to show it to you sometime.” You glanced over at him, he was already looking at you, a smile on his face. “What?”

He blinked, shaking his head while laughing to himself. “Nothing. I just enjoy hearing about art from you.” He extended his elbow. “Tell me more.”

He escorted you through all the exhibit. There was a fuzzy feeling in your stomach as he asked you about different pieces, and it was clear that he really was interested in knowing about them. It was nice to be able to talk as much as you wanted about the difference between the brush strokes, or the way the colors were mixed a certain way to achieve the color.

Tom loved hearing you talk about the art. He loved your voice if he was being honest with himself, and he loved how excited you were when you’d talk about your favorite painting or sketch. The way your eyes would light up, and how you would squeeze his arm slightly when you would get super excited about a fact. He wanted to keep you talking about art as long as he could, so he was a bit sad when you reached the last painting.

The two of you joined Harrison and Abby lunch in the cafe, then toured around the musical instruments before heading to watch the plays. This was what Tom was excited about. He loved everything about theater.

“It’s the way you get transported into the story of a well written play. And how you can be another person if you’re performing in one.” His eyes were bright in the shadows from the lights on stage. Excitement filling him much as it had filled you earlier.

Watching his face change throughout the plays was almost as entertaining as the plays themselves. Much like when he was watching on of his own plays come to life, his face was a mixture of emotions. Brows knitted together or up in his hair. Lips either between his teeth or stretched into a smile. His foot tapped along to the beat of musical numbers while his fingers tapped across his leg. Watching him was like watching a one man play.

“What?” He asked when he glanced over at you. It was much like earlier when he was watching you.

“Nothing, I just enjoy watching you watch plays.” You shrugged, poking him with your elbow and watching a slight pink cross his cheeks.

When the second play was over. Abby’s voice filled the building announcing it was time to go. You and Tom walked together and he had his class meet beside yours, determined to sit beside you this time. But the time the busses arrived back at the school it was time for last class so everyone went their separate ways. For you, that meant a planning period so you stopped by your mailbox and headed to your room, planning to enjoy the next hour alone.

Your mail was mostly announcements and flyers for different school events, but there was something in a Manila envelope marked “-T”. When you opened it you remembered Tom had given you a copy of his script. Sitting back in your chair you started reading. It was the story of a struggling artist who was constantly being belittled by the people around him. But, he never stopped, even while being broke, he never stopped painting. You were instantly pulled into the story, so into it that you missed the sound of the bell for the end of the day. It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat at your door that you looked up.

“Alright there, love?” Tom asked, his smile widening when he noticed his scripted in your hands.

You held it up as he made his way to your desk. “Tom, this is amazing.”

“I knew you’d like it. I’m thinking of trying to get it going soon, have it be the final play of the year.”

“I’ve already got tons of ideas for backdrops. I’ll sketch some up this weekend and we can meet up Monday after school?” You face was bright, ideas buzzing around your mind of different ways to set the scenes.

“I’d love that.” He tapped his knuckles on your desk before turning on his toes. “Have a lovely weekend Y/N”

“You too, Tom!”

—-

When you returned to school Monday, you were almost too excited. You had spent the entire weekend designing different ideas for buildings, different paintings for the main character to do, and different odds and ends to help set the mood. Tom knew you well, he had scribbled some of his own ideas and visions in the margins which is always a nice help.

The final bell rang and you were literally bouncing around you room. You grabbed your art binder, scribbled out a quick sorry note for the door, and weaved your way through the crowd of kids to Tom’s room. He was still at his desk when you entered, shutting the door behind you. He looked up at the sound of the hall muffling, a smile taking over his face as he saw it was you, with an equally big smile.

“Well good afternoon Y/N. How are you?” He set his pen down and watched you walk to his desk.

“I’m fantastic. I finished the script and went right to work and I think you’ll like some of these ideas.” You handed him the binder, suddenly a bit nervous.

He stood, making his way to the long table in the front of the room. Slowly he opened the binder and spread out the papers. He brought his hand up to play with his bottom lip as he examined them individually, eyes scanning every detail. Brows pinched in concentration. Your heart fluttered at how beautiful he was.

“Y/N.” His voice snapped you out of your trance. “These are incredible. You always manage to get things how they were in my head.” You slowly joined him at the table, watching as he looked back at the sketches. “Seriously, these are amazing. When do you want to start working on them?” Excitement laced his voice as his bright boyish face looked at you.

“Well, this week is finals and next week is the start of break. I don’t have any plans of you want to start then?” Seeing how excited he was brought the excitement back for you too.

“You got yourself a date.”

The week blew by. Grading finished projects and submitting final grades. Between class visits with Tom to talk about a tweak here or there on a design. Before you could blink, you were walking into the empty building to start prep. The only sound in the hall was your shoes squeaking as you made your way to Tom’s room only to find he was there.

You: Where are you?

You: I swear if you forgot about our plans.

Just as you were about to call him music started from the auditorium. As if the school wasn’t already spooky, muffled music made it worse. Slowly, you made your way to the end of the hall, stepping quietly inside. Your breath caught. Tom was on stage, a rather tight tank and sweats on. He was dancing. Spinning and leaping to the rise and fall of the music. It was beautiful and hypnotic. When the music ended, he landed the final leap, chest heaving and forehead shiny with sweat.

“Bravo!” You clapped, causing him to nearly fall over.

“Shit. Oh my god you scare me.” He bent with his hands on his knees as you made your way to the stage.

Looking up at him, you smiled. “That really was amazing.”

His cheeks were flushed as he smiled. “Thanks. Now, get up here and let's get to work.”

The two of you spent the day going over the script and setting up placement for people, props, and set pieces. It was the most important first step and Tom set each scene on its own paper. Every move was planned first, then as the set pieces were introduced he would make adjustments. It was fun. You represent each character, letting Tom move you where he wanted you to go. His hands were nice, but there was work to do so you pushed the thought out of your head.

As the week went on, the two of you made your way through the script, getting a rough idea for placement. There were also lots of trips to hardware stores and local restore stores to get things to help with preparing the set. Spending so much time together was nice. Neither of you really knew just how much you liked each other.

When school started back up Tom got to work setting up auditions while you recruited students to help with set. Most work was limited to after school, but where were a few times Tom would be so excited about an idea that he would bust into your classroom to tell you. Of course, by this time everyone knew you were helping with the play more than before. Tom was coming directly to you with ideas. The two of you sat close in the cafeteria running through things.

Set building began, and so did play practice. By this time, you and Tom were with each other every day. Your feelings were growing and growing. Tom would wipe some paint off your face and your knees would go weak. He wasn’t much better, the paint on your face made you even cuter. You were both so blinded by nerves that you couldn’t see that you liked each other. But everyone else could tell.

“Ms. Y/LN.” Gingers hand was in the air, fingers wiggling. “Are you and Mr. Holland dating yet?”

“Ginger.” Your face warmed as the class giggled. “Why would you ask that?”

“Please. He clearly likes you! My brother is in his class and apparently you’re all he talks about!”

You shook your head. “I’m not discussing this. We aren’t dating.” You kept your face stern, ending the conversation, even though your insides had turned to mush.

It was true though. Tom had started mentioning you a lot more in class. Especially when a new idea would pop into his head. His first words would be “I need to tell Y/N!” And out the door he would go. The class didn’t mind, they enjoyed watching everything play out. But, with you both unknowing of the other feelings, it was making things go agonizingly slow.

“You know, you and Tom are the talk of the school.” Abby mentioned one weekend while setting up a movie. “All the kids have a ship name for you. And pretty sure I’ve heard something about a running poll on when you guys will finally kiss.”

“Oh please.” You body warmed at the thought of kissing him, but Abby didn’t need to know that.

Abby made a tisk sound while joining you on the couch. “Y/N. Come on, you’re telling me you can’t see it?”

“See what?”

“Tom likes you.”

“Bullshit.” You laughed, taking a handful of popcorn. “You’re worse than the kids.”

“I’m being serious. I happen to know from a very reliable source that it’s true. Also, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and the way you look at him. Y/N he comes to you first with ideas, and don’t think I didn’t see you guys walking arm in arm at Road Art. He was literally beaming at you the entire time.”

“Whos this ‘reliable source’? Also, duh we are working on the play together.”

“Who do you think told me? Who, beside you, does Tom spend most of his time with?” She gave you her teacher look. Eyebrows raised and lips pursed.

“Harrison? How do I know you’re being forreal?”

She groaned. “Stop being so stubborn. Whatever. I told you what I know, what you do now is up to you.” She rolled her eyes and played the movie.

After the talk with Abby, you started to notice the little things more. Tom sat a little closer, stayed later to help you clean up. His text were more frequent and not always about the play. Without fail he was by your door between classes and at the end of everyday. You still couldn’t bring yourself to believe that it was because he liked you. No matter how many times you imagined grabbing his face and kissing him, there was still a bit of doubt.

Soon it was time for the first show. You were probably just as nervous as the kids.

“Everything looks wonderful Y/N.” Tom said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You’d been double checking everything, making sure things did what they were suppose to, and that everything was in its place. “Thanks.” You rested your head on his shoulder. You’ve been a lot of help getting this stuff done.”

“I should be thanking you. This would have all still been in my head had you not helped. This is mostly possible because of you.” He squeezed you closer, kissing the top of your head causing the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy.

All three days went off perfectly. So well in fact, there was another day added, as well as one last performance for the school. The show for the school was the best one of them all. All the kids were excited to put on a good show for their friends, and the rest of the students were excited to see finally see the play. By the end, you had tears in your eyes both from how proud you were of the kids and how sad you were that it was over.

“Guys! I have a few things to say!” Nick, the lead roll, said while waving his arms to get everyone's attention. “Firstly, this was probably my favorite play to have done, and the group of people I was able to do it with made it even better. Secondly, as a Senior, I’m so glad that I was able to have this play be my last one of my high school career. Thirdly, can Mr. Holland and Ms. Y/LN come out please?” The two of you shared a look before joining the cast on stage. “This play wouldn’t have been if it wasn’t for the two of you. You have both been such an inspiration to all of us, so we wanted to do something special for you.” Nick turned and motioned for someone backstage. Tom’s hand reached for yours and you intertwine your fingers.

“All of your classes got together and we secretly sold goodies and other things to help raise money for next years play.” Two other seniors had joined the front of the stage, a huge check in their hands. Tom’s hand squeezed yours, a huge smile was planted across both of your faces. Excitement flowed through you both as Nick took a moment before he continued. “Together, we raised $4,391.”

Your eyes grew wide and your mouth dropped. Tears were freely flowing down your face now. The fact that these kids cared enough about the plays absolutely warmed your heart. Tom wore a matching expression to yours. The auditorium was full of cheers, your body was so warm and fuzzy that you almost thought you were dreaming. Tom tugged on your hand, pulling you into a hug, and meeting your lips with his. What?

Everyone cheered even louder. Whoops and hollers and shouts of finally. But for you, everything stopped. When he pulled away, his face was full of shock

“Oh my. Oh no. I’m so sorry.” He frantically scanned your face trying to gauge your reaction. “I’ve been want omg to do that for so long. And there was just so much happening just now that I kinda lost myself. Oh man. I hope I di-” You put your finger over his mouth to silence him.

All the kids on the stage had circled around you, laughing and full of excitement that the two of you finally made a move.

“Just shut up and kiss me, Mr. Holland.”

#tom #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #teacher tom

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zachsgamejournal · 3 years

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COMPLETED: Mega Man Legends

Move over Sahelanthropus, I got all the walking mechs I need right here.

This game is great!

I BEAT IT!

I think it took about 8 hours (not counting a few reload/restarts here an there). While a few of the games I’ve played recently also took around the same amount of time, I kept feeling...frustrated about my progress. Mega Man Legends, on the other-hand, was a constant joy to play! I’m so blown away by how great this 1997 game is. I could gush over it all day, but Imma try to be focused...

The Story

This is where the game started off light and unimpressive, but ultimately turned out quite well. The story felt very basic: “The world needs crystal energy (refracters), and I play a ‘Digger’ that looks for them be exploring ancient ruins. But while I’m a well-meaning digger, there are ill-meaning pirates to worry about.” While the story wasn’t much, it did present the story very cinematically. The cutscenes told the story the gameplay couldn’t, but they didn’t overwhelm the player like Metal Gear Solid.

The player eventually crash-lands on an island with a city and lots of people. The player may speak with these people, even performing sidequests and developing relationships. The characters aren’t super deep, but they all have some personality and story. It helps build the charm of this world. I really appreciated it.

The antagonists are a family of pirate siblings. Tron Bonne is interesting in that she’s a bit of a brat, but has affections for Mega Man. She’s also moved by his heroism and genuineness. She finds herself emotionally conflicted between her older brother who insists on being “bad” and her feelings for Mega Man that shows there’s a better way to live. Though this is mostly used for comedic effect, it also makes her the most interesting and well-rounded character. At one point, Mega Man thinks he may have killed the pirates (including Tron) in a major battle. The heroes treat this as an unintended tragedy, and do not rejoice in their victory (I love it!), then later, Mega Man finds Tron alive is over-the-moon. She’s put off by it, but conflicted. After Mega Man defeats the trio again, the eldest brother, Tiesel, offers his honorable recognition of Mega Man’s superiority and offers to leave in peace. Tron is surprised and touched, but then it turns out to be a ploy.

It’s all pretty silly but still engaging character development.

The game’s story contains quite a bit of mystery. Why are Reaverbots activating? What’s hidden beneath the island? What’s the connection? It’s revealed that these ancient ruins (which are from a more advanced civilization) actually contain a weapon. This weapon feels that humans are over-populating and that it should purge the island as a population control effort. Mega Man finds this cruel and stops it. In the process, it’s revealed that Mega Man has a deep connection to system that wanted to purge the island. It’s hinted that he may serve some deeper purpose: maybe to act as the moral compass of unfeeling, ant-human protocol? The message I got was that humans destroyed the earth, causing a great flood and societal/technological collapse. So then machines were created to limit human influence, but their purpose is so old and outdated, it’s become an artifact itself.

There’s a fun twist here where Mega Man is captured. But the pirates realize that it’s more important to save the island than defeat Mega Man, so they release him and support his victory against the boss.

It’s still not super deep, but much deeper than I realized. And with all the various characters and personalities, it’s one of the best story experiences I’ve had in a game (though a bit goofy).

The Graphics

Are great! There’s a few issues. I think PS1 games pre-1998 had a different look and feel than post 1998 (and then again, post 2000). It feels like early game artists were still trying to figure out 3D modeling with limited hardware. So a lot of the best known tricks hadn’t been discovered yet. So MML definitely has a few Pre-1997 qualities, but it also has plenty of areas where it really looks great.

The savior is the cartoon-styled graphics. Most characters have solid-color clothes and accessories with few details. Because the art is consistent throughout, it just feels right. And then the facial animations are great. Games like Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, and Metal Gear Solid had in-game cutscenes, but the characters’ faces were unanimated. Sometimes they’d bob their heads to imply speaking--but it was all kinda goofy. MML, on the other hand, included moving mouths and changing face expressions during cutscenes. It really sold the cinematic vibe and is quite impressive for PS1 game.

So even though technical limitations really prevent this game from looking great, the art-direction and advanced facial animations keep this game looking great!

The Gameplay

1. Controls

Unfortunately, the controls kind of suck. Mega Man controls somewhat like a tank. A tank that can move side ways. While games like Mario 64 had free 3D movement with a camera that tried to keep up--MML has a camera that stays firmly facing forward that only rotates when the player rotates MM.

It’s a little off-putting. If I push “down”, MM runs toward the screen: completely facing the opposite direction of the camera. In most 3D platformers, the camera would try to rotate behind the character. Not MM. It keeps facing the same direction. When I stop moving, MM turns back to face the same direction as the camera.

I think they were trying to make shooting and combat easier. And I think their head was in the right place. But it makes the game hard to learn. Still, once you get used to it, it works ok. This is the worst part of the game, but the difficulty is well balanced that I don’t feel punished by the controls.

2. Combat

The combat isn’t super deep, but that also means it’s not overbearing. The combat feels more like Crash Bandicoot, with each enemy having an attack pattern that must be learned and subverted. But mostly, you just got to know when to shoot it. So it keeps the combat accessible while also interesting and mentally challenging. This is better than a lot of American Shooters that just have you fight a variety of projectile based enemies--run, dodge, shoot...

Adding depth to the combat is a cool customizable Buster (gun). You can collect a variety of parts that boost Attack, Range, Attack Speed, and “Reload”. Some parts affect more than 1 stat, allowing the player to try a variety of combinations to boost their effectiveness and compliment their play-style. You may also change configurations based on the boss or enemy type. It’s a simple, and fun system that adds plenty of depth to what could have been a straightforward action title.

What’s also neat about these parts: they’re often rewards for side-quests. Such quests might be rebuilding a clubhouse, participating in game shows, or finding a lost loved-one. It’s great because it provides a lot of bonus quests for the player that meaningful and rewarding both as an experience and on a material level.

The boss fights are also pretty interesting, assuming you’re properly equipped. They can be a bit challenging or confusing, but they’re quite diverse. Maybe you’re defending the town from bull-dozer bots, or engaged in air-to-air battles, there’s plenty of unique experiences. I was especially impressed with the walking-mech battle. I think there’s another boss just as tall, but this involved a very destructible city block. It reminded me of the Sahelanthropus battle of Metal Gear Solid V...or does that battle remind me of this? Either way--it was just more icing on top of a great experience.

3. Adventure/Pacing

I like to differentiate between action and action-adventure. Action, to me, is very linearity and to the point. Action adventure often asks the player to do more than fight their way to the exit, but to discover the path to the exit. Even better, they allow the player to discover much of the game--allowing for maximized freedom in progress.

Zelda Games are often the best examples of letting the player set their own pace and find their own way. Ocarina of Time is a true stand-out here. The game doesn’t tell you want to do, but pushes you in the right directions. Still, you’re not often limited to one set order of events to proceed and can do some quests in any order. Mega Man Legends does this as well.

Once you get past the first hour or so, the game really opens up. There’s people to talk to, secrets to find, and there’s rarely a rush to complete the next objective. You’re free to grind for resources and buy that gun upgrade, or just push through--relying purely on your skill to overcome challenges. But what really makes the game like this work is the “down time”.

Dark Forces 2, Mysteries of the Sith, and Jedi Outcast are fun action games--but there’s only one thing to do: fight your way to the end. Even if there’s sub-objectives to the over-all level, there’s no freedom. While several Mega Man battles take place in the town, the city is usually a place of no combat. But there’s plenty to do, secrets to find, and characters to interact with. And once a dungeon has been defeated, it’s nice to go back and look for secrets or grind. It makes the game way more diverse and I feel more in control as a player.

This is really important. Because the Star Wars games (and even Thief) are sooo straightforward and 1-dimensional, I get fatigued very quickly. And seeing as I like to beat a game before moving on, I get frustrated. I feel like these games are in the way of me finding happiness. Not a good reason to play games. But MML made me happy to play it. Even if I didn’t feel like taking on the next dungeon, I could do side quests or grind on an easier dungeon and not feel like I’ve wasted time. It all helps me succeed in the future. And that gives me joy.

Mega Man Legends is joy!

I started this game way back in 1997 or 1998, and I restarted it many times since. This was the first time I beat it, and I love it--absolutely. Likely a top 10 game for me. I hope to add this to my rotation of games to replay till the end of my days--but then again, I’m curious if Mega Man Legends 2 will outshine it??

#Zach's Game Journal #COMPLETED #Mega Man Legends #PlayStation #PS1 #PS1 games #Video Games #Gaming #DuckStation #Emulation

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rowanartist · 7 years

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Fan Fiction Quotes 2017:

"[Steve and Bucky] start a scholarship fund for Women in STEM students and name it after Peggy Carter"notes of ao3 ficyes!

"Maybe it was why he was failing so horribly now, he was too wrapped up in thinking to actually focus on the too-soft task that was quite literally at hand."Xpersonally relatable, overthinking

"He tries not to, but Steve gets that cold, sick feeling that he always gets, whenever somebody talks about him being attractive. He knows how he looks, and he can’t spend two minutes online without being reminded that the world is a big fan of the strong body and jaw that the serum gave him. He just wishes it didn’t feel so much like it’s because being scrawny and sick was some kind of aberration that had been corrected. That he wasn’t worth a dime of love or affection until he was Captain America."ch1while this might be a more extreme case, what are you supposed to do with being called beautiful? It's nice to hear but also confusing, there's more to me. "“Dracula,” Nat says simply, and heads for the elevator. Romania, then. -- “I’ll bring garlic!” Steve calls after her, and she sends him a smile over her shoulder."ch2amusing and playful. Made me smile "Tony Stark is a good person to cry in front of. He’ll only ever mock your strengths, not your weaknesses."[ch3]interesting characterization of Tony

"Ma'am, this is Steve Rogers. Yes ma'am, that one. I appear to have an unconscious HYDRA operative on my front stoop. Yes ma'am. Tied up with his own jacket. There is a gun, ma'am, but its barrel is currently at a 90-degree angle. I guess I need ... the FBI? No ma'am, I have no earthly idea."[X: ch9]funny, :) "chewing on the totally amazing future invention that is grilled cheese with egg and ham on it (seriously: why do these people still have wars)"[X:ch10]I've never tried egg on a grilled cheese... "Hey. Note: it is useful knowledge for living to have a list of things that are good no matter what."[X:ch20]good note. "His anger is a sound between his ears like a train. It is a tight band around his chest. It is hands that ache to do violence."[X:ch23]seems like good wording

"He started sketching Bucky out dancing, spinning a dame around with a huge grin plastered on his mug. He penciled in a big ol’ bow on the back of her dress like she was the best present a guy could want. But the picture was still all about Bucky. The crinkles around his eyes, staring Steve down with a challenge for him to get out there and have a whirl. Steve could hear Bucky’s laugh now."[X]pretty picture "Steve was a furnace built of muscle and good intentions, held together with a Brooklyn drawl and a heap of sass. "[X]lol

"It's not that different from close quarters fighting, really," she told him. "Think of it like you're trying to block me from getting past you, but do it to the beat. Stay loose and ready to move in any direction."[X]found because I liked some of the authors other works and the Fandom. I don't have any experience with fighting and little with dancing but it would make sense from the grace of good fight scenes in movies and tv. "I need to be able to trust anyone I'd want to go to bed with, not necessarily be in love with them."[X]interesting idea...

"A son’s faith in his father is absolute when he is small; especially when that father is the only parent the boy has"[ch7]part of growing up is learning and accepting that your parents are wrong, and sometimes it takes someone special to tell you

"Badass by day, adorably snuggling our nightmares away by night."[X]stumbled along this because of another post and tumblr's check out other posts feature. . .

"The Hulk is part of you, but he's not all of you. We know that,"[X]a reread, i don't think I pulled this quote our last time. Reread because of another quote [quote art]

"Reviewing what he knew of both [Peggy and Nat], Bucky wondered for a moment if he should be afraid, but figured that they would both take a 'firm, but fair' attitude when they ruled the world."[ch2]believable "Sorry. Just.” Bucky let go, but made Steve meet his eyes. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm not nagging, honestly.” -- “He cares about you, Steve, and is telling you so,” Peggy said. “Accept it like the fucking adult you are.” -- “I have cartoon pajamas, I am not an adult,” Steve informed her. "[ch4]the bold could have been a quote on its own, but on a more serious note I wanted the rest of the conversation... "Do you have any idea what it's like to be married to the angriest saint in the world?"[ch 10]amusing... "He's good and giving and kind, and sometimes he doesn't feel well and is under the impression that it cancels out everything else."[ch10]I relate, it can be hard when you're frustrated and angry with yourself "“Have fun,” Peggy said, and physically shoved him away from Steve and out the door, because she was very helpful like that."[ch12]yeah, I've had a few moments like that... "“I don't not enjoy having you here,” Steve said, pushing up on one elbow. “Bucky, don't ever think that. It's more like...I can't feel anything. Like I go numb, and don't care. And that mixes with sadness, sometimes,” he admitted. “But mostly it's just...dull. And awful. But I still know that someone loves me and is here and cares.”"[ch16]ponder Same series "Bite your tongue. There are so many ways to love people, and you got to do them all today,” Bucky pointed out. “It's a perfect Valentine's Day. One love isn't better than the other, and it shouldn't be given priority.”"[X]interesting point, Valentine's day really doesn't have to be about couples/romantic relationships, but all types of important relationships! Same Series "there's a middle ground between throwing a fit and being completely determined to not bleed on anyone else,” "[ch1]But finding that middle ground can be difficult. I also feel Steve's response when Bucky said that Steve had a "shit day": "Plenty of people have had worse days,”

"“Bucky you’re having a panic attack and I need you to listen to me. I need you to breathe. Focus on me okay? Focus on me and try to breathe with me.”"[part5]handling a panic attack. Sometimes it can be hard to accept the help remembering to breathe, like I messed up and don't deserve it. "Felt the need to explain himself more, as though acting without talking through it first was dangerous"[part+1]kinda get this for different reasons?

"Anytime [Bucky] managed to scrape together enough money after all the bills, he dragged Steve to the latest exhibit, marveling over everything. Steve, tending to look at things through a more artistic gaze, gaped at the beauty of science and Bucky’s child-like enthusiasm."[X]I'm not sure which one I'm more like. "Getting his overactive mind to shut the fuck up is a work in progress."[X]yeah, I know the feeling "as if [Bucky]’s the sunshine to cut through Steve’s rain."[X]just really nice turn of phrase "“You’re thinking too hard.” A whisper. A life boat to which Steve shamelessly clings to."[X]isn't it nice to let yourself do that? "I love spending time with you. I don’t regret a single second of it. I don’t need my space. But a relationship is between equals, Steve. After everything that happened, I needed to find myself apart from you, like you have. We needed to get back on the same page"[X]maybe. Standing on your own doesn't necessarily mean space. I will need to work on that some day, reaching out and making my own place.

"But this means showing emotion or allowing himself to feel. It means overwhelming himself, easily. It means not being able to convey everything he’s feeling ending in frustration ending in doubt, leading to locking himself up in a room. He hates it."[X]comments

"The Winter Soldier," Stark repeats. "Freezer Burn, the Russian Mob. Ice Ice Baby. Sid Vicious, the White Russian, Psychosicle, MC Hammer and Sickle--"[X]I like the variety of nicknames, quite a few I haven't seen before.

"Wow," the man says, without introducing himself. "Guess they did freeze at the peak of freshness"[ch11]lol, very Tony like

"Yes, okay, so you’re Bucky Barnes and you’re President Barnes’ son and that holds a lot of weight. But you could have chosen not to go. You could have said that it wasn’t your problem and just stayed home. But you went, and you talked to those people and you inspired them and you showed them solidarity. That was all you, and that counts. No matter what you think, that counts."[ch4]choosing to try to make a difference, no matter how seemingly small , can be very important "I’m the only person who ever gives it to you straight. Which is ironic seeing you’re as straight as a paperclip!"[ch16]not straight jokes are kinda amusing. I'm not sure if that's problematic or not... P.S. once I finished the fic I realized how much I liked Aunt Helen!

"He's an adult, you can't trust him to do the job correctly."[ch12]this fic is also in my fic rec. These kids are hilarious! "Not really much to tell." He shrugged. "Best friend. Prat. Housemate. Sometimes co-parent, sometimes yet another child to look after. That sums everything up perfectly."[ch12]amusing

"Hlupak—Czech word for "idiot". I have arbitrarily decided that Czech and Sokovian share some vocabulary, including insults. It is also my headcanon that hlupak was something Wanda called Pietro a LOT."[ch1:end chapter notes]lol

"wondering whether the total inability to sleep is a side effect of the serum or a side effect of his life."[X]sounds like a conundrum ""I know my brother. He would never be happy without somewhere to run.""[X] "You'd be smarter to stay out of this," Steve warns. -- "I don't believe intelligence was mentioned in the orientation packet." -- "That's 'cause we're all idiots. I don't want you to lose your home, Wanda. "[X]yupI wish there was more.

"As much as you can,” he said, “stay in the eye."[X]odd little fic but not bad

"Right. Does that mean Iron Man's gonna come get you?" -- "Captain America—actually." Purple Shirt groans as he tries to sit up. "He—worries too much. "[X]that sounds likely :) "You carried an orphaned kitten around in your jacket for like a week. You want me to be scared of you? Try harder."[X]cute

"Faint gamma signature, uncomfortably familiar shade of mindfuck blue, localized weirdness... You know, I really hate portals. Have I mentioned how much I hate portals?"[X]the bold bit was particularly amusing, in the laugh in order to not be negative way "Scientist wrangler and pop-culture expert," Darcy interrupted cheerfully."[X]nice intro for Darcy! "Think about it. My lady love, your lady love, every terrifying woman they know, bonding...""[X]Peggy, Pepper, Nat, Jane, Darcy, Maria, Kate maybe others... "Sam was wearing his you're being stupid right now face"[X]most characterizations of him he does this enough it's a know thing "Frank Sinatra launched into a jazzy rendition of "I'll Be Seeing You," the opening number of Darcy's "Old People" playlist. "[X]of course Darcy has an "Old People" playlist. Followed by: Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy; You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To by Dinah Shore more from the comments: "The Trolley Song" (because Darcy is terrible), and ends with Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again." "So they were there like gentlemen, waiting on the sidelines and holding Peggy's flower while she kicked that Bad Week's ass."[X]a quote from the comments; I like it for the facing hardships motto... "The archer plays Cupid!"[X]more from the comments

*brendaonao3.tumblr.com: Brenda’s Long-Ass Under-Appreciated Fanfics Appreciation/Rec Post Part 1*

"he hated making Bucky worry for no good reason, mostly because of how often he made Bucky worry with reason"[X]not really sure how I feel about it, characters seem good but I'm not sure I feel the chemistry?

"Iron Man pinned to the ground, held down by Alice and the White Rabbit while the Mad Hatter bashed at his helmet with a teacup"[X]very amusing and I should draw. Statues.(Also, later:"That's a big whale")

"Yeah, real handsome. All the dolls will be swooning.” Bucky winked, and it was easy as anything to reply, “There's only one doll whose swoon I want, sweetheart"[X]goofy and fun, I like it "younger man hunched in a similar manner over his book, sitting crosslegged on Steve's bed. Steve remembered glancing up from his sketch of something unimportant at the same time as Bucky looked up, and their eyes met, and they leaned across the bed toward each other. When they kissed, their bodies formed an arch over the bedspread, like the ceiling of a cathedral. Then they went back to what they'd been doing"[X]nice imagery

"Sometimes, even with all of the positive developments - or maybe partly because of them, who knows - it all gets to be a bit much for Steve, which makes him feel guilty, because it’s not like he’s the one who’s working through seven decades of manipulation and brutality"[X]relatable, the "why should I be the stressed one?"(note: talking heads song this fic, Bruce) "such as interrupting one of Tony’s endless attempts to impress him with Midgardian science by saying, “Truly a valiant effort, my friend” and patting Tony on the head), "[X]amusing, I bet Tony has an opinion on that, not sure what though [Steve]"Are you judging me right now?" [Sam]“Not at the moment, no. But I reserve the right to do so at a later date, depending on what your dumb ass comes up with next" [Steve]"Fair enough"[X]comments

"Anytime Bucky gets in the elevator alone, JARVIS talks to him the whole time."[X]awww

" would wrinkle his nose, not because of the smell as much as what the smell meant"[X]personal reasons: yeah I don't like the smell but I'd never thought about it before until I learned of the part it played between my parents...I like this fic center

"Because I don’t understand,” he admits at last. “You’re--good. Everything about you is good. If anyone can see the truth about me, it should be you. I want to understand what you see in me so that I can try to be good again too" It feels ridiculous, having said the words aloud. [X]same paragraph as the next quote "He has a fleeting half-thought about what it would be like to fling himself off the rooftop, but he knows he never actually will."[X]...not actually suicidal?

"Guilt or croutons, Steve, those are your choices. You'll just have to live with it."[X]I feel you Steve

"The Winter Soldier reads each and every label carefully, deciding between hydrocodone and acetaminophen and naproxen sodium."[X]*whine* the first one is more heavy duty than the other two (Tylenol and Aleeve)

"He could simply read the title off the book, but he loves the way Bucky’s eyes light up when he gets to tell Steve about whatever he’s reading."[X]this is sweet, and the answer is amusing "Figures. You love the man who sings about the little people. That’s so you."[X]I like the music section that follows this quote...

"He lets it sit on his tongue, imagines he can feel it dissolve into fats and proteins, weaving together to build muscle or stoking the fires of his mitochondria, warming him."[X]meditative idea??

"A good spy never let on that his primary observations about the human character came from Disney films"[X]lol "The human version of toast that lands butter side down, every time,"[X]wow, what a way to describe Clint Barton!

"He craves [human closeness], Bucky knows, reveres it so much that he’ll never take it for granted, that he rarely dares to ask for it"[X]relatable

"Genuine kicker of all Nazi ass, and he blushed like a schoolgirl. Dork."[X]comments

"He's not so stupid he'll ignore the fact that when Steven "My Blood Group is Apple Pie" Rogers threatens to end you, he means it literally literally."[X]not actually from the fic rec but this one inspired one on the fic rec... "hobo-sex-kitten "[X]uhm, where else can that even be applied. Tony narration can be unique

"‘I’m Bucky Barnes.’ He meets him halfway for a second. ‘And I take my own orders.’"[X]this line just stuck me

"Explain how necking with an estranged assassin is a favor," Bucky replies, miffed."[X]this fic, the story game?

"Ah, shit, you came in through the window didn’t you?"[X]made me laugh

"Being Iron Man doesn't make his brain shut up, exactly, but it tunes out the shit that doesn't matter better than anything else he's tried, and he's tried everything.)"[X]makes me think about my boyfriend explaining how SCA fighting or shooting at a gun range are for him.

*pause on the fic rec, I'll get back to reading it later

"Look man, all I’m saying is that for years you gave me someone to look up to for my entire life. ....You gave me someone to look to when I was feeling lost. I know that I’m nothing special, but you seem pretty lost right now. Figured you needed a little push, just like you used to give me."[X]Steve and Violet pt5, Tumblr fic

"More than once, James has ended up on the couch with Sam playing with his hair with a nature documentary on mute. He does the narration. Orcas are assholes"[X]found because of unclesteeb.tumblr.com

"When Steve thinks about Sam his heart does this funny thing where it feels like it’s overrun with kittens and puppies. Everything’s tiny patters of fluffy feet and pastel sugar plums made of candy. "[X]again, unclesteeb

"It's always the middle of winter, Jimmy never dreams of spring, no matter that his entire life is about being reborn, again and again -"[X]nice symbolism, and I'm not even a literary nerd. Also, from the fic rec from before...

"It's like he puts out some super pheromone that makes one believe in truth, goodness, and harebrained schemes."[ch1]I read the original story previously because of a fan art "Confirm. Green thing Hulk is tough and focused. And it's so big that it draws attention away from Steve"[ch1]amusing,particularly Steve's reaction :) "Building is a mission-assist for everyone."[X]awww/lol "One day at a time, Sam says, unless it takes one minute at a time, and then you do that."[ch7]good advice from Sam, of course Just all of chapter 8! "It's rude to assign gender without asking, Stark."[ch9]response to Tony arbitrarily tendering one of his bots (admittedly he does it to annoy Tony but...) "Barnes receives a majestic eyeroll, worthy of bald eagles and amber waves of grain."[ch11]amusing "Assists in your mission to live a good human life"[ch11]awww! Cuteness, I love this AU at Halloween time!

"and sits crammed into the corners of sofas, staring out."[X]same Series as previous set. I relate. Is it "a desire for human hugs" (blame Frozen for the phrasing) "America's mighty chin of stubbornness juts out like Plymouth Rock."[X]lol "Captain Fret wearing his worried expression"[X]yup

"All of the Bucky/Banner introductions, throughout the universes, have generally gone as well as two introverted weapons of mass destruction meeting could go."[ch6]was inspired by the last one

"I get lost in that feeling. Sometimes I need to rehash everything to get it all back in order in my head."[X]relatable I think from this fic rec

"I know that we– well, I –the last few times we’ve tried to, um, God why can’t I just say this out loud?"[X]because your normal Bucky. A lot of people feel that way, we shouldn't have to but it's not weird to! (Mini soap box)

"He’d found not one, but two, families in his long lifetime. People he cared about not because he had to, not because they shared any blood ties, but because they had come into his life when he felt like he had nothing else, and made it better."[X]the importance of any type of family!

"Steve quirked an eyebrow, putting his hands on his hips in his best ‘Captain America does not approve of your sass’ pose."[ch1]reminds me of doing the same with my boyfriend. "It’s just- I know it doesn’t look like much but we found it together. Yeah, it’s kind of old and beat up, and it’s little and broken but it’s still good. Yeah, still good."[ch2]yes, that probably does sound familiar! Disney!

"The Moon is a protector, Bucky. He’s bruised." Steve gives his fingers a squeeze, remembering a similar look on Peggy’s face once upon a time, when he stood in front of her with a broken transponder in his hand. “When I found someone worth flirting with."[X]awww, smile

"not his tiny blond ball of fury (whom he now remembers is a large blond ball of righteous fury),"[post]from the linked post, inspired this fic

"[Being surly to Captain America] It's like being nasty to Superman. He could do it, but he'd just feel like shit afterwards. It's not an experience he's eager to repeat."[X]amusing, means he's done that before...

""Yes, Pepper," they chorus like the good little schoolboys they might have been, once upon a time"[X]lol

"The next time he visited the pediatric ward at New York-Presbyterian, he brought a ton of socks and some puffy paint, so the kids could paint their own. The project was a hit with parents and internet knitters alike."[X]awww!! "Avengers Stitch and Bitch. "[X]comments

"he still has bad days where he sits in the dark by himself because the thought of being around anyone--even Steve--is like jackhammers in his skull and shattered glass under his skin. "[X]not nearly that bad for me, but I kinda get that "refrigerator with a magnet that looks like his shield."[X]cute. Near the end.

"the one who doesn't laugh as much or as loud as he used to, but whose eyes still crinkle in genuine humor at stupid puns and in wonder at some of the marvels of this modern age."[X]quiet emotion, not a lack of sense of humor

"This whole talking about our feelings like adults thing is hard. It made me hungry again. Didn't it make you hungry again?"[X]amusing, don't love the pairing 'cause I only know one of them and I really like him with Steve - though I've liked others

"he doesn't have anything left but a broken heart and some sourdough starter"[X]I've now seen a fair amount of Great British Baking Show " (Sure, the therapy sessions and the anti-anxiety drugs are helping too, but Steve's always been a big believer in the efficacy of hard work and good food for making a person feel better after their world's been turned upside down, and the bakery provides both in spades.)"[X]any combination of methods that helps

"You're going out with Barton. What makes you think you're in any way qualified to give me relationship advice?"[X]amusing deflection banter

"Bucky, you've always needed Steve and me to see the light in you, because you could never see it in yourself. That hasn't changed."[X]Peggy bring the truth...

"Hey! It’s dumb heroic shit. I don’t do stupid, unless there’s a reason for it."[X]yup, sounds like him "Barnes and Rogers, Brooklyn’s own troublemakers."[X]again, yup

"Never felt right pursing any selfish whims when there was so much injustice in the world, so many wrongs begging to be righted."[X]Bucky. Pirate AU. I really like the art - which is how I found it

"Steve gets to sleep in the middle and Clark and Buck equally love and fear his toes. His body radiates heat, but his damn toes are always cold and what the shit??? He’s so warm and yet?? Why just the toes?!"[X]Tumblr head cannon for Steve, Bucky and Clark Kent. I know cold toes!

"He does [sex] more for the happiness and emotional connectivity and that natural high of pleasing the ones he loves the most."[X]Tumblr head cannon for Steve, Bucky and Clark Kent.

"He’d never even told her he was pansexual (he figured he wasn’t bi because that could potentially discount aliens and since humans are technically “not him” he figured pan made sense). He’s spent a lot of time in the shower thinking about his sexual identity to be honest."[X]again the wibtersupercap head cannons. Lol. Even if the rest isn't really my thing at all

"Sex is so very complicated to him. He wants it, he doesn’t want it. It feels good…he’s never in the mood. He wants physical contact…he doesn’t want that much…but yeah sometimes he does? He’s all very confused about himself. "[X]MORE head cannon stuff. Almost done, over halfway. Even not identifying as ace I get this. Relatable, personal .

"Kal could totally be an indicator of “Hey I need attention, love me plz.” "[X]more head cannon stuff, almost done.

"They feel alone in the world, walking beside people who don’t really belong to them but are there all the same."[X]they being Steve Rogers and Clark Kent - so on point!

"I have all this pent up emotion and nowhere to put it, and my boys are beautifully conveying and taking out their motions while I put my fist through the bathroom mirror."[X]ahhh.

"Steve's stomach gurgles noisily and Bucky laughs. "If I could move right now, I'd make you pancakes, but it's going to have to wait until morning.""[X]sex burns calories

"alfred ['s Tumblr]: guns and sometimes miniature cakes"[X]comments

"He wants to live on steamed dumplings from now on."[X]I'm with you Barnes, they are good! "He wakes up early in the morning blanketed by the full-size chest of Captain America. Talk about purple mountains' majesty."[X]lol

"Steve sleeps in the day when he isn’t out and then he’s up all night, up all night long, finding something to do, jogging, TV, sitting at the window, all night, all night."[X]yeah, depression

"Steve hops up on the washing machine, swinging his legs – they’re only a couple scant inches off the ground, but he likes doing it"[X]relatable

"the tired face of Bruce Banner overlayed with that of the Hulk"[X: story 2]imagery. Draw. "Steve from Brooklyn was still there since Bucky could see him. He didn't need any other assurance."[X: story 3]comments

"well, i say bopped–it was the sort of wild swing you take with a frypan when someone startles you in the kitchen."[X]hilarious

"led by the bastard child of paul bunyan and lady liberty"[X]what a way to describe Captain America

"Okay, guys, fair warning, this is gonna get pretty meta pretty fast. Because you know that I love Cap-spotting as much as the next person, and this comm is literally one of the most uplifting places on the internet right now, because it’s first and foremost about human connection and how heroes really are just like us, and they go out to get Chipotle or whatever, and we desperately need that in this shit show that’s called our lives, especially after what happened in NYC."[ch1]okay, this makes sense, though privacy should also be a thing... Maybe there's not pictures? Then the continuation! "[stan the smithsonian guard] also got a photo out of this, and the opportunity to tell cap that his older brother fought in the 107th during the war and knew bucky barnes. cap apparently got a little choked up. can’t blame him."[ch3]poor guard on duty when Cap took back his uniform... Stan even gets cameos in fics "and i heard pepper potts might have implied a thing or two right after it turned out bucky was alive, and even the paps are scared shitless of that woman. AS THEY VERY WELL SHOULD BE."[ch3]oh the things that could get done if Peggy and Pepper were in the same time! "Other auctioned “items” include a self-defense lesson with Natasha Romanoff, archery practice with Clint Barton and Kate Bishop, and a day in a lab with Tony Stark, and they will all be donated by the happy winners to the beneficiaries of the Youth Program at the Potts Foundation."[ch3]YEEEEES! "And it was nice to see that you can come back from something like this, maybe not whole, but at least not completely shattered, you know. Reassuring. "[ch3]motivational "We don’t want Captain America, the hero who’s supposed to represent the majority of Americans, to be someone we can’t identify with at all because of the lifestyle he chooses."[ch3]a haters comment. Me: so the majority of Americans can't relate to following one's heart toward happiness?!

"It’s been nice to have people around him he can indulge skin hunger with as much as his libido."[X]a friwnds Tumblr. I'm not sure (or maybe I just don't have the energy to analyse it) why this quote stood out to me...

"Sure, he didn't need glasses, and sure, they were practically useless, but they were badass. Plus they made the world look purple"[X]not overall relevant but a cute warming read "Natasha winds up throwing Clint down the garbage chute and if that's not some kind of metaphor for Clint's life he doesn't know what is."[X]lol!

"Put on one of these obnoxious Christmas monstrosities that Tony has decided to inflict on us and get up to the main floor, because when I say that Santa has been, man has he been."[X]comments "Nope, it’s 9am. That is not too early. It’s Christmas, stop being such a Russian humbug and get up."[X]little 3+1 Christmas fic

#2017 #fan fiction

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