#mostly headcanons

[milestonekestrel]

Billy Chamberlain and Isolation

Yes. Billy Chamberlain character analysis (about 90% of which I made up), because his cringefail looks and swagless personality have captivated me.

Billy Chamberlain is a very, very minor character in Still Wakes the Deep. He doesn´t even appear physically, only mentioned in dialogue. All we know about him is that he and Caz we´re in a public house named "The Duke" on August 27th, 1975. Where he "slagged off" Suze, and was subsequently beaten up by Caz and hospitalized. This put Caz under investigation for an assult charge, which prompted him to leave to work on the Beira D. It is implied Billy, Suze, Caz, a friend of Billy´s, Keiran, and Roy all knew eachother, or are connected in some way. Through school or mutual friends.

Now, there is little known about Billy Chamberlain, as you can see. But, as you may know, he is my favorite little goober, so I´ve created some stuff to fill in the blanks on him!

So then, lets begin :3

Billy Chamberlain was born to a wealthy family. He basically had everything set up for him as soon as he came into the world. He would never struggle with money, the silver spoon baby that he is. What he would struggle with, however, is isolation.

You see, his parents were wealthy people. He had a good home and he was never in a bad spot. Nowhere but emotionally. Because his parents had a bad habit of holding him at an arm´s length. They treated him less like a human and more like a decoration. Less like their child and more like something that looked nice in the house. Their demeanor towards him never changed, no matter what he did. It was always small smiles and indifference.

and the fucking indifference.

Billy grew up basically alone. And he wasn´t ever physically alone, not by any means. His parents took care of him, his mother didn´t work, but she didn´t really mother him either. Not beyond what was necessary. Suffice to say, this did not set him up well for life.

It gave him a sense of isolation, being treated like this. Made it harder for him to process and manage his emotions, because he had no one to teach him. It also made it harder for him to form social connections and interact with people, or even feel like a damn human himself. Even as a kid, he always felt alone in crowded rooms. He never felt like he was the same as everyone else. Always fundamentally different. There was always a degree of dehumanization that he felt, that he couldn´t manage or process or even express properly as a child. The best way he could think of was to throw fits. Volatile fits. it never worked on his parents, they were still indifferent, and for some reason he never felt the spark when he came home from school.

But at school, when he was very young, he was a troubled kid and a problem student. He didn´t make many friends.

As he grows up, getting older and maturing, it only gets worse. He grows out of his fits, but now there´s no way for him to even attempt to release the building anger and turmoil he feels. So he just gathers it. Lets it build up. The isolation gets more intense, it starts to feel like there´s some sort of blockage between him and the rest of the world. Like he is forever on the outside, looking through a window.

He struggles with his grades for a bit, he´s a smart kid, but everything´s getting in the way. Every day he comes home to indifference, and he despises it. It´s interfering with school. So, he struggles with his grades. And his parents don´t care. They remain indifferent. and god, he wants them to care so badly. he wanted them to get upset with him. Like the other kids´ parents-- he would always hear classmates complaining about getting grounded and getting in trouble, and god how he wished his parents would do that. And he could never express it, because the few times he tried he got laughed at. Because it was so backwards, right? But god, he wanted it so bad. To come home to a scowl, just one day, or some disappointment at least. Anything but the indifference.. anything but the goddamn indifference.

He heard about this so much, parents getting upset with kids for bad grades, he recognized it as normal.

And his parents remained indifferent. And he felt fundamentally inhuman for this.

And all the turmoil just keeps building up, until he gets so sick of being alone in the world that he decides to take a knife and carve a small space out. For himself. To force his way into the world. To break through that fucking glass.

And it is around this time that he meets Suze and Keiran, two kids who he becomes friends with. At first, maybe Suze took pity on him. Either way, they ended up friends, and good ones, at that. Billy leaned hard into his relationships with them, even if it was weird and stilted, he still threw himself into it, because it was a way through the glass. He still struggled to connect, but he tried, he really did. He also grew to know Caz through their mutual friend of Suze, but neither really got close. Mostly, they just knew of each other.

Billy works hard in school. Originally, he wants to be an Engineer. He´s damn good, too, but he gives up on that path eventually, and instead finds a different career. After school, Billy and Suze remained friends, and he kept in touch with Keiran. Billy was well-liked by Suze´s parents. He was nice enough, and wealthy. And Billy had always had a bit of a crush on Suze. But then, a couple years later, Caz and Suze reconnect, and Billy gets properly acquainted with him. It is then that the very best and very worst thing happens in his life. He becomes friends with Caz.

The three of them grow pretty close, and all is well and good for a while. But Billy starts to lose his footing on the path he´s on. Caz and Suze have a special sort of bond, and he can´t help but feel excluded. Not to mention he´s still dealing with his parents, and every time he brings it up, Suze and Caz kind of invalidate his feelings. They never mean too, they´re not cruel people, but they´re dealing with their own shit too. And to them, Billy has it pretty fucking easy. Parents who house and support him financially. So that any time he brings them up, it just turns into a Trauma Contest, and he is always the loser. and he starts to resent it, a little bit.

Maybe they were right, maybe his parents could´ve been worse. But they could´ve been better too.

He starts to feel isolated again, and he leans very far into Caz and Suze´s relationship with him, as it is his only way through the glass. And it´s probably very unhealthy, too.

And then, and then... he falls in love with Caz. And it shakes him, a little bit. Not because he´s homophobic or anything (he doesn't even know the term gay is lets be real), but because this is a new, particularly strong emotion that he doesn't know how to process. And being unable to control and manage his emotions makes them particularly volatile. He has not been taught how to deal with love, let alone love for the same sex. It´s not something he´s been seen or shown or taught about, and its shaking up everything he´s built up inside. and he doesn´t know if what he´s feeling is good or bad. He´s never seen this before, but he hasn´t seen much at all, so is it okay? Or is this just another way he´s.. wrong?

And it just dredges everything up. And this is where it all starts to fall apart. Because Caz and Suze get together, and suddenly it feels like he is being locked out of the world again. That they´re their own thing, and he´s just alone again.

And that´s when the buildup all comes out, like bile. It´s everything, it´s not even all about them. Its anger and discontent from his childhood, insecurity in himself and the suffocating isolation, and the struggle with feelings he can´t name and has no frame of reference for dealing with. Caz and Suze are the only bridge he has, the only bridge to the world and to connection. And he desires it so much, that bridge, but in the end, its him who torches it.

He´s just so fucking angry. He´s drunk and he´s not thinking straight and he says awful things. And maybe he deserves it, what Caz does to him. But in the moment all he can be is angry. And when he wakes up in the hospital, he looks at the smoldering bridge, and decides to finish the job. And he fucking regrets it. In the end, he really fucking regrets it.

because now there´s consequences, and now the only people he´s loved both hate him.

and in the Caz survives au, this isn´t even the end.

There´s the whole business after Caz is fished out of the sea and brought back, where Billy gets the police to back off and comforts Suze, who seems to have forgotten, very briefly, how much she hated him. And he has a place in their lives again, a small place, an unwelcome place, but a place nontheless. They don´t like him, but Suze turns to him when everything about the lights in the ocean comes up.

Because she doesn´t have anyone else, either.

And maybe everything briefly disappears, for a moment, when the three of them are being hunted by Addair in abandoned facility. Maybe everything briefly goes away when Billy decides to throw himself in front of Addair to protect Caz. Maybe everything blurs out when it´s just the three of them trying desperately not to die in here, and to keep Addair from mutating one or all of them, or anyone else.

But it all comes back, at the end. When Billyis delusional from pain and internal bleeding, and he thinks he is going to die. Because, in the brain fog, Billy confesses to Caz.

Just one sentence, ¨I love you,¨ and everything is fucked forever.

Billy makes it out alive, in the end, but he loses his arm. Not completely, it´s still there, after all. But he can´t move it. It just hangs there, limp. and Billy has dug a trench for himself by now, alienating people and burning almost every bridge he´s ever crossed. Keiran, his parents, and Caz and Suze. Because whatever could have been salvaged of their relationship, whatever was left of thos bridges, Billy destroyed completely. But telling Caz he loved him. and he has no one to help him, at least for a while. no one to help him adjust. and Billy once managed to carve something out for himself. something. and now he was losing it. he could barely take care of himself, do his job, just do fucking anything now. he couldn't even comb his hair or put on a shirt. because of his stupid fucking arm. and he did this to himself, didn´t he? driving people away? he did it all to himself. he ruined all the relationships he had, for better or worse. and now he´s alone.

and the feelings of uselessness are a huge struggle for him. the isolation and the sinking feelings that drown everything else out. all he ever wants to do is lay down because hes so useless… he cant do anything, so why should he try anymore? Suze and Caz take pity on him, but he fucked it up. he fucked it all up so bad, and now he´s just burdening them. they´re good people, they really are. they want to help him, even if everything is so complicated now, because they´re better people than him.

All in all, Billy Chamberlain is a troubled man. His parents never treated him like a human, they didn´t even treat him like a pet, either. So he never felt human. And he never learned how to be a human either. All the things he´s done, he´s done to himself, and it´s dumped him at the end of the road. Alone.

But maybe he´ll get some sense knocked into him while he´s recovering, eh?

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[iiping]

what happens in the ruins stays in the ruins 🙈

[cthulhum]

does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

[salsakiyoomi]

i ii

sukuna fucked up.

he knew it well, so damn well that he did.

it's been a few weeks since your declaration that you won't be with him anymore until he gets his shit figured out — he hated being away from you, but dammit he knew he was an asshole.

he was an idiot to think you'd be under his influence forever.

sukuna's leg bounces as he sits on his bed, contemplating what to do now —it's been four weeks exactly since you had last spoken to him, and he had seen you around campus, laughing and talking with your friends normally without a care in the world, it made him wonder if he had ever had an effect on you the same way you do on him.

you told him that he was the guy for you all because he hadn't dropped you yet — he thought that was stupid, pathetic even, why would you ever think that?

the more he thought about it the more he realized how wrong he actually was.

he realized it in the way his days seemed lonelier without you, and how his heart always thumped extra loud with the thought of you, and the way you felt so good in bed — fuck, this is getting out of hand.

screw it all, he thinks, getting out of bed and stomping his way over to your dorm, hoping he'd find you there and awake.

it was a half hour past midnight when rapid knocks came at your door — you were on the couch doing some work on your laptop when you jumped from your skin at how loud it got.

you got up, a frown on your face as you make your way to the door wondering who the hell is knocking so damn loud so late into the night.

you open the door and you're immediately shoved inside — you let out a scream before you realize it's sukuna holding your face in both of his hands.

“i can't do it anymore.” he says, his eyebrows furrowed and you stare up at him, confused.

“w-what?” you stutter, your face is still in his hands and you're cheeks are squished together and with that dumbfounded expression on your face sukuna thinks you look too cute for your own good.

“i can't do it, i can't stay away from you,” he says, and he sounds a bit out of breath and that's when you realize that his hair is dripping wet — had he come through the rain just to tell you this?”

“ryomen, what's —” you're cut off with his lips are against yours, he tastes of berries and cigars but god you melt under his touch.

he pulls away after a moment, he's forehead against yours as he stares into your eyes, taking deep breaths.

“i was a stupid asshole,” he says, “i am the guy for you.” he declares and once more you're dumbfounded.

is this his way of confessing to you?

you blink, once, twice, then you let out a laugh.

“you're so silly.” you say, and he frowns, “does that make us official then?” you ask, a smile on your face.

“if you want,” he grumbles.

you grab his face, pulling him in for a quick kiss, “of course i do.” you say and his heart beats a little faster.

man, he was head over heels in love with you.

taglist : @samaraxmorgan

[smokin-salmon]

Fuck it. *Makes the old woman cry*

[jeeaark]

[hey-heigo]

normal day at the future foundation

[imsofreakingtired]

reasons why sevika is a little shit

would deliver the most scathing roast to someone and sit back and watch their reaction with this fuckass smirk on her face ⬆️

would not hesitate to fight a child

would not hesitate to fight multiple children

would not hesitate to taunt a child

has taunted a child

she goes stabby stab sometimes

called a man "weak" in front of all his people

would download all her movies illegally ("i aint paying for that shit")

has committed 1st degree murder

walks around running a crime ring

has a machete for an arm which i am pretty sure is technically illegal even tho it is her arm

will throw things when angy

chronic loser of fights with aforementioned children

would smoke in specifically no smoking areas

multiple accounts of tax fraud

is way too hot

⬆️ like too hot.

and she probably knows it

probably unable to talk about her feelings

will steal your drink even if you were already drinking it

on that note, will probably also steal your food

Would Refuse To Elaborate™️

if she likes you, she will not flirt like a normal person she will glare at you for an hour from across the room

would sulk for days if you didnt give her enough attention but also would never tell you she wanted it in the first place

would walk through the house in her boots

would leave her stuff literally everywhere

has smuggled illegal drugs into the upper city

"why negotiate when you can beat the living shit out of them instead."

wears a crop top and low rise pants and a choker to feel cunty

CROP TOP LOW RISE PANTS AND A CHOKER.

she knows what she does to the girls (and doesnt care)

[agentravensong]

characters who see themselves as more of a Force or an abstract concept acting in the world than as a person. characters who prioritize their role as a cog in some greater mechanism over their own personhood. characters who get their hands dirty, who run themselves ragged, who take on an unbearable weight, who hurt or neglect or give up or straight-up betray the people and things they once held close, because they believe in doing so they are fulfilling their Purpose, the thing they exist in this world to do (and no one else will do it, *can* do it, so it has to be them). characters who've determined that they are constructs bound to preprogrammed code, to a script already written for them by someone/something else, and have been operating under that mindset for so long that they don't know how to live on their own terms. characters who uphold the fate that is smothering them. can anyone hear me

[coffeebanana]

okay but what if. video game designer marinette...

[rhiangalaxy]

Shen Qingqiu is blowing up the System with his mind rn

[ID: A Scum Villain Comic. First image depicts Shen Qingqiu within the Water Prison, kneeling on the ground with his arms and wrists tied with immortal binding cables. He wears a nervous expression while the System screen next to him with a cheering kaomoji goes "Checking In." to which SQQ reponds "i'm bad". The next image depicts SQQ with now ripped robes holding his tied hands in front of him while Luo Binghe stands facing away from him in the foreground. LBH is holding his hands up to his face with a flustered expression whilst SQQ is looking at his back with a very confused expression and "???" next to him. A caption above them states "One Wife Plot Experience Later..." The final image is in a chibi style. SQQ glares at the system as it says with a smug look "Checking In" to which SQQ responds "i'm doing bad" End ID]

[rapidhighway]

I'm such a fan of Knuckles being just some guy. Like sure, his situation is far from regular, he has a destiny and all that, and you'd probably assume he's like, gods' favorite or whatever, but actually,in the big scheme of things, he is literally just some guy. And Sonic is the opposite of that

[nightowlfury]

continuation (p1 and p2)

[2hoothoots]

i don't believe that man's ever been to medical school

[lucabyte]

Different standards