#most nutritious vegetable

[fish-around-and-find-out]

If When I get out of this place, I'm never eating seafood again

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [6]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 6.9k

If you weren't able to catch the author's note, update will be very slow due to my campus enrolling us to a government extracurricular that spans for three months so updates with be VERY slow until then. Sorry this one took long, had to remove one chunk out of this chapter so I could have it posted as soon as I could. Also ik the last chapter's ending was so rushed, I'll try to fix it once I get the time so for now, ignore that mess ;-;

EDIT: plenty of details edited out but nothing too important, also fixed a few mistakes.

Please vote Jimin in Visa Choice in MAMA voting and push Namseok to the top 10 for Fan's Choice award! STREAM I'LL BE THERE

<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>

________

“Noona, please… Just turn around…”

“I would if I could, but I'm at my limit here!”

“I will break your fingers if you don’t move.”

“Try it and I’ll tell Namjoon you were the one who spilled alcohol on the book he was reading the other day!”

“Just turn around damn it!”

“I already am! I'm not gonna take a fucking peak!”

You're living through a nightmare.

Never in your life did you think working as a make-up artist for an up-and-rising boy idol group would eventually lead you to where you are now; with half of your body out of the bathroom with an arm stretched inside to hold Jimin’s hand that's also reaching out for yours while he stands in front of the toilet.

What are you, Bangtan's—The current biggest boyband in the world—makeup artists doing, holding onto one of the member’s hands while he’s in the bathroom exactly?

Soulbond strain, that’s what the doctor had said. That's what caused the constant fatigue you and Jimin were feeling yesterday which eventually caused you both to pass out from exhaustion. Due to how ill-informed they are of both your marks, they weren't aware of how fragile your new bond was and how much touching should be involved for the first few days.

So now, you are sentenced—sentenced because having to hold your soulmate's hand while you piss, and eventually, shower and shit is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you—to nonstop skinship with Jimin for a week. Though after a few days, your body could withstand not holding his hand for almost a minute and you hoped it goes past an hour when the week finally ends.

Today marks the last day you both will be confined to the hospital as they've finally cleaned up one of the spare rooms in the dorm so you could move in.

You were so glad you could finally eat something more nutritious than bland soup. It should be a talent to be able to cook a soup so tasteless it would even make a white person frown despite the numerous vegetables and meat on them.

Since Jungkook's Birthday, you found yourself more often than not staring at the ceiling after eating, dreaming about eating other food so intensely it's like you could taste them in your buds.

A few days have passed since you found out you were soulmates with your best friends but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it.

The thought that these five—possibly seven depending on Seokjin and Hoseok’s test results later today—down to earth, aphrodite-blessed men with even more beautiful traits were tethered to you is bizarre. The idea never fails to short-circuit your brain every time you think about it. 

And it's hard not to, not when you wake up sleeping next to the peaceful face of South Korea’s IT boy—with his arms wrapped around you and his head nuzzled under your chin; Its something you’re still trying to get used to as you’ve never dared to sleep while cuddling with your friends, no matter how tired you might be. It was far too intimate of an act, reserved for those who are romantically involved and for someone with feelings as fickle as yours back then, it was inappropriate.

Not that it mattered much now but it's still difficult to be comfortable with the domesticity of it all.

Save for Taehyung and Seokjin, everyone else has continued working, although you had advised a weary looking Hoseok to take a break, he insisted that he's fine whilst practically dragging himself out of the room. Namjoon had assured you that he'll watch over his hyung but you had threatened Yoongi for extra measures. 

Speaking of work, your friends have been blowing up your phone since Jungkook's birthday, asking why they were required to sign a whole different NDA and you told them about your soulmates. 

All of them reacted positively, Minhyuk had even pleaded to hear about how you discovered and had asked to be informed of all the latest happenings, from the courting, dates, and even the bedroom—something you had promised to hit him for once you're back to work.

But for now, you were stuck with a foot out of the bathroom and body turned to the opposite with an arm stretched far out to hold Jimin's hand as he finished his business. 

So far, there's been no accidental flashing, to which you've been thankful for. The whole ordeal is already awkward as it is with only having to hear each other pee.

Jimin couldn’t even jokingly flirt with you the whole time, far too mortified with the idea of both parties being able to hear the stream of piss to even bother coming up with jokes to lighten up the situation, nor could you dare look into his eyes after the first few times you both had to go through this. You had refrained from eating too much in fear of having to shit during the week but you knew it would eventually happen.

Especially since you both have been greenlit to eat take outs and Seokjin had generously offered to buy you both food—bless that wonderful, handsome man—and dragged Taehyung out with him. 

You had been hesitant to make a few demands at first because do you even deserve the kindness Seokjin is showing you after hurting him for years? But the man proved himself devoted once more when he listed down the food you’ve been craving desperately for without hearing it from your lips.

(Tae had joked that maybe it's the soulmate mark manifesting a little late and Jimin elbowed him for that.)

You didn’t even get to tell him not to bother when he began to loudly chant gibberish as he pulled Taehyung out of the room with him.

After all the babying and princess treatment you've been receiving in the short time of knowing you were soulmates, it's hard not to feel frustrated having your best friends become your beck and call when they—save for Yoongi—hadn't been doing so for the past few years. It was somewhat pressuring that you could ask Jungkook to brush his teeth and immediately drink orange juice and he'd do it without question, if not gargling the juice for a little while longer just because you asked him to do it. 

From living alone and getting used to doing things by yourself, to suddenly having five people who'd follow your whims almost blindly, was overwhelming and slowly becoming more annoying than it is helpful.

If it wasn't for the guilt from getting irritated, you would've blown up on the first day when most of your soulmates had refused to let you stand up and walk around the room in fear of having you collapse.

Sure you had passed out from the soulbond strain but that same bond rendered you invulnerable to most things, you're not about to die walking around the room with Jimin, Yoongs.

You couldn't fault Jungkook and Tae for wanting to baby you. Jungkook never had someone to pamper and spoil, and Taehyung only had Jungkook; Even then, it wasn't in a romantic way and Jungkook was also being taken care of by the others so he didn't need to do much. His ex and him didn't last long enough for when BTS’ fame had skyrocketed and he had more money than he could ever spend in his life and is quickly running out of things to spend it on.

Still, it was hard to take all the coddling. It was better when they treated you with the distance platonic relationships had granted you.

The sound of a zipper broke through the awkward atmosphere before the flush of the toilet came. With a tug on your hand, you stepped back into the bathroom to follow Jimin to the sink so he could wash his hand, eyes still refusing to meet.

God, how did a friendship where he could literally strip off to his underwear in front of each other could turn so awkward like this?!

After spraying his hands with an overloading amount of alcohol—”Noona that’s overkill, I’ve already washed my hands.” “That’s just water, I’m not letting you touch me with a hand only washed with water!”— you and Jimin returned to the bed, huddled next to each other as you both scrolled on social media with both your bare legs thrown over his.

There's been comments left on your instagram page asking for Jimin's health and you decided to reply to one comment to say that he's fine and recovering. Silencing the app, you move to twitter when the door suddenly opens and in comes Seokjin holding up two plastic bags of takeout, flexing them as if they were golden medals and you sit up.

“Your handsome savior has arrived with fries and actually good food!”

“Hi noona!” Taehyung greets as he steps out of Jin's shadow.

“Jin you're actually the most good looking man I've ever seen in this forsaken planet, did you get me cheese and sour cream flav—”

“Of course I did,” He scoffed, putting down two paper bags and one drink carrier on your bedside table before placing the rest on the table near the bathroom door. “Who do you think I am?!”

“He almost ordered it all in cheese until I reminded him that you wanted sour cream too, noona.” Taehyung chimes in with a grin as he closes the door, a hand hidden behind his back while he holds a covered cup in the other. 

Seokjin snapped his head towards him with an indignant ‘Ya!’, to which Tae only giggled at.

“You bought that heinous, god awful sweet tea with my money! How could you do this to me?!”

“I offered to pay but you—”

“WITH MY MONEY!”

Everyone only laughed and Jin trudged over with Jimin’s lunch in hand, offering it with an outreached arm and he took it. At least, he tried to. Jin suddenly raised his hand over his head. You watched as Jin continuously teased Jimin whose reach is limited due to the need to be holding your hand. 

Jimin then finally got a grip on the plastic bag’s bottom and suddenly, their fishing game became a tug of war.

“Wait wait wait! You're going to tear it! It's going to spill!”

“Just fucking give it to me, hyung!” Jimin grunt, tugging one last time and the side of the bag rips, immediately Jin lets go.

“Why would you pull that hard?!”

Jimin ignored him in favor of pulling out his container, which he realized is overwhelmingly little compared to your three packages.

“Hyung!” He screams with his bottom lip jut out, dragging out the word. “How come I only have one food package? I'm also a patient, you know?!”

“You didn't request anything.” Jin says nonchalantly, shrugging.

“We've been together for years hyung! You should've known what I wanted like you did noona! This is blatant favoritism hyung!”

Seokjin ignored him, handing you a large bowl of mixed flavored fries, a large boba tea, and a plastic container where an aroma of caramelized fried chicken is leaking out of it the moment it leaves the paper bag. Next to you, Jimin scoffed, incredulous as he crossed his arms.

“She gets fried chicken, fries and boba but I only get Jajangmyeon?!” 

Once again, he ignored the younger man, rolling his eyes as Taehyung bounds up to his disgruntled best friend to reveal the half occupied half empty paper beverage carrier hidden behind his back, grinning widely as Jimin’s face morphs into disbelieving betrayal.

“Wow, so this is how we do things now, huh? I can’t believe you’d do this to me when I’m a patient!” 

“I’m so sorry, you poor poor thing.” Taehyung pouts as he offers out the food and Jimin spared no time in swiping the bag from him.

With their bicker finally coming to an end and Taehyung comfortably sitting crossed legs at the foot of you and Jimin’s bed, you turned to your food.

After eating nothing but bland, runny soup since the night at Jungkook’s birthday, tasting the cheddar almost made you tear up. You had taken advantage of the privilege of tasting far too long, being able to finally ingest something else felt euphoric, as if you were given the chance to walk through the garden of eden.

Exaggerated much but it's the only way you could explain the feeling.

Wasting no more time, you dug into the french fries bowl. 

You hear Seokjin whisper something underneath his breath, sounding incredulous. You watched as he crossed over to Taehyung and snatched his cup, ignoring the younger man’s indignant yelp and took a sip.

Instantly, the mixed taste of cheddar and sour cream was washed away by the familiar taste of Taehyung’s heinous tea preference of illegal amounts of tea and milk. The harsh difference of the three flavors along with the texture of fries gliding on your tongue makes you gag. Your soulmates react, Jimin placing his food down to place his cupped hands under you as if trying to catch your puke while Tae flinches, about to reach over until he sees his brother already positioned to help you and turns to fetch you a glass of water instead.

“You ate too fast noona, try to chew it first.”

“You ate too fast noona, try to chew it first.” You mimic in a tone far too high to be his and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“Why are you being so annoying today?”

“I’m sorry I’m getting cranky after someone disrupted me eating—” Your words abruptly end as Jin suddenly surged in to hug you.

You look at Taehyung who’s staring longingly at his tea still in Jin’s grasp behind you before turning to a similarly perplexed Jimin mid-bite of his tteokbokki. Raising an eyebrow at him, he responds with a shrug before continuing to stuff food into his mouth.

But as you rested both hands on his shoulders, Jin suddenly sniffled.

“Jin?”

Alert, you gently push him off and your eyes meet with his misty pairs, matched with a teary smile stretching plush red lips. Your heart leapt to your throat as both his hands cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead in under a second. But instead of getting a seizure or being struck with an overwhelming amount of pain, nothing happened.

Instead a warm feeling, akin to what the rest of your soulmates caused you, wrapped around you like a thick blanket and you froze.

Then, Jin stands with an excited yip and excused himself out of the room, leaving you and the others confused.

What?

You didn't need to look at Jimin or Tae to know they all had huge question marks hanging over their heads as they stared at where they last saw their hyung disappear out of the room.

Why didn't your body react from having someone kiss your forehead while your bonds were still unsettled? From what you've read, there's always a chance of it happening, yet even if your relationship with him stretched over years, there shouldn't be any reason why he's not causing you and Jimin pain.

Unless he's also a soulmate.

Immediately you were reminded of the time he had carried you and wondered why no one ever questioned why nothing fatal had happened when he had done that in the DFA. Even if it had everyone in a flurry of panic, someone should've noticed and questioned it right? Yoongi should have at least.

There was also that one time Hoseok had held your hand in the car, it was brief but it should've done something still with a Nexus bond as complicated and huge as yours. Yet like with Seokjin, nothing happened.

“What did I just watch?” Taehyung began and you wish you had the answer. “Did I just witness my soulmate get stolen by Seokjin hyung?”

“No,” Jimin says, eyes thoughtful as he looks at you before turning to the bathroom door. “I think we just discovered that hyung is also tethered to her.”

Both your head snapped to the man next to you.

In the small amount of time you stared at your soulmate, the pieces began to click as the cogs in your mind whirs with all the possibilities before it took you back to the moment the horrendous taste of Taehyung's tea violated your tongue. Your mouth falls into an ‘o’.

“Shared Tastebuds.” You mutter.

Jimin opens his mouth to ask you to elaborate when Seokjin reenters with a doctor following behind him, red faced but the blinding wide smile he wore was enough to make you forget he was crying not a second before. The doctor next to him looked ecstatic, eyes a little crazy at the newfound discovery.

“Congratulations, it seems that also Mr. Kim here is a part of your Nexus bond!” He says a little cheerily as he hugs the clipboard close to his chest. “It would do you all well to inform the rest of the group of this finding. From a professional standpoint, I do think that Mr. Jung has a huge chance of also being a part of your Nexus.”

To say you never had doubts that the other two members were a part of your nexus would be a lie, you had hoped they were but the absence of mark manifestation symptoms made it hard to believe they’ll be one of your soulmates.

Who knew all it took to find out if you and Jin were connected was eating while in the presence of each other? If you hadn’t fainted from the lack of food and the Soulbond strain, would you have found out about it earlier?

Was he the reason you’d taste the savory taste of a well-seasoned grilled meat or the sweet fizzling taste of a soda late at night yesterday?

Or is the bond you both have will allow for long distance sense sharing? There are two types of Shared Tastebuds after all.

“The results are due today right?” Jimin asks and the doctor turns to his watch.

“This afternoon I'm sure just before you both are discharged. But,” He turns to Jin. “For now I'll be taking Mr. Kim with me to register his soulbond and involvement in your Nexus.”

When they left again, the three of you remained unmoving, stunned. 

It must be Jimin’s touch that had kept you calm throughout the revelation because you didn’t know how to react. There’s no doubt joy in the hurricane of emotions swirling in your chest, as well as the pacifying effect from both your and Jimin’s touch overwhelming the rising stress and conflict at the back of your head, forcing and pushing them back into the shadows.

You knew you should be stressing over the possibilities of having seven soulmates and how you’d divide your time to be able to equally spend time with everyone, it was already difficult having five these past few days. More often than not, you found yourself suffering a headache caused by the constant noise and overwhelming sensations each individual soulmarks gave you. 

From the constant sounds of Namjoon’s heartbeat at the back of your head, and Jimin’s touch making your skin thrum, even the Amoneuron in your blood is having a hard time keeping you away from soulbond hyperactivity.

Someone’s phone erupted into a shrill scream, it was Taehyung’s. Picking it up, he automatically puts it on speaker and holds the end of the phone close to his mouth. 

“Is it true? Please tell me it’s not true! I’m already competing with most of my hyungs for noona’s time!”

“This isn’t a competition, gguk.” Yoongi drawled in the background. “Didn’t we already establish that? No fighting for her hear—”

“What soulmark do they have?!” 

“Manager Sejin is already on the way with a lawyer to handle the legal side of things, how are you guys doing right now? Is noona good?” Namjoon asks, sounding closer to the mic.

“She didn't faint if that's what you're asking about. If anything,” Taehyung turns to you. “She looks a little out of it.”

“How did it happen? Is it the test? Is it out already?” Hoseok's voice came through, nervous.

“Yeah we'll deliver it to you later also, remember hyung complaining about tasting something weird? Apparently he was tasting the hospital special soup—”

_______

On your dismissal, the doctor had handed the eldest their test results. Seokjin had thrown him out since he already knew what it'll entail but held on protectively on Hoseok's envelope.

Jimin had proposed a small celebration for the mark's manifestation for everyone, nothing too grand, just a few take outs appropriate for tomorrow’s dinner—because Jungkook and Tae had requested pancakes and waffles for whatever reason—and a small cake. 

With five—not counting Jimin as he insisted that you both sit the activity out and Hoseok who visited his sister but promised to return the next day to read his result at dinner—men at your disposal, boxing up and moving your items into their dorm was easy, even if Yoongi has noticeably slowed down the stairs carrying the same one box he’s picked up since earlier; not that you’d call him out on it but you knew Seokjin and Jimin would to do it instead.

If it wasn't for Jungkook's eagerness to have you move in, it would have taken you all longer than you had today.

It was surreal seeing the items in your home slowly decrease, the mass on your shelves and all the personality of every room disappear with every box filled. You had been staying in the same apartment since you were 21, to have its familiar sights and spots be slowly stripped off of its glow felt sadder than you thought it would be.

BigHit had requested your company friends do all the basic packing such as your clothes and products while you were at the hospital, it wasn't forced but they acted like it was anyway. They (read: Minhyuk and Nabi) had jokingly complained about being tasked with doing things your soulmates should’ve been doing, Minhyuk going as far as threatening to sneak off something into one of the boxes and you feared for your life for what that something might entail.

You offered to buy them anything they want the next time you all visit the mall in exchange for their full cooperation and Minhyuk had vowed to run your bank dry with a sly grin.

“It's not like you’d even need them anymore when you’ve got the world’s biggest boyband as your soulmates, might as well spend your hard earned money on important things; friends, especially me though.”

You wouldn't deny the fact that you tried dating Guwon with the hopes of living lavishly without lifting a finger but the world would have to bathe in fire and water before you'd let them buy you expensive things outside of food; that you accept because you'd be able to taste and experience delicious dishes. Not to mention, it's practical.

Having your furniture moved out as well was out of the question after an hour of argument with Jimin and Jin who insisted on having you buy new decorations, except for the books, trinkets, and plethora of BTS collection you were given by the members themselves every comeback.

You argued that you didn’t need them to buy new furniture when you already have working ones.

But that argument was easily disproved when the maknaes (plus you as an unwilling participant and Namjoon because: "hyung you’re big, we need to weight test it!") had jumped into your bed and the frames creaked and trembled.

He was right, as much as it pains you to accept it.

But just because he's right doesn't mean you agree with him.

In the end, with one against eventually all of them, you were due for furniture shopping with Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon the next day. Today though, you were bunking with Jimin due to the need for constant skinship and the lack of bed in your new room.

You spent the better half of the afternoon unboxing and filling your closet with your items which barely filled two shelves out of six that were bolted onto the wall of the small well-lit room.

“Noona, your closet is a bit… barren.”

“The closets are just huge, I have plenty.”

“I’m concerned that you think this is plenty.” He says, thumbing the material of your cream cardigan.

“Don't you fucking dare Park Jimin.”

He smiled. “Who says I'm the one who'll do the buying? I don’t gift clothes noona, you should know that.”

After finding out your and Jin’s soulmark, you had thought deciding what you ate for dinner until the bond settled would be a hassle or until you both learn how to disable it. But Jin had simply agreed on your choices that night with a shrug of his shoulder.

And that amount of trust in whatever you’ll pick scares you in ways you never thought it would.

It's just a simple decision, one would say, but the ugly voices at the back of your head wondered if you even deserve this amount of consideration from him when you hadn’t noticed his lingering feelings for you for years.

But it seems like that fact has long been swept under the rug when the maknaes bounded up to you with mischief in their eyes.

Upon the realization that their Jin hyung would agree to almost anything you’d eat for a while, Jungkook and Taehyung wasted no second running up to you to propose the idea of ordering you a strawberry ice cream for dessert, claiming it was the only way to test their hyung’s love for her.

“You see noona, if hyung really loves you like he said he does, he would suck it up like the man he is.” Jungkook had reasoned to you with Taehyung nodding behind him and Jimin grinning mischievously next to you.

Fortunately for Jin, you don’t think forcing him to taste strawberry flavored things on the day he found out he wasn’t untethered would be a good decision despite the loud voice at the back of your head goading you to follow through their plan for fun.

But you promised the maknaes that you’ll do it someday.

Dinner was surprisingly uneventful with a few talks about the schedule changes and the rumors Jungkook had read and heard from his small friend group outside his brothers. If it wasn’t for the soft glow of gold at the edge of your vision from where your foot is resting on top of Jimin’s under the table and the faint outline of the red string of fate stretching across to Yoongi’s right pinkie, you would’ve tricked your brain into thinking it was a normal dinner with your friends.

With the words streaming out of Jungkook’s mouth, Tae and Jimin’s additional information and the scandalous gasp and widened eyes around the table once the pieces began to form a picture, you almost thought it was an average weekly dinner with your bosses.

But soon enough, plates are taken into the kitchen and Jimin is already pulling you up to your room, saying how he wants to take a shower and that you should take your toiletries.

Something you had dreaded since you heard the doctor had sentenced you to be in constant skinship with Jimin.

Why are you even nervous?! You had seen him and his brothers in their boxers from being one of their make up artists yet your heart had been thudding loudly in your ears the moment you had entered his room with your travel bag in hand.

Turns out, there was a truth in the saying “Ignorance is bliss” in the fact that knowing something could alter the way you think and perceive even the smallest of actions. In your case, knowing Jimin's your soulmate while facing the dilemma of showering together had you completely fucked up.

On the verge of a breakdown, half a foot on the ledge and the other hanging over the fall.

You had swam in public pools with him before but it was always with the presence of others, to be alone in a small room in nothing but your undies while maintaining skinship with your soulmate—

Isn't that a bit too intimate?

Will you even survive?

To stand half naked in a minimal space alone with Jimin, your heart might just collapse.

Seeing him in his underwear shouldn't faze you as much as it should. He and the others has stripped in front of you in a haste of changing into the next costume for the next performance but in the minimal space of his bathroom where you both are secluded away from the other dwellers of the building and he's already topless and is now unbuttoning and sliding the zippers of his jorts, the mass in your throat kept on thickening with the tension in the air.

Your eyes roamed the soft, flatness of his stomach; from up his lightly freckled bare chest and down to the thin trail of hair down his abdomen. The prominent bones of his adonis belt had your throat drying up.

Seeing him topless shouldn't affect you the way it should yet you found yourself heating up at the sight of them.

When he begins to remove his pants, you force yourself to look away, cheeks burning hot as you thumb the top buttons of your—Taehyung’s—polo before beginning to undo them all with your heart thudding loudly in your ears.

The string tied to your finger lights up in a rhythmic beat, persistent and hurried. Wrapping your fingers around it, Yoongi's loud concern immediately washes over your body. You respond to him by pushing down reassurance down the lane and the thread dulls from one side.

“Did hyung contact you?”

You turn to Jimin, already stripped down to his boxers.

God is really testing you today, putting a handsome man in his underwear in front of you and tempting you to let your gaze fall down for a glimpse of his thick muscled thighs you always saw through the fabric of his skinny jeans.

“Ye-yeah, nothing to worry about though. Give me your foot, I need to remove my shirt.”

Obediently, he puts his foot forward and you step on it before making quick work of your shirt. You feel his burning gaze roam your skin and you shiver from its intensity.

By the time you had your pants pooling on the floor alongside his, your heart is thudding uncontrollably in a way that might concern Namjoon at how fast it's going.

Why is the calming effect of Jimin's touch absent when you need it?

“Ready to go?” 

You almost jumped at how hoarse his voice had gotten but recovered quickly and nodded, stepping first into the shower and twisting the valve towards the hotter temperature. Jimin hissed the moment the water touched his skin, breaking the stifling tension for a moment.

“How are your skin not burning off?! It's so hot!”

You rolled your eyes. “You're being dramatic, it's not that hot.”

“It is! The mirror is literally steaming!” He exclaimed, pointing at the long horizontal mirror above the sink which is indeed, fogging up. 

Jimin then leaned over, his naked chest touching your back. Goosebumps prickled your skin and you barely stopped the urge to shiver as he manipulated the valve until he was satisfied with the temperature. When he steps back, you finally let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Hearing your exhale, he laughed lightheartedly. The fucker did it on purpose.

Trying to ignore the thumps of your racing heart, you busied yourself with the task of washing your hair. You reached for the shampoo bottle and popped open the cap, body still facing the wall.

“Noona.”

You looked over your shoulder and Jimin was scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Can I wash your hair for you?” He shyly asks, his sly attitude from earlier nonexistent. “I've never done that with someone else before. I-I’ve always wanted to do that now and now that we're soulmates, I was–I was wondering if maybe I–we could—”

“Not even with that girl you’ve dated before?”

He shook his head. “We were too busy to do something like that, noona. Idol lives and all that. It's one of the reasons why we broke up.”

“She was pretty nice though.”

His lips quirks up. “Don’t get jealous noona, you’re my soulmate after all.”

You hit his shoulder and he brought his arms up to shield himself, giggling. “Do you want to wash each other’s hair or not?!”

Despite your agreement, you were beyond nervous as you handed him the shampoo and turned around to shut the shower off. The string on your finger thrummed once more, still concerned as your heart leapt up to your throat when Jimin's fingers began to thread and scrape his nails against your scalp.

A thrill of pleasure shoots down your spine and you hold back the urge to mewl as he begins to put more pressure on his motions.

It stayed like that for a while and you reveled in the pure domesticity of it all. 

When Jimin retracts his hands, you reach for his shampoo and order him to turn around.

“What if I don't want to?” He challenges with a mischievous smirk.

“If it gets in your eyes, it's your fault.”

He giggled and shrunk down to your height, to which you hit his shoulder for and he laughed, standing back up. 

“Can you even reach the top of my head like this?”

“Fine but don't complain about your knees hurting, you wanted this.” You jokingly say as he bends his knees once more, a playful lilt in his eyes.

Once you lathered the shampoo enough, you began. 

You’ve seen multiple couples on screen shower together and had once wondered how it’d felt having someone to help reach the spots you couldn’t as well as do those domestic things such as brushing your teeth together and just washing each other in general. The actors always made them natural and romantic, with the soft lighting bouncing off their skin and their laughter ringing in the small space.

But showering with Jimin is anything you’ve ever thought of.

Against the other members, Jimin is easily dwarfed by them, matched with the constant jokes about his height, it's easy to forget that the man is still taller than the average man. He towered over you, his eyes intense and lit with a playful sultriness. His lips twisted into a mischievous smirk as he bent his knees low enough where you could touch the top of his head without risking a stiff neck or standing on your tiptoes.

He’s peering up at you yet you feel smaller under his gaze.

He had always done this, getting into your face while you retouched his makeup. In a way, it was nice that you’re slowly regaining the normalcy 

But it's not appreciated when he’s doing it when you’re already fighting demons trying so hard not to ogle at his body and explode from how flustered you are.

“Are you seriously getting flushed now noona? We’ve done this plenty of times already, why now?”

Is he seriously asking you that?

He laughed. Your thoughts must’ve reflected on your face.

“Didn’t know you’d be affected by something as normal as this. Don’t you see us naked at least every other day?” He asks with a quirk to his eyebrow and you narrowed your eyes further at him.

“You know damn well why,” You say, slapping his shoulder before turning to open the shower once more. Laughing when the water burst open above him, cutting him off from replying.

With the tension dissolving with the shampoo on his hair, a playful grin replaced the coy smirk and with his newly washed hair, he grabbed your arms in an iron grip and began to shake his head at you, flicking water from his hair and onto you.

When he was done, he then pulled you into the stream with a bubbling laugh as he watched the shampoo suds dissolve with the water. But with both your arms pinned in place, you weren't able to wipe your eyes and had them closed the moment he had you under the shower head.

“I'm—I’m going to put chili in your fucking water, I can't see!”

With sorrys in between fits of giggles, Jimin reached up to wipe your face for you when he realized this.

Shower with Jimin sailed smoothly from that point on. After his teasing, he made no more attempts to fluster you, even when he was scrubbing your back a little longer than it should've taken. 

He had, however, made comments on how many steps there are for you to shower.

“Why do you need to shampoo twice, use soap AND body wash? It’s not like you’d ever get sick anymore when I’m here.”

You just rolled your eyes and told him to leave if he’s going to complain about your routine. Eventually though, you speed through your routine due to him whining about how he’s starting to feel cold, lightheaded—to which he dramatized by leaning his hurting head on your shoulder—, and is suddenly sleepy.

Changing into your pajamas was a little hard as you attempted to do it all under the safety of a towel while also maintaining skinship with Jimin every other ten seconds who's also doing the same.

You managed somehow and soon enough, you both situated yourselves into the bed, with your legs thrown over his and backreading the bangtan gc that had awakened the moment Jimin had his phone.

Surprisingly, even Jungkook was active.

           [21:24] Mimi: It's so weird tae            [21:24] Mimi: I’ve never seen someone use soap AND body wash THEN washes their hair t w i c e            [21:24] Hoba: I do that…            [21:25] Mimi: That’s expected hyung, you’re a neat freak.            [21:25] You: Why are you so weird about me being clean?!            [21:26] Mimi: ITS PSYCHOPATH BEHAVIOR            [21:26] Jinnie: hoba I think he just called you a psychopath            [21:26] Hoba: 🙁            [21:27] Ggukie: NOW YOU MADE HYUNG SAD            [21:27] Hoba: 🙁            [21:27] Hoba: you think im weird jimin-ah?🙁            [21:27] Yoongs: why is this even a conversation            [21:27] Joonie: Jimin just because you don’t do it, doesn’t mean it's unorthodox.            [21:28] Minnie: you’re one of them, are you hyung?!            [21:28] Tete: I still cant believe Jimin just showered with noona…            [21:28] Tete: why are we breezing through that information?            [21:28] Jinnie: ok so lets not talk about that            [21:29] Jinnie: what do you want for breakfast, beautiful?

Reading his message felt like cold water dousing you awake and you’re suddenly attacked by a wave of guilt.

Is it okay for you to even make demands like this? Do you even deserve being Seokjin’s dearest?

“Ask him for waffles, I'm craving for them.” Jimin says, his voice slicing through your thoughts and you turn back to your phone.

           [21:29] Ggukie: ask me too hyung!            [21:29] Jinnie: alright I’ll bite            [21:29] Jinnie: what do you want brat?            [21:30] Ggukie: noona’s love :DD

You watched as Jin’s profile pic pop up and came down multiple times, and each time they do, your and Jimin’s giggles multiply.

           [21:32] Jinnie: I’m blocking you            [21:32] Joonie: I should have you kicked out for that stupid, corny ass joke oh my god            [21:32] Yoongs: that activated my fight or flight            [21:32] Yoongs: don’t do that again            [21:32] Ggukie: hyung ask me again            [21:32] Ggukie: promise I’ll respond properly this time :]            [21:33] Jinnie: Y/N?            [21:33] Ggukie: HYUNG            [21:33] Minnie: she says she wants waffles :>            [21:33] Jinnie: I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth, Park Jimin            [21:34] Minnie: D:            [21:34] You: I want scrambled eggs and pancakes :D

“Betrayal!”

“You shouldn’t have played around earlier then.” 

“You shouldn’t have played around earlier then. Give me that!” You stretch your arm away from him but Jimin was faster, managing to pluck your phone from your grasp and moving to place it on his side of the floor.

Without hesitation, you launched yourself at his hand making him yelp before it dissolved into giggles when you managed to catch him and had curled up around his arm, fingers attempting to pry him away from your phone.

It was how Tae had found you both in and immediately lept in, taking your side the moment he had seen you and Jimin tussled for your phone. 

With Tae’s help, you were able to take back your phone only to see that it had locked itself from the many times the screen had picked up on both you and Jimin’s palms and had typed in the wrong combination after the other. For that, you slapped his arm.

“What did I do wrong?! It’s not my fault the stupid phone couldn’t differentiate between palm and fingers!”

“If I wasn’t required to touch you, I’d have you kicked out of this room.”

Jimin pushed himself up, face incredulous. “This is literally my room.”

“Next week you should sleep in my room instead, noona. I’d love to have you there.” Taehyung says, pulling you to his chest and side-eyeing his friend. “I wouldn’t be as mean as Jiminie.”

“Why am I getting disrespected in my own room? Is it gang up on Jimin day?!”

“When is it not gang up on Jimin day?”

“Why you—GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud @bri602 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @marvel-potter-1d-korea @comingupwithacoolnameishard @sooha-neul @juju-227592 @coffeewanderer @x-uno @diamonddia-mond @eggsysstuff @dearmyfavoritepeople-bts @sld88 @katsukis1wife

[kaiserthebiter3]

How would the l&ds men react if you were a such a bad cook , but you decided to cook today.

Xavier , Zayne , Rafayel and Sylus x reader (separately)

requests are open:)

Xavier

Neither of you can cook to save your lives , you guys shouldn't be allowed near a stove ,but here you are , both in the kitchen at 3am , no restaurants are open at this hour so you decided to take the matter into your own hands .

"The book says add two spoons of sugar" , considering how xavier likes to read , he happen to own a few cooking books , filled with recipes of desserts and main courses , however both of you were craving a dessert , so you decided to make a chocolate cake .

Surprisingly, things were running quite smoothly , there were a few accidents here and there , but you managed to put the cake in the oven successfully .

you and xavier sat on the couch of living room both scrolling through your phones while waiting , suddenly , a weird smell fills the air.

"what's that smell?" Xavier asks confused , "oh my god Xavier" , "it's the cake" you say standing up wanting to check on the cake , and indeed the cake was burnt ,as expected , "how did that even happen?" you say disappointment clear in your voice "it's been only ten minutes"

xavier looks at the oven trying to figure it out "maybe because you set the temperature at 450 F" he said sighing and shaking his head , "wait is this too much?" you ask clueless , "lovely of course it is" , "even I know this is too high for a cake" he said taking the burnt cake from your hand putting it aside .

"you mean you know that information after too many failed attempts of baking" you say sulking at him , "you know me too well then" he said holding your wrist .

"luckily , I have some ice cream in the freezer for my beautiful girlfriend" he says trying to lift your mood , but that only made you mad at him "you're telling me you had an ice cream this whole time??!" you look at him in disbelief "why did you make us suffer trying to bake some cake?" you frown at him mad , "I just wanted to cook with you , and I had so much fun" he said giving you puppy eyes trying to get you to surrender , and you do , you sigh and give him a small smile "I can't believe you call that mess fun , you're pretty weird" , he smiled back pulling you closer to him by your wrist "only with you".

Zayne

you both order takeouts , or eat your meals at the restaurants most of time , although when zayne is free , or has the day off he'll cook for you two because you will crave homemade food from time to time.

as for you , you only know how to make instant Ramen , and you enjoy them , but your boyfriend zayne doesn't approve of such habits , Ramen isn't a nutritious meal , so he'll be cooking lunch for you today

and you insisted to tag along.

"Zayne pleasssee" you give him your best pleading cute eyes followed by a pout from your puffy lips trying to win him over .

zayne sighs and motions to you to go wash your hands so you can start , "do you see this meat in the big bowl?" , "how about you wash it and I'll start chopping the vegetables" , you nod and lift the bowl enthusiastically , however as you looked at the meat you were quite....disgusted .

'he wants you to wash that?' you thought to yourself , but you didn't complain , persistent on helping him this time , you put the bowl in the sink , the water running on the meat and you're supposed to rub it to get it clean , however all you did was pick it up for a second then drop it still disgusted by its texture .

"what are you doing" zayne startles you as you found him standing behind you with a raised eyebrow , "washing the meat like you asked me to?" you said with a fake innocent tone .

"seems like I've spoiled you too much" he remarks and sighs "you can't even wash some meat" he says crossing his arms , "but zaynee they feel so weird and slippery" you wrinkled your nose pointing at them .

"give me that I'll handle it" he said taking your place at the sink "take this knife and finish chopping the vegetables on my behalf" however as soon as he gave it to you , you held the knife carelessly , it was held dangerously close to your stomach , and he immediately changes his mind and snatches it from you "honey I think the best thing for you to do is to sit there at the table and watch" , you sulk upset "heyyy that's not fair" , "be a good girl and do as you're told" he said his voice a little stern , you don't say anything except for poking your tongue out at him , then sit at the table defeated.

Rafayel

rafayel has been working on some painting for a week , sleeping only few hours a day , and not going out of the house during the painting process , and today he finally finished.

feeling proud of your boyfriend for creating such a stunning painting , you wanted to reward him.....by cooking for him , you do realize your cooking skills are quite poor , but you figured you'd try .

rafayel was in his studio when you finished the cooking , you made him a shrimp with rice on the side and a sauce on top , he does like seafood , so you thought this was a good option.

you head to the studio , your dish in hand , and you see him resting on the couch , scanning his painting for any mistakes .

you walked over to him slowly "how's my artistic boyfriend doing?" you said with a playful smile on your face , rafayel turn his attention from the painting to you , his serious expression is gone , replaced by smile "doing good now that my beautiful girlfriend is here with food" .

you didn't tell him you made the food so he'd be honest with his reaction , "here you go boyfriend" you placed the plate infront of him , "thank you cutie" , he grabbed the spoon and took a mouthful .

and immediately his expression changes starting to cough , you hand him water quickly "rafayel are you ok?" you say concerned and abit guilty , "is this one of your pranks?" he said looking at you frowning .

"is it really this bad?" your voice drops quite and you look down disappointed , "it is , it's tooo salty" he says with his dramatic tone "I think they were trying to get me poisoned , from where did u order that?"

you sat beside him on the couch not facing him , continuing to look down as you play with your hands nervously "I made it" you said your voice barely audible , "you did?" he said in surprise , you never cook usually , "no wonder it's......" you look at him in sad eyes and he clears his throat taking back his words "cutie .., you know?" he brings his hand to your hair stroking it "I was exaggerating , you know how I tend to be dramatic" he takes another bite infront of you "see? not bad" he forced himself to swallow it , his clumsiness made you chuckle "rafayel you don't have to do that , I know my cooking tends to be bad" , "noo not bad just different from the ordinary food we always eat" he said giving you a kiss on your forhead , he never wants you to feel bad about such thing.

Sylus

It was a rare evening where Sylus decided to take over the kitchen, whipping up a dinner for the two of you.

he rolled up his sleeves , revealing the muscles of his arms , as he worked through the ingredients professionally , you approached him with a bright smile, tugging on the edge of his shirt. "Let me help sylus , I want to cook with you"

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your enthusiasm. “Are you sure? You might regret it if I put you to work,” he teased , "I can handle it! Come on, give me something to do" you insisted, eager to show him you aren't this bad.

Sylus chuckled softly, and decided to give you a chance , he handed you a small cutting board and placed some vegetables in front of you. “Alright, you can chop the vegetables. But try not to cut yourself, okay? I’d hate to see you hurt.”

you ignored his teasing and started your mission , beginning with the carrots, then the peppers , and then.... your greatest enemy appeared , the onions , you froze for a moment, staring down at it scared to do anything, but you knew there was no escaping now. You picked up the onion with a deep breath, bracing yourself.

The first few slices weren’t so bad. But soon enough, the sharp, pungent scent hit you , and your eyes began to burn. tears leaking from your eyes uncontrollably , you dropped the knife and rubbed your eyes, but it only made things worse , you turned towards Sylus for help.

“Why did you make me chop onionnnsss?” you asked, your voice cracking as you sniffled dramatically. You walked over to him, “Sylus, I can’t do it! It’s too hard!”

Sylus turned to look at you, his expression shifting from surprise to amusement. “Oh, come on, sweetheart, they’re just onions,” he said, clearly trying not to laugh , he reached out, gently cupping your cheek with his hand.

You sniffed again “No They burn, and they smell bad, and I hate them!” you complained, leaning into his touch as if he could somehow ease your pain.

“You poor thing , and here I thought hunters were supposed to be tough,” he teased, wiping away a tear from your cheek with his thumb ,you pouted up at him, still sniffling. “I am tough! I just don’t like onions,”

Sylus’s eyes softened slightly at your pout, and he took the cutting board from you, setting it aside on the counter.

turning you around and guiding you towards the sink. “How about you wash your face and freshen up a bit? I’ll finish up with these.”

[nonasuch]

a DnD item that should exist:

the Brown Bag of Plenty

The Brown Bag of Plenty looks like an ordinary brown paper sack lunch. Once per day, a PC may use it to provide a healthy and nutritious lunch to each member of the party. All lunches consist of the following (with substitutions for allergies and other dietary restrictions):

One peanut butter (or other nut butter in case of allergy) and jelly sandwich on wheat bread. Type of jam is randomized, with grape and strawberry most common. Sandwich will be cut diagonally.

One juice box, also randomized.

One bunch green grapes

One packet carrot sticks

One packet crunchy snack food (most commonly potato chips, but flavors are randomized and other types of chips, crackers, veggie puffs, popcorn, etc are also possible)

One packet cookies (most commonly chocolate chip or Oreo-like sandwich cookie)

Eating a lunch from the Brown Bag of Plenty will restore 1d6 hit points for each item consumed. This effect will not take place unless the fresh fruit and vegetables are eaten — i.e., eating the cookies alone will have no effect, but after eating the grapes and carrot sticks 3d6 hit points may be restored.

If the PC enters a body of water within 45 minutes of consuming a lunch from the Brown Bag of Plenty, they will lose 1d6 hit points for each item consumed.

In addition to providing 1 healthy lunch per character per day, the Brown Bag of Plenty will also dispense orange slices (2 per PC) after combat, with the same 1d6 effect as its lunches.

[platonicyanderereverie]

ok how about gn reader x fatui harbingers. BUT the reader is OBBSESED with cooking and is damn good at it to.

Make this some headcanons lets see your skill.

Thank you for your request‼️ (You can definitely tell I have favourites😭)

Platonic yandere fatui with a reader that loves to cook.

(No Tsaritsa or Pierro in this one unfortunately😭)

[Warnings: none? Other than usual possessive/protective behaviour]

Capitano

Capitano would be a bit confused by your ambitious nature in the kitchen. Cooking is not exactly what he would deem the most useful skill from a combative standpoint, but he doesn’t mind overall. Being able to prepare a nutritious meal is a rather valuable resource, after all.

He wouldn't object to tasting what you prepare and would seem rather pleased, standing in his usual quiet, stoic manner if you offered him something you made. Although he believes you shouldn't be getting your hands dirty with such menial tasks- rather than, let's say, learning to fight...seeing your passion for it, he doesn't seem all too bothered. It simply means more for him to protect.

"It's good...you seem to enjoy doing this."

Dottore

Dottore would show a slight interest in what you do, mostly observing how crafty you can get with the minimal resources you can find to make something yourself. If you were to offer him a meal, he would accept, dissecting the flavors carefully on his tongue and, with his inquisitive nature, asking about the process. The measurements you used or if you just eye balled it and so on and so forth.

If he feels like it, Dottore might even test you, observing how creative you can get with the resources you have and perhaps throwing random hurdles your way in the form of difficulties in the kitchen. That being said, if he is pleased by the results and your dish turns out well, you will receive praise. It’s really rather simple.

"It seems, you compensated for the lack of variety in vegetables with the broth itself, interesting..."

Columbina

Columbina rather enjoys watching you bustle around in the kitchen, simply observing with a smile. She's more than willing to taste what you make, even making requests at times. She seems to just enjoy watching you obsess over something she deems rather silly.

Columbina will be less pleased, however, if it comes between your time with her. If you want to run off back to the kitchen, you'll have to wait until she finishes her song- then you can go craft up your little meals. It's a flawless arrangement in her eyes.

"Don't run off just yet...I'm not done. When I am, I'll come with you."

Arlecchino

Arlecchino is rather glad you have something you're passionate about. The children and the household seem to enjoy your cooking as well, so it works out rather well.

She’ll humor your little workings in the kitchen. The children of the hearth often crowd around the table in awe to see what you've made. Any dishes you present to her will be judged with high standards, but seeing how skilled you are, that shouldn’t be a problem.

"It's tender and flavorful, as expected. Well done."

Pulcinella

Pulcinella is delighted by your little passion, finding the way you obsess over it cute. He'll often gift you little knickknacks or tools to use in the kitchen.

Pulcinella gladly eats any meal you present to him, finding pride in how well they turn out. He pats you on the head when he finishes, for him, it's a skill made to be shown off.

"Delightful as always! Hmm, how about I get you a new plate set?"

Sandrone

Sandrone is rather disinterested in your cooking escapades but allows them nonetheless.

She might even offer up a few gadgets for you to try and use in your recipes to speed up the process and make it more practical. You'd merely be wasting more of your time than you already do by declining.

"Why not use this to speed up the process?"

Scaramouche

Scaramouche thinks your little obsession is laughable at best. The concept of human cuisine is not exactly something he thinks about often.

He might not always accept your little meal offers since, chances are, unless the dish is bitter to a certain degree or lacks any sweetness, he won't like it. But he still might humor you, all while teasing and judging sharply. In the off chance he is impressed, you might not even be able to tell.

"Hah... is this what you've been wasting your time on? You truly find enjoyment in slaving away in that darned room?"

La Signora

Signora would have been highly critical of what you made as well, but she would allow it, finding how you worked away amusing.

If you offered her a meal, she would sigh in an exaggerated manner, as if begrudgingly petting an insistent puppy. She decides to humor you.

"It's something, alright. Your skills would be of better use elsewhere, but I suppose it's enjoyable nonetheless."

Pantalone

Pantalone might be the only one actually against your little obsession because, honestly, why would you want to get your hands dirty? He has chefs at your beck and call, and you choose to tire yourself away in the kitchen?

He acknowledges your skill and finds it rather amusing how desperate you are, seeing all the ingredients at the disposal of the chefs. However, he truly doesn't think you should be going around filthying up the clothes he's given you. But alas, he will still eat what you offer him.

"It's good, great even, but really, my dear? The chefs would have been more than happy to make it for you if this is what you've been craving. But I suppose your stubbornness can't be helped."

Childe

Childe is actually happy about how ambitious you are when it comes to cooking. He will often use it as an excuse to drag you into family dinners and boast about your skills.

Inviting you over so your skills can be displayed to his whole family is going to become a rather recurring situation, so be prepared. He's also more than happy to gift you any kitchen supplies you need, all while not-so-subtly pushing you to help out in the kitchen.

"It turned out amazing comrade! We really need to do this more often. Teucer is still raving about the food you made!"

[wonijinjin]

doctor seventeen with a s/o who has a weak immune system

synopsis: what the title says.

word count: 0.7k | genre: fluff, humour/crack | pairings: seventeen x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of being ill

texting and contacting you every day every minute: scoups, hoshi, dk, seungkwan, dino

these guys will check up on you a lot during the daytime, several times. you can expect messages like “drink your water throughout the day, I know you haven’t been drinking much. and please eat some fruits and vegetables too, they are perfect for your daily vitamin intake.” they will also not be shy to call or facetime you to check in and see how you are doing, especially in times when you are stressed about something, like school or work. they are the type to give you multiple lectures when you get sick or injured, like a parent scolding their child for their bad behaviour. “baby I told you to take your probiotics and vitamins regularly! taking one every few days isn’t going to make your immune system stronger! consistency is key we have talked about this so many times!” even though they are quite strict about these lectures their words always come from a place of love; they hate seeing you in pain, so they feel the need to prevent these events from happening with a good and detailed health lesson from time to time. “you know I don’t want to nag all the time, but you need to listen to me darling. I don’t like the idea of you catching the flu or any virus any time soon if I can do something about it.” their nagging can get annoying sometimes though, but hey, they are trying their best to protect you from the cruel world’s treats, so you will just have to accept it.

silent protectors: woozi, wonwoo, minghao, vernon

these guys’ love language when it comes to your health is definitely subtle acts of service; they are the ones who would go out of their way in order to prepare dinner for you to have a healthy meal when they know you didn’t have good food that day, or when you ate absolute garbage throughout your busy schedule. “come here sweetheart I ordered your favourite nutritious dish, have a taste!” they would offer sweetly, seeing how tired you are from working and running errands all day. they make sure you get enough rest during busy days as well; especially mentioning sleeping enough, since good sleep is an important part of keeping yourself healthy. “that’s enough for today, okay? you’ve got to sleep to give your system time to process everything that happened to it. you cannot stay healthy if you overwork yourself sweetheart.” however, these comments are not a frequent thing, they usually keep them to themselves since they know you are a fully capable human being who knows their limits (or at least they hope so). thanks to their observing nature they approach most situations like a regular person, only using their knowledgeable medical side if absolutely necessary.

the ones who adore and baby you a lot: joshua, jeonghan, jun, mingyu

now these guys just kind of adore the fact that you need to be taken care of a little bit more carefully than some others, since they have so much love to share and give to you. they are a mix of actions and vocally emphasising what to be wary of, for example you not thinking ahead when doing certain things. “baby I love the idea of dancing in the rain, but it is literally in the middle of the night, you know how the temperature gets. cannot let my baby freeze and catch a bug now, can I?” although they would rather you didn’t get sick it is also not uncommon to see them coo at you day and night when they do need to take you under their protective wings when you are under the weather. “say ah, here comes your soup.” they would spoon-feed you every single time. “next time I will have to wrap you in bubble wrap like a baby so this becomes evitable.” another thing they like to do since they know you tend to get sick easier is wrap you up in winter, seeing the warm layers on you easing their minds knowing that the cold won’t affect you nearly as severely as without them; this way even though they aren’t there with you all the time they can be sure that you are okay.

[fatuismooches]

a lesson in cooking.

“There you are, my love!” You exclaimed as you saw Kabukimono coming into sight, holding a few packed bags. You had sent him to pick up some ingredients from your fellow villagers and the small market, as you had begun to run low on some things. You had initially planned to go too, but Kabukimono insisted on you resting while he did all the work. He was rather persistent, and you knew that he had this odd trait of needing to prove himself to you, so you couldn’t bring yourself to decline his request.

You rushed out of the house to his side, hoping to take some of the bags to alleviate him of the weight. But the puppet did not budge, only pouting. “Don’t worry about me, [Name]. I can handle this by myself,” he stated, trying to seem as serious as possible, but his pouting, chubby squeezable cheeks didn’t help his case. You had to settle for supporting his back as he climbed up the stairs to your house and rested the bags on the kitchen table, trying not to chuckle as he not so secretly let out a sigh of relief.

You had decided to teach Kabukimono one of the simplest yet most nutritious and delicious meals - soup. He had been eager lately to learn how to cook lately. Not only to learn more about humans and their activities, but it seems like he wants to help out in the village more. How cute.

After you did all the basic preparations like washing your hands and making space in the kitchen, you spoke. “Alright, the first thing we need to do is wash and cut up the produce we’re going to use,” you instructed, pulling up your sleeves. Kabukimono copied you keenly.

“Let’s do the carrots first.” After you washed and placed the carrots on the cutting board, you pondered on how you were going to do this. You never really taught something like this before… but it shouldn’t be too hard, right? Plus, your lover was an avid learner. Though diced or shaped carrots would be too hard for Kabukimono right now, so you should just go with coined ones.

“Okay, the first thing we have to do is peel the carrot. It can be a little tricky, so just watch me first,” you instructed, showing him how to peel the skin of the vegetable with the knife. The puppet watched intently with immense focus and furrowed eyebrows, and you couldn’t help but smile. “Here, now you try,” you said, handing him the knife. Kabukimono had a determined look on his face as he clumsily tried to peel the carrots, but not much progress was being made, and immediately a pout appeared on his face.

“It’s not working,” he whined, a bit discouraged already from how easily you did it, and yet he was struggling at the first step.

“You’re not going to get it on your first try. It takes practice, just like anything else,” you cooed, reassuring him. “Just keep trying, we have all day. Here, I’ll help you.” At your words, the puppet perked up again and began to repeat the process, this time with your hand gently placed on top of his, helping him use the knife to peel. Kabukimono’s reddened face had gone down by the time all the carrots were peeled. 

“Good job, baby. Now, you have to cut the top and bottom part of it, like this. And then cut the whole thing in half. See?” You demonstrated yet again and the puppet followed your actions, a bit awkwardly, but still better than the peeling.

“Now, it’s time for the actual cutting. See, just place the knife above like this, press down, and keep moving along…” you cut the carrots at a slow pace to ensure he’d do the same thing. He soon copied your movements, though it wasn’t perfect - some slices were too thin or thick, but that was alright, you assured. He was trying his best and that was what mattered.

Though you probably shouldn’t have taken your eyes off him, not even a second.

You had come to realize the puppet had no sense of danger. He would stick his hand into a fire and get surprised when it hurt. He would jump into the water and then realize he couldn’t swim. You thought his thirst for new experiences to be cute, but frequently you would worry if he hurt himself on accident. So usually, you took it upon yourself to watch the learning puppet carefully, but even you slipped up sometimes.

So when you turned around to gather some of the other ingredients, and then were greeted by the sight of Kabukimono’s bleeding finger, you mentally kicked yourself.

“Oh Kabukimono… let’s get that cleaned up,” you urged, moving his bleeding finger to a bucket of water and some soap. You begin to clean the wound while Kabukimono looked on guiltily.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized sincerely, giving you those big baby eyes that made your heart squeeze. “I just wanted to be like you, with how you cut them so fast.”

“Is that what you did? Yes, I can cut them quickly because I’ve been doing this for many years. You’ve just started so you need to take it slow,” you gently lectured. Reaching into a cabinet, you then wrapped some gauze around his injured finger. You sighed, placing a soft kiss on it.

“What was that for?” Kabukimono had a faint flush on his face. You raised your eyebrow, sensing a new opportunity for some teasing.

“It’s simply a boo-boo kiss,” you giggled. “I’m just kissing your cut so it can heal faster!” Kabukimono looked astonished and fascinated.

“Does that actually work? Actually, I feel better already!” The puppet cheered with glee.

“Of course it does. Because I love you very, very much, Kabukimono,” you finished your sentence with one more kiss to his bandaged finger and another to his forehead. “But you must take more care of yourself. I don’t want you getting hurt again, understand?” He obediently nodded and you smiled. “Now, would you like to continue or do you want to watch me finish this up?”

“I still want to help you! This is nothing for me,” he declared, puffing out his chest. You smiled and patted his head, and this time carefully supervised him as he cut up the other vegetables, meat, and whatnot.

Kabukimono and you enjoyed an eventful evening of taste testing, mixing, and experimenting. Niwa ended up coming over for some soup as well and loudly called you two an old, married couple, which you would have shouted at him for, but Kabukimono looked so pleased you didn’t have the heart to. You briefly wonder how the puppet would react to actually getting married to you. To be tied to you for eternity. You think he’d be a wonderful husband, and you already felt a deep connection to him. Hell, the two of you were eating dinner and talking about your day together every day. Was that not a prime example of what loving married couples do?

“Is it good, Kabukimono?” You inquired about the taste as the two of you sat at the kitchen table yet again. You knew he didn’t need to eat, but he should still be able to enjoy delicious food like everyone else. Kabukimono eagerly nodded.

“Your food always tastes good, [Name]!”

“It’s not just my food this time. It’s yours too,” you giggled, booping his nose gently as he blushed. “So, do you want me to feed you?” you teased.

His mouth opened and closed, speechless and unsure of what to say, until you clarified you were just joking. The puppet was a mixture of disappointment and relief as he dug into his food.

Well, you ended up having to feed him anyway, since he ended up with a slightly burnt tongue and refused to stop cuddling with you afterward, too embarrassed to face you… You’ll have to start teaching Kabukimono not to eat hot things so quickly. 

Maybe you should teach him how to make juice by squeezing fruits? There should be something for Lavender Melons, right? Well, that was for another day. Right now, you had a teary-eyed eccentric to comfort.

lesson 1. lesson 2. lesson 3. lesson 4. lesson 5. lesson 6. lesson 7. lesson 8. lesson 9. lesson 10. bonus lesson.

[riza-jes]

Luffy’s Parental figure — ACE!

Who raised Luffy and co-parented him with Sabo.

He's the guy who actually did the teenage boom and baby Luffy. Who was really the only one to be an adult to his brother for seven years. Who raised this little bugger and was there for him through hard training and after hard illnesses as well.

Ace who's an explosive head in his own right, but still cool-headed in the most precise moments of danger.

Who knows how to make chicken soup and other kinds of soups from nutritious foods because Luffy couldn't chew and swallow like normal when he was sick.

Who in the field knows how to pick out what's edible, what's poison and what's medicine, because you learn that quickly in the jungle.

Who really with bare hands will be able to build a place for a night's lodging, to make food or water and to make a trap for safety or for fresh game.

He's a man who smiles at his little bro when he's in sight and who really shows a lot of affection and attitude through touch, because Luffy always needed physical affirmation of love and gosh that kid was very touchy-feely baby.

His life centered around his little brother, who needed to be raised, preserved, and made strong.

Teenage angst and mood swings had passed him by(so nothing unusual), because Ace was already an emotional wreck, but having Luffy around was actually a good catalyzer.

Also life amidst the trash and scum had taught him very well what to avoid, i.e. roughhousing, rapes, murders, overdose deaths, the horrors that slums can hold, especially the nooks and crannies where Ace and Sabo used to sneak around.

According to one particular scene that Luffy had somehow stumbled upon (and he had witnessed the brutality and the corpses privately, but he had never seen the bodies of dead children and girls before )

Luffy had hysteria so intense that he passed out.

After that accident Ace and Sabo decided only to walk in the more lighted and more open area if necessity would lead them to the slums.

In general, Ace isn't used to violence and direct threats, although in some cases Ace remains painfully innocent and naive, especially when it comes to himself. ( unless it involves Roger, the Pirate King )

Because of the fact that Thatch almost cut to pieces a lost in life and specifically in that bar amigo who ran into Portgas and began, in Thatch's opinion, to spread his hands.

And if Ace at first reacted friendly enough on approaching of the future corpse by thinking that maybe it was one of his brothers or inhabitants of the protected area, but when the man had crossed the line with a couple of words, he was carefully folded in unconsciousness by the bar wall.

Honestly, I just want more and more of Ace's side as the man who raised a hyperactive ball of joy. And specifically the aspect of home life, which most often of course manifested itself during meals.

For example, some dishes that for example made pirates complain due to scarcity or flavor (e.g. tomato soup/onion soup, any other specific fruit/vegetable) or the beverage (compote/juice/tea of unfamiliar pickings, etc.) of specific fruits or vegetables to be consumed based on shipboard life.

So imagine the surprise of the Marco when most of the pirates booed about the nastiness of the same grated drink with greens (or search for what foods should be consumed when living on the sea and when living in the jungle) and Ace was the most calm and even nostalgic.

Because he'd made a similar thing for his little brother himself.

Part 1

Part 2

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

GREATEST HITS!

Submission 474

vocaloids (and all similar non-Yamaha-owned vocal synths) are bad. all of them.

It's a mockery of the human voice. Frye from Splatoon 3 of all things is the closest we will ever get to having any interesting vocal technique in a voice synth bank. Singing styles around the world are so interesting and take so much skill and you abandon them for a glorified MIDI file? I also blame them for the rise of AI-generated covers, because they first started the devaluing of the human voice and the usage of it as an instrument - a really boring one that will never know advanced or diverse technique. Congrats, Miku made Minecraft, now all of SpongeBob has sang Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. At least the SpongeBob characters have distinct and interesting voices.

[from follow up asks]

hello. vocaloid take submitter here.

i didn't expect my submission to gain as much traction as it did, i thought it was lukewarm at best. i thought there were more vocaloid haters out there. this is tumblr, though, so i guess not. still think vocaloid is ass though.

i will say, it might add context to my take that i myself am a singer and have natural perfect pitch. while i haven't sang in any professional capacity, i've still done some voice training and lots of lower level performances. i have very strong feelings about singing, and hold what the human voice can do in high regard.

i also have a better ear for picking up smaller things in the human voice (re: natural perfect pitch) and the difference between humans and vocaloid is extremely striking to me. no amount of tuning can make a vocaloid not sound lifeless to me, because i will never, ever hear a human voice, and instead of letting the lead of the song Not Be Vocals - which has never been a novel concept - they HAVE to put the voice bank in.

also, re: "frye isn't a voice bank dumbass", congrats! you took away something i felt was actually interesting! god i wish more people knew about more singing styles that they couldn't easily replicate!

while now i know that AI voices are not a continuation of vocaloid, sorry, still think it's bad, go to hell and learn to compose a song without lyrics.

also - still the vocaloid take submitter - to continue:

i will eventually send a link to a playlist of all of the Vocaloid songs i have ever listened to, because i am sure most of the people who think i submitted that think that i do not even know what Defoko is, or that i've heard exactly two Hatsune Miku songs. i know what Defoko is. i know she's entirely computer generated. i've listened to her voice. i still think it's bad. have any of you big shots heard of Big Al? i've listened to him. also bad. it's bad.

Submission 111

I think chicken breast is disgusting and I would rather blend it up into a shake than eat it with my teeth

It’s fast, it’s efficient, it’s nutritious if you add fruits and vegetables. It’s easy to prepare and you can drink it on the go. I need the protein but chicken breast tastes disgusting either way, and I’m tired of putting in so much effort to make the joyless rubbery meat taste good.

My friends and family are wrong, this is the future.

I see some of you not voting! That's cheating!

It's ok if you agree with neither take! Just choose the take you agree with slightly more!

Think of it like choosing the lesser of two evils!

Propaganda is always encouraged, and remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[lets-try-some-writing]

Absolutely adore seeing all the bits of writing on the bots reactions to the kiddos 🤣 Fr makes my day, just scrolling though feed and BOom your writing! So I randomly thought of the kids doing barbecues or picnics and sharing all their grubby food like Oo try this and maybe not as it’s spicy. What I mean is I’m sure the bots wouldn’t understand how human food can have so many flavours.

Glad to brighten someone's day! I am honestly startled by how enthusiastic people are about TFP bots reacting to things. I haven't gotten this many notes in like, three months. Its crazy.

Anyway, lets roll with this.

Cybertronians do have a degree of flavoring involved in their fuel. However due to the nature of energon, there is only so much flavoring that can be added before it loses its nutritional value, turns into high grade, or explodes in some fantastic display. Not to mention their ability to taste is severely limited, partially due to the simple fact that their sensory systems are more focused on external stimuli or processor function. In fact, most Cybertronians can hardly taste, if they have an intake at all. It simply isn't part of their biology. They have no need for it. Of course some get modifications in order to have a wider range of taste, and some are forged with heightened senses, but as a general rule most do not have the ability to note much.

At most they can read sweetness, bitterness, and anything that is metallic in nature. But spiciness, savory flavors, and most of the finer flavors humans experience are simply out of their range. Fueling can be enjoyable, but for most of their kind, it is merely a way to keep on going. But humanity? They eat for FUN, and that is odder than the team expected it to be.

Watching the children swap food around for the sake of flavor is... strange to the team. Seeing Miko give up what they can tell is vegetation that is highly nutritious to humans for a bag of chips soaked in all sorts of chemicals left most of them in a state of confusion. Jack offered up a sandwich, the arguably healthier dish, for a handful of gummies. Rafael passed over some sort of meat in exchange for Miko's rice. The exchange of nutrition was not orderly or equal in any way or form. Then sometimes the children would just eat each other's food without regard for the nutritional value.

The team couldn't understand it. Sure Cybertronians would trade fuel at times, but rarely was nutrition a concern. Humans swapping fuel left and right was just a tad strange. Not incomprehensible, but strange nonetheless.

Smokescreen has tried to eat human good once just to see if he could taste it. He could not taste much at all and ended up purging for the next day due to the food not going well in his tanks. Bulkhead also made an attempt once when Miko offered him food. He was stuck with cheeto dust in the grooves of his jaw for almost a week before he gave in and went to the washracks to handle it. Wheeljack made direct optic contact with Ultra Magnus and purposefully ate an apple that was offered to him, just to watch the commander squirm of course. He had to purge it all up an hour later, but watching the reactions of those around him made it worth it.

Ultra Magnus was tricked into eating human food when it was put into his energon once (by a certain wrecker). Magnus tried to hold it together, but ultimately he too ended up needing to purge. Ratchet has given the "do not eat organic fuel" speech far too many times to be happy about it.

[probablyasocialecologist]

At the heart of Blumenauer’s bill is farm subsidy reform. In the most recent iteration of the farm bill, approximately $63bn was dedicated to subsidies. These mostly benefited the largest farms and agribusinesses, with 70% of subsidy payments going to just 10% of farms, most of which produce commodity crops like soy, corn and wheat, which are often used to make animal feed, processed foods and even fuel for cars. This means that taxpayers are subsidizing processed food, but not the fruits and vegetables you buy in the grocery store – and that commodity farms have little incentive to switch to more sustainable modes of production or more nutritious foods that people will actually eat. “Most of us don’t even know that the public dollars initially designed to protect farmers and keep supply managed to feed a hungry nation in the Great Depression are now reinforcing wealthy agribusiness corporations to grow commodities that are not even meant for human consumption,” said Joshua Sewell, a policy analyst at the nonpartisan watchdog group Taxpayers for Common Sense. Farmers that grow what are called “specialty crops”, which include fruits and vegetables, usually don’t qualify for subsidies. Most of the farms excluded from subsidy payments are those using sustainable growing methods that preserve soil and benefit the climate in the long term. “It’s just maddening to me that the men and women who are working hard producing food, and particularly those that are doing so in a sustainable fashion, or who want to be involved with organics, they’re shortchanged,” Blumenauer said.

[shoku-and-awe]

Found a bag of onion skin powder??? I had no idea that this existed, but apparently it does and is very nutritious. And I am a very curious person so here we are.

The powder is very, very fine and dry (like cinnamon) but quite bitter tasting on its own. It's tasty in chicken broth, though. Adds some depth and complexity. About half a teaspoon per 200 ml is pleasant.

It's recommended as a tea, about 1 tsp per cup, which smells gorgeous but tastes really pretty terrible. I had to add powdered chicken broth (the fancy Hinaidori stuff gifted by a friend from Akita) and it is still VERY bitter. The word "acrid" comes to mind. I do feel like it must be good for my cold, though.

I will keep experimenting, maybe with half the amount the package says. They recommend it in curry rice, miso soup, nikujaga (stewed meat and potatoes), fried rice, and stir-fried vegetables, and yeah, most of that does sound pretty good. Ooooooh, just got to the end of the cup and man, the dregs are ROUGH. Almost like Chinese medicine. Oof.

[gabessquishytum]

Chef Hob is the new cook for the boarding school that Orpheus attends (Robyn attends as well with the steep tuition discount Hob gets as staff,,,,,,,one of the reasons Hob took the job). Orpheus has never tasted food the way that Mr. Hob makes it before. Everything tastes so good and interesting (the cooks at home are sooooo boring).

So when he goes home for breaks he keeps asking his dad and the cooks at home to make things taste like Mr. Hob does! Since neither Dream nor his team of live-in cooks know how to translate young teenager descriptions into food flavors, they and Orpheus are at a loss.

Dream decides to be somewhat proactive -- there is only so long he can stare at Orpheus's sad, woeful, face - next time he goes to pick Orpheus up, he asks him to introduce him to this amazing chef, Mr. Hob.

👨🏼‍🍳❤️👨🏼‍🍳🩷👨🏼‍🍳

It's the beginning of break and Hob is in the kitchen, with Robyn, working in menus for the meals for the small number of kids who stay on campus during the break (Hob hates how some of these rich parents treat their kids, leaving them alone over a holiday period at a mostly empty school. It's horrible.) Hob tries to make the foods especially fun for the left behind kids,,,,even planning some meals where the kids can cook with him. There's a reason all the kids think Mr. Hob is cool.

Any way, Hob and Robyn are in the school kitchen together (Hob is forever grateful that his boy still likes to hang with his old man.) when the most beautiful man walks into the kitchen. He's being pulled along by a kid Hob recognizes, Orpheus.

Orpheus shyly introduces his father to Hob (who happens to be staring at Hob as much as Hob is staring at him). Dream didn’t think school "lunch ladies" were allowed to be as attractive as Mr. Hob.

Alsksjdhsbav such a great au concept!!! I love it!!!!

Hob ends up showing Orpheus's dad around the kitchen, plus showing him the menus he's been planning out. Dream is suddenly acting like food is the most interesting thing in the world to him - Orpheus is very confused, because his dad would totally live off pizza rolls if he didn't have cooks making his meals. But he shrugs it off and goes to join Robyn making brownies. Orpheus enjoys baking - when he's not busy with his music, he does his best to attend the fun baking club that Mr Hob runs for the students at weekends.

Meanwhile, Hob is rambling on about the nutritious foods he likes to make for the kids, how he's really passionate about fostering a healthy relationship with food while they're young... Dream is hanging off his every word as Hob talks about the different dietary restrictions he caters for, how he got really into vegan food because of the kids, how he'd like to do more in the community but he doesn't have time to do much except occasionally run a charity bakesale. Dream thinks he is the most beautiful and interesting man in the entire world.

Eventually Hob gives Dream a copy of his recipe folder to take home, and he must see the way Dream looks a little bit helpless, because he laughs and offers to give a quick 'cooking 101' demonstration. Dream does not mention that they have chefs at home who could handle the recipes. He's too busy watching Hob dismantle an onion. Dream has never wanted to be a vegetable so much in his entire life.

Orpheus glances over, and even with his limited worldly experience, he can see that his dad is totally whipped for Mr Hob. Orpheus thinks that this is a good thing. For a start, maybe his dad will start eating better. And even better, if they start dating, Mr Hob will come over to their house and Orpheus will get to eat his cooking! He needs to encourage this relationship as much as possible. (And hey. It would be cool to see Robyn more, too. He makes GREAT brownies.)

[sirenjose]

Analysis of the Food/Diet of the Lower Class in the Victorian era

(It was a bit tricky for me to find sufficiently detailed answers about the time and group I was looking for, as I wanted a bit more than the basics. Apologies for any mistakes)

Bread was a staple of the lower-class diet, such as wholemeal, rye bread, unleavened bread (like oatcakes), etc.. For the poor, it was often made of cheap-quality flour and likely denser than modern bread.

These could be supplemented with whatever vegetables that were cheapest as well as locally available at that time of year. Onions were among the cheapest (half penny for a dozen, cheaper if they were bruised) and available all year. They were more expensive in late spring, at which point they could be substituted by leeks. Watercress was another cheap staple (halfpenny for 4 bunches from April to January/February) and were regularly eaten at breakfast. Cabbage was cheap and easily available, along with broccoli, with lettuce and radishes available in summer. Carrots and turnips were inexpensive staples, especially in winter, and they along with cabbage were often used in stews and soups.

As for fruit, apples were the cheapest and most commonly available (from August to May). Cherries were also fairly cheap (from May to July). Pears, blackberries, and plums were available throughout autumn. Then there were gooseberries, plums and greengages (in late September), raspberries, and strawberries. Not all fruits were affordable, like oranges, which were imported from Spain in winter but were expensive and often given as gifts, and pineapples, which were a sign of wealth.

Potatoes were another staple and were prepared in various ways, including boiled, mashed, roasted, or fried. They grew well in Britain’s mild weather, making them easy to produce and sell, meaning they were cheap and thus became a frequent meal.

In terms of meat, the lower class ate it infrequently, maybe once a week, with the worst off even less often. Pork was 1 of the most common types of meat, when it could be afforded.

As a result, the poor made the most of it (using and eating every part of it). For example, a cook would boil a piece of beef or mutton with vegetables one day (probably Sunday, the only day many people had off from work), then return to the boiling pot the next day and skim the fat off from the top to be used for frying or pie crusts. Then he or she could set the liquid back to boiling, adding a stingy amount of oatmeal (one recipe recommends a tablespoon of oatmeal for every pint of liquid) to produce another nourishing meal from the broth. Recipes call it a pot liquor soup; we’d more likely call it gruel.

Gruel, made by boiling grains, like oats, rice, or barley, in water or milk, was a common food option for the poor as it required minimal ingredients and was easy to prepare. It often served as a breakfast or basic meal.

Porridge refers to a thicker and more substantial version of cooked grains, usually oats, in water or milk. It was typically cooked for a longer amount of time, resulting in a creamier and heartier consistency. It was also a popular breakfast choice due to it being nutritious and filling.

They tended to buy cuts and trimmings of meat no one else wanted, which were referred to as “block ornaments”. Examples included sheep’s organs, shanks, gristly bits, and heads. Most of these cuts were tough or didn’t have much meat on them, but they could produce a filling broth. Tripe (lining of stomach of animals like cattle, sheep, and pig), liver, meat on the bone (shin or cheek), and offal (aka organ meats like brains, hearts, sweetbreads, liver, kidneys, lungs, and intestines) were also cheap.

Chicken was rare, as the birds were kept for eggs, and usually not eaten unless the bird stopped laying eggs.

Later in the Victorian era, bacon became a popular choice at breakfast (alongside kippers aka a type of fish made from herring, eggs, and porridge).

Drippings was another common part of the lower class diet. Drippings refer to the fat that is collected as a result of cooking meat. When meat, such as beef, pork, or poultry, is roasted or grilled, the fat present in the meat melts and drips down into the pan or tray. This fat is then collected and saved, typically in a container or jar, for later use. They add flavor and richness to dishes and are commonly used for making gravies, sauces, or to enhance the flavor of roasted vegetables, as a few examples.

Since meat was a luxury, the lower class tended to go for cheaper proteins, like eggs and legumes.

Many East End homes kept hens in their backyards, with a couple hens able to produce up to a dozen eggs per home per week. Hard cheeses like cheddar was produced countrywide and so available all year round, meaning it was able to enter the diet of the lower class. It was a good protein, kept well, and even stale it could be eaten toasted with bread.

Regarding legumes (ex: beans, peas, peanuts, lentils, etc…), they were a cost-effective source of protein, fiber, and nutrients. Dried legumes were more affordable and available all year round. Beans (good from July to September) were a staple for many lower class, often cooked in stews, soups, or baked dishes. Peas (affordable from June to July) and lentils were also commonly consumed.

In terms of drinks, tea was very common. It became more affordable with the help of increased trade, improved transportation, and advancements in production methods. The poor drank tea that tended to be weaker, as they reused the tea leaves several times before disposing of them. Black tea was common, the most popular being those imported from countries like China and India.

Milk was widely consumed but not usually in large quantities, due to cost and adulteration fears (aka fear of contamination). Beer was also common (made with low alcohol content so you didn’t get drunk), even for women and older children, as water wasn’t safe to drink back them (easily contaminated, but the brewing process killed off the germs). Coffee was another option, but it tended to be more expensive than tea, beer, or milk.

Sugar became cheaper at least after 1874, but still tended to be relatively expensive, especially for those on lower incomes. Thus it remained more of a luxury item and consumed in mostly smaller quantities or for special occasions.

Butter, like sugar, would’ve also been considered a relatively expensive item, and thus not as widely consumed. Instead, they used cheaper options of fat, like lard and dripping.

Nuts were another slightly more expensive item. But there were some options if a poorer individual could afford them. Chestnuts were the most common (favorite street snack in chestnut season, running from September to January). There were also filberts and hazelnuts (available from October to May) and walnuts (seasonal). Imported almonds and brazil nuts were more expensive, but commonly consumed around Christmas as a “treat”.

Even if they could afford things like sugar, butter, or nuts, the lower class likely would’ve typically used their income on more basic necessities and things they needed for their job or life.

Individuals were paid on Saturday, and that plus the absence of refrigeration affected the weekly menu. It’s possible the lower class at least may have possessed basic cooking utensils, like a skillet, pot, or kettle. The ‘best’ and relatively most expensive meals were taken on Saturday evening and Sunday, though the poorest would often buy food at the end of Saturday trading, at the cheapest possible prices. Menu choices became cheaper through the week: purchases of food would diminish in quantity as the food budget shrank, and meat would often only be purchased once a week, though vegetables and fruit were usually purchased and consumed on a daily basis.

The very poor might purchase cheaper older fruits, vegetables, and meat on the verge of edibility, though this didn’t really diminish the nutrients in them much.

The lack of refrigeration facilities meant that meats eaten hot on any one day were almost inevitably consumed (cold) on the second day. Any more leftovers were, due to incipient spoilage, curried or hashed on the third day. Spices and the higher heat involved in frying the hash would disguise any taint to the meat and lessen the chances of food poisoning.

Men worked on average 9–10 hours per day for 5.5-6 days a week, giving a range from 50–60 hours of physical activity per week. Factoring in the walk to and from work increases the range of total hours of work-related physical activity up to 55–70 hours per week. They likely required around 5000 calories a day.

The daily wage for poor miners back then may have been around 3-4 shillings, with the weekly wage then around 18-24 shillings. In dollars, 3-4 shillings was likely around $1. In today’s money, 3-4 shillings a day may be around £4 to £5 or $5 to $6.

[tribbetherium]

The Early Temperocene: 135 million years post-establishment

Guinea Mimics: The Gwinnies

The Cavioidecricetidae, also known as the gwinnies, are a group of duskmice belonging to the same clade as the hammibals and the pondrats, though of closer relation to the pondrats than the hammibals: having diverged sometime in the Middle to Late Rodentocene. The gwinnies are primarily small herbivores, in essence having taken over the niches occupied by the basal gouties and the broadheads during the Early Rodentocene, and adapted to feed on a wide array of foliage, such as roots, leaves, stems and flowers of the various grasses and cloverferns that grow across the world. They process these plant material with the help of hindgut fermentation, allowing them to extract nutrition from even the hardest-to-digest vegetation: however, a consequence of this is that they are required to ingest their droppings a second time in order to absorb their full nutritive content. Mother gwinnies thus produce these special pellets in greater amounts in the few weeks after weaning, as these processed, nutritious pellets are usually her offsprings' introduction to consuming solid food.

Throughout their long history, the gwinnies have not become as diverse as most other duskmice clades, but have persisted nearly across the globe in various niches of "small herbivorous rodent" in many different biomes. Breeding all year round, and producing relatively well-developed young per litter that are born fully-furred and open their eyes in a week or two, they, like most other duskmice, are rather low in most food chains and fear many predators, and thus defend themselves by digging burrows, hiding in crevices, and generally reproducing in large numbers to ensure the survival of a few.

One of the most abundant species in the Temperocene is the common grey rockcavy (Griseocavicricetus vulgaris) which is found throughout temperate regions, primarily in mountainous areas with plentiful small gaps among cliffs and ledges for it to seek shelter in. A nocturnal species with small eyes, it prefers to emerge under cover of dark, finding food with the aid of its powerful sense of smell and sensitive whiskers, and gorging itself all evening before retreating to its den by morning, with a stash of additional food it carries in its cheek pouches in order to feed on while seeking shelter during the day when predators abound.

In tropical forests, meanwhile, one may find a similar yet quite different relative: the forest polka (Punctocavicricetus pardus). This species, in contrast, is active during the day, and scampers about the forest floors of tropical jungle on its relatively-long legs, foraging for the low-growing shrubs and cloverferns found in the ground level and the understory. Here, there is abundant cover among the plants, tree roots and fallen logs, and its primary camouflage comes in the form of pale blotches on its body that mimic the speckled, dappled light on the forest floor, breaking up its outline and making it more difficult to see when it freezes in place to hide from threats. In addition to leaves and stems, the polka also relishes fallen fruit dropped from the canopy: making it an important seed-disperser that scatters tree seeds far and wide in places that are favorable for them to sprout.

In open deserts and arid semidesert, in the meantime, during the times when Beta alone in the sky casts the landscape in a brilliant red, the red sandscur (Erythrocavicricetus rubrus) emerges from its den to search for food. Like many animals in the desert, it avoids the searing rays of Alpha by emerging at a period of time when its dimmer, cooler twin instead reigns the sky. As the presence of a red secondary sun has favored the evolution of trichromat vision in many lineages, including predators, so too have prey evolved to hide under these conditions, with red-colored fur originating from erythrism: an unusual increase of red pigment in an animal's pelage that with Beta-twilight as a regular phenomenon became an unexpected survival advantage and thus became the normal state of many species. Well-concealed in the crimson light, the red sandscur is hardly conspicuous as it searches out desert succulents both as a source of food and water.

Most gwinnies of the Temperocene are quite conservative in build, having changed little from their early ancestors, but one significant exception dwells on a small chain of islands between the continents of South Ecatoria and Arcuterra: the Bridge Isles rabbibara (Lepocavicricetus albacauda). The largest of the gwinnies, at roughly twelve kilograms, it grew to such large sizes due to the isolation of its habitat from the mainland, and in the absence of competition grew to an enormous size, comparatively speaking. With its only threats being aerial ones from opportunistic predatory ratbats, it simply grew too large to be carried away by them, and while young may be occasionally vulnerable, adults face little threat and are generally unfazed as they graze on the abundant grasses in the Bridge Isles. The rabbibara, while continuing to survive well into the Middle Temperocene, would find its range restricted to the two northmost islands as its populations disappeared in the southernmost ones due to a period of unstable fluctuations in local food availability. Its absence in those areas, however, would favor a far stranger creature to take its place and become the dominant herbivore of the isles: the zeebeedee (Megalornithomys spp.), a grazing pterodent that, in the absence of predators, also grew to enormous proportions and abandoned its flight entirely.

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[dorabledewdroop]

Pretty little brat

I wanted to write a nice short story smut but my mom is staring at me from across the rooms so I'm pretending to work.

Warning: Smut, thigh riding, fingering, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms.

X--X--X--X--X

I just wanted to write about how Reader comes home to find grumpy Wanda.

Upon asking what their kitten wants for dinner all Wanda replies with is a huff and cold states that she'll be having macaroni and cheese.

"That's not the healthiest thing, kitten. How about we have something more nutritious? Vegetable lasagna sound good?" you ask, reigning in your frustration.

It was well known that you weren't the most patient person in the world and that if Wanda pushed you too hard, she'd have trouble sitting for weeks.

This time, however, Wanda didn't seem to care.

"I don't give a fuck about what's nutritious or not. I said I want Mac and cheese so you'll make me some fucking Mac and cheese." Wanda replied loudly.

Snap

You grabbed her by her collar and shoved her against the wall. You felt her breath hitch.

"Colour?" You asked

"Green" She whispered breathlessly. The gorgeous forest green of her eyes almost completely gone.

"Good girl for being honest" You whispered, nibbling at her earlobe.

You stepped back.

"Bedroom. Now." You commanded.

Within a second Wanda ran towards the bedroom, you decided to ignore how she practically skipped into the bedroom.

You waited in the hall, deciding to clean up the kitchen a little.

Eventually you strolled to the bedroom. You smirked upon seeing Wanda completely bare, sitting on her ankles with her palms against her thighs. Her eyes remained on the floor. Good. She knew she fucked up.

She looked at you innocently causing you to scoff.

You walked up to her, grabbed her throat and squeezed lightly. Smirking as you saw her eyes flutter and breath become shallower.

"You worthless little slut." You spat. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

She had the audacity to look at you in the eye and whisper "You"

Raising an eyebrow you threw her backwards. You slowly removed your clothes, leaving you in your lingerie. You noticed Wanda staring at your chest and not-so-subtly trying to rub her thighs together.

You slapped the fleshy part of her inner thigh causing Wanda to yelp.

"Shut up" you fumed

"If you act like a brat. Then I will treat you as such." You said, sitting down on the bed.

"Over my lap. Now" you commanded

She bent over, you almost groaned at the sight. God she was already dripping.

"Look at you making a mess on my thighs. You must have been so needy the entire day? Is that why you're acting like a brat? Because mommy wasn't there to take care of you?" You asked, rubbing those delicious cheeks. She merely whimpered

You slapped her ass causing her to yelp.

"Speak when spoken to, slut." You spat.

"Yes mommy" she said.

"Full sentences" You ordered.

She took a deep breath and continued "I'm sorry for acting bratty, mommy. I was a desperate little slut. Your desperate little slut. I acted out because I was needy and mommy wasn't here to take care of me. I'm so sorry mommy, please punish me for being bad. I'm sorry " You noticed her voice cracked as she finished her confession.

Immediately you had her straddle your thigh and your heart broke as you saw her defeated expression

You cupped her face with both your hands as you slowly stroked her cheeks. Unshed tears finally came out.

"You're not a bag girl, my love" you cooed. "Never a bad girl".

She looked at you uncertainly.

"A bratty pain in my ass? Sure" You continued.

She chuckled.

Looking at her adoringly, you slowly leaned in for a kiss. Humming softly, she kissed you back. You deepened the kiss as her arms wrapped around your neck, pulling you closer. You licked her lips asking for permission, one she readily gave. Your tongues fought for dominance for a while. Apparently her attitude not completely gone, something you whole heartedly loved. That fire within her was something you craved. Eventually, like always, you won. She moaned as she shifted slightly. When air became necessary you pulled back to see her hooded eyes looking at you. You didn't fail to notice the way her hips were slowly moving against your thigh. Smirking as a plan began to form in your head. You looked her in the eye and kissed her cheek. Grabbing her hips and pulling her down on your thigh harder.

She let out a surprised moan.

"Go ahead and make yourself feel good for mommy" You urged.

Nodding her head she moved her hips faster, grunting and panting.

A few moments later she tensed, her rhythm erratic. However she didn't slow down. Groaning she looked at you desperately.

"What's wrong baby? Can't make yourself cum without mommy's help?" you asked with faux sympathy.

Biting her lip she continued to rut against your thigh but nodded weakly.

You tilted your chin upwards, letting go of your grip on her hips. Try as she might, she wasn't able to maintain the rhythm and she looked at you pleadingly.

Smirking you gave a simple command. "Beg."

Immediately she spoke "Please mommy, please make me feel good. I can't cum without your help. Please mommy I'll be your good girl. I won't be a brat ever again just let me cum please"

Not bad, you thought.

You grabbed her hips and started dragging them along your thigh. She let out a breathy moan. You continued, slowly increasing the pace.

Her moans got louder and louder, her hands gripped your shoulder tight enough that you knew it'd leave marks the very next day.

The moment you angled her hips a little differently and tensed your thigh, she let out a shriek. Cumming all over your thigh. Not stopping until she stopped moving against you.

"Thank you mommy" She slurred, resting her head against your shoulder.

You let out a chuckle. "Oh darling girl, we've just begun"

Her eyes shot open at that, arousal already pooling deep in her belly.

You laid her down gently against the bed and slowly kissed her. She hurriedly removed your bra and panties.

"Someone's desperate for another" you noted.

She looked at you sheepishly "just wanna feel you" She mumbled.

You smiled. "Then feel me, you will."

You pressed your body against hers and slowly kissed up and down her neck. She let out a gasp as you kissed a particularly sensitive point. Her nails dug into your back as you inched lower, slowly paying attention to her breasts. A particular tug on her nipple caused her to let out a filthy moan.

"Please mommy" She pleaded. "Taste me, please"

You hummed in approval as you made your way down further.

Finally you witnessed her glorious wetness. You groaned as you licked a stripe up her pussy. She let out a loud whine, begging for more.

You slowly inserted your tongue inside her.

"Yes. Oh my fucking god yes. fuck. that feels so good" She breathed as you fucked her with your tongue, occasionally curling your tongue.

She let out a pornographic moan when you moved to suck her clit. Her hands gripping the sheets as her eyes squeezed shut.

You quickly inserted two fingers inside her and curled them against that sweet spot.

"FUCK. YES" She screamed, her back arched and her eyes rolling back.

She started babbling about not wanting you to ever stop as you increased your pace. The bed moving with how hard you were fingering her.

Her moans turned to screams the closer she got.

You knew she was at the precipice when her entire body tensed. You also knew what she was waiting for.

"Come for me, baby" You said and dove back to suck and lick her clit.

Her body shuddered, hips canting up as she let out screams of your name.

When she finally came down, you kissed her pussy gently, causing her to jerk a little.

You leaned forward and kissed her lips, she hummed against you as she tasted herself.

"Come on baby, let's have a bath." You said gently

She merely whined and cuddled further into you.

"Can't feel m'legs" she mumbled against your neck.

You chuckled.

"5 more minutes and then I'll pick you up and we'll relax in the bath, okay?"

She hummed in agreement and somehow managed to nuzzle further into you.

God the things you would do for this girl.

X--X--X--X--X

This is my first ever time writing detailed smut!

Please let me know how I did!

Hope you enjoyed