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miss-choco-chips · 4 years ago

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YJ College au: Zatara

Zachary Zatara is both a myth and their housemate.

In which Bart has a cryptic-buddy, Tim is stressed because cute boy insists on being annoying, and everyone else just rolls with it.

Tagging @animemangasoul and @marudny-robot cause I know you guys like this au

--.--.--.--

As usual after pulling an all-week-er (he had left the ‘nighters well behind at this point), Tim was up late that saturday. The window had been left open last night, so a soft streak of sunlight wamed his bed, waking him up slowly and peacefully. Yeah, he would have liked a few more hours, but sunbathing in his sheets for a while wasn’t all that bad either. What would make this half-awake-half-dreaming experience would be some chill music.

Muddled mind made, he rolled in his bed, hand patting the mattress for his phone, squinting his eyes open when he hit something different instead.

He found himself to be almost nose to nose with a dark haired, grey eyed boy.

Tim started that fine morning screaming himself hoarse.

-.-.-.-.-

Sitting at the kitchen’s table, getting everything ready for a late sunday breakfast, Kon raised his head when he heard the strong sound of a scream, followed by… yeah, that was a body hitting the ground. It was unmistakable, in this house.

“Oh, hey guys”, he called to the attention of the rest of his housemates, all in equals states of zombie-ness, with not as good hearing as his. “Zachary is here.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“The fuck, Zach? My bed? Did you HAVE to crash on my bed? Why are you even here?”

Tim, four coffee cups after his pseudo heart attack half an hour ago, was ready to face the day and their intruder.

“Dude I live here as well, you know. Also your bed is literally the softest thing I ever slept on, you rich bastard. Learn to share.”

“I’ll buy you your own fucking mattress if you swear to never crawl on my bed uninvited again.”

The boy’s eyebrows rose, suggestively. “What was that about an invitation?”

Distressed and not feeling awake enough (he was still two cups away from that) to deal with bi thoughts this early in the morning, he turned his most helpless look to Conner.

Because he was the best friend ever, he threw a pillow to Zachary. And because he was a suck up to anyone who brought him food, Bart intercepted the hit and gratefully accepted the candy bag he got in thanks.

“But actually, Zat, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Berlin?” interjected Cassie, her own tea (the heathen) cup warming her hands as she cuddled with Cissie and Greta on the couch, legs in each other’s laps and generally being the cutest shit ever.

Anita, not very keen on that kind of sweet love, had been wrestling with Slobo for control over the remote for the last fifteen minutes. Miguel was keeping count on their hits for them, though it was mostly assured he would rig the whole thing up to whoever had bribed him better before the fight.

Tim just wanted to go back to sleep in his sun-warmed bed.

“C’mon guys, keep up”, moaned Bart, candy bag half empty already, “he was there two weeks ago. He had an exam yesterday so he came back last monday.”

“...come again?”

“I’ve been room-hopping ever since, though none of you seemed to mind. Until I disturbed sleeping beauty over here, at least.”

Miguel’s eyes left the fight to squint suspiciously at them. “We weren’t aware you were doing that. Where did you sleep? How didn’t we notice?”

“I'ma mystery. I also move around a lot when sleeping so I probably ended up under someone’s bed after crashing from studying. Oh, Anita, if you were wondering, your purple bra is under Cissie’s bed.”

Anita slowly let go of the grip she had on Slobo’s neck. Her eyes shone something dangerous. Cissie, the one who was apparently hosting the boy all along, also stood up and frowned.

“How do you even know that bra is mine!!”

“What the fuck were you doing under my bed, you bastard!”

Tim sipped his coffee, bitterly. “At least he was under it, and not sharing it.”

Kon patted his back.

-.-.-.-.-..-

“I swear, Jay, he thrives on making me lose my shit. He just… comes and goes whenever, leaving no proof he was ever there, or acting like he was always around. Drives me nuts. I’m not sure he even attends classes, and I only know he actually has a right to enter our house because his rent money always appears on the kitchen table a day before its due. He doesn’t even have a room, why does he even pay? To have an excuse to scare the shit out of the rest of us. Except Bart. The little shit lives for our suffering.”

Jason arches an eyebrow, sipping his beer as he carefully examines his brother. Tim looked less tired than the last time they saw each other, and the modifications done by his psychiatrist had done wonders to the shadows in his eyes. But he seemed somehow… frazzled.

“And he was just there when you woke up?”

“His nose was touching mine.”

“I bet your little bi heart couldn't take that, huh? Is he cute? Maybe you invited him to share your bed the night before and just don’t remember. You know how you get after a week of disregarding your general wellbeing.”

“Oh, shush you. I take care of myself. When was the last time you went to your check in with Patricia?”

Jason scratched the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “I missed one session, because I have exams too you know? But I’m up to date with Silvio, and we are working on slowly easing me off the medication.” He noticed the way Tim looked at his drink, expression screaming bullshit, and he scowled in response. “Fuck off, it’s alcohol-free. Kori and Artemis would have my head if they caught me mixing my dosage with anything stronger than tea, and I can’t deal with Biz and Roy’s disappointed eyes.”

Tim thought of the last time he refused to see his therapist, and the look in everyone’s (specially Kon’s) eyes, and had to agree. Having friends sucked when one wanted to wallow in self destructive conducts.

“Whatever, all I’m saying is, he’s not cute enough for me to forgive his weirdness. You know the people I roll with, so this is saying a lot. And I would remember inviting him to my bed, if anything for the mortification of it. I’m also…”

The ring of the doorbell distracted them both of whatever Tim was gonna say next. Waving his brother off, Jason got up to pay for their pizza.

When he returned to his living room, Tim was no longer alone.

“Who the fuck are you?” He exclaimed, eyes going back to the hallway at his back, then again at the black haired, grey eyed kid sitting next to Tim. “And how did you get in? We are on the sixth floor and I was just at the only door I have.”

Tim raised his eyes at him, and he seemed equal parts resigned and frazzled. ‘Told ya’, he seemed to say.

“Yo, the food’s finally here. I’m starving. The name’s Zachary Zatarra, by the way. Tim’s friend and housemate.”

“Allegedly” mumbled the other under his breath, earning himself a smile and pat on the back. “Don’t question it, Jay. He’ll be gone after a while when none of us are paying attention. Just let it be.”

“But while I’m here”, the other boy continued, grinning devilishly as he looked at Tim and then Jason, “instead of questioning how did I get in, what about I tell you all about your lil bro’s crush? It 's adorable.”

Tim raised an eyebrow “I don’t have a crush on anyone.”

“Like I said, adorable. He’s so oblivious, it’s precious.”

Decision made, Jason left the pizzas at the coffee table and went to fetch a soda for their guest. Gossip, especially about his siblings, was the best way to gain his immediate cooperation. And he could always force the answers about Zatara out of Bart; the brat was terrified of him.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey, who has to cook tonight? Because I’m craving chicken nuggets.”

Cassie raised her eyes from her magazine, tapping a finger against her chin.

“Uhm… Zach, I think?”

Miguel nodded. “Okay, thanks, where can I find him to suggest my dinner idea?”

Cissie, legs on Cassie’s lap, dropped her head over the couch’s armrest. “Ask Tim? Wasn’t he crashing with him this week?”

That same moment, said boy entered the room, shaking his head. “No, he was sharing with Anita and Cassie.”

“No, he wasn’t… Slobo?”

“Not with us either”, denied Miguel, sharing a look with his roommate to confirm just in case.

“Conner?”

“Didn’t Bart say yesterday he was driving him to the airport?”

“Wait, he left the country again?”

“More importantly, can Bart drive?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When Tim came back home from class, Damian was in his living room. Using a laptop. Sitting side by side with Zatarra.

This couldn't be good.

“Hey, Timbo, welcome back.”

“Drake.”

Not uttering a single word, Tim turned around and walked out of there. Sleeping on a park bench seemed like a preferable choice, compared to finding out exactly why the two banes of his life were sitting together. It was healthier, good for his peace of mind.

Something something self care? His therapist would be so proud.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey dude.”

“Zatara. Your presence here disrupts my room’s feng shui. Please remove yourself from the premises.”

“This disaster zone is the farthest thing from armonious. If anything, I’m improving it.”

Tim raised his eyes from the computer screen. He could always kick the other man out, but that would require leaving the nest he made out of blankets and snacks on his bed. Perhaps a more civilized option would be better. Besides, as boundary-less as the dude was, he didn’t step into the room, just remaining on the doorstep, so whatever he was here for, he most likely needed Tim’s willful compliance.

“If I listen to what you have to say, will you leave?”

Zatara smiled angelically, like butter wouldn’t melt on his mouth, but the look behind his eyes was nothing short of devious. “That’s actually what I came to speak with you about. I have a show…”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“A magic show. Dude, you do know I’m a magician, right?”

Tim didn’t, in fact, know that, besides baseless suppositions about his disappearing-and-appearing abilities. But he had an all knowing facade to maintain, so he grunted in acknowledgement.

“Right, so, I have a show scheduled for tomorrow, but I took Bart out to dinner yesterday so I’m all dried up, and I need to buy a plane ticket asap.”

“Are you asking me for a loan?” he inquired, incredulous. As a general rule, all their housemates refrained from that. Something about not wanting to take advantage of their billionaire friend…

“No, no. I’m offering you a…. service.”

“Look, Zach, no offense? But you ain’t cute enough for me to stoop that low and pay for the… pleasure of your company. I can just give you the money and you pay me back whenever, dude.”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! You wish I was offering something of the sort” he laughed, arms crossed and side leaning against the doorframe, chest and arm muscles perfectly visible. Tim kept his eyes carefully above neck-level. No need to give any weakness away.

“Then?”

“I know you love me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t make you miserable, right?”

“That is correct, yes.”

“Are you familiar with the ‘Buy my silence, $8.000 a month’ meme? Then get ready for a ‘pay for my absence’, my good bitch. I thought maybe you’d like...”

“Sold. I buy it. Take my credit card and go, be free, roam the world. Just get out of my room and fucking text once in a while so I know you’re alive.”

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angrypedestrian · 3 years ago

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THE TIME IDIOTS EPISODE 606 TITLED “SPOONS” MY THOUGHTS:

Previously: phil: oh god we spent....so much money on last week’s episode

god i really wish i cared about sara’s storyline because tala’s husband is....so hot. LET HIM HANG OUT WITH EVERYONE ELSE

oh hey mick what’s up

ngl i totally forgot he wasn’t on last week’s episode and that he was off in space with Kayla

i still love Pink Vancouver, and that the alien’s name is Kayla, these are honestly some of the funniest parts of the season

no fabricator, but also no money, right??? RIGHT GUYS. IS MONEY NOT AN ISSUE AGAIN. WHAT IS THE TRUTH

spooner with the truck stop stimulants, she is perfect

you’re very cool nick everyone recognizes you are so cool with your electric guitar

nick zano: haha yeah i’m cool

awwwwww jonno’s in LOVE

GIDEON!!!!! i love u gideon. missed u and your love of human dismemberment girl

spooner’s commitment to top lesbian aesthetic is admirable

It’s Memorial Get It Award worthy, I think

gotta add that amelia wig to the WCU (wig cinematic universe). it is BAD

like, their budget clearly went up this year, WHY could that not go towards better wigs????

behrad you are from 2040 quaaludes stopped getting produced in like the 80s you have no idea what they are

Astra you were a little too horny towards spooner in that moment

nothing wrong with being horny towards your teammate, just don’t play your hand all at once, you’re better than that

i believe in you

love the trainspotting homage there. phil loves cinema, famously. just add tentacles

truck stop stimulants to the rescue! the only time that sentence has ever been written

lol remember caity was at one point in a girl group prior to her acting career? cause i just was reminded

i just care....so little....about this story line. i do not care about the white ladies in love i just want SHENANIGANS

and if you aren’t gonna do shenanigans do the weird horror stuff you were doing a couple seasons ago, that was good too

i like that astra is just like, i am not dealing with whatever it is that you all have going on. not my goddamn business

nate: yeah that’s fair

Also how is this an equally bad but legally distinct wig from the last wig this Ava wore. You know you could probably have bought one decent wig for the price of these two bad wigs

hey zach you seem to harp on these wigs a lot. AND WHAT OF IT. we all make our own fun here

nothing can survive....Pink Vancouver

astra yr doing great sweetie

so wait, is this show implying that amelia earhart.....was an alien this whole time, or bishop made her into an alien? this is very confusing

now THAT is the body horror i want to see baybeeeee

get her ass spooner!!!! like a tiny angry shih tzu barking at a german shepard

i do like the continuity that gideon’s booze isn’t that great. doesn’t stop any of them from drinking it, but it’s just good to know.

But her weed is good lollllllll

oh those are two different avas with two different terrible wigs fucking WHY

gary do not lie to these avas about their hair

zari just explicitly telling us all that john IS a fuck toy thank u zari

oh that is an ugly dress sara

real lucky that this atmosphere is only mildly deadly and not instantly deadly

SPOONS

lot to unpack there, mostly gay

bishop’s injury makeup is pretty good, they really have stepped up their prosthetic makeup game this year! i am loathe to compliment this show but credit where credit it due and all

NO. BAD. NO TENTACLE TITANIC MOMENT. YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR PHILLIP

phil: i love cinema.

I will be contacting my lawyer IMMEDIATELY and i will take you for all you have bird man

rip to great alien and aviator amelia earhart

sara you very famously lost all your scars when you went into the lazarus pit. it was a whole thing.

THANK U BISHOP you get it

lol did this bitch die again hahahahahahahaha

INCREDIBLE. pretty sure she has filled up the punch card to hell at this point

next week: PUNK OUTFITS HELL YEAH

#legends of tomorrow spoilers #legends of tomorrow #the time idiots #my thoughts as i have them #the wcu (wig cinematic universe)

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fanfoolishness · 5 years ago

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Growing Pains thoughts

I’ll be frank... this episode destroyed me in ways I think I’m gonna still be processing for a while.

But hey! Dogcopter’s gay and in love and good for him!

Everyone’s getting married but me!

*drops carton of ice cream he was eating for lunch*

I feel like poop

honey, Steven, maybe that’s all the ice cream

Don’t you remember the creamed corn debacle???

Also all the cheesy puffs?

Also all the mess?

This face is funny because it hurts ;_;

and he INSTANTLY cheers up when calling Greg. Oh, honey.

I’m glad Greg is still a band manager out on the road! What a great thing for him.

Though it’s another case of Steven nudging a guardian into self-care, it’s a much smaller nudge and a much more mentally stable guardian, and it’s in line with what could be a normal teen-parent interaction

Like when my brothers and I cheered on my mom for getting her teaching degree

But Steven’s anxiety eyes as Greg ribs him for things that should be part of being a normal teenager hurt my soul

I spy potato chips, cheesy poofs, and spilled ice cream just on the fucking floor in his room. And a laundry hamper in easy reach but with clothes everywhere. Steven is really, really hurting.

Steven has Greg’s old picture in his phone.

Another sign of wanting to hold on to the past, perhaps. Connie’s picture is updated.

Steven... tears off the freezer door. Those expired Cookie Cats in the back are definitely gonna be inedible.

Steven: My body keeps randomly growing! It doesn’t hurt so it’s fine!

Also Steven: FULL OF SKULL FRACTURES

Connie’s faces are the exact correct response to the badness unfolding in front of her.

The way Steven persistently tries to deflect and shove down his own needs and fears with both Greg and Connie is heartbreaking.

PRIYANKAAAAAAAAAAA MY FAVORITE DOCTOR EVAR

OKAY, so realistically, I was worried that it would just be too weird having Steven’s best friend’s/kinda girlfriend’s mom be his doctor.

But Steven’s messed up enough that maybe boundaries don’t matter right now eeeeeh

anyway. I love Priyanka. I love how rational she is. Let’s rule out human causes for the problem, shall we?

CONNIE you are so mature and reassuring to Steven and also respecting his privacy and ALSO being like HEY FELLOW HUMAN BEING GREG GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE thank god

I’m glad he is still such a round boi <3

I LOVE THE CREEPY GEM SOUND IT’S MY FAVORITE SOUND EFFECT EVER

I’m pleased Priyanka even thought to auscult it

Poor Priyanka about to start on a righteous path of “kid you should have been going to the doctor” and then Steven just BLOOORPOPS

Is... that one of those blue things that doesn’t cover your butt?

yes.

I love her. she is so fucking single-minded. You see where Connie gets her determination from.

Just imagine Priyanka thinking about how little Steven seemed when she met him. She and Connie both thought he was about 8 until his 14th birthday. She thinks of that little boy being smashed, being broken, and she just... she aches.

That doesn’t change the fact that you experienced trauma.

But you were hurt! Badly hurt!

I... was badly hurt.

wow wow wow this all hurts me okay

Priyanka’s voice is so calm. So measured. She is trying to present this information in a way that won’t scare him.

You think there’s something wrong with my brain?

This scares him so much :(

They did it... they really did it... everything I’ve been saying for months, everything I’ve been thinking would come back to haunt him, so many things over the years.... it’s here. They really did it. And I’m emotional, and I hurt for him, and I’m amazed at how many of these moments I pinned down and put in my animatic weeks ago. And I feel terrible for Steven, and I feel terrible for my childhood self, and for my baby brother who died of a drug overdose from an addiction that likely stemmed from the cumulative effects of his own accumulated adverse childhood experiences. Our shared childhood. Except I’m still here, and he’s gone. And why was I lucky enough to be strong enough to come through that without a fatal coping mechanism when he wasn’t? Why did he reach for something that would kill him? Why did our childhood have to include my father’s suicide attempts and poorly medicated bipolar disorder and days where we were so scared to see his car come home? Why did we have to be screamed at and have our things destroyed by our dad smashing them in a rage? Why did we have to go through this? Why did Steven have to be so harmed in so many ways? What fractures do I carry under my skin, invisible, like Steven?

Oh. Maybe this is why it took a full day to collect my thoughts on this episode.

Oh.

Oh, Steven. Your heart is broken ;____; I love that he’s mature enough to not be angry at Connie for her choice, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a terrible, terrible blow to him.

You haven’t told your mom?

oh Steven this is rich coming from you

Did you EVER tell Greg ANY OF THIS STUFF

Did you EVER tell the Gems what White Diamond did to you???

But maybe he hopes that since Connie HAS a real mom that they at least can be close

and maybe he fears that if Connie didn’t tell her mom, then that means she thinks it’s really bad :(

oh no oh no he’s a mostly naked pink giant boy and we DO NOT NEED ANY MORE SKULL FRACTURES

“I... can’t... BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

I’m...

I can’t

I’m so sorry Steven

ZACH how the FUCK do you do this

If that man does not get an Emmy for this season the whole system can die in a fire

“Connie? .... thank you.”

FUCK

somehow that’s even MORE devastating than the other line

just the acknowledgement of the pain and the fear and the confusion he’s going through

and that she knew what had to be done

I CAAAAN’T

“It’s fine, Dad.”

SON IT SURE AS SHIT AIN’T

another amazing delivery

I just... fuuuuuuuuck

“I proposed to Connie!”

Those TEARS, that FACE, there is so much AGONY in every line and syllable of this scene, he’s so ashamed and embarrassed and hurt and sad and there’s just so much, too much, he can’t --

Sometimes, you look so much like her.

GREG. Greg is SO GOOD YOU GUYS.

he’s the dad we should all aspire to be to any young people in our lives honestly

he still makes mistakes

but the fucking HEART he has

The house is all cleaned up by the time Steven gets to bed with the hot cocoa.

You know that Greg INSISTED Steven not lift a fucking FINGER to clean it.

You KNOW that man schlepped all the garbage downstairs, cleaned the ice cream off the floor, started the laundry, all of it. You KNOW he cleaned his son’s house like his life fucking depended on it.

I’m writing it. This fic is gonna happen.

And it’s gonna hurt.

I need to go sit and be awhile.

#steven universe future #suf #steven universe #suf spoilers #steven universe spoilers #growing pains

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let-it-raines · 5 years ago

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another kind of green (3/?)

Emma Swan spends her days in pretty white dresses and heavy layers of makeup. Day after day and dress after dress, she poses for pictures and acts like she’s in love and having the happiest day of her life with the man standing next to her.

It’s not. This is all a gig, and at the end of the day, she’s no longer the girl in the pretty dress who’s faking getting married for a magazine cover or a wedding convention. Instead, she’s the girl who probably never wants to get married.

Little does she know, she already is.

Rating: Mature

a/n: for @xemmaloveskillianx as her gift for my giveaway ❤️

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2| 3 |

-/-

“Emma, do you want a salad with your steak?”

“Do I want it? No. Should I have it? Probably.”

Mary Margaret laughs at her and then turns to start cutting up some more lettuce. Emma always feels horrible whenever she comes over to the Nolans and they cook for her. She offers to help, but they all know they’re better off if she stays far away from the kitchen. One time she put the rolls in the oven, forgot about them, nearly burned the apartment down, and they haven’t let her near the oven – or stove for that matter - since.

She can definitely cook rolls. That was an accident.

“So,” Mary Margaret begins, “how did your dress fittings go yesterday? Did you like the dresses?”

“There was so much lace, Marg. Like, I have never seen so much in one day. It’s obviously going to be a trend next summer.”

“Yeah? I’ve always loved a lace wedding dress. You know, my dress was – ”

“A strapless, fitted dress that was a mermaid style and overlaid with lace. I know.”

Mary Margaret rolls her eyes and holds her knife up at Emma. “I may be a sweetheart of a human being, but I know how to defend myself.”

“Is that a threat?”

“You bet your ass it is.”

Emma scoffs and rises from the barstool the pour herself a glass of wine. “Is Ruby coming tonight?”

“She’s got a date with Mulan tonight before she goes to New York for two weeks for a few shoots.”

“What? They didn’t want to spend a romantic evening with you, me, and David?”

“You know, believe it or not, I don’t think the two of them think we’re a great time.”

Emma mock gasps. “Shocker.”

“Okay, ladies,” David sing-songs as he walks back into the apartment from where he’s been up on the rooftop grilling in his ridiculous apron, “I come with your steaks grilled to perfection, and I won’t hear a word otherwise.”

The three of them sit down around the small table in the corner of the Nolan’s apartment and eat their steaks, which are grilled to perfection actually, and share about their days. Mary Margaret only did paperwork from home today while David had a particularly difficult new police officer that isn’t quite catching onto the rules, which isn’t great when they had him out on patrol. Being a Lieutenant obviously isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be for David, but Emma knows he’d never want to be anything else.

“Hey, speaking of that, how strict is the background check part of becoming a cop?”

Both of them stop eating, the metal of their forks and knives clanking against the porcelain of their plates, and blink at her.

“Emma,” David hesitates, picking up a napkin to wipe his mouth, “you know you can’t. I mean, I would love for you to but – ”

“No, no, no,” Emma interrupts, raising her hands, “not for me. I don’t…you know I know I don’t want to be a cop, right? Like, super thankful for you, but with my history, I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole.”

David sighs. “I still hate how much of your life that bastard has fucked up. You should have so many more opportunities for what you want to do with your life.”

“I don’t want to deal with that. I just…ugh.”

If she buries her face in her hands and groans all night, she doesn’t have to tell them this, right? There’s no need for her to share what has to be one of the stupidest decisions she’s ever made. She can hoard that little secret forever and no one has to know what she apparently did while drunk off her ass in Las Vegas like the biggest cliché in the world.

Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis have nothing on her. Except for maybe the tiger and missing teeth and all that.

“Emma? Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine,” Emma mumbles, not meaning it. “Igotmarried.”

“What?”

“What do you mean you got married?”

“Married?” David shouts before coughing and having to hit his chest. “What do you mean you got married? Who did you marry? I didn’t know you were seeing someone!”

“I’m not,” Emma explains, wanting to die a little inside. “Remember when we went to Vegas for that weird convention thing last month?”

“Yeah,” Mary Margaret answers while David continues to drill lasers into her head. You’d think he was her father and not her friend. “What about it?”

“Well, the guy who played the groom and I…spent the night together.” That gets her a groan from the both of them. She knows. She gets it. They’re not fans of her spending nights with men she doesn’t know, but she can handle herself. “And then we decided to drink too much instead of parting ways and somehow, we ended up at a chapel and got married. Legitimately. I checked. Our license is online and everything.”

She lets the two of them have their freak out for the next ten minutes or so. Mary Margaret never stops asking questions while David keeps muttering curses under his breath and seems not to have a fully functioning brain. It’s a lot to comprehend. She understands. She spent her entire day yesterday trying to figure out how this happened and what she was going to do about it.

Get it annulled, obviously.

Killian mentioned that, and when she got home after her fittings yesterday, she looked it up and made sure they qualified – the both of them not being in their right mind definitely qualifies them for an annulment. Killian probably had whiskey dick or something after the marriage, so she’s guessing they didn’t have sex afterward either. Before, yes. That’s a definite. After, nope. And apparently not consummating the marriage is still a legal reason for annulment in most states.

“How did you find out about this?” David finally asks when his brain starts working again.

“Killian found me yesterday and told me. He’s trying to become a cop in the A-1 district, funnily enough, which is why I asked about the background check thing. He was having his done when they came upon our marriage, which he didn’t tell them about…obviously.”

“You can’t say you don’t have a type.”

Emma flicks a piece of lettuce at Mary Margaret. “Remember how you threatened me with that knife earlier?”

“What?” David screeches, hands slamming against the table. They’re going to cause him to have an aneurism.

“Nothing, honey. So what are you two going to do about this marriage?”

“We’re going to get an annulment. He’s supposed to text me on when I have to go down to the station to talk to his recruiting officer about the whole situation, which I’m sure won’t really help his case, and then we’re going to find a lawyer or figure out how to do the paperwork ourselves.”

“And you’re okay dealing with a lawyer again?”

“I mean, I’d rather not, but all of the paperwork online looked…confusing. I don’t know. I’m not sure what exactly we’re going to do. I haven’t really processed it all. I still think I’m going to blink and it’s all going to be a dream.”

“Shit, Emma,” David sighs, the beginnings of a chuckle creeping into his voice, “you got married.”

Emma chunks her a throw pillow at him.

After the Nolans have finished interrogating her, but mostly laughing at her for this situation she’s ended up in, she tells them she’ll talk to them later but she’s going home. This has exhausted her, and she wants to sleep. As soon as she walks in her front door, she throws her keys on the entryway table where the envelope of her wedding pictures are still sitting, kicks off her shoes, and reaches under her shirt to take her bra off with all of the sweet, sweet relief that comes with that.

Her apartment is messy enough that it needs to be cleaned, but it’s a quarter until ten, and no one but her is going to see this place. Cleaning isn’t a priority.

Then again, when is it ever for her?

She’s not a slob by any means, but she’s not going to die if there are some clothes on the floor and a dish in the sink.

Sighing, she walks toward her couch and plops down onto the soft cushions, wondering if she’s going to fall asleep before she has the time to watch an episode of Downton Abbey, her newest mindless television show that most of the world has already seen. Emma’s turning on her TV when her phone buzzes in her hands.

Unknown number: Can you meet tomorrow?

Emma Swan: That entirely depends on who this is.

Unknown number: Killian Jones.

“Oh shit,” Emma mumbles under her breath. She was expecting to hear from him, but she’d almost forgotten in the last hour that she had this situation to deal with. She spent the whole night talking about him, but for a little while, she allowed herself to forget.

Emma Swan: I can meet tomorrow. What time? At the station?

Killian Jones: Does 1:00 PM work for you?

Emma Swan: That’s fine.

Killian Jones: See you tomorrow, love.

-/-

It’s been three years since Emma’s been in front of this police station. Three years, give or take a few weeks, but nothing about it has changed. Same red doors that need painting and same grimy concrete steps that do not make it an inviting prospect no matter your reason to go inside. Then again, who really wants to go to a police station? That’s not exactly what someone would consider fun.

Emma doesn’t exactly consider this fun.

The wine she had last night helped ease her into sleep, but this morning when her alarm went off to very annoyingly yell at her to go to the gym, all of her anxiety over having to be here today came back in full force that she channeled into her hour-long run on a treadmill that made too much noise. She should have taken a Pilates class or something instead. That way she wouldn’t have had to listen to the groan of the treadmill and would have had the voice of the instructor to distract her.

(Mulan always kicks her ass.)

God, why are police stations the absolute worst?

“Are you always so jumpy?”

Emma stumbles over her own feet with her jump, and Killian’s chuckle does not amuse her, not at all.

“Point proven,” he continues, swaggering up to her and down the rest of the steps that lead to the entrance. He’s got on a leather jacket despite it being sweltering out here, and she has no idea how he’s not sweating. She was sweating simply putting her bra on this morning. “It’s a pleasure to see you, love.”

“Did I not tell you not to call me that?”

“I don’t believe you did.”

“Well, I’m not your love, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me as such.”

Killian bows – he freaking bows – and rolls his hand in circles in front of her. “As you wish, Swan.”

He’s a cocky son of a bitch, isn’t he?

“So,” Emma starts, taking a deep breath, “what do you need me to do in here exactly?”

“Tell the truth. It doesn’t exactly make me look too great to have gotten drunk enough to get married in Vegas while on a job, which I’m sure will be a reason to have my ass handed to me on many occasions, but I need you to tell the truth and explain that I honestly did not realize I had a better half.”

“Fine. Sounds simple enough.”

Killian nods, his lips pressed into a tight smile, before he opens up the door to that station for her.

“What? Are you a gentleman or something?”

“I’m always a gentleman, Swan.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

On instinct, Emma walks into the station and starts walking past the front desk like she still has access to the place, but she quickly holds herself back and stops, stepping backward and hoping that no one noticed her. When she sees Killian’s raised brows, she knows that he did. Dammit.

“Hello, Marlene,” Killian drawls out, laying on the charm a little too thick for whoever the new officer at the desk is. “I’m here for a meeting with Captain Roberts.”

“Is everything alright? I thought the tests for our new officers weren’t until next month.”

“Everything is just fine, love. He simply wanted to meet my lovely wife.”

Oh, son of a bitch. Why would he say that?

“You’re married?” Marlene gasps, eyes full of murder glancing over at Emma. Homegirl is plotting out ways to get rid of Emma’s body right now, and if she gets murdered, she is coming back to life to murder Killian. He’s probably met this woman two or three times in his life, and he’s already got her wrapped around his finger. What must it be like to be able to charm someone like that?

“It’s new. Roberts has heard me talking so much about her, and he’d love to meet her, aye?”

“Uh, o-okay,” Marlene stutters, her jaw still dropped open. “Let me ring him, and I’ll let you back.”

“Thank you, lass.”

Killian turns back toward Emma, waggling his brows and then winking, and she has absolutely no idea how this is the man, of all the men in the world, that she accidentally married.

What a sentence.

“Do you always use your looks to get what you want?”

“Are you saying I have the looks to be able to do that?”

“I do not have to do you this favor.”

“True,” he sighs, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She almost shrugs him off, but then she sees Marlene looking at them again. “You’re doing me a kindness I don’t deserve.”

“Yeah, well, it takes two drunk idiots to get married.”

Killian quietly snorts underneath his breath while there’s a buzzing sound coming from the other end of the station with two doors opening and a group of cops walking out the door. She doesn’t think anything of it, doesn’t pay any attention, until she sees familiar brown hair and the same boots that he wore every single day.

Why the hell could Marlene not have gotten them inside any quicker? She was probably staring at Killian’s ass too much to put in the call quick enough. For a moment, Emma almost turns to Killian and asks him to do something dumb like kiss her so he can’t see her face, but she knows it’s too late. Besides, all two people making out in a police station will do is bring more attention to them.

Shit.

“Emma?”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Killian’s arm tightens around her shoulder, and she can feel him taking everyone in as they walk by.

“Hi, Graham,” Emma sighs, forcing her smile. “How are you?”

He mumbles something to the other cops, guys she recognizes but can’t put a name to at the moment, and they keep walking while he stops right in front of them, taking in she and Killian and Killian’s arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“I’m good.” His smile is genuine, and she really doesn’t need him to be a good guy right now. But he will be. Of course he will be. “How about you? What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, well…it’s a funny story, you know. I – ”

“She’s the wife of one of new prospective officers,” Marlene, like the helpful soul she is, tells Graham. Killian barely manages to stifle his snort.

Graham’s brows nearly hit his hairline. “Is that so?”

“Killian Jones.” Killian sticks his hand out to shake Graham’s, the veins in both of their forearms popping out the slightest bit, and if a sink hole wanted to come and swallow her whole right now, she wouldn’t say no to that. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Detective.”

“Same to you. Where are you in your application?”

“I have the PAT scheduled for a few weeks from now after I finish all of my medical exams.”

“Well, let me know if you need anything. A friend of Emma’s is certainly a friend of mine.” Graham nods at her then, that same genuine smile still there. “I’d love to catch up soon, if you’d like.”

Killian’s arm feels like one thousand pounds on her shoulders. “Yeah, Graham, that’d be nice.”

“Good.”

As Graham walks away, Killian turns to say something to her, his mouth gaping, but he doesn’t get a chance to before Marlene is telling them to go upstairs to talk to Killian’s Captain…or almost Captain. She’s really not sure how all of that works. On the entire walk through the double doors and up the elevator, she can tell that Killian is practically vibrating out of his skin to ask her about whatever just happened, but he seems to have enough human decency not to do that.

Or maybe he’s terrified that she won’t go along and tell his Captain that he didn’t lie and this isn’t really a big deal. Though, he seems to have no issue telling other people in the station that he’s married.

If she ever does meet up with Graham again, which she probably won’t, she has no idea how to explain this to him. Then again, why the hell is she wondering how to explain to her ex-boyfriend that she’s married but she’s not really married and he probably shouldn’t beat himself up over the fact that she committed to someone else but not him even though he’s a really nice guy.

She really screwed him over, and Emma still hates herself for that. It’s just…she wasn’t ready.

This should really not be her focus right now, especially as she puts on that fake smile again and relays information to Captain Roberts about her and about Killian and about how they got into this whole mess. Killian getting drunk enough to not remember getting married is not a good look, but his Captain seems to understand. It’s awkward as hell, and she’d very much like to get this entire day and situation over with, but it drags on for at least an hour, going a little longer when he and Killian start talking about the football game last night. It takes her five minutes to figure out they’re actually talking about soccer. Who decided that America needed a different name for that sport than the rest of the world?

But eventually it’s over, which is a huge sigh of relief, and Emma is so damn ready to get out of this station and move on with her life.

“Thank you for that, Swan,” Killian says as they step out of the station and walk up the stairs, cars speeding by and the cranes of the nearby construction whirring so loudly it’s the only noises she can hear. “Can I buy you a coffee or something in thanks?”

She almost says no. she really does. That whole thing was draining, but a coffee sounds so damn good right now. “I like anything with hazelnut.”

“I can handle that.”

-/-

“So, how do you know Humbert? He’s how you knew where the precinct was, aye?”

“How do you know his last name? He didn’t introduce himself.”

“It was on his uniform.”

“Ah,” Emma sighs as she sips on her coffee. She doesn’t know what exactly it is that Killian bought her, but it’s fantastic…and much better than whatever gross thing he’s drinking. There’s no sugar or milk or creamer in there, and she doesn’t understand how anyone does that.

“I’m quite perceptive, darling.”

“I’m picking up on that.”

“And I’m guessing Detective Humbert is some kind of former lover. I’m not sure what exactly the relationship was.”

“I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”

Killian raises his hands. “I understand. It’s just that I quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me asking how the hell we ended up getting married in Vegas. All I wanted to do was get to know you a bit.”

Emma huffs and flicks a sugar packet over at Killian. “You are full of yourself sometimes.”

He shrugs. “It happens.”

“And no offense, but I’m not entirely interested in getting to know your deep, dark secrets. What I am interested in, however, is figuring out how to get this marriage annulled. So why don’t we do that?”

“Discussing my divorce over a cup of coffee in a public café has always been a dream of mine.”

“Annulment, not divorce.”

“Touché, love,” Killian sighs, furrowing his brows as his lips curl into a smirk that has her stomach doing that fluttering thing that she is most definitely ignoring. “Touché.”

He flicks the packet of sugar right back at her.

Killian’s not going to make this easy, is he? At least she’s going to get a free coffee out of it.

-/-

Tag list: @xemmaloveskillianx @stahlop @shardminds @carpedzem @captainsjedi @galaxyzxstark @thejollyroger-writer @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @xellewoods @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @shireness-says @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @ultimiflos @jamif @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @spartanguard @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic

#another kind of green #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan

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puckinghell · 5 years ago

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I’m so excited you’re doing prompts!! Seriously you’re like one of my most favorite writers on here! Your ideas are so original and I wish I could write like you! But anyway I’ll stop fangirling over your writing for a sec and request #14 with josh or mat?? You’re the best 😊

Thank you so much for all your kind words you’re making me smile and blush! I picked Josh because apparently I like writing about him a lot

---

It all seemed so innocent and fun. Dinner at Seth’s place, with Josh and Boone and Cam and Zach and Zach’s girlfriend Odette. A welcome to the new season thing, with the core group of people you spent last season with. You started out as Josh’s plus 1, but quickly became your own person, getting invited to stuff even when Josh wasn’t coming.

“I need a partner in crime, here,” Odette had said with sparkling eyes, but it was mostly Seth, that actually became your partner in crime.

Because Seth, for all he was a hockey player, turned out really smart, or at least observant, because it only took him a few weeks of hanging out with you to notice how stupidly head over heels you are for your best friend.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” his advice had been, but obviously that was dumb advice, so you’d decided to ignore him.

Ever since then, Seth has been the one you go to when Josh is dating around and you need to eat your sadness in ice cream, or when you’re angry because you can’t get yourself to like the cute boy from work.

He’s also the one that kicks you against the shin when you’re being too obviously fond.

Like right now.

You’re not even the one talking; Boone is talking about something that’s wrong with his car, which you honestly could not care less about if you tried, but Josh is staring at you with his chin resting in his hand and his hair tucked behind his ears and his eyes wide and kind, and it’s all just a bit much, so you’re not even surprised when you feel the sharp pain of Seth’s foot hitting your leg.

You turn around to face Boone, hoping your cheeks don’t turn too red, but then you feel something else against your leg.

Definitely not Seth, this time.

You try to ignore it, because Josh is like an overexcited Labrador in the way that he only gets encouraged by attention and being ignored is like a smack to the face for him, because being the center of attention is like crack to him. But when his foot starts to inch higher, travel up your calf and towards your thigh, you snap your head in his direction.

His eyes are twinkling with mischief and he raises an eyebrow at you, just barely.

“Stop playing footsie,” Seth says sharply next to you. “If you’re gonna be like this, you’re helping me in the kitchen.”

Josh actually, audibly whines and you narrow your eyes at him to try and scold him silently; however, he just widens his big blue eyes and it’s really astonishing, the thing Josh has in common with your neighbor’s Labrador puppy.

You’re a strong woman, but even you have your limits. You stand up so abruptly your chair nearly topples to the ground and you ignore the smirk on Josh’s face.

“I’m gonna help Seth in the kitchen.”

“That’s my girl,” Seth says with a smile, which for some reason turns Josh’s puppy eyes into a frown.

“No,” he says, “that’s my girl.”

If your heart wasn’t such a God damn betrayer, it wouldn’t flutter the way it did, and everything would be easier.

“You’re such an idiot,” Seth tells him teammate, although there’s nothing but fond in his voice, and Josh frowns even deeper.

“And yet, she likes me more.”

“I don’t like either of you,” you tell them both, and then you take your glass of wine, drown it at once - because hello, you deserve it - and make your way towards the kitchen.

You can tell Seth is hot on your heels, so as soon as you reach the stove, everything you’ve been holding in bursts out of you.

“Stupid fucking hair, stupid fucking smile, he won’t stop staring at me Seth, staring at me in this weird way and the way he talks, God, can he shut up? Josh, he’s just, he’s always flirting, and it’s not fucking fair, I can’t believe I’m in love with the biggest flirt on the planet!”

It serves you well, really, for having your mental breakdown in Seth’s apartment. You should’ve realized what a bad idea it was, but for some reason, it doesn’t occur to you until you hear a strangled noise come from the kitchen door and there’s Josh, staring at you with big eyes.

For once, there’s no flirty smile on his face, in fact, he looks completely blank.

“Well,” says Seth, slowly, looking from Josh to you. “That’s awkward.”

Awkward is not quite the word. The word would be more like death, at least according to you. You might’ve blacked out but somehow you find yourself sputtering: “You didn’t hear anything!” at Josh and then you’re pushing past him, out of the room, out of Seth’s apartment.

You’re not even wearing shoes.

You’ve just reached the elevator when a door slams, and it’s Josh, running towards you.

“Wait,” he calls out, and you debate whether or not to just book it down the stairs, but you decide against it.

For one, because Josh is your best friend after all, and he deserves an explanation, but also, maybe mostly, because Seth lives on the 16th floor and that’s absolutely ridiculous.

“I’m not a flirt,” are the first words out of Josh’s mouth when he reaches you.

You only have to raise an eyebrow at him for him to sigh.

“Okay, fine, maybe I’m a flirt. But haven’t you noticed that for like, the past 3 months, I’ve only flirted with you?”

You hadn’t necessarily noticed that, but to be fair, you try to lose sight of Josh whenever you go out, because that way you can’t see him flirt with other girls, and it can’t hurt.

But, then, whenever you did find him, he was always with the guys, or, well, with you...

“Oh,” you say softly.

“So...” The grin on Josh’s face is nothing short of devilish. “You think my hair is stupid?” He continues before you can answer. “And you want me to shut up?”

“Sometimes,” you admit, because you’re pretty sure you’ve got no dignity left at this point, might as well go for the truth.

“Do you want me to shut up now?” Josh asks, but once again he doesn’t wait for you to speak. “Cause if you do, I know a way you could make me.”

“You’re so stupid, oh my God,” you bring out, but then you push up on your tiptoes and press your lips against his.

To be fair, he does shut up after that.

#josh anderson #columbus blue jackets #nhl imagine #bff to bf blurb #Anonymous

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popculturebuffet · 5 years ago

Text

The Loud House review 4x29: Brave the Last Dance

In a months late review of a show I watch only on occcasion that i’m doing for some reason: Clyde gets the help of the rest of the Clincoln true to find out if his crush likes him or not: Hyjinks and my smouldring hatred of rusty insues.

With Ducktales only arriving once a week, me missing reviewing and having a lot of time on my hands i’ve decided to branch out a bit.. maybe not a ton, but ocasionally review other animated shows and seasons. If you have any suggetions or any paticular episode you’d like me to look into, let me know.

For now I decided to take a look at a show I mostly watch whenever the mood strikes; The Loud House. I do enjoy the series, but it’s a casual love... it also dosen’t help that I can’t go into the tags without finding reams of incest but I digress. I do still like the show and despite it’s ocasoinal terrible episodes and even worse creator, it’s still a solid series and deserves it’s spot as nick’s crown jewel.. I do wish nick would stop abusing everything ELSE in it’s lineup, but that’s a whole other story. The point is I like the show, but i’m not a super fan like I am for say Ducktales or Steven Universe where if there’s something new, i’ll go out and grabs it immediately. But I do like it. And I do regret not knowing this episode existed for two months because 1) This is a holiday episode and I like to watch those around their holiday and 2) Because dance episodes are my shit. More often than not if i’ts a dance episode of a show, i’ts usually pretty good. Community, Big City Greens, Gravity Falls, She Ra, OK KO, Parks and Recreation.. I really COULD go on indefntiely, but I won’t. Dance episodes usually bring out the best in a creative team, have adorable romance moments, or huge dramatic attacks and everything in between that just makes them awesome to me. So naturally I watched this as soon as possible and my thoughts.. well as with anything they take some context. You see this episode follows a character who has kind of a .. problematic history to say the least and thus has kinda gone up and down in my opinon. Early on, as most of you probably recall, the series was more focused on LIncoln, the middle child and only boy in the the titular loud house among 10 sisters. And given it focused mostly on lincoln and his shenanigans and schemes to deal with living iwth 10 other siblings. Now the show has evolved since then and for the better in my honest opinon: now all 11 siblings share the spotlight and whose in an episode depends on whose needed, and thus each of the siblings has their own supporting casts of varying depths and episodes, sometimes with NONE of the other family members playing a signifgiant role. But since the show was originally Lincoln centritc, it also picked up an extra main character outside of the 11 loud kids and their parents: Clyde. Clyde is Lincoln’s best buddy, a glasses wearing awkward kid whose dad’s sometimes smother him but are still loving kind guys, and who often goes over to Lincoln’s to share in the feeling of having siblings outside of his surrogate brother Lincoln obviously. However early on Clyde, like most of the cast in the earlier days, had about three character traits: being an only child, being a dork and having a near pyschotic crush on LIncoln’s oldest sister Lori which gave him crippling nose bleeds. This would’ve been fine, if a touch annoying, had it just been him fainting and nosebleeding.. but instead, it also causes Clyde to be kind of a dick. He perused her constantly despite her rejecting him for a number of obvious reasons, you know him being a decade younger, her being not intrested, him being more like a second kid brother to her, and of course the fact she has a boyfriend, Bobby. Bobby is the nicest guy around, was a great supporting character, and is probably the reason i’ll get around to watching the casagrandes on occasion. Clyde however treats him like garbage, tried to break them up, and in general was a dick to a guy whose only crime is being in a loving relationship with someone Clyde wants to be with but obviously can’t have. It was annoying with the only time it was tolerable was that episode where Bobby was mistaken for cheating and clyde spent an entire episode preparing to beat bobby up if it was accurate, then upon trying (It wasn’t it was just shenanigans), failed spectacuarlly. Bobby is nothing but nice to him by the way. So yeah it was hard to root for Clyde for a while but eventually it stopped.. not because they had an episode of Clyde TRYING to get over it, they did it just didn’t resolve it, but it was just dropped.. likely because the writers realized it just wasn’t that funny and with bobby put on a bus to the spinoff, they had no real jokes for it and no one really liked the passing out gag. The fact that series creator Chris Savino got fired for sexually harassment is not lost on me and only makes the gag worse. But thankfully the character did bounce back and by season 3, even before savino was thankfully fired, they put the joke to bed with Bobby’s exit, and it is thankfully buried deeper than the bunker where htey keep walt disney’s cryogneically perserved body... what you thought he just kept the head? Why woudl they? Disney was rich and belived in the future. He probably wanted his body merged with some sort of mechanical man. But with that gone Clyde thankfully became what he was in his better episodes: an adorable dork, with two loving fathers. Though now he’s not the only kid on the block with two gay dads.. he and Violet should get matching friendship t-shirts reading “Gay dad club”... and i’ll probably draw that at some point but I digress i’m several paragraphs in and I haven’t even gotten to the episode, and I STILL have one last bit of explostion for context that most of you may not need. That last bit is that LIncoln’s episodes evolved a bit around season 3: instead of JUST being him and Clyde, though that can still happen, Lincoln soon got a circle of buddies, each of whom plays a role in the episode, for reasons i’ll get to in a bit, and part of my reason for reviewing it is to touch on my thoughts about them and my weird love of these episodes. So a breif overview since some of you may not know who they are. Lincoln himself: The former lead and now one of 10, and a great character I enjoy following a lot even if I miss his Zack Morris-esque fourth wall breaks, minus the smug... no one can out smug or out sexually harass Zack Morris. Liam: A country boy and the only one of the intial five besides Clincoln I actually like. He’s a kind hearted well meaning country boy and is always kind and friendly, and reminds me a lot of stinky peterson but with a tone down accent. Zach:... I forget he exists, i’m not even sure this is his actual name. He’s just.. there for some reason and i’m not exactly sure why he’s been kept around now that Stella, who i’ll get to next, has been introduced. But he has goggles and wild hair and that’s.. it. Any of his lines could be said by the others without muchc hange. Stella: My faviorite out of the group, a frieindly girl who was insitally introduced as Lincoln’s third love intrest.. before pivoting to have her not really WANT to be with any of the guys in an episode that’s really good and instead joining the group. She has more personality and energy than most of them, and thus I do tend to seek out an ep if she’s in it. I do also kinda lowkey ship her with lincoln, but only al ittle. her episodde was about hwo every girl who pays attention to you isn’t into you after all and it’s a lesson kids need. I wish I had it when I was that age honestly. Anyways... finally we have the bane of my existance. Rusty: I hate this kid. I can’t stand his goofy face, and I love goofy goof so goofy faces are not a problem, obnovious wannabe ladies man smugness, or his basicaly being the useless asshole of the group. LIke Zach, I don’t get why he hasn’t been written out. Hell Zach I at least get as the generic guy they can slott in. Rusty is just terrible. it’s telling that his LITTLE BROTHER, who showed up in one episode as a love intrest for Lucy, is far more popular.. mostly because Rocky’s actually likeable and isn’t a dipstick. I just hate this kid and want this character written off already. He’s the weak link in the group and is SOMEHOW more obnoxious than Clyde during any episode bobby and him were in the same room. And tha’ts an acomplishment! Gah. I could rant about this little shit all day, but i’d prefer to move on. The episode has a pretty basic setup: Clyde is on the dance comitte, and is a good chef which .. tracks. I do think h’es cooked before and his love of Dessert Storm, a in-series cooking show that the Loud’s love too, has been documented in one or two episodes and cooking does fit his personality: he’s a detail orinted kid, he has parents who have lots of money to spend and have been established to like coooking fancy themsevles, it makes sense he’d pick it up. But it’s the Valentine’s Dance and Clyde has a crush on Emma, one of the girls on the comittee. His friends pick up on this and stellas has an adorable “awww” type grin while the boys all have smug shit eating grins but are all willing to help. It’s part of why I like these eps: the 5 really seem to have a nice rapport and be genuine friends.. friends who all fought over a girl once, except Stella who was said girl, but friends nonetheless, who eventually put said friendship over that. Even if one of them’s a block of wood and the other the bane of my existance, you still get the sense their valued. It’s from there the episode Segues into the standard loud house formula, which is one of the resaons I do only watch the show ocasionally: while the episodes can varry wildly, some just fall into a formula of “character or characters do various things in a row until they realize they were wrong or something”. Now the show HAS had good episodes out of this formula, L is for Love and Racing Hearts, and yes i’m a saluna shipper but the eps are good beyond that, but sometimes it can feel like padding. This is one of those times. Each of the squad tries something to help Clyde find out if Emma likes him or not, he’s too nervous to take it as a sign he should go for it, rinse and repeat 3 more times before the plot finally moves on. This is also why I went into detail on the Clinclon Crew: each one, except Zach because the boy is made of paper mache remember, gets a chance to try helping him out. Rusty: As if you needed proof I wasn’t overreacting, Rusty SPIES ON EMMA WITH BINOCULARS for the plan.. he did not need them, and the joke dosen’t land like it should because Rusty sucks. And his plan is to drench Clyde with cologne and if she comments on it, she likes him. I do however like the joke about how clyde thinks Rusty’s cousin that gave him the plan, proving Dumbass is a genetic trait, had a girlfriend at a camp who probably dosen’t exist. Liam: Liam’s plan is a bit funnier... not because of the plan which like the previous one not really that great but hey their 11 or 12 i’ll give all of them but rusty some slack, because he sucks. But the Clincoln Crew which i’m calling them now so there, head to the movies and Liam says ,d ue to a similar thing happening with his chickens, if a girl sits next to you, they like you back. It’s not entirelys ound but the chicken thing got a small chuckle out of me and LIam does have some odd charisma. Lincoln: And Zach but i’m not convinced they didn’t just swap in a manquin with a tape recorder jammed inside for him for this or any scene. Lincoln uses one of lori’s magazines with some sounder, if flimsy but beliviebly for kids, logic: ask her for a pen: if it’s a regular one they have no intrest, it’s it’s fancy she likes you. like the other two it happens.. but in a resonable bit of writing like the last two Clyde isn’t sure due to a combinaton of insecurity and these plans being as flimsy as the paper they made Zach out of . Stella: Whose grandma can read tea leaves and actually predicted her moving to royal woods, because stella is great. Stella is also damn good at it as she does predict Clyde at the dance, in a chef’s hat for reasons that i’ll get to in a moment. dancing with a girl. Tha’s lal he needs and this bit finally ends. As I said it’s the tedium. While what happens NEXT is intresting enough, you really didn’t need all of those or have enough jokes and were clearly padding guys, come on. So Clyde, and crew, stages an elaborate frencha nd boat related danceposal.. that fails. As you probably figured. Emma is flattered, but shoots Clyde down gently. Clyde reacts as you’d expect: by fleeing the scnee as fast as possible, quitting the dance comitte off screen, and planning never to return, which while overracting, DOES feel realistic. Clyde goes home for some mopey solo time and becomes a tad insufferable, ignoring his friend’’s texts and getting upset as his dad for watching the movie that clearly inpsiried his dance invite plan, depsite it being their valentine’s day he’s interrupting. It woudl’ve played better if he still got upset but iddn’t you know, run in front of their tv and call them out on something they coudln’t of known as he didn’t give them details. Thankfully the mild annoyance is b roken when, after ignoring his friends texts, which granted for Rusty and Liam is probably normal as liam probably talks about drywall and Rusty uses the word dawg and unlike Lincoln dosen’t seem genuinely worried after Clyde, you know, got rejected in front of a large crowd. He’s broken out of his mopey solo time by a call: the person he passed cake duty off to screwed up, and after some urging from Cheryl, the principal’s secretary who Clyde knows personally from past episodes and is head of the dance comitte and an utter delight this episode, Clyde does what any normal kid would do: dawn a flimsy disguise and sneak in there. We also get a cameo from Girl Jordan who hasn’t shown up in forever so that’s nice. Clyde fixes the cake, and Cheryl compares his mustache to a dead caterpillar which was gold, and tries to sneak out only for Chole, another girl, to notice him and stop him. You can probably tell where this is going: She , rather than mock him finds what he did romantic, she also likes dessert storm, he asks her to dance, puts his chef hat back on because time loop,a nd the two dance and even have an adorable bit where they throw their hats to each other. Also Rusty is dressed like cupid and my eyes boil out of my head as the episode ends. Overall it’s not a bad ep. Had a suprising amount to say about it, but overall it’s a decent, cute ep for valentine’s day with a nice amount of friendship and some nice character stuff for Clyde and plenty of gay dad’s and Cheryl. Overall not a bad way to spend 11 minutes in this ongoing apocalypse. Coming Soon: I feel like quacking so I think Iw ill.. take a look at an episode of quack pack that’s donsy related. Until next time courage.

#the loud house #clyde mcbride #lincoln loud #stella #season 4 #reviews

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eponymous-rose · 6 years ago

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Talks Machina Episode #100 Highlights!

That’s right: 100 EPISODES. That’s a lot of great questions, greater answers, questionable pronunciations of usernames, even more questionable uses of overlays, and a++++ excellent dogs.

The entire cast is answering questions this week!

Max runs an (adorable) intro in the above puppet theater, and each cast member gets a title. Laura is The Heart, Sam is The “Funny Guy”, Travis is The Brawn, Liam is The Actor, Matt is The Brains, Marisha is The Face, Taliesin is The Pyramid, Brian is The Convict, and Ashley is The Favorite.

The cast’s entrance is majestic. There are balloons, sashes, tiaras, and champagne. Henry has a tiara too!

The Search for Grog will air this Friday, February 22 at 7 PM Pacific on twitch.tv/criticalrole. If you miss the stream, it’ll be available Saturday morning on CR’s YouTube channel!

Talks Machina and CR will air on CR’s official channels starting today! Starting next episode, TM will be available on CR’s YouTube channel on Thursday at 7 Pacific, and also in podcast form!

Stats: in 100 episodes of TM, there’s been 81 episodes of Brian’s glorious beard. There have been 9 Skype/FaceTime call-ins! There were 244 guest misnomers before that well ran dry. 93 episodes of pre-show hijinks (thanks to Max James!). 95 episodes of Arsequeef. 826 days of being on the internet!

Brian: "The concept of creating a talk show about a D&D campaign has always been absurd to me, so we wanted to embrace that terribleness.”

There’s now a Steve Cam (quietly reading, meal prepping, and ignoring the show), and a Zach Cam (staring at a monitor that’s all just Liam’s chest hair and the Fjord bust), and a Max Cam (dancing in a stripper cop outfit), Lockey Cam (practicing with a sword in front of a mirror and then charging at Daniel for filming it - Brian: “Hopefully Daniel’s non-union.”), Ed Cam (drinking scotch and counting down the days until football returns, and also lint rolling his new goatee), Chris Cam (rapping in the VO booth), Brittany Cam (dancing with a unicorn blanket, huffing compressed air - Brian: “You can’t show that on Twitch!”).

Matt is asked how his DMing style has evolved with campaign 2. “Well... I’ve been forced to embrace a little more of the tragedy in the characters’ backstories.” The internal and external conflict has been really interesting for him to watch and react to. “I’ve learned to be very proud of my players for mucking up my perception of where things are going to go.”

Coming to Xhorhas, Nott’s thrilled to no longer have to worry about the mask. Sam’s excited about the City of Beasts “to see what kind of fucked-up individuals we’re going to find and seeing how Nott will react to that.”

Yasha definitely sympathizes with Nott trying to save her spouse, but “there’s a lot going on with her going back to Xhorhas. It’s definitely triggering for her, but she understands the need to want to go back. I wish I could go to Xhorhas. We’ll see what happens.” Travis: “I’m pretty sure once we go to a place we can never go back.”

Favorite item on the Talks shelves? Taliesin mentions a magnetic Percy mini, Sam likes the tiny Sams (”It looks like my bedroom!”), Ashley and Brian are partial to the Sully painting, Laura loves the Pike painting, Marisha loves all the stuff the cast bought on a hungover voyage to the flea market when they were first building the set, Matt loves a very cool dice tower. Brian likes the Vecna with Marisha’s face. Matt: “I don’t know if I like that one.”

Laura doesn’t like the party using the derogatory term for the Krynn, because she wants people to be happy even if she doesn’t know them. Sam: “I haven’t been the best for that, but if Jester wants me to... I guess I’ll change.”

There are new wipe transitions featuring the Matt pillow and the Fjord bust. It’s glorious.

Gif of the week: Sam calling Travis “studly” for catching the candy. Laura: “...I like that I’ve been cut out of it completely.”

Arsequeef gets the Lifetime Achievement Award for Gif of the Week. He wins Max’s 2006 Honda Accord.

On Caleb taking off his bandages because there’s nothing to hide anymore: “Was that terrifying for him, or a relief?” Liam: “Yes!” He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it feels good. He’s got f...r...iends?” Marisha: “I love that sitcom. (weakly) F...r...iends?”

Caduceus being a source of comfort, insight, and advice was built into the character. Taliesin looked at low INT high WIS, and Matt immediately started laughing and told Taliesin he’d do well with that. Taliesin: “There’s plenty of things that will eventually flap that, but we haven’t hit them yet.”

As a player, Travis doesn’t like to weigh things carefully all the time, so a lot of Fjord’s leardership has been a bit about pressing fast-forward. Marisha: “So what you’re saying is that your Grog’s poking through.” Matt points out that if both characters have a trait, it’s probably just Travis.

Liam: “I’ve got a little Travis poking me from behind.” Marisha, musing: “So many conflicting beards...”

Beau’s prayer to Ioun mostly came from a “couldn’t hurt” perspective. “I’ll try it out. Give it a spin.” When Travis asks, Marisha clarifies that it was Ioun specifically because of the Cobalt Soul. Travis: “Oh yeah, I totally knew the relationship there. I just wanted to make sure the audience did.”

Bugbear friend or bugbear foe? Sam: “He speaks goblin, he seems cool, his name’s Gluzo. He has a hard-to-pin-down accent, but it’s amazing.” Taliesin: “You have a hard-to-pin-down accent, too. It’s something you have in common.” Taliesin gets asked if his insight check revealed that the bugbear is secretly pretending to be someone else. “Yes, he’s just pretending to be a bugbear. He’s actually Matt Mercer.” Laura: “I like him. ‘Cause he’s cute and he let me give him a tattoo.”

Sam: “Nott trusts her friends to be as strong as they can be, and at this point, I don’t know if she’s as concerned with one of them dying as just getting to her husband in time before he dies. If we lose one along the way, Nott will probably cry a little, but will move on.” What if it were Fjord? “Fjord’s expjendable.”

Matt: “I’ve reached a point where Travis controls Yasha in combat, but I don’t consider any of his roleplay canon.” Ashley: “I trust Travis. Barbarian respect.” Laura: “Don’t give him that.” Ashley: “Travis himself is like a Deck of Many things. This is risky, but it’s kind of fun!”

Sam: “That dunamancy shit is lit.” Liam: “And it’s tied up in everything that Caleb wants, so if he can get on the entropy shit and the gravity shit, you know he’s going to go back in time, motherfucker.” Sam is so excited to have these mystery spells because they’re so new, and they’re inherently something they don’t know how to counter or prepare for. Travis: “It’s almost like every time we play D&D.”

Fanart of the Week: a spectacular group shot.

Everyone freaks out over how good Travis looks with glasses. He takes them off and puts them back on sexily for a while. I was too slow grabbing a screencap, but don’t worry, the gifs will be everywhere.

Laura: “Jester hasn’t experienced a lot of emotions. She hasn’t experienced a lot of anything, really. She’s definitely dealt with sadness in her life, but I don’t think it’s been so in-your-face constantly, just the trauma of it all.” Liam: “Yeah, she’s with some very terrible people.” Laura: “While it is traumatic, it’s also been a great adventure, and she’s enjoying being out and doing things. Even if it might hurt her, it’s so much better than reading about it, drawing it, just imagining how it would be.”

Caleb’s still feeling out the shift in his relationship with Nott, but there’s no question that everything they’ve gone through can’t be forgotten or overlooked. “He sees her as an absolute ally no matter what, and will do anything for her. In a weird way, he feels like they’re even more alike than he thought they were, and he loves her and wants her to succeed in what she’s doing, and hopes that the things that he wants don’t fuck it up entirely.” Sam: “Are you talking about Liam and Sam right now?”

Caduceus’ thoughts on Xhorhas? “A new environment, certainly, and a new aspect of nature that he’s unfamiliar with. This is just more terrain to him at this point. He’s also very unaware of the political realities. He’s vaguely aware there is war. He’s still not sure why we can’t just go up and ask for directions from everyone.”

Brian: “That tiara is the most blessed image.”

Travis on the Captain Tusktooth tattoo: “Brand recognition is huge in Xhorhas.” Taliesin: “Viral marketing.” Laura confirms that it’s not likely to change apart from some small differences from tattoo to tattoo. “Each person gets a special google.”

Laura on fans actually getting this tattoo: “I am ALL ABOUT IT.”

Marisha: “Guys! How about instead of M9 tattoos...” Sam: “We let Laura tattoo us? I would legitimately be down with that!” Ashley: “I’m kind of into it.” Liam: “This is what splits us apart.” Laura: “Everybody gets a dick.” Travis: “How would we explain that to our kid? ‘What’s that?’ ‘Your mom did that.’”

Beau is holding back a bit since her impulsiveness started having negative repercussions. “I think it’s about accountability. She’s started to learn--- especially when she first joined M9, she didn’t have friends, really. I think you had to learn, oh, my actions do affect others around me. I think that’s something you can learn and you can grow in, but yeah, she is trying to not be a total fuckwad anymore. Trying. But old habits...”

Favorite TM moments? Travis: “Do you remember that episode where Brian wasn’t the host?” Brian remembers Travis throwing the card that almost took him out. Ashley fondly remembers PullOutKing. Laura remembers Taliesin saying the phrase “I love teenage assholes” (referring to Percy acting immature), and Taliesin is super glad someone brought that up again just when the tweets were finally starting to die down.

Ashley talks about how proud she is about how far Brian’s come, and how great he’s doing at this. Everyone has an uncharacteristically sincere moment of applause for Brian. Liam: “Everyone take 30 seconds to drop the bit that we think you’re a total fucking weirdo. You’re so good at this, and you’re such a good friend, and we’re so glad you’re part of this family.”

Marisha pitches the idea of trying to sell TM syndicated on LifeTime now that they have 100 episodes.

Brian remembers having food poisoning that led to him running off-screen, throwing up in the middle of the show, and then having to come back. Marisha remembers Travis texting everyone that night with “lol, did Brian just yarf on TV?”

Matt talks about how proud he is of Brian for going from zero tabletop experience to co-running his own game.

Talks Machina After Dog ft. Sleepy Boi Henry

“This is the best dog-petting show ever.”

Liam was skeptical about TM initially, because he was worried it would take away from what would be shared in-game. Marisha: “I was stoked for it, not gonna lie. I was very misunderstood and people hated my character, so I was kind of stoked to just get to explain it.” Travis was sold once they picked the name.

Marisha: “It also set the precedent for really dumb, punny names.” Brian points out that, as a channel, they now can’t stick with serious names as their final choice.

Laura’s sister has been watching the show, and she texted Laura after the show to ask what the whisper was, so Laura’s going to tell her and no one else. Liam: “You’re gonna tell your real sibling?”

There’s a horrified discussion about giraffe fighting. Some segues happened in there.

What’s something their characters have done that’s made them proud? Liam: Caleb using the Wall of Fire. Marisha: the Plank King execution episode as a whole (everyone agrees). Travis: “I was proud of hooking up with an NPC when my wife wasn’t here to threaten me with death.” (he immediately turns to Taliesin: “Help.” Taliesin: “No god can help you now.”) Taliesin: “I sunk a boat.” Laura: Proud of not getting caught with Nott in the Platinum Dragon sanctuary. Sam: Taking the blow for Jester so she could escape. Liam: “Molly showing his dick covered in eggs.”

Matt: “I’m proud of you guys not entirely descending into evil madness. I’m proud of the character arcs of being broken, terrible people, and finding out that it’s okay to be broken; you’re not necessarily terrible.” Liam: “The entire cast went, ‘He’s talking about everyone but me’.” Matt thought it was going to be very hard to keep the group together, but the party turned it into character growth moments. “I’m proud of you.” Laura: “Thanks, Dad.”

Yasha loved the arm wrestling. “Oh man, it’s so fun to be the tank.”

Laura: “I’m really proud of us for saving Kiri!”

Everyone has Liam’s chest hair:

Wishes for the next 100 episodes? More Ashley.

Brian: “I hate this coffee table more than anything in the whole, entire world.”

What’s something that should never change about the show? How ridiculous it is, the barrel, Dani. Also always have a dog. They fundamentally do the show for themselves, still, and that’s made it a really good environment for them to open up about the show and their characters.

Liam: “There’s a lot of beauty to what we do, but it’s also inherently silly. And to deny that is silly.”

Matt likes that it’s unpolished and imperfect. “Things are going to go wrong regardless, and you can either get angry and frustrated about the lack of control, or you can embrace it.” Sam: “None of this is real anyway.”

Brian points out that this is not an excuse to stop paying him.

And that’s a wrap! This is the last After Dark for a while, but there are some big ideas in the works for the coming weeks!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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keepseaveyweird · 6 years ago

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Requested- yes! by the best @coolkidcorbyn - blurb idea! what if you worked at a diner and the boys stopped in really late one night bc they are traveling on tour and they are super sweet ofc and y/n has a moment with one of them and later finds a napkin with a phone number and :)

a/n: I changed it just a bit and I’m sorry I take a million years to do literally anything but it’s finally up and a lot longer than a blurb lmao

word count: 2938

She frowned, watching her friends all at the concert without her. Her friends meeting them after the show and singing along to their songs from the crowd. She wanted to go, wanted to see the boys so bad, but she didn’t have enough money and her small diner job wouldn’t give her extra hours to afford it. So instead of singing her lungs out, she sat at work in the middle of the night, sad she missed out on such a fun opportunity to see her favorite band.

She hated the night shift, hated everything about it. Hated the random chores she had to do to make her shift more productive, hated sitting around doing nothing because no one wanted to eat at 2am. Hated weekend night shifts even more because then it was crazy at 2am, filled with drunk or high kids from the local high school who were impossible to work with and never tipped. She much rather preferred the busy mornings filled with old, retired couples who would chat her ear off and tip like no other. Work mornings when the sun shined and the birds chirped and the small town she lived in actually felt alive.

It was not one of those morning though, instead it was a dead Wednesday night. The sun had gone down hours ago, kids had gone home to rest for school the next morning, business men finished their meetings and went home to their families. It sucked living in a drive-by town right off the interstate, where truckers just stopped for a quick break, families used the bathroom so they could continue their road trip to wherever they were going. It lacked fun, lacked excitement and she couldn’t pray enough for someone to come in or for something amazing to happen.

Having stood around, chatting to the one cook on duty for hours, she heard the bell on the door ding, indicating someone had walked in. Her eyebrows crinkled, as well as her co-workers, because it was 1:30 in the morning and no one ever stopped by at those hours. So to say she was surprised when she walked out to see five boys laughing as they continued to trickle in was an understatement.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her knees buckling as she rounded the corner of the counter. They hadn’t noticed her yet, too busy yawning and rubbing their eyes to notice the girl running back to the kitchen to collect herself. Because it was her favorite band, her favorite boys in the whole world that she thought she missed out on, but instead received a surprise visit. She knew they’d pass by on the tour bus, the diner being on the way to the next city, but she didn’t know they’d stop, didn’t think this opportunity would actually happen. So she checked herself in the mirror, fixed her jean skirt as well as readjusted the apron around her waist and walked out as calmly as she could.

“How are you guys doing tonight?” she smiled grabbing menus from behind the counter.

“Great,” Jonah grinned, “how ‘bout yourself?” he was so friendly, so smiley and charming at this hour she couldn’t imagine what he was like when he was fully awake, fully energized. The other four smiled, nodding and mumbling as well, Corbyn making eye contact with her and becoming a shade of red.

“As good as I can get,” she said, leading them to a table near the front and away from the window, just in case because she knew they didn’t want to be spotted. They all sat down, each thanking her for the menu she placed in front of them, nicer than she ever could’ve imagined them to be.

“I’ll let you guys look over the menu, my names y/n so just let me know if you have any questions” she told them, leaving them as she ran back to the kitchen.

“Thanks y/n!” you heard Corbyn yell a bit as he yawned once again.

What the hell is happening, she thought, leaning up against the counter as she let out of huff of air, the older man laughing at her.

“They giving you a hard time?” He asked her as he continued prepping vegetable for the morning.

“No, not at all they’re so nice,” she explained to him, “but you know how I wanted to go to that concert tonight to see my favorite band?”

The man gently nodded, remembering her complaints earlier that night as she drowned her sorrows in coffee, “that’s them,” she pointed out the doorway.

He leaned over to peak out the open door, a chuckle leaving his mouth, earning a glare from y/n.

“This isn’t funny! What do I do?” she sighed, putting her elbows on the counter, head in her hands as she ran her hands through her hair.

“How about you go take their order?” he suggested with a smirk. So, with as much confidence as she could muster, she left the back room and approached the boys who seemed to be giving Corbyn a hard time. They didn’t seem to notice y/n approach, except for the blonde who tried his hardest to hide the slap he gave to Jack’s thigh, but it was no use as Jack groaned and hunched over.

“You guys know what I can get started for ya?” she asked, pulling out the notepad from her apron.

Zach laughed, slapping his menu down onto the table cheekily, “I think Corbyn knows what he wants!” he cackled. She didn’t get it, didn’t catch onto his joke, though she did notice the glare Zach received from him before he faced you with a smile.

“I’ll just have pancakes,” he told you, “please.” The other four couldn’t help but snicker under their breaths, making Corbyn roll his eyes.

“Of course,” she smiled at him, trying to keep her cool. He handed back his menu, his big hand grazing hers while doing so, and his face turned yet a deeper shade of red, something she didn’t think was possible. The other’s orders were taken, mostly chicken strips, and she headed back into the kitchen.

“Thank you, y/n,” Daniel smiled as she walked away, earning a smile as she whisked herself away.

Before she could even hand him the ticket, the old man pointed his spatula at her, fierce and concerned.

“The blonde one, he likes you.” He smiled.

“First of all, which one?” she joked, as Daniel was still sporting his dyed hair, “second of all, that’s false. I’m just the waitress whose here to take their orders. They’re tired and delirious and are like that to everyone.” The old man rolled his eyes, taking the ticket from her hand to begin cooking as he continued to explain how she was wrong.

“I was your age once, was a young man myself. I know lust and young love when I see it, and the blonde with the big eyebrows has it for you,” the older man spoke, facing away, towards the grill. She peeked through the hole in the wall where dishes were served during the busy morning, to see four boys facing Corbyn, deep in conversation over something out of earshot. Suddenly, he looked up and their eyes met through the metal hardware, both freezing for a second before looking back down awkwardly.

He couldn’t be attracted to me? Right? She thought to herself as she waited for her coworker to wrap up the band’s late night dinner.

She couldn’t help but admit Corbyn was her favorite, that he made her laugh with almost every word, every move he made from the comfort of her phone screen. Couldn’t help but be transfixed by his voice and the way he’d answer questions in interviews. Couldn’t help but adore his love for space and marvel at how truly smart he was, even when he made dumb decisions or said something that would maybe contradict that fact. So as they sat there in her lobby, she couldn’t comprehend the fact that maybe Corbyn thought she pretty. That when she came out from the back he couldn’t help but admire her.

“y/n? Are you good?” the cook waved a hand in front of her face, breaking her out of her thoughts as he pushed five plates across the table to her. She thanked him, loading them up on a tray and taking it out to them, where she noticed the moment she came into view they all directed their attention to either her or Corbyn.

I have to know, she thought to herself. As she handed each their food, receiving a ‘thank you’ from each of them, she decided to save Corbyn’s for last as she placed his plate in front of him.

“Thank you so much, these look great.” he told her, looking at her with the prettiest smile in the world. A smile so warm that it could melt the polar ice caps and in that moment y/n was convinced this boy was the cause for climate change.

She placed a hand on his back, taking him by surprise as his eyes widened a bit. Like when a little kid gets caught doing something bad, or when the lights turn on when trying to sneak back in after curfew. His band mates couldn’t help but lose it, tears falling out of Jonah’s eyes as he was laughing so hard, and she didn’t understand what was so funny, didn’t know that the intense conversation they were having was a pep talk for Corbyn as he was so intimidated by her.

“No problem, just let me know if there’s anything else I can get for you guys.” She smiled, looking at Corbyn who was now more red than imaginable while the boys continued to laugh.

“Oh,” Zach started, “I think Corbyn needs to get-” but he was cut off.

“NO!,” Corbyn yelled, “I don’t need anything else, I am perfectly fine, thank you y/n,” he said quickly, and if looks could kill, there would only be four members of Why Don’t We after that night.

The boys ate while she stood there talking to the cook, taking their time as Jack tried to stay awake from their busy day.

“You should tell them you’re a big fan, ask for a picture,” the old man suggested after she had explained to him who they were.

“I don’t know,” she teetered, “I don’t wanna seem like one of those weird fans. Meeting them tonight was enough for me.”

“I think you’ll regret it,” he shrugged.

“Whatever, I’ll figure it out,” she told him, ringing up their check.

Walking out with a check in hand, she grabbed all their plates while Zach and Jack napped on each other and Daniel and Jonah continued to harass Corbyn.

“Do I just pay here?” Jonah asked you.

“Actually you can just bring it up to the front when you guys are ready and you can pay there,” she told them, pointing to the front door where a case of homemade pastries were as well as the cash register. Suddenly, Daniel and Jonah eyed one another, silently scheming.

“Hey Jonah, I gotta use the bathroom real fast before we hit the road, you need to go too?” Daniel said standing up, Corbyn catching up onto what was happening, his face scrunched, concerned and worried for his own dignity.

“Yeah, me too. Corbyn could you pay for us and we’ll meet you outside?” Jonah smiled, shaking the other two awake and dragging them along, not giving Corbyn an option as he threw his debit card at him. He didn’t know what to say, could only stand there and plan how to murder each of them once they were back on the road.

It was silent as y/n lead him to the register where he handed her Jonah’s card, their hands brushing again. And Corbyn felt it, a surge of heat radiating through his body and he had never felt like that before. Especially with a stranger, someone he knew nothing about, only a name.

“I’m sorry about my friends,” he blurted, “they’re all idiots,” he shook his head with a small smile, because no matter how much he wanted to kill them, his love trumped he had for his brothers trumped his want to bury them all alive.

y/n smiled, because she knew, knew all too well that they were in fact idiots but she loved each of them for it. And with a sudden boost of confidence, she decided to tell him that.

“It’s okay,” she laughed, “I’m actually a huge fan of you guys. I wanted to go to your show tonight but I had to work.” His eyes widened, a smile stretched across his face.

“Really?! You’re so chill I never would have known. I’m sorry you missed the show, but…. You can’t tell anyone but I think I can get you tickets to the one tomorrow” he winked, using the confidence she was radiating suddenly to build his own.

“Wait, what? Are you serious?” she asked, a smile encapsulating her face. And Corbyn was mesmerized by it, by her bright eyes and bubbly personality, even though it was almost three in the morning.

“Yeah for sure, on one condition,” he told her.

“Oh no, what is it?”

“You have to tell me who your favorite member of Why Don’t We is,” he chuckled, leaning against the pastry case, “and why.”

y/n groaned, her hands covering her face, “you’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Corbyn laughed, popping the ‘p’.

“Fine,” y/n said, putting her hands up in surrender, “but if you thought I was chill before you might reconsider,” she warned.

“Give me your best shot,” he laughed.

“Okay well unfortunately enough… you’re my favorite,” she blushed, “and I’m not really sure why. It’s like you don’t even have to try to be funny, but whenever I’m watching interviews or listening to you I can’t help but laugh. And your voice is incredible, well all of you are incredible, but you just sound so different and I love your tone.”

By then Corbyn was tomato, red from all the praise he was receiving, because he wasn’t expecting him to be her favorite. Was expecting Daniel or Zach, but he couldn’t help the butterflies he was feeling in his stomach, the way she made him feel, he was just so amazed by her. Amazed by her willingness to be so open, ability to sound so mature while basically fan-girling and he was entranced by everything about her.

Who is this girl? He thought to himself.

“And you’re just so kind and caring and the way you talk to your fans is just so lovely. And you’re so humble and down to Earth even though you have every right to be the most cocky piece of shit on the planet, but you’re not. You’re just one hundred percent you and I love it, I respect it and I love watching you guys grow as artists,” she said, using her hands to explain everything she was saying, “and now you probably think I’m some crazy fan,” she face palmed while he laughed.

“No actually, I don’t. Thank you, thank you so much, for everything you just said. It means so much and I’ve never heard anyone say any of those things,” he said with a smile, something he had been doing since the moment he walked in, “most fans don’t know what to say, or they’re super shallow about their responses. It was nice hearing something different for a change.” He said.

“Well, I’m happy I could be a change in that for you,” she nodded. The other four boys came out of the bathroom, smirking as they the tail end of the conversation.

“Guys! She’s a fan!” Corbyn pointed excitedly.

“Oh my gosh, really? But you were so cool? I didn’t think you knew us?” Daniel said with a grin. The five offered to take a picture with her, the cook coming out with a smile on his face as he held the phone in his hand to take it for them.

“Oh! Before I forget!” Corbyn rushed out to the tour bus and came back with envelope in his hand, giving it to her.

“They’re not front row, but they’re as close as we could get,” he told her, a smile on his face.

“Thank you so much, this means the world to me, you don’t understand!” she said, opening it up as he watched. She pulled out two lanyards and two ticket stubs.

“An extra one incase you wanted to bring a friend, and,” he paused, pointing to lanyards, “two backstage passes for ya.”

“You’re kidding? I can’t take these, it’s too much,” she said, trying to give them back, but Corbyn put his hands up.

“It’s no problem,” he said, beginning to get a bit nervous, “but I was wondering if maybe after the show tomorrow, you maybe wanted to possibly- uh- I don’t know… do something with me? Like a date?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

y/n blushed, “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

The four laughed as they grabbed Corbyn’s shoulder, informing them they had to hit the road.

He turned around, waving goodbye, a smile engulfing his face, “See you tomorrow y/n!”

“See ya tomorrow, have a safe trip!” she yelled, as she skipped back into the kitchen, still totally not believing what had just happened was real.

“I told you telling them would bring you something good,” the old man smiled.

And y/n had never been so grateful for any advice as she decided on what to wear for the date with Corbyn ahead of her.

Tag list: @kvd963 @katie-avery @coolkidcorbyn @technolilly@mycollectionofnuts @joyus-jack

@daniels-beanies @annabseavey

@deanismymom @lavienenchanel

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amazildoessomethingstupid · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 96: Unspoken Rule

Man I thought it would be a lot longer before I did another of these, but as it turns out I fucking hate in between pages. Y’know, those pages between the actual good and interesting shit? Y’know the parts that are in between the fun parts, but you have to have them to actually move characters to the good parts? The parts that are boring and filler? Yeah as an artist/writer I hate those too and it took me most of the week to come up with a page to make it not boring as sin. Sadly this means, ANOTHER RANT! And this time we are taking a look at Unspoken Rule. But before we do, I’d like to share with you the bit of panic that set in and what kind of pressure I had on me when trying to force an update. For a second I thought that this rant was going to be about…

And I was very, very, scared.

Thankfully a friend notified me that I don’t know how to count, so we’re talking about this chapter instead! Boy what a relief that was, I thought. But it seemed a bit disappointing. I hadn’t heard anything of this page, seems like it’ll be a short rant. That won’t do. So I figured, “hey if there’s not much to say. Fuck it, we’ll do a double feature with the carnival…”

Sadly, I have something to say.

And we start with a good lighthearted joke. Although, that expression in the first panel throws it off a bit. The dialogue on the initial read says snark and sassy, but the face says honest concern, but then we show it is snarky. So the face is just, confusing. Not worth kicking up a fuss about, but definitely a headscratcher.

Anyway, on to what’s actually happening. Which is Mike is being nervous and back and forth about wanting to talk to Lucy and apologize. And it’s so weird to me. This is such a serious plot point, and major conflict in the story, yet this is played for laughs. And not even good laughs, just hollow jokes it feels almost tasteless. But not as tasteless as this:

BIG OOF

Alright guys, see this?

I am absolved of this being uncharacteristically brash and open. If Taeshi can do that kind of rudeness, so can I. Lucy is just so cold now, it feels bad. Not out of character, not unrealistic, just…bad.

But moving from that, we get into these two. And…

Awww…th-this is actually pretty sad. And engaging.

HEY! I SEE YOU REACHING FOR MY HEARTSTRINGS! YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY!

But seriously, this a very nice scene. It’s kind of touching, and it’s a moment I wish we had more of.

It’s…actually very nice. The characters are finally airing their grievances, and we’re getting somewhere. I…I actually like th-

OH YOU BACKSTABBING, HACK WRITING, BITCH! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! WHY ARE YOU STICKING YOUR DICK IN A GAS STATION MILKSHAKE?! BITCH,

ARE YOU FUCKING F’REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU FEEL THE NEED TO ADD THAT?! THIS JUST DESTROYS ALL IMMERSION, I ALMOST FELT SOMETHING THERE FOR A SECOND! BUT THEN YOU HAD TO DO SOMETHING SO DUMB! THIS ISN’T EVEN ON THE CHARACTER, THIS IS A STRAIGHT UP WRITING ISSUE! EVEN I WOULDN’T DO SOMETHING THIS DUMB! IT’S SO OUT OF PLACE! IT GIVES ME MENTAL WHIPLASH CAUSE I HAVE TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE TO MAKE SURE I’M NOT JUST FUCKING SEEING SHIT! AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S THE WORST PART ABOUT THIS FUCKING PANEL?!

IT’S IN THE PRINTED BOOK! Taeshi saw this, drew it, posted it, and got whatever feedback from it. Then later came back, saw it, and edited a bunch of things for the book, and decided, “No that’s fine. We’ll leave it there, that’s perfectly okay.” And just left it there! WHY?! You had a good scene, an actual honest to god, good scene. And you had to just make a dumb joke, and ruin the whole mood. This is the sort of bad run and gun cheap gag sort of shtick that you’d expect to see from Volume 1! Except, even Volume 1 knew when to take itself seriously, and maintain that serious tone! I mean imagine if this happened in something like Zach’s talk with Lucy.

Any good graces this scene had, in setting up these two working out their problems and moving in a nice direction is thrown out the window now, and for what?! What’s the purpose? Why would yo-

Oh…Oh no…

Please, have mercy! You already stabbed my back, please don’t stab me in the heart! Please, not like this!

Aaaugh, no! Not like this! Poor Rachel! It’s not fair I can’-

Wait….

I-is…Is that it?

Are you kidding me?

That’s it? Two pages? Really? That’s how you’re breaking it off? This is how you’re going to stab me? Look, there’s like 3 more inches left in the knife, come on. Push it deeper. Twist it, I know you want to. WHY ARE YOU HOLDING BACK? FUCKING WORK THIS SCENE AND MAKE ME CRY!

NO FUCK YOU, WE’RE NOT MOVING PAST THIS!

YOU WROTE RACHEL’S BREAK UP. IN

TWO

FUCKING

PAGES!?

YOU WROTE OUT ONE OF THE MOST GROUNDED, HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR COMIC IN TWO PAGES LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! WITH A HORRIBLE ONE-SIDED DIALOGUE, WHERE RACHEL IS TALKING TO PAULO WHO HAS SUDDENLY INHERITED THE EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING OF A BRICK WALL! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DID IN BUILDING THIS CHARACTER’S ENTIRE ARC AND DEVELOPMENT!? AFTER TRANSFORMING A CHARACTER WHO WAS PORTRAYED AS UNLIKABLE, BITCHY, ANNOYING, SLUTTY, AND DUMB.

To fleshing her out, to be deep, thoughtful, caring, and supportive. Rachel is my favorite character, and it’s not because she’s a slut it’s because she represented something in this comic that had been absent.

Natural character development. That wasn’t brought on by some big event shaking their entire core, and changing them. In fact, one of the best things about Rachel is that despite how differently her character’s reception is from Volume 6 compared to Volume 1, her personality, her attitude, and her core is mostly unchanged.

She’s still slutty, she’s overweight, she’s silly. But a big part of why I love her as a character, and why I think many others do as well, is because never does it seem to be a negative to her. We don’t see her get upset, or self-conscious about her weight, or her sexual behavior, because she’s confident in herself and accepts herself. Not only that, but she’s shown to take charge, stand up and not be afraid to call out what she sees is wrong. And outside of her character…

She was a role model for Paulo. Unlike Jasmine whose relationship was more Paulo bending himself to fit her lifestyle, Rachel was a character who accepted and supported Paulo’s lifestyle, but at the same time helped steer him to do the right thing. And in a comic where almost every fucking character is so intent on dancing around their issues and waiting until it blows up in their face, Rachel served as an example of someone who had it together. A proactive person, who didn’t want to see these characters get worse.

I have ranted and gone off on a lot of decisions and actions that these characters have done, but not once did I ever scratch my head or think twice about something that Rachel did. Her character didn’t need a bunch of insight, and excuses about hormones or “they’re teenagers, lol!” to understand her. She simply was who she was, and I respect that.

In short…

Despite everything that my history with this comic gave me, the feelings I developed from all the bullshit that has happened in this story, despite all of that. It was this one character, what she brought to the table, and what she did for the comic and its characters, that gave me something I thought I’d long lost, and never thought I’d ever regain.

She gave me hope in this comic. That it would finally have its characters be proactive, regain its humor, and bring itself out of the slump it made for itself. With this character, and the writing behind her, I believed Taeshi was finally on the right track, and was setting up something great that would grow the characters and build upon them naturally.

But that’s not what we got. And the real bitch of it is, this could’ve been a real emotional moment. A well executed front-stab. We knew it was coming, we saw the writing on the wall, but we still needed to face the music. It was set up to be a wonderful tragedy, where both parties are well aware of the futility of their relationship. They understand each other, and why it won’t work, but also don’t want to let go. And I was going to make a comparison to Two Kinds, because they had a similar scenario with Trace’s wife and the whole idea of moving on is a recurring theme… But looking back I realized something. I don’t need to bring a comparison to Two Kinds or someone else’s comic, and no I’m not even going to draw a comparison of what I would’ve done in this situation by drawing a comparison to False Idol’s future scene (although I was thinking about that). No, we don’t need to look too far because you know what the real sad part about this is?

We’ve had this conversation before.

And just look at it. Look how heartbreaking this is. This is how it should’ve been. You see that Paulo understands what she’s saying, he knows what she means and how bittersweet their relationship is. It is one of the best moments from the newer volumes, and their inevitable breakup should’ve been a turning point. It should’ve marked a big life-changing moment for Paulo. Where he is sad about how he’s making Rachel feel, but he’s unsure about his own feelings. Maybe Rachel makes the decision for him and breaks it off, and Paulo realizes how hurtful his behavior is, and that he can’t play games with people anymore, that it’s not fair. It could be the moment Paulo turns a new leaf and becomes more mature, and in seeing that; Rachel can let go taking some solace in knowing that he is a better person now.

But instead we got this…

We’re not even halfway through this god damn chapter. Well where is it taking us now?

Huh…and it seems that the writing is not going to change pace either, I wonder where this is going.

Oh boy, everyone’s getting into teams! And oh man, Lucy’s going up against Mike! And boy is this contrived. And what’s even worse, is that despite how much Taeshi has shunned Volume 1 and its stupid sense of humor, and how shoddy it was. Volume 1 wasn’t THIS contrived, and when it was, it was pretty tongue in cheek about it. In fact!

This sounds like something Volume 1 would MAKE FUN OF. But let’s give the benefit of the doubt maybe it’s not that bad. It might have something going on, an-

(It’s interesting, I think I have like 3 reaction pics of Sam trying to shoot herself, but this one just can not be matched. And it’s not even meant for the rants.)

You know what? I’m not even gonna bother going over this part. No one will be seated during the harrowing “Will they won’t they” inconsequential dodgeball fight. Although I will say,

Not gonna lie, that actually got a laugh out of me. Good job. Anyway, Lucy catches the ball and wins the game who cares. But then…

First of all

Look at those arms. Damn Lucy what happened? You’re looking like two toothpicks in a marshmallow. But more than that. Did I read that right?

Yeah! It’s not like you stopped practicing Martial Arts! Why would you? It’s not like you had some serious physical trauma happen to stop you-

OH WAIT!

RECOVERY PERIOD? PHYSICAL THERAPY? PFFFT WHO THE FUCK NEEDS THAT? YEAH SURE, YOU’RE TOTALLY FINE AND CAPABLE BEING A FUCKING BLACK BELT IN TAE KWON DO. SURE! NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE STITCHES AM I RIGHT?

But I’m just combing cotton here, this all just fluff. There’s really only one thing left to talk about here.

And I’ll be honest.

This.

Is…

Pretty good.

This is honestly really well done. There’s nothing I can say about this. It’s a very serious moment, I can feel Taeshi reaching for my heartstrings but I…I’m okay with it. This was the moment I wanted to see. Finally these characters air out some of their grievances. We get insight to how they feel, we are finally getting somewhere. It’s not nice, but it’s progress an-

…

THAT’S THE TH-….

*sigh*

Fuck you too, Taeshi.

Three times.

Three fucking times in one chapter, that you set up something good. Had a good thing going, and then decided to fuck it up at the end. That’s a new record. Even when I expected nothing out of this chapter, you manage to let me down. You astound me with how much you disappoint me. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were doing it to intentionally troll me. But I’m not that vain. Fuck you Taeshi, I’ve said this before but always with the tone of hyperbole, and a bit of optimistic cynicism. But this time I really mean it. I have no more faith in you as a writer. Whatever you come up with, however this ride ends. I don’t think you will pull it off anymore. I don’t think you have the competence to tie this up in a proper way. At one point you could’ve. At one point, I think you had it in you with the mindset, the creativity, and the emotional drive to tell a well-crafted story. But not anymore, and I despise what you’ve become. Let’s get this stupid chapter over with.

What’s next? What are we doing huh? What are we getting at?

Oh…

I see. This is where we’re going huh? That’s what all this was for?

ALRIGHT! Y’KNOW WHAT? FINE! I GUESS THIS IS WHAT WE’RE DOING BOYS! THIS IS THE NEW DIRECTION FOR BCB! LOOK! SHE CALLED PAULO CUTE! OMG THE SHIP IS SAILING, DON’T YOU GET IT? IT’S JUST SHIPPING! THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS! THAT’S HOW WE’RE DRIVING THE PLOT!

FUCK ALL THAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, THIS IS WHY RACHEL GOT DROPPED! IT WASN’T CAUSE OF CHARACTERS NATURALLY CONCLUDING RELATIONSHIPS, IT’S ALL BECAUSE LUCY’S HERE AND WE CAN’T HAVE PAULO’S RELATIONSHIP WITH RACHEL CLASH WITH THAT! SHE’S OUTLIVED HER USEFULNESS! NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT PAULO X LUCY, OR PAULO X DAISY WHICH IS IT? THIS IS THE REAL DRAMA YOU ALL ARE LOOKING FOR! THIS IS HOW WE REALLY MOVE THE PLOT AND CHARACTERS! CHOO CHOO BOYS! ALL ABOARD THE SHIP! LET’S JUST GO ALONG FOR THE RIDE WHERE WE GOING TAESHI? I’M READY! I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO FUCKING LOOK FORWARD TO OR LIVE FOR! SO COME ON, WHERE ARE YOU SAILING US?

I give it a 2/10. Until next time, guys.

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #rant

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amzngphil-rp · 5 years ago

Text

The Ghost of Las Vegas|| Closed Phan AU

@danhowell-rp

Phil? What? Oh..*breath* sorry..who am I speaking to? Oh..let’s just say..it’s him..but better..and that voice is so sexy. Phil!..*breathes* What are you doing?...SHhh Beta...This can’t be you..it’s not like you.. It’s not...

Dan and Phil had just finished their honeymoon buzz, living comfortably in Manchester. Dan had gone into adolescent psychology, working as a school counsellor and working up to be a part of a larger program that helps out youth. He wore his ring religiously, he polished it twice a week and kissed Phil goodbye every day when he went to work. Things felt like a dream, he could get up in the morning and smile at his husband, go to work. He’s motivated, and Phil was motivating him. He was happy, Phil was happy. Zack became a bit of a joke to them and would show up routinely to settle a petty fight brought on by overworking and immaturity.

They hadn’t spoken much about children, much less how’d they’d do it. Their conversations about the future were just as small and baseless as their arguments. Phil was ready, he wanted the settled life of kids and a home with his husband and continue his work as a film production assistant and producer to PJ mostly because he’d gotten bigger and maybe getting some bigger things to work on at the same time.

He was going to get what he asked for, just maybe not in the way would want such a blessing to fall into their lap. It all started when an old friend was treating the newlyweds.

“Well I don’t care, I don’t like how handsy and possessive she is about you when we’re around each other,” Dan explained, brushing his teeth, then walking into their bedroom and putting the toothbrush and toothpaste into a small plastic bag and threw it into his suitcase.

“Dan, she’s just...a little too friendly. And I’ve already talked to her about it and she said that she’s going to talk to you and me so that we reach an understanding-” Phil started to explain before being cut off.

“I’m married. I’m not trying to ‘understand’ how a girl doesn’t know when to give up because she thinks she’s entitled to you in some weird way. I go through it enough..Why does no one think I can handle being with you?!” Dan snapped, face red with an upset. It was very annoying, “You...I know you’re not perfect and I’m not...the strongest, but you love me...why is that anyone’s business?-”

Phil understands, Zack is eating this up. He’s so enveloped in the fact that it gets him every time. And that he’s made all of their friends and some family against him because, honestly, he could do better. However, he’s so much easier to control than others- it doesn’t take much. As they finish their quick hug, he sighs at the other and gives him a smirk, “You’re gonna be okay with your parents?”

“Yeah, pfft! You kidding? Ever since we got married, they’ve been so excited about my married life and things, so I just get to keep talking to them about how things are going and what we share and all of that,” Dan explained, “Also my brother wanted to ask about my honeymoon..I’m looking forward to going home for the first time in a while..” He really was, and he wished he could have his man with him to make it all worth it, but Cat wants him, and he’s gotta be fair.

“Well I’m going to talk to her about taking over her lease in the states, so we have a summer home when she moves to Las Vegas...It’ll be nice, right?” Phil assured him, “It’s mostly business and catching up...she plays poker and stuff now, you know?”

“It just means she’s better at lying,” Dan giggled.

Cat and Phil hugged as he walked from baggage claim and quickly loaded his things into the car.

“Vegas, huh? It’s crazy thinking you live among all this...gambling and buffets..and water displays,” Phil started as Cat drove.

“I play poker competitively now...I’m really getting into it, and I really really needed the cash,” she explained, giggling. Her chest rising and falling with a big sigh.

“So uhh..you getting a smaller place right?”

“Yes, I am, and you guys said you wanted to take over my lease..I was wondering how..that was going to work,” she began. Phil sighs, “No, no, no! I mean it! You guys don’t have permanent citizenship in the US...”

“We do now..we have dual citizenship between here and the UK so that we don’t have to fly so far to go home to relax.”

“Well, what’s gonna happen when you guys have kids, you know?”

“Probably gonna keep the house, so they understand that their parents have a proper experience about our two places we love. We’d probably send them to school in the UK, though..summers, Christmas in the US, that kind of thing.”

“Oh...so..you guys have all the paperwork to apply then?”

“Oh yea, absolutely..”

“It’s a..pretty stressful process, you know, gotta make sure that your income and credit line up. Criminal background checks and...things..It’s Vegas, after all, they don’t need gangsters and mob bosses moving into their facilities temporarily and things like that.”

“Well I’m sure it’ll be a lot easier seeing as we’re just a gay couple,” Phil chided with a soft chuckle.

“You’d think so..it’s a little tricky,” Cat said slowly, making a turn towards the long road from the airport to her new apartment, “I just remembered that I left the keys at my place..uhh is it alright if I go and grab it?”

“Yeah, yeah...no problem. You can give me a tour while I’m there!” Phil said, looking at the upside.

Cat turned the car in the direction of her new place as they continued talking for some time; then an awkward silence fell over the vehicle. Phil knew what it was about. It was the same old conversation- well, argument.

“Phil, I am really proud of you for doing your thing and I’m glad I can help you anyway that I can,” Cat began after taking a deep breath.

“Don’t start,” Phil cut her off, knowing this beginning too well, “I can’t believe you’d even talk about this outside of our wedding day, you promised!”

“I know what I promised, but-”

“But nothing. You are not always going to bend rules and cross boundaries because you see something that you want-”

“Phil, all I know is that things weren’t this stressful when we were together. You weren’t bisexual when I met you. You and I were having so much fun-”

“Zach is why you liked me being with you,” he mentioned.

“Who the hell is Zach? I recall only being with you and what you and I did-”

“Cat-”

“Are you even replacing your memories of me with memories of another guy?! I cannot- actually cannot-”

“Catherine, shut the fuck up!” Phil snapped, causing Cat to immediately stop and look at the man and then quickly back to the road as they were at the stoplight. Phil was slightly panting and staring the girl down to imply that he was serious. “Zach- okay well, you see...Zach is me, but it’s a whole other part of me. He’s aggressive, sexual, and, more importantly, manipulative. I’m bisexual, yes, so what happened between us was real, but it’s only from what I remember. Back then, I didn’t really know or remember anything else. They’re Zach’s memories.”

“So...like a twin?” Cat asked, furrowing her brow as she finally was listening to Phil.

“Yeah, something like a twin. He just liked to come and go with my anxiety and I didn’t really know that until I was at the Youni and I got treated for it. They made me keep a journal for when I had any thoughts that weren’t my own, to Zach filling the book out himself and even though I love Dan, he’s his obsession. Meaning that good or bad, he wanted Dan. He had already worked you through and so he was setting up how things were going to be.”

“Oh...wow...so this apartment thing-”

“Is both an apology and me showing Zach who has control here.”

“That-That....It sounds like a really tough thing to go through. I’m sorry Phil...Well, why don’t I..uhh take you out, to dinner or lunch?! After the tours we can grab some food at this place that I take my friends to on their birthdays, I mean, it’s not your birthday, but you’ll like it a lot!” Cat said as they pulled into her parking space in her garage.

They toured the large suite and played with Beta for a little while before they grabbed the keys and went back out to the other apartment. Their drive had gone so normal and casual, like back when they were in school together. They hung close and when they got to the apartment, she looked at the large space again and sighed. Phil came up to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She leans into the touch and smiles at him rubbing her arm. He kisses the top of her head and walks her out of the apartment. “You’ll be okay, I promise. You’re gonna be the 20-time World Series of Poker Champion Cat Valdez with a.. I dunno, a Pepsi sponsorship...” Phil reassured her, knowing how hard it was for her to have to sublet and turn the lease over for the apartment to live in a smaller place with only one dog.

[Incoming Call: Daniel]

Hey Sweetie! How’s your jet lag?

*groans, sighs* Ugh..it’s harder when I didn’t have you to sleep with on the plane..

Oh baby...*chuckles softly*

How’s it going with the witch?

She uhh..took it well. She did come around to what was going on after I had explained...

But..?!

No-No! No “but”. She’s completely understood what’s going on and she told me that she apologizes for making our relationship hard and any part of our marriage hard...

Wow..well, only time will tell

I know, Danny...Let’s just be happy we can sleep in the states after this.

You mean sleep in the states alone?

Yeah, sleep in the states alone.

Hey, Phil..

Yeah?

Can we get an apartment in Japan, too? Cus we like being there, too!

Maybe. We’d have to prove we’d live there-

Well, the kids can live on their own or we can rent out the places and live only in Japan!

Okay..maybe later..

You promise.

I promise, husband.

Several Weeks Later....

Dan and Phil sit quietly, cuddled up and scrolling through Twitter and not really watching some TV show. They would exchange small kisses and jokes here and there and the two could not be happier or more at peace. Phil’s phone rings and when Dan sees it, he moves back a little, looking at him confused.

“She wouldn’t call you unless it’s important,” Dan reassured himself, and answered it for him, but quickly handed him the phone. He got up and grabbed the empty bowl on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen. Phil could hear water running as he washed out his bowl and heard Cat’s voice over the phone.

“Uhh is Dan there?” she asked, timidly.

“You know he is, he’s gone a stepped into the kitchen for a tick. What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” he asks, his stomach beginning to turn. To be safe, he put the call on speaker.

“So I don’t want to alarm you, but uhhhm. You said that when Zach is present, you like..don’t remember what happens bc it’s a completely different set of memories right?”

“Yeah...why? Did something happen?”

“It’s more of what already happened-”

“Catherine!” Dan piped up as he walked back into the room, “What the actual fuck are you saying?”

“I’m saying, before I was rudely interrupted, that I’m pregnant!” Cat said, now exulting a smile in her voice and now her distress sounds more like pride. He can hear her holding herself and laying her bed with Beta, biting her lip in anticipation.

“Ha, very funny. Nice to hear from you again,” Dan blurted, completely incredulous that she called them with a prank. The prolonged silence and distress on Phil’s face, soon melted his sass into rage, “Phillip Michael Lester-Howell....is she telling the truth?”

“I’m telling the truth. I’m 5 weeks already. They told me the time of conception was around the last time I saw Phil-”

Dan immediately hangs up the phone when he rips it out of Phil’s hand, putting it on the couch and storms into their bedroom. He was so blind with rage and upset. He did a few laps around their bed, and then went into the hall closet to grab his luggage. He began silently, yet aggressively packing much of his dark clothes as tears began to stream down his face.

Phil was frozen. The color he had left had vanished from his face and he was a statue. He called Cat back and took a deep breath, “What happened?” she asked before he could even say anything.

“Dan’s leaving,” he said gruffly and quiet, “And I don’t know what will happen next.”

“What will happen next...is that I come out to England and get the best maternal care that you have to offer me.”

---

[Incoming Call: Phillip]

What?

Dan, h-how’s work going on for you? Alright yeah?

Yea I guess. How’s the alien doing? Is she done vomiting all over our house?

Not quite.

Where is she even sleeping? S-

Don’t. She doesn’t sleep with me. She sleeps in the guest room. She told me it’s more comfortable because our bed is too soft.

That’s good. So if I came over I could smell you all over my side.

Yes, I wish I didn’t have the whole bed to myself...

Well until the bed you made leaves, I’m standing my ground, babe. I miss you though...

This is stupid. Why can’t you live with her?

Because she hates me. You know that she hates me. And especially when she knows that we’re keeping the baby.

She’s a girl...

I know that, Phi-

No..I mean, she’s having a girl...We’re gonna have a daughter.

Oh...I wanted...*scoffs* I actually didn’t know what I wanted..(Is that Phil?)

Hey Bryonny...are you taking good care of Dan for me?

More than you’ll know! I appreciate you basically giving me a husband.

I’m only renting him out, so don’t get too crazy, okay Bry?

I get that. I barely see him. He’s usually out or he’s talking to PJ or Joey or something. Also he works, so he’s usually busy.

Keep taking care of him for me. And can you put him on again?

Sure thing love.

Babe, something is wrong..

I’m fine! Stop worrying so-

No I mean something is wrong with me..

What? You’re dying of a broken heart?

Daniel...I think Zach is gone..

What?! Are serious?

Yeah...I haven’t had an episode in a long time..No journal entries or anything. I think I need to go to the doctor...

Well that’s a good thing..right? No more Zach making your life hell?

I don’t have a good feeling about it..

Look babe. I know it feels weird not having him around, but it’s probably for the better. It should mean that it’s the start of new things to come.

If..If you say so...(Philly come here! She’s kicking!) Uhh I’ll see you later. I’ll come and visit some time this weekend. I’ll take you to lunch or something.

If I don’t have something to do but then, then I don’t see why not...

Alright (Phiiiill!)

You should go see what she wants. Look, I love you, miss you.

Love you, miss you...

#dan #phil #persephone

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omgokiguess · 6 years ago

Text

i’m bored so i’m doing this

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

no but however sometimes i date people solely because of their looks

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Honestly? no

3. Are you a virgin?

4. Are you in a relationship?

5. Are you in love?

6. Are you single this year?

yes

7. Can you commit to one person?

i’ve cheated on everyone i’ve ever dated so i’m gonna go with no

8. Describe your crush

which one? i guess i kind of have a baby crush on my instructor but i go back and forth with it because he’s not very attractive. but he’s really smart, two PhDs from MIT and really fucking good at data science.

9. Describe your perfect mate

somebody that makes a lot of money and generally doesn’t give a shit what i do and idolizes me

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

11. Do you ever want to get married?

indifferent

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

i forgive pretty much everything. damn christianity taught me to forgive too well

13. Do you get jealous easily?

not at all

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

we went through this

15. Do you have any piercings?

nose, two hip piercings, normal earrings, left ear has the double piercing, left here has a piercing on like the thickest part of the ear, and right ear has a piercing about half way up

16. Do you have any tattoos?

the integral sign i posted a few days ago

17. Do you like kissing in public?

i fucking HATE it and think the only place it’s acceptable to kiss in public is like at a bar where absolutely everybody is hammered

20. Do you shower every day?

i try to yeah

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

i know for sure a number of people have feelings for me

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

honestly probably

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

yeah but not for a year

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i kinda doubt it but that would be really nice

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

don’t care

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yup

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

i don’t think so but one of my exes did a lot of portraits of me

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

yes

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

yes

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

not seriously but if i could get some sort of cosmetic surgery i’d honestly really want lypo lol. yes i know that requesting that would put me into a mental hospital

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

mostly monica but yeah

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

i honestly don’t believe in the concept of romantic love anymore so no

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

yes sometimes i accidentally get crushes for my gay guy friends. also silp and i sometimes have a weird thing going on i guess

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

uh yeah monica

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

all of them

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

it’s my number one kink so yes

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

yes

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

my hands honestly don’t need to wander i find nothing more pleasurable than just kissing

43. How long was your longest relationship?

a year and a half

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

seriously? 3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

probably around 12

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

last year oh god like 2017? honestly probably like 2

47. How old are you?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

nothing but i’d probably be surprised

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

don’t have one

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

honestly.... yeah i’d take monica back i miss her all the time lol

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

g, barrington leo, yervand, silpa, darch, miko, jeni

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

i’m really quick to give up on people so yeah, just none of those listed above

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

no not this time

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

monica

55. Share a relationship story.

hmmmm this question is too vague

56. State 8 facts about your body

i’m 5′8.5″, i’m currently a 32b, most clothing stores i’m a size 2 pants size 4 top cause my shoulders are huge from swimming, i’m a shoe size 7.5, (if you can’t tell the only thing i know how to do is list objective facts lol), i’m pretty proportionate but my legs are a little long i guess, i always have really long and strong nails, i think my best color is light blue, my skin is generally pretty dry and it’s been like that my whole life

57. Things you want to say to an ex

if i was really drunk i’d probably wanna tell monica that i will never love someone as much as i loved her again

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

be down for adventure (most important), buy me things, make me laugh, be as smart as me (not that important tbh), idk a fifth

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

blonde, nose ring, green eyes, idk. i look just like my sister except she has brown curly hair

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

oh yikes um 27 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

i’ve never understood this question, you can’t notice one thing first

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

idk but for some reason i’ve always had a thing for people licking fire, like when they lick out a match. idk

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

orgasm

64. What is your definition of cheating?

two people audibly declare exclusivity and one person breaks it

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

honestly i like quickies lol

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

fancy weekend getaway with a beach and lots of champagne

68. What is your sexual orientation?

all over the place

69. What turns you off?

short men, clinginess

70. What turns you on?

i feel like that’s been expressed at this point

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

i’ve always loved the concept of group sex lol

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

anything degrading and rude

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i don’t know i don’t need shit like that

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

wealth

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

hmmmmmm tbh i’m not sure on this one

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

again i’d have to think about this but i do often do elaborate things for my friends and SOs

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

do not give one single shit as long as both people are of age.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

god idk

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

i really haven’t felt jealousy in years, i don’t remember

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

the last time i remember is telling leo when he left the car to get on his flight back to chicago

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

hmmmmmmmmmm good one

clay.... idk if you guys ever got a pic of him but he’s fucking hot, ariana grande lol, and tbh i don’t really know any famous people and i feel like that’s what i’m supposed to use to answer this question

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

fucking calvin lol

83. Who was your first kiss with?

this guy on a cruise i went on named zach

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

age difference lol

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

sure

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wdw-jonahseavey · 7 years ago

Text

All In My Head {J.A}

Plot/Prompt: Tori Kelly's song 'All in my head'

"I see you with her and it crushes me inside

Guess I should stop thinking about you all the time"

Y/N and Jack have been friends for a few months, they had met through Corbyn's girlfriend Christina. Y/N took liking to Jack and a crush formed not to long after they became best friends. Her and Jack were always together, until Aspen came along. Jack and her have been drifting apart and it's not something she liked to admit to herself.

"What's up with you lately?" Corbyn asked Y/N as he sat down beside her in the 'Why Don't We' house.

"What're you talking about?" Y/N asked in faux confusion. None of the boys knew her crush on Jack and She planned on keeping it that way.

Before Corbyn could reply Jack and Aspen entered the kitchen. They happened to be laughing obnoxiously loud, which caused Y/N to roll her eyes. She didn't have a problem with the girl. In fact her and Aspen got along well until Jack stopped hanging out with her. Corbyn was fast to notice how Y/N's emotions changed right as she saw the pair together.

"Hey guys." Jack greeted Corbyn and his old best friend with a smile. Y/N rolled her eyes and left the kitchen heading up to Jonah, Daniel, and Zach's room. "What's wrong with her?" Jack questioned when she left.

Corbyn had shrugged before leaving the room.

"Maybe this is what I needed, maybe this is a sign

Maybe I've been blind to reality baby tell me."

"Just move on, Y/N. He's falling for Aspen, you don't stand a chance against her." Y/N mumbled to herself trying to convince herself to move on.

She didn't want to move on but she also didn't want to be a footnote in someone's love life. They weren't even friends any more seeing as he had ditched her. She was hoping that her and Aspen could've been friends. That was before everything had happened. She wasn't gonna blame the entire situation on the poor girl. Jack didn't have to let a girl come between them, he also didn't have to ditch her.

"Wanna go see a movie?" Y/N was knocked out of her thoughts by Jonah who was sending her a concerned look.

"Oh, yeah. That sounds good." She replied as she slipped her vans on and followed Jonah.

"What's the deal with you lately?" Jonah asked her as they began their journey to the movies.

"What're you talking about?" Y/N forced a laugh as she said. Jonah could tell she was lying about everything. She was like his little sister and he wanted to know about whatever problem was going on.

"Y/N, you're like my little sister. You can trust me, so tell me what the real problem is." Jonah told her.

She sighed giving in, "I like Jack, but seeing as he ditched me for Aspen I can tell that the feeling aren't mutual." Y/N told Jonah. She felt a little bit relieved once she told him. Maybe that's all she needed was to open up to someone.

"Every little glance my way

every time you wanted to hang

You seemed so interested

could you tell me, was it real or was it all in my head

was it real or was it all in my head."

during the movies with Jonah, Y/N couldn't stop thinking about all the things her and Jack did before Aspen. Even the things that Jack didn't know she noticed.

She smiled to herself as she remembered the side glances he would always give her. He tried his best to hide it and he would've if she wasn't looking at him too. Instead of confronting him about it, she just hid her blush and acted like she didn't notice.

She smiled as she remembered all the times that Jack had called her just to come over and hang out. She had met Jack through Christina but not to long after they met she moved to California for herself. She always cancelled or stopped what she was doing to hang out with Jack every time he called.

She could've swore that he was going to ask her out a couple times while they were out and about in the city. He would always stop her in the middle of whatever they were doing and say he had something to ask her. He would always freeze up or stutter and immediately cover it up with a fact or a question that she didn't want to know about.

Y/N shook all the thoughts of the boy she had a crush on out of her head as she turned back to the movie scream. She didn't want to be a downer as she spent the day with Jonah, besides, he was trying to make her feel better.

"She's so pretty

you two look so great.

time for me to move on now,

it was probably just a silly crush anyway."

"You need to get over him, it's not healthy." Jonah told Y/N as he sat down with her on the couch in the WDW living room.

"Obviously. I couldn't compete with Aspen even if I tried." Y/N mumbled. Jonah shook his head in disapproval of what she had just said. "What now?" She asked him with an eye roll.

"There is no competition." Jonah told her and she gave him a humorless laugh. "You need to stop downing yourself so much." He added.

"It's this thing I've always done." she informed him and he shook his head again.

"Well, you need to stop and I'm gonna try to teach you." Jonah told her which made her laugh but she nodded anyway.

Jack stared inside the 'Why Don't We' house with jealousy in his eyes. He didn't now exactly why he was jealous, you two were just friends. To be honest he couldn't even remember the last time you two had hung out.

'Are we even friends anymore?' Jack thought as he tore his gaze away from Jonah and Y/N to look at the sky.

"Was it real or was it fake?

was it all a mistake?

Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head?"

Y/N had been living her most carefree life recently, Jonah had helped her forget somewhat about Jack and move on to bigger and better things. She was know a famous Youtuber with over one million subscribers, even thought it's only been about six months since Jack ditched her and Jonah made a plan to help her forget about her feelings. She knew it was mostly Jonah, Christina, and Corbyn that helped her get that many people to watch and subscribe. She thanked them everyday for it though.

"Were you and Jack ever dating?" Y/N read the tweet as she was filming a Q&A video. her mind flashback to everything. She knew that they had never dated but she was starting to wonder If their friendship was fake too. Why else would he forget her so easy?

"No. We did not." She answered almost bluntly.

Maybe Jack was just a mistake of the past.

"Did you ever feel the same

was my mind just playing games

boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head?"

"Jonah!" Y/N squealed as she ran into the WDW house. "Film with me?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and started begging him.

"Sure." He laughed. She thanked him and let go of him to go to the kitchen and grab a water.

"Hey." Jack said once she walked into the kitchen. She gave him an awkward smile before walking over and grabbing a water. "Can we talk?"

"I guess." She shrugged as if she didn't care. Considering she didn't care anymore it was probably the most honest emotion she had.

"What happened to us?" Jack asked her with a confused expression on his face.

"Seriously?" She asked him in disbelief. "You ask what happened to us? You ditched me once you and Aspen became close. You never wanted to hang out anymore and every time I asked you always told me you had plan with Aspen." She snapped as she started to walk out only to be stopped by him.

"I never told you that." Jack said confusion clear in his voice.

"Yes, you did." Y/N told him as she shoved her phone in his face.

He looked down at the texts like he hadn't seen them before. Y/N gave Jack a weird look as he studied the texts.

"I never sent you these." Jack told her as he handed her phone back.

"Whatever you say." She told him with an eyeroll before walking out of the kitchen and to set up with Jonah.

"Every little glance my way

every time you wanted to hang

You'd seem so interested

could you tell me, was it real or was it all in my head?

Was it real or was it all in my head?"

"I promise you Y/N, I did not send those texts." Jack told her.

"How do I know you didn't delete them?" She snapped looking at jack's phone.

"Because I have all of our conversations saved on there!" He yelled getting frustrated.

"Why would you do that?" She asked in confusion.

"Because I have feeling for you!" He yelled out causing her to flinch from the tone of his voice. "I always have, ever since we met." He added in a whisper.

Before she could say anything Aspen's voice rang out in the room causing the pair to turn towards the girl, "I have a confession..." She trailed of.

"I texted Y/N those things. I was starting to fall for you and I didn't want her taking you away, I knew how much you liked her. I thought that if she moved on then you would like me back." Aspen told the two.

Jack was shocked and Y/N was angry.

"I'm so sorry guys. You two are meant to be. I finally understand why they ship you two and hate on me and him." Aspen told us. Y/N sent her a small smile for her apology.

"Everyone makes mistakes." Y/N whispered in an understanding manner.

Aspen sent her a friendly thankful smile, "Well, I'll be going now. Again, I'm sorry for the drama I've caused." She then walked out of the kitchen leaving the two alone together.

"You like me?" Y/N asked Jack as she sent him a smile. He nodded as a blush came on his cheeks. "I have feelings for you too, Mr. Avery." She added.

Jack smiled and closed the gap between them with a kiss. Something he had been wanting to do with Y/N for a long time.

This wasn't the first imagine that I've written (I have two in drafts) but it's my first published one... I hate how this turned out because I think it sucks but, oh well I guess

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boomboomboomwayhoo · 7 years ago

Text

do you like pranks? ~ jonah marais

a/n: requested by @jonahmaraisgirl this took me so long im so sorry im a flop

you were walking towards the curb just a few feet in front of you to catch a taxi for a ride home. so far, your day had been pretty shitty, and you wanted nothing more than to just go home and cry. at work today, two of your colleagues along with your boss yelled at you for something that wasn’t even your fault, and on your way home from work, your car’s radiator blew, meaning it was currently in the shop which was the reason you were catching a taxi in the first place.

“hey, uh, i’m really sorry and i know this is super weird considering i don’t even know your name but do you like pranks?” you heard a male voice ask, making you stop walking and look up to see who was asking you the random question. you titled your head up to look at the boy who looked about your age, but was maybe six inches taller.

“y-yeah, i guess so,” you stuttered, being too captivated by his beauty to talk without your words getting caught in your mouth.

“first i should ask if you have anywhere to be right now because i don’t wanna hold you back for anything,” he told you, smiling down at you and blushing a bit for a reason that you didn’t know. you looked over to the street right next to you and saw that there were no taxis nearby, meaning that you had some time to spare.

“yeah, i was gonna get a taxi home but i’m not in a rush,” you explained to him.

“great!” he smiled before quickly putting his hand on your shoulder that was closest to the street and pushing you away from it a little bit, taking you by surprise.

“i, uh, sorry. there was just a car coming and it was going fast and just, yeah,” he giggled, causing your heart to flutter for a reason that you could not quite figure out. “do you wanna maybe go stand over there so we aren’t so close to the street?” he asked to which you nodded. as the two of you were walking away from the street, he began to explain his plan.

“okay, so first off, my name is jonah.”

“y/n,” you replied.

“that’s really pretty,” he complimented you, sounding a bit dazed. you only smiled and shifted your gaze to your feet, hiding your blush.

“alright, so i’m in a band with my four best friends and they pranked me a few weeks ago and i wanted to get them back, so i was thinking that i could find someone, you, to come back to our house with me and pretend to be my girlfriend but then hit on all of the guys when i leave the room and it’ll freak them out and they won’t know what to do,” he rushed out of his mouth, causing you to giggle slightly at how much he thought this out.

“sure, i’m down,” you replied, quickly growing more comfortable with him.

“really?” he smiled widely. “thank you so much! this is gonna be epic!” he exclaimed, side hugging you out of instinct, resulting in him going completely red.

“so, um, i live about ten minutes from here so are you okay with walking?” he asked you, and you agreed.

the two of your began to walk in the direction that he was originally going in when he stopped to talk to you, somehow ending up talking about how pineapple does not belong on pizza.

“it’s just not right!” you called out into the cold, night air, him bursting out into laughter at how passionate you were. once you both calmed your laughing, you both walked in a comfortable silence, however you could feel his gaze burning into the side of your head.

“you’re really really beautiful,” he told you out of the blue, making you blush madly, but luckily it was too dark for him to see.

“and you’re really really handsome,” you replied without giving it a second thought.

“thank you,” he said shyly as you walked up to his front porch.

“okay, so how are we gonna do this?” you asked once the two of you reached the front door.

“um, we could hold hands?” he suggested. you nodded, thinking why not, and reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers perfectly. you smiled at you and put his hand on the doorknob, and just as he opened it you whispered, “you have really soft hands,” resulting in him bursting into shy giggles.

of course, right when you two walked in, the four boys that you had heard about were sprawled out on the couch, and they all turned to face you when they heard jonah’s laughter. their eyes were all wide once they saw your hands locked together.

“oh, uh, hi guys,” jonah said shyly.

“hi,” replied the curly-haired one.

“who’s this?” the blonde one smirked, causing you to blush rapidly.

“this is y/n, my girlfriend,” he informed them, squeezing your hand a bit tighter, this action going unnoticed by the others.

“dope! i’m daniel!” exclaimed one of them as he jumped off the couch to introduce himself to you. he walked over and gave you a hug and you could tell that this would be fun.

all of the boys came and gave you hugs, and when the little one came up, he whispered ‘nice one’ to jonah, resulting in jonah slapping him on the back of the head. the small boy who i later learned is called zach, gave you a tight hug and you made up a handshake right on the spot, causing the rest of the boys to burst out laughing at how in sync we were.

jonah took your hand in his quickly after, causing your stomach to erupt in butterflies. you knew it shouldn’t have because this was all just a prank, but it continued to happen throughout the entire duration of the night.

after about an hour of talking with the boys about anything that came to mind, jonah stood up, excusing himself to the bathroom and sending you a wink on his way out, signally you that it was your time to make the move.

about twenty seconds after he walked off, you turned to face zach and stared into his eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time and then reached an arm forward, running your fingers through his hair.

“i really like you’re hair. super soft too,” you mumbled under your breath as you continued to play with it, pulling on the roots a bit and twirling it around your fingers. not enough to hurt, just enough to let him know what you were doing, or at least what you were pretending to do.

jonah purposefully cleared his throat as he was coming back into the room, letting you know he was there so that you could get back into the spot you where in before he left and act like you was trying to hide it. you faced forwards again and sent zach a quick wink before smiling at jonah and taking his hand back in yours as soon as he sat down.

this happened a couple more times as the hours passed, bring us to around midnight. jonah kept making the dumbest excuses like he ‘had to pee again’ or he ‘needed water’ or anything really that would get him out of the room and out of sight. you were sending winks to all of the boys throughout this entire time, but zach was really the one you were moving in on, mostly because he was seated right next to you and seemed the most gullible.

just as jonah came back into the room for the third time, you threw a wink a corbyn and licked yours lips. as a result of this, his eyes shot around to all of the other boys as if he was asking them what to do. they must all be telepathic or something because they nodded at the same time and then corbyn stood up, asking jonah if he could talk to him in the kitchen for a second.

they were gone for a while. zach was playing with his thumbs out of nervousness, and you shifted uncomfortably in yours seat because the room was so dead quiet, and you hated that. finally, after another minute or so, you got up and walked towards the direction that the two boys walked in earlier, trying to find them. you spotted them in a heartbeat and a small smile made it’s way onto my face at the sight of jonah. you could only see the back of him but he looked like a giant teddy bear. all you wanted to do was cuddle with him, but you couldn’t because this was all just an act.

you walked up behind jonah and corbyn stopped his sentence when he spotted you. you stood on your tip toes and rested your chin on jonah’s shoulder. since he was considerably taller than you, it was quite difficult to do this, but you did.

“hi, baby,” jonah smiled, turning his head to the side and planting a kiss on your forehead. your skin instantly felt hot there, like it was on fire and was about to melt off. but it was all just a prank. all of it.

“corbs, i’m sorry you feel that way,” jonah smirked, looking at corbyn, “but i’m even more sorry that this whole thing was just a prank. we aren’t actually dating!” jonah exclaimed, his face breaking out into a smile, but there was another story being told in his eyes that i couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it was definitely something.

“you’re such a dick!” corbyn called out, playfully punching jonah’s shoulder, the one that you weren’t leaning on.

“what happened?” jack asked, walking into the room with daniel and zach behind him.

“they aren’t actually dating, he did this to get back at us,” corbyn rolled his eyes and all the guys groaned in response. they all yelled at jonah for a few minutes before returning to the living room, leaving you and jonah alone in the kitchen.

“that was perfect, thank you for that,” jonah smiled at you, leaning back on the fridge and looking down at you, a smile plastered on his face.

“yeah, it was fun,” you partially lied. it was fun but the whole time it was so perfect that it hurt you when you realized that none of it was real. the two of you stared at each other for a while longer before jonah pushed himself off of the fridge and attached his lips to yours. it took you a moment to process what was happening before you kissed back and you both pulled away, breathless.

“y/n, would you do me the honor of actually being my girlfriend?” he asked, his left hand still on your waist and his right hand on the nape of your neck.

“i would love to,” you replied truthfully before the two of you returned to the living room, hands locked together.

“guys, we know it’s a prank. you can stop now,” daniel laughed. you and jonah looked at each other before jonah replied to daniel.

“it’s not a prank anymore,” he smirked before pressing his lips to yours again, resulting in the rest of the guys whistling like crazy.

this is so shitty im so sorry

#whydontwe #why don't we #why dont we preferences #why dont we imagine #jonahmarais #jonah marais #jack avery #jackavery #daniel seavey #danielseavey #corbyn besson #corbynbesson #zachherron #zach herron

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austinpanda · 4 years ago

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Dad Letter 060720

7 June, 2020

Dear Dad--

Another week full of stuff has happened! Last night we had our first thunderstorm here since Zach and I moved to Maine. We literally had not heard thunder since we left Texas, about nine months ago. It still scares the cat; thunder causes him to go sit nervously in the meatloaf position someplace behind a big piece of furniture. I forgot how much I like the sound of thunder! Also the rain helped clean my car.

I’m having an interesting experiment in sleeping! I’ve been taking an antidepressant called Mirtazipine, and while it doesn’t do shit for my depression, it helps me fall asleep, and sleep through the night. Recently I ran out of it! But I decided to try living without it, to see how I liked it. Now I’m back to my usual routine: takes longer to fall asleep, I wake up more often, get back to sleep less easily, and wake up a lot earlier. You know, it doesn’t help that the stupid sky starts to get bright when it’s 3:30 in the stupid morning here! When you experience the longest days of summer in Maine, those days are really, really long. When the Summer Solstice happens--on the 20th, I think--the days will start slowly shortening again. It’s weird, though! You’ll wake up, and it’ll be broad, eye-burning daylight outside, and you look at the clock, and it’s still 4:45 a.m.

Other stuff that is happening: I’ve been working on a quest in a video game for weeks and weeks now, and the game just fucked me on my quest. Now it’s going to take weeks and weeks to be able to try again. (Why would you do me that way, video game?) But that’s a very first-world problem, and I’m going to try to keep it in perspective. The game just made me do something that’s going to make me have to play a lot more of the game in the future, and...yeah, I should expect that’s exactly what the game makers wanted to happen, the fuckers. It’s a really good game (Animal Crossing).

Not much new in the bird world, although this morning it seems to be all about starlings. I see adults with their adolescents. One adult keeps picking up chunks of suet and trying to head-butt the stuff into its kid’s mouth, with varying degrees of success. We had three chipmunks visit at one time yesterday! Since I named the first one Old Deuteronomy, we just refer to the chipmunks as “doots”. Yesterday we experienced a rare triple doot! Also, one or two of the chipmunks don’t run away from me any more. I went outside to toss birdseed around yesterday, and there was a chipmunk, and I kept throwing seeds closer and closer to it, and it just kept ignoring me. Finally I took a big handful of birdseed and gently threw it right on the chipmunk’s head, and it STILL IGNORED ME. (I could hear Zach snicker at me through the open window; he’d been watching.) I guess it was enjoying whatever it was finding on the ground. Brazen little bastard.

They’re adorable. We’re trying to learn to identify the individuals, but, you know, they’re chipmunks. They all look substantially the same. Perhaps if we put a big colored tag in its ear. Then I’d have to buy some chipmunk ear tags, plus whatever you use to give ear piercings to rodents. The main reason I’m calling them “doots,” however, is because my brain has a hard time coming up with the word “chipmunk.” Every single time. The first name that comes up is, “Muskrat,” which is wrong. Then, “Meerkat,” which is equally wrong, then “Mongoose,” and then eventually I get to “Chipmunk.” I assume this is proof that I’m galloping towards senility at a good pace.

We’ve been trying for months now to obtain a new kitten, and it seems our efforts may finally be paying off. We’ve been watching Blackie, the poorly-named village whore of a kitty who’s been pregnant. I let a couple of weeks go by without checking in with Clint, who’s taking care of her, and when I checked in, he let me know she’s already had the kittens. And this is the third time a cat has had kittens under the floor of his house, so the plan has already formed, all by itself. For the time being, Blackie is coming out for food, then going back under Clint’s trailer to nurse them. When the little kitties are ready to step outside and start learning how to be cats, they’ll do so. That’s when we know it’s safe to snatch one and start what will probably be six months of continuous “Awwwww!” noises.

We have big plans for the new kitty, mostly as they relate to how he’ll adjust to living with Samuel L. Jackson, and vice versa. We want them to like each other, and they’ll probably start out severely NOT liking each other. Our plan is to wait until both kitties are asleep and then sort of smush them together. We have high hopes of eventually getting mauled by one or both of them.

Oh, I had another adventure with radios recently. One of the nicest gifts Zach ever got me was something called a Tivoli Model Three. I’ll include a picture of one. A Tivoli Model One is just a really nice radio in a wooden case, with a big dial, and a nice speaker. They’re handsome, sound good, and can last a lifetime. A Model Three is just a Model One, but with a clock in the front, and a snooze button, so you can use it as a clock radio. My clock stopped working! It made me temporarily sad, because it’s supposed to last a lifetime, and my clock stopped working. But because it’s such a nice (and expensive) radio, I considered looking on the internet to see if there was anyone who could repair it.

Of course there was! I found a place called RockportRadio.com, and they specialize in Tivoli radios, and can fix just about anything. Many people feel that the wee light that shines over the face of the clock is too bright, and these guys can actually make it dimmer for $30. Anyway, I emailed them and said my clock didn’t work, and it made me sad. They pointed something out to me: there’s a battery compartment, and if there’s no battery in there, the clock won’t go. For some reason, everything having to do with setting the clock and, you know, KEEPING TIME, runs entirely off the battery. Somewhere back a few months ago, I’d simply removed the battery, perhaps when we were moving here, and I didn’t learn the clock wasn’t working until much later, so I never associated the two. I put in a battery and it works fine now. I emailed the guy back and thanked him for saving me some money.

I think of you every day! Stay safe, stay indoors, and paint something! All my love to you both :D

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