#mormonandgay

[nerdygaymormon]

You posted that Ben is now open to dating and romantic relationships, but you didn't share any thoughts about it. Does it bother you that someone like you is choosing to not honor the rules of the church?

I'm glad Ben shared with people about his decision. I think after being well-known for saying he will be single & celibate forever, it's good that he's transparent that he's shifted.

For me as a queer Latter-day Saint, it does not bother me that other queer people make their own choices to do what is healthy for themselves. Reconciling your queer orientation with your religious identity is hard. Doing so in the spotlight is even harder.

Over the course of a year, David Archuleta announced he's stepping away from the Church, Charlie Bird got married, and now Ben Schilaty announced he's dating. About 2 years ago Tom Christofferson announced that he's dating.

This has happened many times before, such as when most of the profiles of queer members on the website mormonandgay were removed because they'd fallen in love and left the church. Over and over, a similar story and a similar outcome.

If we can't keep these good people who try their best to make this work, it says a lot about what is being required of them. I think this continual turnover of even its most visible and beloved queer icons signals that something is just not right with the Church’s position on LGBTQ+ matters.

FYI, for the anon's benefit, you shouldn't assume that I don't date and am not open to romantic relationships.

[ssamovie]

Wow! Check out @appletv’s Recent Discoveries! ——— #ssamovie #mormon #gaymovies #gaymovie #lgbtmovie #queerfilm #lds #byu #mormonandgay #mormonism #church #latterdaysaints #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #apple #documentary #recentdiscoveries #appletv #itunes #film #filmmaking #gocougs #utah #utahfilm #utahfilmawards @utahfilm @usgabyu @theoutfoundation @outmagazine @npr @doug_fabrizio 🔴🟡🔵 (at BYU) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMQ5YPZBwJY/?igshid=193tto6mnl79m

[gaymarriedandmormon]

Goodreads summary:

Three years ago, Tanner Scott’s family relocated from California to Utah, a move that nudged the bisexual teen temporarily back into the closet. Now, with one semester of high school to go, and no obstacles between him and out-of-state college freedom, Tanner plans to coast through his remaining classes and clear out of Utah.

But when his best friend Autumn dares him to take Provo High’s prestigious Seminar—where honor roll students diligently toil to draft a book in a semester—Tanner can’t resist going against his better judgment and having a go, if only to prove to Autumn how silly the whole thing is. Writing a book in four months sounds simple. Four months is an eternity.

It turns out, Tanner is only partly right: four months is a long time. After all, it takes only one second for him to notice Sebastian Brother, the Mormon prodigy who sold his own Seminar novel the year before and who now mentors the class. And it takes less than a month for Tanner to fall completely in love with him...

[organicfishass]

Just in case any of you want a glimpse into how terrifyingly brain-washing serving an LDS mission is:

I consistantly self-harmed while serving, (very discreetly, so that my companions wouldn't notice) yet the thing that filled me with enough fear and guilt and worry that I sought help from my Mission President was the fact that I'm gay. So.

[nerdygaymormon]

The OP makes an excellent point. The LDS Church often focuses on people with “same-sex attraction,” aka gays & bisexuals, to the exclusion of all other queer identities.

I have a couple points to make about this particular quote.

1) In Oct 2016 the LDS church revised its mormonandgay website. On the home page they put a video by Elder Whitney L. Clayton with a message that LGB members are loved and welcomed. The quote is from that video.

The mormonandgay website specifically excluded the T in LGBT, because gender identity is different from sexual attraction. The quote was directed specifically at lesbian, gay & bi members of the church. Even though they made a point of saying this website is about sexual attractions, they didn’t have a similar website about gender identity, there was no mormonandtrans website

2) When I first saw video where Elder Whitney L. Clayton says this, I about gagged. Elder Clayton “helped lead the church's support for Proposition 8,” which ended marriage equality in California in 2008. According to leaked documents, Elder M. Russel Ballard, Elder Quentin L Cook, and Elder Whitney L Clayton were the 3 primary organizers of the LDS Church’s opposition to Prop 8. The first 2 are apostles located at church HQ in Salt Lake City, Elder Clayton was a Seventy and the point man on the ground in California. He didn’t seem like the right choice to be telling queer people that we’re welcome at church after working so hard to strip rights from us.

3) For decades the LDS Church thought of being gay and being trans as the same or similar. For a long time they’d describe being gay as someone who is confused about their gender, that a gay woman felt like she was a man and that’s why she’s attracted to women. 

Let’s just say the LDS Church remained willfully ignorant about gay & trans issues for a long time, it would not accept the norms & standards of scientific and medical research, the Church felt it knew better.

The Church now recognizes trans people and in the latest version of the general handbook says, “Members and nonmembers who identify as transgender—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and an abundance of Christlike love. All are welcome to attend sacrament meeting, other Sunday meetings, and social events of the Church.” 

The Handbook isn’t all welcoming & good news as it lists restrictions on what is acceptable for trans members to do, including any form of transitioning, and consequences for transitioning. 

Can I express a frustration real quick?

K thanks I assume you're okay with this

Sometimes I'll read things written by Church* members or whatever that are saying great, welcoming things about gay people and lesbian people and bi people, for example: “I now speak directly to Church members who experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. … We want you to be part of our congregations. You have great talents and abilities to offer God’s kingdom on earth, and we recognize the many valuable contributions you make." -some human named Elder Whitney L. Clayton

That's nice and inviting, right?

But

Where in there does it include the trans people? The transmen and the transwomen and the demigirls and demiboys and the genderfluid people and the nonbinary people and the agender people???

Where is our invitation?

And where does it include the asexuals and the aromantics? The people who don't want relationships or maybe don't want them in the 'traditional' way??

We do not all boil down to being gay

Be more inclusive please

*If you're confused, I'm talking about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-days Saints here. Also formerly known as the Mormon Church

[nerdygaymormon]

Didn’t Elder Bednar make a comment in one of his talks or youth firesides saying church members shouldn’t be calling themselves “gay” and that it’s more appropriate to say “same-sex attracted?”

In a March 2016 Face-to-Face broadcast, this question was asked, "How can homosexual members of the church live and remain steadfast in the gospel?"

in response, Elder Bednar replied, "First I want to change the question – there are no homosexual members of the church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior."

As he continued speaking, he mentioned people who "have an inclination to be attracted to those of the same sex."

It was a very tone-deaf answer.

In fairness to Elder Bednar, he was sticking to the approach the church had which was not to use the words gay or homosexual. The idea is that this is not who you are or a part of you or an enduring aspect of your spirit, instead it's a trial of the flesh and it's like having a disability or an addiction.

Later that year in October 2016, the church's mormonandgay website said it's okay to use the labels Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual, while the website still primarily used the term "experience same-sex attraction."

It may not be fair, but Elder Bednar comes across to me as strict without much compassion and that was exemplified in his answer back in 2016. He didn't acknowledge the heart of the question, that what is asked of queer members is difficult. Instead of offering encouragement or empathy, he instead made a big deal about what language queer people should or shouldn't use to identify themselves.

[ssamovie]

Wow! Check out @appletv’s Recent Discoveries! ——— #ssamovie #mormon #gaymovies #gaymovie #lgbtmovie #queerfilm #lds #byu #mormonandgay #mormonism #church #latterdaysaints #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #apple #documentary #recentdiscoveries #appletv #itunes #film #filmmaking #gocougs #utah #utahfilm #utahfilmawards @utahfilm @usgabyu @theoutfoundation @outmagazine @npr @doug_fabrizio 🔴🟡🔵 (at BYU) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMQ4xOrBl6T/?igshid=yu9poisyhg9j

[fantasmicdisneynerd]

Cisgender gay man here and i would highly recommend using the videos on the MormonandGay website as a springboard for the lesson. The majority of members that aren’t within the community won’t have seen them and it helps orient the lesson around how we can help members like this woman or man here feel welcome and included within the Gospel and Church of Jesus Christ. But also make sure to also remind them that just like how we all have different paths to the celestial kingdom that God knows works best with us, there is no one size fits all solution to help LGBTQ members and that’s where divine revelation, vulnerability and ministering field by charity come in.

I used one of those videos in my lesson in Elders Quorum on ministering and it opened up such beautiful dialogue. Follow the Spirit and make sure every thing ties back to Christ and the scriptures and His Atonement and the Lord will help you craft this lesson to wonderfully engage your brothers and sisters and helping them seeing their LGBTQ members in a new light

Hey y'all Queerstake

So since now we get to pick what we want lessons on and class members are supposed to teach lessons sometimes, I volunteered to teach a lesson on understanding and loving LGBT members. The Young Women president says she thinks it’s a good idea but she wants to check with the rest of the presidency and maybe the bishop or whatever before giving me the green light, so I’m not positive I’ll be able to do it yet, but if I do - I was wondering if y'all had any suggestions about stuff I could say. I’m cisgender and bisexual, so I’m less familiar with the struggles of transgender, homosexual, asexual, etc. people, so stuff about that would be welcome. Also, if you guys could tell me things you really hate hearing from cishet members and why, that’d be awesome too. You can message me, or send asks, or comment or reblog this post, whatever. Thank you so much!

[gaymarriedandmormon]

It is customary to blame secular science and anti-religious philosophy for the eclipse of religion in modern society. It would be more honest to blame religion for its own defeats. Religion declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, dull, oppressive, insipid. When faith is completely replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when the crisis of today is ignored because of the splendor of the past; when faith becomes an heirloom rather than a living fountain; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rather than with the voice of compassion-- its message becomes meaningless.

Abraham Heschel, God in Search of Man

[nerdygaymormon]

An update from Jessyca who was featured on the mormonandgay website

She’s found love!

Her video has been removed from the mormonandgay website. There’s not many personal story videos left on that page. 

This video, which should be so joyful, is mostly her acknowledging that she’s letting down some people who saw her as an example that gays could live the church lifestyle.

She’s pretty courageous

[ssamovie]

Looking for more Mormon & Gay content produced by LGBTQ individuals? Check out this Latter-Day Lesbian Podcast with fun and friendly hosts Mary & Shelly. All of their stuff is a hoot n' a holler, but in this latest episode they also graciously mention our film! ❤️ PLUS, starting today, we will be turning around and giving 10% of every donation to our film to our friends at USGA, the off-campus group of LGBT BYU students who work tirelessly (on their own) to provide "a safe space for open, respectful conversation on LGBTQ & SSA topics." We are getting more and more excited about finishing this long-standing film project in the next few months! If you'd like to support our film and help us finish it and get it out there, go to www.SSAmovie.com/support and click through to the Utah Film Center's online donation portal. All donations are tax-deductible, and 10% of all donations to our film from now through #PrideMonth will go to the much-deserving students at USGA! And thanks again, Mary and Shelly! 🏳️‍🌈 -- #LGBT #byu #gay #mormon #lds #mormonandgay #queer #lgbtq #pride #slcpride #utah #film #ssamovie #ssa #brighamyounguniversity #utahfilm #documentary #latterdaysaints #mormon #gocougs (at Salt Lake County, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxsJS8Hhf0n/?igshid=5rsh2m7or26y

[ssamovie]

Two days ago, LDS leader (Apostle) Jeffrey R. Holland spoke at good ol' BYU with nothing but chastisement and words of aggression; towards queer-affirming faculty and staff, towards active members with progressive-leaning politics, and even towards one queer individual: Matt Easton (who we are delighted to report is handling the situation wonderfully) (the one who was on Ellen). The intolerance of #Queer / #LGBT / #SSA individuals within #Mormonism is not new. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has an extensive and well-documented history of anti-lgbt rhetoric and action, but there is good news: there is ALSO an extensive history of pro-lgbt stories and triumphs in our ever-growing community! In 2020, in the middle of the #pandemic, we officially released our film Same-Sex Attracted. "Same-Sex Attracted" is a feature documentary about the #LGBTQ communities around #BYU and the students on campus. As fellow students (and then alumni) ourselves, we the filmmakers were able to invite then-current students to share their heartwrenching stories with the world in the hopes of spreading accurate awareness of the harsh realities of being #Queer in a toxic religious culture such as the one at BYU. "Same-Sex Attracted" (2020) is available to watch on multiple streaming platforms online. Visit our website or click the link below to watch and learn more about what it's like to be Queer at the Lord's University. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12615012/?ref_=tt_urv ____________ #byu #LoveNotMuskets #ssamovie #lgbtq #queer #gay #lgbtqia #ssa #lds #mormon #latterdaysaints #ldschurch #mormonandgay @gravitasventures @amazonprimevideo @tubi @imdb #queerfilm (at BYU) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBtTZNrpqY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ssamovie]

This is a sneak peek into what it’s like being Queer at @brighamyounguniversity. We are seen as scary antagonists. We are actually beautiful and kind protagonists. There is no empathy for the LGBT community in these flyers. Watch our film to gain some empathy. ________ #byu #lgbtq #gaymovies #gaymovie #lgbtmovie #queerfilm #lgbtmovie #queerpodcast #film #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #gay #mormon #mormonandgay #lds #latterdaylesbian #latterdaysaints #latterdaysaint #churchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #family #proclamation #proclamationtotheworld #ldsproclamation #mormons #brighamyoung #protectfamilies (at BYU) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL8QQyqhhMJ/?igshid=ecwdz292jf54

[ssamovie]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by "Same-Sex Attracted" Movie (@ssamovie)

Cheers, mate! Thank you @melbqueerfilmfest for being selected as a Finalist. We’re honored to be a part of your community! #aussie _____ #gaymovies #gaymovie #mqff #ssamovie #lgbtmovie #queerfilm #byu #lds #mormon #mormonandgay #lgbtq #queer #latterdaylesbian #latterdaysaints #gocougs #film #filmmaking #doc #documentary #indie (at BYU) https://www.instagram.com/p/CL7dix6hCpI/?igshid=bob6asp2ta8m

[ssamovie]

More good news! In case you haven’t already heard, @affirmation.lds is now hosting our film “SAME-SEX ATTRACTED” through the rest of their international conference (ends Oct. 4th)! Students can register for $15 for the entire conference and see the film that way, or you can apply for a scholarship! This is great news for anyone who hasn’t seen the film yet and wants to watch it before it is available online (which we will hopefully have more info about soon!) Stay safe everyone ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 #lgbt #ssamovie #byu #gocougs #queer #mormon #gay #lgbtq #lds #mormonandgay (at Salt Lake City, Utah) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFQABGKBSEc/?igshid=119h4g19zq0f9

[ssamovie]

Check out our mention on the latest Mormon Stories Podcast episodes! Our Producer and her family were featured talking about their experience growing up Mormon, their faith transitions, and Maddy's coming out while at BYU. (P.S. "Same-Sex Attracted" comes up in episode #1122) ---- #ssamovie #byu #lds #mormon #gay #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #mormonandgay #brighamyounguniversity #comingout #pridemonth #pride #gaypride #film #documentary #samesex #samesexattracted #movie #latterdaysaints #thechurchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints #saints #podcast #podcasts (at Davis, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByZBTM6BDZ2/?igshid=5mab9y1bu0an