#most of my crushes are mean doms but they do all have their degrees of patheticness

[madam-o]

Buggy the Clown has done more to get me into bi switch guys who love makeup than all my other obsessions combined. Which is super weird because that list includes Loki and Dan Stevens' Prince from the live action Beauty and the Beast.

[prettyboykatsuki]

okay fr what do you think scara is like in bed? what’s he into, what’re his kinks, the whole shebang?

modern scaramouche hc's

✭ tags ; sub!chara, dom!reader (they bottom but parts are unspecificed so gn!reader as well), this is also my modern!scaramouche take so just be aware, bratting, rough sex, slapping, hitting, a lil degradation, reader is v careful abt scaramouches boundaries tho, romantic implications reader is stronger than scara + he is short king, etc

✭ wc ; 2.1k (im soooo ashamed. anon im so sorry)

✭ a/n ; this got so out of hand so quickly. this is my personal scaramouche this has nothing to do with anyone but me and my delusions sorry in advance.

like really. cant describe how subjective this is but i also refuse to change my mind or see him any other way. thank u so much for inquiring

my modern scaramouche is usually aged like. 20-something in college. he goes to a nice university (a very competitive school mind you.) he was really concerned about excelling for like most of his hs career. kind of a loner except tartaglia who adopted him into his friend group.

he panics about his degree for the longest time cause he doesn't know what to do - but settles on civil architecture and minors in fine art.

he has his ears pierced and some other piercings too that he was peer pressured into, but overall likes how they look. he's not usually very dressed up and all of his closet is so oversized because comfort > fashion BUT he never looks like a slob either.

has like 3 other friends on campus (kazuha + mona + childe who somehow followed him there)

complicated relationship with his mom + stepmom (he doesn't hate her but they do not communicate so tons of misunderstandings between them. like sooo many)

and. usually not actively looking to date anyone ever. he had like one crush one time in highschool but chickened out so miserably and SEETHED about it the whole time.

after that he swore to never, ever, ever go back to that dark place and sort of just focused on his career and school. his major is pretty difficult so it takes a lot of his time

plus he's a little pretentious, stuck up little shit so only a few people can handle him in the first place.

anyways. u meet through tartaglia who thinks you two will get along really well (and he's trying to set you both up bc he thinks you two could work well together)

its honestly like oil and water. you're personality just rubs him the wrong way. sure childe is annoying, but he's stupid

you're...not stupid. you're kind of clever and you treat him with like. a sense of disrespect he hates. scaramouche is used to people who let him have the upperhand

but you're always pretty quick to shoot him down. you never let him him get away with anything and you guys have this like... insane back and forth for months

its the slowest of burns. he swears he hates you.

(he doesn't though. he thinks its really fucking attractive that you talk back to him and don't let him intimidate you ever. but he loathes that feeling. he also loathes how nice your laugh is and how easy it is to talk to you)

scaramouche spends. AGES. ages in denial. closes his eyes to it. its like 6 months deep into it - he starts having wet dreams and he wakes up HORRIFIED with himself.

WORSE? scaramouche knows about your sex life. not through you but through observation and gossip. he's not fucking you in the dreams. you're fucking him.

humiliated, he simply tries to ignore it. but it's making him so much moody than usual and because you two spend so much time together - you notice almost right away. of course you do.

"whats got your panties in a twist lately? not that you're usually sunshine and rainbows but you're acting like a little kid"

scaramouche says something mean. like, really mean in response. he's just so frustrated. its a personal jab, farther than he'd usually go.

he's expecting to sabotage himself you know? he does that sometimes. pushes people away when they get too close. it's a miracle he has any friends. he's expecting you to get annoyed and leave.

but there's this like. chill to your voice. and you're looking straight at him.

"you don't talk to me like that, understand? i don't care how shitty your mood is."

one hit k.o. he can't even breathe. what's wrong with him and what is happening to him, and holy shit why do you sound like that.

"sorry," he apologizes (him. he's apologizing first) "just. frustrating,"

and you immediately slink back to your usual self. and he's relieved and a little excited and just overall restless because he can't stop thinking about what just happened.

"it's fine. i like being on your ass or whatever but it's bothering me that you're so moody. maybe you really do need to get laid,"

the joke is one you often to make. it's meant to lighten the mood. but scaramouche is feeling pent-up and horny and that's kind of exactly what he needs

"s-shut up. it's not like you're going to do it,"

internally he's hoping you take the bait. he is equal parts horrified and excited watching you take in the information. you give him a lazy smile as you sit up and look at him.

"huh. do you...want me to do it?"

oh dear god. oh fuck.

"so what if i did?"

and then you laugh, which he can't decipher. he's gearing himself to be made fun of. he watches you with big wide yes as you come sit on the desk near him. feels your fingers trail his jaw and tilt his head up and holy shit he might really die.

he can barely look up at you.

"is that why you've been acting weird for last couple of weeks?" your voice is so smug and scaramouche is so turned on it's stupid. he hates it. hates himself. hates everything

"shut up,"

and then, you grab his chin. really make him look at you and it's startling but he doesn't pull away. you look gleeful.

"that why you've been running with your tail between your legs when you see me?" you hum, your eyes almost predatory "cause you want me to fuck you?"

its times like this scaramouche he could be honest. because that's exactly what he wants, but he hates having to say it.

"as if you could satisfy me," he says, instead. your eyes widen, and it takes you a minute to register it all in your head.

"you're such a fucking brat," you say, light. affectionate, really. it makes his heart pump "you think i can't?"

"i'd like to see you try," he says, absolutely and utterly in disbelief internally. you grin.

"can i kiss you?"

"why're you asking?"

"cause im an asshole, not a villain,"

you and scaramouche makeout in a study room before he decides to to get ahold of himself and invites you into his dorm. he's never been so thankful in his life that his roomate is gone.

when you get scaramouche into bed - it really dawns on him how out of his element he is. he's not a virgin - a few awkward and usually bad hook-ups in his repertoire.

but you're not like them. he's bitey and on edge but you handle him. ask for permission for little things, clarifications for what he's okay with. you're thoughtful, despite how much he's lashing out.

and it's turning scaramouche so much he doesn't know how to handle it other than doing it again. he wants to provoke you so much. he wants to put him in his place over and over.

it's mid makeout he pulls away, frustration all-welled up inside him that he asks. he's hard and needy and needs something to get him off.

"i knew you were all talk," he sneers, putting as much of himself in it as he can "this is nothing,"

you look at him very seriously "you're really asking for it, huh," you say with a sigh "do you know what you're getting into?"

"nothing serious obviously,"

"usually when i deal with brats like you, i treat 'em real rough. im being nice to you cause you're so pent up, but it's like you don't want that," you grab his face again, getting close and personal this time and scaramouche feels like he'll collapse "want me to treat you mean and put you in your place? hit you and make you cry?"

oh it ruins his life. that's exactly what he wants. what he needs from you so much it aches. so much he chokes.

"wh-what the hell are-"

but you make him face forward, look you in your eyes.

"your first lesson is answer me when i talk to you. is that what you want? you can nod if you can't say it,"

so he nods and you laugh.

"yeah? should smack the brat outta you shouldn't i?

you're asking for permission. despite his everything, there's something affectionate about it. he feels his stomach twist with desire.

"just fucking do it already,"

"tell me if you need to stop,"

"i said—"

it's unceremonious, really. when scaramouche feels the palm of your hands on his cheek, landing heavy and hard as you push him back against the bed. you hit him.

he liked it. makes his cock throb in his fucking jeans, feeling the sting.

"your second lesson is don't fucking mouth at me," you practically spit. there's some roughness in your actions that make scaramouche keen as you crawl on top of him "can't even deal with your moods without lashing out."

scaramouche feels his stomach churn as your hands make rough work of him. you pin his wrists over his head, tell him to keep it there.

and of course he refuses, disobeys - gets to feel how strong you actually are when you spit the words back in his face again to hold fucking still.

scaramouche keeps doing it. keeps pushing until you have to put him back where he belongs forcibly. he doesn't know that he's doing it

but he wants something he can't name, a desire that aches so deep in his chest. he wants you to take responsibility for him - like a promise of some kind.

he likes the way your mouth feels on his skin. your teeth feel so good sinking into pale flesh. the scratch of your nails and sting of your palms as you spank and hit and push his body.

you manhandle him so fucking easily, putting him in every position you can think of. on his knees, or his back - naked and waiting.

you tease scaramouche till he's honest, your voice coarse until he starts giving in.

you're so good with your hands. your fingers, your mouth. you know just the right things to get him all squirmy - praising him when he's getting desperate towards the end.

his sense of shame nowhere to be found as he gets close to the edge. as you tip him over it, he can feel all the tension bleed out of him. goes from bitching, to whiny - needy and not above begging.

he doesn't even understand it. can't wrap his head around it all the way - lets you guide him through the feeling as he starts feeling pliant.

you let him fuck you with mercy. don't make him work for it, just sit on his cock and tell him that he looks so much better when he's all messed up for you and he just. melts completely. like feels like he's gonna fall through the floor.

he cries when he cums. sobs a little as he finally gets relief then melts into your bed like a pile of wet sand as you finish yourself off and overstimulate him a little in the process.

after all is said and done - he falls asleep basically immediately after the high.

when he wakes up the next day - you haven't left. he's like kind of nuzzled up in your arms (which. is wild bc he has always hated physical touch but? apparently not with you)

when you stir awake, you're immediately whistling. you even press a kiss to his forehead and brush his hair out of his face.

"you awake? feel okay?" you hum, so stupidly tender and scaramouche has to fight every urge to push you away.

"im...fine. you're still here," he says unhelpfully. you chuckle.

"yeah. figured you would start spiraling if i left in the middle of the night"

he is horrified at the accuracy.

"it's weird when you're being all...nice to me,"

"its a lot easier since i realize you just wanted to be put in your place," you say with a knowing him. scaramouche elbows you "it's cute, it's cute. don't kill me,"

"you're annoying,"

"yeah, i know. i wiped you down a bit but we should shower and i gotta make sure you're not too hurt anywhere,"

"i'm not a flower,"

"i was bein' pretty rough and its my job to take care of you,"

"why would that be your job?"

"cause im a responsible sexual partner and we're seeing each other, i figure?"

he flushes at the implication. he doesn't want to think about it as he cuddles himself into your side. ugh. whatever.

"who said that?"

"do you want me to see other people?"

"i'll kill you,"

"that's what i thought,"

scaramouche hates it but does not have the confidence to protest you.

scaramouche realizes with the weight of the world on his shoulders that he is the most submissive brat in the fucking world

he decides not to think about it for a while

[foggyparadisecandy]

GOOD GIRL TRANCE

[This trance will use terminology around being a "girl". If you are not comfortable with being called that, this trance is not for you. I really don't mean "girl" as an insult to anyone. I love all of you for who you are and don't mean to offend. I'm a (mostly) hetero male and I find being called a "girl" a bit thrilling. I understand it's not for everyone though.]

Anyone who reads my stuff knows I have a fetish for several things ... mental collars, real collars, Cherry Crush, fem doms, chastity, praise, helping people believe in themselves, and ... the GOOD GIRL trigger.

I've put GOOD GIRL in so many people and in so many ways and I never get bored with it.

I. Fucking. Love. It.

And this here isn't really a trance but more of an explanation of why I am so into it.

Ok, yeah, it actually is meant to be a bit trance-y and make you feel like a GOOD GIRL. But really ... like with all trances ... that's up to you and whether or not you want to feel it.

It's kind of slow moving to start and I'm too lazy to tighten it up. But I think it does a great job of explaining my love of GOOD GIRL and why I think it's so effective.

The reason I'm writing this is because someone told me today that GOOD GIRL is over-played and over-used. I scoff at that idea. It's ridiculous.

GOOD GIRL cannot be said enough. You are all good girls and should feel like good girls feel. And yeah ... I'm even talking to you super-hetero guys and, yes, to all my handsome ftm's out there who think being called a girl is an insult.

It is most certainly not. Not from me.

So pardon my ramble here but ...

There is a LOT to like about the GOOD GIRL trigger.

The desire to be called good is already embedded deeply inside most of us. Inside me, inside you. So it's easy to take that desire and simply ... augment it ... just a bit.

Just a tiny adjustment to that desire already deep down inside you.

And that's what you're going to do here. Now.

You're going to tweak those desires. And it's so simple to do.

You already have all the necessary pieces deep inside you. And my words, as you focus on them and follow them, are going to simply highlight and, yes, augment, those pieces, those desires. Those desires deep down inside you.

When you think about it, if you think at all, about it, it's very natural to want praise, isn't it?

You want praise, right? And to be told that you've done good? That you are good?

It's basic to your nature and embedded deep down in your core. Deep inside, where you can't explain it, can't understand it, deep down in your subconscious, where desires grow and live.

And it's ok that you don't understand it.

It's ok that you can't explain it.

You don't need to think about it. You don't need to think about anything at all right now.

All you need to do is accept it.

Accept it and embrace it.

You need praise. You want praise.

And that's natural.

So if you were called good, or specifically a good girl, even if you are not actually a girl, you get that praise that you need and you want to hear.

And whether you respond quietly and demurely, with a silent feeling of pride that "yes, ok, I *am* good" and "yes, ok, I *am* a good girl" and "yes, I have earned this praise" ... or ...

You feel a kind of ... slight sexual thrill ... an arousal ... an excitement of sorts ... even if it's only in passing ...

Well now ... it's just a matter of degrees, isn't it?

The phrase and the response already live inside you.

It's ALREADY acting as a trigger of sorts and it brings out this natural response.

So it's really a simple matter to adjust ... to augment ... that thing that already exists. We're not making you feel a certain way. We're adjusting the way you already feel when you hear those words.

That praise confirming you are a good girl.

The simple act of someone calling you a good girl ... that act ... those words ... they give you a bump ... a rush ... a positive feeling ... a small thrill ... knowing that you've done something that pleases someone.

You've been found worthy. You *are* worthy.

You are a good girl.

Naturally, you take pride in this. That's normal. That's human nature.

When someone gives that praise, that acknowledgment, you might feel a tiny bust that elevates you. Raises your spirits. Lifts you up.

After all, you've been given that praise. You've been found worthy. You are now more than you were.

You rise to new heights feeling this uplift.

And, of course, by extension, for you to rise up, to be lifted up, well, naturally that means that you are, and must be, beneath the person who lifted you up. The person lifting you up with the praise is above you, lifting you.

The rush of the uplift is because it comes from someone above you. So, naturally, you must be below them, less than them, beneath them, for them to lift you up.

And that's the beauty of the phrase, good girl.

In fact, every time you hear that phrase, you find in a real way, you begin to sink lower and deeper than you were before. After all ... when you accept this praise ... and allow it to lift you up ... you admit that you are lower than, less than, the person giving the praise. You accept that deep down the moment you allow the praise to lift you.

And when you accept this praise and rise up, you give the other person a position above you, with you below them. You give them power. And you sink lower and deeper each time you allow the praise to have such an affect.

Each time you accept this phrase, good girl, you silently and implicitly admit to their power over you and you give them more power.

And as you do this, as you take their praise, feel their praise affect you, you sink lower and lower and acknowledge your role. Your place below them. This amplifies ... augments ... your desire to be called a good girl and the feelings of being called a good girl.

The more you are called a good girl, the better you feel. The more aroused you feel as you know that it implicitly makes you more submissive to let someone have such an impact on you. And this arousal grows each and every time you are called a good girl and are reminded of your role and your place beneath them.

Yes, you feel pride, and yes, you feel excitement, and yes, you feel a kind of ... sexual charge that comes with this growing sense of submission.

And you might find, and yes, you should find, that as you let the words, good girl, wash over you more and more, as you begin to feel them sink in more and more, as you accept the implications more and more, you feel your desire growing.

You feel the rush and excitement growing. You feel your submission growing. And you feel the hunger to be called a good girl growing more and more. You want to accept the praise. And you feel good when you accept the praise. And your mind accepts that it helps you sink the more you accept it.

So, you find that as you sink further, and submit more, and give in to that hunger, the desire grows deeper and stronger, and you feel a longing grow to be called a good girl. And this excites you as you understand that it means you choose, at some level, to accept your submission and you wish to sink deeper and lower and give over power to the person who calls you good girl.

And the more you sink, the deeper you go, the deeper you go, the more you want to be called good girl, the more you are called good girl, the deeper you sink, and the deeper you go, and the more you want to give in to the pleasure, the arousal, of submission, and being called a good girl.

And that's ok because you are such a good girl.

As a good girl, you long to be called a good girl and feel yourself sink further, and sink deeper into submission and arousal, and feel the pleasure of submission, and of being called a good girl.

It's only natural, and your desire is deep, and your arousal is strong, and you grow desperate to submit and to hear those words that give you pleasure and make you feel like a good girl.

The deeper you go, the more you submit, the more aroused you become, the more you want to submit, the deeper you want to go, and the faster you want to give in and to fall into the pleasure and arousal of being called a good girl.

The more you hear it, the further you fall, the deeper you go, the more your arousals builds, grows and grows, bubbles over, and makes you feel so good and so horny and so desperate to be called a good girl.

The deeper you submit, the stronger the words become, the weaker you feel, the more your longing grows, the stronger your desire, the more your sexual arousal grows and intensifies, as you wait and hunger to hear the words good girl.

Such a good girl.

This is natural and right and feels so good that all you can do and all you want to do is submit further, drop deeper, give in more, feel arousal fill you, feel your passion grow, and give in to the desire to be called a good girl.

As this continues, you sink deeper and deeper into arousal, you grow weaker and weaker as submission overtakes you, you fall deeper and deeper down into arousal, and deeper and deeper into submission, and deeper and deeper into a desperate longing to hear the words good girl.

You feel it fill you, you hunger to give in, you fall into arousal, fall into longing, fall into desperate horniness, feel so hot and turned on, so weak and submissive, let your passion inflame you, feel arousal overwhelm you, so hungry and thirsty for someone to call you good girl.

And in this state, you find yourself so weak, so horny, so aroused, so desperate, so wet, so excited, so submissive, so hungry, feel yourself throb and ache and pulse and twitch with a deep desire to be called a good girl over and over and over.

So you give in, become so horny and hot, so aroused and desperate, so weak and submissive, so throbbing and aching, so wet and hungry, so submissive and horny, so hot and aching, so weak and desperate, needy and desperate, horny and desperate, submissive and desperate, to be called a good girl.

You're such a GOOD GIRL.

BTW. I do other variations of this trigger if you want to feel more like a GOOD GIRL.

I would like that for you and hope you feel like a GOOD GIRL today and every day.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE TRANCES GOOD GIRL

CLICK HERE FOR MY CLEAR TRANCE TO REMOVE ANY UNWANTED EFFECTS

[yohangaontdj]

WIP Tag

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.  Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips.

@clawbehavior , thanks for tagging me! Took a while cause I'm basically a one-track mind. I work on one fic at a time and can't multi-task cause will lose the feel for the story. So when this tag came along, I had to go through my files to remember what I've done but not finished.

So first off WIPs for The Devil Judge

A Dare and a Twist of Fate.

Been working on this the whole of 2023 and everytime I thought I'm near to finishing, the story kept growing.

It started out purely as wanting to write a smut piece with dom and sub hints and always with Yohan having supernatural powers to do smutty stuff to Gaon. And inspired by this photo that I doctored. Took them from two separate photos and merged them into one.

Here are the originals that I took from.

I was nearing to finishing this fic when I got distracted by others that I want to write And when I came back to it in Nov 2023, I ended up re-writing a major portion, hence the delay.

First Anniversary

I wrote this 2 years ago. And its more my take on why Yohan hadn't taken Gaon with him when he left for Switzerland. And with some conspiracy thrown in cause there would be those who refused to believe Yohan had died in the bombing - the government as well as those who seek revenge upon him, especially the children of those Yohan had killed in the bombing.

The title first anniversary, it was because the story started out on the first anniversary of Soohyun's death. And I used lots of flower meaning and language in the fic cause that was the only way Yohan could communicate with Gaon who was under the scrutiny of the police as well as anyone who wanted to find Yohan through Gaon.

Here's an excerpt.

Underneath the fluorescent lights, the three stalk of flowers looked even prettier with their blue petals and pale yellow centres. But there was no note, no card, no messages of any sort, sending doubt worming through Gaon's heart.

And it was only when the paper wrapping had been removed did Gaon see the tiny word written on each plastic tubes - the ones which the stalk had been individually inserted into so that the water inside could hydrate it.

Anemone, windflowers.

Their symbolism, it had Gaon's heart lurching cause Anemone meant protection from evil and from misfortunes. And the blue ones had the added meaning of complete trust in the receiver of the flowers.

Gaon, to think that he hadn't been forsaken despite what he had done to Yohan as well as Elijah. It had tears spilling, Gaon aching to have Yohan here right now so that he could crush him in his embrace.

The two would be reunited in the end and was 90% written before I got distracted again.

Red and Black.

Another incomplete fic I hadn't touch for more than a year. It's loosely based on Red Riding Hood. And inspired by these two pics.

I sort of got embarrassed with the latest chapter I've written and also the sudden loss of comments which had me doubting whether I've written the story right. So I didn't continue and although I still have an idea how it will end, I've lost some of the details as I hadn't touched it for so long.

Gahan AU - Dating Show

This fic is also an old one, and its based on the idea that Gaon, despite his degree in law, he had decided to give up being a judge so that he can become a 'train chaser'. Those fans of railway trains who will travel around to take photos of them.

And he worked part-time at a cafe with Jinjoo as his boss. And one day, the TV station had made a huge delivery order from the cafe. Hence, Gaon having to deliver them and being unwittingly dragged into becoming a participant for a new dating show. Cause one of the male participants hadn't shown up, and they were short of one.

Here's an excerpt.

Gaon had never in his life had three women fighting to undress him. Face growing darker by the minute as he fought to keep his demin jacket on. And head jerking away from the pony-tailed woman who kept pushing his fringe up, tsking at how it was hiding the beauty of his face.

And just when Gaon thought he had to punch one of them in order to get away. Someone else had waded in, joining in the fray.

A man, much much older than him, sliding his palms down his chest and goosebumps prickling Gaon's skin. Then gripping his shoulders and smiling a smile that had Gaon shrinking from the threat that was simmering within.

"You either come along with me or get very naked right now."

That older man was of course Yohan, producer of the new dating show. And who had Gaon re-made - from a nerd to quite an attractive catch. But Gaon wasn't someone who would obey meekly. Plotting to ruin his chances of staying on the show by acting all crude and rough and callous.

This one has no title cause it lives rent-free in my head.

Inspired by an old K-drama called, Are You Human? And in the drama there was a very human-like robot that had been built, and the female lead falling in love with it.

So I have this image of Yohan being an AI butler, as real as any humans out there. And in a dystobian Korean society, every judge is assigned an AI butler to attend to their needs and see to their mental and physical well-being.

It is purely smut and explicit with Gaon coming home one night pissed and stressed out with the shit he had to deal in court. And Yohan AI butler trying to relieve his stress, using sex as a means to do so based on what Google had told him was the best way to do so.

So these are the WIPs I haven't finish. ☺️

[multifariousqueer]

I’ll do anything, Professor

a/n: Hiiiii! I’ve been meaning to post and make this for a while now so here it is! This is possibly my filthiest work lol. I hope you enjoy! <3

warnings: SMUTTTT, age gap (19 and 24), teacher!Peter x student!reader, oral(f and m receiving), yandere behavior(both parties), spanking, no protection(wrap it before you tap it), Dom!Peter x Sub!Reader, angst, toxic relationships, cursing, daddy kink, overstimulation

summary: You’re failing physics and your professor doesn’t want that to happen ;)

No matter how hard you tried, you just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter who explained it, you just couldn’t grasp physics. It was hard for no reason and completely pointless for what you wanted to become in life. All you wanted was to be a computer scientist and you couldn’t fathom how Physics fit into that. But if you wanted your degree, you had to do the class. Luckily for you and every girl and some guys, the professor was hot. He also explained everything in super great detail. You had had a crush on him since the beginning of the year and every now and again, you caught him staring at you. You always wore tight and revealing clothes the days you had physics and it never payed off(or so you thought).

It was like clockwork. You woke up at 9:00am, got a shower, put on a short skirt that was a bit short for comfort, and a crop top that accentuated your tits. You said bye to your roommate and headed out to Dunkin before heading to class. You always made sure to get there early so you can talk with Professor Parker. He enjoyed your little discussions about your other classes, the little bit you did understand about physics and your collective love for the Star Wars franchise. You started watching it for him but it quickly became your favorite series. He enjoyed talking to you and hearing what you had to say about some of the most basic stuff. 

You walked in and struck up a conversation with the man:

“Hiiii Mr Parker.” you said, a bit flirtier than you'll admit.

“Hi Ms. L/n.” Peter said plainly.

You struck up a conversation over the new baristas at Dunkin messing up your refresher and before you knew it, it was 10:15am and class was about to start. You happily took your seat but not before Peter caught a glimpse of your outfit and your panties underneath. He felt himself grow hard but he ignored it. 

Class had begun and you were still confused. You had managed to grip the key concepts but everything else was going over your head. You just sat and stared at your professor until you heard him call your name:

“Ms. L/n, do you know one of the four fundamental forces?”

“Uhmm, gravity?” you replied.

“Correct. The gravitational force is the fourth and final fundamental force. Good Job, Ms. L/n.” He said. If you weren’t mistaken, you heard a hint of pride in his voice.

You had smiled and went back to looking at your laptop with your notes on it. 

Before long, class was almost over and Mr. Parker was giving his closing statements:

“Okay class don't forget your homework on Newton’s first law and please do your project, it’s due at 11:59 at night. And as always-” He started

“Stay Curious.” The class and you finished.

He smiled and said:

“Very good.”

Everyone got up to leave before he went up to you and asked to speak with you. You happily obliged and he showed you your grades.

“Ms. L/n, you’ve barely gotten above a C. Is everything alright?” He asked, voice dripping with concern. He pulled up a chair and you sat in it with your legs crossed.

“Yeah it’s just I’m having a hard time understanding and focusing.” You said shamefully.

“What’s drawing away your focus? And what do you need help understanding?” He asked.

“Just some stuff happening at home. I’ll find a tutor don't worry.” You said

“I don’t mean to pry but if you need to talk I’m here and I’m also a part time tutor.” He said.

“Since when?” You asked in a flirtatious way. You had never heard him talk about tutoring anybody before.

“Since my favorite student told me she needs help.” He replied. You felt both honored and a bit turned on at his response.

You chuckled but before you could say anything he said: “Meet me here at 10:30 tomorrow.” You knew he only had classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays so it would just be you two.

“Yes, sir.” You said with a smirk. 

Peter felt his pants tighten a bit and his cheeks heat up. He felt guilty because he wanted to help you but at the same time, he wanted to fuck the shit out of you. The age gap felt weird to him but lets face it, his best friend is dating a 18 year old so it is what it is. He knew he couldn’t take much more of your teasing so he hatched a plan.

The next day

The day started as any other did except, you were ecstatic to be alone with your favorite teacher-turned-tutor. You put on perfume, curled your hair and even put on a bit of makeup. Your outfit was the perfect mix of slutty yet subtle. Your skirt was short and your top showed so much of your cleavage it was basically a bra. You sported knee high socks with forces to match. You grabbed your stuff and headed to his class.

The second you got there his eyes traveled to your face then your tits. He felt his dick grow harder and harder with each step you took. You smiled and said:

“Ready to learn professor.” 

“Sit” He smirked.

Things were going well until he put his hand on your thigh. You smiled knowing that your outfit was working. You would be in his bed in no time. You exposed your neck by flipping your hair and sending the subtle scent of your perfume his way. It was driving him crazy. You felt your arousal grow in your panties and your nipples grow hard. He could smell your pheromones and he could only imagine how good you would feel around him. 

It was a game of truce. He would raise his hand higher as you would tease him. You knew you two wouldn’t last long so while he was talking you decided to be bold.

You were giving your two cents and leaning closer and closer to him. He was leaning as you were leaning; his brain going berserk over you sharing the same desires as him and before you knew it, your lips had met. He grabbed your chin and migrated to grabbing your jaw in his hand. Your delicate hands holding his face. He pulled you up with him and placed you on his desk.

“Are you sure about this Professor?” you breathed

“Yes. Are you?” he breathed

“Yea.” you moaned

The conversation was quick. He began rubbing your clothed cunt while simultaneously, grabbing your tits and kissing you. You let out a whimper which prompted him to kiss down your body and pull down your panties. You gripped the table for dear life as he began to lick a stripe up your cunt. You let out a moan and gripped his hair. He slid a finger into your dripping wet hole and said:

“I’ve been dreaming of this pussy for months.” Before kissing and sucking your clit.

“I’ve been dreaming of you daddy. Fucking me so good and cumming in me.” You moaned.

“mmmmm so kinky.” he smirked before slipping a second finger into you. 

You felt close to your edge. The pleasure causing your cunt to tighten around him:

“Don’t cum yet princess.” He said

“Please sir! I’ll do anything to cum.” you said desperately,

That the straw that broke the camel’s back. He knew he had you wrapped around his not-so-little finger then. He had you exactly where he wanted you.

“Anything?” He asked with a twisted smirk on his face.

“Anything.” you whined.

“Get on your knees.” He instructed.

You did as you were told and watched as he pulled down his pants and revealed his cock:

“Mmmmm you're so fucking big.” you said dreamily.

“Watch your mouth princess.” He said in a dangerous tone.

“Yes sir.” You said.

You flicked your tongue over the tip of his cock and ran a finger up his length. He let out the hottest whimper you had ever heard. You took what you could fit in your mouth and throat, and wrapped your hand around the rest. Your mouth and hand both bobbed up and down taking him as far as you could go. He moaned and pushed your head down as you bobbed. You felt the precum leak out of his tip and removed your hand to take more in. His balls hit your face as he slammed himself in and out of your mouth. To him, you looked absolutely gorgeous taking him like that. Your mouth covered in spit and precum as he thrusted into your face. Pretty soon his movement stilled and he gripped your head at his base; letting you know he came. He removed himself from your throat to reveal your tongue smothered in him. You gave him doe eyes before swallowing his cum. He smiled at you and said:

“Good girl. you earned your reward.”

You had assumed your rewarded would be an A or B on your next test but it was something even better.

He pulled you up and turned you around. He bent you over like you were nothing and smacked your ass. 

“I should've fucked you a long time ago if I knew you’d be so good.” he said.

You moaned at the stinging sensation as he did it again. He kissed where he had marked you and inserted himself inside of you. You moaned at the wonderful new sensation and at how amazing he felt inside of you. He was right: you two should've fucked a long time ago. 

He began slow at first, bending over with you to kiss your shoulder blade and thrusting into you while snaking a hand around to your clit,.

“You're such a good girl for daddy, princess.” he said deeply

“Thank you sir.” you replied

He stood up straight and began to fuck you. His dick felt so amazing and his hand felt just as good. Your eyes rilled back in your head as he pounded into you. The sound of your collective moans and skin slapping together filled the auditorium sized room. You felt his other hand grab your wrists and hold them together as his pace increased. Your moans and whimpered were getting louder as your wave of pleasure came crashing in like a tide. You felt yourself tighten around him which caused his pace to become sloppier and sloppier. You convulsed at the stimulation and came around him. It didn’t take long for him to finish in you as well. Your collective moans slowed as you came down. He pulled you around to him and kissed you sloppily:

“Let’s do this again, yea?” He breathed.

“Of course.” You winked.

You limped out of the room with your stuff in shaking arms. Making sure to sway your ass just a bit. 

When you got back to your dorm, you went to change when you realized your panties were gone. 

When Peter saw you had left your panties, he debated trying to find you and give them back but he decided to leave them in his desk drawer and give them a sniff whenever he missed you.

[sugako]

practicum

supervisor!nanami x intern!reader sum: your internship is cruel and boring, but your primary supervisor and his lingering touches are enough to make you stay for the decadence collab by @sugawara-sweetheart cw: 18+ minors dni, nsfw, smut, power dynamic (boss/intern), slight age gap implied, semi-public sex/office sex, Dom/sub themes, fingering, slight dumbification, cervix kisses, size kink, creampie, reader is in their 20s, inexperienced reader (sorta/idk its up to interp), reader wears a skirt/has a vagina but no gendered language used wc: 2.3k

You knew the moment you stepped into the stiff, grey office building that this wasn’t what you wanted to do, but you had to complete an internship and this had been the easiest place to get into. At first, you hadn’t been sure if it was worth the experience, or the long hours, or the complicated work that really should have been given to someone with twice the experience as you and probably another degree or two.

Truthfully, there wasn’t much keeping you there. You had the opportunity to find a new place within the first week, but you hadn’t. The little steel string that kept you clinging onto this awful, stuffy job was him. Nanami Kento.

Or, as you usually addressed him, Mr. Nanami. He was your primary supervisor after all. The moment you decided to stay was the moment you realized your little crush had gotten out of hand, not that it stopped you. It was impossible with all the sharp angles of his pretty face, the whisper of his baritone voice when he kindly corrected any mistakes in your work and the lingering touches of his fingers across your shoulders as he leaned in to assist you.

Despite his demeanor, you discovered he wasn’t too much older than yourself, at least within ten years of your own age, that had been the tipping point. Your crush quickly got out of hand. Most nights you spent thrashing around in bed imagining your own hands to be his as they left hot trails down your body, but it was never good enough.

For a while, you resigned yourself to lonely nights and soft brushes of skin, but then one day after he caught you in the middle of twisting your ankle up the steps to the office, it was as though a switch flipped.

Nanami had always found you attractive and he appreciated your work ethic, even if he was well aware this wasn’t a place where you would thrive. He knew he spent a little too long explaining certain things to you, letting his body graze yours whenever given the chance, but he felt you enjoyed it. The way your shoulders tensed and you let out a little shuddery gasp that you thought was silent, when your pretty thighs clenched together under whatever cute skirt or pants you had on that day, the light in your eyes that brightened whenever you looked into his eyes - it all made his heart race even if he kept a straight face.

Seeing you so helpless, if even for a short moment, and the delicious whimper you yelped out had broken his resolve. Sure, he was your boss, but not really since you didn’t permanently work here, he reasoned.

“Come to my office so I can check that everything is okay.” He said, taking your elbow into his hand. “It can be easy to fracture the bones in your ankle and foot, and those injuries shouldn't be taken lightly.”

“Uh, okay.” You stuttered back, heat rushing up to the tips of your ears at the subtle contact. It was early, very early, and there were only a handful of people sleepily milling around. Not enough to be a problem, he thought, silently locking the door behind the both of you.

A bit awkwardly, you situated yourself in the middle of the room, bending your knee to slightly lift your foot off the ground. The ache wasn’t terrible, it barely stung, but who were you to argue with a superior?

“Sit on my desk.” He instructed, shucking his suit jacket off and draping it over the back of the plush chair adjacent to the desk.

Nodding quickly, you scampered into place, perching on the edge with your feet dangling above the floor. The straight line of his mouth just barely quirked up as he sat before you. Your mind spun, unable to help but notice how his knees spread wide apart, and the tightness of his pants around his thighs and hips.

Some little part of his brain was telling him to stop, but his body kept moving, fingers rubbing up against your bare ankle. He had to hold back a low groan when he felt you shiver under his touch and your thighs twitch open just the slightest. Glancing up at you only confirmed what he already knew. The way your eyes drooped down, lips parted as you breathed in those cute, shallow breaths, holding yourself up so nicely for him.

Your breath hitched when he looked at you, his hands sliding at a painfully slow rate up from your ankle. They ghosted over your calves, so steady but so cautious, and all the while his eyes stayed anchored to yours.

“How does it look?” You finally breathed when he reached the backside of your knees. Clenching around nothing, but feeling so on the edge of what you longed for, you let your legs fall open just a bit more, knowing he could see your damp panties if he even flickered his eyes down.

When it took him a moment to respond, you worried you had crossed a line, but after a handful of long seconds, the gears in his head stopped turning when his eyes were cast downward. He didn’t make it to your ankle, vision stopping short when he registered how far your cute skirt had been pushed up and the way he could see the perfect outline of your dripping cunt imprinted against the thin fabric of your underwear.

“Very good, but…” Nanami trailed off, kneading your thighs higher and higher.

“But what?” You asked, voice coming out all breathy and needy. The way his touch sent sparks of electricity cascading down your spine was a sin. Hungry with need, the muscles in your thighs and stomach twitched, the cool air of the office breezing against you.

With curious eyes, you watched as he swallowed hard, his gaze flashing back up to you. “You have a different problem now.” Letting out a small sigh, he stands, caging you in with his arms and looming just centimeters away from your face. “I see how you look at me. How you dote on me, ask me for help even when you don’t need it, how your legs shake when I sit a little too close,” his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hip as though to make his point, “and now you’re making a mess on my desk and spreading your legs to show me. Do you really need your boss’ cock that badly?” The way he coos the last question fills your body with heat, but you struggle to look anywhere except directly at him.

“Y-yes, please, want you.” When you stutter out your answer, he squeezes his hips between your legs, the growing bulge in his pants pressing against your thigh.

“You’re very cute, but you act as if you have never been touched properly.” He whispers, letting his head fall against your shoulder, hands pushing your skirt up until it’s bunched up around your hips, completely exposing you.

“They… uh, sorta, but not like,” you shudder out a gasp when his fingers tap against the soaked fabric, grinding your hips into his touch, “...not as good as you.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” He moans, ignoring his own words as he pulls aside the flimsy fabric and spreads your slick around, circling your clit.

“But I-!” Your words get choked off when he eases a long finger into you, curling it against your spongey walls. “Want you to fuck me, please!” You whine, hips bucking into his hand while you chased release.

He presses a chaste kiss against the side of your neck before he gently pushes you down so your back is flush against the desk and he pulls your hips to the edge, holding your knees wide enough for him to fit. Barely lifting your head up, you watch him as he stands before you. With quick-moving hands, he unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants, pulling his cock out and palming it lightly before he leans over you again.

Faintly, you’re aware that you’re in his office, in the office building and if anyone were to walk in there would be a disaster for your work and academic life, but you can’t bring yourself to care. Especially not when Nanami’s heavy cock is resting against your cunt and he’s kissing down the column of your neck.

“Since you’ve never felt a real man, tell me if it’s too much,” he says hoarsely, pulling aside the fabric of your panties again before he lines himself up.

Blankly, you nod at his words, struggling to relax your body as the fat tip pushes past your tight entrance. It’s enough to make you flutter around him, an action he desperately tries to ignore. Your little cunt is gushing, sucking him in and clamping around him so tight he’s worried he might break you. The inside of your lip aches from biting them so harshly, waiting for him to slowly bottom out.

“Happy? You’ve wanted this for so long.” He breathes, looking down at where the two of you are connected and the pretty shine of your wetness under the lamps and early morning sunshine that filters through the window.

“Y-yes.” You answer unsteadily, wrapping your knees around his lower back, needing to feel him more, deeper, harder, anything.

“Usually such a smart person and now all you can say is yes and nod?” He pulls back, nearly slipping out with the way you’re creaming around him, and slams back into you.

“Uh-huh!” Comes your squeaked response, unable to answer properly. Slowly realizing what you said, you attempt to backtrack with a weak, “I mean-” before the words gurgle off into nothing when you feel him hit you deeper than anyone ever has.

The sound of skin slapping and the resounding squelches that fill the space cloud your thoughts up, and all you feel is him. Every movement he made was fast but evenly paced and purposeful and you wondered how he could fit so well against you without ever having known you intimately before. His hands burning against your skin, brushing against your stomach as they hold your hips in place, how he perfectly fills you out, and in the next moment how your chest fills with warmth when his thumb brushes against your aching clit.

“You want to cum?” His voice is far strained than it was when he began, his low breathy moans getting louder by the second.

“Please!” You cry, arms shaking as you held yourself back from grabbing onto him.

All he did was give you a sharp nod, but his fingers were suddenly focused, stroking you so exactly you found yourself at the brink of orgasm in short minutes encouraged on by the way he continued to steadily fuck into you.

“Good,” he whispered as he felt you flutter around him, sucking him in impossibly deeper. Those words were the final straw for you. Before you realized what was happening, you could hear yourself faintly crying out like a far-away echo, body jerking and trembling beneath him as he worked you through it, only taking his hand away when he knew you were spent.

“Such a perfect cunt.” You barely heard him, dazed in your own little world, only feeling now, mumbling out something about how you wanted him to cum inside of you.

He slowed, barely, but his steadiness remained, the only indication that he was close was his cock twitching against your still fluttering walls. Letting out a long, hissed groan he finally let himself go, shuddering against you as he came, filling you up even more from the inside. His body pressed into yours as he simply held you, listening closely to your whimpers and gasps.

As you slipped out of your own brain, coming back to reality, you moaned at the weight of him against you, wrapping your arms to rest around his shoulders. Your legs shook around him, barely staying looped around the back of his thighs now.

Gradually, he propped himself up, almost painfully pulling out of you. Although his cock was barely half hard now, the stretch pulled at you just as much as it did at the beginning. He quickly pulls out the neatly placed pocket square from the jacket draped behind him and cleans himself off while you lay there, still winded and trying to process what happened.

Waiting for you to say something or do anything, he drinks up the sight of your glistening cunt, his cum pooling between your legs as it slowly drips out. The small groan you let out as you sit up with unsteady motions gets his attention, prompting him to lean back over you and clean around your thighs, purposefully ignoring the mess between your legs. You watch his actions, dread creeping in as to what happens next, but all he does is adjust your panties back into place and help straighten out your skirt when you wobble off the desk.

Silently, he holds your hands as you regain your footing.

“Um, thank y-”

“Your internship ends next week, correct?” He cuts you off, taking his hands out of yours and rounding the desk to sit at his chair.

“Yes, it does.” It’s obvious he knows the answer, but you reply anyway. You swallow, clasping your hands together to keep them from shaking.

“Alright,” he says, scribbling something on the back of a business card, “feel free to call me after your last day.”

A little surprised, you take the card from him and hold it tight, a weight being lifted from your chest. With a little nod, you go to leave.

“Oh, and y/n?”

“Yes, sir?” You chirp. He takes a deep breath, wondering how it would sound if you called him that next time.

“This didn’t happen.”

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Two: Plotting and Planning

Chapter Summary: You finally arrive at Jeju Island, but there’s trouble in paradise between you and Dominic.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, stalking, cheating Word count: 2.7k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter One For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

You wanted to punch him square in the face.

Dominic was pushing your buttons beyond what you could handle, and you had no idea what had gotten into him.  Never this bad when it came to his attention. Never did he make you feel this annoyed.

Jeju was a nice place--just as beautiful as you had imagined--but the flight was fairly long so none of you went sight seeing the day you landed. Skipped off to the hotel room for some much needed rest, you most of all.

Though you had a weird sense, chills running up your spine occasionally and funny feelings at the back of your head, you tried to shove it aside. Work was not meant to make it’s way while you were all on your holiday.

Not to mention, your boyfriend was talking once again to his colleagues and friends, not paying mind to you as you hauled the rest of the luggage around the large airport and hotel.

You were tired. You felt not normal. He was being a dick.

So it all had started off on the wrong foot. Still time left to change it around, right?

Then Dominic decided it would be great to take up most of the hotel bed--probably because it was so comfy, whereas he only had half of the bed back at home.

Eventually, you were too tired to put up with this behaviour so you got up and walked to Seonghwa’s and Yeosang’s room.

“The fuck, why are you here?” Yeosang mumbled, half-asleep himself.

Caught the rapid pitter-patters of water running in the background, which must’ve been Seonghwa. “How long’s he been in the shower?” You asked since he generally takes quite a long time.

“Just got in,” he answered, moving aside as you pushed through the doorway with a lazy glare resting on your face.

“Good. Stealin’ his bed,” was all you said before flopping onto the nearest double bed--still as comfortable as the king sized you were supposed to share--and knocking out right there on the spot.

Yeosang ruffled his silvery-grey hair, sighing. “His bed was the other one...”

The next day was a little more manageable.

The sleep definitely helped your patience level, though Seonghwa was a little annoyed that he had to share the night with Yeosang.

Granted, when you explained everything in the morning over some food from the breakfast buffet, he understood.

You were like a little sister to him. Sure, he took you under his wing a little less than five years ago, taught you his trade, polished you up to be the best of the best, he still grew fond of you.

An older brother you never had, and acting as such, he was highly sceptical when you brought a boy to the dinner table. Dominic, you had introduced.

Never liked him since. Sucked it up only for you, but his patience too was tested often by comments that were made and outlandish behaviour that was presented. No, Seonghwa didn’t like him one bit.

“Well,” he began, taking a bite of a golden, buttered croissant, “if you start feeling uncomfortable again, just pop over to our room and I’ll kick Yeosang out.”

You chuckled at the thought. “He’ll rip him to shreds.”

“Who? Yeosang or Dom?” Threw a pointed look in his direction, as if to ask him if he actually did just say that. “Okay, okay,” Seonghwa laughed as he almost spat out his orange juice, “I knew you meant Yeosang.”

“Happy birthday, dipshit!” Mingi’s voice boomed from behind, as the rest began to join the two of you. His long arms wrapped around your shoulders as he squeezed you in a bone-crushing hug.

“Happy birthday to you too, douchebag,” you squeaked out. The other boys had settled down, wishing you both a happy birthday--Dominic giving you a little kiss too.

Tried to hold back the smirk fighting its way onto your lips as you saw Seonghwa openly grimacing in your peripheral. “Where were you last night, babe?”

You never particularly liked it, that nickname. ‘Babe’...

“You’re asking that now?” Playfully teasing, though there was a slight hint of venom. None of which he picked up on. “I was with Seonghwa and Yeosang.”

“Really?” Dominic’s brow lifted, the judgement of you spending a night in two other men’s room clearly written in his expression.

“Yes, really,” you replied, less playful since he should have known by now that all of you were strictly friends. Neither passion nor romance was held for either the black-haired clean-freak and the grumpy introvert.

Has never been since you were all like family.

“Okay then,” he sighed, sitting beside you with his plate of a heavy breakfast.

The boys stayed quiet throughout the exchange, noticing everything going on but not saying a word. Knew that you could handle it better on your own.

San, on the other hand, was fuming. Although he was not close enough to hear a word any of you said--not that it would matter since he couldn’t understand it anyway--the boy could see the feelings of annoyance brew in your mind.

Hongjoong had his hand on his friend’s shoulder, preventing him from walking up and doing something he would regret. “Look, you don’t know what’s being said, so just give it a rest and enjoy your toast.”

“Joong, I can’t enjoy my toast, especially if he’s said something that makes her upset. I’ll floor the fucker, I swear--”

“San,” the blur-haired boy warned in a low tone, “eat your toast.”

One of his strengths would be that San knew when to back off. Sure, it came to a much bigger challenge when you were involved, apparently, but he still had listened to his second-in-command. “Fine. I’ll eat it, but I won’t like it.”

Hongjoong had not said another word to him, still pissed off about what his boss had pulled last night. Flying over had drained energy out of him, no matter how many times he did it, so all he wanted to do was to go to the villa, greet Jongho and Wooyoung, and then go to sleep.

That was it.

But no. San decided he had to chase you to this hotel. This hotel which was less luxurious than the villa and the food was sub-par at best. Not to mention he kept pacing about the room that was supposed to be opposite yours and your boyfriend’s, worried how you left the room and went into a different one.

Hongjoong had to stop him from bugging the rooms or even go pounding the door so hard it knocked down.

Seeing his boss and friend like this had him beyond concerned, since this was the first time it’s ever gotten to this degree.

In fact, he was so concerned, he had to update the two other boys about it--without San’s knowledge.

Wooyoung had told him to bring San to the villa as soon as possible--by tomorrow night, no matter what--but the man in question appeared to have other plans.

Throughout the day, San became more calculated in his movements (particularly when it seemed that you were on alert of some strange presence by the side glances you gave in their general direction). “We're going back to the villa tomorrow night.”

To hear that was a bit of a shock, especially when he had planned for the same thing. “What are you gonna do?”

“Sweep her off her feet, of course,” San smirked, devious little cogs in his head turning.

Ruffling his hair as he looked over at you and your friends--sat down in the tent lounge for your celebratory dinner--Hongjoong shuddered slightly at the ominous tone.

Clinking of a fork against glass, Dominic grabbed the attention of everyone, including the bystanders around him. Clearing his throat, he pulled out a piece of of paper with words scribbled on.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, surprisingly in Korean rather than the language you all communicated in--though it wasn’t perfect, he was still trying. San was glad, now able to understand what was being said.

“Today is a special day, because it is the birthday of two very special people. One of which is my lovely girlfriend. So I would like to embarrass her by preparing this speech, to let everyone know this wonderful woman is mine.”

The mafia boss didn’t like that. He didn’t like that one bit.

“I’m so glad you were born, because life wouldn’t have been as fun without you, and you’re certainly very special in not only my heart, but the rest of the boys as well.”

It wasn’t only San who was unhappy about this speech. This wasn’t just your birthday, it was Mingi’s as well, yet he was written off. So, before Dominic could conclude his speech, you stood up, interjecting him.

“Thank you, for that nice speech. But I also want to congratulate my childhood friend, for it’s his birthday today too.” You lifted your glass to cheer the giant. “If it weren’t for you, God knows where I would be, if I would even be alive. You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count and for that, I’ll forever be eternally grateful.”

Hearing you speak such good Korean had--for some bizarre reason--made San’s heart skip a beat of two. Even as your accent shone, the pronunciation was close to flawless.

Yet Dominic was not feeling so proud. Yes, it was Mingi’s birthday too, but that speech was for you. Interrupting him was almost as if you were putting Mingi before him. Before your boyfriend.

As the chocolate cake topped with sparklers was brought out by the staff and people around you started to sing ‘happy birthday’ in Korean (your friends being the loudest), you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were being watched again. But what was worse, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Dominic was going to do something dumb tonight.

“Excuse me,” you said as you stood up in the middle of dinner, when everything went back to normal.

“And where are you going, little missy?” Yunho asked as he moved his long legs to let you get past.

“Bathroom,” was all you said as you went by, needing to freshen up after feeling so... odd. Confined under the eyes of people you didn’t know.

The night had brought itself a particularly cold wind, rushing past your black chiffon dress. “Crap,” you cursed, “should’ve brought a thicker coat.”

Each turn you made, you became increasingly confused as to where you were. This place was like a damn maze. “Should’ve probably asked for directions too.”

“Are you lost, babygirl?” a deep voice asked you in English, cocky tone evident in the way the words rolled off his tongue. You turned to see the man who had just dared to call you that, ready to thump him in the face with a nearby plant pot, but when you saw his face, a sense of familiarity washed over you.

This was the guy. He's eyes were following you since you came off the plane--you could feel it in your bones.

“No thanks, you replied back in English, “I’m perfectly fine.”

And you turned around, not capturing the devilish smirk growing across San’s face as he watched you powerfully walk off in some random direction, not knowing if it was towards the bathroom.

But he didn’t need to know that, did he?

“Where’s Dom?” Mingi pondered as he looked around, realising it was oddly peaceful in the area.

“Not a clue,” you shrugged, “he’s been gone all night. Disappeared after dinner.”

While Yeosang, Yunho, and Seonghwa went swimming in the hotel pool, hearing their yells of ‘Marco!’ and ‘Polo!’, you and your childhood friend opted for sunbathing on colourful lounge chairs.

“Since when the fuck do you not have a clue? Plus, we all saw how that dickhead was eyefucking that random hoe at the dinner.”

“I really don’t wanna think about it. After all, it’s our birthday and I don’t wanna ruin the mood by thinking of the things he’s probably doing.”

Propping himself on his elbows, he took off his sunglasses to look at you. “Bastard’s cheating on you and you’re not gonna do anything?”

“Oh no, I’m definitely going to bring pain upon his ass like never before, but right now is not the time. Besides, it’s not as if we ever loved each other. And I finally got a good night’s sleep.” You placed your hand over his in a reassuring way, but it did nothing much.

Your response had Mingi biting his bottom lip, worried. “Hearing you talk like that scares me sometimes, ya know?”

“After everything I went through, you still think I’m going to be who I was?” You opened your eyes, peering over at him with eyes so cold that there was only one situation he would see them. “Do you still fucking think with all the shit that the five of us do, I’d still be a person who believes in mercy or love?”

Sighing, he lay back down with his sunglasses covering his eyes once more. “You’re right, it’s dampening the mood. What are you planning to do between now and dinner? Any particular place you wanna visit?”

Contemplating, you hummed as you thought of what to do next. “Maybe visit the stone park? Looked beautiful enough in the pictures,” you sighed, “What do you think? Your birthday too, ya know?”

The tall man shot a boyish grin your way. “Sounds great--”

“Hey!” The two of you turned your head to look at Dominic, who had trudged towards you in flip-flops. When he bent down to peck your cheek, you made no move whatsoever, internally cringing at the feel of his dirtied lips against your skin.

“And where were you?” you inquired, clearly not pleased with this. He hadn’t even bothered to hide the lingering scent of fruity perfume of the random woman he spent the night with.

Though there was something very much off about him since this isn’t something he would do, you will never excuse his disloyal behaviour.

“Oh, I went to Hallim Park. You seemed busy with the rest of the boys so I decided to leave you in peace.”

You took your glasses off, pretending to be pissed off about him going to a place he didn’t actually visit when it was actually about the secret he was trying to hide from you. “Are you shitting me right now? You promised we’d go there together.”

“I know, but I just needed to clear my head for a bit.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, no longer looking you in the eye.

“For the entire night?”

“Yes, for the entire night,” he snapped, instantly irking you even more because how fucking dare he?

Sighing, you got out of the lounge chair you were in, licking you lips to calm you down just a fraction before you stab him in the eye. “You know what?”

Each step you took towards him, he took backwards until he was right at the edge of the pool.

You brought you lips right next to his ear, the faint scent of pineapple lingering on your tongue, spotting the hickey hidden under his neck. You whispered, “fuck you,” before pushing him with ease into the pool to create a massive splash.

With steam coming out of your ears, you stormed away back into the hotel as Mingi lay there, laughing.

“That’s my girl,” San chuckled as he watched the scene unfold. He could tell from the feeling of the argument that you were unhappy about your boyfriend not being home that night.

In fact, when the mafia boss first noticed the way Dominic couldn’t peel his eyes away from one of the other women in the lounge last night, he decided to keep tabs on his movements--and thank god he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have found the great evidence that could pull you two apart and thrust you into his arms.

Hongjoong however, was actually somewhat terrified. “That man was twice the size of her.”

“I know. Feisty little lady.”

The blue-haired man looked at him with so much disgust, watching how he was so enamoured by you and a little turned on. No matter how open San was about what he liked in ‘bedroom matters’ both verbally and (unfortunately) physically, he still couldn’t help how grossed out he was.

“Jesus, keep it in your pants,” he grunted.

“Chin up, Joong,” San sighed, strangely gleeful, “we won’t have to stalk around much longer.”

“No?”

“No,” he smiled, “because she’s back with us to the villa. Tonight.”

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby​ , @sparklychangbin​ ,

[sugar-petals]

BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense. 

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS  ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex. 

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈  ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈  THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now. 

tarot mlist | ko-fi

----

for anon:

[safarigirlsp]

Why don’t you write submissive men? I love Sub!Kylo and that’s how most people write him, but you tend to write him as his Dom? Can we send requests for sub Kylo? That’s seems more how people see him. The hyper alpha masculinity seems less popular now. Not trying to be rude, just curious. I read your FAQs and wanted to see how against submissive stuff you are?

Just my personal preference, but I really don’t care for subby men.

Now, a dominant badass who is being submissive to his woman is totally different and something I’m very into, as is a man doing everything he can to please his woman.

However, truly submissive/subby men are not my thing and they kind of weird me out personally.

All of the characters I write I personally HC as something like service oriented dominant alpha men. They have different facets and degrees of dominance, obviously, but I do not HC any of them as being submissive by nature. A common assumption is that a dominant man is dismissive of his woman’s pleasure. I completely disagree. On the contrary, they have a huge amount of ego bound up with their ability to make their woman feel better than she ever has before and better than absolutely anyone else ever could.

This doesn’t mean that I write meek or weak women. I almost always write a badass woman who’s at least equal to her man. I personally think there’s a lot of fun in being a boss bitch who still finds a man who’s tough enough to come in and sweep her off her feet and make her feel like a queen.

It saddens me personally that there isn’t more alpha men and big badass masculinity floating around in the culture anymore! I love it myself and I can’t get enough!

My first crushes on characters when I was 5 were on Dirty Harry, Indiana Jones, and Rocky Balboa. These days it’s more like Kylo, Flip, Wolverine, Tony Stark, and Mike Banning lol. So, that should tell you something about my view of ‘hyper alpha masculinity.’

Please see the following for some wonderful sub Kylo! There’s a ton more out there obliviously, I just do not read a lot of it personally, so I’m not as familiar with that.

Submission thread between @contesa-lui-alucard and @leather-and-embers

https://contesa-lui-alucard.tumblr.com/post/636960484272291840/submission

Ropes of Silk by @lovelyykylo

https://lovelyykylo.tumblr.com/post/633197552683122688/ropes-of-silk

Lightening by @babbushka

https://babbushka.tumblr.com/post/632446224311730176/lightning

A Million Things by @babbushka

https://babbushka.tumblr.com/post/631278802394300417/a-million-things

Formidable by @babbushka

https://babbushka.tumblr.com/post/184651433077/formidable

[fallin-flcwer]

JIWON’S TRUTH BOOTH

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: “Moon Ji Won” 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it? “My name has numerous meanings. “Ji” can either mean ‘wise’ or ‘ambitious’ and “Won” can either mean ‘beautiful woman, as well as ‘first’. My parents never really decided what it meant, but I just take it as “ambitious and beautiful woman.””  3. Do you have any nicknames? “Nope” 4. Where were you born? And in which country? “Seoul, South Korea” 5. What is your date of birth? “I was born on June the 22nd, 1998″  6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? “My star sign is Cancer, I believe.” 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? “Not completely, but I still find them interesting to read about sometimes.” 8. Where do you live? “I’ve got a house Lilac Wells, I’m staying in while I’m here. I’ve also got a house in Seoul, as well as in Tokyo but I don’t visit that one often since I’m usually busy in the first two.” 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) “I live on my own.” 10. Do you have any siblings? “I’m an only child.” 11. Do you have any kind of allergies? “None that I know of” 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? “Yes! I’ve got a miniature poodle called Bambi and a bombay cat called Byeol” 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? “Honestly I just did it for fun. It wasn’t until I got accepted that I realised how big of an opportunity it was.” 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? “Not really. I had already debut by the time auditions came. Personally, I think I could’ve done a lot better for my debut, but it still got me by.” 15. What is the current course you’re following? If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? “I am currently doing music and dance. I think acting and fashion would be fun” 17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? “Gotta Go! I think some people my argue that Snapping was the better comeback, but I still see it as a sequel to Gotta Go. It definitely the comeback that started steering my career to where it is now.” 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? “Singular Act I! I think, especially since Everleigh and I were both opening acts for Ruby, I’ve seen her grow so much as an artist.” 19. Do you like FanCons? “Yes!” 20. What do you like about FanCons? “I like being able to meet fans.” 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? “I don’t really have anything bad to say about them.” 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. "While I was doing a fansign one fan walked towards me, got on her knees and bowed down. It happened so quickly and caught me completely off guard.” 23. Your favorite event so far? “I love anything halloween, to be honest.” 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? “Something in Korea, maybe? We’ve got quite a few K-Pop artists here now so it’d be nice to do something there.” 25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? “Yes.”

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? “I am very ambitious, approachable, and detail-oriented” 27. What are you negative traits? “Sometimes I don’t know when to rest and I kinda set myself into overdrive until I’m satisfied with everything” 28. What would other people describe you as? “Hard-working, always busy and resourceful” 29. What are your pet peeves? “Does constant, loud yawners count?” 30. What makes you happy? “Seeing a project I’ve been working hard on finished.” 31. What makes you upset? “Seeing people not take me seriously because I’m a woman. It doesn’t get to me as much as it used to, but it’s still gets disheartening from time to time.” 32. What is something you love? “My parents, Byeol and Bambi, and my work.” 33. What is something you dislike? “Having my idol and hotel life interfering with each other. I’ve done a pretty good job keeping them separate, but there have been times where they’ve coincided and it got too overbearing.” 34. What are you strengths? “Singing, Dancing, Working” 35. What are you weaknesses? “I can be overly critical of myself when things don’t go to plan.” 36. A misconception people often think of you? “That everything came easy for me. Yes, I’m privileged, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t work. In fact, it really meant that people expected more from me. I graduated high school and got my degree early, but I worked myself to the bone making sure I was on top of everything. I chose to become an idol as well as working in the hotels, and people gave me hate for it. That’s died down a bit, but still... Both jobs consist of me having to satisfy people, so I have an ongoing cycle of writing reports, writing songs, recording, choreographing, performing, promoting, the list goes on forever and it’s rare that I ever catch time to set aside for myself.” 37. Do you have any fears? “Mice and rats. I’m fine with mice that are kept as pets and stuff, but if I ever found out that there’s a mouse or a rat living in my house. I just might move out.” 38. What scares you the most? “Not being able to live up to people’s expectations of me as the next CEO of the family business.” 39. What do you do to entertain yourself? “I don’t have time to entertain myself, unless choreographing counts, but it’s still work.” 40. What is your MBTI? “I believe I am ESFJ-A” 41. How do you deal with stress? “I think I handle stress relatively well. I kinda just work through it.” 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? “I’m definitely a determined person” 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? “I think sometimes I can be, but after a bit I scold myself for being selfish.”  44. Would you like to be different? “Nah” 45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? “I’m definitely more extroverted”

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? “I’m heterosexual”  47. Current relationship status? “Single” 48. When was your first kiss? “I think I was about 17″ 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? “My first date was set up by my parents. It was with a one of their acquaintance’s sons in Tokyo and he showed me around the city.” 50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? “Yes” 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) “Yes” 53. How do you know when you’re in love? "I think it’s when I realise I want to spend time with them outside of work, and I catch myself trying to make time for them despite always being busy.” 54. What would be your ideal date? “A day out exploring. I’m more of a city person, so that’s my preference, but I’m open to anywhere” 55. What is your perspective on marriage? “I’d love to get married one day, but I don’t think I’ve ever have the time for it at this rate. Maybe if I ever quit becoming an idol I will.” 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? “Pass” 57. What do you think of relationships? “They’re best when both parties are putting equal amounts of effort into it.”  58. What do you think of one-night stands? “I don’t really have an opinion on them. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve experienced one or two before when I was younger, but it’s not something I plan on doing again.”  59. Are you still a virgin? “No”  60. Most attractive trait in a different person? “A nice personality” 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? “Honesty and loyalty. I’m also an incredibly busy person, so I hope that they can be a bit patient with me too.” 62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? “I think so? I’m relatively private when it comes to relationships but I think once I have the confidence to go public I’d be fine with PDA.” 63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? “I’d rather be asked out.” 64. How do you express love to the other? “I change my schedule up to make time for them.” 65. Who is your celebrity crush? “Sung Hoon”

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? “Yes” 67. Is there something you would like to re-do? So, start all over again? “Pass” 68. What is something you would never share with anyone?  “As rewarding as my life is, it can get draining.” 69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? “I definitely had a mental breakdown sometime between after Boxing Day and New Years. I got into a little argument with one of my Dad’s competitors during an event in Seoul and I had a little breakdown when I got home.” 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: “Winning Female Artist of the Year at Spotlight. Since there were so many artists nominated that had a big impact on St. Judes I was 100% certain that I wasn’t going to get it.”  71. One thing you wish you could do all over? “High school. To be honest, I didn’t really make many friends growing up, since I was so determined to rush through my studies.” 72. Someone you miss? “My mother.” 73. Something you wish you could forget? “My past relationship”  74. Who has the biggest impact on you? “My parents” 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? “Love can be risky, but if you play your cards right it can be rewarding.” 76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? “Pass” 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? “I think I’ve gained a lot of direction as to where I want to go as an Idol in the past year. I haven’t necessarily lost anything, but I’ve let go of a lot of the negativity people usually give me when it come to my role in the family business.” 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? “I’ve definitely neglected some friendships because of my workload. If I got the chance I’d love to reconnect with them.” 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? “Nope”  80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? “Keep pushing through the same way you do, but don’t be afraid to relax whenever you need to.”

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? “Winter” 82. Cats or dogs? “Dogs” 83. Beach or mountains? “Mountains” 84. Phone calls or texting? “Phone calls" 85. Have you ever skipped class? “No”

[bangtan-gal]

Ruin Me (M)

H.hj

Mafia!au

Warnings: smut, angst, not really much fluff, pain kink, corruption kink, dom!hyunjin, sub!reader Mentions of death, drugs (not much), somebody gets burned by a cigar oops 

Word Count: 2.6k

Garrapata.

    The corridor was crepuscular and damp; the walls were made of a rough stone and the few light bulbs cast an orange hue and flickered in and out of existence. You leaned up against the rock, struggling to light a cigarette. You finally managed to connect the flame with the tobacco and watched as the white roll sparked to life. Puffs of smoke curled around you as you picked at your nails. 

Tocado.

Five cigarettes later, there was finally a sign of someone else. A bright white flashlight ran along the walls and you raised a hand to your eyes as it shone over you. You dropped the blunt—barely a third of it gone—and crushed it under your heel. Your brother, Baekhyun, approached you silently with two younger men following behind him. His hair, just recently dyed a sandy blonde, looked like a flame as the light bounced off it. 

His brow raised as he glanced down at the six butts that littered around your feet. He met your bored stare again and then let out a snort. You ignored him as you glanced past to the men with him. One was just barely taller than your brother, his dark brown hair parted down the side. The other was around the same height, his hair a gleaming red. 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” he commented, nose wrinkling at the smell that clung to you. 

You shrugged. “I didn’t know that you were a gang leader until a couple months ago.”

Mentiroso.

    The tall man’s eyebrow raised and his lips quirked into a smirk. He was gorgeous, even in this dim lighting. You could see the outline of a cross that hung from his ear and the sparkles of many other piercings. He wasn’t buff—more tall and lean—but the outline of a gun that hid under his shirt was enough to have you shivering. 

You and your brother didn’t share anymore words as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and guided you down tunnel. You silently counted every time your boot splashed into a puddle or when a drop of frigid water fell onto you. Baekhyun had refused to meet you outside in broad daylight. He’d given you an address, where you met a fake taxi and were driven to this nasty tunnel. You were instructed to take seven hundred medium steps into tunnel and then wait for your brother. 

His cautiousness wasn’t the old sibling you remember. Baekhyun used to be the reckless one; dragging you out at midnight, jumping off cliffs, and getting in fights with anyone that looked at him or you too long. Seeing this side of him was so odd: he was always expected to get into trouble, but this kind of trouble? This trouble where you couldn’t be stupid and had to actually stop and think? Last thing you’d expect.

Demasiado diferente. 

After he graduated from college, you never saw him again. Your father had died when you were six and he was fourteen. Your mother developed lung cancer eight years later and died just a couple months ago. You weren’t sad: you were never close with either of your parents. The most shocking thing of this whole event was your brother willingly taking you under his wing so you could go to college and get a degree. 

Your feet started to ache tremendously as you neared the end of the tunnel. It was dark outside, a complete contrast to the sunshine you’d seen when you entered this hell hole. A sleek, silver BMW waited for the four of you. A man, wearing a low baseball cap, sat in the driver’s seat. Baekhyun sat in the passenger seat and as you slid into the backseat, you found yourself between the two men. Red hair was silent as he laid his head against the window and you noticed a scar that ran through his eyebrow. 

It was Mr. Blacky that was giving you trouble. His hand rested on your thigh, the cold metal of his rings felt even through your jeans. He was looking out the window, pretending like he wasn’t two inches away from your core, but you could see the small smirk. Frustration roiled through you and you couldn’t tell if it was pure or sexual. 

“Is there a reason I had to come live with you, dear brother?” You piped up, shifting your legs so that Mr. Blacky’s hand fell away. “I mean, mom and dad’s house was paid off, couldn’t I just stay there and you pay for college? I love living in that big, scary house all alone.”

Of course you were biting at him. You were glad he allowed you to live with him, but you yearned for answers. Where had he been all these  years? He didn’t even show up at mom’s funeral and didn’t contact you until two months after her death. You’d been alone for all those months. In that huge-ass, dark, creaky house. 

Muy solitario. 

There were probably ghosts that were waiting to feed on your soul.

Baekhyun didn’t give you the honor of his response.

“I was neomu lonely, Bak,” you grumbled, playing with the string bracelet on your wrist. You heard him shift, his expensive-ass leather jacket squeaking against the custom leather seats. 

“Did you keep up with your Korean lessons?” He asked, slowly shifting the subject.

You frowned. “No. I dropped it and took Spanish.”

Silencio. 

“I’ll have you know that I actually got an award on my spanish. Top of my class. My spanish teacher gave a speech at my graduation. I can speak it fluently. I could probably move to Spain or Mexico—never come back,” you rambled. Baekhyun always hated your ranting and how you had this weird ability to go on and on about the most stupid shit. He deserved thirty hours worth of pointless rambling. “I’ve actually been thinking of taking French. Maybe I could become a professional translator; wouldn’t that be cool? I could travel the world, talk to the locals—OOOO I could run, like, a travel critic blog. Muy bien!” 

You clapped your hands.

“You didn’t mention how fucking annoying she was,” Baseball Cap spoke up. His voice was deep and gravelly.

“This is her way of taking her anger out on me.”

You felt like a scolded child as you sat there. That was the one thing you’d always hated about your brother: his ability to make you shut up with some simple statement. He knew you too well, he knew exactly what got under your skin. He knew how to make you feel stupid or childish and as the years went by, he only got better at it. 

And so, you went silent for the rest of the ride.

☁☁☁☁☁☁

It took you less than a week to learn the rules of the house. Baekhyun told everyone what to do and they all listened. It was rough, nearly impossible for you, your inner self always begging to challenge him. But Baekhyun made it clear he wouldn’t treat you any differently just because the same blood pumps through your hearts. You learned that when he dragged you to a windowless room and let you sit there all night without any dinner.

    You also had to sit through the embarrassing “Off Limits” meeting. It was an hour long talk where Baekhyun repeatedly reminded his men and women that you were untouchable. If anyone so dare as look at you for more than a second, their heads would be ripped off and guts shoveled into a meat grinder. You never agreed to it, but here you were, alone and untouched.

Que divertido.

    You poked at your dinner, staring boredly at the wall. Baekhyun was gone, along with almost everybody, so you were left alone with Mr. Blacky. In other words: Hwang-fucking-gorgeous-Hyunjin. The boy with his stupid teasing smiles, little smirks, and eyebrow raises would not leave you alone. He was older than you by barely a month, but you’d never guess by the way he held himself like the king of the world.

He was a more handsome, younger version of Baekhyun.

And it sucked. 

    If you had known the Baekhyun was trying to turn his men into multiple versions of himself, you would’ve thrown yourself out a window. Hell, you would’ve flipped off the mysterious mailman who delivered the letter you got two weeks ago. This wasn’t fun, this was suburban. 

“So, you’re the royal babysitter?” You asked, looking up at Hyunjin. He sat on the counter, scrolling through his phone and not sparing you a single glance as he answered.

“Sure.”

“You’re barely older than me,” you pouted, “I don’t need a babysitter.”

    He held up the pack of cigarettes he had confiscated from you not even five minutes ago. You watched, your mouth watering, as he shook the packet at you. There was the other rule: no smoking. Or at least not for Y/N or around Y/N. Everyone else constantly smelled like weed and tobacco, but you would never see the drugs again in your life.

“Didn’t you try to leave last time you were alone?”

He spoke about the event as if it wasn’t yesterday. 

“I’m the leader’s younger sister! Don’t you think I deserve some form of special treatment?” You cried, shoving your plate away from you. The boy looked up, watching as the china skittered to the other side of the table before peacefully stopping.

Maldita. 

    You stood up, letting the chair clatter around the shiny tiles. Your feet stomped against the floor as you marched towards the boy. A slap ran through the room as you slammed your hands down on his knees, eyes narrowing as you looked up at him. You leaned forward until your faces were mere inches apart.

“I’m not a child.”

“Then why do you act like one?”

    Then he smiled, and there was something about it that was so wrong and so right at the same time. It was sadistic and perfect. Ice shards and fire blazed through your body as a craze lit up his eyes. He tilted his head at you, his hand coming up to run along your cheek and then over your brow bone. 

“You say you want special privileges?” He hummed. His thumb moved down and ran along your lips. Your mouth slowly opened, an ache starting in your core as he slipped the digit in. His knees tightened around your body and he brought your mouth to his.

    You weren’t sure what you were expecting. The taste of weed and addiction? Something bitter? Instead, he tasted like smarties and you could feel his chapped lips pressed against yours. He gripped your chin tightly in his hand as he easily slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your straightened up, moaning into his mouth as his other hand came up to tighten around your throat. 

    He pulled back for barely a second, inhaling sharply before his lips crashed onto yours again. You whimpered, letting your hands slide up his legs and rest on his upper thighs. Your thumbs rubbed circles on his inner thigh and you didn’t miss the way he bucked up into your touch. Hyunjin nipped teasingly at your lips and then pulled back.

    His mouth moved achingly slow along your jaw and then he moved to your ear. Pain laced through your body and pleasure ran to your core as he teeth dug into the upper part of the shell. The soft moan you let out pulled one from him and his grip tightened on your neck. 

“You know,” he whispered into your ear, “you act like such a big, bad girl, but I bet you’ve never had a true taste of danger, hmmm? Do you want it? How badly baby?”

    You panted, eyes slowly meeting his dilated ones as he pulled back and stared at you. It took only one fluid movement for him to hop off the counter, spin you around, and bend you over the marble. Gasps and whimpers of excitement started to leave you. 

Placer y dolor. 

    You felt Hyunjin’s bulge press against your thigh as he ran his hand down your spine. Tingles raced through you and shivered in anticipation. The boy’s desperation bled through as he reached for your yoga pants. He pulled them down quickly, taking your panties with it. He ran his index finger down your folds and then a soft chuckle left him.

“I bet you’re tight too, baby,” he mused. You listen to the sound of him unbuckling his jeans and the sound of them hitting the floor. There’s the soft sound of skin rubbing against skin as he pumps himself out. You lean forward, eyes closing. 

    Hyunjin completely sinks into you in one go. A loud groan escapes you—he stretches you out painfully and deliciously and it’s addicting. His forehead rests against your back and there’s a few moments where he just silently gasps. Then he starts moving.

His thrusts are rough. His fingers dig into your thighs as he hitches you up even higher. Your gasps and his grunts fill the room as his hips smack against your ass. You’re soaked; slurping noises filling the room because of your pussy. His cock continues to hit your g-spot repeatedly and your eyes start to roll into the back of your head.

“Fuck, I could ruin you,” he gasps out, “and no one would ever know. Shit, baby, shit.”

Arruinarme. 

“Just as tight as I thought.”

Arruinarme.

    You felt your high approaching and you unconsciously clenched around him, silently begging for him to finish with  you. And then just as you’re there, just as you feel the beginning of the flashes, he pulled out. You hold still, too shocked to whine or look back. 

Then you hear the all time familiar sound.

Tsssst. 

    You peeked over your shoulder, eyes widening as you watch him light a cigarette. Hyunjin meets your gaze and grins, something broken and psychotic hanging in the depths of his orbs. You watch as he takes a slow puff and then presses a kiss to your neck, the smoke filling the air around the two of you. 

Arruinarme. 

“You can take it baby, whether you want to or not,” he said. 

    Part of you knows what he’s about to do, but the hazy part of your brain refuses to keep up. Then you feel it, a quick jump of pain. You hissed, your head falling against your forearms as the cigarette is pressed to your thigh. You smell it—it’s so subtle, but it’s there—the smell of your own flesh, burning. He pulls it back and you stiffen as you prepare yourself for the next tap. He presses it to your other thigh and this time you let out a loud whimper. Pleasure comes with the pinch this time and your eyes flutter shut. 

“Such a whore, aren’t you?” He laughs.

Then he throws the blunt in the sink and sheaths himself inside you again. His pace picks up, almost as if he never stopped. It barely takes a few seconds for you to finish, your fingers digging into the counter as you tighten around him. Hyunjin grunts and he thrusts harshly through his own orgasm. His seed spills into you and down your legs as he continues to fuck it into you. 

Arruinarme. 

Then he pulls back, letting you breathe. You do, taking in big gulps of air, your legs shaking, and eyes fluttering shut. He lights another cigarette and hands it to you. You accept graciously, puffing on it. The smoke fills the kitchen as the boy helps you back into your pants and then pulls up his own. He runs a hand through his dark hair and then winks at you.

A swirl of smoke surrounds your head as he walks out. 

You hum to yourself.

“Arruinarme.”

[pamphletstoinspire]

Story of St. Maurus - Feast Day - January 15th - Latin Calendar

Life of St. Maurus (Maur) (Order of St. Benedict)

St. Maurus, abbot and deacon, son of Equitius, a nobleman of Rome, was born about the year 510 and died in 584. When he was about twelve years old, his father placed him under the care of St. Benedict at Subiaco, to be educated in piety and learning. When he had grown up, St. Benedict chose him as his coadjutor in the government of the monastery. He was a model of perfection to all his brethren, but especially in the virtue of obedience.

St. Placid, one of his fellow disciples, the son of the senator Tertullus, going one day to draw water, fell into the lake, and was at once carried away by the current. St. Benedict saw this in spirit in his cell and bade Maurus run and draw him out. Having asked and received the holy Father's blessing, Maurus hastened down to the lake, walked upon the waters, thinking he was on dry land, and dragged Placid out by the hair, without sinking in the least himself. He attributed the miracle to the command and prayers of St. Benedict; but the holy abbot, to the obedience of the disciple.

St. Maurus was sent to France in 543 to propagate the order of St. Benedict in that country. He founded the famous abbey of Glanfeuil, over which he ruled as abbot for thirty-eight years. In 581 he resigned the abbacy, built for himself a small cell near the church of St. Martin, so that in solitude and prayer he might prepare himself for his passage into eternity. After two years he fell sick sof a fever: he received the sacraments of the Church, lying on sackcloth before the altar of St. Martin, and in that posture expired on January 15, 584.

Gift of Miracles

St. Maurus was favored by God with the gift of miracles. To show in what high degree the Saint possessed the gift of miracles, it will be sufficient to cite a few examples of how he miraculously cured the sick and restored to health those who were stricken with a grievous affliction. It has already been stated, according to the testimony of Pope St. Gregory the Great, in the Second Book of his Dialogues, how when a youth, St.Maurus rescued St. Placid from drowning.

A few more examples of miracles wrought by the Saint, as related by the monk St. Faustus (Bollandists, Vol. 2), who accompanied St. Maurus to France and later wrote his life, will be given here. They were invariably wrought by means of the sign of the Cross, and the relic of the true Cross, which he had taken along to France.

When St. Maurus, at that time prior of the abbey of Monte Cassino, was returning with the brethren from gathering the harvest in the fields, he met a boy who was mute and crippled, accompanied by his parents. When the father and mother of the boy cast themselves at the feet of the Saint and implored him to cure their child of his maladies, St. Maurus, having for some time given himself to prayer, imposed upon the head of the boy his levitical stole, for he was a deacon, and made the sign of the Cross over him, saying to him: "In the name of the most holy and undivided Trinity, and supported by the merits of the-most holy Father Benedict, I bid you to rise, stand upon your feet and be cured." And forthwith the boy arose, walked about, and with a loud voice praised and glorified God.

A certain Vicar, Ardenard, had been sent by Innocent, the Bishop of Mans, to Monte Cassino, in order to petition St. Benedict to send some monks to France. Arriving at a place called Vercella, the Vicar fell down headlong from a high stairway in the place where he was lodging. His body was so crushed by the fall that his life was despaired of. His right shoulder, arm and hand had so swelled with inflammation, that amputation of the arm was deemed necessary. Recourse was then had to their companion, St. Maurus, who was engaged in prayer in the oratory. Moved by the earnest supplications of his brethren, and the misery of the sick man, the Saint cast himself prostrate at the foot of the altar, pouring forth his soul in fervent prayer. Having finished praying, he took from the altar the case of relics which had been sent him by his master, St. Benedict, and went to the bedside of the sick man. Having exposed the relic of the Cross, he made the sign of the Cross over every part of the arm from the shoulder to the fingers, saying:

"O God, the Creator of all things, You ordained that Your only Son should take flesh of the Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit for the restoration of your people, and You deigned to heal the wounds and infirmities of our souls by the redemption accomplished upon the sacred and glorious wood of the life-giving Cross: do You also vouchsafe through this powerful sign to restore health to Your servant."

His prayer being ended, all the poisoned blood, by which the Vicar's arm had beer inflamed, began to flow off from three different places in his arm, and his arm was cured.

While continuing their journey and reaching the Alps, one of the servants, Sergius, riding on horseback, fell from his horse and struck his leg against a huge rock, and so crushed it that it was but one bruised mass. Whereupon St. Maurus went up to the unfortunate man, seized his crushed leg with his left hand, and with his right made the sign of the Cross over it, saying: "In the name of almighty God, arise and be cured," and immediately, to the joy of all, his crushed leg became whole and sound.

When St. Maurus and his little band came to the church of the holy martyrs Sts. Maurice and his companions, they entered it to pray. At the entrance of the church sat a certain man who was born blind, begging alms from those who entered and left the edifice. He had learned that Maurus, the disciple of the holy man Benedict, had arrived, the fame of his sanctity having already preceded him. When Maurus and his companions had finished their prayers and left the church, they found the blind man lying prostrate on the ground, begging and imploring the Saint to obtain for him by his prayers the light of his eyes. Maurus commanded him to rise, and pressing the fingers of his right hand upon his eyes, he imprinted on them the sign of our redemption. Thereupon the blind man instantly obtained his eyesight.

Maur Rescues Placid

Since St. Maurus miraculously freed many persons from their bodily afflictions through the sign of the Cross and the relic of the true Cross of Christ, in many monasteries of the Order of St. Benedict from time immemorial, after the example of this miracle-worker, the custom of blessing the sick with the relic of the true Cross, has prevailed, in order to restore their health. But until recent years, there was no uniform and approved formula of blessing of the Church. There existed a number of old and new formulas, which were essentially the same, but differed from each other in many details. Some formulas were exceedingly lengthy. In the face of these facts, the Rt. Rev. Dom Maurus Wolter OSB, President of the Beuronese Congregation, petitioned Rome for an approved and authentic formula. A carefully prepared and much abbreviated formula was therefore presented to the Sacred Congregation of Rites for its approval.

This formula was approved by the Sacred Congregation for all priests and deacons, secular as well as regular clerics, to impart the blessing, provided the formula approved by the Sacred Congregation is used.

Nihil obstat: John Eidenschink, OSB JCD, Censor deputatus. Imprimatur: + Peter W. Bartholome, DD, Bishop of St. Cloud, March 3, 1963.

The Blessing of Saint Maurus over the Sick

with a Relic of the True Cross or the Medal of Saint Benedict

Since it is frequently impossible to have a relic of the True Cross, the Sacred Congregation of Rites granted on 6 March 1959, at the request of Benno Cardinal Gut OSB, then Abbot Primate of the Order of St. Benedict, the permission to use the medal of St. Benedict in place of the relic of the True Cross to confer the Blessing of St. Maurus with the approved form as given below.

Efficacy of the Blessing

The blessing of Saint Maurus has its efficacy through the power of the sign of the Cross, the veneration of the relic of the true Cross of our Redeemer, the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. Benedict and St. Maurus, and the blessing of the Church. Innumerable facts attest that where the blessing of St. Maurus has been received with a lively faith, sincere contrition, and firm confidence in God, persons have been relieved of their bodily ills, sicknesses have been cured, and evident miracles have been wrought.

Form of the Blessing

Before the blessing is imparted, the relic of the true Cross of our Lord or the medal of St. Benedict is exposed, at least two candles having been lit. Acts of contrition and firm confidence should then be excited in the sick person, so that through the merits and intercession of St. Benedict and St. Maurus, if it should please God, health may be obtained. Three Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Glory be's are recited in honor of the Blessed Trinity. Then a priest or deacon, having put on a stole, and with his right hand holding up the relic or the medal of St. Benedict before the sick person, says the following prayers:

V. Benediction and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, honor and power and strength to our God forever and ever. R. Amen.

V. My foot has stood in the direct way. R. In the churches I will bless You, O Lord.

Invocation Through the invocation of the most holy name of the Lord may that faith, in which St. Maurus, by employing the words that follow, healed the sick, and in which I, though an unworthy sinner, utter the selfsame words, restore your health as you desire:

In the name of the most holy and undivided Trinity and supported by the merits of the most holy Father Benedict, I bid you, N., to rise, stand upon your feet and be cured, in the name of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit.

R. Amen.

Antiphon. Surely He has borne our infirmities and carried our sorrows: by His bruises we are healed.

V. He that forgives the iniquities of his creatures. R. May He heal your infirmities.

V. O Lord, hear my prayer. R. And let my cry come to You.

V. The Lord be with you. R. And with your spirit.

Let us pray

O God, the Creator, of all things, You ordained that Your only Son should take flesh of the Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Spirit for the restoration of your people and You deigned to heal the wounds and infirmities of our souls by the redemption accomplished upon the sacred and glorious wood of the life-giving Cross: do You also vouchsafe through this powerful sign to restore health to Your servant N.

Through the same Christ our Lord. R. Amen.

Let us pray

Lord Jesus Christ, You conferred upon the master, blessed Benedict, the privilege of obtaining from You whatsoever he might ask in Your name: vouchsafe, through his intercession, to heal all the infirmities of this Your servant: in order that, being restored to health, he (she) may give thanks to Your holy name.

You live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit for ever and ever. R. Amen.

The Blessing Through the invocation of the Immaculate Mother of God and ever Virgin Mary, and the intercession of Saints Benedict and Maurus, may the Power + of God the Father, the Wisdom + of God the Son, and the Strength + of the Holy Spirit free you from your infirmities. Amen.

May God's holy will be done, and may it be done to you as you wish and pray, for the praise and honor of the most holy Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The priest then blesses the sick person with the relic of the Cross or the medal of St. Benedict saying:

May the blessing of Almighty God, of the Father and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit descend upon you and abide with you forever. R. Amen.

The sick person then kisses the relic or the medal of St. Benedict.

This blessing, if need be, may be repeated three times; also three votive Masses may be celebrated, namely in honor of the Passion, of St. Maurus, Abbot, and for the Poor Souls; otherwise the fifteen decades of the Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary are to be prayed according to the aforesaid intentions by the sick person, or by others in the person's name.

Devotion to the Cross

The cross of Christ is the symbol of our redemption. By His death on the Cross, Christ redeemed the world and procured for us all blessings. We need not then be surprised to find among the Apostles a great love and veneration for the Cross. St. Paul says: "With Christ I am nailed to the Cross" (Gal. 2:19). And again: "God forbid that I should glory, save in the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified to me, and I to the world" (Gal. 6:14).

This reverence for the Cross was passed on by the Apostles to the early Christians, for whom the Cross of our Savior was the special object of devotion. They carved it on their tombs, marked it on their houses, imprinted it on their clothing, and on household articles. They signed themselves with the sign of the Cross on coming and going, before beginning any work and upon ending it, and in all trials and dangers. They expected to obtain through the instrument of our redemption every blessing from God, especially protection against the assaults of the devil and all dangers of body and soul.

As the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ was the chief object of devotion among the early Christians, so it was also with St. Benedict, the Patriarch of Western monasticism, and his disciples. St. Benedict often used the sign of the Cross to work miracles and to overcome the devil and his temptations; and it was this devotion of the Saint to the Cross that gave rise to the Cross or Medal of St. Benedict. The sons of St. Benedict have inherited this veneration and love of the Cross from their spiritual Father. We see this especially exemplified in the life of St. Maurus, a disciple of St. Benedict, who cherished a great devotion to the Cross of Christ, and who employed it as powerful means for curing the sick.

Nihil obstat: John Eidenschink, OSB JCD, Censor deputatus. Imprimatur: + Peter W. Bartholome, DD, Bishop of St. Cloud, March 3, 1963. HTML version: Tom Gillespie OSB; graphic: Placid Stuckenschneider OSB. Copyright 1963 by The Order of St. Benedict, Collegeville, Minnesota.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

1. I am an INTP 5w6 female and I want to know how to meet new people, it didn't bother me before but I had a boyfriend.of 1.5years and I now miss having someone in my life, don't remember exactly what I wrote but I thought I had made a good choice and was really hopeful about that relationship and I tried hard to make it work but I couldn't deal with his bs anymore, I did for a while cause I thought he was worth it, I've been trying to build deeper relationships but didn't care before so imbehnd

2. My ex wasn't extremely manipulative but he lied and hid things from me and got angry when I complained when his stories made no sense, I left We knew each other for so long and I couldn't deal with him not apologizing for his bs and blaming me for what he was doing, I just couldn't justify the relationship even if I still loved him This lead me to believe my strategy was wrong since I thought I knew him and that he was more mature than that, no matter how high the filter this could happen..

3. It's just so disappointing, you know? That people can be such assholes after managing to present themselves as the opposite of that for so long I've never really had close friendships except for my ex, and a few friends (I guess?) I didn't care much for this before since I'm alright on my own, but I found that I really liked having someone, so I'm trying to meet new people now that I'm more or less healing, but idk how to do it, acquaintances used to fall in my lap before but not anymore

4. I'm 23 yo, about to get my degree. I do have a crush on a classmate but when I try to picture us going out it feels awkward and weird since I don't know him very well, I need to know people well before considering dating... I'm just very lost and I feel kind of behind from everyone else since I'm super inexperienced (only that one bf, and it was long distance...) and idk how to correct that at this point. I've been dressing better so people treat me better (haven't noticed, makes sense tho)

5. People do seem to like me well enough but I guess everyone already has their group of friends and is too busy to invite me places often enough that I become part of the core group, but I'm getting there, a bit (I think) I've been going everywhere I've been invited with my classmates lately but they don't really bring anyone new, I've managed to be a step up from acquaintance with a girl friend, which is nice, with older friends the same thing happens, even if we come across their friends...

6. I've always had a hard time fitting in very well, romantically I'd love to have someone at a similar experience level because I feel like I missed out on being a crucial relationship for the other person, but my ex had several gfs before and I didn't care too much then but now I do because afterwards certain things made me feel bad, but I guess I could manage anyway.I also get paranoid when I read what other bs some people manage to do like marrying someone but loving their bestfriend instead

7. I apologize for making it so long but I thought it'd be necessary to give a bit of info on myself and my thoughts, my age, what I've been trying etc I just wanna meet good people at this point in my life and want some tips on how to do that without taking extremely long only for them to be assholes anyways... I think I've managed to make some more acquaintances but I've only clicked with two girls I talk to outside of the classroom when we're not hanging out, gonna focus on them rn-----------------------

(very long response ahead)

I know this is not what you asked nor is it necessarily going to be helpful or relevant but: I would strongly rethink your type. Ti-doms and 5s are both vanishingly unlikely to drop seven asks worth of highly personal and emotionally open information in the inboxes of total strangers.

With regards to the actual question, this is really not an MBTI question (more on this at the end) and not entirely something I’d consider myself an expert on. I very much hope I am not the only person you can go to on this because I personally wouldn’t want me to be my only source of advice on this. With those caveats, see below.

I think Tumblr (and to be fair some forms of media) portray friendships and relationships as an attraction at first sight/immediate connection.

This is fucking stupid.

Because I tie everything back to my personal soapbox causes: this is why I have such disdain for the anti-small talk crowd, or people who think they’re special because they crave a deep, below-the-surface human connection. Nearly everyone wants deep connection. It’s normal and healthy. It’s also an ongoing process that nearly always involves some period of time during which you and the other potential friend are awkward acquaintances who don’t entirely understand each other and have to talk about surface-level things. You can’t speedrun intimacy.

This is particularly true in adulthood. Children do make friends more quickly, but also children are weird and fickle and a friendship can be based on little more than sharing crayons (not to knock that, plenty of great friendships started that way) while adults have a much better sense of who they are and also typically a much more narrow definition of who they want as a friend and all kinds of emotional baggage to boot.

Essentially, if you want a friendship that matches the depth of a relationship of 1.5 years it’s probably going to take close to 1.5 years to get there, and from what you said you’d known each other even longer before the romantic relationship, so add that time too. Which might not be what you want to hear, but it’s important to manage the expectation. Basically all relationships (and by this I mean romantic or platonic) start out with little connection, and you become friends through building that connection, and you can’t really rush it.

I believe in “clicking” in the sense of there being an immediate mutual interest in getting to know each other better, but speaking practically, regardless of the initial chemistry you are still basically intrigued strangers at that point. All clicking does is provide additional motivation for that process of getting to know each other. And speaking from experience, deep friendships in the long term don’t always have an initial “click”. I’ve had relationships that were initially quite intense fade away, and others slowly grow from acquaintanceship into lasting intimate friendship even if we didn’t expect it on first meeting. The myth of clicking is confirmation bias - unless there was a serious fallout, you’ll probably forget the people who you thought you clicked with if it didn’t just work out, and conversely it’s not hard to look back through the lenses of memory and nostalgia and find a single moment when a friendship or love crystalized, even though the reality is that it was merely the tipping point after considerable energy had already been invested on both sides.

In terms of practical advice, finishing up a degree is a uniquely awkward time, especially if all your classmates are in the same boat, because there’s often a mentality of “we’re all going to leave soon, let’s stick with the friendships we have.” Others in your class may not have that motivation to make a close connection, and it sucks but it’s temporary. The good news is that the larger world doesn’t feel that way. It is a bit more difficult to make friends as an adult, just because you’re not spending time with people naturally the same way as you do in school, but meetups and clubs and social organizations all exist for this reason and are explicitly there for people who want to make friends. And again, it’s going to be a slow process. I respect that it’s frustrating having to start from what feels like square one, but it’s unavoidable.

As for dating, you don’t need to do apps if you don’t want to! But you’re right. It’s going to be comparatively inefficient. Particularly if you prefer to date people you already know socially, you’ll have to put in a lot of effort going to social things and building those acquaintanceships over time and you might need to ask someone out face to face. Inexperience is fine. Everyone has to start somewhere. The tradeoff is more that you can’t screen people as well if you’re on apps, and they can be kind of impersonal but you do get to interact with many people quickly on your own terms without having to go outside and with the luxury of being able to think up witty comebacks instead of having to chat in real time.

(I do want to counter the idea that people who use apps are any less deep or anything like that. Some people are comfortable with casual hookups and some aren’t, but many people use apps to set up a date first and see if they have enough of an interest to keep things going. As with all of the above, everything has to start somewhere and if you think of the app as a way to facilitate meeting people, rather than “I must make a romantic connection with this person tonight”, and steer towards dating vs. hookup apps/make it clear you’re looking for long-term relationships, you might have more luck. The point of the first date for most people isn’t to find a partner, though sometimes that happens; it’s to find someone you enjoy enough to go on a second date with and slowly get to know).

One final thought: all this advice applies universally but I actually think considering it in the context of MBTI is more harmful than helpful, or at best misleading. For example, you say that being a 5 you take too long to check if people are safe, which whether or not you actually are a 5 also has absolutely nothing to do with being a 5, and even if you are a 5 and this is a 5 thing, you’re aware of this behavior! You can stop doing that then! MBTI is not destiny!

Regardless of type, no one automatically knows what to say in every situation, no one can read minds, and no one has discovered the secret to always being liked and never being rejected. Type can convey talent or inclination but skill requires time. Extroverts are often better with people because they have to be - they aren’t as okay with just being alone, especially when younger, so they go out and deal with people and through that process learn to make friends. But they weren’t born with it. Sites that favor introverts and/or intuitives are terrible for a lot of reasons but I find they perpetuate the ideas I disagreed with above, that friendships for introverts and intuitives must always be with people who Click and Already Get It. This is wrong and it’s limiting. Obviously don’t pursue a friendship or relationship if you don’t like the person, but don’t write someone off just because you didn’t feel a magical spark right away. That’s not being deep and sensitive - that’s being closed off to new experiences. Anything worth doing involves real-world effort and some amount of risk, and usually it involves patience and time and awkwardness and uncertainty as well.

[festforall-genfic]

Writing Advice ft. Michaela Grey

Hello! This week we have a special treat! Michaela Grey answered some of our questions regarding writing for you!

Our informal questions are in big text, and Michaela’s responses are not.

Headings:

1. About Michaela Grey

2. Accepting criticism from readers

3. Accepting criticism from betas/editors

4. Loving writing when it gets tough

5. When your writing doesn't do what you planned/outlined

6. Humour in writing

7. How to [avoid] Distractions

8. Remembering to take care of yourself

9. Moving from fanfiction to original fiction

10. Book Summaries

About Michaela Grey

Michaela Grey lives and writes in the Texas hill country. You can find her work on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and Dreamspinner.com. Her blog is @greymichaela . Asexual protagonist series: Coffee Cake  Beignets 

BDSM series: Broken Halo Broken Rules Broken Trust - coming soon!

Accepting criticism from readers

Accepting criticism from readers can be a balancing act. It depends largely on what the criticism IS. "Your story is bad and you should feel bad" = me rolling my eyes and moving on. "Your portrayal of a POC was hurtful and insensitive because of X" = me fixing what I said that came across wrong, apologizing for the hurt, and vowing to do better.

Take what the negative feedback is about into account, in other words. If it's just that the story wasn't for them, then that's life, buttercup, happens to all of us. But if it's that you've hit a nerve, said something inappropriate or hurtful or portrayed a situation inaccurately? For goshsakes, LISTEN to the person trying to educate you and take steps to make it better.

Accepting criticism from betas/editors

This, to me, is easier, because you have an established relationship with your betas, and the editors are invested in the story and only want what’s right for it. So I try to be especially receptive to them.

Loving writing when it gets tough

Sometimes you just have to take a step back. When it gets tough, I find the best way to fall back in love with the craft is to stop writing and start reading. I read all the time in any case, but when I’m feeling particularly stale, my reading amps up. I’ll read a book a day, revisit auto-buy authors and beloved stories, etc, until I remember why I love it so much and I’m inspired to write more of my own.

When your writing doesn't do what you planned/outlined

Oh, you mean ever? Seriously, I neither plan nor outline, because it’s guaranteed not to go according to what I’ve written down. The most I do is discuss it with my beta(s) beforehand and get a good grasp of the characters’ motivations. Once I know what they’ll do in a given situation, I know what direction the writing is going to take.

Humour in writing

It’s good, I like it. What’s the question here?

How to words Distractions (good and bad)

Is this “how to AVOID distractions”? [Yes] 

Basically that can take a number of forms. Sometimes it’s an hour I carve out for myself while the kids are busy. Sometimes, it’s 5 minutes in the drive-through writing on my phone while I wait for food. Avoiding distractions is a matter of practice. The more you do it, the more you put yourself in that writing space, the easier it gets.

Remembering to take care of yourself

I’ll let you know when I figure that one out. (Seriously, hydrate and try to eat semi-regular meals—other than that, I got nothin’)

Moving from fanfiction to original fiction

I think fanfic can be a great stepping stone to original fiction. It’s great to play in established worlds with known characters as a way to practice various techniques, etc. You can also build a fanbase and bring them with you when you branch into o[riginal]fic. 

That being said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with only ever wanting to write fanfic. Write what makes you happy. Never write to please the majority. If you only enjoy playing in the Supernatural or Star Wars’ sandboxes, then you should never feel guilt over staying there. Writing is something that should bring you joy, ultimately.

____

Book Summaries

As a reminder, you can find Michaela Grey’s work on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and Dreamspinner.com, and direct links to her books are below.

One of the mods has read Michaela’s work multiple times, and thinks it is absolutely amazing. If it's something you're interested in, they highly recommend her books. Asexual protagonist series (has romance and more mild sexual content): Coffee Cake Bran Kendrick never expected to fall in love. He’s asexual, after all. What chance does he have of finding someone who’ll see past that? So when Malachi Warren catches his eye, Bran tells himself his crush will pass. Malachi disagrees. He has been attracted to Bran for some time, something he is delighted to find Bran reciprocating. They begin to date and feel their way through an intimate relationship that meets both their needs.

Suddenly Bran finds himself juggling a new boyfriend, a demanding job, and a college degree he’s not sure he wants, but he couldn’t be happier―until a series of seemingly random accidents befall Malachi. When they escalate, Bran realizes someone is trying to take away the best thing that ever happened to him, and he must scramble to keep Malachi safe while they search for the would-be killer. Beignets - sequel to Coffee Cake. The summary spoils some of the first book, so it’s not in this post.

BDSM series: Broken Halo (has romance and intense sexual content)

Micah Ellis is an affluent businessman, comfortable in his life and work, as long as nothing happens to shake up his routine. Which is exactly what one Devon Mallory does, with his bright blue eyes and dirty skin and the forceful personality that’s everything Micah desperately needs but is too afraid to ask for.

Micah and Devon enter into a Dom/sub relationship and navigate the world of BDSM and Micah’s crippling insecurities as they gradually fall in love. But Micah’s past is coming back to haunt him, and they must face it together—and that means learning acceptance and discovering that they both deserve love their way and on their own merits. Broken Rules - pre-orders open now! Release date: 24 July 2018

Sanyam Desai is a Dom, a master of his craft. He knows exactly how to make a person beg, and he does it for a living, but he has no idea how to be in love.

Sterling Reynard is in desperate need of manners and someone who cares enough to take him in hand, but he knows he’ll never be loved.

When Sterling’s world crumbles around him, he turns to the one person who’s never asked for anything from him but his trust. But their relationship is built on quicksand, and one careless word will bring the whole thing down. Broken Trust - coming soon!

[anamelesstraveler]

Fic Rec Sunday - 5/28/17

Finally jumping back into this! I’m so happy to rec stuff again.

Scileson

Untested Limits by QuickLikeLight (@quicklikelight)

| Complete | 1,227 words | E | Smut | Polyamory | BDSM | Sub Scott McCall | Dom Allison Argent | Pegging | Double Penetration |

He was shaking - not scared or cold or hurting, not her brave darling, no - but overwhelmed, lost in the sensation she was giving him, overcome by need.

Sterek

For Varying Degrees of Tired (tumblr post) by alocalband (@alocalband)

| Complete | 2,363 words | T | Post Nogitsune | Angst with a Happy Ending | Mutual Pining |

“Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

it’s only nature, I live for danger by Marishna

| Complete | 2,113 words | E | Smut | Established Relationship | BDSM | Spanking |

One could say it smacked Stiles in the face but, in actuality, it was Derek slapping him on the ass with a wide grin and laughing eyes that gave him the epiphany. 

Mutually Assured Dating by @andavs

| Complete | 4,059 words | T | Tumblr fic | Humor | Meet Ugly | 

‘You were singing really loudly in the shower when I broke into your apartment but then i heard you slip and crash and oh god i should probably check on you in case i get done for murder instead of just robbery’ AU

It took all of fourteen seconds for Derek to realize he was in the wrong apartment.

No, Wait, You Got it All Wrong by @troubleiwant

| Complete | 3,475 words | T | Tumblr fic | Deputy Stiles Stilinski | Humor | Reunion |

Amanda glances towards the bar, probably considering a fourth round, and then visibly perks up as something near the front catches her eye.

“Oooh, Stiles,” she croons. “Look over at the door, like, just glance over.” She’s adjusted her gaze down at the table now, faking casual disinterest. Badly.

Stiles raises his eyebrows at her.

“This dude just walked in, he’s so your type,” she hisses. “C’mon, look! I’m telling you, six feet two inches of ‘yes, please, give it to me’ muscles, with some salt-and-pepper scruff icing. Unff.”

Non-Emergency (tumblr post) by dragon_temeraire (@dragon-temeraire)

| Complete | 1,092 words | T | Human AU | Meet Cute | Fluff |

Stiles has never been in a hospital waiting room with a guy as hot as this.

Cut for mobile

A Road That’s Built to Last by twisting_vine_x (@twisting-vine-x)

| Complete | 23,344 words | E | Different First Meeting AU | Road Trip AU | Stiles Stilinski doesn’t know about werewolves | Hitchhiker Derek Hale |

Stiles is driving the Trans-Canada highway, all the way from Toronto to Vancouver. He's always been told that it's a bad idea to pick up hitchhikers, but, somehow, he's still got someone riding shotgun with him, and he's starting to think it might be one of the best decisions he's made in a long time.

stress baking (tumblr post) by bibliosexual (@bibliosexxual)

| Complete | 1,409 words | G | Neighbor AU | Getting Together |

Derek doesn’t usually start conversations, but today he feels like making an exception. “Are you okay? This is a lot more baking than usual, even for you.”

“What? What do you mean?” Stiles says, dropping his hands to his sides. His face cycles through about five or six different expressions before settling on something that’s probably trying to say “innocent and oblivious,” but… well. Derek might not know Stiles that well, but he knows Stiles is definitely not either of those things, ever.

“The cookies,” Derek says slowly. “That you leave on my doorstep a few times a week while I’m out on my morning run.”

Stiles glares down at the cookies Derek’s holding like they’ve betrayed him.

“We don’t talk about it,” Derek says slowly, unsure, “but I thought you knew that I knew it was you."

Tell Me True by @troubleiwant

| Complete | 4,410 words | T | Tumblr fic | Outsider POV | Deputy Stiles Stilinski | Feral Derek Hale | Wolf Derek | Getting Together |

Abby loves a lot of things about being a cop, but handling vagrancy calls isn’t one of them. The only worse option is if it ends up being a drunk and disorderly, too. Just, she hates forcing people to move along when they’re only trying to survive on the streets. And while she can’t blame those who react poorly to her thinly-veiled orders, she doesn’t love getting cussed at either.

Luckily, her partner Stiles is always willing to step up. He intuitively grasps how to balance his authority with a friendly sympathy that reads as honest respect, not pity. Most of the city’s homeless accept Stiles as at least a friendly acquaintance, at this point. Considering he’s best known among his peers for his sharp tongue and a borderline troubling disregard for social norms, it’s a bit of a surprise, but when it comes to empathizing with the genuinely downtrodden? Stiles is your guy.

Which is probably why they get called to deal with the vagrant in the woods in the first place, and that’s when all the trouble starts.

untitled by @effectricis

| Complete | 1,629 words | T | Tumblr fic | Derek-centric | Getting Together | Angst | Unhealthy coping |

Does anyone ever think about the fact that after everything with Kate, maybe Derek goes to New York with the decision to never to be hurt that way by anyone again. Not the losing his family part, because how could he ever lose so much again, right? (Right? I’m not crying at all!) 

untitled by @petals42

| Complete | 840 words | G | Humor | Drunk Stiles | Drunk Confessions |

Stiles was lost.

Very lost.

So fucking lost, and he didn’t even know why he was here in the first place.

He could at least admit that much. He didn’t want to, but he could admit it. Reluctantly. Because he was standing on a very dark corner, with the one very much not-on streetlight, next to a burnt down, probably arsoned, Chinese restaurant called Lucky Dragon, and he was drunk.

So drunk.

So very, very drunk.

you know you’re on my mind (tumblr post) by bibliosexual (@bibliosexxual)

| Complete | 16,371 words | T | Human AU | High School AU | Pen Pals | Long Distance Relationship | Polish Stiles Stilinski | Fluff |

If there’s one thing Derek’s learned in life, it’s that crushing on someone who lives on an entire other fucking continent is probably a bad idea.