#most of post under cut bc this is not a pretty put together post this is a chicken scratch rant post

[gravityghosts]

One thing I’ve been thinking about for months… I remember seeing a post once. I can’t remember the actual original context but it was something along the line of “I told my therapist I wasn’t [depressed? suicidal?], and my therapist asked what I would do differently if I WAS, and that made me realize I was wrong because there was no difference in what I would be doing.”

I wonder what israel supporters think… what would israel do differently if they were committing genocide?

Would they say they want ‘total victory?’ Would they claim that EVERY Palestinian citizen is a part of a terrorist group? Even the babies?

Would they kill children?

Would they commit war crimes (plural)?

Would they be part of an ongoing investigation as to whether or not they’re committing genocide?

Would they kill more people in a few months than those killed in the last few years in active war zones?

Would they commit ethnically cleansing?

Would they displace a huge portion of the population?

Would they forbid Palestinians from returning home if they leave?

Would they bomb medical workers?

Would the majority of their kill count be civilians?

Would they kill damn near every journalist in the area?

Would they bomb the land to hell and back, destroying local wildlife such as the olive trees?

Would they destroy schools, places of worship, hospitals?

Would they destroy all sources of food and prevent any more food from being imported, artificially inducing the largest percentage (100%) of food scarcity we’ve ever seen?

Would they kill a baby so young he hadn’t been named yet, solely for the crime of being born Palestinian?

Would they kill livestock?

Would they bomb people who said ‘hey we’re just bringing food. This is a is not a combat zone so please don’t kill us’ three times in a row? Even after being told ‘hey you bombed us just now. please don’t do that’

Would they post videos on social media of themselves looting things from the homes they bombed?

Would they strip the civilians of their clothes, holding them at gunpoint?

Would they blow a girl’s legs off, leaving her hanging, half of her body completely gone?

Would they obliterate a child so much that all the child’s mother had left of said kid was blood left on her hands?

Would they kill people going for food? Hiding bombs in cans?

Would they bomb a tent city of refuges?

Like. Maybe SOME of this is propaganda. I don’t claim to be an expert in any relevant field (ie: genocide, international law, international relations, etc.) and the Internet does not, in fact, always share true information.

But I’ve seen some of these things. And I KNOW they can’t ALL be fake. Unless I see convincing proof, I’m assuming they’re ALL true. The image of the girl with her legs blown off haunts me. The video of the woman crying with blood on her hands won’t leave my mind. Many of these things are known to have occurred or to be occurring.

What more does israel have to do for the rest of the world to realize this is fucked up?

This isn’t everything they’ve done!!! This is just what my chronically-amnesiac-ass can think of off the top of my head!

[ladyloveandjustice]

Mental Illness in Anime

I saw someone say Komi Can't Communicate is the only anime they've ever seen that talks about mental illness and that's kinda sad, so for you to not end in the same boat, I've decided to put together an overview of mental illness in anime, what I'd recommend, what comes with caveats, and so on.

It's a little nebulous what "talks about mental illness" means as lots of anime depict characters who are very obviously depressed, traumatized and even suicidal (suicide will be mentioned a lot in this list, so watch out for that), but don't directly name mental illness. It is very stigmatized in Japan, even moreso than many other countries, you don't see much talk about therapy and so on.

However, naturally there are many Japanese people who are mental health advocates, and I found an interview with Makoto Kageyama, a mental health awareness advocate who volunteered at Aokigahara forest. He points out anime he feels deal with mental illness. One we'll cover fully, many of them I haven't watched:

I think the most accurate and positive portrayals I got were actually from Kiriyama Rei (March Comes in Like a Lion), Naruse Jun (The Anthem of the Heart), Miyamura Miyako (ef: A Tale of Memories), Takeya Yuki (School-Live!) and Smile (Ping Pong: The Animation)

I'm super open to suggestions for additions, and might be adding them as reblogs and under the cut.

I'll also be making a post on mental illness in manga if this post does well, which I will link here when I post it.

So I'll start:

Anime that directly discusses mental illness:

March Comes in Like a Lion- not only is the main character one of the most accurate depictions of depression I've ever seen, it's the rare anime that actually talks about counseling, showing a traumatized character attending counseling and slowly getting back on her feet.

Orange--it...certainly is about mental illness, but it's a pretty mixed/problematic one because it seems to be confused by how mental illness works at times. It centers around a character who's suicidally depressed and his friend's efforts to save him after receiving a time travel message about his future suicide. It also does mention offhand that this character was supposed to go to therapy and is skipping out at one point. But yeah, how it handles it is...not always great. It kind of gives an impression that if you try hard enough you can "fix" someone's suicidal depression. With friendship. I guess. You have been warned.

I haven't watched it in a really long time, so it might even be worse than I remember. But I'm including it bc I definitely cried and felt parts of it were very relatable when I saw it way back when. so there's some resonant stuff there.

Monster: Kind of mixed, but it's definitely notable as an anime that not only has a psychiatrist as a major character, but also shows prominent characters going to therapy and getting better. Characters go to him for alcoholism, depression, PTSD (PTSD is not named but yeah it's definitely PTSD). At one point he helps a main character recover some repressed traumatic memories.

What makes it mixed is that while several heroes definitely are mentally ill in some way, the (complex) antagonist of the series also has some sort of mental health condition , and the story is often weirdly muddled about it. At one point they make it out like he has Dissociative Identity Disorder (calling it "split personality") but then he never shows any symptoms of that and it's kind of dropped and not bought up again. He does definitely have repressed traumatic memories though, so maybe that's all they were getting at but said it very badly.

A heroic character that actually seems to have Dissociative Identity Disorder and YMMV in how it's handled and how accurate it is. It's a "the other personality is violent" one, but rather than the other personality being evil, it's. a defense mechanism, and the violence is always in self defense or defense of others..

Sort of names the problem:

My New Boss is Goofy: One of the main characters is recovering from an abusive boss, and definitely has anxiety attacks and flashbacks as a result. This is directly named as "trauma" (though much like in the West where the loan word came from, anime characters use the words to refer to minor things that aren't mental illness too. But in this case it's treated very seriously). At any rate, the entire anime is about others helping the MC slowly recover with his new boss and friends showing immense compassion for his anxiety and other problems. Here's a good article going into it!

Anime that focuses on social anxiety:

I think what stands out about Komi is that it directly says she has a communication disorder, but tons of anime focus on characters with social anxiety, and even state what the problem is directly.

Bocchi the Rock- The girl with the social anxiety is the main character and not the bland self insert guy who has a crush on her?, amazing. it lets her be a mess too? whaaat. Yeah, Bocchi does say directly she has severe social anxiety, and the series is very relatable in how it explores that. There are a lot of gags about it, but in a knowing, sympathetic way. Her recovery is realistically slow, and sometimes she backslides. She talks directly about her social anxiety, using the term.

Tsuritama: MC's social anxiety is so bad he can have panic attacks when people talk to him...the attacks are also represented in this really interesting way where they have water come in to drown him.

My Roommate is a Cat: Man dealing with social anxiety slowly recovers with the help of his cat. It's cute. Here's an article going into it!

Anime that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonates:

Natsume's Book of Friends: I wrote an entire article about how relatable it is to me and my mental illness, how it uses the characters seeing yokai as metaphor for mental ilness at times (Natsume was textually mistreated by so-called guardians who thought he "wasn't right in the head" and his grandmother was often called that too) but also Natsume shows a lot of textual symptoms of trauma (possibly PTSD), depression and so on, and they're explored very poignantly. Here is my article: “The Courage to Speak”: Mental illness and recovery in Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Probably one of the most poignant explorations of what it means to be depressed and traumatized as a teenage girl. Several moments with Utena herself resonate, starting with when she was a child and declares she doesn't want to go on living, Anthy is also...dealing with a lot, and it's powerful how the show goes into it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion-- Many characters in it show symptoms of mental illness. Though it isn't named as depression directly (i think?), but Shinji shows every symptom you can think of, and the director Anno has said that he was extremely depressed while making it and channeled a lot of that into the characters, and we definitely see his mental journey for the better very strongly reflected in the reboot.

Kyousougiga: One of the main characters is suicidally depressed (this one is graphic, because he commits suicide on screen...only it turns out he can't die), and his journey towards becoming okay with living is a focus and was very resonant to me.

She and Her Cat: A short anime about a girl who definitely has depression and how her cat helps her. Rather simplistic ending but it's good otherwise. CW animal death too, but in a very gentle way.

Haibane Renmei: It deals with suicidal depression and other mental health struggles in a pretty intense way, it's touching, but if you have triggers consider looking into it.

Fruits Basket: Truly a cocktail of mental illnesses among the cast. YMMV on how it's handled but some parts really resonate. These articles go into it:

The Always Smiling Girl: How Tohru critiques toxic positivity

“A Man Who Can Experience His Feelings”: Fruits Basket, toxic masculinity, and mental health

Colorful: This is a submission from Nickyenchilada from the notes of this post: "I would also recommend the movie/novel Colorful. I think YMMV on how it handles the central issue of suicide but I think it does portray how even kids can be thrust into very complex situations without necessary outlets for coping with them."

Vinland Saga: This was an addition I got from a discord conversation, the entire second season explore the main character's PTSD

Yuri on Ice- A conversation on discord reminded me that a lot of people read Yuri as having an anxiety disorder, which I can totally see!

A Silent Voice- a submission from @boku-no-anime-phase who says: "I think it deserves its own shout out! This movie is nuanced, gentle, beautifully told and brimming with hope. I love the fact that just like in real life, things don't resolve particularly easily; but the characters make important progress that's rewarding to watch. TW for suicide discussion, ideation and attempt".

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "YMMV but there's an arc that deals with bullying and memory loss where a character who deals with those things is supported and encouraged through it".

My Happy Marriage - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "also YMMV but I think there were some lovely moments in this where you can see Miyo beginning to heal from her trauma and abuse, and learn to trust."

Anime Feminist has a whole host of articles on mental health in anime and they're all here. It covers a lot of different anime I don't know about or didn't mention and offers a lot of cool perspectives, so check 'em out! Here's a few that stuck out to me:

Finding Inner Magic: Depression in The Ancient Magus’ Bride

(I don't like this anime's narrative due to the issue with the ending pointed out in this article, but it did have resonant moments of exploring depression).

How Clean Freak! Aoyama-kun compassionately handles mental illness

The Sound of Depression: Liminal spaces, sound design, and Super Cub

From Yandere Girlfriends to Social Anxiety: Handling mental illness in The Future Diary and A Silent Voice

Footnote on Hikikomori in anime:

Any anime that focuses on Hikikomori characters are dealing with characters that are mentally ill, as being so depressed/traumatized/agoraphobic/anxious you can't even leave your room or house is obviously not mentally healthy. But what really matters is how that’s handled and if these issues are explained, as Makoto Kageyama notes:

Usually, the most common issues I’ve seen covered is the “hikikomori phenomena” and light eating disorders. Basically, a bullied character that becomes a recluse out of social anxiety, but… The characters don’t usually get shown correctly, since their issues are not explained properly and basically it ends up with a “Hey, see? People are not that bad, we are your friends!” and “Yay, I have friends, I am cured and I can trust others again!” Which is not the case, because real hikikomori can take a lot of talk and patience to get them out and when they get back to normal society (if they do), they become very wary of others. And ironically, “hikikomori” has also been used as a “moe trait” in anime even though it’s a mental health issue.

One I saw a lot of people namedrop as handling it well when I googled around was Welcome to the NHK, though I haven't seen it. But, if you look at Nickyenchilada's take in the comments to this post, it's mentioned as being resonant and it's noted that the recovery is not an easy fix, and it's also noted that several characters in the story are mentally ill.

Bonus list:

Neurodiversity in Anime- (that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonate)

I initially didn't include a neurodiversity section in this post because I honestly could not think of any anime that directly talks about neurodiversity or has a textually neurodivergent character.

(However, there are manga that actually do! I pointed some out in my Mental Illness and Neurodiversity in Manga post I did to complement this one!)

You can also read some articles about neurodiversity in anime here

And the list of characters that can simply be read as neurodivergent is huge, and if I tried to list every popular read it would be endless, plus I don't feel comfortable "diagnosing" any characters with developmental disorders I don't personally have. However, I am willing to take suggestions from others on this one, so here are a few!

Mob Psycho 100 - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says " Mob is autistic and I will die on this hill; the trouble he has with fitting in, relating to others and knowing the right things to do imo stems directly from that."

Princess Jellyfish - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says "I'd be willing to bet that all the women who live in that apartment are neurodivergent. They all have their special interests and they live together in mutual neurodivergent infodumping bliss and it's wonderful. (Unrelated but TW for sexual assault and some transphobia)"

Chihayafuru- submission by @noisepartythumpingmusic who says "It's never noted explicitly, but I firmly believe the main character of Chihayafuru has ADHD, which is perfect for a main character of a sports" josei. As someone who does have ADHD, I personally can totally see that read of Chihaya (the main character)!

Anti-recommendations (as in seems potentially resonant but then drop the ball hard, because if I listed all the anime that's blatantly gross about mental illness from the second the subject comes up we'd be here all day) (Dead Dove Do Not Eat)

Wonder Egg Priority: Starts out like it's going to be a nuanced exploration of recovering from abuse, suicidal depression, and so on, only to end up incredibly stupid and offensive. The writer also believes some stupid and misogynist things about "reasons" girls commit suicide. This article goes into it a little.

Your Lie In April: Depiction of depression and trauma is completely undermined by how all the characters tell the MC he needs to get over it because his talent for piano is more important, and the clumsy, gross take on forgiving your abuser, and so many other things. This article goes into it.

---

And that's it for now! Again. I might be updating this with new stuff based on feedback or me remembering something I missed, through both updates and adding stuff under the cut.

[cherrirui-official]

Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 1/7)

Since the edited episodes are starting to come out, I figured that bc of that and the fact that I've been keeping this in the back burner for a loooong while now, might as well complete all my friendlocke violet gijinkas!! Some are gonna stay the same while others are gonna have slight/ complete redesigns, so please keep that in mind!

I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv

(Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)

!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!

@saltydkart-reblogs

And that's pretty much it, designs under the cut!

LARK:

HUGE nerd. spent most of his time during the Uva Academy studying different kinds of pokemon as well as different fighting styles he can utilize once he is able to go out on his own journey with his very own trainer! Too bad that didn't really help in the long run...

His entire wardrobe consists of McDonald's related outfits. It's fucking insane. He even has some from long LONG ago that aren't available anywhere else.

The bubble pattern on his hair is able to move and change. Nobody knows how this is possible, not even Lark himself. All Lark knows is that his hair looks incredibly stylish!

Speaking of bubbles, he has the ability to blow bubbles whenever and wherever he pleases!

Often keeps himself extremely clean and gets upset if even a small speck of dirt gets on him, despite this he somehow smells like McDonald's food and axe body spray. Disgusting. He's so cool!

Even after death he still likes to hang around the other team members as a ghost, often getting to know the newer members as well as reuniting with the old ones. Sometimes they see him, sometimes they don't. It usually depends.

SARA:

Due to being a human in her past life, Sara is able to actually speak with the other humans in the pokemon world. However she usually doesn't due to it being seen as extremely weird and out of place. She did slip up once while talking in the presence of Arven, who thought it was the weed making him hear things.

Oinkologne are usually unable to do much with their hooves but Sara spent nights practicing how to knit with her new hooves and now she's able to do it flawlessly. I don't know how she managed to do that but go queen!

When first joining the team she'd often have the urge to eat her food related companions. It was a strange time for Sara, but she managed to overcome it.

When Peppy gets sick, she usually is the one who nurses him back to health. She was a human once so she often is able to figure out whatever sickness Peppy has and treat it properly. I suppose she's like a second mother to him.

The bag she carries with her is full of thread that she collected from various Tarountula she encountered on the journey, as well as little things she knits together in her spare time.

For the most part, Sara forgives... but NEVER forgets.

Did you guys know that Sara has a new YouTube channel? Check it out!

Pastey:

Before joining the team, Pastey was a nameless wanderer. He's been down every road in Paldea and knows almost the entire region (except for Area Zero) like the back of his hand.

He's gotten hurt pretty badly throughout the run (ie. the Mikey fight, the Atticus fight, and ESPECIALLY the final battle), however, he does not gain any (physical) scars from those fights. This is bc he's basically an axolotl, and axolotls are usually able to heal without scarring.

Pastey's "arms" are, to put it simply, mud prosthetics. More info here vvv

Pastey HAS met Mall Bingo once before the run, however, he doesn't recognize her. The only reason he does not recognize her is bc she wears glasses. (You know how people somehow aren't able to recognize Superman bc he wears glasses in his civilian attire even tho his face remains the same? It's basically like that lmao)

Unlike the lightbulbs he eats, the gasoline he drinks isn't really mandatory to his diet. Gasoline is like alcohol to him and he drinks it like an absolute CHAMP.

He goes fishing when there's nothing else to do or when he can't sleep at night. He doesn't do this bc he thinks it's fun or anything, only bc it's a "good time passer" or so he claims. Other members of the team will often sit with him and vent out anything that's troubling them at the moment, and Pastey is always there to listen to them.

And that's pretty much it. Next is Joe, Hannah Ü, and Mykyie!

[riizewrtr]

how zb1 would react to you going to sleep on the couch after an argument

omg that's smth i would do lol or i make them sleep on the couch idk :/ lolll

hanbin would probably be extremely upset. i can see him sitting next to you, trying to talk it out again. but more calmly, he would try his hardest to convince you that it wasn't necessary to sleep on the couch. he would be really good at convincing you btw bc who can stay mad at hanbin lol

rest under the cut so it's not a long post!

Jiwoong would actually get a little bit more upset, at least i think he would. but not in a mad way, but he would feel like this whole thing is his fault (whether it was or not, he will burden it) and would most likely give you your space, but will talk to you in the morning about it. possibly offer for him to sleep on the couch like zhanghao

Zhanghao I can see almost on the verge of tears, wondering how the fight got so bad. when he noticed you taking your pillow, i can see him making you stay in the room while HE sleeps on the couch instead. he's a sweetheart so if you can't solve the fight in that one night, he will be the one to sleep on the couch, not his s/o.

Matthew is very persistent and a sweetheart, he would never let any of you go to sleep angry, so there wouldn't even be an option to sleep on the couch lol he would force you both to work it out. but if it did happen, he would sleep on the floor next to you lol

Taerae is like matthew, he's a sweetheart. you can't really fully be mad at him, but he would understand if you needed time alone. but he would just sleep on the opposite side of the couch to annoy you more, but that would actually make you stop being mad at him + he just needed to flash his dimple at you.

Ricky would be closest to Jiwoong or Hanbin, he would understand if you need space but would try to talk it out before sleeping. but he would take it to heart that HE'S the problem. he would give you the space if you couldn't talk it out, but offer to sleep at a friends house so you can sleep in bed comfortably :((

Gyuvin would refuse to let any of you go to sleep angry. he would try his hardest to make you laugh or smile, so honestly with gyuv even after fight's you would make up before hand since gyuv is pretty unserious lol but if you HAPPEN to want to, he also would just sleep at one of the members or friends house. hell he might even go home for eumpappa lol

Gunwook would be the type to be persistant asking why you have to sleep on the couch, like why can't y'all just sleep together? he would say he don't even have to touch you lol that he will put a pillow between, he would find 100 reasons as to why you MUST sleep in the bed lol

Yujin sweet child would be freaking out internally and externally. wondering what he should do, i can see him being too shy to try to talk to you especially after a big fight. he most likely would leave you alone until YOU'RE ready. he won't push you to talk unless you do it first. might tell you to sleep in the bed instead

[laura1633]

this championship "battle" is so silly bc lando does not have a single "he is HIM" race meanwhile max has like 40 (brazil 2016 my beloved). if anything lando's most famous race is sochi 2021 and uh. well.

I have had a few asks about Lando so I thought I would answer one with my opinion. I am going to answer this under the cut so that anyone who wants to avoid this can do so.

I also know that I have some mutuals and people who follow this blog who like Lando a lot so I apologise. I totally get if you want to unfollow as I think it's really important to curate your online experience <3

In my personal opinion (as a Max supporter) Lando has not done anything this season that would mean he deserves to become world champion. That may sound harsh but he has had the fastest car for most of the season and has not capitalised on that at all. He has achieved his first race wins and good for him but he just hasn't put what I would consider to be a championship winning run together.

He also seems very put out by the fact that Max is fighting him on the limit. This is a championship battle! If Max had driven Lando straight into a barrier that would be different but running someone wide happens, you get a penalty and you move on! I do not like the narrative being pushed out every time they go hard racing, it's as if Max is evil incarnate and Lando is some innocent bystander to what is happening. (A narrative mostly drive by British media and senior figures at Mclaren)

Max on the other hand made the absolute most of the first few races where he had the fastest car and then continued to win races with a slower car. If the Red Bull had even a bit of pace then there wouldn't be a battle at all - look at Austin where the Red Bull was not fastest but had a fighting chance - Max extended his lead!

I'm not saying this is a train wreck season from Lando, he's been on the podium pretty consistently, I am just saying that with the car he has he should have more race victories.

This is probably very mean to say but it essentially took him having a car capable of winning a championship to win his first race 😬. Whereas, as you have pointed out anon, Max has so many amazing races before he even got his hands on a dominant car.

If Max loses the championship it will be down to the RB20 dropping off a cliff rather than Lando putting in a fantastic performance. That is why I hate the way it is being framed as this great underdog story of Lando chasing Max and reducing his lead - there should not be a lead to begin with!! Max is the underdog here make no mistake about that! It's just that he is a massively talented underdog.

Anyway, I am trying not to hate too much because Lando is getting a lot of hate online already but I have always tried to give Lando a lot of leeway in interviews as I think he is quite uncomfortable when answering questions but there have been a few moments this season where he has done or said something I have found very irritating. Himself and Max are still friendly (or at least as far as I know) but that doesn't stop me being annoyed by certain things 😂

Sorry to rant under your ask anon, its just I have had a few questions about Lando so I thought I would put my opinion in one post rather than fill my page up with anti posts <3

But in short - Max is just that guy, the main character, a generational talent - putting in amazing performances season after season.

[wherebettertoescape]

Thoughts on The Outsiders Album

Okay, as I said yesterday, I have a LOT of thoughts on the album and I decided to revive this page so I stop bothering everyone IRL with my thoughts about it 😂 I figure there must be a good amount of people on tumblr who are down to listen to my rants about the album, so here goes.

I'll put it under a cut so there aren't any spoilers for anyone who hasn't listened yet, and I know there's one or two things which I've heard about the prouction via other posts and such. But I will stress that I haven't actually seen it, I've only listened to the album and obsessed over it 😂

It's also below the cut because it's fucking LOOOOONG

Please reply to this or send in your own thoughts - I have so much I want to talk about to do with this album and I'm like... shaking with the need to talk about it with people who actually want to listen 😂

(sad times living in the UK 🥲)

I'm gonna go through the album sequentially, like track by track, because that feels like the thing to do, even though I will say right off that I definitely have more thoughts about some tracks than others. And I will also give my favourite line from each song. But for a just, like, general overview to begin with - I love the album so much?

I will fully admit that I was kinda preparing myself for it to be bad - it's a book that I love and I wasn't the biggest fan of the movie adaptation for a few key reasons, but I was so pleasantly surprised by the musical soundtrack.

I'm in love with the style of music, I love the entire cast (all of them have such different singing voices and styles and I think that they merge together so beautifully), and it has most of the things that I love in a musical - for me, it's got the right balance of the talking sections included with the singing, as well, which I know some people aren't huge fans of, but I might be biased because Soda is and always has been my favourite character and most of the talking is by him 😂 (I love Jason Schmidt, but we'll talk about that later), and as well as that the style of music and singing like gives me a good picture of what the actual choreography might look like, which I'm obsessed with, since I probably won't get to see it unless it somehow gets to the West End (🤞🏻)

Tulsa '67

Okay so this song is just like ✨exposition ✨ but it's done in a fun way, and I've decided it's worth it just for the finale reprise

I was also like stupidly emotional the first time I heard it and it opened with the opening line of the book

I was wary because of the immediate characterisation of Sodapop as being the brother "with a broken heart" (side note - does this mean Sandy broke his heart before the show rather than after it? I've goes QUESTIONS) - I'll go into it again when we get into Grease Got a Hold for obvious reasons, but I was worried that Soda was gonna be reduced into just being a womaniser again, which is something that bothered me about the movie adaptation

Favourite line: "all the girls are pretty there, and all the guys are mean"

Grease Got a Hold

right so it has no right to be as much of a bop as it is, it's been stuck in my head for the past week since it came out and I can't even be mad about it 😂

It's essentially just a typical "gang" song to introduce and characterise all the different members

Dally always saying "Little brother" got me so emotional like immediately

And I know I just said that I was upset with Soda's characterisation as a womaniser, but considering later songs, I will say I do find it really funny that he basically just goes "yeah I'm a greaser bc I love women 😊"

I LOVE TWO-BIT MATTHEWS - I would die for Daryl Tofa, just something soooooo good about the line he gives after Soda's verse

I have to admit, I was a little worried that they were gonna be pushing some anti-Darry propaganda, but I had no cause to worry, as he's an actual angel. Also it's so funny how fucking Done he is the moment he starts speaking

Something really funny about Steve not getting a verse, but something really sad about Johnny not getting one, but I don't have fully fleshed out thoughts yet so I'm gonna leave that there

But also there's just something about all of them trying to act tough, but all of them just have the voices of angels

Favourite line: "I'm a latch-key kid but they keep changing the locks" and also "you wanna be a fighter? then know just what you're fighting for"

Runs in the Family

I'm upset because this song has been such an ear-worm for me, but it's actually just so sad? There are a couple of these, but this is one of the main ones for me

It immediately makes Darry just such a sympathetic character - it's well documented that Ponyboy doesn't feel like he's enough of a greaser, but I don't think we talk enough about Darry is a reluctant greaser

Side note: but I'm really glad that they included Darry having dropped out of school to look after Soda and Pony, because that was kinda glossed over in the movie, which I felt did Darry a disservice

I just want to hug Brent Comer and tell Darry that he's doing a good job and everything will be okay 🥲

Favourite line: "I don't know what them boys would ever do without me - and what would I do on my own?"

Great Expectations

honestly this song deserves a post all of it's own, and maybe one day I'll do a full analysis of it

but in the meantime, it's fucking GORGEOUS, like Brody Grant has NO RIGHT to sound like this I'm so mad

THE FUCKING HARMONIES I WANNA SCREAM THEY'RE SO GOOD

One of the things I've loved about the soundtrack in general is how Pony in particular draws parallels and comparrisons between Johnny and the other greasers - here it's between Darry and Johnny, and I love it because Pony references in the book that he feels like he and Johnny are the outsiders in the greasers, he feels like neither of them really belong there, and they convey that so well in the musical with these constant comparisons in the songs and music

The continual return back to this idea of a self-fulfilling prophechy - trying to prove that they're not all the same just because they're greasers (like with the different verses in Grease Got a Hold), and this striving for individuality despite the overarching label they've been given

Favourite line: "It's hard to write this story, when this story's writing me"

Friday at the Drive-in

they all just sound so young - that's my main take-away from this song

I love songs in musicals like this where you're forced to be reminded how young the characters are and you have to humanise them a bit more - a bit like with "Drink with Me" in Les Mis

Also anytime that a soundtrack includes the dance-break it makes me so happy 🥲

Favourite Line: "Got no more stress, nothing to worry me - no more teacher's pet or trigonometry"

I Could Talk to You All Night

I need to say that I love this song, but the opening from Cherry is so fucking savage - like fucking hell there's no need to do that to Pony 😂

Again obsessed with Pony not feeling like enough of a Greaser

I'm a sucker for two people who feel lost in their own worlds finding each other and bonding because they can be themselves in a way that they can never be around their other friends

It's just such a pretty duet, and I want more of Brody Grant and Emma Pittman singing - we could have a million songs of the two of them and it wouldn't be enough

Favourite line: "I'd rather read then fight a rumble, but Greasers have to go along"

Runs in the Family (Reprise)

Dude it's such a serious song, and I'm obsessed that despite that there's just Soda being a little shit in the background

"I'll fold your laundry - I'LL FOLD ALL OF IT"

I love that even in this song it's like you can tell he's just so worried about Pony but it's coming out so angry and frustrated

So full of grief for the life he almost had

He's just so angry at Pony for still being able to dream, and it's like he feels like he needs to prepare Pony for real life, because he feels like he can't dream or wish for things anymore

And then just the screeching violin at the end of the song followed by DEAD FUCKING SILENCE, and then it switches to the next song where Pony starts singing acapella it's just herugighadlsiughukdhjsak, y'know?

Favourite line: "Whats the use in dreaming, about a life I'll never know? That ship sailed long ago"

Far Away from Tulsa

okay so I've already said that I'm obsessed with it beginning with Brody Grant acapella, and I know that the songs probably don't flow straight from one to the other in the actual production, but for the sake of the cast recording the effect is incredible

But also, there was absolutely no need to make this song so gay 😂 - Ponyboy, the bisexual icon we all need

It's very reminiscent of Santa Fe, with just kids dreaming for a life that they could have outside of their big city. Especially with the line "this place is real, it's not just in my head", which is VERY similar to "just be real is all I'm asking, not some painting in my head", but I'm okay with it because Brody Grant is incredible

But that line, as well as the one "'Ponyboy you're just a dreamer', that's what both my brothers say" are also really great links back to the previous song with the references of him being a dreamer, and that being what sets him apart from the other Greasers

I also just wanna say that I think it's criminal that there weren't more Pony/Johnny duets. Sky Lakota-Lynch and Brody Grant own my soul

Also catch me being emotional over Johnny's dream being wanting a family - he doesn't realise that he's already got one in the gang 🥺 (I could write an essay about this and Dally's continued use of 'little brother')

OKAY ALSO OBSESSED WITH THE CIRCLE BACK TO GREAT EXPECTATIONS, AND WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW THE LYRICS CHANGE FROM

"Torn between what is and what could be. It's hard to write this story when this story's writing me"

TO

"It's all becoming clear, there's no way we're gonna find that here"

GOTTA ESCAPE TULSA TO ESCAPE THEIR FATE, SOMETHING AGAIN ABOUT SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES, I JUST CAN'T

Favourite line: "I'm tired of blindly watching as we're inching towards the ground"

Run Run Brother

There's so much to say about this song, but I literally can't formulate the words, so it's probably gonna be one that I come back to and properly analyse later. so in the meantime, here are my key take-aways

right from the beginning, it gives just an "oh-shit" feeling, just so much urgency and desperation

All three of them have such different singing voices and styles and the combination of the three just makes me so happy and I don't even know how to like express what I'm feeling

Back to the thing about Dally always calling Johnny (and Pony, but we're emotional about Johnny here) "brother"

the music is just so fitting - I feel like I need to be up and moving every time I hear it, like if I ran ever this would be on the playlist 😂

And I'm going insane over the echoes of what has been previously been said - the "grease isn't given it's something you earn", and "let's leave this behind, let's just get up and go" like you're FORCED to face that they are being given what they want but in a really terrible way

Favourite line: "I hate to make you go, but there ain't no other way"

Justice for Tulsa

okay so I know that this is a really important song and everything, but I will admit this is the one I tend to skip most

I will say I think this song would hit harder if they kept with the themes of police brutality that there are in the novel and movie with regards to Dally's death (going off what I've heard about the script changes from people who have seen it, I can't verify myself)

The song feels very claustrophobic, with everyone just trying to blame everyone else, which I think is really well done. Especially with the multiple voices coming in with "you know just what you did"

And it does show the bias of the world trying to blame the Greasers just by reputation alone, which is thematically nice

and also just the kinda mob mentality of the whole thing, especially at the end, with a declaration of war

Favourite line: "or we could send them back a message, take an eye for an eye"

Death's at My Door

I think I've seen somewhere that this is the opening song for the second act and I just - fucking hell, what an opener 😂 they really just wanna destroy all of us, huh?

EDIT: I've been corrected, and it's Justice for Tulsa that starts act 2 - my bad guys, I don't know where I saw otherwise. JfT starting act 2 makes soo much more sense 😂

I wanted to like reach through my headphones somehow and hug Brody Grant, like holy shit

The first time I heard it all I could think about was how much he's going to blame himself when Johnny (and Dally) do die - especially with Johnny having comforted Pony about it

And I'm just emotional about the exploration of Pony thinking of himself as a burden on everyone he loves, especially going back to what Darry says to him in Runs in the Family reprise, just confirming everything that Pony already worries about himself

Favourite line: "I don't believe in the death that you're bringing - the reason I'm living is you"

Throwing in the Towel

I just love brothers okay? This song made me want to like message all my siblings and tell them I love them

I loved that we see Pony's inner thoughts and fears about being a burden on his brothers, immediately followed by seeing Darry's own thoughts and feelings - the two of them being so similar in how they blame themselves for everything

All three of the Curtis brothers being terrified of losing anyone else

AND THIS IS THE SODA CHARACTER REDEPTION I NEEDED - he becomes more than just the womaniser, you can see him having like actual thought and feelings, and the amount of emotion in Jason Schmidt's voice as he's trying to reassure Darry, like this song and Soda's letter gets across everything that makes Soda my favourite character

And there's something to be said about how they're finally like communicating their emotions 😂

Favourite line: "I know your head is full of doubt, but brother that's what love is all about"

Soda's Letter

Musical letters my beloved ❤️

I love songs like these - they're always just so vulnerable

It links to Tulsa '67 Reprise with the reference to how Soda kinda keeps the family all together. This song you can like see the strain that it has on him, trying to keep the brothers who he loves so much together, by trying to tell Pony that Darry does love him even though he shows it in a very different way

also anyone who has seen it and made it this far in the post can you tell me whether they keep in the bit about Pony reading this really heartfelt letter only to go "Soda's so dumb he can't fucking spell" because it's all I could think about when I listened to it for the first time

Favourite line: "Your brother needs you just as much as you need him, and brother we ain't doing to good alone"

Hoods Turned Heroes

The triumphant return of my beloved Two-Bit, and he's doing some king shit

I love him, okay?

This is another song where I know it's really important, but I actually don't have much to say about it, other than I do really enjoy it

Favourite line: "It's time to celebrate Greasers, take pride in the Greaser name"

Hopeless War

I love that it's just Cherry begging Pony not to change, and hoping that he's still an outsider of the Greasers like she is for the Socs, a hope that the two of them are still kindred spirits even after everything that happened

She knows that the rumble is gonna be where Pony loses that last bit of dreamer in him because he's holding just so much anger at the world - I dunno, there's something there I'm sure 😂

it's such a smooth transition into "Trouble" and I wanna SCREAM it's so good

Favourite line: "even if you win, it doesn't change a thing"

Trouble

It feels like a war chant or something

The music is just so agitated

It's like Run Run Brother where I feel the need to be up and moving

Favourite line: "Do it for Johnny, even the scores, time to rally the crew"

Little Brother

I get chills every time I listen to it

Something about Joshua Boone's voice guys, I don't even know like how someone goes about beginning to talk about it, but whoever takes over as Dally has got some big shoes to fill

It's a lament to Johnny, and I feel like I listen to it and I feel the same anger and indignation that Dally feels

It's a song where I listen to it and I know, even without having seen the production, how I'd stage it and that always makes me excited

The longer the song goes on, the more uneasy you feel listening to it

It links him and Darry together again, with how he blames himself for everything that happened to his little brother, he feels like he should have been able to protect Johnny, the way that Darry always tries to protect Ponyboy

The final tempo increase and the discordant violin at the end, and it feels like even just listening to it you're watching him fall into a grief-led madness, and his certainty that there's only one way that his story can end

Favourite line: "They can't take anymore from me - if I ain't got you, then I ain't got nothing else"

Stay Gold

It feels somehow criminal to put these songs next to each other, but I mean obviously they have to be - that's how they want you to feel, but it doesn't mean that I'm not mad about it

I've listened to it like a million times and it still brings me to tears every now and then

There's something about having the hopelessness of "Little Brother", with Dally bring so apologetic at having failed Johny, followed by Johnny asking Pony to tell him that there's still good in the world

Just how much everyone in this story needs each other and they don't realise that the others need them too, yknow?

Johnny being Dally's "gold" - a lot to say about that but yknow, this is already long as fuck

The simplicity of the music itself (same as with Soda's letter - makes them thematically the same blah blah blah with them both being letters and all that), but it makes the song much more vulnerable than some of the others - nothing for Sky Lakota-Lynch to hide behind

Also that line: "I have looked into a thankful father's eyes, telling me I've saved his daughters life", and how that links to what Johnny says in the book about the little girl's life being worth more than his - I dunno, it just got me emotional, okay?

Favourite line: "I hold on to the good 'cause I've made my peace with all the bad" and also "It's easy to forget when you're trying just to make it through"

Tulsa '67 Reprise

WE MADE IT BOYS (seriously though, for real, if you made it this far, thanks for reading through my descent into madness 😂 and please send your own thoughts and such, bc I'm desperate to hear other people's thoughts)

I said it at the beginning, but I think the reprise of this song makes the exposition at the beginning worth it

At the beginning we hear Ponyboy as a dreamer, and at the end he still has that, but rather than idolising and making everything spectacular, he sees beauty in the mundane - he sees it in his brothers, his friends, all of that

The call backs to the original song as well, which allow us to go back to the theme of looking at individuality - the Greasers wanting to be seen as more than just characatures, and by the end they are like fully-fleshed out people rather than just the basic stock figures we initially get them introduced as in Grease Got a Hold

The clearest examples are, of course, Darry and Soda

Darry goes from being "could have been a football star, people say he had a ticket out" to instead being "the toughest guy I've ever known"

Soda goes from "suffers from a broken heart" to "this family's life and soul"

and then it goes from "got no parents, we fend for ourselves" to "can you imagine how proud mum and dad would be"

just something so beautiful about that, I dunno

There's more I could say about the themes of brotherhood and individuality ("grease as their disguise", for example), but I'll spare it for now

Favourite line: "Just too damn good for growing old, and in his memory I stay gold"

(finally - if you've stuck around to the end, I've also recently set up an instagram account, just for me, so please also check that out if you wanna hear more about my thoughts about random musicals and stuff!)

Freddie 🐸 (Instagram)

[williamrikers]

thoughts on the first episode of 4 minutes

everyone seems to be doing these now, so i'll join in bc i need a way to process what i just saw. putting this under a cut bc of spoilers—if you are familiar with boc's other works (especially kinnporsche and dff) i strongly recommend you try and avoid spoilers before watching! i watched this episode not knowing what was coming and That Scene made me shriek so loudly i probably scared my neighbours. ANYWAY.

okay let's get the big thing out of the way first. bas and fuaiz. HOLY SHIT. i was literally pausing the whole time to text my friend just "WHAT" over and over. They Did That.

let me break this down. boc took one look at the current politics regarding shipped couples in bl, said "yeah we're not doing that" and let bas and fuaiz have a whole entire sex scene. (while gmmtv, for example, let phuwin and thor not even touch lips on wednesday club because phuwin is part of a sacred Shipped Couple.) AND WHAT A SEX SCENE IT WAS!!! i am pretty sure we're gonna see everyone's bare ass over the course of this show. if this is what they're showing us in the very first episode for a couple who i'm guessing might not be endgame?? i mean. damn. what will jes and bible get up to??? mark me down as scared and horny 🫣

sex in boc shows is usually pretty explicit but in this case it's also. just a thing two people do? it's not romanticised. it's strongly implied that tonkla is having sex with korn because korn is paying him for it. korn is older and from an incredibly rich family, and while they were sweet with each other and obviously both enjoyed it, it did feel like a transaction a little bit.

what i found most impressive about this scene was that we got to see tonkla being left alone afterwards and then visibly dealing with that. we could watch him processing—i don't think i've ever seen this kind of post sex unhappiness depicted in bl, and it was so beautifully subtle! we don't yet know whether tonkla was just unhappy with how that particular evening went or if he is unhappy with the arrangement as a whole, but Something Is Definitely Up and it is so incredibly intriguing.

while we're talking about korn, the family dynamics in this show have me in a chokehold. bas and bible as brothers was a genius casting choice, they really do feel like siblings, they have a very sweet vibe together while korn is obviously worried about his younger brother. the whole deal with their father's illegal business of which korn only learns when he is supposed to manage it, the way korn treats his father in general, korn's mother having passed away shortly after his birth and korn being raised by his step-mother (great's mom), it's all so incredibly juicy. bas just has so much presence on screen, he is an absolutely wonderful actor and at this point, i am almost more invested in his story than in the main story 🤭

speaking of which: love that bible got one of his cats to act with him 😂😂 thailand's number one cat dad. but yeah, i am Intrigued, i am seated, i am so happy to be alive to witness this. i don't think there's a lot to be said on this yet bc most of the episode was exposition and great learning about his new powers, and also the narrative tying them to near-death experiences so that we know what we're dealing with going forward. (shout-out to job here bc it was so nice to see him again and also so weird to see him as a character who is actually smart haha 😂)

the production value of this show is off the charts. the first scene of great being pulled back in time was ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING. literally the best i've ever seen out of thailand. boc are taking their craft very seriously and it is just such a joy to watch.

also, the numbers everywhere! it got to the point that i was like, oh of COURSE she is in room number 4, WHERE ELSE?? 😂😂

i am so seated for this show. like i cannot express how seated i am. BRING IT ON, BE ON CLOUD.

[xxthunderthedragonxx]

since ive been wofposting alot i thought i should post my wof deepseaship designs i made a little while ago

if i drew them again now id. probably change a few things again...especially shadows. i dont really like how hers looks? could use a few tweaks(maybe ill make nightwings look a bit like nightfuries.....LOL)

im gonna put the info about them under a cut bc i talk a lot/spoilers for arc 1 and a bit of 2 i think but its not necessary to read lol

their whole thing takes place during the times that the nightwings were kidnapping the rainwings, uh i have not read the books in a while and i dont have very good memory so apologies if some of the info here is incorrect lol

shadow is a blood moon nightwing, um, i am not sure how. im pretty sure i had a reason but i dont really remember. im pretty sure he is like fatespeaker, their powers are really faint. im not sure which powers i decided to pick for them ..they were a mindreader at first but im starting to think a prophet would be horribl- i mean great for them. though i think the 'projecting thoughts to other dragons' idea is real fun and could be interesting with dulled powers like shadow has. well see lol riptide is a rain/sea hybrid, but he got the Sunny Treatment and looks more rainwing. hes from royalty Somehow, so his wings have the royal seawing patterns on them but everyone thinks its just some cool weird pattern. i also imagine rainwings have frills on their head/neck like seawings but not nearly as big (its more in the ears for rainwings), but his is. well. like his hair maybe he does not have venom, im not sure, he can breathe underwater longer than most rainwings tho

i called riptide in this au "rainfall" because riptide is already a canon character, i want to pick a name for shadow as well but ive been stuck on it for a while lol i had one picked but i dont like it so

aanyway long story short, shadow meets rainfall in the rainforest, they fall in love, forbidden love angst happens, shadow is forced to kidnap rainfall to save himself after getting caught, The Horrors happen, and then the rainwings all get rescued including rainfall and they reuinite and happily ever after not realy though because they need to sort out, yknow, the fact shadow did that to him, but,

well they end up together again anyway because its me.

they also have individual backstories as well but i dont feel like getting into that rn, its basically their normal backstories in canon but wof-ified

[suffarustuffaru]

interesting details about otto + a few other miscellaneous stuff in season 3’s op and ed (may have vague spoilers)

hello :3 i love yapping so real quick im gonna talk abt some fun stuff i noticed in the op and ed in regards to otto (+ a few other things) under the cut :3 i wont be explicitly mentioning spoilers but i will be alluding to spoilers so read at your own risk!

woo so lets start with these shots from the op!! these are subaru and otto's introduction shots (at least, the first shots focusing solely on them) in the opening - these show off more of the background work in priestella (with the intriguing detail of putting subaru beatrice and garfiel otto in pretty specific places...) but also they do pair subaru and otto off with beatrice and garfiel often in the ed and op.

which makes sense - those are their respective emotional and fighting support blondes with pinkish red outfits!! theyre both pairs who've become closer throughout post arc 4 (and they are paired together often in canon, such as when roswaal in ep1 notes to emisuba to bring ottogarf along with them), though its interesting to note how much these shots of subaru and otto parallel each other. backs turned to the audience - and then they turn around to look at you for a moment with soft, neutral expressions... though while subaru and beatrice hold hands as they usually do, otto stands behind garf.

beatrice and subaru are of course paired again in this shot of the entire emilia camp together, and its fun to note that emisuba and ottogarf are put in paralleling positions here too!! (also i always forget how tall otto is especially with that damn hat until you put him next to his camp members lajdfls) (and, of course, in true rezero fashion both the op and ed loop right around back to the beginning! its seriously so cool to me that they keep doing that.)

speaking of the ed, these shots actually completely slipped my mind the first several times ive watched it - it took me seeing a screenshot of this to finally notice that otto is actually right there, sitting near anajuli. and thats because the ed does a lot to hide otto.

in general, the op and ed both have otto facing his back to the audience a good amount, and hes also the main arc 5 emilia camp member with the least eye catching screentime in the op and ed. which makes sense both bc he doesnt need more screentime than he warrants and also bc he is very much a side character thats well aware that he is a side character. hes the supporting role, the quiet support, and it shows very cleverly in both his writing and screentime. if youre a novel reader youve probably noticed this; the anime does a very interesting job of handling his screentime this season.

so in the ed, the ana camp and emilia camp are paired together, most likely bc of their growing relations and their intertwined interactions from here on out (such as garf and mimi getting paired together, hence extra triplet action in this shot). theres a lot of light and dark interplay in the ed (more on that in a second) and the light catches our eye here, especially with the triplets being the most active players in this scene - emilia sitting outside, the triplets running around which makes you more likely to look at them and less at the right side of the shot.

it's interesting how ana, julius, and otto are put together at the same table here. ana, partially in the light, but ana, julius, and otto are in the shadows here. julius, partially obscured by otto, then otto, partially obscured by plants thatre suspiciously the color of his cloak, along with flowers thatre purple and blue....

then subaru walks on screen, drawing our eye more to the right side, but subaru also overrides otto and julius in the process.....

the ana and emilia camp shots also echo the other camp intro shots in the ed - the priscilla camp + liliana on a boat going underneath a bridge, the shot cutting right to felt and crusch camp right as the shadow passes over pris camp + liliana... and then the crusch camp in shadow, their faces purposefully obscured as felt and reinhard walk towards them, into shadow... and of course, the group pairings here are done very purposefully.

in general like i said earlier, theres a lot of interplay between dark and light in this ed. the establishing shots of priestella, for example, make the contrast stark.

the archbishop shots in the ed go from light to dark, at different points in the day - we see sirius and regulus in daylight (as they made their first appearances in broad daylight), capella at dusk, gluttony at night, and of course, regulus at night again as reinhard and subaru rise up to fight him. sirius and regulus in their daytime shots are purposefully in shadow as well - and the bright white light comes back with subaru's final portion of the ed (calling back to stuff like rezero s1 op and ed 1!).

the ed is also called "nox lux". which...

:)

anyway - emilia and beatrice right next to subaru, ottogarf being put near each other again - its a cute little detail :D !! i love garf's big grin pfft.

and lastly....... of course, we can't forget this blink and you miss it shot from the op.........

[plounce]

was talking with oomves about my jerkwol (prior post about him), specifically how my only wolcred is that awful rabbit who thancred dumps for urianger, and a short summary of jerkwolcred+thanuri relationship history got erased so i ended up writing an extremely long summary. which is under the cut, along with a picture of jerkwol, the wol who all the scions justifiably don't want anything to do with. he finally has a name (lyelt)

btw trans woman urianger she/her pronouns. my city my rules my beautiful girl

in arr they were fwb, especially when thancred was veering into alcoholism in the patches. they weren’t especially emotionally close, but lyelt would say thancred was his favorite of the scions. they picked it back up in hvw patches - lyelt did mourn haurchefant bc “he was the ONLY ONE to always be there for me, to never criticize me, to always support me and only ever say nice things about me” (haurchefant was also at camp dragonhead most of the time.)

thancred was in a bad place. at his lowest. lyelt offered to pick up where they left off and thancred agreed. “finally, someone who doesn’t pity me, someone who doesn’t treat me like i’m about to fall apart, someone who doesn’t care about my feelings.” it’s not a bad time, they enjoy themselves, thancred gets a goal to pursue (making someone else feel good) and lyelt gets to be the center of attention with minimal expectation to reciprocate. although thancred stays awake for a long time after. leaves in the middle of the night. lyelt appreciates not having to deal with a morning after, so it’s never commented on. it’s easy (because thancred’s doing so bad).

they meet in the first. lyelt is happy to see him - thancred is mostly just focused on his emotional problems and doesn’t really expect to pick things back up again. during stb lyelt built up an image of thancred as "you'll put up with whatever and still stay standing like it's normal, you don't expect me to be faithful, you're handsome and witty, you’re not annoying and self-righteous, you put up a fight but never insist you're right.. maybe you could be the one?" (again, while thancred was not there) while thancred perceived them as “when we’re both in town and feel like it we’ll sleep together no-strings-attached. i respect you as someone incredibly powerful and important. i don’t expect much of you emotionally”. lyelt hits on him a couple times throughout il mheg when they’re alone, but thancred either doesn’t notice bc he’s so stressed or sort of brushes him off because it’s not the time.

post-titania, lyelt directly propositions thancred at the bookman’s shelves; thancred declines. he and urianger are almost maybe sort of kind of heading a certain direction, and while thancred’s still not sure if he’ll do anything about it (he doesn’t deserve her, after all, and in general he’s been keeping his heart locked up tight), he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, and in any case he just really isn’t in the mood. lyelt is still in the post-battle high and thinks he deserves something besides sleeping on a musty old rug in a dilapidated old cottage so he does not take the rejection well. he eventually gets thancred to say it’s because of urianger, which lyelt really doesn’t take well. lyelt has not ever really cared for urianger - ugly, weird, not important or especially useful. (he doesn’t actually care that much about the WoDs stuff bc he never cared much for minfilia either, but this will come to change once he pulls it into his pile of reasons to hate urianger.) lyelt wasn’t impressed by urianger’s makeover earlier and just thinks she looks awkward and strange (urianger is also not out to anyone besides thancred and ryne, who are the ones she’s been in contact with. the twins catch on pretty fast (due to at least one of them being trans) and start using they/them without saying anything. y’shtola will later directly ask her about it and she will tell her. but other than that she is a very private person and i don’t know if she ever tells lyelt about it - it’s a very tender vulnerable thing, for her, and from a childhood of being bullied she knows to hold all soft personal things close to the heart. not that lyelt would like. use that against her, i don’t want to make transmisogyny a part of his character bc that’s unpleasant, but i just don’t think she’d ever give him the info because she already feels socially threatened by him).

lyelt and thancred get into an argument (see the dialogue in the linked post at the top) (i did try to start writing this scene for ffxivwrite but im lazy, you can see the wip here + here), and while thancred has had [negative sims interaction icon] about lyelt before, this is the first time he’s truly gotten angry with him. lyelt is just pushing all the buttons he can to get back at thancred for the “insult” - thancred’s failures, their past history, and most awfully insults towards urianger - until thancred just storms off because that’s what he does in emotional stress. he goes to urianger and rests his head against her shoulder for a moment. she wordlessly strokes his hair until he straightens up.

as shb continues, lyelt continues negging thancred, being “subtly” rude to urianger (you know the way), and touching him in front of her. she just sort of looks away uncomfortably. she was vaguely aware of them sleeping together in arr (moenbryda told her), and is like… “ah. okay. i should have expected. maybe if i had said anything… done anything… but i’m just a coward. and i’m difficult - i want too much from him. i’m strange.” etc. but she doesn’t say anything. she has no claim over him, anyway. nothing was ever said or done. and with all the things that may be hurtling towards them, maybe it’s for the best. maybe they would have regretted it - if ryne sacrifices herself - when everyone finds out about the secrets she’s keeping for the exarch… it’s for the best. it’s for the best. she closes up. of course thancred would want someone more confident, more attractive, more in-control - less needy, less emotionally desperate, less weird, not someone who has caused so much pain to him. she was foolish for imagining, thinking, hoping… she was living in a bubble that has been popped by the warrior of light. it’s for the best. she can only be herself, and keep on track for the most important thing of all - keeping the exarch’s plan intact. even if everyone hates her, even if everything she wants falls from her hands.

after the attack on lakeland, when they’re making preparations to go to amh araeng, after ryne has told thancred she wants to give him what he wants, when thancred is again at his lowest, he gives in to the pressure (and the rush of pressing on the bruise and splitting it open into a wound, of making the wrong decision, of just giving somebody what they want) and they fall into bed. it kinda sucks. thancred does not finish. lyelt is mad at him because he’s distracted. “are you thinking about urianger?” “no, no, i’m just…” “well focus on what’s happening in front of you instead. i’m right here. i’m here.” after, thancred leaves before lyelt’s asleep. he goes back to his rooms and bathes. of course lyelt left marks. bastard. and then he leaves the washroom and ryne is packing - one small pile of things to take, one big pile of things to leave behind, and of course caving to lyelt didn’t help. everything important to him is crumbling around him despite him, because of him.

amh araeng. miserable crew for a road trip. urianger doesn’t know that they slept together. thancred knows that lyelt would use it against her - or against him. lyelt is mad at thancred for being a disappointing lay, and is mad at urianger and ryne for being the reasons why. lyelt does not really talk to or think about ryne - he’s never cared for children, and he isn’t fond of needy people, and ryne is very needy (due to being a traumatized child.). so i think a lot of the conversations between the wol and ryne don’t happen because he just brushes her off and she’s very intimidated by him, because he’s so confident. he knows exactly what he’s for and what he wants. unlike her. he doesn’t care what other people think about him. he’s the exact opposite of her.

urianger does what she does in canon: urge the wol to go to thancred and be there for him. she’s trying to let go gracefully, quietly. lyelt doesn’t know what to make of it: is she trying to sabotage him? what is she plotting? but he wants to get away from having to deal with ryne, and would rather leave that to urianger. imagine all the scenes where thancred tries to share about his past with minfilia but the wol is either tapping his foot and looking at his watch or trying to feel him up (trying to drive the wedge further, even if he’s still pissed off). eventually thancred pushes him away and heads back to twine on his own, deeply uncomfortable. he feels awful all around, and again he wants to seek out urianger for comfort - but he betrayed her, and he doesn’t know what to do about her, and most of his mind is just a giant tangle about ryne and minfilia and not knowing what to do - so he just avoids her. lyelt gets back and hands the heart over to urianger with a bit of a catty comment that urianger isn’t sure what to do with. thancred sees them talking and is terrified that he told her they slept together.

thancred watches urianger bring the talos to life and feels that same warmth and affection try to swell up within him that he felt so many times in the bookman’s shelves - and then he sees ryne run away and he’s back to feeling like shit. he watches urianger go to her and speak with her and be the guardian she’s always deserved and it’s that love curdling into self-hatred and - and lyelt says something incredibly unhelpful and callous and kind of cruel, and that’s what makes thancred walk away without saying anything in this verse.

urianger bids them farewell, hoping ryne lives. thancred makes his last stand, not sure if he hopes he’ll die - it would make everything so much easier. lyelt gets ryne the rest of the way, but doesn’t go with her into “that white and soundless place.” she emerges herself, her spine straight, and she doesn’t look to lyelt for reassurance. urianger finds thancred out in the desert bleeding out. he says some mostly incoherent but incredibly romantic things to her. she heals him through tears as the other scions arrive and help her, and once he’s stable they haul him to safety. thancred accepts ryne unconditionally and gives her her name. it’s a massive swoop of relief. he starts to think that everything might be okay. maybe he can move past the worst of himself. urianger is full of joy, yet also relief - they’ll be okay without her, when they won’t want her anymore, when she’s revealed for what she is. lyelt is picking at his nails to the side.

back at the crystarium. thancred is trying to talk to urianger, but she keeps making excuses. his mood dampens - she knows. but he keeps trying. if only because she isn’t really talking to anyone right now. y’shtola definitely isn’t talking with her except in hushed, urgent tones. the twins are occupied with saving the world, because they’re good souls. urianger will talk with ryne, though. so thancred ends up sticking pretty close, if only because lyelt comes and tries to find him when he’s alone, but avoids him when he’s with ryne. ryne ends up as a buffer between a lot of the adults in her life. she tries to ask urianger what’s wrong, why she’s so sad, but urianger gently deflects. it’s not her responsibility. which is both true (and something ryne “hypersensitive to adult moods” waters especially needs to hear) and also unhelpful because urianger is deeply miserable.

onward to kholusia. things keep hurtling forward. lyelt is enjoying being the big hero, and thancred is enjoying being a father, but is still very nervous about the whole lyelt mess just lurking in the wings. urianger is walking to her doom (from her perspective). yshtola is keeping a suspicious eye on her. yshtola knows that there’s drama happening but is not especially interested in it. she knows urianger is privy to the exarch’s plan, and she also knows that lyelt is an ass (as ever). y’shtola tries to figure out what’s up with her, but in a very blunt way that does not agree well with urianger’s current emotional state, so they get nowhere.

mt gulg. things come crashing down. when lyelt wakes up back at the crystarium, he seizes upon urianger as the (only available) person to pin all the blame to, and he does it with relish. finally, a way to be justified in how sick he has grown of urianger ruining everything! the villain in his life, and he’s free to be angry! so he says a lot of really horrible, cruel stuff and urianger just takes it. there’s not much she hadn’t already thought herself. and it’s what she deserves. but soon enough y’shtola and thancred come into the room and y’shtola gets between them and argues back (as she has always desperately wished to - everyone is getting to live out their deepest thoughts) and thancred ushers urianger out of the room, but not before lyelt can yell out the secret (“i fucked him, you know! right in this bed! who do you think you are?” etc etc) (i don’t think i’m mean enough to write his lines very easily lmao). thancred winces, lurches, but keeps them moving. y’shtola stays to try and get lyelt’s head on straight (impossible - he storms out). thancred takes urianger to his and ryne’s rooms, and he and ryne do their best to comfort her and to tell her that lyelt was taking it too far and that she is beloved and not to blame, but they don’t really succeed beyond urianger nodding her head and trying to placate them and trying to stop crying, the same as in the other room. thancred does his best to keep his head but eventually he has to make himself leave with the excuse of getting something to eat because he’s so angry at lyelt for his cruelty, and at himself for being a weapon in lyelt’s arsenal against urianger, and for all his past stupid decisions. they don’t talk about the last thing lyelt said. ryne doesn’t know exactly what happened, but this is the moment where her feelings towards lyelt change from intimidation/awe to wariness/dislike.

urianger kneels in apology at the amaro landing. y’shtola tries to stop her. the rest of the scions are deeply uncomfortable. urianger pledges all she can do, and lyelt says something that drives in her guilt and that she owes him for his “forgiveness.” alisaie nearly says something, but they all know he needs to stay in control of himself right now. the sky pulsed and flashed during his outburst at urianger earlier - that’s why y’shtola and thancred came in.

the tempest. everyone does what they must, because interpersonal disputes aside, they have a greater purpose. lyelt mostly just doesn’t want to die and wants this shit out of him. (very little sympathy for emet-selch - finds the whole production boring and tiresome. but that’s not what this summary is about)

they return. thancred and urianger sit down and talk, and they manage to do it like mature adults. during that, thancred apologizes for sleeping with lyelt; urianger says there’s no need, it’s not like they made any promises to each other; “but i had, in my head. i wanted to.” they acknowledge their feelings for each other in relief and gladness. thancred assures urianger that even if he ever saw lyelt as a romantic prospect, he certainly hasn’t for a long time and especially not lately, and “why would i, when such a beautiful, kind, intriguing, intelligent–” “oh, cease such flattery–” “-- gorgeous, patient, strong, incredible woman somehow thinks i’m worth her time?” and in the end, the secrets they had worried over mean very little to each other, and it’s easy enough to fall together as they’ve wanted to for so long, as they thought they might.

eden plays out a bit differently. urianger gets invited along on the initial excursion as a way to get her out of the crystarium and away from lyelt. wol presence is minimal if not nonexistent. waters family light party, at least for the first part. thancred negs urianger way less in this verse - when someone is being genuinely intentionally unkind to someone, teasing becomes much less appealing. (thancred does seem to find it easier to be his better self when there is someone being his worst self nearby: see ran'jit)

lyelt becomes very frosty to both of them once it’s apparent they’ve gotten everything they wanted and are together. “well, whatever. thancred hasn’t been fun for a long time. he betrayed me how many times? and here he is, hanging around the biggest traitor. it’s like everyone’s forgotten what urianger has done. well, i haven’t. and i won’t. it was to me, after all.” lyelt continues to bully urianger, and she never really stands up for herself against him. she still feels guilty, and while she doesn’t believe (most of) what he says, it’s just easier to let it slide off her back and not provoke him further. she remembers how this all works. thancred just does his best to act as a shield between them, and he wishes that moenbryda was here.

but eventually, things return to normal. lyelt vaguely “apologizes” for acting as he did when he was under a lot of stress. and the scions make themselves keep working with the only person who can save this world and their home world.

[werepuppy-steve]

taylor (@steddie-island) and i have been in the trenches for the past week creating the most beautiful (and smutty) steddissy au and i'm very 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 about it. it's still mostly headcanons right now with inklings of plot sprinkled in, so i thought i should make a worldbuilding post about it since it's officially being added to my wip pile <3

tagging some people i think would be interested in this: @dangerous-disposition @tboybuck @patchworkgargoyle @thefreakandthehair @starryeyedjanai

@corrodedbisexual @sidekick-hero @spectrum-spectre @munsondickprint @augustjustice

@worstsequence @rozzieroos

it doesn't get real graphic under the cut but putting it under one bc it's a lil long

the beginnings of it are touched on here, but it's expanded a little bit.

it's a modern au. steddissy are still in that platonic/friends with benefits stage: steve and eddie are dating but chrissy is very happy and content being single. she likes that it gives her more freedom to do things without having a controlling partner breathing down her neck every time she turns around.

they're streamers. i don't have their niche's fleshed out yet but they do collabs with each other a lot.

we went into dirty details in dms about the three of them sexting constantly, which turns into them rolling out their onlyfans accounts. they already have so many things filmed just from their texts alone, so why not make money off of it?

some more headcanons and ideas were thrown around (along with taylor giving me snippets of her own steddissy wips that you should def ask her about if she's willing to share them 👀) that i'll probably make a separate post for.

it's been established that chrissy is a squirter

but between all the filthy smut, there's love. so much of it that i get choked up just thinking about it.

i started thinking of people who are in mostly online spaces and have probably never interacted with the queer community in real life, and how they wouldn't have the kindest opinions.

so eddie would get all of these tweets that are like "you're gay but you enjoy having sex with a woman??? [confused math lady] make it make sense." he ignores them at first because randos on the internet aren't entitled to his relationships, but it becomes frequent enough that he starts getting accused of "calling himself gay for clout" and dragging steve and chrissy into it, and then he has to address it.

he does it in a video because he's still dramatic.

"having sex with a woman doesn't make me not gay. i've been gay since i was 15 and a boy gave me my first hickey. chrissy is my platonic partner. yes, she's very cute and adorable and it makes me want to scream sometimes, but i'm not attracted to her because she's a woman. i'm attracted to her because she's my best friend and my feelings for her run so much deeper than romantic love. chrissy doesn't even label herself with a sexuality. she just likes people.

steve is my boyfriend. i'm romantically involved with him and physically attracted to him because he's a man. steve, however, is bi, so he does find chrissy attractive as a woman, and there's nothing wrong with that. they're also not interested in dating each other. the three of us fool around with each other because it's fun and we like making each other feel good and we trust each other. it's nobody else's business what we do."

and because he's a petty little shit (a trait he learned from steve) he posts a video of him and chrissy having the most tendernasty missionary sex, complete with kissing and hand holding.

then it turned into the three of them being roommates. and then somewhere along the line it turned into chrissy being steve and eddie's surrogate and the three of them coparenting (a big win for steve "breeding kink" harrington), because at this stage in their relationship, they're pretty secure in knowing that chrissy is their life partner. they're not Together together, but they know she's not going anywhere.

i think that for them to get to this point, something would've had to happen between chrissy and someone outside of their relationship. someone she's had frequent collabs on onlyfans with, who maybe wanted something more and called her a hypocrite when she said she wasn't looking for anything serious, because of steve and eddie, and wouldn't listen when she insisted that it was different with them.

she tells the boys this and it turns into her coming with sobs of "i'm yours" as she rides steve while eddie fucks him. taylor mentioned they dp her and i said that that would be the moment it kind of clicks for them that this is how they were always meant to be.

and it gave me thoughts about possibly arospec chrissy. she loves her boys with her entire being, but she knows it's not romantic love. like eddie says, it feels deeper than that. to call it "romantic" almost feels like it cheapens their relationship (she knows it doesn't, she knows that eddie and steve's romantic feelings for each other are real and just as important). she's not sure if she's ever felt romantic love for anyone.

and that's all we have for now, outside of the smut alkgjldkfgj. none of them actually care about who the kid belongs to. they've got chrissy's light hair and dark eyes.

[awrkive]

re: anon who just asked u if u received my ask i was talking about the ask thats about tlp! it was about asking for confirmation about tlp timeline??? like if im correct jk and mingyu were bff in undergrad, then thye had a falling off during third year then after grad they never saw each other up until nayeons engagement party right??? and then for the tlp surgeons gang oc and jk knew each other first in first year, then doyeon, then tae in second year, then nayeon during internship?? this is so incoherent but tl;dr i just would like to know the tlp timeline starting from mingyu and jk relationship!!

OHHH OMG i went thru my inbox just now and i didnt really receive it ): it may be tumblr just doing its thing. i see from other blogs here that some asks get lost sometimes sorry about that!! ANYWAY.

below is the official TLP TIMELINE from undergrad to postgrad days. putting it under the cut jic some people are still waiting for the finale to read the entirety

TLP TIMELINE

UNDERGRAD:

1st year-3rd year college: jungkook and mingyu bff era (studied premed together) see their history here

around 3rd year: jungkook dated his first girlfriend park jiyeon. but later on she cheated on him with mingyu. mingyu and jk's friendship was broken off after that

4th year: jk started to date a lot lol a trauma response from his previous experience. wouldnt say he was a fuckboy tho just that he started to get out there more!!! he had and still is having a hard time dating seriously because of what happened with jiyeon.

after graduation, mingyu and him lost contact (intention on both sides most esp jk)

POST GRAD (MED SCHOOL)

1st term, 1st year med school: jk met oc at the law library with his law student friend jimin (see drabble)

2nd term, 1st year med school: jk met doyeon. doyeon develops a crush on jk. the three (oc jk doyeon) formed a study group. oc and eunwoo went out more.

around 2nd sem-ish of first year: oc starts developing feelings for eunwoo (mentioned in part 1 main story how). she then started seeing eunwoo time to time BUT she was pretty much single the entirety of her freshman year in med school

1st sem, 2nd year: taehyung joins the study group. oc and eunwoo became official

3rd year, med school: eunwoo and oc had a falling out. there was an almost confession and kiss that happened between jk and oc (mentioned in pt2) so OC does know that jk liked her BEFORE. but oc and eunwoo dated e/o again.

4th year, med school: jungkook and min sora dated. eunwoo proposed to oc. jk and sora broke up after a year of dating (all of this are mentioned pt2).

RESIDENCY

internship year (1st year residency): oc and eunwoo broke up. nayeon was a co intern and the 5 became friends!

2nd year residency: oc single era. had a hard time moving on from eunwoo for two years ):

3rd year residency: oc has just been dating casually/going to blind dates. so is jk.

4th year residency: PRESENT TIME. this is where the main story starts. oc dates mingyu then yadda yadda.

A LITTLE BIT OF CONFIRMATION

was jungkook really inlove with her for the whole timeline?

i went into detail about this in part 3 but what i will say is that. he had a HUGE crush on oc for the entirety of freshman year but he was really indenial about his feelings. the reason why is bcs he was a bit scared of loving somebody again. and it wasnt too long since park jiyeon around that time so that was definitely a huge factor. he only admitted to himself that he was inlove with oc during second year, when oc and eunwoo had already become official. he tried to move on a lot of times bcs eunwoo and oc just seemed really perfect for each other. this is basically what he does for the entirety of 8 years tbh: try to move on from oc. then dipping back. try to move on again. then dip back. he couldnt make a move for the entirety of 4 years. miss maam was in a pretty much solid relationship. then its another 2 years of oc moving on from eunwoo. the remaining 2 years is just a lot of back n forth of fears and doubts and uncertainties. he admits to being a coward but i think ultimately he respects their friendship a lot and would never want to jeopardize it, hence why it took him so long to confess (and it didnt even come out right lol)

[thedoctorisgroovy]

I come bearing angst!

male reader's a new member of the bau, he also happens to have severe night terrors.

On a long case the team is put up in a motel, reader and spencer are sharing a room. Reader, knowing he'll most likely wake up screaming bc his night terrors get worse when he's in new places, take drastic measures.

He stuffs a balled up shirt in his mouth and cover his mouth with a pillow case tied around their head, a making a rickshaw gag so that if he does wake up Spencer won't hear it.

It backfires, obviously, and when he wakes up from one of the worst night terrors of his life he's convinced for a split second that he can't breath, which leads to him thrashing in an attempt to claw it off his face, which wakes. Spencer up

Maybe it ends with some nice hurt/comfort?

HOLY SHIT I FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED IT.

I am so unbelievably sorry that this took me so long, life has been ROUGH. But here you go my sweet moot, a hurt/comfort fic just for you *kissy face* Fic under the cut so that the ask isn't too long a post.

Theme: Hurt/Comfort, Spencer Reid x Reader

Tags/Warnings: No use of y/n, Night terrors, kidnapping phobia, Spencer gets shot in a dream, ends in fluff, being vulnerable is hard.

Word Count: 1335

DEEP BREATH

You used to love sleepovers. Sure, sharing a motel room while on a work trip isn’t quite the same, but it’s still nice to have someone to talk to and unwind with before sleep. Especially due to the horrors you all witness on a daily basis.

The night terrors started not too long ago which meant that on long, stay-over cases like this one, you were quick at checking in somewhere to get your own room. You’d only joined the team recently too and didn’t feel comfortable sharing your situation with the others quite yet, or worse having an episode and scaring them in the middle of the night.

Distracted by something that Hotch was saying about the victims, you missed your window to snatch up a room all to yourself and look over to see Morgan dangling a keyring on his finger with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Looks like you’re sharing with pretty boy,” he declared loudly, tone dripping with innuendo. You rolled your eyes at him and snatched the key out of his hands. You look over at Spencer who gives you an apologetic smile and feel guilty knowing that you’ll likely be the one apologising later. Spencer approached you carefully, noting the apprehension on your face. He ducked his head slightly and lowered his voice when he spoke, attempting to give your upcoming conversation some privacy from the rest of the group.

“I’m sorry you have to share with me, I know you like your own space but I promise I’m not as bad a roommate as Morgan makes me out to be.”

Your heart sank, under any other circumstances you’re sure he would be lovely to share with. You desperately wanted to explain that he wasn’t the issue at all, but the anxiety of sharing your secret caused your heart to race and palms to sweat. You decided that it was still too soon to tell anyone and would have to come up with something creative tonight so as to not freak Spencer out in the night. You gave him a small smile followed by a mildly dismissive “it’s fine,” and lead you both to your room for the time being.

To say the room was claustrophobic would be an understatement, luckily there were two beds but they were pushed so close together due to the size of the room that it might as well have been a double bed. You lazily dumped your bag onto the bed closest to the window, and announced to Spencer that you were going to take a shower. He replied with a simple “okay” already sat on his bed - perusing the case file and clearly deep in thought. You spent a long time in the shower collecting your racing thoughts and hoping that Spencer would be asleep by the time you emerged. While showering, you had an idea to create some sort of makeshift pillow muffler around your face to use while you slept. If you did wake up in a panic - or god forbid screaming, at least it would reduce the noise and chance at waking Spencer in fright too.

Thankfully, he had passed out, file still in hand and you padded softly towards your bed. Sitting down on the bed, you ball up the pillow case and place it gently over your mouth so as to not restrict air flow and used your pjama t shirt to carefully tie it around your face. After lying down, it took a couple of minutes to adjust to the odd sensation on your face, reminding yourself to breathe deeply and deliberately so that you don’t choke or lose oxygen before and during sleep.

Unfortunately, this night seemed to be the worst nightmare yet. An unsub had you gagged and bound to a chair and you tried to scream for your team but nothing came out. The unsub laughed cockily in your face just before Spencer rounded the corner. As he did, the unsub shot him point blank in between the eyes and that’s when the scream emerged deep from within your chest. You shot up in bed, desperately clawing at the restrictions around your face, repeating Spencer’s name over and over again in sheer upset and panic. Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, causing you to jump and flail even more. Convinced you were still dreaming and the unsub was touching you, you couldn’t hear well enough to realise that it was Spencer trying to soothe you and take the gag off of your face. Eventually, you ripped it off with such sheer force that the pillow and t shirt tore in half and threw it angrily on the floor. As your eyes adjusted to the room, you came to your senses, noticing the outline of a very much alive Spencer hovering next to your bed and looking at you with deep concern.

“Hey, hey it’s me, it’s Spencer” he coos, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry Spencer” you sigh, trying not to burst into tears.

“Did you have a nightmare?” He asks oh so kindly and all you can do is nod your head in response and bite your lip to stop it quivering. Spencer sits on the edge of your bed and moves his hand from your shoulder to your hand, squeezing it slightly. You take a deep breath and sigh, preparing to explain what has now become inevitable.

“I get night terrors, basically every night. I’ve had them for years but they’ve got worse since I started working for the BAU. I dream that you guys are in trouble and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t scream, I can’t call for help, the unsub has me bound and I’m useless.” The tears start flowing now and you can’t stop them. Spencer rubs small circles on your hand with his thumb but doesn’t speak. He just nods slowly and intently. You notice he hasn’t asked about the crumpled mess of cloth on the floor and thank him internally. That was something you loved about Spencer - his inability to pry. You gesture with your head towards the fabric, realising you should probably explain even though he hadn’t asked.

“I didn't want to scare you” you admit looking down into your lap. “I usually wake up screaming and I was embarrassed to admit it to anyone so I just thought I would improvise, but it just made it worse. I’d hoped it would muffle the sound and you’d stay asleep and I could act like nothing happened in the morning. That’s why I was awkward about sharing the room. Not because of you, but because of me.” You wince slightly at the final words, the insecurity of your condition manifesting as guilt.

Spencer takes a second to think before responding, collecting his words carefully.

“I understand why you didn’t tell anyone. It’s scary to be vulnerable. I also know that being new and wanting to fit in seems really important but you’re a vital member of the team already and we all support you. We’re your friends whether you feel that way or not. We have your back and you can tell us anything. I think if you’re struggling with this, you should speak to an FBI counsellor so that the dreams don’t get worse, okay?” You sniffle and nod, looking up into his kind and sleepy eyes. Suddenly he pulls you into a hug that envelops you into his lanky limbs,  it should feel awkward but all you feel is peace and safety for the first time in a long time.

“Try and get some more sleep okay? I’m here if you need me but we have to at the police station in a few hours.” Spencer offers gently. You simply nod, lay back down and close your eyes attempting to rest for a short while. At least time, you might have sweet dreams of being in Spencer’s arms again.

[feyburner]

on your phyllo post you mentioned it wasnt any harder than pie crust, do you have tips for making a good pie crust? i'm a pretty experienced baker but it's the one thing i just can't manage.

Yeah for sure. First I will give some tips, then I will put my own pie crust recipe under the cut. My recipe is also very detailed bc I wrote it with family and friends in mind.

Tips for making a good pie crust:

Fat into flour

Fully incorporating the fat (butter, shortening, lard) into the flour is the most important part. I think probably the most common mistake that leads to dry, half-tough half-melty pie crusts is failing to work the fat into the flour properly. This is because most recipes will say “stop when there’s still large flakes of butter,” which is true, but leads to people stopping when half their flour is still dry. Your goal when working the fat into the flour is not just to mix everything together; it’s specifically to coat the fat particles in flour, and to hydrate the flour so effectively that you require the least liquid (water, vodka) possible to make everything stick together cohesively. It’s not like a cake where you want flour particles suspended in liquid. Least liquid possible. 

So, continue working the fat into the flour until:

All your flour is hydrated and butter-yellow. No dry white flour in the bowl, not even at the bottom. 

The largest chunks of butter are no larger than pea-sized. It should look like coarse, wet sand with granola crumbles of flour-coated butter. 

Then, add your liquid a little at a time, just until you can squeeze a handful of dough together and it retains the clump shape. Then stop immediately even if you haven’t used all the liquid in the recipe. (In fact, it’s a very good sign if you don’t need all the liquid! That means your flour is so hydrated with the butter, you don’t need extra water!) Your dough is still in multiple clumps, that's fine, you will work it together during the next step. 

Don’t worry so much about overworking

Most pie crust recipes are like “DO NOT overwork the dough. Touch it as LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. If you knead it even ONE too many times it will take on the texture of ALLIGATOR HIDE. And then you’re FUCKED.” 

No. You are not fucked. I knead my pie crust until it comes together (like 8-10 times usually) and it’s fine. I even fold layers into my dough, which not all recipes tell you to do and requires further working of the dough. My pie crust turns out tender and beautiful and melt-in-your-mouth every time (not to brag). Don’t knead it like bread, but a few good kneads to make it smooth and cohesive is totally fine. 

It’s much more important to keep things cold and not melt the fat. Warm, melty, greasy fat will ruin a pie crust much faster than overworking. If at any point your fat starts getting shiny or greasy, stop and refrigerate your dough for 30 minutes. 

Know what the point is

The point of working fat into flour is to coat fat particles in flour to form a protective “wall” so when the fat starts melting during the bake, it leaves little air pockets which create a flaky texture (instead of just leaking out and making things greasy).

The point of then adding a bit of water, kneading, adding layers, and rolling out is to “stick everything together” and further incorporate the fat and hydrate the flour, so your end result is smooth, pliant, strong but flexible and tender dough—imagine the texture of cool, well-worn leather that slides beautifully in your hands, rather than shaggy moist dough. 

You need to get the dough from “shaggy crumbles” to that smooth, beautiful, shapeable texture. It will lighten again in color—from deep wet yellow to pale gold. It will feel cool to the touch, never sticky. That’s your goal!

I think those are my biggest tips. Now here is my recipe.

ALL-BUTTER PIE CRUST RECIPE

MAKES: 1 generous double-crust pie 

INGREDIENTS

3 ½ cups (420g) flour

1 Tbsp white sugar

1 tsp kosher salt

1 ½ cups (339g) butter, cold, diced

1 Tbsp white vinegar or vodka 

½ cup minus 1 Tbsp (105g) ice cold water

DIRECTIONS

Add 1 Tbsp vinegar to liquid measuring cup. Fill with cold water to ½ cup line. Put in the freezer to chill. 

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, and salt. 

Add diced butter in 2 parts, tossing in between to coat with flour. 

Work fat into flour: Smash each piece of butter with your knuckles to form large flakes. Continue to work butter into flour by smashing and rubbing/smearing butter pieces between flour-coated fingers. Stop when the mixture resembles coarse, crumbly clay soil, with small, granola-like crumbles of butter and only a few larger flakes. Work efficiently: Keep butter cold. (If butter starts to get greasy, put the bowl in the freezer for 15 minutes.)

Add ice water mixture in 2 parts, mixing with spatula to combine. Stop when large clumps form. Ideal texture: moist but not sticky or wet; clumps together and retains its shape when squeezed. 

Turn dough onto a clean, well-floured surface. Using floured hands, knead 3-4 times, just enough to form a cohesive ball without any dry crumbles. Using a rolling pin, flatten dough into a 1” thick rectangle. Fold dough over itself in thirds, like a business letter, to form rough layers. Repeat 5-7 times, until flour and fats are fully incorporated and smooth, with only a few remaining flecks of butter and no sticky spots. (Dust sticky spots and exposed butter with flour as you go.)  

Form dough into a smooth ball. Divide in half. Shape each half into a 1” thick disc.

If you are using crust today: Roll out discs, between 2 sheets parchment paper or floured silpats, into 12-14” diameter circles (aiming for 2” overhang when placed in 8-9” pie tin, so measure against your pie tin) ⅛” to ¼” thick (the width across your pinky fingernail). 

Shape crust: Press into pie tin. Slice off any uneven bits (press them lightly into the bottom), leaving an overhang of 2” all the way round. Fold the overhang over itself backward (so the rough, uneven edges are hidden between the crust and pie tin—not pressed into the inner shell), then crimp the folded edge with your fingers, pinching sideways. Chill shaped shell in fridge or freezer for at least 1 hour before using.

If you are NOT using crust today: Wrap discs in plastic wrap and store in fridge for up to 1 week. Let sit out 5-10 minutes before using to soften slightly, but not long enough to reach room temp. (Store in freezer indefinitely. Thaw in fridge before using.) 

TO PAR-BAKE (if using a custard or no-bake filling):

Roll out crust. Press into pie tin, fold over edges, and crimp. Chill the shaped shell in the freezer for 30+ minutes. Preheat oven to 400°. Line the inside of the frozen shell with 1 or 2 sheets parchment paper (crumple paper first to shape more easily). Fill the lined shell with pie weights, dried beans, uncooked rice, or white sugar, heaping against the sides to prevent shrinkage. 

Bake 15 minutes. Remove from oven and carefully remove paper with pie weights inside. Prick bottom of shell with a fork in 1” intervals. 

For a partially baked crust, bake 10-12 more minutes until bottom crust is just beginning to brown.

For a fully baked crust, bake 15-18 more minutes until bottom crust is fully golden brown.

NOTES

For a classic flaky crust, make as written. 

For a tender, short crust (short as in crumb, i.e. shortbread), use a food processor to combine ingredients through Step 4, when large clumps form, then finish by hand. 

Small, thin (not large!) butter streaks = pieces of butter melt and give off steam, forming air pockets that make flaky layers. Butter completely incorporated, no visible flecks = melts-in-your-mouth, crumbly texture. 

Keep things cold. The worked dough should be soft, flexible, and smooth, like well-worn leather, and feel cool to the touch as you roll it out. You should be able to transfer it to your pie tin easily with your hands, without having to scrape it off the counter and without any rips. (Dust liberally with flour as needed as you work dough to form layers. Brush off excess at the end.) The dough should never feel warm or sticky. If it feels sticky, brush with flour and/or refrigerate it for 20 minutes. 

Do not overwork the dough, though some kneading is fine! The addition of vinegar helps prevent gluten formation. (You don’t want a chewy crust.)  

Coating butter pieces in flour gives them a protective “wall” to prevent melting. 

To deepen flavor: (a) Sub 1 tsp water with vanilla or almond extract, or (b) Add 2-3 tsp spices (cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice, freshly ground black pepper, lemon pepper, chili powder, turmeric, etc.), or (c) Add up to 1 Tbsp herbs or citrus zest. 

[lovelyhan]

what are your svt fic recs??? like your holy grail??

took me a while to put this together BUT here it is!

disclaimer that i've been a carat for like . a month so it's a stretch to say i've read a lot of svt content. tho from what i've consumed so far, my favorites are listed under the cut :>

i'll start with the ones i found on ao3 first hehe

push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by dontflailmenow × tags: s.coups x reader; camboy!cheol, enemies to lovers

the first EVER svt fic i've read, and it was just so WOW!!!! basically, reader recently broke up w her ex, which is seungcheol's best friend. cheol and mc aren't on the best of terms (always arguing etc.) so when she realizes that the camboy she's been lusting over to get over her ex turns out to be cheol, some...problems start to arise i'm pretty sure i saw this one around tumblr but i'm too lazy to find the op's blog i'm so sorry HEUUUHEU but i really loved it to pieces, and it ultimately flung me into svt fanfic tumblr altogether :D

The bore next door by HoneyAteez × tags: wonwoo x reader; blind dates, suffocation via cock LOL

another fic that i am fairly sure is cross-posted on tumblr too, but can't be assed to find -- your mother sets you up with good neighbor jeon wonwoo, and he turns out to be the worst sexual deviant on the face of the earth, fucking the soul out of your body right after the first date.

Walking in Traffic by versigny × tags: mingyu x reader; soulmate au, teens being teens

literally crying as i type this because it's one of the most beautiful coming of age stories i've ever read, and it was written back when i was still in mf HIGH SCHOOL 😭 reader and gyu find out they're soulmates way too early, and pretty much despise each other growing up, but they eventually come to terms with their soul bond along the line.

close proximity by chilligyu × tags: mingyu x reader; roommates, LOTS OF ANGST

there's no explicit smut in this one, but the plot twists and the narration itself threw me in for SUCH a goddamn loop that it would be a hate crime not to include this here. mingyu becomes reader's roommate upon bff!wonwoo's recommendation, and they and up falling for each other, and [gets dragged off stage because spoilers]

now for the tumblr recs!

sapiosexual by @smileysuh × tags: s.coups x reader; sugar daddy au, psych daddy!cheol,,,,

it's a pretty straightforward sugar daddy au, but what makes it different is how it's written, y'know? cheol clearly lays all of the details for he and reader to agree on, making sure all the boundaries are clear and there aren't any blurred lines. seungkwan as your best friend is also a really enjoyable addition (he's the one who coined the term psych daddy LOL), AND i just love the author's humor in general.... quirofilia [bursts out laughing]

A Break by @smileysuh (again bc i'm obsessed w their work) × tags: mingyu x reader x wonwoo; svt as babysitters, budding poly

so op has an entire assortment of meanie poly fics, but this one is probably my most favorite bc it touches on a more endearing and responsible side to mingyu :') he and reader just can't sit down and fuck because he's busy worrying about their child every ten minutes LOL. enter jeon wonwoo, who is not only baby saebyeok's favorite uncle, but has been pining for the reader since time immemorial. of course, gyu has known all along, and asks them if they're both down to have a threesome (this is literally a terrible way to summarize the story, but i suggest you just read it &lt;3) OH OH bonus: hoshi tries to sacrifice the baby to the tiger gods in a summoning circle made of tiger plushies. if that doesn't sell this fic for you, i don't know WHAT will

Love, Actually by @haet-sal × tags: jun x reader; cheating but not really? whipped single dad!jun

aka the fic that catalyzed my jun brain damage. reader works as jun's secretary but she isn't very...good at her job, but he keeps her around anyway bc 1.) his kid likes her, and 2.) HE likes her. problem is: she has a boyfriend-not-boyfriend, but Because that boyfriend-not-boyfriend is an asshole, she kind of uses jun as a constant rebound, poor guy (it has a happy ending tho i promise!!)

an untitled dk friends 2 lovers by @husbandhoshi × tags: dk x reader; idiots in love

this is actually preceded by 2 more drabbles from the op, but i'm linking this one specifically bc it made me physically long for big dick boyfriend lee seokmin. the thing i like most about smut written for dk is that he's ALWAYS so fun and endearing and lovable in bed, and what's more is that this one's a friend to lovers fic, so there's YEARS worth of pining and puppy love to spice up the sex hehehehehehe it really really deserves more recognition !!

right where you left me by @tonicandjins × tags: wonwoo x reader; exes getting back together, ANGST

i have a shitty memory so i can't go into the specifics on what this fic is about. it's one of the first ones i read on tumblr, but it's been a hot minute but i DO remember writhing in bed right after reading it, so it definitely earns a spot on the rec list! reader and wonwoo lived together in their hometown, but had to break up when wonwoo moves to seoul and he just couldn't make any compromises. bonus points for best friend hoshi on this one &lt;;3

that's pretty much it for now! i'm so sorry if any of the authors mentioned didn't want to be tagged 🤒🤒 i just thought i'd share my thoughts abt ur work while sharing them w the rest of my followers UEUEUEUE

[thenamesblurrito]

Buzzard and Blurr are so cute :) really endearing ans sorta sweet, hope things work out well with em

Im really curious about the twos relationship. Do you have any thoughts you could share behind their dynamic and how they end up getting together? Or headcanons?

Keep up the good work! :D

THANK YOU ANON YOU MADE MY DAY!!!

i will be honest i would also like to know how they get together bc they are uhhhhhh both bad at this whole romantic thing! like i talk about here, they're both bumbling, inexperienced, and having a rude awakening to the concept of demisexuality, so as far as i can tell there is no end in sight to the mutual pining idiots. there's some possibilities but nothing concrete yet

they're a fun ship but first and foremost they are a funNY ship and the funny bits to me are in the pre-get together stage so that's what i think of the most. so! have some tidbits! this is a long post oops but i am NOT putting it under a cut i am making everyone LOOK AT SELF INDULGENCE RAAAGHH I AM KILLING CRINGE!!!

Blurr met Buzzard after being painstakingly transferred to a new, kitbashed frame and having a weird tall stranger show him the trash cube that used to be him with far too much enthusiasm. Buzzard was the one to fish that cube out of the trash as they went spelunking in Cybertron's waste disposal system as Team Purple were on planet to pull off a pet heist (and got more than they bargained for). once everyone realized the cube was a person and was ALIVE, they were also the one to uhhhhhh procure most of the pieces of his new frame, constructed by Knock-out in a back alley deal on Velocitron. Blurr is uncomfortable with how piecemeal and janky this frame is, despite being a close reconstruction of his original, and it takes him a long time to truly realize that Buzzard donated, bought, or outright stole 90% of the parts needed to bring him, a stranger, back to life. it's an odd feeling, to suddenly reckon with the concept that maybe there's more to this junker than picking pockets and being silly

it takes awhile for either of them to really pay attention to the other? like, Blurr has essentially pulled a Jesus, and also maybe unwillingly defected from the Autobots, and is currently "trapped" with a team full of criminals and Decepticons, one of whom was a spy that he spent so long tracking down and got thiiiiiiiis close to discovering her true identity before Longarm sent him off to Earth, so he's understandably got a grudge the size of a planet against Rosanna who is happy to taunt him about it, NOT TO MENTION the awkward, vulnerable, and painful physical therapy of getting used to this new frame and trying to regain his speed and just... being alive again?? sure, Buzzard is tall and weird, but they are the least of his worries in his early days with Team Purple

to be fair, like. for months the only real impression Blurr has of Buzzard is just:

infinite storage booba

that and "tall flightframe with purple parts but NOT a Decepticon???? not even an enemy????" it's something he's still coming to terms with. Gremlin consistently seeking him out to nap on is not helping

it may be easy to assume that Buzzard, having been brought to life by an Allspark shard on Earth, is young and ignorant and stupid and may not even know what love is etc etc. however, they were mentored by the whirlwind romance duo Rum-maj and Wreck-gar, both very invested and also very forthcoming about their own relationship. Buzzard is pretty knowledgeable about what love/romance/sexuality can look like, just from observing them and others around them! no, the mutual pining idiocy isn't from ignorance, it's just twitterpated stupidity 👍

this goes against popular fanon interpretation of Blurr i think, but i like to characterize him as the kind of hypercompetent-but-lame guy who's married to his work, doesn't bother with social skills beyond bare minimum, and isn't so much arrogant/full of himself as he is just impatient and dismissive. he's like a working breed dog. you might think he's hot but he would rather skip an offer of a one night stand in favor of following up on a potential lead or staking out a target's home all night. so Blurr's experience and general overall INTEREST in romance is nil

the fact i have slapped asexuality onto both of them just means they're both extra unprepared to Experience Feelings

it's slow! Buzzard thinks this guy is funny, and kind of sad, and though they never say this they think he could use a friend who won't get impatient with his own frustration. he knows a lot of stuff about Cybertron and Autobots and such that they've never heard before and he can be prompted to give entire lectures about anything, which they soak up, they love learning. Blurr is only mostly irritated by Buzzard being affable, and curious, and dropping odd knickknacks and riffraff into his hands whenever they feel like it. they don't roll their optics or look lost when he gets talking like many people do, and usually even manage to keep up with what he's saying. it's toleration at least!

he doesn't realize it, but it's really the least stressful/antagonistic connection he has with Team Purple so far. Rosanna was a target he was cheated out of uncovering and holds it over his head, Dreadringer is the mysterious captain of this dangerous gang who seems to want to toss everyone out the airlock, Wheelie was an old friend but seeing him so comfortable around these strangers is almost more offputting, Red Alert may be an Autobot but she's also the doctor seeing to his recovery which is hardly pleasant, the multiple Decepticons aboard keep him on edge even if they're nice to him like Voidwander, there's so many utterly absurdly strange people like Necro, or Wreck-gar, or Inferno, or Sky Lynx, or even Beachcomber, etc....

in comparison, Buzzard ends up filling almost a Kronk role to his Yzma as Blurr eventually feels comfortable ranting to them, or relaxing around them, or even skedaddling behind them for protection whenever Shenanigans occur. they're nice to him. it's weird. but it's still one of the biggest reasons why Blurr starts to acclimate to Team Purple, and even start considering himself one of them. without their positive influence, he wouldn't have dealt well with famous Team Purple tidbits like Tito Moto's funeral, Bludgeon deciding to start an official pirate rivalry, Dreadringer's delusions of interning with a god, Crescent's livestreaming career, or The Oil Slick Incident

Buzzard just thinks Blurr is fascinating to be around, in a much nicer way than when he was paranoid and scared of the rest of the team. now he's fitting in! in some corner of their mind, they think of him as another part of the hoard they call a family :3

maybe letting two obsession-prone people who only make friends with other weirdos spend a lot of time around one another was always going to end in a weird tangle of emotions, huh?

now this is of course Buzzard's Iconic Demi Moment, but Blurr has one too:

i firmly believe it's a hallmark- no, a REQUIREMENT that to be an Autobot in TFA you must be repressed. these guys are all touch-starved and alienated from their own wants and needs in favor of serving The Regime. so good luck Blurr you're gonna need it

Buzzard meanwhile is literally scared they're gonna pluck out Blurr's spleen. they keep wanting to be around him, and watch him, and touch him, all of which is normal sure but this is a lot so clearly their subconscious has marked him as a trinket to steal

attempts to explain otherwise generally do not go well

so they just. fail at communicating. they fail at communicating so bad the entire ship knows. even Rosanna gives Blurr tips on flirting. even Gremlin, Buzzard's dearest friend in the world, is giving them the stink-eye for idiocy. they are both still friends, they gravitate towards one another and get invested in what the other enjoys and work well together and just keep growing closer as time goes on, but the awkward, helpless stupidity of Oh My God Feelings turns it into a comedy show for the rest of Team Purple

maybe if Blurr could stop flipping out about the right thing to say and do and be and and and-- then he would relax enough, be confident enough to do something so bold as hold Buzzard's hand. maybe if Buzzard could stop worrying that their preoccupation with him is scary, or unwelcome, or unnatural, or going to upset his place in the team or as their friend, then they would stop feeling dread and start experiencing the joy and giddiness of romance, how it can be a treat for both of them

it's a lot of shenanigans. chicanery. silly falling over one another to just do something nice for the other but not quite knowing how. but they're both earnest. they enjoy one another. they keep coming back to one another

they'll get there eventually. i'll noodle something that fits

fingers crossed

i mean they have to get there eventually or this image won't be canon and i spent a lot of effort figuring out overlapping posing and kibble angles >:(

anyways. i'll leave u with this silly little ship meme (can u believe this image was gonna be my only response til i decided to defy cringe and infodump)