#mostly because I find it funny for him to be simping over someone while having a bromance with Schlatt

[fuck-you-im-the-president]

I wasn't asking to KNOW your name, I just thought that was your name for a second and was MAJORLY confused. I thought Wilbur used to know someone named Jared or something??? Or am I crazy–???

– Tubbo.

good (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) hopefully you will never know my name (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

sigh. Jared. Please for the love of Prime don't mention Jared around Wilbur Fucking McCraft.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hiii I LOVE YOUR WRITING💓💓

I'm a huge Yami simp and id like to request a fic where Yami is struggling to but trying his best to quit smoking cuz his s/o is pregnant? (Bonus: all the black bulls pitch in to help him quit)

Could you please make it Cute but funny too ?

Hiya! Thank you!!! ^^

Oh this was so fun to write, and I hope that you find it cute and funny!

Pairing: Yami Sukehiro x gn!reader (reader is afab) Ft. The Black Bulls Genre: fluff, comdey, slice of life Fanfic type: Oneshot Warnings: references to reader being pregnant, Yami says the "I'll kill you", canon compliant Length: ~0.8k

It had been a couple of weeks since you had told him that you were pregnant. And he had been absolutely over the moon.

At least after he had come down from the happy shock that he had been in, because he could barely have believed it. He could barely have comprehended all the emotions swirling in him, ranging from bliss, through happiness, to fear of being good enough of a father, since there was a small part of him that was terrified of him not being even a decent father since he had had no good role model of his own while growing up. Though someone could have argued that he had gotten a kind of practice with watching after the Bulls.

But that was different. It had been more like… being an uncle. Or just a father figure. But being a father figure wasn’t the same as being a father. So, he was worried.

He was worried about being good enough. For you and your child. Because he did want to be. He wanted to be a good father, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to surpass his own limits in this too. Though there wasn’t really a limit there to begin with, rather than simply trying to be the very best version of himself that he could be.

Which didn’t stop his nerves from being stretched during those first few weeks, because of which he took a cigarette break whenever he could; consuming even more packs a day than before.

But the thing was: he didn’t want to make you inhale the smoke. Or the baby. Which is why he always needed to go outside, far enough from you, so that there’d be no damage.

And he hated having to step away from next to you. Granted that you were still as capable as you were before the pregnancy, since you were so early into it that even the baby bump wasn’t visible. There wasn’t pregnancy cravings or morning sickness just yet, let alone trouble walking or picking up things… Not that he wanted you to be doing any heavy lifting in the first place.

Still. He hated being away from you. And so frequently.

So. Something needed to be done. And that something was to quit smoking.

Going cold turkey would be difficult. But doable. And he figured that it’d be best to get out of the way quickly, so going cold turkey would be what he’d do.

However, to do that he’d need help. Which is why he called a meeting with the Bulls one morning.

“Listen up you buggers,” he said while standing there with his arms crossed. “Your next mission is to help me quit smoking. So, if any of you catch me with a cigarette, or a pack of them, your job is to take it from me.”

Magna raised up his hand. “Can we use anything to do it?”

“Yeah. And if you don’t, I’ll kill ya.”

“You’ll threaten to kill us if we don’t give them to you just as you’ll threaten to kill us if we fail to keep them from you,” Nero pointed out with a monotone voice from the corner.

“I’ll kill you harder if you give them to me.”

“So we get to fight you?” Luck’s eyes sparkled.

“Let’s help Captain Yami!” Asta cheered, being the one to, perhaps, be mots eager to do this, while the hesitance of others was mostly caused by fear of how …ferocious their Captain could be.

But. They would help of course. And they would have done so even if it hadn’t been assigned as a mission.

During the next few weeks, the only one who dared to approach Yami was you, because though his nerves were thin as a hair, you were the only one to whom he not as much as scoffed. Not as much as squinted his eyes.

While for the rest…

“HAND THEM OVER OR I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU!!” Was heard from the distance.

The sound of an explosion.

“Luck! Catch!”

“HAHAHHAHAAA!”

“Rouge!”

“Captain Yami! Think about your health!”

“Seadragon’s Roar!”

“The basement will flood again…”

And meanwhile, you listened to the commotion, giggling to yourself. Because though it was difficult now, Yami would grow out of his smoking habit. You were certain of it. After all, you, and him, had the help of everyone. And after some time, the challenges would change to other kinds.

But you’d still do your best to enjoy the journey, which was quite easy in the grand scheme of things. Quite simply because you were happy, right there and then, with the life you lived.

[bluexiao]

Please, I beg you, gift us with some Cyno fluff headcanons where he comforts reader after finding them crying

–angst, comfort, fluff, slight protectiveness 

and bc i had a slight meltdown yesterday....

CYNO

He’s absolutely frantic whenever he sees you cry. 

The first time he did find you crying, however, he was frozen in place for several seconds after realizing that you were crying by yourself and he was debating whether it was right for him to burst in or not. Soon entering once the thought that you might’ve been harmed came to mind, now convinced that this must be because of a physical injury. 

But it’s not. It seems. 

When he does realize this, you had already seen him–which had taken you by a surprise. 

“C-Cyno? What…” he watches with crunched brows as you hurriedly wipe your tears away, frowning deeply upon the mere sight alone, “What are you doing here? I… I thought you’re… you’re busy?” 

He’ll be very guilty. Even if it clearly wasn’t his fault, he’ll feel a tug in his chest that makes him feel so–it was his fault for not being here by your side, for not noticing the tell-tale signs before your meltdown. 

But he doesn’t say sorry. Because right now, all he feels is rage. 

Who in the world did this to you? 

Even if your problem was mostly self-related, he’d be more inclined over the fact that someone else triggered it–if it was, he’d definitely take note of that name and… well, he’ll remember it if it ever comes up again or if they appear right in front of him. They shall be held responsible the moment you shed your tears for them. He’ll definitely look into them and if he could and they disobey/ed the law, he shall make sure they will be severely and rightfully punished. 

He’s not exactly the best at comforting someone… but his very first thought would be to crack a joke, And so he does. 

“What is 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen, and 1% other gas that can pierce you?” 

You looked at him with a hint of confusion and sadness still lingering in your eyes, “W-what?” 

He mistook your question. Or he just accepted it on his own, “Atmosphere.” 

It took you a while to brush off the confusion in you, but it was not too long when you heaved out a scoff and weak chuckle, smiling ever so lightly, blinking with tears still staining your lashes and cheeks.

Despite deeming his joke successful, he lets out a nervous laugh and a “Was it… not funny? How about-” only to halt when you shook your head silently, shuffling only to wrap your hands his way, making him lean further into you, letting himself sit fully on the ground, right beside you. 

“Are.. are you feeling unwell?” Of course, you are, he’d think, “Would you… I mean, if you’d like to share it, only if you do, I shall be here to lend you my ear.” 

“Then… I’ll lend you for today… can I?” 

He couldn’t help but tighten his hold on you and let you situate yourself over his lap, your weight leaning into him with your head on his chest. 

“Of course. Whatever it is you wish for.” 

Would most likely be quite awkward, but he tries! He cracks jokes more often when he was still hugging you, and he would also tries to cook you up a nice meal! Well, after that, he’ll probably coax you into playing TCG–only if you want to! But he’s just doing this so he can distract you, and for him to intentionally lose every single time. And yep, even if he was quite obvious about it… it was the thought that counts anyway. 

But if you wish to just cuddle, then it’s cuddling that you’ll have.

Reblogs and comments are very appreciated~

TAGLIST (fill the form to be added/removed) 

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[emeritus-fuckers]

Hey is it possible to send in a request for the matchup event?

I'm 5'2, INFP, use they/them pronouns and introverted (however sometimes I will become extroverted around people I'm comfortable with and known well for quite a while). My love languages are mainly quality time and acts of service, whereas I love receiving words of affirmation and physical touch.

(At first I'm usually on edge with hugs and go all stiff and all but then I end up getting used to them and become practically addicted to them).

I usually have really bad social anxiety and I always feel like I'm being constantly judged, like no one really cares about me and everyone will just leave and despise being vulnerable in front of people because I always feel as if I have an image to uphold as the "everything is okay friend/the therapist friend" and I usually need a lot of reassurance from people, especially those closest to me.

I'm a caffeine addict who is a total geek for horror and certain anime and I love listening to very heavy music, reading and writing many different genres of stories. When I end up hyperfixating on something it practically consumes my everyday and I usually find a poor soul to ramble on about it (despite someone not knowing what it is majority of the time). In addition to this I also freak people out with my morbid sense of humour and deep interest in horror, as well as my music taste (which I find is hysterical).

This post is a part of Match-up Event. The Event ended on July 15th.

Your match is Terzo

As touchy as he is, he's perfectly fine with giving you all the time and space you need until you become conformable enough with his affection.

Once you're comfortable, you're both addicted to hugging. It's kinda funny, honestly.

He's insecure too, so he understands you being stressed. He does his best to give you safe space to let your feelings out. He'd never judge you, he's making sure you know that.

He'll give you all the reassurance you need. He loves you with his whole heart. His words and actions show it.

Terzo goes to Starbucks regularly, he absolutely goes with your caffeine addiction. You two constantly sneak out for a coffe.

Joins you for horror movie marathons. Will also give anime a chance, just for you.

Vibes to you music tastes. His own are very, very mixed up, so putting his playlist on shuffle could end up with Let The Bodies Hit The Floor playing right after Barbie Girl. He'll enjoy anything you do.

Will read anything you read or write over your shoulder. Will make comments on it, but he's no critic so don't take him too seriously. He mostly just tells small jokes or makes shitty puns.

Listens to you talking about your hyperfixation with the Emeritus Simp Gaze™ active.

~

Written by Jez.

[takalzuoom]

Hii It's my first time Requesting and if they're closed ignore! Could I request Octo Trio x Reader whose like Cala maria? Like when they're in the water they get really big

Okay okay okay, so this took a while to think about because I had no idea how to write it. Like at all.

And I even ended up watching markiplier’s cuphead gameplay because of it 🙈 and this also inspired my whale shark y/n scenarios! I hope I did these okay 🙇🏻

i hope you like it! and tysm for requesting 😻😻 mwah mwah

cw: cursing, link of raccoon being flung, they/them pronouns!

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐬/𝐨

𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥

He already knew you were gonna be something big- as you tower over himself and the twins.

And frankly, he was excited to find out

Okay, I can say for sure that his face turns SCARLET when he first sees your merform. That you're much, much larger than him that you could easily crush him without a second thought

👁👁

And since we know that Azul is bigger than the twins in water (unlike on land), he did feel a little… threatened

but since it's you it's okay 😻

But it's great for business!

I think that you’re that last resort for some… bothersome customers... like you won't even do anything but stare at them…

silently

🧍🏻

SIMP IN DISGUISE

I see him cuddling up to you in his octo form if there isn't an octo-pot available/near :(

Of course, you coddle your little boyfie :(( when he’s in a mood or just stressed you offer a big ol' hug and just listen to him rant

But he's Azul, and has insecurities- so he'll use this to scare potential ‘suitors’

He’ll feign sadness, have you scoop him up into your arms, and fucking SMIRKS at the other guy

DEFINITELY makes the decapitating motion while you're just like :) happily holding your scheming boyfriend

Mama Azul APPROVES she’s a big lady. Much bigger than Azul

And she just LOVES the fact that you're a whale shark/ Since you eat a lot she has you as the official taste tester! She values your opinion a lot, as she’ll be your mother in law in the very very near future 👁👁

Azul and his mom plan out the wedding in advance- like years in advance- like so in advance they're also planning your first year anniversary

Like- girly will evaluate your every move. Having a checklist and all as she makes sure you’re good for her baby zuzu (she adds 20 points just because you're a whale shark)

He has scary dog privileges

Like if someone gives him trouble over vacation- and before he can even threaten to wipe out their entire bloodline, you’ll just pop up behind him, red smeared on the corner of your lips as you tell them to ‘leave’

(It was his mom’s new jam recipe!)

𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐝

Oh my god, it's spiderman! Spiderman! It’s spider-man!

Oh my god. Personal simp

Like okay, okay, okay.

You're tall, hot, and scary. What more could Floyd ask for in a partner??

When people hear about what kind of merperson you are, they run for the hills.

I mean, with those razor-sharp teeth, blank eyes, and looming presence, I wouldnt wanna be around a great white shark merfolk either.

Though you're not as tall as the other y/n’s, you’re still tall (great whites grow to be over 10 feet. Females are 15-21 and males are 11-13. )

But you fall on the scale of being around 22 feet in the water. And 6’3 on land!

When I tell you it was love at first sight for Floyd. I mean it. He would always drag you off (per your dismay) and bring you along with his shenanigans

Literally, the girl who’s like “oh y/n you're so funny😹😹😹” when you haven't even done anything

Kinda like an extrovert adopting an introvert since you're more prone to be alone. By choice of course, as that’s how you were raised in the sea.

Though I think sometimes Floyd will either respect it or just not give a shit

Like- I mostly see him hanging out with you. Maybe you're reading or just scrolling through your phone as Floyd sits there lazily talking about his day and how he annoyed the shit outta riddle

your occasionally inputs only egg him on

Y’all fucking bite the shit out of each other. 🧍🏻

LIKE OKAY LISTEN- after an impromptu make-out session he walked out looking like he was mauled by a bear

While you walked out looking like you barely managed to escape an axe murderer

Date people who’re willing to bite you 🤞

You play volleyball. And you’re fucking good at it.

I can imagine Floyd helping you practice. Like where your both peppering, but you're both just- spiking at each other.

(Mark my words I’m gonna make separate headcanons for him and his great white hottie)

But in water- he’s a fucking gnat. Like he’s swimming around you every which way as you're just cruising along

Will annoy the shit out of you.

Like you're not used to having this kind of company, especially in the water. But he loves it. Loves how he can scare people with just a mention of your name.

Loves the attention he gets as well.

Just everything about it he loves.

Except when he’s in a bad mood.

You’ll take your little Floyd, put him vertically on your back, and just swim.

But if he’s being especially pissy one day while he's on your back, sulking, you'll start spending up, your boyfriend slipping a bit as you’ll spy hop out of the water and fucking FLING HIM

LIKE HE GOES FLYING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE SPINNING IN THE AIR

AND THEN HE’LL JUST- COME BACK, BEGGING YOU TO DO IT AGAIN

More than once has he asked you to fling him on land so he can

1. Freak out his fellow students by playing zombie

2. Freak out his fellow students by pretending to be a fish out of water. Then attempting to drag them into the water when close enough

Everyone and their mother regrets bringing you two together.

*Floyd standing in front of the ocean*

“Hey babe”

*25” great white shark emerging from the water like the lost city of Atlantis

“Hey”

Someone has pissed themselves in your presence OUIBWERFHIGR

𝐉𝐚𝐝𝐞

Ah yes, Jade and his Orca lover😁

😟

No

Oh god no

The WORST absolute combo

Between jade’s… charming personality, height, and teeth- and your mischievous behavior, large size, and (once again) sharp teeth

You're avoided like the plague

Sometimes, people feel like you're mixed up

“Shouldn’t Floyd be dating the orca while Jade dates the shark?”

You and Floyd's partner are like night and day. And you could understand why they would think that.

They’re more reserve, patient, and sometimes assertive. While you're more sociable, affectionate, and charming… you think they’re dead wrong

Cause, on one hand, you and Floyd tend to clash. Sometimes, while Floyd’s s/o and jade have one-sided conversations (or telepathic ones)

don't let them talk cause they'll plot world domination...

“hey orca- why do they keep looking at us like that”

“couldn’t tell me”

But overall, you love your boyfriend, and he loves you even more. You kind of remind him of his brother with all the hijacks you pull.

But when you're in water, oh my god- he falls in love all over again

You're a bully. Let’s get that straight, when you see another merfolk minding their own business, you both share a look and immediately- like with the snap of a finger, start harassing them.

AND YALL JUST GIGGLE, SWIMMING AWAY WHEN THEY THREATEN TO CALL THE COPS-

He loves your dynamic, loves how you value personal relationships and how much you care for your family

HAS met your family. Your two moms welcoming him with open… hands? It was kinda weird, 'cause you're all so much bigger than him that he couldn’t hug them without it seeming awkward.

WILL use your height in and out of water for his advantage.

I think he might be a little bitter about how you're so much taller than him, but that ends when he sees you struggling to do normal things

Like when you get stuck in the rocks underwater, not able to go to half shops since you can't even fit your arm through the door.

And even on land, you're constantly bumping your head on doors, getting suck in hallways, pouting at him to help you.

Like Floyd, he has recreated that moment. But in different fonts

Like okay- setting the scene

Imagine some customers are trying to give Jade a harsh time in the lounge. By this time Floyd dipped, Azul's in his office (said yall could handle it) and the other employees didn’t know what to do.

Of course, you were in the lounge, trying to take a quick snooze before your shift. But accidentally eavesdropping on your boyfriend and his new 'friends'

And when Jade finally backed up against the glass, monkey grin stretched upon his face as he knocked on the glass saying ‘babe’

They were meant with a singular eye. First looking up, then snapping to them as they stood frozen in fear.

Jade, chuckling, slowly walked towards them as you you swam by giving them a preview of your body that never seemed to end…

Until it did

Bending down towards them, jade places a hand on two of their shoulders, the others watching the tank intently as Jade only whispered one thing.

“Run”

And before they even had the chance, you emerged from the water's surface. Water ran off your ink and snow-stained body, as you smiled eerily at them.

Before you could even open their mouth, they sprinted out the door, pants a little wet as they promised to never come here again.

There was a brief silence until you started laughing- cackling hysterically.

The employees and regulars joining in as they were used to this scenario.

Jade only chuckled, reaching up to caress your hand. Silently telling you how you did well.

“I didn’t even say anything” you huffed, picking at your ear. Jade was about to say something until a loud sigh was heard

“Really y/n?” Again?” Azul groaned, looking at the water stains around the tank.

You both shared a look, then shrugged. “It was the most efficient way to handle rowdy customers. Besides-” he gazed at you, who was bored out of your mind, leaning against the glass.

“Something tells me we won't have any problems for a long while”

I see him catching a ride on you. When you want to spy hop he’ll hold onto your dorsal fluke and just enjoy the view of the endless oceans and the setting horizon.

( curse you anon! I now making separate Jade and Floyd scenarios 👿) /lh

[amora-ledezma]

I have this funny idea for a Twisted Wonderland x Obey Me! story/fanfic—

Okay, Yuki(Obey Me MC) and Yuu(Twisted Wonderland MC) are both from the same “world”(Yuki’s/Obey Me world) and they’re besties. I imagine them having a dynamic that balances each other out, like Yuki can be reckless and Yuu is their impulse control, I think it would be interesting.

I know this would probably ruin the whole “Yuu came from a world where magic doesn’t exist” but consider; you know how it was mentioned in twst that transportation magic can mess up a person’s mind for a little while? What if Yuu was roped into deal a higher power made with RSA and NRC? So technically the whole thing about Yuu’s world not having magic was just the transportation magic’s effects and they would remember later on in the story(say, Malleus’ Overblot). So both stories proceed, Yuu disappears first, and Yuki’s just all “omg what happened to my bestie did they die?!” and all but then Diavolo’s letter comes and then they get to Devildom and then Obey Me! continues on as usual.

Yuu finds a way back after remembering “oh sh-t, im not from a magicless world, i myself just dont have magic” but it turns out it was thru some portal and they can essentially go back and forth both worlds so Yuu is just taking a vacation back in their world. And then Yuu hears about Yuki’s situation and is like “??? my best friend is in literal hell???? i know they were a menace but wHAT-” and then after their panic sets down they decide to visit Yuki in Devildom(how? I don’t know? Maybe the brothers/Diavolo agreed because they wanted to do something for Yuki) and then Yuu surprises Yuki which leads to Yuki almost burning Yuu.

And so they decide to catch up and tell each other what has been happening in their respective lives. And by this point I think they would just be tired and wouldn’t even flinch at the mention of death so the conversation just goes:

Yuu: So, how many times did you almost die?

Yuki: A lot, and I actually died one time

Yuu: you what.

And then Yuu is back on “Yuki’s impulse control” duty.

Or, alternatively, they both decide to reck havoc and chaos on the brothers. And no, I’m not going to elaborate.

And if you haven’t figured it out yet, Yuu is the only person that can actually see how much of red flags the brothers and the dateables have, and tries to make Yuki see them too so they could do at least something about it but they ultimately give up.

And their conversations would be like one of the many instances where you try to tell your bestie the person their talking to is a red flag while they gush and simp over said person:

Yuki: Gosh, Belphie is so hot.

Yuu: …d-didn’t he kill you?

Yuki: And on top of that, he’s so adorable! How can someone be both all at once!

Yuu: Bestie-

Yuki: And Lucifer too! He’s so serious and mature…

Yuu: You have many reasons not to trust him-

Yuki: And Leviathan! He told me he sometimes watches romance animes just to memorize the scene and recreate them with me!

Yuu: Wasn’t he the one that tried to kill you for having some limited addition keychain from his favorite series…?

Yuki: Diavolo is even more so! So responsible and well-spoken!

Yuu: He’d put being the future demon king first and probably would give up on you because of that.

Yuki: Satan is so intellectual! Well-spoken too, well-read, and what’s more is he likes cats!

Yuu: …he sounds strangely similar to me- probably the only trustworthy person you have mentioned so far

Yuki: What about Mammon?

Yuu: Ding dong are those the f-cking wedding bells I hear? Probably one of the only green flags in this whole kingdom.

Yuki: …Barbatos?

Yuu: Don’t even ask, man seems like he can easily manipulate you.

May or may not write more with this prompt. Wait for that if you want.

Bonus: The brothers’ reaction to Grim

*Lucifer staring at Grim and Yuu*

*Grim hisses at him*

Grim: Stay away from my human.

Grim kind of reminds Lucifer of Mammon(mostly because he’s named after their literal currency).

Mammon: What’s this demon cat’s name?

Yuu: Grim.

*Happy Mammon noises*

Mammon: Can I borrow him? He might bring money, he’s kind of a panda.

Yuu, dazzled by Mammon’s smile: Sure,

Grim: HUMAN NO—

Grim was brought to the casino and stayed there all day.

Levi would just stare and walk away, weirding out Yuu and Grim.

*Satan, eyes practically sparkling as he looks at Grim behind his book*

Yuu, noticing: You can pet him if you want!

*Satan, silently putting down the book and taking a sleeping Grim off of Yuu’s lap*

Grim: W-what- HUMAN THIS DEMON’S KIDNAPPING ME-

Yuu: He isn’t kidnapping you, Grim.

Grim: He totally is—

*Grim purring as Satan pets him*

Yuu, looking down at Satan’s book: Any book recommendations?

Satan: Depends on which genre.

Yuu: …anything with academic rivals to lovers.

Satan, pulling out a long list: Glad you asked.

In return for Satan’s good book recommendations, Yuu gave him some of their magical textbooks from Twisted Wonderland, Satan grew interested in overblots and now they somehow have weekly meet ups to just have tea and read books.

Asmodeus would just compliment Grim’s shiny fur and Yuu’s smooth skin, which leads to Yuu introducing Asmo to Vil’s cosmetics brand.

Let’s be honest, Beel would probably try to give some random demon food to Grim, who happily accepts it. They get along pretty well because of their unending appetites.

Belphie would just make Grim into a pillow/body pillow.

[nonbinarykai]

Okay you know what, I’ve held this back far enough

Why I hate canon Kailor sm

Tw:// misogyny ment, incest ment

Im not gonna tag Kailor on this for obvious reasons plus this is kinda a long post, I don’t mind fanon Kailor mostly because tbh I don’t think it’s really a big thing and most I have seen of it is fine. Don’t read this if you like Kailor and don’t want to hear it bashed

Okay listen, s4 is my favorite season out of all ninjago, but if theres one thing I hate about it the most is Kailor. This ship has always been really annoying to me throughout the show, and I’ve hinted towards that in my blog. But why?

1. It’s basically jaya redone

Kailor brings nothing new or interesting to the table because honestly? It’s literally just the same dynamic as jaya. Socially awkward guy simps for usually unimpressed girl until she eventually caves in and they start dating.

Not only has this already been done before with jaya, but is also completely out of character for Kai to do.

While I admit seeing Kai as a flustered dork is kinda funny, once you realize the context of the situation that they’re in it’s pretty clear that Kai would never actually do this.

Reminder: Kai JUST found out his dead friend is alive and is forced to recognsizle with friends in order to get him back

Usually when Kai is presented in a situation like this, what he normally does is set himself dead first on the task at hand and usually ignores any distractions. He’s mostly distance and seemingly uncaring

((note this is after Zane died and Kai ran away from the ninja because of cole and jays bickering, knowing him he wouldn’t be the most excited to be back. His arc should have revolved around coming to terms with lost friendships due to death or distance but that never happens)).

What Kai DOESNT do is immediately fall head over heels for a girl he JUST meet to the point where even when he sees his DEAD FRIEND ALIVE AND WELL he completely ignores that for a girl he meet less then a week ago

This is something JAY would do, not KAI, Kai is a loyal friend who do anything to save his friends, he cherishes them and would fight god to help them with anything they need, he doesn’t forget them for someone new

It also does skylor unjustice as well, but we’ll get there when we get there

2. It adds nothing to the characters and is otherwise never mention again

You know how bad you fuck up a relationship if the best aspect of it is how it’s rarely on screen

Even considering the fact Kailor is just jayas dynamic, the connection between skylor and Kai feels completely non existent or one sided

Most of Kailor revolves around Kai simping for skylor

They have no common interests, common goals, they rarely actually talk outside of lloyds plan to overthrow chen

The whole relationship feels forced every time it’s brought up because of how disconnected they both are to eachother, Kai only likes skylor because she’s hot and that’s it, nothing else about her is actually interesting to Kai in anyway ((again sort out of character for him in this situation))

Skylor and Kai don’t form any genuine bond with eachother, it feels hallow and empty

Let’s compare this to lava, wait no that would be to easy, let’s compare this to pixane

Pixal and Zane both genuinely like and respect eachother, they both share bonds outside of being robots, they both care about eachother enough to know when they’re uncomfortable or need help

Kailor is barely mentioned past s4 and most of it in s4 is Kai being a creep

Oh yeah let’s get to that

3. It’s really really creepy

Im sorry I don’t find incest jokes funny ninjago, it’s just really uncomfortable and creepy

Hopefully this goes without saying but Kai thinking skylor is hot, figuring out they might be related and no longer finding her hot, and then finding out they aren’t and thinking she’s hot is really weird and creepy

Not to mention scenes like, Kai looking into her room without her knowledge or consent

Or Kai fighting people for her when it’s not necessary

Or him trying to impress her everytime he sees her

This isn’t cute or funny, it’s gross, privacy invading, and overall just very creepy and uncomfortable and most definitely not healthy

Again, this is REALLY out of character for Kai, Kai knows when to back off and respect people’s privacy

Literally the season before this he didn’t get involved in the love triangle probably because he knew that would make Nya’s situation worse

So for him to suddenly become this privacy evading perv is so grossly out of character for him and makes the whole relationship feel off and unhealthy

And finally

4. The whole thing is misogynistic

During this entire thing skylor doesn’t get a choice in the show once, she follows the commands of her dad before Kai tells her not to like her dad and follows his lead.

She doesn’t come to disliking her dad by her own thought, she was told to by Kai

She doesn’t get to do anything that SHE actually wants to do until LITERALLY the VERY END

She’s told by guys around her what she should do constantly, even without her being a love interest that’s just screams misogynistic to me ((Afab speaking anyways))

Everything about her character, down to the way she talks, who she’s allied with, and even sometimes how she looks is determined by male characters

Conclusion

If canon ships were shrek movies then kailor is easily shrek the third, a constant tired unfunny mess that caused everyone to think that these ships were shit ((to be fair Jaya is kinda bad to but at least it tired to get better))

There’s nothing redeeming about it to me, every time it’s viewed in a romantic setting it makes me groan or upset

What’s even more frustrating is how people constantly say lava can’t be canon because of it

Im going to go on a side tangent so you can just skip this part as it doesn’t add any actual substance to my argument

But it’s so frustrating to see people say that

Cole and Kai have had a much healthier relationship and would be a lot better for there characters

But no, this stupid misogynistic creepy ship where one side isn’t even consententing to it half the time is the one that has to stay canon because “it’s what the creators intended”

Lava isn’t the superior possibly canon relationship because it’s gay, it’s superior because it’s closer to a healthy working relationship in show then kailor has been ((fanon lava and kailor doesn’t count here because they’re isn’t any better fanon ship, Im just talking about in show))

But no it can’t be canon and it’s unfair for people to want it to be canon because tommy created this rlly shitty straight relationship for Kai instead

TLDR; fuck kailor

[sillyroyalty]

Edit : reuploaded separately because I ended up attaching this to a reblog. I don’t want to inconvenience others viewing the comments with my long as paragraph so I thought it over

Note: oc for Sincerely Not, an absolutely amazing attention grabbing story by @saintobio . I recommend it anyone who’s 18 and over since it’s a mdni

My post is purely for fun and Yuuta simping because he is fine af in this fic and needs love 😌

This reminds me of the doodle I did in chemistry class instead of paying attention. I remembered that someone made and oc (I think they made a character that was the by blood sister of satoru? The white haired one?) And they provided facts about the character and how they would play out in the story. In the moment I had a thought and doodled out a concept. However this character while connecting to a character in SN isn’t necessarily invested in the affairs and family drama (she’s on the border of it though), instead she seeks out the affection and companionship of the Second Gogou son…Yuuta👀

Mona Zenin

Step 1 : concept art and plot

*the doodle I did behind my teachers back🙊 haha please excuse the scribbles I call sketches, I had to be sneaky

Mona Zenin (18-19 yrs old) the younger sister of our favorite manipulator Naoya Zenin. Just another child the sea of the Zenins. She has no clout sadly because Naoya is probably gonna inherit all the business shit if given the chance also there’s a long ass line before that happens. (Toji, Megumi, Maki,Mai,etc). In the end I’m terms of benefits for the family she’s useless. It doesn’t help the fact that this young lady has no sense of money and has not a damn clue how to run a business. Mona can’t tell you the state of the stock market but she can tell you that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell :D

Now as you’ve guessed useless = not exactly mommy or daddy’s favorite 😞

I mean they don’t hate her, nonono, they just try to keep her away from business partners and business info 🙃 because she blabs everything to Toji anyways

Step 2 : about Mona

Mona was born weak and was always a sickly child, spent most of her toddling days in the hospital or puking on expensive shit. The Zenins have maids specifically tasked to look after her. Now our Mona is mostly healthy but the house servants have grown attached, looks at the wittle Miss Mona eating and growing 🥺💓

Mona is dressed by the maids. Sadly they be out there dressing her in frills while her cousins ( Maki and Mai) and other rich kids are decked out in fashion. Mona feels awkward and out of place, the weird looks and whispers she gets are hurtful, all she’s known as is the ugly duckling of the Zenin clan.

That’s not to say Mona is actually useless…she’s creative and smart, does well at science and English, and loves to act on stage for school plays- but none of that is important to the Zenin clan now ?

To sum it up Mona has all the cons of being a Zenin but none of the pros.

Step 3: relationships with Sn cast ?

Yuuta: He’s sweet, adorable and well mannered, and compared to most socialites actually down to Earth. Talks to Mona during gatherings, invites her to hang out with her cousins and him. She feels happy with him. Mona hates herself quite a bit, she feels helpless and trapped but with Yuuta she feels as if they are in the same page. He dances with her at the balls when everyone else picks the elegant Maki and Mai. He indulges in the theatrics Mona does. Mona is dead ass in love, she holds a silver of hope that she’ll be able to marry him. Will Mr Gogo and Eula give his hand to her ? She maybe and outcast but nevertheless she is a ZENIN…. Mona hates sucking up to her parents and other rich snobs but to up her status so they’ll let her marry him…she’ll suck up to whoever and study all the business books in the world to be by his side and support him.

Naoya : She doesn’t really bother with him, she knows about the whole Eula thing- she’s not going to bring it up ever though…she hates Naoya, he’s annoying, spoiled, and unfaithful but he is a man and the apple of their parents eye. Mona will simply keep quiet but Naoya know quite a bit about her, it’s not like she can keep her mouth shut anyways. She’ll rant to him often and they have their occasional arguments over petty things ( ah siblings)

Naoya knows about Mona’s crush on Yuuta…he promised he’d slip in a good word about her to the Gogo clan so they’ll consider her for their younger son.

Well to be fair the entire Zenin family knows about her crush, they find it cute and funny.

Maki, Mai and Megumi will sometimes subtly make up excuses and set Yuuta and Mona up 😄

Toji even promised he’d introduce and get her in touch with Y/N L/N one day …maybe she’ll help Mona get a better dressing sense because this girl is dressed like a old time Victorian porcelain doll 😔

Mona feels lonely often but looking into her family’s actions more closely perhaps they aren’t ashamed of her after all 💙. But then again all of this could be wishful thinking…what they are just playing with her ? The fear that all his kindness is a joke for their amusement keeps Mona up often at night

Mona’s official character look : (thank you picrew for saving my ass) I’d draw her personally but my art style is garbage also my chemistry work is pending 😭

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[vivithefolle]

I just wanna ask, and don’t get mad at me cause I’m genuinely curious, how do you stan Ron? Like, I like him, but he is definitely misogynistic (slut shaming Ginny, treating hermione like she owes him something and being mad that she kissed someone years before, always objectifying Fleur, and acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much). Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it, but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO

how do you stan Ron? 

Like this:

OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM DID YOU SEE MY BABY OH MY GOD. WHEN HARRY’S ARM HAD GONE KABLOOIE BECAUSE OF LOCKHART AND HE. RON. HE WAS. HELPING HIM GET DRESSED???? OH MY GOD BABY???? HHHHNNNNGGGG. AND. AND. AND ALSO WHEN HE. OMG. WHEN HE WAS PUTTING FOOD ON HIS FRIENDS’ PLATES LIKE. MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT. AND THE WAY HE’S ALWAYS BLUSHING AND BEING EMBARRASSED AT THE SLIGHTEST PRAISE BUT ALSO HE’S SO DESPERATELY SEEKING IT BUT HE KNOWS HE CAN’T TAKE IT AND EEK EEK EEK THAT’S SO CUTE SOMEONE HOLD ME IT’S ADORABLE RONALD WEASLEY YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME IT’S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!

Ok and then.

he is definitely misogynistic 

No. And here’s why.

slut shaming Ginny 

Yes, that was wrong. And guess what, that’s also something he probably - scratch that, definitely - picked up from his mother. And also his brothers, recall how Fred and George too don’t like to see Ginny go around with boys. There’s also something to recall: Ron was there when Ginny was taken into the Chamber of Secrets and learned later that it was because she had trusted an older guy. You seriously wouldn’t be paranoid about who your sister dates after that? It was wrong. Yeah. And he more than learned his lesson when Ginny clapped back by virgin-shaming him and basically told him that he was childish because he hadn’t have a relationship yet. So would that make Ginny sexist too? Or is it just for Ron?

treating hermione like she owes him something 

..................... uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh... when? When the fuck did anything like that happen?

He made a prat of himself at the Yule Ball, that much is obvious. But he didn’t tell her anything like “you should be with me” or didn’t insinuate anything of the sort. He was a jealous bitch but kept attacking Krum, not Hermione.

If you mean in sixth year when he treated her with “icy, sneering indifference” for the course of two weeks, yeah that was bad but that’s not “treating her like she owes him something”, the fuck?

being mad that she kissed someone years before 

Yeah. I know. And that was bad, ooooh you got me to admit Ron did bad stuff, that’s what you want to see, right? And I reckon he was also mad that she hid it from him, and that he had to learn it from his sister of all people. We see Ron handles what he considers betrayals terribly. I have some meta discussing the possibility that he has a form of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

always objectifying Fleur 

Um... no, he doesn’t. He makes a stupid comment about her once in GOF then stops. Let’s also fucking remember that Fleur is a Veela, she literally makes guys stare at her as part of her powers!! I’m not blaming her because she’s literally born that way, but you can’t blame someone who is under magical compulsion either.

acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much 

So tell me why he was friends with Hermione then?

Because Hermione wasn’t Emma Watson the super hawt sexy model goddess. Hermione was Mrs Generic. Until this once at the Yule Ball when she got the pretty princess perfect Mary Sue makeover but then stopped because she had to remain ~relatable uwu~.

Again. Ron made stupid sexist comments. But it’s actively shown that he doesn’t follow up on them. If he did indeed live by the motto “girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much”, explain to me why he wasn’t simping and drooling all over Padma Patil who is explicitly stated to be one of the prettiest girls at school when she was his date? Why exactly did he ignore her and was a miserable twat the whole evening instead of basking in the joy of having snagging a girl that was “worth it”? Well surprise, it’s because HE ACTUALLY ISN’T LIKE THAT AND WHAT HE SAYS IS MAYBE SHIT HIS “COOL OLDER BROTHERS” SAY AND HE THINKS THAT BY EXTENSION IT WOULD MAKE HIM COOL TO REPEAT IT. MIMETISM, THAT'S BASIC FUCKING HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY FOR FUCKING TODDLERS MY FUCKING GOD.

Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it, 

............

...................................

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so. so why. so why wouldn’t you. use that. as a reason. to stan him.

like.

fuck all the “hurr durr ron weasley the boy who made it out of the friendzone!!!!” bullshit, let’s start going with “Ron Weasley, the Boy who became a Man, and not one of those 'uugghh im such an alpha male’ ones but one that’s got the balls to say ‘hey love, I’ve got an idea, what if you kept doing that job you love and feel passionate about while I support you and do the majority of the childcare while also working a smaller job on the side so we’re never short on money’“

Why you people gotta be “yeah I like Ron BUTT” when you know full-well this fucking awful fandom will rake him over hot coals over the slightest mistake he does - worse, will actively go out of their way to interpret his positive moments in the most negative way possible??? Fuck off with that bullshit. Ron dared to say bad stuff omygah big deal, he was forgiven for it all and you’re just all cowards looking to feel “pure” by telling yourself “oh yeah but he was problematic once uwu”. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.

but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO 

And IMO he’s not, funny how that works

So.

I guess it’s impossible to stan Ron because he was problematic uwu.

Ok.

Then I hereby decree that it’s impossible to stan Hermione Granger because:

“I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t given up Divination now, don’t you, Hermione?” asked Parvati, smirking. [...] “Not  really,”  said  Hermione  indifferently,  who  was  reading  the  Daily Prophet. “I’ve never really liked horses.” She turned a page of the newspaper, scanning its columns. “He’s not a horse, he’s a centaur!” said Lavender, sounding shocked. “A gorgeous centaur . . .” sighed Parvati. “Either  way,  he’s  still  got  four  legs,”  said  Hermione  coolly.  “Any-way, I thought you two were all upset that Trelawney had gone?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 27

wow casual use of a racial slur yay!!! A+

And it’s also forbidden to stan Harry Potter either since:

It was raining hard now, and she was nowhere to be seen. He simply did not understand what had happened; half an hour ago they had been getting along fine. “Women!”  he  muttered  angrily,  sloshing  down  the  rain-washed  street with his hands in his pockets. “What did she want to talk about Cedric  for  anyway?  Why  does  she  always want to drag up a subject that makes her act like a human hosepipe?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 25

and

“Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!”  “What’s  happened  to  you?”  asked  Harry,  for  Hermione  looked  distinctly  disheveled,  rather  as  though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil’s Snare.  “Oh,  I’ve  just  escaped  —  I  mean,  I’ve  just  left  Cormac,”  she  said.  “Under  the  mistletoe,”  she  added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her.  “Serves you right for coming with him,” he told her severely.  “I thought he’d annoy Ron most,” said Hermione dispassionately. “I debated for a while about Zacharias Smith, but I thought, on the whole —”  “You considered Smith?” said Harry, revoked. - Half-Blood Prince

Victim-blaming! Nice Harry, nice. Always classy.

Ok, Ginny stanning is already cancelled because she virgin-shamed Ron, right, so who’s left, who’s left... ah yeah:

“There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.” - Half-Blood Prince

Selling date rape drugs proudly ouh là là. Bye Fred.

"Do they work?” she asked.  “Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question...”  “...and the attractiveness of the girl,” said George, reappearing suddenly at their side. “But we’re not  selling  them  to  our  sister,”  he  added,  becoming  suddenly  stern,  “not  when  she’s  already  got  about five boys on the go from what we’ve...”  “Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie,” said Ginny calmly, leaning forward to take a small pink pot off the shelf.

Assuming that only girls use love potions, and only on boys. Men never rape in JKR’s world, only women do, you heard it from George Weasley here folks, I’m just passing on the message. Ah and I hope you’re also starting the Fred And George Hate Club given how he’s also slut-shaming Ginny.

“What’s this?”  “Guaranteed  ten-second  pimple  vanisher,”  said  Fred.  “Excellent  on  everything  from  boils  to  blackheads,  but  don’t  change  the  subject.  Are  you  or  are  you  not  currently  going  out  with  a  boy  called Dean Thomas?” “Yes, I am,” said Ginny. “And last time I looked, he was definitely one boy, not five. What are those?”  She  was  pointing  at  a  number  of  round  balls  of  fluff  in  shades  of  pink  and  purple,  all  rolling  around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks.  “Pygmy  Puffs,”  said  George.  “Miniature  puffskeins,  we  can’t  breed  them  fast  enough.  So  what  about Michael Corner?”  “I  dumped  him,  he  was  a  bad  loser,”  said  Ginny,  putting  a  finger  through  the  bars  of  the  cage  and watching the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it. “They’re really cute!”  “They’re  fairly  cuddly,  yes,”  conceded  Fred.  “But  you’re  moving  through  boyfriends  a  bit  fast,  aren’t you?”  Ginny turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. There was such a Mrs. Weasley-ish glare on her face that Harry was surprised Fred didn’t recoil.  “It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you” she added angrily to Ron, who had just appeared at George’s elbow, laden with merchandise, “not to tell tales about me to these two!”

Ah, good on you for defending yourself, Ginny, but remember, Ginny stanning is prohibited because she’s been problematic in the past and is gonna be problematic in the future and that’s baaaaaaad. Careful kids, don’t get ideas. It’s problematic to like people who’ve done problematic things.

So I guess nobody can like anything or anyone now. Sorry guys. Liking things is evil, what if the thing you liked had, OR USED TO HAVE, *gasp* flaws, can’t take that risk, ohmygah.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[fanficsandfluff]

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana. 

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together. 

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT. 

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him. 

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here 

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) 

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so. 

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill. 

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself. 

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning. 

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color. 

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo 

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater. 

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other. 

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish. 

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh. 

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell. 

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it. 

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him. 

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening. 

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

[dreamologisth2o]

My Thoughts on c!DreamXD

So Ruby’s recent analysis on the different interpretations of c!Dream has me thinking about my own interpretation of c!DreamXD because I feel like it’s fairly different from other people’s.

To start out with, most of what I’ve seen aren’t actually analysis posts. The one off character from 3-4 wacky streams doesn’t have much analysis going on for him, who would’ve guessed? But based on a lot of art and headcanon posts I’ve seen around the c!Dream apologists circle most people believe him to be either full on ancient eldritch god or someone who seeks acceptance through any means necessary and is similar to c!Slime, who’s easily manipulated. Everyone agrees he’s a c!George simp.

Outside the c!Dream apologist circles, of which I have not seen many of and mostly heard second hand, people believe he’s manipulated and cursed c!George into an everlasting contract of being his friend, and that the actions he takes during c!George’s dream are done out of malice and not ignorance.

From here on out I’m only ever referring to the characters and not the content creators unless specified.

First things first: DreamXD has agency. He has things he’s ok with and things he’s not ok with. He has boundaries and he sets those boundaries and when someone infringes upon them he’s not afraid of pushing back or punishing them for said infringement. Yes, George eventually convinced DreamXD to give him netherite armor in exchange for his friendship at the end of his stream. No, DreamXD did not immediately give into George’s demands. In fact he argues against it, multiple times. Constantly pointing out how George only wanted him around for “stuff” and refusing until it seemed to be the only thing he could do that would convince George to stay. That’s nothing like Slime, who pretty much does whatever anyone else asks him to do. 

The way I’ve seen people treat Slime is very similar to the way they treat DreamXD, and that’s not surprising, because both are characters who don’t know much about how humans act and how they work nor how to fit into “human society”. BUT the big difference between the two is that DreamXD has agency while Slime does not. I don’t know if it’s because of their apparent age or because of their origins, but just because DreamXD doesn’t know how “normal human society” works doesn’t mean he has the mentality of a toddler or a new born baby. He’s ignorant, not naïve. He knows when he’s being used and he knows it’s not something he likes.

I also do not believe he is controlled by the book. Quite frankly that entire scene to me felt more like DreamXD sensed a disturbance and much like when Techno and Phil started messing with the portal room, had simply gone and investigated. He was not required to grant them a wish, it was Techno who asked if he could, which he then offered them one. When they try to summon him again, he doesn’t show up, further proof that the book, while having caught his interest, doesn’t actually have any real hold/power over him. Also, he sounded kinda annoyed in the chat log, speaking in short sentences and single word answers.

Another example of DreamXD refusing to be used for items is when Foolish foolishly (haha) asks him for another shulker box. To which he retaliates by summoning lighting on him, multiple times, until Foolish takes back his request.

That said, DeramXD is perfectly fine with giving things away if it’s of his own volition and not because someone demands it of him. When Techno asks if he grants wishes, DreamXD offers them 1 when he could’ve just said no. When Foolish and Bad are having another territory dispute, DreamXD comes by and places heads of the various server members for them. He’s also given George diamonds of his own volition before as well. He’s not opposed to doing things for someone or giving them stuff, it’s only when people try to use him for things (cough cough George) does he get defensive and upset.

Second: DreamXD is not inherently malicious. When he does something bad, he doesn’t do it to be mean or to hurt them. He does it because he thinks it’d be funny, get a laugh out of George, or because he doesn’t recognize that sending someone to hell and back isn’t nice. (it was pretty funny though XD)

What he considers “good” or “bad” or acceptable is very different from “normal” and so most of his actions are born from ignorance of what “normal” is, ignorance he tries to correct by learning from George, the one person he’s been seen talking to outside chat. Which, George isn’t a good teacher, at all, but I’m not here to talk about that.

And more recently, when we see him cause mild chaos with Bad and Foolish, he ultimately leaves things back to the way he found them in. Returning L’Sandburg back to where it was, teleporting Foolish out of the void, showering both Bad and Foolish in EXP bottles to heal their armor and giving them some extra food to help them recover health after smiting them a few dozen times. (he also placed water on the TNT Skeppy lights in Foolish’s summer home at the same time as Bad, to prevent the explosion from blowing the place up.)

Third: There is a non-zero chance that DeramXD is whatever it is the dreamon hunters split from Dream during that first dreamon hunter stream, and not an ancient all powerful god of the server. (Though the members of the server certainly believe him to be which is what I personally believe led to DreamXD calling himself “god”. Because everyone else calls him that) If he’s a god, which considering his abilities he can certainly be counted as one, then he isn’t old, and is in fact quite new.

DreamXD explicitly states "I’m not Dream! ...I... am not Dream, sort of. I’m a part of him.” (Which means Dream came first!) He has also mentioned having been hunted at one point in the past (either as Dream during manhunts or because of the dreamon hunters, we don’t know), and has spoken in Dream’s voice once before switching back and saying “mm, he’s gone.”

Lastly: and, again this is just my personal thoughts on DreamXD and something I find interesting/funny about the fandom’s response but. George and Techno both say DreamXD looks like Dream. Foolish has mistaken Dream’s head for DreamXD before. By all means and canon evidence, DreamXD should look basically identical to Dream. Does this stop the fandom from going wild with his design? Nope. In fact, it’s so wild I have a hard time believing that this 23ft tall eldritch abomination with too many eyes, multiple floating hands, rings of halos around his (usually just an orb) head, twenty pairs of wings and long flowing robes looks anything like this scruffy, homeless, teletubby in a mask. Much less close enough that George keeps accidentally or on purpose mistaking him for Dream.

Like, all these designs are amazing and super duper cool looking and extraordinarily creative but it’s not accurate to canon at all and the spiderman meme makes much less sense when neither of the “spidermen” looks anything like the other. (Unless of course, everyone on the dsmp is mask blind and think anyone with a white mask looks like Dream because they can’t see past that and--)

ANYWAYS, this concludes some of my thoughts on DreamXD. I certainly have more but this has gotten long and kinda rambly. If you’ve gotten this far, then thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

[lawslessons]

Hey! LOVE your writing a lot, have been going back to back on them! I'm also a Law simp, but for once something funny with him would be nice to see. What about reader getting a checkup from Law, Law pointing out some minor sickness reader doesn't know about and requires a shot. reader gets nervous about the thought of a needle in them, so spends time running away from law in the submarine, hiding in places, using bepo as hiding place, etc until law gets tired and just uses his powers on them?

Ah! This is so cute! This was one of my favorite pieces to write and I really hope you enjoy this, my dear!

Law x Reader - Shot in the Heart

Warnings: Mentions of shots, medical paraphernalia 

Synopsis: Needles, why did that have to be the treatment they needed? Scared of their doctor and the needle he was holding, they began a long and humorous journey around the ship all in an attempt to evade the frustrated doctor.

“You should’ve come to me sooner when you weren’t feeling well, you have a high fever now,” Law scolded as he went about doing the rest of his checkup. He looked at their vitals and found that mostly everything seemed normal. Blood pressure? Good. Reflexes? Superb. But something that worried the stressed doctor seemed to be the high fever, rashes and sore throat they had. “Did you happen to swim in that place I told you not to swim back at the last island?” Law asked. They sheepishly smiled and Law got his answer from that, of course they wouldn’t listen to him. He sighed in frustration and pulled back from them. “Thanks to that, you were infected with cyanobacteria from the algae blooms that were in that water,” Law scolded.

Cyano… what?

They looked at him and frowned, their throat hurt from the infection so their voice was a little raspy and scratchy.

“It can’t be that bad, it was just water,” they tried to assure him, but the look on Law’s face implied that no matter what they said, Law would be frustrated. Law sighed and rubbed his temples in his aggravation, no one seemed to ever listen to him. But they couldn’t really blame him, they did go against Law’s medical advice after all.

“Poisoned water, human immune systems can’t handle that level of bacteria. Now, if you don’t want to go into kidney or liver failure, I need to give you a shot that will help your immune system fight the bacteria,” Law explained as he turned away from them and moved to look at his vials of medication to get the syringe prepared for them. They tensed when the shot was brought up, while they were capable of fighting navy soldiers and holding up their own against their captain, the one thing they seemed to always get petrified of was shots. Those thin, pointed needles pressing into their skin was a horrifying thought. The pain and the uncomfortable feeling of something being injected into their veins and then spreading across their body? Even worse. They started to breathe a little faster, their heart sped up and their hands became sweaty the more they thought about it. They looked at Law and noticed how he was focusing on getting the measurements right for the treatment, but they didn’t want to watch. Taking advantage of the captain’s focus, they slowly stood up and began to back out of the room. When they reached the door, they slowly opened it before they darted out and went to run away from the room they were previously in.

“Sorry, can’t talk now! Don’t tell Law where I’m going!” They yelled at their fellow cremates as they darted into the strange room and looked around at all of the crates. They finally decided on one in the back and moved to sit behind it and make themselves comfortable for now. They hoped that this would be enough to get the doctor’s attention off of them, but of course it wouldn’t be. From the hallway outside, he could hear a frustrated voice and some terrified shouting.

“T-they went in there!” Someone squeaked, they could even hear their knees shaking together from outside of the room. Law must really be mad to scare a subordinate like that. The door to the storage room opened a second later and footsteps resonated around the room.

“I know you���re in here, come out,” Law stated as he stared right into the corner they were hiding in. Their breath hitched in their throat as they looked back at Law. Just as they felt like they were making eye contact, Law looked away and sighed. “Guess you’re not here,” he said as he walked out. But they knew that Law knew they were there, what was he trying to do right now? They curiously peeked their head out of the corner and were met with Law’s piercing gray eyes. But he didn’t make any move to grab them, instead he just continued on his walk out of the room. Still frightful, they carefully peeled themselves away from the box and crept out of the room and into the dim hallway of the submarine. They looked both ways and saw some of their fellow cremates looking at them fearfully, but they didn’t blame them, after all, they were being pulled into this mess because of them. Sighing, they started to look for another hiding spot on the ship, and it seemed that their next refuge would be with Bepo, the ship’s resident bear. The bear looked over at them in surprise when they suddenly latched onto him. He panicked and tried to pry them away with no avail.

“W-what are you doing?” The poor bear sputtered out.

“I need you to do me a favor and help hide me,” They tiredly mumbled, the bear’s warm fur was slowly lulling them to sleep. Bepo looked surprised but didn’t object the task.

“From who?” He asked.

“Law.”

“What?! No! I can’t do that!”

“Come on, Bepo, for me?” They asked with a small pout on their face. Bepo looked down at them and sighed, he had a hard time saying no to people, and his weak will made it that much easier.

“…ok,” He reluctantly said. They grinned and hugged the bear even tighter.

“Yay! Thank you, Bepo!” They chirped. With that, they and the accomplice Bepo went to venture out to find a hiding spot where Law wouldn’t find them. Not being so bright, they both decided that the most predictable place would be the place he would least expect, and that place happened to be the cafeteria. Bepo sat near a corner and they sat right behind him to stay hidden.

“Will this work?” Bepo asked as he started to chew on his soft paws.

“It has to, Law won’t expect this coming,” They confidently stated. Just as they finished speaking, the door opened to reveal their tall captain. His gaze was even more piercing now, he had a stopwatch in his hand and continued to look up from it as he walked around the perimeter of the cafeteria.

“Bepo.” Law began as he approached the bear. Bepo began to sweat and looked up at his captain with a fearful expression which confused the captain, but instead of asking what was wrong, he instead went to state his purpose of being there. “Have you seen them anywhere? I need to give them their shot, it’s getting urgent. They’ll soon go into septic shock if I don’t administer it soon,” he explained as he held up his hand which held a rather large, intimidating syringe in it. Bepo and them both let out a small squeak in surprise but Bepo was quick to cover for them.

“I-I haven’t seen them at all, sir. Maybe they’re somewhere not obvious?” Bepo blurted out. Law rose a brow and they smacked their forehead, of course Bepo was beginning to break.

“Bepo.” Law’s brows furrowed and his eye’s became even sharper, the poor bear began to shake and leaned back against the wall leading to him accidentally smothering his friend. “Are you not telling me something?” Law asked.

“No! Wait, yes, I mean no!” Bepo sputtered out, that only encouraged Law to stare him down even more. “They’re not behind me!” He finally squeaked. Law rolled his eyes and glanced behind the bear and saw that they were being crushed behind the weight of Bepo.

“You can’t hide anymore, I know where you are,” Law stated as he tried to pull them out with his hand.

“No! No! You don’t!” They quickly said. They stood up when Law pulled them, but they were quick to break free and make a run for the door. Law scowled and lifted his hand up.

“Room!” He yelled, he enveloped the cafeteria in a light blue light. “Shambles!” He then said. They gasped and looked around them, they felt this strange coldness on their side, and when they looked over, they noticed that their arm wasn’t attached to their side. Their vision began to dance and slowly became black at the gruesome sight. When they looked at Law, they noticed him pulling out the syringe and quickly and painlessly injecting the medication into their arm. They were stunned, they didn’t know how to react other than pointing over at Law and the arm he was holding.

“T-that’s my — “

“Shambles,” Law said again as he got their arm reattached, he removed the room and scowled down at them. “That was dangerous, that infection could kill you, and on top of that you were running around the ship too?” He was fuming, and they couldn’t help but feel a little bad.

“I’m sorry, I don’t like shots and the syringe you’re holding has a massive needle,” they pointed out, Law was still holding the syringe and didn’t look impressed.

“And I don’t like seeing you infected with algae bloom bacteria. Now go to your room and rest,” Law grumbled as he went to walk back to his office. They watched him walk away and softly smiled, they were already starting to feel better thanks to him.

“Law?” They softly mumbled. “Thank you,” they grinned. Law paused and looked over his shoulder, his cheeks turned a soft pink as he watched them smile. He looked away and huffed.

“Yeah, whatever.” He said as he left the cafeteria before they saw his blush. But oh, they did see it. They smirked and went to walk after the doctor.

“Law? I know where you are!” they teased before another pursuit began. 

[hypnomicimagines]

That fluff alphabet really is super cute, wow. If you're feeling up to it, could I request G, K, M, R and Z for Gentaro or Samatoki? (Whoever has the least requests the moment you decide to take this one on, please. I simp hard for both and cant make up my mind)

Aohitsugi Samatoki: 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?): 

Samatoki is gentle in his own way but overall, you don’t think the word really suits him. He’s more rough around the edges when it comes to love and he can be very direct when he wants to be, even if he also skates around certain topics as he fears what the outcome might be (he’s no pushover but he’s not rushing to lose you either). He handles you and your heart with far more care than you ever suspected though, knowing his gentle side mostly comes out when he’s putting the effort into being romantic. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?): 

The emotional weight and intensity that are in each one of Samatoki’s kisses leave you always feeling satisfied if not a bit exhausted, putting forth all your effort into the more passionate ones as you don’t want to disappoint. It also almost always leads to more if you want it to and Samatoki is always raring to go even if you’re in his office or out in public together. He at least has the tact to kiss you chastly when you’re around others and in crowded public spaces but you can always tell by how he lingers that he hungers for more. 

Samatoki did without a hint of hesitation. He knew he wanted this more than anything and you’d be showing the same signs, staring at his lips all night and flirting so hard he wondered how he hadn’t realized you had feelings for him before. It’s so incredibly surreal to finally be kissing someone he loved, someone he had been pining over for months, and he’s almost afraid to blink in case it all dissolves away before his very eyes. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?): 

The time you spent an entire day inside a thrift store slowly carding through each and every item to find a totally new wardrobe. You seemed more excited than him when you found the store that was practically a warehouse, excitedly jabbering on about all the hidden gems that might be there. He couldn’t say he was extremely interested in finding some of these ‘hidden gems’ and thus started the journey of finding interesting new articles of clothing, finding stuff for Rio and Jyuto too (which you wanted to get for them more than him). You even walked out with matching hawaiian style shirts and you were so happy Samatoki knew he’d wear the ugly thing out in public just to see you smile. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?): 

Samatoki always gets bored and restless on rainy days, finding them to be tedious to deal with as it’s not as though he still doesn’t have to work in the rain. On days he doesn’t feel like going in and just stays at home he tends to cook just due to pure boredom, enlisting you in these activities and making you taste test new things he wants to try out for dinner. You always have a good time when Samatoki throws on the old cooking apron and you admire him from kitchen table as he cooks, trying to hold back all the househusband jokes brewing in your head. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?): 

Samatoki isn’t really a pet person and he thinks his ideal pet would be something like a snake or a lizard of some sort. The only thing stopping him from getting one is his hatred of bugs but if he found a way around having to handle the squishy bundles of protein for his pet he’d buy one in a heartbeat. Dogs are too high maintenance but cats are lowkey enough that he’d consider them, too. He thinks owning a bird would be funny considering how much Jyuto detests them and would threaten to have it in the front entrance of his office for days he doesn’t want to be bothered by the cop. 

Yumeno Gentaro: 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?):

Gentaro exudes gentleness and you’ll find that when romantically involved with him, things generally remain light-hearted. He doesn’t like to force situations and he’s the ‘sit back and see what happens’ type of person, approaching romance in a rather relaxed way that said there’d be no hard feelings if things didn’t work out. It can be to the point you don’t know how seriously he takes the relationship but heavy emotions wear Gentaro out, it’s why he lies so much because honesty is more exhausting but if you’re worth his time, you’ll get to see this side of him. 

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?):

Gentaro’s kisses are gentle in nature, starting off with him pressing his nose against yours and asking in a soft tone if you’d like him to kiss you. When you agree he briefly gives you exactly what you want but pulls away to tease, saying if you want more from him than you’d have to come get it. He’s almost always playful when he kisses you and he always manages to lift your spirits with his kisses; he seems surprised and flustered to hear you admit that but happy kissing you isn’t just self-serving (as his mood is always improved by you giving him a smooch too). 

It was a real 50/50 decision, the two of you having to work together to achieve it in the long run. Gentaro liked to sit back, watch, and wait to see what you’d do, never acting even when you got so close to him you could feel his breath on your skin. It was almost annoying how he managed to hold out and keep it together while you were stumbling over yourself but when you finally tell him to kiss you he does so without complaint. He ends up stuttering afterwards which shows he’s not quite as together as he’d like you to think and you’re pleased that he’s now embarrassed after an entire night of leaving you guessing. 

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?):

Gentaro’s favorite memory was when the two of you were sitting on a bench in the park, holding hands as the sun set while chattering about this or that. There had been a few storytelling sessions where he’d seen how quick you were on the draw when he asked you about random passerby, a lot of laughs shared at the absolutely nonsensical stories of vampires and monsters that you came up with. He said you had a mind that rivaled his and that he’d gladly collaborate with you on a novel some day. 

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?):

Rainy days are never boring with Gentaro as he can come up with a story for just about anything, though he’s sad he can’t people watch as he normally does. He’ll bury his nose in a book while sitting curled up on the couch under a thick warm blanket (you want to joke he looks like a very comfortable grandma but you don’t know if he’ll take it well) and if he’s not reading, he’s likely trying to write something using the rain as a type of white noise to help him concentrate. 

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?):

Gentaro would love an elderly cat who just wants to live out its final years in peace, having it sit on his lap and tending to its needs. He loves cooing at the fluff ball and only gives it the best care, brushing its hair and humming happily to himself as he realizes, without caring, that he’s become a crazy cat man. He just enjoys the calmness an older cat brings with it and the lack of destruction to his house, amused that Dice doesn’t seem to trust it (nor does his cat trust Dice until he brings a can of tuna as an offering). 

[bakugous-bbygirl]

~Social media boyfriend~

Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader

There needs to be more quarantine stories. Like come onnn we’re all stuck together anyway. That’s why I’m doing the public justice of giving us more fan fiction that’s current to the times. Please enjoy!

Warning: swearing. That’s it really.

Being stuck at home was really getting to everyone and it was pretty clear. From almost finishing your second year to having to do your third year at home. You didn’t even want to know how your hero course was gonna go. But now everyone is online all the time posting things they never would have if they got to go outside more.

You of course followed almost all your classmates on social media. Mostly twitter and Instagram, everything else was a little too much. You had your fair share of classmate followers so your posts were mostly pictures of everyone hanging out or weird selfies you took while half awake.

After reading one too many fanfics you opened Twitter to see a certain profile you liked scrolling through.

You have no clue why Bakugou had followed you one day but you figured it’s the poilte thing to follow back. After scrolling for an hour though you had pretty much summed up all of his account into a few words

Self centered music guy.

A lot of his tweets were just pictures of himself flexing in his mirror or screenshots of whatever his playlist consisted of with aggressive captions telling people to fuck off or listen to the song. Those pictures of his arms though. Ahh those hit differently.

You had a crush on the blonde since you started your first year however you didn’t think it shift into you calling him your online boyfriend and making constant tweets about him.

Nothing super obvious just the simple like “why can’t he love me back” or “when he learns I’m real it’s a wrap.” And on Instagram if it’s a cute photo of yourself your caption would consist of something like: “once my online boyfriend learns I’m desperate maybe we could cuddle” you know nothing weird or anything.

After scrolling through his twitter you found a old tweet that actually made you laugh. Like it was something actually funny. You figured kiri got ahold of his phone and posted it before Bakugou blew him up. It was a picture of Bakugou on his floor fixing his Grenade bracers with the tweet “he looks so cute all focused!”

You accidentally tapped the like button and didn’t even realize how weird that would’ve looked as you swiped out of the app. You went to your messages to text Mina since she always kept you busy durning these lonely days. “Hey crackhead you up yet? It’s almost 3 in the afternoon”

she replied pretty quick asking how you were and if you wanted her to FaceTime you. And who were you to turn down a chance to talk to your best friend?

After answering the call mina’s goofy pink face appeared on your screen while it looked like she was laying on her couch. “Hello!!” “Hey Mina.” You couldn’t help at smile how bubbly she is while talking to you. You figured her extroverted personality was put through the ringer being forced to stay at home. “Soooo how have you been? I see your keeping your social media pretty up to date with your creepy obsession with your online boyfriend?” You hold up your middle finger as you see her laugh “it’s not creepy. It’s the same as liking a famous person. You guys just don’t get to know who he is.” “Ooooo so he’s famous? That makes it totally normal.” You rubbed at your neck moving the phone from your face so she can’t see the Blush. “Well, kinda, not really, sorta..” you then noticed your phone vibrating that you got a new notification. “Oh hold up, I wanna check this.” “Oh no just ignore me as I try to find out who it is you love so much. I would really like to know someday” you waved her off with your hand going to your home screen, “you will one day. Hush up now.” You scrolled to the top of your screen to see your notifications and saw it was from twitter and it was someone wanted to message you, you played it off as Mina or one of your friends wanted to mess with you about a tweet you made early in the day or something. “What’s the point of messaging me when we’re on the phone?” You went back to the call to see Mina tilting her head like a bird “what do you mean? I didn’t message you?” “Oh, I figured it was you sending me something stupid on twitter. Lemme see who it is then.”

You opened twitter while half way listening to whatever story Mina felt like telling at that moment and noticed the message was actually Bakugou saying “what the fuck” “Oh it’s just Bakugou. Weird he normally doesn’t send me anything” you opened the message just as Mina said “maybe it’s him telling you what you tweeted was dumb or pointless? That’s normally what he does to me.” You laughed and saw he had sent a screenshot of a notification he got from you like a tweet from legit a year ago. You almost died. “Ahhhhhhh shit I gotta go minathanksforcallingbye!” And flat out hung up in her face. You couldn’t believe you were dumb enough to like the tweet. Why didn’t you notice? God you were stupid.

And what’s even worse you already opened the message and he could see you already read it so In a panick you just typed out some half ass reply acting as if you were confused “what? I didn’t do anything to you” you then texted Mina explaining how weird he probably thinks you are. “sooo Bakugou is mystery your online boyfriend and you got caught totally creepin?” You face turned red as you replied “I never said he was my crush!” “you posted on Instagram yesterday that sometimes you scroll through his account and read his old tweets. Get busted y/n.” You threw you phone away from you on the table and layed Your head into your pillows.

You were so caught. Almost all your tweets and posts from the last few months were you thirsting over this boy and showing how lonely you are durning this quarantine. You wouldn’t be so embarrassed if it was someone you were closer too, Like kirishima or denki. The fact Bakugou barely spoke with you durning your time in classes made it feel even weirder. How could you be so dumb to forget your one rule of being a simp. No liking old posts or tweets. Just saving the photo depending on what it is. That rule just got tossed out the window as you pushed your face tighter into the pillow. No way was he gotta think your cute or whatever after this.

The sound of your phone going off got your attention and you reached for it slightly hoping it was Mina with a way to get you out of this. However it was the dreaded online boyfriend messaging you again. “Don’t play dumber than you are dumbass. The fuck is with you liking my old tweets” You really didn’t have the best response so you came up with the best you could. “Mina had my phone. Sorry she was being weird.”

That was so dumb. You both knew good and well that no one was allowed to be around each other since this whole virus came out. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could shut up.

“Try again.” Was all he replied with but you could hear the smug in his voice. Like no way was he gonna not call you out for this. The only times he did speak to you was when he was being an ass and making fun of you. Or when he grabbed your hips and moved you out of his way. You always loved that because his hands trapped your figure so perfectly but decided it was better to keep that to yourself. You were fully ready to admit defeat. There were no more lies you could come up with on the spot. “alright look, I’m sorry if it’s weird. Honest mistake.” This was your last shot to keep your dignity after such a embarrassing day.

It actually took him a while to reply. You figured he was too busy to entertain your contuinus lies until you got a notification from Instagram saying Ground_Zer0 liked your post. You opened the app to see he liked the picture where your caption was you basically admitted you scrolled through his old tweets because he was your online boyfriend. Before your brain could kick you for posting that bold statement in the first place you got two more messages from him. He had screenshotted the picture and caption. “So gonna keep lying like I don’t follow your accounts” Yep. Mina was so right. You were busted. Nothing much was left to be said. You were caught simping on one of your classmates who was aiming to be the number one hero. Just great.

“You gonna reply or what dumbass” Here goes everything. No reason to keep your lies, nothing much to lose.

“Alright so yeah I’ve liked you for a while now, I don’t know what about you makes me like you so much but I always found you really cool. Your so passionate about wanting to do good it’s almost silly how mean you are to everyone. Your not all that ugly either so that helps or whatever.” You confidence found half way through texting him. Not like he could make fun of you to all your friends and school. He doesn’t seem like the guy. Right?

“Oh.” Oh. That’s all he has to say. What the shit. What type of reply is that! Here you are pouring your heart out and that’s all he says back! This was kinda worse than him laughing! You barely got a reaction at all! “So how long have you liked Me” you took a second to think of the least creepy answer, “I mean since the beginning of our second year, why?”

It wasn’t a whole lie. Like since you had liked him the beginning of last year too. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your emotions were clearly a wreck. From anger to slight confusion and embarrassment. What if he used this against you for real? Like you could never live down how much you really thought about him and wanted to be around him. It was pretty clear since you layed eyes on him you really cared about him.

“Well, I’ve liked you longer so I guess it’s my job to ask your dumbass out”

“Wanna be my girlfriend you weird stalker?”

You legit couldn’t believe it. You rubbed at your eyes for a good five minutes. Was he being serious? Was it a joke? You couldn’t think straight your head was so fuzzy “OI DONT LEAVE ME ON READ DUMBASS!” “If this is a way to make fun of me it isn’t very funny Bakugou.”

It seriously wasn’t funny. You knew for a while he felt nothing back for you, he never liked any of your posts or made much of an effort to even talk to you when you guys did attend school. He was clearly better friends with Mina since she even got messages from him, even if they were insults you would’ve taken what you could get. No way were you setting yourself up any more to get laughed at.

At that moment you got a FaceTime call from a number you didn’t have saved. You had no clue who it was. Against your better judgement you answered figuring that telemarketers don’t make FaceTime calls. What you got was a grumpy looking Bakugou staring at his screen. You could feel his eyes staring through you. You wanted to throw your phone so far it wasn’t even a joke. “Bout time dumbass.” He was layed out on his bed with a black wife beater hanging loosely on his body. You could tell he hasn’t moved from the bed in a while since the sheets and blankets were slightly messed up. “Now tell me. You see anyone else in my fucking room?” You shook your head in a confused manner, what was that question for? “Okay then. So it’s clear this isn’t a fucking joke. I like your dumb ass. Now will you please be my real girlfriend?” You stared at his face for any sort of sign it was still a joke.

But all you got was Bakugou blushing. Wait blushing? Seriously. That’s screenshot worthy. “I..well..w-wait we can’t even see each other?” You heard him grunt as a smirk appeared on his lips “if that’s your way of saying yes ain’t no stupid virus keeping me from kissing you like I’ve wanted to forever now.” “N-no way! You’ll get in trouble! Or sick!” Your face filled with heat as his words flowed so confidently. Like he knew all this time this is everything he’s ever wanted to say to you. “Did you not hear me? No virus is keeping me from you or getting me sick. Just let me say your mine stupid! I won’t fucking ask again.” “Y-yeah! O-okay I’ll be your girlfriend!” Another smirk tugged at his lips. “Damn straight. Alright get ready I’ll be there soon.” After that he hung up.

“Wait what?! Don’t come! Hello? Ah shit.” You still couldn’t really believe that all this really happened. You just got a boyfriend. After accidentally liking his post. From a year ago. Wow. What luck! You opened Instagram to congratulate yourself by posting the screenshot you had snagged but saw that a certain someone had posted a screenshot of you looking all confused durning a FaceTime call.

The ass screenshotted you looking confused after he asked you if anyone else was in his room. You looked at the caption and it absolutely made you turn red

“Thanks for giving me her number pinky.”

P1nky commented “anytime! Get you some!”

You hate your friends. You do love them. But you seriously can’t stand them.

Thank you all for reading so much! Also thank you for the 100 followers! I appciate it a lot and it gives me more reason to keep writing!