#more photos of this set incoming because im SO EXCITED and i love it so much

[lemontartc]

What Hissfits 3-pack Tori looks like with her purple streaks removed (and restyled lol) for anyone curious! I used tweasers to pull them out a few strands at a time and it was quick and easy. It's pretty obvious IRL so I wouldn't try it unless you're planning to reroot her (like I am). You could easily add another black streak there without having to worry about colour-matching it, though! She also has a soft pink underside at the base of her neck that I didn't notice until I had her in hand and doesn't really show up in pictures. I'm pretty sure her hair is saran and it's actually super soft, the best hair I've ever felt on a doll honestly and usually I'm not a saran fan because I don't like the greasiness.

[writers-hes]

christmas record.

hello! thank you so much for reading cherry, falling, and late christmas. if you haven’t read them yet, you could do so by clicking the link here. 

if you want to be a part of my taglist, you can do so by clicking this link. 

this is a fluffy christmas fic and even though christmas is done, i hope you enjoy it! this is my longest fic yet, with 6785 words! how cool is that? anyways, read and enjoy! send me feed back and requests, i really appreciate them :) 

HAPPY 100+ FOLLOWERS I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

warning: unedited ! i was rushing to post this before christmas but i’ll be going over my fics soon to edit everything. thank you! 

------------

you were a photographer. you liked going to free shows around town, taking pictures of everyone in it. you liked how music swayed them and made them live in the moment. photography was your way of immortalising that fleeting moment. still, you weren’t as successful as other photographers to make it as your main source of income and that was okay. as long as you get to share your art with an audience, you knew you were doing something. you were on a break from your shift at baskin robbins when your phone notified that you just received a message.

helenepamburn.photography: Hello i just want to say i absolutely love your work!!

your phone read. helene pemburn was a photographer you’ve never heard of before. you decided to look at her instagram and check out her work and damn, it is amazing. it seems as though her muse was harry styles, your best friend’s favourite male artist. you have listened to his songs before, even downloaded his first album and he was good.

35mmdiary: oh my god!! thank you so much. i love yours too!! portrait is something that i’m not entirely good at :-)

helenepamburn.photography: Im helene, by the way ! What camera set-up do you usually use? 35mmdiary: hi, helene!! i’m y/n. i usually just use a minolta xg-1 camera and i switch up on the lenses…i’m more of a film photographer than a digital one…
helenepamburn.photography: Ah! so you don’t use dlsr cameras?? 😮

35mmdiary: i do but i just take whatever photo and then edit it on lightroom…with my old presets hehehe

35mmdiary: oh im sorry i have to go i have to finish my shift!! 


the conversation ended at that at first but weeks into it and you found yourself really enjoying talking to helene. she became an instant friend, exchanging tips and tricks on photography. she would even talk about how it was touring with harry and etcetera. you wanted to meet each other soon but it was hard, seeing as your finals was right around the corner and harry releasing his new album.

———

“helene, who are you talking to? you’ve been on that phone for so long!” jeff azzof asked. it wasn’t unlike helene to type away at her phone 24/7. she was usually in her corner, editing harry’s photos for the world to see. “y/n,” she muttered. “who?” 
“i found her on instagram and she really has amazing shots! look,” helene said, showing your instagram to jeff. “and this is all film! no editing,” she praised. “oh wow, she is good,” jeff commended. “yeah, well…about that. i think i’m gonna take a break from work first,” helene started. jeff looked at her quizzically. “i know harry’s about to release his album and there’s the thing at the forum and etcetera but i think y/n is gonna be a good replacement, no?” 
“does harry know?” he asked. he was a little concerned that helene’s leave was a little sudden. sure, she’s been working hard, always going where harry was and taking photographs of him but still, it was abdrupt and it wasn’t quite what he was expecting. “ah, no not yet. i was hoping you could talk to him about it?” she shyly asked. harry’s been a ball of stress lately and helene knew that if something out of the schedule were to happen, harry would freak. “helene…” jeff warned. helene looked at him, practically begging him to go tell harry. jeff only sighed and nodded. “thank you!” she gushed. “i owe you one, big time,”

———

it was almost the holiday break, and you can already feel the christmas in l.a.—it’s not snowing, particularly and it’s not as iconic as new york christmas but you can already see christmas lights hanging downtown and at the grove. starbucks already released their holiday drinks and their holiday cups. you were finishing your last paper for the term, ready to finally get back to photography. you finished ahead of everyone else in class and begged some of your professors to let you take some quizzes and tests in advance. perhaps you were lucky this christmas because they allowed you to and you passed your term with good grades.

helenepemburn.photography: y/n I have a question to ask…
35mmdiary: sure what is it??

helenepemburn.photography: Are you done with classes? The semester?? 35mmdiary: yeah why?? helenepemburn.photography: How would you feel about replacing me as a photographer??? Im about to go on a break and I want you to be my fill-in??? You will be paid the same fee as I do during those days too

35mmdiary: What??? are you sure?? helenepemburn.photography: Yes!! The team will be in l.a. next week for a couple of interviews and etc so would be able to meet you and show you the ropes and hang out!!

35mmdiary: sure!! send me the details…i’m free until christmas anyway :)

helenepemburn.photography: See you then !! Im so excited to finally meet you !!

———

it’s been a few days and your best friend was absolutely ecstatic to know that you were harry styles’ photographer for a few weeks. you’ve been thinking about backing out but from your conversations with helene, it seems like she was really craving for a short break. she told you about going to japan and malibu with harry to take behind the scenes photographs. she loved it, of course but she was getting drained. besides, you will be paid a good amount of money for your services, unlike some of the previous bands who told you that you will have a shoutout for the ‘free’ photos you would give them. artists who don’t support artists suck, don’t they?

“i can’t believe! harry fucking styles!” your best friend, gina, exclaims. she was a harrie, the biggest one you’ve seen. she went to the forum, the closing venue for his first solo world tour, bought merch, and runs a fan account on twitter. “shh! keep it down, gina! it’s just a temporary job. i just took it as a favour to helene and also because it pays well. i can pay a little more to my college debt,” you muttered. “still! once you’re on tour with him, don’t you ever forget me,” she fake cries. “i just want a video greeting for harry, okay? like the one that i got you when i met adore delano,” she told you. you nodded and she squealed, jumpy in her seat because she was about to receive a personalised video from harry styles.

———

helenepamburn.photography: Im free right now if you want to meet up!! Im in la and i forgot how much i hated la traffic ://

35mmdiary: sure! where do you wanna meet? helenepamburn.photography: Harry rented an airbnb for all of us in beverly hills…would you like to meet in a coffee shop near it?? Im really craving for american starbucks right now 35mmdiary: sure! i’ll meet you there at 2:30? helenpamburn.photography: Ok and then we can go to the airbnb to meet up with jeff so he could walk you through the details sound good? 35mmdiary: okay…i’ll see you in a bit! be safe ! 


you immediately went inside your shower to take a bath. you were finally meeting helene! you didn’t know who jeff was but you decided to dress a little nicer today just in case this jeff guy was a little strict. opting for minimal make up, your favourite floral pants, white shirt, and your boots, you decided to head out with your iPad and film camera to show helene some of your photos.

it’s almost 2:30 when you arrived at the coffee shop. helene was already there, waving at you excitedly. you smiled and jogged up to her. “helene!” you called as she greeted you with a hug. “y/n! i’m so happy i get to finally meet you!” she laughs. “i hope it’s alright, i already ordered for you,” she says. “oh! thank you. how much was it? i’ll pa—“
“don’t be silly now! it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about it. now, tell me, how have you been?” she asked. you chuckled. “i’m good! i finished all my papers early to focus a little bit on my photography,” you tell her. “college is really sucking the life out of me! i worked part time in baskin robbins too so the stress is just too much,” you grumbled. “ah, well, i promise photographing harry isn’t that stressful. he’s quite chill with whatever you present him as long as it’s in black and white,” she joked. “kidding aside, harry’s whole crew is kind. very approachable and very good people,” she informed you. her words brought comfort over you as you were worrying about how they would treat a newbie. “i’m just really taking a break because i’m so tired! besides, my best friend will get married on christmas and i wanted to be there and take some pictures,” she says.

“you did mention that you like wedding photographs too,” you told her. “i love them! they’re so fun and the vibe is so different. i’m a bridesmaid so i just have to be there, you know? i’m wearing a really cute dress too! here, i’ll show you,” she gushed. she took out her phone and opened the picture. it was a great dress. it was a long peach dress and helene said that all the bridesmaids had dresses inspired by the colours of the sunset. “that’s so cool! i wanna get married someday but then again, not really,” you shared. helene nodded at that. you both spent the afternoon together, walking around beverly hills and just talking.

“hey, let’s go back to the airbnb so i can introduce you to everyone!” she gushed. she booked an uber and then immediately dragged you to the car. you loved how chatty and enthusiastic she was, basically telling you her life story and her friend’s life story in just a few hours. you rode the car once it arrived and it zoomed past the fancy beverly hills neighbourhood. it was a few minutes after when you arrived at a big house. “we’re here! i’m so excited for you to meet jeff, mitch, sara, claire, and everyone else!” she squealed. she beat you into paying for the fare and then dragged you again to the main, where she knocked and cursed at jeff for not opening the door immediately in french.

“fuck’s sake, helene! hold on!” a man called from the inside. “that’s jeff, he’s the oldest in this house but doesn’t seem like it,” she snickered. you were about to reply to helene when a friendly-looking man opened the door. he was scowling at helene, a facial expression she only chuckled at. “hello, jeff! this is y/n, y/n, this is jeff,” she introduced. “hi, it’s nice to meet you,” you told jeff. “same here,” he brushed off. “come in, enter,” he said cooly. you frowned, helene said that they were nice people but jeff seems so intimidating. “give the poor girl a break, jeffrey!” helene said. she guided you to the living room and made you sit on the the couch. “so, i take you’re helene’s replacement while she’s away?” he asked.

“uh—yeah,” you replied, picking on the loose thread of your white shirt. he chuckled at your nervousness. “you dress like harry,”
“sorry?” you asked. helene laughed, noticing how similar you dressed with the star. “she does! i just noticed that!” your friend exclaimed.

“anyways, i’ll be fetching some papers and documents you have to sign. harry’s a big star after all, we can’t trust everyone,” he said before going to god-knows-where. “i’m sorry! he’s not really like that. it’s just that many people before you came here with me as an intern or something but they always end up leaking photos, putting harry in trouble and all that,” helene apologised. “oh, i totally understand. it’s no problem,” you reassured. you were fumbling on your shirt, once more, when jeff arrived. “here,” he put the folder on the coffee table. “read the document over and sign it if you agree, of course…it’s just about harry’s privacy and all that,” he said. “call me when you’re don, i’ll just make us a drink,” he left the room again and probably into the kitchen. you read over the document a few times before signing on the required pages. it was basically concerned with harry’s privacy and how you couldn’t sell harry’s photographs to the tabloids. helene was there with you to explain the whole contract and how the ropes would work.

“she’s done, jeff!” she called. jeff emerged from the kitchen with a tray of iced coffee and some fruits. he laid the tray down on the table gently and took the folder from your grasp. you watched as he made sure that you signed all of the pages on the papers and smiled. “welcome to the team!” he suddenly beamed.

“thanks,” you smiled at him.

“i’m sorry for being rude earlier. it’s just that some photographers and ‘newbies’ take this job for granted. so, anyway,” he coughed. “help yourself to some coffee and tell me about yourself,”

“well, uh—i’m y/n y/l/n. 21 years old and i’m currently taking up business ad. i really love photography but my parents aren’t really set on supporting me have it as my profession in the future. i, uh, also take photographs of artists in free shows but i mostly do film, if that’s okay? harry’s photos will be developed after four hours if we’re here in l.a. but probably more than that if we’re not here, which i’m assuming won’t happen? i have a friend from one of my electives who knows how to develop film,” you told him.

“it’s worth the wait, jeff! do you have some photos, y/n?” helene interjected. you nodded and took out your iPad.

“uh, you can just swipe through the images of the scenes and people i took,” you told him, opening the photos app and into your digital portfolio. you handed jeff the ipad and waited anxiously. “wow, these are good. helene actually showed me your instagram already and i’m impressed. now, we will give you some money for the films and the development process when you start working, which is tomorrow—“

“ah, it’s okay.  the salary is enough to cover for everything,” you reassured. “no, no. i insist. helene also had the same budget. besides, you’re doing us a favour for agreeing to this job instantly,” he said. you nodded shyly. “anyways, you could stay here in the house or something since helene will leave the day after but that’s your choice, completely.” he said. “i’ll just stay in my apartment,” you told him. he nodded and looked at the time. “well, dinner’s about to start. i suggest you attend so you could meet everyone,” he smiled. you nodded, not really wanting to piss your new boss. “i’m sure everyone’s excited to meet the baby of the team,” he chuckled.

“ah! i’m so excited for you to meet claire and sara. you’re gonna love them!” helene squealed. “wait here, okay? i’ll just change into my pyjamas,” she said. you nodded and watched her leave the living room, leaving you alone with jeff.

“so, where did you grow up?” he asked. “i actually grew up here in california and then moved here in l.a. for my studies,” you informed him.

“that’s great,” he nodded. “let’s just wait for everyone else to come,” he said. you nodded and spent the following minutes chatting with helene and jeff. he may have been intimidating at first but he was a pretty chill guy. you liked his humour and immediately clicked once helene told him about the time some bands were lowballing you with a shoutout, to which jeff told you you should be charging more for your shots. it was nearing eight when two girls barged in the door, bringing some takeout.

“sara, claire!” jeff greeted. “this is y/n, the newest baby of our team,” he said. you waved at them shyly.

“she dresses like harry,” sara observed. “that’s what i thought so too!” jeff chuckled. he took the paper bags from the girls. “i’ll just fix this up in the kitchen while your girls chat,” he said while going back to the kitchen. “jeff is such a dad to all of us,” sara said once she sat in front of you with claire. “yeah, it’s nice knowing that there’s parental love going around here or it would be such a mess! mitch is the slobbiest person ever while sara here, hates his mess!” claire said. “so, how did you know helene was about to leave?” she asked. she wasn’t asking in an intruding way, she was just curious.

“well, helene and i are ‘internet friends’,” you told them. “i’m a photographer and i mostly use film. it was her who told me to come fill-in for her while she was away,”

“wait, youre 35mmdiary?” sara asked. you nodded. “she’s been raving about your work and harry seemed to like it too! i follow you on social media!”

“me too! i love your work! so, so good,” claire added.

“thanks, guys! that really means a lot to me,” you said. you took a mental note to follow them back once you go back home.

“where are the guys, anyway?” helene asked. “we couldn’t start dinner without them,”

“mitch told me he was with harry, buying some chinese food. they’re on their way back, though.” sara said.

“oh well, let’s just wait for them to come back,” helene said. you girls nodded and chatted for a bit until eighteen minutes later, the door opened, revealing the harry styles himself and mitch.

“i told you, haz! you should’ve bought soup dumplings instead of the fried ones,” a guy with long hair complained.

“but there might be holes in the dumplings and all the soup would fall out. fried dumplings are the safe option, honestly,”

“guys—“

“sarah, tell harry that soup dumplings are better that fried o—“ he stopped, just realising that there was another person in the house. “hello, who are you?” he asked, utterly confused.

“i’m the photographer filling in for helene while she’s away,” you spoke. “ah, well in that case, hello! my name is mitch,” he said. when he noticed that harry wasn’t speaking soon, he spoke again. “this is harry and that over there is adam,”
“oh yeah, i know. hi, harry,” you shyly waved at him. you also waved a greeting to adam to which he returned. harry gave you a tight-lipped smile. you always imagined this moment to be somewhat chill but right now, your cheeks were absolutely burning because of how beautiful he was. pictures didn’t do him justice, no offense to helene but it was the reality. “i’m y/n,” you added.

“hi, y/n. i’m harry but mitch already beat me to it,” he muttered. mitch only laughed and told him to go to jeff so he could set up the table.

“she kinda dresses like you, no?” mitch commented once he thought they were out of earshot.

it was less than ten minutes when jeff called you girls to go to the dining room. you were sat beside helene and in front of harry, who seemed to look everywhere but you.

“well, this was supposed to be a simple dinner but it isn’t. let’s welcome y/n into the family and bid farewell to helene,” jeff started. “everyone say ‘welcome to the family, y/n’!” there was a chorus of welcomes around the table and you only managed to mutter a shy ‘thank you’ to everyone.

“so, how did you know helene?” mitch asked. “oh we met through the internet,” you replied. “she messaged me about my work and then i looked at her profile a bit and decided that i loved he work too,”

“we’ve known each other for months but only met today, actually.” helene said. “huh, i would’ve thought that you knew each other for years but then again, helene has always been the noisy one,” adam commented.

“you’re just as noisy as i am! i cant believe this is how you treat me on my last day until i come back,” helene faked sobbed.

“let’s jusy eat dinner, yeah? poor y/n must’ve been so tired and hungry from all the talk you’ve been drilling into her,” adam said. everyone nodded and took their food. you shyly opened your chinese take-out box.

“y/n, i’m sorry if this is rude but i haven’t seen any of your work before,” mitch suddenly said.

“i’m not really a big photographer,” you started. “honestly, i just go to free shows and then offer my services for a cheaper price,”

“you should definitely see her work, babe. so, so, good! she does film and that’s like, super hard,” sarah added. babe? “y/n, show him your ipad so they’ll believe me!”

“alright...” you nodded and fished for your ipad, opening the album that contained your beat shots so far. you handed it to mitch. you stared at him for any reactions and was glad to see him focus on your pictures, zooming in on some of them.

“these aren’t filters? damn, you’re good. yo, look at this, adam! isn’t this the band you’ve been listening to on soundcloud?” mitch asked, showing adam your photograph of the vocalist of peach pit. adam looks over and gapes.

“y/n, this is so good! what’s your username on insta? i’ll give you a follow!”

“it’s 35mmdiary! i’ve been showing you gus her work for months now,” helene grumbled.

the dinner started and ended like that, with friendly banter from what seems to be a loving environment. jeff was definitely the father of the group. you liked everyone but harry. he hasn’t talked to you all night, just stealing some glances at your direction. helene booked you an uber and told you to text her once you’re home. you nodded and bid her good bye before riding into the car.

———

“harry, what do you think of y/n?” jeff asked once you left.

“pretty cool girl, yeah?” he commented.

“you barely looked at her! she’s quite lovely,” claire added.

“probably because he finds her cute or something,” mitch teased. “always does that! playing hard to get but really, what is there to get?”

“shut up, mitch,” he blushed. it was true. harry did sort of find tou attractive. you were so kind to everyone, taking their compliments gracefully. you got along so well with the other members and he wanted to talk to you but adam and helene hogged the conversation. perhaps he should talk to you alone, sometime?

“okay so, christmas is coming soon and once again, we will be needing to have our secret santa!” sarah said, changing the subject as harry looked like a poor fish gaping.

“should we include y/n?” adam asked.

“of course! she’s a part of our family now, even if it’s temporarily,” helene said.

“yeah and we should take you out instead...” harry teased.

“hey! that’s not nice,”

“well, she’ll be coming in tomorrow and basically everyday to accompany harry on photoshoots and to get some shots as well. we could talk to her about it tomorrow,” jeff informed. everybody nodded at that.

“gotta go back to my room, m’tired from today,” harry yawned. everybody said good night as he left tahe living room.

———

unknown to them, harry was actually looking theough your instagram. he decided to follow you once he reached his assigned room. everybody was right, you are good. he was so excited to have you as a part of the team.

harrystyles: Nice meeting you today, y/n. x

35mmdiary: hi hi!! it was nice meeting you today too :-)

harrystyles: Your works are lovely. I’m so excited to see more of your work.

35mmdiary: thanks ! i hope you like what you see so far. thanks for hiring me by the way

harrystyles: It’s quite alright! I loved what Helene showed me. I tried to get into film photography but it never worked out. So hard to figure out the settings. :(

35mmdiary: i actually started with dispposable cameras! they really helped me know what i like! i could teach you some of the stuff i know if you like. im not a pro or anything but i think there’s a few things i could teach you?

harrystyles: That sounds great! When are we doing it?

harrystyles: Can we do it tomorrow? I’m free tomorrow.

harrystyles: Only if it’s okay with you. :)

35mmdiary: yes of course ! i could meet you in the house tomorrow morning ?

harrystyles: No, it’s okay. I’ll just have someone pick you up just send me your address. I’m not a serial killer, I promise.

you gave harry your address and your number, just in case he needed it. that night, you looked for your spare disposable films while harry told jeff that you would be accompanying him tomorrow. jeff only teased harry but allowed it anyway.

———

“good morning!” you chirped as you entered the black range rover. harry smiled at you. the driver at the driver’s seat nodded at you.

“good morning, love. i got you breakfast, if it’s okay. if you don’t like it i could eat it and we could go somewhere else for breakfast,” harry rambled, offering you a brown bag. you looked into it and saw a ham and cheese croissant—your favourite sandwich.

“this will do just fine. this is my favourite sandwich,” you said as you dug into the bag to get your sandwich. “would you like some? we could share if you like,” you offered. harry shook his head no, telling you that he already ate the same sadnwich as you did.

“by the way,” you started as you swallowed the pastry. “i got some disposable cameras that you could use in my bag,”

“you shouldn’t have...” harry pouted. “i basically hogged your whole day and now you’re giving me stuff too?”

“it’s okay. i wanted to. as long as we end just in time for me and helene to say goodbye to each other,” you smiled.

“lunch is on me then! i know this place near santa monica that served the best chicken wings!” he declared. you chuckled at his etermination to get even with you. “what are we doing today, by the way?”

“well, i was thinking we could go on a classic photowalk. it’s basically just us walking and taking photos of the things we like,” you told him. “i was thinking we could take photos downtown...” you trailed off, not realizing that the paparazzi might see harry. “or somewhere else you like so we could avoid the paparazzi,”

“we’ll go downtown then!” he said, not really caring about tomorrow’s tabloids. harry liked your presence. for some reason, it made him feel at ease. he didn’t care if you’d be labelled as harry’s girlfriend tomorrow. he just wanted to have a nice afternoon walking around and taking photos that he like.

“well, for me, it’s the perfect place. if you’re into portraits, you could photograph people! if you’re into sceneries, you could do that too,” you gushed as you finished the last of your croissant. “i like sceneries and candids a lot. taking portraits is something that i’m not really good at,”

“at least you know something! i’m such a beginner,” he admitted. “drop us off here, please, thank you.” harry told the driver. the driver nodded and stopped the car. harry immediately went out, dragging tou by the hand to hide from onlookers. it’s not like he didn’t want to meet fans, he did. it was just that he’d rather be unnoticed when dealing with private matters, such as spending time with a girl whom he finds cute to gain some brownie points. he led you to an empty alley.

“you alright?” he asked. you nodded and fished out for the cameras in your bag.

“harry? here are the cameras. there are 36 shots per camera and because i brought you theee, you could do more than a hunderd. just give them back to me after you use it so i could have my friend develop them,” you breathed.

“thank you so much, y/n! you didn’t have to because i also have my own camera. just don’t know how to adjust it,” he frowned, looking down at the expensive camera hanging on his chest.

“i could take a look at it, if you like,” you offered. harry beamed at you and nodded rapidly. that day, you spent the afternoon taking photos of people living their daily lives. it was such a great day, walking downtown with cameras at hand. the day consisted of you and him talking about the most embarrassing stories you could think of when you were younger. he told you about the many times he fell onstage during his concerts, to which you laughed at, saying that you tripped on a wire once when you were photographing a gig for a local band. onlookers wouldn’t think that you were strangers at all but you didn’t mind.

that night, at the beverly hills mansion, you and the team huddled together to pick names for the small exchange gift. you left the house with a smile on your face a few hours after, really loving the group.

“alright, who picked y/n?” harry asked as soon as he walked back in from waiting outside until you left.

“why?” mitch asked. “well--” “he obviously likes her, dumbass,” adam said.

“you just met twice why would you like her immediately?” mitch asked again, clearly missing out on something. “she’s really a nice girl. besides, what’s wrong with finding her cute?” harry asked, clearly giddy about the day he spent with you. “she’s so cute especially when i told her earlier that she looked good in what she was wearing! then, she gave me these disposable cameras,” he added, showing off the cameras hanging on his wrist. “i really wanna get her something for christmas but i think it’s a little straightforward to just give her one, no?”

“what would you do for you to get her name?” sarah asked. “i’ll pay you a hundred dollars and treat you and a friend to a nice dinner,”

“i got her,” jeff said, giving the paper to harry and harry giving another piece with a different name on it. he gave jeff 300 dollars for the dinner and the monetary gift and said thank you. he smiled with his dimples showing and retired to bed.

“he’s whipped,” mitch mouthed to sarah. sarah only nodded, really finding it cute how harry found y/n cute.

-------

you’ve been photographing harry and his band for so many days now, rarely even having the time to clean your apartment, which was fine. it was always clean, only feeling like it wasn’t because harry was at your place, going over the photographs that he would be posting on his social media. you told him that you could come by the house in beverly hills but he told you to just stay at home so it would be safer. you didn’t protest but you did stress clean for a little bit.

“i really like this photo,” he pointed at your laptop. “i think mum would really like this, yeah?”

you nodded. it wasn’t your best shot but so far, it looked like it was harry’s favourite image of himself. you were done for the night and you were tired but you didn’t want harry to leave yet. you were enjoying his company and it seems as though he was feeling the same when he decided to open a new conversation.

“so, who did you pick for secret santa?” he asked as you opened your spotify christmas playlist and played it softly on the bluetooth speaker on the coffee table. “i can’t tell you that! it would ruin the whole thing,” you replied. you were perched on your couch, facing harry.

“why not? it’s not like you got me, unless you did…” he teased.

“maybe, maybe not,” you shrugged. harry pouted but started to hum to the christmas music anyway before sipping on his hot cocoa. “you know what i would love from you?”

“what?” he asked. he’s been tearing his hair for a perfect gift for you but nothing really came up. he wanted to get you a film camera but that would be too basic. “a christmas record from you! your voice is so good,” you gushed. “it would sound so great and i’m sure you’d sing christmas classics like the one paul mccartney sang,” you mused, clearly unaware of what was going through harry’s head. he finally found a perfect gift for you. “if you ever release a christmas album, hit me up immediately! i’d stream and buy the hell out of it. i’ll even wear your christmas merch,”

--------

“everyone shut up! i’m gonna record something in my room, don’t bother me,” harry breathed as soon as he arrived in the rented home. everyone’s eyebrows shot forward. they were huddled in the living room, playing uno. “okay, i’m sorry just don’t make too much noise!” he apologised. he ran to his assigned room after that, locking his door and taking out his guitar. clueless as to where he would start off, he decided to text helene.

harry styles: Helene! 

Helene.: Harry !

harry styles: Do you know y/n’s favourite Christmas songs?

Helene: Not really but she’d be into classics dont you think?? Why ??

harry styles: I kinda got her for secret Santa and I don’t know what to give.

harry styles: Do you really think she’d be into the classics? Helene: Yes now stop talking to me i have to attend the dinner rehearsals why do you have to rehearse for dinner?

that night, harry set up his personal microphone, a device that he could just slip into his laptop’s usb, and sang at least three songs that he would sing with gemma whenever he was home for the holidays.

-------

it was after harry’s successful live show at the forum. you were busy capturing every moment of the tour with your camera. gina, your best friend was in the crowd too. it was your early christmas gift for her, along with a personalised video from harry like you promised. she squealed and hug you for being the ‘best best friend ever’. you laughed and received her hugs with joy. you were supposed to have a small staff-only after show party but decided not to come. you were tired and all you wanted was sleep. you told jeff about it and he nodded, hugging you and asking you if it was okay if you left alone. you nodded and wished him a good party. that night, you went home to your apartment, looking over the new photos that your friend e-mailed you so you could show them to harry the next time you see him. you took note of the pictures you liked alot.

“where’s y/n?” harry asked as soon as he greeted everyone. “oh, she left! said she felt tired and just wanted to sleep,” jeff shouted over the loud music and the loud people. the party became bigger as staff invited friends and family to come over. harry didn’t mind, he liked crowds. harry nodded at jeff, a little disappointed because he was hoping to get to you. he would be leaving for london next week for another live show and he was sure that you wouldn’t be able to come. the live show at the forum was supposed to be the big ending for the celebration of harry’s album in america. if he wouldn’t be able to see you now, he wouldn’t see you at all, probably.

--------

it was nearing 1 am when your doorbell rang. being a light sleeper, you woke up from your slumber in the couch. you must’ve fallen to sleep while finalising images you wanted to show harry next day. you fixed the coffee table a little bit then begrudgingly walking to the door, only to reveal the man who’s been keeping you busy.

“hi, y/n. may i come in?” harry asked. you nodded and opened the door wider, the cold from your air conditioning unit greeting harry.

“what are you doing here?” you asked as you and your guest settled on your couch. “well, i was at the party and i noticed you were gone so, i decided to come by. i’m sorry if it was so sudden it’s just that, i picked you for secret santa and i wanted to give you my gift before i leave for london next week,” he rambled. he the handed you a pretty christmas box.

“thank you, harry. what about your party?” you asked. “it’s fine, they’re fine. i just wanted to be here with you more.” he smiled. “go on, open it!”

you opened the box that revealed a red sweater.

“you said you wanted christmas merch, right? that you would wear it?” he asked. you nodded and unfolded the sweater to reveal a ‘harry’ sweatshirt in red. it was the one that gina wanted for so long but in the colour pink. harry’s name was embroidered on the soft red sweater in white, and his motto ‘treat people with kindness’ was embroidered on one of the sleeves in red.

“i picked out the colours and i hope you like it! it’s not from the same manufacturer but i figured you would like it,” he said. you looked deeper into the box to find a cd and a flashdrive. the cd cover was you and harry, a selfie he took using his phone when you were out having a photowalk. “you said you wanted a christmas record and here it is,” he said. you were smiling widely and thanking harry for the thoughtful gifts he got you. “i, uh, you have to listen to the songs and text me if you liked them, alright? text me as soon as you finish it.i have to go back to the party and entertain but i’d really love to hear your thoughts on the record, okay?” he asked, standing up from his seat and kissing your forehead. you nodded and watched him go outside your door, too overwhelmed with his thoughtful gift. you inserted the flashdrive in your laptop’s usb and clicked on track 1.

track 1 was harry’s rendition for paul mccartney’s wonderful christmas time--your favourite christmas song. you casually mentioned it to him once but didn’t think that he would remember. there were 8 tracks in the flashdrive, harry’s voice and guitar playing filling your apartment. you were wearing the sweater he gave you, feeling giddy at the gifts he gave you. you just finished track 7 and waited for track 8 to play when harry’s talking voice was heard from the speakers.

“hi, y/n,” he started. “well, i hope you like my gifts for you. the truth is, jeff was actually the one who picked you and i picked claire but i bribed him so i could give you this gift. truth be told, i like you. like, i’m crushing on you and if you feel the same way, i’m waiting in the parking lot. i just wanted to say this and was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date before i go back to london for the show and the holidays. wow this feels like a goddamn movie and i sort of like it. i hope you really love my gifts. i’m waiting outs--” you stopped the audio and immediately ran to the door, opening it. it revealed harry who was sitting beside the door, waiting anxiously. once he heard you go out, he stood up and smiled at you.

“silly boy! of course i’d go out on a date with you,” you said as you hugged him. he was chuckling, thanking the heavens for giving hime a wonderful christmas.

“what about when i’m in london? how would we talk then?” he asked. “we’ll make it work, yeah? see how it plays out,” you said. you felt him put his chin on the top of your head after kissing it.

it was the perfect ending to a perfect night and as the christmas lights surround you with your wreath hung on your door, you both wished for this christmas miracle to last.

-----

im soff

taglist:

@giitterysuits / @floral-suits @bree082 @dezzym17 @bouncebackbyers @lolapuffs@belleamoree @demolition-lovers-blog

[oikawas-bae]

OHMYGOD I need a part two for Target with Akaashi!! It’s so beautiful and I need to know please? Like does he confess? Do they start dating? Does Bokuto suspect something!? Does she(?) like him back?! I NEED ANSWERS PLEASE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Here’s the part 2! Ahah thank you for literally being my #1 hype man/woman/person since I started this blog like a week ago!! I’m really feeling the love :,) also here are answers hehe

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOKUBABEY!!” You whooped when you slapped the front door open. Bokuto came running down the stairs in only boxers with a paranoid look on his face.

“Calm down, we’re not burglars.” Akaashi walked ahead to set the snacks down on his credenza.

“HEY, don’t rule it out. I was watching this documentary the other day-“ You cut him off by grabbing his hand, earning you a surprised yelp from the owl boy.

“You really need to stop watching the videos Kuroo sends you, they all make you act some kind of way and we get to deal with the aftermath.” You frowned for a millisecond before flashing him a toothy grin and looking at Akaashi for reassurance. The latter nodded.

“It’s your birthday Bokuto! We’re doing whatever you like, we brought you snacks right at 12 o’ clock to experience your birthday for as long as it lasts.” Akaashi sighed, bracing himself for the incoming storm of excitement that would explode from Bokuto’s mouth in a minute.

“ALL 24 HOURS? WERE STAYING UP?” Yep, Akaashi was right. “I’ve always wanted my birthday to be longer...how did I not think of this sooner? Ah! What should we do? Good thing I took a nap! I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH.” Pulling you both into an agressive hug, there was a synchronized groan.

“Well (y/n) and I didn’t nap all day so you’re in charge of keeping us awake with all that energy of yours.” The black haired boy grumbled into the hug. Bokuto let go and placed a hand on his hip, “Deal.”

“Speak for yourself, Akaashi. I’ve done countless all nighters.” You boasted, locking elbows with Bokuto and walking toward the kitchen.

“You’re literally a baby. You nap in every car ride where you’re not the driver.” Akaashi followed.

You stuck your tongue out at him and he simply rolled his eyes. Bokuto looked to you then to Akaashi, sighing but shrugging off the mini argument. His owl eyes shrunk in concentration as he tried to figure out what to do for the next 24 hours.

“Okay!” Akaashi and you turned at his call for attention. “I’ve decided that the best plan of action is to start off with the light stuff like watching movies or homework if you guys have any and then we’ll do the intense stuff when we’ve been awake for a couple of hours and feel the sleep kicking in.”

“It’s smart to do more interactive activities when we’re tired but I’m afraid to ask what you mean by ‘intense activities’’” Akaashi mumbled, Bokuto chuckled ominously.

“I have twister! And we’ll make an obstacle course...” He continued to ramble on about the ideas he had and Akaashi and you knew it was going to be a long day.

Hour 5

Bokuto put on a movie for and you pretended to be critics and pointed out all of its flaws. Bokuto and you chortled at how serious Akaashi got about critiquing the movie- he really should’ve majored in film.

Hour 10

The drowsiness began to kick in for you but you refused to show any sign of weakness. Your eyes were peeled and you blinked constantly to keep the dryness from reddening your eyes. Akaashi, being as observant as he was and just looking up to admire you every once in a while, noticed but kept it to himself since he had to admit that it was amusing to watch you battle with pride about being a ‘professional staying awake person’ as you put it.

Hour 13

Twister time! And Bokuto was feral. He pushed you out of your place, making you lose, when his hip was beside your face and he bumped you intentionally (and he lied about doing that when you accused him). Akaashi lost on purpose and went to use the restroom but not before mumbling incoherently about Bokuto being a cheater.

Hour 15

At this point, Akaashi and you were begging Bokuto to do something not so physically demanding so that you could sneak in at least a few minutes of sleep. Your head was on Akaashi’s lap and he was so frazzled by it that he stuttered while lecturing Bokuto about the dangers of driving with zero hours of sleep.

“AHAHA you stuttered, Akaashi!” The owl boy teased and Akaashi’s face heated up, even more so when you nuzzled on his lower thigh to get more comfortable. A wave of relief washed over him as he thanked the forces of nature and whatever was out there that Bokuto was so simple minded, “the sleep deprivation must really be getting to you.”

You shot up at Bokuto’s words, “IM NOT SLEEPY AT ALL. It’s Akaashi, like you said, Boku.” You were not about to even be vaguely assumed to be tired.

“If we can’t go out, let’s do karaoke!”

You and Akaashi looked at each other and breathed in like exhausted parents trying to appease their hyperactive child. And at this point, that’s what you were. Only nine more hours.

Hour 20

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. “ Bokuto alternated from you and Akaashi as he watched the two of you nod off every few minutes while he was bringing out his birthday cake from the fridge.”

He served the two of you your pieces and didn’t bother with the candles or the song. You had already sung a dubstep version of ‘Happy Birthday’ and awkwardly inserted Bokuto’s name in during karaoke.

“Eat. Sugar will keep you awake.” Akaashi heeded his friends orders and lifted the form up to his mouth but sleep sounded much more enticing. You and Bokuto both watched Akaashi’s head flip back and his mouth open just a few centimeters wide, his breath coming out slowly.

Chuckling evilly, you took a bite from the cake, “Weak.”

“I honestly thought you would be the one to go down first.” Bokuto said in between mouthfuls. It was really a mystery how this boy could have so much energy with so little sleep.

“Huh? I’m literally a god when it comes to not sleeping.” You slurred. Bokuto grinned, it wasn’t long before the sleepless drunk (y/n) emerged. You were fun when you were fueled by sleep but he could really mess with you when you were in the vulnerable state of almost-sleep.

It only took about half an hour before the two of you headed to the dining room to leave Akaashi alone in the living room to sleep.

“I’ve got a question.” He set his palms down flat on the wood.

“Yes, birthday Bokuto? Ahh I mean birthday boy...oh wait, it still weeerks...it’s even bettturr.” Your words tripped out of your lips and he couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.

“How come you haven’t made a move on Akaashi?” The question came at you like a canon ball. Your cheeks flare up and usually you and the wit to counter Bokuto’s ridiculous remarks but this was sleepy (y/n).

“Huh? Akaashi is lame, he’s literally a sleepyhead...” you denied.

“Cmon, (y/n). I’m dense but I know my best friends and you like him and he like you.” You wanted to smack the smirk off his face but you were just so lethargic.

“Yeah, he’s a cute sleepyhead.” You drew circles on the table with your index finger and Bokuto couldn’t help it compare you to a little girl with a crush. He smiled at the thought while you continued to breathy commentary on Akaashi. “He’s not even just cute, he gorgeous like I had a dream we were married and I woke up soooo happy , I cried. But it’s weird, no?”

Bokuto asked ‘what?’ With a flick of his eyebrows and you sighed and continued to exhaust yourself by talking. “Well, we’ve been friends since forever and it’s weird because he treats me so well and I love this him, I don’t want him to become someone else if we’re together. And don’t assume he likes me.”

“Are you kidding me? He’s love struck on you, he stares at you and he takes you places even though he hates driving. He keeps every dumb selfie you take on his phone. When he talks about you, it’s like he’s lost in his own world. And I get it, you’re really great, (y/n).”

“B-Bokuto...” You breathed out. The drowsiness was out of your mind and the only thoughts flowing through your head were those pertaining to what Bokuto was saying.

“Yeah, (y/n). Akaashi sees you just like I do but for him there’s just something extra there. Like he doesn’t just want to be with you, he wants to take care of you and for you to take care of him.”

“That sounds so-“

“Chummy, I know.” The black-white haired boy chuckled, his head falling on his wrist. “But it’s true and it has been for about...3 years now?”

“Three? HUH?” Your eyes opened wide. 3 years and you didn’t notice? Or maybe you chose not to see it because you were afraid of mistaking it for something it wasn’t.

Bokuto nodded, looking over to the curled up Akaashi on the couch. “You should tell him. If you wait for him, you’ll be waiting for six more years.”

“Maybe I will.” You confidently stood up, chest puffed out before grains of static filled you vision, that was too quick of a movement for someone who hadn’t slept in nearly a day.

“Actually, tell him after you get some rest.” Bokuto shuddered before getting up to help to balance yourself.

“But it’s your birthday...I’m not sleepy...” He lightly shoved you next to Akaashi on the couch and you r head fell to the armrest and almost instantaneously, you fell asleep.

Bokuto stood back and gave a satisfied nod at his sleeping friends. “You two made it farther than I thought you would.”

He looked down a his phone at the sound of a ding from Kuroo.

Kuroohohoh: I’m outside. Birthday dinner is on me!!

“Okay, gotta go!” He snapped a quick photo of the two of you sleeping beside each other before slipping on his shoes and continuing his birthday celebration. Akaashi’s eyes twitched at the sound of the door and he caught a glance of you next to him but he would save his freaking out to after he got his 8 hours.

[musedblues]

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 4]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You’re working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life’s greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

warnings: Some fun, a little angst, and a whole lot of mixed feeling!

w/c: 6k

a/n: We’ve reached the halfway mark of this story! I hope you enjoy this update. Let me know what you think, lovies!

​taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​ @mrsmazzello​ @lettinggosthehardestpart​ @the-moving-finger-writes​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​

Part 5

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The spring was blossoming to life and after your fair share of sulking, you went on the hunt for a job. Funeral expenses and travel had cleaned out your account, and you needed income. In the local mall, you scored part-time at a tiny flower shop. A lovely couple of old men owned the place and handled deliveries, insisting your only job was to sit behind the register and wait for customers to buy something.

There were plenty of shoppers, but even more spare time to listen to podcasts and text Tegan. You were in the middle of sending your friend photos of the floral arrangement one of your bosses let you mess around with over lunch break, when a familiar voice floated past your counter.

“Oh my God!”

Lacy Duval was standing in front of you with a strangely excitable grin and a perfect ponytail flowing from underneath a Yankees ballcap. Oh my God was right.

“Hello, Lacy.” You gave her a cagey smile. There was no reason not to be polite, but something about the girl really got under your skin.

“I saw you here on my way to Urban Outfitters and I couldn’t not say hello.” The girl was pretty. It almost blinded you to look right at her. But she’d taken to leaning against the counter to shove her smile in your face.

“Well, hello.” You offered once more. “Please, don’t let me get in the way of your shopping.” You nearly plead, glancing past her, willing another customer to show up.

“Oh, no I work at Urban. I totally don’t mind clocking in a few minutes late.” Lacy giggled like this was some kind of big, secret, inside joke. You only let out a very nervous chuckle, afraid if you opened your mouth again you would be a little too rude. Lacy leaned against your register for five solid minutes, gabbing on about the mall and the people she worked with and how she’d never see you here before.  All while looking over her shoulder and around yours, like she had somewhere better to be. That’s what stopped you from dropping your guard and actually listening to what Lacy had to drone on about.

She left with a reluctant sigh and you wondered how she justified talking to you for so long with absolutely nothing to say. You shook it off in a hurry, going back to your texts with Tegan and selling a few promposal bouquets near the end of your shift.

Except after then, something horrific happened. For the next two weeks, Lacy kept coming in to say hello. Every. Single. Day. She even learned your schedule and made a habit of stopping in to greet you before her shifts across the mall started. And for a while, you didn’t totally mind the tradition. She kept it up so long, with a pleasant smile. She must have really wanted to talk to you, right? But by her fifth visit, her all too obvious intentions were finally brought to light.

“So how’s Joe, then?” Lacy kept her smile wide and her eyes glued on yours.

“Oh, you know, some kind of superstar.” You half-joked, almost through your teeth. Joe was off with his castmates, winning awards and attending red carpet parties. You couldn’t have been happier for him. He deserved a bit of fun after the winter was so cruel. You just didn’t like that Lacy was asking.

“He’s always been popular but he’s properly famous now, isn’t he?” Lacy pointed out, giddy. “Every time I post a photo with him I swear I gain at least a hundred more followers!” She practically swooned.

It took every ounce of your strength not to throw your head back and groan out loud. Yeah, he was an actor. Yeah, he was good- and recognized for it. You’d had this conversation more times with more people than you ever really realized was possible.  And if ever he dared mention your old pal, Kris always referred to Joe as “that famous friend of yours.” Was Joe’s celebrity really all that mattered to anyone? What about his favorite Chinese food, or his theory about the end of Easy Rider? He was a motherfucking person.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, it got so much worse.

You had just closed up shop, paying no mind to the last-minute mall rats who still bustled around the other open storefronts. Before you could make your way too far past the flower shop, someone tapped you on the shoulder.

It was Joe, who proceeded to wrap you in a big hug the moment you registered his surprise presence.

He was gone for what felt like longer than ever before, but he looked way more happy to see you now, than the last time you reunited. You threw your arms around his shoulders and he lifted you off the ground for a moment, exchanging merry hello’s.

“Alright, alright! We have a guest.” Joe set you back on your feet, gesturing to a very tall and happy looking fellow you recognized from many photos.

“Gwilym.” You proudly smiled up to him, confirming you knew of him well enough to be happy to see him here now. 

“Y/n!” He pointed at you, as if this meeting were a long time coming.

Joe went on to explain how Gwilym had been staying with him the past couple of days after all the press tours and premiers were over. And how they drove all the way back here to Joe’s measly hometown because his mother insisted they both stop over for brunch, so she could get the chance to see Joe’s friend. Apparently, she adored Gwilym. You could see why, even just having met the guy, he oozed a certain gentle charm.

Joe knew to find you here at the mall, because you’d kept up your promise of sending the occasional text message update when something more than mundane happened in each of your lives. You listened to him and Gwilym yammer on about how exciting the past couple of months had been for them, taking a beat to notice how good Joe looked. There was a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen since you’d been back in the states.

And then you saw her. Lacy was leaving her shift down the way. You watched her realize just exactly who was talking to you, stop, and turn in a very big hurry in your direction.

“Joey!” She shrieked, rushing up to your best friend. Gwilym was practically shoved aside by the girl on her mission to invade Joe’s personal space. What was even more unsettling was how Joe seemed glad to see her. He pulled her into a friendly embrace that she squealed during. Even though you and Gwilym had just met, the two of you shared a befuddled expression trying to reason why you’d both been left on the sidelines all of a sudden.

Even when Joe pointed to Gwilym, introducing the strangers to each other, Lacey didn’t dare turn her gaze from Joe. She didn’t miss a beat as she went on saying;

“I’m so glad you’re here! So listen, my sisters are throwing this big party and I promised them I’d get you to come. I wanna show you off!” Lacy swayed in place, looking up to Joe through her fake lashes.

“Oh, wow uh sure, when is it?” Joe smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket as you crossed your arms, realizing you were invisible to her now. Lacy gave Joe the details and had the nerve to sweep her eyes over you as she skipped away. What the fuck? She’d spent all month popping in to “say hello” to little old you, but now that Joe was around you’d become irrelevant. She was only trying to get to Joe and you knew it all along, but you were still fuming at her disregard for you during the past couple minutes.

“That was weird.” Joe realized with a shrug, watching Lacy walk away. You knew if you responded you’d only blow a gasket, and luckily Joe was interested in moving on. Gwilym stood watching on in near comical horror as Joe snapped everyone back to business.

“Alright, listen this is very important.” Joe grabbed your shoulders, wearing another hopeful grin. “I want you to come back and stay with us, this weekend. But the thing is you need to say yes right now, cause we’ve got to leave right now.” Joe nodded. You realized he was serious or he wouldn’t have tracked you down at the mall, with the excitable, dashing Gwilym in tow.

///

Gwilym was put to work charming the socks off your mother as Joe raced you up the stairs to help pack your bags. He was desperate to make it to some very specific pizza place before it closed for the night. You just laughed as he threw your clothes into an old JanSport, before stealing it from his grasp to finish packing your thing; full of mostly new clothes you splurged on with your first big paycheck. As you packed them to wear, you felt strangely like life was finally taking a turn for the better.

When you scurried back down the stairs, Gwilym had managed to make a cup of tea and was busy trading some recipe with your mother who was sad to see him go. Joe rushed the pair of you out the door and off onto an adventure.

Gwilym insisted you take the passenger seat on the way to the city and begged you to expose the depths of your Spotify playlist, from the back. The car ride was spent laughing about the musical phases you’d all gone through, and rocking out to the classics everyone loved.

“Hey, this is fun.” It hit you as you gazed at the cars zooming past the speed limit on either side of the freeway, and you didn’t feel usually dreadful. You let the comment slip out without thinking about it, without thinking of Gwilym in the back who might have wondered why you’d be shocked to find a road trip suddenly appealing.

But Joe knew, and he smiled as if to disguise a frown. He seemed to get this same strange look on his face when you even slightly alluded to your recent past.

“John told me what happened, why didn’t you?” Joe asked, quietly, worriedly.

Oh, yeah. Your car slid off the road last month.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.” You shrugged, almost too much like a little kid. But you caught a glimpse of Gwilym in the back, pretending not to notice the shift in conversation. So you reached to turn the music up, and Joe reached for your hand.

Then you all declared this weekend was to be dedicated to nothing but having fun.

///

You made it to the city in time to hurry into Joe’s favorite pizza place an hour before closing, where you and Gwilym played the basic twenty questions of getting to know each other. And there was no stopping the way you each roasted Joe into oblivion, making him laugh all the while.

Joe’s apartment looked different than it had in all the photos you’d seen. The walls were decorated in old family photos and there were plenty of knickknacks you recognized from the years gone by, and some you didn’t. Stepping foot into his home felt strangely invasive, and you felt funny for wishing you’d been here more times than just this once.

You thought it was only natural that Gwilym took the only guest bedroom. The guy was one hundred feet tall, and you had no business taking up Joes spare California King. But Gwilym insisted the couch was just fine by him, and it was a big sofa after all. All of his bags seemed to be resting in an armchair nearby, anyhow. You couldn’t justify arguing, and soon you were shutting yourself into the spare room with sleep on your mind.

That was until rain pelted against the sealed window next to you, and you swore you saw a draft blew the blinds back. You cursed your hasty packing. You’d only grabbed an oversized tshirt instead of a sweater. After a moment of bringing your bare knees to your chest to get warm, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The apartment was dark, and Gwilym was peacefully sleeping on the L shaped sofa, borrowed knitted throw blankets decorated across his form. The glow from the streetlamp outside the kitchen window provided enough light for you to tiptoe toward Joe’s room, where soft yellow light seeped through the bottom of the door. Was he still up, too?

You knocked softly, in case he was asleep and your silly request wasn’t meant to matter. But you heard a shuffled from close beyond the door, and soon it creaked open.

“What’s up?” Joe asked, seemingly a little surprised to see you, but it was hard to read his face in the dim doorway.

“I just forgot a sweatshirt. Could I borrow one?” You asked sheepishly, folding your arms out of shyness and a bit of a chill.

“Yeah of course.” Joe breathed in sharply, turning on his feet toward his closet. The door creaked open further and you noticed Joe rub his eyes, before reaching to grab an old college sweatshirt. What was up with him tonight?

“Hey…” You cautiously began, slipping into the room and clicking the door shut. “Are you alright?” You padded toward your friend as he barely turned toward the sound of your voice.

“Uh,” Joe seemed to decide as he gently shoved his sweatshirt toward your grasp. You instinctively held it to your chest but dropped it the moment Joe turned away and started drifting toward his bed. Before he could totally answer your question he started to cry. The second you registered his snivels you darted toward where Joe stood quickly falling to piece. Then he began to explain himself.

“We said our goodbyes and everything, I shouldn’t still be so sad.” Joe croaked, covering his face with his hands so you couldn’t see his broken expression. But you felt the weight of his sadness stomp your heart out.

“You just miss him, Joe. It’s okay to miss him.” You missed his dad too, but saying so seemed selfish. Joe was still catching his breath under his hands as you pulled him toward his bed where the covers were already turned down.

You laid him down and wasted no time curling up next to him, pulling his head toward your shoulder. Joe sheepishly latched onto you while he steadied his breathing, and neither of you spoke. You just smoothed down his hair while he grabbed onto you. Joe was stronger than before.

“You are cold.” Joe noticed, chucking a little into your hair. But you sort of forgot your reason for coming in his room or the goosebumps that decorated your bare legs. You were completely comfortable in his arms. His embrace made you warmer than any sweatshirt ever could. You felt attached to him, but simultaneously cautious of the affection, you didn’t deserve this kind of all-encompassing comfort. Why was Joe’s embrace so much more multiplexed than it had been some odd years ago?

Joe was quiet, but the silence was heavy with whatever was on his mind. You could tell he wanted to say something more, but he never did. You lay together in understanding silence, trying to unravel your tangled thoughts about it all. But the effort made you tired and you drifted off there with Joe.

You woke up later, completely unsure of the time, but noticing the sun had yet to rise. Joe was still lying against you, now in peaceful sleep. You almost felt bad for squirming out from under him. You would hate to disrupt him, and his body was warm against yours. But you knew you couldn’t stay. Tiptoeing toward his door, you scooped up the previously abandoned college sweatshirt, squeezed through the door and back down the hall to the guest room. It was still cold, maybe even colder now.

///

Later that morning you awoke to a clattering from the kitchen. You slid some short on under Joe’s sweatshirt and ran your fingers through your hair before padding out of the guest room to discover what was happening.

Joe and Gwil were dressed for the day, drifting around the kitchen, arguing over something like an old married couple.

“Good morning mom and dad.” You snickered, grabbing your bottle of water from the night before, and watching Joe and his friend point to the oven. Joe shot you a look but turned his gaze back to Gwilym to finish the argument.

“If the fork comes out clean, it’s ready!” Joe pointed to the oven.

“Yeah, but you stuck it in the side, not the middle! You gotta go for the middle!” Gwilym argued. You took a sip of water and watched on in amusement. Had they really woken up and headed straight into baking something?

Joe turned to you, making some kind of whine as if pleading for you to help him prove his point. But Gwilym was right.

“He’s right.” You pointed your bottle toward Gwil who proudly sauntered behind the island to join you there.

“Ha!” Gwilym boasted.

“Ha? That’s the best you’ve got?” Joe playfully jabbed.

“It’s Welsh for ‘fuck off I’m right.’” Gwilym falsely reported, trying to save his comeback. Hey, that was good. You might steal that one. Joe laughed but looked at you with that same funny little micro-expression like he couldn’t choose between horror or sadness. But you couldn’t help go on smiling.

“You’re from there, right? Wales?” You moved your eyes toward Gwilym, who leaned against the counter toward you.

“Well no. Me mum is. I’m a fraud.” Gwil rose a brow and made you chuckle.

“Well, that’s a shame. We could have had our own secret language.” You gently admitted. Gwil kept a curious eye on you as he moved to sit next to you.

“You speak Welsh?” He asked, reaching for his cup of coffee across the island.

“I lived there for a while.” You shrugged.

“What the hell! Joe’s talked for ages about you but never mentioned that.” Gwilym cast a befuddled glance to Joe across the room.  Joe talked about you back when you weren’t talking to each other? He was occupying himself with putting a couple of dishes away. You couldn’t read his face when he stepped closer toward the opposite side of the island. Joe responded by lifting his phone in the air and snapping a photo of you and Gwilym in the middle of the morning lit kitchen.

“What was that for?” Gwilym laughed.

“Something to remember you by when the oven catches on fire because we left this damn dessert in too long.” Joe fanned his hands around. You laughed out loud, utterly delighted to be amidst the chaos. You’d missed this side of Joe. His wit and spunk had sort of all but fizzled out through the winter. It was nice to see he hadn’t lost his touch.

The photo he took was accidentally wonderful. The bright kitchen looked like heaven around you and Gwilym, sleepily leaning on the counter.

“I’ve got to post this! Or do you want too?” Gwilym asked, pointing to the picture on your phone. You had an Instagram but scarcely used the platform outside of admiring other people’s posts. Something about how excited Gwilym became and how pretty the picture was made you excited to open the old dusty application. You sent the photo to yourself and posted it to your Instagram without hesitation. It looked like the start of something new. The bright white photo stood out among the rest of your grainy theme, mostly filled with photos of you and Tegan from the pub in Wales. You tagged Gwilym and Joe.

///

That day became a game of sneaking candid photos of each other. You snuck up on each other as you strolled through the city streets and snapped shots of one another buying ice creams and looking in storefronts. But the game got out of hand. Gwilym took one photo of Joe when he was least expecting it, as he was standing on his tiptoes to reach for something in a candy store you’d fallen into the trap of. Gwilym decided it was blackmail, and then the game was on. You got a photo of Gwilym taking a massive bite of lunch and Joe got one of you making some dumb face as you had to wait in line to use the restroom.

All the while, you felt hyper aware of your surroundings and started to take more photos of stickers on light poles and titles of books that were far too expensive but probably cheaper on resale somewhere. You watched Joe open a picture book of old school baseball players. You couldn’t help but snap a shot of the way he held the book open upon the stack of others. His long fingers ghosting over the pages like a treasure. The sun casting patterns across the scene.

“What is happening to you?” Joe laughed at your newfound hobby.

“We’re having fun, remember? I am anyway.” You chuckled, raising your camera inches from his face to snap a photo and giving him a mischievous grin before you scurried away. Joe’s laughter followed you out of the shop and all around the city.

//

That night Joe hyped you and Gwilym up into getting a little dressed up and going to a bar after dinner. Luckily the newer purchases you packed included a nice enough dress. Then you ended up at a piano bar. Something stuttered in your heart when you noticed the excitement in Joe’s eye’s as they peered into yours. You hadn’t played the piano since you sold your keyboard a couple of years ago. You barely even thought of playing, actually. But Joe clearly had picked this place for a reason, with the knowledge that it had always been your dream.

The piano bar was complete with green naugahyde and mahogany wood, totally stuck out of time but still classy somehow. The crowd varied in age, and you were charmed to find a girl younger than you playing the baby grand on the risen velvet stage.

You, Joe and Gwil sat in the middle of the room, at a cozy table. You ordered dark drinks and listened to each other’s stories while other peoples chatter blurred into the background. Joe ordered something fruity with a straw and held it in front of you, insisting you try it. You took a sip and looked to your friend with wide eyes to confirm it was super good. Gwilym snapped a photo of the two of you then.

“Awe, see, that’s the opposite of blackmail!” You chuckled.

“Or is it?” Gwilym shot you a menacing grin as he stood to order a new drink at the bar. Before you could decode his secret message, a voice caught your attention.

A nice looking gentleman with a German accent tapped on the microphone at the front of the stage as your friend walked away.

“Tonight we are inviting you lovely crowd to come up and play if you know how, or even just want to. Don’t be shy, but do take turns!” The man encouraged, slinking off stage while waving for the crowd to get up and muck about.

“You should.” Joe leaned forward, speaking quietly just to you. His soft gaze made your heart crack a little. You weren’t about to do that. But you almost wanted to, just because of how excited he looked. Had he known this was going to happen? Or was he just dazzled by the hands of fate opening this random door?

“Oh, I don’t know.” You shrugged sitting up a little. Joe did the same, following your gaze. “I haven’t played uh… for a while.”

“Oh, really?” Joe frowned. You didn’t want to disappoint him. You knew he chose this place just for you. But you couldn’t lie.

“I sold my keyboard years ago.” You sorrily shrugged, recalling the time you had no other choice to pay rent. And realizing now that you never told Joe out of some kind of shame. You’d moved overseas with big plans to play, and they all crumbled around you.

“Oh…” Joe bit his lip and got that look in his eye that you realized he always got at the mention of Wales.

“Okay listen.” You turned to Joe, gently demanding his attention. You’d had enough wine to delve into this conversation. And you had finally become fed up with how Joe always seemed more upset that you at the mention of your past.

“Kris and I were like… broken up or something for like, months near the end. Things weren’t good. All I’m saying is that things with him were over before they ended for real. And I don’t miss him. I don’t. I know I should. That’s what keeps me up at night. But I don’t miss him. So please don’t look at me like I’ve lost everything.” You spoke, reaching out touch Joe’s arm. He uncrossed them and turned to face you then with an answer.

“What happened to your 'it’s okay to be sad’ speech from last night?” Joe furrowed his brow, speaking a little louder than you had been to get his point across. But you didn’t feel better for talking about this, like you thought you might.

“This-” You sighed a groan, wanting to suddenly move far away from this topic. “This is different. My life in Wales died when Kris did, okay?” You decided, getting a little angry at the end of your sentence. You wanted to move on. That’s when Gwilym reappeared, a new drink in hand.

“Should we… maybe call it a night?” The lean Brit suggested, glancing between you and Joe. Your friend looked like he had more to say, but you couldn’t go on talking about it all tonight.

“No!” You demanded. “Sit down right now so we can have fun!” You’d gotten your first taste of good times after fearing they’d never come again, and you weren’t ready to give them up.

“This place is beautiful and I’m glad you picked it out, Joe.” You looked to him sincerely and his once-troubled expression softened. You hadn’t realized you left your hand on his knee until his fingers rested on top of yours.

///

After a few rounds of drinks and jokes about things you missed laughing about, you found yourself locked away in Joe’s guest room for the second night in a row; comfy in the sweatshirt you once asked to borrow (now sort of taken hostage.) Your phone rang as you turned down the bed, and you answered right away.

“Helllooo!” Tegan chirped from the other line right away, like she’d been waiting on to hear from you for weeks on end.

“What have I missed this time?” You laughed, snuggling against a heap of pillows.

“Me! You’ve missed me. Actually, I suddenly feel like I’m the one missing out.” Tegan playfully scoffed on the other line.

“Well, of course, I miss you but what are you talking about?” You wondered. Tegan knew the only activities that filled your days were sleeping, working and occasionally seeing Joe.

“I’m talking about the dreamboat in your Instagram post! What kind of bender are you on? Does he have a hot brother or would he be interested in-”

“Oh, God.” You cut her off with a laugh, afraid of what she might say next. “He’s Joe’s friend from the movie. And that’s all.”

“So he’s single and ready to dial my number then?”

“Well, he is Welsh.” You chided.

“I know, I stalked his profile long before this interrogation.”

“So then what’s with the twenty questions?” You laughed. Tegan never failed to keep you guessing.

“I was trying to get you to admit you miss me and this place so much that you’d found a tall handsome fellow to bring you back round.”

“No, no I’ll come back on my own someday, dear.”

“I know.” Tegan lowered her voice as if someone else might have been listening.

“I’ve got to find my sea legs though, yeah? I haven’t had a nightmare in a couple of weeks.” You proudly state, tossing the covers over your legs.

“That’s because you’re living the dream, honey,” Tegan stated, as if she really meant it, as if it wasn’t a joke.

After chatting a while longer about how she’d been managing the pub without you and filling you in on the happenings about the quaint little Welsh town, you had to call it a night when your eyes could hardly stay open.

After you hung up, your phone buzzed a few times in a row. Who could possibly try to be getting ahold of you now? You checked to find a notification from Instagram, about a new follower. Assuming Gwilym had just finally got around to liking the photo you posted featuring him, you went to go admire it one last time. But before your eyes focused on the photo in question, a shocking number arose from your notification button.

You had hundreds more followers and more than a thousand likes on your newest photograph. below hundreds of comments.

y'all are so CUTE!

Why is Joe tagged?

Is that his sister?

Where is Joe?

Oh shit, you thought. These boys really mattered to people who didn’t know them. They found you all because you’d tagged Gwilym and Joe. They wanted to know why Joe was tagged. They cared. The astounding influx of followers and likes alarmed you for a few seconds, as you stared at your profile, wondering if you should delete everything. But why? You were proud to finally have something to post about that wasn’t old a grey.

Just as you thought of closing out the app, another notification popped up, unlike all the rest. Joe had tagged you in a photo. He’d just posted the picture of the two of you that Gwilym had taken at the piano bar. The one of you drinking from the glass Joe is holding while you’re looking at each other. In his caption, only a couple of music note emojis.

///

Gwilym left the next afternoon, with a long face and a suitcase full of New York souvenirs. You hugged him for a long time at the loading gates of the airport and laughed when he lifted Joe off the ground for a hug of his own. You weren’t sure if you’d ever see Gwil again, because that’s how life worked. But instead of worrying over it, you felt happy to have gotten to know him.

Joe started the long drive back to your hometown. He blabbered on about how he needed to help his mom with something anyway so he was glad you came along in the first place, just so he could drop you back off again. But you started to feel bad about how long you’d spent mucking about Joe’s flat and wasting his newly valuable time.

“I can drive a little, if you want.” You nervously offered to spare him a little while of responsibility.

“Do you want to?” Joe shot a curious glance your way as he drove out of the city.

“I don’t mind.” Because, no you didn’t really want to. But you would.

“It’s okay,” Joe assured, settling back against his seat, both hands on the wheel.

“Well, then I can give you gas money, yeah?” You thought. You were suddenly desperate to pay him back somehow for the weekend.

“No,” Joe laughed unbelievably. “Why are you being weird?” He was still chuckling.

“Because! This weekend you’ve been absolutely way too generous. So let me do something for you! Are you hungry? I’ll get us dinner.” You waved your hands to make your point and turned to face Joe from the passenger seat.

“I guess I could eat, yeah.” Joe smiled, nodding his head toward the road as he drove. You were a couple of hours away from home, and thirty minutes from a few good stops.

“Alright! Cheesecake Factory. No buts! Step on it!”

“Do you have Stockholm Syndrome?” Joe outlandishly quizzed. You laughed. “Do I have Stockholm Syndrome?”

Joe continued to imagine insane scenarios all the way to the Cheesecake Factory. You skipped inside together and put your name in at the desk. There were three other families ahead of you in line, and a big party that had followed in just behind you and Joe. You didn’t mind the wait, and leaned against the wall next to Joe, clutching the restaurant buzzer in your fist.

“We’re going to tell them it’s your birthday, so get ready.” You smiled as if you were kidding, but you weren’t. There was a deep desperation in you that demanded you shower Joe with the kind of attention he’d shown you this weekend, and always now that you thought about it. You were tired of sulking. You were ready to get back to the way things should have always been.

“Why can’t we tell them it’s yours?” Joe jabbed your side, his sparkling eyes looking into yours with a question.

“Because tonight is very special all about you night.” You reminded as if this had always been clear.

“Alright well, I want to tell them it’s your birthday.” Joe decided, imitating a snotty brat, sticking his nose in the air as if to make his decision final. Just as you started to laugh and curse at him, someone snaked their way through the waiting area packed with people and stopped in front of you.

“You two!” A voice rang. You were looking at Joe when you heard it, and watched his eyes turn in recognition. A girl with mousy brown hair dyed blue at the tips stood in front of you, and she looked the same as she had in high school.

“Keeley!” You practically shrieked, pushing yourself from the wall to wrap her in a hug. Keeley was one of your closest friends from high school. She would invite you over to play guitar hero and help you cheat on homework. When you weren’t riding bikes around town with Keeley, you were usually with Joe, but on many treasured occasions you could be found at the baseball diamond as a trio, when her little brother was on the same team as Joe’s brother.

“I didn’t realize you were back in town.” Joe hugged the girl after you had your turn. She went to Chicago after graduating and you slowly stopped texting each other long-winded updates over the years, even forgoing checking in on social media. But there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings.

“I didn’t realize either of you were back in the country!” Keeley laughed, looking between you and Joe.

“Oh, God I’m sorry, babe-” Keeley turned around and wrapped her fingers around someone’s wrist. “This is my fiance Rebeca.” Keeley beamed a smile at a woman with big brown eyes and a timid smile.

“This is Y/N, who I will always be indebted to for getting kicked off the volleyball team when she took the blame for the time I slashed the principal’s tires.” Keeley fawned over you as you shook your head in remembrance.

“And this is Joe, our resident movie star and the only person who has ever beaten me at Scrabble.” Keeley gestured to Joe as her fiance cocked her head. You knew that look. Joe did too.

“Hey- weren’t you in that Queen movie?” Rebeca pointed up to Joe with a smirk. He let himself smile and started to give a coy nod as he turned his eyes toward you, for some reason.

“That’s why you were so excited to see it, huh?” Rebeca turned to Keeley and your old high school friend started to laugh.

“I’ll always go see your movies, Maz. I’ll even sit through shitty cop shows just to see that cute face of yours. You’re really good, ya know that?” Keeley gave Joe a playful punch in the arm when your buzzer started to go off.

“I’m still much better at Scrabble than anything else.” He smiled.

“Man, we’re being summoned.” You frowned, holding the timer in view.

“Call next time you’re in town!” Joe demanded toward the girls, preparing to follow you toward the desk. You reached out to give Keeley a quick hug. You waved to Rebeca and assured it was nice to meet her as the ladies turned to leave.

“Come on, birthday boy.” You grinned, looping your arm through Joes and foiling his plans to foil yours.

“It’s your birthday? Happy birthday!” Rebeca called over her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Joe sighed through his teeth, dragged you away giving you a look that made you laugh out loud. You totally won whatever game you were playing tonight.

But just nanoseconds before Keeley and Rebeca were out of earshot, you heard your friend’s fiance gush “They were so cute together!”

But you were too distracted by a friendly hostess to let the distant comment sink in.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[dancing-cockroaches]

196, 193, 185, 176, 156, 153, 149, 145, 134, 117, 97, 91, 87, 68, 36, 28, 24, 12, 11, 10, 5. You asked, you shall receive

Samathos at it, pleasing my ask hunger.

196 my eye color is: dark brown

193 my height is: 5'2

185 my favorite shampoo is: Function of Beauty. I let my hair airdry and it does not dry right if I don't use this shampoo.

176. Last youtube video watched: A Grandpa Sets His Clock Forward 1 Hour. This is What Happened To His Heart. Chubbyemu makes the wildest fckin medical videos

156. [I believe in] orbs. Well.. I believe that cameras get whacky with lighting sometimes, if that's referring to the weird glares that show up in photos that people think are ghosts or some shit for some reason.

153. Drunk or high. Uhhh depends on the high. Im not a fan of getting past a buzz, and weed doesn't agree with me, but I am a fan of gettin high on a bit of that sniff sniff powder on special occasions if you catch my drift.

149. Hot or cold. I'm on seroquel, which means I break out in itchy rashes when hot (thanks, heat intolerance side effect). So I love the cold, more control over my body temp as I can put on more layers if needed.

145. Night or day. Daytime. I'm exhausted by 7 pm unless I'm actually doing something fun that night, which is rare.

134. Singing or dancing? I can't sing for shit. Im bad at dancing but damn it's still fun anyway

117. Myspace. I was too young to really have enjoyed it, I made one when I was like 10 I think, but my mom got mad and made me delete it lol. Don't blame her, seemed like a dark place. I mean, Jeffree Star made music and Dahvie Vanity got his fame from there. Seemed fuckin cursed looking back on it.

97. Last time I swam in a pool: over a year ago, moved into an apartment with no pool so no swimming for me for the time being :(

91. Last time I broke the law: tax season. I didn't include my unemployment income info because I'm dumb and didn't know how. That counts as tax fraud or some shit doesn't it

87. The last movie I saw: Big Money Hustlers. Yes, the ICP movie. Yes, I only watched it because "stupid humor" is my favorite genre. But if documentaries count as movies, then that one on Prime called Nuts that's about some crazy quack doctor in the 40s who put goat testicles in people.

68. The worst sound in the world: the sound of my stepdad chewing. "Dad noises" (throat clearing, grunts, other ungodly noises that dad's make for some reason). Loudly chewing gum irritates me too.

36. My favorite vehicle: kia soul. I can't drive yet I know that's the car I'm getting when I get my license

28. Band: ahh geez I don't listen to a lot of bands. Uhh.. System of a Down

24. My favorite movie: Borat. That answer shows I don't watch a lot of movies doesn't it. Borat 2 is being made so you can try and understand my excitement.

12. Favorite thing to cook: mac n cheese with BBQ seasoning in it

11. Favorite food: mac n cheese with BBQ seasoning in it. That's why I love makin it so much.

10. Favorite restaurant: Texas Roadhouse. Because of the rolls.

5. Favorite color: silver

[obsession-squidfessions-blog]

one of the most popular of the cam portals

MyFreeCams, one of the most popular of the cam portals, has a domain registered to a Leo Radvinsky, and a legal contact in the Netherlands.Entirely unsurprisingly, it's impossible to get in touch with any of the people who actually run these networks. None of the above entities from LiveJasmin, Streamate, or MyFreeCams responded to efforts to confirm that they do indeed exist and have some affiliation with the websites in question. All that's available is a semi-robotic technical support chat, which fields basic questions about how to use the site and credit card processing. These web cam kingpins might as well not exist. We don't know where the money goes.Domino wakes up at 8 am every morning and performs booked shows for clients paying between $US90 and $US120 an hour. That's about sixteen times her state minimum wage, and she doesn't have to leave her bedroom. If a client wants to book through MyFreeCams rather than sending money directly, Domino charges double. There's not a cent lost to a middle man. It seems like a pretty swell setup: "I love my job," Domino gushes. "I can work when I want to, as much as I want to, [and] nobody can tell me how to do my job. She's right. At her strip club, she was required to come in four to five days a week, spinning on a pole. Now, she can work all day. Or not at all. The last time we spoke, she was working on an ebook project, spending her time as she pleased.Since the dawn of streaming, the porn industry has been suffering financially. As people have started watching and uploading porn on tube sites for free, the days of big-budget porn and making a lot of money as a porn star are fading away. At the same time, though, streaming has also spawned a supplement to the porn industry that cant be replicated: camming.

Exactly! That's where I got my first taste of sex positivity. Going through my relationships and going to university I was like ‘woah, nobody thinks the way I do, I must be weird'. But being a webcam model, I realised everyone is into something different, they just feel like they can't talk about it.If abuse were such a big problem, Anna says, then why would any Romanian girls bother with it at all? Why wouldn't they just find some other job? In a country whose GDP only stopped shrinking two years ago, with 20 per cent of the population living below the poverty line and personal income levels far below Kazakhstan, Iran and Gabon, that question answers itself. There's a reason Anna's so happy to be independent from her former employers, a status she equates with nothing less than her "freedom".Sometimes self-­regulation regarding finances is the best option for some people: Ive been treated better and more fairly as a Cam Girl and nude model than I was in my last retail job where I, no word of a lie, got fired for looking sad. Yet despite how much control one can have over their career as a Cam Girl there are certainly discrepancies within the industry, including safety issues and issues of future employability, as well as what is considered a fair payment and no guarantee on a basic minimum wage for hours put in. It leaves a lot up to chance.Working an eight-hour day, she earns close to 4,000 euros (£3,600) per month - nearly 10 times the Romanian average wage. As Lana's employer, Studio 20 also makes 4,000 euros per month from her online sessions. And at the top of the video chat money-making pyramid, LiveJasmin - the online cam site that streams Studio 20's content and is responsible for collecting payment from the credit cards of clients - takes double that: 8,000 euros.

It happened through a friend of a friend of mine. Thats usually how these things go. She had found, through a network of girls, a website that paid decent money for cam girling if you put the work in. I signed up, submitted my name, ID, bank details and some photos and within 24 hours I was approved as a bonafide Cam Girl ­with no bloody idea of what I was doing.But some women are not free to make the choices Lana has. Oana, 28, counts herself as an escapee from the sex industry. At 16 - a minor - she fell in love with a boyfriend who persuaded her to do video chat.It depends on the profile that you set up because when you make a profile, you write a little bio about yourself, and my bio might be seen as a little more out there'. I'm open to anything, like roleplay, so a lot of the time I get roleplay requests, more just because I find them fun no matter how unusual or bizarre they are. What excites me are uncommon and unusual requests that you wouldn't really come across. Life's too boring otherwise.But despite fulfilling all my internet male expectations, Anna's impossible to really pin down. On both IM and video chat, she's prone to mannerisms and quips that make you want to pay for her time. A lot of it. She's beautiful without surfeit, an honest form that's pleasing even over a low-resolution video stream. Her English is fantastic, her personality disarming. She'll sit casually, like a girl the morning after a sleepover, musing about her cats and future. When she first "performed" for me on camera, discarding her herd of cats and cigarette for a bottle of baby oil, a few alarmed neurons felt like I should rush to Bucharest and wrap a blanket around her. Her innocence is a cool switch. The tokens evaporated. CONTINUED BELOW...

[aheartyouonceknew]

The Love that nearly destroyed me.

This is a detailed account of my experience of my love with a blogger and ex fiance, this is my story.

 (please forgive any grammatical errors)

A bit of back story, i met her through a family member. When we first met were attracted to each other almost instantly. We drove to Vegas and saw all the casino's and had a blast. As time went on we both grew even more attracted to each other and before the end of the first night we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. On the second night we are getting ready to go out and I am looking in the mirror and I jokingly tease 'would you date me? Id date me' while doing a silly flex.  

'what are you gay or something?' She asks me.

'I say no im 100% sure im straight but I have made out with guys before and realised it wasn’t for me.'

She goes wide eyed and freezes up. I ask her what's wrong, but she refuses to look at me or even touch me. I then realised she actually may be homophobic, and I tell her im not gay. She is stone cold. I then realised she as a practicing Christian, that this was a big no no for her.

I tell her that’s all in the past, and that I am comfortable with who I am. She refuses to speak to me or look at me, so i give up and I leave the room upset. 

Later that night after dinner, I see her again, she tells me not to talk about it again and we should just forget about it. We have a blast in Vegas, get very drunk. We have this amazing connection and attraction towards her. Sadly the trip had to end but we both decide to meet again.

A couple of days later i meet in her home town in a motel, met her little one and it was fantastic. That same night i get a message from my ex gf asking how my trip was. She glares at me, demanding to know who I was talking to. I panic and casually tell her 'just an old friend.' She demands to know who it is and asks me for my phone. I oblige, she tgen scrolls and see's old texts of my ex and i.

She flips out.

Bare in mind this was less then a week of knowing each other. I didn’t even get a chance to delete my Tinder (to which she saw). I tried to explain to her that this was all moving so fast and I hadnt had the time to sort all these things or even consider them at the time.

So we are in the motel room and she flips out, grabbing her things and is ready to leave. Im on my knee's telling her im sorry etc. She looks at me and asks me what I am willing to do to be with her. I say anything. She says 'ok delete and create a new facebook'.

Im shocked, over 10 years of memories and family photos? Gone?

I tell her I cant do that cause those were too sentimental.

She then decides she wants me to block and delete any female friends I had a relationship sexual or non sexual, she then demands I delete my Snapchat and Instagram accounts. I obliged.

The next thing I regret doing so the most, is to my ex gf of mine.

She tells me to message her, and tell her that I don’t ever want to talk to her ever again (within those terms). I did so, and I felt like a scumbag for hurting thst poor girl that did nothing ill towards me.

After a long hours talk of me asking for forgiveness, we make up.

A week later she decides to bring herself and her little one to my mums house to feel how we are together. My dream is to be a father and I would love her child like my own. 

So we are at the house and it was the most perfect week of my life, it was bliss and I knew I wanted this. After the week ended I then realised I had one week left. We were both devastated as I had to fly back to Bali to work for my dad. I then wanted to prove my commitment to her (because I was in love with her at the time) .

So that night I went into my backyard while she was in the living room and dressed up in a black suit and lit an array of candles in my back yard.  I messaged her to come out, and I was standing there, she smiled beautifully and kept laughing, I grabbed her by the had and said, 'I may not have much right now, so I cant give you a ring. But what I can give you is a promise that I want to share my life with you.' I then turned to her little one and gave a solem vow to protect her and care for her as my own. 

The next day we contact her parents, and they are shocked and scared. Everything is happening so quickly, too quickly they say. But after a long talk, the father and mother gave me their blessing. I promised to take care of their daughter and gave them my word. Lots of tears of joy were shed. 

The day arrives when I have to leave, I take the plane back and meet my dad and step mum. I told my dad that I was engaged and he gives me this sour look, 'you only knew her for less then a month, what do you know of love?'.

My dad had promised me work to build echo friendly villas, to which he promised me a stable income in which I could provide for her and her little one when they were here. 

What my dad didn’t tell me was that a deal he had fell through, and that the money that was supposed to come in to build the resort wont be available so the resort building is postponed.  He tells me I can work for him as a manager, but will only pay me when the business starts to take off and I show my worth.  

I am furious.

I had this whole plan that I was relying on my dad, I believed in him to keep his word. Now that it had fell through not only did I feel like I lied to her but her family as well. I asked my dad would it be ok if she was welcome to come live here? 

 He said of course, I'll support her in any way I can. So I talked to my Fiance and she asks 'will he buy us the tickets?As I already spent hundreds of dollars on passports and luggage.'

 I tell her he said any way he can.

 I then have a conference call with my dad and fiance. My fiance asks when can he book the tickets for the trip?

I never said that he says.

He explains when he will support her anyway he can means when she gets here with her own money. (take in mind I left my old job in australia and have $0 to my name) So another lie in her eyes and to her family.

 I talk to my dad and I tell him, if she cant be here then Im going back to the US, he says ok. ‘If you really love her I'll pay for your ticket’. I tell her about me going back, she asks if there is anything I can do to make some money?  I tell her I have my camera and gopros that I could sell. She says 'good sell them' I hesitate, the camera's have sentimental value as they were the first gift my dad ever sent me. She then takes my hesitation as a message of unloyalty. She then yells abuse at me over and over, repeating my faults and telling her of her willingness to sacrifice everything. (to which I understand).

 I then promise her to sell the cameras to get my tickets to the US as my dad has proven unreliable. But I hold back from selling the camera's, I don’t tell her about this as I am hoping my dad will follow through.

That night my dad is upset at me for coming here and giving up on the family for '' some chick in the US''. I felt torn on both ends, but I do love my fiance and I will fight for her. He tells me if that’s the case then I ill receive no support from him. 

 Later that night I responded to all the well wishes of the engagement, an old french high school friend (who is a lesbian) contacted me. I say thank you beautiful as I nickname her beautiful as I have always done. I then get a phone call of my fiance yelling at me saying I shouldn’t compliment any girl, and that I should be her main focus. I try to explain my reasoning but she wouldn’t listen so again I apologies and accept defeat.

 A couple of days go by and my fiance asks if I had posted the cameras, I said not yet but I am doing so now. More hurled abuse, more fighting. I post the camera's and get terrible prices for them that would barely get me to the US.

 Later that night my fiance calls me up, she is so happy. My mum and her have decided to pitch in to get me here, and that I can sell the camera's in the US for a better price. And that it would be best if we move to Australia together and when I get settled I can pay her and my mum back for the ticket.

But there was a catch,

I have to leave the next night. My fiance urges me to tell my dad of me leaving but I don’t. I hold off in telling my dad at the last second as he had my passport in holding, I feared he would refuse to give me my passport and not let me leave.

When i finally have the passport in my hands i decode to break the news to him.

He is devastated.

I then feel sorry for him and I give him one of my best go pro's to use for his surfing and that he can pay me whatever feels right. So later that night I fly to the US.

Once I arrived, we finally met. She decided to stay at my mothers house while my mother was in paris on a holiday, it would just be me and her.  

It was as if a day had not gone by, the same feelings arose and all was well. I took care of her little one by changing the diapers, feeding, and playing. I was in bliss, I wanted to prove to her and show her I could do this. One thing that I never told her was I did feel a lot of shame how I left things with my dad, and I was quite upset, but I put on a smile whenever I could. Later that day i get a message from my dad and found out my dad decided to just pay me $100 ¼ of what the camera was worth, i kind of minded on the sale being so cheap.  

She also was not happy, she yells at me, demanding that I pay her the money I owe her by selling the camera's. The next day I successfully sell part of my camera sets and pay her back and she is happy.

 One day I am feeling very horny, I tease her and I am extra affectionate towards her. I tell her she is beautiful and does this to me and that I am so lucky to have a girl like her. As the day goes by I am still like a dog on heat. She leads me to the bed room. I get super excited and playful, she then pushes me away and says 'im going to masturbate now.'  Im like 'awesome sure let me help'.

‘No, I dont want you touching me but we can masturbate side by side’.

At first I thought she was joking, but at the same time I am extremely hurt.

I think to myself...

 'Did I do anything wrong?'

'Is she still attracted to me?'

So I am visibly upset I get up and put my clothes on and leave the room.  After about 20 minutes she comes out and I am still upset at her.  I tell her Im just going to lie down for a bit, she lays next to me and asks if im ok and apologises for not wanting to sleep with me as she wasnt feeling well. I then tell her don’t worry about it, I'll get over it.  I then jokingly told her that I kinda went to lie down so I could masturbate as I needed to release myself.

 She then leaves the room. I then emerge from the room relaxed and satisfied. She is scowling at me packing her bags.... She is furious that I decided to masturbate and demanded if I masturbated to other girls or to porn? 

I am in disbelief as I felt like there were some double standards.  It’s the hotel room all over again, I beg for her not to leave, but she decides to stay.

 *Just a note, I respect a women's choice to refuse sex to a man if she doesn’t feel like it. But I cant help to feel upset.*

 A couple of days go by my mother returns from paris and she goes back to her home town. We both plan on me visiting her family and me staying at her dads or sisters house while there. Unfortunately they both said they couldn’t house me.  She then asks to sell the rest of the gear so I could rent a motel for us to stay. I agree. After the phone call i talk to my mum and tell her everything, my mum says that its only fair i pay her back as well, since i did so with Carolyn.

Yet again I am at a crossroads, but I made a promise to pay my mother back so I agreed to pay my mum. I told my fiance that I will still be seeing her but I would only stay for during the day as I cant afford the motel. She is furious, 'what about the money from the camera gear?' I try to explain to her. But she refuses to listen. Yelling above my voice not giving me a chance to speak she tells me not to come, and that she is sick of the empty promises I never fulfil.  She removes our engagement status and blocks me on all forms of social media.

 I am devastated, im a heaping sobbing mess to my mum. I love her I really do....I cry. I decided to accept things as they were, so I decided to install Tinder (more to which to heal my wounds and insecurities of being dumped). With the app installed im staring at the swipe screen, and I just cant do it. So I uninstall the app.

 I decided to heal the bridges I destroyed and contacted my old ex. I call her just telling her i was sorry for what I had said/done. 

 'You really hurt me, you really really hurt me' she cried. I cried.

 'But I forgive you, because I don’t believe in holding onto hate.' I cry again.

  After the talk I felt better that she accepted my apology, but sad knowing things may never be as they were. But it felt good to hear her laugh again.

Later that night I was trying to relax when I get a phone call. 

Its my now ex fiance. 

 I ask her what does she want? She then tells me she didn’t feel like things ended correctly and wanted to make things right. I had enough 

Correctly? None of this has ended correctly. I yell.

 I tell her that the real reason she is calling is to mask this guilt, I told her I did my best with the cards I was dealt but it was never enough. But to know I at least tried and never gave up on her. The real person who is given up is you. 

 I then hung up. (and yes that was dramatic as it was in the heat of the moment).

 She calls me back, and I ask her. Do you really love me?  Yes shes tells me. My heart ache's.

I then tell her that i love her and that I will see her tomorrow to have a real talk.

 The next day I take the train to see her, she hops out of the uber and is skipping towards me in a joyful mood. Im cold and numb by this point, i have an emotional barrier up. She hugs me, kissing my arm etc.  

'Lets talk.'

We go into the café and sit across from each other in an awkward silence.  I tell her I am doing the best I can, and that I believe once I am in control of my own life in Australia we can finally have a normal life. She tells me she loves me and wants that too. She wants things to work, and I really felt like she does.  We make up and everything is perfect again, but then she stops and has this smile...Like she is looking forward to something. 

She then asks, 'Did you install Tinder?' 

 I am completely caught off guard and blurt out 'no', as I uninstalled the app. She pulls out the phone in this satisfied smile and ask 'then whats this?' Showing my tinder profile.

 I tell her that yes, i installed it but never used it. 

 'have you been talking to any other girls on social media?'

 I decided to tell the truth.

‘Yes, my ex...but only to sa-’,She then gets up and leaves

 'if your talking to her again why don’t you just be with her.' And she walks out.

 And that’s when I felt like I was done, emotionally just done.

A couple weeks have gone by, and she's moved on.

 Although I do look her up from time to time, I am glad that she is happy, I decided to tell this story because I felt like this is part of my healing process. I really did love her. But i dont think she ever loved me.

 I felt like she loved the idea of me being a father role, but never really loved me.

 She is a hypocrite in most cases on her stances towards men, but that is her reality. I respect her beliefs and her views to empower women but at the same time its contradictory, I dont judge her on her stance towards homosexuality or if religious views.

 I moved my life for a love that never deserved or appreciated me, the control factor is scary. The mind games of her holding onto that tinder info waiting to use it on me like a loaded gun showed me she enjoys the control over men. 

 But don’t get me wrong, this poor girl has been through so much and I understand her distrust towards men (its why I put up with everything). At the same time I do feel sorry for her because of the men in her past has left her broken, its the sad fact of one persons crazy is another persons reality. 

If any of you that read this, that has suffered from emotional abuse please dont  hesitate to reach out.

[swyllh]

[junshua] your text here iii

title: your text here

premise: jun is an editor at pledis daily. he’s busy wooing his neighbour, joshua hong. no narratives, text-only.

genre: humour

pairing: junshua

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 (soon)

boo seungkwan’s relationship advice column: boy next door or friendly neighbore?

hello lovely readers!

thank you for submitting all of your queries, albeit under several variations of the same name. this week’s column will be themed after wooing your neighbour, and/or trying to catch his attention.

from wejuhu: what do you do if your neighbour has the best singing voice and he sings every morning and you end up being late to work because you’re listening to him singing?

boo: ooh! it’s terrible to mix your personal and professional life together. if listening to him singing is compromising your professional work ethic, consider setting alarms on your phone so you’ll get out of the house on time.

-

from junhwen: is it rude to leave flowers for your neighbour in his mailbox?

boo: ah, flowers! they’re the most neutrally-accepted gesture of romancing. i wouldn’t consider it rude, just a little odd. might be best to give them personally! no orange lilies this time ;)

-

from huijuwen: how do you talk to your neighbour?

boo: oh boy, that really depends. most people use their mouths.

-

from huiwenjun: if my neighbour, hypothetically, really likes a certain artist, is it weird for me to get him an album from that artist?

boo: there are generally four main components of the economy – consumption, investment, government expenditure, and net exports. when there is an increase in consumption, aggregate demand increases, leading to a multiplier effect where the initial increase of demand and resultant production leads to an increase in income, thus spurring on consecutive rounds of demand and production. national income will increase until the initial increase in expenditure is matched by the increase in withdrawals. go ahead and get him that album, ‘huiwenjun’.

vernon @hansolo

#nowplaying idfc by blackbear

huiwenjun @divaboo

@hansolo @whyjunhui blackbear alert!

wen junhui @whyjunhui

@divaboo @hansolo ive said it before – it’s //not me

huiwenjun @divaboo

@whyjunhui @hansolo right,,,,, those asks were not sent in from the email address wenjunhui.pledisnews.co

vernon @hansolo

@divaboo @whyjunhui is this about joshua?

wen junhui @whyjunhui

@hansolo @divaboo why does everyone know

vernon @hansolo

@whyjunhui @divaboo we’re listening to the album you bought him

vernon @hansolo

@whyjunhui @divaboo *the album he found in his mailbox

from: do not answer!!!!!

look, i’m calling for an intervention

from: do not answer!!!!!

you can’t just leave gifts in joshua’s mailbox

from: do not answer!!!!!

hansol says he’s mildly creeped out already!!!

from: do not answer!!!!!

ok tbh joshua just thinks he’s gotten a misdelivery

from: do not answer!!!!!

even though it had his name on it

from: do not answer!!!!!

jun i know you’re reading this

from: do not answer!!!!!

wen jun hui!

huiwenjun @divaboo

@whyjunhui you can’t run from me forever!!!

to: me

from: booseungkwan.pledisdaily

subject: dude stop ignoring me

how are you such a hermit crab and a mirror-loving ass at the same time??

boo seungkwan has posted on your wall: wen junhui if you do not reply me by 1200 est i will personally take a knife to your flat and carve…

boo seungkwan has liked a post from your timeline!

boo seungkwan has liked a post from your timeline!

boo seungkwan has liked a photo from your timeline!

boo seungkwan has liked a photo from your timeline!

-

block user?

yes | cancel

starship entertainment @starship.ent

[regional] pigeon carriers in my what? it’s more likely than you think! witnesses reportedly saw 12 pigeons flying from @pledisdaily headquarters since morning. more at noon.

starship entertainment @starship.ent

[regional] concerned members of the public have been filing police reports against the disturbances caused by @pledisdaily’s pigeon carriers.

starship entertainment @starship.ent

[regional] power outrage at @pledisdaily headquarters suspected to be due to damaged wiring. the culprit? pigeons.

plebis – 7 now online

chan has joined the chat.

chan: wow ive never seen scoups so angry

dk: ?? whats up

chan: lecture

hosh: sum1s ben rearign carier pgieons

jeonghan: someone’s been training street pigeons to deliver letters

dk: :O wow!!!!!11!

jihoon: what

minghao: it’s jun

dk: can we get a pigeon

jihoon: no

jeonghan: jun??

chan: is he always this… uh

hosh: dadddy?

jeonghan: longwinded?

chan: close

chan: yes jeonghan

dk: whats happening sound s exciting!

hosh: i almot red sexciting

dk: *sounds sorry!!!

minghao: don’t be sorry

seungkwan has joined the chat.

jun has left the chat.

seungkwan: oh my god

hosh: ikr hes planing 2 increas overtime?????????

seungkwan: that

seungkwan: bitch

dk: :O

minghao: same

seungkwan: i mean jun

minghao: oh

dk: :OOOO

chan: oh no rip jun

minghao: rip jun

jeonghan: rip jun

hosh: rip jun

dk: rip jun

dk: wait whats goign on

seungkwan: ^

seungkwan: im covering up all reflective surfaces, at toilet 3 now

chan: scoups figured out it was jun

chan: all the bird shit on his desk

seungkwan: …

seungkwan: rip jun

from: do not answer!!!!!

carrier pigeons really

to: do not answer!!!!!

you were flooding out my phone???

from: do not answer!!!!!

if you talked to me i wouldn’t have to flood your phone

to: do not answer!!!!!

stop trying to smoke me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to: do not answer!!!!!

im 3hrs behind my regular scheduled selfies and vanity!!!!!!!!!!!

from: do not answer!!!!!

i n t e r v e n t i o n

joshua hong has sent you a friend request!

accept | decline

[caszscountrycraftsblog]

For those of you who do not know me I thought Id write a little about myself. I have been fighting cancer for nearly 10 years now, I used to run a local charcoal chicken shop in town but had to resign from that instantly when I found out I had an aggressive Mouth & Oesophagus Cancer in July, 2009.

I was operated on 24 hours after that diagnose and didn't return home for another 4 months only to have another week home and than travel down to Melbourne for Radiation therapy treatment, I came home 3 months later and I was told to expect to die within a four year time period so my hopes weren't exactly high back then and I was told to make the best of what time I had left with my family, partner & children.

My life has never been been the same since that day and to everyone's surprise including myself I have survived this long. I developed necrosis in October, 2015 from having to much radiation therapy which meant I had radiation poisoning and by the time my condition was diagnosed again it was pretty serious. My left side of my jaw had four break in it my chin 2 and the right side of my jaw had completely disintegrated. So major surgery again and once again I had to put my life on hold again and another 3 month stay in hospital and 18 months recovering from the surgery.

I am still having surgeries done to have my lower face , mouth and pallet reconstitution I now need due to the fact the surgery Id initially had done to give me time was done by learner and hadn't been done correctly. I have also been un tongue tied as he had sewed the underneath of my tongue on backwards after they cut it in half so am slowly regaining some of my speech and eating and although they will never be the same again i'm alive and have some function, my weight fluctuates to much but to be honest Im just happy to be alive for whatever time I have left on this earth with those I love and who are in my life now.

I lost a lot of friends and even a few family members during my struggle to live not because I was dying but more the fact they didn't know how to cope to with it or had to much going on there own lives to fit me in. I've had a total of 34 operations now so far and have another 2 Im about to face early next year in 2019, I see my plastic surgeon again next week for more news on that one. 

I dont have a survivor status yet again as I lost that in 2015 & have another 2 years to on that one before I call myself a survivor again but I already consider myself there as one especially as Im still alive 9 years later & nearly 10 years on my diagnosis. At times I get a little depressed and yes feel sorry for myself mainly because I was no longer earning an income’as I've worked all my life and having buried and lost a lot of family during this time with the age Im now at and is to be expected but it still hurts and no mater how long time goes you miss those you bury.

From all of this struggle I have crochet and knitted, especially with spending so much time in hospital and at home it gave me something to do taking my mind off a lot of it all including the pain. Home time has also meant a heck of a lot of therapy for speech, lymphodema therapy and physiotherapy. i have learnt to walk on a leg with the back none missing from lower right leg so instead of 2 bones in that leg I have only 1 as that was what they used to make a new jaw for me. 

   A new technique devised by the 6 surgeons who flew in to work on me from through out the world that was to be 24 hour surgery but they pulled me out at 18 hours due to blood flow difficulties and not finished which is why I cant be fully finished now. My cheek was reconstructed from  muscle in my shoulder and ive had numerous skin grafts so far one more to go again yet though early in 2019. Those scar I wear with pride to be honest and being a part of new techniques being the guinea pig has been both exciting & frighting.

From all this pain, death, travel to hospitals and my interest with wool growing I've gone from crochet & knitting to dying wool and am now learning to spin wool. Something I hope to earn an income from for the rest of my living life. I didn't initially choose wool as an income but more for therapy but from that gift of life and living, my friends & family Casz’s Country crafts was born and I am slowly putting my business together on line through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and of course Tumbler.

Casz’s Country Craft’s is slowly growing with support from all of you online. I now have a blog called Wednesday’s Pattern Pick’s where after a lot of internet searching I find free patterns to post which you are able to download free in PDF format, there is also  no  subscription for this as Im unable to do it every week but will do it as often as I can on a Wednesday so it’s there for everyone to access on a Thursday.

I am producing a quarterly newsletter which has interesting facts and articles about wool in it, free patterns again which are not published on the website & coupons for you to use throughout a 10 week time period repeatedly. So you have time to save and budget for what you would like to buy. The Newsletter is every 3 months and the only time it is not published is when I have surgery & recovery time.

I have bamboo needles for sale, hand dyed dk yarn atm that has dyed by me that is a superwash plus some imported yarns from italy & germany, I also sell crochet & knitting Accessories, Needles and notions plus a few patterns for you to all access and from 2019 I hope to Knit Pro needles in stock for you all directly from here in Victoria Australia.

I do hope though that my store will succeed with over time and support by the online community and that over time my health will improve more and I can enjoy life more after hospitals and operations.

The same cancer killed my father at 59 which is how old I am, my grandfather died at 42 from  a brain tumour and I lost my other grandparents, nan and pop with only my mother and 1 aunt still surviving so not a lot of family remaining now, my mum says shes going to live to 106 I believe her as my grandmother was 99. The women in my family have had to be strong and inspirational and adaptive for there times so its no wonder I've plodded along with my life, my 4 children now live with the threat of cancer which saddens me immensely, i do hope they have long, happy and prosperous lives though.

So out of cancer A Woollen Fibre Business has been born & due to what I've gone through new surgeries & techniques have been developed with me being the guinea pig, lol. However 4 other patients who normally to wouldn't be helped are now receiving help due to the new techniques and my surgeon has trained 6 other doctors from various hospitals. So for that I am grateful that some good has come out of this horrible disease.

I’d love for you to have a look at my website store, maybe join our Facebook page or Follow our Instagram sites or Pintrest Site to see what Im up to plus of course follow my journey as it you the online reader that i need to follow me and who also buy’s from me plus of course share my posts to get the word out about my business, as at the moment I can't afford to pay for advertising. 

Which everyone keeps telling Im probably going to fail with not doing paid advertising as they dont believe in the power of you the reader or me the fighter the person trying to rise out of hospitals, death and cancer. I do though believe in the internet the power of the reader the power of the reader and that I can in fact make an income running a small business from home with illness, major disabilities and survive all of this coming our of it with both my Cancer survivor Status, A life & A income.

So Please Follow My Journey! & my Online store., link is on the words online store and Casz’s Country Craft’s throughout my blog.

Come visit my store at http:caszscountrycrafts.store If you crochet or Knit I am also after garments to sell online in my store for people plus sell our wares at local community markets which I do fortnightly a fee of $10 is taken from the sale price to cover the costs of flyers and advertising that I do plus of course help cover the cost of running of the website, everything else I do at my own costs including packaging, photos & labels, the rest of the money is yours which goes directly into your bank at point of sale. How can I do this I can because I Live EFTPOS Facilities, Pay Pal & E-Square Point of sale payment systems in place plus of course the online store checkout facilities.

Im also after Indi Dyers to add more woollen varieties to my store and farmers who produce clean wool tops for me to buy. Im after Corridale, merino, Angora & Alpaca Fibres to spin together.

I've a lady in Tasmania who makes my notions for me eg; broaches & stitch marker sets, plus a lady in South Australia who makes top whorl spinners for me. So if you'd like to join our team and become a team member please contact me. Join me and my journey in something that I feel is developing into something special!

So if you to work from from home running a small business with something associated crochet & knitting please email me at caszscountrycrafts@gmail.com include a letter and photos there, if you've no photos and just want to make an enquiry you can email info@caszscountrycrafts.store

Im currently updating our postage prices as Australia post have updated the outgoing mail prices again and expanding our postage outside of Australia atm so am about to include Ireland, Singapore, China, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Canada, USA plus of course England and Austral Asia.

So come join us and become a Team member of Casz’s Country Craft’s or Follow us as we put together a Crochet & Knitting Textile Store that I truly believe will develop into something special online! 

” Where Yarn Crochet & Knitting Come Together!”

Carey @ Casz’s Country Craft’s

[morningpages-louise]

Sept. 14, 2018

It's friday, and apparently there's no school today due to the incoming typhoon ondong. it hasn't come yet, in fact its been pretty sunny and humid this whole week which makes me wonder if its really even coming.. im just chilling, sipping my coffee and im happy because i havent seen a cockroach since yesterday :D are they all really gone? ABANGAN. lol anyways i have just finished cooking my breakfast and i am currently writing this, sipping a cup of coffee. after this, i will do some yoga and then plan out the rest of my day. a task i have to really do is wash my damn underwear lol ive been putting it out like crazy. im sorry the task seems hella tiring and time consuming. im listening to monsoon by hippo campus. i love the song man. this week has been weird. its first week pa lang so school work isnt exactly heavy but i still feel consumed i think its because of the habits i try to impose myself. i always know that it is actually impossible to do just everything i set out to do in my habits, but i try my best to complete at least a couple you know. it's just to make sure i am aligned and centered with myself. but it should never be strictly followed. yesterday i was also feeling frustrated with myself due to my shyness which people may at times perceive as being snobby, but im not snobby im just really awkward and shy :( huhu i really have to come out of my box that im hiding in, it's like the longer i stay in college, the more shy i get especially in class lol :( but yeah something i wish i could break the habit of. maybe a self help book will help with that lol ive started watching shark tank. uhm who tf am i becoming lol im becoming like steve jobs or something and im even considering getting an MBA lol i dont know ive just been in a business phase atm and the show makes me feel smart but in reality i dont know half of the things they're talking about there, like what is equity, i mean i know it means share but like how do they estimate, and they ask all these things like breakeven point and shit and im just like uhm maybe i shouldnt have given up on my cob subjects so easily you know but yeah plus points for ashton kutcher and the bald guy fueds lol oh ashton, didn't know you were such a serious guy :D so yeah after this i have to take into account the photo that my dad wanted me to take and then i will have to go to makati to get ready for monica's despedida. im only excited for the free food. and to see the prettiness of the venue lol but not so excited on seeing the people.. ofcourse aside from my fam and kharla and kris's mom hehe so yeah how to find the motivation at times i swear it can be so difficult at times. but i will get there. it's 11 now so babush i shall get on and get started on this day.

[innerkryptonitebanana-blog]

[GET] Grahpic Design Academy PLR DOWNLOAD

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[GET] Grahpic Design Academy PLR DOWNLOAD

[GET] Grahpic Design Academy PLR DOWNLOAD

Grab PLR Rights To This Sizzling Hot Graphic Design Course…

** “Learn Graphic Design Basics Using Free Online Software” **

THEN SELL IT AND KEEP 100% PROFITS

PROVEN topic in a smoking hot niche

High demand online training

All the work is done for you! Edit & go!

Sell & keep 100% Profit!

Build your OWN buyers list to mail!

Easily build an army of AFFILIATES that will sell your products over and over again!

Order Your Copy Now- This is a Limited Time Offer and Will Be Removed Soon…

Grab Graphic Design Academy For Pennies!  PRIVATE LABEL license

This is a Limited Time Offer …

Dear Entrepreneur:  Did you know that 50% of small businesses choose to do their own graphic design, or hire in house?  I don’t know the stats, but I bet the number of internet marketers who choose to do some or all of their graphics editing is MUCH higher than 50%!

Graphics creation tools sales are astronomical! There are a lot of us and we are all looking for solutions and many of us are on a shoestring budget… BUT, one thing you don’t see much of are tutorials on HOW TO use some of the tools that are available.  I know MANY marketers, and most of them would rather use free software and create their own graphics, than buy Photoshop and hire a designer to do it.

Think about this for a moment… because there’s an opportunity here.

We all can probably think of at least one tool, online and free, for creating and editing graphics.  I bet most of us would want to learn how to be competent using that tool.

What if YOU could teach people HOW to create their own professional,  show stopping graphics,  using FREE readily available online software?

Heck that might even be something you want to learn yourself! 

WELL NOW YOU CAN!

INTRODUCING

“Graphic Design Academy”

You and your customers learn how to design and edit graphics using free software!

PERSONAL USE As a student, you can learn simple graphic design tricks on a free online software called Canva.

PLR LICENSE HOLDER As an entrepreneur, just download the ready-to-go files, make a few simple edits, upload to your server & start selling.

[GET] Grahpic Design Academy PLR DOWNLOAD

High Quality Video Course

Proven To Sell

-With PLR-

Not only will you learn a lot from the course yourself, BUT you also get PLR (Private Label Rights)! You can put your name on it, make it your own,  and start putting money in your pocket as soon as today!

Starting an Online Business Sounds Hard!

That’s the beauty of this course!  We’ve taken all the intimidation factor away, and have provided easy steps that anyone can follow to start a business from home!  Not to mention, it’s in one of the hottest niches in online marketing! How To and DIY are a couple of the most popular search terms EVER! Solid information sells like hotcakes!

Why Is This Course So POPULAR?

Well that’s easy! Everyone who is not building an online business yet, wants to. And everyone who is building an online business would be thrilled with some extra streams of income

If YOU can show them an easy, inexpensive way to get results, they are going to BEG you to take their money, and THANK you for it!

What Students are Saying About the course… “GRAPHIC DESIGN ACADEMY”

Iu2019ve been around the IM space for over 10 years now and what I can say is that many of the u201cmake money online methodsu201d presented are total BS. In this course you will actually see methods that have been tested and work. Your customers are going to love this product!

Stoica

Hype is the keyword that the MMO Space is known for. Many products, many launches, a lot of excitment and few results from students. I love it when someone actually shows you how to build an online business that works.

Cyril Gupta

Most of the products in the PLR space are created just to be sold as PLRs and itu2019s nothing wrong with that. But, if I have to choose between a product I can resell which is already proven to sell and a nomral PLR, I will choose the first option anytime. With this course you get a product proven to sell that also has PLR rights and not just your average PLR. This can be a goldmine for YOU!

Marius Price

Now I’m going to tell you a secret. 

I’m not a graphic designer, and yet I started a 6 figure business, creating and editing graphics using a free software.  And while I did use a couple of stock images on this site, all of the graphics were either created and/or edited by me using free software!  Many of you know me as a graphics designer, but the truth is, I can’t draw a straight line! Here is a sample of some of my earnings over the past 3 years.

Shelley Penney

What Makes This Product The Perfect PLR Subject?

For every person that is making a living on the internet there are many more who want desperately to know how!  Internet businesses are the ultimate in job security, and most people love the idea of working at home and making enough money to do all the things they don’t have the time and money to do now!  People are HUNGRY for information. Many people know they want to start a business, but have no idea where to start!  There are millions of searches monthly for different keywords related to home businesses. Now YOU are positioned to give them the information they crave! BEST OF ALL, we’ve done ALL of the hard work for you.

Show People How- They Will Follow You Forever

People always remember their teachers. 

If you can clear up the frustration and confusion they are experiencing and show them clearly how they can start today, and build a home business, they will remember you forever.

They will also return to buy from you over and over again. 

You will gain INSTANT credibility when they see practical suggestions that they can easily put into practice starting today!

Will You Make Money With This Course?

We’re not just spouting off theory like many other PLR producers! 

We already know this course sells! We’ve tested it, and fine tuned it, with actual students. 

That’s because, at the end of the day, we want you to have a product that we know is a hot topic, that sells, and has already been proven to generate income! 

Like this….

Selling Private Label Rights Products Is A NO BRAINER For Making Big Bucks  Online AND Offline!

BUILD YOUR BUSINESS

All you have to do is put your name on your product, upload it, and you’re in business for yourself.

HUGE NICHE

The BIGGEST!  This course is appealing to everyone who wants to start a business, or expand their current one!

100% Risk Free

This course is already proven to sell! You don’t have to HOPE it will sell. We KNOW it does!

Charge What You Want!

That’s right- you can set any price over $15 and keep all of the profits. Now you are a true business owner!

USE OUR REPUTATION

We’ve taken time to develop the program. We’ve already gained a reputation, and the testimonials show it. That means instant credibility!

EARN MONEY FOR EVER

There’s no time limit on this offer. You can put it up and sell it forever, bringing in multiple payments day after day! There’s no limit on your earnings.

GET PAID IMMEDIATELY

No longer do you have to wait for delayed commissions to be paid out. This is your product! There’s no middleman – you collect the money!

COMPLETE CONTROL!

You own the product. You decide how much to charge and what to add or subtract from your sales funnel. It’s 100% up to you!

HERE’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU WILL GET

MODULE #1 – Graphic Design Academy Video Course

Video Course– MP4

Section 1 – Introduction To Canva Graphic Design For Beginners

Lecture 1 – Introduction To Graphic Design With Canva

Section 2 – Graphic Designs And How To Make Them In Canva

Lecture 2 – Creating Social Media Posts And Graphics With Canva

Lecture 3 – How To Create Logos and Transparent Backgrounds

Lecture 4 – How To Cancel Canva For Work

Lecture 5 – How To Create Pinterest Graphics And Use Custom Dimensions

Lecture 6 – Where To Get Feminine Stock Photos For Pinterest

Lecture 7 – How To Create Pinterest Graphic Style 1

Lecture 8 – How To Create Pinterest Graphic Style 2

Lecture 9 – How To Use Magic Resize In Canva

Lecture 10 – How To Create Youtube Thumbnails And Use Royalty Free Photos

Lecture 11 – How To Use Canva To Design Menu, Frames And Grids

Lecture 12 – How To Design Anything In Canva And Conclusions

Watch 1st Lesson

MODULE #2 – Graphic Design Academy Course Transcription

Word Document Course– DOCx

Section 1 – Introduction To Canva Graphic Design For Beginners

Lecture 1 – Introduction To Graphic Design With Canva

Section 2 – Graphic Designs And How To Make Them In Canva

Lecture 2 – Creating Social Media Posts And Graphics With Canva

Lecture 3 – How To Create Logos and Transparent Backgrounds

Lecture 4 – How To Cancel Canva For Work

Lecture 5 – How To Create Pinterest Graphics And Use Custom Dimensions

Lecture 6 – Where To Get Feminine Stock Photos For Pinterest

Lecture 7 – How To Create Pinterest Graphic Style 1

Lecture 8 – How To Create Pinterest Graphic Style 2

Lecture 9 – How To Use Magic Resize In Canva

Lecture 10 – How To Create Youtube Thumbnails And Use Royalty Free Photos

Lecture 11 – How To Use Canva To Design Menu, Frames And Grids

Lecture 12 – How To Design Anything In Canva And Conclusions

MODULE #3 – Graphic Design Academy Audio Course

Audio Course – MP3

Section 1 – Introduction To Canva Graphic Design For Beginners

Lecture 1 – Introduction To Graphic Design With Canva

Section 2 – Graphic Designs And How To Make Them In Canva

Lecture 2 – Creating Social Media Posts And Graphics With Canva

Lecture 3 – How To Create Logos and Transparent Backgrounds

Lecture 4 – How To Cancel Canva For Work

Lecture 5 – How To Create Pinterest Graphics And Use Custom Dimensions

Lecture 6 – Where To Get Feminine Stock Photos For Pinterest

Lecture 7 – How To Create Pinterest Graphic Style 1

Lecture 8 – How To Create Pinterest Graphic Style 2

Lecture 9 – How To Use Magic Resize In Canva

Lecture 10 – How To Create Youtube Thumbnails And Use Royalty Free Photos

Lecture 11 – How To Use Canva To Design Menu, Frames And Grids

Lecture 12 – How To Design Anything In Canva And Conclusions

MODULE #4 – Graphic Design Academy DFY Sales Funnel

Sales Site and Product Delivery Page

We’ve thought of everything so you don’t have to!  Included in your product bundle is a beautiful, professionally written sales page, and a download page,  Upload the pages to your server, add your buy buttons and you’re in business!  If this part is holding you back, don’t worry! You will have the opportunity to hire us to install your pack on your server or host after your purchase.

MODULE #5 – Graphic Design Academy Graphics

Marketing Graphics

We’ve thought of everything so you don’t have to!  Included in your product bundle are these beautiful and professional product graphics, to use in your promotions. Aside from what you see here, there is also a large selection of static and animated banners for promotion

MODULE #6 – Private Label Rights License

PLR License

This is your ticket to the BIG LEAGUES!  This license gives you the right to edit the product (or not) and sell it for any amount you wish, to anyone you wish. You can even put your own name and logo on it and start promoting your own brand!

FAST ACTION BONUSES

FAST ACTION BONUS #1 7 Ways to make money with graphic design

FREE REPORT

Use this special report as a lead magnet, to stuff your mailing list with hot leads who are most interested in learning DIY Graphic Design.

FAST ACTION BONUS #2 Lead capture page and ebook delivery page

Squeeze Page & Delivery Page

We’ve thought of everything! In order to collect leads, you need a site that offers your free report, and delivers it.  DON’T HIRE ANYONE! We did it for you! 

FAST ACTION BONUS #3 Expert Graphics Videos (Master Resale Rights)

Tutorials for Photoshop and Gimp + Master Resale Rights

Expert Graphics Videos

Discover The Lazy Man’s Way To Learning Graphic Design And Get Paid Top Dollar For Your Work!

No prior experience or technical skill required.

Introducing … Expert Graphics Video Pack …

There are 15 video tutorial series in MP4 format in this pack!

Video #1 Creating a new document mp3 Video #2 Common selection tools and uses mp3 Video #3 File types and modes mp3 Video #4 Cropping resizing and resolutions mp3 Video #5 Working with layers mp3 Video #6 Layer blending modes mp3 Video #7 The text tool mp3 Video #8 Glowing text effect mp3 Video #9 Gold text effect mp3 Video #10 Getting started with GIMP mp3 Video #11 Create save and export images mp3 Video #12 Resize crop rotate and flip images mp3 Video #13 Introduction to layers mp3 Video #14 Selection tools mp3 Video #15 Paint tools mp3

Expert Graphics Videos

YOUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

During the Guarantee Period, once the file is downloaded, we will repair or replace, at no charge, any files that prove defective due to an error on our part. (please see full guarantee linked in footer)

Now, It’s Your Turn – Get Started Now…

[GET] Grahpic Design Academy PLR DOWNLOAD

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Title: The Complete iOS 11 & Swift Developer Course - Build 20 Apps The Complete iOS 11 & Swift Developer Course - Build 20 Apps pdf download

What Will I Learn?

Develop any iOS app you want

Become a professional iOS developer

Build apps for your business or organisation

Get app development jobs on freelancer sites

What Will I Learn? Develop any iOS app you want Become a professional iOS developer Build apps for your business or organisation Get app development jobs on freelancer sites Description *** Now Updated For Xcode 9 Beta 6 - 24th August 2017 *** Dreaming of developing an app? Maybe youve got a vision, some inspiration and youre ready to learn? Or maybe, youre looking to get ahead at work? Become an expert coder… be star of the show… Or, maybe youre looking for a complete career change? Either way, youre here because you wanna make something BRILLIANT… life changing…. IMMENSE… Then congratulations!! Nick Walter and I have built The Complete iOS 11 Developer Course just for you. I mean, check out what Apple says about iOS 11… “iOS 11 sets a new standard for the worlds most advanced mobile operating system. Your apps can now become more intelligent using the power of machine learning with Core ML. You can create incredible augmented reality experiences with ARKit. And you can deliver a more unified and immersive user experience with new multitasking features, including drag and drop for iPad, the new Files app, new camera APIs, new SiriKit domains, Apple Music integration, and more.” What does all this mean for you? More power… More possibilities… More va-va-voom… So why choose MY course over others? Im Rob Pervical, Udemys all time bestselling instructor, with over 600,00 students. Take a peek at my iOS 10 course and youll read things like: ***** Excellent explanation, right pace. Appreciate the exercises together with solutions right at the end of each part. Nice compromise between depth and overall view. Good Job! P. Leikauf ***** This course is simply too good. Rob does a great job in explaining and it is very easy to understand. Also, all the challenges are very interesting and I am loving it !! :-) V. Saravana ***** This course is so well planned out with the perfect blend of teaching vs challenging. I love the fact that as each and every minute goes by in the videos I am becoming a better swift programmer. Well worth every cent!!!! M.Fenech But enough about me! What about YOU? My guess is youre looking to shake things up a bit. Change career, rev up your earning potential, sock it to the man… Am I right? Well, if you sign up today…. you really can. And this is what youll get to set you up for success.. Sign up now and immediately access: A colossal 34 hours of rigorously tested, five-star pro content A complete toolkit to get designing your own apps with iOS 11, Swif 4, ARKit, MLKit, MusicKit and the new Depth Photo API. PLUS → A side-scrolling running game (like a Super Mario clone) AND a new Bluetooth app $100 AWS credit – instantly. And, like all my other courses you get my ULTIMATE JUMBO BONUS BUNDLE →→→→ $200 worth of unlimited web hosting (for a whole year) *Limited to one year per student not per course* Instant access to my five-star rated book: How to Earn $10,000 While Learning To Code Your very own graphical asset library, worth $300 and featuring over 1000 backgrounds, icons and buttons. Wait, still not convinced? I really am so confident youre going to love this course, Ill give you your money back within 30 days - if youre not completely happy. Ready to jump in? GREAT. Click that BUY NOW button to your right… or read on for the full course outline. ***** Very thorough clear explanations of swift development concepts. Best iOS development course I've tried so far. J. McCraw ***** From knowing nothing about makings app, I feel confident with being able to construct my own apps now. I'm only mid section 5 right now. Excellent course! H Hazari XCode and Interface Builder Inputs, Buttons, and Reactive Interfaces Apples New Programming Language: Swift Variables, Arrays, Tables, and Loops Navigation, Storage, and Live Content Images, Maps and Music Accelerometers and Motion Feedback Core Data and JSON Online Storage With Parse Games and the Sprite Kit Instagram and Snapchat Clones App Store Submission Making a Marketing Website For Your App Novice? Beginner? Programmer? Pro-developer? Yes, this course is absolutely for YOU. Whatever stage youre at. Beginner? No problem. We start with the basics. Already coding? Good. This is the perfect refresh for your skills… Its all about building your confidence at this stage. How? Because youre literally building apps as you go. Theres no better, or more exciting (or efficient) way to learn. We know youre busy. We know you wanna get started. And we hear you! Youll find the lectures whizz by, as you dash through each one, picking up my most powerful strategies for using iOS 11 - and quickly tessellating them into your own projects. Youll be staggered at how quickly youll pick things up (and how you barely notice as we shift things up a gear) into more advanced apps like x and x, using x, x and x. Imagine how youll feel after building own version of Super Mario World? According to this guy, pretty awesome, amIright? ***** The videos are awesome, the teaching is awesome, the examples are awesome. I started with never having built an app on iOS and now I am extremely comfortable building apps. I don't know why you would need any other course for iOS development. Just in case I was not clear: this course is awesome. S. Ramakrishnan Look: you dont need to remortage your home or sign away three years of your life… I recommend taking this course in six weeks. Power through it faster if you really want to, or take things easy and enjoy the ride in your own time. Thats the beauty of The Complete iOS 11 Developer Course - it fits around you, your life and it doesnt a fortune. Pretty transformative, right? ***** I had quite a bit of background in c++ before taking this course. Above all, I am so happy to have found that Rob's style of coding is exactly the same as mine. It is very "airy", clean, spaced out, and extraordinarily easy to read. Simply speaking, this class is exactly what you are looking for. J. Barr ***** Excellent course, very easy to follow along with and makes learning Swift actually fun and entertaining. T. McGee Help when YOU need it Need nulled download? Absolutely. My team and I are here to answer your questions. Just hop on email, Twitter or the Udemy forums and well get back to you. Simple as that. We dont bite - and genuinely, we love hearing your incredible success stories… Got a suggestion for making things better? This is your course, and we want your feedback. Whatever it is, were here for you. ***** Really well paced and informative. All my questions get answered super quick. One of, if not the best swift courses on udemy. J. Albertyn ***** Great course- shows you how to effectively build on top of prior knowledge. I've coded before, but never in iOS, so this is great for total beginners or people who haven't coded in awhile and want to improve or learn a new environment. He breaks it down so Xcode doesn't seem like a scary interface anymore. S. Hernandez Join thousands of my happy students and start building your dream apps, today. “OK, Im sold Rob – what do I need to get started?” Your brain, this course and a laptop/computer – nothing more, nothing less No pre-knowledge required A Mac is required, but no special software or fancypants hardware required Can I really become an expert app developer with this course? Sure! Check out my bio to see how I changed careers by teaching people to code. Its been the best decision I ever made. I can spend more time with my family, enjoy the freedom of working for myself and all the amazing benefits that comes with that. Whoever you are, wherever you are; this course is designed to get you up and coding like a pro. The rest is up to you. The opportunities are out there – theyre just waiting to be grasped. And with this course, youll be in the right place to do just that. So dont hang around. Start now and become the expert app developer youve always dreamed of. And dont forget, you get ALL those bonuses, the e-book, the $100 AWS vouchers, the free web hosting for a year and nulled download from me and my team… AND a 30-day money back guarantee, if youre not completely happy. You really have got nothing to lose! Click that the buy now button… and lets begin your adventure, today. Who is the target audience? Anyone wanting to learn how to build apps People wanting to make a living (or side-income) from app development Anyone who wants to learn to code The Complete iOS 11 & Swift Developer Course - Build 20 Apps course download The Complete iOS 11 & Swift Developer Course - Build 20 Apps full course download The Complete iOS 11 & Swift Developer Course - Build 20 Apps read course online The Complete iOS 11 & Swift Developer Course - Build 20 Apps full course nulled