#most well adjusted NG couple... Only well adjusted NG couple...

[unusualsims]

Happy Valentine's Day <3

[thera-daydreams]

KABILANG BUHAY

× A TRESE ONESHOT ×

[Crispin x Ghost!Reader]

📝 Summary: Your demigod husband remembers you—everything about you—and how much he absolutely loved you. He remembers everything, including the memory that hurt the most.

📌 Warning: Contains fluff, angst, character death, and mentions of violence (because an angry Crispin being the son of a wargod is bound to shed some blood somewhere). Masakit po talaga 'tong songfic na 'to, trust me. If you don't want to get hurt, scroll awaaaay. Pero if you want maximum 1000% ultra heavy pain, then listen to the song below on repeat while reading, too.

Song: Kabilang Buhay by Bandang Lapis

(word count: 5,642)

"Masasayang mga araw na kasama kita."

Warm. Crispin always remembered you to be so warm—every single part of you. The heat of your skin against his whenever he held you, that whimsical sparkle in your eyes whenever you saw the little joys in life, that sprightly curve of your lips whenever you two teased each other, and the radiance he saw from you whenever you were around the people you loved.

In his eyes, there was always a halo around your head or a beam of light following you around. Perhaps he was biased; perhaps he saw you through rose-tinted glasses, but it didn't matter to him. To the demigod, you were everything he ever wanted.

You were the one.

You were also one of the sweetest people he'd ever met. Every morning without a fail, there would always be a hot cup of kape and a plate of pandesal on the table—not only for him, but for everyone else in your little family, too. Alexandra, Hank, and of course, his younger brother Basilio. Even before you became his girlfriend, you'd treated them as your own loved ones.

That was the day he knew you were truly the one for him. The one who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The one he wanted to build a home with. The woman he wanted to marry and have children with, if you were okay with it (when that conversation came, you said you would be happy and honored to be his wife).

Crispin said it was the other way around. It was he who was fortunate and honored to be your husband. You'd laughed in response, kissing his cheek. There were no fancy rings or a formal, elaborate proposal involved, but that day—he remembered clearly that you had that conversation on a chilly December 1st, 9:24PM, right before you two went to bed—was an unspoken promise.

You two would be inseparable and together 'til death do you part.

Going back to that coffee and bread, he always wondered how you managed to keep it so fresh (you said it was a secret, but later on you spilled the beans to him after him pestering you). Even if he woke up at noon because of missions with his bossing and his brother, palaging mainit ang kape at pandesal. You must have had some sort of superpower you weren't telling him (you rolled your eyes, telling him that superpower came in the form of a microwave).

"Paglalambing at kulit mo na hindi nakakasawa."

He was by no means clingy or touch-starved, but whenever he was around you, he had the need to at least hold you in any way. Sometimes, it was the usual PDA (Basilio and Maliksi teased him about it, but he didn't care if it meant having some sort of contact with you; Alexandra just let it be because she knew how much you two loved each other). In public, you guys toned it down—settling with holding hands or you just linking your arm through his. If he was driving the car, his hand would either be innocently resting on your thigh or your hand which was on your lap. If you were the one driving the car, then it would be your hand on his thigh or his hand. He loved to draw circles on your skin whenever he was daydreaming or starting to doze off, too.

You as a couple often expressed your love for each other in different ways, and not just by saying it out loud. One thing Crispin adored the most about your relationship was the way you voicelessly said "I love you". If it wasn't clear enough that acts of service was one of your love languages, then he could understand that you loved him back through three taps.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

At first, he had no clue what it meant. You just kept doing it whenever you were near him, on whatever body part you could touch. If he was driving? Tap, tap, tap on his thigh. If he was the one cooking? You'd hug him from behind and then one of your fingers would go tap, tap, tap on his waist. If you were eating together? You'd take his palm then just... tap, tap, tap while chewing on whatever food it was you had in your mouth.

He recalled that afternoon you guys were eating at a simple Japanese place. While you slurped up some of the wheat noodles and the savory soup, you were excitedly doing a little happy dance as you ate—the one you did whenever you ate something you found yummy. Frankly, Crispin found it endearing. He, too, was guzzling down some of the ramen when you reached out for his hand then laid it on the table palm up.

With a mischievous smile and your puffed up cheeks looking like a chipmunk from the noodles you'd gobbled up, you gently tapped his palm with your index finger, that same glint in your eye whenever you did that gesture.

"... Anong ginagawa mo, mahal?" Crispin chuckled, a brow raised. He found it cute but he had no idea what it was supposed to stand for.

"Wala lang," you mysteriously answered in a muffled voice, swallowing.

"You know, you shouldn't talk when your mouth is full," he pointed out, amused. You snorted, gulping.

"Not my fault you asked a question, Crispin," you retorted, shoving in another bite of noodley goodness with your chopsticks. You did a mini-wiggle when the umami flavor exploded on your tongue (the ramen was bussin', bestie). Ratatouille would be impressed!

"But seriously, what does the tap stand for?" your boyfriend wondered. You did it again. Tap, tap, tap.

"Isn't it obvious?" you smiled. He then sweat-dropped.

"Wait, keep smiling," Crispin leaned over the table, removing a tiny bit of the dahon sibuyas stuck on one of your front teeth with his nail. He then popped that finger into his mouth, making you blink at the action.

"Ay, may naiwan pala. Hehehehehe." With how long you two have been dating, you were no longer embarrassed if you did get anything stuck in your teeth and he had to get it out (it's happened in more occasions than you could count). You did the same to him (and trust me, you were way past the stage of getting grossed out from the gross habits couples did). At least you two were a hundred percent comfortable and open to one another, right? Sanaol.

Crispin nodded, going back to eating his noodles, "Okay, back to the topic. What does this—" He tapped your palm the same way you did. "—even mean?"

Your grin just grew wider then you whispered into his ear, "I love you."

"... I love you, too," he answered automatically, still not understanding. "But what do the taps mean? You keep doing it and—"

You did it again on his hand.

"I." Tap.

"Love." Tap.

"You." Tap.

At long last, that look of realization came upon his features, "... Aaaaaaaaah."

You chuckled, all brightness and merriness from your revelation to the man you loved. "Gets mo na, mahal?"

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Oo, mahal. Hehe."

"... Can we order another bowl of ramen? Please?" With those puppy-dog eyes? Crispin could never resist. He'd rip the world apart for you and build it back up from scratch if you wanted him to.

That was how deep his love was for you. Kapag nagmamahal ang isang diyos, walang imposible... 'di ba?

He was already raising a hand to call for a waiter, "Sure. Basta maubos mo."

"... And if half lang maubos ko?"

He sighed, "... Edi ako kakain sa anong maiiwan." What was the saying whenever you found your soulmate? Oh, yes.

True love is getting fat together.

Maybe it was true for both of you.

When you two exited the ramen place, you patted your bloated tummy. "Haaaay, busog na busog si food baby," you sighed in happiness, adjusting the the top of your high-waisted skirt to loosen it up for more space. You elbowed him slightly, wiggling your eyebrows at him and mimicking Kylie Jenner, "Soooo, I'm thirty-four weeks today."

"'Luh, ang drama mo," Crispin snickered, poking your rounded side playfully and making you pout. "Nagdadalang tao ka pala, ha. Ako ang tatay pero hindi mo sinabi sa akin na buntis ka." He wouldn't lie, but thoughts of you being pregnant with a child warmed his entire being. Mini-yous and mini-hims running around.

What a dream.

"Nagdadalang tae lang po, manong," you stuck your tongue out at him, then stopped. He stopped walking, too, looking at you questioningly.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Mahal?" you paused. Gulugulugulugulu. Oh no. Mayday, mayday!

"Did you forget something at the restaurant?" he asked. You shook your head in response, telling him there was an emergency.

"... Mahal, natatae ako."

"Like, now?" You nodded at him with wide, doe-like irises. His eyes crinkled, finding the situation hilarious. "Really? Oh shit. Literally. Is this because we were talking about poop?"

Crispin could only cackle as you rummaged through your bag for some wet wipes (and the situation led to you two running around the mall like psychos looking for the nearest restroom—grabe ang cold sweat mo, sis; it was that type of pooping session).

As he waited outside the women's comfort room, he found himself smiling like a weirdo from your date today. Nagdadalang tae o nagdadalang tao, he wouldn't love you any other way.

"Punong-puno ng ligaya ang ating pagsasama."

He found himself unconsciously doing the tapping to you, as well. Tap. Tap. Tap. He only now realized how many times you've been saying "I love you" everyday. Usually, you'd only verbally say it out loud three times: in the morning waking up, whenever he left for a mission, or the times you went to sleep together (because of the nature of his work, it was uncommon, but if he was at home during the night, he'd make sure to say it to you). But now that he knew what the taps meant, he counted them for one week from Monday to Sunday.

You were sitting on the couch, on your stomach and sprawled vertically over his lap. He was watching a basketball game on television while you were on your phone, scrolling through Facebook. It was all quiet until he tapped his finger thrice on your calf. You beamed, rolling over to face him then gently tapping his cheek three times—not with your fingers, but with your hands, smooshing his cheeks then pecking his lips.

"Fwifee-hweif," he said. You tilted your head at him, letting go of his cheeks.

"What was that?" you curiously inquired.

"Fifty-eight," Crispin gave you his signature flirty grin. "You tapped me one hundred seventy-four times today. And one hundred seventy-four divided by three—because I love you has three syllables—is equal to fifty-eight." His affectionate gaze to you softened. "Mahal, you've told me I love you fifty-eight times today."

You just hugged him and hid your face in his neck, "I love you, too, manooooong."

"... Wanna watch a K-drama tonight?" he said, his voice rumbling through his chest as you laid your head on it.

"Mmhmm."

You guys ended up binging Scarlet Heart Ryeo and bawling your eyes out (Crispin cried louder than you, actually, and the box of tissues was passed back n' forth between you two).

"Punyeta, walang Season Two?" Crispin cursed, blowing his nose.

You hiccupped, shaking your head and scrolling through the categories, "W-Wala e-eh, m-mahal."

"Seryoso ka ba?" he gaped, wiping his tears after wiping yours. "That's how it ends?"

You nodded, sniffling, "Uh-huh."

The next morning, when all of you gathered in the kitchen for breakfast, Alexandra and the others could only stare, nagtataka kung bakit namamaga ang mga mata niyo (yeah, they were swollen as hell).

"... Anyare sa inyo?" Alexandra quizzed. Hank, while pouring everyone some juice, had a worried look on his face, too.

"Nag-away ba kayong dalawa, Kuya?" Basilio questioned. You both shook your head simultaneously.

"Hindi," Crispin shortly answered, exhausted from crying with you all night.

"Nanood lang kami ng K-drama," you supplied, as worn out as your boyfriend was.

"Aaaaaaah."

"Na parang wala nang sisira ng lahat."

The date always held some significance to him, not only because it meant only a few days before Christmas but also because it was the day you promised to one another that you'd be endgame.

December 1st.

It would repeat in his head over and over again until the day he died.

The two of you were lying in bed, the cold night air entering through the open windows. You were leaning on his chest in-between his lap, reading The Count of Monte Cristo. He noticed that your expression often shifted between being giddy to being angry or smug at what was happening to the main character.

"... Mahal?"

"Yeah?" you responded, not taking your eyes off the novel. You flipped another page.

"What kind of ring do you want? Para alam ko kung magkano ang iiponin ko?" he quietly asked, his thumb caressing your temple. Normally, men wanted this to be a surprise or didn't talk about this but he only wanted you to have something you'd cherish for the rest of your life. You tilted your head back to look up at him. "Do you want those with the big gems or the smaller and simpler ones?"

You gazed back at your novel, then sat up and closed it, turning to look at him. "Crispin." You took his hands in your own (he tapped it thrice, making a teeny smile creep up your lips). "Hindi ko kailangan ng singsing."

His eyes grew wide, "... Are you sure? You don't want to be formally married?"

You frantically shook your head, "Nooooooo, noooo! That's not what I meant, dummy. I just wanted to tell you that I don't need an expensive ring to be yours." You kissed him. "And to be your wife."

"Pero—"

"Mahal, if we ever do have kids, mahal ang gatas, diaper, at tuition," you childishly told him. "Kung magpapakasal tayo, I don't need a huge proposal or a big wedding. Let's put the funds away for a house and for the future, 'mkay?"

"... But you won't have a ring," he sulked.

Getting an idea, you hopped off the bed and open your cabinet, finding a piece of durable string on one of your shirts. With a strong tug, it came off. You walked back towards your boyfriend, flopping back down then looping it on your left ring finger. You held your hand up to him, "There. I have a ring now, see?"

Crispin had never ever loved anyone as much as he did right now. There was a nagging feeling at the back of his head, though. "... I feel like I've seen this in a movie before, mahal."

"Duuuuh. I got the idea from the Count of Monte Cristo. Mercedes promises herself to Dantes with a string ring! Sorry nalang if copyright infringement ang ginawa ko, hihi." You showed him the book you were reading, the smile not disappearing from your face. Feeling ecstatic, he kissed you passionately right on the spot.

"Ipapangako mo sa akin na magsasama tayo nang walang hanggan?" Crispin whispered against your lips. "Magpakailanman?"

You kissed him, rolling your eyes, "Oo na, Crispin. Corny mo talaga, manong. Such a hopeless romantic, like me!" Another kiss. "I'll stay with you forever and ever and eveeeeeer and grow old with you. We'll get that rest house in the mountains, travel the world together, win the lotto, and do anything we want!" you declared determinedly.

"Promise? Talaga?"

You grinned, wriggling your little finger, "Pinky promise."

He linked his pinky with yours, "Okay. Pinky promise, wifey."

"Okaaaaay, hubby," you quipped, settling down and snuggling into him.

9:24PM, he saw the digital clock display before he pulled the covers over you both, keeping you warm and safe in his arms.

"Bakit pa dumating ang oras na ito?"

"Mahaaaaal, pauwi na ako. Huwag kang mag-alala," you quietly told Crispin over the phone. He was on another investigation, but while their bossing was speaking to Captain Guerrero and Lieutenant Tapia about the case, he used the spare time he had to check up on you.

You had been buying groceries, but knowing you, Crispin had a feeling you had gone to do some other errands.

"Pauwi ka na? Meaning, you're driving home?" He sighed, "And why are you whispering?"

"... Ehehehe," you nervously giggled.

"Anong ehehehehe?" the demigod asked you, suspicious. "Mahal, saan ka na ba talaga?"

"Nasa banko pa ako. Oopsies," you admitted shamelessly. "But I just finished paying the bills. I'm actually walking away from the counter now and—"

You suddenly stopped talking. For a second, the son of the wargod thought that the signal had gone bad.

"Mahal?"

Your voice had gone distant, but it seemed like it was talking to someone else. He strained to hear what you were saying.

"Hey, hey... shhhh, little one, huwag kang umiyak," he heard you say. Your voice seemed so far away. You seemed like you were trying to shush a person. A kid.

"I want my mom!" a child wailed.

"... Langga, come here. At huwag kang masyadong maingay." If it weren't for his heritage as a god, he would have barely been able to hear what you said.

Were you comforting a kid? Awww. He was about to just end the call then text you instead when another much louder and crueler voice could be heard over the phone. No, there wasn't only one voice. There were more.

"Mamatay kayong lahat! Balang araw, hindi na mga tao ang mamumuno sa mundong ito!"

Then there was a sound that was unmistakably a gunshot.

"Nabalitaan ko na wala ka na."

Bang!

His blood went cold. Almost every day he handled firearms in his line of work, so of course he knew what it sounded like. The shrieks and terrified shouts came after the gunshots.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The last thing he heard were more gunshots, then the call ending.

He had never sprinted to Alexandra so fast before, frantically begging her to let him use the Dragon's Gate to teleport to wherever you were, even if it made him physically sick and nauseous.

Crispin didn't give a damn what happened to him, as long as nothing happened to you.

"Hindi ba't sabi mo hindi mo ko iiwan?"

It all happened so fast. One moment he was silently praying to Bathala for your safety while looking for you in the chaos. The next? He was scouring through the overwhelmed emergency room of the nearest hospital, where it was flooded with victims from the mall shooting.

It was a mess, with bleeding patients on the floor as nurses tried to assist. Others were seated on monobloc chairs that had been quickly put on the corridors. There was an overwhelming number of patients taken to the hospital either through ambulances or police cars themselves. It already began to stink of death, and Crispin hated it. His bloodlust as a wargod was creeping up his veins from the stench and his inner fury, but he held it in. He needed to find you first.

Behind him, Alexandra and Basilio were searching for you, too. When he told them what happened, they didn't hesitate to help and be transported to the mall as quick as possible. Captain Guerrero had already dispatched units after hearing what occurred (there was also an alarm that had blared in the station—a bank employee must have pressed an emergency button or something).

Surprisingly, in the midst of the havoc happening inside the hospital, he found himself walking towards the Trauma Bay of the hospital like a magnet. He had no idea where he was going, but he just kept going, and he stopped by a less crowded hallway. If he just went straight forward, he would be entering an operating room.

"Excuse me, coming through! Make some way!" It was a doctor who yelled from behind him. He turned around.

"Hindi papabayaan na ako'y mag-isa."

And as if time went by slower, he found you on a stretcher, being wheeled through the corridor as a nurse was on the bed with you, performing CPR. He saw the amount of blood gushing out of the bullet wounds on your body; one on your back, another on your stomach, and a third on your thigh.

Crispin couldn't help but run after them, asking one of the health professionals what was happening to you, "Nurse! Nurse, is she going to be okay!?"

"Are you her family?" they quickly interrogated. Alexandra and Basilio rounded the corner right as the nurse asked him that. Both held their breaths when they saw the tormenting state you were in, unconscious and on the brink of death.

The eldest demigod frenziedly nodded, "Yes, yes! I'm family!" He glanced at your bleeding form, and his heart clenched seeing the string ring on your finger, a bit of blood splattered over it. "I'm... I'm her husband! Asawa ko siya!"

You weren't formally or legally married yet, but to his eyes (and many of the others who knew you both), you were practically husband and wife.

"Good," the nurse said as they rushed you into the O.R., stopping Crispin from entering any further. "Sir, we need you to tell us your wife's name and her health details, please. She has to be operated on as soon as possible. We need her age, blood type, her comorbidities or allergies, if any..."

Crispin knew them all. He'd memorized them. And he told the nurses everything they needed for the operation. As long as it saved you, he'd say anything. Do anything.

"Hindi ba't sabi mo sabay tayong tatanda?"

It was a grueling operation, he could tell. Crispin had been pacing continuously in the waiting room, not even daring to sit from how anxious he was about you. Hank had come instantly to the hospital after hearing, and now there were three seated and extremely worried people watching him panic outside the operating room.

"God, please let her be okay," he continued to mumble to himself, fiddling with his fingers. "Please, please, please..."

"Kuya, umupo ka muna," Basilio tried to convince his brother.

"Oo nga," Hank frowned.

"You've been standing for five hours," Alexandra gave him a saddened look. "You should rest."

The older demigod shook his head, "I can't, bossing. Hindi pwede. Not until I know that she's okay."

As if on cue, the head surgeon came out of the operating room. Crispin nearly jolted and would have grabbed the man's collar had it not been for Alex and his brother holding him back, calming him down. No one could tell what he was about to say until he removed his surgical mask.

The four occupants waited for his response, antsy. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

"Doc? Is she okay? Is she gonna be alright?" Crispin asked, troubled out of his mind. Alex's grip on his arm tightened, and so did Basilio's hold on his shoulder. "Doc, please say somethi—"

"... I'm sorry," the surgeon shook his head, a somber look on his face.

It was like the universe stopped for the demigod. The two people holding him were the only ones to support him when his knees buckled.

"We did everything we could. She lost too much blood, and the bullets hit too many vital organs," the doctor explained forlornly. "We performed CPR and a cardiac massage on her for thirty minutes, but she did not make it through the rest of the operation."

The words just echoed emptily through Crispin's ears.

"Bakit bigla ka na lang nandiyan sa kabilang buhay?"

When he entered the morgue alone, he didn't know why but he was expecting you to be sitting up and smiling, almost hearing your teasing voice telling him it was all a cruel prank. At first, that was what he saw. He saw the love of his life, soft skin flushed and curled up lips filled with so much love directed at him. He saw you radiant—glowing; that familiar twinkle in your magnificent eyes. He reached out to hold your left hand, awaiting its warmth.

Awaiting the three taps.

The taps that would tell him "I love you" and "I'm okay".

Crispin even waited a minute. Maybe you were still there, hanging on. Maybe... just maybe... you were fighting.

"Mahal?" he croaked out, squeezing your hand.

"Paano na ang lahat? Paano na ako, tayo?"

Those three taps never came. One minute. Five minutes. Ten minutes.

Only then did he really see you. The illusion all came crashing down.

Now your skin was so cold. So lifeless. So... opposite from what you were when you were alive. You were pale. Your lips were tinted blue. You were so still. So deathly still. Not one movement.

It freaked him out.

He couldn't believe it was you on that metal table—it didn't look like you. Where was the halo he always saw around your head? Where was that beam of light following you around?

His rose-tinted glasses suddenly became grey and dull. Taking your left hand, Crispin felt his heart shatter even more when his hand brushed the string ring on your finger. They had cleaned you up and made sure there was no blood left on your body, but nothing could remove those tiny, miniscule splatters that stained the string.

Remnants of what happened today.

You never did remove it. Even when showering or swimming or washing the dishes, you'd joked to him.

"See? 'Di ko nga kailangan ng singsing. Mas maganda pa nga 'to, eh. I can wear it all the time! Matibay pa!"

Crispin could nearly hear you, but it was all just a memory in his mind. God, he didn't want to forget your voice. Your laughter. Your cries. You whispering to him how much you loved him. He couldn't. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did.

Both of you didn't even get to say "I love you" one last time. But reality was harsh, and this wasn't a movie where the leading characters could have a lengthy monologue confessing to each other as the dramatic scene was drawn out from seconds into minutes.

There were no camera angles, no music, no time left, and no happy endings. Everything was raw. Real.

"Hindi ba't sinabi mo sa akin na sabay tayong mangangarap?"

"Mahal," his voice trembled as he held your icy hand to his lips, kissing it. "Huwag mo akong iwan. What about us? Our dreams? Andami pa nating pangarap, 'di ba? Mga gustong gawin?"

No response.

"Tatatanda pa tayo, 'di ba? Bibili pa tayo ng bahay na nasa bundok... then we'll travel the world together, right? We've... We've saved up half of the funds! You... You can't leave now..."

Silence.

Crispin felt tears dripping down his face. He hadn't noticed he was crying. Only with you could he be a sniveling mess—around the others, he always had to be the kuya. The responsible one. The oldest one. The loyal bodyguard.

With you? He could be anything and you would never judge him.

Even when you were dead, he was still a sniveling mess in your arms.

"Sabi mo gusto mong manalo sa lotto," he choked out, cupping your cheeks. It was so strange to him; how colorless they were compared to how... spirited you were in life. "I'll do that... I'll make that happen. Just please... please come back to me. Gagawin ko ang lahat... bumalik ka sa akin, mahal. Mahal..."

Crispin told himself nothing was impossible when a god loved someone, yet now all this god could do was be paralyzed by his despair.

"Bakit bigla kang lumisan nang hindi man lang nagpaalam?"

They say there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People don't talk enough about how they weren't actually stages. They were just five emotions and there was no particular order they came in. They would come and go, and that was how dealing with loss really was.

Today, as he was cradling his departed soulmate and the only woman he knew he'd ever love this much—reduced to tears while nursing his broken heart—he was feeling denial, bargaining, and depression all at once.

Only then did he allow himself to feel anger—just pure, unadulterated fury—when Alexandra let him and his brother unleash their bloodlust to the guilty aswang clan that had been the culprits of the mall shooting. The bank robbery.

He had his vengeance.

The son of the wargod nearly became a god of war that night, coming home soaked in the same crimson that dripped off his guns. He swore to himself he'd rip the world apart for you and build it back from scratch. Thus, Crispin was merciless to those who murdered you and all those other innocent humans.

He took his time watching the life dissipate out of their eyes, especially since he didn't see yours before you died. They were already closed when he got to the hospital too late.

Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. He'd felt all that as time passed, on and off.

Acceptance? That last stage? That last emotion? Crispin never did really get to that point. Perhaps he would. Perhaps he wouldn't. Only more time would tell.

"Isang malamig na hangin ang yumakap sa akin."

The demigod sat under the tree that shaded your gravestone, a bouquet of white and red roses beside him while he relaxed on the grass. It was a classic symbol of true and everlasting love. That was the vow you'd made to one another, right?

December 1st.

It had been one year since your death. Wasn't it funny how the fates worked? Two years ago, on this very day, you two promised each other that you'd be together forever. He said that this day would be memorable to him until the day he died because technically, it was your engagement slash informal wedding anniversary.

Then one year ago, you had been shot trying to protect a child from those armed aswang. You saved the kid, alright. Crispin even made sure that the little boy, one of the lucky survivors of the shooting, wouldn't be targeted by the aswang. He ensured your sacrifice wouldn't be in vain. But what was supposed to be a marriage anniversary turned into your death anniversary.

December 1st.

The day would indeed be eternally ingrained into his mind.

But now, he could only dwell on nostalgia as he crouched and cleaned your gravestone, polishing it after removing all the grass and dirt. Engraved on it were the words beloved friend, sister, and wife.

Wife.

He really should have married you before you were declared dead. It didn't matter now; you would always be his wife, even in death.

On the left side of your gravestone was his mother's tombstone. He did the same, cleaning it and polishing it. When he was done, he tapped your gravestone thrice, "Una na ako, mahal. Paalam din, Ma. Baka hanapin pa ako ni bossing."

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He jerked, swerving around and standing up. He swore someone just touched his shoulder and—

Whoosh!

"Parang isang pahiwatig na magpapaalam ka na."

A gentle breeze came from behind him, where the tree was. Once more, he turned around.

Crispin didn't know what to do.

He thought he was dreaming, but he wasn't. He knew he wasn't. Not with the way your hand rested on his cheek. Not with how warm you felt.

Despite seeming almost transparent, you looked absolutely radiant, more so than when you were in life. If he was biased before about you having a halo and a beam of light following you around, now he wasn't (because you really did have a golden circle on your head and a candescent glow behind you).

You didn't speak, but again, you tapped your index finger thrice on his cheek. He was too stunned to react to the featherlight touch you had. It was almost nothing, but it was there. A ghostly tap, tap, tap.

"... Mahal?" he whispered.

You joyfully beamed at him (God, did you look divine), then planted a fragile kiss on his lips. You settled down on the roots of the tree and patted the patch of grass beside it. He sat down slowly. When he did, he removed his black gloves while you intertwined your hand with his.

On his left ring finger was a string ring made from that old shirt of yours. The same one you improvised your string ring from. It was how Crispin always remembered you and how he brought your memory everywhere with him.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The triple tapping. Perhaps it was your way of wordlessly saying you loved him while simultaneously bidding him goodbye as a ghost. He didn't know. You couldn't speak (or he couldn't hear you), so you did what you could.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Just that gesture every once in a while as you quietly listened to him tell you about his day.

When he had to leave, he saw you there by the tree, sitting and waving at him. The next time he came to visit, you were there. Always there, waiting.

And when you weren't, after a couple of decades, Crispin knew that it was time for him to let you go.

To let himself move on.

But that didn't mean he stopped hurting or stopped loving you. He could never stop loving you. Never.

Kahit kailangan ka niyang bitawan upang makapagpatuloy ka sa kabilang buhay, habangbuhay kang minahal ng isang diyos ng digmaan.

× AUTHOR'S NOTE ×

Nasa mood kasi akong manakit ng tao (because ngayon ko lang pinanood ang mga pelikula ni Rico Yan & Claudine Barretto after his death; ang pait eh, right person but wrong time). Medyo sadista pala ako, haha. Ayun, pati ako umiiyak habang nagsusulat nito. Even when I was showering, I was still crying and blowing my nose out. Sana nagustuhan niyo kasi pati author niyo nasaktan sa ginawa niya. 🥲😅

And that tapping gesture was inspired by a random Reddit post I saw years ago. As someone whose love language ain't saying stuff out loud, that just really called out to me. Acts of service kasi akin, eh.

Anyways, I finished writing this at like, 12AM. I'll just edit the typos and errors tomorrow because I want to get this oneshot off my chest. Goodnight! 😂💤

Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated, too! (Yes, you may also rant at me for this.) 💙

TAGLIST: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @hannalogies @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie @haliya-mori

[just-another-writer-cherry]

Watermelon Sugar High

Type: imagine 

Warning: Daddy kink, smut, oral sex, and just a rough fuck in general 

A/N I really hope you guys enjoy this, Please like and reblog. Thank you so much for those of you who support me and my writing. THANK YOU SO MUCH

Y/N

“All right everyone, get in position!” Pablo one of the directors told us models

Tasha, Lia and I start walking towards the ocean to get ready for the scene. I met them this morning while we were getting ready, and The three of us just got really close in that short period of time.

“So are you guys excited to part of the video?” Ask Lia

“Eh, money is money and you do what you have to do to get it” I answer

“You sound like old whore lady” Tasha told me

The three of burst in a fit of laughter

“Not but seriously, have you seen how Harry has been gawking at you practically the whole time we’ve been here?!” Lia said

I stopped laughing, and rolled my eyes at her comment. Seriously like why would he ever, there is better girls out there to gawk at

“No there is-“ I’m not able to finish my sentence because Tasha interrupts me

“Girl stop, he has and you and I know it” she said and lia just nodded

“You know I shipped your baby’s would be fucking cute”

“She’s right Y/N , your baby’s would be adorable, with his curls and your tanned ski girl I’m death” Tasha added

“Shut up” was the only thing I said, as if they couldn’t get more annoying they started signing

“Y/N and Harry sitting on a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G!” Lia and Tasha were singing, awful signing may I add

But before they could continue their awful performance, I had to stopped them because at the corner of my eyes I spotted grinning Harry dressed in a floral bottom up with yellow shorts walking towards us

“Shut up you morons Harry walking towards us” I told them they stop signing and quickly came to stand beside

“Bet your fucking tonight” Tasha whisper in my ear, I blushed hard and a lot

I just gave her a death stare and right when I was gonna open my mouth to bite back a thick British voice interrupted me

Damn why isn’t anybody letting me talk today!

“Hello lady’s” Harry said

“Hi” the three of us said

Harry was about to speak but Tasha beats him do it

“Actually Lia and I have to go-um -watch the water” she said

Tasha pull Lia with her and started walking forward somewhere, she turn her head when she far enough from Harry and mouth me a “Tell me everything” 

I only shake my head and turn my attention back to Harry

“so..” I said

“so..” he said 

“what do I own the pleasure Mr.Styles?” I ask him

“Please, call me Harry, and I just wanted to tell you that smiles of yours drives me crazy”

“what?” I ask him confused

“I said that smiles of yours drives me crazy” He repeat again

“Thanks..” I said shyly, is he trying to flirt with me?..

He smiled back at me 

“so are you excited for the video?” I ask him, I’m trying to keep this conversation as light and professional as possible 

“Very, specially if a beauty like you will be in it” He said with a bit of smirk

I just blushed really hard, before I can speak he said 

“Your blushing makes you look extra cute and hot” 

My cheeks couldn’t help it and blushed once more, only this time I try to cover it but couldn’t. While I was embarrassed, all Harry did was laugh. Not a mean laugh but a kind laugh. 

“Please stop saying those things, it’s very unprofessional” I said in shy tone voice 

“Well, in my defense I’m not flirting, I’m just being extra friendly to my extra attractive friend” he said, giving me a flirty smirk at the end  

We both laugh a little bit, 

“Oh so I’m your friend now?” I said with a bit more confidence

“ Course you are, in fact a beauty like you should be cherish by everyone” 

“god you and your compliments” I said shaking my head with a smile

“Well darling I shall get going but remember I’m wearing the smile you gave me” he said

afterwards he lean in and gave me a peck on my cheek near the corner of lips. then he whisper in my ear “Thank you for reminding me what butterflies feel like” 

After that he just walk away towards the directors, I was just standing there in pure shock. I could not believe what just happened. 

~~~~~~~~

Later on the same day

Y/N POV 

We just finish wrapping up the first day of shooting, people are currently either packing everything up or heading to the hotel. We are all pretty exhausted, running around in the sand o a hot day takes a lot out of you. Instead of doing what everyone else is doing I decided to take a little get away and just enjoy the beach around. 

I was sitting on the sand, my toes getting wet by the ocean water , eyes closed and enjoying the gently breeze. I was so calm and relax, I hadn’t realize I haven’t felt this way in so long. I was in my own world enjoying myself. 

“Mind if I join?” Harry ask, scaring the pure shit out my soul

“Fucking hell, you scare the living daylights out of me” I told him

He laugh and sat down next to me.

Once he is seated next to me he says “Sorry for scaring ya”

“it’s okay” I assure him

We sit in silent for a moment, before I speak

“It’s beautiful isn’t it” I said, referring to the view 

“Yeah you are” He said 

I just look at him then back at the view. All the can be heard are the waves crashing, I’m calm and enjoying this. But not too long into that moment I feel a hand on my thigh. 

Harry’s 

I move mines on top of his, he moves a little closer to me and his hand a little higher on my thigh. My breath speeds up a little bit, I turn so now I’m facing him and he is facing me. He moves his face just a little bit closer to mine, just close enough so that the tip our noses are touching. We might not be in a room but I can guarantee you the temperature is rising.

“Y/N can I borrow a kiss?” He ask 

“Are you gonna give it back?”

he mutter something I coudn’t understand, next thing you know his lips are on top of mine, he is kissing me and without a doubt I’m kissing him back. The kiss grows more intense and passionate. 

He picks me up from the sand so I’m straddling his lab, he pulls me into him, make me seat right on top of his growing member. His tongue ask for entrance and I gladly allow. At first our tongues are figthing for dominance, but it slowly turns to a passionate dance where our tongues are just dancing. He is holding tight by my waist, the more we make out the more wet I get, the more hard Harry gets. He pulls back breathless and with a little of our saliva on his lips. 

“Let’s go back to my room” he says licking his lips and I swear in the moment the wetness of my pussy when right through my panties.

To his statement I only my head

We get up from our spot and make our way to the car who was driving us to where Harry is currently staying.

~~~~~~~~

The whole car ride here was INTENSE. Harry was touching me then I was touching him, we were kissing, his tongue was exploring my mouth while mines was trying to do the same with him. 

Once we arrived to his room, I’m immediately pushed to the wall by Harry, he comes closer and sensually whispers  “I’m gonna fuck you so hard, I’ll make you feel it for days” he starts to kiss right below my ear , while I rapped my hands around his neck. we then start to kiss and he takes a hold of thighs from underneath. He carries me to the where he seats down with me on his lap. He goes to untied my bikini top, but I stop him.

“let’s take care of you first” I say in my most sensual voice

I start to unbutton his shirt, when I’m done unbuttoning his shirt, I take it off and throw it somewhere in the bedroom.I start to kiss around his neck while doing so I discover his sweet spot which makes him moan loud when I suck a hickey on it. Once I’m done with that hickey I give it a kitty lick and blow air on it. I go to kiss and leave more hickey’s on others spots of his neck, and chest area. I start to get on my knees and kiss lower and give him kitty licks. He releases a low “fuck” when sees I’m getting closer to the waistband of his shorts.

I stop what I’m doing to remove his shorts and his underwear at the same time. I see his big, thick, long hard cock come out, bits of pre-cum on the tip. I’m honestly kinda mesmerized by his cock, its really pretty. “it’s so pretty h” I tell him “t-th-anks” he says. I smile, cute. I take his cock in my hand and slowly start to stroking him up and down. He moans at my action, god his moans make me even wetter. With my other hand I play with his balls for a bit. “I-I li-ike w-wh-at you’-re doi-ng” he says “you like this, then your not ready for what comes next” I told him. 

I take the hand that I was stroking his cock with and spit on it, i start to stroke him again. I’m so focus on what I’m doing I don’t even realize his moans are getting louder. I take the tip of his cock into my mouth but only like 1/3 of it, to tease him. I do that a couple of times, but I stop when he says “Fuck, stop being a fucking tease and suck on it already” with a dominance tone of voice “ok” I responded “ok what?” he ask “k, daddy” Shit, I look up at him, embarrassment written all over my face,  “I’m sorry I-” I’m cut off by him  “say it again” he told me to “Daddy” I said “that’s right be a good girl and suck on daddy’s cock” Which is exactly what I do.

I start to take him into my mouth, since he is gigantic I was only able to take maybe a little bit over half of it. the rest I did with my hand. Once he is in my mouth I take sometime to adjust to his size but soon enough I start to bob my head up and down his cock. At the same time doing this I run my tongue up and down plus giving him the most innocent look I can while having his cock in my mouth. “Uh- Fu-ck Yes!, K-ee-p go-in-g don’t Fuck! Stop!” He moans after that, and keeps moaning, each one louder than the last one. I’m pretty sure peple next door can hear us. I feel his hand slide through my hair, as in moving out of my face. 

I keep sucking on his cock, harder this time. I also play with his balls to show them some loving, so they don’t feel left out. Harry seems to be on cloud nine, the way some of his baby hair stick to his sweaty forehead, how his eyes roll back and god his moans are like music to my ears. The way his chest is sweaty, how his hand hold onto the sheets of the bed, this is a sight to never be forgotten. While I’m still sucking, I can feel his cock twitch and that’s when I know he is close. I pull back from his cock, a string of saliva and cum following, “you gonna cum daddy? Please cum for me, want your cum daddy I’ve been a good girl for you” I said and go back to sucking after “Yes b-ba-by gir-l, su-ch  Fuck! a good girl for your d-daddy” he says with moans in between “Yes! Yes! I’m cumming! F-uck go-gonna cum” and he does, he cums,  I feel his cock twitch in my mouth before a warm liquid shoots out and down my throat. Harry lets out several moans in the process. after coming he falls on the bed, sweating and out of breath. I take his cock out my mouth, string of saliva following, I wipe the at the corner of my mouth with my the back of my hand and lick it. I go up to see and he looks fuck out. 

“Hi daddy” I say, he is still trying to catch his breath, but when he does, he gets up enough to attached our lips together again. He hovers over me, still kissing me. I’m now laying on my back on the bed, his hands roaming my body. He his hands go behind my back to untied my bikini top, once he does he pulls it over my head and throws it somewhere on the the floor. He starts to kiss my neck. Soon enough he fines my sweet spot and starts to sucks a hickey “Fuck, daddy” I moan. His hand goes down to outline the waistband of my shorts.

He starts to kiss the between my breast, then starts to kiss and lick the top of  my the top of my left breast. Goes to the middle of my breast and starts to lick down until he gets to my nipple. Once there he raps his whole mouth around and starts to suck on it roughly, as if milk would come out it.  His tongue his swirling around it as well.”Fu-ck Da-ddy!”, after couple more seconds he stops sucking on my left boob ad goes to do the same to the other. He also suck hickeys on both of my boobs.

When he is done with my breast, he starts to kiss down my body and when gets to my shorts he rips them off me. He looks at my  my clothes pussy, and licks his lips. “You’re really wet love, wonder who did this do you huh? This all for daddy?” He licks my pussy over my underwear, I only moan, to the I feel a harsh slap on my thigh, I moan again but this time louder. “that’s not a fucking answer, tell me who made you this wet or I won’t let you cum tonight”  He is asking with a dominance tone of voice. “You did daddy, its all for you” I told him.

He rip my panties off after that, and spread my legs wide. with one finger he when rub up and down between my pussy lips. after doing so a couple times, he came and said “suck on it” and that’s exactly what I did, I suck on his fingers. “that’s right, be a good girl and get nice and wet fo’ me to use on your pretty cunt” he said and I moan on his fingers. He when back down between my legs and with two fingers I felt him spread my pussy lips and with the one I suck on he started to finger me while with his tongue he lick around my clit teasing it. not too long after he added another finger. His thrust with his fingers when faster, sloppier, and you could hear a slapping sound every time he when in and out my cunt. I was moaning like crazy, everything he was doing felt so good, almost too good to be true. Out of the fucking he started to suck harshly on my swollen clit, I could feel the his tongue play with it, you also could hear sucking noises. 

Everything was happening so fast, “fuck daddy!”, I moan and kept moaning louder and louder. he was eating me out so good. I had tears at the corner of my eyes, I was about to cum. Daddy seem to notice this because just when I was about to cum he stop everything he was doing to my pussy. He came up from in between my legs to my face and said “You are not coming anywhere else besides daddy’s cock tonight little girl” with his deep british accent.

He then spread my legs out even more, he position himself at my entrance and with the tip of his dick he tease my pussy by going in between my pussy lips and around my entrance. He when to pin my arms down on the bed above my head. “C-condom daddy” I reminded him, what he said shock me “ Daddy’s fucking you raw tonight” He said “what if I get pregnant daddy?” I ask him “guess your having daddy’s baby and its no one business” I didn’t have time to answer before he kiss me. 

Without any sort of warning he slam his big thick cock in my cunt. I moan against his mouth at the feeling of being full. His thrust were rough, and hard. His hips were going circular motions. The bed start to shake, harry move his hands from mind and took a hold of the headboard. H started going faster, and faster. But I want it more. “is t-hat oh all you got” I challenge him, “you want more huh” he said and suddenly his pulling out of me and flipping me on to my stomach. My face against the pillow, he lifted my butt in the air and when back in again. He was holding my waist with his hand while thrusting roughly in and out me. I let out a scream of pleasure and so does he. Every time he pushes in, I push back which he seems to like a lot.  We are both a moaning mess, I’m either moaning or calling him daddy. He is constantly telling me, I’m his good girl and how tight I am. he is also choking me, not enough to stop my breathing but just to make it pleasurable.  The headboard is hitting the wall and the bed is shaking.

He keeps fucking me, harder and a lot more rough than he started and that’s when I feel myself coming. “I’m- da-ddy- Fuck! *moan* Cum!” I manage to say, “you wanna cum don’t you? fucking cum for daddy” he orders me and I do I cum long and hard. “fuck I’m cumming too princess, gonna give you my seed” he cums too, only thing leaving our mouth are moans of pleasure. Once he is done cumming, he pulls out and falls on the bed next to me. We are both trying to catch our breath, fuck my lower body is too sore, I can’t even feel my legs, much more less my pussy. 

I feel harry pull me towards him, I cuddle into him once I’m close enough. “go to sleep little girl, I know you’re tired” He says, petting my hair. “k, daddy” Is the only things I say before falling asleep on his chest. 

~~~~~~~

Next Day

Y/N POV 

After last night harry hasn’t left my side at all today, everyone is looking at us. I still can’t walk properly but I’m trying . Harry said he is taking me out on date which should be excited. Anyways we are currently seated at one the chairs in the hotels lobby. One thing is that everyone has been giving us teasing smiles, and has made a lot of sex reference comments towards us. 

OMG what if they all heard us last night! 

I go pale at the thought

“Y/N are you okay?” Harry ask 

I was about to answer but I was interrupted by two very familiar voices 

“so are you pregnant yet?” Lia ask

“We heart noises last night” Tasha said wiggling her eyebrows

“yeah *makes moaning noise*” Lia demonstrated

I blushed and told them “I- shut up you two” 

“that’s what we should’ve told you guys last night, right guys?” Said Tasha

Everyone else around us just nodded and agree with Tasha

Harry turn pink and look away, I was just seated embarrassed that they heard us last night

Oh god what have I done...

********

I have no words, This was really interesting  to write, fun fact I laugh at lot while writing the smut part of this for some weird reason... Anyways Thank you so much for reading



[dontcare77ghj]

All In

Bucky x reader x Steve x Sam

Notes: Bucky did not kill Tony’s parents. Civil War did not happen.

Steve had met Bucky in the forties. The two knew they were soul mates when Steve broke his arm and Bucky was suddenly sporting the same injury. Of course, they had to keep it a secret. Soul mates or not for the time their relationship was incredibly taboo.

Sam and Y/N met in 2010 after a friend had introduced them. They knew they were soul mates when Sam slashed his arm when attempting to assemble his wings and Y/N got a matching cut. In 2010 they had nothing to hide.

In 2014 you and Sam were on a run when you tripped over an uneven part of concrete. You weren’t injured apart from some skinned knees which Sam hissed about.

“You just had to trip.” He sighed, helping you up.

“Oh shut up.” You rolled your eyes fondly. “You could be sympathetic to the uncoordinated.”

“It doesn’t hurt that bad.” A blonde man said, jogging over to the two of you, his knees freshly skinned.

If you and Sam were shocked at having another soul mate, you both damn near passed out when you learned of Steve’s first soul mate. You’d only heard stories of multiple people sharing soul mates, but you never thought they were real, until that day.

It was another year before Steve was reunited with Bucky and you and Sam finally got to meet your fourth.

2015

“What’s taking Steve so long?” You wondered aloud, watching Sam move around the kitchen.

“He has a meeting with Fury and Natasha.” Sam reminded you. “And then he is going to pick up dessert.”

“Hopefully it’s something caramel filled.” You groaned, leaning back on the couch before letting out a yelp. “Jesus, Sam.” You said, applying pressure to your bleeding hand.

“It’s not like I did it on purpose.” He said, applying pressure to his own hand.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” You said, moving into the kitchen and grabbing the first aid kit. “Steve’s going to give you a lecture on being more careful now.”

“I thought that lecture was just for you, you klutz.” He chuckled before hissing as you pressed down on his wound. “I mean I love you and you’re perfect.”

“That’s what I thought you said.” You smirked and finished bandaging his hand.

“Which one of you did it?” Steve yelled as he entered the house.

“Bird brain did it.” You responded as Sam wrapped your hand. “Come to the kitchen and I’ll fix you up.”

“Can you fix someone else up as well?” Steve questioned as he entered the kitchen with a long-haired brunette beside him. A brunette with a bleeding hand.

“Of course.” You smiled. “Nice to finally meet you, Bucky.”

2024

Non-reader POV

“Hey, are you still coming with me today?” Natasha asked, entering Tony’s kitchen behind Pepper.

“Aunty Nat!” Morgan exclaimed, rushing over to the red head. “I missed you.” She said once she was in Natasha’s arms.

“I missed you too, kolibri.” Natasha said, pressing her lips to the girl’s temple. “So, are you coming?” She repeated, turning to the man.

“Don’t hit me when I ask this, but, where are we going?” Tony asked, pouring his wife a cup of coffee.

“We planned to go see Y/N and the boys today.” Natasha reminded him. “If you’ve scheduled other things, you don’t have to worry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I got nothing better to do than see my favorite foursome.” He said. “Do you need me to take Morgan?” He asked his soul mate.

“No, I’ll be fine. Say hi to them for me.” Pepper smiled, taking the young girl out of Natasha’s arms. “Say good bye to Daddy and Aunty Nat.”

“Bye.” Morgan waved.

“How’s everyone settling in at the compound?” Tony asked Natasha as she drove them.

“Pretty well. Bruce and Wanda are working on bringing Vision back and Thor finally worked out a way to contact us.” She said.

“How’s Clint and his family?”

“They’re doing well, they’re all adjusting as well as can be expected but I spoke to Clint last night and he’s just happy to be home. How’s Rhodes?”

“He’s doing pretty great, he finally got Ross off everyone’s ass, so he’s going on vacation.”

“Vacation sounds nice.” Natasha commented with a wistful sigh.

“You know you can go on vacation, right Nat?” Tony asked her. “You’ve done enough Romanoff; you deserve a break.”

“Maybe. Maybe I like being needed.” She smiled. “I remember you having this conversation with them, before it all.”

“Yeah and look at them now, those lucky bitches are retired.”

2017

Tony had thrown another one of his famous parties. The night had been loud and full of drunken people, people no-one really knew. Once the hours became earlier Tony had kicked everyone out except the team.

It was currently three a.m. and everyone was quite intoxicated as they all lounged in various positions.

Y/N was sitting on Bucky’s lap who smiled at her as she fiddled with his hair and Steve had his head on Sam’s shoulder as he laughed at Clint’s story.

“You’re a bigger idiot sometimes than Steve.” Bucky smirked.

“That’s uncalled for, you jerk.” Steve said. Steve had indulged in some of Thor’s mead and everyone had noticed he was acting different, more laid back, more relaxed.

“You love me.” Bucky smiled.

“Not anymore. Only Y/N and Sam get my love.” He said, snuggling into Sam’s side.

“Oh, you’re wasted aren’t you, Stevie?” Sam smiled, playing with the ends of the blonde’s hair.

“Well, I love you Buck.” Y/N said loudly, her own intoxication levels quite high. “Doesn’t matter if Steve doesn’t give you his love, you got mine.” She said, peppering the brunettes face with kisses.

“No, she’s wasted.” Tony laughed. After Steve had introduced Y/N and Sam to the team, Tony had become quick friends with the women and he always found it amusing to watch the women drink.

“You’re drunk more than I have.” The woman slurred, pressing her face into Bucky’s shoulder.

“The difference baby girl, is that this is like water to him.” Sam chuckled. Tony flipped the bird at the man in response.

“Let’s just agree that everyone’s drunk, except Bruce and spider boy, and leave it at that.” Natasha said, shaking her head. “I need a vacation.”

“Hm, a vacation sounds nice.” Bucky hummed, tangling his fingers in Y/N’s hair. “Don’t feel like I’ve had one of those in a century.”

“We could go to the beach, lay water side all day. I could get behind that.” Sam nodded.

“Why don’t you go then?” Tony asked. “Take that vacation, take longer than a vacation. The four of you have done plenty.”

“One day, Tony. We’ll go one day.” Steve said after exchanging looks with each of his soul mates.

2024

“When did you raid a florist?” Tony asked, looking at the back seat which was teaming with different flower arrangements. “Seriously, how did I not notice this before?”

“Because you’re blind. It’s your age.” Natasha smirked.

“Rude. No one else would treat me like this.” He grumbled.

“Yes they would.” She grinned. “Alright let’s do this.” Natasha said as they pulled up.

“Do you need a minute?” Tony asked her.

“Do you?” She fired back with no real fire.

“No I came here with Pepper a couple weeks ago, I got it all out then.” He explained, staring out the front window. “It felt good.”

“I shouldn’t even be here, Tony.” She murmured. “I died on that rock, I accepted it. I shouldn’t be here.”

“We all were rocked by the snap, Nat. Things have happened, things we can’t change.” Tony said. “I’ve been through this before, this feeling of only being alive for a purpose and it’s not real. Steve’s been through, Y/N, Bucky, Sam, me, it happens. And all of us will tell you, you’re alive for you and you only. There is no other reason.”

“You’re right.”

“I wish I were recording that; no-one’ll ever believe me when I say you admitted I was right.” Tony said.

“Shut up.” Natasha laughed, hitting him lightly on the arm. “Alright, let’s actually do this.” She said, unbuckling her seat belt.

2022

Reader POV

“We got really lucky.” You said, running your fingers through Steve’s hair. “And I know you feel guilty about that but this is not a punishment.”

“That’s not what I think at all.” Steve said, looking up at you. “It’s just when I talk to these people and they’re all distraught because they’ve lost families and soul mates, all I can think to myself is; ‘Thank God that’s not me.’ I can’t help but feel guilty.”

“It’s normal to think these kinds of things, to be grateful nothing has happened.” Sam told him, sitting on the bed next to you both. “Everyone in this room has suffered more than we ever should have and we deserve something good.” He said as Bucky sat next to him.

“Steve, you are one of the best men I know. You have worked your ass off to save this country, this world, hell this universe. While not everything you’ve done has turned out the way you wanted, you have saved so many people. You are allowed to feel guilty for those you couldn’t, but you are also allowed to feel grateful for having survived.” Bucky told him.

“I just wish I could do more.” Steve sighed.

“And that’s why we love you.” Sam said, laying down so he was spooning Steve. “Because you are so selfless.”

“Even if it borders on stupidity most of the time.” Bucky added, situating himself behind Sam.

“You always do the right thing, Stevie. We trust you.” You smiled, still playing with his hair.

“I love you three.” Steve murmured. “I don’t know what I’d do without you all.”

“We love you too, Stevie.” You said.

“Till the end of the line, we’re all in.”

2023

“We’re losing, again.” You said, shooting another of Thanos’s men.

In the span of an hour, you’d managed to travel back in time, lost one of your own, gain all the stones and snap everyone back to life. But Thanos had attacked, the building had blown and now you were losing.

Everyone was pinned down or injured in some way, you wondered if you would survive this.

“We’re not going to lose. We’ve fought too hard for this.” Sam grunted.

“Sam you and Steve are too optimistic for your own good.” Bucky chuckled humorlessly.

“Carol’s down.” Steve reported. “Thor’s down.” He added before getting knocked down. You were the only one in the area and while Tony attacked and distracted him you snatched the glove.

“I’ve got the glove.” You said into the coms. “Oh, shit I’ve got the glove.”

“What do we do?” Sam asked as he and Bucky joined your side, Steve struggling over to the three of you.

“I’ve only got one plan, and it doesn’t end well for us.” Steve said, standing beside you all.

“We don’t have any other options so share with the class.” Bucky said, shooting those who were racing towards the four of you.

“Put the glove on, Y/N.” Steve told you, throwing the hammer. “Put the glove on and snap.” 

“That’ll kill you three, not just me.” You shook your head. “Think this through Steve.”

“We don’t have another choice.” He told you.

“We’ve done enough. We might make it through this but if we don’t. We’ve done enough.” Sam said.

“It’s your choice, kitten.” Bucky told you. “Whatever you decide we’re all in.”

A loud yell directed your attention back to Thanos. The man had thrown Tony away from him and was staring at the four of you.

“You can’t stop me. I am inevitable.” He yelled before, running towards you. Without another thought you shoved the glove onto your hand. A small cry left your lips as the power coursed through you and your knees buckled.

Sam held onto you as you smirked at the titan.

“And we’re the avengers.” You said before raising your hand high and snapping. All around you people began to disintegrate and you managed to stand long enough to see the purple titan turn to dust before you fell to the ground, all three of your boys around you.

All four of you were touching each other in some way as the team rushed over.

Tilting your head upwards, a small smile twitching the corners of your lips, you used the last of your strength to say;

“I love you. I love all three of you.”

Their murmured responses were the last thing you heard before the world went black.

2 days later

Non-reader POV

After the joint funerals of Steve Rogers, Y/N L/N, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff, everyone had gone back to Tony’s house. It was there Bruce had volunteered to return the stones.

“Are you ready, big green?” Tony asked, with Peter beside him. The rest of the Avengers and their families nearby.

“As I’ll ever be.” He replied.

“3, 2, 1.” Tony said before sending Bruce back in time. “And returning in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” He said but Bruce did not reappear.

“Where is he, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked as the billionaire fiddled with the machines.

“I don’t know kid.” Tony replied.

“Tony.” Clint spoke up. “There.” He said, pointing to the lake. Everyone looked to the lake to see Bruce walking back towards them, with a woman beside him.

“The guardian said, four souls were sacrificed and that mine was no longer needed.” Natasha said before any of the stunned people could speak. “He said, they wish us the best for our futures.”

2024

Natasha and Tony stood in front the four gravestones of their family. The flowers Natasha brought covered the surrounding area and provided color that the four would have loved.

Neither said anything as they stood there, Tony’s arm around Natasha’s shoulders and her head resting on his shoulder.

“I wish they could know we’re doing alright.” Natasha murmured after an eternity.

“They know.” Tony assured her. “They all know.” He added, staring at the plaque that laid in front of all their graves.

Bucky Barnes, Y/N L/N, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, soul mates. Friends. Family. Heroes.

Taglist

@rvgrsbrns @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @hopingforbarnes @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @jelly-fishy-babie @smilexcaptainx @starlingelliot @reann-loves-sebstan

Coming soon

Dean x reader x Cas

Tony x reader x Bruce

Natasha x reader x Wanda

Meg x reader x Cas

Wanda x reader x Vision

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 330

OLFACTION: SENSING THE SCENTS: Part 2

E-NOSE TECHNOLOGIES

The sensor is the e-nose's key element, and the sensor type is its defining characteristic. There are 5 types of e-nose sensors, as follows:

Optical sensors: Optical fiber sensors work through fluorescence and chemoluminescence. The tube's glass fibers contain a thin encoated active material in their sides and at both ends. As VOCs interact with the organic matrix's chemical dyes, the dye's fluorescent emission changes the spectrum. These changes then are measured and recorded for different odorous particles.

Fiber arrays with different dye mixtures can be used as sensors. These are fabricated by dipcoating (binding a plastic solution to a substrate), micro electromechanical system (MEMS), and precision machining. The main advantage is that this adjustable tool can filter out noise. Also, since many dye forms are available in biological research, sensors are cheap and easy to fabricate. But the instrumentation control systems are complex, which adds to the cost, and have a limited lifetime due to photo bleaching (the sensing process slowly consumes the fluorescent dyes).

Optical sensors are sensitive and can measure low ppb (parts per billion); however, they are still in the researach stage of development

Spectrometry-based Sensors: This group consists of a molecular spectrum-based gas chromatography (GC), an atomic mass spectrum-based mass spectrometry (MS), and a transmitted light spectrum-based light spectrum (LS). The first two can analyze the odor's components accurately, which is a plus. However, their use of a vapor trap to increase concentration can alter the odor's characteristics. LS devices do not consume the sample, but do require tunable quantum-well devices. GC and MS devices are commercially available, while LS devices are only at the research stage. All spectrometry-based sensors are fabricated by MEMS and precision machining, and can measure odors to a low ppb level.

The GC tube decomposes the odorant into its molecular constituents, and MS forms a mass spectrum for each peak. The spectra then is compared to a large precompiled database of spectral peaks to classify and identify odorants.

MOSFET (Metal-oxide-silicon field-effect-transistor): The basic principle here is capacitive charge coupling. In other words, VOCs react with the catalytic metal and thereby alter the device's electrical properties. The device's selectivity and sensitivity can be fine-tuned by varying the metal catalyst's thickness and composition. MOSFETs are micro-fabricated and commercially available, but can measure only parts per million. They can be manufactured by electronic interface circuits, which minimizes batch-to-batch variation. However, the gas produced by the VOC-metal reaction must penetrate the MOSFET's gate.

Conductivity Sensors: The sensor types used here are metal oxide or conducting polymer. Both operate on the principle of conductivity, for their resistance changes as they interact with VOCs. Metal oxide sensors are common, commercially available, inexpensive, and easy to produce (they are micro-fabricated). Their sensitivity ranges from 5-500 ppm. However, they only operate at high temperatures (200°C to 400°C).

In conducting polymer sensors, VOCs bond with the polymer backbone and change the polymer's conductivity (resistance). They are micro-fabricated together with electroplating and screen printing, are commercially available, and can measure from .1 to 100 ppm. They operate at room temperature, yet are very sensitive to humidity. Moreover, it is hard to electropolymerize the active material, which makes batch-to-batch variation inevitable. Sometimes VOCs penetrate the polymer chain, which means that the sensor must be returned to its neutral and reference state-a very time-consuming process.

Piezoelectric Sensors: These devices, which measure any change in mass, come in two varieties: quartz crystal microbalance (QCM) and surface acoustic wave (SAW) devices.

QCM sensors have a resonating disk and metal electrodes on each side. While applying the gas sample to the resonator's surface, the polymer surface absorbs VOCs from the environment. Thus its mass increases, which increases resonance frequency. As the U.S. Navy has long used QCMs, this technology is familiar, developed, and commercially available. A QCM sensor is fabricated by screen-printing, wire bonding, and MEMS. Althoug it can measure a 1.0 Ng mass change, its MEMS fabrication and interface electronics is a major disadvantages. QCM sensors are quite linear in mass changes, their sensitivity to temperature can be adjusted, and their response to water can vary for the material used.

MEMS techniques should be handled carefully, for the surface-to-volume ratio increases drastically as dimensions approach the micrometer levels. Measurement accuracy is lost when the increasing surface-to-volume ratio begins to degrade the signal-to-noise ratio. This problem occurs in most micro-fabricated devices. SAW devices have much higher frequencies. Since 3-D MEMS processing is unnecessary, SAW devices are cheaper. As with QCM devices, many polymer coatings are available. The differential devices can be quite sensitive. However, interface electronics require more complex electronics than those of conductivity sensors for both QCM and SAW sensors. Also, as the active membrane ages, resonance frequencies can drift and so must be detected for frequency by time. SAW devices are commercially available and sensitive to mass changes at the 1.0 pg level.

PATTERN RECOGNITION

Any e-nose's primary task is to identify an odorant and perhaps measure its concentration. After the signal processing step comes the crucial step of pattern recognition: preprocessing, feature extraction, classification, and decision-making. A database of odors must be formed for comparison purposes.

Preprocessing accounts for sensor drifts and reduces sample-to-sample variation. This can be done by normalizing sensor response ranges, manipulating sensor baselines, and compressing sensor transients.

Feature extraction involves dimensionality reduction, a crucial step for statistical data analysis, since the database's examples usually are subject to financial constraints. The higher dimensionality caused by sensor arrays is reduced to relevant pattern-recognition information and thus extracts only significant data. As most dimensions are correlated and dependent, it is better to reduce dimensionality to a few informative axes.

Feature extraction usually is accomplished by classical principal component analysis (PGA) or linear discriminant analysis (LDA). PCA is a linear transformation that finds the maximum variance projections and the most widely used technique for feature extraction. But as PCA ignores class labels, it is not an optimal technique for odor recognition.

LDA seeks to maximize the distance between class label examples and minimize the within distance, and thus is a more appropriate approach. LDA is also a linear transformation. For instance, LDA might better discriminate subtle but crucial odor projections, whereas PCA can remove the high variance random noise in a projection.

The classification stage identifies odors. Classical classification techniques are KNN (k nearest neighbors), Bayesian classifiers, and ANN (artificial neural networks]. KNN with, say, 5 nearest points will find the 5 closest matches from the precompiled database. The closest match will be assigned as the tested material's odorant class.

Bayesian classifiers first assign a posterior probability to the classes in the lower dimension and then pick the class that maximizes the predetermined probability distribution. ANN is closer to biological odor recognition. After being trained by the odor database, it is exposed to the unknown odorant in order to recognize the largest applicable response odorant class. The classifier estimates the class and places a confidence level on it.

In decision-making, risks and application-specific knowledge are considered in order to modify the classification. All decisions are reported-even a nonmatch.

CONCLUSION

As this article indicates, we can expect great progress in this area. And with each step forward, science and technology will continue to point toward the Greatest Artist's most subtle designs and allow us to appreciate them better.

[the-shadow-of-atlantis]

New Start

Summary: Andromeda starts high school and meets someone new

Tagging: @dilpickledd @melyaliz @coffee-randomness @speedypan

Read Earlier Parts Here

Andromeda wasn’t entirely sure why she felt so excited as she stood in front of the high school building. She looked up and took a deep breath, this was going to be a new beginning for her. Sure some kids from her middle school would be here but there would also be kids from different schools that she never met before. Letting out a small huff she headed off the bathroom to add some finishing touches to her look.

Luckily the bathroom she found was empty; the gossip girls hadn’t taken over the bathroom yet. She dug around her backpack for her makeup bag, smiling when she found her brothers encouraging note tucked into the small pouch.

Knock’em dead

Andromeda shook her head, folding the piece of paper and tucking it into the back pocket of her shorts. It was a new method he was trying to help build up her confidence. Checking her watch she quickly got to work on getting her makeup on. She nodded at herself in approval as she took in her appearance smoothing her hands over her black bodysuit. She adjusted her thin cardigan so it hung just right then packed her things and headed to her locker.

She took out the bag that had the clothes she had originally left the house in and stuffed it in her locker. A quick look at her schedule and she deposited the books she didn't need to carry before lunch. Just then the bell rang and Andromeda quickly took off to her first class.

Most of her classes had been pretty uneventful, the teachers mainly droned on about whatever their syllabus said they were going to do over the year. If there was time then they would make everyone do a meet and greet around the classroom. Andromeda's hope about making new friends seemed to dwindle over every class as some kids seemed to carry on friendships into high school.

By the time her science class rolled around she decided to stick to the back row of the class as the students started to file in. Andromeda was busy trying to get the rest of her band pins on her backpack to pass the time. She would probably need to invest in a different backpack if she wanted to decorate it properly.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asked beside her, making her look up.

Andromeda couldn’t help but blink several times at the boy who stood by the stool that was next to her. His soft brunette hair was perfectly tousled; he had a kind smile but his eyes were hidden behind a set of visor looking sunglasses, which was a strange combination with what seemed like pretty boy clothing.

“Sure.” Andromeda cleared her throat realizing she had been staring a bit too long.

“Thanks.” He said, taking a seat. “I’m Scott.”

He held out his hand and Andromeda stared at it, was this guy serious? Still she shook his hand.

“Andromeda.” She replied.

“Andromeda?... that’s a nice name are you-“

“Nope parents like Greek things, just not the lifestyle.” Andromeda said, making Scott look at her curiously.

“Im sorry what?”

“Inside joke, never mind.” Andromeda shrugged and quickly pinned the last button she needed.

The teacher came in then and started the same speal as the other teachers. Andromeda doodled on her paper as the teacher talked, occasionally glancing over at Scott who seemed to be taking notes on his own syllabus.

“I suggest you get to know the person next to you as they will be your lab partner for the rest of the year.” The teacher said, taking a seat at their desk.

Andromeda continued to doodle but she felt Scott turn to face her after putting his paper away.

"That's pretty nice." He said eyeing her dragon that stretched along the border.

"Thanks." She said adding the finishing touches. "So how do you wanna do this? Play 20 questions? Just get basic information out of the way?"

Scott seemed to stare at her, his mouth opening and closing as if he couldn’t find the right words to say.

“You always this articulate when talking to someone?” Andromedas asked and Scott let out a small shy laugh rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’ll admit I’ve always had a difficult time talking to new people.” He said looking down, Andromeda nodded slowly.

“Well then we have that in common.” She said smiling softly at him he seemed to stare at her in shock but she wasn't quite sure it was a little hard to read him with those sunglasses blocking his eyes.

“Really?” He asked, still eyeing her.

“I’ve lived in Bayville three years and so far my only best friend is my little brother.” Andromeda admitted a small chuckle escaping her, however she noticed Scott's face seemed to drop.

“Hey sometimes little brothers can be the best of friends." He said softly.

"You have one?"

"Had."

"Oh." Crap things got dark fast. Andromeda looked at Scott and patted his arm awkwardly.

"So you said you moved to Bayville?" Scott asked.

"Yup."

"What for?"

"The company my dad works for wanted him to relocate." Andromeda simply explained her hands trailing back to the doodle.

"That must've been hard." Scott said, looks like he was trying to be the empathic one this time.

"It is what it is." Andromeda shrugged. "What about you? No offense but you don't really strike me as a Bayville local."

It was Scott's turn to be a bit reserved now. "I lived in Alaska up until a couple months ago when my new foster dad brought me here. So I'm pretty new.

"Well then." Andromeda said signing her name on the corner of her sheet and slipped the paper towards him. "Looks like we have another thing in common."

Scott looked down at the finished doodle. "Don't you want to keep the syllabus?"

"Nah, I'm good, keep it." Andromeda shrugged and got up as the bell rang. "See you later."

~~~~~~~~~

Andromeda smiled politely at all the lunch ladies and attempted some small talk as she grabbed her food. Rule number one of making it through school always befriend the lunch ladies and the janitor they tend to have your back if something happens. Andromeda scanned the cafeteria, this part is the one that always sucked, picking a lunch table to sit at.

Andromeda had quickly spotted Scott he was sitting next to a boy she slightly remembered from one of her classes. Hmm Andromeda wasn't sure if she should sit down with Scott or not, she couldn't help but still feel a little awkward. Why was making new friends so hard? Andromeda decided to leave them alone for now Scott said he was new and it be good for them to branch out and make friends. Maybe she could just sit outside soak up some sun, however as she made her way past the table Scott was at she spotted a boy sitting alone, his little sack of lunch looking as lonely as him. Everyone seemed to avoid him as they passed and as Andromeda got closer she had to admit she realized why, he didn't really have a pleasant smell. Still she sat down at his table making him look at her questionably.

"Hi." Andromeda said with a smile.

"Hi?" The boy said, still looking at Andromeda skeptically.

"I'm Andromeda."

"Todd."

Andromeda took a bite of her burger and eyed Todd's sack lunch.

"Whatcha got?" She asked.

"Just a sandwich." He said, pulling out a soggy looking sandwich.

"Want some fries?" Andromeda asked, she had gotten some extra courtesy of Linda who smiled when Andromeda complimented her on her hair color.

Todd was about to say something when they were interrupted by a blond boy that Andromeda was all too familiar with.

"Aw looks like dummie finally got a little boyfriend.” Said Duncan his friends snickering behind him

“Duncan.” Andromeda said looking up at him. “Shocker to see you here, what did mommy have to sleep with the principal to help you get in?”

A couple of his friends stifled their laughs and Duncan glared at her.

“Jokes on you, the principals a woman.”

“And that would stop your mother because?” Andromeda heard someone choke and she turned to see Scott and his friend trying to stifle their laughs

A woman then appeared in front of Andromeda making her stiffen.

“Is there a problem here?” She asked her eyes piercing as they stared at all of them through her glasses.

“No Principal Darkholme.” Duncan said.

“Then carry on.” She said making Duncan leave quickly, she looked down at Andromeda studying her carefully before walking away.

“Well she's scary.” Andromeda mumbled.

“You have no idea.” Todd mumbled.

“What classes you got next?” Andromeda asked, wondering if they’d have any together.

“Computers and P.E.” He said warming up to her.

“Cool, we got P.E. together.” Andromeda said, pushing her fries to him again and this time he accepted them.

~~~~~~~~~~

Andromeda cheered as she flew through the air that night feeling a rush like never before.

"St- in r-ng." Her brother, Adonis, voice cut through her thoughts.

Andromeda sighed and looped backwards and hovered.

"Better?" She asked.

"Perfect." He said.

"You really need to amp the range on these little things." She said flying in a slow circle.

"I'm trying." He said, looking up at her from his spot. "You seem in a good mood. I'm guessing school was fun."

"Yeah, I made a couple friends. I think… I definitely made one friend. I'm still unsure about the other one.” Andromeda said as she slowly began to descend. “I’m gonna need a new backpack though. I literally spent most of my day putting my pins on only to have to take them off on the bus ride on top of doing wardrobe change.”

"I'll add it to the list. Maybe I can convince mom to take us to the mall this weekend." Adonis said holding his hand out so Andromeda could hand him back the communication device.

"What about you, how was school?"

"I'll admit it's not as fun when you're not around." He said putting their things away.

"Aw you miss me." Andromeda teased ruffing his hair making him smack her hand away. "We should head back, I don't want to be tired for school tomorrow."

"You seem a little too happy about going to school." Her brother noted.

"And that's a bad thing because?"

"Oh my god." Adonis stopped and stared at his sister.

"What?" She asked.

"You're crushing on someone." He said.

"What? No I'm not." She defended herself.

"You totally are." He said laughing.

"I've barely been to school for a day how could I be crushing on someone already." She said matching his pace as he started walking again.

"Oh trust me you only have that face when you fly and you still have it now."

"I just had a pretty good day at school." Andromeda grumbled.

"Alright alright." Adonis said holding his hands up in surrender though that stupid smile hadn't left his face.

"I hate you." Andromeda mumbled.

"No you don't." Adonis smirked, he was definitely going to rub this in her face later.

[maknaesdancersrappers]

🎶 Ikaw ang pagibig na hinintay, puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal, ngunit ngayo'y nandito na ikaw 🎶

trans: you are the love that [I’ve been] waiting for, [my] heart has been unhappy for the longest time, but now you’re here

a/n: I had the hardest time translating this lyric goddamn aLSO!!! tumblr didnt notify me of this request ajsjakskdmdk this was supposed to be posted scenARIOS AGO but okay we’re here now and this song is da ult prenup song okay

-

It starts to get a little depressing when everyone around you started getting married and you, being the friend they can always count on, started becoming the bridesmaid at every wedding you were invited to.

It’s not that you aren’t looking for love. It’s just that it hasn’t found you.

Out of the past nine weddings you’ve been to as a bridesmaid, none of the single groomsmen you were partnered had piqued your interest nor were they looking for long term relationships; always hoping for a one night stand or at least random hook ups.

You politely declined them.

During ladies’ night, you’d sit through conversations about engagement stories, wedding planning, honeymoon escapades, and even pregnancy plans--and really, you were happy for your friends, but you just started to feel a little left out.

“Speaking of,” One of your friends, Miyoung, speaks up, mischievously looking at everyone. She raises her left hand and everybody squeals, even you, when you see the silver ring on her finger, “Taeil proposed!”

Everybody is asking questions at the same time; when? where? how? You, on the other hand, sit back and listen to the answers, quietly sipping on your cocktail.

“[Y/N],” You jump a little when you hear your name. You didn’t realize you had spaced out a bit, “Will you be my bridesmaid?”

You laugh, “That’s a question you don’t have to ask.”

She smiles, tilting her head a bit, “Taeil has plenty of single friends--”

“Please don’t.” You cut her off, shaking your head as you continue to chuckle, already knowing where this is going.

“You’ll never know! I’ll make sure you’ll be partnered up with someone I just know you’ll get along with.”

Scoffing, you tip your cocktail at her, “Yeah, sure, because tenth times the charm.”

You should have known Miyoung wanted her wedding to be perfect in every single aspect. When you received the invitation for the wedding and a special note to all the entourage that there will be a three-day rehearsal just before the wedding, you shouldn’t have been surprised.

Taeil and Miyoung had booked hotel rooms for everyone for the duration of the rehearsals and wedding. When you had checked in and rolled your suitcase into the room, you let out a sigh.

This was going to be a long weekend.

After you settle into the room and put away your clothes for the next few days, you step out into small balcony by the bed.

The cool afternoon air hits you and shiver a little, crossing your arms to shield yourself from wind.

“[Y/N]! I didn’t know you were here already!” Miyoung’s voice sounds from the left and you turn your head to her.

She was on the adjacent balcony with Taeil and another man.

“Your phone was busy so I just told the receptionist the details and they let me up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that! I must have been on the phone with my mom. Anyways, this is Kun, by the way! He’s your partner.” She winks at you and you fight the urge to roll your eyes, seeing as both Kun and Taeil are watching you.

“Hello there.” You wave and he returns it, “I’m [Y/N].”

“Well, we’ll leave you two to get acquainted, okay? You’ll be stuck with each other for the next 4 days.” Taeil informs, walking towards his fiancee and escorting her out.

You and Kun stay quiet for awhile, awkwardly looking out at the city lights.

“Well, uhm, I was going to grab dinner. Would you like to join me?”

And that’s where it all started: you and Kun have started seeing each other even after the wedding, much to everyone’s excitement. You hadn’t expected to hit off so well with Kun.

He was so soft spoken at first, but he had such a lovely laugh and voice--you couldn’t stop blushing when he finally relented to your requests of singing after you found out he had majored in music. He liked the same things as you and even had the same voracious appetite--which made most dates automatically food trips to new restaurants.

He was a great listener and shoulder to lean on; he gave the best cuddles when you need them, and he had never pressured you into sleeping with him--even though there are time you can see his hormones had gotten the better of him.

Kun was a sweetheart and you were in no doubt in love with him like he was with you.

And although you’re the last unwed among your circle of friends, you have never pressured Kun into proposing in all 3 years you have been together.

One night, you and Kun decided to book a hotel for a short staycation during the next long weekend. You didn’t know he had booked the same hotel you two had met in until he pulls up at the building. He had even booked the room you had stayed in.

You hadn’t thought much about it, remembering that Kun was especially fond of the view from the hotel.

After returning from dinner that night, he pulls you out into the balcony and wraps his arms around you, pressing your back against his chest.

“Are you cold?” He quietly asks, lightly swaying your bodies from side to side.

You shake your head, “I’m fine.” You glance at the balcony that had been his 3 years ago. It seemed unoccupied with the lights off and curtains drawn. “I can’t believe we met here 3 years ago.”

Kun chuckles and you can feel his chest vibrate, “We should really thank Taeil and Miyoung for partnering us up... I almost didn’t go, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I had sort of a vendetta against weddings; they were ironic celebrations of reminding how single you are.”

You lean your head back so you could look up at him, “For years, I have always been the bridesmaid and never the bride, but you don’t see me holding grudges at weddings.”

He kisses your cheek, “Yeah, well, you handle teases better than me. My father was worried he’d never get a grandson out of me--he even thought I was gay.”

This makes you double over in laughter, “I thought you had girlfriends before me?”

“I did and they all fell through.”

“We haven’t~ and hopefully won’t ever.” You spin around and hook your hands over his nape while his arms adjust around your waist.

Kun nods slowly, a ghost of a smile present on his face. “Yeah.” He pauses, moving to trap you between his body and the ledge of the balcony, “Before you, I was just about to give up on love. I was ready to accept that maybe I was destined to be single and I told Taeil this when I declined his offer to be one of his groomsmen, but he managed to talk me out of it and I ended up going--and meeting you.”

You pull him down for a quick kiss, giggling when he presses his forehead on yours.

“And I never knew how sad and lonely I was until I found out how happy I was with you. I’ve never been quite in love with anyone like the way I am in love with you, [Y/N].”

“Kun,” You breathed, “I love you, too.”

He licks his lips, blinking at you for a couple of seconds. “Really?”

Your brows furrowed a bit, “Yes, really.”

“Then,” Kun clears his throat, “How about you stop being a bridesmaid and become a bride? My bride?”

Did you hear him correctly? Before you can react, he steps back and goes on one knee while brandishing a ring from his back pocket.

“Will you marry me, [Y/N]?” Kun asks in a soft, but steady voice.

Your hands have flown up to your lips, covering them as they parted in surprise. Tears start to prick your eyes when you finally grasp the situation and start to adamantly nod your head, choking out stutters of “Yes” and “Of course” repeatedly.

He takes your left hand and snickers to himself at how shaky he was when he attempted to slip the ring on. When he finally does, you help him up and kiss his lips to stop yourself from sobbing.

“No wonder you’ve been so suspiciously sweet all day!” You cry out, leaning into his palm when he cups your cheek.

Kun grins, “Just building up the moment. I only had one shot at it... So how does it feel that you’re finally going to be a bride?”

You laugh, playfully slapping his shoulder. “I’m going to go ‘27 Dresses’ on my friends and make them wear all the ridiculous bridesmaid dresses they made me wear!”

He joins you in laughing, “Sounds like a plan. Whatever makes you happy, [Y/N].”

You cock your head to the side, slipping your arms around him, “That would be you, Kun.”

[modelronpagame]

Lying in Wait | Chapter 3 Event!

It’s been a couple of day’s worth of confusion in the gaudy, glittery halls of HP’s Most Excellent. From investigations and general experiences alone, what was thought to be a location purely for fabulous clothing and egotistical hopefuls had started to show it’s true colors. However even with the rise in conspiracy theories among you, still nothing seemed certain.

However, what was certain was the unpleasant voice of Momotori/[Another Mascot] coming through your speakers sometime in the evening.

“Good evening, ya nerds! Don’t worry, we don’t have a body for you kids quite yet. Kya-hahah~!”

What a way to ruin your evening.

“Nope, nope! Instead, we’ve got a very special little event set up for y’all! In fact, we even have a special guest t’ help us out tonight! Petbe-san, you’re up!”

The camera comes into focus on a shot of the theater balcony where a figure dressed all in black lounges. On their face is a bright red mask similar to one found in Noh theater which depicts some sort of demonic entity. Their legs are crossed one over the other while leaning to one side, resting their cheek on their one hand’s fist. Even if you can’t see their actual expression, you get the distinct feeling that they’re very much enjoying themself.

A masculine voice comes through the mask.

“Hey, shitheads! Nice of you to allow me to join you all for some old fashioned fun! Well, I wasn’t welcomed to the last party, I guess. I was just sooo nervous about you not liking lil’ ol’ me being there, you know? I’m a considerate kind of person so it’s only the least I could do for you all!”

Adjusting so that they were now sitting upright, their legs uncross, and their head tilts to one side, laughing.

“‘But what fun are you talking about?’ I can hear bouncing around in your empty little heads. Well, instead of telling you, why don’t you just look for yourselves? Do something useful, yeah?”

As Petbe goes on, all of the available monitors and Modelpads produce a new image. It appears live footage from the theater is projected. Sitting in a circle on the stage you all see 6 figures bound to chairs:

Hinata Fukumoto

Konoka Kyou

Raketsu Hachimitsu

Koharu Amashiro

Red

and Kagemori Kanta

Looking closer, all of the students seem to be slowly coming to from unconsciousness. Attached to them appears to be medical probes.

The camera resumes focus on the masked person, “Uwaaaahhhh!! How nice of your little friends to join us! Good morning, you lucky participants! I’m so overjoyed to have you join me today for this little game!!” Petbe says, clapping their gloved hands together. “I know it must be a shock for all of you to wake up to this, but I promise it’ll all be great fun! For me. Not for you. Unless, of course, this is your idea of fun. You all really love talking about how you want Ng to step on you soooo I really don’t know what your tastes are other than terrible. Maybe electrical pulses going through your body is your definition of a fun time! I won’t judge.”

They pause for a moment in their speech.

“I’m lying, by the way. I will judge, you fuckers. Nasty.”

Cackles come from them, 

“Guess y’all wanna know about those fancy medical probes, huh? Well, why don’t I explain it to you? You’re gonna be playing a game! It’s one of my own creation, and you all seem to be loving my other game!” 

Petbe gestures to the entirety of the theater. Oh. That game.

“This one’s called Lying in Wait! The game consists of seven rounds during which each of your classmates will have a list of three statements projected above their heads! Your jobs, my stupid little friends, is to pick which one is the truth amidst the lies! Just like you do during your everyday life! You all should be thankful! My fun little trials have given you very good practice at this!”

They continue.

“ANYway, if you pick correctly, then we just move onto the next person! Buuuuuuut if you pick wrooooongggg oneeeee,” 

They lean forward and waggle their finger.

“Your little friend you just picked a response for will get a nasty shock! Zap, zap!! Keep answering wrong for the same person, and the shocks will get worse and worse and worse until they could seriously cause some damage to your pals up on stage. We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Tapping their cheek, they seem to be thinking.

“Well, you might want that, but I’m betting that you don’t. Of course, I also thought that you all would be great friends, but some of you seem to already like hurting some of the people on stage, huh? Some friends you are.” 

They laugh. Petbe seems to crack themself up. At least someone’s laughing.

“I, quite honestly, would love it if you all answered every single thing wrong. Screams of torment and pain and betrayal and wondering if your so-called ‘friends’ did it on purpose or if they really didn’t know the answer...they’re music to my ears.”

Leaning back in their seat atop their perch, they cock their head to one side and you get the impression they’re grinning behind that stupid mask.

“I hope you all enjoy the show!~ I know I will!”

Once the unknown voice seems finished with their explanation, Momotori jumps back in.

“That about sums it up! Thank you, Petbe-san~ Oh!! And one more thing!!!”

The animatronic flaps their wings with urgency before settling down.

“Before any of you try t’ intervene - there’s a new rule in place for this event!”

Your Modelpads have a pop-up appear, bringing you to the Rules Page:

[ ✧ Students may not leave the room they are currently in. ]

“If anyone decides they wanna try t’ be ‘heroic’ and ruin our good fun - we’ll give ALL of them a really nasty shock! SO!” Momotori chuckles, “It’s best you just sit back and enjoy the show with us~! Haaaave Fuuuuuun!”

And so, it begins.

[soupcosmics]

Kutsara

I recently moved to an old apartment not far from the university I'm in. I was a fresh grad when I first came here and moved to this city. Boarding houses and dormitories were full since I was late trying to look for one. So rather than taking a two-hour trip from my house to school every day, which involves riding a bus and two jeepneys on a single trip, my parents decided to let me rent an apartment of my own. They told me I was old enough and I should start being independent, so I did.

The apartment I'm in isn't fancy. Like I said it's pretty old. The whole complex was probably built sometime in the 70's or 80's and it sits in the heart of the bustling city of Manila. Everything I need from shopping malls to a variety of stores are all in just a walking distance. But this place looks more like an old hotel rather than an apartment.

My unit is just like any other units in the whole apartment. It includes 3 rooms; a small bedroom, bathroom, and both the living room and the kitchen are only separated by a kitchen counter so it counts as one room. Once you get inside my unit you'll be greeted by a small sofa and a wooden coffee table on your left, which is the living room. Just a few feet further beside it is an old kitchen table and a desk table. Look right and you'll see the kitchen, on it's both sides are the bedroom and bathroom. Whoever designed this place sure didn't think much about its practicality. But I don't have much choice since the rent is the cheapest around town I've seen so far.

Cold cemented floors. Partially lit hallways. Quiet neighbors whom I'm not sure if I actually have any, but sometimes I hear noises over the other side of my bedroom wall. Sounds pretty scary but I eventually got used to it. I did saw some of my neighbors physically. And they look human to me.

A woman in her 60's owns the whole place. She's friendly, though very superstitious. Once I offered to help her clean up but she told me that I shouldn't sweep during the night because I'd sweep away wealth, or at least that's how she told me it goes. The reason why she didn't bother hiring anyone to clean up the place is because most don't respect her superstition, or are peeking on other tenants. Creepy. I wouldn't want anyone sneaking in my unit especially since I'm out most time of the day. But perhaps the creepiest thing she ever told me were stories about the whole place being haunted. I'm not much of a believer in things like ghosts but I do keep an open mind. And would be interested to actually see one.

One night I was working on my thesis and waiting for my instant noodles in the microwave. The usual food for a college student on a budget. A meal suitable for any time of the day, or night. After it was done cooking I immediately took it out of the microwave with my bare hands, shaking from starvation. Put it on top of the desk beside my laptop. I took the lid off and for a second looked at it as the steam emerged from the cup. I grabbed a spoon from my kitchen and took a scoop.

"Ay puta!" I said as the hot water burned my lips and made me drop the spoon on the floor. It reminded me of what the old woman said. If I dropped a spoon or fork, it means that a visitor is coming. In this situation, it's going to be a girl since it's a spoon. (I wonder if utensils can be used to predict the gender of a baby while still inside a pregnant woman's womb.) I immediately looked at my door. 30 seconds have passed. 1 minute. 1 more minute. And yet another minute. "Asa ka namang may babaeng pupunta rito." I whispered to myself as I continue to work on my thesis.

It's 3 AM and I'm exhausted beyond sleep when suddenly there's a knock on my door. I stared at it for a few seconds. I thought it was just my imagination but I heard a knock again. And another continuous knocking. I grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen and went to defensive position, holding the pan high above my head and ready to swing. Afraid, I opened the door and to my surprise, there's a girl. A real, actual girl standing in front of me. I hid the pan behind me and asked the girl. "Bakit? A-ano kailangan mo?" Nervously I stuttered. "Kuya, pwede po bang magstay muna ako sa inyo? Nawala ko kasi yung susi ko and si lola tulog na kaya hindi ko mabuksan yung pinto ng unit ko." She answered with her hands pressed against each other, slightly begging. Luh ano gagawin ko? It's a girl. And a complete stranger. I've been here for months but I've never seen her before around here. She stood there looking at me with her shiny hazelnut eyes, while fingers fiddle with her long, black hair. "Ah sige sige pasok ka muna, malamig pa naman dyan sa labas." I answered mindlessly. Yung kutsara?

I let her in my apartment. She took her shoes off and placed it beside the door. Visibly shivering, I offered her a blanket and a cup of coffee. "Thank you." then cheerily smiled at me. I haven't had anyone stay over here so it's kinda awkward. But she's my neighbor, and this is a good first impression if I want to impress her somehow. "You can stay here sa sofa for the night." I told her as I sat beside her, setting up a pillow I got from my bedroom. "Kuya salamat ah." She smiled again and placed her head on my shoulder then wrapped her arms around me. "N-no probs." I said with an anxious tone. Gawin ko na lang bukas yung thesis ko. I let myself fall asleep beside the girl who just knocked on my door.

Next morning I woke up late because my alarm didn't went off. The girl who was sleeping beside me is nowhere to be found. But my laptop and other stuff aren't missing so I didn't bother. I rushed taking a shower and getting suited up for school. On my way out I saw the old woman at the entrance. There was no time to talk so I just greeted her with a smile and went off.

Lunch time at school and I have an hour to waste. I decided to spend it with my friends. I went to the canteen and they were already there, waiting for me. A short guy with a dark skin tone waved at me. His name is Chris. Beside him is Rachelle, the long-haired girl with an attitude. And on the opposite side of the table is Alex, my weeb artist friend.

I gave Chris a high five as I sit down between Alex and Rachelle. But Rachelle went up to buy something so I moved beside Chris. "Pre you won't believe what happened kagabi!" I excitedly told him. "Ano?" He looked at me with enthusiasm, waiting for an answer. "May babaeng pumunta sa apartment ko pre tapos dun natulog." I told him. But he only raised his eyebrows. "Ano ginawa mo? Or ano ginawa niyo rather." He then gave me the look. The suspicious look your friend gives you when he thinks you've done something stupid and wants to make fun of it. "W-wala naman." Suddenly, Alex perks up away from her tablet, waiting for a follow up answer. "Natulog lang siya beside me. Ayun lang." Alex looked down again at her tablet, looking uninterested. Chris on the other hand spoke up. "Well, you shouldn't take advantage of girls kaya tama 'yang ginawa mo." "Luh nagsalita." Alex whispered while adjusting her glasses. Rachelle came back and we continued to chat about other school related topics.

The day went on as usual. Classes were dismissed and we went home. I managed to get home before rain started pouring. I overheard the news in the TV at the lobby that the rain will continue to pour and may get worse tomorrow. With that, I shrugged and went up to my apartment. I prepped my dinner and started working on my thesis until it was finally finished. Throughout the night the thought of the girl kept bothering me. I kept thinking about her. I didn't even got a chance to ask her name. I need proof to show Chris I'm telling the truth. So I went to the kitchen, grabbed a spoon and intentionally dropped it. I sat on the sofa to wait for her to knock. Minutes and hours have passed, I decided to take a break and nap.

I woke up at 3 AM after hearing someone knocking on my door. It's her. It's definitely her. So I rushed to the door to open it. And it was her. The same girl last night. Except right now she's all wet, probably because of the rain. It's already rainy season anyway. "Kuya pwede patuyo muna ako? And yung susi ko..." She begged. I nodded before she could finish and I let her in. I gave her a towel to dry up and a cup of coffee again to warm her up. "Sorry sa abala ah. Natutulog ka na ba kanina?" I was. But for her I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night. "Hindi naman. By the way, a-ano pangalan mo?" She looked up to me from the sofa and answered. "Jessica." I'll remember that. "Okay. Mukhang basang basa ka ah. Gusto mo ba magpalit ng damit?" For a second she hesitated. "Sige po." I went to my bedroom and opened the closet, looking for clothes that would suit her. And I ended up picking a plain gray shirt and shorts. I gave it to here and pointed at the bathroom for her to change. But after taking the clothes from my hands, she turned around and started to undress. Revealing her pink underwear. Flustered. I felt like my nose was about to bleed so I turned around and waited. "Medyo malaki pero okay lang." She said. I turned back again to her. She looks cute wearing an oversized shirt. "Woah." I muttered under my breath. She giggled and gave me a smile before sitting on the sofa again. I sat beside her.

"Ano yun?" She pointed at a shiny metallic object on the floor. Immediately I realized it was the spoon I dropped earlier so I took it back to the kitchen. Suddenly, she was standing right behind me. "Salamat kuya ah." She hugged me from behind and went to sit down the sofa again. I grabbed a couple of snacks from my mini fridge and approached her. Bored with nothing to do. I turned the TV on just in time a movie was starting. She grabbed my left arm, dragged me down to sit on the sofa and hugged it, laying her head on my shoulder. I started feeding her with chips I took earlier. We both silently watched until she fell asleep. I tried to get my phone from the table but every time I try to move she keeps nudging me and dragging me down. As much as I want to take a picture, I just decided to enjoy the moment until I finally went to sleep beside her.

My alarm went off just in time. Only had five hours of sleep but at least I have enough time to prepare for school. Once again, before I knew it the girl was gone. Nothing went missing too so I started getting ready and all suited up for school. By the entrance the old lady stood again, looking out the gate. I didn't want to bother her so I went straight outside until I heard her voice. "Mag-ingat ka iho." She smiled. I looked back at her and smiled too. And off to school I went.

The whole day went on without much happening. Classes dismissed. Skies that were clear and bright now turned to an overcast. Dark clouds threatening people to go home early. On my way out the campus I saw my friends waiting. I gave them a wave goodbye and continued my way home. Streets were bustling with people walking mindlessly to their destination. Major roads were clogged with traffic. The sight of garbage along the sidewalk makes me sick. Luckily I made my way to the apartment before the downpour despite the winds already blowing hard.

Rain continuously knocked on my window. The lights would flicker every time a thunder roared. But it didn't stop me from getting a spoon and dropping it on the floor again. As the spoon fell, thunder cracked and the lights went off. Instinctively, I went to the kitchen and lit a candle. And so an orange flame lights up the room. Later I heard a knock on my door. It's her again. I rushed up to my door to open it. Just to be greeted by the sight of her. Looking down, and crying with her hands wiping her tears. Her wet hair runs down covering her face. And she was wearing an odd, white dress that seems to be wet and slightly torn apart. Her skin looked more pale than before, covered with bruises and scars. "Anong nangyari sa'yo?" I nervously asked. She didn't say anything. She didn't respond. She kept wiping her eyes, crying and shaking. I grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Anong nangya-" Before I could finish that question. Her head slowly perked up to me. Revealing her dark, empty eyes. It was deep but all black and lifeless. She smiled with a hint of blood on her lips and cheeks. Her mouth opened wider and wider, more than any normal human can until it stretches too much the skin starts to tear and her jaw unhinge from her mouth. Her bloody jaw hangs lowly from her head. She started to cackle, then afterwards laugh. Her high pitch voice pierced through my ears. Despite this I kept staring at her, holding both of her wrist up. I could only tremble in fear while I face her. This creature who was just a girl night before, now half dead-looking straight from a horror movie. I held my breath as she shrieked until the candle went off.

I stepped back in the darkness and away from my door until I felt the kitchen counter beside me. Now that my hands are free, I reached for my phone in my pocket and turned it's flashlight on. Lighting the room to see if she's beside me. But she was still there, standing outside my already open door.

"Don't you miss me?" She whispered, but it was clear enough to be heard in the whole room since the rain has stopped. Her head tilted. Jaw loose from her mouth with blood dripping out of it. Tears started running down her cheeks. Dark red tears. And her skin rotting so much that you could see flesh from within. Blood runs down her arms.

I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. Knowing if I do anything, it will be the end of me. But I can't just stand here and look at it in silence. I could hear water dripping from the faucet in the bathroom. I could hear her every breath. I could hear my heart pounding fast. I looked at my bedroom door and without a doubt ran as fast as I could. I didn't look back but I did hear her screeching. Before I knew it I was in my room, with my door locked and phone in my hand.

There's no way out of here but through that door. And behind that door is something I don't want to be in a room with. Windows are sealed with metal bars from the outside. Even if I could managed to break the bars, there's no way I'm going to jump off the third floor.

Suddenly, she was pounding on my door. The lock would easily break and in a few seconds she'll get in. The space below my bed is too small for me to hide in. The closet is the only place I could hide in. I grabbed the crucifix above my bed and ran off and hid inside an old, wooden closet. I was never the religious but I clutched the crucifix close to me, on my chest. Reciting prayers I was never used to saying. Lord help me. I repeatedly beg as I heard the door swing open. This isn't what I pictured having a girl in my apartment. Oh God am I really this unlucky? Did I just summon a demon? The old woman is right. This place is haunted. I should've stayed somewhere else, in a different apartment. Or my parents' house. I never should've dropped that damn spoon!

I kept myself quiet despite trembling in fear. Minutes of waiting felt like hours, like years, trapped in the closet. Until I have gathered enough courage to peek outside the closet. I reached my phone out with the flashlight on. Nothing. It's gone. She's gone. And left the door open. It's my chance to- The closet door violently swings open as a hand grabbed me from behind. It covered my mouth and dragged me towards it. Back inside the closet. It dragged me with force more than I could hold back. Until I'm inside the closet again. I could feel her breathing on my neck as I fade into the darkness.

I woke up in the emergency room of a hospital, inside a room with curtains for walls. In here a nurse was monitoring my heart rate through a machine. "Doc, gising na po yung pasyente." Said the nurse. "Ah mabuti naman, tawagin mo na yung kasama niya." The voice of the doctor came from the other side of the curtain. I have no idea of what happened. I tried to speak but no voice came out of my mouth. I couldn't move either. As the nurse left, a familiar woman came in. My eyes widened. Heart started pounding again in fear when I realized it's her. The girl from last night.

"Huwag kang mag-alala." she said as she closed the curtains behind her. "Akong bahala sa'yo." She sat beside the bed, opened my hand, gave me a spoon and made me drop it. "Oops..."

"May bisita ka."

[dpinoycosmonaut]

GUIAO’S REQUEST FOR REINFORCEMENTS, PBA’S REFUSAL TRIGGER SBP’S WITHDRAWAL

by Bert A. Ramirez / July 29, 2018

               There’s more than meets the eye in the decision by the Samahang Basketbol ng Pilipinas to withdraw the country’s participation in basketball in the 2018 Asian Games to be held next month in Indonesia.

               Off hand, critics have pounced on the SBP for what they felt was a sudden, seemingly impulsive decision that puts the country in bad light considering there are just barely three weeks left before the games start on August 18.  I myself was critical of the decision as I felt the country’s primary goal under the circumstances – with 10 of its regular national team players suspended by the FIBA (no matter if that suspension did not apply to the Asiad) – was not to win but to give a decent representation for the Philippines.

               But looking at the circumstances more closely, one gets the feeling that, maybe, the decision is at least understandable given the factors that made the country’s basketball stakeholders decide to make one PBA club – Rain or Shine – represent the country in the Games in the first place.

               When that decision was made, which was based on Rain or Shine’s being the top team in the eliminations of the ongoing Commissioner’s Cup, and team owners Terry Que and Raymond Yu agreed to assume the responsibility, it was also agreed that former Elastopainters coach Yeng Guiao be made to assume the role of head coach.  So the SBP and the PBA board were one in the thinking that “one team” would represent the Philippines in the Asiad, as a PBA board meeting confirmed last Thursday, July 26.

               Guiao, however, was hoping that he could get some reinforcements from other PBA teams in addition to the core of the ROS squad and listed six players as possible reinforcements – June Mar Fajardo of San Miguel Beer, Greg Slaughter and Jeff Chan of Giñebra, Paul Lee of Magnolia, John Paul Erram of Blackwater and Stanley Pringle of GlobalPort.  The veteran coach was aware though that getting Fajardo as well as Slaughter and Chan was a long shot given the fact that the three were playing for the Beermen and the Gin Kings in the finals, although getting two or three reinforcements would make him feel better that the country would be better represented.  He rationalized his thinking when he said the Philippines would be playing not just club teams – as most of the squads the Ateneo Blue Eagles played in the recent Jones Cup were – but full-fledged national teams.

               “Rain or Shine is one of the top teams in the PBA and it has a strong lineup.  But remember, pagpunta ng Rain or Shine sa Asian Games, hindi naman mga kapwa ballclubs ang kakalabanin namin (kundi) mga national teams ng ibang bansa (when Rain or Shine goes to the Asian Games, it’s not fellow club teams that we would be fighting but the national teams of other countries),” Guiao explained.  “Kung makakalaban namin ay may (Hamed) Haddadi na NBA veteran at lampas seven feet, mas maigi siguro kung may makakatulong kina Raymond Almazan at Beau (Belga) (If we would be fighting a team with a Haddadi who is an NBA veteran and over seven feet tall, it might be better if there’s somebody who can help Raymond Almazan and Beau).  If we cannot get the reinforcements, we simply can’t compete.”

               It was against this backdrop that the PBA board held a meeting to confirm the country’s Asian Games participation through ROS last Thursday.  When SBP president Al Panlilio and PBA commissioner Willie Marcial presided over a press conference at the end of that meeting, there was no mention whatsoever of Guiao’s request being turned down, but both confirmed that the PBA stuck to the original agreement to send only one team to the Asiad, which means the Elastopainters with no reinforcements.  Reading between the lines then, Guiao’s wish of getting even two or three reinforcements was set aside.

               The PBA’s thinking was clear.  It agreed to send players from only one team to the Asian Games to minimize disruption in the league’s schedule for the coming Governors Cup that starts on August 17.

               “In the last board meeting, one team lang para hindi masira ang schedule, TNT, hindi puwede, ‘yung No. 1 team (ROS), pumayag, siya ang kinuha.  One team lang talaga ang policy nun (only one team so the schedule won’t be disrupted, TNT can’t be tapped, the No. 1 team agreed, it was taken.  One team only was really the policy then),” Marcial himself said.  He then explained that with ROS representing the country, it’s only the Elastopainters’ schedule that the PBA would be adjusting, emphasizing that ROS would in fact be making a big sacrifice as it would then be playing games in succession once it came back from the Asiad.

               Once the PBA board’s decision on reinforcements had been firmed up, the SBP then called an emergency meeting with basketball godfather Manny Pangilinan late Thursday night and finally decided to pull the plug on the country’s participation in the Asiad, apparently convinced it wouldn’t do the country much good if it couldn’t send a competitive team to the quadrennial meet, where coach Chot Reyes’ Gilas Pilipinas team floundered with a seventh-place finish in 2014.  Present in that meeting with MVP were Panlilio himself, SBP executive director Sonny Barrios, Reyes, Guiao and Rain or Shine coach Caloy Garcia who would have acted as Guiao’s assistant.

               Once the SBP announced that decision on social media, the PBA was quick to disown any knowledge of that decision and stressed that it was always supportive of the national team’s cause.  Magnolia governor Rene Pardo, for one, stressed that the PBA never denied any call for help from the league.

               “Di naman kami tumangging tumulong (We didn’t refuse to help),” Pardo said, choosing to be pragmatic.  “Ang sakit na nagre-review kami ng budget, bumababa yung mga gate revenues (ng PBA) (It hurts that while we are reviewing the budget, the gate revenues of the PBA are going down).  At the same time, we’re still offering to help flag and country dahil alam namin ang importance niyan (because we know the importance of that).  Nakakatulong din sa PBA – kapag maganda ang performance ng Philippines, maganda rin ang epekto sa (liga). Handa kaming tumulong, so ‘di niyo puwedeng sabihin na magmamaramot kami sa flag and country (It also helps the PBA – if the performance of the Philippines is good, the effect on the league is also good.  We’re ready to help, so you can’t say that we are selfish to flag and country).”

               The controversial Giñebra governor and San Miguel Group sports director Alfrancis Chua even took the credit for convincing ROS ownership to lend its team for the country’s participation in the Asian Games. “I’m the one who talked to Raymond Yu, sabi ko, ‘Pare baka gusto mong sumali?’ ‘Sige pag-isipan namin,’ pumayag siya (I said, ‘Brother, you might want to participate?’  ‘All right, we’ll think about it,’ he agreed).  That’s the story,” Chua said.  “Sabi ayaw magpahiram?  Actually po, a couple of months ago nung umupo si Mr. Ricky Vargas as (PBA) chairman, ako ang nagsabi na tanggalin ang one (player) per team – kahit ilan ang gusto sa SMB Group, magpapahiram kami.  You can ask the board, wala nang pilian.  I-full blast na ‘to (They say we don’t want to lend players?  Actually, when Mr. Ricky Vargas sat as chairman a couple of months ago, it was I who said let’s remove the one (player) limit per team – however many they want from the SMC Group, we would lend.  You can ask the board, there won’t be any more picking.  Let’s make this full blast).”

               Chua, however, might be missing the point here. Guiao, the chosen coach, wanted some reinforcements from other teams, and the PBA refused.  Now tell us who is at fault here.  And let’s just confine ourselves to this Asian Games stint, or its aborted version, that is.  Let’s not even mention other national team commitments as that would just muddle the whole issue of this particular case.  Fair enough?

(Photo from fastbreak.com.ph)

[jxhnnyvincent]

Johnny Vincent Fanfic: She is All Hart

Chapter Two: The Girl's Dorm

Delilah Hart made her way out of the principal's office to discover more students on school grounds in her perspective. Little did she know she happened to be the subject of many speculated rumors. Most of them happened to be stimulated from the famous gossip girls in the school.

Angie Ng and Christy Martin were observant of the girl, commenting on the way she appeared. They wouldn't deny that she was pretty with her long blonde hair that met to her back and the flow of her dress as she walked. Her heels clicked beneath her knee high boots as she continued to walk. Delilah noticed their stares and formed a smile, already feeling weird about this school. The iconic best friends returned the same expression, considering they were non-clique girls. If it was a girl in a clique however it would of been a much meaner greeting.

Delilah stopped in her tracks, realizing she had no clue where the girls dorm was as well as her classes.

These girls seem friendly enough, she thought. She turned to them, approaching the two girls. They wore similar uniforms, although it was slightly different. Angie wore a white blouse, with a forrest green dress with suspenders over it. It was similar to the uniform Gloria had on earlier. Her black hair was trimmed to shoulder length, braided into two. She wore glasses that also seemed to fit her face perfectly, just like Gloria. Christy on the other hand didn't wear glasses and was very attractive in appearance. Her eyeliner was drawn in a sharp cat wing, matching her dark brown eyes. They were a bit taller compared to Delilah, probably by a few inches.

"Hello." Christy greeted bubbly and outgoing.

"Hi, do you know where the Girl's dorm is by any chance?" She asked them.

"Why yes, follow us." Delilah followed them on the way out to school. Her eyes scanned her surroundings carefully, studying every one she could potentially meet. She recognised a couple guys wearing similar polo shirts, who's eyes all met with the girl. Their mouths gaped open of the blonde beauty, watching her as her hips swayed as she walked.

"What is your name?" Christy asked, in the mood for a chat.

"I'm Delilah Hart, and who are you?"

"I'm Christy Martin."

"And I am Angie Ng." The other clarified.

Delilah nodded in response. She followed them towards the center of the academy that divided the boys dorm and the girls dorm. They were parallel from each other, being within a greater distance.

"So where did you come from- oh my god, that sounded rude I'm so sorry!" Christy attempted to ask.

"That wasn't rude!" Delilah reassured.

"And I am from Indianapolis."

"Ooh, a big city! Is it fun there?" Christy asked.

Delilah shook her head. It was cute how people had all of these assumptions made about a state or city they have never been to. Indiana consisted of cornfields and rusty old tractors. Some cities did sweep across the state, but they were a bit boring and the same scenery was painted on it.

"It's kind of boring, I mean since I was so used to it." She admitted to the chirpy redhead.

"That's how I feel about Bullworth! I hate it here! It's so boring, there isn't that much to gossip about!" Christy complained. Angie rolled her eyes at her dramatic best friend.

"There is plenty to gossip about, it's just nothing ever happens here in this town." Angie chimed in. The girls made it inside the dorm, and Delilah couldn't believe her very eyes. She felt like she could go color blind just looking at the dorm rooms. All over the dorms pink rugs scattered the floor neatly with tiny designs looped in flowers all over them. The walls were a baby pink, with most of the furniture a darker pink.

Pink Pink Pink- she wore this dorm belonged to the Pink Panther.

"What dorm room number do you have?" Angie asked. Delilah looked at her sheet, pointing out that it was upstairs.

"I have dorm number six."

"Oh you have the same one as me! And Eunice Pound. She's a bit on the heavier side, but she's alright! Also weird." Christy informed. Delilah nodded in response.

"I have the dorm room across the hall from you, I share it with Beatrice Trudeau. She's one of the nerds, it kind of sucks because she snores at night." Angie said with a frown.

Coming down the stairs revealed Mrs. Peabody, one of the female prefects. She was older, and to be quite frank, possibly around Dr. Crabblesnitch's age. Maybe even the same. She wore a dark red plaid skirt that went down to her knees, with a gray blouse to go with it. Her hair would of been black, but was splotches with silver streaks, demonstrating her signs of aging.

"Who's that?" Delilah whispered, unsure if it was a teacher or prefect.

"That's Mrs. Peabody, she's the female prefect here. She's a tad strict with the rules in the dorm." Angie whispered back.

"We will leave you to deal with her." Christy decided, grabbing her friend before Delilah could say anything. Mrs. Peabody took consideration of the new arrival, squinting to adjust her poor eyesight. She propped her glasses into place to enhance her vision better.

She spoke as she approached the girl closer. "You must be the Miss Hart, hmm?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Well hello there," she greeted politely, "It's nice to finally see a young lady arriving in Bullworth Academy. I am Mrs. Peabody, the female authority of the dorm. I personally believe this should of been an all girls school, seeing how boys behave terribly."

Delilah nodded in agreement to ignore conflict that could be followed by this.

"What dorm room number do you have sweetie?" She asked.

"Dorm room number six." Delilah answered.

"Oh that's right upstairs. Come along now, I'll lead the way." She offered, astonishing the girl at how fast she could walk up the stairs for her age. When she made it to her dorm room, she was in awe of how appealing it looked. The walls as well as the bedding were a salmon color, being quite radiant in saturation. Three twin sized beds were present in the room with two on each side with one on the other. Delilah took it she was stuck with the only one by itself, as it was neatly folded and not at all touched by one fingerprint.

"Sorry if the room is a bit untidy, some of the girls forget to clean up after themselves." Mrs. Peabody apologized. Delilah waved her hand off, dismissing the unnessary apology. In her perspective the room was clean, except maybe a couple text books were on the ground. But that didn't matter to Delilah.

"It's okay."

"I guess that's it for now, except I need to inform you of the rules that cannot be violated at any time," she began, grasping her attention.

"Rule number one: there will absolutely be no boys present in any dorm rooms, period! It is extremely prohibited! If there is any boy, you and him will be serving one full week detention. Rule number two: no untidy rooms, as you already know from what I just said. Rule number three: no goofing off! Remember that studies are much more important for ladies than contributing foolish nonsense. And lastly, rule number four: do not care violate being out at night or up past curfew. When the clock strikes 11, you must stay in bed!"

"Do I make myself clear?" Mrs. Peabody asked, making sure the new girl understood the priorities in the dorm room.

Delilah nodded her head in response. This pleased the female prefect, happy she didn't need to repeat herself nor deal with impeccable behavior.

"Good, I'm glad you understand. Your school uniform should already be in your wardrobe. There's a few to choose from, but it doesn't matter what you wear as long as it has the Bullworth crest. Goodbye for now, and if you ever need anything, just ask me." She persisted.

"Okay."

She pursed her lips. "Have a wonderful first day at the academy, Miss Hart."

Mrs. Peabody has left her alone, leaving her so she could unpack and become settled here.

[joroanblog]

Essentials and also current advances of two dimensional- polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis

Abstract

  Gel- based proteomics is one of one of the most flexible methods for fractionating protein facilities. Amongst these approaches, 2 dimensional- polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis (2-DE) stands for a pillar orthogonal strategy, which is widely used to all at once fractionate, determine, and measure proteins when combined with mass spectrometric identification or various other immunological examinations. Although 2-DE was first introduced greater than 3 decades earlier, a number of challenges and restrictions to its utility still exist. This testimonial goes over the concepts of 2-DE in addition to both recent methodological advancements as well as new applications. Introduction

  Two dimensional polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis (2-DE) is taken into consideration a powerful device made use of for separation as well as fractionation of complex protein combinations from cells, cells, or other organic samples. It enables splitting up of hundreds to hundreds of proteins in one gel. This strategy became extra popular and also detailed after the prime advances and high resolution 2-DE adjustment [1] In fact, the modification established by O'Farrell enabled 2-DE method to deal with up to 5000 protein- standing for areas in an even 2 dimensional circulation and allowed exact splitting up of protein places with high precision [2] 2-DE technique is considered to be among the leading powers in the growth of proteomics as well as protein studies. It provides the initial step for further evaluation of the differentially controlled protein spots using mass spectrometry and western blotting. Making use of 2-DE has actually been efficiently defined in a lot of cases to reveal both physiological systems as well as healthy proteins associated with professional pathologies that can aid in the exploration of biomarkers. Basic principles of 2-DE Idea of 2-DE

  2-DE is composed mainly of two actions of separation; first measurement and also 2nd dimension. In the very first measurement, protein molecules are resolved relying on their isoelectric factor (pI) [2] Separation of proteins under a pH slope enables intense band recovering using different techniques such as immobilized slope electrophoresis (IPEG), isoelectric focusing (IEF), or non-equilibrium pH slope electrophoresis (NEPHGE). In the 2nd measurement, protein splitting up is done based on molecular weight making use of SDS Laemmli or Tris-Tricine barriers. Due to the fact that it is unlikely that different protein particles may have the very same physicochemical buildings (pI and also MW), proteins are successfully separated by 2-DE rather than 1D-SDS PAGE [2] A prominent advantage of 2-DE is that the resolution gotten throughout the very first dimensional separation is not missed in the second electrophoresis when IEF gel strip is linked to the SDS- PAGE gel [2, 3] Applications and energies of 2-DE

  2-DE is an effective and widely utilized technique for evaluation of intricate protein mixes with exceptional ability to separate hundreds of proteins at once. It provides direct aesthetic verification of changes in protein/post-translational modifications (PTMs) wealth, thus offering early reason for downstream logical actions with discovering post- and also co-translational alterations, which can not be forecasted from the genomic series. Other applications of 2-DE consist of whole proteome analysis [4], cell differentiation [5], discovery of biomarkers as well as illness pens, drug discovery, cancer research [6], bacterial pathogenesis [7], purity checks, microscale protein purification, as well as product characterization. Advantages and toughness of 2-DE Effectiveness

  Throughout the last few years, a number of methodological enhancements have added to enhance the toughness of 2-DE workflows. Using incapacitated isoelectric concentrating (IEF) strips, ampholytes- based buffers, very delicate dyes, as well as gel imaging software application made the irregularity most likely from upstream process such as protein loss throughout extraction [8] In a recent multi-laboratory research on the expediency of 2-DE, it is reported that 70-93% of areas were discovered with coefficient of variant (CVs) less than 20% within same laboratory scientists [9] On the other hand, 72% of areas revealed CVs with less than 20% throughout labs [9] This searching for verifies the feasibility and also the effectiveness of 2-DE. In addition, 2-DE becomes much less variable when multiplexing electrophoresis developed. Differentially identified examples perform at the exact same time decreased the opportunity of artefacts arised from technical errors. Lastly, the recent improvements of the gel image analysis lessened the former high portion of place identification failure estimated to get to 60% which thought about among the significant factors to irregularity seen with 2-DE [10] Visualized mapping analysis

  One of the one-of-a-kind features of 2-DE is its ability to deal with undamaged full-length proteins (approximately 5000 protein) in a solitary gel. This includes pictured detection of the physico-chemical homes such as MW and pI with possible metrology based on the spot intensity [8] Healthy proteins of interest could be characterized using peptide mass finger printing or when penetrated with antibodies. Moreover, 2-DE enables separation as well as identification of PTMs and also protein isoforms (Figure 1). In several instances, PTMs could be identified by horizontal or vertical moving of a protein place as these adjustments usually change the protein MW and also pI [11] Compatible platform for further evaluation

  2-DE gel easily and also successfully couples with numerous various other evaluation and also biochemical techniques. Hence, it supplies a suitable platform for succeeding evaluation. For example, stained gels can be followed by place excision, destaining, protein extraction, food digestion, and also evaluation of the tryptic peptides by mass spectrometry. Although coomassie blue could be reversibly destained as well as suitable with mass spectrometry, silver discoloration, it is not suitable as a result of the usage of formaldehyde or glutaraldehyde during the repairing and also sensitization step that causes lysine deposit cross-linking within the protein chain interfering MS analysis and thus will certainly prevent trypsin digestion [12, 13] Numerous alterations in the silver nitrate stain technique were performed to overcome this downside. Compatibility of 2-DE consists of bottom-up proteomics to determine proteins and identify their amino acid sequences or additionally continued by the top-down proteomics (shotgun) in which the crude healthy proteins remove is absorbed directly for evaluation. In an additional powerful mix, antibody- based evaluation could be coupled before or after 2-DE For example, immune-affinity filtration can be utilized to pre-fractionate a protein of rate of interest before running 2-DE such as phosphorylated [2] or ribonucleoproteins [14] Many commonly, 2-DE fractionated proteins are subjected to either in-gel food digestion to prepare tryptic peptides for mass spectrometric analysis or gels are confirmed for protein of passion using western blotting [15] Limitations of 2-DE. Low reproducibility

  In the traditional method of the initial measurement IEF, the service provider ampholytes is used to build pH slope. The provider ampholytes-based pH slope made from soft unsupported tube gels (commonly 4% acrylamide) is not stable. There is set to batch irregularity and vulnerable to cathodic drift (a progressive loss of fundamental proteins throughout lengthy running of electro-focusing under electric area), causing low reproducibility as well as calling for mindful surveillance of electric field [2] Replacement of carrier ampholyte-based pH gradient in tube gel with the incapacitated pH slopes (IPG) was the essential advancement in boosting the reproducibility of 2-DE [16, 17] Difficulty in separating hydrophobic and also extremely acidic or fundamental proteins Various sorts of healthy proteins can constantly be missing out on, because of the trouble in separating membrane- bound (hydrophobic) and severe healthy proteins [18, 19] Especially, extremely acidic or basic proteins are neither conveniently removed neither solubilized. This problem in removal depends primarily on the solubilization power of the buffer utilized in the IEF step. Numerous initiatives have actually been carried out for better solubilization of membrane layer healthy proteins using different chaotropes or cleaning agents. For immediate, Triton X- 114 and also CHAPS showed a powerful recuperating power in the direction of hydrophobic proteins on 2-DE when checked immunologically [20] An additional study reported the use of cationic detergent benzyldimethyl-n-hexadecylammonium chloride to boost settling hydrophobic healthy proteins with GRAVY index as reduced as 0.56 [21] Comparable renovation was reported when using detergents such as DHPC [22] and also 1,4-dithioethanol [23] Although solubilization of wide variety of healthy proteins could be achieved using denaturating option (Urea and also Thiourea) and zwitterionic detergents (SB 3-- 10) [24], resistance of specific healthy proteins still stays an integrated problem [2, 24] Slim vibrant variety of 2-DE

  Reduced vibrant series of healthy proteins is one of the tough problems run into during 2-DE. Very plentiful peptides mask reduced plentiful ones, which may be reflective of reduced plentiful healthy proteins. In addition, the visualization of pale protein areas (reduced bountiful) separated on 2-DE gels is likewise governed by tarnishing sensitivity. For example, classic coomassie has a narrow vibrant array with discovery limitation of only regarding 100 ng. Colloidal coomassie is fairly higher in level of sensitivity with discovery limit 10 ng. The vibrant array could be enhanced to a discovery degree below 1 ng with the availability of highly sensitive silver-staining method [12] and a variety of fluorescence dyes such as SYPRO-Ruby and Deep purple flurophore dyes (Figure 2). Consequently, making use of delicate tarnish boosts protein sample dynamic range, causes effective gel imaging, and also finally leads to successful mass spectrometric recognition and immunological recognition [11] Additionally, exhaustion of highly abundant proteins such as albumin and also hemoglobin considerably improves the dynamic range of 2-DE by permitting better focusing and also mass spectrometric picking (see Prefractionation, enrichment, and deficiency before 2-DE section). Therefore, the limited detection sensitivity of 2-DE does not handle the real dynamic series of protein concentration in cell and tissue removes, or biological liquids [2] Various other service to get rid of the dynamic array issue is to fill more protein example and also using a huge 2-DE gel (24 centimeters). Nonetheless, this method could lead to manufacturing of jammed photos with non well-separated spots. Reduced throughput and also labor- intensiveness

  2-DE is labor-intensive and also has a loved one reduced throughput. The throughput of 2-DE is adequate for lots of small standard research study studies, however it may provide a major challenge for jobs that involve testing of a great deal of scientific examples. In addition, 2-DE requires skills and experience to combat any feasible problem capturing because of the procedural artifacts. Much care needs to be thought about to decrease the variations throughout example processing that lasts up to 3 days in larger gels. Recent advancements and also modern technologies related to 2-DE 2D- DIGE

  The growth of image technology has actually presented differential imaging gel electrophoresis (DIGE) strategy. This method was designed in an effort to boost sensitivity and reproducibility of 2-DE making use of multiplexed fluorescent dyes- labeled protein samples. 2D-DIGE is based mainly on running more than one example (optimum 3 samples) on a single gel simultaneously to attend to the concern of gel-to gel irregularity. In this technique, different fluorescent cyanine (Cy) dyes are used for labeling proteins from various examples [25] After blending these examples in equal proportion and also running them together as one sample, very same protein from different samples migrates to the exact same position on the 2D gel where it could be conveniently explored and differentiated by the different fluorophore-labeled color and also imaged to determine its wealth. 2D-DIGE is an important device, specifically for medical research laboratories involved in the resolution of protein expression levels and disease biomarker discovery. When outright biological variant between samples is the main objective, as in biomarker discovery, 2D-DIGE is just one of the approaches of option. Prefractionation, enrichment, and also depletion before 2-DE

  Protein sample prefractionation before 2-DE has been executed to reduce sample complexity. Because of this, the reduced wealth healthy proteins existing in these fractions will be clearly stood for in 2-DE. Proteins identified in the prefractionated examples have a higher number of peptides. Additionally, low molecular weight healthy proteins can be clearly detected when example intricacy is minimized [26] Prefractionation eventually increases filling capability of samples onto the 2-DE gel and also results in much better resolution, visualization and also recognition. Test prefractionation can be done in several various methods, broadly subdivided right into three levels: mobile, subcellular and also protein subfractionation [27] For example, mobile extraction is a generalized method to screen the entire proteome of an offered example. A removal barrier having urea and also thiourea with NP-40 generally recuperates most healthy proteins [24] In subcellular prefractionation, a thickness gradient (isopycnic) centrifugation technique [28], or additionally tissue filters as well as buffers technique is utilized to homogenate a given tissue followed by using careful solvents to dissolve mitochondrial, ER-golgi, or nuclear proteins [29] Protein subfractionation based upon its physico-chemical residential properties is an additional degree of fractionation. This method could be made use of to fractionate proteins based on their charge such as strong cation exchange (SCX) approach [30] or based upon their pI such as Liquid stage IEF Zoom ® prefractionator [31] Enrichment of protein of rate of interest that exists in the sample in low wealth such as phosphorylated healthy proteins (represents 3-4%) might be crucial before 2-DE. For example, in one of our experiments to identify tyrosine phosphorylated glomerular healthy proteins related to slit diaphragm, samples were immunoprecipitated making use of protein A- Sepharose then subjected to 2-DE [32] Relying on the nature of the example, biological liquids such as plasma as well as urine may require elimination of specific proteins (albumin or hemoglobin) to increase the resolution of splitting up before 2-DE. On the downstream mass spectrometric degree, the excess of highly tryptic peptides created from these abundant proteins bias the identification in the direction of these healthy proteins on the cost of lower bountiful ones. In contrast, depletion increases peptides record opportunities of reduced bountiful healthy proteins [33, 34] Blue native Gel electrophoresis for membrane layer proteins studies

  Blue-Native polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis (Blue Native PAGE) was initially presented by Schagger and von Jagow as a method for separating enzymatically energetic membrane protein complexes under mild condition [35] In this approach, the anionic dye Coomassie Brilliant Blue G-250 (5% w/v) is mixed with the protein sample prior to gel loading. This color has the capacity to offer negative charges to the surface area of the protein. It induces a fee change that boosts solubilization of hydrophobic proteins especially membrane intrinsic electron/proton transfer facilities in mitochondria giving an international analysis of membrane proteomics. The dye binds to protein complexes as well as both move during electrophoresis. Lastly, the gels are stained with coomassie dye once more prior to mass evaluation. A current application for this strategy was productive in identifying specific substances within protein intricacies of inflammasomes [36] as well as integrin and also histone facilities in placenta [37] In addition to its capability to unveil protein intricacies, this technique permits much better splitting up of hydrophobic healthy proteins (membrane proteins) also [38] 2-DE for article translational modifications (PTMs).

  The evaluation of protein post-translational adjustments (PTMs) has actually become an important topic for the research study of cell biology, condition treatment, as well as disease avoidance. 2-DE supplies a straight monitoring of protein PTMs in gels in addition to its relative abundance. Publicly readily available online devices such as ProMoST [39] and also JVirGel [40] could be used for that function. In addition, specific staining dyes for PTM surveillance were established and also ended up being extensively applied in the proteome researches. In phosphoproteome study, molecular Probes, Pro-Q ® Diamond phosphoprotein gel tarnish is a development innovation that gives a precise technique for uniquely tarnishing phosphoproteins in polyacrylamide gels. Likewise, for glycoproteomics, readily available fluorescent dye; Lissamine rhodamine B sulfonyl hydrazine (LRSH) was presented to particularly stain the glycoproteins. This tarnish relays on periodate/Schiff base mechanism. Unlike traditional approaches used for the characterization of PTMs such as the enrichment methods either with antibodies or paralyzed material, lectin's binding strategy, or chemical based techniques, 2-DE deals a logical device with high resolution and also high reproducibility by taking the benefit of the well known adjustment in pI and also MW caused by several modifications [41] Outlines on the kinds and also current schedule of 2-DE.

  First dimension electrophoresis. The initial dimension electrophoresis can be performed making use of ionic substances, which reacts as acid or base and also is termed as provider ampholyte pH slope. It could be blended and enhanced for vast or more limited pH arrays. Numerous techniques for IEF could be applied in the first measurement electrophoresis as discussed below. Conventional IEF.

  The traditional approach of IEF depends upon the carrier ampholyte where proteins migrate in an option media up until getting to the stability state when its web charge equals to no. Proteins that are in a pH area below its isoelectric factor (pI) will be positively billed and will move in the direction of the cathode. As it migrates with a gradient of boosting pH, nonetheless, the protein's total charge will reduce until the protein reaches the pH region that corresponds to its pI. Now, the migration stops. As a result, the proteins end up being concentrated into sharp fixed bands with each protein positioned at a point in the pH slope corresponding to its pI. [2] Although this traditional technique is simple to prepare and also do not require much casting tools, it has a major drawback as the ampholytes have some susceptibility to stream towards cathode as well as this slope flow typically creates a decrease in the reproducibility. Immobilized pH slope (IPG).

  Paralyzed pH gradient strip (IPG) is an integrated part of polyacrylamide gel matrix fixed on a plastic strip. Co-polymerization of a set of non-amphoteric buffers with different chemical properties is included [2, 42] A prepared- made IPG strips are available with different lengths and also pI. Usually, short length IPG strips are used for quick screening while much longer one for maximal and thorough analysis. Various designs of 2- DE gels are received Figure 3. An industrial pre-casted acrylamide gel matrix co-polymerized with a pH gradient on a plastic strip causes a secure pH worth over the conventional ampholyte approach. It has an ability to stay clear of cationic build-up and also to generate a better-focused protein with much less smearing [2, 42] There are lots of various other advantages of using IPG strips over ampholytes such as decreased cathodic drift, greater mechanical toughness as the strips are casted on a plastic support that reducing gel damage, as well as greater protein packing ability because of the example loading technique [17, 43] look at this site electrophoresis protein

Business Name: Helena Laboratories Address: 1530 Lindbergh Dr, Beaumont, TX 77707, United States Phone No: +1 409-842-3714

[angeltriestoblog]

Sophomore year recap, vol. 1

Funny how I only ever go on this blog to give sporadic life updates, which are honestly just lengthier versions of what goes on my Instagram dump. But, I'd hate to let this practice die—plus, I love to write, so it continues for another year. I recently wrapped up my first semester of sophomore year—yet another testament to how fast time flies by—and it's safe to presume that it was the most rewarding chapter of my stay in Ateneo, thus far. I admit I did spend most of my freshman year in my comfort zone (while still managing to make my fair share of rookie mistakes, go me!). Although I don't completely blame myself for not being able to adjust from the get-go, I do admit that my life would have been much easier if I didn't take so long to warm up to the idea of embracing change and taking risks. Upon realizing this, there was a certain pressure that came with it to make up for lost time and try to do as much I could before my body eventually gives out.

For starters, I became more active in the three organizations I am a member of, all of which demanded so much of my energy, and pushed my brain power and time management skills to the test, but were very fulfilling to be in nonetheless. (A little note from Editing Angel: This is where this post starts to look a little bit like a LinkedIn profile.)

I signed up to be a part of the Sanggunian, the student government of the University, under the Commission on Mental Health, since I am an advocate for challenging the stigma that surrounds this issue, as well as providing the proper support to those who need it. I was eventually put under Secretariat, where I was in charge of the databases and documents, taking minutes of the meeting, and updating attendance and post trackers. Although it wasn't the department I had originally planned on getting into, I did enjoy learning about the more technical side of the team and took pride in the fact that I was able to put some of the lessons I learned in ITM over intersession to good use. And by that I mean conditional formatting, but whatever ok!

But, at some point the forces of the universe decided to pull some strings and bring me to my first choice: Humans of Ateneo (HOA), a page that aims to share stories of those within the Ateneo community with the hopes of inspiring others. To this day, I work there as a literary editor, who is basically in charge of transcribing recordings of interviews and turning them into the text posts our audience sees on their Facebook timelines. I love what I do right now, because not only do I feel endlessly inspired by each story of resilience I encounter, but also fulfilled since I am partly responsible for getting that story out there for the rest of the world to see. But, I guess it wouldn't be entirely wrong to say that my favorite story so far has to be Mayor Vico Sotto's, especially because HOA Core (minus Marice, and plus Yanna) and I travelled all the way to Pasig City Hall to hear it from him in the flesh. I can confirm that he is definitely more good-looking in person, that he establishes eye contact when he speaks, and that he is one of the most insightful and substantial human beings I've ever met.

Since being a part of the team, I have also had access to opportunities both within the sub-commission and Sanggu, as a whole. I've been given leadership positions that allowed me to step up to the plate, one of which was directing a video we launched in celebration of World Mental Health Day. My co-project head Bel and I had to conceptualize it from scratch based solely on a spoken word poem given to us, and plan and plot its shooting over the course of one week—definitely a feat given our conflicts in schedule, and the unpredictable weather. Next year, I'll be pretty hands-on when it comes to manning the Peer Support Group of our commission, as I have been assigned as a member of the core team, so that's definitely something to watch out for.

I've attended active listening workshops to help me be better in tending to the needs of others: by either providing them with a newfound support system, or sharing sound advice. I was a part of the sub-core team behind Humans of Ateneo: IRL, where prestigious alumni were invited to speak on their journeys, much like three HOA posts come to life. I also ended up emceeing a freshman drug talk all by myself, because I was only informed at the very last minute that my co-host had other commitments to attend to. I remember practically shaking from the nerves and squealing right in front of the speakers that day, but I managed to pull through with more confidence and less awkward finger guns than I thought possible.

I think this is the org where I took the most initiative and was therefore the busiest, but I didn't mind at all because I was surrounded by such wonderful people. I met most of my team over intersession during a workshop that I wasn't even wholeheartedly willing to attend (because it coincided with what was my last chance to catch Ben&Ben live on their Limasawa Street tour), and thus wasn't expecting much out of. But, we meshed so well together almost instantly as we opened up to one another about experiences and secrets we only would have shared to our closest friends. The acceptance and belongingness was palpable from that point on, and it continues to manifest in how strong our bond is right now.

Aside from that, I got in The GUIDON, the University's student publication, as a Features writer. This is going to sound like such a humble brag, but I honestly didn't expect to be accepted. I'm well aware of how rigorous the week-long application process is, I got the news from friends who failed to make the cut and even saw it for myself during the general assembly they held specifically for applicants. I remember checking my e-mail and being greeted by a list of requirements I needed to accomplish for both of the staffs I applied for: mock articles, interviews, live tweets that all needed to show my unique writing style and authentic take on issues both in and outside the four walls of the campus, that were so overwhelming in scope that I had to call up a friend just to yell in her ear for 10 straight minutes. For the next few days after, tears were shed, friends were ghosted, drafts were created then scrapped, fished out of the Recently Deleted folder, and revised in an endless and vicious cycle—I don't think I had ever written as eloquently, gone as long without checking my phone, or listened to only one playlist on loop for literal days prior to those moments, and yet I was still very unsure of my chances because I knew I was up against some tough competition: veteran staffers of high school publications, and liberal arts majors who looked like they had more personality in their thumbs than I did in my entire body. I remember beating myself up for backing out of my second choice (hi Vantage), which would significantly decrease my chances of getting in. It's just that I knew I was incapable of submitting anything that wasn't half-assed at that point, and I couldn't bear to show them anything that I myself could not give an Angel Seal of Approval.

Thankfully, all of my hard work paid off eventually. Only two days after I had submitted the folder containing my requirements to the respective editor, I was working on a paper in a cafe (the table adjacent to the door of Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Robinsons Galleria, to be very exact) when I received the acceptance letter in my inbox. I burst into tears, crumpled to the floor, and replied with the most articulate response I could muster: “SKLDFJSDLKFJSDLKFJSDLFJSLFSDKJ THANK YOU SO MUCH I am literally crying in the middle of this coffee shop.... thank you.... so much....”

As of this writing, I've published two articles under Features: one about the ghosting phenomenon that remains prevalent in romantic relationships, and another about the experiences of Ateneans with autism spectrum disorder. My job honestly feels like both work and a vacation at the same time, because it allows me to talk about a diverse set of topics with interesting people who are experts in the field, while doing what I feel like I'm best at. But, since a part of me will always consider Vantage my TOTGA, I took on some extra work for them and wrote a film review on "G!", a movie that came out as part of the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino earlier this year, which has proven itself to be the worst I've seen in my entire life for reasons I cannot even begin to explain. I didn't necessarily have high expectations of it upon seeing the trailer, but I hyped myself up for it nevertheless. I even bought tickets for me and my friend Christine online because I was afraid that they would be sold out, and we dashed out of our MSYS classroom as soon as our professor said goodbye to book a Grab and hurry to SM North EDSA to make it to our screening... only to barge in the theater and see that we were the only two people in the cinema. I mean, there was one couple in the far corner, but they didn't look very present. In addition to that, I did a food review on a JSEC stall called Chopsticks. I honestly think that food is the most challenging topic to write about, because it's hard to convey how something tastes. When someone asks me to describe the viand I'm eating, I often end up just giving them a spoonful so they can see for themselves. But, I hopped on it anyway, because how could I even say no to sampling an entire menu of Chinese food for free? Several plates of dimsum and chicken later, I gave them a well-deserved five star rating and consider myself as a frequent diner. The experience was made extra fun since I was able to chat with the owner of the business, and my photographer who turned out to be someone I followed on Instagram way back in 2015 and admired for how clean and curated her feed was! (Hi, Kim and Alexis hehe)

As if all of the things mentioned above weren't already enough, I also covered a talk on the future of scientists in the Philippines (which I also have an article on—this goes to show just how diverse the scope of my work can get), attended workshops on feature writing and the relation of journalism and mental health, participated in a rally against professors involved in sexual harassment cases in the Ateneo (pretty badass behavior, if you ask me!), and became a facilitator for a high school publication in this event called Point One. I guess I have The GUIDON to thank for my lack of writer's block: they've managed to keep my brain running on hyperdrive, and my creative juices flowing more than they ever have before.

Last but not the least, of course I chose to stay in my home organization, ACTM. Although I didn’t run for any position or apply to be a part of the Leaders Core (yet), I did my best to make myself visible and show my support in any of the events we participated in or projects that we spearheaded. I signed up as a part of the logistics subcore for the annual Prepcourse, where I helped out with set design and ran some errands for officers in the different booths they manned throughout that day. I honestly have a soft spot for the project, since I remember that the first time I felt genuinely happy during freshman year was during my own Prepcourse (Orsem didn't really do it for me, sorry friends) so even though I missed the chance to be a facilitator, I still wanted to be a part of the event in some way. I also hung out with blockmates and friends all throughout Tambay Week, supported our candidates for Mr. and Ms. SOM, as well as our dance team for RIB eliminations, and dressed up as Kim Possible for the annual Halloween party we held—I was even able to go with Ron Stoppable, thanks to my friend Iverson, who dressed up as him as a surprise.

Although the obvious highlight of my stay in ACTM so far has to be attending LEAP, a three-day leadership training seminar in Iba, Zambales. I remember this particular moment where I was wandering around the beachfront, lowkey frolicking in the water, while my groupmates were playing capture the flag. (In my defense, I was never the physically adept type of person, and knew I'd be helping my team out more if I stayed out of the playing area and cheered on them from the sidelines. But, anyway, I digress.) I could see the golden flecks of sunlight glistening on the waves, and the froth from the seawater hitting my toes, and when I looked back beyond the shore, I saw my friends having fun, running back and forth across the sand. As cliche as it sounds, I couldn't help but mutter to myself, "Wow."

Because at that time last year, I clearly remember being slumped on my couch, scrolling through one LEAP-related IG story after another, feeling this sense of FOMO that I didn't know how to deal with. On one hand, I hated that I wasn't part of something that looked equal parts fun and value-adding, but at the same time, I knew that if I were there, I'd be sticking out like a sore thumb and suffering all the more because I was at the point where social interaction had become physically painful for me. Maybe that's why this LEAP was extra special to me: besides all of the great people I met and the insights I picked up along the way, it served as a reminder of how far I've come, and how much farther I have to go during the rest of my stay in college.

(That honestly would have been the perfect way to end this post, but I have so much more I have to cover. How anti-climactic.)

Aside from my newfound love for organization life, I gained a lot of new friends and strengthened the ties I have with old ones. Back then, I was very selective of those I talked to and let in my circle: I let first impressions get the best of me, or allowed shyness to take center stage every time there was a chance to meet new people. Now, I'm close to both blockmates and batchmates: I go to their birthday celebrations, support events that they're a part of, hang out in their condo units to binge on fastfood, or sometimes just sit on the Matteo Steps with them in the middle of doing requirements to vent for 10 minutes before begrudgingly returning to our tables.

I miraculously also had time to sneak in some pretty fun stuff in my schedule despite my workload. Although I wasn’t able to prioritize making content for this blog, I got my writing on the national paper! It was in the first semester of my freshman year when I heard about Inquirer Youngblood from my English professor. Apparently, they accept essays about any topic under the sun from anyone aged 29 and below. Since I felt there would be no harm in trying, I crafted this little piece that aimed to show a different side of being an only child, as opposed to the “spoiled and entitled” stereotype that is usually stuck on us. I didn’t get my hopes up so as to not be disappointed, so when a couple of days had passed and my article wasn’t showing up on print, I gave up and moved on. Good thing my friend Bea sent me a photo of the September 8 issue of the newspaper (coincidentally the same day I got accepted into The GUIDON!), or else I wouldn’t have seen that I got published. I admit that even though writing is all I’ve ever really known since I was young, I’m not a hundred percent confident in my skill, nor do I always see the purpose behind what I do. But, it’s instances like that, that remind me of why I keep at it.

Another capital-G Great thing that happened was getting tickets to the UAAP men’s basketball championship game! As someone who made Ateneo her dream school at age five because of how much she loved the Blue Eagles, witnessing them end the season with a sweep and a championship was everything to me. And getting to do so with my closest friends in my block just made the experience even better than it was. Also, seeing Renzo Subido play in person—all my friends can attest to the fact that I was facing a huge moral dilemma mid-game, because every time he made a basket, I would end up cheering for him. (With a face like that, how could I not though)

I even found my way back in the gig scene after a long hiatus, with no less than Ang Bandang Shirley, Over October, and Munimuni welcoming me back with open arms. I had got tickets on a whim with my friend from my days as a full-on K-Pop stan, Reanna, even though it was the weekend before a big Accounting exam, if I remember correctly. But, I have no regrets: I have a feeling that very few moments in life can make me feel the way I did when Umaapaw (one of my favorite songs in the world) was being played right in front of me. Surprisingly, I didn't cry when that happened—same for Wait and Sa Hindi Pag-alala, but then again maybe I was too dazed to process what was going on.

I saw Ben&Ben just a week ago, which served as the perfect way to cap off this stressful semester. The last time I saw them was way back in October 2018: conflicts in schedule due to prior commitments, or location issues kept getting in the way that it's like they had to take matters into their own hands and head on over to Ateneo just so I could see them again. Although they didn't perform my favorite song, I can't exactly say that I was disappointed because nothing really beats the feeling of seeing them and singing along to tracks that have served as the soundtrack of my life, and are practically etched on my heart. (I am actually tearing up just writing this paragraph god am I emo! I miss them already, wow! Just wanna hear Araw-Araw live, what do I do about this!)

I also managed to finish all 10 seasons of Friends despite my irregular viewing patterns—I started it during our trip to the States before the school year began, and constantly teetered between watching one or two episodes as a reward for finishing a reading due the next day and binging one season during rare weekends that do not require working on deliverables but honestly could have been used to get ahead in lessons. This is a pretty big deal, considering that I have the attention span of a sleep-deprived cockroach and haven't finished a single White People Show since... well, Austin & Ally back in 2017 (which I actually marathoned on Dailymotion, but that's a story for another day). But, I guess there's just something special about this group of pals going through the motions of their everyday lives in the eccentric, sometimes borderline stupid ways that only they can, because I admit: the emotional investment was and is very, very real! I personally identify myself as a Chandler-Rachel hybrid now (thank you, Iverson), try to see which character the people I meet are like most out of fun, and argue to no end with anyone who ever claims that Ross and Rachel (1) were on a break, and (2) are endgame.

Most importantly, I was able to do all of this and still clinch a spot on the Dean's List. I started this semester on an optimistic note: I found all of my subjects interesting, and the professors who taught them, engaging. I'd even make notes on the readings the day before they were to be discussed in class, complete with pops of color here and there courtesy of my fineliner pens and Stabilo highlighters. But, once I reached the halfway point, my motivation started waning. Papers and quizzes, oral exams and video projects were thrown in my direction at breakneck speed: I often found myself cramming output for the sake of having something to submit, and not even having the time to look at readings due for discussion the following day. It came to a point where I thought of shifting out, because I felt I wasn't doing well enough in my majors to justify my stay. Sounds pretty stupid when I look back at it, I guess I simply mistook extreme stress and fatigue with falling out of love with the only program that I ever wanted to get in when I was applying for Ateneo. Thank God I didn't give up though, or else I wouldn't be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor right now. I honestly wasn't expecting stellar grades, considering the number of extracurricular commitments I took on, but now that they're there, I'm not complaining at all! Shoutout to my favorite professors of the semester: Mam Vaswani, who taught me that there is always room for improvement even in my own area of expertise; Sir Atienza, who made lectures feel like casual kwentuhans (or sometimes even chillnumans); and Sir Rebato, who broke the world record for longest patience in the world.

I guess it's safe to say that I am the happiest and most content I have been in a while, and although I am afraid of jinxing it, I feel like it's only gonna go upward from here. I am beyond excited to see where the new year and semester take me, because I know I'll do my part in making sure it's even better and brighter than this one. If you read up to this point, you deserve a pat on the back! Maybe you only scrolled to this point to see if there were any pictures with your face on them, but who cares! It adds to my website traffic, so thank you, happy holidays, and I wish you nothing but love and light always!

[doshmanziari]

Leave This Body Now, Soulful Thoughts

:has five billion disparate thoughts about videogame: help

Thought #1: Sorry, everyone, but . . . I think Dark Souls 2 might be good. Mind, this has nothing to do with the video people’ve been linking everywhere (I watched about twenty minutes before wishing it were an essay and exiting (Red Letter Media has ruined the format of internet criticism)). It’s just the conclusion I have to make upon plunking [HUGE NUMBER RETRACTED] hours into my latest file. When I sold my original copy, back in late 2014, it was following frustration with a couple of garbage DLC bosses and a general coldness towards the game, and I’m pretty sure that melodramatized my opinions. Even if it’s still a game that shows signs of a troubled, redirected development, and even if its narrative threads often pursue themselves to heavy-handed dead-ends, I’ve come to enjoy many of its changes, and I’m interested in exploring those differentiations with some nuance down the line. It’s not an appreciation that I’m willing to get combative over, really, but some of the sustained criticisms do look overly dismissive or unstable.

Thought #2: If I do ever pitch and publish an essay on Dark Souls 2, it’d probably explore the game’s environmental theme of spatial constrictions and pits. Drangleic is just riddled with tunnels, holes, and spaces that actually are, or recall, caverns. I mean, arguably the most significant covenant, the Pilgrims of Dark, has you project your body into old dripping caverns to light ritual vessels. It’s sort of surprising to’ve not seen this theme picked up, uh, anywhere. I suppose that neglect is one consequence of how appraisals of the level design tend to be guided by broad comparisons to Dark Souls which put a cap on non-qualitative observations almost immediately. No doubt you can get all sorts of psycho-sexual readings out of this theme. What I’d be looking at is how it brings the dungeon-crawler lineage into closer view and gives Drangleic’s anatomy an articulation that contrasts well with those of Lordran and Lothric (although I haven’t figured out what Lothric’s is yet outside of it generally being built like a stepped promenade).

Thought #3: I returned to Dark Souls after months of not playing it -- a long time, personally -- and I’ve gotta say it's even wilder to me now that people played it for so long with a MinMax focus. I’ve gotta assume that the series brought over a bunch of stat nuts and they proceeded to gleefully crack open its numerical body even if the exterior design didn't support it. This is an orientation that makes a bit more sense with the sequels (or even the King’s Field and Shadow Tower series; there, you can't run away from everything, and conflict is slow-paced and often mandatory); not so much the first, whose difficulties can largely be overcome by knowing what's where and how to exploit blindspots. To be clear, I’m not saying anyone is playing these games wrong. FromSoftware built a ton of granularity into the statistical possibilities. It’s just . . . super obvious, after replaying Dark Souls 2, which makes all sorts of reactive adjustments to encounter design, how unequipped Dark Souls’ own design is at dealing with the nimble, MinMaxing player. It’s basically a pursuit unto itself or one that complements speedrunning (and, honestly, Souls speedruns have always struck me as kinda boring).

Thought #4: Somehow I got to watching the “Pure Black” video series on YouTube, featuring two notable Dark Souls players ( . . . what a weird thing to write out), and, like -- yeah, I could focus on the irritating/unfunny parts, but the more I watched the more it was as if I were seeing the game as it’s been mythologized by false/exaggerated characterizations. You know, how a bunch of people’ve gotten it into their heads that Dark Souls is a misanthropic object taking distinct pleasure in destroying the player whenever and wherever, akin to I Wanna Be the Guy. Thanks to several mods here, all enemies are already intent on seeking the host, the Black Phantom variants you’d only see during a Gravelord infection are present, and the players are on NG+7 -- so, many monsters are capable of killing in one or two hits. One net effect is, of course, a heightened difficulty level. The other is a newly mystified atmosphere. Things aren’t where they used to be, monsters have abandoned their designated haunts and roam with aggression, weird technical difficulties sprout up that go hand-in-hand with those already there, the players are pushed into having bizarrely uncomfortable confrontations. The videos best exhibiting this stuff, in my opinion, feature New Londo, Anor Londo, the Catacombs/Tomb of the Giants, and the Demon Ruins/Lost Izalith.

[jcannahq-blog]

( i’m cryi ng she’s so cute ) 

hey guys, i’m kat and i’m super excited to be here !! i had this saved in my drafts since last night, so let’s hope that what i typed then makes sense. ngl, normally i only apply to rps that haven’t opened yet bc it makes plotting and integrating myself into it easier but i thought “ .. fuck it ” and sent in an app so yeah. anyways, this is my ridiculously complex and fucked over sunshine, jojo and i apologize in advance for her lmao. here’s what you should know about her ( tw: death, self-destructive behaviour, adjustment disorder/situational depression ) :

she was born joanna hyejin kang on april 6, 1996

maple ridge, canada born and raised to first gen korean-canadian parents

the epitome of a bitter smol™ that’s ready to fight over anything ( that stubborn brat )

she has twin eight year old siblings that she aDORES, which is a huge deal since she doesn’t care intensely for many people

her parents were both only kids that ventured into science-based careers; her mom was a pharmacist at her late grandparents’ small clinic and her dad was a neurosurgeon at van general hospital. for the area, her family was considered middle/upper-middle class

she wasn’t the best at making friends in her early years and when she did, they didn’t stick around for long

one of the pros of living in close proximity of the gva being there were a ton of kids around so it wasn’t all in vain

also her vanity when she was a kid was prob a turn off for the other kids lol

smart af, like english? a’s. math? a’s. french? a+

as she got older, she became better at making friends and soon had a small group of like-minded individuals around her

( tw: death ) about a month before her 15th birthday, her parents decided to take the family to their cabin near prince rupert for a weekend away from the city/suburbs

they were a little over halfway there when her dad tried to veer the suv away from a moose in the middle of their lane on the highway, but wasn’t successful

joanna was conscious during the whole thing, though she sustained a concussion and the twins were unharmed in their carseats; however their mother died on impact and their father was unconscious with a cranial injury

jo went to the hospital with the twins and was inconsolable over the loss of her mother alone, while her father was in critical condition and the outlook wasn’t good

he was put in a medically induced coma after being operated on, however he was declared braindead twelve days later, which destroyed joanna

she and the twins were put in the care of her dad’s best friend/colleague and her husband, who were practically family to the kang’s as it was and had p much shut down from the traumatic event

she withdrew from the few people she became close to over the years, her grades began to slip as well and she was always weighed down by grief and anxiety

so when her aunt wendy decided to retire early just two months after the accident, the older woman decided to relocate the newly blended household mostly for the sake of jo’s ad

there were many pros and cons to moving to carmel in the girl’s opinion, but the change of scenery made it easier to cope with her loss

she was right back to where she started with friend-making, but rather than it being her just not knowing how, it was that she didn’t want to let people in after everything

she didn’t remain a loner, but she didn’t have a ride or die by any means

her grades recovered and she ended up graduating as valedictorian 

left carmel to attend uc berkeley to study pre-med and become a neurosurgeon just like her dad

always wanted to follow in his — and aunt wendy’s — footsteps, so it came as no surprise to her guardians

( tw: self-destructive behaviour ) a part of her began to question if she really wanted to follow suit during her second semester — or if she could — slowly slipping away from her academics once she let further anxiety from the pressures of making her parents and wendy proud get to her

soon, she was partying a little too hard and winding up in the hospital or a stranger’s dorm, skipping labs, and was generally a lost cause until the end of the year, when she failed two courses and returned to carmel feeling absolutely lost and hopeless

safe to say that she had to take a couple of years off to figure things out, get a grasp on her behaviour and make up for letting more than just herself down

works at pikake to save up for her return to ucb, even though she secretly fears the worst for when she does go back

saves up for her siblings’ futures too, even though they’re pretty much covered

also still has nightmares from the accident, the girl is scarred for life and is thankful that the twins were too young to remember

sees a psychiatrist bc she realized that she rly can’t cope by herself in all of this, and putting the burden on her guardians wasn’t gonna happen since she thinks she’s enough of a burden to them

now to her personality and extra facts ig ??? this has gotten so out of hand already, stOP ME

the most stubborn chick alive, will never admit she’s wrong unless you weasel it out of her with some heavy guilt-tripping

a true instagram addict, which makes sense bc she can be p vain at times

rather intuitive tbh

can be insightful as well

constantly feigns annoyance and boredom with people/their antics

some weird ass detachment method on her part, but question her on it and she’ll shut it tf down

but is still genuinely, easily irritated all the same ?? not even i understand this chick

curses like a sailor if she isn’t being too curt in her responses

has a problem with trusting others, feels like she can only truly rely on herself so if you break through that barrier then congrats ig

she won’t make it obvious though, she’s a sociable being and will actually take to you if you pique her interest with free booze or a wild story

just don’t expect her to surrender much of her life story, but she’ll also get a bit offended if you don’t offer a bit of your own ?? the most annoying internalizer of emotions ever if you’re actually friends with her, 110% will not confide in you if you’re not one of four or five people in her life

also, she fears loss more than anything, so she isn’t close to many people for both the trusting aspect, as well as wanting to spare herself the pain of watching more loved ones die or leave

but if you’re one of the very select few people she’s let in completely, she’ll never let you go. she’s the definition of loyal and will legit die for you even if it doesn’t seem like she would sometimes

devoted to her little brother and sister, you’ll never see her be more affectionate and joyful than with her family

is lowkey the most doting big sis basically, but her being kind and caring towards other kids ?? she’s still working on that

will be super polite to even her enemy’s parents.. unless their parents aren’t pleasant people, then she’ll be unpleasant right back lmao

defensive pessimism at its finest

is fluent in french and korean

memes are the way to her heart

well, memes and food 

the biggest poutine hoe™

secret sci fi junkie

here for aesthetically pleasing everything, here for many aesthetics

her room is almost never in disorder, oddly enough

quite the party girl, though not the same as when she was at ucb that first time, is able to control herself when there aren’t too many stressors plaguing her

plans to leave carmel eventually and thinks that one of these days, she’ll be okay if she goes back home. but she knows that it’ll be a long time coming once she follows through

basically you won’t know rly who she is from one day to the next, the personification of a wild ride

so that’s p much joanna, if you’d like to plot just hmu or like this and i’ll come to you !! i’ll link some connections tomorrow since it’s getting p late

[ravenhowl-in-shipland]

[In]telorant - Yuriyuu

Rating = T

Pairing = Yuuri x Yuri

Summary = They love each other but not everyone agree with their relationship and express their disagreement through harsh words and disrespectful comments.

Note = This is something I write after receiving a lot of complaining about my OTP : Yuriyuu Enjoy !

——————————————————————

A miaowing sound echoed in the quiet bedroom, scratching noises coming from the door to ask someone to open it, pulling one of the two persons that was living here out of her peaceful sleep, hiding from the cold atmosphere of the early winter under the black cover on the king sized bed, and the blonde groaned in annoyance as he woke up slowly to the whining of their hungry kitten. He opened his eyelids, shutting them four times in a row to adjust to the sunlight that could get through the half closed curtains, and was greeted by the sight of his lover’s neck and naked back, the faint smell of his favorite shampoo still hanging in the air. Yurio loved to see the beautiful man first thing in the morning, his relaxed muscles showing up a bit, his shoulder and side moving up and down to match his breathing, black hair falling on the pillow, and the young skater just wanted to pull him into a gentle hug, but restrained himself to avoid waking him up. So, he just let him rest a bit more, the night before having been a succession of stressful interviews for another sports magazine, and tried to get up without making the slats crack under his weight, to go and open the door for Būta, their Bengal cat, which was waiting impatiently to eat its breakfast. The little feline rubbed himself against his master’s legs to let him know that he was happy and ran toward the kitchen when the blonde set him free, jumping here and there like a little gazelle. Smiling fondly at their companion, the teen joined it into the room and poured some food in its plate, earning a purr from the little cat, before going back into the bedroom to lay down again.

Beside him, the other man stirred in his sleep, yawning silently, and pulled the blanket over his shoulder to keep himself warm, sighing through his parted lips. Finding it adorable, the seventeen years old boy decided to spoon him from behind, tangling their feet together, his arms encircling the eldest’s torso, caressing the appealing abs, and peppered the crook of his neck with loving kisses. At first, the black haired skater didn’t say anything, maybe still half asleep, but then, he moaned in satisfaction, one hand covering the fingers on his abdomen, and leaned into the touch of his boyfriend, longing for the warmth of his body. Glad that he was enjoying the kind gesture, Yuri began to suck the skin of his shoulder, leaving a red mark on his flesh, and licked his earlobe with a playful grin on his face.

“That tickles Yura !” The Japanese man said while chuckling a bit.

“It’s your fault for seducing me …”

At that, Yuuri turned around to face his lover, locking his brown eyes with the light green ones in front of him, and bent forward to seal their mouth together, melting into the kiss like it was the first they were sharing. Fingers were going through undisciplined hair, hips bucking against the other’s and caresses given in a light touch. The youngster wanted to go further, intertwining their tongues into a heated dance, but the eldest of the couple preferred to end it there and placed a lock behind his ear to see his beautiful figure, even though he had a disappointed look on it.

The Russian wasn’t as shy as he had been the first time he had confessed to his crush and he needed a little more physical contact, that he couldn’t receive because he was still a minor. He knew that his Katsudon was quite respectful about these rules and didn’t wish to ruin Yuri’s career because of their relationship, now that he had reached such a level. But the latter couldn’t accept that, growling like an upset dog when the other would refuse to hold him in public to avoid any scandal, and tried to push him to his limits so he would be the one to make the first move, knowing that he was quite weak against his charms. After all, he had been waiting for it since a long time now. It bothered him a lot to think that laws were restraining them from doing what they liked and he just wished he could change it without moving a finger.

“Why don’t you want to do it with me ?” The cat lover blurted out without thinking.

“You know why ��� I can’t lay a finger on you for now, not until you are eighteen …”

“But I’m almost eighteen … We can do it right ?”

“Yurio please, I don’t want to talk about it … Just, I really want to give you what you want. Really. However, it wouldn’t be right for now.”

“But who cares ? No one can prove that we had sex and there won’t be any paparazzi in the room while we will do it !”

Yurio hadn’t realized that he was actually yelling at his boyfriend, clenching his fists against the sheets, and the half scared expression on Yuuri’s face was what brought him back to reality. He slapped himself mentally the moment he saw it. Plus, he knew how much the pork cutlet lover could feel anxious over nothing and start to hyperventilate when the stress was too much. So, as quickly as possible, he apologized and took the older man in his arms to appease his arising fear.

“I’m sorry Katsudon. I didn’t mean to blame you or yell at you … it’s just that I … I really want to prove you how much I love you and that I can support the media’s curiosity, even if they are a pain in the ass …”

“I am the one who should apologize … I’m just running away because I’m afraid about what other could think of me … us.”

“Why do you focus on their opinion ? It’s not like they were actually throwing insult at us ?” The blonde explained while standing up in a sitting position.

As if something snapped inside the ravenette, he got out of the couch, showing his bare and hairless legs, only covered with a pair of boxers, and went to his desk in the corner of the room to grab something the other couldn’t see because it was too small. Then, with an angry grimace, he tossed it to the blonde who caught it before it lands on the blanket, and mumbled in a weak and wavering voice.

“I’m sorry for being a coward …”

After that, Yuuri took the large sweater that the Russian had bought him two months ago for their one year birthday as a couple, which had a cute piglet on it and said I’m an awesome piglet to look at, and exited the bedroom to go in the living room. The teen didn’t understand what had just happened. It wasn’t like the black haired man to get mad at something so futile. Usually, he would just brush it off and wear a defeated smile, making Yurio apologize over and over again for being so hot headed. Maybe he had gone too far this time. But what did he want to show him ? Between his fingers, there was the black phone of the Japanese skater and the screen was unlocked, turned on with the Twitter account of his Katsudon opened. That was the first clue he understood. Something was going on and it seemed to be heavy to bear. While scrolling down the multiple tweets he had received from Viktor and Phichit, he could hear the oldest making breakfast, the smell of eggs and bacon for their occidental meal tickling his nose, and the broken words he was whispering to Būta, made his heart ache a bit. Suddenly, something caught his attention.

A single tweet that wasn’t from neither of them, who didn’t know that they were a thing, seemed to have been commented and seen by a lot of their fans, especially the tiger’s groupies. As he opened it, a picture of the two men appeared at the top, showing them during one of their secret date, the blonde having one of his arm around the other’s shoulder, and he discovered why his adorable Katsudon was afraid of crossing the limits. There, he could read a lot of rumors that were spreading like the dust in a storm because of the photograph, and a bunch of them were disrespectful toward the owner of the account, if not worse.

“Did you see that picture ? That’s Yuuri Katsuki right ? With Yuri Plisetsky ?”

“I thought that they didn’t like each other ? Why is Katsuki with our tiger ?”

“Fuck!ng gross ! Are they together ? I thought that the Japanese Yuuri was with Viktor Nikiforov ?”

“Stay away from him !”

“Go back with Viktor. I thought you were going to marry !”

“Don’t lay a hand on him dirty pig !”

“Faggot ! Don’t turn our little angel into one of your kind !”

“Isn’t that kind of relationship called pedophilia ?”

“I’m sure that Yuri is blackmailed by Katsuki ! That bastard !”

The teenager couldn’t continue to read those things. Putting a hand over his mouth, he didn’t know if he should cry or scream at those people who didn’t understand anything. Of course amongst the most horrible ones, there were some that tried to defend him or protect their privacy by reporting their comments, but it was no use, and one person was still trying to stop those these bastards, only receiving insults in return. Bitting his bottom lip, the young skater squeezed the phone between his fingers, his knuckles becoming as white as the snow which was falling outside, and he suppressed the urge to take his own account to answer to them, shutting them up with his russian curses. However, a sob broke the angry atmosphere around him and he didn’t waste a second to go in the living room to comfort his lover. Yuri arrived in his jogging pants, tall and well-built, and saw the smaller man curled up on the couch, face against his knees, shoulders shaken by a fit of sobs, a panic attack showing the tip of its nose.

Approaching slowly the scared piggy, the youngster took a sit beside him and rubbed his back, up and down, in a soothing way. It had been a long time since he had seen the older man in such a state, always smiling and laughing and blushing at everything, and if he remembered well, the last time was when he had learn his best friend had broken his ankle after landing a jump the wrong way, eight months ago. At that time, the blonde had to tell him over and over again that Phichit would be okay and that it was just a broken bone. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy this time. He didn’t find the right words to reassure him and it began to make him feel anxious too.

No. He had to stay strong for Yuuri.

“Hey Katsudon …” he murmured in a gentle tone “Look at me, please …”

The ravenette didn’t answer or obey to his command, and continued to cry his eyes out, tightening his grip on his legs. The Russian tried again.

“Please, I want you to look at me when I’ll …”

“Do you think I’m gross ?”

“Huh ?” He said, a bit surprised by the sudden intervention.

“Am I that kind of person ? That’s how people see me ? Am I just some pedophile ?”

At that, Yuri took a hold of the Japanese’s shoulders, forcing him to straighten his back so he could see his red face and puffy eyes, and tried to stay as calm as possible to help him through this. But, beyond his glasses, the pork cutlet lover didn’t seem ready to hear what his boyfriend had to say and kept saying what he wanted for another ten minutes, his eyes blank and mind unreachable. The taller one couldn’t help but watch the show before him, feeling totally useless, and the words which were leaving his mouth, hurt him more than he would have thought. Yuuri’s breathing became erratic when he talked about the fact that he was dating a minor, that he should have accepted Viktor’s proposal like everyone wanted him to do, that everything was just a mistake that he made, and he started to hyperventilate badly. At this rate, it will just end the wrong way. Snapping out of it, the blonde attempted to persuade him with all his might.

“Stop talking nonsense ! You’re nothing of what they say … They don’t even know the real you ! They are just jealous of the two of us because we are happy together … Please Katsudon, I love you and I know what I mean. You didn’t force me into anything !”

The second man had a lot of difficulties to breath and was holding the sweater just above his heart, showing how much he was suffering at the moment. Tears were still streaming down his face and were falling onto his bare legs, making him look like a pet lost in the rain. Sweat appeared on the side of his face, eyes wide in shock like he had seen an horrible thing, and he trembled like a leaf in the forceful wind. So, the Russian did the only thing he thought was right to stop all of this. He grabbed his cheeks, wiped the droplets with his thumbs, and shut him up with his lips, smothering his doubts and fears. The kiss wasn’t like the ones they would exchange normally. It was rushed, clumsy and in a way, kind of painful. But, it was still filled with all the love and passion that the youngster felt toward his eldest, and he hoped that it would help him a little. When they had to separate to take deep breaths, Yuri was relieved to see that his lover was feeling better, his panic attack decreasing because of the kiss, and the other seemed to have been brought back to reality. It was the moment to knock some sense in him.

“You’re the most beautiful, kind, adorable and delicious person I’ve ever met. No one is as cute and precious as you in this whole world to me ! Even that stupid Viktor had the intelligence to see that in you …”

“Yurio …” he muttered, sniffling a bit.

“Those people are just blind and jealous. They will badmouth us until they understand that it’s useless, because humans are like that, and when they’ll stop to spread rumors about us, they will find someone else to bully because they have nothing else to do …”

Yuri paused in his sentence to look at his lover’s face, pleased to see that he was actually listening, and hugged him hard enough to let him feel his strong heartbeat, but not too much so he wouldn’t hurt him, before finishing his long speech.

“I can’t change what people think of us but remember that there are still some of them that support us so, you have to focus on what those persons say ! And don’t forget that I am the one who made a move on you. I may still be a minor but I can think by myself and have an opinion on what I choose … Hell, I have the sexual majority so why do they care ? You’re not in the wrong here and if there is anyone who need to be blamed for something, then it’s me because I couldn’t help to fall in love with a man nine years older than me.”

“What I am trying to say is that I love you more than my own life and that I could sacrifice my career for you if it means that I can stay by your side. You’re my everything Yuuri …”

An heavy silence came after that and Yurio waited anxiously for an answer, holding onto the sweater as if his life was depending on it, burying his tomato red face in the crook of the Japanese’s neck. After what felt like an eternity, the older male responded to him through a warm hug, struggling to keep his tears at bay, in vain. The blonde almost sighed in relief and put the palm of his right hand on top of the black hair, soothing the broken heart with comforting words, pushing him to let it all out. That was what he did for more than twenty two minutes, sobbing and crying, searching for his lover through their innocent embrace, and when he couldn’t spill a tear anymore, he broke away to wipe his eyes beyond his glasses and smiled fondly at the man of his life. It wasn’t those he had showed him since the beginning but a true one, and it made the blonde feel like he had completely succeeded to help the other believe in him.

“Thanks for being there for me Yura. You’re the best thing that had happened to me in this life and I’m always thinking that I don’t deserve …”

Knowing what was coming, the Russian sealed those words at the back of his throat and kissed him passionately until he couldn’t think about anything else, pulling him onto his torso as he was laying down on the sofa. The ravenette placed his hand on his chest to keep some stability, and pressed their lips a bit more together, letting the tongue of his lover enter his wet cave. A moan escaped Yuuri when the fingers of his partner went down to his butt cheeks, and he wanted to complain but it looked like he was enjoying it too much to struggle. However, the cat lover wasn’t the king of person who didn’t respect his promises and he took his hand away, caressing his back with the tip of his fingers. They parted for oxygen and stared at each other with a loving expression, the Japanese’s eyes still puffy from all the crying, lips all red because of their heated passion. Exhausted, the ravenette put the side of his face on his beloved’s torso, looking toward the TV on its furniture, Būta sleeping next to it in its basket, and relaxed into the peaceful atmosphere, the sun continuing its course in the sky, illuminating the living room with its magnificent light. While the eldest was fighting fiercely to not fall asleep, the other played with a dark lock, intertwining it around his index, humming a song he knew really well, and enjoyed the moment as if it was the last he would share with the broken man.

“I’m falling in love with you again Yuratchka …” Yuuri whispered as he let himself fall into a half sleep, forgetting completely about their breakfast and the fact that it was already 10:14 AM. “You are the only one … that can make me happy …”

“I should be the one saying that, silly ! Hey ! Are you going to go back to sleep just like that ?”

“Hmm … but you’re so comfortable to sleep on …”

“No Katsudon wait ! What about …” He cut himself when he understood that all of these emotions had drained his energy and that he needed to rest for an hour or two. “Nevermind. Sleep well Yuuri, моя любовь*”

Yuri kissed the top of his head and removed his glasses so it wouldn’t bother him, freeing his adorable flush face. At the sight of his peaceful expression, the blonde thought it would be a good thing to immortalize the moment and take a selfie, so he could show to the world that the man was his. And he did it. Taking his phone out of the pocket of his pants, he snapped a picture and with one hand, the other too busy to pet the other’s hair, he wrote a tweet on his Twitter account to answer to the haters in a pacific manner. When he concluded that the message was strong enough without being too harsh, he posted it, smiling for himself, and locked the screen to put it on the small table in front of the couch.

As the buzzing sound echoed in the room to tell that people were reacting to his comment, he ignored it and wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s hips, imprisoning him in a protective embrace.

Nothing will tear them apart.

Never.

[моя любовь = my love]