#mostly because she and peter would have ended up trying to kill each other in the silo for sport

[goldeneyedgirl]

seriously what the hell happened to the grain silo, i think it's the second time i read this in your fics 😭

I knew I used it somewhere else before STL, and I couldn't remember where but it's now a fixed point in Jasper's time in the South for all of my fics.

This is a very rough outline of what happened, and details could change in the future as I refine it.

So, I need you to imagine that this is around the time that Peter and Jasper become besties, they trust each other, they joke around, things are not yet Awful. Peter's no longer a newborn but still has a dose of impulsivity that hasn't yet worn off.

Maria sends them out to scout on a perfectly quiet night. They're joking and not taking it as seriously as they should because there's no reason to - no fresh scents, no evidence of enemies, just a night in the middle of nowhere. Peter suggests they run a little outside their territory, scope out an area Maria is interested in, before they report back.

So they venture down towards an old farm that's abandoned, trashed etc.

Big mistake. They're caught by scouts from another army (Mirabel's; I don't think Mirabel has been mentioned in anything posted yet but if she has, she's back) and there are way more of Mirabel's scouts than Jasper and Peter, and they recognise Jasper.

The smart thing to do would be to get the fuck back onto Maria's territory, head straight back for backup and deal with these scouts. But no one ever accused Peter of being smart.

So Peter barrels towards the farm, figuring they can use it for cover, or at least get the high ground for the upcoming fight. Jasper goes after him, already realising this is a terrible idea. The scouts follow them.

Fighting occurs, several farm buildings are wiped out, and ultimately, the silo is the last thing standing. Both Peter and Jasper have some bites, are frustrated, and the last three scouts are being difficult. So they climb the grain silo.

This thing is so old. It's been abandoned for years, somehow survived a fire, and is no longer water-tight. It is powerfully unsafe for a human.

Peter is perched at the top and Jasper is still climbing, uneasy by the smell coming from decades of rotten, mouldy grain, and how structurally unsound it is.

And just as Jasper reaches the top, ready to put Peter on a leash for the next decade, the silo lets out a groan and collapses. Well, Jasper and Peter fall *into* the silo as it tips.

It's a very interesting smell, they are smothered in the dark surrounded by rotting grain and free-falling, and Jasper knows exactly how dangerous the situation is - they are essentially sitting ducks. The sound it makes as it hits the ground is heard right back at Maria's base.

Of course, the scouts figure they've basically won, they just have to kill Jasper and Peter inside the silo, so they go in to trap them.

Only to have both Peter and Jasper silently drag them under the grain and behead them like some kind of nightmare fuel grain shark.

It would be terrifying; you think you've cornered your enemy, you climb inside this busted silo to see your future victims and suddenly an arm grabs you and pulls you under and that's all she wrote. You die with a mouthful of mouldy grain and the realisation that it doesn't matter how stupid the situation is, the Major of Monterrey will win every time.

One of the scouts does put up a decent fight with Peter which basically ends with Peter, Jasper and the Scout slipping and sliding inside the silo, trying to get traction long enough to not die and kill the other guy. Very slapstick.

So Peter and Jasper climb out of the silo, smelling fascinating and covered with mould and muck and grain, and Jasper is not amused as they gather the parts to burn.

As they stand around the fire, Peter breaks the silence and goes "So..."

"We never speak of this again. No one will ever find out about this."

They do have to tell Maria that the farm she wanted is decimated and blame Mirabel's scouts. They had nothing to do with it, they just killed the scouts. Who even knows what went down. Not them.

It takes a little bit of time for Jasper to be amused by that incident, and by the time he's joined the Cullens, he thinks that it's hilarious. They fucking tipped over a grain silo because Peter was still in his untrained-puppy phase of development. They stank for a month because Peter had decided that Jasper could win any fight ever and that the solution to the problem he created was to climb a death trap.

Peter still denies that it ever happened.

[erinwantstowrite]

what would be the reaction of each one of the bats to peter hugging them out of the blue ?

i actually have an entire page in my notebook dedicated to keeping track of this (mostly it was a prompt to get in the writing mood but now it's a reference)

Dick: obviously met with joy and an immediate hug back, they will not be letting go until 30 minutes later. he is crying but trying not to let Peter tell that he is. yes he does this nearly every time

Bruce: i think he would cry. Bruce doesn't cry often (in front of people at least) but if this happened he would get all teary eyed. mostly because he's thinking back to when Dick was that age and he would hug Bruce + he knows it's a big sign of trust if Peter is hugging you. he'd also hug Peter back but it'd take him a second to figure out what's going on

Jason: freezes for long enough that Peter pulls away and says 'sorry.' this happens a few times before Jason is used to it and he hugs Peter back. he also now has to make up for how he reacted before so Peter's the only one allowed to hug him for more than five seconds (I hc that Jay isn't great with physical affection like he was Before but he does like physical affection.)

Tim: he's used to Dick's random hugs so while he wasn't expecting it the first time and he took a second, he gets the hang of this very fast and he hugs Peter back every time

Steph: absolutely overjoyed. she'll be confused but she's the one who hugs him back and swings him around. she will continue to be happy for the rest of the day. she's more used to Peter hugs (1. because of Dick, just like Tim but also 2. because Peter isn't as hesitant around her).

Duke: confusion, awkward hug with a pat on the back the first few times. the more hugs he gets, the more comfortable he is with it. the first hug = "If anything happens to this kid I will end the world as we know it." and by the fourth surprise hug Duke has learned to hug Peter first

Cass: she's not surprised at all. she knew it would be coming and by the time Peter figures out he wants to hug her, she's opened her arms. i think Cass would love gentle hugs for herself, but often knows what type of hugs other people need/like best. like sometimes you just need a hug that crushes you a little bit and other times you just want someone there. Cass has it figured out

Dami: SWEARS that Peter is being so weird and so awful but the longer he's away from the League and the more he hangs out with his family the more he understands that he likes physical affection. He hugs Peter back but it's hesitant the first few times. Later on, though, Dami accepts and gives hugs. and if Dami is sitting on the couch Peter will flop onto the couch with his entire body weight. Dami promises to kill him every time but never goes through with it. they'll chill there for a little bit. classic sibling bothering.

Babs: has been used to hugs from Dick for a while, but she's surprised to realize that Peter trusts her that much. that's also when she realizes how much she cares about him and, like Duke, decides that if anything happened to Peter, she'd make someone rue the day

Alfred: just like with all of his grandchildren, Alfie doesn't initiate the hug first. but they know that if they want a hug, Alfie's there for them.

[90percentstudios]

What D&D classes would the CKC cast play as, and what would be their playstyle?

cody - changeling rogue. he'd get obsessed with trying to ride on the back of a hill giant instead of just freakin' killing it, and would probably forget he can do stuff like shapeshifting/bonus actions/etc 80% of the time. he's pretty deadly when he's locked in though, but it'd take some proof and convincing that an enemy is worthy of death. he'd also doodle while playing, heavily distracting him, but at least by the end of each session there's a bunch of silly drawings his friends can flip through.

mini - changeling cleric. the twins are both changelings cuz of everyone in the series, i think they're the only ones that've achieved being losers, cool kids, gods, averaged, AND banned. she's actually a big fan of making overly complicated plans, whether it's a heist, a jailbreak, you know she's got a dozen pastel gel pens to plan it all out! unfortunately she's got horrific luck, consistently rolling under 10. at least the plan goes well when someone else is carrying it out.

peter - human paladin. he has perfect recollection of all the rules and likes the game to be as immersive as possible, because convincing himself he's really a heroic paladin that people like and respect was his copium as a loser. that being said, post-series pb would have a bit more fun, especially with cody there to involve him in all his crazy antics.

juvie - tiefling barbarian/fighter multiclass. they frequently have to reassure their team they're not a violent psychopath irl, it's just that if you're playing in a world where you can do anything, why WOULDN'T you give every kobold a uniquely gruesome death and decorate your camp with their guts as a show of force? anyway they're very combat focused.

peggy - wood half-elf druid. any chance she has to transform into a unicorn she takes (it's not technically allowed but daniel allows her to turn into a horse that has a horn for flavor). she mostly trots around, eats apples, gives people horsey-rides, makes friends with other animals and often demands that daniel allow them to resurrect their friends (ahem cody) whenever they miraculously die.

holden - human bard. he actually brings his guitar and plays a short tune whenever he uses bard magic, it really adds to the immersion! he's also the party-face, meaning he's in charge of persuading the guards not to imprison everyone just because juvie tested the flammability of the local tavern's liqueurs. after a dozen of these instances he's gotten in the habit of telling guards "i've never seen that tiefling in my life."

daniel - elf wizard, (though he'd focus on dming, he'd probably include his own character in the campaign at peggy's request because "he'd be left out" if he didn't). his character would offer important exposition when it's already too late and punish the others for their reckless shenanigans by not helping them when they're in a bind. "it's better for character growth" he says.

gigi - sorcerer. she'd immediately grasp the rules, min-max the hell out of her character, remind people to use their ability modifiers and always be on the hunt for the best equipment, often getting holden to help bargain for them with his high charisma stat. her gamer-brain's also got a good memory for the lore of the campaign. "where was the grand exchange again?" "it was north east of kragmaw, remember?" "..." "in that cave in the side of the mountain?" "..." "you caused a cave-in that cut the water supply off from the local town, displacing hundreds?" "... ooooh, right."

rhyme - astral elf. would join the campaign a bit later than the others since she'd still be getting used to the friend group and all. everyone would welcome her in and they'd all grow as friends. she's annoyingly good at everything as always, yet somehow whenever she's near, mishap seems to follow. juvie's certain she's up to no good but no one believes them, until some pivotal moment when daniel reveals he'd invited her to play as a double agent on the side of evil and in order to complete the quest they must all fight to the death. when asked why the hell he'd do something like that he says "dammit i told you cody, FOR CHARACTER GROWTH!!" rhyme has stellar acting and everyone fights her with teary eyes, until... i dunno, they find some secret option of exorcising her of evil and completing the quest and no one dies and yadda yadda happy ending. anyway juvie gives a very well-deserved i told you so and rhyme admits her being the secret villain was a bit on the nose but she enjoyed the theatre of it all.

[dearest-painter]

How would Yandere Platonic! Miguel react to seeing miles after he beheads Daki! Reader?

Miles is fucked now that miguel is 100 times blood thirsty and feral

Daki! Reader would be grinning as Miguel tortures miles 😭

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship, abusive behavior, abusive relationship, Miguel fucks Miles up, mentions of beheading, Daki!Reader is a sadistic little shit, Miguel is blood thirsty and wants blood, Miles is FUCKED, Miguel shows no mercy in this, Miles isn’t dead as Reader finds his fear entertaining and wishes for him to stay alive just for his fear, Miguel breaks and beats Miles to PIECES!, Lyla supports this as she’s an AI and Miguel made sure she wouldn’t be surprised by this, tell me if I need to add more

Summary:He regrets it all..he regrets following Gwen..he regrets being curious but…he mostly regrets beheading you, he should’ve just gone with you willingly so that he didn’t have to deal with this but now a pissed off and blood thirsty Miguel is after him….Miles wish he listened to Gwen when she said not to talk to you…

You were giggling at the sight, your big brother was now chasing the BRAT that beheaded you. “Y/N please tell Miguel to stop!” You rolled your eyes at Gwen’s request, she’s a sweet girl and all but she should know by now that you and Miguel feel no mercy to those who hurt either of you. “Gwen you’ve been here long enough, tell me, why would we demons do something that wouldn’t benefit or protect each other?” Gwen’s eyes widen when she realized..Jessica was right, you both were heartless who only care for each other. You looked back to see Miles crying as he ran away from Miguel.

“GET BACK OVER HERE AND MAKE THIS SHIT EASY PERRA!(Bitch) ALL OF THIS CAN END SO EASY AND YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR UNCLE! GET OVER HERE ANOMALY!” Miguel was feral, you liked seeing this as it made him less mercifulness plus it lets him eat! Miguel was chasing him on all fours..this BRAT ALMOST KILLED HIS SISTER! THIS BRAT ALMOST TOOK THE ONLY PERSON HE CARES FOR! HES NOT LETTING THAT GO! Peter B was surprised as he looked at you…you were laughing and smiling in joy and happiness…this all was a show for you..your just as heartless as Jessica had said.

Soon Miguel grabbed Miles’s head then threw him towards a wall, he was panting..Miguel looked over at you to see you laughing and smiling…if a show is what his little sister wants then a show she’ll get. Miguel stomped on Miles’s shoulder as Miles screamed a bit. “LOOK AT ME BRAT!” Miles opened his eyes to see a blurry, in rage Miguel who was close to him. “Listen here, you hurt mi hermana(my sister) and thought you’d get away with it but your wrong…no one gets away with hurting her” Miguel kicked Miles in the stomach a few times, Break his leg, and stomped on his wrist a few times…Miles was bleeding but not enough to die…he was ready to rip his head off until Lyla appeared.

“Don’t kill him yet, let him be afraid every living moment as you know Y/N likes seeing people fear her and you everyday! Plus Y/N sent me down to tell you that” Miguel groaned then yelled as he threw a rock, no he wasn’t mad at you he just wanted to BREAK miles a few more times. “Fine…tell Y/N Miles won’t die since she finds his fear amusing” “Got it big man!” Lyla then went to your watch as Miguel sighed and scoffed at Miles. “Your pathetic, couldn’t even try to fight back..not as good as a show I wanted for Y/N but a show non the less…Understand this you little shit, your still alive because Y/N wanted you alive, if it wasn’t for her YOU’D BE DEAD!” Miguel then roughly picked him up to take him to the infirmary wing.

As long as his little sister was happy then he’d do anything for her. Her happiness is very important to him, just seeing her smile and hearing her laugh makes his work better. His little sister is the reason he hasn’t fucking killed everyone. Peter B was still scared but he heard Mayday laughing so he immediately snapped his head to the area to see you gently throwing Mayday in the air. “The baby goes up, up, up, and up! The baby goes up, up, up, and up!” You kept repeating that as you followed Miguel while smiling “Is that all you can think of N/N?” “Yes sadly, don’t worry I’ll think of something else baby spider! Oh your just so cute! Oh you wanna go up again? Okay! The baby goes up, up, up, and up!” Mayday was squealing and Giggling while Miles half awake and half not awake was being dragged to the infirmary wing bloody….just who has he been letting Mayday be close to?

[hetalia-club]

Stark Family Tree

This is only immediate family.

House Stark

Not my favorite house at all. But they are the subject of the main character of my main story in my AU.

Why exactly does Ivan think Peter is his bastard? Well probably because Amelia told him that, why did she do that? She's not even totally sure. She also told him that he was never born and she drank moon tea to get rid of it. Which is what she was SUPPOSED to do with Arthur’s kid but she didn't really feel like it. She lives for creating unnecessary drama in her life and pinning powerful men against each other and watching them fight over her like rabid dogs a girl needs a hobby I guess. Not like she can play Nintendo or something.

Not to mention if he just thought about it logically for a second, which is asking a lot here. He would realize the time lines don't even add up. But 'not using their brains' is what got both he and Arthur into this situation. Poor Amelia just wants to go to Essos...just someone drop her off there already and forget about her she causes so many problems. Abandon her in the Dothraki Sea she would be fine. She would be married to a Khal in a week and have them all convinced she’s their moon goddess. She would be fine.

Lovino actually doesn't care about any of this and he's off at Casterly Rock dicking around. Which is his favorite thing to do.

Now I can explain this situation a little bit. Amelia was engaged to Arthur first. 2 years ago before the story starts he snuck her away one night and took her sailing, this is where Peter comes from. When he was born her father shipped him away to Pyke to 'hide her shame' assuming when they got married they could just brush it under the rug and legitimize him and then no one would care. Which she was very upset about as you can imagine. She did get to name him at least before they sent him away. She would ask Arthur about him a lot in letters. This left Arthur at an Impasse, he had zero desire to raise a kid. But allowed Peter to just exist in his house basically because he was his key to Amelia. She started showing a lot more interest in him romantically when he had her son at his house.

After Arthur broke a treaty her father called off their engagement and set her up with Lovino Tyrell. Amelia didn't want to marry him because she thinks he's boring and instead started messing around with her cousin Ivan because she really just wants to fly his dragon across the sea. So she sets up this whole murder plot to kill his sister and Ivan is dragging his feet about actually doing it afraid for you know 'getting caught' which is a very big deal and would end them both being killed. So, Irritated with that Amelia starts up sending love letters to Arthur. I mean she doesn't actually mean what she's writing in them and it's more just to get him worked up and make him mad. Again she just wants his boats. Om her side that’s all this is and all it’s ever been, while Arthur genuinely believes she is madly in love with him and revels in it. He does not necessarily ‘love’ her in the traditional sense and she is mostly a status piece for him. She very beautiful and a lot of the high lords want her as matches for their sons, so it’s like a “haha look who I have” type thing for him. He does think she’s beautiful and he does think he’s in love with her. But again it’s more of an obsession than actual love. So she sets up an elaborate kidnapping for herself by him. He takes her away to Pyke. He wants to get married basically the second she steps off the ship and she just rolls with it. But she kind of hates him a little bit because he's a prick and always drunk but he's a pirate so what can you expect. But he's also like crazy about her, like actually crazy. Like 'If you try and leave me I'll lock you in a cell, but don't worry it would be a nice cell.' crazy. So now she's stuck there. Too bad so sad, play stupid games win stupid prizes. But she is pretty happy to have her son back, so that’s one win I guess.

[booksandbo]

A Jily thing I had:

“Are you gonna ask out Evans again this time Prongs?” Sirius asked the slightly tipsy boy next to him.

“I’ll do one better” the young boy set off towards the group of girls that included Lily Evans as well as her other dorm mates.

“Hello Potter” Marlene McKinnon addressed the captain of the Quidditch team.

“Hi McKinnon, I was wondering if I could steal Evans for a minute” the girls looked at one another and then at Lily, which she nodded at them.

“Okay but don’t do anything to our girl” Mary said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Uh huh” I dragged Lily into a corner where the boys dorms meet the common room kissing her slightly, and once I felt her respond, I became more dominant with her and pulled her up to the dorms.

————————————————————

“So uh Potter, Lily called me over the summer and you’re in so much trouble.” Mary said the second she spotted the four marauders waiting at the train.

“What did I do?” James was a little confused as he didn’t remember doing anything with Lily before the end of school year.

“She’ll tell you in private, I heard you’re both head boy and girl now” James wordlessly nodded, walking away to find Lily.

“So what did he do?” Remus turned to Mary.

“This was mostly to get him away because they screwed at the last party between all the houses cause of Quidditch-“ Remus started to connect the dots before Mary finished.

“She’s pregnant? During our 7th year? What the fuck?” Remus whispered, both Sirius and Peter smacking each other so they didn’t have an outburst- or well Sirius anyways.

“Yes, now James doesn’t know so he’s going to find Lily and she’ll tell him…the girls already know…and he looks like he’s gonna faint boys- let’s go” Mary and the boys quickly walked over to where Lily and James were….she had the small stick with her that had that damned plus line still.

“I would say congratulations, but how the fuck are you gonna have a kid whilst still in your seventh year?” Sirius whispered yelled once they got into their usual cabin.

“I don’t know, I just know I won’t leave them with my family cause they already think I’m a freak! James’ mum is a nurse- maybe she could help….I don’t know” James’ cringed at the mention of his mother.

“Mum would kill me, knowing I’d have a kid now- she’s already practically adopted Sirius but another blood relative she’d practically die becoming a grandmother so young” James’ looked at his friends, then Lily and then down at the table.

“Well I guess I just charm my stomach to not look pregnant and then we talk to McGonagall because she’ll need to know theirs gonna be a child in the dorms now” everyone in the cabin nodded.

———————————————————

“As head boy and head girl, I expected better out of the two of you” McGonagall started “but as the circumstances have changed, I suppose your free periods will now be ultimately fulfilling a child’s needs that the elf’s can’t help you with” Lily nodded at McGonagall and then looked at the floor.

“Do your parents know Miss Evans?” The elder woman looked towards the 17 year old girl in front of her.

“No Professor, they bid me a freak and do not talk to me during my time at home” She glanced up at her Head of House.

“Mr Potter, what about yourself? Do they know?” She never referred to him as ‘Mr Potter’, not since their first year. This was serious, more serious than any prank they could pull.

“No Professor, I only found out before the train. I will owl mum and dad to see what is best for us” He stood straighter, looking McGonagall straight in the eyes.

“Best hope so, I know your mother is a nurse at St. Mungo’s and Poppy can do her best to help you both on the way. Try and hide this pregnancy as much as possible and we’ll all try and help as much as possible until the baby is born…in July I believe?” Both teenagers nodded.

“Well your exams will be then and I am willing to help if needed, you know that I’m in my office often enough” the older woman smiled at the two, she knew they both had affection for each other and well, this might have been the push they needed.

“Thank you Professor” Lily voiced for the both of them.

“Thanks Minnie” James smiled at the Professor.

————————————————————

July had come and gone, at the end of the month with two screaming babies at St.Mungo’s.

“Oh they’re beautiful” James’s mum was beside herself, not being able to help in delivering her son’s children. A boy and girl.

“So what are the names?” His father asked, James lovingly looked at Lily. She knew he wanted her to say them as he was handed his baby girl.

“Harry James Potter and Luna Petunia Potter” Lily smiled tiredly. She yawned straight after, her body betraying her will to stay awake.

“Go to sleep love, we’ll still be here when you get back” James kissed her forehead and her friends cooed over the two lovely children.

————————————————————

“Hey mum there’s the owl at our window” Harry yelled to his mum who was upstairs with his sister.

“Get the mail would you sweetheart, and give her a treat this time” Lily’s voice carried towards her son who was slowly walking towards the kitchen window.

“Alright, two letters and a treat for our girl” the owl rubbed her head affectionately on his hand and then proceeded to take his treat and fly away.

“Hey dad, it’s our Hogwarts letters!” Harry moved towards his father, who was reading the newspaper, Rita Skeeter still causing drama as usual.

“That’s great little man! Get you both into Gryffindor and continue our legacy…,I can see it now- and Minnie will love seeing you both as grown kids, the last time she saw you you were babies during our exam period” Harry looked at his father as he was crazy, surely he and his sister weren’t babies when they were still in school?

“MUM! Can you explain what dad just said?” Harry yelled up to his mother, both ladies of the house running down to the boys.

“Uh yeah I suppose we should, we just aren’t sure if you’re really ready to hear it” the two children looked a their mum, Lily Potter, who was a fearless woman and also so caring too.

“We’re ready mum, we should know” Luna spoke for both her and Harry.

“Let’s get settled then, it’s a wild ride” James had addressed the two, who now had sat down on their living room couch.

“Ok I suppose I should start that at some point I hated your father, for no reason besides his antics and school rivalry” she looked at her husband to continue.

“And I kept trying to ask out your mother, constantly really. But at one Gryffindor party that all changed.” James made what could be placed as jazz hands.

———————————————————

“Okay, who cares what house you’re in….just don’t do what me and your father did and have kids too early” Lily laughed as the two children and their parents, godparents and their own children prepared to rush into Platform 9 3/4.

“Try for Gryffindor though, we’re the best house” James smiled at his two children, ready to face the world of magic.

“Okay dad we’ll try” Luna rolled her eyes at her fathers absurd request.

“Let’s go before we miss the train!” Luna and Harry both rain towards the entrance to the train, and you could see them sit at the same spot in which their parents did back in the 70s.

“They’ll be okay yeah?” Lily looked at James with a soft expression.

“Of course they will” James hugged her tightly.

The train started to move and the two kids and a few more who joined them waved out the windows to bid their parents goodbye until the holidays.

————————————————————

“Harry Potter!” The two were well known with McGonagall, they both had been in her care as their own parents did their exams….but for some reason they both still felt nervous when heading towards the sorting hat.

“Gryffindor!” Harry jumped off the seat, a sea of red waiting to greet him into his new house, or a found family of all sorts.

“Luna Potter!” The hat had a harder time getting into the young girl’s head, knowing her brother begged to not be in Slytherin like his dad said. The hat toyed with her emotions, saying if she should be with him or be with the cunning and ambitious Slytherin’s.

“Slytherin!” She got a round of applause from the house of snakes, taking on last look at her brother- he was looking away and talking to new house members.

————————————————————

Luna, we take no offence for you being in Slytherin. My childhood best friend was a Slytherin, although I moved on from him quickly when his ugly beliefs showed, I know he is one of your professors and I hope he will guide you well.

I have had a word with your brother, I know he may not want to show his affection to you whilst in front of his friends due to house wars, just know he’ll be there for you in private.

Lots of love,

Mum

Ps. Dad said to say hello to Minnie and talk to her if you need anything at all cause she still remembers us.

Luna read the letter over and over again whilst munching on some toast, something in her gut told her that her relationship with her brother was about to become very difficult.

[kudosmyhero]

Spider-Man: The Final Adventure #4: To End the Begin

Read Date: September 30, 2023 Cover Date: March 1996 ● Writer: Fabian Nicieza ● Penciler: Darick Robertson ● Inker: Jeff Albrecht ◦ Greg Adams ◦ Chris Ivy ● Colorist: Gregory Wright ● Letterer: Bill Oakley ● Editor: Tom Brevoort ◦ Glenn Greenberg ◦ Bob Budiansky ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers (👏=didn't like it, 👏👏=it was ok, 👏👏👏=I liked it, 👏👏👏👏=I really liked it!, 👏👏👏👏👏=I loved it!)

● Jonah! ● 👏👏👏

Synopsis: Ken Ellis has come to the Parker home in Queens threatening to reveal that Peter Parker is Spider-Man, providing a mock-up of the front page of tomorrow's edition of the Daily Bugle. Mary Jane, Peter's wife, is angered that this he would come to their home and make threats like this, knowing that this is nothing more than a mock-up used to try and scare her. She tells Ken to stop harassing her and her family, however, the reporter intends to get to learn the connection between Peter Parker, Spider-Man, the Scarlet Spider and the allegedly new Spider-Man that has been sighted in Manhattan. Mary Jane insists that there is no connection to be found and slams the door in Ken's face. That's when Ben Reilly leaps down from the ceiling, where he was hiding to avoid being spotted by Ellis. As they try and figure out what to do about this latest development, Ben suddenly begins to grin as an idea begins to form in his mind.

Meanwhile, in Portland, Peter Parker is out as Spider-Man searching for the serial killer named Tendril. He is seeking the killer out in order to cure him of his condition, a synthetic skin derivative that was tainted by his own DNA. The clock is ticking because Peter has contracted necrotizing fasciitis and curing Tendril will also produce a cure for himself, although it will cost him his spider-powers in the process. With a tracking device, the wall-crawler is closing in on Tendril. As he goes, he tries to keep his mind off the fact that Mary Jane has left him because he decided to become Spider-Man again after he promised to retire. He tracks the killer down to a room at the Hotel Governor and interrupts Tendril before he can claim his next victims. Unfortunately, Spider-Man is forced to stay behind and free Tendril's victims when the killer flees. Just as he frees the victims, the authorities arrive on the scene, in order to avoid being delayed further, Spider-Man flees the scene. Back in Manhattan, Mary Jane pays a visit to Joe Robertson at the Bugle to complain about Ken Ellis harassing her and her husband for his story.

In Portland, Spider-Man picks up Tendril's signal again and follows him onto the roof of the Governor. There they are joined by Dryrot who has come to help capture Tendril so he can also benefit from the cure that could come from them. While Tendril and Dryrot are occupied with each other, Spider-Man prepares an Isotopic Genome Accelerator that he created at GAIRD to deal with Tendril. Sneaking up behind Tendril, Spider-Man manages to jolt the killer with the accelerator but the three of them are caught in the discharge of energy. Recovering from the blast, Spider-Man notices that both Tendril and Dryrot have been mostly reverted back to human form. Suddenly, his spider-sense goes off, prompting the wall-crawler to depart as the authorities arrive on the rooftop. The next morning, Ben Reilly pays a visit to J. Jonah Jameson as Spider-Man and torments the publisher by webbing him to his chair and insulting the day's edition of the Daily Bugle before departing. After this recent insult, Joe Robertson tells Jonah about Ken Ellis' story about the wall-crawler. Furious at Spider-Man, Jonah orders Joe to have the story killed. When Joe goes to tell Ken Ellis the news, Ken is unphased and threatens to take the story to the Daily Globe. Joe decides to call the city editor at the Globe, Barry Fink, and tell him about it. Ellis then talks to Fink, he learns that Barry will also pass on the story since Joe Robertson isn't interested in it. Learning that Joe is good friends with editors at New York's other publications. Realizing that he's not going to win, Ellis decides to give up on the Spider-Man story and refocus his attention on the Havershaw murder. Joe then goes to a nearby diner and tells Mary Jane the good news, and asks her what she is planning on doing next.

While in Portland, both Tendril and Dryrot have been brought back to GAIR for the final experiment that will hopefully cure them of their conditions. The process is supervised by Eric Schwinner and Peter Parker. When they activate the device, Tendril tries to resist the process and break free. With the machines overheating, Peter realizes that the only way to complete the process is including his own DNA in the process. To that end, Peter exits the control room and puts himself in physical contact with the device. His body surges with pain he hasn't felt since the radioactive spider first bit him. The addition of Parker's DNA completes the process and the process to restore Tendril and Dryrot back to human form. In the aftermath of the process, Peter examines himself and learns that he has been cured of his infection, but his spider-powers have also been stripped away. Forced into retirement, Peter Parker returns home and packs up his Spider-Man costume and wonders if it was all worth it in the end. That's when Mary Jane returns home, much to Peter's surprise as he thought she left for good. She then shows him the note she left for him, the note that Peter didn't bother reading in its entirety. As it turns out, the letter told Peter that she wasn't leaving him for good, but only going back to New York for a photo shoot and that she would be back in a few days.

With his spider-powers gone, Peter is able to focus on his career, his wife, and his upcoming daughter. He also finds new ways to help those in need, by volunteering at a homeless shelter and living up to his motto, with great power comes responsibility. The greatest adventure for Peter Parker now is the excitement of being able to find out who he is all over again.

(https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Spider-Man:_The_Final_Adventure_Vol_1_4)

Fan Art: Spider-man 0330 by EJ-Su

Accompanying Podcast: ● Untold Talks of Spider-Man - episode 11

[bluejayblueskies]

Please say more abt how Martin fits the closed off trait I'm begging 👁👁

Okay, so I got a bit carried away with this and it got quite lengthy....

I've put a TLDR above the cut and the details, transcripts, and general discussion below the cut!

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TLDR: Martin is at his core a closed-off character who keeps his vulnerable feelings hidden and close to his chest. He instead focuses on caring for others and considering their feelings above his own, particularly in the case of Jon, who he cares for (sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice) throughout the podcast. His arc with the Lonely in season four and his interactions with Jon in season five demonstrate this lack of emotional vulnerability, and it's really only during the moments he spends by himself that we get significant insight into Martin's emotional state and inner thoughts.

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Martin, to me, is a character who is very used to hiding how he feels. He tends to care for others at the expense of himself, has low self-esteem, and has a predilection towards the Lonely, all of which go hand-in-hand with somebody who is very used to hiding their emotions--particularly the negative ones--because they either think they're not important or that they're inconvenient and inappropriate for the situation. On a textual level, that's probably due to growing up with a sick (and likely unsupportive) mother who he had to take care of, where there was 'no time' for his emotions to get in the way or for him to prioritize himself in any way, shape, or form.

Martin is self-destructive, dislikes moments of emotional vulnerability, and (I would argue) genuinely struggles when he doesn't have somebody else to prioritize over himself. (His mother at first, but as the series goes on, Jon settles comfortably into this role for him.) Additionally, the biggest way that we, the audience, know anything about Martin's emotional state is when he's alone and self-reflecting (such as in MAG 170 and 186 or when talking to the tapes) or when he's forced to talk about something vulnerable (such as when Jon confronted him about his CV).

We don't get much insight into Martin's character between seasons one and three (at least not as much as we get in four and five), but I find myself drawn to this bit in MAG 118, when Martin is talking to Elias:

MARTIN

So what? I don’t get to be angry? I don’t get to burn things? Just, just run around, making tea, while everyone else gets to actually have feelings?

I think two things are important to note here. The first is that Elias is surprised (or least intrigued) that Martin is acting in this way--specifically, acting on his emotions in such a dramatic way. (And given that Martin is doing this as a distraction, rather than actually acting out because of his own emotions, maybe he's right to be surprised.) The second is that this line very much implies that Martin doesn't talk about how he's feeling, not like 'everyone else' does. He doesn't talk about it, doesn't act on it--just 'runs around, making tea.' And when Melanie comes back in after Elias is done, Martin immediately focuses on the plan and whether it succeeded, ignoring Melanie when she asks if he's okay or not. He closes himself off, and as far as we know, doesn't talk about it at all after that.

And then Jon goes into his coma, and we reach season four.

Martin is incredibly closed-off during season four. He's self-isolating, self-sacrificial, and approaching a state of genuine emotional numbness by the time he's cast into the Lonely. There's a lot to unpack there, but I'm going to focus on a few main things, many of which can be drawn from this bit in MAG 158:

MARTIN

It’s not him! It’s not anybody. It’s just me. Always has been. I…

When I first came to you, I thought I had lost everything. Jon was dead, my mother was dead, the job I had put everything into trapped me into spreading evil and I… I really didn’t care what happened to me. I told myself I was trying to protect the others, but… honestly we didn’t even like each other. Maybe I just thought joining up with you would be a good way to get killed.

And then… Jon came back, and… and suddenly I had a reason I had to keep your attention on me. Make you feel in control so you didn’t take it out on him. And if that meant drifting further away, so what? I’d already grieved for him. And if it meant now saving him, it was worth it.

When you started talking about the Extinction, though… you had me actually, then, for a while. But then – (laughs sardonically) then, you tried to make me the hero. Tried to sell me on the idea that I was the only one who could stop it. And that I’ve never sat right with me. I mean, I mean, look – look at me, I’m not exactly a – a chosen one. But by then I was in too deep. So I played along. Waited to see what your end game was, and here we are.

Funny. Looks like I was right the first time. It’s probably still a good way to get killed?

This monologue is a big insight into Martin's thought process during this season, and I'm mostly going to focus on two parts: the self-sacrifice and the prioritization of Jon.

Self-sacrifice

There's quite a bit of discussion about Jon's self-sacrificial tendencies, but less so about Martin's, both in this season and in season five. In my opinion, Jon's self-sacrificial tendencies originate from (among other things) survivor's guilt from his traumatic childhood experience with Mr. Spider, his increasing belief that he's less than human, and the fact that he prioritizes the lives of others over his own. Martin's self-sacrificial tendencies, while very similar, come from the fact that he thinks he only has worth if he can help and care for someone else and the fact that he doesn't think he's important enough to live. (For example, he says in MAG 158 that he's 'not exactly a chosen one' and says in MAG 198 that he's 'not important enough to kill.')

It's a subtle difference between these two things, and I would argue that while Jon's tendencies are more rooted in the 'help' (ie, 'I want to help other people and I will sacrifice myself to do it'), Martin's tendencies are more rooted in the 'hurt' (ie, 'I will sacrifice myself and other people will be helped in the process'). There is, of course, overlap, and it's not a black-and-white distinction between the two, but ultimately, I think Martin is so used to prioritizing others' emotions and needs above his own that when he's left mostly alone as he is at the end of season three, with the only person left to hold onto being in a coma (possibly forever), he falls back into the same patterns of self-destruction and closed-offness, only without the 'help' to go along with the 'hurt' because there is nobody left to help (especially after his mother dies). Ultimately, he joins up with Peter because he thinks it 'would be a good way to get killed.'

Prioritization of Jon

But then Jon wakes up from his coma, and now Martin has justification for his self-sacrifice again, because he can protect Jon by continuing to work with Peter!

... Maybe.

Jon isn't harmed by Peter during season four, sure, but he does climb into the coffin and visits Ny-Ålesund and is tracked down by Julia and Trevor and struggles emotionally and morally with his own humanity and is hurt, in a way, by the distance Martin puts between them. And I hesitate to place blame for the apocalypse on anybody but Jonah, but if we're going to argue in-canon that Jon was responsible for the apocalypse (he wasn't, but that's not the point of this post), then Martin contributed to that blame and responsibility because it was his actions and decisions that ultimately drew Jon into the Lonely and resulted in him getting the 14th and final mark. (Again, I don't think Jon or Martin are at fault for the apocalypse, but if we were to blame Jon, we could blame Martin as well.) It was only after getting that mark that Jonah was able to use Jon to end the world, something that was hugely hurtful for Jon. So did Martin really protect Jon at all by staying away from him and continuing to work with Peter? Or was that just a convenient excuse to keep self-destructing?

Jon and Martin, in my opinion, had very similar arcs in season four. Martin was sinking further into the Lonely and Jon was sinking further into the Eye. We hear a lot more about Jon's emotional struggle with this given that he's the POV character, sure, but Jon also talks about this with other people. He talks about it to Helen (MAG 152):

JON

…

When does it stop?

HELEN

(impatient) What?

JON

The guilt. The misery. All the others I’ve met, they’ve been – cold, cruel. They’ve enjoyed what they do. When does the Eye (inhale) make me monstrous?

And to Daisy (MAG 136):

JON

My – (large sigh) My memories of the coma are not clear, but I know I made a choice; I made a choice to become… something else. Because I was afraid to die. But ever since then, I – I don’t know if I made the right decision; I’m stronger now, tougher, I can – (he cuts himself off) If I do die, now, or get sealed away somewhere forever? I don’t know if that’s a bad thing. And I don’t want to lose anyone else, so if I can maybe – stop that happening, and the only danger is to me, I – I’ll do it in a heartbeat; worst case scenario, the universe loses another monster.

But all we really get from Martin are the things he tells the tapes when he's alone and the monologue he gives in MAG 158. It makes sense that he wouldn't be as open, yes, given the nature of the Lonely, but I can't help but think of (MAG 154):

JON

The Lonely’s really got you, hasn’t it?

MARTIN

(no hesitation) You know, I think it always did.

Jon was always curious and hungry for knowledge; the Eye amplified it. Martin was always closed-off and isolated; the Lonely amplified that as well.

But then Jon pulls Martin out of the Lonely, they flee to the safehouse, and three weeks later, the apocalypse begins. Martin isn't as consumed by the Lonely as he was in season four, he's with Jon--the person he loves--for extended periods of time, and they're in an extremely stressful situation that's sure to be incredibly emotionally charged. There's a lot to be said about Jon's emotional vulnerability during season five and how Martin both pressures him for it and rejects it in different ways, but for the purposes of this post, I won't go too far into detail about the motivations behind how Jon is feeling and acting.

I will say, however, that in season five, Martin still continues to place a lot of focus on asking Jon how he's feeling, encouraging (or pressuring) him to share, and getting frustrated when Jon can't or doesn't (MAG 167):

MARTIN

Okay, so how exactly would you describe your current emotional state regarding all of this?

JON

I –

MARTIN

(overlapping) Go on, I’m all ears.

JON

I feel…

MARTIN

(go on) Mhm.

JON

(sigh) I feel… sad.

[Brief pause.] MARTIN

(flat) Sad.

JON

Very sad.

MARTIN

(*very* flat) Very sad.

[He sighs slightly as he says it. Their bags jangle.]

A few moments prior to this, Martin expresses displeasure that Jon is Knowing things about him, specifically pointing out his emotions (MAG 167):

MARTIN

It’s just – it’s weird knowing that you can know literally everything I think and feel. E-Especially since you’re not exactly the most open of people – emotionally, I mean.

I think Martin is making an effort to open up more to Jon. But I still think it's difficult for him to talk about how he feels so openly, and while he is completely in the right for not wanting Jon to Know things about him without his permission, I think it's interesting that the focus is on his feelings and that he brings up how Jon isn't emotionally open immediately after. It scares Martin to think that Jon could know, at any given moment, how he's feeling, and I think it's partially because he's not used to that level of vulnerability. He turns the focus on Jon, away from himself, and doesn't really make an effort to talk about how he's feeling about all of this, instead prioritizing Jon's feelings and mental state like he's grown comfortable with.

And when Martin bottles up his emotions--of which there are a lot, in such a stressful environment, they can explode out in hurtful ways:

MARTIN

(overlapping) I know! I know, okay, I just – (bracing exhale) Look, I j,just – don’t want to get burned, all right? It’s, it’s like my least favorite pain ever.

JON

Is that – a joke?

MARTIN

(a bit faster, a bit shaky) No, no, okay? I, I legitimately hate burns, alright? They’re, they’re awful, and they scar horribly, and they just – it – it just makes me sick; I, I hate it. Hate it!

I don't think Martin really thought about what he was saying when he told Jon, who has a large burn scar on his hand, that burn scars make him sick, and I don't think he meant it maliciously. But he'd spent the greater portion of the conversation talking around the fact that he didn't like burns and that was why he didn't want to go into the building, and so when it finally ended up coming out, it did so in an explosion of emotion rather than a conscious decision to share. Martin doesn't have a good handle on his emotions, and he doesn't have a good handle on sharing them.

(Is it too much for me to say that Martin was more emotionally vulnerable with himself in MAG 170 than he was with Jon when Jon finally found him?)

Throughout season five, Martin asks Jon questions, he expresses frustrations with Jon, he shows discomfort or fear at times, but for as much as Martin feels frustrated that Jon isn't talking about how he feels about their situation, Martin really isn't doing so either. The most he talks about his feelings is in MAG 170 and MAG 186, when he's by himself, and I remember MAG 186 in particular because before that, we really didn't know what Martin was thinking about for the majority of the season! And in this episode, we find out a lot of very important things about Martin's character. Like (MAG 186):

ALSO MARTIN

Look, I know what you know. Maybe I’m just a bit more… open about it.

Also-Martin acknowledges that Martin often doesn't say what he means and hides what he really feels, telling him that it's 'hard to be vulnerable,' and Martin is initially very resistant to the idea. And then, when Also-Martin suggests that Martin wants to stay so that he can be 'quietly sad,' we get (MAG 186):

MARTIN

We could talk to Jon about it.

ALSO MARTIN

We could. But we both know that loved ones make the worst therapists. They’re too wrapped up in trying to stop you hurting to actually help. But hey, we know all about that, am I right?

MARTIN

There’s nothing wrong with comforting people.

ALSO MARTIN

A cup of tea isn’t a resolution. At best it’s a… a plaster. At worst… a muzzle.

This is very interesting to me, because for all that Martin tries to help other people, he also believes that comfort doesn't always help and that you can't be your loved one's 'therapist.' I think this gives a lot of insight into why Martin doesn't share his emotions with the people he cares about, especially Jon; he doesn't want to put Jon in the position where he'll become his 'therapist,' and he doesn't necessarily think Jon can help. So instead, Martin just chooses not to be vulnerable at all, because he doesn't want to burden the people he cares about. But, when it's just him (MAG 186):

ALSO MARTIN

Don’t lie. You don’t need to. Not here. It’s just us.

He doesn't feel like he needs to pull his emotional punches. He can't accidentally hurt somebody or put them in an awkward position; it's just himself. But what's said to himself remains with himself, and (at least on tape), he doesn't discuss any of this with Jon. Not even the bit about, if it came down to it, Martin would have rather had Jon smite him than continue to rule over a domain. He goes right back to being closed-off around Jon, but now we, the audience, know what lies underneath, and how little of it reaches the surface.

In fact, the thing Martin's probably most vocal about is how Jon's feelings about himself bother him (MAG 199):

MARTIN

I guess that’s why it really bothers me, you know? I try, but I can’t actually imagine ever making a decision that I knew meant losing you.

And it… It hurts to know you can.

And I think he has a tendency to use anger and frustration to cover up hurt, shying away from the admission that something Jon's done has hurt him (an incredibly vulnerable thing) and instead relying on the less-vulnerable and more external anger to cover it. This is more speculation than true analysis, but I think that's a lot of what's happening in MAG 200, when he discovers that Jon has already assumed the position of the pupil and has, in Martin's eyes, broken his promise.

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TLDR: Martin is at his core a closed-off character who keeps his vulnerable feelings hidden and close to his chest. He instead focuses on caring for others and considering their feelings above his own, particularly in the case of Jon, who he cares for (sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice) throughout the podcast. His arc with the Lonely in season four and his interactions with Jon in season five demonstrate this lack of emotional vulnerability, and it's really only during the moments he spends by himself that we get significant insight into Martin's emotional state and inner thoughts.

[tinyyoungblood]

how ab a headcanon where the avengers all take a trip either to disney world or on a disney cruise? i’m a whore for the idea of everyone, especially peter and y/n, just acting like kids again

pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader

a/n: i like this prompt so much!! i’ve never been to disneyland, but i hope this is accurate enough lol. i also turned this into a vlog bc someone had to record this mess and since it can’t be me, i’m giving filming privileges to bruce

              ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the avengers in disneyland

everyone is very very excited and the days before they leave pass in a flurry of excitement, but peter has never been to disneyland, so he’s THRILLED beyond means

peter’s jumping up and down while everyone’s loading the van and he keeps asking them if they’re ready for this “life-changing field trip?????”

sam is genuinely afraid that if peter jumps any higher he will bounce off earth, so he grabs peter by the middle and carries him horizontally into the car

steve gave a whole lecture on not getting lost the day before and since tony couldn’t resist it, he is dressed head to toe in neon yellow and grinning cockily

nat steps into the van, sees him, and turns around with her hand over her eyes like she’s been blinded

bruce brings his video camera with him and records everything. first thing they do is hit up a gift shop and it is better than any oscar nominated movie

everything they pick up is subjected to a thorough label reading and some kind of commentary

“steve, show them what you’re getting!!” “slippers” “what kind of slippers” “uh...soft”

thor on the other hand takes it very serious and his commentary ends up being very ~shakespearean~

peter and y/n get matching friendship bracelets for everyone

loki: “i’m not wearing that”

y/n: “that’s alright-“

loki: “no tie it on for me”

bucky wouldn’t have come along if it weren’t for steve and sam, but now he’s taking it upon himself to make sure that everyone stays in good condition so they don’t miss out on training

the whole team gets hourly text messages from him in the group chat

bucky: “There’s a water leak in Mickey’s Toontwon. If any of you slip and hurt yourselves I will kill you.”

y/n: “love you too buck”

(they know it’s his way to express his love for them so every message almost makes them tear up)

loki really wants to go on splash mountain but since he doesn’t want to get his clothes wet, he asks the guards how ~splashy~ splash mountain gets

they don’t take him seriously and it infuriates loki because it’s a perfectly reasonable question but it quickly turns into a passionate argument that holds up the entire line

“I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HIGH THE RISK OF GETTING WET IS, YOU INCOMPETENT FOO—”

*cue y/n and nat dragging him away while bruce runs after them to zoom in on loki’s pouty glare*

they get him a green rain poncho with black polka dots from one of the gift shops, and he’s still glowering but he puts it on without protest before each ride that involves water

normally the avengers would easily get recognised but since everyone is walking around in costumes, people approach them for several other reasons

thor is just peacefully standing in life, staring at the incredicoaster like it’s the love of his life, when a little kid tugs at his cape

“excuse me sir, why are you so tall?” “good question, why are you so short?” “hmm” “hmm”

they find a micky mouse whac-a-mole and everyone is having Fun but something possesses tony and clint and they are really going for it

tony is a 5 foot tall ball of stress and competitiveness and he is yielding that plastic hammer like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

clint on the other hand is starting to feel the numbness in his arms

y/n, with sarcasm: “you can do it, clint!”

clint, with spite: “i cannot do it, thanks”

*y/n stares into the camera*

they also make up a rule that if you are in a 5 meters radius of one of the theme park characters, you HAVE to snap a picture with them

steve, who gets constantly shoved nudged by bucky into some character’s path, ends up taking a picture with almost every single disneyland character

at some point, he’s just downright sick of it and there’s a 7 min video of steve zooming across the lot while goofy and woody run after him with wide open arms

bucky is doubled over with laughter in the background while sam is standing beside him and wiping away his own tears

the avengers also buy all the pictures that are taken of them on the rides and even stop at some photo booths so they can send them to wanda and vision who are both vacationing on hawai’i <3

thor, peter, and y/n run themselves ragged and their legs almost give out but they will not stop until they have been on every ride that disneyland has to offer

the others think it’s obnoxious but they follow and join them without hesitation

tony is secretly trembling with fear. doing loops in the air at the speed of light is fine and so is battling aliens, but getting on a rollercoaster ride is just heart-stopping horrifying

it’s not that he doesn’t like rollercoasters, (that man has no self-preservation skills, anything that resembles plummeting to death will be gazed at with big heart eyes) but he just doesn’t trust them

if he didn’t build it or prove it, he doesn’t trust it. period. but the avengers are just so excited and happy that he can’t find it in him to sit out

that quickly results in thor and tony re-enacting very impressive Shouting Contests on each ride without fail

tony is screaming and clinging onto whoever is sitting next to him for dear life because he’s Petrified™️

and thor is screaming, because he’s having The Time Of His Life

he’s feeling the wind in his hair, his heart in his throat, and if he’s not shredding his vocal chords and flinging his limbs around, what’s the point of it all

after 20 different rides, tony is sick of pretending and just trudges through disneyland, the happiest place of earth, like it’s the sole cause of all suffering in the world

nat rejoins the group after she mysteriously disappeared for a moment and her hair is tossed, there’s ash on her face, and half of her clothes are wet

bruce, startled: “where have you been??”

nat, beaming: “there was a ride that spat fire from all sides and people jumped out of nowhere to scare you while the whole place was filled with hot water!!!”

bruce, concerned, zooms in on nat’s excited face

“nat i think you went to hell”

sam is big on merry-go-rounds so he drags everyone with him and while some one them first don’t seem to enjoy it, they change their mind once they see bucky’s little smile

(they go on at least ten more rounds until it starts to get dizzy)

a little girl trips over her princess gown and falls close to where steve is waiting in line, and steve immediately abandons his spot to rush over

bruce zooms in on them bc steve has always been kinda awkward with kids, but here he is, crouching down and comforting that little girl, and it’s so unashamedly soft and sweet

they can’t hear what steve is saying but she’s BEAMING now and even giving him a wobbly courtesy while he claps proudly

bruce turns the camera around and both he and clint are lowkey in TEARS like “why are we crying?? we didn’t even fall down” “i KNOW!!”

nat gets a hold of the camera and she’s on a mission to get the most embarrassing greatest footage possible

“bucky, go stand next to moana” “why?” “it’s moana go stand over there” “but i don’t know-“ “bucky.” *cue bucky, awkwardly standing next to moana while nat grins broadly*

when he’s back with the team, sam just stares at him blank-faced, clearly waiting for bucky to ask why he’s looking at him

eventually bucky caves in with a long sigh

“what” “i can’t believe you don’t know who moana of montunui is. she restored BALANCE to the WORLD. put some RESPECT ON HER NAME”

no one knows why but there’s footage of y/n, thor, tony, and loki strutting up and down in the middle of the lane in minnie mouse plush shoes like it’s a catwalk

sam, bucky, and nat are holding up their fingers to score them while steve is staring at them like he’s analysing their fighting stances

bruce, clint, and peter are standing on the sidelines and cheering them on as they should be

they end their day by digging into an unholy amount of fries that even steve can’t resist because they’ve been walking the whole day

a questionable amount of cotton candy also end ups in their possession and the footage of that is just mostly everyone trying out each other’s cones while the camera is passed between them

soon after, the avengers are back in their van to drive home and bruce zooms in on the row of seats where y/n has her head on peter’s shoulder while the others are also half-lounging on each other, and everyone is asleep <3

* * *

guess what i’m about to say?

stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

[klqrambles]

So I finally watched Dorian Gray (2009) and I have never watched a movie that made me feel so many feelings at once.

I feel I should mention from the get go that I had heard many things about it before I started watching, mostly about how it was not a very good adaptation of the book. And I agree, as an adaptation of the book I felt so many things none of which were particularly good. As just a general movie, I’d say it was ~7/10 for me personally. Love me some guys in suits so there was that LMAO, but otherwise parts of the plot felt… underutilized? Basil’s idolatry, Sibyl’s whole deal, and the whole I want to repent plot line they made felt like it was there for a second then just gone. Which is saying something considering Basil’s idolatry is like a Main Part of the Book.

Onto characterizations because I have a bit to say about this. Overall, I think the Dorian isn’t as bad as people made him out to be, personally. Like I know a big point of contention is the way he looks, but I think he works fine as a Dorian? I think he acted the part fine, in the beginning being an innocent little guy who doesn’t know better to hedonistic littol shit with a violent streak. I’ll come back to the stuff with Emily laterr. One thing I can’t forgive though, is that they let Dorian drive. You cannot convince me that boy knows how to make a decent left turn without hitting a pole.

For Basil, loved the actor but didn’t love the characterization. Basil being so open about his art, especially of Dorian, felt wrong? Especially the scene with everyone looking at the portrait and him being proud of it and all that felt so weird to me it completely took me out of the movie for a hot minute. Overall, Basil kinda felt really ancillary to the plot, just there to paint portrait and be killed. My favorite thing about this Basil, though, was his relationship with Henry. Somehow I really got the vibes of two friends so sick of each other it’s a wonder how they’re still friends but they are because they also find each other sickeningly fun to be around. Ben Chaplin as Basil felt pretty good though. He got the nervous painter energy down pat.

Now Henry. Henry. Henry fucking pissed me off. Not in a bad way though? I absolutely hated him but I kept wanting to see what other fucked up shit he’s going to try to do? In the beginning I hated and loved him with equal passion, but by the end both petered out into just kind of, ambivalence. He got old. I got kinda old of him not really changing as a character. Until the end though. At the end I really enjoyed the whole confrontation and the path leading up to it where Henry used his wits to outdo Dorian. Just overall really wildly mixed feelings about that guy.

Sibyl I felt meh about. She was done well I think, but changing the whole motive for her death felt not great for Sibyl, but I could see what they were trying to go for in Dorian’s story so eh. I also hc her as really bubbly and open so to see her more demure and shy threw me for a loop.

Now. Emily. I personally don’t particularly like the introduction of Emily. Or no, I was fine with the introduction of Emily as a person to potentially put Dorian on the “right path”, it was her falling in love with him I didn’t like. I think them staying friends would have been perfectly fine, or even Dorian feeling unrequited feelings for her would have been interesting, but them falling in love and Dorian “trying to be better” and still absolutely failing is what irked me ig. I think I just really wanted him to find someone to like without having to bed them to show him genuinely trying to “be good” or “have a conscience” or whatever. (And I don’t think the idea is “having sex is bad” but “having sex without thinking of how it could affect the people around you in a negative way is bad” and that’s what Dorian does with Emily. He takes her as his wife regardless of how Henry feels because he’s exactly the same fun guy.) Henry could still feel plenty threatened by Dorian’s existence around his daughter that leads to the final scenes without the shtick being marriage. Idk it just feeeeels not great

Just wanted to talk about how I felt about the movie overall again, cause it was wild. For the first 30 minutes of the movie, for some reason I had this unyielding sense of “something’s wrong” that I could not pinpoint (and don’t think I can until I do like a second watch or something) but I THINK it had to do with how off I felt about Basil’s and Henry’s characters. It really felt like the writer had taken the plot of tPoDG and shifted it two steps to the right. The big moments were happening, but something about them are unexplainably w r o n g. Basil getting a funeral was not expected and deserved for Basil, but him never getting one and continuing to be missing was something I really felt was integral to his character? But I am a fan of “Dorian disposes of the body himself” and “Henry gets to see the corrupted Dorian and it Fucks Him Up” plot points so that was fun.

Do I think this will in any way affect the way I characterize the Dorian Gray cast? Not likely. Do I think it’s a decent movie? Yea. Production was good, costuming was good, acting was good. As a movie it was okay. Do I think people should watch it? Yes, if only to understand half of what people are referencing when they talk of tPoDG. Do I want to see more Dorians with dark hair and dark eyes? I don’t see why not! I personally think the dark hair and dark eyes means you can’t look innocent shit some people say is a scam. However, if it’s not someone’s cup of tea that’s their choice. And wishing for a more canon-compliant Dorian is also fine. Just… that phrase specifically makes me smad. But now I’m rambling

Tldr; Dorian Gray (2009) is not a good adaptation of the book at all (imo) due to missing some key plot points, but a decent movie. Will probably watch it again to see if my opinions about it change.

[myonepiece]

Natural Yanderes in One Piece

description: characters who are yandere without an au!

warnings: yandere, mentions of mental/emotional & physical abuse, mentions of sexual assault

a/n: I wanted to write down my thoughts on the natural yanderes in One Piece. this is probably a pt. 1 because I have a lot of thoughts about other characters too :3

I did some research to find out the “actual” names for the different types of yandere, but most of the characters are similar to multiple types so I just put down the definition/example of the type(s)

disclaimer: I didn’t sugar coat anything so just stay with me- and you might not agree but I’m just trying to explain my thoughts

- when I say darling I am referring to crush or S/O 

Doflamingo

yandere rating: 10/10

obsession, violent, removal (”you don’t need anyone else”), training (trains S/O to love him)

Doflamingo is the whole yandere package- mental & physical abuse and manipulation, stalking, obsession and infatuation, kidnapping, locking away, gaslighting, torture, possessiveness, aggression and violence, toxicity.

Doflamingo’s obsession with his darling rivals Hannibal Lecter’s obsession with eating his victims. I often like to compare Doflamingo to Hannibal Lecter, with his manners, intelligence, and sophisticated taste, and niether hold remorse for their victims- now back to the topic.

Doflamingo can be as stealthy and unnoticed as he wants to be. when he sees someone who specially catches his attention (a future S/O per say), he likes to observe them first and understand them and their thinking, especially if this person is a future lover because he’s already planning what fun he can have playing with their mind, what gets under their skin and gets a reaction.

Doflamingo knows that his actions aren’t “normal” or healthy, or safe, but he doesn’t care. he developes a fetish-like infatuation with his S/O and simply has to have them, no way of getting them is off the table. abuse is an occurrence that happens naturally, rather it be because Doflamingo is angry, at his S/O or at one of his subordinates, it doesn’t matter- because his darling disobeyed him, because he is trying to prove a point, because he wishes to see his partner in pain, or simply because he is bored and torturing his lover is much more enjoyable than torturing his enemies/subordinates.

Doflamingo enjoys a chase and he fancies playing mind games with his S/O, seeing them so distraught and unnerved and fearful is one of his greatest joys, possibly even pleasurable. he likes to make them think they have a chance at escaping, luring them into attempting (and failing) so that he can coo at them and punish them, making them think he’s mad when he’s not, making them think he’s happy when he’s not- their confused expression is remarkably adorable and endearing.

unlike some yanderes, Doflamingo doesn’t try to make his S/O think the world outside is crueler than him, that they’re safer in his arms- while he does tell them they are protected by him, he tells them that he is more dangerous than the outside world, so that they’ll be too scared to leave his side, because he is too powerful to escape.

it slightly hurts me to say this and it might be hard for some to think about, but Doflamingo is not against forcing himself on his S/O- they are merely a tool and a toy for him to use and play with and ruin until it breaks- this symbolizing their will to escape or resist, diminishing and ultimately breaking as a toy would

Sanji

yandere rating: 3/10

harmless (as long as they are happy I’m happy”), stalker, obsession (harmless obsession), wrong idea (”they gave me their eraser... they must love me!”), mild possession

we all know that Sanji has an “obsession” with beautiful women, and when he finds one he especially likes, then it becomes a little more. now Sanji would never ever hurt his S/O, never, I want that to be clear- that’s why he is a harmless type. 

Sanji often watches from afar, and it’s not unusal for him to follow his crush/darling around. he’ll usually ask if he can tag along but if they say no he’ll just linger behind and out of sight, mostly to make sure they’re safe but also so he can observe them. he can be... delusional, take things as what they aren’t (wrong idea type)- if his darling compliments him, even just “good to see you Sanji-kun” he’ll interpret it as they missed him dearly and are so happy to see him again. his head is stuck in the clouds and he’s completely lovesick with a fever of 200°.

for a comparison, his actions before getting together would very similar to those of Anthony Hope’s towards Johanna- Sweeney Todd. Anthony is seen standing by the front of the house watching Johanna while she sits in her window, the song he sings about her “Johanna” (I suggest listening to it) contains lyrics such as “I’ll steal you Johanna... even now I’m at your window... buried sweetly in your yellow hair...” Anthony wants to take Johanna because he is obsessed with her but she is also in danger because she did not choose to live there, she is being “looked after”. 

Sanji’s actions always corroborate to what’s best for his S/O, he only wishes to take care of them and spoil them. he is definitely not the most possessive, but he doesn’t like his darling showing much attention to anyone else, in moments they do, Sanji always becomes clingy and pulls them away.

he’s bordering loneliness induction (”it’s okay I’m here, you don’t need anyone else”) and removal type (you don’t need anyone else when you have me”)

I can not stress this enough, Sanji is a HARMLESS yandere, it’s only the possession and infatuation that gives him the title 

Buggy

yandere rating: 6/10

worship (”I’ll do anything for you, I’ll kill for you!”), dependence (”please don’t leave me!”), monopoly (”who were you talking to”), obsession (”where were you? what were you doing?”), wrong idea (”they gave me their eraser... they must love me!”)

Buggy is a very emotional person, shown multiple times like when he cried when reuniting with his crew and when they told him they waited for him, when he is faced with danger, when he got angry at Shanks because of something that happened many years ago, etc. he craves an actual emotional bond because he’s quite a dependent person. if someone shows him the slightest comfort and attention or sign that they’ll be there for him, he’s in love- but only with that person, the second he falls in love with them they’re the only one for him.

for comparison, Buggy’s relationship dynamic is similar to Peter Pan and Tinker Bell’s (though they aren’t really in a relationship, but you understand hopefully), that is Buggy as Tinker Bell and his S/O as Peter Pan. Tinker Bell is quite obsessed with Pan herself, often trying to get him away from Wendy and going to extreme lengths to do so, she get’s angry and jealous easily, and she is more than ready to fight to defend Peter. Tinker would follow Peter to the end of the world and Buggy would do the same with his S/O.

Buggy craves affection and stability and trust, a ride-or-die, a one and only, a true soulmate. when he finds someone like that, he becomes possessive and obsessed with them, constantly asking to accompany them somewhere or making on of his crew do it- he has trust issues and one of his greatest fears is his S/O cheating on him, loyalty is very important to him. he needs constant reassurance even though he won’t say it out loud. he wants his S/O to depend on him as much as he depends on them so they’ll only need each other (bordering removal type).

Buggy won’t hurt his S/O unless it’s in a moment of overwhelming emotions, anger most often- in those moments he can do anything. he would close his hand around hs S/O’s throat and tell them not to leave, to stay with him, but he’s crying the whole time because the mere thought of his S/O leaving is terrifying, Buggy is afraid of being alone. he’ll slap or shove harshly, insults and praises alike, pleading and threatening. he tends to forget his strength and  sometimes his grip on his S/O’s throat ends up making them pass out then he freaks out and regrets everything, he feels extremely guilty after hurting them and he tries to show he’s sorry with his actions- it’s kind of ironic because even when he causes them though most pain and that’s one thing he never wants you to go through (pain) he always asks you to stay.

because of his fear of being alone he is willing to do anything for you, if you ask him to kill someone or at least step up and battle with another crew, he will. if not being a coward, or at least pretending not to be, for one moment is what it takes for you to stay then consider his cowardness gone, *poof*. ask for anything and this man will give it to you, similar to buying your love and sometimes he realizes that practically what it is- but he doesn’t care, as long as you stay. god forbid anyone try to take you away though, he won’t hold back on someone who. tries to take away his darling, tries to tell them Buggy is dangerous and the relationship isn’t healthy- frankly Buggy doesn’t really notice if it’s healthy or not because he’s not experienced at all, he doesn’t realize his actions aren’t normal, he thinks he’s just in love with you and can’t be without you, he doesn’t even consider it’s an unhealthy infatuation with someone because they showed interest in him once.

[ynandfics]

Gryffindor had just won a game against Slytherin, which meant only one thing by any standard- a party which would invite everyone from Hogwarts but the losing house.

“Are you gonna ask out Evans again this time Prongs?” Sirius asked the slightly tipsy boy next to him.

“I’ll do one better” the young boy set off towards the group of girls that included Lily Evans as well as her other dorm mates.

“Hello Potter” Marlene McKinnon addressed the captain of the Quidditch team.

“Hi McKinnon, I was wondering if I could steal Evans for a minute” the girls looked at one another and then at Lily, which she nodded at them.

“Okay but don’t do anything to our girl” Mary said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Uh huh” I dragged Lily into a corner where the boys dorms meet the common room kissing her slightly, and once I felt her respond, I became more dominant with her and pulled her up to the dorms.

————————————————————

“So uh Potter, Lily called me over the summer and you’re in so much trouble.” Mary said the second she spotted the four marauders waiting at the train.

“What did I do?” James was a little confused as he didn’t remember doing anything with Lily before the end of school year.

“She’ll tell you in private, I heard you’re both head boy and girl now” James wordlessly nodded, walking away to find Lily.

“So what did he do?” Remus turned to Mary.

“This was mostly to get him away because they screwed at the last party between all the houses cause of Quidditch-“ Remus started to connect the dots before Mary finished.

“She’s pregnant? During our 7th year? What the fuck?” Remus whispered, both Sirius and Peter smacking each other so they didn’t have an outburst- or well Sirius anyways.

“Yes, now James doesn’t know so he’s going to find Lily and she’ll tell him…the girls already know…and he looks like he’s gonna faint boys- let’s go” Mary and the boys quickly walked over to where Lily and James were….she had the small stick with her that had that damned plus line still.

“I would say congratulations, but how the fuck are you gonna have a kid whilst still in your seventh year?” Sirius whispered yelled once they got into their usual cabin.

“I don’t know, I just know I won’t leave them with my family cause they already think I’m a freak! James’ mum is a nurse- maybe she could help….I don’t know” James’ cringed at the mention of his mother.

“Mum would kill me, knowing I’d have a kid now- she’s already practically adopted Sirius but another blood relative she’d practically die becoming a grandmother so young” James’ looked at his friends, then Lily and then down at the table.

“Well I guess I just charm my stomach to not look pregnant and then we talk to McGonagall because she’ll need to know theirs gonna be a child in the dorms now” everyone in the cabin nodded.

———————————————————

“As head boy and head girl, I expected better out of the two of you” McGonagall started “but as the circumstances have changed, I suppose your free periods will now be ultimately fulfilling a child’s needs that the elf’s can’t help you with” Lily nodded at McGonagall and then looked at the floor.

“Do your parents know Miss Evans?” The elder woman looked towards the 17 year old girl in front of her.

“No Professor, they bid me a freak and do not talk to me during my time at home” She glanced up at her Head of House.

“Mr Potter, what about yourself? Do they know?” She never referred to him as ‘Mr Potter’, not since their first year. This was serious, more serious than any prank they could pull.

“No Professor, I only found out before the train. I will owl mum and dad to see what is best for us” He stood straighter, looking McGonagall straight in the eyes.

“Best hope so, I know your mother is a nurse at St. Mungo’s and Poppy can do her best to help you both on the way. Try and hide this pregnancy as much as possible and we’ll all try and help as much as possible until the baby is born…in July I believe?” Both teenagers nodded.

“Well your exams will be then and I am willing to help if needed, you know that I’m in my office often enough” the older woman smiled at the two, she knew they both had affection for each other and well, this might have been the push they needed.

“Thank you Professor” Lily voiced for the both of them.

“Thanks Minnie” James smiled at the Professor.

————————————————————

July had come and gone, at the end of the month with two screaming babies at St.Mungo’s.

“Oh they’re beautiful” James’s mum was beside herself, not being able to help in delivering her son’s children. A boy and girl.

“So what are the names?” His father asked, James lovingly looked at Lily. She knew he wanted her to say them as he was handed his baby girl.

“Harry James Potter and Luna Petunia Potter” Lily smiled tiredly. She yawned straight after, her body betraying her will to stay awake.

“Go to sleep love, we’ll still be here when you get back” James kissed her forehead and her friends cooed over the two lovely children.

————————————————————

“Hey mum there’s the owl at our window” Harry yelled to his mum who was upstairs with his sister.

“Get the mail would you sweetheart, and give her a treat this time” Lily’s voice carried towards her son who was slowly walking towards the kitchen window.

“Alright, two letters and a treat for our girl” the owl rubbed her head affectionately on his hand and then proceeded to take his treat and fly away.

“Hey dad, it’s our Hogwarts letters!” Harry moved towards his father, who was reading the newspaper, Rita Skeeter still causing drama as usual.

“That’s great little man! Get you both into Gryffindor and continue our legacy…,I can see it now- and Minnie will love seeing you both as grown kids, the last time she saw you you were babies during our exam period” Harry looked at his father as he was crazy, surely he and his sister weren’t babies when they were still in school?

“MUM! Can you explain what dad just said?” Harry yelled up to his mother, both ladies of the house running down to the boys.

“Uh yeah I suppose we should, we just aren’t sure if you’re really ready to hear it” the two children looked a their mum, Lily Potter, who was a fearless woman and also so caring too.

“We’re ready mum, we should know” Luna spoke for both her and Harry.

“Let’s get settled then, it’s a wild ride” James had addressed the two, who now had sat down on their living room couch.

“Ok I suppose I should start that at some point I hated your father, for no reason besides his antics and school rivalry” she looked at her husband to continue.

“And I kept trying to ask out your mother, constantly really. But at one Gryffindor party that all changed.” James made what could be placed as jazz hands.

———————————————————

“Okay, who cares what house you’re in….just don’t do what me and your father did and have kids too early” Lily laughed as the two children and their parents, godparents and their own children prepared to rush into Platform 9 3/4.

“Try for Gryffindor though, we’re the best house” James smiled at his two children, ready to face the world of magic.

“Okay dad we’ll try” Luna rolled her eyes at her fathers absurd request.

“Let’s go before we miss the train!” Luna and Harry both rain towards the entrance to the train, and you could see them sit at the same spot in which their parents did back in the 70s.

“They’ll be okay yeah?” Lily looked at James with a soft expression.

“Of course they will” James hugged her tightly.

The train started to move and the two kids and a few more who joined them waved out the windows to bid their parents goodbye until the holidays.

————————————————————

“Harry Potter!” The two were well known with McGonagall, they both had been in her care as their own parents did their exams….but for some reason they both still felt nervous when heading towards the sorting hat.

“Gryffindor!” Harry jumped off the seat, a sea of red waiting to greet him into his new house, or a found family of all sorts.

“Luna Potter!” The hat had a harder time getting into the young girl’s head, knowing her brother begged to not be in Slytherin like his dad said. The hat toyed with her emotions, saying if she should be with him or be with the cunning and ambitious Slytherin’s.

“Slytherin!” She got a round of applause from the house of snakes, taking on last look at her brother- he was looking away and talking to new house members.

————————————————————

Luna, we take no offence for you being in Slytherin. My childhood best friend was a Slytherin, although I moved on from him quickly when his ugly beliefs showed, I know he is one of your professors and I hope he will guide you well.

I have had a word with your brother, I know he may not want to show his affection to you whilst in front of his friends due to house wars, just know he’ll be there for you in private.

Lots of love,

Mum

Ps. Dad said to say hello to Minnie and talk to her if you need anything at all cause she still remembers us.

Luna read the letter over and over again whilst munching on some toast, something in her gut told her that her relationship with her brother was about to become very difficult.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

So I was showing my sister your amazing Q-A posts, when I came across Peter's. I realized that you just keep mentioning the incompetence of the Order, and how they're just a bunch of babysitters who don't do anything throughout many posts, but never actually wrote a rant about them and their members. Can you do that, while stating all the things they did/didn't do and their uselessness to the Order? What can I say I love your rants!

Caveat that it has been a while since I’ve read books 5, 6, and 7 of Harry Potter. I have a fantastic memory but some things may slip my mind. If I grievously offend anyone and it turns out the Order does actually do something, anything, of any vague importance then feel free to let me know and shame me on the internet.

With that, the story of why I think the Order of the Phoenix is a ridiculous organization that was mostly there because Dumbledore felt the need to have a guerilla resistance group (you’ve got to have a guerilla resistance group! Or, if Tom has a secret cult, I must have one too! BUT WITH BIRDS! COO COO KACHOO TOM RIDDLE!)

First, let’s look at our lineup.

Yes, we have a few aurors in the midst, but even with them the lineup is... worrying. In the first war we knew that key figures had presumably just graduated Hogwarts and joined the Order (James and Sirius). For all we know, they were recruited even before graduation. This makes sense as James’ is a big financial win for Dumbledore and was probably, perhaps with Longbottom, in charge of funding most of their operations. That and he and Longbottom give Dumbledore a voice in the Wizengamot (which so far as I can surmise is the only real governing body in the country, the ministry exists, but it all boils down to the Wizengamot). 

The point being, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily are all barely squeaking out of Hogwarts not only when they join the Order but also even by the time they die. More, it could be because the books are from Harry’s point of view and he has a serious thing about worshipping James, but James in particular is made to sound very vital to the Order’s operations. A twenty-one-year-old who charged Voldemort without a wand (I really shouldn’t give James shit for this, it was a desperate situation, an attack they had not anticipated, he’s young, and panicking. I will still give James shit for this.)

Otherwise we have Mundungus Fletcher, who gives strong vibes of being an alcoholic and is just a generally unreliable, shady, dude who will steal your silverware and pawn it on the black market when you aren’t looking.

We have Molly and Arthur Weasley, whose only use I can possibly think of is being moral support and... I don’t know... providing safe houses maybe? Seriously, we have no indication they’re good at dueling (less so as Harry’s shocked when Molly takes on Bellatrix and miraculously wins). We know Arthur’s not a very intelligent guy. Arthur and Molly have no sense of... Well, suffice to say, if Dumbledore gave them any real information they’d run away screaming. They throw Percy out of the family for becoming Fudge’s secretary, I’m sure Dumbledore was just internally screaming and begging them not to do it so he can make Percy a spy. But he can never say as much as such a notion would horrify Molly and Arthur. Molly and Arthur are also presented as vital members of the Order by the way. Molly and Arthur. ARTHUR.

We have what remains of the Marauders in the second go around: Remus and Sirius. Remus, while a competent wizard, nobody can quite trust for the reason they couldn’t quite trust him last time: he’s still a werewolf and has no reason to support the current government. Sirius is recovering from ten years in hell and is in no condition to do anything, knows it, loathes it, and is clawing at the walls of the safehouse he was pretty much forced to provide the Order.

We then have the aurors. Kingsly seems competent enough but more than him we have Moody and we have Tonks. Tonks is young and seems very very green, she was a good enough duelist to get into the auror corps but we know she’s dreadfully clumsy and often seems to treat Order business as this very exciting super secret mission she’s on. Moody, is a paranoid wreck who is almost comical for his utterly ridiculous skepticism of everything and seems incapable of making any true plans or taking any real action.

Looking at the Order of the Phoenix is kind of like watching “Dodgeball”, you just have this really weird collection of people who try to dodge wrenches, only the Death Eaters aren’t much better, so it kind of evens out. 

But onto why I think they do nothing... It’s because we see them do nothing.

We don’t get much information on the first war but at best it seems like there were a few minor skirmishes in the street now and then. I always imagine something like the Sharks and the Jets in Westside Story. They’re walking along the streets, spot each other, dramatic music ensues and a rumble begins, then they scamper away when the aurors come in.

Remember that these guys aren’t a legitimate organization and really don’t have the structure of one. Back in the day they were probably, essentially, a street gang.

We get a little more evidence of what we see them get up to in the later books. And it’s all just kind of sad.

Remus is sent on the world’s most ridiculous and hopeless quest to recruit werewolves. Why do I say ridiculous and hopeless, what the hell does Remus have to offer these guys? Werewolves are ridiculously oppressed by the current government, they cannot obtain an education, they cannot hold jobs, they’re desperately unemployed and people routinely talk about wiping them out. Remus comes up to them and says, “Hey guys, come support the guerilla movement that supports the government that talks about killing you all the time! It’ll be great!” They’ll either put Remus’ head on a pike or if they’re nice just laugh at him until he leaves. I’d say it’d be worth it, except that it’s an exceedingly dangerous task that probably would end with Remus’ head on a pike. As it is, it ends in embarrassing failure. And this is one of the more legitimate Order missions.

Hagrid, similarly, is sent to talk to the giants and it ends in equally embarrassing failure for the same reasons (why would the giants ever support the ministry and or Dumbledore who promises them nothing). Also, sending Hagrid to talk diplomacy, with anyone, ever. Surely, there’s no way that could possibly go wrong.

Otherwise their big task seems to be to babysit Harry and transfer him from the Dursleys to the Burrow/Grimmuald Place. The first, they fail at, Mundungus gets put on the job the one day something actually happens and it’s a complete disaster. The second, they also fail at, as I never understood why they couldn’t just portkey him where they needed him to go or at least closer by. The polyjuice flight across the sky was... really unecessary. 

You can tell by the seriousness with which most Order members, i.e. Tonks, take the babysitting Harry duty that this is a very serious task for very serious people. Given this, Tom’s lack of overt action in the fifth and sixth books, the fact that we don’t seem to see them do anything even in the seventh book... Yeah, this and keeping an eye out for that prophecy are their most exciting jobs.

Remember that rescuing Harry from the Department of Mysteries wasn’t really Dumbledore’s idea. That was an emergency situation where he had to pull out the stops, more, I suspect Sirius went “CHAAAAAARGE” and gleefully rushed out into glorious battle with the Order directly behind him and Dumbledore going, “Well, shit.”

I guess the last thing I’ll say is that we also see that Dumbledore has very little confidence in the Order. He gives them nothing important to do and, more, gives them virtually no intelligence.

He never tells the Order about the horcruxes (their existence or Harry, Hermione, and Ron’s super serial mission to track them down and destroy them). He never relays to them that Harry himself is a horcrux. He never reveals the suicide ploy with Snape or that he was in fact dying before that point. He never reveals Malfoy’s assassination attempts. Dumbledore doesn’t tell them jack shit.

If he relies on anyone, usually when he’s forced to, it’s Severus Snape. This I think is not only because Snape is forced in a way to be loyal thanks to the life debt to Harry as well as his own overwhelming sense of guilt but also because he’s the only really intelligent and competent one there.

The Order’s just... if you need someone to pick up Harry or else keep an eye on him when Mrs. Figg is busy: they’re your guys. Otherwise, they make Dumbledore feel good about himself?

[shyficwriter]

Temporary Home: Chapter 7

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Peter is determined to chip your shell away, but unfortunately, his attempts only seem to annoy you. He might need to step up his game, and by that he means recruiting Mantis, which backfires on him. This could be the start of a war, if Yondu knows what he's talking about.

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: I got a suggestion from @maribatshipper to add a scene where some actual raccoons get in the trash and Rocket finally sees a raccoon. I love the idea but I unfortunately didn't get a chance to add it to this chapter as it was finished before I saw the suggestion (I'll probably add it later, don't worry! lol) Anyways, it gave me an idea. What's some stuff you guys would like to see happen in this story? I do already know the direction of the story, but this could also be fun!

Word Count: 3,729

You were going to kill Peter. Probably Kraglin too.

It started maybe a couple hours after "the smelly incident," as you had mentally dubbed it, had resolved.

Peter got bored, found some old DVDs in the cabinet below the TV, and when he recognized a movie from when he was a kid, SpaceBalls, he managed to convince you to watch it with them.

He might have also quietly pulled the "unless you're too shy..." card for the thousandth time, and you might have told him it was getting old and he was working his way towards a black eye, but you did agree to watch the film with them. Peter had somehow convinced everyone else to watch the movie, too. Might have had something to do with the fact that no one exactly had anything better to do.

Kraglin sat at on one end of the sofa, Gamora on the other, and Peter & you were sandwiched in the middle, him next to Gamora and you next to Kraglin. Mantis, Rocket and Groot sat on the floor, while Drax and Yondu took the armchairs at either side of the sofa.

Only you and Peter got the Star Wars references, of course, but there were plenty of parts the others found funny even without it. Rocket mostly laughed about how Terrans didn't understand space at all if you thought that's how things worked, and compared Peter to the main character, Lone Star. He meant it in a derogatory way, of course.

At about the scene where Dark Helmet breaks the 4th wall with the line, "What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?" Peter had started to notice that you didn't laugh openly like everyone else. You always covered your mouth like you were trying to stifle it, despite no one else bothering to be quiet, least of all Drax, who laughed loudly at parts that weren't even that funny.

That simply wouldn't do. You should be laughing freely with the others, like you did when Kraglin and Rocket got tangled up in the hose, which was probably the only time he had seen a genuine full laugh from you, now that he thought of it. To him, this was evidence that he was right, you needed to break that shell of yours and learn how to loosen up.

Annnd... if that required a little mischief on his part... well then so be it.

He waited a bit, just to see if you'd eventually let yourself relax, but when you just kept biting your lip not to laugh and covering your mouth when you started to, he decided he'd 'help' you along.

The scene came on where Dark Helmet's men were combing the dessert with a literal giant comb, and seeing you trying to stifle another laugh, Peter decided to poke you in the side.

You tried to stifle your squeak and you glared at him, but he just shrugged innocently. Poke you? Never... Doesn't sound like him...

He spaced a couple more pokes within the next few minutes of the film, making you jump and hiss at him to stop. He grinned at you and whispered he thought you could use some help laughing, since it seemed you had forgotten how. The little shit.

You irritably whisper back, "That's not gonna work, I'm not-"

Peter rolled his eyes playfully and replied, "Yeah. Sure. Not ticklish. You've said. Too bad I don't believe you." He made to poke you again and you pinched him hard on the arm, which you admit was childish, but he deserved it for annoying you. He gave you a pouty look in response and then frowned when Gamora scolded him and told him to quit behaving like a child.

You sat back and thought he'd finally quit.

And he might have, seeing that it wasn't quite working as he hoped, but Kraglin, who of course noticed your flinching and the childish bickering between you and Peter, caught Peter's eye and they shared a look. He wanted in on the fun. Movie wasn't all that interesting to him anyways.

Five minutes later you received a poke from each of them simultaneously, making your arms clamp to your sides. You turn your head from side to side to glare at both of them. Quietly threatening to break their fingers if they didn't straighten up and just watch the movie.

Based on their expressions it was clear they didn't take you seriously, but they seemed to back off... for about another ten minutes. That's when they decided to poke you again and you jerked up off the sofa with a "That's it." and moved to sit down on the floor next to Mantis where you knew you were out of their reach.

Gamora smacked Peter in the arm for annoying you off the sofa, but no one paid much mind or reacted with more than a glance as they were paying attention to the movie. Well, except for Yondu, who had fallen asleep and was now snoring softly in his chair.

Peter was slightly disappointed that you hadn't been able to let your guard down, but he wasn't deterred. In fact, he was more determined to not just chip at your shell, but shatter it. There was someone who liked to have fun in there, and he was determined to find them and pull them out.

Thankfully, you were able to finish the rest of the movie unbothered. Rocket complained about the sappy ending where Lone Star and the Princess marry, but then Mantis said she thought it was sweet and he waved her off, grumbling about how she thought everything was sweet, or cute, or whatever...

After the movie you decided to go out to the shed and apply the varnish to the bed frame, and when you came back inside to wash some of the varnish off your hands you were startled when Kraglin snuck up behind you to poke you in the ribs. He dodged just in time to avoid being smacked and ran out of the kitchen, his giggles joined by Peter's in the hall.

You sighed, now thinking you should have taken more time in the shed with the varnish. Maybe cooking something would keep you busy enough, but what would you cook? Your first thought was that lasagna would likely feed everyone, but then you remembered the cheese and you were not about to have a repeat of that morning. You were sure the hairs inside your nose were singed-off forever.

You walk out the kitchen door to catch the men still giggling in the hall and they jump from the unexpected sight of you, probably thinking you had come out to properly smack them for deliberately annoying you. You look at them, unamused, and say, "Supper will be in about an hour if you want it. If there's anything else any of you can't eat you should probably tell me now."

Peter and Kraglin exchanged looks before Peter turned back to you and said, "If there is, we don't know it yet."

Kraglin nodded and added, "Not a lot of experience with Terran food, ma'am."

You cringe slightly at being called ma'am, but give a short nod. "Well, here's hoping I don't poison anyone again," you say, turning to head back to the kitchen. You are stopped when another poke to your waist makes you jump and you turn back with a hand raised to smack him.

Peter recoils with a laugh and says, "Just wondering if you'd like any help in the kitchen?"

You narrow your eyes. "Nope. Think you two better stay out here. Clearly can't trust you not to annoy me." You can hear their chuckles as you walk back into the kitchen.

Mercifully, they left you alone all through the cooking and eating of dinner, (you had decided to make a stew). Well, they left you alone physically, that is. Throughout dinner they kept attempting jokes, and it was obvious they were aiming them at you in an attempt to get you to laugh. Most of them fell flat, however, because most of the jokes Kragin told hinged on you knowing about creatures or other stuff not from Earth that you'd have not any way of knowing the context for to make the joke make sense. The others seemed to get the jokes and find them funny though, so at least they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Better than awkward silence any day.

Peter was able to tell a few jokes with Earth references that you could understand, but they were such old jokes that anyone who didn't live in a cave would have already heard them before they finished primary school, so you didn't really laugh at his either. You did, however, smile politely, assuming that they were only trying to be friendly.

After dinner you started to get ready to wash the dishes, and Gamora offered to help.

"No thank you, I've got them tonight." you say, taking the couple of bowls she had gathered and put them in the sink.

"You sure? You cooked for us, it doesn't seem right to let you clean up by yourself too."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make a habit of it, just... some nights I like to have something to keep me busy, ya know?" You turn on the tap and start washing the dishes. You hated to admit it, but that boiler Fury replaced your immersion with had proven to be very helpful with eight extra people in the house. If you didn't know better you'd say it was magic. Somehow there was just always hot water. You willed yourself not to get too used to it, however. No one had said, but surely SHIELD was just temporarily loaning it until the Guardians finally were able to go back home. You couldn't imagine them just giving you an upgrade like that to keep forever.

"Ok," Gamora relented, not wanting to push it. She could tell you probably still needed a bit more time before you could fully relax. "Thanks for supper."

"Don't mention it," you say, not looking up as you sudsed a bowl.

Gamora nodded and walked out of the kitchen, passing Peter, Kraglin and Mantis on her way into the sitting room. They looked like they were conspiring something, but as a general rule, she didn't get involved in Peter's shenanigans. That meant that unless it was going to directly annoy her, or possibly injure someone else, she pretended not to notice.

She had been right, they were conspiring. Well, Peter and Kraglin had been, Mantis was just along for the ride. With nothing better to do, the two men decided they'd put their energy towards continuing to mess with you, however, it was clear that they needed to get smarter about their approach if they didn't want to risk a black eye.

So they deployed Mantis.

It didn't take much to convince Mantis to do it either. It literally just took Peter asking Mantis if she wanted to play a game and she agreed.

In truth Peter was testing a theory. He watched from the kitchen door with Kraglin as they sent Mantis in to do the poking while you washed the dishes.

She poked, you jumped and spun to face her, clearly thinking it was one of the guys, and then the irritation softened from your face as you realized it was her and all she got was a mild scolding. Mantis looked back and Kraglin encouraged her to do it again with an enthusiastic nod.

This time she fluttered her fingers at your waist from both sides like she had the other day, making you jump again, and, with what sounded suspiciously to the guys to be a poorly suppressed giggle in your voice, you scolded her again and shooed her away.

Theory confirmed. You couldn't bring yourself to try and smack her away like you had with them. Good. He could work with that. Use your soft spot for her against you.

This time they motioned Mantis to come back.

She meets them at the doorway and on her way out whispers, "Did I do a good job?"

Peter smiles, "Yes. You did great. Hey, I want to show you a trick..."

***

A bit later you walked into the sitting room and Mantis calls you over to the table, saying she wants to show you a trick.

She's sitting with Peter, Kraglin, and Gamora, and you walk over hesitantly, wondering if Gamora's presence meant you could assume you'd be safe from mischief or not, seeing as she normally swatted at or scolded Peter for being annoying.

Once you reached the table Mantis stood and encouraged you to take a seat. You pull out a chair at the end of the table and sit, only to be instructed by Mantis to turn and face her.

You eye her suspiciously and then turn to Gamora. "Am I going to regret this?" you ask, your eyes moving to Peter and Kraglin who sat across from her, shrugging and shaking their heads. You were sure you could only trust them about as far as you could throw them, but Gamora appeared to genuinely have no idea what Mantis wanted to show you, so you decided to just play along. How bad could it be?

Mantis instructed you to hold out your hand for her, and you did as asked. She then held your hand palm up and placed her thumb at the tip of your middle finger, and rested the tip of her own middle finger where the palm of your hand met your wrist, as if she were measuring the distance with her own hand.

She then released your hand and moved the hand she used to measure the length of your hand with to your knee, placing her thumb on your kneecap and lowering the tip of her middle finger to rest on your thigh above the knee.

"What are you doing?" you ask, suspicion and confusion in your voice.

Mantis looked up to meet your gaze. She smiled happily and said, "I'm distracting you for this!"

You raise an eyebrow but before you could wonder much about it she squeezed your leg where her middle finger had been resting, sending a tickly jolt through your body and making you jerk in your seat and your breath catch in your throat.

You grasp for her wrist to push her away, but then she just attacked your other leg with her other hand. "Mantis! No!" you squeak, squirming in your seat and flailing for her hands. Every time you'd grab for one hand, she'd free her other hand and send ticklish pokes and squeezes wherever she could reach.

She was was a little stronger and quicker than she looked, so it made the task of restraining her hands difficult for you. You did your best to hold back any laughter as you flinched and jerked from your torment. You could hear Peter laughing and telling her 'good job,' and Kraglin encouraging her to continue, which she did, happily giggling the whole time.

"Peter!" you half scold/half beckon.

"Yes?" he asked teasingly, folding his hands under his chin with a cheeky grin. Gamora rolled her eyes and tried to shake her head disapprovingly at him, but she couldn't help grinning. Mantis just looked so playful and it was honestly adorable.

"Will you-AEK" you squeak as she darted a hand and squeezed at your waist before you could stop her, "Will you make her stop!"

"Thought you weren't ticklish?" Kraglin said with a teasingly smug grin. "That shouldn't bother you at all then. I don't see a problem."

Gamora sighed with a smile at the two men. So that's what this was about. They must have put Mantis up to this.

"Dammit!" you jerk again as Mantis landed another squeeze above your knee. "I'm- I'm not- I'm-" you were having managing words, because each time you attempted, you were cut off by another poke or squeeze from Mantis, and you were afraid you would start laughing if you allowed yourself to talk through it. You were already having a hell of a time trying not to smile, and failing.

"I swear, if you actually say you're not ticklish right now, Pete and I will pin you down and prove that you are." Kraglin threatened with an evil grin.

"Kraglin!" Gamora scolded with furrowed brow, but her warning wasn't taken too seriously on account of the humor laced in her voice.

"What? She's the one being so stubborn she can't admit it!" Kraglin laughed. As far as he was concerned, you deserved it for fibbing. Plus, wouldn't kill you to loosen up a bit- you could be... well, scary... sometimes. Although it was kinda hard to think of you as scary at the moment while you were spasming in a chair as you kept trying to get a hold on Mantis's quick hands and a grin more than threatened to crack your face.

You could feel your cheeks getting warm, hating showing signs of weakness, but knowing you didn't have much choice at the moment. "Ok! Fine!" you cry out, still grappling at Mantis's hands and biting back any giggles that threatened to spill out. You knew when you were beat. It was pretty damn obvious that you couldn't deny being ticklish anymore, and you sure as hell weren't about to give them a reason to actually properly tickle the snot out of you. You wouldn't stand a chance.

"Fine... what?" Peter chuckled in a sing-song voice and leaned on the table.

You could kill him. "Fine! I'm ticklish, okay!? I admit it! Are you happy now!?" Just then Mantis managed to free both hands and briefly tweak your ribs before you got a grip on her wrists again, finally getting a short laugh to escape your throat as you spasmed in your chair. "Will you call her off now, please!?" Gods, this was embarrassing. You didn't know how, but they were so going to pay for this.

Peter and Kraglin high-five and Peter says, "Alright, Mantis, good job."

Mantis stood and clasped her hands, giggling and saying how that was so much fun, and you half-heartedly glare up at her before standing so you could get out of there, but not before turning to aim a glare at Peter and Kraglin. The jackasses.

When you turn back you notice Yondu leaning on the back of the sofa looking amused and you cringe, asking, "How long have you been standing there?"

Yondu folded his arms and pretended to think. "Hmm... Long enough to hear the boys threaten to tickle ya silly and then see ya fold like a cheap tent." Humor twinkled in his eyes and you wanted to melt into the floor.

You inhale and look to the ceiling, your cheeks burning. Your expression then turned mischievous. Vengeance. Now.

"Mantis?" you say, turning back to face her.

"Yes?" she answers, smiling wide and sweetly.

You put on your best, most innocent face. "Ya know, maybe you should do that to Peter. Or Kraglin. Why should they miss out on the fun?" Your eyes flick to the pair menacingly to see Peter looking at you like you just shot him.

Mantis giggles and goes to take your suggestion, bouncing to their side of the table. Peter bolted from his chair, saying, "Mantis- wait a minute!" and tried to run around the table, getting slowed down when Kraglin tripped him, mostly likely to save himself as he also stood to get out of Mantis's way, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her in Peter's direction when it looked like she was going after him. Unfortunately for Peter, he didn't get much further after Kraglin tripped him as Gamora effortlessly caught him by the arm and then laughed as she held him in place and he complained.

You turned back to Yondu with a satisfied smile and started to walk past him to leave when he leaned over to speak in a low tone as you got near. "Hope ya know that was a mistake, girl," he chuckled.

"What?" you say, surprised. Peter could be heard laughing and pleading with Mantis and Gamora behind you.

He grinned wider. "If there's anythin' I know about that boy, ya just declared war. An' if that ain't bad enough, now yer stuck in a house with him, and my first mate who ain't got nothin better to do."

"Ah." Your voice cracks, your eyes widening, nervousness creeping into your belly. "Well surely they wouldn't hold a grudge- I mean, they started it-"

He straightened back up and chuckled, shaking his head knowingly. "Jus' figured I should give ya a heads up. Do with it what ya will. Boy's partial to pranks when it comes to revenge. Might wanna be on the lookout for buckets of water above your doorways tomorrow. Or grease in your boots. That used to be Quill's go-to." Mirth glistened in his eyes and made you unsure if this warning was out of the goodness of his heart or if he enjoyed seeing the 'oh shit' look on your face.

You swallowed. Fuck. Just what you needed. A war. You decided it might be a good idea to get out before Peter could escape, or before Kraglin could decide to avenge his friend. "Well I'm going to go to bed now." Your voice was a little higher than you'd like and you could hear Yondu chuckling as you scarpered.

He knew it was more likely you were going to hide than going to sleep. It was barely dark out.

Yondu shook his head and walked to take a seat on the couch, still chuckling at the flicker of fear in your eyes when he told you that you had started a war. He switched on the TV and idly wondered who'd give up first. He'd gotten the impression that you wouldn't be one to back down, despite the nervousness present on your face.

You may have the advantage of being on home turf, but Quill could be relentless. More than likely you were fucked, but it'd be interesting to see how it all played out.

You might surprise him.

[pepper-up-potion]

Starry nights (Remus Lupin x fem!reader)

Summary: Remus has a crush on reader but never directly admits it so reader grows impatient and fesses up before him.

Warnings: the mention of the word penis (not in a sexual way it’s a joke more specifically the penis game where u say the word lowered and lowered in a public place), nothing else, it’s just fluff

Word count: 1783 words

A/n: Once again a fic inspired by my relationship 🙈. I feel like Remus is one of those people that thinks you’re already dating and forgets to make it official (much like my bf) so I wrote a fic about that. Hope you like it :)

(Y/n) is scribbling away trying to finish her astronomy paper about Jupiter’s moons before the end of her free period. She’s gone up to the library where she expects no distractions and absolute silence.

This wish is met until she arrives at her concluding paragraph. Laughs erupt from the front entrance of the library and she suspects that is all the work she is going to get done before class. Three boys sit down in front of her while she finishes her sentence. She finally looks up at Sirius, James and Remus who have just started playing the penis game.

“Penis” James whispers.

“Penis” says Sirius with a normal register. The few students close by turn their heads and look in disapproval. To this the boys start howling with laughter.

Remus fills his lungs and gets ready to scream but she cuts him off.

“Shhhh. You’ll get us kicked out.” She whispers with her eyes narrowed.

Remus looks at her apologetically as he releases the air from his lungs. “Sorry” he mumbles, cheeks red.

“We’re bored y/n come hang out with us.” Says James with a whiny voice.

“Don’t you have work to do?” She whispers sharply. Maybe if Madam Pince sees her whispering she’ll only kick out the boys and let her stay and finish her paper.

“Ughh who caressss” groans Sirius.

“We were thinking of playing a short game of quidditch. Do you wanna come with us?” Remus whispers.

“It sounds fun but I really want to finish this paper before my next class.” His face falls when she declines but he quickly covers it with an acknowledging nod.

“nerd.” Coughs Sirius.

She sticks her tongue out at him making them chuckle.

They quickly realize she isn’t going to budge and before she knows it, they were gone. Grateful for the peace and quiet she focuses back to her paper and writes down another sentence. As she ponders on what to write next she looks up and notices a small bit of folded parchment that had not been there before the boys came to visit.

Looking around to make sure it couldn’t be someone else's, she reaches out and unfolds the paper. Maybe she will recognize one of the boys’ writing and give it back to them.

Meet me at the boathouse at 10:00 tonight. -Mooney

Her stomach fills with butterflies and a deep blush tints her cheeks. It’s been a month now they’ve been going on what feels like dates. It’s always just the two of them, the activity always more romantic than the last. Remus walks her back to her common room every time and there’s the occasional hand hold during these night excursions. Neither of them have addressed how they feel about each other. It’s like a secret they’re both trying to keep from each other. A belief that it’s better left unsaid. Sometimes she wonders what would happen if she told him how she felt.

~

Remus is standing at the edge of the harbor looking out at the still water.

“Should I have brought a bathing suit? Or maybe a life jacket? How good are you with boats?” She jokes with a quizzical brow.

Remus does a fast 180 and smiles wide as soon as he sees her face.

“Do you trust me (y/n)?” He asks, smirking.

I trust you more than anyone. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you. It’s what she wants to say. She looks in his soft eyes. It’s like he knows the answer already. She settles with a small nod instead.

He grabs her hand and guides her to one of the small boats. He steps in first, offering his hand to help her next. With the flick of his wand the boat moves forward.

“Where are we going?” She asks, already a few guesses in mind.

“You’ll see.” He smirks.

It’s mid-October and she can already feel the cold wind stinging her cheeks as the boat moves away from the castle and into the darkness. They mostly ride in silence. There’s the occasional question and anecdote about their day but they don’t really feel it’s necessary to fill the silence.

“Were here” he says after a while.

“What do you mean we're here? There’s nothing here but water!” She says in somewhat of a panic.

“No love, look behind you.” The surname makes her stomach knot on itself and she feels her cheeks turn that familiar pink. She still can’t believe how easily he can get her all flustered.

She turns at the same time as the boat docks onto an island.

“This is bowtruckle island.” Remus says as he climbs out of the boat and gives her a hand out. “I come here when I need some time away from the boys. This is the only place they don’t know I go to. I call it my safe haven.”

She laughs but after looking at the small island, she sort of understands what he means. “There’s something sort of serene about this place. I can see why you like it.”

“Exactly.” He looks at her in absolute admiration. He knew she would see it too, it’s like she understands him perfectly, she feels what he feels.

For a moment they both stand awkwardly on the shore before Remus pulls out a pack. He walks towards the large tree that almost takes up the whole surface of the island. He pulls a blanket and two small pillows from the pack and lays them out on the ground. He looks up at (y/n) and points to one of the pillows.

“I thought we could look at the stars together.” He suggests.

She smiles and nods in agreement. She never knew Remus could be such a romantic until they started these “dates”.

Their conversations flow smoothly as they talk about the stars and classes and funny memories, getting more and more familiar with one another. They eventually fall into a comfortable silence. The rhythmic sound of the water swishing onto the shore helps her drift away into her thoughts. She wishes she could stay there forever. She feels at her best when she’s with Remus. She thinks maybe she should tell him that. Maybe she should tell him everything she’s ever thought about him. How badly she wants to kiss him. How much she wishes they could be a couple and walk around the school hand in hand to rub in everyone’s face that they are together. How she’s had a crush on him ever since he smiled and shook her hand when they first met in second year.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a sudden warm feeling around her hand. Remus had intertwined his fingers with hers. She turns her head towards him and they lock eyes. There’s a hopeful glint in his eyes. He turns his body a bit to face her and leans forward. She closes her eyes in anticipation for their first kiss when a strong gust of wind swoops their way. It sends a strong shiver down her spine and immediately kills the moment as she curls into herself and unintentionally moves away from Remus.

“Cold?” He whispers. It’s soft but there’s a light growl indicating he’s bummed. He sits up and grabs another blanket from his bag and unfolds it.

“This should hel-“

“What is this Remus?” It comes off much harsher than she had anticipated but she hardly had time to think before she spat out the words. She thinks maybe it would have been better to say any of the things she had been thinking before he went in for a kiss but she’s quite flustered. She’s fallen for Remus years ago and her feelings grow stronger every time they see each other. She just wants more clarity on what is going on between them and she’s growing impatient about it.

“What?” A panicked look crosses his face. “It’s a blanket...?” He tries.

“No Remus, I mean this.” She sits up and gestures to her surroundings. He furrows his brows in confusion. “Well, you’ve been planning these elaborate and romantic nights where we hold hands and do couple things and I have so much fun every time and I feel like we get along really well and I really like you, like I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else because you’re so kind and caring and thoughtful and funny and you smell good and you have nice hair and you’re the only person I want to take home to meet my parents and then kiss in my room afterwards.” She rambles out in one breath. Remus chuckles with a look of pure delight on his face as (y/n) pants completely out of breath, cheeks tomato red from the blunt confession.

“Do I have to wait until I meet your parents to kiss you?” He asks. She can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“Please don’t.”

He cups her cheek before leaning forwards and softly placing his lips to hers. It starts slow and tentative but quickly develops into a desperate kiss as they make up for years of lustful temptations. Remus places a hand behind her head and one on her waist and guides her down onto the blanket as she hums softly in encouragement.

“Woooooo!”

“Finally!”

“Yeah Mooney!”

The cheers echo on the lake as Remus and (y/n) jump apart in surprise. They spot another boat on the water with three boys in it. Remus shakes his head as Sirius jumps up in excitement which sways the boat so far that Peter falls in the water. Peter pulls on the boat until it capsizes and soon there are three heads bobbing in the water.

“Merlin, I can’t with those three.” Remus shakes his head but his adoring smile says otherwise. “This is your final chance to back out. I can’t even take you to my quiet place without them interrupting.” He points his thumb towards the three who are now bickering on how to turn the boat over.

She places her finger on her chin pretending to think about it. “Hmmm, I think the benefits out weigh the consequences” She concludes.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” he says as he fills the space between stopping before their lips meet and quickly jerking back. “Just to be clear, I like you too.” He blurts with a panicked face and hands out to stop her from leaning forward.

“I’m happy we got that cleared up.” She smiles wide. “Now get back here.” She whispers as she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for another kiss, the sound of the boys yelling fading out as the kiss deepens.