#mostly because that's his fucking husband and he looks amazing how dare you

[vulturereyy]

Sir Hegemol attends the Lifeblood Court :)

Bonus:

[dtmsrpfcringe]

the definitive dictionary and almanac of Tinhattery

hi, this will be a list of the main misogynistic accounts, definitions people have questions about, accounts you should follow and abbreviations— let’s gooo!! If you’re tagged in this I probably put you on the accounts to follow section. Adding a cut here because it’s long and gonna get longer

definitions!!!!

LCB- Used to stand for letscoffeebreak, she has since changed her username to dejadestalkearmeloser.

NGO- Nightgoodomens

Ingrav, Amy- Ingravinoveritas.

tardisrose- thetardisisblueandroseistoo

Tinhatters- A group of (mostly) tumblr users who think everything in these two relationships are fake and the women are abusive and the men want to run away.

Queeranoners- same as above, my favourite way to refer to them, coined by the amazing @theeminentlyimpractical

sheenbergs- Mix for Michael and Anna’s name

sheenbergnant- the amalgamation of the four bad bitches we love

sheenant- ship name for David and Michael. (Remember kids: shipping is cool but it’s fictional!!)

DT- David Tennant (Georgias husband)

MS- Michael Sheen (Anna’s boyfriend)

GT- Georgia Tennant

AL- Anna Lundberg

PR- public relations

GM- a…delegitimising way of referring to Georgia by refusing to use her last name. Instead use her maiden name. Note how they don’t refer to David as David McDonald

APAT- usually used by tinhatters (stands for Anna Plain And Tall) to refer to Anna Lundberg

PR (Tinhatter definition) - an omnipresent being forcing two rich white men who constantly champion human rights and lgbtq acceptance into a hetero relationship because they just are so oppressed and abused and not because they love their partners!

PR (actual definition) -the professional activities of an agency hired by a person, company, or other entity to shape, create, and manipulate that person/company’s public image. A public relations firm is often useful in helping a company manage its media reputation when a crisis happens, in order to attempt to minimize false information or slanderous statements which could damage reputations.

Shipping- Shipping (derived from the word relationship) is the desire by followers of a fandom for two or more people, either real-life people or fictional characters (in film, literature, television series, etc.), to be in a romanticrelationship. Shipping often takes the form of unofficial creative works, including fanfictionand fan art.

Shipping (Tinhat definition) - NO THEY HATE THEIR PARTNERS AND WANT TO FUCK EACH OTHER LOOK HE BLINKED IN HIS VICINITY THEIR PARTNERS ARE ABUSIVE I SWEAR

GREATEST HITS (posts that killed Tinhatters, feel free to submit your favourites in my inbox)

The breakdown of an anon

tassel jokes

backstreet cringe

Ingravinoveritas admitting it

Laurens amazing fuck off post that snowballed into half the fandom straight up saying fuck you to these people

HALL OF SHAME (Worst of tinhatters, again feel free to submit more)

• Taraiha’s rivals meltdown

NGO hates this fandom for…calling her out

it’s not a choice to be weird and creepy about people’s lives! (Again shipping is fine. This shit is not!!!)

it’s okay if you attack women just don’t criticise Michael Sheen (no idea what she was talking about with David) this same lady had another absolutely dog shit post I guess she removed?!

How dare women…have fun at their birthday parties?? (Part 1)

for a group constantly sexualizing David and Michaels every movement we can’t stand when a woman shows a little chest and has fun

Accounts you should follow!!!!:

@goodomenswarning - same purpose as this account, hilarious, an amazing friend

@badaziraphaletakes - calls out shitty takes in good omens as well, so much more level headed about toxicity than I am but I love talking shit with them. @thegeorgiatennantblog - best Georgia content

@fightingalgth8rs -bad bitches calling out extreme sexism

@phoen1xr0se - one of the best and I devour everything she posts

@davidtennantgenderenvy stands up for what’s right in the fandom, one of my idols and stuck up for me during a vulnerable time.

lmk more I need to add because I’m definitely missing some

THE REPEAT OFFENDERS (booo 🍅🍅):

Ingravinoveritas- one of the bigger ones, refuses to believe Georgia does anything nice for David, or that any of them actually like their partners. Can’t stop fetishizing gay male relationships to save her life. If David blinks he apparently wants to be bent over. Likes to pretend she’s not as bad as the others but has some of the wildest takes and said she felt threatened and scared for her life at someone making a Shakespearean reference. Professional victim

Nightgoodomens- a particularly nasty motherfucker. So toxic she’s quarantined. Misogynistic, ableist, um…yeah not much to say there except for the fact that apparently anything that David does that involves his wife means he’s forced into it. Would rather see them as abused puppies than accept they love their partners. Heavy on the homophobia and bi erasure since yes, fetishization isn’t allyship, it is homophobia. Everything is PR. She doesn’t know what PR means nor that David and Michael are not nearly important enough to have a 24/7 team controlling all social media and personal aspects of their lives. Neil gaiman apologist who blamed his sexual assault revelations on David’s support of trans people. Denies women flirting with each other and boils it to PR friendships??!?

Dejadestalkearmeloser- pretty much the same as nightgoodimens, flips shit when you call her out on it, I mean look at her pinned post about me and you’ll see. Also apparently I’m every account that doesn’t like her. Seems to have a problem with lesbians not liking her (wonder why lesbians don’t like the misogynistic people who only talk about the lgbtq community when it comes to fetishising mlm relationships)

Thetardisisbluesndroseistoo- flips shit at Georgia getting credit for anything, lost her shit on someone saying that Georgia has educated David on lgbtq allyship (he quite literally said himself that she does) later deleted posts when I called her out. Can’t stop laughing at that

invisibleicewands- really, really creepy about Anna, delving into her past and family to try and find…something. Body shaming. Mom shaming. The usual misogyny.

dtmsrpf- I guess a spoof on my name, belongs to one of the others on this list. The usual misogyny with a particular axe to grind against their looks and other things. Definitely a little salty.

georgiatennantunofficial (instagram)- extremely fucking gross. Body shaming and misogyny. Usual. You guys see a pattern yet?

[ladykailitha]

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? Part 10

The boys spend their day in Indy just having fun and getting to know each other a bit. Also what happens to Steve at the thrift shop actually happened to my husband. He and a group of friends went to a thrift store to find the wildest outfit they could put together and my husband’s outfit shouldn’t have worked, but did.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4 Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8 Part 9

*

Steve pulled away from the hotel parking lot and looked over at Eddie. “You ready for the only portion of this shindig that I’m paying for?”

Eddie laughed. “I still worry about breaking your bank, Stevie.”

“I’m using my dad��s ‘emergency’ credit card for this, sunshine,” Steve replied. “And if asked, I’ll just tell him that the earthquake caused minor damage to the house.”

“Steven Alexander Harrington are you committing fraud?” Eddie asked all wide-eyed with mocking shock.

“One, how the fuck do you know my full name?” Steve asked. “And two, it’s only fraud if my father didn’t authorize my use of the card, which he did. Regardless of what the use is for, I can’t commit fraud.”

Eddie laughed. “It was on your medical leave forms. I may have had Robin peek while you were still out from dehydration and low blood sugar. Something I still need to kick your ass for by the way.”

Steve snorted. “Traitors. The both of you. And until you can catch me, sunshine, I think I’ll be fine in the ass kicking department.”

Eddie pouted.

Steve reached out and stroked his cheek. “Did anyone tell you, you have the most beautiful eyes ever?”

Eddie leaned into the touch. “Not usually. Mostly they’ve been called dirty or muddy. Though, I do recall my mother calling them chocolate buttons, but that’s more cute, than beautiful.”

Steve dared to take his eyes off the road for a brief second to smile fondly at him. He turned back to the road. “You are by far the most amazing person I have ever met. But if we’re being honest, I think I was attracted to you before the Upside Down bullshit.”

“Right back ‘atcha, big boy,” Eddie teased.

They pulled up to the first thrift store and it was closed.

“Stupid places being run by religious nut jobs,” Steve groused on their way back to the car. “Don’t these assholes realize that poor people don’t work nine to five?”

Eddie shook his head. “And what would you know about that?”

Steve looked over at him confused. “You do realize that I have a held down a minimum wage job for the last year, right?”

Eddie frowned. “But why? You have access to your dad’s credit cards. Why work if you don’t have to?”

Steve buried his hands into his jeans’ pockets and leaned up against the door of the car. “Until I turned eighteen I was given an allowance to do whatever the fuck I wanted. Usually beer and weed. But when I didn’t graduate top of my class to get into all those fancy schools, they cut me off. The credit card I have access to is for ‘emergencies only’. And paying the house bills.” He cocked his head to the side. “And for making sure I continue to look the part of their dutiful son.” He waved at his clothes.

“But I decided to say ‘fuck it’, you know,” he continued. “Since I’ve turned eighteen I don’t think they’ve stayed in that house more than a week or two at most. And that’s total, not at a time.” He kicked at the pavement scuffing his sneaker. “If they can’t be bothered to come running home when the god damn earthquake was on the national news, then I’m going to go hog wild. I’m going to have fun and give the best, bravest boy a day of fun. Because he deserves it. Because I deserve to give it to him.”

Eddie pulled Steve into a hug. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Sometimes I forget that I’m not a mind reader and can’t actually know what goes on behind closed doors.”

Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and buried his head into his shoulder. “I just hate that even the people closest to me still apologize for me being a dick in high school or act like I haven’t changed. Like when Nancy and Robin picked me up from the hospital they were teasing me about me about something that Robin thought was misogynistic but it wasn’t. But they acted like they expected me to be. Just because of that’s how I would have been in high school.”

Eddie rubbed Steve’s back. “Maybe it’s because I’ve had time away from you since high school I can see that you’ve changed. You call me brave. But honey, I only did what I had to to save Dustin. But you? Darling, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most people don’t literally put their bodies on the line for people that hurt them.” He leaned back so that he could see Steve’s face. He reached up and cupped his cheek. “People unconnected to them via blood ties. You and Robin could have walked away at any time. And probably should have after being tortured. But you didn’t. You stuck around. You fought against the toughest bad guy even in fantasy terms and you still stuck around. And that’s worthy of praise in my book.”

Steve let out a sigh and nodded. Eddie pressed their lips together.

“Come on,” he said, pushing Steve to the side so that he could open the door for him. “There must be thrift shop not run by poor people hating bastards.”

Steve laughed and got into the car.

Eddie hurried to the passenger side and pointed at the road. “Tally ho!”

Steve just shook his head and did as he was bid.

*

The next shop was open and while they were looking for band shirts, they also decided to see who could come up with the tackiest, most horrifically colored monstrosity of an outfit.

Eddie won. Even though Steve had picked outrageous colors, wild patterns, and a mishmash of styles when he put it all together, it looked good. Eddie laughed so hard.

“I don’t know what happened,” Steve whined.

Eddie looked around before pulling him close. “I do. You just have this perfect sense of style that even when it’s supposed to be awful, you make it look good.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “I guess so. I wish I brought a camera to take a picture of this, so we can show them back home.”

Eddie’s eyes lit up. “I’ll be right back!” He took off like a shot running around the shop like a gremlin. He came back a few minutes later with an ancient looking Polaroid camera.

He took a couple of pictures of Steve in different poses and then had Steve do the same with him.

They paid for their purchases. Eddie having found and bought the camera at the thrift shop. What had taken the time was finding film for it.

They went out for lunch and Eddie took a picture of the two of them at the restaurant, smiling into the camera.

Eddie took Steve to his favorite record store. They wandered around and abused each of their music tastes. But they both agreed that Depeche Mode brought something new and interesting to the genre. So Steve bought “Black Celebration” on cassette for the ride home.

Eddie looked up at the guitars longingly.

“Wayne told me that he was only able to find your acoustic,” Steve said softly, “but not the Warlock after the earthquake.”

Eddie nodded. “I think it was because it got destroyed in the Upside Down, it didn’t exist in the Top Side anymore.”

Steve gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I’m sorry, Eds.”

Eddie nodded and they left soon after.

*

They palled around Indy for a bit. Taking in the sites and just giggling like school children.

They headed back to hotel to shower and change for dinner.

As they opened the door to the hotel room, Eddie said, “You don’t have some other mega star going to meet us for dinner, do you?”

Steve laughed. “Not for dinner, no.”

Eddie eyed him suspiciously. “What do you mean not for dinner? Does that mean Ozzy was the only super star or does that mean I’m meeting someone else later?”

Steve just grabbed his bag and ducked into the bathroom without saying a word.

He just took a short shower and got out quickly. He came back out to see Eddie rummaging around a large black gift bag.

“Ozzy’s team finally delivered,” Eddie said. “You have one, too.”

Steve walked up to the bag that was on the fancy side table near the door. There was a tag that said, “For Steve, the guard dog.”

He just shook his head and took it over to the bed to look through what he got. There were a couple of tour shirts and some cassettes. A signed tour poster. At the bottom of the bag were two small boxes. There was a little note attached to the largest of the two boxes.

“Every good guard dog needs cool sunglasses.” Steve opened it up and on the inside of the top of the box was some designer from England that he only vaguely recognized because his mother had gone on and on about them the last time she was home. The glasses weren’t round like Ozzy’s but they weren’t sharp like Steve’s.

They looked like the guy in the suit’s sunglasses. Carefully crafted to cover the whole eye and rest comfortably on the bridge of his nose. He put them on and holy hell. He could see clearly but through the tint of the glass. They were far superior to fancy sunglasses he bought.

Eddie whistled. “Looking good, Stevie.” He saw the other box. “What’s in that?”

Steve looked down at the smaller box in confusion. “I don’t know yet.” He opened the lid and gasped. It was a simple necklace with a single red crystal hanging from it. The crystal shimmered like a flame.

“Wow,” Eddie murmured. “You’re wearing that tonight, yes?”

Steve could only nod. Not wearing it would feel like he was insulting Ozzy’s tastes or rather his wife’s Sharon’s. But also because it was beautiful in and of itself.

“You think it’s safe for me to take a bath or no?” Eddie asked as he stood up up from the bed.

Steve looked at his watch. “I’d wait until we get back tonight. We still have eat and get into our clothes for the concert.”

Eddie nodded. He got a quick shower and was back out in minutes. They put on clothes similar to the night before, with just the dinner jacket the same.

Steve kissed Eddie sweetly on the lips and Eddie hummed happily.

“This trip just keeps getting better and better, sweetheart,” he said, resting his forehead against Steve’s.

“It isn’t over with yet,” Steve promised. “There is so much more coming. So so much more.”

Eddie sighed. “You are too good to me, baby.”

Steve kissed him again. “I’m really not. It’s the perfect level of awesome for you.”

“But too good for Dustin, right?” Eddie teased, reminding Steve of what he said at the hospital.

“Taking him to Indy for the weekend would have been too good for the butthead,” Steve deadpanned.

Eddie burst out laughing. “That’s certainly true.”

Part 11  Part 12 Part 13 Part 14  Part 15 Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20

Tag List: @anaibis @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @whalesharksart @nburkhardt @snapshotmaestro @shrimply-a-menace @theotalksalot @child-of-cthulhu @bookbinderbitch @cr0w-culture @punctualhowell @obliosworld @eddiemunsonswife @sharingisntkaren @dididisrespectyourbridgegoatman @lillemilly

[riveranova]

(A/N): Some IkePri as Roommates Headcanons, because my own roommate is making me want to eat my cactus. :,)

The IkePri Guys as Roommates x GN! Reader - Part 1

Warnings: Nokto's a lil bit Spicy, honestly mostly crack

Characters: Gilbert, Silvio, Keith, Sariel, Rio, Clavis, Notko, Ikemen Prince

Word count: 1.044

Gilbert von Obsidian

honestly, menace

i'm 100% sure that he does not know how to cook

doesn't he like to poison peoples food? yeah.

but like, hes not doing it on purpose - he has this really cool game of thrones cookbook which he uses for almost all his meals

hes having three mental breakdowns and calls his mother two times which results in her just not answering the phone anymore

has no problem with asking you for help tho

when you enter the kitchen you have to look twice at what he made

,,Idk why it's so orange, I didn't even use orange ingredients!''

You get my point

otherwise hes actually very nice to you

hes still the kind of guy who would laugh his ass off if you fell before helping you up

hes keeping a clean room and follows the cleaning plan for your apartment

i imagine him to get cold SO easily - like you'd rather catch this man dead than with an open window in winter

80/100 would roommate again

Silvio Ricci

*sigh*

the complete opposite of Gilbert

hes using those italian roots

dont you fucking dare cook without him because lo' and behold, this man cooks like he worked with Gordon Ramsay his entire life

he insists on wearing his rings tho no matter what hes cooking which results in him cursing like a sailor every five minutes

husband material in the kitchen

the rest,,, not so much

i imagine that he does clean but like BARE minimum

like, the barest - the line is ON THE FLOOR

vacuuming the floor but not under furniture, that bad

he doesnt get why, he never sees it anyways and he has better things to do

i think his rooms smells very good, like eros from versace

problem is, it smells A LOT

so now your entire apartment smells like eros from versace

if you have a sensitive nose, I'm sorry for you

60/100 would roommate again

Keith Howell

okay so lets say Keith is uh,,, less fucked up

he mostly keeps to himself but if he needs something, he asks you

you don't know how he does it but you never hear a peep out of his room - as if he just sleeps 90% of the day

hey, maybe he does - i could almost relate

if you guys get along well, hes actually a really sweet man

his actions speak louder than his words tho

you need something build? ask Keith! you need something carried up (or down) the stairs? ask Keith! there is a fucking huge spider in your room? ...run, because Keith wouldnt touch that thing for the life of him

i imagine that hes as quiet as he is because my man is studying

straight A student but is shit at explaining things so he can't really help you

you both end up crying if he tries to exlpain math to you

80/100 would roommate again

Sariel Noir

it feels like your living with your grandma

in the most amazing way possible

dont get me wrong, i love Sariel but I'm 100% sure that this man would act like an old lady

he loves these really old tablecloths that look like this

puts them everywhere too - on your kitchentable, on the little drawer by the frontdoor and i BET the even has them on his desk

like omg little versions of them for his flowers and like little pots with random shit in them

i bet he makes them himself too

hes way to old to be a student but for the sake of this, lets say hes in his 20s

also a straight A student and, obviously, really great at tutoring

you guys share the same classes and that saved your ass more than once

he takes the tutoring seriously, very seriously

he doesnt whip you when you fail, he rather makes you do chores around the house for longer than you'd have to

90/100 would roommate again

Rio Ortiz

puppy dog boy l

i can't not see him as anything else

you guys knew each other before you moved in together

when you told him that you needed a roomie, he made sure that he would be the one moving in with you

obviously in love with you, doesnt even hide it

makes sure youre never hungry, everything is clean

i'm sure that even if you guys had a cleaning plan, he'd just clean before you have the chance to

simp

also, a yes friend

dyeing your hair? yes. cutting your hair at 2am as a result of a mental breakdown? yes. randomly rearranging your bedroom? yes.

loves to cuddle

spends a lot of time in the living room, waiting for his pray (you) to fall into his trap (the sofa) to be violenty (softly) ripped apart (cuddled)

you have to remind him to relax once in a while, hes not your butler after all

100/100 would roommate again

Clavis Lelouch

*sigh_pt.2*

i mean, at least it doesnt get boring around him

opposite of Keith, hes loud as fuck in his room

watches 'try not to laugh' challenges only to laugh 90% of the time

he loves to prank you (really now)

he once put bleach in your shampoo but ended up using it himself on accident

he played it off as planned, mastertrapper clavis doesnt fail

doesnt cook for himself, he snatches food from you

tried his hand at baking and it actually turned out good

it looked like a disaster

he ruined the taste by putting random shit in it to prank you

,,don't worry, it tastes better than it looks!!'' *hides the tuna can behind his back*

youre actually the one tutoring him

he finds studying boring af so he just doesnt do it

straight B student because the universe is unfair

his room is a mess which follows him wherever he goes

60/100 would (think twice about) roommate again-

Nokto Klein

:I

fuckboy (in the most insulting way possible)

i cant keep defending this man

isnt home, like ever

only if he brings people home

no matter the gender, he brings them home

results in you having a lot of akward run-ins

is also really loud in his room for.. reasons

definetly tried to fuck you once and even if you say no, the flirty-teasy remarks never stop

he'd never disrespect you in any way tho

if you look past his fuckboy-self, hes actually a gentleman

if hes home, that is

helps you with homework (if hes home)

cooks you food if you dont have time (if hes home)

you dont know where he is, you guess that hes partying

hes with his family - mostly Licht

due to,,, problems,, he and Licht hat to stick together

hes still visiting bars after

40/100 would (really question myself if we) roommate again

[georgiapeach30513]

Through The Looking Glass

Summary: Jefferson thinks you’re perfect

Pairings: Jefferson X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, smut, unprotected sex, PIV sex, self love, mirror sex, fingering, oral sex (F receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.4K

Previous

Series Masterlist

“What did you just say?” Jefferson turns to glare at you, and you take a step back away from him. “Oh no, my beautiful Sugar Cube, what was it that you just fucking said?”

Tears blur your vision and you take another step back from him, but he takes a few long strides towards you, and nearly drags you into the room of mirrors. Spinning your body in front of everything. Starting to remove your dress, but you recoil into him. “Look. Look I say!”

Your eyes finally drift to the mirrors, but you keep your sight on Jefferson, “I said to fucking look, Sugar Cube.”

You move your eyes to look at your own reflection, and Jefferson sighs when that first tear breaks through, “Do you know what I see?”

You shake your head no, and dare to look at his beautiful marble face, “I see the most beautiful woman in the world. The woman, I just had to have. A woman that puts up with my ever changing personality. A woman that is so sweet and such a slut at the same time. A woman who welcomes trouble, because she knows that I will bring her down. I see you. I see…you.”

“No,” you cry, shaking your head.

“Someone who has become fiercely protective of me. Does what she can to keep me happy. And I’ve failed you. I’ve made everything about me, and I’ve failed to make you see you. You’ve become blinded by me, when it’s you that holds us together. You’re the reason we are where we are.”

His hands slide over your skin, allowing your dress to slip to the floor. Moving those magical fingers across the neckline of your bra slowly, and you whimper out his name. “Don’t you ever say that you’re not beautiful. You’re perfect.”

“I’m not,” his hands never change to being rough, like you had grown accustomed to. Everything almost sickeningly sweet, when he tilts your head to look at him. “Jefferson, I’m not perfect.”

“What do you think about the dresses I make?”

“They’re perfect.”

“Good. You’re aware that I know perfection. And those dresses pale in comparison to you. They’re junk next to you,” single handedly he undoes your bra, letting it fall to floor, and he pulls your chin up to look at yourself.

“Say it. Say, ‘I’m besutiful’,” you shake your head no, but he still gives you that sweet smile, whispering your name, “Say, ‘I’m beautiful. I’m worthy. I’m perfect.’ I don’t know who told you that you weren’t. But you are perfect. I see you. I’m not some dodo bird, I’m your husband.”

His lips kiss all along your shoulder. Up the column of your neck, smiling at your reflection. Trying convince you that you’re beautiful with his lips. Kissing away any doubt that you may have had. While one hand fondles your tit, another drifts under your panties. Those lithe fingers already working over your bundle of nerves.

Wanting you to continue to look at yourself, when you’re mostly watching Jefferson’s face soften. He looks at you like you’re a goddess, and he makes sure you see his eyes drift all over your body. His own face turning up in pleasure at your soft sounds. “I’m gonna make you watch yourself, until you realize just how beautiful, amazing, precious, wonderful, and perfect you are to me.”

“Jefferson…”

“Shh, Sugar Cube, let me take care of you,” his voice a raspy mutter on your neck, and your body goes malleable to his motions. His hands still roam over your curves, digging into your soft skin, and he can’t help but beam when you keen at his constant reassurance of your beauty and worth.

Sinking to his knees, his fingers hook around the elastic of your panties, and he drags them down your body. Jefferson’s lips kiss down the expanse of your leg, before making his way back up on the other.

Slow and soft kisses, that only make

Arousal flood to your core. Giving a chaste kiss to your mound before he hooks a leg over your shoulder. Those bright blue eyes look up at you, “Every part of you is beautiful,” before he attends his favorite tea party; devouring you like a man starved.

His moans nearly as loud as your own as he buries his face in your cunt. His tongue kitten licking your bud before sliding down to your tight channel. Literally tongue fucking you. Gazing up at you from his knees, he only pulls back to remind you, “You’re perfect. If only you could see you, the way that I do. Watch,” you look into the mirrors, and the way that Jefferson works you over.

Determination on his face, and not even caring about himself. Your fingers card through his curls, and you hold him as close as possible. Feeling a rubber band twisting in your belly as he nears his goal. Adoration and admiration running through his veins, and when your body starts to buck into him, he knows you’re close; feels your walls begin to clench around his tongue, but he doesn’t stop.

He hits your spots over and over again. His whole face stimulating your sex, until he hears that desperate whine escape your mouth. Your legs tremble, and he slows his motions. Pulling off of you, he wipes his face, removing your slick, but his tongue licks up your juices. Tasting your essence again before he brings you to your knees.

His hands rip off his clothes, and he throws them aside, leaving the two of you, panting and yearning for the other. “I’m going to fuck you, until you say it,” Jefferson grunts out, crawling behind you. “You better watch. Watch, how I admire every inch of your goddess body,” his eyes drift back to your cunt, before he lines himself up. You switch between looking back at him and gazing at the two of you in the mirror.

Watching him as he slowly slides his cock into your slicked up hole. His face written in pure pleasure. Sliding in until he bottoms out. Both hands on your hips, as he smirks at your reflections. “You were made for me, Sugar Cube. Only me. You’re perfect. Perfect for me, and just perfect,” Jefferson pulls himself out, only to slam forcefully back in. Smiling at how you and your body reacts.

“You and this pussy adore me. Couldn’t live without me, and I couldn’t live without you,” his hips slam into your ass, but his face is still so tender watching you. The only one to make him this content and happy, has always been you.

His fingers dig deeper into your body, and you let out a satisfied mewl, “Tell me!”

“I won’t lie.”

“Look at you! I can’t lie, Sugar Cube. You are perfect,” his arm wraps around your front, and he lifts you up. Your back arches into a deep curve, but your shoulders press firmly into his chest. He ruts into you relentlessly, but his face remains focused on you softly.

“Look at us! What do you see?”

“You.”

“And I see you. Sugar Cube, I see you. I love you. You are my beautiful, sweet, and perfect wife. But I see us. Connected, and only you get this.”

You pout at his reflection, but he still gazes at you so tenderly. No mask, just Jefferson. Not the maddened side of Jefferson, but him. His nose nuzzles on your jawline, and he gives a loving and sweet kiss to your neck. “Say, ‘I’m beautiful.’”

“I’m beautiful,” your voice cracks out to him.

“I’m perfect.”

“I’m…Jefferson,” you whimper, feeling your body heat up again. “I can’t,” but one look at his scowling face, you look back at both of you. “I’m perfect.”

“I love us.”

“I do. I love us,” you know it’s true. Know that you love him and him with you so much.

“I. Trust. Us,” his voice gets harder when your pussy clenches around him. Your body almost too much for him to bare. And you start to scream out in pleasure. “I trust us!”

“I trust us, Jefferson! Please, Teacup. Please, I love you,” his face turns up into a disapproving look, “And I love me.”

“I love you, too,” he grunts out. Slamming into you a few more times, when the both of you cum together. Turning back to him so you can swallow his sweet sounds. Coming down from your high.

He pulls your face back to look at you with the most gentle smile, “And we’ll do this every fucking day until you believe it. I love you, Sugar Cube, but I want you to love you, too.”

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @peaches1958 @johndeaconshands @learisa @duuhrayliegh @lalahbug @rebekahdawkins @harrysthiccthighss @pono-pura-vida @infatuatedjanes

[dragonmuse]

”He doesn’t live in the city, but has a house in a quiet neighborhood (I would say ironically probably in a similar neighborhood to Izzy and Eddy in You’re Awful, I Love You) with his husband Thomas.” So... neighbors AU? :)

(why start a new AU when it's all there already! You’re Awful, I Love You tickles me so. I've got two asks in it, but this one grabbed me by the neck for some reason. As a refresher YA,ILU is the one where Eddy and Izzy get married and live in the burbs. Also because I got this as a comment, yes! The au title is a lyric from the amazing Ludo song ‘Love Me Dead’ which I highly recommend and is a very Eddy/Izzy song.)

Izzy has no idea why Eddy hates the neighbors. They barely share the property line, an easement between their two parcels owned by the town so they could reach the powerlines meant that they technically had no border. And the neighbors had lined their side with tall trees anyway. 

“He’s out there again,” Eddy would say ominous. 

“It’s his fucking yard,” Izzy would roll his eyes. 

It was a nice change, he supposed, to have Eddy being the one carrying a bitter pointless grudge. Usually that was Izzy’s job. Eddy tended to forgive and forget, especially if she’d already taken her pound of flesh. 

“How many times can someone trim the same three rose bushes?” 

“I don’t know, but I’m starting to think I should be worried that you’re keeping count.” 

He set down breakfast in front of her. Her feet were bare, traces of early morning dew soaked dirt around her toes.  She had on tiny shorts, almost entirely hidden by the oversized purple sweater that she wore most mornings, ratty as anything. 

Fucking gorgeous, of course. Izzy considered if it would distract her if he got on his knees right now. 

“It’s obsessive,” she muttered into her bacon. 

“Yeah, okay,” he settled on instead, not liking his odds and not needing that ego bruise. 

Izzy had met the next door neighbors all of once because meeting people was not his job. Eddy met people. Izzy remembered their names, preferences, and criminal backgrounds.  Everyone had a role. 

They were two guys, probably together, both tallish and good looking. One was blond and one was a redhead with a ponytail.  Occasionally,  he saw them headed to their cars in the driveway.  Thomas and Flint. 

The only time they’d met it was because Izzy was taking a box off the truck they'd rented to move in and Thomas had swung by with a half-smile and said, 

“Hello! You must be the new neighbor.” 

“Yeah,” Izzy watched him warily. It was early days of their retirement and Izzy had not even begun to unwind (it could be argued he’d never gotten around to it, but hey it was on the ‘to do’ list these days. Mostly on Lucius’ ‘to do’ list, but that counted for something). 

“Just you?” 

“No, me and my...” There hadn't yet been a word for what he and Eddy were to each other. He hadn’t dared something with any romantic weight, but he certainly wasn’t calling her boss anymore. “Eddy.” 

“Ah,”  Thomas said gently as if he entirely understood, which was fucking annoying. “My husband and I have lived here for a few years. It’s a good neighborhood.” 

“Just need it to be quiet,” Izzy shrugged. 

“It is that. Do you need a hand with that?” 

“No,” Izzy got the box up on one shoulder.  

“Ah,” Thomas watched the move with a twitch of the lips. “I don’t think I caught your name.” 

“Izzy,” he said reluctantly. They weren’t hiding here. 

“Hey, Flint!” Thomas called out and Izzy did his best not to flinch. Even in the short weeks since they’d retired, Izzy had gotten used to the silences. Come to enjoy them.  

The other man, the one Izzy had clocked as soon as he’d stepped out of the car, stood up from the rose bushes. The tiny ponytail which had seemed ridiculous melted from his perception immediately. Even from a hundred feet away, Izzy could feel his gaze like a two-handed shove. 

“Yes?” The man who must be Flint called back with a voice like velvet. 

“This is Izzy! He’s our new neighbor!” 

Eddy pulled up right then, her bike roaring, then silenced with a turn of the key. She dismounted, still in her leathers then, beard thick. Izzy knew from long experience that if one of them showed up like that, then it was a fun eccentricity to people like Thomas and maybe the husband. Two of them though, that was a threat. 

Thomas just smiled even more broadly. “Hello!” 

“Hello,” Eddy set her helmet on the seat, walking up the driveway. 

“I was just introducing me and my husband to Izzy here,” Thomas said genially. “I’m Thomas and he’s...Flint!” 

“What?” Flint looked away from Izzy at last and he sucked in a desperate breath. Fucking hell. 

“Come over here and be a person!” 

“I am a person all the time,” Flint said with a grimace, but he came over. His stride was ground-eating and his hand came up protectively to Thomas' back the second he was close enough. 

“A rude one,” Thomas scolded, then looked back to Eddy and Izzy like they might want to take part in this domestic bickering.  

“Can’t be ruder than Iz,” Eddy offered, always willing to play. She extended her hand, “Eddy. You’ve met Izzy apparently.” 

“Apparently,” Flint said quietly, a thrum underneath that gave Izzy a chill all down his spine. Made him aware he’d been standing there with a box on his shoulder for too long. 

“Going inside,” Izzy said to his feet, not even loud enough for himself to hear and vanished into the house. 

He didn’t know where the box actually went, but he could figure that out later and just set it down by the door. He should go get another one, but instead he lingered by the door and it was with great relief that Eddy came back in not a minute later. 

“Weird guys,” she determined. “You good?” 

“Yuh huh,” he frowned. Had they been weird? 

“C’mon,” she grabbed his forearm. “Let’s make a good first memory here, huh?” 

Who was he to argue? Even if they had already fucked by the front door last week when they got the keys. 

After that, Izzy had mostly just waved at the two vaguely if they waved at him and aside from that, kept to himself. Eddy, who in this new place was bubbling over with meeting people and ferreting out their interesting secrets to share with Izzy like prizes she’d dug up in the yard, didn’t talk to them either. 

That held for years. They weren’t the kind that invited the neighbors over for a meal anyway. And then there were bigger fish to fry. Motherfucking Stede Bonnet. And who knew what the neighbors made of that, all these new people suddenly coming and going from the formerly quiet house?

Then a couple of months ago, Izzy had waved vaguely at Flint, keeping his eyes down, Eddy at his side. 

“I fucking hate that guy,” Eddy said vehemently. 

Izzy’s head whipped up. “What? Why?” 

“He’s just-” she waved emphatically. “Always out there with the fucking roses.” 

“Yeah,” Izzy frowned at her, “you’re out here more than anyone else, so what?” 

“He’s an asshole,” she announced. “Anyway, you sure you want to come in tonight?” 

“Said I would,” he sighed. “We’re almost in the car. What do you think I’m going to do? Do a runner?” 

“Maybe,” she poked him in the ribs and he swatted at her hand. It was distracting. 

It had taken a lot of time to get Izzy into the Revenge and in the end it was Lucius who managed to draw him inside, not Eddy. Something Eddy didn’t know and never would if Izzy had any say in it. Because Lucius had just straight up bribed him rather than bothering with convincing. 

“I’ll get us a hotel room,” he’d licked his lips. “And we can ruin it.”  

They’d done that and Izzy would think about that night whenever Eddy asked if he’d come watch her perform. He loved watching her, as it happened, even if the rest of it was a trial.  

Tonight as he slid into his seat at the bar, Lucius was on him in an instant, 

“Hello, lover,” he purred, so that Izzy would laugh. 

“Hello,” Izzy obliged him. “What am I drinking tonight?”

“I’m feeling kind, so I won’t foist the Swede’s latest disaster on you,” Lucius touched his hand, alighting light as a butterfly. “How about one of my little inventions?” 

“Yeah, all right.” 

The drink was a wicked shade of green and tasted like sour apples with what was probably champagne bubbling through it. 

“This one got a name?” 

“How about the Happy Tart?” Lucius suggested. 

“Naming it after yourself then?” 

“Mean,” Lucius stuck out his tongue at him. “You’ve got your lines going.” 

“What lines?” 

Leaning forward, Lucius poked him in the forehead, “Those lines. Your worry lines.” 

“Not worried,” he denied, then crumbled under Lucius’ disbelieving stare. “It’s an Eddy thing, you don’t want to-” 

“I can deal,” Lucius cut him off. “Come on, you get tense when you’re worried for her, and I like you relaxed. Spill.” 

“She’s gotten into this grudge with the neighbors and I can’t fucking figure it,” he exhaled. “It’s not like her. To just...dislike someone for no reason. Every time, she just carries on about the roses, but you can’t even see them from our property really.” 

“That hot couple next door?” Lucius asked. 

“The-” Izzy paused, recalled and then nodded, “Yeah, okay. Them. Or at least one of them.” 

“Huh. Let me think about it.” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

What was the worst that could come of it?  

Belladonna ruled the stage that night and Izzy gave her his full attention. She seemed normal...as normal as any six foot tall siren with ivy trailed through her hair and leaves painted on her skin could look anyway. 

Too bad she was staying with Stede that night. Though Izzy did get one hell of a midnight kiss that left him with green paint smeared over his mouth and down his neck. He took the mess of it home and climbed into bed alone. 

Lucius arrived the next day, said nothing about the whole thing and got to make good use of Izzy’s pent up energy. It wasn’t until the next morning while Izzy made breakfast that Lucius apparently decided to move into action. 

Which for him was putting on cut-off jeans, a t-shirt with a v so low it was probably a crime and a pair of sunglasses, stalking across the lawn and greeting the neighbors like he fucking lived there. Izzy watched from the kitchen window. He hadn’t known Lucius owned shorts like that and it was doing some things to his brain. 

Flint stood up beside the roses to greet him. And for a flickering second, Izzy watched Lucius take a step back. 

Oh, I’ll fucking kill him, the beast inside Izzy hissed. But then subsided. Because dear Lucius wasn’t cowed for any longer than that, taking back that step and more besides. Coming in close enough to reach out a hand which Flint shook. 

They spoke for only a minute or so, before Lucius waved a little and went down to the end of the driveway to check the mailbox. Which was...weird because he definitely did not get mail here. Then back up the drive with a shit-eating grin on. 

“What was that about?” Izzy asked as Lucius came into the kitchen. 

“I have done my research,” Lucius announced, pushing his sunglasses upwards. “And I have an answer for you.” 

“In a one minute conversation.” Izzy’s eyes dropped to long milky thighs. “Were you baiting a trap?” 

“A little,” Lucius leaned in and gave him a long filthy kiss. “And you can eat the bait later.” 

“So what’d you trap then?” 

“That man,” and...huh...Lucius didn’t sound thrilled with him either. “Radiates dom energy.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Izzy frowned. “I can’t even fucking look at him.” 

“You knew?” 

“I mean you gave me the words for it, but it’s hard to spend all these years doing what Eddy and I do and not notice when someone’s like that,” he shrugged. “But he’s not doing it on purpose. I think it’s just how he is.” 

“Oookay, well then obviously Eddy doesn’t like him.” 

Izzy knit his eyebrows together, “Obvious how?” 

“Do you not look at him every time?” 

“Yeah? It’s not my proudest moment of the day, but it’s that or I get kind of...” he sighed. “You know. It’s embarrassing.” 

“Eddy knows you space out when you’re hot,” Lucius said like it explained everything. 

“Yeah and?” Izzy paused. “Wait.” 

“Uh huh,” Lucius kissed his cheek. “Ding ding, the train has pulled into the station.” 

“Really?” 

“Really,” “Lucius’ arms slid around his waist. 

“Huh.” 

There was a nip at his neck and Izzy was no longer thinking about Flint even a little. “You too?” 

“Mhm,” Lucius pulled him in close. “Only human. Even if I know you’re about as likely to do something about it as I am to get on the roof and pull a superman.” 

It was a really good day after that, but after Lucius left, Izzy found himself stymied. He went into the workshop, but couldn’t start a project. He went to the kitchen, but the idea of making dinner didn’t appeal either. 

In the end, he sat down on the couch and picked listlessly through a book until he heard Eddy’s motorcycle coming. Even then, he didn’t really move, just set the book aside so he could watch her come in the front door. 

He couldn’t help, but admire her. There was probably never going to be a day when he didn’t. She had her hair half up, the rest cascading around her shoulders, messily wind blown. Stede must’ve bought her this outfit. It looked expensive, a shimmer instead of sheen to the lavender top with it’s knot in the front, showing off a tantalizing line of skin above tight black pants.  

“Thought you’d be in the workshop,” Eddy said when she’d hung up her jacket. “Nothing on the lathe today?” 

“Not in the mood,” Izzy said quietly. 

“Yeah?” She glanced up, caught his expression. “You alright there?” 

“Thinking.” 

“Dangerous,” Eddy surmised and walked over to him, dipping down for a kiss. He kissed back, cupping her jaw. It was so smooth to the touch these days and he often found himself running his thumb along the bone of it. “What’s got your gears grinding?” 

“I was thinking...” he sighed. “Fuck this sounds stupid, even in my head.” 

“That’s gonna be good then,” she sat down beside him, resting elbow on the back of the couch, chin in her palm. “Tell me.” 

“I was thinking that I wish it didn’t make me happy that you get jealous,” he admitted, sinking his head back beside her elbow, looking up at her. “Don’t think it says anything good about me.” 

“I’ve been good about it for weeks,” she protested. “Lucius and I even did a whole event together and kept civil tongues in our head. Didn’t he say?” 

“Not Lucius, though, yeah good job on not killing each other, I appreciate it,” he sighed. “I meant the neighbor.” 

“What about him?” Eddy looked away. 

“I didn’t notice. That it was messing with you,” Izzy watched her carefully. “I don’t even know the guy. Don’t really care to.”

“Yeah, you don’t care to know anyone,” she mumbled.

“I care to know you,” he turned his head enough to press his lips to her arm. “Eddy. You know no one else is allowed to touch me the way you do, right?” 

Her hand flexed above him. A knuckle cracked. He stayed as he was. Waited. 

“I hate how jealous you get,” Eddy said at last. “It's impossible sometimes, the way you want me. And so when I...when I get like that, I hate it even more. I’m such a fucking hypocrite. How can you like it?” 

“Cause I want you to own me,” Izzy pointed out. Maybe instead of being distracted that afternoon, he’d been thinking. Turning old rocks around and around in his mind until they tumbled out polished and ready. “And you don’t want anyone to possess you. Not me. Not Bonnet. Not the world. And they don’t, Eddy. They can’t. I can’t. Tried. Didn’t work. Gave up.” 

“Yeah, I know,” her hand dropped at last. Open, not a fist. It ended up on his chest, right over his heart. Her emerald glittered in the light. “Watching you react to someone else like that makes me want to spit acid anyway.” 

“I don’t even look him in the eye.” 

“That’s on purpose?” She frowned. “I thought that was kind of your whole...you don’t make eye contact with me either when you get like that.” 

“Different reasons. If I look at you while I’m like that, it’s too intense too quickly and it’d all end in a second and a half,” he snorted. “I don’t look at him cause I don’t like a stranger rifling through my head. Felt like he knew what I was like the second he saw me. I don’t need more of that in my life. You are more than enough for one man to survive.” 

“Really?” She turned the full force of that gaze on him and met it.

“Yeah, really. What? You think I’m out here trolling for more people to put me in my place?” He set his hand over hers. “I’ve got a demanding job, a house to keep up with, a spouse and a boyfriend to keep happy and satisfied, all with a fifty year old body. I’m spinning enough fucking plates.” 

Her lips curved ever so slightly upward, “Getting tired, Iz? Too old to keep up?” 

“With you?” He shook his head slowly, maintaining eye contact. “There’s no pace you could set that I wouldn’t keep up with.” 

“Sure, I get a boyfriend, you gotta find one, half our age and twice as lively, huh?” 

“It’s not a competition,” Izzy smiled lazily, stretching a little. The hand on his chest exerted pressure, kept him down. “But I think we know who’s winning.” 

“Big words to someone who just admitted he’d come if I gave him too much eye contact.” 

“Well,” Izzy tilted his chest up, “got to put a new tool in your kit for you sometimes.” 

“I don’t need help,” her hand slid up to his shoulder, gripping hard. The nerves there had never healed right and pain rose up to meet her touch. “But I think tonight, I’ll take it.” 

It took Izzy a full three days to recover from that night, and he enjoyed every last second of it. On the fourth morning, he was still riding the high a little as he went out to the workshop. There was a stool he was working on, an improvement over the last one Eddy had claimed for the garden. He was sanding it by hand, enjoying the process. 

She stepped into the room and her usual basket had the shears sticking out and three roses, blood red, were nestled beside them. 

“We have rose bushes now?” He asked distractedly. There was always something new out there and he could have easily missed her planting them. 

“No. Flint offered up a few. They came with the property and he says there a bitch and a half, impossible to keep off the sidewalk. Has to trim them constantly.” 

“Does he now?” Izzy paused in his work. “And when did he say that?” 

“Just now. He was out while I was looking for fallen branches for the fire pit,” she said casually. “Asked him about them. He’s a lawyer apparently. Pfft. You know I feel about lawyers.” 

“I do,” Izzy said solemnly.  

“Anyway, they’re going away next week, so I said we’d keep an eye on the place. Could be good for when we’re not home too, huh?” 

“Yeah.” And it was such a good thing he had long practice with not laughing at all because it was taking a lot of energy not to do it now. 

“I know how you like red,” Eddy swept the flowers up and held them out to him. “Mind the thorns, huh?” 

And she was in the ragged purple sweater, sweating a little and smiling herself. Maybe, maybe, on the cusp of laughing at herself a little. Holding out flowers to him as if this was how they always did things. 

“Like the thorns,” he said, no longer anywhere near laughter as he took them from her. They were pretty things, probably last a few days in water. 

She kissed him, soft and sweet. “Gonna go wash up. Coming with?” 

He’d put them in water later. And then when they started to wither, he might just get a bit of twine, hang them in the corner of the garage to dry out. Maybe keep them there as if he’d forgotten about them, just another thing collecting dust in a garage. Even if they did hang just inside his peripheral vision as he sanded down the rough edges of his small domain.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Parents

Jiang Cheng is still panting heavily when he goes to check if they really did kill the yao, but when he turns slightly to make a joke at Nie Mingjue, his husband is nowhere to be seen.

“Mingjue?” Jiang Cheng yells out and he doesn’t want to admit it, but fear grips his heart.

The last moments of the fight were pretty hectic and rough; what if something happened to Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng didn’t notice it?

“Mingjue?” Jiang Cheng yells again, louder this time, when no answer comes and he goes back to where he thinks he saw Nie Mingjue last.

“Shush, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue scolds him out of the blue and Jiang Cheng follows his voice into one of the many destroyed houses around the place.

The did not lose the whole village to the yao; these are long abandoned houses they simply found the yao at and so Jiang Cheng frowns.

“What’s going on?” he asks, carefully stepping into one of the destroyed houses but he comes to an abrupt stop when he sees what Nie Mingjue is holding.

“Is that a baby?” Jiang Cheng breathes out and is at Nie Mingjue’s side a moment later.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue says, even though it’s pretty obvious that the squirming and clearly upset bundle in his arms is a human baby.

“What happened?” Jiang Cheng demands to know and steps closer to check the baby over.

“I don’t know. She made a sound and when I came in here, I found her all naked on the ground, not even crying. I hope she’s okay.”

Now that Nie Mingjue said it Jiang Cheng realizes that he cut his own robes to dress her, and the act just makes him love Nie Mingjue more.

“Let me see her,” Jiang Cheng says, holding his hands out expectantly and when Nie Mingjue drops her into his arms he checks her over more thoroughly.

There are no visible wounds on her and even though she seems a little bit too cold, she’s quickly warming up, now that she can leech off Jiang Cheng’s and Nie Mingjue’s body heat.

“She seems fine to me,” Jiang Cheng decides. “Maybe a little bit hungry, but she doesn’t seem injured.”

“Thank the gods,” Nie Mingjue breathes out and gently strakes his finger over her cheek. “I was worried because she wouldn’t cry. I still remember how Jin Ling was, it seemed strange for her not to make a sound.”

Jiang Cheng decides not to take offense on Jin Ling’s behalf, because he was one loud baby and instead says “Babies are much more sensitive than we give them credit for. If her parents were hiding from the yao, it’s likely she somehow picked up on the fact that she needs to be quiet.”

“She’s barely older than six month,” Nie Mingjue says with a frown and Jiang Cheng presses her protectively to his chest.

“And maybe she’s just especially bright,” he snaps back and then walks out of the house. “Come on, we still have to let the healers check her over, maybe we missed something,” he calls over his shoulder when Nie Mingjue doesn’t follow him immediately.

“Alright, alright. But Wanyin—no getting attached. We’re not keeping her,” he says and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Of course we’re not keeping her. I don’t want any more kids, Jin Ling totally was enough for me,” he cheekily says, though immediately the doubt cuts deep again.

Jin Ling is only six, but the kid already has an attitude and he has his nose high up in the sky and Jiang Cheng is afraid that he fucked him over for good. He is not fit to raise any kid, least of all his sister’s child, and absolutely not the sweet baby in his arms.

“As long as you remember,” Nie Mingjue says and then keeps a hand under the babies bum the whole time they walk.

As if Jiang Cheng would ever let anything this precious drop.

~*~*~

“How is our baobei doing?” Nie Mingjue asks with a huge smile as he walks into the infirmary.

They are keeping her there for a lack of better accommodations, though Jiang Cheng is getting out all of Jin Ling’s old stuff again. Soon enough she’ll be able to sleep with them in their bedroom.

“She is perfectly alright,” Jiang Cheng gives back and looks up from where he’s sitting on the floor, tickling her tummy and watching her squirming around and squealing with laughter.

“And how is my most amazing husband doing?” Nie Mingjue asks as he drops a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head and then blows raspberries onto the babies tummy.

“I am doing very well, too, thank you for asking,” Jiang Cheng seriously gives back and then erupts into laughter when Nie Mingjue gives him a disgruntled look at that.

It makes the baby clap her hands together and kick her tiny, tiny feet in the air and Jiang Cheng simply melts at the sight.

“And news of her parents?” he asks, mostly to distract himself from the urge of squeezing her to death and Nie Mingjue shakes his head as he sits down next to Jiang Cheng and picks her up.

“No. There were reports of a family running from the yao, but no one knew them and no one seems to know where the parents ran off to. I left a message in the house we found her in, in case they come back, but I don’t think it’s looking promising. It’s been a week already.”

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng thoughtfully says and offers up one of his fingers for her to hold on to. “What a shame.”

“Yeah,” Nie Mingjue agrees and then they fall silent.

Well, at least until their little baobei starts to scream bloody murder because she’s hungry.

~*~*~

They are laying in bed, Jiang Cheng tracing senseless shapes into Nie Mingjue’s chest when he speaks up.

“We’re not keeping her, right?” Jiang Cheng asks and Nie Mingjue tenses.

“Wanyin, I thought we were agreeing on this,” he cautiously says and Jiang Cheng props himself up to look at him.

“We are. I am not fit to be a father; I was barely able to be an uncle to Jin Ling and raising him—I did so much wrong. I’m too much of my mother and not enough of my father and I’m just—”

“Well, from what you told me about your parents and from what I have seen with Jin Ling you are exactly the right mix of them. Just from the top of my head I can come up with at least seven instances where you held or carried Jin Ling, so I’d say you are perfectly good.”

“I messed up so much with him,” Jiang Cheng mutters. “The real damage will only show when he’s older, just you wait.”

“Well, pardon me, but your parents were shit and you turned out alright if I dare say so,” Nie Mingjue tells him and pulls him into a kiss. “And I am not actually keen on being a dad, either. I was pouring so much into raising Huaisang when our father died and I don’t know if I can raise anyone without the explicit expectation of them having to be a Sect Heir.”

Nie Mingjue sighs and Jiang Cheng snuggles closer to him.

“Look at how I messed up with him. I put so much pressure onto him all the time because I feared I would die young and now he avoids any kind of responsibility as if his life depends on it. I already fucked up once. I’m not going to do it again.”

“You didn’t fuck up,” Jiang Cheng protests. “If anything you spoilt him too much. You were too lenient. It’s not like he ever cowers when you yell at him, right? He’s clearly not afraid of you or the consequences you keep threatening him with, because he damn well knows you’d never follow through.”

“Is that right?” Nie Mingjue asks, raising one eyebrow at Jiang Cheng. “Just like Jin Ling laughs at you whenever you threaten to break his legs?”

“That’s different,” Jiang Cheng huffs.

“I don’t think it is,” Nie Mingjue argues and then rolls them over onto the side so they can sleep.

“No more kids,” he mutters, burying his face in Jiang Cheng’s hair and Jiang Cheng agrees.

No more kids for them.

~*~*~

It’s been two months by now since they found little Baobei in the abandoned house and they have formed a routine around her.

The healers complained after two weeks of her being in the infirmary that she can’t stay there anymore so Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue took her to their own bedroom, letting her sleep right next to their bed, so they could keep an eye on her.

“Good morning, little baobei,” Jiang Cheng says when she grumbles herself awake and Nie Mingjue laughs at the sight.

“She’s just like you,” he jokes and Jiang Cheng can’t even manage a proper frown over her head.

“Shut up, she is not,” he denies and Nie Mingjue has not even the decency to argue with him about this.

“Let’s go find Jiang Zedong and hear how the search for parents for her is going,” Jiang Cheng mutters, a little bit miffed that Nie Mingjue wouldn’t indulge him in a little argument, but when Nie Mingjue comes over to pepper first Baobei with kisses and then Jiang Cheng, he decides it’s forgotten.

When they ask Jiang Zedong about the issue he stares at them like they lost their minds.

“What do you mean, possible parents for her?”

“What do you mean, what do we mean?” Jiang Cheng bites back, though he’s aware that the look is a little bit ruined with Baobei in his arms. “You’re supposed to look for possible parents for her, what’s going on?”

“You mean for other people to take her in?”

“Other people? Who else would take her in?” Nie Mingjue asks as well, and when Baobei starts to sniffle, he takes her right out of Jiang Cheng’s arms.

It turns out that Baobei is a very sensitive baby, and she picks up on moods incredibly well. They haven’t found much that can sooth her, but resting against Nie Mingjue’s chest always seems to do the trick.

Jiang Cheng can relate. It’s a very good chest to lean on.

“You?” Jiang Zedong shoots back and Jiang Cheng quickly reaches out when Nie Mingjue’s arms go slack.

He manages to secure Baobei until Nie Mingjue remembers himself and hugs her close again.

“We’re not looking to adopt,” Nie Mingjue tells him, and Jiang Zedong frowns in confusion.

“But didn’t you already? I mean, she sleeps with you and you modelled your whole day around her. You come running when she cries or makes any kind of sound and no offense, but you don’t even allow the healers to hold her for her check-ups. I am actually afraid of what you’ll do if I tell you that we did find someone to adopt. Honestly, I just thought you would keep her.”

Jiang Cheng blinks at Nie Mingjue who in turn blinks at him.

“We didn’t want to adopt,” Jiang Cheng eventually says and Nie Mingjue nods.

“Well, to me—and everyone else—it looks like you already did. Now if you excuse me, I have real problems to solve here,” he then tells them and simply marches off.

Jiang Cheng wonders what demon was possessing him when he appointed Jiang Zedong his second in command, but when Baobei gurgles he forgets that thought.

“We weren’t looking to adopt,” Nie Mingjue says and bounces Baobei in a soothing manner.

“No, we weren’t.”

“Maybe—maybe she adopted us?” Nie Mingjue tries and Jiang Cheng sighs, before he leans into Nie Mingjue’s side.

“My soul, maybe it’s time we face the truth,” he gravely says, and surprisingly enough he’s not terrified out of his mind. “We’re done for. We are her parents.”

There’s a moment of silence from Nie Mingjue before he shrugs.

“Could be worse, I guess,” he says and lifts Baobei up high in the air.

Jiang Cheng fights the urge to snag her out of his hands, because what if he lets her fall, but by then Nie Mingjue already has her safely against his chest again.

“Just promise me, Wanyin: if I put too much pressure on her, if I demand too much of her, you’ll have to smack me over the head.”

“I’ll smack you over the head whenever I please,” Jiang Cheng cheerfully tells him but then he nods. “Of course I promise. And—the same goes for you: if I snap at her like my mother did or if I don’t give her the affection she deserves, you’ll have to smack some sense into me.”

“I promise, my heart, but you already did a good job with Jin Ling.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t comment on that, because the fear that he fucked his nephew up sits deep, but when Baobei babbles happily at him, he pushes those thoughts away.

“Oh shit,” Jiang Cheng suddenly says, and looks with big eyes at Nie Mingjue. “We have to come up with a real name for her!”

“Oh fuck,” Nie Mingjue wholeheartedly agrees and then they dissolve into laughter because if that is their biggest worry right now, then maybe they’ll be alright.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[auramindedd]

Talent ||

Desc: You and your new friends decide to a drunk Among Us game. You have lots of fun and you’re glad to be able to have amazing friends like them. After ending the stream and sobering up, Corpse asks you something you’d never thought you’d be asked.

Warnings: Cussing, drinking

Notes: i’m using these fake social media apps bc they’re fun &’ i like using them for messaging and twitterrrr! i hope you guys don’t mind them! <3

also, i’m super sorry for not posting in a while. my motivation comes and goes, but right now i have lots of it.

i wanna work on an smau series so, be on the look out for that! :))

——————————————————————————

“No balls!” Rae shouts, daring you to kill Jack who is trying to get something out of the vending machine, but him being drunk as fuck doesn’t help.

“I have three, actually.” You joke. Both you and Rae burst into a fit of laughter, but not for long since Jack goes up to you two.

“What are you two laughing about?” He asks, laughing with you guys even though he has no idea what he’s laughing about. Gosh, Jack, you’re really making it hard for me to kill you right now, you think to yourself.

“This,” You answer, killing him. You and Rae run away, screaming whenever you see someone. Thank God for everyone being drunk or else you two would be sussed out for being complete maniacs.

“Y/N,” Rae whispers. She gestures towards the green room and you can see Sykkuno watering the plants.

“No!” You whisper-yell. You’ve become Rae’s hitman, Brooke being the other Imposter. You need someone to vouch for you so, you don’t mind being by Rae the whole time.

“Hey, Sykunno!” Rae shouts when Sykkuno walks out. He’s slurring over his words, trying to say ‘hey’ back. Yeah, no way you’re killing him.

“See? Absolutely no fucking balls. Small dick, too.” Rae taunts. You want to kill her, but if you do, you’d immediately get voted off. So, you kill Sykkuno instead. It hurt, but you had to show Rae what’s up.

“How come no bodies have been reported?” You ask to nobody in particular, just wondering out loud.

“I’m good at hiding them.” Corpse jokes from behind you, scaring both you and Rae. Corpse knows how sensitive you are to any sound when it comes down to places that are quiet, and since only you and Rae have been together, his voice was the cause of your overdramatic ass scream. Playing along, Rae starts screaming with you two, the both of you being extremely obnoxious.

You know that he was just joking about hiding the bodies because Brooke is your partner for this round. You’re not even sure how Corpse isn’t dead yet.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Corpse chuckles. “I won’t sneak up on you like that anymore.” You and Rae stop screaming, relieving Corpse’s poor eardrums of being blown.

Rae starts running around you in circles while you and Corpse are in the middle of a conversation. You know what she’s hinting at, but you decide to ignore her. You’re not going to kill Corpse.

“No balls!” Rae shouts competively.

“What?” Corpse asks, sounding confused.

“I have so many, Rae, you don’t even know, but I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna kill Corpse.” Good going, Y/N, you think to yourself. Well, now you have to kill him.

Corpse starts running away and you do everything your drunk ass can do to catch him and kill him. He’s laughing, running into walls, you doing the same. Finally, you’re able to kill him.

Rae catches up to your avatar, laughing maniacally. She cheers you on, knowing that’s the only way that you’ll continue to be her hitman. Jack, Sykkuno, and Corpse. You’re not even sure if Brooke has killed anyone.

“Brooke! Brooke, have you killed anyone yet?” You try to be quiet, but your shitface drunk and you don’t think that’s working.

“No, have you?” She asks, trying to be quiet, too.

“Yeah, three people. I’m Rae’s hitman.”

“Okay, I’ll do better.” And with that, she’s off to go kill people.

———

“His body was in the hallway to Decontam... I think, don’t quote me on that.” Dream says, slightly slurring on his words.

“There’s 4 bodies and we’ve only found one? What the fuck?” Charlie sounds exhausted and you can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry,” You try and catch your breath, but once you do, you’re still giggling a bit. “Sorry, that was funny.”

Everybody else starts laughing and eventually, the voting time ends and nobody is voted out.

Wow, a tactic you didn’t even mean to use actually worked. It’s either because of how drunk everyone is or because of how contagious your laugh is - a lot of people call it cute and adorable.

———

You guys decide to end the game, everyone else ending their streaming while you just close your laptop. You all seemed to sober up towards the end, none of you wanting to drink anymore. Right now, you’d say you’re 85% sober. Taking a shower and drinking lots of water should have you good and all sobered up.

After taking a shower and getting a cold bottle of water, you lay in bed, watching random Minecraft speedbuilds of people building cute cottages.

You get a DM from none other than Corpse Husband. You smile to yourself before answering.

———

You wake up with a minor headache. Last night, you’d say that the Minecraft speedbuilds helped sober you up, but right now, you know it was the cold shower and cold water bottle.

You remember the text message Corpse had sent you, about wanting to check up on you. You two have only known each other for about a week or two now, and you two haven’t really talked. It’s nice, though - having someone who wants to check up on you. He’s done it these last three days you’ve played with him and his friends.

You text Corpse, telling him you can talk on the phone now. You both have been trying to plan to talk to each other just so you guys can get closer. You and Corpse relate to a lot of things and talking in Among Us with proximity chat and Corpse’s stream, it’s not the best way to have a deep conversation.

“Hi,” You greet him, placing your phone down that way you can make breakfast and talk to him. He wanted to FaceTime, and you’re not sure why because he said he’d be covering his camera. It’s fine with you.

“Good morning, Y/N. What are you up to?” A small yawn escapes his lips.

“Making some chocolate chip pancakes.” You grab your phone, showing him the pan that’s mostly filled with chocolate chips.

“Gosh, Y/N, want some pancakes with your chocolate chips?” He chuckles. You giggle, placing the phone back down and turning the camera to face you.

“I’m an amazing cook, puh-lease. I know what I’m doing.”

“I think we’ll have to test that theory.”

“You live like 2 hours away from me, how are we gonna do that?” You ask him, placing a pancake on your plate. You put more butter on the pan before putting more pancake mix on.

“I’d 100% drive two hours to your apartment just to try out your food.” He says. You smile at him, shaking your head and rolling your eyes playfully. “Speaking of going to each other’s houses, I have a question.”

“What’s up?”

He chuckles nervously, “Do you maybe want to collab?”

You’re caught offguard by this. You quickly put your pancake on your plate before answering.

“I’d love to.” You’re able to contain your excitement, surprisingly. “But Corpse, if you’re not comfortable with meeting me, we can find some way to do it over the phone. I really don’t think it’d be that hard. You could record your parts and I cou-”

Corpse cuts your rant off, chuckling a little bit. You smile sheepishly, taking a bite out of your pancakes.

“I’ll be fine, Y/N.”

“Okay,” You give him a small smile. “We can make plans later.”

“Good,” He says and you can hear a smile in his voice.

“Good,”

You and Corpse talk about anything and everything, alternating from really deep conversations to lighthearted, funny ones. Lots of laughing, but also lots of crying on your end. Corpse telling you that it’s okay and that everything will be okay is your new favorite thing. You never knew how much those two phrases would be changed just by coming from a different person. They never really meant anything when they came from anyone else - as much as you appreciated people reassuring you. But hearing it from Corpse, it really did feel like everything was going to be okay.

You two end the call, both of you being busy today. He promised to call you more often and you did the same.

——————————————————————————

Taglist:: Updating it tonight, comment or message me if you want to be added!

@bakugonua @emsies-dream @i-love-scott-mccall @anyasthoughts @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @campcampie @happyheartsss @izthefangirl @just-that-bi-girl @fire-heart-raven @tayloryorkscurls

——————————————————————————

Tags:: ignore

[longtimewish]

Alas, I've finished my rewatch of the second season of The Great. I think it's funny how so many shows infamously have put out seasons with a very low quality this past year and blamed it on the covid restrictions, meanwhile this unhinged show who also filmed under these restrictions released a season that surpassed its predecessor in every single way. So without any further delay, here are my thoughts of the last three episodes:

- That one scene (you know which one) kinda made me forget most of what happened on ep 8, but this episode actually has a lot of highlights

- One of them being Arkady 100% ready to shoot Peter if he even dared to hit his son, my favourite underrated moment of the season tbh

- I literally yelled "PERFECT CASTING" at my screen the first time I saw that Jason Isaacs was playing Peter the Great

- Peter fucked up really bad but all I could think of it's how this was also literally a plotline from Reign. That show really paved the way for a whole new generation of period dramas and it's time that we admit it

- EPISODE 9 MY BELOVED. Upon rewatch I decided that this is my favourite episode of the season and maybe even of the entire show. And yes it is entirely for shipping reasons

- But before going agsshsgl about the best enemies to lovers to have ever been written let's talk about the other highlight of the episode: Aunt Elizabeth. I haven't talk about her so far in my comments, but honestly out of all the supporting characters she is the one that shined the most. In season one I didn't cared that much for her, she was funny but I also felt that her character was mostly there just to be "quirky" and make sex jokes. In this season however she was one of the most fleshed out and complex characters of the cast, and Belinda Bromilow was amazing in this episode, the way she portrayed Elizabeth's grief over her son actually made me cry

- Marial looking for a husband was hilarious, but also it is in this episode when I realized that I legit liked her together with Grigor. I was sad when George came back and he couldn't marry her, and even sadder when she ended thing with him. After a whole season of Grigor suffering because his wife doesn't care that she sleeping with his best friend deeply hurt him I was so glad that he was in a happy relationship with his teen crush that when he decides to remain with Marial anyway I was like you go boy!!!

- Also fun fact: the Russian Orthodox Church actually forbids marriage between first cousins, so here is yet another thing that works different in The Great's AU

- Ok now LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BEST ENEMIES TO LOVERS TO HAVE EVER BEEN WRITTEN

- EVERYTHING about Peter and Catherine during this episode makes me go feral, EVERYTHING. Not just THAT scene but all of their moments together. Them holding Paul?? Their talk in the carriage, Peter making Catherine smile?? When he said that them being together was impossible and Catherine looked so sad??? How they hugged once they realised that Paul was safe??? They were SO IN LOVE during this episode

- AND STILL the confession had me shaking and screaming at my pillow at four AM. At that point it's obvious for us that Catherine does love Peter AND STILL when she says it I couldn't believe it. "First... Try and start breathing again" me too Peter, me too

- Also I must confess that I've already watched that scene so many times that I know the dialogues by heart (not that they talk too much, je)

- The first ten minutes of the last episode are wonderful and then everything is pain and suffering for fifty minutes straight

- The writing of this episode it's SUPERB. Even though my fav ep is the 9, THIS is the best episode of the entire show

- This episode it's just so raw, it's really all about Catherine and Peter's messed up relationship, about their love and hate and need for each other while all the other characters try to push the situation in their favour (or to scape the impending disaster). They don't want to hurt each other but they feel that have to and the question that is always asked is why? Why do they have to hurt each other? Why they can't hurt each other? Why do they love each other? Why do they have to kill each other? Why do they have to die for each other? And all of this is so well written and executed that it made the experience of watching the whole thing unfold both a torture and a delight

- That Marial was absolutely fine with covering up Johanna's death and lying to Catherine when she thought Elizabeth had killed her, but the second she hears it was actually Peter suddenly she feels that she has the moral obligation to tell the truth annoys me SO MUCH. Not because I think Catherine should've never know, she def had to find out the truth and the sooner the better, but because Marial acted throughout the entire episode as if she was in a sort of superior moral ground to everyone else. MARIAL YOU GLADLY COVERED UP THE MURDER OF YOUR BEST FRIEND'S MOM. YOU LIED TO HER FOR LITERAL MONTHS WITHOUT ANY REMORSE. She didn't told her the truth because it was the right thing to do and Catherine had to know, she did it because she doesn't like Peter. Which is a valid reason, but the lack of mea culpa from Marial really bothered

- The fact that Peter's first reaction to finding out that Catherine knows the truth was crying, not for himself but for the pain he caused her... Feeling Very Unwell

- Catherine going through a full mental breakdown about how she loves Peter and can't kill him also makes me feel SO Unwell but also I think it's really funny that throughout the entire scene Orlo is just staring in confusion being all "wait what the fuck are you talking about"

- That scene also sums up my problem with Orlo's arc this season: how disconnected it is from literally every single other plot from the show. That was probably the point, to show how Catherine kept sidelining the only people that's supporting her, but Orlo's plot just felt random to me, and he was out of the loop in a way in which non of the other characters were. Take the whole Catherine x Peter thing, EVERYONE but Orlo was aware that something was going on between the two of them during this season (even Velementov!). Orlo just popped up during the meetings, said something that was ignored by Catherine and then disappeared from the main story. I can't remember any significant scene that he had with a character that wasn't Katya or his uncle. I liked to see how his character changed and Sacha Dhawan is a fantastic actor, but I wished that he had more relevance in the main plot.

- Archie's plotline this season was... interesting, but I loved how he actually grew to admire and respect Catherine and chose to stand by her side. Alucinating about God after eating mushrooms together really brings people close

- It's been over a month and the final scene still haunts me. Elle Fanning's acting was INSANE, her pure rage?? Her SCREAM when she realized what she did, her sobs??? The expression of pure relief when she saw that Peter was fine??? And Nicholas Hoult also completely nailed the scene, HIS FACE when he sees Catherine??? When he hugs her??? HE KNOWS what she tried to do and yet his first reaction is to console HER. And then when they both stare at each other and the realization that they will never be able to kill each other because they love each other too much but after what happened they can't go back to the way things were before sinks and their faces are just so!!! This scene has literally just one line, "Pugachev", and yet it conveyed all of this entirely through the characters expressions. It's brilliant. It also broke my heart

- Overall, I think this season was, pun intended, great. A month ago I just liked this show but I didn't thought much about it, now I'm obsessed with it and this season it's my favourite thing I watched this year. It also cemented what I thought after watching the first season: Catherine and Peter's relationship it's the true heart of this series. Whether as enemies or lovers or both at the same time, it's their actions towards each other what moves the story forward, and that story simply wouldn't work without one of them. This show it's about them, about their hatred and their love for each other. Whether this love will end them, as Grigor feared, or begin them, as Peter hoped, remains to be seen.

[fandomficsnstuff]

Guardian Angel

Daryl Dixon x Reader

(Warnings: It’s gonna get kinda gory cause the reader is gonna learn how to skin a rabbit, so prepare yourselves, also Merle is a creep, as always, also cussing and this is kinda long)

(Okay! So I’m considering making this a series, just don’t really know yet, but let me know if you guys want a series outta this, I have a lot of ideas for this. Also I'm borrowing my friend's computer so I'll try to get more fics done and post them, stay safe out therer ya'll!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You let out a huff as you continued to scrub the shirt on the washing board, listening to the girls talk, but too lost in your own head to listen. You were, however, brought out of your day dreaming by Carol’s voice, looking up at her and her kind smile that she always bore, despite what that monster of a husband did to her. “You alright honey?” You forced a smile, giving a brief nod before shrugging, “just lost in thought, I guess” you looked down briefly before looking back up, noticing how you had all of the girls’ attention now, making you bite your lip nervously “what?” Andrea was the first to giggle at your response, “oh nothing, just, does that thought of yours happen to carry a crossbow around?” your mouth fell open at her question, making her smirk at you and the other girls laugh “shut up!” you splashed water at her, making everyone, including you, laugh loudly. You all continued to laugh, you felt tears in your eyes as your stomach hurt from laughing, but it all died down once you heard a whistle, turning to look at none other but the biggest perv in camp, Merle Fucking Dixon.

“Well, what do we have here? What’re you pretty little ladies gigglin’ about?” It was amazing to see all the girls roll their eyes at the exact same time, it almost made you laugh again, almost. “Mind your own business, Merle” Andrea got back to washing the clothes, clearly not impressed with him, which no one was at this point, but Merle didn’t take too kindly to it “why don’t you say that to my face, sugar tits? I’d sure as hell love to shut that pretty little mouth of yours up” you gagged at Merle’s comment, feeling sick to your stomach, and a part of you admired Andrea for how she kept a stone face.

“In your dreams, Merle” Andrea huffed out, but Merle just smirked.

“Oh it sure will be” you gagged again, so you decided to get up, the wet clothes in your arms, you didn’t much feel like washing them again after throwing up on them because of Merle. “Excuse me ladies, I have to go throw up” you walked past Merle to hang up the clothes to dry, but stopped abruptly as Merle gave your ass a smack on the way, turning back to ogle at Andrea. You turned slowly around, quietly balancing all of the clothes in one hand to bend down and pick up a rock, almost the size of your palm, and a smirk slowly made it’s way onto your lips as you thought over your plan. You chugged it as hard as you could at Merle’s head, hitting him right on his balding head, and you just ran for it. You moved your legs as fast as you could, your mind going almost as fast, now you had to come up with something, you heard Merle yell from down in the quarry. You spotted Lori and bolted towards her, making her look up at you with narrowed eyes as you panted heavily, trying to find the words you needed to ask her to help you, but you barely had the chance before she extended her arms “go on, before he catches up” you smiled brightly, letting her take the wet clothes “thank you Lori you are a goddess!” she rolled her eyes with a smile “don’t I know it. Now go” you nodded and bolted off into the woods, you had your knife with you, you would be fine.

Once you thought you were far enough into the woods you leaned against a big tree, panting heavily as you tried to catch your breath, once you had a decent hold of your breathing, you slowed it down, listening for any sounds, but mostly listening for the angry footsteps of Merle searching for you. After a minute or so of listening, you breathed out a breathless laugh, bending over with your hands on your knees to really catch your breath, now that you had been holding it for a while. You were about to go back when you heard footsteps and leaves crunching, spinning around to see none other than your favorite Dixon, not that there was much competition.

You exhaled heavily, a hand over your hand “you scares the fuck outta me, Daryl” you gave him a warm smile, making him scoff as he approached you “wasn’t even tryin’ to be quiet” he commented as he approached, he never really looked at you, he was too shy, but now he were. You both had small moments like this where you could be yourselves, where he could look at you without blushing, at least not too much, and you found it adorable.

“Good game?” you asked, pointing to the squirrels and rabbits over his shoulder, making him glance at it and shrug “yeah, the rabbit was a bitch to find though” you furrowed your brows “what? The great Daryl Dixon, master hunter, couldn’t catch a little bunny?” you joked, making him scoff once again, shaking his head at you as he looked down before back up at you “nah I caught it alright, it was finding it that was a bitch” you smirked at him, studying him for a few seconds before shrugging, leaning against the tree you had been hiding behind just a few minutes earlier, “then why go after it?” Daryl looked down, blushing red like a tomato at your question, shrugging as he kept his eyes on the ground “well, you liked the last one I caught right?” you nodded, giving a small ‘mhm’ in conformation, which just made him shrug again, as if that was the answer itself. Your eyes widened a bit, and now it was your turn to look like a tomato, letting out a quiet ‘oh’ as you looked down at the leaves under your boots, a dumb grin on your face “well, that was very nice of you, Daryl, thank you” you nudged his shoulder as you looked back up at him, only to find him looking at you already. It was like a scene from a movie, and cliché as it sounds, the way the whole world just went away, how everything else faded as you held eye contact. Maybe it was just on your part, maybe you were just hallucinating, but you liked to think that he felt the same, even if it was just wishful thinking.

You were snapped out of it as he cleared his throat, looking down again, you didn’t think it was possible for his face to turn even more red, but here you were, staring at a very red Daryl. “So, wanna head back?” he looked back up at you, making you smile even more, though you wanted to say no, you wanted to just sit down on the ground with him and just talk. You wanted to stay here with him for so much longer, just have the world fade around you until only the two of you were left, you wanted to sit and talk about his life, the things he loved, the things he did before the whole world went to shit. You realized then that you didn’t know that much about him, you knew his life had been shit, it was a given, you knew he must’ve had a tough childhood, you knew he liked to be alone, he liked the quiet, hence the hunting and tracking, but other than that, you didn’t know much, but in this world you didn’t really need to, you thought. Who he was before didn’t matter, you knew who he was now, and that's all that mattered to you.

You realized you had been quiet and just staring at him when he said your name, you loved it when he said your name, it sounded so heavenly coming from his lips. “(Y/N)? You alright?” you blinked a few times before coughing, looking down embarrassed “y-yeah I just uh, I think I’ll stay here a while longer, you know? Enjoy nature and all that” he let out a small laugh, something you quickly engraved in your memory, it sounded so sweet, it was one of the very rare times you had heard it, and it was always when you were alone. Daryl walked past you towards camp, and for a second you actually thought he bought it, but seeing him turn around to face you, a knowing smirk on his lips made you realize that he simply knew you too well at this point, that or you were a lousy liar, one of the two, “come on, I ain’t gonna let him get ya”, you let out a small chuckle, stepping closer to him, leaning in and pecking his cheek, your own cheeks were burning up, so was the tip of your ears “thank you, Daryl” you went ahead towards camp, Daryl completely frozen in place though it didn’t last long, he soon caught up to you, walking next to you with his head down, though every once in a while you’d see him sneaking a glance at you out of the corner of your eyes, and it made a bright smile form on your lips.

As you reached the edge of camp you looked around for Merle, cautious, which made Daryl scoff in amusement “whatcha do this time?” you looked at him with as much innocence as you could muster, but seeing as it didn’t work you sighed, you knew it was his brother, so you didn’t want to upset him in any way “he was ogling and saying some things to Andrea… and when I tried to walk past him he slapped my ass,” you swore you saw Daryl clench his jaw, but you couldn’t be too sure, your eyes were partially on the ground, you cleared your throat and continued “and I uh, may or may not have.. thrown a rock at him, and hit him… possibly…” you dared to sneak a glance at Daryl, but all you could see was amusement “well, he ain't never learnt how to treat women” was all Daryl said as he sat down on a tree stump with a leg on each side, taking off the string of squirrels and two rabbits he had tied to it, you bit your lip to hide your smile, nodding and sitting down across from him on the ground, studying him as he was about to skin one of the two rabbits.

“Can you teach me?” his eyes looked up at yours and you swore you saw a hint of confusion in them, but he looked down quickly again “you sure? It ain’t pretty” you raised a brow at his comment, smirking at him “Daryl Dixon, just so you know, I ain’t a ‘pretty girl’ “you tried your best to match his accent, making him eye you before shaking his head again “please never do that again” you laughed low “what? I ain’t doin’ nothin’” you continued to say in the accent, making him smirk, but he tried to hide it “if you’re gonna be like that I won’t teach ya” you held your hands up in surrencer, seeing the amused look on his face that he tried to hide “alright, you win, now teach me” he scoffed low, shaking his head as he got out his hunting knife.

(this is where the gore kinda starts, so you can skip this part if you want to)

“Alright then. You’ll want to pinch the hide on the rabbit’s back and make a small cut. The hide of a rabbit is very thin and you don’t even need a knife to do this; I’ve used a sharp stick to puncture the skin. Now you’re gonna watch me, and then see how you do on the other one, got it?” you nodded with a small smile, turning your eyes back to his hands and the rabbit, you really did want to learn, so you paid as much attention as possible. “Once you’ve made the cut, work your middle and index finger from both hands into the opening, like this. Now, you’re gonna wanna have steady hands, you're just gonna hook your fingers under the skin and pull one hand toward the head and the other toward the ass, alright? Don’t be scared to use a bit of force” you bit your lip to hold back a laugh at his casual language, merely nodding your head and continuing to watch him work, “The skin will begin to tear and separate from the body in two pieces. Keep pulling, grabbing more of the skin as you go to get a better grip, alright? It’s gonna be a bit tough but it’s alright. Now you just gotta work the legs out.” you nodded as you watched him, and before you knew it, your mouth opened “like pulling off a shirt” you blushed as he looked at you but he just shrugged and looked back down to the rabbit “yeah, somethin’ like that”, he gave you a small smirk before continuing his work, continuing to pull on the fur, ripping on it left the feet still covered, it reminded you of tiny shoes.

(the gore ends now, there’ll be hints at the rest of the process but this is where the explanation and detail ends)

You watched as he made a final pull, tugging harshly at the rear and you had a small snapping like noise, realizing the tail had been pulled off as well “wow” Daryl scoffed low “eh don’t worry about it, it happens, just saves the work of doing it later” you nodded as he put the now skinned fur to the side, about to tell you what to do next when you heard your name being called by an angry raspy voice, your head snapping around to look at the source, the source being Merle Dixon himself, the man you had completely forgotten about.

“(Y/N)! You little bitch!” Merle still held the back of his head in pain, and it would've made you laugh, if you didn’t feel like he could kill you at any moment given how angry he was. You were stuck in between smirking and running away, but Daryl quickly brought Merle’s attention away from you “whatchu want Merle?” he sounded pissed off, and a part of you hoped it was because he enjoyed spending time with you, and because that time was now interrupted, another part was worried that this was just because today was being too much, had it really been that difficult to find those rabbits for you? Or maybe you pushed it too far with asking him to teach you, but on the other hand, he actually seemed like he enjoyed teaching you, so maybe it really was just the aura or Merle annoying the hell out of him.

“Ain’t got nothin’ to do with you baby brother, so mind ya own business! (Y/N) you bitch! Think you can just throw shit at me and get away with it?! Huh?! I’m gonna show you-” Daryl stood up the second Merle took a step closer to you “just piss of Merle, I don’t care if she threw shit at ya, ya ain’t dead, so stop whining like a little bitch” your eyes widened at the scene unfolding in front of you, you had never heard Daryl talk to him that way, and these two weren’t exactly shy about fighting in front of others. Merle glanced between the two of you, a part of him was seething and another part of him was mocking you as he started to laugh “well! What do we have here? Little baby Daryl’s in love, everybody! What’s gonna happen next huh? You gonna let her paint your nails, huh? Maybe play dress up?! I ain’t the one acting like a little love sick puppy so don’t call me a whiny bitch!” As quick as he had acted amused he acted furious, they stood chest to chest now, their noses almost touching as they stared each other down, and you were pretty positive that if it went on any longer, one of them would punch the other.

“G-Guys… maybe, uh… maybe we could all just take a step back?” you glanced at Glenn as he nervously approached, God bless his heart, he was just trying to make everyone calm down. Glenn had always been sweet to you, Dale as well, so you cringed when Merle spun around and hit him in the face, Glenn had tried to move away but Merle had still hit him, you quickly sprung to your feet, your first instinct was to hold Daryl back as he moved towards Merle, but you let Shane handle him, pinning him to the ground with his hands behind his back, holding him down.

“Don’t, Daryl, come on” you whispered, you hadn’t realized how close you two stood, until you tore your eyes away from Merle to look at Daryl, his face mere inches away from yours, but he didn’t notice, he was too busy contemplating if he should get Shane off of Merle or if he should help hold him down. You frowned as Daryl moved from your side “get the fuck off of him!” he ripped Shane to the side, helping Merle stand up and you couldn’t help the scoff you let out. You looked down and shook your head, walking past him to Glenn, kneeling besides him to look at his cheek, Lori, Andrea and Amy were on the ground next to him as well “here let me look” you inspected his cheek cringing a bit seeing the redness “it’s alright, he hit you but you still moved back, you’re not gonna get a bruise I think” Glenn nodded as he held his cheek again, wincing slightly as all the girls, you included, helped him stand up, even though he could do so just fine.

You glanced at Dale, giving him a small smile, assuring him that Glenn was okay, to which he visibly relaxed. You glanced at Daryl who was busy yelling at Shane to not touch his brother, and Shane yelling back that he shouldn’t just hit people then. It was chaos, not in a traditional sense, but those three yelling at each other, Glenn hurt, even though it wasn’t serious, it just made you feel like this was chaos.

You sighed and walked off towards the quarry, Andrea and Lori helping Glenn put something cold on his cheek. You sighed as you sat down on a rock near the water, watching the ripples caused by the wind, you barely noticed Dale approaching, sitting down next to you on a rock. You both sat there in silence watching the water, and after a while Dale finally broke the silence “it’s so quiet here” you hummed in response, taking in a deep breath of fresh air “yeah it is… almost makes you forget how shit everything is” Dale chuckled low “yeah, though not everything is bad” you looked at him “no?” Dale shook his head and met your gaze “I saw you and Daryl, that’s not bad, is it?” you chuckled low and looked out over the water again “no, I guess… I mean… I just wish he-... you know? I just-... and he, he just… it’s frustrating” you sighed and looked down at the rocks under your feet, picking one up and fiddling with it “Daryl is-”

“Complicated?” you laughed as Dale basically finished your sentence, nodding your head gently “yeah, but he’s also so sweet… it’s his brother Merle, he irks him and riles him up and he just… he’s just so… I don’t know… but it’s not who Daryl is, Daryl is sweet and shy and I know he doesn’t show it a lot but he’s so kind, while hunting, he remembered that I liked the rabbit he caught last time, so he went out of his way to find two more today, it makes me feel, I don’t know… special, and when he defended me from Merle, it made me feel like he’s my guardian angel sometimes...” you shrugged, looking back at Dale who nodded, giving you a knowing look which made you blush as you realized what you had just said out loud, your gaze turning back to the rock in your hands.

“I agree, you know, Daryl is definitely not like his brother, I’m just happy he shows it to someone at least, instead of hiding it. No one can be alone with who they are all the time, at least they shouldn’t, in my experience” you hummed low again, your eyes looking back out over the water, a small smile on your lips “‘walking in the dark with a friend is better than walking alone in the light’” you mumbled, making Dale look at you with an intrigued look, a warm smile still on his lips, as it usually was. “It’s… it’s a quote from Helen Keller” you explained, Dale giving you a small ‘aha’ sound before looking back out over the water. You both sat there for a while longer, he had given guard duty to Andrea before coming down here, so you both just sat and watched the water and the sun reflected upon it’s surface.

[ushiwakatrash]

On your knees, King! (Part 4)

Bakugou x reader, Todoroki x reader

Fantasy AU

!Warnings!: Swearing

Synopsis:

Bakugou is the esteemed King of the Kingdom of Barbarians and because he succeeded in ruling the lands that were once governed by the Yuuei Kingdom, an offering must be made for the peace of the people. As the so-called ‘black sheep’ of the royal family, the King of Yuuei a.k.a. your father, offered you–naming you the most precious thing he could give; but you know the truth behind his words.

PART IV

← Part  3          Part 5 →

--

The princess couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she dipped into the bath prepared by Ochako. She had fun--maybe the most fun she’s had in a while. The blonde surely captivated her.

His confident strides as he fended off her weapon during their spar was something she found attractive. Usually, people tend to give up when faced with her during a duel, some just downright give up.

But this man, whose golden locks shine best when the sun is about to set, he stood his ground and gave her quite a beating. Sinking in the water a little more, a content hum escaped her lips.

“Fucking hell, I’m getting married. It would have been nice if dandelion and I could have been friends. Who knows if that stupid face king locks me up in some abandoned tower forever.”

Before her fingers could get wrinkly from being dipped in the water for too long, she had called her maids to dry and clothe her. Even if the thought of her marriage was at the back of her mind, the princess couldn’t help but be in a good mood thanks to the match she had earlier for a boar that had been eaten by the beautiful dragon.

The moonlight was particularly bright that night. For some reason, it was comforting, because she was sure that the same moonlight shone on her dandelion.

--

King Bakugou felt alive. Dominating kingdoms got boring because of how easily people gave up. But for that stupid piece of boar, he sparred for his life. It was  enthralling. The pit of his stomach got warm and mushy every time he would relive the match in his memory.

This is how real fights should feel like, he thought. For someone who didn’t have a lot of friends, he actually wanted to befriend this peculiar girl. She was pretty, he’d give her that. But what amused him the most was how deceiving her demeanor was. 

No matter how he tried to look at it, the girl looked so frail that maybe even a roar from Kirishima would send her to the afterlife. Well shit, he was so wrong. She was strong, both in body and mind. 

In all his years, he never had interest in the opposite sex, he didn’t even feel the need to have a woman by his side. But with the forcing of his parents, he finally agreed with settling down with the token of Yuuei. 

How bad could it be? She would just have to stay out of his way, do her duties as queen and not act unnecessarily. But damn, if he had another chance of picking a bride, maybe that cute girl would make the cut.

“Thinking about her, Bakugou?” Kirishima casually landed on the king’s balcony as if it were his own place. “Shut up, red. I-I’m not.” Kirishima smiled at his stutter. “Man, she was so cool. She even gave me the meat!” the dragon boy clearly shown his fondness of the girl, even if they had just met.

“You know your highness, a Dragon’s instinct is always right. And this girl would have made a fine wife.” The blonde grunted at his steed’s statement because deep down he truly believed it to be true. She was entertaining and smart. He felt as if he wouldn’t even need to protect her.

“Whatever shitty hair. I’m getting married to some damn woman. There’s nothing more I can do.” “Well sire, why don’t we try to find her again? I mean, before you finally marry?”

“You know, that doesn’t sound like a shitty plan”

--

It was as if the two shared the same braincell, the young lady thought of doing the same. Having a few more days of fun wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Her plan was to go to the same place they met and bring snacks for after sparring. Y/n made sure to pack some tasty treats for the red dragon as well. Not knowing the chances of meeting her dandelion, she left her palace quite early.

Quietly making her way through the forest, the light hit Y/n’s face in the right places, giving her this godly glow. Red orbs were captivated by such an ethereal image that had shaken his entire being. 

She was there, a few feet away from the two boys who’ve been there since sunrise. Lost in their thoughts, they failed to notice the arrowhead that skidded against the blonde’s cheek.

“What the hell woman?! You wanna fucking die?!” “Dandelion?!” Bakugou wiped the blood off his cheek. “Nice aim but I’d prefer if you get fowl instead of human flesh.”

The princess quickly tore a small piece of fabric from her top and used it to press on the wound she made. “I’m terrible sorry. I didn’t expect company this early.” Contemplating whether to confess her real intentions, the king beat her to it.

“I came here looking for you. And what luck, we meet again.” The girl’s face brightened as a warm smile was now on her face. “Really?! Me too! But I’m kind of sad Kirishima isn’t here. He was such a good boy”

With the mention of his name, red spiky hair popped out of the back of the blonde and the dragon boy send a toothy smile to the princess. “It’s me, lady! I transform!”

“Kirishima!, that’s amazing” The red head smugly looked at his master, mocking him by lifting his brows repeatedly. Rolling his eyes, Bakugou stood up with dagger in hand and charged at the girl.

Y/n deflected the blade quickly by pushing away the weapon by smacking away the king’s wrist. “Hah, nice try dandelion!” “Stop calling me that!”

After minutes of non-stop combat, they finally took a break. Kirishima transformed into his dragon form to use his wing as shade for the two. “What’s your name, woman?”

I don’t think I should tell him, Y/n thought. It would be difficult if she were to be seen with a man days before she meets her husband to be. “Hmm, call me daisy. It’s only fair since I call you dandelion!”

“Whatever. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a good spar in. I have you to thank, daisy.” “I could say the same. Thanks Dandelion.” 

From the bushes, Y/n revealed her picnic basket and proceeded to lay out the contents. “I expected a dainty lunch from you, but you eat like a fucking soldier!” The girl’s face flushed from Bakugou’s teasing but mostly from the laugh that one could listen to for days.

The lunch had a few small portions of greens but it mostly consisted of meat.

“Shut up you damn porcupine! Just eat or else I’m giving your share to Kirishima!” At the sound of food and his name, the dragon’s head whipped fast. “Oi red, don’t even dare.”

Taglist: @the-sander-fander @cathwritestragediesnotsins @emilymikado @itsmysticalmystery @yoonbbyboy @karissassirak

[spaceorphan18]

The Smut Challenge (33)

A/N: In celebration of my birthday, I’m giving you guys a longer smut piece today! Not sure if y’all will like it or not (and my apologies for it being unbeta’d) but I figure if you guys like it, I’ll slip one of these longer ones in every once in a while, and if not, I’ll keep to my 500 words or less.  Either way, happy reading <3 

***

July 18th (Day 33) 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

“Yes, Blaine.” 

“Okay, I just want to make sure.” 

“We have a plan, and a safe word, so I’m really, really okay.”  

Blaine takes a second to suppress his eagerness.  Rarely have they roleplayed, so this is a bit of a new thing for them.  But this whole scenario is just as much Kurt’s idea as his own, and after having a lengthy conversation as to how to proceed, they picked a day where they had all the time in the world to act it out.  

Blaine takes a moment to look himself over in the bathroom mirror.  His hair is mostly ungelled, the loose curls doing as they wish.  He’s wearing Kurt’s old football jersey, while over a decade old, is a bit big on him.  And he’s got on a pair of spandex shorts that hide nothing to the imagination.  He thinks he looks a little bit laughable like this, but it’s what Kurt wants, and it’s not like Kurt isn’t giving him what he wants.  With a deep breath he leaves the bathroom.  

Kurt comes out of the bedroom at the same time, and Blaine can barely keep it together.  Kurt’s dressed in his old cheerleading costume that does not fit in all the best ways.  His chest is broader, arms more defined than when he had been in high school.  His ass fills out the pants nicely.  His hair is without product, and softly down, making him look much younger than he really is.  It’s a bit surreal, but Blaine holds back his instincts.  

He remembers his role and the game, and spouts a churlish attitude when he sees Kurt.  “Dude, why are you always lingering around here after the games?” Blaine flops himself down on the couch.  It doesn’t quite double for a locker room bench, but felt much safer trying to do this in their own home as opposed to a more public area.  He lets his legs flop open, and relaxes his posture, doing his best to resemble some straight jock of his imagination.  

Kurt’s lips slide into a wiley grin as turns into a character Blaine’s never quite seen before.  “I just thought I’d come congratulate you,” Kurt’s voice is higher than Blaine expects it to be.  He comes behind the couch, and begins to massage Blaine’s shoulders.  “You did win the game after all.”  

Blaine relaxes into Kurt’s touch, it feels so good, but Blaine down plays it, trying to act as if he’s bored and unaffected by the massage.  Kurt’s warm hands slip under the jersey, rubbing his shoulders hard before they travel lower, pinching his nipples. 

“Jesus fucking christ, what are you doing?” Blaine lets a little anger slip into his words.  He worries it might be too much, but Kurt’s doesn’t seem off put one bit.  

“Just giving you something I think you need,” Kurt says.  “The game’s over and you’re still so tense.”  Kurt goes back to rubbing his shoulders.  

“Well, how am I supposed to relax when a dude’s hands are all over me?” 

“Are you trying to tell me that you’ve never had this fantasy?” Kurt’s grin is wicked now as he backs away to come around the couch.  Kurt goes to his knees, settling in between Blaine’s legs, running his hands up Blaine’s thighs. “I’ve seen you, you know.  The way you try not to look at my ass during a game.  The way you touch yourself after you’ve seen me come out of the shower after practice.  I think you want this more than you know.”  

Blaine gives an unimpressed hand wave.  “Whatever, dude.  You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Do I?” Kurt’s eyebrow is arched high as he leans in towards Blaine’s crotch.  He doesn’t hesitate to suck a kiss to Blaine’s spandex covered cock.  He lets out an erotic moan as he does it again, and again; and Blaine doesn’t think he’s ever gotten so hard so quickly as he watches Kurt to continue to suck at his cock through the fabric.  He takes a second to run his fingers through Kurt’s hair, encouraging him to do more, even if he’s supposed to be pretending not to be into it.  “Are you sure you don’t want to know what it’s like to be sucked by someone who knows what they’re doing?  Are you sure you don’t want to fuck my mouth even a little?” Kurt looks up at him, his eyes dark and wide, daring him to suggest otherwise.  

His body is already betraying him, but Blaine keeps on character.  “Man, if you wanna - I’m not going to turn down a free blowjob.”  

Kurt licks his lips as he pulls down the spandex shorts, freeing Blaine’s cock.  “I always knew you’d be thick,” Kurt says, dragging his tongue up his shaft.  

Blaine shudders, Kurt always has known how to work his mouth.  Kurt sucks on the tip a little before sinking all the way down, his head beginning to bob up and down as he sucks Blaine off.  Blaine sits back and enjoys the pleasure of it, closing his eyes as he let’s Kurt work him.  God, he’s so good at this.  

Kurt then pulls off with a wet pop, replacing his mouth with his hand as brings the fabric lower to get at Blaine’s balls.  He sucks one in and then the other, making sure to give them proper attention as he continues to stroke Blaine’s cock.  

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Blaine utters, not being able to help himself.  

“Fuck?” Kurt says, his voice a husky whisper.  “I said you could fuck my mouth if you wanted to.”  

“C’mere,” Blaine says.  He grabs onto Kurt’s hair, a little rougher than he would normally, and guides his cock back to Kurt’s mouth.  Kurt grabs onto it, running the tip over his lips before allowing Blaine in again.  Then Kurt lets him take over, lets him fuck his mouth, lets him enjoy the warm, velvety heat.  It’s almost too much.  And just as Blaine gets close, Kurt pulls off.  

“Wha-the fuck you doing?” 

“Hold on, I’d like to readjust.”  Kurt leans back a little, pulling his own pants down, and setting them snug under his balls.  Kurt’s cock is long and hard and already leaking pre-come at the tip.  

Blaine wants to touch - wants to make him come in an instant, but refrains.  “Oh, you want to be a little tease now?  Well maybe you should play with yourself a bit.  I wanna see a show.”  

Kurt smirks, spitting on his hand before he brings it to his cock.  He begins to work his cock, pulling at it as he closes his eyes.  “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting you to see me like this,” he says as he fucks into his own fist.  His free hand begins to roam, hiking up his shirt to tweak at his nipple.  “How after seeing you during practice… a game, I’d get so turned on.  And then I’d touch myself afterwards.  I always hoped you’d see and just kiss me.  You’d kiss me hard and unafraid.  And after we’d make out, you’d just spin me around and fuck me against the lockers because you wanted me so bad.  Anyone could come in, but you just wouldn’t care because you wanted me so badly.” 

Kurt is the utter picture of sex as he arches into his hand.  It’s erotic and beautiful, and Blaine slowly pulls at his own cock because he can’t help himself.  “If you want to be fucked so badly, come and sit on my cock.  Use it to get yourself off.” 

It’s a bit of a demand, but Kurt complies willingly, getting himself quickly out of his pants and climbing onto Blaine’s lap.  Blaine pulls Kurt’s arms around his neck as they come together for a searing kiss.  It’s hot and messy and too dizzyingly amazing for Blaine to quite keep up the scenario, but all he wants to do is taste Kurt, feel him everywhere.  

“Jesus, fuck, Kurt,” Blaine says as Kurt begins to grind their hips together as they kiss, their cocks brushing up against one another.  “Are you gonna ride me or what.”  

Blaine slides his hands down to Kurt’s ass, squeezing Kurt’s asscheeks as he pulls them apart.  Kurt uses a little of his saliva on Blaine’s cock before slowly coming down on it.  It’s torturously slow as Kurt works his way to bottoming out. 

“Like this?” Kurt says, a bit cheekily as he begins to rise and fall.  Blaine steadies Kurt, holding him gently before Kurt begins to pick up speed.  It’s not long before Kurt’s bouncing on Blaine’s cock, letting out little obscenities as he loses himself in the pleasure of it all.  “Fuck you feel so good.  So deep inside me, Blaine, fuck, fuuuck, so good.”  

Blaine can only hold on as Kurt fucks himself on Blaine’s cock.  He can’t even concentrate on the scene anymore.  There’s nothing, just Kurt, and the cresting edge of his orgasm.  And it’s not long before he’s arching his own hips, pushing himself deep into Kurt as he comes.  Kurt’s close as well, and he uses his own hand to finish himself off, letting out an ecstatic cry as he comes over the both of them.  

“Was that okay?” Kurt asks, breathing heavily as they both come down.  He brings their foreheads together.  Gone is the teasing, young cheerleader, and present is his wonderful husband.  

“That was amazing,” Blaine says, drawing Kurt in for a kiss.  “I wasn’t too much was I? I know I got a little rough.” 

“No, not at all,” Kurt reassures him.  “You were perfect.”  

“I love you so much, Kurt.”  

“I love you, too.”

[thearvariblues]

Of all the flowers you picked

Inspired (unsurprisingly) by The Amazing Devil’s beautiful Elsa’s Song

*

Geralt didn’t believe the news about Jaskier’s death at first. He never did. Those rumors came and went all the time, spread mostly by wannabe-bards wanting to earn more money by claiming that their mediocre attempt at a ballad is the last work of the one and only Jaskier, or by Valdo Marx, who probably thought that if enough people believe in a thing, it will come into being.

Oh, no, Geralt didn’t believe his Jaskier was dead.

He was very much alive, as always, probably charming his way into a pretty boy’s pants right now.

And Geralt would meet him in Oxenfurt in a month, just as they’d agreed before parting ways, and they would have a good laugh.

*

But this rumor didn’t go away. It was actually becoming more and more widespread the closer he got to Oxenfurt.

He couldn’t get away from it. In every tavern he went to, at every market, he heard the same. The White Wolf’s bard had died.

With every step taken towards Oxenfurt, Geralt’s hope grew dimmer and dimmer, flickering feebly in his chest.

The accounts of what had actually happened to the bard differed, of course, from being stabbed by an angry husband of one of his conquests to drowning in a river while trying to save a student. And while Geralt could see the former being true, he couldn’t, for one second, believe the latter.

When the dying flame of hope in his chest finally went out, he was two days away from Oxenfurt, sitting in a tavern he had stopped at for night. He would have preferred to ride on, but he had pushed Roach enough during the past few days, and she needed her rest.

That was when he heard the whispered conversation between a young patron and a traveling minstrel.

“I’m telling you,” the patron was saying. “I study there, I know. He was just lying there in his bed like a ragdoll, staring. Someone must’ve poisoned him, I don’t know. Or it was magic. He was what, sixty? And he didn’t look a day over twenty. Maybe he just couldn’t afford whatever was keeping him young all that time.”

“Might have been a revenge,” the minstrel suggested. “He must’ve pissed lots of people off when he was alive.”

“I dunno,” the patron said. “If it was, I probably means he shouldn’t have got separated from that stupid Witcher of his.”

Geralt took a long, shaking breath.

He drank himself into oblivion that night. And the night after. And the next.

*

When he finally reached Oxenfurt, tired and reeking of cheap vodka, it didn’t take much to find someone who would point him to the place where they buried the bard – a little hill in a wood just west of the town walls.

Geralt knew from Jaskier’s stories that the bard always loved going there, either to think, compose, get drunk or, on several occasions, have a romantic midnight rendez-vous.

It was on his way there when he realized that he probably should have brought flowers. It was what people did, wasn’t it? Geralt didn’t really know. He mostly dealt with dead monsters, and those didn’t really care about common courtesy.

But then of course, Jaskier would rather see him bring the cheap vodka than some flowers.

And it didn’t matter, anyway. Because Jaskier was dead, and no matter what Geralt would do, he would stay that way.

But then he passed a window, and on its windowsill sat a flowerpot full of sage, and what harm would it do to just take a few of those little purple flowers and bring them to his bard? So Geralt did.

And then, a few minutes later, he also took several white lilies from a flowerbed near another house.

And then he plucked several red roses from a bush by the city gate.

And then, as he was crossing a stream in the wood, he saw little blue blooms in the grass, almost the same color as Jaskier’s eyes.

Geralt looked down at his mismatched bouquet and sighed. He heard an echo of a drunken conversation he and the bard had several years ago.

“One day, I’ll be dead,” Jaskier had said. “And you, my dear Wolf, will forget me. Boom. In a heartbeat.”

“No. No, Jaskier. No,” Geralt had insisted. “I will never forget you.”

“Prove it.”

“Prove it? How?”

“When I’m dead and you come to lay flowers on my grave – shut up, you will – I want you to bring me forget-me-nots.”

“But you won’t know if I did it or not. You’ll be…” he had gulped, unable to say the words.

“Dead,” Jaskier had finished for him. “I’ll be dead, Geralt. But I will know. Trust me. I will.”

“Fine. I’ll do it. Whatever.”

“Promise me, Geralt.”

“I promise.”

And now, Geralt bit his lip, staring at those tiny flowers mocking him with their color, and then he ran, ran away from the stream and the horrible blue blooms and his foolish promise.

He ran until he reached the hill, and on it, a simple grave with a little headstone, so unbecoming of the frivolous bard that Geralt wanted to scream.

He fell on his knees in front of the headstone, breathing heavily, and placed the tiny bouquet on the ground, hand shaking.

So this was it. This was where his bard would forever rot.

Geralt closed his eyes, feeling the tell-tale prickle of tears.

His urge to scream grew stronger, memories of Jaskier rushing through his mind no matter how hard he tried to stop them. Everything they’d been through, great adventures and small ones, and everyday moments, too. He could almost hear Jaskier’s melodic voice, see his bright smile, and his eyes, blue, so blue…

“I love you,” he said, words he’d never dared to say, to even think too loud. He threw his head back and looked up to the sky. “You hear me?” he shouted. “I fucking love you you dead bastard!”

He didn’t know what he expected. A rainbow? A little bird singing the melody of Toss a Coin To Your Witcher? Some fucking sign that the bard heard?

He knew what he didn’t expect.

He didn’t expect to actually hear Jaskier’s voice by his side.

“Of all the flowers you picked…”

Geralt gasped for breath as a man stepped into his line of vision – and it was Jaskier, looking just as he did he last time Geralt saw him, but also different somehow. His eyes seemed brighter, his skin was almost glowing, and his smile…

Geralt’s medallion hummed.

“I knew you would forget,” the bard said, his inhuman face grinning, “forget-me-nots.”

[lovelystay]

𝑀𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 - 𝐽𝑖𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔🍒 💣1/2

(𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡)

[Rᴇsᴜᴍᴇ : Jisung is obsessed with you so he asked his parents to arrange a wedding . Your family, on the other hand, is pretty poor so they immediately agree. You don’t like it but can't do something to stop them... there will be some smut but little fluff at the end.]

~Pᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ ɴᴏɴ ᴄᴏɴ sᴍᴜᴛ~

Jisung finds everything about you perfect , from your head until your toes , inside like outside , you were the most perfect human he had ever seen . He believed you were his soulmate , lovely and kind with him when even his own « friends » found him weird . You acted this way around him because the little boy was very adorable and cute , but mostly by pity ...

Nobody stayed around him a lot and it looked like you were the only person he would smile and be happy with .

And it was true , Han liked you a lot , you actually think he have a crush on you , he treated you like you were his girlfriend . You weren’t against it though , he offered you a lot of stuff , and your family wasn’t really wealthy , so it was win win for both of you . He gets to be with his « crush » and you get to not pay for food and stuffs and worry about money .

But for jisung , all of this will lead to something else much important , he wasn’t buying you things and treating you like a princess for you to leave him a week later . In facts , he wanted to make you his , completely. To marry you basically. The cute boy was always spying on you by some way, because you were the only person he cared of , and you actually cared of him too . So why not , right ?

He was getting sick every time he had to leave you , jisung always wanted to be by your side , to see you . He thought that secretly taking pictures of you and stay the whole night watching them would make him feel better , but no , he wants to feel you , to hug you .

Being away from you would now bring him into a sudden episode of depression, he won’t have the strength to do anything and can’t smile at all . Seeing you became vital for him .

So he went and had a discussion with his parents . They were worried for him , every time they saw him , he looked sad , hurt and won’t talk at all . They could do anything to bring a smile on their only child’s face again .

So , as soon as jisung entered the big room his mom ran to him . « Hello jisung ~ are you okay ? Do you need anything sweetheart? » she asks in a rush , desesparated to make him happy and figure out what’s wrong .

« Actually , yes . Yes I need something » Han answers . « Can you bring dad , I need to talk to the two of you » he continued .

Han’s mother go upstairs , running to find her husband . She comes back with him still in a rush , dragging him by the arm .

Jisung sits down on the long and expensive couch , he invites his parents to do the same in front of him and starts to talk , «  Mom and dad , I’ve found someone I really love » he ignores his parents surprise and big eyes and continue « I always miss her and I’m sad whenever I don’t see her . You’ve noticed too right ? »

« Yes we’ve did , everything was just because of a girl ? » his dad answers and asks .

« It’s not just a girl , I really feel empty without her , I want her to be mine... »

« We understand , but , why would you say that to us instead of asking her to be your girlfriend ? » han’s mother asks confused .

« I’m going straight to the point , I want to marry her , I want her to be my wife »

« Jisung ! She’s not even your girlfriend ! We do not even know her name... »

« Y/n , y/l/n y/n , do you accept and support it or not ? »

« Jisung , you can’t just do that »

After a long debate going on between Han jisung and his parents , they finally accept . They’ve thought of it , and , it was the only thing that could make him happy . And they were rich anyway , a wedding wouldn’t be annoying financially. Jisung gave his dad your parents number , because , of course he have those basic information, to let them call your parents and convince them .

His dad promised them money and wealth if they would let you marry their son Han jisung . Your parents thought about the offer a lot after the call , they had a debate concerning the wedding . But there wasn’t many negative point . They weren’t going to pay anything and are going to get out of the poverty they were in for years .

Your parents said it was good for you as well , so they called back and accepted.

It was now late and you came back from school , you were exhausted and tired . With the small energy you have left , you run to your room to do what you waited for all day , sleep . But as soon as you jump on your bed to get some rest , you hear the sudden voice of your mom which prevented you from doing so .

« Come down y/n , we need to tell you something ... »

You let out a long sigh , you were sensitive right now and didn’t want to talk to anyone . But it seemed to be important so you join your mom in the living room . Your mom and dad were looking strangely nervous , your mom was playing with her fingers and rings and your dad couldn’t even make an eye contact with you .

« i can’t understand what’s going on but can you please be quick , I’m very tired »

Your dad’s breath was shaky and he sighed like he was preparing to tell you something big and important , which made your heart beat a little faster and awoken you a bit . Instead of your tired eyes they had now your entire attention. They’ve never been so weird around you .

« You know we are pretty poor right ? »

You bob your head up and down agreeing with him .

« Wouldn’t it be great if we would be less poor ? Or even rich ? »

You giggle a bit and say « of course it would be great , nobody would disagree with that »

Your mom smile gently and asks « do you know Han jisung ? You like him right ? »

You were surprised and didn’t understand where they’re point and all of those question were supposed to lead .

« Continue » you didn’t want to respond to that question , you just wanted to know what your parents wanted to say .

« He said he liked you a lot , he wants to ... » your dad say hesitantly.

« To marry you » your mom finish .

« Well I’ll just tell him no , what the hell does that have to do with all of us ? »

« Listen , their parents said he is really sad when he’s away from you , his parents hated to see him like that and they promised us a lot of money if you’d marry him »

Your dad finally confess. You felt horribly disappointed and betrayed by your own family .

« So you said yes to them ?! Did you two even thought of how I feel ? If I like him ?! You don’t even know if he’s a perv or a bad person but you just agreed to literally sell your only daughter’s happiness for money ?! Seriously ? »

« Calm down y/n , it’s even beneficial for you , you’ll finally be rich and live like the princess you deserve to be , Han jisung is pretty handsome too , I don’t understand why you’re so mad » your mom dare to say.

« If I want money I’ll gain it myself , I don’t need a fucking weird rich boy like him to live happily »

You rushed into your room to cry , you hated to show your « weakness » and cry in front of your parents . You try to be quiet and ruin your pillow to muffle your cry in it .

•*•*•*•*•

The wedding is in 3 days , you are still against it , your parents are still for it .

Jisung’s parents prepared everything , you had nothing else to do but wait . They didn’t even have you the location or the instructions, they told you that a private driver was going to get you . The only time you’ll see jisung it at the actual wedding . You would try and run away before the d-day but your parents would never let you . Now you only see them as the worst person in the world , you never want to see them again , you didn’t care how poor you and your family was , how can you sell your daughter for money and force her to marry a random guy you don’t even know .

You were cleaning your room and complaining about your fate when you receive a message from jisung . You open and read them .

Han jisung

[ hi y/n ]

[did they send you the dress ? ❤️ ]

You close your phone and throw it on your bed , yes they did send the dress but you absolutely didn’t want to talk to him , everything started because of him and his obsession for you . Now your family is breaking and you’ll have to be with him for the rest of your life . You start crying again , the feeling that you can’t do anything to stop it made you angry and stressed out .

•*•*•*•*•

During those three days before the disaster , you were alive but dead at the same time . You hated your parents and wanted to make them feel bad about they’re decision by just locking yourself in your room . You know it would hurt them and you did it on purpose , you only ate two meals during those three days . You didn’t want to marry jisung but you’re forced . How could you feel happy or joyful about this .

Your mom dragged you to the expensive looking car , you were going to get prepared for the wedding . When you got there you were amazed , it is so beautiful , it felt forbidden for a poor girl like you to even be able to see such a pretty and luxury looking place . The people working looked like they already knew who you were , they were waiting for you . Many people came and after the greetings they rapidly set themselves to work . Many person were taking care of you at the same time , you felt special but uncomfortable . They helped you put on your dress and heels , made your hair , did your make up , gave you snacks , did your nails etc ...

Everything seemed to be ready and you got back to the car where the driver was waiting . You wanted to cry but held the tears in not wanting to ruin the amazing make up they did on your face . After arriving at the town hall you saw a lot of people you didn’t even recognize that were waiting for you. You were walking and walking with a bouquet of flowers in your hands . The stress made you hold them really tight you thought you were going to break them . Jisung was right in front of you , you could see in his eyes that he loved the way you looked . Everything went good until the moment arrived where you needed to say yes to jisung . You wanted to say no , but you were too scared of the consequences and the silence started to get awkward . You said yes , he kissed you , you didn’t kiss him back , and everyone clapped . The discomfort obvious on your face and the love obvious in jisung’s eyes . After the party that was thrown you didn’t saw you’re parents anymore . They’ve already packed your stuff and send them to han’s parents . Talking about them , they’ve rented a big house for you and jisung , they wanted for you two to get to know each other better . Maybe they should’ve made us do that before getting us married ...

You took off everything , showered and put on your pyjamas . During the wedding and even after , jisung was trying to talk to you , laugh with you , he was clingy . But you ignored him the whole time . So since the beginning of the wedding and a little before you did not have a proper conversation with someone who is now your spouse .

« Y/n » said jisung entering your room .

« Let’s talk »

[shinelikethunder]

I kinda like Bates but I hate Lord Graham and now yes, I do think they had something going on during the war maybe??? In a is not gay because we’re in the war way??? Also I love how this show is like “this character doesn’t like to work day and night for this rich family, doesn’t think it’s a Great Honour, therefore they’re evil” Also let’s turn the Irish socialist into a English-loving rich dude. Mary is amazing though. She and Sybil look like paintings.

Bates is written to be more-or-less likeable, but I found myself getting more and more weirded out by his insistence on being The Most Quietly Martyred S.O.B. In The Room the more collateral damage his dumb point-of-honor stunts would've caused. Also, like... he admits to having been violent with his previous wife, we have only his mom's word that he Wasn't That Bad Really, and said wife is a great example of the show building "...therefore they're evil" strawmen out of anyone who talks shit about the house's faves. All of which is a fantastic set of cues not to take the text at its word about the circumstances of her death. Or at least to deeply doubt that Bates is going to continue being Such A Great Husband to Anna the instant she does something to actually, truly piss him off.

But yes, all of this makes me all the more infuriated by how convinced I am that Bates and Lord Grantham had some intricate fucking rituals going on during the war. All the more so after both of them reacted to the whole "shock, horror, Thomas tried to kiss one of the footmen!" drama by going "boo fucking hoo, if I lost my shit every time a guy tried to kiss me in a homosocial pressure-cooker environment, I wouldn't have any shit left to lose."

The strawmannery... was mostly just entertainingly bad tbh, until it started targeting Daisy The Kitchen Dogsbody with its usual trick of "how dare you have opinions I think are foolish! time to make you express them really obnoxiously, then punish you for your obnoxiousness--the ultimate sin in the land of social graces!" At that point IMO it took a hard turn into "...actually this is deeply fucked-up," because we've seen over the course of many seasons just WHY this kid can only manage to assert herself with the stridency of someone who knows that any dissenting opinion too loud to be steamrollered is going to start a fucking world war. And then the show turns around and uses her anger (and underlying lack of confidence and self-esteem) as evidence that she deserves to be bullied and steamrollered, because she's too flaky to know her own mind or have "reasonable" opinions or whatever. Just, an escalating spiral of "what the fuck" whose horror vibes intensify with every career goal she gets shamed out of and every relationship she gets coerced into.

Re: Mary and Sybil: yesss both incredibly gorgeous, and also, what a way to illustrate the distinction between a Poor Little Meow Meow and a Precious Cinnamon Roll. (Thomas, of course, is the Ultimate Poorest of Little Meow Meows... and he and Mary share similar vibes of "you have brought so much of this on yourself, but I still think you deserve to commit all the crimes you want against these assholes, you fabulous little bitch.")

[arsenicpanda]

Because it’s your day for asks, apparently. River!parents ranked please!!!

Ok, so, I cannot numerically rank these, that is too hard.  No, what you’re getting is a tier list.

S TIER

Gladys: Boss ass bitch, hard ass, an icon.  Took out Penny’s eye because she almost killed her son, she’s so protective, only she is allowed to hurt her son.  Bonus points for fondly reminiscing over committing armed robbery with her husband in her youth.  Also hot af, lbr.  Please come back, Gladys, I miss you.

Hiram: Fuckin’ dramatic loser, not a sixteen-year-old nerd playing games except HE IS.  Ridiculous, over the top, deeply amusing to watch.  He wants his daughter to be his protege, but she refuses, so he turns her into his rival and it’s just amazing because he 100% views her as a legitimate rival even though she’s a fucking teenager, I love him.  Also, whenever a man hurts Veronica, he’ll fuck him up, and I respect that.  My fondness for Hiram has never been as high as when he told Archie that Veronica was the best thing to ever happen to him.  Also also, he’s clearly scheming to get Veronica and Archie back together in the hopes that this time she’ll invite him to her wedding (she won’t).

Sierra: ACE ATTORNEY SIERRA MCCOY!  So corrupt, I love her.  Also, did you see her in Katy Keene?  Because she was an icon looking out for her daughter.  Also, her dynamic with Jughead is 10/10 and her vibe is 200/10, need more Sierra McCoy in my life.

Penelope: SUCH a delight, SO over the top, COMPLETELY awful, I love her and her one glove.  Hides in the walls to gaslight her daughter but also gives her daughter the gift of murdered enemies for graduation, the most thoughtful gift possible in Riverdale.  Turned herself in for “some of” her crimes, presumably only the ones she thought weren’t completely justified, so maybe two or three of them.  Please bring her back later, I am begging you.

A TIER

Fred: Good and wholesome but kind of bland.  A loving father, but points deducted for being a dick to Jughead that one time in 1x13.  Never forget, never forgive.

Mary: A bicon and neglectful landlord, but also clearly doesn’t require references for house renters, so good for her.  Otherwise bland, but points for mostly not sucking.

B TIER

None

C TIER

Tom:  WHERE IS YOUR SON, TOM?  Is he cruising?  In a cult?  WHERE IS HE, TOM?  Tom never knows where his son is, which is a problem because his son is Kevin, king of bad choices.  A better father to Archie than to Kevin, smh.

FP: Earned a lot of points for Complex Personal Reasons, but points lost and deducted when he told Jughead he couldn’t come with them to Toledo.  Jellybean literally acted out to spend time with her brother and Jughead just wants his family together, and you’re gonna pull this shit?  Boooooo.  Still, he’s pretty amusing and a clear bughead shipper, and points added for being v gay with Fred and v sexy with Gladys.

D TIER

Miles: As a former theatre kid, I cannot overlook how absolutely awful it was for him to walk out of his daughter’s performance when it was almost fucking done, like HOW DARE.  A personal slight to me, and I’ll never forgive him for it.  Would be at C tier if not for the Theatre Kid Outrage.

Clifford:  Murderer but also super bland, so he goes here.

Hermione: Higher tiers in earlier seasons, but now she’s kind of meh and also told her daughter to stay with Chad after her daughter told her about like three red flag behaviors of Chad’s, so boo hiss to her.

TRASH TIER

Hal: A terrible serial killer who keeps trying to control women’s bodies (red flag!!) and also made Betty murder her cat.  I’m GLAD Penelope shot him, and I hope he rots in hell.

Alice: Stopped being fun when they stopped having her main trait be vicious wine mom and instead wanted to make her tragic.  Booooo, boring!  And then she gave away Betty’s college money and sold the house and just askjflsjf I’m done with Alice as Betty’s mom and she isn’t even fun anymore.  Call me when you’re extremely mean again, Alice.