#more of a whinge really
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want to draw but cannot. blowing things up with my mind
#not only do i have an rsi in my drawing wrist but ive also got constant pain in another joint in that arm!!#dont do nearly 4 hours straight of essay writing exams in one day lads its not goof#i want to DRAW but i CANT AOUGH#anyways#vent? ish?#more of a whinge really#con rambles
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gushing etc
#i wanna say im always incredibly touched whenever people like and interact with my fic at all#but honestly the thing that's got me the hardest is that after i posted my death note your name au#and then made that extra tumblr post where i just rambled about it for a bit#that post ended up getting more interaction than even the fic post#which absolutely shocked me because i wrote that post like#for myself or for the i thought maybe 2 or 3 people who might be interested in reading it#i really thought it would get like 1 interaction.#it's absolutely crazy to me that anyone let alone that many people were interested enough not only in reading the fic#but in reading what i had to say about it. like idk how to express this without just turning into a fruit gusher#but it really is just fucking humbling#not to fucking whinge but im quite used to being talked over and interrupted in my real life#so thank you very much for caring what i have to say.#it is hard to express what that means.#rookposting#man shut up @ myself
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#i feel like i can't feel any emotion normally#like i know that can be a thing with autism but i don't know if i have autism but i may#but i also certainly have adhd is it a thing with adhd?#anyway basically part of the reason i'm always so distraught is because i literally just#feel like i'm stressed literally always and can't read a single mean comment or anything without#feeling it for weeks#the other day youtube recommended me some random rage bait#it was like 'old pagan lady whinges at bad handicrafts' or some shit#and then it was just an old british woman drinking wine and bitching#and she specifically was bitching about resin#and saying that no one should support resin jewelry because it's plastic and it takes no skill because all you're doing is pouring#resin into a mold#so it doesn't even really count as art it's basically just manufactured#and i went into the comments hoping someone would defend me and it was just like wall to wall people agreeing and#calling resin artists immoral people#and making fun of it#it felt like mad at you island but real#and literally the entire rest of teh day i was ideating suicide more than usual#and even still i feel like i'm no longer allowed to make my own art#because of some randos online#again just not normal emotions#shrimp emotions actually#they come on so so so hard and don't go away i get depressed at the tiniest thing
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Really burned out trying to do more than one unit a year, so it seems.
#...as can probably be inferred by my endless procrastination here and seeking of minor dopamine bursts!#first assignment down#i *really* enjoyed last trimester coming back into it after the baby#this trimester i'm just resentful XD#it was the same my first year back into study: loved the first unit#massively begrudged and resented the second#part of it is that i HATE half-arsing things#and that when i do half-arse including by choice i get bitter and mocking about it#the other part is more complicated#because i do enjoy the learning even when it's whinging or bitching about the concepts (it's like change resistance - at least whinging#about a thing requires legitimately engaging with it; first steps to critical thinking then understanding/implementing)#anyway i can drop back to one unit a year from next year#just need to grind through the next two assignments :/
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Something I really wish more creators would understand is that constantly complaining about your work not getting as much engagement as you'd like doesn't make me want to engage with your work more, it just makes you look bitter and the endless negativity makes me want to unfollow
#idk it's fine to complain about every now and then but some people make it 70% of their online personality and it gets so tiring#there's a youtuber who's videos i really like but over time he's just posted more and more about how youtube clearly hates him etc#and it's so tiring#and i know it's harder when you get a large part of your income from online content#but for people who aren't doing this as a career maybe you need to reassess your relationship with social media engagement#anyway#whinge over#personal post#tbd
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why are my hyperfixations never on anything cheap, bro. it's always gotta be ENAMEL PINS or MECHANICAL KEYBOARDS or BOOKS or ARTWORK and PENS. and broken glass. i guess that one is kinda cheap.
#staring at my bank account wondering if I can justify spending another $400 on top of the $200#I spent this morning buying a new keyboard and switches#(the $400 would be for more switches 2 fully built keyboards and like 5 sets of keycaps)#(I'm really fucking genuinely considering it which is dangerous I JUST bought a new ipad on a whim a couple weeks ago.)#(like I do have the money in my savings account. I could in theory go Crazy go Stupid. but SHOULD I.)#It's funny because I went to visit Ez (mwah) in July and I let myself spend shit tons of money. and I haven't been able to STOP myself#ever since then.#the plus side is at least I am EMPLOYED now.#perhaps I shouldn't be kicking myself for whinging that I might not be able to save $4-$500 a month. maybe. maybe actually.#am I being a little piss baby. I think I am being a little piss baby actually.#how much money per month should someone my age be saving even????
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I'm awake again. Unfortunately.
#text post#more nightmares and im even grumpier now!! and my brain still doesn't want to let me do anything or enjoy anything rn#apologies y'all. im trying and it's not working and maybe i just have to accept this weekend is a wash for me#it happens and it's fine there'll be other weekends#i just really wish my brain was cooperating for this one#(and while well meaning pls no one send the 'dont say its ur brain' post again. bc i have been attempting the tips on that post already)#(and as u can see they aren't working for me and rather have made me grumpier still so just. u mean well & i appreciate it but pls dont)#a few ppl send it every time i dare to complain or whinge abt anything on here vs just posting this all to my vent blog#but like. this is my main i should b able to also post here even if im feeling fussy like#whatever. they don't care how i actually feel they want me to shut up. so im shutting up and going downstairs to do...idk
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One thing I will say, if there really isn't a planned ending for the mandalorian they could at least pace themselves better. There have been so many moments that could have been the arc of a whole season and they just pass by without much comment. They're really rushing through a lot of valuable plot points and there's not even a finish line to get to, yknow? If they were dealing with a looming finale it would make sense, but that's not the case.
I expected the scope of the plot to get bigger and more complicated, but if there's no plan to end the show, they could do that and still take their time. I thought pacing issues were just a book of boba fett problem but I guess not.
They've also lowkey dropped the ball on making this show character driven, in small but consistent ways. Like spending an episode on fixing IG-11 only to forget it later. We've seen Din be stubbornly goal oriented before- its weird for him to drop the idea almost as quickly as he had it.
I'm also not impressed with the circumstances that led to Din handing over the darksaber. It makes sense and is in character for him to do it, but the way it came about was a total coincidence. Not a plot by a known enemy, not even a compromise between characters with different ideologies- just one episode where Din lost a fight. Even the situation that led to Bo Katan seeing the mythosaur was circumstantial and an accident. Basically, it would be nice if things happened on purpose more often, even if it is funny when things happen to our main characters for no reason.
There's so much in this show that I still enjoy though! There's still a lot happening character-wise that I really love! Hopefully they can course correct with season 4, since I don't think there will be time in this one with only one episode left.
#the mandalorian#star wars#the mandalorian spoilers#lucy watches star wars#i really liked this episode!! i wish the rest of the season was more consistently like this!#anyways im done whinging i promise
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i tonya is always a movie i'm gonna be annoyed exists, not cuz i dislike it (it's fine, its' not great but it's adequate and it has its moments) but because i have a vision in my head of a movie about that whole mess that is never gonna come to fruition because there's already been a major motion picture about it
#personal#like a) i'd love to have a more even focus on nancy as well as tonya and paralleling the stuff going on with them#cuz there were similarities but also points where paths diverged#(both grew up lower class but nancy had a much better support system and stable personal life that tonya did not)#plus leave it more ambiguous whether or not tonya was actually involved and do a lot more of the he said she said aspect#that i tonya sorta had but didn't really do anything with all that much#and also i'd really love to focus on the media ecosystem at the time#and the way the media specifically reacted to the entire thing#cuz there's this one moment at the end of i tonya that i liked but did not feel at all earned in that movie#where the news finally moving on from the attack and aftermath is juxtaposed with the beginning of coverage of oj simpson getting arrested#this other major news event of the 90s that had a lot of sensationalism and breathless media coverage and 24 hour news cycle thing#and if the movie had focused on that at all it could be really good#so yeah that's my whinge for the night#idk i'm a youngster so i'll still be around the next time a major anniversary of it pops up so maybe in 2044
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#every. time. i feel the urge to or do sh i should remember that i don't have a desk and a lap is for putting things on and using not#avoiding all the places where it's painful bc yknow open wounds xD#<- this is a whinge brought to you by the fact that it's been really annoying today to deal with#but! it's been more than 24 hours! for the first time in at least a weekand a half! at which point the average time I calculate was#approximately five hours on average when awake but currently it's sitting at around 28 hours since i last harmed :)#smol steps#tw sh#personal#i am just gently whinging rn with no desire to do more harming xD
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We Need To Talk About Baldur's Gate 3 Being The New Industry Standard (T...
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#love u steph#i certainly won't claim that the ''this shouldn't be the new standard'' rhetoric didn't both me#it did#but i think the core if it is not expecting other studios to be able to compete sans similar resources#but rather making it glaringly obvious that aaa studios backed by major corporations just ARE NOT able to create similar games#and let's be frank that SUCKS#i will give bioware shit all day but a major component of my bitterness is that i know they can do great shit when they're allowed to#and the chokehold on single player story focused rpgs rn is just wild#big studios like bioware arent allowed to make games like this anymore#and i think that reality is made extremely stark in this context bc bioware made bg 1&2#the studio that laid the groundwork for so much of this stuff has been gutted#and there are few examples of how wrong things have gone more obvious than anthem#ugh idk im just whinging and i don't really have a thesis here but#something is WRONG#something is rotten in denmark
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I just get so tired of waking up every day and having to claw my way up to some emotional baseline
#but really what choice do I have#just not wake up? not the healthiest option#probably need to up my meds#I just feel so defeated living each day like this#bleggghhh#so I take a small handful of pills and vitamins and drink my little coffee and chug water and try try try to distract myself#wining. whinging and wining and bitching and moaning.#what would my therapist suggest? try focusing on what’s real and logical and rational. not feelings and emotions?#but I just can’t always be logical with fucking chemicals in my brain#I can’t outthink chemicals or the days when my hearing gets real bad or even when I just don’t feel too fucking good my dude#try to focus on the good parts of tinnitus and bug hurty tummy ya butthole#okay he’s not a butthole he’s actually very very nice and has been very patient with me#but just let me be negative about this for a minute jeez#I’m so fucking grumpy these last few days#trying to… ugh I guess eat my feelings? I hate that phrase and I’m not over eating#but I have been I guess STRATEGICALLY EATING things I hope would temporarily boost my mood. sugary stuff. caffeine. junk.#god I wish I just had drugs for this. for when it gets too hard.#this sounds so pathetic. oooo nooo I just want to get high because im soooo sad 😭#I have three (3) klonopin left I save for bad days or anxiety or whatever and I doubt my doc is gonna give me more#I’ve been taking buspar for the past couple of weeks and I really don’t know if it helps#hell im not entirely convinced buspar is not only NOT adding anything but if I stop my body will hate me#need to go talk about that with the dr but my appointment is next month and im lazy about pushing it up sooner#we’ll see. probably do that tomorrow after I run some errands#is this exciting? getting to see me plan out my day tomorrow? gonna grab groceries and med refills. wow it’s an inside scoop just for you#anyway this is a lot of rambling and I’m sorry if you read any of this#I’m super duper poor right now but I think I’ll run to the gas station and get a big fucking huge soda so I can ride a small sugar high#uggghhhh what a waste of a post#you can ignore this#text
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David Tennant interview at the British LGBT Awards, June 2024 (x)
Int: You being an ally to the community isn't something new. You've been doing it, but recently you've obviously really stepped up for trans and non-binary people in a time that's so, so needed. What made you do that?
David: I don't know that I feel like I've done anything that I wouldn't just sort of be normally doing. I mean, it's for me it's just common sense that there's there should be any suggestion that people aren't allowed to live the life they want to live and and to be who they want to be with and to express themselves wholeheartedly. I mean, as long as you aren't hurting anybody else, everybody else just needs to fucking butt out. I don't really understand why...
Int: ...it's controversial.
David: Yeah, there is and the thing... the thing, if there's something that's particularly sobering and depressing, it's that certain debates are being weaponized by certain elements of the political class, often for no... it seems it's not ideological so much as opportunistic. And I just think that's pretty disgusting, really.
Int: I couldn't agree more. What message would you like to send out to trans youth?
David: Please don't feel like you're not loved and that you're not accepted and that you're not... you know, most people in the world are good and kind and just want you to be able to be who you are. Most people in the world don't really care. I mean... you know what I mean?
Int: We're all narcissistic.
David: Exactly. Everyone's so self obsessed that really, the sort of noise that comes from a certain area of the press and of the political class is... it's a minority. It really is. And please don't let that make you feel diminished or dissuaded or discouraged, because, you know, you just... you have to be allowed to be yourself, and you are, and you are yourself and you must thrive and flourish, and we're all here for it.
Int: Amazing. I think, yeah, it's so important .I think sometimes it feels like there's so many people, but it is a minority. It's such a minority.
David: It's a tiny bunch of little whinging fuckers that are on the wrong side of history and they'll all go away soon.
Int: Like what happened with gay people 20 years ago.
David: When I was a kid, when I was a kid, exactly. You know, I was at school when Clause 28 came in and it all felt like being gay was something to be terrified of. And gay men in particular were demonised as paedophiles and now that just feels historic and ludicrous and, I mean, I don't see all those... all those battles aren't won, but we're in a very, very different place. And I feel like.I feel like history is on a progressive trajectory and it might get knocked sideways now and again by people for all sorts of reasons, which are often quite selfish and quite, as I say, not coming from a place of any sort of genuine belief system, but other than a place of opportunism. And that's something that we... I hope that in 20 years time, we're talking about, you know, these culture wars as something of the past.
Int: I believe we will. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan, so.
David: Oh, good, me too!
Int: You are my Doctor.
David: Oh, thank you very much.
Int: But recently, obviously, you came back for the 60th anniversary and you got to work with Yasmin Finney.
David: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Int: What was it like working with her?
David: Oh, she's brilliant. She's fantastic. Yeah. And she's in the show again now, she's back in it, so that's fantastic to see. She's lovely, talented, cool as a cucumber, articulate, brilliant. I learned a lot from her as an actor and also as someone who, you know, who's become a sort of de facto activist just because of who she is and where she is, and she becomes a sort of symbol of hope, and she's wonderful.
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arabic linguistics book that transcribes arabic words in neither IPA nor arabic script but a secret third thing that i cannot read without flipping back to the beginning of the book to check every single time
#follow for more relatable content and lukewarm whinging#language#the book was less than a dollar so i'm not Really complaining#feels a little egregious to not put examples in script#but i guess the further i get the more will be 'ammiyya#but come on most of these have been fusha and classical
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and then i scrolled my dash for .2 seconds and went UUUUUUUGGGHHHHHH out loud as i lost another blog i was following because i thought it was a nice netural same-fandom blog but then they went "MAN [thing i like] IS SHITTY AND STUPID AND WORTHLESS" and this just keeps happening to me. how do i get duped into thinking they're at least neutral??
like listen i have actively been accused of trying to dictate other people's opinions and i swear i'm not trying to do that it's just like. a big bummer that people are so nasty about it. you can dislike it it's whatever i just wish i could find. someone to chill in vague proximity to without the risk of opening my dash one day to nastiness u know?
#also ''they obviously didn't care and broke everything'' is so. petulant of a way to talk about that team of movie makers#very obviously a love letter to the Adventure of the movies#dumped the Complex Themes in favor of going more simple and straightforward does not mean#they didn't care or understand the other movies#it means the parts they loved best were the action and hijinks and more comedic elements#this is not the Big Evil Crime you make it out to be actually#my wHINGING HAS MIGRATED BLOGS AAAHH#ok sorry sorry sorry i unfollowed the problem is really very solved i'll shut up now
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Simon was never one for cockwarming, didn’t see much point in it.
Until he did it of course.
It was supposed to just shut you up, you were so worked up and whining and whinging about needing something from him that he practically rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his office chair and listened to you rant at him.
Well…the ranting didn’t actually last long though.
He’d stop you with a simply raise of his hand, a quick command for silence as his eyes pierce straight into you.
“You’re gonna come over here. Sit on my cock. Do not move until I am done. Then I’ll fuck you good baby, alright? That sound good?”
I mean obviously that sounds great so there’s not gonna be much hesitation on your end.
But the one thing he didn’t expect was it to be
So. Damn. Difficult.
He’s just tryna focus on the damn paperwork, it’s important after all. But you’re squeezing him so tight and you’re practically panting into his neck while you keep his cock all nice and warm.
It takes everything out of him to genuinely focus on his work, not just slam you across the desk and absolutely ruin every single hole you’ll let him fuck.
By the time he’s finished with the paperwork he’s twitching and throbbing inside you, and it doesn’t take him long to have you completely bent over the desk while he’s just pounding into you like a wild animal.
“Fuck. That’s whatcha been wanting huh? To just sit on my cock and drive me up the fucking wall?”
“You’re gonna do this more often baby. Gonna have you sit nice and pretty till I wanna fuck ya again and again.”
So yeah…he wasn’t really one for cockwarming but hell now he definitely is.
#simon riley smut#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#cod ghost#ghost smut#ghost x reader#ghost cod#ghost#cod smut#cod
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